#and we were all welcomed back with no consequences after the issue was resolved

[palominodragon]

I have a bizarrely long history of being kicked out of online groups/roleplaying games and then weaseling my way back in. It's a whole thing.

But I was just thinking about it in terms of how autistic people are more likely to ignore rules that seem unnecessary/illogical, and while that hasn't been the reason for all my escapades, it's definitely played a part.

And I guess even when it's not the direct reason, there's still the mindset of "well, I was kicked out for a stupid, unjust reason, so I'm just gonna refuse to accept that."

I can be a real brat about it.

I once hid my identity and continued playing in a game for years after I'd been told I couldn't play the character I wanted to. Did play her. I was just impressively sneaky about it. They only found out after I got bored and started testing how much I could hint before I got caught.

And no, their reason for not letting me play that character never became an issue.

[stirthewaters]

Too Sharp to Touch pt.8

Word Count: 2.2k

Warnings: none? 

Summary: After a chat with Larissa Weems, Wednesday is left confused about her feelings

Pairing: Wednesday x Reader

Too Sharp to Touch Masterlist

Wednesday’s fingers tapped impatiently on the back of her wrists, eyebrows furrowed and sighing slightly in irritation as she paced the office, waiting for Larissa Weems to finally see her. Yes, she had been more or less accused of some previous incidents in the past but that was no excuse for this inexcusable wait time that she was for some reason being forced to suffer through.

You were clearly impatient as well; Wednesday found herself straining to listen to your own fingers tapping out small beats across your thighs as you leaned forward on the bench behind her as she paced. The Addams already had the beat you’d been drumming out memorized forwards and backward, as well as inside and out. 

The clock was taunting the both of you, ticking away loudly through the muffled sounds of phone calls and talking from behind the closed door. Wednesday was growing tired of the growing lack of Weems’ appearance in the doorway to her office; all she could think of was the time that was being wasted when she could have been focusing on the issue at hand. 

When the raven had nearly reached the point of opening the door herself, the knob twisted and she let out a slight exhale as the meticulously groomed figure of Larissa Weems appeared in the doorway, the professional smile she knew only too well spread across her features.

“Ah, Miss Addams and Miss Y/L/N, welcome in, I’ve been expecting you two.”

“Quite the contrary,” Wednesday muttered, gritting her teeth as she lightly nudged you to get you going, already quickly striding past Weems and into the office. Your leg was warm.

The room was lit with the typical warm glow of the fireplace, a cozy roar ecompanying the gorgon shaped hearth as the principal waved a gloved hand at the two chairs facing her desk. “Please, take a seat. From what Miss Addams has already told me, you heard a gunshot in the woods.” Weems’ eyes narrowed slightly as she spoke in a tone that seemed slightly warning, Wednesday listening intently as she turned to talk to you directly. “Now, Y/N, I believe the two of us have had more than one conversation about your permissions regarding the woods.”

Wednesday raised an eyebrow at you, folding her arms as she watched your eyebrows raise, clearly caught. Even if you might receive some sort of consequence for your disobedience it was well worth having this strange occurrence resolved. 

“I know it was before the time we agreed on, but to be fair - “ you glanced at her, eyes narrowing just slightly as you spoke. “It wasn’t my fault.”

Oh, so you were going to play that card.

“Look, Wednesday and I - “ you sighed softly, seemingly struggling to find a way not to get the both of you in too much trouble as you continued  - “it was just a dumb joke that was going around, I just had to get some stuff from the woods -”

“Quite the interesting way to discredit yourself.” Wednesday muttered with a roll of her eyes. “What may have happened previous to our current situation is unrelated.” Although your pranks were, albeit, childish and ineffective, they were adequate, and it was odd how she was slightly frustrated to see you put yourself down so quickly. Or perhaps you were merely avoiding more punishment.  

Larissa gave a small sigh, rubbing her temples with her gloved hands as she eyed the two of you, eyes still slightly narrowed as she spoke, “I’ll be quite frank with you, I’m not entirely sure what the two of you get up to in your freetime but I will assure you that any continued disregard for the rules that I have to keep my students safe will be accounted for by all means.” Sighing, she straightened and pulled out a manilla folder, placing it in front of her on the desk so that the two of you could see. “I’ve already received a written report from Thing of what he witnessed” - Weems nodded briefly at the two of you  - “but I believe I’d rather receive a recount of the situation from Y/N here from your perspective, seeing as you seem to be the main concern of this.”

Wednesday glanced at you as you straightened at being called upon, adjusting slightly in your chair as your eyes flitted from the principal to her before returning. You were anxious just talking about it; she knew your tells, from the constant shifting to the drumming of your fingers atop your thighs. Her jaw tightened as she tried to evaluate why she knew this. 

“I was just in the woods, looking around and I had…um…scented something weird earlier like sulfur… Thing came running at me out of nowhere and I heard the gunshot way down.” You gestured with your arm as if to show the direction of where the gunshot had came. “Sounded like a shotgun, but I didn’t catch anything that’d help who actually…y’know…shot it.”

Weems seemed to study you for a long moment, eyes flitting over your uniform and hair, still slightly messy with a few stray twigs from the tumble you’d taken much earlier. Wednesday’s eyes narrowed as she felt her patience beginning to wear. Surely this wasn’t such a difficulty question of your credibility? You were reliable enough, you did your work (sometimes), and you had a solid testimony. It was… adequate, Wednesday had to admit to herself, though she’d rather drive a rusted nail through her cranium than vocally say so to you.

“It isn’t unusual for an occasional gunshot here and there,” Larissa said at last, sighing as she leaned back in her chair, glancing at the fire in the hearth as she spoke. “What with the development of the different hunting gear stores in Jericho I don’t see it being particularly odd. Y/N, your heightened senses could have been a contribution to the fact that the gunshot might’ve sounded closer than where it actually had.” When you opened your mouth to argue, she waved a hand to stop you, continuing. 

“The woods are off-limits for non-faculty and normies unless under my permission and throwing out accusations based on only two student testimonies could pose an insult to the services provided from Jericho, and I’m not willing to risk the trust Nevermore has built with them so far.”

Meanwhile Wednesday’s eyes narrowed slightly as she remained silent during Weems’ reasoning, glancing at you every so often when you weren’t looking to observe your reactions. You looked frustrated, to say the least. She couldn’t blame you, seeing as you had appeared pretty frazzled from your experience. Maybe you had a craving for answers? To truly understand anomalies around you? After all, Nevermore was quite the intriguing place. Wednesday’s jaw tightened as she tore her gaze away from you and back to Weems, who was handing you the folder she had placed down earlier, assuming what appeared to solely be Thing’s testimony.

“If you can bring me more credible evidence that these shootings are unusual than we’ll discuss this again but until then we shall be leaving this on hold.”

“So you’re going to just sit in blissful ignorance?” Wednesday raised an eyebrow, tone hardening.

“I’d rather not risk the reputation of Nevermore over a single sound in the woods.” Weems responded, sighing as she stood. “Both of you are dismissed. Y/N, I trust that you’ll return with anything else you’ll find, as well as you Wednesday.”

Wednesday stood, nodding with a small sigh as she glanced at the folder in your hands, stepping slightly closer to examine the report, though she didn’t need to. She knew what it said. It was the same thing that Thing had recalled to Enid earlier in the dorm. A bit exaggerated but plain and to the point.

The raven glanced at you, ready to leave, and, noticing you looked a little lost in thought, she sighed and reluctantly nudged your leg again with hers. “Come on.”

You stood and she watched as you nodded at Weems, who waved a gloved hand in response with a nod as she turned back to her computer, following you out of the office as she closed the door behind the two of you with a quiet thud.

The walk past the main office was silent; Wednesday found it an eery contrast to your normal demeanor, which she typically would’ve found enjoyable if it wasn’t so out of character for you. You were surprisingly tolerable when you were silent and brooding, although the Addams found herself somehow off-put without your chattering. Curious.

That feeling, however, was quickly distinguished when you started rambling the second the two of you were back in the main hallway, more empty of students than usual.

“Look, I know we don’t have a lot of evidence, but I know it wasn’t some random thing out there! Wednesday, it was my danger sense, my fur was standing on end, and you know that wouldn’t just be some random loose shot by town making it act up!” Your hands gestured around as you talked, as if enunciating the points you were making. “Not to mention I scented the sulfur closer to the academy than where I heard the shot.” 

Wednesday nodded slightly in acknowledgement, silently noting to write down what you were saying later in the privacy of her dorm. “I assume you’re referring to where the vanilla scent trail was laid.”

“That was you?” Your head tilted to glance at her, eyebrows shooting up with a little sparkle in your eye. The look of awe in your eye was almost comical. Your cluelessness was somehow just so you.

“I wasn’t going to make it impossible,” Wednesday scoffed, rolling her eyes slightly as her tone became matter-of-fact and perfectly neutral. “Not only is that just irrational and foolish but I doubt that you’d be able to find it on your own.” The Addams suppressed a smirk at your look of indignance, followed by you reaching out your foot to hook hers. She quickly adjusted and sidestepped, a slight stumble to her foot which she silently cursed, though she glanced at you, raising her eyebrows.

“Better than last week; your technique is improving.”

You beamed, and the raven glanced away from you to the hallway, confused by the slight prickling her chest at the sight. She didn’t understand what that was, and pushed it away, exhaling slightly as her eyes fell to the manilla folder still in your hand. She reached for it and you handed it over.

“I’ll borrow this for the time being. I’d like to collect some evidence of my own if I could.”

“Oh.” Were you deflating at her words or was she imagining it? You were somehow hard to read at the moment. “I can’t help?”

“If I’m correct about your schedule, I believe you’ll be partaking in your painting lessons with Xavier,” Wednesday shook her head slightly, pausing to glance at you, mentally running through the list of activities she knew the you partook in throughout the week. “From what I know about your studies in art I assume it matters to you as my writing does to me and I shall not interfere strictly on that understanding.”

You nodded slightly, sighing as she watched you put your hands in your pockets, glancing at the folder and then back up at her. “Yeah. Just let me know if anything comes up.”

Wednesday nodded in response, sighing slightly as she briskly turned on her heel, leaving you to your devices as she moved on in the direction of  her Hummers meeting, boots clomping through the floors as she heard your footsteps echoing away behind her, the sound ringing on in her mind far more than she liked.

As she passed the commissary she heard a familiar voice, and had to resist the typical response of pressing her pocket knife to the neck of her sudden opponent, sighing as she was approached by Enid, who was smiling and giggling much more than usual.

“What. Are. Those.” Wednesday's eyes hurt just glancing at the neon colored shoes the werewolf was sporting, nose scrunching slightly in disgust. The werewolf grinned and shook her head. “Some of the hottest sneakers right now. Behold!” Enid beamed as she stomped a foot and multicolored lights danced from the soles of her shoes. Wednesday dragged her eyes away, a headache already forming in her temples from the sight.

“Enid, I have a meeting, get to the point.” She muttered out, watching as the blonde nodded.

“Look, the school is doing a little pumpkin carving thing to celebrate Halloween and I was thinking I’d offer, seeing as you like all the spooky vibes.”

Wednesday hesitated, considering the werewolf’s words as she slowly spoke. “Spooky vibes’ aside, I typically refrain from participating in activities to amuse the adolescent youth for a holiday that was invented for the excuse to receive sugar…”

“Y/N will be there.” The huge smile on Enid’s face was telling. Wednesday felt her jaw tighten as she realized exactly what the blonde was doing. 

Fists clenching, Wednesday spoke her words slowly, as if they were being dragged out one by one. “I-I’ll consider it.” She wasn’t happy with that prickling she was feeling in her chest again. She didn’t understand it and she surely did not like it. 

Wednesday turned to go. She didn’t need to look behind her to know that Enid was smiling like crazy as she walked away.

—————

pt.9 here!

Taglist: @idkjustliving2

[shiningshenanigans]

So, about Loki and Sylvie’s dynamic in Episode 2…

This episode was hard to watch. It’s painful to see these two characters who we know love each other wrestle with such deep-seated issues in their relationship. The gap between expectations and reality for their reunion scene, what we hoped it would be vs. what we got, is pretty glaringly huge. 

It’s interesting to think about how most of the reunion fics people have been writing for the past two years have been variations of the same thing: Loki searching endlessly for Sylvie out in the multiverse, finally finding her and welcoming her back with open arms; Sylvie, tentative and rageful at first, but eventually breaking down in tears and melting into his embrace. We all wanted a big, emotional moment for them, full of kisses and hugs and apologies and “I love you”s. What we got instead was awkward tension and a lack of vulnerability from both parties. 

That sad part is, this is just what happens in human relationships sometimes. Sometimes you can’t resolve everything with one conversation. Sometimes fear, insecurities, pride, or just poorly timed interruptions keep us from mending what’s been broken between us and the people we love. 

But, there’s still a reason that we wanted to see the reunion scene play out this way, à la Hosea and Gomer or the prodigal son returning home after wasting his father's money. We long to see forgiveness and repentance play out in relationships, because that’s what unconditional love looks like. That’s how the conversation should have gone, and would have gone if these weren’t flawed, complex characters that we’re dealing with. Sylvie should be feeling remorse for what she’s done. Loki should be prioritizing Sylvie’s emotional well-being above his own needs. Under the surface, I think that that’s exactly what’s happening. But neither of them are vocalizing it properly, and that’s what’s creating the tension. 

Sylvie, I think, is clearly in the wrong. I say that as the biggest Sylvie stan ever, so hear me out. Her actions and anger towards the TVA have always been completely, 100% justified, but she’s being really short-sighted at the moment. She thinks she can settle down in her own timeline and forget about everything, but sooner or later the consequences of her actions are going to come back to haunt her.  

If you think about it, killing HWR didn’t really do that much to free the timeline. The TVA didn’t even know that HWR existed, and he seemed to be running everything on autopilot. If Sylvie had made it all the way to the citadel by herself, without ever meeting Loki or Mobius, the TVA might very well have just continued to prune branches and hunt her down, with no real knowledge of what happened behind the curtain. 

The real reason the TVA stopped coming after Sylvie is because Mobius and B15 put out an order to stop pruning branches. While Loki and Sylvie were making their way to the citadel, they were down in the TVA changing hearts and minds, transforming it from the inside out. That’s not to diminish what Sylvie did - after all, it was her fighting spirit that inspired the change in the first place. But in a roundabout way, Loki is really the one who set her free from her life on the run. He was the bridge between her and the TVA, the one who brought her story and the all evils of the TVA to the light. It’s really his influence that has made her new life on the timeline possible, but she doesn’t comprehend this yet. She can’t, with all of her unhealed trauma. In her mind, she’s her own hero. She saved herself.

It’s interesting to note that when Loki asks her what she’ll do if HWR shows up again, her answer is, “Kill him”, with that smug little smirk on her face. This has been Sylvie's go-to solution for all her problems ever since we met her. Minute men chasing her down? Kill them. Timekeepers trying to control her destiny? Kill them. Clown interrupts her plan to kill said time keepers? Kill him. Weird man in a purple robe trying to take away everyone’s free will? You guessed it: kill him. What she doesn’t realize, though, is that this mindset makes her no different from the corrupt TVA agents she hates so much. People making choices that lead to chaos and multiversal war? Prune them. In other words, kill them. Loki’s love for Sylvie, and his friendship with Mobius, has taught him that life has value, and now he’s doing everything he can to protect it through the TVA. But this isn’t a lesson that Sylvie has learned yet. She’s only thinking about the value of her own life - not the lives of others. Not really. Not yet.

Also, how happy could she really be in her little 1980s McDonalds world? Yes, she's experiencing stability for the first time in her life, and don't get me wrong, Homegirl totally deserves the chance to rest and live a normal life for a little while. But, at the same time, how many people in her new timeline could ever really, truly understand the life she’s lived? She deserves to have people like Loki, Mobius, B15, Casey and OB in her life: fellow variants who can relate, on some level, to the trauma that she’s been through. She deserves the chance to explore and embrace her Asgardian heritage, her Jotun heritage, even. With Loki in particular, she has the opportunity to be in a relationship where she is fully known in every way possible, seeing as he’s literally a masculine version of herself. She deserves that kind of intimacy in her life, and it won’t be long before that lack of connection starts to leave her lonely again. She may say that she’s not running from anything, but she is. She’s running from herself, from her own story.

Loki’s not off the hook, either. He made some major missteps in the way he approached this conversation. It really should have been his responsibility to lead with love and prioritize Sylvie’s emotions over his own. And while I think he tried to do that… he failed pretty miserably. 

I have a suspicion that he was disappointed, a little hurt, even, when he learned about Sylvie’s new life on the timeline. Afterall, they had kinda made plans to do that together when all was said and done. It probably stung to learn that not only was she ok without him, she was also happy and thriving in her new life. This is honestly the hardest part of learning how to love someone selflessly. You tell yourself that you want what’s best for them, but… can you accept it if “what’s best for them” has nothing to do with whether or not you are an active part of their life?

A lot of Loki’s desperation to find Sylvie in the first episode is fueled by uncertainty–not knowing where she is and wanting to make sure she’s ok. When he learns about her new life, a lot of that urgency goes away. But, he still wants to see her, and he feels like he needs a “reason” for it. So, he hides behind his encounter with her in the elevator as his way in.

What Loki should have done in this moment was be vulnerable with her. He should have asked her how she was. He should have told her the real reason he came: because he loves her and wants to fix things between them (and also protect her from an impending multiversal war, but that’s a conversation for later). He got this so right when he threw himself under her blade at the citadel, holding her gently and assuring her that he knew how she felt. But sincerity and truth-telling, vulnerability, are all still new to him, and while he’s not hiding his feelings anymore, you can tell he’s still struggling to express them.     

He’s too in his own head during their conversation. Her cold attitude and the time limit she’s placed on the talk have left him scrambling for words, so instead, he chooses to put up his own walls rather than chip away at hers. He tells her about what he saw in the future and asks her for information. He starts talking about TVA business and multiversal wars (the absolutely last thing she wants to hear about) and tries to force his viewpoint on her again rather than actually trying to clear the air.  

They both have so far to go to reconcile their relationship, and it's tough to watch. It makes me miss their bond in season 1, their playful banter and the inherent sweetness of their honeymoon phase. Is it possible that they’re drifting apart intentionally, that they won’t end up together in the end? Yeah, sure. Marvel doesn’t really have a great track record for ending romances on a positive note. But I really hope that all the angst is building towards something satisfying in the end. It is, after all, only episode 2. We’ve got the whole rest of the season to go!  

