#he existed for at least a year and a half before killing a single person

[victorian-vampir]

Hey.

Jekyll and Hyde is not about a DID system (it's about duality of mankind and repression)

Grizabella was not shunned from the jellicle cats because she was a sex worker (We don't know why she was shunned because it's not important. Also she's a cat, how the fuck is she a sex worker when she's a cat. Promiscuity is not an issue for the clan regardless.)

Victor Frankenstein is not at fault for his monster leaving. (He stood in his back garden for six hours waiting for the sun to rise before going for a walk. When he got back to his house the monster had left)

There are multiple interpretations of text and stories. However there's also times where the text blatantly spells out what it's try to say. Or it doesn't. And you end up with a cat who maybe did sex work and I have no idea how.

[valle-de-sombra-de-muerte]

Homestuck Reread: Act 4, Part 3/4 (p. 1669-1864)

Read the previous post here.

The second half of Act 4 starts here. And oh fuck no, it's the introduction of Hussie's self-insert.

Yes, it is a terrible idea. This whole bit should've died right here.

Hussie proceeds to recap the entire first year of Homestuck which really is just a big waste of time to read. If you're really lost about what's going on, you should just read all my reread posts up to this point instead! Which... actually isn't ideal because I'm not really writing a comprehensive plot summary here. This series of posts is mostly aimed toward people who are already familiar with Homestuck and have read it before. If you tried showing these to someone who has never read the comic before, they'll likely be confused. Err, fuck it, let's move on!

John is rightfully reluctant to listen to Terezi again. He typically shows resistance to commands only when they might put him in life-threatening danger. And since he finally decides to believe Dave's warnings, this counts as one of those situations.

I forgot to mention this in the last post, but Davesprite and Terezi's conversation was the first time "jegus" is used. Some people seem to think that this is the name of a troll analogue to Jesus, but really it's an in-joke between Dave and Terezi that gradually disseminates through their respective friend groups.

John's adversity shatters and he decides to start listening to Terezi again. It really didn't take much for her to convince him to do this. This is hardly portraying Terezi as some kind of "master manipulator." It's just another instance of John being a gullible moron.

Also, this will be the last conversation between John and Terezi until Act 6. Her conversations with the humans will be exclusively limited to Dave until that point. I guess she wasn't so serious about being John's "pal" after all.

Bro what do you mean you decide to name him? That's Rose's cat. You can't go into someone's house and rename their pets.

I do like that Davesprite immediately points out how dumb it was that John decided to listen to Terezi again.

John is such a massive fucking cunt. He's really going to disrespect the guy who saved his life like that? Even apart from that, that's his best friend, or at least supposedly.

Davesprite's reaction is entirely justified here. He's supplying John with useful info, only to be met with disinterested responses and being told to fuck off in favor of the other Dave. I really think "ok" is John's catchphrase, even moreso than Aradia's. Pretty much every time someone tries to talk to him about the game is met with him going "oh ok" or "wow ok" like some kind of spongehead.

This conversation is notable because Dave's entire persona is centered on being detached, aloof, and "cool" but here Davesprite sounds genuinely pissed. He doesn't even care about maintaining the facade because his "best friend" just revealed he doesn't even see him as a person worth talking to.

Dave thinks he can speak on Davesprite's behalf, which he's definitely not qualified to do. He spent four months living in a pointless reality offshoot with the full knowledge that everything in it is a mistake that needs to be rectified. Rose, the one person he had for company in that timeline, had to be essentially killed in order to fix the timeline. And even if there's still a Rose that currently exists, that single version of Rose he spent all those months together with was still destroyed by his actions. Her blood is on his hands.

All this is to say he's definitely not the same person as current Dave. They may share the same memories and past experiences, but everything Davesprite experienced past the point of divergence is uniquely his. He's his own individual.

That "yeah" right before signing off cuts deep. He is sick of John's shit. Not that I imagine John would notice at all.

Davesprite might be the most tragic character in this godforsaken story. Having Rose's death weighing on his conscious, being forced to mutate himself into a ghostly half-bird monstrosity, letting another version of himself live out the rest of "his" life. He did it all for the sake of making sure his friends have a future to live in, but said friends don't respect him or even like talking to him. To them, he's an extraneous copy of their existing friend. He isn't "real."

And the sad thing is that it's not just his friends who think that. Hussie didn't give a shit about him either. Wouldn't it have been crazy if this conflict was explored and Davesprite was a bigger presence in the story? If he was actually acknowledged as part of the team and the other kids had to learn to stop treating him as "the other Dave"

Well too bad because for one thing, Hussie cannot write convincing conflict. If two characters don't like each other, they simply ignore each other and don't speak. So instead of Davesprite being a ever-present source of awkward tension within the group, he's downgraded to an impotent background character. Tough shit, Orange Dave.

Oh yeah, the less said about Davesprite's ultimate end, the better. What a fucking travesty.

Dave really wants John to snoop around Rose's belongings. The little freak. At least he stops short of asking John to rummage through her underwear drawer.

Technically one of the journals does contain "important game stuff" but Dave doesn't know that. I bet he just wants to know if she wrote about him in her journal.

Dave is putting more effort into invading Rose's privacy than just about anything else prior to this point. Obsessed much?

My god, that "come hither" expression. Things are about to get steamy on Derse.

"Whipping Bugwinged Fuckall" is an amazing Kanaya quote.

Oh look, Sollux's first appearance. He and Kanaya should've talked more. It almost feels like they're co-workers and he's the guy she bugs for IT support. It's a fun dynamic.

Also, I guess Alternia has sex offender registries, which makes no sense. I feel like you'd get straight up killed by the drones for much less.

No I didn't leave this page open while the entirety of "Derse Dreamers" played. That would be silly. Also when I said things were gonna get "steamy" I obviously meant they'd get all sweaty from dancing. Jeez, what'd you think I meant? 😇

Cal is kicked out of the party for being a cockblock.

What are these "shenanigans" Davesprite engaged in to get the hammer from Hephaestus? Fuck if we'll ever find out.

Even though the two kingdoms are fated to fight each other and yadda yadda, there doesn't seem to be much enmity between them. WV is able to unify everyone with little effort.

[S] WV?: Rise Up is certainly a flash that exists. It serves as a follow-up to [S] Jack: Ascend, which I also wasn't really too enthused about. I didn't spend much time talking about it in the last post because I couldn't think of anything to comment about it. Which is strange, because you'd think the big flash to celebrate the comic's one year anniversary, as well as the one that introduces the story's main antagonist, would be a bigger spectacle.

But there's no action, no cool shots like in previous flashes, and ultimately Jack's "ascension" comes from the stupid bunny shit and not from any action on his part. The only real highlight of that flash is the killer tune that is "Black". Apart from that, it pales in comparison to previous flashes in the comic. Much of the same can be said about this one. At least "Skaian Skirmish" is a cool track.

When does this ever have a use? Just like with John, the only point of this whole alchemizing montage is to create a new outfit, computer, and weapon for Rose. The rest of these creations are useless junk.

I mention a new outfit, but the true irony is that the kids' best outfits (John's Vriska jacket, Rose's black dress, Dave's raglan shirt, and Jade's uhh... God Tier dress?) aren't even a part of these montages. For the first three, they're all acquired off-screen and we don't even know the recipes for them.

Trailing right behind Rose's montage, Dave gets his as well. Again, nothing of true value gets made here. These montages feel like Hussie padding out the page count. Seriously, who actually enjoys these parts of the comic?

The alchemiter can potentially create body parts, albeit at an exorbitant cost. Could you imagine if this was actually implemented? If one of the characters lost a limb or something and they got an alchemized replacement?

They could've done that with Vriska or Tavros so they wouldn't have had to use robotic prosthetics. Man, that would've been cool.

I like how this is essentially a "secret" SBaHJ page because it isn't available alongside the others and only appears in Homestuck.

The "most important thing"? My gosh, he really wants to get in her business.

Yes, Rose's story is overly florid, verbose slop, but it feels so similar to Hussie's usual prose when he's trying to be descriptive that I'm not even sure if this story is written to be intentionally pompous or not.

Has Hussie ever tried submitting something for the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, the contest to write the worst possible opening paragraph for a novel? I'd bet he'd win without trying. (If you've never heard of this before, look it up and go to the website to read the winning entries. They're hilarious.)

It is rather sweet that Dave likes the story enough to want to read more of it later, though.

Dave is able to figure out Mom Lalonde's intentions simply because he knows Rose well enough to tell when she's being dramatic. See, Dave doesn't even need to read Rose's journal to discover her true thoughts. He already sees through her well enough already (and she likewise sees through his act just as clearly).

The fact that Rose remembers "some things" about her previous self's existence sounds like something that should be investigated further, instead of being written off so abruptly.

Or is that "ok cool" a defense mechanism on Davesprite's part? Maybe talking to Rose is too painful for him, because she's not "his" Rose. Even if she retains all the memories from the future, she'll still never be the same Rose he left behind.

I really wish this was explored more. Davesprite and Rose never talk again after this conversation and it drives me insane. What if he actually tried pressing further about what she remembers about the timeline, trying to seek out remnants of "his" Rose? He could be trying in vain to reconnect with her, to apologize about leaving her to die, but all that ever happens is that he gets rebuffed.

And Rose might recall the moments she shared with another Dave in another timeline, but stamps them out as she continues to focus on the present and as she grows closer with Kanaya. Perhaps revisiting those memories of the doomed timeline, reliving the loneliness leading up to her demise, are too painful to recall. And Davesprite is a living reminder of them, so she pushes him away to make herself forget.

If only Hussie could write convincing and earnest tragedy. We were utterly robbed.

Dave makes it seem like Jade is the one who's going to freak out about the body. But somehow I doubt the girl who lives with the corpse of her grandfather, along with other taxidermied creatures, on permanent display is going to be fazed by another dead body. Yeah, I'm thinking Dave is the one who doesn't want to keep looking at his own corpse.

Also, I never noticed DD hanging out on the I-beam before. That's a neat detail.

