#which i really did not remember! but makes sense

[reidswhre]

notes 4 you ; spencer reid x fem!reader

warnings: fluff! best friends in love

You were gathering your things from your desk while wondering what you were going to have for dinner. You hadn’t left any food prepared, and honestly, you didn’t feel like cooking, but nothing that a food delivery couldn’t fix.

“Hi.” Spencer smiled at you from in front.

“Hey, you.” You smiled back while slinging your bag over your shoulder.

“Are you heading home?” He asked.

“Of course, I’m going home, where else would I go at this hour?” You teased him.

“Oh- I don’t know- I- well.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I thought maybe you could come to my place, I’m making pasta.”

“Your place? Oh God, sure! I’d love to.”

“Really?”

“Of course!”

You used to go to Spencer’s place often, and he to yours. You’d have dinner, watch a movie or two, and talk a lot. You spent all day together at work, but given the tragic cases you dealt with, seeing each other outside of work felt peaceful, a nice atmosphere that you both created.

You liked him a lot, and you were sure he liked you too. There were always moments when everything felt tense or you sensed something stronger than friendship between you, but neither of you ever acted on it.

“I missed it here,” you said as you entered Spencer’s apartment.

“Did you?” He asked as he watched you head straight to his bookshelf.

“Are you kidding? I love this place; it’s so cozy, so interesting, so lovely, so… you.”

“Do you love me?” He gave you a playful look as he set the groceries on the table for dinner.

“Of course, I do, silly.” You rolled your eyes and picked up the book on the coffee table. “This one’s new.”

“Yeah—actually, all those piled over there are new.” He pointed to a stack of about five books to your right.

“Oh, can I borrow this one when you're done?” you asked, grabbing one from the pile.

“You can take any of them, really.” He gave you that closed-lip smile.

“Wait, you’ve read all five already? You said they were new!”

“I read fast.”

“Of course you do.” You rolled your eyes again, smiling as you skimmed through the book.

“By the way! I finished reading that book you recommended, your favorite, remember?”

You felt a wave of happiness wash over you. “You’re kidding! I didn’t even know you bought it! How exciting! What did you think?”

“It was pretty good, though I think the dialogues in the book show some deficiencies in terms of plausibility and conversational dynamics. This homogeneity in the discourse negatively affects the characterization and pacing, creating a sense of stagnation in the dramatic development.”

You were left speechless, which made you laugh a little.

“What’s so funny?” He furrowed his brows.

“You just severely criticized my favorite book!”

“I didn’t criticize it severely!” He defended himself. “I thought it was good! It has memorable lines, and it’s very romantic. I just think the dialogue could’ve been better, that’s all.”

“Sure, everyone’s entitled to their opinion, even if yours is wrong,” you teased.

“Hey!” Spencer feigned offense.

You laughed, and Spencer chuckled a little too.

“You can keep that one too.”

“No, no, don’t worry. I have that book in every edition that exists.” You laughed. “It’s my favorite for a reason.”

“Yeah, but—I thought you might want this one.” Spencer walked over to the bookshelf in front of you and pulled out the book from a drawer.

The book was filled with sticky notes. You glanced at it and saw it was covered with annotations everywhere.

“I—well—I made notes while reading because—I don’t know—I wanted to give it to you. I thought you’d like to see how I was doing as I read it.” He looked a bit nervous.

You looked at him and then back at the book. You were so surprised that no words came out of your mouth, which only made Spencer more anxious.

“No—you don’t have to keep it—It wasn’t my intention to make you feel like you had to read it, I didn’t even ask if you wanted it, I’m really sorry!”

“You’re sorry?” You raised your eyebrows. “Sorry for giving me the best gift anyone’s ever given me?” You smiled broadly.

“What? You want it?” He sighed in relief.

“Are you kidding? This is incredible.” You threw your arms around him in a hug. “I love it! I can’t wait to see what you wrote.” You pulled away from the hug to skim through the book.

“No! Don’t do that!” He placed his hands over the book so you couldn’t read it. “Read it at home, okay?”

“Why!? I want to read it now.” You laughed and moved the book out of his reach.

“The thing is, I—you know—I wrote a lot…” He looked away.

You gave him a knowing look. “Of course, that was the idea, wasn’t it? I’m well aware,” you said teasingly.

“Sure! But… I didn’t just write what I thought about the book.” He looked at you. “I highlighted and underlined things that reminded me of you, and… I wrote you a few things. Just—read it later, okay?”

Suddenly, you felt a bit nervous, your stomach flipping. What did he mean by writing you a few things?

“Oh sure… yeah—sorry.” You closed the book and tucked it under your arm.

“It’s okay! Forget it.” He smiled sweetly. “Help me with the pasta, yeah?”

You smiled back. “What?” You pretended to be offended. “I came here to be treated like a princess, not to get my hands dirty!”

“Stop complaining!” He teased you, and you laughed.

You returned home around midnight, hung up your jacket, and left your keys on the table. Eagerly, you pulled the book out of your bag and sat down on the couch to take a look.

You saw some of his notes.

What’s this supposed to be? This guy’s an idiot. >:(

Oh, that was sweet! Extra points for him!

She’s funny, just like you.

you and me :) It was next to a paragraph describing a black cat and an orange one playing around.

I’m reading this on the plane, and you’re asleep i miss you :(

I seriously hate this guy, who raised him!?

You looked really cute today. You’re always cute.

There were countless more notes, all in his handwriting.

You had no intention of sleeping until you finished reading them all.

[dumblilb]

I Could Be Enough

Vi x Fem!Reader

(Synopsis: They weren’t super close as children, but running around in the same crowd kept them in the know of each other. But years later she might be all Vi’s got left.)

(Warnings: drunk!vi, alcohol, mentions of physical violence ‘ not towards reader’, it’s mostly fluff, a little bit of angst, no mentions of physical attributes, just she/her pronouns, not proof read)

(Requested: yes)

(Words: 1,585)

* ・゚☆ 。・ * ・゚★ 。・ * ・゚☆ * ・゚☆ 。

You don’t even know how it got to this point. Sitting at the booth in a gross, sticky, and dark club, watching over a girl you didn’t think you would ever see again. And maybe you were right. Cause she’s not the same girl you remember running around the streets of the under city as a child. The one who always had a bright look in her eyes as she tried so hard to live up to her father’s name, and keep her siblings safe.

But one thing was the same behind those, now dark and sad, slate grey eyes. She was a fighter. In the most literal sense. She couldn’t keep her fist off a jaw if she tried. Night after night she would cover her distinct tattoos and red hair with dark paint. Disguising herself from the public who claimed her strength as a prize. Or maybe even hiding from herself. She wasn’t to sure anymore.

But as the nights carried on the paint got messier and the drinks were getting stronger. And it was hard to watch. But here you were. Watching. So hard you thought your eyes might bleed from all the strobing lights and smoke filling the air. Any other night you might have gone to bed. Ignored the aching feeling you had, and left her to party the rest of the night away. But you couldn’t. Because there she was also watching you. As she sloppily got up with a bottle in her hand and started to walk towards the exit, the urge to follow consumed you. Because you knew she wanted you too. She was practically begging. And so you did. Meeting her by the stairs leading to her small apartment.

“Thank god you came, I thought I was gonna have to drink all alone tonight.” She slurred and you sighed resting your hip against the wall, propping yourself up.

“What would you do without me.” You smiled at her. Trying not to be angry with how fucked up she sounds. Slyly taking the bottle from her and helping her steady by the waist you walk her home.

“You know you’re so pretty when you’re mad at me.” She sighs as you push her door open. You just roll your eyes. She’s been doing this for months. Ever since her first pit match. You were hired as a sort of nurse for the ring. Patching up the people who were getting their shit rocked, and the people doing the punching. Making sure they were healed enough for their next match. And the second you saw her step in that ring you knew it was her. Sure she looked a little different. But her deep upper cut. You could never forget that.

So you causally brought up growing up in the lanes while bandaging her fists that day. How you were pretty shy but always friendly with a boy named Ekko. And he had introduced you to his friends a few times. You could tell she remembered you. But she didn’t say anything. Which was okay. You could tell she didn’t really want to be known at that point. But as time went on she spent more time talking to you after matches. Sitting at the bar just trying to figure out how life got both of you here.

But she also found alcohol along the way. And that concerned you. She would always assure you she was fine. And you chose to believe her. Even though it sometimes seemed she would look right through you. Like she wished something else was there.

But even before the alcohol, the casual flirting was always there. Comments about how attractive you looked and how nice you were to her compared to the other fighters. Claiming you made her feel ‘so special’ and not just because it was coming from a beautiful girl like you.

So as you sit her down on her small bed and pull out some supplies to remove her makeup you can’t help but shake your head at her.

“Your dumb fake flirting isn’t going to get you out of this one vi. You’re a mess.” You sigh pushing her hair back with one hand, removing her makeup with the other.

“It’s not fake and you know it.” She rolls her eyes. “I want you. Please.” She says griping the hand with the cloth in it. Rubbing her thumb across your knuckles softly. The difference between her ruff scared hands and yours now glaringly apparent.

“You’re drunk and exhausted, and I wouldn’t be surprised if you had a bit of a concussion after today’s match. I haven’t seen you get hit that hard in a while.” You say ignoring her advances. As you’ve done before.

“I’m fine. You know I’m fine.” She reassures you. But the wavering of her eyes says otherwise.

“I know you think you’re fine-“ you remove your hand from hers and finish wiping her face. “But I see you, Vi. And this isn’t fine.” You say pointing from the bottle resting on her little table to her bruised fists.

She groans tossing her head back. And you gear up ready for a fight about how you don’t know what you’re talking about. But she rubs her eyes a little, her breath slowly becoming unsteady.

“You’re right I’m sorry.” She breathes out looking at you. The small bit of light roaming the room makes the wateriness of her eyes sparkle. “God I’m so tired and I don’t know what to do.” She cries.

You don’t even know how to respond. She’s never really cried in front of you before. She’s always been so tuff. But as she sits before you, even her toned and muscular body couldn’t make her look strong.

“I’m so lonely. All I have at this point is you. And you don’t even want me.” She continues and your face softens. Kneeling down in front of her you softly stroke her hair, pulling her in for a hug. She cautiously wraps her arms around you. Like just her touch might scare you away.

“You have me. You do. I think you have for a while now. I just didn’t think you were serious.” You reassure her. Her head nuzzles into the crook of your neck, and you can hear her breathing steady slightly.

“I’m always serious about you.” She says softly, it being a bit muffled by her position. She pulls away from the hug, resting her forehead to yours. “Can you stay please. I don’t want to be alone.” She asks quietly. Her warm breath hitting your lips.

“I’ll stay.” You grin and she moves to get up and grab a blanket. You help get her ready to lay down, removing her thick boots and setting aside the dirty cloth.

She props the blanket in your lap and she lays down. At first you just smile at how dainty she looks compared to how you usually see her. But her strong arm pulling you down next to her snaps you out of it pretty quickly.

Pulling the blanket over you both, you run your fingers through her hair. Analyzing her face one feature at a time. Her eyes seem a little more blue in this lighting. And you can finally see the small freckles adorning her skin.

“Are you trying to seduce me.” She asks with a soft laugh. “Cause it’s working.”

“Don’t get any funny ideas. That’s not happening. At least not tonight.” You say and you could have sworn her cheeks got a little pink.

“Well then you’ve got to stop staring at me like that… At least not tonight.” She jokes rolling over. Making you smile.

With her back to you, you place an arm around her waist holding her firm. You could feel her body stiffen and you try to remove your arm but she stops you. “No wait. This is good.” She whispers. “This is good.” And she holds your arm tight to her. Rubbing circles across it with her fingers. Her whole body relaxes against yours and you smile against her neck.

“You know I’m not that same girl anymore.” She sighs a little out of no where. But you get it, she’s trying to give you an out. A chance to run. You hum in response. “I’m different I think. I’m not as strong as I used to be.” She continues and you know she’s not talking about muscle, or brawn. She used to be a leader. Someone people looked up to. And now… most people didn’t even know her real name.

“That might be true. But that’s okay.” You say pressing a soft kiss to the base of her neck. “You’ve been through a lot. I think you’re holding on to a girl who didn’t know what life was yet. And you’re grown up. It’s normal to not be the same. Or feel the same.” You continue and she turns to face you. Caressing your cheek softly.