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

it's me, hi! i'm the anon for last night, it's me!

i think i should use an emoji to identify myself

so, again you were very spot on! as you elaborated perfectly: unfortunately most of the time these partners don't even do this on purpose, it's usually a consequence of this habit of most men always thinking that the woman will solve everything, of being used to having their needs always be taken care of and are catered to. in simply being used to not thinking too much about this kind of thing. and this custom is only broken if the man has some form of will and motivation to try to change and really try to help his partner, whether in emotional or domestic issues, being willing to live as a team where one helps the other. but as you mentioned, most of the time that's not what happens

as for adulthood: exactly! everything is kind of a mess. and I also have a close friend who ended an engagement and was very embarrassed by the situation, in her case, the relationship was already full of problems, she said yes to the propouse but after a few month she realized it wasn't right. they had been dating for a few years, she had even moved to another country with him because of his work, it's a very long story lol.

but anyway, what I also find interesting is that all the situations you mentioned are so common, but when we are going through them we feel so alone. Some women are embarrassed to tell their friends about these problems while things are still being resolved with their partners, some only tell them many years later (I know cases of some women who were betrayed during the relationship, but decided to stay with their partners for a while, so they omitted this issue from some friends). like, we know that adult life is very chaotic and surely know someone (or will you eventually find out) that has been through the same thing as you, but when everything is going on it's normal to feel a little alone too.

lastly, taking advantage of your references to peter and ylm, I wanted to say that I really admire taylor for talking about this, I know it was expected, but sometimes I think it must be very difficult to deal with such a sensitive and vulnerable subject with thousands of people. sometimes I see some people commenting that they thought she made everything too blurry, but to be honest I think that's normal, I think the way she was able to share it all with us was the limit she could go at that moment and I already I think she's very brave. I think we in our late 20s or early 30s can pick up what she's putting down.

Hi anon! Welcome back!

“What I also find interesting is that all the situations you mentioned are so common, but when we are going through them we feel so alone” this is so, so, so true, and tbh I feel might be a big reason why Taylor decided to release TTPD the way she did and when she did, and I think being able to perform it on tour has been so gratifying and liberating.

I’ll tell you that in my friend’s case with the broken engagement, she was incredibly private about their problems — and this is someone I’ve been friends with nearly my entire life. My spidey senses picked up that something was going on with her after a particular day hanging out at their house, but when I gently pressed my friend chalked it up to pre-wedding jitters. So I gave her grace to speak about it how she wanted but just continued to support her as best I could. It wasn’t until the aforementioned bathroom floor breakdown that everything spilled out and I found out what was going on and how bad a place she was in. After it came out, I think it finally gave her strength to understand what she needed to do and do it, as painful and embarrassing and sad as it all felt at the time.

So I really do think Taylor writing and releasing music about it, more or less in real time, is her own way of doing that, and she’s said as much on tour about how cathartic and healing it is. It took a lot of guts to write the album, plan its release in the middle of a global tour and rejig an entire set list to fit it in and get that catharsis every night on stage. And I think about how many stories I’ve seen on here and other platforms in the last three months of people relating hard to the song and having their own Smallest Man or So Long London moment in their lives and I think that’s very much part of Taylor’s intention with the album. All at once the ink bleeds.

I love TTPD. Like, unabashedly and completely. I love how long The Anthology is and there are few, if any, skips on the album for me. And even if there were, I’d still respect Taylor’s right to release such a length album because a) she can and should do whatever the fuck she wants and b) I truly feel every one of those songs had to come out of her and each one says something about what she’s gone through and what she’s processed in the past year. I know people feel like the album needed more editing or whatever, maybe there’s an argument there from a commercial or production point of view, but like I said, I think every song relays an experience from her life, either literally or metaphorically, that she felt she wanted out in the world so people know and understand her.

This isn’t directed at you at all, but I can’t take any argument against her making the muses too “blurry” seriously whatsoever. IT’S HER WRITING AND SHE CAN DO WHATEVER SHE WANTS. She doesn’t owe anyone a verbatim telling of her life, and art takes on so many forms. No one would demand an explanation from any other artist over the inspiration for their work, and Taylor shouldn’t be expected to either. Maybe songs are about one person, maybe they’re about five, maybe they’re about no one and from her imagination, but regardless of the inspiration, it’s all her. Never let the truth get in the way of a good story, after all, lol. But in all seriousness, this is songwriting, and while we know Taylor writes from her own experiences, and we are lucky to be able to take those stories and use them to gain insight into her as a person, she is within her right to share as much or as little as she wants. All she does is release her music, and now it’s up to everyone else to take it forward. It’s incredibly brave and generous of her as an artist and I wish she got more credit for it, but ultimately she’s getting the last laugh.

Luckily, I feel like it’s pretty easy to pick up what she’s putting down, and I’m glad we have this art to reference when speaking about situations like these.

[thyandrawrites]

I have to preface this with the fact that I don't mean any of this in a hostile tone, but am genuinely curious about what you think. Do you think that the LoV's past circumstances will/should give them leeway to get away scot-free from the consequences of their (extremely destructive/disruptive) actions that have injured common folk more than the Heroes they claim to hate the most? (1/4)

We, as readers, are aware of the conditions that drove Shigaraki, Toga and the others to do what they did but I feel that the general public won’t really vibe with the idea of reintegrating or give a carte blanche to people whose body counts number in the thousands and I feel that addressing this satisfactorily will be really difficult in the long run. The series has a hopeful tone but the populace Just forgetting the grievances caused doesn't seem that palatable, to be honest. (2/4) 

Does Touya deserve no commeuppance for his (by his own words) few dozens of victims because “It’s all Endeavor’s fault” as if he had literally no involvement in the thought process that took him to callously wreaking havoc everywhere? I mean, Shouto's gotten his ass kicked by Karma repeatedly and his actions haven't been that drastic, asides from being kind of an asshole initially (3/4) 

Society in BnHA is flawed af and needs re-structuring to address the issues it has (which is the direction is heading to) but do the people who have destroyed everything around deserve full forgiveness just because their stories were tragic? Especially in the face of people who have faced similar enough circumstances and haven’t resorted to outright villainy. This is not to say that I want them to be killed or thrown to jail but I want to know what you think. Sorry for dumping all of this on you 

*sigh* Not this argument again, please.

I want you to understand that no one is saying that they “deserve full forgiveness”. Not even the story says that, in fact. You’re forgetting that this panel exists:

or this other one:

Deku acknowledges the things Shigaraki has done. And he says he can’t forgive him for them. But saving has nothing to do with forgiving.

What Deku’s doing when he’s showing Shigaraki sympathy, when he’s resolving to save him, is recognizing that Shigaraki is a victim of AFO’s abuse. It’s recognizing Shigaraki’s hurt, and how before he became a villain, he was just a little boy crying and hoping to be saved by a hero, too.

Deku never said “I’m gonna give you a carte blanche for hurting my friends because you are hurting too.” Deku’s said “Shigaraki killed many people. He’s hurt people near and dear to me. AND YET.”

I don’t know how you can interpret that as blanket forgiveness. It’s not. It’s Deku stating that Shigaraki’s victimhood is not lessened by the damage he’s done. It’s not condoning or softening of Shigaraki’s actions, it’s an acknowledgement that Shigaraki is still a human being despite how unforgivable his actions are.

“I feel that the general public won’t really vibe with the idea of reintegrating or give a carte blanche to people whose body counts number in the thousands“

Well, the general public gave their support to a child abuser and a murderer, so their morality isn’t exactly stellar, either. Nor are they completely devoid of blame, either. Dabi’s pov and chapter 305 show that their support and their willingness to turn a blind eye to corruption are also a symptom of everything that’s wrong with hero society. I don’t know why their opinions should have such a weight into what ends up being the fate of the villains. If the masses can be persuaded into accepting back a child abuser, they can also be persuaded into accepting back the victim of that abuse.

Besides, redeeming the core Lov in the eyes of the general public isn’t even that hard?? Literally all they have to do is help defeat AFO, the biggest threat to peace in hero history, and the person directly to blame for the existence itself of the League of villains as an organization. Without him, “Shigaraki Tomura” never would’ve existed. Without his network, without Ujiko’s devotion, the attacks never would’ve taken place. Without his experimentation on Machia, and his brainwashing into blind devotion, the destruction of those cities never would’ve happened. Please let’s blame the right person for that. Tenko was kidnapped at age 5 and gaslit into remaining feral and angry and self-destructive for a purpose. He cannot be held to the same standard as his literal abuser.

You also make it sound as if Dabi, Shigaraki and the others haven’t already been miserable all their lives. You freely mention how much they destroyed, but skip mentioning how much they also self-destructed. To bring up an example.

The hands that Shigaraki was forced to wear on his body every day were said to be the trigger of his trauma.

AFO purposefully gaslit him into accepting to be re-traumatized every. fucking. day. Because the one condition to steal ofa is a strong enough emotion, so he had a vented interest in keeping Tenko as far away from closure and healing as possible.

In fact, we were even told that Shigaraki experienced that grief like the first time every single day of his adult life. So much so that suffering has become normalized to him.

The story has been punishing them more than enough already. What they “deserve” is not to be even more miserable, but to finally be freed from the belief that there cannot be any salvation for them. That there cannot be a life outside of destruction.

They have never walked away “scot-free”. Dabi doesn’t even have a sense of self outside of his trauma. He had a meltdown on live TV but everyone seems to think he was entirely rational about his revenge, entirely present as he attempted suicide in front of a stage that didn’t do anything to stop him.

“just because their stories were tragic“

“in the face of people who have faced similar enough circumstances and haven’t resorted to outright villainy“

No. Look, I understand that you’re not trying to start an argument or to sound hostile, but this is victim-blaming. You are minimizing the extent of their trauma, and blaming them for not reacting to it in a way that you find palatable. Dabi is no less of a victim than Shouto because he didn’t have the tools to cope with his trauma in a way that society finds acceptable. Shouto had his mother’s love and her full support and reassurance. Touya didn’t. It’s not Touya’s responsibility that the adults around him didn’t give him a support system, that they didn’t provide him with emotional stability, that they refused to take care of him and to love him. If he “resorted to outright villainy” it’s because his father refused to interact with him in a context that wasn’t that of the so-called “world of heroes”. If he bothered answering just ONE of Touya’s pleas, Touya wouldn’t have had to resort to villainy in the first place. Again, please blame the right person.

Also, Dabi’s faceless, unnamed victims that you mention don’t have more narrative weight than Twice’s (a named character who invoked a strong connection with the audience) extrajudicial murder. You make it all about numbers like this is real life and not fiction. If Dabi’s kills were framed as having the same emotional and moral impact than the heroes’ mishandlings of justice, then Horikoshi would’ve made room to show those people’s backstories. The only reason why Dabi and the League killed so much is to pose a narrative challenge.

At what point does hero society stop seeing them as victims and starts claiming for their blood? This supposed line between good and bad that cannot be crossed because otherwise you’re too far gone is exactly what caused the destruction in Jakku and the nearest cities. The dehumanization of Shigaraki’s personhood into an “it” that needed taking down, X-less’ refusal to cpr Shigaraki when his heart stopped, are exactly what caused the decay rampage. Punitive justice cannot work to fix the problems here so long as the ones administering it are criminals, too. Rehabilitation can.

A lot of people seem to forget that the reason why the villains are lashing out against hero society is not because “they had tragic backstories”, but because society is specifically tailored to repress and reject them. They kill and they destroy because society taught them that they were monsters that destroyed.

Every time I see the argument that the villains’ redemption means condoning their crimes I have to stop my eyes from rolling so hard they’ll fall off my face. Literally no one is saying that. “Redemption” just means giving these broken people a reason to stop the rampage, to learn that destruction doesn’t have to be the only way to move forward.

If society cannot make room to welcome them back, to accept them after they rejected them for so long, then I’m sorry but you misunderstood the entire premises of this manga

[scorpionyx9621]

Do you think Jason Todd fandom is kinda toxic? Because it seems like NO MATTER what DC do, there'll always be complains. Forget the bad adaptation like Titans. Even Judd Winick cannot escape the criticism with how he potrayed Robin!Jason. They just never satisfied.

SORRY, IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO RESPOND TO THIS. I just moved from Washington D.C. to Seattle, which, for my non-American friends, that's 4442km away. And I DROVE THERE ALL BY MYSELF. And now I'm trying to find new work in a new city and trying to stay mentally healthy and positive. Life is exciting but hard and scary.

*sighs*

As someone who was a fandom elder with V*ltr*n. I've seen some of the worst when it comes to fandom behavior. I'm talking people baking food with shaving razors and trying to give them to the showrunners. I'm talking leaking major plot details and refusing to take it down unless they make their ship canon (I am looking at you, Kl*nce stans) For the most part, DC Comics has had a decades-long reputation of treating their fans like trash and not caring what they think so from what I've seen, we all just grumble and complain in our corners of the internet about how we don't like how X comic portrays Jason Todd.

The challenge with Jason Todd is that he's your clinical anti-hero, the batfamily's Draco in Leather Pants, he's a jerkass woobie, and on top of all of that, he's a Tumblr sexyman. It's a perfect storm for a very fun but frustrating character to be a fan of. It doesn't help that every writer decides to re-invent the wheel every time Jason comes up so his canon lore is confusing at best and inconsistent as a standard.

I guess starting with a general brief on who Jason is and what is uniform about him with every instance he's appeared in comics/media.

Grew up in a poor family in Gotham with a dad who was a petty-mid-level criminal, and a mother who dies of a drug overdose.

Survives on the street on his own by committing petty crimes and potentially even engaging in sexual acts to keep himself alive.

Is cornered by Batman and taken in after Dick Grayson quits/is fired

Becomes the second Robin, but is known for being the harsher, more brutal Robin.

Is killed by Joker after being tortured, but somehow comes back to life and regains senses through the Lazarus Pit

Resolves himself to be better than Batman by basically being Batman but kills people.

Where there has been a lot of conflict in the fandom is the fact that Jason Todd is not a character that is written consistently. DC Comics loves to go with the narrative that Jason was "bad from the start" and was the "bad robin" when, yes, he has trouble controlling his anger, but he also still is just as invested in seeing the best of Gotham City and trying to be a positive change for the world as any other DC Comics hero.

Where I get frustrated with the fandom is its ability to knit-pick every detail of a comic they don't like while completely disregarding everything that makes the comics great and worth it to read. My example being Urban Legends. To which most people had pretty mixed reactions to. I was critical of the comic at first but as it went along I ended up really liking it. I have a feeling DC Comics went to Chip Zdarsky and told him he had 6 issues to bring Jason back into the Bat Family, and honestly he didn't do a bad job. Did it feel rushed? Absolutely. I wish there was more development of Jason and Bruce's characters and their dynamic as a whole. However, where I see a lot of people being angry and upset with Urban Legends is that they feel Zdarsky needlessly wrote Jason as an incompetent fool who needs Bruce to save him.

Whether or not that was the intention of Zdarsky is up to debate. However, and this may be controversial, but I don't think he wrote Jason Todd out of character at all. For as fearsome, intimidating, and awesome as Red Hood is. Jason is a character who is absolutely driven by his emotions. Why do you think he donned the role of Red Hood? As a response to his anger towards The Joker for killing him, and towards Bruce for not taking action against The Joker and for seemingly replacing him so quickly after he died. Jason didn't care about being the murderous Robin Hood or for being the bloody hammer of justice against N*zi's and P*d*ph*les. He only cared originally about making The Joker and Bruce pay. It wasn't until he trained under the best assassins in the world and realized most of them were horrific criminals who trafficked children and were p*dos that Talia began to realize that the teachers that she sent Jason to train under started dying horrific and painful deaths.

The entire story of the Cheer story in Batman Urban Legends was started because it finally forced some consequences upon Jason. Tyler, aka Blue Hood's father was a drug dealer who gave his supply to his wife and kids. And when Tyler's father admitted he gave the drugs to Tyler, it immediately made him fall within the self-imposed philosophical kill-list of Jason Todd. And Jason, well, he proceeds to kill Tyler's father. When this happens, Jason is in shock. Tyler's dad fit the bill to easily and justifiably be killed by Jason. We've never seen Jason having to deal with the consequences of being a murderous vigilante on a micro-level. When Jason realizes what he's done in that he's murdered Tyler's dad, he's shocked. He tells Babs the truth. He does a rational thing because he's in shock. He doesn't know what to do, he never has had to face the consequences of his actions as Red Hood and now the gravity of befriending a child as a vigilante hero who kills people just set in when he killed the father of the same child he was just introduced to.

(Oh here's a little aside because it had to be said, Jason would not have been a good father or a good mentor to Tyler and absolutely should not have been his new Robin. Jason is a man who is in his early 20's (not saying men in their early 20's can't be good fathers at all) who is a brutal serial killer using the guise of a vigilante anti-hero to let him escape most of the law. the complications of having the man who murdered your father adopt you and make you his sidekick are way too numerous for me to explain in a long-winded already heavy Tumblr essay post. There's a reason why we don't advocate for a story where Joe Chill adopted Bruce Wayne or one where Tony Zucco took in Dick Grayson.)

The next biggest argument is that they feel that Jason is giving up his guns as a means to just be invited back into the Bat-Family. To which I will tell anyone who has that argument to go actually read Urban Legends. Already have and still have that argument? Please re-read it. Don't want to? That's okay, I will paste the images from the comic where Jason specifically says that he doesn't want to give up his weapons for Bruce and his real reasoning down below since the comic isn't exactly readily accessible.

Jason gave up the guns because he felt the gravity of what he had done and knows how it'll effect Tyler. Thankfully his mom is alive and in recovery. But Tyler doesn't have a father anymore. And Jason killed Tyler's father. It may have been in accordance to Jason's philosophy, but it was a case where it blurred the lines. Jason Todd isn't a black and white character, just very dark gray. He doesn't kill aimlessly like the Joker. If you are on Jason's list you probably have done something pretty horrific, and also just in general, being in his way or being a threat to him. Mind you, in early days of Red Hood and the Outlaws (Image below) Jason almost killed 10 innocent civilians in a town in Colorado all because they saw him kill a monster. That being said, Jason isn't aimless in his kills.

