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Idk man this popped into my head and I could NOT get it out until I drew it so!!! Here!
#where did bro fall from#i would've made the last frame a bit nicer but i have to go to bed and it's a school night so#erm!!! what the flip!!!#wander over yonder#commander peepers#woy oc#woy ocs#oc x canon#oc x canon community#my art
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Imo the most impressive thing Leo’s done is hold this pose for as long as he did while covered head to toe in gold paint:
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rise leo#if you’ve ever had to wear body paint that stuff can be UNCOMFORTABLE#AND to hold that pose for so long - not moving a muscle even when they first started falling?#as humorous as this is it is no joke highly impressive#I also love the implication that they disguised Leo SO FAST that Big Mama JUST finished with item 1#this is why Leo grows to become the worlds greatest ninja#bro’s dedication to subterfuge is godly#also#Leo 🤝 Mario: being painted gold and tricking the villainess into thinking you’re a statue#side note but in this same episode leo makes a comment about being betrayed by his brothers all the time in a happy tone#and I wonder if that’s part of where his love for epic betrayals comes from#or if his bros partially did those betrayals because they know he likes them#also also#nearly all of Leo’s absolute best moments are contained within episodes that feature either Hueso or especially Big Mama#and I find that interesting#ALSO also also#Karai and Big Mama both embody different aspects of Leo’s key character traits and in this essay I will-#side note but as I mentioned in the notes LEO WOULD BE SUCH A GOOD CHEERLEADER AND SPECIFICALLY A FLYER#bc here’s the thing he has literally all the marks of a good one - the main one being what he shows HERE#the ability to LOCK HIS POSITION#plus his affinity for showmanship like#AND his literal JOB AS A MASCOT???#let my guy be a cheerleader plz#he and Mikey both would be so good at it
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I'll never be able to take the theory that Vincent is Sephiroth's real father seriously cuz I cannot stress enough how important I think it is to the plot that Vincent wanted to fuck Lucrecia and did not get to.
#once again i jest but now i have to actually talk about it#like. okay we have no proof of any actual timeline for the dirge flashbacks other than. it was at least 30 years ago#so who knows how long they were at the manor. could have been weeks before The Incident. or months. or maybe a full year! who knows#but to me a timeline of like. they fucked and like a week later vincent found The Evidence and lucercia had her little breakdown#AND THEN EXTREMELY QUICKLY SHE AGREED TO THE EXPERIMENT AND IT COULD GO ONE OF TWO WAYS#1. she knew she was pregnant and thats why she agreed to the experiment cuz there was already a usable subject#and therefore she must have fucked hojo like a week after she fucked vincent AND THATS STUPID FAST FOR THESE EVENTS#or 2. she didnt know. agreed to the experiment. fucked hojo. and therefore thought seph was hojo's and NOT vincent's#AND BY THE WAY. i dont even actually believe hojo fucked either!!! cuz theyre both scientists so why wouldnt they think IVF was the best way#okay. well.... hojo is canonically a fucked up little freak. so. he might have taken the opportunity to... get in there.#also when did ivf even start being a thing? cuz that may play a factor into this if nomura even considered that#well either way lets just unfortunately assume hojo got in there#ITS STILL AN ODDLY FAST TIMELINE#also. fuck man doesnt lucrecia have a later line in dirge where she actually says shes in love with hojo? or something along those lines#IMPLYING ITS BEEN AWHILE SINCE SHE HAD THE FALLING OUT WITH VINCENT. YOU WOULDNT FUCK THE GUY AFTER ALL THAT SHIT#AND WHILE CLAIMING TO LOVE/CURRENTLY FALLING IN LOVE WITH HOJO!!!! LIKE CMON MAN!!!! SHE SUCKS BUT SHES NOT THAT KIND OF A MESS#i dont think vincent would fuck her until they sorted out their issues anyway and that CLEARLY didnt happen.#its VITAL that that did not happen!!!!