#when we see the cats acting in promiscuity the entire musical

[victorian-vampir]

Hey.

Jekyll and Hyde is not about a DID system (it's about duality of mankind and repression)

Grizabella was not shunned from the jellicle cats because she was a sex worker (We don't know why she was shunned because it's not important. Also she's a cat, how the fuck is she a sex worker when she's a cat. Promiscuity is not an issue for the clan regardless.)

Victor Frankenstein is not at fault for his monster leaving. (He stood in his back garden for six hours waiting for the sun to rise before going for a walk. When he got back to his house the monster had left)

There are multiple interpretations of text and stories. However there's also times where the text blatantly spells out what it's try to say. Or it doesn't. And you end up with a cat who maybe did sex work and I have no idea how.

[camilorico]

Ariana Grande’s Start of Evolution from Teenage TV Star to Critically Acclaimed Artist with “Yours Truly”

Ariana Grande, now recognized all over America and even globally, was first only recognized as “Cat Valentine” from the popular Nickelodeon TV show, “Victorious”. Ariana Grande acted as the character Cat Valentine, who was a ditzy yet adorable side character on the show. She had several singing performances on the show, but it can easily be said that her potential was not anywhere close to fulfilled at the time.

However, Grande's main obstacle was not being taken seriously as a music artist and only viewed as  Nickelodeon character “Cat”. Grande did overcome this issue once she signed with a record label. One can even say it was in a similar way to how Miley Cyrus broke away from her childhood Disney persona of “Hannah Montana” through her own music career launch with promiscuous music videos “We Can’t Stop” and “Wrecking Ball”. Although Grande did not bombard the world with controversial “adult” songs and music videos like how Cyrus did, Grande created her new persona as “Ariana Grande the music artist” by first proving her vocal talent and then gradually shifting away from the “innocent childhood” persona through her subsequent albums.

Grande launched her music career with her debut album “Yours Truly”, which had a retro 90s R&B style encompassed in an innocent and refined way, still maintaining her young teenage persona, as the entire tracklist consisted of love songs, specifically a young girl in love. However the purpose of this debut album was to not drastically change Grande’s persona already, but to showcase her amazing vocal range. Looking at the track “Baby I”, the song has a 90s R&B vibe and bubbly lyrics and the music video is simple and innocent with Grande dancing on the street in a top and shorts, but her impressive vocal performance in the song can easily be compared to that of Mariah Carey.

Although this blog post has been highlighting that Grande has been maintaining an innocent persona throughout the debut album, its lead single “The Way”, which actually reached Top 10 on the charts, did show a subtle maturity to Grande. The featuring artist in the track, Mac Miller was her boyfriend at the time, and so the lyrics of the song implied they had a more “mature relationship” than what was shown to the public. Taking a look at some of Mac Miller's verses talking about Grande:

"I make you feel so fine, make you feel so fine

I hope you hit me on my celly when I sneak in your mind

You a princess to the public, but a freak when it's time

Said your bed be feeling lonely

So you're sleeping in mine"

This is a subtle transition for Grande out of her TV character as Cat Valentine because the Nickelodeon show “Victorious” was aimed for a young adolescent audience, therefore relationships were kept PG and the most that was shown was on-screen kissing. Not to mention, Cat Valentine was also portrayed as an innocent young girl herself, so it would have been a surprise to the world to see her in a sexual way. This can be compared to how the public reacted to Vanessa Hudgens’ scandal of her leaked nudes to her boyfriend at the time, Zac Efron, as they were both co-stars of the popular Disney movie series, High School Musical. The world was shocked that the “innocent Disney actress” would be doing something sexually active and that shattered their innocent image of her and it even negatively impacted her by almost losing her role in the movie series. I believe that to avoid the possibility of her career failing due to this, Ariana Grande kept it safe by making the changes subtle to not “shock” her listeners.

However, with Grande keeping it safe, my one critique with the album “Yours Truly” is that it was a little “too innocent”. Each song was so innocent and bubbly that there didn’t feel like much variety, as they were all predictable love songs, which gets boring after a while. This can make the album seem a little “bland” since it doesn’t take many risks with lyrics/message or tone. One commenter from another blog review on the album “Yours Truly” stated that “Ariana's problem is that she has no musical identity. There wasn't a flat out bad song (besides Popular Song) on the album, but they all did sound very samey. I think the problem here is that she is trying to emulate 90's R&B too much, down to the formulaic vocals that Mariah popularized with it.” With this album alone, Grande did not have a surprising or eye-catching entrance into the music industry, as she solely relied on her vocal talents, which although very impressive, just simply not something new in the music world with many other preceding amazing female artists, such as Mariah Carey.

Overall, “Yours Truly” was a well orchestrated initial step for Ariana Grande’s transition of leaving the Nickelodeon film industry and entering the hardcore professional music industry. The album is a refined collection of bubbly love songs that her fan base can mainly relate to, as they are also mostly young teenage girls like herself. It is not an album that may be to the liking of the majority of listeners outside of that specific gender and age group, but it slowly built these fans’ admiration toward Ariana Grande to allow her to become the world-famous artist that she is today.

[katebacks]

Daddy Issues Part I - Jeon Jungkook (M,A)

— pairing | Jeon Jungkook /Reader — word c | 7,592 — genre | Smut, angst, Stalker au! Killer au! psycho au!, horror. — summary |  [ When you started dating Jungkook, he was your gateway to all the pain but when you finally find out who he really is, you realize it’s too late to go back. You are in danger, and you know it, but worst of all is that you don’t want to escape. ]. — warnings/tags |   Bad words, oral (female receiving). violence, use of alcoholic beverages, drugs, sex, harassment. If you do not feel well with these themes, please do not read.

“Joy, this is a very bad idea, if we're seen leaving school at this time, we'll be suspended.”  You said as your friend pulled you down the corridor to the stairs leading to the first floor where there was an exit to the school garden.

“Sure, and where are they going to send us? We live here, (Y/N), they cannot suspend us because our parents pay for us to stay here and not in our homes.” She whispered, looking from side to side, being careful not to catch anyone's attention. “And today is Friday, we should enjoy our teenage years a little while we still have one, or we'll end up like Mrs. Fritz, unhappy at age 45, with a house full of cats to feed, waiting for death.”

“Okay, and where do you intend to go? The college is in the middle of nowhere, remember? There's only forest on all sides. The city is very far.”

“Taehyung is waiting for us at the entrance of the school. We just need to run.” She said and you rolled your eyes. You didn’t like to do wrong things, at least not anymore.

