#which is why they're still trying to learn all these things abt him and read him better

[seiwas]

sellllllll it's meeeeee. hehehehehehehehehhehe

so for ur writing exercises.... deku + light? please? pretty please?

:3c

heheh heheh hehe niku. this will be the death of me. me writing izuku for the first time 🥲 i will only do this for you </3

contains: established relationship, spoilers for the end of the manga, aged up deku but sometime in between the final outcome (he doesn't get the h*** s*** from bakugo yet), mentions of sex and scars

deku + light

izuku only sleeps with the lights off.

it isn't uncommon; many people you know can't sleep with even just a sliver of light turned on somewhere in the room. but the difference with izuku, you learn, is not that he's unable to stand the light―it's that he refuses to.

you quickly pick up on it the first few times he sleeps over.

he fidgets in bed, pretty badly, actually. the nightlight you sleep with glows a warm yellow, illuminating the side of your face and coating him in its afterglow. you chalk it up to nerves, how he pulls at his sleeves and adjusts his position constantly; he is, after all, one of the most anxious people you know.

and this relationship―it's new. heck, even you feel a little jittery with his arm wrapped around you.

the rhythmic tapping on your hip only increases pace. you don't think he realizes it, so your hand gently reaches for his, intertwining your fingers as you turn around in his arms.

he's close, nearly touching you nose-to-nose; the proximity leaves you fuzzy, a little ticklish, so you giggle, a soft "oops," as the freckles dusting his face almost glisten under the warm light.

"hi," you whisper, meeting his eyes; they stare back at you wide in surprise, "can't sleep?"

he looks almost guilty at your question, as if you’ve caught him with the one thing he's been trying to keep from you.

"just—" his voice comes out louder than intended, prompting him to chuckle nervously as he readjusts his volume, "just winding down, sorry."

you inch closer, nuzzling his nose lightly, "it's okay."

"did i wake you?" he asks, cheeks flushing pink as his eyebrows furrow in immediate concern. his expression is something caught between stifling a grin and feeling sorry.

you shake your head against the pillow you share, strands of your hair tangling with his. "just winding down," you tease, watching as his gaze turns softer, eyelids drooping heavier.

sometimes, you think, izuku holds the world in his eyes―a deep, dark green, the color of life. most times, they look at you with wonderment, bright and alive; photos from inko tell you they're the eyes of his inner child.

on nights like this one, however, they hide a depth in them weighted by what you can only assume is time, and all that has happened to him in such a short span of it.

you try your best to understand what lies beneath them, knowing full well he'll never tell you outright what truly bothers him.

"is it the light?" you bring up, some time after laying in silence.

"hm?" he clarifies.

"do you have a hard time sleeping with the nightlight?"

his eyes widen briefly once more, as if shocked that you've caught him again. these split second reactions are ones you've learned to be attentive to when it comes to izuku.

"no," he tries to lie, but you know better as you turn to your nightstand and reach for its switch, "you don't–"

"it was hurting my eyes," you quickly make up an excuse, tucking yourself closer under his chin as you cut off his attempt to deny it again.

finding out that the light was the problem was the easy part—

you'd begun to notice much earlier on that izuku was barely rested on the nights he'd spend at your place. it was only when your old nightlight broke that you began to notice him waking up much later than you did, groggily rousing from a deep sleep.

—what was hard, was figuring out why.

at first, you suspected it was his scars.

"s-sorry, it's not—" he'd warned you, right as your hands gripped the hem of his shirt the first time you were about to have sex, "—it's not nice."

you didn't care though; you still don't care, and you've made that abundantly clear to him since. you love izuku and all his parts―all the nicks and jaggedy pieces of skin that make up who he is.

when you eventually ask him about it, with a request that he be honest with you for once, he tells you that it is and it isn't―the reason why he exclusively sleeps with the lights off, that is.

it's an odd, comforting relationship he has with his body—that he is simultaneously grateful and sorry for how its become a canvas, both painted and marred to symbolize japan’s historic last stand.

you find out the real reason when you catch him staring at his hands.

he does it often, when he thinks you aren't looking—his fists bunched up in the same way he used to watch the power of one for all course through his fingertips; the same way he used to prepare them in battle.

there’s a faraway look in his eyes that lingers, you notice—a little wistful if anything.

“do you miss it?” you finally ask. he gives you the same shocked look he does every time, as if he’s been caught with a secret he’s been trying to hide.

he’s learned a fair bit about you now, too, though—lying to you is futile when you’ve perfected reading his truth. he stares at his fists again as you take a seat beside him, moving to give you space. you rest your head on his shoulder gently, waiting.

“sometimes,” he admits, but you know it’s an understatement.

“i think about the vestiges a lot. i miss them the most, i think,” he continues, clenching his fists tightly, “i always try to reach out to them, but i guess it doesn’t work that way.”

“i… i try to replicate the right conditions every night, but…” then he lets go, stretching his fingers out wide. the scars on the surface ripple through his skin, telling its own story.

you hum, acknowledging what he means. silence sits with the two of you as you take his hand in yours, slowly unfurling his fingers until his palm reveals itself to you. it’s rough to the touch, seasoned with hard work and all that he’s been through.

“is that why you prefer the dark?” you ask softly, after some time.

it's not often that you stay up later than izuku does. when you do though, you catch him shifting in bed, moving from side-to-side. you pretend you aren't awake, but you hear him mumble their names, dwindling in volume as he dozes off to sleep.

he stares at his palm for a moment before he admits quietly, "yeah." his brows furrow as if contemplating whether to say more, but he shakes his head, dark green strands swaying to the beat of his embarrassed chuckle, "nevermind, it's silly."

"it's not."

you intertwine your fingers, sandwiching his hand between yours. a slight sheen glosses over his eyes as he tilts his head up to look at you. he draws in a breath, before it spills over.

"it's..." he finds the words, and you squeeze his hand in comfort, "it's easier to believe it was all real when the lights are out, and that maybe it can happen again."

[neolxzr]

hey you get it its an alien stage alien au—wait a minute... this is just invader zim !!!

some more random info abt this au under the read more ^_^ open at your own risk its a lot of yapping

till makes it his mission to expose the aliens (mostly ivan. he has personal beef with him) to the rest of humanity, but he's the boy who cried wolf. no one believes him because he's been talking about aliens and bigfoot and mothman and whatever nonstop all his life.

till loves the supernatural but also fears it. it consumes most of his waking thoughts. he doesn't like how quickly the aliens grow close to mizi out of a desire to protect her from the (presumed) threat. he's kinda like if dib invader zim was some gay art kid instead of like a supergenius

this threatening feeling comes from till assuming that ivan and sua are on earth for some kind of conquest and or abduction reasons. are they actually? who knows...

mizi is a bit of a hopeless romantic and finding out that sua was an alien only served to make her fall for her more. she could think of nothing more romantic than this scenario, actually. even till screaming danger at her cannot deter her from her love

ivan fights with till and riles him up because he finds how expressive he is utterly fascinating. he says its to "learn more about humans" but mostly he just wants till's attention. he himself doesn't know why he wants this attention, though.

sua and ivan experience a range of emotions in a similar way to humans, yet their species is discouraged from acting emotionally and isnt taught about what any of their feelings mean. all they know, at the start, is that these humans draw some kind of strange feelings out of them that they've never felt before.

(it sticks with the overall theming of alnst being about trying to understand exactly what love means.)

ivan and sua's earpieces are multipurpose tools. they're connected directly to the brain and can't be taken off. they can be used to generate their disguises (its a hologram type of thing), works as a translator so they can communicate with other alien species, etc.

what looks kind of like a nose on the aliens' faces is not a nose. their antennas are used as their olfactory system (they are also quite sensitive)

till is no longer crushing on mizi at this point in his life. sometime during middle school mizi came out to him as a lesbian and so he told her he liked her and it was a whole thing and they both cried. it ended up serving to strengthen their friendship. its been about 4 years-ish since then and theyre still inseparable

till works some kind of shitty service job part time, at which he met hyuna. she's like his cool older college friend and sort of older sister. he plays with her band sometimes

this takes place in who the fuck knows where midwest united states, and the humans are korean-american. till is first generation and usually speaks korean with his mom at home

it takes a while for till to first get a glimpse of ivan and sua's undisguised forms, though when he finally does something about them seems oddly familiar to him.

mizi sees sua's undisguised form long before till does. she does not tell him this

luka is an alien too. wonder what he's up to...

ok thats all love you bye ^_^

[townslore]

if you're comfortable, i would love to know more about the akechi npd headcanon. i think it's a rlly interesting take on his character and i wanna learn more abt npd bc i have bpd and ig im interested in what people experience with the other cluster b personality disorders? i just kinda wanna know why you think he has it and also maybe some of the mental stuff he has to experience with it. doesn't have to be detailed or personal i dont wanna make u uncomfy! i just cant stop thinking abt this hc haha :)

im actually on a mental health break right now, but this ask intrigued me so im answering it anyway. first off thank you for staying kind throughout the whole thing :)

its kind of hard for me to really describe why i think a character has/is something, because things like personality disorders are still a wide spectrum and every person experiences things differently, and i dont wanna make it seem like theres a one-way to have npd, but im gonna try anyway!

there is a site which helped me immensely throughout my self-diagnosis, so if you want to read more about the topic than what im gonna say here, here u go:

lets start simple and the thing that makes it most obvious to me: the engine room dialogue.

