#whenever i try to think about how grade school works in the city im just like WHAT like. i just dont understand

[undiagnosed-adhd-and-chamomile]

TW// Stalking, obsessive tendencies

I want to talk about how I think Simpbur became so unhinged and stalkerish

Simpbur and Argbur are about 4 years apart. When they were little, most things were fine for a short period of time until Argbur went into 8th grade (Year 9 for the brits) at around the age of 14. He became a lot more concerned with social status and being like by his peers and higher-ups.

Argbur wasn't a teachers pet persay, he was the kid who would go "uhm ACTUALLY-" and correct literally everyone whenever he had the chance. He had a huge ego.

As a result of his obsession with being liked by everyone and being better than everyone, he started to act more harshly to his younger brother, Simp. He was much less patient than he was with him before, making Simp go try to find comfort in other people (peers, classmates, online, etc.)

Once Simpbur hit middle school, his friends became more concerned with social status as well, and dropped him too, leading him to develop abandonment issues and a possessive nature to a toxic degree.

No one talked to him for years due to his mannerisms until high school, in homeroom he shared a desk with a girl named Sally (she will be the e-girl in question), who was the first person to be nice to him and openly talk to him in years.

He already thought she was pretty before, with her long salmon-pink curls, her caramel-colored skin, her india green eyes (yes that is the actual name of the shade of green im talking about), and her fashion taste (he had always had a soft spot for the e-girl style), but now, he thought she was absolutely godlike.

In the beginning, it was nothing more than a simple crush, but as she began talking with him more and more and being more friendly towards him, he became obsessed.

With the way she spoke to him (by that I mean just basic human decency and kindness that she displayed to everyone else), in fact, the fact she spoke to him at all made him think that she was sent just for him.

And he treated her like she was too.

Leaving anonymous love letters in her locker, putting little gifts on her desk every morning, all these innocent gestures soon became much more...stalker-ish.

In his senior year he began to take some of her things on purpose. Sometimes asking for pens and pencil and never giving them back, taking her jacket off the back of her chair and stuffing it into his backpack when no one was looking, her pencil case entirely, or just the contents and replacing them with red and pink origami hearts, you get the gist.

Eventually, after they graduated, they lost touch. Having lost what he thought was his soul mate, he became severely depressed. He had developed a kind of one-sided dependent relationship with Sally that she had no idea about. He didn't bother telling his brother about it, and he no longer lived with his parents. So he was basically on his own.

However, while working at a small pizza place in the city years later, he immediately recognized her and his feeling came rushing back. At this point, this is when he began to stalk her. Following her home, taking pictures of her without her knowing, etc.

And now here we are. I just needed to brainrot for a bit about the guy. Off I go again.

[autisticiyami]

crazy? i was crazy once. they locked me in a room. a rubber room. a rubber room filled with rats. th

LISTEN TO MY AUTISM-INDUCED HEADCANONS BOY. i think about him a criminal amount i have his entire life planned out to fit with that ososan repainted idea i never did anything with that goes along with 80skun. do u see the vision. no? well ill show u. welcom to my freaking twisted evil mind. rant incoming.

also im gona be hopefully updating this semi-frequently as i draw more stuff and actually feel like explaining stuff. this post will be my Iyami Autism Diary now.

i dont have specific sources on any of these rn bc im writing this on my computer and also bc its probably something i saw once and didnt bother to save or anthing so. bear with me here.

-baby iyami. loveless child. born by a mother who always knew she would be better off without him and sharing the sibling moniker with an unironic sociopath older brother. emotionally neglected and naturally socially inept due to autism, along with like.. looking like that. you know he was torn to shred by everyone. japanese kids are RUTHLESS his entire elementary/middle school experience was getting his face dragged across the concrete and his lunch money stolen. i imagine he starts to become rlly jaded and outwardly mean as a defense mechanism in like 2nd/3rd grade, finally realizing that this shit isnt all sunshines and rainbows lil bro and that no one likes him. he went to school with both honkan and kaoru, honkan he would always get into scuffles with but kaoru was like the only kid that ever genuinely attempted to be nice to iyami. read: attempted. because iyami has bpd at the ripe age of 7 and a half and screams at him whenever hes around for no reason other than that hes really scared of him being a genuinely kind person. hes a fucked up kid in a fucked up situation surrounded by nothing but apathy and misunderstanding of how he works and thinks and wants. the scar on his face comes from an incident with his older brother who i imagine got so mad at him one time that he chased iyami around with a knife threatening to slit his throat open. luckily (or probably more unluckily) he just sliced the side of his face open. that was the first and last time that iyamis mother actually worried for him. and by "worried" i mean get mad at both of them for fucking around like that and then not taking iyami to get stitches because "he'd be fine."

-iyami's highschool experience is. slightly less horrific. mostly because hes kinda just accepted that everyone in the whole world hates him and at some point realized he should just live out of spite to piss everyone else off. he never really had any career dreams mostly since the only career he realistically could have was wage slave in the city, which would be like sending him to death row for him. due to his autism and prolonged abuse from all sides, hes become kind of an expert at knowing how people work, though he doesnt necessarily understand any of it. he realizes that he would much rather be a backpeddler on the streets than a corporate slave, so when hes kicked out at like 16/17 for being literally just a curseon his mother at that point hes right out there trying to charm his way into any way to make money. first couple years were difficult, i imagine he just. didnt finish highschool due to being homeless immediately. he always had a kickass sense of style though, and maybe bc he was younger he managed to pull off charm much more successfully. honestly i dont have too many any specific ideas ab this era sowwy... bc it kinda just exists as "the part before chibita" which speaking of

-his twenties and thirties is spent like the exact same way. like the autism is strong in this one hes very content with just being the worst. but thats only because he literally sees no other way for him to live because its all hes been offered to do by life. quite fucked up! but that leaves him with a great optimism and positive "nothing in life matters!!!!" attitude. i actuallyyyyy dont know exactly how to span this next part.... but i was thinking that he met chibita when the kid was around 6 and iyami was 30. iyami just kind of... adopts him? as a weird sort of nephew. but at the same time iyami is in a perpetual state of childishness so sometimes chibita is like the parent/uncle to iyami. theyre so strange. but speaking of iyamis childishness Yeah theres some side effects of prolonged neglect and trauma since first memory surprisingly!! iyami kind of aged backwards, having to mature early to try and protect himself and keep some level of sanity, he was never really treated like a kid especially not by mother and brother or even other kids. now that he's an actual adult his brain has sort of flipped over, now stuck in a weird area of feigning immaturity in every situation that isnt immediately "life-threatening" in his eyes. all that to say that iyami is agere and is basically regressed somewhat at all times and it just varies depending on the situation.

but yeah this era. a couple years after meeting chibita he ships himself off to the city suddenly hoping to be able to make something happen there Kind of an early mid-life crisis moment. and boy it is not great! this part is where i dump the rest of trauma on him but you dont get to hear that. something something tougou's crime ring. after like a bit under a year he ends up coming back and... HOLY FUCK IS THAT A REFERENCE TO THE FIRST EPISODE OF OSOMATSU-KUN 1988??? you bet your sorry ass it is. im literally so smart they shouldve hired me to make ososan dude.

-osokun '88 era happens ig?? his old situationship behated kaoru is a cop now apparently and he's stationed right in iyami territory. quite awkward! kaoru doesnt particularly like him 1 because like. cop/criminal dichotomy first of all. 2 because iyami was a cunt to him and honkan for seemingly no reason their entire childhood and 3 iyami seems to have a really weird complex of being mean and hating kaoru currently but also obviously going out of his way to get in kaoru's way. quite immature! i explained why that is though. kaoru in his infinite sweetnes though eventually just kinda feels bad for the dude because its kinda just pathetic at this point and also because he DOES know that iyami is actually a super cute sweet guy because there was one (1) time where as a kid iyami let his guard down around kaoru and played with him at his house after school just to be completely ripped to shreds literally and figuaratively by his classmates the next day when kaoru was acting super friendly with him and iyami just kinda blamed him for it for like 20 years. VERY pathetic! but he was like 9 dude. kaoru understands this and kinda just... lets iyami wreak havoc more than he would other people partly bc he still thinks hes pretty silly.

i have a whole big episode idea of the two getting together and probably hundreds of headcanons and ideas about the two together but tbh?? im gonna spare you and keep it as paraphrased as i can manage for both of our sanities. but watch me go back and edit this post or make a new one just infodumping ab everything about them.

but like yeah ig events happen. hey do u remember iyami's "daughter" who is actually his niece because there is no fucking way in any reality that this guy has procreated?? well she comes in sometime around here becasue her father (still an untreated aspd) kind of doesnt give a shit and neither does her whore mother and they choose to dump their kid off with uncle iyami for the summers now. yay!! i also have a lot of headcanons and stuff ab her (her name is hiyori btw) but thats for another post.

iyami's family turns into basically him, his husband, and his two (sometimes three) (some not actually legit) (and one is gone when it isnt the summer) neicephews. isnt that awsome??? i cry and scream and throw up just thinking about it. sometimes iyami is the nephew but thats awesome. sometimes a family can be some gay man and an orphan that is his husband's nephew and his husband's actual niece, his husband's lesbian best friend that is basically an aunt at this point, and his husband who is sometimes also his nephew/child because of cptsd and they are all autistic. truly beautiful stuff.

and yeah thats. that. like i said i'll be updating this with better explanations of stuff and hopefully actual art But this works for now!!!! no one wanted this but the world got it anyway. you can thank me later.

[oflgtfol]

how does high school work in the city?? do yall have open campuses?? like can you go anywhere during lunch? the idea is fucking unfathomable

[pwarkluv]

❝ idk you yet ❞ - p.js

park jisung x reader | angsty, fluff | 1.6k words 

WARNINGS | TW: mentions blood, abuse, drug and alcohol abuse, smoking, lowercase au, non-idol au, high school au, badboy!jisung, mature language/cursing, reader is like an angel sent from heaven for him, jisungie just in need of love :(

SUMMARY | being an outcast has him wondering if he’ll ever be happy. cue you, the new girl, stumbling into his life (literally).

AUTHOR’S NOTE | inspired by the song “idk you yet” by alexander23! also AHHH this is my 100 followers special fic :) THANK U LOVES FOR 100 IM SO SHOCKED CJSBFKEJD <33 the writing is a little crappy because i’m currently on my period and my patience for sitting down and writing this went down halfway through lol but I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, ENJOY THIS JISUNG FIC BC JISUNG MY BABIE AND SO ARE YOU GUYS!

whenever anybody thinks of park jisung, they think of the chains and dark clothing he wears. they think about the faint smell of smoke and men’s cologne that follows him wherever he goes. 

they think of the boy who grew up on the wrong side of the tracks. 

but what they don’t think about are bruises on his face he fails to hide whenever he walks into school, the dejected look on his face whenever random people give him disapproving looks, the way his smile slowly faded into a permanent frown wherever he went. 

jisung quickly accepted his reputation at school and in their little town, not having enough energy to feel insecure about it like before.

the only group of people that even remotely cared about the boy were his best friends in the whole entire world, nct dream.

they were outcasts just like him, the most “fucked up group of boys” in their town (the people’s words, not theirs).

see, they were your typical bad boy group straight out of your typical fanfic. bad grades, smoking in their free time, getting into fights, always being late to class; not a single person had hope in them.

but behind their scary and intimidating facade, all seven boys were big softies with misunderstood hearts and difficult backgrounds.

people were just too dense to look into it, only judging them based on their looks and personality on the outside. 

❝ how can you miss someone you’ve never met ❞

love was a foreign thing to jisung, the only form of love he’s ever felt being from his friends. his parents were… interesting to say the least. 

jisung’s father was a hard-core alcoholic, his mother being a major druggie. with no siblings in the house, jisung was usually their main target to push around and beat up.

and so because of this at a young age jisung learned to distance himself from other people and found different ways to release stress.

he started smoking when he was 14, the warm and hazy feeling of the smoke entering his lungs comforting him.

if jisung humored himself enough, maybe smoking could count as his first love. it was always there for him, never leaving him alone even if he wanted to quit. 

he relied on it knowing it was the only constant in his life. 

now of course the boy has heard of proper love, love like in the movies or shitty romance songs he hears on the radio.

and he won’t lie, there were moments he thought about what it felt like to be in love. but he knew that would never happen, at least not in their small town anyways. 

he just wanted to be loved. 

jisung would never admit it but sometimes he’d be jealous of the old couples walking down the street in their own world like it was just them two against the universe. he was jealous of the happy kids running around, their mother’s and father’s fondly smiling at their child. he was jealous of all the “normal” kids in his neighborhood. 

jisung wanted that, craved that. 

but most importantly, the boy wanted love.

❝ cause i need you now but i don’t know you yet ❞

everything hurt. 

his head, his body, his mind, his heart; everything was in pain.

jisung walked down the empty streets of their city, a trail of blood following behind him as he accepted his fate. the boy was 99% sure he had a concussion and at the very least had a few broken ribs. 

he felt like this was the end, and he was ready.

-

wandering aimlessly around town, you decided to take a late night walk to familiarize yourself around the area. you had just moved into the city a week ago, spending all seven days trying to help your family unpack and rearrange your cozy new home. 

now that you were finally free of the smell of tape and the dust of the boxes, you decided it was best to get to know the place you were living in. 

the autumn air seemed to settle at night as you shivered, cursing yourself for not bringing a jacket of some sort. the sight of a convenience store up ahead of you brought you relief as you rummaged through your pockets wondering if you had enough money for ramen.

your steps became excited as you found a couple dollars, fondly thinking about what type of ramen you should buy. you became so lost in your thoughts you didn’t even notice the poor boy who was staggering in front of you, or the trail of blood he left behind. 

-

jisung pushed himself to reach the convenience store a couple feet away from him, in desperate need of supplies to at least try and fix himself. 

if it didn’t help in any way then oh well, maybe death was indeed an option. 

grinding his teeth though the pain, he did not expect to feel a small body bump into him. had he been at his regular health, jisung would’ve easily been able to keep still but because of how much blood he was losing the boy was knocked down like a bowling pin.

“holy fuck.” jisung cursed the feeling of the concrete floor colliding with his ribs. he didn’t even notice the girl who had bumped into him sitting on the floor dumbfounded, freaking out over his state.

“oh my fucking god.” the girl said, capturing his attention. jisung glared at the stranger, mentally acknowledging the fact she was pretty. 

but her being pretty won’t get you anywhere, he scolded himself. she’ll leave you just like everyone else.

“a-are you okay?” she said, eyes glancing at his black eye. jisung rolled his eyes, already annoyed. “does it look like i’m okay?” he replied, his deep voice catching the girl off guard. 

“just, fuck off.” jisung said closing his eyes as he laid back down on the floor, knowing he couldn’t force himself to get up anymore. he didn’t even have to open his eyes to know she left, hearing the sound of her footsteps walk away.

the boy sighed as he laid idly on the floor, wondering what sin he committed to lead him to where he is now. not even she wanted to stay, the tears threatening to fall as his thoughts buried him alive.

“why can’t i just die?” jisung said out loud, asking no one but himself.

“because i won’t let you.” a voice replied as jisung forced himself to sit up in confusion. it was the same girl he had bumped into, but this time she had a first aid kit with her. he gave her a lost look despite knowing what she was here to do. 

jisung’s mind just couldn’t wrap around the fact that a total stranger would even bother to help him. 

“now sit up.” she said softly as she bent down to open the box, the boy slowly followed her instructions. “i’m sorry this might sting.” she said though jisung didn’t mind because she was much prettier up close.

-

the next ten minutes were you trying to fix his wounds against the shitty chairs outside the convenience store.

jisung didn’t even bother mentioning his broken ribs, not wanting you to freak out. you cleaned up what you could and the boy was beyond grateful for that.

you subconsciously rubbed his back in a comforting way whenever you’d apply alcohol to his open wounds, trying to ease the sting. you held his hand for him to hold and though he was a big boy and had a high pain tolerance, he still gave it a squeeze just to keep your hand there.  what the actual fuck is this feeling, jisung asked himself as he watched your determined figure work on him.

it was cold and in order to better work on his wounds, the boy offered to give you his hoodie which strangely had no traces of blood on it. you gladly accepted, the faint smell of blood and his cologne engulfing you up. 

the sight of you in something so big and so him made his chest swell in pride.

jisung couldn’t even formulate a sentence as you cursed at the time once you finished patching him up, fleeing the scene before he could say anything with a small smile, his hoodie still on. 

❝ and can you find me soon because i’m in my head ❞

the thought of your soft hands on his, your voice, your whole presence; everything about you couldn’t seem to leave the poor boy’s mind. it was now monday, and waiting for his class to start already made him want to go home.

if only i got her name, jisung daydreamed with his head resting on the palm of his hand. the classroom was loud and bright, people occasionally giving him looks but the boy didn’t mind. 

“jisungie~ did you hear we have a new kid?” jaemin asked, poking the boy’s cheeks. the boy only gave him a pointed look before sighing. 

“hyung i don’t really care.” jisung replied, looking back out the window. 

jaemin only gave him an offended look before grumbling a bit. “i don’t know maybe you will.” he muttered under his breath as their teacher walked into the room. 

❝ yeah i need you now but i don’t know you yet ❞

their homeroom teacher stood in front of the class, jisung tuning out his voice. the boy once again sighed as his teacher called for their attention, explaining they had a new girl in their class. “now make her feel welcomed,” he said before turning towards the door.