The last time you did something wrong, you were sent to that boarding school as your father's punishment. But being honest with yourself, you would rather stay there than to be forced to see your father taking a different woman to your home every day. You and your father had lived alone since your mother decided divorce him and marry a richer man. Your father spent most of his time working, or drinking in bars. You had lost count of how many times he had come home drunk and yelled at you, saying that it was all your fault, that your mother had left him was your fault, and when he was sober, even knowing what he had done , he acted as if nothing had happened. Your father had never done anything to physically hurt you, he just screamed how useless you were.

So when he decided he would send you to a boarding school after he had picked you up at the police station one early morning, you couldn’t feel any more relieved to be able to get away from him. You loved him, he was your father after all, but you didn’t want to go through all that humiliation any more. You'd miss your old friends, but it was better that way.

It was two years since you were there, and Joy was literally your best friend, she was the first to talk to you when you arrived and introduced you to all her friends, and they eventually became your friends too. Of all of them, Taehyung was the closest to you, he treated you like a younger sister although you have the same age, but Joy always said he had a crush on you, but you never listened, Joy always spoke too much. But you couldn’t deny that Taehyung was a handsome boy, he had those innocent, sincere eyes and that contagious smile. He was tall and always affectionate. But you would never see him otherwise.

After you reached the school gate, running away from all the night guards, you and Joy jumped on the red Taehyung’s convertible and he sailed away from there.

“Girls, you are stunning.” The blonde said smiling at the two who smiled back. You wore black slacks with some ripped, a white top and leather boots. Joy already wore a plaid mini-skirt with a red top with black boots. She always liked showing off more than you and you were okay with it.

"Where are we really going?" You asked after a few minutes on the road. Taehyung looked at you in the rearview mirror and Joy turned back, smiling at you, and did not even have to say anything to let you know where you were going. “Please don’t tell me we're going to Hell hound.”

“Oh yeah, baby.”

“Did you go crazy? They say that place is super dangerous, full of regulars gangs, and dangerous people. They said that many people were murdered and raped inside. Not to mention all the times that the police invaded that place and arrested drug dealers. And fuck, we're underage, if we try to get in there, we’ll get in trouble and...”

“Chill out, doll.” Taehyung said laughing and stretching his arm back, touching your knee, trying to calm you down. “We'll be fine. Nothing will happen to us. There's a lot of underage kids there, we're probably going to find half the school there, they all use fake IDs, but I have someone who's going to get us in there without us needing it. Just stay in ours, we will have no problems, okay? You can trust me.”

"If I die, I'll come back and kill you." You said leaning back and crossing you arms, pouting, which made the boy laugh.

“We have a deal.”

Taehyung really had someone to put them into the Pub without asking for identity or asking questions, which led you to think that he could only have bribed the securities, because money wasn’t a problem for him, since his father was one of the richest in the country. As soon as you entered the bar, you noticed how dark it was inside. You stopped to watch the dance floor and some tables around it. People danced rubbing each other and you didn’t know if you felt claustrophobic or happy to have agreed to go out with your friends. You've never been a fan of crowds. As you went down the stairs to the floor, you found yourself facing some of your classmates, many of them hadn’t even seen you since they were too busy eating someone propped up on the walls, getting drunk or using drugs. And those who saw you three just nodded and continued what they were doing.

Some people bumped into you and forced you to get even closer to Taehyung who was in front, leading the way.

The worst part of the parties for you were the drunks. Sober men can’t hear a no, so imagine drunk men? You hated it. You hated being touched without your permission. In fact, all women hated it.

Somehow, by the time they got to the liquor counter, Taehyung got some drinks for you, and even if you were not a big fan of alcoholic drinks, you gladly accepted it. You sat at a table facing the dance floor and you kept quiet listening to the two of them chat while you watched the place. It didn’t seem as dangerous as everyone said, just a little promiscuous and full of drug users, which really didn’t matter to you, you didn’t care about the lives of others unless they were your friends'.

While you were steeped in thoughts, you felt a chill, as if something was about to happen. You started looking sideways, searching for something you didn’t know what it was, until your eyes fell on a man, which made you totally lose your breath and choke. He had his black hair thrown back, and he was leaning against the wall under the stairs, across the room, almost hiding in the dark. He had his arms folded across his chest and his head tilted to the side. He wore an all-black outfit, from his blouse to his shoe. And he was looking at you.

It was hard to describe in words what you felt when you could even feel the intensity of his gaze on you, and what your body felt when his eyes passed through you. Your entire body warmed and involuntarily you squeezed your thighs, feeling your clit throb. God, what is this?

“I want to dance.” Joy said and suddenly you were being pulled onto the dance floor, losing sight of that man.

“Why don’t you take Taehyung?"

"Because Taehyung is a man and if I rub myself on him while I'm dancing, the guys here will think he's my boyfriend."

“If they see you rubbing yourself in a girl, they'll think you're a lesbian.” You said it loud enough for her to hear, and she laughed.

“Well, men have a fetish with two women dancing sensuously together, whether they're lesbians or not. So do me a favor and dance sensually so I can get a fuck tonight, or you'll have to put up with me masturbating in the bedroom for the rest of the month. Again.”

"You're a bitch."

"I know, honey, I know."

And Joy was right, two girls dancing together call more attention than a girl dancing alone, but you didn’t like the looks you were getting from some men standing around. As soon as a man approached you, you stepped back as he approached Joy. He was very handsome, was her style, so it was not long before the two of them were dancing and kissing in the middle of the dance floor. The music was very sexy and you loved to dance alone in your bedroom, pretending to be a sensual dancer, but you had no ounce of courage to dance the way you wanted to in the midst of all those people. Feeling uncomfortable there, you decided to get out of the crowd and go to the bar or look for Taehyung. But as soon as you moved, you spotted that same boy who was propped up under the stairs. You were hypnotized by him again.

He pushed away from the wall and all the other people in the room began to move in slow motion as he walked confidently toward you, not taking his eyes off you, not even looking where he stepped.

The sensual beats of music just helped you run out of air each time he got one step closer to you.

Push a little further on the edge

And it was closer.

Crawl a little further on the bed, babe

And closer.

I'm burning up, yeah, all I see is red

As soon as he was under the light that lit the dance floor, you can see him better and you were definitely right in feeling horny, aroused and intimidating at the same time, he was simply the most handsome man you had ever seen in life.