people with npd can heavily rely on other people for their self-esteem, because narcissists usually have a very low one. thats why they take on many tasks ("i was extremely particular about my life, my grades, my public image—so someone would want me around!") and might overwork themselves for more praise and acknowledgement ("you wanted to be acknowledged, didn't you? to be loved?") because its what they need to not constantly crash. a crash is something that happens when you dont get enough supply—which can be words of affection, praise, acknowledgement, etc—and you internalize it, doubt yourself, feel disgusting and generally you get to a really low point. this is just speculation, but i can see goro having a ton of those, especially during the time the phantom thieves get popular and he becomes public enemy nr 1. thats also why i drew him thinking "i really need supply rn but i'd rather die than ask for attention" because vulnerability is also a big thing people with npd can struggle with. we dont want to be seen as weak—our narcissism is essentially a shield, so we're seen as tough, when in reality, our egos can be very fragile.

one thing that the engine room makes very clear and also other interactions goro has with akira, is that hes very envious of others who have had it better than him. especially someone like akira, who was thrown away by society just like he was, was able to move past it, found friends and is acknowledged by many people. goro is jealous of it all, and thats the thing; people with npd can feel like they're supposed to be special ( and to me, with goro explaining how he got his personas, and how he often calls others stupid, its clear that he does feel that way about himself to a certain degree ) and anyone who threatens that status, anyone who seems much more special than we are is seen as a legitimate threat. its an ugly feeling and it can make us hate even those we love for some time.

this attributes to dysregulation of our emotions too. people with npd often feel their emotions, especially negative ones, way more intense than they actually should be and have difficulty calming down due to that. negative emotions often linger for a long period of time and its hard to move on so we hold grudges. now this might come to no surprise to anyone that goro is a very angry and sad person. especially in the engine room its clear that even after the others extend their hands out to him, its difficult for him to comprehend and he still acts rather mean and calls them idiots for trying to "save" him. when someone with npd is experiencing a multitude of negative emotions, it may cause them to avoid other people or act aggressive towards them because they feel trapped. theres many explanations as to why goro is the way he is in the 3rd semester, and i dont think only one of them has to be correct, but i do think that with the knowledge of whats happening ( like: being under the control of someone else again, or having to work with people who are unpredictable and who have seen you at your lowest point ) makes him act out to keep all of them, especially akira, at bay.

in the duel against akira—im sorry i cant really quote it, i just have a general idea of it in my head rn—i read what he says in a way that makes it clear that he struggles with a superiority AND inferiority complex, which sounds stupid at first i know, but its fairly easy to explain. like i already said, a narcissist's self-esteem is usually pretty low and we rely on others to know how to feel about ourselves. theres two traits of npd that are necessary traits to have: being self-centered and feeling entitled to good treatment, and seeking admiration from others/liking to be the center of attention. so there is some kind of superiority complex going on, at least thats what i would call it in goro's ( and my ) case. we can feel on top of the world in one moment, but once we have a crash or experience intense negative emotions, its back to being the worst human being on earth. i dont think its ooc to say that goro hates himself, as some like to claim he only ever thinks hes better than everyone else. i think that just attributes to harmful stigma. with everything goro experiences in life, coping with narcissism to hide a fragile sense of being just makes sense to me.

theres more i could probably add here but this thing is long enough as is. please do keep in mind that many of my headcanons for goro are me projecting—but that doesnt mean theres no basis for it in canon as well, as i've tried to explain here. at first i actually thought he could have bpd, but i dont know enough about it to really judge that—so it could still very well be that, or both, i dont really know how it works! im rather new to this as well, and at first i was scared of doing any research because npd is so heavily stigmatized. i wish there were more people like you, anon.

if you have any more questions feel free to ask them :)

[a-bad-case-of-the-stephs]

Hi hello me again- recently checked out the suicide squad issue with Arthur that you recommended to me. Very funny how the group is handled in that issue versus how they're portrayed in JLA (same writer too! Hence the reason they were likely pulled for the first issue. A funny note on the difference in tone between eras in my mind (early 90s versus early 00s)

Anyway there isn't too too much insight into Arthur beyond the fact that a) he has no qualms about hurting kids even before he learns that they're not really people. Gee I wonder why. Certainly not a pattern of behaviour he's shown before. Nosiree

And b) he says Steph is "just as messed up as him"- patently false but I imagine a comforting thought for Arthur, that Steph's vigilantism is just the product of an addled mind much the way his criminality is. And not that Steph is everything he isn't.

Also that despite his clear disregard for his wellbeing or her as a person, he still wants her to think highly of him and knows heroism is the way to do that. Whether he wants this bc he sees Steph as 'beneath him' and needing to know her place (that is to say, looking up to him) OR if deep down he knows Steph is a better person than him (as crystal says, it's "surprising that she turned out so wonderful" given the circumstances- something I'm sure Arthur is smart enough to recognise when hes not deluding himself) and wants her approval, much the same way he craves the approval of other criminals. I like the second reading a lot bc it lends credence to my own view that Arthur's abuse and even his crime is driven by insecurity about his capabilities and station in life!

And that's just everything I was able to waffle on about from about 9 panels! Neat :] reread robin 111 for the umpteenth time, reread all 3 issues of her robin stint (her initial reaction to being made robin AND the cheating thing is. Ooc and contrived respectively but AUGHHH SHE'S SO CUTESY SHE'S TRYING TO HARD SHE'S SO EXCITED TO BE ON THE TEAM AGAIN AND THEN BATMAN. HE. AUGHHH BOILING HIM LIKE A LOBSTER!!!). Robin/spoiler special is probably next, and the latter half of her batgirl...

First of all THANK YOU for getting it…. I’m always thinkng and saying things like ‘Batman should be boiled like a lobster’ and ‘Batman should be slammed into a wall at maximum velocity’ and ‘what if I exploded Batman with my mind’. Like a great guy in isolation im extremely compelled by certain aspects of his character but when im thinking abt stephanie brown (which is like all the time) hes.. he’s so.. lowkey want to kill him with a rock.

Arthur’s “just as messed up” line makes me insane. Like, as you pointed out, not true. But also for the aspects of her that are a little messed up... Whose fault is that. Who could possibly be to blame for that Arthur Brown. Who messed her up..I wonder how that came about. Strange. Guess we’ll never know.

Like Cluemaster is seemingly ascribing any potential “messed up-ness” to a genetic or maybe fate(?) based factor, oh Steph she is just as messed up as me, we’re alike she’s inevitably messed up for inevitable reasons. Instead of the much more obvious and true reason Steph might be a little fucked up: because he abused her throughout her childhood. Like Arthur is not only projecting he’s also engaging in Next level shirking of responsibility.

His whole wanting Steph to know thing is so Urghh because even if he did mean it in a good way, like even if it was his weird way of trying to show he cares about her opinion of him, Steph takes it so poorly and is understandably sent spiraling.

Abt Steph’s time as Robin that’s pretty much exactly how I feel. Like I hate how rushed the whole situation is and how despite being in Steph’s pov we don’t really get the rationalization that is there for why she’s so quick to believe the worst of Tim. Like her time as Robin isn’t written in a way that gives her the benefit of the doubt or seems all too invested in presenting an in depth understanding of her POV as valid. And then it ends and it’s shallow and then war games tries its absolute hardest to make everything Steph’s fault forever so that it’s okay that she dies.

But on the other hand…. She gets to do headstands and jump for joy and shake her fists in the air in excitement!! She’s so damn happy! She does a backflip!! She blabs to Cass about how happy she is that she’s good enough! Who could have figured that she was good enough after all! Haha what if she isn’t irreversibly bad because her of her dads actions!! lol!! Who could have guessed!!!

I’m Exploding Batman with my mind.

Sorry this took me a hot sec, just finished my own finals, thank u so so much for your thoughts as always peace and love

[walrus150915]

I AM DEEPLY SORRY BUT

I thought about Goldenheart fankids for a while so I've decided to make my own!

Now, it's important to acknowledge that I honestly believe that they wouldn't have kids post-movie. That makes sense thematically and it's kind of poetic if you think about it (a gay man being the end of his bloodline which started all this copaganda n stuff) but I😭😭 I couldn't stop thinking about this!!