“y/n, please come in.” the teacher said and jisung almost fell out of his seat when he saw you walking through the door with the same smile you gave him a couple days ago.

“hi i’m y/n and i hope we can get along.” you bowed to the class, a familiar hoodie you were wearing catching his attention. 

isn’t that mine, jisung thought to himself as he bit back a smile knowing you kept it all along. 

[pastelgoogie97]

How Do I Tell A Girl I Want To Kiss Her? |jjk

hi guys!! sorry for being away for so long, but i wanted to thank you for showing ‘i thought we said no yelling at 3 am’ so much love!!! i had to post this from my phone so im sorry if there are any errors:/ HOWEVER, i hope you guys really like this post and again i appreciate all the love my other drabble got!!

genre: first date and first kiss FLUFF

pairing: collegestudent!jungkook x collegestudent!femalereader

word count: 2.5k

warnings: mentions of an abusive ex-boyfriend (if you SQUINT)

—————

Y/N looked at herself in the mirror for what felt like the fiftieth time. She kept changing her outfit and messing with the hair she’d spent hours on out of pure anxiousness. She didn’t know what she was so nervous about. Sure, she hadn’t been on a date with a guy in a while, but she never felt as nervous as she did for this one. Then again, her date was going to be with Jungkook.

Jeon Jungkook. The boy she’d caught feelings for that worked in the coffee shop down the street from her apartment. At first, she thought he was adorable considering he was only two years older than her. She also thought she saw him around school a couple of times on her way to class. He seemed like the quiet type, but once he warmed up to her, he found the courage to not only become a friend of hers but to ask her to get dinner with him later tonight.

“Girl, don’t stress. You look, gorgeous babe,” That was Serena’s voice over the FaceTime call. Y/N knew that Serena genuinely meant what she was saying, but she couldn’t help but feel a twinge of doubt and think Serena was just saying it because they were close friends.

The sound of her apartment door snapped her out of her nervous haze and all she could do was freeze. After Serena coaxed her into opening the door, she wished her best friend good luck and hung up the call. Y/N looked down at her outfit once more before opening the door. God, she must’ve looked like an idiot. Did she open the door too fast? Did she seem desperate already and she hasn’t even spoken to him?

“W-Wow, you look beautiful,” Jungkook’s soft voice spoke up, the rustle of a bouquet shifting her gaze to his outstretched hands in front of her.

“Oh Jungkook, they’re beautiful, thank you so much. You didn’t have to get these,” Y/N silently cursed at herself for speaking too fast, but seemed relieved that Jungkook hadn’t called her out for it. Most likely out of politeness.

“The flower shop was on the way here, so I thought I’d get you some,” That was a lie. The flower shop was a solid block and a half away from her apartment in the opposite direction from which he came, but he didn’t mind keeping that a secret from her.

After a bit of small talk, Jungkook grabbed Y/N’s hand and lightly squeezed it. His mind went foggy at the simple contact their hands were making and he found himself smiling dopily, chuckling airily when Y/N started to swing their intertwined fingers.

Once they made it to his car, he opened her door for her and quickly shut it, jogging over to his side to take them to the restaurant he’d made reservations at. Y/N smiled and twiddled with her thumbs in her lap, struggling to find the confidence to look at Jungkook without wanting to scream. She didn’t want to mess anything up with him. According to her ex, she’d done enough of that even after they got together, so she was going to make sure she’d get it right.

“You feeling okay?” Jungkook interrupted her thoughts. Then again, when didn’t he? “If you feel sick or anything we can reschedule Y/N, you won’t hurt my feelings.”

The girl giggled and let out a shaky sigh. “No, I feel fine. I’m just nervous, I guess.”

Jungkook couldn’t help but smile. She was nervous to go on a date with him? She obviously couldn’t see how much he was shaking when he handed her the flowers. He must’ve been pretty good at hiding his nerves.

“It’s okay to be nervous, don’t feel like it’s wrong to feel weird about this whole thing,” Jungkook began. “You don’t even wanna know how scared I was to ask you out. I honestly thought you were going to tell me no.”

Y/N giggled. His heart fluttered at the sound and he made it his sole duty then and there to make sure she kept smiling and laughing all night. Laughing always made his nerves unwind, so maybe it could help with hers as well.

“Thanks, Jungkook,” She smiled. “I’m glad we’re doing this, I’m excited to get to know you better,”

That was all the reassurance Jungkook needed. Before she could say anything else, he pulled out of his parking spot and started heading over to the restaurant. It wasn’t one of those high-end classy restaurants, but he also wanted to make sure it wasn’t the McDonald’s down the street. He’d been very careful in finding a place that had a very broad menu so she could find something that she liked without having to force herself to eat something she didn’t really want. He’d asked Yoongi to help him prepare the second she told him yes.

“So, do you like working at the coffee shop?” Y/N queried, her eyes watching the bright lights of the city drive past in fast blurs of color.

“Yeah, it’s helping me pay for my dorm’s rent and everything, plus all my coworkers are really nice,” Jungkook rambled. “Plus, I got to serve you every time you walked in, so I can’t help but love that place,”

Y/N smiled and shook her head, making a comment about how cheesy that was. He giggled and tried to defend his point by saying that he was being completely honest, but she couldn’t help but giggle louder. The conversation carried on until they got to the restaurant. Before they knew it, they were getting out of the car and walking into the establishment hand-in-hand.

After they were led to their table by the hostess, Jungkook pulled Y/N’s chair out for her and pushed her in, his eyes settling on the soft flesh of her flushed cheeks at the action. He then sat down and got settled before looking up at her. She still looked a bit shifty, so he decided to make a funny face to break the thick layer of ice in between them. Once she laughed, he knew that he would be able to talk to her.

“Okay, so I want to know everything about you,” Jungkook stated boldly. “If you feel uncomfortable with anything I ask you, just let me know and I’ll ask something else, okay?”

Y/N nodded and felt herself relax. He was so reassuring and it’s almost like he knew how nervous she was. She gave a silken smile and leaned back in her chair a bit.

“Ask away,”

—————

They’d already gotten through their appetizer and entree’s, debating on whether they should order dessert before they paid the bill. Jungkook had found out so much about Y/N as did she about him. From the time she got perfect attendance in first grade to what major she was in, Jungkook had found himself drowning in so much adoration for the girl in front of him.

“Wait, so Tae, Jimin, Namjoon, Yoongi, Jin, and Hobi are all living with you?” Y/N inquired genuinely, watching Jungkook nod and sip on his sprite. “That’s crazy! Are you all close?”

“We’re like brothers. Not even because we’re living together, but because we always help each other with everything and it’s literally like we’re all related to each other. We do everything for each other and whenever one of us is in trouble, we always manage to get them out of it,”

Y/N felt her heart sigh adoringly at his statement. He genuinely cared about his friends and something about him being so caring made her want to ask him to be her boyfriend right then and there. She was having such an amazing time with him and talking to him felt like second nature. She couldn’t remember the last time a boy made her feel this comfortable and safe.

“Did you ask them for tips on where we should go tonight?” she chuckled, watching the crinkles form next to his eyes when he smiled.

“God,” he scoffed. “I asked them if I was insane for wanting to ask you out,”

Y/N furrowed her eyebrows with a grin. “Why would you be insane?”

“Because you’re so out of my league, I didn’t think you’d even think of me as anyone more than the guy that makes your coffee before class every morning,”

She looked down at his hand and hesitantly grabbed it in hers, rubbing her thumb along his knuckles sweetly before meeting his gaze.

“I’m not out of your league Jungkook,” She began. “If anything, I’m out of yours,”

Jungkook knew that was a flat-out lie, but he wasn’t sure if she knew it was. Either way, he shook his head with a chuckle and thanked her for the compliment. Just when he was about to ask her another question, their waiter came back around to ask them if they wanted dessert. Jungkook sent a look to Y/N as if to ask her if she wanted to eat anything else and she simply shrugged her shoulders.

“We’d like the check please,”

The waiter walked off to fetch their bill and Y/N held her full stomach, laughing when Jungkook did the same and slapped his stomach. They both giggled and kept their conversation from earlier going, wanting to pass the time until their bill came back.

Jungkook paid for everything despite Y/N’s protests. He helped her down from her chair and made sure they weren’t leaving anything that belonged to them at the table before placing his hand on her lower back and ushering her out of the restaurant. They got back into his car and Y/N couldn’t help but smile like an idiot the second he started the engine.

“Before I take you home, did you maybe wanna go get some ice cream? I know this really good place not too far from your apartment,”

“That sounds good! I love ice cream,”

Jungkook nodded with a smile and turned onto a different road from the one to her house. They found themselves parked in front of a really small ice cream shop and walked inside. It was a tiny place, yes, but the flavors were stretched out along the right wall, and Y/N couldn’t help but rush up to the glass like an elementary school girl, trying to see which flavor she wanted most and what toppings she wanted to put on it.

“Jungkook! You’re not going to introduce me to your date?” A voice piped up from behind the counter, slightly startling Y/N.

Jungkook grabbed her hand and smiled, ushering her over to the cash register where she was met with none other than Kim Taehyung. She smiled at the boy and gripped Jungkook’s hand a bit tighter, watching the two of them interact but not really paying attention to what they were saying.

“Hyung, this is Y/N, Y/N this is Tae,” she shook hands with Taehyung and felt a small smile spread across her features when he complimented her.

“So, what flavor do you guys want?”

—————

The two of them waved goodbye to Taehyung before leaving the store with their ice cream in their hands. They both got a cone and Jungkook put every single possible topping on top of his while Y/N settled for oreo crumbs and cookie dough bites.

Now, the two of them were walking up to Y/N’s apartment and she felt downhearted that her date was going to be coming to an end soon. They stopped in front of her door and looked at each other, giggling as she pulled out her keys.

“Oh no,” Y/N frowned. Jungkook tossed her a worrisome look, asking her what was wrong. “We didn’t finish our ice cream yet!”

Jungkook furrowed his eyebrows, clearly not following where she was going with her comment. “Looks like you’ll just have to come inside and finish it before you go!”

The boy in front of her smiled and rolled his eyes, nodding his head as she unlocked her door and allowed him to step inside. She turned on the light in her kitchen and walked over to one of the chairs at her table, watching him take the seat next to her. She looked up at him with hearts in her eyes as she continued to finish her ice cream.

“You have ice cream on your nose, dork,” Jungkook chuckled as he grabbed a napkin to dab at her nose.

Y/N looked down at her ice cream and giggled, pressing the treat up to his nose and letting out a light laugh. She grabbed the napkin he used on her and struggled to contain her giggles.

“Oh no, you have ice cream on your nose,”

They continued to tease each other like this until they finished their cones. Sadly, Y/N found herself walking Jungkook out of her apartment so he could go home. They stopped outside her front door and looked at each other, hoping to give each other the rundown of how they thought the date went and decide if they wanted to go on another one.

“I had an amazing time with you tonight Y/N” Jungkook smiled, looking down at her. “I really want to do this again with you, if you don’t mind,”

Y/N smiled and bit her lip to contain the girlish squeal that wanted to come out of her so bad. “I would love to do this again, actually, as soon as possible,”

They both giggled and went silent, looking into each other’s eyes for what felt like an eternity, enjoying the comfortable silence that fell between them.

“I should probably get back home now, but I’ll text you as soon as I get home so we can talk about going out again. Sound good?”

Y/N nodded and looked down at both of their hands getting warmed up. She felt a bit of heat burning the roses of her cheeks and she tried to get rid of it before she met his eyes again.

The second their eyes locked, Jungkook stooped down to her height and pressed his lips against her own. They felt soft against her skin, molding with hers like the last piece of a puzzle. A wave of warmth crashed over both of their bodies as Y/N’s hands traveled to the back of his neck while Jungkook’s hands placed themselves firmly at her hips, gripping them tightly as he brought her against his chest.

It felt like the way it was described in the movies. Y/N felt her legs buckle, her eyes fluttered shut, she felt like the world wasn’t such a scary place as long as she was in his arms. He felt the exact same way. He couldn’t help but yearn for the feeling of her lips to remain on his at every hour of the day. It may have been their first, but damn was he sure it wouldn’t be their last.

They pulled away for air and looked at each other with flushed faces and ragged breaths. They giggled and pressed another light kiss to each other’s lips once more before Jungkook looked down at his phone. He really had to leave now, as much as he didn’t want to.

“I’ll text you when I get back to my dorm, okay?” she nodded. “Goodnight Y/N,”

“Goodnight Jungkook,”

[i-simp-for-gintoki]

Visiting Yuji in Tokyo

“yuji x reader where she was childhood friends with yuji and its basically the friends to lover sort of thing? and basically reader is visiting tokyo and meets up with yuji for the first time in months?? bonus if gojo and megumi are there :)”-anon

Damn its either super short or long no inbetween huh? Sorry if this isn’t exactly what you wanted! Some of the characters are little ooc (when are they not when i write them-).This turned out much much longer than it needed to be

You and Yuji have known each other since kindergarten

He’s such a sweet kid its always really fun to hang out with him

You guys play lots of video games together and are basically inseparable

Constantly reading manga or watching anime its great

Your parents disapproved of you hanging out with a dude all the time but you could care less

Why should you only be friends with your own gender? Thats so stupid

You always wondered about why yuji had such great strength and speed but he says he was just born that way

Hes just built different

Around middle school his grandpa’s health had dropped and was moved to the hospital

You did your best to make sure yuji stayed in good spirits and often visited the older itadori with him

He’s not the best at wording things but hes always there for emotional support

Maybe it was around 7th grade you noticed something was different around yuji

Like he himself hasn’t changed but whenever you look at him your heart just melts

Your thoughts or compliments seem more filled with love for him and thats when you realized you started to fall for him

Thinking the crush would go away you didn’t act much on it

Oh what a fool you were

Around 8th grade yuji had started acting kinda weird around you

He’d be much more easy to fluster and tenses up for a second if you ever make contact

You confronted him about it and cue the very awkward and middle school like confession

“I really like you!

You were so happy you confessed back and said that the only reason you didn’t before was because you feared to ruin your friendship

He says even if he somehow didn’t like you back that something like that wouldn’t effect anything

From then on you guys are such a wholesome couple

All the cuddles

No fancy dates just casual arcade or movie sort of things

His grandpa gave him a hard time but approved of your relationship

Throughout 8th grade summer and the beginning of highschool everything was going great

But a few months into highschool lots of things happened

Yuji’s grandpa had passed away, he and his friends in the exorcist(?) club had gotten hurt and after that night he had weird markings on his cheeks right below his eyes

And to top it all off now he was supposedly moving to tokyo??

“Yuji why are you moving away? My parents would gladly take you in you know”

He tells you he can’t explain why which breaks your heart

“Who are you staying with then??” he stops for a second and it pains him to lie to you. “A distant relative of mine, he works at a private school and thats where i will be going from now on.”

“But what about us?”

And so you guys decided to do a long distance relationship

Every night when you can you call and chat for hours

But thats not enough

You want to be held or hold him, you want to just cuddle or atleast be in the same room

It pains you to have a relationship through a screen and you grow respect for those who do

Trust isn’t an issue since you know yuji wouldnt even think to cheat at all

Probably doesnt even know what the word means

But after a few months you decide to go to tokyo for a few days

With the help of your parents you rent a room in a hotel and head there

Were just gonna pretend your parents are super super chill(and slightly uncaring like my parents would never let me) and lets you go to a whole city by yourself for several nights

You were super nervous and excited

Its your first time visiting a huge city like tokyo and its gonna be the first time you see yuji in months

Itadori was super excited that you were in tokyo

So excited that he got lost trying to head to the hotel you were staying at

After an extra hour you guys finally meet

He walks through the hotel lobby doors and gives a smile and a wave

In an instant you tackle him in a hug which he GLADLY hugs back in

After just holding each other for a while he decides to show you around

Hes still clearly learning the area himself but he’s very excited to show what he does know

“The place over here makes amazing sushi! Oh! And over here they sell little action figures! Oh oh and over here the steak is kinda bad but its cheap so its worth it! And-” you could only smile as he pointed in random directions with one hand, the other was busy holding yours

Buying food from a bunch of random vendors and wearing silly getups you guys take loads of pictures

Tons of hugs and cheek kisses

Yes its frowned upon to be touchy and stuff in public in japan but honestly you guys could care less

The sun was setting and you guys were currently sitting at a park munchkin on some crepes when you turn to him

“Yuji, do you think i could visit who your staying with? I’d hate to impose but i just wanna know if your in good hands”

His chewing pauses

Its not like he didn’t want you tell about jujutsu

But he doesn’t want you to be apart of that world, he wants you to stay as safe as possible with no harm ever headed your ways

With him being a vessel for sukuna gojo had told him that he and his friends could potentially be targeted

Theres a reason sorceres put up cloaks when engaging in battles and its so normal civilians can continue living in peace without the knowledge these monstrosities actually exist

“Mm its a bit sudden and he’s out on a mis-er meeting right now so maybe tomorrow?” he says

You frown, you can tell he’s lying but he wouldn’t do it without a reason

“Fine. But Yuji. Just know that if you ever feel unsafe or want to come back your more than welcome too. There will always be a spot for you at my home” you say hugging him

You both kinda forgot you were holding crepes and when you pulled away from each other laughed as the ice cream and sauce was smeared all over your shirts/jackets

He walks you back to the hotel and says goodnight with a kiss

The next two days went by in a flash

Just spending time with itadori, even if it was just sitting in silence has been the most fun youve had in months

He had showed you many places and has boughten many small trinkets for you to remember

Your phone has grown about 300 photos just from the past couple days with him

It was about midday of your final day in tokyo and so you both wanted to make the best of it

You both where sitting inside a cafe exchanging stories and just chatting when suddenly two people walked in the cafe

One was very tall and had spiked up white hair and was wearing a blindfold, and the other had spiky/messy black hair

You didn’t think much of it at first but did question the blindfold

‘A fashion choice?’