She said: Fuck me like I'm famous I said: Okay

“Breathe.” His voice said when he was very close to you, and only then you see that you had forgotten to breathe. Your cheeks burn. You felt like an inexperienced virgin, gasping for breath at the sight of a handsome man. You tried to open your mouth to say something, but the intensity with which he looked at you was making you unable to say anything. “I'm Jungkook.”

“(Y/N).” You answered lower than you should and didn’t know if he had heard because of the loud music, but he smiled and repeated your name, making melody to your ears. You've never been so fond of hearing your name come out of someone else's mouth.

“You don’t seem to be enjoying the party.” He said, looking you up and down slowly. "And you don’t seem to like dancing either."

“I like to dance…"

“Its not what it looked like a few seconds ago.” He said moving his eyes from you to Joy who was busy kissing a guy and then looked back at you. “You don’t seem the type who likes attention.”

“How do you know?" You asked, intrigued.

"The way you walk, you move in a way as if you don’t want to touch anyone, you have good moves to dance, but don’t let go of it with fear that draws much attention to you and I saw how quickly you moved away from all the guys who were trying hit on you. You're wearing black and white, neutral colors, colors that don’t draw attention. And you've arranged your hair in a way that makes it easier to hide your face when you're ashamed.” He said and you lowered your head, trying to hide the redness in your cheeks. “Just like you’re doing right now.”

"You seem to be very perceptive.” You raised your head trying to stand firm and not tremble beneath that man's gaze. "I don’t like crowded places."

"If you don’t like crowded places, then why did you came here?" He asked without taking his eyes from yours. You shrugged.

“My friends wanted to get out of the ... routine.” You answered. "They wanted to have fun in other ways.”

"You don’t look like you're having fun. That's not fair.” Jungkook licked his lips, almost making you stop breathing again, and looked around as if looking for someone. Soon after he looked at you and pointed in one direction. When you looked, you saw Joy walking away with that boy. And as soon as he pointed to another direction, you saw Taehyung sitting at one of the tables with a girl on his lap. You definitely were not amused watching your friends leave to be with other people. Wait, how did he know you knew Taehyung?

You turned to him with a frown and he looked at you with an unshakable expression.

“How did you ...”

"I saw you coming in with them."

“That's kind of bizarre.” You said, and he laughed, making you delighted by his laughter.

"It's not bizarre. I just got interested in you, shouldn’t I?”

You bit your lips and saw his eyes darken, staring at your mouth. He bit the corner of his mouth before approaching your ear, making your whole body shiver.

"Do you want to get out of here? We can talk in my car.”

"Don’t get me wrong, Jungkook, but we just met and I don’t know if I can trust you …"

“I understand.” He said with a disgruntled sigh, you really thought you had spoiled your chances with him, but then he reached into his pocket, took a key ring, and flung it over the people, across the dance floor. You stared wide-eyed, surprised at his action. “Well, I just threw my car keys away and I doubt I'll find them so soon, so now there's no way I can open my car, throw you in the trunk and kidnap you.”

“You're crazy.” You laughed out loud, still not believing what he had done. That was something. He was handsome, looked sweet and polite. What could go wrong? You nodded, giving him a smile.

Jungkook then wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you close as he guided you toward the exit, pushing away anyone who accidentally or purposely approached you. As you left the pub, you walked a few yards to the side of the bar, where there was the parking lot and a black Mustang parked a few feet from where Taehyung parked his car.

You two sat on the hood of the car and started talking like two friends, getting to know each other. It was already past midnight and during the conversation, you discovered some things about Jungkook. He was 23 years old, he was mechanic, had his own car workshop downtown, he was a good student at school and received letters from major universities but denied all, not wanting to spend four years of his life studying and then spend the rest of it behind of some table. Jungkook wanted to live, and as he liked cars, he had decided that he would start his own business. He was not from there, but lived for almost two years in the city. His parents lived in the countryside.

“I don’t have much to talk about me. My story is very boring." You said without taking your eyes off your hands that were on your lap. His hand came to rest on top of yours, making your attention turn to him. He looked at you sweetly, almost innocently, smiling shyly at you.

“I'm sure your story can be anything but boring.” He said it much lower than when you were at the party, since there were no loud songs and no thunderous noises to disturb your hearing. His voice was as soft and sweet as his smile. His fingers began to caress the back of your hand as he still stared at you.

“The story can be long ...”

“I have all the time in the world.”

You then told about what had happened to your family. You told how your mother left you, how things went after she left, how your father acted around you, how many nights you wished you hadn’t even been born. You told him how you became shy at school, how you pulled away most of your friends, and told about the night that ended up at the police station. Jungkook listened to you intently, ignoring the looks of some people walking through the parking lot.

"Has he ever hit you?" He asked with a certain tone of irritation in his voice, which went unnoticed by you.

“No, never, but the way things were, it wasn’t going to take long for that to happen.” You said laughing sarcastically. Jungkook took a deep breath and released the air slowly, looking away, clawing at his jaw. “But let's not talk about it. Tell me about your car workshop.”

So you continued to talk for a long time. And you couldn’t deny that you was attracted to him and him for you, so when you felt an ounce of courage while he talked about something, you leaned over and kissed him. He didn’t look surprised by your gesture, because he immediately reached into your hair and deepened the kiss. It was so intense you could barely breathe and it was so good that you couldn’t contain your moans as he pulled your hair.

In a few seconds he had come down from the hood and was now between your legs, one hand in your hair and the other over your breast, and neither of you cared to be in an open-air parking lot, you were more worried about the horny you were feeling.

"You shouldn’t have thrown your keys away." You whispered as soon as his lips left yours to kiss your neck. Your hands went to his hair and he laughed against your neck.

"There's another way to open a car, my dear."

”Then do it." You said raising his face. "Or fuck me against this car, now."

"I think I'm going to fuck you against this car. It seems more exciting to me.” He said thrusting his hand between your legs and stroking your clit over your pants. You moaned and pressed your nails around his neck, because the only thing you needed now was his dick inside you. “It looks like you're enjoying the caresses.”

“You have no idea, Jungkook.”

“(Y/N)!” Taehyung's voice caught your eye and you and Jungkook looked away, seeing your friend walking towards you. He looked at Jungkook from top to bottom, frowning before looking back at you and throwing his hands up as he stood beside the car.

“What the fuck are you doing out here? I looked for you everywhere. I was worried.”

“She is with me. You have nothing to worry about.” Jungkook replied staring Taehyung that stared back.

"And who the hell are you?"

“This is Jungkook, we met at the pub...”