I present to you:

THEIR KIDDO YUPIEEEEE

Some fun facts abt them:

- Aquila is a gender neutral name which means "eagle". I thought it'd be funny to keep the tradition of their weird medieval names. Eagle Braveman, a child of Godsfood Goodatsex and Staircase Braveman, gotta love that💅

- also yea. I gave them Bal's surname bc there's no way in the world Ambrosius would want to give them his surname. His bloodline ends with him in an good old gay tradition😎😎

- I think they'd be a happy accident tbh (if we're talking about seahorse dad situation shfjj)

- Nimona didn't expect to love them as much as she did but now they're literally her favorite person😭 siblings are REAL (although I think Nimona is like- sibling-uncle-aunt-family friend figure sorta kinda)

- About their personality? Well, they're reserved, not much of a talker, kinda socially awkward and overthinks a lot (just like their papas)

- They hate sports of all kinds like they CAN'T stand it. Also they don't know those knight traditions n stuff and have never held a sword in their life- I think that's a good "f u" to the system which expected children to become weapons bc Ballister, Ambrosius and especially Nimona would never let this child repeat all the stuff they all came through

- I don't think they even talked about their knightly upbringing to Aquila, and when Aquila asked about it they tried to avoid answering so bad

- About parenting btw- Ambrosius and Ballister both beat the "emotionally detached Asian father" allegations. These two are WAY too attached I'd say😭 they can be overprotective (cough cough Ballister) or overbearing (I see ya Ambrosius) sometimes (although Ambrosius is overprotective as well, if not more than Bal)

- Ambrosius tries his best to not repeat his parents' mistakes and let Aquila live a happy, relaxed childhood, but he slips from time to time. "Why did I have to work so hard to achieve even a little bit of acknowledgement from my parents and now this kid expects me to praise them even for the smallest of things" kind of deal. He slowly learns to relearn this way of thinking but- yeah, bro still has those good ol' Asian dad quirks

- I think Ballister had loving parents yet they couldn't provide for him or care for him properly because of poverty and social injustice. So now he makes sure Aquila has everything they need and are loved enough. It's really hard not to be overprotective of your child when you and your husband had an upbringing like theirs😭😭

- Aquila is kind of embarrassed by them because I think they both would be the type of dad who drives them to high school and makes them say "I love you too, dad" in front of their peers (like that into the spiderverse scene)

- With that said, they three all love each other despite all the hardships and stuff bc they're a FAMILYYYYY

- Nimona would be THE best person in the world for Aquila, she's their role model of sorts, I even think she'd be what helped them to realize they're enby in the first place

- Nimona would always be there for Aquila and would always be on their side even when they're in a fight with their dads

- They're the best buddies ever - Ballister expected Nimona to be jealous ("older kids of the fam" deal) but she wasn't in the slightest!

- Imagine Ballister and Ambrosius trying to make Aquila say "abba" or "appa", but the first thing they mumble is "Nim!" oh Nimona would DIE FROM LAUGHTERRR😭😭

Some general hcs:

- Ambrosius would read bedtime stories to Aquila when they were a kid and would miss this horribly as they grew up

- Ballister would make them clockwork toys

- Aquila loves sewing and customizing things

- Idk their sexuality honestly but I know that they love girls💅

- Ambrosius would distance himself from his family so much that Aquila barely knows them

- I think Aquila is aware of the whole Gloreth situation but doesn't care that much for her - after all, they know that it was some random kid 1000+ years ago whom everyone took as a hero when she wasn't

Some sketches of them shshwjne!!

Please don't ask me why Ballister looks like my grandpa😭

(Speaking of Ballister- I think at some point of Aquila's toddlerhood him and Ambrosius laid in their bed and Ambrosius was like: "Babe, what do you think of getting a second kid?"

Then Aquila immediately started crying in another room and Ambrosius signed heavily, standing up from the bed: "Yknow what? Forget what I said")

[renticat]

☹️ stuff from nightmare

but also.. It's a reality. I mean it becomes nightmare because it doesn't resolve in reality.

Why can't I be pretty with this hair, ofc because in this world particularly this place is not. Gosh I mean it's not great now because it keeps falling not like before. Well I never like my hair because they told me to. And I was pretty to here standard because my hair never show up. Yeah just like him, never show up in real life and just my nightmare.

I can't even go swimming in my dreams, you know I can swim in this place, same place but then I can't even dream about it. I can't swim in real life, because I almost drown back then and idk it's still not great and I feel like I can't trust the water and just float around so instead I sink. Yeah that's not how the science works because at the surface level there's buoyancy and it helps object to afloat, unless you're already in some depth and gravitational force always pull everything down. But I feel like I just always pull myself down, literally, figuratively.

Hey and my jackass audio jack port okay that's bad joke, somehow it works when it's always not working and giving me anxiety because I always use my earphones, wired ones as it's just sound better. But I can't do it anymore, so now I almost never in my earphones as the bluetooth one is kinda suck and needs charge. But what's another option? I just now blast on the speaker but whenever I called I can't hear the other person clearly esp if they have accent other than american. Lol I am joking but also not, as in speaker is like mumbling to my ear and they speak so fast forgetting I am not a native speaker and I mostly listen to the american show so it's different, the british, and british texas aka australia and other european accent which are funny to my ears. Okay not that I have someone to talk again. It's kinda lonely now. But they're liars. Maybe I am going deaf, yeah prolong to blasting music in my headset even my friends back then always aggressively joke abt how it's so loud and people can just hear the song and whenever someone from across the street can't get my attention at all because I was into whatever I am listening.

They don't know what's sad about hat it's all my coping strategies, because my "lovely" parents never stop yelling at me, and again sucks only me and even when they're not yelling I can always listen because they're talking so loud. My hearing becomes sensitive it's flight and fight so I turn every sound in real life with rock music, I kinda like it so much probably because I was mad but I can't channel it properly as I am wrong if I defending myself but they're never wrong even they're telling me horrible shit that is not the truth.

I always have thing for guitar, it's just sound great. I don't like electronic music actually, unless the lyrics are good, and what I mean good is mostly sad songs cause those I can relate to that... Zedd was good back then, esp the true colors album, most of the time I need to listen the riff of guitar. It's just great escape from the shitty reality.

I wish I can play guitar, but I never had one and now I had the ugly ones I don't want to practice because I felt soo old and it takes great willpower to remember all the key and how to move your hand, is not easy and I wish I can just master it which is impossible lol. Idk learning with myself is not something I can do. Learning like doing something, but if it's just reading, I can do it, absorbing everything and then practice I feel shit. Maybe it was fear that I need to do it perfectly otherwise I am stupid and what's the point in that. So yeah I was "smart" because I can absorb easily, anything in theory if they explain in clear enough but doing it it's sucks. It's trauma because everything that I did was never enough and always something wrong to them.

And it makes me unwilling to try anything. I want to, but also I can't back then, dancing comes naturally and singing though i guess is because everyone can do that. I believe so, or not. You know there's another intelligence other than just IQ, I mean those for solving problems and general knowledge which also if you never had taught that is hard, but like basic solving skill that idk can ve measured. But there are like language, spatial, interpersonal, those kind of things and kinesthetic is one of my strong suit beside languages. So yeah that's why I probably love to dance and sing, too bad can never do it properly for sure, and not to mention I am good at language cause I am not but if I listen to a song and I really like it no matter the language, I can copy them almost perfectly, and yeah many people can do it, not so.. Speaking like almost the same it's not easy but also not that hard. Some people have gift, that's what they called and my gift is copying someone else. Lol, I mean if I am willing to listen enough many things and really learn the language I can master quickly compare to others but like some people don't even have the aptitude to learn different languages, because the arrogance okay yeah like they think their language is better than anyone else also like just what's the point if they never use it , and also the truth is, is not as easy as people said again unless you have the aptitude of the gift but talent itself not guarantee if you don't feel passionate about it as it's something to learn again and again.

Is easy.. My ass. I wish some people have music talent that's makes them easily to play instrument but it can be taught also esp since you're young and it will be easier but then how if the doctrine of some religion makes music sound abhorrent and label it as sin and wasteful ofc not gonna teach the kids those. This I have the aptitude of music learning, art also like drawing but don't really have the gift. My drawing can be so-so but yeah needs professional guidance also self taught is just talent itself because not many people can just fo autodidact, learning something and really not in theories but also practice and they are so cool I kinda envy those people.

I don't have talent other than copying someone, it sounds so bad but when I thought about religion things, it makes sense because they never want you to think about yourself and just copy what's there because they know better. You can ask some of the things but then asking too much also not recommend as you get punished and out for just not believing it hard enough and try to rationalize everything when something, there is no "logic" for everything. Gosh if people live like that there is no technology or science whatsoever.

But there's also another person who believe but also still doing science, even though is kinda cherry picking and contradictory to each other. Well maybe in some believe, nah they see it as wisdom. I am not against it, it's just some believe if they're pursued in manner that is so rigid and almost authoritative without any room to grow, it becomes just harmful and backwards ideology. Gosh sure I have the gift of language cause I was talking about earphones and now somehow I end up talk about entirely different topic. In my mind is not entirely different though, there's some link to it and yeah deep personal rage. I know it's different from people to people but many people, ofc can't play instrument esp if they have parents that is against that because in the supposedly perfect teaching, you shouldn't enjoy music that much so not even think to learn to play that.

Or doing any shit that sadly the passion of some people. You can rebel but there's no support or whatever back then. Also it's too late. Even know my aptitude to learn different languages and culture are gone as I just bumped into many unkind people haha. It's sad. But culture is just like the stereotypes of what supposedly people living in certain area in with this mass globalization it's dying as people try to live the same. Just like the local language that is not imposed anymore and I am kinda ashamed about myself because I should be able to spoke it fluent but parents never taught me for real and then it's just gone, I've told about this before. Oh, it's entirely another topic about also how the religion can wiped out culture and most of it, replace by another things they deemed more right and holy.

not entirely different but I am just tired of writing this and I don't even know if it's gonna post correctly or just wiped away as that's what usually tumblr and my shit phone does.

I wish I can just let go, instead of thinking about bs promises. Or any words people told me that's for real when it was just lies. But my life is shitty and desperate situation, right now also it's boring and back then lots of violence, it's on going still that's why I wish for something sweet, love from another people but then I know that was just lies now. No one is even there because everyone is busy with their life and not really care as much as they said they are. Oops

[zoekrystall]

I started to bash on german the better I got in english especially regarding dubs (didn't help I was a stereotypical pretentious annoying lil kid) and I am so glad it was likely really just a kid phase bc I am rewatching detective conan in german (and once I hit where they're not getting dubbed anymore I switch to sub bc I do dislike names getting anglicized and I am very glad the ger dub kept the og japanese names, exceptions when I grew up w the anglicized names) and it is so so comfy. The dub is also just plain good imo and the voices are so nice to hear again I am so glad I found a site that got shows in german (ty katrielle layton anime for apparently only being available in japanese and german and me deciding "well I can speak german so why not check it out", nice voice acting but not up my alley).

