#which is stepping out of the role that she’s been constrained to in the past

[daydreamerdrew]

The Incredible Hulk (1968) #205

[sevenines]

Would you mind sharing some of your analyses/thoughts on Lapis Lazuli SU?

oh where do i START…

to keep this constrained i’ll try to keep this to what i think her role in the larger narrative is.

the whole series is based off of the feeling of being a child and experiencing the world unravel around you. listen to almost any rebecca sugar interview and she will bring up the theory of the sublime: the idea that there is a whole world out there, yet you are constrained by your own lived experiences (in su’s case, steven’s pov!)

when we first meet lapis, steven knows close to nothing about gems. she’s the first one outside of the crystal gems he meets, and not only is it on accident, but the gems continuously try to maintain their secrets throughout it all!

at this point in the series she represents everything steven doesn’t know about gemkind. she is first in a long line of gems to be shown suffering from some nebulous past, starts off spouting about concepts steven doesn’t yet understand, and wants to escape to an unfamiliar but important somewhere. she is everything steven has been frustratingly kept away from, and her release is when he chooses to blatantly disobey the gems and step out into the scary unknown that he isn’t really equipped for.

then we get Malachite. lapis is there, then gone. we see her for another episode and she immediately disappears. even up to her unfusing she’s a mystery that we truly only get to look into at ‘alone at sea’.

i once saw someone funnily ask why the hell a thousands-of-years-old alien was “trauma dumping” on some kid, and they have a point. for the first time in the series, bubbly, optimistic steven is horrified at a friend's actions. steven's "what!?" to lapis admitting she enjoyed trapping jasper is his first time encountering the terrifying idea that the ones he loves do awful things—which he would previously accept for the greater good, but even that reveal is too much for steven. imo, this episode is the precursor to the eventual "reveal" that rose shattered pink diamond, and won't be the last time lapis is narratively used in such a way.

as for her time on the barn, she very much reminds me of someone you really want to help but who’s struggles you ultimately can’t understand. barn mates is a painfully optimistic episode. to me it shows how even innocent actions can go wrong when it comes to a person with trauma. for example, peridot giving lapis her tape recorder is meaningful and sweet, but she ultimately gives lapis a device that can do nothing but repeats what it hears (a mirror). we never saw much of lapis’ time as malachite, and this new lapis is almost unfamiliar. seeing fan characterizations of lapis pre-barn mates is amusing; she’s a whole different person! but she has changed so much behind the scenes, a trend that will continue for the rest of the series. it makes you yearn for more of her. it’s sublime.

what happens in the barn is also narratively shrouded. we see glimpses of peridot and lapis’ relationship—how they get along but also subtle hints as to how they’re a little unhealthy. from what i can tell, fans went CRAZY over these two. putting them in a barn yet showing very little only encourages people to fill in the gaps and to wish for more. which is the purpose of a sublime work! the idea that more is happening that you can’t see, inviting you to meet the work halfway and fill in the blanks yourself. great for a show with a big fandom.

side tangent here, i find it really really funny that lapis and peridot are metaphorically married. they get a child in gem harvest and even get divorced: peridot gets the kid and lapis takes the house LMAO like they really went there huh

anyways, skipping over several episodes for the sake of length (like it isn’t long enough already), we get to raising the barn. it’s similar to alone at sea in which we finally get the full view of one of lapis’ unhealthy relationships. i really like this episode because it calls for the viewer to recontextualize their past episodes. lapis flies away, even more of a mystery now, until can’t go back.

it’s important that this episode comes right before a single pale rose. it’s poetic than in chasing down his most mysterious ally steven finally is in the right position to unlock the biggest secrets of the series.

this idea of everyone having their own unseen lives gets expanded to a majority of the cast in suf, but i think lapis was most emblematic of it in the og series.

outside of the chronology of the series, one example rebecca sugar has given for what a "sublime work" is is the idea of a model gazing off in the distance. their mind is occupied with something that the viewer doesnt know, further enticing them. most of the time, in signings and sketches post online, rebecca's drawings of the gems are of them smiling at the viewer, with a look of series-sufficient determination, or in a specific scenario. only a few are an exception to this, one of the main ones being lapis! even in her recent signing livestream, admist the cheery cast, lapis was drawn looking far off with a distant sadness.

on the sillier side, she embodies the moody and distant teenager trope so well. the crew in general describe her as having "emo goth rage", she is representative of rebecca's troubled teenage years, and is practically a "this is my epic angel demon oc". she literally was about to have angel wings. imagine that!

tl;dr lapis embodies the mystery of the show as a sublime work.

[xasha777]

In the year 2424, the world was not as we knew it. The boundaries between human and machine had blurred so seamlessly that one could hardly tell where flesh ended and circuits began. She was a product of this age, an embodiment of human ingenuity and artificial precision, named Aelita.

Aelita was not born; she was created, a masterpiece of cybernetics, with irises that could scan the galaxy and a mind wired to understand the language of the cosmos.

Her creators, the secretive yet celebrated Order of the Sempiternal, had a mission: to unlock the mysteries that lay beyond the reaches of human understanding. To this end, they had harnessed the mind of a historical figure, Nedeljko Čabrinović, a man from the distant past whose fervent idealism and intelligence had been resurrected within Aelita's electronic consciousness. The Order believed that the blending of Čabrinović's revolutionary spirit with Aelita's advanced capabilities could lead to a new era of exploration and understanding.

Nedeljko's persona was chosen for his notorious role in the events that led to the Great War of the 20th century—an instigator of change, albeit through violent means. The Order hypothesized that his disruptive nature could challenge the status quo, leading to breakthroughs in space exploration and possibly even contact with extraterrestrial intelligence. Aelita, equipped with Nedeljko's consciousness, was their experiment in creating an agent of change not constrained by the limits of human frailty.

Her skin was a lattice of bio-synthetics, a shimmering canvas that could heal and adapt to any environment. Aelita's hair, fine strands of metallic threads, reflected light with the faintest touch of gold, a symbolic nod to the revolutionary’s fiery spirit which now simmered within her circuits.

The Order's headquarters, a space station orbiting Earth named the Čabrinović Enclave, was where Aelita called home. It was from here that she would embark on her mission to traverse the universe, to reach the places that were once mere points of light in the Earth's night sky.

As Aelita prepared for her first mission to the edge of the solar system, the Order's elders spoke of "The Event Horizon," a point in space where the known laws of physics ceased to exist. They believed that beyond this point lay answers to humanity's oldest questions—were they alone, what was the universe made of, and most importantly, what was humanity’s place within the cosmic tapestry.

Her ship, the N.C. Revolution, named in honor of Nedeljko Čabrinović, was ready. As she stepped aboard, her sensors activated, interfacing seamlessly with the ship’s controls. She felt a surge of Nedeljko’s rebellious energy flow through her. With a silent command, the engines ignited, and the ship slipped from the enclave's moorings, gliding into the darkness of space.

Aelita, part human, part machine, and part something entirely new, became a lone sentinel on the frontier of the unknown. She was an explorer, a revolutionary, and to many, a beacon of the future. But to the universe, she was a question in search of an answer.

And so, she journeyed on, into the vast unknown, carrying with her the legacy of a revolutionary from the past and the hopes of humanity's future. What she would find out there, amidst the stars and the silence, would perhaps redefine the very concept of life and existence. For Aelita was more than a machine, and more than human—she was the herald of a new chapter in the saga of the cosmos.

[sokkastyles]

I was thinking about the moment when Aang burned Katara's hands. It's funny that there are people who blame Katara for her injury (because she was standing too close to Aang), although it is obvious that Aang is to blame for this. And only now I realized that Aang treated firebending as a game just like he treats his airbending, which is why he couldn't stop in time and burned Katara. It seems to me that this is the reason why fire became the last element that Aang had to study, for his full growth as a character, to start taking things more seriously and responsibly than before. While Zuko is learning on the contrary to be more free and liberated, like air.

I agree. I've said in the past that I feel like a lot of the hate Katara gets is because of the way the narrative positions her in opposition to Aang, both as a love interest and as the no-fun caretaker who is always trying to get him to take responsibility, and that's exacerbated when the narrative won't hold Aang responsible for things, such as the kiss in "Ember Island Players," which is why even people who like Katara argue that she really actually secretly wanted to be kissed (blegh), but Aang burning Katara is actually a place where I feel the narrative does do a good job of holding him responsible, and it's actually a huge part of his arc, so people who try to argue that it was Katara's fault for "standing too close" are not even paying attention to the show. There are other problems with the way that situation is addressed, and plenty of people have pointed out how Katara is the one who ends up having to comfort Aang over him burning her, while her pain is just magically healed, but it is something the show holds Aang accountable for and a big part of his development.

And you are right about him treating it as a game, just like he does with airbending, and this is an aspect of Aang's character that I feel is often overlooked. This isn't a criticism of Aang, it's very understandable that he is this way. He's a kid who grew up in peacetime. There's a tendency to idealize Aang's pacifism that I've seen in the fandom, and to portray him as someone who hates fighting, but that's not the case. He's a martial arts master, for Pete's sake! And he was just as hyped to learn firebending as any twelve year old boy would be. He thought the freedom fighters were super cool and didn't believe Sokka when he told them that Jet was dangerous. Even in "The Avatar State," which opens with his nightmares about the violence at the North Pole, he was totally into General Fong's plan and wouldn't listen to Katara when she warned him of the danger until Katara got hurt.

And this makes sense, if you think about it. Because Aang is a kid who grew up in an idyllic setting and was raised by pacifist monks, because airbending came easy to him, and because he wasn't there for the genocide of his people, he doesn't quite understand the real consequences of violence the way the other characters do. I'm not saying he takes violence lightly, because of course he doesn't, but he hasn't experienced things the way Katara and Sokka have, particularly how dangerous the Fire Nation can be, so it's more of a game to him until it becomes serious in a very real way, and by then it's unavoidable.

Look at when they go to the Fire Nation festival in "The Deserter:"

Katara: Aang, hold on! Where are we going?

Aang: I don't know, but there's a big crowd so it must be good.

Sokka: [Sarcastically.] Knowing the Fire Nation, it's probably an execution.

Aang: I gotta learn that trick!

It's not that Aang is naive, it's just that he doesn't have the same experience with the Fire Nation that Sokka and Katara do. Katara is cautious and fearful, and Sokka assumes the worst, while Aang is excited. Katara and Sokka grew up fearing violence from the Fire Nation, and lost their mother to that same evil, while Aang, despite the trauma of losing his people and witnessing the devastation at the Southern Air Temple, still remembers having Fire Nation friends. He's excited to be part of the firebending show while Katara is clearly terrified.

Aang didn't grow up in constant fear of raids like Sokka and Katara did, and he didn't grow up in a violent and abusive environment like Zuko did, so it makes sense that the consequences of violence aren't as real for him (this is also an aspect of what Zuko says to him in "The Southern Raiders" and why it annoys me when people say that Zuko was in the wrong to say what he said). And because Aang is also twelve, his initial feelings about firebending are more "fire cool" than anything.

That's why he's impatient with Jeong Jeong, and also why he's so shocked and upset when he does accidently burn Katara. And because of this he does a complete 180 and is afraid to ever firebend again. I also think that both Katara and Sokka's reactions were unexpected for him. Katara's terror and hurt is so palpable and Sokka's reaction towards Aang, tackling him to the ground, becomes horribly tragic if you think about how much Sokka wanted to be like his dad and was raised to be a warrior and protector of his tribe and family, and the flashback we get later of Hakoda running towards Kya, who he will find dead.

It's also made clear by the narrative that it was Aang's fault. I mean, I'm not saying Aang should be blamed, because of course it was an accident, but the reason Aang lost control of the fire was because he was being reckless, and playing with it. Part of it is also Jeong Jeong's fault, because Jeong Jeong has the opposite problem, and I do blame Jeong Jeong largely for Aang developing a complex around firebending. Both of them, because of their bad experiences with fire, become so afraid of hurting other people that they don't know how to handle it. And Jeong Jeong was actually the last person who should have been teaching Aang, because of his fear of his own fire. Aang disobeys Jeong Jeong and is too reckless, but Jeong Jeong also is way too timid and doesn't teach Aang, who is eager to learn more, how to keep his fire from going out of control. He teaches Aang to be afraid of the fire because he is afraid of it.

(I actually also think this is tied to why Aang is afraid of Katara's desire to face Yon Rha in "The Southern Raiders" as well. When Aang is exposed to situations where he is confronted with the reality of violence, he becomes incredibly fearful and loses control. That's why he's afraid of Katara losing control and falls back on Air Nomad aphorisms that land on deaf ears to Katara and Zuko.)

This is ultimately why Zuko ends up being the perfect firebending teacher for Aang. Zuko had a lot of the same problems, and had to learn the hard way how to control his fire, but because he's had those experiences and learned from them, and decided that he wanted to become better, he's able to teach Aang how to have a more balanced view. Zuko had to learn how to be more like air, but one of the things I love about "The Firebending Masters" is how Zuko and Aang's roles are somewhat switched, and Aang is constrained by his own fears while Zuko is more free than we've ever seen him:

Aang: [Scared.] Zuko, I think the past is trying to kill me.