“And you thought it would be a good idea to come to a dark, empty place with a guy you just met, (Y/N)? Are you crazy?” He didn’t even let you finish speaking before giving the sermon. You opened your mouth to answer, but he held up his hand to signal you to remain silent. “Let's just go back inside and get Joy. We are leaving.” He then turned his back and started walking toward the Pub.

“What if I don’t want to leave?” You asked standing up. Taehyung stopped abruptly and turned to you with frowns, as if he had not understood what you had said. “What if I want to stay for a few more hours? You will force me to go with you?”

“What the hell are you talking about? You said yourself that you didn’t want to come here, that this pub was full of junkies and violent people, but three seconds ago you were letting this stranger get his hand on your body.” He said loudly, almost screaming.

“Yes, I'm letting this stranger touch my body, and yes, I didn’t want to come here, but I came because you wanted me to, and now that I'm having fun you want me to leave?” You answered it in the same tone of voice. Jungkook leaned against the car and folded his arms, watching Taehyung's next actions, he was ready to intervene if necessary.

“Guys, why did you leave me alone in there?” Joy appeared out of nowhere, hugging her body because of the chill of dawn. Her hair was tousled and she had no more lipstick in her mouth. “Can we leave? I'm tired.”

“Sure, we're going.” Taehyung said without taking his eyes off of you as Joy entered the convertible. He was waiting for you to do the same, but instead you took two steps back approaching Jungkook and crossing your arms.

"You can go, I will not go now." You said, and even though it was dim, you knew Taehyung's face was red at that moment.

"I will not leave you alone here …"

"I'm not alone, I'm with Jungkook, and you don’t boss me, Taehyung. I'll leave when I want.”

He was annoyed, irritated, ever since Taehyung knew you, he had this protective spirit, he felt he had to protect you and when he couldn’t, he felt helpless, and that made him furious. Taehyung glanced toward Jungkook, who was in the same position as before, but now he had a more serious look on his face, and stared at Taehyung as if challenging him to say something.

"If you hurt her, I swear I'll come after you."

Jungkook let out a loud laugh, throwing his head back and chuckling at the boy's failed attempt to intimidate him.

“Yeah, yeah, just go, bro. Stop embarrassing yourself.” He said, waving his hand at the boy who took one last look at you before getting in the car and getting out of there. You took a deep breath, hated fighting with your friends but you was tired of always living for other people. You wanted to live for you now.

Reminding that Jungkook was still there, you stared at him with cheeks burning, ashamed that he had witnessed it all.

“I'm sorry... That ended the whole mood." You said putting your hand on your neck and looking away from him.

“It's okay, don’t worry.” He said holding her chin and making her look at him. He was smiling carefree, as if it hadn’t done effect on him. "There's a snack bar two blocks from here. We can go there, have a milk shake and eat something. Then I'll take you home. Or I can call you a taxi if you prefer.”

“I'll take the Milk Shake." You said smiling at him. "But only if it's chocolate."

It had been four months since you met Jungkook, and every opportunity you had to get out of that school and go somewhere else with him, you did. With that, you ended up moving away from your friends because even though you could only use the cell phone once a week for fifteen minutes, Jungkook had bought a new one for you so you could communicate with him, so all your free time, dinner, breaks, you were talking to him.

"What are you doing here, you freak?" You whispered laughing at the sight of the boy leaning against the wall behind the school building, waiting for you. He smoked a cigarette and was relaxed as usual. It was almost five in the afternoon when you received his message, saying that he would be waiting for you behind the building, on the north side of the school, where you used to go to jump over the walls without being caught. One of the only places that wasn’t monitored by cameras. "If they catch you here, you'll be arrested."

"They will not catch me." He said holding your waist and pulling you close to him. “Besides, you worth the risks.” Then he kissed you, a calm, passionate kiss. He dropped his cigarette on the floor and used both hands to hold your face and caress it at the same time. "I missed you." He said between the kiss, lowering one hand to your waist and squeezing it. He bit your lip, making the fire inside you burn.

"Me too." You whispered as he slowly turned his body, placing you back against the wall, lowering one hand to your thigh and lifting it, placing it on his waist. "But I don’t have much time. In fifteen minutes I need to be in the gym." You said as his kisses touched your neck, causing you to roll your eyes and hold yourself so you didn’t moan.

“So I have to make you cum fast." He said putting his hand between your legs, inside your panties, caressing your clitoris that was already swollen and soaked with your juice. You gasped and grabbed Jungkook's arm, preventing him from moving. He looked at you with a sassy look, waiting for you to say something.

"You know I can’t be silent. Someone will catch us."

"No one will get us, baby. Don’t you trust me?"

"With my life." You answered without hesitation, and he smiled, leaning forward and kissing you. Then he kissed your cheek, your ear, your neck, your breasts over your T-shirt, until he knelt in front of you and gave you a wicked look before lifting your thigh and placing on his shoulder, lifting your skirt, pulling your panties to side and start to eat you out. You immediately covered your mouth and threw your head back, your body shuddering as you felt Jungkook's tongue caressing the full extent of your cunt. Your other hand went into Jungkook's hair and you moved your hips against his mouth, unable to control yourself. You needed to come.

“You're so sweet.” He whispered against your clit and his tongue licked again, spurring you even more as he stared into your eyes.  His free hand gripped one of your thighs, increasing the strength he used and the speed of his tongue. You felt your cunt pulsing, You was reaching the apex. Jungkook seemed to focus on one specific point, which made you let out a hoarse groan and finally cum as the spasms spread through my body.  You closed your eyes as you felt his tongue wandering around your entrance, sucking all your juice. Your mind cleared, your muscles relaxed and you felt good.

He stood up and kissed you, hugging your still shaking body.

"I love you," you whispered as he let you lean your forehead against his chest. Jungkook smiled and stroked your hair. That was the first time you'd said that.

"I know." He said and you laughed punching his arm and moving away from him. He laughed and took a step back.

"Idiot, I'm serious."

"Me too." He laughed approaching again and using his large hands to hold your face. And then he looked serious and stared your eyes with the same intensity he had whenever he looked into the depths of you, as if he looked at your soul. “I love you too, my lady.” And he kissed you again. "And I want to see you tonight."

"Same time?" You asked with closed eyes, delighting in the short, slow kisses he gave in your lips.

"Yes, I'll be waiting."

"Okay, now go, or you'll get us both in trouble." You said pushing him away. Jungkook looked indignantly at you.

"You use me and now you throw me away. Women are all the same." You laughed at his failed attempt to be innocent. You gave him a quick kiss.