This part of the Act is admittedly fun. Could it be because a lot of it had a healthy focus on Rose and Dave? It's amazing how much nicer the comic is to read when the focus is put on the stronger characters.

Unfortunately I already know that the next few upcoming pages are going to be one of my least favorite parts of the comic, so I'm not terribly looking forward to wrapping up this Act next week...

Read the next post here.

[vlerian-root]

PMDD + transitioning

I don't know how to write this in a more poetic manner, but I would like to put some words out of my head and into (virtual) paper. Being trans has saved my life

Quite literally! I have a medical condition called PMDD, that has been undiagnosed for 17 years. It is a neurological sensitivity to changes in levels of estrogen in the blood. There is documentation out there, don't believe anything that says "it's like bad pms". It has nothing to do with pms. This is your brain being "allergic" to you getting your period, and causing havoc on any and all brain functions - like a russian roulette! It can affect your mood (in a good and bad way, usually very extreme), leaving you suicidal, violent, nonverbal, manic... It can be very painful - and not just in your head, with the typical migraines that last for days, but also on the rest of your body, or localized areas. I used to not be able to move my legs for days at a time. "Just pms" my ass. It can affect your memory. Long and short term memory, some parts of mine are just gone. Erased. Not coming back. They are big chunks too. It can affect you psychologically, in all the fun flavors that can have, like paranoia, obsession, depression, hypomania, dissociation... This usually lasts up to 10 days and ends when you get your period. Which is a hell of its own, so I have lost half of my time for the last few years, when it started getting really bad. It only got diagnosed for me when my psychologist noticed a pattern of me getting really bad every month around the same time. He assumed I knew this. I did not. Nobody had every mentioned PMDD, I didn't know it existed.

But here is where we get to the good part. I was in medical psychological therapy for something unrelated (OCPD, a personality disorder, although most of the symptoms got really bad with PMDD), and the psychiatrist assigned to me is an expert in this matter. He talked to me about the research he had done, and the research I had done while obsessively browsing the internet for any morsel of info I could get. So far any medical treatments had been from ineffective to making things a lot worse, so I needed to talk to someone who knew their stuff. And he did! But we found that since this is your body being "allergic" to a thing it naturally produces, and will continue to produce for at least another 20ish years, the best treatment was to stop that cycle. I had tried this before with my gyno. This went terribly bad. Twice. Or rather, it went great for 3 months, then worse than ever after that, and it became the new normal. It was hell. I was at a point where I couldn't have any sort of normal life. Half the time I would make projects and live happily by myself, and the other half I needed help to even walk to the bathroom because my head was about to explode, my legs didn't work, I wanted to jump out of a window, and I forgot about all my deadlines. Oh, and the muscle spasms that looked almost like seizures. This shit had cost me 90% of my social life, all of my professional life, and was now simply trying to take my life.

BUT!!! Did you know that if you remove the ovaries, the estrogen blood levels stop rising and falling? Did you know that triggers premature menopause? Did you know that testosterone is a very effective treatment of the side effects of menopause?

That was my whole approach, and my brilliant psychiatrist agreed it was a good one. To this day, he has been the only person to not question this decision even if it's pretty radical. He's the only one that has understood there is no sense in asking someone whose brain is killing them from the inside "are you sure you want to do that? you won't be able to turn back!". I'm aware you can't put the ovaries back in. But they are. Killing me. Driving me insane. Please.

It took me ages to find a doctor that would even contemplate doing this (quite simple) surgery. Every single one of them used the "but you are a woman of childbearing age, I can't do this in good faith" argument. Or the "I don't know about PMDD so I think you are lying" covered in sugary lies approach. It was hell.

In the end, I have gotten the surgery. I no longer have overies. I'm writing this weeks after it, and I can assure whoever is reading this that I no longer suffer - or will suffer - from PMDD ever again. Writing that feels so liberating... The kicker is that I wouldn't have been able to access any of this if I wasn't trans. Because PMDD is so badly researched and documented that even the doctors that specialize in the organs it affects think it's "bad pms". I had to say "but I am a trans man, this is very dysphoric". Then, and only then, would they give me T. I am not a trans man, just transmasc. I wanted to get healthy before transitioning, because it's not very great to be in an unstable mental state to handle the tsunami of changes and their (sometimes social) repercussions that come with it. But irony of ironies, the cure for 90% of my health issues has been transitioning.

OCPD has gotten easier to manage thanks to the emotional resilience I got on T (and what my therapist taught me) No ovaries mean no periods, which means no spending up to 2 weeks each month with my brain self destructing. No more memory loss, no more pain, no more spasms, no more migraines!!! No more dreading the days before the next T dose in case the previous one is a little too short (this has sent me to the ER before). No more pregnancy risk. No more depression, no more low energy, no more low libido, no more bullshit!!!! I am ME, inside and out, forever!!!!! I haven't felt like this since I was 14, and I'm 32 now! This is insane to think about @_@ It sucks that I had to lie to some doctors to get where I am today. But if I hadn't, I don't even know if I'd be here. It wasn't that big of a lie anyways (I hope). Feels bad to me, because I hate lying, but... no, I think this one was ok.

TL;DR: I have PMDD, meaning my brain is allergic to estrogen, so you can kind of say I was allergic to being a woman, and transitioning has saved my life ♥

If you are still reading this, thank you. I'm very sleepy and this probably makes very little sense, but my dms are open to any questions.

[moosemonstrous]

I never write in the second person, but it seemed to fit, so 🤷

Ghost Rider Pacific Rim AU - Yegor Ivanov's edition

Say, you're in charge of security on a large, well-appointed quasi-military base housing twenty thousand people - mostly J-techs and their families, but also a sizeable assortment of soldiers, scientists, medical staff, relief workers and support crew. It's the most stable job you've ever had. The general populace is just so grateful for the giant robots you deploy to fight the ever-nastier demons crawling out of The Breach, you barely have to pay any attention to actual security part of it. Your subordinates haven't reported a single issue they couldn't deal with themselves in years. The eggheads fight between each other to secure your approval. You have the respect of the international leaders for keeping Hong-Kong off of their priority list. Somehow, in this beautiful, messed up world you managed to carve yourself out an existence most people can only dream of.

And you got there by making a hard decision once, ten years ago. Eli Morrow was a dangerous psychopath and once his usefulness ran its course, it was your responsibility to put him down. Sometimes, one man has to pull the trigger for the good of the many, and that day you pulled the trigger. Figuratively. It was a regrettable situation, but you don't really regret it, because you gave Eli every chance under the sun to pull himself together.

You said it broke your heart, to see what he did to his brother, but secretly you were relieved. You've done many terrible things together, before the monsters stopped being just men in a different uniform. You had a good handle on Eli for so long, you almost forgot that rabid dogs will bite their master's hand given half a chance. If it hadn't been poor Alberto, it would've been you.

You didn't believe for a second Beto's kids turned up on base purely by accident. Call it fate, or karma, or whatever you want, you can't pretend seeing a mirror image of a young Eli in your own damn hangar doesn't strike a chord deep in your chest. It's not a pleasant sensation.

You have no idea what their mother told them - she was smart enough to get out before all hell came loose, so maybe she was also smart enough to keep her mouth shut. The younger one is a non-issue, at least. You forgot he had the--the whatsit, some condition the medical was working on, the hook you had on the Reyeses to keep them on base. You should dig into the files, see if the same hook will work on the older one.

And you need all the hooks you can think of, because you fucked up. You panicked and figured, well, he doesn't know his old man's jaeger is a goddamn death trap kept only because it would be more expensive to take it apart. He doesn't know it killed every recruit to ever step a foot in it. And he's as sentimental as his father was, all wide-eyed at the sight of the machine making up a good portion of your nightmares.

Only Robbie Reyes is a little too much like his uncle, too, because he doesn't. Fucking. Die.

The whole K-Sci department is very excited, of course. The techs aren't. You should've timed yourself better, made sure Canelo and the rest of the old guard were off-shift when you brought Robbie to The Charger. Now they're watching your hands and lowering their voices whenever you step into the hangar. You can't make the problem disappear without someone starting to ask questions. You need to be smarter than that.

If you can't get rid of him, you must learn to control him. He's no Eli Morrow - and you kept a lid on that can of worms for nearly a decade, from boot camp through black ops to TJP. One scowling teenager is nothing. He needs a strong hand and a little misdirection, that's all.

He watches you too, though. Like he already knows. He can't--can he? How? Who would've told him?

That broken eye of his is tripping you up, that's all. A strong hand, and a promise of medical support for the younger one - you will have him asking 'how high' before the next demon is due.

Besides, piloting jaegers is such a dangerous job. Anything could happen out in the sea. You can live through another regrettable loss. You don't think you can live through whatever Robbie Reyes is planning when he looks at you like that.

[lordavanti]

Toxic

Aemond Targaryen x reader

Recap: Aemond is deadset on getting you in his bed. But you're married. But how long can you resist him? Words: 1685 Warnings: Smut

Tags: @ladyangelcry

You were a Targaryen. Or at least half of one. All of these people here in this room were part of that family. They were relatives in all kinds of weird ways. Sometimes you lost track of them but it was events, a dance, like this that reminded you of how powerful that family was. You were leaning against a column, watching a row of men bow to their ladies in a dance. You had never been much of a dancer. You were this, a silent observer. In that way, you had a lot in common with Daemon. The only difference was that you weren’t such a showoff, you weren’t that brutal. You wished to be. Seeing him talk, and own things just thrilled you. All you did by watching these people was get to know their most significant flaws. You educated yourself in knowing every single secret, every single detail of every single person present in the same room as you were. Tonight that were a lot of them. 