Turning your attention back to yuji you gave him a soft smile as you listened to his ramblings about a manga

“I love you” you said cutting him off

Immediately his face turned red and whatever he was just saying turned into stuttering nonsense

Before he could respond he let out a short yell when someone placed a hand on his shoulder

It was the two dudes who walked in from earlier

“So this is what you’ve been doing.” “Fushiguro! Gojo sensei!”

The shorter one who looks yuji’s age started talking about how it wasn’t good to turn his phone on mute and go out the whole day

The tall one gives you a wave

“Sorry to interrupt your date but we gotta take yuji away for a bit” he says grabbing yuji’s collar

“Wait who are you guys?” you ask and they pause to give short introductions

“Fushiguro Megumi.” “Gojo Satoru, nice to meet ya miss girlfriend” “How did you know??” Yuji says making gojo laugh

“Its pretty obvious, you didn’t do much of a job hiding it” he says pulling yuji a little bit more.

“O-Oh im L/n Y/n, nice to meet you” you say realizing you forgot to introduce yourself

As the three chatted along with each other, you sat in silence as you tried to remember where you heard gojo’s name from

‘Oh yeah, he’s the one who yuji described as his relative. Even if it was really fast since he tends to change subjects whenever i ask’

“Wait Gojo? White hair...blind fold..are you Yuji’s relative?” you ask making both of them pause

They both turn towards yuji who gave a sheepish smile

“Thats me, im his mothers little cousin” Gojo said, a very quick and random asspull

“So why does he call you Gojo-sensei instead of uncle…Satoru?” “Well if im his moms cousin that would make me his cousin once removed wouldn’t it? And he calls me sensei since im a teacher at a school he goes to”

“And what about you?” you ask the other boy

“A classmate.” he says in a very short and uninterested tone

“Welp lets go” Gojo says dragging yuji but he quickly resists

“Wait wait! Sensei can i please stay? Today is her last day here and i don’t know when i will be able to see her again”

The teacher and student stares at each other for a long time

You have literally no clue what the blindfolded man could but thinking its so hard to read him

Then again you just met him so

Gojo sighs and lets go of yuji

“Just this once, and only because im the greatest sensei you’ve ever had. Lets go megumi. See ya miss girlfriend” gojo says walking away with a wave

Megumi looks surprised but follows him “really?” “Yeah yeah its fine, its only a couple of grade 3’s anywa…” as their voices faded when they left the building you gave yuji a look

“Are you going to get in trouble?” “im probably going to die in training…” “huh?” “nothin”

The rest of the day you guys hang out and its mmm

Yuji would be such a good boyfriend hes so wholesome

When its time for you to part he give you a big hug, kiss and ‘i love you’

You do the same and tear up a bit

With one final photo you head back to your home town

You make it a mission to visit tokyo more often and yuji tries to visit you whenever he can from then on

[beckhcm]

rudy pankow, cis-man, he/him */   have you seen BECKHAM “ BECK ” CARLYLE lately ? yeah, i heard they're TWENTY-THREE years old and a WAITER now in charleston city. i mean, i don’t know if it’s their CAPRICORN vibes or that they’re -IRRESPONSIBLE and -MANIPULATIVE but also +SOCIABLE and +RESOURCEFUL but they remind me of THIS LIFE I HAVE by THE WRECKS. here’s to hoping they don’t cause too much trouble around here. 

hello !  i’m  dani and this is my emotional support dumbass beck-  pls be nice to him he’s trying his best. if you’d like to plot give this post a like, hmu on discord ( 𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐢 👻   *𝘯𝘰 𝘣𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘭𝘶𝘬𝘦#5701) or tumblr ims.  xoxo gossip girl .

                BASICS !!

full name:  beckham “beck” francis carlyle

birthday:  january 16th, 1998

hometown: manhattan, ny.

sexuality:  bisexual

positive traits: charismatic, sociable, intelligent & resourceful.

negative traits:  irresponsible, selfish, aloof, & evasive

moral alignment: chaotic neutral

songs that remind me of him:  scumbag by goody grace, hotblack by oceanship, decided to break it by marianas trench, to be so lonely by harry styles & bad habits by fidlar

                BIOGRAPHY !!

once upon a time he used to wear his name with pride. his parents, sebastian and lilith carlyle were two of the most powerful people in new york. his father was a powerful business man with political influence while his mother worked for the AHRQ. they used to say the kid was spoiled rotten, being their only child he got everything he ever wanted, from the latest toys to a heard of nannies ready to meet all of his demands. his mother tried to make a good boy out of him, however, due to her packed schedule, she was hardly ever home. it didn’t affect him though  - or so he says-  he understood that his parents were important people, it was okay for them to miss birthdays, christmases, and piano recitals as long as he got to keep his lavish lifestyle.

like every other rich kid he went to private school, he was smart enough to get decent grades and rich enough to pay off teachers when it was needed. he never cared for people outside of his social circle, he wouldn’t spare you a second glance if you didn’t have money or connections. charismatic to those with power and an arrogant prick to those he deemed to be beneath him.

march 27th 2020 he woke up to someone banging on the door,  beck went down to the kitchen only to find his father in handcuffs. his mom held him and told him not to panic, that it was a mistake and it would be over soon. a day later their name was plastered all over the news. his father was nothing but a thief in a nice suit, he'd been stealing millions of dollars from charities and other government agencies to various bank accounts overseas. most, if not all of their fortune was acquired by screwing over regular hard-working people. overnight they became the most hated family in america, reporters blinded him with camera flashes whenever he dared to leave the house. a month later all of their accounts were frozen, and not too long after that they lost everything.

the fall from grace was humbling, he went from having everything to not knowing whether he'd be able to afford food for the rest of the week. tired of living in a city where everyone knew about his dirty laundry,  he sold whatever he could and used the money to move to charleston. now he has to live with a roommate (wink wink wanted connection)  and work at a shitty restaurant just to make ends meet.

              PERSONALITY  !!!

right now beck is angry; at his dad, at the world, and at himself. now that he’s living outside of his bubble he’s realizing what a fucking tool he used to be. that being said, he’s nowhere close to being a saint, there’s still a sense of superiority he can’t quite shake off.

🎶 arrogant son of a bitch who can’t admit when he’s sorry 🎶

he’s fun to hang out with but hard to be friends with. he expects people to love him without doing much to deserve it. no one ever taught him how to love properly so this is all a learning curve. he’s very codependent which is why people tend to rotate in and out of his life every few years.  

if you were to meet him at a party you would think he’s an open book, he’s very good at conversing and making you feel like you’ve been best friends for years, however that’s all bullshit. he’s reserved about things that actually matter, he doesn’t like to talk about himself or his family or what happened in new york.

big dummy energy when it comes to basic life things. he grew up with people doing everything for him so now he’s learning how to be on his own. this boy can’t cook, clean, do laundry, or even shop for groceries. it’s definitely getting better but he’s still the type to set the kitchen on fire while making ramen.  ( picture paris and nicole in a simple life )

as far as relationships goes, he likes to fuck around without committing to anything. there’s a lot of self hatred going on right so how can he trust someone to love him when he can’t even love himself ?

btw full name him and he might punch you in the face js

W A N T E D    C O N N E C T I O N S  !!! ( link here )

P I N T E R E S T  !!! ( link here )

[overheardatthecontinental]

Kinktober Day 19: Vampire

If Helen was being truthful, which she often tried to be, her new neighbor was… odd. 

For starters, she had never seen him move in. One night, she went to bed and she swore the house was empty but when she woke up and opened her curtains, she could see furniture inside.

He was a night owl in the truest sense of the word. She couldn't remember ever seeing him before the moon rose but he was nowhere to be seen in the morning before work. Even on the weekends, there was no evidence that anyone was in the house save his parked car in the driveway.

After two days, the house was under construction. Every single window was replaced with tinted windows and soon she cannot see into his house. Not that she was spying. Not at all. She was just curious.

Another thing was that damn car. She looked it up and it cost as much as her little house.

That, factored in with the cost of installing tinted windows, he had to have money. Plenty of it. So why was he living in a small cottage in the suburbs?

It takes a week before she actually catches sight of him.

He is tall and dark and handsome and familiar. She knows him, vaguely.

Often, she sees him at the bar she tends in the evening. He’s a bourbon drinker and a fantastic tipper. Quiet though. Most people who drink at the bar come to have someone to talk to. They crave the ear of anyone who will listen, otherwise they’d drink at home.

Not John, though. 

He didn’t even talk to order his drink anymore. She’d see him and pour him the bourbon and he’d murmur a quiet thanks. Often, she didn’t even see him leave. He stayed till just before closing and then he’d disappear into the night.

A few times, she’s seen him standing out near the alley. Always alone.

She waves from her porch and John walks over. 

"Helen." He greets, "how are you?"

"Im well, John. I guess we’re neighbors now."

He lips quirked up in a smile, "Couldn't stand living in the city any longer.”

But knowing who her neighbor was did not make him any less strange.

Yes, John was always polite but it didn’t take away from the strange feeling she always got when she was near. Even at the bar, she got the feeling that she should be wary around the handsome man. The hairs on her neck would stand on end almost in warning.

But it seemed so silly to be nervous. 

She blamed it on the attraction. 

John was a gorgeous guy and she couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt another’s lips on hers, let alone anywhere else.

Soon, she started seeing him out and around in the neighborhood. It wasn’t all that strange. Of course he would habit the same grocery stores and pharmacies that she did. But she noticed that the grocery cart was nearly always empty. He’d buy a pack of beer or paper plates and the like, but never once did she see him buying food.

He had to eat, she told herself. No man with a physique like that got away without eating.

She saw him at the park, as she walked home from the subway. Again, standing by a tree, not doing anything. He didn’t even have his phone out. He would just stand there, staring into the darkness.

Weird, but not wrong. Certainly not illegal.

He offered her a ride home, one night when it was raining. The subway wasn’t terribly far but the walk from the station to her house was long enough to get her soaked. She accepted, ignoring the hair on her neck and the feeling in her stomach and every other warning her body gave her.

"How long have you worked here?" John asks as they climb into the car.

"Eight years or so? I teach second grade during the day but teaching pays shit and I needed extra money to pay for supplies for my class. And I found I enjoyed tending bar." She buckles and looks over at him, "it's a bit of a hole in the wall. How did you find it?"

His lips twitch, "I used to spend some time there back in the day."

It's Helen's turn to smirk, "you make it sound like you're so old."

"I'm older than I look."

She looks him over, not that she hasn't a hundred times before, whenever he is looking away. He's fucking gorgeous. If she had to guess, she'd place him in his late thirties. Maybe early forties, but only because he had the look in his eyes of someone who had been through a lot. 

In truth, she knows nothing about him but his address and his favored drink.

“You know,” she says as they pull out of the parking lot, “I don't think I have ever asked,  what do you do for a living?”

“Not sure I'd call it a living.” John says and that smirk just grows, “I’m a bit… nomadic. I tend not to stay in one place for too long so I do a lot of independent contracting. A lot of investing.”

It doesn’t feel like a real answer, Helen notes. He’s said a bit but he hasn’t really told her anything and that throws her for a loop. What is he hiding?

But that isn’t the right question to ask aloud so she settles on, “Where else have you lived?”

“I was born in Belarus.”

And again, she is thrown.

He has no distinguishing accent. Nothing that indicates he is from anywhere but the United States. It’s not that uncommon in New York to find people from all over but still…

“I’ve lived in Italy. Mexico. China. Spain. Russia. Canada. France. Most recently, I was in Reykjavik but I always end up coming back to New York.”

Again, her mind is blown. Utterly and completely. And he’s tossing out this information like it’s nothing and it’s completely overwhelming.

She glances out her window, watching the streets go by. She watches a raindrop race down the window as she tries to process all that. She sees herself in the reflection and is utterly underwhelmed.

She’s boring. A school teacher by day, a bartender by night.

She isn’t unattractive but she’s a dime a dozen.

She’s never left the country, not even to go up to Canada.

And she’s sitting next to this quiet man who has seen the fucking world.

She looks past herself in the reflection and her heart skips a beat. She looks for John but cannot see him. She can see herself. In the back, she can see the reflection of the steering wheel, seemingly turning of its own accord. She can see the street behind them but she cannot see John.

She looks over, sharply, and sure enough, he is there. Driving.

Helen settles back into her seat, wondering anew if he can hear her heart racing.

Or if she’s being crazy.

Because she can see the other window. She can see the reflection of herself and of the lights passing by but she sees herself almost as if John isn’t there.

She looks at him and he glances over, almost to unassuming.

Helen swallows and sits back in her seat. “It must be hard.” She says, “Moving to countries where you don’t speak the language.”

“I speak them,” John says.

“Which?”

“All of them. I make it a point to learn the language of everywhere I’ve ever lived.”

“So you speak Russian and Chinese and French and Spanish?”

“Among others.” His words sound like a taunt. They feel like a taunt, although they’re not belittling. Like he’s challenging her. 

Helen can barely breathe.

No. 

She was being crazy. She’d had far too little sleep.

John had a reflection, she just couldn’t see it because she was exhausted.

And there was a perfectly reasonable explanation as to why his house and car had tinted windows and why she had never once seen him during the day.

She had to be exhausted to even be considering…

They pull into John’s driveway and Helen quickly thanks him for the ride before she rushes, nearly running, to her house. She closes the door behind her. And locks it. And the windows. Even the ones she normally leaves open on the second floor, she locks.

And maybe she’s being paranoid but she can’t help it when she sits at her computer and types “vampire” into Google.

She’s being paranoid.

At least, that’s what she keeps telling herself.

.

She stays up half the night researching a mythological creature.

And when she passes out at her computer, she dreams of John in old-fashioned garb. In old cities with cobblestones lining each street.

She dreams of John kissing her, intimately, in an empty hall. His head is buried under layers of fabric, between her thighs driving her utterly wild before she quakes around him. Only then does he move, and only inches, to where his teeth sink into her thigh.

She wakes up in her bed, alone, and gasping for air. 

It felt so real, she checks her thigh for marks and finds none.

In the fresh light of day, she shakes it off. She acknowledges that she was being ridiculous to even consider the possibility that John was a vampire.

Its utterly ridiculous.

But he's not coming out of his house.

She tells herself she's making the cookies as a thank you and not to try to get John out of his house during the daylight. In reality, its both.

They're chocolate chip, because who doesn't like chocolate chip?

She waits for them to cool before stacking them neatly on a plate and covering it with wrap.

He’s home. His car is in the driveway. It’s parked where he let her out last night so she’s fairly certain he hasn’t left since they arrived.

This is ridiculous she thinks again. She’s analyzing his every fucking move and John, for all his weirdness, has never been anything but kind to her. And here she is, acting like he has something to hide just because he’s eccentric.

Another part of her argues that this is just a thank you for said kindness. For saving her getting soaked on her commute. For that unending kindness.

She knocks on the door and waits.

Nothing.

She knocks again and listens intently. It doesn’t sound like anyone is coming.

Because the sun is out.

Or because he’s sleeping.

She tries one last time before she gives up and leaves the cookies on the porch, walking away feeling a bit defeated.

If he had come to the door, she could have assured herself she was being crazy.

But he hadn’t, so now she was feeling paranoid.

She took out a legal pad in her kitchen and sat down.

Side by side she wrote the most ridiculous list she’s ever even considered in her life.

Proof John’s a Vampire:

He’s from fucking Belarus

He spoke way too many languages for any person who lived a human lifespan to pick up. (Or he’s just wicked smart… Or lying?)

Hot as fuck

He doesn’t live in one place for too long (cuz people will notice he doesn’t age!!!!)

He says he’s older than he looks

Says he used to hang out at the bar but I’ve never seen the owner or any of the other bartenders talk to him

I’ve never seen him during the day

TINTED FUCKING WINDOWS. No normal person needs fucking tinted windows

Wealthy but won’t say what he does for a job?

Never seen him eat

Helen banged her head into the table.

Fucking ridiculous.

She was definitely losing her mind. And figuring out whether or not her neighbor was a vampire was not how she wanted to spend her day off, so she left the pad in the kitchen and went to read on the couch. 

Helen relaxed, reveling in the freedom of actually having a day to herself. She did her best to enjoy the time and not think about her attractive, weirdo neighbor.

She made dinner for herself and ate watching the news. When she was finished, she poured a glass of wine and relaxed back to some rerun of a cooking show she hadn’t seen before.

And then there was a knock on the door.

She checks her watch. It’s nearly eight and she certainly doesn’t have friends who would come over this late without sending a text.

Helen climbs to her feet, heart already racing because, of course, it’s after sunset.

Maybe he’s just doing this to fuck with her.

Maybe he’s just been lying and teasing and trying to get into her head like some sort of psycho. That had to be more realistic than the truth, she thinks as she goes over to the door.

She peers out of the look-see and sure enough, John is on her porch.