Zuko: [Kneeling down to inspect the spikes.] I can't believe it. [He picks the tripwire up and examines it.] This booby trap must be centuries old and it still works.

Aang: There's probably a lot more. Maybe this means we shouldn't be here.

Zuko takes two steps back and runs toward the wall adjoining the path. He runs on the wall before jumping on the other side of the spikes.

Zuko: [Dusting some dirt on his shirt.] Where's that up-beat attitude you were talkin' about?

(This is also a rare scene of Zuko bending air.)

Because in the end, it's all about balance. Aang learns to have more confidence and Zuko learns to be more wise. There's a great message there about learning from your mistakes. Yes, you should be careful especially when you are in danger of hurting others, but if you're too hesitant then you'll always be held back by your fear, and you might end up hurting others more in the end.

[johannas-motivational-insults]

Glimmer’s Upcoming Villain Arc

So, I’m pretty sure Glimmer’s going to become one of the villains at some point in the final two arcs of SPOP. Not a Horde-aligned villain, obviously, but I think she’s going to have a villain arc and may even end up fighting against Adora. Sound crazy? Well, there’s actually precedent for all this in the Buffyverse, with the Dark Willow story arc. I will get more into those parallels below.

First, though, let’s look at Glimmer and her situation in isolation.

Glimmer is currently in a vulnerable position. She’s grieving the loss of her only remaining parent (so far as she knows) and she’s now going to be saddled with the responsibilities of ruling Bright Moon, all while lacking a parental/mentor figure to guide her. And who do we know who loves to guide and manipulate young people with magical powers? Shadow Weaver.

Some people saw Shadow Weaver allying with the Rebellion as the beginning of a redemption arc. However, it actually makes a hell of a lot more sense for the writers to have put her there to gain influence over Glimmer and kickstart her villain arc, starting with their unexpected connection in season 3. Though Glimmer clearly hadn’t forgiven Shadow Weaver for torturing her in season 1 or for emotionally abusing Adora throughout her childhood, she decided the Rebellion needed this evil woman’s help. It was a means to an end. But now that that mission to save Adora and disable the portal was a success, she probably won’t hesitate to ask for her help again.

Not only did Shadow Weaver gain a bit of Glimmer’s trust, Glimmer loved the boost in power she got from Shadow Weaver. She’s complained several times about how she thinks her powers aren’t that useful or strong, but Shadow Weaver fed her ego and gave her a chance to increase her powers. When she successfully teleported the Princess Alliance into the Fright Zone, she was ecstatic.

“We did it! I did it! That was amazing!”

Simply put, Glimmer is power hungry. Just look at her eyes when Shadow Weaver is talking about her potential to be a great sorcerer like her father.

This scene and the following scene in the tower gave me the creeps so bad, you could just feel Glimmer being pulled to the dark side by the promise of power. And now post-season 3, not only will she be craving that feeling of power again, there’s an inciting incident prompting her to use it.

With her mom trapped in an empty dimension forever, which is essentially hell (especially for an immortal person ffs), Glimmer will probably do everything she can to get her out. I’m guessing she’ll go to her Aunt Casta for help, but Casta will say there’s nothing to be done (at least not without resorting to dark magic), so Glimmer will go to Shadow Weaver out of desperation. Even if Shadow Weaver could come up with a way to bring Angella back, she’ll say she can’t, because she can use Glimmer’s grief for her own ends.

Shadow Weaver’s motive for defecting to the Rebellion was to take down Hordak and Catra, and at this point she could easily convince Glimmer to help her get revenge on Catra. In fact, there’s a chance Glimmer will go to Shadow Weaver herself looking to team up and get this revenge, though it’s more likely Shadow Weaver will plant the seed and manipulate her into thinking it was her own idea.

Inciting incidents aside, Glimmer has always been someone who had the potential to break bad. Like Catra, she’s power hungry and eager to prove herself, brash and impulsive, and quick to resort to violence. She’s easily blinded by emotion and can be quite heartless, both of which were illustrated in 1x01-02 by how she treated Adora because of what the Horde had done to her father.

She’s also morally gray, willing to go to extremes to achieve an outcome that she considers to be good or just. Her decision to free Shadow Weaver and use her to access the Fright Zone is a great example. Another notable instance was when she had Catra as a hostage in 2x02 and threatened to kill her to counter Catra’s threat against Entrapta. She was eventually talked down by Bow, but only while complaining about how having to take the moral high ground isn’t fair. She was clearly frustrated that entire episode by the constraints of being one of the good guys, and it culminated here.

Fighting for the rebellion, Glimmer is a force for good. But if she decides to chase her own agenda, her powers and personality could easily be used for evil. Especially when there’s someone there expertly guiding her down that slippery slope. 

Now, if the plot does indeed go this way, it will put Adora in a rather unfortunate position. If it comes down to a situation where Shadow Weaver and Glimmer have an opportunity to kill Catra, Adora will have to intervene on Catra’s behalf, for several reasons. 1) Catra is the most important person in her life, as we all know. 2) She cares for Glimmer’s soul. She knows that if Glimmer murders Catra it will haunt her and change her, and she doesn’t want that for her friend. 3) She feels the need to protect the helpless. Catra will probably be all alone in the world at this point, having pushed all her friends and allies away. So not only will she not have allies to fight with her, she’ll be in a poor state mentally, maybe even welcoming death. Even if she was in good shape, she wouldn’t stand a chance against Glimmer and Shadow Weaver’s combined magical powers. And since Adora can’t stand watching defenseless people get hurt, this will force her to step in and protect Catra despite all the negative feelings she has for her right now.

There are two people I could see pulling Glimmer out of this spiral, bringing her back to the light: Bow or Micah. Adora isn’t the best at sympathizing with someone’s dark impulses while fighting tham, as we’ve seen multiple times with Catra. Her job is to protect the world, and she will prioritize that over everything else, including her best friend (don’t we know it?). So that leaves Bow to talk Glimmer down, either by appealing to her morals (somewhat likely, but wouldn’t work at that point) or by reminding her of her innate good side, of the person she is deep down and the love he feels for her. The other way this could go down is Micah escaping from wherever he is trapped (he’s alive, yo) and convincing Glimmer to stand down with a dose of parental love and wisdom (and a big hug).

There are so many parallels to Buffy the Vampire Slayer in this potential situation, and here’s where we get into the Willow comparisons. SPOILERS for BtVS under the cut!

The comparison between Catra and the rogue slayer Faith has been made many times before, along with the relationships these two characters have with the respective heroes of their shows. But if Catradora is Fuffy, that leaves Glimmer in the Willow role. And there are actually a lot of similarities between the two characters, both being fiercely protective but tempermental magical sidekicks to the hero (who hate being called sidekicks, btw). Both have had trouble making friends in the past, and both have a dude they were best friends with for years before the hero came along and turned them into an inseperable trio.

And now, there are notable and worrisome plot parallels between Glimmer and Willow in seasons 5 and 6 of BtVS.

Buffy sacrifices herself to save the world at the end of season 5, and the “Scooby Gang” believes she was sucked into hell in the process, so they decide to try to bring her back via magic. There is some dissent among the ranks, but ultimately they defer to Willow (who leads in Buffy’s absence like Glimmer will be leading the Rebellion in Angella’s absence), and Willow is not afraid of dark magic. In fact, we already saw her use it in season 5 against Glory (that season’s big bad) after Glory temporarily stole the sanity of Willow’s girlfriend, Tara.

Willow’s attack on Glory was emotionally motivated - she went off on her own after the others thought they had talked her down, thinking an attack was unwise. It was clearly motivated by revenge rather than strategy, which was made exceptionally clear by what she said to Glory.

(This scene actually reminds me a bit of the aforementioned incident with Catra in 2x02, only more extreme. The situations were obviously different, but the vengeful overtones and the mages’ frustration with allies trying to constrain their powers were similar. Both of them were struggling with impulsiveness, morality, and vengeful desires.)

Willow is ultimately successful in bringing Buffy back, though it turns out to not be entirely a good thing. If Glimmer fails to bring Angella back, as I theorized above, she could easily skip ahead to the end of Willow’s season 6 arc, the next time Willow suffers a great loss.

(The middle of Willow’s season 6 arc is her getting addicted to magic and using it in morally dubious ways on Tara and her other friends, which causes Tara to leave her until after she stops using magic and recovers from the addiction. SPOP’s writers could include something like this, but I don’t think they will, for time’s sake. More likely they will just continue to show Glimmer being tempted and corrupted by power as she gets closer to Shadow Weaver, rather than using her powers on her friends.)

The end of Willow’s season 6 arc starts with the notorious shooting death of Tara Maclay. When Tara is hit by a stray bullet and dies in Willow’s arms, Willow attempts to use magic to bring her back, but is denied. This sends her into a spiral of rage and grief, and she spends the next two episodes attempting to kill the shooter and his hapless allies. She catches up to Warren and flays him alive, but the others escape with Buffy’s help. (In the finale she tries to end the world because she believes it is for the best, as life is too full of pain. SPOP definitely won’t pull this same plot point twice, but the revenge quest up to that point is absolutely something that would work for Glimmer.)

Speaking of Buffy stepping in, let’s look at parallels to the situation Adora will find herself in, if my theory is correct. 

Buffy tries to dissuade Willow from murdering Warren because she believes it’s wrong and she doesn’t want Willow to have to live with it after. When she finds Warren’s body she decides Willow has gone too far and stands against her when she tries to go after Warren’s allies. Willow is tired of Buffy’s lectures on morality, of living by the good guys’ rules. She wants revenge, and Buffy is standing in her way. She’s also tired of being treated like a sidekick and is eager to show Buffy who is more powerful. They end up having an epic fight scene before she decides to end the world.

With the way she gives in to her dark impulses, fights against Buffy and their friends, and tries to end the world, Dark Willow actually ends up being the big bad of season 6. Her best friend Xander is the one who ends up saving the world - not by fighting her, but by blocking her magic with his body, reminding her of who she has been all these years, and telling her repetitively that he loves her. He literally saves her (and the world) with the power of love and friendship, a recurring phrase on SPOP.

The perfect parallel here would be Bow stepping in and reminding Glimmer of the goodness inside her. Perhaps he’d face off with her while Adora is fending off Shadow Weaver. But yeah, for the reasons I outlined above, Bow would be the perfect candidate to call Glimmer back from the brink of becoming a murderer. He’s known her longer than Adora and is more empathetic. Xander is often referred to as “the heart” of the Scooby Gang, the one who lacks magical powers but makes up for it with his empathy, courage, and enthusiasm. Bow fills that same role in the Best Friend Squad and Princess Alliance, and he wears a literal heart on his chest. (Yes, Xander is problematic in some ways but damn it that’s so off-topic and I’m not getting into it.)

I don’t think Glimmer will actually succeed in her quest for vengeance, or at least it won’t culminate in Catra’s murder. SPOP deals with some dark themes but it's meant for a younger audience than BtVS, plus Noelle surely knows better than to kill a fan fave wlw. But Glimmer will probably have an opportunity to kill Catra and be dissuaded at the last second, then have to embark on a redemption arc of her own.

Again, this is all just a crazy theory, but the idea of Glimmer going dark is both scary and exciting. She’s most interesting as a character when she’s struggling with her darker urges, and I think SPOP has been hinting at and slowly setting this up over the first two arcs. Now with an inciting incident at play, she could easily give in to those urges in the wake of her grief, letting her vengeful streak bubble to the surface like it did for Willow. I can’t wait to see where the story takes her in arc 3.

[askbohemiancompany]

The Night Before

Tonight was supposed to be a calm night for Yuko. All of her executive work within Team Rocket was completed, or passed off to some low level grunt. Her favorite pokemon, Crewel, laid splayed on her lap like a skitty or lillipup on some other old crone’s lap (definitely not her). She had a glass of whisky imported from Galar with some water to chase it down. The woman was even in her comfortable clothes, no longer in that constraining executive suit she wore 10 hours a day. Both were in the delphox hole that was set aside for them to hide out while they spent their time in Hoenn. Things should be calm, relaxing given the night.

Yuko knew this was only the calm before the storm. Crewel, despite his relaxed posture, could sense this in his trainer. He did not know the exact nature of why she was dower, but all he knew was something bad was going to happen.

“Yuko.”

“Yes, Crewel?”

The banette did his best to try and think of the best way to ask this. He knew his master was tough as nails, but he did not want to upset her. Even if it just made her melancholic. “What do you think will happen tomorrow? I mean. For us.”

This question did not surprise the woman. Crewel was not stupid, she had him with her the longest of all of the ‘mons on her team. So he picked up on her inner workings, and vice-versa. It was not something she wanted to face.

“To be honest. I don’t know. Everything is colliding at once and…” The woman began to trail off. “Honestly it is a matter of who comes get me first.”

