#which is a genre that's basically Extreme Horror

[moe-broey]

I ended up scrubbing my old Tomodachi Life file and playing it current day with all the personal developments is so insane. I have to play 4D gender chess just to have gay marriage. I'm demiaro/ace and romance makes me deeply uncomfortable for a variety of reasons but that is The Point like one of the funniest most major events to happen in the game. I have so much hatred for marriage as an institution esp as someone who's disabled but again. That is THE MAIN DRAW. To marry your favorite guy (in Mii form). I would never want children the idea is horrifyingly distressing to me I would be the worst father in the world but having Mii babies, again, is one of the funniest fucking things you can do in the game. Yes you can have universal birth control as an option but the Mii babies are SOOOO much funnier. I feel like there's a joke here about how playing as a mass murderer in a video game doesn't reflect who you are in real life but I just can't grasp it LMFAO

[planetdream]

AN EVENING IN THE WOODS !

CHARACTERS ! werewolf!bang chan, human!reader

GENRE ! horror/thriller but barely, smut [minors dni]

WORDS ! 3.3k

SYNOPSIS ! on a drunken game night, you're dared to take a little stroll through the woods after rumors of a werewolf lurking through the town.

THIS FIC CONTAINS ! more thriller than horror i think. mentions of alcohol. being chased/stalked; mentions of being 'kept'. reader desc. wearing long skirt + called 'good girl'. smut [dubcon(?)—reader is basically being used. d/s dynamics—predator versus prey. possessiveness. [rough] sex in the woods. monsterfucking ig. large cock channie <3. pussy eating. facefucking. cumplay + creampie. belly bulge oops. dumbification(?) growling..] used the word 'beast' a lot oops. it gets weird idk

💌 ngl...i think i forgot how to write smut u guys... this is partially inspired by a brief part in house of leaves by mark z. danielewski, but like, not really at all iykyk. anyway, as u kno, i always appreciate feedback <3

There’s a big difference between vampire hunters and werewolf hunters. The creatures are different from each other in both ferocity and nature; thus, the study and hunt of them will differ based on several factors. Hunters of said creatures are expected to know what to do in situations in which they are faced with such foul beasts. You, quite frankly, are neither a vampire nor a werewolf hunter. Inexperienced to the point where you couldn’t begin to imagine what you would do if faced with anything that is such a monstrous terror, let alone a werewolf. Yet, here you are, prancing around the cold forest like a delicious piece of meat, praying that you don’t cross paths with anything—man or beast.

About a month ago, men and women alike began disappearing from town in the late hours of the night, not to be seen or heard from again. In the following weeks, numbers of missing people have only risen, leading many to believe that there might be a serial killer on the loose. That, however, was only until word got around that a town drunkard had seen what he could only describe as a ‘terrifyingly large rabid dog’. ‘It had to be about six feet tall just standing there’, he said, swearing solemnly, even vowing to quit drinking in an effort to portray his seriousness. The man wept, “It was one of them werewolves. I swear by it.” 

Only from there did word travel through the town. Though, no one believed the drunk old man, laughing at his testimony—‘A werewolf? In this town? That’s impossible’—some treating it as some fable, or a game, even. Which is what leads to you, alone, in the woods tonight. A fun game of truth or dare with your friends—being a chronic truth picker, tonight (with a little liquid courage) you decide that you want nothing but to humor your associates, you chose dare—turns into you blindly making your way into the dark forest with nothing but a lamp, pocket knife, and a few neon stickers to help you make your way back; and that’s only if you’re not murdered. 

By the looks of it, the surrounding forest is empty. The only sounds come from the rustling of tree leaves mingling together due to the wind, the sounds of birds squawking in the far distance, and the snapping and crunching of twigs and leaves beneath your shoes. You trek your way through the trees and dirt extremely unnerved. Nothing has happened at all, and although you’re thankfully still alive and breathing, making your way through the clutter of trees and dead wood, you cannot help but be a bit frightened about the dreariness and uncertainty of the situation. 

It’s a cold night, predicted to snow a bit; temperature dropping lower and lower with each hour that falls. The sun had set a while ago and the purple-orange hue leftover has now faded from blue into black. And while the stars are beginning to show themselves—pristine and beautiful—the dark sky only adds to the dreariness of your walk through the forest. The sudden additional silence is eerie, nature has stilled completely. Although the echo of stillness is inexplicable, unusual; it comforts you—knowing that you would hear your assailant coming, should you come close to being attacked. 

When looking at your watch, you find that you’ve only been in the forest for fifteen of the required thirty minutes—it’s very possible that you can go the distance, turning on your heels and deciding to make your fifteen minute walk back to the edge of the dark forest; and most importantly, to safety. After all, your friends must be worried about you by now; maybe even surprised that you’ve really stuck to the dare. In a matter of minutes, this will be all over and you will be resting at home.

You had to have been walking in one straight direction, right? Maybe because it’s dark, and you, admittedly, have drunk quite a bit, but the placemarkers you remember sticking to the trees along your path are nowhere to be found. The light of your lamp shines against tree after tree, but they remain in their natural state, unchanged. Your eyes widen, heartbeat increasing as you look at the leftover placemarkers you hold in your hand, only six remaining of your original twenty—so you know you’ve used them. 

You stop in your tracks, not willing to venture any further than you already have. Mind racing, scanning and assessing all the possible things you can do, slowly slipping into a panic. You could scream as loud as you can, vocally expressing your need for rescue; but how likely is it that you’ll be heard, especially given how deep into this unchanging landscape you are. Perhaps you can continue walking ahead, only praying that you make your way out unharmed—after all, safety should have been just a fifteen minute walk ahead.

As you lift your foot a few centimeters off of the ground to make your first step, through the darkness of the forest and out of your peripherals, you swear you see a large shadow for just a split second—lurched over and next to a thick tree to your right. A chill runs down your spine and you shudder as you realize the presence of this creature; intimidating and dominant. Taking no chances, feet hitting the ground hard as you sprint through the woods, doing your best to escape this nightmare; real or otherwise. 

The action of running when you feel like you’re being chased, versus running because you are being chased, are quite similar. It’s all instinct, a gut feeling that you jump on, increased heart rate; it’s choosing to flee rather than to fight. The difference, in this moment, you realize, is the definite risk of getting caught. The consequences could prove to be unsatisfactory, at the very least, if you were to be caught by whatever it is that may be following after you. Although, looking behind, there’s nothing in sight—no sign of disaster nor danger. You continue along, albeit a lot slower than before, attempting to catch your breath a bit. Walking off trail just a bit to slow down and assess your next course of action. 

The snapping of a twig within your vicinity has you darting from the temporary hiding place. However, the predator is right on your trail, persisting in its hunt for flesh. You weave your way through the woods, brain firing off about escaping quickly without harm. The chase does not last long, though. One misstep taking you down, tumbling. Briefly, in your panic, you appear to meet eyes with the foul beast. Fear lodged in your throat, dry and brittle—crumbling into tiny little pieces that pester your insides like a million tiny beetles finding a dark, cavernous home. Stomach clenching, seizing as you cower in submission to your terror. Hands buried into the freshly fallen snow—previous footsteps already blanketed over and long gone. Never have you thought you would give up so easily; unsure if you’ve got it within you to fight back in the absolute worst case. 

Body stuck in place, paralyzed with fear once you hear the snow behind you crunch, a sign that the creature is inching closer to you. It’s like your life flashes before your eyes once you feel the snout of the creature pressed against the back of your neck, heat blowing against the back of your neck, followed by a short, deep snarl emitting from within the beast. The large presence behind you is undeniable. The way the creature towers over you is horrifying—a domineering and overbearing sense of power, exuding pride and strength in the form of body heat. It circles you, though you are too terrified to look towards it, despite the daring growl it emits. Heart racing, nearly about to jump out of your chest and run away itself. The creature begins to circle around you, and out of the corner of your eye you can see its feet—huge black paws. Oh great! You’ll be eaten alive. 

But then the feet of the beast turns into man, and slowly you raise your face to get a good look at its true face. He starts off as a blur initially, but the longer you look at him, the more recognizable he becomes. A face you’ve always seen lurking around town. Though despite the area being rather small, you’ve never formally interacted—only stared at each other from a distance then kept it moving. Tonight, however, you finally decided to walk up to him at the local bar whilst with friends, only for him to walk away without a word. ‘Oh, him? Yeah, Chan is just like that.’

“Mmm. What’s that smell?” Chan asks while humming. Arms caging you in against the tree as he presses his nose against your neck, right near a particularly sweet spot. “Smells heavenly. So sweet and delicious.” 

He continues to sniff you out, planting a small kiss to your neck before traveling lower, nose now pressed to the fabric of your clothing. Face pressed in between the valley of your breast, Chan takes a long, deep inhale. His eyes are closed as he pulls back, slightly smirking with clear contentment. Chan takes the material of your shirt pinched between his fingertips before tearing the shirt down the middle, groaning at your now exposed chest. His hands cup your tits, thumbs teasing at your nipples, as he runs his nose down the valley, before swiping back up with his tongue. 

Chan isn’t done, nose still pressed against your skin as he sinks down to his knees. Rough hands cupping your ass, squeezing, as he stops—nose pressed against your mound, breathing you in while trying to pull you closer, finally finding the source of that sweet, heavenly scent. He’s breathing heavily to the point that you can feel his hot breath against your skin through the thin material of your skirt; snarling as he takes in your scent. And he’s mumbling something down there—pussy hungry words about how fucking delectable you smell. Perfect to devour. 

Contrary to the petrifying circumstance, the rush of adrenaline you get in the moment is euphoric and exhilarating. Chan’s touch is hot against you, almost scorching, and leaves you wanting—no, needing more of him. 

He hikes up the long length of your skirt with ease, throwing your leg over his shoulder to force your hips towards his face, diving face first into your cunt. Tongue lapping up hungrily at your wetness, moaning and groaning without a care in the world as he gets the first taste of his meal. Plump lips sucking your clit, vibrating when he moans, causing you to shake and squirm, but Chan has a strong grip against you. He’s messy as he eats you—occasionally breaking free, not for air, but to spit against your cunt—as the lower half of his face is covered in your nectar; which he hopes never washes off, absolutely frenzied by your scent, cock hard and leaking cum, jumping at the thought of finally getting to fuck his cock into this sweet little cunt. 

While Chan is usually a patient man, having no problem in waiting—stalking his prey and then teasing them for hours upon hours on end—he finds himself struck with need. A particular need to feast. To fuck and destroy his prey. Days and days of stalking you, taunting you from afar, and you played right into his palm—obviously fated to be found afraid and lost, deep in his territory. It is at this point he thinks to keep you. Perhaps hide you away somewhere cold and dark where only he’d be able to find you. Keeping you bound to him until he gets sick of you—or until you cease to exist. Aching to fuck you over and over and over again until it becomes too difficult for you to even think about moving a muscle, succumbing fully to his torturous pleasure. He stops himself from thinking too far ahead all too soon, clearly entranced by the sweetness of your cunt. 

Chan springs to his feet; cock heavy, hard and curving to the right, tip swelling red with need and dripping with precum. Your eyes are glued to his cock as you watch him massage his right hand over it; even in his big palms his cock is huge. The excitement to take him spreads from the pit of your stomach and up your chest, visualizing into the form of goosebumps all over your arms. He just laughs at the look on your face; how equally intrigued and dismayed you appear. A perfect little lamb stalked and caught by the big bad wolf, unable to flee due to their own fascination despite their fright. 

Chan leans in, his lips against yours briefly. A hand curling into your hair to bring you down to your knees, you follow suit. His hand stays tangled in your hair, pulling harshly against your scalp. With his other hand, Chan strokes his cock, running his thumb over the tip; then pulling your head towards his tip. Eagerly, your tongue slips from your mouth, ready to taste everything he’s giving you. You swirl your tongue around him, but Chan has other plans, slowly sliding his cock into your mouth; helping you savor the slightly salty taste of his seed. Fixing your mouth open as wide as it can go, with both hands now tangled into your hair, he thrusts his cock in and out of your mouth, slowly increasing the speed of his thrust. 

“You just take it like a good girl, huh?” You don’t say anything, but that dazed look in your eye and the moan that escapes from deep in your throat tells Chan all he needs to know. 

“Perfect little mouth, but I bet that pussy is even better.” Chan frees his cock from your mouth with a trail of spit. His hand around his cock once again, the slick sound like music to your ears. Though, it’s at this point that the cold air is starting to get to you—the snow is light but still continuous—yet you power through it for just another taste of Chan. 

“Want you so bad,” You bite your lip, looking into his eyes, eyebrows furrowed together. You stand and stretch to turn your back to him, looking over your shoulder as you wiggle your backside towards him like a bitch in heat. Chan smirks at you, a small laugh erupting from him at the sight of your shamelessness.   

In the heat of the moment, Chan licks the palm of his hand before bringing it down to rub at your cunt from behind. He doesn’t say anything, but you can hear a long, deep snarl come from within his chest. The closer he gets to you, the louder the growl echoes, and the more he warms you with his body heat—caging you in against the tree. You grind into his hand, greedily taking anything he gives you. While Chan is steadily becoming just as impatient as you, he always spares time to play with his food; teasing the tip of his cock against your slit. Chan slowly slides into your cunt—a rough hand clenching onto your hip, nails digging into your skin; not nearly enough to keep him from losing his cool as your wetness encases his cock, wet and tight. 

You’re barely taking half of his dick before the stretch of it nearly becomes too much—but he’s one step ahead of you; arm snakes across your belly and down to your cunt, two wet fingers ready to play with your clit. Chan works his fingers against your clit slowly winding you up, all while planting a quick kiss against your shoulder; tongue drooling out to lick a long wet stripe against your neck. It’s only once he receives a moan from you in response that he starts thrusting into you slowly; the thrusts of his hips syncing with the movement of his fingers. 

It isn’t long before you’re taking more and more of his cock, being stuffed and stretched deliciously. Cunt leaking and begging for more of him. Chan lets out these harsh growls and grunts that contrast with the pitch of your moans. His nails dig into your hips, using a minimal amount of strength to pull your hips back against him, making you meet his thrusts. His hips smack against your ass roughly, cock stretching you further, but your cunt swallows every inch perfectly. That’s only until he slides out of you, wordless, yet, still letting out a snarl. He pushes you onto the ground, hands and knees crashing into the new layers of snow. You yelp out in response, but Chan can only laugh at you. 

“Just letting me push you around like this? I think I should keep you,” He follows you, kneeling onto the ground, cock in hand. Laying  a quick smack at your ass, he hums. “How would you feel about being my little plaything, huh?”

His free hand kneads against your ass while he plays with his cock. “Keep you locked up with me ‘n only let you out in these woods at night, hmm? All cute ‘n naked for me to hunt down and fuck again.”

“And you can’t even hide cause I’ll always find you, pretty.” He finally slides into your cunt, still not letting you have all of him, yet. “How does that sound? Do you like it?”

His words are filthy and so are his touches but somehow he’s got you entranced. You let out a loud, cracked sob of a yes in response to his inquiries as if he bullied it out of you. “Good girl.” 

Chan finally allows himself to break—hips snapping harshly into yours. Not caring if you go limp from the way he’s fucking into you, instead his hands are once again clenching your hips, grinding his hips against your ass whenever he thrusts his cock back into you. Your fists clutching onto the snow as you take his cock, unable to do much but drool and mewl for him. 

He presses his chest across your back, caging you onto the cold ground. His tongue once again flat against your skin, licking every inch of what exposed skin he has access to. Still pounding into you as he chases his impending orgasm. Then he sinks his teeth into the skin of your shoulder, letting out a whine rather than the usual growl as he fucks his cum into you. It’s hot, sticky, and heavy—and it seems like it’s unending; seemingly producing more and more as he pumps his cock into you. Slowly Chan reaches a hand down to press against your lower abdomen; feeling how your belly swells with all the cum his cock is feeding your cunt. 

You moan at the feeling when Chan pulls out of you with a sigh of exhaust. Cum coating his cock and spilling out of your cunt, staining your thighs. So much of his seed has spilled out and he’s no longer stuffing you with his cock, but yet you feel so full. Chan continues to incite, two thick fingers dip into your cunt to scoop up and play with the excess cum that’s dripping from your hole. 

Chan pulls you back to him by your arms, caging you against his chest. He whispers to you. “What if we played a fun little game, hm?”

He grips your chin and those same two digits that were once inside of you, force into your mouth, offering you another taste of Chan’s cum. There’s a hint of a smile in his voice, “Let’s say, I give you a ten second head start to run.”

Chan kisses the back of your neck and a chill runs down your spine. “The ten seconds start now.” 

He frees you from his hold, and springs to his feet leaving you dumbfounded. But by the time you stand and face the direction of Chan, legs weak and cold, he’s no longer there.

It seems his fun little game has officially started. 

© PLANETDREAM 2024

[linkspooky]

Ciel-Noel post

Revenge is bad, actually. Simple revenge in stories is boring and uninteresting and Kill Bill is a bad movie.

I dislike the idea of punitive justice in stories to begin with, at least in stories that don't look critically at it. However, I also think people often get punitive justice (a branch of moral philosophy) with the idea of narrative punishment (actions have consequences in stories). I'm not against narrative punishment at all, well-written stories should have direct consequences for all the important characters actions. If a character is a noble gas and no one reacts to their actions, then they are stagnant and unchanging. A character who is constantly reacting to other people, and provoking reactions in return, is a dynamic character.

Now that I've thoroughly buried the lead six feet under, let's get to the main event. Ciel and Noel is a tightly written tragedy in the horror genre. If you've ever watched a slasher movie before, horror operates on like, an extreme kind of narrative punishment. People always joke that if you have sex, or do drugs, or drink alcohol in a horror movie the slasher will kill you and yeah, that's basically it. Horror movies are relenting and unforgiving, you basically take one step out of line and get stabbed in the back for it. So, it's not at all surprising that in the same story where Ciel experiences a change of heart and goes from seeing Shiki not as a victim but another vampire to kill, to being willing to sacrifice everything to save him, Noel does not get saved. Doesn't that make Ciel a huge hypocrite going the extra mile to save her boyfriend, but putting a bullet in the head of the partner she's known for years to put her out of her misery? Why, yes. Yes it is. That's also the point.

Ciel (and Noel's) route in the Tsukihime remake are about two girls who are the victims of the same tragedy. One gets saved, one does not. One finds a person who will do anything to reach and redeem their humanity, the other does not. They both get worse and worse, but one is given a helping hand at their lowest point, and the other gets a bullet between the eyes. This is unfair, and cruel, and again the point. Nasu in the remake turned one of the routes with the happier ending into a bitter tragedy no matter which of the two endings you pick and it's great.

Nasu is a writer who understands the tools of storytelling and with Ciel and Noel, wrote a tightly constructed tragedy where both characters face a narrative punishment. Once again, narrative punishment means for every action the character takes in the story, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Characters don't get away scott free with anything. They reap what they sew. This gives the characters actions meaning, and feels like they are building towards an arc because there is an underlying point that the author is trying to make to us, by framing these characters actions in a certain light.

Nasu employs narrative punishment, sometimes even incredibly harsh narrative punishment (read every wrong choice in FSN where Shirou gets horribly maimed or just Shirou's life in general). However, Nasu does not believe in punitive justice. I mean, I made a joke about Oberon up above but like, Nasu literally wrote an entire FGO Lostbelt chapter showing how chaotic evil the fairies were, and then he still underlined it's wrong to punish people without a chance for redemption or atonement by making Oberon the final boss. Even Castoria who is an ultimate victim of the fairies who was locked in a barn and treated like an animal, and didn't even want to save them was still like "This is wrong, we should have given them some chance to redeem themselves."

That belief that punishment without the chance of redemption is wrong, is written into the core of Ciel and Noel's tragedy.

So anyway, let's get to the part where I start recapping the story with analysis so you guys have some frame of reference for what I'm talking about. Noel is a previous victim of Roa, a vampire that continually reincarnates by hijacking bodies. A victim of ROA slowly becomes possessed until the two personalities effectively merge, at which point Roa goes on a killing spree. This happened to Ciel in her french village, Ciel noticed intrusive thoughts of a voice in her head telling her to kill her family, kill her family, kill her family, and did her best to ignore and suppress them until she couldn't. She then tore out her parent's throats, and then went on a rampage only to be killed by arcueid a short while after. Not before killing basically everyone in the town except for Noel.