Does he just wake up and throw on a three-piece? She wonders, opening the door. Granted, he’s technically missing his suit jacket but who wears a dress shirt and a suit vest on a Sunday night? 

“John.”

“I wanted to say thank you for the cookies.”

“You’re very welcome. I hope you enjoyed them.”

The corner of his mouth twists, “Absolutely delicious.” John pauses, “May I come in?”

She feels her eyes widen and hopes that he doesn’t notice but he just fucking asked permission to come inside? That was a thing, right? That vampires need permission to enter houses?

He blinks innocently but it doesn’t feel at all innocent.

“Is everything alright?” John asks, “You look a little… flushed.”

She’s being ridiculous.

Helen shakes her head because John is not a vampire but she might be losing her mind. Maybe she needs to check herself in somewhere... “Of course. Come in.”

John steps through the door and the paranoid part of her wonders if she’s just made a terrible mistake.

John looks around and Helen wonders how she never realized how big John is. He’s tall and, without the jacket, she can see proof muscles on his arms that she had never noticed before.

“You have a lovely home.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. I truly appreciate the cookies and you thinking of me. You’re very kind.”

“No, thank you. I’ve made that walk in the rain before and it sucks.”

“I was happy to do it. In fact, I’m at the bar most nights. I’m more than happy to stay and give you a ride home on a regular basis.”

“I couldn’t impose.” And you kind of scare the hell out of me, “Can I offer you a drink? I have water, juice, and wine?”

“Wine, if you don’t mind. And it’s no imposition. Like I said, I’m there anyway. And we are neighbors, after all.”

Helen offers a small smile as she turns towards the kitchen.

His words seem nearly laced with honey and it both excites her and kind of disturbs her.

Everything about John, vampire aside, screams dangerous.

And she’s invited him into her home and he’s almost a bit too kind. She doesn’t know what to do with that and it feels like her brain is fighting itself about John.

The logical part of her is telling her to calm the fuck down because John has been nothing but kind. The paranoid part of her is screaming VAMPIRE VAMPIRE VAMPIRE. The primal part of her seems torn between telling her to run as far and as fast as she can because John is dangerous and tearing that stupid suit off of him and jumping him then and there.

Instead, she manages to ask, “What kind of wine do you like?”

“I prefer red.” And it’s such a simple statement but his words tumble out like a taunt that just sets her on edge even more.

Helen goes to the cabinet and pulls down a glass of wine, hands shaking ever so slightly.

She has an open bottle of pinot noir in the fridge and she pours the wine as carefully as she can. It sloshes a bit over the edge and she wipes it with a dishtowel, feeling her cheeks burn even more at the small spillage.

She turns to hand John the glass and nearly drops it at the full-on smirk that graces his stupidly attractive face. She left out the list and John is reading it.

“Hot as fuck, huh?”

And it seems impossible, but her face feels worse than when she has a fever. She’s certain she must be red all over and she has absolutely nothing to stay to it because what can she say? 

I know it’s ridiculous but I thought you were a vampire?

John steps closer, leaving the legal pad behind and he takes the glass from her hand and sets it on the counter behind her. With his other hand, he reaches for her chin and tilts her head up just a bit, forcing her to look into his eyes. 

He whispers, “You really are fucking clever.”

Her eyes widen at the implication because no. No. She was definitely wrong and John was definitely messing with her but he smiles. He really smiles, not just a smirk. He bares his teeth and Helen swallows at the sight of long incisors. 

Fuck.

“You should have trusted your instincts.”

He steps closer and Helen, as a result, steps back and finds herself completely enclosed. She is pressed against the counter, completely enclosed in one of his arms while the other trails down her neck.

She can’t run. She sure as hell doesn’t stand a chance if she tries to fight him. 

“Are you going to kill me?”

John tilts her head upward, “And why,” He bends his own head down, brushing his lips against hers but not kissing her, “would I even think to destroy such a jewel?”

His arm around her tightens and she is hoisted off the ground and into the air. Instinctively, she throws her arms around her neck to keep balanced and John smirks at her, almost victoriously.

Before she can say anything, he is moving impossibly fast. She closes her eyes at the rush of dizziness that fills her at the speed and opens them only as she feels herself falling. Her back hits the bed and she bounces, sucking in a gasp as she does.

And John is on top of her before she can even acknowledge what is happening, the quick turn in events that had her from scared to terrified to, fuck, John is sucking on her neck and she is horny.

A vampire is sucking on her neck.

She hears a wanton moan and, Christ, that must have come from her.

She presses her thighs together as an ache spreads down her body, warming her tummy and sending the blood rushing south.

John’s hands tear the fabric of her cotton shirt into pieces as he rips it clean of her body before doing the same to her bra. She doesn’t even complain as John lowers his head and sucks a nipple into his mouth. He rolls it with his tongue and teases it with his teeth. The fang toys with it, dragging down her breast and the sharpness makes her whine with a sick mix of pain and pleasure. 

And then it sinks into one of her veins and his teasing is suddenly a thing of the past as he sucks and swallows around her tender flesh.

Her hand jumps to his hair and Helen realizes, idly, that she’s encouraging this. Forcing his face against her, not letting him move even as her head feels dizzy.

A large hand slides down her body and into her sunday sweatpants. A finger swipes up her slit, teasing her clit and checking her arousal.

John releases her and quickly slides down her body, ripping her sweats and underwear off with the same vigor that he had done to her shirt. She’s certain they’re destroyed but she doesn’t give a flying fuck.

Not when John is plunging two fingers inside her and curling them just right so that she thrashes and writhes on the bed. John holds down her leg with his spare hand and continues his minstruations as he sinks his teeth into her thigh.

Helen shrieks, but not with pain, as John sucks on her thigh while his fingers dance inside of her. Helen isn’t sure which is more pleasurable, his mouth at her thigh or his fingers inside of her but she knows she has never felt like this. Lightheaded and pleasured and desperate and needy all at once. 

He sucks and swallows while his thumb rubs at her clit and Helen wonders if she’s actually crying because there are tears spilling down her cheeks at the wanton desperation of it all. 

Nothing has ever felt so good. So raw.

He could drain her of all her blood right now and she would probably say thank you so long as he didn’t stop toying with her clit or moving his fingers around inside her. She could definitely die like this and be happy. 

All of the sudden, he pushes up slightly off her thigh. Just as quickly, he descends upon her other, sinking his teeth into the femoral artery. John sucks at her flesh and Helen feels her head spinning all the more. 

Why does dizzy feel so good?

His thumb speeds up along her clit and his fingers roll against the spot inside her that makes her mind melt like cotton candy. Helen comes, crying out in surprise at how quickly John had been able to completely undo her.

She feels him swallowing against her thigh as she writhes beneath him.

He’s brought her pleasure to new heights and he hasn’t even begun undressing.

Helen reaches down and grabs his hair, tugging up.

It’s laughable, really, her attempt at strength in the midst of an orgasm but John acquiesces and releases her thigh from his mouth. Blood dribbles down his chin and she has the sick urge to lick it.

John climbs back up her body. He unfastens his belt, his pants as quickly as he can before pulling himself out.

Helen finds herself licking her lips at the sight of him but it’s quickly taken from her vision as John lays down on top of her body, angling the head of his cock towards her core. With a single roll of hips, he impales her onto his length and Helen finds herself arching her back, keening at the contact.

John bends his head down to her neck and she feels his tongue tease her pulse point before she feels the quick sharp of fangs digging into her throat.

His hips move against her, driving him in and out of her slick heat while he frantically swallows against her neck again and again.

She sees stars and she still isn’t certain what it’s from.

She’s lightheaded and it shows when she tries to lift her leg to wrap around John and she finds she can’t lift it. It barely registers, however, because his hand is between them again. He keeps thrusting, keeps sucking, but now his fingers are teasing and rubbing her clit and a scream escapes her. He feels so fucking good, everywhere, and his expert fingers are bringing her back to that height of pleasure.

John drives into her as deep as he can and Helen, again, feels herself falling further and further, through the stars and into the dark.

She can’t open her eyes but she really can’t bring herself to care.

She can still feel John, pistoning in and out of her and a small rip that sounds like something tearing open. Her head is tilted up and something forces her mouth open and places something against it.

“Good girl,” she can idly hear John whisper to her, “Swallow it down.”

And as he says it, she feels something pouring into her mouth. Salty and rich and warm. It fills her mouth and again, John urges her to swallow.

She does and she hears John’s quiet praises. “Good girl. Keep going. You’re going to be mine forever.”

Helen feels consciousness slip away.

And everything is black.

[wastelandcrown]

logan lark’s adventures in trying to appease his parents

CHAPTER 6: don’t lose ur head (the terrifying tales of the grimm monarchy)

Summary: Logan Lark is a fairly average high school student. By all means, he should be impressing his parents on all grounds. Except...he doesn’t exactly have a social life. So after his parents give him puppy dog eyes, he decides to join the local theatre's youth production. Good grief...His life is about to get weird isn’t it?

Warnings: Potential ooc behavior, Roman is a teenager who makes bad choices EXTREME edition, Remus being Remus, Intrusive Thoughts, Minor Bad Parenting, so much swearing it’s insane (If I miss something please tell me!)

Notes: This fic is based off an idea from @under-the-blue-moonlight. If you wanna be tagged in chapters, please ask!! I love this freaking chapter SO much but I’m really scared of how it’s going to be received. All feedback is extremely welcome!! 

Pairings: Intrulogical, Eventual Rociet, One-Sided Logicality, Platonic DRLAMP

Tagslist: @under-the-blue-moonlight @why-should-i-tell-youu2 @im-actually-ok @hauntedturkeycalzonedreamer @croftersjam15 @rainbowsixth @snaketho @wasinotwantedatthisexactsecond @a-soul-among-the-stars @sweet-razz-tea @the-cactus-lord

Over the course of the next month Logan learns that despite their reputations, Roman and Remus are the opposite of what everyone thinks of them.

Logan is the smartest person he knows, there is no way in hell he’d ever miss Roman’s multiple attempts to sabotage his role as Hamilton. Smart, and yet so oblivious. Each time Roman had tried to mess with Logan after he began cultivating a friendship with Remus he was miraculously saved from the torment at the last second. Remus is a hundred percent certain that Logan has no idea that he’s fighting off his brother at each and every turn. He’s not certain of much, so it’s saying a lot. There is a beautiful dichotomy in Logan’s logs of the events and the stories Remus tells about his brother’s scourge against his brand new ‘enemy’. On a page labeled ‘Roman Incidents’ in Logan’s succinct handwriting documents every incident through the month when Roman attempted to sabotage him.

July 20th - Roman tripped near my things in the drama room while holding coffee. When I went to check on my things, someone had removed the contents of my bag and filled it with around six pounds of glitter. If this happens again, throw the bag away. Glitter makes anything unsalvageable. You will keep finding it everywhere. 

Remus knew Roman had been planning something. Of course he did. Though they didn’t share a room anymore, sneaking into it had never been exceptionally hard. Neither had eavesdropping, when it counted. It counted now more than ever because Remus had become unreasonably attached to Logan and when he heard Roman talking to himself and mentioning the name of his favourite little nerd badly he knew it was now or never. It took two excruciating hours of sitting still and listening to get the juicy stuff. He almost got caught by their mother twice. She’d only been home for three days and she’d checked on Roman twice in one night. If Remus told her about the amount of effort he was putting into something she might keel over dead from shock. 

What a funny sight that would be to him. His mother, dead from the shock of his hard work to do something good, thumping onto the floor. He laughs a little, quiet enough to keep Roman from hearing. His brain supplies the rational next step of Roman running out of his room and distraughtly cradling their mother’s head in his lap. Roman sobbing. Roman blaming him. Roman screaming about how it was his fault. And it would be, if she died like that. Remus doesn’t think it’s all that funny anymore, but once the train of thought starts it can’t be stopped. He decides that eavesdropping isn’t fun anymore and makes his way to the kitchen, trying to shake the idea of his brother cursing him out for killing their mother out of his mind. 

It doesn’t really work, but he tries anyway. The kitchen is full of distractions, good and bad. The knives in the block look so enticing to his self-proclaimed ‘shitty-dick-wad brain’, but the cookies he nabs from the cupboard are so easy to shove into his mouth that he figures it evens out. He sits at the kitchen island and doesn’t even bother to turn on the light. It takes six cookies in his mouth at once before he can direct his thoughts somewhere else momentarily. How in the hell is he going to combat Roman’s plan? He spits all the cookies onto the counter as his brother walks in, flicks on the light, and sighs deeply.

“You could at least do that onto a plate.”

Remus just shrugs, so Roman speaks again, “How’s your evening been?”

“Before like...five minutes ago I was really liking it.” Which was true, Roman slides into the seat next to him and picks a cookie from the box.

“What changed?”

“Shitty brain,” He replies, “Y’know how it gets.”

“I do indeed. Do you need anything?” His voice is surprisingly soft with him, to the point where Remus has to give him a confused look before deciding what to say next. He figures out how to fuck with Roman’s plan in that moment.

“I wanna go to Party City and terrorize the night staff.” 

Roman only chuckles, Remus watches his twin put away the cookies and grab his car keys from the bowl on the counter. 

“Come on then, we can buy some of those plastic babies you like so much.”

As Remus is falling asleep later that night, his chest feels warm. He attributes it to the upcoming scheme-ruining scheming. It’s easier than admitting that that was the first time Roman had willingly hung out with him alone since elementary school. He knows the next morning that Roman is most likely buttering up because he suspects Remus knows. Which is...fair. Even if it hurts a little. They get coffee on the way to the theatre and separate. They both have important things to do. The best part about their somewhat rocky-relationship is that they always know where the other is in order to avoid each other. Remus knows that Roman has gone to see Janus and probably make heart eyes and pine over him like a dumbass. Roman knows that Remus is off drooling over his arch nemesis. Today it is more imperative than ever. During practice Remus manages to steal Logan’s backpack while he’s busy. 

He swaps the contents out with the six pounds of glitter he bought the night before and shoves Logan’s things into his bag for safe keeping. Nobody would dare look into Remus’ bag for fear of gore or weird pornography, even if he only has one in his bag at the moment. He’s shoving a small notebook in when he catches a title. “Hamilton Performance Experiment”. It takes literally all of his self-control not to immediately snoop. He makes it through, eventually meeting up with Logan and even carrying his bag to ‘be nice’ so Logan doesn’t pick up on the bag glitter. When Roman walks by with his coffee and “trips”, spilling his coffee all over Logan’s bag, Remus smiles. 

“Oh! Logan I’m so sorry! What a terrible accident!” Roman cries, ever the actor. 

Logan looks downright frantic as he lunges for his bag and rips it open. Glitter goes everywhere. Logan’s hair, Roman’s shoes, the entire dressing room floor. The look of distress fades from Logan’s face momentarily, returning full force when he realizes his things are missing. 

Remus pulls them out of his bag in secret, walking to the corner of the room, walking back and exclaiming, “What a good prank Roman! You must be taking some tricks from my book!”

When he hands the things back to Logan, Logan smiles. He decides not to ask about the notebook. 

July 27th - One of the props from the prop room was moved in with my things. I suspect Roman because of the look on his face when Remus took the fall for me. 

Just because he didn’t ask about the notebook does not mean it left his memory. By the time he gets in the car alone with his brother he realizes that Roman is pissed off at him.

“Couldn’t you have left it alone? How did you even find out!?” 

“I have my ways. Now shut up about it before I tell mom about that time in 8th grade-”

“Okay! Okay! I’m shutting up!” 

And he did. However that included no longer voicing his plans out loud. Which meant Remus had to get creative. He was very very good at getting creative. 

Dinner with their mother was much more quiet that week. Both twins brooding and not speaking with each other, their mother only prompting Roman to talk. It was too familiar in the worst possible ways. Remus despised his mother, but he knew how much his brother loved her. She was...well she was beautiful, intelligent, a very influential fashion designer, extremely supportive. Roman would go on about how perfect she was for hours. Sure, Remus could concede that their mother was beautiful, intelligent, and a very influential fashion designer, but whenever Roman talks about her he never says she’s at all a good mother. Especially not to him. He watches her laugh breathily at one of Roman’s shitty anecdotes from practice and decides he’s had enough of family dinner. He gets up and dutifully cleans his plate and places it in the dishwasher. The chef gives him a smile, and he smiles back. 

“Remus, dear,” His mother begins in her shrill voice, “If you’re not going to eat with us, at least go and shower. Your smell is unbecoming.”

Then she turns back to her food like she didn’t just attempt to insult him. Jokes on her, it takes a lot more than that to hurt his feelings. He still ends up forcing himself into the shower for thirty-five minutes that night.

The rest of the week he’s more tired than usual, which the others notice. He makes an effort to not be, he really does. When his mom is in town, everything just sucks. He hangs out with Janus three times and Virgil once to get out of the house and away from his family. The other nights he spends sitting outside the convenience store with a monster or two. He ends up calling Logan one of those nights out of need for company. Logan chuckles when Remus makes up a silly reason for calling that he can’t even remember now, but he can remember Logan’s laugh. He listens to Logan talk about the book series he’s been reading and he feels a little lighter. He never ends up finding out what Roman has planned, but it’s so easy when it’s happening right in front of him. Despite his lethargy lately, he feels a fire lit in him when the missing prop is found with Logan’s bag. 

