#which I felt was unfair and I really wanted to continue my character's story

[palominodragon]

I have a bizarrely long history of being kicked out of online groups/roleplaying games and then weaseling my way back in. It's a whole thing.

But I was just thinking about it in terms of how autistic people are more likely to ignore rules that seem unnecessary/illogical, and while that hasn't been the reason for all my escapades, it's definitely played a part.

And I guess even when it's not the direct reason, there's still the mindset of "well, I was kicked out for a stupid, unjust reason, so I'm just gonna refuse to accept that."

I can be a real brat about it.

I once hid my identity and continued playing in a game for years after I'd been told I couldn't play the character I wanted to. Did play her. I was just impressively sneaky about it. They only found out after I got bored and started testing how much I could hint before I got caught.

And no, their reason for not letting me play that character never became an issue.

[ladyloveandjustice]

My Favorite Continuing Manga I Read in 2023

I went into the brand new manga I read in this post, but here's an update on some great continuing series!

Shout out to She Loves to Cook and She Loves to Eat for having phenomenal storyline about find the courage to cut toxic family members off, which is pretty rare to see (in manga especially)! The story explores how your family can impose a relationship with food that harms you in many different ways, and how finding acceptance of your food habits helps you heal. It also continues to be a lovely exploration of queer adults finding themselves that makes the point that your experiences don't have to fit in a box.  And I appreciate that they included a character who doesn't like eating that much for me to relate to! See my first review here, 

Now for a quick word about the other great continuing manga I read:

- I Want to be a Wall really upped it's game and included a nuanced discussion about asexuality that I loved seeing. See first review here.

- Yuri is My Job is still the best lesbian drama manga around and hits hard. See previous discussion here,

- A Man and His Cat is still the sweetest and Yona of the Dawn is as action packed and intriguing as ever...I feel a climax slowly coming!

- A Bride’s Story is still wonderfully done historical fiction with lush art while How Do We Relationship continues to develop its web of queer relationships nicely.

- Witch Hat Atelier is still a wondrous story of magic, creativity, accessibility, and struggling under unfair systems, all told in a fascinating fantasy setting with loveable, complex characters and incredible art.

A lot of manga I like concluded this year too, so let's take a slightly longer look at the conclusions!

Dungeon Meshi- The conclusion to one of my favorite fantasy manga ever was fittingly bombastically weird and fully satisfying. It filled you up like good food should. Live well instead of being consumed by fear of death and loss. Eat well instead of working yourself to the bone and neglecting your needs. Follow your own path, but cherish your connections and get together for a good meal. This series and its intricate world and wonderful characters will stay with me for a long time.

Catch These Hands- See my first review here. I enjoyed the cute conclusion to this series, and it was nice to see a little ace rep and a message about not conforming to society's expectations of "adulthood". It's an ode to delinquent girls that a sukeban stan like me can get behind! A lot of the stuff that annoyed me in the second volume was mostly dropped for the third and fourth, so that's also nice.

Run Away With Me Girl- See my first review here. I wish this had been a little longer, but the conclusion worked well and was cathartic.

Doughnuts Under a Crescent Moon- See my first review here. A nice conclusion to a cute, slow-paced little romance series, with yet more ace rep!

The Two of Them are Pretty Much Like This- see my first review here. This conclusion felt a bit rushed, with plot lines still dangling, like it was cancelled early or something. But the series is still good overall, and I'll miss it.

My Love Mix Up -This sweet-as-pie series about cute gay misunderstandings leading to romance comes to a fittingly sweet conclusion. It's sad waving goodbye to these silly, good-hearted kids, but I'm satisfied with where they ended up.

[nasgard]

I wouldn't have minded Viren's death the way it happened if it had occurred later. Maybe in the final season, but here it unfortunately left me feeling betrayed and disappointed.

I know the intention was to show that he was finally being completely selfless and humble, sacrificing his own life to save the people of the kingdom. But the way it happened, the journey leading up to his death, just seemed cruel and unfair to me. Especially when I think about everything that happened in his life.

First, we know that his journey to darkness began precisely because he used dark magic to save his son's life. He used dark magic to save others and to serve the king. In other words, he spent his entire life destroying his own body and soul to save other people's lives, to feed the people of two entire kingdoms because somehow their rulers were incompetent to do so in the first place. So, once again, he destroys his body and soul and ends his life to save people who are okay with dark magic being useful to them once again but still continue to hate whoever uses it.

Moreover, he is forced into this when he said he wouldn't do it anymore, when he finally felt free from it. And he dies repeating that he is a servant. Again, I understand the intention of showing that he is no longer selfish and power-hungry, but when I remember that his hunger for power came from the insecurity of being someone without importance and value, seeing him die saying that was very sad. As if he, a servant, could never be anything else.

So, no, I didn't like Viren's ending as it was done.

Honestly, I find myself wishing he had died at the end of Season 3 because it feels like all his development in the last two seasons was thrown away and served no purpose. Because if Viren remained dead and Claudia still chose to follow Aaravos, Soren doesn't discover the truth, then what was the point of bringing Viren back to life? What was the point of him being, as far as we know, the only person ever resurrected? What was the point of him being able to see a vision of himself from the future and the past? Why did he have visions of Aaravos' mirror? And his constant visions with Claudia? That obvious connection to the Star Arcanum served no purpose?

Besides, knowing the true reason for Aaravos' revenge plans simply makes the way he dealt with Viren, Claudia, and Sir Sparklepuff in the last three seasons very, very strange. And here, I'm not judging the character but the writers who crafted this confusing plot. Because noticing the similarities between Viren's and Aaravos' stories, I don't see why Aaravos didn't reveal that to Viren. I know that if he had treated Viren as he did in Seasons 2 and 3, he would have convinced Viren to stay on his side. But instead, Aaravos pushed Viren to a complete breakdown, to the point of wanting to give up dark magic.

And what was that about Lissa not wanting to shed a single damn tear to save her own son? Honestly, the revelation that Viren had to pull her hair to get the tear to save THEIR SON, when Viren had already made the greater sacrifice with his own body and soul, didn't make me mad at Viren, it made me mad at her. She even abandoned the kids afterward, and Viren is the only terrible parent here?

All that being said, Viren was my favorite character because he was the most complex, the most real, and the best written. With him dead, I've lost interest in continuing to watch the show, which is really a shame.

[chatonarya]

Now that it's been a few days, I can gather my thoughts and write a more proper impression of The Rides to Lake Silberneherze (RS). I'll preface by saying, if it's not obvious by now, that Break The Ice (BI) was my favorite Arknights story, and I both anticipated and slightly dreaded the continuation of that storyline, as I felt the plot of BI ended so neatly that for a while I genuinely did not know how the writers could possibly follow up on it. When RS was first announced and released on CN six months ago, most of my fears were assuaged by the event's tone and overall opinions and hearsay from the CN side. What followed was then six months of great anticipation and excitement, and at long last, having read RS, I am extremely happy to say that it met my hopes and expectations in the best of ways. Spoilers below the cut.

Plot-wise, it felt rather similar to BI in that it's fairly self-contained, which is something I enjoyed. Despite the fact that much of the plot revolves around the Victorian presence in Kjerag and the Caster connection which was foreshadowed a while ago, the story still feels as though it's about Kjerag's problems and the Kjerag characters, as opposed to ZH where Federico and Arturia aren't even Leithanian. The external elements do not overwhelm the internal ones and the focus remains on the Kjerag cast, though Kjerag's problems are shifting somewhat now from their internal conflicts to external ones as they open up and begin to connect to other nations, but it's well-handled. As the clans get along and unite, naturally now they turn their eyes outward, and though the internal rivalry doesn't fully disappear, it's more tempered and friendly now rather than destructive.

Speaking of which, it was great to see the three clans getting along and working together with minimal vitriol. Ratatos shares information and resources with Enciodes and Gnosis, and Project One clearly appears to be a collaborative effort between the Browntails and Karlan Trade; they've clearly made amends from the events of BI where it was revealed that Ratatos and Enciodes really weren't so different. Though the Paleroches remain Kjerag's conservative faction, they don't seem to be quite as unfriendly to outsiders as before, particularly as part of their former attitude is explained with Arctosz's backstory and relationship with Tatyana (though admittedly we don't see much of the Paleroches this time other than Arctosz and his father).

I really also enjoyed seeing how the characters have developed since BI. It feels as if they've all changed, for the better, as if they've taken the lessons and experiences of BI to heart. Ratatos now shares more of her work with Sciurus; Sciurus is no longer as short-sighted; the Browntails and the Silverashes are properly collaborating; the Paleroches are less violent and suspicious, though maybe it's unfair to say that when Arctosz has his own arc that he goes through. Enciodes is no longer quite as reserved as before, seeming to delegate more of his responsibilities to others rather than attempting to "shoulder all of Kjerag" by his lonesome; Gnosis, too, has mellowed slightly in his time away and isn't quite as sharp-tongued or hot-tempered, not to mention Gnosis taking Degenbrecher's comments about both of them communicating poorly to heart in the end and not only thanking Enciodes for sharing his thoughts but telling Enciodes what he knows he wants to hear. Enciodes and Enya also both slip more into something like bickering siblings, both admitting that they don't actually disagree on that many things regarding Kjerag's development, but though it's clear that they're still going to butt heads in the future due to their different attitudes, their relationship is no longer beyond repair. Kjera showing more of her human side with her annoyance about her statue was very funny as well, further expanding her mischievous streak from before.

