#which btw i read and did not like

[nadvs]

out of bounds (part one)

pairing zach maclaren and soccerplayer! female reader

rating mature 18+ for smut

summary zach has never been the type to rebel, but when he meets you at a soccer camp where you’re both working as counselors, which has a strict policy against dating between staff, he’s tempted to break the rules for the first time.

note i know most of my readers follow me for rafe fics so i hope y’all can bear with me indulging in a fluffy and angsty (and eventually spicy) summer romance with the sunshine character that is zach 🙂‍↕️ all my love to @juniebugg who inspired me to write about him ilysm 💘

» masterlist

Once you’re finally sitting down in the main lodge, a massive wooden cabin nestled in the center of the campground, you feel like you can take your first real breath since you arrived.

The morning was chaos. You made it to check-in just in time and met your cabin-mate Ami, who you learned is also new to the job.

Then, you quickly changed into your new bright orange staff t-shirt, which is so bright orange that it hurts to look at, and chatted with her as you rushed over for orientation.

Now, you’re settled on one of twelve wooden chairs facing the grand fireplace, set in front of floor-to-ceiling windows, which boast a cobalt blue lake under a cloudless sky.

Campers are set to arrive tomorrow morning and today is dedicated to preparation. You’ve already done countless training modules online before arriving, so today will be all about learning what’s left.

You hope you get a chance to explore the place before it starts teeming with preteens, because the photos on the camp website don’t do the grounds justice.

Your interviews were over video call and today is the first time you’re seeing the stunning campground in person. It’s stretched out on a wide expanse of greener-than-green pine trees, rustic buildings, and pristine soccer fields.

This job is your best case scenario for the summer. You can’t wait to spend seven weeks in one of the prettiest places you’ve ever seen and gain confidence in your athletic skills while coaching kids in your favorite sport.

As a center back on your college’s girls’ soccer team, you feel your best when you’re out on the pitch, but the pressure of the past school year was hard to navigate. You hope that teaching kids excited about soccer will remind you of why you like it so much.

As Zach sits in the front row, he notices the smell of this place never changes. It’s woodsy and brisk. It smells like comfort. But he’s pretty sure he’s biased. Camp Summit is sort of a haven to him and has been since he was a kid.

The chatter in the lodge has grown louder as more and more counselors settle into their seats, but once the camp directors walk up to the front, the noise wavers.

Tom and Ruby offer a kind welcome and then, like they do every year, quickly jump into training.

After two hours of going over the how-to’s on welcoming campers, facilitating activities, walkie-talkie etiquitte, and establishing rules, they announce that everyone can head to the dining hall for lunch.

“We won’t force you through any awkward icebreakers,” Tom says to the group, “so, we encourage you to get to know each other over lunch. We have a good mix of vets and newbies this year. We want you to be friends with your coworkers. But before you go…”

He looks over the room.

“We should mention,” the director continues, “that we have a strict policy against anything more. It can get unprofessional and inappropriate when counselors date each other.”

“Is that legal?” Ami whispers to you. “They can’t, like fire us for that, right?”

“You like someone already?” you amusedly ask your new friend.

“I might,” she says with a smile, her eyes on a dark-haired guy sitting ahead of you. You quietly laugh, glad you’re already so comfortable with the girl you’ll be bunking with.

“Aren’t you guys married to each other?” a girl behind you calls out.

The way that Tom and Ruby laugh tells you that they are, and that the counselor who shouted that must be a vet, already familiar enough with them to make comments like that.

“Yeah, but directors can do whatever they want,” Ruby jokes with a lighthearted shrug. You look down at their hands to see wedding rings. “In all seriousness, we hate having to enforce it, but please, no dating.”

Once counselors slowly rise out of their seats to go to lunch, your eyes land on a tall, messy-haired stranger standing at the front, who starts a conversation with the directors.

Maybe you shouldn’t tease your cabin-mate, because when you see his charming smile, you think you might have a crush of your own.

Tables are arranged in a neat grid in the dining hall, with a big buffet table prepared at the far wall.

You line up, noticing Ami a few people ahead, already striking conversation with the guy she pointed out to you.

You slowly inch forward with the line as counselors start to load their plates. You realize just how many people were in front of you when you get to the table and see one fork left.

You pick it up and turn to see only one person behind you. It’s the guy you noticed back at the lodge. His blue eyes sweep over your face. He’s even cuter up close.

“There’s only one left,” you say, holding out the fork with a small frown.

Zach stills when you look at him. You’re so pretty that it’s like he’s buffering. That’s the only way he can think to describe it.

You’re in the same orange shirt every other counselor is wearing and such a harsh color shouldn’t look this good on anyone, but it does on you. He reads your name-tag.

And then he realizes you said something. He completely missed it because he was too busy staring.

“What?” he asks.

Your eyes flit down to his name-tag hanging on his lanyard. Zach, in black marker, punctuated with a smiley face. His tag is worn and scratched up, a hard contrast to how new and shiny yours is.

“There’s only one fork left,” you clarify, a soft laugh in your tone. He looks dazed, a gentle crease between his brows, almost like he wasn’t expecting to see you even though you were standing directly ahead of him.

“Oh,” he says. He looks past you to the table, his lips screwing up. “It’s cool. You can have it.”

Zach gazes at you again, a smile on his face now that he’s feeling a bit more grounded.

“I’ll find one. I…” He crosses his arms, feigning pompousness. “I have connections around here.”

“Yeah?” you play along.

“Oh, yeah. I was a camper until I aged out,” Zach tells you. “And I’ve been working here since I was 16, so I have friends in high places.”

