#which is why its so wibbly

[artylovr]

aw yeah there he go

[there-are-4-lights]

from here

[katakaluptastrophy]

"I’ve already pretty much revealed that Alecto begins with the descent of Christ into Hades." - Tamsyn Muir

That's right...it's time for more Bible study for fans of weird queer necromancers!

It's currently Holy Week, the week where Western liturgical Christians reenact the events of Jesus' death and resurrection in real time. And today, it's Holy Saturday. So Jesus died on the cross on Good Friday. He rises from the dead on Easter Sunday. But what happened in between? His body lay in the tomb...but his spirit was otherwise preoccupied. Because on Holy Saturday, Jesus went to Hell.

But why would Jesus go to Hell? Because the resurrection was not just about saving the people who came after it - it was a bit more...wibbly wobbly, timey wimey.

To be a bit more specific, he didn't visit Hell Hell. The place Jesus visited isn't Hell in the sense of eternal punishment of the damned, but Hades or Sheol or the Underworld or Limbo - a place for those who were mostly good but lived before Jesus' resurrection had made salvation possible. So before his resurrection, Jesus went to make that salvation retroactive. Particularly, according to tradition, to major figures from the Old Testament, including Adam and Eve.

So Nona the Ninth ended with Harrow walking off into the River in search of theological truth. And Alecto the Ninth apparently begins with Harrow in Hell:

Alecto the Ninth, ACT ONE HARROW IN HELL CHAPTER 1 At a point in the slit she was carving through life, Harrowhark Nonagesimus woke to find herself lost in a dark wound. She had been walking when it had all gone black– any path ahead or behind was blotted out; now she was here.  - Tamsyn Muir reading at TorCon

This is riffing heavily on the beginning of Dante's Inferno:

"In the middle of the journey of our life I came to myself within a dark wood where the straight way was lost." - Dante Alighieri, Inferno

But lots of people go to Hell. What's so special about Harrow going there? Because the traditional name in English for Jesus' chthonic salvation adventures on Holy Saturday is "the Harrowing of Hell." "Harrow" comes from an Old English word meaning to attack or despoil - a very martial way of expressing the idea of Jesus as the victor over sin and death.

Harrow ended NTN realising that she cannot trust John's account of metaphysics. That she needs to discover the reality for herself. The faith of the Nine Houses and John's own styling as god rests on the foundation of the Resurrection - John is the "ransomer of death, scourge of death, vindicator of death", his power is understood to be absolute: "Let the whole of everywhere entrust themselves to him. Let those across the river pledge beyond the tomb to the adept divine."

And yet even that prayer - "let those across the river..." - introduces doubt. Magnus jumps in to silence Abigail when she expresses her heretical belief in the River beyond, and Harrow herself scoffs that "it has been thousands of years since anybody bothered to believe in the River beyond." Abigail believes that John knows nothing about what exists beyond the River. And what about Hell? In HTN, Ulysses the First is described as "languishing in Hell" after his run-in with a Resurrection Beast. John himself describes the stoma as "the mouth to Hell", "a portal to a place I cannot touch - somewhere I don't fully comprehend, where my power and my authority are utterly meaningless."

In the Book of Revelation - the Bible's account of the end of the world - Jesus holds "the keys of death and Hell". John may have resurrected the dead, but he does not comprehend what is beyond it. Both the destination of the good, the River beyond to which the souls of little Isaac and Jean should have traveled lightly after their short and brutal lives, and the Hell that lies beneath the stoma are outside of his power. He is a few keys short of the full divine bunch. He can manipulate death, but he is not really its master.

And so Harrow walks off into the River to look for something or someone she can call god. Harrow, who shares a name with the defeat of death across time and space. Harrow, who is of the unbroken line of Anastasia. Anastasia was kind to Alecto, who like Eve is the mother of all and like Adam walked on the empty earth with god.

In Orthodox icons, the Harrowing of Hell is depicted with Jesus triumphant, leading Adam and Eve by the hand from their tombs. The traditional term for this image is an anastasis, the Greek term for resurrection. Adam and Eve, whose sin broke the intended shape of reality, are restored to wholeness with god.

How will Harrow answer her questions about god? What really is beyond the stoma and what would it mean to conquer it? What does it look like, metaphysically, to restore the world of The Locked Tomb to wholeness, and what will it cost?

[lover-of-skellies]

More handwriting headcanons, but this time it’s for various Papyruses!

Obviously there are more Papyruses that exist, these are just the main ones that came to mind first :P

Font names and reasoning under the cut:

Papyrus: Papyrus (because…. c’mon. we all know why)

Stretch: bRee (he gets lowercase letters because he’s a sleepy guy, and the only reason the Ts look a little sharp is because he was probably thinking about Smart Guy Shit again)

Edge: COLORS OF AUTUMN (upper case letters because loud, and sharp like his personality)

Crooks: kindergarden (his letters are big but not all caps because he’s lost some of the spark that would’ve otherwise made him more like OG Paps, and his handwriting is a little wibbly wobbly because head trauma impairs your motor skills sometimes, making it hard to keep your hand movements, or even just regular movements, smooth and steady)

Mutt: alanis hand (he gets lower case and small because he’s another sleepy guy with no confidence)

Charm (UL Paps): Bigdey Demo (dude gets fancy halfway cursive handwriting because he’s a fancy boy. being fancy and stylish is his whole thing, and he adds little hearts in sometimes if he’s in a particularly good mood)

Jupiter (OT Paps): PIGMENTDEMO (personality wise, I just feel like he’d be very similar to OG Paps, and they probably have a lot of the same habits and things, which could easily carry over into their writing. Their handwriting is similar, but still visually different at the end of the day)

Tango (DT Paps): Rock Salt (big letters and all caps here because he’s a louder, more outgoing guy, and even if he’s not super confident 24/7, that’s still the image that he likes to display to others, so they get the impression that he’s the most confident man on the planet. His handwriting is also a bit fancy in its own way, which kinda reflects his whole thing with dancing)

Phantom (DT Paps): Coffee House (ominous looking, sharp, and all caps, because he is literally the creepy dude who tells Dust to maim people and be homicidal. Sometimes he uses lower case, but when he’s especially worked up about something, he goes back to his all caps ways)

Cider (FT Paps): A Hundred Miles (his letters aren’t the biggest, but he still uses all caps. It’s nice looking, if a little on the messy side sometimes because he does so much with his hands on the farm, and they’re probably sore by the time he finishes)

Grim (RT Paps): Silent Reaction (all caps cursive is a nightmare to look at, and he’s been around long enough that he’s painfully aware of that, so he’s brought it down a few notches and uses proper capitalization. He’s had centuries to make his handwriting nice and neat, and while he does like making it look nice, he’s often more concerned about getting all of his work done. Little bonus is that he unintentionally makes the dot above the i look kinda like a candle flame)

[yak-leather-whips]

Alright, time for some more quanglican analysis from everybody’s favorite second place winner of the Riz Gukgak prize for obsessive hyperfixation, this time focused on the lyrics to Sarah Barrios Teenage Rebellion. Lets get into it!

Alright, so we start out with verse 1. Pretty standard, but my brain has gotten caught on the “nothing’s as dark as it seems” line. Seems like maybe an indication that things aren’t quite what they appear to be, and that the team’s gonna need to rely on their allies, which would explain why so many of them have been taken out of the picture right from the start.

Okay, chorus time, and this is where I take a HUGE fucking theory leap out into nowhere, so stay with me, cuz I think the bad kids are literally gonna start a rebellion at Aguefort. I think Kipperlilly Copperkettle (and no I did NOT have to go look up her name, but it is absolutely wild that he has elected to give this girl 4 consecutive nouns as a name) is going to become a fascist dictator a la Trump, along with this android fucker, and the Bad Kids literally start a revolution to retake power along with the student body. I have…almost no evidence for this, but I am at least 43% confident we are headed in that direction.

Here we fuckin go baby!! Contradictions, strangeness, madness, we are INTO it! This is the verse that feels the most like its indicating timestream fuckery. Like, I contradict myself in particular is VERY wibbly wobbly, like “ooh, are we gonna get some self-on-past-self pvp? Are we fucking with the timestream?”