Ciel and Noel are the lone survivors of ROA's massacre, and both victims of ROA himself. Ciel and Noel are also the same person, so like, write that down. Are you taking notes? This is gonna be a long post you better be writing down bullet points. Big bullet point number one, Ciel and Noel are the same person this is going to be on the test later.

Is the massacre, and all the deaths that occurred Ciel's fault?

No, you'd think logically being possessed by someone else and only having your agency taking away from you would clear you from responsibility.

However, Ciel was taken in by the catholic church afterwards and they weren't having any of that forgiveness shit. Ciel after miraculously recovering from her death at Arcueid, no longer under Roa's possession, is killed repeatedly by the church, only to find she's immortal now. No matter how many times they try to torture her, or execute her to give her justice for the victims of the massacre it doesn't work. So, instead they eventually just recruit her to be a vampire hunter. Bla bla bla, metaphor for how punitive justice doesn't actually accomplish anything, bla bla bla, metaphor for how Ciel's way of redeeming herself by hunting down and punishing other vampires (which is also just revenge) doesn't work because there's no end to it, there's no forgiveness or absolution, it's just eternal suffering. Would a loving god who created the world and preaches about forgiveness really make a hell where all the really bad people get sent to, and never get any chance of redemption?

“A God who could make good children as easily a bad, yet preferred to make bad ones; who could have made every one of them happy, yet never made a single happy one; who made them prize their bitter life, yet stingily cut it short; who gave his angels eternal happiness unearned, yet required his other children to earn it; who gave is angels painless lives, yet cursed his other children with biting miseries and maladies of mind and body; who mouths justice, and invented hell--mouths mercy, and invented hell--mouths Golden Rules and forgiveness multiplied by seventy times seven, and invented hell; who mouths morals to other people, and has none himself; who frowns upon crimes, yet commits them all; who created man without invitation, then tries to shuffle the responsibility for man's acts upon man, instead of honorably placing it where it belongs, upon himself; and finally, with altogether divine obtuseness, invites his poor abused slave to worship him!” ― Mark Twain, The Mysterious Stranger

So, already we're touching on both justice, and also the hypocrisies of certain western religions, by Nasu demonstrating that justice without forgiveness accomplishes nothing. Ciel trying to redeem herself in the eyes of the church is truly the sisyphus pushing the boulder up the hill of redemption arcs, because there's no forgiveness, only hard labor for her sins. Ciel will just keep killing vampires to atone until she dies, but she can't die, so that boulder will keep rolling up that hill.

This is the underlying point of Ciel's entire arc, Ciel does not save anybody. She kills vampires. By killing vampires she hypothetically stops them from killing future victims, but that's not saving them. One of the most poignant things I've ever read from Nasu was from UBW where Shirou says more or less if there's a bank robber holding up a bank, and a cop comes in and shoots the robber through the chest, that might save all the hostages but the bank robber didn't get saved. You might say, well obviously, you can't save everyone. It makes sense that you'd save the innocent victims first. At which point I would say yes, I know, I have in fact consulted the ancient texts, UBW is my most replayed route.

However, Ciel and Noel's conflict gets that same point across because there are no innocent victims between the two of them. Ciel and Noel are both victimized, robbed of their agency, and go on to do terrible things, but one of them is saved and one is not. Noel isn't the bank robber in that metaphor, she's the hostage who was cooperating with the bank robber because the robber had a gun to her head, who the swat team decided to snipe through the window.

Noel is introduced as an entirely new character in the remake, she is the only other survivor of the massacre. While Ciel has memories of herself committing the crimes and feels guilt for that, Noel watched everyone die and was tortured for days on end by Roa in Ciel's body for their amusement (someone who was so insignificant to them, that Noel refers to herself as just one chip in a bag of chips Roa was snacking on. That's right, Noel is a cheeto in the grand scheme of things). There is one quote I love from John Dies at the End where John talks about how they're not chess pieces, they're not pieces on the board, they're so insigificant that they're just a cheeto sitting on the outside of the board. That's Noel, she's a cheeto.

The thing is Noel seems to be somewhat narratively aware of the fact that in the grand scheme of things she is a cheeto. Noel and Ciel are both victims of the massacre turned vampires, Ciel is a vampire killing machine and Noel sucks at it. Ciel despite being some rando apparently is born with enough magic circuits to make ancient magus families jealous, and on top of that is the only one who ever survived Roa's possession (and got immortality to boot). In every generation there is a chosen one, she alone will stand against the vampires and the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the slayer. So you've got Ciel the Vampire Slayer, and Noel who's just a cheeto. The cosmically ordained protagonist of reality, and just some guy. Noel has to basically beg and scrape to get by, no matter how hard she works she doesn't get stronger, she doesn't get any cool super powers from the night roa burned down her home town she just gets trauma. She also doesn't get a special boyfriend who will do anything to try to give her a normal life. This is illustrated in true tragic irony, by showing that Noel had a crush on a japanese foreign exchange student who's clearly meant to foil Shiki and he was basically the support she leaned on for the entirety of the tragedy, he dragged her away from danger multiple times, only to find out the reason he saved her was to use her as zombie bait so he could make his escape.

Here's where Noel starts to shine because in a typical narrative, Noel would be the more sympathetic character. People like rooting for the underdog. However, Nasu dares to be different by making Noel extremely difficult to empathize with. For one she's extremely predatory in the way she makes constant uncomfortable advances on Shiki the main character. She's also predatory in the sense she enjoys preying on things weaker than her. She says it line for line, weak people have to pick on those weaker than them. Noel goes after small fry vampires for revenge, and to vent her frustrations, however, she doesn't just kill them she rips them to pieces and tortures them in the most inhumane way possible until they're begging for death.

Why would anyone sympathize with the weak, predatory, pathetic noel who only ever makes excuses and blames others to run away from responsibility, over the stoic, strong ciel who is willing to hunt vampires forever to take responsibility for her actions.

Well here's the thing, *gestures for you to come closer, and then whispers in your ear* all the shit that Noel pulls, Ciel does that too. Ciel and Noel are either the same age, or around the same age, so if Noel is a predator for hitting on Shiki than so is Ciel. It's almost like something happened to them in their youths that stopped all their mental development rendering them both like mentally 16. Noel mercilessly slaughters vampires for revenge, and so does Ciel. She just does it offscreen. We don't know if she tortures them or anything, but remember when Ciel hunts Shiki, how she knows that Shiki is a helpless victim in all this and still goes out of her way to twist the knife, hurt him both physically and emotionally in every way possible before making the final blow.

The reason she acted that way during her and Shiki's confrontation isn't because she was stoically forcing herself to kill Shiki because that was the right thing to do, no she was projecting herself and her survivor's guilt for not killing herself before Roa went on his massacre all over Shiki. She was getting her revenge on a helpless victim because projecting on Shiki was a way for her to punish herself. Noel hates herself for being weak, Ciel hates herself for not being strong enough to slit her throat before everything happened (ergo being weak). They both deal with this self hatred by projecting that onto vampires, even vampires who were turned against their will (especially those ones tbh) and slaughtering them. They were both taken in by the church and taught to do that, so the church could get two child soldiers to send to die fighting vampreis. Ciel is Noel, and Noel is Ciel.

Not only does Noel project her past self and her weaknesses onto vampires, she projects herself onto Ciel. In that Noel really wants to be Ciel. Which is understandable, would you rather be, a girl who's only super power is... having an axe, or a girl with like seventeen million cool weapons, has more mana circuits than most mages, and is fucking immortal.

That's just the surface though, Noel is on like fifteen levels of projection with Ciel. Noel's identity is incredibly tied up in her complicated feelings towards Ciel, both because Ciel is the face of the person who committed every atrocity to Noel, but also because they are the two lone survivors of the same tragedy. Noel and Ciel both try to make themselves into tools for killing vampires to cope with their survivor's guilt, and their inability to conceive of themselves having a normal life after what they have been through. They also were both denied any chance at healing, because the church swept in and fashioned them into hunting dogs to sick on the vampires, and fight those vampires until they die. They are also both convinced that the church is right for doing this, and that deep down they either cannot have (Noel) or do not deserve (Ciel) normal lives while they both secretly pine for it anyway. Both of them are denied the chance for recovery, (because revenge does not heal), and Noel takes that one step further by deliberately driving a wedge into Ciel's recovery.

To quote you Comun, even though you're the one that sent this ask:

And Noel is a character inserted in Tsukihime to thwart Ciel's steady recovery. A constant reminder of what she lost and how the blood is in her hands. To cope with the sins Roa used her body for, Ciel chose to be the Holy Church's most professional extermination machine. Noel is the only survivor of her village because Elesia also died that night, being replaced with Ciel, who is fueled not by emotions but by a vampire kill count. And while Noel is a petty bitch at heart, she genuinely believes Ciel's post-trauma life choice and respects her capability to pull it off. There's no sabotage to their partnership not because Noel is afraid to defy someone a million times stronger than her, but because Noel wholeheartedly agrees with Ciel's choice to never recover and to pay blood for blood for the rest of her potentially eternal life. As long as Ciel stays Ciel, Noel's vengefulness is directed solely at Roa. But then Shiki enters Ciel's life bringing with him semblances of normal happiness. The murder machine began to regain emotions. And to Noel, that's a problem.

So part of this is you know, buying church propaganda. Ciel and Noel are both victims of the same church that does not heal or save people, and only doles out punishments on the guilty.

Part of this is an interesting twist that adds complexity to Noel's character, because like she could blame Ciel for the massacre like the church does, and like Ciel does herself, but as you point out Noel clearly wrestles with that. Noel feels a mix of envy for a twisted respect, one could even say love for Ciel's strength. Noel shows a much more nuanced reaction to Roa wearing Ciel's face and killing her entire family and torturing her for days on end, when she could take the church's approach, or even Ciel's approach towards Shiki. Noel even talks about at length how her and Ciel used to bond together by talking at night about how they were going to get revenge for everyone who died that day. Noel can't just see Ciel as the villain who took everything away from her, because they are the only two survivors of the massacre.

As you said there's no sabotage to their partnership, because despite Noel being the most petty bitch ever she never does anything to hurt or betray Ciel. The reason their partnership falls apart is entirely Ciel's fault. Sure, Noel was dancing on the edge of a cliff and not the most stable person to begin with, but it's Ciel's actions that push her off that cliff.

Not only does Noel drive thwart Ciel's recovery, she also makes Ciel look like a terrible person. Because, Ciel is a terrible person. In the same route where Shiki constantly lovebombs Ciel and constantly talks about all her good traits and what a hero she is, and Ciel gets several very cool action scenes making her look like a cool vampire slayer, we also witness to Noel's soul and heartcrushing downward spiral that is caused in part by Ciel kind of not really giving a shit about Noel's feelings. Noel's downfall could have been stopped at any point by Ciel simply lifting a finger, or just noticing her partner's obvious distres but instead what Ciel does is Noel completely out of the loop (like not telling Noel that she was waiting for Roa to reveal himself before attacking Shiki) .

Like, the scene where Noel turns into a vampire is directly caused by Ciel's actions. Noel reveals to Shiki that he's currently possessed by Roa. Ciel stands up for Shiki, in what we think is Ciel not wanting to believe that Shiki is possessed by Roa. However, what we learn instead is that Ciel only approached Shiki in the first place because she assumed he would be Roa's first target, and has been keeping by his side constantly waiting for Roa to appear so she can murk him.

So, all Ciel needed to do was TELL NOEL that she was playing the long game and ask Noel to wait a little longer before showing their hand, but apparently basic communication with her partner is too much effort for Ciel.

This leads into a scenario where not only does Noel think Ciel has broken their partnership (i mean she kinda has) but Ciel directly injures Noel pretty badly and leaves her alone. When Arach shows up to prey upon Noel, Noel can't even fight back by that point. Arach is the bus that hit Noel, but Ciel sure did throw Noel under that bus for no real reason.

I mean there is a story reason - it shows that Ciel may be an instrument of justice but she doesn't save people, in fact she does not give two figs about whether or not people are saved by her actions. Ciel obsessively hunting vampires, is not really that far off from Noel torturing vampires for her own sense of petty vengeance. However, Ciel hunts vampires offscreen so we as an audience don't see really the way, she treats the vampires she kills, but from the way she both foils Noel and also the sadistic way she draws out killing Shiki possessed by Roa as long as possible you can infer that she's not all too different from Noel. That's good actually, that Ciel seems like a good heroic person, but if you squint at her she's not much better than Noel, because like that's the entire point of her character the good, altruistic senpai never existed in the first place. All of Ciel's words about atonement and forgiveness are empty platitudes, just her regurgitating the words the church fed to her.

So finally to conclude, we have the culmination of the moebius strip, where Noel the apparent opposite of Ciel, slowly morphs into Ciel. Noel's flaws in a narrative sense led to her downfall, but let's be clear Noel had no fucking agency in her transformation into a vampire. She was hysterically begging for Arach not to do it. She was pinned and helpless to escape when it happened. It is Arach and Ciel's fault what happened to her.

Noel does make choices, but her choice amounts to not immediately killing herself the moment she became a vampire. She does take like 500 shots to become an ubervamp, but like, the story clearly states that once people become vampires their moralities and personalities are radically altered. So if that's a choice it's an influenced choice.

Therefore the only choice in that moment Noel is truly responsible for is not killing herself while she was still lucid. Irony upon ironies because that's exactly what she yells at vampires to do, bow down and let their heads be cut off by the executors. However, if Noel is guilty for not immediately offing herself, so is Ciel, so is Shiki. Both of these characters get saved while Noel gets old yeller'd. This is unfair and also, you guessed it, the point. Ciels revenge against vampires accomplishes nothing. Noel giving up her humanity for the shot at revenge against Ciel accomplishes nothing. It's almost like revenge doesn't heal, it just puts more pain and misery into the world. No one is saved by revenge.

Noel is fridged for Ciel's arc, and neither Ciel nor Shiki ultimately save her even though she's not all that responsible for her own downfall. This is not the narrative playing good victim and bad victim. If anything it makes Ciel look way worse as a person. The narrative even goes out of its way to say that both Ciel and Noel have a right to their revenge and in a situation like this the winner wasn't determined by who was right but who's stronger. Ciel has no moral high ground she just happens to be stronger, that's it. She doesn't take the higher road with Noel even after Shiki went to such great length to try to reach her emotionally and tell her she was still human, no Ciel makes no attempt to talk to Noel or take a third route she just murks her.

Noel is my favorite character for this route probably second favoeite overall behind Kohaku and I one hundred percent agree with fridging her, because it makes Ciel's character a hundred times better by giving her consequences for her flaws. It's one thing for Ciel to break down crying about how much she hates herself for being a cold merciless machine. It's another thing to have this demonstrated by Ciel letting her partner fall to the wayside by just not giving a shit about anyone's feelings or anything except for her personal quest against vampires.

Noel is a victim of the cycle of revenge, a pointless and harmful cycle. In a story that's thoroughly anti revenge as evidenced in the true end of hisuis route where Kohaku having achieved absolute perfect revenge and having her plan gone entirely right, takes a knife and gouges out her own heart with it. If that's not on the nose I don't know what is.

Its poignant comun that you told me that Nasu stated there's no good ending to Ciel's routes just a normal and a true because a good ending would have saved Noel. It might look like Ciel got off scott free but if you look at it, by killing Noel and denying Noel the chance at salvation Ciel damns herself too. Ciel has not escaped the cycle in the true ending, she's still hunting vampires at the behest of the church the only real change is she has a boyfriend now. I'd compare it to the ending of UBW vs Heavens Feel. In one Shirou has Rin's support but it's implied he'll eventually leave Rin anyway and become Archer, he just won't regret saving people as Archer did. He has not escaped the self destructive cycle. Whereas in Heaven's Feel, Shiro dies and is reborn and has to you know live as a person from now on.

Ciel did not end the cycle, she perpetuated it by killing Noel. You don't end the cycle of revenge with more revenge. Since Ciel did not end it she's still trapped in the cycle herself, and she still has support in the form of Shiki but the cycle will probably consume her the way it eventually consumed Shirou. She even broke out what was essentially the UBW with black keys when fighting against Vlov. It's just like that one post on Twitter said every few years or so someone reinvent the unlimited blade works!

[pynkhues]

I would LOVE to read your analysis of louis as byronic hero as apposed to his reading as gothic heroine. lots of the latter and zero of the former in the fandom.

Sure! Mmm, okay, so –

What are we talking about when we talk about Gothic Heroes?  

When we talk about gothic heroes, we’re really talking about three pretty different character archetypes. All three are vital to the genre, but some are more popular in certain subgenres i.e. your Prometheus Hero may be more common in gothic horror, whereas your Byronic Hero might be more likely to be found in gothic romance. That’s not to say they’re exclusive to those subgenres at all, and there is an argument that these archetypes themselves are gendered (in many ways, I think people confuse Anne being an author of the female gothic with Louis being a gothic heroine, but I’ll get into that later), but this is also not necessarily something that’s exclusive.

Anyway, I’m getting ahead of myself, haha, so the three gothic hero archetypes are:

Milton’s Satan who is the classic gothic hero-villain. You can probably guess from the name, but he was originated in John Milton’s 1667 poem, Paradise Lost. He is God’s favourite angel, but God is forced to cast him out of heaven when he rebels against him. As an archetype, he’s a man pretty much defined by his pride, vanity and self-love, usually fucks his way through whatever book or poem he’s in, has a perverted, incestuous family, and a desire to corrupt other people. He’s also defined as being “too weak to choose what is moral and right, and instead chooses what is pleasurable only to him” and his greatest character flaw, in spite of all The Horrors, is that he’s usually easily misguided or led astray. (I would argue that Lestat fits into this archetype pretty neatly, but that’s a whole other post.)

Prometheus who was established as a gothic archetype by Mary Shelley with Frankenstein in 1818. Your Prometheus Hero is basically represented by the quest for knowledge and the overreach of that quest to bring on unintended consequences. He’s tied, of course, to the Prometheus of Greek myth, so you can get elements of that in this character design too in that he can be devious or a trickster, but the most important part of him is that he is split between his extreme intelligence and his sense of rebellion, and that his sense of rebellion and boundary pushing overtakes his intelligence and basically leads to All The Gothic Horrors.

And the Byronic Hero, who as the name implies, was both created by and inspired by the romantic poet, Lord Byron in his semi-autobiographical poem, Childe Harold’s Pilgrimage which was published between 1812-1818. The archetype is kind of an idealized version of himself, and as historian and critic Lord Macaulay wrote, the character is “a man proud, moody, cynical, with defiance on his brow and misery in his heart, a scorner of his kind, implacable in revenge, yet capable of deep and strong affection.” Adding to that, he’s often called ‘the gloomy egoist’ as a protagonist type, hates society, is often self-destructive and lives either exiled or in a self-exile, and is a stalwart of gothic literature, but especially gothic romance. Interestingly too, in his most iconic depictions he’s often a) darkly featured and/or not white (Heathcliff being the most obvious example of this given Emily Bronte clearly writes him as either Black or South Asian), and b) is often used to explore queer identity, with Byron himself having been bisexual.

Okay, but what about the Gothic Heroine?

Gothic heroines are less delineated and have had more of an evolution over time, which makes sense, given women have consistently been the main audience of gothic literature and have frequently been the most influential writers of the genre too. The gothic genre sort of ‘officially’ started with Horace Walpole’s 1764 novel, The Castle of Otranto and Isabella is largely regarded as the first gothic heroine and the foundation of the archetype, and the book opens even with one of the key defining traits – an innocent, chaste woman without the protection of a family being pursued and persecuted by a man on the rampage.

