#which also makes me question what the hell alex sees in him

[skylarbee]

the day am fans realise that miles/milex shippers are less problematic and harmful to the fandom than lv/her supporters will be one of the best days of my life

rant incoming because I'm going insane:

i will never ever understand why am fans have so much beef with milex shippers.

i have been in SO many fandoms throughout my life, I've been obsessed with SO many bands whose members are shipped to the point of insanity, and it was never a problem. sure, some people didn't like the ships, but why are so many am fans acting like this is something unique? bts, mcr, dan and phil, harry potter, I've seen fucking everything. every other fandom in the world are just this obsessed with their ships, trying to prove that two men are fucking, posting theories and so on. shipping was always a thing in fandoms and always will be, especially if we're talking about male celebrities and teenage girls.

having said this, the kind of fandom i have never been in is one where grown ass women bring this much toxicity to the community and behave like children. there are hundreds of celebrities whose girlfriends are not liked by the fans, but no girlfriend ever engaged this much with the haters, probably because they realised that it would only make things worse, and the fans would hate them even more.

we could've had some peaceful end of the tour content, but no, we have this instead. every few months something has to be done by a certain someone in order for people to pay attention to her, and so that in the end fans will forget the reason they're fans and engage in stupid shit like this, defeating the whole purpose of being a music fan.

all this drama is slowly making me not want to have anything to do with am or the fandom anymore. if not for miles and him being connected to am, i would've stopped giving a fuck about alex years ago (technically not through his fault, but then also because of him). this whole thing just makes me sad because miles does not deserve to be associated with these people and the fact that he will never be able to get rid of them is so not it.

[cl6teen]

old habits (die hard) ❀ cl16

in which charles charles has a knack for fucking things up, and you have a talent for slowly letting him back in

find part one here.

contains: social media au, ex!charles leclerc x fem!reader, angsty charles and yn living her best life, toxic relationships maybe, mentions of new partners, charles is a confusing man, charles is a jealous asshole

note: i don’t think this is the final part lmao it’s kinda left of a cliff (if u saw me repost no u didn’t)

your phone 📞

charlie

hey

i miss you

a lot

read, 11:23 pm.

charlie

please don’t be like that y/n

i’m serious

you

charles you literally have a girlfriend

charlie

she’s not my girlfriend

you

do you think i’m stupid? like actually

charlie

no

but she really isn’t, we’re just talking

and hanging out i guess

you

oh my god

charlie

love, you know i miss you

you

yes, because finding another girl right after saying you only want to focus on racing sends me such a great message

you’re confusing as hell

charlie

i know, i really messed up.

i shouldn’t have broken up with you in the first place

but the season was getting so intense and i really want this championship, i thought it would be better for us to put it on pause to save us both the trouble

you

so what’s so different about her that makes her an exception?

charles

alex is easy for me

you

so i’m difficult?

charles

that’s not what i mean

you

no it is what you mean

i’m difficult for showing up to your races and being there when you need me

or when i’m there for you when you dnf? or when ferrari fucks up your strategy?

i was willing to stay friends with you after i did all that and you still broke up with me because i had hopes we would make it work and get back together

charlie

i do want to get back together

you

no you don’t

you moved on so quickly like i was nothing

charlie

you also got with someone too

you

because i didn’t want to look like an idiot seeing all the news after telling my friends i had hope

charlie

yeah but posting him in your bed??

you

so you’re just saying all of this because of that guy i posted?

wtf is your deal charles

fuck you

❀ instagram ❀

liked by carlossainz55, landonorris, alexalbon, and 70,331others

yourinstagram larger than life (in madrid)

view all comments

lilymhe oh my god

lilymhe you scandalous girl

yourinstagram oops?

landonorris he better watch his hands

yourinstagram he said “fuck off”

landonorris i’ll punch him in his face

carlossainz55 mariposa 🦋

yourinstagram 🥺

user are these two dating???

4zaferrari no they’re just friends, this is someone else

kikagomes sexy sexy pair 💋

yourinstagram you’re sexier bebe

pierregasly get away from my girlfriend

yourinstagram get off my page maybe?

alexalbon show me the man

yourinstagram no you’ll just steal him

user loved watching your vlog the other day

liked by yourinstagram

user seeing yn happy is so great but i can’t be the only one missing her and charles right??

user where are you going next omg!!

yourinstagram no idea!!

lando.jpg updated their story 1 hour ago

seen by yourinstagram, charles_leclerc, carlossainz55 and 1 million others

yourinstagram replied to this story: i did not give permission for you to post this young man!

❀ twitter ❀

your phone 📞

charlie

you put him in your vlog? and you’re still posting him?

are you dating

y/n

are we seriously doing this right now

why are you stalking me

charlie

i’m not stalking you, i just care

fuck just answer the question please

y/n

i’m barely posting him, his face wasn’t in it

and no, we’re just seeing each other right now. yk summer flings i guess

charlie

you know it hurts me to see this y/n, please love

y/n

i don’t care, we’re not together anymore

you texting me is hurting everyone, your “friend” included

charlie

she knows we’re not dating

please just come back to monaco y/n

we can talk face to face

can i call you right now?

you

i’m with carlos and lando

charlie

are you also with that guy

you

yeah

charlie

will you finally tell me who he is?

you

does it really matter?

let’s just talk when i’m back in monaco please

and let me enjoy my vacation in peace

charlie

when are you back?

you

i’ll let you know

charlie

okay

i love you

you

yeah

love you too

❀ instagram ❀

yourinstagram updated their story 10 mins ago

❀ twitter ❀

tags: @1655clean @i-wish-this-was-me @sunny44 @leclercdream

[lovewithmary]

THE ENGINEER | MCU X FORMULA ONE CROSSOVER

summary: hell hath no fury than a woman scorned. or, where viviana is pissed.

previous

fc: gabbi garcia

author’s note: I lowkey want to write viviana doing interviews solo and with other drivers? like a 'who knows me better' with mick, max, and viviana then mick and max compete to see who knows her better. would you guys like to see that?

btw i put the potential guys viviana might end up with as tags, so if you want to see who she might be with, go ahead.

twitter (i WILL NOT call it the other name)

"Mick!"

Mick turned around upon hearing his name being called from behind, only to see Lando and Oscar. "Have you been on Twitter today?" Lando asked, and Mick shook his head no.

Lando sighed, causing Mick to worry about what could possibly be on Twitter to make him and Oscar go to him. "It's bad, mate. People have been accusing Viviana of boosting you and Max," Oscar informed him.

Mick's eyes opened wide, not expecting that. He expected more of the dating rumors considering it's all he's been able to see on his timeline. They were admittedly funny but also concerning, considering they ranged from Viviana dating one of the guys on the grid behind his and Max's back to Viviana being in a poly relationship with all the single guys on the grid.

He had to block the person who made the latter rumor since the image was too specific for him to not think about it. Mick could barely make eye contact with anyone that day.

"Do you think Viviana has seen it?" Lando questioned, and Mick shook his head no.

"We would've known by now if Viviana had seen it, she hates whenever someone says that one of her friends used her for an advantage," Mick told them.

There was one and only one time that Viviana had been genuinely used by someone for their own benefit. She had met someone in Peter's High School (she was in college at that point, getting her 2nd degree) and she had thought that he genuinely liked her and vice versa.

But it turned out that he just wanted her to put in a good word for her dad, and she ultimately dumped him and blacklisted him from getting any Stark Industries job in the future. To her, she claimed, "If he had to use me to get a chance with the company, then he wasn't good enough to get in by pure skill."

Mick looked at both McLaren guys and hesitantly asked, "do any of the other guys believe the rumor?"

Both Oscar and Lando shook their heads, relieving Mick since he didn't want to ruin any friendships he had with the guys just because of a baseless rumor. "We all agreed it was a pretty shit rumor, to be honest," Oscar commented.

Mick quirked a smile upon hearing that, amused at the Australian. He then felt his phone buzz, which made him realize that he had to look for both Viviana and Max in order to warn them. "Sorry, guys, I need to go find Viviana and Max," he excused himself.

But before he could leave, Lando blurted out, "Are Viviana and Max dating? I know they said they weren't but they act like boyfriend and girlfriend,"

"Viviana and Max... have a different relationship. I don't really want to say a lot because it's not my story to tell, but Viviana helped Max with a lot when it came to Jos since she was the only one willing to stand up to him. And when Tony became Iron Man and then the Avengers happened, Max was a really big help to Viviana," Mick tried to explain.

"And how about you?"

"I'm the one that helps out the both of them, just like they do to me,"

Viviana was currently on a phone call with potential investors for Stark Industries, which was why Max offered his driver's room for her privacy. And in an effort to try and waste time while he had nothing to do, he was walking around the paddock.

Which was where Carlos, Pierre, Charles, Daniel, and Alex saw Max, which prompted the Redbull driver to talk to them.

"Did Viviana come today?" Carlos questioned, and immediately, Max was suspicious of the two Ferrari drivers.

"She had a call for her company, so she's currently in my driver's room," Max explained.

"I thought she wouldn't come because of the rumors about her," Charles carelessly said.

"What rumors?" Max questioned.

"Oh, you haven't heard the rumors yet..." Charles awkwardly said.

"What rumors?" was all Max repeated.

"People have been saying that Viviana is the reason why you and Mick are in the position you guys are in," Alex explained.

"What?! That's ridiculous," Max said.

"Which is what we said, but a lot of people on social media are saying otherwise," Carlos said.

"MAX!" Mick yelled out, capturing the attention of the group of drivers.

"Did you see—"

"Let me see the tweet," Max demanded and Mick wordlessly gave him his phone, which already had the tweet up.

"No way FIA would investigate something based on a rumor,"

"FIA have investigated for less,"

"Do you think?—"

"Parang hindi nila alam na kahit wala ako, magaling sila. Mga bobo." It's like they don't know that even without me, they're still good. Idiots. Viviana said, practically marching towards the growing group of drivers, evidently mad.

"Nakita mo to?" Did you see this? Viviana said.

"Vi, you're speaking in Tagalog again. And no matter how much we try to learn, we still can't understand it whenever you speak fast," Mick told her, reminding her she had to calm down.

"The tweet. Did you see the stupid tweet? I mean come on, we only revealed that we're friends this year but suddenly I'm the reason why the teams aren't performing the way that they should? It's not my fault other teams aren't that good!" Viviana ranted.

A cough from behind Viviana was heard, making the girl freeze. She swore silently to herself before turning around, only to see a couple of drivers that belonged to said teams that weren't good, according to her.

She awkwardly laughed, amusing some of the drivers who thought that this was a nice change compared to her usual composed professional self they'd always seen on the rare time she was being interviewed. "I'm sorry, but only because you heard me and not because of what I've said," Viviana honestly told them.

"Good save, Vi," Max said, enjoying the fact that his best friend was making what was originally an angering moment for her turned awkward.

"Shut up, Max. Anyways, what should I do with the rumors?" Viviana asked.

"I don't think you should say anything," Daniel spoke up, causing everyone to look at him.

He looked unsure for a second because of the sudden amount of eyes on him, but once he looked at Viviana, who was confused at what he said, he elaborated, "Whether or not you say something won't change anything. These people are convinced you did something, so you should stay quiet for now since you did nothing wrong,"

"Who are you and what have you done with Daniel Ricciardo?" Pierre jokingly said, causing the other drivers to laugh.

"Hey, I can give out good advice!" Daniel tried defending himself.

"Yeah, but they usually come with back up plans A-Z," Charles said.

"Well, it can't be any worse than my original plan," Viviana thoughtfully said.

"What was your original plan?" Alex questioned.

"Make a F1 Team and buy my way in," she nonchalantly said, shocking those around her.

"What?!"

"Well, I'm obviously not going to do that. But, I would try to prove people wrong and it'd send a message of, 'you'd know if I did something' but people would probably get angry because of who I am and my last name," she rolled her eyes.

[rwrbmovie]

BTS of #RWRBMovie: 'z' in your last name

TZP via HOLA:

Clifton Collins Jr., who plays my father in the film, was amazing. I knew of him. I’d seen his projects, but we’d never crossed paths before. And then we met and we just got along, thick as thieves. And he’s like an OG Mexican from Los Angeles which was so colorful. He made it feel like there was family on set. Same with Matthew being Puerto Rican. Their influences help you get into that vibe, and then you do the scene and it’s wonderful. You really bring that accuracy to it.

There’s a line in the film when Alex and Henry are in Paris, and Henry asks him a question about his mom’s campaign, and Alex starts telling him about his father and his abuela coming to the States. The line is something like “If you’re an immigrant in America and you have a ‘Z’ in your last name, there’s a lot of people in positions of power that don’t look and sound like you. I’ve been given the opportunity to be someone in the world that my father didn’t see when he was growing up.” As someone with two ‘Zs’ in his last name (laughs), that was a tough scene for me because I had to be there as Alex and not as Taylor. It was very emotional to think of my family and what they went through to come to the United States. Even though they came here a long time ago, you still think about all of the people that are coming to America today and about all of their stories. Alex realizes that his father didn’t have any role models growing up and now he’s a congressman. That fuels his fire to be the change. That was so exciting for me.

From NYT:

For both Zakhar Perez and the director, the character Alex’s biracial identity was particularly meaningful. López grew up in Panama City, Fla., with his Puerto Rican father and Polish Russian mother, while Zakhar Perez is of Mexican, Middle Eastern and Mediterranean descent and was raised in northwest Indiana, where he said there was only one other Mexican family. “Matthew and I talked a lot about the mestizo journey,” Zakhar Perez said in a video call before SAG-AFTRA, the actor’s union, went on strike. “Being part Mexican, part lots of other things, I don’t want to say you’re forgotten, but in today’s world, it’s like, you’re either this or you’re that. There’s nothing in between. I’m kind of a cultural chameleon.” “As a young Latiné queer man, I never read something that centered someone like Alex,” López said, echoing his star. “If I had been presented with this character when I was in my late teens, early 20s, it may have changed how I thought about myself.”

From Windy City Times:

Was the part about having a Z in your last name personal or the book? ML: It was personal. That was about me and Taylor. It came from a conversation that Taylor and I had when making the film.

From Metro Weekly:

Alex has a line about grow ing up in Texas as a kid with a last name that ends with Z, which is I guess something else you can relate to, Florida style. ML: And Taylor Zakhar Perez also. Taylor and I talked about that scene a lot as being something that we both understood. My aunt Priscilla Lopez is a beloved, beloved stage actor. She was in the original cast of A Chorus Line. And there's a story that she tells about Mandy Gonzalez, who was in In the Heights with her, and Mandy once told Priscilla that Priscilla made it okay for her to be someone with a Z in her last name. And that was a thing that Taylor and I spent a lot of time discussing as well. It was important to me that that scene be in the movie. There was never a chance in hell that that scene was ever getting cut.

From Teen Vogue:

TV: One of my favorite parts is when they’re in Paris, and Alex talks about being a young person of color coming up from Texas and not seeing anybody who looked like himself or his dad in politics, and Henry’s response to that simply being: “I’m learning.” I don’t know if you were in the theater for that one, but half the crowd was like, awwwww. ML: Yeah, I was for that. TV: I’m married to a white man, and I was like, that is the perfect thing a white man can say in that situation. ML: I’m married to a white man, too. Speaking as someone who is a person of color married to a white man: that’s like the ultimate thing you ever want your white boyfriend or husband or partner to say. That’s it. “I’m learning.”

ML via THR:

There’s a scene in the movie that is very much me, which I gave Taylor after they’ve had sex for the first time. They’re there in pillow talk mode, and he tells Henry about what it’s like to be the son of an immigrant with a Z in your last name. It was really important to me to talk about growing up with a Z in your last name and even just how our names are pronounced, the spellings of our names sometimes if you have Latin ancestry. To have to answer for your name has always been something for me that I struggled with until I stopped struggling with it. So, I needed to put that into Alex’s story and when it came time to shoot that scene again, it was something I didn’t have to explain to Taylor Zakhar Perez. He got it instantly. The only thing that I did screw him up with is like, “We’re going to do this [scene] as a oner, and we’re going to do it as a top shot that starts in a wide shot and comes all the way down to your face, and we’re not going to leave this scene until you get it right in one.”

[starcrossedxwriter]

Wicked Fantasies Part 2 (MBJ x OC)

Warnings: noneeeee

“You fuckin’ idiot!” Alex seethed, the clicks of her heels reverberated throughout Michael’s living room as she stalked, TMZ playing loudly in the background. “What part of ‘cleaning up the image’ was difficult to understand?” 

Michael gripped the back of his chair in his office in frustration. It was not just the shitty situation he found himself in when he woke up this morning, it was also his manager’s attitude. However, he did not correct Alex. He had been working with her for most of his career and the reason Alex had lasted this long was that she was unafraid of calling Michael a ‘fucking idiot’ if he was acting like one. 

“Why didn’t you just call the ambulance and then wait to leave? Did you need to do the walk of shame across the hotel lobby with her??” 

Michael scoffed. “If you think I’m that type of nigga, you really don’t know me. She was unconscious. How was I supposed to know there were fuckin’ cameras in the lobby??” 

Alex threw his hands up in the air. “Because it’s 2022 at the fucking St. Regis! There’re cameras every fuckin’ where! Do you think I have you go in back doors and service elevators for fucking fun??? Because it is easier??? Why do you insist on making my job harder?? Do you hate me or something? We’re on the biggest run of your fucking career. And you jeopardize it for some pussy?” 

Michael’s fingers massaged his temples. He had not gotten a single break in the last three days. He felt like he was stuck in the deepest circle of hell since he drove off from Raven’s apartment days prior. Every moment of his day was consumed with one thought, one singular person: Raven. What was she doing? How was she healing? Did she come up with the money she needed? Should he write her a check and drop it off anonymously? Would she even accept that or appreciate it? Question after question ran through his brain regardless of how hard he tried to excommunicate her from it. She was stuck to him like super glue. He replayed their one night together over and over again, jerking off on more than one occasion dreaming of the things he wished to do to her body. So many disgusting and filthy things. 

This disgusting pining lasted for two days before he gave in, last night, and called Helen to schedule another date with her. And it was not even about the sex. She had a concussion so he would not feel comfortable fucking even if she was up for it. He just wanted to see her, check in on her. And that terrified him. Never had a one-night stand or woman he paid to sleep with captured his mind quite like this. He loved fucking Tasha but he did not pine for her or even really think about her outside when he was horny and needed release. But Raven… she was something he had never experienced before. And he hated it. So in a split second decision, he booked Tasha instead, in hopes that fucking another woman would get her out of his mind once and for all. And it worked for a moment. The few hours of sleep he got after leaving Tasha was the first Raven-free sleep he had gotten until he woke up to his face plastered all over TMZ as he followed the EMTs wheeling her out of the hotel. 

The angle of the camera blocked her face, thankfully, but there was no mistaking him. The media ran with their own stories, some neutral and some speculating things Michael would never have dreamed of. It was a PR nightmare, which is why his manager was at his house to do damage control. However, Michael did not particularly care about his own reputation. He just worried if there was another angle with Raven’s face visible. He was used to being in the press, often for being attached to different random women, but Raven did not seem like the type who would enjoy such attention. And he did not even have her number to call and satisfy the small part of him that wanted to check in on her. The part of him he despised. 

“Are you even listening to me??” Alex called out, ending her rant to realize Michael’s mind was clearly elsewhere. 

Michael straightened up and pushed Raven out of his head for a moment, a true feat. 

“My bad. Look, I didn’t jeopardize anything. You can’t even see her face! Besides, no matter what the press says, everyone loves me, we’re good.” 

Alex shook her head. “That isn’t the point. You don’t think they won’t try to figure out who this girl is?? Try to piece together some story about something nefarious or terrible that happened? You were seen leaving a hotel with an unconscious woman… there are only a couple ways I can spin this shit that it doesn’t look bad for you. And just so you’re clear, people want to fuck you. They don’t love you. At best, people think you’re neutral and at worst, they think you’re an asshole. The only thing they all agree on is that you’re one of those things with extreme talent, a cute face and award-winning smile. So they ignore that ambiguity because because every woman and some men want to fuck you.”  