It was also lovely to see everyone again, even the minor characters like Valais and Gulo when they appear (however briefly). I'd also be remiss if I didn't say how much I was utterly charmed by the burdenbeasts, from their adorable appearances to their intelligence to how intertwined they are with the Kjerag people. (It's easy to see how Harold became a Kjeragaboo, shall we say.)

The highlight for me of course was the Karlan Trio. I think my favorite scene is the one at the end of RS-ST-2, where they're sitting about in the Karlan Trade lobby. I don't think I have enough words of praise to describe how wonderful it was to see the three of them letting down their guards, their facades, whatever pretense they wear for the outside world and just cracking in-jokes with each other, bickering affectionately, and laughing. The idea that the three of them are actually good friends beneath everything is something that I've long speculated on ever since BI, and to receive confirmation of it like this is more than I ever hoped for. And not just in this scene, but even in the smaller interactions and during the climax, where both Enciodes and Gnosis are openly worried about Degenbrecher, their friendship shone through, even though they often express themselves in a roundabout and tsundere way to each other.

The "miracle" at the end contrasts very much so with the one in BI, in a positive way. While in BI, Kjera is the one who uses her power to clear the clouds and aid Enya's descent to avert war, here it's quite clear that this time, the miracle was created by all the people themselves, working together and united, further underscored by Enya's comments about not wanting to rely on Kjera's miracles to always save them. It's another point that shows how not just the characters have grown, but it feels like Kjerag as a nation has grown, too.

The antagonists were also great. Harold's great reluctance to fulfill his duty as he becomes more and more absorbed in Kjerag's culture and society was good, as was his overall character as a cheery and talkative dandy; I have a great weakness for dandy characters, and he's just as fun as I hoped he was. His interactions with the whole cast were absolutely delightful. Trilby Asher's experiences as the great punching bag was downright hilarious as he was stymied at every turn, intentionally or not, by everything and everyone around him. I can't say I felt too sorry for him given that he acts more of a villain than Harold does, but the sheer comedic nature of his chase with Degenbrecher kept it funny and not cruel.

And of course, I must mention Leto. I had no prior knowledge or experience of her, but her headstrong, fierce independence and good nature won me over. I enjoyed her journey and her relationship with both Arctosz and Harold.

Finally, I must of course mention the one and only Black Knight, Madam Degenbrecher. She was perhaps my most anticipated character to be released from NPC jail, and I was incredibly eager and curious to learn more about her and her life. RS did not disappoint: it gave us an incredibly clear picture of the type of person she is, expanding on everything that was hinted about her in the past, from her forceful no-nonsense attitude in battle to her laidback nature away from the battlefield, to her dislike of people who chatter too much to her hidden humorous streak. Somewhere along the way while I was admiring fanart, I picked up the habit of calling her "Sister", as many of the CN fans do, and now I see that it truly is the perfect moniker for her. She truly is everyone's reliable and steadfast big sister. The way it's shown that she's truly of Kjerag now and one of them is so heartwarming, especially given her background as a destitute, nameless, homeless nobody. She has found her home, a place where she is loved and accepted, and a place that she's willing to put her life on the line to defend. It's just lovely.

Tangentially related, RS being a more light-hearted and borderline-comedic story overall was a very welcome change of pace. While I don't mind AK's generally grittier and bleaker stories, I think RS had a good balance between drama and seriousness and comedy and shenanigans. As I said earlier, I wasn't sure how the writers would follow up on BI, and I was in fact slightly worried that the overwhelming positive ending of BI would, in the continuation, take a downward turn into something that matched the overall grim tone. The fact that it did not is something that I'm happy about; call me biased, but I'm glad to see my favorite characters having a little breather episode.

Finally, I appreciated how the foreign elements were introduced at the end; again, they did not overwhelm the rest of the story, while also clearly leading into the future third installment. But this obvious sequel hook did nothing to diminish the ending, and I very much look forward to the next story and how it will mesh with other factions and conflicts. The Kjerag storyline crossing over with that of Rhine Lab was not something I anticipated but I have confidence that it will be handled with similar skill and aplomb after RS, and perhaps even will receive the prestigious anniversary/half anniversary treatment.

Overall, I don't really think there's anything in RS that I'm dissatisfied or disappointed with. It was thoroughly enjoyable, I laughed very hard multiple times, the plot was well-paced, all the characters were well-developed. Per my introduction, Break The Ice has long since been my favorite AK story, and I believe it's quite fitting that the one that's going to supplant it is its sequel, The Rides to Lake Silberneherze.

[literary-illuminati]

Book Review 49 – Some Desperate Glory by Emily Tesh

Introduction

I forget who initially recommended me this book, but I owe them an incredible debt. Really the only disappointing thing is that I hadn’t heard of it even sooner, as this really is just perfectly tailored to appeal to me specifically. First science fiction/fantasy novel I can remember reading in a long time that I actively wished was longer. As a testament to how much I liked this book – this review is long enough to need subheadings.

So! Some Desperate Glory is a space opera, following Kyr (Valkyr, technically), a 17-year-old cadet and genetically enhanced ‘warbreed’ golden girl of Gaea Station – that being the quasi-fascist statelet of militant dead-enders who fled to a desolate planetoid in a dead system to continue the war after aliens destroyed the earth/most of humanity. After she gets assigned to Nursery (read: breeding the next generation of soldiers) instead of a combat wing and has a crisis of faith, she talks herself into running away to help her brother on the suicide mission terrorist attack he was deployed on. With the help of one of her brother’s friends and a captured alien, she manages it, discovers that her brother had absolutely no intention of actually following orders once he’d made it out, and take it upon herself to do her own, better, terrorism. From there the plot gets weird, and I’m going to spoil it shamelessly talking about it, but if you value surprises when reading at all just stop this review and go read it.

The Heroine

Kyr is, and I say this lovingly, the most insufferable bitch of a 17-year-old military brat I’ve ever spent time in the head of (at least at first). Even compared to the other indoctrinated child soldiers she’s the cop nobody likes. She then spends the first third to half of the book unlearning this indoctrination, by which I mean very arduously and painfully reaching a point of ‘the fascist cult was a corruption and black mark on the good name of the death cult vengeful crusade, I’ll do it better’ and ‘it’s probably okay to not, like, personally hate aliens who were too young to have been alive when the earth was destroyed. Torturing them for no reason is wrong, like abusing animals was, back when there were animals’. She spends the entire book expecting on a bone-deep level to get herself killed for the cause, and at the end of the book is only like 10% of the way better (one of the last beats in the entire story is, standing with one of her only friends and sure they’re both about to run out of life support, offering to snap their neck for them because ‘asphyxiation’s a nasty way to go’). Whenever she is confronted with the idea that some people aren’t constantly aware of the possibility of physical violence or get to live their lives as something other than a bullet in the gun seeking vengeance for a dead planet she wants to scream and smash things at the unfairness of it all. I adore her.

Honestly my only real complaint is how quickly she starts mellowing out in the second and third acts of the story. There’s extenuating circumstances (whole extra life of memories, time loop bullshit, forcibly confronted with what she said she wanted and what it looks like, etc), but past the one real big hump it did rather feel like her character development suddenly became a bit smooth and easy/. This is one of the things I’m talking about when I say I wish the book was longer – everything after the first big climax and the time travel/universe editing felt kind of rushed and abbreviated.

As far as being a #problematic fave goes, Kyr was also very carefully kept from being, like, directly personally culpable for anything really unforgivable. Which I do understand why from a wanting people to sympathize with the racist homophobic fascist child soldier, but like – you’ve already introduced time travel and retroactivity. C’mon, don’t get cold feet now. Let her and Avi really share the ‘killed trillions in a universe that retroactively never happened’ credit.

Also, and entirely tangentially – you know how in a lot of action shows, the hero has incredibly emotionally tense rivalries and/or camaraderie with other guys, and then also an extremely conventionally feminine girlfriend off to the side somewhere who does like two things in the entire story and mostly seems to exist to prove he’s straight? Kyr has that, except she is textually gay (if incredibly repressed about it and like 90% of the way to asexual in terms of libido). Sorry Lis, but you are literally barely a character. Cleo’s right there, and already has a personality that’s more than two bullet points and is actually involved in the plot in ways beyond ‘love interest’.

Gaea Station

The shitty fascist asteroid habitat that Kyr grew up on is (if barely) the primary setting of the story, and as far as portrayals of incredibly unbalanced and fundamentally broken society just full of cultlike and ultranationalist neuross. I kind of love it as a dystopian setting, though I feel like the author kind of over-egged the pudding on it by the end of the book.

Society is organized into what feels like an intentional parody of a lot of YA dystopia setups, where you live in a tightly integrated mess all through adolescence (each with their own heraldic animal to idenity with!) but then at 17 your exams determine the branch of society you will be assigned to for the rest of your life to do your duty for humanity. Of course, unlike most YA dystopias, the System isn’t the result of some leviathan-state ruling the fates of millions or a tradition that’s going back generations upon generations – it’s a ramshackle mess that can barely consistently feed its warrior elites enough protein slop to take advantage of their genetically engineered hormone levels for muscle growth. It’s all so clearly and intentionally artificial and fake that it loops around to feeling extremely realistic.

Also do love how the elder generation all have names like Joel or Ursa or Elena, while the younger generation are all Valkyr and Magnus and Avicenna and Zenobia. The only really surprising thing is that they don’t specifically call out how children are raised in common and without individual families as following Plato’s Republic – it’s exactly the sort of attempt to create a grand unifying mythology for all of Earth’s true and vengeful children.