Crewel recomposed himself, sitting up straight on her lap. If any of their enemies -- and he knew there were more than a few -- were coming for them. He would need to handle them to keep his master safe. “Team Magma uses fire and dark types. If you use me alongside one of the water and fighting types we can take them.”

Team Magma. If there was any group that could be described as wasted potential, it was Team Magma. The goal of that team was pragmatic and actually made sense to Yuko. Creating land masses that could house more people and Pokemon would be a great thing. It also had the potential for profit, be it genuine or as a con. Maxie was the kind of man who could run a tight ship which, while not inspiring much in the way of loyalty, did manage to at least find more qualified people to achieve it. Bad land yields no bounty, irony aside. Their tendency for ecoterrorism really turned the public against them and made them into a global threat, unleashing Groudon and causing a drought in a pocket of the world.

“We could, but I’d rather keep as many pokemon as I can intact and avoid fighting. Besides, all I did was serve as the messenger that Team Rocket would not back their plans after their stunt at the Space Center. I still remember that purple hair girl glaring daggers at me for turning down their business.” Yuko chuckled.

To his surprise, she did not expand on his plan. Usually when he would bring something up like that, she would at least offer her own input. This made him want to try and move onto another potential threat.

“Well...Team Aqua is more rowdy and uses mostly water pokemon, so if we get some grass or electric ‘mons we can use them to fight our way through them.”

Team Aqua. That was a team that had more zealots than members. With their talks of returning the world to the ocean being the common theme they were known for, next to their far less professional presentation as a team, more akin to pirates down to their aesthetic. Their one saving grace was Archie, who had charisma to spare. He held all of the member’s hearts and loyalty. Plus he was surprisingly well versed in climatology and meteorology. Lowering and increasing the water levels in different pockets and decreasing the temperatures to fight global warming using a mixture of Kyogre and the castforms was actually very practical. No wonder many members of that group were so young.

“Honestly I think Aqua is less likely to come after me. With the exception of that big one who swore to hunt me down, Archie left on good terms when I told him Team Rocket would not back a group of pirates.” Oddly that was nostalgic for her.

Now Crewel was concerned. Yuko just had to be tired from the day. She did not claw her way to the executive position by not planning.

“What about the other Rocket members? Archie and Ariana are not that tough. We could just eliminate them. We have more experience than them!” Crewel’s voice sounded shaky.

Team Rocket. It was obvious that she knew the most about this group. She spent most of her adult life in that group, even during the Madame Rocket years. That era was when she felt Team Rocket was in its prime. More in the shadows, focusing on white collar crime and anytime they did resort to physical attacks, it was always swift and efficient. This was especially upheld when Giovani took over, even if he did more physical raids then she would have liked. For all his faults, Giovani led to what had to be one of the group’s biggest triumphs; the creation of Mewtwo.

Then Archer and Ariana stepped into the leadership roles while Giovani went into hiding. They were out of control. Every action they did in Johto was sloppy, from Slowpoke Cave and especially the Golden Tower raid. His only non-failure was what he did in Mahogany Town and Lake of Rage. Everything stopped being about profit and power, turning into a cult of Giovani. Everything they did was to bring him back when what they should have done was keep the organization going until he returned. She was more than vocal about this with some of the older rockets. As with any group, the younger generation stepped up and went along with it, saying that she was resting on her laurels and that times have changed. This led to many of the younger members coming to despise her, especially Proton.

“I would not put it past Archer or Ariana to send someone after me. Maybe for once they will take their heads out of Giovani’s rump and not mess up.”

Some slight relief came to the banette. At least she had some vigor the minute the two executives came up. He knew their teams inside and out from when he consistently thrashed them. “Yeah! Now we are talking I could go for the vileplume first and then-” His master did not seem amused. She was back to being quiet and melancholic. Crewel had enough and wanted to make his thoughts, literally, clear.

“Yuko please work with me! We need to make sure you survive. There has to be something we could do.” The ghost was desperate to try and get her to try and act in her self preservation.

The woman shook her head. “I am ashamed to admit, but odds are I expect the police to get me. I got careless and one of them tailed me back here.”

Careless was not the word that described it. At the time she was tailed she had just survived an attempt on her life from a rocket member acting on behalf of Proton. Not for a lack of trying but she had to juggle four balls and balance on a tightrope.

Crewel’s face sank at those words. “The police? You... You are just going to give up. After all this time you just want to give up...”

Noticing how upset he was, the older woman pet his head and gave a smile. “Crewel. You know I have always been a stubborn one. I also know when I have no way out. Sometimes fighting will make it worse.”

This was devastating to Crewel. “I... I don’t want them to take me away from you...” He sounded on the verge of tears.

“Oh, trust me. I’m not going to let that happen. If they try to take you, I’ll go for their legs and you can run as fast as you can.” Yuko chuckled at the joke suggestion.

A bright big smile crept onto Crewel's mug. He was smart enough to know she did not mean that literally. “Yuko... Thanks. I’ll be sure to do what I can for our escape.” This caused both to chuckle to themselves. For a moment both forgot about the troubles that loomed over them. And that is all they needed.

(This is my end of an art trade with @crewel-intentions. This is what happened the night before her arrest.)

[mittensmorgul]

I hope I’m not the only one still wondering about the “cosmic” consequences of Cas killing Billie?? Was it cas' death?? Mary’s death?? Both?? Something to do with jack?? They’ve obviously all had all manor of “cosmic” bs happen to them since that night, but I figured the consequences billie warned them about would be a little bit more.... clearly linked?

I think it was everything… but especially Billie becoming Death.

That’s the thing with “cosmic” events, that Supernatural itself has hung a lampshade on. There isn’t necessarily a straight line between cause and effect. No “oh no this terrible consequence is clearly a directly linked result of that cause.”

Remember what Billie’s deal had been? back before she’d had the power of Death to back her up and unbind her hands a bit? When she was “just a regular old reaper” who was constrained by that role to perform her function? One Winchester dead. That’s what had to happen. But Cas, the wild card, had stepped in and said NO. And Billie died BUT she was brought back with far more power AND insight into the bigger picture of the universe. And far more ability to manipulate events in her own right.

I’ve been writing about Death in Supernatural for years. Death is the ultimate game-changer going all the way back to s5. Death was the one horseman they didn’t have to “kill.” He handed Dean his ring and explained how to use them. He brought back Sam’s soul from the cage after teaching Dean his first real lesson on Cosmic Consequences (6.11). The results of his actions may not have had a clear, direct line back to his action, but we saw a simplified version of those events in that episode.

It’s also interesting to me that in retrospect now, that’s also what Death demanded of the Winchesters in 10.23… one must die. Dean rejected that and killed Death instead, making way for Billie to rise to the mantle in Dabb era.

Interesting, yes?

Her very first appearance in 11.02, she employs the threat of the Empty, making it out to be a terrible place of nothingness, but that’s not what we’ve seen there since… in 13.04 it was horrible thinking of Cas there, sleeping forever, how is that really different from Heaven? Souls locked in their little cubby reliving the past for eternity, in what’s been likened to a dream since the first time we got a glimpse of Heaven (in 5.16, thanks Dabb!). The only difference is the Empty lacks the bureaucracy of Heaven and the fancy hallways, oh, and Chuck has no power there.

(no, I don’t think Chuck actually resurrected Lilith from the Empty in 15.05. We just got a good look at his “writing process” there.)

But the show has subtly tried to tell us how cosmic consequences work, for a really long time. All actions have consequences, you know? Sometimes small things, sometimes world-altering things. We might not always know which are which.

For example, in 13.05, what was Billie really saying here:

Billie: Since I got this… new job, I stand witness to a much larger picture. Do you know what I see? You. And your brother. You’re important.Dean: Why?Billie: You have work to do. That’s all you need to know. And trust me, having my eyes opened to the necessity of any humans, especially Winchesters, is not a thrill. So… you wanna die, but I say… keep living.

What’s this “much larger picture” she’s seeing? Back when we first met her, she had a job that was clear-cut and had simple rules. What dies stays dead, and all that, and the Winchesters were meddlers, an affront to the natural order, in her eyes. But now that *we* know the extent of the larger picture, that takes on a whole new weight.

That episode also introduced the concept of her books of fates, recording everyone’s eventual death. We know those fates can be rewritten, the books can change but also that some people have more than one book to start with. 

WHY?!

It’s never explained to us, but it begs us to ask more questions. Who is writing these books? Who is changing these stories of people’s lives? I think that’s what Billie bore witness to– the depth of Chuck’s meddling in creation. The story became the story. And despite her not having the power to really do anything directly to stop that meddling, she finally understood the power of the Winchesters (meaning all of them, including Cas, and including Jack). I think she realized the game at play, and began outlining her own plot and doing what Death has always done with his knowledge and power.

Back during original Death’s tenure, he interfered just enough to nudge the story into an attempt at stability (teaching Dean about the consequences of his actions, about the power of human souls, helping to realign and maintain the balance of the natural order). But Billie… Chuck can’t stand her because she is a meddler, he said. She’s playing a bigger game, and it’s taken her this long to gently nudge the pieces around the board to where we are now– ready to face down Chuck directly and get his grubby hands off creation once and for all. It’s hard to do all that within the rules (i.e. the cosmic limitations of Death’s power). She’s still bound by Chuck’s ever-shifting rules, and revealing her hand too soon would’ve tipped Chuck off. So instead, she’s apparently been working WITH the Shadow entity in the Empty, and finally succeeded at getting ALL of Jack there for the conference Chuck couldn’t overhear.

(y’all have NO IDEA how curious I am about their talk…)

I think the clearest example we have of direct cosmic consequences came from Jessica the Reaper in 13.19 (with apologies for the huge block quote):

Jessica: Rowena’s changing people’s fates. She’s killing them before their time and when a reaper shows…Sam: She torches them too.Jessica: Yes.Dean: Why?Jessica: You’ll have to ask her when you stop her because if she keeps this up she is going to throw off fate. The whole greater machinery of death.Sam: That means?Jessica: Have you ever heard of the butterfly effect?Dean Ashton’s second best movie!Sam {looks at Dean, incredulous}: Yeah, of course… one small mistake can cause all kinds of bad. What about it?Jessica: If just one person dies before their time a lot of things that were supposed to happen…don’t. The ripple effect from just one early death can affect hundreds of lives and changing their fates changes even more fates until things just become sincerely unfortunate and we have to hit the reset button.Sam: What does that mean?Jessica: Usually? A mass kill off, like the Black Plague or a mid sized war… Something to wipe the board clean. So… your help in avoiding that would be greatly appreciated by everyone.Dean: If it’s so bad, why don’t you stop her?Jessica: You’ve met Billie, right? She’s got rules. Clean hands… no interference… no direct interference, anyway. We can’t stop her, but you can. {she looks directly at Sam}Sam: What… Me?Jessica: Death keeps notebooks of all the ways a person might die depending on their choices. Dean’s seen his.Dean: I gotta whole shelf.Jessica: But in Rowena McLeod’s notebook her death is always the same. She’s killed Sam Winchester… By you!

These “ripple effects” from things outside the natural order affecting the bigger picture? Gosh in retrospect don’t they sound like the sort of plotting Chuck has been arranging this entire time? I mean, taking this result of cosmic consequences into account, is it any wonder why Chuck’s endings so closely resemble Jessica’s description of “hitting the reset button?” A mass kill off, or like, you know, an apocalypse?

I’m… side-eyeing EVERYTHING Chuck has ever done to manipulate the story, to manipulate the universe into setting up his story, and the imbalances that have resulted. Once upon a time, Billie had blamed all of that on the Winchesters, but I think now she sees it’s been Chuck all along. And she’s a real stickler for the rules, even when it’s Chuck breaking the rules or making the rules, rewriting creation in real time to force his own story onto it instead of letting it happen on its own. Billie… is not a fan. :’D

(one last aside here to point out that Dean’s got a whole shelf of books, but Rowena is implied to only have the one… one that never changes… but this was before she actively decided to try and change her own fate… I wonder if her book changed with that choice… or if there might be another book now…)

[mrauthor3ds]

SSBU Canon Power Tier fixed

-= SOME EXPLANATIONS =-

Mario, Donkey Kong, Yoshi, Luigi, Peach, Bowser, Wario - These seven are the star children - people blessed with great power. So it makes sense to scale them with each other. Donkey Kong and Wario in particular have demonstrated feats correlating with moons, both small and big. So, it’s likely that the rest follow suit as well.

Link, Young Link, Toon Link - While Link may not have the same magical prowess as Zelda or Ganondorf, he can still hold his own against massive armies. Young Link and Toon Link, still being kids, are just a step behind him. I could put Young Link on Country-scale with adult-Link if we consider the Fierce Deity Mask, but it is a situational equip (only usable in major boss battles).

Kirby - If you ever doubted Kirby’s boundless power before, Planet Robobot straight-up describes him as having infinite power. This can well justify how he can scale up to just about ANY threat to planets or reality.