"See you later, asshole." And so you turned away. Jungkook watched you walk away.

"I cannot wait for this."

You were in love with him in a way you couldn’t explain, you thought about him all day, wanted him all day. You wanted to be with him all the time, because Jungkook was intense, he was relentless, he gave you life, and that was what you loved him the most.

Everything was going well until the day you were discovered by school security. You and Jungkook were in the car, a few yards from the entrance of the school, you were on his lap in the backseat, rolling in his lap and kissing him when a strong light struck your face and you two looked to the side, seeing one of the school security guards there, knocking at the door and ordering you to get out.

That was weird. The security guards only patrolled the perimeter of the school, the gates and walls inside, there was no way they knew you were there. And your suspicions were confirmed when the same security officer said that someone had made an anonymous denunciation of an out-of-school student. And you were already sure who did it.

The security guard woke the principal to tell him what had happened, and he said with a furious expression that he would talk to you the next morning. When you reached the bedroom, Joy was asleep on her stomach in bed. You could wake her up and question why she had told them about your hang out with Jungkook. but if you did, you would yell at her and wake up the entire dorm, putting you in even more trouble, so you waited the next morning.

“Why did you do that? I thought you were my friend. Why did you tell him? "You asked the girl who was confused by both her drowsiness and your questions.

“I told you I didn’t say anything, (Y/N). I swear. The only person I told was Taehyung, because he wouldn’t stop asking where you were and I had to tell him, but I swear it was only for him.”

It was when you connected the points, if she didn’t say anything and only told Taehyung, then he was the only one who could have told the security. You knew he had some anger at Jungkook, but you didn’t understand why. Of all the time you studied there, those were the happiest months of your life, so why would he ruin it?

You turned your back on Joy and left the room already wearing your school clothes, heading toward the men's dormitory where girls were barred, but you were already really screwed, so you just don’t give a fuck.

As soon as you reached the bedroom door, you punched it hard until a sleepy, irritated Taehyung opened the door. The moment he saw you there, his face softened, but after seeing your condition, he knew he had fucked it all up.

“(Y/N)...”

"Why did you do that?" You asked before you let him make an excuse. He sighed and left the room closing the door behind him.

“Look, I'll give you my reasons, but it has to be later. You need to get out of here, if the monitors catch you ...”

“No, Taehyung, I want to know now.” You raised your voice. “Why the hell do you hate Jungkook so much? Why do you want me to break up with him? And why the hell did you tell the security guard that I was with him last night? Are you aware of what this will cause to me?”

"I don’t trust that guy…"

“You don’t have to trust him, you asshole, I have, he's my boyfriend, not yours.” You screamed furiously, your face turning red. “Stop intruding on my life and make the decisions for me, Taehyung!”

"(Y/N), he can be dangerous." He shouted back and some of the students left their rooms, curious to know what was happening. “Look, I've been researching, asking some people, and he might be involved in drug trafficking and even murder. Many people on the north side of the city are afraid to even pass near him because they say he is extremely violent.”

"You went out asking questions about my boyfriend? Throughout the city?" You asked, taking a step back, not believing what you were hearing. “You must be kidding me.”

“Yeah, I did it. I needed to keep you safe ...”

“No Taehyung! You needed to keep me single for one day finally build up the courage and say you like me.” You screamed furiously toward him. Taehyung was paralyzed, his eyes wide for a few moments, simply without reaction or words for that moment. “You want me single because you want me for you and you don’t want me to be someone else's.”

“Where you...”

“Joy told me." You interrupted him and he was pale. “I hadn’t believed in the beginning, because to me you were only treating me as your best friend, but now I understand that you want me to break up with Jungkook to stay with you, but this will not happen Taehyung, because what I feel for him, I will never feel for you.” You hissed bitterly. You were so hurt with him that you wanted him to get hurt too, and from his gaze, you had managed to do that.

“You shouldn’t be here, young lady." The dorm monitor, who was also a student, said, and you turned to him in disgust.

“Fuck you." You exclaimed and turned away, heading to the stairs and out of there. As soon as you stepped into the garden and walked toward the women's building, one of the students said that the Principal was looking for you. You sighed and went to the principal's office, hesitating to go in because you knew what would happen from then on.

As you entered the room, you were surprised to see your father sitting in the armchair in front of the boardroom table. He was red, the expression on his face was the same as he used have when cursed you and blame you for everything bad in his life, but this time he seemed to be sober.

You sat in the armchair beside him, not daring to look at him, just listening to what the principal had to say. He said that your behavior was unacceptable, that leaving school out of the allowed hours was against the rules and dating as well. He quoted everything he had to say and said that he wouldn’t just kick you out because you was a good student and had the best grades but would suspend you for a week. He allowed his father to take you home that week, and he just nodded, not saying a word to the principal.

Once you were released, the principal said you should go to your room and pack your bags, and so you did. You and your father walked side by side until you got to your room. When you opened the door, he pushed you tightly inside, making you lose your balance and fall on your knees on the floor.

“It was for that I sent you here?” He screamed, slamming the door behind him and advancing against you who had no chance to defend yourself when he grabbed your hair and pulled you violently up, making you moan with pain. “Did you come here to fuck with thugs? Hmm?” He threw you violently against the bed, banging your back against the wall and your head on the headboard. "You're a bitch just like your mother."

“This is not true.” You said it trembling, forcing yourself to sit and brush your hair off your face, trying not to stutter, but then you fell back down when he hit your face with a slap, throwing you back on the bed, making you scream and not hold back the tears.

“Shut your fucking mouth. You're never going to change, it's always going to be this bitch that only brings me problems. What is the difficulty of you not getting into trouble, (Y/N)? Do you have any mental problems that keep you from being rational?” He screamed and you cried, with your hand on the cheek that he had hit the slap, curled in the bed. “Do you think it's fun to go out there doing shit so I have to fix it later?”

“Dad...” You started to speak, but he grabbed your arm, squeezing it hard, lifting you brutally, making you even more desperate to see the furious look in his eyes. You had never seen him so violent. He'd never leaned a finger against you to hurt you, so why was he doing it now?

“You and I have a lot to talk about this week, you whore. So you better stop crying and start packing your bag before I lose my patience and drag you out of here by the hair, without any belongings.” He said between his teeth and pushed you back to the floor once more. So he turned his back and left the room, slamming the door behind him and you shrank on the floor, crying, feeling the pain in your body and in your heart. Why was that happening? You had done nothing to deserve it. Why did he seem to hate you so much? What had you done to him?