You laugh again. That explains why he seemed so comfortable with the directors back at the lodge. He’s clearly been here for quite a few summers.

“I can tell you’ve been here a while by the state of that name-tag,” you tease. He looks down to tilt up the worn out plastic rectangle hanging over his stomach, his bottom lip jutting out.

“Poke fun all you want, but you don’t know how impressive it is that I never lost this,” Zach replies. “Name-tags go missing all the time. I bet you’ll lose yours.”

“I thought staff were supposed to be friends,” you say. “You’re already betting against me?”

“You want some advice?” He leans just a little closer, his tone fake-serious. “It’s actually very cutthroat here.”

“So, the be friends with your coworkers stuff, that was all talk?” you say with a gasp, mirroring his playfulness.

“All talk,” he echoes with a smirk.

“Wow,” you half-whisper. “Thanks for the advice.”

You share another smile with him, already sure your crush on him isn’t going away. He’s friendly and kind of goofy and probably has all the girls after him. You wonder how seriously he takes the no dating rule.

Then, you turn back towards the table, surprised at how quickly your mind is running away from you.

After you load your plate with food, Ami calls you over to a table with a few other counselors. You get to know a decent amount of other staff, including Malcolm, the guy your cabin-mate is openly flirting with. He seems to be just as into her.

It’s a long afternoon of training and once you step out of the lodge, you feel like you can breathe again. It was a lot of information at once and the thought of wrangling nine campers on your own feels a bit overwhelming.

But at least for every activity for the first two weeks, newbies will be paired with vets. That gives you some relief.

The sounds of birds chirping and wind blowing through the trees fill your ears as you walk towards the staff cabins hidden behind the dining hall. Your shoes dig into the dirt and you breathe in the smell of pine and earth, feeling a sense of peace settle into the bones.

Despite the tinges of anxiety, you feel grounded here, like you’re right where you’re supposed to be.

As you finish unpacking with Ami, a coworker comes by to tell you that the counselors are going to have a bonfire after sunset. You set up your room and both head towards the lake once the sky starts darkening.

Zach is arranging logs in the fire-pit, kneeling on the ground while Malcolm leans close by. No other counselors have joined yet, and he’s glad because it’s taking embarrassingly long to set up the fire.

“Just let me know when you need the lighter,” Malcolm says.

”I could use some help on lining the kindling up,” Zach tells him.

“I think you’re doing great on your own.”

Zach snorts a chuckle. His cabin-mate and best friend of two years always tries to get away with doing the least amount of work.

“Is this the party?” Ami calls.

Zach turns to see you walking towards the pit. It gives him a chance to drink you in completely, the sight of your figure making his cheeks burn.

“Just getting it started,” Malcolm says. “This place would fall apart without us.”

You and Ami chuckle, settling on one of the logs.

“Us? It looks like Zach’s the only one doing any work,” you say.

“Thank you!” he says with a sarcastic sigh, looking up to smile at you. Your gazes hold a bit longer than they need to.

“Want any help?” you ask.

“All good,” he says. “I’m used to carrying the team.”

“Cold,” Malcolm says. “Strikers and their egos.”

“You’re a striker?” you ask Zach. It tracks. Strikers tend to be on the taller side, and you practically had to crane your neck to meet his eyes when you spoke to him before lunch.

“Yeah, you?” Zach asks.

“Center back,” you reply.

“Most important position,” Malcolm adds.

“Jeez, I wonder what you are,” Ami says with a laugh. “What was that you said about egos?”

The fire starts to slowly blaze and Zach stands up, exhales tiredly and scratches his forehead. It causes his shirt to ride up and expose an inch of his stomach.

Even under the dark blue sky, the flames only offering dull, flickering light, you can’t help but notice the v lines carved into his skin.

You look away. You feel like you’re practically thirsting over him at this point. You’re convinced that the fact that fraternizing between staff is forbidden is what’s making you even more tempted to stare at him.

The four of you continue to make small-talk as more counselors start to join. You learn that Zach and Malcolm share a cabin and that they play together on their college’s team, a school only an hour away from yours.

You also notice Malcolm jokingly calls Zach a nepo baby at one point, but before you can ask why, the conversation stirs in a different direction.

Soon after, a few counselors rough-house dangerously close to the fire. It’s only for a moment, but Zach perks up.

“Be careful around there, alright?” Zach says.

“Relax, dad,” one of the vets says. “We will.”

This is the only place in the world where people tell Zach to relax. He feels a sense of responsibility here. He’s sort of an unofficial babysitter, keeping everyone in check.

You notice his dimples dip into his cheeks. He’s obviously used to being teased for being the dad of the group.

You find it a good time to privately ask him about his other nickname, the staff chatter and wood crackling loud enough so only he can hear you.

“Why’d Malcolm call you a nepo baby?” you ask.

“Oh,” Zach says with a chuckle. “Ruby and Tom are my aunt and uncle. I’m not really a nepo baby, though. I don’t get any special privileges. The opposite, actually.”

“Opposite?” you ask, amused.

“They feel way more comfortable getting mad at me than any of the other staff,” he admits lightheartedly.

“Who would get mad at you?” you joke.

“I know, right? I’m adorable.”

It’s way too easy to flirt with him. This is going to be hard.

As the night goes on, you notice Ami and Malcolm slowly drift closer towards each other, laughing and talking. Eventually, they rush away into the dark.

Admittedly, the thought of sneaking off in the night with a cute guy is kind of exciting. You look over to see Zach noticed them leave, too.