Anyways, thats the analysis! The quanglican reformation is upon us!

[henrysglock]

Mother is God, In The Eyes of a Child

This has got to be my farthest-fetched theory, and its more of a collection of observations that weave together than an actual theory. However...there's something distinctly weird about all this.

It started here:

Max steps on spider egg sacs in Vecna's mind lair, and the babies spill out.

"If there's a spider, you're never gonna find it 'till it lays eggs and the babies spill out"

Then Vecna killing Patrick while looking distinctly like a spider on a web, a direct comparison to those black widows.

And I talked in the discord chat talking with Em for a while like. They. They wouldn't. Right? And I've been sitting here thinking about the last time I said "they wouldn't...right?" So here we go.

"Of course you have a mother. You couldn't really have been born without one."

But Mama is dead...

just like One doesn't exist.

And whoever you are, either you aren't home (which, you're "Terry's daughter" in Terry's home which was decorated for you in hopes that you'd come home 🤨)...or you aren't Terry's daughter.

but wait: Mr. Mom? Perfect!

Mr. Mom...which leads straight to the lab going haywire:

Because of the Mind Flayer, who we know is (most likely) a version of Edward.

And "sleepyhead" is a parent thing...but it's specifically a mom thing, and it comes from the guy who's likely Edward. Why are you, as a man, so distinctly mother?

And so I'm looking at all of his God coding:

And I'm looking at his talk of spiders, particularly black widows, being the gods of our world:

There's also this particular dialogue parallel with Carrie's mother:

As well as Black Widow "God of Our World" 001 and Henry "Sensitive (Gay) Child" Creel, framed this way in back to back shots.

One of them has the rainbow flag and the other's got the black widow spider, makes sense...right? (Sure. Except not really.)

He also has a ton of God coding in his music choices:

Except, when we look at the songs he alone or he and El are overlaid with...Akhnaten is functionally a mezzo-soprano. In the pieces we hear specifically, Akhnaten sings in the same range or higher than Nefertiti.

Which then gets me thinking about the Silent Hill parallels (that Em has talked about here), and specifically this one line of dialogue from Dahlia:

And the fact that every single black widow spider reference regarding Henward/Vecna/001 has been about female black widows, never male ones:

As well as a good portion of his rant being about:

- Being vaguely broken (what's wrong with him is never said) - His kinship with spiders (specifically the female black widows) - Society's oppressive made-up rules - Being forced to pretend (unspecificed as to what, exactly, he's pretending about...all we get is "a silly, terrible play") - Reproduction

Then the fact that Vecna kind of has a thing for showing up as mothers:

And on top of all that...the fact that Vecna somehow lost his dick along the way. Where did it go????????

There's also all the birthing and reproduction imagery that goes along with the UD, most blatantly in the scene where El crawls out of the same hole the Demogorgon came through:

As well as these movies from the ST4 Movie Board:

Ace Ventura Pet Detective: Finkle has a sex change to assume a new identity and seek vengeance.

Let The Right One In: Vampire girl who is really a boy being forced to live as a girl

Sleepaway Camp: Girl named Angela who is actually a boy named Peter being forced by his aunt to live as a girl after his twin sister (the real Angela) was killed in an accident. (Wibble knows more about this one than I do, but I'm staring at Peter Ballard and all of our Angela's parallels to the lab)

Splice: Female Human-Animal hybrid "dies" (is actually in a coma) and undergoes a spontaneous sex change to male and proceeds to go berserk.

Silence of the Lambs: Main villain is a blonde, wavy-haired cross-dressing serial killer.

And then with the parallels to Room (even if it isn't on the ST4 Movie Board):

Plus Will's Alan Turing poster and the castration stuff that goes along with that..and the "Henry" that shows up behind him:

What in the gender is going on here?

[strawbubbysugar]

Happy birthday Bubby!

Couple more questions!

-Are you able to say everyone’s ages in So(u)l, including the animatronics?

-Does June ever play his guitar and sing in public or at bars or anything or does he only do that at home now?

-Soulmate question, kinda regarding Rush and Morgan’s bond, does that imply that if you don’t have a soulmate due to your previous one passing away, you can get a new bond later even if your future soulmate already exists? Like the string will “wait” kinda until they’re ready? Or was Morgan and Rush’s string there right when Rush woke up?

-What are June, Hello, and Goodbye’s main fidgets/stims?

-Okay this might be weird lol but I’m curious, what are Hello and Goodbye’s favorite little things that June does in his sleep? Does he talk, twitch, unconsciously cling to them like a koala, anything like that?

-What kind of odd jobs does June do on the side?

Thank you!!

i wanna keep it vague, but June is roughly in his mid 20's matt is roughly in his mid-late 30's Marlow is roughly one year younger than June Morgan is two years older than June Hello is a year old (his AI is somewhere around June's age) Goodbye was a year older than June (now the same age as Hello) Rush is around 8 years old (his ai is early 30's) Wibble is around 6 years old (his ai is the same as Rush) Cammie is 4 around years old (her ai is the same as wibble and rush) Octavia is around 2 years old, but was technically never completed (her size makes it much easier to fit a more complex system in her, so her mental age is around 40) The skrittles have the same AI age as toddlers, but theyre a few months old Astro Cadet has been worked on off and on for about six years, and his ai is about the same age. It grows much slower than the WOW branded animatronics

Absolutely no in public things. He's gotten a lot more shy about performing since his band days. He only ever plays for hello/goodbye and piper

Soulmate marks are all about right time, right place. if you arent the version of yourself that would be soulmates with someone, no markings will show up. Morgan was a very different person with their last soulmate, and their life experiences changed who they are. it happens! people change, especially as they get older. its why a lot of people are told not to be upset if they dont get any markings until later on (SPOILERS BELOW) Its why samir and june didnt have any soul marks until samir was goodbye. he wasnt the person that wouldve been soulmates with june yet, he needed to experience and change and grow before that would happen. So did june!

June chews his lip a lot, and sighs. Sometimes he sighs for no reason just because he forgot to breathe. I think his favourite fidget toy would be one of those fidget cubes Hello stims by waving/flapping his arms, or playing with his hands. I think he'd enjoy fidget spinners or rubix cubes! Goodbye stims with squeezing/pressure. He'd enjoy weighted blankets, and I think he'd enjoy stress balls. Ones with thick stuff inside so he can really squeeze down

Hello likes it when June sighs in his sleep, or mumbles. Goodbye thinks its funny when he snores on occasion, and records it to play it back while pretending to nap. (taking inspiration from my roommate bc its hilarious, sometimes june will make the saddest, softest little sigh in his sleep and hello will wake him up like "WERE YOU HAVING A BAD DREAM ARE YOU OKAY" & june will be entirely confused)

June does a lil of everything. people in town come to him for a lot of stuff like yard work, painting houses/fences, cleaning houses. He occasionally comes into bryn's office and helps with anything they might need too, like fixing the chairs, etc. He's known as a jack of all trades around town (which makes him feel nostalgic, since that used to be what he called his childhood best friend)

[waitmyturtles]

This is VERY UNLIKE ME, but here's some incredibly fast, EXTREMELY late-night meta on two dramas (Dangerous Romance and I Feel You Linger in the Air) from this TIRED mama, all before Only Friends later today!

(Y'all. I've missed being around this week! Moving and unpacking... I'll tell ya. It gets harder as I get older. Mostly because I/we have more stuff, and the BRAINS I need to figure out where this stuff should go is like, as mentally draining as it is physically draining to open boxes, unpack 'em, go up and down stairs -- damn. I have been COLLAPSING at night. Friends have been sending me meta to read -- @ranchthoughts, I see you, boo! <3 <3 The little peeks and breaks I've been getting have been giving me energy. I'm a little back on my bullshit now, and I can't wait to give Only Friends the full treatment tomorrow. But for now, quick notes!)