#its just. if vincent and lucrecia fucked. everything would have had to happen EXTREMELY fast within like a 2 week timespan#and im just talking about up to when vincent learns shes partaking in the experiment. it was probably another week or two until vincent died#SO. logically it must have been like#fall in love->learn about the gimoire incident->refuse to speak to vincent->get obsessed with hojo->fall in love(?)#and then thats where i think its ambiguous on did the experiment become an idea before or after seph started to exist?#like chicken or the egg ya know. experiment idea or sephiroth zygote?#that feels fucked up to say. im so fucking sorry to seph to talk about this. yeah sorry i have to debate who fucked your mom bro#god imagine telling him that. like not even as a reveal thing cuz he knows who his father is. just like as a sick joke. your mom joke.#NO OH M Y GOD I HAVE A QUESTION NOW#in accordance to him having a photo of lucrecia in ever crisis. after he reads that jenova is an ancient (incorrect btw)#does he think that picture is still her? what about when he takes jenova's body from the lab????#oh my god 30 tag limit. FUCK. i need like a rant blog for all this vincent talk now. my brain is going a mile a minute
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Y'all ever stopped listening to your favorite bands for about 2 years for reasons you don't even know yourself. Maybe it's because you're busy. Maybe it's because you thought you've acquired new tastes. You really don't know. But then suddenly you listened to one song of theirs again and now you're sobbing over how good the songwriting was? And now that you're not a dumb High Schooler without much experience you understand the lyrics even more?
Anyways that's me with Fall Out Boy right now lmao. It's high time I listen to their new album later.
#incoherent rambles#ansy-stalks#confession: would yall kill me if my fave album of theirs is MANIA hAHAHAHHA—#LISTEN#NONE OF THE SONGS WERE A MISS— lord i remember how people criticized that album in its release and how fans are worried about the dubstep-y#vibe (me too cuz “yo idk much about music but how will andy & joe do this live im sorry im dumb 😭”)#then again none of their songs in their wholeass discography is a fricking miss anyways /absolutely biased#even their covers are fun to listen like I Wanna Be Like You??? That sht is on repeat lmao. I Wann Dance With Somebody?? good sht dawg#I think my second fave album is either Folie & Save Rock and Roll? Just cuz Folie is my vibe and SRAR were all dhxjkwjfiaokeixiw <33#Every fan loves Infinity On High for sure— Golden & ILALWTWIATTGYO (me & you) makes me sob every time#broooo the raw ass line of “I saw God crying at the reflection of my enemies and all the lovers with no time for me”#and “the best way to make it through with hearts & wrists intact is to realize two of the three ain't bad. aaaIIINT BAAAAAADDD—”#for folie a deux there's not a damm instance where I did not feel sadness over What A Catch Donnie. Dawg. The way Elton John sings his part#too bro 😭😭😭😭#AND HOLYYY SHT THE AFTER(LIFE) OF A PARTY PHCCKKK I FORGOT HOW THAT NEVER FAILS TO MAKE ME HOLD IT IN HSJDJKSOSID#i would skip that song cuz it makes me so sad sometimes 😭😭😭😭#OKAY YOU KNOW WHAT LET ME RETHINK MY ORDER OF FAVE ALBUMS HAHAHAHHAHA#“I'm a stitch away from making it AND A SCAR AWAY FROM FALLING APART. APART. BLOOD CELLS PIXELATE AND EEEYEESS DILATE- KISS AWAY THE TEARS#AND KILLS ON THE MOUTH OF AAAALLLL. MY FRIIIEEENDS—“ PHHHHCCKCKKKSIEOS 😭😭😭😭😭😭#JDJAI WAIT AND THE ENTIRETY OF SOPHOMORE SLUMP#OKAY I NEED TO STFU IN THESE TAGS HAHAHAHAHHA#okay to defend my MANIA adoration (do people still hate this album? hope not). ***Bishop's knife trick.***#“I'm sifting through the sand.Looking for pieces of broken hourglass.Trying to get it all back—put it back together��As if the time#had never passed. I know I should walk away but I just want to let you break my brain and I can't seem to get a grip. no. no matter how I#live with it. thESE ARE THE LAST—“#I'm sorry. the delivery is just too delicious.#MANIA is a fricking mixbag of weirdly mainstream inspirational songs- to suddenly; drugs- to actually being unhinged- to one of the saddest#“im tryina redeem myself” song(s) (heaven's gate- church- and bishop's)#okay i really need to shut up 😭#aight. i will stop.
