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kanmom51 · 22 days

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This one is kind of personal and a lot mushy

(And as I'm writing this, a bit of a rant as well)

*Be advised.😅

Been a bit.

Well, I was kind of busy. On one of those 'once in a lifetime' trips you take to celebrate a big one, this one being my 30th wedding anniversary.

And while I was on this trip (and I am sure to share some pics, cause why not, seeing we got some spectacular ones) I got to thinking about Jikook. Because, who doesn't think about Jikook on their 30th anniversary trip, right?

Let's be real for a sec. Who doesn't think about Jikook ALL THE DAMN TIME?

Obsessed much?

Hell yeah!!!😂

Proudly admitting it!!

Look at those two:

Can you seriously blame me?

Nah, but seriously.

I couldn't help but think about who I am, where I've come from, how my partner and myself came to be, our love and respect for each other, how we fought through everything life swings at you and how our love not only survived all of it but seems to have flourished even more. I can honestly say that I love my husband today even more than I did when we got married. It's a different kind of love. A mature love. A love that survived many trials and tribulations. Some you know of when you tie the knot but many more you don't expect.

And thinking of us I couldn't help but think about those two young men and how they met, what brought them together, how they connected, how they have been through so much together, the hardships, the struggles, the amazingly good and the terribly bad, all making their bond even stronger.

There are those that cannot fathom how 2 young beautiful talented men could be in a committed relationship when they have this whole smorgasbord of beautiful people just wanting to lay a hand on them. Everyone wants a piece of them and here they are in a committed relationship with each other? A long term committed relationship? How ever could that be?

When you love someone to the core, which is exactly how those two feel (people can deny it all they want, but it won't change the facts, these two have chosen each other every single time over anything and anyone else), when you get to know that one person and fall deeply in love with them, know their ins and outs, know their flaws and issues, seen them at their best and at their worst. When they are happy or sad, healthy or sick, elated or furious, and find them attractive through and through, still want to be by their side.

No.

Need to be by their side.

Want to be there when they are happy, share their joy, but also be there when they are sad or down and stand by their side to support them through it (even with and despite all those flaws and issues and difficulties that at times can also infuriate you and basically make you want to ring their necks at certain points in time) there is no love (between partners) deeper than that.

I do know, we all should, that what they experienced and how they are living cannot be compared to us regular folk. Their circumstances are such that they have to deal not only with an industry and society that deems them as 'wrong' (that includes a big chunk of their own fandom btw), but also a lifestyle that is nothing like the one we know or have experienced. The hours, the cameras in their faces close to 24/7 (up until their break and hiatus and even prior to that during the pandemic - which btw is one of the reasons people have gone mad at that point given we stopped getting an influx of BTS content for such a long time), growing up and maturing in the limelight, enjoying the fame and exposure at first and then fighting for privacy and 'anonymity' when you realize there is a price to that fame. None of us have experienced that. Yes, we can find the similarities and by extension make conclusions about them, but at the same time we always need to remember that their lives are different than ours and that we cannot always hold them to the same standards of behavior that we are used to in our own lives and relationships.

This is beside the point that every relationship is different. I will just say this. A healthy long term relationship is built on 2 or more (I ain't judging) individuals that stand as their own person and chose to be with the other/s. They don't necessary have to have the exact same interests or likes. What they do need is to love, respect, trust each other and understand that part of that is allowing your significant other to do what they love, even if it means doing it without you. Even if it means doing it with someone else. You all know where I'm getting with this right? Going out with others, travelling with others, drinking with others, spending time with others, choosing to spend time alone without your significant other, none of them diminish from your relationship if indeed it's building blocks are solid. And brace yourselves (well, those that are in long term relationships know this already...), but all of the above actually helps maintain your relationship. Can make it better and stronger.

I've been lurking a little on SM, even while away, only to find that once again, or should I say still (surprise surprise... NOT) there are those that are doubting the bond that these two young men have. It's solos and cultists trying to create an alternative universe in which JK and JM are not close and even distanced (some would love for them to actually hate each other - good luck with that psychos). Or it's once again those insecure 'Jikookers' that seem to need that constant affirmation from a real life queer couple that most certainly will not be giving them that. I keep asking myself why is it that a couple like JM and JK need to constantly prove they are together (all while they actually can't come out and say it due to their circumstances - industry and society they live in), when a heterosexual couple, say Zendaya and Tom, for example, are not expected to? How come a blurry clip (which I still say is fake) released at a very suspicious point in time, together with other obviously edited clips and serious claims of misconduct that are clearly made up and were intended to cause JK harm, have more of an impact on them than years and years of interactions, talk, actions (including just before the clip was released and after it as well)? And now another blurry clip that people are going all crazy over. Like seriously, what is wrong with people? Is the lack of content driven them mad? No drama so we need to create it? Well, thing is that when you are in a healthy committed long term relationship there is not much drama. That's the way it is when you are settled and happy and know who you are and who you love and know that they feel the same about you. Arguments, disagreements, bad days - sure. That's life. But at the end of the day if people want drama they should go watch one on TV.

So, how do I put it to make is as clear as possible?

These insecurities we get from some of the fans, they work like clockwork. Every single time, in the past, when we didn't get much from the two there were these whispers and question marks regarding their relationship. Not even if they are still together, but down to the core of their bond, as to even question if they are close or friends. This phenomenon goes way back.

But since end of 2021 beginning of 2022, when they were on their break and later the hiatus into 2023 it blew up like a full on hydrogen bomb.

This got worse after they were assigned their own 'personal' IG accounts and went on their break.

The misconception by many that these accounts were somehow their private accounts that they use to interact with each other, I can't call it anything other than delusional. Sorry not sorry. And if people did not realize that themselves if only from the lack of posting or interaction with whoever, then we had the members themselves telling us that they regularly interact within their own private chat groups. That photos shared on IG with us have been previously shared with the others in those groups. These IG accounts were created to maintain contact between the members and their fans, knowing that the group is going into hiatus and that they will each be promoting their own individual solo projects. Yes, the group Twitter (X) account could be used for that, but there was an attempt to create a more 'personal' connection between each member and Army. These accounts were work, as simple as that, and them reacting to other members or talking with each other through these accounts was not an indication what so ever to whether they were in touch or not otherwise.

At the time, back in early 2022, when people were reeling over the lack of interaction between the two on their IG accounts I tried to explain that a. not seeing something most definitely does not mean it's not there (something those two made sure to prove time and time again over the past couple of years), and b. that the lack of interaction can actually be an indication to them spending most of their time together, as there is no need to comment on another's post when you are right there to tell them whatever it is you want to tell them to their face. Not to mention, and this part is all me, so take or leave it as you will, but some of said IG posts, well, how do I put it? I guess I just say it as it is... some of these photos posted were either taken by the other or they were right there or really near by when it was taken. There. I said it. In any case, the fact that these were the only two not to interact with each other in front of Army's face, out of the whole group, that, to me, meant they were the ones spending most of the time together.

Oh, and let's just address the whole fanservice stupidity surrounding those two once and for all.

If they were all about fanservice, how is it that since that during the break in 2021-2022 and then during the hiatus and their solo endeavors, we were robbed of said fanservice? Wouldn't you expect that the fanservice couple, the scripted couple, be pushed during each other's promotions? How is it that we have seen during these periods of promotions every single other coupling other than JM and JK. Even JK visiting JM during his rehearsals was heavily edited. How come, if we are being sold a fake bond? No JK being forced to go visit JM when performing at the music shows. No JM being forced to do the same with JK. JM paired with Suga for an add for Busan (? that one was really an odd one for me). When did we see them? So yeah, people can scream fanservice all they want, but deep down inside they know it's a crap claim. I won't even go into JK's lives. There was not one ingenuine bone in his body, and that excitement seeing JM's comments, that coquettish behavior while interacting with him (especially during the bed live, OMG!!!), the reactions to the JM centered content he CHOSE to watch during those lives, none of that is scripted nor acted. It's all JK. All him. And JM's reaction when JK shows up at his documentary viewing live, that little butt wiggle in his chair (reminds me of Bam when happy to see his dad/s, as shown by JK), the face lighting up, the genuine worry on his face talking about JK working hard (during another couple of lives), again, not faked.

So yeah, not fanservice.

I digressed, I think.

Let's get back to 2022 why don't we?

On their break these crazy stories of heartbreak and breakup and hate and suffering and god knows what, only all to be thrown out of the window as soon as we got to see the two together again during the Seoul concerts and then LV. Oh LV. That was a wild ride.

Then BTS went on hiatus and the solo era began. And we were getting less and less ot7 content, and once again the insecurities. These ups and downs (you know, the whole JITB party stories about them not being together - that was countered by the BTB that followed a while after), then Busan concert's high, then 2023's downs and ups and downs and ups and fruck it all, I'm sea sick from this stupidity.

Same exact stories were repeated in 2023!!!

Especially after THE CLIP "which shall not be named" dropped.

SAME EXACT TO THE T STORIES!!!

But again, I digress.

Insecurity regarding the two and their bond (seeing they aren't in the public eye) followed by realization that everything is as it was (if not even better and stronger) once we see them together again. And the reason we don't see them together while on break... wait for it... is because they are a private couple living their everyday life, not for the cameras, not for Army, but for THEMSELVES.

Who would have thought.

And when they are together, as in working together, either filming or shooting or performing, well their bond can't be hidden, as much as they might have to wind it down at times (which is mainly not when they are on stage hyped up on adrenaline, lol), seeing that this is still Kpop, with fandoms that feel ownership over them, not to mention them being a queer couple. You know. All the usual reasons.

This idea people have that these two owe us something. That they constantly have to prove their bond, their connection, their relationship. What utter bull.

Anyway, what a slap in the face (for some a good wake up call, for others a well deserved one) the news of them choosing to enlist together was for so many.

Bottom line is, repeated for the millionth time, that these two young men have shown us time and time again that when push comes to shove they will chose one another!!!

I feel like I'm all over the place here. Came to talk about my trip and ended up talking about fanservice and insecurity and god knows what. I guess it's the jetlag (yeah, let's go with that and blame it on the jetlag).

In any case I will go with my favorite saying as of late:

Why this whole long word vomit, you may ask (or you might not ask, who knows, lol)?

What the hell does this have to do with my trip?

Nothing...?

Probably, lol.

But I am going to try to connect the dots. Even if they did make sense in my mind when I first started writing this post and no longer do...

How about the fact that the two chose to take these trips together?

See how I did that? Connecting the unconnected?

Not even going to ask the egg-chicken question here, as I am quite positive it was always about the trips and the show/content for army was the excuse that allowed them to travel 'for work', and a little bonus of content for army when they are away - not to mention perhaps even an opportunity for a soft outing, who knows.

They wanted to spend this time together before enlistment.

We know of at least 3 trips. Connecticut, Jeju and Japan (the Jeju trip may or may not be part of that 'show').

We are yet to know what exactly this 'show' will be. Will it be an actual show, style BV or ITS? Will it be a Vlog? Will we be getting actual episodes or several minute clips? But one thing for sure. Whatever we get, it will be a drop in a lake of the time they spent together. They went on these trips to be together. They shot this 'show' to allow them to be on these trips. This 'show' will give us a glimpse, no more than that, of what they got up to while together. Bottom line - it's about them, not the show and definitley not us.

So yeah, tripping together (lol, as in traveling, just felt like using that fun word, which can mean so much more as well) is something couples love to do, and going on said trips prior to a huge life changing event (let's be real here, going into the military for 18 months, especially knowing that to be able to enlist TOGETHER, they will be placed in one of the harsher units and environments, knowing that even though they will be together they most certainly will not have the freedoms they enjoy prior to enlistment), well that is something they would do as well.

To sum this whole rant up:

I came here to show off some pics from my trip...

If Jikook are allowed to (and god help them all if we don't get that show eventually...), then so am I...

The scenery...

And the wild life

So there you have it.

I managed to talk about my trip and about Jikook all in one long ranty post.

To those that managed to work their way through it I have this to say:

#jikook #kookmin #minkook #jungkook #jimin #jk #jm

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throwawayhero · 24 days

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Heyyy idk how to do request this is my first time Lmaoo but I wanted to do the trio (todobakudeku) getting jealous because readers guy friends 😅 I’m not sure if that makes sense but I believe you know what I mean 🤲🏽

It makes complete sense don't worry!! And thank you for sending in a request <33

A few others have sent some in and I promise that I will get to writing them, it's just difficult to find time these days!!

Also mad respect to whoever asked straight up if I could do Bakugou smut, but we'll see ;p

—

I feel like Shoto!Todoroki would honestly squint a lot when he gets jealous. A scrutinising glare is his version of a resting bitch face when it comes to being possessive. Definitely goes a lot more quiet than usual, which is saying something.

Probably feels a bit guilty about it too. I get the feeling that he'd leave it be until he's neutral and then bring it up. No feelings were ever seriously hurt. He's probably more chill about it than people would think, and I love that for him.

; "Are you okay? You went really quiet." "I'm always quiet."

Katsuki!Bakugou though... You would definitely notice him being more distant/tense. His jaw is CONSTANTLY clenched and so are his fists. Would poke the inside of his cheek with his tongue. Definitely snappier than usual which is expected. Does not leave your side. Stares the guy down. His eyebrows are permanently furrowed.

Passive aggressiveness is EVIDENT. I can see him either NEVER bringing it up or immediately bringing it up after the guy leaves. It was definitely a problem in the beginning of the relationship but eventually stops.

; "You looked like you were going to punch him." "He was asking for it!"

Izuku!Midoriya is complicated. I can imagine him walking over and being like "What're you guys talking about?" with a smile on his face. I don't think he'd really express his jealousy in public. Probably thinking shit like "You're overreacting." "They're just friends." You know what I mean? Bro DEFINITELY feels guilty about being jealous.

He probably stands there like how he did in Two Heroes when Melissa and All Might were talking in the beginning of the movie. Holds your hand half way through the conversation because why not? I can imagine him picking at the skin around his fingernails while he stands there. It's a bad habit he picked up in middle school.

; "Have you been picking at your nails again?" "Oh.. I didn't even realise haha!"

#shouto todoroki #katsuki bakugo #izuku midoriya #mha #bnha #mha todoroki #mha bakugou #mha izuku #deku #dynamite #shoto #todoroki x reader #katsuki x reader #izuku x reader #request #throwawayhero

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cheolhub · 10 months

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YOUR MINE AND I TAKE CARE OF WHAT BELONGS TO ME + CHEOL

Also happy cheolhubversary <333 IM NOT YET DONE READING UR POST i just ran as fast as i could here when yew said ure only taking the first 5-10 reqs hajdjdjsk

12:37 a.m. — choi seungcheol

prompt. “you’re mine and i take care of what belongs to me.”

wc. ~1.4k

warnings. established relationship, frat boy!cheol, cheeky!reader, slight possessiveness, choking, pet names [baby, angel], doggy style? (idk, it’s against the door 😅) dirty talk, unprotected sex, creampie – MINORS DNI 18+

note. ok so ik i said my limit was 1k for these drabbles, but plz understand i can’t hold back when it comes to cheol. ANYWAY!! kai <3 thank u for sending an ask !! ^^ i know this is kinda… meh,, but i hope u enjoy it a little bit anyway >< (def not proofread… sorry)

⇢ ˗ˏˋ join the birthday bash! ࿐ྂ

seungcheol dragging you through a sea of sweaty bodies was the last thing you wanted.

well, no actually… it’s exactly what you wanted. your plan worked out just the way you knew it would.

your attempts to get cheol’s attention at the start of the night proved to be futile as he had to make sure tonight’s party was in order. “the frat might get suspended if another one of our parties gets out of control,” he’d said. you could care less about the frat. not with the way your panties were glued to your needy, needy core. “i just gotta make sure everything is okay. just mingle for a bit, ‘kay?”

and you definitely weren’t the happiest when he told you to wait till the night was over, so you did what you do best.

piss him the fuck off.

by the time the party was in full swing, you’d asked at least 3 of seungcheol’s frat brothers the same question. “this party is so lame,” you’d said through a sad sigh. “can you do something for me?” the question always came out so…suggestively. it was obvious you were plotting something and looking for someone to do the dirty work.

but soonyoung was too drunk to comprehend your words and wonwoo knew the second you’d walked up to him with a frown on your face. he said he’s not getting in between you and seungcheol after the last time he fell for your antics.

but vernon… vernon was the perfect prospect. he would get the job done perfectly.

