#which is also why i desperately hope they'll keep in him knowing about what happened with claudia and staying with armand regardless

[robynator]

it would be fun if it turns out amc!louis did actually eat the baby. it took him an awful long time to deny that and i would not put it past him to lie to make himself look better in that situation (which he is more than willing to do)

[fatuismooches]

Hi!!! This is my first time saying anything here, so yayyy! But I say that one ask from another anon talking about how Dottore had never recorded fragile!reader's voice before and then forgot what it sounds like, and my brain made some jumps and--

I like to think that sometimes, whether when Dottore is just working in the room while reader sleeps (I like to think that he's modified himself enough that he doesn't need as much sleep as regular humans) or if he's also in the bed with you, that sometimes, reader's sleeping form reminds him a little too much of when reader was in a coma. Or perhaps, even worse, and that reader's time had come while he was sleeping/working. Immediately, he has to reassure himself that you're not, in fact, dead, by either going to check their pulse and keeping his hand there longer than it needs to be (what if they die the second he takes it off??) or, if he was closer to them or sleeping with them (in the literal sense), by even just listening to it. And he tries to rationalize it with himself (bc he's so i denial, I already know it) by being like "noooo, i'm not worried!! I'm a great doctor, and I have nothing to worry about!! I'm just... checking for abnormalities!!" as if he isn't just doing it to make sure they're still alive.

Idk, the thought just popped into my head. He's lost them before without a chance of saying goodbye, and he never wants it to happen again, especially if this time they'll be gone for good.

I'd like to think that reader wasn't really aware of it until one night when he was making a little more noise than usual, and they woke up groggily to find him with their ear on their chest, desperately holding onto you as if you were going to die any second. And then the second he realized you were awake, moved off was like "Hello, I'm not doing anything sus whattt"

So now reader knows he does it, but allows it because they think it's kind of cute, but also because they know that he would never admit his fears.

Anyway, I'm kinda tired, so I don't know if this actually makes any sense. But slay!!

Thank you for feeding us Dottore content, and I hope you have a good day or night!!

You've known Zandik for a long time. So you are very aware that he has weaknesses. Yes, even though the scholar tried to hide it, his walls would slowly chip away during those late nights spent in the dorm or on expeditions. But Dottore? After you woke up, you wondered if Dottore had any weaknesses. Dottore seemed to be a man of no fear, but perhaps you should have expected that because what would someone as God-like as him have to fear now? He has much power in his grasp, surely there is nothing that could bother him. He's no longer the same Zandik you once knew, and that's okay really, but you just wonder to yourself sometimes. Little did you know Dottore's one and only fear was about you.

Il Dottore considers himself a rational man in every possible subject area. Yes, he does not allow himself to be swayed by anything as irrational as emotion and instead focuses on logic. Whether his final decision is cruel or unethical is not something he cares about. But you... you are the exception. You are the variable he cannot control. And so irrationality is one of the things he despises, swore to himself he'd never be a victim of, but here he was anyway. Succumbing to an irrational mindset is the last thing he thought he'd do.

Often times when Dottore sleeps with you, he doesn't actually sleep. He gets into the bed to appease you, because it brings you comfort, (your words) lays there for a bit until you fall asleep, and resumes his work. He is just far, far too busy to stay. But, nowadays, he finds it even harder than usual to say. Why? Because of his irrational mind, once again. He needs to know that you are alive. Which is a dumb fear really, you're not going to die, you're not going to leave, your body is stable (for now) so there's no need to worry. But he needs to know. He needs confirmation. You know. He really hates that you've done this to him. He hates it. But he can't blame you, only himself, because if he cured you already he would never have to deal with irrationality again.

Dottore is used to the quietness of a human heart, from his experiments of course, clicking his tongue in annoyance from how easily they died and feeling no emotion. But your heart, if your heart stopped... well, his madness would not be transcribed to paper very well, because it would be too hard to describe. But he denies that. And he especially denies it to you. He denies it, so that's why he finds himself counting your heart's beats per minute anyway. But now you know that even the great Il Dottore has a fear and weakness. After all, when it's only the two of you, he is only Zandik, the same man who fell hard for you all those centuries ago. But that's okay. You promised to always be there, even if he doesn't want you to be.

[vavoomed-for-crowley]

Make It Right - Chapter 4: Firework Of Emotions is finally out now!

This Chapter picks up on Aziraphale's and Crowley's conversation on Christmas Evening, shows us a teasing angel and the depth of Crowley's kiss in the final 15 of S2.

Enjoy reading it and feel free to leave any kind of feedback.

Mucho Gracias ❤️

Story Summary:

Not in 6.000 years Aziraphale would've thought his first kiss with Crowley would be like this. Means, if Aziraphale really ever believed in actually kissing the demon at all. But pressing their lips together forcefully, nothing left to say and going back to heaven has all not been on the list of how Aziraphale imagined it would be.

Now, he might be back on Earth and things with Crowley are sorted out. They can finally live their peaceful existence.

But there's one thing that Aziraphale still has to do: He wants to kiss Crowley the right way. He'll make it right, every time.

And as usual, a little Sneak Peek at the chapter:

"Are you trying to tempt me?" Aziraphale asks with a low voice but still tries to act shocked.

The demon lets his hands move from Aziraphale's sides to his back, hands hidden under the long coat, one hand gently stroking every part it touches. "Does it work?"

Heaven, does it work!, Aziraphale thinks. But he knows that if he gives in to temptation now, they'll never leave the bookshop. Which would mean they do not only miss Maggie's party but they'd also disappoint her. Just the imagination of her saddened face when they don't show up is enough for the angel to feel guilty. He cups the demon's face with the right hand, thumb gently stroking his cheek before he leans in to give the demon a loving kiss. "You can be very tempting, my dear love. But we made a promise and I see it as my duty to keep it." He doesn't even wait for a reaction, which is no more than a groan from Crowley, but grabs the demon's hand to pull him outside.

"Way to ruin the moment..." the latter mumbles in disappointment. At least he tried it all to stay at home.

In Crowley's opinion, nothing about New Year's Eve makes sense. Well, except the part of celebrating. He can understand the melancholy when humans look back over the past year and think about all the experiences and events, knowing full well that not all of them, and depending on the person even very few, were really good. The concept of looking forward to the new year is not entirely illogical, including the false hope of change and good things waiting to happen. It is almost foolish for humans to hope that the universe would care about each individual's fate instead of taking their happiness into their own hands. But people's comfort has always been their greatest weakness. All they could achieve if they would just work hard enough and actually believe in themselves. But the part he doesn't get is that if the new year is so eagerly awaited, what's the reason to get drunk? Even if that's exactly Crowley's plan for tonight as well. Just that he feels like he needs it to cope with the party in general. He doesn't get why everyone dresses up as fancy as they usually never do, why woman wear high shoes that feel uncomfortable just two hours later and the worst part is all the traditions. Hell, he hopes that Maggie's party has none of it. Not knowing if he'd survive just one round of lead-pouring or sharing New Year's resolutions.

Needless to say that the demon doesn't get why on earth his angel wants to attend Maggie's party so desperately when just the thought of talking to strangers is a reason the latter never steps a foot in a pub, except the one time which has proven his point why not to do so more than just enough. But the angel hasn't left him a choice really, even if it's only because Crowley can't say no to him. At least heaven blesses him with the adorable sight of Aziraphale dressed in winter clothes, with the choice of blue and beige wool suiting his skin tone and the beanie making his cheeks look even more adorable and soft. It's a perfect mixture of modern old and something newer and in Crowley's opinion, (so the only opinion that really matters), Aziraphale looks more than just handsome, making it to the top of the list of the angel's best outfits. Not that Crowley would ever dare to admit how much he really likes it. It would only mean he'd need to wear his knitted set more often as well and he'd rather have a very long conversation with Gabriel than to do so.

Read the full story here

[dandylovesturtles]

pls talk to me about 100 Feet and a World Away Raph's recovery process, if he relapses sometimes or what it's like for him in general

Sure! This got long so I had to put it behind a read more lol

So keep in mind nothing about this part of the AU is intended to be realistic haha, in reality Raph would need years of multiple kinds of therapies, including behavioral therapy and speech therapy, to get anywhere near what you could consider recovered, but I'm fast tracking this because we want Raph to get his happy ending with everyone else!

Some content warnings here for depersonalization, dissociation, etc

During his captivity Raph has very few and fleeting moments of lucidity - even when he does manage to "surface," once he realizes what's happening and that he's alone he pretty much shuts down again immediately. This doesn't mean Raph is gone, though! He'll later say it was like he was underwater, able to hear and see things but always muffled, smeary, and understanding would slip through his grasp. When Raph sleeps, he often dreams of the things that have happened to him in abstract ways and uses this to process - something that he hates when he's still captive but which becomes invaluable once he's free and trying desperately to get back to his family.

Raph also isn't entirely alone in his head, at least not always! He gets a... visitor from time to time. This visitor does everything they can to help Raph in the time they can spend with him, and is the main reason why Raph hasn't completely lost touch with things like speech by the time he finally manages to regain lucidity.

Raph's recovery process is very, very slow. For the first few weeks he doesn't seem to entirely realize that he's been freed - it's only the smell of his family nearby, or the sounds of their voices, that keep him calm. He still acts very animalistic during that time and basically can't be left alone at all. All of the family is afraid that he may be beyond recovery (though they are still resolved to care for and love him no matter what), and they all have different reactions to this. For Splinter this is another heartbreak on top of a pile, and he has a tendency to overly baby Raph to the point that it feels more like how one would treat a pet at times, though he does constantly remind himself of his son's personhood to combat this instinct. Leo has known Raph is like this for a long time, but he's not dealing with anything well and he doesn't deal with this well, either - he's in mourning even though he refuses to say it. Mikey is openly optimistic that they'll get Raph back, but this also means he tends to get his hopes up about a new thing to try, and then gets disappointed when it doesn't work. Only Donnie seems completely unbothered by the "new Raph," and basically just talks to Raph like he does the others, and seems to enjoy having someone he can ramble to about science without end. Because of this, Raph bonds with Donnie the fastest, and when Raph finally manages to talk again, his first words are to Donnie.