“I think maybe I can be okay. With you.” She muses. Placing a light kiss to your lips. Making you smile.

“Good cause I’m not going anywhere.”

You don’t know if tomorrow she would go back to drinking. Or if she would get her ass kicked in the pit. But tonight she was safe. And she was with you. And as she fell asleep to your heart beating against her, you couldn’t help but hope it could stay this way. Cause for you. This was enough.

[dollieseo]

TELL ME THAT YOU LOVE ME AGAIN.

SYNOPSIS. you unintentionally became close to ning yizhuo as trainees. she made it into aespa, you didn’t. after you left sm and debuted with le sserafim, the desire to reconnect is heavy, but it’s not as easy as it sounds.

FEATURING. ningning x le sserafim 6th member reader

WARNINGS. none, maybe a little angsty tho idk

AUTHORS NOTE. first fic hello!! inspired by this song

WORD COUNT. 2.4k

you came to sm entertainment with the sole purpose of becoming an idol. it’s all you’ve ever wanted since you were eight years old. it wasn’t to make friends or build relationships; you wanted to work.

you kept to yourself during your trainee period, never really getting close to anyone. the trainee system was a twisted game and one small mistake could get you sent home. you’ve seen it happen with other trainees who were friends. one would be let go and the other left without their other half. you didn’t want any of that to get in the way of your goal.

ning yizhuo joined the company a year after you did. she was young, only a year younger than you. you remember the first time you officially met her in the practice room, which was completely by accident by the way.

as you walked through the company halls, going to your reserved practice time, you could faintly hear music playing from the practice room, which you found odd. you decided to slowly crack the door open to peek through and saw the younger girl practicing the choreography to into the new world. you know that she was new, maybe two weeks in? it makes sense that she wouldn’t know about your routine. you debated on just leaving and finding a different room, but decide against it.

as soon and you fully entered the practice room she seemed to take notice, jumping in surprise and instantly turning to greet you. you watched as she rushed to turn the music off, it was a little comedic. she hesitantly walked towards you, not really knowing what to say. you could sense the confusion on her face.

“this is my usual rehearsal time here,” you begin, and before yizhuo can spew out apologies, you continue, “it’s okay, you didn’t know.”

“i’m sorry, i can leave,” she managed, looking down at the floor. you feel a little bad, figuring she was probably embarrassed. you sigh, “no, it’s okay,”

‘what the fuck are you doing?’

“you’re practicing into the new world, right?”

she nods.

“we can practice together.” you decide. her face lights up, eyes gleaming, but you instantly regret you words. normally, you prefer practicing alone and being the only person to see the process of fixing your flaws and improving. but going by her reaction she probably wouldn’t think to judge you on anything.

“really?” she asks and you nod, walking towards the speaker to turn the music back on. “come on.”

you and yizhuo spend the next few hours practicing (more like you spend most of the time practicing while she stands there watching, admiring your movements). you were a dancer long before you joined sm, so you ended up helping her with the choreography after seeing her struggle, giving her tips and pointers to help her improve. you thought it was cute how intensely she took in your every word, mentally taking note of every detail you told her.

since that day she insisted on sticking with you. as much as you internally protested, you didn’t do much to keep her away. how could you? she was, what, barely 14? and she was new to the industry. even though you were only a year older than her, you didn’t have the heart to leave her on her own.

the two of you grew close unexpectedly fast, practicing together whenever you didn’t have individual lessons, spending hours in the practice room sometimes not even doing anything, just sitting against the mirrors and having random conversations that ended with both of you in tears from laughing so hard. as time went on, it became relatively known around the company that the two of you were a duo, not one left without the other.

as much as you like yizhuo, or ningning as she would be called after being introduced as an sm rookie, you always curse yourself thinking back to your previous views on building relationships as a trainee. you still have that opinion, but even as the two of you grew up you can’t bring yourself to stay away from her. you don’t want to.

after about four years together, the time came for sm’s newest girl group to be officially formed. for the last few months the company played with lineup, adding and removing girls almost every few weeks. you and ningning were apart of the group of girls considered for the final lineup, along with yu jimin and kim minjeong.

after what felt like an eternity of uncertainty, the company finally announced who would be in the final lineup. many were sure that you would be included, being an sm rookie who ranked highly at monthly evaluations. you were confident too.

however, while you all were practicing, a staff member brought in another girl and asked you to come out. you recognized her as uchinaga aeri, who only joined the company a few months ago. you looked around skeptically, but followed the staff member out of the room and into the hallway.

honestly, you can’t really recall everything that was said to you. all you remember is something along the lines of your removal and the world falling silent. everything stopped in that moment and you wondered if you were dreaming. you didn’t want to believe it but the somber look on the staff’s face solidified it for you.

you didn’t make it.

that day, you left practice early. yizhuo, along with jimin, minjeong, and aeri had to stay later to practice for their debut. before you left, you stopped to give yizhuo a hug, reassuring and congratulating her. you could tell that she was having mixed emotions. she was happy to debut but she wanted to do it with you. though her face was buried into your shoulder, you heard her mutter a ‘i’ll see you later,’ before letting go.

she didn’t expect to see your side of the room empty when she came back to the dorms that night. all of your belongings; polaroids on the wall, your comforter that she preferred sleeping on more than her own, everything you had was gone. and you didn’t even tell her.

you joined source music about two years later, being added to their debut team almost instantly along with two former iz*one members, sakura and chaewon, and huh yunjin, who you recognized from produce 48 and swore you’ve seen around the sm building a few times. kazuha and eunchae joined not too long after you did, and at first you were a bit threatened by their addition. you feared that they were your replacements and that it’d only be a matter of time before you’d be cut from the group.

however, the six of you worked amazingly together, and after getting over the initial doubt, got along great. you all had that balance of being genuine friends and colleagues. you finally felt like things were going your way.

the success of le sserafim’s debut was massive, some mixed reviews about the title track, but the album sold well and you guys got a few music show wins, which you never would’ve imagined for your debut.

as time went on, your career only went up. you attended award shows, held concerts, had fans. you were living your dream, and although you never expected it to be with these girls, you were happy nonetheless.

you thought about ningning a lot. it was hard not to, now that you were an idol. le sserafim and aespa were always in the same conversation when it came to top 4th generation girl groups. you felt indifferent about it. you wanted to move on from the past, but you were also glad that both of you were able to achieve your dreams, even if it wasn’t together.

you don’t get many days off being in the prime of your career, which you’ve always expected. today though, as comeback promotions for unforgiven came to an end, you hoped to spend today laying in bed and watching netflix, allowing your body to reset from such a hectic schedule.

keyword: hoped.

the sound of your phone ringing makes you dramatically groan. silently hoping it wasn’t anyone important you glance at your phone to see an unsaved phone number. normally, you’re told not to answer calls from unknown numbers, the main reason being that it’ll most likely be a sasaeng. but you recognize this number, even though it isn’t saved in your phone.

“hello?”

“unnie.”

you’ve played a thousand different scenarios in your head, thinking of what to say in any situation where you would see yizhuo again. yet when that time finally came, all of your hypotheticals went completely out the window. you didn’t think her calling you would be that first interaction in three years.

“how’d you get my number?” is what you decide to say. you changed your number after leaving sm, but you still remembered hers.

“minjeong unnie gave it to me,” she answered. you internally curse, figuring she got your number from chaewon. it’s not like you’re mad or upset that she called, you just weren’t expecting it nor were you prepared for it.

“can you come over to the dorms? i wanna talk to you.” yizhuo asks.

“we’re talking right now,” you play dumb. again, you’re not prepared for this.

“i mean in person, unnie.”

you think about giving her the excuse of being busy, you should give her that excuse. but you don’t know when you’ll both be free to talk again. you want to take that opportunity.

“okay,” you decide.

your arrival to aespa’s dorm surprises all of the members. jimin, who answers the door, instantly wraps you in a hug and aeri and minjeong, who were sitting on the couch jump up to do the same the moment they see you.

you tell them that yizhuo invited you over and jimin lets you know that she’s in their room. you thank her and head over, giving the cracked door two light knocks before fully opening it.

you’ve seen her around and on tv this past year so it wasn’t like you really haven’t seen her in three years, but your breath still hitches when you lay eyes on her. when she sees you, she smiles widely. it reminds you of when you two were trainees.

“you came!”

you snorted, “did you think i wasn’t?” you gently close the door behind you before crossing your arms and slowly walking towards her bed where she was sitting.

“you could’ve,” she shrugs. “considering you left without telling me, you could’ve not come and not told me.”

you sigh and sit down next to her. “i’m sorry.”

that day, and the many days following, hurt. it hurt you to feel like you spent so much time working hard just to fail. you didn’t think it would hurt yizhuo nearly as much. you didn’t think about how much she missed you or how long she spent crying after realizing you had left.

the room falls silent, both of you unsure of what else to say to each other. there’s a million things you two could talk about but neither of you do, afraid of rehashing more bad memories. instead you make yourself comfortable and lie back, resting you hand on your stomach. yizhuo does the same and the silence becomes comfortable, both of you cherishing this moment; being together again.

“i was in love with you, you know.” you decide to casually let out, hiding the nervousness in your voice. you’re scared of how she’ll respond. she could laugh in your face, or just straight up reject you, even though you weren’t exactly confessing, and make things awkward again.

but yizhuo does the opposite of what you were expecting.

“you were?” she suddenly sits up and locks eyes with you. you think she looks like a doll with her eyes wide and her mouth slightly agape. you take a moment to admire her while she takes that moment to fully comprehend what you said. her mouth closes and her eyes furrow at her realization. “was,” she repeats, tilting her head. “you’re not anymore?” her voice goes quiet, as if she’s scared to ask. maybe she was, but why?

“not really,” you glance at her before looking back towards the ceiling. you don’t want to see her reaction, though you can feel her entire body deject into the bed and hear her mumble a small ‘oh’.

“why not?”

“hm?”

“why don’t you love me anymore?”

“i don’t know if you noticed, yizhuo, but i’ve been avoiding you since you debuted. kinda hard to keep feelings for someone you don’t see anymore.” it seems harsh but you hope your light hearted tone doesn’t make it sound that way.

“you didn’t have to avoid me. i would still been your friend─”

“it wasn’t about you,” you interrupt, sighing before finally sitting up to fully face her. “i was pissed and jealous and seeing you on tv would’ve only made me hate you. i don’t want to hate you.”

even after you debuted in le sserafim you tried to avoid her, and all of aespa for that matter. it was nothing against the girls but you couldn’t help the bitterness that filled you when you thought about the fact that you didn’t make the lineup.

you figured she’d have more to say after you revealed the truth, but nothing came out of her mouth. you could only read the disappointment on her face.

“what, were you expecting something different?” you ask after a long period of uncomfortable silence.

“i was hoping you’d say that you still love me,” she reveals, opting to look at her hands placed in her lap rather than at you.

“why?” you already know the answer. you just want to hear her say it.

“because i loved you,” she pauses, “and i never stopped.”

oh.

you should’ve known that something like this would happen, and maybe you did. maybe there was a rational part of your brain screaming at you not to go see her and you just didn’t listen. maybe deep down you still loved her, but the fear of losing again repressed that love. yizhuo or your career? you don’t know. the idol industry is a twisted game where one small mistake could cost you your entire career and if you have to lose one, you figure that losing the chance of loving her is better than losing the career you both worked years for.

“i’m sorry, yizhuo.” you whisper. it’s all you can muster up to say. you tell yourself that it’s better this way. sure, she’s hurt now but she’ll get over it. just like you did, or at least pretended to.

[fanficlolsblog]

JUST A LITTLE BITE

pairing: vampire fem!reader x wednesday addams

summary: Y/N, a vampire, returns to wednesday addams' dorm after a day out, sensing her girlfriend's hidden frustration at being apart. as Y/N teases wednesday about her vampire nature, they share playful intimacy through biting. their connection deepens, revealing wednesday’s vulnerability and desire, ultimately strengthening their bond in the shadows.

warnings: mentions of light bitting, vamprism, blood play.

back to my main masterlist

It had been a long day out with my friends, filled with laughter and sunlight, both of which always seemed a little too bright for my liking. As a vampire, I thrived in the dark, where the shadows embraced me like an old friend. But today had been different. I wanted to enjoy life outside my usual midnight escapades, if only for a while. Still, all I could think about was getting back to her.