“I think our cabin-mates are about to hook up,” you say quietly.

“On the first night, too.” He shakes his head, pretending to be disappointed. “It happens every year.”

“Do they actually fire people for dating?”

“I’ve seen them get close,” Zach says. “But people hide it well for the most part. Honestly, I think most do it just because it’s against the rules.”

“That’s exactly what I was thinking,” you say with a laugh. “It’s the whole forbidden part of it. Tell people they’re not allowed to do something, and guess what they want to do?”

“Something,” he says, earning another laugh from you.

You wonder if he ever has broken this particular rule, but it’d be too forward to ask.

“I wouldn’t risk it,” he offers, looking at the fire. You’re pretty sure he’s just giving you advice, but you take it as an opening, the curiosity killing you.

“So, you never have?” you ask.

“Nope.”

Over his many summers working here, Zach’s had crushes on other counselors, and he definitely has one on you, but a fling isn’t worth losing his job and letting down his family.

He owes a lot to his aunt and uncle. He wouldn’t disrespect their rules, no matter how pretty the new girl is.

When he looks over at you again, at the way the flames are casting shadows over your features, he corrects himself. Pretty is an understatement; beautiful is more fitting.

He almost suggests you don’t take the risk of dating either, but it’d be purely selfish. He doesn’t like the idea of seeing you in a summer romance with another guy.

And he feels insane for already feeling hypothetical jealousy, but he’s never clicked with a girl this quickly before. You’re sweet and interesting and you get his humor, and he feels like he couldn’t not like you if he tried.

“So, what brought you here?” he asks.

“Interview answer or real answer?”

“Real answer,” he says with a smile. “Your secret’s safe with me.”

“Playing at the college level is a lot more pressure than I expected,” you admit. “I want the experience and obviously the pay with this job, but mostly, I just want to be reminded of why I like soccer so much. Honestly, I lost my confidence in my skills this past year and I’d like to get it back.”

You’re surprised at how open you’re being, but something about him makes you want to be. He gives you a sense of safety. You can tell he’s kind-hearted.

“One of the best parts of working here is that you get enough downtime to practice,” he tells you. “I’d be happy to help you on your defense if you want.”

Your stomach numbs imagining it. It’s such a sweet gesture, especially because you’d just learned that he’s on a full-ride athletic scholarship. You know he’s good.

“Thank you,” you say. “I’ll take you up on that.”

“If you’re looking for a reminder of why you like soccer, you came to the right camp,” he replies, his smile bright and sincere.

“You really like it here, huh?” you ask, kind of in awe of him.

“I owe a lot to this place,” he says.

You make a note to yourself to ask him to elaborate on that later, as another counselor takes his attention with a question about tomorrow before you can reply.

You look back at the fire and you promise yourself that you’ll just be Zach’s coworker. At most, his friend.

You won’t risk getting even close to dating. You don’t want to lose your job. And you certainly don’t want Zach to lose his, especially because it seems important to him to follow the rules.

Besides, maybe he has a girlfriend already. You can’t imagine a guy like him being single. And maybe he’s not even into you like that. He could just be very friendly.

As the fire dwindles and counselors start to retire to their cabins, Zach leaves and returns with a bucket of water to extinguish the remaining flames.

You’re not sure why, but watching him be so hands-on with no expectations to be thanked for it makes you like him even more.

“Which cabin are you in?” he asks you, looking over his shoulder. You hope he didn’t catch you staring.

“Four,” you answer.

“We’re neighbors,” he says. “I’m in five. I can walk you back, newbie.”

There’s a chance he’s just being nice, but even though it’s against the rules, you hope it’s more.

You check your phone to see it’s just past ten o’clock. The moonlight is bright as you and Zach walk towards the staff cabins.

You’re chatting about how beautiful the campground is and he grins as he looks down at his feet. He loves this place and hearing someone else appreciate it feels nice.

When he looks up, he stops in his tracks. You follow his eye-line. There’s a shirt hanging on his cabin’s doorknob.

“Oh, man,” he whispers.

“Does the shirt on the knob mean what I think it means?” you ask.

“If you think it means walking in there would make me see something I can’t ever unsee, you’re right,” Zach answers.

You chuckle. You’re definitely going to ask Ami about the details of her hook-up with Malcolm later. And you feel an obligation to also remind her that the no-dating rule is serious.

“I’ll give them ten minutes, then I’m knocking,” he says. “You don’t have to wait with me.”

You know you should go to bed and get rested before the craziness of tomorrow. But being around Zach makes you not want to.

“I can keep you company,” you offer. “I’m pretty wired anyway.”

“Thanks,” he says with a sincere smile. It makes your heart flutter that he seems just as happy to spend more time with you.

“So, what’s there to do around here at ten o’clock?” you ask.

Zach rakes his hair back, gazing out at a soccer field in the distance as crickets loudly chirp around you.

“If you’re looking to burn energy, we can do some of that practice we were talking about,” he suggests. “Now’s as good a time as any.”

“You sure you’re not too tired?” you ask.

“Nah. Let’s go,” he says. “But be warned, when I coach, I’m ruthless.”

You laugh, already well aware of how far from the truth that must be.

“Consider me warned,” you joke. “Lead the way.”

(part two)

if you want notifications on when i post my fics, follow @xorafe-library and turn on notifications 💘

[forgettable-au]

FORGETTABLE-AU (Page 61-64)

* I-I don't think we were talking about the same thing...

