#which again this is sorta what i was talking abt in the original post

[transmaverique]

you're assuming a lot about binary trans people, and if anything it makes me think that our understandings of our genders aren't actually that different? Not every binary trans person wants to pass as a cis person. I don't want to pass as a cis woman, I want people to understand me for what I am, a collection of internal beliefs and thoughts that I've constructed an identity with. It sounds like we both have created identities for ourselves! If you think that non binary people are the only people capable of creating their own identities and striving to be seen as them, that's on you

im gonna try one more time. i cant really tell if youre being sarcastic or not so im gonna assume youre being genuine when you say you think we have similar understandings of gender. but to me it sounds like you are deliberately ignoring the Actual Words i am saying.

we need words to describe our experiences, both different and common ones. those words may be in themselves faulty or somewhat inaccurate, but they are what we have to discuss important concepts, and they function well enough if they have a generally agreed-upon meaning. right?

so. the dominant culture of the imperial core is one of strictly binary sex. anything that breaks this, is deviant of the "rules of nature", to this dominant culture. right?

so then we call people who are NOT of this binary system multiple different things depending on cultural context and personal identity and personal circumstance. right?

'nonbinary' is only one of those words. to each individual it may mean any one of hundreds upon thousands of different things. everyone has their own personal identity, and while we may use the same word to describe said identity, no two people will have the same definition.

this is true of 'manhood' and 'womanhood' as well. every individual, cis trans both neither intersex perisex and so on and so forth, every single one of them has different PERSONAL interpretations of these words and the concepts they are meant to describe.

but 'woman' has to mean something in order to function as a real concept. it has to have some semblance of shared meaning, shared experience, shared conceptual feeling and vibe, for it to work within the imperial core as a means of systemic control and oppression, for it to work as a communicable identity, and for it to function as a word in a language.

in the same vein of thought, 'binary' is a word we are using to describe someone whose gender, in some way, shape, or form, fits into the schema of 'man and woman'. your internal definition of your own gender does not actually matter very much to other people who do not know it exists.

for me, it matters that i am percieved as a binary gender no matter what i do. it matters, and hurts, a lot. and for some people, it matters and hurts less. for some people, it matters and hurts not at all.

whether you consider yourself binary or not is entirely up to you and how you interpret your own navigation of the world. its very strange to act as if im saying anything otherwise. YOU defined YOURSELF as binary in your responding to me. you said you were also agender, so, like i said in my prev tags, i dont think youre the target audience. but the way youre reacting, it seems you think you are. i am also going to reiterate that 'binary' is not a bad thing to be - binary trans people and for that matter, binary cis people, are not my enemies. but i deserve to have the language to talk about my experiences as they compare to binary people. that's all it is.

[amarylliasky]

Aaand number 1 is a sorta crack au post?

Au: Everyone’s a Regressor!

- Just what the title says. Everyone (except the villains ofc) is a regressor. Including Cale. Who just happens to be a regressor, transmigrator, and reincarnator. Basically the same plot of Cale lived his first life in tboah and then reincarnated as krs before regressing and transmigrating into his original body after dying as krs. Plot twist though, most everyone else is also a regressor and he has no idea. He has memories of his first and second lives. Including the novel he read before he died, and doesn’t know why everyone is acting so different from what he knows!

- Why is his family being so nice and talking to him?! Why is Ron giving him so much lemonade?! Why does that Punk Choi Han act like he knows him already?! He and Ron and Beacrox know each other?! When did they meet this early?! Who are all these people in his house?!

- Okay? So his father is reinforcing the walls and they are making a navy in the Ubarr territory??? This is great. The heroes and his family are preparing for the war and he doesn’t even have to lift a finger!

- He does still carry out his plans though. Getting the ancient powers, saving Raon and coincidentally finding On and Hong, and helping Taylor and Cage. Speaking of which, Taylor stops his search for the vitality of the heart and just relaxes in Puzzle city with Cage for a bit before they meet Cale. Of course, the god of death still tells Cage abt the benefactor, who was not present in their past life. Cage is shocked to hear from the one who abandoned them in the last life, but still listens to him for Taylor’s sake.

- Deruth doesn’t want to send either of his sons this time, but he is shocked when Cale offers to go. Despite both his parents and Basen trying to deter him, he convinces them to let him go. They agree, only because Choi Han and the Molan duo will accompany him. Deruth doesn’t like the idea sending the person who beat his son to protect him. Much less the ones who betrayed his son to go off and play hero with the offender; but he knows how strong they are. If anyone can keep Cale safe, it’s them.

- Choi Han doesn’t hate Cale, but he doesn’t really like him either. He’s come to respect the younger during the time they spent as allies during the war, but the Cale right now hasn’t faced his future tragedy yet. He’s still young and immature, and acts like trash….right..? Wait- not right?! What is with this kid? Why does he act so different from before?! By all means, he should still be trash, soo why is he acting completely different from their past life? And why does he know things he shouldn’t know at this point in time? Or any point in time for that matter?

- He doesn’t seem to remember their life before, so why is he acting so strange?

- Cale is just trying to make it seem like he doesn’t know half these people so he won’t look suspicious, but why is everyone acting like they know him? He knows he’s never met the crown prince in this life, so what’s with that melancholy look?

- Meanwhile, Choi Han is just trying to find a way to find Rosalyn and Lock without seeming too suspicious. Luckily, Cale sent him away first.

- The vow of death never happens.

- “ I can’t tell you everything, but I can share two truths.” “Oh, there’s no need Cale-nim. I trust you.”

‘Wha..? How can you trust me? We’ve only known each other for a few weeks.’ “Don’t you want information on that secret organization?”

“It’s alright, Cale-nim. I’m sure we’ll run into them again soon.”

‘This punk…Does he know something?’ “Choi Han, do you know something about them?”

‘That’s not possible. Choi Han should have only encountered them once by this point.’

“No. I. Don’t. Know. What. You. Are. Talking. About.” ….

‘Was Choi Han always such a bad liar..?’

- Cale doesn’t get the annual rings right away. Why? Idk, consistency with Tcf plot?

- Everyone knows that everyone has regressed except Cale. Bc it’s funnier that way.

- So we got all his family members tiptoeing around him, trying to see if he remembers but also trying not to jog his memory if he doesn’t. They know the last life hurt him and they don’t want him to have to carry the burden of their deaths. (He does. And he’s not gonna make the same mistake twice).

- The Radish is still a hassle to deal with. Obviously they didn’t see all his powers from the last life as they were completely overwhelmed by the enemies, but with Cale’s help and their experience from the past, they are much stronger and more prepared. By the time the Indomitable alliance comes to the Henituse territory, there are even more secret weapons coming out of the woodworks. Seriously, the enemies are so confused. So is Cale. So is everyone else. Clopeh never stood a chance. It’s like the pointing Spiderman meme. And the enemies are a bonfire in the middle; being reduced to ashes while everyone else is being stunned by each other’s collective strength.

- The only enemy they have a bit of trouble with is the White Star. Not because he’s too strong, no, he’s already no match for Choi Han, Rosalyn, and Lock fighting against him altogether, but with the aid of Eruhaben, they now know that he’s a reincarnator. They have no idea how to kill him for good.

- So basically, they keep encountering him and injuring him further while trying not to actually kill him. Of course, that’s not to say that the rest of the WS allies are a joke, rather, they are just slightly challenging as literally everyone in the two continents speed runs getting stronger to prepare to combat his forces.

- To make it even more fun, none of the enemies retain their memories. Also, the citizens are random on who has memories of their past. Some do, some don’t. It creates chaos.

- Adventurer Bob remembers his past life where he died on his first adventure. He doesn’t know how he came back to the past, but he’s determined to use his knowledge of the future to his advantage! (What knowledge? Bro literally died on his first expedition).

- A middle aged baker in Rain City vows to live his life to the fullest this time! He’s going to build a Wyvern bunker! He’s going to save up funds! And he’s going to make up with his daughter who ran away to become a sword master! He’ll support her all the way this time. They may not be enough, but even if she doesn’t reach that level, who is he to stunt her only chance at survival in the upcoming war?

- Rookie Knight Jeffron has had quite a strange day. He woke up only to hear three of his comrades spouting nonsense about wars and fire and wyverns..? Just what is a wyvern? Must have been quite the nightmare. Psssh! As if! The Henituse territory would never fall to enemy soldiers! And attacking from the sky? Yeah right! What’s next? The Sun god accepts the darkness attribute? Hah! Jokes these days…

- Really, half the city seems to have had too much to drink. Or too little…? What has happened to Young Master Cale?! Some citizens could have sworn he had still been trash in the past. So what has happened to make their young master change so much? He doesn’t seem like he remembers? He doesn’t…right?

[skarloeyspa]

dunky and rust! took me forever but details below

Rusty:

*clutches fists at overalls costing $1.29 in the 50s

ANYWAY uhm Rusty came to the SR in 1957 so I took some inspiration from both 50s and 60s clothing but mostly 50s

But yeah like all the other freethinkers🤖 in this community i subscribe to Rusty being nonbiney (altho they're mostly masc presenting)

I want to say that Rusty's jumpsuit is based off women's workwear but like. women's workwear in the 50's was based off men's workwear so what difference does it make😭

Ripped their boots straight from the bottom right of the catalog here so hehe

Their nameplate is specifically very simple and non-glossy to designate them as a maintenance worker as opposed to for passenger service

I don't. um. intend for Rusty to be that much taller than overhaul 2 loey. they're probably around the same height at best and Rusty is def a bit shorter than overhaul 3 loey

also they're wearing a flat cap. i don't like drawing them but it made the most sense so,

i don't know if they had binders in the 50s? If they didn't then um. I'm sure there was some kind of equivalent shapewear-

Duncan:

this guy was such a damn pain to design for oml

i really need to find a way to save my ref pics when i make my pencil sketches so i can add them to these posts when im done djfdjbfk

i gave duncan beeeaaauuuttifull lushious long blonde locks💅because he's got a long ass funnel HAHAHAH

he's tall. but he's also lanky. he's like a very tall twink sorta. like i get that he's strong cuz he worked at a factory but bro cannot retain muscle like. he's sticks.

oh and also blue eyes because of douglas. yyyyeah

anyway you might be wondering. capy what the hell is that ugly ass band of pattern across his chest

well that was my BIG BRAIN moment.