“nonnie,” you pouted, much too pretty for his liking. “will you do me a favor?”

and vernon, ever the sweet angel, replied with, “anything. what’s up?”

you leaned in and ghosted your lips over the shell of his ear, “will you tell cheol that this party fucking sucks?” you felt his body vibrate against yours as he let out a soft laugh. “and tell him that if he doesn’t come fuck me, i’ll find someone that will.”

vernon pulled back and wearily raised an eyebrow at you.

“i’m not actually going to,” you explained through a laugh. “but if i tell him, he’ll know i'm bluffing. but if you tell him while also mentioning you heard this from wonwoo and soonyoung, then… you know. i get what i want and everyone’s happy.” you corrected yourself, “well, i’ll be happy.”

the thing you love the most about vernon is he doesn’t ask very many questions. you could ask him to help you bury a body and he probably wouldn’t even bat an eye, just do as you ask with a nod and a careless shrug.

he went off and did exactly that. and you didn’t regret making him do it at all.

how could you when seungcheol was seething, practically shoving everyone out of his way to find you after hearing that you needed someone at this shitty party to fuck you? you’ll have to find the loose-lipped vernon later and thank him for relaying the rumor to your busy boyfriend.

honestly, you weren’t expecting him to drop everything– to stop running the party which was the whole reason he left you hanging in the first place– just to pull you into his room, wrap his hand around your throat, and slam you against the door.

“you’re a little slut,” he chuckles, obviously amused. you smile back at him cheekily, eyes glazing over. “you think i don’t know what you’re up to?”

“what ever do you mean, cheollie?” you ask innocently, still smiling like a devil in disguise.

he leans in, lips ghosting over yours as he asks, “i mean, you really think anyone at this party can fuck you like i do? make you cum like i can?”

his voice is low and hushed and it’s making your head spin. even over the booming music from outside his door, all you can hear is your heart pounding in your ears and his slight pants.

“you’re mine.” he says without a shadow of a doubt. “and i take care of what belongs to me. got that?”

you don’t have a chance to reply when he’s tightening his grip around your throat and smashing his lips against yours. he laughs against your mouth when you let out a choked moan into his, easing his hold on you.

his free hand finds its way under your skirt, rubbing your cunt through your embarrassingly wet panties. seungcheol moans when he feels it. the lace growing wetter with every movement.

he pulls back, observing your glassy eyes and the way your wet, swollen lips part to emit a whine. his cock can’t help but twitch under the confinement of his jeans. “don’t even need me to prep you, do you, baby?” he breathily asks. “you’re soaking my hand through your panties, poor thing.”

you shake your head fervently, “just need you inside of me. please.”

“i know you do, such a needy baby. going around and telling everyone how you need someone to fuck you.” he coos, fingers catching your clit and rubbing into the sensitive clothed bud. your hands grasp at the hem of his shirt, trying to gyrate your hips for more, but you fail miserably. “impatient, too.” he hums.

“fuck, cheol, please!” you whine desperately.

he groans, ripping his hands away from you entirely before spinning you around and pressing your front against the door. you softly gasp as your cheek smooshes against the wooden door.

you hear the clanking of his belt and the zip of his zipper and you can barely contain your excitement. you flatten your palms on the door, arching your back and wiggling your ass in front of him.

he grunts at the sight, flipping your dress up and pulling your panties to the side. he slots his heavy tip between your lips and runs it through your drenched folds.

a mewl erupts in your chest when you finally feel the fat head of his cock slip into you, stretching you open as he pushes himself deeper and deeper till he’s fully sheathed inside of you. he grazes right against your spongy spot and it has your hands clawing at the door.

seungcheol lets you adjust to the sheer size of him for all but a minute before he’s pulling out and thrusting back into you.

and when his arm wraps around your middle, fingers diligently rubbing into your clit, you can’t hold the cry back. his name leaves your mouth rather loudly and you’re starting to feel grateful for the rambunctious party.

his laughs airly, “this what you wanted, baby? wanted to get fucked, yeah?”

pained pleasure shoots through your body with every thrust, every bump to your cervix, every dirty word he grunts into the hot room, and it feels fucking fantastic. you clench around him, velvet walls squeezing him tight as if they’re trying to mold to the shape of him.

“cheol!” is the only coherent thing that you can get out as his balls lewdly and rapidly slap against your cunt.

“getting close? you ‘bout ready to cum for me?” he groans, mercilessly driving into you. you probably can’t hear him over the sounds of your moans, so he just rubs circles deeper into your clit, feeling you clamp around his cock for the nth time.

you sob, a coil in your tummy getting tighter and tighter before you jerk. your walls flutter and pulse around him as you let go, creaming his dick just like you’ve wanted to all night long. you practically go limp in his arms, orgasm turning your entire body to jelly.

he groans, both of his arms now around your middle as he uses you till he reaches his own high. he’s moaning out your name as he shoots his load into your battered cunt, his warmth overflowing inside of you.

and when he draws out of you, still panting and on a high, he pulls your panties back over your cunt and stands you up straight.

you look breathless and dazed and he can’t help but grin at you.

“now why don’t we go back downstairs and enjoy the lame party?”

#[ birthday bash ! ]#seungcheol smut #scoups smut #[ ⭐️: mutuals ! ]#[ 🌷: kai ! ]#[ 🍒: seungcheol ! ]

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mj0702 · 10 days

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For @tasha95 ... I hope it meets your expectations 😅 I got a little carried away 😅😅

“Bitsy I love you... I REALLY love you but this is ridiculous” Keira said one evening after training as you two were driving back to her home

“What?” you said absently as you looked up from your phone

“The situation between you and Ona” the blonde clarified

“There is no situation” you grumbled getting back on your phone

“There is... I don't know what happened and you know I'll never push you to tell me but I have eyes and the way Ona always looks over at you and you avoiding her like the pest is a dead give away that there is a situation” Keira said as she stopped at a red light

“There is no situation” you answered

“Bitsy” the blonde said softly

“I let a fan comment get the better of me and said some.. not so nice things” you mumbled

“What did the fan said that YOU of all people let it get to you?” Keira asked her hand finding your knee to calm you down

“They asked me if Lucy and Ona where a thing since Lstans wedding or before... you know.. back in Manchester” you mumbled getting even more ashamed

“Oh Bitsy... you started to overthink didn't you?” the blonde sighed

“Yeah... I called them hypocrites” you said looking down on your hands

“Why?” Keira asked confused

“Lucy was so upset about G and I and I really thought they started before....” you left the rest of the sentence open

“... you thought Lucy cheated on me with Ona?” Keira said confused and shocked

“Kinda... yeah” you mumbled

“And that would make Ona a hypocrite how?” the blonde started do push the answer out of you a little bit

“Don't know.... I was just so mad” you said honestly

“I DO understand where you're coming from Bits... and you know I'm always in your corner but you probably hurt Ona.. I know you didn't have it easy in the past but you need to suck it up and apologize” Keira said seriously her hand still on your knee squeezing it lightly

“I know.... I REALLY know... I just don't know HOW” you said your voice a little desperate

“Ona is very forgiving you know... pull her aside and apologize – a real honest apology and I can promise you she'll forget about it” the blonde smiled encouraging “... but you hurt her”

“I know... I feel very bad about it” you mumbled embarrassed

“Good.. you are an amazing person Bitsy – just show Ona” Keira smiled as she pulled into the driveway

That was one week ago. You still haven't apologized. Simply due to the fact that every time you talked some courage into yourself and you were on the way towards Ona to finally apologize someone called her, talked to her or swept her away for some media. So you retorted to you last resort which brought you to the current situation – slumped down against Lucys front door waiting for the familiar black Cupra to pull up. You were waiting now for two hours now and there was still no one in sight. Your phone nearly dead from all the texting with your girlfriend you were down to count the pedals of the roses in the small front yard. Finally there was a car coming down the street and you got some hope that it was Lucy but you soon realized that it wasn't. So you kept on waiting – you told Keira where you were so she wouldn't freak out but right now you wished for nothing more than someone familiar next to you. The sun began to set about 20 minutes ago and it started to get dark really quickly. You were tired – so so tired. Since you were back in Barcelona – and after you kind of worked through your trauma about your ACL and the realisation that you'll never ever play professional football again – you started to kick the ball around more often. Mostly with Mapí, Pina and Patri who never said a single word about how broken you looked. Even tho the three took it lightly with you it costed you a lot of Energy to keep up with them. The first time they saw you again when Lucy brought you back from Munich, your girlfriend right next to you not letting you out of her sight for a single second – they where shocked but never ever said a word about it and just accepted everything you were willing to give freely.

So you pulled the Barcelona Jacket you got from Alexia - in a small moment between the two of you – tighter around you and got a little more “comfortable” against the door. You didn't plan to fall asleep but eventually you did. That's how Lucy and Ona found you about one and a half hours later when they finally made their way home – having stopped for some dinner spontaneously on the way and then taking a little walk at the beach.

“Bubs? Hey Bubs” Lucy said softly and started to shake you lightly so she wouldn't startle you

“Hm??” you grunted lowly not really waking up

“Come on Bubs... it's getting cold here... let's get you inside” your sister said lovingly as she picked you up like you weight nothing

“Can't... need to wait for Ona.... need to pologize” you mumbled still three quarter asleep not realizing that Ona was right next to Lucy

“It's okay Bubs” Lucy mumbled into your hair holding you tightly against her while Ona unlocked the door “You can apologise tomorrow”

“No...” you whined as you drifted off to sleep again “... trying for a week now... always someone stealing her”

“She'll be right here when you wake up Bubs” your sister said as she carefully laid you down on “your” bed before leaving the room letting the door a small bit open so you wouldn't feel trapped if you'd wake up later

“She doesn't need to apologise” Ona said immediately as Lucy came back into the living room “I know she didn't mean it”

“She needs to... for her own sake... I saw how she tried the whole week to try and come over to talk to you” Lucy said as she opened a bottle of wine since they had a day off tomorrow

“When?” Ona asked confused not noticing how you struggled to find a way to talk to her “I kept an eye on her but every time I looked she was either deep in conversation or with the Trio of Trouble”

“Mhm...” your sister confirmed while passing a glass to her girlfriend “... and every time she looked over you were either in conversation or got stolen away for media – it drove me crazy to watch the two of you looking past each other for a week”

“Why didn't you say anything?” the spaniard said confused

“Not my place....” Lucy shrugged her shoulders “... that's something between her and you”

“Morning” you mumbled once you dragged yourself into the kitchen

“Bon dia Bebita” Ona said softly reaching you a cup of coffee

“I want to apologise” you mumbled lowly after you took a small sip of coffee

“No need Bebita...” the blonde started but you interrupted her immediately

“... yes need... what I did and say wasn't okay... not at all... Lucy and Keira always told me not to listen to fans or media... I don't know why this comment got to me the way it did.... maybe because Lucy was so... shitty about G and I... I don't know... but you had nothing to do with it... I'm sorry Ona... I'm sorry I pulled you into the shit I made up in my head” you said honestly but you couldn't bring yourself to look into her eyes

“Look at me...” Ona said firmly and you thought you really fucked up and your mind started to go a million miles an hour about how you just destroyed either the relationship between Lucy and Ona or even worse for you – the relationship between your sister and you

“... Bebita... I really appreciate your apology – I do...” the spaniard started softly “... but there is no need. I know how certain comments can hurt – especially if they're made to get a reaction out of you... and I followed some pages online and not one of them posted anything about Lucys and mine relationship other than the usual – so you didn't let that comment get to you until you were out of the situation and that's worth more than every apology... at least to me... you didn't comment on it you left and you didn't bring Lucy or I in a situation where we had to think about a plan to do “damage control”... you showed me that you accept me and our relationship... and that's the biggest gift you could give me”

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shuamorollss · 8 months

Text

unfortunate unexpectations — l.hs x f!reader

In an everyday attempt to avoid the man you eternally loath. Of course, the universe isn't always by your side as you accidentally reach a dead end, with no other choice but to dance with him.

romcom, regency era, enemies2lovers, just cute bickering warnings— not proofread, first time writing this kind of trope pls bear with me. 2.6k wc + reblogs are greatly appreciated!

author's note— I'm back again with another piece ( I'll disappear for a few months after this)! I wrote this exactly on Hee's bday but I only decided to post it now since i didn't really feel satisfied with this when i finished this a few days ago :/ i still don't so I may delete this when I'm in the mood to make changes ^_^ BUT HERE IT IS!! Happy belated birthday to my hubby wubby @Heeseung 😅❤️❤️

perm tags— @jangwonie @jungwonize @luhvlyuna @w3bqrl @ineedaherosavemeenow @leaderwon

"Would you be so kind and get that for me?"

Oh how annoying. You thought, gently tricking your finger up to block your ears and releasing in an instant, wanting the bothering itchiness to fade. His arms stretched beside you reaching to the the man holding a tray with glasses of wine.

Oh how you knew he did it intentionally.

Heeseung's boldness to give you an order was extraordinary, baffling even. You were not in a higher position than him, and he wasn't much higher than you, though he was just there, and heeseung didn't want to play the "he was just there" role in your life. He always feels the need to spite you at any given time, similar to a cricket making noises while you attempt to sleep.

Though much to his dismay, you certainly do show his own place as just a nobody in your existence; to which he never seems to catch the hint of your unintrestment.

Or he might do, only walking in and out of your life in terms of spitting utter nonsense to your peace.

Honestly, it did work. It made you fume and it certainly made you want to do more than just give out the usual glare and other threatening expressions to the other.

You turn around with utter confidence, meeting the man's eyes unbothered. Your eyes observed his structure, his unfortunately dashing attire, and his pretentious face.

As you check out the details of his sleeves, your eyes darted to Heeseung's exact shift of expression, smirking.

It was certainly expected, yet so mind flaming. You'd rather just explode right then and there than to keep up with whatever he wants to pull to you.

"You know, if a lady looks at someone from head to toe for too long it must mean that they yearn for that someone." He lets out a prideful scoff, eyes mockingly going through you as he sips from the wine glass.

Disbelief in what you heard, you halted your eyes from any further notice. Proceeding to roll your eyes at the man who had unknowingly tinted your cheeks red.

"Don't be silly, I was looking at your outfit. Actually baffling but not surprising for you to wear something so… Eye-vomiting." you spit. Twirling against his view and proceeding to waltz away from his standing figure, not setting a single glance at the man behind you. A fuming smoke sets up your chest at the realization of what you had just done to that awful of a man.

You explore more of the manor by yourself, enthralled by every piece of art plastered on the clean walls. You found an inner piece at the volume of the hallway, no noble bands performing and people crowding the room as they tap their feets and hearts out, it is truly a wonder to feel.

"Lady Y/N!"

Of course, every pinch of euphoria has their cut to its end, as one of your acquaintances calls you out.

"Oh, Lady… Lily? Was it?" You asked softly and loudly, as the woman clicked her heels towards you.

The girl smiles, "Oh yes! Though please, just call me Li."

"Alright, Lady Li."

…

For moments to what felt like hours, chit-chatting with Lady Li as you both walk around the manor corridors. The both of you had now reached your very destination which was the party itself that you so desperately want to be separated with.

You timidly smile at the girl beside you, eyes widened agitatedly at the crowd. "Uhm, Lady Li," The other nodded, her eyes also seemed to be searching through the sea of nobles.

"Why did we decide to return to this room?"