[BEGINNING] [PREVIOUS] [CONTINUE]

[inspisart]

dick took the news that a strange thirteen year old broke into his apartment while he was away at the circus pretty well, I gotta say

[deoidesign]

Ray of sunshine

(pre-launch page for their comic)

[andro-dino]

.human flippy design. nobody look at me.

[sergle]

man, you know, nobody asked me, but I have such conflicting opinions on some of the fat falin art, where on one hand: it's always nice to see A Fat Body in fanart anywhere + it's being done in positive ways, for funsies and on the other hand, there is something so familiar about how you are automatically The Fat One if you are a woman simply standing next to a more petite woman, bc I've had a 0% hitrate in seeing people change Marcille's body type and keep Falin's, or change both of them. it's just Falin

[elizmanderson]

can I just. listen. *cups your face in my hands* l i s t e n go read A Botanical Daughter. it's ADHD x autistic gay couple. it's our marriage is kinda failing but surely having a baby will fix everything. it's let's frankenstein the baby out of plants and fungi. shit fuck bad idea abort abort

it's frankenstein for the frankenstein haters aka me aka you if you like me appreciate the objective value of frankenstein but spend the whole book in a rage bc you want to punch victor in the face constantly. listen. you will only want to punch gregor in the face sometimes. and you will hardly want to punch simon in the face at all. and jenny is a gem who in my heart is transplanted into the original and yelling at victor on my behalf about how his creation is a person

also Noah Medlock brilliantly managed to work "shit-eating grin" into the book in a manner appropriate to both the voice and time period and a day after finishing the book I'm still both in awe and cackling over it 10/10 incredible no notes

[choccy-milky]

eloise for my fellow gremlin girlie @myokk!! so happy to have your beautiful traditional art in this fandom and that i got to see clora in it as well 💖😭😭and since it was your art of clora that inspired me to do the HL charas in ghibli style, ofc i had to give eloise the same treatment 🥰 (and ive discovered that drawing fat puffy braids in ghibli style is SOOO satisfying, highly recommend😋👌👌)

[agentc0rn]

Oh? Looks like Ogerpon wants to give you a flower! Will you accept?

>Yes

>No (you'd better not click this)

[dragondawdles]

art about art about art

[wildstar25]

While it goes fairly similarly to how it would in game, there's a lot of backstory related nuance that kinda shifts the entire vibe of their reunion... this is fairly long so im putting it under a read more

When the Exarch told Arsay her next destination would have her hopefully meeting with Y'shtola, Arsay was beyond excited. After the twins, Y'shtola was the next person on Arsay's list that she really, really wanted to see. She rode that enthusiasm through the entire trip into the Great Woods. Not even Emet-Selch's pompous attitude and unwanted presence could cut through Arsay's cheer. Which was likely for the best, had she not have her best friend to look forward to she'd likely have wanted to rip the ascians head off rather than entertain conversation with him.

They found themselves surrounded. Arsay's humour was NOT appreciated by Thancred 🙄. Emet made a show about leaving them to their fate. And then she heard it, the voice Arsay had been wanting to hear all day, though called by a name not her own.

It took a moment for Arsay to process it all: The new look, the fact that all these people seemed to be at her command, her intense hostility... Still, it was Y'shtola! Y'shtola through and through! Arsay's heart nearly jumped into her throat once her brain caught up to her other senses.

(I love how from far away the pixels make it look like Arsay had a big open mouth smile. She was so excited to see her friend! Were she not at multiple arrow/magic staff point she'd be running up to give Y'shtola a hug.)

Arsay thought perhaps this was a prank? A little unlike Y'shtola but then again she did have a darker sense of humour. Plus Y'shtola knows Arsay likes a good gag now and again so maybe...? But sadly Y'shtola again seriously insisted they were sin eaters so that couldn't be the case. Arsay was at a lost for words- a rarity for her.

The mere suggestion that Y'shtola could have forgotten Arsay... her heart deflated like a balloon, all the joy it once held rushed out in an instance. Personally I think Urianger was covering his ass here trying to mask his knowledge of the light corruption. Still there was no way he knew just how devastating his words were to Arsay.

No, Urianger couldn't have known that Arsay had spent much of her life believing herself to have been forgotten by her parents as they left her in the south seas for greater adventures. That they wrote her but a single missive, where in which they promised to write more. He couldn't have know how, when no other letter arrived for her, she took it as a sign of being unwanted; not worth keeping their word for. He wouldn't have known much of what Arsay does, she does in hopes to touch the life of another in such a way that they might dare think of her from time to time, even if only in passing. Urianger wouldn't have a single clue how a simple notion spoken in whisper could send Arsay down an immediate spiral.

Arsay stares at Y'shtola, hands held firm in the air, praying for Urianger to be proven wrong.

Once before has Arsay's soul been knocked clean of her body, and had it not been for the absence of said body in her immediate vision she would have sworn it had happened again. She felt numb. Any other word spoken after "The one I know not." was static to her. There was no rational thought happening behind those wide eyes. Not even a slim chance that Arsay could be considering that something was perhaps wrong with her. All she could think about was the immense and sudden heartbreak she was actively experiencing.

Meanwhile, Y'shtola struggled to come to terms with what she was hearing versus what she was seeing. Before her was a figure so immense of light aether, how could Urianger words possibly be true? She knew Arsay's aether. Such brilliance was not something she'd readily forget. In fact, she'd go as far as to say it's image plagued her mind despite her best wishes along with equally inconvenient and unsavoury thoughts. Y'shtola had been awaiting the day Arsay's aether came into view once more for gods know how long. Yet he insists that this unknown figure before her is that very same person; that this was her Warrior of Light. As much as she did not want to accept it what other rational explanation could there even be?