Through his dreams, Raph comes to know that he's safe, and slowly the things around him start to get clearer. He starts to recognize his family members by sight as much as smell, he starts acting less and less animalistic and starts to manage basic tasks, like feeding himself with utensils. He starts talking in brief words and sentences, and his vocabulary builds rapidly with the help of his visitor and the dreams and Donnie talking to him endlessly. He also has brief periods of lucidity throughout this time, but to his frustration he can't quite hang on to them - like his muscles have to rebuild their strength to acknowledge reality.

Once he feels safe enough, Raph will finally manage a period of lucidity that lasts longer than a few minutes to an hour. There also may be some mystic stuff that happens in here to help him finally overcome his last mental blocks.

And then it's like he finally breaks the surface for real this time. He's not underwater anymore. He knows and understands everything around him. At least as well as his brothers do, anyway.

It takes him more time and stability to finally get back to a person who resembles the Raph we have in canon (though never quite the same), but he makes improvements all the time.

He does have relapses occasionally after this point, usually if he's left alone without any warning or if something severely startles him. If he doesn't get enough sleep or if he's sick or overwhelmed he can sometimes slip into more animalistic ways of acting, too. In those cases, the others just have to ground him, by talking to him and reminding him of where he is and what's going on until he feels safe enough to "surface" again. And eventually he learns new coping mechanisms and ways of feeling safe that don't necessitate completely dissociating from reality.

Thanks for the ask!

[toomuchracket]

expectant dad! Matty telling the boys as soon as you get to 12 weeks (and complaining about how that felt like an eternity to keep a secret from his besties)

no because it really is such a long time! 3 months! and matty knows he has to wait until that point, because by then you'll have seen the doctor and had some tests and scans and you'll know everything is fine with baby, but he really struggles not telling them - this is the best thing that's ever happened in his life, and he's desperate to share it with his boys, who he loves so much. and they've obviously noticed something's up with the two of you, what with neither of you drinking and matty smoking less and you excusing yourself when the boys start to have a little smoke, but you and matty have come up with a story about you being on meds for a stomach problem (which explains the not drinking) and that he's trying to be healthier in solidarity with you and the lifestyle changes you're making so you feel better. it's actually quite a good story, because it explains why matty feels the need to touch and rub your stomach all the time - i think adam would see right through it, as a father himself, but he has the good grace not to say anything to george and ross, who actually do believe in you and your performance lol.

and i think as soon as you hit twelve weeks, you tell you and matty's parents/siblings first - you swear them to secrecy, though, until you've told everyone else - and then the boys. i like to think that you all get together at someone's house for dinner every week, so you and matty go along to george and charli's (it's their turn to host) armed with your scan photo in an envelope. everyone's there in the living room when you arrive, and they're all really sweet and asking you how you are, how the meds are going etc. and you look at matty and smile and say "actually, i have a little update on that" and matty's like "oh, now?" and you say "yeah, i think so". and carly's got her and adam's son on her knee, and you hand him the envelope and say "do you want to open that for us, sweetheart?" and everyone's like what, although adam and carly just start beaming because they know what they'll find inside. and the kid takes the envelope and opens the card, with carly's help, and he's like "it's a picture?" and everyone else starts crowding round to see as matty says "do you know what it is?", and the little one shakes his head and matty says "it's your future best friend. they'll be here in 6 months" and the room goes into uproar. the boys all start crying and hugging matty, charli and carly are getting weepy hugging you, and you pick up adam's kid, who is HYPED about the fact he'll have a new friend to play with soon, to give him a cuddle and thank him for opening the card. carly takes him as the boys start to hug you - fully think george picks you up and spins you around excitedly before charli goes "babe, watch the baby!" and then he's like "oh my god sorry" to you and then he leans down and says it to the bump too, which sets him off in floods because oh my god matty's kid is just... in there? and ross is also kinda in disbelief about the fact you're pregnant with matty's kid, but in a typically piss-take way, gesturing to your stomach like "i can't believe there's another healy in there. god help us all" - he laughs after he says it, though, pulling you into a big hug and congratulating you with a "but seriously, though, i hope this baby is just a carbon copy of you", to which matty's like "me too mate" lol. but yeah, there's just so much love and support from everyone in the room and it's lovely <3

[vampiromano]

okay uhhhh all my thoughts are scrambled so this is just kind of midnless yapping. about. stuff

1. okay so the king is. yeah idk why I trusted him when I should've logically understood that the guy has absolutely no idea about the previous convos we had. it does make me wonder whether I could've changed his mind by asking EVERYTHING and gifting him th flower all over again but. I doubt it. why would he change if this is all he has y'know. and if his literal god sorta told him he was doing what he had to.i dunno he's very interesting and I'm actually looking forward to the next fight

2. also looking forward to my next chat with loop. gotta wonder what they'll have to say about the guy who was so desperate to be understood thry Wished to get another self to talk to. I'm not sure it's gonna be the chat that gets me to The Reveal Of Loop's Identity as Siffrin2 or whatever BUT it's certainly heading that way if it isn't.

or maybe not! they're fun like that.

3. colours!!!!!!!!! nothing more to add just Colours.

ACTUALLY definitely something to add. did the same thing that happen to colours happen to the island????? is that it???????? will it be explained????? i really doubt it'll be explained. alas.

4. How Does Loop Feel About Their Home Country No Longer Existing. do they feel like Siffrin? or are they avoiding it the way Siffrin was for a while? are they detached bc now it's technically not theirs (assuming they're Alternate Siffrin and not Future Siffrin, bc I don't think Future Siffrin would make that much sense? okay maybe. some sense but. idkkkkk)? LOOP I NEED TO LOOK INSIDE YOUR BRAIN

5. Isabeau is soooo perceptive I luv him. my aversion to the crush has gotten slightly better the more Siffrin is reciprocating it and the less I'm thinking of Siffrin as Guy I'm Playing As (the more I think of them as A Character and not An Avatar, is what I mean). so I'm growing to appreciate him a lot more he's my fave guy. truly so cool. I get him. if nobody got me I know my man isabeau got me. he's my best friwnd.

6. fuck okay where was i. anyway everyone's reacting differently the more time passes and I think it's bc Siffrin is having such an astronomically bad fucking time it's transcending time. i feel like if I were in a room with them I'd just DIE I'd just say fuck this stupid baka life and drop to the ground and never move again from how rancid their vibes are. Siffrin is having the worst time anyone's ever had and I feel so sorry for him I hope I can at the very least lead him well enough he'll TALK to ANYONE(other than loop) about ANYTHING or else.

(I feel like talking to Loop is not very helpful bc Loop is just THEM but WORSE. like they already had their worst life. I don't think much good can come from talking to the version of yourself that DEFINITELY had it bad as well and seemingly BECAME A FUCKING STAR about it. idk. I'm rambling. I need to know more about Loop I need to help them also. I hope they get a happy ending with my Bones.)

7. Odile my best friend Odile is ALSO being very perceptive but she's kinda scary about it. either way I hope god do I HOPE she'll be the first to figure the loops out. or SOMETHING. bc I need Siffrin to talk to her about them I need to know what she THINKS.

8. irks me that nobody ever mentions that Siffrin poses for the picture!!! they're literally smiling!!!! every time!!!!! anyone say anything please!!!!!

9. Siffrin cut himself on glass. I was surprised! not sure it's quite self harm yet bc it didn't seem intentional BUT I have a feeling we're heading down that route!!! which is interesting!!!!!! they're certainly very self loathing and quite safe of Proper Death. idk. need to keep playing I guess.

10. Messi❤️

11. anyway yeah that's it I've got a lot of thoughts I hope someone found them mildly amusing at least!!!!

[danpuff-ao3]

6, 22, and 27 for Snarry😌

Hayley!! Thanks for the excuse to talk about my boys some more! 🥰

6. Who would they ask if they ever had a threesome?

Oh golly! What a fun one. These 2 possessive, jealous bastards having a threesome? I've written Harry/Draco/Severus before. And Harry/Severus/Draco/Kingsley. And I'm in the middle of writing a Harry/Scorpius/Severus fic that will hopefully see the light of day sometime soon!

Harry always has to be the one to ask, I think. For the sake of curiosity more than lust itself. In my mind, Severus is his one and only. In some worlds, maybe he wants to explore a bit. With Severus, always.

If it's early says, Harry will bring a Weasley into consideration. Charlie, or Bill. Someone he knows and trusts, but who wouldn't be a threat. Severus will refuse, because they see the Weasleys all the time, and he couldn't quite stand it.

Severus, in his need to hurt himself and Harry both, will mention a Malfoy. Lucius, his old lover. Or Draco, Harry's old nemesis. Attractive, haughty, Slytherin blondes. Either Harry gets mad and the plan goes up in flames, or...

Or: Harry meets the challenge. Bitter about it, sure, but why not? If Severus wants to keep the competition away, Harry wants to meet it head on.

It will...not go well. Oh sure, they'll have fun and get their rocks off and be angry with each other for a while. It was always a bad idea. But it doesn't break them apart. They're too stubborn for that.

