#whisperyourlove

[theloveablesociopath]

Whisper your love Part 5

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Summary: As a hydra agent, you where the last person Bucky expected to be kind to him, but during the days of him being locked away as the winter solider, you where a Flower among the graves.

Warnings: Swearing.

Word Count: 1,854

NOTES: I honestly can’t wait till you all get to see the next few chapters. You’re about to go on a fucking roller-coaster ride.

Previously:

“why?” I ask, my voice lighter than I expected.

“why? Why what?”

“why hydra?” I replied.

------------------------------

She frowns at this, shifting her knees, in order to better place her elbows as she cards her delicate fingers through her hair. She looked back up at me and gave me the softest, most unconvincing smile she ever had.

“5 years ago, I was stationed in Rwanda , near a small village called, Mushubati. Now when I say stationed, I don’t mean military, I don’t like war, and could never bring myself to participate in it. I traveled around countries of extreme poverty, with a small organization branching out from Wakanda called “Ephilisa Izandla”, which roughly translates to “Heeling Hands”.”

She stopped to breath, looking up to see if I was still listening, when she realized my full attention was on her, she continued.

“Mushubati was in a matter of crisis, tensions where still high from the genocide, and poverty was at its peek. I was there to help, though foreigners where not exactly welcomed by the locals. I loved every second of my time there, I loved the look on people’s faces as I handed them a meal that they thought would never come. I loved the relief I brought to children and animals who were injured. But… it was short lived.”

She looked unable to continue at this point, and I was tempted to tell her to stop, tell her she didn’t have to share if she didn’t want to. But my minds desperate at this point, because I couldn’t let my heart obsess over a woman associated with the organization that kept taking and taking from me.

“Sometimes I wish I could resist the urge to help.. Wish I had the heart to push aside a task to bring aid to those in need. But I didn’t, I couldn’t, and even though it didn’t feel right, I made myself help none the less.”

She sighed, and I took the time to speak up, still not understanding her maze of a story.

“Help? Help Who?”

“There was a man, some traveler who passed by the village, I’m not sure why he was there, or why I even bothered to ignore the signs that he was so obviously following my group. But I didn’t realize how wrong it felt till I got on a plane with him, too indulged in his pleas for my assistance as a care taker, and nurse for his organization. He wanted someone determined, he said, someone who was willing to help for the good of the people, even under the harsher circumstances.”

She sighs.

“I had my fair share of bumps in the road, to know I was the perfect person to operate under these conditions, and in exchange for my help and skills he would offer me a place to stay, and the opportunity to help people whose work would be ‘a gift to mankind’… sounds cheesy right? But I was all for that, I loved the idea of helping the world, of heeling people and a roof over my head sounded pretty great.”

She locked her eyes with mine, and I could almost feel the ache in her heart.

“But I was stupid, I was naive, I walked blind into an organization of murder and chaos.”

I fought the urge to touch her, knowing nothing of how to comfort, or what exactly that would look like coming from me.

“Why didn’t you leave?” I asked softly, but I knew the answer, a part of me wanted to know if she tried, or she merely accepted her fate.

“I tried, countless times I tried, but you don’t just get out of hydra, no one ever does.” She looked down at her hands, seeming to recap on something, probably her failed attempts at escape. “So I lived on, I pledged complete and utter loyalty, I went through the programs to become an agent.”

I thought for a moment, how she was on B level ranking but I had only started to see her around a couple months ago.

“How come I hadn’t seen you before? You’re B level aren’t you?”

She gave a soft breathy laugh. “I was transferred here 5 months ago.”

I smiled softly, realizing the first day I saw her in the lab with her little group was most likely her first day, her tour.

“Where did you transfer from?”

She stood from her spot beside me on the bed, running her hands through her hair.

“Hall in Tirol in Austria, one of hydras smaller branches.” She replied.

I nodded my head, fidgeting slightly at the length I had been able to interact with her.

“why where you transferred?” I finally asked.

Her body seemed to halt for a moment, confusion played on her face as she turned her head from the wall to me.

“Wha-“before she could answer me , shouting and footsteps drew our attention to the door.

We waited and listened as what sound like a group of guards running down the hall past my door.

“I should go, you and I won’t be on very good terms with pierce if he finds out about this.”

I gave her a small smile. “As if we ever are.”

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

It felt like years, until I saw her again. The next week I was put into cryo since my work for the time bringing was halted.

When I was thawed, 3 years had passed, but it felt like moment that I had been asleep.

What dragged on the longest was the curiosity, the extreme wonder that over took me in the months after I woke up.