The gothic heroine was, for years, defined by her lack of agency. She was innocent, chaste, beautiful, curious, plagued by tragedy and often, ultimately, tragic. Isabella survives in The Castle of Otranto, but she’s one of the lucky ones – Cathy dies in Wuthering Heights, Sybil dies in The Picture of Dorian Gray, Justine and Elizabeth both die in Frankenstein, Mina survives in Dracula, but Lucy doesn’t. There’s an argument frequently posited that the gothic genre was, and is, about dead women and the men who mourn them, and Interview with the Vampire certainly lends itself to that pretty neatly.

Of course, the genre has evolved, and in particular by the late 1800s, there was a notable shift in how the Gothic Heroine was depicted. The house became a place of imprisonment where they were further constrained and disempowered, she was infantilized and pathologized and diagnosed as hysterical, and as Avril Horner puts it in her excellent paper, Women, Power and Conflict: the Gothic heroine and ‘Chocolate-box Gothic’, gothic literature of this era “explores “the constraints enforced [by] a patriarchal society that is becoming increasingly nervous about the demands of the ‘New Woman’.”

This was an era where marriage was increasingly understood in feminist circles to be a civil death where women were further subjugated and became the property of their husbands. This was explored through gothic literature as the domestic space evolved into a symbol of patriarchal control in the Female Gothic.

Female Gothic vs Male Gothic

Because here’s the thing – the female gothic and the male gothic are generally understood to be two different subgenres of gothic literature.

While there are plenty of arguments as to what this entails, the basics is that the male gothic is written by men, and usually features graphic horror, rape and the masculine domination of women and often utilises the invasion of women’s spaces as a symbol of further penetrating their bodies, while the female gothic is written by women, and usually features graphic terror, as opposed to horror, while delving more specifically into gender politics. More than that though, its heroines are usually victimized, virginial and powerless while being pursued by villainous men.

The Female Gothic as a genre is also specifically interested in the passage from girlhood to female maturity, and does view the house as a place of entrapment, but she is usually suddenly “threatened with imprisonment in a castle or a great house under the control of a powerful male figure who gave her no chance to escape.”

That’s not Louis’ arc, that’s Claudia’s arc twice over, first with the house at Rue Royale, then with the Paris Coven, and Lestat and Armand aren’t the only powerful male figures who imprison her.

Claudia as the Gothic Heroine

Claudia in many ways is the absolute embodiment of the classic gothic heroine. Even the moment of their meeting is a product of Louis’ Byronic heroism – his act of implacable revenge against the Alderman Fenwick which prompts the rioting that almost kills her. She’s a victim of Louis’ monstrousness before they’ve even met, and while he saves her, he arguably does something worse in trapping her in the house with both himself and Lestat, holding her in an ever-virginal, ever-chaste eternal girlhood, playing into Lestat’s Milton-Satan by enhancing the perversion of family and ultimately infantilizing her out of his own desire for familial closeness.

Claudia has no family protection before Louis and Lestat – a staple of the gothic heroine – she is completely dependent on them in her actual girlhood, and again in adulthood, never developing the strength to be able to turn a companion, to say nothing about the sly lines here and there that further diminish and pathologise her (Lestat calling her histrionic, Louis making her out to be a burden, etc.). This is all further compounded again with the Coven, and when the tragedy of her life ultimately leads to the tragedy of her death.  

Louis as the Byronic Hero

Not to start with a quote, but here’s one from The Literary Icon of the Byronic Hero and its Reincarnation in Emily Bronte’s Wuthering Heights:

“Generally speaking, the Byronic hero exhibits several particular characteristics. He does not possess heroic virtues in the usual, traditional sense. He is a well-educated, intelligent and sophisticated young man, sometimes a nobleman by birth, who at the same time manifests signs of rebellion against all fundamental values and moral codes of the society. Despite his obvious charm and attractiveness, the Byronic hero often shows a great deal of disrespect for any figure of authority. He was considered "the supreme embodiment [...] standing not only against a dehumanized system of labor but also against traditionally repressive religious, social, and familial institutions" (Moglen, 1976: 28).

The Byronic hero is usually a social outcast, a wanderer, or is in exile of some kind, one imposed upon him by some external forces or self-imposed. He also shows an obvious tendency to be arrogant, cunning, cynical, and unrepentant for his faults. He often indulges himself in self destructive activities that bring him to the point of nihilism resulting in his rebellion against life itself. He is hypersensitive, melancholic, introspective, emotionally conflicted, but at the same time mysterious, charismatic, seductive and sexually attractive.”

Louis as he exists in the show to me is pretty much all of those things, and I think to argue that he’s a gothic heroine not only diminishes Claudia’s arc, but robs Louis of his agency within his own story. Louis chooses Lestat, over and over again, he’s not imprisoned by the monster in the domestic sphere, he is one of the monsters who’s controlling the household, including making decisions of when they bring a child into it and when Lestat gets to live in it – he wanted to be turned, he wanted to live with Lestat in Rue Royale, and while there are certainly arguments to be made about their power dynamic within the household in the NOLA era, importantly Louis actually gained social power through his marriage to Lestat, particularly through The Azaelia, he didn’t lose it in the way that’s vital to the story of the gothic heroine.

Daniel Hart even said it in a recent twitter thread about Long Face, but there is an element of Lestat and Louis’ relationship that is transactional, and to me, for that to exist, they both have to have a degree of control over their circumstances and choices in order to negotiate those transactions. Claudia is the one who can’t, she’s the one who’s treated effectively as property, and she’s the one who lacks control over her circumstances.

While you could perhaps argue the constraints of the apartment in Dubai lend more to the gothic heroine archetype, I’d argue it as furthering the Byronic trope again by being representative both of Louis’ self-destruction and self-imposed exile. As Jacob has said a few times, Louis does seem to have known to a degree that Armand was involved in Claudia’s death on some level, and it’s that guilt and misery that has him allowing Armand his degree of control. The fact that Louis was able to leave Armand as easily and as definitively as he was I think demonstrates that distinction too – after all, to compare that ending to Claudia’s multiple attempts to leave the confines of the patriarchal house, both in Rue Royale and Paris, which were punished at every turn – first by her rape, then by Lestat dragging her back off the train, and then by the Coven orchestrating her murder.

Louis gets to leave because Louis can leave, he has both the social and narrative power to, and the fact that he does is, to me, completely at odds with the gothic heroine. Louis can, and does advocate for himself, Louis is proud, moody, cynical. Defiance is a key part of his character, just as his exile from NOLA society due to his race, and his chosen rejection of vampire society in Paris, is. He’s intelligent and sophisticated, travels the world, and has misery in his heart, guilt that eats him up, and self-destructive tendencies. That’s a Byronic Hero, baby!  

[maleyanderecafe]

A Double Sided Mirror (Visual Novel)

Created by: Glass Berry Studios

Genre: Horror/Romance

This r18 game is very well put together, especially in the quality of it's assets. This game is entirely voice acted, though in Spanish and it is a joy to play through. I think between the two "forms" I like Charlie a lot better than I like Charles since I really love softer and shyer boys. If you like this game you can check out more of them at @adoublesided

The story starts out with a call between Charlie and his sister, Lucy. Lucy seems to have had a nightmare while Charlie assures her that it's not her fault. Lucy seems to feel guilty that if she had not done what she did, Charlie wouldn't have to deal with such horrible things. Lucy apologizes for calling Charlie late at night, with Charlie mentioning that he has a date in the morning, causing Lucy to freak out a bit, stating that he's not ready to go on dates. A myserious voice explains that it's the reason why Charlie didn't tell her, with Lucy responding negatively.

We cut to the MC the next day wondering about their date. It seems that they have broken up at least fairly recently. They end up meeting up at the mall and wait for their date, however, after a while, it seems that he is never coming. Out of annoyance and anger, the MC ends up going to a cafe nearby and ordering something to drink. After waiting and talking to a scary barista named Cameron, she walks up to them and gives them cake, along with a note. It seems that the cake was bought by someone in the cafe, as Cameron ends up pointing at and it's the person that the MC was supposed to be on a date with, with the note apologizing for being too shy to talk to them.From there, the MC can either decide to talk to him or be creeped out.

If the MC decides to meet up with him, they'll huff about how late the date is and goes to talk to him. He is, first and foremost extremely nervous to see the MC, even telling them that he was trying to get the courage to apologize.

If the MC reassures him, he will start getting happily flustered before the MC starts eating the cake. The MC expresses their appreciation and offers to give some to him as well. He gets flustered as there's only one spoon and gets even more so when the MC feeds him suddenly. He basically gets so nervous he has to eat some drugs to calm down, though when the MC apologizes, he mentions that the drugs are for a condition he's had for a while. The MC wonders why he didn't tell them about his condition, with him stating that he didn't want to think that he was weak and not want to go out with him (which sidenote, that would make me want to go more out with him because bulliable and I like weakness in my men, anyways), which the MC reassures him about. He thanks them as no one has ever said that before, before the MC offers to go on another date with him. They also ended up eating all the cake much to their surprise. Before leaving, he has a big outburst wanting to exchange numbers. They also don't know each other's name as the app makes the two of them exchange nicknames for safety reasons (which seems weird but what do I know about dating apps), and the two introduce each other, with him introducing himself as Charlie. The MC rides the subway back, but while there sits next to someone who is very creepy. The MC feels extremely uncomfortable and panicked and leaves as soon as it hits their stop. When getting back, they are spooked by the sudden notification from Charlie before going to check the fridge, seeing that it's empty. After wishing that they had some more of that cake, the world seems to glitch before the MC notices that a cake did seem to be in the fridge the entire time. They end up eating it before bed and texting Charlie before going to sleep.

If they feel instead off about the situation, they'll talk more sternly to him, not even sure if he is the date at all. He will prove it by showing them their profile, but as they wonder about how they knew where they were after the date, he will then transform into a more confident version of himself. The MC seems to not remember what happened, but as he flirts with them, they realize they didn't tell him that they're not really interested in dating at the moment but rather just meeting new people. When they do tell him, he seems to be amused at the fact that they would think that's bad. When the MC does ask him on another date, he goes back to his shy version again. The story then continues as above.

If the MC is creeped out, they'll realize that it's very strange that he'd know where they were, considering that the cafe was pretty far away from their original meeting place. The MC becomes paranoid that he's been following them around and feels fear of what he could do. They end up throwing away the cake and confronting him, talking about how they waited for a long time and that a cake isn't enough to fix this issue. The guy starts shaking before the MC basically tells him that they never want to see him or interact with him again. The MC then leaves, becoming increasingly paranoid that he is following them and rushes into a nearby bookstore. Once there, someone mistaken them as a bookshop employee before coming back and asking if they are alright. The MC can then decide if they want to tell him or not.

If they decide not to, he will leave, leading to the MC bumping into someone else (who looks kind of like Charlie). He apologizes and notes the MC's behavior. To bring their mind off of their other date, he offers to buy them something near the food court. The MC seems to reject sweets at the moment as it reminds them of Charlie, so instead opts into eating something spicy. The guy ends up buying some spicy wings for them instead. After eating, the guy tells the MC that he actually did seem them in the bookstore and wanted to talk to them, but ended up bumping into them before actually figuring out a way to do that. He introduces himself as Charles and the MC asks for their number, to which he hesitantly says the he left his phone at home, asking for them to instead write down their number so that they can call them later. When getting back, they are trapped in a downpour, but Charles ends up bumping into them and offering them his umbrella for them to both be under. The two of them end up talking, with Charles mentioning that he was using this an excuse to not go to his family's gathering and to hang out with the MC. After some more light flirting, the MC ends up in their apartment, texting Charles before bed and going to sleep.

If they do tell him, the guy will help try to get them away from Charlie and even offers to walk them home. He introduces himself as Jeremy and promises to keep the MC safe. While doing so, we are interrupted by a not very happy creature (presumably Charlie) before going back to normal. As the two of them walk out of the mall, the MC and Jeremy hold hands (out of safety). The MC is able to arrive at their apartment safely and gets a text from Jeremy who asks if they are safe. After this, they notice that they've forgotten to buy food as the fridge is empty and goes to sleep hungry. Before falling asleep they notice that someone (Charlie) seems to be crawling up from the foot of their bed.

I just have to say first of all that this game is really well made for a demo, from the voice acting to the cameos in the backgrounds, to the UI and sprites, everything looks very polished. The more jump scary horror scenes are really good too, with the one where Charlie at the foot of the bed actually making me flinch because I wasn't expecting it. One of the more minor issues I do have is with the trigger warning screen and only because having to open up the game over and over again and having to wait a minute for the trigger warning to finish is pretty tiring. I would have liked it better if perhaps there was a way to skip it on second viewing by clicking on it. This is a pretty minor thing compared to the rest of the story going on.

In this game there are seemingly two yanderes, Charlie and Charles, who are the same person, but are able to change appearance and personality. From what I can tell, Charlie/Charles are closer to being an entity that is trying to become human that is attached onto Charlie. Charlie seems to be the dominant personality of the two as he's not only the first version we see in all routes but also the one we see calling Lucy in the beginning. From what I can tell, the personality/appearence tends to change into Charles when Charlie becomes majorly uncomfortable, as seen when he does turn into a more confident version of himself as well as when we end up seeing Charles after rejecting Charlie. It's likely related to the pulls that Charlie ends up eating in one of the routes after he starts shaking really badly. It does make me wonder if the Charles personality can suddenly appear if something happens, or if Charlie's personality would basically be gone for good. It would also explain the sudden change in his eye color and general appearance as his clothes also change pretty drastically (at least in terms of style, not so much clothing colors).

To no one's surprise, I like Charlie more than Charles because god he's so cute when he's shy. I actually streamed this game to @meo-eiru and we both agree that while he needs to get an outfit change he is way too adorable. The voice actor did a good job making him very shy and changing into Charles or when Charlie becomes a more confident person. From what we can tell Charlie seems to have stalked the MC for a while, even knowing that they went to cafe, but too shy to have actually talked to them, even knowing what kind of cake that they would like. He seems to have some sort of power as well that's shared with Charles, being able to change reality in some sort of way, either by changing his appearance/ personality, but also manifesting items as well, like when the MC wished to eat the cake that Charlie had gotten them only to find it glitched into their fridge. Like I said, Charlie seems to be the "base" personality of the character, likely affected heavily by whatever Lucy did to make him this way and seems to change under stress. So it could be possible that this is some sort of DID, however, it doesn't explain the glitches in reality that tends to happen in the game when it does happen. Most of the time though, we were both like go back to Charlie every time he became Charles. Stay Charlie, you're really cute.

Charles on the other hand is more closer to standard yandere love interests in these types of vns, being a lot more open and flirty with the player and confident. He does have his cuter side to him as well though like when he was spreading his arms excitedly when talking to the MC. Much like Charlie, we do know that Charles does follow the MC around as when he coincidentally was near their apartment when they go home in the rain as well as just bumping into them into the bookstore, though we don't know to what extent Charles and Charlie know of each other. He is at least aware enough that the MC does not want to see Charlie again, thus has to pretend that he's left his phone at home as to not let them know that they actually matched on the dating app. Apart from that, we don't really know too much of the extent of his yandere actions, at least not in the game, since we don't know exactly how much of it intersects with Charlie. We also learn from him that he's not on best terms with his family as he has been avoiding his family reunion, which does sort of make sense considering the interaction we see in the beginning where Lucy (from what I can tell) doesn't react too happily with Charles's response.

Conceptually in the game, there are a lot of mysteries that have been set up already, from Lucy and Charlie/Charles's relationship to who exactly Charlie and Charles are, to what's going on with all the glitches in the story to who if Cameron is going to get killed or not, so we'll have to see what will happen in the future. I do like the concept of yanderes that change depending on the player's actions (because I'm not biased at all as my game, Perfect Love, also does something similar) since that leads to a lot of possibilities. It's already pretty well made from what we see in the demo, so I'm sure it'll be something great to see whenever the full game is finished.

Overall, good game, with an intriguing mystery and well made. Charlie is the best boy and I hope I get an ending where I can kill him with my bare hands (lovingly or otherwise). I would recommend playing this game if you are interested in it.

As a bonus, have a meme that @meo-eir made after playing the game.

[chronicdisasterwrites]

these morons of jujutsu high

pairing: gojo satoru, geto suguru, shoko ieiri and fem!reader

genre + warnings: - this is NOT a poly fic. they’re all just vvv good friends. nanami and haibara were mentioned. mentions of blood, death and general jujutsu kaisen TW stuff. smoking, the word “goddamned” is mentioned. gojo being an idiot lmfao.

overall FLUFF !!

word count: 1219

authors note: so this is just a cute, heartfelt piece about the jjk troublemakers including and reader. i was thinking of making this the intro of a potential series but ✨ let’s see ✨

enjoyyyy <3

Is this really my life?

A question that always lingers in your mind.

Being a jujutsu sorcerer was no walk in the park. Death was a regular occurrence in your line of work. Deaths you anticipated, deaths you caused, deaths of friends, and even deaths of curses. None of them are ever easy to deal with. Nothing about this goddamned job is easy.

The smell of blood is as common to you as the smell of antiseptics is to a doctor. The sound of a curse evaporating into nothingness is ingrained in your brain as the sound of a child's first laughter is ingrained in the minds of their parents. Your hands are used to the touch of the cold steel of your weapons as a guitarist is used to the wood of their guitar.

This is your life. Your weapons are your instruments and the world is your stage. The only difference is, you have the blood of the crowd on your hands every. single. day. The blood of curses, the blood of humans, the blood of your comrades, and the blood of your own body.

How could it be that this life; so full of hurt, pain, despair, regret, fear, loneliness, anxiety, and depression, can also have so much happiness, love, excitement, companionship, adventure, humor, and serenity? That’s life, you suppose. But how can a life like yours have so much love alongside such hatred?

Your friends are the reason, you suppose.

These morons of Jujutsu High.

They feel the same emotions as deeply as you do. They have all felt loss, betrayal, grief, and death as much as you have.

Gojo Satoru had basically been raised as a trophy or a high-value product kept in perfect condition for the world to gawk at with wide eyes and ulterior motives. With the weight of the responsibility of being ‘Strongest’ hanging over his shoulders and daggers and spears pointed at him from every direction, he never had the chance to be a mere child. Which is what he was. Just a child. From birth to the present day, he has had eyes on him with the neon sign labeled ‘Strongest Sorcerer Ever’ blinking over his head. Always on his guard, being wary of who to trust. Not a moment to be a child. Not a moment to be a teenager and certainly not a moment to be an independent adult, free to choose who to love or what to do in life. He only has one thing to do. One obligation he has had since birth. Be the strongest. Throughout the heavens and the earth, he alone is the honored one.

It's a pretty lonely role for one person to bear.

Geto Suguru has kind eyes, a simple smile, and an extremely feared cursed technique; but what that smile and easygoing personality covers is his heart burdened with the horrors he has had to face in his life. He too, was born with the responsibility of using his cursed technique to help people. Born with the ability to absorb curses and later use them as he so desires. Living every day just killing and absorbing something that tastes like a rag covered in vomit and shit. Having to force your oesophagus to open up and force your mind to think of something more delicious whilst absorbing the thing you killed a few minutes ago is all second nature to Geto Suguru. Doesn’t mean it ever gets easier. But the smile comes easily to him and his voice stays soft and stable as his words soothe even those who hate him.

Because Geto Suguru wants to help those who are weak, and he would swallow all the curses necessary in order to do so.

Shoko Ieiri is the epitome of genius. Since she was a child she knew fully how to use the reversed curse technique; the ability to heal oneself and others, a technique even the strongest and most experienced jujutsu sorcerers have trouble mastering. Being so valuable means she has to stay in a lot, or go to missions alone a lot. She doesn’t get to choose missions, doesn’t get to accompany her friends to even ‘potentially’ dangerous locations. Being so valuable, she is the first person every jujutsu sorcerer goes to for healing and rejuvenation. Which also means she has to see a lot of her comrades lie on the steel bed, lifeless and cold and limp. She is the one who has to patch them up and she is the one who has to cut them open. Dealing with death and the aftermath is her job.

That's a lot of death for two eyes to see and two hands to explore.