In later years, there's more hope, I think. It won't be an itch under Harry's skin, or youthful curiosity. He'll be older, wiser. Here it's the third party at fault, which is Scorpius comes in. He's always had a crush on Harry and when he's a bit older, and a bit more tempting, Harry is...well. Tempted. And fascinated.

And here, Severus is a bit more likely to give in. He feels more sure in their relationship, and more sure of Harry's love, even if he doesn't particularly like it. And his own comfort makes him less likely to lash out, and more likely to want to give Harry what he wants. But he has to be in control of it, of course. Directing the whole thing.

And if the world is a very fun place, maybe they have a turn with 3 generations of Malfoys in their bed. 😂

In most worlds, they never get there. They're too wrapped up in one another. But anything can happen. And in those worlds where it is a possibility, I think they'll always make the worst choices. It is never casual and without fallout. They're too much as individuals, and much too much as a couple.

And those damnable Malfoys are always their best and worst bets.

22. Where does their first kiss happen?

Anywhere and everywhere! Usually at Hogwarts, though. In the heat of the moment. In the middle of a fight, or fresh out of danger. Anger or fear. Or the moment they realize their lust, or their love, when it's too new and surprising to stop it.

In Orange Blossoms their first kiss was at their wedding, which I'm very fond of. So romantic! It's the least likely of options, but one I'm quite fond of.

Also, envision this: they're both aware of their feelings, but don't act on it until it's too late. Think of The Flight of the Prince in Book 6. That first, desperate kiss just before Severus has to leave. That's my favorite idea of it. This charged moment, in the middle of danger, in fear and rage, in desperation. All the hope and longing of their hearts seemingly dashed. The war holding them apart. One kiss, because it might be their only one.

I've always wanted to write it, but I need a bigger story to make it work!

They're always driven to it, though. It's rarely sweet and romantic. It's always a terrible seal to their fate. The breaking point where they both surrender to something they shouldn't want.

27. Why do their friends get annoyed with them?

Haha, why don't they?

I see their friends judging their relationship hardcore. Like...who wouldn't, honestly? And their friends don't like each other. When the relationship gets serious, they put up with it. Harry joins Severus for fancy dinners at Malfoy Manor; Severus joins Harry for rowdy lunches at the Burrow. What do you even see in him? everyone wonders. Their friends are all annoyed by the relationship itself, and having to put up with their friend's partner.

Then, as time goes on, everyone gets over it. At that point, between the constant bickering and insults, and the gross way they make eyes at each other over dinner, makes everyone want to pull their hair out. Look, they're practically eye-fucking! There are children present!

ship headcanon meme

Snarry: 1, 12, 28; 3, 23; 4, 8, 9; 11, 17; 6, 22, 27

Drarius: 1, 13

Filch: 2 & 30

[sattlersquarry]

Gonna send you another thing I hope you don't mind.

🍹What I want to see in s5 is Steve having an actual arc that isn't solely about his love life. I want him and Dustin to have deep conversations and finally give us a hug. I want Steve and Lucas to bond because they are fundamentally the same person, especially because we got robbed in s4. Kinda wish we get a conversation about popularity and their love for basketball, but realistically that won't happen. Still bitter it wasn't in s4 tho. And I want Steve to show emotions about Max, I need to know what's in his letter. In general I need to see him break down and finally acknowledge the trauma he went through since '83.

What I think we get tho is him still running after Nancy and how they set up s5 he will spend some time proving to Jonathan that he's a changed person because the Duffers can't let him move on and have to remind him he was the worst in high school. I think we'll get a good fight scene, but I don't think he'll die. Finn said every character gets the ending they deserve, and while I don't have high hopes for a meaningful Steve storyline, they will give one to Dustin. And Dustin wouldn't have a happy ending without his brother. There will be a scene where he'll do everything to keep Steve safe so he won't have to repeat the Eddie situation. The Duffers confirmed Dustin will be grieving Eddie, to take away Steve would be too cruel.

As for the general ending I have zero clues other than almost no main character (not sure about El and Jonathan) will die because Stranger Things was never a show where it ends in a massive massacre. I do think the show will be set in an apocalyptic setting and that the monsters from the UD will get to the real world. Kinda wish Nancy's vision comes true because idk why it was included otherwise. But yeah idk about the general ending bc I mostly care about Steve and his closest friends. I do wish he leaves the show with Robin and Dustin, everything else would be unacceptable lol. And lastly the Kas theory is complete bullshit and I hope Eddie stays dead.

I don't mind at all! Send as much as you want!

OOH my thoughts on all this below the cut!!!

I agree that I want Steve to have more of an arc. I'd love if he did find someone special though, but I don't want that to be all he does. He and Dustin definitely need to have a real heart-to-heart, especially now that Dustin's lost Eddie.

Steve and Lucas have so much in common! I think they could be as close as Steve and Dustin honestly. We deserved to see them bond more for sure, and I hope ST5 rectifies that.

WHAT IS IN STEVE'S LETTER?!!?! I want each letter read, but I especially want to know what Max put in his. I feel like we should've seen more of them bonding as well. One thing that really bugged me about Season 4 was Steve complaining about staying behind with the kids while Nancy and Robin went to the asylum. I feel like that's out of character compared to the Season 2 Steve that went so far to protect the kids. However, one could argue that Steve was so adamant to go to the asylum because he's so desperate to get answers for Max, which feels more in character.

The Duffers absolutely are going to try and force Stancy and I'm not happy about it :( Steve has changed sooo much and if Jonathan doesn't realize that at this point, he never will lol.

I also don't think Steve will die. I feel like the Duffers like his character so much. I think they'll tease his death, like how they did at the end of Season 4 Ep 6, but I don't think it'll actually happen. I agree that Dustin's happy ending includes Steve being safe.

I really really hope that no one dies, but that's probably wishful thinking 😅 My theory is that they'll kill off primarily side characters. For example, I think if Murray is in the season, he's going to be killed. I also could see them killing Karen Wheeler or something, if only to motivate Mike and Nancy in the final fight with Vecna.

I'll be furious if El dies—she deserves the happiest of happy endings! Jonathan dying would be so sad but he's been sidelined so much. I hope he gets a real proper storyline in Season 5.

I'm so down to see an apocalypse. I want Hawkins in shambles, as fucked up as that might be lol. I totally could see Nancy's visions coming true, with the monsters killing soldiers and flooding the town. Maybe that'll be the big final battle.

OOOOH I'm actually not even sure how I feel about the Kas theory. On one hand, the Duffers love to reference D&D creatures, so it makes sense to me. However, they follow the rule that if someone dies on screen, they're dead for real. (That's how they could bring Brenner back, because he only ever got attacked off screen.) I guess Eddie coming back as Kas would still follow that formula, because the theory hinges on Eddie dying completely and being resurrected, but I just don't know if the Duffers will go that far, you know? Also the cast is already insanely big, so they might keep him dead.

One thing I think about a lot is how is it even worth it to bring Eddie back? Like, if he comes back as Kas, what sort of happy ending could he even get? Or would they bring him back to just die again? That would suck, so I absolutely hope they don't do that.

[wispisstillverybored67]

Some Hantengu headcanons because honestly why the hell not.

The main body is usually between the pathetic old man with the lump or Hatred/Zohakuten. Mostly the former.

If one of his emotions split off, as long as he's not fighting, he can still feel said emotion.

Karaku is usually buried to the depths of his consciousness so he doesn't say any stupid shit in front of Muzan during a meeting.

He's friends with Gyokko. They knew each other when they were humans, too.

All of his copies are highly protective of the main body, and they'll do everything in their power to keep him safe and (relatively) happy.

Aizetsu is often given control of his body.

The tumor on his head was from Muichiro drop-kicking him during an earlier skirmish.

Sekido is the one with the most fighting experience, it was kind of obvious.

The only thing the copies have in common with Hantengu himself is their crippling paranoia and persecution complex.

Urogi is the least liked of all the copies. It's probably because of his overwhelming, hedonistic sense of joy.

His life was pretty similar to Mitsuo (Persona 4). So desperate for attention, or just to prove that he exists, he stole from and killed god knows how much people.

He used to be a priest to Raijin sometime when he was 15. Said god is the only god he follows which I will sum up in this quote I made up on the spot

"What kind of let's their people live a life ignored in the scent of thunder and wood...?"

Him worshipping Raijin exclusively spawned from one of his nights on the run. Before the guy (whom he probably mugged) would find him hiding in some poor bastard's house, lightning struck him, killing him quickly.

If he's particularly stressed out, the others would just burst out of his body, quickly attempt to neutralize the stressor, and fix the problem.

Key word being attempt.

The copies themselves are very dysfunctional. Apart from the "Akaza breaking Douma's nose" jar, the 12 have a "Hantengu fighting himself" jar. It's also very loaded.

Most of the time during meetings (called by Muzan or not) he'll just chug period blood (which I hc to have an alcoholic affect on Demons) until he blacks out so when he finally wakes up everyone will have left so he can go home.

While Urogi's quote (on how it's been so long since he's split apart) is right, it's only right in the context that while he took over the body a few times before, he specifically hasn't split off from him.

The old man's body regenerates indefinitely. The boys have a finite amount of times they can be reborn at the moment before next week.

Remember when I implied that Urogi was the hedonist? Yeah, fuck that, it's Karaku.

None of the boys are well-liked, legally. Most of the 12 are mixed on him.

Actually, the boys all share anxiety as well. They're just way better at hiding it (you know, minus Aizetsu.). Think of them as that quote from South Park. This.

Sekido has a mild habit of grinding his teeth when annoyed... which is all the time.

Zohakuten is considered the baby of the group, which annoys him to no end, but he doesn't do anything about it.