I really do wish Tesh had trusted the reader a bit more about it, though. Like, we can tell that almost all the names of the younger generation are either historical figures form the Mediterranean/Greco-Roman world or Norse mythology (with a few exceptions like Avicenna who fit the general aesthetic if not those exact conditions), which puts a bit of a lie to the whole ‘pan-human’ bit. It’s a clever bit of characterization through worldbuilding! You don’t need to call it out twice in dialogue between characters and then again in an in-universe scholarly essay excerpt at the start of a chapter. I can’t complain too badly though, she’s really not even close to being the worst for that I’ve read recently.

One thing I did like especially because I don’t think it was ever called out and brought front and centre is just the sort of, like, perfect irony of both Kyr and her brother Magnus – ‘warbreed’ engineered supersoldiers with physical capabilities beyond any baseline human, blonde aryan ubermensch, the golden children and eugenic future of Gaea Station/true humanity – both being queer and totally unsuited to their assigned gender roles. If it was, like, specifically brought up in a big monologue as disproof of the Gaean ideology or something it’d feel much too on the nose, but as just a set of facts underlying the characterization of the protagonists I liked it quite a lot.

Trio Dynamics

They don’t actually have all that much pagecount spent together, now that I think about it, but as far as I’m concerned the absolute heart of the story is the dynamic between Kyr, Avi (Avicenna, genius-level hacker and cynical rat bastard discontented Gaea Station restaurant) and Yiso (young and rebellious Prince of the Wisdom, taken captive by Gaea when they’re personal ship came too close and then liberated/kidnapped by the other two in their escape attempt). It’s peak trauma-bonding in that the first time it involves a) Avi torturing Yiso to force the alien supercomputer to let him access it and b) Kyr shooting Avi in the head after he uses access to the supercomputer to wipe out 90% of galactic civilization as payback for the whole ‘destroyed Earth with an antimatter missile’ thing (she got a case of morals when confronted with what ‘winning’ would mean. Also her brother shooting himself.)

By all rights they should absolutely hate each other and after two temporal recursions and oceans of retroactively unspilled blood on all their hands they’re the only people who even slightly understand each other. At one point Kyr tells Yiso ‘just so you know, I don’t really care about you as a person,’ and then immideately thinks ‘that was a lie. Why did I say that?’ Avi and Kyr both deprogram themselves from the cult that raised them but only the ‘loyalty to the cult’ bits and not the ‘alien race war vengance death cult’ bits. Yiso meets Kyr in an atemporal training simulation and gets retroactive Stockholm syndrone even though the first time they actually meet she breaks their ribs for repressed teenager reasons. They all drive me absolutely insane and I absolutely adore them. Even if Avi’s redemption felt waaaaay too rushed and unjustified in the final recursion, willing to forgive it here.

Time Loops

The big twist of the story is that, having fucked up and enabled Avi taking vengeance for Earth by doing the same thing to every other alien species, Kyr jumps into the alien supercomputer time manipulation buisness wholesale and goes back to prevent the destruction of Earth. Which then fast forwards to her being a newly minted officer in the Terran Expeditionary Fleet that is the imperial power dominating the known galaxy in increasingly high-collateral damage ways as time goes on. Yiso, in this timeline the beating heart and soul of the main alien resistance group, seeks her out and restores her memories and they go back to try and hijack the alien supercomputer before the government office whose hijacked its crippled remnants (as helmed by the alternate-timeline version of Gaea Station’s great leader, now a fleet admiral of the ‘Providence’ division) manage to literally destroy the universe.

It is mostly down to all the fanfic I’ve read, but I really, really adore timeline divergences that ropagate out and leave all the major characters different but similar people in alien yet appropriate situations. I also adore time travel stories about someone turning the timeline into swiss cheese trying to brute force their way to the one and only golden ending. So I adore this whole conceit. Really my only complaint is that there were only two (one and a half, really) recursions. Not that I’m demanding a full groundhog day here. But, like, it’d have been nice. And Kyr/Avi/Yiso continuously bumping into each other in different configurations and usually ending up at gunpoint would have been ann absolutely amazing bit.

Space Orcs

I can’t be sure Tesh actually had any exposure to the whole online meme of ‘humans as space orcs’, but I do and it’s really impossible to read the book as anything but an examination of the idea. Compared to every alien species ever encountered, humans are tall, heavy, muscular, impulsive, and violent. In a one-on-one confrontation they’ll snap any other species’ neck. The very first pages of the book are an excerpt from an in-universe text writing for an aliens about how actually really humans are very intelligent, and then talking about how threat displays and ‘human culture’. In the original timeline they even fit into the usual social niche of orcs in a lot of fantasy these days – the scattered and diminished remnants of a brutal empire that was defeated and mostly-exterminated in their attempts to conquer the universe.

The book’s handling of this doesn’t really have a point, as far as I can tell – the worldbuilding’s sufficiently divorced from anything real that trying to call it a commentary on racism or genocide or conquering empires is a stretch. (It is after all a fundamental point of the book that the obliteration of earth and extermination of the vast majority of humanity really was the only way the Wisdom could prevent the Terran Federation from conquering the known galaxy. Which is I’m extremely sure not something the author intends to be a historical analogy.) I found it a fun bit of worldbuilding and interesting subversion of normal space opera tropes regarding humanity’s relative abilities, anyway.

Theodicy

Is an incredibly pretentious way to title this section, but also in a sense kind of the core of the book’s plot? In an interesting way, and I think it’s really the book’s greatest weakness that it doesn’t explore or grapple with it enough.

Which is to say – the Wisdom is at the heart of galactic civilization. It’s an alien AI with vague but vast (though limited) reality-warping and precognitive powers. It does not rule the civilizations that accept it, but guides them as a benevolent god towards best, happiest outcomes with whatever support they ask for or need. To determine what ‘best’ means, it creates its Princes, vat-grown heirs to the dead species that created it, with a lifespan of millenia spent going through simulations and interacting with the world to provide the data and decision-making it requires to make that sort of strategic decision.

The Terran Federation’s attempt to reverse-engineer or hijack the Wisdom put it in a situation where the only solution its princes could find was to destroy the better part of humanity and even more of their industry and culture. Through the plot of the first acts of the book, Kyr and her genius-level-hacker friend hijack a node of it and Kyr convinces/forces it to accept her decision-making instead of its prince (who they just killed). This results in an explicitly colonialist human empire ruling over aliens as oppressed subjects, and using the half-wrecked and poorly understood Wisdom to eliminate threats before they occur (shunting the reality backlash off to alien worlds they don’t care about). The next acts of the book mostly resolve around fixing or reverting this, and end with Kyr diving back into a node and having another conversation with it.

A conversation which is basically it giving up. It reverts things back to the human-genocide timeline, then shuts down its infrastructure and goes dark, leaving the entire mostly pacifistic and loosely governed galactic civilization it had protected suddenly on its own. Humanity were such assholes we found a loving god and then convinced it to kill itself.

Which, like, could 100% totally work. As far as high concept short story prompts go its incredible. But as far as actually driving the action goes the Wisdom is the one who makes the most important deciisons in the entire book, and determine the entire shape of the plot. For it to land, it really really needed more than two and a half short conversations on screen, at least to me.

TL:DR

Good book, lesbian doing space atrocities, should have been longer.

[thefandomenchantress]

I’ve seen a lot of people condemning Hu for her actions towards Nico.

Which is understandable. At this point in the story, we’ve just recently started to see that her treatment of them tends to lean less towards friendly guidance and more towards babying them (Her cutting them off, and telling them that they’re just confused). In the trial, she admits that her main goal in life is to be useful. To be needed. And this undoubtedly carries over into her friendship with Nico.

It wouldn’t be completely honest to say that none of what Hu does, like her wanting to take care of others, relates to her need to be useful. While I think it’s a little unfair to say Hu doesn’t do what she does because she cares for others, and that she instead does it in order to strengthen her self-worth, I also think it’s unfair to ignore that part of her character.

But why am I saying all of this? I’m sure plenty of people have covered this topic before. Well, here’s the thing. I don’t really love how Hu is singled out in the what-she-does-isn’t-100%-selfless department.

I think it’s understandable why she’s so easily singled out, since the most recent episode made this part of her character extremely visible:

It’s abundantly clear that this is where Hu’s character arc is going. Whether she doubles down or reflects on her behavior is still up in the air.

But I think when people saw all that, they jumped to the conclusion that someone helping others partially for their own sake was a character flaw specific to Hu. I don’t agree, though.

We’re here to talk about Levi.

Ah, yes, the Ace-Nico parallels continue. But in all seriousness, I often see people debating over this part of Hu’s character. Hell, I even wrote a fic primarily about it. I haven’t, however, seen anyone talk about how Levi…Also kinda does this?

Levi wants to be a good person. He wants to be seen as a good person, he wants to be someone people can rely on for protection. The chapter is even named after his desire for this.

And maybe it’s just me…But I think that desire carries over to his friendship with Ace, just like how Hu’s desire to be useful carries over to her friendship with Nico.

Levi wants Ace to forgive him so badly. Why? Why? Honestly, it’s a question that kind of bothers me, because…

…This breakdown just doesn’t feel spontaneous to me. It feels like the entire chapter (and prologue) was leading up to it. Levi, in this moment of stress, is finally fed up with Ace, enough so that he even threatens his life.

As we’ve seen before, Levi doesn’t usually get this emotionally charged. The only way for this to happen is for these feelings of his to have been building up for a long time.

Which returns us to our question: If Levi doesn’t even seem to like Ace that much, then why does he want Ace to forgive him so badly?

