#where people tear up each other and fandom is a competition. it sucks

[bruhstation]

Your art is awesome. Just wanted to share condolences. I write humanized cars 2006 fanfiction and semi-frequently it goes viral on here or on tiktok and I'm flooded with normies and crazies who don't understand or who think humanized vehicle slash is weird (cowards), so I can imagine what you're dealing with. From one humanized wheeled thing lover to another, you deserve the hype but none of the negativity, keep doing you!!!

we’re just over here having fun. chilling in our own corner. then outsiders come and say “omg whatttt” “THIS IS [MEDIA NAME]?” “great art but. what?” like they think our interests are ironic. and we’re committing to a bit. I’m not sad but it’s really annoying and making me roll my eyes like I get it. I’m a lab species instead of a human with hobbies. whatever they wanna say. let’s all hold hands and frolic in the fields

[schmokschmok]

i’ll mako mermaid out of you

Fandom: Voltron: Legendary Defender

Relationship: Keith Kogane x Lance McClain

Characters: Hunk Garrett, Keith Kogane, Lance McClain, Pidge Holt

Wordcount: 6,166

Freeform:

No Archive Warnings Apply

Alternate Universe - Fusion

H2O: Just Add Water Fusion

Mermaids

Comfort/No Hurt

Summary:

It's Lance's idea to steal Coran's boat to go to Mako Island, so it's basically his own fault that he'll never swim competitively again.

Read on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29940753 

CN: Anxiety Attack, Blood (not graphic); Mentions of Death & Food

#1

What could go wrong?, Lance said.

It’s not stealing if we’re bringing Coran’s boat back before dusk, Keith agreed.

I don’t think it’s a good idea. Maybe we should wait ’til tomorrow, Hunk objected.

Vroom, vroom, motherfuckers!, Pidge exclaimed as they jumped into Coran’s boat. Get in, losers, we’re going Mako Island.

Keith’s got to confess that it seemed like a good idea when Lance first suggested it: Borrowing Coran’s boat, driving out to Mako Island, examining the bush. (He would be lying if he said that he didn't think about all the rumours of supernatural phenomena surrounding Mako Island. And he would also be lying if he said that he didn't feel excitement rush through him at the mere thought of finding signs of monsters or cryptids.) But now that they're trapped inside a fucking volcano, he begins to regret every decision that led them to this point.

“It’s too steep,” Pidge says, not for the first time. They stand at the tunnel they all climbed down about half an hour ago, Hunk’s next to them, and they both won't stop looking for a way out the same way they got in.

Keith and Lance, on the other hand, are pretty sure there's no chance they could climb up again. (Keith tried, okay, but if he can’t do it, it’ll be impossible for Pidge.) So, their fingers search for openings in the wall while their feet carefully avoid stepping into the pool in the middle of the room.

“Found anything, yet?” Lance asked from the other side of the pool.

Keith wipes sweat from his forehead and shakes his head before he replies: “No. Nothing.” He turns around and catches sight of Lance who's feverishly patting at the stone as if there could be an opening if he just looked thoroughly enough.

The full moon shines brightly through an opening at the top of the cave, seeping into almost every nook and illuminating the water, the floor and the crowns of their heads. Maybe, if they wait just a little longer, there could be enough light to see properly. Maybe that will help them find an alternative exit.

“Hey gays,” Pidge says suddenly. “There are tide marks on the stone.” They're sitting at the water now and feel up the edge with the tips of their fingers. Right beside them is Hunk crouching down to verify their assessment. “There has to be a connection to the ocean.”

Cautiously making his way back over to Hunk and Pidge, Keith attempts to look for a passage deep down in the water, but he can’t make anything out in the darkness. He wants to say It’s worth a try. However, in the exact same moment Keith opens his mouth, Lance says: “Heck, only one way to find out!” And he jumps in like there is not even the slightest possibility of sharks on the other side; like he could just do that without Keith jumping right after him.

And Keith definitely would have rushed into the water mindlessly if it wasn’t for Pidge’s hand on his shin holding him back. (He wants to look down and reassure Pidge that everything’s alright because of the way their fingers claw their way into his clothes and the underlying skin, but he can’t avert his gaze from the point where Lance disappeared into the darkness with not more than having taken off his shoes.)

It feels like forever until little bubbles surface and Lance emerges with a smug grin on his face. (Hunk, Pidge and Keith release a breath they all very much knew they were holding.) Almost floating, he moves his arms in little motions to stay above the surface.

On one hand Keith really wants to smack him, on the other hand he’s glad that their escape seems to be easier than feared. Lance’s voice echoes off the stone walls: “It’s not far. Everyone could do it. A toddler could do it. Even Pidge could do it.” Maybe his grin is even wider than before.

Sighing, Hunk takes off his shoes, slides his feet over the edge of the pool and slowly sinks into the water to Lance, with clear disdain on his face. Following his example, Keith crouches down to remove his shoes, when he hears Pidge’s voice low and almost inaudible near his ear: “Keith, I … I can’t do this.”

“I don’t think it’s that bad,” Keith replies irritated and glances at their face. “Lance says it’s not too far.” They wince and move the hand they were leaning on in front of their body. (Keith doesn’t want to make a scene or draw attention to them but it’s hard given the fact that they’re only four people in one single volcano.)

“Keith, yes, it is,” Pidge says in a hushed tone, perhaps even quieter than before. “I never told you because I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it but … I don’t really know how to, y’know, swim.” Nervously, their index finger and thumb adjust their glasses and it’s obvious they expect some sort of comedic response or mild laughter but Keith only furrows.

“It’s okay. You don’t have to. We got this,” Keith reassures them, before gesturing towards their shoes. “Take them off. And don’t think we’re not going to talk about this later.” He sinks into the water, before reaching out to Pidge, who’s just now pocketing their glasses, encouraging them with a small smile to trust him. And, surprisingly, they accept the hand he’s offering without questioning him. Hesitatingly, they lower their body.

They can’t stand (in fact, none of them can) and Pidge holds onto Keith, panic evident on their face. To comfort them, Keith slings his arm around their waist.

“Everything’s alright?” Hunk asks, moving closer to them. “Pidge, you don’t look too well.” Wax-pale face and shaky hands, they nod, maybe a tick too frantic, but Hunk and Lance don’t seem to realise their emotional state. At least for now.

And that is precisely the moment the full moon is finally in its zenith, filling up the whole opening at the top of the cave. The water surrounding them begins to bubble and glow in an iridescent blue light. An unnatural fog builds up right above the water surface and disperses the moonlight between their bodies.

“What the fuck? What the actual ever-loving fuck?” Pidge screeches, while basically scrambling to get on top of Keith. Every word out of their mouth is accentuated by near hysterical panic and huffed, air sucking breaths.

In a nigh impossible attempt to not suffocate or drown, Keith holds Pidge in place, fingers digging into the hem of their top and stabilising their hip, while gulping down air and staying afloat. (But he’s barely holding it together himself because this? This is not natural. And it’s probably not good.)

Lance and Hunk cling to each other, indulging in litanies of oh, my gods and what the hecks.

It only lasts for a few seconds until the full moon surpasses its zenith and the water calms down, glow slowly fading. Aghast and brimming over with fear, Lance separates from Hunk and exclaims: “We should get the heck outta here.”

Hunk and Keith nod, then Hunk and Lance disappear below the surface without another word.

“Inhale deeply and don’t let go. On three,” Keith says, before counting to three in a low voice. Almost at the same moment Keith and Pidge inhale and submerge, following Lance and Hunk through the dark water and the passage deep down to the other side of the stone wall.

It only takes about thirty seconds until they reach the other side and break through the surface, able to breathe again. Not even for a moment did Keith’s grip on Pidge loosen. Nonetheless, they look deranged and almost close to tears. They suck in air heavily and cling onto Keith as if he’d let go any second now.

“Only a few metres, now,” Keith huffs, more paddling than swimming but without getting far.

Suddenly, there’s a second arm around Pidge’s waist and half of their weight gets lifted off his shoulder. Their face is still buried in his neck and their hot, heavy breath meets his exposed skin. Keith smiles at Hunk who lends him a hand and together they make their way to the shore under Lance’s sorrowful eye.

Pidge’s breath becomes shallower and shallower. They attempt to control it by forcefully holding their breath and then slowly releasing it. But it doesn’t seem to work. The shallow little breaths return.

Keith’s feet hit the ground just a moment after Hunk’s. With joined forces they carry Pidge onto the beach and set them down on the sandy ground. Or at least try to because Pidge won’t let go of Keith and he hangs awkwardly in the air right above them, placing his entire weight on his knees.

“What’s going on?” Lance’s low voice is almost inaudible because Pidge’s laboured breath is drowning out about nearly everything around them.

Voice matched to a soft murmur, Hunk answers: “Not sure.”

Keith wants to tell them what’s going on, just to make sure that they don’t worry too much, but it’s not his place to tell them Pidge’s secret, is it? (At least they’re keeping their distance in an attempt to lessen the pressure on Pidge.)

Keith’s hands wrap around Pidge’s and free him with slow, gentle movements from their grip. While carefully pushing them away from him, Keith murmurs comforting words to calm them down. (He’s not even sure what he’s saying.)

“You know, you’re seriously badass,” he says, and Pidge lets out a sound akin to a laugh. “No, no, no. I mean it. That was incredibly brave, Pidge Gunderson.”

“Fuck you, Keith,” Pidge huffs in between sobs, then they let themselves fall onto their back and giggle hysterically. “Shit! Shit!” Keith sits down next to them, and Hunk and Lance join them, still unsure how to handle the situation.

“You’re gonna tell us what’s going on?” Lance asks as he’s searching for Keith’s hand on the ground. Their fingers interlace with each other and Keith gives Lance a small smile.

Even though Pidge was in the process of wiping tears from their face, they make a dismissive gesture with their hand, telling Keith to answer for them.

“Well, apparently Pidge thought swimming would be a useless skill, so they never bothered to learn.” Lance freezes. The only reason Keith even realizes it is because Lance's grip on his hand tightens. He doesn't say anything and neither does Keith. Instead, it's Hunk who speaks up.

“Oh my god, Pidge, why didn't you say anything?” It's obvious he's working himself up and Keith knows for a fact how horrible it is to feel guilty on top of a panic attack, that's why he's shooting Hunk a look who immediately ducks his head and blushes.

“Pidge, is it okay if I hug you?” Hunk asks next, slowly reaching out to them but merely hovering above their arm, unsure if he's allowed to touch them.

A soft voiced and shaky “that would be nice” later, Hunk wraps his arms around Pidge and squeezes them tight against his chest. The pressure on their ribcage seems to force them to even out their breathing, and after good half a minute, it looks like they’re finally in control over their body again.

Lance is uncharacteristically quiet beside Keith, and Keith throws a glance out of the corner of his eyes towards him. There’s a tension between his eyebrows and his lips form a hard line, discontent oozing from every single pore.

“You okay?” Keith asks lowly as to not disturb Pidge’s and Hunk’s moment, ready to get brushed off by Lance who never really liked being called out on his insecurities, especially not in front of other people. Even if these people are his best friends. (It’s a strict one-person confidentiality with Lance, has always been.)

“It's just … they go to the beach with us regularly. I dropped them into the ocean several times. I could have killed them.” Lance stumbles over the words trying to come out too quickly and all at the same time, hushed voice almost breathless. Suddenly, all blood drains from his face, he’s even paler in the light of the moon, and he stares right past Keith at Pidge.

“Did you just,” Lance can’t seem to decide whether he wants to sound outraged or scared shitless. “Did you just dive, like, under water? Even though you can’t swim?! Pidge, what the heck!” Keith tightens his grip on Lance’s hand, but the tension in Lance’s shoulders doesn’t ease the slightest, and Lance doesn’t even close his mouth all the way before he continues. “This is dangerous as fuck, Pidge!”

It’s not hard to see how this is going to go if nobody stops Lance right this second. Keith can hear Pidge’s breathing picking up again and feel the rapid beating of Lance’s heart in the space between his fingers.

“Lance,” Keith says with a finality in his voice, “this is not helping. And you know I wouldn’t have let them drown. Matt would kill me. They’re stuck with us.”

Lance groans in response but keeps quiet otherwise. Keith doesn’t know what he did to shut Lance up, but this is clearly not the time to question it, so he turns towards Pidge and Hunk, the latter finally letting go of the former.

“I for one,” Keith continues, calling the attention to himself, “think we should get the fuck out of here.”

And no one tries to argue with him.

#2

It’s only been a day since they’ve come back from Make Island, hurriedly bringing back Coran’s boat before he can realise it’s been missing in the first place. Keith fell right into bed after a quick shower to wash off the sea salt because he can imagine all too clearly Lance’s smug comments about his dried up, flaky skin if he wouldn’t. And the thought alone is enough to warrant precautions.

He’s been lying in bed all day, only getting up to snack through the kitchen and bother Shiro during lunch hour. But after a few hours he got restless, skin itching with the need to go out again and exercise in any shape or form. So, he slipped into knee-length joggers and a tank to take a short run through the neighbourhood.

The first ten minutes stretch longer than anticipated, exhaustion from a too short night still prevalent. (He hasn’t talked to Pidge yet, anger at their carelessness and dishonesty predominating now that the initial worry has worn off. But it’s not their fault, they didn’t really lie about anything, and it’s in their right to not disclose information. So, he’s left with aimless anger that he’ll hopefully run out of his system.)

After almost half an hour, he finally feels more at ease, the steady thrum of his feet on the pavement soothing his nerves and lulling him into a somewhat peaceful state of mind.

And that’s when he runs past a sprinkler, right through the spray, seeking out every little refreshment in the summer heat he can find, and, all of a sudden, losing the ground underneath his feet, falling face first into the wet grass.

Keith doesn’t know what just happened, rolling onto his back to stare at the sky self-pityingly for a second, breath coming and going in short, controlled bouts. When he tries to plant the sole of his feet on the ground to get up again, he realises that he can’t and props himself up on his elbows to take a look at his feet, getting caught completely off-guard by the sheer absence of his feet. And legs. In lieu, a red scaled fish tail flops aimlessly on the ground.

“What the fuck,” Keith says to no one in particular, not even in the right mind to thank every deity in existence that there is no one to witness his incoming breakdown.

Without his own volition, his right hand reaches out and prods at a stray scale on his hipbone where the tail bleeds out into his skin.

Now, Keith knows the weirdest thing should be that suddenly he’s half fish or whatever, but he can’t comprehend that right now anyways, so he’s mostly weirded out by the fact that it doesn’t feel like he’s touching skin but more like applying pressure to a finger- or toenail. It’s not a real touch, but the ghostly remnant of applied pressure. It feels terrible and Keith fucking hates it.

“What the fuck,” he says again for emphasis, because how is he supposed to explain this to Shiro? Shiro, gotta move out, live under the sea, doing fish things? That's not going to happen.

He tries to get up a few times, to find footing even though he knows it's impossible. Because if he doesn't try to fight his tail, what is he going to do?

A few unsuccessful attempts later, hands and forearms covered in grass stains and dirt, he thinks that if he can't get up and walk away, he can still crawl his way back to safety. (His mind helpfully supplies him with Lance's name and face, apparently the only choice at hand as Shiro is still at work and Lance is the only human in Keith's life that he knows like the back of his hand. And for the first time ever it actually proves useful because Keith knows that around this time Lance is training for an upcoming swimming competition.)

Digging his elbows into the ground, Keith crawls his way off the grass, only to be met by the rough texture of the pavement that scrapes across his abdomen and tail in the most painful way possible. Dragging skin (or scales for that matter) across asphalt is admittedly not the smartest decision Keith has ever made.

For a moment he contemplates just rolling the whole way, but he’s as quick to dismiss it entirely when he experimentally rolls onto his back and sees the blood and dust clinging to his skin. Maybe the pavement had been rougher than anticipated.

His head drops onto the ground with a low thud, and Keith can’t hold back an exasperated groan. If anyone’s going to see him, he’s sure to find himself within a fish tank in under an hour. (Is he able to breathe underwater? What if he’s just a dude with a fish tail and can’t even breathe underwater, but they think he’s some kind of mythical mermaid creature in desperate need of water, and he drowns?) This can’t possibly get any worse, he thinks.

The sprinkler splutters to a halt, and the only thing Keith can hear is the crying and chattering of the seagulls and the ships and boats dashing through the water not too far away. Just one single human being with binoculars could end his suffering – or his life, depending on their nature. At least he’s still in the sun, slowly but steadily drying off (and out? He’s still not sure how this is supposed to work).

In the end, it doesn’t take too long for him to be completely dry again and a prickling sensation to set in in his legs – tail, whatever. He wonders surprisingly clear headed if this is how he’s going to die. Just softly prickling to death until nothing is left but a few stray red scales.

But instead of losing consciousness or ascending into another plane of existence, the collar of his shoe starts digging into his heel rather uncomfortably. Keith wonders if he did something wrong in this or in his past life to deserve dying with a shoe collar pressing into his Achilles tendon.  

Keith shoots upright with wide eyes and stares at his shoes, at the exposed skin of his shin and finally his grey joggers, trying to comprehend that the tail is gone. No scales, no fins, nothing. Not a single trace of his mermaid moment. This time around, Keith wonders if he hit his head on Mako Island, and the resulting concussion made him hallucinate for about ten minutes.

He doesn’t know what to do or think, so he jumps up and takes up his run again, changing directions towards the public pool in hope of catching Lance.

The pool comes in sight in record time, and if Keith had more on his mind than fuckfuckfuck, he’d probably be at least a little bit proud of the fact that he’s not panting in utter exhaustion as he passes through the gates and heads straight for the pool Lance is most likely to train.

When he reaches the pool, he can already spot Lance’s brown head of hair, surprisingly dry. Not a single drop of water clings to his skin even though he’s sitting right next to the water, only inches separating him from being able to dip his toes. His arms wrapped around his knees, he rests his head on them, too, gaze loosely directed at the surface, but Keith’s quick to realise that Lance doesn’t actually look at the water. He’s far off with his thoughts, and he almost jumps in shock when Keith flops down beside him.

“Jesus Christ, Keith,” Lance exclaims, hand pressed against his rapidly beating heart, “make a noise, dude.”

Keith doesn’t answer, studying Lance’s pale face instead, almost reaching out to touch one of Lance’s freckles to will the rest of his face into colour again, but he holds himself back in the last second possible, hand hovering aimlessly in the air until he places it gently on Lance’s shoulder as if that had been the plan all along.

“Everything okay?” Keith asks.

“Yeah, I’m good,” Lance replies defensively, obviously not good in the slightest. “You spooked me, that’s all.”

Keith nods, and silence engulfs them for a few heartbeats while they look at each other. Keith with an imploring gaze, Lance with a closed off expression as if he’d stand a chance not telling Keith what’s going on with him.

“Did something happen?” Keith asks after a moment because if Lance is in a bad mood, his ten-minute fish tail hallucination can surely wait half an hour or longer. Maybe he doesn’t have to talk about it at all again. If he’s waiting long enough, he’ll forget it himself. Maybe. Eventually.

Lance (who is really, really bad at keeping anything secret from Keith) almost mewls in uneasiness, but quickly corrects his outburst with a dismissive: “You won’t believe me if I tell you.”

“Maybe,” Keith agrees, trying to keep his tone light. “Maybe I will. You’ll never know if you don’t at least try.”