Splitting into the boys hurts like hell for Hantengu (which is why it primarily happens once you behead him). There's also the fact that they're all very hyperactive, and will attempt to get out usually, and when he get's more uneasy, they have an easier time getting out. It's a vicious cycle, really.

Even though he KNOWS that dull moments benefit them all, Sekido hates slow times, ironically enough, so if it's a "calm" day, he'll come out on his own to go do something.

If Aizetsu were the one to absorb/cannibalize everyone into himself, they would all become "Despair".

If it were Karaku, they'd become "Lust".

For Urogi, it'd be "Hope" (you know, like Nagito...)

But if Hantengu HIMSELF pulled that shit off? They'd become... I don't know... "Panic"? "Anxiety"? Hmm...

[sparxymcflymovedblog]

Home stretch everybody! The first time we see George feeling an unabashed Positive Emotion and also just a really cute panel in general. I think I maybe haven't mentioned how much I love how hands are drawn in this style too, which is likely a weird thing to say but like it's just Such an appealing art style.

AH okay very. Very legitimately forgot this was coming next when I decided to say that Marty honey I'm so sorry. As much as this scene makes me sob it is legitimately interesting to note what little can be gleaned from trying to translate the text around this. His hearing starts to go, he can't breathe, he can't stand- it's altogether about as unpleasant and painful as you'd think. It's also really something because I'm pretty sure he APOLOGIZES to the musician asking him what's wrong. "Sorry, I can't play" Marty honey please.

BUT IT'S OKAY HE'S FINE AND LOOK AT THE LITTLE GUY. He's having such a great time. Legitimately don't know what emotion I'm expected to be feeling while he's jamming out after Johnny B. Goode but if it isn't sheer joy and pride and yelling "THAT'S MY BOY LOOK AT HIM GO" then what's the point. Buncha buzzkills in the crowd smh. He's high on life and having one of the best times of his life with a CROWD that's CHEERING for him! Let him have his fun!

THE HUG..... THE HUG..... interestingly ONLY shows Doc's half of the hug, but the rough translation of this section, of Marty's thoughts, are heartbreaking as expected. "Please, read that letter and survive. And again, show me exciting inventions." I'm sobbing in the Wendy's drive through.

DOC DRAWN SO DRAMATICALLY. Look this is such a dramatic scene but there's so few of Doc's like legitimately goofy faces and mannerisms drawn and I can't stop laughing at the idea that this may be the first idea of Doc a kid in Japan might get. YES this scene is actually really dramatic and yes it stressed me out SO bad on the big screen but please I'm cackling.

OKAY NO BUT THIS. THIS. This captures the energy so well, so intensely, god I can Feel it. The art is wonderful. I'll say it a thousand times til you hear me in your sleep.

THIS. THIS. THIS. THE MOST IMPORTANT PICTURE IN THE BOOK. THE MOST MOST IMPORTANT. Marty smiling and crying and holding the letter and he's just Feeling So Much but Doc is alive and Doc's smile and. God. Please. I love them I love this movie this is so good.

Things Keep Happening To Local Boy Even When He Thought He Had Seen All The Things. The power in feeling Marty's panic even without seeing his face is so good. Also Dave and Linda look really cute here too it's great.

Destroy. Destroy. End on sight. Dearly Detested has been kneecapped but Not Enough.

God I just love them all. Doc voice this is serious business why are you not taking me seriously, do Not stare at the banana peel that's not the focus. Marty looking adorable even as he's positively flummoxed. Jennifer, who while the boys are talking is just so desperately like "Mr. Fusion. Are we not going to talk about it being called Mr. Fusion. Are we not going to talk about this whole magic zappy car at all. Is that what we're doing right now." I love her.

ANYWAYS THAT'S ALL THE ART..... I hope the bttf people have enjoyed my contribution because it's really only going to get more rambly and less concrete from here on out. I had to start strong. Also this was really Incredibly stream of consciousness but my actual real brainworms.... heh. Well, actually they'll probably be more stream of consciousness but hey I'm here to vibe. Everyone should Always look at manga Marty McFly he's adorable, I'm enabling all of you to join me <3

[shigarakislittlepet]

im so happy to find a blog with good nsfw content for literally all my faves lol we share the same braincell it seems! how about fluffy nsfw headcanons for Dabi, Shigi, Aizawa and Shinsou and well, Baku but I don't want to overwhelm you even if you don't have a character limit hhh, with a s/o that was completely inexperienced in sex before they got together? They grew more comfortable with the idea of sex over time as they used to be really shy about it but they're scared they'll mess up and disappoint their loves? If possible could you mention what kind of approach each boy would have for the first time with their virgin s/o? I'm just feeling some fluffy dick tonite ya know lol stay safe out there <3

Ohhhh my gosh, this whole thing gave me brain rot lmao, thank you for giving me this power <3<3<3

This also took me literal months to finish because life got crazy, so I’m sorry about that. Hope you enjoy it anyway!

TW: loss of virginity, gentelness, fluffy smut, unprotected sex bc I’m a whore (Y/N is on birth control), and as always all characters are adults especially Y/N

-Dabi-

> You are surprised by how patient he is with you. You were sure he’d have gotten tired of waiting, but he didn’t push. He didn’t make you feel badly about it, and the last thing he would ever want to do to sweet little innocent angel is coerce them into something they weren’t ready for. So, he waits.

> It happened so gradually. Over time, light kissing became making out. After a few months, you got more comfortable and it didn’t feel at all odd to fall into bed with him, cuddling and “swapping spit” as he called it, which always made you giggle like a schoolgirl at his crudeness. His hands would test the waters, but he was always feeling for nervous tremors and flinching, never wanting to go further than you were comfortable. At first, he only rested a hand on you lower back, drawing lazy circles into your waist, his other cradling your face gently, reassuringly. Eventually he could get his hand beneath your shirt, still just at your lower back, but he was content with his progress. Your skin was soft and you said he felt warm, and that was the first time he ever thought of his quirk as “sweet, comforting”, as you described the warmth from his hands.

> After a few months went by, he had progressed to the point of being able to freely roam your body with his hands, the warmth helping you stay calm and anchored to him.

> What continued to surprise you is how easy it felt, once you were ready. You didn’t even see it coming. He asked you, so gently, if he could take your shirt off. You told him he could as long as he promised to keep you warm. He went along slowly, constantly reassuring you, “God Angel, you’re so beautiful. I gotta see more of you, can I? Please?”, “You’re so soft, I need to feel more of your skin, angel, please?” You didn’t even hesitate, you didn’t need to. You felt safer with him than you ever had in your life.

> You realized, once you were both naked together, just how comfortable you were with him. And suddenly you felt like you needed to give him everything he ever wanted, and you knew he would do the same for you.

> It happens so slowly, or at least, it feels like it does. His hand slowly grazes down between your bodies until he reaches your core. You gasp, no one but you had ever touched you there, and it feels so foreign and wonderful. And warm. Once you begin bucking onto his fingers, an insatiable grin stretches across his face. He retracts his fingers, bringing them to his lips, and you watch as he sucks them clean. He calls you delicious and rolls on top of you, asks you if you’re ready for him. For the first time, you look down between your bodies and see just how huge and hard he is for you. When he sees your concern he kisses your forehead, then your lips. “I won’t hurt you Angel, I promise.” You nod and smile, and he starts easing into you, stopping every so often when he can tell the stretch is too much. He kisses your cheeks, your shoulders, your lips, whatever he can get his mouth on as he pants and mumbles little praises. “I love you”, “You’re doin’ so well”, “You’re takin’ me sooo well”, “God, you’re so beautiful, you know how beautiful you are Angel?”, “Ahh, you’re so fuckin’ tight and wet for me Angel, you want me that badly?”. The praises and teases help you considerably to keep you relaxed, and fuck, you DO want him. So fucking badly, you need him. When he’s finally seated inside you fully, he waits, clearly using every last bit of his restraint and self control to give you time to adjust. When you finally whine and buck your hips up on him, he loses it. “I hope you’re fuckin’ ready, Angel.”

>You find rather quickly that Dabi’s style is a beautiful mix of “fucking” and “making love”. He fucks you, hard and deep, so much so that it makes you see stars, but while he does it he’s caging you in-between his arms, holding you close while he pistons in and out of you. He looks you in the eyes, watching your reactions, quickly finding what angle makes you convulse and let out those beautiful moans and coos that he’s now desperate to hear.

>When he nears his end, he reaches down between you again to rub sweet circles against your clit, because no way is Dabi cumming first. It’s just not his style.

-Shigaraki-

>BRAIN ROT

> Shigaraki is definitely happy that you’re inexperienced, he’d kill anyone who had ever laid a hand on you before him. You belonged to him.

> It also means that you’re a virgin, which really gets him going because hes a pervert. ((He’s also secretly glad that he’s not the only virgin))

> He is touch starvvveeeeddddddd. We all know this. But at first, he’s so hesitant to touch you, for fear of destroying you.

> You are patient with each other, and together you find out what works and what doesn’t. He got some artist gloves so he could hold your fucking hand without hyperventilating about dusting you. He’s still afraid of you disappearing beneath his fingertips.

> You were never, not even for a second, worried that he would hurt you. You knew that he could, that he had the ability, but you knew that he wouldn’t.

> He wasn’t so sure, he was afraid of rolling over in the night and finding a pile of dust where you used to be. He wakes up from nightmares about it and has to wake you up to hold you while he shakes uncontrollably. He just has to know you’re alive.

> You both get more and more comfortable with physical proximity and contact together, because you both wanted it, you were both just so worried about fucking everything up.