The cell phone that Jungkook had given you, began to vibrate beneath your pillow, and you knew that at that moment, he was the only one you wanted to talk to. You raised your arm and reached under your pillow, answering the phone, sniffling and sobbing.

“Love, what happened?” He asked from the other end of the line and listening to his voice only made you cry even more. Your chest was aching, you felt lonely, helpless and certainly in danger. “(Y/N), why are you crying? What is happening? Where are you?” He started bombarding you with questions and you could hear his keys on the other side.

“Jungkook.” You only managed to say his name before breaking into tears again. You heard the car door slamming across the line.

“It’s okay, baby, I’m coming to you. Stay where you are, okay? I’ll come to you. Don’t worry, don’t cry, your Jungkook is coming.” He said and before you could try to say something, or that he could hang up, your dad came screaming back into the room, making you scream too and crawl away from him, squeezing the phone between your fingers, afraid he'd take away the only thing that was giving you security at that moment.

“Who are you talking to, you slut? I told you to pack your things.” He yelled as he yanked the cell phone out of your hand, making you moan at the force he used, hurting your wrist. You were desperate and could hardly breathe, your body was shaking too much for you to react so you just started screaming for help and cringed once more. You were horrified at everything that was going on, scared, confused, and just wanted your father to get away from you. He looked at the phone screen, seeing that the call was still active. “Are you the thug who was eating my daughter, your bastard?” The only thing he could hear from the other side was the sound of the car moving, followed by Jungkook’s cold voice.

“You are dead.”

So the call dropped and at the same moment, two security guards who had heard your screams entered the bedroom, then pulled your father away from you, who started protesting in shouts that they should let him go. As they walked away from the room, you finally breathed again and stood up, legs trembling, hugging your body and walking slowly out of the room where some of the girls began to appear and looked wide-eyed at you.

“Oh my god, (Y/N).” Joy approached you, intending to hug you, but you pulled away from her, holding the cry again, a lump forming in your throat. As you walked down the stairs, with all the female dormitory students looking at you, you could hear your father's screams from the security guards outside the building. As soon as you left, the students watching your father now looked at you. Among them was Taehyung who had wide eyes and put his hand to his mouth, horrified. He didn’t hesitate to move toward you, to comfort you, but you pushed him hard back.

“This is all your fault.” You shouted with all your strength to him, making his eyes fill with water.

“(Y/N)...” He started to speak, but the Mustang's engine roar could be heard, and you looked at the road through the forest, watching Jungkook's car come in with everything, knocking over the guardrails of the secondary gate and skidding on the wet garden grass. He stormed out of the car, slamming the door and striding toward the crowd at the foot of the staircase. He had fists clenched and a killer look in his eyes. You had never seen him like that, and honestly, he was scaring you. As his eyes hit yours, he frowned and ran toward you, just as you did, burying yourself in his chest, tearing into tears once more. Jungkook pressed you against his chest and stroked your hair as his eyes scanned the place, trying to identify who had done that to you. That was when he saw the man shouting at the security guards, his voice the same as the man on the phone. He seemed to be blind at the moment.

Jungkook released your body, making you open your eyes, missing his embrace and passed among the students, shoving them all violently away from his way, before approaching the security guards who were on their backs, distracted trying to contain their father, and overtook them, hitting the man's nose with a sharp punch that fell immediately on his back.

The security guards tried to hold Jungkook, but he managed to knock them down too.

“Do you think you can hurt her and not get punished for it, you fucking asshole?” He screamed in a menacing voice, making everyone step back. He then hit a kick in his stomach, making him moan in pain and you cover his mouth, stiffing a scream. “I'll teach you to never touch what is mine.”

And before he could strike another blow, Taehyung stepped in front of him, pushing him back. Jungkook didn’t hesitate to advance against Taehyung as well, and the two began to roll on the floor, exchanging punches and blows. And most of the time, it was Jungkook who hit him. He stood over Taehyung, immobilizing him with his legs, holding him tightly by the neck and began to strike blows against his face.

"Jungkook." You called for him and he stopped his fist in the air, looking over his shoulder at you. You were scared, destroyed. You'd never seen him be so violent with anyone, so that scene was shocking.

He took a deep breath, as if controlling his killer instinct, and stood up, walking on his back for a few seconds, watching the fallen men on the floor, before turning and approaching you, wrapping his arms around your back and beneath your legs, carrying you toward the car where he put you in the passenger seat and got in, driving away from there.

The way to his house was quiet, he did not say a word and you did not either. You were too shaken to say anything. In your head, the images of your father beating you and Jungkook spanking Taehyung looped in your head and that made you wonder if you could trust him, if he would not do you, the same as he did with others.

As he parked in front of the house, he was the first to leave the car and opened the door for you, holding out his hand and waiting for you to pick it up. Still sobbing, you held his and got out of the car, being guided by him inside. You then paused for a moment, not knowing what to do.

"Baby." Jungkook stood behind you, hugging you from behind and placing his chin propped on your shoulder. It was strange how with him, you calm down easily, even after what had happened.

"I want to take a shower." You whispered and he nodded, releasing you. You then walked to the bathroom and leaned against the door. You took off your clothes, feeling the pain in your body, and tossing them to the floor. You turned on the shower and went under the warm water. Still not believing what was happening, you started to cry, sliding to the floor, sitting down, cowering and crying compulsively. Lamenting everything. And without even realizing it, Jungkook was joining you, still in his clothes, sitting down beside you and pulling you into his lap, letting you cry as the water washed away your tears of pain and betrayal.

“It's okay, baby.” He whispered to you, kissing the top of your forehead, staring at the wall in front of him with dark, menacing eyes. "He'll never hurt you again, I promise.”

all rights reserved © katebacks | 2018/2019 — no reposting and/or modifying of any form on any medium is allowed. no translations allowed.

[zairehyun-blog]

do ask memes :o

ALL OF THEM!? ON THE ENTIRE WEBSITE!? no but since i love you i will ~

Halloween asks : done

‘Let’s get personal’: done

Sweet asks:

vanilla - how has your week been?

An honest to god mess, but that’s okay. It’ll get better soon~

chocolate - what do you crave right now?

Attention.

red velvet - what type of music do you like?

All tbh

ice cream - if you were an animal, what kind would you be?

I WOULD BE RILAKKUMA (u may be like zaire that’s not an animal. shhh let me be rilakkuma)

cake - describe your ideal location

like.. im just gonna say what i consider home

new zealand or osaka 💫

mocha - what are three things that make you feel warm inside?

my bby

the stars

writing abt my day at night

frosting - describe your appearance

uhm Mmmm i don’t know how i would.

marshmallow - do you sleep with plushies? if so, which are your favorites?