Y'shtola stood aback, her harsh tone wavered as she stammered in disbelief. Again she scrutinized the strange light infused aether. Though she could discern that it vaguely held the form of a person any potential detail was obscured by an intense glow that radiated from it's core. She supposed perhaps she could picture her memory of Arsay slotting into the blurry silhouette... oh by the twelve. A chill runs down her spine. Y'shtola has never been one to panic, yet if this is truly Arsay before her then that can only mean terrible, terrible things.

With the initial shock worn off things begun to come back into focus for Arsay including Y'shtola who's gaze was fixated on her, clamouring for answers. As if on cue her voice returned to her. Despite this not being the reunion Arsay had imagined, out came the words she would have said regardless.

Not a hint of resentment carried through her tone. If anything, she sounded as if she was amused by the situation. As much as it hurt to think that the person Arsay considered to be her best friend had forgotten the appearance of her aether (something she understood as being unique to her); Arsay couldn't help but feel like she should have anticipated it. Sure, it had only been a month for Arsay, but it was three years for Y'shtola. That's quite some time to be apart. More than enough for Arsay to no longer be relevant enough to be recalled from time to time in Y'shtola's daily life. The irony of it stung. Arsay had only just begun to believe she wasn't as forgettable, as insignificant, to others as she feared... Funny how things turn out. She felt foolish to have overestimated the depth of their friendship. Guilty too for burdening someone she cared for with her own lofty expectations. Arsay only had herself to blame for this outcome. One would think she'd learn her lesson by now. What a laugh. Compelled by this joke only she was privy to, a short chuckle escaped from her lonesome smile.

The familiar voice rang through her ears and stirred her heart. There was no denying it. Her friend was finally here ...And Y'shtola welcomed her with an ambush. Delightful. She breathed out a heavy sigh. This was not at all how Y'shtola had wanted their meeting to go but she'd not let herself be vexed by such things. She pushed the tinge of dissatisfaction to the back of her mind. Arsay of all people would understand the things one must do to protect others. This greeting would be water under the bridge to her in but a tic. What mattered most is that the Night's Blessed were no longer under any (immediate) perceived threat. Her dear friend's aether on the other hand... Her head began to swirl with questions. Questions surely the Warrior of Darkness could soon help her attain the answers for. The thought alone brought it's own sense of relief. A smile tugged at the corners of Y'shtola's lips. There was no denying how happy it made her knowing her wait was over.

The tension in the air settled along the fur on Arsay's tail. She gave Y'shtola nod of acceptance, mindlessly forgiving her when in truth the apology felt hollow to Arsay. It wasn't at all what she wanted to hear but it wasn't as if hearing anything else from Y'shtola would help ease her nerves. It is what it is. At the very least, she was happy that Y'shtola looked to be in good health. Best focus on that for now.

--

Arsay and the rest followed Y'shtola from a distance quietly through the woods. Even through the canopy strong light polluted the forest floor. It gave Arsay a headache, much like everywhere else she had been to on the First. She often relied on her headband to block out the worst of the sun's rays back home but it did nothing to defend her light soaking eyes from the ambient brightness. She had been getting used to it but for some completely and totally unknown reason it began to feel worse.

Now and again Arsay would spot Y'shtola looking back over her shoulder towards her. Each glance had Arsay suddenly anticipating, hoping, that Y'shtola was about to call her over, and when that did not happen it made Arsay like a fool all over again. Foolish, and then frustrated. A degree of frustration that could be easily alleviated were she allowed to wander off and drive her knives into whatever foul beast first crossed her path. Alas, Arsay had to stay with the pack and sit with her growing bad mood she was not supposed to have. Her cheeks began to feel weary from the smile she kept plastered on her face.

~

Y'shtola guided the scions along the path to Slitherbough at a steady pace. Though she maintained a lead on them by no means was she walking fast enough that Arsay couldn't catch up should she want to do so. That's what Y'shtola had come to expect from Arsay; if the opportunity presented itself, Arsay would not hesitate to encroach on Y'shtola's personal space. It was a habit Y'shtola was not all that fond of initially- it was overwhelming for someone who more often kept to herself- but in due time Y'shtola found herself yearning for Arsay's touch. A terrible yearning which only grew stronger in its absence. Though she tried with all her might not to, Y'shtola would quickly glance back at the group only to be disappointed that the insufferably bright glow of aether was just as far from her as it way before. For Arsay to be so unlike herself... perhaps it was not only her aether which has been afflicted. The thought gave Y'shtola pause, the roots of worry began to sprout within her.

She also had to admit there was the slim chance that being held at weapon point and accused of being a sin eater had upset Arsay. But, It could have been worse. At least Y'shtola didn't frame her for regicide. Y'shtola's brow furrowed. There was no way Arsay could actually be mad at her. Y'shtola has given her colder shoulders than that in the past and Arsay had brushed it off without issue. It had to be something else.

--

Be it her worry for Arsay or due to her general dismay of the earlier happenings that she could not seem to shake, Y'shtola was no longer in the mood to let sleeping dogs lie and Thancred had made the unfortunate decision of opening his mouth. She'd not been a fan of how he had been conducting himself to say the least. Nor was she willing to let his inability to move on rob a young girl of her autonomy. Tongue as sharp as ever, Y'shtola made her opinion clear and sent the man running with his tail between his legs. Minfillia too sulked out not long after.