Virgil and Janus are the only two teenagers with keys to the prop room. If Logan stole the missing prop, he would have had to steal the key. No one but the twins even knew Janus had a key, and Virgil was dead set on not letting a soul into the prop room. The idea that Logan, precious little innocent fucking lamb Logan, committed theft not once but twice enrages Remus. When they find it with his things, Logan is utterly baffled. Then he realizes the implications and his face pales. Roman calls for Thomas, spouting off about how Logan stole the prop and he should face consequences, when Remus laughs as loudly as he can. 

“Hah! You guys are so funny! You think specs could ever!? Guess my prank worked out pretty damn good if you actually think Mr.Goody-Two-Shoes could commit such a heinous fucking crime!” 

Thomas sighs, tells Remus to just ask next time, and leaves. Roman stares at his brother for a solid minute with his mouth slightly ajar. Janus and Virgil are both looking at him like he’s insane because it’s so obvious to them that Roman did it. Patton is looking not at him, but at Logan, with so much concern. And Logan...Logan stares up at Remus with the look of a small and confused animal.

“Did you really do that?”

“Of course I did! I’m the resident rat bastard, I have to cause a little recreational chaos.”

He’s pretty sure Logan believes him until they’re leaving for the day and Logan whispers a ‘Thank you’ to him as he walks by. He would have melted into the floor if Janus hadn’t put a hand on his shoulder and pulled him down to whisper to him.

“Why the hell did you let Roman get away with that?” Virgil is on his other side now with a scowl.

“Don’t know what you’re talking about JJ! I committed a very heinous crime!”

“Then why did Roman ask to borrow Janus’ key earlier?” Virgil asks, and Remus drops his smile to replace it with an annoyed look. 

“He just fucking asked for it!? I can’t even believe I’m related to that half-witted twit.”

“Yeah,” Virgil scoffs, “Not really the sharpest sword in the armoury, is he?”

“Please, we’ve known that for years. What I’d like to know is what are we going to do about it?” This quieted Remus, but made Virgil smirk a little. 

Janus continued, “After the backpack incident, and now the stealing incident, I’m half-convinced we have a brand new chaos demon in the group.”

“At least Remus’ chaos is fun sometimes,” Virgil mutters, “Roman’s just an ass.”

Remus gets away with being quiet as they talk until they get into Janus’ beat up old van. He doesn’t call shotgun, doesn’t slap the car's ‘ass’ as a joke, he just climbs into the back and sits there. He’s so quiet that Janus and Virgil are a little shell shocked. 

“Remus?” Virgil asks quietly and pensively, it sounds just like that soft tone Roman used with him last week. 

He’s quiet, Janus starts the car and clicks his tongue, “I’m going to shove Roman down a flight of stairs.”

“Don’t.” He manages, and the boys in the front seats go quiet. Virgil passes him the aux cord. 

He plays “Call Them Brothers” by Regina Spektor and Janus and Virgil know that tonight will be a very quiet outing. 

They’re sitting at IHOP drawing dicks on their pancakes in syrup when Remus’ phone rings. Janus and Virgil know who’s calling the second Remus sees the caller ID and smiles. 

“Evening Logie-Bear, why do I get the pleasure of hearing your devilishly sexy voice in this IHOP tonight?” Remus says and Janus groans loudly.

“You’re at IHOP?” Is the first thing Logan says, which makes Remus smile even brighter.

“Yes, sir! I’m with Virge and Janny too, you wanna say hi?” 

Logan sounds a bit contemplative when he mutters, “I was hoping you’d be alone...”

Eavesdropping Janus and Virgil make surprised faces, Remus smacks Janus in the arm, “Oh you were, were you? Why? Phone sex?”

“I wanted to ask for an opinion on a predicament.” Virgil smirks and Janus nabs his phone to speak for Remus.

“Remus would love to-Remus let me talk-You should come have some pancakes with us-Ow, watch the face!-and tell us all about how your science is going.” Janus can hear Logan hiding his laughter through the phone as Remus wrestles with him in the booth. 

“It’s more of a philosophical predicament.”

Janus nearly sees red, eyes widening and making Remus cackle,“Why in the world would you ask Remus Grimm about phi-”

It’s silent for a few moments then Logan hears a familiar voice. “It’s Virgil, we’re at the IHOP on 81st and Green.”

Logan laughs brightly, “I’ll be there. Order something for me.”

They spend the evening with breakfast for dinner, and the four get into a fairly heated friendly debate about moral ethics. Janus isn’t sure he’s ever had more fun in his life. When he’s driving away from Virgil to drop Remus off at home, he can’t help but smile at Remus’ improved demeanor. 

“Remus,” He starts after they’re alone, “I thought you and Roman were doing better, did something happen?”

“He tried to sabotage Logan twice for entirely selfish reasons, I wouldn’t care if he dies!” Remus dramatically cries.

“You and I both know that’s not true.”

They’re quiet the rest of the ride, and Janus gets out to give Remus a hug before he goes in. Remus ignores Roman’s questions about his whereabouts and locks himself in his room to try and keep his mood up. It doesn’t work, but he tries. He does. 

August 3rd - Roman gave me a “peace offering” in the form of lunch. I am led to believe he was attempting to give me food poisoning, as Remus ate the lunch and has now come down with food poisoning.

His mother leaves for her office in Paris on August 1st. Roman cries and hugs her, says he’ll miss her, goes on and on about how it’s so terrible how she’s never home. He does this every time their mother and father leave, he has since they were young. Remus couldn’t give less of a shit. His plan now was finding out what Roman’s next move was. Which was hard because they were back to avoiding each other like the plague. They’d spent a few months getting better at being brothers, then one of their parents shows up and ruins it. This time it was great, Remus would never admit it, but it was. Roman made an effort when their parents weren’t around, a few months ago he started doing things like making dinner for them both and bringing it to him, offering to do a load of laundry for him while he was doing it, being mindful of his volume when practicing his singing and acting, all these little things. 

He’d even started initiating physical contact again, which Remus couldn’t get enough of. Literally. An occasional pat on the back, a grab of his hand to pull him somewhere, a light slap to his knee or arm when he said something distasteful. Giving physical affection to Remus was something that seemed to be unique to Roman. It had always been like that when they were younger, and Remus didn’t think he wanted it to stop. Any time he thinks about it he always drifts back to his head against Roman’s knee a few weeks ago when Roman had carded a hand through his hair and then a few minutes later practically tackled him to douse him in perfume The shit smelled awful, but afterwards Roman had slung an arm over his shoulder and gave him a squeeze. That and the closeness with Logan kept him buzzing for the next two days. 

Now there was nothing again. It was like Roman could turn off his affection for Remus and pretend he didn’t exist. Remus tried not to be angry about it, he really did, but he couldn’t stop the fire that he felt when the other people on stage got his praises and affection. Both of them were incredibly clingy, but Roman was so much worse at hiding it and it made Remus nearly scream. He piled all of his affectionate behavior onto Logan, and Logan never really minded. He’d place his head on Logan’s shoulder, hold his hand on stage, sit pressed up against him offstage. He loved it, he did. He loved protecting Logan, talking to Logan, existing in the same space as the dork was exhilarating. He hated having to protect Logan from his brother. There was no way in hell that Remus would let anything terrible happen to Logan, but there was no way he would ever let his brother’s stupid selfish decisions fall back on him. He knows he shouldn’t give a single shit, but he does. 

His tiredness fades with his mother, but he’s still exhausted because Roman keeps trying to fuck with Logan when he knows damn well Remus won’t let him. The selfish ass. This time, Roman has the gall to pull his entire scheme in front of Remus. 

“Logan,” He starts, his affected air is slightly dim today and his hands are hidden, “To apologize for my unkind actions, I have brought a peace offering.” 

Roman hands Logan a little bag from a restaurant Remus swears he recognizes. 

“Oh, thank you.” Logan says quietly, opening the bag and pulling out a wrapped burger. 

Logan takes it out and inspects it as Remus wracks his brain trying to remember where he knows the packaging. It hits him right before Logan takes a bite. This burger is from the restaurant that gave Roman food poisoning a few months ago. It looks like the same burger too. At this point, Remus is half-convinced Roman is taunting him. He’s in a bit of a panic and doesn’t think before he snatches the burger and shoves it in his mouth.

“Remus!” Both call out, the wrapper is still on the end of the burger so he pulls it out then chews and swallows the thing whole. 

He coughs and sputters for almost two minutes after, then shoots Roman an awful glare. 

“What just happened?” Logan asks, extremely puzzled. 

Roman is gawking at Remus again, “Why did you eat that!?” 

“Fuck you that’s why, you horsefucking shiteating egomaniac bastard.”

Roman walks off in a huff, Remus lays on the floor. 

“Are you alright?” Logan questions, handing him a water bottle.

Maneuvering onto his side, Remus takes a sip and his throat feels miles better, “I just straight up ate a burger whole like a fucking snake, how do you think I am dipshit?”

“Hm,” He pauses to think, “Bad.” 

Both boys laugh, and Logan joins Remus on the ground.

“I am beginning to believe your brother has a vendetta against me.”

“No shit, Sherlock.”

Logan pauses, looking at Remus who is still occasionally wheezing.

“Are you alright...emotionally?” Remus wheezes and laughs at the same time, sounding something similar to a goose. 

“‘Thought you didn’t know much about those, poindexter.”

“I do not. However, as your friend I feel like it’s important to ask.”

Remus just sighs, closes his eyes, and blows a raspberry at the ceiling.

“Me and Roman are complicated.”

“I can tell.” Remus laughs, Logan really is something else. 

It’s quiet when Remus asks, “Do you hate him?”

“No,” Logan’s response is measured and confident like he’s asked himself this question a hundred times, “I don’t hate him. I think he’s got some things to work out, and is taking out his frustration on me as of late.”

He keeps talking, Remus covers his closed eyes with his arm, “More importantly, do you hate him?”

He almost rockets to his feet when Logan says curiously, “Or, more interestingly, do you love him?”

It takes him nearly two and a half minutes sat up and sipping water, watching Logan pack his things, to muster up the will to tell the truth. 

“Of course I love him. Nobody else is gonna fucking do it.” 

He could barely comprehend Logan’s response to his admission so he shoved it out of his mind with all the force he could muster, then waved a goodbye to him when he parted and left Remus with his mind. 

He ends up going home early because his awful decision ended up actually giving him food poisoning. He takes a sick day the next day, and spends most of the time feeling like shit physically and emotionally. His brain has kept tabs on all the shitty feelings and thoughts he’s had and is now playing out a full length shitty horror movie about his life and his dumb brother and his shitty summer crush. Then there’s that conversation with Logan. The last sentence is running through him over and over again. He keeps coming back to it, though he’s sure Logan didn’t even mean anything by it. Seventeen words and his world was sent spinning. 

“Ah, I understand, it’s hard to love somebody when they don’t act like they love you back.” 

Logan doesn’t even know the half of it. 

August 20th - Roman asked me directly to leave the production. Though I admire the effort, all it achieved was a quite awful night, and an angry lecture(?) of sorts from Janus. I do not believe Roman will be trying this tactic ever again.

Roman tries to apologize multiple times, but something angry and petty in Remus doesn’t accept any of them. They’re both getting more and more frustrated by the minute. By the time the thirteenth of August rolls around they aren’t on speaking terms again and everyone can tell that it’s taking its toll on them both. Remus acts out more than usual against people he doesn’t usually target. He scared an ensemble girl one too many times, to the point where she ended up slapping him. He deserved it, but it still stung. Roman poured himself into his role more than ever, but it only ended up stressing him out even more than usual. When his voice so much as wavered on stage it shattered his confidence. 

It affected their friends as well. Roman spent more time with Patton and Emile, avoiding Remus and Janus as much as he could possibly manage. Janus rolled his eyes but just resigned himself to the tech booth with Virgil, Remus, and Logan. The only good thing that was happening lately was Janus’ newfound attachment to Logan. The pair's insane intelligence and love of debate meant one was nearly guaranteed every other time they were in the same room. It was exhilarating to watch, and probably exhilarating to take part in. Remus didn’t much care for debates, but watching Janus and Logan go at each other with an occasional snarky comment or new suggestion from Virgil was making him grow a fondness for them. At this point there was barely anybody in the theatre who didn’t adore Logan.

The staff, the cast, the tech. Everyone adored him. He was smart, diligent, and hard-working. He asked questions, didn’t undermine others, and respected the entire cast's talent at what they did. It was magical to watch everyone in the auditorium drift under Logan’s thumb. Remus was included. They were saving Say No To This until near last because of the lack of dancing involved, but it didn’t even matter. Say No To This was not needed in Remus’ seduction plan because Logan seemed to gravitate towards him with ease. He is a damn good friend and Remus is determined to make that boy his bride. 

Despite his growing lack of sleep and reliance on caffeine, Remus is skating by just fine without anything bad happening. Until his brother decides to fuck with his life again. He’s on the thin line between being shitty in secret and full-on breakdown, Roman really isn’t helping his case. Remus is lounging on the floor while Logan reads in a chair next to the makeup mirrors. He hears someone enter, but isn’t bothered enough to move. 

Ever the polite, Logan greets the newcomer “Ah, Hello Roman, how are you?”

“I need to ask you something.” His brother asks, and Remus turns his head away from the noise. 

“Alright, what is it?” Logan sounds so measured and calm.

There is a long pause, “What is it going to take for you to realize you should quit?”

The calmness in Logan’s voice wavers, and Remus can hear it wobble, “Excuse me?”

“You heard me! I mean, it’s obvious I've been trying to get you to leave, so what’s been keeping you!?” Roman raises his voice near instantly, that same childish selfishness burns from his tongue. 

“It is none of your business.” There’s a dignified fire raging under his voice now, it’s like he’s been practicing for this. 

“You’re not even a good actor! From what I can tell, you’re entirely uninteresting and way too intellectual to be here!” Roman continues, Remus feels the urge to get up but he can’t find the will to move. 

“Roman, please think before you say something you regret.” Remus knows what Roman is going to say before it happens.

“No!” His brother is so typical, “You have no idea what this role means to me, why can’t you just leave!?”

That’s typical too, Remus opens his eyes and looks at the pair. Logan looks pissed off, Roman looks pissed off, and Janus is watching from the doorway. 

“I try very hard to give you the benefit of the doubt in regards to your debilitating egomania, but it is beginning to appear as if your whole sense of stability and purpose is built upon some false reality where you need to be the star at every possible moment. Go to therapy about it, and leave me alone.” Logan spits this in Roman’s face, then turns back to his book. 

Clenching his fists and staring at the ground, Roman looks almost defeated until he catches Remus staring and his face morphs into something so bitter he has to force himself to look away. 

“No. I will not leave you alone until I get this part. None of you have any idea how much I need it.” 

“Roman-” Janus speaks up daringly from his spot by the door, his tone is enough to warn him to stand down. 

Roman’s eyes are squeezed shut, his fists are clenched, “I know we have the same face, but I’m not a failure like my brother.”

That sends Remus to his feet and out the door before anyone can say a word. As he passes Janus on the way out Janus tries to stop him but he pushes past him, past everyone, and out the front door of the theatre. 

Janus turns on Roman in an instant, walking slowly into the room and shutting the door with purpose. Roman’s eyes are sewed shut and all the guilt he tries to push down floods him when he makes eye contact with his pissed off friend. 

“Roman, we need to have a talk.” 

[purplesurveys]

1115

survey by vintagekid

Name:  Robyn.

Happy with it? I am now, but I certainly wasn’t as a kid. Other kids were cruel and would tease me solely for my name, which made it hard for me to socialize. I got the same bad Batman jokes too many times and I also got called a boy. These seem petty now, but as a kindergartener adjusting to life in school, it had been traumatizing and made me wonder if my classmates were going to remain the way they were for the long run which no 4-year-old should be mulling about, really.

Do you wear stilettos? When I get the chance, which isn’t very often at all. But I do love stilettos.

How important are looks to you? I find this question very vague, but generally looks matter to me to a certain extent, like how I’d want to look nice and proper for a job interview or for formal occasions such as weddings. Relationship-wise, I also think I have to feel a level of physical attraction towards someone for me to consider seeing them.

How often do you download music? I don’t anymore. I stream all my music.

Can you name a philosopher? Socrates.

What would you do if two unicorns tried to whisk you off to candy mountain? I just looked this up and this is apparently in reference to an ancient viral video, like it was around before viral videos were even a universally-acknowledged concept. That said, I don’t have a clue how to respond to this lmao.

You became the deciding vote in an election, which party would you go for? I don’t base my voting decisions on parties because the party system in my country is a tragically broken shitstorm in which every single party rallies the same values and principles, just executed in their own – and usually poor and unsustainable – ways. I do my research on each candidate, see how they answer in debates, look at laws they’ve authored, see which marginalized groups they proactively support (if they do), and decide from there.

Do you have a bzoink account? I don’t but I’ve been a semi-regular visitor since like 2009.

How many phone calls do you typically make in a day? Zero. People usually call me.

What song are you listening to? Tell Me It’s Okay by, surprise surprise, Paramore.

Do you understand things others your age do not? I don’t know. Maybe. Everyone’s bound to understand some things better than others.

Do you hate people that label themselves? Why would I hate that? And why would their chosen label be my business?

How many windows do you have open? None. There’s plenty of mosquitoes at night, so even though the cold evening air would been pleasant to have we have to keep the windows closed by nighttime.

How superstitious are you? Not at all.

If you were in Harry Potter, which house would you be in? I’ve been told either Gryffindor or Ravenclaw.

Which comedian can always crack you up? It’s not a habit of mine to watch comedians.