Meeting them, knowing them, and growing to love them is the most rewarding experience your roller coaster of a life has had to offer by far. Checking out every single cafe Japan has to offer, milking Satoru of all his wealth by going out to eat and Satoru eating the most (ironically), pissing off Yaga-Sensei, celebrating birthdays, arguing and then making up with actions instead of verbal apologies, being the loudest group in every train station, smoke breaks with Shoko and Suguru while hiding away from Satoru, spending sleepless nights under the stars with Satoru, teasing Nanami and Haibara for acting like a 50-year-old married couple, fighting curses and always having each other’s backs. This was your family. However dysfunctional and however small.

So now, sitting in the classroom watching Suguru and Satoru bicker about who knows what this time, with Shoko sitting next to you fiddling around with Satoru’s sunglasses making faces and terrible impressions, bathed in the golden rays flooding the room through the windows as the sun goes down, you ponder the question; is this really your life?

You hear your name being called and the train of thought comes to a halt, as you look up to find honey-gold eyes staring back at you.

“What’re you thinking about so hard?” Suguru asks with his soft eyes and an even softer smile.

“She’s obviously thinking about how right I am and how wrong you are, Suguru,” Satoru interjects with his usual cocky smile and teasing lilt to his voice.

“Yeah, she definitely thinks a seal can beat a hippo in a fight to the death,” Shoko quips with unimpressed eyes and an obviously sarcastic smile.

Satoru slaps his hand on the desk so loudly that the sound reverberates throughout the entire floor you’re on, “HAH! Thank you Shoko, exactly what I’m saying. Of course I’m right.”

He wears an accomplished smile as the sarcasm completely flies over his stupid head.

“Gojo… I was joking. You’re obviously wrong.”

You can almost hear something crack in his head. The sound of disappointment.

“HEY just think about it okay? So a seal-“

As a new chapter of bickering begins between Shoko and Satoru, Suguru nudges your shoulder with a quirk of his eyebrows, silently repeating his previous question.

You look at him, look back at Satoru and Shoko and shake your head with a content smile and a huff of laughter, “Just thinking about life, I guess.”

With a hum and a smile Suguru relaxes on your other side as you both turn your attention to the ongoing argument unravelling before you.

Yeah. This really is my life.

[armoricaroyalty]

Film Grammar for Simmers

What is film grammar?

"Film grammar" refers the unstated "rules" of editing used in movies and TV. Different types of shots have different associations and are used by editors to convey different types of information to the audience. Many of these principles were first described in the early 20th century by Soviet directors, but they're used consistently across genre, medium, and even language: Bollywood musicals, English period dramas, Korean horror movies, and American action blockbusters all use many of the same techniques.

Because these rules are so universal, virtually everyone has some internalized understanding of them. Even if they can’t name the different types of shots or explain how editors use images to construct meaning, the average person can tell when the “rules” are being broken. If you’ve ever thought a movie or episode of TV was confusing without being able to say why, there’s a good chance that there was something off with the editing.

Learning and applying the basics of film grammar can give your story a slicker and more-polished feel, without having to download shaders or spend hours in photoshop. It also has the bonus of enhancing readability by allowing your audience to use their knowledge of film and TV to understand what's happening in your story. You can use it to call attention to significant plot details and avoid introducing confusion through unclear visual language.

Best of all, it doesn't cost a dime.

The basics: types of shots

Shots are the basic building block of film. In Sims storytelling, a single shot is analogous to a single screenshot. In film, different types of shots are distinguished by the position of the camera relative to the subject. There are three big categories of shots, with some variation: long shots (LS), medium shots (MS), and close-ups (CU). This diagram, created by Daniel Chandler and hosted on visual-memory.co.uk illustrates the difference:

Source: The 'Grammar' of Television and Film, Daniel Chandler, visual-memory.co.uk. Link.

In film, scenes typically progress through the different types of shots in sequence: long shot, medium shot, close-up. When a new scene begins and the characters arrive in a new location, we typically begin with a wide establishing shot of the building’s exterior to show the audience where the scene will be taking place. Next comes a long shot of an interior space, which tells the where the characters are positioned relative to one another. The next shot is a medium shot of the characters conversing, and then finally, a close-up as the conversation reaches its emotional or informational climax. Insert shots are used judiciously throughout to establish themes or offer visual exposition.

Here's another visual guide to the different types of shots, illustrated with stills from Disney animated films.

This guide is almost 2,000 words long! To save your dash, I've put the meat of it under the cut.

Long shot and extreme long shots

A long shot (sometimes also called a wide shot) is one where the entire subject (usually a building, person, or group of people) is visible within the frame. The camera is positioned far away from the subject, prioritizing the details of the background over the details of the subject.

One of the most common uses of long shots and extreme long shots are establishing shots. An establishing shot is the first shot in a scene, and it sets the tone for the scene and is intended to give the viewer the information they’ll need to follow the scene: where a scene is taking place, who is in the scene, and where they are positioned in relation to one another. Without an establishing shot, a scene can feel ungrounded or “floaty.” Readers will have a harder time understanding what’s happening in the scene because on some level, they’ll be trying to puzzle out the answers to the who and where questions, distracting them from the most important questions: what is happening and why?

(I actually like to start my scenes with two establishing shots: an environmental shot focusing on the scenery, and then a second shot that establishes the characters and their position within the space.)

Long shots and extreme long shots have other uses, as well. Because the subject is small relative to their surroundings, they have an impersonal effect which can be used for comedy or tragedy.

In Fargo (1996) uses an extreme long shot to visually illustrate the main character’s sense of defeat after failing to secure funding for a business deal.The shot begins with a car in an empty parking lot, and then we see the protagonist make his way up from the bottom of the frame. He is alone in the shot, he is small, and the camera is positioned above him, looking down from a god-like perspective. All of these factors work together to convey his emotional state: he’s small, he’s alone, and in this moment, we are literally looking down on him. This shot effectively conveys how powerless he feels without any dialogue or even showing his face.

The same impersonal effect can also be used for comic purposes. If a character says something stupid or fails to impress other characters, cutting directly from a close-up to a long shot has a visual effect akin to chirping crickets. In this instance, a long shot serves as a visual “wait, what?” and invites the audience to laugh at the character rather than with them.

Medium Shots

Medium shots are “neutral” in filmmaking. Long shots and close-ups convey special meaning in their choice to focus on either the subject or the background, but a medium shot is balanced, giving equal focus to the character and their surroundings. In a medium shot, the character takes up 50% of the frame. They’re typically depicted from the waist-up and the audience can see both their face and hands, allowing the audience to see the character's facial expression and read their body-language, both important for interpreting meaning.

In most movies and TV shows, medium shots are the bread and butter of dialogue-heavy scenes, with close-ups, long shots, and inserts used for punctuation and emphasis. If you’re closely following the conventions of filmmaking, most of your dialogue scenes will be medium shots following the convention of shot-reverse shot:

To keep long conversations from feeling too visually monotonous, consider staging the scene as a walk-and-talk. Having two characters move through a space can add a lot of dynamism and visual interest to a scene that might otherwise feel boring or stiff.

Close Ups

Close-ups are close shots of a character’s face. The camera is positioned relatively near to the subject, showing just their head and shoulders. In a close-up, we don’t see any details of the background or the expressions of other characters.

In film, close-ups are used for emphasis. If a character is experiencing a strong emotion or delivering an important line of dialogue, a close-up underscores the importance of the moment by inviting the audience to focus only on the character and their emotion.

Close-ups don’t necessarily need to focus on the speaker. If the important thing about a line of dialogue is another character’s reaction to it, a close-up of the reaction is more effective than a close-up of the delivery.

One of the most iconic shots in Parasite (2019) is of the protagonist driving his employer around while she sits in the backseat, speaking on the phone. Even though she’s the one speaking, the details of her conversation matter less than the protagonist’s reaction to it. While she chatters obliviously in the background, we focus on the protagonist’s disgruntled, resentful response to her thoughtless words and behavior.

In my opinion, Simblr really overuses close-ups in dialogue. A lot of conversation scenes are framed entirely in close-ups, which has the same effect of highlighting an entire page in a textbook. The reader can’t actually tell what information is important, because the visuals are screaming that everything is important. Overusing close-ups also cuts the viewer off from the character’s body language and prevents them from learning anything about the character via their surroundings.

For example, a scene set in someone’s bedroom is a great opportunity for some subtle characterization—is it tidy or messy? what kind of decor have they chosen? do they have a gaming computer, a guitar, an overflowing bookshelf?—but if the author chooses to use only close-ups, we lose out on a chance to get to know the character via indirect means.

Inserts

An insert shot is when a shot of something other than a character’s face is inserted into a scene. Often, inserts are close-ups of a character’s hands or an object in the background. Insert shots can also be used to show us what a character is looking at or focusing on.

In rom-com The Prince & Me (2004) (see? I don’t just watch crime dramas…) the male lead is in an important meeting. We see him pick up a pen, look down at the papers in front of him, and apparently begin taking notes, but then we cut to an insert shot of his information packet. He’s doodling pictures of sports cars and is entirely disengaged from the conversation. Every other shot in the scene is an establishing shot or a medium shot or a close-up of someone speaking, but this insert gives us insight into the lead’s state of mind: he doesn’t want to be there and he isn’t paying attention.

Insert shots are, in my opinion, also used ineffectively on Simblr. A good insert gives us extra insight into what a character is thinking or focusing on, but a poorly-used insert feels…unfocused. A good insert might focus on pill bottles on a character’s desk to suggest a chemical dependency, on a family picture to suggest duty and loyalty, on a clock to suggest a time constraint, on a pile of dirty laundry or unanswered letters to suggest a character is struggling to keep up with their responsibilities. An ineffective insert shot might focus on the flowers in the background because they’re pretty, on a character’s hands because it seems artsy, on the place settings on a dining table because you spent forever placing each one individually and you’ll be damned if they don’t make it into the scene. These things might be lovely and they might break up a monotonous conversation and they might represent a lot of time and effort, but if they don’t contribute any meaning to a scene, consider cutting or repurposing them.

I want to emphasize: insert shots aren’t bad, but they should be carefully chosen to ensure they’re enhancing the meaning of the scene. Haphazard insert shots are distracting and can interfere with your reader’s ability to understand what is happening and why.

Putting it all together

One of the most basic principles of film theory is the Kuleshov effect, the idea that meaning in film comes from the interaction of two shots in sequence, and not from any single shot by itself. In the prototypical example, cutting from a close-up of a person’s neutral expression to a bowl of soup, children playing, or soldiers in a field suggests hunger, worry, or fear, respectively.

The Kuleshov effect is the essence of visual storytelling in a medium like Simblr. You can elevate your storytelling by thinking not only about each individual shot, but about the way they’ll interact and flow into one another.

Mastering the basics of film grammar is a great (free!) way to take your storytelling to the next level. To learn more, you can find tons of guides and explainers about film grammar for free online, and your local library doubtless has books that explain the same principles and offers additional analysis.

Happy simming!

[blacktabbygames]

Hey! I’ve been following along with Scarlet Hollow for a few years now, back when Gab Smolders first played it on Youtube. While I’ve considered myself a game dev for a while now, Scarlet Hollow is the game that made me finally settle on a genre for my first ever project. That’s been a few years ago by now and I’ve finally managed to release a short demo for part 1. As a fellow horror visual novel dev, I was curious if you’d be willing to share how you went about marketing Scarlet Hollow (and STP for that matter). How did people start finding it? How’d you begin building your audience? A few people have played my demo so far and they seem to really enjoy it, but I want to expand beyond that. Any tips you’d like to share? Thanks in advance for your time!! 🖤

Thank you so much and it's an honor to have inspired you in some small way ^^ A lot of our thoughts on indie visual novel development and marketing are on our devlog, which you can find here: https://medium.com/@blacktabbygames I'd also recommend How to Market a Game (dot com) as an extremely helpful resource for understanding the basics of marketing games on Steam + also to get benchmarks you can compare your progress — it's hard to adjust and find ways to do better if you don't know whether you're doing well to begin with.

[somegirlontheinternet135]

🩷✨Rewrite!Yui Headcanons✨🩷

(tw: Dark topics will be discussed)

🩷 Yui was extremely malnourished, and for many reasons. Firstly, due to living with thirsty vampires, they dictated everything she ate so that she could keep them supplied with good blood, which meant absolutely no sweets or junk food. Another reason was that she stopped eating all together as an act of defiance; after so many years of those parasites feeding off her blood, she'd grown sick & tired of it, refusing to eat as a form of rebelling, which usually led to punishment. But now that she's safe within the Glass Labyrinth, she's free to eat as much as she wants, whatever she wants. Which turned her into a massive foodie, excited to try new & different foods

🩷 If it wasn't already obvious, she is very self-conscious about her body, as it is a war-zone of past inflictions done by her abusers, bruises & scars that never healed, cuts & scrapes that still remain, and vampire bites almost cleverly hidden on her very freckled body. She was fed the unhealthy idea that she wouldn't be considered "beautiful" or "ladylike" if she had such things on her body, so she tries her best to cover them up

🩷 But despite the issues, Yui still tries to dress feminine. Which wouldn't be a problem if half her life wasn't centered around men. Whether she did it by choice or by sheer force, everything she wore had to appeal to them, in more ways than one. . . Now in the labyrinth, she can wear whatever she wants, but her taste in fashion hasn't seen to change, still wearing short dresses & skirts, any basically everything pink and girly. Because of this, she's extremely good with fashion, and is able to give great advice on fixing one's appearance. She's also good with make up for the same reasons

🩷 Yui tries to pull her weight around the Glass Labyrinth, making herself useful for the other inhabitants, though she & the others don't require rent to stay. In her eyes, she doesn't have many skills; but if there were three things she considers herself good at, it's cleaning, fashion, and makeup. She loves to clean & organize, and can't stand a mess, so she started doing cleaning services around the Kame Isles. She also offers to help with clothing, and doing make up during big events for a lot of the girls in the labyrinth

🩷 If anyone read the "Diabolik Lovers: The Glass Labyrinth pt. 2," you'd know that Yui crazy about mythology & its creatures due to her past. Because of this, she can easily identify any mythical creature with the labyrinth, and knows their likes & dislike as species

🩷 On the topic of mythic creatures, she's taken quite a liking to the horror genre, enjoying reading horror novels and often watching scary movies with her friends

🩷 As sad as it was, Yui would sometimes forget that she's free from the parasites due to episodes of anxiety & trauma. She has to be reminded by others that she's safe now, and can make her own decisions

🩷 Recently, Yui had been learning all sorts of self defense classes in the Glass Labyrinth & takes extra precautions when going out on top of learning magic, carrying pepper spray or a taser on her at all times. She was already taken advantage of so many times in her teenage years, she's not going to have it happen again

🩷 Everyday, Yui is getting a little bit stronger, and the head mistresses couldn't be more proud of her!✨

And that's all folks!

Be on the lookout for my other projects

And as always stay tuned^^

[kiteblue42]

Is Eric Kripke America’s Tolkien?

So I started Supernatural for the first time around 6 months ago for which I blame Tumblr entirely (where do I claim compensation?). In fact it’s very good and fun and I can’t believe I missed it when it was live.

Ok so bear with me I’ve been sick for a few days a combination of high temperature plus rings of power trailer drop may be making me delusional, but I got to thinking … why did this show have such a hold not just on this site, but also on so many fan artists and fan fic writers. (I mean it has a strangle hold on Ao3)?

Then the RoP trailer dropped and I got to thinking is it because it world builds from a US stand point like Tolkien world built from a European standpoint?

Then because I am sick and can’t sleep I am sharing my stream of consciousness o: Kripke as Tolkien, Sam as Sam, John Winchester as Gandalf, Castiel as Beleg and Dean as Turin Turambar - and maybe now I’ve got this out of my head I’ll feel better….:

I attempted to put this under a cut so hope it worked!

:readmore:

Source material

Most modern fantasy stands on the shoulders of JRR Tolkien who basically ingested a ton of European myths and languages (with focus on Northern Europe) and spat out the middle earth legendarium.

Eric Kripke (plus writing team) seems to have ingested a ton of US urban myths and US pop culture and spat out “Supernatural-verse”. Because it is *US myth making* it is distinct from a lot of other US writing that builds off Tolkien and / or European myth arcs (I’m looking at you Star Wars, Westeros etc).

And the themes and sensibilities therefore pulled out by Kripke are *not* the same as Tolkien’s themes and sensibilities. This makes it different to a lot of modern genre fiction (in whatever form) that either builds on or seeks to subvert the themes in Tolkien’s work.

(There’s also a lot of genre fiction that is satire or allegory for the real world, but that is another category to me and not really world building in the same way - incidentally the Boys fits into that category along with Good Omens).

Both ofc back end off the Bible but this is English literature based story telling and no one escapes the Bible or the bard.

Structure

We usually think of Tolkien in terms of:

(1) Hobbit - entry level nicely structured “there and back again” story for children, darker than expected. Main hero arc -Bilbo.

(2) Lord of the Rings - the pretty perfect fantasy master piece - very accessible clear meaningful themes and tidy /satisfactory ending. A number of hero arcs, but clearest drawn are Frodo / Sam.

(3) Silmarillion (&etc) - this is where the legendarium really gets built. It’s not neat, it’s not accessible, some of it is *not* a good read but the ideas here build the world. We have a creation myth. The “good” “wise” guys turn out to be more complex and flawed than we thought. The evil guys are extremely toxic but entertaining and bring the drama. There are epic doomed romances between immortal beings and mortal beings. Everyone messes up and makes catastrophic world destroying errors on the regular. People get cursed and can’t escape their doom. I can’t think of any real traditional hero arcs (maybe Beren or Luthien??). Note Tolkien didn’t finish this and it’s put together by someone else.

Now let’s do Supernatural

(1) seasons 1-3 - Horror procedural-

Entry level solid procedural hunting / horror story. Sam W is here in the traditional hero role. Dean is like your Thorin initiating the adventure. John Winchester is in the Gandalf role (he knows what’s going on and holds the secrets but is not available to the adventurers at all times). Maybe there something deeper and darker going on? This is your Hobbit equivalent very accessible but not particularly unique.

(2) season 4-5 - myth arc - lots of fans will say this is the perfect part of the story and a masterpiece of genre writing. It’s neat with clear meaningful themes and a tidy satisfactory ending. A number of hero arcs though Sam’s remains the most clearly drawn. Dean is more like your Aragorn or Faramir at the end of 5, Bobby in the mold of a Theoden and a Castiel in sort of Gandalf type position. Baby ofc is Shadowfax. This is your LoTR equivalent

(3) seasons 6 - 15 - the Legendarium- this gets a lot of criticism but it’s where the legendarium really gets built. It’s not neat, it’s not that accessible, some of it is not great to watch, but the ideas here build the world out. We have a creation myth (hello Chuck & Amara). We have hero doomed by the narrative (most notably Dean Winchester, though also Castiel). We have epic love stories between mortals and immortals. Yes I am comparing Dean & Cas to Beren & Luthien (!) though Turin & Beleg would perhaps be more appropriate (there’s a good case for Dean = Turin in this universe). The good guys turn out to be more complex or darker than we thought. The evil guys are extremely toxic but entertaining and bring the drama.

There aren’t really any straightforward hero arcs which is one of the reasons Sam fades out a bit and Dean comes forwards as a character. The stories are messy and tragic.

Landscape

Middle Earth - if you read the books or watch the movies or show it’s clear that Tolkien’s (sub)creation is a love letter to the mountains, lakes and woods of England and Europe. It’s also a cry of anguish for their destruction. Both the beauty and destruction are heightened (Europe doesn’t really look like this and really never did - as for the movies they were shot in anew Zealand and then digitally enhanced…) This is as important as the characters and plot - and stands out in particular in the Hobbit and LoTR where there are long descriptions of landscapes (or long shots of the same in movies / shows).

“Middle Americana” - it’s clear that as much importance was put into the look of the landscapes in Supernatural as to the characters or story. In this verse the look is long open roads, beautiful mountains and big skies that are a declaration of love for America, and the run down small towns seem to present wistful sadness. But again it’s not real it’s heightened. The cinematography in first few seasons is particularly thoughtful (and perhaps Kim Manners is to be thanked for that). The show is shot in Canada and the motels / gas stations in middle of no where needed to be built because they didn’t exist in reality. Again the landscape - the open road, the small towns, the big sky, the motels / dinners / gas stations in the middle of nowhere are as much a character as anything else.