Your attention however slipped when you felt something behind you. ‘And,’ the voice spoke as his chest contacted with your back, his lips moving just beside your ear. ‘what have you learned?’ He asked. Another person you had a certain admiration for. You turned your head, looking at his lips before you scoured your eyes up to his. Or at least, one of them. ‘Aemond,’ you greeted him with a soft smile. ‘wasn’t sure if you planned on showing up.’ You said as you diverted your eyes back to the audience. He hummed, his lips still close to your ears. The sound of it resonated through your entire body. Aemond always made it perfectly clear that he needed you, wanted you. Till this far you had always managed to keep him at a distance. But just as Daemon displayed a certain power, so did Aemond. And you couldn’t help but feel hungry for that power. ‘You didn’t answer the question.’ He said. His chin so lightly leaned on your shoulder as he studied your expression. You took in a breath, turning your head, facing his from so close. ‘You don’t want me to spill their secrets, you want to hear mine.’ You whispered. A half smile came on his lips. ‘Can’t help that the only interesting person in this room is fighting me.’ He explained. ‘I’m married.’ You reminded him. Yes, sadly enough you were. To a husband that gives zero fucks and only exists to provide you with children. Which he still wasn’t able to do either. You felt his hand sneak around your body. You leaned into his chest, closing your eyes on the feeling. ‘I don’t see him here.’ Aemond noticed. You opened your eyes and scoured the dancefloor. No, he wasn’t here. He probably laid somewhere either wasted or asleep. Aemond pressed his nose under your ear and you willingly tilted your head to the side. He pressed his lips against your neck. Targaryens weren’t easily ashamed. Honestly, you forget all about the people around you. ‘Shouldn’t I kill him?’ He asked as his lips softly kissed down your neck, right into the curve towards your collarbone. It send a warmth through your entire body, a feeling you hadn’t felt in the years you had been married. It was the feeling of wanting something so badly that you planned on caving. You woke up out of the feeling and pulled away, turning around to him. ‘To what end?’ You asked him. You didn’t wish harm upon your husband. Yes, sure, an unlucky accident would free you from his grip but still, murder was a line you weren’t willing to cross. ‘So that I can marry you.’ The confidence of all of this made you a little on edge. ‘If you even think of planning on killing my husband I will never marry you. You won’t win my heart with this.’ You warned him. He lightly smiled, such a smile that promised nothing good. ‘It’s not your heart I desire.’ He confessed. His one good eye went down over your body and you put your fingers under his chin to restrain him in his hunger. ‘Don’t.’ You warned him again. ‘You want me to so,’ he paused as he grabbed your fingers from underneath his chin. You looked at one another. Too long, and too intense. Something had to be cracking on your expression because he smiled. He nodded as he pulled away and walked away. Shit.

When you prepared yourself for bed you couldn’t help but relive the feeling Aemond had left. His brother had always been incredibly cruel, a cruelty that went beyond your understanding. But Aemond, he wanted you and yet he hadn’t taken it. Which meant he respected certain lines. Lines you had been playing with. You stood before the window as you combed your finger through your hair. Something clicked in the room. It wasn’t the door for that piece of wood that made too much nose. It was one of those secret doorways. You turned your head, finding Aemond walking into your room. ‘Why me?’ You asked him as you turned back to the window, looking outside in the darkness. ‘Because I can’t help,’ he paused as you felt him closing in from behind. His chest again contacts with your back. You closed your eyes, letting your head fall back against his shoulder. ‘recognizing your beauty and strength, this raw personality.’ He pressed his nose in your hair, smelling it. ‘I want you Y/n, please let me have you.’ He softly said like you were some kind of treatment he couldn’t live without. His hand sneaked to your hip as he slowly dragged up your nightgown between his fingers. ‘Will you stop pursuing me if grant you this?’ You asked him with a shaky voice. He smiled against your hair. ‘Probably not.’ He admitted. His fingers reached the first part of the naked skin of your hip. He flattened his hand and slowly roamed your bare skin. You couldn’t help but open your mouth to the feeling. His finger scoured towards your tights and you nodded. ‘Fine.’ You whispered. His other arm wrapped around your body as if you would need the support. Offcourse you did. As soon as his fingers touched your sensitive flesh you caved. ‘Aemond,’ you moaned as he brought a finger inside of you. So very slowly, so very teasingly. His breath hitched against your ear and your legs were weak on the feeling he gave. You admired his restraint. For a man that wanted you for so long he kept his pace agonizing slowly. You were the first that completely gave in on is as you turned around to him. Your lips clashed in a heated kiss, one that you dominated with everything you had. But as his fingers peeled down your nightgown you realized something. You pulled back, watching him with big eyes. ‘My husband.’ You said. ‘I made sure he won’t be disturbing us.’ Aemond smiled as he gave your nightgown a little tug before he followed your body down until it lay at your feet. A sight he had to enjoy for several seconds. ‘You killed him?’ You asked. This would be a mood killer. But his gaze became serious as he looked from your body back to your eyes. ‘You asked me not to.’ He stated. And for some reason, you instantly believed that. Aemond was honorable. Not so honorable to leave you alone but still, enough to do as you asked. With that, the subject was dismissed as he wrapped his arms around you and dragged you to the bed. He undid himself off his shirt as you yourself lay on the bed, watching him as he stripped himself from his clothes. And he never took his eyes from you. Your eyes scoured his naked skin while a heat started spreading through your body. You didn’t believe for thinking this, but you needed it. You needed a man to make you feel like a woman again.

‘How long I have been fantasizing about this.’ He whispered as he studied your body. A smile rose on your lips as you gestured for him to come with your finger. As he leaned forward you reached to his head, pulling off his eyepatch before your fingers disappeared into his hair again. With your consent, Aemond did not hold back on you. It had been months since you last shared the bed with your husband so the feeling of him invading your body was an adjustment you needed a moment for. Aemond studied your face as you lay there, eyes shut while adapting to him. There were no words to describe the feeling this gave you. When you opened them again he lowered his lips onto yours and started to move. You lost control of your breathing, your voice, your body. Aemond had to wrap his hand over your mouth for you couldn’t stop repeating his name. ‘Please,’ you begged him. He buried himself as deep as possible, provoking the release you were searching for. Your body quivered around him, sounds that made him slip over that edge just as easily. ‘Y/n,’ he whispered your name. And it what way. It was like all of a sudden you were the center of his world. You tried to catch your breath as Aemond slowly started kissing every single inch of your body. You felt drowsy from enjoyment and exhaustion. ‘Can we just,’ you paused as your fingers tangled in his hair. He looked up from kissing your belly. A look from underneath his eyelashes that said so many things. He wanted to drag this out the entire night. ‘sleep?’ You asked. Something of a smile rose on his lips as he laid himself down aside from you. ‘You’re still the most interesting woman in this castle.’ He admitted. You smiled weakly. Knowing what that meant this wasn’t something that ended here. And how could it, neither one of you realized that over 9 months you would have a child. A bastard that was.

Can add a part two to this if there's any interest.

[ivy-cat-700]

stupid shit that happened in my dnd campaigns so far

SO IVE BEEN PLAYING DND SINCE????? like either late last year or early this year. i'd wanted to for a while and when a classmate asked us all if we wanted to join her campaign. what was i supposed to do? say no??

and because every person i've played with over two campaigns is an absolutely ridiculous human being, we have Many silly happenings from both.

campaign 1:

Stromboli Ironfist: one of our players, a dwarf barbarian chef who started the campaign with the goal of being the best chef in the land but i think he kinda lost that over time. when he showed the name on his character sheet to the dm. she was in tears laughing.

Stromboli Jr.: the adopted goblin son of Stromboli, who adopted him immediately after killing his entire guild(? dont exactly recall). the matching names are, canonically, a complete coincidence.

housekeeping?: we were going through a dilapidated castle and every time someone asked us "what are you doing here?" in a new room, stromboli said ".......housekeeping?" and it. it never worked. except for ONE TIME. when a guard rolled SO LOW that they were just like "oh yeah we've been waiting on you guys!" So then we cleaned some cobwebs off the walls to keep up the act :')

throwing wolves in the fire: one of our players just kept throwing wolves in fires. that is all.

tormenting wren with milk: (wren is the character's name, not the player cause i didnt wanna put their name out there.) dm kept giving wren milk-related items and just would not stop. we were IN TEARS every time and. we ended up giving them a mcguffin of "The Strawberry Nesquik" at the end of the game. i believe that strawberry nesquik ended up being empty. the world is truly unfair to Wren Serpent. (also, wren was the one who threw wolves in fires)

Badger Milking Farm: THIS ONE HAS CONTINUED TO THE PRESENT DAY. during one of the times at which wren received a Milk Item, namely Badger Milk, he was extremely confused about the existence of such a thing. my character, zora, said, "what, you don't know about badger milk? some of my most formative memories are with badger milk!" this led to the canonization of the idea that Zora Grew Up On A Badger Milking Farm.

Campaign 2:

least productive session ever: first session of the new campaign! .....we spent the entire time beating each other up and failing to go through a waterfall that was Literally Right The Fuck There. before we had a single encounter, two of us almost died.

THE APPLESAUCE: dm gave us the name of a VERY IMPORTANT AND PLOT RELEVANT ITEM, we decided to butcher the name as "The Applesauce." no matter what she renames it. we will always call it the applesauce.

not-a-puzzle: this hellish nightmare was created by stromboli's player. we spent the back half of one session and part of another trying to figure out what the hell we were supposed to do for a """"puzzle."""" i said out loud at some point, "is there something obvious we're missing here??" to which the dm and stromboli had to try very hard not to laugh. one player then decided to ask, "can i just go??" she tried the door. and. IT WASNT FUCKING LOCKED. i have a grudge i will hold for all eternity from that

zora's glasses: so the new campaign is centered around a new band of heroes trying to mend the things that our old characters royally fucked up. so we're getting to meet our old characters! and when we met zora (on the badger milking farm, mind you) she asked us to find her glasses. i told the dm that i wanted the glasses to be a pair of new year's eve novelty glasses for a year that has not happened yet. and so, that is what they became.

that is all i can think of but if i remember more. i will put them

[cinnamontoastcrunch-15]

You’re Here

It had been 3 years since Remus’ ex-boyfriend had dropped out of school and joined the Deatheaters, and every single one he took down felt like revenge.