It isn’t because he valued his and Ace’s friendship to an astronomical degree, (a friendship that only lasted less than a week), it’s because Ace not forgiving Levi makes Levi feel like a bad person.

He needs Ace to forgive him, to say that it’s okay and that he knows deep down Levi is a good person and didn’t mean it. Otherwise he’s stuck feeling guilty and like all the progress he’s been making towards his goal of being good is gone.

One could even say that feeling like a good person was Levi’s motivation to be friends with Ace in the first place, because let’s face it. I love Ace, I really do. And I don’t blame him for not wanting to forgive Levi immediately. If someone threatened my life like that, I’d probably need a week or maybe more to recover before wanting to forgive them. But not wanting to forgive Levi isn’t quite the equivalent to the way Ace treats Levi, even before Levi threatens him. Why would Levi genuinely want to spend so much time around a person who, in simple terms, treats him like shit?

The answer may be that being friends with Ace, someone who he thought needed protection, felt like the right thing to do. It felt like what a good person would do. They would put up with Ace’s antics in order to help him, even if it wasn’t much fun.

I’m very aware that this is an…Uncharitable look at Levi’s character. A pessimistic analysis on why he does what he does. But I believe that if we’re going to condemn Hu, maybe we should consider Levi’s actions as well.

I’m not trying to say that what Levi and Hu do is the same. But they are comparable. In the end, it feels like neither do what they do purely because they care and want to protect others. Hu wants to be useful, Levi wants to be good. And they act accordingly.

Hopefully all this makes sense. I just wanted to share a take I had on an issue I’ve seen floating around. If you want to share your thoughts on this I’d love to hear them. I’m curious to see what people think about this, since I haven’t seen people talk about it before.

[hiraunia]

With the final chapter of TCWKTM by @crinklytinfoil upcoming I have decided to celebrate with more doodles. YAY!

(Did I say upcoming, I meant release. Apperently I posted this 3 minutes after the last chapter updated)

I don't know why I have decided that Shrike always wears those night vision goggles(?) now but they look cool at least(GOD I LOVE THEM).

I think I've finally gotten a hang of Dani's hairstyle for my design which is a blessing because in order from the easiest to hardest hair texture to draw is Coily>Straight>Locs>Wavy>Braids>Curly with a jump of times 4 from braids to curly(My hubris for giving Cyan short curly hair has and will continue to keep biting me in the ass).

Speaking of Cyan, I've also updated him. He always has eye bags now cause he feels tired now, more so than the start of the fic at least. Since, unless I've missed something, he's still wearing Black's suit I felt I should make it a part of his outfit. One of the issues I was having when I drew him though was that we still call him Cyan but he wasn't wearing cyan anymore which is an issue when I read the story but when I drew him it just felt odd. My solution to that hangup of mine was to keep the suit and belt black’s but give him the gloves and boots so there's at least some cyan still on him since I don't think it was ever stated that Johnny cut those off, there wouldn't be a reason to and they would fit him better than Johnny's anyways. He also isn’t wearing his backpack thing or helmet(not that I ever drew anyone with theirs anyways) since I figured they probably lost it or some shit. In this pic no one is wearing theirs but that’s just because I wanted them to look like they were chilling, Cyan straight up doesn’t have his.

Funnily enough this is the one that took the least amount of time to make, I started it yesterday and finished it like now though I do attribute that to a stroke of sudden inspiration that I was able to draw in my sketchbook so honestly most of the work was the coloring.

Drawing these guys just kinda being silly is so fun it's unfair, especially Purple. This man has done so much bullshit, I should shoot him on sight but the moment I pick up my pen he appears, the motherfucker! A pretty fun aspect of these purple are, as you can see, he's using Grey's skin. While I'm pretty sure in the story he looks the exact same I figured it would be more fun for drawing purposes to mix the two of them together to create some distinction rather than just drawing Grey with a purple suit.

My design for Grey had him as average height but more stout(at least comparatively for my artstyle) while Purple was a little more scrawny and tall which worked well for what I wanted to do. His bangs are center parted when Grey's bangs are gathered in the center. Also I drew their expressions differently, when it's Purple I draw his more bitter/sour, I decided that most of his expressions are squinty and tend to furrow the brows while Grey's are more, I'm not sure how to put it, genuine?

As you can probably tell I really enjoy trying to come up with the character's designs myself but I know when to throw in the towel and admit someone did better than me. I tried to come up with a design for Olive/Finch myself but I just could not come up with one I liked even equally let alone more than @krysmcscience 's design. They really captured their energy well so I’m just using theirs.

Ayy, I drew my take on good old Johnny boy. I think I did a pretty good job making him look older without him becoming a mass of wrinkles.

Drawing Flayer's ship was pretty fun, I've been trying to draw backgrounds and objects more so it was good practice. We obviously don't know what it actually looks like yet other than it is made of flesh and metal so I definitely had to just make shit up. For these bitches sake I hope it's bigger than what I designed because it is going to suck otherwise. Just as I'm typing this I kinda already wanna redesign it though.

I went for something more simple based of the premise that ships are complicated and difficult to make; the whole thing is kinda supposed to look like the flesh is doing a lot of the work to keep it together to compensate for a lack of technical knowledge and skill but just now I remembered that Flayer was the head of the mechanics so she almost certainly has more than enough knowledge and experience to make a good ship on her own even without the flesh. Oh well, I can redesign it when we learn more. I'm keeping its face though, the face was a completely but incredibly happy accident.

Also, I find it interesting that the Imposter’s missions are usually about them destroying biomechanical technology but one of Flayer's named imposter abilities is to use her genetic material to create machinery that fuses artificial and organic material.

Bounus Doodles!

I'm pretty sure these were all drawn sometime before the new year but they were all I had and I didn't want to post one image of doodles so enjoy them now.

While I am still proud of Brown and Devon making out I think my favorite doodle here is Cyan and his judgmental ass face. Why is he staring at Finch like, he is not in any position to but judging like that.

I also borrowed Kry's designs for Red and Umber, I couldn't help myself for Umber, it was just too perfect!

Not sure how I feel about my take on Skeld!White(Finnegan I CANT-). I'm not sure if it's just I'm so used to seeing Kry's design that anything else feels weird or just that I made him too baby faced and princessy. I tend to draw men that are very pretty and feminine so I think I went overboard when I tried my hand since he was usually described similar to how I would normally design a man.

[oneatlatime]

The Chase part 2

Apologies for the technical problems. Battery power must be conserved for necessities, which unfortunately does not include Avatar. But the power's back on now, so!

Picking up from Toph treating a senior citizen like a snooker ball...

I do like how Mai's not shy about participating in Ty Lee's nonsense.

The way Zuko Jr. says "I'll follow this trail" is very menacing.

We're continuing last week's cowboy theme.

This village has the same menacing single windchime as the village in the Spirit World Part One did.

This was may more satisfying than I was expecting! It was completely unfair how easily the Fire Nation ladies defeated Sokka & Katara so getting Appa'd was a nice payoff.

No disability unmocked this episode. Also nice stance from the lizard.

This whole scene with Toph and Iroh has the most beautiful backgrounds. I sense phone wallpapers in my future.

Forget about the visuals, every line of this exchange was golden. Two towering pillars of wisdom and emotional maturity meet for tea and not a soul goes untouched. Also a nice moment of calm in an otherwise frantic episode.

Can this PLEASE be the rock bottom for Zuko. I can only take so much more second hand embarrassment.

Fully-provisioned princess of the fire nation v. sleep-deprived half trained avatar v. starving outlaw who seems to have forgotten to bring his swords, the only weapon he's good at. Place your bets, folks!

Zuko in a nutshell.

Ok so we're getting the whole gang back together.

The whole whole gang.

The whole whole whole gang.

How the hell did they mess up six on one?!?!

A princess can't surrender with honour when she doesn't have any!

That was kind of Katara to offer to help. I didn't expect that.

Final Thoughts

This episode doesn't let up once. Even the break with Toph and Iroh having tea doesn't do much to dispell the rising tension from the chase. The musical stinger that plays over the title card was a surprise bit of foreshadowing in that way.

That tank thing was neat. Shame about what it contained, but that's a really cool design.

Poor Appa was once again the MVP this episode. It was uncomfortable watching him get so exhausted.

It seems like the thin veneer of level-headedness cultivated by Katara over the last season or so is indeed quite thin. It was interesting to see how the different characters reacted to being tired. Sokka was alternatively amped up and completely chilled out, Aang got quiet (until he felt Appa was being insulted), Katara reverted to her early season one characterisation. It's hard to say with Toph, because we've only known her one episode (it feels like more) but I think she just got more Toph-like.

Please let this be the end in Zuko's experiment with independence. He's not good at it. He needs uncle. Points for trying, but he failed, so please bring uncle back.

Sokka low key wins this episode. He's the one with sense, the only one who stays clear-headed when it counts, and it turns out that clear head of his can defeat the pokey thing Ty Lee does.

I don't know how much time is supposed to have passed between picking up Toph and the start of this episode, but I can't help but feel that Toph really got the short end of the stick here. She did give up everything, even if much of what she gave up was not that great for her personally. And in return she got to travel in a way that completely blinds her and get yelled at. Meeting Iroh was a nice consolation prize.

Now I kind of want a story where Toph doesn't come back to the Gaang and instead goes around unleashing bending hell on the earth kingdom.

Was there no b plot or c plot this episode? Everything kind of collided in the final couple of scenes, which I did not see coming.