Michael walked over to his decanter, pouring himself a glass of whiskey. He did not care that it was 10 am, it was 5 pm somewhere in the world, he supposed. 

“And now you’re drinking at 10 a.m. Should I add a stint in rehab to my list of things to spin this week?”

Michael chose to ignore that dig. “You made your point, Alexandra. I’m sorry. I’m an ass,” he admitted, which he knew was true. He would never win an award for sweetest personality. “So what can we do? What are the ways we can spin it?” 

She shrugged. “Well, the truth would be fine… embarrassing but unproblematic IF she wasn’t a prostitute. I’m all for the girls getting their money but now really isn’t the time in our culture for you to be attached to a prostitute.” 

“It’s 2022, who cares if I pay for sex?” 

“I think people care if you paid for sex and it was so rough you sent her to the damn hospital, Mike. That’s what people would care about. And then it’s a whole other thing… did she want it that rough, did she know it would be that rough, did she consent to whatever caused the accident? And the answer to all of those could be yes and we could say that but without her word, it’s murky as fuck. And then it begs reporters to ask the question, are there women with sorted tales of rough sex with Hollywood’s favorite movie star that they didn’t want even if this one was consensual? Also I don’t necessarily think it’s a good time to admit to the world that you pay for sex damn near every week.” 

“Plenty of men pay for sex, Alex.” 

“Sure and that’s fine. But people judge them too. When you’re handsome and could just be in a relationship. Look, I’m not judging but it sends a certain playboy, unattached message. And that shit was fine when you were 30 but we’re pushing 40. And you’re the one that said when Creed 3 comes out next year, you want to take the jump to directing more. Producers, studios need to see you as a serious person to take you seriously as a director. Denzel is serious, George Clooney is serious, John Krasinki is serious, Kevin Costner is serious. And studios trust them with projects because they are serious people! You know what all those men have in common?? They are settled, family men with beautiful wives who are kick ass in their own right and they DON’T frequent prostitutes! Or if they do, we don’t fucking know it because they aren’t plastered on TMZ. Look, I say this with all the love in the world for you… but you’re the definition of an unserious person and I need you to get serious before you’re a fucking 45, washed up actor wasting his incredible talent playin’ the same role in every action movie because no one takes you seriously.” 

Michael nodded. “I hear you. And I understand. I promised I’d clean it up and I slipped. But we can fix this… we always do. If the truth works, why don’t we just say that-” 

“Did you listen to anything I just said?” Alex immediately started to say before Michael cut her off. 

“With a minor lie… We say it was my girlfriend. We were enjoying a night after partying, had sex, fell off the bed, she hit her head, I took her to the hospital out of an abundance of caution. And we turn it back on the media and say they infringed on a private moment between us by turning a health emergency into a public spectacle.” 

Alex rubbed her forehead. “Thank God you are attractive,” she muttered to herself. “I mean in theory, that’s the ideal play but there’s one major flaw in that plan, you’re tragically single. Like I’ve known you for a decade and you’ve never even been romantically tied with a woman for more than a night. I can’t sell a girlfriend that doesn’t exist anymore than I can sell magic at Hogwarts. And there’s no woman that we could pass off as this girl in time. ” 

“What if we say it’s Raven… the actual girl?” The words slipped out of his mouth before he could stop himself. There were flaws in the plan, he could recognize that. But he wanted to see her again and this might be his only option to do so.

“I’m all for a PR relationship, don’t get me wrong. They can be successful. But it won’t help you if and when one of her old clients comes out later and tells the world she was a prostitute. Then we are back where we started but worse because everyone knows you were in a fake relationship.”  

Michael shook his head. “Nah, nah, she’s perfect. I was her first real date so there are no clients to come out to say shit. Helen is hella strict with her girls, no press, so if I had to guess, she’s gonna fire her,” though the thought frustrated him as she did nothing wrong. “So there’ll be no record of her working for an agency. We can say we were tryin’ to keep it under wraps because she isn’t used to the spotlight. I haven’t been seen with a fling in months so we can say it’s fairly new. Besides, if there’s a camera with an angle on her face, it covers our asses.” 

Michael did not want to admit why he was fighting so hard to enter into a fake relationship with Raven. Did not want to admit it to Alex or himself. This was a dangerous plan, he knew it. There were so many reasons it was foolish and would fall apart. But he did not care about a single one of those reasons. He reasoned that this was a logical course of action. She was probably the best person to enter a fake relationship with too. She understood how to put on a show and what she was being paid for and knew that no feelings would be involved. This would be a mere business transaction, he would get her and his own feelings out of his system, and everyone would be happy. 

“It… could work,” she admitted. “But you’d have to keep up a public relationship with all the fixings for at least six months to sell it. You’d have to do everything I say, NO more visits with Tasha or any other woman. We’d need to get through the premiere of your current film next month, the holidays, the Creed premiere, nominations, and the Oscars in March before you could break it off. Would she even agree to that? Most of these relationships work because it’s mutually beneficial. You know another celebrity who could use the PR bump. What would even be in it for her?” 

“Let me worry about that, aight? Just trust me. I messed up, let me fix it this time. My first step as a serious person.” He flashed her his award winning smile, which made Alex laugh. 

“You realize I am the only woman on the planet that shit doesn’t work on?”

He shrugged. “You’ve stuck by me this long… I think it works on you too,” he winked at her.

“Barely,” she mumbled. She stared at him for a moment before surrendering to his plan. She did not really have a better one at the moment. “Fine. I can give you 12 hours to convince her. We need to get a statement out tomorrow morning. Fix this, Mike.” 

“Consider it already fixed,” he vowed, determined to clean up his own image and get what he wanted in the process. 

***

“Helen, please! I need this job!” 

“And I can’t have my girls plastered across Page Six and TMZ. Press brings attention I don’t need.” 

“You can’t even see my face!” Raven argued. “No one knows it’s me. Please don’t do this.” 

She knew Helen could hear her pleas but she also knew the woman did not care. “Honey, the internet will figure out who you are like that,” Raven could hear the faint snap of fingers through her phone. “And I can’t have you on my roster when they do. I told you if it went left, you were out. Gotta cut you loose.” 

“B-” The phone cut out as Helen hung up on her, clearly exhausted from arguing when there was no changing her mind. 

Raven slid back into bed and tried to keep the tears from falling. Not out of pride this time, she was alone with no one to hear her sobs. But she knew crying would only make the dull pain in her head worse. She tried to hold it in until it became difficult to breath, small gasps filling her quiet bedroom. She grabbed her pillow and forced it over her face to muffle them as they turned into all out sobs. 

Helen was right, the internet would realize who she was in no time. And then her life would truly be over. She’d never get a job anywhere ever again, she’d likely lose the day job she had right now. She shuddered to think what her family would say. Likely, it would give her father the excuse he always wanted to toss her out of their lives for good, but part of her felt like that might have been the one silver lining to everything. And before that shoe dropped, she would have to figure out the larger looming financial problems barreling toward her. While her bills were just barely covered with her job and residuals, she had not come up with the rest of the money she promised her family and her only way of making fast cash was gone. .

She just needed a break, a break from the stress of life. The last 18 months had been hell and she just felt like she was dragging around a weight that only got heavier and heavier. But if she stopped or put it down, everything would crumble. She was exhausted and worn out. She curled up in her bed, crying to herself, praying God would send something to help her and fast.

***

Michael knocked at the door of Raven’s apartment. If he hadn’t been there a mere three days prior, he would’ve been convinced his driver took him to the wrong address. He teetered on his heels for a moment or two until the door swung open. 

“Hello?” The young woman, a cute curly-haired light skin girl, opened the door. “Oh umm can I help you?” 

Michael could tell she recognized him, however, he gave her kudos for not completely melting and losing all common sense like most women do when they saw him.

“Hi, I have the right building but I might have the wrong apartment,” he admitted. “Looking for Raven?” 

“Oh yea, she’s in her room. Come in. She’s a bit under the weather though… not sure if she’s up for company,” she gave him an apologetic shrug before calling out for Raven. “Rae!” 

Michael glanced around their small apartment. Though the building and neighborhood left a lot to be desired in his opinion, their apartment was a cute two bedroom. Fairly small, he decided, for two people, but it was quaint. His eyes went to the floor to ceiling bookshelf tucked in the corner. It was clear someone had started off extremely meticulous and organized with it, each row perfectly color coordinated. However, the person had acquired too many books to maintain that level of organization, many sat in neat stacks on the floor in front of the bookshelf, growing so tall, they obscured the bottom shelf.

“That girl consumes books like they’re air,” her roommate remarked, following Michael’s line of sight to the bookshelf.  

He did not even get to acknowledge her statement when one of the closed doors off the living room opened. 

Raven emerged, her eyes red and puffy, all of her curly hair piled on top of her head with a bright colored scarf. 

“What’s up Tiff?” Her words were punctured by sniffles, which let Michael know she had been crying. 

An inexplicable wave of concern hit him. He could guess what had caused it and immediately felt guilty, an emotion he rarely felt about anything. 

“You have a visitor?” 

Raven glanced up, almost jumping when she realized Michael B. Jordan was standing in her living room. He watched as she hastily wiped her eyes and glanced down at her disheveled appearance. She still looked insanely beautiful, even in an oversized sweatshirt and leggings.

“Umm.. h-hi. T-thanks, Tiff. W-what are you doing here?” 

“You two know each other?” 

“Yea we met the other night… at that party…” She shook her head quietly as Michael started to open his mouth. “Umm wanna talk in my room?” She gestured toward her bedroom, Michael nodding as he followed her. 

“Nice to meet you,” he threw over his shoulder to Tiffany as he followed Raven back into her room. Her face was neutral as she ushered him inside and shut the door behind him.

She had never been more displeased to see anyone in her life. Her date with him was supposed to be her big break and all it did was send her tumbling back to the bottom again. She was not mad at him, he had done nothing wrong. But between her concussion and the inability to stop thinking about him for the last three days and now losing her job, it was all too much to handle. And she knew he only came down there to talk about the photo and ensure she was not going to say anything to the media. 

“What are you doing here? In case you were confused, this counts as creepy stalker shit! Like right up there at the top of the list!” 

Michael was not expecting her visceral reaction to him, one of anger. However, he did not let it deter him. 

“I needed to talk to you.”

“About the photo?” she rushed out, just wanting to get him out of her room so she could go back to wallowing. “Look, you wasted a trip. I already lost my job so if they figure out it was me, it’ll just look like a one-night stand. And I don’t plan on selling our wild night together to a magazine or anything if that’s what you’re worried about. That wouldn’t be fair to you.” She walked over to her bed and plopped down. “So whatever you came to offer me to keep me quiet about your kinks and what happened, keep it. And if you want me to sign something, whatever, that’s fine. Just hand it over so we can get this over with.” 

He wrinkled his nose in offense at the assumption that he was there to pay her off. While he did have a certain “playboy, bad boy” image, he would have hoped he did not give off the vibe that he wanted to buy her silence. He knew it happened but it was not his style.

“That wasn’t what I came by to talk about at all. I do wanna talk about the photo but first, I just wanted to see how you were doing? I didn’t have your number and wanted to check on you. You got a concussion and then the leak… you were already stressed at the hospital, figured this didn’t make shit easier. Thought you could use a friendly face that knows what’s goin’ on?”  

Her expression softened. She had not expected that. Nor had she expected him to so accurately determine what she needed. It had been a hard day with this looming secret and no one to talk to without outing herself. Tiffany was a good friend but she would not agree with how Raven chose to make extra money. 

“O-Oh… umm… t-thank you. That’s r-really sweet. S-sorry for assuming the worst. I just figured you…” she stopped herself. “Never mind. I’m fine, or at least I will be. Head hurts less. Few more days, I’ll be healed a-and I’ll figure out the rest. Or just wait for my life to implode,” she grimaced. 

He stared at her. “You’ve been cryin’.” His eyes scanned the waste basket by the desk, which was overflowing with tissues and the ones that littered her soft rose and cream colored comforter. “A lot for just a few hours. You can be honest with me.”

She rubbed her eyes, trying to stop more from falling. “J-Just been a rough year and a half or so, rough life,” she whispered. “I take a step in the right direction and get knocked five back.” She cleared her throat before shaking her head, her body language telling Michael everything he needed to know. All he saw was exhaustion, exhaustion that clung to the bones and never let go, exhaustion so painful it was difficult to even admit it to yourself for fear of giving into it. “But it’ll turn around. So I’m good, I’m good,” she assured him. He could not tell if those words were more for him or herself. 

She stared at him for a few moments, feeling the awkwardness of having a movie star in her small cluttered bedroom. “That it?”

“Um no, actually. I might have a solution to both of our problems… if you’re interested.”

She laughed and shook her head, laying back down on her bed so she could rest her head. He had already seen her in the hospital, she figured he could deal with watching her lay down. 

“Unless you have a job for me, I don’t really know how you can help me.” 

“Well actually… I do. It’s not a traditional job or some shit but it'll be worth it. Be my girlfriend for the next six months.” 

He said the words so casually and easily, Raven would have thought he was asking her to be his dog walker. She immediately sat up, her eyes bugging out of her head. 

“What??”  

He stuffed his hands in his jacket pockets. “My movie is coming out next month and my directorial debut is next year. The role is already getting buzz for award season. But my team thinks I need to change up my public image ahead of the promo and seem like a more serious person.” She wanted to laugh at his use of air quotes around ‘serious.’ “The photo didn’t really help and if it comes out that you were hired, it just won’t be a good look. So you pretend to be my girl for six months, get me through the premiere, the holidays and award season. Then we can go our separate ways.”  

Raven could only stare at him blankly, shocked at the words coming out of his mouth. She thought this sort of thing only happened in tv shows and in the lines of spicy romance novels. But here, a rich man stood trying to “Pretty Woman” her.

What the fuck is my life right now??

At her continued silence, Michael added, “You wouldn’t need to see me every day or anything and I’d pay you your rate with Helen for every date. My stylist would get all your clothes and outfits for the events so you wouldn’t need to worry about that.” 

Admittedly, as a new girl, her rate was not as high as Tasha’s, she just got lucky taking a date from her. But even still, she knew that she would make a hefty chunk of change by the time the endeavor was over. Though she found the proposition insane, she would have been a fool not to ponder it. He promised a hell of a lot of money for six months of work. One major question trampled over all the other more logical and logistical ones, falling from her lips without a thought. 

“Why me?”

Michael had hoped she would not ask this question. He did not have a good answer. It would’ve been better, likely, to attach himself to an actual celebrity. But Raven was the more authentic choice. However, there was also the underlying reason he even suggested it in the first place and it had nothing to do with logic. 

“My team wants to spin the other night as the media infringed on a private moment between me and my girlfriend. It being you is the most plausible option in case someone got a photo of your face.” 

Raven studied him for a moment. “That's the only reason?” 

“Yea. What else would it be?” He offered, his tone short to avoid any further questioning on the matter. He could tell it did the trick, though it bothered him to see the hurt flash across her face. However, she recovered quickly. 

“Of course,” she muttered. “So what would it entail?” She gestured toward the chair at her desk for him to sit. 

Her room was incredibly neat for someone who spent the last week in bed. More books were neatly stacked in nooks and crannies across the space but her desk was immaculate. His eyes locked in on a poster above the desk, a Toni Morrison quote written across it. 

“If there’s a book that you want to read, but it hasn’t been written yet, then you must write it.” - Toni Morrison 

“Damn, how many books you got around here, girl?” 

She laughed, “Far too many to count. I have more… a whole collection back home at my dad’s. These are just the ones from my master’s and since I moved here.” 

“How many books you read in a year?” 

“I average about a book or two a week… some are shorter, some are longer.” 

“How do you find the time for that?” Michael was amazed. He had hobbies but he never had time to actually pursue them. 

“Reading is my job and my hobby,” she shrugged. “But you didn’t come all this way for that. So playing your girlfriend, what would it entail?” While she appreciated his interest in her hobbies and life, she did not want him to be interested in those things. Questions, trying to get to know her, implied something that she knew could not be there or be true. This was work and she did not need to add anymore fuel to the brewing idea that he cared for her beyond their business transactions.

“We just gotta appear like we’re dating. Dates when I'm in town, I go to an event or two a week but you probably ain’t gotta go to all of them. A couple instagram posts and shit like that to sell it.”

That did not sound terrible. She did not know if she wanted or was interested in the public scrutiny but even she could not deny that he was offering her a damn sweet deal. “Sex? Or would you continue to see Tasha?” 

“If you don’t want it to be, it doesn’t have to be. I wouldn’t see Tasha unless I can do it discreetly. But my manager would probably kill me. It would be easier on everyone if it was. Less opportunities for anyone to slip up. We had a good time, right? Besides, I still have a few things I wanted to do to you before our night got cut short.” He winked at her. 

Raven hated how cocky he was. He knew damn well she had the time of her life with him. But she refused to admit that she had been fiending for him like he was a highly-addictive drug since she last saw him. 

“I’d be amenable to that as long as no tables are involved.” 

“What if they’re bolted to the ground?” he teased. Though it ended poorly, he still thought about how that position felt, and could still hear her screams of ecstasy in his ears. They would most certainly be doing it again even if he had to bolt every table in his home to the floor himself. 

Her lips curled into the first genuine smile since he dropped her off three days prior at his joke. 

“I’d be open to that.” 

“So we have a deal?” 

She watched him, he seemed almost nervous. As if he was worried she would reject him, as if any woman with eyes and a brain had ever done that, she thought to herself. And even though every cell in her brain screamed that this was the worst idea possible and would end horribly, she could not find that reason enough to reject his proposal. Instead, she said, “Y-You know this is crazy right? These fake relationships and shit, people see right through them.” 

“Maybe, but it’s worth a try, right?”

“You know I thought this type of shit only happened in books… you’d rather pay me to pretend to love you than actually find a woman who does and build something real with her? I mean don’t you want a serious relationship and love and all that at some point?” 

He shook his head. “No, I don’t.” he answered shortly. “And even if I did, I ain’t got time to find it. Look, we both got immediate problems and this is an immediate solution. Besides a few months with me and you’ll make money… influencer shit, find another rich guy, whatever. But if you aren’t interested, all good. I’ll get outta your hair. I just thought we could help each other?”

Raven studied him for a moment before nodding. The reality was he was right. She had immediate problems that his money could solve. And regardless of what she thought of his choice to go down this path, it was a job and no different than what she did three nights prior. 

“We… have a deal. There are worse jobs, I suppose.” 

*** 

“No! Absolutely not. I’m not moving out of my place.” 

Michael scoffed, confused as to why Raven was insistent on fighting him on this specific point when he thought it was the most generous part of the deal. She had agreed to literally everything else with ease but the apartment was the first time he heard her pushback in the last hour. “You know most women in your position wouldn’t argue with a nigga tryin’ to give them a free spot for six months. Besides, I looked up the crime statistics in that neighborhood -” 

“You know you aren’t really disputing the stalker allegations at all, right?” She did not understand why he would even care where she lived. 

“Just doing my due diligence,” he offered lamely. “And it’s dangerous as fuck. Why you even live there? Someone like you ain’t built for those neighborhoods.” 

She sucked her teeth in annoyance. “It’s a true community, one of the last left in LA I imagine. Far more of a community than what you have with your neighbors in this high rise,” she gestured around him at his condo downtown where they were meeting, “Or in your mansion in the valley. It’s affordable and just because it doesn’t look the best or bad shit happens - which happens everywhere in LA - doesn’t mean it’s a bad neighborhood. I know every family on my block and almost every single one in the neighborhood. And everyone knows me and everyone helps each other out. Besides, it’s close to work.”

He let out a chuckle. “None of Helen’s clients live or would step foot in that neighborhood.” 

She rolled her eyes. “I have a day job… I work at the library a couple streets from my place.”

He raised an eyebrow. He supposed it was not that shocking even the mini library of books she had at her apartment. However, he had not stepped foot in a library since he was a kid. And none of the librarians in Newark looked like her. 

“Maybe I would’ve stayed in school longer if the librarians looked like you.” His voice was playful and teasing. “That can’t pay a lot?” 