starting around like the 19th century people would take the fabric used to make sacks for shipping dried goods like animal feed and flour, and turn that fabric into clothing

this originated in more rural communities but became more widespread during world war I and especially world war II with rationing and whatnot. basically when companies noticed people wearing their sacks they began printing patterns onto their sacks for this explicit purpose (cuz you know. marketing)

before arriving to Sodor, duncan worked in a factory. you know who else produces dried goods?? factories!!!

around the time he arrived to sodor was also when American rock and roll was really influencing British youth, particularly with the rise of teddy boys and then the rockers (which is from my understanding, greasers but British). So around the time Duncan was heading to Sodor there was already an air of rebellion among the UK's youth

I took particular inspiration from Rockabilly based on its noted influence on British popular culture, which from what I've seen, adopts some more flashy elements to their clothing in contrast to the traditional suit and dress. I was this close to making duncan wear a bowling shirt

the kerchief is also because of this hehe

so in a moment of genius/delusion, i thought. what if while working at the factory, duncan saw the trends of people using their feed sacks as clothing fabric, and stole a bag or two for himself so he could sew on a strip of the fabric onto his work shirts because he's, ya know, mr. rock n roll

yes i did all that just for a stripe of fabric on his chest i am VERY happy with this choice

btw here's the exact pattern i used (i just ripped it off the internet)

ok that's it thank you for reading through my rambling once again!! lowkey i want to post lil western next but also. i talked abt making rws/formal uniforms for the SR crew so. we'll see what happens next lol

[drawnaghht]

Yuichi Usagi is [SURNAME] [given name]

lol I've written abt it before going into more specifics & making theories, but this post is just to clear it up again as a general ref for newer fans reading old or new posts abt it and finding themself confused... edit3(15.1): rightfully so! if you've ever watched more than 5 anime or just read some manga, you might recognize that Yuichi is most commonly a given name in Japan. Even viewers familiar with japanese would have made the same assumption. But the show itself uses it as a first name, so it becomes confusing. After jan 6th we found the behind-the-scenes lore for that too.

- clearest tell in the show itself that Usagi is his first name - his auntie calls him Usagi. What auntie calls their sole nephew or close family member by their family name? ... which would have to be her own family name then too...???

Secondly. He introduces himself as Usagi the more he's in the city. First as Yuichi Usagi, but then after a few chases, he gives up and introduces himself to Kitsune as "Usagi"in the 1st episode. boy wants to be known as Usagi haha.

edit 2 (8.1.2024): as of 6.01 we have official confirmation that this is fact + a little backstory! Yuichi is the boy's surname

the whole show, all the other characters use japanese naming convention - e.g. Gen introduces himself as Murakami Gennosuke to the Bat Squadron. it seems the other younger characters call each other by given name basis because they're either all around the same age or don't feel like using family names for each other. Often characters don't have family names because they're orphans (Chizu, Kitsune, Hana). Or it's the only name they go by in general (Tetsujin, Lady Fuwa).

it's that simple! you can headcanon whatever but at least know the show itself has named him this way.

I've already written about this b4 too but Yuichi can very rarely be a family name (apparently). there might be other reasons the show crew gave him Yuichi as a family name, but if that doesn't cut it, you can always adopt my theory that he has a rare two given names.

But yeah, the show makes it clear that Usagi is his first name. It's a spinoff based on Usagi Yojimbo and some of its stories and ideas, and made by fans of the comic and Stan's work. They decided to give him this name, for whatever reasons, and it's his name used in the show. There's too much much work in the show itself for them to give him a random name either, "just because they're ignorant" or even just bc they didn't research. They clearly did or the show wouldn't have some surprising elements to it as a spinoff or as a past+future combo of japanese aesthetics.

Him and the comics' original Usagi, Miyamoto Usagi can share a first name. I know it looks confusing coming from other shows where evryone has specific names. I know it's just generally confusing as a tmnt fan... but their names and tags can co-exist as-is. maybe i don't get out enough into other shows but I've never seen a fanbase stretch themselves so into a pretzel over characters sharing their first name. also Miyamoto Usagi is based on a famous historical samurai, more precisely - Miyamoto Musashi. His movie depiction was what inspired Stan Sakai in the 80s... ppl in real life share first and last names very often so it just doesn't bother me personally that they share one name, but not their family name. So I don't get anymore why ppl are upset that his name is a combo of two first names... I believe there's also a irl children's book author named Usagi Yuichi (maybe pseudonyms being animal names is more common in japan?idk) so I wonder if the crew knew about that 🤔

clearing this up again bc every time I see someone say smth about this show and it's some misunderstanding on top of a misconception, I just wanna make a simple chart to explain things lol. but i don't know if ppl would care even. I know ppl sorta dislike this show or don't care abt it anyways. but then... why talk about it? why share info like a fan who knows or cares about it... and then it's false info... so idk, if they're not a fan, don't take them at face value, but even if they're a fan, it's easy to share info without a source and have others think it's real. Be ready for info to change or your first impressions to break. I've mostly only theorised or drawn from the show itself so far, but even things I say might change if other evidence is provided. So... lol lets all just read into this show calmly I guess.

edit (7.1.2024): lol another thing to add that I didn't think about: there's a 1000 years between the generations of Miyamoto Usagi and Yuichi Usagi. so them not having the same surname would be considered quite normal (and so far, no evidence to conclusively say that M! Usagi is a grandpa... the scene between Usagi and his auntie in the evening in ep 1 also seems to allude that there are many generations between the og era and the future era and that Usagi's auntie is speaking of her own direct great grandfather and Miyamoto Usagi separately...

Anyway. That's all! Hope this is helpful to newer fans.

[princes-creations-askblog]

Finally posting oc content again bc I can’t hold it back anymore <3

Ok so I have this set of ocs (I’ve talked abt them before in this post right here) and uh. I’m remaking them now. or trying to, I’m having bad writer’s block hngh—

So like. Now that I’ve exploded and absolutely NEED to post them or I’ll die, I’ll give you some basic info on them :)

I’ve renamed Jay to Jeiviin. They’re a six-year-old Sky Dragon born and raised in Emporia, having lived in Taldrena their whole life (up until an incident in which they ended up in Voxtren). They’re intersex and were raised genderless, and have an older sister.

I’ve renamed Cora to Avaki. She’s a seventeen-year-old Sky Dragon that was born in Talix, one of Emporia’s islands, and moved to Taldrena with her family when she was 8. She’s Jeiviin’s older sister, and really into true crime.

I’ve renamed Sigasi to Sivea. She’s a fourteen-year-old Healer Dragon born in the Philippines, but moved to Emporia (specifically Voxtren) when she was 11. She’s an only child, but became best friends with Jeiviin and Avaki after the events of her (and the other characters’) story takes place, and she’s surprisingly feisty for a Healer.

I’ve renamed Delta Sun to Astrallon. They’re somewhere around 150-160 years old, and they’re an Angel from the Concept Universe (or the Void). They left their home when they were in their 20s to search for their missing mother (idk what happened to her though), but they never found her, and instead decided to just. Stay in Emporia. I mean, it’s a really pretty country, so. Fair enuf.

None of them have designs yet, but I have some very basic ideas for what I want them to look like —

Jeiviin will be pretty short (I mean they’re 6 so ofc), and their main colour will definitely be blue. Lotta scars.

Avaki will be more seafoam green I think? And a lot taller. Possibility of being emo or scene

Sivea is so so purple. I kinda want her to resemble a violet-backed starling. I love those fucking birds. I want her to have a sorta medieval-goth-princess aesthetic, but more modern

Astrallon gets to be tall as hell. Way taller than they need to be. Get enlarged stupid. And I want them to have some vague religious vibes, like biblically accurate or something. Perhaps multiple sets of wings, or too many halos. Or too many eyes.

Ok now that that’s out of the way.

Storyline thing or something!

The kiddos are still both gonna be experiments — that was an integral part of their story before the remake, and I don’t wanna change that — but Astrallon won’t be an experiment anymore. Instead, they’ll be friends with the guy running the experiments, but they won’t know about it until he calls them up and says “DUDE WE’RE GETTING FUCKED UP PLEASE HELP”.

The experiments aren’t gonna be turned into some form of superhuman (superdragon?) beings anymore, either. Instead, the cult is trying to transform Dragons into Humans by surgically removing their Draconic traits and making them physically look as human as possible.

Those experiments never end up working and all the subjects that went through the procedures died. Including Jeiviin. But they get to come back as a ghost, because I said so.

Anyway!! The reason Mr. Cult Guy calls Astrallon screaming for help, is because Sivea and the other still-living experiments broke out and started killing motherfuckers. As they should.

Astrallon is a very kind person, so of course, they immediately run over to their friend’s location to help, and promptly get their shit FUCKING WRECKED by Sivea, who thought they were another cultist.

Some other stuff happens after that, and then the story ends, but I haven’t gotten to that point yet. As I said, I’m having writer’s block atm, so I can’t get past the part where Sivea starts plotting.

Also, despite the setting of this story being in Emporia, which is also where my AHiT AU takes place, this is not set in the AHiT universe! It’s an entirely original work, full of the blorbos from my autism.

I am tired and can’t think of anything else to write, so that’s it post’s over. Eat up

[organicbabybattles]

Round 1, Side A, Poll 8

Rebekah Jakobs-Hammerlock ( @wainwrightjakobshammerlock ) VS. Sawyer Hale ( @thewikiplayer )

-------

( art by wainwrightjakobshammerlock )

What is your baby's name? Pronouns?: Rebekah Jakobs-Hammerlock, she/her

Is your baby from a fandom or original?: Fandom - the Borderlands game series

How old is your baby?: 5 in my post canon alternate universe (7-8 years after Borderlands 3)

Tell us about your baby!: She's the testtube biological baby of Sir Hammerlock & Wainwright Jakobs (which basically means she could aim and shoot a pistol at the age of 4) and has 4 siblings (one of which is also an oc, but is an adoptive kid, and the rest are canon characters who got adopted). She has a big plushie collection (some knitted or sewn by Wainwright, some crocheted by Hammerlock, some being gifts from extended family or the Crimson raiders) and also fucked up eldritch powers beyond human comprehension bc her parents are abominations from beyond the veil (my Borderlands rewrite AU is a mess haha) which she primarily uses to teleport all over the house, causing an understandable amount of problems. Clay is her weird uncle and she loves him. She's kinda based off Wednesday Addams because autism. Also she is autistic, the nicest weirdgirl on Eden-6, swears an unusual amount for a 5 year old (being around Wainwright del Frisco Jakobs-Hammerlock will do that to you) and often swaps between her Edenian (space southern) and her Hermesian (space british) accents bc yknow. Just listen to her dads speak and you'll see.