I could go on but I suppose if anyone read this far you get the point (and more importantly it’s now out of my head and I can think about something else!).

Ultimately it will take some time to see if this could be right - in terms of genre fiction Tolkien is everywhere and you can’t escape it (even if you never read or watched any Tolkien!). Time will tell if the Kripke verse has the same impact on creatives and audiences, but I just look at the A03 archive and notice how many people know what happened on Supernatural without ever watching it (!) and think hmmm these are the readers and writers of tomorrow after all.

[boonsmoon]

Foundation of Love (2)

Request: PLS DO 2 PARTS🥺

Ask and ye shall receive Btw; you have the free will of being the goddess of literally anything

Part 1

Request Masterlist Mu Qing x f!reader Genres:🎉🌸💞🧪

Mu Qing and you were like two peas in a pod. It seems your time lacking experience has created an unbreakable bond.

Y'all were so tight in fact that you kept in contact even after you stopped working for Xie Lian. Now you are both Heavenly Officials with an extreme amount of believers and temples!

This; however, lead to a one-sided competition. Friendly, yes, but still odd to compete over who was the better deity. You like to consider yourself a humble goddess though, considering you aren't as prickly with the aesthetic of your temples like Mu Qing.

Ignoring the status you both held, he had this charm that was unlike that of a god, it was greater actually. You both spent enough time together to get to know the little things.

Like how he still remembers when a follower tried to offer a gift that none of your temples would accept 500 years ago. Even you don't remember what the item is on your own without him bringing it up. A fantastic memory but basically useless.

Or how he notices how quick you are to deal with the prayers of your believers. He's a hard-worker yes, but never would he acknowledge a prayer 5 seconds after hearing it. Mu Qing thinks you might be a bit too diligent, or have too much time on your hands.

In the end, you both know each other like the back of your hand. In fact most of the other officials think you two are together, but no! It's actually painful to watch from the sidelines.

Now Feng Xin is a protective older brother, and honestly he can barely tolerate Mu Qing after all these years. But, he can see that Mu Qing makes you happy, and your happiness has priority over his displeasure!

Unfortunately, Feng Xin sucks at this. And whenever he tries to get you to hang out with Mu Qing and ✨confess✨ it ends with you scolding Feng Xin for being an asshole.

It got to the point that one of the goddesses had to sit down and have a talk with you. While the conversation seemed nice, you could tell by the undertone she was basically demanding you admit your feelings to him.

And to be honest? You self reflected and realized he definitely wasn't gonna do it, so you had to. But that's fine, it's the 21st century, these things happen.

What you didn't know; however, was that Feng Xin had a passive aggressive conversation with Mu Qing basically saying the same thing. He NEEDS to confess or else.

With an agreed meeting in a garden, you both told the other you had important information which must be shared with the other. It could be gossip, latest trends among humans, who knows what the other wants to say?

The time of reckoning has come, and you are both visibly nervous. Who wouldn't be? Confessions are kinda tough.

Y'all have come to consensus earlier in your friendship that be straightforward is easiest, no matter what. You started, "s-so basically to make it simple, we need to stop this friendship. Now you go next!"

Mu Qing a look of horror on his face, contemplating on continuing, "I came to tell you we should ascend past a friendship... Be something more, but if that's not what-"

"Fantastic! We're on the same page and can get this over with," you interrupted him. He looked at you like you were insane, "you have a horrible way with words, I'll have you know that."

You lightly laughed, "yeah, but it's just my luck we had the same thing to say." And Mu Qing decided this was the time to be really romantic and kiss you. <3

im back on my cringe

but also i got a sudden burst of energy to WRITE so i MUST

BTW im noticing all my TGCF reqs are Mu Qing, so either the fandom is full of massive simps or theres a shortage of Mu Qing content

not complaining pls keep the reqs coming

[whoiwanttoday]

Guys, it is not quite the official start of Halloween yet (don't worry, I plan to keep you well informed as to when it is. It's coming up. Just weeks away) but we are in the prelude to Halloween officially this weekend. First, my friends and I have started organizing our planned Halloween season watch lists, it's an online event called Hooptober which is basically a movie scavenger hunt where we have to watch a bunch of movies to fit various criteria. We won't start watching until Halloween is upon us. Tonight though, Joe Bob Briggs is doing a 12 hour movie marathon that feels like a good prelude to the Halloween season. We are looking forward to it and seeing if old people can stay up all night (spoiler, we won't. We suck. We're old) and Rhonda Sheer will be there, which is a throw back to USA's Up All Night, a show that was on Fridays and Saturday from 11 PM to 5 AM when I was a kid. She was one of the hosts and we all thought she was kind of hot and kind of funny. So it's exciting she'll be on tonight.

All of that is some lead in to me posting Edwige Fenech who I promise you is related to all that. She was the queen of Giallo in the 70's. Giallo is an Italian genre that means yellow because old Italian pulp fiction used to be printed on yellow pages, so much like we called Pulp Fiction that because of the type of paper used, they called it Giallo because of the type of paper used. Giallo is a distinctly Italian genre in so many ways. It is half murder mystery and police procedural and half slasher movie. Some skew more horror than others but it's an important horror subgenre that gave us the slashers of the 80's. What makes it so Italian though is that the plot often makes no sense, they often don't seem to care about the plot at all. What they care about is all the people are extremely sexy and sophisticated in a way only Europeans can pull off in the 60's and 70's. America might have had the money but we'd never have that subtle class they all had. Which is wild for such trashy movies. They are always beautiful to look at, it's kind of the whole point. Pretty and vacant in many ways. This is why the genre drives me nuts, sometimes it forgets to even solve the mystery. This is why others love it, pure vibes and beauty. Fans of cinematography and set design tend to love Giallo. It also is famous for, as all Italian films are at the time since they were the kings of European film, having the most beautiful women you have ever seen. Like even in bit parts. All of this means that I have always thought my friend @kat-eleven might like some Giallo if given a chance. I have recommended Suspiria every year for a decade at Halloween. She always refuses because she said, "While I like the sound of those brutal killings, Italian 70's style backhanded sexism, and pretty colors, I just don't think there are any attractive women in all of Europe so I am not interested". That brings us to Edwige Fenech, who I watched one of her many Gialli the other night and was like, "I feel like Kat is wrong. I think she is actually very beautiful". So I sent Kat some posts on tumblr to prove it and you know what? This once that contradictory Canadian agreed I was right. As a matter of fact she said she might watch an Edwige Fenech movie. Which brings us full circle. For my big Hooptober list have thrown in a few Edwige Fenech movies that I haven't seen but are supposed to be among the best she is in, so I can tell @kat-eleven which is the best one. So this is all a prelude to Halloween season when I will be knee deep in Edwige Fenech because I am such a good and giving friend. Maybe she'll get a second post then. Today I want to fuck Edwige Fenech.

[mint-yooxgi]

{12} - Hotel California - Yandere!Demonic Entities!Ateez X Reader

Yandere AU & Demon AU - Based off of This ask and Hotel California by Eagles

Genre: Mature, Horror, Angst, Fluff, Slight Humor

Pairing: Ateez X Reader (Focus on Wooyoung & Yeosang, slight Jongho & Mingi)

Words: 13,562

Warnings: Sexual tension, a whole lot of it. Mentions of violence, some insecurities. This is a Yandere story, it will contain themes such as stalking, violence, obsession, possessive natures, and just general overall creepiness and swearing. You have been warned.

A/n: The song that Yeosang plays for the OC is from The Two Towers, and is the first 1:30 or so from The King of the Golden Hall. It’s the main Rohan melody found throughout the series. Anyways, I hope you all enjoy the chapter, you should all know what and whom to expect for the next chapter *wink wonk* by the time you’re finished reading this. Hehehe, let me know your thoughts! As always, feedback is greatly appreciated! Enjoy~

Main Story - Part Two - Part Three - Part Four - Part Five - Part Six - Part Seven - Part Eight - Part Nine - Part Ten - Part Eleven - Mini Masterlist

The remainder of that same day is spent resting and catching up on sleep. That headache didn’t want to seem to break until late that same night, and once it did, the tremendous amount of relief you felt was insane. 

The guys all noticed, of course, immediately offering to take your pain away and heal your headache. Only, you refused, saying you probably just needed some sleep. You had too many things on your mind to think about, so you figure that that’s probably what all the stress had been from, anyways. Plus, you have the added fact about Miyeon and the danger she poses.

Now, you aren’t dumb. You figured that they would have many, many exes and past relationships given who, and what they are. If they didn’t have at least ten significant others in all of their long years of living, you would be extremely curious as to why not. Still, you never expected their latest ex to hate your guts, more than likely wanting to kill you in the most brutal ways she knows how.

What a sad life that must be, to not be able to move on after twenty long years, and recognize one’s own faults. Clearly, Miyeon is incapable of self-reflection, but then again, she’s probably incapable of realizing a lot a things about herself if that’s always been the way she’s treated them. She is nothing but a narcissist, seeking that validation through manipulation, and believing that she can do no wrong.

When the next day comes, you still find it difficult to get out of bed, except to do the basic things like eat and bathe yourself. All you want to do is rest, your mind exhausted from all of this new information presented to you in the past week alone.

The guys are good about it. Giving you your space when you need it, but still making sure to check in on you every now and then. You’re still a little colder to Seonghwa, Hongjoong, and Jongho, though. A fact which the three know they all deserve, but still makes their hearts pang in their chests when it happens.

At least you never went back to ignoring them.

San, on the other hand, is constantly kissing up to you now. Every day, he’s making you your favourite meals, and showering you in praises and apologies. Granted, he didn’t surprise you as much as Jongho did when he originally voted ‘no’, but he did sound a bit hesitant to you when he said it, and he’s shown the greatest amount of remorse since the incident. The quickest, too. At least, in your opinion.

You’ve noticed a change within you, as well. The other four, certainly, you’ve grown closer to, but there’s a deeper understanding between you all now - a deeper trust. You even go so far as to begin smiling when you see one of them pop their head into your room, your eyes lighting up as they ask you how you’re feeling. Though, none have experienced quite the change as Yunho and Yeosang have.

If someone had told Yunho that you would be suddenly brushing up against his mind more often, let alone speaking to him through your connection over the next three days at the very start of your relationship - if you could have even called it that - he would have laughed in their face. Even now, on the fifth day after the mall incident, as you link your mind to his once more to show him an art meme you found that he might like, he cannot help but swoon. Finally, you’re opening up to him, just as he has always been ready and willing to open up to you.

He just wishes you’d come to see his art room, but he supposes that that’s all in due time. After all, good things come to those who wait.

Yeosang, on the other hand, is still one of the first ones to get you anything and everything you might need. He’s almost memorized your patterns, recognizing the familiar twitching of your lips when you’re starting to crave your favourite flavour of ice cream in the middle of the night, or even the slight trembling in your hands when you’re aching for another’s embrace.

One thing that they can both agree on, though, is how much more affectionate you are towards them. Even Mingi and Wooyoung have experienced the change, though you still keep a little bit of a closer eye on Wooyoung than the others. It saddens him, but he knows it’s only a matter of time before you’re opening yourself up to him in the same ways the others have already gotten the privilege to experience.

At least he’s not like Hongjoong, Seonghwa, or Jongho for the moment.

Poor Jongho. The one male you had seemed to be the closest to is suddenly the least of your concern now. You used to spend hours with him in the library, either simply just sitting in one another’s company, or discussing some book one or the both of you have read with each other. Now, it’s like all of that progress means nothing, and he knows he only has himself to blame. He just wishes you would talk to him again, instead of giving him short, one word answers, or brushing off his inquires entirely whenever he sees you.

Luckily, with each day that passes, the three of them have slowly been making their way back into your good graces. By the time a week has passed after the mall incident, it’s almost back to what it was like before the argument, just not as intimate. At least you’ve told them that you’ve forgiven them at this point, sternly reminding them about what would happen if a situation like this should arise again.

Both San and Jongho cried at your vindication, and even Hongjoong got a little teary-eyed. Though, none felt their hearts swell with joy as much as the eldest did.

As soon as those words had left your lips, Seonghwa had fallen to his knees, soft cries of gratitude falling like mantras from his lips. It was then that he asked if he could embrace you. A first for the eldest and what you have so often experienced with him.

The moment the confirmation had escaped your lips, his arms were around you. One hand immediately came up to cradle the back of your head as he tucked your face into the side of his neck, while the other wrapped securely around your waist. You felt the tears he had so desperately been holding back finally fall. The tiny droplets began to hit your shoulder once more as he whispered his thanks into your ear, promising you that he would never let you down again.

You had returned the embrace then, softly carding your fingers through the hair on the back of his neck while cooing comforting sentiments into his ear. Along with a joking, ‘you better not’, of course.

They had all chuckled at that, watching as you pulled away to stare deeply into Seonghwa’s eyes. An understanding had passed between you then, and you smiled. You actually smiled at him for the first time in what felt like ages.

All too soon, you were puling away, only to be asked by each of the other three if they could also embrace you.

You agreed, which could not have made any of them happier at that moment in time.

Currently, after a week and a day since the mall incident, you find yourself making your way towards the library, a bag held firmly in your hand. In all of the commotion and fallout of the past week, you have yet to open any of your new albums, or shelf your new books. Which is exactly what you’re going to do now.

Stepping into the library, you make your way over to your specific section, as you so lovingly call it, and place the bag onto the antique coffee table before you. 

Excitement thrums through your veins at the prospect of reorganizing your shelves after opening your new albums. It’s been a while since you’ve been able to do so, and you’ve found that it’s always been able to help calm you down; a relaxing way to take your mind off of things for an hour or more, depending on how many new items you have, and how quickly you work. You’re just glad that there’s ample shelf space for all of your things, you were starting to run out back in your old apartment.

Turning to the bag you’ve just placed on top of the table, you start to remove all of the items, spacing them out in neat little piles on top of the desk after sitting on the edge of the couch.

You don’t even hear the door nearest to you opening until you hear a fond chuckle from across the room. Looking up with wide eyes, you see Wooyoung leaning against the side of the frame.

“Want some company?” A small grin tugs at the corner of his mouth as his arms are crossed over his chest, mirroring the exact same position he was in when he asked you such a question for the very first time in the game room.

You cannot help but think back to that moment, a slight upturning of your lips as you do so. He looks much less nervous now than he did then.

“Sure.” You respond. “Though, I don’t know how entertaining this’ll be for you.”

Looks like you might have to tone down your reactions for certain albums when you open them, especially if you pull your bias. The last thing you want is another jealous demon to deal with for the moment. You giggle to yourself.

“Penny for your thoughts, Beautiful?” He quirks a brow as he walks over to you, sitting right next to you on the couch so that your knees are almost brushing.

The best part? You don’t move away.

So, you decide to tease him, a knowing grin tugging at your lips. “I’m just surprised you’re willingly ready to be made jealous.”

“I would never,” his jaw drops, hand coming up to cover his heart as if he’s personally been scandalized. Then, he’s nudging your knee with his own, soft smile tugging at his lips. “Don’t feel like you have to tone down your excitement for me.”

You shoot him an incredulous look, brow quirked and all.

“I want to know more about you.” The way he repeats the same words you said to him merely a week ago with such earnest reflected in his voice has your heart warming in your chest.

“Alright,” you meet his gaze, a softness shining there that he’s only ever dreamed of being on the receiving end before that makes his heart jump into his throat. In a good way, of course. Then, you’re shooting him a playful look, “but don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“Seeing you happy makes me happy, Gorgeous,” he replies, smiling wide as his eyes fall shut.

You smile back softly, “I appreciate that, Woo.”

Oh, if only you knew how that one simple little word makes his heart thunder in his chest. His head spins at the fact that you’ve just referred to him by one of his own nicknames, the ghost of your lips tingling against his cheek once more.

A shudder nearly runs down his spine. Now, if only he could have you moaning as such beneath him… Yet, he knows: all in due time.

“So,” he begins, shifting closer so that his thigh is now pressed right up against your own, “how do you usually go about this kind of thing?”

“Well, I don’t really have a particular order in terms of opening certain groups first,” you admit, reaching for one of the albums in front of you. “But, I do usually save the albums I’m most anticipating opening until last.”

Wooyoung nods, eyes eagerly watching as your hands unwrap the plastic from the colourful package held in your grip.

There was more than one reason Wooyoung wanted to join you today. Yes, he wanted to spend time with you, and he’s so glad that none of his brothers have decided to interrupt so far. However, he also wants to get more of an idea of how you think. What so many people do not realize, is that every action they make, every word they say, slowly gives away everything about them. All of their fantasies - all of their desires - are laid bare in the subtleties that make up who they are, and how they want to be treated.

He isn’t the master of seduction for nothing.

Every single action you make, every ministration against the packaging, he observes. Even the words you have just uttered ring through his ears as he does so. 

You must like to be built up, then. Teasing yourself until you’re finally able to find relief in what you crave most. A relief that Wooyoung is always more than ready and willing to give to you, in any and every way he knows how.

He’s so caught up in his own thoughts, and staring at the delicate way your hands open each album, that he hardly registers that you’ve asked him a question.

“Sorry, Beautiful,” he grins sheepishly, “what was that?”

“I said,” you simply shoot him a playful side-eyed look, a chuckle falling from your lips in the next second, “any luck with finding Miyeon yet?”

“Not yet.” Wooyoung exhales a small sigh through his nose, lips tugging downwards in the corners. “We’re still trying to track her down, but she keeps moving from one place to the next before we can get to her.”

You nod your head in understanding. “I’m sure you’ll find her soon. I have faith in you.” You turn your head to meet his gaze, a soft smile causing your lips to quirk upwards reassuringly. “All of you.”

“Thank you, Beautiful.” Wooyoung cannot contain the pleased hum that builds in his throat. “That means a lot to me.”

Before he can stop himself, or lose the nerve for that matter, Wooyoung places a gentle hand onto your knee, giving it a light squeeze. Of course, he lets his touch linger, especially as he watches you place your own hand on top of his, giving him a soft squeeze back.

Oh, so badly does he want to let out a roar in happiness. You’re touching him. You’re actually touching him! And you’re not pulling away, or tensing beneath his grip. A fact of which only makes him more ecstatic for the moment, the pleasant thrum of his heartbeat echoing in his ears.

In the next moment, he’s shifting his gaze to the three opened albums you have stacked in a pile on the table, keeping his hand resting upon your knee all the while.

“Pull anything good so far?” Genuine curiosity is held in his voice as he asks this.

“So far, so good, but nothing monumental.” You smile back. “These three are only groups I listen to casually, anyways. Now, these on the other hand…” you trail off, motioning to the last five albums you have yet to open, “will be a different story.”

“Which one are you looking forward to most?” He looks over the five items spaced out before you on the table.

There seems to be three groups left, for there are two piles of two albums stacked together, while a singular album lays in between them. You reach for that one first.

“You’ll just have to wait and find out,” you shoot him a wink, and you feel him physically shiver with his leg still pressed firmly up against your own.

So, you like to tease, do you? Though, that fact isn’t all that surprising to him any more. He’s known that since the very beginning. It’s just different when you tease him now, for you’re no longer doing it unknowingly. At least, most of the time. Plus, there’s a greater significance to it now than there was when you were just doing it before just for fun. The fact that you want to tease him, to rile him up and make him go even crazier for you drives him insane. Always, in a good way.

Fuck, he can’t wait for the day when he can properly tease you back. In any and all the different ways he knows how. 

Though, that’s not including the times he teases you now. No. Wooyoung wants to be able to build you up, to have you aching for his touch in the best ways until you finally give in to him. He wants you to embrace every primal desire you’ve ever had, and experience a type of pleasure only he can provide for you. After all, he’d do anything for you, including letting you use him in any and every way you so desire. As long as it’s him you’re using, you could do whatever you want, and he would not complain.

“My word, she’s so beautiful,” your breathless voice draws him out of his much too vivid thoughts of laying you down on this couch and kissing you until you’re breathless and clinging on to him desperately, begging him for more.