“It's a public service so of course not. Hence my very cheap rent and moonlighting job as a prostitute.” She grabbed her glass of water from the coffee table and leaned back into the couch. “But it’s fun. And gives me a lot of time to read and write on my shifts when things are quiet. And I started some fun initiatives and stuff since I started last year. Anyway, the point is, I don’t need a new fancy apartment down here. I like my space. Why do you even care?"  

This part was harder than she thought, ironing out the logistics of their new arrangement. Michael had invited her to his spot downtown, a condo he stayed in when he had late nights in the city. She just figured they would be going with the flow of things. But here they were, debating how many events a week she would need to accompany him to and where she would stay. He kept offering her extravagant things that she quickly turned down. 

“I don't," he answered shortly. Or least, he knew he shouldn't. He tried to cover it up, but even he knew his cover stories were lame. "My manager just thought it would look more legit. But if you don't wanna move, fine. You should stay here a couple nights a week then. There's always cameras around here, they need to see you comin' and goin' like a girlfriend would. This can be where we stay after dates and shit. My team will fill the spare closet with new clothes.” 

“Fine. And new clothes? What’s wrong with my clothes?” 

He sighed. “There’s nothing wrong with your clothes as an everyday thing but you should look like your boyfriend is… well, me. And that means an… elevated take on your current style.” 

She rolled her eyes. “As long as I don’t have to change my whole style, fine. And look, everything you’re offering is nice but feels excessive. All I care about is keeping my life and reputation and stacking enough money to put myself in a better position.  If there’s an event you need me to come to or something you need me to do to sell it, just text me and I’ll do it. You’re paying me to do a job so I don’t really need anything else from you, whether it’s an apartment or a closet full of designer clothes. I’m not trying to milk this arrangement for all it’s worth or steal from you. You’re paying for my time on dates and for sex, that’s all I expect.”

Michael studied her for a moment. He was hoping she would have arrived at this meeting with demands and extravagant desires but she did not seem to care. She was willing to do everything he asked and wanted nothing but the money he promised in return. No extras, no frills, no anything. It was the exact opposite of what he expected from her. And he knew it should’ve made him happy. This would be the most straight-forward business deal he negotiated in years. However, something about it bothered him. He knew it shouldn't. He knew the words about to leave his mouth were dangerous. After all what business partner cared if the other person was short changing themselves when it benefited them? He knew he should not care but here he was… going against all the voices in his head that screamed that at him.

“Are you always this amenable? To everyone?” 

She wrinkled her nose. “I’m just not selfish. You act like it’s a bad thing?” 

“It is if you let people run all over you. Being amenable is why you paid some portion of $10k to bail someone out of jail when it was clear you didn’t have it.”

She cut her eyes, sending him a glare that was so unlike her, it was unnerving. “That is none of your business.” He had never heard such sharpness in her voice, quickly realizing he had struck a chord and not a good one.

“My bad,” he raised his hands in surrender. “I just… it isn’t selfish to demand what you want too, to ensure a situation favors you just as much as the other person. So if down the road, you realize there’s something you want out of this, aside from the money, just name it. Business transactions are not about just getting the bare minimum of what you need… you’re allowed to get the things you just want too.” 

Her heart somehow both inflated and sagged at his words. There he was again, seemingly caring about her beyond the parameters of their relationship. And she could not deny that she liked it, the idea that someone cared about what she wanted, not what she could do for them. But she did not let herself bask in it for too long. Because there was so much Raven wanted in this life, so much she wanted from Michael, but she knew she could not have any of those things and he could not give them to her. 

“Last thing, sex.” 

She stared at him, confused. “I thought we agreed that we were having it?” 

He laughed. “Yea we did. We can keep it to nights when you’re already working so it’s easier. And any other nights, I’ll pay you so don’t worry about that. But if we’re gonna keep doing what we did the other night, I’d like to make sure we have ground rules.” 

“Ground rules?” 

“Like what are your hard limits? Lines I shouldn’t cross?” 

“You spanked me and called me names… hardly need rules for that.” She waved her hand to dismiss him. “We’re good. Just do what you want.” 

Michael merely laughed and stood up. He continued chewing on the toothpick he had between his teeth while he stretched one hand out for her to take. 

“Come with me.”

He led her through the apartment, down the hall to the largest bedroom. She took the quick journey to study the apartment, shocked at how sterile it felt. It could’ve been an AirBnB, furnishings as generic as the ones she could pick up from Target. Though she knew his were far more expensive. She wondered what his other home looked like, this was clearly just a bachelor pad. But she had not spotted a single family photo or anything of note in the entire place. It was beautiful, just… cold. 

Michael turned on the light and led her to the middle of the room. He stood behind her and used his hand to move her kinks to the other side of her neck before resting his hands on her hips. 

“That bed has about six different ways for me to restrain you. The different configurations allow me to put you in any position I want and you can’t move. So much shit I can do with that.. My favorite thing is,” he lowered his voice and leaned in to whisper in her ear, not shocked at how her body stiffened slightly and her breathing skipped. “To tie your arms and legs to the bed and leave you there with a vibrator. See how long it takes you to beg me to cum. Most don’t last long.” 

“Have you ever heard of shibari?” 

She nodded. At his silence, she immediately corrected herself. 

“Y-Yes.” 

“Good girl. Ever tried it?” 

“No but I’d be open to it.” 

“I learned on my first trip to Japan, been studying ever since. Gotten pretty good at it.” A single finger traced intricate patterns across her skin as if he were envisioning exactly where those ropes would go on her skin. He had barely touched her and her panties were already soaked. “This ceiling fixture,” he gestured up to it above their heads. “Is rigged to hold 300 pounds. I can already imagine you suspended from there while I fuck you. You’d like that?” He stepped around to face her, smiling at the way her eyes darkened and her nipples pebbled beneath her thin shirt.  

“I-I think so,” she whispered. His fingers returned to her body, now lazily grazing the bare skin of her thighs, inching the fabric of her skirt higher and higher.

“That bench,” he jerked his head to the side, her eyes falling on a nondescript black cushioned bench at the foot of the bed. It was tall, taller than the average bench, which let her know it was not made for sitting. “Is the perfect height for me to spank you if you disobey me, which judging from the other night, I’m sure will be often. I already know you’d like that though, right?” 

His hand squeezed her ass as he leaned in and sucked on her neck. Her body fell forward and rested against his, giving into the tantalizing pleasure he was providing. She was embarrassed by the breathy moan she let out but could do nothing to stop it.

“I asked you a question,” he reminded her. 

However, Raven felt as if she no longer had a voice let alone coherent thoughts to offer him and answer his questions. She did not understand how he had this effect on her, how she was so willing to surrender to his every whim. But she was, everything he said ignited the most impure and wicked fantasies in her mind. She pictured his words and more so clearly, they might as well have been watching a porno. 

“Y-Yes, I w-would,” she offered through gritted teeth, desperate to hold onto some amount of decency. 

“And that chaise is perfect for any and every position I could ever want you in. And the mirror lets you watch yourself while I fuck you. Oh and I’m gettin’ a swing installed next week. Perfecting timing. And that chest over there,” her eyes went to the last thing of note in the room besides his other standard furniture. “Well, I’m waiting for everything to come in but by Friday, it’ll be filled with brand new floggers, nipple clamps, gags, vibrators, plugs, and a leash since you enjoyed crawling to me so much.” 

If it were possible, her face would have flushed with red at his words. 

“How do you know I enjoyed it?” She tried to sound defiant but she knew it was weak. 

He smirked. “Cause if I told you to drop to your knees and follow me around this apartment for hours, I’d bet my life you’d do it without a second thought.” 

She was thankful he did not phrase it as a question so she was not forced to answer him. The truth was, she would. She would do anything he told her. 

“So, I have a lot more than some colorful names and a spanking in mind if sex is part of this arrangement. This really ain’t the thing you want to be amenable to without thought. Tell me what you want and don’t want. Because when we step in here, I expect you to surrender. And that requires trust that I know your limits and won’t cross them.” 

He took a step back from her, his body reeling from how badly he wanted to fuck her. And how badly she clearly wanted him to. But as badly as he wanted her, he vowed that he would only see their time together as a transaction. They went on a date and had sex, he paid her. And that meant, he could not give into his every sexual whim or thought. Otherwise, he would be fucking her every day and they’d never leave this room. And there was no way he’d survive the six months like that.  

“You also don’t have to tell me today, either. Just think about it.”

She nodded, she really did not want to think about it. Not because he was wrong but because she did not want to think or admit all the things she desperately wanted him to do to her. 

Her phone buzzing pulled her out of the trance he had her in. Thank God, she thought to herself as she read the alarm on her phone. “Oh shoot, I better head home. I… host a book club on Wednesday evenings at the library.” 

“I’ll walk you out.” 

Raven was thankful to escape his bedroom, it was a danger zone for her and her thoughts. 

“So um… you have my number w-when you’re ready for a date. J-just give me advanced notice, if you can? You know if I need to adjust my work hours or something.” 

“How about Saturday evening? My team released the statement this morning and it's getting good play apparently so it’ll be good for us to post a picture or be seen out and about this weekend. We can start small with dinner, ease you into the spotlight.” 

“Sounds good. Just text me what I need to wear.”

“Don’t worry about that. They’ll pull an outfit and send it over to you.” 

“You sure? You really don’t have to,” she started to say before he cut her off. 

“It’s easier cause they’ll coordinate the look and make sure it looks good for photos. Don’t worry about it.” 

She made her way to the private elevator and hit the lobby button. 

Michael reached in and hit the P button. “Elevator will take you straight to the car, driver will meet you in the garage.”  

“Have him meet me out front. You said there’s always a paparazzi or two lurking around. Maybe they’ll catch me leaving?”

He raised an eyebrow, impressed. “You sure this is your first fake relationship? Already acting like a pro.” 

She laughed and shook her head. “No, I just want to make sure you get all the bang for your buck. I like to excel at every job I have… would hate for you to leave me a bad review with the fake girlfriend's business bureau.”

“Don’t see that happenin’ at all.”  

She thought the smolder was merely something actors did in movies. But here he was, smoldering and it made her want to rip her clothes off in the middle of his elevator and demand he fuck her. But she couldn’t. Self control. This was a transaction and she could not give into her desires outside the realm of payment. That would be dangerous. 

She cleared her throat, forcing her feet to take a step back into the elevator. “Ok, see you Saturday,” she offered awkwardly. 

However, before the doors fully closed, she stopped them. 

“Tying up is fine, just want a nonverbal cue if you’re gonna gag me and I can’t speak. I like pain but my pain tolerance isn’t that high so there’s a limit on what I can take. So if you’re like a sadist or something, we can go ahead and dead this. Oh and no bodily fluids aside from the ones that are naturally involved in sex, don’t make me explain what I mean… the stories I’ve heard,” she shuddered, causing Michael to laugh. “No hitting except spanking, of course. Choking is fine. And no threesomes or other people. Oh and I’m fine with no condoms, if we’re exclusive and you get tested for STIs and bring the results with you on Saturday. I will get one too. Oh and make sure the collar is padded or lined with something for my neck,” she clarified. “That’s all I can think of. I am willing to try anything else once and I’ll use the safe word if I don’t like it. How do those rules sound to you?” 

“That’s it?” Her list was perfect, aligned to his own personal limits fairly well. He would’ve expected more for someone so green. 

Raven seemed to pick up on his shock causing her to laugh. “I know the vibe I give off,” she admitted. “And I am all those things… innocent and straight laced. But you aren’t the only one with fantasies. You told me to get what I needed and I wanted. … I need the money and I want an escape from my reality, total surrender and escape with someone I trust to explore those fantasies with. And right now, that’s you.” 

He did a small double take at her words. “You trust me already? You don’t even know me.” 

She shrugged, for some reason, she felt as if that was not true. On some level, she did know him. Or at least, a piece of him. And that felt like enough… at least for now. 

 “I think I know enough. See you Saturday,” she smiled with a small wave, the elevator doors finally closing to take her to the lobby. 

Michael stood there in his living room, slightly dumbfounded. 

“This girl…” he whispered. He was already cursing himself for this ill conceived plan. He knew, at that very moment, he did not have the willpower to keep his feelings at bay for six months. The only question now was, how long would he last?    

Tag List: @readinghere2023 @blackerthings @prettyisasprettydoes1306 @physicxal @purplehairgawdess @miyuhpapayuh @rueruesclues @geemamii @certifiedlesbianbaddie @pipsqueak-98 @nyifly22 @twocentaur @gopaperless @musicisme333 @roguekiki @majesticbrownjawn @taurusqueen83

***

A/N: So we are in the thick of ittttttt. The babes are pining and entering in a fake relationship…. what could go wrong LOL the smut returns next chapter, promise! And we get their first real date.

Drop a comment and let me know what you think or if you want to be tagged! Thanks for reading!

[mersei47]

I saw people putting in marble hornets coded songs and this has been stuck in my head forever, "Digital silence" by Peter Mcpoland

Anyways, time to be ranty about this song and how it relates to Marble Hornets in my opinion!

The opening line is "I won't ask a question I'll state the truth" which represents Jay uploading these video logs and making theories. The next line following is "With everything I know and I all do" Jay getting the tapes and going to extreme measures to figure out what happened during filming (Like stalking Tim)

"This is the way that it is, this is the that it always will be" What happened in Marble Hornets couldn't have been changed. The operator was always destined to be at the filming locations, resulting in the deaths

"Something you love turns to something you miss" To me this represents Alex losing Amy and in turn losing his college buddies, but it could always represent Tim losing Jay and Brian

"Something you say turns to something you mean" Alex could've made little jokes to Jay before filming like "I'm gonna kill you" which then turned into reality.

"This is the way that I know, This is the way and it makes me sick, I feel it inside me like a pulse, It's starting to slow and the meter dips" Jay finding out the Truth and also the slender sickness thing, also the progression of him losing his sanity

"Why don't you get it? Can't you get it? Understand, They're gonna execute the mother to elevate the man" The burning of the tapes(s) as they were one of the only source to figure out what actually happened

Skipping an entire line cause idk what it means

"They're gonna blind date everyone until you love them too" (x4) The manipulation of the Operator? He was trying to control Hoody and Masky I believe so it could make sense (Also that one scene where Jay is forcefully bowing to the operator)

Repeated lyrics that I already explained so now were getting into the GOOD STUFF!!

"Digital style, digital hate Digital god, digital pain Digital violence, digital world Digital boy meets digital girl Digital silence, digital yell Digital heaven, digital hell Digital start, digital end Digital birth, digital death" Digital style represents how Jay thought it could've been Alex taking out footage. Digital hate represents how Alex grew resentful towards Brian, Tim and Jay due to The Operator's influence. Digital violence is pretty self explanatory. Digital world could represent how The Operator just sees the world as one big game to play. Digital heaven is definitely the relief the pills give digital hell could represent the torment Alex put Tim through near the end of the series. Digital start is the start of filming, digital end is entry #86

Digital birth and death represent the start and end of Jay as the main leader in the video logs

"This is the answer to the question, This is the sound of the truth, This is the answer to the question, There is nothing you can do" To me it reminds me of Skully telling Jessica how she has to stop the operator

Repeated lyrics I already covered and the end of the song!

Now in the actual song, at the end there is glitching, which to me, represents that the operator is an unstoppable force and how he's torment will spread every (Emh and stuff)

Anyways, happy belated Jay get shot! (I'm giving mat pat a run for his money)

damn this is one of the most detailed explaination I have ever seen. Someone could even use this to make animatic about it. this is so great

[kiwiana-writes]

4, 6, 9 and 19- or any combination of those if that's too much!

4. Do you write original stories as well?

2024 is the year of the original novel, baby! I may have done more, like, setting up a website/Substack/Airtable writing tracker/etc than actual writing at the moment, but in my defence I'm still wrapping up my freelancing obligations this month lmao

6. What is a fandom you will never write for?

You know, it's hard to say 'never' because... I never know what's going to grip me. I never would have predicted that I'd write a fic for the TV adaption of The Last of Us, or that I'd walk out of the theatre after going to see a queer Christmas movie and rage-write an alternate ending in three hours.

So I'll take a slightly different approach to this question and instead say a fandom I'll never write for again, and that's HP. I respect the hell out of the authors who have gone full death of the author about it and reclaimed the world they love to make it better, I really fucking do. But I pulled my HP fics down from AO3 when I realised that seeing the author's name on my fandoms list, on my profile, was just... really fucking with my little trans non binary head.

9. What are your favorite fanfics?

This question is cruel. CRUEL. I have never picked a favourite anything in my life. Here's a few things I'm vibing with RIGHT NOW, but the answer may change in a month or a week or an hour lol.

Going Platinum by @cricketnationrise - always, but especially now as cricket works through the sequel. I feel very taken care of by this fic and have reread it a truly embarrassing number of times.

I really hope I can get him alone by @clottedcreamfudge - the Henry POV of Kinda think that I might be his type aka Alex and Bea fake date. I am just. iu4oqhurfriehngfuqernugoenuogre.

In His Wildest Dreams by @myheartalivewrites - I bang on about Oxford Days by this author a lot (and for good reason) but FUCK this one is beautiful. I am forever a sucker for the psychology of kink.

Noble Blood by @orchidscript - currently a WIP, somewhat based on The King's Assassin by Benjamin Wooley which is the book Mary & George is based on. And like... here's the thing. I picked up pretty quickly coming into this fandom that The Thing Orchid Is Known For is researching the absolute living fuck out of her fics, and like... I respect it, but I also didn't really think about it much, because while deep-dive knowledge is fun, as long as something's plausible enough that it doesn't pull me out of the story I'm along for the ride, you know? But this fic. THIS FIC is based in a time period I am very familiar with (my focus was always Tudor England, but you don't study that time period without picking up a lot of knowledge of the decades either side of it) and like... I get it now. Reading a historical fic where you know so much about the time period, and seeing all these tiny little details sprinkled throughout that, like, aren't actually required for the plot but are just weaving the tapestry of the world... fuck me, it's an entire different experience.

Something Borrowed, Something Blue by @anincompletelist - currently a WIP, I believe it's due to be completely posted by the end of January? But y'all it's so fucking engaging and I am loving the journey so much.

When I Met You (I Could Not Speak) by @sparklepocalypse - forever on my fairytale bullshit as y'all know and this one is EXCELLENT.

You love me! You love me? by anarchyat4am - god. GOD. I don't even know what to say about this one other than PLEASE READ IT. Trans Alex and one of my favourite tropes, quietly falling into a relationship.

19. Dead or overused tropes?

I am an extremely firm believer that there is in fact no such thing. People are forever coming up with new twists on tropes, and even fics that play tropes totally straight are infused with the author's voice or experience or whatever. If I didn't want to enjoy the comfort of the familiar, I would probably not be engaging with fic in the first place 🤣

[Ask game for fanfic writers]

[dreamed-for-not]

Hazbin Hotel theory under the cut, feel free to ignore.

So we know Viv said one of the “main 6” is going to die, and I want to talk about who I think it is and isn’t going to be and why. Also where I think the next season is going.

Charlie - No. She’s our main character and the whole plot revolves around her. In episode 1 they also said that hell born were immune to the extermination because Lucifer rigged it that way. I do think Adam/Lute would ignore that clause because they hate Charlie so much, but again, main character.

Vaggie - Probably not. We just learned that she’s an angel, which theoretically makes her exempt for extermination as well. I would also assume, though we have no outright proof from the show itself, that angels can’t be killed by other angels. The only reason I could see it being her is that she sacrifices herself for Charlie, but it feels unlikely to me.

Alastor - No. He’s the most well known character from the show, even when I had no interest in Hazbin Hotel I still knew him on sight. It would be really stupid to kill him off so early in the show when we’ve barely explored his story and he hasn’t gone through any kind of arc yet. Also his beef with Vox has been pretty built up and I doubt it’s going to be resolved in the next 2 episodes. There’s also the question of who has him on a leash and that he’s been gone for 7 years, just like Lilith.