Anything else you want to add?: (1) Most people call her Reb for short but Wainwright calls her Rebby because yes. (2) She eventually grows to inherit the Jakobs corporation and generally sorta girlbossify but that's extreme future timeskip stuff I don't talk abt often because I feel cringe about it. (3) Her name continues on the general theme of Jakobs related things having biblical symbolism - Rebekah is Jacob's mother in the book of Genesis (if i remember correctly). (3) Her voiceclaim is Lili Zanotto from Psychonauts :D (4) She calls Hammerlock "Papa" and Wainwright "Daddy"

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( art by thewikiplayer )

What is your baby's name? Pronouns?: sawyer hale, he/they/xe

Is your baby from a fandom or original?: completely original!! the universe name is "turnabout tech"

How old is your baby?: 16!!

Tell us about your baby!: [MOD NOTE: TW for father death]

sawyer hale is a kid who had a pretty hard knock life in a cyberpunk dystopia city. after deciding his dad kinda sucked, sawyer ran away and emancipated himself at 16 and moved into a different, nicer city and became a hermit for a while. afterwards, he proceeded to save the world twice; once he saved a cyberworld from the big bad capitalists and second he saved the universe from collapsing via terrible creature. as he goes through these adventures he learns how to be comfortable and happy with himself again.

also he destroyed his dad when he possessed a robot body. go kid!!

sawyer super loves tech but he gave it up for a while because Shitty Dad Ruining It For Him, but he eventually finds his passion again and makes phenomenal inventions. also he is the embodiment of Baby because all the adults around him want to scoop him up and carry him around for being a little issues boy with issues. they love singing and the arts in general, and they're very open-minded, which makes them a pretty good friend.

oh yeah all his adventures kinda messed up his biology so he's partially made of code now. and also has wings made of code. he can design them however he wants like retexturing game assets. YIPPIE!

Anything else you want to add?: I'M SO SORRY FOR THE PARAGRAPH. GODSPEED

[hertwood]

👀😈🧠👩‍🏭???

👀 Do you have any WIPs that you would never let see the light of day? If yes, what are they about?

i have several fic ideas that have just petered out and i'm resigned to not finishing. it's not about not sharing them, it's about making peace with never finishing them. (i also have several fics i havent touched in months but im DETERMINED to get back to but that's a separate problem.)

one of those is, sadly, femdomverse 3 (and everything else i had planned). i have shared bits and pieces about it before, and it was going to be called "points present" bc she leaves a pair of her underwear as a ~treat~ for getting his first points ladkfjasldkfjaslkjf

i think my big problem with femdomverse was just down to teething problems. i wrote fdv1 on impulse in under 24hrs, i dont think i would've even finished fdv2 if i wasn't trapped in my appt with covid (thanks covid.) it sorta grew into a much larger idea than it started as and trying to figure out planning it out once i was already in the middle of it. i think it was a good lesson for really taking the time to think out longer projects fully before i post anything in the future.

but fdv still has such a place in my heart and its spirit lives on in my other girlfics!!!!

😈 Is there anything you enjoy doing that you think your readers hate?

this is such an interesting question because i spend very little time thinking about this. i write what i wanna write and if yall like it thats just a bonus :P new ask game tell me things i do as a writer you find annoying??? lol i suppose one thing i do a lot is talk about fics and just not get them finished or posted in a reasonable amount of time. WHICH ANNOYS ME TOO TO BE FAIR. idk. let me know~

🧠 What’s an idea you have that you can’t quite call a WIP yet?

ooooooh gio for u. as a treat. i'll talk abt my sargewood fic idea. this doesn't really count as a wip yet bc i haven't written anything yet, BUT circling back to the first one, planning out longer forms fics is important for me in the writing process. i've only talked abt this with care in DMs so i guess this is its first proper public sharing.

so, it's an au where kyle never really got into racing, he and logan knew each other in carting but kyle's career petered out and he and logan fell of of touch. for logan, his career progresses as we know it irl, until he gets dropped at the end of the 2024 season and he ends up without any sort of drive, goes back to florida in a sort of career limbo. and runs into kyle again!!!!!

but!!!!! surprise!!!! kyle's a dad! (this was all thought up around this btw. i was like how do i make singledad!kyle as a concept into an actual story with substance.) kyle and a high school ex had a baby, kyle realized he was gay so they broke up, she's very very smart and got into law school or smth so she's off doing smart businesswoman shit and kyle is the primary parent who gets child support. (amicable coparenting!!! just to be clear!!!!)

so with all of logan's new free time he can spend all this time with kyle and his kid to the point where lines start to blur and he now has all this free time to unpack any feelings that might pop up. writing a chaptered fic would be so so daunting but i think it'd be a good challenge for me, i just rly need to sent aside time to rly work on outlining everything i want!

👩‍🏭 If one of your fics was going to get you arrested, which one and why?

i'm not quite sure how to answer this question aldfjaslfjasldfja i'm big on. feeling morally neutral abt the fiction we all write. HOWEVER i do know that like, oscarmark is ~controversial~ and i do have this wip. that i havent touched in a while but i love the concept so much i still rly want to get back to at some point. the wip actually predates fdv and i originally was like 'oh i'll just anon post it i'm too embarassed' but now any embarassment abt the wierd shit i write is GONE lmao. i did talk abt it in the replies of this post and thats the most i've said about it before. it's really just a contrived silly little plot all just to set up oscar being fucked over the side of a boat. which is public sex technically which is also a crime. its v self indulgent its very For Me i hope i can take it out of wip purgatory someday :'(

[volskayadottxt]

time to engage in some Speculation*

*seriously, don't pretend i have secret insider info

**i could be booboo the fool here

***thats why im posting this here (no one reads this really) and not on twitter and im already beginning to have second thoughts abt keeping it up so we'll see i guess

i'm not gonna say that aaron's blog post today isn't pr-washed, it totally is (wouldn't get published otherwise). i didn't expect to see any blame laid at the foot of corporate mismanagement. but what i did expect (and did see) is creative mismanagement i've (and others) suspected for a hot minute.

team 4 originally thinking of themselves as an 'mmo team' post-ow launch, with their ultimate goal being the rebuilding of project titan, explains so many strange creative decisions kaplan and the old leadership made prior to his departure. they never really saw ow as we saw ow. we saw it as a fun competitive shooter. they saw it as a stepping stone on the way to creating this massive mmofps.

early in ow's history there were so many weird balancing decisions (example: trying to make each hero equally viable in all situations, balancing around quick play). before the closed beta, im pretty sure they only wanted ow to be playable in dedicated teams of 6. meaning no solo queue. which seems like a REALLY weird decision for a competitive fps, right?

well, now it makes sense. they saw ow as this small part into building this big mmo. chasing that white whale that was project titan. and yeah, in hindsight, easy to think "well they couldn't make it work once, why did they think they could the next time?" well they probably didn't expect ow to be a big runaway success, either. they might've felt like they had the right idea, wrong approach.

it also explains (although i think budgets fall into this as well) why they didn't want to just build a new team for ow2's endgame pve. they saw team 4 as the team that did "everything." that handled the whole franchise.

ironically, we probably wouldn't have gotten archives or (in august) ow2's story missions if it wasn't for that creative vision. we know from former ow producer tracy kennedy that kaplan was thinking of a sequel before ow1 even shipped. that was ow2 and its pve, and eventually... ow3?? the mmo?? so it was something they'd prolly planned to start exploring early in ow1's life cycle.

this also explains why the original ow2 announcement in 2019 was so controversial (thats ignoring the whole blitzchung stuff, which i have zero desire to talk about). i remember kaplan being... kinda hostile in some interviews. like, he was interviewed by nathan grayson during blizzcon 2019 for kotaku. in the published version, grayson expressed frustration that ow1's development had been put on ice for a sequel he didn't really want or expect. kaplan mentioned this first interview in a second interview later (although grayson wasn't mentioned by name). like, he was being professional abt it i guess, but he was clearly upset grayson did not understand the vision and sorta accused him of insulting his team (which i don't think grayson was trying to do, either).

but also--how were we supposed to react? we had no idea the goal was to make titan again. we just assumed ow would function like lol or dota. i guess i can't help but be a little angry. i think the team meant nothing but the best, but a lot of fandom angst could've been avoided if we were told abt what ow1 was (a stepping stone to a larger project) instead of what we thought it was (an always supported online game).

this of course ignores all the corporate mismanagement, which i suspect Jason The Video Game Reporter Guy will cover in the next few weeks. i hold no love for kotick and his goons. but if what aaron is saying is at least marginally true, then the old vision was also a problem. its very easy to lay all the blame at abk corporate and a lot should be, but someone had to pull the creative plug earlier i feel.

at the very least, we now have leadership that's willing to make the tough choices, i guess? i'm certain the mentality of many will be "well they should've done this years ago" but hindsight is 20/20. i'd rather focus on rebuilding now (which is what i think the goal is). and while i have issues w ow2 in it's current state, there's also quite a bit of things i like, and quite a lot of goodwill their narrative team has fostered with me (it helps that the lore/characters/story are my favorite thing perhaps).

i also don't really "blame" aaron or jared. it sucks they've become the face of this when it was a different team, with different members, different structure, different makeup. yes aaron was there but he also wasn't director or ep. jared's been at blizz for like 6 months. i'm not saying trust them wholeheartedly but also... don't treat them inhumanly either.