As I stepped into the dimly lit hallway of Nevermore Academy, a chill ran down my spine, a mixture of excitement and anticipation. I moved silently, my footsteps barely making a sound against the polished floor. Wednesday Addams’ dorm room was just a few doors down, and I could feel an inexplicable pull toward her, one that always seemed to intensify the longer I was away.

I pushed open the door, the hinges creaking softly. The room was just as I remembered it: dark, cluttered with peculiar artifacts and a hint of the macabre. Wednesday was sitting on her bed, a book sprawled open in front of her, but her eyes were glued to the window, lost in thought.

“Hey,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper.

She turned slowly, her expression unreadable. “You took your time,” she replied, her tone flat but with an undercurrent of something deeper.

I could sense it immediately. There was a heaviness in the air, a tension that I recognized well. Wednesday often masked her emotions behind a veneer of indifference, but I could see through it. “Did you miss me?” I asked, trying to keep the teasing light.

“Hardly,” she retorted, but her eyes flickered with something that felt like longing.

I moved closer, noting the way she shifted slightly, an unconscious invitation. “You know it’s not the same without you,” I said softly, my gaze locking onto hers. “I hate being away from you.”

For a moment, I thought I saw a flash of vulnerability in her dark eyes, but she quickly masked it with her usual stoicism. “Well, you’re back now. That’s all that matters.”

I perched on the edge of her bed, the tension between us palpable. “You don’t have to pretend with me, Wednesday. I can sense how you feel.”

Her lips twitched, but she suppressed a smile. “You can’t always read me like an open book, Y/N.”

“Maybe not, but I know you well enough to tell when you’re upset.” I leaned in closer, catching the faint scent of her shampoo mixed with something uniquely her. “What’s really bothering you?”

She paused, her gaze drifting to the book in front of her, avoiding my eyes. “I just... don’t like being ignored,” she said, the faintest hint of frustration creeping into her voice.

I reached out, brushing my fingers against hers. “You weren’t ignored, I just needed some time out. But I’m here now.” I hesitated for a moment before adding, “And I think you secretly love it when I bite you.”

A smirk tugged at the corners of her mouth, but she quickly suppressed it, her facade slipping momentarily. “I don’t ‘love’ anything,” she said, but I could hear the teasing lilt in her tone.

“Sure, keep telling yourself that.” I leaned closer, my fangs grazing her neck. She shivered slightly, and I could see the rush of excitement in her dark eyes.

“Y/N,” she murmured, her voice a mix of annoyance and thrill. “You’re insufferable.”

“Maybe, but you enjoy it.” I brushed my lips against her skin, just above where my fangs would pierce. I could feel her heartbeat quicken, a rhythm that matched my own in a way that was both intoxicating and terrifying.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” she replied, but the breathiness in her voice betrayed her.

“Then let me show you.” I pressed my fangs against her neck, teasingly light, just enough to make her breath hitch. I could feel the tension in her body, the way she leaned into me, craving that small bit of pain mingled with pleasure.

“Just a little bite,” I whispered, allowing myself the indulgence of sinking my fangs into her skin for the briefest moment. The taste of her blood was warm and inviting, and I pulled back, a satisfied smile on my lips. “See? Not so bad.”

Wednesday’s expression shifted, her usual stoic demeanor faltering as she tried to regain control. “You’re a menace,” she said, though her eyes sparkled with something darker, something that told me she wanted more.

I couldn’t help but chuckle, feeling a surge of warmth at the sight of her struggle to maintain her composure. “Maybe, but you like me just the way I am.”

“Perhaps,” she said, feigning nonchalance, but her gaze betrayed her interest. “You’re certainly not boring.”

“Glad to hear it.” I brushed a strand of hair behind her ear, my fingers lingering on her cool skin. “And you’re definitely not boring either.”

She leaned into my touch, and for a moment, the distance between us vanished. I could feel the weight of her longing, the unspoken words hanging in the air. “What are we doing, Y/N?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

I smiled, my heart racing. “Whatever we want. As long as you’re with me.”

For the first time, Wednesday’s defenses seemed to crack just a bit. She smiled, a small, genuine smile that made my heart flutter. “Then let’s not waste any more time.”

[iphyslitterator]

Getting out some more Airport 1975 Theory thoughts now that I've actually watched the movie (building on my earlier post):

The main strike against this theory is that it's too good to be true lol.

If they do Airport 1975 and Tommy isn't involved, that would admittedly be very funny 💀 Partial credit!

The flight in the movie is Columbia 409. If the flight number in the episode is 409, we will Know.

"Sick little girl who needs a kidney transplant" and "nun with guitar" are also dead giveaways.

There is plenty of downtime in the movie (thanks, autopilot), so I feel justified imagining a conversation between Tommy and Athena.

I really do love the idea of a few lines of Bobby/Athena dialogue early in 8x01 establishing that Athena has qualms about Tommy. It sets up a fun little bonding arc, which potentially serves as a muuuch lower-stakes mirror to wrestling with feelings about her fiancé's killer (can people change, when should you let the past go, etc.).

I think "Tommy lands the plane" and "Buck and Tommy fight about Gerrard" in the opening arc are mutually exclusive. I'd bet on, at most, one Bucktommy-only scene in 8x01 and one in 8x03 (and Tommy might not be in 8x01 at all).

Definitely doesn't make sense for Tommy to talk Athena through landing the plane from the ground - they don't need a helicopter pilot, they could get actual experts on the jet.

In the movie, rappelling into the plane is treated as an unprecedented terrifying stunt, and they get a specially-chosen military guy to go up in a military helicopter to try it. But he gets caught on some wreckage and falls to his death, so Charlton Heston (Nancy the stewardess's boyfriend and a very accomplished instructor on this type of plane) decides to go in and succeeds. Neither is a helicopter pilot.

The collision ripped a big hole in the cockpit, by the way, so if that doesn't happen on the show, it pretty much kills the rappelling theory.

To have Tommy's involvement "make sense" for people who know nothing about aviation (sorry), here's my pitch:

The collision happens at a fairly low altitude OR the plane starts losing altitude. Pilots are dead or incapacitated, and the door to the cockpit is blocked so no one can get in. Tommy and his copilot are already in the air dealing with the bees, and they happen to be the closest to the plane, which requires time-sensitive intervention. Tommy (movie buff) (unhinged) rappels into the cockpit and, guided by air traffic control on the radio, gets the plane stabilized and solves the immediate crisis.

Athena finally bursts into the cockpit. Tommy: "Sergeant Grant." Athena: "Firefighter Kinard? How did you get in here???" Tommy (catching his breath, wry manic smile): "Jumped." Cut to commercial.

Then they're in the air for another episode and a half because of damage to the plane and/or bees at the airport.

At the end of the movie, Charlton Heston says to the passengers, "Thank you for flying Columbia Airlines," and Tommy would look soooo hot doing that, he would deliver that line so good.

I've got to say, I can't remember the last time I had this much fun with a fan theory - even if it doesn't come true at all, it's been a pleasure 🫡

[andy-wm]

AYS Behind the scenes: behind the paywall

Now that the Disney+ episodes are complete (sob), my attention is firmly fixed on my mailbox as I wait impatiently for the AYS photobook and QR code.

I was always going to buy the Jikook photobook, even though I doubt there will be much we haven't already seen in the episodes. But the inclusion of the QR code was the clincher.

I must admit, Hybe locking up the behind the scenes for AYS was not on my bingo sheet.

Making behind/additional clips available on Bangtan TV would have been more in line with their regular MO. We don't generally have to pay for what really amounts to outtakes.

Okay, yes, we have to pay for behind cuts of Run BTS, but the actual episodes are free. With everything else the behind clips are included when you buy the series (I'm thinking of BV, ITS, and concert boxed sets).

In fact I can't think of any other time a behind/ bonus clip hasn't been available to fans who pay for the main content.

Maybe it is because Hybe was only contracted to deliver 8 episodes to Disney+ and the price was fixed. Maybe they saw an easy way to make the series more profitable.

We know they will take any opportunity to lighten our wallets.

But I think there's more to it

Let's talk business:

If Hybe wanted to make money from this, having the sale point directly on Weverse would make more sense. That way anyone could buy it any time without having to buy the photobook as well. Even if they charged just a few $$ for these extra clips, the return could be substantial over time. Long tail products can be very lucrative and Hybe clearly knows this - they have heaps of old footage for sale on Weverse. Since they're hosting the content already, it makes sense to keep that 'buy now' button active and let the dollars trickle in.

So why reduce the potential pool of buyers? Why limit this to those who buy the photobook??

Well, let's consider who is going to buy the photobook?

Who is going to fork out US$28 plus postage for a keepsake of these two on their third honeymoon?

I doubt OT7 ARMYs would buy it. Even ARMYs who bias JM or JK - if they aren't part of the SGMB they probably don't want it either.

Solos sure as hell don't want it - they are probably wishing the whole thing never happened... sucks to be them haha

Who really wants to see these two living their best lives together?

We do!

And by we, I mean Jikook supporters.

People who want to see more of this:

and this

And this

We are the people who will buy this photobook (and probably never look at it more than once, let's be honest)

But let's get back to the topic at hand....

The photobook/behind combo seems like a chicken/egg situation to me.

Which came first - as a concept - the photobook or the behind clips?

Did they decide to offer a photobook, and then think of adding the extra footage to make it more appealing?

Or vice versa?

Did they decide to make the behind clips, and think of the photobook afterwards?

Hard to say, since behind clips have always been a thing and recently Hybe is putting out photobooks for everything.

But I think I have a fair idea

Consider the price point for this photobook - it's the same price as most of the others produced recently: +-US$28.

AYS photobook & behind is the same price as the Photo-Folios, Tae's Type 1 (magazine version) photobook, and the Beyond The Stage photobook

🗣 So they aren't charging any extra for the behind footage?

No, they aren't. They're basically giving it to the buyers of the photobook as a gift.

🗣 Could they be making money off it?

Yes, the could.

Long tail, remember?

Looking at the profit-making potential, it makes WAY more sense for Hybe to offer the behind footage on Weverse for a few meagre dollars and... wait for their ship to come in...

See what I did there? hahahhaha (laughing by myself)

They really aren't making any money off this!

how unlike Hybe...

So why go to the effort of setting up QR codes and putting it behind a paywall? It costs money to host content this way. They are in fact SPENDING money to bring us this footage.

Not only through the hosting costs there are also production costs to consider.

Wouldn't it make more sense to just freely share it with ARMY via Bangtan TV? Or not release it at all?

Yes, it would...

So there's only one logical answer...

Hybe has chosen to make the content available - but also make it just that little bit more difficult to access.

This whole exercise seems to be about releasing additional footage without releasing it to the general public. It's being shared specifically with those of us who support them.

Does that mean we'll see slightly more personal content?

Maybe it's a little more revealing of their undeniable bond and their hot chemistry...?

Whatever they contain, these behind clips are definitely for a limited audience - and purposefully so.

The only reason for it, that I can think of, is to safeguard Jimin and Jungkook from too much scrutiny and criticism - from within the fandom (unfortunately) and outside of it.

We will find out in a few days I guess.

In the meantime, I'm camped out by my mailbox

[buckgasms]

Bucky flirting with some girl while bunny is talking with natasha about something and suddenly she gets the brilliant idea to copy what bucky does! Kidnap the bitch and make sure she knows not to touch what dosent belong to her! Bucky can't be mad because he set the example for you to follow :)

Ooh nonnie you are devious 😈 I love it!

But you see my thought is this. I don't think bunny would punish the other woman because you gotta be a girl's girl in a man's world right?

BUT

There's no issue with telling Bucky you did it anyway. Just to fuck with his head...

I mean you are pissed with her, even when she tells you that Bucky wasn't flirting with her, they were just talking about some customer who did a stupid thing and they were laughing about it.

You didn't believe that, but you were being generous, she had the sense to look apologetic and scared. And when you suggested she take the next few days off, she took the wad of cash you stole from Bucky with a smile and left the club for a week or so.

You were now perched on Bucky's desk while he paced around the room, in a state of absolute panic and rage because you wouldn't tell him what you'd done to her.