It would be a whole lot easier to pretend he didn’t care if he could just forget about the time they had…

The marauders were worried about Sirius.

Sure, they knew about his home life, but he had always been back after the school holidays. Something had to be wrong, and they didn’t know what.

Until they did.

-

Remus always volunteered for the hardest missions. The ones that put him in the most danger, letting him keep the others safe.

And because every time he took a Deatheater down, it felt like his own personal revenge.

If he had told his 14 year old self that in 6 years he would hate Sirius Black’s guts, he probably would have gotten hexed. Yet, there he was, trying to force his memories of Sirius out of his mind.

It had been 3 years, and he still couldn’t forget the feeling of Sirius’ love. Or, what he thought had been love. 3 years, and he couldn’t get the image of Sirius’ blush out of his head. 3 years, and he was still in love with Sirius Black, the fucking Deatheater, no matter how betrayed and angry he felt.

At least James understood.

They had discussed it a lot, what they would do if they ever ran into Sirius.

Discussing it was definitely not preparation for the real thing.

Remus had been the first to sign on to the Rosier Manor raid, much to Lily and James’ disapproval. It was better if he went, he didn’t have anything to lose. Not that he’d ever say that much to his friends because the one time he had, Lily cried, which was not something he was interested in doing again.

He listened as Moody went through the game plan. Well, half listened, but still. He was just… slightly intimidated as he took in the sheer size of the manor.

It was nice to get back to duelling.

The idea of taking down the Deatheaters one by one was exhilarating as hell, and Remus revelled in the way his adrenaline pounded through him as he shot hexes and curses left and right, keeping a pretty decent shield over himself.

“Lupin, behind!” He heard a shout from one of the Prewett twins and turned to block a curse headed in his direction. It was lazily done, not specifically sent towards him, so it didn’t take much to block it. His hand froze on his way to send out a counter-curse, as he noticed the Deatheater had stopped, staring directly at him with wide eyes.

It had been 6 years, but he hadn’t forgotten those silver eyes, that slightly crooked nose, and that mess of black hair. The light in his eyes had dimmed considerably, but he was still beautiful. So, so fucking beautiful.

“Sirius?” The name tumbled out of his mouth before he could stop himself, ignoring the fact that they were losing Deatheaters every second. He could faintly hear some of his allies shouting to him, but it was like everything else stopped existing to him.

God, he was still gorgeous.

He was a lot thinner, almost alarmingly so, and he had dark bags under his eyes, but he was Sirius. The fact that he was fighting for the wrong side had gone completely forgotten as they stared at one another, Sirius just as taken aback as he was, eyes fixed on Remus.

“You let your guard down, Lupin.” A voice sounded behind him, a shiver running down Remus’ spine.

Shit.

A hand grabbed his wrists, wand having disappeared at some point, as his hands were bound behind his back and he was apparated away.

The last thing he saw before he was promptly knocked out was Sirius’ stunned expression darken.

-

“Oi! Lupin, Potter! I heard your best friend is one with the Dark Lord himself, now!” Barty Crouch Jr’s snide voice rang out from the Slytherin table, and Remus’ heart sunk.

No.

There was no fucking chance.

“-torture him for information, then kill him? Is he really that useful?” Remus’ head was throbbing, eyes still shut, unmoving, as he tried to get his bearings and listen immediately after waking up, which was not fucking easy.

“He’s on Dumbledore’s little inner circle, if he’s in a raid like that. He has to know something useful.” He finally forced his eyes open, lifting his head.

“Oh, he’s up. Morning, Lupin.” Barty fucking Crouch Jr. Of course. He was rolling up his sleeves, pulling his wand out with a twisted smile. “Alright, this is going to be fun-“

“I’m going first.” Sirius interrupted, and Remus turned to him with a glare.

“What the fuck? I’m the one who caught him!”

“And I’m the one who was forced to room with those fuckwits for six and a half years! Besides, don’t you think it’ll be better for him to look his ex in the eye?” His eyes met Barty’s with a malicious glint in them that Remus didn’t even recognise. He thought his heart had broken 3 years ago, but apparently not, because it was definitely shattering. He was almost surprised the Deatheaters couldn’t hear it.

“…fine. But don’t finish him off, I’m having a fucking turn.” He grumbled, sounding so childish that Remus almost wanted to laugh at his tantrum.

Almost.

Sirius turned and locked the door with a flick of his wand, before throwing a silencing charm around the room.

“Why did you do that?”

“Because last time I didn’t, Mulciber barged in and demanded a turn. I’m not having that happen again.” Sirius answered, eyes still fixed on Remus.

“Fair.”

Sirius lifted his wand, Remus never once moving his gaze from him.

“Avada kedavra.”

Remus watched as Barty slumped to the ground, eyes widening at the fact that Sirius’ hand was shaking. He had killed Barty. Remus was alive, untouched, okay. Sirius pulled Remus’ wand from his pocket, before crouching in front of him.

“Moony, are you alright? Are you hurt?” There was a hand on his cheek, Sirius’ hand, as Sirius surveyed him carefully.

“No, I’m- I’m fine. What-“

“Come on, there’s a way out the back.”

“Wait, what’s going on? I thought you were- that you had…” he trailed off helplessly as Sirius walked behind him and freed him.

“Okay, so Dumbledore told none of you, of fucking course. He approached me 2 years ago, asked me to spy, keep his lot safe. Let’s go.” He offered Remus his hand, watching silently as Remus hesitated. He went over the possibilities in his head. Sirius was lying and was ready to take him straight to the Dark Lord, Sirius was telling the truth, but got them both killed anyway (which was a very Sirius thing to do), or that he was telling the truth and Remus was safe.

Despite the fact that it had been 3 years, the instinct that told him to trust Sirius still hadn’t gone. If anything, it was fighting louder to be heard, screaming and kicking until he listened.

So he took his hand.

Sirius smiled softly at him, and Remus could swear he saw a spark of the old glint in his eyes. It was enough to make Remus weak in the knees (still), but at least he could blame it on having been knocked out and tied to a chair.

Sirius led him carefully out a hidden door, the two of them stepping carefully and quietly, Sirius giving Remus his wand back as they walked.

“Hey, Black, what the fuck are you doing?!” A voice rang out.

Sirius froze.

“Shit. Run!” He started sprinting, dragging Remus with him as he sent out as many curses as he physically could, Remus throwing a protective spell over the two of them. “We’re almost out of the anti-apparation zone!” He explained as he shoved a door open, the daylight stinging Remus’ eyes as Sirius apparated, the two of them vanishing from sight.

-

Hope was at a loss as she watched her son fall apart in her arms.

“I hate him- I fucking hate him- I should hate him- Why the hell do I still love him?” The words came out in between stuttered breaths, sobbing into Hope as she moved her hand soothingly up and down Remus’ back. It wasn’t just heartbreak. It was like Sirius had silently, secretly, stolen Remus’ heart and set it on fire, burning slow and painful in his chest as he disappeared without a word.

-

Sirius knew it had to be a confusing sight, a known Deatheater from a high status family walking into the Order’s safe space with one of their most trusted members.

James saw him first, as Sirius’ heart gave a painful tug.

James.

He was frozen, stunned, as Marlene stood, wand raised.

“Let him go.” Her voice was low, dangerous, as Sirius immediately released Remus and dropped his wand. He raised both of his hands, not knowing how the fuck to explain what was going on to the room of people who hated him.

Thankfully, he didn’t have to.

“Listen, I’m not-“

“Black?” Alastor Moody. Sirius kept his gaze fixed on Marlene, not moving in case she took it as a threat, rightfully so, and shot a curse at him.

“Wotcher, Moody.”

“What are you doing here?”

“About that. I may have… accidentally blown my cover.” Sirius could feel Remus’ eyes on him, and he hoped his face didn’t turn red as easily as it used to, because he could feel it heating up.

“What the fuck, Sirius?! We need someone on the inside!”

“Please, I know you have more than just me in there.” He shot back. “They were going to kill Remus, and I couldn’t talk them into letting him go. I got as far as only torturing him, but I wasn’t going to get him any safer than that without blowing my cover.” He said simply, and it was like Remus’ gaze only intensified. Fucking hell, he loved him so much.

“Black,” Moody started, pinching the bridge of his nose. “You have killed people for the cause, but one of your friends getting a little hurt makes you quit?”

“Yes.” He answered immediately. “Because my friends have spent 3 years hating me, and I’ve spent 3 years knowing that they hate me. I wasn’t going to let the only man I’ve ever loved die hating me, or any of my friends think I killed him! Especially if I could fucking stop it!” Moody was stunned into silence, as Sirius realised what he had said.

Remus had spent years hating him, he must have, and here he was confessing his love for him! Great. Just fucking perfect.

“Dumbledore can rip me apart if he really wants to.” He mumbled, as he noticed Remus take a step closer to him. It wasn’t exactly easy to hold on to his train of thought anymore. “But I wasn’t going to, uh, to let them, you know, so…”

“Padfoot.” Remus’ voice was half a whisper, half a sob, as Sirius finally, finally turned and met his eyes. Those beautiful, lovely, amazing amber eyes.

Before he had a chance to speak, Remus wrapped his arms around Sirius, holding him like he was worried that he would disappear if he didn’t. Sirius wondered if their hearts still spoke the same language that they had before, an effortless blend of the two of them. He hoped to Merlin that Remus could hear his heart keening, gravitating towards him, beating a constant ‘you’re here, hi, I missed you so much, I love you.’

He was probably speaking them, too, as he buried his face in Remus’ collarbone, feeling Remus press a kiss to the top of his head.

“I- I wanted to think you’d never, but-“

“Hey, hey, it’s okay, darling. I know.” Sirius interrupted. “Anyway, I’m here now, aren’t I?” Remus pulled away and nodded, amazed.

“Yeah. You’re here.” There was a small smile on his face as he slowly, carefully, connected their lips in a very short kiss. Almost immediately after he pulled away, Sirius felt another pair of arms around him.

James.

Oh, he had missed his friends.