[drifloonz]

hmm.. do you have any favourite Pokémon/Poképasta characters? If so, what do you like about them? Or.. if you could make your own Poképasta character, what would their concept or design be? Or name in general, you don’t have to do a fully fleshed out backstory for them. Orrr, what’s your favourite thing about being on the internet or being in a fandom?

i... to no ones surprise, reaaally like steven. glitchys up there, but i think his og pokepasta sort of sucks ( which is not an unpopular opinion ), but strangled red ( specifically strangled red, strangled and doors open are... neat, but sort of badly written and way more stereotypical ) is just... mwah. chefs kiss. stories about grief and abt a depressive spiral that gets worse and worse AND you get to see how he was like before it? soo good. you can argue the missingno plotline in it was unnecessary which i could agree but i think its just cool more than anything else, esp since most pokepastas based on gen 1 use it or other glitches in the 1st gens for horror a lot, which i think is interesting. missingno can be many things!

i like to think logically that glitches and stuff in game prob exist in the pokemon universe as well, since... well.. pokemon can be turned into data. you put them into the pc. missingno likely just exists and is a heavily corrupted pokemon that is not supposed to be there, or a glitch that the pc or something made real.

therefore, miki probably was "healed" because missingno "filled" her "missing data" or something like that, but i like to keep it more vague and ambiguous too. you can do a lot with strangled red and steven, miki, and mike too which just intrigues me. once again read lessons in guilt and grief and faulty on ao3. they explore this and steven, mike, ( and daisy who doesnt get enough attention ) in a way i 100% agree with and enjoy .

as for other characters i obviously enjoy glitchy but i much more enjoy the like... post-fnflull version of him cuz' in his original popularity he was just sort of prettyboy red who was also a creepypasta but ppl barely drew him like he was one ( i like fnf lulls interp bc of how his body constantly stutters and how when hes irate his mouth just stretches and shit like that. gmod ragdoll with broken physics ass mf ). also as said before his pokepastas sort of forgettable but i do like the concept of a red stuck in a game self aware bc im allll for that shit. i am an IHNMBIMS fan, i love AM, i love self aware AIs that feel trapped and take it out on every1 else or cope with it in Some Way... very interesting concept, idk.

honorable mentions for pokepastas that ppl prob know that i do not talk abt a lot that i like the writing or concepts for are DISABLED and Hell Bell.

hell bell you could argue has a stereotypical 'pasta ending of "ooooh you die in the game you die for real" but idk i eat up the way they did it in hell bell bc the person doesnt die but they sort of do since nobody can see em anymore ( iirc, i hvent read it in a bit ). also uses gen 4 which as someone who started mainline games with diamond and pearl respectively, i enjoy that a lot.

for DISABLED, its not super deep or scary or anything ( ok well its scary for the narrator obviously ) but its another one that just sorta makes me feel bad in all the right ways.

i have concepts for pokepasta aus of my ocs and some side characters but they arent pokepastas theyre just like... ppl who live in the world ( of fnf lull usually since i like to think everything there is connected and coexists somehow ), but i am not original to save my life so i dont think id make an actual pokepasta anytime soon, lol. the closest i got was making a super horrible choose your own adventure where you played as a cubone on deviantart when i was like idk 9

as for internet and fandom stuff, i dont associate myself w fandoms or fandom terminology and unironically i just start to call myself an "enjoyer" of things, bc i dont like being associated w anything... fandom oriented a lot of the time anymore. a lot of fanonization of characters also sucks. i do think the pokepasta fandom has some funny fanonizations though. like yes dilfify that man ( @ steven )

also esp for pokepastas bc i have Hyperfixation Shame. its why i have a sideblog for it, both so it has a concentrated place to go and so no one knows i like it enough to write abt it lol

thank u 4 asking :]!

[spirit-shroud]

what are some roles that have been largely changed for cityrune? since you said queen was an influencer now :]

hi ty for asking me im vibrating. havent gotten to talk about this au now for three years and now that chapter 2 is like real and this time i can like........draw occasionally and i have more understanding of nuance...... [grips table] [screams]

this isnt quite what you asked but heres what's everyone from chapter 1 has been Up To with a little bit of context (and under a read more bc it got LENGTHY):

kris - professional stay at home teen (they live w/ asgore n help run the flower shop sometimes. this decision was entirely bc i dont like toriel). was wrongly diagnosed w Sudden Soul Rejection when they were incredibly young and given an experimental transplanted soul as a replacement. it works for them fine, give or take having to see gaster once a month for checkups. but sometimes the soul makes them skittish n decides they're going to sit in front of the pc and play 30 consecutive hours of a certain simulation game and not even let them drown people in the pool. if it were entirely up to them, they'd be like. passing out on the sofa to documentaries about bigfoot. or practicing cool knife tricks to impress their friends at their next tabletop meetup

- EDITED IN: the soul is kind of their friend. they are wearing a hypothetical get along shirt. most of the time, they agree on actions and things to do. tends to refer to themself + their soul as we/us which originally was just something they did in their head but they kept slipping in speech/text n just became a Thing of how they talk. switches to 'I/Me' whenever smth is wrong.

- also edited in: they believe the soul they have is their original soul bc nobody has told them otherwise. whenever theyre like 'oh yeah we think about our soul n view it as a separate entity to us like. all the time. it likes to hurt if we make too many choices it doesn't seem to like and kind of forces us to be a toned down version of what we want to be but thats just how souls are haha' and everyone is like.... 'Hey Kris That's Really Not How It Is.' theyre like. 'huh. gonna ignore that for now' - this was going to be a plot point

toriel - head of H0MEWOR1D (H01)'s department of education; kind of lost her roots as a simple math teacher as she was pushed into a lot of power she didn't even really seek out. divorced asgore over some miscommunications in their relationship; also loosely as a result of grief from asriel's death

asgore - the same. runs a lil flower/gift shop. people come in more to talk with him than to buy flowers most of the time, though

asriel Flowey - he's back in flower form, thanks to the government an accident. causes a lot of technology glitches wherever he goes, and wants revenge. isn't sure how to go about it. asriel "died" around 8 years before the story takes place and kris still misses him and refuses to even THINK about even the IDEA of calling someone their sibling after what happened, just in case it somehow happens a second time

susie - more of the same really. she spends most of her time either at grillby's (she's sort of become his assistant n helps with opening/closing. it just happened) or getting into low-stakes trouble w/ kris

noelle - she's in the city's equivalent of college and shes so tired. shes So Abysmally Tired n got kinda pushed 2 follow in her mom's footsteps. she's rarely around anymore except through text or on monsters & mages (dnd) night. (however.........she will come back w/ a long break n hang out w everyone again)

berdly - tbh i didnt even consider berdly when i made the au initially. idk what he's doing. probably in a similar situation to noelle??? canonically got kicked out of the M&M group due to clashes w/ other players but lurks in their group chat to posts memes sometimes

didnt rly think of any other of kris' classmates (+ their families) after ch1 and probably will continue to not, until chs 3-5 come out and i gotta whip up roles and histories for like. a lotta guys all of a sudden. i also forgot about noelle's parents

sans - runs a convenience store that everyone kind of thinks is a front, but also it has really cheap snacks and the local teens make a point of stopping there after school. so essentially, more of the same papyrus - similar to ut. is a very polite and sweet boy but you'll know when he's coming

grillby - he's back. he runs a bar like back in ut but the cozy vibes and weird-for-a-bar hours keep attracting kids who need parents, so half of his menu is comprised of overly sweet mocktails. usually only frequented by monsters

QC - same as usual. has a "rivalry" with grillbz but, theyre besties and have a book club

mettaton - he's real and he's back. he's similar to how he is back in ut w/ his EX body. likes to hang out at grillby's and talk to unsuspecting fans. has a show for everything

napstablook - similar to how they are in ut. helps mtt with making music sometimes. doesn't leave the house too often, but spends a lot of time posting on undernet

undyne - unfortunately. more of the same. she is a cop in the monster district. i am also upset by this but couldn't think of anything better for her

alphys - a doctor studying under dr. gaster in the hopes she'll one day take over his research. she spends most of her time as a nurse with a bigger title, though, and blocks out the weirdness of her job with anime.

gaster - weird guy. H01's top soul researcher and resident House wannabe. trying to manufacture the ultimate soul that can be controlled with simple internal switches, but so far he's only had 1 (very limited) success with a certain human. monsters just melt, and darkners just sorta......get weird... he's onto Something, though.

ralsei - lonely boy with some very strange hobbies. popular on UnderNet for poetry, baking videos, and general cryptid vibe. is the DM for the monsters & mages group (also seems to think everything is actually very fine in H01 when it is very much not)

lancer - about the same. professional Round Boy. lives w/ rouxls full time. follows susie around like a lost puppy and calls himself her "underling."

rouxls - runs a hotel/casino kind of deal where the objective Bad Guys hang out, and usually ends up doing any of the spade king's paperwork.

spade king - mafia godfather. kind of a dick. don't play cards with him

seam - works with the spade king as his right hand cat more or less because they have for a lot of years and are in that 'sunk cost fallacy' zone. thinks of retiring to a quiet life in the monster section of town like, daily

jevil - used to work with the spade king, but got imprisoned for Crimes. got weird after The Accident (separate from asriel's accident)

temmies (all) - dont really get mentioned except offhandedly but they run the monster space station. so far, are the only monsters who have ever been to space.

as far as chapter 2 goes:

yeah i dont have much so far for characters. in the original version of the au i accidentally made darkners as a whole just kinda..... not great? like all sorts of weird organized crime ties n sort of going out of their way to be A Problem to the city (not even in like. a revolution way. in a working against them but with the same goals kinda way). with the whole context it worked At The Time, bc i just had the spade king to look to as a villain, and also in this au the darkners are just trying to survive a world that ultimately was not built for them (that humans think they own, and monsters sort of... seeing this and wondering what it'll mean for them whichever one wins), but w/ new info abt how the dark world works n more guys to work with i want to kind of. edit the vibe a bit. like yea darkners will ultimately do whatever it takes to take over H01, but maybe in a better way than like. idk. all this. it doesnt have to be peaceful or anything it just has to be more adaptable as we meet more kinds of darkners

however yeah i thought up 'queen as some sort of childless mommy blogger/influencer' and that completely revived all memory i had of this au. she should be on mtt's talkshow. also she sells collectible wine glasses w/ her likeness

spamton is another one of gaster's failed soul experiments, but he hasn't melted yet, and seems............fine? sort of. so he hasn't gotten decommissioned yet. he does want to give you malware tho. hot monster singles in your area n all that

im blanking on the rest of the guys but i hope any of this was comprehensible

[cassyapper]