"Well..." You mumbled slowly, "all I can really remember is you smiling at her and making her laugh...."

He growls in frustration and grimaces at you.

"Oh! I might have pushed her off a bridge....Yeah that's right, I took her for a cute little walk and pushed her into the river..."

But then you tut and shake your head, letting out a giggle as he kicks a bin in frustration.

"Or maybe I dragged her by those cheap extensions all the way down to the little red room and did the things you do to all those nasty men you deal with?"

You casually pull a long blonde extension out of your pocket and twirl it around.

He stalks over and grips your shoulders, squeezing you tight, his face dead serious.

"Bunny, for the last fucking time. What did you do with her? I need to know..."

You look at him quizzically, hands gliding up his expensive shirt to massage his chest, heaving under his anger.

"Why? Do you miss her? Do you want her back to take care of you? You want her to be your little bunny?"

He squeezes his eyes shut and you think maybe his head might explode. Which would be a great shame. Finally he opens them, and his hands come to cup your cheeks.

"Bunny, you know I love you. Crazy about you in fact. You are actually the first girl I haven't... I don't want anyone else, I honestly couldn't handle anyone else. You are the biggest handful I've ever had to deal with..."

You giggle and grab his crotch in one hand whilst pulling him to kiss you.

"Same actually..."

He chuckles and leans his forehead on yours, sighing in defeat as you press more kisses to his cheeks and lips.

"Show it to me Bucky. Show me your big cock and maybe I'll tell you then?"

He backs away slowly and unbuckles his belt. You swing your legs in excitement as his zipper is dragged down.

"You're crazy, you know that Bun Bun?" He approaches slowly, his big hands stroking at his heavy cock. "This good enough bunny?"

He chuckles as you shake your head because he knows that would never be enough for his crazy bunny. He presses a kiss to your forehead before nudging you to lay back over his desk.

You sigh with satisfaction as you feel him pull your underwear down, leaving you bare and exposed to him. You tilt your head and watch him, moving your legs to sit comfortably on his shoulders. He presses a kiss to one of your ankles before sliding in, just a little.

"Bucky, if you don't fuck me I'll never tell you where she is... Don't play with me."

He rolls his eyes before thrusting in fully, groaning at how tight and wet you are. His face is a picture of rage and pure pleasure as he ruts into your soft heat.

"Fuck sake Bunny, never a dull moment huh?"

Your giggle mixes with a groan and you grab his hands, pulling him towards you to share a perfect kiss. His lips chase yours, teeth nipping as his hips roll faster.

"You really love me?" You whisper between kisses, wrapping your arms around his neck, gripping his back as you feel his muscles strain and tighten as he moves.

"I adore you Bunny, you're my everything. Even if you drive me crazy..."

You both giggle as he drives harder, kissing and biting at you as you chase him.

"Hmm Bucky, I'm gonna.. gonna come..." You whine as be growls in your ear.

"Come on Bunny, be my good girl..."

It doesn't take long before he drags you over the edge, a long moan falling from your lips as he growls in your ear from his own pleasure.

He gives you both a moment before pulling back slightly and more serious look on his face.

"So you gonna tell me now?"

You giggle and grab your phone, swiping this way and that before you let you an even harder laugh out as you show him the screen.

"I sent her on vacation, she's in Florida...and you paid for it..."

His scowl is back and your giggles become almost impossible to control, as he pulls back and buttons himself up.

"Bunny I swear to god...."

You sit up and grab his shirt, pulling him back to you.

"But if you flirt with anyone again," your face becomes as serious as his, "then I won't be so sensible next time."

[dreemurr-skelememer]

Hello :D

I have been following you for the last year or so (a few days after I got my Tumblr lmao) and I absolutely love your art!

I have been wanting to study your art style for a while but don't really know where to start,,,

Could you please show me a small portion of your art process, if it isn't too much trouble of course. Thank you and have a nice day!

hello. oh my god. this took forever to find. im sorry it took 2 WHOLE FUCKING MONTHS for me to respond to this but i wanted to put it off until i felt happy with my art process again, so here it is

my fall 2024 rendering tutorial! (this will be very very long)

FLATS AND WHATEVER YOU WANNA DO WITH LINES GIRL. then make sure to recolor the lineart to better match your base. trust me it helps, bold dark lines are Not your best friend when rendering. wait for that post-rendering

i start off with a doodle or a sketch, and then filling it in with flats and other details such as blush

FIGURE OUT YOUR LIGHT SOURCE. FIGURE IT OUT GIRL YOU CAN DO IT you can make it as simple as possible, make it as big as possible, dont even THINK about the details.........just make it really fucking big so you at least know where the shadows and the light goes THEN add smaller shading details LISTEN TO ME. LISTEN TO ME OKAY!!!!!!!!

my key point with this is for you to learn lighting fundamentals. it's SOOO ANNOYING but alas......they are all correct. it helps a lot.

one thing i also really want to point out is that i like creating a big shadow shape first before fixing up the little details (such as folds and whatever) because it helps me focus on the way the lighting actually works instead of tunnel vision-ing into making the shading make sense on the clothing.

contact shadows (i dont remember if thats what theyre called okay) theyre fucking ugly because im not actually thinking sorry 💔

okay so basically: contact shadows (if that's what they're called) are the spots in shading and lighting where light will NEVER hit.

shadows are still influenced by the colors and lights around it (it's why a blue shadow and a yellow shadow feel completely different, despite both being shadows) so it's not always COMPLETELY dark. BUT! there are small points in shadows where light never hits, and they're almost always super dark or pitch black.

it's hard to explain shadow and light so briefly for a tutorial, but you'll notice it when watching fundamental studies and when trying it out for yourself

YES i unclipped the multiply layer YES its ugly and terrifying but it makes coloring the multiply layer easier okay the colors merged w multiply so now it looks cool and has depth overlaying colors that actually make sense

so basically what i did was color the multiply layer that i used to shade the overall drawing

adding a band of red/orange/yellow around where the light hits, and blue where the shadows get big and wide, gives it a fake ambient occlusion effect in the way that a person would get if they stood under the sun with a clear blue sky

the colors don't have to make sense, especially because i never draw backgrounds, but coloring the shadows really help it give a sense of depth and extra subtle detail and effect that just helps make the painting look nicer

around the end, i also put in colors (in an overlay layer with a low opacity brush) that actually make sense in context of the drawing, which is the lit cigarette and the yellow eyelights mostly because none of the colors were making sense and i needed to actually make use of the lighting that DOES exist in the drawing lol

adding a muddy golden yellow pin light layer (opacity turned down to like 40-50%) to make the light colors less ugly lol

i SWEAR by the fucking pin light layer style. it's so useful and so so underrated.

i used an almost brown-ish gold color on stop of all the layers, and with the pin light layer, it helped make the bright (almost blue-ish) white colors more warm and more yellow. it just helps make things more warm (something i prefer)

i could probably show what it looks like without adjusting the layer opacity to truly show off what i mean (like in the coming section) but i sadly forgot to do that lol

make a layer on top of your drawing with this color in these ranges YES the drawing is fully merged NO don't be afraid, the base was fucking ugly anyway 💔 make this layer into an exclude/exclusion layer style TRUST turn down your exclusion layer opacity from a range of 10% to 40% literally until you're happy with the contrast and the way the color over the drawing. use your eyeballs. i know you can do it im so proud of you

this is pretty self-explanatory instruction-wise, so i'll go into why i do this instead

i really like art that seems like it has low contrast, with almost mid-gray shading and lines. i don't personally use dark and bold lines and shading, unless i find it necessary for the tone of the piece, so using this method helps lower the contrast of the art and make it look "pleasantly muddy" in the way that it's easier and softer on the eyes.

the inverted blue color also helps makes things warmer! the exclusion layer style is still a bit of a mystery to me but i really like the effect it gives, even if i don't completely get how it works lol

if you want an alternative method to this, and if you have access to it (because i primarily use sai and sai only), i absolutely encourage you to play around and experiment with gradient maps. there are so many out there you can make yourself or even get from others that just give the painting an extra amount of depth and color variation. they're SO fun.

personally, if sai2 gets a gradient map update, it's over for y'all it will literally be so over no one will be able to stop me

then i merged everything and actually adjusted the contrast back up because it was looking too muddy for me 💔 but the color adjustments are still there so all hope is not lost here's a comparison of the adjusted contrast in black and white (adjusted on the left) (newly merged layer without adjusting the contrast on the right)

as you can see, i actually turned the contrast back up (despite talking all about how i liked things with less contrast lol)

i wanted to demonstrate that doing adjustments should be done in moderation, and is why i adjust layer opacity often when making color effects you are free to play around with colors to help your style, but don't lose your initial idea and colors along the way. you still need to trust your own colors and intuition!

along with that, i just want to say that it's completely okay to change your mind mid-painting, and it's okay to make somewhat drastic changes. don't be afraid to change things you don't like or change your mind about certain aspects way later on that's basically the whole thing of this!!! don't be scared!!!

now im gonna hold your hand when i say this..........but you need to learn how to render by yourself. it seems like i can teach you but i literally can't, because rendering is different on every piece and depending on how clean your base is. i have to render A LOT because of how fucking ugly my sketches are LMAO to simplify it, think of it as obsessively cleaning up every detail you can see, but with a color picker and a clean, hard edged brush. if you have shit lineart, you don't have to redraw it cleanly over and over, just paint over it. that's basically what rendering is

THIS especially is where you need to be brave and stop being scared. like i said, i can't teach you how to render, and it's something you have to discover yourself because rendering is something that will always be personal to every single piece you make. the way you render on every piece is different. on one piece, you will barely need to render, and on another, rendering is more than half of your ENTIRE process.

don't be afraid to paint over your old art. rendering is a process that's both very perfectionist yet also very careless. find your balance and just go for it.

and then that's it……..u did it………..now yuo know how to paint and render. it's literally just layering shading and lighting knowledge until you think it makes sense and looks okay lol additional note: since i render in only one layer (you don't HAVE to do this, but it'll be harder for you…), i also made slight adjustments with the transform (and liquify, if you have it) tool to make things more proportionate. (i drew the head too big lol)

if you compare the finished piece to the final unrendered base, you can see that a LOT changed, including a bit of subtle proportion adjustment. particularly, the sleeves changed A LOT (because i really didn't like them) but it's also over all cleaner and more coherent, instead of having haphazard colors and shading just thrown about.

rendering is when you finally use all 100% of your brain to finalize and figure out where the shading should go, where to clean up your lines, where to ERASE or ADD BACK in lines, and make sure all your colors look coherent.

it's not as intimidating as it seems, i only use a hard edged brush with a little bit of color mixing and my color picker. it's like dragging and dropping colors to cover up mistakes, it's really quite fun when you get used to it i wish i could explain it clearer but it's hard to describe without visuals!

i hope this helped, and i hope all my yapping isn't annoying (art as a special interest beloved)

have fun studying and trying to render in my art style!

[nheyri]

박종성 — snuggles.

(w) pure fluff + a little bit of rambles.. it don’t make

sense.. ᓚ₍ ^. .^₎

( wc ) 423

Jay really wanted to take you out for dinner tonight, have he’d been busy since the break of dawn. Both of you couldn’t remember the times you ever went out on a date; considering his heavy schedule in and out of his office.

What he wasn’t aware about was the fact that you were sick during his work week, which made him rethink everything he did wrong. Was he not there enough for you? Did he cook you something bad yesterday? Did you get food poisoning? Was he not there to warm you up? He felt like he didn’t do enough — disregarding his original plan, he decided not to call you and show up abruptly.

The faint sound of the front door unlocking threw you up from your trance. You stirred up from the duvet you were under, the clack of Jay’s leather shoes rubbing your eardrums. All you’ve been doing this whole week was eating sweet popcorn and binge watching a movie Sunghoon recommended.

“Honey, what are you doing?” He chuckled, looking down at you from his position in the foyer, placing his shoes on the top section of the shoe rack. You didn’t reply, looking at him in a daze. He felt a pang of concern, but realized because you had just woken up.

He took his blazer off, grinning widely at the chance to finally pounce on you. He trapped you under his embrace, nuzzling against your valley, sighing at the feeling of your soft skin. “You should’ve called me and told me you were sick. I didn’t know until Jake told me.” He mumbled incoherent sounds, causing you to giggle slightly.