1) Dangerous Romance, episode 4: Listen, the friends covered a lot (here, here, and here -- @neuroticbookworm, @lurkingshan, @wen-kexing-apologist, all clowning correctly). WKA also notes that this show was written by Pratchaya Thavornthummarut and Bee Pongsate, two of the three writers of some of the best BLs ever -- Bad Buddy, My School President, Dark Blue Kiss, etc. When Bee and Pratchaya write WITHOUT Au Kornprom, as they did in BBS, MSP, and DBK -- things go a touch awry (cc @chickenstrangers, as we've talked about this before). Bee and Pratchaya, for instance, wrote Vice Versa, which I haven't watched, but I know the fam is mid on. (Remember when Aof Noppharnach had to come in to save 2gether by making Still 2gether? 2gether was written by Bee and Pratchaya -- Aof and Au joined in on the Still 2gether correction.)

ANYWAY, ALL OF THIS IS TO SAY that I should have been smarter about this show when I started in on it. It's directed in part by Lit Phadung, formerly of SOTUS, which is a fine show by nostalgia's standards! But like, not the height of drahmah.

So there's a lot of mid kinda swirling around here, and god, honestly, I'm kicking myself, because I should have been more sus. I should have been more sus!

Perth and Chimon are too good for this show. Not that I hate it! I don't hate the show, per se. It's just -- the first episode was so intense, so very issues-based, as all the dear friends noted, that to swerve towards a SUCH a gloopy romance plot was just... man, even SOTUS was WAY more clear in its plot than DR. (Dudes, I was chatting with @neuroticbookworm while I was watching this, and I was like, LOVE SICK HAD A MORE CONVINCING ROMANCE PACE THAN THIS. LOVE SICK!!!) DR is moving WAY too quickly towards the cheesiest of tropes, without the beef to back it up.

Anyway, from the energy vibes that Perth and Chimon are giving off, they should either 1) be making out by now, and/or 2) doing it by now, because like, WHOA, lots of staring, boys! LOTS of staring. And lemme tell ya, someone's staring at me like that, like in the clurb or something, and I'm like, yep, make-out time, right?! RIGHT?!

I am now officially watching this show, as I noted to @neuroticbookworm, literally to watch all the dear GMMTV celebs in here try to avoid a dumpster fire. (Where the hell is June?!) (At least Marc and Pawin are funny for like, the 10 seconds we see them.)

OH, ALSO?! What's the difference in Sailom becoming a sex worker vs. being bought out as a live-in tutor? Were we supposed to judge Sailom becoming an escort? Are we intentionally ignoring bias in socioeconomic gaps, writers? TOO MUCH TO ASK, TEAM! Too. much. to. ask.

I luv you, Perth and Chimon, I LUV YOU, BUT WHY. ANYWAY. MOVING ON.

2) I haven't written anything about I Feel You Linger in the Air yet because of LIFE (see above), and I was very wibbly about it when I started it, because you, your mother, MY mother, and MY MOTHER'S MOTHER all know about how sus I am on Tee Bundit (but I finally watched Lovely Writer and LOVED IT, so I am a touch less sus).

ANYWAY, thanks to the convincing of @lurkingshan and @neuroticbookworm to look past the slow pace of the first episode as accurate for a historical drama, I kept at it with IFYLITA. And I'm glad I did.

Now this? THIS IS A BL, BABY!

We got sexy typewriter scenes! Drawings of cutie widdle pigwets! Drunk falls! Red cheeks! Reading out loud! POETRY! FLOWERS! ENEMIES AND INTRIGUE! (I'm not happy about the marital rape, but unfortunately, I am thinking that is accurate for the time being portrayed.)

Admittedly -- god, Tee, the episodes are still a little long, my homey. A little long. BUT.

This show, as so many have noted, is just beyond gorgeous. The plumerias. I LOVE Ming and Maey. I LOVE THAT WE MAY HAVE A SAPPHIC SUB-PLOT.

But I also appreciate that only four episodes in, we haven't forgotten that this is a time travel show, in the midst of the budding romance. My thinking on that out-of-body experience on Jom's part was Jom flirting with consciousness after the present-day car crash. But who knows.

I like that Jom is making the connections with those drawings he found in that chest -- and that, lol, he was asking Prik questions about the architecture. Even though Yai's dad seems like a bad dude, I have faith that Tee Bundit is going to keep Nu Surasak going as a good BL dad/dude -- fingers crossed.

I am just -- I am loving where this show is going to go. The house is worried about Yai. I like the way the scent about Yai's preferences is a lot more muted in 1920s Thailand than it would be as set in the present-day. I just think that's totally accurate for what I would call an "old-fashioned" Asian perspective now. I'm very intrigued to see how a historical drama like this will wrestle with homophobia, as this is my first period BL, and -- I'm just excited to see where it'll go.

The acting is GREAT, the pace of the romance is GREAT, the pace of the filming is still slow, but I can't believe I'm saying this -- I'll continue to forgive it for now. Tee, please, PLEASE don't fail us, because you have something GREAT going on here. Yai, head over HEEEELLLLSSS for Jom, is just -- it's a wonder to see, and I am fully on this roller coaster palanquin ride.

(Also, hey, TWO DRAMAS where dudes were PAID to live with their crushes. K!)

(Oh, also, definitely, next time I'm at a clurb, in like, 20 years, I am definitely ordering an URN of liquor with a ladle. Like a baijiu urn. Fuck yeah. What a LOOK.)

(Okay, that's it, good night, see you for Only Friends!)

[rowanthestrange]

@poppiesforthirteen

Working from example. This wasn’t my first, first scarf that took me like 20 years extremely off and on and was started against my will for me at age 9. But after making Dr Whool (13) this was basically the first thing.

So when I say you’ll see your improvements and change in tension, here you go. Behold the wibble. Embrace it. See how extra wibbly things are even in just a few rows of the same wool on the left. You’ll get that. This is not to be worried about, we should love looking back at our starter projects, or I do anyway. Improvement’s sexy.

Now this is acrylic. Gives you some wiggle room that cotton doesn’t. (Also more lightweight and breathable, and depending on how long a 4th Doctor scarf you’re going for, that can really start to build up.

Mine gets to be extra wiggly because of 40 different brands of wool to get the right colours for pride flags. But if you’re just doing a Fourth Doctor one, try and find one (1) brand that has the colours you like/need and get those. (And do not settle. This is a long project and you’ll want the thing at the end. If you get the colour in your hand and you’re going ‘well i guess it’ll do’ - no it won’t. Just get something else before you start).

Also the edges. You’ll want some kind of neatening, which I think for mine was a slip stitch. You don’t need one that is complicated, if it’s going over three rows it’s just up its arse. Not the best picture, but if you look at the left side edges, like on the classic lesbian flag (it was just before the shift over goddamn it) then compare with say the beige near the ace flag, you’ll see it looks neater. That’s why.

And finally, just remember, it’s not reversible. …I mean the back side you’ll see the colour change and it’ll be clean on the front, not ‘don’t ever undo your knitting’, absolutely do do that. I’ve never regretted having to unknit any number of rows to fix a fuck up.

Also don’t use the specific brand of orangey-brown wool I got locked into cus it worked like nothing else has before or since and it was basically like elastic. And stopped being stocked halfway through and I had to source it from like Portugal.

[franklyshipping]

Tickling His Guard Down ~ A Markiplier Ego Fanfic

WOOOO HERE WE HAVE A FIC BASED OFF A GLORIOUS ANON PROMPT WITH OUR FAVOURITE BUBBLEGUM BOI AND OUR GRUMPY FNAF GUARD, SO LET’S DO THIS!

Wilford Warfstache was in a traipsing mood. This kind of mood involved the flamboyant man letting his whims carry him through the manor, until such a time as something caught his interest. Currently he was humming an absent tune, not at all thinking about where he was going – such was the man’s haphazard nature. Eventually though he found a glimmer of focus, and realised he’d made it to the very top floor of the manor. Here resided a few bedrooms, some of the largest in fact, since they’d all been converted from attic spaces. And as it so happened, one of those bedroom doors was ajar.

Wilford peeked inside, and beamed when he spotted none other than Guard, the paranoid FNAF security fellow turned ultimate-sarcastic-grump-meister. The man was lying on his bed, flinging playing cards with great accuracy into his trashcan, which was lying on its side a few feet away. Wilford realised that he’d never actually seen inside the man’s room before, and of course his curiosity was insatiable. So Wilford, actually remembering his manners for once, knocked on the door.

‘What?’

Guard called, and Wilford stuck his head in the doorway with a bright grin.