OKAY IVE ACTUALLY PLAYED TWO SESSIONS SINCE MY LAST POST SO IM GONNA COMBINE THEM HERE SORRY FOR THE LENGTH BUT,,IVE COME SO FAR I DONT WANNA STOP NOW

this is gonna be very messy cause i WILL be jumping back and forth as things come back to mind so uhh pls enjoy this absolute ramble <3

anyway. i continued playing omori and boy do i have some Thoughts

so first session; i went through the pyre(something i forgot the full name sob) forest/sprout mole village/sweetheart’s castle in one go and let me TELL YOU. DOING THAT WAS FUCKING INSANE I WENT NUTS holy shit.

so anyway.

pyre forest!!!! the lil race against the big spider coming after u for disturbing the smaller spiders mechanic was very fun i had a lot of fun figuring out the best routes to take. i know normally mechanics like that lead to ppl getting frustrated cause u have to keep retrying but i had a lot of fun!!!! sum annoyance but good natured type, th kind that just makes u try harder u know? i just enjoyed it JKFN;FN; candles in the foggy forest....now That is an aesthetic

the rare bear scared the fuckin shit out of me i remember it didn’t attack me straight away so i was like “aw (:” but then when i press x on him it takes me to a BATTLE SCREEN AND SUDDEN THAT MF IS TERRIFYING I WAS LIKE WHWHWHWHWKJDNJ. very funny i honestly wished i recorded my reaction

also omori is afraid of drowning...................................i am breathing heavily. i think whatever happened to mari is related to at least one of the things omori is scared of. so either heights, spiders, or drowning it seems. spiders doesnt seem super likely as a contributor to her death, and while falling from a height is more realistic, such a senseless way of dying doesnt seem to rlly fit ? with the vibe i get from the kiddos in the real world. which makes me think maybe drowning/otherwise suffocating is how she died...but we’ll see. also due to the forgotten library part, we know omori explicitly feared spiders/drowning before mari died so it’s also probable im jus talking out my ass here but still,,,,thoughts

also this motherfucker?

literally fucking terrifying. IT’S BODY IS MADE OF SUCC’D SPROUT MOLES...i still have no idea what exactly it was doing to them but jesus h christ!!!! evil and fucked up. do not feel bad for curbstomping it

sprout mole village!!!! very cute, im v excited to send that one dude his brother’s care package. i like how, when theyre not lost, sprout moles can be real endearing lil guys,,,theyre not my fav lil enemies but (:

also for some reason omori is the first game ive played where i really care about getting achievements ? so i literally did the back and forth on my save file just to get all the season sprout mole achievements JKDJFJ;. i ended up sticking w spring tho before moving on for real cause spring is my fav season irl (:

also i felt SO BAD for cutting down that one sprout mole’s chistmas tree he was just trying to celebrate but i wanted to see that present and coincidentally becoming a christmas ruiner was an achievement so all’s fair in love and war i suppose

ALSO. th fuckin plant monster thing under the scientist sprout mole’s room. major little shop of horror vibes from the design, absolutely adored it!!!!! originally i did  just cut the wire holding the piano over it, ending it in one go, but i was very curious abt it so i reloaded a save file to actually fight it and

i know it only spread that gas to make the kiddos happy cause being happy reduces attack i think ? it decreases attack/defense but seeing the kiddos smile so much was nice (:

however

omori...sunny....son boy.........u good ?

and now. sweetheart

the way the sprout moles completely adore and depend on sweetheart gives me such awful evil vibes and combined with such a luxurious background was fucking incredible

sweetheart herself, speaking of. bitch (sorta affectionately, certainly not derogatory)

i talked to every sprout mole in the audience before taking my seat and i literally dont know why. even when i picked up the pattern of where the unique dialogue could be found (usually the sprout moles farthest right) i still talked to all of them......just in case ? i have no idea. i dont know why i did that. i feel it’s important that i note it tho

LMAO SO WHEN SPROUT MOLE MIKE DID THE MINUTE OF SILENCE FOR YE OLD SPROUT MOLE

I LITERALLY FELT SO FUCKING BAD LMAO I WAS LIKE OH MY GOD NO!!!!!! I DID THAT!!! I KILLED HIM!!! OH MY GOD!!! I WONDER HOW AWKWARD OMORI KEL HERO AND AUBREY FELT IN THE AUDIENCE HOLY SHIT THEY HAD FRONT ROW SEATS TO SPROUT MOLE MIKE’S MOURNING!!! MY GOD FJKFN;;

also sprout mole mike describing 3′7″ inches as ”towering” was the FUNNIEST shit i have ever seen. also i have to wonder, since sweetheart made up the whole show of sweetheart’s quest for hearts in the first place, if she was seriously down to marry a sprout mole if one suited her fancy. jus v funny to me honestly. SPEAKING of sweetheart’s dating patterns I NOTICED THOSE FEM SKELETONS IN THE DUNGEON!!!!! BI SWEETHEART!!!! SHE’S JUST AS DOWN FOR GIRLS AS SHE IS BOYS

i know TECHNICALLY not everyone is in the dungeon for failing to be a good enough suitor but STILL...COME ON. THIS WAS BEFORE WE KNEW THAT. SWEETHEART BI I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL

anyway

when the lights when out and lightning struck the third contestant, i knew Immediately something was gonna go down. and when the mustache sprout mole was like “oh yes!! u!! in the striped pjs!! u absolute beast ur perfect!!!” i KNEW hero had just been selected as the replacement i was goign completely fucking nuts i was like OH MY GODNFNG; HIS HEART IS ALREADY TAKEN BY MARI!!!!!!! STOP

i ended up taking so many screenshots during this part cause i was going feral so here take a glance just cause i love, uh, hero

OUR HERO IN SHINING ARMOR DJLBH;KFJB

also GOD FUCKING DAMMIT IM SHORTER THAN HERO

hero shaking on the stage when he was introduced...oh my HEART....IM SO FOND FOR THIS BOY WTF!!!!! DKJDN;N

this is not really NEWS to me since it’s implied hero is tall but like come ON..... sorry just every time i find out a character is explicitly taller than me i need to huff about it, moving on,

HERO FUCKS

sorry i just have so many screenshorts during this aprt cause i was going fucking crazy but

literally terrifying! sweetheart bathes in that shit!! christ!

is blood good for ur skin? i imagine, so long as like...gore isnt in it and it’s solely blood it cant be BAD necessarily......but good ? regardless very fucked up. besides the fact that well, uh, BLOOD, blood is also sticky as hell. ur telling me sweetheart willinglhy bathed in that shit? disgusting. at least thin it out

anyway I HAD SO MUCH FUN DOING THE PUZZLES AT SWEETHEART’S CASTLE....FROM THE DUNGEONS TO THE KITCHENS TO THE BALLROOM TO THE LIBRARY TO THE GARDENS JUST EVERYTHING!!!! IT WAS SO FUN I ENJOYED FIGURING IT OUT SO MUCH IT WAS LITERALLY DELIGHTFUL...I LOVE THIS GAME SO MUCH THE GAMEPLAY IS SO FUCKING EPIC I LITERALLY HAVE SO MUJCH FUN.......OH MY GOD I JUST. INCREIDBLE!!!! FUCK

also the lil sir maximus bit.........i honestly felt really awful over having to kill them ): i think i even tried running once but it wouldnt let me...it hurt man ): they were just a family....

um but anyway,

i think it was rlly sweet how aubrey protested to the wedding cause she was worried abt sweetheart,,,like i cant rlly explain it idk how to put it into words,,like sweetheart is clearly not mentally well and having an episode, and aubrey being the only one to say “hey what ur doing is self-destructive and isolating” just mmmh. she cares a lot,,,and *i* care aubrey

also sweetheart’s battle theme fucking SLAPPED...SO GODDAMN HARD IM STILL QUAKING OVER IT....FUCKING BANGER YO!!!!!! INCREDIBLE

ah but alas

BASIL........I NOTICED THAT IT WAS HIS GHOST/SHADOW DURING THE EXIT FROM OTHERWORLD AS WELL BUT JUST FUCK

im so worried about basil ):

and it being so obvious that none of the others can see...........them asking omori if he’s okay.....oh my god. i go nuts

and then...the forgotten library part

i literally cried, again, oh my fucking god

these kids loved each other so much they ADORED the time they spent with each other and im QUAKING to know WHAT HAPPENED TO MARI......HOW DID THE FALLOUT GO. I NEED TO KNOW I NEED TO KNOW I NEED TO KNOW

i know there are multiple endings to this game and on god i am not QUITTING until i get the happiest ending there is for these kids im literally a goddamn fuckign mess oh my god

MARI SHWOING UP IN THE LIBRARY AT ONE POINT AND LEADING OMORI...........IM LTIERALLY GOIGN INSANE OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD HE LOVED HIS SISTER SO MUCH HE’S SO CLEARLY LOST WITHOUT HER I CANT FUCKING DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. I NEED TO KNOW I NEED TO KNOW I NEED TO KNOW

GOD

okay sorry i just. ive said ti before but the grief in this game is so real and palpable and it aches, it aches so bad. also the white egret orchids in the library...i see u

but regardless.... session two real world electric boogaloo

LOVE that kel is like “so i need to run errands but u wanna come with me right? of course u do!” like fuck i rlly do. kel is just so delightful i would literally do anything to spend time with him

ALSO i noticed u can just refuse to open the door both times kel’s knocked now and it makes me wonder....if u could choose to ignore kel ? and then venture out urself or just ? i wonder what would even happen if u chose to not open the door. im CERTAINLY not doing it myself at the very least not this playthrough but i am curious...i bet that’s how u get a bad ending, by not talking w kel

but anyway....

aubrey and her gang not saying anything in the pizza parlor........i jus think abt that is all

ALSO!! pet rocks!!!!!!!!! LOVE this lil thing it’s so cute. jus rock paper scissors it babey

speaking of lil bits, love all the mini quests in the real world...it’s just rlly fun and builds up this cute lil town........it also makes me think that whatever happened to mari cant have been anything except an accident, bc no one comments on what a tragedy it was to omori. like if it was murder, there’s no way such a horrific situation wouldnt engulf the town for a bit and sweep over it for weeks at least, but that just doesnt seem to have happened. this is def me reading too into it tho;; point is neighbors nice (: also i got the seashell necklace and i go apeshit

ALSO......THE FUCKING...........CHURCH. I VISITED WITH KEL ON A COMPLETE WHIM CAUSE I WAS CURIOUS IF THE PASTOR WOULD TALK MORE ABT AUBREY BUT NO. INSTEAD HE TALKS ABT THE WEIRD VIBE FORM THE GRAVEYARD HE’S GETTING!!! AND THE DUDE WHO CHILLS IN THE GRAVEYARD SAYS SHIT ABT THE SPIRITS GETTING READY FOR SOMEONE TO JOIN THEM!!!! BITCH WAHT THE FUCK

THERE’S NOF UCKING WAY THIS ISNT ABOUT BASIL. THERE IS NO!!! WAY!!!! I SWEAR ON GOD IF BASIL DIES I WILL LOSE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ESP CAUSE THERE IS LITERALLY NO OTHER WAY HE COULD DIE EXCEPT SUICIDE THAT’S WHAT IT HAS BEEN IMPLYING OVER AND OVER I GO NUTS I GO APESHIT NO NO NO NO!!!!!!!!!!!!