I do still usually keep away from eng by anime bc I am a sub over dub person and I find most... not that good.. but I stopped to play part in the debate bc I'm sure all VAs try their best. Not for me but if you like em I'm happy for ya. And also in ger it is hit or miss when the og language is eng do I stick to that which is usually the case. Idk if it is just my perception or if it really did but german dubs kinda worsened but who knows maybe I just catched the ones w bad production on that part (reg ops we got nice ones but I was happy to learn others learned abt the one we got for naturo bc. yeah). Like purely anime speaking I think the cartoons and shows on tv are fine. Minus julien bam as sonic in the movies I still can't get over that but no hate towards him I just find the youtuber as voice actor thing always baffling no matter which language (also dislike the celebrity bias in every country. yes that person is famous but do they actually fit that role + voice acting and actor require different skill sets).

I think I started to bash so much on ger bc "og language always better" and sometimes yeah and I do watch if possible in the og w subs so nothing gets lost (that doesn't have to) but where that opinion makes a turn for the worse is if you start to become pretentious about it and everyone who chooses another option is somehow worse than you. Counts for every opinion that obv isn't debating human life. Honestly I adore polls but that's also why people need to zip it with their snarky comments in the answers or also on quizzes, I do have to admit those where op smacks (right answer) or smth on the one that almost no-one clicked on are funny to see though. A bit of banter is fine imo but there are some that are just really not necessary.

Anyways it is kinda funny how I thought one piece would surely get me into anime again bc I do adore it since like kindergarten and it'll forever be in my heart but nope detective conan it is. Ig the aspect of finding out together who the culprit might be is fun next to being able to do other things meanwhile bc I don't have to read. I think I got into conan at age 14? 15? Feels like decades ago though. I don't think I really understood why others rewatch things until now. Like I got it like yeah comfort but not the extend. I always tried not to rewatch bc "I got so much stuff I can't waste time with the same" (<- has replayed okami a lot on wii and now switch while having gaming backlog since forever, replayed bratz the movie on ps2 almost yearly as kid, etc) but I luckily start to go into "who cares" mode fully and it's really nice. I truly get it now.

[lesbianyosano]

DROP THE BSD POLITICAL HCS PLS PLS PLS

ok so i dont have them for all the characters but uhhh here's what i got (this got unnecessarily long so im putting this under the cut):

kunikida is a commie for sure, probably an anarchist and the theory reading kind too. he's probably involved with local initiatives and tried to radicalize his coworkers at least once. he got unreasonably exited when kenji joined bc the kid is definitely a commie as well. kenji is still a little young (plus he barely knows how money works) so he's been actively explaining what capitalism is to him

kenji basically lived in a commune all his life and wants everyone to be happy, learning what capitalism is and how it works made him incredibly sad, but he's also really determined and so he's been talking about communism to everyone he meets when running around the city

ranpo is a centrist, thinks people who are legitimately invested in politics are stupid and foolish and always brings up the horseshoe theory, doesn't help that poe is crazy rich and works for capitalism incarnate

dazai, when asked, will claim whatever political ideology he thinks is the funniest in given situation, which in practice means he talks abt being an anarcho capitalist just to piss kunikida off (he's been very succesfull so far, almost convinced atsushi that the whole thing made sense). for real though, he think politics is stupid and doesn't really have that much impact, but he also only thinks of politics as the direct actions of the government, rather than ideas, and he's met enough politicians in his mafia days to consider the whole thing corrupt and not worth his time (also mori used to canonically make his read theory which i think is so so funny)

atsushi was generally cut off from the world for the majority of his life, so he only started getting interested after joining the ada. he likes to talk about it and tries to watch the news and read theory trying to develop an informed outlook. he's very left leaning and partial to communism too (except for that one time dazai almost convinced him anarcho capitalism makes sense. he doesnt like to think about it)

yosano is a marxist feminist, vehemently anti-war, she used to come to feminist reading group at a local uni. her and kunikida talk abt politics a lot in their free time and recommend books and articles to each other. she's been trying to push kyouka and naomi to look into feminism too (succesfully)

chuuya is a libertarian and i refuse to believe otherwise. he really hated rich people when he was still with the sheep but after joining the mafia and spending too much time with mori and kouyou he decided that being rich was fine, actually. also he commits tax evasion bc why not, it's hardly the worst thing he does tbh, free market enthusiast

mori is a classical liberal, also canonically seems to be pretty well versed in economic theory (he mentions henry kissinger, thomas shelling and john forbes nash during the guild arc, funnily enough). his utalitarianism really comes through when he talks about politics, they're very kill or get killed (literally or economically), believes in free market

fukuzawa is kind of weird, he doesn't really subscribe to any ideology specifically. overall he's left leaning socially (all his kids are gay, so is he) but he's never actively questioned how the world works, or looked for an alternative. worth mentioning, he used to be an assasin for the government, and the only reason he stopped was due to personal disguist with how he was starting to enjoy it, he never seemed to wonder who and why is he killing, he just did his job completely uncritically, actively benefiting the state

as ive said before, fukuchi could be a commie if he wanted to, but instead of taking initiative in publicly speaking on the horrors of war and his hatred for national states he decided to become a cop, literally the worst he could have done

ok these are the ones i have like. active thought about, sorry this got so fucking long and i hope it's not unintelligible

[scolopendress-tag]

I said I'd make a post detailing my kid Asra working for Lucio theory in this post so here it is! 

So Let's get STARDED.

So! To start off, how it began. We do know when Asra and Muriel were kids, Lucio came to them each seperately with a deal.

Essentially: work for me, or I'll hurt your friend.

This was the sentiment he repeated for both of them. So, not wanting the other to be harmed, they both agree - unaware of the other's deal.

For Muriel, it was playing heel/excecutioner at the coleseium. For Asra, it was doing... Well, we never know, aside from he worked under Lucio. But that's what we are here to discuss in any case.

Continued under the read more, for the sake of people's dashes.

Now presumably, if I got my timeline right, Asra at this time would've been around 12 or 13. We don't know much about how Asra was when he was younger, other than that he has certainly changed.

It's also worth noting that it's not amiss to say they were both also still homeless at the time, and the hut hadn't come into the play until after.

Asra was still living on the streets.

This all isn't overly important for any of my claims later, but perhaps someone else could make something of it. It does provide us with some framing for the situation as a whole, though.

Now onto Asra's time under Lucio. I don't know that we have any indication of how long it was, but presumably at least a year if not more.

We do also know that Lucio knew who Asra was. Both in that he knew Aisha and Salim had a kid, and that he knew Asra was said kid.

This is bring this up because we know Aisha and Salim were incredibly talented, and likely incredibly powerful. Lucio wouldn't settle for any run of the mill magician or alchemist for the work he needed. So he must've had some idea that Asra may take after that power as well.

To top it off, he also interacted and talked with the dock kids he also used, (two of which would actually later become palace guards,) and seeing as this is seemingly how he learned of Muriel, it's not off to think that this is also how he heard of Asra again to start. The kids knew of Asra's magic, and roughly where he was, and could've even continued talking about both Muriel and Asra to Lucio for unknown amounts of time.

So now Lucio knows that the kid of his two powerful practitioners of magic is not only still around, but taking after them as well.

If Muriel's intimidating size and physical power are what drew Lucio to him, why wouldn't Asra's considerable metaphysical power and talents draw Lucio in as well?

We know how much Lucio loves power, and that he has an interest in magic because of it, as mentioned in the main story. (no ss sorry... If you have one send so I can add. )

Plus, homeless kid in a vulnerable spot. Easy pickings.

That's what I think this whole thing was about, really. It's all power. Though Asra likely didn't have the full scope of power he does in the current game, he was probably still considerably talented, and was only getting better.

What Lucio specifically probably wanted from Asra then was either to be taught how to use that power, to use Asra for things that required it, and/or use his power for entertainment akin to how he used Muriel.

I think out of these however, using him for his power was most likely. Why? (And teaching him now, more on that further down)

(Sorry for bad quality lmao it's a small image. Also thanks to @8-bit-space for showing these to me like months ago. As you can see I can't stop thinking abt it)

These are screenshots from the old prologue. While they're not canon any more, there's reason to believe they still hold merit as to how Lucio feels about Asra.

Two things to me are major here. First is the "powerful potent magic," and how it's the "real deal," equating to a large part of how he views Asra yet again tying back to a heavy interest in his power. Now, you could argue this relates to using his powers in the palace during the plague, but the second point stands out even more to me.

"The one who broke him for me?"

What this implies to me is that Lucio could never quite get all the way through to Asra or control him when he was younger, and he's been dying to do so. He wanted Asra broken, presumably so that he'll become essentially a tool for him to use for his skill and not put up a fight- something Asra likely did as a child.

Because it seems that Lucio for the most part relied on control through fear when it came to Asra, threatening to hurt Muriel, lying to him about how he executed his parents, likely other things as well. But things seem to point to that never quite working like he had hoped.

This could allude to this as well. Though "impossible" is something Asra's been called a few times, namely also by Julian, there's no reason to assume Lucio wasn't also including his work with him as a kid in "always". Impossible to hate could be his draw to Asra for his power, his talent, his skills, the prospect of which I'm sure Lucio found practically mouthwatering. Impossible to love could be his stubbornness or reluctance to do what Lucio wants, always pushing against him or being hard to deal with, both as a kid and during the plague.