Frantic is the word I keep coming back to for this episode. Everything fit together nicely. I'll definitely rewatch it when I have the chance to do so in one sitting, without unforseen technical problems.

[sleepyhollands]

important

hi my loves. as many of you know, i’ve been sleepyhollands on tumblr since 2020. since then, i’ve written fanfiction about tom holland and co., peter parker, and harry styles. most recently (and i say this loosely because this was a year ago) i posted a demon!harry blurb that received a lot of attention, and i announced it would become a mini-series. however, after much deliberation, i’ve decided against moving forward with writing on tumblr altogether.

i didn’t come to this decision lightly, because i feel like i have so much left to create, and the fanfiction community i run in has been so lovely and supportive of me over the years. i also feel guilt over letting go of a project i promised to complete. but at the end of the day, i know this is the right choice for me.

there’s a few reasons. for starters, i feel as though my life is really fast-paced at the moment (and for the foreseeable future), and i don’t quite have time to write in day to day life. for a couple years now, every time i’ve sat down to start writing, it’s felt like a chore. for the demon!harry mini-series, i wrote (i kid you not) at least 20 drafts of the first chapter, which is why i kept promising the release “soon,” but it never came. it felt so forced each time i read it back, and once i realized i had fallen out of love with writing, i knew i would never end up finishing the series. so i figured it would be best to not start it at all for the sake of saving everyone from a story they would never know the end of.

additionally, i’ve lost interest in the people i’ve written about. that’s not to say i don’t love them as people/characters and won’t continue to support them in their careers, i just don’t feel motivated to create or consume content about them anymore. again, it feels more like something i have to do rather than something i want to do, and that’s no fun for anyone.

finally, and i truly hate to say this… i’ve honestly come to dislike what reading and writing fanfiction has come to. now, i’d like to make it very clear that i am not attacking any creators either on tumblr, wattpad, or ao3. i love all my mutuals and the writers i consume content from. that being said, this new culture of “social media alternate universes,” “text message alternate universes,” and my least favorite: capitalizing on fanfiction through patreon or other related sites has just made me less and less inclined to engage in the fanfiction community.

our generation is so phone/social media-oriented that it’s made its way into the content i’d prefer to just read. and if that’s your cup of tea, that’s totally fine! consume whatever content you enjoy, seriously. but i don’t get fulfillment from reading make-believe text threads or instagram posts, and i’m noticing it more and more, to the point where blocking tags such as “#smau” just isn’t cutting it anymore.

and the patreon thing…. listen, i get that we live in a world where people are just trying to make money in any way they can. i’m not judging in the slightest. it’s hard out here, i understand. that being said, the beauty and allure of fanfiction to me is that it’s free— it’s pure and accessible to everyone. and i’ve found that i’m simply not willing to spend money on a non-essential product i used to be able to consume free of cost. i mean that in the least petty way possible, truly. i’m not calling it immoral, or a scam, or unfair for creators to earn money for their work. i just miss when everything around me wasn’t subscription based, and now that even fanfiction can cost money, i’ve developed a bit of an aversion to it.

(as a quick, unrelated side note, i’d like to mention that the fanfiction circles i’m in are all hyper-fixating on tropes i’m really not into, such as heavy bdsm-centered content, major age gaps, dad’s best friend, best friend’s dad, etc., and this is making it hard to continue engaging with them and their content. while i will always love and support the writers on this site, i want to avoid coming across this content entirely.)

all of this to say, i’m not sure if i’ll keep this account. i’m not planning on leaving tumblr, but i’m heavily debating deleting this account and creating a new one for a fresh start. that, or i’ll leave this up and move to a new account. i’m not sure yet. in any case, i’ll try to make sure there’s a place you can go to access my writing if you choose to come back for a re-read.

i want to thank everyone for being so kind to me over the years, and i’m sorry if i’ve disappointed anyone with this information. i’ll be tagging people from my taglist, and those who mentioned they wanted to be tagged in the demon!harry mini-series below. much love. 🤍

@callsign-scully @lnmp89 @keepdrivingkisses @tenaciousperfectionunknown @landosangel @tom-hlover @voguesir @iadoresleep @lmaotshollandd @starkscosmos @st-ev-ie @axelinchen @pleasinghellfire @kimmi-kat @mopeymousey @coolhotsexygemini10 @harrys-cherrry @vamprry @sunflowervol18 @lillefroe @samanddeaninatrenchcoat @bbontenswhhore

[soracities]

Just a note from the other side of unrequited love - I (f) was completely blindsided when my friend (also f) told me she was in love with me. I thought we were just very good friends who’d known each other for a decade.

Her telling me was very sweet, but now I think about it, just added to my stress - I was telling her about one of my lowest points (which at the time was recent) where I had been made to feel completely inferior, and in return told me I was perfect to her. I sincerely thanked her, surprised by her insistence, and continued my story, but she interrupted me to tell me again that I was perfect. And that she loved me.

She asked my feelings - said it was fine if I didn’t feel the same. I think I knew in my heart that I didn’t, but I was so shocked and wanted time to think it through, which only confirmed I didn’t feel that way about her. I told her in one of the most awkward conversations in our friendship, and said that I hoped we could stay friends if she wanted to. She did.

And so we continued. I’d asked her when she told me - how long? when did you realise? what made you realise? - but she couldn’t answer. Though I’d been curious, I put them out of my mind for her comfort, and tried to return to normal.

It’s different now, though, for me, and I don’t think she realises. She makes occasional comments about how good we’d be as a couple because of how well we get on, or jokes about how we fall into traditional stereotypes of husband and wife. She’s even offered a few times again, jokingly-but-not, saying “I would still date you if you ever changed your mind…” She occasionally asks about my love life, and reiterates the offer. I make my feelings clear, and we change the subject, but I think I need to have a direct conversation to end it because I feel so uncomfortable every time it comes up as I know I won’t change my mind.

At first, I felt like I should love her the way she wants me to. How shallow am I to throw away a relationship just because I don’t feel romantic or sexual attraction to her? But I’m realising that to place such expectations on myself is unfair, and that shallow as it may be, those are two of the defining features that delineate platonic and romantic love. I’m the person she is closest to outside her family, so even if I thought space was best, I know it’d break her. She’s absolutely wonderful, as a friend. So I continue, keep things light hearted, tell her it’s not something I want when she brings it up, and worry inside when she starts planning our “supposedly platonic” future of buying our own apartment together… I’m fine really, but just wanted to say the other end of unrequited love is hardly ideal either!

i can completely, completely understand this, and i really, really hope you are able to have this conversation with her sooner rather than later, for both of your sakes so that you, and her, can begin to move on. no matter what this is always such a delicate situation and trying to navigate it with care and consideration for both of your feelings is never easy and never going to be without pain or heartbreak, no matter how much you may wish to mitigate that.

for what it's worth, i don't think it is being shallow--you can, absolutely, acknowledge your own needs, and respect those needs, while at the same time recognizing that someone else doesn't meet them and that this doesn't detract from their character either--it's not fair on yourself to carry such discomfort in your friendship and no matter how you go about this you cannot avoid the hurt because it is not so much a question of if there will be pain but when; your friendship should be able to nourish you both in the healthiest way possible and i hope, again, that you can open this conversation with your friend soon because it really sounds like it is needed. i'm sorry you're in such an uncomfortable and tricky situation but i'm sincerely wishing you the best through this, anon ♡

[moth-monarch]

Ummm as long as I’m not being annoying maybe a fic of Dark Shadow interacting with principal nezu? Because neither of them are human and have been treated “less than” humans. If you don’t want to write nezu could you do kurogiri instead with the same premise? Because they are both seen as “monsters” and look so similar. (Again sorry for bothering you)

AAHHH! thank you so much for the ask! I will do my best but I've never written any kind of fanfic/one-shot down [for this fandom] so it might be formatted a bit weird! also, you're not bothering me or being annoying! I love being interacted with and writing stuff for characters I would otherwise rarely write for! I will do my best with this! thank you so much for the ask! I am really sorry this took so long [sorry about the long preamble]

it had been just like any other day for tokoyami. waking up to dark shadow screaming in his ear. going to school. barely surviving class. going back to the dorms to drop off their stuff. going home. getting kidnapped.

when tokoyami & dark shadow realized they were not where they were a second ago, all their hero training came flooding back to them and they started fighting. aimlessly, but fighting none the less

tokoyami fought as hard as they could but all his efforts were in vain. the person he was fighting was seemingly immune to his attacks.

tokoyami and dark shadow paused. the pair shared a glance. taking a moment to observe their surroundings.

a closed-off, damp, room with minimal lighting. in the center of the room floated? stood? a purple, smoke-like figure which dark shadow and tokoyami realized was one of the main members of the league of villians.

dark shadow quickly continued to attack, only to be restrained by fumikage. the three stared at each other for a long time. that was until principle nezu walked into the room, confusing dark shadow and tokoyami.

nezu explained in his far too cheerful voice that he had thought the four of them getting together to discuss the unfair treatment and discrimination they face as the result of not being what most people would think to be human.

the four quickly became engrossed in the other's stories and experiences. dark shadow taking change when the chat came to tokoyami, fumikage only injecting a few times throughout dark shadows' story.

the talk lasted much, much longer than any of the other participants had expected. when fumikge felt his phone buzz in their pocket, they saw five missed messages from his mother, three from hawks, and several from various of fumikages' classmates.

tokoyami brought this up and politely excused themself from the discussion. when he tried to get up and leave. he instead walked through a warp gate courtesy of kurogiri.

warped right back to where he had been. tokoyami quickly replied to all those who had texted him. apologizing to hawks for not being able to get KFC with him later, leaving his classmates in their class group chat on read, and explaining to his mother that he had gotten caught up talking to a friend and didn't feel his phone vibrate but that they would be home within the hour.

being a man of their word fumikage hurried home and made it just in time for dinner.

again, thank you so much for the ask! I am so sorry if this was not what you were looking for and that this took so long! until I find a tag for my textposts or any of my posts that aren't reblogs, I still need help finding that tag!