Wooyoung blinks, eyes focussing on the album you seem to be flipping through at the moment. He takes the opportunity to lean further into you, resting his head on your shoulder as he gazes down at the pictures printed on the pages you keep looking at.

“Isn’t she gorgeous?” You sigh wistfully, turning another page and admiring the photos there.

“Sure, she’s pretty,” Wooyoung shrugs, nonchalantly agreeing with your statement. Then, in the next second, he’s turning his head to stare intently at you, his eyes shining as his chin rests on your shoulder, “but I’ve seen prettier.”

“Psh, sure,” you chuckle, a playful roll of your eyes as you flip over another page. “Who could be prettier than Kang Seulgi?”

Wooyoung hums, his lips tugging upwards gently. “I’m looking at her right now.”

You wish you could deny the way that your heart positively flutters at his words, a heat rising to your cheeks fairly quickly in the next moment. From the way you can practically feel his cheeky smile boring a hole into the side of your face at the reaction you give him, you just know he’s heard your response loud and clear.

“I meant it in a gay way,” you mutter, slightly embarrassed for the moment.

“Oh?” Wooyoung quirks a brow, shifting his body so that he practically drapes himself over you, wrapping his arms around your torso and leaning further into you in the next second. His voice is a low drawl right by your ear as his breath tickles the skin of your neck. “Should I start getting jealous, then?”

At the way he can feel you shiver in his arms, a smug smirk is stretching across his features.

“Depends.” You hum, deciding to play along with him for now.

“On?” The grin that pulls onto his lips is nothing short of devious, loving the way you still have yet to pull away from his embrace.

“If you believe there’s really anything to get jealous over.” You shrug, managing to push him slightly off of you for the moment as you close the album and place it to the side.

You can feel the growl reverberate in his chest as you say this, the pleased sound caressing your ears softly. You chuckle, reaching for the next two albums by the same group.

Little do you know of how significant those words are to Wooyoung. If what he’s interpreting them to be is correct, you’re implying that you would still choose him over this female idol any day. Despite the attraction you may feel towards her, the attraction you feel towards him is stronger, so he has nothing to worry about. Besides, you two share a deeper connection. You always will.

The sound of your voice draws him back to the reality before him.

“Two bitches, two bitches, one Porsche,” you mutter, almost subconsciously to yourself as you unwrap the one album.

Wooyoung snorts, “please tell me that’s not actually how the song goes.”

“The demo did,” you laugh, right along with him. “No, they changed it to ‘Two Baddies’, which, in my opinion, doesn’t make it any better.”

“Is the song any good?” He asks innocently.

“Subjective.” You tilt your head, tossing the wrappings into the bag with the others as you place the album on the table in front of you, flipping to where all the inclusions are. “My bias wrecker looks great this comeback, though- holy fuck!”

The gasp that escapes your mouth as you flip the first photocard around is nothing short of shocked. The way he can see your eyes widen, lips parting in awe has a pout tugging at his features. However, it’s the way he can hear you hum in content, nodding your head in the next moment that has the growl of discontent finally escaping him.

“Who is that?” His eyes narrow at the one photocard in your hand, nearly flashing black as he sees the second photocard displaying the same exact male on it.

“Mmmh,” it’s like you don’t even recognize Wooyoung is even there anymore as your hooded eyes stare at the two cards held in your hands, “Yuta. What a fine ass man.”

Wooyoung’s lips pull back against his teeth in a snarl as he releases you from his hold. The worst part is, you don’t even seem to be registering you’re saying these things. The response is so natural from you, almost as if it’s been ingrained in your mind since the very beginning, that Wooyoung hates every second of it. Why can’t you react like that for him? Why can’t he be the one who has you practically drooling at the mere thought of him?

“What’s so special about him, anyways?” He grumbles, crossing his arms against his chest as he slouches in his spot.

“So, it’s only the males I find attractive that you’ll get jealous over?” You quirk a teasing brow as you place the cards back into the album. “Double standard, much.”

“I’ll get jealous over anybody you find attractive that’s not me,” he tells you, a slight rumble to his voice as he watches you flip through the rest of the inclusions with a soft smile on your face.

“Even your brothers?” You quirk a brow knowingly as you close the album, placing it onto the pile with the others in the next second.

He grins, “especially my brothers.”

“It’s a shame, then,” you hum, a teasing lilt to your voice. “You won’t have a reason to be jealous much longer.”

“Oh?” His heart begins racing in his chest, excitement beginning to pour through his veins as he leans closer into you, eyes briefly glancing down to your lips. “Why is that, Beautiful?”

“Because, Woo,” the way you drawl out his name sends a pleasant shiver down his spine, “I find you extremely attractive, so you have no reason to be jealous over someone who doesn’t even know I exist.”

The growl of pleasure that wants to escape him gets caught in his throat, doing whatever he can to stifle his immense satisfaction for the moment. He can tell you have more to say, and like hell is he going to stop you, especially right now.

“You should know, though, that yes, I can still find people attractive, but looks aren’t what matter the most to me.” You shake your head. “In fact, I don’t really care about how someone looks. It’s their attitude and personality that really attracts me to someone in the end. And Sunshine?” You meet his gaze and his breath hitches in his throat at what he sees swirling behind your eyes. “You’re stunning.”

This time, he doesn’t even try to muffle his pleased snarl, eyes swirling with that all too familiar blackness as his hands find purchase on your waist, instantly pulling you on top of his lap so that your legs rest on either side of him. His grip is desperate, fingers digging into the skin of your thighs as he pulls you in closer, staring deeply into your gaze before his own is flicking to your lips once more.

Only, the way your breath hitches in your throat, your whole body tensing as you do so has him freezing in his spot. He can feel how hesitant your touch is as your hands steady yourself on his shoulders, purposely holding yourself away from him as far as you can for the moment.

A soft breath escapes him, immediately releasing his grip on your thighs in the next moment. His eyes droop, averting his gaze as he squeezes his hands into fists beside him on the couch to prevent himself from shaking until the need to touch you, the need to pull you closer into him until there’s no space between your bodies left, dissipates.

“Sorry, Gorgeous,” he swallows thickly, clearing his throat in the next second. “I got a little too carried away.”

Seonghwa is right. You really do make it so difficult to control themselves around you, in any and every way possible. Looks like he owes the eldest an apology.

You move off of him carefully, sitting back onto the couch beside him with just a tad more space between the two of you than before. A fact which makes his heart squeeze in his chest.

Fuck. Why can’t he seem to do anything right? Three steps forwards, one step back.

“It’s okay,” that all too familiar heat rises to your face once more as you reach for another album, attempting to control the trembling of your own hands. “I’m just-“ you let out a soft sigh, “I’m just not used to it.”

Wooyoung blinks, completely caught off guard by your admission. “Surely, you’ve been desired before.”

It’s not a question, but a statement that falls from his lips.

You shoot him a side-eyed glance, hands momentarily pausing in unwrapping the plastic from the album you’re currently holding. Then, you’re letting out a small sigh through your nose, a slight shake to your head. “Not in the way you all want me.”

For a brief moment, that conversation with Seonghwa all those weeks ago flashes through your mind.

“You lie,” there’s no malice in his voice when he says this, only pure and honest disbelief. “Impossible.”

When you remain silent, he shifts closer to you. Though, he’s cautious, not wanting to scare you away again.

“Have you-“ his voice is gentle, swallowing the sudden dryness in his throat. “Have you ever-“

“If you’re asking about whether or not I’ve had sex before, the answer is yes.” You reply, keeping your gaze locked on the album in your hands as you cling to it for dear life. “Now, whether it’s been satisfactory or not… well, that’s a different story.”

“What imbecile didn’t take the time to learn how to please you properly?” He nearly scoffs.

“You’d be surprised,” you huff, flipping open your album quite pointedly as if you’re recalling the memory right now.

He nearly growls in response until an idea pops into his mind.

“Well, you know what they say,” he hums, a smug look taking over his features as he leans into you, breath once more tickling the shell of your ear as his voice drops, “it takes a true King to know how to please his Goddess.”

The way his words have your breath hitching in your throat has another content rumble building in his chest, eyes swirling with that all too familiar blackness. The way he can practically smell your scent spiking in arousal has his eyelids practically fluttering shut, the ghost of a moan on his lips.

What Wooyoung wouldn’t give to completely ravish you right now. To pull you into his arms and beg you to let him please you in any and every way he knows how. A single touch isn’t enough. A small taste won’t be able to sate him. He wants it all, - your everything - and he wants it bad.

“Tell me, Gorgeous,” he shifts his head ever so sightly, his nose brushing along the column of your neck and causing a shiver to run down your spine. “When was the last time someone had you trembling from their touch? When was the last time someone worshipped you like you’ve always deserved?”

Your heart skips a beat, voice catching in your throat as your lips part in response.

“Tell me,” he hums, placing a tender kiss right over your racing pulse beneath the skin of your neck, and absolutely revelling in the way a shuddering gasp leaves your lips. “Has no one ever taken the time to drown you in ecstasy, focussing solely on your own pleasure, and the intimacy it brings from knowing that they are the only one to touch you like this? To please you in any and every way they know how, making you come over, and over, and over again for them and them alone?”

“Wooyoung,” your voice is breathless, an airy whimper of his name that he’s long since desperately craved to hear fall from your lips. Hearing it now sends a shiver down his spine, his cock twitching excitedly beneath his slacks.

“Because I would do it all in a heartbeat,” his voice is but a low growl on his lips, shifting once more so that he can nip at the skin of your ear, “and I would never expect anything in return.”

Your eyelids flutter closed, your breathing coming in shallow breaths as you attempt to control yourself for the time being. No one has ever said anything remotely like this to you before, and meant it so sincerely. A fact which just makes heat flood straight to your core, liquid fire burning in your veins. The fact that you believe him only adds to the amount of anticipation growing within you at this very moment.

Much to your disappointment, or perhaps relief, he’s pulling away from you while another pleased rumble escapes his chest.

“How about we save that for later, though,” he trails his fingers down your spine, caressing you tenderly as shivers follow in his wake. “Why don’t we start with you telling me about everything that you like? I cannot please you to the best of my abilities if you do not tell me how.”

Though, even without you saying anything, he can already tell the type of effect his words have had on you. You must absolutely adore when your lover is vocal, then. In every way possible, too - dirty talk, moans, groans, growls. Wooyoung is willing to bet you love praise, too, and heartfelt confessions during the moment, especially if your reactions now are anything to go by.

Still, anything and everything there is to know about you, he wants to find out. What better way, too, than to ask?

A moment later and you’re inhaling a shaky breath as your eyelids flutter opened once more. You take a few calming breaths to steady yourself, noticing how he continues to trail his fingers along the back of your spine comfortingly, the touch both soothing and sensual at the same time.

“No one’s-“ you swallow the dryness in your throat, “no one’s ever asked me that before.” 

The admission feels like a condemnation as you clasp your hands in front of yourself while leaning forward to rest your elbows on your knees. An image he recognizes from last week as he watches you curl in on yourself in embarrassment.

“I don’t think anyone’s ever cared enough to ask,” you say, your thumbs nervously rubbing over one another.

Immediately, his entire demeanour is shifting and the tension around the both of you lessons. Concern is on his features as his one hand stills on your back, the other reaching over to gently cup you chin using the tips of his fingers, guiding your gaze to meet his. The sincerity and love that you can see shining there has your breath hitching in your throat once more.

“I do.” His voice is firm as he stares deeply into your eyes. “I care. More than you’ll ever know.”

You smile faintly, heart racing in your chest at his words as you feel your entire body relax in his hold. Your eyes briefly glance down to his lips before a small, albeit hesitant, smirk is pulling at your own. “I didn’t think I’d need to explain the female gaze to you."

“The only female’s gaze who is important to me right now is your own, Beautiful.” He breathes out, his skin singing beneath his fingertips where his touches your own. “I want to know everything about you. I want to know what makes that pretty little mind of yours tick. I want to know your greatest desires, and I want to be the one to be able to fulfill them all.” 

He swallows, licking his lips in the next moment as his voice drops, his eyes hooding over as his grip tightens against your back. “I want to know every single little thing that drives you crazy, and then I want to drown you in the deepest of pleasures so that you can feel my love, my passion for you in everything that I do. Every touch, every whisper is for you, and you alone. Please, never forget that.”

“Wooyoung,” again, the way you whisper his name, so tenderly as your one hand comes up to cup his cheek, has his eyes fluttering shut, a shaky breath escaping him as he leans into your touch. “I believe you.”

His heart is pounding in his chest, and he’s sure that you can feel it pulsing beneath your fingertips as he watches you begin to lean in. His eyes glance to your lips once more just as he knows yours do the same to his, his tongue darting out to wet them in the next second.

This is everything he’s ever wanted, and so much more. The only thing that would make this moment sweeter is hearing you say how badly you want to kiss him, just as he does to you right now.

Only, before the question of permission can escape his lips, a harsh clearing of somebody’s throat draws both of your attention to the side.

You practically fling yourself away from Wooyoung, and to the opposite end of the couch as you both turn to see Jongho standing there with his arms crossed over his chest.

“No fucking in the library.” His voice is low, accusatory as he glares at his brother across from him.

“I wasn’t-“ you splutter, eyes wide in shock, “we weren’t-“

“Aw, come on, Jongie,” Wooyoung whines teasingly, “you ruin all the fun.”

Internally, though, Wooyoung is more than irritated with the younger male right now. He was this close to finally kissing you after simply dreaming about it for so long, and then Jongho had to go and ruin it for him. Ugh, Wooyoung could just scream.

From the pointed glare the younger sends him, too, a smug upturn of his lips as he takes a seat in the empty armchair across form the two of you, Wooyoung knows that Jongho’s doing this on purpose.

You little fucking shit. Wooyoung glares at him from across the way.

It’s not my fault you’re sitting in the place that I frequent the most. Jongho retorts, flipping open the book held in his hands quite exaggeratedly in the next second and pulling out his bookmark before beginning to read.

Wooyoung is so caught up in cussing his brother out mentally that he doesn’t even register that you’ve managed to recover much quicker than he has. In the next moment, an excited ‘oh’ is escaping you as you finally pull the photocards out of the other album you had unwrapped a little while ago.

Immediately, Jongho is glancing at you from over his book with a fond look in his eyes. “Who’d you get?”

“Jaehyun.” You smile to yourself, placing the inclusions all back into the album before reaching for the final two on the table.

Little do you notice the way both males seem to stiffen as soon as the admission is out of your mouth.

You mean that same bastard that broke her heart? Wooyoung nearly growls audibly.

At least we know which one he is now. Jongho adds.

“Who’s Jaehyun?” Before he can stop himself, the words are out of Wooyoung’s lips.

“Isn’t that just the million dollar question right there?” You sigh, shaking your head. “He’s just an idol I enjoy.”

“Enjoy how?” Jongho quirks his brow at you, doing his best to hide the snarl that pulls at his lips behind his raised book.

“In the same ways I enjoy the other idols I like, you weirdo,” you shoot him a suspicious look. “What are you expecting me to say? That I saw him every weekend for funsies until he broke my heart, and now I’m stuck in a sad bit of unrequited love pining after an idol I can never have?”

The snarls both men release are probably the most feral you have ever heard from them.

“Woah, okay,” you raise your hands, a semi-amused chuckle falling from your lips. “Reminded me not to joke about the idols I like around you guys anymore.” Then, more to yourself, “and here I thought the reaction to Kai and Taemin was bad.”

Wooyoung’s eyes flash at the mention of those two dancers, but specifically Taemin. There you go again, probably thinking about him when Wooyoung is right there, ready and willing to dance for you at a moment’s notice. Not to mention how he literally just admitted to being open to pleasing you whenever and wherever you wanted him to.

“We’re just…” Jongho searches for the right word, “concerned, given the fact that you told Yeosang and I that he broke your heart without a care.”

“Wait,” you blink at him, brow furrowing in the next second, “you thought I was serious about that? Did you also believe me when I said Samantha pushed me off the swings when we were five, and I scraped my knee?”

Jongho shoots you a bit of an irritated look.

“Darling, I wasn’t being serious.” You chuckle, and the use of the pet name has him instantly relaxing in his seat, unlike a certain demon beside you who only pouts at the fact that your attention is no longer on him for the moment.

“We just worry about you, Angel.” Wooyoung replies, a gentle tone to his voice as he looks towards you. “Knowing that you’ve been hurt before drives us insane because we haven’t been there to protect you.”

“I appreciate the sentiment, Woo. I really do,” you shoot him a tender smile as you reach for the second last album you have yet to open. “But, you all won’t be able to protect me from everything. No matter how badly you may want to.”

“We can try.” Jongho mutters, flipping the page of his book rather pointedly.

You let out an amused huff, shaking your head in the next moment as a silence settles over the three of you. It’s neither tense, nor awkward as you finish opening the final two albums on the table, a smile painting your features as you manage to pull a few of your biases for Stray Kids, sending a quick pic to your friend as you’ve also pulled one of hers.

Immediately, she’s texting you back, saying she’ll trade you her Lee Know for the Bang Chan you’ve pulled. Of course, you immediately agree, a smile tugging at your lips as she sends you a meme imitating how you usually react to seeing Minho in general.

“Thighs, huh?” Wooyoung’s voice is teasing, the same lilt to his tone as there was when he inquired about a certain knife kink you may or may not have.

At this, Jongho shoots a quick look towards his brother from overtop of his book, sliding slightly downwards in his seat to extend his own legs outwards, emphasizing the thickness of his thighs as he spreads them slightly apart. He nearly smirks when Wooyoung sends him a mental image of that brief flash of your phone screen with a meme of a gold star with ‘goddamn, your thighs are just *positive grunting*’ printed on it beneath a message of your friend saying ‘you when you see Minho’s thighs’.

“Female gaze, remember?” You decide to tease back, a quirk to your brow as you quickly lock your phone before standing back to your feet. Not before sparing a quick glance at the way Jongho is now sitting, of course. In the next second, you’re turning to your shelves. “Now, the fun part!”

The next hour or so is spent integrating your new books and albums onto your shelves, fitting them in nicely where there’s space and moving some things around to categorize them how you like. The two males still keep you company, chatting with you idly to pass the time.

Wooyoung did offer to help at first, but you brushed him off, saying you were okay for now. You admitted you don’t really like other people touching your albums when you shift, because that way if you drop them, or damage them in any way, you have no one but yourself to blame. That is, until near the end of everything, when they hear you swear under your breath.

“Shit,” you sigh, looking back at the coffee table where the last few albums rest as you purposely hold the space open on the shelf for them. You turn to look at the two men already staring at you. “Can one of you-“ you immediately stop, recalling the way your sweater was torn in two by two other eager demons ready and willing to lend a helping hand. “Sunshine, can you please hand me those albums on the table?”

“Of course I can, Gorgeous!” Immediately, he’s hopping up from his spot, a large smile on his face as he reaches for the albums.

“Remember,” your smile is nothing short of threatening, “if you damage them in any way, I will damage you.”

Wooyoung falters for only a moment as he picks up the albums from the table. Then, a sultry grin is pulling at his lips at he walks over to you. 

“Promise?” His voice is full of hope, his eyebrows raising at you expectantly.

“Wooyoung!” You gasp, clearly scandalized as your mouth parts in shock, hitting his arm lightly with your free hand as he comes to stand beside you. “I’m starting to think you’re a masochist.”

“Oh, you have no idea,” Jongho snorts from his seat, turning another page of his book as his brother shoots him a pointed look from over his shoulder.

Your eyes widen in understanding, a chuckle falling from your lips as you take the albums from Wooyoung’s hand to place them on the shelf before you. A moment later, you take a step back, admiring your work.

“Looks wonderful, Darling,” Jongho appears on your opposite side, hand finding purchase on your lower back as he looks over your shelves with you.

The best part is, you don’t move away, or brush off his touch like the last few times he had attempted to initiate contact with you.

You smile faintly, admiring the detailing of the library once more. Your heart swells in your chest as those all too familiar emotions of awe and gratitude flood your veins, eyes shining as they roam over the shelves of your collection.

“Oh, perfect timing,” you hear a voice from the doorway to your left. “Looks like you’ve just finished.”

Turning your head, you see both Mingi and Yeosang standing there with grins on their faces.