And lines like this, where he calls him a coward. I find it hard to relate this to the plague ritual as he was for the most part willingly helping with that, so it could be resenment for when Asra eventually ran off as a kid, unwilling to put up with him any longer, or his reluctance to do certain things for him then in general.

We know, and it has even been mentioned by a character within the canon, that Asra can be incredibly stubborn, to back that up. Plus, he could've been even harder to work with then both being a kid and as I mentioned earlier he has changed from how he was then, so he could've had more spunk to him or such.

This also easily means that what Lucio was trying to get Asra to do then was something Asra was quite obviously opposed to. Being used for his power is already degrading enough, but there could be more to it.

You'll notice in the post that was linked at the top (the reason I'm writing this) I mentioned pushing Asra to his physical limits and magical extremes. This could be one of the reasons for a push back.

If Lucio was having Asra do things for him involving magic, it's not out of pocket to assume he'd practically run him into the ground- I'm sure he really wouldve loved testing the limits of what Asra could REALLY do.

Wether it be huge expendure of power all at once, or tons of smaller things one after the other, it would absolutely take it's toll. We are shown a few times that using magic can exhaust someone, and I don't remember if this is shown in canon ever (tell me if so!) but pushing it even further could definitely lead to other things such as passing out, (Or nosebleeds, for the aesthetic,) alongside likely being incredibly painful and draining, both mentally and physically.

Basically, abusing his powers and the body that commanded them. It's also possible that the stubborness to work with Lucio could also be partially percieved because of this- Lucio taking Asra's literal physical inability to continue as defiance.

Another reason for push back from Asra would be making him do morally compromising things. This is a little more vague, but intimidation is a common headcanon I see for what Lucio made Asra do, and that could tie in here. Other things could be meddling in things and business he shouldn't, but again, it's a vague thing. Make of it what you will. Fucked up stuff all around.

[EDIT - TEACHING LUCIO]

(THANK YOU @tea-tye for showing me these, and credits to @hangedman-magician for the video they came from!!!!!!!)

...I cannot BELIEVE I forgot this, I KNEW I was missing something. Especially when I was fairly certain I remember Lucio being obsessed with the idea of magic. SO, MOVING ON,

There's not terribly much to pick apart here as it's rather direct- Asra saying he has in fact tried to teach Lucio magic. So in my eyes this solidifies that this was a component of Asra's time under Lucio. I still think my points about Lucio treatment (pushing Asra to his limits) stand, as well.

This can also tie in the stubborness mentioned as, well, can you imagine teaching Lucio? Asra backs this up by saying nothing he has ever said stuck with Lucio, and you know how Lucio gets when things don't go his way. He would've blamed his inability to learn on Asra, likely.

Looking to other quotes mentioned: the 'broke him' line still rings to me like he was trying to use Asra in other ways, and the 'coward' line could go either way from refusing to teach Lucio certain things, or refusing to do certain things for Lucio when he was merely being used. The "impossible" line could also go for others, as trying to teach someone like Lucio would've undoubtedly caused some head butting.

This is certainly really exciting and interesting to me as it gives a more complete picture on the exact situation at hand here. I still stay by my reasoning for Lucio simply using Asra as well on top of being taught because it seems highly likely that Lucio would've been too impatient to learn to do certain things himself, and like I said as well, I don't doubt he also just wanted to see what Asra was REALLY capable of. Something he could've saw as a tantalizing insight into the kind of power he could aquire of this kid would just... work with him.

NOW we have a MUCH clearer answer as to what exactly Asra was likely doing under Lucio, or at this point, almost certainly doing. It's a sad picture for Asra of course, but with this you can draw some interesting points as to how he could've been affected by this, as I'm sure it would've left some kind of imprint on him.

Sure it may not have been as traumatic as what Muriel went through, but when you look at it, it's hard to say it DIDN'T leave it's scars. If we consider all the points presented in this post truth we have:

A 12/13 yo homeless child, threatened with his friend's life to work for the Count that he knew was the one responsible for orphaning him and making him homeless in the first place.

Said child believing his parents are still alive, and as we see in Travel at Night, could very likely still be trying to find them. In a situation like Asra's that glimmer of hope probably was a big deal in helping him push on. This may also be a reason he agreed on top of Muriel's safety.

While working under the count, he is told that his parents were executed, no doubt devastating. The manner in which this was mentioned is up for debate, and could affect exactly how it was taken. Options could be Lucio joking or bragging about it (treating it as trivial or an accomplishment), or using it to threaten Asra, (as in I killed your parents, I'll kill you too,) both would work when it comes to controlling by fear.

It is also mentioned that Lucio told him the reason for his parents execution is that they messed up his gold arm, so Asra also has the knowledge that his parents were killed over something so unbelievably trivial.

Being used as a source of power and nothing else, both for teaching and pure work/entertainment, all for the man who killed his parents, day after day.

Being pushed to physically painful and mentally draining limits, expending so much energy that he completely exhausts himself, day after day.

Likely taking all sorts of verbal abuse from Lucio, day after day.

Like mentioned earlier, it seems clear that Lucio wanted to break Asra, so some other form of trying to chip away at his psyche to make him more convenient for Lucio is likely as well.

Those points alone, to yet again a CHILD no less, seem more than enough to cause some traumatic impact, and depending on certain specifics of what exactly went on during that time, it could be worse. I may make a post looking into the long lasting effects of this on Asra, I may not. It would mostly be headcanon regardless. If you want to add your hc relating to this situation though, I'll gladly reblog it!

And now that we are closing out, it's time to revise my summary. So, without further ado, THIS is what I think was going on during this time.

Lucio knows of Asras existence and parentage.

Lucio learns Asra is around and that he's got power.

Lucio LOVES power, so he threatens Asra into working for him.

Lucio uses Asra for his power and to be taught how to use it for himself.

While using Asra for his knowledge and power, runs him into the ground by pushing his limits to physical and magical degrees, possibly even moral.

Asra pushes back against a lot of this, or is at least percieved to, frustrating Lucio.

Lucio does what he can to try and control Asra even more, primarily via fear, but can't seem to crack him.

Eventually it's too much, and Asra leaves. Likely when the plague hit like Muriel, but it's possible it could've been somewhat sooner. Lucio is PISSED, because he wanted that magical power all to himself.

Less related, I can see Lucio trying to brush it off and pretending to be fine with it, excuse being "he was too difficult to work with, anyways," or something.

...And then... years later, as far as Lucio sees it, Asra comes crawling back- and he's tamed down to a degree! He's actually working with him. Lucio might not know what or who did it, but Asra is finally broke for him, and I'm sure he was absolutely ecstatic to have that power back in his hands- and more than ever before.

Think of all of this as you would like!

At the end this is all still speculative, so definitely feel free to make your own points or say if you feel any different abt anything- expansions or counters on this theory/headcanon welcome!

And if you also have any other screenshots or info not here that could add to the theory or change the outlook of certain things definitely add them!!! I feel like I'm missing stuff for sure, and my memory has probably muddled some things (hopefully I didn't get anything wrong, though.)

And @asrascherry thanks for the offer in helping word my hcs also! I forgot to say that. This one is just so long I wouldve felt bad bringing it all to you 😔 it's probably still messy as a result but I tried lmao (worried it's repetitive or unclear 😬)

Uh yeah! That's mostly it for NOW.

+All the love to Asra for going through so much I'm so sorry bb,,

Thanks for reading!

[mulderscully]

Ok I promise I’m not trying to start discourse or anything but I just wanna say I agree with u on ur S@phne take. Like I felt like Daphne/the whole love story was just giving me the absolute ick by the end of season one (I haven’t read the books but apparently what happened in the show was “watered down” and it could’ve been a lot worse which 😬) cause like...the words both of them were using were v pretty and poetic but some of the actual actions taken were ??? Like it was cute until they got married but then the lying/mind games/etc. stuff that started going on just completely veered them into unhealthy relationship territory for me. Like I hate how they made Simon not wanting kids something that had to be “fixed” about him, like that’s literally...so weird??? Whether it’s related to trauma or not is he not allowed to simply not want kids? Like you can meet the love of your life and marry them and still not want kids so what were they even trying to say/do with that whole storyline? He literally was completely transparent about how he never wanted marriage or kids and repeated and explained why he didn’t want them to her multiple times. Even if she felt differently, that’s still something she should’ve respected and though it would’ve been painful, going their separate ways probably would’ve literally been best for everyone involved. The way it was played and executed just had me feeling icked out and sorry for Simon. Even comparing Kate/Anthony to them, I feel like it’s obvious from their characterization that they’re genuinely a healthier match (just going from having watched the show) and I can’t imagine either of them unilaterally deciding they want kids/marriage and not even talking about it with the other and I feel like a lot more communication in general is going on in their relationship. Like it’s clear they have a playful relationship and mess around but are genuinely each other’s best friends at the end of the day and chose marriage to each other over everything. Both the stories are v different as well

yeah, as someone who doesn't want kids i am very wary of any storyline where someone is made to change their mind, but with simon it's gotta be the worst i have ever seen. what really gets me is that the plot acts like she is a CORRECT in her feelings and actions? it just completely soured me to them. not just the act itself, but how it was framed like she was the one who was wronged and it about #girl power? i just couldn't wrap my mind around how they thought that was a good thing to keep in the story. and everyone was like, "it was worse in the book." when defending it, which IS TRUE bc he's drunk in the book - but it doesn't make it any less awful? they changed a lot abt the books that they could've taken that out entirely and still had their falling out about kids happen another way.

i honestly have no idea what julia quinn was smoking when she wrote the duke & i and i wanna know so i stay tf away from it lol i honestly had no plan to watch s2 til all my trusted girlmutuals convinced me <3

i just also find it soooooo fucking weird how simon isn't in s2 at all right after all that. i know it's bc rjp didn't wanna come back but from a narrative standpoint it just makes simon seem like an absent husband and father :(

but anyway, back to kathony! yeah, i think what i love about enemies to lovers is that the point isn't that you truly hate that person, it's that the person reminds you of yourself - maybe parts of yourself that you find hard to accept or love, and by falling in love with them you learn to also love and accept yourself entirely.

kate and anthony have very similar life experiences, they have similar interests, they make each other laugh. i think it's really obvious they're gonna have a very happy life because they're so right for each other.