~moth☆

[ruri-rari]

this anon is sending this ask because they are curious about your complete and unfiltered opinion on each surodame route 🤓

Slow Damage is a love letter to survivors- to those who have scars, both visible and not.

To me, it was wholly unlike many other visual novels or dating sim games I’ve played before.

In fact, it feels a bit unfair to view the game as just a series of different character routes that end with the guy of your choice because, ultimately, it’s TOWA’S story. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

So! Here is my absolute monster of an essay about my thoughts on each of the routes (both before and after playing the whole game), as well as their different endings. For reference, I played Rei->Taku->Madarame->Fujieda, which ended up influencing my pre-/post-True Route feelings a lot.

Rei’s Route

Pre-True Route: Rei is a totally sweetheart, and as much as I love Towa, he can do better. Not to say that I didn’t like them together! They just seem like better friends than lovers, especially considering this route was so heavily focused on all of Rei’s issues, and neither directly explored nor resolved any of Towa’s, which… felt pretty unsatisfying and unsustainable for a long-term relationship.

This route was noticeably longer than the others, but since I played it first, I enjoyed really getting to know all the characters of Shinkoumi more thoroughly. It explored gender expectations and dysphoria in a direction that I wasn’t expecting, and I was pleasantly surprised by how well it was handled. Kirihara’s arc was disturbing (a nice teaser for the theme of cycles of abuse throughout the game), but seemed tame in terms of violence compared to Ikuina’s arc.

Mad End: EYE-PUSSY!!! ME-MANKO(?)!!! Jokes aside though, this was both sadder and less traumatic than I was expecting after the whole Ikuina business. I was a little confused about how Rei could turn out like he did here, though Towa letting himself become Rei’s opinionless sex doll didn’t surprise me. Ultimately, I think this was supposed to show how both of them had given up on ever being understood by others; Rei turned to inflicting violence in the hopes of affirming what he BELIEVES a man represents without actually making the scarier choice to change and grow as a person, while Towa decides to waste away his remaining days not as a person, but as a sexual object.

Euphoria End: Towa drinking water!?!? In my edgy grimdark game!? (I was honestly so shocked that I ended up having to reread lines since I was so distracted by our beloved protagonist actually hydrating with something other than alcohol.) This ending was so cute! Tooth-rotting fluff! Rei’s haircut was another shock, but I think it was important for us as the players to SEE him grow into the person he wanted to become, so I liked it. Despite none of Towa’s issues being resolved in this route, I think he has a lot of hope in this ending. He’ll be loved, and dragged into living a healthier and more fulfilling life by Rei’s stubborn refusal to let him waste away. They’ll travel the world, make new friends, and continue to grow and change as people.

Post-True End: I appreciate this route a lot more after finishing the whole story. While my dissatisfaction with how Towa’s issues don’t get addressed still stand, I felt like that may be the point of Rei’s route.

You don’t need to confront and overcome all your past trauma in order to have hope for a happier life. You have to WANT a happier life though, and I think we get to see Towa do so here in a much healthier way than in other routes. (I’m looking at you, Madarame.)

As stated in-game, Rei’s route focuses a lot on the contradictions that come with being a human, and in that sense, I can appreciate how Rei and Towa fit together.

Taku’s Route

Pre-True Route: Oof. Taku – babygirl, I love me a good overprotective yandere, but this route HURT me.

From the unsettling topic of pedophilia in Asakura's arc, to Taku’s shame revolving around drugs, to the horror of what was implied about Towa’s past, I was tense basically until the credits rolled.

I spent a majority of the time frustrated with Taku’s refusal to communicate, and at Towa for not pushing harder…but by the end, I was so, so invested in them getting their happy ending.

Shame and control were the themes of this route, and those are difficult topics to handle well, but I think N+C did a good job here.

One of my favorite moments was when Taku rightly points out that Towa’s obsession with pain isn’t just for sexual gratification, but as a way to punish himself. FINALLY SOMEONE GETS IT!! I like to imagine this gets picked up again once Taku is out of jail.

Mad Ending: PAIN AND SUFFERING. I’m not entirely sure why, but I think this ending was the most upsetting for me (though it may be tied with Fujieda’s Mad End.). Maybe because it was more realistic? (On a side note, props to N+C for clearly doing some actually research about drugs. I am SICK of anime and manga acting like taking ANY drug will give you reefer madness.) I saw Taku giving in to his desire to control Towa as just another manifestation of his shame, and in for a penny, in for a pound, right? So he slowly destroys himself, his morals, Towa, and any genuine love they had for each other. Meanwhile, Towa loses the only adult he ever felt safe with, and is doomed to die isolated and in fear. I hate thinking about it.

Euphoria Ending: I cried!! I was really proud of Taku for owning up to his decisions, and I loved that Towa learned that it’s possible to trust others. They may have been separated for two years, but their feelings only grew stronger during that time. I found it a bit funny that they had Towa wearing a totally different color scheme to show his growth (and to look good while standing under the cherry blossoms), while our resident old man came out of prison looking beefy. Loved that Towa mentions how Rei supported him during those two years without Taku. The only thing that left me conflicted was how Taku clearly knew a lot about Towa’s past, and how he had no intention of ever telling him.

Post-True Route: Taku, you fucker, I feel betrayed!!!!! I still like him and his route a lot, but all the discomfort I felt about his connection to Towa’s past has only been magnified tenfold! How much did he really know about what Maya was doing to Towa? Surely, as his doctor, Taku would have known for at least a few years that something really fucked up was happening to this child. I’m uncomfortable thinking about all the implications.

Madarame’s Route

Pre-True Route: Ah, yes. The fandom discourse creator, picking up the mantle left by Shiki of TNC and Mink of DMMD.

I was sad to watch what felt like Towa backsliding into his fucked up coping methods again after seeing the progress he made in Taku’s route, but ‘sane and safe’ is not the name of the game here.

In the end, I had a lot of fun playing his route and actually wished it was as long as the other three, especially since it gave us a lot of new worldbuilding and plot progression, as well as a showing us a big chunk of Towa’s past that had only been previously hinted at.

Granted, I spent a majority of the time trying to figure out just who the hell this guy was… Like, what drives him? What does he feel for Towa? What will he do if XYZ situation occurs? Much like our protagonist, I struggled to get any kind of read on him, so I was left feeling kind of frustrated by the time I finished his route.

Mad Ending: I mostly just found myself cringing through this ending. It was only while reading the last few lines and listening to the ending theme that I started to feel sad. I do think Madarame cared for Towa in his own way, but they have no hope for a happy ending here. Obviously, Towa is fucked; whether he kills Madarame or not, he can never go back to who he was. He’s not human, he’s Madarame’s dog. Meanwhile, Madarame clearly isn’t satisfied in this ending, especially if he WISHES Towa would go through with it and slit his throat someday. All around just a not good time.

Euphoria Ending: “Madarame makes me feel human again.” This quote really sums up what I think is the ultimate point of this route, and of this ending in particular. These two are so toxic for each other. That doesn’t change, even in their good ending. HOWEVER! Towa goes from drifting through life in a near-catatonic state of numbness, apathy, and self-hatred to living completely and fully in the moment. No past, no existential pain, just sheer adrenaline and the call of his most base needs. In a lot of ways, the Towa in this ending IS a lot more human than his previous self. Still, I was left feeling mostly worried for Towa, since despite Madarame’s declaration that he wanted Towa since the day he first laid eyes on him (and ignoring the whole “I-want-to-keep-you-as-a-pet” thing), I have no confidence in their relationship as we see it lasting long. What happens when one of them changes? Because they will someday. That’s just inevitable. So I can only imagine them drifting apart and then staying together in misery just like they do in their bad ending.

Post-True Route: Much like with Taku’s route, I am now haunted by questions about just how much Madarame knows about Towa’s past. We know Towa didn’t remember anything that happened with his mother during the years he spent with Madarame and Kaga, but the recklessness and need for violence that originally caught Madarame’s eye were very clearly a manifestations of Towa’s trauma… and I’m fairly certain Madarame knew that. So the question is, HOW much did he know and how involved was he? Clearly enough to know that even seeing the ruins of Maya’s mansion would send Towa spiraling in the True Route, but I like to hope that he had no involvement with Euphoria in its heyday. Regardless, I doubt we as the audience will ever know for sure.

Much like when I first played through Madarame’s route, I don’t think ‘romance’ is really the point; it’s about seeing a version of Towa that, while refusing to confront his trauma, has broken free of his complete and total apathy for life. A detail I really grew to appreciate with this route after finishing the game was how Towa’s, and therefore Maya’s, method of reading and manipulating people just straight up doesn’t work on Madarame, so we the players are forced alongside Towa to give up trying to do so… progress, I guess?

Fujieda’s Route

TIME FOR THE TRUE ROUTE, BABY!!! FINALLY!!!

Listen, I know this is technically Fujieda’s route since he’s the love interest here, but to me, this is actually the TOWA route.

Playing this part of the story totally recontextualized all the previous routes for me, and without that happening, I don’t think the game would be nearly as impressive as it ended up being.