Lily simpers her smile as her eyes turn fixated on one figure, "There he is!— Thank you so much Lady Y/N for keeping me company through the manor." She gives you thanks, walking away with delight eventually linking arms with a man who Lady Li might have been searching for. great.

Another woman infested with men's validation, how unfortunate.

Your eyebrows furrow as you stare at the couple in disbelief, letting out a brief sigh at the thought of almost every woman here might be just like that.

"Feeling all bitter now, are we Lady Y/N?", you trembled at the sensation of his teasing breath tickling your ear.

"What on— oh... it's you again."

"The one and only." Heeseung lets out a ridiculous triumphant smile, the smile that makes you feel itchy in all aspects of your body, it was extremely bothersome reaching to the point you would rip your hair out to the unspeakable rage you feel for the male.

"Don't make that face now, a real lady doesn't do that, well— that is, if you are even a lady." He chuckled, always digging deeper into your little actions in an attempt to reach you to the edge. How delightful.

"Your words remind me so much of my younger brother's pitiful counters." You face the opposite once more, your heartbeat slowing down at each step you take far from Heeseung, hoping to have a similar instance from earlier to happen once more.

Unfortunately, the things one desires don't really happen twice. As you hear the footsteps of the man through the crowded noise, the only shattered expectation you wish did not.

"Oh so I remind you of your family now? How thoughtful." His smirk added to his audacious response that could be sensed at such a distance you didn't even know was possible without even taking another look.

"It means you're just as annoying as my brother, don't take it as a compliment."

"I presume older sisters still love their annoying brothers nevertheless, so that must mean you secretly feel that way for me too if I remind you so much of your annoying brother."

"Oh how great, you can go stay in your own personal pride zone Mr. Lee, though that zone, will tell you to cut it out very soon."

"I doubt that, I think I can sense what's true and not true."

"Being ever so ethical now, aren't you?"

"You know what they say… I am that of a gentleman."

"Well so ethical now anymore, 'cause, you see… you claim to be a gentleman which in fact is ridiculously wrong, no, you're not a gentleman."

"Okay lady, I figured that was a mouthful to sneer."

Your eyes widened, subconsciously sighing aggravatingly, utterly lost of the others' words. "Please don't follow me."

"I'm not following you."

"You are? Don't make me feel stupid."

"I don't think I'm doing that."

You continued to walk further and further, you don't know where, it could be just anywhere to be out of this man's grasp.

not even reaching an uncomfortable minute of making your way, Heeseung finally made it way up to you for god-know-what reason.

Only a few more threads left to untangle until you implode, besides showing this man what you're capable of doing, you weren't about to do anything in front of hundreds of people.

You swiftly turn to face the man following, "Look Mr. Lee, don't even attempt to come and step closer—" the hissy grin never ever fading from his look. Before you snap even further, you raise your head as the lights suddenly turn dim, the current music start to tone down as the band plays a new mellow romance.

The both of you faced your worries, silently questioning the sudden change of atmosphere.

"Now, it is time for the party where the gentleman… dances with the first lady they set their eyes on, Amuse-toi bien!"

…

His eyes were on you, and yours on him. Slowly developing the idea you most certainly would refuse to believe.

"No." You shook your head promptly with no hesitation.

"Y/N."

"No, don't even"

"Y/N—"

"No. Not ever. Never in my life. Never in a millennia. You can serve the mediocrity of mediocrity— I am not even paying attention to what I'm saying, but just so you know, I am not dancing with you."

You groaned continuously at his spews, this chit chatter going nowhere at all. Heeseung was also growing exhausted of your opposed responses. Hearing your never ending hatred for him is never known to him, although being in this position during an all rounded dance segment, he was not about to embarrass himself in front of such nobilities.

"Y/N just—" His hand abruptly slid up your waist sending your internal nerves through every stage of shockwaves.

"What are you—" Your words began to halt from his tightened grip, slowly putting power on pulling you closer… and closer… too close to say the least.

"Just this once, we don't want to leave a bad impression at a party we're just mere visitors at." His breath fanned your neck and sent shivers down your spine. Truly a feeling between his embrace that you have never felt before.

Too much of a guilt to even feel, considering this is the man you swore your whole life to loath yet here you are. No other way of escape out of this man's grasp, other than to spend a minute and more with him following the melodious rhythm serenading within the whole room.

"Fine. This doesn't change the fact that I want to scar my name on your face."

"How romantic." His lips curved sarcastically, eyes shifts into pure mockery as it lays on you. You couldn't say if you were teased by his softly menacing gaze or comforted by it. Eitherway, you couldn't register the right words.

"Besides," Heeseung continues, eyes darting away from yours, looking elsewhere within the ballroom, suddenly a light flashes your vision, snapping you back to your current position, right in front of Lee Heeseung.

"I don't even think we could get away from this anyway, we're literally in the middle of the dance floor." His head shifts in every direction to deem his assumption correct, which you mirrored.

It's true, the both of your are really in the middle of the ballroom.

You felt blockage on your throat, as if your vocal chords refused to spit words out of your mouth. The close proximity between you and Heeseung felt extremely new, you wanted to escape it so quickly yet, quite in a state of culture shock of his careful and kind demeanor as his every step to the rhythm of the music are seemingly careful not to make a mistake or you could say in other words, step on you.

The distance soothes, your hands still intact as the both of you walk in circles. His gaze locked onto you as if a man had seen the beauty of the moon for the very first time. He was allured, not only to the sight of your eyes but also your entire attire.

Who was he kidding? He was making fun of how you looked earlier, or was it you who taunted his? Even he couldn't remember. What is this contact causing him?

His eyes followed the direction of your eyes shifting all the way to your linked hands rising, following the rhythm and everyone else's. Only then Heeseung was able to return to his composure.

Being quiet with you didn't exactly make him feel like himself. It's indeed a peculiar case, his eyes fixated on your focused figure attempting for a thought, any words, any attacks, frankly quite anything.

"I feel conceived Lady Y/N," He started, your eyes now transferring to the man.

"Did you walk all the way here on purpose just to lure me in this dance?" He smirks, deeply hoping he did not look ridiculous in your eyes, which in fact, he did look ridiculous to you, though in basic sense, he always does.

You scoffed, "Don't be such a crude, I was walking away from you, or if you didn't understand that, I was escaping you. however, you followed me. If anything, you expected this dance to happen beforehand." You sneered at your words, feeling vastly proud of regaining the upper hand.

"Now now, shifting the blame onto me?" He jokingly asked, swaying forward and backward, then continuing to circle in unison.

"Well, I couldn't be wrong." Your raised your brows at the man, receiving a tuneful chuckle.

"You're ever so ethical now aren't you?"

you scoffed, "Touché."

After a few warm-hearted rhythms, the distance slowly basking in, his hand starts to tenderly slide from your hand up to your shoulder. Now facing your back at a dangerously close proximity. The way his fingertips barely made contact onto your skin yet it still tickled, sending you into unreasonable wonders.

Lee Heeseung? Sending you to unreasonable wonders?

"What if I tell you that I really expected this dance to happen and followed you to be able to have this dance with you?" he breathes out.

Your mind stood place, frozen. It couldn't function solely because of those words.

You knew this was his tactic of his obvious teasing yet... that had sent your heart into places you did not expect for it to reach. Your breathing abruptly stopping at every emphasis you place into his words.

It wasn't any different for the man, he was hellishly anxious.

The way his hand stood still on your shoulder, then slowly sliding it down to your hand the same thing he had done at the start. He felt crazy, he couldn't grasp the feeling whether he's disgusted at this contact or was it, satisfactory?

Heeseung's breath unawaringly hitched in unison to yours.

The high-rising tension the both of you are desperate to escape yet… would embrace it more long.

As Heeseung's hand reached your hand, the distance once more soothes, or did soothe for you? Did it to him?

One spin had the same closeness return, now you two are entirely facing each other.

How did this moment feel too slow? normally the dance routine did not walk this type of pace before, usually it happens quickly before the music finally comes to its end.

The silence echoed immediately through the other's ears, having the slight worry of gkving you discomfort.

Worried? Heeseung, really?

Heeseung lets himself battle his own internal conflicts as the outer silence continued. You were in a desperate measure of developing a genius idea for a comeback yet none came into mind. The unexplained whimsical threw you off, the fact this man had to send you in this type of frenzy was never in your lists of expectations.

Yet now, at this very moment, changed your very view on your surroundings.

All because of this very man you swore to loath ever since his eyes laid on you.

One last twirl to the maiden as the band's instruments faded into the void, completing the romantic waltz.

As everyone in the middle applauded their elegant and coordinated routine just now, both you and heeseung processed your breathledd tension just earlier.

Finally having all the words reached the right parts of your brain, finally having control of your conscious, your hatred to the man came back with it.

"Aww, you really do feel deep adoration for me, Lee Heeseung." you politely curtsied. contrasting to the tone of your voice, as you reply to the man's words from a few minutes back.

Heeseung lets out a chuckle, "You know what? Maybe I do have a thing for such abominations."

"Haha. Aren't you a clever guy." You gave him a wide infuriating smile, as you turn around walking away from his presence, now leaving the man at the middle of the dance floor.

It was a peculiar state for you. You swore you completely lie instense hatred for the man, yet now you're smiling at his mere words that usually drives you to banging your head on the wall, sometimes the urge to bang his head on the wall.

Yet what happened just earlier felt, extremely out of place, something you couldn't quite explain for the time being.

You were conflicted about being bothered by it.

How it bothered your feelings, bothered you deeply.

A memory that surely the both of you would engrave in later lifetime.

...

"Wow, she called me clever."

#enhanet #enhypenwriters #k labels #heeseung x reader #enhypen x reader #lee heeseung x reader #heeseung fluff #enhypen fluff #lee heeseung fluff #lee heeseung imagines #heeseung imagines #enhypen imagines #lee heeseung #enhypen heeseung

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okchijt · 1 year

Note

Hey can you do eddsworld the main 4 with a s/o romantic head cannons

Author's Note: Thank you so much Anon for the request! So sorry it took so long in advance, I just finished my finals so I was really excited about this one and had a lot of fun with it! Hope you'll like it and that I didn't portray anyone OOC😅 And lastly, go ahead and check out my masterlist if you like what you just read and if you want to request anything yourself, thank you, and enjoy!❤

Edd

🟢 Edd would be the type of boyfriend that just wants to chill out and hang out with his partner. He's a very casual guy in every sense of the word, and so would be the relationship with him, with some physical contact and romantic gestures sprinkled in occasionally.

🟢 One of the most defining traits of your relationship is humor! You'd share inside jokes together and create made-up words only you two would understand, making the people Tom around you go insane over the nonsense you tell each other while laughing.

"How did the Coca-Cola can feel after being steamrolled?"

"It was soda pressed!"

"I fucking hate both of you"

Basically, Edd would do anything just to make you smile/laugh, no matter how stupid it might be, if he knows you find it amusing he'll say/do anything just to see your expression!

🟢 Edd likes to draw you a lot, you could be sitting, washing the dishes, playing with Ringo, reading, playing a game, etc, whatever you're doing, he will draw it! He just can't help himself, you look adorable to him no matter what you're doing so he just can't resist himself! Most of the time he'll try to be sneaky about it so you wouldn't notice so he can capture you on paper perfectly, smiling the whole time because you're his favorite thing to draw! Sometimes if he feels happy enough with the finished product, he'd present it to you shyly, hoping you'd like it.

🟢 Be grateful, because you're the only one that Edd allows to go anywhere his cola and even drink it! Being with him gives you the privilege of doing so without asking, normally if anyone else would even lay a hand on his favorite drink they'd have a rabid Edd to fight off, but with you, it's like he doesn't even notice! Which by itself says a lot about how much he loves you!

🟢 Edd might not seem like a great listener, which is true, but when it comes to you, it's a different story. Whether you just want to talk about your day or info dump him about your new hyper fixation, he'll listen to it all with a smile on his face, commenting on the things you said or asking questions. When you vent, he makes sure that you know his full attention is on you and you only. He'll listen to everything you have to say while rubbing your shoulder and once you're done, he'll hug you and try to give you some kind of advice or reassurance, even though he isn't the best at this type of stuff, he'll still try his best though. Because he can't stand to see you hurt.

🟢 Edds love language includes quality time and gift giving! He just loves spending time with you no matter what you're doing! If you're working and can't give him any attention, he'll just sit next to you or position himself where he's touching you in some type of way and just occupy himself with drawing while you do your thing. Whenever you're in a situation where you can't spend time with him, just simply letting him sit nearby and do his thing is enough for him to call it "spending time with you", cause honestly just being in the same room as you is enough for him.

🟢 As we established before, Edd likes to draw you. So logically gift giving for him is giving you drawings he made of you, you two together, or things that you like, like a favorite character or animal. He also takes requests from you whenever he doesn't have any idea of what to draw, and whatever you ask him to draw he will. When Edd has enough money, he'll spend it on some kind of gift for you that he knows you'll like. And he'll give it to you without expecting anything in return, all he needs is that excited expression of yours and a kiss on the cheek/lips and he knows spending the money was worth it.

🟢 PDA isn't one of Edd's main love languages, but he still does it to a casual degree. He's not overly clingy, but he's not distant either, he's more casual with the way he expresses his physical love to you. Like when you sit together on the couch he puts his arm around you or when you're walking on the street he holds your hand. Edd prefers to shower you with more bold PDA behind closed doors though, that's when he's the most romantic as well. He'll give you lots of cuddles and kisses, praising you and telling you how much he loves you as well. It's not that Edd is embarrassed to show this side of himself in front of others, he just feels like sharing those moments between the two of you makes it have more meaning behind it.

🟢 Edd is really opportunistic when it comes to kissing, and by that I mean he'll only do it if he feels like the moment is right or is in the mood to do so. Maybe you do something adorable, and he just can't help but kiss you wherever he can reach you first. Edd's kisses are sweet and gentle, he likes to hold you whenever he does so too. Outside of your lips, Edd likes to kiss you on the cheek the most, he finds it comforting and likes to think of it as teasing that instead of kissing you on the lips, he kisses the place closest to it, he likes feeling like a little shit sometimes, what can I say?

🟢 Will cuddle with you a lot, especially if it's a lazy day for him or he's feeling down. Edd likes to be the big and the little spoon when cuddling, it just depends on how he's feeling. As the big spoon, he'll press you to his chest while laying his head on top of yours. But as a little spoon, it's the opposite, he'll bury his head in your chest, giving you easy access to his hair. When I tell you this guy will immediately melt as soon as you start tangling your hands into his hair, you swear you can hear him purr sometimes as you play with it. Edd is honestly the best cuddling option you can get, he's extremely soft and during winter he will warm you up with no problem, and during summer he somehow is still great to cuddle with because his temperature changes with the climate you can say. Cuddling Edd is like hugging a giant soft teddy bear. Best feeling ever, I tell you!

🟢 Edd isn't clingy, but boy does he get jealous of you when he feels threatened by others sometimes! He doesn't really think much of other people interacting with you, if they're just being friendly and don't try to pull any moves on you he might even join in on the conversation or just let you have your fun while vaguely paying attention. But that all changes once he hears the other person starting to flirt with you and being a little bit too touchy for his liking. He'll pay closer attention to both of you as his expression changes from a neutral one to an irritated one, waiting for the right moment to step in as he forces himself to tolerate what's happening until he gets a clear sign from you that he should step in. As soon as he sees a sign of you getting uncomfortable he's already next to you as he puts his hands on your shoulders, squeezing them with reassurance as he gives the person a threatening smile as he says: "My partner and I need to go, goodbye!" And with that, Edd immediately pulls you away from the person and begins to drag you home. The whole way back, Edd would be uncharacteristically very touchy with you, he'd press you against him hard and hold your waist tightly as he grumbles under his breath over what happened. Jealous Edd is a rare sight for you, but when he is jealous he deals with the situation quickly and swiftly to avoid confrontation, his goal only being to get you out of the situation as fast as possible.