Fox, Falco, Wolf - I initially considered putting them in Peak-human, since they’re just pilots first and foremost. Then I remembered that there’s a bunch of different guns and explosives that they can use in Assault. So they get a pass in City-scale.

Ness, Lucas - These two were a couple of the trickiest to lock down. I know that Ness is granted power from the Earth itself, but we don’t see that power helping much against Giygas - so the power he received is still ambiguous. Lucas’s power was a little easier to get a grasp on, though. We know that he earns higher levels of PK Love as he unseals the Dark Dragon - a mysterious being that holds together the Nowhere Islands. They seem just big enough to be a country, so that’s the best lowball I can think of. Ness might be in a similar ballpark, since he and Lucas both contested evenly with Porky’s vehicles - and it’s implied that the one in Mother 3 is an improved model.

Captain Falcon - This is mainly based on the anime, where he seems to draw power from the Reactor Might, a cosmic fragment that he protects. While it doesn’t really make his punches planetary, the Falcon Punch we saw still gave off enough energy to suggest that his strength is in the megatons. Since Mario’s castle-punting feat has similar energy, I felt it best to put Falcon in Continent-scale as well.

Daisy, Diddy Kong, Bowser Jr. - These three aren’t star children like Peach, Donkey Kong, or Bowser. However, they’ve at least proven to keep up with the star children in their casual levels (Daisy even launched Bowser away once). So, Country-scale seems a reasonable place to put them.

Sheik - Why is Sheik in Country-scale when Zelda is in Continent-scale? Aren’t they the same? Well, yes. But the Sheik persona wasn’t just for concealing Zelda’s identity - it also concealed her power. So this is technically a self-imposed handicap on Zelda’s part.

Marth, Lucina, Roy, Chrom, Ike - Each one has led massive armies from the frontlines, and that’s besides wielding blessed weapons. It’s reasonable to believe that they can hold their own in battles against whole nations.

Mewtwo - I initially considered Planet-scale since it intended to spread a hurricane across the world. However, that hurricane didn’t spread fast enough to cause quite enough destruction, so its power is likely less than planetary.

Mr. Game & Watch - He supposedly represents all playable roles in the Game & Watch series. And most of these roles are of employed in high-risk zones - construction, deep-sea diving, even the military. While not canonically any Duon, he’s still clearly a tireless worker.

Meta Knight, King Dedede - Even though Kirby is in ?????, these two are in Planet-scale? Well, they can certainly keep up with Kirby’s own planet-busting strength and sometimes speed (Meta Knight can actually fly across the galaxy as fast as Kirby flies on his Warp Star), but they don’t have the same malleable power as he does. And, well, the day is typically only saved by Kirby’s hyper-adaptability.

Pit, Dark Pit - They’re certainly tough angels, but owe most of their successes to the powers and weapons granted by gods much stronger than they.

Pokémon Trainer - Wait, why is he ranked? Well, I figured I’d rank EVERY fighter available. And Pokémon Trainers in the main series show a great deal of superhuman stamina - falling long ways, traveling and biking tirelessly, going through very hazardous environments...No ordinary kid can manage all of that!

Sonic - I’m being kind of generous with this, as Sonic’s own strength and durability haven’t really stacked up to most other characters in the Continent tier. Though that is compensated most of the time by his Super Transformation - while it lasts, of course. Still, it can be hard to hit him when he pays attention, and he’s been able to compete neck-and-neck with Mario in the Olympics for the past 12 years. So I’d say this spot is secure for him.

Olimar - This tier was made JUST for him. And for Alph, too, but this Tiermaker didn’t have Alph, so...

Villager, Isabelle - They’re both in Peak-human mainly by how tirelessly they work.

Rosalina & Luma - The only other fighter in the ????? tier, and for good reason: Rosalina’s cosmic magic is unfathomable. She can pilot the Comet Observatory all across the galaxy, communicate with others from afar, and possesses strong telekinetic power. And that’s just part of what we know! She’s somehow lived for centuries, and together with the Lumas, they possibly have the power to restore destroyed galaxies! Her power couldn’t possibly be constrained to just planetary...!

Palutena - ...So why is Palutena in this category? Isn’t she a powerful goddess? Well, yes, but it’s implied that she’s among the weaker gods in the Kid Icarus world. We do see her capable of conjuring powerful storms and slinging around huge landmasses with her telekinesis, but nothing really suggests that her own power is planetary. In fact, all the other gods, by their own power, also rank at continental-scale at best...possibly.

Robin - Why is Robin a tier above the FE protagonists? Well, simple. Naga herself points out that Robin possesses the same power as Grima, even though he hadn’t succumbed to the Fell Dragon’s power. So, it’s reasonable enough to scale Robin’s full strength with Grima’s power - which, may I remind you, devastated the Archanean continent in the future.

Shulk - I may get some flak for this, but let me explain. Shulk used the combined power of three Monados - Zanza’s, Meyneth’s, and his own - to reshape his world. We know that much. But first, he had to combat Zanza, a being who essentially lorded over the world. Shulk’s Monado could match with Zanza’s Monado alone, sure. However, it also had the influence to neutralize the logic-manipulation of Zanza’s “godly defenses“. Still, this means that this Monado at least has the ability to bring down a mighty planetary being.

Corrin - Is it just because he’s an avatar character like Robin? Well, somewhat. It’s already stated early in the game that those that carry the blood of the First Dragons can easily handle whole armies on their own. That does sound like the other FE protagonists, but it goes further. Those with First Blood can influence the very land around themselves through Dragon Veins. Some can even wield divine weapons. In fact, Corrin’s Yato is believed to hold the power to devastate the world if misused - maybe its full power isn’t that ludicrous, but its Omega form is powerful enough to match with one of the First Dragons, Anankos (who can manipulate an entire dominion). And that’s not even bringing up Corrin’s dragon shapeshifting...

Joker - I’m gonna get a lot of hate for this, I bet...Anyway, this placement in Country-scale is based on his strongest Persona, Satanael, which serves as a counter to Yaldabaoth. However, while Yaldabaoth does merge the Metaverse into reality, we never see this extend beyond Japan. So while Yaldabaoth’s power - and in turn, Satanael’s - is great, nothing proves that it eclipsed the entire world. And even then, we only see Japan’s populace cheering on the Phantom Thieves (which triggers Arsene’s evolution into Satanael).

[yasuda-yoshiya]

Thoughts on Revolutionary Girl Utena

So, as a first step in my ongoing effort to detox from 800 episodes of card games and expand my anime horizons a little, I've spent the last month or so watching Utena. Wow, what a cool and fascinating series! It honestly felt to me like a really strikingly bold and subversive show even by today's standards, let alone for the time it was made. Having had some time to think on it, here are some tentative thoughts:

While I definitely enjoyed and felt engaged with this show the whole way through, I think the last few episodes were what really pulled it all together for me. Up to that point, I absolutely loved Utena and Anthy as characters and their relationship, and found the general surreal presentation and aesthetics of the show really consistently beautiful and intriguing in a way that made it always feel engaging to watch, but it also felt like a kind of episodic and disjointed show where the various characters' stories didn't really seem to connect with or impact each other in any meaningful way.

But the endgame of the series was where it really took me by surprise in how it went so far beyond what I would have expected! The way the show had been framed up until then, I was basically expecting the big finale to be about Utena definitively making the choice to be Anthy's "prince" and rejecting the role of the "princess" that Akio wanted to push on her - and I would still have really appreciated and admired the show even for that alone, for Utena's gender non-conforming presentation and relationship with Anthy being portrayed so positively in general and for the way her feeling pressured to be more like a "normal girl" was always so explicitly framed as the "wrong choice" by the narrative - but I felt like the show really took things a step further in not just upholding Utena's role as the prince but outright rejecting the prince/princess framework and the hierarchy of the dueling game system altogether. It felt like such a daring ending to me in the way it totally breaks down and reframes the whole premise of the series up to that point, and made me look at a lot of the characters and themes of the series in a whole new light! It honestly made me realise that I'd probably been projecting my expectations of this kind of story on Anthy in much the same way as Utena had, and it made the show end up feeling really intelligent and insightful to me in its willingness not just to overturn gender role expectations on traditional romantic narratives and flip the bird to heteronormativity (which it still absolutely does, and does very well), but also to really question and criticise the assumptions behind those narratives on a fundamental level.

And the more I think about the series since then, the more I feel like so much of the series' broader imagery and themes really clicks for me in that light? The whole system of dueling over the Rose Bride feels like a very apt metaphor for the way so much of mainstream society and media does present romantic love, as a struggle to "win" your ideal partner as proof of your self-worth and as a magic cure for all your personal unhappiness and insecurities, as a sort of contest where the “losers” who can’t “get” a partner look up at the “winners” with envy and resentment - and the way Akio ultimately pulls back the curtain on that system to reveal that the ideal castle that all those people were fighting to reach was just a false image he was projecting to them to serve his own ends, that their attempts to escape their insecurities and "revolutionise the world" through winning the duels were really just upholding and reinforcing the status quo, felt really powerful to me. While I was watching the show, a lot of the side characters and their subplots had sort of frustrated me at times with their frequent emphasis on unrequited love stories that felt really obviously shallow and unhealthy, but I felt like the last few episodes really successfully reframed a lot of that to me as a remarkably perceptive commentary on just how much those kinds of empty romantic ideals and societal conventions can constrain people and warp their individual potential on a systematic scale.

In that sense, I feel like I can really appreciate the show's portrayal of how even fundamentally decent people like Miki and Saionji can be warped by the system into people willing to objectify Anthy and fight to possess her as a way of alleviating their own insecurities, even when they wouldn't have been naturally inclined to be that kind of person, through the pressure of the people around them accepting it as the norm and the false promise of the ideal happiness waiting on the other side. How people like Wakaba and Keiko can be made to believe that happiness is impossible for them and to resent the people around them for "stealing their happiness away", because everything around them has led them to the subconscious belief that the only "happiness" out there is being noticed by a popular guy like Touga or Saionji. Even Utena, the one who most explicitly rejects the dueling system and specifically sets out to treat Anthy as a real person with her own autonomy, still ends up unconsciously projecting her own ideals on her and playing into the established system in the ways she goes about being her "prince", because the influence of those flawed ideals and norms is so deep and pervasive that it's almost impossible not to internalise some of it.

It feels like something I can definitely relate to as someone who absolutely did buy into a lot of that crap as a teenager and seriously hurt other people as a result - and while I did eventually manage to break out and see the toxicity of the system for what it was, it's also horribly easy for me to see how easy it must be for people to stay constrained by it and live out their whole lives without "breaking the world's shell", without even realising how the toxic assumptions they've inherited from "the world" are killing them and distorting the ways they interact with other people - how their attempts at escaping from their insecurities are hurting themselves and others, and ultimately just perpetuating the same system that's strangling them. Akio is a horrifying villain because the ways he insidiously manipulates and influences the people around him feel absolutely real - he's able to play to people's vulnerabilities and unexamined assumptions, to make them follow along with his script while keeping them always genuinely believing that they're making their own independent decisions and fighting for their own happiness and fulfilment. It's very hard to fight something that embeds itself on such a deep and unconscious level in people's basic assumptions and frameworks for viewing themselves and the world, where people don’t even see the ways it’s influencing them.

But I think Utena's ending feels very honest and hopeful in acknowledging that, while the system can't really be defeated or destroyed by individual people in any meaningful way, what people CAN do is make the decision to step outside it and not allow it to have power over them - and, hopefully, to inspire other people to be able to make that choice for themselves too. That part towards the end of the film where the other student council members came to the rescue and helped Utena and Anthy escape, wishing them well in the outside world - "We still haven't found our own way out yet, but we'll definitely get there some day" - honestly made me tear up a little! It really communicated a strong sense of hope to me in the idea that these kids might have made a lot of mistakes and still have a lot of growing up to do, but it's still possible for them to break free from Ohtori and everything it represents the same way Utena and Anthy did - that the present doesn't have to keep following the way of the past. It’s still possible for the next generation to escape it and leave it behind. The whole imagery around the film's ending - "it may be a world without roads, but we can build them" - felt really uplifting and beautiful to me as well; as ridiculously bizarre and surreal as the film was in a lot of ways, it felt like it capped off the series' themes really nicely.

All in all, I ended up feeling really fulfilled and satisfied with this show! It feels like a very deliberate series that's extremely conscious of everything it wants to do, and generally executes it well. I would say I probably didn’t really connect with a lot of the individual character arcs on a particularly deep level - Juri's resolution with that one guy who popped in completely out of nowhere felt particularly odd to me, and I wasn't a huge fan of Nanami or Touga either - but I think it really nailed the bigger picture in terms of its thematic project and the ideas it wanted to convey, and on the whole I feel like I just have a huge amount of respect for the things it had to say and the way it went about saying them. The whole imagery of the setting with the school as an isolated, self-contained world with its inhabitants unknowingly being overseen and controlled by Akio from his tower as "the highest place in this world" really feels like such a strong and vivid metaphor to me, and I honestly felt really impressed with just how perceptively and accurately the show manages to portray the subtleties of the various ways social and patriarchal pressures really do operate on people (and on young teenagers who are still figuring out how love and relationships work in particular). It's weird to say about such a surreal and often goofy series, but I honestly feel like I haven't seen a story that approaches those kinds of subjects with this kind of clarity, and I feel like this show's framework has honestly helped me to reexamine and better understand a lot of my own messy teenage experiences as well. Definitely a show whose whole feels like more than the sum of its parts for me, I think, and one that I expect is going to stick with me for quite some time!