(Also can we just take a moment to appreciate Kenneth Rocafort's art? DC Comics said we need to rehabilitate Jason Todd's image and Kenneth Rocafort said hold my beer: It's so SO GOOD)

That being said, the key emphasis in the story of Cheer asides from trying to introduce Jason Todd back into the Bat Family and give an actual purpose for him being there, other than him just kind of being there ala Bowser every time he shows up for Go Kart racing, Tennis, Golf, Soccer, and the Olympic games when Mario invites him, is that Jason and Bruce ultimately both want the same thing. Jason wants to be welcomed back into the family and to be loved and appreciated. Bruce want's Jason back as his son and wants to love and protect Jason. Both of these visions are shown in the last chapter of Cheer while under the effect of the Cheer Gas. It's ultimately this love and appreciation they both have for each other that helps them overcome their challenge and win.

Jason Todd is a character who, just like Bruce, has been through so much pain and so much hate in his life. The two are meant to parallel each other. While Bruce chose to see the best in everyone, giving every rogue in his gallery the option to be helped and give them a second chance, hence why he never kills, Jason has a similar view on wanting to protect the public, but he understands that some crimes are so heinous they cannot be forgiven, or that some habitual criminals are due to stay habitual criminals, and need to be put down. But at the end of the day, the two of them both try to protect people in their own ways.

I am aware that through the writings of various DC Comics authors such as Scott Lobdell and Judd Winick, the two have had a very tumultuous relationship. And rightfully so, I am by no means saying that Scott Lobdell writing an arc where Bruce literally beats Jason to within an inch of his life in Red Hood and the Outlaws, nor Judd Winick's interpretation of Under the Red Hood where Bruce throws the Batarang at Jason's neck, slicing his throat and leaving him ambiguously for dead at the end of the comic is appropriate considering DC Comics seems to be trying everything they can to integrate Jason back into the family. That being said, a lot of these writings have shaped the narrative of Jason and Bruce's relationship and have an integral effect on the way the fandom views the two. It doesn't help that Zdarsky acknowledged Lobdell's life-beating of Jason by Bruce at the very end of Cheer by having Bruce give Jason his old outfit back as a means of mending the fence between the two of them. That does complicate a lot of things in terms of how they are viewed by the fandom and helps to cause an even greater divide between the two.

Regardless, I want to emphasize the fact that Jason Todd is a part of the family of his own accord. Yes, he's quite snarky and deadpan in almost every encounter. However, Jason is absolutely a part of the family and has been for a while of his own will. There's a great moment in Detective Comics that emphasizes this. Jason cares about his family because it is his found family. Yes, they may be warry about him and use him as a punching back and/or heckle him. At the end of the day, we're debating the family dynamics of a fictional playboy billionaire vigilante whose kleptomania took the form of adopting troubled children and turning them into vigilante heroes. Jason Todd wants a family that will love and support him. This is a key definition of his character at its most basic. This was proven during the events of Cheer and is being reenforced by DC Comics every time they get the opportunity to do so.

Now, none of this is to say that I hate Judd Winick. I do not, I don't like the fact that in all of his writings of Jason, he just writes him as a dangerous psychopath, and Winick himself admits to seeing Jason as nothing much more than a psychopath. Yet Winick is the one who the majority of the fandom clings to as the one true good writer of Jason Todd because 'Jason was competent, dangerous, smart' Listen, friends, Jason is all of that and I will never deny it. However, what I love about Jason isn't that he's dangerously smart of that writers either write him as angsty angry Tumblr sexyman bait or that they write him as an infantile man child with a gun. There's a large contention of this fandom that has an obsession with Jason Todd being this vigilante gunman who is hot and sexy and while I definitely get the appeal. It is very creepy and downright disturbing that all of you hyperfixate on his use of guns and ability to be a murderer. It is creepy and I'm not necessarily here for it.

What I love about Jason Todd is that despite all of the pain, all of the heartache, all of the betrayal, and bullying, and death, and anguish. Jason Todd is one of the most loving and supportive characters in all of DC Comics. Jason has been through so much in his life, but he still chooses to love. He still chooses to see the bright side in people. Yes, he takes a utilitarian approach and chooses to kill certain villains, but at the end of the day he wants to see a better world, and he wants to be loved. It takes so much courage and so much heart to learn to love again after one has been abused or traumatized. I would not blame Jason at all if he said fuck it and just went full solo and vigilante evil. He has every right to, but he still chooses to be with the Bat Family of his own accord. That's something that I see a lot of in myself. I have been through a lot of trauma and yet I try to be a better person myself in any way that I can. It is extremely admirable of Jason to allow love back into his heart when he really doesn't need to. He kills and he protects because he has this love of society. It may have been shaped by anger and hatred, but Jason has found his place amongst people who love him and value him. I think Ducra, from Red Hood and the Outlaws put it best in the image given below.

To end this tangent, I love Jason Todd and all of his sexy dangerousness, but it's far more than that. As much as Jason may be dangerous and snarky, he loves his family without a shadow of a doubt. I look up to Jason Todd because despite all of his pain and all of his trauma, he still choses to love. Jason Todd is a character who is someone I love because despite all of his flaws and having a very toxic fandom, he still serves as a character filled with so much heart and so much passion. I wish more writers would understand that. But for now I will live with what I have. Even though the fandom may be vocal about it's hatred for his characterization, I choose to love Jason regardless because he is a character who chooses love and acceptance regardless of his pain. Jason Todd is by no means a good person in any sense of the word. He has easily killed upwards of 100 people by now. He is a character who is flawed and complex but ultimately is one who powers forwards and finds love and heart in a place from so much pain and anguish. That is what I love about Jason Todd. After all, to quote a famous undead robot superhero, "What is grief, if not love persevering?" Jason Todd chooses to love despite all of the trauma and pain and grief. Yes, he is hardened in his exterior, but inside there is a man with a lot of love to give and someone who deserves the world in my eyes.

[ilikekidsshows]

Hey, I was wondering if you could talk more about what you thought about the conflict that happened between Ladybug and Chat Noir in the new york special?

Certainly. Mainly, it’s the same issue we saw in ‘Glaciator’ but manifesting in a different way: these two tend to misunderstand the relationship between them because of their personal experiences and expectations, which tend to naturally be in conflict because of the very different pasts the two characters have. I also think the conflict was two-sided and only one side of the issue at hand was solved. We had Cat Noir’s dishonesty and Ladybug’s inability to act as a comforter, with only the former being solved.

Since it's the one that gets resolved and it's more straightforward, let's start with Cat Noir's side. He's the child of a strict, emotionally abusive father and we've repeatedly seen that he projects his relationship with his father into his relationship with Ladybug, and here it happens again. Gabriel would not let Adrien do what he doesn't allow and we've seen what he does when Adrien disappoints him: punishes him severely.

Strict parents don’t raise obedient children, they raise children who lie well. And Adrien had more of a motive to be deceitful than most. This special was the first time Ladybug gave him responsibility over something. If he said he couldn’t do it, would she ever trust him with anything again? Or, would she simply tell him to suck it up and do as he’s told, forcing Adrien to choose between her and his father in their demands of him? And Plagg, who I will point out, has been actively more helpful in season three, actually helped Adrien come up with a plan that, to their reasonable expectations, would not have led to anyone being hurt or disappointed, so Adrien obviously saw that simply not letting Ladybug know that he wouldn’t be physically present in Paris would work out. Adrien even was responsible about it; he kept himself actively informed of the situation in Paris up until he was made to put his phone away. And then things went to hell in a handbasket at the worst possible moment.

However, here comes the fault in Adrien’s reasoning, which was very reasonable to him and his implied-to-be equally abused Kwami: Ladybug is nothing like Gabriel. Marinette would have heard him out and they’d have come up with a plan together to deal with the situation, as long as Cat Noir got a hold of her soon enough for them to meet up and make a plan. We don’t really know what the time frame is between Adrien finding out and the departure of the plane to New York, but, considering Plagg stopped Adrien from contacting Ladybug, and no time constraint was mentioned, they’d have had plenty of time.

This is the beginning and end of Adrien’s half of the conflict. After this point, he’s merely reacting to what he thinks are clear signals from Ladybug. He tries to help with the villain the best he can, while Ladybug keeps distracting him by berating him in the middle of the fight, finally breaking his will to fight entirely by declaring she can’t trust him anymore, one of the nightmare scenarios I mentioned earlier. Add to that the villain using his power to harm Uncanny, he was convinced that Ladybug would be better off with any other partner. When Ladybug didn’t refute his assessment that he was a failure and no good hero, he decided he was right and abandoned his ring. However, when Uncanny revealed to him that Ladybug did, in fact, still need him specifically as her partner, he came back, deciding that it didn’t matter if he was a worthless failure as long as Ladybug would find a use for him anyway. Adrien repeatedly describes himself negatively in comparison to others, his self esteem is awful, but that wasn’t really a matter being handled in the special.

When Cat Noir made it to Ladybug and was instantly welcomed back, he apologised for not being honest and Ladybug signalled her forgiveness with a fistbump. This gesture signalled to Adrien that he could trust Ladybug and that Ladybug trusted him back, that the things she’d said in anger were just that. This showed Adrien in a blatant way that Ladybug was nothing like Gabriel, who would have lorded Adrien’s failure over him and punished him, instead of accepting his assurance that he’ll do better next time. This was an important lesson to Adrien, because he needs to be as honest with Ladybug as their secret identities allow because they’re a team and can’t go doing things independently when it affects them both. Adrien’s experiences in the special are ones that will specifically help him overcome his character flaw of being too distructful of others’ intentions when it comes to Ladybug.

Then comes Marinette’s side, and this one is more complex. While how badly she was distracted in that fight and how badly she distracted Cat Noir was an issue in and of itself, it wasn’t the thing on her part that escalated the conflict. It was merely what set up her state of mind. What escalated the conflict were the things she said in anger that she didn’t take back while Cat Noir was clearly falling apart. Marinette was understandably upset by what happened in Paris, but she made a very big mistake with how she handled that: she focused only on herself. Marinette needed comfort because she couldn’t heal Paris, but Cat Noir needed comfort because they could do nothing to help Paris, he’d just temporarily killed someone and he felt like a failure as a partner. But, when Cat Noir didn’t instantly move to assure her that she was fine, Marinette turned her back on him and walked away. She wanted space, because Marinette usually finds a quiet corner to think when she’s dealing with something, but Adrien saw that as a rejection. And when Cat Noir voiced all these things going on in his mind, she was silent, making him feel like she was condemning him, seeing him as worthlessly as he did. So he decided to leave her so that she could find a better partner.

Marinette also has her own misconceptions about her and Cat Noir’s relationship. This is another thing I noticed in ‘Glaciator’: Marinette doesn’t think Cat Noir is an actual human being with real human emotions and problems. She got better about it after ‘Glaciator’, like accepting his feelings for her as genuine, but she still doesn’t understand that Cat Noir can get hurt emotionally and might need a bit of support every once in a while. In fact, in ‘Timetagger’, she blatantly shuts him down when he’s looking for affirmation, claiming he “already knows he’s the best”, when Adrien actually has very poor self esteem. I mentioned in another comment that Marinette sees Cat Noir as a fae-like being, someone who only goofs around and supports her, and is never touched by worldly things like pain and sadness. The only threat to him are the supervillains they face. Every time one of them has shown a need for comfort, it’s been Ladybug, and Cat Noir has always been the one to comfort her. They’re stuck in these roles, and Marinette doesn’t know how to break out of them when Cat Noir is the one needing comfort and support. To drive this aspect of the conflict home, this is the direct reverse of the situation in ‘Miracle Queen’. In ‘Miracle Queen’, Marinette makes a mistake with real consequences, gets Fu’s identity revealed to Hawk Moth which led to his capture, but Cat Noir overlooks that to support her instead. In the special, Cat Noir’s mistake causes property damage in Paris that they can’t undo, but Marinette can’t overlook it to support her partner through his mistake.

Here’s the thing: Marinette has a good life. She has a supportive family and supportive friends. This gives her a solid foundation as a superhero and it means she’s used to people picking her up when she falls down. It’s not just her relationship with Cat Noir that’s characterized by the idea that support just shows up when she needs it. Heck, at the end of ‘Love Hunter’, Luka seemingly magically appears for the sole purpose of giving Marinette some comfort. However, we’ve seen some hints, mostly in ‘Weredad’, that at least her dad wants to overly protect her. We don’t know how well Marinette would actually take Adrien rejecting her, but, considering how miserable she was repeatedly in season two over just not getting to see him, I suspect not well, and her dad was convinced she’d go as far as being easily shattered by that. Children need to feel small disappointments to be able to handle the actual hurdles they’ll face later in life. The way Marinette becomes an anxious mess over failing at something reminds me of myself as a teenager, and I was a very shielded child. My mom pampered me, not by much, but enough that I had to learn to pick myself and others up at a later age. And I feel that’s a lesson Marinette needs to learn as well.

We saw from what Marinette said to Uncanny that she didn’t think Cat Noir’s mistake was irreparable. She didn’t mean the gestures I described earlier as how Adrien saw them. She didn’t mean to turn her back on him to reject him and she didn’t mean her silence to be read as her agreeing that he was a bad partner. But she never once considered that she might be sending Cat Noir these signals, even as Cat Noir told her how he felt about himself in relation to her. Instead of supporting her partner by saying anything to refute his self-disparaging comments, or even sharing their pain together, Marinette remains silent, experiencing her own pain alone and leaving Cat Noir with his. Marinette is a good leader, but she’s not a good partner, because she lacks the ability to support Cat Noir. This isn’t her fault, it’s a character flaw like Adrien’s distrust of others to consider his well being in any scenario. However, it’s one that’s harder to fix than Adrien’s, because Adrien’s flaw is one of perception, so he just needs to see contrary evidence to learn better. Marinette’s issue is that she lacks important skills for comforting someone: spotting a need and responding to it. I’m pretty sure we haven’t seen Marinette actively comfort anyone during the entire series. It’s very likely she’s never had to do so before the moment with Cat Noir in this special.

This is why Adrien leaving her was so important to Marinette’s future growth as a partner specifically. Technically Marinette needed it to happen. Marinette had to learn that you can’t expect someone to be there indefinitely if you never let them know you want them there, and she had to learn that Cat Noir needs her to reciprocate the supportive relationship between them instead of only enjoying the benefits of her partner’s almost unwavering support. An unequal relationship will not last. If you just keep someone around for their comfort, they’ll leave you once they have none left to give. If you just keep someone around for their good days, they’ll leave you once their bad days come. But in this special we saw Marinette taking the first steps towards realizing her partner’s humanity, ergo, fixing the part of the issue that’s in her perception: she was still thinking about him when she was Marinette. I noted in ‘Glaciator’ that Marinette usually stops thinking about Cat Noir once she’s Marinette again, which is part of that whole “seeing him as otherworldly” thing. Breaking out of that mindset is as important as it is for Adrien to break out of the “everyone would turn on me if I didn’t please them 24/7” one.

Basically: the conflict was resolved, but it showed where development still needs to happen.

[mochegato]

Hope on Board

Chapter 29 – Truth Will Out

Chapter 1     Chapter 28

Marinette slowly, carefully closed the bedroom door. She waited next to the door with her hand on the knob for a few seconds just to make sure Rob really had fallen asleep and wouldn’t start crying again.  Hearing no noise for a full minute, she let out the breath she had been holding in case the sound from her breath woke him up.  

She gently removed her hand from the knob and silently padded toward the library, which had quickly become their regrouping center, much to Jason’s annoyance.  However it was right across the hall from the room their family was staying in while at the manor and it had almost immediately been annexed as a place where she and Dick could relax and talk to people while still being close enough to hear the twins when they woke up.  For quick naps and showers while the twins were sleeping, they used Dick’s room, which was just a little further down the hall.  But the library offered a place that was more open to the whole family.

“And thank you two for not meowing or trying to sneak past me,” she cooed at Kismet and Alfred as she walked.  All of the animals in the house had taken a liking to the twins and more often than not, Marinette or Dick were woken up by one of them scratching at the door to get into the bedroom so they could curl up with one of the twins or lay down at the base of one of the cribs.  

As long as they were quiet about it and didn’t wake up the twins, Marinette thought it was absolutely adorable.  However, those rare times when their scratching or barks or meows woke up the twins, Marinette would send them a glare that had the dogs running with their tails between their legs and the cats… well, not really reacting at all until Marinette got the water bottle.

“He sleeping?” Dick asked looking up as she came in and chuckling at the line of animals trailing behind her.

“Welcome home.  And yes. We have a little bit of time before they wake up again,” she smiled at him, slumping onto the couch next to him.

He hugged her into his unbandaged side, chuckling into her hair.  “You want to take a nap?”

Marinette made a vaguely groan sounding noise and pushed away from him just enough to angle her head up to look at him with a sleepy smile.  “I’ll do that during their next nap.  I think I should eat during this one.”

“Do you want me to talk to Alfred?” he offered, half getting up as he spoke.

“I can make something for her,” Adrien offered, waving him down.  “Or let Alfred know so he can.  You can rest if you want.”

“Thanks, Adrien,” Dick gave him a grateful smile. “Actually, I think I’m going to shower. Get the Academy off of me.”

Marinette pulled her shirt away from her body and eyed it suspiciously.  “Yeah, I’m not sure when the last time I took one was.  Maybe I should do that during the next nap time instead.”  

Dick chuckled and pulled her closer.  “You know, you could always take a shower with me…” he whispered into her hair.

Marinette blushed deeply and pushed his face away.  “Yeah, not there yet.  Food, sleep, nap, shower.  Those are my priorities right now.  And I’m extremely negotiable on the shower part.”

“Two of those were the same thing, Bug,” Adrien shook his head.

She narrowed her eyes and pointed at him as if challenging him.  “All four can be the same thing if I try hard enough.”

Dick rolled his eyes but laughed in spite of himself. “You’ve been hanging out with Stephanie too much.”

Marinette scoffed.  “If anything that’s Alya’s influence…” her eyes suddenly widened. “Oh God.  They can never meet.”

Adrien scoffed this time.  “Alya got that from you, not the other way around.  You and Steph are the danger duo.  Although you, Steph, Cass, and Alya… I’d be afraid for Gotham.”

Dick shuddered at the thought.  The sheer chaos of it.  “Just make sure I’m not on duty that night, please.”

Marinette giggled and rested her head on his shoulder. “How was the first day, Cadet Grayson?”

“Eh,” he shrugged.  “Boring.  Introductory stuff.  Not that I’m expecting it to get better.  I’ve known more about police procedure than most officers since I was eight.  I can already pick out some of the cadets who joined as a power play.  I also recognized a few people I bus…” he looked over to Adrien with a grimace, “…who I know I’ve seen on the news after the bats busted them.  Which means either the person in charge of vetting entrants didn’t do their job, ignored the records, or someone on the force expunged their records.  I already let Gordon know,” he gave out a tired sigh.