🟢 Dates with Edd range from casual to exciting ones! They both really depend on your/his mood, to be honest. He'd take you to a cat cafe and go crazy over the cats with you while drinking and eating delicious desserts. He loves taking you to arcades! It's an excuse for both of you to have fun while calling it a date simultaneously. Edd would just take you to places he knows you'll like or are located in the town you two live in. Though when an occasional theme park comes along, you bet Edd is dragging you there right away no questions asked! If it's a special day of yours or just an anniversary, Edd will try to be a little bit fancier and take you out somewhere nice, like a restaurant or to a movie that is extremely romantic/dramatic that he thinks you'll like or fit the "fancy" category he made up in his head.

🟢 Edd is the most basic type of boyfriend out there I tell ya! All he wants is to be with or near you all day and every day and that's all he needs! He doesn't need to have an especially romantic life with you, but he isn't neglectful either, he's just somewhere in the middle. He'll change on a whim though if you tell him to show one of his sides more often because he just wants to make you happy! He's the type of guy to shower his love on you in private while in public some people aren't even sure if you two are dating or not because of how casual he is. I think Edd in a way is near-perfect boyfriend material for does that find his specific traits attractive, and as one of those people I say he would make a great boyfriend!

Matt

🟣 Matt would be the type of boyfriend that wants to spend every single moment with you and to love you to no end type of guy. He's probably the most romantic out of the four of them, so he'd make sure all the moments you spend together show that.

🟣 It comes to everyone's surprise that someone like Matt would fall in love with someone who isn't him and even love them on the same level as he does, but here we are! To him, you are the most incredible thing in the world, someone he feels can even compete with his handsome face! He makes sure to remind you of that fact every day, because why wouldn't he? Your looks and personality are everything to him, so much so that he forgets about his narcissistic views sometimes.

🟣 In fact, Matt will do anything when it comes to helping you feel better about your appearance! Say you wanna try out a new haircut or wanna change your style, Matt is right there with you through all of it, even participating in the changes himself. He'd do your makeup, nails, hair, even skincare routine, whatever it is, Matt wants to be there and be a part of it, he calls it bonding time!

🟣 Matt doesn't usually care if other people appreciate his beauty like he does, to him only his opinion matters. But once you come into the picture, your opinion means the world to him! Anytime you compliment him, call him your: "Handsome man", or anything of that sort, this man is dying on the floor because of the amount of love and affection he's feeling because of you. No one else's opinion matters about his face or anything related to him, but yours and he makes sure you and everybody around you know that just by his reactions alone.

🟣 Since you two are dating, you are bound to get dragged by Matt to buy or find something to add to his novelty collection. You'd go on your own set of adventures for the sole purpose of expanding his collection. Matt really appreciates you going with him, it just shows to him how much you are willing to put up with for him. For some, his hobby just seems like something that doesn't matter or an inconvenience, but you don't, and he truly loves that about you. Matt 100% has a will written down somewhere that says: "If anything happens to me, give all of my novelty collection to (Y/N)''.

🟣 Matt's love language includes words of affirmation and quality time! Matt's main go-to to showing how much he loves you is showering you with praise any chance he gets! You could be looking like a hobo or a supermodel, but that man will still call you the most attractive person in the universe! Any accomplishment, whether large or small is immediately met with him congratulating you like you just won an Oscar! Not to mention whenever you feel insecure or just down, Matt will make does feelings go away in a matter of seconds because of how innocent his love for you is, he knows every right word to use to show you how much you mean to him. And he'll remind you of that fact every day no matter who you are or what you do.

🟣 You'd think Matt's second love language would be physical touch, but nope! It's quality time, baby! But I think you know that based on the examples above. The point is, anything you wanna do, Matt has to be there doing that thing with you too! No matter if it's work or something boring, he needs to be there with you! If you're busy he'll sit with you in a way where he's basically touching you and as soon as you show any discomfort or mutter that you need something, Matt is on the way to get it! Even if you didn't technically ask him to do so. He's basically like a lost puppy just following you around everywhere without a care in the world.

🟣 Matt loves PDA, he adores it! Both giving and receiving affection are one of his favorite things about being in a relationship with you! The only reason why it's not his main love language is because he finds the other two more intimate, but this easily takes third place! Unlike Edd, Matt isn't afraid to go all the way out with his affection towards you, private or in public he is all over you to some degree. Kisses, hugs, holding hands, cuddles, he will grab any chance he gets to touch you in some way. If he could Matt would glue himself to you so that he can always be with you, that's how clingy he is with his love for you.

🟣 Kisses with Matt are literally the most purest and innocent thing in the world! He holds you against him as you kiss as if you were glass, that's how gentle he is with you! Expect a lot of muffled giggles and pleased sighs whenever you two kiss, he's just so happy to have you in his life like this that he just can't help himself! Outside of your lips, Matt adores giving you kisses on the nose! He just finds it charming and adorable in a way, especially when you give him a reaction in the process, he finds them precious. It may be childish, but he's a childish man so that adds up, plus nose kisses are the best!

🟣 Cuddles with Matt are a must in a relationship with him! No occasion is needed for him to just wrap you in his arms and lay with you comfortably for hours at an end. Matt is both big and little spoon, mostly leaning towards little spoon though. When he's the one holding you, and not squeezing the living daylights out of you. Matt would be laying on his back while you lay on top of him, with your head on his chest as he kisses the top of your head every now and then as his arms are tightly but comfortably wrapped around your upper back. But as a little spoon, Matt crawls himself into a ball as he buries himself into your chest, wanting to make it easier for you to hold him. He basically feels like a giant teddy bear! Though I won't recommend cuddling with Matt during winter without a blanket, man is always cold! But during summer, it's a different story, he's basically a cooler during the warm seasons, so literally perfect!

🟣 As established, Matt is clingy af so there's no surprise that the man will act super threatened as soon as he sees others laying their dirty hands on you in a flirty way. Until Matt senses a disturbance in the force, he'll tolerate the person interacting with you if it's just in a friendly way and if you clearly don't mind them talking with you as well. But as soon as the person enters the danger zone where they start to get flirty with you, Matt will glare daggers at them as a silent threat to get them to back off. Alongside that, he'll tug at your clothes gently and whine to you that you need to go with him as he stares at you with puppy eyes. If all of that fails and the rando will try to put his hands on you, Matt immediately jumps into action! Clinging to your back like a possessive koala as he smacks the person's hand away and screams: "NO! This gem is mine! Go find yours somewhere else!'' And with that, he picks you up by the waist with his arms wrapped around it and shuffles away like an awkward penguin while holding you with a big pout on his face. He'll only put you down once he calms down a bit or you protest hard enough, and once he does you better give him lots of kisses and reassurances as you let him cling to you in any way he can as you two head back home with a still slightly upset Matt.

🟣 Matt takes his dates seriously, that's why he always puts in the effort to make them super romantic! He'd take you to places any partner would on a typical date, movies, dinner, picnic in the park, star gazing, etc. With Matt, there is no such thing as a normal date, only the best of the best for his beloved! He'll dress up super fancy and always have some kind of gift with him to give you every time. Though Matt would be happy to comply with any date idea you have, elegant/traditional dates are always his go-to because of the romantic meaning behind them by society's and his standards.

🟣 Matt is the most loving and clingiest boyfriend out there, your existence alone makes him swoon so he doesn't need much outside of his novelty collection to be happy! He's utterly devoted to you and makes sure to show you that each and every day of your relationship, so much so that everybody around you two already knows you two are together without being told so. Matt would be the perfect boyfriend for those that want to feel loved to the extreme and feel appreciated by someone, and you'd feel all of that every day with him! Top-tier boyfriend material, I tell you! No complaints here!

Tom

🔵 Tom would be the type of boyfriend that isn't really great when it comes to relationships, but for you, he tries his very best to at least be decent. He'd purposefully try to go out of his comfort zone just to prove his love for you, wanting to show you that he actually cares even when he isn't the best at showing so sometimes, but he tries!

🔵 First of all, this mad lad broke up with his bass: Susan for you so that better show just how much he cares and loves you if he picked you over his most beloved bass! Speaking of Susan, Tom often makes up songs that he plays on his bass about/for you. To which you'd always have to beg him to play you some cause he's super embarrassed about them, but with enough reassurance, he'd play you some! And if you reward him with compliments or a kiss, he may just be inclined to show you more, gaining confidence each time.

🔵 And while on the subject of music! You two would always share/recommend each other's music taste! Tom really likes listening to the same music as you whether it's yours or his, he really enjoys the moment because it's just so intimate to him. You'd share headphones, you having one bud in your ear while Tom has the other, forcing each other to stay close, which Tom secretly enjoys very much as he can't help himself but relax each time you two do that.

🔵 We all know Tom's alcohol problem, especially with his favorite: Smirnoff, which he drinks any time he can. But when you two get into a relationship, Tom tries to step back from his alcoholism for your sake. Sure, he'd gladly drink with you if you'd like, but he'd actually pay attention to the amount he's drinking and stop once enough is enough. To be honest, your existence and the relationship make him want to be better for you, and that means acknowledging his problem and overcoming it step by step.

🔵 Whether you are someone that loves Christmas or hates it, depending on which, Tom will try his best to not ruin it for you and match your energy! If you're a Christmas lover, Tom wouldn't exactly act happy about the holiday with you, but you can tell he's really trying to hold back any negative comments about the holiday for your sake. Tom may hate Christmas, but he loves you enough to try his best to not ruin the holiday for you better reward him with affection afterwards cause boy does he need it! But if you're a Christmas hater, then you already know Tom is ruining the holiday with you while calling it a date!

🔵 Tom's love language includes acts of service and physical touch! Out of everything, Tom finds it easiest to express his love for you by doing things for you whether you asked him or not. It's because he can do it without overthinking whether what you're doing is okay or not because doing something for someone else naturally makes that person happy! You could have cooked something for you two and only stepped away for a second, only to come back and see Tom already doing the dishes and insisting that he's got it covered and that you go rest. Maybe you have a pet that needs to be let out or fed and you can't get out of bed to do so, you don't even need to ask and Tom is already on it and doing it for you with no complaints, not even expecting anything in return while doing so.

🔵 One wouldn't expect that one of the main two love languages Tom has is physical touch, but here we are! Tom is actually extremely touch-starved, but won't allow himself to be touched or touch someone else until he feels 100% safe with them. At the beginning of the relationship it took a while for Tom to open himself up to such affections, but the way you took things slow and steady for him really helped and he allowed himself to feel vulnerable with you. Tom loves to give you hugs from behind, you'll be doing something while standing and all of a sudden two arms wrap around you and you can feel his head burry itself in the crock of your neck. At that point he can't live without touching you, you're his rock and he needs you to feel stable and safe. He's always touching you in some way, no matter what you're doing or what position you are in.

🔵 PDA and physical touch are basically the same things, right? Anyways, while out in public Tom is way more reserved with you because he doesn't appreciate strangers staring at the two of you, he'd still be okay with hand-holding or a kiss on his favored spot every now and then, but in private? Tom goes crazy in private, (not as crazy as Matt or Tord but still!) Basically, any opportunity he gets to show you his love for you in a physical manner he takes it. It doesn't matter what you're doing, he is touching you in one way or another. Like I said, you are his rock, his safe haven, and without you near him he'd go crazy, so holding you, kissing, hugs, hand-holding, and everything else in between is what he'll shower you daily with! Please hold him too every once in a while, Lord knows he needs it and may even have a mental breakdown from the affection alone, but he loves it I promise.

🔵 In the beginning Tom was very awkward when it came to kissing, but he eventually got the hang of it and became more comfortable! They were also very unsure and timid at the beginning, forcing you to take the lead, but with each kiss, Tom became more confident, and now he likes to kiss you with slow passion, savoring the intimate closeness with you. Besides your lips, Tom's other favorite spot to kiss you is your forehead. It's just so sweet, gentle, and innocent to him that he sometimes finds it even more intimate than a kiss on the lips. He usually kisses your forehead when you do something that he just really appreciates whether you meant it or not. Maybe you fixed the broken string in his bass for him and he'll just give you the most loving gaze and that gentle smile as he grabs your face and gives you a gentle kiss on the forehead as a thanks. He just finds forehead kisses soothing, what can I say?

🔵 Cuddles=physical touch, so Tom enjoys if not loves them a lot! Tom has a preference for being the big spoon over the little spoon. As the big spoon, it literally feels as if Tom is trying to fuse with you by how hard, he's pressing you against him. You both would be lying at your sides as Tom has his arms wrapped tightly around your lower back and his head buried in your hair as he lets the scent of your shampoo ease him. Though Tom has a stronger preference for being the big spoon, he won't complain if you're the one who wants to hold him, especially if he's feeling vulnerable that day. You'd be lying at your sides again, but he'd have his back turned to you as you hug him from behind and run your hands up and down his arms/hands to soothe him, as he feels too embarrassed to face you when he's in his low state. Again, I'm sorry but just like Matt, Tom is always cold and you'd need a blanket with you whenever you two cuddle, except for summer though, cuddling with Tom during summer feels like heaven!

🔵 As said before, Tom loves physical affection and he views you as his safe heaven basically, so he isn't much of a fan when other people touch you, but if it's a friend or you allow the action yourself, there isn't much he can do but to tolerate it. But if it's someone that's trying to get with you, that's a different story! Tom makes it plainly obvious that he hates the person just by looking at them with that huge grimace and annoyed expression on his face as soon he can tell that they are flirting with you. Unlike Edd, Tom won't wait for a sign from you or anything like that, as soon as his feelings of feeling threatened are made correct by the actions of the person flirting with you he is right by your side, hugging you from behind possessively as he puts his head on your shoulder and says: "Hey babe, is this guy bothering you?" And just from his words and actions alone, the rando gets the hint you're already taken and leaves immediately with an apology. Apology or not, that does not stop Tom from glaring daggers at the person as you drag him away back home, having to soothe him with words of affection as he grumbles under his breath about wanting to choke the person.

🔵 Tom is very awkward with dates and finds them super complicated to arrange, man doesn't have much experience with dating and wants the best for you, so he tries his best to make the dates the best they can be! Tom would never admit it, but he'd be looking up advice online on where to take his partner on a date and go based on that, which means Tom doesn't really have a specific type of date he goes on with you, it's mainly whatever the best thing he can find online, he goes with. You ain't complaining though, cause those dates range from romantic dinners to the aquarium to a musical, to a picnic! No matter what it is or where you go, your boyfriend always makes sure you're having fun.

🔵 Tom is the most awkward boyfriend that doesn't know what he's doing but tries his best anyway just to make the relationship work. He may not always understand what he's supposed to do as a boyfriend or how to do it because he is always internally freaking out if what's he doing actually works, but he'd never once make you feel like he doesn't love you. He'd remind you of that fact every day in any way he can, whether large or small. Your existence keeps him sane and happy, so he'll do anything he can just to keep you at his side, even if he doesn't always know what he's doing.

Tord

🔴 Tord would be the type of boyfriend that thinks he knows what he's doing while being a huge show off while doing so, but in reality, he has no idea how being in love and dating works. Still, he sure acts like he does cause he feels insanely confident in a relationship because he thinks it's easy and he knows what he's doing (it isn't and he doesn't) But he rarely makes you suspect that over how nice a relationship with him is!

🔴 Tord is very open with his love for guns, especially when he pulls one out of nowhere before shooting something. Even though Tord doesn't mind showing you off his shooting skills, in fact, he loves it, but he will not allow you to touch his weapon at all! No amount of reassurance will make him trust you or himself enough to give you such a weapon. He just fears something might go wrong, if there's anyone else's safety he's more worried about it than his, it's yours and he will never put your life in danger willingly no matter what.

🔴 He'd show you his little inventions like the couch one or something like that and gets giddy when you show interest in them and praise him for them. He'd never show you his dangerous inventions though, like his giant robot out of fear of losing you, but if you have an invention request for him, Tord is more than happy to make it come true! Any nondangerous gadget is at your disposal any time you want and is free to use without asking, which means something because very few people have this sort of privilege from him.