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YEAHHH CODY COME GET YOUR MAN
#friday night smackdown#bro let them go#I wanna see this so bad#the Kevin/cody yaoi is REALLY falling apart now#I can’t with kevin’s chocked face tho#shocked*#sir you just elbowed Randy in the face. of course he’s gonna punch you#kevin owens#randy orton#cody rhodes#edit thought of more literally immediately after posting this#idk why I’m even so obsessed with these two but I am#I see where Kevin’s coming from to be fair.#in a sense Cody did betray him by working with Roman#you can tell he’s kinda losing it though#like you can see it and hear it. bro is NOT doing ok#Kevin Owens is literally the character ever I enjoy him so much dude /pos#pls pls pls I am BEGGING for more to happen tonight. PLEASEEE#I need more of this scrumptious thing they have going on
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Kiryu being awkward and bad at social interactions is absolutely one of my favourite things about him- like I do just find it super fucking cute and funny and charming but the notion that he can't be smooth and flirtatious makes me laugh because /he can/ and every time he does it I just end up sitting there for a minute like utterly accosted. completely thrown off. feeling like a Victorian woman who needs the fainting couch STAT.
#like where did THAT come from Kiryu#the hostess stuff is good for both bc sometimes he says the most ???#shit and its like.... bro#but other times he just is smooth as silk and im like... Mr Kiryu..... 😳😳#kiryu is a hazard bc he makes everyone fall in love with him but he doesnt even know hes doing it half the time#kazuma kiryu#kiryu kazuma#yakuza
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Learned about a walk-in interview thing to sign up for? It’s on the 28th. 6 different things to sign up for(?), is for getting a job.
I can already feel the anxiety bubbling up in my body :(
It’ll be fine, though. As awkward as it’ll be.
🤎—————🤎
HAHA HEY LOOK ITS A DRAFT FROM AUGUST 25TH THAT I DIDNT POST
Anyways we (me and bestie) havent been sent the thing for the interview or whatever. We (sys) have been kinda planning to not go anyways tbh. I’m sure it’d have been interesting but also, I’m pretty sure we’re not really prepared for job stuff yet.
#sepiasys.txt#Still scouting volunteer opportunities; only a small handful of places are walking distance. Might sign up for one of em.#We need to remake a resume anyways and bestie still hasn’t worked with us on it; I think maybe he forgot. Which wouldnt be a surprise ngl#Atleast I recovered the old resume/job related stuff we made in senior year. I don’t remember enough of what we did that would count.#I kinda miss the community service stuff we did in middle school(?). I remember one was actually quite fun! It was during a fair I think?#It was at Kenwood elementary I think. Maybe I’m confusing it with the one fall festival at bro’s elem school that one time tho.#All I can think of is face paint and silly entertainment stuff <3 WHY IS THIS ONE OF MY INTERESTS /g#God we saw someone with a balloon animal. Still hung up on it. It looked kinda like a fish from where we stood.#I have repeated the balloon animal thing too many times already lmao BUT I JUST- ITS SO INTERESTING WHERE DID YOU GO TO GET IT AT???
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When Diluc gives his heart to someone and genuinely enters a relationship with them, that's it–that's it for him. There will never be any other that could hope to replace them, whether they leave him or they pass on.