There had been so many times that he had felt inhuman over the three years with the Deatheaters, where he worried that he could never be the same, once the war was over.

As he looked at his friends, at Remus watching him with that perfect smile, eyes shining, he knew that it was okay.

He was finally okay.

[infimace-blog]

Okay I have to say it. I have to say it because it passes my mind every single time I see anything remotely related to Baldur's Gate 3.

So there's the first quest, right? There's an idyllic druid glen and you have to rescue the head druid Halsin because the vice head druid is racist against tieflings. And he got captured by goblins so you go to the goblin camp in the ancient ruins, where the goblins are all completely and utterly unsympathetic. And that's racial essentialist horsefeathers but it's a DnD game and you can't rely on Wizards to actually commit to being less racist rather than just saying they will. We knew what we were getting into when we bought the game.

And then you find the head druid and he's stuck in bear form and getting tormented by three kids and their babysitter, and to free him you have to murder every single goblin in the room?? Including the children??? Who are not combatants?????? You can go out of your way to not kill the children, which makes the fight harder because they inevitably call more goblins who can actually fight, but then the noble and progressive head druid you came to save will just murder the children himself.

I'm not trying to turn this into 'every person who's fantasized about a Shadowheart/Astarion three-way thinks goblin children deserve to die'. Disco Elysium is one of my favorite games and I love talking about Tequila Sunset and Kim, the World's Most Perfect Man, but also Measurehead exists and I hate him and everything about his writing. But also I bring up Measurehead more than I normally would when I talk about Disco Elysium because the weird way his race is handled in the game compels me, and no one does that with the goblin children murder? It's not an obscure part that no one sees. Rescuing Halsim is one of the easier routes in the first major story quest, he can become a recruitable companion, and the first I heard about the game was 'hey, there's a druid companion and you can bang them while they're turned into a bear'. The game pointedly glosses over the fact that you murdered three children for the crime of being jerks to an animal, and I guess that means the playerbase did too? Even I had to do a double-take because I initially assumed that I screwed up the encounter and that the correct way would have let the goblin children live (and probably give me an easier fight to boot). But no, unless you're handling the quest in some really unintuitive way (maybe you can knock them out?????), you gotta kill the kids to get the bear sex.

I guess some players just agree that there's nothing wrong with killing children as long as they're goblins and categorically evil. But I feel like the overlap between that kind of DnD player and the kind I occasionally see posting shipping art of BG3 isn't that large. Hopefully.

And it bugs the hell out of me because the biggest game of the year, based on one of the most popular TRPGs of all time, just goes 'yeah, we're going to put child murder in one of the good routes to complete this quest, but it's fine because they're the wrong race and they're kind of dicks' and it's not news. Wizards has spent years trying to do a soft rollback on all the racial essentialism in its worldbuilding, up to and including retroactively making a type of good drow so they can get off the hook about making an entire race of dark-skinned fantasy creatures evil. Sure, Wizards cares about fixing the obsession DnD has about race performatively half the time, but it does try. And now Wizards knows that it doesn't even need to care performatively anymore. If the product's good enough and the racism is subtle enough, it just goes forgotten.

I don't even, like. Need this to be universally condemned by the fanbase. But at least talked about more? I'd have preferred it if I knew about the goblin children murder *before* I bought the game and played enough of it that Steam won't refund me.

[sleepymarmot]

NPC: Three centuries... Jedi Master... Discovered an ancient space station of untold power... Built by a species that once ruled the galaxy... Me: I Have A Bad Feeling About This

[Major spoilers for KOTOR, major spoilers for this accursed pair of flashpoints in SWTOR, and a lot of vitriol]

One point for authenticity, I guess: the Foundry is just as awful of an experience in SWTOR as the Star Forge was in KOTOR. No, that's not fair: it's worse.

I thought I had a bad time during Boarding Party, crawling through an endless dungeon full of dull trash packs, all the while dreading what the not-so-subtle hints are supposed to mean. I'd let my guard down after the surprisingly respectful Revanite cult quest; I didn't expect to meet the imposwtor (bless whoever coined that name) until the expansion titled with "his" name.

You know what's an even worse experience? Spending an hour and a half in a dull ugly dungeon that exists only to shit on everything about an iconic, beloved character from a different game.

Revan in KOTOR (light side): On second thought, perhaps using weapons of mass destruction isn't the best way forward. "Revan" in The Foundry: Nevermind.

Revan in KOTOR (dark side): Fuck this, I'm not a Jedi. "Revan" in The Foundry: Nevermind.

A Revan who is proudly a Jedi and also proudly into genocide now is the opposite of where my own character was going, and incompatible with either of the paths the original game offers. It's the opposite of fanservice. I have no idea who this mission was for. Was it for ten year old boys who haven't actually played KOTOR but are excited to earn bragging rights of knowing who Revan was so that they could earn clout on message boards?

Not only is "Revan"'s personality an insulting caricature of the character we knew and loved, not only his appearance has nothing in common with what the majority of players must have picked during character creation back in KOTOR (how many different presets are for the male PC alone?) — we also have to kill him.

And to add insult to injury, we have to kill HK-47, too. My heart sank when I heard the word "meatbags" over the intercom. Well, at least he killed me twice in a row, and forced me to look up the mechanics of the fight, like it's a real dungeon or something. That's my boy! Very proud of him.

I went through all of this shitshow with my "Revanite" title equipped, by the way. And took it off after the end. I don't want to be associated with this. Don't remind me.

Well. To look on the bright side — I got like three level ups out of this. The one and only benefit.

Anyway, I have no idea whether to integrate this into my personal canon or not. As a KOTOR player, I want to forget about this like a bad dream. On the other hand, if taken seriously, the psychological impact on the player character should be immense.

The last thing that happened before this story was a Jedi padawan telling my PC that she wants to kill every single Sith. Now she meets someone claiming to be a Jedi who intended to kill every single citizen of the Empire. Was her opinion on the Jedi very abruptly and violently turned from "pretentious, hypocritical windbags with bad metaphysical opinions" to "immediate existential threat to everything and everyone she's ever known"? Are these just a stupid kid and a madman — or is this something to be expected from any and every Jedi? From the Republic? Did Revan keep his plans of genocide a secret, or did the Republic know and still allow it?

Additionally, what happens to her opinions on the Force that have been influenced by the Revanites? Does she feel disillusioned, even personally betrayed? Does this wound her confidence in her beliefs about the Force?

Actually, this is bigger than the player character's feelings. Why is the Empire not publicising this?! Doesn't even matter whether the Republic and the Jedi knew of Revan's plan or not. Can you imagine the impact on the public, in both factions? "Revan" just gave the Empire the biggest propaganda piece in galactic history on a silver platter. They want to escalate, and this is a perfect inciting incident. In the story order guides, this flashpoint is placed immediately before Quesh; on the Foundry you encounter an open act of extreme violence by the Republic against the Empire, then half an hour later you land on Quesh and immediately get tasked with provoking the Republic into violence as an excuse to start the war. I can't believe this stupid flashpoint breaks the story not only of KOTOR, but of SWTOR itself.

[the-blackholeus]

Headcanons for my Slytherin MC

WARNING! Spoilers for those who have not yet finished the game!

Micer Bloodhound is the last known member of the Bloodhound bloodline. She never knew her mother and father, and grew up in an orphanage. Despite what her name might suggest, she does not originate from an English-speaking country. Her true heritage is unknown.

Was sorted into Slytherin for her rather dark personality. While she is sweet and wonderful to her friends and to those she respects, she can quickly become ugly and sadistic with those she dislikes. On top of that, she is also a master manipulator, and knows what to do to get what she wants.

She does not care about rules. She lives her life at its fullest and does whatever she feels like, no matter how dangerous it might be. In her opinion, rules are made to be broken, and that is exactly what she does on a daily basis. She is also responsible for why there are so many rules in Hogwarts after she graduated.

Her female best friends are Natty and Poppy, her male best friends are Sebastian and Ominis. She loves each and everyone of them and is ready to murder anyone who dares to lay a finger on them with ill intent.

Definitely possesses an extensive knowledge of the Dark Arts. She knows all three unforgivable curses, uses them frequently in battle and even knows how to create and summon Inferi. No one knows about that, though, not even Sebastian, and she intends to keep it that way.

Her birthday is in winter. That means about half into her adventure, she turned 16.

She despises poachers more than anything else in the world. She loves magical creatures, even has a female thestral friend called Nightcloud, and if she sees them roaming around she immediately removes them from the gene pool, but not before casting a Curcio at each of them to make them suffer in their last moments of existence.

She loves to fly. There is no better feeling for her than to soar through the sky on her broom, or on Highwing’s or Nightcloud’s back. If you hear a woman scream in utter euphoria while marching through the forbidden forest, it is most likely her.

She loves spiders and would like to tame one, but after seeing how big and aggressive they are, she’d much rather admire them from afar. At least, for now.

Does not have a single idea what to do jobwise, even after she finished Hogwarts. She just continues to kill poachers and evil dark wizards, save magical animals from harm and provides different people with materials in exchange for money, but otherwise, not a single career is good enough for her. Each and every single one just has too many restrictions.

Is in regular contact with Sirona and sometimes helps her out when she is too busy. Sirona has offered her drinks on the house for an exchange, but Micer almost always declines.

While she hates politics, she actively fights for equal rights and better treatment for magical creatures. In that single year of her adventure, she realized how terribly flawed the entire system is and wants to help them in every way she can. She is aware that a single person isn’t going to achieve much, but in her opinion, every little change for the better is a step int the right direction.

She will never fully recover from Lodgok’s death. She really, really liked that goblin and blames herself for not being able to protect him from his own brother. Every time she visits the three broomsticks, she stands before the fireplace and stares at a photo of him there, wishing that he would be still here and drink a butterbeer with her. She would never forget him.

She saw Professor Fig as a father figure, something she never had before as the orphanage she grew up in was rather cold and loveless, and that is the reason why she bonded with him as quickly as she did. She never had any family in her life, and to have someone who treated her as such was like a dream coming true. She was devastated as he died, but comforts herself in the knowledge that he is now with his dearest wife.