FUCK

OKAY SORRY I JUST. HHHHHHHHHHH

baby has acquired baby

kel’s family is rlly cute,,,,v heartwarming. i trust them

i do worry abt like...the stark difference between recognizing kel’s accomplishments and hero’s...i just idk. i just keep thinking abt that bit in kel’s story abt hero’s depression when his parents focused on hero and ignored him, and i just. kel’s family is good People but i worry if kel has a good support system...i jus........): i am watching

ahh THE BASIL MISSING PART MADE MY HEART LITERALLY FUCKING DROP..I WAS SO FUCKING PANICKED I WAS LIKE OH MY GOD THIS IS IT BASIL IS DEAD

THANKFULLY HE WASNT BUT HOLY GOD HOW THAT WHOLE SITUATION PANNED OUT MADE ME GO NUTS!!!!!!! BASIL...AUBREY...HER GANG.......FUCK OH M YOGD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD

THANK G O D I SNOOPED AROUND KEL’S HOUSE BEFORE LEAVING I WOULD HAVE H A T E D TO FIGHT THEM ALL AT ONCE IM GLAD I WAS ABLE TO JUST PEPPER SPRAY THEM JESUS CHRIST

oh my god kim like asking for aubrey all concerned before deciding to trust her and leaving.....kim i diagnose u with lesbain

the whole fucking. basil almost drowning scene. i seriously feel like ive changed like as a person over it. i am thinking . i am thinking. i am only evee thinking about mari and how omori just loved her so much and how the thought of her gave him strength. th pic of her ghost holding omori’s hand in the water made me cry

MMMM BUT. HERO!!!

I DIE I DIE I DIE HE’S SO PRETTY FUCK ALSO HIM PICKING UP BASIL WOOOOOOOO THIS IS WHAT IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THAT’S WHAT IT’S ALL ABOUT YEAHHHHHHHH

god i feel so bad about leaving aubrey tho. shes so clearly not okay and she so clearly did not mean to push basil in and oh my GOD I JUST...PLEASE....PLEASE CAN WE JUST TLAK TO HER I NEED TO TLAK TO HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I NEED TO FUCK

the ghosts of omori and aubrey on the swings made me cry out like i had been physically assaulted

AHH BUT THEN TAKING BASIL HOME AND WHILE HE’S IN HIS BED HE JUST SAYS “oh sunny...there’s not way out of this...is there?” I LITERALLY GO BUCKWILD APESHIT INSANE STUPDI!!!!!! BASIL YOURE PUTTING UP A LOT OF ALARMING FLAGS HERE!!! PLEASE DO NOT FUCKING DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!

FUCK. CHRIST. HELL. SHIT. THIS GAME IS DRIVING ME FUCKING CRAZY

GOD

oh my god but the day ending with hero and kel sleeping over at omori’s house...im kdnd im jkdim im not uhm okay THEY BUILT A BLANKET FORT PLEASE..I LOVE THEM

goddd hero going into the piano room....playing sum........and then asking omori abt the song he and mari used to play on violin...and then THE TITLE SCREEN MUSIC STARTS PLAYING....HI. HI HELLO HI YOU CANT FUCKIGN DO THAT HI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK YOUFBJFGJNGN;EJNE; IM GOIGN NUTS

also the name omori comes from the piano.............interesting...i wonder why sunny likes being called omori in the dreamscape...

god but omori not having a srs hallucination cause he’s w his friends and he feels safe...im gonna sob

However. i did glance into the bathroom mirror. AND INSTEAD OF THE EYE MF IT’S A DISTORTED AS HELL GHOST MARI???IM SO FUCKIGN SCARED. IM SO SCARED. WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK? CREEPY AS HELL!!!

ohh my god this GAME

so finally i ended up in whitespace again. do NOT like that omori is completely alone in the world!!! what the FUCK!!!!!!!! I AM SO SCARED AT ALL TIMES. im literally about to go play sum more tho after dinner so i will see what happens. god i jsut......this game is so fucking good it has me by the balls dude. SO glad i decided to play it bruh

anyway thanks for reading all of this if u did, it’s an absolute monster ik and ur a real one

[homestuckexamination]

sorry if this is a rude question, but could you tell us abt your tulpa?

... Did Tumblr fuck up Read More functionality for Asks? It keeps putting them on the ASK itself instead of the post... I’ll try again since again, this is a bit weird, but, if it doesn’t Read More it, fuck it, I guess it’s out in the open.

It’s actually not rude at all! My awkwardness when it comes to sharing this kind of stuff stems not from it being personal, but from it being outright weird and not knowing how to approach talking about this. She does however appreciate the attention and is egging me on to spill the beans since I already mentioned her, sooooo.

You guys actually have met her! I uh, okay so. Personal story time. Back when I was 15-16 I was starting to get bad grades for the first time in my life, because, I can learn and memorize shit very easily, but at that point I was starting to lose focus and interest on the things they were teaching, and it was paired with some absolutely horrible teachers, so... Yeah. Bad times. Freaking out because I didn’t know how to handle this kind of stuff, so I started to looking up guides for meditation to help me focus.

At that time, too, I was starting to become aware of what Lucid Dreaming was, and I was looking stuff about Astral Projection, and it all sorta mixed into my search leading me to discovering Tulpae! Which for those who don’t know about them, refers to Thoughtforms or sorta, personas given shape intentionally and willingly in your mind through constant interaction. The brain is dumb, and when you talk to something for long enough, it tricks itself into responding. (It’s more complex than that but that’s the gist of the process).

So of course 15 year old me is going to try this shit, it sounds cool, it includes meditation, and it could help me focus for exams (It didn’t). Namely, however, I was really into Bleach at the time. I had been Roleplaying Bleach OC stuff for a long while at that point, and had this whole-ass original setting different from canon with a lot of cool bizarre stuff I liked just pumped into it. An one of my OCs was Saku, a pink-haired demon girl that through shenanigans had sort of gotten locked into an otherwise totally normal and shy boy, and now they shared a body and she could possess him. Similitudes were drawn, and of course I thought the best course of action would be to have my Demonic Horror Trope Bad Girl be the base to create a separate entity within my own mind. Cool!

So I did. X3 She’s just been there for years at this point. We talk and discuss stuff, she’s helped me deal with existential bullshit, and recently I’ve been more open about her and having her interact with more friends of mine. Namely though, as I said, you guys have met her! She evolved in her own different way and became the ‘de-facto’ base for my OC, rather than the other way around, and I ended up using her in other original projects...

And, namely, she’s got a Fantroll, which I have shared around before.

Soooooo yeah. Crowded brain!

[seijch]

BY DAY, you attend classes and sling drinks at the campus cafe. By night, you’re known as the Harbinger, an individual with the Gift of shadow and darkness. Your two jobs have never had any reason to collide…not until the appearance of a fellow Gifted by the name of Ace, anyway.

[ read luck of the draw here !! ]

this is an extra post for me to infodump on all the worldbuilding details i never got to fit into my already obnoxiously large fic 🕺🏻🕺🏻 its holding my brain hostage so maybe posting this will help!!!

please read luck of the draw before clicking the readmore !! there are spoilers abound (and you probably won’t understand much of what i’m saying if you haven’t read the fic LMAO)

ABOUT THE CONCEPT

the very core of luck of the draw isn’t actually unique to kenji or to haikyuu in general; in fact, it was originally a part of a superhero!skz series i was planning to write but never got around to. the foundation of this fic -- kenji’s power and the idea of them being opposing forces that slowly draw together -- was originally given to stray kids’ hyunjin. i never went past the Thinking Stage with it, so it was fairly easy to hand the concept over to futakuchi when i moved fandoms.

the dynamic of this fic in general was inspired pretty heavily by miraculous ladybug’s “love square,” but i ... obviously wasn’t going to write all four sides of it so i stuck to the civilian identities (the reader and kenji) and the alteregos (harbinger and ace). in the kpop version of this wip, the reader and hyunjin were coworkers, but in moving from one fandom to another and reworking it for futakuchi, i decided to make them friends instead. they’re not particularly close (they’re definitely comfortable but not close Emotionally) to start with, but there’s potential for something to start!

ABOUT THE WORLD

in this universe, the city is ruled by two major factions that control much of the economy: seijoh, who controls the entertainment/tourism industries and has its fingers in most of the smaller businesses around the city (such as johzenji and dateko) and nekoma, who is partnered with the equally large fukurodani to control shipment of all kinds as well as the food industry (among others). nekoma has allies within the local government, and seijoh all but controls the law enforcement.

karasuno, on the other hand, works entirely from the underground to overhaul the way things are run in the city; it’s a bit .... corrupt as of right now, and they seek to change that. 

at the top are typically individuals blessed with special powers known as gifts. these gifts can be as mundane as the ability to make flowers bloom wherever you walk or as powerful as being able to alter the flow of time. there exist a series of regulations (and a shit ton of paperwork) that come about whenever an individual happens to manifest a gift. 

however, the city’s gifted demographic is incorrectly represented; a chunk of the gifted population are instead drawn to the allure of making money by doing illicit deeds for companies like seijoh or nekoma. these individuals’ gifts are never properly documented due to the traceability it lends itself to, should a job go wrong.

the government is supposedly in talks to enact stricter laws on the gifted, despite them making up a comparatively small percentage of the population. the head of the department of gifted individuals, ushijima wakatoshi, is a particularly overwhelming force in support of better regulation of his fellow gifted.