Finally getting to uncover the truth the game had been steadily building up to, seeing all the plot points of previous runs come together as one story, watching Towa get to confront and overcome the trauma that has haunted him since childhood and get his happy ending was so, so incredibly satisfying.

When I first started this route, I was skeptical. After all, Fujieda barely shows up in the story before you unlock the True Route, so you have to go in already attached to all the other characters while knowing NOTHING about this random lawyer dude, and that’s hardly a fair competition. As I played more, my skepticism increased, because Fujieda is just so unlikeable during the beginning of his route; he’s cold, robotic, cutthroat, and clearly holds no regard for Towa, who at this point in the game I just wanted to shield from any and every bad thing that happened to him.

But as more and more secrets were revealed and Fujieda began to shed his armor around Towa, I grew to like and understand him a lot more. By the time he and Towa slept together in Towa’s apartment, I was completely sold on his role in the story.

As the title for this chapter of the story says, Fujieda and Towa are equals. The events that made them into the people they are may be totally different, and the way their trauma has manifested itself may appear to make them polar opposites, but at their cores they share a sameness that lets them understand and connect with each other in a way they’ve never been able to before. Through bringing the truth to light, they help make each other human again.

Mad Ending: tied with Taku’s bad end in terms of how upset it made me. After all the disturbing reveals about Towa’s childhood under Maya’s thumb that led up to this point, I was almost surprised by how… only mildly upset I found this ending? That is, UNTIL THE VERY LAST LINE FROM TOWA. That one whisper of “たすけて” had my stomach dropping and tears coming to my eyes. We just watched this character, through multiple routes, try and live with the fallout of his childhood abuse, AND THEN try so hard to actually face it, only to end up trapped as his mother’s slave just as he always feared. It’s heartbreaking if that happens, but he’s so far gone that he isn’t aware. It’s downright horrific if he has enough sense of self left to realize what’s occurring, but not enough to break free. Essentially, this ending is Towa’s worst nightmare come true, which I hate, but as a part of the story, was an incredible choice. Ending theme was also 10/10.

I just… have so many emotions about this ending. There’s so much hope for Towa, and every other character. THIS is the conclusion of Towa’s story, and I felt so proud of him for choosing to finally live. I would willing pay to play another 60+ hours of Towa getting to live his best domestic life with Fujieda without hesitation. Absolute 10/10 conclusion.

Euphoria Ending: Oh boy. I don’t have many words for the conclusion of Towa’s story. We finally get to see what true healing looks like for Towa and Fujieda both. So many plot points I had worried would be left unfinished were nicely wrapped up. (THE PAINTING??? TOWA’S ABILITY TO SEE SMOKE??? THE 大丈夫 GLITCH??? THE CHANGES TO THE MAIN MENU??? Stop, I’m gonna cry.) The inclusion of Maya’s diary was a great choice too; what we learn about her can never absolve or excuse what she did to her own son and many others, but it did make her human, and I think that was necessary for Towa to realize in order for him to come to terms with the abuse he suffered at her hands. She wasn’t a god, she was a sick woman who died sad and alone in the end. But Towa,.. he isn’t alone. He has people who love and support him, and who will stand by his side even when he fails. As he tells Taku in the final exploration section, he wouldn’t be where he is if he didn’t have all the people in his life who care for him.

[gascon-en-exil]

Could you do 2 and 3 for the ask meme? What about 37?

2. Is there a trope you’ve yet to try your hand at, but really want to?

Not exactly a trope, but I'd like to branch out from the semi-canon-compliant work I've been mostly sticking to in my first fic. I feel like the later chapters, which are mostly set after the story canon has all wrapped up, are where I got to be among the most creative in terms of ideas and with what I actually wanted to see from these characters.

That's a big reason that I think that I might actually be able to follow up on this and turn it into a series, now that I've laid the groundwork for where and how this continuity does and does not adhere to canon. That's been fun on a meta level, as a (hopefully subtle?) way of working through issues I have with Octopath Traveler II's story aside from just writing meta about it like I would with Fire Emblem or most other properties, but eventually those issues run out and one is left looking at these characters and wondering where they should go next.

3. Is there a trope you wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole?

Omegaverse springs to mind. I can understand the appeal of it intellectually, in part thanks to @theeeveetamer who writes Omegaverse and talks about it regularly, but I've determined that it's not really for me. If you know anything about some of my other interests you'd think it might be...but nope. It might be a bit distasteful to pull my - as someone once derisively described it, specifically referencing me - "man in fandom" card, but I think a big part of my indifference to Omegaverse is that I do have an unfair advantage over many readers and writers in M/M erotic fic spaces. I'm actually gay and have quite a lot of sexual experience to draw on because of my offline work, which happens to align closely with the standard profile of (cis) gay smut in transformative fandom. As such I always look at Omegaverse and find myself thinking about comparatively more mundane kinks that accomplish the same goals, kinks that can fit more readily into a variety of fictional contexts and don't require a hyper-specific AU to function.

That said, I do find many of the common arguments against Omegaverse - that it replicates heteronormative dynamics, that it's adjacent to bestiality - to be quite dumb and not worth entertaining. Even when kinks aren't to my taste, I don't see much point in judging them.

37. Talk about your current wips.

I appreciate that you separated this one, anon, because it's one of those that's pretty awkward for me to answer at the moment. The fic I'm working on is only a WIP publicly at this point; I finished it around the time I posted the first chapter, and have only been making edits intermittently since then because I've been told that staggering chapters is better for engagement. Still, it's what I've got - so let's go with that.

Putting this story together and publishing it have certainly been interesting experiences, and I've gotten some positive feedback from the approximately ten other people who ship Osvald/Partitio. Part of me is annoyed that I chose to start writing for a rare pair in such a small fandom as OT2, and that I didn't start out with something like Dimidue or Ferdibert instead...but FE's settings just don't speak to me in the same way. (Also, back when Houses was the hot new thing I was writing meta and fending off fan wank, and later getting a feel for YouTube, so I was quite busy elsewhere.)

I discovered pretty quickly that I have two preferred modes when writing fic. The first is the same sort of meandering, almost fairytale-esque disassociated narrator voice like what you'd find in my ship meta that actually verge on short fics themselves, ex. my attempt at building the crack ship Diarmuid/Tristan. The second is dialogue, to the point that for several scenes, particularly later in the fic, I sometimes felt as though I were writing a play. I'm not great with action scenes, which is one reason I skipped over most of the ones that had to be worked around in canon. I did come up with a rather cheeky way to nod toward that in the epilogue...though whether anyone else finds it funny remains to be seen.

But yes - it's been educational, and I am now firmly in rare pair hell. There's an entertaining spitefulness to it: that while YouTube's algorithm has pushed me into being a dedicated FETuber with only the occasional vanity project on the side, over on Archive Of Our Own I'm becoming known for my work in a completely different fandom.

[simlit]

All of them for Zeh

If your OC were to live in some other time period, which era would they be best suited for?

contemporary; mostly for aesthetic reasons. I think he fits poorly into any other timeline.

Who is your muse’s muse? 

He takes most of his inspiration in life from his parents. He admires them for their different strengths, and tries to emulate them in a lot of ways, but feels he constantly falls short. The problem lay in that he has a very romantic idea of his parents, where his idolization of them overwrites the reality, leaving him chasing impossible goals. However, they aren’t his driving force. He doesn’t discover that until later.

What is their character theme song and why? If it has lyrics, which line best fits them?

"Sometimes, I hate the life I've made. Everything's wrong every time. Pushing on, I can't escape everything that comes my way is haunting me taking its sweet time." “Narcissistic Cannibal” - Korn

Is your character bilingual or multilingual? Which language are they most comfortable in or prefer using? How did they come to learn them?

He’s multilingual. He can speak as a dragon, as well as being fluent in elvish and the languages of men. He’s most comfortable speaking in elvish, simply because it was his main mode of communication as a child. It’s what he learned first, and obviously, it’s his tie to Yehl. Despite his disconnectedness as an adult, growing up, Zehel was entirely fixed to his mother, so it’s his natural response. Often he will answer first in Lorrainian. In moments of internal dialogue, its almost exclusively elvish. 

Do they have an accent? How do they or others think of it?

He adopted Yehl’s accent, but speaks with Taryn’s cadence. Still, his voice is recognizable as distinctly elven. He would sound native to Kehl’Lorrania, but most elven men have lighter, higher-pitched voices than do dragons. When in the northern regions, he’s visually all dragon, but is often identified by his accent alone, because its so particular. 

What is a common misconception about your OC? (Alternatively, what do people assume about them which is either incorrect or misconstrued?)

That he is kind-hearted and noble. Noble, maybe, but only circumstantially. Legends told about him often depict him as the perfect prince, graciously helping the people as if he were this bleeding heart valiantly taking on the struggle of the common man. Of course none of that is true and he really just fucking hates mankind with every fiber of his being.

What sort of role do they take on in relationships, either familial, romantic or platonic. i.e. are they a defender, protector, nurturer, etc.

He has no idea what relationships are and sucks at literally all of them, so I would say he takes on the role of the moron.

Is mental, physical, or emotional wellbeing more important to them?

I don’t think any of them? It’s more like he struggles with the concept of his own wellbeing. He doesn’t really know how to take care of himself in those capacities. He’s very one-track minded, extremely goal-oriented, and nothing matters to him outside of that. He can overlook any kind of pain when he’s focused on something. Which is obviously... destructive, on a multitude of levels. I think these are all things he still needs to learn. 