“Jake knew because I sneezed on our game night call. I didn’t tell him.” You threw back, caressing his hair just the way he liked it, messing up his slicked-back hair. He raised his head, pouting. “You called him but not me? My heart..” he whined, popping his head under your shirt.

You smiled softly, pressing a kiss to the top of his head, whispering, “You’re tired, aren’t you?” “You already know. Are you okay, though? I heard your fever was bad.. and you’re biting up, honey..” Jay pressed his ear against your pulse, slowly easing him from his clear concern. You didn’t reply again, ruffling his hair gently, fluffing it up again.

He sighed, knowing your answer. “Let’s go to bed, hm?” You nodded, wrapping your arms around his neck, him pulling you up with ease. “Let’s get your little body some rest.. and some medication.”

xo, @nheyri . 2024.

[eri-pl]

Silm reread 18: Tears Unnumbered ye shall shed

So, we got here. But first, B&L get an epilogue.

First, a tidbit about reembodiment: B&L take their physical forms again in Doriath. I guess they go from Mandos to there in spirit. (It's all "allegedly", anyway). Everyone is happy and afraid when seing them (very reasonable reaction I think) and Luthien heals Thingol from (depression, more or less).

Melian looks in Luhien's eyes and is sad. She "realized they will be apart till the end of the world and after" (huh?) and again, we have Pengolodh's favorite stylistic tool: "nobody ever suffered more from any loss than Melian suffered then".

Oh, I found the quote in original: “But Melian looked in her eyes and read the doom that was written there, and turned away; for she knew that a parting beyond the end of the world had come between them, and no grief of loss has been heavier than the grief of Melian the Maia in that hour."

B&L go to Ossiriand, it vaguelly feels like they don't neet to eat anymore? But unclear.

Anyway, back to the proper plot Feanorians. Maedhros gained hope, because he saw Morgoth is not untouchable. He starts creating the Union, but the wording about him doing it … even without knowing the story, if I read it carefully, I would probably be worried about how it will go.

And we have a clear reminder of the Oath and all that. Orodreth doesn't trust the Feanorians because C&C (makes sense I guess) (Finrod would probably join the Union but anyway). Gwindor joins Maedhros, going against his king's orders… we know how this will end for Gwindor.

doriath. Mae&co had sent brash letters to thingol along the lines of "you will be our enemy if you don't give the Silmaril back" and Melian advised Thingol to give it to them! But he is angry at their tone and at C&C, and also B&L have suffered so much for this jewel…

Sidenote: If your main claim to a piece of treasure is "but I/someone have sufferred so much", keeping it is probably going to end badly.

Also thingol wants to keep the Silmaril, because it is this jewel's power…. wait what? "And every day that he looked upon the Silmaril the more he desired to keep it for ever; for such was its power." [original] WHAT.

Ok, that is new. So, the Silmaril is canonically addictive? Or is it only because it has been in Morgoth's crown?

So, anyway, Thingol sends Maedhros a dissing answer and Maedhros leaves him be, because the Union is more important. Yay, Maedhros, great job, you are doing well! (For now :((( )

Unfortunately C&C threathen Thingol with genocide, after they win the wart. Which they assume they will. So thingol fortifies and doesn't go to the war. (Mablung and Beleg go, but Thingol allows them reluctantely, so they end up better than Gwindor)

Bór! :) and Ulfang :(

Maedhros plays his hand a bit too early :(

Also, another mention of Morgoth's spies (plural) and traitors. So, I guess the fallen Men, enslaved Elves and shapeshifting wannabe-Saurons sabotage the Union as much as they can.

Battle, Fingon doubtful, problems, suddenly: Turgon! First good surprise of this battle (it will be a whiplash…)

The Noldor want to charge too quickly, but Hurin stops them, because he is wise.

Morgoth wants to kill Fingon especially. Why? Probably to break Maedhros. (Also, revenge for the rescue, maybe.)

Gwindor gets unlucky chance (that's what happens when you go to war against your king's orders, I suppose)

The Noldor get really motivated and almost win. Morgoth is trembling of fear XD as they bang at his door. This is pretty cool of them. But then they all die. :(

Another turn: the Noldor might have won, but Ulfang. :( [Maglor kills him and it's probably the only named character that we are told is killed by Maglor, which is interesting]

Also, Glaurung is there.

Fingon dies. Also, his banner is silver and pale blue, which I did not remember.

Hurin, Turgon, foreshadowing for Earendil. Maeglin hears it all, but does not comment, and he remembers it and I have no idea why the book tells us that, this line feels so odd. "Maeglin, Turgon's sister-son, who stood by, heard these words, and did not forget them; but he said nothing" It's apparently odd to more people because there's a reddit thread about it. huh, ok, makes sense.

So, Hurin is brave and great and I will need to make a post about how the story is an ecosystem and the benefit of one character's heroics sometimes lands to another character's lap and it's painful but also quite real. So. Hurin. But we'll get back to him later.

Morgoth is happy, because divides and betrayal and stuff like that. :/

Also this (Ulfang) is why the Elves don't like Men anymore (except the Edain).

Cirdan is besieged, allo we learn that there are Orcs who can use explosives, and orkish engineers and what not. Interesting. they destroy the ports, Cirdan&co escape to the sea and to Balar.

Turgon again sends ships to Valinor, again it doesn't work (again I suppose he didn't ask Ulmo about his opinion or ignored it), and we are told who kills those sailors: not the Valar. "Only one, Voronwe, was saved by Ulmo from Osse's wrath". So yea, it's the "not rebel, but not not-rebel" sea guy. Don't blame the Valar for this.

Turgon is the rightful king of the Noldor (says the book), Morgoth hates him, because Fingolfin, and because he's a friend of Ulmo, and because Turgon's vibe scares him. We have a wonderful line about how even back in Valinor Morgoth was anxious every time he saw Turgon and tbh this is criminally underexplored in fics (this whole period is) and must have been quite hilarious.

Hurin disses Morgoth, Morgoth curses him and his wife and kids, takes him high up, and curses him again for a good measure.

Results of that: in the next chapter.

[passengerseatsam]

we don't talk enough about the absolute negligent omission that is sam not keeping a journal like john's.

I don't know whether to blame the bunker again (x) or to simply blame the rapid change in culture around technology in the late-aughts. sam is generally shown to be an early adopter of technology, which is fine and IC enough, blah blah blah. it's also boring as fuck. every time late seasons sam is like "I downloaded a database of the entire men of letters library onto my laptop" i want to fist fight robert singer myself. you're telling me that noted academic lawboy@stanford.edu has gone the last 15 years without keeping notes??? I simply do not believe you.

MY personal hc is that he starts keeping a journal between seasons 3-4, but I also think it'd make sense as early as season 2, when he resigns himself to a life as a hunter (also, when sam is the most pro-dad). it starts as him writing down everything he can remember from his psychic dreams, tracking when his powers arise and what they do. of course, he's also making notes about cases the way john did— crocatta in milan, OH, etc.

mystery spot notes go crazy. every morning he wakes up and writes down what killed dean the day before, and every morning he wakes up to a fresh page, the previous tuesday's notes gone.

when he starts working with ruby, he tracks his progress like a science experiment, because to him it is. he keeps track of how much blood he's drinking, and how his powers change. when dean comes back, he thinks about ripping those pages out, but he can't bring himself to do it. he fills pages with research about angels, makes a list of questions he wants to ask them... then crosses it out when he decides that dean's right, angels are dicks.

in season 5, he sketches out everything he can remember about heaven, in case he forgets it all again.

soulless doesn't write anything down. he doesn't see the point. it gets pretty messy in season 7; he switches to enochian mid-sentence sometimes without noticing, and unconsciously doodles chains and hellfire in the margins.

the discovery of the bunker should really only add to his enthusiasm for meticulous notekeeping. If you want to digitize it, fine, I guess. but I personally think that a rigorous college education plus almost a decade of hunting should have him pretty set in his ways with a pen and paper. also he's had at least 2 laptops smashed.

give him a notion account at the very least

[nishisun]

2. How you met him & how he broke your heart.

A/N: THIS WHOLE CHAPTER IS A FLASHBACK! OKAY OKAY SO, YES, THIS IS AN SMAU, BUT ITS GONNA HAVE MORE WRITTEN PARTS 😁

NOTE (2024): this was made over 4+ years ago when i was a beginner writer so the writing is pretty much horrible. but im feel nostalgic and this has been sitting for the drafts for years that i thought, why not post? anways pls enjoy my very mediocre attempt at writing. there’s multiple parts so ill post until there are none anymore

flashback.

On December 21, your parents told you that they were separating. Your father claimed he fell out of love with your mother and already had a family in the US. You were devastated, to say the least. But mostly, you were confused. How could he? How could he do this to you, your sister, and your mother? They seemed so happy together. They never argued, well, not in front of you and your sister at least. They were the perfect couple. You looked up to them. You wanted to have what they had with your future significant other, and now your parents were telling you that they are separating because your father fell out of love?

pitiful.

Your father said he was leaving to go to the states in 6 months. Out of anger, your mother decided it was best to move, without leaving a trace of your father. She called this a clean slate. Moving meant you had to transfer schools. You were a third year, who was now going to be attending Itachiyama Institute, while your younger sister who was still in junior high was attending Okojo Middle School. Still, you couldn’t believe it. Your own father, the person you looked up to the most, was abandoning you, your mother, and your sister. Why weren’t you guys good enough for him? How come it’s so easy for him to leave? It just wasn’t fair.

What is love? Well, there are many ways to interpret the word “love”. When we love someone we experience positive thoughts and experiences with them bur we also experience a deep sense of care and commitment towards that person. Love means to be deeply committed and connected to someone or something. The feeling of love should be mutual with you and your significant other.

You loved Sakusa Kiyoomi. He was your first love.

You remembered the day you met. It was your first day at Itachiyama Institute  and your previous school was Nekoma High. You were the manager for Nekoma’s volleyball team, which meant that you’d go with them to practice camps, games, and you’d stay after school hours to help out, which was why you were so close to Kenma and Kuroo. You met Kenma and Kuroo when you were a first year, you and Kenma were in the same class and you volunteered to be a manager for the volleyball team, which resulted to you becoming bestfriends with Kenma and Kuroo. You both were now finally third years, Kenma was captain of the team after Kuroo left and Kuroo couldn’t have been more proud. At first, Kenma didn’t want to be the captain because he claimed it was “too much work”, but once you and the other team members forced convinced him to try it out, he ended up loving it.

Your first day at Itachiyama was okay, you didn’t talk much, or really make new friends. It was the same old, you’d introduce yourself in front of the class, then they’d greet you and ask you questions on how your previous school was or why you moved. At lunch, you sat outside, alone, until you saw two boys walk in front of you. One was wearing a mask and the other was smiling and waved at you.

“Hello! My name is Komori Motoya and this is my cousin. We have class together, right?” he said as he brought his right arm out, offering to shake yours.

“Oh, um yes, we do! Hi Komori, my name is L/N Y/N.” you said, shaking his hand. Once you both let go you looked at Komori’s cousin who was standing next to him, but was slightly behind him.

“You must be Sakusa Kiyoomi, right?” you said walking towards him. He didn’t say anything, he just nodded while his hands were placed in his pockets.

“Uh, how did you know that?” Komori asked as he chuckled, scratching the back of his head.

“Well, I know your name too. I’ve seen you and your team play! You guys are really good.” you explained, Komori shook his head in excitement.

“Oh, really? Are you into volleyball? Do you play?” He asked.

“Well, I’m not really good at it. I used to play in junior high, but I stopped once I got into high school. I love watching the games though! I was the team manager at my previous school.”

“Really? That’s amazing! Our team is looking for a team manager! You should really apply, i’m pretty sure the coach would be happy.” Komori said.

“Oh! Well, that’s great! I’ll check definitely come visit tomorrow after school.” You said as you started to pack your things because lunch was ending soon.

“That’s great y/n!” he said, “Well, we’ll see you around in class.”

“Yeah, bye!” You waved at the two and they waved back.

“Everyone, gather around! Meet the new addition to the managers for the team! The coach said.