“You sound like you need a nap,” Marinette poked him in the cheek.

He hummed noncommittally as he caught her hand and brought it up to his lips for a kiss, causing Marinette to blush again and bury her head in his shoulder.  If he kept doing little things like that, she didn’t know how much longer her resolve was going to last.  But it had to last.  They had to wait until they figured out their issues.  They couldn’t rush it.  

“Shower first, then we’ll see what the twins allow for,” he smiled at her.

“How long will Clover and Hood sleep?” Adrien asked too innocently for his comment to not be intended to get a reaction.

“I hate you,” Marinette grumbled into Dick’s shoulder, but made sure it was loud enough for Adrien to hear.  Adrien laughed hard at her reaction but immediately tamed it down after the glare Marinette shot him.  If he woke up the twins, she really would hate him.

“Clover and Hood?” Dick asked unsure, looking back and forth between Adrien and Marinette.

“Lucy, Lucky, Four Leaf Clover, Clover.  Robert, Rob, Robin, Robin Hood, Hood.” Marinette elaborated into his chest.

Dick stared at her for a few seconds, letting the logic train sink in.  He glanced over to Adrien in time to catch his smug grin.  He leaned down to whisper in Marinette’s ear.  “We can’t let him call him after Jason.”

Marinette gave him a flat look.  “You explain it without telling him who you are,” she whispered back, working hard to keep the smirk off her face.  She knew Adrien knew who Dick was, but Dick didn’t know and was still trying hard to keep it a secret.  Adrien knew that too, which is why he was having so much fun pushing his buttons.

“You can’t call my son ‘Hood’.  You can’t go around yelling ‘Hood’ at a kid.  People are going to think he’s a thief or that you saw Red Hood,” Dick finally reasoned.  Marinette pouted at how he handled it.  It was entirely too quick and well thought out.  She was hoping for something more dramatic.

Adrien pouted at him.  “Fine.  That makes sense.  I’ll come up with something else.”

“Good.  That was subpar effort, K…” she suddenly woke up slightly and blinked a few times. “Uh… sorry.  That was a terrible effort, Adrien.”  Adrien gasped dramatically, pulling his hand to his chest in mock offense.

Dick laughed.  “Okay, I’m getting up.  You’re going to have to find another warm pillow.”  Marinette mumbled something that might have been an objection, but made no move to stop him.  He scooted out from under her, kissing her on the head as he left.

Adrien was trying to get Marinette to tell him what she wanted to eat and keep her awake as he was leaving.  Dick shook his head and wished him good luck with that.  When Marinette crashed, it was hard, a bit like Tim after a bender on a case.  A tuba couldn’t wake her up.  And yet, the slightest whimper from one of the twins would.  He shook his head.  Must be a hormonal thing.

He let out a deep sigh as he made his way to his bedroom to take a shower.  He wished they were going to take a shower together, or a nap together… or something more, but they weren’t there yet, and he knew that.  They were still figuring out some lingering trust issues. Marinette trusted him, but not when it came to not lying about something he thought was important, which was fair, because that was something he needed to settle with himself.  

He was so used to deceiving people to cover his vigilante work and to do what needed to be done, he was having a hard time remembering he didn’t have to do that with Marinette.  It had been ingrained in him that he was the leader and therefore took the brunt of the decision and all the worst of the consequences, so he forgot he was supposed to be sharing responsibility and decisions with Marinette for the rest of his life.  The things he was doing were the way Batman would do them and he wasn’t Batman.  He didn’t want to be Batman.  That wasn’t his dream.  His dream was having a loving family, preferably the one he had already started.  He wanted to be Lucy and Robert’s father.  He wanted to be Marinette’s husband, someday.  He had to change how he thought to make his dreams come true.  He had to retrain his brain and it was taking time.  

He turned on the shower and started to undress before remembering he left his shower things in the bathroom off the family bedroom. He groaned, dreading the idea of going back into that room while the twins were sleeping.  Lucy was like her mom, she could sleep through most things, except the animals making noise.  Robert however inherited his father’s tendency to wake up at the slightest sound.

He anxiously looked around for something else to use, but there wasn’t anything in his bedroom or bathroom.  He groaned again, turned off the shower, and padded back to the family bedroom.  He paused outside the room to prepare himself and plan how he could be as quiet as humanly, or possibly even more than humanly, possible.  His whole body went rigid when he heard talking in the room.  Nobody was supposed to be in the room.  Marinette had left it with just the twins.  She would never have left so calmly if anyone else were in it, even a family member.  

“Come on, Sugar Cube.  This is offensive.  Look at this long nosed monstrosity.  It should be a cat.  I should accidentally destroy…”

Dick stopped listening at the word ‘destroy’.  He tensed for a fight and burst into the room with a yell.  The two figures hovering over the cribs squeaked in surprise and the elephant stuffie Marinette had made, which seconds before had been in the black one’s hands… paws? In the black one’s grip suddenly evaporated in a stream of dust and ash.  Dick froze in surprise unable to make sense of the image in front of him.

Marinette and Adrien rammed into Dick in their rush to check out what was happening.  The push broke Dick of his paralysis.  He moved between the floating figures and the twins.  “Who are you?  What do you want?”  He quickly picked up Robert when he started fussing at the sudden noise.

“Plagg… Why is there a pile of ash on the floor?” Marinette glared at him.

“Pla… you know what these creatures are?” Dick whipped around to stare at her.

“Yes,” Marinette admitted with an annoyed glare at Plagg.  “Let’s get Robert back to sleep and talk in your room.”

Dick looked at her incredulously.  The red figure obediently flew through the wall into the next room, but the black one stared at him as if challenging him.  Adrien silently moved over to it and grabbed it by the tail to fling it out the door with a huff.  Dick slowly turned to Marinette, staring at her questioningly. She gave him a strained smile and gently took Robert out of his arms.  She laid him in the crib, gently rocking him in his swaddle in the crib and turned on the mobile above his bed.  It took a few more minutes, but Robert was soon sleeping again.  She motioned out of the room with a comforting smile.

Dick glared at her, but followed her to his room as requested.  She carefully closed the door behind them.  As soon as she got to his room she glared at the black figure.  “Plagg, what the hell just happened?”

“Hey!  It’s not my fault!  Pompous circus boy was supposed to be in the shower in his room.  Instead he’s sneaking around like a fox and scared me.”  He flew toward Dick but Adrien grabbed his tail again to stop him. “Talk to the annoyance, not me,” he grumbled crossing his arms over his chest.

“I am talking to the annoyance,” Marinette gritted out.

“That hurts, Bug,” he responded in a mock hurt voice.

“Not as much as it’s going to.  No camembert for a month,” she growled.

“A month!”  His eyes suddenly were as large as the rest of him.

“Are you kidding me right now?” she exclaimed loudly. “You’re objecting to a month? You’re lucky it isn’t six!”

“Bug, have mercy on a poor, innocent, protective cat,” he bent his knees and brought together his hands as though he were praying in front of her.

“It was my nursery!  And my pompous circus boy you just exposed yourself to,” she threw her hands up in the air in frustration.

“Hey!  I have no idea what’s going on here, but I’m fairly confident I’m justified in objecting to that,” Dick interjected.

Marinette looked over to him as if just remembering he was in the room.  She groaned and pinched the bridge of her nose.  “It would have been so much better if this happened after a nap.  I…” she collapsed on the edge of the bed.  “I don’t know where to start.”

“You knew those things were here.”  It was a statement not a question.

“Yes,” she confirmed with a short nod.

“And you didn’t think it was worth mentioning?” he questioned, skepticism lacing his voice.  This wasn’t some small thing, some small secret.  These were magic, probably, creatures roaming around his kids and his home.  Creatures Marinette knew about and never discussed with him.  Creatures Marinette exposed his children to and never discussed with him.

“You didn’t think your nightly activities were worth mentioning when you were missing half the pregnancy?” Marinette raised her eyebrow with a pointed look.

Dick grimaced slightly.  “Okay, point taken.  But I remember getting yelled at for keeping it from you.  I remember you breaking up with me for keeping it from you and you were keeping something just as big from me.”

“No, you got yelled at for lying.  We broke up because I couldn’t trust you after all the lies.  I was asking you questions and you were lying in response.  We were still finding out about each other, figuring each other out, deciding how much to trust one another.  I told you before, you were and are allowed to have secrets and that I had some too. This is one of them.”

“Okay fine.  I don’t know that I agree with that logic, but okay.  Let’s shelve that to come back and bite us later.  But can someone explain…” he motioned toward the floating figures.

“Well you see…” Adrien started, rubbing the back of his neck.

“I think he means me,” Marinette interrupted.  The exhaustion seeping out of her voice and listless posture.

Adrien looked between the two of them.  “Oh, right.  Why don’t I…” he looked around uncertainly.  “Why don’t I leave you to it then?”  He turned to look at Marinette sincerely.  “Unless you want me to stay around, just in case.”  He eyed Dick suspiciously.

“I’ll be okay, Kitty,” she assured him.  “We were going to have this conversation soon anyway. This just pushed it forward by a few weeks.”

“I’ll stay, just in case,” Plagg insisted, floating up in front of Dick’s face with a malicious grin.

“No, you won’t.  Not if you’re going to threaten my babies’ father,” Marinette chastised sternly.

“Fine!  No threatening him.  I’ll just stay… and keep Tikki company,” Plagg offered petulantly.

“No.  I don’t want either of you here,” Dick objected.  Plagg looked affronted but Tikki gave him a look of understanding and started tugging him toward Adrien.  “I don’t want creatures with unknown powers, actively destroying things, to be around my children.”

“Why don’t I take them both tonight?  You guys should be pretty safe here in the manor.  If you need us, we’re just a phone call away,” Adrien assured her.  He opened his pocket for the kwami.  Tikki zipped over to him but Plagg held his position, attempting to stare down Dick. He was fuming from the suggestion that he would ever hurt the twins.  He’d been with the twins more than Dick had and yet Dick was kicking him out!  The unmitigated gall!

“Thank you, Adrien,” Marinette answered quietly.  “Plagg,” she spoke up.  He kept facing Dick but his ears twitched indicating he had heard her. “Plagg, thank you for everything you’ve done.  Let me speak to Dick alone please.”

Plagg huffed at her.  “I don’t wanna.”

“I know,” Marinette moved over to him and scratched between his ears.  “But, Adrien’s right.  We’ll be safe tonight.  You’ve been on babysitting duty for seven months straight.  You can take a break for one night.”

Plagg huffed at her again, still refusing to move. Tikki flew out of Adrien’s pocket to tug on him.  “Come on, Stinky Sock.  Let them have some time alone.”  

Plagg finally acquiesced, but sent a final glare to Dick.  “Fine. But if he hurts her…”

Tikki pushed him again.  “He won’t hurt her.  Come on protective cat.  You’re causing more damage than good.”

Adrien let out a relieved sigh and nodded to them. Just before leaving the room he turned and gave a pointed look to Marinette before shifting his eyes down to his ring with a nod.  Marinette smiled at him with an understanding nod at his wordless permission to divulge his identity.

She slowly turned back to Dick.  She shifted anxiously from foot to foot, her entire body tense. This was not the way she wanted to tell him, but then again Dick hadn’t gotten to dictate the terms of either of his reveals either.  Neither of them got to prepare for the deep, meaningful conversations.  But, even if timing might be against them, she had faith they could do this.  They had always been able to communicate, excepting the lying portion, they had always been able to talk through their concerns and worries.  She just had to breathe and be honest.  They could do this.

Dick studied her carefully trying to read the situation from her body language.  She was nervous, but not at all about the creatures.  She was completely at ease with them despite the stuffie incident. And Marinette was one to catastrophize. She was more likely to anticipate the worst than just blithely accept it.  Which meant she is thoroughly familiar with them and their powers.  She was completely confident they did not pose a threat to their children.  No, that wasn’t what she was nervous about.  She was nervous about him and how he was going to react to the situation. He sighed and leaned against the desk. Their lives were a complicated mess. “Let’s start slow.  What did you mean he’s been on babysitting duty for the last seven months?” Dick finally asked.

“Plagg has been with me constantly since the pharmacy incident,” Marinette answered quietly.  “That incident scared Adrien and the kwami a lot.  They wanted Plagg to be with me too in case something else happened.  I wouldn’t transformed while pregnant, especially not with Plagg, but he could do other things, like let Adrien know where I was if I got kidnapped and lead him to me.”

Dick stared at the door Adrien had left through, the clues slowly starting to click into place.  “Because Adrien is Chat Noir.  That’s why Chat is so protective of you, because he’s Adrien.”  Dick’s mind was racing through all the implications, missing the way Marinette winced in response to his wrong assumption.  He looked over to her as something else clicked into place.  “When Chat said he had you bugged, he meant that thing.  That that thing…”

“A kwami named Plagg,” she supplied.

“That… Plagg was with you,” he finished.  She nodded.  “And that creature… Plagg, how dangerous is he?”

“Depends,” she bobbed her head to the side in a wishy-washy motion.  “Kwami are the physical embodiment of concepts.  Tikki is the embodiment of creation and good luck.  Plagg is the embodiment of destruction and bad luck, but that isn’t necessarily a bad thing.  I haven’t discussed it with Adrien, but I’m pretty sure the destruction of the Court of Owl base where they were holding me, was Plagg.  I don’t think Adrien could have done it that completely.  It had to have been Plagg.  They are linked to physical objects that a person can wield, when transformed their power is a lot more controlled by the wielder.  But Plagg has control too.”

“He accidentally destroyed a stuffie,” he gave her a pointed look.

She waved off his concern as she rolled her eyes.  “That wasn’t accidental.”

“You can’t know that,” he said cautiously.  She may be comfortable with having a creature like this around his children, but he definitely wasn’t.

“If it was accidental, there would have been a whole lot more damage and no ash trail.  The destruction would have been complete.  When he accidentally destroys things, entire cities disappear.  Entire orders of animals become extinct.  That was a controlled, focused use of his power. Likely because Robert was showing a bit too much attention to that stuffie rather than the black cat stuffie.”

“Okay…”  He eyed her suspiciously, not entirely convinced.

“Also, I should warn you.  Intentional use of his power to punish can result in destroying a cult’s stronghold or… sinking a city,” she gave him an overly wide, tense smile.

“Like Atlantis,” he nodded in realization.

“Like Atlantis,” she confirmed.  “Apparently he still holds a grudge too.  Your friend Garth, he’s Aqualad, right?  He has to be.  Plagg was acting up all night when I met your friends.  Every time Garth came near me, Plagg was pitching a fit.  I couldn’t figure out why and he wouldn’t tell me.”

“That’s what that noise was!” Dick gasped.  He had thought something was going on.  Some emergency at the office because her purse had been buzzing constantly.  “I thought your phone just kept going off.”

“No, just Plagg being overprotective and not wanting him near me.  I had to keep hitting my bag.  I’m surprised your friends didn’t think I had muscle spasm problems,” her eyes widened in embarrassment remembering that part of the night.

“Okay… so that’s why you had Plagg, because Adrien asked you to keep him.  Is it the same for the other one Teachi?  Did her wielder ask you to keep her too?” He cocked his head to the side, a slight furrow marring his brow as he tried to force the pieces together.

“Tikki.  No.” She looked away nervously and ran her hands up and down her arms to try to calm herself down.  She knew there was no reason to be nervous.  Dick wouldn’t reject her or be mad at her for having been a hero.  But he was the first person outside of her team to know.  The first new person who would find out and she could never take it back and that was terrifying.  She had to be absolutely sure of him.  

But she was.  She was sure about him.  She wasn’t sure if they would end up together.  She wasn’t sure if they would get married and have more kids, but she was absolutely sure she could trust him, at least with this much.  And she was absolutely sure she didn’t want to keep it from him any longer.  “Tikki is with me because she’s my kwami.”

“Your…” he stared at her.  His eyes suddenly widened in surprise.  “You’re Ladybug!”

“I was.  That’s why Adrien was so protective.  We were partners.  When I said we were always together during attacks, that’s why we were.  When I said we died for each other… that’s why we did,” she finished quietly.

“You were a hero,” he breathed out, barely above a whisper.

“I was,” she confirmed again with a slight laugh.  He had the most adorable gob smacked expression on his face like it was the last thing he would have ever thought, which, with the magic glamour, might be the truth.

“Oh my God!” He slapped his forehead and fell onto the bed next to her.  “I was wearing a Ladybug shirt when we first met.  You were wearing a Nightwing shirt!”

“Yeah,” she giggled.  “You’re where I was a few weeks ago.”

“That’s why Adrien and that… Plagg kept calling you bug. I thought it was because you are so small.” Marinette scowled at him but he was so caught up in the revelations and puzzle pieces finally coming together.  “But that didn’t make sense that Plagg would call you that until now.”

He turned to her, a glint of awe in his eyes.  “I remember seeing video of you in action.  I checked out Ladybug and Chat Noir after you mentioned them when we first started dating.  You were amazing.”

“Thank you,” she bowed her head graciously.

“I mean you still are.  I didn’t think I could think you were any more amazing than I already did, but you were so impressive in action.  Your moves and your confidence, your compassion and your creativity.”  He looked away to process the new information and come to grips with his newfound admiration.  He thought through some of the fights he’d seen footage of, some of the moves he remembered.  She had been absolutely amazing.  Everything he admired about Marinette but amplified because of the extreme situations. He shook his head at the fights he remembered until one of them caught in his head.  One incredulous, ridiculous, asinine move.  “You jumped into a dinosaur’s mouth!”

“I… did,” she grimaced at the reminder.  Not her best moment, but it worked.

“Oh God.  No wonder you and Jason hit it off so well.” He shook his head at the thought of the two of them fighting together.  Jumping into a situation relying on luck and determination to get them through.  They would fit far too easily together in a fight.  “Oh my God, the rest of the family is going to go insane when they find out.  Wait,” he looked over to her with a questioning look, “were you planning on telling them?”

“I… hadn’t decided yet, but I don’t think so.  I thought I might eventually tell them about being Multimouse or the dragon, but not about Ladybug.”  Dick frowned slightly.  If anyone could understand being a hero and weighing normal life with that life, it was them.  They could understand her in a way few others could.  “It isn’t that I don’t love them and trust them it’s just… you know our villain, Hawkmoth?  He wanted our miraculous because combined, it gave him a wish.  One wish that could rewrite reality.  Could destroy a continent, or a planet, could bring perpetual wealth, or health, could make one immortal or bring someone back from the dead, but at a cosmic price.  I just… I don’t know.  If your brothers knew of that power.  If your brothers lost someone and knew all they had to do to get them back was take the jewels and make a wish, but if they did there would be a price.  Do you think they would restrain themselves?  Or do you think they would find a way to sneak them away from me and Adrien to make the wish, whatever the consequences?”