Angel - Probably not. Another well known and liked character, with 2 massive songs in episode 4. We haven’t seen him escape Val and heal from that yet. It would really cut the effectiveness of the Vs getting taken out in the plot. He was also the one used as the example in heaven, showing that sinners can change.

Husker - Maybe. Personally, I’m going to be big fucking mad if it is Husker, but I could see it being possible. He’s not as integral to the plot as everyone above, and mostly serves as a lackey for Alastor. I’m just a HuskerDuster shipper now and I want these 2 to be happy OKAY????

The sixth position is what’s really up for debate here, because we have 2 possible options. it could either be Nifty or Sir Pentious, I’m going to give my reasoning for both.

Nifty - Possibly. Nifty doesn’t have a ton of plot relevance, even if I think she’s fun. I put here on the same level as the cat or Razzle and Dazzle almost, background fluff to make the world seem more alive. I’ve seen people saying that Nifty is a physical manifestation of the hotel, in which case it might make sense for it to be her and the loss of their home base in the next extermination. It gives the right amount of upping the stakes for season 2.

Sir Pentious - Most Likely. I like Sir P, he’s goofy and ya know, voiced by My Boy but I think he’s the most likely to die. He’s only at the hotel because he was blackmailed into going in the first place and if he left would be killed by the Vs. He’s just hanging around, not doing much but is very prominently featured in the promo art and generally heavily advertised, but has not so far had a Major Song. The only thing we got from him is Starts With Sorry which is my lowest ranked song so far.

But there’s a whole separate reason I think it’s gong to be the Snake Boy. Alex Brightman voices both him and Adam and I think Adam is about to fall/get betrayed by heaven.

Hear me out on this one. Adam isn’t an angel, he’s described as “the first human soul in heaven” and people are categorized into either “sinners” (hell) or “winners” (heaven) when they die. But does he look like any of the other winners we saw? With his dark color palette, sharp teeth and horns? Not one bit, he looks more like the demons he hates so much. The only other characters of heaven origin that look like him are Lute, Vaggie and presumably other exterminators. Which were very possibly created to look a lot like him, if the fact that he named Vaggie is anything to go off of.

In the court scenes we find out that Adam came up with the whole extermination plan and it is not known throughout heaven that it happens at all. But Adam has now let that cat out of the bag and the others didn’t seem to be happy with the whole situation. I think the other angels are going to go to Sara and make her put an end to extermination, and Sara is going to banish Adam (and possibly Lute) to hell for everything they’ve done.

This goes into my season 2 and later predictions, where Adam and Charlie team up to take down heaven and equalize the system for everyone. Adam is a vindictive douche and would do anything to get payback, and though he hates Charlie will be happy to use her for his own ends. And I think there’d be a lot of comedic gold in having Charlie, Vaggie, Adam and Lute stuck together. And that’s not even talking about Adam and Lilith being forced neck into the same room together when she gets back into the picture.

After this I think there’s several places it could go, like a double backstab on Adam’s part by using the uprising he helped to create as proof that he was right all along and the exterminations were necessary. Or possibly them winning and breaking the cycle for all. I think the second option would tie into the themes of determination, forgiveness, redemption and found family that the show appears to be aiming for.

But that’s all up to Viv and Amazon.

Tagging @love-is-all-you-need-13 because they’re the ones who encouraged me to share. Thank you!

[daintyduck99]

"is he cute? i bet he's cute let me see-" for Reggie and Alex, any pairing

It takes everything in Alex not to react when his phone dings.

Reggie notices, anyway, stopping in the middle of his ramble and pushing his plate of waffles away. He leans across the table.

"What was that?"

"Nothing," Alex says airily. Too airily, if the way his voice and Reggie's eyebrows climb are any indication.

"That's not nothing. You almost always have your notifications muted."

Alex slides back further into the booth, cradling his phone protectively as Reggie inches closer. He stabs his stack of pancakes and stuffs a bite of strawberry into his mouth in lieu of responding.

"Come on, 'Lex, tell me! Is it a guy?"

He chews slowly. "...I let important notifications through. That's not unusual, okay? This project makes up a lot of our grade—"

"I knew it!" Reggie crows, earning him a dirty look from a waitress. Not that he notices. "Our means that you care about their grade, and you care about them. It is a guy, isn't it? A really cool one that you can't stop thinking about."

Alex sighs. Reggie knows him too well.

"It might be…a guy. There's no point in voicing any sort of hopes about him because they're only bound to get crushed, which is why I didn't tell you. We're strictly project partners, Reg."

"What makes you think that?" Reggie asks, frowning. "You're awesome, Alex. Is he already dating someone or something?"

Alex pushes a few more strawberries listlessly around his plate.

"I think so? I mean, he's always going on about the guys at some club. It sounds like he has the time of his life there, with them, and I know you think I'm awesome, Reggie, but I'm not that…I don't know, wild? How could I ever keep up?"

Reggie’s face does that thing where it soothes out, except for his mouth, which scrunches into a little o. He brightens as he snaps out of it, eyes lighting on Alex's.

"But you don't know that they're together, right? Maybe they're just good friends! That's why Luke and Julie didn't ask me out for ages, remember? They'd assumed that you were my boyfriend."

"That's…true," Alex admits, smiling faintly in spite of himself as Reggie beams. "Okay, yeah, maybe I shouldn't be so quick to assume. The way I feel about this guy…it's just scary. I barely know him, Reg, but I like him so much. It’s going to hurt like hell if he rejects me."

Reggie takes his hand, netting them another glare from a different waitress. Alex glares back until she looks away. Reggie, meanwhile, has remained blissfully unaware, intently focused on Alex.

"I'll be there for you no matter what, buddy, but you shouldn't quit before you've even played the game. Alright? At least own your awesomeness for once! If this guy doesn't see it, someone will. Sometimes you've just gotta put yourself out there."

Alex swallows. He squeezes Reggie’s hand.

"Thanks, Reg. But also…if he says no, won't that make our whole project…awkward?"

Reggie shrugs. "That's college for you. Aren't most of the group projects shitty?"

He has to concede that point as well. He's more or less worn down, and he promises to at least think about asking him out.

Reggie almost lets it go after that, but when Alex's phone dings again, he gets a mischievous glint in his eye.

"You know, there's still so much you haven't told me about this guy. I know your type, but like, what's his name? What does he do? Is he cute?"

"His name is Willie. He's doing something with art, theater is his minor. And like, objectively speaking, he's…well…"

Reggie smirks. "'Lex, it's a simple question. Is he cute? Just say so."

Alex stammers as a hot flush sweeps over his skin. He can't help it; Willie's hard to describe. Or maybe he's so fucking attractive that it melts Alex's brain.

"I bet he's cute, let me see—"

Reggie lunges for Alex's phone, crowing again as he manages to pry it from his hand. He unlocks it and whistles.

"Damn Alex, forget cute. This guy is smoking hot."

He shows Alex the Whatsapp profile picture as if it's not burned into his brain.

Willie's grinning in it, long dark hair whipping in the wind as he balances on a skateboard on what looks like a precarious rail. Those jeans definitely do nothing to hide how…muscular his legs are, especially with the…artfully placed rips. The white hoodie softens it all somehow, but it only screams that he's also cuddly, which makes him even more attractive.

It's absolutely maddening.

And it pales in comparison to the real thing. Willie is possibly the most vivacious person Alex has ever met.

"Yeah," Alex manages to croak. "He is."

Reggie flips his phone back around with a little hum before Alex can protest.

"Alex! He's flirting with you!"

"Okay, but that doesn't have to mean—"

"Alex."

He throws his hands up, and thankfully not out, or he would've hit a waiter. They really need to leave before they get banned from the best diner near campus.

"Some people are just flirtatious! You flirt with me all of the time!"

Reggie just gives him a sunny grin and a wink. "There's a difference between flirting for fun and flirting with intent, babe. If he's not doing the latter, I'll eat my boot."

"You might have to, anyway," Alex mutters, huffing at Reggie’s oblivious little what.

They don't get banned, if only because Alex pays and drags him out at what Luke calls his runway speed, so there's that.

But if his anxiety is totally off about the other things…well, he's not exactly mad about it, although he does have to laugh when Willie asks to meet him at the diner for one of their first dates.

[daffodilsonaprettystring]

Personally here’s what I think each of the soundtracks will be for in the RWARB movie:

1. If I Loved You by Vagabon- I made a post about this here

2. Buckingham Palace- obviously the royal wedding

3. Anxious Alex- no idea maybe him being really nervous about the whole Cakegate thing? Maybe him on his way to England for damage control?

4. Press Day- Cakegate damage control obviously

5. Soft Side- Alex seeing Henry talk to the little girl Claudette or maybe them in the closet finally talking

6. Later Your Majesty- Lol Alex saying goodbye to Henry after damage control MAKING HIS PEACE SIGN BISEXUAL POSE AS HE SHOUKD

7. Text Bants- I had to Google what bants meant lol but duh this is them texting (read: flirting) after the whole damage control thingy when they’re finally becoming freinds ❤️❤️

8. First Kiss- this one speaks for itself but NEW YEARSSSS

9. Red Room- also speaks for itself lmao but OMGGGGGG RED ROOOOOOOOM I’m dying to know who had to go to the White House to take notes for the set build hehehehehheh

10. Or Else I’ll Vanish- I’m so curious about this one because I have no idea?? But I can say it sounds dramatic as hell so I’m looking forward to seeing what it goes to

11. In Good Hands- also no idea but also very curious.

12. Pillow Talk- self explanatory but maaaaye that shot from the trailer where they’re in bed lookin at eachother with those heart eyes?

13. Twenty-Seven- one of their birthdays probably considering they’ve both been aged up for the movie which honestly I’m not mad about anymore especially when you think about Ellen asking Alex the “do u feel forever about him” question because WOW that’s gonna hit a lot harder for 27 year old Alex than 22 year old Alex

14. Texas- see I would think this was the lake house except it comes before the tracks that I think will be the lake house. So maybe Alex campaigning in Texas or just thinking about it?

15. I’m Coming In- I bet you 100$ this is Zahra busting in and finding Henry HEHEHEHHEHH

16. Dear Henry- EMAILSSSSS

17. Lost In A Moment- not sure, BUT I’m thinking it might be that scene where Henry and Alex are sitting at a fire and “Alex. Well, Alex is so in love he could die.”

18. Dive Deep- lake house😭😭 Henry running awayyyy

19. Tell Me To Leave- we all know what this is about but god if this doesn’t make me CRY knowing we actually get that line

20. Museum- come on we all know this one but like specifically I hope this isn’t what they dance to cuz they MUST dance to Your Song❤️❤️

21. Runway Goodbyes- HENRY GIVING ALEX HIS RING❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

22. Leaked Emails- I hate this one I skip we all know it anyway

23. No Turning Back- Henry and Alex coming clean and telling the truth to the king/the world

24. Election Night- obviously it’s Election Night lmao

25. Open hearted Fearless and Alive- right after Ellen wins the election, I bet any speech she gives will have these words in it. And it will probably pan to Alex and Henry. Calling it now. Because I would love to see that

26. We Won- they won the election AND Alex and Henry won to be together❤️❤️❤️ specifically tho I wonder if this will be Alex and Henry going back to Alex’s house because I know Alex says this right outside the door as the book ends

27. Fruit (Red, White and Royal Blue Version) by Oliver Sim- credit song maybe?

[cyncerity]

Okay, okay- random question, but. What are some theories you have expected for season 2 of Hazbin Hotel?

THIS POST CONTAINS HAZBIN S1 SPOILERS SO SCROLL IF YOU HAVENT FINISHED IT YET

ok ok so first thank you for asking a furlong my hazbin hyperfixation

second: i don’t know if i have any real theories?? I was kinda on a roll with them in S1, i’ve whole heartedly believed Vaggie was an angel since the pilot and when my friend and I sat down to watch the last two episodes i told her “if anyone is gonna die it’ll be Sir Pentious cause he’s kinda completed his arc (destroying the hotel -> protecting it) plus if they kill him they don’t have to get rid of a voice actor cause Alex Brightman also voices Adam.”

At first I and my friend were very upset that I was right, but then they killed Adam and I didn’t believe it. Like, c’mon, Vivzie is obviously friends with Alex enough to have him in both of her Hellaverse shows and to follow all of his broadway shows on Insta (found that out while looking for the character’s insta handles). But then they redeemed Sir Pentious (whoever first called him “Repentious” i love you) and i was like “oh yeah ok that makes sense.” I was also banking on Angel getting redeemed, but it makes sense for that to happen way later given that he’s a more prominent character.

Anyway S2 predictions:

Firstly, i think Pentious is gone have a bigger role. I personally base a lot of my headcanons on irl things, and Vivzie loves Alex too much to let him sit on the sidelines. I mean, cmon, Pentious, Adam, and Fizzarolli combined sing (or at least sing in) 8 songs. The only character that compares to that is Charlie, who also has 8, but she’s the main character. Fizz sings more than anyone else in Helluva (he’s 5 of those 8 songs) and he’s definitely not a main character. So yeah, more Pentious. And i honestly want that so much cause his thing with Cherri was cute for the two episodes it existed and i love naga designs and autism coded characters so he’s always been one of my faves.

As for Cherri, she’s probably my second fav from the pilot, so seeing her sing with everyone else at the finale was awesome. I want to see more of her so bad and i love her Aussie accent a lot. Unfortunately, i predict that she’s not going to care that much over Pentious. Maybe Pentious is gonna be freaking out in heaven over her, but besides her one “that’s hot” line, she definitely could tell he liked her but never cared. i don’t think we’ll get much of her in hell going “oh i miss Pentious so much i should’ve given him a chance.” That ship was written purely so they could have that kissing with the explosion in the background shot and you know what? I’m ok with that, it was cute and funny, it gave us a great shot, and that’s all it needed to be.

Also it gave me one of my fav moments in the finale that no one else seems to care about, which is Angel seeing how pathetic Pentious is and trying to wingman for him. Honestly to me it never really felt like Pentious made super great friends with anyone at the hotel. I get that they didn’t need to all be super close, the fact that they were all just speaking without animosity to him was enough given that he never had friends, but seeing that group pick with him on Angel’s door just didn’t do anything. I just figured they decided to imply that Angel and Pentious were friends off screen, and i was kinda just like “ok that sucks but whatever.” Then there was the “two dicks” scene and anything I doubted about their friendship went out the window. Cause yeah, Angel isn’t a super flashy “let’s hang out and talk a bunch and blah blah blah” kinda friend, he shows his friendship by having someone else’s back. He shows his friendship through actions; staying at the hotel when Vaggie says they should leave, fighting with Husk outside the bar and with Cherri in the pilot, playing along in Charlie’s drug skit with Pentious (Charlie was fucked for that, by the way), keeping Nifty safe from Valentino. Angel shows, he doesn’t tell. The fact that he went up to his bestie and, without Pentious asking him to or even knowing he was doing it, starting trying to convince her to give it a shot. Angel knows Cherri better than Pentious does, he knows what to say to get her interested. This is one of the outright nicest things Angel does for anyone in the series, and it made me believe in his and Pentious’s friendship instantly.

Anyway, sorry for that rant, i just love that scene a lot. Now, next prediction: the V’s are the next big bads. Or at least, the co-big bads. I think near the beginning of the season, they’ll be the no. 1 issue and by the end the show will have forgotten them again in favor of Lute and whatever’s going on with Lilith. Idk if Lilith will be a bad guy, i don’t wanna place bets on that yet (I really hope she isn’t tho, it’d be so cliche and we already have enough bad guys). Unless the shows pacing is as bad as it was this season, then the V’s will be important for like 1 or 2 episodes then disappear. Idk if they’ll cover Alastor’s deal here more, and how it probably almost definitely connects to Lilith, but there’s already 100 people posting in depth theories on them and i don’t really care so it’s not my place. I’m here for the Aroace rep and to watch Alastor be silly.

Another! this isn’t really a prediction, just something i want to happen but logically i know it won’t: I want Sir Pentious and Molly to meet, if only for a second. Even if it’s just a gag of Pentious seeing her and pausing for a few moments as to why she looks so familiar, I want someone to acknowledge Molly being in heaven. Even better, have Emily notice Molly. Have Emily notice that one of Heaven’s denizens looks like the demon she saw on trial, leading Emily to question Molly leading to the reveal that they’re twins, and Molly explaining that Angel, or Anthony, doesn’t deserve hell and is a good person. I need this.

Lastly, i want more Rosie (she won me over with the “Ace in the Hole” joke immediately), and Lucifer, but maybe Arackness (Angel’s brother, i can’t spell) and definitely Baxter. We saw them for like one shot in the finale, so Viv hasn’t forgotten about them. We know Viv had plans for Baxter at least and I love his design, I want more of him. With Pentious out of hell, we need a new deranged scientist. Maybe he can also be voiced by Alex Brightman.

anyway that’s about it, i have a lot of thoughts about this show and only a few theories, so thank you for reading!!

[chryso0]

What do you think about Asami Sr. ? I feel like he doesn't care about his kids at all.

I’ve been just dying to answer this question!

the new chapter is set to come out and it's supposed to be the final chapter in the Innocent Eyes arch, and as per Finder’s past, it is common for sensei to introduce what the next arch is going to be or at least some kind of lead up to what it will be about in that final chapter. So we may find out soon the answer to this question. Cause part of me is thinking, after this explosion, Papa Asami could make his entrance and becomes the star of the next arch.

So far Papa Asami has only been vaguely kinda talked about, by Asami, Maxin, and Simon. Given too that the last chapter ended with Asami giving Simon some kind of code relating to that organization, that supposedly would give Simon some “in” within that said organization makes me think we will be learning more about them soon enough. Plus the way that sensei has been dancing around directly talking about the subject of Asami’s father and whatever organization he works for, makes me think that she’s planned all along to introduce him and is setting the stage for his entrance. Hell the fact she even introduced Asami’s brother Maxim, makes me think that she’s been setting up this “Family reunion” type arch for some time.

As for what Papa Asami’s personality might be, I think without a doubt he is a dick 🤭

I know not many people have read the Finder lite novel, No Souen, which is about Asami’s teenage years and how he meet Kuroda. But that story gives us some insight into what Asami’s life was like at the time and who was raising him. However, his family is only mentioned in passing and we only get little hints and details about them. I’ve read some fan translations, but to give the gist of that story—-

At the time of the novel Asami is staying at his mother's in Japan and going to high school (or rather he skips high school every day 🤭). Asami admits that his goal all along, and his reason for being in Japan was more experimental, he wanted to try to experience living a “normal life”. But due to the event in No Souen, it failed. The whole time, Papa Asami is nipping at his heels trying to get Asami to leave Japan and return to his side, though we never met Papa Asami, he sends a group of men to talk to young Asami and they ask him to return which Asami politely tells them to fuck off. Later in the story, Asami is forced into a dangerous situation and he ends up killing a few gangsters. Because he is only a teenager he is forced to get his father's help in cleaning up the mess he made. As payment, he must return to his father and he leaves Japan and Kuroda doesn't see him again for many years.

Just from that little summary, I think we can see how shitty Asami’s upbringing must have been. Being a teenager and never experiencing “normalcy”. Already at that ripe age, and he’s a trained killer. His father basically resorts to blackmailing his own son - all so Asami can be a child soldier again for him.

Tho thats how No Souen ends, but in the canon we see that brief memory of Asami at 18 presumably about a year after the events in No Soeun, with Alex in their mercenary group. So that to me seemed to confirm that same timeline, that Papa Asami sends his children off to war zones as some form of training.

But i think Maxim’s backstory too is the real like nail in the coffin for Papa Asami being a dick.

When we see Maxim’s flashbacks, when he was a commander in that same mercenary group he is also going through this same “training”. But he is at least shown as earnestly trying to win his father's approval. Asami on the other hand seems to be the rebel in the family and I think has shown multiple times that he does not seek his father's approval, nor does he care about the family business and he turns his back on it multiple times. In No Souen he wanted nothing to do with it and is only forced back. But he seemed to have left the moment he could and never returned to his father.