[itlivesproject]

Daily Anon Chronicals(idk lol)

Ok so this is way longer than it should be so all the beat and apologies to the person who reads jt

NOT NOAH OPENLY TALKING TO TALIA ABOUT MC AND AMALIA BEING MONSTER FOOD LMAOOOOOOOO

"I just don't feel bad for you." Damn Amalia, burn

Sorry bro, we got a girl to save, bye boy

(Not my brain playing taylor swift idk why😭)

I was tempted to choose the heart option but that's for another time. Anyways OOF SAD NOAH

HI CONNOR MY SWEETHEART GREEN

"Hm." Bruh. Ok well, it's Joss, so.

I'LL CALL HER JOSS IDC

STOP THE BICKERING Y'ALL THEY DIDN'T KNOW

Lmao Conner is still the sweetheart i see

AGAIN I NEED THE MC AND AMALIA FRIENDSHIP DYNAMIC

SHE'S NOT A GHOST HER NAME IS TALIA AND CONNOR AND HER LOVE EACH OTHER DON'T DO THAT MY BABY'S BEEN THRU ENOUGH

(The caps in this review lmao and it's already so long)

Ngl the eye during the intro scared me a lil bit

Fantastic Four lmao. Let's see. Noah's Ben Grimm, Joss is Susan Storm, Abel is Johnny Storm and Connor is Reed Richards. Idk why but i just did that.

Ngl the MC is right about the true friends thing

"So it's a long stick?" It's a staff, honey. Learn ur history. Would u see Harry Potter and say, "Oh they're using their little sticks!"

Idk why but the scene where Amalia just steps in and grabs the staff gives major vibes of that mud scene in Bridgerton s2. Amalia simps will be kinda happy to know this fact i think

Bruh i would be soooo stoked to have an ancient thing like that which prolly works like bruhhhhhhhhh, Amalia cheer up you'll have fun when u actually use that

Coz a vine monster just kidnapped a girl in front of us? Plus u killed the monsters and asked is that all u got so ur kinda a pro at the fighting thing. I feel like Joss and Amalia's friendship will be like Kate Bishop and Yelena's, Joss being Yelena ofc(IDK WHY I'M COMPARING ILW CHARACTERS TO MCU CHARACTERS)

Talia just spilling secrets out here noice

Heist demn nice. Abel is right tho, this guy's flat out rude. Umm. I feel like Abel simps were offended by the crusty old man comment.

Noah being calm at seeing the chaos unfolding is me with my life.

Ok I'm mad about Jessie but I'm madder abt the nerve loss😤

Talia spitting fax is the best thing abt this chapter

Oh shit I'm so sorry Noah oof that musta hurt so bad

Awwwww Linkyyyy, have u been worried abt meeee???? You're so sweet.

Lol him just showing up casually and stopping MC from killing everyone and just casually talking abt this stuff is funnier than it should be.

BEANIE BOY LMAO

Aww I like imagining soft Linky. The scene where everyone is talking about someone and that someone trying to get everyone's attention is always so hilarious.

FRIENDLY BANTER LESGOOOO

Yes Linky that is so now come inside the station answer my questions

Heehee, Linky was a troublemaker hmmmm?? I love his smile. Why would anyone give him a shoe lmao. I want MC to push further and back off at the same time😭

Wait that's the pilot from that christmas book with 10 chapters. Where Hot Boss Nick was.

Ayo Annie. Ghost Annie, but it's Annie.

This was a roller coaster to read aksnakks. I want another ride!

[aizawa-needs-coffee]

Hi!! Could I have a matchup please? I'm 18, pronouns she/her, I'm fine w any gender though I have a preference for males

If its of any relevance, physically I'm about 5'8 tall and on the chubby side, green eyes, brown hair (with blonde streaks) and I wear glasses

If you're into astrology/ mbti, I am a Sagittarius w both moon and rising in Cancer and I'm INFP

So I'm quite emotional lol. Usually very in touch with my emotions and quite perceptive of other's feelings as well. I have a huge saviours complex especially when it comes to feelings (i love helping others figure out their feelings, being a shoulder to cry on or even offering comforting hugs) but I try my best to keep it control cause I don't wanna be suffocating

On the outside I'd say I'm fairly organized, I keep my room clean and all of that, I'm a lil bit of a perfectionist but mentally I'm all over the place. I tend to get carried away by thoughts and emotions and end up procrastinating a lot; anxiety makes it all worse. In short, I suck at time management

To most people I may seem quiet and reserved but I actually really enjoy talking to people; I'm really insecure about not being funny or interesting enough tho. Around my friends I'm more relaxed but still have moments of self doubt

I can also be quite obsessive. If something really catches my interest I won't stop until I search all there is to know about it. For example I watched bnha, read the manga, the spin offs etc all in less than a month and now I'm indulging in fanart and fanfics because I need m o r e c o n t e n t hsbsb. I'm also that kind of person that listens to a new song they like on repeat until they hate it. Speaking of music, I can't say I have a taste lol. My fave genres are rock, pop and indie but I hear smth I like, I listen to it, whether its "high quality" music, basic or weird. Lately I've been listening to a lot of epicore which is literally the type of music thats used in fantasy and sci fi movies askfkdk

I like expressing myself through writing, singing and dancing but I really can't say I'm talented at either of those, it's all in good fun. I also enjoy reading (fiction, non-fic books bore me like hell; my fave genres are fantasy, sci fi and crime) but I haaate literature in school. I'm actually a bit of a math nerd and this year I'm starting uni, studying computer science!! Oh! I've also taken drama classes for 2 years (despite the fear I loved being on stage and plan on starting again once I'm done w the baccalaureate), I love playing D&D and while I woulnd't quite call myself a gamer, I love role playing video games. I'm also almost always down for any kind of multiplayer video games w friends although I have no experience

I'm not a sportive person, I go on walks or do a few exercises every now and then at home but I'm willing to try stuff out like a new sport or going to the gym w an s/o. I do plan on starting self defense classes soon and maybe taking up sword fighting (I love swords hehe)

Tbh I've never been in a relationship so I'm not really sure how I would act w an s/o, nor what I'm exactly looking for. I best express my affection through physical touch tho and that includes my friends so I'd like someone who isn't bothered or can get used to that (s/o would still receive the most hugs/ cuddles etc). I'm not that comfortable w the other love languages for friends and family, but I think I'd be a lot more eager to express my love through them for s/o. If I'm on the receiving end, my weakness is still physical touch :)) but I also need words of affirmation every now and then cause insecurities 🌠 and while I wouldn't ask for anything, especially objects, I am a hoarder and I'd keep any kind of gift like its a national treasure simply bc its from someone I love.

In addition, it doesn't really matter if s/o is more on the emotional or rational side a long as they dont invalidate my feelings; it angers me a lot and makes me feel even more insecure. I tend to isolate when I'm really really upset about something so I need a lil bit of pushing to talk abt it; I'm open to talk abt my feelings but I need the verbal confirmation that they care and wanna help, its not just cause they're being nice

Wow that is a lot of rambling jeez ajsjsjs sorry. Thank you so much if you've read throught that all and ty for the match up!!

Me and my wife literally having a ten minute debate on who we’d pair you with before I made my choice. Thanks for all the details and I hope you enjoy the match up!

I match you with Sero

I feel he’s outgoing and extroverted enough to help you with your anxiety and always reassure you that you are good at things and he does love you, he’s also so chill and laid back that even if you were clingy he’d not mind, he’d embrace it, his chill nature would help balance you. He would help you feel grounded and have a ‘you don’t have to do it all now’ attitude but would happily help you out. You need help going to the store? He remembers the list you wrote, having trouble fitting in lunch while you study? He’ll come to your door with pizza.

He’s determined and outgoing but isn’t aggressively positive and loud either which I think is why I picked him over Kirishima for you.

+++

“Hey babe, whatcha reading?” Sero asked sitting next to you on the sofa, he handed you a soda which you gratefully took, not looking up from your laptop screen.

As soon as he was sat down comfortably your hand grabbed his, clasping your fingers together as you managed to tear your gaze away from the Wikipedia page which was still open. You blinked up at him and shook your head.

“Oh just something I learned about today and wanted to do some.. extra reading” you explained.

He nodded his head and drank his soda watching as your face lit up as you started to ramble about the topic, he didn’t really know much about it but the way you told him about everything, the way you happily expressed your interest towards the topic made him happy. He gave you his big grin when you finished.