> When the time came where both of you decided you were ready to have sex, you admitted to him that you were afraid of not measuring up to his expectations. All these “what if’s” kept popping up in your mind: “what if he doesn’t find my body attractive enough”, “what if I don’t know how to move right”, “what if I cant please him”, etc. etc. etc.

> He just looks at you kind of taken aback and confused. He was worried about you not being able to see him as sexually attractive because of how he looked, he was just as self-conscious as you. “Darling, you’re the most perfect person in existence, how can you not see that? Look at me! I’m... I... Look like this! How could I ever hope that someone as beautiful as you could ever see me that way?”

>You didn’t immediately know how to respond. You were... heartbroken that he saw himself that way. You couldn’t image him being self-conscious about anything because in your eyes, he was a god. He was perfect and angelic and you told him as much. You looked at him with such adorably big eyes and your voice was full of so much honesty and adoration, he had to have you immediately. He’d never felt desired, he had never felt lovable. He always thought it would be a miracle if anyone would ever be able to even stomach looking at him without cringing away in disgust. But you were so perfect and you loved him so immediately and so much that it knocked him out. He launches himself at you and just kisses you for a while.

> You both fumbled around a bit at first, trying to find what felt best. You both quickly came to the conclusion that you were going to have to practice together. A lot. As much as possible actually, because even in your inexperience, you both felt more amazing than you ever had in your lives. When you were connected like this, panting, kissing, licking, trying your damndest to become one being, it felt like bliss. You never wanted it to stop.

-Aizawa-

> MORE FUCKING BRAIN ROT

> Aizawa has an innocence kink. There I fucking said it.

> When it comes to the person he’s with, he’s a shameless flirt, and while he would NEVER cross a line or pressure you, he definitely does his best to get you in the mood whenever he can, much to your naïve frustration.

> At first you genuinely don’t even realize he’s doing it on purpose. The heated looks he gave you that made your knees weak? You didn’t think he was doing that on purpose, it’s just because he’s... tired? And he always looks so gorgeous, so that’s why. He ALWAYS makes your knees weak. Yeah that’s all it is, obviously.

> And when he comes up behind you, hands on your hips gently, and lowly rumbling in your ear. Sometimes it’s just comments about whatever you’re doing, which was bad enough. But sometimes it was mumbled compliments. About your outfit, how good it made your ass look. About how soft your hair was, how good you smelled, the softness of your skin while he gently rubbed his stubble against your neck.

>YOU COULDN’T FUCKING HANDLE IT.

> He was so soft most of the time, cuddling you while watching movies, cooking together, dancing in the kitchen with you at 3 in the morning after he finished grading papers. The shift that happened when he would get flirtatious was dizzying.

> You were nervous though, Aizawa was a bit older than you, and obviously way more experienced that you. One night while you were curled up in bed together, you told him you were nervous about disappointing him when the time finally came. He sat up and turned a light on immediately and pulled you into his lap. He held you and stroked your hair and told you how much you meant to him, how you could never disappoint him, how much he wanted you, and how he was willing to wait however long you needed. He held you until he was sure you felt better about it, and then he held you until he was sure you were asleep. You were the most important person in the world to him, and he wasn’t gonna let you think anything was ever gonna change that.

> When you finally got tired of his teasing and felt like you were ready, you decided to get him back. Before he got home, you put on one of his long shirts as a dress and started getting dinner ready.

> When he walked through the door and saw that you were wearing nothing but one of his black button ups, he had to maintain every ounce of his self control to contain the rush of feral need that suddenly consumed him. Now it was HIS turn to assume you were being innocent. And man did you play it up. “What’s wrong Shota? Are you feeling okay?” And you bat your big beautiful eyes at him. He was going to have a stroke.

> It wasn’t until you bent over and he noticed you weren’t wearing anything under his shirt that he realized it was an invitation. He came up behind you, caging you in against the counter, and growled lowly in your ear, “Do you have any idea what you’re doing to me?” He gently pushed his growing erection against your ass, making you gasp. Score.

> “W-what do you mean?” you looked up at him as innocently as you could. He took your hand and pressed it to the front of his pants. He groaned low in his chest, thankful for any friction. “Don’t play dumb with me, kitten. You know exactly what you’re doing. I think you should take responsibility.” You grinned.

> “Yes Sir,” he jolts at that, and you sink your knees and get to work undoing the fastenings on his hero costume. When his cock springs free, you eagerly give it kitten licks until he’s had enough. He grips you by your hair and gently guides your mouth down onto his cock. He’s big, bigger than you can take, but that doesn’t stop Aizawa from purposefully making you gag on him every so often. He really does get off on how innocent you are, the tears that hang in your eyes from gagging on his cock. He’s gonna cum soon if he’s not careful.

> After he’s had his fun making you suck him off, he pulls you up and carries you off to bed. No way he’s taking your virginity on the floor, he’s too much of a gentleman. And dinner, what dinner? Thank god nothing happened to be on the stove or in the oven.

> He sets you down in bed and kisses you, takes his shirt off of you and finishes ridding himself of his hero costume. He takes pride in getting you ready for him, relishing in your sweet noises and how wet you are for him. A fact that he teases you about. “S-Shotaaa~” you moan and clench down on his fingers. He smirks, “What happened to ‘Sir’, hmm? I liked that, you know...” All you can do is whine up at him in response.

> When you feel like you’re close to cumming, you whine louder and clench down harder and before you can reach your peak, he stops. You whine in frustration before he leans down and rumbles, “Oh no, kitten, the only way you’re cumming is if you cum on my cock.” You gasp and nearly convulse at his filthy words, but you’ve never felt like you needed him more.

> He fucks you gently, at first anyway. For as long as he can. He rolls his hips into you and angles his thrusts expertly, aiming for that spot inside you that’ll make your head spin. And he hits it. Every time. And your head DOES spin. And soon you can feel the pressure build again and you start whining again, “Sh-Shouta, please! I’m s-oh! So close!” He smiles, and decides to take pity on you. He pistons harder, faster, brings a hand to your core to rub circles against your clit and when you cum, you scream his name and he can’t take it anymore. He slams into you, chasing his own high and simultaneously extends yours. You’re seeing stars by the time he cums deep into you. He rolls over, bringing you with him. You lie on top of him and he strokes your hair, and you just hold each other for a while.

-Shinso-

> I wanna say this now, Shinso is Aizawa Jr. I’m so sorry, but its true. They’re both tired, overworked, cat lovers that just wanna come home and cuddle and pass out.

> He knows he’s your first boyfriend. You met at UA and pretty much bonded immediately. Now that you’re both pro-heros working for the same agency? It was only a matter of time before he made a move. And thank whatever higher power exists that you have the same schedule. More time for cuddles.

> HOWEVER! Don’t let the fact that he’s a cuddle-bug fool you. He frequently has to remember that you’re a virgin and you’ve never been in a relationship before, so you have no idea how much he’s affected by you answering your door on a Saturday morning you both had off wearing one of his hoodies that absolutely swallows you. Looking up at him smiling and yawning sleepily, rubbing one of your eyes and groggily asking, “What are you doing here so early? I thought we weren’t going out till tonight?”. He has to breathe deeply to stop himself from jumping you.

> Because much like Aizawa, seeing you so sleepy and soft and small and knowing how innocent and naive you are to all of the things you do that make him need you... is going to make him lose his mind. Quickly.

> Instead of an innocence kink though, this motherfucker has a corruption and a mind break kink. He wants to make it impossible for you to feel pleasure without him, he wants to make you need him desperately, forever. And he wants to do it without the help of his quirk. But that would all come in time, at the moment he has to stop himself from cumming in his pants because you’re bending over on your way to your room so you can change, stooping to pet your cat and his hoodie rode up your ass and he can see your lacy black panties and you were GOING to drive him insane long before he ever got the chance to make you his, he was sure.

> He had brought you coffee and suggested you just stay in all day since you both had such a late night. Watching movies and stuff. You know, normal stuff. He told himself he wasn’t going to try and make a move. Right? Right.

> But when you emerged from your room 45 minutes later, showered and changed, your hair still damp and a droplet of water drifting down your neck and landing in the dip of your collar bones, all he could think of was licking it up. How good your hair must smell, how your skin was still probably warm form the water... He was staring, and you pretended not to notice.

> You were nervous about not measuring up to his expectations. You’d seen the women he usually went out with, and how comfortable they were with their bodies and their sexuality. How beautiful they were. As far as you were concerned, you were nothing like them.

> He could see the gears turning in your head and the downturn of your mouth, and he asked you what was wrong. He motioned for you to come sit with him, and it wasn’t five seconds before he pulled you into his lap. After some coaxing, you let him know what you were worried about. He assured you that the reason he was so happy with you is because you weren’t anything like the women he had dated before. Because, not only were you far more beautiful than they were, they had also been conceited and cold, only dating him because he was an up and coming pro-hero that could get them into events so they could dump him for the first bigger hero they’d meet. He liked that you were soft and warm and he could trust you, that you had always trusted him, even despite his quirk.

> You talked for awhile, and as the morning sun drifted higher into the sky, you decided it was time to door dash some food. While he ordered it, you excused yourself the restroom. You needed to think. The heaviness of the conversation still weighed on you, and you’d never felt closer to him than you did now. It was time, you were sure. You wanted to give him everything he’d been waiting so patiently for, he deserved it. And so did you damnit, no more of this scaredy-cat bullshit! You gave yourself your best war face in the mirror before you exited the bathroom and going back to the living room where Shinsou was reclined on your couch. Head tilted back, resting on the pillow behind him.