Maxim, on the other hand, is shown as doing EVERYTHING his father wishes. He went into the mercenary group and became a feared captain, he is shown doing his father's bidding. (“go fetch Asami from the hospital!!”) Yet in a way he is treated like an errand dog - after all that work he put in. He does not appear to be a higher-up in his father's organization, all we see him doing at his house is hanging around with his cats! tho he sometimes wines and dines business partners and things like that. But he is essentially living lesiurely doing nothing truly important to the organization.

He’s even been kidnapped? And who is here to rescue him? Not his father? Not this mysterious organization that he gave up his entire life for?? It’s his punk younger brother who’s going after his kidnapper.

And what really stings for me too, even tho I don't particularly like Maxim. Is that Maxim was also basically asked to force Asami to rejoin the family business. When Asami was injured and in his care, Maxim would pressure him into joining. Then there was also that whole thing with the contract which we don't fully know the contents of, which Maxim was forcing Asami to sign in exchange for the antidote for Akihito. That contract must be something relating to the family business- if it is not outright forcing him to rejoin.

Despite all that Asami has done to prove he wants nothing to do with any of them - Papa Asami keeps asking for him. And you know Papa Asami isn’t gonna be asking Asami to join just so he can send Asami to do nonsense errand work?? for me thats what makes Maxim so sad. Is that Asami is still the favored child, (the heir perhaps) no matter what he does. And we see that not only in the way Papa Asami keeps insisting that Asami join up again. But also - because the code Asami gave Simon still worked. Which even shocked Asami. Papa Asami just kept that line open for Asami because he seems to desperately want him back in the circle.

No matter what Maxim has done to prove loyalty and usefullness, he is still passed over and treated like he doesnt even exist. Because to a man like Papa Asami, his kids are only important if they are or can be useful to him.

But honestly despite that I really hope we get to met him soon. Because even tho he is probs a dick. I dont know?? Arent they all techinically terrible monsters?? I wont try to redeem him, but this is a series about the criminal underworld. A lot of the characters we meet along the way we learn are morale grey. He may have his reasons, thou they could be weak. But I dont see it as that unreasonable for him to want his children to be the strongest - especially in the business they are in.

Plus he is gonna be hella fun to intoduce - i mean he’s got to be a hotty! probs totally evil and will try to break up our boys but i think he will have all the makings of being the best villian 😈 — if he ever shows his face.

[jule1122]

Malex Fic - Thanks that was fun

I decided to try the 2023 Year of the OTP Event and of course I am late on the first month.  In my defense this is the longest Malex fic I’ve written.  For January, I choose the mission fic prompt. 

This is canon divergent fic that takes place at the same time as S1. Alex and Michael were never together in high school.  Michael didn't take the blame for the murders so while the cover up still happened, Isobel believes she killed Rosa, Kate and Jasmine.  She isn't married to Noah and is just starting to date him.  There are reference to canon genocide and past Miluca (although it happens before Malex in this universe).

The mission is a honeypot mission where Michael is sent in to find out what Alex knows about his father.  Guess who falls in love?

Title is from the Barenaked Ladies song of the same name.

Thanks that was fun on AO3

“Alex Manes is back in town,” Isobel corners Michael between the bathrooms at the Wild Pony.

“I know,” he replies with a roll of his eyes.  “It was kind of hard to miss with the whole parade and all.”

“I found out he’s looking for someone to do some maintenance around his house, and you need to get the job.”

“Why? I’m not that hard up for cash.”  He kind of is, but he doesn’t want to admit that to Isobel.  Also, seeing Alex for the first time since graduation brought back memories of the crush he’d had on him in high school.  He tried flirting a few times back then, but Alex never responded.  When Alex enlisted the spring before graduation, Michael had backed off.  Then everything happened with Isobel, and staging an accident to cover up the murders and helping Isobel deal with what she had done had driven any thoughts of Alex right out of his head.  It wasn’t a time he wanted to remember.

“Look, we all know his father’s up to something,” Isobel reminds him.

Michael nods because Jesse Manes is suspicious as hell-his career in the Air Force which somehow never takes him out of Roswell, the strange way he speaks about the rumors surrounding the 1947 crash and the way he throws his weight around raises a lot of red flags.  He’s been worse the last few years, lurking around and asking questions.

“Well, he and Alex weren’t exactly buddy-buddy during the whole planning process and parade, but there was some weird tension between them.  I think Alex knows what his father’s up to, and this is our best chance to find out.  You,” Isobel points to him and smiles in a way that makes Michael very nervous, “are going to our honeypot.”

“Come on, Iz, you can’t be serious,” Michael groans.

“Well, it can’t be me,” Isobel waves a hand up and down her body.  “I am definitely not his type.  And Max is too uptight to explore his options so that leaves you, my ruggedly handsome, bisexual brother.”

“What makes you think Alex Manes is my type?” Michael protests, grasping at straws.

“Please,” Isobel snorts.  “I saw the way you stared at his ass in high school, trust me it’s only gotten better with age.”

“It’s still a bad idea.  Can’t you just see what he knows,” Michael gestures to Isobel’s head.  Her face falls, and he immediately feels like an dick.

“You know I don’t do that anymore,” Isobel whispers, looking away from Michael.

“I know,” Michael takes her hand and squeezes it in reassurance.  Isobel used to use her powers for silly, harmless things-getting an A on paper she never turned in, making her parents forget she was grounded.  But as the years went on and Max still haunted the Crashdown, hoping Liz would come visit, the guilt of sending Liz away became a heavier and heavier burden.

And finding out someone’s secrets isn’t as easy as pushing them into doing something.  Isobel wouldn’t be able to just persuade them to tell her what she wants to know, she’d have to take them into the mindscape.  They might not be able to lie, but she would be just as vulnerable.  It’s why they agreed she would never try it on Jesse Manes. 

“Last resort, okay,” Isobel squeezes his hand back before dropping it.  “Let’s try it the human way first.”

“Fine, but I am warning you ahead of time this plan is doomed to failure.  Alex Manes is not going to fall for me and confess all his father’s deep dark secrets.”

“You're not a nerdy teenager who doesn’t know how to flirt anymore, Michael.  Everyone wants a piece of the sexy handyman in the cowboy hat.  Just wear your jeans low, bend over a lot and find excuses to take off your shirt.  Like this,” Isobel plucks the beer bottles from Michael’s hand and slowly rolls it across her forehead and fans herself.  “Sure is hot in here,” she says in a falsely deep voice.  She tilts her head back and takes a slow sip from the bottle.  She lets a little beer trickle from her mouth and chases it slowly with her tongue before winking at Michael.

“Never do that again.  I’m scarred for life,” Michael grabs his beer back and immediately throws it away.

“Don’t pretend you haven’t seen those same pornos.  Alex will be putty in your hands.  Dammit,” Isobel looks at her watch, then quickly smooths her hair and straightens her clothes.  “I’ve got to run, or I’ll be late for my date.”

“Be safe,” Michael calls out as she hurries away.

Isobel blows him a kiss, “Love you, too.”

Michael sighs and shakes his head.  Isobel isn’t going to let this go so he might as well get started.  He walks out of the hallway to the bar and catches Maria’s eye.  It’s a quiet night so it’s not long before she comes over, his favorite beer already in her hand.

“Hey, DeLuca,” he stops her before she can walk away.

She eyes him warily, and he doesn’t blame her.  They had a thing a few years ago and while it didn’t end badly, they never quite found their footing with each other-settling for less than friends but more than exes. 

“Guerin,” she takes a step back in his direction.

“You’re still friends with Alex Manes, right,” he asks as casually as he can.

“Why,” Maria crosses her arms and stares at him.

“Stop trying to read me, it’s nothing bad,” he gives his best innocent smile.  “I heard he was looking for someone to do some work around his house, and I was hoping you’d put in a good word for me.”

“Give me one good reason.”

He drops the innocent act, knowing he can be honest with Maria about this even if he wasn’t with Isobel. “Business has been slow at Sanders so I could really use the money.  You know I’ll do a good job.”

“Fine,” she softens her stance slightly.  “But,” she leans across the bar so they are face to face, “if you screw him over, I’ll mount your balls above the bar for everyone to see.”

“Fair,” Michael swallows audibly knowing it’s not an idle threat.

“He’ll be here tomorrow night so come early because he’ll leave before it gets crowded.  I’ll let him know you’re interested.”

“Thanks, Maria, really,” Michael stands up to leave.

“Don’t make me regret this, Guerin,” Maria turns to another customer before he can respond.

Michael waits until he catches her eye, nodding and tipping his hat, before heading out, heart heavy.  He hopes whatever he gets from Alex is worth it because if this goes the way he thinks it will, Maria will never speak to him again.

Michael shows up at the Pony the next night in his cleanest jeans and with his shirt buttoned most of the way up.  He keeps the hat because this isn’t actually a job interview.  Alex Manes is easy to spot-he’s sitting at a table not far from the bar, turning a beer bottle in his hands.

He’s alone, and Michael takes a deep breath before approaching him.  “Manes,” he says, stopping to stand in front of the table.

Alex looks up from the bottle. “Guerin,” he replies, almost a question.

Michael hadn’t really thought this through.  It’s not like they were friends, he doesn’t have a real reason to approach Alex.  Not sure what to say, he just stands there awkwardly watching Alex.

Alex’s mouth twists in annoyance.  “If you’re going to thank me for my service, don’t.”

“Fuck, no,” Michael can’t hold back a brief laugh.  That’s the last thing he would ever do.

Instead of being offended, Alex seems to relax a bit at Michael’s reaction.  “So what do you want?”

Alex’s eyes flick up and down as he looks Michael over, and maybe Isobel knew what she was talking about when she picked Michael to be the honeypot.  He’s tempted to look back, flirt just enough to get Alex to follow him into the bathroom, but that won’t accomplish anything except scratching an itch.  

Michael takes a step back and squares his shoulders.  “Heard you were looking for a handyman.  Thought I’d throw my hat in the ring, metaphorically of course.” Michael runs his hand along the rim of his hat and winks at Alex.  A little flirting can’t hurt.

Alex looks toward the bar where Maria is watching them.  “Maria told me you’ve done some of the repairs at the bar.  Said you do good work.”

Michael shrugs and sends Maria a little wave.  He wasn’t sure she would follow through on recommending him to Alex.  Maria rolls her eyes at Michael and goes back to drying glasses.

“Give me your email,” Alex pulls Michael’s attention back.  “I’ll send you the list of what I need done, and you can give me a quote.”

Michael gives Alex his information then excuses himself, figuring it’s best not to push just yet.  He heads to the bar for his own drink.  Maria’s in the back so he chats with the bartender for a while, and when he looks back Alex is gone.

The email is waiting in his inbox when he gets up the next morning.  It looks like Alex sent it around 3 am so he’s either way more of a partier than Michael thought or an insomniac.  He reads over the list between cars at Sanders.  He can easily do everything on the list, and there is enough there to keep him busy for a good month.  If Michael bid the way he wanted to, the job would be nice money, enough to carry him through the winter.

But the goal isn’t to make money, it’s to make sure Alex hires him so he sends it back with a ridiculously low price.  It will cover materials, barely, but he won’t make any money and if anything goes wrong, he might end up in the red when it’s all done.

Michael waits until the end of the day to check his email.  Alex’s response isn’t at all what he was expecting.

“I don’t need you pity.  I can afford to pay for the work.  Send me a real quote so you are paid fairly instead of losing money.  If you can’t do that, I’m hiring Simmons and Sons.”

Michael makes a face.  Simmons and Sons are complete assholes who overcharge for substandard work.  But they’re big names in Roswell so they get all the city contracts and no one is willing to complain about them.  Old man Simmons was good friends with Jim Valenti, is still close with the mayor, the Longs and probably Alex’s dad.  He never hesitates to abuse those connections.  His sons are a little older than Michael, and he remembers how Jim Valenti always looked the other way when they were caught speeding through town drunk or selling weed.  Michelle’s not as soft, but the major still bails them out any trouble they find themselves in.   Even if Michael didn’t have an ulterior motive, he wouldn’t want to subject Alex to them.

It doesn't take long to come up with a realistic bid, one that will give him some financial breathing room as well as getting him closer to Alex.  Before he calls it a night Alex accepts his bid.  He reluctantly texts Isobel to let her know their plan is in motion.  He already feels guilty for taking advantage of Alex like this, but he knows their safety has to be his priority.  They can’t protect themselves if they don’t know how much of a threat Jesse Mane-and possibly his son-are.

Michael and Alex spend the next few days emailing back and forth to work out the details.  Alex will provide any materials related to the accessibility upgrades, and Michael will purchase everything else.  Alex sends him several documents outlining exactly what needs to be done in terms of accessibility-primarily to the bathrooms and entryways.  Alex also lets him know what tools he has at the house so Michael knows what he needs to bring with him. They also decide on a work schedule-Michael will work a few evenings a week once he’s done at the junkyard and Saturday afternoons. Although Alex assures him he can change that if needed since Alex works from home.

A few days before he is planning to start, the money needed for the initial supplies is deposited into his back account.  Michael knows Iz would be pissed if she knew Alex had his bank account information, but it’s not like he uses an “extraterrestrials only” branch of Roswell’s First Federated Credit Union.  He notices Alex also pays him the first half of his labor charges which is ahead of the schedule they set up.

Michael’s nervous when he finally knocks on Alex’s door.  He lives in a quiet neighborhood, not as fancy as the Evans, but nicer than anywhere Michael can imagine ending up.  Alex opens the door and waves him in.  He doesn’t say much beyond an initial hello, and Michael finds himself standing awkwardly in the living room when Alex sits back down in front of a laptop.

“So I thought I’d start in the second bath, get that up and running before I start the demo on the master,” Michael says, hoping for some directions from Alex as to what he wants.

“That’s fine,” Alex looks up with a frown, like he’s surprised Michael is asking.  “Whatever you think is best.  The bars are in the bathroom if that’s what you want to do first.”

“Well since your new shower installation isn’t here yet, and it will probably take a few weeks to get the master bath done once I start on it, I thought you’d appreciate having a functionally accessible bathroom in the meantime.”

“Sure,” Alex shrugged before turning his attention to the computer.  “Whatever you think.”

“Whatever I think,” Michael mumbles under his breath as he makes his way to the bathroom.  He’s more used to people micromanaging him, and following him around to make sure he doesn’t steal anything rather than basically telling him to do what he wants.  For some reason, he feels dismissed rather than trusted.

It takes a few hours to get the bars mounted.  The ones for the toilet are easy, but since this is a small bathroom, the shower is a small corner unit and getting the grab bars in the recommended formation proves to be a bit of a challenge.

When he’s done, he finds Alex right where he left him.  “Hey, you want to check out the bathroom before I go?”

“Is something wrong?” Alex doesn’t look up from what he’s typing.

“No,” Michael replies, bristling slightly.  “I followed the schematics you gave me, but I want to make sure the height and spacing work for you before I go.  That way I can adjust it now if you need me to.”

When Alex gets up, Michael notices he’s using a metal crutch that fits near his elbow.  It’s the first physical reminder he’s seen that there’s a reason Alex needs grab bars in his bathroom.  Alex walks away without a word.  Michael doesn’t follow him, he thinks they would both be uncomfortable watching Alex check the placement of the bars.

Michael knows he made the right call when Alex comes back and thanks him without meeting his eyes.  “Everything’s perfect, you did a good job.”

“I aim to please,” Michael tips his hat just to make Alex relax and smile.  “See you tomorrow.” When Alex nods, he gives a quick wave and heads out.

He’s almost back to the airstream when Isobel calls.

“Wel, how did it go?” she asks impatiently.

“He hasn’t fired me yet”

“Michael be serious,” she scolds him.  “Did you find anything out?”

“Iz, I was only there for a few hours.  Did you think he would confess his father’s a serial killer because I unclogged his drain?”

“A girl can dream,” Isobel sighs.  “Just be charming or at least sexy.  Pants too tight, shirt unbuttoned or, even better, shirt off.”

“Goodbye, Isobel,” Michael hangs up the phone before she can say anything else.

Alex doesn’t exactly give him a chance to show off.  He doesn’t even open the door for Michael the next day, just yells for him to come in.  He never budges from his computer the whole time Michael is there, and gives him an absent minded thanks when Michael leaves.

Michael spends Saturday working in the kitchen replacing the oven and range top.  It’s not difficult work, but it’s time consuming and awkward.  Once he’s wrangled the oven into place and hooked it up, he heads to the garage to bring in the new range top.  

“You want a beer?” Alex asks when he comes back into the kitchen.

“Uh, sure,” Michael tries not to act surprised.  He opens the fridge, gets a beer for himself and hands Alex one as well.

“Thanks,” Alex accepts the bottle with a small smile.  “Maria told me to be nice to you.”

Michael laughs because that sounds like Maria. “So you and Maria?” he asks, hoping to get Alex talking.

Alex raises a brow at him, “Shouldn’t I be asking you that?”

“She told you about me?” Michael preens a little.  “We had a good thing for a while, then we didn’t.  No harm no foul, we just wanted different things.”

“What did you want?” Alex asks with a slight edge to his voice.

“Someone to come home to, a picket fence, maybe a dog or two,” Michael shrugs.  “And Maria. . .”

“Maria’s too independent for that,” Alex fills in.

“Too independent, the bar and her mom need her too much for her to put that kind of energy into a relationship.  Timing was off for us, but that happens.”

“And here I thought you were the love them and leave them type.”

Michael groans because some rumors insist on following him.  “It’s all consensual and everyone knows the deal up front.  There’s nothing wrong with two adults having a good time together.  Just because I’m looking for my soulmate doesn’t mean I can’t have fun along the way.”

“Soulmate, seriously,” Alex snorts.

“Yeah,” Michael can’t help being a romantic at heart.  “You know the person the cosmos designed for you, the perfect fit, the one destined to be in your life.  I know it’s unlikely, but I can hope.  I take it you don’t believe in soulmates?”

“I’d feel sorry for anyone stuck with me,” Alex looks down at his bottle and frowns.

Michael takes a drink and tries to decide how to redirect the conversation.  “What about Liz Ortecho, you still talk to her much?”

Alex shakes his head.  Michael names a few other classmates, but gets the same response.

“I pretty much cut off all ties with Roswell once I left for basic,” Alex explains.  “I sent Maria a few postcards, but that was it.  We hadn’t really talked in years until she found out I was hurt and showed up at the rehab center.  Then she basically demanded I stay in touch,” Alex smiles at the memory.

“She’s a force of nature when she wants to be,” Michael says fondly.  He tosses his empty beer bottle in the recycling and decides it best to end this on a good night.  “Well, I should get back to it, thanks for the beer.”

Alex nods and turns back to his computer.

The next few times he’s there, Alex offers Michael a beer before he leaves.  Michael keeps the conversations light and short so he doesn’t raise Alex’s suspicions.  He finds he likes talking to Alex.  Once he understands Alex’s sense of humor he realizes what a sarcastic asshole he is, and Michael loves that.  He’s also smart-smart enough to keep up with Michael when he goes off on a tangent.  But Isobel has been bugging him about making progress so he carefully broaches the topic of Jesse Manes.

“Kind of surprised I haven’t seen your family around now that you’re back in town,” Michael says casually, not looking directly at Alex,

“My brothers are all still active military.  None of them are stationed nearby,” Alex explains.

“What about your dad? He still lives in Roswell.”

“My father’s the last person you’ll ever see here,” Alex snorts.  “Taking a medical discharge confirmed once and for all that I’m a coward and not worth his time.”

“I’m sorry,” it comes out almost like a question because Alex doesn’t seem at all bothered.

“I’m not,” Alex dismissed his concern.  “I would be happy to never see him again.”

Michael fiddles with his beer bottle, not sure where to go from there.  He remembers Jesse acting like a proud father at the parade and what Isobel said about their being tension between him and Alex.  Maybe all that pride was an act.

“Sorry,” Alex grimaces when the silence drags on.  “Didn’t mean to be a downer.”

“Probably my fault,” Michael shrugs.  “Isobel always says I’m terrible at conversation.”

“Isobel Evans?”  Alex looks up sharply.  “You’re still close with her, and Max too?”