I didn’t see her around the facility anymore. Not in the cafeteria, or gym or even the lab.

In fact it was exactly 3 years and 5 months until I saw her again.

She waltz in training room in a shiny new uniform, one of A level access and a nurse band around the right sleeve.

But there was no smile on her face this time, not even when she talked to the now much older and scruffy looking Theo.

I sat at the back, cleaning the set of knives I had just used on a mission, so it was no wonder that she hadn’t spotted me yet.

“Everyone out!” she yelled sternly, and the multitude of lower level agents scurried away. Of course I remained, and even if she wanted me to leave she had no authority to say so.

But with the now lack of agents, her gaze drifted to my moving hands in the corner.

And there it was, that same sweet smile I missed, the one that made all of this seem just a tad bit better.

“Good morning winter.” She said.

I nodded at her, and saw her laugh lightly.

“So we’re back at phase one now?”

She sauntered over to me, and only then did I notice the change of the two years that had passed.

Her hair was longer now, cascading in (h/c) curls past her shoulders. Her once wonder lust eyes, now held that of a wise owl, but sharp and held a certain tenderness all the same.

“I thought they’d never take you out.” She smirked. “was beginning to think I just might have to make a ruckus for them to need you.”

I let out the smallest trace of a laugh, my eyes looking up at her as she rocked on her heels with her hands on her hips.

“A level?” I questioned her, gesturing to her attire.

“Hm? Oh! Yeah, yeah promoted at the end of last year.” She smiled, looking down at her new key card which was attached to her chest. “Actually it’s kind of funny, when they called me in, I kinda fell an-

“(L/n)!” we we’re interrupted by the door slamming open and a tall, lean man stormed in the room.

(y/n)’s body immediately stiffed, her spine completely straight as she stood like a soldier. Which strangely enough gave me the strongest sense of déjà vu I had ever had.

The man angrily stepped up to her, his tall form looming over her like a shadow.

“Why, is the general still here?” he questioned, the words slipping from his clenched teeth.

(y/n) looked confused at this.

“We… captured him on the extraction mission sir.”

He let out an angry grunt and brought his hand up, back handing her and sending her body to the ground.  My hands curled into tight fists.

“I know that sweetheart, I’m the one who ordered you to do so! What I want to know is why he hasn’t been transferred to Berlin’s facility like we so delectably discussed!” he screamed.

“i-I didn’t get any command, I’m not sure I would have had the authorization to do so in the first place s-sir” she stuttered, and it only made the man angrier, as he snatched the collar of her shirt and brought his hand back to slap her again.

“Sergeant Raymond.” A voice halted his actions, as well as mine, as I was ready to strangle the man. Both him and (y/n) shifted their gaze to the door.

“I assume you have good reason to be punishing my agent, but I’m going to need you to leave.” Pierce commanded from the door frame, a team of large men beside him. “Now.”

Raymond dropped (y/n), letting her back hit the ground as she slowly tried to rise to her feet again.

“miss (L/n) it’s a pleasure to see you again.” Piece greeted, his eyes shifting from her to me, his hands locked around his back.

“Sir.” She stated. “Haven’t seen you since Rwanda.”

He sighed, and smiled.

“yes, it has been a while. But don’t worry, I’ll keep this chat to a minimum.”

Pierce waltzed up to me, standing a good distance between both  (y/n) and I. his smirk began to churn the atmosphere in to an unpleasant and toxic fog.

“so.” He laughed lightly. “How long do you think it took us to figure this out.” He gestured between us.

“Two years,? One? A couple months?” He started to walk over to (y/n), keeping eye contact with her the whole time. “or maybe.” He began “it only took one, short week in a freezer.” He smirked, holding up a light brown book.

My eyes went wide, it was my journal, the one (y/n) gifted.

His eyes shifted over from hers to mine.

“Romantic really, the way you write about her.”  He smiled again, wider then before and slowly handed the book back to another agent. “I wanted her closer.” He quoted. “Well, Solider you’ll get your wish.”

Before I could question him, two large men gripped (y/n) by her arms.

“What the hell?!” she exclaimed.

“What are you going to do to her?” I asked my mouth dry with worry.

“You wanted her.” He stated. “You’ll get her.”

My brows pulled together, before one of the agents, pulled a syringe from nowhere and plunged it into her neck.

Her body hit the mattes, and within seconds, mine followed.