I DO INDEED i sleep with my moomin

sorbet - describe an ideal summer day

Going on adventures ;; especially car rides n stuff like that ✨

butterscotch - describe an ideal autumn day

going outside and walking around and the cold wind n i m happy it’s autumn 🍂

caramel - describe an ideal winter day

DRINKING HOT CHOCOLATE AND WATCHING TV IN AN OVERSIZED SWEATER WHILE IT SNOWS AND THEN GOING OUTSIDE TO PLAY IN THE SNOW ❄️

pecan - describe an ideal spring day

sitting outside n just enjoying all the flowers c”:

mint - what’s new in your life?

my bby

pie - “home is where…”

he is

macaroon - list three things you feel inspired to do

draw again

to cosplay

2 mAKE HOT CHOCOLATE NOW

Send me a number:

1: where are you from?

I was born in London but I was raised in New Zealand

2: how old are you?

I’m 18

3: when is your birthday?

March 13th

4: what is your favorite music genre?

It all depends on my mood

5: religious?

Yes

6: do you believe in ghosts?

Yes

7: would you want to be immortal?

Yes and no, I would hate to lose everyone who isn’t but I would love to see how the world will evolve idk

8: favorite book?

Alice in Wonderland

9: favorite song?

MIC DROP ASJGHSD

10: favorite band/singer?

I have too many but between bts and exo :3

11: sexual preference?

Indifferent to gender

12: virgin? If not, how old were you when you had sex for the first time?

No & 16

13: do you drink, if yes, tell me what?

Nah.

14: do you smoke?

No

15: ever did drugs?

No

16: ever visit a festival?

Yes

17: do you have pets? tell me about them!

I have 2 cats ✨

Ayumu & Kiyoshi

18: how many countries have you been to?

A lot , my dads travel 2 much

19: do you speak another language besides english? If yes, write a sentence in that language!

Korean - 안녕 사랑해!

Japanese - やあ、君を愛している！

and Arabic - مرحبا انا احبك!

They all say Hi, I love you! C:

20: vegan, vegetarian or meat eater?

21: be creative! write a short story about something that comes into your mind!

ASGIJSDHKJf i hate

one day we all heard zayn left the band and it was the worst day ever like they had a song called the best day ever no bitch this is the worst day ever and we all went 2 bed and it was all a mutual dream we all had (WTF WAS THIS ASKJGHKSD)

22: put your iPod on shuffle and tell me the first 10 songs

i don’t have my phone near me either

23: grab the nearest book and give me the last sentence of page 124

I have no books near me....

24: tell me about your crush

i’m answering his ask

25: any weird habits?

If i get scared i start sucking on the back of my thumb

26: ever been rude to a teacher?

Yeah

27: ever talked to yourself?

I always do...

28: extrovert or introvert?

In the middle

29: the most embarrassing moment in your life?

WHEN MY DAD GOT DRUNK AND STARTED FLIRTING wITH MY OTHER DAD AND WAS LIKE “u single”

and my other dad said “no.” and MY daD cRIEd AJHKGDS

30: what keeps you going?

🍯 you c: 🍯

31: ever thought about suicide?

Always

32: do you suffer from a mental illness?

Yeah

33: I'm bored, tell me something funny that happened to you!

I once fell down a flight of stairs because I thought someone was walking up them and I wanted to beat them, but like as I was falling I realised I was walking downstairs and no one was there.

34: your 5 favorite blogs

1. @spook-hyun

2. @lucidyeol

3. @hosvoks

4. @ultchen

5. any suggestion blog tbqh

35: 10 facts about yourself

1. I can bend my pinky all the way back lmao

2. It took me one night to learn Korean :’)

3. I’m a self taught artist

4. the first cat I ever had, I randomly found and I nursed him back to health and he never left me C:

5. I used to want to be a vet/or just someone around animals at all times

6. I used to live by the ocean and yet i’m lowkey afraid of it askJGHKSD

7. I started this blog as a safe space ✨

8. I have a twin sister who’s older than me by a minute

9. I have a younger sister who still calls me her little brother....

10. i’m madly in love

36: 3 things you like about yourself

Nothing

37: 3 things you hate about yourself

Everything

38: biggest turn on?

AHEH IM NOT DISCLOSING THAT I have a stalker who’s gonna try shit so no

29: biggest turn off?

someone who’s controlling. ;e; like i get if you’re like warning me abt something but if you’re like thisthen yeah fuck off.

30: when did you join tumblr?

January 2014

Luxury Asks:

bubble bath: do you have any routines before bedtime? like skin care, etc. what are they?

AHA YALL READY FOR THIS

I wash my face n then i brush my teeth and then i put lotion on and i change and then i drink green tea and watch anime lmao and that’s it

champagne: what topic could you talk about for hours?

You

crushed velvet: have you ever used your charm to get something you want?

AHEH HOW DO U THINK I GOT HYUN

diamonds: how do you feel about excessively spending money?

I mean, if it’s for a shopping spree for good reason (like u got cheated on and are trying to make yourself happy) then yeah, but if you do it everyday then no

faux fur: describe your wardrobe.

lots of oversized sweaters and jeans and cosplay outfits

glitter: describe someone special to you.

His eyes look like honey when the sun shines on them and every time it happens I fall in love

gold: describe what you would call the most perfect meal.

mY DADS KIMCHI COME FOR ME

jazz: name a song that resonates with you and your emotions. explain the reason why.

Go go because 

“I want to be cruisin’ on the bayI want to be cruisin’ like NemoNo money but I wanna go far awayI don’t have money but I wanna relaxNo money but I wanna eat Jiro Ono’s sushi

Worked hard to get my payGonna spend it all on my stomachPinching pennies to spend it all on wasting itLeave me be, even if I overspendEven if I break apart my savings tomorrowLike a crazy guy”

lace: what is something in your life completely different from last year?

My happiness

lingerie: do you consider yourself a promiscuous person?

If I remember the definition correctly 

kinda? but I stopped being that way

lipstick: do you enjoy talking to strangers?

n...no not at all lmAO unless it’s like at a comic con or something like that then yeah

pearls: what's something about your personality that surprises others?

I open up to people when I feel comfortable with them, like, I seem really shy and reserved but I open up to everyone I meet as long as I’m comfortable. 

penthouse: what would you consider your dream home? describe it.

AAAH my old house

perfume: if you could make your own signature fragrance, what would it smell like?