🔴 So we all know Tord likes to smoke his cigars, well, similar to Tom with his alcohol problem, he will try to smoke less if not stop entirely at one point just for your sake. Whether you made a comment about his smoking habit or not, he's sure his smoke breath just after he finished his cigar doesn't feel really good when you two kiss. So he'd try his best to lessen doing it, or at least not smoke before he gets to spend time with you just so that he doesn't smell too bad.

🔴 Tord would be the type of boyfriend to lend you his clothes but on purpose! You won't need to ask for his hoodie or anything before he one day walks up to you with his hoodie and gives it to you without a word before walking away. If you comply and wear his clothes, expect to have his eyes always on you with a flirty smirk to match. He just can't help himself but feel oddly satisfied and honored for you to wear his clothes that are always too big for you, he finds it adorable and a way of marking you by having something of him with you, but he'd never tell you that of course.

🔴 Tord's love language is unsurprisingly physical touch and words of affirmation! Out of the main four, it was given that Tord would love physical touch a ton! Tord normally isn't a touchy person at all, he avoids having physical contact with most people like the plague, but with you? It's the opposite! The second you get together he's all over you in any way and every day he can! He saves the special affection for people that mean the most to him, and you just happened to be his entire world so he makes sure you receive the attention you deserve! Sitting on the couch with his arms wrapped around you? Check. Eating together with your knees touching? Check. Driving and sitting next to each other with his hand on your thigh? Check. Just any scenario with him having his hands on you in some way is always possible with Tord. He just feels safe and comfortable being this close to you, he doesn't show it, but Tord deals with a lot of anxiety and paranoia over the things he hides from you and his friends. It can get a lot sometimes, and the only way for him to let it all out is through physical contact with you.

🔴 Tord lives for giving you physical affection, but words of affirmation are exactly on the same level for him! Tord is a natural flirt that can come up with a pick-up line on the fly without trying, that's how good he is! But flirting isn't the only way he'll verbalize his love for you, a simple thought-out compliment or praise is what you'll hear from him a lot as well. Maybe you're working on something and are getting tired of it but you have to push through when you suddenly get interrupted by Tord appearing out of nowhere as he rubs your back reassuringly and tells you how great you're doing and to remember to take breaks etc. Just like with Matt, whatever you do, and no matter what the outcome of it was, or no matter how insecure you are, you will always be met with praise from him as he kisses you all over your face. Overall, just imagine yourself in any scenario just like the one before and Tord will find an excuse to flirt/compliment/praise you.

🔴 PDA and Tord are like best friends, why would he stop showering you with love in public when you clearly deserve all of the attention you can get? He's the same as Matt honestly, there is just no stopping him from kissing, hugging, hand-holding, etc, no matter where you two are. His love for you both in public and in private is the exact same, he just wants the whole world to know who you belong to and just wants to show your relationship off! Plus Tord doesn't feel any need to tone down the affection out in public, why should he? He barely pays attention to the random people on the street anyway because all of his attention is on you, everything else just doesn't matter when he's with you so he acts like it with his affections.

🔴 Kisses with Tord happen literally almost every minute and yet he always manages to find a way to make the next one more amazing than the last. He wants you to love and remember every moment of it as he slowly but sensually moves his lips against yours with that stupid smirk on his face and half-lid eyes that scan you with satisfaction. Tord is always confident when kissing you, so there's no hesitation coming from him before his lips are on yours while holding you so close you can barely move. And all of that is what I just described how kissing with Tord looks and feels like all the time. Outside of the lips though, Tord's other favorite spot to kiss you is to no one's surprise, your neck! It doesn't even need to be sexual, he just loves to kiss you there! The reactions you give him as you stiff at his sudden touch to the neck before you slowly relax and maybe let your voice out once in a while if Tord feels like teasing you a bit with his cheeky kisses. He is a pervert after all, so you can imagine he enjoys the show you give him sometimes immensely.

🔴 Same as with Tom and Matt, Tord lives for cuddles with you! Sorry, to say but Tord is always the big spoon, under no circumstance would he willingly put himself in a vulnerable position that we call the "little spoon". The only way for that to happen is you'd walk in on him in an uncharacteristically vulnerable moment, you both know he won't reveal what made him so upset so the only thing you can think of is to lay down and hug him from behind, pressing yourself against him tightly as you whisper reassuring words into his ear. Tord would never admit it, but he really appreciated the gesture, but you won't catch him asking to be a little spoon after that, it's just not his thing. What his thing is being the big spoon though! He is literally wrapped around you like a koala the whole cuddle session, you'd be pressed against his chest with his arms wrapped around your waist and his legs entangled with yours as he lays his head on top of yours. Unlike the two before him, Tord is always warm, so cuddling during the summer is always a pain, especially because Tord can't go a single day without multiple cuddles. But during winter you cannot be more glad than to have a literal fireplace as a boyfriend!

🔴 Tord feels like everyone is a threat to your relationship with a few exceptions constantly, even if the person in question is just a friend or someone that truly means no harm Tord will always feel like he's competing over you with them. As soon as he realizes the person's intentions with you he'd glare daggers at them with an almost silent animalistic growl coming from him as crossed arms almost rip the fabric of his hoodie from how tightly he's holding the fabric. As soon as the person's hands start to move towards you in an attempt to touch you, in a blink of an eye Tord is right behind you as he grabs your shoulders and possesivly presses your back against his chest. ''Get lost before I make you" If looks could kill the rando would have been already on the floor dead from the terrifying threat and expression Tord had on his face. Before you realize what's happening the person is already bolting in the opposite direction, you only snap out of it once you feel Tord's grip on you loosen as he looks at you with a satisfied smile before grabbing your hand and walking back home. It's almost as if the situation is already forgotten by him altogether, but it isn't, in fact, he'll have that memory of you getting hit on for a while before he gets over it. He just chooses not to show you how much the situation has impacted him for your sake, though he would really appreciate a kiss or two with some reassurance as you two head home, it'll make him feel better faster.

🔴 Tord legit has no idea what he's doing when it comes to dates. Just like Tom, he'd look up advice online on how to make "the perfect date" for you. The dates he'd typically settle on are the ones he knows you'd love to go to, he'd pay special attention in conversations where you mention a specific place you'd love to go to and immediately write it down as one of the places he should take you to. Literally, anything you want he will make it happen, restaurant, theme park, cinema, arcade, etc, just name it and you're going there! Tord already knows you're enjoying yourself because he purposefully took you somewhere you wanted to go, but he'd always try to make the date even more fun with various shenanigans he does to make you laugh, making dates more memorable than they would've originally been.

🔴 Tord is the embodiment of a boyfriend that wants nothing more but to make you the center of his world if not the universe. If someone like him could get with someone like you then it's only right he makes you feel like the most special person in the world! And just like Matt, he's perfect for those that need/want to be reminded of that fact every day, whether you want it or not Tord is basically worshiping you and he'll make sure you don't forget that fact either! Honestly, you're the only reason why he hasn't taken over the world yet, you'll never know that fact personally, but it's true!

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k-slla · 15 days

Text

Fate, Or Something Like It | part 1

Little bit of a crossover between The Boys & Suits

A/N: So this is the last square filled on my first card for @jacklesversebingo ! Honestly didn't think I'd get to this, but look at that! 😄

Square filled: "You made me get out of my pajamas for this?"

Also using the chance to post it as my first entry to @artyandink's JENSEN-A-THON.:) (I was said there is no max word count😅)

Based on THIS request that an anon sent me and it will be a 2 part story :)

Word count: ~12.9k | My Masterlist

Both parts will have separate warning, in this one you will find: Slightly OOC Ben, naive reader, physical assault, choking, language, angst, mentions and descriptions of torture, use of drugs and alcohol, mentions of past traumas, partial frontal nudity, size kink(if you squint), brief Fem masturbation -I hope I didn't miss any:)

Special thanks to @nescaveckwriter - for your help and inspiration torture through all those gifs you hyped me up with! 😈Love you, Nes!

ENJOY!

If anyone would’ve asked you right now ‘Are you happy?’ you could've easily answered them with a simple ‘yes’. Saying you were a workaholic, would've been definitely an understatement, but it was a good thing that anything else in your personal life didn't require that much attention, so you happily took on as much work as possible. At least it kept you busy.

You were working at Pearson Hardman, one of the top law firms in New York. With a professional long-time dream of becoming a senior partner in the firm, you were glad to see that your efforts were slowly paying off. Only one obstacle stood in your way - Harvey Specter. Harvey was a good attorney, you had to admit that. Probably one of the best New York has ever seen, but you hoped to have a chance to prove that you were better.

You didn't hide your ambition of becoming a partner from anyone and Jessica saw how hard you worked to deserve that spot amongst them. The other partners saw that. And you knew that even Harvey saw how much you were ready to sacrifice for the job. You practically lived in your office. And if that was what it took to reach your goal then sleeping in your bed and having a personal life were small things to give up on. But Harvey shared that mentality, and you were well aware of that.

Both of you had been competing with each other ever since you met in Harvard, so it wasn't exactly a surprise that this position was basically up between you two, too. But a friendly competition hurt no one, if anything, it gave you the drive to work even harder than before. And you loved it. So yes, you could've said you were happy with your life, because then you just didn’t know yet what, or rather who was missing from it. Until you ran into the man, who'd then turn your life upside down just in a week.

There he was waiting in front of your work place one evening. You had to admit, he was hard to miss in his green super soldier outfit, but you walked right past him, which just seemed to offend him, judging by the sudden shift of his attitude. Of course you knew who he was, how the women threw themselves at him. All the ladies’ favorite Soldier Boy. You could’ve bet he expected the same kind of reaction from you he had already gotten used to.

But you didn't fall for his look. You didn't have strength to react to him in any way, so you continued on your way, trying to get home to sleep. Out of nowhere someone yanked you backwards towards the alleyway. A quick ‘hey’ was all you managed to say, before you saw that it was in fact Soldier Boy who had attacked you.

There was no one around at the moment so just screaming for help wouldn't have worked. Not that it would've even with people around you. He was huge and could easily take on anyone in a fight, but you still tried to get yourself away from him. “No! Let me go!” you grunted. Having a hard time keeping up with his long strides, you were around the building already as he dragged you after him into the alley, pushing you then roughly against the wall. “What do you want from me?” you gritted through the teeth as he held you against the wall, trying your hardest to get yourself free from him.

“Nothing much, doll. Just a little…payback.” He whispered, coming in closer to your face, his low voice vibrating in your ear. With a grin, his hand slowly rose from your chest up to your neck, cutting off the air from you. You fought hard trying to pry his hand away from your neck, but he only tightened his grip.

“I…haven't…done anything…to you.” You said with a strained voice. You could already feel his hurt, anger and hate, it was just radiating from him. You tried to get through to him, to try to ease him from all that, help him, but all you got was what he's been through for those close to 40 years that he was considered dead. Seeing what he went through, you knew that's what he probably wished for as well.

You were also a supe, but one of those unimportant ones, who besides The Seven didn't really exist to the rest of the society. Luckily you weren't shooting lasers from your eyes, so it was easy for you to hide your power from others. You were a healer. Kind of.

You could feel what the person had been through, by physical contact. That's how it usually was. It came to you as a sense of negative emotion they had, caused by their experienced distress and trauma, and you “healed” them - erased the pain etched to the memory. But sometimes, when those memories were stronger, they ran in your head like movies. Sometimes, they even caused you physical pain.

“Don't fucking lie to me! You were there! I saw you.” You already started to get light headed, but gathering your last strength, you managed to kick him. No surprise - it had no effect on him, but it still made him lighten his grip around your neck slightly.

You could feel everything he was put through. The torture. The betrayal. And all the hurt that had remained. It was too much for one person to go through, even for a supe like him.

The images of his memories in Russia started to flash before your eyes. Pictures of him restrained- being shot at, burned, poisoned, electrocuted. All that pain over and over again.

You saw all of it through his eyes. You felt everything he was put through. He may be hard to kill, probably impossible even, but he still felt all that pain and torture. It all must've left some mark on his psyche.

Hot tears started prickling in your eyes. What you weren't sure of was the reason why. Were they just your body's natural response to him choking you or did you feel sorry for him? First option sounded like a reasonable choice, but you knew your heart was leaning towards the other end. Your naivety got you believing that even someone like Soldier Boy didn't deserve that.

“I wasn't there. I heard what they did, but I wasn't there!” You couldn't tell him about your power, what you had just seen, he'd never believe you and would probably kill you right then and there.

But Ben on the other hand was sure he wasn't imagining things. He might have downed a bottle of pills and a whiskey before coming for you, but his mind was clear. As much as it could've been. He didn't get much influenced by drugs or alcohol before, but after Russia something had changed. He had no idea what they'd exactly done to him, but he started to get occasional blackouts from drugs and those fucking obnoxious Russian tracks that started ringing in his ears every time someone pissed him off. Even now he was a little bit out of it.

He knew what he saw when the Reds had him held up. He thought so at least. Every day, or night even, when they experimented on him, tried to kill him, or whatever the fuck they were doing, there was a woman. Spitting image of the one in front of him. The one that he was most eager to find.

She took away his will. His will to fight back. She took away his will to break free from his restraints and to rip the heads off them one by one, leaving as his only option to wait for his love to come to save him, not knowing she was part of the team who had betrayed him. She had left him to rot in the hopelessness of his own mind.

But focusing on the woman standing in front of him, Ben's mind was getting a little foggy. Fuck...was it even her? She's not using her power. She's scared, polar opposite to the woman he saw in the lab - cold as ice, lifeless. For a moment he thought that his mind had just started to fill the blanks. She’s…different. She's not even trying to control me. Am I just high?

Ben was getting truly hesitant of trusting himself. He almost wanted to let her go, when he realized it was just some trick on him. It had to be. She is playing with me. Like she did there.

“I saw you! You were there, every goddamn day when they tortured me! Playing your fucking mind games with me.” He wasn't giving up. He had a list. He had almost forty years to think of each one of them who betrayed him, how to make them pay. Of course he started with Countess. She sure was surprised to see him alive. And finally when he had found you, he now had second thoughts.

“No...I.. wasn't! I...please...” Your words were slowly dying on your lips. If it weren't for the group of teenagers walking by, Ben would've most certainly killed you. He threw a sideways glance at them. As tempting as it might've been, he knew better than to kill with witnesses around. Not to mention kids. He still had some reputation to maintain. Not that he really cared about that. But he knew he'd have another chance with you. He'll make sure of it. Ben let go of you and you fell straight to the ground. Without missing a beat, you grabbed your bag that you had dropped and ran from him, not daring to look back. “The fuck you're staring at?” You heard him shout behind you, aiming it towards the teens who had begun staring at you two.

When you finally got home - much, much later than you had expected - you had no energy left to cook or clean. All you wanted was a relaxing shower and a decent amount of sleep for a change. Mindlessly you sat under the hot stream of water on the bathroom floor and the events of tonight really got to you.

He was ready to kill you tonight and still you were sympathetic for him. While studying the pattern of the floor tiles for a long time, you got more certain with each passing minute that there must be something wrong with you, because there was just no other reason for you to feel sorry for him. You were so stuck in tonight's events, you didn't even notice the water starting to run colder, until the sudden icy water falling onto your shoulders brought you back. Trying not to slip, you scrambled out of the shower as quickly you could.

You couldn't sleep that night. Not as much as you had hoped at least. You couldn't stop thinking about his words that were still echoing in your head.

“You were there, every goddamn day when they tortured me!”

It was almost four decades ago. You weren't even alive then. He must've been just hallucinating there. There couldn’t be any other explanation. Wouldn't be a surprise exactly, too, if you thought more about it, considering what he went through.