“Yeah,” Michael rubs the back of his neck.  Normally he’d make a crude joke, lean into the assumption that he’s slept with Isobel or Max or both of them.  But if he wants Alex to open up to him, he’s going to have to show he trusts him.  “They’re my family, or at least as close as I get to one.  Not a lot of people know this, but we were found together in the desert as kids, lived in a group home together until they were adopted.  Then we lost touch for a long time.”

“I’m sorry you were separated.”

“It sucked,” Michael admits.  “But we found our way back to each other.  And I’m glad they had a family growing up, that they had it easier than I did.”

Alex nods, and Michael decides he’s had enough honesty for one night.  “Anyway, now I’m the one dragging us down.  It’s late so I’m going to head out.  See you tomorrow.”

The next day, Michael brings a six pack in with him.  Alex gives him a puzzled look when he passes him on his way to the kitchen.

“Can’t mooch off you forever,” Michael explains as he puts the beer in the fridge.  “Should be cold by the time I’m done.”

He spends the next few hours working on the master bath.  The shower won’t be in for a few weeks, but he needs to update the plumping and replace the tile.  When he reaches a good stopping point, he grabs two beers and joins Alex at the table.  Michael rocks back in his chair while Alex shuts down his lap top.

“So if your not here for your family,”

“Definitely not,” Alex interjects.

“Why did you come back?”

“What do you mean?”  Alex asks.

“No one comes back to Roswell voluntarily.  There has to be a reason you're here.”  When Alex doesn’t respond, Michael narrows his eyes and hums.  “So the first choice is usually to repair a broken relationship with a parent or sibling, but you ruled that out.  How about wealthy relative you never met left you a huge inheritance on the condition you live in Roswell for a year and marry.”

Alex just shakes his head.

Michael sighs dramatically.  “Then it must be for love.  You found out your ex is getting married and you want to win them back.  You always regretted the breakup so you’ve come to sweep them off their feet.”

Alex looks at Michael like he’s lost his mind.  “I was the gay, emo kid in a cowboy town.  How many exes do you think I have?”  Alex holds up his hand before Michael can respond.  “And if you say Kyle Valenti, you’re fired.”

“God, no,” Michael laughs.  “Not that douche.  Can you believe he’s a doctor?”

“Kyle always wanted to be the best at everything,” Alex says, looking a little wistful.

Michael remembers that Alex and Valenti used to be friends before Valenti became a raging dick.  His chest hurts remembering how Valenti had taunted Alex at Prom, how he pushed him around at school.  “You weren’t the only one,” Michael says, hoping it will be some kind of comfort.  “The only queer kid in Roswell, I mean.  Bisexual,” he points to himself.  “And Emily Rathburn fell in love with some girl in college.  They got married last year.”

“That’s nice, I guess,” Alex frowns a little.  “I still felt like the only one then, still felt alone.”

Michael nods, because he gets it.  Even after he found Isobel and Max, he felt alone.  All three of them were aliens, but they had a place here that Michael didn’t.  He was the one who longed to go home, wherever that was.  “Well,” he says, deciding to change the subject.  “Since you shot down all my rom com reasons for you to be in Roswell, why did you come back?”

“Had some loose ends to tie up.  There’s a company nearby that hires a lot of veterans with my skill set so being here is a way to get my foot in the door.”

There’s a weight to his words that makes Michael nervous, reminds of why he’s here.  But he decides not to push tonight.  “Hope it works out for you,” he says as he makes his way to the door.

The next time Michael walks into Alex’s, the house is quiet.  Alex isn’t at the table, his lap is closed and most of the lights are off.  “Alex?” he calls.  The door was unlocked so he assumes Alex is home, but Michael has never had to look for him.

“In here,” Alex calls.

Michael follows his voice to the living room where he finds Alex slumped in the corner of the couch.  He looks-Michael can’t actually say he looks bad, he’s too handsome for that-but he’s pale and drawn.  It’s also the first time he’s seen Alex without his prosthetic.  Alex always wears jeans when Michael is here so it’s easy to forget what happened to him.  But now Michael can see where the sweatpants he’s wearing are tied off-highlighting the empty space where the remainder of his right leg used to be.

“Are you ok?” Michael asks as he comes to stand in front of the couch.  Up close he can see lines of tension on Alex’s face.

“Rough PT session,” Alex waves away his concern.  “I’ll be fine.”

“You want a beer?”  Michael asks, already walking toward the kitchen.

“Thanks, but I can’t with the meds I took.”

Michael nods even though he’s out of Alex’s line of sight.  He rummages through the cupboards and doesn’t find any tea, but he does find a crumpled packet of hot chocolate.  He makes it with warm milk so it will hopefully taste better than the watery versions they used to serve at school functions.  When he goes back to the living room, Alex has his head tipped back against the couch and his eyes closed.  Michael sets the mug down gently on the table, not wanting to disturb Alex if he’s asleep.

But Alex cracks an eye open.  When he spots Michael, he picks up the mug, smiling when he smells what’s in it.  “Thanks, I haven’t had hot chocolate since I was a kid.”

“Thought you could use something warm.” Michael was going to say comforting, but that sounded too personal.  “I better leave you to it and get to work.”

Michael planned to work on the patio, but he’s reluctant to leave Alex alone so he decides to paint the spare room instead.  Painting is quiet work and it makes the silence in the house all the more noticeable.  When Michael’s working inside, he’s usually close enough to Alex that he can usually hear him typing on his laptop or at least hear the quiet music Alex always has playing in the background.  He barely manages to get the primer on before he gives in and goes out to check on Alex.

He finds Alex sprawled out on the couch, sleeping.  He doesn’t look particularly comfortable,and there’s a part of him that wants to carry him to bed.  Instead, Michael settles for gently moving his left leg which was dangling toward the floor back on to the couch.  Alex doesn’t stir or react at all to Michael’s touch, just keeps sleeping.

Michael’s debating if he should get Alex a blanket when a text from Isobel comes in.  Suddenly he remembers why he’s there.  It’s not to fuss over Alex, but to find out what his father is up to and if Alex is involved.  With Alex as deeply asleep as he is, it’s Michael's best chance to look for evidence.  He forces himself to walk away, ignoring the pang of regret he feels when he sees the mug of hot chocolate is empty.

Two hours later, Michael’s had enough.  He knows what brand of underwear Alex likes, that he has surprisingly expensive taste in shower gel and his homeowner’s insurance is due in two weeks.  Michael also knows how many medals and commendations he has from the Air Force, he knows Alex has exactly one picture of his mother, and if he dies, Maria DeLuca gets his pension and the rest of his assets are to be sold or liquidated and divided between four different charities.

Michael shouldn’t know any of these things, and he wishes he could erase them from his memory.  He stops on his way out to put Alex’s empty mug in the dishwasher.  Even though it feels wrong after what he’s just done, he covers Alex with the blanket from the armchair, whispering “sorry” before he leaves.

Guilt sits heavy in his stomach as he drives to the Wild Pony to meet Max and Isobel.  “So I searched Alex Manes house tonight,” he begins as soon as they sit down.

“Breaking and entering,” Max says in an angry whisper.  “Are you kidding me.”

“I was there to work on his house so no breaking involved.” Michael throws his hands up, not sure why Max is questioning him.

He sees Max wince and knows Isobel probably kicked him under the table.

“Sorry,” Max says sheepishly.  “I forgot about that.”

“Seriously?” Michael rolls his eyes.  “No wonder Iz picked me.”

“Boys, enough,” Isobel scolds them before turning to Michael. “What did you find?”

“Not a damn thing,” Michael replied.  He doesn’t tell them about the replica of Roswell’s gazebo packed away carefully in a box he found on the top shelf of Alex’s closet or the journals filled with song lyrics he couldn’t bring himself to read.  “Alex keeps saying he and Jesse hate each other, and I guess it’s true.  There isn’t a single thing in the house that mentions him or anything about aliens either.”

“He’s not going to leave that kind of stuff out in the open.  Are you sure you looked hard enough?” Isobel questions.

“Personal lockpick, remember,” Michael points to his head.  “I went through every drawer, every safe, the garage and his car.  Nothing,” he repeats.

“So now what?” Isobel slumps back against the booth.

“I finish the job, make some money and you find some other way to figure out what Jesse Manes is up to.”

“So helpful, Michael,” Isobel complains.

“Hey, I did my part.  It’s not my fault Alex doesn't know anything,” Michael protests.  Part of him feels like the words are untrue, just because it looks like Alex isn’t involved, he could still know something.  But everything he did tonight feels like a betrayal, and he’s ready to be done.

They argue a bit longer about the best way to spy on Jesse Manes without getting caught.  By the time Michael leaves, they still haven’t come up with any real options.

A little before noon the next day, Michael yells to Sanders that he is taking a break.  He swings by the Crashdown before making his way to Alex’s house.  Michael knocks on the door, something he hasn’t done in weeks, but Alex isn’t expecting him.

When Alex opens the door, he thrusts the bag at him.  “I brought you lunch,” he explains.  “I wanted to make sure you were alright.”

“Yeah, I’m good,” Alex ducks his head.  “Come in.”

Michael follows him into the house.  Alex sets the bag on the table before turning back to Michael.  “Thanks.”  He steps closer, frames Michael’s face with his hands and kisses him softly.  “Thank you for lunch and last night.  It’s been a long time since someone took care of me.”  When Michael doesn’t pull away, he kisses him again, deeper this time, tongue teasing Michael’s mouth open.

The look in Alex’s eyes when they pull apart fills Michael with equal parts hope and guilt so he does his best to deflect.  “You thank all your friends,” he almost says ‘employees’ but he knows that wouldn’t  be accurate when talking about what they are doing now, “this way?”

“Only the ones I want to fuck,” Alex says with a wicked smile.

“That what we’re doing here, Alex?”  Michael asks.

“I’m not your soulmate, Michael.  I know the deal.  Just two adults having fun, right.”

It’s less than Michael wants, but more than he deserves so he’ll take it.  Michael surges forward, taking control of the kiss and backing Alex up against the wall.  Once he has Alex pinned, Michael drops to his knees.  He makes quick work of Alex’s pants, pushing them down to mid thigh.

Alex is already starting to get hard, and Michael smiles, licking his lips in anticipation.  He grabs Alex’s ass to pull him closer.  “God, your ass,” he groans when his fingers dig into the muscles there.  Michael is tempted to spin Alex around, worship his ass with his eyes and mouth, but Alex’s dick is right here.

Michael takes him in his mouth, loving the way Alex immediately starts to get harder.  He doesn’t bother with finesse, just takes Alex as deep as he can. It’s sloppy and fast and Michael loves it, not bothering to wipe away the mix of spit and precome that slips out of his mouth.  Alex buries his hands in Michael’s hair, tugging just hard enough to sting as he thrusts into Michael’s mouth.  

When Michael strokes his fingers down the crease of Alex’s ass, he comes with a muffled shout.  His fingers tighten even more in Michael’s hair, and Michael’s cock throbs in response.  He lets Alex’s cock slide out of his mouth.  Michael rocks back on his heels and licks Alex clean until Alex whimpers and pushes his head away.  Before he stands, he pulls Alex’s pants back up, because no one likes to stand around with their pants down once they’re soft and spent, but doesn’t bother to fasten them.

Alex reaches for him, pressing his thumb against Michael’s swollen lips.  When his cock brushes against Alex’s leg, he can’t help but whine.

“I can’t” Alex gestures between the floor and his leg.

“Don��t care,” Michael mumbles.  “Your hand is more than enough.”

Alex looks at him for a moment before nodding.  He licks his palm while holding Michael’s gaze then sucks each finger slowly into his mouth.  It’s a little mean and a lot sexy, and Michael knows he’s screwed in more ways than one.

Michael has his pants down before Alex gets to his thumb.  Alex’s hand is cool in contrast to the heated skin of his dick, and he moans loudly when Alex wraps his hand around him.  He doesn’t tease, and Michael’s grateful as Alex jerks him off, strokes sure and steady.  It’s over quicker than he’d like, but Alex doesn’t seem to mind, kissing him deeply before he’s even caught his breath.

Michael licks the come off Alex’s palm, repeating Alex’s earlier action.  Alex’s eye’s darken, and Michael can’t help preening a little under the intensity of his attention.  “I should probably get back before Sanders starts to miss me,’ Michael says reluctantly, cleaning himself up as best he can with his shirttails before refastening his pants.

Alex doesn’t respond, just slumps against the wall and watches him leave.

“See you tomorrow,” Michael calls on his way out, getting a lazy wave from Alex in response.

Michael’s not sure what to expect when he shows up the next day.  Alex gives him a quiet “hey” when he walks by, but never looks up from his laptop screen.   Michael tips his hat in acknowledgement and heads straight to the patio.

Maybe he wasn’t expecting Alex to greet him with a kiss, but he was hoping to get some indication from Alex as to where they stand.  If that was it, if Alex just wants to pretend nothing happened, Michael won’t be the one to bring it up.

He spends the next few hours outside, taking his frustration and confusion out on the last of the concrete that needs torn out.  The work is physical enough to keep him focused so can’t think about how Alex felt in his mouth and how much he wants to feel that again and again.

The sun has set by the time he’s done, and once he stops working the night air makes him shiver when it hits him.  He heads into the house-sweaty, dirty and exhausted.  He hopes to get out without attracting Alex’s attention. All Michael wants to do is go home, shower and sleep.  He can’t face awkward small talk with Alex over beers tonight.

He’s washing his hands at the sink in the kitchen when Alex comes up behind him.  Michael feels Alex breath on his neck before his lips find the spot beneath his ear.  Michael shudders and tries to shrug Alex away.  “I’m sweaty and gross,” he explains.

“Don’t care,” Alex says as he continues licks a line along the side of Michael’s neck.  “I like the way you smell.  Like the ground after it rains.  It’s sexy.”

“You think so?”  Michael turns in Alex’s arms, shaking his hands dry as best he can.  

Alex takes his hat off and sets it on the counter.  He twirls one of the curls he freed on his finger and tugs Michael closer.  “Let me show you.”

He leads Michael into the living room, pushing him gently onto the couch.  Alex shoves Michael’s shirt up to his armpits, leaving Michael to struggle out of it while he nuzzles and mouths at Michael’s chest.  It’s all teeth and tongue, and Michael’s hips buck up when Alex bites one of his nipples.

“Pants,” Alex demands.

Michael kicks his shoes off and tries to concentrate, but Alex is licking and sucking along his collarbone and that’s all he can focus on.  He gets as far as unbuckling his belt before Alex takes over, pulling his pants off and tossing them aside.

As Alex makes his way down his body, Michael spreads his legs as wide as he can, dropping one leg off the couch, to give Alex more room.  Michael sighs in anticipation when Alex pushes him further up the couch and settles between his legs.

Alex rests his head on Michael’s thigh, pressing his face into the crease of his groin.  For a moment he just stays there, breathing into Michael’s skin.  Then he turns his attention to Michael’s balls, licking around them and sucking on them while one his hands plays with the wiry curls above Michael’s dick.

“Come on, man,” Michael pleads.

Alex looks up and smiles.  “You want something?”

“Your mouth on my dick would be ideal right now.”

Alex shrugs like it’s no big deal then sucks Michael down almost to the root.  Michael can’t help but thrust up, harder than he means to.  But Alex doesn’t hold him still, just rides it out.  Then he slides his hand under Michael’s ass, encouraging him to set the pace.

Michael likes to think he gives a good blowjob, but Alex is on another level.  Once again it's over quicker than he’s like it to be.  But once he’s done, he barely gets a hand on Alex’s dick before Alex is coming all over his stomach so Michael calls it even.

Alex watches from the couch while Michael gathers his clothes.  His jeans are already pulled up and zipped although the button is undone, and Michael still hasn’t found his own pants.  “I really need to get you naked,” he says without thinking.

“Next time,” Alex answers with a smirk.

His hand is on the door when Alex calls him back.

“Hey, you forgot this,” he walks out of the kitchen holding Michael’s hat.  When he gets to Michael, he plops it on his head before kissing him.  Before Michael can respond, he reaches around Michael to open the door and nudges him out.

They settle into a routine after that.  Michael shows and does whatever work he has scheduled for the day, and then they fuck.  It’s been a long time since Michael had sex with the same person more than once, and he forgot how fun it can be.  They get off grinding against each other on the couch like teenagers one night, and the next day Michael jerks Alex off while fucking his thighs.  There’s an enthusiastic, but perhaps ill advised round of sixty-nine in Alex’s bed.  Somehow Michael almost gets hit in the head by Alex’s prosthetic, but when he comes seeing stars, it’s from Alex’s mouth not a concussion so he’s not complaining.  

Michael knows they have an expiration date.  There’s not much left to do at the house, and once he doesn’t have an excuse to be at Alex’s house, they’ll go their separate ways.  Alex has given no indication he’d make an effort to see Michael and considering Michael, Max and Isobel are still trying to figure out what Alex’s father is up to, ending this before that happens is a good idea.

Still coming home, smiling and satisfied after Alex fucked him against the kitchen table, he’s unprepared for Isobel to blow the whole thing up.  She’s pacing outside his airstream when he pulls up.

“Liz Ortecho is back in town,” she says as soon as he’s out of the truck and close enough to hear her.

It’s an eerily familiar way to start a conversion, but he’s pretty sure she isn’t going to ask him to honeypot Liz Ortecho.  “So,” he replies.

“Max was with her at the Crashdown last week when Wyatt Long and his pals shot it up.  They hit Liz, and Max saved her.”

“He what!” Michael shouts. “Last week?  Why am I just finding out now?”

“He just told me.”

“I assume she knows.”

“Kind of hard to hide the sparkly, glowing handprint.”  Isobel holds up her own hand as if Michael doesn’t know what she means.

“That’s just great,” Michael throws up his hands.  “All these years of telling us to be careful, and as soon as Liz waltzes back into town, Max throws it all away.”

“It’s worse than that,” Isobel winces.

“He didn’t tell her about Rosa, did he?”  Now Michael is pacing.  “Wouldn’t that be the icing on the fucking cake.  After everything we did to protect you, Max tells Liz not only did we kill her sister, we framed her for Kate and Jasmine’s deaths.”

“No, he didn’t tell her about that,” Isobel rushes to assure him.  “But the reason he finally told me about Liz is that Jesse Manes showed up at the station today.  He was asking the Sheriff about where Jim Valenti’s old files were stored.  Said he needed them to clear up some Air Force case.”

“Shit,” Michael swears.

“I followed him from the station, and he met up with Kyle Valenti.  I couldn’t hear everything they were saying, but I definitely heard ‘handprint’ and ‘Alex.’”

“You don’t know,” Michael starts.

“Alex knows something, Michael.  Something big or at least more than we know.  I have to find out what it is,” Isobel squares her shoulders.

“No,” Michael objects too fast.  “I’ll get him to tell me.  You don’t need to get into his head.”

Isobel narrows her eyes and stares at him.  “Oh my god, you slept with him.”

“Wasn’t that kind of the point,” Michael says defensively.

“Not now, not after you said he was a dead end.  If you’re sleeping with him now,” Isobel cocks her head.  “Oh, Michael, you’re in love with him, aren’t you?”

Michael shuffles his feet and looks away.  “Doesn’t matter.  It’s over as soon as I finish his house so we might as well get something out of it.”

“It does matter,” Isobel looks at him with something too close to pity.  “You don’t have to do this.  If there’s a chance for you and Alex,”

“There isn’t,” he cuts her off.  “And even if there were, this is more important.  Protecting our secret, protecting our family is always going to be the first priority.  I won’t risk that for Alex Manes, no matter how good the sex is.”

“So the sex is good, huh,” Isobel teases, willingly going along with his need to change the topic from his impending broken heart..

“It’s fucking epic,” Michael gloats just a bit.

“I’m sorry you have to do this, but you’re not alone.”  Isobel stands up straighter.  “I’m going to cozy up to Kyle Valenti, see if I can figure out what he knows.”

“Eww,” Michael makes a face.  “What about the lawyer you’ve been seeing?”

“No real sparks there.  I’ll just throw the lawyer over for a doctor.  Mom will still be thrilled.”