> He was so beautiful. Lavender hair a wild mess, eyes closed and lashes fluttering softly. You wanted to kiss his neck suddenly, and unlike when urges like this usually happened, you didn’t shove the thought away. You quickly straddled him and, before he had the chance to question you, you began kissing up and down his neck softly. “K-kitty...” he groaned beneath you, gripping your waist, his hips jerking up against yours.

> After a while of your explorative kissing, he growled impatiently and flipped you over easily, pressing you into the couch. He kissed you like he might die if he didn’t, deep and slow and desperate. When he finally broke for air and looked at you, he felt his heart and his dick jump. Your flushed face and your eyes that were looking up at him through your eyelashes heavily, your mouth hanging open gasping and your kiss bitten lips, your brows softly cinched at the effort it took for you to remember you needed to breathe.

> He asks you if you’re sure you were ready, and when you nod dazedly up at him he doesn’t need any more convincing.

> He takes his time, he’s slow and methodical. He wants your first time to be an enjoyable experience. Something you can look back on fondly and remember how much he loved you, how good it felt, how comfortable you were. He wanted it to be better than his first time, drunk after a hero convention, with some woman who didn’t remember his name in the morning and never called him back. He pushed the thought away. He focused on you, on how perfect you were.

> When he finally thrusts into you, you think you want to feel like this forever. You tell him so, and beams with pride, pushing your pleasure further. Kissing your neck and praising you. Telling you how perfect you are, telling you all the things you do that drive him crazy, telling you that he’s never going to let you go, that you’re his forever and he’s yours.

> You cum together, and you think that everything in the world must have always been this beautiful. You spend the rest of the day cuddling, eating, and making love.

-Bakugo-

> No thoughts in this mans head. None. At least when it comes to romance. When you first start dating, you had to make the first move cause his oblivious ass just thought you were challenging him. You had to explain to him that what you were actually doing was called “flirting”.

> So when it comes to your first time, you know you’re gonna have to make the first move there too. He fears rejection, so he avoids the things he really wants the most. Which in this case is you whining on his dick.

> But he also knows you’re a virgin and he doesn’t wanna scare you, so he leaves it be. Trusting his fist to get the job done when he really needs to let off some steam. Either by punching shit or jerking off.

> One day, you do catch him jerking off, and you immediately start to (stupidly) think that you’re not enough for him, that he might leave you for someone who can give him what he needs. You don’t think he notices you having a mini panic attack in the hallway so you sneak back to the kitchen to catch your breath and think. Why HAD you waited this long? What were you waiting FOR? You guessed you had just been worried about not knowing what to do, about him getting impatient and annoyed with you for your lack of experience.

> Making your final decision, you square your shoulders and march yourself back to your shared room. You confidently open the door to find him ... waiting for you?

> “Tch, took you long enough. You done freakin’ out now?” He grumbles from his spot on the bed. You nod meekly and he opens his arms for you, an invitation you gratefully accept. He pets your head and continues grumbling, “ just as bad as shitty-hair, nobody ever knocks anymore. You shouldn’t be surprised when you just try to walk in like that...”

> He keeps petting your head until eventually you hit him with it. “‘Tsuki, I wanna... uhm...” you look up at him with pleading eyes hoping his quirk somehow suddenly allows him to read your mind.

> It doesn’t. “ You wanna what? C’mon, spit it out.” No thoughts, remember?

> You huff and blush and finally squeak out, “Wanna make you feel good, ‘Tsuki...”

> His brain stops working momentarily. When he catches back up, he smirks. “Seriously? It just took you gettin’ jealous over my left hand for you to be ready?”, he teased. You stick out your tongue and he grabs your jaw, looks you dead in the eyes when he says, “I have something much more important for that cute little mouth to do.”

> Your eyes go wide at his suggestion, even though it really doesn’t surprise you. When Katsuki wants something he wants to go all out, no half-assing it. You nod nervously and he laughs at your apprehension, allowing you to shift down his body until you were face to face with his fly. You undid the button and zipper with shaky hands, and gently guide his dick out of his jeans.

> Beautiful is the first word to come to your mind. Beautiful and massive, just like the rest of him. He was easily over six feet tall, and built too so it really shouldn’t have surprised you, but it did. For a moment all you can do is look up at him from your place below him, your big strong hero. You melt a little and you notice him smirking down at you again, “What ‘ya lookin’ at, princess?”. He gently strokes your cheek while you admire him, “You.” you reply dazedly. His smirk widens to a bear malicious grin, “Me? How come?”. A feeling you’re not totally familiar with, but you’re pretty sure is called submission, fills you suddenly and you feel warm and content. “You’re perfect,” you bat your eyelashes and bite your lip as you gently start to stroke your hand up and down his length.

>He controls his breathing, because he really can’t handle you looking so cute with his cock that close to your pretty little face. “‘Tch, and? What’s got you so worked up about it?” You giggle and nuzzle your face into the base of his cock and look up at him innocently. “I’m just glad I’m yours,” you smile and lick him from base to tip before gently taking him into your mouth. You’d read enough smut online to at least have some idea how to do this.

> He almost cums when you say that you’re glad to be his. His, he grins. He doesn’t get to think about that for too long though because your warm, wet tongue is sliding up his shaft and then your pretty little mouth engulfs him and he thinks he might hyperventilate if you keep looking up at him like that. He’d almost say it wasn’t fair, but then you start moving and he thinks that he could actually die happily from the warm bliss that fills him while he watches you try to take more and more of him down your throat.

> This is much more fun than you thought it would be, especially because Katsuki keeps letting out those little sighs and groans, you’re pretty sure he doesn’t even realize he’s doing it. You hollow out your cheeks and suck a bit harder before taking a deep breath and relaxing your throat as much as possible. You lower yourself down as far as you can, pushing past the ring of muscle in the back of your throat before moving down further. You feel him lay his hand gently, encouragingly, on the back of your head. You’re surprised when you find your nose nestled in the light blonde fuzz at the base of him and you stick your tongue out to lap at the underside.

> He jolts when you begin your descent. You’re not really gonna try to deep-throat him, are you? He watches you, mesmerized. No ones ever even tried, always saying he was way too big. It felt way too good. He laid a hand on the back of your head to ground himself, quickly realizing he had to control himself so that he didn’t clench his fist in your hair or shove you down all the way and hold you there. When you reached your goal, he sighed. Your throat felt perfect wrapped around him, just like he knew it would. When he felt your tongue sneak out of your mouth and lick, he thanked whatever creator there was that your tongue was long enough to reach his anchor. when you start to move your head up and down, he can only take it for so long before he’s thrusting up into your mouth. When you gag on him, that’s it, he has to pull you off him before he grips your head and suffocates you on his cock.

> He’s nearly at the point of begging, but thankfully, mercifully, you seem to get the idea. You wipe your mouth and lie back on the bed, giggling at his abruptness and he growls in response. He kisses you, and praises you, telling you how good you are, how much he needs to be inside you as he undresses you. You’re surprised at how automatically your legs open for him, and you tell him how much you need him inside of you as well. You feel so empty all of a sudden. Until one of his thick fingers finds your molten core and gathers some of your slick before sinking into you and you gasp.

> He continues to kiss and praise you as he works you with his fingers. You whine and moan and beg, it’s like music to his ears. When he thinks you’re ready, he lines himself up with your entrance, sliding up and down, grinding against your clit briefly before continuing. “I wanna hear you beg for it, princess.” and fuck, did you beg. A beautiful litany of filthy fucking words fell from your mouth, and he couldn’t take it anymore. He sinks into you fully in one thrust, gripping your open legs for stability.

> At first you can’t speak, you can’t make any noise at all. You feel so unbelievably full, and you look up at him and his eyes are clenched shut and his jaw is set. He’s holding himself back. He’s trying to be gentle with you because it’s your first time. He really is very sweet when he wants to be. You raise a shaky hand to his face and he leans into it. He met your eyes and you watch as his control falters when he sees you bent in half like this. You smile, “Katsuki, please”, is all you can say. It seems to open the flood gates. For all his self control, he pounds into you mercilessly and it fills you with the most intense feeling of ecstasy. “F-fuck ‘Tsuki, you feel s-so fucking good,” you moan and gasp brokenly.

> He cums hard. Grunting, growling, and near snarling the whole way through. You’re seeing stars, even though you haven’t cum. It had felt so fucking amazing, and you’re more than content with that. Katsuki is definitely not however, and is intent on eating you out until you beg for mercy. He always takes such good care of you.