‘Eeeevening.’

Guard raised an eyebrow, not moving from his bed.

‘Can I help you?’

Wilford’s head inched into the room slightly, his grin widening as he put on his sweetest butter-wouldn’t-melt voice.

‘Actually you can! You see I was just having a little wander, just letting the wibbly-wobbly time continuum guide me on my way, when I realised that I’ve never actually been up here before! Or if I have then I can’t remember… anyhoo! I was just wondering if I could have a little looksie around, if that’s alright with you. I swear you won’t even know I’m here!’

Guard blinked at his impromptu guest. He was hesitant, for a number of reasons. After everything Guard had been though he was incredibly protective of his private space – it was his sanctuary of solitude away from the rest of the world, a place where he knew for certain he was safe. Also he was keenly aware of how easily Wilford could bring chaos into every situation. Despite these points however… Guard actually quite liked Wilford. He was an interesting breed of innocent weirdness and maybe, just maybe, Guard had left his door ajar on purpose… in the hope of someone noticing.

‘Sure, why not.’

‘Why thank you very kindly!’

Guard held back a smile at Wilford’s enthusiasm and watched as he sauntered into the room, and set about taking eager interest in… well, everything. To be fair though, Guard had more of a mini apartment at his disposal than simply a bedroom. He had a kitchenette with worn wooden surfaces, a huge en-suite bathroom, access to a fire escape so he could come and go unseen, and his own wifi router – though Wilford got especially excited when he looked through Guard’s weapons closet, where his flamethrower was displayed in pride of place. Wilford got excited by every little thing, babbling like a hyper kid as Guard tried not to laugh at how endearing he was being. Wilford sat himself on Guard’s bed with a dramatic sigh after his inspection, giving Guard a delighted grin.

‘I mean you basically have a mini house in here! With all this stuff you barely ever have to leave!’

‘Yeah, that’s kinda the point…’

Guard paused, realising what he’d said. He cleared his throat and fiddled with his playing cards as Wilford’s expression softened. Wilford knew the desire for isolation and self-preservation when he saw it, for he had seen it so many times before with his loved ones; though everyone always had their own reasons. He tilted his head at Guard softly.

‘Why?’

Guard shrugged, avoiding Wilford’s eye and continuing to fidget.

‘I guess… I’ve always felt better with my own company.’

Wilford nodded gently. He could tell Guard wasn’t quite ready to open up all the way, which was understandable given everything he’d gone through. Even after having such a victory over evil, when all was said an done he was ultimately alone, hardly able to share his experiences with anyone lest he be labelled as crazy. Wilford could relate to that. He was eager to help make Guard feel more at ease around him, and so brightened his smile to him.

‘Well I bet your company is a fine one to have! I know I’d love to have it from time to time, and I’ve heard on the grapevine that my company is pretty spectacular!’

Wilford waggled his eyebrows, and for a few moments Guard was speechless… because that was the nicest thing anyone had ever said to him before. He even almost let out a genuine smile, especially with Wilford bigging himself up like the endearing goof that he was. However Guard, as per his habits, let his sarcastic self get the better of him.

‘You think your company’s really that great do you?’

Wilford blinked, then gaped when he picked up on the sass. Guard snorted at Wilford’s suddenly dramatic expression, which made Wilford narrow his eyes at him as he exclaimed.

‘You dare sass at Wilford Warfstache?! In all my incomprehensible decades of living I have NEVER been so insulted!’

Guard snorted again, he couldn’t help it! He had a love for winding people up that he sometimes just couldn’t ignore… but little did he know that today, there would be consequences. Wilford wasn’t going to take Guard’s attitude lightly, and as he flicked his gaze over the smug man he contemplated. A punishment was certainly in order, something torturous enough to teach him a lesson, but also playful enough to perhaps help him loosen up… aha. Wilford’s eyes gleamed with the perfect idea. Before Guard knew it, Wilford’s hands had latched onto his ankles. Guard spluttered as he was tugged into a lying position on his bed, his playing cards spilling from his hands as Wilford sat on his legs.

‘Hey–what the hell?! Get your damn candy ass off me!’

Wilford chuckled and tutted, wrestling with Guard’s flailing hands as he replied.

‘Now now settle down you! Fighting will only make this worse!’

‘Make what worse?! Get off you–no!’

Guard yelped when Wilford successfully pinned his wrists down under his knees, the moustached man letting out a satisfied sigh as Guard wriggled and grunted under him.

‘That’s better!’

‘No it isn’t! Let me go right the hell now!’

‘No can do I’m afraid! Not until you’ve taken your punishment for being a sassy little shit.’

Wilford grinned as Guard glared up art him, a mix of confused and annoyed as he tried to figure out what in the hell Wilford was talking about.

‘What the hell you mean punishme–?’

Then, Guard’s voice got stuck in his throat. Wilford has chosen that moment to splay his fingers across Guard’s taut, vulnerable stomach. He was only wearing a thin, grey t-shirt, meaning that Wilford’s light touch sent some rather intense, ticklish sparks through his midriff. His reaction made Wilford’s grin widen.

‘Well now, what have we here?’

‘N-Nothing.’

Guard swallowed thickly, trying to keep his composure… but deep down, he knew he was fucked.

‘Nothing?’

‘Wilford c-c’mon!’

‘C’mon what?’

Wilford was curling and uncurling his fingers incessantly, making Guard bite his lip and start smiling as he shook his head up at him – with every passing second, his will was slowly unravelling.

‘Not this okay anything but this! God–fucking waterboard me, throw me in a vortex, beat me up, anything you want just not thihis!’

A little giggle escaped him as Wilford’s blunt nails trailed over his stomach and sides, making him tremble as his face got gradually redder and redder. Wilford’s grin was impossibly huge with delight and awe – discovering someone’s ticklishness for the first time was honestly one of his favourite things in the entire world.

‘Aww, but I could never hurt you Guard! That’s why this is so perfect! I can torture you all I want and there won’t be a mark on you… unless I get hungry of course.’

Wilford winked down at him playfully, making Guard gape as even more heat rushed to his face. But before he could come up with a reply he burst into laughter, for Wilford had decided he was done with the anticipation. His fingers now scratched and scribbled Guard’s toned stomach with wild abandon, and there was nothing Guard could do.

‘NAHAHAHA FUHUHUCK NONOHOHO WIHIHILFORD C’MAHAHAN!’

Wilford found himself amazed by Guard’s laughter, for it wasn’t at all what he’d been expecting! The way he laughed was so bright, so perfectly musical, and Wilford thought it was one of the most beautiful laughs he’d heard in his entire life!

‘Oh my God your laugh is so pretty!’

‘SHUHUHUHUT UHUHUP!’

‘No really I mean it! It sounds like music!’

Wilford exclaimed in earnest, which had Guard shocked. At first he’d thought Wilford was merely teasing him, but now he saw the sincerity on his face and just felt flustered beyond measure! He was so unused to compliments that he had no idea how to react, and so ended up turning his face away and squeezing his eyes shut adorably.

‘YOHOHOU SHUHUT YOHOUR MOHOUTH!’

Wilford giggled, loving how flustered he was.

‘Why don’t you make me?’

Guard spluttered and yelped as Wilford now starting kneading his toned stomach, making him arch his back and flop about desperately as he shook his head.

‘IHIHIHI CAHAHAN’T!’

‘Oh dear, that must be pretty sucky for you.’

Guard let out a desperate whine as the kneading sent ticklish waves all the way through him, his laughter making his entire body shake underneath Wilford. After a few moments though Wilford gave his stomach mercy, leaving Guard panting as he got his breath back. But then Guard gulped when Wilford hummed musingly at him.

‘Now I wonder where else you’re ticklish, howsabout down here?’

Wilford give his hipbones some soft, experimental pinches, making Guard elicit a few rather noticeable squeaks. Wilford, of course, loved this.

‘Is that a yes? That sounded like a yes to me!’

Wilford softly spidered Guard’s hips, making him splutter and squeak even more as he jerked from side to side – unfortunately for him though, nothing he did could dislodge Wilford’s tickling fingers. The hip tickling also meant Guard was now caught up by the most adorable, high-pitched fits of giggles Wilford had ever heard!