Furrowing his brow, Lance seems to contemplate Keith’s words, weighing his options against each other, growing visibly more anxious with every second that ticks by. But Keith keeps quiet, gives Lance the space to make up his mind. And even if he doesn’t want to (and even if it will be the hardest thing to do) if Lance decides that he doesn’t want to tell Keith, then Keith will accept that, too. (Is that character growth? Shiro’ll be so proud of him, disgusting.)

From one second to the other, Lance’s gaze hardens in earnestness, and he straightens up, turning towards Keith, opening up his whole posture to puff up his chest while he says determinedly: “I can’t tell you.” He pauses as if to muster up all the courage in his bones. “But I can show you.”

In one flowing movement, Lance stands up and extends his hand for Keith to take, then he hoists him up with surprisingly little effort, and Keith’s cheeks heat up embarrassingly. But Lance doesn’t pay him any mind, just drags him along with their still intertwined hands.

“You can’t show me here?” Keith asks in confusion, watching Lance shake his head in response.

“I cannot. Under no circumstance,” Lance replies, not slowing down in the slightest when Keith almost trips on his own feet trying to trail after him.

They leave Lance’s bag behind, and Keith is soon to realise that they’re walking towards the beach, the rocky part where Keith knows for certain that the possibility of running into other people is slim. – He has no idea whatsoever why Lance would drag him there.

“Why did you come anyway?” Lance asks absentmindedly, clearly preoccupied with his own problem at hand.

So, Keith decides that it really, really doesn’t matter what he thought he experienced, and says dismissively: “Nothing of importance. It can wait”, and it can. Lance’s thing is much more important, whatever it may be. (And if Keith gets enough distance between himself and the aching scrapes on his stomach, then he can ignore the episode forever. Probably.)

“Okay,” Lance says lowly, and they don’t talk for the remainder of their way. Which is unsettling in its own way, because Keith can count on one hand the times that Lance hasn’t filled their silence with mindless chatter and exaggerated retellings of stories Keith has heard a hundred times before. Not one of those times had been a happy one.

He tries to swallow down the agitation welling up inside him, but it’s harder than anticipated to swallow down something that has already nested just inches shy of his stomach. Needless to say that he doesn’t feel calmer when they finally reach the beach and Lance climbs down the stairs, still pulling at Keith’s hand to ensure that he’s still following, still coming, still present.

After a short walk around and over a few large rocks, they reach a small part of the beach that is entirely secluded from the rest, sheltered from prying eyes and curious minds, and Lance comes to a halt, back still turned to Keith, but still holding onto Keith’s hand as if he’s in constant fear of Keith disappearing on him. (As if Keith could leave Lance. As if anything on this planet could make Keith leave Lance. It’s ridiculous.)

“I’m going to show you something,” Lance says before turning around and staring into Keith’s face, looking for something Keith can’t comprehend. “And you’re going to stay calm.”

“Yeah, I thought that’s why we’re here,” Keith retorts impatiently, agitation growing steadily, but Lance doesn’t let himself be bothered by Keith’s temperament. They’ve known each other for so long, Lance is probably not surprised by anything Keith does anymore. (Well, except the whole tail thing. Which Keith won’t bring up, so Lance doesn’t even get the chance to be surprised. Check and mate or whatever.)

A shaky smile appears on Lance’s lips, and he lets go of Keith’s hand all of a sudden, leaving behind a sense of loss Keith only experiences when Lance touches him and withdraws again. It’s a unique feeling that reminds him unpleasantly of the equally unique flutter in his abdomen whenever he sees Lance after too much time apart. (Too much is a malleable phrase, because on some days Keith can’t even escape the flutter when Lance comes back from the kitchen after getting up to fetch them a glass of water or a snack for their movie night.)

Lance walks backwards, eyes trained on Keith, until only a few inches separate him from the roll of the waves lapping against the sandy shore. With a last shaky breath, Lance repeats: “Remember, stay calm,” and takes a huge step backwards, suddenly ankle-deep in salt water.

For a moment, nothing happens. Lance just stares at him in apprehension, obviously waiting for something to happen. Keith is about to open his mouth to ask Lance what the fuck he’s thinking he’s doing, when the water around Lance’s feet starts to bubble, and his knees give out under him, sending him into the shallow water with a surprised yelp.

“What the fuck,” Keith hears himself say, not for the first time today, and most likely not for the last. “Lance!”

Keith stumbles forward a few steps, scrambling towards Lance, but he freezes as soon as his feet come too close to the steady waves, because now that he’s not only focused on Lance’s toppling, he realises that Lance seems to be more disgruntled and unhappy than hurt. Which could be caused by the large blue fish tail he wears like his least favourite shoes.

“What the fuck,” Keith repeats, loud enough for Lance to hear him, too. Because, let’s be honest, what else could he possibly say. Today is one big clusterfuck of a shitshow, and Keith doesn’t have the emotional range anymore to respond accordingly.

“I don’t know, man,” Lance calls back, even though Keith could probably hear him too if he were whispering. “You’re not going to, like, freak out on me, are you?”

“No,” Keith lies, you know, like a liar. He even shakes his head for good measure.

Displaying his vast knowledge of Keith’s tone of voice and every single expression Keith could sport at any given moment, Lance says: “Sure thing, buddy, please don’t, like, pass out or anything, I couldn’t catch you if I tried.”

“Yeah,” Keith says. He says: “No. I get it.”

“You do?” Lance’s voice is sceptical, and he furrows his brows again. Obviously dissatisfied with Keith’s reaction to the whole situation. Or rather lack of reaction. (Maybe he doesn’t know Keith as well as Keith knows him. Or maybe Keith is a terrible human being with one puzzle piece up his sleeve that Lance can’t possibly know about.)

“Yeah, still in shock, I guess,” Keith replies easily, toeing his shoes off his feet and taking the smallest step known to man toward the water. “Funny thing is that I came by to talk to you, too.”

“You said it’s not important,” Lance responds, face growing even more disgruntled. “We’re talking about my thing right now, Keith, get with the program.”

That pries a self-deprecating chuckle from Keith’s lips, and he draws in another deep breath, before he steps forward, cold sea water embracing his feet like an old friend. – Maybe they’re really friends now, considering the big fucking tail that appears where Keith’s legs have been until a second ago, sending him down into the water right on top of Lance who’s yelping in surprise again.

“You dick,” Lance splutters, mouth full of sea water. But then his eyes zero in on Keith’s tail and they grow wide in shock. He scrambles, fingers digging into wet sand until they hit Keith’s scales for the first time and hold onto them like Keith’s tail is Lance’s lifeline. Lance screeches: “This is not important? Not relevant enough to mention once?”

Being propped up on his elbows complicates Keith’s attempts of shrugging, but he thinks he’s getting the point across when he retorts: “You said you had something on your mind.”

For the first time almost completely engulfed by water, Keith tries to ignore the burning of the salt in the scrapes on his stomach, only to relent and navigate his tail into the same direction as Lance’s while rolling onto his back to lift his stomach out of the water.

Meanwhile Lance questions: “Have you always been a merman? Did you bite me to turn me into a merman, too?”, completely ignoring Keith’s admission. He eyes the contrast of their tails – red and blue, both unnatural like poisonous fishes –, wandering until they settle on his stomach, finally taking in Keith’s scratched up skin. “What happened to you?”

“Went for a run, got into contact with water, didn’t know it would end when it dries off, tried to move on asphalt anyway,” Keith rattles off detachedly, taking in the way Lance’s tail bleeds out into his back, singular scales just shy off the dimples above his hip bone. (The tail looks far better on Lance, but Keith won’t say that out loud.) “You seriously think I’d werewolf you into becoming a mermaid, Lance?”

“Maybe merfolk is immortal, and you just can’t live without me anymore,” Lance replies smugly, obviously growing accustomed to the thought that they’re amphibian now. Or whatever else the fuck mermaids are.

Keith decides to give Lance one more win to keep him from getting anxious again, even though he’s not sure if Lance really needs another reason to be self-complacent: “Well, if I were an immortal mermaid and I could turn you into my kind with a bite, maybe I’d do it.”

Lance grins at him now, big and wide and rosy-cheeked, and he lifts his wet hand to gently brush a strand of Keith’s hair out of his face. He doesn’t take his hand back, however. It settles on Keith’s cheek instead, cool skin soothing Keith’s fluttering nerves.

“You know,” Lance says, and his words don’t have the same joking quality to them anymore, clearing a path for earnestness that threatens to spill into Keith’s heart, “if I had to spend eternity with an immortal fish, I’d rather it be you.”

And Lance doesn’t know what he elicits in Keith’s soul, that he throws blotting paper into the burning hot flames of Keith’s yearning right beneath his skin. Lance doesn’t know, and it infuriates Keith greatly, beyond anything else. – And in extenuation of Keith as a person, he never said he’s got any impulse control, and just because he’s grown as a person since his angry teenage years, don’t make him less of a hothead. So, it’s to exactly no one’s surprise that Keith reaches out to Lance, cupping his face hastily and probably a little bit on the rough side to pull him close enough to kiss him.

Keith is not a strong man – mentally wise. He’s really, really weak emotionally speaking. And not kissing Lance has been on his agenda for so long now that he surprises himself with the fact that he didn’t do it sooner. Because only now that he actually does it, he realises just how natural it feels to have Lance pressed against him, bare skin on bare skin.

It doesn’t take long for Keith to realise that Lance hasn’t exactly kissed him back, which is as unsettling as it is anxiety inducing, so he pulls back only to be met by Lance’s wide eyes and slack jaw. Keith’s hand falls down, leaves Lance’s face hurriedly, but Lance stays glued to Keith’s cheek, mouth opening in quiet awe. (Oh, God, Keith really hopes it’s awe.)

“You kissed me,” Lance says matter-of-factly, eyes still widened in surprise.

Keith sighs sheepishly. “Yeah.”

“And we’re both some kind of weird half-mermaid,” Lance states for good measure.

Keith averts his eyes, not knowing where to look instead. “Yeah.”

“What the fuck,” Lance says.

“What the fuck,” Keith agrees.

And then Lance’s lips find his again, and he’s suddenly confronted with half a lap of blue fish tail while Lance’s second hand joins his first, burying themselves into Keith’s hair like it’s the only thing they were ever intended to do.

This time, Keith doesn’t immediately kiss back, still kind of reeling from the whiplash of Lance throwing himself at Keith. And Lance pulls back, almost bending over backwards in an attempt to give Keith some space if he wants it, because Lance is a good guy. (Which is probably the reason Keith fell for him in the first place.)

“This wasn’t some spur of the moment split second decision, was it?” Lance asks almost breathlessly. “You’re not going to back out on me, are you?”

“Kinda, I mean: No—well, I didn’t plan on it,” Keith says, shaking his head to drive his point home. Whatever that point may be. “Not going to back out, though. Don’t worry.”

Lance’s face almost splits in half with a smile so blindingly boyish that Keith forgets to breathe for a moment. He wants to frame this moment, savour it for as long as possible, and never ever let go of Lance’s face or arms or hip. (He will, they can’t stay in the water forever. But a guy can dream, right?)

(Kissing Lance is intoxicating, and it definitely makes up for the throng of hypothetical questions and hypotheses Lance throws his way in between, trying to examine every last possibility of their new state of being before plunging into the water and experiencing it first-hand, even though Keith can��t answer one of them because he’s as new to this as Lance. – Kissing Lance might even be the best thing Keith has ever done, and while he’s still a bit peeved that it took them so long to finally do it, he can’t help himself but think that he doesn’t mind the tail as much now that it is evident that it’s the catalysator of bottled-up feelings Keith didn’t think he could have endured any longer.)

Being a merman is kind of amazing. (Even if Pidge doesn’t agree.)

[theshinsun]

....Crushing, You Wanna Dance Mothafucka?, FTM Brazil OiHina, Golden bc you Know I'm a sucker for GWGE and modern ATLA HAVE FUN and thank you my dude!! <3

Crushing

or, “How to confess your feelings to your arrogant, melancholy, possibly-bisexual power forward with a terrifying but very attractive face, by Sakurai Ryo”

Excerpt: 

He hadn’t meant to look. Not for any extended period of time, and certainly not with the intent of satisfying his own curiosity or observing in any way without Aomine-san’s knowledge and consent, it was just… in the locker rooms it was sometimes difficult to avoid confronting such realities... noticing things…

Things like the rich, burnished tan that extended all the way down the muscular expanse of Aomine-san’s long, bare back. The flex of his broad shoulders as he shrugged out of his school uniform, the accidental glimpse of two little dimples peeking out over the waistband of his shorts that made Ryo want to just die. Just lay face down on the linoleum floor and let the evening janitorial staff dispose of his remains.

You Wanna Dance Mothafucka?

I wanna write AoKise dancing together. I wanna write an AoKise dance battle, I have a mighty need for this concept and I’m not content to wait til I finish my college AU to put it out there. I’ve gained such a new respect for Kise as a character and I’d love to give him some time to shine, with my best boy in tow of course. I’d probably go the route of an AU where they haven’t met, run into each other at a club, get way too competitive and tear it up on the dance floor, and meet up after (possibly in the restroom) to make out/fool around all flushed and sweaty it’d be pure pwp. 

FTM Brazil OiHina

there aren’t enough people losing their minds over Brazil Hinata you guys. there’s also not enough people writing OiHina. there are people creating some (fantastic) FTM Hinata content, but I wanna intersect all of these things in one fic. the manga destroyed my soul I still can’t believe the Brazil arc is canon... anyway I just got an idea to do a oneshot where Oikawa finds out Hinata is trans when he sees his top surgery scars during one of their games, they have a respectful albeit humorous discussion (about high school and making assumptions and how “omg I couldn’t tell at all!” isn’t actually a compliment). somewhere along the line talking about past teams/relationships Hinata confesses to having had a crush on Oikawa, and maaaaaybe goes with him back to his hotel room instead of going home and maybe they kiss or smth, I’m still fuzzy on the details but I’d very much like to make this happen.

Golden

I’ve been toying with the idea of rewriting Girl With Golden Eyes to be more accurate and concise for awhile now... a year or two at least. only recently have I considered rehauling the story entirely (I wouldn’t scrap the original, and the new version might not even follow the same plotline... the common thread would mainly be the concept of addict Aomine)

Major changes would include:

AoKise as the main pairing (“golden” referencing his hair and eyes as well as being a euphemism for heroin, opportunity for a longer-standing established relationship, Kise’s lightheartedness contrasting the severity of the situation and eventually leading to denial/downplaying on his part)

a more gradual descent into drug abuse for Aomine; starting with alcohol, prescription pain killers and other downers before jumping into heroin, if at all

more realistic portrayals of the effects of each drug, addiction, relapse and recovery in general (I did my research for the previous fic but it’s still extremely inaccurate in many areas)

a little less melodrama overall, but no less emotional struggle and suffering this is me we’re talking about

I’d probably cut it down to about 6-8 chapters max, possibly longer installments, but with less unnecessary filler and more plot and character-driven action

some kind of overlying message with more nuance than “drugs bad”?

modern ATLA

in the middle of the Avatar renaissance I got a surge of inspiration to try my hand at a modern AU (honestly, who didn’t?) and drafted out a whole-ass outline. I’ve never written for this fandom before but I was very quickly sucked into Zukka hell and I might still give it a go if I ever get my drive back.

it’d be a high school AU, and I’d have Zuko as the super closeted, internalized-homophobia-having senior with Mai as his beard, he doesn’t have many friends, is tormented by his extremely popular but vicious in a Heathers way sister, pretends the scar that takes up a little less than half his face is just an unfortunate birthmark and his relationship with his dad is fine, and in general is in denial about everything in his life.

enter certified jock/nerd combo Sokka, who has never worn sleeves in his life, runs track, captain of the mathletes, on the chess club and the slam poetry team, he does it all. the class clown, openly bi and generally just confident in himself. he’s got a super supportive dad, a scary younger sister and some amazing friends, but an underlying layer of tragic backstory involving his mom (something he shares in common with Zuko). the rest of the gaang features and there’s shenanigans abound.

...anyway there’s no way I have the skill or the patience to pull off the 60k+ novel this concept deserves, but maybe I’ll try writing it in little segments if the fancy strikes me again. 

[applsauss]

Origin Story

Description: You’re the hero of your own story. (Prelude to BLiNK: The Story of an All-American Hero)

Fandom: My Hero Academia


Pairing: (Eventual) Bakugou Katsuki/Reader

Word Count: 2.2k+

Warning(s): Brief Description of Domestic Abuse (Father/Daughter).

“I am not worthless! Stop talking to me like that!” This isn’t the first time your father’s yelled at you and it’s not the first time you’ve talked back, but in this moment, something in him seems to snap.

You hear the sound of his hand hitting your face before you register the pain of the slap. It’s a loud crack, and it makes your head whip to the side. You hear your grandmother gasp from over by the sink, and your cheek begins to itch, becoming unbearably hot with pain.

When you finally manage to turn back and look at your father, he’s huffing with fury, shoulders squared and rising and falling with each loud breath he takes. You’ve never seen him fight in the ring, but you imagine that this is what it looks like. To have him direct that sort of expression at you is bodily terrifying. 

“Get out,” your grandma says before you can react at all. Her sudden interjection has both you and your father turning towards her in surprise. Her eyes are narrowed in a hard glare and she’s clenching a dish towel in her shaking fists. 

Your dad opens his mouth to say something, but is interrupted again by your grandmother. “Get out!” she shrieks this time, taking a step towards her son. It’s almost comical, her accent, how small she is compared to your father’s imposing height. “Get out! Get out!” She takes a step towards him, and he jumps, a slack-jawed expression stuck on his face. 

“Get out! Get out of my goddamn house!” She shouts, voice shaking in anger. She begins to angrily approach your dad, throwing her hand out to whip him with the towel, and he finally jumps into gear, stumbling backwards towards the front door. His back hits it, and still, he says nothing as he stares, wide-eyed, at her. 

She whips him with the towel again, this time on his collar, close to his face, and he’s shaking as he fights with the doorknob, then falls into the hallway. “And don’t you ever show your face here again! No son of mine lays a hand on his daughter like that!” She continues shouting, chasing him out to the stairs. Then she steps back into the apartment, and slams the front door shut so hard it rattles in the frame.

Your cheek stings, your face is hot with shame, and you’re frozen in the kitchen, shoulders so tense you feel like they could cramp. You stare angrily at the floor until it blurs, and then you hiccup. 

“Oh, child,” your grandmother tuts as she returns to your side, gently smoothing your hair away from your face, then dragging you down into a hug. “Stop your whimpering. You’re fine.” 

At the gentle affection, you start to cry harder, clutching onto her apron and burying your face into her shoulder until you have no more tears left. She leads you to the kitchen table, and you sit, pliant and emotionless, as she serves you an early dinner. 

“Eat your food. You have lessons after this, don’t you?” She urges gently, like she’s forgotten she hates how you insist on learning Muay Thai, the same sport your father had dedicated his life to.  ‘Look what good it did him,” she would usually tell you after cuffing the back of your head. She doesn’t say it now, though.

Your father’s words ring in your ears: “You’ll never be anything but a sad bitch. You’re a waste of space -- worthless.” 

When you were younger, even if he only showed up when he was out of money, you thought of him as a hero. The people he fought in the underground rings he frequented were the villains, and he would punch them into submission, save the day and come back to you and your grandma. 

Worthless. He’s wrong, you know he’s wrong, but he’s your dad, and what if he isn’t?