Are you nagged about being on the computer too much? Not since I was a teenager. Since college I’ve been doing most of my work, if not all of it, through my laptop, and I think my parents understand that I have to use it all the time.

Do you feel bad about anything you've done lately? Nothing comes to mind, no.

What's your texting bill typically like? My SIM is prepaid, so it works the other way around. I put load credits in it only if I know I’ll have to call/text/surf regularly.

What song did you/do you want played at your wedding? Turning Page by Sleeping At Last.

Do you have a lot or hardly any lines on your palms? Idk, a decent amount I guess? I don’t think it hits either extreme.

What's your favourite word? Poignant.

Are you allowed to swear in front of your parents? Yeah. They’ll shoot me a glare sometimes, but I’m in my 20s and...they know they can’t really do anything about it anymore lol.

Do you eat apples? No.

What are your addictions? Coffee, I suppose.

What are some words you use in daily life? I use intensifiers often, like very, really, super, absolutely, etc. I’m also big on expressions hahaha like oh my god, seriously, for real, and ugh.

Do you look things up on Google constantly? Yes.

Where do you get your music from? Spotify. Sometimes YouTube if I wanna look for a leak.

What do you think of people with afros? That they are people with afros...? I don’t really know what you’re looking for me to say, lmfao.

--

survey by charey-chas

Do you like getting your picture taken? Not for the most part. My body instantly gets all frozen and awkward when a camera’s placed in front of me, which I hate because I do wish I could have more photos of myself around. Is your phone anywhere near you? It is not, actually. It feels great and I really should start making it a habit to keep it away from me entirely on weekends. Do you ever enjoy going to school? In my first school, I enjoyed going mainly (and probably only) for my friends; but Catholic school was predominantly a torturous experience. The rigidity isn’t something I look back fondly on, and it felt like being kept on a tight leash for 14 years. College was a lot more enjoyable in every way possible. I liked going to (most of) my classes and learning as much as I loved the vibrant org culture and the general freedom that comes with university life. Have you ever gone on a road trip? Lots. The Philippines is a relatively small country and unless you want to jump to a different island altogether, there are many provinces you can readily travel to by car.  Who do you get along with best in your family?  Nina, my sister. Then my dad. I clash a lot with my mom and I don’t talk to my brother. Based on your personality, what animal do you think you'd be? Cats and I don’t get along very well hahaha but I think I’m similar to them. Would you ever buy anything from an infomercial? Maybe once, just to be able to say that I have. Have you ever made a snow angel? No, because I’ve never seen snow before. Have you stayed in a hotel in the last month? No. We had a brief getaway in Tagaytay but we switched things up and went to rent a condo, instead of book a hotel room, for a weekend. What's your most comfortable outfit? If I want to go for comfortable, I usually go for my rompers or jumpsuits. Do you text or IM more? IM these days. Would you rather listen to music or play it? Listen. I have no music-playing skills whatsoever. Have you ever been in a hot tub? Sure. Do you like pizza? LOVE IT Are you sleeping in your own bed tonight? Yes. If not here, the couch. But most likely it will my bed tonight. Are any of your friends having a sleepover right now? I doubt it. Angela and Hans had an overnight stay in Batangas a few days ago for their Valentine’s shenanigans though, which I guess kinda counts as a sleepover. Have you ever been to a house party? I don’t think so. That’s something I missed out on in my college days, but I don’t mind. Do you listen to your iPod or the radio when you're in the car? I think I keep a good balance. If my phone’s battery is not very high I’ll rely on the radio; and sometimes I’ll sync my phone’s Spotify to the car as well.

--

survey by charey-chas

What song is stuck in your head at the moment? RAVI’s BUM. What's your fathers' middle name? He doesn’t have a second name, but I’m not sharing his legal middle name on here either. How many hours a day do you spend on the computer? On work days, I’d say 8-10 hours. On weekends, maybe a little slightly less than that since I do like getting off the laptop sometimes to rest my eyes. Could you live without the internet? People from the past managed to live without it, so I know I can. It would just be extremely inconvenient; and having been dependent on it for such a long time now, I would likely be clueless on how to navigate most activities. What's something you're really into? Learning about cultural differences!! That’s why reading survey answers has always been fascinating to me. I would love a website that dives into the various everyday behavior people observe in other countries, but the ones that do exist use like 20- or 30-year-old sources, so they aren’t even relevant at all anymore. What's the last movie you saw in theaters? Knives Out. Have you ever seen a movie in 3D or in an IMAX theater? Just once. It was Denise and Leigh’s 18th birthday treat and they brought us to watch Doctor Strange in 3D. Do you prefer skirts, shorts, or skorts? Shorts. Have you ever vandalized? Just a few school chairs in grade school, but otherwise I’m too paranoid for vandalism lol. What's the longest you've stayed up? Maybe a little longer than 24 hours. Who'd you have a sleepover with last? Gabie. When's the last time you baked something? Nearly a decade ago. Our oven was new at the time and I wanted to try baking cookies. Do you like to dance? When I’m alone. Do you scratch mosquito bites, even though you're not supposed to? Yup. Are you afaid of spiders or do you like them? I mean I’m not fond of them, but I also don’t scream and run away when I see them. I just don’t care for them for the most part. What's a pet you've always wanted? I’ve only ever wanted dogs, and now I’ve got two of them. Do you like mice? Not really. Would you ever get a tattoo? Sure. I’ve been considering it for a while now; it’s just a matter of being able to save up for one. Do you prefer to walk in the street or on the sidewalk? Street, if it’s bare and safe enough. Otherwise if I’m in a busy city with regulations and all I’d obviously rather be on the sidewalk. What's your favorite t-shirt? My CM Punk Best in the World merch. Who did you last think about? I remembered Deina when I was thinking about the tattoo question. She got a pawprint tattoo on her wrist shortly before her senior dog passed away and ever since learning about it I’ve also been thinking about getting the same tattoo. Do you like giving hugs? I love giving hugs and it’s an automatic response for me whenever I see someone I love, which is why Covid is such a torture for me. Do you prefer hardwood flooring or carpeting? Hardwood. Did you/will you get a car for your 16th birthday? No. I got a car when I was 17, around six months before I started college. Have you ever eaten a worm? No but I’d be willing to try.

[aidenoes]

Im kinda bored so this is a little story time about a toxic best friend i had for many many years

Tw : s*lf-h*rm, s*icid*l thought, forced coming-out

To make the story easier let's call her Fish.

So... it started in primary school, i had moved out into a new city when i was in 3rd grade. That's when i first met her and we never really talked much. Then came 5th grade when we actually became friends.

And middle school happened and that's when everything went downhill real fast. In 6th grade i was still friend with her and i tried to get along with her other friend who was a bitch at that time, and i was too, so we never got along (even tho she is now my best friend bc we realised how much Fish was toxic lmao). So i had made new friends and she had too but we still made up over time and the other girl wasn't hanging out with us anymore.

Moving on to 7th, there was a new girl that came at the school at the beginning of the school year (who is also my bestfriend, props to her for staying with me all these years) and Fish immediately started talking to her. Eventually we have a group of 5 friends :me, her, our boyfriends and the new girl. The thing is that there was a trend of s*lf-h*rming yourself just to pretend to be depressed and sad, and Fish was one of the people who followed that trend. Me, being an absolute idiot, had no idea of the gravity. Well, i mean, i knew it was bad but my bestfriend was doing it so it's fine right ? No, it was not and i almost gave in to but i was afraid to harm myself so i never did. And that example is just to show how much i copied her, i destroyed my relationship bc i wanted to be like her and my ex-boyfriend was so good to me. Her relationship was like an light switch, you never knew when they were back together or not. We also had a skype group and messenger group of just three people: me, her and the new girl. Me and the new girl would badly roleplay and she would tell me, and only me, that i was cringy and leave the group chat like that. And i had no right to tell her i didn't like something about her, but she could though ? I let it slip anyway. I thought i was really happy, then came the worst year of my school life.

8th grade. At this point, Fish and her boyfriend had broken since he apparently abused her (im not sure since she is prone to lying) but i was still in good terms with him. Well we were not the best of friends but i wouldn't punch him (now i would bc he became such a fucking dick). But Fish started to become distant, as if she didn't want me around anymore but i ignored it thinking it was all in my head. One day, our teacher assigned us new places in class and i was next to her ex-boyfriend. We of course talked in class and laughed together. But out of nowhere, she started doing the sign where you slit your throat with your finger, y'know ? I thought she was doing it for kidding and i was just really confused, it was break after that class anyway so i can ask her wtf that was. She came to me and thought i was plotting against her with her ex-boyfriend and just told me to go fuck myself basically. I waited for my now ex-boyfriend and my friend to come-out of their class and explained to them what happened while containing my tears. They tried to go to her and try to understand wtf went wrong and funfact: nothing went wrong and she was just being a bitch and i later learned she just wanted to move on and discard everything from the past year, including me. But i didn't know that, i thought i broke everything, i thought i broke our group friend, i felt guilty and i felt, alone. My boyfriend that got out of school just before me went to my mom that was there to come pick me up, that i wasnt really well and he went away when i got out. My mom did ask me what was wrong and i told her that i'll explain when we're home. At home i explained everything and broke down in my moms arm, i dont know if i cried out of anger or sadness, but seeing me cry was enough for my mom to hate her with all her guts. I've felt so lonely after that. I had no one to eat lunch with, i had no one to be in group in class with and i had no idea of how to occupy my brain when i had no one to talk to, i read in the morning waiting for the friends i had left, i would draw whenever i had to wait alone and i would eat fast to get out the fastest possible. I also lost everything i was since at that time i was like a sponge of personality and just squeeze out whatever the personality people wanted out of me. I had lost everything and i didn't want to be here anymore, i just wanted to die honestly. And i think i wouldve if i didnt think there was my family and my friends. However, it does not end here ! Bc my dumb ass made so many more mistakes ! Bc one day in our technology class i had to work with her for an assignment and we gradually made up until we became friend again, but i was still wary of her and my s*icidal thoughts were still very present. So i was still very toxic and pushing the people that were there for me away. My boyfriend broke up with me. I didnt know what to do, but looking back this was such a good decision for him and for me. I am so thankful for him to have broke up with me, but at that moment i was a bit hurt but at the same time i saw it coming so i had so time to grief about it. A month later my mom decided to bring me to Mauritius (where she is from) bc she thought i had a hard time no having her around for the first time which is kinda true but not all the truth. I had no wifi and no way of contacting anyone. That was so refreshing ! That's when i started to understand that i had the right to think for myself first and not be a fucking carpet for everyone to walk on. I was not out of the shit but i started to understand how to get out.

9th grade, was my savior. This was the best year of my life with nothing to worry about except an exam at the end. You remember the girl in 6th grade that was a bitch ? Yeah we became close friends during that year bc i realised she was a bitch bc she was badly influenced on in 6th and 5th grade. And the new girl remember her ? That's also the year when we got close, the year where we became best friends, when i learned to be and love myself and the year when i started to stand up for myself. I have some bad daddy issues and i have almost always shared my problems with Fish but i started sharing less toward the end of 8th grade. One day i was complaining that i had to be basically the messenger bird of my parents and she looked at me annoyed and tell me 'why don't you go to the police ?'. Like we didnt ??? Like she thinks that my dad was harassing my mom and we didnt ?? That's basically saying 'don't be' to someone who is sad. And i explained that to her and she was like 'don't complain to me if you're going to flip off like that when im giving you a solution', excuse me bitch... what ? I was hella mad. She came fake apologising like a few weeks later. And one day she came out to me as pansexual, great for her, and i was also questionning my gender and thought i was genderfluid so i came out to her. She was like 'oh ok' and i sent her some memes about genderfluidity and she was like 'stop this is annoying'. So i shut my trap. I also learned that during a school i didnt went she faked some anxiety and was being a bitch bc her friend wouldnt come to a shop with her even so another one was ok with going with her. I eventually started to understand that she was bad for my mental health, so i just started ghosting her bc i just didnt want to talk with her anymore and i didnt know how to confront her. She came up and grabbed and pulled me by my backpack that was full of shit just to ask me why i didnt answer to one of her text. I was so scared i just told her i wasnt feeling well and just told her i needed time. The year went by it was great and i didnt want to be in cold with Fish but i also didnt want to be her friend, i wanted to just be classmates, however when she was told this she understood : 'they want to be friend again'. So she clung with us next year.

10th grade, was last year and was full of drama. And we only had 6 months of school. 10th grade is the first year of highschool and the only year where we don't have an exam. I also had a forced new friend that we're going to call Taz so we don't get mixed up. She was also very clingy and it felt like having a leech stuck to me. And Fish was being very, let's say embarrassing and making us feel uncomfortable. She would make ton of sexual joke and we told her it was making us uncomfortable but she would apologise just to do it again the week later so we just gave up. She also outed me in class, thankfully the class was really noisy and only my bestfriend heard it but this fucking bitch just asked outta nowhere 'so you're still on this whole thing about being genderfluid or what ?' And she wasnt talking low, she was talking loud and clear. I felt so embarras and i hoped that no one else heard it. I answered as very quietly 'no.. i think im genderqueer now' and she just said ok. That's also around when i discovered im bi so i was so glad that i didnt tell her about that. And a few months later there was some shit going around about bullying and Fish was one of the targets. And let's say that our english teacher held up a trial so i opened up my big ass mouth to talk and defend Fish. And guess what, Taz just blurted out that i and my best friend were bullying her. Excuse me ? I defended her ass and when i talked to her about it she told me 'no you didnt, you just yelled at me once in physics'. So bc i yelled at her bc she wouldnt listen to me when we had to work i bullied her ? What a thank ! And when i tried to talk it out with Taz, she fucking ignored me and left. I was enraged. I was crying out of fucking rage and still aced a test in english. At the end i explained everything to my crush while i was walking home with her bc she lived next to my moms restaurant. When i stepped into the restaurant, there was my moms friend, which im kinda close to, and my mom who asked me how was my day i cried out of anger. They comforted me and supported me. At school, one day the assistant director called me and my best friend in his office. And told us that in highschool there are no bullying only misunderstandings (i dont really agree with that but anyway) and asked us our side of the story. We explained that we didnt get along with her anymore and made it very clear that we were uncomfortable with her but she wouldnt take a hint. And we left the office just like that. The assistant director probably told Fish our side and she never went to talk with us bc of covid.

Now, im in 11th grade, we do not talk anymore and this feel so much better. Now i'll just drop some bonus drama

She accused me of drowning her when it was her ex-boyfriend that did and made her scared of water, while i was there to support her when she was dealing with her phobia.

And her mom thought that i was a bad influence for her sweet sweet daughter when she was the one to incite me to c*t myself like paper, wow ok.

This is just a personal share and just maybe a way for others to recognise the toxic behaviors of fake friends.

[freczeyourbrain]

{ʾ⁎ ⊰ alexa demie, cis female, she/her ⊱ i think i just saw BETTY RIZZO walk across trafalgar square, singing to WASABI* ( LITTLE MIX ). you know, the TWENTY FOUR year old BARTENDER? people claim that they are just like RIZZO from GREASE**. it must be because they are CONFIDENT and BRASH as well… though i could be wrong. all i know for sure is that they live at CHICAGO*** apartment. ⌝

alexa, play oops i did it again by queen britney spears!!!

yes, it’s me, bringing in this queen herself miss rizzo. below i’m going to list some bullet points about her past, her present, and little facts about her. i am v excited about this kiddo and all the things in my brain about her and as always, feel free to hit me on discord and the dms to plot and what not!! 

HERE WE GOOOO! THIS IS THE BIO!

betty christina rizzo was born into the world in a mix of chaos, her mother had decided to leave her father after her second trimester, the question of why had never been answered all her life. even whenever she asked her abuela growing up, she was told to stop prying and be thankful she was here to begin with. it gave her a thick skin, besides, it wasn’t long after she was born that her mother met another man, so at least she had somewhat of a father figure around when he wasn’t drunk out of his mind. 

she didn’t grow up in the nicest home, betty lived with her abuela and abuelito, her mother, her step father (if she could even call him that with no ring on her mother’s finger?), and a few cousins. the house was always loud, crazy, reckless...but for some reason, she found peace in the never ending chaos. 

her relationship with her step father wasn’t exactly healthy, he was a drunk, a mean one at that and even if she begged her mother to kick him out of their lives...she never could. long story short, she didn’t trust the man, and slowly he began to put a wedge between her and her mother with all the fighting and strain. 

in high school, betty decided to start going by her last name, “rizzo”. as a freshman, she entirely rebranded herself. puberty treated her well, but she had always been a “pretty girl”. now that she was older, she was starting to learn that she could use that to her advantage. she was a ruthless flirt, climbing her way up the social ladder fairly quick as she manage to reel in the bad boys of the school with a little bat of her eyes. establishing her own little girl gang, they walked the halls like gods, and she lived for the attention it gave her.

she quickly became a rebel without a cause in school, a common staple of detention and a well known trouble-maker, it wasn’t as if anyone at home was paying attention. the only thing is, rizzo was smart, incredibly so. the amount of times she was told she was wasting her potential by teachers and guidance counselors alike was tiring, she just didn’t care, it wasn’t like she had the money to go to college anyways. her grades were high, but her behavior marks were even higher, rizzo had a mouth on her that just didn’t quit. she didn’t sugar coat things, she was honest to the biggest fault, and people either loved that about her, and hated her for it.

after graduation, it was clear that there was no clear path. soon enough, her mother wanted her out of the house and she knew it was her step father’s idea. funny how a man who couldn’t put a ring on her mother’s finger called the shots on her only child, and after trying to fight it, rizzo gave up. she moved out at eighteen, finding a little apartment to split with her friends still in town, the young girl began to work at a diner in the city to try and pay her bills.

it wasn’t enough, soon she got approached by a night club owner who was in need of a back-up bartender. the first shift she worked, she fell in love. the rush of the crowd, the way she held power behind the bar, they ordered the drinks but she ultimately called the shots. it was like she fell into a groove, she fell in love with the loud music and the environment, and she was a damn good bartender at that. 

soon enough, she was the lead bartender at one of the best night clubs in london, a well known face in the service industry...she was making big money with her regulars and packed nights. it was like being a god damn local celebrity at times, no waiting in lines to get into parties, mingling with the elite socialites, rizzo finally found her thing...but she wanted more. she was a fighter, and when she had a dream, it seemed she wouldn’t stop until she got it.

recently, at twenty four, she has started saving money to open up her own little bar. nothing big and flashy, not a night club but a bar. a place that is it’s own little safe haven. a bar run by women, she wants nothing but the hottest and most confident women in town, the name in flashy pink neon lights “pink ladies”...it’s so close she can taste it.