“I did,” you confirm, stepping back towards the table to grab the bag with all your garbage in it to clean it up, only to see it already gone.

“Great!” Mingi grins, sharing a look between his two other brothers standing just off to your right. “Yeosang and I have something to show you.”

“You do?” You blink in mild shock. “What is it?”

“It’s a surprise, My Dear,” Yeosang smiles at you, extending his hand out to you in invitation.

Instantly, you close the distance between the both of you, placing your hand in his. Yeosang wastes no time in interlocking your fingers together, leading you out of the library in the next second with the others following close behind.

Slowly, he leads you through the hallways and back to your own room. Only, you don’t recall closing your door when you left. Which is when you realize that the surprise must be inside, especially given the way Mingi giddily smiles at you when you spare him a glance over your shoulder.

You pause just outside the threshold, anticipation and excitement shining in both Yeosang’s and Mingi’s eyes as they watch you carefully. Both Jongho and Wooyoung stand just behind, also eager to see your reaction to their brother’s gifts. After all, your happiness brings them no greater sense of joy, or pride, especially when they are the cause of it.

“Go on, Starlight,” Mingi encourages softly with a nod of his head. “We’re right here.”

Carefully, you extend your free hand out to turn the handle, entering your room shortly after that. As soon as you cross the threshold, a gasp is escaping your lips.

“No fucking way,” your jaw drops, along with your hold on Yeosang’s hand as you see the giant Snorlax beanbag chair sitting off to the side, a black fuzzy lump curled up right in the centre of it.

The first step you take closer to the cushion is synonymous with the little furry lump’s raise of it’s head, and you cannot help but let your jaw drop. In the next second, an excited squeal is escaping your lips as you cover your mouth with both hands.

“Is that-“ you turn to look at both Mingi and Yeosang, eyes shining in awe. “Is that Kuroo?”

Mingi nods, eyes crinkling at the sides as he smiles widely at you.

At the soft mewl you hear, you turn your head just in time to see the little black kitten with the golden eyes jump off of the giant Snorlax and trot over to you. Happily, he rubs against your leg, beginning to purr quite loudly as you pick him up and hold him in your arms.

“Oh, yes, hello there,” you chuckle as Kuroo rubs his face all along your jaw and neck, purring all the while. “I’m happy to see you, too, Tetsurou.”

At the lick he gives your cheek, you giggle, and it’s one of the most melodic sounds the four men have had the pleasure of hearing, soft smiles adorning their faces as they take in the sight before them. What makes it even better is that in the next moment, you’re turning back around to face them, that look of wonder and awe directed directly at them.

“Which one of you-“ you briefly glance between Mingi and Yeosang.

“I did,” Mingi smiles once more, feeling his heart race as the bright expression is mirrored on your own face, directed straight at him. The fact that he feels you tenderly reach out with your mind to his own in this moment only makes it all the more sweeter.

“And the Snorlax?” You turn to look towards the shorter male standing right beside his brother knowingly.

“Was me, Dearest,” Yeosang nods in confirmation, a loving smile tugging at his features as you send one back. A fact which has Yeosang’s heart racing erratically in his chest.

You walk up to them, a warmth blooming in your chest as you take the time to meet each of their gazes.

“Thank you,” you breathe out, holding Kuroo securely in your one arm as you reach out to place a kiss onto Mingi’s cheek before turning to Yeosang and placing a lingering kiss onto his forehead. “The both of you.”

Mingi’s ears turn bright red, a giddy chuckle escaping him as he brings his one hand up to cover the cheek you’ve just graced with your lips. His fingers press lightly into his tingling skin, heart swelling with love for you and only you. He smiles wide, eyes crinkling naturally in response.

“Of course, Starlight,” his voice is barely above a whisper as he responds to you.

“We’re just glad you like the surprises we got for you,” Yeosang replies with a smile of his own, cheeks warming as he clasps his hands in front of himself almost bashfully. 

He can feel his forehead tingling from where you’ve kissed him, and he couldn’t help but to notice how he’s the only one to have ever been graced such an intimacy with you. Sure, three of his other brothers have all received kisses on the cheek from you, but he’s the only one who has had your lips grace his forehead. Besides, if Yeosang didn’t know any better, he would swear that your lips lingered against his skin a little longer than the rest, too.

“I love them,” you reply earnestly, scratching happily at Kuroo’s chin as he continues to purr loudly in your arms. “Now, could one of you hold him? There’s an urgent matter I need to attend to.”

“Of course, Dearest,” Yeosang is already moving to take Kuroo from you without a second thought.

“Thank you,” you grin while handing the kitten over to Yeosang. “Now, if you’ll excuse me for a moment.”

All of the boys share a brief, curious glance with one another as they watch you walk right up to the Snorlax bean bag chair before flopping face first into it with your arms spread wide.

You let out a blissful sigh. “Yeah, this is the life.”

None of them can help the fond chuckles that escape them, projecting this happy memory immediately to the others who are more than willing to share in your joy, even if they’re not in the room. The way your legs seem to be kicking slightly in earnest behind you has warmth flooding their veins, jaws twinging from smiling so widely.

“I think I’m going to have a nap,” you call from over your shoulder, snuggling deeper into the plush comfort of the Snorlax beneath you. “This is way too comfortable to be legal.”

“We’re glad you’re enjoying yourself, Dearest,” you hear Yeosang reply from behind you.

“We’ll let you rest, then,” Jongho says, and you can hear the soft smile in his voice as they begin to exit your room.

Just as Mingi goes to shut your door like you normally do, your voice calling out to him stops him right in his tracks.

“You can leave the door open, Min,” you turn to look at him from over your shoulder and notice the way he freezes with his hand still holding the knob. You smile softly at him. “I don’t mind.”

Mingi nods gently back in acknowledgement, his eyes shining with something you can’t quite understand from this far away. He leaves only a moment later, but not before wishing you sweet dreams, an adoring smile on his features.

Little do you realize the significance of what leaving your door open for them means. The trust alone makes their hearts flutter in their chests, warmth flooding their veins as content rumbles build beneath the surface. 

The opening of your door feels like the opening of your heart. To all of them. A fact of which they could not be more grateful for.

Turning back around, you adjust your position on the large plush beneath you, cradling your head beneath your arms as you let out a blissful sigh. Cuddling deeper into the cushion, you close your eyes, letting the darkness consume your thoughts and mind.

About an hour and a half later, your eyes are fluttering open, sleep still clinging to the corners. You yawn, stretching your limbs outwards like a cat would as you rub your neck. Next time, you should definitely grab a pillow or something for extra support.

Shifting slightly, you feel a small warmth at your side that mewls when you move.

A smile tugs at your features as you turn yourself around, allowing Kuroo to immediately crawl onto your chest and curl up into a little ball there. You fingers gently stroke through his fur, giving him soft, gentle scratches as he begins to purr once more. A few minutes later, and he’s fallen back asleep, perfectly content to lay on your chest.

Being stuck beneath a cat, or any animal like this, is never a bad thing. As your fingers continue to mindlessly pet Kuroo, it allows you time to think. All of the events from the past week and a day flood your mind, and that familiar warmth blossoms in your chest.

Despite the minor setback you had, and the major one with Miyeon, you do trust them. More than that, you appreciate their honesty. For, to you, it not only demonstrates the trust that they have in you, but also their respect.

Taking a deep breath in to steel your nerves, you decide it’s time to extend that same curtesy.

You drop your void.

It’s Yunho that notices first. Is everything alright, Petal?

Everything’s fine, you don’t need to panic. You reassure all of them. Don’t be popping up in my room suddenly, either.

Aw, darn, you hear Wooyoung jokingly complain. There go my plans for the evening.

Did you sleep well, Starlight? It’s Mingi’s voice that echoes through your head next, and you cannot help but smile softly, his concern easing some of the tension you can already feel building within.

I did. You hum. Thank you, Min.

You cannot see him, but you just know he’s smiling at you right now.

There’s, uh, actually something I wanted to share with you all. You begin, somewhat nervously. But I want you all to promise me not to come running. It’s nothing bad, I swear. I just don’t want to be crowded, and I’ve already received the comfort I needed at the time. I just- they can all hear you sigh, I just want you all to understand some things about me that I think you all deserve to know.

Did you kill someone? Perhaps it’s just you, but San sounds just a little too hopeful in his inquiry.

What? No! You immediately respond, and you notice how your shoulders relax from the distraction. 

You smile softly to yourself as Kuroo stretches, curling deeper into your chest.

Whatever it is you would like to tell us, My Love, know that we are all ears. Hongjoong’s gentle tone resounds in your head, and you can feel the way he reaches out to you to caress your mind tenderly.

Thank you, Joongie, you reply, subconsciously leaning into his phantom touch.

Hongjoong nearly drops the dagger he had been sharpening in his hands. This is the first time you’ve ever referred to him with an affectionate name, and he wants to revel in it. His heart thunders, for more than one reason now.

One of you already knows what I’m about to share with you all, you begin and Seonghwa can already sense where this is going, but I need you all to promise me not to come running.

There’s a brief moment where you can practically feel them all agreeing with one another before one of them is speaking to you in your mind.

We promise, My Love. Hongjoong informs you, a lingering feeling tugging at the back of his mind as to what you might be about to share with them.

Okay. Good. You nod to yourself before continuing. You’ve all been honest with me this past week, and I want to extend that same curtesy to you. I am sharing this memory with you all because I trust you, and I feel comfortable enough to do so. It will hopefully shed a little bit of light on why things have been a little rough to start on my end.

You pause, and they all wait anxiously for your thoughts to return. They can feel the nervousness pouring off of you in waves, the uncertainty in your emotions clear as day. This is a big part of yourself you’re sharing with them, after all. The vulnerability alone is astounding, and each male recognizes that, even before you continue.

Whenever you’re ready, Dearest. Yeosang’s soft voice assures you, feeling him also reach out to caress you tenderly with his mind in the next second.

You lean into his touch more than you realize.

Immediately, all eight of them are plunged into your memory, unfamiliar to all, except two.

“Do you want to know why I reacted the way I did when that happened?” You seem to be sitting inside of Seonghwa’s tailor shop, said man sitting across from you with your sweater held firmly in his hands.

That’s when they all realize: this is what transpired between the both of you that day all those weeks ago. You are finally sharing this memory with them, a fact which could not make them happier as Seonghwa’s own words about this not being his memory to share with them rings through their ears.

Intently, they all listen, hearing your words wash over them as you explain your feelings to the eldest in your memories. Each cannot help the way their breaths hitch at hearing that you actually enjoyed Seonghwa’s ministrations that first day all those weeks ago. A fact which still takes the eldest’s breath away hearing it for the nth time in your shared memories.

The echoes of your conversation from earlier begin to flit through Wooyoung’s mind as he listens to you admit to everything in your memory. No wonder you were so tense when he pulled you into his lap today. No wonder you said what you did.

If each of them could, they would go back in time to comfort you right then and there, pulling you softly into their embrace and whispering sweet nothings into your ears. They would tell you that you have nothing to worry about. That they do want you. You, and only you. Yet, from where this is going, they know Seonghwa’s already beat them to it.

Mingi and San both drop the glasses in their hands as they hear you utter words that could not be more untrue in this memory of yours.

“It’s because I’m not- I’m not beautiful.”

Wooyoung falls to his knees in his room, mirrored exactly by how Yeosang collapses into a chair in his own at this admission. Yunho, who had been working on painting a bouquet of your favourite flowers, drops his brush, managing to spill his paint water all over the floor without even realizing. The book Jongho had gone back to reading tumbles to the floor, his whole body frozen in shock as your words reverberate through him. 

The two eldest, who had both been expecting such an admission, are still not prepared for how harshly their hearts squeeze in their chests at hearing you say such an untrue thing once more in your memory.

Unbeknownst to you, tears spring to each male’s eyes, falling freely down their faces as your emotions within the memory wash over them.

The last glimpse they see of the memory is Seonghwa’s look of complete and utter bewilderment before he’s hissing out, “That is the filthiest lie that has ever fallen from your lips and you know it.”

A fact of which they all agree upon.

You end the memory there, choosing not to share with the seven men the words of comfort Seonghwa had given to you at the time. A sort of silence settles over all of you as you let the memory sink in. That is, until you’re breaking it.

Well, now you all know. Your voice is calmer than you feel, inhaling a shaky breath as you hold onto Kuroo’s soft body for support. Do with that what you will.

In the blink of an eye, you’ve closed your mind off to them once more.

San’s reaction is immediate, the sentiment echoed by nearly all of his brothers as he prepares himself for what he’s about to do.

I need to go to her. He’s about to transport to your room despite the promise they all made not to. Until Yeosang is appearing beside him and holding him back. Let me go! She needs me!

We all promised her we wouldn’t disturb her after this. Mingi reminds him mentally, even if he is also having a hard time not running to you immediately and pulling you into his arms, comforting every negative thought in that beautiful head of yours until they are no more.

This is not just difficult for you, San. Seonghwa reminds him.

Says you. Jongho is having a hard time keeping his breathing under control as more tears escape his eyes. You were there. You gave her comfort at the time, didn’t you?

Of course I did! Seonghwa’s response is immediate. Do you think that little of me, brother, that I would let the love of our lives believe such filthy lies about herself?

We never doubted your integrity, Hwa. Yunho wipes at his tears before moving to clean up the spilt water on there ground. Any one of us would have comforted her were we in that situation.

Did anyone else know? Yeosang finally manages to calm San down enough to sit him in a chair, the two clinging to each other practically for dear life as another sob escapes the younger’s throat.

A moment of silence as most of them deny knowing. All, except one.

Captain? It’s Mingi’s soft voice that asks.

I did. Hongjoong admits, staring intently at the dagger held in his hand. I overheard them talking that day, and concealed myself so Hwa wouldn’t know I was there.

When did you get there? Seonghwa asks, a slight frown pulling at his features. Only Hongjoong could sneak up on him like that. No wonder the younger entered the shop at the point he did, acting the way he did.

Shortly after she admitted that she enjoyed what had transpired between the both of you. Hongjoong tells them, twirling the blade slowly in his grip.

And neither of you told us? It’s Jongho who says it, a hint of bitterness in his voice.

It was not our memory to share. Seonghwa repeats his same words from days earlier.

We could have went to her. Wooyoung attempts to reason. We could have done something to lesson those worries in her mind.

I think we already have. Yeosang breathes, stroking a comforting hand through San’s hair as the younger demon finally calms down enough to speak.

She trusted us enough to share such emotions with us. San says, and they can hear the lingering tears still in his voice. She chose to share that memory with us.

All we can do now going forward is make sure that she never thinks - she never believes - such things to be true about herself. Yunho replies, eyes catching on the now dried out flower crown he has hanging on display at the side of his art room.

I’m sure whatever Seonghwa told her was what we all would have said in the moment. Yeosang adds.

It was. Hongjoong confirms. She believed it, too.

How do you know? San questions, genuine curiosity in his inquiry.

We felt it. Seonghwa answers for him. At least, I know I did.

A moment of silence as they all wipe at their lingering tears.

What are we going to do now? Mingi leans against the wall, supporting himself as he runs a hand through his hair.

We’re going to do what we promised her we would, and give her as much time and space she needs until she wants us to go to her, or she comes to one of us. Hongjoong responds. Until that time, just go back to whatever you were doing. Or do whatever you can to pass the time and take your mind off of things for now.

Echoes of agreement sound throughout each other’s minds, each male going off to do their own things to channel their feelings for the moment.

Immediately, Yunho is grabbing a fresh canvas, setting the one with the bouquet of your favourite flowers aside for the moment. If there’s one thing he knows he can do right now, is express himself through his art, and he knows exactly what he’s going to paint. 

Grabbing a pencil to begin outlining the figure, a single tear escapes his eye once more.

Artistry be damned, Yunho is going to paint the most beautiful portrait of his life right now, and he doesn’t care if it takes him weeks to do it. By the time he’s done, he’ll have painted the exact way he sees you. A fact which he hopes will make you never question your unfathomable beauty again.

Meanwhile, Seonghwa loses himself in his shop. He grabs a fresh stencil, outlining a design for a new dress, this one even more extravagant than the rest. A brief thought crosses his mind, but he quickly shakes it away. He doesn’t think you’re ready for that type of gift from him, yet. Though, perhaps he’ll still start a set for you. After all, he only wants you to feel as beautiful as he’s always known you are.

By the time he’s done designing and fashioning you an entire outfit like this, you will finally be able to realize the royalty that you are. By the time he’s finished, he’ll make sure you both look and feel like a Queen.

Jongho, on the other hand, begins browsing through the stacks of poetry in the library. He’s always been better with words on paper than with speaking them, anyways. Besides, he’s more of a listener, and he loves listening to you, but perhaps this time, it’s better if you listen to what he has to say.

Pulling some books off of the shelf, Jongho is quick to grab a highlighter and a pen. Once he’s done, he will have compiled an entire library’s worth of quotes from his favourite poems and poets about how he feels about you, and of beauty, life, and love. He will quote them to you as you read them, repeating every annotation he adds in order for you to understand what you mean to him.

There is no greater part of himself that he can give to you than the pieces of his soul scattered throughout his favourite pieces of literature for you to find. For you, and only you.

San, Mingi, and Hongjoong all do what they normally do when they need to relieve some tension from their bodies. They spar, practice, and train. 

Hongjoong focusses on throwing his knives, hitting each target and pretending that they are every single person who has ever made you feel less about yourself, or insignificant in some way. He imagines skinning everyone alive who has ever told you such lies and made you believe you are not the most beautiful thing to have ever walked this earth in decades. He only wishes he could kill all of your insecurities in the same ways.

Mingi and San spar with each other, a tangle of emotions and limbs as they clash their weapons against one another. Each male has tears still lining their eyes, not caring how rough or irrational they’re being with their attacks right now. The only thing on their minds is how best to comfort you when you call; how best to protect your mind from such horrid thoughts taking control again.

There are tears in Wooyoung’s eyes as he vents his frustrations out while in the dance studio, the speakers playing some of his favourite songs. Choreographies he’s made for you are second nature to him at this point as he runs through the dances again, and again, and again until he collapses onto the ground in a pile of sweat and tears. The sound of the music barely muffles his sobs, his mind reeling with both your shared memory and what happened with you earlier in the day.

Wooyoung doesn’t regret what he said or did earlier, no. He only wishes he knew. He wishes he could have controlled himself better, or even tried to brush against your mind to see if you would be open to sharing your thoughts in the moment. 

He just doesn’t understand how you can’t see how precious you are to him. To all of them. He feels as if they’ve failed you, that he has failed you by not making you see how utterly stunning you are to him - to all of them. He’ll just have to find a way to show you; to make you believe you are both incredibly special and beautiful for the rest of your life.

At the same time, Yeosang finds himself in the music room, picking up the instrument that he loves so dearly. He spends a minute tuning it, making sure everything is properly in its place before bringing the small piece of carved wood and strings up to his shoulder. Raising the bow in the next second, he begins to paint a melody, letting the music guide him through his emotions.

The notes soon begin to flow together, blending into a hauntingly beautiful symphony that cascades around the room as his eyes flutter shut. He’s always had a way of getting lost in the music he creates, and when it now concerns you - the emotions you shared, the memory, and everything that you make him feel, Yeosang cannot help but to let the sombre notes ring out.

The song is hauntingly beautiful, reflecting every emotion that he’s feeling right now for you. The melody itself is you, embodied within his music - how he sees you, how you make him feel, what you do to him. Everything that you mean to him is put into the way he draws his bow across the strings, his fingers pressing into the neck of the violin as he plays this song for you.

He doesn’t know how long it’s been since he’s started, but by the time he hears footsteps approaching the room, the sun is beginning to set behind him. The warm hues of light filter through the large windows as he rounds out the melody, heartbeat racing erratically as he recognizes those soft footfalls to be yours, drawing closer and closer to the music room with each step.

His back is turned to you when you reach the open doorway, and he can feel your gaze staring intently at him as he lets the last note ring out through the air. Slowly, he lowers the instrument to his side, turning to face you in the next moment.