“Eat,” your grandma urges you again, this time pushing your spoon towards your bowl.

You nod slowly, then drag a spoonful of chicken adobo into your mouth. You wipe your teary eyes, and reflect on how even when everything else in the world feels grey, her cooking manages to taste like home.

***

You’re mopping the sweat-soaked floor of the Muay Thai studio below your apartment when the owner and your teacher looks up from his desk in the back room. “Have you ever heard of UA?” 

“No.” You pause and lean against the mop, exhausted muscles twitching from your training, and now the clean up. “What’s that?”

“A hero school in Japan. It’s All Might’s alma mater.”

“The hero?” 

“Come here,” he beckons you with a wave of his hand, and you do as he says, leaning the mop against a wall and picking your way across the studio, barefoot. 

He shows you clips of All Might, the hero who came from nowhere, the hero who always smiles, and he tells you that he’s a real hero, someone to really look up to. You identify with All Might more than you have anyone else before, and when your teacher sends you upstairs for the night, you can’t help but feel like he’s trying to tell you something. 

That same night, you wait for your grandmother to fall asleep, then sneak back out into the living room and pull open her laptop. It takes a couple minutes to load, and then you spend the rest of the night soaking in every length of video featuring All Might in existence.

A hero who helps people. A hero who smiles. A hero from nothing. 

You forget all about your dad, and the yellow bruise taking shape on your cheek.

You think of UA, and you recognise that your decision was made for you the moment your teacher asked you if you’d ever heard of it. 

All Might grins and the sparkle in his smile becomes the star you shoot for.

***

Two years later, you get hit hard. Your vision swims and blurs. You feel yourself hit the ground, and your strength is pulled from your grasp in the same moment the impact forces the air to rush from your lungs. 

The gritty concrete scrapes your palms as you struggle to push your body up. The crowd roars. You feel goopy liquid drip from your mouth, and you wipe it with your forearm only to realize it’s blood. You ball it with saliva in your mouth, then spit it out. You look up and your vision clears just enough to see your opponent, standing at the end of a dark tunnel, and behind her, white glory.

You never got a response to your application from UA, but it did nothing more than make you stumble because you’re going to show them all what you’re worth, and if your parents are out there, then you’re going to show them too, and they’ll regret ever doubting your greatness, and UA will regret passing you over, because You Are Here. 

State, regionals and nationals -- you’ll do what it takes to get that phone call -- and she, the girl standing over you with a vortex of a quirk, is the last match you have to win until you claim the underdog title that is yours. 

Still stooped over, you keep your eyes trained on your opponent and you know in your heart, in your soul, in your bones, that you’re going to beat her. You swear you’ll beat her. 

You’re going to prove to them your worth. You’re going to follow All Might until you surpass him, and then everyone will be looking at you, your mother and father included, and they’ll have no choice but to recognise how great you are. How despite them, you have become the greatest hero in the world. 

You’re going to beat her. 

You stand, and your head is buzzing. Your balance is dangerously off, but all you can see is that girl, and she is the only thing standing between you and victory. You take a moment to prepare yourself, body tensing, strained muscles bunching and charging, and then you feel the crackle of energy that zips through the air and you blink out of existence, and then flicker back again right behind her, body twisting through the air with the force of which you throw yourself into the attack. 

Your shin connects with the side of her head with a thunderous crack. You don’t feel the pain, but she sure does, and as you watch her crumple, you feel nothing but blood-pumping victory.

***

It’s the second day of class 2-A’s second year at UA, and everyone is buzzing with excitement. Already caught up with each other and thrown headfirst into schoolwork, the buzz is focused around the new exchange student that will be arriving today, a champion from America.

“That’s her!” Mina says excitedly from across the classroom. She has her phone out and is showing Shoji the clip everyone’s grown familiar with, the one where the exchange student takes first place in whatever national competition she was in. 

Bakugou chews on his cheek thoughtfully, relishing the idea competition, but unwelcome of the hubbub surrounding you, the student who came from nowhere, the student who took home first place in some competition he’s never heard about, the student who’s transfering to class 2-A, the top hero class in Japan, from some dumb unnamed highschool in some dumb city he doesn’t give two shits about.  

Everyone had searched your name on the internet as soon as they heard they were getting a transfer, and a couple of them found news articles and clips of your victory, of your half-told origin story. It was researching the competition that drove Bakugou to pour over every clip, but he’d be lying if he said it wasn’t at least a little entertaining to watch your wild fights.

The clip Mina is playing is getting to the part where in a sudden burst of ferocious violence, you leap to life and take down your last opponent with one final push: You use your warp quirk to appear behind your opponent and deliver a swift kick to her head, with a deadly twist of your torso, the follow-through torque brutal -- and then --

“(L/N) wins!” The announcer shouts, and Bakugou is familiar with the way the camera zooms in on your heaving form, with the way you turn to the crowd, visibly shaking, hands clenched at your side, and then you throw both fists in the air, suck in an elated breath, then bring your elbows down like you’re flexing, and let out this pure, victorious, elated shout that stirs something primal in his chest. 

You look terrifying in the clip, this ball of pride and rage; You look victorious, you look like no one else, sweat and blood on your face and bare arms, this monstrous gleam in your eyes. Afterwards, you turn towards the shaky camera approaching you, point, and announce in choppy japanese, “I am transferring to UA next semester.” Your voice is hoarse and strained, but still manages to rumble like thunder.

The paramedics rush toward you and your opponent, and then finally -- finally, you stagger, and collapse into the one approaching you. 

The clip ends and Mina excitedly gauges Shoji for his reaction, and Bakugou rolls his eyes, then glares straight ahead at the blackboard.

When Aizawa enters the class followed closely by the transfer student, he struggles to remain only half-interested. Out of the corner of his eye, he scrutinises you, and is confused when he learns that you look decidedly normal and not murderous, though still foreign, and out of place in a school uniform.

His eyes narrow as you follow Aizawa up to the podium, and the scream you’d let out after your victory sticks to the inside of his ears, contrasting with the reality of who you are. Your expression is… blank, maybe a little upset. You look nervous, but approachable, and are making the effort of meeting various students' eyes. Bakugou openly stares when you force a smile.

Aizawa says good morning, he says that you’re the exchange-student they’ve heard about, and then tells you to introduce yourself, and you do -- your voice like any other student’s, not at all like thunder, and maybe your japanese is a little accented, but it’s passable, if a little stiff, but when you say your name, it sounds decidedly American. 

“Does anyone have any questions they’d like to ask (L/N)?” 

There’s a volley of questions, mostly from the girls, and then a few from Kirishima and Kaminari. Bakugou doesn’t listen to any of it because the first one was about your favourite food, and then Aizawa addresses the class again.

“Thank you. (L/N), you may take your seat; in front of Yaoyorozu, in the back.”

Yaoyorozu raises your hand and you make your way through the rows to the back. When you pass Bakugou’s desk, your eyes fall to his, and his interest is piqued when he finds some of that ferocious energy from the video clips still in them, like you’re daring him to rise to your challenge.

His face drops to a scowl at the idea, and as you pass, he follows your movements with a glare. You take your seat between Deku and Yaororozu, two rows behind him, and he decides that you’re competition, and he wants to do nothing more than mop the floor with you.

Masterlist | Posting Schedule

[enigma-im]

Kindle Unlimited Recommendation

Dark Planet Warriors Series

Warning: Gore, violence, some situation of wrongful touching

Summary:

8 stories. The series begins with a bug infestation on the mining station outside of earth. A species called Kordolians are there to be the exterminators. After a meeting with a strange human our primary story kicks off while the bug story plays in background in some stories while being the main focus for several books. The consistent story for the other 8 books is a romance between the aliens and humans that results in a war for purity.

Person thoughts:

Great fuckin series. Almost every book has a different couple with only the very first couple being the focus several other times. First book is fantastic, especially the first sex scene. Its so good. The next few focus on the bug infestation till its dealt with then it gets back to the war. Don't skip them though, Riker is a treat that deserves to be acknowledged. My favorite one of this amazing series is Infinity's Embrace. That book has some dope characters. Electric Heart is my least favorite because it's like a real bad Watch Dogs (video game).

Rating: 9/10

Books:

Dark Planet Warriors

Dark planet Falling

Into the Light

Out of Darkness

Forged in Shadow

Infinity's Embrace

Electric Heart

Brilliant Starlight

Office Alien Series

Warning: Awkwardness, drug use, kidnapping (kind of)

Summary:

Three books about an office relationship with three different aliens. Each alien goes through the venture of courting a human woman. All of them succeed on confusing then educating these people on their culture. All the aliens come from the same planet that has been ravaged by a tough alien species that try to wipe them out with their superior technology. That isn't a plot point, its just an explanation. Each story shows the struggles of cultural differences and how education and understanding can help make the world a better place.

Person thoughts:

I adore this series. One book in this series actually got a perfect score from me, which is strange cause I'm a tough grader. The first book has a super awkward lad who just seems to hate everyone. Its really cute and I like them both though their relationship is filled with cringe. The second book I didn't much care for. The main love dude was kind of an idiot and was too blinded by acceptance to be a reasonable thinking alien. Still decent but Its not my cup of tea. The last one- sweet jesus- was amazing. It has a ‘my cousin Vinny’ vibe with their relationship where they fight often but its like their form of foreplay. So good. There is another series that’s super short that takes place 1 year later for each story. Totally worth a read after you read the series.

Rating: 8/10

Books:

The E.T. Guy

The New Guy

The Security Guy

(Christmas special)

Kraving Khiva

Warning: Sex workers, forced prostitution, abuse

Summary:

Eve is a virgin who is fed up with it. After her father's death she has been ghosting by in life with her best friend. After said friend points out a brothel of some interesting aliens she decides to give the place a try to finally rid herself of her virginity. After just one night she keeps coming back, falling for the sex worker. Romance ensues with lots of strife and abuse to keep the two from their HEA.

Personal Thoughts:

Man, this story represents everything I love in a story. Tons of fluff. It was a really good slow burn that I didn’t expect from a story about a prostitute. The cover gives the illusion of a typical middle aged mother romance - which I guess it is- but it has so much more. I only had one problem with the story, the ending. I felt they could have given more information but they just glossed over it. Besides that, hot book. The second one is really boring, just a slice of life that I couldn't get into.

Rating: 9/10

Books:

Kraving Khiva

Prince of Firestone

The Queen's Ransom

Warning: Near death situations, a lot of near death situations, gore

Summary:

432 pages. Long book. Jalia enters into a competition to win a great prize. The interest of great fortune is too much for her to pass up. Little does she know the treachery the competition hides or the actual prize. The king of Minotaurs is hosting an event to test the strength, endurance, and intelligence of potential wives. In a culture that values strength they refuse to accept a queen who hasn't been tried. Genius Jalia goes through challenge after challenge, nearly dying about every chapter while catching the attention of a charming king.

Personal Thoughts:

I generally don't have the patience for long books but this one never dragged on. Every chapter was captivating and riveting. The challenges were interesting and Jalia's solutions were pretty genius. The relationship between the king and her is pretty grand, I adore them greatly. My only problem with the book is all the potty humor and insults. She was a genius but her insults left much to be desired. Once her biggest annoyance is no longer in the picture does that kind of stuff end.

Rating: 9/10

Book:

The Queen's Ransom

The Kraken

Warning: Gore, racism, attempts of suicide(only 1 book), sassy AI

Summary:

A mysterious creature has lived in the ocean long ago, since the beginning of the settlement on this planet. After a nearly drowning woman is saved a series kicks off. Each book has a different relationship of humans and Krakens. Every book tells the story of how the krakens go from living in isolation at the bottom of the ocean to breeding with humans.

Personal thoughts:

When I first read this story I was just getting into monster romance. The love interests have fairly human tops but hella tentacle bottoms. So I was a little off-put by it but as I read on I didn’t care. The first one is pretty good for a start. The second one was decent, I didn’t really care for it. I actually skipped the 3rd one my first go around. Which is fine, it doesn't add too much and its short. Its still worth a read. The 4th one, fucking grand. 5th one? My all time favorite of the series! If you don't want to read them all at least read the 5th one. Like ask me for story details and I'll give you a cliff note for what's mentioned in that story then you can read in peace. 6th was ok, love the sassy AI. I didn't read the 7th one. Its two old people and I just can't

Rating: 8/10

Books:

Treasure Abyss

Jewel of the Sea

Hunter of the Tide

Heart of the Deep

Rising from the Depth

Fallen from the Stars

Lover from the Waves

Escaping Wonderland

Warning: Sexual assault, gore, lots of sexual stuff

Summary:

Alice is wrongfully placed in a psych ward that specializes in simulation therapy. She is placed in a pod then taken to the world of wonderland. This twisted version of the children's classic introduces a rapey mad hater and manipulative Red King. The main love interest is a playful lad who has more control of the simulation than most. The two run from the clutches of the Red King while trying to escape the simulation.

Personal thoughts:

I had very low hopes for this story. I didn't expect it to be as good as it was. It was a twist on the beloved movie and book. Everything was rapey and creepy and I weirdly loved it. Of course nothing too terrible happened to the main lady so it made those situations more tolerable but only just. I adore the main dude, shadow. He was a playful little mischief maker and I would die for him. What made this book better for me was when everything hit the fan they didn't rid him of his sassy personality. Most books make the cocky, silly, playful personality as something that is bad and needs to change. This one they didn’t and kept it. So good.

Rating: 9/10

Books:

Escaping Wonderland

Infinity City

Warning: Abuse, gore, sexual assault, dope ass fighting

Summary:

A city where criminals are more in control than most people think. Each book takes the reader through different adventure of different people. All having the similarity of protecting the ones they love. The first is of an assassin protecting the only woman who has made him feel so strongly. The second is with a mob boss hacker who grows fond of a shy human. The third is the second in command of the mob boss hacker who finds a pregnant woman in a menagerie and discovers she is his mate. Fourth is one of the workers of the mob boss's security team who gets taken by some slavers along with a woman he was entertaining for the night.

Personal thoughts:

First book sucked. He was obsessives and pretty much took all her choices. It wasn't till the end that he was like "my bad, you can leave if you want". Bleh. Second book was fan-fucking-tastic. Arc is a charming idiot with an amazing backstory. I didn't like the girl in the beginning but she grew on me. I love that he focuses on her but still pays attention to work and his 'family'. The third was surprisingly good. I generally don't like stories where someone is pregnant because they get boring. This one was not that. She was never a hindrance or weak, she was a badass. With her big kitty man they made an amazing duo. Also any scenes with her man and the baby made me tear up. He was so sweet. Fourth was boring, it reminds me too much of a lot of other stories.

Rating: 8/10

Books:

Silent lucidity

Shielded hearts

Untamed Hunger

Savage Desire

------------------------------------------

While people watch TV or Youtube in their free time, I read. I have such a weird organization with everything i read because i tend to reread stories and forget i read them. the entire time i read it im like “have i read this before?”. so for books i write them down, rate them, then review them. i didn’t post the reviews here because it would be so many spoilers. Also i sort my favorite fanfics by fandom then relationship. i read so fucking much, its a problem at this point.

If you liked this recommendation drop a like, reblog, or reply. i will perhaps do another if you all like this. i have read so many books and i can post some decent ones and some god awful ones. perhaps you all can tell me how wrong my thoughts are on the ones i deem terrible. i think we will probably agree, ‘free’ books tend to have lower standards.

[mistbornthefinal]

Madoka Magica Aniversary Analysis: Part 6

Do Not Throw Souls!

We pick up where we left off last episode. Kyouko goes for the kill on Sayaka and Homura moved to action by Madoka’s distress moves to interrupt the fight. Kyouko is confused by this turn of events and tries to hold Homura at spearpoint. Tries being the operative term there. Kyouko identifies Homura as the rumored irregular. Sayaka tries to continue the fight but Homura makes short work of her.

*timestops behind you* nothing personal kid

Kyouko’s fence thing dissolves and Madoka quickly rushes to her stricken friend who Kyubey assures us is merely unconscious. Kyouko as Homura who’s side is she on to which she replies.

“I’m an ally to those who maintain their composures and an enemy to idiotic aggressors. Which are you, Sakura Kyouko.”

The two meguca still standing have a staredown after which Kyouko elects to back off. Homura then chastises Madoka fairly harshly for still being involved. As Homura walks away Kyubey ponders “Akemi homura could you be...” (cue Connect.)

After the credits we’re at the Miki household watching Sayaka cleanse her gem. Kyubey informs here the now full grief seed is dangerous but he’ll take it off her hands cutely catching it on his head before tossing it into a hatch on his back. According to Kyubey if Sayaka is to have any hope standing up to Kyouko she’ll need a bunch more of those. The more magic you use the more you soul gem is tainted, thus if you have surplus Grief Seeds you can use magic more recklessly. 

Sayaka notes that Mami also never had enough Grief Seeds yet she seemed to be able to fight just fine. Mami had the benefit of talent and expertise says Kyubey as does Kyouko. Of course if Sayaka wants to even the odds there’s always Madoka and her vast potential. Surely if Sayaka were to ask her..? Sayaka rejects that answer this is her fight.

Elsewhere Kyouko is tearing it up at the DDR (Dog Drug Reinforcement) machine. Homura has a proposition for her, she’ll leave the city to her so long as Kyouko let’s her solve the Sayaka problem. Kyouko is down for that but she want’s to know what’s in it for Homura.

There’s a bigger threat on the horizon and Homura needs allies to fight it. Once Walpurgisnact is defeated Homura will leave Kyouko to handle Mitakihara’s affairs. Kyouko seems bullish about the two of them being able to handle the legendary Witch and offers to seal their pact with some Pocky (or rather Rocky).

The next day Sayaka and Madoka have returned to the scene of the crime. Unfortunately the Familiar’s trail has gone cold. Madoka wants to try talking it out should the run into Kyouko again but Sayaka reminds her that the two of them were seriously trying to kill each other yesterday, that bridge is burned. Attempted murder aside Sayaka can’t forgive Kyouko’s indifference to human life. She can’t forgive Homura either.

Sayaka was not privy to Mami and Homura’s confronation in EP 3 and Madoka has apparently neglected to tell her. So Sayaka belives that Homura intentionally let Mami die to eliminate the competition. Madoka tries to correct the record but it’s too late for that. 

Sayaka then rather viscously lays into Madoka asking her if she could so easily forgive Kyouko if the Familiar that Kyouko let live out of greed and callousness were to kill one of her family members. As far as Sayaka is concerned any Puella Magi that fails to live up to the image Mami projected is her enemy. Not the wisest course when both the other girls were each able to own her fairly handily.

Madoka asks for Kyubey to bring Sayaka back to reason where she has failed but again the bunnycat claims incapacity. 

That night Madoka is unable to sleep her worries keeping her from rest. She seeks counsel from her mom. Her friend is in a tough situation despite we she is doing not being wrong, rather her attempts to do right seem to make the situation worse. 

Her mom says that unfortunately that’s they way of the world. It sucks but virtue is not always rewarded. Her mom suggest that she instead do the wrong thing for her friend. It might not be the cleanest solution but this is the time in their lives were they can afford to make mistakes. When you’re young it’s easier to pick yourselves back up if you fall. It’s harder when you’re an adult, that’s why adults are allowed to drink.

OK so maybe Junko isn’t the best role model.

 Not the worst advice for you teenage daughter for ordinary problems, but of course Madoka neglects to mention the part where lives are on the line. So it’s hard to blame Junko for how Madoka acts on that advice.