“Just promise me you’ll be careful,” Michael says, resigned to Isobel doing what she wants.

“I will,” she promises, giving him a hug before leaving.

The next time Michael is at Alex’s he finishes the shower, the last of the renovations to the master bath..  It’s good work, something to be proud of.  It’s also the last big project he has at the house.  There’s a few days of work left in finishing up the patio, but that’s it.  Time is ticking on both his time with Alex and his opportunity to get answers.

Once the bathroom’s clean, he heads to the kitchen to find Alex.  “Shower’s done.  You should try it out,” he suggests.

“You going to join me?” Alex asks as he stands up from the table.

“Thought you liked me all sweaty?” Michael asks.

“I do,” Alex looks him up and down, leering just a bit.  “Just don’t leave, ok?” he reaches out and grips Michael’s wrist.

“I won’t,” Michael promises.  Then to change the mood, he adds with a wink, “Want to see how much you enjoy all my hard work.”

Alex rolls his eyes, but lets go of Michael and disappears into the bedroom.  Once he hears the water running, he strips and waits for Alex in his bed.  When Alex comes out of the bathroom, he looks like one of Michael’s fantasies come to life.  Steam billows around him, his skin is flushed and slightly damp, his hair slicked back from his forehead.

Once he makes his way to the bed, Alex sets his crutches aside and kisses Michael.  “The shower head is a little fancier than I remember.”

“Thought you deserved an upgrade,” Michael shrugs.  “You like it?”

“The massage setting was amazing,” Alex tells him, stretching out next to him and kissing his neck.

“I may have also adjusted your water pressure,” Michael admits.

“Thank you,” Alex whispers into his skin.  “I think you deserve a reward.”

Michael’s not going to pass that up so he thinks about what he wants.  “Turn over for me,” he finally tells Alex.

Alex looks up at Michael and studies his face, trying to determine how serious he is.  When Michael holds his gaze, he smiles and turns over.

Once Alex is on his stomach, Michael moves to sit between his legs and pushes a pillow under his hips.  He takes a moment to just look because Alex’s ass is as magnificent as he always thought it would be.  He settles into a more comfortable position and parts Alex’s cheeks.  “Can I?” he asks, making sure his breath hits Alex’s hole so Alex knows what he wants.

“Please,” Alex replies, already shifting to get closer to Michael.

Michael doesn’t hesitate, just presses his tongue against Alex’s hole.  When Alex shudders and moans, he licks a stripe along the crease of his ass before returning to push inside him.  They’ve never done this before, and Michael wishes they had, wishes they’d done this everyday because Alex loves it.

Alex is never still, he alternates between grinding against the pillow and pushing his ass closer to Michael’s face.  And the noises he makes are indescribable.

“God, you were made for this,” Michael says in awe when he takes a break.  

Alex whines at the loss of his tongue, and Michael gives his ass a playful smack before diving back in.  Michael drags it out as long as he can, but sooner than he’d like Alex is coming into his own fist with Michael’s tongue buried as deep as he can get it in Alex’s hole.

It’s tempting when Alex’s is spent, sprawled face down on the mattress to fuck him right then while he’s still slick and open.  But he wants to take his time, wants to make Alex come again so he eases the pillow from under Alex’s hips and tosses it on the floor before urging Alex to turn over.

Alex stretches and gives Michael a blissed out smile before reaching lazily towards Michael’s cock.  “Want some help with that?”

“Not yet,” Michael swats his hand away because if Alex touches him it will be over before it starts.  “Going to get you hard again first.”

“Ambitious,” Alex teases.

���Just watch me,” Michael promises, then proceeds to devote himself to Alex’s pleasure.  He uses everything he’s learned about Alex’s body over the last few weeks-the places he likes to be kissed and stroked, the  places he wants Michael to use his teeth and press deep into his skin.  Michael knows how to make Alex bite his lip and shiver, how to make him arch his back and buck his hips.  He makes him moan and curse, plead and demand, and that’s just the beginning.

When Alex is hard and weeping again, he uses his fingers to stretch him, getting him more open then he already was.  He ignores Alex’s insistence that he’s ready as long as he can and when Michael finally pushes inside, it’s overwhelming.

Michael fucks him slowly, almost slower than he can stand.  But it’s worth it to watch Alex come apart beneath him, to watch the sweat bead on his body, to watch him become more restless the closer he gets until he grabs his own dick and strokes himself to orgasm in time with Michael’s thrusts.

Watching Alex, feeling him tighten around him, pushes Michael over the edge.  His own release washes over him, his rhythm stutters until he finally stills inside Alex.  Michael collapses next to Alex on the bed, pulling out of him reluctantly.  Alex gives him a sloppy, uncoordinated kiss before closing his eyes.

By the time Michael gets back from the bathroom with a washcloth, Alex is asleep.  He cleans him gently before returning to bed.  It’s tempting to fall asleep as well, but Michael doesn’t want to waste the time he has left with Alex.  He settles close to him and watches him, pretending while he can that this is something he can have.

When Alex starts to stir, Michael watches the way his eyes flutter before finally opening.  He turns toward Michael smiling when he sees him still there.  “It’s nice waking up to you,” he says in a way that lets Michael know he isn’t quite awake enough to filter what he says.

Michael’s heart shatters because he knows this is the time to ask.  He brushes the hair off Alex’s forehead and kisses him softly before going in for the kill.  “If you hate your father so much, why did you follow in his footsteps?”  Michael aims for casual and misses badly.

“Is that what you think I did?”  Alex laughs harshly and pushes the heels of hands into his eyes.  Then he turns to face Michael, all the softness, all the sleepy haziness is gone from his eyes.  “My father has secrets, Michael, dangerous ones.  Joining the Air Force was the best way to find out what they were.”

Michael makes a noise of inquiry, hoping Alex will keep talking.

“Being a legacy recruit in the Air Force, especially with a family like mine, opens doors.  People talk, around you, to you, assuming you joined for the same reason they did, to carry on your family’s legacy.  I took advantage of every opportunity the Air Force gave me, for the exact opposite reason, to destroy my family’s legacy.”

“Did you find what you were looking for?”

“Some of it, most of it.  Got closer enough for this,” Alex gestures at his leg.

Michael stiffens at the insinuation.  “You think your father,” he can’t even finish the thought.

“I can’t prove it. Yet,” Alex amends.  “Friendly fire happens, more often than people think, but this wasn’t a normal accident.  And he did a piss poor job at hiding how disappointed he was that I survived.”

“Jesus,” Michael swears under his breath.  If Jesse Manes was willing to kill his own kid, he’s way more dangerous than they thought.

“When I left the Air Force, he wrote me off as a coward.  He thinks he scared me off, that I came home to hide out and lick my wounds.”

“So why are you here,” Michael asks, echoing his question from weeks ago.

“To finish what I started,” Alex answers.  He leans back, putting space between them that wasn’t there before. “Any other questions?”

Michael swallows hard because this isn’t his lover asking, this is the Air Force captain Michael likes to pretend Alex never was.  He should push, find out just how much Alex is willing to tell him, but he sees the betrayal hiding behind the hardness in Alex’s eyes, and he can’t.  “I should get going,” he says instead.

Alex nods and shifts so he is sitting against the headboard no longer touching Michael at all.  He watches Micheal get dressed, watches as he walks out, without saying another word.

When Michael gets back to his truck, he pounds his fists against the steering wheel before taking a deep breath and driving away.  He knows he hurt Alex, knows he ruined any slim chance they had at being something, and he still doesn’t have solid answers because he was too chicken shit twist the knife in Alex’s back.  Michael’s tempted to drive straight to the Wild Pony and hand his balls over to Maria right then.

The next time he goes to Alex’s, the door is open, but Alex isn’t waiting for him.  Instead he finds a note on the table explaining that Alex had some errands to run, and Michael should lock up when he’s done.

“Errands,” Michael snorts.  He can’t blame Alex for wanting to avoid him.

After a few hours working on the patio, Michael’s ready to call it a night.  There’s almost nothing left to do, and being here without Alex is uncomfortable.  

Alex is missing again the next night, not even bothering to with a note this time.  Michael drags out what little he has to finish, hoping Alex will show up before he’s done. He’s making some final adjustments to the gate when Isobel calls.

“Why is Alex Manes at the Wild Pony getting drunk and looking like he plans to stay that way?”

“Cause I fucked up Iz,” Michael sighs.  “He knows I want something from him, something to do with his father.”

“Did he tell you?” Isobel asks, a hint of hope in her voice.

“No, and why would he?  He doesn’t trust me, but he knows.  He’s not involved.” Michael hastens to add.  “I think he’s been investigating his father for a long time.  So whatever Jesse’s up to, Alex knows what it is.”

“So I guess it’s my turn,” Isobel signs, hope turned to resignation.

“Not tonight,” Michael interjects.  “Not when he’s been drinking.”  He doesn’t want to think about what it means that he’s as worried about Alex as he is Isobel when he thinks about Isobel forcing him into a mindscape.

“Not tonight, but soon,” Isobel warns. “Now that Liz knows, we have to figure out who our enemies are before she turns on us.”

Michael hopes that won’t happen, that somehow Max can keep Liz on their side, but he knows Isobel is right.  “Just give me a day or two to say goodbye.”

“Michael,” Isobel says sadly. “I’m sorry I made you do this.”

Even though she can’t see him, Michael shrugs.  What’s done is done.  “So how’s it going with Valenti?” he asks, ready to change the subject.

“Pointless,” Isobel huffs out a frustrated breath.  “He’s as hopelessly hung up on Liz Ortecho as Max.  I don’t know what they see in her.  She’s.”

“Brilliant and gorgeous,” Michael interrupts.  

“A self-righteous know-it-all,” Isobel continues as if Michael hadn’t spoken.  “Looks like my date is here.  Talk to you later.”

“Bye Iz, be careful,” Michael reminds her before hanging up.

Now that he knows Alex won’t be coming home, Michael quickly finishes the rest of his work.  When he’s done, he’s tempted to leave Alex a note.  Instead he leaves a copy of the itemized job list Alex originally sent him-with every item checked off-on the table.  He locks up when he leaves, the click of the lock audible in the silence around him.

When Michael wakes up the next morning, there is a notification of a deposit in his bank account-almost twice what they agreed on.  Michael tosses his phone aside with a sigh, it’s not like Alex can’t afford it, which is something Michael shouldn’t know, but he’s seen Alex’s bank statements.  He’ll deal with it later.

It’s dark by the time Michael works up the courage to go to Alex’s.  He rings the doorbell for the first time since this all started.  When Alex opens the door on crutches, prosthetic off, guilt twists in Michael’s stomach.  He shouldn’t get to see Alex like this-relaxed and vulnerable-anymore.  

“I have something for you.  Can you meet me out back?” Michael asks.

Alex just nods and shuts the door.  By the time Michael stops by the truck and makes it to the patio, Alex is waiting for him.   

Michael sets the firepit in the middle of the brick he laid.  “I made that for you,” he says awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck.  “Thought it would look nice out here.”

“Thanks,” Alex sounds confused by the gesture.  But he smiles as he studies the polished metal and the constellations Michael had punched out.  

“You overpaid me,” Michael blurts out.

“You did good work, and it’s still less than I would have paid Simmons,”  Alex explains.

“Yeah, well thanks.”  Michael turns to go.

“Michael,” Alex’s voice stops him.  “Did you get what you wanted out of this?”

“A paycheck and a good fuck? Yeah no complaints on either one.”  Not prepared to be put on the spot, Michael reverts to sarcasm.

Alex looks frustrated, and for a moment Michael thinks he’s going to let him walk away.  

“That’s not why you took this job.”

“What makes you say that?” Michael stays on the defensive.

“Maybe the third time you asked about my father.  Or maybe it was when you searched my house.”  Now Alex is the one relying on sarcasm.

Michael doesn’t say anything.  He should have had an excuse ready, should have been prepared, but he never expected Alex to confront him.

“I know who you are Michael,” Alex continues.  “Or should I say I know what you are.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Michael denies, but he knows his panic is showing.

“Come on,” Alex opens the french doors-the ones Michael installed-and gestures for Michael to follow.  “We should have this conversation inside.”

Michael wants to run, wants to get in his truck and drive as far away from Roswell as he can.  But if Alex really knows the truth, running won’t help.  He needs to find out exactly what Alex knows.

“Can you grab a few beers from the fridge,” Alex calls out from the living room.

“Sure,” Michael says faintly.  He takes it as a good sign.  Alex wouldn’t offer him a beer if he was planning to ship him off somewhere to be experimented on.

Once they are both seated,-Alex on the couch, Michael on the chair closest to the door-Alex looks at him and sighs.  “I know you and Max and Isobel Evans are aliens.  I’ve known since high school.”

“How,” Michael breathes, too shocked to hear someone-Alex-say it out loud to deny it.

“It’s a long story,” Alex picks up his beer bottle, fiddles with it then sets it back down.  “Before my mom left, she used to take us to the Reservation every weekend. She would go see this woman named Louise.  She was old, seemed ancient to me, was in a wheelchair and didn’t speak.  But she was a healer.  My brothers were always running around, playing with the other kids, but I wanted to stay with my mom so I spent a lot of time with Louise. She used to tell me stories, in my head.”

“In your head?” Michael says skeptically.

“Like I said she didn’t talk.  I asked my mom how she could do that and how she could help people because she wasn’t Native.  My mother told me her powers were special, that they didn’t come from the earth.”

“You think she was an alien?”  Michael tries to sound more skeptical than hopeful.

“Not then, but yes I believe she was an alien. The stories she told me were all about another planet, a war and people fleeing.  I used to think she was just telling her own version of Star Wars, but now,” Alex shrugs.

Michael wants to ask for detail, wants to know everything she told Alex in hopes of finding himself in the stories.  But he knows this isn’t the time so he remains silent.

“One day my mom was on the phone and she said ‘the children have come’ and then she told me Louise had died.  One story Louise told me more than once was about the three sleeping children who were destined to save her world and how her job was to be their guardian until they woke up.”

Shivers run down Michael’s spine.  It seems like too much to believe, but she had to have been talking about the three of them.

“My mom left soon after that, and I forgot about Louise and her stories.  My main focus was avoiding my father.  He was always cruel, but once he figured out I was gay he became more and more violent.  I used to hide out in this shed behind the house that my grandfather built.  When I was about fourteen or fifteen, I was looking for a place to hide stuff from my dad.  I pulled up one of the floorboards and found a skeleton.”

“There was a body buried under your family shed?”  Michael doesn’t understand what this has to do with him.

“It was my father’s uncle, Tripp.  My father always talked about what a hero he was, how he died fighting for his country.  But it turns out my grandfather killed him because he was in love with an alien.”

“Louise?”

“No, another woman named Nora.  There was a journal buried with them.  It said Tripp and my grandfather were at the original crash in 1947.  Tripp helped Nora and Louise escape along with three children held in some sort of stasis pods.  They hid in Roswell for a year, and Tripp and Nora fell in love.  They were going to take the children and run, but my grandfather found out and raided the farm they were staying on.  He captured Nora and shot Louise.  Tripp got Louise to the Reservation, but he couldn’t save Nora.”

“What happened to her?”  Michael was almost afraid to find out.  

“There was a prison built by the military after the crash for the survivors.  My grandfather ran it along with the Valentis.  She was taken there.  My grandfather suspected Tripp wasn’t loyal so he kept him away.  Because he and my father were close, Tripp tried to get him on his side before my grandfather corrupted him. Tripp was trying to convince my father that the aliens weren’t a threat and get his help in freeing Nora and the other prisoners.  My grandfather found out, and I assume that’s when he killed him.”

“I didn’t find the journal when I,” Michael gestures to the room.  He’s not sure he believes Alex.

“I don’t keep it in Roswell.  I have a safety deposit box my father can’t find.”

“Even if all that is true and great uncle Tripp wasn’t some sort of Grant Green crackpot, it doesn’t have anything to do with me.”

“Tripp said if they didn’t take the children out of the pods, they would open in fifty years.  Louise died fifty years after the crash.  It wasn’t hard to put the pieces together.”

“And the pieces led you to me?”  Michael’s have a hard enough time connecting the dots in Alex’s story.  He can’t see how Alex figured out the truth on his own.

“Not a first,” Alex shakes his head.  “You know I don’t think I even knew Max and Isobel were adopted.  But once I started investigating and found the article about the children found in the desert I recognized them.”

“So being adopted makes them aliens,” Michael snaps, crossing his arms.  His instinct is always to protect Max and Isobel.

Alex gives him a look that lets him know he realizes Michael is deflecting.  “Once I started paying attention, I saw how the lights flickered around Max, how Isobel always got her way.  You were a bit harder.  But I remembered you were in foster care, and I saw how close you were to Max and Isobel so I figured you might be the third child.  I followed you around for a while and saw you moving things without touching them.”

Michael’s breath speeds up as he realizes how easy it was for Alex to discover their secret.  The illusion of safety they’d clung to all these years was fading.  “Did you, did you tell anyone?”

“No, never” Alex reaches across the distance between them and briefly touches his hand.  “And once I figured out what my father was doing, I altered all the records on the three of you.  It would be virtually impossible to connect any of you to the three kids found in the desert.”

“So why did you hire me?  Why bring me into your house believing all this?”  Maybe Michael wasn’t the only one with an agenda.  What if Alex’s job was a trap all along?

“You may find this hard to believe, but you being an alien isn’t the first thing that comes to mind when I see you.  Maybe I’ve known long enough to forget most of the time,” Alex seemed unconcerned.  “Maria recommended you, and I figured if she trusted you, so could I.”

Michael shifts uncomfortably when Alex mentions trust.

“And like I said outside,” Alex continues, “I didn’t realize right away that you had other reasons for wanting this job.”

Michael realizes it’s his turn to explain.  “We’ve thought your father might know about us for a while, but we didn’t know how to find out without tipping him off.  When you came back to town, Isobel saw an opportunity.  It seemed safer to try and get information from you rather than your father.  Then she found out you needed someone to work on the house, and asked me to do it.”

“She asked you to seduce me,” Alex says flatly.

“Not like that,” Michael tells him hastily.  He doesn’t want Alex to think sex was part of the plan, but he knows how it must look.  “She just wanted me to get close to you, try and figure out what you knew.”

“And what did you find out,” Alex’s tone is cold.  Michael can feel him pulling away, can feel the doubts about every interaction creeping in.

“Nothing more than you told me,” Michael admits.  

He can see Alex running through their conversations in his head.  He looks at Michael then sighs, “I wasn’t joking when I told you my father’s secrets were dangerous.  But if anyone deserves to know them, it’s you.”

“Are you sure?”  Michael shouldn’t ask, getting Alex to tell him the truth about Jesse has always been the goal, but he can’t help but want Alex to have a choice.

“The prison I mentioned earlier became a family project,” Alex continues, ignoring Michael’s question.  “My father took it over from my grandfather.  It was as horrible as you can imagine-experiments, torture, isolation.  It’s a miracle any of the aliens survived at all let alone for as long as they did.  Working there was its own kind of evil.  It turned my father into the worst kind of zealot-one who truly believes what he’s doing is right, that he is standing between humanity and our destruction.  That prison consumed him.”

“Is it still there?” Michael’s afraid of the answer.  He longs to discover more of his species, but not if it means they’re still being imprisoned and tortured..

Alex shakes his head.  “Several years ago, the Air Force pulled the funding and told my father to end the project.  He didn’t, instead he funded it with his own money.  But eventually he was caught.  He should have been court martialed but the Air Force couldn’t risk a trial.  Instead they destroyed the prison with all the remaining prisoners, all records and research inside of it.”

Michael can feel the blood drain from his face.  It’s a horrible end to a horrible fate, and his last hopes of finding a family are destroyed with it.  “Are you sure?” he can’t help but ask.

“I've seen the footage.  When I got back to Roswell, I visited the site.  There were no survivors.  I’m sorry.”

Michael nods, lips pressed tightly together.  There is nothing left to say.

“They made my father watch, but they should have left him in the prison to burn along with it.  Let that be the legacy he always dreamed of,” Alex says bitterly.