[bloodybells1]

On Specialization

I’ve never been comfortable with the term “bassist”. This may sound peculiar coming from a bassist, though not so peculiar if you consider that, as Whitman famously wrote, “I am large, I contain multitudes.”

First, a word about the pecking order of a typical rock band: often, the singer is understood, rightly or wrongly, as occupying the top rung, while the bassist will often come last. The zeitgeist supports this claim. For example, in one episode of Just Shoot Me, Wendy Malick’s character, Nina Van Horn, brags about having laid the singer of a band the previous night, but spits out her water when she’s informed by more sober members of the party that it was in fact the bassist she’d slept with.

In the broadest sense of the term, a rock band is kind of like a layer cake. The singer occupies the top layer, with the other instruments on down. Flashy guitar leads and sexy lyrics (“Come here, baby,” and so on and so forth) take center stage, followed by the drums, slamming and banging like an army coming from behind.

And at last, at the bottom of the cake, the bass guitar, which, to the untrained ear, most often presents a barbaric, low-frequency drawl. Often it’s made even more unintelligible by the music hall’s cavernous reverb. The end result is that the casual listener begins calling the bass player “the other guy”.

When I was active as a professional musician, as the band Interpol’s bassist, I obsessed over this totemic arrangement. It was difficult to ignore how recessive I could become with this instrument around my shoulder.

So, when the band stumbled onto the good fortune of fame and success, when cameras and journalists trained their gaze on us, I compensated for this “imbalance” with sheer braggadocio. Onstage I impersonated Nikki Sixx, while backstage, in interviews, I dropped outlandish statements, the better to have my words show up as pull-quotes. Sealing my public relations push, I scheduled extracurricular activities, such as DJ’ing and, well, coitus, because, hello, it was rock music.

It seemed I’d pulled a switch, that ropes were cranking open an underwater gate, and, before I could finish saying “Cocaine”, an inner Poseidon was releasing the Kraken. It felt as though I couldn’t possibly sate my appetite.

This was a survival strategy, of sorts. I had to find some way to course correct for the imbalance, to prevent my ego from disappearing under the bass guitarist’s fate, the opaque destiny of the bottom rung. I was (and still am) too much a narcissist to endure the role of “filling in the blanks”. I needed more, much more.

Many a fine bassist is perfectly happy to fulfill the humble dispensation of their craft. The best of them are masters of understatement, achieving great notoriety among aficionados (John Paul Jones, for example). But, for better or for worse, I was too much of a diva for that. I’m not exactly proud per se that I’m a diva, but this shouldn’t stop me from being honest.

I suppose this is why I now bristle when someone calls me a “bassist”. The word registers to me as a reminder, not only of lowly status, but also of an embarrassing rebellion against that status, which time has demonstrated as the sign of narcissism, not to mention immaturity.

But the word also implies a degree of specialization with which I have never been comfortable. Jaco Pastorius was a bassist. Bernard Edwards, of Chic, was a bassist. Cliff Burton, of early Metallica, was a bassist. Among the living, Billy Sheehan, of David Lee Roth’s band and Mr. Big, is a bassist. I will even concede that the chief influencers of my bass playing, Peter Hook of Joy Division/New Order and John Taylor of Duran Duran, are bassists, in the truest sense of that word.

But I? I was a gifted musician and composer who came across the bass guitar by way of a college band that happened to take off. Afterwards, I simply used that talent for the less than sincere objectives noted above.*

I don’t disparage the life of specialization, nor those who’ve chosen it. If anything, I envy their attention span. Encountering satisfaction, and even success, following a single career track strikes me as patently wise, to say nothing of the karma of furthering the conversation in a certain field.

But I would hate to detract from the more esteemed practitioners of this instrument, those who clearly set out to make it their life’s work, by welcoming this appellation without the caveat I am writing here.

In anything, one can’t start from a weak place. Otherwise, the foundation is shabby, having begun from an inauthentic proposition. “This is what I should do” is deplorable. “This feels truthful to me” is the better course, no matter the cost, nor the risk. Playing the bass guitar, over and over again to the exclusion of other pursuits, just didn’t feel truthful to me.

At every step on the One Path of Specialization, my gaze would inevitably fall on the alleys and byways fanning out on either side. I’d feel a piece of my heart break every time. At the end of each day, having successively stranded one part of me, then another, I’d go to sleep feeling much less complete than in the morning.

This is no way to end the day. So, in order to preserve my sleep, I decided my curiosity was too important to ignore, that the greatest failure I could envision, for which there seemed to be no justification in permitting, was lying on my death bed wondering what lay under the stones I’d passed my whole life.

Naturally, taking action was an agony. Procrastination was the order of the day. It took years to make headway, years of worrying what would happen to me if I quit, of the deep regret I might encounter. My therapist at the time, listening to the 124th hour of my pretzel-twisting, finally said, “Carlos, you have the right to fuck up your life.” That was the narrative game changer I needed to hear, and I made my decision right then and there to leave Interpol and pursue training in other fields of interest, mainly acting, but also writing.

This isn’t to say I don’t experience regret, agonizing distress even. How often have I stopped for a latte at the local café, overheard myself playing bass guitar through the speakers, and rued the impetuous decision to leave behind such glorious specialization! It’s the height of confusion to taste blessed freedom and bitter mediocrity in the same quaff.

But then I think of two of my heroes, who support their rejection of specialization with an ironic philosophical outlook.

Stephen Fry, on a recent airing of Sam Harris’ podcast Making Sense, explained to his host how he was able to produce the astonishing breadth of his oeuvre – novels, TV appearances, comedy specials, productions of Shakespeare, documentary films, influential tweets – with a humble confession: “Without sounding over paradoxical, it may be a result of having no particular talent.”

Henry Rollins, the punk rocker emeritus, admitted to as much on the multimedia web portal, Big Think, when he said, “I don’t have talent, I have tenacity . . . I have discipline, I have focus.” TV show host, lead singer, travel documentarian, actor, spoken word artist, writer, publisher, Rollins is not so much a great artist as a great “artwork of himself”. He exemplifies the truth that the sum total of mediocre talents equals a net gain of life excellence.

I always like to say: “There’s nothing wrong with being a jack of all trades, for the adage is incorrect: yes, you’d be master of none except that of being a jack of all trades.”

Thomas Jefferson’s epitaph reads: “Author of the Declaration of Independence [and] of the Statute of Virginia for religious freedom & Father of the University of Virginia." Notice the absence of his eight years as our third president. “Author of the Declaration” is certainly no secret, but the other two are generally not well known. Clearly, he was making a statement, despite what historians might prefer to emphasize, of what was truly deserving of remembrance.

Hedy Lamarr, a talented and beautiful mid-century Hollywood star, also co-invented a radio guidance system for Allied powers in World War II that Bluetooth technology incorporates today. August Strindberg, the dean of Swedish drama, was also an influential painter whose subjective landscapes, like the astonishing Wonderland from 1894, were ahead of their time.

Don’t get me started on Al Franken.

Rejecting specialization, because it affords multiple avenues and narratives, is a roundabout way to attain control, and therefore, if he’s feeling constrained, a control freak’s preferred modus operandi. What you lose in the area of expertise, you gain in control over the conversation, for at no point do you involve yourself so much as to permit outside narratives to latch (or leech) on to your pursuits.

At a certain point, I realized that my rockstar posturing in Interpol had an expiration date, past which it would be cute no longer, not to mention hazardous to my health and the emotional wellbeing of my colleagues. The history of rock music presents copious examples of this sequence of events.

But I still needed control. Therefore, I chose to reject the specialization of a successful career as a bassist.

Differences in career objectives meant that I would eventually have to leave the band. Of course there were other factors, more personal than I’m choosing to write here. I will cover that part in other entries. But the need to retain control of my own conversation, along with the desire to achieve that control through a kind of diaspora of artistic pursuits, is salient nonetheless.

I’ll close with a bit of a Marxist riff. Specialization is a capitalist construct (and I mean that with all the opprobrium that statement must sound like it’s making). Its origins lie in the Agricultural Revolution, the first time human labor was ever divided on a large scale, and the Industrial Revolution, which automated that division, created incredibly precise specialization, and amplified the labor force beyond anything previously imaginable.

This has given birth to a fetishization of “expertise” that has pervaded almost every industry. Today, we often ask someone we just met “What do you do?” One of the chief faults I could lay on modernity’s doorstep would be that this question, among all others, does indeed, sadly, provide the fastest track to a person’s core identity. “Trust the experts” sounds eminently advisable. People distrust non-experts the way they distrust when someone’s thoughts evolve, branding them as inconsistent, therefore untrustworthy.

But this is all optics. We are inculcated to believe in the unhindered progress of Capital and this presumes labor, specifically specialized labor, to fulfill its mandate. This makes us suspicious of those who do not specialize. We want someone to stand still, and “be someone”, meaning “be a specialist” in this, that, or some other thing. But this suspicion holds only if you truly believe that the end all of human civilization is the progress of Capital, a belief I am sure most readers, hopefully, at the least, of this blog, reject.

*There is an interplay between sincerity and artifice that permeates rock music, but I don’t wish to get into that here. Suffice it to say for the time being, that there are instances when a rock band suffers extraordinary reputational costs when pursuing a “sincere” style, and this happens, in my opinion, because rock music, in amplifying lifestyle, spectacle, and fashion, is inherently a post-modern art form akin to Pop Art and Dadaism, and therefore more ironic than sincere. This explains why it is so easy to make fun of Coldplay. But I’ll spare the reader the musicology lesson for another time. Yet, I write this to mitigate, perhaps only slightly, the disingenuousness of my “insincerity” as a bassist.

[rhetoricandlogic]

The Garden of Lost and Found - Harriet Evans

Harriet Evans' new book The Garden of Lost and Found is an epic read at over 500 pages. It is a dual timeline story with two distinct narratives but the characters are connected through family and a painting that held many spellbound when it was first painted and exhibited to the world. The painting entitled The Garden of Lost and Found is a key feature in this book almost like a character in itself and it forms the backbone to this story around which everything else flows. The book starts off very very slowly and really does take some time to find its direction. Persistence is the key here, once you make it through the first half of the book things really do start to become much more clearer and I was glad I kept going with it. For there were times I felt like stopping and leaving it and I have never felt this way about this authors books before. But once I reached the halfway mark things really did take it off and I felt the second half more than made up for the first and I became much more engrossed in the overall story as things became apparent and endless twists and turns arose which kept me intrigued.

Family dynamics, motherhood and the way we are raised form the major themes of this book. The contrast between our two main female characters are many yet there are similarities to be found too. The brief prologue is interesting and really does set the scene for what is to unfold over many pages. Famous artist Ned Horner has just burned his most prominent work which held such special significance for his wife given she has endured such loss and hardship. She is torn in two, how could her husband do this as it is the last remaining link to her children? It is a graceful, magnificent and special moment captured at Nightingale House - two children playing in the garden while their mother sits indoors writing at a desk. What drove Ned to do this?