The next day Sayaka rushes to Kyousuke’s hospital room only to find it empty. He’s been discharged already and seems to have neglected to tell her. So Sayaka goes to his house but lingers outside hesitating to ring the bell, and here we see clearly why Sayaka’s wish “failed”. 

As much as Sayaka wanted to see Kyousuke healed for his own sake, she also wanted a relationship with him. That’s all well and good but Kyousuke’s injury was never the thing stopping that from happening, it’s that Sayaka did not have the courage of her convictions to confess. Neither healing Kyouske’s hand nor becoming a magical girl changed that. 

Of course Kyouko is there for her in her hour of need with some free advice. Using magic to help others is a suckers game, what she should do instead is go in there with her shiny new magic and break his arms and legs so he’ll be helpless without her. Kyouko even offers to do it for her as a favor to a fellow magical girl. Needless to say Sayaka isn’t having any of it.

The two of them agree to take their incipient battle elsewhere.

Back at Madoka’s hose our heroine is still mulling over her mothers advice when bunnycat informs her of the immanent duel to the death. Given the travel time involved I’d have to assume this is before Kyouko and Sayaka have their confrontation. So I guess he decided to fetch an innocent bystander rather than tell Sayaka the girl who tried to kill her two days ago was still on her tail. Say it with me everyone bunnycat is a dick.

At the pedestrian bridge that our Megucas have for some reason decided is an inconspicuous place to fight Kyouko shows off her rad transformation sequence. Sayaka is about to do the same when Madoka arrives on the scene. Homura isn’t far behind her as always and she reminds Kyouko of their agreement. This doesn’t actually defuse the conflict. Sayaka is just as willing to fight Homura despite all signs pointing to that being an even lower percentage play. 

So Madoka grabs Sayaka’s Soul Gem and yeets it right off the bridge.

It falls onto a passing truck and despite her visible surprise Homura is after it in an instant. Sayaka asks “what the hell” and then

she collapses like a puppet whose string were cut. Perplexed Kyubey asks why Madoka just threw away her friend. Kyouko rushes over and grabs Sayaka’s body by the neck, and pronounces her dead.

Kyubey explains. After the contract is made the Soul Gem is the “real” magical girl, the girl’s literal soul ripped from their body and bound into a gem. The body is just a puppet a shell animated by magic and if the Soul Gem is more than 100 meters away the link breaks and the body is just a corpse. 

Needless to say neither Madoka nor Kyouko are happy about this revelation. Kyubey claims that it’s to their benefit that they are altered in this way so long as the Soul Gem is intact the body can recover from any injury. Of course it’s hard to imagine he has their best interests at heart given he failed to mention any of this beforehand. The girls are not convinced by the supposed benefits of this arrangement.

Kyubey claims not to understand why this upsets people pegging it to the irrational nature of humanity. Of course once again he knows that this upsets people and then doesn’t tell the before or after they contract. Bunnycat is a dick.

While Kyubey is expositing Homura uses her time powers to catch up to the truck a retrieve Sayaka’s gem. It’s only when she returns her to her bodies hand that she reactivates. Confused at everyone's distress she asks what’s wrong. (cue Magia)

So that was EP 6 it gives us the second of our big shocking revelations. Though the fandom sometimes claims the girls overreact to it I’d say that their reactions are totally appropriate given the context of their friend/frenemy suddenly becoming an empty husk.

This is also the first time we really get to see how alien and amoral Kyubey really is. He claims no understanding of why getting your Soul ripped out might upset someone and understanding that this part of the contract upsets people his solution is to just never mention it. It’s now clear the he’s a malevolent force if it wasn’t already. 

This is also interestingly enough the episode where no Witches or Familiars make an appearance. 

[knives-out20]

What’s Your Name Again? - Bobby & The Buddies AU

Fandom: Once Upon A Time In Hollywood (2019)

Pairings: Bobby Brightside (OC) x Cliff Booth, Penelope ‘Peep’ Sweeney (OC) x Joseph ‘Soup’ Sansbury (OC), DeepSpace

Warnings: OC x OC business, Soulmates AU, In the 70′s,

Prompt: (Soulmate) AU where you have your soulmates name somewhere on your body

Notes: Prompt taken from @ausforsoulmates​ 

Peep cracked her knuckles, causing Frankie to wince. She sucked her teeth, forgetting he was the type to become antsy and uncomfortable with the sound. “Sorry, man.”

“N-No worries” Frankie shook his head. 

Peep looked at the back of her left hand, the name ‘Joseph Sansbury’ clear as day. It sat above her purple-bandanna’d-wrist, tattooed on her skin since...well, forever. Of all body parts, why her hand?

Joseph Sansbury.

The name rang a bell, but Peep found it obvious because she’s seen that name her whole life, on her wrist. Why else would it sound so familiar?

Peep brushed the argument off for the hundredth time, adjusting the suspenders on her dark suspender dress. She, like now, usually wore it over a grey off-shoulder top. “Where’s Soup?” Peep inquired, looking around the room.

“At the Sansbury household, I’d assume” Deep grinned.

“‘Sansbury’“ Peep mumbled, glancing at her hand. ‘Sansbury’ ought to be a basic white surname, she never took it into consideration that Soup was the Sansbury she was looking for. 

Then again...what was Soup’s first name, again?

Peep groaned, wishing finding her soulmate could be easier. It can’t be Soup, can it? Soup? Soup?! Of all people? If so, why couldn’t her hand read ‘Soup Sansbury’ instead, to make it easier for her? It can’t be Soup, it can’t be him that’s her soulmate.

Soulmates with nicknames....Peep knew her brother Deep had no trouble with that. She thought back to how Deep intertwined with his soulmate, officially.

Deep was getting ready to call it a night, but a knock at his front door cut that task short. He glanced over at his stairs suspiciously, grabbing a .22 pistol off his bedside table and slowly making his way down the dimmed hall. 

Deep crept down the stairs and pressed his back against the wall, inching closer and closer to his front door. He took deep, quiet breaths to clam himself down, making sure his weapon was loaded; good news, it was.

Now as close to the door as he could muster himself up to be, Deep raised his gun up to use. As quick as he could, he unlocked the front door and opened it, pointing the pistol at his late guest’s face.

Ace Frehley jumped back in surprise, eyes crossing a bit when they landed on the gun that was really close to his face. “Hey, woah-!” He called, putting his hands up. “It’s me, man.”

Deep, frankly rattled, gathered himself to process the situation. He gulped, letting his arms hang at his sides. “Jesus Christ, Ace-- what’re you doin’ here?” Deep asked, rubbing the bridge of his long nose.

“I, uh, came here from the hotel we’re stayin’ at. Kinda dingy, but the best our manager could afford us. But dude, no way in hell am I spendin’ another night roomin’ with Peter. Snores to high hell like-” Ace dramatically imitated loud snores, Deep questioning if Ace was truly exaggerating or not.

Deep laughed anyway.

“You think his voice is deep? Snores like a demon, man. I can’t even try to fall asleep with that in my ears” Ace complained.

Deep balled his right hand, clearing his throat. “Uh- come in! Come in, man” He stepped aside, allowing Deep into his humble abode. 

Ace whistled as he looked around. “Nice place y’got here.”

“Yea, Missy thinks the same” Deep joked.

Ace chuckled, looking up at the wall. “Woah, an autographed Keith Richard?”

Deep closed and locked his front door, following Ace’s line of view to the framed photo of Keith Richard on his wall, that he was able to have Keith sign. “Oh, yea. Huge guitar inspiration to me” he answered, as Ace carefully sat down on one of his couches. “But...I’d say he has competition” Deep smirked at Ace, who waved a hand dismissively.

“You jest” Ace laughed.

“Oh, but truthfully, I do not” Deep shook his head, wandering across the room. “But, uh, anyways- I’ll...go put this gun away” he smiled sheepishly, nodding and running upstairs. 

Deep put his pistol back in its rightful spot, racing back downstairs. “All gone” he put his fists up in the air, closed tight enough to obviously not be hiding any weapons under. Deep dropped them, inhaling slowly. “Uh, if you’re plannin’ on staying with me tonight- or however long- I got a guest bedroom upstairs. Unless you and my couch have already become deeply...closely...intimately involved” he winked playfully.

“Oh, I could never. It’s not my type” Ace whispered, as if the couch was sentient and able to hear. He looked Deep up and down, from his bare torso, the dandelion bandannas on his wrists, his plaid pajama pants, and dark socks. “I thought the bandannas came off after the shows” Ace commented.

Deep looked down at them. “Oh, yea, most definitely. They usually do, but sometimes I keep ‘em on until I go to bed. I dunno, I kinda like how they feel-? It’s kinda like a sensory thing but not really, because Benji has an actual sensory thing. He likes certain materials, doesn’t like others, like certain food feels, dislikes others, stuff like that. Comes in handy to remember when buyin’ him clothes ‘n’ snacks.”

Ace nodded thoughtfully. “How long he been tickin’ for?”

“Forever, I think.”

Ace hummed, tilting his head. “Nice ink.”

Deep looked down at himself, now painfully aware the only things covering the upper half of his body were the bandannas on his wrists. “Thanks” he smiled, looking at the ‘D’ in the Hollywood-sign-font on his right upper arm. “This one, it’s a Buddies thing. Bobby has a ‘B’ on the left side of his chest, Beep has a ‘B’ somewhere, Maria ‘n’ Monte have a ‘M’ on each of their persons, Damien also has a ‘D’ somewhere, Frankie has an ‘F’ somewhere, and Penelope has a ‘P’ on her somewhere. All of ‘em are black, and the same font as the Hollywood font” he told.

“All I got is the ‘Ace’ on my arm.”

“Yea, you got that nickname back in high school, didn’t you? You told me so.”

“Yea, I did” Ace smiled, sort of happy that Deep remembered. “My friends came up with it ‘cause I was an ace at gettin’ dates. How were you, back in high school?”

“Ah, I dunno. I met Jenny in high school.” Deep sniffled, a certain look glaing over his blue eyes. “So yea, I got date, after date, after date, after date, but with one date....person. Date-person” he shrugged, then tearing his gaze to the devil tattoo on his left forearm. An O with devil horns and a devil tail attached to it, a pitchfork beside it.

“That supposed to be a lil’ devil of some sort?”

“Yea.”

“Anything behind that?”

Deep chuckled. “I’m notorious in the Buddies for being the one to push Bobby into doing all the stunts he-then-we do, if he doesn’t commence them himself. So I’m kinda like a daredevil, then cut that down to ‘devil’ and...yea. I’m a Devil like how you’re an Ace. Though, we all know I’m mostly known as Deep, so-” he snickered, running a hand through his black hair. Deep glanced at the name on his hand, balling it into a fist to hide it.

“Somethin’ wrong with your hand?”

“Ah, nah, it’s just some name. Y’know the name thing.”

“Yea, whose yours?”

Deep’s breath hitched in his throat. “Like I’d tell you that. I won’t even tell them that.”

“Oh, c’mon. I’ll show you mine if you show me yours!”

“You have to understand how weird that sounds with me being half-naked!” Deep chortled.

Ace cackled, clapping his hands. “Yea, you’re right, you’re right. Still, who is it?”

“Can’t say. Can’t tell anyone, not even them. It’s so...y’know?”

“Kinda-?”

Deep unfurled his fist, reading ‘Paul Frehley’ clear as day.

Ace looked at the name near his left palm, deciding that it couldn’t go that bad, right? “Wanna know who I have?”

“I dunno.”

“What I will tell you, with that ‘I dunno’, is I’m glad their nickname isn’t their real name. That’s real shitty on their parent’s part, if it were.”

“‘Nickname’?” Deep thought, eyes darting around the floor in thought. He looked over at Ace, eyebrows furrowed. “Can’t really say the same for me. I mean- their name is cool, I like their name. I mean that, their nickname...could make a nice, actual name.”

Ace nervously licked his lips. “Derek?”

“Yes, Ace?”

“Your last name is Sweeney, isn’t it?”

Derek felt his face break out into a wide, excited smile. “Only if your first name is Paul, Frehley.”

Peep leaned back in her seat. “Where’s Bobby?” She asked, getting up and leaving the room before she could get a proper answer. “Bobby!” Peep called, finding him in the first room she walked into.

Bobby turned around, loving smile vanishing when his gaze went from Cliff to Peep.

Cliff leaned against the counter in front of him, his grin of adoration doing the same.

“Hmm?”

Peep sighed. “What, uh, what’s Soup’s first name?”

Bobby furrowed his eyebrows, as did Cliff behind those sunglasses he always, always wore. “Joseph. Why?”

Peep’s eyes went wide. Her jaw dropped open, gaze flickering between Bobby, and the name on the back of her hand.

Sansbury. Soup. Joseph. Joseph Sansbury. 

This is it, this was him, this had to be him.

“Peep-?” Bobby cleared his throat.

“I- I gotta go” Peep stuttered, racing out of the room. She quickly bade the Buddies goodbye, out of Bobby’s house at the speed of light. Using all the speed she could muster in her strappy sandals, she ran down the sidewalk to the address she frequented to (being that Peep usually babysits Soup’s roommates kid). 

Peep stopped in front of Soup’s place, panting as she looked up at it. She adjusted her dress’ suspenders, picking at her stockings and fixing her wavy hair in order to appear presentable. Peep thanked whatever higher power that existed for letting Soup live fairly close to Bobby, because any farther and she might’ve dropped dead.

It was tough, is what she’s saying.

Peep walked up the pathway to Soup’s front door, the stray cats lingering around and not really in any frightened stance due to the fact that they all knew her, and were familiar with her. “Hey, MJ.”

MJ opened an eye, taking a nap on Soup’s front porch. “Hey” he greeted, falling back asleep straight afterwards.

Peep giggled in a breathy way, knocking the front door after checking her reflection in the mirror- her red lipstick wasn’t messed up, good.

After not waiting for too long, Soup opened the door. He looked around, then down. “Oh, hey, Peep.”

“Hey, Soup” Peep smiled up at him.

Soup looked a bit confused. “Annabelle said your here tomorrow, why’re you- what’s up?” He asked.

Peep tilted her head up, poking the inside of her cheek with her tongue. “Perhaps I have some news for you.”

“Perhaps?” Soup sounded intrigued.

“Perhaps.”

“What is it?”

“Soup Sansbury, what’s your name again?”

Soup opened his mouth, but didn’t talk. “Huh?”

“What’s your name again? Your real name, ‘cause I know- or at least pray- that your mom didn’t carry you for nine months, go through hours of pain to hold you, and then be able to hold ya just to call you Soup. So c’mon, what’s your name again?”

“...Joseph.”

Peep, wordlessly, smiled up at Soup. Bright, and adorable, and her truest smile to date. “’Joseph’” she repeated.

Soup caught on, heart racing as he brushed a few fingers against the hidden base of his neck. “Peep Sweeney...What’s your name, again? ‘Cause I know your mom didn’t go though...all that,” he vaguely gestured his hand, “just to call you Peep. So, what’s your name again?”

“Penelope.”

Soup slowly grinned, starting to giggle aimlessly. He nodded in a knowing manner, eyebrows raising in a way that told Peep that he knew.

The smile Peep gave back to him indicated to him, very well at that, that she knew as well. She raised her hand, “Joseph Sansbury.”

Soup tugged down the collar of his shirt, revealing the base of his neck. “Penelope Sweeney.” He replied, barely able to contain his smile, even if he wanted to. And he didn’t want to.

Neither did Peep.

[mileycfan4eva33]

Fandom: SVU

Title:Epitaph Song

Chapter: 1 Down South

P O V: Amanda Rollins

Billy's Diner

Loganville, GA 2020

(A/N: Thank you as always for the readers who take the time to review, favorite or follow. As usual I own none of these SVU characters just my original characters. All others belong to NBC, Dick Wolf and Wold Ent. Jessie, Billie do not exist in this fic, I am still deciding if Noah dose or not. If you have a preference as to if you want Noah in it or not hit me up reviews motivate me.)

"Oh, Air Condition, thank God! It's hotter than a roasted pig on a skewer out there." Olivia Benson's laugh is light and airy as we enter the restaurant. "Oh, Amanda, I love your expressions, don't ever change. Seriously your southern drawl is so cute. Don't ever lose it."

"No worries, Olivia; it's been nearly ten years since I moved to New York. I haven't lost it yet." "Thanks again for coming down south with me. It means a lot."

"Your welcome Amanda, are you feeling any better since this weekend?" Shaking the soreness out of my weary bones I feel a yawn snaking up my jawlines as I try to fight it off to no avail, the yawn is relentless in its attempt to escape.

"A little thanks I am still tired and nausea I don't know why I slept all weekend, yet I still feel dizziness not as much as this weekend, but I am still weakened almost as if I am drained of all energy." Sliding into the booth, I lean back against the cool plastic backboard. "I'm sorry for calling out on you this weekend, Captain."

"Amanda, please, stop don't worry about it your health is too important don't apologize." "I am sorry, Liv, not just for this weekend, but now we're both away from NYC."

"Because your dad passed away, Amanda, we're not here on vacation. Kat and Fin understand, and Chief Garland sent two detectives to help out, SVU is covered. Please take some of this concern and apply it to yourself; you lost your dad. I know you haven't been close to him in years, but he is still your dad, give yourself the allowance to mourn, Amanda. Don't hide your emotions down and pretend that everything is perfectly fine."

"I don't think it's hit me yet, Olivia. I just don't feel anything." Olivia's hand slips over my hand as we lay them on the table, waiting on the waitress to come over to us. "It will Amanda, I don't know when sweetie, it may take weeks, days, months, but it will hit you. I just want you to know that I am here, honey, whenever you want to talk."

"Thank you, Liv; I appreciate this jester I know we haven't always been close, but I love the friendship that has been built over the last four years." "As do I Amanda. I love the trust that we've built within each other, the respect. Where is the waitress?"

"Liv, it's the south; we take our sweet time with everything, ain't no rushin' in the country life."

"You ever miss living down here, Peach?" "Honestly, Liv, there are parts I miss like my family, friends. I miss the comfort in knowing there is always someone here who will have your back. What I don't miss is everyone knowing everyone else business."

"Is that a true thing? Everyone else knows each other's business?"

As if God was given me a clue incomes Betsy Jane Rose "Oh, my bless my heart Amanda-Taylor Rollins, is that truly you?" I pick my head up, gritting my teeth as she comes flying inside the restaurant arms wild "Betsy Jane Mary-Sue it sure is, wow child it's been yonders since you've rolled back into these parts."

"Oh, I am so sorry about your daddy, such a shame bless your heart honey-bee."

"Oh well, how sweet of you, Ms. Betsy, so very kind of you thank you, how did you hear about my daddy's passing per se? We didn't put it in the Tribune or online."

"Oh, Sugar, you know how these things work, Lord, who needs that dingy old paper when we gave word of mouth. Has it been that long Darlin? Surely you remember the good old Betsy-Jane- Mary-Sue train."

"Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit. Oh Amanda, let me enlighten you wow New York City has slapped you silly, child. Anyways So Mary-Jo Higgins oh heavens I was born at night, but not last night! Duh, of course, you don't know who Mary-Jo Higgins is, well back in our days of youth she went by Mary-Jo Robins, so any who baby, Mary-Jo is now an RN."

"That's a Registered Nurse, by the way." "Yes, Ms. Rose, I know what an RN is."