Michael can’t help but laugh although it’s humorless.  

“So that’s it?”  Michael says.  One stroke of a bureaucrats pen, and his whole species is gone. The secret they uncovered is nothing more than a story now, all the players dead.  Michael wished he’d told Isobel no, that he’d never learned this truth.

“It should have been.  I think my father would have given up after everything was destroyed, but he knows there are other aliens in Roswell.”

“You said,” Michael stands up, fear propelling him to his feet.

“Not you, not Max or Isobel,” Alex reassures him, holding up his hand to keep Michael there.

“How?”  Michael asks, sitting back down.  “If there was another alien, wouldn’t we know?”

“I don’t know,” Alex admits.  “Nothing in all the records I’ve hacked indicated there were other survivors or how they could still be alive.  But no one knew about Louise either.  What I do know is over the last few years over a dozen people have been murdered-homeless people, vagrants, prostitutes.   All the bodies have a glowing handprint on them.”

“Shit,” Michael buries his face in his hands. “If you know there is an alien murderer out there, why risk letting me get close to you?”

“The handprint is too big to be yours or Isobel’s, and it doesn’t match Max’s,” Alex says matter of factly.  “My father and Jim Valenti covered up the murders for years.  Now he has my brother Flint helping, insisting the murders are part of a military investigation and claiming the bodies.  He won’t stop until he figures out who it is.”

“Liz Ortecho knows,” Michael blurts out.  “At least about Max which means she knows about Isobel, I don’t know how much he’s actually told her.  But she may have told Kyle Valenti who has been talking to your father.”

Alex’s face goes blank for a second.  “Well, that changes things. My plan was to find out who this alien is before my father does and figure out how to stop them without resorting to genocidal prisons.  But if he suspects any of you are aliens, he’ll assume you are involved in the murders, and I don’t know how quickly he will act.”

The theoretical danger of discovery Michael always feared was becoming very real.  “I can’t let him hurt Max or Isobel.”

“He won’t,” Alex says with certainty.  “I know what kind of monster my father is and exactly what he is capable of.  I won’t let him hurt anyone else, including you.”

“You can’t promise that,” Michael shakes his head.

“This is what I’ve been working toward for years. It’s why I joined the Air Force.  Not because I ever wanted to be in the military, but because I wanted to learn how to defeat him, how to take everything from him without him ever seeing me coming.  I’ve kept your identity from him for years, that’s not going to change.”

“I can’t ask that of you.”  Michael won’t trust his family’s safety to anyone else.  He’s been alone his whole life, he doesn't know how to rely on someone else to watch out for him.  

“You’re not asking.  I’m doing this for me.  I’m going to take my father down, and I’ll protect your secret while I do it.  You don’t owe me anything.  You don’t need to pretend,” Alex gestures between them.

“Alex,” Michael gets up and moves to sit next to him on the couch.  Alex flinches, but waves Michael to the cushion next to him.  “What happened between us wasn’t part of any plan.  I wanted everything we did together, I wanted you.”

“And now?” Alex asks cautiously.

“I don’t know,” Michael looks down at his hands.  “Even though what I felt was-is-real, it was built on a lie.  I came here under false pretenses, I tried to manipulate you.  I searched your house,” Michael forces himself to look back up.  “And because of that, I know things about you-things that helped me fall in love with you-that aren’t mine to know.  Maybe things you would never want me to know, but I do.  How do we move past that?”

“I’ve been hiding my whole life,” Alex says quietly.  “From my father, my brothers, my friends, everyone I ever served with.  When enough of the people who are supposed to love and support you turn away, you have to believe the problem is you.”

“Alex,” Michael can’t help but interrupt, taking his hand.  He knows that kind of pain and doubt.  It had taken years of Max and Isobel refusing to be pushed away, and building relationships with people like Sanders and Maria for Michael to realize he could be loved.  “It’s not you.”

“Maybe not, but that’s how I’ve lived my life.  Keeping anything I valued, anything that made me different hidden.  I’d like to think I would have learned to share those parts of me with you, but I don’t know how long it would have taken.  It’s comforting to realize you know most of my secrets, and you haven’t run away.  I’ve always been too afraid of letting someone know me to have a relationship.  But I’m not afraid to be with you.”

Michael lets out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding.  He was prepared for anger, for Alex to say the betrayal was too big to come back from.  Alex’s acceptance feels unearned, but Michael is grateful they still have a chance.

Because Alex still looks nervous and uncertain, Michael squeezes his hand and leans forward for a kiss.  Alex meets his lips eagerly, his free hand coming up to tangle in Michael’s hair.  It’s easy to get lost in the kiss, to push forward for more.  But Alex pulls back, stroking Michael’s hair a few times before dropping his hand.

“You’re not the only one with an advantage,” Alex says.  When Michael just looks at him, he continues.  “Have you ever told anyone that you are an alien?”

“No,”  Michael’s blood runs cold just thinking about it.  It’s the number one rule drilled into his head-by Max, by his own fear of the consequences-no one can know.  No matter how much he’d cared about Maria, he never considered telling her, never wanted to.

“I didn’t think so.  And you didn’t choose to tell me either.  And I can tell you again and again that you can trust me with this secret, that I won’t use it against you, but you are the one who has to be willing to believe me.”

Michael should be scared, but he’s not.  Alex has known for over a decade.  If Alex wanted to turn him in or hurt him, he’d had years to do it.  But that brings up other questions.  “Is that why you’re with me?”

“I don’t have ‘fuck an alien’ on my bucket list if that is what you are asking.”  They both laugh.  

“I don’t know what I’m asking,” Michael admits.  “I’ve never been with anyone who knows what I am so I guess I’m wondering how it affects your feelings for me.”

“I don’t think it does.  I won’t say it doesn’t matter because it’s part of who you are, and you matter.  You being an alien isn’t something we can just ignore, but it’s not what I think of first when I think of you.  It matters in that it’s one of the things that makes you the man I’m attracted to, the man I’m falling in love with.”

“I like the sound of that,” Michael admits.  “You falling in love with me.”

This time it’s Alex who makes the first move, pulling Michael into the circle of his arms.  He kisses Michael’s forehead and wraps his arm around him.  Michael turns to nuzzle into his neck then surprises them both by yawning.

“Sorry,” Michael apologizes and rubs his eyes.  “Now what?”

Alex looks at the table where their untouched beers are sweating into the coasters beneath them.  “How about we get some fresh beers and sit by the firepit you built me.  We can forget all this serious stuff for the night and talk about normal things.”

“Normal things?”  Michael asks with a laugh.

“I don’t know,” Alex shrugs.  “Music, movies, work.  I’m sure you have a million questions about what I told you, and I have questions to, but”

“We aren’t going to solve the problem of your father or how whatever Liz and Kyle might know complicates that in one night,” Michael finishes.

“And we deserve a night to be together without secrets or hidden agendas.  To start figuring out who we are together,” Alex adds.

“That sounds nice,” Michael admits.  “But I don’t know how much I have in me.”  He yawns again.

“So we’ll talk for a bit then see if that fancy shower you built me really is big enough for two, and you can stay here if you want.”

Michael definitely wants, and the way he kisses Alex leaves no doubt to his interest.  “And tomorrow?” he asks almost breathlessly once the kiss ends.

“Tomorrow, we figure out how to destroy my father,” Alex holds out his hand, “together.”

Michael laces their fingers together.  “Together sounds perfect.”

[a-crumb-of-whump]

Ollie & Coco Drabble: Voices

Masterlist

Content: Intrusive thoughts, restraints (consensual), non-human whumpee, multiple whumpees, recovery.

Coco and Ollie are not in a romantic relationship of any kind. Ollie is aro/ace and coco is aro/demi:)

-

Coco was not having a particularly good day today. Ollie found it hard to tell most days, partly due to his inability to pick up on others’ emotional states and partly due to Coco’s habit of putting on a metaphorical mask to avoid showing anyone that it was upset, but he could see it very clearly today. It hadn’t moved from Its spot on the couch in hours and always seemed to have Its head tucked between Its legs in a way that covered Its pointed ears. It also hadn’t spoken a word in a while, which only catered to his worry. As much as he struggled with the incessant talking at times, complete silence was so much worse. 

It was well into the afternoon when Ollie finally decided to approach it. He came with a peace offering; a plate of sweet cookies and some mini chocolate bars set on the side, among some fruits and other things he knew it loved. He gently set it down on the coffee table, attempting to muffle the noise of the plate hitting the glass as much as possible, before settling down on the couch with it. 

“Coco?” he whispered as he gently drew Its hands away from Its head. “You are quiet today. I miss you.” 

Much to his relief, Coco tilted Its face to the side and offered a weary smile that didn’t reach Its eyes. “Coco misses Ollie, too,” it finally spoke, fingers curling around Ollie’s slightly larger hand as it struggled to find the energy to sit up. “The… the voices in Coco’s head - they’re very loud today. It tried to make them go away but they just got angrier.” 

Ollie’s heart sank as he wrapped his free arm around Its waist. He brought it a little closer and pressed a light kiss to Its forehead in what he assumed would be a fruitless attempt to soothe the voices himself. 

“What are they saying to you today?” 

It squeezed him tight, seemingly hesitating for a moment before answering the question. “They want it to do bad things,” it admitted into his chest. He could hear Its voice trembling as it struggled to hold the tears back. “To- to Ollie and itself. Coco is scared to move because it might hurt someone if it does.” 

“I will not let you hurt anyone,” Ollie responded in a hushed voice. Despite the fact that it was just them in the room - hell, in the entire house -, there was always that lingering feeling that they were being watched. “We… we have done this before, right? When they were really, really bad and you asked me to put you in restraints for the day. I did not like that at all, but it made you feel safer.” 

Though he did not get a verbal response, Coco gave him a small nod to indicate that it remembered. 

“We sat in a dark room together and you put your head on my chest so you could hear me purr. You said that it was a nice distraction from everything going on in your head. We can do that again, if you are scared…” 

He’d half expected Coco to decline the offer. The only time they’d ever tried it was almost a year ago now. So long ago that Ollie wasn’t even sure he knew where Alex’s old cuffs were anymore. He was ashamed enough as it was to admit that he still had them in the first place, along with quite a few other things of hers that he absolutely should have thrown out months ago. 

He was just scared. Scared that if he threw them out, they’d fall into the hands of someone else like Alex. Someone who could use them to make another person’s life miserable. At least while they were here, he knew they were safe and could be used for something better. 

“Coco wants to do that again,” it whispered, pulling away from Ollie’s embrace to look him in the eye. “Can it just wear the cuffs on Its wrists this time? Please?” 

Ollie didn’t hesitate. “We can do anything you want. I just want you to feel safe. I will go get the cuffs if you turn off the lights in the living room?” 

As soon as he got a nod, Ollie stood up and made his way down to their bedroom, right at the end of the little hall. It was a few degrees cooler inside and Ollie found himself shivering a little as he stepped inside. He’d have to remember to turn the bed warmer on before they went to bed if either of them wanted a good night’s sleep. 

The box that held all of Alex’s old stuff hadn’t been touched in months. It was tucked neatly under their bed, slowly collecting dust as each day passed. He knew that sometimes Coco pulled everything out to give it a clean, though it was secretive about when it did so. He supposed the box and all Its contents would be with them until Coco was ready to give it up, too. The choice wasn’t just in his hands, however much that annoyed him. 

The lights were already off when Ollie finally returned to the living room with the cuffs and their bedroom blanket. It took a moment for his eyes to adjust to the sudden darkness after coming from his room, but they were eventually able to make out Coco’s small figure wedged into the corner of the couch, already back to Its original position.

“I brought this for us to be under,” he murmured as he set it down across the back of the furniture. It didn’t come as a surprise to see Coco immediately pull it close, letting out a small, somewhat happy noise. “I could also put on a movie for us to watch if my purring isn’t enough.”

The creature shook Its head, already reaching out for him with outstretched fingers. “You are enough.” 

“Okay.” 

It felt unusual, securing the handcuffs on another person. He’d done his best to make them as comfortable as possible, even going so far as to put a layer of padding on the metal so they didn’t cause any injuries. It was just some pieces of thick cloth wrapped around the two circular pieces of metal, but Coco seemed happy enough with what he’d done. 

Once they were on, he pulled the coffee table a little closer to allow better access to the food and finally sprawled himself out across the couch, a pillow beneath his head and under his back for support. 

He offered Coco a small smile, wasting no time wrapping his arms around Its smaller frame when it collapsed on top of him with the blanket around Its shoulders. It was surprisingly comfortable. At least, compared to where they sat last time, which was on the floor. 

Then, with Coco’s ear resting eagerly against his chest, he finally allowed himself to quietly purr. 

“It’s working,” Coco whispered after a few minutes spent in silence. Ollie could feel the muscles resting beneath his hands begin to relax and the rhythm of Its breathing start to morph into something more calm. He heard an involuntary little sigh of relief escape his lips at the confirmation. “The voices are so mean… but Ollie makes them go away, somehow. You are Coco’s medicine.” 

Ollie gently massaged the space between Its shoulder blades, letting the side of his face come to rest on Coco’s head as it listened to the deep rumble coming from within him. He liked that it could find comfort in him. He liked that very much.

And the handcuffs no doubt helped, though Ollie hated seeing such cruel things on someone he cared for so deeply. He just had to remind himself that he wasn’t doing this against Coco’s will. It felt safer with them on. It was a safety measure. Nothing more. 

“Tell me when you would like these to be taken off,” he whispered against Coco’s head, using his pointer finger to hook beneath the chain that held the two cuffs together. “Are they comfortable?” 

The creature nodded, absentmindedly smiling as it tugged on the restraints. “Uh huh. No pain…” 

Ollie sighed. He hoped that one day they wouldn’t need the cuffs at all, but for now, this was the best he could do. 

So he allowed himself to forget about them for the time being, and instead took to running his fingers through Coco’s hair, occasionally massaging Its scalp just to hear the delighted little noises that escaped the back of Its throat. 

It is happy, he thought to himself, that small smile coming back to his face as he stared up at the ceiling. That is all that matters.

-

Taglist: @devourerofcheesecake @hollowgast1 @mazeish

Ask to be added or taken off <3

[oddballwriter]

MH boys with a Bookworm S/O

Warnings: None that I know of

Author’s Snip: I myself am no book worm, but I would like to get into the habit of reading more. Also, I’m kinda doing this to take my mind off an assignment that I need to do for one of my classes that involves a book I needed to read. Also, also, I wanted to write something with the Marble Hornets guys because no one ever requests them. 

Notes: I’ve said it before, don’t be shy to request things, all I ask is that you read my rules and boundaries first. You guys have the ability to be anonymous if you that’s what scares you. I do kind of really like to write for requests so seeing something come in my inbox makes me real happy!

I’ll shut up now. Enjoy!

꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦

Alex

He enjoys reading a book every once in a while

He reads more classic types of books, the ones that everyone usually say when you ask what their favorite book is

You burn through a lot of books and you’re probably reading a new book almost every week

When you two hang out and take about your latest interests and fixations, it’s obvious that the book you’re currently reading will come up

Tell him all about it 

He loves to hear you ramble about stuff you like 

He’ll ask you small questions to have the conversation be less one sided like-

“If someone made this book into a movie would you be excited?”

“Do you like where the story is going?”

“Did you like the ending? You don’t seem like you did.”

He notices things like that has question

He knows if you like a story or not based off how you talk about it

He borrows a book from you every once in a while if he has nothing else to occupy himself with or if he feels like reading

Always asks you which ones from your collection you recommend for him

He always jokes that once he becomes an official director that he’ll turn one of you favorite books into a movie and you can help him direct it

Brian

He doesn’t really seem like he read for fun himself

But he does seem like he loves hearing you talk about the stories you’ve read and or are reading

He finds it funny whenever he asks about the book he last remembered you reading from like, a week ago

“Hey, how’s that book you were reading going?”

“Oh that? I finished that already. I’m reading something new.”

Like I said, he’s not one to read for fun, but he would never shut up down for talking about the latest book that you’re reading 

He honestly jokes that he doesn’t need to read the book because you talk about it and it’s entire story 

He does however feel a bit flustered whenever you recommend a book to him for two reasons

One is that you’ve come to know him and his likes enough that you might be able to find something of yours that he might like

And the second is because of the fact that he doesn’t like reading as a hobby so he feels a bit pressured by himself to try to read it since you like he’d like it and it would be rude if he didn’t at least try

I don’t know why but I feel like since you most likely have a bunch of books and he borrows one, he jokingly says he’s renting a book from a library and librarian 

Tim

He also doesn’t read much if at all

I also feel like he’s also not much into book talk either

He’ll still let you talk about whatever book your reading but he’ll just sit there and listen

It’s not that he doesn’t care, it’s just that he doesn’t really have anything to add onto it so he’ll just listen to you talk 

I do feel like your liking to reading will rub off on him a little bit and he’d be interested in reading a book you have 

He always asks if he can have one

Like there’s a chance in hell you’re gonna say no

Once you let him have/borrow it, you’d most likely let him know that he can have it as long as he wants and to take his time with it 

He promises to take good care of it... and he does

Like... he’s extremely gentle with it and makes sure that he doesn’t lose it at all

Jay

Jay read as a kid

He has those vibes

He used to read a lot as a kid but for some reason stopped when he got older 

He feels like you give him that fresh feeling and drive to want to start reading again 

For a while at the beginning, he just talks about the books he used to read and asks if you read them too when you were younger 

He defiantly uses you and your collection as a way to get back into the flow of reading again

He does that since he won’t have to buy a bunch of books and also because you’ve already read them so maybe once he’s done with it you can talk about it with him

He might not become a new week new book person but he still feels happy about it because it taps into how it made him feel when he was younger and makes him feel connected and bonded with you now

[cerosin-bis]

Can i ask what are your favorite operators from both 2019MW and MWII? Both campaign and MP is fine :D

also just a quick question, are the MP ops related to campaign story anyway or are they just there for MP?

Of course! in MW19 mp oh boy help I love them ALL. If I had to choose I'd say Krueger, Nikto, Rodion, Golem, Syd, Azur and Yegor. In MWII mp so far my faves are König, Nova, Aksel, and the Kortac milsim (yes, the default soldier!). From the games' campaigns, if I had to pick one, Gaz stands out the most to me. Special mention to Farah and Alex who are very lovable characters, and in MWII I absolutely love how they wrote Ghost, it's exactly how I imagined him - effortlessly funny and w a very dry sense of humour lol.

As for the multiplayer/campaign connections - OK so this is a tricky subject LOL I'll try my best to be as concise as possible:

In MW19, the multiplayer narrative is linked to the campaign: after the events of the campaign, the terrorist org you fought against invades a fictional country called Kastovia, which leads to the creation of a temporary military alliance in late 2019. A few months later (March 2020), with the events of Warzone, the Armistice splits into two opposite factions that you play with in mp: Coalition and Allegiance. The mp ops are somewhat part of this story because they are part of these two alliances' sub-factions: for example the Chimera faction is led by Nikolai (yes, the Nikolai from the campaign!) and consists of Krueger, Yegor, Syd, Farah & Iskra; and all of them have a line of bio about meeting Nikolai. You even briefly see Yegor in the campaign. Nikolai's Chimera faction is part of the Allegiance faction (led by Kamarov - you also see him in the campaign) and you hear both Nikolai and Kamarov as announcers when you play multiplayer. So yeah. The narrative is a bit loose (bc technically Nikolai & Kamarov, who are both Price's buddies, fight against Price's and Laswell's teams so??) but it's still there.

In MWII, there is virtually no multiplayer narrative. Frankly it doesn't make any sense, the two factions (SpecGru and KorTac) are just a weird melting pot of PMCs and we don't exactly know who or why they fight each other, let alone why the hell is the SAS/TF141 part of a PMC org - and the characters have no connection between them or extra lore like it was the case in MW19. They just exist individually and are part of two teams you don't really know the purpose or origin of. If you ask me it's quite lacking in that aspect lol 🥲

I hope I could make any sense of it! I know it can be a bit confusing.