~

Arsay, bearing witness to this, felt just awful for Minifilla (as she called her). The smile she had held onto dropped the instant she heard the cave doors close. While Arsay is usually in favour of Y'shtola's tenancy to speak her mind so openly, all the aggravation that had been stewing inside her had now suddenly come to a boil. She had to lash out. She wanted to be mad at Y'shtola, for anything, because Arsay still felt deep down like it wasn't right to hold her responsible for the thing she was actually upset about.

"Really, Y'shtola? You had to bring that up just now?" Arsay crossed her arms, unimpressed. "You're the last I'd consider to come to Thancred's defence." Y'shtola's eyes narrowed, "I am not indifferent to Thancred's troubles. Nevertheless, I will not apologize for holding him to a higher standard after all these years. He has ever been a man of considerable resolve, and that is what I will continue to expect." "Then I best warn you: expectations only lead to future disappointment." The accusatory tone in Arsay's voice made Y'shtola tail twitch. "Excuse me? Arsay, what has come over you? You've not at all been yourself. Pray tell, have you felt any considerable changes since defeating the light-" "Perhaps, Y'shtola, you should be more concerned with how you have changed." Arsay cuts her off with a hiss.

Silence. You could the tension in the air with a knife. Arsay turns on her heels, "I-." she stops herself when she heard the crack in her voice. With a click of her tongue she flees out through the cave doors as fast as she could.

Urianger, who had been a fly on the wall for their heated back and forth, clears his throat. "Should thine wish be to give chase, thou can entrust in me the beginning duty of reviewing the tablet." Y'shtola let out a sigh. "I realize I am not as I was on the Source, but I cannot say I regret the decisions that allowed me to come this far." She proclaims largely for her own sake before turning to Urianger. "Allow me a moment to settle this. I shall return shortly."

--

All of that finally leads into this scene which actually the first time I ever tried to pose and write a story type scene. So excuse the slight jank of it (and the fact that Arsay's character voice has absolutely shifted some since then. Also ignore the fact that Arsay is wearing the darklight bracers in that old pose. It was taken at a point before I was using mods and I was still figuring out Arsay's shadowbringer glam- they were a hold over from previous expansion's glams)

the director commentary for their make up is Y'shtola finally accepts that Arsay is mad at her but is still defending her actions because it was the right call at the time. Again she tries to explain that Arsay's aether is fucked up in a way only to be cut off by Arsay airing out one of her deepest insecurities- her begging for validation. It's only then that Y'shtola realizes what exactly Arsay is upset over- and that her friend had absolutely 0 clue as to the light corrupting her aether. In a moment of absolute kindness from Y'shtola: instead of explaining then and there of Arsay's suspected light poisoning, she tells Arsay exactly what she wants and needs to hear. (And its this act of kindness that later becomes the catalys for Arsay realizing how much she loves Y'shtola upon learning about the light corruption and putting two and two together that Y'shtola was way nicer to her then she could have been in that moment.)

This is like maybe the 1st time Arsay has a public-ish breakdown and it really is "out of character" for her. But I cannot stress enough how much this shit triggered her and how bad she is at handling negative emotions. Like she really has a problem of not letting herself feel bad about anything and all that pent up stress gets funnelled directly into fighting. Its super cool and normal if you think about it and totally healthy if you ask her. When she cant channel that rage through her knives it escapes other, less productive ways. She did immediately felt awful about snapping at Y'shtola. Even if she wanted to be mad at her it wasn't right and Arsay knew this. Literally hearing that Y'shtola cared about her and thought of her was all she needed to put herself back into order. Y'shtola, still worried about Arsay's aether, was more than willing to move past this awful reunion of theirs and continue on just as they had been back before she was sent to the first.

And from there everything is pretty much normal! They made up, Arsay caught up to Minifillia and Runar, Y'shtola went to work on the tablet, story stuff happens, Arsay has her oh moment, they get together and so on.

Thank you so much @darkmadorz for giving me the excuse to write about this!

[majimaisms]

About the Makoto/Majima ask: I agree almost 100% ... but i do think there is a chance she would leave her husband. Not because of any feelings of love but because she feels indebted to him. I kinda do see that if Majima would reveal who he is, to him there is a possibility that Makoto gets with him out of guilt, especially considering how she perceives him as lonely. She'd see his as returning his "kindness". Which makes any kind of relationship they could ever have feel tainted because Majima would be doing what Shimano suggested and take her as a prize for protecting her. And I think she is hung up on him in the sense that she's waiting for that, I think that's the subtext of the whole "wanting to thank him". Majima just tells her to let go of that, similar to Saejima telling him later that he won't kill him.

good lord thats bleak lmao. i dont know tbh, for that to be her idea of "thanking him", she would have to 1. believe majima *wants* that, which i don't think she has any reason to 2. see her autonomy and freedom as something she can sacrifice which goes against her whole arc in y0 and 3. not feel like her debt to majima was paid after the end of majima saga. but she's truly at peace by the end of that story, she *did* pay her debt to him by thanking him, so i really don't think there was anything more to it than that

if this is taking place in a "majima asks her to leave her husband to be with him instead to consider her debt paid" au of some kind (and i know that's not what you meant, i'm just. saying like as a thought exercise) then i think she would probably react similarly to the way she did here

i think she has way stronger boundaries than you're giving credit her for by the end of y0. would majima be *worried* that makoto feeling indebted to him might result in her leaving her husband if he were to reveal who he is....? i just dont see any evidence for that reading but feel free to hc what you want of course. i personally dont think majima's brain works that way, or that that is what the writers were going for fwiw

i think ultimately, this whole thing is about makoto's own sense of honor rather than anything she believes majima to be *expecting* from her. it's not about appeasing *him*, it's about feeling satisfied with her own actions, according to her own moral code. she has enough self-respect for this to be something she's doing for *herself* and not him