‘Gohoho ahahawahahay!’

‘Aww, now why would I do that when I’m enjoying your company so much?’

Wilford teased, chuckling when Guard’s face scrunched up out of embarrassment.

‘Shuhuhut uhuhup smahahartass!’

‘Or what gigglehips?’

Wilford’s retort made Guard let out an indignant voice crack, the nickname catching him completely off guard – it also had the side effect of sending his blush up to his ears. Wilford laughed fondly, scratching away at Guard’s sensitive hips happily as he crooned.

‘Ooh, does someone like their new nickname?’

‘Wha–nohoho! Dohon’t cahahall mehehe thahat!’

‘Oh I’m so telling everyone to call you gigglehips now!’

‘Dohohon’t yohohou fuhucking dahahare!’

Wilford kept laughing along with Guard. He was so damn happy that he was able to see this brighter side of him, and ironically the tickling seemed to have the wondrous effect of making Guard less tense than he was before! Wilford decided he wanted to up the ante though, and spontaneously pinched the giggly man’s thighs as he raised an eyebrow.

‘Was that a threat?’

Wilford’s eyes widened with surprised glee when Guard shrieked at the pinches, and at how his eyes went oh so wide as he looked up at Wilford and babbled.

‘NOHO–nonono Ihi wohould never threaten you n-nehever! I was juhust s-sayihing random shihit I swear!’

Guard gulped as he watched Wilford, hoping beyond hope that maybe he’d have mercy, that maybe he wouldn’t tickle the most insanely ticklish spot he had on his body. The moustached man regarded him for a few moments… before his lips slowly spread in an evil smile which, I daresay, would have rivalled that of Darkiplier himself.

‘Are you ticklish right here?’

‘Wilford!’

‘It seems like you might be ticklish right here.’

‘Wilford please!’

Wilford paused for a moment, for dramatic effect, before smirking like the Devil.

‘I think I’m gonna tickle right here.’

As soon as Wilford’s tickly, pinching fingers touched down on Guard’s thighs, he was done for. The poor man was a mess of mirthful shrieks and screams as Wilford tickled the absolute hell out of him. This was the most that Guard had been tickled in his entire life and honestly? He thought he was going insane.

‘OHOHOHO MY GAHAHAHAAAA!’

Guard’s hysteria only made Wilford more eager to tickle him, and he cooed down at him eagerly.

‘Daawww poor thing, do my pinchies really tickle that bad?’

Guard nodded frantically, tears quick to gather in his eyes. The sensations were like nothing he’d ever felt before. Each pinch to the flesh of his thighs was like a fiery shock that made his cheeks ache with grinning, and his stomach shake with the heft of his laughter.

‘YEHEHEHEHEEEE!’

Wilford chuckled fondly, because to him there was truly nothing more beautiful than a little madness.

‘Are you sorry for being a sassy little shit?’

Guard nodded again, his desperate babbles immediate.

‘YESYEHEHEHEHES IHIHIHI SAHAHAHARRY!’

Now, Wilford discerned that Guard could likely have handled a little more, but he decided to have mercy. He could tell with ease that it had been a very long time since Guard had gotten tickled, and certainly nothing close to this level of meanness, and the last thing Wilford wanted to do was over-do it. So he happily relented and moved off Guard’s legs, his smile broad and sweetly satisfied.

‘Good, and let that be a lesson to you! No-one sasses ol’ Warfy and gets away with it!’

Guard snorted in-between his gasps for air and residual giggles, blinking his tears away as his body immediately curled up into a protective ball. The two men were quiet for a few minutes, Wilford exercising his rare patience as Guard panted and regained his senses. Soon Guard just had his residual giggles to deal with as he smiled bashfully.

‘Mehessage received… hoholy shihihit…’

Wilford giggled fondly as Guard calmed down fully, and another sect of silence reigned the room. Wilford looked around a little, his thoughts starting to drift once again into that familiar haze of absence; then, Guard nudged him.

‘Hey Wilford?’

Wilford blinked and smiled at him.

‘Uh huh?’

Guard was hesitant then, tentative as he thought about what he wanted to say. Then he took a breath and cleared his throat.

‘Do uh… do you really want my company?’

Wilford smile softened, and he nodded to him as he replied.

‘I do. I know some other people who’d like it too… you wanna meet a few of them?’

Guard nibbled his lip at the question, thinking to himself. However now, a few of his feelings had altered. Instead of an anxious tightness encompassing his chest he felt lighter, more relaxed, at the thought of spending time with people. He knew his anxiety would return in the future, for there was rarely a one-time fix for the recurrent feeling… but here and now he was okay, and he wasn’t going to take it for granted.

‘Yeah, yeah I’d like that.’

Wilford beamed with a gasp and jumped up excitedly, and Guard laughed when the bombastic man grabbed him by the hand and started rattling off about all the people he wanted to introduce him to. Before Guard knew it he’d been yanked out of his room, but he was okay with that. Of course, it is always incredibly important to have time for yourself, and to have a space for your own that’s all for you so you can feel safe with your own company… but never forget, there will always be other people out there who will love your company too.

WOOOO HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE THIS FIC LEMME KNOW IF YA DOO! WOOO LUV YOUS!!

[vifetoile]

Watching season 4 of the good place, unfortunately the high mark of the season seems to be “The Funeral to End All Funerals” and “The Answer," everything else goes downhill.

Under the cut, I vent my spleen about the Good Place's endgame. Thoughts are not in perfect order relative to show's chronology.

A major problem is that the Good Place Committee is extremely unfunny and un-compelling. 

i can't put my finger on why the good place committee, as it is written, fills me with an almost visceral contempt. like "do you get it they're too nice" "do you get it they're like US democrats" "do you get it they're spineless". the writers think they're being sooo clever. 

Across the show as a whole, the demons are funnier, but the "ensemble cast" of demons, if you will, are all rather one-dimensional. 

It might have been better had there been even one angel given some characterization and personality of her own, but no.

Speaking of characters, I felt that Shawn's character gets boiled down to wibbly eyes in "You've Changed, Man."

You know who gets perfect ends to their arcs? Mindy St. Claire and Vicky. We love to see girlbosses winning.

“Patty”

The Good Place turning your brain into mush is a decent idea but something about the execution comes off as lazy. Like the Good Place Committee, actually, now that I think of it. 

I mean, a dude from ancient Phoenicia makes a weak joke about anti-vaxxers, which raises too many questions on its own. So, the people of the Good Place can keep up with news of what's happening in the world? Wouldn't that at least impede the process of mind-mushification? Furthermore if they are SUCH mindless blobs, how do they manage to have opinions? Nooo, you had to throw out all your worldbuilding for one joke about vaccines. 

“Whenever you’re ready”

WHY does Michael Schur love to create epilogues that cross every "t" and dot every "i"? Why does he feel compelled to drag the characters through every last beat of their existence in the universe??

Tahani and Kamilah’s parents’ love fest for their girls felt a little too pat, but I DO love seeing Kamilah and Tahani being happy together. And as I've said before, Tahani’s ultimate endgame is the best of the main cast

I’m still not crazy about “Death 2.0” being presented as the ultimate solution that brings meaning to existence. 

I think a lot of my problems with the show boil down to, “the writers are a too enamored of their own cleverness.” 

Now I say all this as someone who really, deeply enjoys this show. This show deserves the fandom adulation it receives. But I really think they fumble in the last home stretch and I've tried, here, to articulate how.

[greatandquestionablecontent]

magical healing which is decidedly not comforting (edited)

@amonthofwhump 

in which Delta wakes up on a battlefield. time and bodies are wibbly wobbly and everything sucks.

Coming back from the dead was not unlike waking up after passing out from blood loss. In those long foggy moments, they had no past, no memory, no self. There was only the grey light above them, a gathering awareness of their own flesh, a cacophony that gradually filtered into sounds they could comprehend.

Delta was aware of the battlefield before they remembered why they were there. Long before recollections of before flickered back to them, they were aware of the pain and the jarring certainty that this body was not their own.

So, just like all the other times.

They’d been out in the hills, camping. No, they’d been hiking — ah, yes, they’d had that lightweight, battered backpack, that long trek through the forested mountains, weeks of aimless wandering, waiting to be found.