THE FACTS, THE RUN DOWNS, THE CLIFF NOTES:

so yeah, miss rizzo is a little spit fire. she is a sagittarius woman, born december 12th, and she can be a little bit all over the place. while she is a little bit blunt and in your face, deep down she means well under the hard shell. 

right now, she’s working on opening her own bar called “pink ladies” where each house cocktail is named after her closest gal pals. it’s sort of like the coyote ugly bar, she wants hotties behind the bar and maybe even an occasional dance or two on the bar-top. she wants it rowdy, fun, and reckless. that’s her goal, that’s her big plan, and BY GOLLY, she’s gonna get there.

rizzo is a RAGING bisexual, point blank and the period. if you give her attention, she’s all in for the ride.

she has some commitment issues, which im guessing stems from her childhood being so crazy, or maybe it’s because of her on and off again relationships in high school. who knows?

i’ll add more but for now, this is what i GOT. come love my crazy little bitchy baby <3 

[mysteryofren]

The First Order Will Be Finished

chapter 33 of So Happy Together

Masterlist

note: i feel like this is the worst chapter ive written but im sad the first order is going to be ending soon :( i also involved some real life events in here bc obi-wan would be a die hard blm activist. anakin is an all lives matter bastard i dont care what you say.

 The day was finally here. Phasma was leaving tomorrow afternoon, and you all had 1 last day as a whole group.You all had slept over at your grandfather's house. You decided to stay there for the summer, and so did Elaine. Your grandfather was camping with you all, but he had to work so he wouldn't be able to help at Amilyns. You woke up and tiptoed out of your room. Peeking into his room you saw he was still in bed. He usually left for work at about 9. Looking at the clock on the wall you saw it was only 7:30. You walked to his bed and gently shook him awake. 

“Good morning my dear.” he said through a yawn. 

“Can I get the keys to the truck? We might need it to help Amilyn move furniture.”

“Of course they're in the den on the table beside my chair.” you nodded and went to get the keys when he called out to you. 

“Come back.” you walked back to the bed beside him, and he grabbed your face and pulled you to him. He kissed your forehead, and smiled before laying back down.

“I love you pop pop.” you said.

“I love you too. Have fun, and i'll see you tonight.” you walked out the room and headed downstairs. You got to the den and saw Gideon sitting in his bed. He usually slept with you, but every now and then he would get up to walk around or go to his bed. He stood up once he saw you, and trotted over. You scratched him behind his ears, and grabbed the keys from the table. Gideon followed you as you walked outside. You picked up a stray ball and chucked it out towards the forest. He ran after it, and you continued walking to the shed. After you opened it you grabbed the tents you knew were in there. You walked over to your car, and placed them in the trunk. Going back you noticed Gideon had given up his ball and had begun chasing a squirrel. He ran around a tree trying to see where it had gone when he saw it he began baying at it. You walked over to him, and patted his back when he sat down and just looked up the tree. Going back to the shed you grabbed the sleeping bags that were also stored in the shed. 

 You weren't sure why he kept so many in the shed. When you camped as a kid there were only 3 of you, but he had 2 tents, and 6 sleeping bags. Maybe they just kept them around in case they lost some. After you had your car packed up you went back inside with Gideon. Your grandfather was in the kitchen eating cereal. He was in his pajamas and was scrolling through his phone.

“Have you seen all those protests happening recently?”

“Not really, I haven't been on social media lately, why what's happening?”

“Just another innocent man being murdered by police.” He held the phone up to you as you looked at the article. 

“Thats horrible.”

“Yes I know. It seems as though not much has changed from when I was your age.” he had a sad look on his face. You walk over to him, and hug him before heading upstairs.

 Once you reach your room you see Phasma and Elaine are still asleep. You wake them up, and let them know you guys are leaving in a few minutes. You go to your closet and look for something comfortable to wear. You pick out a pair of plain black leggings and a baseball t-shirt that used to belong to your dad. You walk out while Elaine, and Phas get dressed, and go downstairs to feed Gideon. He laid next to the cupboard where you kept his bowl. As you brought it down he perked up, and went to the spot where you kept his food. Before putting it down after filling it you crushed up his meds and sprinkled them over his food. You placed it down and he eagerly began eating. Grabbing his leash you walked to the den and picked up his dog bed. This was going to be Gideons first time camping with you, and you knew it would be a fun little surprise for him. You walked out of the house and put them in your car with the rest of the camping supplies.

 When you came back in, Elaine and Phasma were downstairs already. You smiled as you asked them.

“You guys ready to go?” Phasma looked sad. You knew it was because it was her last day.

“I guess,” she replied. “I just don't want today to end. When I come back everything will be different.”

“It will be, but we won't be.” Elaine said as she hugged her. You all headed out to the truck and drove to the address Amilyn had given you for her new store front. It was deeper in the city, and was way bigger than her last place. It was on the corner of a building so it was the size of 2 stores. Perfect for how many patrons she had gotten since you met her. Once you got there you parked, and saw Hux was already there. You get out, and walk in with the girls and see him on a computer with Amilyn.

“Damn Red you got here fast.” Elaine teased him.

“He's helping me pick out art to hang in the cafe. Isn't he the sweetest?”

Phasma went over and patted his back. “He sure is.” 

He smiled at her and kept looking with Amilyn. You saw some chairs stacked up by the door and went over and grabbed 3 of them and set them up by the couch. You all sat down and looked at art for about an hour before you heard a car pull up.

“Matt and Kylo must be here.” you said as you looked out the window. First it was the sound of 3 car doors closing that seemed weird. Then you saw 3 people get out of the car. Matt was the first to walk in. Then Kylo. to your dismay the last one to walk in was Ben. He smiled at you while he walked in. You smiled back knowing this was going to be the hardest day ever. 

“Hey sorry we're late we had to stop at the store and get camping gear for us.” Matt said as he walked over to Elaine and kissed her.

“You guys are camping with us? I thought it was only you going with us for that.” you said to him as he finished greeting everyone else.

“Yeah. Mom heard me and Hux talking about it and told me to take them. I don't even think they want to be here.” Kylo was giving you a smirk that had Han written all over it.

“Oh I want to be there.” He said while still looking at you. Ben looked at him with anger in his eyes. He hit Kylos shoulder. Kylo looked at him and gave him a shrug.

“Alright, well, why don't we all get started while Hux keeps looking for art. Phasma, Matt, and whichever one of you is Kylo, help me get the curtains up over the window.” they all nodded and gathered together. She looked at Ben standing alone.

“I'm sorry I don't know your name.” she reached out to him to shake his hand, and he took it.

“Im Ben Ma’am.” he shook her hand and she smiled at him. 

“Well, Ben, I have some ovens I need moved around in the kitchen. Do you think you could do that for me?” 

“Course. I just need you to tell me where you need em” He responded.

“Alright Elaine, and Rose do you guys think you can set the tables up?”

“Yeah no problem.” Elaine said, You both walked over to set them up. Luckily they stayed built during the move. All you had to do was move them to their rightful places. Sadly there weren't enough tables to make the cafe look full.it was clear she was going to need more. You walked into the kitchen where she was helping Ben move the ovens around to let her know. 

“I ordered some more yesterday. I'll just put them in whenever. Do you think you could help Ben finish this? I'm gonna see what else needs to be done.” you nodded and took her place helping Ben with moving the last oven.

“So you excited for tonight?” he asked as you both began to move the heavy object. You figured if you act civil the night will go by quick.

“Yeah. I just wish we had more time. All of us together. I'm worried about Hux going so far away.”

“He's gonna be fine. He's smart. I know Matts really scared about Elaine leaving.”

“Me too. We’ve been with each other for 4 years.”

“You were only in 8th grade when you got here?” 

“Yeah it was before Luke did away with the middle school program.”

 You guys finally got done moving the oven and went into the main area to help more. Surprisingly you guys didn't take most of the day to get everything done. Amilyn had given you a few more things to do before it was close to time for you all to go. You had gotten almost everything set up except the few tables that were missing and the art Hux had ordered. You all sat on the couches she had set up. You had ordered pizza for everyone and you all sat with each other and ate.

“So what are you all doing after this?” Amilyn asked as she bit into her slice.

“We're heading to my grandfather's house to pack up for tonight.” you answered.

“That sounds fun. I can't believe this is my last time having all 5 of you with me.”

“6 actually.” Kylo corrected.

“Oh yeah Kylo is a first order member now.” you informed Amilyn. Ben looked confused for a second before he spoke.

“Wait, he's a part of your group now? He's barely here!” 

“Well all of us like him and he didnt fuck any of us over.” Elaine said passive aggressively while she took the last bite of her pizza into her mouth. Matt hit her shoulder and looked at her. 

“Well it's true.”  Ben looked sad for a second before going back to eating. You had told Amilyn what happened between you and him a long time ago so she knew what Elaine meant. 

“So Kylo when do you go back to school?” Amilyn asked, trying to get to know the newest member.

“School starts again in august, but i'm going back in about 2 weeks.”

“Oh good, at least I have time to get to know you.” She smiled at him and he attempted to smile back, but didn’t do so well.

“Well I do have something I want to say.” Amilyn put her pizza down on the small table in front of the couches.

“I have never in my life met a group of such amazing men and women like you guys. Hux, you are so smart, and kind. You are nothing like your father, and you will always be better than him.” she said facing him. He got up from his spot next to you and walked around the table to hug her.

“Elaine. You're such an extraordinary young woman. You are so beautiful, and you're so talented. Your personality is the biggest I've seen ever in my life and I know you're going to do so many things with your life.” you looked to Elaine to see she was crying and hard. Matt held her while she cried and Amilyn continued.

“I never had kids with my husband. We never wanted any. You all are the closest thing to children I have, and I couldn't ask for a better group of kids to love.” at that point you all got up to go hug her. All of you piled onto her, with the exception of Kylo and Ben. Amilyn had started crying too at some point while you all held onto her. 

“We love you amilyn. I don't know what I'm gonna do when I can't come here whenever I want.” Elaine said through her tears. You all got up, and you ran out to the truck to get your bag. You came back inside with it, and pulled out your camera. You handed it to Ben and grabbed Kylo's hand. You dragged him back over to where Amilyn was sitting. You sat him down, next to Amilyn, and sat next to her as well. Hux sat on the other side of you between the arm of the couch and you. Matt, Phasma, and Elaine got behind the couch, and crouched down to get in closer. You wrapped your arms around Hux, and Amilyn while smiling. Once Ben took the picture he handed it over to you. 

 The image developed, and you all looked at it. This was one of the last pictures you guys would take as a group. The last time you all would sit and talk with Amilyn. You handed the small photo over to her. You explained that you wanted her to have it to remember your last day as the first order with her. The last time she would have you all in one place together. The time came. You all had to leave. Amilyn had to go home to get some more paperwork done before she could officially open. You and the girls got into the truck, and Hux got into Matts car with him and the other boys. You began the drive back to your grandfather's house, and tried not to cry. It was 4 in the afternoon. By this time tomorrow. The first order will be finished.

tags: @wumboho @pylopenpolo @duty-isnt-always-honour

[aliasimagines]

Meeting, falling for, dating and eventually having to leave Billy Hargrove would include :

request: Billy has a girlfriend before moving to Hawkins, being her the complete opposite of him (shy, a good person, honest, kind, dedicated, sensitive, right, who likes games, who fights for the power of women, etc…) the headcanon / imagine could be how they met, how they fell in love, how was dating (the day by day), what does Billy's family think of his gf, maybe moments / hobbies / things they both did together and perhaps what the two looked like when they both had to move to different cities. by @im-hqlover

a/n: I'm soooorrryyyyy it took me this long. It's messy and all over the place but I think I included everything (?). Also this is long. Sorry 🙏

Metting & getting to know each other

You met on the first day of high school

Billy didn't have a mulet back then, he wasn't wearing the leather jacket and didn't have his ear pierced. So wasn't really having the "bad guy" look just yet

You didn't really interact since he soon became popular while you liked to stay in the shadows thanks to your shyness

He was arrogant and rude while you are kind and quiet most of the time

But of course you have noticed him. He is gorgeous. Whit his wavy blonde hair and beautiful blue eyes.

Billy first really acknowledged you when you got paired for a school project in sophomore year. (not cliché at all)

You were nervous. Why wouldn't you be? It's Billy Hargrove we are talking about. One of the cool guys.

But honestly you didn't really think he would care about it

Much to your surprise he found you in lunch break. Billy told you that he has to pick up his step sister after school, but if you give him your address he will meet you there at 5

You were a bit shocked. Does he actually care? About a stupid school project?

Turns out he really does because he is failing the class

It's 5 past 10 when he shows up. He's got a small cut on his cheek which weren't there at school.

"Are you okay, Billy?"

He shrugged his shoulder, annoyed

"Can you just let me inside so we can do that stupid project?"

Deciding it's better not to anger him you step aside and guide him to your room

You start to do some research when you hear him murmur quietly

"I don't get this"

he was pointing at the task.

"Which part do you not get?"

"All of it?"

So you begin to explain him calmly and slowly

After about 2 hours, Billy kind of gets it so you start working.

You eat dinner with books in your hands while discussing the project.

And it's like you have been friends for years. You forgot your shyness and Billy forgot about all his problems. You even joked around between two tasks.

It's pretty late when you finish but it's friday so it's okay.

When you said goodbyes and you're about to close the door he suddenly turns around.

"Thanks Y/N. For explaining that shit."

"Of course, Billy! I'm glad I could help you!"

On Monday you and Billy present your project and the teacher is blown away by it. And Billy is so happy he pulls you into a bone crushing hug. And your bl

The teacher says that if Billy can keep this up he won't fail the class. So the teacher asks you to tutor him.

Growing & confessing feelings for each other

Once a week Billy comes over after he walked Max home( cause he doesn't have his car jet) and you guys work on home work together and study. Overtime he a bit longer stays after you finished studying. He stays for dinner (your parents love him) or you just hang in your room talking and listening to music.

Billy feels so comfortable around you. It's the way you treat him. Always so calm, kind and caring. He just feels like he can trust you. And he eventually realizes that he fell for you.

And oh boy, that scares him.

First Billy doesn't want to do anything about because he thinks there is no way you like him back.

But after spending many sleepless nights with fantasizing about what your relationship would be like he can't keep his emotions bottled up.

He gets up at 3 am and just goes over to your house and starts throwing rocks at your window

"Billy! What are you doing here?"

"I want to speak with you. Can you.. come outside?"

2 minutes later you find yourself walking next to Billy in a short and an oversized shirt you quickly changed into.

Few minutes pass and he still hasn't said anything. So you nervously turn to him and open your mouth to say something but he beats you to it.

"Y/N thanks to you I've got good grades and I'm super grateful for that but that's not why... Ah shit.. I can't"

He notices you're slightly shaking.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine just a bit cold"

"Oh, here. Take my jacket" and he puts it on your shoulders

And you're jumping out of your skin.

Because over there months you spent together you grew feelings for this boy and now he was giving you his jacket. Billy freaking Hargrove was giving you his signature leather jacket!

Oh, you weren't blushing. Naaah, not at all.

"T-thanks Billy..."

"Sure thing."

"So You were trying to say something?"

"Oh shit! ...You... I was trying to say how fucking nervous you make me." *cute small laugh*

Billy took a deep breath and stoped. You looked at him, totally confused.

"Y/N... I... I like you. Like... Like like you. I have been for a while now. You are just the cutest and kindest person I have ever met. Whenever you and I are alone I feel so happy... You make me super happy."

He looks at you like a lost puppy. He is just so goddamn cute.

Even though you're shy you pull him down by the collar of his shirt and kiss him.

Just a few hours ago you wouldn't even dare to dream about Billy liking you, yet here you are kissing on the poorly lighted street at 3 am.

That's how it started

Dating Billy & what his family thinks of it/about you

So Billy likes to show you off. Take you to parties (but if you don't want to he won't force you to), hold your hand in school or even kiss you by the lockers.

You definitely earn some jealous looks after that, even some threatening ones. (don't worry, Billy will punch everyone who tries to hurt you)

You accompany him when he has to walk Max home

Max does not mind it. You're always nice to her. You quickly befriend with the cute little ginger and take her to the arcade or play video games with her.