Dick stared at her, a concerned frown on his face. She was right.  He knew she was.  If they lost Bruce again, he had no doubt Damian would do anything to bring him back.  If Tim ever lost Kon…  If any of them had a child that was lost…  He massaged his forehead trying to ward off the migraine he knew wanted to start with all this new information bombarding his brain.  

“That’s why I took so long to tell you.  There’s so much damage that can be done.  I’ve never… we’ve never… neither of us has ever told anyone else.  The core members of our team know, but nobody else.  There’s six people in the universe who know who we are… now seven.”  She looked at him gravely.

He took a few deep breaths and eyed her apprehensively, letting the seriousness of the situation settle over him.  Finally he nodded in agreement.  “So we don’t tell the family.  Is there more I should know?”

“If we’re going to stay together, yes.  But I don’t know if I’m ready to go there yet.  Things only Chat… Adrien knows.”  She studied him carefully for a moment before one side of her mouth quirked up a bit.  “I’ve had it drilled so thoroughly into my head that I can’t let anyone know, it feels strange to be able to be honest with someone else.  I’m glad you know.”

“I’m glad I know too.” He moved closer to her and cupped her face, gently stroking her cheek.  “I can’t wait until we both know all of each other’s secrets,” he whispered, slowly leaning toward her.

Marinette smiled.  “You have more secrets to tell,” she whispered back with a teasing smile.

“So many.” He nodded, his eyes focused entirely on her lips as he leaned closer still.  “I’ll make some up if I have to.”  He smirked at her eye roll.  He was close enough now that he could feel her breath fanning out across his face and she wasn’t backing away.  She wasn’t pushing him for space and that fact alone was making his heart soar.  

He was just about to close the gap when she quirked her head to the side and sighed.  “That sounds like Lucy, which means Rob will be up too.”  She gave him an apologetic smile and moved to go nurse them.

Dick let out an exaggerated sigh and fell back on the bed. He suddenly shot up as a thought occurred to him.  “He knew I was Nightwing and Jason is Hood when he suggested the nickname for Rob.”

Marinette laughed at the offended look on his face. “Oh, definitely.”

“That bastard.  I’ll show him.  I’ll introduce him to Wally as a punishment.  He’ll never be able to get another word in again.  Hey, wait up.”  He jumped up and rushed over to her, slinging his arm around her waist and planting a kiss on her temple.  “I’ll change their diapers for you.”

Chapter 30

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[dreaminae]

We All Need The One Friend

Chapter 15

Sure, distance makes the heart grow fonder, but it also drives the brain aloof. Or so, that was Liv's take on her current situation. Almost four weeks went by since the big family dinner blowout where Billy and Jordan learned of Liv's drinking. Four weeks since her father's overwhelming disappointment swallowed Olivia whole with a growing fear of being sent away for help once more. Four weeks since her fear led to Liv, running away for help from the one person who she hadn't been in contact with for months -- her sponsor. And four weeks since Liv was giving a large wake-up call when she found her former sponsor behind bars for attempting to steal from her very own parents.

That night Olivia saw what could be her possible future if she didn't receive proper treatment while she still had the chance. Despite her fear of being sent away, she returned home after hours of dodging calls and texts from her loved ones. She walked into her home ready to accept the help, no matter the consequences. And perhaps that why fate played into her hands.

Fore when Olivia returned home, she found both her parents welcomed her with open arms, simply content that she was alright. Following the long night, Liv was surprised to find her family already with a suitable compromise. Instead of shipping her away, Billy and Laura decided upon an intensive program that allowed Liv to remain at home while she recovered.

Later into that evening, Spencer dropped by for what they both knew would be their last moment together for a long term. Acknowledging that they both had things to work on, they agreed to delay their romance until they were both in a good place to be together for real. They weren't breaking up or taking back the feelings they once declared. No, they were -- as Liv put it that night -- 'playing the long game'. Sealing their goodbye with a heartfelt kiss, they parted ways.

Focused on her recovery, Olivia found a new sponsor and confidant in Nurse Joy. Admitting her dependency upon Alcohol, and accepting responsibility for falling off the wagon, Olivia began her road to recovery. Meanwhile, Spencer centered his time on football and plotting his plan to bring Crenshaw a state championship.

Ignoring their constant desire to be together they cut off all physical communication, choosing to stick to the everyday messages to check in on one another. It wasn't until the night of Jordan's second concussion they were able to be in each other's arms.

Utilizing each other as helping shoulder through damaging announcement of Jordan's future in football, they found comfort in their buried affections. Having each other's back when Simone dropped the marriage reveal, Spencer and Liv supported each other when confronted by Billy and Laura.

The secret marriage only adding to Liv's troubled life as Laura grounded her into the next century for her deceit. Life toppled their trivial matter with the death of Tamika, shaking Olivia's inner social justice warrior to its full-frontal.

From leaking footage of Tamika's wrongful death to protesting for the indictment of the guilty officers, Liv found something bigger to be a part of. Her best intentions leading to backfire as Laura took the heat of alleged bigoted D.A. Learning to accept her mistakes, Liv tried to make the best of a complicated issue.

She and Kia's devotion to cause, sparking Spencer to follow suit, persuading his team to take a knee during their most important game. Inspiring by the Crenshaw team their opponents took a knee in protest. As a result of more football teams following Crenshaw's players in taking a knee, Crenshaw was granted another shot at the state championship.

Everything seemed to play into Liv and Spencer's hands, except the main thing they both desired since summer. It was all in a matter of timing, and they both couldn't help but anticipate when that moment would finally arrive.

So when they found themselves planning a surprise party in honor of Spencer's mom earning her college degree, the anticipation rose to a new peak.

"So no gouging out my eyes?" Liv playfully joked, allowing herself to make a joke of the foolish comments people were making about her online.

Spencer scoffed as if insulted. "What, those pretty eyes? You crazy." His eyes drifted from the direction of her eyes to her lips.

Olivia smiled softly as he quickly shifted back to their original conversation, unsure if now was the right time for them to share that type of moment. "You gon' help me fix this came or what?" He questioned with a crooked grin.

"Yes," Liv replied with a cheeky grin as she hopped from her seat, wondering how long he'd wait to make a move.

The next hour and a half flew by with them baking the cake while making basic small talk to catch up with one another. They discussed Liv's daily meeting with nurse joy and how her recovery was coming. Liv caught Spencer up on Jordan's everyday hobbies since his time away from football, while Spencer tried his best not to admit to Liv that he was aiding in Jordan's desire to return to football. Their topics switched until they circled back to Spencer's upcoming game against Westlake, and how Olivia punishment lifted just in time for her to come see him play.

"You'll be my personal cheering section." Spencer goofed as he iced the bare cake.

"Of course. I'll be decked in your jersey number and sporting Crenshaw colors all night." Liv giggled, imaging herself ornamented in Spencer James merchandising. "I'll be shouting the loudest. Go, Spencer! Kick some Westlake ass!" She shouted cheerfully, causing Spencer to chuckle.

"And what about I finish kicking Westlake's ass?" He wondered aloud. "Do I get a prize?" He inquired with a lifted brow.

"You'll have won the state championship for Crenshaw and saved your school. What more could I give you?" Liv snickered, sipping her lemonade.

"I can think of a few things." Spencer flirted causing Liv's cheeks to redden as she swallowed her refreshment.

The knocking of the front door interrupted their flustered juncture. "I'm should...um..you know..."

"Don't worry, I will still be here when you get back." He chuckled towards her rattled nature.

He frosted the cake as Liv dealt with a package delivery on behalf of the coach baker. Shortly after leaving the package in the living room, she rrutrned. Her reserved nature now contained after she took a moment to compose herself.

She returned to the kitchen with more pep in her step resolved with knowing that the moment she and Spencer both delayed was finally arriving, and all she had to do was lead it.

Eyeing Spencer with a twinkle in her eye she cheekily leaned over close to his direction, dipping her finger in the canned frosting. "Are you sure you know what you're doing?" She inquired sassily, catching his attention as she strutted a few feet around the counter.

"Girl, you know I got skills." He responded cockily, earning a snicker from Liv as she shut the refrigerator to from putting leftover baking ingredients.

"Hey, I was thinking that we should have that graduation won't playing at my mom's party," Spencer suggested, humming his ideal tune aloud.

Olivia listened to the tune with a puzzled expression. "Umm, that's the wedding song."

Spencer eyed her strangely, confused as to how he got the two melodies muddled.

Giving him a sympathetic grin, Liv rubbed his arm, comforting him. "Hmm, you'll get it." She laughed as Spencer twisted his face in slight embarrassment. "It's okay." She added jokingly.

Rolling his eyes, Spencer gestured down to the finished cake. "Well, what do you think?"

Liv analyzed the frosted cake, impressed by how well it came out. "It's good." She complimented with growing suspicion. "Like really good." She added, smirking at Spencer. "You've done this before, haven't you?"

"Maybe like once for my moms birthday..." He dragged out, sensing that his cover was blown as he smiled crookedly. "And maybe all of Dillion's birthdays." He admitted, redhandedly causing Olivia to laugh.

"Alright, you caught me." Spencer chuckled, then grew serious. "N'all but, I just wanted to get your mind off everything." He confessed wholeheartedly, hating the low amounts of times he witnessed a real smile from Liv over the last few weeks.

"You did," Olivia assured him, touched that Spencer went found the energy to help her through the day's mess, even though she was meant to be helping him today. "You made me feel a lot better." She added, wanting him to know that his intentions were highly effective.

Spencer simply nodded, content to help in any way he could.

Liv smiled thinking back to how their last few hours together reminded her of the summer they spent together. No matter if it dumb shows or extended time at the mall shopping, Spencer remained glue to her hip just to make Liv happy. If he noticed she was having a bad day, he'd make a stupid joke to make her laugh. When she felt alone and needed someone to talk to, Spencer spent hours on the phone with her. When she felt like crumbling, he was always the rock that steadily held her up.

"You've done that before too." Olivia slipped out, letting her affection take over. Her eyes darted to his with a knowing twinkle.

Spencer observed her stature, finding Olivia in control and sure of herself. She beamed gently with a slight tilt of her head as if waiting to see what he would do next. She wanted to know if he still wanted her, and this was her way of conveying her yearning for him. With an assured confirmation that she was ready, Spencer took this as his cue.

Without saying another word he walked towards Liv, ready to give in to their passions. His head tilted in the opposing direction of Liv's as they both leaned in to close the small space between them.

However, right when their lips were about to meet Spencer's phone buzzed. Spencer grunted under his breath, annoyed by the bad timing, but reached for his phone nonetheless. Liv sucked in a tight breath, frustrated by another halted moment.

Remaining with barely an inch separating them, Liv took matters into her own hands. Literally.

"Spence," Liv mumbled, topping the hand that held his phone with the palm of her hand to gain his attention. His phone continued to buzz, as Spencer gave Olivia his awareness. "Yeah."

"It'll still be there afterward." Liv sighed with an unsure smile, gently pulling his phone out of hand. Her finger dragged across the screen, rejecting the call. "But I'm right here. Right now." She remarked, locking eyes with him, lust emitting from her own. "And I don't know about you but I'm tired of waiting." She snickered sassily, earning a smirk from Spencer.

Liv eyes danced from Spencer's brown orbs, falling to his lips, then back to his eyes. Cupping his face, she brought his lips to hers for a kiss that was weeks in the making.

[stxleslyds]

Part 2 of my Under the Red Hood Review

Hello! Here I am again with part two of this review, if you want to read the first part I will link it here!

Let’s continue!

Chapter eight gives us a look into the past, to when Jason was stealing the batmobile’s tires, to one of the first times Jason went out as Robin with Batman and everything was wonderful…then one of the scenes from the past show a Jason that may come off as a bit more aggressive on the job, it’s also shown that he does agree that the level of aggression was unnecessary but that the criminal deserved it anyway.

I know that sometimes people get the impression that Jason was an angry and extremely aggressive Robin, which is not correct, he was a sweetheart (and I am referring to Post-Crisis Jason because that’s what is in continuity in this story) just like Dick (he had forty years of being a sweetheart too, Marv Wolfman misses me with that angsty and angry shit) but I think what’s important here is the fact that Jason saw things differently from Bruce and that does not make him a bad Robin, it makes him a Robin with different experiences and as a human being he is allowed to change his views, also let’s be honest, hormones are a bitch so emotions are at an all-time high so he is bound to change. This does not mean that his death was his fault, Jason felt lost and wanted a mother and he made some decisions but Bruce was the adult and he should have paid more attention to him and his behavior so in this house the only ones to blame for Jason’s death will always be the Joker and Batman.  

Rant over.

Back to the issue we see Bruce, who has been doing tests and analyzing the coffin that Jason was supposedly buried in for hours, he is a whole ass mess but at some point in time he reaches a verdict…There was never a body in the coffin.

In chapter nine we meet Davis McCullen and Alfie Tisner who have a sort of meth lab in Black Mask or Red Hood’s territory, they don’t really know, and they also have a friend that is selling drugs to kids so yeah…they are in big trouble.

As I read I expect Hood to kind of appear out of thin air and kill them but that doesn’t happen, Batman is the one that comes crashing through a window and tells them that if they don’t pack their things and move they are dead because there is a wall full of C4 (that Jason implanted), Batman wastes no time and gets to work on disarming the bomb as he does that Jason makes himself known (trough a microphone) and tells the Bat that there is no way he can do it and that he better run too. Bruce says that the building is empty and there is no reason for him to blow it up which Jason is aware of and then suggests that Batman knows how much good it does to put a little fear into people and…boom.

Look at this little shit.

We soon find out that the building belonged to Black Mask, and that is not the only thing that Hood wants off the map, he is shown blowing up one of Masks trucks that is full of weapons. Here we also learn a bit more about his modus operandi, he never steals drugs or weapons for himself, he just destroys them and while they were expecting that behavior in what Hood deemed his territory, he is now doing it everywhere. We also find out that before he was trying to get Mask’s people to work for him but now he just kills them.

He is, however, taking his cut from wherever he can, so maybe he is building his own empire and his move as of now is eliminating the competition. This theory is proven true when Jason in all his glory and with a bazooka shoots Mask’s office floor.

Mask is pissed off and as he is screaming into the wind an angel answers his call…Deathstroke is here and he wants to play. This is not pleasing for Hood or Batman.  

Slade is working with the Society and Mask wants Hood “Serious dead. Head on a pike, guts on the pavement, me wearing a sweater vest made of his skin kind of dead.” So, Slade sends people to take care of the job.

Mask isn’t pleased though, apparently Captain Nazi (???), Hyena and an unknown third party aren’t enough for him but Slade assures him that they will get the job done, no worries.

The attack on Hood comes when some men are trying to send a “message” to him and here is where weirdo one and two bamboozle our boy.

The fight that ensues is good but is overshadowed by what Alfred says behind the scene, he talks about how Jason as Robin told him that Batman and the legend of what he could do didn’t necessarily scare the “dress ups” the way that it scared the street thugs, so as a consequence they were more dangerous, Alfred true to himself tried to explain that the dress ups probably believe different things about Batman but Jason told him something that shocked him, he said “They all know he won’t kill them.” Which is true, you, me and Alfred know it.

As Alfred continues “talking” the fight welcomes a new player, Batman. He narrates the fight and realizes that they need to team up which comes naturally to them both, in a second they are in synch just like they used to back in the cave all those years ago. As the fight is coming to an end the third party arrives…yep Count Vertigo is here, the fight doesn’t last long though, because there is adrenaline and hyenas and scents the fight is over in no time (I am not explaining that fight, it’s so weird). Captain Nazi is the only casualty and Batman isn’t happy but just like Jason I am okay with it, if he had to kill one of them let it be the Nazi.

Jason obviously leaves and taunts the Bat once more.

Alfred ends the monologue by saying that Jason never understood that it wasn’t Batman’s strength or stealth that scared his adversaries but his resolve.  

So, Batman makes a dramatic promise, “Time for this to end.” dun dun duuuuun

Chapter eleven part one opens with Alfred telling us about one of his and Bruce’s hobbies, they used to collect first editions of books and it soon became a tradition that Alfred then shared with both Dick and Jason…so when he finds a package for him and B that says “Just two to add to the pile. Cheers – Jason” Alfred immediately contacts Bruce.

Back to Black Mask, he apparently decided to set up a meeting with his right-hand men, they think that they are there to evaluate the idea of making a deal with Red Hood so he stops messing up their business and they are right! It’s just that the deal was made between Mask and Hood and it consisted in them being killed off.

 “Are you happy?” Roman asks.

“Getting there” Hood answers.

Back with Alfred we are able to see what is in the package. In it there is a lock of green hair with tissue included so yeah, now they know that Jason has the Joker, and he was nice enough to give them an address.

Once again with Mask and Hood well, let me tell you if Hood is just “getting there” then Mask is just not happy. They get into an argument, a big one, Mask says that killing all his right-hand men should be sufficient but Hood says it isn’t. It goes on for a while and Mask loses his marbles completely, apparently he put everything on the line for the deal but Hood really doesn’t give a fuck. A fist connects with Hood’s face and a fight ensues, while they do that they also yell at each other about the proper way of running the underworld, the fear factor, who is prettier, who is the best gangster and who looks better in biker clothing…you know, the important stuff.

I am not undermining the fight, believe me but it’s just that they talk, punch and throw each other across the room a lot. Sacrifice and what they are willing to do for Gotham or better said what they are willing to do TO Gotham are the last things they discuss.

Just as the end of the fight comes, we once again have Alfred talking in the background about the time Jason died and the time Bruce’s parents died and how different the two instances are, Bruce was a little boy and defenseless when his parents died but when Jason died he had everything, the training, gadgets and abilities the only thing that he lacked was time.

And as it turns out that’s about to happen once more…Batman is going to arrive to the place where Jason and Mask are going at it just in time to see Jason drop dead on the floor.

Don’t worry friends Jason isn’t dead (again) it’s just a random dude with a mustache and Mask is pissed about it, what’s new?

Jason is actually with the Joker, and by “with the Joker” I mean being annoyed by the Joker…he is ranting on and on about how he killed him, how good things come in threes like Batman, Robin and himself. At some point Joker decides that the sensible thing to do next is compare Jason still letting him live with Batman’s no killing rule and then to make matters worse compare Jason’s actions as Red Hood with his own.