Finally, very early in the morning, you managed to fall asleep. But in all those barely three hours of sleep that you got, you had one sight in mind. Green eyes. His eyes. Full of hate and anger towards the world around him, and trying to hide the pain eating him up from the inside. You knew it was probably not his plan to let it show, but he just didn't know who you really are.

For the remaining two work days you had left before the weekend, as hard as it was, you were fortunately able to push the incident with him from your mind and focus fully on work.

And on Friday night, another asshole, a lot friendlier than Soldier Boy, but still a kind of jerk, flew in to ruin your night, again, in the form of Billy Butcher.

“Hey there, sweetheart.”

Your friendship with Billy was, to put it mildly...odd. He only called you to ask “favors” regarding your power, every now and then, and while you had no reason to give in to him, you just couldn't bring yourself to say no. But considering how the last few times have gone, this time he called to probably claim your soul.

“What do you want?” Just a call from him had already put a dent into your peaceful evening, so you were in no mood for him beating around the bush.

“What? No hello?” He laughed, but not getting a reaction from you, he continued. “Straight to the business then. Can a..uh.. let's just call him a friend of mine..can he stay with you for a week?” There was silence on the line for a second. “Or possibly two?” Billy added under his breath.

“What! No!” You couldn’t get your rejection at his plan out any faster. “Not after last time!”

“Hey! Don't blame me for that. I didn't know they would…nevermind..” he muttered. “I just really need someone to keep an eye on Ben. He's.. He's been through some stuff and has a bit of a “shell shock” as one might say.”

You heard a little shuffling on the other side and a faint grumpy voice. “I don't have shell shock. Fuck you!”

“I'm not letting anyone in my apartment again.” You stood your ground.

“Sweetheart, I'm begging you! Really am! Just this one time.” You sensed from his voice he was getting a bit desperate.

“Is she bitching?” You heard that same low voice as before.

“You can tell your friend that I heard that and I do not appreciate it! My answer is no!"

“Ben, shut it. Please, I need someone I trust to look after him. He needs help and I know you, you really are the only one who can help him.” Billy said quietly into the phone.

“No. I have work and I don't want anyone in my home when I'm not there.”

“Fair! How about this then...”

You had no idea how he managed to convince you to move into their headquarters or apartment or whatever they chose to call it. Not a fucking clue. But here you were with your suitcase, ready to move in for an indefinite time. All this had only one upside for you - shorter commute to work.

Standing outside, you called through the intercom, and waited for Butcher to answer. Probably knowing it was you downstairs, he opened the door immediately. You really felt luck being against you lately, so it came to you as no surprise that the elevator, too, was out of order. With a heavy sigh, you braced yourself for the stupid amount of stairs ahead.

When you made it to their door, you were absolutely out of breath. Why couldn't I have flying as my power? That would have come handy right now. No, no, no...I am a healer. Unfair.

You knocked on the door, still trying to calm your breathing. After a moment, Butcher finally opened it. “Hello, luv! You made it!” You wanted to beat this shit-eating grin off his face. Too bad he was stronger than you. “We were about to start betting on how long it would take for you to get up here.”

“That piece of shit elevator is out of order again.” You grunted, pulling your suitcase into the room after you.

Setting it down in the living room, you looked around in the apartment. You saw only Butcher and Hughie around. “So? Where's that friend of yours?” The grin on Billy's face grew wider.

“I swear to God, if that was just some joke that you two tried to play on me..” you were still out of breath, but tried to sound threatening, although, there wasn’t much you could do to him. Maybe to Hughie, yes, if he was in on the joke, but not to Butcher.

“No, not a joke. He's real and I bet you'll get along nicely.” It seemed as if Ben had heard you, and sauntered cockily out of his room. “So, where's the new roomie...?” His smug grin only widened when he saw your dumbfounded face. You defensively took a step back. “No, Billy, hell no!”

Butcher stepped protectively in front of you. “Relax, he's not gonna bite.”

“Not gonna bite?! He tried to kill me less than three days ago.” You hissed as an answer, glaring at Ben, as you learnt was his name, over Billy's shoulder.

“And now he'll promise to behave, right, Ben?” Ben rolled his eyes at you and walked into the kitchen. “Whatever.”

You stared after him. “Why can't someone else babysit him?”

“We have some work coming up. Listen. I know what happened between you two. He told me and right after I explained to him that there was no possible way for you to have been in Russia all this time ago. But, Y/N, you're the only one who can help me. Please.” It was really out of his character to see him beg for something.

You stood in silence for a minute. You spineless piece of… You cursed yourself in your head. “Where’s my room?"

Waking up next morning you were glad that it was Saturday. You had the whole weekend to assess this…situation. You were the first one up and started making breakfast for everyone. Butcher was still snoring on the couch in the living room, as Hughie probably claimed the last free room to himself. You have always been more of a ‘forgive and forget’ type of person. Always seeing the best in people. Even if it took time to let go, you never were one to hold a grudge. It would have been totally understandable for you to walk out this time, too, but all you wanted was just to try to let go of what had happened with Ben a few days ago, so you tried to be nice.

You knew you two wouldn't be friends, not like with Hughie or Butcher, not that you were very close to them either, but you hoped that you could at least be civil around each other for the few weeks now that you had agreed to live with him.

In the middle of frying up some bacon, you heard a bedroom door opening, so it was either Hughie or Ben. A second later, from the corner of your eye, you saw a figure appear on the kitchen door.

“That's what I like to see - a woman in the kitchen, right where she belongs.” Definitely not Hughie. You were about to shoot back some snarky comment, when you finally took a look at him. “Shit...” You mumbled quietly.

Leaning on the doorway, Ben was wearing only some green floral silk robe that hung open on his shoulders. Nothing underneath it. The unexpectedness of seeing his cock the first thing in the morning hit you hard. Your mind went blank and against your will, you had to admit that you were quite literally hypnotized by him.

“Like what you see, sweetheart?” A low chuckle rang in the distance, bringing you out of your short daydream. You blinked at him and blushed hard, realizing you had been just standing there, staring at him. Talk about morning wood. After letting out a long exhale, your focus was now fully back on bacon. “P-please put on s-some clothes?”

He slowly walked towards you, not closing the robe. Heat started to climb up your cheeks when he stopped next to you. “You do like the view.” Ben said smugly and snatched a piece of bacon from the plate. Not even a question this time. He knew the effect he had on you. You couldn't even deny it to yourself.

“Stop harassing the poor woman and put on some clothes.” Billy grumbled from the couch.

“You're no fun.” Ben said to Billy before stepping in even closer to you, seizing the last of the personal space you had left and whispering. “But soon we'll be all alone and I'll tell you, sweetheart, you'll fuckin’ beg for it.” He winked and you just stared at him, mouth slightly agape.

“Bacon's a bit burned, by the way.” Ben grinned and finally covered himself before turning around and leaving the kitchen.

Rest of the day went luckily quietly, with you staying mostly hidden in your own room. Kimiko, Frenchie and MM came around noon, to talk through the last minute changes on the plan for their new job.

“So, please don't kill each other. Or I mean, Ben, don’t kill her.” Hughie smiled at you and Ben, before walking out of the door, making you roll your eyes at his back.

“And don't tear the place down, if you decide to...you know…get acquainted better. Which you probably will.” Billy said with a smirk. “If you do, you fix it up. Got it?” He continued sternly.

“Got it.” Quick slap from Ben landed on your ass, making a shrill yelp escape from you.

“Hey! We're not - I - he won't..!” Your brain short-circuited again, for the second time today, because of Ben. Butcher winked knowingly and then turned around to leave. “See ya!” With a wave, he was out the door.

You were now left alone with Ben, who scoffed beside you. “What's your problem?”

“Don't even get me started.” You mumbled quietly and walked past him into the kitchen.

“I heard that!” He called after you.

“Good!” You looked back at the doorway, and saw Ben stomping towards you. You rolled your eyes and started to make some coffee.

“No, seriously. What's your problem?” He crossed his arms.

You pinched the bridge of your nose. “Do you really want to know?”

“That's why I asked.”

You fully turned towards him and leaned on the kitchen island with one hip. “My problem is that three days ago you tried to kill me, without any explanation, you haven't even apologized and now you're acting like nothing's happened, and I'm stuck here with you because of my inability to say no. So there you go.”

“Actually, I had an explanation.” He said absentmindedly, before stepping in front of you, squinting his eyes and pointing his finger at you. “And, no, that's not your problem, but I know what it really is.” He said slowly.

You waved your arms in front of you, his cockiness started to slowly infuriate you. “Please, enlighten me.”

Ben bit his bottom lip and raised his eyebrows with a little nod. “You haven't been properly fucked for a while.” He said boldly, making you fume on the inside. “Yeah. That's it. I can see all that...frustration in you, sweetheart.” He was now grinning ear to ear, flashing his bright smile. “More than happy to help you out.” He added with a simple shrug. “You're a tad bit young for me, but I can look past it. I tend to go to women with a bit more experience.” He left you completely speechless and the grin on his face grew wider with each second you sputtered in front of him, blinking rapidly as you tried to figure out something to say.

“Ew, just stop it, okay!” You blurted out finally. “Can we just try to be normal around each other for one day, without you making some lewd suggestions about my personal life?”

Ben's eyes twinkled mischievously. “Okay.” He shrugged and then raised his finger. “I'll give you one day.” And with that he walked out of the kitchen and left you there standing, cursing the choice of words you had made.

“Fuck me..” You muttered, realizing that now Ben will probably start riling you up even more.

“What was that?” He appeared again on the kitchen door with a wicked smile on his lips, clearly hoping he had heard you correctly. You had to admit - Ben was hellishly handsome, too handsome for his own good and of course he knew that. You couldn't hold back the chuckle that escaped from your lips, seeing that little playful glint in his eyes.

“Nothing!” You called out quickly, face turning red.

Note to self - be careful when speaking to yourself. Man has super hearing.

You had to be grateful that at least Ben did keep his promise and kept to his own on Sunday.

A blood-curdling scream woke you in the middle of the night. You were certain that you had just dreamed it, because when you sat up in bed, it was all silent around you. Until you heard him again.

So this is what Butcher meant by helping him.

It now kind of made sense also, why he called you in the first place. Obviously it wasn't just to keep Ben company. You dragged yourself out of the bed and made your way to his room next to yours.

You could hear the strained screams even through the door. Not bothering with knocking, you pushed it open and entered his bedroom.

Ben was cramped up in his bed, like in a shock. His teeth were bared, grunting almost animalistically, and his breathing was rapid.

You could instantly feel your own breath getting caught in your throat and tears starting to well up in your eyes. “Ben.” You said quietly and sat down next to him on the bed.

Whatever he was experiencing right now must've been some of the most horrible things you could ever imagine.

You put one hand on his chest, trying to gently wake him up. Instead you got more nauseous every second, feeling like a knife was twisted in your guts and every inch of your skin was on fire. You were unable to control the tears streaming down your cheeks. The flashbacks you started to get were horrible. You felt every stab, cut and burn he had gotten. They made you physically want to vomit. Never before have you reacted this strongly to someone. But never before have you met someone who has experienced so much pain like Ben. You tried your hardest to keep the disturbing images from creeping up in your mind.

“Ben, wake up!” You softly stroked his head, grimacing along with him, seeing his beautiful features distorted from pain. You couldn't take it anymore. Placing both of your hands on his face, you turned him towards you. To be able to help him, you had to calm down yourself first. With what Ben went through, this was surely going to be a challenge. You closed your eyes and focused on your breathing and the feeling of his face in your arms. He still hadn't woken up, so you had to get him to calm down in his sleep.

It took a long time. It took so much more from you than it usually did. You could feel your energy drain. Ben was still cramped up, strained groans leaving his lips, but slowly you were able to ease your breathing. Tears were still flowing down your cheeks but your mind was getting clearer with each exhale, until there was nothing left. No pain. No flashbacks. You felt Ben quieting down next to you, his body slowly starting to relax. Your eyes were still closed, when you heard him waking up. You had hoped to be gone already when he would wake, but now it was too late.

“Y/N? What- where am I?” He was drowsy and confused about his surroundings. Seeing him awake, you immediately pulled your hands from his face to dry your eyes, so he wouldn't see you crying.

“It's okay, Ben. You're fine.” He rubbed his hand over his face, visibly more confused now. He turned to look at you, brows knit tightly together. “Wait, what are you doing here? What did you do to me?”

You turned away from him on the edge of the bed. “I didn't do anything. I just heard you scream and came to check on you.”

You knew he didn't believe you. You didn’t even believe yourself what you were saying.

“Don't lie to me. Who are you?” Ben sat up in bed.

“I am not lying, Ben. I didn't do anything.”

You saw that he was quickly getting annoyed, angry even. “I don't wake up from these dreams just like that. I have to…suffer through them.” Ben gritted, glaring at you. “And you are here, crying. Who are you?” He repeated himself and quickly got out of bed, pulling you up with him. “Tell me!”

“Alright, fine! Just so I can go to bed.” You yelled back. You looked down at his hand grabbing your shoulder painfully. “Let go of me, then I'll talk. Thank you.” You added in a slightly softer manner when he let go of your arm, but hesitantly waited for a second before you started talking. “I…am a supe, too, although my powers aren't as good as “The Seven” or whatever, but I am a kind of healer.” You started cautiously, being afraid of his reaction. “Like almost an empathic healer?” You added and took a glance at him. You could see he was not following you at that moment. “It means I can feel and heal people's emotional traumas. Well, I don't “heal” heal, but you know, make them less painful over time.” You were pacing around the room, not knowing what was going through his head. “That's why Butcher even called me in the first place. To come and help you.”

“Why didn't you just tell me that?” He asked, voice quieter than before.

“I don't know.” You shrugged.

Ben sat down on the bed again and you thought he wanted to go back to sleep, so you started to leave the room.

“Wait.” You heard him suddenly ask behind you. He stared after you with a questioning look in his eyes. “Why were you crying?”

You got slightly embarrassed, hoping he hadn't noticed that. “Um...Well, when I say I feel the pain, I actually tend to feel it. It comes to me almost like memories or sometimes flashbacks through the eyes of the person going through it, but..uh..I feel it all that too. Tonight was actually the first time I've cried. It was just too much today.” You stood on the door and kept your eyes down on the floor.

Feeling like you had overshared, you quickly muttered “good night” under your breath, and almost ran out of the room. You heard Ben call something after you, but you didn't stay to hear what he had to say. He didn't follow.

Now it was Monday morning and you were again making breakfast before you had to go to work. After leaving Ben's room last night, you couldn't fall asleep, so you tried to think of a few simple rules to have set up for the time you two were living together. But with Ben being as he is, you were certain he'd not welcome them warmly. So first you needed to bribe him. Just a little.

You had set everything on the table, coffee, bacon and eggs and whatever else you thought he'd like for breakfast. You sucked in a quick breath before you went to wake him up. You knocked on the door and opened it. “Hey, Ben! Wake up!’

He only lifted his head to look at the clock on the bedside table. “No.”

“Yes. We have to talk before I go to work.” You picked up some sweatpants and a t-shirt from the chair by the door and threw them on his bed. “And put some clothes on.”

When he saw that you were not leaving, Ben finally sat up in bed. It took all of your willpower not to let your eyes wander over his body, barely covered by the familiar green silk robe. “Damn it, woman. It's 7 in the morning.” He opened the drawer next to the bed and pulled out a ready rolled joint. You made no effort to hide the disgust on your face as he lit it and took a long drag on it. “Seriously?” You looked between him and the reefer between his fingers.

“What?” He shrugged, clearly it has become a part of his routine.

“It's 7am. That's really the first thing that goes into your mouth in the morning after waking up?”

Ben pulled the blunt from his lips with a smirk and took a long look at you up and down. “I mean, if I'd have you in the bed with me, this definitely wouldn't be the first thing in my mouth.”

You crossed your arms on your chest, hoping to hide the jolt of unexpected arousal that ran through your core.

“Stop that. I made breakfast.” You said sternly as you walked out of his room. “And put the clothes on!” You added over your shoulder.