“Sorry, I rambled..” You felt bad, you always felt nervous when you info dumped on people.

“Nah, it’s cool, I didn’t mind at all” he brought your hand up to his face and gave it a kiss, your face flushed at the gentle gesture which caused Sero to laugh playfully.

“Well, if your sure… I just wanted something to take my mind off chores”.

“It’s the weekend, you don’t have to rush anyway.. and if you don’t feel better by tomorrow I can help, you can wash the dishes and I’ll dry?” he suggested still peppering kisses on the back of your hand before you set your laptop down and crawled closer to him.

You nodded softly, that sounded a lot more manageable, you felt your anxiety settle down from a raging nagging feeling to something easier to tolerate. He was such a good influence on you. Sero set down his drink and wrapped his arm around you, pulling you closer to his chest.

“The guys want to come over and say hi later, maybe get pizza… but I can tell them not tonight if you aren’t feeling it… maybe you can play that new game you got? I liked watching you play the other night” He suggested as he nuzzled your head, enjoying how your hair felt on his face.

“Maybe… can I give you an answer later?”

“Yeah, no rush babe”

You smiled softly feeling the lanky boy kiss the side of your head and listened as you carried on talking about the trivia of your current interest.

[cunninghamchrissie]

hoooo boy i have so many thoughts on this to the point that i need a read more cut lmao

my hc is that, yeah, she's not a virgin, but jason isn't rly invested in her pleasure. maybe they haven't gone all the way bc "good girls save themselves for marriage and only dirty sluts put out before", but he's convinced her to go down on him, and at a certain point she just does it unprompted bc the sooner he finishes, the sooner he'll stop touching her (bc he'll try to touch her while they're making out, but it doesn't do much for her and ends up feeling uncomfortable after a while)

between having an ed (which destroys your libido, just physiologically speaking, not to mention the body image issues and mental stuff that totally affect your sex drive too) plus her daily abuse from her mom and her religious trauma idk that chrissy even masturbates. she'll feel the urge every now and then, but she doesn't know how to and gets in her head abt it and stops halfway. she's maybe finished a couple times, but felt so bad about it, and like everyone at school could tell what she's done, so the guilt ends up not being worth it.

eddie's not a virgin, but sex has lacked any and all emotional connection for him, which i feel like he'd be ok with? i don't see 20 yo eddie struggling w that.

when they get together they have many hurdles bc first of all, chrissy thought it was bad enough she was having sex w jason, but now she's gonna have sex w another guy? that's super slutty, right? but that's smth she works out on her own, bc some of her cheerleader friends have had sex with different guys, and she doesn't think they've changed or turned into bad ppl bc of it. and esp bc she's crazy abt eddie and he's obvs crazy abt her too, it helps her get away from that mentality a bit.

eddie's horny and now that he's experienced sex w someone he actually has an emotional connection with, his mind's been kinda blown and he just wants it all the time, and chrissy's been taught that good girlfriends are always available for their boyfriends, so she'll do it even when she's not rly feeling it, and when eddie realizes it he feels like shit and disgusting like he's taken advantage of her (and it doesn't help that ppl around town would prob be saying the same stuff abt him too) so the first thing they work on together kind of urgently is communication.

so that's maybe where kinks would be introduced bc eddie will just straight up not touch chrissy sexually if she doesn't say it with her words that she wants him to, but she's even quiet when they do it (bc, again, she doesn't want to sound like a slut or like those women in porn that she's caught jason watching a couple times, and he told her he was only watching so he could look for signs that chrissy was turning into one of those dirty women, screaming like the devil was in them or smth). so they'll start with super tame dirty talk, eddie just talking her ear off bc he obvs can't ever shut up, and urging chrissy to make any noise, talk back, and at first she'll just reply and try not to let her face burn off in shame, but they work up to chrissy actually naming body parts out loud and saying what she wants, but even then it's only when she's already super keyed up. she's still struggling to say it outside of that context, although she's better with physically guiding eddie to doing what she wants him to do. and that's especially helpful too bc chrissy can't finish for the longest time, and of course eddie thinks he's the problem, he's forced her into doing it and that's why she can't finish, and chrissy thinks she's the problem, simultaneously thinking she's broken and also a small part of her not wanting to finish lest she turn into one of those sluts screaming. so with her learning to be more vocal, she also learns to touch herself, be on top, let eddie go down on her etc.

body image would be an issue too, but i feel like on a lesser level. it'd start w chrissy not wanting to get fully undressed, only doing it in the dark, stuff like that, but between eddie running his mouth bc he can't help it and just touching her everywhere esp during sex (including her stomach and thighs, including and maybe esp when she starts gaining weight in recovery from her ed) it ends up rly helping her. it's not ideal to let your body image hang on how someone else feels abt your body but we all do it, and it's more common to start to feel ok abt how you look bc your partner is into it than just starting on your own

eddie's got the magazines and handcuffs and he likes "weirder" stuff and i think after the first great hurdles they'd def try some stuff, but at the end of the day i just see them as being so vanilla (which is not a bad thing!!!). the most i can see sticking is dd/lg, spanking and/or choking, light tying up (so nothing like shibari or anything)

i think the one thing that would be completely off limits would be degradation. i know it works for some ppl precisely bc of the trauma but i just don't see it esp in a vecna universe. eddie just wants to protect her and chrissy's love language is words of affirmation, bc it's exactly what she lacked the most growing up, so being reassured and complimented is what gets her going and she would for sure take it to heart if eddie said anything bad even in a made up scenario.

curious about what other hellcheers think of the way chrissy's relationship with sex, fantasy and kink would evolve over the course of her life with eddie. from a standpoint of her starting out not necessarily a virgin, but having not had good sex before. i accidentally started writing a fic exploring this, where i'm kinda tracing the path of her voicing her interests and things she's curious to try with eddie. she starts with asking to watch him jerk off, which she haltingly turns into mutual masturbation (which ends with her upset and crying because she can't get herself off and she's so scared there's something wrong with her).

would love to hear anyone else's thoughts on this, especially if anyone has very specific headcanons about things chrissy would or wouldn't like.

[everythingelseisspokenfor]

Hi! I love thiam.Can u write sumthin abt how the other pack members just assume they're dating;while liam defensively denies? Thanks!

Okay. So I started writing this story long ago but couldn’t finish it. But I finally did!!!! And also, anon, THIS WAS SUCH A CUTE PROMPT!! And so in character tbh! So thanks a bunch! Here’s my take on this AMAZING prompt! and @ilovethiam I’d love to read a 100 thiam fanfics too!!! but here’s one.

Don’t ask me to lie

Liam was so done with these people he had for some reason decided to call friends. Most of them were forced into his life, thanks to Scott, but in the end, he still chose to call them friends because they always stuck together, and always had his back. He knew he could count on them the same way they could count on him. But right now, he was starting to maybe regret that decision. It had only been 2 days since Scott and the others started college and they were already dealing with a crisis. He had to assume the role Scott left behind. As if that wasn’t enough there were all these people assuming he was with Theo.

“Why do you want me to talk to Theo? Why do you think he’ll listen to me?” He asked shaking his head.

“Oh, you know why,” Mason answered. “Come on Liam. This is kind of important. This is a chimaera, and he’ll know what to do.”

“Well, then you go ask him,” he whines plopping down on one of the library chairs.

“I did. He said ‘cool’ then walked away. You’re dating him, that should give you some free reign, right?”

There he goes again. “I’m not dating him,” his voice slips into an automatic defensive tone.

“Yeah, okay, just talk to him.” Mason waved his hand dismissively.

“I am not dating him,” he repeated.

“Just talk to him. Please.” Liam sighed in defeat narrowing his eyes at his supposedly best friend.

“Fine.”

And Theo did come to help. He would have for anyone who hissed at him. It wasn’t about Liam, Theo was just a hardass who wanted people to assume he didn’t care. He would have come around eventually anyway. Liam talking to him just sped up the matter, that’s all.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Nolan was sitting next to Liam in the locker room after a game of lacrosse. Their team had just lost. Theo and his stupid team of obnoxious snobs won. Nolan wasn’t so bad when he wasn’t trying to get him killed.

“Aren’t losing control yet, are we?” Theo asked smugly walking out of the shower. Liam resisted the urge to snort and punch his nose. He stuck to giving Theo a glare. “Oh, come on,” he tilts his head to a side, “Everybody knows you’re a sore loser.” Liam stood up standing inches away from the other boy hating that Theo was slightly taller than him.

“I swear to god, go away. Right now,” he hissed through his teeth. Theo’s lips lifted to form a crooked smirk that permanently etched his face anyway.

“How does it go again. Oh yeah. The sun, the moon and the truth Liam. Say it with me.” He steps away motioning his hand, “The sun, the moon –” And Liam landed a hard hit on Theo’s face which still failed to wipe the annoying half smile of the chimera’s face. Theo’s thumb grazed his lips wiping away the blood that was starting to drip.

“Well, at least you didn’t wolf out,” he said then promptly walked away.

“Wow,” Nolan said still sitting on the bench where he was. “You guys have such a weird relationship. Good thing your boyfriend can heal quick, coz that blow was… Oof.”

Liam turned at the comment glaring. “He is not my boyfriend!” His voice came out higher than he’d expected it to.

“Of course,” Nolan replied shaking his head with sarcastic enthusiasm.