Ironically my cologne is really strong but it’s not so strong you’re like *dies inside*, it’s like, it’s strong so you remember it and if you smell it somewhere, you’re like “Zaire?”

robe: how do you prepare for an evening alone with a loved one/date?

I HYPE MYSELF UP AND THEN I GET READY LMAO

roses: If it had to be winter, autumn, spring or summer for the rest of your life, which would you choose?

AUTUMN AUTUMN AUTUMN LIKE 

AUTUMN ABT TO TURN WINTER YES

satin: what is your most favorite article of clothing?

this oversized as FUcK black sweater that says “fuck off” in japanese on the sleeves asghsdjkfl 

sheet mask: what's your favorite lazy activity?

drinking tea while watching anime

silk: do you have more inner or outer beauty?

Inner

silver: do you have any obscure hobbies? what are they?

I’ll draw on the wall and then i’ll paint over it??? unless i rlly rlly like it

sparkling water: what are your top three songs for the summer?

ew summer

wine: what kind of drunk are you (happy/affectionate, angry, sad, fun/wild)? if you don't drink, what kind do you think you WOULD be?

Well, 

one dad acts all normal and like he’s not drunk and he makes perfect sense and he’s fully aware of everything and can walk perfectly and cook

my biological dad on the other hand is all emotional and affectionate n happy n soft lMAO so i guess i’d be like my biological dad

wow bby i hope you enjoyed this

[fe-li-ci-ti-es]

12.18 life update

I’ve decided to start a sort of journal on here to reflect on every day

So right now I’m sitting in case dining hall and it’s the last day of the semester. My friend Wendy sent me a picture of her adorable cat and that’s the best thing to happen so far today. I’m going home with Colette later tonight and I have mixed feelings. I don’t enjoy being at home anymore -- I just don’t like being around my Mom and Dad which is very sad to say. They still try to tell me what to do and the latest topic of contention is my housing situation for next year. I will try to focus on the good moments, like watching movies with my Mom or going shopping with her. Her anxiety and her mood swings really stress me out but my goal is to not let that get to me! I feel like I entered my “teen rebellion phase” this summer-- a few years too late lol. I’ve really embraced being independent and making my own decisions no matter what anyone thinks. I have not really cared about my reputation this semester and I think that was influenced by Oliver. I went into this semester with the intention of making memories and I succeeded! Most of them are awesome and I made a lot of new friends, but I did make some poor decisions. I know that people in my frat talk (as evidenced by Madison asking if I had a thing with Gibson) and I feel that I am starting to get a reputation as a promiscuous person, which is entirely true and deserved. I want to change that next semester. I am done with dating apps and Colette has pointed out that I need to be okay with being single. I know I need to stop prioritizing boys and start putting myself first. Boys are replaceable but friends and myself will always be there. There is one boy that I am truly interested in but he says he isn’t ready for a relationship. I don’t want to put myself out there anymore for him - if he is interested then he will hit me up. I think I am going to get hurt by him. I really want him to be my date for new years, but if that doesn’t happen then I will still have a good time with my friends (if my parents let me take the car to raleigh). And, I don’t need a date for new years. I bought this cute dress with the intention of wearing it because I was hardcore looking for a new years date. But I don’t need a new years kiss and I don’t need validation from a boy -- I should just be having fun with the people who actually matter in my life. Furthermore, this is my first semester drinking in college. I actually had a goal to get extremely wasted to see what it was like (lol, def not the smartest goal but I was curious). Honestly, it’s not that awesome and I end up sending snapchats that I regret and I feel like a fool the next day. The old Allison was right to not drink. I think I can settle for having a few drinks in moderation. I think that my sense of self -worth was redefined this semester. I decided that being attractive to men was important. Is that really what I want going forward? Of course I want to find a decent boyfriend but that isn’t my only goal in life. And yes, I just said boyfriend. I think I’m ready to settle down for 1 guy. I’ve had enough fun. Honestly, all of these first dates/hookups/random makeouts have just left me feeling empty, like none of it matters. I want an emotional connection (and I think I found that in Alex, the guy I was talking about earlier, but I need to be cautious). So my goal for next semester is to definitely focus more on school and my friends and my own health. I felt so shitty after this weekend, emotionally and physically, which caused me to stress eat and purge. Furthermore, my roommate was mad at me because this is the second time I’ve woken her up at 3 am -- and I just don’t want to be that bad of a roommate anymore. Tomorrow is Brian’s birthday so I was thinking of wishing him a happy birthday. But I’ve found out that he has blocked me on facebook. I already knew that he had blocked me on snapchat, but this is the second time he has unfriended me and now he has blocked me? First of all, I wonder when he did that - maybe it was after the snapchat that andrea posted on her story. Second of all, what an asshole. I wonder if he has also blocked my number too but I don’t plan on testing that. After all of the happy memories we have shared together, he is so selfish for blocking me and acting like nothing ever happened between us. He has always been extremely emotionally sensitive and I know this is just another tactic of his to make me feel guilty for leaving him. He wrote me that horrible letter in september that selfishly asked me to change my blog url because “he couldn’t stop checking it.” I did change it, because I felt bad for him. And to think that I have been saying hi to him when I see him around our of respect for what we had! Obviously he wishes he could erase the whole three years with me. And in that letter he revealed what a jealous person he was - he said there were so many times that he had to bite his tongue when I told him I was hanging out with my guy friends. He never wanted me to have male friends. He also had to put in how he was such a great boyfriend and how he would give me back rubs and sneak out even when he didn’t want to. Wow, I feel like I am just wasting my time by thinking about him right now. There was one moment in the fall when I started to miss him, but I think I just missed being in a relationship. Anyways, I have been also thinking about my long time best friend Daniel. I feel guilty because I said I would see him. And I talked about visiting him in LA and last weekend would have been the time that I would have been there. Now he has a girlfriend so it worked out that I didn’t go there. But I still miss him and I have always wanted to act on the tension between us -- but if it’s meant to happen, it will happen. I really just want to call him and talk about what’s been happening in my life, but I have changed so much since high school and I fear it will change his opinion of me (he’s not an angel either though). I feel a great sense of catharsis by typing all of this out. Also, my life philosophy has just changed in general. I have realized that achieving great grades and success should not be traded for friendships. True, this semester I should have focused more on my grades. But, as cheesy as this sounds, it’s the connections and memories that I’ve made that truly make me happy. I think that next semester I should put my self-worth in my grades and my photography and my music and my friends. And that’s a wrap for now.