The moment his eyes meet yours, your breath hitches in your throat. The tender love and affection you can see shining there sets your heart racing. Not only that, but the clear concern, and empathy you can see lingering there, too, has a warmth spreading through your entire body.

You smile at him softly, an expression which he returns almost immediately.

“You play beautifully.” You comment, voice a bit airy as your breath escapes you in awe.

That single expression - and admission - is enough to knock the wind right out of his lungs.

“Thank you.” His voice is small, heart catching in his throat as you two stare at one another.

“How long have you been playing for?” There’s an excitement in your voice that he can hear you trying to contain for the moment. A fact which just makes him smile, palms suddenly becoming sweaty at you interest in his other passion.

“A millennia or so,” he admits, running his thumb lovingly over a string as he holds the violin at his side. “Give or take a few centuries.”

“Wow,” your eyes go wide, swallowing the sudden dryness in your throat. “Can I-“ you nervously shift from foot to foot, averting your gaze so sweetly. “May I watch you play?”

Yeosang nearly collapses on the spot. This is everything he’s always wanted, and so much more.

He clears his throat, a soft smile gracing his features as he meets your gaze, “I would be honoured.”

Slowly, carefully, he walks over to your form still standing in the doorway. Extending his free hand out to you in offering, he gently guides you into the room. Your touch, placed so delicately on top of his own, sends a pleasant shiver up his spine, his thumb brushing over the skin on the back of your hand.

“I, uh-“ he clears his throat, helping you sit down on the piano bench at the side of the room, “I actually have something that I would like to play for you. Would that be okay?”

Immediately, you nod your head, eyes lighting up as a smile adorns your features. “I would be honoured.”

It’s the way you repeat his very own words back to him, combined with the way you’re looking at him right now that has a feeling unlike any other spreading throughout his body. It’s a pleasant feeling, yes, but there’s also a lingering sense of nervousness that Yeosang has not felt when he’s played in years.

He says nothing, opting to place a lingering kiss onto your forehead instead before stepping away from you and taking his place once more in the centre of the room. The way he feels you brushing against his mind has him immediately latching onto that feeling, solidifying that connection so that you both won’t be disturbed by the others.

This moment is for the two of you, and the two of you only. Nothing will change that.

With the connection open like this, Yeosang is privy to all of your thoughts and emotions. He can sense the excitement strumming through your blood, making your pulse race beneath your delicate skin. He can feel the anticipation lingering in your mind, curious to hear the song that he wants to play for you. His only hope is that you like it, and that he can do such a song, given it’s meaning to you, justice.

He raises his instrument, bow at the ready, as he shoots you a final smile. A soft one being sent back from you almost instantly.

Taking a deep breath, Yeosang begins to play.

As soon as you hear the first notes echoing around the room, your whole body straightens in your spot. Your breath hitches in your throat, heart leaping in your chest as tears spring to your eyes. Immediately, your one hand comes up to cover your mouth while the other grasps at the jewel shining around your neck.

The beautiful sound of the melody of Rohan fills the air, flooding your senses and comforting you like a warm blanket on a cold day. Your absolute favourite violin melody.

You can feel your entire body trembling as the first of your tears begin to trail down your cheeks, your hands never leaving their positions for even a second. Chills wrack your body as goosebumps form over your skin, the meaning and significance of such a song washing over you in this very moment.

With each rise and fall of the notes, your breath hitches, sitting frozen to your spot as you watch Yeosang lose himself to the melody, his eyes having long since fallen shut.

It isn’t a very long song by any means, the simple melody only lasting a minute, maybe a minute and a half at most. However, the fact that he learned this for you, that he is playing this for you because he wants to, not because you asked him to, or he felt the need to, has your heart swelling in your chest. 

More tears trail silently down your cheeks as the final notes ring out in the air between you. You wipe at your eyes, chest shaking as you inhale a breath, your emotions overwhelming you.

Every thought, every feeling, Yeosang understands. His mind is still connected to yours, so every fleeting emotion you felt during his performance, he felt, too. A fact which has his own heart thundering away in his chest as he’s over come by your awe, your gratitude, your wonder, your fondness, but more than all of that, a single emotion he’s never experienced from you before. An emotion that he doesn’t want to assume, or feel for too long, as he doesn’t want to get his hopes up before the time is due.

Wordlessly, you stand to your feet, drying your eyes with the back of your hands. You swallow the lump in your throat, taking a deep breath to steady your nerves.

“Yeosang,” the soft call of his name from your lips is like the gentlest of breezes caressing his skin after a long summer’s day. You begin to step towards him slowly. “Did you-“

You can hardly form the words, but he already knows exactly what you want to say. Even if you both already know the answer, you still want to hear him say it. You need to hear him say it.

“I did.” He breathes, allowing his arms to fall to his sides, his one hand holding both his violin and bow. “I learnt it for you.” A brief pause as he swallows. “I learned them all for you.”

All of your favourite songs. He taught himself all of your favourite songs on the violin for you.

You can hear your heartbeat echoing in your ears as you come to stand in front of him, tongue darting out to wet your lips. A movement, which you notice, that he catches.

Softly, your one hand comes up to caress the side of his face, eyes shining with all of the unspoken words you wish to convey. Not only that, but there’s such adoration and fondness shining there, that he cannot help but stare into them. 

He leans into your touch, raising his free hand to gently place it over your own.

“Thank you,” you breathe out, caressing his cheek softly with your thumb. “Yeosang, thank you.”

It’s one of the greatest, most meaningful gifts you could ever give me.

His heart skips a beat in his chest, eyelids fluttering shut as he revels in both your touch, and your praise. Anything for you, Dearest.

Your lips part, glancing down at his own as you subconsciously step closer into him.

“Can I-“ your breath catches in your throat, hardly able to get the proper words out. “May I-“

“Yes,” Yeosang’s eyes are flinging open, a desperation you’ve never seen before shining within as he hears you pose the question in your mind. “Please, Dearest. Kiss me.”

Your lips are on his without another thought, your one hand moving to tangle in his hair as the other continues to cradle the side of his face tenderly in your palm. Without another thought, you deepen the kiss, pulling him in closer as he gently cradles the back of your head with his one hand, his opposite arm wrapping around your waist and pulling you into him.

Yeosang cannot help but let the pleased rumble that builds in his chest escape him as he feels you tug him closer into you. This is everything that he could have ever asked for, and so much more, especially when he hears the small whine escape your throat as he pulls away, teasingly tugging your lower lip between his teeth as he does so.

His eyes fall shut once more as you both lean your heads forward to rest against each other. Nothing can take this moment away from him, right here, right now, with you. He revels in the feeling of your hands against his skin, his lips still tingling with the ghost of yours as he attempts to catch his breath, along with you.

“Dearest,” his one hand tightens its hold on you as he pulls you impossibly closer, overcome by his own emotions for the moment as his lips tug upwards in a brilliant smile. “You are my entire world. There is nothing that I would never do for you. I am so in love with you, I fear I lack the words to describe such strong emotions. You are so unbelievable beautiful, kind, intelligent, and unquestionably perfect in every way. Please, never forget that.”

“Yeosang,” you breathe out his name once more, pulling away just enough to stare deeply into his eyes as a tender smile tugs at your features. A brief pause, until you’re uttering the words that have his heart racing once more in his chest, “I believe you.”

[theoncomingchaos]

How MYATB fits the Gothic genre

WARNING: BOOK SPOILERS

Alright, first off, I know the author was not intending to write a Gothic romance, but it seriously fits the genre so well and I need to talk about it.

Here are the main elements of Gothic horror

Supernatural elements

Omens, nightmares, or curses

Unnerving Atmosphere

Gothic Hero

Gothic Villain

Romance

Emotional Distress

Mystery

Power Imbalance

Here is how MYATB fits the criteria.

Supernatural elements primarily come from the cultivation, the magic poison and flowers etc.

We see Huai'en having nightmares about the cliff pretty frequently, and the poison acts like a curse where the cold weather brings him pain. Particularly, the curses in Gothic horror often connect to the past. This can be ancient or recent, and this curse connects to Xiaobao's personal past.

In this story the weather is the main source of unnerving atmosphere. Winter brings physical, torturous pain, and if it rains at all during the several days it takes to perform the cure, then Xiaobao will basically be doomed.

A Gothic hero usually has some big flaw and struggles against some kind of temptation. For Xiaobao, his flaw is that he was spoiled, weak, and naive. He has never known pain, any time he had a slight inconvenience he could cry out and someone would immediately help him. So, learning to see the world as it is, take responsibility for himself, and fight through pain to do what he knows is right is a huge part of his journey. The temptation he struggles with is desire (lust/love). We see this in him proposing to multiple girls in one night and his frequent patronage to brothels, we see this in the way he throws himself onto Huai'en, and we see this in the way he struggles between his continued desire for Huai'en vs. all the hurt, guilt, and red flags.

A Gothic villain usually encapsulates the temptation that the hero has. They are often powerful, beautiful, and seemingly able to work outside of ordinary societal restrictions without fear or restriction. In a Gothic romance- this can be the/a love interest such as in Phantom of the Opera, True Blood, Interview with the Vampire or Jane Eyre. In love, they are often obsessive and controlling, they are liars (from omission or directly), and often have a dangerous side and/or secret. Huai'en is a powerful cultivator, he keeps his identity a secret for good reason, and he is canonically extremely beautiful. Especially in the book, he is a clear symbol of Xiaobao's weakness: he is both beautiful and lustful which early series naive Xiaobao would have thought was all that mattered in being the perfect partner. Although we know most of his worst traits come from his abusive upbringing and his youth, Huai'en absolutely fits the elements. He is obsessed with Xiaobao and extremely possessive. Xiaobao is the only thing he has ever wanted in his life and he is absolutely willing to take Xiaobao away against his will to keep him. His plotting where he attempted to protect the Jin family often included lies of omission because he was trying to control the situation himself. In both the book and series, he shows his violent side both on the battlefield and in bed. The difference here is that unlike many others in this genre, Huai'en is allowed to change and grow for the better and the narrative rewards this change. Eventually, he becomes more selfless in his love.

The romance is obvious. What is beautiful here is that the way they grow is not only perfect for their individual characterization, but it also makes them more suitable for each other. Xiaobao becomes someone who can be an equal partner for Huai'en, and Huai'en becomes someone who can genuinely love Xiaobao.

Both Huai'en and Xiaobao experience extreme emotional distress throughout the story. Xiaobao has to deal with losing his home and the guilt he has over hurting his family and endangering his friends. He has emotional distress over loving Huai'en and wanting to hate him for everything he has done. Huai'en has emotional distress from first discovering desire and his obsessive need for more love and closeness, the abuse and continued pressures of his adopted father, and then trying to get back with Xiaobao while being constantly rejected and pushed away.

The mystery comes primarily from the courtly intrigue. What did the Jin family do? What happened to Huai'en's mother? Who is his father?

The power imbalance between Xiaobao and Huai'en is obvious. Huai'en can and often DOES do whatever he wants to Xiaobao even against his will and Xiaobao can't do anything about it. Xiaobao originally thought he had the power via his money (and when he thought Huai'en was a woman) and coming to terms with not being the one in power in a relationship for the first time in his life is a big blow for him in the book. Xiaobao does gain power in the relationship, but physical power and even social status both leave Huai'en far above. Huai'en may leave behind his family name, but he is still the emperor's son, and the emperor still favors him as such. In the book, even Yuzhan still protects him within limits.

Anyway, looking through the lens of a different genre can bring some new perspective to a story and because I am a fan of Gothic literature, it just makes me love this story even more to see the connections. The book has some stuff that makes it VERY hard to read sometimes, and there are some moments that make you realize the author probably needs a bit more time to cook, but there is a lot of really nicely done narrative beauty in the bones of the story. I'm so happy to see how the series has taken these bones and elevated it. I really hope they stick the landing.

[maleyanderecafe]

I Said I Love you to Death, Didn't I? (Manga)

Created by: Sankaku

Genre: Horror/Mystery

This manga complete at about four chapters and man, is it rather dark but fun. It very lightly reminds me of Killer in Love with the way that the story is going. I'm a big fan of yanderes in mystery stories and I think that the main female, Ai is also rather suspicious in the way she acts around Asumori.

The story starts out with Asumori seeing a ghost affect a man by causing him to drop his phone. Asummori feels useless as he's unable to do anything, but quickly turns to his phone to think about his angel, Ai. At school, the two of the work together to clean up afterschool, with Asumori noticing that a ghost is haunting her as well, thus causing the various injuries she has all over her body. He seems surprised that Ai knows his name, and is overjoyed to be hanging out with her. After he catches her when tripping down the stairs, Ai declares him as her savior after he apologizes for touching her, making him extremely happy. After the two walk home, we see that Asumori lives in a rather abusive home. We see that Asumori has been collecting things that Ai has given him, as well as the fact that his spirit perception seems to transfer, probably explaining why Ai is so strong affected by spirits. As such he promises to stay away from her as much as possible, however, Ai continues to follow after him during school and even afterwards. Asumori gets beat at home by his brother, and ends up walking to the park where he meets Ai again. He explains his bruises to Ai, and Ai explains her own experiences with domestic violence. The two of them continue to get closer, with Ai buying Asumori clothes, going to amusement parks and buying gifts for each other. and Asumori gets more and more obsessed. Asumori watching other guys get close to Ai, to which he starts to get jealous and promises to kill any guys that get close to her. Ai eventually gains powers from Asumori, though despite everything she still wants to be with him. He ends up going to Ai's house where he meets her mother, whom he believes has a distaste for him. Ai tells him that the black shadows come from her father, who had died a while ago. When Asumori goes home, he becomes increasingly worried about what will end up happening to Ai and goes back to her house. There, he is greeted by Ai's mother and Asumori accuses her of killing her husband as well as several other people. We find out that Ai's mother was there to basically stall Asumori and when he goes back, he finds that Ai has already killed off his family. He realizes that the spirits surrounding her are actually the vengeful spirits that she's killed. Ai's mother explains that Ai has anti-social personality disorder and that she was the one who killed her father and is incredibly good at pretending to be normal and that her mother has been moving them around and helping to hide bodies. Ai reveals that her cuts were because of the struggles of other people who tried to resist her, and asks if Asumori would ever abandon him. He promises to never, believing that he was given redemption by Ai. He ends up killing himself to make sure that Ai isn't arrested, and blaming his family's murders on himself, as he loves Ai.

Like I said, although this series is short, it is a good start to what I hope will be a good mystery, perhaps even a psychological one. It reminds me a bit of Killer in Love or even He was My Brother in that aspect, with the yandere growing more obsessed with their lover as the story goes on. We see that the ghost aspect and the fear of him projecting on his, I want to say power, onto her is keeping him from really trying to be close to her, yet he can't help but be drawn in by her kindness. I am a little suspicious of Ai though based on the sudden way that she treats Asumori with kindness, since it seems to be out of nowhere, but it is hard to say with only two chapters out. It could go the Killer in Love route where Ai does actually slowly corrupt Asumori to her own needs, but it feels more like Asumori will become more corrupted because of Ai's unintentional actions like talking to other guys. It does make me wonder where he gets his powers from, whether it's something that he had when he was younger or if it was something that was passed down, as well as what might happen in Ai gains these powers as well. As a yandere, we see that Asumori idolizes Ai a lot, stalking her and keeping track of all the things that she has given her and even taking pride that he is her savior, especially after he finds out that he can dispel the spirits that surround her. I wonder if it ties in with the missing persons report that we hear in the television later on, or even if he's already been doing that before we even knew what was going on.

What's written above are my initial impressions of the series back when there were only about one or two chapters. Now that the story is complete, I have to say I was right about Ai being suspicious and I really love how the story went in the end. I've always mentioned before that I really like it when the yandere's darlings are as bad or sometimes even worse than the yandere themselves and this story really does it well. It first gives the impression that Ai is the one being abused because of her cuts and the various spirits that surround her, however twists it when it's show the cuts are actually from people trying to fight back from when she was killing them. I'm surprised that the mother didn't try to call the police or anything and just continually helped her daughter hide corpses. I suppose living under the fear that her daughter might kill her at any moment would do that to you. Asumori's devotion goes even further when he commits suicide in the end to cover for Ai, fully embracing the love he has for her even in death.

It's a very good, albeit short series with a dark yandere story. I do wish that this creator will make more yandere content in the future since I was a fan of how they were able to surprise me about how Ai really was and how the outcome of Asumori's story ended up being. I hope you will enjoy it too if it is to your taste.

[xiyouyanyi]

Welcome!

@ryin-silverfish here, also known as "That person who talks a lot about FSYY and fox spirits".

This is my little LMK AU sideblog, which started off as a bunch of disjointed background notes for my fanfics, but developed into its own gigantic thing over time.

I've said elsewhere that, despite LMK (and many other JTTW adjacent works) lifting certain tidbits wholesale from FSYY——like Nezha's backstory or the Golden Dragon Shears, neither the show nor the fanworks really go into the implications of a FSYY/JTTW combined universe.

(For one, Zhao Gongming's three sisters, the Sanxiao, showing up to kick Jin and Yin's butts for stealing and breaking their treasure would be very satisfying, and also hella badass.)

Well, be the change you want, they said. 

So here it is: Journey of the Gods, aka "LMK, but FSYY is also canon and an extremely influential historical event".

Inspired by @digitaldoeslmk 's By the Book AU.

What even is FSYY?

"Ancient China's bloodiest bureaucracy recruitment program, kickstarted by a king who simped too hard for the creator goddess of humanity and the fox girl she sent to end his dynasty."

"I'll write my own God-Demon novel, with blackjacks and fox hookers and no Buddhist allegories!" ——Xu Zhonglin/Lu Xixing/Li Yunxiang

Okay, jokes aside: Investiture of the Gods(Fengshen Yanyi) is the other big "God-Demon Novel" of the Ming dynasty, written after JTTW. It's about the toppling of the Shang dynasty and its tyrannical King Zhou by King Wu of Zhou——but with more Daoism, immortals and demons helping out both sides, and ten billion magical formations and treasures. 

At the end of the story, almost everyone who died in battle were deified and became the 365 gods of the Celestial Bureaucracy, thus "Investiture of the Gods". 

Here is a link to the only full English translation of FSYY, by Gui Zhizhong.

Here is my overview of FSYY's grand overarching conflict, a.k.a. "Why are all the Daoist immortals fighting?" 

Compared to JTTW, it's a lot more formulaic and suffers from a massive character count inflation problem, but also extremely influential in Chinese folk religion, to the point of some modern temples, like Qingyang Palace, basically worshiping characters from the novel! Like, the western equivalent would be a church worshiping Dante and Beatrice from the Divine Comedy.

(Similarly, it is to orthodox Daoism what the Divine Comedy is to medieval Christian theology, and should not be treated as actual religious scriptures.)

Okay, FSYY happened in the LMK universe. So What?

Well, first, it will really do wonders to fill up that eerily empty Celestial Realm we see in the Spider Queen special, and the Celestial Bureaucracy will no longer consist of a grand total of five people.

Secondly, it can solve some major show-not-tell problems and actually give legitimacy to the grievances of the LMK Brotherhood + Havoc in Heaven, as well as fleshing out the Celestial Realm.

Third, so many cool magical treasures.

Fourth, LBD gets an origin story, with a twist.

Fifth, I delight in quality angst and horror, and FSYY had some seriously messed-up stuff and implications.

Sixth, Celestial Bureaucracy office politics.

Seventh, Nezha kicking asses and winning fights like he should.

Eighth, crazy Xianxia shit, as you’d expect from the great-granddaddy of modern Xianxia genre.

Ninth, infodumps about Chinese mythos and history trivias.

Tenth, Underworld lore.

...As you can probably tell, this is mostly just me nerding out and writing walls of texts. I'm not a very good artist and can't do Lego style, but will probably doodle some symbol/character designs for funsies.

I also derive most of my enjoyment from writing fix-its and worldbuilding, not shipping characters. Like, I love exploring individual characters through relationships, but just ain't a fan of romance.

There will be a lot of OCs, but unless otherwise specified, all of them will be based on actual characters from FSYY and JTTW, with a few folk gods sprinkled in for funsies.

With that taken care of: good luck and happy reading!