ABOUT THE CHARACTERS

in the first draft of luck of the draw, the sequence of events and relationship dynamics were MUCH different. in the final draft, you see the alteregos being drawn to each other first before you see the civilians come together. 

in that first draft, it was originally centered on the civilians getting together despite kinda-sorta being attracted to each other’s alterego? as a result, the kiss scene between the alteregos was still there but it was DRASTICALLY different. the whole idea of it and imo moral ambiguitity (kenji and the reader never went official with their relationship in the first draft) didn’t sit right with me at all; it felt a little like i was using cheating as a plot device which ??? no.

to make the long story short, the execution of that (tbh poorly developed) idea was.......less than stellar.

so i took a look at the chronology and basically upended the entire midsection to make the concept something that was less awful morally? that’s what i hope happened, anyway LJSKDFLSD

in the first draft, the reader (as harbinger) was also much less competent than they are in the final draft as a result of having been affiliated with karasuno for a shorter time. in truth, the harbinger’s origin story didn’t surface until i was in the middle of writing the second draft!

when it comes to the other characters:

oikawa doesn’t have a gift, which is rather rare for someone with their thumb sitting so heavily on the city’s pulse point

iwaizumi’s gift is entirely up to interpretation! him and oikawa making formal appearances in the story was something that only came up towards the end of draft two, so i didn’t have the space (word count wise) to really give either much thought

kyotani came into his gift without any control over it, and is only given amnesty because he was found hiding by iwaizumi

i really really wanted to talk about kyotani in this fic but ultimately it wasnt revolving around him + i once again didn’t have space to even tease an encounter with him (so in the fic proper he’s mostly there as a cameo + to scare you as you read into a potential action scene)

aone and kenji actually come from the same company that happened to come under seijoh’s control, so they’re more comfortable with each other than anyone else!

hinata has the gift of manipulation as long as you’re making eye contact with him; unfortunately, if he wills it, it’s rather hard to break eye contact once you’ve made it -- aone made the mistake of glancing at him during the takeover at seijoh hq, leading to his hold on harbinger loosening

kageyama obviously has the gift of ice/hail/snow manipulation to a rather strong extent, considering he can create it where there is none and lower the temperature of the air around him (the reader cannot create their own darkness, only manipulate what is around them)

he also has some beef with oikawa (or is it the other way around?) that involves him formerly working under seijoh -- not one of their many smaller companies, but seijoh itself (much like iwaizumi and after kageyama leaves, kyotani)

in terms of who’s been with karasuno the longest of the introduced cast, it’s tsukishima/three-eyes > hinata = kageyama > reader (but not by much)

MISCELLANEOUS

following the takeover of seijoh, tsukishima finds himself at wit’s end much more often LMAO

there are a good amount of deleted scenes and scenes that were only added in at the very last second!

among the deleted scenes is a scene where the civilians are at the park -- in the first draft, it happened in the middle, but in the second it was towards the end. it got taken out because come the end of the second draft, i realized it no longer fit ...

in terms of completion status, it probably ?? took a little over a month from this to go from Thinking Stage to the 14.2k monstrosity you see now? there were a couple of weeks early on where i did nothing on my ipad and laptop except outline and write, respectively

i definitely got burned out halfway through (which is abt the time i posted the xc2 au .. i NEEDED to work on smth else)

the idea of the clock tower wasn’t present at all in the first draft!! i only really came up with it in the second draft because i’d rather have them meet somewhere consistent and identifiable rather than some nondescript building

the running joke (?) of them getting drinks together wasn’t present until the third and final draft -- originally the scene where ace asks “do you remember our last conversation?” had a different beginning

in fact, a lot of the scenes that are a bit more...emotionally charged (see: every scene after ace’s unmasking as well as the movie night scene where the civilians struggle to define what their relationship has become) had to be overhauled dramatically

ummm i love kenji thats it! none of this would be possible if i didnt have the strongest mf brainrot for him so ... ! theres that LMAO

(theres probably more im forgetting to say ........ if any of you want to pick my brain regarding the chronology or the characters or why i had them say something or do something send me an ask! this post tbh is almost entirely for me but i didnt put this much thought into a fic that long to NOT share it with everyone else)

[iamparadoxic99]

hey i want to know more abt ur ocs! if u dont mind it wld be cool if u could like. tell a little abt them

oh fuck, where do i begin. how about i start with the various random one i just have as a concept and nothing really more. like i got this living ragdoll that just sorta exists to make people happy and enjoys wearing various dresses cause dresses are fucking cute.than i’ve got this vague feral slime that like fuck society and all i just want to consume. and various other i’m forgetting at the mo

then i’ve got this one completly unique and original character that i’ve tried to write something of a story for, but never really posted any sort of finale version. And they’re Jinx teach, a nb writer that had dropped out of college due to agoraphobia that was caused by the high stress envoment of college. And when they woke up on their 21st birthday, june 13th, 2018. meaning they were born on a friday the 13th in june, 1997. Anyways, they wake up and remember their past life as this a Great Evil that once tried to destroy the world. but they’re not motivated to do that anymore cause they like the world they’re living in, even tho it’s just their small apartment they really refuse to go outside of, due to the above mentioned agoraphobia. but yeah they’re like 5′1, got grey eyes, messy mid back at least brown hear. and enjoy wearing large slightly oversized sweater

and i’ve got two other competetly orginal characters, that are dating, whom i have a series of various short stories writen about. One is Melody, an ace succubus, whom more of a huggubus, , and her girlfriend, Sapphire. whom i just realized in the latest piece of writting i’ve realsed for them is half vampire, half something or other. might be dullahan, might be somethign else i don’t know.anyways, there is just system in the world where succubi, whom live in a netherworld sorta of place, make deals with individuals that reside in the mortal plane, as well as some that don’t, to do things for them. usually these things are those that bring the individuals some of pleasure, in exchage for something the succubus believe to be of equal value to what they did. and usually it’s some sort of sex thing, which is reason in this world for why succubi are known as sex demons, but it doesn’t always have to be a sex thing. And that’s what Melody is all about, a succubus only does those non-sexual jobs and such. Which is how she met Sapphire, whom she basically worked as a cosplay model for, so Sapphire could make sure that the cosplays that she was making were good and nothing was off with them. And eventually the two of them started dating and living together. and they’re so in love with each other and i try and do a good job of making everyhing all cute and and some shade of wholesome. yeah, i’ve got some drawing as references to them on here.

let me move onto like my danganronpa oc, i’ve got this main one i’ve got fleash out but never done anything with. The Ultimate seamstress, she basically make all her own clothes and such. her name is Naomi Maki. And basically she started making clothes basically out of a sort of jealousy, cause she has i’m not sure if it was a twin sister or an younger sister that kept having growth spurts causing their parents to spend more money and attention on her sister than her. So in a childish, but also sad, way thought that hey, if i make some new clothes for her out of her old clothes, than our parents don’t have to buy her new clothes and they can start paying attention to me again. it was of course terrible, but her sister was basically enamored with her so she loved it. and that basically what set her down the path of being the ultimate seamstress. of course her talent isn’t limited to just sewing clothe together, she can knit, crochet, and do embroidery. She usually wears a sweatshirt dress. but underneath it is a tank top and short. She wears glasses as well.

and now my homestuck ones. all fantrolls. And i’ve basically got all the ones i’ve got fleashed out a bit, enough to even talk about, in a fansession i’m currently writing, so you can find out mroe about all of them by reading that. and i’ve also talked about them quite a bit already on here so i can go in a bit less detail about them all.so first is talbot, he is my tired son with a poor concept of self care due to her horendious sleeping habbits he’s an olive knight of void and has a crow lususi have caecam, she is my more free daughter, a teal witch of rage, with a bat lusus. she’s blind, but gets by with text to speach and echolocation. she’s really hard to descrine cause i actually don’t know what she’s about really either, she’s just really fleashed out and i get in this mind space for her.i’ve got algaea, my jade maid of blood. she’s somehow a functional disaster of a gay. she does martial arts cause she originated from a dnd 5e homestuck homebrew., so i just kept that in as a part of her whole character. she has also picked up several different hobbies and such cause she has overheard cute girls how pretty they think girls who do those sort of thing are.also somehow i’ve ended up shipping all three of them together paleways, in a threeways moirialship.

now i’ve also got athoos and paagal two halves of the same troll, but really, they’re not just halves, they’re two full trolls that just happen to inhabit the same body and used to be the same troll, but shhh… i haven’t really revieled that in the fansession yet, i’m getting to that. ones a bronze female heir of heart and the other is a nb page of mind.

i have ocyete whom i created recently for my fansession, is a nb purple seer of time, otaku whom just enjoys liing life slowly. and just always have a good idea of what is going on and what will happened.avsati, indigo prince of space who is all about the details of stuff. and can get a bit too wrapped up in it all. and yeah he can be a bit much, he he usually means wellfinally althaf, a curelean rouge of life that loves excerising and such. and while is he is a bit of a hot head and such. he never stays angry or mad long when he loese his temper, and always sincerely appologizes for his rude behavior

and that’s really all of my big major ocs that i can think of right now. and i spent like an hour on this wow

[mwagneto]

1, 30 & 36

1: Talk about the first time you watched your favorite movie.

oh god you're braver than any us marine ok so instead of what everyone expects I'll do a detour and start with the honourable mention that is rdj sherlock, i was super depressed (and I mean like. incredibly so) after sherlock s4 because it just sucked so bad, like i was deadass in ruins and i was trying to find ANYTHING to take my mind off it and by the end of February I watched and read pretty much all Sherlock media there is except for rdj because for some reason I thought it was bad?? but then I noticed the first movie was downloaded on my laptop so I went ok fuck it and watched it on the 26th of February and HOLY SHIT I fell in love with RDJude's dynamic literally immediately their chemistry was so fucking good and the plot and the script and the setting and the music and- point is I fucking loved it so I watched the second movie on the same day and Mother of FUCK it was somehow even better and gayer and sweet Jesus I've been obsessed with them since

NOW onto the real deal, light of my life and my reason for living....Rocketman

Jesus Christ I don't think I've ever been this hyped for a movie in my life

I saw the first trailer on November 11th but I wasn't into it at all mainly because I saw it in theaters and they played the censored version and made it look like some het movie about an imaginary person

But then I saw it trending when the second trailer came out and I scrolled through the trending tag and watched the trailer and boy I was HOOKED

And holy fuck the wait was Agonising especially since the fandom on here consisted of like. Me and 3 or 4 other people and then some ppl who didn't post but reblogged stuff - point is the fandom just. Didn't Exist

By the time carpool came out there were a bit more but still basically nothing, hell in my desperation I even looked at stan tw*tter a few times but I regretted it each time and thankfully I don't remember anything specific

But anywayS so the movie is supposed to come out on the 31st of May but for some reason they release it on the 18th in the UK and then turns out it won't come out until the 5th of June here???