#hc; diluc#//He might have his fair share of little crushes here & there; rarer still a one night stand or two (hasn't rlly done that since Snezhnaya)#//But once he's actually in a proper relationship with someone; and he ONLY will do so after a certain level of trust/bond has been forged#//Bc once that is settled...he's truly ALL theirs. His heart settles on them; no wavering nor hesitation#//Forever; until he would draw his final breath#//Doesnt matter if their breakup was the messiest fucken shit or amicable; if they died in the most heartrending way or at peace in his arm#//He will love & adore them even still; no matter what sorts of emotional turmoil the feelings put him through/he tries to hide them behind#///They will HAUNT him; unless he may have them again or he meets an untimely demise and joins them#//There are some cases where he will try to pursue them again; but those are very few and far in between#//Anywho; guess who watched H.B aGAIN#//And the fact that some owls are monogamous for life is a big inspo too nkjgnygkj#//Bro reads abt his family's special birds and was like BET#//I CAN DO THAT TOO#//Nah; I'm kidding#//He just takes love VERY seriously. Extremely so. He saw his father pining for his mother to the end of his days#//And thought to himself THAT is how much love I want to have for someone. THAT is the level of loyalty and affection I ought to hold#//It would take an extremely special case for him to waver on this fact; for him to be able to move on from that previous person#//It's exactly WHY it takes so much trust and rapport between them for him to decide to let himself fully fall for someone#//Bc he knows he will NOT get over them so easily; they hold his heart so precariously in their hands#//He would never truly move to retaliate on them if they broke his heart though. Bc even hurt; he would NEVER want to hurt them in turn#//But yeah; bro would take it SO hard. Esp if he sees them move on too quickly for his taste#//Would carry on his day by day; but BOY would he be aching inside. BOY would his eyes ligner and follow where they'd go#//BOY OH BOY would their name grace his lips;like a silent prayer for their wellbeing; a helpless wish for them to have never left his side#//Bro would PI N E; and pin HARD. Harder than he did BEFORE they got together#//Worst part is he wouldn't be as cautious in letting them back in as he ought to be. He might act guarded; but those are Cardboard defense#//He may be sterner and more stoic than everyone who knew him growing up saw him as; but he is still the softhearted loving boy he was then
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I’m officially going back to work on Saturday <3
#just a two hour lunch cover. just to see if my knee can handle it or will try to kill me for standing for that long#but it feels like a big step. it feels massive to trust my knee like that again#gotta make sure i do all my exercises between now & then lol to make sure it’s as strong as it needs to be#but god i hate doing squats. i haaaate iiiiiittttttt#i hate doing the lateral band walk even more though. can i tell you a secret? i’ve skipped it the past couple of days#just couldn’t handle it on top of my lunges and my squats and standing on one knee on top of a pillow and swaying side to side to shift#my balance from leg to leg……. and the towel thing which is supposed to be strengthening my shitty vmo#and i thought the calf stretch was bad. BRO. i do the calf stretch ~240 times a day now. 120 per leg#the other night i woke up with one of those really bad cramps in my calf and i did the calf stretch and it went away#anyway. if anyone has any advice for doing squats when it feels like your kneecap may fall off if you do a squat; let me know#also let me know if you have any advice for doing a job where you have to stand and walk and stuff the whole time. and your knee feels like#it’s going to fall off. i am kind of freaking out ngl#i think i’m just going to dose myself up on painkillers; wear my brace and just do it#for god’s sake the assistant manager literally needs a knee replacement and she proceeds. i don’t need a knee replacement. i must be fine#personal
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finally got around to watching the last few episodes of the first season of TDI that i originally lost interest in after Harold got voted out and damn did i forget just how fucking excited i get about Harold. I don't know what's wrong with me but i just nearly dislocated my arm after wrecking my shit with a shitty backflip that i did the second he came on screen in the finale. i have never done a backflip before in my life. harold fuels me