In the present day art historian Juliet Horner, the great granddaughter of Ned and Liddy, sees a sketch of the original painting come up for sale. But what intrigues her even more is when she receives a letter with a key. She is now the owner of Nightingale House which she finds surprising considering the last few years of estrangement from her grandmother Stella. What secrets are enshrined in the house and can Juliet be the one to uncover them? Is the time right for her to move or is it fate considering the sad state of her marriage to Matt and the discovery she will soon make? Juliet feels that things are all wrong and that she has messed up and that her family is spiralling out of control. A leap of faith is made, one which will test her and throw up many surprises and difficulties. She knows unless she takes this step and embraces the opportunity presented to her than her children will continue to suffer. A break with the chain is needed and I was ever so glad when she left Matt and brought the children Bea, Isla and Sandy to Nightingale House. I thought there would have been a lot of digging in the past by Juliet in order to discover what actually did happen to the painting considering she had such a feeling of unfinished business when it came to the house. Instead for the majority of the book, the focus turned more on her relationship with her children and how she could break down the barriers especially with Bea. Bea was a wonderfully written character such thought went into creating her and her frustrations, hesitations and her traumas were dealt with so well. She was confused, hurt and exploring her way in the world and it was brilliant to have a young character with such complex issues. If only Juliet could see beyond her own personal problems and reach out to her daughter but at times I thinks he was too caught up in her own world to see what was going on around her. Now was the time for her to fix her faults and become the woman who she wanted to be instead for someone who was lost. She needed to engage with her children and understand them better and then maybe other things would fall into place. As one line in the book said 'The future is yet unwritten. The past is burnt and gone'. I hoped Juliet would heed this advice and whilst doing so also delve a little bit into the past because some of the answers there might very well help her in the future. Juliet, to me, proved to be a frustrating character who always needed a shoulder to cry on and I didn't think she was always strong and able to get up and get motivated and change her fortunes and her family relationships and dynamics herself but maybe she was too constrained by her recent past and coming to Nightingale House would hopefully free her from the shackles she had become encased in. In order to gain a deeper insight into Lydia and how a major life changing event came to feature in the prologue we are taken back to May 1891. Lydia lives with her sister Mary, brother Pertwee and their father. They lost their mother to small pox and now a family nanny has taken over the role of bringing them up. Lydia is a free spirit yet all the siblings are haunted by the loss of their mother. It doesn't help that things in the family home are not the way they should be. What follows are harsh and harrowing scenes and at times they were very difficult to read. I couldn't understand how certain things were allowed to happen. It all just seemed so evil and cruel. Lydia was resilient but deeply affected by her experiences and going against convention and order as we follow her over several years her life changes when she meets and is able to marry struggling artist Ned Horner. We follow the pair over many years and it allows the reader to make comparisons and connections with Juliet in the present day. There is an awful lot that unfolds with Lydia and the timespan in which we follow her journey is quite long. She is brought to nothing time and time again and her marriage is complicated and life has many challenges, disappointments and heartbreak in store for her. But as I have mentioned I always questioned what was the big connection to the present day? Would there be shocking reveals and twists and turns? There were but it, as the story, was so slow in getting going I did think was a lot of the first half relevant and could it have been condensed down a bit? The Garden of Lost and Found is a real character driven story and the author really takes the time to present detailed descriptions of the characters, their thoughts, motivations and feelings. Don't expect surprises and thrills with every turn of the page that's saved more for the last quarter or so. In fact right up until the last two pages there was even more being revealed which I thought was just too rushed given the length of the book and how long it had taken us to reach the point of discovery. The tying up of loose ends seemed abrupt and it was as if the author had forgotten one or two things she wanted to mention and felt the need to get them in right up until the last paragraph. The Garden of Lost and Found is a very good book and you will be rewarded for your patience but in my opinion it is just too long and needed to be shortened. There seemed to be endless pages of narrative before the point was actually made where a paragraph or two would have sufficed. I thought things became bogged down in the first half and I found it challenging to see where the story was trying to go. Don't get me wrong, I love dual timeline stories especially ones which delve into the past and I like this new direction Harriet Evans is going in which is very different to her earlier books but here although there was something magical, alluring and captivating about the overall story and its themes it wasn't always quite pulled off given its length. The Garden of Lost and Found is a compelling book but its one which needs all of your attention. I was glad I continued on with it as the discoveries that followed more than made up for the first half.

[thepropertylovers]

Feature Friday with Jeremy Scott

Happy Friday! In this week’s FF, we get to know Jeremy on a deeply personal and vulnerable level. He opens up about his fear of coming out because he was afraid of being judged - by the gay community. He discusses the importance of mental health, living your truth, and what made him finally decide to come out. We came away from this with our eyes opened wider than before and a fresh, new perspective. We believe you will have a lot of takeaways from Jeremy’s intelligent, inspiring words. Take a look below to see what we mean…

Where are you from? I’m from Baltimore County, Maryland.

Where do you live? I’m currently attending medical school in Knoxville, TN but will be moving back home to study for my Step 1 board exam. Then I will be traveling for my clinical rotations. I’m going to be a bit of a nomad for a little while.

Instagram handle: @jpscott09

Age: 31

On cute little mountain towns: Bariloche, Argentina is my favorite place of all time that I’ve travelled! It’s this beautiful mountain town, and whether you’re into skiing, hiking or just walking around shopping and eating, there are gorgeous mountains all around, with crystal clear water and green forests. In town there’s this incredible candy shop, named Mamushka, that is plucked right out of a scene from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory!

“But I am the sum of ALL of my parts, not the convenient choosing of a few. I can’t control what people see or choose to focus on when they look at me, discuss my accomplishments, etc. I can only live and shine in my truth; that will have to be enough. “

On an uneventful, but meaningful coming out: I’ve always known I was gay and that my family and friends knew as well. I had a gay uncle and have cousins that are gay and lesbian. After hearing an interview by a mom of one of the victims of the Orlando Nightclub shooting, I finally had a sit-down conversation with my mom. It was easy and uneventful and took place sitting in my Mom’s bathroom while she irrigated my clogged ear. I also sandwiched our conversation between reveals of my latest tattoos. She was more shocked about my tattoos than my coming out - my being gay was an unspoken fact, but the tattoos were brand new! And that’s how I said it, as if it were a statement, to my mom and any other family member or friend. I’m gay. It wasn’t an invitation for questioning or discussion, it was a statement of MY truth, that, understandably might take some time to comprehend and digest, but won’t change. I didn’t want anyone close to me to think I was ashamed of being gay just because I hadn’t said the words aloud. Silence allows for the creation of a false narrative, and I didn’t want there to be one surrounding something that makes me human, unique and worthy of love and belonging. 

On being comfortable within the gay community: It was fear of being accepted into the gay community that kept me from coming out sooner. I was overweight in my early 20s, and looking at images of the guys that frequented P Town or Fire Island, Barry’s Bootcamp or Soul Cycle made me hesitant to even believe that I’d be accepted - I was the ‘fat theater science nerd’ juxtaposed to the cool good-looking guys. It is worth mentioning that even though the gay community is a marginalized one, there exists a judging or shaming of its members. For example, placing character attributes or implicit biases and monikers such as “gold star, dairy queen, top, or bottom.” Individuals hide behind the term “preference,” to express their predilections when really, it’s a way to justify homogenizing social groupings or dating prospects. We can say it’s due to wanting to be around similar people, with a related background or potential shared experiences, but when did doing that help us grow or better ourselves? I’ve just now, over the past two/three years, gotten comfortable within the gay community, having accepted my flaws while championing my uniqueness; I’ve moved from a timid outsider to the curious and open wanderer.

On the importance on having an ally, and learning from life’s obstacles: Prior to having my “official” sit down with my family and close friends, I was outed by a classmate. We got into an argument one night, and, even though we agreed to keep everything quiet, he got into a taxi with some of our mutual friends and told them that we had been together and gave intimate details about us “hooking up.” I learned about what he had done because a friend just happened to be in the taxi that night. She will forever be someone I hold close to my heart, for many reasons, but because in that moment, she showed me the definition of true friendship- an ally against hurtful and potentially damaging hate speech and a source of support and understanding. I still think she was more bothered by the event than me. I, however, wasn’t even mad and still am not. That was a noteworthy moment that I draw strength from because at that time, I realized I was fully accepting of myself as gay and didn’t care who knew. As for moving forward from this situation and continuing on with my life, I viewed this as any other hurdle or obstacle and haven’t let it define me. I learned the lesson I was meant to learn- I dealt with forgiveness and am proud of the person I am because of it.

On the importance of “marble jar friends”: I am incredibly fortunate for the people I have in my life that I call friends and family. We are born into a family but as we grow and mature as adults, we have the ability to choose the individuals that make up our inner circle. My “marble jar friends,” as Brené Brown calls them, are as diverse in thought as they are in their cultural and ethnic backgrounds. These are the people that want for me what they want in themselves; to be seen, heard, and know I matter.

On living his truth, despite what others think: My family and friends have been nothing but supportive, and most conversations center around if I’m dating (yes, I’m single) and when I intend on getting married. The little backlash I have received has been mostly from members of the Black community. A few black professionals have messaged and said that, “I’ve disqualified any future accomplishments I will achieve as a part of the medical community because the only thing people will see me as is a gay black man.” I vehemently disagree with their statements, but understand that in the Black community there’s still a stigma about being gay. Some individuals would rather stay on “the down low,” as if openly being gay hurts the black male professional diaspora. But I am the sum of ALL of my parts, not the convenient choosing of a few. I can’t control what people see or choose to focus on when they look at me, discuss my accomplishments, etc. I can only live and shine in my truth; that will have to be enough.  

“Silence allows for the creation of a false narrative, and I didn’t want there to be one surrounding something that makes me human, unique and worthy of love and belonging.“

On the role of the medical community when it comes to LGBTQ healthcare: The medical community has a responsibility to educate, care for, and provide adequate healthcare to the LGBTQ community, which includes promoting PrEP. I think it starts with the family practitioner, the physician that sees a patient from childhood into adulthood, to not view heterosexuality as the default. Asking a patient, “Are you sexually active? With men, women, or both?” gives permission for an answer not constrained by judgment or preconceived notions but of openness and vulnerability. As a future healthcare provider, I have a duty to stay educated and advocate for my patients. I know that my experience is unique and has left me poised to reach a population of patients that may not feel like their needs are met or their voice heard by healthcare professionals. I will take my role seriously and do my best to make sure that every individual has access to healthcare that best addresses their needs and concerns.

On destigmatizing mental health: The best thing I ever did was decide to go to therapy. I’ve consistently seen Shannon, my therapist, over the past two years. There’s still a great deal of stigma surrounding mental health, as if you should be ashamed to take an introspective look at yourself, your relationships, and those around you. If anyone has looked at #foreignfriday on a Radiologist’s Instagram, trust me when I say there’s nothing you have to be embarrassed about sitting and talking to a therapist. Sometimes we need to develop strategies on how to handle our emotions or triage a situation with respect to what needs and deserves our attention first. And sometimes we just need to vent our frustrations in a safe objective space. Whatever the reason, stability and strength starts from within and you’ll be eternally grateful for taking the necessary steps to ensuring both when you prioritize your mental health.

On living in the south: Living down south has taught me the importance of communication and understanding. We can’t ask of others things we can’t or don’t ask of ourselves, and we need to be open to having tough conversations with people of differing views and opinions. Where I might not feel comfortable walking down the street holding my husband’s hand down here, I have really embraced the old saying “you can’t judge a book by its cover.” Even after living on a Caribbean island where it is STILL illegal to be homosexual, I’ve never been this aware of my blackness and being gay. But I’ve challenged myself to look past the differences that divide us and seek the aspects of our humanity that bring us closer together. I’ve fallen in love with a guy from Knoxville and had my heart broken as well. I’ve been able to foster and find community through service and the running community. I’ve grown and am a better person for having lived down here.

On his biggest inspirations: I’m a huge Brené Brown fan-she’s my spirit guide. Her work over the years has guided me through so many unexpected turns and over impossible hurdles. Her work, along with my friends and family, whose voices have been louder than my own in times of doubt, have kept me going. I don’t know where I’d be without them, and there aren’t enough words to explain what their love means to me.

[sovinly]

Thoughts on Eowyn?

Oh man, so many thoughts! Thank you so much, you are EXCELLENT. Here goes!

(Tumblr ate my answer andI accidentally copied over my copy of at 50-60% of it, so I am RETYPING ALL OFTHIS)

Éowyn is one of my top favorite characters, and always hasbeen, for many reasons.

I loved that there was this… cold, fucked-up woman who wasstriving for a heroic end because it was a satisfying conclusion. Because shewanted to have worth.

Like… here, we have this woman who is stern and capable andhas lost so much, her parents and hercousin to death, her brother to banishment, her uncle to sorcery. There is theservant of a sorcerer in the king’s hall (and with the absence of her mother,her aunt, an older sister, a female cousin, herhall in part by rights) and she cannot do anything about it.

She desires Aragorn not just because he recognizes her, butbecause he offers leverage – not just to keep her from ever being so powerlessagain, but for her kingdom. Because her kingdom is besieged, falling, stillstumbling in the ruin of attacks by a powerful enemy (and with a more powerfulenemy lurking behind him, whom they have spurned), because the king is aging,the heir is dead, and her brother is banished. Because he is wise and good andknows her lands.

And he only offers her pity and understanding and it hurts, even if pity isn’t used in theway we use it now, not because it’s hurt feelings but because she wants to beequal. She wants to be cared for. She wants somany things, and because she thinks she can’t have anything, all she canwant is death.

(I’m so disappointed by the way the movies treat her,honestly. She’s stripped of so much agency and context, she becomes hollow andsuffering, and her pain, not her fierce and burning desire take up muchof the story. She’s painted as naïve and honestly pretty selfish in a lot ofplaces, and it’s so frustrating.Because, in Irish and Norse myth, and so subsequently in Rohirric culture, herheroic aspirations have context and value; her cool capability and frustrationhas a thousand echoes. And they go “Nah, mate, she’s a Sad Lady with Many TearyExpressions who Just Wants to Fight but only because she Doesn’t Understand [Love].”I feel, actually, that the fundamental letdown of the films is theirunwillingness to allow for nobility: many secondary and tertiary characters whoare there as foils are stripped of their nobility and gentleness and it’s… ugh,it’s really frustrating. They’re still fun adaptations and good cinema, but thatpart makes me so sad.)