[waters-and-the-wilde]

okay gotta shake the brain upside down again and the new ep is going to be out in a couple days so i wanna put this somewhere before we start finding this stuff out

because clearly we're about to get paydirt on Nureyev's Vague Yet Menacing Creditors and I've been thinking that apart from the fact that I bet they have an in with Dark Matters? I also bet these are the same people/entity that helped Jack Takano disappear and gave Ramses O'Flaherty his new identity and access to the Theia technology

possibly they're involved in the form of funding or comprising the development team behind the whole 'signing off on untested tech bit' which makes them also responsible for the whole rogue Theia program. not sure if they snuck it in behind Ramses' back or if it really was a sort of unintended code mutation but the whole mind control bit sure sounds like the kind of thing that would be convenient for them. maybe bit of both. then Newtown happens and they had to call Dark Matters in for the coverup, and Dark Matters benefits from what they do enough to consider them an ally so they were like 'sure we'll sweep this under the rug'

and maybe vice versa, they fund/provide the tech/resources that Dark Matters uses, like wiping their agents' records, which may explain how they could keep Dark Matters from looking too closely at Rex Glass. why'd they sneak a guy into Dark Matters? idk probly they wanted Nureyev to succeed at the Martian artifact heists to keep the payments coming and they weren't technically using him against Dark Matters. (also! maybe this is who's providing the super cutting-edge amongus drone tech?)

can't quite pin down the specifics but this would help tie together all the main threads: Nureyev's debts, Sasha & Dark Matters, Newtown, also the Curemother Prime if part of their whole deal is Pharm/Cryo/Med/Cyber tech, since this is probably also coming back to the poker game and Slip's patent. so they're not related to the four companies involved in the medical debt system but would either stand to gain a great deal if they got hold of the CmP or desperately do not want the Curemother Prime at large for the same reason as the other companies, that they could no longer keep their debtors secure by holding them hostage through their healthcare.

so when Nureyev promises them the four keys they have to plan accordingly; best guess is they let him think the four keys payment will be enough? I can't imagine why he wouldn't assume they'd go after the CmP themselves, but if they're hands-off enough with him it's possible that he was hoping to get away with it as a gambit: promise them the keys while the Aurinkos make off with the CmP, maybe he's even trying to let them think he's been working alone all along

(also wow apart from being anxious as hell about having to sneak off with the four keys, I could see him being extra terrified of a repeat of the Utgard Express thing, succeeding in the heist only to hand-deliver the macguffin to the people they're trying to keep it away from.) and then they steal it and he's nervous and jumpy for the next three days but still thinks he can bring his creditors the four keys and hopes that they'll go on a wild goose chase for a Curemother Prime that isn't there bc fuck knows the other companies won't want it getting out that the CmP has been swiped

but if the Vague Yet Menacing Tech Conglomerate has been in touch with Dark Matters, and Dark Matters has been following this practically from the start -- targeting M'tendere, sending out the impostor drone, trying to neutralize the keys -- then maybe Dark Matters clued them in that somebody else is working with the Aurinkos and they can't find shit on this guy, is he one of of yours? and then they realize Nureyev's not working alone. and then they tip Dark Matters the nod the moment Nureyev reports that he's showing up with his payment because they know what that means.

also! maybe they each think they're using each other, bc the Vague Yet Menacing Tech Conglomerate wants the CmP for their own purposes, and Sasha's letting them go on thinking that if Dark Matters captures it they'll let VYMTC use it, but by the time she's in charge she's probably also decided that instead of being in each other's pockets she's going to bring the VYMTC to heel because that's the only way they'll fit within her greater good vision (and she doesn't want them to help her disappear and has to get Rita to do it)

speaking of Rita i want to know what she knows because she said something about 'then i got into a place I reeeeeeally wasn't supposed to' when she looked Nureyev up so if it's going to take a minute before Juno unlocks the next part of the journal I bet she knows some things about our boy that might be helpful

i am. very excited for Rita Juno Puck escapades but also dear god I miss the Lighthouse Crew so fucking much and it's probably going to be months before we hear anything from them and look i am a slut for a gallows rescue trope and i'm sure we're going to get a good one but i MISS THEM i'm gonna scream

anyway i just had one final thought that just made all my clever little brain thoughts go bang and that's that the VYMTC and the people who helped him disappear are probably entirely separate, or at least that's what i make of 'it pays to have powerful friends when one makes powerful enemies'. so it makes more sense that he's actually in debt to the people who are hiding him from the people Slip played poker with, it's just that all of this is already overcomplicated and a Vague Yet Menacing Agency Pileup could make the story kind of top-heavy so uuhhhhh. I still think there's something to a connection to Ramses and the Theias? godspeed that's a lot of plot points i hope they come together nicely

[ryansjane]

i think dan didn't know that he'd be forced to betray the gang until the day (or even the night) it happened. when he told yok to wait for him and that they'd win the fight together, he still believed they could expose tawi together, using dan's trusted source, and i think that conversation took place at least a few days before the mission. so he meant every word, he was just forced to do something else.

i also think he's extremely reluctant to betray them, but desperate to keep them alive, which is why he at first arrests them, but then helps takes out the other guys the second black shows up to fight and thus gives dan a new option. or, alternatively, he's the one who called black, but idk how much i believe that.

i think he has enough faith left in the system to believe that, while the gang being arrested would be awful, would not be the worst thing that could happen. i think he has enough faith that being in the system can save them, whereas they believe (and rightly so) that they either won't get a fair trial and will just be thrown in jail, or that they'll straight up be killed by tawi's inside men.

i do believe he can be redeemed, without dying, and it's what i'm hoping for. i'm not sure about dan and yok, though. they might not get their happy ending together.

anyway, i forget, do you watch you're my sky? what do you think about the latest episode, if you do?

completely agree, it's very clear that dan still cares IMMENSELY for yok, even though his actions do still end up incredibly cruel against him. like I do believe he's not a bad person, but certain things like pulling a gun on the dude whose father you killed or even just being the one to put handcuffs on yok when all the other guys only got the ziploc things... were truly very fucked up. as I said I really, really, REALLY hope for a redemption of some sort bc fuck dan was in my top 3 characters of the show & I adore danyok, but yeah... idk if him & yok can get back together even if he redeems himself :(((

also I am watching you’re my sky, if you're talking about ep 9 which is the latest one I've watched, I'm... kinda over this show tbh? like the cinematography is GORGEOUS, truly beautiful, but I feel like it's kinda all this show has got going on for it? the stories are very basic & SUPER slow, the acting is made awkward & stilted from the weird directing that creates long pauses in between sentences & the chemistry is okay but not world shattering either. ep 9 truly was the first ep where I felt bored from beginning to end, and I fastforwarded a lot of it... which is kinda sad bc I really liked the first few eps of the show :///

xxx

[bambi-kinos]

Hi! I loved your addition to the post about John being weird about Paul’s girlfriends and was wondering if you wouldn’t mind elaborating on why you think John and Paul would have worked in a domestic setting. I feel like most people on here conclude that them being in an actual relationship would have ended in disaster or something like that but I guess I’m in the minority who don’t think so and think that it could’ve worked.

Hello anon! I love this topic so thank you for sending this in. I also ended up writing a massive novel in response, I hope you like it.

Firstly, I think they would work in a domestic setting because I'm a contrarian asshole. I think McLennon fandom is bit too infatuated with the tragedy of John and Paul and they're not looking at the whole picture. There was a lot of tragedy for John and Paul but there was also a lot of love and joy. John and Paul are genuinely compatible and the fact that they split apart like they did is due more to the pressures of fame and the drug use magnifying their personality flaws than because they were ~inherently doomed~. I think that it's important to keep in mind that they became artistic partners before all of that and they ended up with a strong mutually assured relationship. Later on they both attributed their split to the greed of businessmen and the actions of leeches trying to split them apart for the sake of profit. And they were right about that. (And it hurts to hear their own self blame in those quotes. They both knew they set their relationship on fire for no good reason and they regretted it immensely.)

So keeping all that in mind, I think that independently, John and Paul would have worked just fine in domestic life, because we already have proof that they worked as a unit in domestic life. Think of how different their lives would have turned out if they had simply been songwriters in the background like Rodgers and Hammerstein. Famous but not apocalyptically famous. John would have had time to understand and overcome his insecurities and Paul would have had room to grow into his feelings. This kind of growth is necessary for any kind of successful relationship and goodness knows they had plenty of incentive to do so. Given the space I think there was a distinct chance they would have made it work and would have come to a romance on their own volition.

However that's not the context we're talking about. We have to think about them in the context they actually lived: two apocalyptically successful rock and roll stars that knew they were guiding history in a strange new direction and were incredibly frightened of that fact as well as of each other.

First of all we have to think about where they were and how they would get to a domestic romantic life. John and Paul were strung out, dealing with drug problems and had massive communication issues with each other and their closest friends. They wanted to go back to the time where they were kids and could communicate with a glance across a stage. They thought this was telepathy and they wanted it back. They were scared of their impending developmental milestones. Paul panicked and tried to escape from John's smothering embrace causing John to collapse into the arms of a narcissist who exploited him for the rest of his life. These are the facts and this is the situation they had to dig themselves out of if they were actually willing to commit to a romantic partnership.

There would have to be some sort of crisis or inflection point to force them to finally spit out their feelings. I'll probably write that fanfic someday but the point is that the only way they'll breach the topic is one of them holds the other one down and makes it happen. Right now I'd nominate John for that role because he was the one desperate enough to try and Paul needs to be pushed and pulled into taking that kind of action. Once this happened though I think it would be a dam breaking. They would be unable to stop talking. Which is exactly what they need.

The foundation of any solid relationship is honesty and mutual respect. I think that in the case of John and Paul confessing their feelings they would also be forced to explain their behavior to each other. ("What the fuck have you been doing?!" "What the fuck have YOU been doing?!" "I asked first!" "I didn't start until you did!")

And that this would force a preference cascade of sorts where they couldn't hide from each other anymore. Whether they liked it or not they would have to cough up their true thoughts and feelings and motives to each other. After living with that wall between them I think they would push each other very hard with "no more lying, no more hiding, no more omissions and half truths, complete honesty only." This would be painful for them initially since their relationship was built on them trying to put on strong fronts for each other but a romantic connection with their intensity could handle it. I truly believe that. Irl they were scared they weren't strong enough for each other but that was never true, it was a boogeyman created and enforced by outside circumstances. They were always strong enough to help each other.

So I think that Paul and John would have to come to a set of rules -- no more lies, no more omissions or half truths. They would probably wrangle over drugs but in the spirit of "no more lies" Paul would have to be straight with John about the heroin and how it was affecting him. John would have words for Paul's cocaine use and none of them would be very nice. I don't think they would get sober immediately but I think similar to Ringo and Barbara decades later, domestic John and Paul would kick their habits together though they'd probably do it cold turkey (with lots of suffering.) But the important part is that they would do it together, and similar to how their loss of their mothers brought them together, I think them slaying the addiction dragon as a unit would help forge that bond as a couple. In fact you could even imagine it as their romantic milestone: once you've held each other through the gut cramps and the shakes you decide whether you're in or out. And I think after everything they've been through, they would both go "yeah, I'm in for the long haul on this."