“My name is L/N Y/N! I’m new here and I just transferred from Nekoma High!” you said, bowing your head. Some of the teammates were whispering once they heard you mention Nekoma. “I’m hoping to get to know you all better! I’ve seen you guys play before and it’s an honor to be working with you all! you said.

“she talks a lot.” Sakusa thinks, having a bored look on his face and makes a mental note of this.

“Trust me y/n, the pleasure is ours!” the coach chuckles.

You suddenly realize how the gym is full of boys who are basically towering over you and awkwardly laugh back, followed by an awkward silence. You then remembered about the homemade granola you had made for the team, which you had been carrying this whole time.

“Oh! I almost forgot! I made some homemade granola bars to show my gratitude towards you all.” You started to pass the bars out to each team member as they thanked you and praised you for how good the bars tasted. You were making your way to give a bar to the last person who hasn’t received it yet, which was Sakusa Kiyoomi.

He was taller than his other teammates, wearing a mask and it almost seemed as if he was giving you a look of disgust, judging by the way his face was scrunched up. He looked intimidating, but you didn’t want to judge someone off of their looks, so you walked up to him and tried to start a conversation with him.

“Hello, Sakusa! I just wanted to thank you and Komori for coming up to me yesterday. It meant a lot considering the fact that I was new and i’m not very good at making friends-“

“You talk a lot.” Sakusa interrupted, his cousin heard him since he wasn’t that far away from you both and quickly walked up to him.

“Sakusa! It wouldn’t hurt you to be nice and not so upfront all the time!” his cousin said.

“I’m kidding!” sakusa says to his cousin, shaking his head and chuckles, then turns back to you.

“I’m kidding,” He repeats once again, “Sorry that I wasn’t really talking yesterday. I’m not good with people either.” He says and you both laugh. “I’m pretty sure you’re the person i’m supposed to be showing the school around to tomorrow.”

“Oh, yeah. You don’t really have to if it’s going to-“

“You really do tend to ramble a lot.” he interrupts once again. He won’t tell you, but he finds it cute how flustered you get, you seem so innocent.

“Sorry, it’s a bad habit of mine.” you scratched the back of your head and laughed a bit.

“All right everyone, Time to pack up!” the coach said, getting up from the bench.

“See you tomorrow?” Sakusa says.

“Yep!”

“Bye Y/N!” Komori says as he waved at you. You waved back and started to pack things up and went home.

1 and a half years later.

“Omi, have you seen my shampoo? I left it here at your place and I checked the bathroom and it wasn’t there anymore.” you said as you walked out of his bathroom, wearing nothing but a towel.

“No babe,” Sakusa says, “Just use mine. It isn’t that big of a deal. We can buy you your shampoo once you finish taking a shower if it’s bothering you this much.”

“It’s fine. I was just checking to see if you saw it, it isn’t that big of a deal.” you assured him with a smile.

“Maybe I should join you in the shower?” Sakusa suggested, “saves more water.”

“You’re too much.” you laughed, “let’s go shower!”

You and Sakusa finally graduated high school and decided to take a year break before attending college to spend time together since Sakusa wasn’t planning on going to college. You guys didn’t live together, He had an apartment of his own that was near your house and you’d stay there most of the time. Which meant, more sex.

Of course, it took sakusa some time to be comfortable to have sex with you, but he trusted you a lot. he knew you were clean and you took proper care of yourself

not staying abstinent from sex is something you regret, but are happy that you forgot to take the pill that one day. If you had, you still would’ve been with Sakusa. But since you didn’t, you ended up pregnant and gave birth to the person that makes you the happiest, your daughter.

You remember taking the pregnancy test, your heart dropped.

“fuck. i’m fucked.” you muttered.

Your hands were shaking as you held the pregnancy test, which said “positive” and your fingers were slowly becoming more cold by each passing seconds and your anxiety was getting the best of you.

what is sakusa gonna say? he already said he didn’t want kids. what was your mother going to say? Oh, your mother was going to kill you. Sakusa isn’t gonna like this at all. Maybe he will? Maybe he’ll tell you everything is okay and that he’ll be with you every step of the way. Should you tell Komori to tell him? No. Sakusa won’t believe him and it’ll result in him asking you anyways. Kenma! text Kenma. Then text Akira. They’ll know what to do. Wait! you need to make sure you’re 100% pregnant. This is only one test. there’s no way you’re pregnant.

So you took 2 more test. All of them were positive.

“shitt.” you took a deep breath in and closed your eyes. Tears were threatening to spill and the once appetite you once had was now gone. You were in Sakusa’s apartment bathroom, he had gone to go pick up the food you had ordered for the movie night you and him were planning to have.

You quickly got out of the bathroom and made your way to your phone to call Kenma and tell him. By now you were sobbing.

“Y/n, are you 100% sure you’re pregnant?” he said in a firm voice. He too was trying not to panic.

“Y-yes! I’ve taken like th- three test now!” you said, you were breaking down and it was hard for you to even speak clearly. “Kiyoomi i-is not going to be happy at all. I only missed one day of not t-taking the pill.”

“Y/n, i’m going to need you to breathe for me. You may not believe me now, but everything will be okay. You have to tell him. He will still love you. Isn’t it his baby?” he asked, this annoyed you. Why did he even ask that? obviously it was his. Kenma didn’t mean any harm when he asked you, but you took it to offense.

“O-obviously kozume. Why would you even ask that?” you were pacing around in the living room, trying to calm yourself down. “Kenma he’s here. He just texted me he’s outside and he’s-he’s coming. I’m scared, i don’t know how to handle this.”

“Y/n, please breathe. Everything is going to be okay please calm down, okay? You got this. If you want me to come over I can. Do you still want me to stay on the line?” he asked.

“N-no, I’m fine. Thank you Kenma. I’m gonna hang up now.”

“You’re welcome y/n. I love you.” he said, a smile resting on his face.

“love you too.”

you quickly went back to the bathroom to throw the pregnancy test away and hid it further in the trash so Sakusa wouldn’t find it. You quickly washed your face, so it would look like you weren’t crying and if he asked you why your eyes were so red you’d just say soap got in your eyes. Right when you finished washing your face, Sakusa entered the place, immediately heading to the kitchen sink to wash his hands.

“Hey,” he said grabbing the soap next to him and rubbing it with his hands.

“Hey.” you said softly, placing one hand on your opposite arm and walking towards him to embrace him.

“Happy anniversary, I love you so much.” He said, hugging you and burying his head in the crook of your neck. 

“I love you more, Kiyoomi.” you said. He pulled away and stared at your face in mischief and then squinted. 

“You don’t usually call me Kiyoomi unless you’re upset or worried about something. What’s up?”

Shit.

It was a bad habit of yours. When something was bothering you, or when you were upset, you’d usually call Sakusa, Kiyoomi. Usually you’d call him by his nickname, which was Omi.

“It’s nothing, Omi. I’m hungry! Let’s eat!” you say as you tried to hug him again, but he doesn’t budge.

“y/n, come on, i know you.” he says softly, as you both stood in the kitchen. He stares at you for a little longer, tucking the strands of your hair behind your ear, easing your tenseness so you could feel comfortable enough to talk to him and then cupped your cheek. “Talk to me- wait, have you been crying?”

Ugh.

you’re crying again. you’re crying really hard. Sakusa starts to panic at the random burst of tears that are falling at a rapid pace and pulls you in for a tight hug, not caring that you haven’t washed your hands yet.

“hey, hey, y/n shh, it’s okay.” Sakusa says, stroking your hair softly. “baby, talk to me. Tell me what’s wrong, please.”

You sob on his chest, he slightly cringes at the thought of your tears wetting his shirt, but he doesnt mention it.

“N-no, I cant. You’ll hate me.” you say, burying your face in his chest. Sakusa lets out a sigh of confusion and continues to stoke your hair.

“I’m pretty sure there’s nothing you could do that would make me hate you y/n. I love you, dummy.” he chuckled, you laughed as well and let go of him and wiped your tears. You took a deep breath and then let a out a forced laugh and then faced Sakusa.

“Okay,” You said letting out a sigh, “I’m,”

“you’re?”

“Never mind, I cant do this.” you walked away from him and ran to the bathroom and locked yourself there and started breaking down. Sakusa was quick to follow you, but you locked the door. You were confusing the hell out of him. He thought you were trying to break up with him.

You couldn’t tell him. Not when he had already told you he didn’t want kids. Did you even want kids? Aborting the baby was not an option. Knowing the type of person you are, you’d probably feel too guilty and you didn’t need that guilt following you for the rest of your life.

“Y/n, I understand you may need space right now. Whenever you’re ready please talk to me, I love you.”

Why was he so good to you?

About 30 minutes later, you finally come out from the bathroom and you see Sakusa scrolling through his phone. The food he had ordered was still on the table, probably cold by now.

“Hey,” you said walking up to him and sitting next to him on the couch.

“Hey,” he smiled, “you ready to talk to me now?”

“uh, yeah.” you took a deep breath, and Sakusa patiently waited for you to speak up.

“So, you know how I’m on birth control?” you asked, he cocked his head and furrowed his brows, wondering what birth control had to do with what was bothering you.

“yes..”

“Oh, okay.” you said, you took another deep breath in, then out, then you closed your eyes because you felt tears rushing down again.

“Y/n,” sakusa says softly, You rest your head on his chest once again, and he continues to softly rub your back. “Y/n, you’re scaring me. Are you breaking up with me?”

“No!” you say as you lift your head up to face him. You cup his cheek gently and give him a soft smile. “no, i’m not baby.” You put your hand down and faced forward, while sakusa was staring at you from your side. Sakusa gives a sigh of relief.

“I’m pregnant.” you blurted out.

“what?” he heard you, he just didn’t know if he heard it right.

“Kiyoomi, i’m pregnant. it’s yours.” you’re facing him now, but he looks away. He lets go of the hand that was once holding yours and faces forward.

“Omi, please say something.” you say, you started to get worried and you felt a weird sensation in your stomach as if you were about to throw up.

“Are you sure y/n? Is this some type of prank because if it is-“

“no, it’s not a prank. i’ve taken three test and they were all positive, kiyoomi. i’m pregnant.”

“holy shit.” is all he mutters, he places both of his hands together and they land on his face and the face he was currently making was unreadable. You couldn’t tell if he was mad or upset, but he certainly didn’t seem happy one bit.

“is that seriously all you’re gonna say?” you scoff, he doesn’t look at you, he’s still facing forward.

“take another test,”

“what?”

“take another test,” he repeats, now getting up from the couch and pacing up and down the living room. “you need to take another test.”

“i already told you, i took three and they were all positive-“

“just take another test y/n, damn it!” your eyes widen at his sudden burst of anger, he’s staring at you, boring his eyes onto you and then he quickly looks away and takes a steady breath in. “i need to see this for myself, just take another test, okay?”

you scoff.

you wipe of the tears on your face and you walk to the bathroom rather quickly, sakusa following not far along.

you open another one of the test that you haven’t used yet without saying a word to sakusa, he’s leaning on the bathroom door with the same bored expression he usually has on his face.

once you’ve finished, you wait a few minutes for the test to see it’s results.

positive.

“are you satisfied? or do i need to take another test?” you mutter, sakusa looks at the test that is now placed on this sink, crossing his arms.

“we can’t keep this baby-“

“what? what are you talking about?” you interrupt him. Is he being serious? He doesn’t have a say on what whether you keep the baby or not.

“y/n, think about it!” he explains, walking closer to you, “we’re 18, and i have a career that i’m working hard on and you have college-“

“are you being serious right now, kiyoomi?” you raise your voice and back away from him with a hurt expression on your face.

“Y/n, it wouldn’t be smart to keep this baby. We can’t be parents right now. I’m not ready to be a dad yet,” he’s not raising his voice because he’s trying his hardest to avoid an argument. “I cant- i can’t do this.”

“w-what?” you feel tears forming again. What can’t he do? What is he trying to say? “Kiyoomi, look, I know this is a lot. Trust me it’s a lot for me too! But i’m keeping this baby. It’s our responsibility since we weren’t responsible enough.”

He scoffs at this and shakes his head “we? we weren’t responsible? last time i checked, you were the one who didn’t do your part. all you had to do was take one damn pill. is it seriously that hard?”

He can’t seriously be blaming you right now.