Okay now for a cut, because this ended up being 2k of Feelings, and that’s a lot:

Anyway, Éowyn is competent and capable and wise, but she isangry and exhausted and in so much pain. By rights, why shouldn’t she have aplace on the battlefield? So she goes, and she fights, and she doesn’t die. It would have beenperfectly narratively satisfying, however tragic, if she had, but she doesn’t. Sheis proud and noble and wise, and she earns her place in the halls of herforefathers, but she lives. She livesand she resents it.

Her pain is as legitimized by the narrative as any otherhero’s. The darkness hanging over her, not just the shadow of the enemy but theshadows of isolation and helplessness and depression and PTSD, is not madelight of. She struggles to make sense of her place in the world when she feels shouldbe dead, or dying in the subsequent battles. And it’s alright that for her,healing isn’t about rest, or even kindness, or idle, quiet contemplation.

She’s allowed to be restless and frustrated and desolate. It’sallowed, that she finds herself again through connections and friendships andconversation. Through walking and experiencing and chafing still at all therestraints placed on her. Éowyn is so tired of restraints, is as stubborn and indomitableas any male hero who does his best to abandon bedrest. Her desire to help, to rideto glory and honor, is not a bad thing.The desire to be heroic and recognized is not a bad thing. (She already is: the irony is how little she sees it.)

But she realizes that it isn’t the only thing. And shedecides to heal.

I see… a lot of conversation about how Éowyn is lessened by herending, that her desire to heal and grow and not die a vainglorious death issomehow sexist. But I really don’t think it is, at all. Not just because itgave me hope: hope to see someone recover from such aching, intimate desire tobe done with the world. Hope to seeher find recognition and companionship and more than anything else understanding.

It’s because the hands of the king are the hands of ahealer, we see it over and over again, are told it is the mark of a just and true ruler, and I don’t think it’s a mistakethat we see those lines in such close proximity to Éowyn too. Narratively,Éowyn is as valued, is as upright and distant and wise as any of the maleheroes, and her declaration tells us explicitly that she reaches that same pinnacle of worthiness. It isn’t because shefought, or because she killed the Witch King, or because she was willing to diefor her king, or because she decided that she didn’t want to pursue death: it’sbecause of all those same heroic qualities and that she decides she doesn’tsimply want glory or death or to be the vanguard of the enemy’s death, shedecides that she wants to build and heal and better the world that has curtailed so much of her.

(And her appointment with Faramír to the reparation ofIthilien, and the appendices, make it further clear that this is what we’re being told.)

Let’s move, though, for a moment, into some of the stuffthat I didn’t really have the context for when I was reading these books as akid.

So, my woman Carol Clover (I love herrrrrrrr and her work onboth Icelandic sagas and film analysis is SO GOOD she is SO SMART

Which, obviously, there is some… very sexist andmisogynistic stuff underlying these traditions (Jóhanna Katrín Friðriksdóttir,who is also amazing, talks about the romance sagas and how the shield-maidensand specifically the maiden-kings are… horrifically punished for holding powerand authority, thaaaanks changing social values and continental influence, butanyway). But the thing is, these traditions of women carrying power and takingon these roles, is there, both in the influential source material and in thetexts.

Culturally, narratively, Éowyn has every right to want to goto war for her realm, especially at the start of her appearance in thenarrative. Her father is long-dead, her cousin and near-brother has been slainby their long-standing enemies, her brother is banished, and her uncle the kinghas been ensnared by sorcery (which comes with its own Irish and Nordicbaggage, honestly). And then these strangers come and restore the hall of theking and then war looms. So Éowyn goes to war, disguises herself and picks uparms, and notable, this is important, noone notices or says anything, which I have to imagine to be culturallyimportant.

So Éowyn rides to war. She fulfills every heroic narrativeand role and she is proven right. Sheis there and because she is a woman, not despite it, she slays the Witch Kingand fulfills prophecy, and she is right.Because of her kind wisdom, Merry is there to strike a devastating blow and anancient blade, and she is right. Sheis right to go, because she defendsher uncle and king from defilement and dishonor when no one else can. Heractions, her near-sacrifice, mean that Théoden is able to speak once more withMerry, with Éomer (and so to formally pass on and endorse his kingship, whichis important).

Éowyn is of the line of Eorl, satisfies in every way andmanner the narrative of the Rohirric hero, earns beyond doubt her grace andglory and renown. She closes the gaps in killing the Witch King, in defendingthe king, in bringing Merry to the battle. The narrative validates her: she isindeed a great and worthy hero, has done deeds beyond telling and compare, herpresence is right.

But her death isn’t. Her diminishment isn’t. So she lives,and struggles, and tries to figure out how to be a person who has lived pastthe end of the tale.

There’s a lot, too, in how Tolkien communicates heroism anddescribes worthiness – a lot to unpack, and I don’t really have time to do thathere. The point is… the point is that Éowyn is exceptional, but she is alsohuman. She’s allowed to be human. And that humanity, that sadness anddesperation and suicidal impulse and desire to be valued and seen and worthy, that struggle to cope and keep going,that drive to find refuge in conversation and conviction and moving and doing…it’s important. It’s so important.

Éowyn’s story has always resonated with me. Éowyn has alwaysresonated with me. I won’t go much into her relationship with Faramír, becausethis question wasn’t about him, but that resonates with me too. Here are twohurt, tired people who have been through so much, not just the poison of theenemy but the traumas of human existence. Here are two people who thinkthemselves worth very little, who have been constrained and shoved aside, buthere are their convictions. Here is their nobility and their wisdom and graceand fierceness, here is their kindness and their striving and their hope. Hereare two people, who are exceptionally good,even if they don’t know it.

It isn’t just that Éowyn is the embodiment of a mythictrope, or a twist on it. It’s not just that she’s a female characterappropriately placed in the narrative who evades so many shitty, awfulstereotypes and misunderstandings. It’s not just that she’s complex andinteresting.

It’s that she was so fucking sad and so trapped, by suicidal impulse and social constraints, andshe did the right thing, she did amazingthings anyway. It’s that I cried when I first (and subsequently) read theReturn of the King, because I didn’t think she would live. I didn’t think heremotions would be wrestled with. I didn’t think she would get to heal. “Thenthe heart of Éowyn changed, or else at last she understood it,” and I havenever recovered from that line, because that’s it. That’s it.

It’s that one of my clear sense memories is sprawling halfin the doorway of my childhood closet, the afternoon sun filtering down ontothe plain carpet, and sobbing my heart out because I had hope. There was hope, because of Éowyn, because of that chapter,and I hadn’t known that I could hopeto survive the isolation and the strictures and the loneliness and my owndistant, cold heart. Because I knew I would cling to that, in the years tocome, and I did. I still do. Éowynand her story are burned deep in my heart and my blood and it chokes me,sometimes, that hope. That healing, even when I am healing.

It’s that here was this fantasy, this epic tale, and it wasfull of hope and nobility and sadness (not just tragedy, plain human sadness),and I found myself there. It found me.

So, yeah.

I love Éowyn a lot, and I think I’m due a reread, now.

[snowbellewells]

Knight in Training

Here comes another little one shot written looking into possibilities for Season 5 as we awaited it (and the trip to Camelot!) the summer before.  There’s some Captain Cobra, some Henry and grandpa Charming, some Captain Charming, and some fun with a Knight of the Round Table (They didn’t turn out quite how I imagined them!).  Emma is not actually in this one either, though she is their focus and certainly on all of their minds…  Next week, I’ll do some fics from seasons five and six (even though the show will technically be over and many of them were posted on Tumblr back when I first began). I’ve had a lot of fun with this reminiscing and didn’t want to stop quite yet.  Hope none of you will mind!

 Enjoy!

“Knight in Training”

by: @snowbellewells  (TutorGirlml on ff.net)

           “On guard, Sir Knight,” Henry bows as he speaks, just as he has been taught, his voice steady and bold.  It reminds Killian and his grandpa Charming, who watch from the side of the practice ring, just how much the young man has matured in the past few months since Emma has been gone.  As if Henry hadn’t already been growing like a reed, coming up past both his mothers’ shoulders and his child’s voice gradually deepening, it is now obvious in his very bearing and the hard won wisdom in his youthful gaze.

           They are standing in the shadow of King Arthur’s famed castle in Camelot, and the young prince, son of both the Evil Queen and the Savior, is facing off against Sir Bedivere of the Round Table in a friendly practice bout.  The tall behemoth of a man is considered one of the best with a blade Arthur has at his disposal – after only Lancelot and Gawain – yet he has also proved kindly and welcoming to the newcomers in his ruler’s kingdom seeking Merlin.  Though he would not have had to show such hospitality, nor take of his own time to help them acclimate to this realm and entertain them as they wait for some sign of Emma, Merlin, or the next step on their quest, Bedivere has done so.  It hasn’t taken long for Henry to take a liking to this gentle giant either. Emma’s son, with his love of the classic tales and awe over valiant heroes, has befriended each of Arthur’s knights in turn upon meeting them.  Still, the boy seems especially fond of gallant, soft spoken but wise, Bedivere.

The man’s strength and skill have proven the perfect thing to distract Henry from missing his mother and growing ever more worried the longer they have no course of action or any way to find out how Emma is.  Taking up the lessons David had started with his grandson long ago, Henry blossoms under the tutelage of an actual knight of the Round Table, proving as quick and agile as Killian himself, the pirate thinks ruefully as he watches their scrimmage.  He is also as resourceful, daring, and scrappy as his street smart mother. Killian wonders briefly if Henry will eventually pass the success as a fighter of both his former princely teacher and his current tutor.  The more he sees, the more the Captain feels that – if the situation called for it desperately enough – Henry would be willing to scrap the courtly manners that constrain both his grandfather and the knight and fight dirty if he must – as he himself would, and as Emma would too, for that matter.

           Still, Bedivere proves a worthy adversary – despite his traditional methods and style.  Thrusting forward on the offensive, he pushes Henry back once more, managing the balance between challenging the novice swordsman yet not threatening the young man’s safety, thoroughly impressing Killian as he observes. He is equally thrilled to see the natural aptitude his Swan’s boy possesses, and Henry’s confidence growing. Right before their eyes, bringing the pirate back to the present, Henry swiftly launches his own assault.  Having only retreated a few steps, the youth charges forward, slashing a strong blow across the knight’s blade and countering Bedivere’s attack.

           The much larger man rears back for a moment, truly taken by surprise, and then nods encouragement, clearly pleased with his pupil. He swings his heavy broadsword once more.  This time, however, Henry is clearly ready and not willing to relinquish his advantage. He doesn’t step back, but instead dodges, then dips, still traveling forward, but sliding effortlessly to a knee and striking upwards, under the thrust of the grown knight’s weapon.

           Charming whoops in delight at seeing his grandson score a point so definitively, proceeding to tap the point of his sword on the chest plate of Bedivere’s armor before he stands and resets to start again. Killian simply cannot stop the broad grin he feels splitting his face wide with unrestrained glee.  That move was not only skillful and effective; it bucked traditional form and decorum, and it was more than a bit reckless. Henry had made a true pirate strike if Killian ever saw one, and it gives the Captain a ridiculous amount of reassurance to see Henry willing to do what he must to survive.  He will need that with the danger in his world and the family to which he belongs.

           It is just then that they hear Regina’s voice ring out over the courtyard, calling them in to wash up for the evening meal, her tone brooking no refusal.  Killian knows the former villainess had hesitated to let Henry take up sword fighting practice in the first place, and they also know better than to antagonize her, no matter how much she has reformed herself.  Glancing up the rolling hill to the drawbridge where Regina stands, Roland Hood at her side, clutching to her skirts and gazing up at her adoringly, they wave to let her know they’ve heard and bring Henry’s lesson to a stop.  

           “We’d better not keep everyone in the dining hall waiting, guys,” David says good naturedly, hopping down from his seat on the fence, and beckoning them to follow with the assured grace of the ruler he is.

           Bedivere and Henry bow to each other and sheath their blades. As they turn, however, Killian sees the invigorated glint of exertion and pride in Henry’s eyes.  The lad’s brown gaze sweeps across and connects with Killian’s mischievously, grinning as if he knows what his mother’s True Love is thinking.  Perhaps that bit of piracy his Emma possesses has been passed on to her son.  Henry winks as if he has heard every word Killian thought, nods his head in the Captain’s direction, and dashes ahead of them up to the castle.  

           As he follows, Killian cannot help feeling a bit of a spring in his own step.  That glimmering look of triumph and just a bit of naughty fun on Henry’s face had been all Swan.  The lad reminds him more of Emma with every passing day; the more he gets to know the young prince, the more it holds true.  Emma’s boy is quite the plucky fighter, and that serves to give the pirate hope. Henry carries that spark of fire from his mother, and somewhere out there, Killian has to believe that his love is still fighting as well, still holding on until they can see her again.