"So yeah Mary-Jo works a that's Loganville Medical Center where your daddy was brought to by the Ambulance. So Mary-Jo was there when he passed bless his heart so Mary-Jo well you know good ol' Mary-Jo never could keep a secret so of course, she told her Mama who had to run down to the Salon to say to Ms. Sue who of course told the whole Salon."

Both of us laugh, "How did you find out, darlin?"

"Oh, you know this little thing called HIPPA they like to notify the Next of Kin, and since my parents you know divorced many moons ago, that would make me the eldest child his next of kin, since he hasn't gotten to remarry yet."

"Speaking of kin-folk dear, where is that sister of yours? She straighten her life out yet? Kimberly coming on her own?"

"No, Ma'am, I'm afraid she ain't gonna make it, you know the whole being in jail thing it kind of puts a cramp on a person's freedom. Thank you so much for coming over though, I sure don't want to keep you."

I don't give her a chance to answer quickly, sliding back into the booth turning to Olivia. Just as our waitress comes over. "good afternoon- honey pies, what can I get you ladies?" after we order, I lean back as Olivia starts to laugh, unable to hold in her amusement over Ms. Rose any longer. "So that's how news travels down south Captain." eagle eyeing Betsy across the room, I can already see she's on her cell phone. "Well, the whole damn town will know I am back soon enough." "that has to be frustrating, Amanda." "Oh, Liv, you ain't got a clue. Every day dealing with women like, is there any doubt about why I got out of here faster than a bat out of hell."

I stay silent about the other reason I left Georgia as soon as I was old enough my sexuality there's no room for differences here in the good old south. No way could I tell Olivia this though she has no idea I am a lesbian. "So, is your Mom coming?" "Lord, no Liv she's up in NY taking care of Mason, Mama said she was sorry the son of a bitch died, but she dumped his ass years ago, let his new hussy handle the affairs."

"My dear new sister, who I haven't even met yet. She's handling everything as per my dad's living will."

"Amanda, I am so sorry." "Don't be Olivia, I am fine." "Of course you are." I don't reply not because I don't have the response in me but because the doors burst open and a vast mass of people come pouring into the already packed diner.

"Amanda! It is true! You are back!" Tommy Jake Edwards "TJ" calls out "Yo Ms. Betsy Jane was right boys. Good Ol Rollins is back in town." there are rumblings from the entire group of men "Liv meet the former jocks of Loganville High School Pyro Red Devils who ruled LHS's halls from 1996-1999."

"Rollins, how can you sneak back into town and say nothing? Yo, Rollins, that is rude! I thought we were your boys!"

"Bump that T-rolls, I am pissed forget these clowns, I am your cousin! Uncle Jimmy is my kin-folk too. Where's my love?"

"Hey, Jensen, I just got back into town like literally ten minutes ago. I'm sorry it's been crazy these last few days. My head is still spinning. I haven't told anyone yet, sorry, truly."

Jensen's arms wrap around me tightly. "No worries, cuz. I got you. I am sorry I know you and your Pa wasn't close but damn it still sucks." "Thanks, Jensen, yeah, it does."

Coming out of his hug, I'm met by his brother Blake who I hug as tightly. "Yo boys will catch you later going to hang with family." the rest of the crew waves blowing me kisses as Liv, and I make room for these two. "Hi. I'm Olivia Benson, Amanda's boss, and friend."

"Oh honey-child we know who you are, we've heard all about you now haven't we Blake?" "Oh, yes, Yes, we have well let us introduce ourselves since Miss. Amanda has the manners of a pig. I am Blake Yankee; Jensen is my twin brother; our Mama is Amanda's dad sister."

"Were you three close growing up?" "Oh, tighter than chili papers, Mama, us, and our uncle TC's kids, our cousins Alonso and Scottie, are coming in tomorrow." "They called us the Rollin- Yankee-Terrors." Sipping my sweet tea, I groan, remembering all the names the seven of us use to get growing up. "don't tell her that she is my boss."

"Oh relax Junebug, it ain't like I told her about the time you put laxatives in Ernie Reynaldo's cornbread when you were ten and locked him in the outhouse for the whole day and told our teacher he ran away to the circus."

Olivia laughs so loudly. I feel my temperature rise in my face. "You what?" my face buries into the palms of my hands. "Yo, boy, that was nothing. Remember when we were twelve, and Kyle Kane told Manda she was uglier than a burnt barn, she took his pants and underwear while he was changing and threw it into the river."

Both boys bang on the table laughing, shoving each other as Olivia arched an eyebrow in my direction "Oh, yeah I do, she let the anger seethe inside all week till Saturday when the whole town was gathered for the annual fishing competition. When Kyle's dad was with the reporter for Atlanta news, Kyle comes walking bare-ass naked; the entire town saw him walking his little dude swinging in the breeze. Kyle was grounded for months. "

My embarrassment only increases as I lay my head down, groaning while all three laugh. "Oh, God, even as a kid, Amanda, you were a rule-breaker and a little shit-head." I feel Olivia's hand stroke mine laughing as she hangs her head down tears running down her face, which a lovely rose color.

I only pick my head up when the food arrives, feeling my whole body shiver and jolt as I lean back, smelling the greasy food. Reaching for the ketchup, I pop a fry in my mouth. I still can't shake this feeling of being drained or the tightness in my head.

"Oh My." another voice pops into my world as I see Mr. Jason Axson and Mrs. Janet Axson coming in with their two kids Christopher 17, Savannah 14. her voice cuts through the air. "How are you, Sugar?' "I am just peachy; thank you, just enjoying dinner with my family, here."

"Oh, of course, we don't mean to interrupt. You could use the food; obliviously, you are mighty thin sugar. Your daddy was right; they are working your tail to its bone up there in that big city unless you are sick again, darling."

"No Ma'am, I am right as a peach as I said, but I am trying to enjoy my dinner." "Yeah, Janet let these nice folks eat; worry about our own family; I do apologize, Miss. Amanda lovely to see you again, we shall pop in at another time."

Olivia's eyes stare right into mine. I know she's wondering about the "Are you sick again" line my face flushes as I look down, avoiding her eyes and the question. Another part of my past she has no idea about, My stomach rolls as I think about all the secrets and pressures I have on top of me, none of which Olivia needs to add to her plate.

"I need to use the bathroom, I'll be back, excuse me." getting up I start to head there, of course, a two-minute walk becomes ten as I am stopped by multiple people offering their condolences. My back hits the wall just as another wave of dizziness hits me; I do everything inside of me not to show it to anyone, I can see Olivia's eyes on me from across the room. Yet it isn't Olivia who catches my attention, rare I know.

This time, Savannah's voice so young, scared, and nervous. I am standing right next to their table as I hear Savannah say. "Mama, Daddy, I have something to tell you." Savannah's beautiful emerald eyes glisten as she stares at her parents. "I am a Lesbian, and I plan to come out this weekend at the prom."

Savannah's courage freezes me. I am forty and don't have the courage she has at fourteen-years-old. I can't think fast enough to react before her mom is out of her chair, smacking Savannah across her face. "You are not gay! Stop your lying, you fifthly whore! Who put these lies in your head? You are a good girl, a good baptist girl. Take it back!"

"No Mama, I can't I won't because I am gay, and yes I am a good girl, I am a baptist and MVP for the last two years in all the southern regions. I will play at college, and I will go pro, and my sexuality won't stop me from doing any of that."

"Fool, of course, it will, but you won't have to because you are not gay!"

"Mama, I am please just listen to me. Stop being such a bitch."

Her dad jumps up, grabbing at Savannah as I react, finally racing towards Savannah as Jason starts yelling. "Don't talk to your mother that way! Ever! No daughter of mine will be a sinner! I could deal with you being pregnant, not this! This is unforgivable. You either get over this phrase you little slut or you are OUT OF THIS FAMILY! Let's go now, Christopher, Janet leave her."

I hurry towards Savannah, who is trying with her whole body to remain strong as her family walks out. I know her face is stinging from the assault, but it's nothing like the pain in her soul. The rest of the restaurant sits there, not offering to help just turning to their families. My hands connect to Savannah's as I help her sit down "Sweetie, I am so sorry that your parents reacted to you."

"It's okay, ma'am, I excepted this. It was so so stupid-crazy to even except for any different outcome."

"No honey, it isn't it's not crazy or stupid to except unconditional love from your family; that's what parents are supposed to do. Of course, you wanted to tell them living in secrets, hiding who you are, it's exhausting. The if only or what-ifs or the I should have's, they take their tolls."

"It's 2020, not 1990 times have changed; maybe the south should catch up." My hands rub Savannah's back softly. "I'm from here honey, so I get it baby-girl I know how scary accepting your sexuality is, I know how painful it is to hold this all inside, to feel as if you ain't normal simply because you don't feel fireworks when the popular jocks kiss you."

"I knew that when I was thirteen, I felt it already I was great to hang out with boys all day when it came to playing ball, or telling dirty jokes or pulling pranks, but when it came to who I was attracted to sexually or emotionally, guys they just didn't do it for me. I could feel myself gravitating toward girls in ways that I didn't with boys."

"Don't let your sexual identity label you or define you—whether it be as lesbian, bisexual, asexual, or another term—how you choose to label yourself is not based on a checklist. You can still be everything you just told your parents; you can play any instrument you want to learn, you can be the best damn softball player this world's ever seen."

"Savannah, I started figuring it out at thirteen, but I didn't let myself act physically until I was 16, I kissed a girl at a party for the first time, and it was magical. Everything flowed so naturally, my body just knew what to do. I reacted to her in a way that felt right—the way I had always envisioned the first kiss to be. I tried saying I was bisexual for a quick minute and even had sex with several guys to prove that I wasn't an abomination the way the church, my family, and everyone else in this town always said gay people are. Still, I could feel myself gravitating toward girls in ways that I didn't with boys."

"Did your family accept you?"

"I don't know I never told anyone I was too scared. It was a different time back then before it got better or internet support. There were no Gay pride parades even now at forty living in NYC, a place filled with cultural and sexuality differences. I am still living in that small-town mindset. I can't tell anyone. I can't even tell the woman who I am madly in love with who I know is so accepting of people. Because I am still afraid that even with an open mind as beautiful as Olivia's, I am afraid she'll reject me."

"Savannah, I know this feels like the end of the world right now, it's not I am right by your side. I will support you; you can stay with me. Will get through this together."

"Thank you, Miss. Amanda. Thank you so much. I think you should tell this Olivia lady how you feel. Even with my parent's rejection, I feel such a weight off my chest; I feel as if I can finally breathe."

"Amanda, maybe you should listen to Savannah, she seems like a brave young lady, and I love women who are strong in body, mind, and spirit. You have a very sexy strong body, and I know your mind is sharp, so if you get some balls Amanda and tell me how you feel face to face, I think we might be able to make a beautiful connection, of our minds, souls and our bodies." Olivia's voice completely freezes every sense, emotion and body function inside of me. I can't speak, think, move or even breathe.

Did she just hear me confess my deepest feelings for her?

[sailorportia]

Femslash February 2020, Day 4

Fandom: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power Pairing: Glimmer/Catra Prompt: Punk/Pastel

approx. 2,100 words, rated T

also available on AO3

Summary:  Catra and Glimmer are forced to work together on a group assignment, and it's almost a competition to see who's more annoyed by this arrangement.

Tags: University AU, Swearing, Alcohol, Drunken Kissing

Catra was holding court in her corner of the student union building's cafeteria. "I can't believe Professor Prime stuck me with Sparkles for a group project!" She slammed her fist on the table, rattling everyone's lunch trays. "Anyone else would've been better than Sparkles!"

"I'm confused," Entrapta said, picking up tiny sandwiches from her lunchbox. "Who's Sparkles? Oh, do we have a new friend!?"

"Oh, um, that's what she calls Glimmer," Scorpia said. "Because, well, y'know," she leaned in and whispered, "Catra doesn't like her very much."

"Oooooooh!"

Catra ignored the exchange, lost in her own petty misery. "That girl is the worst. Total control freak. She never shuts up in class, always arguing with the profs and making everything a debate. She's not even that smart. I bet she only got in because her mother's got tenure." Her hatred toward Glimmer in no way stemmed from the fact that princess was now closer to Adora than Catra was. They were even roommates now. Not that it bothered Catra at all.

"Um, just out curiosity," Scorpia said, "this might not be important, but have you ever really talked to her? Like, other than insulting each other?"

Catra gave her a blank look. "Why would I need to do that? I don't need to learn her favourite colour to know I hate her." Knowing Sparkles, it was probably pink. Or worse, hot pink.

Entrapta frowned. "That's not a very scientific approach."

"I'm a political science major. Everyone knows that's a fake science."

"Okay," Scorpia said. "But she's one of Adora's friends. Isn't that enough reason to try to get along with her?"

"I don't want to get along with Adora's friends." Catra uttered the words as if they were a rule. If Scorpia and Entrapta had been feeling sassy, they could've pointed out that Catra was also one of Adora's friends, and that would explain why she didn't get along with herself.

"I'm just saying," Scorpia said with a shrug. "Maybe if you give her a chance, you'll find something you like about her. Or, uh, something you don't hate at least. Who knows? You might have more in common than you think."

"As if!" Catra and Glimmer couldn't have been less alike. First off, their appearances were complete opposites. Catra's punk style had attitude, conveyed through dark colours, unruly hair, spiked accessories, the patches on her jacket and other modifications to her clothing, such as stylish, strategically placed holes she tore with her own claws. Glimmer, in contrast, was a pastel disaster whose brightly-coloured outfits hurt to look at. Her hair was literally pink, like she was made of bubblegum or something. Secondly, Glimmer was a sanctimonious goody two-shoes, whereas Catra just didn't give a fuck. No way in hell were they going to get along.

"Well, you better figure out how you're going to talk to Glimmer," Entrapta said, "because she's headed this way."

A group of three approached their table: Adora and Bow, led by a pissed off Glimmer. Catra might have found it intimidating if she weren't wearing the softest possible shade of lavender. Her new haircut was something of an improvement. She was almost hot—but Catra wasn't into bossy girls.

"Hey, Catra," Adora said nervously as the group reached the table.

Glimmer cut Catra off before she could say her customary greeting. "If you screw up this assignment for me, I'm going ruin you."

Bow grimaced. "Glimmer! We literally just went over this!"

"You could at least pretend to be nice," Adora said.

"Why do I have to be nice?" Glimmer pointed at Catra accusingly. "If you heard the way she talks in class you'd get it. She's a war criminal waiting to happen."

Catra snorted. "Says the girl who's a shill for the monarchy."

Bow stepped between them. "Guys, guys, cool it. We don't want another fist fight on our hands."

"It was one time!" Glimmer protested. "And it was hardly my fault. Nyan Cat over here was being a belligerent drunk."

"Don't blame me for that incident," Catra said. "You threw the first punch after like six Shirley Temples."

"Who wouldn't punch you when you're so obnoxious?" Glimmer let out an agonized groan. "Just get your ass to me and Adora's dorm room tonight by six o'clock, or I'll come looking for you."

"Whatever." Catra stuck her tongue out as Glimmer stalked off, her friends running off after her. She didn't need any more proof that the two of them were incompatible at every level. Maybe she'd fail this assignment on purpose just to piss her off.

Glimmer was already regretting her decision to work on the group project in her dorm room. Her reasoning had been that she didn't want to be seen in public with Catra, but she hadn't anticipated how much having Catra in her living space made her skin crawl.

They were sitting on Glimmer's side of the room. Catra had attempted to make herself at home on Adora's bed, but Glimmer put that to a stop immediately.

"You don't shed, do you?" Glimmer asked, eyeing Catra's wild mane of fur. "I don't want to be picking your hairs off my clothes for the next month."

"That's an anti-cat microaggression," Catra said. "Not very politically correct of you. Besides, it can't be as bad as all the glitter you leave behind, Sparkles."

"That's not my name! And I do not wear that much glitter." Sure, Glimmer preferred sparkly eye shadow some days, and some of her clothes did have glittery details on them, but glitter wasn't her thing. "You're in no place to criticize how I look." She sneered at Catra's outfit, specifically the tears in her pants. "Nice jeans, were they 50% off?"

"Haha. Very funny. I'm sure you bought your clothes at 200% the price just to show off how bougie you are."

"Listen you—" Glimmer groaned through her teeth. She knew Catra was just trying to get under her skin. All she had to do was be the bigger person and let this go. "The sooner we start this assignment, the sooner we'll be done and out of each other's hair."

"Finally something we can agree on," Catra said. "What's the topic again?"

"We're supposed to pick one from this list." Glimmer retrieved the relevant paper from her desk and read them off. "There's one about arguments for and against raising the minimum wage."

"Eh? That sounds dangerously like math. Economics sucks."

"Fair. Next is one about the role of money in politics."

"Still too much math."

"Suggestions for electoral reform?

Catra laughed. "Maybe get rid of elections altogether? Then everyone's equally unhappy with the result."

Glimmer could've sworn she had some patience, but it was running out faster than she'd anticipated. "There's one about the ethics of torture."

"That one's easy. Whatever gets the job done is fine with me."

Never mind writing an assignment together, they were never going to find a topic they could agree on due to Catra having the moral centre of a Saturday morning cartoon villain. "Torture doesn't even work! The premise is flawed."

"Really? It's working on me right now."

Glimmer groaned. "Is this a joke to you? This assignment is for 10% of our mark! You might not care about your own future, but I do."

Catra smirked. "What's wrong? Afraid that Professor Mommy will be disappointed if her little princess flunks a class?"

"You don't have any idea what it's like studying at a college where your mother is one of the professors. Having to measure up to those expectations all the time."

"Hey, at least people expect something from you. You can't imagine what it's like to grow up in Adora's perfect shadow."

"Yeah, well now she's my perfect roommate, and I'm going to lose it if I have to hear one more time that Adora got on the dean's list last year and I didn't."

"Oh yeah? Well I would've gotten on the list too if I didn't have to deal with Professor Hordak's inferiority complex."

The conversation carried on way longer than it should've. It turned out the only way they could avoid bitching at each other was by bitching to each other instead. Before long they ordered a pizza and cracked open a couple of cold ones, the assignment lying forgotten on Glimmer's desk.

By the time they ran out of things to complain about, they were both a little beyond tipsy. They had moved to sitting on Glimmer's bed, leaning against each other. Glimmer was very aware of the fact that she had never been this close to Catra before, physically or emotionally. Not wanting to linger on those thoughts, she said the first thing that came to mind.

"Hey, is it true that you wore a tux to your high school prom?"

Catra smirked. She put her empty beer can down and got out her phone. "Feast your eyes."

Feast, Glimmer did. She was tempted to ask Catra to send her the pictures. "Daaaaaaaaaaamn," Glimmer said. "Adora's so lucky. I went to mine with Bow as a friend-date, but she got to dance with the hottest girl at the prom."

If they were any farther apart, she wouldn't have picked up on the other girl's reaction: a low, rumbling sound in her chest.

"Oh my god." Glimmer couldn't believe her ears. "Are you purring?"

"No!" Catra stuffed her phone back in her pocket and crossed her arms over her chest, as if that would cover up the sound she'd already made. "You're imagining things. All that glitter must've gone to your head."

"Oh, looks like someone isn't used to hearing people say nice things about her." This was too good. "So that's how I get under your skin."

Catra's face looked like it couldn't decide if she were furious or embarrassed. "Screw off, Sparkles."

"Aw, you can dish it out but you can't take it? That's so cute." Glimmer honestly didn't know why she was winding Catra up. Maybe she wanted to see what would happen when she finally sprung.