#post#yes its five in the morning yes im up thinking really hard about my blorbo no im not gonna be able to fall asleep after the massive dopamine#hit i just got .#it's fine guys#I'D read his beavers and rats journal. HEATHER.#beavers and rats are COOL#most people leave their relatives precious heirlooms and relics of their childhood when they die but I'M leaving my children with my#massive notepad file where i talk to myself about harold that has so much text in it that my phone slows down when i open it#as you can tell i am normal !#i did however accidentally perform chiropractics on myself earlier when i snapped my head to the left to watch his part of the intro so hard#that my spine partially realigned itself#i do NOT fuck around about harold 💯💯💯#im on that harold grindset babey . up all day up all night thinking about harold 24/7 365#he's my babygirl#my little guy#my scrimbly boingo#<- normal girl who is normal#my jaw hurts from gnashing my teeth because when i get really excited i get the urge to tear things apart with my mouth#i start growling and shit too bro category 7 autism events turn me into some sort of creature or perhaps a beast#adn needless to say the mere vague mention of harold tdi is enough to cause at LEAST a category 7 if not a scale-breaking phenomenon#i dont think i mentioned that im freakishly obsessed with harold tdi . idk if that was clear or not . slash ess ay are see#im not tagging this bro nobody wants to see this . except maybe pissmaster so she can express her concern again but he doesn't have tumblr#and i am NAWT showing them this shit 💯🔥#im probably gonna end up telling him i fucked up a backflip though and whn she inevitably asks why the HELL i was doing a backflip im gonna#have to admit that i got so excited about the Presence of The Harold that i suddenly became an energy faucet so strong i had to#wipe the fuck out to calm myself down#hit my dam head on my headboard and shit#sowwy im subjecting u to this mutuals . ur probably gonna be hearing a lot about this guy for a little while . ok a big while#you know when cats get the zoomies and start doing crazy parkour shit and attacking random shit with their teeth . thsts me when Harold#fuck 30 tags god damn . my final message watch tdi even thoug it stressful as hell so i can talk to u about harold . pleas 👍
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WALKING BACK TO MY CAR AND A GIRL STOPPED HER CAR AND GAVE ME A ROSE???!?!?!? ¿
#and called me beautiful bro what the HAP IS FUCKENING#WHERE DID ALL THE SE LESBIANS COME FROM#WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE#im having like literally the best gay girl fall fr#apple babble 🍎#non fandom#oh my fucki gn goD ajdhjAjhshsqjhsQJJSA
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keroro is resolute... but he's naive and easily led... you could probably talk him into anything with enough conviction especially if you press on to something he already feels emotionally involved in
#musing#im thinking here specifically about episode 11 tbh but im sure it applies in general#he looked up to them so bad. and wanted to be good enough for them and wanted THEM to not let him down so bad that#he did everything they asked. even to his own intense physical detriment. and even to the point of being uncomfortable with it#i mean with asking the girls that at the end#thinking of volume 10 in the manga where with little manipulation kururu was able to get into his head as well. and what dororo says#keroro IS ... gullible. just look at ep31. he means well. but he is extremely gullible#and his weak point to this is. Wanting to be good enough. i think. wanting to succeed#he gets spinned a pretty little tale and he falls for it every time#his own attempts at manipulation are very childish and obvious. the birthday thing. the natsumi sports event thing#so of course he wouldn't easily see it when others do it. and fall for it#he wants to be praised and he is afraid of being abandoned. at his core level. and these two points make it extremely easy to be exploited#because it's not a secret either. the aliens quickly caught on that that was exactly the type of person he was and they leapt for it#anyway bro fell for the keron propaganda hook line and sinker and we must ponder on this#this is a sad musing but he is a sad character what do u want from me
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primrose's ch3 is GOOD btw