I absolutely LOVE Jason in this moment, I swear seeing Joker’s smile fade away brings me joy, he tells him exactly what he doesn’t want to hear. Jason isn’t like the Bat he won’t stay and play his game; this man right here just scared the Joker and nobody can’t tell me otherwise.

Back to Batman, he is trying his best to shake Mask off but the man keeps questioning if he knows who the Red Hood is and why did he let him operate in such a brutal way for so long (and affecting his business, poor thing so sad). Batman basically tells him to stop playing victim, he thinks that Mask crossed a line that someone really didn’t want crossed and that at the end of the day he is just another gagster…which is exactly what Hood had said moments ago trough the helmet to Black Mask, in a moment of great intelligence Mask deduces that maybe Batman actually knows exactly who Hood is.

Batman of course doesn’t answer because he thinks he is slick but the cat is out of the bag. Among the ruble of the helmet that just exploded (yeah the helmet had a built in bomb, that detonated after Mask unmasked the mustache man) Batman finds a message from Hood, a place and “you know where”.

The east end, Crime Alley. That’s where Jason takes him because it’s “fitting”, after all it’s the place where they first met.

Jason tells Batman that the Joker is in the building next to them and that he has it wired to blow it up, so Batman being his stupid self says that he won’t let him kill the Joker (come on Jason why do you want to kill the nice clown man, he is such a sweetheart).

The fight between those two is about to start when the scene changes. An attack, a living bomb called Chemo is being dropped (by the Society) in Bludhaven, Nightwing’s city. And Batman has a front row seat to see the show.

Yep, it’s not a good time to make snarky comments Jason; as far as both of them know Dick Grayson is dead. And the emotion in Batman’s face is heartbreaking, we as the readers have seen impossible situations, characters surviving shit that they wouldn’t in real life but characters within comics don’t know that… so, Bruce just saw another one of his sons die. (Dick is alive though, don’t worry)

Now, Jason has been a little shit during the whole story, but do not think for a moment that the situation somehow brings any form of positive emotion within him, what happens is that he sees an emotionally compromised Batman and well, will there ever be a better chance to manipulate him into feeling even worse?

…If Batman leaves, the Joker dies. So, first choice for the Bat, either he goes to what’s left of Bludhaven and searches for Dick or he stays and doesn’t let Jason kill the Joker.

Batman chooses to fight, and once again they start the same dance but this time B has upgraded his gadgets (you will never catch him wearing the same thing twice! Shame on you!) Jason teases him a little bit about the cape and B burns his jacket…

Batman has a whole speech about how Jason won’t be able to save Gotham or be better than him…that he knows that he failed him and is trying not to do it again. But Jason says that the failure he talks about isn’t really were his problem lies.

There we have it. And I would like to ask the same thing, why is the Joker still alive? Would it actually be so bad if he were beaten to death by someone’s bare hands? (Check out Joker: Last Laugh #6 (January, 2002) for a surprise)  

But that’s not the point, Jason is mad because he doesn’t understand and he feels betrayed, if the mad man kills a fifteen-year-old and then continues to kill and you as Batman aren’t willing to break the cycle of:  1) Joker escapes Arkham 2) Joker does something evil 3) Batman fights and captures him 4) Batman sends the Joker to Arkham 4) Arkham is already corrupt and lets him out after a while or he corrupts/kills a few people into letting him out, then what kind of man are you?

Batman obviously has an answer as to why he hasn’t killed Joker yet. He doesn’t do it because it will be too easy and not only that but he has thought about it…not just killing him but torturing him BUT! he won’t. He can’t really, you see, If he does it once maybe he will never stop (there he goes, the man with a resolve of steel) if he walks the dark path once he will walk it forever. Basically, Batman has zero willpower and zero control…my dude no one believes you!!!! Jason doesn’t either but he does have something to say.

Heartbreaking, that’s the only thing I have to say about these panels, these are panels that have always stuck with me. If you want this conversation to reach a whole new level of emotion I suggest you watch Batman: Under the Red Hood (2010) it’s an animated movie and Jason Todd is voiced by Jensen Ackles (who plays Dean Winchester in Supernatural) which is probably the best casting ever, Jensen is excellent at showing emotion with his voice. I totally know that probably all of you have seen the movie but it’s so good that I really think it’s worth watching again.

It doesn’t matter how emotional it’s for us, Batman can’t and won’t kill him, not even when Jason slides him a gun…so here comes the second time Batman has to make a choice

And he does, well, he uses a batarang to slice Jason’s throat making him let go off the Joker. Jason falls to the floor, a pool of blood around him. As that happens Joker grabs the gun and aims for the dynamite left there (remember that the building was set to go off) and shoots. BOOM!

And that’s the end. All three of them survive although Batman didn’t know that Jason was going to survive, I mean can he actually tell the future or…maybe I am missing something.

And yes, that was the end, I understand that to some it’s just a shitty ending and I don’t blame you…but to me it’s genius.  

It ends with Batman betraying Jason. They don’t make up, Batman doesn’t try to come to an understanding with him, he just makes a choice, he would rather save the Joker before killing or letting Jason kill him, which is bullshit my friends because Jason has been killing this whole story and B has been aware of it.

Jason appears later in Nightwing issue #118 (May, 2006) to #122 (September, 2006) as Nightwing and with tentacles. Don’t worry, you don’t have to read that. After that he appears here and there but personally, I really didn’t catch up with him up until Batman: Battle for the Cowl.

 Anyway, I am going to end it here, I hope whoever takes the time to read this enjoys it, see you around!

[bayern-moni]

On the scale of 0-10, how much do you want to kick Madara's ass, Mito?

Mito: It goes between 7/10 in normal circumstances to 1000/10 when he purposely behaves like a scassapalle ( = pain in the ass but not quite that exactly).

Sometimes, I do want to kick his ass because it seems to be the only thing able to stop him from being too unnecessarily contrarious just for the sake of it, in a self-(and others)destructive way. Because, sometimes, Madara isn't able to see his own bullshit if nobody points it out to him, but unfortunately the only way Madara'd let himself listen to others' reason is if that person is able to beat it into him.

So be it, I'm fine with it and he is too. We made this deal and that's the start of our friendship, did you know?

So, I don't really want to kick Madara's ass per se, most of the time, even though he IS aggravating more often than what it's healthy. And grumpy, and rude, jumpy, spiteful, unforgiving, paranoid old-born man. Although his discretion, sarcastic spite and no-bullshit attitude can even be useful and entertaining when directed to the right people (and when you know how to channel him into them to prevent him from spiraling into even more twisted dramatics than those you're trying to run from). The point I'm trying to make is: you learn to handle a fight-or-fight, cornered and blunt cat and you'll know how to deal with Madara. So, I managed to reach a mutually respectful relationship with him, in spite of everything, because when he's not being ... well, himself, he's a very intelligent man and I enjoy our conversations. Although I really did want to kick his ass when I had no choice but to seal the Kyuubi into myself to help Hashirama in the Valley of the End. Because, only because HE thought that bringing a fucking Bijou at the edge of the village in order to fight Hashirama was a good idea, it does not mean that it is one. It wasn't. Not in the least, it was unnecessary and dramatic, even by his standards. I made peace with the fact I'm the first jinchuriki in Konoha early, so it's less of a big deal than it could have been, but still.

Paradoxically, I have to admit that the moments when I find him most annoying are those when he isn't even there. I'm talking about my own husband's apparent obsession with him and the (too many, if you ask me) times he just can't seem to be able to shut up about him. He told me the river story so many times I'm sure I could recite it in my sleep. I'm starting to feel like I'll be better off asking for a divorce and leave Hashirama to him out of spite. I'm sure my sanity would thank me if I did, but unfortunately I love Hashirama very much so I won't. Madara'd send him back to me within a day when the urge to strangle him for his overbearing attitude becomes too much, anyway, so it wouldn't even be a problem. In fact complaining about Hashirama's obnoxious antics with Madara is always funny, when I hear of people thinking that Hashi is a cause of contention/dislike between us I think it's just plain stupid, it's not like that at all. I know that Hashirama loves me, like he loves his brother, even Madara in a sense as well as the village.

But sometimes I feel as if all the years he spent associating his idea of peace with the alliance with the Uchiha, consequently his unwavering conviction that the only way he could achieve both was to necessarily bind Madara, the Uchiha clanhead, back to their old bond whatever it took (because it wasn't broken it was still there no matter what anyone thought it still was a gift from the divine) made him come to unconsciously link in his mind the very village's hopes of stability with Madara's own very ill-balanced stability and good will towards it.

In Hashirama's world, if Madara is pacified and he doesn't disrupt the village's armony for any reason, then the village will be fine, but the opposite is also true. Village is peace, peace is the dream, the village is the(ir?) dream (transitive property is the key here), but there's a sour, dissonant note: that's a very dangerous, unstable line of thinking, for all of us, himself and Madara included.

Because, differently from what Hashirama thinks, in Madara's vision, himself and that dream no longer coincide since when their bond was severed and it awakened his Sharingan at the river as a consequence. Their very definitions of that dream differed at the root. The mechanism stopped working, the gears need to be rearranged, not to be seen as the same as before, in order to keep working together. He's not the same as when they were little anymore and it isn't even only about Izuna's death but Madara himself. In fact it started before that, Izuna's death is one of the aggravating factors, not the trigger. Hashirama deep down knows it but he vehemently insists on ignoring it with all his might and that's what is deepening the fracture between them.

Hashirama refuses to see Madara for what he is but he wants to see only the kid he met at the river, because that kid is the one who gave Hashirama the confidence that his dream was possible. He still, genuinely, stubbornly believes that that kid still exists somewhere, because he must exist, because if Madara still believes in their village and keeps on giving him that confidence (that is, if Madara still behaves with Hashirama like that kid would, even while slowly breaking beyond repair on the inside), then eventually all will be fine and everything will adjust itself given enough time and hope. But when he doesn't, Hashirama becomes nearly paranoid and desperately tries whatever he can think of in the hope of tying Madara to their dream of the village again, this time possibly forever and indefinitely: calling him his brother (as if for Madara their real brothers weren't the only real bond while theirs is a breaking thread next to a fine but now forever severed cloth); nudging him to see Konoha villagers as they were his new family now that he lost his own (well knowing what kind of visceral bond that'd be if it were completed given that Madara is involved); giving him hope that he could be Hokage, a hope Hashirama didn't know it'd be crushed and burned to the roots by such a public humiliation. The worst part is that Hashirama doesn't even seem to be aware of half of these psychological issues of his. However, that's the person Hashirama sees, not the real Madara, never his adult, despairing, fierce-but-borderline-suicidal version. And Madara knows it, he resents it and will keep to silently poison himself with that knowledge in total, stubborn solitude until it will inevitably make him rot to the bone and erase the rest of the world with him. All of this while seeing all the underlying not-yet-born-but-still-there faults in the village's very system and Hashirama's rule! But, instead of just saying it so we can try to limit the damage, he just keeps them for himself as the indisputable proof of how the whole system is doomed to failure. To be honest, I do know why he doesn't talk, though, and that's because nobody'd listen to what is only considered an unstable, belligerent madman's apocalyptic words, no matter how prophetic they'll reveal themselves to be in the years. These are still other big reasons why I want to kick his ass, though, and I suspect that he knows. Count another reason, then.

They are just... Ahrg. Just talk, guys, like the mature people you ARE supposed to be but will never be. You understand that I'm in the middle of that, don't you? It gives me a massive headache on a good day and lately more often than not they make it a shitty day. I'm tired of constantly having to listen to Hashirama complaining about Madara this, Madara that, just because they're not sincere enough to just TALK and settle their differences within the limits of what it's actually possible, and because they don't talk about it (and when they do it seems like they are threading through two or three different discourses at the same time that nothing have to do with the problem at hand) they will never understand each other like they clearly need to and then we have to solve all the problems their bullshit leaves behind.

I'm not saying that they could resolve those problems by just talking, because they are too big for only the two of them and they often involve how something like world peace should be achieved. So, you understand why they'll never see eye to eye on that. But talking could be a start.

Mine feels like a full-time, underpaid and overly frustrating, babysitting job. Sometimes, I just want to kick both of their asses for being purposely (Madara) and unconsciously (Hashirama) difficult.

Sorry for my ramblings, but as a woman, a kunoichi and a wife I needed to vent a bit and too few people ask for my opinion nowadays, our self-appointed author first and foremost.

P. S.: I do want to kick his ass when he steals my hairpins out of spite after I have beaten him and Tobirama at shogi. 8/10, then.

For @dinainwater

It definitely got out of hand in the end 🤣 Rambling has always been a problem for me and rarely I manage to actually restrain myself, but I promise eventual next answers won't be this long. So, I hope it hasn't bored you (?) 😅. But I felt like Mito needed to make her opinion matter, so it was worth!

(If the reasoning explained above seemed twisted and unnecessarily difficult, it's because those two have a deeply unhealthy relationship)

However, thank you for your ask like always and I hope you enjoyed it 😁 whatever other question is always welcomed, don't worry 😊

*

[quietrainfan]

Unsymptober Day 6: Mind Control

Trigger Warnings: Unsympathetic Patton, Mind Control, Forced self harm, Blood, Knives, Dehumanization, Verbal/Emotional/Physical abuse, Gaslighting.

Note: Beginning is after Accepting Anxiety and end is after DWIT.

Once Virgil had formed an understanding with the Light Sides, he felt a weight lifted off his shoulders. Of course this didn't mean all of their feuds were resolved. There was still the issue of Janus and Remus needing Thomas to be aware of them and accepting them as facets of his personality. Not to mention the tense relationship between them and the Light Sides. Hopefully, though, this could lead to the Lights to open up to the idea of understanding Janus and Remus as well. 

 

The anxious side opened the door that served as a barrier in the mind palace between the Darks and Lights. Virgil couldn't help the amused smirk that stretched across his lips as the spooky- most would call absolutely terrifying- sound echoed from inside the long pitch black hallway, confirming that the thing entering was another Dark Side. Janus had put a protective spell on their door that had been there- since forever, really- as a precaution in case the Lights tried to sneak in. It was strong enough that even Virgil had a difficult time getting in every once in a while. Thankfully, though, Janus could sense when it was him and can let him in at any time. 

 

Virgil shut the door behind him, the usual yellow glow around the rimms flashed for a brief second before disappearing, leaving the anxious side in complete blackness. The lengthy hallway was freezing and there were always sounds of...something growing along the walls. Virgil was able to proceed without a care, though. Maybe it was because his purple irises that were made to help him see in the dark automatically switched on by instinct or that he was just used to the atmosphere of the Dark Side home. Probably both. 

 

"Hey, hey! Look who's home! Say, Dee, ya think I should melt into the wall and try and spook 'im when he gets to the living room?!~"

 

"You do realize he can hear you, Remus. It wouldn't be much of a surprise. And no, I've already spoken to you about melting into the walls."

 

"Aw, you're no fun!"

 

Virgil rolled his eyes, the smirk never leaving his face at the familiar voices echoing in the distance. He finally made it to the aforementioned common room and waved at the two taller figures waiting for him. 

 

"I'm home.", Virgil greeted, letting out an 'oof' as Remus wrapped an aggressive- but affectionate- arm around his shoulders.

 

"Hey there, tiny! Took ya long enough!", The creative side pulled him closer for a rough noogie, laughing as Virgil tried to break free to no avail. 

 

"Augh, Remus! Let go!"

 

"How did it go today? I hope they didn't give you too much trouble.", Janus approached the two shorter sides with crossed arms.

 

 His voice was even and calm but Virgil could tell Janus was on the defensive, for his sake, against the Lights. He always was when he returned. The things Virgil told him of his experience with them had his protective elder brother mode cranked up to a million. 

 

Virgil snapped out of his annoyance towards Remus at the question, "Uh...yeah, about that. We need to talk."

 

"What did they do?", Remus had loosened his grip on Virgil a bit, his tone quickly went from playful to low and dangerous. Which prompted Virgil to explain before he did anything that would reverse all the progress they made. 

 

"N-Nothing! Well- not nothing but….", The anxious side saw their eyes narrow and he cleared his throat, freeing himself from Remus's embrace, standing up straight and rubbing his neck nervously, "Uh, so- They kind of...accepted me? They came looking for me and we talked. Thomas is no longer resisting my spot at the discussion table."

 

Remus scoffed, "Yeah, right. After all that?"

 

"I was skeptical at first, too.", Virgil admitted, "But they really made a genuine effort to understand me."

 

The creative side wasn't buying it, turning to Janus. The deceitful side nodded, "From what I can tell he's being truthful, Remus. And I doubt he'd speak of it if he didn't feel like all of this was for certain."

 

Virgil was calmed by Janus's ever present rationality. But he knew this conversation wasn't over. "Although", He began again, "I am curious about what they said about the rest of us."

 

The anxious side bit his lip. 

 

Janus's expression softened, "It's alright. Take your time."

 

Virgil sighed, "They-well, Roman, really- said that I was nothing...compared to you guys."

 

Remus chuckled bitterly, leaning against the wall, "Fucking typical. What'd I tell you?"

 

"I understand and trust me, share your anger, Remus. But they were not only willing to hear Virgil out but also came looking for him after he, to them at least, went missing.", Janus turned back to Virgil, "Remember that this is for Thomas's sake and working as a unit is far more efficient than doing it separately. Regardless of how...strained our family ties are."

 

Virgil responded with a smile which the taller side returned. He knew Janus would be understanding but it was still relieving to hear out loud. The deceitful side was known to be incredibly protective of all of them and unapologetic about his opinion towards the Lights. But thankfully that didn't mean he wasn't unwilling to make amends, provided they offered the same courtesy. 

 

"So we're letting them in just like that?", Remus protested.

 

Janus laughed, "Absolutely not. I'm not going to let go of all the bitterness I feel simply because they were nice once to one of us. They have quite a ways to go to earn my trust and even longer to earn my respect.", He layed a gentle hand on Virgil's shoulder, "But what happened is worth noting."

 

Remus hummed, still skeptical of the whole thing, "We're going to still have to worm our own way in. Plus Thomas isn't even conscious of us yet."

 

Janus nodded, "Naturally. We can't just have our stormcloud being the middle-man for us forever.", A fond smile stretched on his face at Virgil's small grunt in response to his pet name.

 

"Eh, whatever.", Remus sighed, "You're the boss. If it means I can get my ideas heard, I don't really care how."