“I’m sorry y/n, but i seriously can’t be a dad. We already said that we’re not having kids. They’re messy, annoying and not to mention, they cause too much stress. You have to abort the baby-“

“I don’t have to do shit,” you interrupt once again, you were crying, you were so upset. This was so unlike kiyoomi. you felt nauseous, and it wasn’t the baby. “And i never said i didn’t want kids, we never even agreed on that, you just said you didn’t want them. What happened to you? Yeah, we’re young, but i’m willing to make that sacrifice. All you’re worried about is your stupid volleyball career. I told you i’m keeping this baby and if you aren’t okay with that, then maybe we should break up!” You were yelling, too caught up in the moment to realize what you had just said, it was a lot for Sakusa to process. It’s only normal that he’d be suprised but it doesn’t mean he had to put all the blame on you. You were already aware it was partly your fault, and now you were willing to own up for your mistakes. Why wasn’t he? He looked at you in shock, then walked back and forth and you kept your eyes on him wondering what he would say next.

“you think so?”

“There’s no point in being together if you don’t want to be in this baby’s life, Kiyoomi. You know this.”

“So what, you’re just gonna let go of what we have that easily?” he asked, everything he was saying was getting on your fucking nerves.

“You think it’s easy, Kiyoomi?” you let out a humorless laugh, “You think it’s easy for me to let you go? You are literally my the love of my fucking life. The first person who made me have butterflies in my stomach when all you’d do is just stare at me. Now that a baby is on the way things are obviously going to be changing and i need to put this baby first before everything and you’re obviously not willing to do that and It hurts- it fucking hurts that you didn’t even assure me that everything was going to be alright. That you’d still love me and be right by my side even though Ive decided that i am keeping the baby. I had to call kenma right before you came and even he said you’d assure me, but you didn’t. I’m not even upset at you for being suprised, but there are better ways to react Kiyoomi, especially in situations like this. You saying you’re not ready to be a dad is okay, but the fact that you aren’t willing to make the sacrifice hurts. So don’t say it’s easy for me when you’re the one that’s letting go.”

By the time you finished speaking, you were choking on your own sobs and you could barely even speak clearly. Sakusa looked like he was on the verge of tears, but he probably didn’t want to cry in front of you. He didn’t say anything either or make eye contact with you either. He just headed to the kitchen and started cleaning out any leftovers that were too old in the fridge. You aren’t even suprised. You see, Sakusa doesn’t like opening up to people. The thought of being so vulnerable and opening up like what you had just did scared Kiyoomi. He wanted to be the one that would cheer you up when something was bothering you but when it came to him, he’d keep his emotions or how he was feeling to himself. It was a bad habit of his but you still loved him and understood that it would take some time. Yes, it does hurt that he didn’t say anything after you literally opened up, but maybe this was how it was supposed to end.

You looked at him with such disbelief. You scoffed and then wore your jacket and shoes and left.

He didn’t chase after you, it’s not like you would listen anyways. All he did was say that he wasn’t ready to be a parent and how you should abort the baby. Did he think you were ready? Because you weren’t. But you were willing to make a sacrifice for this baby of yours. There’s no point in forcing him to become a father if that’s clearly not what he wants. That’s fine though, you know you’d have other people support you, even if it meant that Sakusa wouldn’t be supporting you anymore.

“Goodbye, Kiyoomi.”

[curio-queries]

I saw Jungkook's documentary this weekend and have just a few thoughts. If you're avoiding spoilers, don't click the cut!

The Hybe Documentary Format

So...as a reminder to you all, I do not have professional expertise in the film industry. I'm just a very discerning consumer. I also haven't seen Hobi's documentary and I watched Road to D-Day while I was quite ill last year so I only vaguely remember some bits. (I'll definitely be getting back to those sooner rather than later though as research for a series of posts I'm developing.) That being said, I think we have enough data points to state that Hybe has absolutely no interest in filmmaking techniques outside of music videos.

I did mostly enjoy my experience seeing this film yesterday and I'm always grateful for any amount of footage the members are willing to share with us but this 'documentary ' was worse than Jimin's Production Diary. Any of you that managed to make it through my rambling review will know how dissatisfied I was with that.

I Am Still is not a documentary, it's a mixture of showcase footage and behind-the-scenes clips, most of which has already been divulged in the various episodes and shooting sketches on YouTube. Honestly, if you're not able to see the film, just go rewatch all of the bangtantv content for JKs solo period and the showcase and you'll be up to speed with 85% of what was in the documentary.

There are definitely some expansions to the storylines featured in the bangtantv content; mostly being anything that wasn't overtly optimistic. For example, we learn a little bit more about just how sick JK was during the Seven/3D promotions. That content likely was pulled from the bangtantv edit because it would have put a damper on the promotions and given certain 'fans' a focus to fixate their vitriol. But overall, it feels more like an extended version of existing content rather than a new work. At least JPD didn't continually feed us footage we'd seen before.

I'm someone who gets completely bothered by previews spoiling content so I didn't watch any of the promos until after I saw it and I am so glad I skipped them because most of the 'original' scenes of the film were featured in least one of them. Alas, that's a separate issue of which I'm definitely in the minority.

Was There No Structure?

Kinda. Like JPD, there is a semblance of a structure: Attempting to follow the chronology of release activities for JKs GOLDEN album through the lens of JKs staement trying to prove that he is still worthy of everything he was being hailed as during the BTS group activities but I don't feel this was successfully executed. It jumps round enough and isn't very successful in explaining the events if you didn't already know about them. The film starts with the SEVEN performance at GMA and footage that we've already seen of JK recording SEVEN, not mentioning anything about the music video or really how JK got involved with the song in the first place. The rest of the story beats have similar missing points.

They have a vague narrative with the 'I Am Still' points but that's mostly carried by subs and a couple of moments that JK mentions himself. I'm not saying it's not true or wasn't top-of-mind for JK during this process but it's not the main point of many of the moment/messages he shared with us during this time period so it feels a little disingenuous since everything else jn this film really only makes sense if you've already seen quite a lot of behind-the-scenes content.

Honestly, it makes me question the intended audience. Obviously, they know that ARMY will shell out whatever we need to when there's new content from our members but most of us will have already seen all of the bangtantv content so we are already familiar with the most of the footage in this film. I genuinely don't think this was produced in such a way to be palatable for audiences not familiar with BTS so who does that leave? Our friends and family that are peripherally aware of the content but haven't learned the basics of JKs album? ARMY with short term memories only?

But again, it seems this film was compiled by an editing team and not lead by a director with experience in crafting a documentary. The only new footage that Ican guarantee was captured with the express purpose of being included in this film was the few clips of JK talking in the practice room with the albums displayed by him. But we all know that's where all of the promo clips were gathered as well. I have issues with that approach as well but I'll leave this point alone for now unless anyone is interested.

Suffice it to say, all of these suppositions over the past year about how JKs documentary was getting special treatment or even questioning about investment in a project up front are dead. This was a product assembled with bits of what they already had completely in-house which was sold for distribution.

So, Did We Learn NOTHING?

No, there are a few Golden nuggets (see what I did there?). I can't recall everything having only seen it once (and having a rather disruptive audience - I swear there were only dozen or so ppl in my theater but I forget how obnoxious teenagers can be. I'm glad they're enjoying and supporting but we really didn't need light sticks flashing during a film and how many times does one person need to get up to answer their phone during this runtime? Three according to the row in front of mine.)

Anyway, something I thought was interesting to learn was that Standing Next To You was initially recorded the day after JK heard it for the first time. And hearing a little more about how JK yearned to perform that song definitelygot me thinking a little more about it. We can't reach any conclusions just with this little nugget but it does open the door to some theories. Like perhaps they were initially planning to have JK record two separate albums? SEVEN and 3D would be the singles of the first and JK would perform them as we saw but perhaps STNY was originally planned to be the single of the 2nd album that would release while he was in the military and thus be unable to perform it? Maybe JK loved STNY so much that everything was grouped into one album and Never Let Go was the only track held back for ms? Definitely some theorizing space to be had now.

Final thoughts?

Similar to my thoughts on the GCF: Budapest (which I feel would have had a much better reception if it had been labeled as a bangtan episode rather than a GCF), I AM Still should not have purported to be a documentary. It was much more similar to the annual Memories compilations. But the general public would not have shelled out the $25 to go to a theater to watch a Memories DVD so alas, we have our content packaged as a ~documentary~...

Did my view on the music change at all? Not because of the documentary. We're coming up on the year anniversary of GOLDEN and it's still definitely not my favorite. I completely understand why some people like it but it's just not to my taste. The overall impact falls a little flat for me. Too much breadth and not enough depth. I came into my musical soul during the 00s emo phase and will always be a sucker for music that absolutely drips in an emotional way rather than catchy songs vaguely referencing heartache and love. Again, just a matter of viewpoint.

I do think most of these songs stand much better being shuffled amongst other artists in a Playlist and several of them are significantly better when JK sang them live but I still won't be listening to them regularly. I wholeheartedly believe JK completed his task of proving himself as an extremely dedicated and versatile singer and performer. He's definitely got some solid points added to his resume after this project.

[lil-frenchfri77]

Begin Again Chapter 2

Summary: Ever since Bella came back to Forks things between y/n and her boys have been different. Embry and Quil stopped answering phone calls and texts, they’ve even been avoiding her everytime she shows up at their house. So y/n does the only thing she can think to do, she latches onto Jacob just like Bella, and when he starts acting like Embry and Quil did, she makes the decision to not put so much effort into a friendship that is clearly one sided. But what happens one day when Sam’s pack is in town at the same time as y/n and her new friends and two certain boys imprint on their former best friend? And what happens when a former best friend doesn’t feel the same way?

Authors note: Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!! I am actually so freaking excited that so many people liked the first chapter. When I posted this I never thought that I would be getting any kind of traction or reads but the 20 people that liked my first chapter are really making me feel good about myself and my writing skills. I don't know how consistent my chapter updating will be I have a really hard time with sticking to things but the enthusiasm i'm feeling after posting for the first time is really making my productivity flow.

Not beta read, lemme know If there are any egregious spelling or grammar errors and I will 100% go back and fix it

Word count: 1.8k

Embry Call x Fem!Swan!Reader x Quil Ateara

Slight Stiles Stlinski x Reader

Chapter 1 | Master list | Chapter 3

For the next two weeks your routine is almost exactly the same. You meet Scott and Stiles by your locker every morning and sit with their friends at lunch. It is such a crazy thing to think that if you had gotten to school any later that day then you would have never met them. And looking back, you can’t imagine not being friends with them now. They were filling the void that Embry and Quil had left in your heart. 

Your life was looking up and you were doing great, even Bella seemed to be doing better. She was hanging out with you and Jacob, and had even started going out with some of the kids from school. You and Stiles were getting closer to each other too. You spent most of your time in class, the ones you shared, talking to him and goofing off. You both had gotten in trouble a few times but that didn't deter you from talking. Like now. 

“Hey, so I was thinking about going into town this weekend, I need to do some clothes shopping and I was wondering, if perhaps, you’re free?” You had been meaning to ask him for the past few days but you had only now just worked up the courage. It was the first time you would be spending any time together outside of school and you were nervous. 

“Oh, uhh. Yeah totally!” His response was almost instant and the way that his cheeks turned a light pink told you that he didn't mean to answer you that fast. “Um, I mean, Yeah. I’m down to go with you.” Stiles blushed even harder and then turned forward to pay attention to what the teacher was saying. 

“Okay, cool. I’ll come pick you up around noon on Saturday?” 

“That’s good.” That was the end of the conversation. It seemed he was too caught up in the fact that you had asked him out to remember to talk to you for the rest of class. 

After school that day Jacob was leaning on your car, waiting for you to come out. He had been doing this a lot lately, waiting for you to get out of school so he could get a ride from you back to the reservation. Which didn’t really make sense to you but you figured if he liked doing this then why change it. 

“You will never guess what I did today.” It was the first thing that came out of your mouth when you got close enough to him. You couldn't wait to tell him about your hang out with Stiles on Saturday. “I asked Stiles on a date and he said yes!” You couldn't contain your excitement.  It was too hard to give him the time to guess what you did so you decided to just tell him. 

“Wow, that's a big step for you.” Jacob smiled, glad to see you happy. He knew that after the last few months you had that you deserved all the happiness you could get. “When are you going? Your sister asked me to go to the movies with her and this Mike guy on Sunday night and I really don't want to have to deal with it all alone.” 