Catra stood up, but didn't step away from the bed. "Isn't Adora going to be coming back soon? I should probably go..."

Glimmer grabbed Catra's arm and pulled her back down. "We've talked enough about Adora. Let's talk about you."

"I don't want to talk," Catra said. "I don't want Adora to walk in and see me getting along with you!"

"You care too much about what Adora thinks. Are you that hung up on your old prom date?"

"I am not! Screw you! I'm always getting the girls. I don't need to chase after Adora. I've got pull!"

Glimmer smirked. "I'll believe it when I see it."

Catra had hit her limit. The cat finally pounced. "You asked for it."

In one swift motion, Catra pushed Glimmer down and pinned her to the bed. There was a moment's pause before their lips crashed together.

Oh my god, Glimmer thought as she tasted the alcohol on Catra's breath, is Catra kissing me? Am I kissing her back? Even being tipsy wasn't enough to excuse this. But Glimmer didn't really care. She needed to blow off steam, and making out with a bitchy catgirl serviced that need.

The kissing kept getting messier and messier, which was a nice analogue to their interpersonal relationship. Glimmer vaguely acknowledged that she'd never live it down if anyone found out about this, but it wasn't like Catra was going to brag about it either. They were in the clear—

"Oh my god. I didn't expect you guys to get along this well."

Glimmer and Catra sobered up instantly. They broke apart, Catra springing away as if she'd suffered an electric shock. In absolute horror they turned in unison to see Adora standing in the doorway, barely containing her amusement.

"This isn't what it looks like!" Glimmer said.

"It's actually exactly what it looks like," Catra said. "Kill me."

Adora laughed so hard she snorted. "Looks like you guys had a party," she said, looking at the empty pizza box and beer cans. "You guys must've finished up that assignment pretty quickly." She raised an eyebrow at the sight of the pair's blank looks. "You did work on the assignment, right?"

As if a switch had been thrown, Glimmer and Catra were back at each other's throats as if nothing had happened. "This is all your fault!"

[alitaimagines]

request: no

georgi popovich x fem reader

note: i wrote this on my other blog but I feel like you guys would enjoy it as well.

fandom: yuri on ice

“Oh wow. I’m the one who’s a clown?” You exclaimed as stared at the statement Emil made. “Right, the next time you fall on your ass during your performance, make sure I’m not around or I will scream out what you just told me. I’ll make sure to hold a sign that reads clown in large letters. Better yet, I’ll write a sign that says, "you’re not a clown, you’re the entire circus Emil.”“

Emil gave you a bewildered look. "I’m not the one who’s hiding feelings for a certain someone.” You whipped your head around to look at Mila. “You told Emil I like Leo?” As you were about to kick drop Mila, Emil laughed. “No she didn’t but you just did.”

You growled as you threw your head back in annoyance, “Not a word out of you Nekola or I’ll tell Michele about your little crush on Sara.” Emil put his hands up in surrender as you sipped your coffee in confidence. “So Mila, how’s your love life progressed since we’ve last seen each other?”

Mila shrugged, “The same shit. Trust me Emil, Sara won’t ever see you that way.” You choked on your coffee realizing what she meant. “It’s best you figure out another girl to go after. I mean there are so many to choose from that one is bound to find you attractive.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Emil shrieked at Mila’s comment. You sighed and gave a look too Mila. “Emil, Sara is a whole lesbian. When two girls like each other, they tend to start dating, you know!”

Emil gave you a confused look as you widened your eyes at him. “Emil, I swear to fucking god, it’s like I’m talking to fucking five year old. You really need to stop doing whatever extreme sports you partake in because it’s getting into your head.” You sucked some air in before screaming to Emil. “MILA AND SARA ARE LESBIANS. THE TWO OF THEM LIKE EACH OTHER.”

Once he realized what you meant, his eyes widened, “Wow, it’s like I’m the seventh wheel. I’ve truly upgraded.” You rolled your eyes at what Emil said as you scrolled through your phone. Just as you were about to exit Instagram, you noticed Leo’s last photo.

Leo had a girl wrapped around his arm as she kissed his cheek with a heart emoji as his caption. Mila and Emil noticed that your mood had entirely changed. She took the phone from your hands and scanned the photo realizing what happened.

“Oh no, ( your name ), I’m so sorry.” Mila whispered as Emil took the phone from Mila’s hands. “I thought you told me that Leo didn’t like Camila.”

You laughed from the bitterness as Emil didn’t say a word. “That’s what he told me when we were together at the club last week and now I have to see him tonight.” The two of them rubbed your back to try to sooth you but they could tell the tears you were holding back.

“Listen, if we run into Leo and Camila, we can ignore them.” Mila offered as you shrugged. “And if you want to leave early, you have every right too. I’m sure Sara and I will go home with you.”

“If I see them together tonight, I might actually lose it.” You whispered as the three of you walked into the banquet hall. The London Cup was holding a banquet for all of the competitors the night before the competition and since all of the coaches forced everyone to go, you were more than sure that Leo was going to be there. “Maybe I can make it out before I get seen by anyone.”

You spoke to soon as the paparazzi had already seen you. You checked your semi-tearstained face and tried to make sure you didn’t look completely destroyed from the face. You grabbed a brush and the powder from your bag and reapplied it to your face before walking in. Emil gave you one last look of confidence as you noticed the plethora of skaters on the floor.

Guang Hong and Phichit immediately noticed the three of you walking in. “Hey! You guys made it!” Phichit exclaimed as he embraced you into a hug. “Where are the Crispino twins?” Emil explained that Sara and Michele fell down with the cold due to temperature difference.

“Well, Leo and everyone else are in the back. We’re just waiting on the two of you to really start the party.” Guang Hong said as the two of them dragged the three of you to one of the rooms in the back. You stared at Mila and Emil as they noticed your uncomfortable look.

The room was filled with basically everyone from last years Grand Prix Final and the competitions prior to that. You noticed the only ones missing were Seung-Gil and Yurio. You knew Seung-Gil hated socializing, as did Yurio so it didn’t come off as a surprise.

You scanned the room and seen Leo. He was talking to a few people and as you realized that Camila wasn’t there, you had spoken too soon. Camila was walking back from the bathroom and immediately joined Leo. You wanted to turn around and ignore them but you had made eye contact with Leo.

He along with Camila ran towards you. You gulped down the lump in your throat as you tried to find Emil or Mila but they had been dragged off in different directions.

“Hey! This is-!” Leo started to exclaim before you cut him off. “I know who she is. I’ll see you around.” You gave the two a look before walking away and tried to find the closest bar. Leo looked like a kicked puppy as he continued to stare at you before walking away as Camila.  

You were three years older than Leo and while you thought it was okay, others found it odd that you were so much older than Leo.

You found the bar to only see Georgi and Christophe there. Christophe was already on the brink of being passed out drunk as Georgi was drinking to himself. You didn’t know Georgi well but the two of you were mutual friends because of Mila.

“Hey Popovich.” You said as you slumped down on your chair. “How are you.”

He gave you a look before shrugging, “The same.”

“So we’re both heartbroken, that’s cool.” You exclaimed semi jokingly as you ordered two shots of Fireball whiskey. Georgi couldn’t help but laugh. “You too? With who?” You motioned discreetly to Leo as his eyes widened in realization. “To heartbreaks.”

The two of you clinked shot glasses together as the bitter taste of whiskey went down your throat. You shook off the bitterness as Georgi laughed at your reaction.

“Man, heartbreak fucking sucks. Cheating and being lead on are the fucking WORST.” You growled as you hit your head on the bar top. “Sometimes you just need to skate out your emotions. Everyone seen my season that was around Anya and it helped a bit.”

You shrugged, “I don’t think it would be suitable to make a routine about a relationship that never happened. Being lead on is a different kind of heartbreak if you ask me.” Georgi nodded as ordered another two rounds of whiskey. The two of you chugged them down again. “Isn’t it kind of fucked that we’re both just sitting here depressed?”

“Yeah but what can we do?” You smiled. “Tomorrow Beyonce is coming to London and I wanted to surprise Leo with the tickets but fuck that. Want to come with me instead?”

Georgi was surprised, “Sure. I don’t listen to her but I’ll go with.” You smiled as you dug into your purse and got the ticket. “They’re not the best kind of seats but hey, we’re going to fucking see BEYONCE!” Georgi laughed at your enthusiasm. As you discreetly looked over to Leo, you seen that he was staring at you but you didn’t bother to give him another look.

The night progressed as both you and Georgi continued to drink the night away. The two of you didn’t realize how much the two of you were actually drinking until you seen the bottle half finished.

Mila and Emil constantly made sure the two of you were okay since they knew the state of both your love lives. You were feeling the whiskey getting to you as Georgi was already slowly falling on his chair. Mila took advantage of the situation and played your favorite song.

“Oh my god, Georgi! It’s Check on It by Beyonce!” You drunkly squealed to him. “Come on!” You dragged him to the dance floor as you started the choreography to the song.

Mila was there when the Coachella performance was streaming on Youtube and seen the tears coming down your face as you watched Beyonce. She had watched you rewind the stream over ten times as you tried to learn the dance. Seeing you dance it perfectly didn’t come off as a surprise to her.

“YES ( YOUR NAME )!” Mila screamed as you started to take you jacket off. You started to back it up on Georgi as Mila and Emil whistled. Viktor was already drunkly joining you on the floor as he tried to follow your steps. Christophe followed and all of sudden, everyone was dancing on the floor. Georgi had a small blush on his face but didn’t stop you.

“PLAY IT AGAIN!” Mila screamed as the DJ did as he was instructed and replayed the song.

//

You woke up the next morning realizing you had to show your face at the London Cup in a few hours. You weren’t exactly in the mood to skate but it was your fault as well as Georgi’s for drinking so much. Mila wasn’t competing but she had accompanied you to the competition.

“Wow, I’m surprised you got up in time.” Mila joked as you were drying your hair after your shower. “You and Georgi were so drunk last night, it was ridiculous. He was super happy on the fact that you were dancing on him.” You gave a dry laugh as the two of you walked out of the hotel room.

“I wasn’t expecting to be having such a fun time with Georgi but it got my mind of Leo.” Mila bursted out laughing at the mention of Leo’s name. “He was so upset last night. When he seen you so close with Georgi, he was screaming in anger to Guang Hong.”

You rolled your eyes, “Oh, he could lead me on but the minute I start to have fun, I’m suddenly the bitch?” Mila shrugged as the two of you tried to hail a cab. “Plus, you know how I’ve been trying to find a partner for a partner competition? Georgi offered to be my partner!”

Mila’s eyes widened, “That’s great! I’m assuming Yakov is training the two of you?” You shook your head no. “My coach is. Yakov isn’t trained into couples skate but my coach is so she’s training us starting next week.”

As you made it to the arena, you noticed the packed crowd. The multiple flags in the air as you ran to find your coach. Mila ran to the mens locker room and found Georgi warming up for his routine.

“You and ( your name ), what the fuck is up with that?” Mila exclaimed. Georgi shrugged. “We’re partners now. We have our first training session next week. Why?”

Mila pointed to Leo, “The two of you are heartbroken, it isn’t the healthiest to be each others rebound.” Georgi rolled his eyes. “We’ll be fine.” Georgi excused himself to get back to warming up.

You were on the other end of the building as your turn was coming up. You were doing a routine to “Polovestian Dance” from Prince Igor. You knew it was a bit unconventional but you had been practicing for a little over a year and you were beyond confident in it.

“From ( your country ), ( your name )!” The announcer said as you skated out to the rink. You noticed Georgi, Mila, Leo, and a few others in the front row.

You stood in the middle of the rink as you slowly started to skate. The routine was way out of your element as your last few routines were to pop music. You were about to do your first quad and managed to land safely on your third jump as the crowd clapped in support.

You were skating your emotions away like Georgi had said to do. You were a bit scared that you were getting close to Georgi so quickly because Georgi was someone you weren’t expecting to be so close with. He was funny, smart, witty, and that was something everyone pushed away because of how dramatic he was.

As the song was coming to a finish, you noticed Georgi standing up and looking at you intensely, hoping you didn’t fall as your final quad was coming up. Just as you went for your quad again, you stuck your landing a lot more confidently as the song finished. You screamed out in happiness as you skated back to the middle of the rink.

Your coach immediately went to open the door as you tacked her for a hug. She put the sweater that they were handing out all of the competitors and led you to the bench to find out your result.

“98.9”

You broke out in a smile as you waved to the camera along with your coach. You went to back to give interviews as you noticed Leo approaching you. You wanted to roll your eyes but refrained from doing so as the cameras were still rolling. Not too far from Leo was Georgi.

“Georgi!” You said as you moved past Leo and went Georgi to hug him. “How did I do? I’m sure I at least made silver!”

The two of you walked away as Georgi went to the warm up center to wait for his turn. Leo wasn’t exactly happy that you were suddenly so close with Georgi. He knew he should have told you about Camila but you were his best friend, damn it.

Georgi was performing the Mens Short Single which didn’t have too many great competitors. You knew Georgi was sure that was going to rank silver or gold so you weren’t too worried about it.

“Listen, after this, we’re heading straight to the concert. I know we look like complete trash but we literally aren’t going to have any time to get redressed and make it in time.” You explained as you went to the tunnel where the skaters were being released onto the ice from. “I’ll be watching from the stands, Popovich.”

Georgi smiled as he went out on the ice with a smile on his face. You trudged to the front row and took Georgi’s place next to Mila. You didn’t know the inspiration behind his routine today but he was skating to “Somebody to Love” by Queen so you were sure it still had some element to his relationship with Anya,

You were mesmerized by his routine and didn’t notice him skate by you as he gave you a wink. You gave him a small wave as he went back to the center of the rink. He was going for his first jump and landed smoothly. You stood up and clapped as his routine was coming to a finish.

“Wow, one day and the two of you are in love.” Mila joked as Georgi went to the bench with Yakov to find his score out.

//

After the competition, the two of you had your heads in the clouds. You had gotten silver like you expected as Georgi received gold. You were wearing leggings and the competition sweater as Georgi was practically wearing the same thing except he was wearing sweatpants.

The two of you went to the concert and Georgi couldn’t help but admit, this was the most fun he had in a while. He still had small lingering feelings for Anya but being with you, his mind was pushing those thoughts away. Georgi just hoped that you were slowly losing feelings for Leo as well.

Once the concert ended, you noticed that a few photographers had seen that you and Georgi were together and you were sure that the two of you were going to make national headlines in the morning.

“Georgi, I’m hungry.” You whined as you held onto his arm. The man was marginally taller than you so your weight, regardless of how much you actually weighed, didn’t impact him in the slightest. “I’m willing to eat anything.”

Georgi showed you his phone, “Mila and Yurio are at a restaurant not too far from here, want to go?” You nodded as you noticed Georgi slowly starting to hold you hand. It was a soft hold but you felt the smile appearing on your face.

“And the winners have arrived!”  You heard Mila screamed as she ushered you where everyone was sitting. “How was the concert?”

“It was amazing! The next time Beyonce is around, we all need to go see her.” You gushed to her. “Georgi and I were thinking about the topic of our routine and we might be doing a mashup of her songs.”

Mila was surprised. “Wow, you guys already chose a singer? Do you guys have a theme yet?”

Both you and Georgi smiled at each other, “Electric love.”

//

Georgi had offered to travel to your home country to train. Your coach was still in the midst of arranging the music so the two of you had a few days for Georgi to travel around and sight see your country.

“So what is a girl your age doing liking someone like Leo?” Georgi asked as the two of you were walking around a park. “He’s still 19 and you’re 22, aren’t you?”

You sighed, “Yeah but we’ve been friends since we were kids. I started to really like him a few months back but the age gap really didn’t bother us. It sounds kind of predatory but he was 18 when he showed interest in me. Why do you ask?”

“Well, he’s still a kid. Someone in their twenties shouldn’t be competing for the attention of a teenager.” Georgi admitted. “I’m not trying to be rude to Leo but it’s the truth.”

You knew he had a point.

“I know but who am I going to go after?” You asked as you threw your head back. “I don’t have many guy friends and the ones I do have are either gay or in relationships.”

Georgi smirked, “You got me.” You couldn’t help but laugh at his confidence. “You’re right.”

From that moment on, the two of you were almost always together. He never formally asked you out but each time the two of you went out on dates, it was almost always circling around the news.

Everyone knew about it but the ones who expressed their happiness was Mila and Emil. They both thought that the two of you relying on each other would be a bit toxic but when they seen that it was the complete opposite of that, they were more than happy to support the relationship.

Leo was furious whenever he seen you posting pictures with Georgi. He knew that the two of you were partners now but he wasn’t expecting the two of you to end up dating each other. Him and Camila broke up a bit after you and Georgi got together. She realized that Leo still held feelings for you and whenever he seen a photo of you and Georgi together, he was livid beyond belief. Leo never expected someone as dramatic as Georgi to be with you but now there wasn’t anything he could do about it.

The two of you had entered a non-competitive competition to practice your routine. If the two of you aced the routine at a lousy free competition, you were sure that the two of you would qualify for an actual competition.

The songs you had chosen for the routine were “Hold up”, “Countdown”, “Check on It”, and “Crazy in Love”. Check on It was a staple to your relationship with Georgi and he more than wanted the song to be included in the routine.

//

The morning of the competition had came and while you were expecting it to be just you and Georgi at the arena, you noticed Mila, Emil, both of the Crispino twins, Viktor, and Yuri in the stands.

“Hey guys!” You said excitedly as you went to hug everyone. “I wasn’t expecting to any of you here!”

Mila smiled, “We all wanted to come and support the both of you. We seen how hard the two of you have been working so we figured we could come and see the routine.” Just as Mila finished talking, Georgi came up to you.

“Wow Georgi, you really got lucky.” Emil joked as he nudged at you. “The two of you look great. So what songs did the two of you choose to do? We know you chose Beyonce but which songs?”

You looked at Georgi before laughing, “That’s a surprise! You’ll see when we get up there but for now, we have to head out. We’re up soon but after that, we can all head up to my place and have dinner. We have something to announce!”

They all looked up at the two of you in confusion. You gave them an evil smile before you grabbed Georgi’s hand and walked away. Out of the corner of your eye, you could have sworn you had seen Leo but you didn’t exactly see if it was him.

Both you and Georgi were wearing similar outfits. You were wearing a costume that was a bit out of your element. It showed a bit more skin compared to your previous outfits but Georgi didn’t mind it one bit. He enjoyed seeing you practice in the costume.

“From Russia, Georgi Popovich and from ( your country ), ( your name )!” The announcer stated as you heard the cheers from your friends. “A medley too Beyonce.”

You stood in the middle of the rink as the song started. You were skating around Georgi as swayed to “Hold up”. You had went low to the floor which caused Emil and Viktor to wolf whistle jokingly as “Countdown” was slowly starting.

Georgi grabbed your hand and reeled you back in. He flipped you as “Countdown” began. The crowd cheered as the song got more exciting. You did a quad and landed in Georgi’s arms as he flipped you once more. You knew “Check on It” was coming up and that was the song you were excited for. You skated around Georgi as “Check on It” began and you heard Mila’s scream as she realized the song. You went for a triple toe loop and landed safely on the ground as Georgi went for his quad.

You quickly glanced at the crowd and seen that everyone was mesmerized by the routine. Georgi grabbed your legs and lifted you up from the ankles as you smiled at the crowd before he let you down. You skated around Georgi again as “Crazy in Love” began. The crowd immediately clapped as you started clap as Georgi went to dance.