If they were to lose the person closest to them, how would they mourn them and how would they handle their grief?

My initial instinct was to say “badly”, but honestly, I don’t think that’s true. I don’t know that he’d know how to deal with his grief, but he sees death as an expected part of life. It’d be a different story if that death were untimely or unfair; if he felt that person was taken from him unnaturally. The most difficult part, for him, would be continuing on and shouldering trying to live the life that person would have wanted him to. It would just add to a long list of failings, and what progress he made on that front would probably regress. 

[synergysilhouette]

Choices review: High School Story

Continuing on with my reviews, I'm doing one of the fan-favorites: High School Story! In the first trilogy, you play a sophomore going to a new school and you have to navigate new friends, new bullies, an evil principal, and a school rivalry. For the second trilogy, captioned "Class Act" you play a freshman who's school life focuses mainly on extracurricular activities, namely drama and helping friends run for class president. Don't worry--it's not as boring/cliché as I make it sound. And I have a habit of listing drawbacks to things rather than positives, so don't assume I hate the book! Make sure to check out my overall feelings at the end of each review.

Book 1 was really great. While the plot didn't intrigue me like other stories and the media's usual portrayal of high school made the relationships in the book feel very PG by comparison, but the characters were probably the best part of the book. Something that kind of annoyed me is how Michael is labeled the "bad boy," even though he really isn't. He's more of a loner who occasionally breaks rules--and I'm glad, considering I'm not big on bad boys. I do think it sucks that you can't pair Emma and Caleb together if you're not romancing them--maybe not in book 1 since Caleb is still processing his breakup, though. I do wish we had more extracurricular options, but I understand this is in the earlier days of the app, and they did well with what they had. I feel like Zoe and Brian's arcs in this series are A MESS, though. Zoe cheated on Caleb since Summer vacation and Brian had some kind of feelings for her, but when Caleb finds out, she tries to go back to him, and it felt very flat. Brian also gave a weak apology, and it looks bad because you decide whether or not Caleb forgives him, which makes it feel like MC allowed room for Caleb to excuse Brian's actions again. I'm just glad the writers didn't make Brian and Caleb become friends again, considering what comes later. Another thing I'd have enjoyed was explaining why MC transferred to Berry High, as well as their relationship with their parents; half of their dialogue with Scott is just "Dad/Daaaaad/Dad!" Overall, it was a good book, even if it didn't immediately have me wanting more.

Book 2 covers how the principal is caught in a scandal and is replaced by the vice principal, who is not only totalitarian, but also scamming the school. In comparison to the previous installment, it felt better and inferior in my opinion; It was too bad that despite us being able to make Emma and Luis a concrete couple in book 1, we don't have the option to lock down a relationship until the end of book 2. I also wish MC got the option to work at the school station during the winter season, and the friction in the school felt unfair towards students like Caleb who didn't think anything bad of Principal Isa's hall monitors. Those who fought against Isa were really insensitive to those who followed her rules like they didn't understand those who were raised to respect authority (even to extremes) and were being abused themselves. And lemme just say: the road trip gave me "The Freshman" vibes and I wish we'd gotten to have more fun like that outside of our "High School Story." And why were Maria's dads the only parents who were suspicious of Isa?

Book 3 was probably the best book in the OG trilogy--and shouldn't the last story in an arc always be the best, from a writing perspective? After a fire burns down the rival school, they come and stay at your school--and rivalries inflame the school. I will say it was kind of weird how deep this rivalry was, given that how you act affects the attitude of the freshman students from your rival high school. Speaking of them, I'm glad we can pair up some of our rejected love interests, though they brought up something I wished we could've discussed more in the series: sexuality and identity. It's rare to discuss sexuality in GOC books with main characters since everyone is playersexual, but Cameron talking about being nonbinary and Emma talking about coming out as bi had me wishing that we'd gotten to address this earlier (especially since many modern genderlocked Choices books try to work sexuality into the mix). For example, if in book 1 you go to homecoming with someone of the same sex, your dad doesn't know it's romantic and you have the option to come out to him in book 2 (honestly I'm surprised Aiden didn't have his own Kaitlyn Liao moment by coming out to his helicopter parents). I also wasn't the fan of the main villains being from the rival school (and how they look like college students, even if some high schoolers look like that). If they had to go that route, make Zoe and Brian the villains, both of them further spiraling after Caleb's disassociation from them--or have Skye be the villain with Brian to give off a Cheryl and Jason Blossom vibe, and after Skye's beat, she becomes the better person we see in book 1 of Class Act. I kinda wish these books were spaced out during several school years rather than one.

Class Act: Book 1 has you play a Freshman character at Berry High, and your original main character makes occasional appearances, with mention to their dating life and extracurricular activities if you choose to import them. The book primarily focuses on how you navigate your crush on your childhood best friend Rory and auditioning for the school play. NGL, it was messed up how we get blamed for our original MC getting hurt while auditioning, and I HATE slow burns, so the crush on Rory and cold shoulder from Ajay was annoying, to say the least. But it was satisfying--but you know what would've been super interesting? If this book kicked it up a notch and focused on investigating how MC got hurt (or maybe a random character is hurt/killed). Though I will admit part of this desire is fueled by wanting Daniele to be punished for her actions. It's mentioned later that she's going to therapy, so maybe that could've been court-mandated? And the twin dating Amber felt kind of out of nowhere; I feel like Amber didn't need to be a factor in this in that the twin could've had their life together better than MC, but that's just me.

Class Act: Book 2 wasn't as fun for me as book 1. It focuses on how MC's twin and Rory are running against each other for class president. It was super icky, especially if you're romancing Rory. Your twin's feelings of betrayal feel (almost) unjustified since they expect you to help them win simply because you're related. It's super ugly and Ajay's issue with his parent's divorce felt like a B-story despite how it affected him. But I do want to praise the fact that we see the characters wear new outfits for the winter season!

Class Act: Book 3 focuses on your spring musical going to an international convention in London! Honestly it's the most fun I've had in the CA trilogy. You also find out that MC and their twin have a biological family member living in London. I don't recall it being mentioned before that they were adopted. Was this addressed in the previous books? Maybe I missed that, but it was fun to get to know more of your character's family--though I do hate how it feels like a missed opportunity to cement MC's ethnicity; oftentimes, MC is customizable but their race is ambiguous. It'd be nice getting to know more of their British culture (along with Asian or African, depending on their race). But a BIG issue I have is with Rory's dad. Throughout the book, he sneaks around with one of MC's teacher, and it's revealed that he's been going through some emotional things that he couldn't bring to his wife...and we all don't dig deeper than that. I won't fault him since it's a "toxic masculinity" topic, but the fact that his wife forgave him so quickly felt a bit off, I guess? And Skye is being manipulated by her parents since they're financing the school play and it's future in London is in their hands. It was a really good arc, though in my alternate idea for "HSS: Book 3," it would've been interesting to see more Brian in the book. Even if he's awful, it'd make more sense. Overall, it was an enjoyable book.

HSS was a long series! Honestly I find "Class Act" more interesting story-wise, but the original trilogy had 5 love interests (not that having the option of Rory being a handsome male theatre nerd completely secure with his masculinity wasn't AMAZING), so in that aspect, it's superior. Both trilogies are replayable and as a franchise, a fun time, though the changeable extracurricular activities and various love interests in the original series makes it somewhat better, imo.

[wizardbronla]

My personal Della Duck analysis

A while ago I posted that I really didn’t like Della Duck. Well…I’ve had a bit of a change of heart, and I think I need to remedy that statement. So here’s a bit of my new opinion and analysis.

so let’s get started of why I used to hate Della so much. Personally, Timephoon is one of my least favorite episodes. I felt that Della handled the situation very poorly, and that Louie was just a victim. I was also very upset when they took his dream vacation without him. Looking back on it now, I think that episode kinda rubbed off wrong on me because of personal experiences I’ve had, and I wasn’t giving Della a fair chance.

Della Duck is a woman who has been through some stuff. She has serious trauma, which is sometimes played as a joke on the show, but is there nonetheless. So it is actually very understandable that when she saw her whole family zapped away in front of her, she would panic. I mean, she had *just* lost her family for ten years, and now all of a sudden they were gone again. I can 100% understand how that would send her into a spiral. Besides, Beakley had been hounding her for the entire episode to be stricter, and so she was just doing as she was instructed.

was the candy mountain thing unfair? Yes. was Louie entirely a victim? No.

While yes, he really didn’t mean for his scheme to go that far, it did. And it could’ve had serious repercussions. But luckily, everything turned out okay. But Louie had to know not to do something that risky again. Della did the right thing by grounding him. She did not do the right thing, however, by leaving him alone at the mansion. You can’t leave an 11 year old alone, no matter how serious the sin.

but Della had never been a mother before. She didn’t know that you can’t just leave kids alone. So the candy mountain thing was kinda mean, but she was still learning.

Now let’s talk about the season 2 finale. By that point, Della had grown so much as a mother. All she wanted was to keep her boys safe, no matter the cost. And while that didn’t turn out so great, the intention was still there, and I think that makes all the difference. Her and Louie make up, and now that parent-child bond is there. Della continues to be a great character throughout the rest of the show, but her main story arc was over.

And my final problem with Della is just that she wasn’t flushed out enough. And that’s not really her fault. The show was supposed to have more seasons, and there simply just wasn’t time. Had Disney renewed it for another season, however, I think she would have been one of my favorites.

anyways, those are just some of my late night thoughts about Della. I think she’s growing on me 🫶🏼

thanks for reading and happy new year!!