[akkivee]

so kuukou as a tengu and why it’s neat from a buddhism point lol

monks who practice shugendo, mountain asceticism, are called yamabushi!!!! for these monks, mountains are revered as gods and symbolic of the buddha and do all of their ascetic training in the mountains and practice worship using nature itself!!!!

when yamabushi monks begin their ascetic training, it’s their belief that they’re going thru a reincarnation. the yamabushi typically when training wear white for this reason; in jp, when you die, you’re dressed in white robes, but it’s also true that when you’re born, you’re swaddled in white clothing. that white is both purity and symbolic of the reincarnation you go thru starting your mountain training

some aspects of that mountain training are food and sleep deprivation. by pushing oneself to the limits of human life, it’s there humans find incredible power within themselves is the belief. once upon a time ago lol, many became shugendo practitioners to try to unlock supernatural abilities

for these monks, tengu, who are depicted protectors of buddhism, traverse the mountains with ease and come with supernatural powers, are kinda like the ideal beings for the yamabushi lol

and so lol!!!! you have kuukou!!!!! whose temple resides in the mountains!!!!!! practices his asceticism by depriving himself of food and sleep and meditates amongst nature!!!!! has been described as pure and sings of reincarnation!!!! he’s even supernaturally powerful!!!! and is doing his best to make buddhism thrive in new ways, thusly protecting his religion lol!!!!

kuukou is a tengu!!!!!!

[crunchybeards]

Whatever be free my scarabs.

Farmer Callum belongs to @oorangesoda

Farmer Beau belongs to @fuerrziah

Farmer Kendall belongs to @salt-n-salt

[aideneverybody]

Okay, screw it. I wrote an opinion essay for class, it’s an essay on Luka.

Disclaimer: this is my first real essay, and for whatever reason I’m putting it on this site (🫶), so don’t be mean please. also mentions of using chatgpt to summarize information, but! I only did it because my teacher said we should do so if we needed a quick summary. fuck ai on absolutely every other front. also, references are supposed to be imbedded links in the text, idk if that’ll appear or not. if it doesn’t and people wanna know what my sources are I can reblog with a list or smth.

Also, obviously spoilers for Alien Stage.

Without further ado, I suppose..

Why Luka (Alien Stage) is an Extremely Complex Case.

Do you ever have that one character that you know has done some messed up things, but you can’t help but love anyways? Yeah, I think we all do. Especially if they have reasons for it, and especially if those reasons are justifiable.

Like, for example, Luka from the webseries Alien Stage, a show about singing for your life against another person (if you’re a human, that is). Luka is a character with a terrible personality who has committed what should be unforgivable actions, from manipulating opponents with memories of their dead loved ones to allegedly killing his crush’s brother during an altercation as a teenager.

A lot of people, in the show and its fanbase, love him, and others hate him reasonably. No matter what your opinion is on him though, there’s a lot of complexities to take into account when it comes to Luka, like the environment and view he was raised in, the way humans are manufactured in the world of Alien Stage, and the ways surviving all of it can twist a character to become like Luka.

The environment we see the humans in Alien Stage raised in is hardly ideal for anybody other than maybe Truman Burbank, and the human-pets raised there. As a child, many children including Luka inhabited ANAKT Garden, a school of music created to teach human-pets how to sing.

The environment a child is raised in can affect their mental health greatly by changing brain structure and function, and that may have been the aliens’ idea, but… did they do it right, with what they were attempting to achieve?

According to a post regarding ANAKT Garden on the official Alien Stage Patreon, “The environment is modeled after Earth's nature because it is known to be the optimal setting for humans to produce the most beautiful voices. Everything in Anakt Garden is designed to keep pet humans in the best possible condition”, and according to the official artbook’s English translation, “[ANAKT Garden] was designed as an average value by synthesizing abstract visual data from human perception of 'heaven'. But it can never be said to be a perfect heaven because it was created without a complete understanding of human beings”. In simple terms: they failed, at least somewhat, to make an environment that made humans feel… well, human, or at least ever at peace. From the grass to the skyline, everything that surrounds the children at ANAKT Garden is fake, not to mention littered with cameras; and that’s not exactly good for mental health.

However, I highly doubt the aliens cared about the mental health of their pets, as long as they sang properly, so I suppose them turning into an ambitious, calculating, cold-blooded person is just an added perk.

The environment Luka was raised in wasn’t exactly “human”, which didn’t help with the growth of his humanity.

Luka’s surroundings can’t be the only thing blamed for his behaviors as an adult, however; he is a product, and products are meticulously designed and manufactured.

Though ANAKT Garden is a school of music made for children, it could also be considered a factory of sorts. Learning how to warm up your vocal cords and read music notes aren’t the only type of performance training children who attend are subjected to. Students are put through more rigorous exercises like heavily monitored, technologically advanced dance, singing and instrumental training, as well as some more “interesting” tests like “superiority tests”, “image making training”, and one specifically tailored to Luka that I’ll explain.

Luka has three documented conditions: chronic migraines, asthma, and congenital heart disease. His special training? “Heart rate variability”. This is defined as “controlling heartbeats to induce the fear of death”, and is exclusive to Luka.

However, as a child, not only was Luka faced with an inescapable threat of death due to his illness, but he was also isolated and ignored by peers due to his weaknesses. Said weaknesses were not helped by limitations he was given when it came to food. Luka was not allowed to eat much as a child, put on a strict diet by his owner, Heperu, and thus could very easily lead to something referred to as scarcity effect.