Just as Georgi finished his solo part, you immediately began to dance. The cheers from the crowd as well as the screams from your friends had you smiling from ear to ear. The music had slowed down as you went for toe jump. As you landed back on the ice, you knew it was time for the finale.

You were going to backflip and hopefully you make the landing. Georgi grabbed your ankles again and you took a deep breath before looking at Georgi. You gave him a look of complete trust as he went to flip you. You managed to make the backflip successful as you wobbled to stick the landing.

The crowd had went crazy as the two of you went back to center ice. The music finished as you hugged Georgi with everything you had. He went for a kiss and you immediately returned it as the two of you waved to the camera before going onto the bench.

As you were walking out of the tunnel to head over to the press zone, you noticed Mila and the rest of your gremlin friends running towards you.

“Holy fuck! You guys, that was AMAZING!” Mila screamed as she hugged the both of you. “I had never seen such chemistry for pair before!”

You gave her bashful smile, “Thanks! We can meet up after we finish our interviews. Mila, you have the keys to my apartment anyway so bring everyone up there and we can order really shit fast food or I can whip something up.”

They all nodded as everyone trudged up towards the exit. You and Georgi went to the press zone and gave off interview after interview. Georgi was able to tell that you were starting to get annoyed by the constant interviewers and since he had been living with you for so long, he figured you probably were hungry and in the need for some wine.

As the two of you managed to escape the mix up zone, you seen Leo walking towards you. You gave Georgi a look as he squeezed your hand.

“Hey.” Was all Leo said. “You guys did great.”

You wondered for a minute, “Thanks. Hard work and dedication for the past year does that.”

The three of you looked at each other as Georgi was fixing his hair.

“So, the two of you are serious?” You nodded as Georgi finally spoke up. You were a bit scared to hear what he had to say. “Yeah, we’re moving in together. She’s moving to Russia starting next month.”

Hearing what Georgi said, your face contorted into a smile. All Leo was able to do was gave you a small smile as a million thoughts were racing through his mind. You were able to tell he was struggling to say something.

“That’s great. I’m happy for the both of you.” Leo stated as he a gave a breath of release. “How are you going to compete if you live in Russia?”

“Oh, the off season is coming up and the next competition is a pairs competition but it isn’t for a while so when the time comes to train, I’m still keeping my house here and living there until I’m finished.” You explained. “Other than that, I’m staying in Russia with Georgi.”

Leo nodded, “Thats cool. Well, I hope to see the both of you around soon.” You nodded as you gave him another small smile before walking away.

Georgi already impatient at the fact that you were taking so long with Leo. You jogged up to him as he held you close and attacked you with small kisses. Leo knew he lost his chance the night you got close with Georgi and if he was being honest, that was his biggest mistake. Losing you over a girl and a relationship that didn’t last long.

//

Both you and Georgi were a bit nervous to tell the rest of your friends the news. You knew it was early in the relationship for you to be so bold to move halfway across the world for a boy you had been dating for just a year but you knew in your gut that Georgi was it for you and Georgi knew he couldn’t go through another heartbreak like he did with Anya. The two of you found comfort and love in each other and you knew this was all the two of you wanted.

When you reached the door of your apartment, you heard the commotion from inside. Viktor and Emil were yelling about something as Mila was trying to hush them down.

“Hey! How did everything go?” Sara asked as she kicked Emil out of his seat on the couch for you to sit on. “You guys took longer than expected.”

You laughed as you sipped the glass of wine that Mila had given you.

“It went great but we’re really excited about something and I know Mila will especially be happy for what I’m about to say.” You said as they all listened intensely. “As you guys can see, there are boxes every where.”

“Just tell us!” Viktor screeched.

“Georgi and I decided we’re moving in together and since I train a lot in Russia, I’m moving in with him over there.” There was a long silence before Mila tackled you into a hug. “You’re moving to Russia! Oh my god!”

Viktor now realizing managed to join in the hug, “We’re practically going to be neighbors!” You laughed as you thanked Emil, Sara, Michele, and Yuri. “I’m moving next month and Georgi is going to help me get settled in.”

“That’s amazing! This night is calling for a celebration so boys, get off your asses and go buy the most expensive bottle of alcohol any of you can find and we can stay back and cook something!” Mila screamed as you tried to pry her off you.

You gave a look to Georgi knowing that he just wanted to spend time with you but you knew that wasn’t going to happen. You gave him a small smile before ushering him with Emil and Michele to go to the store.

You found love in Georgi and he found it in you. While you thought you were going to find something in Leo, it was like a blessing in disguise. Leo was the coverup and Georgi was the real prize. Now you just hoped that you and Leo would go back to being friends. Maybe not now but slowly start fixing your friendship with him again.

-ALITA

[spaceorphan18]

Glee - The Exit Quiz

Okay, I’m gonna rapid fire answer these, cause why not.  I really recommend you guys do the same! (also - thanks @honeysucklepink - for sending in an ask <3) 

1. favorite character?

Kurt Hummel - love him so hard (but obviously, y’all know I love Blaine and many others, too) 

2. favorite teacher?

Probably Beiste or Emma

3. favorite couple?         

Klaine - be shocked.        

4. least favorite character?

Believe it or not, Ken Tanaka - I just cannot so hard

5. least favorite teacher?

Oh Will - he’s a disgrace to the profession. 

6. least favorite couple?    

I don’t know? Long term - Probably anything related to the Jarley/Ryder triangle - because it bored me to tears.   Short term - Puck/Shelby - don’t get me started. 

7. favorite duet?        

Off the top of my head - Happy Days/Get Happy, it hits the warm place of my heart        

 8. favorite bromance?

Sam and Blaine, kinda by default.  I wasn’t huge about the male friendships on the show. 

 9. favorite episode?

Oh c’mon, y’all know it’s New New York

10. favorite season?           

This is actually hard - I think season 2 has my favorite bits, but season 5 is my favorite overall?      

11. least favorite season?              

Season 3 - continued to be shocked  

12. favorite favorite episode?               

Um, did we not just go over this? 

13. favorite cast member?                

Oh Chris, you know it’s Chris

14. funniest character?                

Jane Lynch *lol

15. which character's clothes would you like? 

EEsh, hard pass on most of them. 

16. favorite competition episode?      

Original Song - almost by default, I really can’t stand most of the competition episodes.           

17. what episode can you watch over and over again?                

Most of them, and I have ;)  I like Love, Love, Love might be the most rewatchable though. 

18. what character do you find the best looking?      

I had to think... is it Kurt? Yeah, no, it’s definitely Kurt...           

19. why did you start watching glee?               

Okay, so I’ll tell this whole story... 

So, ten years ago, I got a new job, and moved to a new city, and met a (seemingly) nice guy - with whom I went out with a few times and (unfortunately) it didn’t work out because I got dumped cause he wasn’t that great and still seeing his ex.  Fun, right? Anyway - a friend of mine was like - I’m sorry you’re sad - watch this show! You like musicals and are okay with gay, you’ll like it! 

So - she gave me the season 1 (part 1) dvd and I was like - yeah, that’s fun, but nothing about it grabbed me.  Except DSB - that gave me chills.  But then she insisted we watch it together every time it was on, and so we did... through, eh, half way through season 2? 

And I was, like, nope, this show is just the worst - it’s mean spirited and mean and I am not really enjoying it.  So I stopped.  For about a year. 

So a year-ish later, I got let go from a second job (that was fine - it was super shady and people got arrested, don’t do random online jobs guys) and had some free time, so decided to catch up on Glee and **gasp** watched The First Time and absolutely fell in love with Klaine.  And then I rewatched the whole series and really appreciated it more the second time around.  

And years later, I’m now sitting here with you people.  Lol <3

20. how long have you watched glee?

March 2010                

21. what scene or episode made you fall in love with the show?   

The Auditorium scene from The First Time.  It took my breath away, which hadn’t happened since I started watching The Office.              

22. if you could wake up and be one of the characters for a day, who would you like to be?              

Elliott Gilbert - he seems to have his life together.   

23. what character would you most like to meet?           

Cooper Anderson - I mean who wouldn’t?      

24. favorite newbie character?             

Unique in the original newbies, Jane of the second group   

25. who would you be most want to be friends with?           

Elliott Gilbert - he’d get my life together     

 26. if you could have a one night stand with any character, who would you choose?           

Cooper.  I mean there are some things in life you’d just have to go for.  I’d imagine Santana would give you a pretty good time for a one night thing, too, though.      

 27. favorite fan fiction?                

Probably, Misqueue’s Scenes from a Breakup.  She really taught me the power of good fanfic. 

28. favorite headcanon?                

Hmm, this is so morbid, but the strongest one that comes to mind is that they both live to old age, but Blaine is the one who dies first, and Kurt’s kind of unbarable to be around afterwards, and I once wrote a tiny thing about this - how Kurt would get into fits and be nearly intolerable, but the seasoned nurses ask him to talk about Blaine, and it calms him down.  

29. favorite person that has guest starred on glee?

Hmmm, based on their characters - Matt Bomer, Adam Lambert, or Sarah Jessica Parker. Oh and Katey Segal.  I’m so sad that they didn’t bring her back. 

30. favorite minor character?                

I have a deep appreciate for Stoner Brett.  Also Lord Tubbington

31. what character annoys you the most?    

Ken Tanaka, uapoweifjodsifjeaw;oifh yuk. Also up there is Sandy Ryerson and JBI.             

32. what surprised you the most? 

I’m not sure what you mean??  Mostly that I’ve grown used to the idea of Blaine and Karofsky enough that I don’t hate it and I get why it was a thing.                 

33. which character resembles you the most?                

Thought processing wise - Kurt.  Though emotionally, maybe a bit of Blaine and Mercedes.  

34. which character are you most connected to?

Kurt                

35. 5 favorite quotes?

oh - god, i’m bad at remembering things off the top of my head -- 

My favorite one is: “let me autocorrect that for you.  Lima doesn’t have a zoo, why’d we think it did?” the delivery on that is the best.  

also the one where Jane Lynch goes on about giving Will a cat and punching him in the face.  

And the Kurt line about answering the phone saying ‘she’s dead’.                 

36. an unpopular opinion you have about this show?             

Oh, I have so many... mostly, season 2 isn’t as good as people claim it is, and season 6 is much better than people claim it is.    

 37. plot point you would've wanted to change, and how would you change it?   

The biggest one for me is adding in a catalyst to Kurt’s story to head back to Blaine.  Not so much change, but add to the already existing story.  

I’d also get rid of the whole Shelby/Puck thing all together.  Did not need to be a thing.   

(Where are questions 38-39??)

40. what will you miss the most?               

The week to week-ness of having discussions with people.   

41. top 10 favorite songs each season? 

Wow - this is a big question, time to get the iphone out... 

Season 1: 

Don’t Stop Believin’ (Pilot version) 

Defying Gravity (Kurt version) 

My Life Would Suck Without You

Run Joey Run (for comedic reasons)

Rose’s Turn

I Dreamed a Dream

Bad Romance

Bohemian Rhapsody

Don’t Stop Believin’ (Journey version) 

Over the Rainbow              

Season 2: 

I Want to Hold Your Hand

Happy Days Are Here Again/Get Happy

Teenage Dream

Forget You (Don’t ask - I love it) 

Baby, It’s Cold Outside

Misery

Blackbird

Raise Your Glass

Loser Like Me

As If We Never Said Goodbye

Season 3: 

Something’s Coming

Last Friday Night

Hit Me With Your Best Shot/One Way or Another

Perfect

We Are Young

I Will Always Love You

Love Shack

How Will I Know

I Have Nothing

Not the Boy Next Door

Season 4: 

Call Me Maybe

It’s Time

Teenage Dream (Acoustic) 

The Scientist

Dark Side

Being Alive

This is the New Year

Just Can’t Get Enough

Come What May

Mamma Mia

Season 5: 

All You Need is Love

Make You Feel My Love

Hold On

Defying Gravity 

Loser Like Me

Don’t Stop Believin’

Rockstar

Pumpin’ Blood

All of Me

Pompeii

Season 6: 

Home

Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow/Head Over Feet

Somebody Loves You

At Last

Listen To Your Heart

Popular

Some Day We’ll Be Together

Daydream Believer

This Time

I Lived

42. favorite new directions group cover?                

I mean, Don’t Stop Believin’ is the ultimate classic - but I have a strong appreciation for Hold On. 

43. favorite warbler cover?                

Oh, god, Teenage Dream probably? But then Raise Your Glass

44. favorite vocal adrenaline cover?                

Bohemian Rhapsody - nothing else really comes close. 

46. favorite celebrity judge?                

The Nun who used to be a stripper.  

47. someone you would've liked to see guest star on the show.                

Julie Andrews as Kurt’s grandmother.  

48. favorite tribute episode?                

The Beatles and Whitney Houston

49. what episode made you cry the most?                

The Break Up - partly cause of the music, and partly because of the circumstances of fandom around that time :P 

50  what episode made you laugh the most?

This show was a comedy?  (I’ll have to think about it and get back to you) 

[morinokunikara]

Double Date Night

Read on AO3

Fandom: Persona 5

Ships: Shiann, Ryushima

Summary: Shiho, Ann, Yuuki, and Ryuji have a double date planned-but what do they do when Shiho’s still-recovering body has other plans for her?

Notes:  Okay there’s a lot of reasons I wrote this fic, but it can basically be boiled down to wanting some gay shit, and wanting people to appreciated Shiho and Yuuki and their potential for friendship more (though the latter ended up…not showing as much as I would have liked). Canon sucks, I’m the writer now, and I will not be stopped.

I have the fic posted here, but please give it a look on AO3 as well, and maybe leave kudos and/or comments! It’d mean a lot to me.

Months had passed since Shiho’s release from the hospital, and things were going rather well. Her biggest problems were she still had to go to physical therapy weekly, and couldn’t walk on her own most days. At the very least, she needed a cane, which didn’t bother her too much. The cane was cool, Ann helped her paint it, and she got compliments on it all the time. On worse days she needed crutches, a little less enjoyable but still tolerable. Then there were wheelchair days. Shiho hated wheelchair days. Lots of places were very inaccessible, and she always got looks, or people trying to help when she didn’t need it. If she had to use the wheelchair, she would rather not go out at all.  But overall, she made amazing progress in her recovery. Not just physically, but mentally.

She was never able to return to playing volleyball at her new school, even if she could have physically, but she found joy in watching her former teammates play and almost never missed a Shujin game. She always made sure to be the loudest, most excited fan she could be. She made more friends, and would hang out with those friends when she could. Yuuki became her closest friend. Neither of them really talked when they played together, but they found out they had so much in common from both being trans to having similar struggles in life, and their friendship just stuck. He even helped her with asking Ann out, in return for her helping him ask Ryuji out. The four of them actually had a double date planned, a fairly common occurrence for them. The plan for this one was a movie, shopping, and dinner. However, it seemed that Shiho’s body had other plans.

She woke up nearly paralyzed by pain, so much just pulling herself out of bed made her feel like she just ran 100 laps. Why today of all days? She sat back in bed and pulled out her phone to text Ann.

Shiho: Hey…I don’t think I’m going to be able to go out today.

Ann: Everything okay?

Shiho: Not really. I can barely move. I’d have to use the chair. I really don’t want to have to get around in it. Sorry. You three can still go without me.

Ann: I’ll let the guys know. I hope you feel better soon. <3

Shiho: <3

Ann sighed as she looked at the texts again. She hated having to see Shiho hurt so much. They were all looking so forward to today, too… Sure, Ann could just go with the Yuuki and Ryuji but that defeated the whole purpose of the day… She couldn’t just let their day be cut short like that. She had a plan. It wasn’t guaranteed to work, but it was worth a shot. She made a group chat for her and the guys and sent a text.

Ann: Shiho’s not doing well today. She cancelled our plans.

Ryuji: Damn. Pain again I’m guessing?

Ann: Yeah…

Yuuki: It feels wrong to go without her…should we just reschedule?

Ann: No, I have a plan. Meet me in the underground mall. Bring something fun to do.

Ryuji: Gotcha.

Yuuki: See you soon!

The three met up in the underground mall a little over an hour later, Yuuki with some puzzle books and board games, Ryuji with some video games and DVDs, and Ann with makeup, magazines, and flowers she just bought.

“So I guess the plan is we surprise Shiho with all of this?” Yuuki asked.

“Yep! I can’t say for sure if she’ll like it or not, but I want to try. I’d hate just leaving her out…” Ann’s voice faded a bit, but picked up as she smiled. “So we’re gonna bring the double date to her!”

“Hell yeah!” Ryuji cheered. “Let’s get going!” He started to run off, then stopped a few feet away. “Wait uh…where’s she live again?”

Ann sighed and shook her head. “You’re hopeless… Why did you run off if you don’t know? I’ll lead you guys there.”

There was a short train ride to the Suzui residence, during which the three excitedly talked about what they brought and their plans, and shared their hopes that Shiho would enjoy their day together. Before too long, they were in front of the house. Ann rang the doorbell, and an older woman, Shiho’s mother, answered the door. She smiled as soon as she saw the three.

“Oh, are you three here to see Shiho? She’ll be so happy…she’s in her room right now.” She welcomed the three in, they took off their shoes, and went over to Shiho’s room quietly.

Ann knocked gently on the door, and Shiho called back. “It’s open…” Her voice sounded rather gloomy and strained. It hurt all three of her guests to hear it. Still, they all three kept smiles on their faces as Ann opened the door.

“Surprise!” Ann said cheerfully. “Hope you don’t mind that we showed up.”

Shiho’s whole face lit up slowly when she saw the three. Her pained, grim expression turned into a wide smile, and small tears of joy formed in her eyes. “You three…I told Ann you could go on without me…”

“Well sure,” Ryuji said. “But it wouldn’t be much of a double date if half of one of the couples was gone, would it?”

“We all made sure to bring something to do.” Yuuki showed off the books and games he brought. “We want to make sure your day in is a fun one.“

"Thanks, guys…” Shiho sniffled.

Ann went over to the bed. “I got you these too,” She said as she placed the flowers on the end table and sat on the edge of the bed. “So what do you want to do? We have magazines, makeup, video games, movies, some puzzle books, board games…take your pick!”

Shiho thought for a second. “Oh! Let’s all do each other’s makeup!” She said excitedly.

“Ehhh, I think I’ll pass on that one,” Ryuji said. “That cutesy shit is more Yuuki’s thing.” He patted his boyfriend’s head, and got his hand swatted away in return.

“He’s terrible at makeup,” Yuuki added on. “He tried to do mine once and it was awful.”

“I didn’t even know what half that shit was!”

“It’s really not as hard as you’re acting like it is.”

“It is too! I don’t get how you keep up with all those brushes and colors and stuff…”

Shiho laughed softly at the little playful argument. “You don’t have to participate if you don’t want to.”

“Yeah!” Ann agreed. “You can judge our looks instead.”

“Fine…” Ryuji grumbled softly. “But I’m warning you, I don’t know what’s good or bad…”

“Yuuki, can I do yours?” Shiho asked.

“And I wanna do yours, Shiho!” Ann said excitedly.

“I can do Ann’s then.” Yuuki said. “I actually have a look that’ll be perfect for you.”

The three took turns doing each other’s makeup, each person’s unique style showing up in the look of the person that did their makeup. Yuuki ended up with a simple, more natural look, Shiho with a very trendy girly look with lots of pink, and Ann with a more showy dramatic look.  