#fucking simeon bro.......#i cant yap too hard without doing spoilers so heres another tag to fill space lalalala#ot1 spoilers#octopath spoilers#ANYWAYYY it starts with primrose coming back to her hometown which is already pretty strong#seeing a guy Fucking dying which is a great way to establish the harm done by the obsidian people and establish their power#.because if they didnt have a great amount of political power simeons entire motivation would fall through#but in the flashbacks he was sooo fucking good the writing (+ eng translation) did a good job of creating a gray area#between 'nice guy who is also courteous because primrose is a noble' and 'creep who might have a slightly overbearing crush on this kid'#bc shes like. 8 right ? and hes old enough to work as a gardener w/o his parents also being in service of the azelharts#so probably 17 at least?#ok um. i just looked up his age on the wiki and i dont know what the fuck is going on there#i didnt spoil myself but why is he 126.#anyway i actually feel like thats worse 💀#and then his breakdown calling himself primroses one true love..#shes so good i love the contrast between everyonee calling her beautiful + whatever the fuck helgenish and simeon were doing#and her showing no romantic interest in anyone. romance repulsed icon tbh#3 people this chapter were like 'lady primrose you have grown so beautiful since we last saw you' and shes like 😐#coming back around to simeons twist villain shit they went OFF reinforcing primroses performer theme#'the crowd gasps' etc etc. DAMN BRO#a lot of her story is theatrical drama coded ime. like with the ending narration saying 'tragic or happy ending'#she does seem like a dark take on a princess archetype which is cool#anyway the actual use of the game is good here too#the dark screen after she gets knocked out with the perfectly timed music??#and the flashbacks and the use of the titles on peoples speech bubbles#because the shift from 'simeon' to 'simeon the puppet master' kind kf made me lose it a little bit#RIGHT BEFORE the flashback where hes just 'gardener' ? yeah thats a banger#overall this is fairly simple good storytelling but it all comes together along w the actual game mechanics to make one of my...#... favorite chapters so far. plus im really excited for her ch4 now.
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I'm genuinely getting so worked up over this exam. I'm really gonna arrive in the foulest mood ever ready to fight our professor. This is the dumbest waste of time ever I'm really not learning anything by learning these species lists by head
#'the most important things from this course you'll learn during the excursions'#IM DISABLED AND COULDN'T JOIN SO WHAT NOW.#And the one I did join WASN'T ACCESSIBLE EITHER I WAS IN DANGER OF FALLING OF A HILL BROTHER.#DIDN'T LEARN MUCH THEN EITHER DID I#'was it worth the struggle though? Cus this rly is the most beautiful heischaal grasland (whatever that may be in English) you'll ever c!'#No it wasnt bro it's been a month and I don't think I remember learning anything except where my boundary lies in fearing a fall dont a hill
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I am still so mad about them going along with the single dumbest plan ever.
#the leaks make it worse#“I won't let you ruin the peace [she] made!” bro what peace? where? when someone got shot and someone else got beaten to a pulp#fucking what'll happen when these people start using their new skills to hench for sc*recr*ow or tw*f*ce#because you can not tell me that someone that's learning under her plan won't go right back to working for those assholes#because shocker shocker some people are awful and aide awful individuals for the ideology more than the money#Why the hell did we have that whole P*nchl*ne ordeal a few years back if that wasn't going to be an angle worth considering in the comics?!#if her plan were any good and also NOT blatantly self serving there would be some better way at offboarding potential former henchmen from#aiding villains in the future. Which you know B*tm*n already covers (not perfectly but better than this)#pivoting from one kind of crime to another does not actually reduce crime! it would be better to actually teach them skills#and provide resources that could give them something else to do that isn't helping sc*recr*w with his next mass poisoning of the watersuppl#but long rant shortened the premise of their falling out is so fucking shaky. I agree that they wouldn't take his side but why the hell#would they agree to this stupid fucking plan!#there's no reform and no providing access to anything that would realistically get them to stop career henching! you're only making them#better at it!!!! Also fucking!!! every other villain can just get non-gothamites to hench!!! they would not just give up because they can't#hire locally!! how fucking many times have a gaggle of jerks from other parts of the world just done their crimes in gotham#for the hell of it? Too many times!!!