 

"Very good.", Janus clasped his hands together, "Now, it's been a long day. We'll discuss this further in the morning."

 

The three sides separated for the evening. Virgil distinctly remembered the following morning. They had started discussing ways to ease Thomas into accepting the parts of himself that he blocks out and working from there to get the others to follow suit. Virgil still had the memory of the last thing he said to them. 

 

"I certainly hope any of these scenarios will work. Virgil, are you sure about this?"

 

"Yeah, no worries. Leave it to me. I just don't want you guys to have to hide anymore."

 

Leave it to me. 

 

He had said. And he meant it. He would've followed through with his promise but he didn't anticipate the situation he managed to get himself into. 

 

Virgil was speaking to Patton while they got together for a movie marathon. Everything happened so fast. He brought up the Dark Sides, their recent reconciliation, and the possibility of them being able to come to an understanding since he was accepted. Before he could read Patton's expression as his smile fell, Virgil...felt something change in him. The anxious side wasn't able to decipher what at the time but by the time he had, it was already too late. 

 

"I don't think you should trust them, kiddo. Stay with us."

 

That was all he said. Virgil opened his mouth to try and defend the others, try to convince Patton that it was possible for everyone to get along. But the words died in his throat. What came out instead shocked the anxious side.

 

"You're right, Patton. I'm so glad to finally be away from them. Thanks for...embracing me and giving me a proper family.", Virgil had a hard time processing what he said. He hadn't meant a single word of it yet his tone, body language, and expression reflected his words perfectly. 

 

"Your welcome, kiddo.", Patton smiled warmly at him. 

 

"I didn't mean any of that. Patton, the others can be trusted, you guys just need to give them a chance."

 

"Honestly, I don't know why I stayed with them for so long. All they did was cause trouble and made me miserable.", A spiteful growl left Virgil's lips. 

 

The anxious side thought he saw Patton's warm smile fade slightly. 

 

"Maybe because you didn't have any other option.", Patton smiled sadly, "We didn't give you any. We had no idea how horrible you had it. But now we do and there's no need to worry anymore. We won't let them hurt you."

 

The moral side placed a comforting hand on his knee, "I promise."

 

"They've never hurt me! I was perfectly fine! I just wanted respect. And they deserve the same!"

 

"I'm….still afraid, Pat.", Virgil mentally swore. What the hell was going on?!

 

"I know. But I'll always be here. And so will Roman and Logan."

 

"Thanks. That makes me feel a little better.", Virgil finally returned his smile. 

 

"No, you all are part of the problem. I'll never feel comfortable if I have to choose between two halves of my family!"

 

His true feelings were locked up nice and tight. Virgil learned very quickly that what he actually thought was met with consequences. Nasty ones. Patton pulled him aside after everyone had fallen asleep. 

 

"I'm sure you've caught on by now, Virgil.", The moral side said simply, "Unfortunately, as I predicted, you aren't weak enough to convince completely. You still have some free will in there. You Dark Sides really are a pain."

 

He adjusted his glasses with a sigh but smiled brightly nonetheless, "But that's a-okay! I've got a little back up! If you're going to be our family Virgil, I'll have to set some rules first!", Patton handed him a small pocket knife, "Hurt yourself."

 

Virgil blinked at the request. Patton's sweet smile remained, "For every forbidden thought you have, you are to hurt yourself with varying severity."

 

The anxious side's blood went cold. Judging by his expression, Patton wasn't kidding. "Hmm, since you had three forbidden thoughts today, let's start off with three wounds. Do it.", He commanded. 

 

Virgil's hand moved, despite him trying to fight back against the urge forced on him. He reached for his face, ready to cut just below his eye but the moral side caught his wrist, guiding it back down. 

 

"Ah, ah, kiddo. Not on areas where others can see.", Patton purred, "We wouldn't raise suspicion now, would we?"

 

He guided the anxious side's hand down further. , "Here. Your stomach. I think there's a good start."

 

Patton released him, watching as Virgil lifted his shirt. "Under your belly button, Virge. Since you had the guts to bring them up in a positive light."

 

Virgil's teeth sank into his bottom lip as he penetrated his skin, dragging it along to the other side, hot blood already beginning to soak his lower half.

 

"Your chest now, kiddo. One under and one in the center."

 

Virgil complied, holding back a scream as the excruciating pain shot through him. Patton let it drag on, taking his sweet time in telling him to stop. 

 

"Okey dokey!~ That's enough for now.", Patton clapped. 

 

Virgil stopped on command. He made a mess, though it was nothing compared to the agony he felt. His blood was still gushing out of him, the sight, the pain, made him burst into quiet tears. 

 

Patton's smile remained but he rolled his eyes, "Oh, hush. You're a Dark Side, you've had worse and those wounds will heal almost right away.", The moral side pat his cheek, "Now go clean up and head to bed. We have some filming to do tomorrow."

 

Patton began to walk away but stopped briefly, "Oh, and welcome to the family!"

 

With that, he left. 

 

From then on Virgil was forced to treat the Dark Sides exactly how Patton did. He didn't know how long Patton had him under control but it was apparently it was long enough that Janus had decided to take things into his own hands and make an appearance. Virgil was so overwhelmed with joy, he had completely forgotten the situation he was trapped in. 

 

"Dee! I'm so happy to see you!"

 

"Anyone who doesn't understand that should just shut up.", Virgil felt sick to his stomach. No, no!

 

The hurt on Janus's face filled him with so much guilt, "Virgil...it's me.", He said with an uncertain, broken voice, pointing to himself. , "Aren't we friends?"

 

"Of course we are! More than that, we're family!"

 

Virgil scoffed, "I'm not so sure we are."

 

Janus proceeded in his attempt to convince Thomas on his own and all Virgil could do was sit there, wishing he could scream that he didn't mean it.

 

Eventually, Janus being the clever snake he was, found his own way of having his voice heard. Virgil was happy, proud even but the guilt he felt was awful. If he had been there, this transition period would have been a lot smoother and they could've worked on it together. 

 

Patton was having none of it. The more obvious it became that the Dark Sides were getting closer to their goal, the more he doubled down on Virgil behaving more and more cruel forcing him to take his side at every turn. 

 

And every time Virgil wanted to shout that he was being controlled. That he didn't mean a word of it. He desperately wanted to embrace Janus and Remus and apologize for every nasty thing he was forced to say to them. 

 

And every time he thought that way, Patton punished him. There was nothing he could do. He may be stuck like this forever, regardless if the others were accepted or not. Patton would find a way to use him to undo all their progress. 

 

----

 

"Virgil really just abandoned us all and cozied up to ol' four eyes, huh?", Remus snarled with disgust. 

 

Janus hummed with agreement, resting his chin on his conjoined fingers, "Yes, it seems so.", He turned to the shorter side, "You know why, right?"

 

Remus kicked the chair next to him, " 'Course. I ain't fucking stupid! But what are we going to do? Personally, I just want to charge in there and beat the shit out of him until he lets Virgil go. But I'm guessing you're looking for something more tactful."

 

Janus, "Leave it to me, Remus. We'll go with the original plan of getting the other's defenses down."

 

"And Virgil?"

 

"We'll set him free, rest assured. But as you said we can't just rush into this. There's also the subject of demasking Patton's true nature. We'll have to settle that first if we want a solution long term."

 

"It sounds like Virgil's going to have to hang in there for awhile.", Remus gripped his sleeve in frustration. 

 

"Yes, with you watching over him."

 

Remus blinked, surprised. 

 

Janus merely smirked, "I trust you can protect him as much as possible in the meantime. Just...try not to be too obvious. I don't want to put our stormcloud in any further danger."

 

Remus beamed, pounding his chest proudly, "Roger that, cap!"

 

"Good.", Janus turned away from his younger sibling with a frown, "It'll be a long road but eventually, he will pay."

 

The deceitful side looked down, rubbing his thumb along the old hoodie Virgil had left behind. "Stay strong, Virgil."

@unsympathetic-october-2020

[yet-another-saberface]

Story Headcanons: Fuyuki (Part 2 ~ Sections 4-8)

Spoiler warning for the listed chapters of the game!

We continue attempting to figure out what’s going on in Fuyuki, and things only get worse. HCs are under the cut because this is a rather long text post! Let’s go!

Section 4: Investigate the Port Ruin

Eva is initially in a really good mood after learning that they’re basically stuck in the middle of a Grail War gone wrong. After all, that means there should be some people around, and more likely than people, servants. After just a few seconds she realizes that whoever is alive is probably a hostile servant, and that excitement promptly becomes terror.

The child makes sure to thank Mash after pretty much every fight, because really, why wouldn’t you thank the person doing most of the heavy lifting in terms of killing things. She figures she’d be dead if it weren’t for Mash so she’s gonna show that gratitude as much as possible.

Eva is now screaming only internally whenever she has to listen to lectures on magic she understands. Not even a quip. I mean, maybe there are advantages to pretending to be totally clueless? Who knows at this point.

She’s really tested when Olga says she’s fired as soon as they get back. She didn’t do anything to deserve getting fired! If anything, what she’s done so far should prove that that’s one of the worst possible options. Most of the staff is dead, they need as many people as they can get! Why the hell would you fire someone that’s proven they’re at least a bit capable?! She actually starts to yell back at one, but manages to stop herself before she does any real damage. She just cuts herself off with “the smoke must be getting to my head” or something like that.

Section 5: Investigate the Church Ruin

Eva gets tricked into resting for 10 seconds by justifying the break as checking up on Mash but then nope, no breaks here, more skeletons!

The skeletons aren’t an issue at this point but when a shadow servant shows up it’s all downhill from there. Olga’s no help, as expected, which is a bad thing in a fight like that. Mash gets pretty beat up, and Eva herself is positive that she must have sprained her ankle, but doesn’t mention it. Yay pretending you’re not wounded! (Not.)

When a second signal shows up just afterwards, the group knows they need to get the hell out of dodge. Eva runs away just a bit slower than the other two, trying to ignore the slight limp she’s got now as much as possible. She gets yelled at by Olga because she’s slow, but she takes it and just does her best to run faster while avoiding all of the flaming debris that’s littering… Well, everywhere. 

Section 6: Shadow Servant

And… There’s already another servant attack! She’s actually getting into the rhythm of fighting by now, and luckily, the running seems to have covered up the pain from her sprained ankle with pure adrenaline. She’s not even worried about proving her worth or anything right now. She just wants to stay alive. 

By the time a second one shows up she starts to worry a bit more than before, and her orders start to falter. But she ain’t going down yet. She can tell by now that these definitely aren’t ordinary servants, in part because of their physical appearance, but mostly because of their lack of any real thoughts. They act more like animals and servants, with their desire to just kill them, and so Eva actually manages to put aside any gripes she would have had about killing them, figuring that if they were normal servants at any point, they’re dead already.

The pain in her ankle starts to come back around when Mash gets injured, and with it, she notices just how hard she’s breathing, and the panic starts to resurface. When Caster shows up, she’s actually fully prepared for it to be another enemy, but this time, she’s lucky enough for it to be someone who isn’t a skeleton or a crazed, grail-infected maniac.

For just a moment, she’s ready to give into all of her panic, thinking she’s safe, before realizing that the fight isn’t actually over yet. Now that she’s let even a little panic back into the forefront of her mind, the fact that she doesn’t really know what she’s doing is on full display. Her reaction time to everything is delayed, meaning that Mash has to forgo attacking in favor of shielding her several times. Let’s be honest: If Caster hadn’t showed up, Eva probably would have died just now. 

By the time the fight is fully over, Eva’s all but collapsed on the ground. She’s mumbling answers to anything directed at her, doing all that she can to prevent crying, and trying to get weight off of her ankle as much as possible. She refuses to make eye contact with anyone, and any confidence that she had that she might be a capable Master is basically gone at this point. By the time Roman’s done explaining the situation to Caster, she’s managed to definitely prevent herself from crying, but her injury seems to be hurting more and more each minute, and she’s trying to keep her breath under control.

Some relief is given when she learns that defeating Saber is a possible way to resolve things, until she remembers that she couldn’t defeat any of the servants that Saber had already killed. Cue more panic, and her breath getting shakier than before. She’s dreading the next time someone tries to talk to her.

Of course, more skeletons show up before anyone does, which might have been worse. She managed to call out orders, but instead of her shouts sounding confident like they were initially, now they just sound desperate, and like she’s trying not to let her voice break in the middle of each word. She doesn’t notice that Olga’s glaring at her for showing weakness like this during the fight, but she sure does afterwards, and it does not help.

More than welcomes Caster calling out the fact that Olga doesn’t actually have the aptitude to be a Master, but at the same time isn’t sure how she feels about being responsible for another servant. She was scared enough about how Mash would fair under her command… And well, Mash has already gotten injured quite a few times. And she’s only a demi-servant. Does she even have enough mana to handle this arrangement?

Well she doesn’t exactly have a choice, so she’s gonna just go with it for now and keep concealing her emotions! Now all they’ve got to do is… Kill 3 servants and somehow deal with a corrupted grail. Yup. Just gotta get through that. And then, maybe, just maybe, she won’t get fired and can pull herself together for a few seconds.

Section 8: Mash’s Training

Surprisingly, Eva is genuinely glad that Mash hasn’t yet figured out how to use her Noble Phantasm. Right now, she’s unsure if she could even support a servant using one.

But as soon as everyone starts talking about it, she’s not going to just stay quiet, since it is an important matter. While everyone else seems to agree that it’s odd Mash can’t use it, Eva actually thinks that it’s perfectly reasonable. After all, Mash has no idea who she fused with, so she can’t very well figure out the True Name of the phantasm, or even have a clue what it’s meant to do. She also points out that everyone seems to think it’s her shield, when in reality, Noble Phantasms are only a servant’s main weapon maybe half of the time.

The others are actually surprised that she’d know enough to bring up those points, particularly Olga Marie. The director actually seems a bit annoyed that Eva managed to point that out, but she didn’t. Regardless, the team decides that it won’t hurt to try to figure it out for now, since they do have Caster with them. If they don’t figure it out, they’ll just worry about it some other time, maybe check Chaldea’s summoning records to narrow down the possibilities as to what servant Mash fused with.

What she doesn’t mention to the group is her other theory for why Mash can’t use her Noble Phantasm, and the one she thinks is more likely to be correct, that being that as a Master, she isn’t giving Mash enough mana to allow the use of a Noble Phantasm. She’s really hoping that doesn’t turn out to be the case, because she doesn’t need any more reasons to think she’s bad at this job.

Why did you draw the runes on Olga, Caster? Why not on the shield or something? We don’t want more of Olga whining in this house! (Better be damn glad Eva’s empathetic or else she probably would have tried to leave Olga to the skeletons at least once by now.)

…And then Caster decides to just go and say he’s gonna kill her. Fantabulous! Now everyone is panicking! Eva’s only bit of solace comes from the thought that maybe she actually can apply theory this one time and use a command seal if things get out of hand. At least. She hopes so. If not then… She’s dead. And that would be a serious issue.

Thankfully, Mash does manage to get her Phantasm working! Eva feels a little lightheaded afterwards, but she’s actually laughing and smiling again. It worked! She isn’t failing! She considered passing off that sprain that’s still bugging her as a consequence of this fight, but decides against it. After all, it hasn’t hindered her too badly so far…

Tags!

@contractgreen​ @panyum​ @withanina​ @campanulabell​ @delfinaschiffer​ @princessaslan​ @armageddon25​ @patproductions​

[wolfcrunch]

day 5 of @dekusquadweek​!

read on ao3

[ ‘Please tell me someone is looking’, Izuku thought, blinking some drying blood out of his eyes, finally being left alone for another few hours - the villain having said he had something else to deal with. His limbs were finally able to rest, but his quirk was still out of reach, much to his frustration.

‘These guys are going to get tired soon enough...they're moving...there's not much time left.’

And Izuku didn't know how long he could keep his mouth running without more dire consequences. ]

"So...Midoriya, kero? We're helping rescue him?"

"Or find him...we don't really know his condition."

Tsuyu frowned at the words, chills crawling down her spine as she gripped her mug of coffee. "Do we have a possible location?"

"Iida and Todoroki are trying to narrow it down between a few buildings, so we don't have to split up," Uraraka murmurs, staring as the few notebooks scattered around Aoyama's desk, which the two had taken hostage when they'd first arrived. They were thankful that, with the agency Aoyama was working at being the closest to Midoriya's general area, that his boss allowed them to come in. "We don't want anyone else being taken."

"Mmm..." Tsuyu hummed her understanding, lifting her cup up and sipping at the liquid inside, the warmth of her beverage helping her wake up. "And we're striking out tonight, right?"

"As soon as we get the go-ahead. Don't worry, it shouldn't be too chilly tonight."

Being cold was the last of Tsuyu's problems.

When Uraraka had called her last night, making her away of what had gone down, it left an ugly feeling sitting in Tsu's gut, and prevented her from being able to sleep very well. It was the worry and concern, of course she knew, but not essentially just about Midoriya.

She knew he could handle himself if it came down to it. Midoriya was a determined, strong individual - she had known this since the USJ, all the way back during their first year. He'd been a small, timid boy until that moment, when the calling came. She wasn't so sure she nor Mineta would've gotten out there, if it wasn't for his plan and quirk.

And it wasn't only one time. He proved himself - again, and again, and again. Midoriya was always the center of it all, and he had turned out relatively fine.

(Aside from the numerous broken bones, which had grown considerably less after their first year. Yet sometimes, he had to risk it still.)

He was a strong person in his own right, and not only with just his quirk, Tsuyu knew that much. She had seen it with her own eyes...and honestly, it never ceased to amaze her.

She was worried about the possibility of that breaking. Midoriya's resolve was as hard as steel, but they had no clue what he was going through...what if it was worse than they thought. What if it was worse than death? There weren't many things that were...but each option made her gut flip.

She didn't want it to come down to that. She hoped it didn't come down to that.

Midoriya also wasn't the only person she worried for...Uraraka, Iida and Todoroki. She'd never seen the trio look so...tired, than when they had met up this morning. She understood...but she wished they looked after themselves.

They weren't going to be able to help Midoriya if they weren't in top shape.

"Alright, Tsu, so we're going to have you and me sneak into the building - hopefully by the roof, if we find any opening," Uraraka was talking, reading the chicken scratch in one of her notebooks, and Tsuyu snapped to attention. "And then we'll search down. We're hoping the first building is the only building, because the others will be our distraction."

"What if we get caught up by villains?" Tsu questions, leaning out of her chair and peering over Uraraka's shoulder.