Permanent Tags: @soldierplum @barricadechap 

WYL Tags:@bexboo616 @obsessivegeekynerd @httpstainme @genlovesdcb

[theloveablesociopath]

Whisper your love Part 4

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Summary: As a hydra agent, you where the last person Bucky expected to be kind to him, but during the days of him being locked away as the winter solider, you where a Flower among the graves.

Warnings: Swearing.

Word Count: 2,079

Now that I knew this girl, or knew her again, I found myself seeing her almost everywhere. It was like our schedules where in sinc or something. She was in the cafeteria every morning, the training room in the afternoon, the lab on every day I had a check up, she was the only thing I really held as a constant and every night I wrote about her. How she would smile at me from across the room, or slip me a bottle of water after my trainers left me for dead after  a 5 hour workout. We didn’t really talk all that much, aside from the ‘thank you’ and hello, that seemed to come around when we saw each other.

She was something I held so close to me, a shred of comfort in a place full of so much pain and confusion. I didn’t understand it though, I don’t think I ever could, she’s a HYDRA agent with B level access and I was a weapon of mass destruction who couldn’t even remember his own name.

A part of me felt like maybe she was drawn to killers like me, maybe that’s why she’s in HYDRA in the first place. But I couldn’t see her as evil, even knowing she was so close to being on the A level, even knowing what it takes to get there, I couldn’t picture this women as anything more then some sort of angelic, magical being I had deemed her to be. Because to me that’s what she was, a beautiful, bright, wonder, among hundreds of dull and lifeless faces she seemed to be glowing with charm and kindness.

A hydra agent wouldn’t give me soft smiles and waves, wouldn’t share their meals with me and offer me water and pain killers after being dragged through the gates of hell. Hell , hydra agents don’t even want to look at me in fear that ill break their necks. But here she was, standing beside me in this gloomy, gray colored training room, watching her fellow agents throw them self’s on faded, blood stained mattes.

“He should really tie his hair back when he fights, how can he see anything through that mop on his head.” She whispered to me in a light tone, her breath huffing into a laugh afterwards.

I wasn’t used to people talking to me, and I certainly wasn’t used to laughter, so hearing both begin director towards me in the form of some light hearted joke, was almost scary. Her voice was like the tiniest shred of light through closed curtains for me, and it helped me the tiniest bit every day.

When I gave no answer, not even the light grunt I normally give, her eyes flicked up to me, and mine locked with hers, oblivious to the fact that I was now staring at her.

“You alright Winter?” she asked softly, and all I wanted to say was ‘no, not really, but you help’ but instead I went with the slightest movement of a nod, and she smiled as she looked back at the mattes.

After a few moments of silence, I gathered nearly every ounce of courage that I had and decided to start talking to her.

“Why, Winter?” I asked.

Her head snapped up to me in surprise, but a light smile soon spread across her features.

“Why the name winter?” she asked, seeming slightly confused at my two word question.

I nodded.

“Well you’re the Winter Solider right?” her eyes seemed to cause heat to rise into my face as she practically stared into my soul. “Winter is a nickname, its easier to say, and a lot less formal” she smiled as she glanced back at her colleges, now a heap of sweat and blood on the mattes. “I give all my friends nicknames”

My eyes went slightly wide at this, “friends?” I asked lowly.

“Yeah, like Theo, his real name is Theodore, but formalities aren’t really my thing.” She states.

I pause for a moment, thinking about her admission to being my friend, but im not sure if she truly meant it like that or if we were just friendly strangers.

I was about to gather more courage and ask her when the door slammed open and a rather angry looking women stormed in, her sandy blond hair bouncing.

“(y/n)!” she yelled, her tone stern and demanding.

(y/n) visibly tensed, straightening her posture and standing alert and ready.

The women, marched right up to (y/n), green eyes blazed in anger.

“do you have any idea what time it is?!” she seethed.

“well- i- no-.. I guess I just-“

“what? You what? You forgot?” the women barked.

“well- i..”

The women stepped closer to her, eyes narrowed and cold, her voice lowering as she grit her teeth. “do I need to remind you what happens when you conveniently forget about your duties?”

(Y/n)’s eyes widened, she shook her head violently, earning a smirk from the women.

“n-no miss.”

“good. Then GO.”

Before she even took so much as a breath, (Y/n) was out the door.

I was of course, completely puzzled by this, not that it was unlikely for an agent of her statues to have duties, but rather how afraid and unwilling it seemed for her to fulfill them.

Its true I didn’t know that much about the girl, and despite my better judgment I desperately wanted to. She seemed so different, so completely out of place here, and maybe it was just wishful thinking but I truly feel that she’s not hydra. Not monsters, not a killer, not even an agent. In my mind she was just this mysterious, beautiful, kind girl in my notebooks.