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welcome to my 2nd smau mlist!! ૮꒰ྀི∩´ ᵕ `∩꒱ྀིა
౨ৎ feel free to send an ask to my inbox if u have an idea for a smau (no suggestive prompts for under 18 characters) ౨ৎ
jjk smaus
✿ waiting outside the car for their boner to go down
✿ asking them if they can feel ur 😽 twitch when you sit on them
✿ gun to ur head me or —
✿ posting a thirst trap online that only they can see
✿ telling them you’re ready to try oral
✿ accidentally liking a photo of theirs
✿ telling them ur parents wanna meet them
✿ their reactions to you packing their lunch
✿ them being jealous over ur shitty boyfriend
✿ asking them to join you in the shower
✿ leaving them money after a 1 night stand
✿ calling them bro
✿ their reactions to your weird cravings
✿ sending them ur location bcs they’re taking too long to come over
✿ wearing their clothes
✿ asking to workout with them
✿ when you fall asleep in the middle of sex
✿ asking them to be rougher in bed
✿ recreating a sex scene from a book
✿ when you take a nap and they think you’re ignoring them
✿ asking them how often they jerk off
✿ flashing them and running away
✿ asking them to help you pick out an outfit but the last option is a nude
✿ asking to paint their nails
✿ asking if they’ve ever sent ur nudes to anyone
✿ “i need a hug”
✿ telling them “you have a pretty face, you should let me sit on it”
✿ telling them “you could’ve been nicer to me today”
✿ their reactions to ur teenager telling you to shut up
✿ “hey bitch what’s for dinner”
✿ having a wet dream about them
✿ their reaction to you leaving a toothbrush at their house
✿ when they’re sick and whiny
✿ asking them if they would cheat on you to save your life
✿ txting them “i expect my dinner to be ready be the time i get home
✿ slamming the door really hard prank
✿ telling them a guy friend is gonna fix ur pipes/car
✿ catching them fall on the ring camera
✿ telling them you got in a fight and need them to fight their boyfriend
✿ how they act when you’re sick
✿ them jealous over ur new pet
✿ asking them for help when ur tampon string breaks
✿ asking them what the weirdest thing they stuck their dick in is
✿ when you reject their cooking
✿ them obsessed with ur pet
✿ asking them if they’d help you hide a body
✿ going into labor while they’re at work
✿ asking them what size condoms to get
✿ them texting you after you die
✿ asking if they’d suck dick to save their life
✿ putting a dirty note in their lunch
✿ when they fall asleep right after sex
✿ telling them u wanna try deepthroating for the first time
✿ asking them to say ur name while they do pushups
✿ them asking “what did i do to deserve you?”
✿ asking what their rice purity score is
✿ sending them an ultrasound to tell them you’re pregnant
✿ asking them if you can take control in bed
✿ not saying i love you back prank
✿ asking what they want for your anniversary
✿ asking if they know where ur phone is when ur on it
✿ putting them on a sex ban
✿ telling them ur not wearing any panties in public
✿ showing off ur new nails by cupping ur tits
✿ doing their makeup while they sleep
✿ “hey handsome/beautiful, those tits sure look heavy…”
✿ jumping out of a car in the middle of an argument
✿ telling them you’re nervous for your first date
✿ wearing pheromone perfume around them
✿ them watching you though the house cameras
✿ telling them no to sex because you haven’t shaved
✿ “I wish you lasted half as long as it takes you to text me back”
✿ when you laugh too hard at someone else’s joke
✿ the jjk characters as ur sugar daddy/mommy
✿ period madness
✿ asking if they’ve tried their own cum
✿ when you’re their sugar mommy
✿ asking to tie a bow around their bicep
✿ when they check your location and see you’re in another country
✿ when you give a creep their number instead of yours
✿ telling them they have grey hairs
✿ asking them to chase you with a ghost face costume on
✿ asking them if you can take sex slow
✿ asking if they can put you as their emergency contact
✿ seeing them across the room with a hard-on
✿ asking how they feel about you starting an onlyfans
✿ watching you perform
✿ telling them you’re going to bed without panties
✿ sending a video of your baby kicking
✿ go ahead and leave them drawls at the door
✿ asking them to massage your boobs
✿ when they get caught taking pervy pics of you
✿ accidentally messaging them while talking about them
✿ when they finish too quick
✿ surprising them with gifts
✿ doing silly stuff to them in their sleep
✿ asking if they miss you right after they left
✿ asking if they’ve ever gotten off to the thought of you before you were together
✿ asking them to do a matching halloween costume
✿ “hey short king”
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