Rapid gunfire tore the air around them. Screaming, shouting… Were there horses crying out as well? The glowing grey above solidified into a mass of clouds, the sun shining vaguely through the whole sky at once.

The agony that sank in as this body became their own again was indescribable. They couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t join in the screams of the dying around them.

“Delta,” hissed a voice in their ear, or perhaps their own thoughts, audible above all the hell around them. “Are you back yet?”

They managed only to drag their eyes to the woman crouched over their body, her face and blood red jacket splattered with mud, her black hair escaping in wild coils from its tight braids.

“Stop bleeding,” she ordered. “Get back up. We’re retreating.”

All that came out from their feeble attempt to speak was a choked whimper through raw vocal cords, and they abruptly registered that they were missing several teeth.

And an arm.

And so much blood that continued to soak their own red, muddy jacket, blood saturating the earth they were cemented in, blood lukewarm against their icy skin.

It was so much more tempting to simply go back to sleep.

[skullinahat]

whenever i go font hunting for a project i have a bad habit of downloading fonts i'll never use just because they delight me, so i wanted to share some of them! im pretty sure literally all of them are public domain so if u like any of them pls download them too

for reference to what a normal font looks like, here's helvetica.

now, lets get into my favorites!

This is LT glockenspiel black. just fucking look at this thing. look at it. i love how they didnt really choose a consistent flourish and just go with everything. it feels almost satirically luxurious. 10/10 i try it in my projects whenever i want a laugh

Baymanat. i've got like seven calligraphic fonts like this ill never use and had to throw one of them in her 9/10 its nice

ANABELA. LOOK AT THAT HALFTONE. LOOK AT THOSE WIBBLY LETTERFORMS. WHAT IS HAPPENING 10/10

droog... if anybody has actually used or seen droog in a project show me. now. i have to see it. not only is it a 10/10 unique font deisgn i'll never use it also has a 10/10 name. thats fucking droog all right

Block Out!!! i actually love this font. it's so unreadable in practice but i dont care i NEED to find a way to use it. its so comitted to its gimmick it doesnt half ass any letterform i love it 10/10

monogram fonts are NOT supposed to be used this way but i dont care. look at this. painful. how are you even supposed to use monogram fonts anyway? 10/10

festa!! found this one just recently, it has such futuristic fantasy energy. it just borders on annoyance because of the mixture of circle sizes. never seen a font gimmick like it before 9/10

flegrei. why are there three super thin lines in this entire font and only three 9/10

garish monde. dear gods if i ever need a glitchy eroded font this is what ill use but i really and truly never have 9/10

graphic attitude. this font looks terrible if you do anything longer than a single word but im really really fond of it 10/10

and now we get into kingthings!! this is kingthings facetype, found this through another tumblr post abt it. kingthings was (maybe still is but i dont think so) a super profilic typeface designer with a lot of really weird stuff. im a huge huge fan. they also included a txt file with their fonts that includes a short description of each one and its adorable. here's what they had to say abt facetype.

Kingthings Facetype

I made this font having thought of the name - maybe not the usual way to go about font design. It is based upon Kingthings Exeter and can be used to embellish that font or just as decorated capitals. I enjoyed making this font and it was one of the quickest to do - i just got completely absorbed by the project. I hope you enjoy this daft font!

Kingthings Serifique UL wide. ridicoulous. the flourishes always were a little awkward but on the UL wide theyre obscene. 10/10

Kingthings Inkydinky

I am making a font called Kingthings Serifique (well, that's what it's called this morning) - I got side tracked - again! I was filling and testing fountain pens for the Charity Shop in which I work… Mother always said I'm a filthy Herbert. Doesn't a little Ink go a long way?

Kingthings spirogyra. 10/10

Kingthings Spirogyra

I doodle you know…I remember with wonder, Biology lessons at 'big' school, with Microscopes, and a filamentous pond weed called Spirogyra. There were spirals in it! and a nucleus like a star! and then 35 years later (or so), I doodled Kingthings Spirogyra idly watching TV.

kingthings sheepishly. 10/10 perfection

kingthings tendrylle 11/10 one of my faovirte unusable fonts in the entire world its so amazing in every way

kingthings widow- another 11/10. kevin you are truly my favorite typographer in the whole entire universe

kidskas- ive posted about this font before. look at it again. you need to. its amazing. perfection 11/10

labryinth NF. when in my life will i use this font? no idea. do i fucking love it with my entire heart? yes. look at the curves using half circles to keep the weight. its got two gimmicks and it sticks to them. 10/10

LOSTAR MY BEAUTIFUL BABY BOY. all my work has been to legibility focused to use this yet but once i get a project thats more whimsical you fucking know who im trying first 10/10

middle cove beach rocks. 10/10 this font fills me with love i dont think ill ever use it but it has my whole heart

milka aged! i love how soft and warm this font is (: 9/10

mister loopy. when i talk about fonts fuckin commiting to their gimmick, this is what i mean. look at this. this is not a font you just use for a project this is a font you build a project around 10/10

misty candy. 10/10 probably the most disturbing font i have i love how it looks like pre-chewed gum

ocean view initials. 10/10. exactly what it is

tuscan expanded. i love expanded fonts so much. i have actually used this font before and it is perfect for one very specific purpose and thats it

pesagi lemu regular. hate this. 10/10

ponderosa std medium. this makes me laugh out loud 10/10

popstars!! this font is the reason i wanted to make this list its so delightful 10/10

RABENK. ABSOLUTELY UNREADABLY IN PRACTICE BUT HAS ENERGY LIKE NO OTHER. WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING TO THE X. 11/10

i have like four more but i hit tumblrs image limit so i'll be back.

[fromthedeskoftheminister]

Simulated doesnt mean without Consequence pt 2.

Its a quarter past midnight and we tumbl down the site, yeah yeah yeah, the feeds are finally resting, good times bad decisions. yeah yeah yea, Its a quarter past midnight, and fic is getting posted.

Part 1 can be found HERE

Part 2: Coming Soon to an Ao3 Series near you! Simulated dosent mean without Consequence   It’s a stinging ache in his hand that brings him back to himself. Tango blinks, absently notices the taste of ash in his mouth, a sharp pain in his throat, a slight ache in his wrist, a stinging pain in his knuckles and a mild headache. He blinks again. He’s lost time, but he doesn't know how much or why but there are more empty tubes than there were before and no one is around in the central bay which means getting everyone else out has been put on pause for a moment because....

  He goes down the line. Ah. Doc's out. And given the number of prosthetics and other cybernetics the man has? Well, the hermits on welcoming duty are probably having a time of it wrangling the good doctor away from his lab and or into medical. Depending. Ok. So, he's lost some time, but not as much as he thought but why did he?

  Frantic motion from the corner draws his eye and he turns slightly to see Jevin waving at him. Confused he waves back. Jevin goes formless for a moment, slumping slightly before literally pulling himself back together. It’s... relief? Tango thinks as he watches Jev pantomime breathing at him. Which is good if a bit weird, given that Jevin is quite literally a slime and breaths through diffusion and not with lungs on account of not having any? Tango himself is breathing normally, despite the weird taste in his mouth and the pain in his throat.

  He sees the moment that Jevin realizes that he’s not comprehending. The slime pulls in on himself shrinking ever so slightly before wibbling and pointing to the pod kitty-cornered from him. The pod where all Tango can see is someone’s back from where they're splayed-out face down on the floor.

  Short term memory kicks in. It hits him.

               Impulse.

       Impulse collapsed.

  Impulse collapsed and Tango is trapped. He's stuck waiting for his tube to depressurize and THERE ARE NO HERMITS OUTSIDE THE PODS IN THE MAIN BAY.

  He breaths in, breaths out, ignores the little jet of flame that escapes through his clenched teeth. Jevin clearly sees it and pushes himself closer to the glass, watching unblinking with unmistakable worry.

  Ah. Ok. That's what happened last time. He lost his cool, lost control, and probably burned off the extra oxygen in his pod. Right. That tracks. It also explains his sore throat and mild headache. He breaths in again, holds it, and exhales a long steady stream that this time, thankfully, comes out flameless.

  He points at Impulse’s pod, cocks his head in question, and makes exaggerated breathing motions. Jevin nods and flashes him a thumbs up.