“Alright, Ryuji. Who did best?” Ann asked with a confident grin. She was certain that she’d win.

Ryuji looked closely at the three, spending his time really studying each look and thinking long and hard about his decision. “Uh…they all look the same to me.” He finally said in defeat.

Ann and Yuuki both sighed. “They couldn’t be more different from each other!” Ann exclaimed.

Yuuki took a deep breath. “Ryuji…I say this with all the love I have in my heart…you are completely hopeless.”

Shiho laughed, a bit more than her previous laugh. “Okay, lay off him you two…let’s just call it a tie, okay? I think we all look amazing.”

“You’re way too nice to him, Shiho.” Ann said. “He’ll never learn if we lay off…but fine, if you insist.”

“How about instead, we let him pick what we do next!” Shiho smiled at Ryuji. “You brought some games right? How about we play something?”

“Hell yeah! I brought my full collection cause i wasn’t sure what you liked…” Ryuji brought a stack of games over to Shiho. “Go ahead, pick your favorite!”

Shiho looked at the games thoughtfully, and ultimately picked a co-op RPG they could play together with minimal competition. The four enjoyed their game together, to the point where Shiho’s mother had to come in and ask them to quiet down. They spent hours on the game, eventually coming to a stop when they realized how long it had been. “Wow…I usually don’t play that much,” Ann said with a soft laugh.

“Me either, I just got so caught up in working with everyone, I lost track of the time,” Shiho admitted.

“So…What’s next?” Yuuki asked. Before anyone could suggest their next activity, Shiho’s mother peeked in the room.

“Are you kids hungry? I’m making beef stew tonight!”

“Beef stew?!” Ryuji perked up excitedly. “I could go for some beef!”

“Where are your manners?!” Ann scolded. “Thank you, Mrs. Suzui. Food would be lovely. Do you need any help?”

Shiho’s mom shook her head. “No, no, I wouldn’t want to pull any of you away. I may need help bringing the food here, however. I’ll call you when it’s ready.”

While dinner cooked, the four looked at some of Ann’s magazines. For all his griping about makeup, Ryuji was actually quite invested in the fashion (or maybe just the models) and was eager to point out some of his favorite looks, or outfits he thought would look good on others (mostly Yuuki, of course). Once Shiho’s mom called that dinner was ready, Ann went to the kitchen to help her carry the bowls into Shiho’s room. The four all sat and chatted about school, sports, and their other friends while they ate. Once they finished, Ann brought the bowls back to the kitchen, and the four spent some time playing some of the card games that Yuuki and brought.

“And a perfect match~!” Ann cheered, showing off her cards. “I win again!” She sung.

“Man, this is getting boring,” Ryuji whined. “How do you keep winning? You have to be cheating.”

“Or I’m just luckier than you,” Ann said, sticking her tongue out.

“I’m just not getting any matches!” Ryuji griped as he threw down his cards.

“Uh…Ryuji…sweetheart…” Yuuki looked over the cards on the ground. “You have 3 matches here.”

The others looked and sure enough, there were 3 matches scattered across Ryuji’s cards. “Wha…I…Damnit! It’s hard to tell when they’re all scattered like that!” Ryuji’s voice grew even more frustrated than it was over losing.

“You know if you sort them as you get them, that wouldn’t be a problem,” Shiho said. “That’s what I do.”

Ryuji looked at her in shock, completely dumbfounded by the fact that he hadn’t ever thought of that before. “That’s freakin’ genius!”

The four of them spent the rest of the night playing card games and board games, at some point also playing some movies and anime in the background. Before long, it was late into the night.

“We should probably get going,” Yuuki said, slowly rising to his feet. “Wouldn’t want to miss the train home.”

Ann got up and stretched. “I was actually going to stay the night if that’s okay with Shiho.”

“I can’t,” Ryuji said. “Gotta help my mom with chores tomorrow.”

“And I promised my sister we could play some games tonight,” Yuuki added on.

“Well, you two head back then. We don’t need you boys anyways,” Ann teased.

“Yeah, yeah,” Ryuji grumbled before turning to Shiho. “Hope today helped you a bit.”

“Of course it did,” Shiho replied with a bright smile. She opened her arms for a hug. “Come over here.” Ryuji and Yuuki both accepted hugs before heading out and going home.

Once the boys were gone, Ann and Shiho spent the night cuddled up together talking for hours until they got tired.

“Hey Ann?” Shiho said softly as the two began to drift off. “Thanks for this.”

“Hey, it was the guys too,” Ann pointed out.  “I can’t take all the credit.”

“But it was your idea, wasn’t it?”

“I mean yeah…but still, we all did our part because we wanted to see you happy.”

“I know you do…”

“I was kind of worried you might be mad to be honest. Like maybe we were being too intrusive or something.”

“Not at all! I’m…” Shiho found herself a bit choked up, but tried to fight back the tears. “I’m glad you all care so much. I felt so useless today but…you all made it a lot better.”

Ann smiled and kissed Shiho’s forehead. “I’m glad. That’s all I want to do for you, ever.”

“I love you so much, Ann. I don’t think I could ever thank you enough.”

“I love you too. Now let’s get some sleep, okay?”

The two fell asleep peacefully in each other’s arms, both so, so thankful for each other and all their friends

[asgardian--angels]

 screamymeemies replied to your post: Do you ever just think about the abandoned...

1. Hope you don’t mind my own share of rambling, but I was present as events unfolded. Listened to Pirate Radios as they came out, played the Plastic Beach online games as the chapters were released, and actually participated in the Evangelist design competition (though admittedly I didn’t get too far, heh). And honestly?? I was crestfallen. I left the fandom pretty pissed off—pissed at Jamie and Damon that kinda just let shit completely unravel, and pissed that there was nothing we could do.

2. Also still incredibly bitter about DoYaThang. It’s good, yeah, but I can’t listen to it without frowning a bit. I wanted more with Spirit House, too, and I’m worried Phase 5 will flop over too. Idk. Maybe I’m just taking this all too seriously. Gorillaz was meant to be fun—Damon and Jamie really don’t owe us anything. But there is such a thing as bad storytelling, and I fear it might happen again. I’m crossing my fingers it won’t.

Hey there! I don’t mind at all, in fact I welcome it. I would love more perspectives from fans who were there as it unfolded. I share your sentiments exactly. I obviously don’t know the half of what went down that caused phase 3 to crumble, but man... it’s hard not to know your budget is running thin? It’s one thing to try and wrap things up hastily, and another to just, drop everything and go radio silent for years, leaving nothing but a quick farewell in DoYaThing that honestly, would have been a really bad way to go out. DoYaThing was honestly the saddest video they’ve ever made. It’s heartwrenching to watch. And to leave so many fans thinking that was IT? That there’d be no closure? Like, I can see how it was supposed to give some sort of closing statement, with offering a chance for 2D to escape his abusive environment, but it was bittersweet, and offered nothing for Murdoc, and left Noodle and Russel in the wind. Just the ‘wouldn’t it be nice if we were just normal people’ verse.... nearly had me in tears tbh. To have ended on such a bad note would have sucked. So in that sense, I’m glad they came back. But it’s a double-edged sword, since what we’re getting now is a step back (or a couple) from what we had going in phase 3. 

I don’t think you’re taking it too seriously - it’s tptb that need to be taking it more seriously. Of course it should be fun, and what’s been the most fun is having such a rich story to accompany such good music. The band wouldn’t be half as successful as it is if not for the characters and the world that’s been built for them. The whole ‘virtual band’ thing wouldn’t sell very well if there’s no lore to make the characters seem real and exciting. More than that, they’ve been able to make it MEAN something. Everything they’ve come to stand for, and how they’ve been able to use the story as metaphor for real world issues, and as a mirror for ourselves. If we are disappointed and angry, it’s not because we’re demanding too much. It’s because we’ve seen what they’re capable of, seen that they care, and recognize that lately, they’ve gone backwards, not forwards. You can’t un-make Murdoc a complex character. They’ve established he is, and have decided to ignore it, either not knowing or not caring how much this affects the fans. That upsets me because it seems like they no longer treat Murdoc with respect and believe he is capable of redemption or deserves it, which to me goes against the fundamental morals and statements established by the band in the first place. Cass Browne shouldn’t have been the only one keeping everything in place. If that’s the reason it’s all fallen apart, I’d be very angry indeed. Murdoc, and all of the characters, are the children of Damon, Jamie, Cass, and others involved. They all have a part and a stake in the fate of the characters. I want to think they still believe in a good ending for Murdoc, and that they recognize that his well-being is fundamental to the functioning of the band as a whole. Seeing as they have a whole plot right now about him being imprisoned and the fallout as it relates to the band dynamic, and yet still haven’t addressed any core issues, instead preferring to have 2D and Murdoc hurl childish insults at each other when they could be having Murdoc reflect on Plastic Beach in prison, it makes me wonder tbh. 

It’s just frustrating because Plastic Beach proves they knew and cared. And that they knew how to portray it. Even DoYaThing shows Jamie understood the intricacies of Murdoc and 2D’s abusive relationship and could take it seriously. So why things have all just turned into one big joke now is beyond me. They are capable of excellent, moving storytelling. And not 100% of that was Cass. Even if it was, it’s not rocket science to pick up where he left off. Hell, thousands of fans have and do. I’ll hate seeing all these phase 5 theories that are wonderfully creative and thought-provoking get shot down when the canon turns out to be much less rewarding. I don’t want to be cynical - I should be excited, I just got here! But I’m so used to this from other media, I don’t want to see a repeat of this with another character I’ve become invested in, one that for once has had a shot at redemption and still could. These guys should care about their own characters! Idk how to explain that to them. Like, the fans give so much of a shit because you created these characters that are awesome and deep and charismatic, why are you surprised that we get upset when you try to sabotage your own narrative?

[sometimesrosy]

It seems like you just did the same thing by invalidating Octavia to prop up Bellamy and Clarke. Each of their leading style has flaws. What would you have done in Octavia’s position. Barbaric yes but in my opinion one of her only options.

NO. I did not. I examined your theory and I disproved it with evidence from the text.You tried to say Bellamy and Clarke were bad leaders because Octavia was better. And you blamed them for the actions of OTHERS.  Which is not even what leadership IS.

Your concept didn’t work.

I do not think Octavia did a bad thing with her gladiator fights. I think it was the best thing that SHE personally could have done. She played to her strengths and considered her options. 

If Bellamy and Clarke had been in the bunker, they wouldn’t have lived through bloodsport, because they ARE leaders. And they would have found another way to do it. It probably wouldn’t have been perfect either, because they were in a horrible situation where people had to die. 

Octavia chose to pull on her abilities as A WARRIOR, and gave Wonkru a war to fight. In the gladiator ring. It’s what she had to do to keep them alive. That doesn’t mean there weren’t better choices out there. And it is NOT proof that she is good and Bellamy and Clarke are bad. And I don’t know why you tried to make it so, other than bias. Octavia fell into leadership. Clarke and Bellamy took it on and worked on it and proved themselves and saved everyone multiple times while Octavia told them everything they did sucked. 

Just because I don’t hate Octavia, doesn’t mean I’m going to say she’s a great cupcake. Or even the most important character on the show. That’s still Clarke, and then Bellamy. And THEN Octavia, at about half the importance of Clarke and Bellamy, at least so far. At least according to screen time and story arcs.

And I AM a bellarke blog. I’m telling you right now I won’t accept people coming in here and tearing down Clarke and Bellamy just because they agree with me about negative bias in the fandom about Octavia. There is my bias. I like Bellamy and Clarke. 

I don’t actually like Octavia, and I’ve had to work at it to be objective about her and give her more attention. And I had to stand up to a LOT of really vicious people about their hate of her. I took the heat. I got shitposted for it. I lost friends over it. I got threatened with legal action for it. I got harassed for it. And  YOU benefitted from MY efforts. So if you don’t want to deal with me calling you on YOUR bias, then you should not send it to me.

Bias is bias.

Stick to the text. Don’t make shit up. Don’t start fanwars “They’re wrong, I’m right.” As far as I can tell, both sides are wrong. Because it’s not a competition and Octavia is NEITHER a good guy NOR a bad guy. Or maybe she’s BOTH.

[targsdaenerys]

let me tell you all a story. a story of my experience with ouat.

2012.

in fourth grade, i was watching american idol. during commercials, i viewed a promo consisting of a dragon and unicorns. now, at the time, unicorns were my ver y favorite, so of course, i was intrigued. i told my mom that i heard about a show with unicrons, but that i didnt know what it was called. she told me how she had heard of it and wanted to check it out. after watching the season one interviews between red and snow, she believed it was too old for me. i agreed. no unicorns. not what i was expecting.

2013.

a year passes. fifth grade was a blur, and all i know is that we went to disney. i had no idea what would change since then.

2014.

my friends are suddenly starting to talk about this kid’s eyebrows. how they are “so hot” and “sexy”. she showed me a picture off of robbie kay’s instagram and i laughed. ha, peter pan? whatever.

but then, it started to reoccur each monday, they would talk about it. i actually started to look forward to monday lunch periods. i begged them to discuss what they thought of the episode. once again, i was intrigued. 

so of course, i wanted to see what the fuss was about. whats this big deal with peter pan? and who the hell’s rumple after only a few clips, i suddenly loved snow and charming. i needed more. i needed to watch.

so i tried. desperately.  i only had an ipad, and was unaware it was on netlfix, so i tried to watch the first episode of the series by typing in “once upon a time season 1 episode one online free to any platform.i actually was able to find it and went in excitedly the next day to tell my friends. that was when i learned it was on netflix and thati could not wait to get home and watch it. so i did. but the thing is, i was only there for snow and charming scenes.  i literally only skipped to their scenes. thats how i watched the show.

but then, as i was scrolling around youtube one day looking forsscenes for them, i came across “Emma and Hook Kiss scene” my frirst thought? it was between “ew”and “serioulsy?”

i watched it anyway.

and to behonest, it was kind of just a “okay, that happened” kind of thing. it wasnt until my friend told me after the season 3 finle that emma and hook kissed again before i got alitle excited. not much more, though.

then months pass, and suddenly, scrolling around netflix, i come across the hunger games. i held a grudge against the series since it became big with the popular group in my school that year. but i was thirsty for romance. and i heard it had some.

and thats how i fell in love with everlark. one night. the next morning i started following pages on instagram. i look up the ship on googlge. and tumblr posts pop up. i make a tumblr.

i start to follow pages on there with everlark, but then i start to see things on both platforms. emma and hook. and then, i slowly started to fall in love. not much. i just watch a couple of their scenes during season three, come across their second kiss. getting really, really excitated for the fourth season.

at the point, i had written about two everlark fanfictions. i wanted to write one about emma and hook, but i had no i dea how. or what .

but then tumblr inspired me. to the point where i started to freak out over every episode no matter how small the scenes were. in october of seventh grade, i wrote my first captain swan fanifction. i also drew my first drawing that i never thought i was able to do. sure, it was with a sketchbook my aunt got me in second grade and a #2 pecil, but i believe its still beautiful. it wasnt long after i actually found the name, captain swan, rather than using “kemma” or “killimma”.

2015.

and from there, my obsession sky rocketed. i stayed up until four every night after an episode, despite schol the next morning. i wrote little drabbles that arelong since gone ever since my laptop broke. i drew more drawings, i rewatched every scene until thats all that was in my head.the s4 finale was as hard on me as everyone else, and i tried to write a specualtion fic to the s5 premiere. i neverfinshed. although, looking back at the writing now, i can still feel the pain i was in by it.

and then season five started. again, i freaked out as much as everyone else. every episode. i still remeber the week after the first episode, we lost someone int he fandom. we miss you, love.

and then it was late october.saturday the 22nd, my mom came into my room to ask me if id seen my friend alyssa that day. she was a year older than me, afreshman in highschool. i didnt, so i told her. i didnt ever think what might have been.the following day, i was working at the food pantry when my mom caled me.they had found alyssa. but she wasnt okay.maybe in her mind she may have been the best shes ever been, but to us,she wasnt.

no one else knew, and i had to walk home in silence. i didnt cry because at the time we werent as close as the year before and it didnt hit me.but then my mother’s words repeated in my head. “Alyssa died, sweetie.” it was asentence i never forgot.

im not the best at keeping my emtions with myself. i always think people will judge me and call me selfish if i cry, and i didnt want it to be like that. so i kept it in.i kept the tears in for so, so long, even to the point here i didnt even cry at her wake where she looked like an angel although the scarf around her neck was something shed never wear. and what kept my sanity? once upon a time. it was then when i realized it was my anchor. 

2016.

back in 2015 my mother made me audtion for a vocational school. earlier that year i had found its dance program and wanted to go, but along the way my intrest dwindled. she told me to give it a shot anyway because i had a very low chance of making it in due to my grades at the time. 

i made it in. 

the following months were the worst of my life. every day on the way home from dance wed fight about which high school was better, and although she was right about me going to the vocational one, i wanted to stay in my district. lets just say the only thing that kept me from following alyssa into the darkness was dance competitions. oh, and what else. the damn once upon a time episodes.

she forced me to go to that school, by the way. sure, i enjoy it now, but the people there suck and i still do not like how she went at it.

that fall, i take my friend to our first convention.since i started watching oneupon a time, i wanted others to watch it, and my one friend agreed to. until the end of the neverland arc.  and peter pan died. no more ouat for her. but, since robbie was going to be there, lets go. she got a picture with him, i got a picture with bex. yayay.

2017.

last week, we experienced the best sunday of our life. a wedding we never really thought would happen. it was unbelievable. emma got her happy ending(or beginning) aand we got ours. it was so thrilling that even my friend who stopped watching in season three was excited. but as much as it was unbeliable the night, the following morning was too.

that was the most giddiest i had ever felt for school. every more we have a forty five minute bus ride and the but whole time i listened to the musical on repeat. but then, as i looked down to pause the music as we pulled into school, i saw my friends text. Jen’s facebook post.

i was in a daze all day.

it wasnt until lunch, the last period since it was a half day, where i just broke down. people asked me what was wrong and i explained as best i could, but shitty people have shitty outlooks on things and they didnt understand. it was the loneliest ive ever felt.

my mom kind of comforted me, telling me how she felt the same when parent hood ended and that ill find a new show ill like just the same, but one upon a time is special. no show can replace or even add onto what kind of mark it had left on me. it was what started my career in wririting and drawing. in someways it kept me alive. and what did people do when i told them this? they laughed.

it was tuesday night when i ran down stairs, telling my mom about convention tickets for colin and jen photo op i found on sale. we had them in mind for awhile, but never got them. she told me wed look into it. we missed the sale.

so here we were, here i was, aall i was able to think about was how id never meet the people who played the characters that shaped me and my future. until the next morning, my birthday, where i was given the tickets.

and today,to night, was pretty much the end of the storybook. im not going to go into it because i have it on a post from about an hour ago. but thank you everyone, for helping me be me. and thank you for this blessed oppurtuniy, in which i had never and will never take for granted, to be a part of such a magical communtiy. because of this platform i have aspired my career of writing, drawing, and fulfilling my dreams of being a princess by being able to contact disney about the program.if it wasnt for this damned, beautiful fucking shwow, i would probably bedrastically different. this story we created is timeless, a neverending fairytale in both real life and on screen. the story contiues for ever and ever in our hearts and writing and drawing and all of the incredible talents we all have.