#while unmedicated

[boozye]

He's silly...

[filmnoirsbian]

PHEW anyways I think at some point it became normalized to do drugs recreationally so you say you used to do molly or whatever and people are like oh yeah I've done that nbd but what they mean is that they did it maybe three or four times while out with the girls or whatever and that's fun! That's chill! But some of us did drugs every night to the point where it became impossible to divorce our personalities from that. Like who am I off of drugs? Idk but she's boring! That kind of thing. And then we get sober for whatever reason (which is GOOD it's GOOD to be sober sorry for being an afternoon special about it but it's actually such a good thing to not be so high and drunk all the time that you genuinely don't remember entire years of your life!) and suddenly we're confronted with the fact that we don't actually know this person! This sober us who is suddenly staring us down in the mirror like ok! When did I become that person? I wasn't there for that! And that's scary and unsettling and it's hard! It's hard to get to know yourself when you keep comparing yourself to everyone else's wacky fun cool girl stories about you and you have to just laugh along like yeah haha I was a riot! Except I was quite literally rotting on the inside that entire time and I don't remember most of what you're talking about! And now it feels like I can't measure up to that person you knew who was larger than life and great to be around because everything feels like a lisa frank notebook when you're high out of your mind but unfortunately you cannot continue to exist that way because you will literally die! So here I am trying not to die and feeling boring about it!

[7roaches]

very old nd very recent nm art in no particular order

[nashvillethotchicken]

Lestat being harlequin not lelio. A romantic lover and trickster vs a friendly gay loverboy oh my god I'm sick

[mammalfriend]

some of the recent icons

[darth-sonny]

being a cringe fail loserboy is a family trait

[freckliedan]

i haven’t been actively in phandom since 2016 and i came across your anniversary theory the other day while trying to catch up, and since you originally wrote it in 2018 i was wondering if there’s been any new details in the meantime! (if this is okay to ask)

i'm so sorry but i'm medicated now

[runawaymun]

Mood stabilizer has been going at full dose for awhile, so I took my stimulant today and I wanna CRY

[nedlittle]

staring at a screen 8 hours a day for work: horrible and wretched. emails are in there.

staring at a screen 8 hours a day for tumblr: just and noble. my friends are in there.

[rockbottomwithashovel]

I need you guys to know the effect you have on me.... Every like, every reblog, every ask, comment, message... You make me feel seen. Like I am someone deserving of care, of love and light. Everytime I fall you're all here to pick me back up. I can't explain what that means to me, no one's done that unconditionally or without judgment for me before.

Right now I'm kinda relapsing. I'm fighting it. But I know I'm not winning. And I feel like a fraud, a liar and alone. But even now I can tell you guys the truth and you still love me anyway. You're not disappointed. But you care. And I'm fucking crying reading this ask I got because it means so fucking much to me.

My goal in life is to make a difference in this world. To save people. Help them. It sounds crazy coming from a fucked up 20 year old high school drop out but that's what I want to do. And when I get asks saying I helped?

You are literally giving me purpose. A reason to keep going, to live. I can't thank you enough for that.

Anyway, I love you all, and I'm always here for you (even if I'm on or offline randomly, the second I come back I'll respond. I mean it, you are not alone). And thank you for being here for me <333

[wispurring-moss]

i like when Alastor gets drawn like he's never had a single thought in his head ever

just... absolutely nothing but tumbleweeds and cobwebs behind those eyes... the decadence of it all... good for him xD

[gen-is-gone]

Am I continuing to hyperfixate on a children's show from ten years ago because the alternative is fantasizing about walking into traffic?

You can't prove it.

[one-way-dream]

i got silly

[luck-of-the-drawings]

when i was in highschool one o my biggest coping mechanisms was drawing all the kids i hated getting killed and eaten and killed. and well. time is a slowly ascending spiral. you will find patterns.(i work as a blackjack dealer. gamblers are FASCINATING

[dont-offend-the-bees]

Anyone else out here haunted by the unknowns of recovery?

[ireallydohateyou2]

t shirt that says “I Survived the IRDLY2 Black Mold Era”

no, but fr,... ur onto Something...