She is obsessed with understanding her power. She wants to truly grasp what she is capable off and has started to research her gift after she graduated. She kept Isidora’s notes and travels the world, trying to understand the concept of the power she wielded. Other than that wicked witch from several hundred years ago, however, she is aware of the potential danger awaiting her on her journey.

Her biggest and darkest fear is to lose control of her magic. She has seen what happened to Ranrok as he came in contact with the corrupted magic, and fears that maybe, when she grieves or angers, the same thing would happen to her. She does not want to become a monster. She does not want to become like Isidora.

[ladyswillmart]

New Fic: "Dead End” Ultima VII; 6424 words, Gen (AO3 link)

One can't help but feel sorry for Sethys, an acolyte of a lost philosophy who accidentally got himself folded into a Time Breach while the rest of his civilization collapsed around him during a hideously violent war. There he stands in the prime of neither life nor death, imprisoned alone in a freezing basement, his very existence lobbed far beyond the agency of time, going mad with unaddressed trauma, immortality, boredom and a complete inability to tell one second, hour, day, year, from the one before or after.

And perhaps worst of all, the very first person he has to interact with after roughly 8500 years of all that, is one miserable G.D. mudsill by the name of Batlin...

(Prelude to The Meadowtron, a loosely connected series of humorous stories about The Avatar's "B-Team" on Serpent Isle.)

---⏳---

Bonus Snippet for the Kids at Home:

“Ahem. Yes. It struck me as a load of applesauce at the time as well, some meaningless mumbo-jumbo from a half-crazed laundress about dark magic and ritual sacrifice and communion with this realm’s rubbish snake gods—”

“—rubbish?” Sethys’s eyes flared wide open. “I beg thy pardon!”

“No? We aren’t Ophidians, are we? After all, your people all killed themselves centuries ago,” Batlin went on, coldly. “Therefore you can’t hardly expect us to give a single toss about you or your failed society, only the immense power you evidently wielded at the height of it.”

“What power?”

“I speak of the Wall of Lights, ancient.”

Sethys took one wary step backwards, out of reach from any more wandering hands. “That thou wouldst dare to speak of such things with so little regard for purpose or meaning,” he countered. “Thou wouldst insult our ways, but plumb our tombs, steal our secrets just the same.”

Batlin nodded. “True, but I was hardly the first to do so. Have a look at this,” he said as he began to root through the dowdy leather kit bag hanging off Palos’s shoulder. “The people who colonized this accursed place in the wake of your destruction have been stealing your relics since they first broke ground, passing them around the place like party favors. You have no secrets anymore, child. See?”

He unearthed his prize from the bag and displayed it—a chunk of yellowed bone, hefty and imposing, such that even a large man like Batlin needed both hands to hold it.

Although Sethys had only see this particular relic once or twice, he recognized it instantly by shape alone: “A serpent’s jawbone,” he said, quietly noticing that Batlin had even managed to install a few of its teeth. “Where didst thou find that?”

“Where? Why, some other man who would insult your ways and steal your secrets, who else?” said Batlin. “Now perhaps you might think me in the wrong to perpetuate the extraordinarily brazen chain of thefts that saw this treasure moving from one grotty pair of hands to the next. But I would challenge you to answer, does it even matter anymore? Does it truly? Because I would venture that the only thing that matters now is that I own it, which means that I am free to wield all the power it holds.”

Brunt burst into a loud and bitter peal at his leader’s stumping. “Hear hear! Look at Lord Batlin, wielding all that ancient power! Or at least he will be, soon as he works out how to actually use the blasted thing…”

Batlin’s mouth became a tight, thin line, stretching from cheek to cheek in his desperate attempt to remain unfazed. He considered his own brand of villainy to be a cut above the churlish clowning of his hired hands. He always regretted hiring them, always, though they did serve a purpose in that they made him look much more sophisticated than he actually was.

He sighed through clenched teeth. The likes of Brunt was enough to make him wish for the likes of Hook and Forskis, and that was saying something.

[inthecarpets]

Hello, just a passer-by! I actually was just looking at waterfall and was considering using it(I'm just looking for new websites to us and be cringe on) when I saw your post recommending not to!

I'm curious, what happened that was so bad???

Hello!!

The admin Thell/Thelle doesn't plan to develop Waterfall.Social anymore. He said he plans to keep it on while he creates something else but its not worth the time. Trust Me. (And waterfall apparently is down half the time nowadays)

People paid for this website on gofund me or whatever patreon website so you'd expect a bit of professionalism but Thell is not and he's ready to blame the users on his own shortcomings.

The ToS at the beginning had some bull like "no need to tire you with legalese" (paraphrasing it here) at the beginning of it. which Obviously had to be changed later. But it was a red flag i suppose.

Back when i joined waterfall years ago it to had some nice ideas, but longterm it fell Apart due to Thell being a mess of a single admin.

Thell created us an art marketplace on the website and then took it down few months later bc it wasn't profitable and people wouldn't abide the rules.

Which, in all fairness, the website was small, and he'd refuse to hire more staff idk. hard to see it profitable if it's tiny

Like, he'd give us featured art frame like on Tumblr desktop except it was random art so everyone got the chance to use it. Everyone loved it bc of that. Maybe feew years later though he broke the feature down

Why? Bc, at least to him, People would register to the website, see "bad art" and then walk away from the website. (Ways to insult userbase💖)

Not that the website itself was kind of bare and laggy and bunch of people was on it :))

Thell changed the featured art frame into 'only artworks above a treshold of notes get in there'. And it was some bull amount bc all you could see was few artworks circulating on repeat 'for another year'

I also heard the coding of the website was a mess but i'm not an IT person so idk

he also promised an app for Waterfall but then it turned out he'd have to have more staff to post it in appstore lol

Thell would even sort of threaten at some point to take away NSFW? the very reason why the site existed

Saying that people don't tag nsfw and this is why other websites got it banned and he doesn't want it to happen here.

A year ago Waterfall stopped working for a few weeks.

And so i was curious and i started digging. (it was actually also after announcement that Thell was thinking about ditching the website altogether for maybe a new project but couldn't decide)

Invites for official discord server weren't working.

Official twitter was gone

Official tumblr account was gone

No info whatsoever

Except i only found some roleplaying cherp drama on tumblr dunking on Thell i guess, bc offtopic, but apparently he was an admin on it and they accussed him of pretending to be 2 people in the same time, god complex, narcissism, bad coding and telling one of the Discord members to kill themself.

At the beginning i also remember being able to look at notification board.

And later it disappeared for some reason.

No notification board

Thell took it down after a year or two I Suppose

Lack of communication, one big indecisiveness, lack of transparency, taking away what was already in there, lack of planning skills while not getting more people on board, etc.

And honestly the red signs were already there even before Waterfall. Before this site, which is supposed to be for leftist minded people, he was creating a website for rightists which also failed lol (you should be able to find more about it while browsing through waterfall tag more). People can change. But it seems Thell didn't change that much for the better beyond changing bunch of views.

If you'd like receipts, they should be available on Waterfall's Staff blog on Waterfall social bc Thell wrote updates through time.

If Thell creates another website ever again i Hope Tumblr will crush it to pulp.

--

If you'd like something that's more stable i can recommend Pillowfort and send you an invite code if you'd like. They also allow nsfw.

I heard there was some drama with it and staff aswell though i have no details about it, and i bet it wasn't as ridiculous as waterfall. I know they were fakely accussed on allowing cp tho. Even despite their website being one of the most anti-cp (even fictional is a No) i've seen. Heard they are too jumpy with implementing this ban, which is not good if you get fakely accussed, but well, maybe it changes. You don't have to pay for it to necessarily use it so at worst its just waste of time. o/ Pillowfort grows and seems to get regularly updated and it has a team behind it.

If you are an artist or an art enjoyer, Artfol is a cool new app for that. You can view it also from desktop. They are currently developing the option to post artworks from website. A very organised small team.

Other social media i somewhat heard of were mastodon (decentralised Twitter?) and Inkblot (another for artists)

If anyone knows more websites, please let me know!

Otherwise? Just not waterfall. Not it. The admin is way too unreliable

Edit: the website previous to Waterfall was racist. idk if rightist but for sure racist.

[greatwyrmgold]

For some reason, I've been thinking about what kind of power Asa Mitaka might get if she was from Earth Bet.

Background

Asa Mitaka's backstory requires basically zero adjustment, and literally zero if we allow devils to exist in this setting. (For those who don't know, the current Chainsaw Man arc is set in 1997. Kyushu is safe for a couple more years.) But it's worth covering that backstory and considering how that could affect her powers.

The most important event was her mother's death. Asa's neighborhood was attacked by the Typhoon Devil, and while she and her mom were running from it, Asa noticed a cat with an injured leg. Now is as good a time as any to mention that Asa, in her own words, always trips and falls at the most critical moment. And this moment was pretty critical.

Asa falls, and her mom has to stop to help her get on her feet. They keep running, but Asa's mom isn't quite fast enough to escape the Typhoon Devil's debris cloud. Asa blames herself; if she hadn't tripped, if she hadn't saved the cat, her mom wouldn't have had to stop and she wouldn't have been hit by that car.

Asa's dad had probably been dead for a while (he has literally never been mentioned, but Asa doesn't blame herself for his death, so he probably died before the Typhoon Devil attack), leaving Asa alone. She went to an orphanage, but she doesn't become friends with any of the other orphans, and the caretaker drowns the cat she saved. Asa is all alone.

Trigger Event

Now for the trickiest part to de-devil. Her class adopts Bucky, the Chicken Devil. Chickens aren't very scary, so he's an eggs-eptionally weak devil; the worst he can do is make terrible puns.

Most of Asa's class gets along with Bucky, with the exception of Asa. And it's made clear that Asa isn't close to any of them, to the point that only one of her classmates knows her name. (And it's the one that tries to kill her by the end of the chapter, so...not exactly bestie material.)