You sat at the kitchen table with a notebook, writing down some basic rules you'd both have to follow. You hoped that Ben could be reasonable about these few things. It was nothing major. Just to make sure you both agreed on cleaning after yourselves and some compromises over cooking.

After a little while Ben finally joined you in the kitchen. You were focused on reading a news article on your phone, when you heard him opening and closing the cupboards looking for a cup for himself. You looked up at him, and you almost choked on air, but managed to disguise it as a simple cough. Of course Ben wasn't fully dressed. It was clearly too much to ask of him.

His bare back was turned towards you, muscles flexing as he reached for a cup. You didn't want to, but couldn't hold back on checking out the rest of his body, too. More importantly, you were quietly admiring the way his sweatpants hugged his butt. Usually you were not one to thirst over men, but something about Ben felt different. You almost had completely forgotten his attack on you, which you knew was wrong, but given what you saw that night then and now again last night, you knew that there was more to him than he let on. He had been through a lot and it wasn't his fault. You wanted to believe that not all of it at least.

You gave Ben a few minutes to wake up properly in silence. You decided that you weren't going to talk about last night if he wouldn't bring it up himself.

“So, I wanted to talk about house chores with you.”

He looked at you with a completely dead face. “You made me get out of my pajamas for this? Are you having a stroke?”

It was not easy for you to hold back laughter. “First of all - no, I'm not having a stroke.” You took too big of a bite out of your breakfast sandwich. “Secondly - you really call that silky green pornstar robe a pajama? Are you a five year old?” You started choking on your food, trying to keep a straight face asking this from him.

“I don't know. Sounds to me like you're just jealous. I can lend it to you, you know? It's very comfortable.” A genuine smile, the first one you’ve seen from him, lit up his whole face. He took his plate and got up from the table. God, he’s gorgeous. You gave yourself a mental slap and stopped that thought right there. NO, Y/N. You can’t think like that. He literally tried to kill you. It started to feel dangerous already being around him, and it was only the start of the third day. You cleared your throat before speaking.

“No, seriously though. We have to set up some basic stuff to keep the place tidy for both of us. It's not the 50s anymore. Women have jobs now, you know. I have a job, too and I will not take everything onto my shoulders.”

“Mm, yeah, not gonna happen.” Ben took his food and disappeared into his room.

“Oh, come on! Ben!” You called after him, but the only answer you received was the loud thud from the door shutting behind him. This went as well as I had expected. You sighed defeatedly and started to clean up the kitchen before heading to work.

Meeting after meeting, one deposition on top of the other, your day passed excruciatingly slow. And it was just Monday, which was already the downside to begin with.

On your way out of the office building, you pulled out your phone. On your lock screen glowed notifications of unanswered calls and a message from Ben, asking you to pick up some whiskey and drugs.

You rolled your eyes, already regretting giving him your phone number. Hughie had taught Ben how to use a smartphone. You can only imagine how that must've looked to a bystander. For a scrawny little dude, Hughie must have iron nerves to have kept up with Ben.

Before you could text him back, a call from Jessica came in and a sense of dread washed over you.

“Hi, Jessica. What can I do for you?”

“Hello, Y/N, I know you left the office for the day already, but please come see me first thing in the morning. We need to talk.”

We need to talk. That definitely didn’t ease your mind. You breathed deeply for a moment before answering to her. “Alright, I'll see you tomorrow.”

You knew what this was going to be about. They’ve decided on who to offer the Senior partner position. And judging by Jessica’s voice, it probably wasn’t going to be you. Scratch that. It definitely wasn’t going to be you.

You did a quick trip to the grocery store, picking up coffee and some things for dinner tonight. And you didn't forget Ben, and got him whiskey, although drugs were where you would draw the line. You will not be one to supply him with drugs.

Walking home from the corner store, you had some time to think. You wanted that position. You wanted to give your contribution to developing Pearson Hardman to its best. You wished to have the same kind of impact on junior associates, like Jessica had on you when you first started in the firm. You’ve given a lot to work yourself up. It didn’t feel selfish to you to think that you deserved that. But even if you wouldn’t get it, you knew it wouldn’t be the end of the world.

Becoming a partner would be one of your biggest goals in professional life, but at the end of the day, you were still working to help people. And that's what matters. That’s what you tried to focus on at least.

You tried to push all the work thoughts out of your mind so you could relax just for a few hours that's left of the evening before you'd pass out on the couch. You threw together a quick dinner for both you and Ben and went straight to bed afterwards, hoping that you’d get more sleep this time.

But again, you woke up in the middle of the night, hearing his screams from the other room. It was only the second night and already you could feel it drain you more than the last night.

You stood at the door for a minute, just staring at him. How you were supposed to last two weeks or longer doing this almost every night, you had no idea, but now you knew that you couldn’t just leave him either. If it was in your power to help him, you had to at least try. No matter what he’d done. No matter what he would do. Knowing what he had gone through, it had already become impossible for you to just walk away from him. So you didn't.

For over an hour you were by his bed tonight, barely holding yourself together as you got him through the nightmare.

“I don't need your help. I'm fine,” Ben snapped at you as he woke up and rested his head against the headboard with a sigh.

“Yeah, looks like it.” You stared at him for a minute, but seeing he wouldn't even look at you, you scoffed and got up from the bed.

“Fine.” You left his room in a hurry and closed the door behind you with a loud thud.

You pulled the blanket over your head, trying to fall back asleep. After laying in bed for almost an hour, you finally managed to get some sleep, but only a short time later, your alarm pulled you out from deep sleep and you had to back down from the urge to throw your phone across the room. Exhaustedly you sat up in bed and let your legs hang over the edge.

You had all your hope put into a morning shower and a strong coffee to make you somewhat functional, but today they chose to let you down. You were still tired and distraught from Ben's dreams from the night.

You know that these dreams are tormenting him almost daily, but if he says he doesn't want help, should you even keep doing that? Should you still put yourself through all that pain? It hasn't been this bad while helping others, but with Ben, everything felt tenfold stronger. You could feel yourself being so close to breaking already.

Jessica was already in the office when you arrived, despite it being a few hours before the official start of the work day. She really is the perfect example of a self-made woman and you were definitely lucky to have her as a mentor.

You knocked on the open door of her office. “Hi, Jessica, you wanted to see me?”

“Y/N, good morning. Yes, come on in.” Jessica greeted you with a smile as you stepped in. “Close the door and take a seat, please.”

You sat down across from her. She already had the look. The same look she always gets when she has to give bad news. You knew what was coming, but still you held onto the small glimmer of hope that the outcome would be in your favor.

“I asked you to come here to tell you that the board had a meeting yesterday. All the partners voted on who will be offered the open Senior partner position.”

You took a deep breath and nervously started to play with your rings under the table out of Jessica's sight.

“I want you to know that we were thinking in favor of the firm and the decision was purely made on professional aspects. That's why we're going to move forward with Harvey. I hope you understand.”

“Right, of course. I do understand. He's..” you swallowed the lump in your throat before continuing. “Harvey is a hard worker. He's the right choice.” You smiled at her, trying to hide the disappointment in your voice.

For the rest of the day you buried yourself into work to use it as a distraction. Because that's what usually keeps you from spiraling down. Today you hoped it would keep your mind away from Ben, too.

For the whole day you had managed to keep yourself from thinking about him. You were busy. You just didn’t have time to thirst over him from that one moment you saw him without a shirt.

Or that morning in the kitchen…almost naked. But now in your quiet office? It was hard not to think of him. You swallowed hard before forcing your focus back to the papers in front of you. You were berating yourself for even giving him space in your head. You knew the guy for three days and he had tried to kill you. Literally.

But something about him still pulled you towards him. And it was much more than just sexual attraction. You weren’t going to lie to yourself - he was hot. Goddamn, he was hot and you wanted him all over you. And if keeping your dignity wouldn’t have mattered to you, you probably would’ve jumped his bed yesterday morning. But something else captivated you about him and you couldn't put a finger on it.

It was well past 9pm when you heard a startling knock on your office door. You raised your head quickly and saw Harvey at the door.

“Hey, you're still here this late?” He asked curiously, leaning on the doorframe. Letting out a deep sigh you started to gather together all the papers scattered around on the table.

“Just finished. It's not that late, is it? Time just flies when you're having fun. You of all people should know it.” Tired smile on your face betrayed how you were feeling on the inside. You cleared your throat. “I saw Jessica this morning. I guess congratulations are in order.” You stood up from the desk and reached out your hand to him.

The air in the room was dense from the tension between you and Harvey. “You don't have to do that.” He gave you a little, sad smile.

“Do what?” You lowered your hand back down after seeing him not reach out to it.

“You don't have to pretend that you're happy for me, Y/N. I know you wanted that spot, too.”

For a moment the room fell silent, the only sound in the office was quiet shuffling as you packed up your bag to leave. “I'm not.” You zipped up your bag and threw it over your shoulder. “I'm not pretending, I mean. I am happy for you.” You quickly followed up before he'd get the wrong idea. “They did what they think is best for the company, and you deserve it, so of course I’m happy for you.” You smiled genuinely as you walked past Harvey into the hallway.

“Thanks.” He still sounded hesitant, but from you there were no hidden meanings behind your words. You really were happy for him. He is a good friend of yours and has been for a long time. That didn’t mean that you weren’t just a little jealous of him.

Cool night air hit you as soon as you stepped out of the building. You were tired, but you didn’t want to go home yet.

You started to walk, completely unsure of where you’d end up. Mindlessly you wandered around on the streets, witnessing the start of the night life in front of your eyes, despite it being Tuesday.

One underground bar caught your attention, and you decidedly walked towards it to check it out. You weren't planning to stay longer than for a drink. Working with a hangover was hell on earth, so one time was enough for you. You had definitely learned from your mistakes and were not excited to repeat them.

From the looks of the groups of people lingering outside of the bar, you expected it to be crowded to the roof, but you were pleasantly surprised that there were not that many people in there, and you even had the option to choose seating for yourself. It’s still early, you thought as you picked out a table in the far back corner.

You sat down right beside the wall, facing away from the rest of the room, leaving an empty seat between the table and wall.

You sat there for a minute, massaging your temples to get rid of the headache that slowly started to build. You hadn't slept well for the past few nights and it started to get to you.

After getting your drink, you sat back down and raised the glass to your lips, when you heard a voice behind you, the same one you were trying to run away from right now.

“Didn't think I'd find you in a hole like this.”

Fuck. Now I'm imagining things, too. You downed the drink in one go. You had planned on sipping on it slowly, savoring it. You winced as the whiskey burned your throat going down. There were heavy footsteps approaching and then he sat down across from you.

“What are you doing here?” You sighed tiredly.

Ben flagged down the bartender. “What does it look like, sweetheart? I'm getting a drink."

“Why here? Were you following me?” You asked him straight up.

Ben scoffed. “Hah, don't flatter yourself. I like this bar.”

“Really?” You didn't hide the disbelief from your voice. You had a feeling that he wasn't telling quite the truth. “What's the name of it?”

You saw from his expression that he was racking his brains to come up with some name. “Little…Sal’s?” A grin broke out on his face. “What?”

You grimaced at his stupid answer. “No, Ben, it's not...that. Why were you following me?”

He shrugged his shoulders. “I don't even know. I tried to call, but you didn't answer.”

“Well, that should've been your first clue that I didn't want to talk.”

“And you didn't come home either.”

“Should’ve taken that as a second clue. Don't tell me you actually started to worry about me?” You winked at him teasingly.

“Well, it's not safe for a woman like you to be out alone at this hour.”

“A woman like me?”

“Yeah. In my experience, beautiful women like you tend to meet troublesome men, who then try to take advantage of them.” He smiled at you amusingly.

“Oh, is that so? And you thought, what, that you'd come and save a damsel in distress?” You got up to leave. “I can take care of myself.”

“Y/N, please. Stay for a drink.”

“Already had a drink.” You answered him curtly.

“Well, humor me. I can see there's something bothering you.” He ordered new drinks, one for you, too and it would've been impolite to not accept it. That's how you tried to convince yourself, even though you were pretty sure he would've just drank it himself, if you would've declined.

He pushed a glass towards you as you sat back down. “As an apology.” You laughed wryly at his gesture. “I would actually like a real apology as an apology.” You then squared your shoulders and looked directly at him.

You could see him tense up, as if saying three little words would somehow now break him. You didn't want to let him see how intimidating he actually was to you. You had already seen what he had been through, but at the same time you were well aware of the atrocities he was accused of and what he was actually capable of doing. In every sense possible, Ben was a dangerous man. And now you were calling him out to apologize to you, knowing very well that if anything sets him off the wrong way, he could blow up the bar and half of the block with it. Your heart was almost jumping out of your throat when the two of you kept staring at each other in silence.

You saw his jaw slack. “Fine.” He gritted through his teeth. “I'm sorry."

After practically pulling these words out of him, you decided you were not going to accept them this easily. “For what exactly?” Your head was turned to the side as you squinted at him quizzically.

“Oh, come on! Really? I said I was sorry!” He fell back in his chair.

“Yes, really! I'm not going to accept some half-assed apology after I had to drag it out from you!”

Ben leaned in on the chair and took one of your hands into his. He probably heard how hard your heart was beating at his move, given that little smirk on his lips which disappeared quickly.

You wanted to believe. For the sake of your own heart, you wanted to believe that Ben was actually a good man, because you started to get scared of where you were heading with your scaringly, stupidly fast developing feelings. You hadn't even had a proper conversation before other than the one you just had.

“I really am sorry for assaulting you. I... I was completely out of my head and…I think high, too” He seemed to be genuinely sorry. “...and unfortunately you got caught in the way.” He squeezed your hand assuringly.

You bit your cheek and you were torn. Your mind was screaming ‘run and don't look back’, but in your heart there was a gaping loneliness. And that loneliness spoke louder. ‘Just give in. Give in to what you want and tell it to him. You just might have a chance of happiness.’

“You know, I can not tell you to trust me. Not after what I did. I can't make you believe that I've changed. That has to be your own judgment call. And I know I haven't really given you much to look for the positive in me and for that, I am sorry, too.”

You didn't know what to answer him. It was like he was reading your mind. He let go of your hand and raised both glasses. You took one from him, silently accepting the apology. You both finished your drinks in silence, before Ben started to talk again.

“So...Who pissed in your Cheerios?” He leaned forward on the table.

“What do you mean? Other than wanting you to apologize to me, I'm fine.” You tried to brush it off.

“Well, don't get me wrong, doll, but you don't exactly look the type to go to bars on Tuesday evenings. Alone. Yet here you are.”

You downed the last sip and raised a finger to stop Ben from ordering more. You winced a bit, still not getting quite used to the burn. “None for me, thanks.”

“Well, suit yourself.” And he ordered himself a new one. You were debating in your head on how much you really wanted to let him in.

“Will you tell me? Or will we just consider this night to be over?” He asked again.

“It’s just some work stuff.” You said then quietly.

“What about it?” He seemed to really want to know. You didn't understand him at all anymore. On Saturday he didn't even apologize to you for his attack and then made some vile comments that totally had started to mess with your head, and now he is showing interest in your work.

“Why do you care? Why are you so nice to me all of sudden?” You snapped, maybe a little too harshly even, but it was hard for you to keep it in. Ben raised his hands up. “Relax, okay? It's not that I've started to ‘care’. I just..” he scratched his beard, trying to find the words.

“You just what, Ben? You are honestly giving me fucking whiplash with how you have acted after…after that night.” You finished with a shaky voice and crossed your arms on your chest, but you weren't quiet for long. “Not to mention all that crap in the kitchen. And now you are here, let me rephrase it- you followed me here,” you corrected yourself. “And you are asking now ‘who pissed in your Cheerios?’” you made your voice low, comically imitating his. “Well, I guess you did, Ben. So why are you really here?”