Uraraka turned one of the pages. "One of us will have to go ahead, and the other holds the villains off. Iida said if it comes down to it, you should be the one to go ahead. Thanks to your camouflage and overall skill set in general, you'd be much more well-rounded for most possibilities."

Tsu didn't like the idea of that, and she hoped it didn't come down to that.

"Anyways, apparently Aoyama and Iida have a plan for a distraction--" Uraraka yawned, covering her mouth with a hand. "We just have to hope they take the bait. Todoroki's backup, but only if we really need it. He's still hurt from yesterday, and he said himself - he can't afford to hold them back."

"Maybe he can make an ice wall around any possible escape routes, once Iida and Aoyama start?" Tsu offers. "We don't know how many villains will be there, so blocking off any escape artists will ensure, hopefully, a perfect capture rate."

"He could also have the police and ambulance on speed-dial too, could he not?"

Both girls jumped as Aoyama's voice sounded right behind them, who grinned wistfully at the two's shocked expressions. "Ah, you two need to work on your awareness! That is what Iida would say, no?"

"Aoyama!" Uraraka gasped. "That isn't funny-"

"Kero, I find it pretty funny," Tsu couldn't help the croak of laughter that slipped through her lips, and Aoyama smiled at his accomplishment.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you that badly. Are you two almost done?"

"I'm just going over the plan with Tsuyu, did you just get back?"

"Iida asked me to scout the area - and it appears there has been some activity. I can't get very close...but it looks promising," Aoyama tells them. "I neither saw or heard anything about Midoriya...but it looked like they were packing up to leave. It fits in with all the other information, its all going smoothly."

"This feels almost too smooth..." Tsuyu murmurs to herself, before speaking up louder. "Isn't it a bit worrying?"

Aoyama pats her shoulder. "We can deal with anything they throw our way, Tsu...after all, U.A prepared us for it all. Besides, they could just be exceptionally bad villains."

The blond was right...but Tsu still wasn't so sure. It seemed like a set-up, almost.

"Anyways~ Todoroki and Iida are about to wrap up," Aoyama grips the backs of their chairs, pulling both as Uraraka yelped in surprise. "And we, my dears, are all going to head out to grab a bite to eat. No exceptions!"

"But Deku-"

"We simply cannot head out without some self-care first. Practice what you preach, or Iida might try to make you sit out."

Tsu watched the two banter for a moment, before her gaze flickered towards the notebooks scattered on the desk, imagining how Midoriya would be hunched over them, muttering a mile a minute as he tried to come up with a solution, or even several. How he'd run himself ragged, tire himself out and keep going until he came up with a viable plan. That behaviour was unhealthy...

"Aoyama's right," Tsu's voice of reason quells Uraraka's works. "If we go out even a bit less than 100%, we might not succeed. If we want to help Midoriya, no matter what circumstance he is in, we need to make sure to help ourselves, too. Midoriya would run himself ragged...but surely we aren't as reckless?"

"Well said, Tsu! Your level head is welcome as always."

"Man, Tsu, you gotta start nagging Deku. He might actually listen to you."

Tsu smiled, something small sliding across her face despite the large issue at hand as she rose to her feet, leaving the comfy confines of the chair. "After all of this is over, I think we all need to look out for him. One person can't hold Midoriya down, kero."

They all knew that too well. But hopefully, Midoriya was holding still until help arrived.

Only a few hours left, and they would hopefully have their friend back in their grasp...and things could go back to the way they were before.

[8requiems]

A Webcomic Review of “Deadlove”: I think I am a Sadist now.

Intro

WHOA WHOA WHOAAAA, before you skip this part, I tweaked the process of how I review webcomics after reviewing the webcomic before this one, “Wizard of Arsenia”. The changes aren’t earth shattering, but I just wanted to put that out there.

If you don’t care. I mean, you can skip reading it. I guess it's cool. I don’t mind...not like I didn’t spend time refining it- but it's OKAY.

Before we get into this review, there are two main parts of the review:

The General Review

This route will give you a simple idea of the webcomic you are about to read. It will naturally include my personal opinions, but they will not be inconsistent to any prior or future reviews I do (in the sense that I don’t do double standards when I talk about said webcomics). 

Said opinions won’t really dominate this route because I will be mainly establishing what the webcomic has to offer in each part. 

Because of this, my opinions will always be presented at the end of each section.

If need be, I will refer to events that might be considered as “spoiler territory”. 

I will read as far as I require in order to get a good idea of the story I am reading, so the amount of chapters I read will vary. At a baseline, I will have read at least 10 chapters.

Granted, I doubt anything too important will change how you experience later chapters since it isn’t as, lets say, a “Season Review”.

The only sections that will be fully opinion within this route is: Execution and Conclusion.

      2. Beyond the Border

This route will be available if you scroll to the very bottom.

Think of this route as the “New Game+” equivalent of the review.

I will read further either because the story has me hooked, or if I want to see if my criticisms still hold true.

EXPECT TO SEE SPOILERS. ESPECIALLY IF I GAVE THE REQUIEM TRADEMARK COPYRIGHT APPROVED THUMBS UP.

Disclaimer:

If you decide to skip “The General Review” to read “Beyond the Boundary”, don’t let it affect your opinion of the work too much (if you are easily swayed). Despite how open I am to webcomics, I might have opinions that could contradict with how you might view the webcomic if YOU were to read it.

I do advise that you read “The General Review”, and with that information in mind, proceed to “Beyond the Boundary”, if you so wish.

The Description:

*Ahem*

" They say you can’t run away from your problems... and Joel just learned that the hard way. Talk about having cold feet! Joel is all set to marry Kim, his art school sweetheart, but in a moment of poor judgment he has an affair with his roommate Zoe. Hounded by the guilt, but unable to fess up to his fiancé, he decides the most responsible thing to do is... run away. As far and as fast as he can. He now finds himself selling cosmetics at a shopping mall in New Zealand. Sure, he is homesick, and everything is unfamiliar, but at least he can work through his issues in peace and quiet, right? Wrong. Read this comic to find out how Joel’s plans fall apart, and how he puts himself back together, with the help of an unexpected guest… “

Y’know, this is usually the part where I give my own synopsis of the story, at times because the description is in no way useful. 

But, I have nothing to add. 

I will say that when I first read “Deadlove”, I don’t believe I read the description, and I think not reading it was a welcome surprise considering that although I was expecting a “Comedy with a simplistic art style that is kind of charming”, I think I got a bit more than I bargained for.

I should also note that if it were not from my blind curiosity, and I were to judge it purely on description and the title art, I probably wouldn’t have read it.

It doesn’t do justice towards how creative the Webtoon itself presents its characters and the story it wants to portray.

But we’ll get to that in a minute. For now, let’s get a good idea of the characters we will be following.

Characters:

Joel:

(A panel in the middle of Chapter 1)

As you will quickly understand, Joel as far as life decisions go is the definition of incorrigible. Despite having many opportunities to confront his problems, or even having moments of foresight. These 5 chapters, if you are one to hate misunderstandings or easily resolvable conflicts, will be hell for the reader.

Maybe it was because I was forcing myself to read another webcomic before getting to this one, but I somehow  was not personally annoyed by the way Joel was acting. 

Granted, if I read this on ANY other day, I would have been seething and/cringing at the sight of this imbecile.

Which, as Creator Teo reveals in his editors notes at the end of every chapter, will be a very common theme.

(The last paragraph of Chapter 2’s Creators Note ^)

(The beginning of Chapter 3’s Creators Note ^)

I think it’s safe to say that Joel's current situation is the logical extreme of not taking responsibility for your poor decisions and refusing to confront and learn from your mistakes. 

I feel like because of how his character is written, everyone is going to be on the same page, regardless of personal views on life when reading this webcomic, specifically because of how comically stupid we as the audience see Joel as.

I mean, at the very least that's how I feel…

At the same time, after reading the first chapter multiple times, I decided to set my personal biases aside just so I could be sure Joel is full of shit.

There were two parts of the Webtoon that caught my eye:

^ For this dialogue portion, the part that caught my attention was him brushing past keywords that we have likely heard before when hearing about cheating: “Love isn’t Binary”, “I thought only assholes cheat”, and “She looks hot”.

Now, I could easily be reading too much into these lines, and I probably am. But this isn’t the first time I have heard or read about someone cheating on someone they love for “X,Y, and Z”, so I decided to look up a random case to see how the cheater in that situation felt.

After reading about it, I felt myself not necessarily thinking he wasn’t an ass, but I did end up feeling bad for Joel. Not because of the lines I just showed, but for the lines in the following panel towards the end of the chapter:

In the case that I looked up, they felt miserable at the development that had come of their new relationship, despite cherishing the one they already had. 

Now granted, Joel does say that he isn’t a reliable source of info for the story, but I feel as though the points where he does start deviating from truth are obvious enough to the viewer that we can differentiate it from the real truth. 

At least, that’s what I believe, I tried reading back to see if there were any obvious deviations in truth but I couldn’t find any. Maybe you found some? Share what you found in the comments section down below if you have.

I think this simple meme panel that is shown at the end of chapter 1, although very simple, justifies the way I think about Joel as a character:

Execution:

When I first started reading “Deadlove” I thought the charm would come from the simplistic art style, and I wasn’t wrong about it not having charm, but it is certainly not the main appeal of the Webtoon. The way the visual and writing style compliment each other reminds me of my time reading “God of Bath”. But with “God of Bath”, that would moresoe be applied to the gag panels.

For “Deadlove”, it's every panel of every chapter.

Visual Style: 

I think my favorite part of the Webtoon would have to be the way Creator Guy makes visually metaphorical jokes, and just the way he decides to show Joel’s interaction with the audience as he breaks the fourth wall.

An example of a visually metaphorical joke would be something Creator Teo actually had to point out for me. Had to do a whole double take:

( ^ A panel in the latter half of Chapter 1 )

( ^ The fourth paragraph of Chapter 2’s Creators Note )

( ^ Joel revealing his wishy washy nature to the audience in a panel towards the end of Chapter 5 )

Although there might be better examples of Joel’s audience interaction, I personally love this one. I can’t help but chuckle every time I remember it.

The Writing:

I rarely consume media that breaks the fourth wall. And even then, they would break the fourth wall for comedic effect, not for telling a story. 

Then again, many stories will have a narration at the beginning where they basically guide you in the beginning portions of the story, only to return every now and then.

Joel is telling the story as he is living it. I mean, he does say the story isn’t linear, implying that this isn’t the case, but I still appreciate how the story is written nevertheless.

Conclusion:

Overall, I feel like I’ve communicated how much I love “Deadlove”, and I shouldn’t be surprised considering the talented duo of Creators Teo and Guy have experience telling simple yet fun and captivating stories, such as “The Adventures of God” and “My Dictator Boyfriend”. Both Webtoons that I love.

I already feel like I am someone that Joel is talking to, making me in some way a part of the story too, but having Creator Teo talk say reveal some insights about the Webtoon and giving some giving some thoughts about “Deadlove” shows a connection with me, the reader, that I don’t really feel in other Webtoons, even if they do Q&A’s every now and then.

That being said, I think that Teo’s quick tidbits are a consequence of the very stylized nature of the story itself.

I would suggest “Deadlove” to anyone, even if they would hate a character like Joel. Just because I feel like he is interesting enough to see him continue to make mistakes and follow his overall journey.

[clementiinefraser]

Bonjour/Hi!

First of all, I want to take a second and show appreciation for all of the characters who were set aside or not appreciated enough. I’ve been here since the beginning and I saw them come and go with a heavy heart. There were so many good characters, but they were always left in the shadows. If you’re still around and playing one of those forgotten muses, just know somebody loved them.

I am not being hypocritical. I brought my fair share of negativity and bad behaviours. I joiend with a faceclaim that turned out to be highly problematic and took an awfully long time to change things up like it truly ~mattered~. I did my fair share of bubble roleplay (sometimes it was more like by default than by choice) but I did it and I’m not proud of it but I have the self-awareness to admit it. I chased after faceclaims too. There was a time where I focused on potentially romantic threads and neglected platonic connections. I didn’t participate enough in the events. I didn’t open my mind wide enough to reply to starters that maybe were too out of character for my muses, but still deserved attention. I should have messaged other people.

I should have tried harder. I always promised myself to do this. I was foolish enough to think that replying to one or two open starters would work. I was fooling enough to think that leaving supportive tags under my replies would work. I know now that was stupid. As someone who joined since the true beginning, I should have made new people feel welcome and appreciated instead of focusing on the fact a starter was not fitting my muse enough and without plotting it felt odd to reply. Making new people feel included and appreciated: that was, is and always will be the duty of everyone in a roleplay group.

Still, even when I was not posting, even during my hiatuses, I always kept an eye on the dashboard and I saw those forgotten and set aside characters and read their tasks and starters and interactions. I loved them all. I believe every character in this group deserved to be put on the same pedestal as that very specific handful of special muses that got too much praise for questionable reasons.

I have never stayed in a group for so long. The truth is, I’ve wanted to leave for a while, but I always had reasons to stay. Whether it was because of characters I loved or my own characters I hoped to develop, I could not bring myself to leave just yet. I felt like if I stayed, maybe some issues would get solved and this group would reflect on the ideals it has set for itself. Transparency. Inclusivity. Warmth, and so on. Again, I know for a fact I was not active and I should have devoted more time for this group. I apologize for all of the abandoned threads along the way.

Whether it’s about cliques, bubble roleplay, undeserving praise, unfair treatments, this group has had issues like any other. Except, they never really got resolved. Instead of addressing it publicly, instead of making it clear that the voices of those who had enough courage to call out issues were heard. Instead of openly and sincerely acting on the issues, things were brushed under the rug. An ooc warning every now and then, free passes for a handful of people, sudden unfollows. The issues were not solved, they just kept getting worse.

Granted, I have never gathered enough courage to speak up. I have never gathered enough courage to ring bells. So to all of those who actually did speak up but were silenced, I’m so sorry. But I’m very proud of you still. You deserved so much more. You deserved to be heard, to feel included and to feel appreciated. You gave proof, but you only faced a closed door.

Yes, proof. Multiple people coming out and voicing their worries about similar issues. Multiple people leaving suddenly. This is proof. I completely disagree with using a degree as a justification to why one can pretend they never did anything wrong or take the blame off their shoulders. As I have mentioned quite a few times, I am a historian. I am a full time research assistant. I, too, love a good research assignment. I love searching for proof of a phenomenon. I love understanding said proof, and said phenomenon. And the proof is right here. Nobody can blame their college classes for the fact they refuse to admit their flaws, their mistakes and their lack of judgement or action. If anything, a true researcher would have the reflex to admit they did something wrong, they made a mistake or they have to change their minds because they found out new information that disagree with their belief on a topic. This is part of any scientific methodology. And changing your mind, when you have proof, is not a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of transparency and integrity. Especially when the proof is right before your eyes.

How come nobody came and called out the issues sooner? Maybe it is because no action has truly been taken. Maybe it is because they knew it would be useless. Maybe it is because they felt like nobody cared enough about them and their contribution to the group. Maybe it’s because a minority of people blindly praising an admin team like they could never do wrong speaks louder than a majority of members trying to show something is off.

Serious actions need to be taken. Serious changes need to be made.

As long as nothing is done, I don’t want to be a part of group that claims things they never truly put into action. Cliques, bubble roleplay and worshipping a handful of ships are one thing, but claiming to be diverse while most of your diverse muns and muses are excluded is a whole other story. I stand by the people and the characters of colour who were ignored, set aside or accused of things other people did without consequences.

I wish I could have been more active and given all of you guys the love you deserve.

Thank you to everyone who interacted with Clémentine, Sapphire and Karyanne. Thank you to those who might have supported them from a distance and we never truly talked, ooc or ic. I’m still thankful for this group because I met amazing people and I interacted with amazing characters. I’m still thankful for every interactions or connections, small or big. I’m still thankful because, for a while, it was a safe place and a safe escape. I don’t really have hard feelings against any of you. I’m just disappointed that we’re reached this point.. The fact nothing was, or has ever been, addressed publicly, the fact the pages were updated oh-so quickly like everything needed to be erased, the fact the dash moved back to normal as if nothing happened... This is not being transparent. This is not showing you want to change. This is pretending everything is fine and hoping people forget.

Solutions are still available. Find an admin team who is truly transparent, who believes their members and who is willing to take actions when needed. Yes, I believe changing adminds would be the best solution. The fact that two of them stepped down, probably to avoid taking responsability, is quite suspicious. The one remaining is still a huge part of the problem. Make efforts to be more inclusive. Stop focusing on endgame ships, focus on all of the amazing friendships that could blossom instead. Don’t drop muses because they didn’t find a ship within a week. Don’t facechase. Don’t deny the proof. Now is not the time to ask people for what is wrong with the group, because at this point, it is only rhetorical.

The best solution is to close the group and keep interacting with your ship partners. That way, you can worship the same handful of people and you can be blinded by a few members praising this group and refusing to see the problems. But the thing is, people might join again. They might join because they believed the promises of inclusivity. They might join because nothing was addressed publicly. They might join and face walls if their character is of colour, if their character is different or too original, if their character is not seeking for ships. They might face the same problems as everybody who left.

Lead by example. And, right now, the example you are giving is one of cliques, ships, lack of transparency and borderline racism. We’ll say it like it is.

Still being a part of this group, as it is currently, is being complicit of a narrative that goes beyond cliques and ships being more important than genuine connections. I don’t want to support such a thing.

Until then, I wish everyone well. I truly do! I met amazing people here and whether we still talk or not, I really liked you guys. The creativity, the amazing characters, the everything. There were so many good things, but there are so many bad things too. I don’t want to set the blame on anyone specifically. This is not a witch hunt. If the shoe fits, then you will know. I still wanted to express myself because we all carried a piece of that blame and we all need to acknowledge it and act on it rather than closing our eyes and keep on keeping on like nothing has ever happened. I hope this group changes into a healthy, inclusive and welcoming place where everyone and every characters are loved equally. If it happens, then I will happily join again if I am allowed to (because, well, I’d understand if this statement was too blunt). Or, at least, I will look back on my time here and be happy that changes were finally made.

I know this was long. I needed to take this off my chest. Thank you for the opportunities. Thank you for giving the hope that this could be a different place. Thank you to those who cared about inclusivity and diversity.

Take care. Treat people (and yourselves) with kindness. I love you guys and I’ll miss you. Go watch a Barbie movie, will you? It’s for self care purposes! <3

Laurie 🧡 🍊