“He. Is. Not. My. Boyfriend,” he repeated enunciating each word controlling his voice this time.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Things had been going quite smoothly these past few months. Nothing earth-shattering happened. Liam still had to deal with rogue werewolves and not to mention the fact that some people were still just growing accustomed to the entire ‘existence of supernatural’ thing. And Scott, Malia and Lydia were back for vacations. Stiles was still out in Quantico doing his thing. And why oh, why would their lives ever be easy for more than a few weeks. The first day his alpha came back they had to deal with a member of the wild hunt who got left behind or something. Liam didn’t really know, they had a game and Scott took care of it. They were all at the McCall house now just catching up. Malia and Scott were sitting together in the corner of the couch, Lydia was hunting the kitchen to find something to eat, and the others were trying to find more blankets. The first normal teenager-y thing he’d done in so long. A movie night. He just found his place in one of the Sofa’s when his phone pinged. He grabbed it from his back pocket double tapping it to check why.

“Ooh! Theo,” Alec cooed arriving just behind him.

“Theo?” Scott asked, “Why isn’t he here yet?”

Liam shrugged. “I don’t know maybe he lost his way or something,” he said shrugging again, he looked down at his phone again opening the message. Malia’s scoff made him look up again.

“What?!” Liam hissed.

“You’re telling me that your boyfriend doesn’t know the way to Scott’s. Think of a more believable lie.”

He scowled. “For the last time. We are not dating.” He looked back his phone. “I’m going to get myself a blanket. You have some in your room, right?” he directed his question to Scott who nodded. He quickly typed something into the phone and started walking up the stairs. He opened the door and a gush of wind hit him along with a soft laugh.

“That was entertaining,” Theo commented. Liam shook his head.

“Oh please! Do tell why?”

“You know how defensive you sound when you say we’re not dating? It’s very entertaining.”

“Why? I don’t know why people just assume you’re my boyfriend!” Liam looks up, annoyance clear on his face.

“Well, am I not?” he asks smirking. A smirk Liam knew by now was just a cover for his insecurity. He rolled his eyes and kissed the smirk off his face. Theo replied in almost no time. The first time Liam had kissed Theo it took him forever to kiss Liam back! FOREVER! But he was learning. Theo’s hand slipped into Liam’s hair when he pulled back.

“But they don’t know that yet!” He whined.

“WE DO!” He heard four voices shout. Scott, Malia, Alec and Corey. Liam buried his head in Theo’s shirt, and the other boy laughed. Liam could feel his face turn red.

“Might as well go down,” Theo suggested. “Now that we know that the pack knows. Don’t have to lie to anyone anymore.”

[seiwas]

niKUUUUUU 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 u know honestly when i reread it i immediately think of horse shit LOL 😭😭😭

but waaaaaaaah im so relieved you enjoyed 🥺 i alr told u but i was fr scared 🥺

I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO DESCRIBE THE TONE OF THIS FIC !!! bc it technically isnt so happy but its also not super sad ? but is in some ways.... and bittersweet is close!!! but still not quite ??? its a feeling i cant explain i think !!! nostalgia can be, but maybe longing???? (on izuku's end, not in their relationship)

thank you for reading and trusting i could write him 😭 even tho it is quite literally my biggest writing fear shbdfsd just cos. there's too much perceiving hjsbdfjsd i think about him a lot!! and how he feels about everything that's happened and i've always imagined him to feel it all when he's alone 🥺 i think i look at izuku and i'll always see some form of sadness in there 🥺 for things he could have done better, or missed chances, or ways he could have pushed harder, opportunities lost, etc. etc. 🥺

i also!! envision him with a reader who is patient enough to go thru everything with him 🥺 (i feel like this is a common thread i have for characters that have big emotions but don't process them properly 😭 or for characters who aren't exactly sane LOL)

sellllllll it's meeeeee. hehehehehehehehehhehe

so for ur writing exercises.... deku + light? please? pretty please?

:3c

heheh heheh hehe niku. this will be the death of me. me writing izuku for the first time 🥲 i will only do this for you </3

contains: established relationship, spoilers for the end of the manga, aged up deku but sometime in between the final outcome (he doesn't get the h*** s*** from bakugo yet), mentions of sex and scars

deku + light

izuku only sleeps with the lights off.

it isn't uncommon; many people you know can't sleep with even just a sliver of light turned on somewhere in the room. but the difference with izuku, you learn, is not that he's unable to stand the light―it's that he refuses to.

you quickly pick up on it the first few times he sleeps over.

he fidgets in bed, pretty badly, actually. the nightlight you sleep with glows a warm yellow, illuminating the side of your face and coating him in its afterglow. you chalk it up to nerves, how he pulls at his sleeves and adjusts his position constantly; he is, after all, one of the most anxious people you know.

and this relationship―it's new. heck, even you feel a little jittery with his arm wrapped around you.

the rhythmic tapping on your hip only increases pace. you don't think he realizes it, so your hand gently reaches for his, intertwining your fingers as you turn around in his arms.

he's close, nearly touching you nose-to-nose; the proximity leaves you fuzzy, a little ticklish, so you giggle, a soft "oops," as the freckles dusting his face almost glisten under the warm light.

"hi," you whisper, meeting his eyes; they stare back at you wide in surprise, "can't sleep?"

he looks almost guilty at your question, as if you’ve caught him with the one thing he's been trying to keep from you.

"just—" his voice comes out louder than intended, prompting him to chuckle nervously as he readjusts his volume, "just winding down, sorry."

you inch closer, nuzzling his nose lightly, "it's okay."

"did i wake you?" he asks, cheeks flushing pink as his eyebrows furrow in immediate concern. his expression is something caught between stifling a grin and feeling sorry.

you shake your head against the pillow you share, strands of your hair tangling with his. "just winding down," you tease, watching as his gaze turns softer, eyelids drooping heavier.

sometimes, you think, izuku holds the world in his eyes―a deep, dark green, the color of life. most times, they look at you with wonderment, bright and alive; photos from inko tell you they're the eyes of his inner child.

on nights like this one, however, they hide a depth in them weighted by what you can only assume is time, and all that has happened to him in such a short span of it.

you try your best to understand what lies beneath them, knowing full well he'll never tell you outright what truly bothers him.

"is it the light?" you bring up, some time after laying in silence.

"hm?" he clarifies.

"do you have a hard time sleeping with the nightlight?"

his eyes widen briefly once more, as if shocked that you've caught him again. these split second reactions are ones you've learned to be attentive to when it comes to izuku.

"no," he tries to lie, but you know better as you turn to your nightstand and reach for its switch, "you don't–"

"it was hurting my eyes," you quickly make up an excuse, tucking yourself closer under his chin as you cut off his attempt to deny it again.

finding out that the light was the problem was the easy part—

you'd begun to notice much earlier on that izuku was barely rested on the nights he'd spend at your place. it was only when your old nightlight broke that you began to notice him waking up much later than you did, groggily rousing from a deep sleep.

—what was hard, was figuring out why.

at first, you suspected it was his scars.

"s-sorry, it's not—" he'd warned you, right as your hands gripped the hem of his shirt the first time you were about to have sex, "—it's not nice."

you didn't care though; you still don't care, and you've made that abundantly clear to him since. you love izuku and all his parts―all the nicks and jaggedy pieces of skin that make up who he is.

when you eventually ask him about it, with a request that he be honest with you for once, he tells you that it is and it isn't―the reason why he exclusively sleeps with the lights off, that is.

it's an odd, comforting relationship he has with his body—that he is simultaneously grateful and sorry for how its become a canvas, both painted and marred to symbolize japan’s historic last stand.

you find out the real reason when you catch him staring at his hands.

he does it often, when he thinks you aren't looking—his fists bunched up in the same way he used to watch the power of one for all course through his fingertips; the same way he used to prepare them in battle.

there’s a faraway look in his eyes that lingers, you notice—a little wistful if anything.

“do you miss it?” you finally ask. he gives you the same shocked look he does every time, as if he’s been caught with a secret he’s been trying to hide.

he’s learned a fair bit about you now, too, though—lying to you is futile when you’ve perfected reading his truth. he stares at his fists again as you take a seat beside him, moving to give you space. you rest your head on his shoulder gently, waiting.

“sometimes,” he admits, but you know it’s an understatement.

“i think about the vestiges a lot. i miss them the most, i think,” he continues, clenching his fists tightly, “i always try to reach out to them, but i guess it doesn’t work that way.”

“i… i try to replicate the right conditions every night, but…” then he lets go, stretching his fingers out wide. the scars on the surface ripple through his skin, telling its own story.

you hum, acknowledging what he means. silence sits with the two of you as you take his hand in yours, slowly unfurling his fingers until his palm reveals itself to you. it’s rough to the touch, seasoned with hard work and all that he’s been through.

“is that why you prefer the dark?” you ask softly, after some time.

it's not often that you stay up later than izuku does. when you do though, you catch him shifting in bed, moving from side-to-side. you pretend you aren't awake, but you hear him mumble their names, dwindling in volume as he dozes off to sleep.

he stares at his palm for a moment before he admits quietly, "yeah." his brows furrow as if contemplating whether to say more, but he shakes his head, dark green strands swaying to the beat of his embarrassed chuckle, "nevermind, it's silly."

"it's not."

you intertwine your fingers, sandwiching his hand between yours. a slight sheen glosses over his eyes as he tilts his head up to look at you. he draws in a breath, before it spills over.

"it's..." he finds the words, and you squeeze his hand in comfort, "it's easier to believe it was all real when the lights are out, and that maybe it can happen again."