“I..” he took a deep breath in. “I'm just trying to be nicer, okay? You don't...” he rubbed his palm over his eyes and beard, as you continued staring at him frowningly. “You have no idea what these last two nights have done to me.” Ben said quietly, voice heavy with what was for him a new, unfamiliar feeling of genuine gratitude. “After you've left, I've been able to fall back asleep, without those nightmares and…it's clear to me that you have not.”

You weren't going to lie to him that it was nothing. Because it was not. You had never expected to be so affected by him. By his pain. And you really were tired. You stared at your hands on the table noticing how you’ve unknowingly started to pick on your nail polish, seeing it chipped on the edges. Maybe you chose wrong, but it was either him or you. “That's why I came in the first place. To help you, Ben. That's what I do.”

“But that's the thing. You help me, but that shouldn't come from your account. And don't get me wrong, I've been needing good sleep for quite some time, because after that..” he left a little pause. “...chamber, all that there's been for me, are just those nightmares, but you don't deserve to go through that for me.”

“How else would I be able to help you then? You didn’t deserve it either.”

“What do you know of what I deserve?” An insincere smile creeped on his lips. “And why should you even help me? You don't know what I've done. Or what I'm capable of doing.” Ben hinted, leaning towards you over the table. You weren't sure if it was one of his scare tactics, but you refused to back down.

"Because of what you just said to me! You told me you've changed. And I've seen what they did to you. I'm not believing for a second that it was all justified.” You reached over the table for his hand. You knew how naive you must’ve sounded. “Deep down you know yourself that you're not a bad person. If you were, if you didn't just care about anyone, you wouldn't have come looking for me. And I should help you, just because I can.” You weren't really sure whether you tried to convince him or yourself.

He pulled away his hand and quickly stood up. “Don't give me that crap!” Suddenly agitated again, he stomped out of the bar. With a heavy sigh you pulled out a few bills for the tab and followed him out.

You didn't see him outside the bar and had no idea if he went home or not, but that's where you were headed.

It was only just a little after midnight when you got home, but Ben was nowhere to be seen. At least I'll be able to sleep peacefully tonight. You thought spitefully and regretted it immediately.

Karma's a bitch indeed. You thought while laying sleepless in your bed, contemplating everything that had happened in the past week.

First of all - the night you first met Soldier Boy. That’s who he was then, before you got to know him. Before he became “Ben” to you. You’ve just seen some glimpses of his past, that’s all. But now he still has claimed a special spot in your mind, even after what he did.

You really didn’t know him at all before all this happened. Just what you’ve seen being published by Vought to the masses. And you always knew to take their words with a grain of salt.

Secondly, you weren’t sure whether to believe his own words either. He was so sure that he did not deserve your help from his night terrors. And you didn’t even know why, but for some reason that crushed you. Maybe you had just fallen for his charm, without a second thought, but his certainty of being so sure of that had to come from somewhere. Somewhere much deeper and you hoped to have a chance to find it out.

But what came as the biggest realization, was what you finally understood about yourself. You had been alone since childhood, only found your friends when you were in college, and the closest who had stayed even after graduating was Harvey. Only now you were mostly just coworkers to each other.

Being alone had made your skin thick, and you learnt to suppress your emotions well. That was the reason why you were so good at your job- you just couldn’t allow yourself to get too emotionally attached to the cases, because you have had the first hand view of good attorneys making grave mistakes, when they’ve gotten influenced by the cases or clients. And now, after years of shutting down your feelings, you know why helping Ben was so important for you. Even his pain made you feel something, and you were more than glad to find out that your heart hadn’t turned completely into stone yet.

You decided there was no point for you to just lay there in bed, so you thought you'd get up and just go to work early. At least that would make you feel useful. Sitting in the kitchen, drinking your coffee you felt eerily weird knowing that you were alone again. You hadn't heard Ben come home during the night and when you woke up, stopping at his door, you didn’t hear his snoring too.

For the whole day you had a gnawing feeling inside. The conversation you and Ben had felt far from finished when he left the bar last night. You weren't sure if he's going to be home in the evening too. Home. You let out a short chuckle staring at your computer screen. It felt funny to think of it as home. You had been there less than a week. This wasn't your home. Not really. But somehow you already got attached to the place, or rather your roommate and you weren't sure how to feel about it.

Few hours later you felt your eyes growing tired and everything started to get hazy. You had been staring at the computer screen far too long and when you were satisfied with what you got done today so after getting the final case files revised, you counted the work day ended.

Standing in front of the apartment building you were once again cursing its existence. Getting down the stairs was easy, but after work climbing up them was the worst imaginable thing for you. Sure, it was good for your health. Cardio and whatnot. You never have time to go to the gym anyway. You just couldn't wait to get used to them. Until then you had no shame in taking off your heels and taking the stairs in stockings. The feeling you got was indescribable, making you let out a sigh of relief.

You fumbled with your keys to open the door, only to discover that Ben had it chained up from the inside. “Oh, come on, Ben! Open the door!” You called in from the cracked door, before closing it. But he didn't came to the door and it felt like it was straight out of some comedy - you, locked out of the apartment, without shoes like some crazy person and of course, of course, in that moment the neighbors happened to come out of their apartment as you were pounding on the door for Ben to let you in. “Open up! Oh- sorry!” You smiled at them apologetically and stepped out of their way to let them past you.

“Alright, alright, stop with the banging! I'm coming.” You heard his muffled grumpy voice through the door.

“Finally…” you mumbled to yourself.

When Ben opened the door you just glared at him for a second. “Why do you, of all people, need to chain the door from the inside?” You pushed past him into the room.

A barely hearable “oh” was all that left your lips when your eyes stopped on the bottle of lotion and a tissue box on the living room table. Suddenly you felt very grateful for him locking up the door.

“So this is what you do when I'm at work? Must be..” you made your eyes exaggeratingly big, even though he didn't see it. “..exciting.”

“It was, yes.” He was already in the kitchen, pouring himself a drink. “Would have been even more so, if I would've been able to finish just now.” He came back to the room, a big smile on his lips and handed you a glass as well and waved at the couch. “Sit.”

You frowned, looking down at the couch too. “Do I want to?”

“Don't be such a prude.”

You rolled your eyes at him and took a seat. “I'm not a prude.” You mumbled quietly into the glass as you started to drink.

You tried to relax next to him, but in his presence you now felt an awkward silence fall between you and Ben.

Anxiety started to slowly rise in your chest thinking about the conversation ahead of you.

“So, Ben. Did you want to talk or were you just waiting for me to spend some quality time together?”

“Yeah, I was just waiting for you,” he answered. “Because you are such a joy to be around.”

Rolling your eyes, you swirled the amber gold liquid in your glass, and shifted in your seat to turn more towards Ben. “Shoot.”

“You know, you don't have to do this, right?”

Here we go again. About how he doesn't deserve my help. You sighed, waiting for him to continue.

“I'm serious. You can just leave. You should've left after the first night. Why are you putting yourself through this?”

“Because I want to help you."

Ben laughed at your words. “Now you want to help me? You didn't seem so keen on doing that when you first saw me.”

“Well, excuse me! I'd like to think my first reaction seeing you was totally justified, considering that you literally tried to kill me a few nights prior.”

“So what changed? Why are you torturing yourself with me?”

“You wouldn't understand. I–” you clamped up and finished your drink instead.

He snorted beside you. “Try me. I'm smarter than I look.” But without another word you got up from the couch and went to the kitchen to grab the whiskey bottle.

“It's just…” you looked at him quickly as you topped up your glass. His eyes were focused on you, indicating he was actually interested in hearing what you had to share.

“It's just that for most of my life I have been alone. Of course I only found that out later, but I was supposedly one of the first babies who got some new experimental version of the Compound V. They found me in some orphanage, where I was quite literally dumped at, so probably they thought ‘perfect, no one will miss her, let's fuck her up’.”

You emptied half of your glass. You even surprised yourself with how easily your story flowed out of you. This is the first time you ever talked about it. Something about him just made you feel safe enough to finally do it.

“I was kept in for a few years, for all kinds of tests and stuff, but when they thought that the V didn't work on me, I was once again thrown onto the streets. Hadn't one of the workers saved me, I probably wouldn't have seen double digits even.”

Thinking back to your childhood, you started to feel your eyes watering. Feeling silly about crying at that, you chuckled, before taking in another sip.

“Sounds like a happy ending, right? Well for me it was out of the frying pan, straight into the fire. For a little while everything was good. Then one day it started to seem like even just me waking up in the morning was an immediate day ruined for my mom. Being belittled and scolded by her became a daily occurrence for me. And if I dared to make a sound then I'd get the belt. “A failure” she used to call me. And that's just what I was. A failed fucking science experiment.”

You sniffled, sipping the whiskey and relishing in the burn it left in your throat, taking the attention from the pain that suddenly filled your heart. “But I pushed through it all. Until she died, when I was in senior year in high school.”

You tried to laugh through the tears. “I get a feeling you didn't ask for my whole life story, but that's what you're getting now.” You exhaled slowly and cleared your throat before continuing. “Well, even when she wasn't that nice or caring towards me when she was raising me, it was still just me and her. And apparently she cared a lot more than just a little, since after her death I found out she left me her apartment and an inheritance big enough to help me start college and gave me a little more time to find a job. And for that I have to be grateful, because I wouldn’t be here without her.”

“When did your powers show?” Ben finally asked. You were almost certain he had fallen asleep, but no, he was still listening. You dried your tears with the sleeve of your shirt.

“Jesus, woman, take a tissue.” Ben awkwardly offered you the tissue box from the table and your eyes went big seeing his gesture, but smiled at him, pulling a few out of the box.

“Uhh...thanks..It was in college. Sophomore year I think. Don't really remember how they started then. And I never told anyone, not even Harvey, who was my best friend then. Now it feels like we only speak to each other, because we work together.” You were feeling a little lighter to be able to get this off your mind. “Anyways, you wanted to know why I want to help you?”

You smiled at Ben, and saw his eyes softening just a little, but he was still clearly uncomfortable by your crying. “Yeah.” It was weird having him being so nice with you.

“Well, growing up like I did, I learned to close up all my emotions. With the job I have, I can't allow myself to make errors because I've gotten too attached to a client or a case. That's against not only my personal morals, but also the company's ethics, because in the end it would only end up with me screwing up my work. I can't afford that. How is it all connected to you? Well…” you looked directly at him. “This sounds so horrible, but even just feeling your pain makes me glad that everything I've gone through hasn't turned me into a senseless zombie yet. At least the pain is something.” You laughed humorlessly, feeling glad to see your little breakdown passing.

He remained quiet, visibly in thought and you couldn't even take a guess what was going on in his head.

For a while both of you drank in silence. Of course Ben did most of the job with emptying the bottle, you couldn't possibly outdrink him, but you didn't fall far behind and you knew already that you were fucked at tomorrow’s meeting. Figuratively. Sadly.

You had to give him some credit. He definitely wasn't wrong when he accused your moodiness with being too long without getting laid. The question was now if his offer to help you was still standing, but you didn't want to seem too desperate by just asking him to fuck you. Trying to get your mind off him, you decided to grab a new bottle from the fridge and ditched your glass, drinking it directly from the bottle. Ben seemed a little surprised for a second but accepted the bottle when you offered it to him.

“What is this shit?” He grimaced after taking a big sip from the bottle, and looked at the label, furrowing his brows. “Honey Whiskey.” You held back your laugh, seeing his face and added innocently, without revealing that this is what you usually drink. You just can't help it, you like your alcohol sweet. “They didn't have anything else.” He only rolled his eyes at you, and made a little face before drinking again.

“So what about you, Ben?” You asked as your eyes relaxed on Ben's lips, coming off the bottle with a drop of whiskey on them. His tongue quickly darted out to lick it up, but it seemed to happen in slow-motion and you desperately wished you could've been brave enough to do it yourself. To taste the sweetness on his lips. Instead you wet your own drying lips from the sight of him, before he looked at you. He caught you staring and his green eyes held you locked with a burning gaze for a minute. Coughing awkwardly, you quickly turned your eyes down from him.

“What about me?” He finally asked, scoffing at seeing you shy away.

“Why are you so convinced that you are so undeserving of my help?”

“Well, didn't you hear? I was a fucking menace to my team.” He chuckled darkly and handed the bottle over to you. “Apparently so much that they saw the need to get rid of me. Well, fuck them..” he laughed slowly. “They all got what they deserved.”

You didn't have to think twice about what he was implying, but you were wondering whether to raise the topic of why tried to kill you. You decided to not bring it up. He did say he was high then.

“And you think that this is the reason why you're not worth my help?"

“No, I-I just am not..” he grabbed the bottle from your hands. “I've done a lot of batshit crazy stuff in the past. Being honest now, not even half the crap that Vought has pinned on me, but that doesn't make it any better, does it?”

“Well, tell me one thing, Ben.” You scooted across the couch a little bit closer to him. “You told me yesterday you're a "changed man". If you had the chance, would you do it again? All that payback on Payback?”

“What are you now? My shrink?” He looked down on you, almost condescendingly, and sitting next to him made you feel so small. You couldn't push away the thoughts of asking him to have his way with you. You blamed it on the alcohol. It didn't help you relax at all, it only managed to make you horny.

“No, not that..” you said slowly, trying to get your mind out of the gutter, but with no effect. “Just trying to make up my mind on you, I guess.”

“What's the point of speculating on that then? If I say yes, would that change your current opinion on me?”

You looked up at him. “As you said yesterday, you're leaving it up to me to make my mind up on you. So, probably no, it wouldn't change it. I still think you didn't deserve what happened to you and I'd want to help you.”

You took the bottle from him to finish it off. “But you know, if you're fine with the nightmares, you can always lock your bedroom door. Message received loud and clear. Your decision, that's all.” You simply shrugged and got up from the couch.

“I'm off to bed.” You decided to end the night right there, before you did anything you'd probably come to regret in the morning. “Good night, Ben.”

“Night.” He mumbled under his breath and you heard him crush a pill with a glass, followed by a snort.

After your quick night routine, you got into your comfy shorts and top for sleep and tied your hair into a bun. Laying down in bed you rolled from side to side, unable to find a comfortable position. For over an hour you tried to fall asleep, getting more and more annoyed by the familiar ache for release keeping you from it. You had to do something for it and you hoped to God that Ben wouldn't hear you.

You reached for the drawer on your left and pulled out your good old reliable vibrator. You were damn glad that you decided to pack it up. It was nothing fancy, but in the last desperation, it got its job done well. It had been quite a while since you've used it and you were hoping it would not fail you now.

You quickly discarded your pants, threw them over the edge onto the floor. Your fingers slipped easily through the slick that had drenched your underwear. He didn't even do anything to me. How the fuck am I so wet already?

Your mind was racing when you started to slowly rub your clit. You quickly fell into a familiar rhythm with your fingers, despite it being a long time since you've last masturbated. Pleasuring yourself for a while, you felt the tension starting to build deep in your core, but the release seemed still miles away. It had been too fucking long for you and even now you knew you couldn't get yourself off with just your fingers. You needed more.

You grabbed the vibrator from the bed and slid it up against your clit before turning it on the slowest speed. Your hips bucked involuntarily when the low hum filled the room. The sweet tingling sensation against your bud quickly became almost overbearing.

You were just about to slide it in, when a knock on your door brought you out of your growing bliss.

“Sugar, if you're only relying on that plastic stick to get you off, then I'm honestly not surprised you're so pent up.” Your pussy quivered involuntarily when you heard his low rumble from the other side of the door.

You sat up in bed, trying to slow your breathing. “Leave me alone!” You couldn't bring yourself to tell him to take the toy’s place, that was still turned on in your hands, even though that's what you were imagining.

“Oh, no, sweetheart, I'm coming in.” You saw the door open.

“Ben! What the fuck? No!” You yelled at him as you tried to cover yourself in a hurry, but with no luck because before you got under the covers, Ben's large frame was already in your doorway.

To Be Continued »»» Part 2

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