John always wanted to be closer to Paul and Paul longed to care for John. That would give them the intimacy they were striving for and they would learn how to support each other mutually. (I'm imagining an Audie Murphy scenario where they go to a hotel for a week without telling anyone and lock the door against dealers and sycophants lmao.) Again, the mutual honesty and obeying their new ground rules for their new adult relationship would preclude the possibility of lies and self sabotage.

It would be bumpy and they would backslide at times for sure, but once Paul is committed then he's committed. That wouldn't change once the subject of commitment becomes John Lennon. He would grab hold of their love like a life preserver and cling for all he was worth. John would adhere because of how long he's been in love with Paul and he would know how fragile the moment was. That he only gets one shot at this so he needs to make it count. So for those reasons they would stick together, lean on each other, feel out the new shape defined by their adult bodies and minds.

That's what I keep coming back to -- their mutual love and need was so intense, once it came spilling out there's no way they could put that genie back in the bottle. They would have no choice but to acknowledge it once it crashed down on them. They would have to rebuild into a stronger shape.

I have no clue what the band is doing in the background of all this. Probably put on hold tbh. George off doing his thing and Ringo at his side but without the inflection point of Allen Klein they would be able to put some distance between them and the latest Lennon&McCartney drama while still being able to support them. John and Paul desperately needed their own private space to redefine their relationship in and I can imagine George and Ringo giving them (exasperatedly, affectionately, stolidly, "it's about time"ly) shelter to have it out, finally.

Honestly the sex would be insanely good. Once they got used to the idea of making love to another man, to their best friend, it would be intense and gratifying. Don't underestimate the power of good sex. Physical intimacy is very important to people who have those needs. I think them having another way to be a part of each other would help them understand each other better. Physicality is a language all on its own.

Once they got over that hump they would have to pick up a lot of pieces but at that point they're committed. They're joined at the hip again but this time Paul's not playing around and John's not looking away. Their professional lives would have to be rebuilt in a completely different manner. Not just a singer-songwriter couple but as an intimate committed one deciding how to present themselves to the world. Much easier to do when you're both sober and you're finally willing to be gentle with each other though.

And as for their actual, in-house domestic life, well. I think they would both take turns wearing the apron, as it were. I don't think John hated being a homemaker in the 70s, it's just that he also wanted the option to do other things and oh boy as a working woman I can empathize with that. For Paul, he had that soft domesticity taken away from him when his mother died so he would have to figure out what he wanted and how John figured into it. That might lead to some angst because they would run up against the fact that they can't give each other biological children. IMO that was something that ate away at John, that he and Paul couldn't have had their own children together (and Linda could.) Paul was pining for a large family at that point and I think John was keenly aware of his lacking equipment. At some point it becomes clear that Paul is explicitly giving up his shot to have that family because he's choosing John. (I always think of how John and Paul both gave interviews where they openly discussed the fact that their relationship would be completely different if Paul were a woman and though they didn't mention it I can't imagine they didn't realize what that would mean for a John and Paulette.)

But they already have a template for solving the issues of domestic life. They take turns. They pick up each other's slack. John forgot to take the trash out so Paul just does it for him. Paul didn't make lunch the night before, John gets up and does it for him. It really isn't that different from writing a song together, you bring something to the table and your partner gives suggestions or creates something to go with it or into it. It works the same way with chores as it does for making art together.

That's what I'm driving at here -- their domestic life would be successful explicitly because they already had a working partnership. They know how a good marriage works because they already had one. If they made a conscious effort to rebuild it with a stronger foundation they would have made it in terms of a domestic partnership.

They were always going to be a tempestuous couple but they liked that about each other too. They liked everything about each other, even the grimy parts of each other's personalities. Paul liked it when John negged his dates, it got him hot and bothered and he encouraged it. John liked it when Paul was possessive of him in the studio and in Hamburg, he felt wanted and desired.

The really big obstacles that stopped them from being a couple was that they struggled to move on from their jejune perception of each other. That they weren't honest with each other, which breeds a lack of mutual respect. Once they started talking and once they admitted "yes I've been in love with you since I was a kid, I'm willing to make this work" I think they would have been loyal enough to each other to try after ten years of trauma and degradation. A monogamous romance and the chance to create a good life together would be beautiful and truthful enough to keep them together, I think.

[blue-is-a-sapphic-color]

yo I don't have time nor brain to enter the discussion at large but regarding this:

'i don’t think the disc finale was staged because i believe Dream’s “the ends justify the means” mindset is strong enough to lead him to genuinely try and bring the server together through blackmail.'

- these things are not mutually exclusive imo, he could've staged the finale with Punz in order to bring everyone together against him as an extension of the end justifying the means, the means being sacrificing himself for the goal. like at the end of the day if he knew they will come for him or didn't know they will come for him doesnt change the fact that they all came for him yknow? I think it's not outside of the realm of possibility for him to go 'okay if they all come here and lock me in the prison they'll be united against me and I'll be outside the picture and everyone will be one happy family'. he probably didn't count on c!Tommy being willing to take all his lives and everyone else just watch it so he had to save his ass with the book-

like I know we both in our hearts agree he's not the master manipulator everyone thinks and he is, at the end of the day, a moron (/hj) but I can see the 'finale was staged' theory work with that in mind :D - Lost

(just for context, this ask is referencing this post)

I think something just clicked! you're right. but you're also wrong! these things are not mutually exclusive, it's true! right now, i can almost seamlessly switch between c!Dream knowing they'll come and c!Dream not knowing, it doesn't really matter. But at the same time, it's still not the same thing!

There are now three distinct interpretations in my mind:

self-aware, self-sacrificing c!Dream

somewhat self-aware, self-dehumanizing c!Dream

not self-aware, self-destructive c!Dream

They can work as a sort of… spectrum of c!Dream interpretations. There are obviously a lot of other factors that these brief synopses don’t consider! For example, does c!Dream, in any of these interpretations, believe he’s bad? Not that he’s actions are bad, but that he, himself is bad?

Let’s start.

Self-aware, self-sacrificing c!Dream is what some people call the strategist c!Dream. He’s ruthless, and he knows it. His “the ends justify the means” mindset applies to himself too. He consciously sacrificed himself at the disc finale to unite the server against him.

This c!Dream probably has or had an escape plan that could’ve been compromised, leading him to the situation he’s in now. He plans his speeches and probably even rehearses them. He curates them to each person, knowing which taunts work better on which members, explaining the different ways he talks to different groups of people.

He has a cruel streak, but he also self-reflects and isn’t ‘evil’ for the sake of being evil. He’s focused and measured in his responses but can sometimes be impulsive. He cares very deeply for everything and everyone in the server, cutting his connection to his best friends to both keep them safe when his downfall came and to spare them the hurt of having to move on from him.

He conceals his feelings to not appear weak. He’s tired of having the whole server on his shoulders and exhausted from having to keep up his perfectly constructed ‘big bad villain’ facade. He’s a close friend of Punz, who helped him execute the disc finale. He’s like an older brother to Enderboo. He’s plagued with nightmares.

He’s the cool c!Dream.

Somewhat self-aware, self-dehumanizing c!Dream looks similar to cool c!Dream in his execution of the disc finale but his thought process is completely different. He’s ruthless because he needs to be. His “the ends justify the means” mindset applies to himself too, but not in a conscious way. He views himself so much like a weapon, a tool, a means to an end, that he doesn’t care if he is the way to accomplish his goal.

He was originally going use the vault of attachments to blackmail the server into unity, and if all else failed he would still use it in a heartbeat, but he realized that using himself to create a server-wide threat was much more efficient. What he tells Tommy and Tubbo at the finale is a mix of truth and overdramatization, blended with some things he makes up hoping it sticks.

He’s cruel because that’s the only way he’ll get anything done. He leaned into his whole ‘big bad villain’ persona so much that he has trouble separating it from his own personality. This scares him. He cares very deeply for everything and everyone in the server, sometimes to the point of blinding him to their needs. He regrets how things ended between him and his best friends, but thinks, in the end, it was for the best.

He hides his feelings because he’s afraid, and feels more at ease when he’s in control. He’s lonely in his desperate journey to seek what was once a healthy server, having only his tentative friendship with Enderboo to fall back on. He cries himself to sleep.

He’s the tragic c!Dream.

Not self-aware, self-destructive c!Dream believes in every. single. word. that comes out of his mouth because he forced himself to believe them. He’s ruthless because there’s no other way. He repeated “the ends justify the means” over and over again until his hands stopped trembling, the grip on his axe turning steady, and his voice didn’t waver, no longer choking up when he threatened to murder his family.

His plan was always to use the vault of attachments to blackmail the server back to what it used to be. He means what he tells Tommy and Tubbo at the finale, but doesn’t know if he would truly be capable of carrying it out, in the end.

He’s cruel because he doesn’t know any better. He thought other members of the server agreed with his methods and was blindsided by the finale, although deep down he might’ve known it was a possibility and let it happen anyway. He cares so deeply for everything and everyone in the server that it consumed him, making him do absolutely anything to achieve his goal.

He can’t let anyone know what he feels or else it will be used against him, just like everything he ever cared about. That’s why he let his best friends leave him. He misses them so much. He’s alone. So incredibly alone in his hopeless attempt at peace. He desperately needs control, and craves validation for his actions. He doesn’t sleep, not anymore.

He’s my c!Dream.