Luka is also undeniably a good example of the aftereffects of being a child star. He was marketed since he was a student at ANAKT Garden; an official Patreon post stated, “…even while attending Anakt Garden, [Luka and a classmate] kept gaining recognition for their external activities in the showbiz world”. Effects of being exposed to fame as a child, as summarized by chatGPT and paraphrased by me, include stressfully high expectations in regards to success, exploitation from parents/guardians - in this case his owner, identity issues due to constantly being in the eye of the public and being unable to separate a stage persona from your genuine self, invasion of personal space and a struggle to maintain the boundaries of a private life, failure to maintain healthy personal relationships and developing less than ideal coping mechanisms.

These could very well be applied to Luka. He grew up forever in the eye of the public and surrounded by cameras, has a very manipulative owner, and has no personal relationships to speak of.

Luka is a star because he was bent and twisted and rearranged mentally to be so, in not just ugly ways but extremely unethical ones.

Now, where does that leave Luka as an adult? Just as twisted as the ways he was produced, that’s where.

Luka was top of his class at ANAKT Garden, and won the 49th season of Alien Stage. The current canon of the show takes place in the 50th season, and he won that too. He is, no doubt, easily classified as a “winner”, and certainly a successful investment as a human-pet. Although, I wouldn’t say the word “human”, in all of its glory as one of the most wonderful adjectives that could be applied to a person, fits Luka as a character anymore.

Recall when I brought up the scarcity effect. As defined by Wikipedia, “[In the area of social psychology] Scarcity is basically how people handle satisfying themselves regarding unlimited wants and needs with resources that are limited. Humans place a higher value on an object that is scarce, and a lower value on those that are in abundance”. One of the effects of scarcity effect in humans can be a lack of empathy towards others when they believe time is short, and when your heart is constantly working against you, when isn’t it? Luka, in the artbook, is described as a man who “didn't care whether others were hurt or not because he lived only to prove his own value without giving up his side to anyone. He has no hesitation in trampling others and climbing up”. He does things like study his opponent’s weak points and actively exploit them on stage in order to win. There’s your lack of empathy. Furthermore, the conditional variations of new scarcity and competition fits Luka well. To quote the Wikipedia on scarcity effect again, “New scarcity occurs when our irrational desire for limited resources increases when we move from a state of abundance to a state of scarcity”. In regards to competition, “In situations when others are directly competing for scarce resources, the value we assign to objects is further inflated”. I believe it’s a if-the-shoe-fits-type situation, and the shoe is currently the perfect size for Luka.

He won Alien Stage. He won a show that is a matter of life and death, where the best of the best are put up against each other with not only the pressure of a metaphorical, but a literal gun to them. And not only did he win, but he did so while being in a fairly vulnerable position. For example, his migraines. Migraines are known to cause sensitivity to light, and while on stage, Luka is subjected to many of them. He pushed himself to agonizing points, through extremely unsavory training and suffocating amounts of social pressure, to win, and it’s seemed to pay off for him just fine. In the Alien Stage video “TOP 3”, during Luka’s montage, a subtitle appears that consists of the text “The Luka syndrome is sweeping the universe”. The aliens love him. The easy excuse, relying on that information and how it spurs him on, is that fame is an addiction. There are oh so many studies on social media and fame and the problems they can cause. However, I think there’s more to it than that when it comes to Luka.

In an article of the psychology of pretty privilege, it’s said that “[Research] consistently shows that attractive individuals are more likely to be hired, promoted and receive higher salaries. Their appearance-based confidence also enables them to pursue the wages and opportunities they desire and deserve”. I feel like this could be similar to Luka’s current situation. He made it, and he’s idolized, and good things happen when you’re idolized. Indulgence in things like, I don’t know, food and sugar, happen when you’re idolized, as a reward if nothing else. Proper treatment for a myriad of health issues that the aliens are clearly not below abusing and using against him happens when you’re idolized, even if it is just to keep you healthy for the stage. Even rather immature things, like rubbing your success into the faces of those who once overlooked you, happen when you’re idolized.

Why would he want to let that go? He wouldn’t, could you blame him? But, the constant threat of losing it all looms over him. He won Alien Stage Season 49 and got such a wonderful taste of privilege… and then got chucked back into the brutal competition because he was so good. But by then he knew how to play the system, and had a reason to be desperate to play it. His charm on the stage may seem indispensable, but he knows he himself is not.

He remembers the cruel training, he remembers how he got to where he is, and he’s desperate enough for that - hence scarcity effect - that he refuses to let it go, leaving him with a more alien mentality than human. He lives and exists to be entertainment, he knows that, and he knows that without it he may very well not be living at all.

Luka, and many other characters with similar narratives, have many… interesting features that go into their detestable personalities. Luka, as a specific, has had to suffer through uncanny surroundings, torturous stage training, being pushed to aggressively desire things that should be relatively common, the paranoia of being watched and the mental struggles that go hand in hand with the life of a child star, and how that evolved to turn him into a completely inhuman apparatus of a man.

But, honestly? There is so much more to him that I can’t even fit in here. So, with what I’ve presented you, call your own shots! This is just how I view the way he functions and what reasons could be behind it. You could continue or begin to despise him right now, if you wanted; just make sure to acknowledge that he is a very complex character, no matter how you slice it.

[pinkyjulien]

There is something really comfy about Lucanis being a ~30 something year old man confirmed to be demisexual and a virgin