Right. Ok. He runs his clawed through filamentous blond hair, before tugging slightly on the strands as he thinks. Impulse will be fine, he tells himself. He's breathing normally, or so Tango is choosing to believe. Jevin would...well…probably notice if he wasn't. Hopefully.  Maybe?  Dang it, there has got to be something that he can do other than just waiting.

  Staring vacantly across the room Tango starts mentally running through his options, discarding most of them just as quickly as he thinks of them.  His eyes suddenly refocus on Impulse's Pod. Had Impulse moved?  Tango couldn’t be sure. Was what he thought he saw just the product of wishful thinking? No. There it was again. There was definitely movement in Impulse's Pod. Tango held his breath and leaned forward, hoping that it was Impulse pushing himself upright before jumping back as far as the pod would allow as the back of Impulse's shirt started writhing and roiling. As if something was trapped and trying to escape. Had Impulse somehow managed to pick up a bit of the void? Was that even possible?

  He waved at Jevin and pointed at Impulses pod, head cocked in a questioning matter. The shrug and mildly disturbed look he got in response did not fill him with confidence in the slightest.

  As suddenly as it started, the movement stopped. Tango held his breath. One, two, three... And when nothing happened, he let it out. Clearly whatever that had been, it was over. Unfortunately, it being over didn't seem to be bringing Impulse any relief however. Tango winced in sympathy as Impulse let out a full body shudder before rolling over, seemingly curled over his knees in discomfort or pain. The entire thing was hard to watch and Tango laid his hand upon the glass wishing yet again that he could do something.

 Another spasm from Impulse, this one accompanied by a visible wet patch  on the shirt had him throwing himself violently against the glass.  A wet, glossy black mass oozed out from under the shirt erupted from Impulse's back.  It collided against the walls of the glass tube with what was probably audible in the main bay, with a wet squelchy thud. The mass rose up and strained against the glass and hung suspended for a moment before collapsing inwards completely hiding Impulse from view.

  Startled red eyes met shocked black ones and Tango didn't need to be able to hear to hear Jevin's startled exclamation of "What in the Hels?"

  The black mass obscuring Impulse from view surged upwards yet again, this time punching through the glass as if it were mere paper. Glass and warped copper framing seemed to hang suspended in the air as time seem to crawl to a stop.  Tango was frozen in place as the scene advanced in fits and starts like bad stop-motion animation.  The dark mass continued to expand upwards. Flashes of light caught and rebounded off of the slowly falling shards reminiscent of torchlight on deepslate diamond ore or nether stars on black concrete. Despite being unable to hear through the tube Tango’s mind conjured the distorted chimes as fragmented metal and glass hit the grating on the floor one by one.

  Jerkily the darkness seemed to reach its fullest extent.  Instead of an amorphous mass it unfurled to reveal not some sort of void parasite but instead massive wings. The wings flexed slightly, a stretch of some sort. The odd angle and lighting of the room highlighted bones of gold, gilded claws and dark purple swirling patterns within the wing membrane. Tango can only stare in awe.  While he knew Impulse had wings, he’d never seen them like this. In fact, he can’t recall when he had last seen Impulse's wings at all, let alone shown off to their fullest extent like this.

  And then just like that, time snaps back to normal like a broken tripwire. Everything comes crashing down to the floor, glass, metal, wings and all. Tango stares, uncomprehending as he watches the wings fall, heading straight for the jagged edges of the pod and there's no visible attempt at all from Impulse to control their descent.

  He’s distantly aware of a shattering noise, a new ache across his knuckles and a momentary sharper pain in his foot as he scrambles across the room. Tango detours slightly by the central console on the way and slams his hand down on the very obvious emergency release button.  That takes care of the immediate danger to Impulse's wings.  It also has the side effect of releasing everyone else and the room is full of hissing as all the remaining active pods start to decompress, their glass enclosures starting to slide into the floor. He’s got no time to check on everyone else, as he rushes over to Impulse's pod as his friend’s wings crash to the floor.  Hopefully, the glass had retracted enough so that they won’t be cut by the jagged edges. Tango stumbles slightly over the lip of the pod and only a quick twist prevents him from landing atop his buddy. It’s the work of a moment to brace Impulse's head with his legs while using his clawed fingers to press themselves against Impulse’s neck, just below his pointier than normal ears.

  He waits, a moment, two, and there is nothing, nothing at all. But despite the lack of pulse Impulse lets out an audible whimper.  He pushes his head into Tango's hand and Tango almost smacks himself in the face. Right. Ok. Nonstandard biology. He shifts Impulse slightly before his other hand moves to the middle of Impulse's back, right between the wings and he tries again. He waits, steadying his own breathing as he focuses on the movement under his hands. There. Thud-bump. Thud-bump. Thud-bump. Heartbeat. Faster than normal, but steady. Breathing itself is also shallow, but unobstructed and regular and Tango hisses out a sigh of relief. Right. Now that he’s found it he can monitor the pattern.

  "That sounds promising, dude." Comes Jevin's voice from right beside him and Tango jumps. Or well as much as he can situated as he is letting out a splutter of sounds. He twists slightly, and there Jevin is, standing at the lip of the pod. "Sorry, dude. Impulse alright?"

  Tango shrugs and moves his hand, sketching a couple of glyphs into the air. "Probably not?" he offers as orange and blue sparks follow his fingertips forming two disconnected corners that he separates with a quick flick. He waits for the parallel lines to start to form between them before he continues. "I mean, he’s breathing and his heart rate is steady even if it’s faster than a one tick pulse but I mean this really isn't normal so clearly somethings wrong"

  "No kidding."

  There's a pause and when nothing more seems forthcoming Tango's attention returns to the floating design in front of him and the words spilling across it, scrolling almost faster than he can read them.

  "...thought he was human." someone else murmurs from behind him and Tango snorts at that.

  "Impy? Human? Well he does like his glamours." He says offhandedly then freezes. Glamours. Shit. Maybe? And scrolls back several lines. "Someone call Skizz." he demands, frantically scanning the code in front of him, all humor gone from his voice.

  "I got it" another voice says.

  Tango makes a noise in response, uncaring of who exactly is doing that as he rereads that last line of code. He vaguely notices a gentle be-doo-do be-doo-do comes from behind him, getting closer.  Tango still isn’t really paying attention, focusing instead on Impulse's spine as he gently taps down it.  He swears slightly as pale lavender and gold glyphs glimmer into existence. They look ragged and worn down. None of them appear to be at full strength with a few only barely visible. Some of the glyphs that Tango knows Impulse should have are either shattered or have disappeared entirely.  That’s clearly not good.  As he watches, another fades out, then breaks with a sort of audible snap, and Tango can feel Impulse's jaw start to rearrange itself from where its pressed against his leg. Crap.

  He breaths in, breaths out a steady stream of white blue flame. Tango reaches into the conflagration and twists a thread free. Tango looks at it for a moment "Devs beyond I hope this works" he mutters and brings it down, touching it to the weakest of the glyphs. Blue white meets gold, and the entire line flares. It pulses, once, twice as the lilac that should be royal purple is overwhelmed and replaced but now a regularly flickering blue as Tango feeds more of the fire woven thread into it.

  And just in time too, as a number on the display ticks over to zero, and an excited "PERALIEPOP" sounds right next to his ear.  "Whazzup Buddeh?"

 "Skizz." Tango all but growls cutting off any response Pearl, of course its Pearl, might give.

"Top?" comes the confused voice of Skizzleman from the comm next to him.

"Can you call Impulse?" He asks, watching the depleted number, waiting, hoping that it'll tick up.

"Dippledop? Sure, why? Isn't he with you?"

"Nonono, I mean Call Impulse," he says, emphasizing the last two words. He can almost hear Skizzleman's blink before what he has asked for clicks, "OH! Oh. Yeah. What's wrong with Professor Dippledop?"

"Best guess? Cascading Glamour failure? With," he squints at the lines he'd highlighted, "Aural exhaustion and a compounding geas? I think? I'm not fluent in this, man. His glyphs and mine are very, very different things."

"But are they holding?" Skizz asks over what sounds like chests or shulkers  being flung open.