“Well, we’re hanging out Saturday afternoon so I'm totally free to go with you guys on Sunday.” Jacob had had a crush on Bella for as long as you could remember, but you knew that he didn't want to be stuck in an awkward situation with her and some other guy. 

“Sooooo?” Stiles drawled, “what exactly are we looking for? Or what exactly are you looking for?” You two had been out for about 2 hours now and so far all you had found was a puffy green jacket and a pair of fluffy brown socks, which you only bought because they matched Stiles eyes. 

“I don’t know yet. I guess I'll know when I see it.” Your reply was nonchalant but you knew exactly what you were looking for. You just didn't want to let him know before you actually found it. Last week when you and your dad were in town you had seen a book that Stiles had been talking about religiously and with his birthday coming up you thought it would be the perfect gift. 

“Do you want to grab lunch too or do you want to just eat at my house?” you ask him, not seeing the way he turns to look at you with heart eyes. 

“We can go to the diner after you're done shopping.” He suggests. 

“Yea totally.” 

That’s when you heard it, the loud rumble of laughter from a group of boys at the other end of the street. You both looked up to where the noise came from. A slight gasp came from your parted lips as you saw Quil and Embry play fighting with the other boys from Sam’s group. Your face dropped as the two boys seemed to look up in unison and lock eyes with you. 

“Do you know them? They look like they know you.” Stiles asked, looking over at you to see you in some kind of trance staring at them. “Hey, y/n/n? Are you okay?” 

That seemed to snap you out of whatever daze you were stuck in. You looked away from them and back to Stiles before nodding and grabbing his hand to drag him into the nearest building. Which happened to be the bookstore you were looking for in the first place. 

“Sorry about that, they were just some old friends of mine. We don't really talk anymore and I haven’t seen them in some time so it was kind of shocking.” The apology spilled out of your mouth before you could stop it but that make it untrue. It was hard seeing them like that, happy and having fun when they left you feeling the way that they did. But you also couldn't help feeling a sort of resentment at them. 

“Nah it’s alright.” He dismissed taking a look around the bookstore. You had completely forgotten why you were in this store for a second, but when you remembered you had to hurry and spot the book before he could. 

Luckily you were able to find it and discreetly buy it while he looked around the store and grabbed a few things off the shelfs. When he was done checking out you slipped your hand into his, locked fingers, and led him out of the store. 

They had never felt like this before. As they locked eyes with you they saw their future flash before their eyes. You, Embry, Quil, and a happy little family. The euphoria and sense of calm that washed over them as they saw all of this was the most exquisite feeling either of the boys had ever felt. It was like nothing they had ever experienced and they had an inkling that they would never feel it again without you. 

When they watched you grab that boy's hand and run off it was like their entire world came crashing down. Their hearts, now beating in unison, felt like they were cracking. Before they could ever have you, you were gone and with someone else. Embry looked away first, face crumbling under the weight of these newfound emotions. He had never felt anything so fast, and to have it all ripped away from him so suddenly felt like a knife right into his soul. 

Quill was no better. The two boys had always shared everything growing up, they were the closest to each other of all the pack members. So it made sense that they would imprint on the same girl. And of course that girl would be their childhood best friend. The same girl they pinned after for years before turning for the first time and never speaking to her again. It was the hardest thing they ever had to do, and now, because of their actions, they were reaping the consequences. 

The dejection and rejection they were feeling was amplified by each other, every emotion coursing through their veins heightened by what the other was feeling. They wanted to whine and curl up into a ball at your feet and beg you to forgive them for the rest of their lives if that's what it took to make it up to you. 

It seemed as though the other boys around them knew not to say anything. No teasing remarks or mocking jabs were taken at the expense of the boys. All of them could sense that Embry and Quil had just imprinted on you. Everyone saw the way that you ran off like the sight of them would burn you if you looked for too long. 

“Come on, I think it’s time to head back.” it was Sam who spoke up. Always the one to take charge and take the lead in situations where no one knew what to do. But even now, he was struggling to find the right words to say or the right actions to take that could help these boys. He had never heard of an imprintee rejecting their mate. 

“No, but, we should go talk to her.” Embry whined out. Just the thought of leaving you behind after just finding out that he was supposed to spend the rest of his life with you sounded like agony. He would rather never be able to shift again than leave without you. 

“I think it's pretty clear that she doesn’t want to talk to either of you right now. Give it time. Think about how you want to approach her, what you’ll say. Right now is not the time or place for any of this, especially after that reaction.” Sam reasoned. He knew that getting everyone back to the pack house right now was his only option. He couldn't let Quil or Embry do something stupid and impulsive that could put people in danger. 

Everyone could see the way that the two boys hesitated to do what Sam asked. The longing and desire to be with you, so present in their eyes that they were waiting for something to happen. So Sam did the only reasonable thing he could think to do in that moment, and he commanded everyone to head back to the pack house at that instant. 

Begrudgingly Embry and Quil did as they were told and turned around to head back to the house. Looking back every so often, while the shop you had disappeared into was still in sight, to see if they could catch another glimpse of you through the windows or see you leaving. Just as the shop was about to disappear from their view the door gently swung open and you walked out laughing, head thrown back and a hand on your stomach as you full body cackled at whatever the mystery boy you were with voiced. Said boy, who was holding your other hand as he exited the building after you.

It tore their hearts even further in two. So with their tails, real and figurative, tucked between their legs they made their way back. Heads hung low and spirits completely drained.

What had started out as a normal Saturday had officially become one of the worst days of their lives.

[nerdsinc]

after 30 hours of work, i finally drew every single version of matoro, redesigned in my style! he's my favourite character of all time so i decided to put a ton of love into this drawing. theres lots of little cool details which ill go into more depth on under the cut!

(as always, PLEASE reblog so my art gets circulated!! it would be very, VERY appreciated! thank you, ily!!)

every version of him has a sad expression, though i tried to make it the most prominent in the last three. i think hes just tend to have a sad look in his eyes even when hes not actually that sad.

his 2nd matoran form has the gear part stylized to look like a tail, and i added a shorter version to the 1st matoran form to imply that it just 'grew' over time

his toa inika design has the same tail as the first two matoran forms, but its been broken, the gear no longer on it. it shares the same transparency as the other parts of his design, and is shaped like a lightning strike to call back to how he became a toa in the first place

the toa mahri design doesnt quite have a tail, instead having the tube broken, having the silhouette of a tail without actually being one.

the 2nd matoran design has a scarf, i like to imagine that he wore it almost constantly, but it was taken when he went to karzahni, and he never recovered it. kopaka later did, and ended up wearing it in memory of matoro

every design has the same hair-like mask (originally how i stylize the akaku), and has a asymetric design where one side is a bit longer. the mahri mask looks more like the akaku, however the iden looks less like it, with the ""hair"" being much longer and pulled back. this was to try and show how he didnt really feel like himself as a toa inika, and how that mask was very much so not him (as it was its own separate entity after all) but once he became a toa mahri he felt a bit more like himself again.

i tried to make it look like he was wearing winter gloves in most of the designs, though its most obvious in the 2nd matoran and mahri designs

i stylized the iden a bit so that it looked like he had horns, my thought process there was just kinda "karzahni = hell so i guess it makes sense"

each one has lines under their eyes, with the 2 matorans having ones similar to the markings on the akaku, toa inika having ones similar to the iden that also are meant to subtly look like tear streaks, and the mahri having ones that very subtly are meant to look like the lines on the ignika mask

more red accents on the mahri design, to call back to the red flag, and also to teridax/maxilos

while i didnt draw in most of their weapons, mahri kept the twin cutter and i just made it an attachment to his hand

the red axle piece in the mahri foot piece is actually a piece i thought was included in the set itself. i bought my mahri matoro second hand, and apparently along with him being in bad shape he also just had those parts added there for some reason? so i drew it in thinking that it was correct. just learnt today that that was false. but i like it so im keeping it

there mightve been more details i added, but thats all i remember right now!

[piratefern]

that's was Long and great explanation you can actually wrote a wattpad book of it! And I actually like the storyline it's really great and really felt bad for scp 049 :( honestly it was too much for poor birdie TvT

And yea why bother! I will like to read scp 035 one too ☆(≧∀≦*)ﾉ Thanks for taking my questions ( ˘ ³˘)♥

YIIPPEEEEE, thankyou so much :’D

alright with dyo, we’ll need some context too, in the sense that you will need to be aware of the original lore for Alagadda so id recommend reading the wiki if you haven’t already)

(Another note is that my version of Alagadda’s time doesn’t work linearly, so in this sense, it is entirely possible to enter alagadda during any time it exists, and exit to earth in a different era than when you left. It explains how the culture is affected by different eras in time, and this will be also important narratively!)

(He is originally from Alagadda as per the usual lore, except in my au he wasn’t banished to earth, and instead took refuge there, fleeing execution from the ambassador and other lords.)

In my au, dyo has a toxic sibling relationship with the other lords, ontop of this he’s also the shortest and the runtiest of the few and so was picked on, which lines him up to becoming the hanged king’s favourite as he was the easiest to manipulate.

Originally working as the jester for his king he is killed by a peasant uprising (as per the original lore) and is brought back to life three days later, offering his king a cup filled with the blood of his enemies gifted by the brothers death.

The lore follows the original story line from here in which he invites a bird like doctor to the palace to cure him of his influence of the hanged king (remember how time in alagadda isn’t linear? Yep, thats hasel! He finds a broken passage to alagadda after the point in which he has left dyo and just before the foundation finds him. He researches it and fixes it, hoping to find the “cure” for the vine on the other side)

Hasel doesn’t recognise dyo’s old form as the black lord and dyo at this point is yet to even meet hasel, and so neither of the two realise that they were intwined from the beginning.

after being cured by hasel and attempting to fight the influence of the hanged king, his execution is plotted against him by the other lords and the ambassador, and so, he escapes to earth.

yet, in my au the lords and the ambassador are still after dyo, but are unaware of his ware-abouts, Dyo destroys the portal which in turn wipes his entire memory, hoping that it will never be rebuilt again.

But didn’t hasel rebuild the portal? Uh oh! He did! Meaning he had unintentionally both freed and doomed his lover. Not only that, but the foundation had been tracking the signal that the portal had been omitting, causing the capture of both the portal and hasel! And, of course, the foundation would absolutely never destroy it!

On another note, sometimes memories of Alagadda will seep through the cracks, instances from the past that dyo forged reflect memories from his childhood and experiences in Alagadda.

Dyo landed in ancient Greece, and genuinely believes he is from there. He believes that he was a balatro (roman jester) for the king, and was fused to his mask by the ancient Greek gods as a punishment for stealing the golden wreath from the king of Rome.

However, it is evident that this story isn’t true, at the time Rome had a consul system not a king, and despite the fact Rome had capitulated Greece they didn’t share the same gods despite their similarities.

He makes his way through life, but aware of his immortality he drowns himself in alcohol and lavish parties. He doesn’t get close to anyone as he knows that they will one day die and that he will not, causing him to build bad behaviours, appear overtly cocky and confident, a tendency to avoid rejection as a side effect and a need to convince himself that everything is alright.

So! Imagine dyo, an immortal being, avoiding close relationships with anyone he meets and putting up a persona to avoid anyone liking him, finding another immortal being!I

He grows incredibly attached to hasel, for the first time in almost two millennia he doesn’t have to be alone anymore, he can finally learn how to open himself up and build on his issues and break down his persona.

But this causes abandonment and attachment issues, so you can imagine how he must have reacted when hasel leaves!

He can’t handle this, and embarks on a journey to find him again, this journey spanning over a century from WW1 to present day, in which he is also captured by the foundation and placed in the same facility as hasel… and the portal!

They are given their numbered codes 035 and 049, but with dyo being so close to the fixed portal he gradually begins to remember his past…

So yeah thats all im up to so far :3

i haven’t written anything past the foundation and the portal plot, but technically in the original draft i made with my partner a couple years back they escape with the help of Laurence (106). They learn to mend their broken relationship and also learn how to get along with laurence despite his creepiness, but that part is all old stuff so i might rewrite it. But the fact hasel leaves at WW1 was important, as this is around the time Laurence becomes anomalous, so it ties their stories in too :3