Anyways, the teacher says it's time to kill and eat Bucky, but the class says they refuse to. The teacher says good, that's what I wanted you to do. Everyone goes outside to play soccer. Asa hangs back until Bucky jumps into her arms, encouraging her to "come out of your shell" and play soccer. Also, he remembered her name, which as mentioned is remarkable.

Asa's protective aloofness and cynicism melt, letting her realize that her class wants to play soccer with her. She realizes that she was just jealous of the other students. Asa runs into the yard, still carrying Bucky.

I'd like to remind you of two important facts.

Asa always trips at the worst possible time.

Bucky is an absurdly weak devil.

Once Asa gets up, she sees Bucky's slightly splattered corpse under her. She looks up and sees her class freaking out about Bucky's death. A death, right after the teacher praised them about recognizing the value of life. A death, right as Asa was about to open up. A death which would make the rest of class hate her, which makes Asa hate herself.

Trigger Considerations

This is one of those Master/Stranger triggers. The trigger comes about from a mixture of isolation (alienating the entire class) and unwanted attention (the entire class staring at her, covered in Bucky's blood).

During the Falling Devil arc, Asa says that she's afraid of both solitude and companionship. Something always goes wrong when she tries to get close to people, and she ends up alone and in pain. So instead of a single Master/Stranger power which messes with other people's minds or senses, I think it makes sense to give her separate Master and Stranger powers, or at least distinct Master/Stranger aspects of the same power.

A few canon Strangers create duplicates; Othello, Blister, arguably the Custodian. Also, the Strangers document mentions duplicates as a "niche" sort of Master/Stranger power. Since Asa's self-loathing is a significant part of her personality and tied into her trigger event, having the Master half of her power involve sacrificial copies of herself makes sense.

As for the Stranger half...I'm thinking a mist that lets Asa teleport people within it. Specifically, the Trickster kind of teleportation, letting her swap locations with someone else. Obviously, this can be used to put other people in harm's way, make attacks that were meant to hit her hurt other people instead...the kind of thing that fuels Asa's self-loathing.

I want to add another restriction that makes it hard for her to use that power peacefully, but something like "can only teleport when she's afraid she'll get hit by something" feels too much like a reverse Armorface.

Power

Asa can create a greasy red mist. She produces it slowly when compared to the likes of Grue and Nyx, but she can cloak herself if she stays in one place for a minute or two. She can make the mist coalesce into solid (though fragile) duplicates of herself; they look almost identical to Asa, except that their skin is slightly redder and they have no mouths.

Asa controls her duplicates, and can see and smell through them. Her power helps her process this information, but not to anything like Skitter levels; she can direct several duplicates if they're all in the same general area as her and doing similar things, but only two or three if they're all doing things in separate rooms. Keeping duplicates solid requires a small but non-trivial amount of her focus; she can't assemble an army and only use a few at a time.

The duplicates disperse if they get more than a couple hundred feet from her. (The same is true of the mist, which is only significant if Asa moves.)

When destroyed, the duplicates release the mist—more than it took to create them, the exact amount depending mostly on how long the duplicate was around. If it was only around for a few seconds before getting shot, it barely releases more mist; if it survived several minutes, it can fill the room.

The mist is hard to see through; more than a couple feet and all you can see are silhouettes. It also muffles sounds and is unpleasant to stand in. It also lets Asa teleport. If both she and another person are engulfed in a contiguous cloud of mist, Asa can switch locations with them. Their silhouettes take a moment to change—that is, the target has Asa's silhouette and vise verse, until the mist shifts.

Conclusion

I don't have one.

[nekupen]

Nekupen #05: Half-Life (+ Gearbox campaigns)

Half-Life is the premier first person video game from company Valve Corporation. The game came about when Valve looked at the majority of fpses out at the time and thought "God DAMN this shit is boring". And it's hard to blame them as even with the occasional Build Engine game a lot of the FPS games consisted of running around in a maze lookin' for keycards and shooting bad guys. The narratives were also frequently not really explored upon and were only given minor attention within the game most of the time. Valve decided "Fuck that" and made a fps game that has a simple but interesting story and combat that actually requires thinking and strategizing. Also, janky 3D models. But it was cool at the time! The 3D stuff there was even more impressive than what was in Quake. No more funny lookin', non-interpolated animations! Valve would excrete this game on November 19th, 1998, which probably made some people lose NNN early because they blew their load at how fucking cool the game was.

In Half-Life you play as 27 year old theoretical physicist and NERD Gordon Freeman who works at the Black Mesa Research Facility where everyone is twice his age and the only women that exist are a recording and a hologram. Mr. Freeman's late for an important test so he suits up and blows up a microwave casserole and heads to the test chamber. The test fucks up and now the facility is overrun with aliens and malfunctioning equipment. And also OSHA-violating architecture but that was there before shit hit the fan. You gotta trek through the ruined facility armed with a crowbar and a handgun.

Then you find out about the military! Cool, they're coming to rescue everybody! Psyche, they're killing anything that moves. Luckily, their brains are about as small as their bullets, but you shouldn't underestimate them as they're a bit more complex than your average FPS enemy. If you're taking cover they'll throw a grenade and they know a thing or two about squad tactics and flanking.

Luckily Gordon is proficient with guns and the only non-suspicious thing you could derive from that is that if you learn how to use a handgun and an automatic weapon, you know how to use everything. Both the Black Mesa facility and U.S. military have a unhealthy habit of leaving dangerous weapons around instead of hiding them in secure boxes on high shelves. Funny thing about the weapons in this game, a good majority of them have alternate functions when you right click. Good example is the shotgun, with the left click being a single barrel shot and the right click being a double barrel shot, combining the coolest types of weapon in FPS games into one. 

Each weapon is good at a specific role but at least have some mild overlap. The Python Revolver and Crossbow  are powerful precision weapons, the shotgun is a powerful weapon up close….the Python revolver and Crossbow can also be used in close quarters and arguably can do what the shotgun can do but better. You have grenades you can cook and throw but they have shit physics so honestly, if its viable just use the SMG grenades unless you super value them, which you should because you can grenade jump and I’m getting ahead of myself-

(A showcase of the SMG.)

You have a crowbar that’s good for breaking the copious amount of crates left in the facility. Break literally any crate you’ll see as more often than not there’s goodies in them, like ammo or health and HEV batteries, which are basically like armor.

 You even get ahold of a alien weapon and I just have to say, I admire the invading aliens for their commitment to using a absolute dogshit weapon

Oh yeah, speaking of the aliens again, the invading aliens starts sending in their own troops as well and they and the military engage in war. You get treated to a lot of scripted events of them battling. Kill ‘em both, you don’t get one’s favor killing the other like its Shadow the Hedgehog. You launch a rocket, take some portals, go to the alien’s home, Xen, suffer through shitty level design, kill a space fetus, and set off an event that leads to even worse events. Oh yeah, and you get snagged by some stupid suit person that keeps you in a train.

So that’s Half-Life, it has some low points but its a fun romp all around. Fun enough for official expansions to come out and they’re made by dogsh I mean Gearbox Software. They made three expansions, one being exclusive to the console port for PS2 that they also worked on. The first expansion to hit the market is Opposing Force.

You play as one of the members of the U.S. Military that came to the facility in the base game. It’s actually specified here that this branch of the military is the Hazardous Environment Combat Unit, HECU for short. You’re Corporal Adrian Shepherd and you gotta get out. This expansion adds new weapons and enemies and hot take incoming: This game needs to take a shower. I sincerely feel like a majority of the new stuff feels under baked and it just leads to a sloppier feeling experience quality wise.

Also, a majority of the guards you’ll encounter are no longer of the Barney variety but rather; They’re Otises. They’re fat and stupid and I don’t like them :(. Also, G-man snags the protagonist again.

Next up on the expansion list is Blue Shift. It’s way shorter than Opposing Force and less impressive as well, no new enemies or weapons here. You play as Barney Calhoun, a Black Mesa security guard; and once again: you gotta leave. This time though you actually succeed in ditching and even manage to depart with some surviving scientists. I’ve beaten this expansion more than i have the base game or Opposing Force which probably has me put on a list. Also with this expansion came the HD Models pack and hot take #2 incoming: i like these :) Vote for the punishment I deserve for such a sin here: https://take.quiz-maker.com/poll4660882x69c54De6-146

Finally, there’s Decay. It’s exclusive to the PS2 version so I never played it but the gist of it is that its a mission-based co op mode where you have to solve puzzles with your plus one. The protagonists are Gina Cross and Colette Green - holy shit so they DO have women at the facility!

Speaking of multiplayer: Deathmatch! Yeah I neglected to mention it but I already kind of talked about it when talking about Half-Life: Deathmatch: Source. My thoughts there still apply, I personally am not a big fan of Half-Life’s deathmatch as I don’t think the combat and style of the game goes with the mode. But that’s just me.

Oh yeah also Half-Life: Source is a thing but I’m not talking about it anyway go play half-life please

[sirendeepity]

Books I've read in 2022

I'm starting this on 24/09 because I know the time this is going to take me will be too much, so (present-me note: it didn't take me too much, just an hour or so, I was just feeling lazy)

77/ 22 (updated to: /52)

The Foxhole Court ★★★★.5

The Raven King ★★★★.5

The King's Men ★★★★.5 (there's not a single right thing in here but yes?? Read this shit??)