I was so fucking mad my friend and I literally almost went to Wien to watch it

Worst of all, the big cinema chain that's in my city didn't even put the tickets out

And when they did they only put them out for Thursday and only the dubbed version

Which, ew, but I was like I don't care I'll take what I can get

But THEN I went into the city one Saturday and I was just riding the tram listening to the soundtrack when in passing I saw a theater that had a big ass Rocketman sign on the front

It was literally like a 0.1 second glimpse because the tram was going fast but I immediately went rabid and found it online and turns out not only were they showing Rocketman on the 5th of June, they also have the original English version

So I booked two tickets immediately and waited because I still wasn't sure the usual cinema wouldn't put their tickets out

So I stayed up every night until midnight to see if there were tickets but No

Finally they put them out on Tuesday midnight so a day before it's supposed to be released but only for Thursday so I was like ok fuck you I'm going to the other one

Oh yeah by this point I've been logged off Tumblr for weeks because i didn't want spoilers so I didn't have Any Rocketman content at all, I didn't even dare to look at YouTube videos or anything because I was scared the recommended section would spoil me

So yeah I was absolutely content deprived

Fucking FINALLY the 5th of June rolls around and we get to the theater and wait for it to start and jesus fukingn

I'm gonna be honest I literally don't even remember much because I was so high on "oh my fucking god I'm finally watching it" but holy SHIT IT WAS JUST. SO GOOD.

I do remember a few things

I know I screamed out loud when Richard first appeared during crocodile rock (even tho I knew he was gonna be there at some point but it was still so sudden I fuckin lost it)

Also I held my friend's hands during tiny dancer like my life depended on it skdnd

And I've told this story a million times but tmttp shocked the soul out of me coz I knew what it meant scene wise and I didn't think they'd play it so fuckign early skmfsk I had like a full body convulsion and drew my hands back and my calf muscle cramped so hard it hurt for a whole week afterwards

anyway I didn't cry

somehow

I thought I'd be sobbing like mad but I didn't and I still haven't

Idk for some reason I just can't cry over this even tho I SHOULD and I want to

my friend did sjsnfjd

we were fucking. spent dude I don't think I stopped smiling until I fell asleep

Anyway after she somewhat finished crying and we exchanged a few words we somehow got up from our seats and left

She had to print a few things so we walked to a photocopier and talked about the movie but it wasn't anything more coherent than just verbal keysmashes

Literally it was so smfjsjjdsjdn i felt high

I was so fucking HAPPY bro it was so fucking good and everything I expected and way more like we were over the fucking moon

I brought food coz I like to eat during movies but I didn't even dare to look away from the screen during this one

While she got her printing sorted I logged back into Tumblr and checked the tags (they were still disappointingly empty😔)

We then went to a park near the tram and ate the food I brought and talked abt the movie till it got dark at which point we headed for the train and talked there some more before she had to get off at her stop

I spent the rest of the ride smiling like an idiot listening to the soundtrack and texting her & other people

I went for a bit of a walk on the mountain I live on to clear my head but I was literally so happy and giddy I couldn't stop smiling hhh I'm losing it just thinking about all the stuff I felt

By that point I was super low and empty coz of school stuff and irl stuff so to feel so many emotions after months of feeling absolutely nothing was a LOT

Anyway I got home by...idk, late, and blasted the soundtrack on full volume for a while before booking her and myself tickets for Thursday so we could watch it again

And we did

And it was just as amazing as the first time

And then on impulse I watched it again on Friday

And then I went to watch it again on Saturday and as soon as it ended I ran to a nearby theater and watched it again immediately

Then again on Wednesday

After watching it on the 5th I lost my appetite both for food and for water, and also my need for sleep, so until I gained it back after watching it next Wednesday I basically didn't eat, drink or sleep for an entire week but it didn't take a toll on me, somehow

The Rocketman power

Anyway we watched it again on Saturday and Sunday (the girl I mentioned came with me both times then and on Saturday so did another girl)

And then I had exams, a class trip and a family vacation so I couldn't watch it for an agonizing two weeks

but then finally watched it again on the 3rd of July with another friend (a 3rd one)

And then on the 6th of July with the original girl

And then on the 7th and the 9th at home alone and them on the 12th with yet another friend (4th one)

Then I went to watch it in theaters alone again on the 18th

And then one more time with the first girl on the 24th

Then on the 3rd of August alone

And then the first girl came over on the 9th of August and we watched the deleted scenes and the extras and then the extended movie

Then I was once again busy so I couldn't watch it until the 25th

And I took my laptop to the hotel I'm staying at for two weeks rn so I watched it here on the 30th

And now here we are

Jesus fucking Christ I'm so sorry for making you read all this

This took me like an hour to type

Anyway! Peace and thanks for asking skdmsmcmsmmd

30: Talk about what turns you off.

I don't have any turnons or turnoffs tbh skdndn I'm. not about that sorta stuff

36: Talk about your guilty pleasures.

sometimes I hateread awful old fanfics on Wattpad because they make me wanna die but like in a good way

[chiaki-c]

Watched endgame lmao. warnings: salty

Generally speaking it felt much inferior to infinity war. I hadn't spoiled myself but like the time travel was p much what i was expecting i just didnt think it would be so drawn out?? Like it felt like those shenaningans basically took up the whole movie when i assumed it would be more of a means to an end thing? Idek.

I was hoping we'd get some loki by the end of it but :( it took me and my sister a while to realize oh wait he wasnt included in the people resurrected with the gauntlet right b u t he did escape in that other timeline so i guess pretty fucked up way to sorta concede that he is maybe probably alive but also kinda you know?? erase all of his character development post the first fucking avenger lmao this feels like doctor who bullshit all over again. I hate time travel.

I want to know why the russos hate thor so much. Like in infinity war they didnt retain any of his progress in ragnarok but at least it was pretty standard thor shenaningans but why was he selected to be comic relief this round. Like i thought bruce had gotten it bad in infinity war but god. The need to have him not only be pathetic for laughs but also heavily underline that it was his mental health declining making him act like that aND OPENLY MAKING FUN OF IT AND OF ITS MANIFESTATION. WOW?? I honestly can't begin to see how they could be so blatantly insensitive about it in such a big movie. And valkirye being like "and he drinks now :///" like HELLO?????? HELLLLLOOOOOO LMAO

More thor ranting. It was nice to see frigga but, again, her talk with thor really enforced the feel that ragnarok development never existed and also like. It was nice but. You know who else didn't get a single chance to say goodbye to frigga and never actually make peace with the passing of the only person who wholly accepted him?

He also didnt get an abundance of meaningful scenes really. So you know. Missed chance, maybe.

Anyway.

It was so dirty of them to kill nat. They didnt treat her right once, not a single time (winter soldier notwithstanding) so of course they had to end her arc the only possible way. by doing her dirty.

Like in a way?? I'm extremely emotional about clint and nat reunion + her literally giving her life in order for him to spend the rest of it with his family but i just phisically can't bring myself to ignore that they still preferred to kill a woman who, despite all the different flavours of questionable writing was at her core always!! a character whose heart was genuinely in a good place and who didn't get a single reward for her continuous efforts to make up for her past choices. nah she got to die so that Bad Man With Family could be happy. Like im not That mad but also like i can't not be yknow!! And still im so!! About the hand holding and forehead touching bc yes I AM GOING TO DIE MAD ABOUT THESE TWO AND WHAT IT COULD HAVE BEEN!!!!!!!!!!

Also Nebula. I was so excited the first half abt her bc it felt like she was getting to be part of the team but then THE MOVIE NEEDED HER TO BE FORGETTABLE ENOUGH TO THEM THAT THEY WOULD NOT NOTICE WEIRD BEHAVIOR + HER STAYING OUTSIDE?? WHILE THEY WERE USING THE GAUNTLET LIKE LMAO WHAT. And then bc they needed to wrap up no one got to say bye to gamora even tho she wasn't their version of her but still yknow with those people apparently being unable to be brought back you'd think it would warrant a lil emotional moment? Idek. The amount of this movie that was lost to silly gimmicks is more irritating the more i think abt it.

Lmao @ carol and okoye being in the promos for the woke points and then amounting to jack shit in the actual movie

They really did say fuck stevebucky rights uh. Idk what even to say about this just. Bucky never gets anything. Im wondering why only steve gets to have a chance at a normal life in his rightful time. Could it be bc maybe bucky didn't have anyone besides steve to go back to? /thinking emoji Too bad he wasn't as up high in steve's list of stuff then. I'm saltier abt this one than i originally realized :/

Ppl who are more eloquent than me can surely talk better about the time travel inconsistencies but yeah. A lot of it was glaringly wonky and up to wide range of interpretation which i guess is very convenient for them but to me ends up being kinda unsatisfying especially for like. The big final chapter.

and i gotta say i got really emotional when tony said i am iron man aaand through the whole death scene. I'm gonna blame my period for the tears but honestly?!?!?! I feel like the part of me who basically grew up with this franchise and put a lot of emotional investment in it just really went all out at seeing that. Like i was such a big iron man stan and even when that toned down a lot i always liked him till the end so!!! :'( but compared to natasha his death was a lot more fanservicy id say and like. Of course he'll get all the honors and stuff and it wasn't like totally unexpected or anything. I'm mad at myself for being emo about it but yeah couldnt help it anyway :(

but yeah im mostly meh about it unfortunately