"No. I'm holding them for him. He's out, Skizz," Tango mutters.  He breathes a sigh as the number he’s been watching finally starts to tick upwards.

"Right." The sounds of more shuffling comes over the line. "Ok. I’ve got everything. Give me 5 minutes to set up then drop your hold, unless you wanna come with him."

"Cant. Someone's gonna have to summonificate him to season 9 when we get there."

"Gotcha, gotcha buddy. Right, set a timer, I'm doing this on the dot, Catch ya later Pop n Top."

  There was a click as the call disconnected and Tango took another glance at the glyphs on Impulse's back. They were pulsing now, in time with to the slowing heartbeat.

"Ok." he announced to the room at large, "Now he'll be Ok." he looked up at the crowd of hermits who had gathered around him. "Or he will in 5 minutes. No one suffering decomp sickness? I didn’t bother to check what the levels were at before I hit the release."

Theres a general murmmer of all goods, and a couple of doing fines and he nods, attention dragged back down to Impulse who still isnt.

"I've set a timer," Said Pearl. "And we're fine, but you need some bandages, mate"

Tango blinked at her, "What?"

"I got it," said Zed, pushing through a group of hermits, carrying a small white box.

"But I'm fine?" Tango protested as Jevin gestured towards his foot.

"You're really not dude, you left a trail."

"I left a what?"

Jevin doesn’t answer, just gestures. Tango looks back at the rest of the bay. It’s more of a mess than he realized. Shards of metal and glass are scattered across the room, radiating outwards not only from Impulse's pod but also from his own. A strange colored goopy trail of footprints appears on the concrete by the central console and then disappears again on the grating. He squints at it, confused to see what looks like blood mixed with suspension fluid. "Who's bleeding?"

"You, Tango. Foot. Now!" Zed says.

Well that answers that question Tango thought. "Kinda attached to those Zed."

"And we're kinda attached to you. Foot. Now."

  Tango's prevented from answering as Pearl states, "Tango, let go whatever it is you’re holding for Impulse in 5... 4... 3... 2... 1" and an alarm goes off, shrill and right in his ear. Tango winces and pulls his hands back, swiping through the thread that’s now trailing off into nothing and it fades. The glyphs on Impulses back fade slightly, but no one gets a chance to see by how much because moments after he's let go, there’s a “vworp” and all that’s left where Impulse was is a shower of purple particles, redstone dust and a few gold nuggets.

  There’s a moment of stunned disbelief, and Tango can feel everyone’s eyes on him as he stands, scooping up the redstone and gold which he pockets. He'll figure out the enscryption on the gold later so that he knows where he’s gonna have to summon Impulse from, but his job is done now and he is very aware that his foot hurts. "Ow!" he says looking down at it, and at the smear of blood that is oozing out from under his right foot.

  It’s his ow that breaks the spell apparently, as the hermits around him start clamoring for answers as Zedaph tugs him to sit grabbing his foot and holding it hostage. Looking at this crowd of goofs that he calls family it’s all Tango can do to not laugh as most of them try to reign in their curiosity as they take turns making sure everyone else is all right some of them clearly itching to address the winged elephant which is no longer in the room. He knows he needs have to give some sort of answer for them eventually but it can wait, he thinks with a wince as Zedaph removes a piece of glass from his foot.  He just hopes he can come up with something reasonable explanation wise until he has a chance to talk with Impulse and figure out just how much his buddy is o.k. with the other hermits knowing.

[lootthekey]

Eldrazi Study- Part 3: Kozilek

Kozilek, Titan of Distortion, is personally my favorite of the Titans, as he is actually the one who is currently overall the least clear what the hell he is doing. This is because his purpose dwells not in life or death, but in the in between. Kozilek distorts reality and shapes it into what is needed. His brood is the least straight forward, as what I believe their purpose is is to essentially not cull or rebirth the land, but reshape it from its culling so that rebirth is possible. What makes this so hard to understand is this would likely involve distorting another entity we know so little about, which is a World Soul.

What Does Kozilek Do?

Kozilek essentially takes the land and distorts into a strange bismuth-like substance. We have no idea what exactly this material is, but my theory is it is what could be best described as a “universal material”. If my theory is correct, Kozilek and his brood essentially transform a plane into a world that is incredibly easy to mutate and mold, at least for the Eldrazi. This is why a lot of artwork that showcases Kozilek’s brood shows them in the earth or near an opening in the earth.

But what about living entities that Kozilek and his brood come in contact with? Well, Kozilek’s brood likely comes in after or alongside Ulamog’s brood. While Ulamog’s brood is well suited for combat, Kozilek’s brood can still engage in combat by using their terramorphic abilities to equally distort the minds of living beings. Much like how you can harm someone with construction tools, Kozilek’s reality warping abilities can equally ravage someone.

Why Does Kozilek Do This?

The “how” as far as how Kozilek does all this is very unknown. Wibbly wobbly magic and all that. So instead, why does he do this? Well, after Ulamog crosses through a world and renders it basically dead, Kozilek moves through and distorts it in preparation for Emrakul. While Kozilek seems to be able to distort the world regardless of Ulamog’s presence, Ulamog doubtlessly renders it especially easy for Kozilek to distort the world as no life will be there to interrupt his processes.

Ulamog and Kozilek need to carry out their processes for their sister Emrakul. As stated by Emrakul, the soil “fought back” against her when she was on Innistrad. Kozilek needs to use his magic to make sure this doesn’t happen, and most importantly needs to make sure the World Soul is prepared. This is likely why Kozilek submerged himself beneath ground when he was on Zendikar. Not only was he distorting the ground itself, but also was likely “communing” with the World Soul.

Conclusion

To summarize, Ulamog comes in and attempts to nullify resistance. Kozilek then comes in with or behind his brother and readies the world for mutation by his sister Emrakul. He is not life or death. He is best described as a titan of substance and transition. There is a lot that is unclear as far as Kozilek’s exact purpose goes, but that is what makes him so interesting. He is very vexing.

[asknarashikari]

I just realized some of the reasons I personally don’t like Kamen Rider Zi-O. The first is that he just rehashes a lot of earlier things, time travel was already done by Den-O, the worlds merging was done by Decade, and the overpower abilities was done by Ex-Aid via God Gamer lvl billion. The tributes were lackluster. The ending with everything being undone and Sougo giving up his powers and chance to be king to save the world was nice, but the Toei had to undo it.

I'm going to try to respond to this bit by bit, I hope you don't mind

The first is that he just rehashes a lot of earlier things, time travel was already done by Den-O, the worlds merging was done by Decade, and the overpower abilities was done by Ex-Aid via God Gamer lvl billion.

On this point, I'm not really sure I agree. Yes those themes have been done in previous seasons... but Zi-O's not the first time that they were rehashed anyway. So singling out Zi-O for these isn't necessarily fair imo.

Like, while the time travel theme wasn't overtly present in another series, a few stories within some seasons have time travel plots. Drive had a few movies with wibbly wobbly timey wimey shenanigans, including its crossover with Ghost. The worlds merging thing was a whole plot point in Build and its crossover, HeiGen Final. And while I'm not quite sure what you mean by "overpower abilities" Riders with broken abilities are a dime a dozen at that point.

The tributes were lackluster.

For me it was more the lack of consistency with the quality of these crossovers and the representation of the series. There were some series that got a really good showing, like say Den-O... and there were others that got absolutely butchered like Ryuki (especially where Rider Time was concerned)... and there was Kuuga who didn't even get a single returning cast member.

I also had issues with the whole timeline erasure plot they had in the beginning. I felt like they either shouldn't have done it at all or they should've stuck their guns on it. Obviously, they chickened out due to backlash from the people who loved the series that got erased. Which plays into the next point...

The ending with everything being undone and Sougo giving up his powers and chance to be king to save the world was nice, but then Toei had to undo it.

In this case though, it's pretty much a given they would backtrack on it because they were already planning the inevitable V Cinema and especially the crossover, which would require Sougo to be Zi-O for obvious reasons. And even worse was that we knew that they were more or less going to handwave away how Sougo would regain his powers.

So... why bother do it at all? Why alienate the audience with that kind of ending when they know perfectly well that Sougo will come back as Zi-O anyway?