The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue ★★★★ (not as life-altering as they said it would be but oh, Luc)

The Inheritance Games ★★★★ (the vibes were there but everything else was not? TikTok what are you doing?? At least it was fun tho)

The Hawthorne Legacy ★★★.5

Caraval ★★★★

Legendary ★★★★★ (Tella <333 Dante <333 Jacks <333)

Finale ★★★★★

House of Sky and Breath ★★★ (where do I begin: loved Bryce, but now not anymore, loved the story, now it's giving me the ick, Hunt was neutral, now I lowkey hate him, Tharion wtf is wrong with you, but the Rhun, Flynn, Dec trio with Ithan and the new (female) addictions? Immaculate. Ariadne is queen aND I WANT HER WITH FLYNN THEY ARE SERVINGGGG)

The Love Hypothesis ★★★★ (I read that this year? Mh)

From Lukov With Love ★★★

Shatter Me ★★★ (half a let-down, half a mind trip, but Kenji <333)

Destroy Me ★★★★★

Unravel Me ★★★.5

Fracture Me ★★★.5

Ignite Me ★★★★

Restore Me ★★★.5

Shadow Me ★★★★

Defy Me ★★★★

Reveal Me ★★★★

Imagine Me ★★★★

Believe Me ★★★ (I kept asking myself why Aaron was still a bitch until I realized that's how morally gray characters are supposed to be and not the watered-down version aka "I'm a bad guy until you learn about my trauma and how misunderstood I am, and magically I'm the perfect saint character to ever exist" and, yeah)

Flock ★★★

Exodus ★★★★ (we love rainy days, don't we baby?)

The Finish Line ★★ (useless, I hated it, it shouldn't exist)

Corrupt ★★★.5

Hideaway ★★★★★ (Nikova mf Banks ladies and gentlemen)

Kill Switch ★★★★.5 (Damon is a psycho by day and a poet by night, also he and Andrew are the same person in different fonts)

Conclave ★★★

Nightfall ★★★★★ (WillEmmy SERVED but BanksEmmy had so much potential, which wouldn't have gone to waste if someone *looks at Penelope Douglas* got her head out of Erika Fane's ass.)

Fire Night ★★★★

Punk 57 ★★★★

Addicted to You ★★★ (my very first comment to this was mean, like mean-mean, so I'm censuring past me and saying: I don't hate LiLo anymore, they're still nowhere near the top but we like some good character development here)

Ricochet ★★★

Heartstopper 1 ★★★★★

Heartstopper 2 ★★★★★

Heartstopper 3 ★★★★★

Heartstopper 4 ★★★★

Only a Monster ★★★★ (I literally cannot remember what happened at the end of this? Like, I remember, but I don't? Anyway I loved it and AARON MY GOODNESS you're a little Malfoy and I love this for you. I'll definitely do a reread before the sequel comes out)

House of Salt and Sorrow ★★★.5

Shadow & Bone (reread) ★★★.5

The Risk (p.s. I refused to give a rating to this because some things should just not be rated and whatever tf this series was is one of those things)

Sidetracked

Scarlet Angel

All the Lies

Paint It All Red (what in the jesus christ was that-)

Twisted Love ★★★.5

Twisted Games ★★★★

Twisted Hate ★★★★★ (JULESSSSS MF AMBROSE YES)

Twisted Lies ★★★.5 (I don't remember a single thing because I was too distracted by JulesJosh to actively read this </3 but one day I'll reread this the right way, pinky promise)

They Both Die at the End ★★★ (it's written in the goddamn title why was I surprised?)

Blade Breaker ★★★★ (Sorasa Sarn aka mommy-)

A Good Girl's Guide to Murder ★★★★

Good Girl, Bad Blood ★★★★★

As Good As Dead ★★★★.5 (mind-blowing. New fave series, new fave author, new fave everything. Don't sleep on Ravi Singh or I'll come for you)

Kingdom of the Feared ★★ (I am so not happy with you, Kerri, and I'd like to personally buy a vibrator for you because your horny inner teen should be left outside of your books, thank you very much)

The Final Gambit ★★★★★ (I was ready for the misery and this book managed to disappoint my expected disappointment? Make it make sense? Anyway Jameson might have gotten the girl but Grayson got me so a win is a win)

Every Heart A Doorway ★★★

Love on the Brain ★★★★.5

King of Wrath ★★★

If We Were Villains ★★★★.5 (De Nial is a river in Egypt, your husband is gay!)

Greywaren ★★★★ (everybody shut up I'm in my feels)

Cruel King ★★.5 (*sounds of dying*)

Deviant King ★★★.5

Steel Princess ★★★ (halfway through this one I got bored of the couple so I have little to no memory of what happened, so don't ask)

Twisted Kingdom ★★★

Black Knight ★★★★★ (Kimmy <3333)

Vicious Prince ★★★.5

Ruthless Empire ★★★★★ (SilverCole for the win I said what I said)

Royal Elite Epilogue ★★★.5 (the guys' groupchat 💀💀)

Addicted for Now ★★★.5 (it only took me 7 months!!!)

Kiss the Sky ★★★★

Hothouse Flower ★★★★

Thrive ★★★.5 (tandem reading this with the two before saved my ass because I could already see the other 7 months of nothingness)

Addicted After All ★★★.5

Fuel the Fire ★★★.5 (I was expecting a bit more from this but we can't always get what we want)

bonus: The Demon in the Wood, The Witch of Duva, The Tailor, The Too Clever Fox, Kill Joy.

Also, I am currently reading ("reading") Siege & Storm, The Atlas Six, and Long Way Down. I'll probably finish all of them in 2023 because I'm not in the mood to read anything right now *hides Wattpad and its trashy slytherin boys' fanfictions* so yeah, 77 books in a year is pretty damn good, isn't it?

[panigamermauser]

Cut stuff thoughts part3

Tav vs Dark Urge. Plus Minsc and Orin stuff.

I already ranted how hollow and non-existent Tav feels compared to Dark Urge or Companion Origins playtrough.

Companions and Durge all have deep story ties to main plot. Tav has zero anything. Like, I get the concept of Tav as blank self-insert, but... it's D&D, and any half-decent DM will find a way to include your backstory in the campaign. I know I am spoiled by my amazing DM who has been DMing since 80s. Still, very few DMs will not use their players' backstories against them! And game writers are our DM in this case.

Yes, you can say you are a [Baldurian] on some occasions, but it never amounts to anything in the game. 

Your character was gone for a month or so, and suddenly they are clueless about city, and not a single soul knows you?

Amnesiac Shadowheart has some things to say about locations. She has graffiti on the wall to mark her existence in the city. Has a quest. 

Astarion comments a lot about locations. Has a quest. 

Karlach was gone for 10+ years. People still remember her. And she is tied with the main story. 

Gale is not a Baldurian, but he still knows a lot about the city and has exclusive content there. 

Jaheira and Minsc has always been part of the city, as they should. 

Wyll is Duke's son, with all that it means for the plot.

Hermit druid of Halsin had cut content that tied him to city plot. It was cut, but at least it was planned, you know? And there's still a chance they will put it back in.

Lae, who is a literal fucking alien,  has more content the city than Tav who supposedly lived there all their lives and was gone for about a month only.

It was said in act1 that it is about ten days of travel between Grove and Baldur's gate in normal circumstances. So I added all the long rests I had to it. It ended up being barely over a month for me.

So why could not Tav (at least the one who consistently chose Baldurian dialogue options) start with a map with all points of interest already marked, at least? They surely would know every major location and at least some stores instead of 'discovering' them by stumbling there. Why no one knows Bard/Performer Tav? Or Folk Hero Tav? Or Noble Tav? Or even criminal Tavs?

We have several quests both with cops and criminal organizations for Criminal to be mentioned.

There are taverns and a music shop where Bard Tav could have gotten 'hey I heard you perform before'.

Noble Tavs could have gotten 'an honor to serve someone of your family' from vendors in Lower City.

There could be banter for Folk Hero with Gur or Hag victims or even Harpers.

Clerics and Paladins Tavs could be recognized in churches.

Even non-Baldurian/Outlander/Hermit Tav could have some background banter with opinions on being in major city.

And yet the best you can get is a generic inspiration point you share with your companions who already have more content than you?

You can kill every single companion on sight, and the game will still care more about them than Tav. They are/were an objective part of the world even if the PC never talked to them.

Even Durge still existed in the world of Tav. You can find their corpse in Orin's bedroom. so everything in Durge's backstory objectively happened. They existed and mattered!

But if you do not play Tav - there's simply no Tav in game's world. And never were. Tbh at this point I want to make Astarion's, Wyll's and Durge's Guardian to be Wysteria. Just so she could exist in the world and be remembered by game characters. Like, they could see a sexy bard perfown and think 'WOULD' at least once.

But apparently Tav was not meant to exist originally. So it explains it.

I wonder what made them decide to implement castrated Durge character as a separate person. I just want to know why, that's all. It is too late to change it now anyways.

I wish they either committed to Tav and Durge being different people and added proper unique content only Tav will see. Or just not bothered with Tav at all. I hate half-assed approach.

If they wanted to avoid spoilers of Durge being Bhaalspawn during early access... Why? First two games had Bhaalspawn main char. Literally no one would be surprised it's Bhaalspawn again. It's the whole fucking THEME of the series.

Also, the second they said on stream that Durge suffers from severe case of homicidal ideations, literally everyone who knew a single thing about Baldur Gates games said 'and here's our Bhaalspawn'. So what was the point in secrecy?

I just want to know _why_ at this point. Hope writers can explain what they were thinking with making worse Durge as a separate char.

And it would make so much more sense that they planned Minsc to be in Act1 too because of it. Like, imagine Minsc comforting Durge. Being an angel to Butler's demon. 

Butler pushes you to commit crimes. Minsc is there going 'Resist! I used to have a friend just like you. It can be done!' That would have been so good!

But ofc it all would be pointless for Tav, who for all gameplay intends and purposes never existed in the world. So I get why they changed it.

And it's a shame. Having Minsc since Act1 would have been wonderful💖

Same goes for Orin's cut content. Imagine her hounding you since act 1. Because she realises she screwed up and her Bhaalsib is still alive.

Also, her vs gith'yanki would have been an amazing story arc overall. Like, Big Bad Three control an illithid elder brain. Which does make gith'yanki their enemies by default.

And it would be even better for players who keep Lae alive (or play gith'Tav!). Like, it would make kidnapping Lae in Act3 so personal! And the amount of psychological torture she could dish out to Lae/gith'Tav by tadpoling the dragon! Would have been so delicious!

Please put this part back in! 🙏