Once Billy gets his car you go on nightly car rides

He loves surfing, so he takes you to surf whenever he can. You have little competitions like "who can stay longer on the board?"

Or if you can't surf he will teach you.

Once you come out of the water he likes to walk around the beach, fingers intertwined, maybe get some ice cream or something. You guys would stay till ot gets dark.

Or sometimes even after that. Billy wound find a nice hidden spot where you can gaze up at the beautiful night sky as he holds you in his strong arms. And he has that smile on his face. You know it's a smile he only uses when it's just the two of you.

Like I said he is a show of and likes to drag you to parties so in return you drag him to demonstrations for women rights.

Billy loves listening to music and he loves you so listening to music with you is one of his favorite things to do.

You met his father and Susan when you ran over to his house to return his jacket.

Susan opens the door, asks who you are and when you tell her that you are Billy's girlfriend she immediately invites you in

She tells Max to inform Billy that you're here

Susan was cooking when you knocked so you ask if you can help her in anything till Billy comes.

"Oh aren't you sweet! Thank you, I would appreciate it!"

You and Susan are in deep conversation while you are cutting some vegetables when Billy walks in.

"Babe? What are you doing here?"

"Oh, I just brought back your jacket."

That's when Niel enter the kitchen too. He doesn't even says hello, he is just like: "who the hell is that?"

"I'm, uhm.. I'm Billy's girlfriend, sir."

Neil snorts and turns to his son "Your girlfriend?" Billy just nods so Susan takes the opportunity to speak up

"She is such a sweetheart, I didn't even know you had a girlfriend Billy."

"I guess I just didn't had a chance to talk about her"

Now his dad is looking at you "Does he take good care of you?"

"Yes sir, Billy is a wonderful boyfriend!"

"Pff are you talking about my son?"

And you're looking at him like wtf.

Later Billy tells you about his dad and how he treats him.

First your just so angry, because how can someone do that to their children?

But than you comfort your boyfriend. Tell him how he deserves the word and how you will always be there for him.

Moving to different cities

Billy is heartbroken when he learns you have to move.

But than his father announces that they will move to Hawkins and now he is hating every one.

You are devastated too, obviously. You just want to cry and be held by Billy but he is too busy being angry at the world.

You find him at your hiding spot on the beach, smoking.

"Billy, please don't be like this, this is hard for me too!"

He is too afraid of living without you, you're the only good thing in his life. And he doesn't want to lose you too.

"Baby I don't want this..." his voices is barely louder that a whisper, and you know he is fighting with his tears too.

"Me neither, Billy but... But we could figure out something?"

"What? We will be so freaking far away from each other!"

"Yes I know, but after high school we could still come back to Cali and live in a cute house by the ocean like how we planned"

"I... Yeah. Yes, you're right. But still, i don't know what will I do without you."

You sit next to him "We will talk. Every day on the phone. And I will write you."

The they you have to say goodbye is the worst. You are both crying. He doesn't want to let you go. You ran your fingers through his hair, one last time. He kisses you.

"Promise you won't forget me, Y/N. "

"I couldn't never!"

"Just promise."

"I promise, that I won't ever forget you Billy Hargrove."

[madiiko12]

new york’s very own madison ‘madi’ ko was spotted on broadway street in chanel sneakers . your resemblance to kim chungha is unreal . according to tmz , you just had your twenty-first birthday bash . while living in nyc , you’ve been labeled as being obsessive , but also ambitious . i guess being a virgo explains that . 3 things that would paint a better picture of you would be glittery eyes, dangling earrings, & chanel draped in pearls.  ( cisfemale & she/her) + ( kale, 20 , she/her , est. )

hi honeybuns !! im back and with child. there is a brief mention of an ed under the cut but i block it off with a tw start & end.    if you’d like to plot pls leave a like and i can dm you or hit you up on discord !! my discord is kale#3079  

BACKSTORY

haneul madison ko was born september 18, 1999 to two immigrant parents from S.K. her birth name is haneul, but she went by the name madison since it was easier to pronounce + madi began to almost detest her culture??

it was just that growing up she would sometimes get bullied for looking different at her school, for the way her packed lunches smelled/looked, the way people would stare if she spoke korean to her parents, how other kids would make fun of her english since she didn’t pick up on vocab/grammar as quickly since she didn’t practice at home with her parents. she just became SO insecure about it that she rejected her culture. she wouldn’t bring her mom’s food to school, if her mom ever forced her to take it she’d throw it away  and choose to starve instead. she wouldn’t speak korean back to her parents in public, barely even in private (which reeaaallly upset her parents). this also REALLY destroyed her korean language skills. she can understand still, but she can barely hold a basic conversation anymore.

as she grew up, and continued this sense of distancing herself from her culture, she ultimately distanced herself from her family. which left her feeling -  - alone often, even though it was all due to her own choices. in this loneliness, she found her escape in music. she would wear headphones constantly through the halls, in car rides, in her room when her parents yelled at her to turn the music down. she just loved music. she saved up the money her parents gave her whenever she worked at the nail salon (her parents owned it!!) to thrift an old keyboard. she became self-taught by trying to copy melodies of songs she’d listen to, thrifting piano lesson books, staying after school with the music teacher learning to play. sometimes she’d even skip lunch to sit in the chorus room with her choir director and play.

it’s not that she had a LACK of friends growing up, maybe just that she lacked a best friend. she had a lot of friends, but no one that she felt so connected to in the way she felt connected to music. perhaps, she was addicted to her loneliness.

she spent a lot of time playing the piano and dabbling in writing music that her grades started to fall (not that she was ever the BEST student) and her parents literally took away her piano. they said it was a waste of time because they wanted her to focus on doing well, so she could get into a good university, and then live a good life. music was just a distraction

but that didnt work

she would sneak out into the city to go to concerts and poetry readings. she’d sneak out and go to indie songwriters scenes while her parents thought she was at the library with one of her school friends

This underground scene had her full heart!! she was surrounded by likeminded people who just lived for music. she was hearing all of these incredible people who were all looking for their start. maybe not looking for anything at than just to sing their songs. tbh i think this was the point she was happiest. she was completely enveloped in music, just for the sake of music. There wasn’t any pressure, just music. Just the songs. she was wide eyed looking at this whole underground scene of artists. So maybe some plots from these underground charas?!

she’d perform some songs at karaoke nights and the indie sessions, and a producer took a keen interest in one of her songs. basically im kind of stealing halsey’s career start, but she posted a song Came in Close on SoundCloud and just blew up overnight. in the morning, she woke up to a record label asking her to fly to LA for a meeting.

and thus, Madison Ko began a career as Madi Ko where she’d release her debut album, Honey, a few months later. (DISCOGRAPHY HERE). her music is very 80s synth inspired!

new album that is most definitely CRJ’S EMOTION is coming soon...

PERSONALITY

right off the bat, madi is an absolute firecracker!! she’s loud, bursting with personality, has a lack of inhibitions that CHAOTICALLY mixes with her spontaneity

part of this is projecting her insecurities. she felt lonely as a child but doesn’t want to be seen as that to the world. it’s not so much a persona but an exaggeration of who she was. 

she likes to show off her glam bc it, once again, hides her insecurities. 

she just kind of is dramatic anymore

like everything about her

her persona as Madi Ko, upcoming popstar underdog, is like DUNKED in glitter, over the top stages and sets, draped in couture. basically her stages/outfits/dances/mvs are like Chungha’s but with Pale Waves and Carly Rae Jepsen VC. ex: 1, 2, 3, 4

also bc im obsessed with chungha’s famous diamond wink, IT’S GONNA BE MADI’S THING TOO. so basically madi has trended on twt a few times bc of her signature diamond wink bc she effing glues rhinestones and glitter under her eyes for performances !! she said fuck corneas !! ex: 1, 2, 3      ....god chungha is magical

so while madi is like a brand hypebeast n never shuts up, she can also get,,, easily annoyed. and heavily perceives ppl on first impressions despite that being the reason she felt misunderstood a lot growing up. 

definitely argumentative!!! will blow up arguments for no reason n then later questions why she made it such a big deal but cant own up to her mistakes

when she decides she doesnt like you, SHE DOESNT LIKE YOU. it’s done. bridge is burned, she’s not keen on second chances

fame has definitely given her a bit of an ego problem --- she’s a bit more aggressive, self-obsessed while intrinsically insecure, is too busy flaunting her material possessions and trendy life that she can...lose touch of reality. basically most of her high school friends cant stand her. HC that her high school bf broke up with her bc she was no longer was the madison ko he knew!!! so if anyone wants to be that ex lmk !!! she’s written songs about them!!!

definitely the type of girl who is so hype at a party, dancing in fallen confetti, standing on the fireplace mantle, but then midway realizes she’s lonely. sad at a party. 

ED TW STARTS!!!!!

....

she kind of always had body image issues growing up, but it was very off and on, but once she got signed and being by surrounded by cameras became normal she formed a full fledged ED. she’s passed out at concerts a few times bc of her ED, but they always brush it off as “not enough rest” or “she wasnt feeling well that day but pushed to perform anyway as to not disappoint the fans”

so feel free for ur muses to point it out !! she’ll get really defensive like “i eat i just work out a lot” and yeah it’s true she works out a lot but she...doesn’t really eat

it’s also one of the causes of her irritability ...

.....

END ED TW!!!!

idk why this is so long

always up for mischief! 

does love a good prank. asks weird hypotheticals 

is not scared of an ouija board

will get wasted off a few shots and drunk madi is UNSTOPPABLE 

one time drunk madi cried bc her siamese cat (MOCHI !!!) wouldn’t ever get to go to school and would never know chemistry..... the dramatics.....

she is sensitive and despises it. she does everything she can to not come across as sensitive

however, she’s so obsessive. so deep in feeling. when she feels something she FEELS it. when she is mad it boils through her. when she is in love it is all she knows. when she is sad it covers her like sweaters and blankets on rainy days. she doesn’t know how to half-feel. everything she feels stops her in her tracks.

HOWEVER she’s the most obsessive with her own insecurities — so in relationships she’s kind of known for tapping out early. she just gets scared and the fleetingness of her career and that she’s at her very core, lonely and disappointed in herself, makes her want to run away thinking that letting down her walls and being vulnerable could only be disappointing for her SO. so maybe she ghosted ur chara or gave some lame excuse

Kind of obsessed with how she’s perceived

terrified that at any moment her career could be thrown away, her deemed irrelevant, and she goes back to being Madison Ko, daughter of nail techs in Koreatown. and then her parents would have been right all along, music was a waste of time.

she’s just my little fallen angel who flew to the sun (fame) and it constantly eats away at her girlhood, at her heart.

anyways this is all i got rn <3 come love me sorry i kind of didn’t shut up this is long

WANTED CONNECTIONS

an ex from before she was famous who broke up with her because of how she changed!! PLEASE i have ideas for this. plus,,, you get a lot of songs about ur chara!!! could be from high school, maybe someone in the music scene she frequented before she was signed, anything!!

anothr ex/fwb/undefined relationship i’d love is one when she was first famous who just introduced her to everything. something like a whirlwind that was exciting and magical. she’s written songs about this person.

exes in general. 

hookups/fwb

romantic plots. pls i have songs who need meaning. friends to lovers, one sided (either way), slowburn, ANYTHING. love cruel summer plots, anything lover by tswift

PR relationships -- would LOVE one where she falls in love with the other despite how clearly defined they made their relationship

love triangles in general just get me going

best friend!!!! the one’s who know how the other feels just by looking at each other. they have countless sleepovers. tell each other everything. cry together on bathroom floors. pregame together. 

ex friends. for whatever reason -- maybe madi did smth shitty, maybe they did. maybe there was backstabbing, maybe madi sacrificed friendship for a career, maybe she made moves on their romantic partner/interest despite being fully aware. idk. gimme

People she knew from the underground/indie scene before they were famous!! they’d have bonded over their love for music, little indie dreams kind of vibe. just imagine a group of dreamers !! Would love if they made some kind of pact!!!

party friends

collabs !!

pranks. mischief. gimme

enemies. gotta cook up some drama, yknow

GIRL GANG. god i just want this so bad like make a girls dream come true

[shamemp3]

POSITIVE 20 QUESTIONS TAG GAME

@demondeals thank you for tagging me this was SO MUCH FUN!! ily!!

1. Name 4 fictional characters who showcase your personality the best, with explanations if you want.

aah this is hard okay so first and foremost peter parker. he’s one of those characters that have always been relatable in almost every aspect of life since i was a kid, especially when it comes to how he deals with his feelings and like his emotions and humor and his problems in general?? and then also jake peralta also because of feelings and how he tries to avoid them and be all!! fun fck yea!! and humor and idk?? also i love amy santiago so... third i think is percy jackson bc no thoughts head empty and he is impulsive and also brave and i would like to think that i am brave?? and yeh im trying to make this as short as possible and only vaguely explain but. it’s not working ksdfjbv okay fourth character is stiles stilinski ig?? like sarcasm and humor again, and idk this is all repeating but it all comes back to how he deals w his feelings and guilt and problems and idk the reasons are mostly the same with all these characters and yea there’s more but i feel like i am talking too much so i will stop skjdbvjk

2. Aesthetic

milkshakes and fries, neon lights, blasting the car radio, doing literally anything as long as it’s with friends, city lights, train rides at night, playing video games till sunrise, campfire smell, denim and flannels, drive-in movies

3. Favorite musical/play? (If you’ve never seen a musical or play, one you’d be interested in seeing?)

uhh i’ve only listened to hamilton which had some really cool beats! ive also listened to a few songs from dear evan hansen, wicked, mean girls, and oh now that i think about it i’ve seen the shrek musical on netflix and 10/10 phenomenal in every way that’s my favorite one

4. What is the best compliment you’ve ever received?

i know i’ve gotten compliments but for some reason i cant remember any?? like the second i read this question my brain went whoosh. idk probably whenever people tell me im funny or notice that im keeping my cool in a situation that is very NOT cool?? idk i really cant think of any rn jdfsbksdjb but there have definitely been compliments that i have thought about for weeks bc i was like....omg? me? kinda sad that i dont remember them i really hope i do soon bc i wouldnt wanna forget smth like that sjkdbdvhsb

5. How many times have you been in love?

i don’t think i’ve ever been in love (at least romantically)? im not certain but im 90% sure i haven’t. but when it comes to friends and family, sososos many times i lvoe them all

6. Embarrassing story or fact about yourself that makes you laugh now?

uhhh i got pantsed in like grade 7 bc i was being dragged across the floor and then this 9th grader came up to me in the middle of the hallway and yelled “HEY I SAW YOUR ASS” i wanted to perish

7. Favorite Disney/Pixar movie?

ooh probably zootopia or wall-e!!

8. Favorite flower or plant?

this is hard! i love ferns and sunflowers and hydrangeas and ooh also vines 

9. What’s your favorite holiday?

i love new year’s eve! it’s just fun because we all just stay up and celebrate and there’s always this feeling of “oh i got through another year!” also 4th of july but not bc of the actual holiday just bc my old town used to have these 4th of july carnivals that were crazy fun and i used to go like almost every day when the carnival was in town

10. Name three things that made you laugh or smile this past week.

first one is my school posted a picture of me graduating on their facebook and my mom sent them the link to look at it and when they pressed on it they started replying to my mom thinking it was on whatsapp but they left like 7 comments on the school’s post in arabic so that was funny as fukckjdbf, second is atla bc i love that show and everyone is so precious, and number 3 is literally any conversation with any of my friends

11. What song would you play to introduce yourself to someone?

axel f by crazy frog. next question

12. Name something that truly makes you feel peaceful even at your most stressed moments.

probably watching one of my favorite movies (mr. popper’s penguins or itsv tbh) or like just going on any of my friend’s gcs and sending memes and stuff

13. What do you, did you, or would you study at college?

i plan on going into chemistry!! i might also minor in computer or environmental science, but i’m still undecided! crazy because up till a few months ago i had zero idea what i wanted to do and my plans kept changing like every week

14. This is kind of a weird one, but which outfit of yours makes you feel most like yourself?

probably my denim jacket or my really big red sweatshirt? idk tbh i really only buy clothes that i know i would feel myself in and that i would be comfortable, but i think those two are probably my favorites?

15. What is a quote you live by?

power of people is stronger than the people in power because i want to take down the evil government. this is the first one i thought of so it’s staying skjvbjksdb

16. Name the funniest playlist name you have.

i have ‘AAAAHHHHHHH’ and i have ‘mitten ski’ which is a playlist composed entirely of mitski songs

17. Make a reference to an inside joke you have with someone you love with zero context.

wanna touch knees?

18. What is a message you would give your younger self if given the chance?

please stand up for urself and talk ab ur feelings for the love of god it’s ok to admit to being not ok ?? also everything in the world is not ur fault, chill btich

19. Who is your favorite family member? (If you have no good blood family members, feel free to mention someone in your found family)

i can’t really do this bc i really do love all of them in a different way. i’m definitely closest to my mom because i’ve lived with her all my life, but i still can’t pick favorites

20. What’s a secret dream of yours?

to be an astronaut pls this isn’t a secret i just really want to be an astronaut or a superhero pls someone give me a radioactive eel bite or send me to space or something. also to be able to be more open w people and to visit aleppo again 

i’m tagging: @natasharxmanov @anthonydarling @parkersedith @jessjones @anxieteandbiscuits if you guys want to!!! ily all very much