***One last author’s note: I wasn’t sure which knight to have befriend Henry and continue his sword training, but when I started researching the different knights of Arthur’s circle, Bedivere stood out as a very interesting choice.  Not only is he often written as the one who eventually threw Excalibur back into the lake as Arthur was taken to Avalon, but he was looked at as one of Arthur’s best fighters and most loyal followers. Though I didn’t know a lot about him, and we certainly don’t hear of him as much as ones like Lancelot, Percival, etc.  He is also often described as being exceptionally tall, strong, handsome, and interestingly enough, one-handed – just like a certain dashing pirate we all know and love.  I was hoping to work that into the story in some way but it just wouldn’t fit smoothly in the one shot I ended up with.  As it turned out, we didn’t get to see Bedivere on the show, but that’s how he got the supporting role in this little piece!

Tagging a few folks who might like this: @whimsicallyenchantedrose @kmomof4 @hollyethecurious @linda8084 @jackieorioncat @jennjenn615 @drowned-dreamer @laschatzi @ilovemesomekillianjones @spartanguard @revanmeetra87 @branlovesouat @searchingwardrobes @celestial-fire-writer @bmbbcs4evr @capswantrue @psymplemind @ohmakemeahercules

[jmsa1287]

In the Ballroom Culture Drama 'Pose,' Stars are Born

Hello! I wrote about the upcoming new FX series “Pose,” which explores the drag ballroom scene of the 80s and was co-created by Ryan Murphy.

A scene from “Pose.” Photo credit: FX

It's hard to write about "Pose," the new drama about '80s ballroom culture debuting Sunday on FX, without discussing the story around the show.

"Pose" made headlines last year when its co-creator Ryan Murphy (one of the most prolific showrunners today, known for co-creating "American Horror Story," "American Crime Story," "Feud," "Glee," and much more) revealed the series will have one of the biggest casts of transgender actors and LGBTQ people of any scripted TV show. Ever. Murphy, who is openly gay and said he'd donate all the proceeds he earns from "Pose" to LGBTQ organizations, has made a conscious effort to hire women, people of color and LGBTQ people in front of and behind the camera, thanks to his foundation Half.

That a show as diverse as "Pose" exists feels like an accomplishment in of itself. To get a show with a cast of actors who are primarily trans and people of color leading a prestige drama series is something to behold. It's 2018 and there have never been so many shows on the air at any given time, but stories highlighting the experiences of trans people are rarely explored, never mind the focus of a TV show. "Pose" is a platform to a number of fresh faces and new voices, creating a space where stars can be born.

Set in 1987 in New York City, the series follows the thriving ballroom scene in uptown, juxtaposing that life with the rise of Trump-era capitalism in Manhattan. With its diverse cast, "Pose" is incredibly specific, sometimes playing like "Paris is Burning" fan-fiction (this is meant in the best way possible). "Pose" also looks like nothing else on TV - it's full of life and, most importantly, color. A terrible trend with prestige TV is the cold and dark color pallets many showrunners often use (Murphy has been guilty of this, too) - navy blues and steely greys have come to signal that This Show Is Important, but actually make things flat and boring to look at. "Pose" is the complete opposite, embracing every color of the rainbow - bright reds and yellows pop on screen during vibrant and dazzling dance-offs. It may be a small detail, but its one that makes a huge difference.

For how groundbreaking "Pose" is, at its core, it's surprisingly quite conventional. The show is a family drama of sorts, as it showcases how queer people, especially those rejected by the ones they love, can come together and choose their own family, forming unconditional bonds. As with any family, those bonds are tested at times, but overcoming obstacles only bring them closer together. The family drama is one of TV's most reliable and relatable forms of storytelling, but there's something rebellious in the way "Pose" utilizes this tried and true format.

"Pose" also begins on a handful of clichés we've seen time and time again in LGBTQ cinema. In the first 20 minutes of the pilot, someone is diagnosed with HIV, while another character comes out as gay and is beaten by his father and kicked out of the house by his mother. But "Pose" isn't a movie, and isn't constrained to a two-hour time limit; in fact, episodes clock in at a full 60 minutes, with the pilot totaling a whopping 78 minutes. Fluid running times may feel daunting, but they allow directors and writers to flesh out these familiar tropes and take them to places that movies cannot.

At the heart of "Pose" is MJ Rodriguez, who plays Blanca Rodriguez. It's a major breakout role for the enchanting newcomer, who oozes star power and commands every scene she's in. Unsatisfied with being a member of the House of Abundance, led by the towering Elektra Abundance (Dominique Jackson), Blanca decides to break free and start her own house. The move sparks a vicious rivalry between the House of Abundance and Blanca's new House of Evangelista. Becoming a house mother isn't easy, and Blanca enlists her own ragtag crew, including aspiring dancer Damon (Ryan Jamaal Swain), fellow ballroom scene competitor and sex worker Angel (the stunning Indya Moore), and others. She's got the support from the ballroom scene's magnificent emcee Pray Tell (the wonderful Billy Porter), who is ready to assist Blanca with costume construction and life advice.

The supporting cast of "Pose" round out the show's lived-in and felt world. The vulnerable Angel is the connecting thread between the ballroom world and the Trumpian life in Manhattan - she's involved in a relationship with Stan (Ryan Murphy veteran Evan Peters), a New Jersey family man, married to Patty (Kate Mara), and a new hire working for Donald Trump's business (lol). His boss Matt (James Van Der Beek, doing his best Christian Bale à la "American Psycho") is a live wire and is the epitome of what many in the drag/trans community desire at that time. Still, the Peters and Van Der Beek stories don't feel necessary or particularly exciting through the four episodes of "Pose" provided for review, though that could easily change later in the season.

Viewers will enter "Pose" through Damon, who Blanca takes in after spotting him dancing on the streets of New York. Her motherly instinct is to push him into dance school, which splits Damon into two versions - the one competing in the underground ballroom scene, and the one experiencing a life some of his closest friends will never see. It's a fascinating journey, but the handsome Swain's wide-eyed performance doesn't always connect, which is a problem because he is the show's avatar at times.

Your mileage of "Pose" will vary, depending on how soapy you like your dramas. There are Big and Powerful Speeches, show-stopping dance-offs and devastating moments in "Pose" that can feel pandering to LGBTQ viewers, but the show maintains a nice pace and never lets up being engaging and entertaining.

The show tackles a number of heavy topics, too, ranging from the AIDS epidemic of the '80s, gender confirmation surgery, socio-economic class, and much more. But "Pose" doesn't feel dated when handling delicate issues. The writing and the performances are strong, assertive and confident, taking on discussions of sex, health, and identity with an admirable frankness. It also finds fascinating ways to take on modern issues within the LGBTQ community. In the second episode, "Access," one of the most provocative moments comes when Blanca and a friend, Lulu Abundance (Hailie Sahar), who is also trans, face discrimination by cis white gay men at a popular gay bar. After being berated with transphobic language by the bar's manager, who kicks the pair out of the establishment, Blanca tells him, "This isn't over!

"It was over before it started," Lulu tells Blanca. "Everybody needs someone to make them feel superior. That line ends with us though. The shit runs downhill, past the women, the blacks, the Latins, the gays until it reaches the bottom and lands on our kind."

It's a powerful moment that rings as true today as it did in 1987. And it's a sentiment that is rarely discussed among the gay community - forget portrayed and expressed with nuance on a mainstream program airing on a premium cable network like FX.

Murphy expertly directs the first two episodes and co-writes them along with Brad Falchuk and Steven Canals, both of whom are credited as co-creators. "Pose" lifts off, however, when they take a step back, allowing trans activist Janet Mock and "Transparent" writer Our Lady J to pen episodes. Authentic voices unsurprisingly lead to earnest and heartfelt results, making "Pose" a fiercely fascinating show that revels in how daringly conventional it is.

[spacetimewithstuartgary]

TINY DISTORTIONS IN UNIVERSE’S OLDEST LIGHT REVEAL CLEARER PICTURE OF STRANDS IN COSMIC WEB ** Synopsis: Berkeley Lab, UC Berkeley researchers map the network of filaments connecting the universe’s visible matter. ** Scientists have decoded faint distortions in the patterns of the universe’s earliest light to map huge tube-like structures invisible to our eyes -- known as filaments -- that serve as superhighways for delivering matter to dense hubs such as galaxy clusters. The international science team, which included researchers from the Department of Energy’s Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory (Berkeley Lab) and UC Berkeley, analyzed data from past sky surveys using sophisticated image-recognition technology to home in on the gravity-based effects that identify the shapes of these filaments. They also used models and theories about the filaments to help guide and interpret their analysis. Published April 9 in the journal Nature Astronomy, the detailed exploration of filaments will help researchers to better understand the formation and evolution of the cosmic web -- the large-scale structure of matter in the universe -- including the mysterious, unseen stuff known as dark matter that makes up about 85 percent of the total mass of the universe. Dark matter constitutes the filaments -- which researchers learned typically stretch across hundreds of millions of light-years -- and the so-called halos that host clusters of galaxies are fed by the universal network of filaments. More studies of these filaments could provide new insights about dark energy, another mystery of the universe that drives its accelerating expansion. Filament properties could also put gravity theories to the test, including Einstein’s general theory of relativity, and lend important clues to help solve an apparent mismatch in the amount of visible matter predicted to exist in the universe -- the “missing baryon problem.” “Usually researchers don’t study these filaments directly -- they look at galaxies in observations,” said Shirley Ho, a senior scientist at Berkeley Lab and Cooper-Siegel associate professor of physics at Carnegie Mellon University who led the study. “We used the same methods to find the filaments that Yahoo and Google use for image recognition, like recognizing the names of street signs or finding cats in photographs.” The study used data from the Baryon Oscillation Spectroscopic Survey, or BOSS, an Earth-based sky survey that captured light from about 1.5 million galaxies to study the universe’s expansion and the patterned distribution of matter in the universe set in motion by the propagation of sound waves, or “baryonic acoustic oscillations,” rippling in the early universe. The BOSS survey team, which featured Berkeley Lab scientists in key roles, produced a catalog of likely filament structures that connected clusters of matter that researchers drew from in the latest study. Researchers also relied on precise, space-based measurements of the cosmic microwave background, or CMB, which is the nearly uniform remnant signal from the first light of the universe. While this light signature is very similar across the universe, there are regular fluctuations that have been mapped in previous surveys. In the latest study, researchers focused on patterned fluctuations in the CMB. They used sophisticated computer algorithms to seek out the imprint of filaments from gravity-based distortions in the CMB, known as weak lensing effects, that are caused by the CMB light passing through matter. Since galaxies live in the densest regions of the universe, the weak lensing signal from the deflection of CMB light is strongest from those parts. Dark matter resides in the halos around those galaxies, and was also known to spread from those denser areas in filaments. “We knew that these filaments should also cause a deflection of CMB and would also produce a measurable weak gravitational lensing signal,” said Siyu He, the study’s lead author who is a Ph.D. researcher from Carnegie Mellon University -- she is now at Berkeley Lab and is also affiliated with UC Berkeley. The research team used statistical techniques to identify and compare the “ridges,” or points of higher density that theories informed them would point to the presence of filaments. “We were not just trying to ‘connect the dots’ -- we were trying to find these ridges in the density, the local maximum points in density,” she said. They checked their findings with other filament and galaxy cluster data, and with “mocks,” or simulated filaments based on observations and theories. The team used large cosmological simulations generated at Berkeley Lab’s National Energy Research Scientific Computing Center (NERSC), for example, to check for errors in their measurements. The filaments and their connections can change shape and connections over time scales of hundreds of millions of years. The competing forces of the pull of gravity and the expansion of the universe can shorten or lengthen the filaments. “Filaments are this integral part of the cosmic web, though it’s unclear what is the relationship between the underlying dark matter and the filaments,” and that was a primary motivation for the study, said Simone Ferraro, one of the study’s authors who is a Miller postdoctoral fellow at UC Berkeley’s Center for Cosmological Physics. New data from existing experiments, and next-generation sky surveys such as the Berkeley Lab-led Dark Energy Spectroscopic Instrument (DESI) now under construction at Kitt Peak National Observatory in Arizona should provide even more detailed data about these filaments, he added. Researchers noted that this important step in sleuthing the shapes and locations of filaments should also be useful for focused studies that seek to identify what types of gases inhabit the filaments, the temperatures of these gases, and the mechanisms for how particles enter and move around in the filaments. The study also allowed them to determine the length of filaments. Siyu He said that resolving the filament structure can also provide clues to the properties and contents of the voids in space around the filaments, and “help with other theories that are modifications of general relativity,” she said. Ho added, “We can also maybe use these filaments to constrain dark energy -- their length and width may tell us something about dark energy’s parameters.” IMAGE....In this illustration, the trajectory of cosmic microwave background (CMB) light is bent by structures known as filaments that are invisible to our eyes, creating an effect known as weak lensing captured by the Planck satellite (left), a space observatory. Researchers used computers to study this weak lensing of the CMB and produce a map of filaments, which typically span hundreds of light years in length. Credit Siyu He, Shadab Alam, Wei Chen, and Planck/ESA