I read nothing about her being unkind or evil in the pages I had, so I could only assume that she had never done anything or at least that I had ever seen.

----------------------------

I didn’t see her again for what seemed like weeks, but given the fact that I was kept relatively busy, it could have been a lot longer.

I stopped being hopeful that I would see her every day, her presence that I once held as a steady, reassuring warmth was now something I just longed for deep down.

I found myself thinking of her, her kind smile, her soft gentle touch when she tends to my wounds, it helped. Even without her physical presence, she still helped me.

My mind was completely engulfed in the image of her smile, and the warmth it gave me as I sat on the uncomfortable operation table.

The obviously untrained agent digging deep into the wounds on my flesh arm with tweezers, making today a particularly bad one. Not because of the pain, or even the fact that I had wounds to begin with, but the fact that I felt the worst ache in my heart that something was wrong.

I wanted her hands gently tending to my wounds, not the unskilled, shaken hands of the agent that was at this point.

I wanted her soft eyes, and warm smile to flush away the sting of pain that that the limited assortment of tools brought about.

The pain killers she gave me were always nice, but in her own sweet, innocent way, she in her self was enough of a pain killer to me.

Where the hell was she? And why did they suddenly think replacing her with this half wit, was a good idea. It made my blood boil, and I wanted nothing more than to fling my arm against the agent and send him flying away from me. I wanted to demand her presence, but I knew better, and I knew never to show I cared for someone, at risk that they would be used against me.

After my wounds where tended to, and my arm was checked out, I was allowed to go down to the cafeteria for dinner. My body was worn out, and I was so close to just heading back to my room and skipping dinner all together, but something told me to go. And I’ll never be more glad I did.

When I arrived, I immediately noticed the lack of people, almost every table was empty, and the one that where occupied never had more than two.

And then my eyes locked on her form, sitting at the same table she did on the day I first sat with her. But something was different, her head hung low, I couldn’t even see her eyes. Her hand was slowly guiding a fork through what looked to be spaghetti, but she wasn’t eating, if anything she looked as though the thought was sickening.

I felt a slight tug at my mind, one that told me to leave her be, but another more forceful idea nudged my heart. She helped me more than anyone id ever encountered here, so I thought it only fair to return the gesture.

I made my way to her table, sitting down in front of her as she gently lifted her head.

“Winter?” she asked softly, she looked surprised, but gave a genuine smile, one that sent a warmth spreading in my chest. But it was quickly replaced with concern as I studied her.

she looked different, but it wasn’t the kind any normal person different, not a haircut, or makeup or new outfit. She looked tired, the skin bellow her eyes tinted the worst shade of purple. Her, (s/c) face looking incredibly drained of life, there was no color in her cheeks, aside from the cuts and bruises she sported. Her nose covered by the most uncomfortable looking band aid. My mind was blurred with questions, the main being, ‘who in their right mind would dare to hurt someone like this women?’

She seemed to notice my shift in mood, the way my eyebrows pulled together in worry, because she gave a bashful chuckle and shook her head.

“like the new look?” she joked, pointing to her face with another sheepish smile.

“What happened.” I asked, more demanding then I wanted, but I knew my voice was angry and tense for the right reasons.

She left out another soft, laugh, but it held no backbone, and no humor, as her eyes fought to avoid mine.

“Lying to you wouldn’t be very successful, would it?” she asked, not looking back to me. “Being out in the field so often I would assume you can pinpoint the minute someone’s eyes become dishonest.”

I gave her an almost none existent smirk, blowing air out my nose as I waited for her to continue.

“we need to go somewhere else to talk,  to many prying eyes here.”

I nodded at her, standing up and motioning for her to follow me, she complied and though I knew the risks, I lead her to my room, surprised at the lack of guards around its halls.

She sat down next to me on my dusty, hard bed, sighing heavily as she prepared to tell me why her beautiful face was bruised and bloody.

“I did go to my duties that day, but that blonde bitch isn’t whose in charge of me, so she wasn’t who got to decide if my lateness would go un punished.” She paused, and for a moment I thought she was going to get up and leave, but instead she turned her attention back to me.

“No, every decision involving me is made by Raymond, and good ole Ray only answers to Pierce. Who knows who Pierce answers to, if he answers to anyone, but he sure as hell doesn’t care enough to take care of my whereabouts in person. He sends that blonde, to fetch me, her names Alyssa, but im never allowed to address her as so, I call he ma’me or miss. She doesn’t hold much authority over me, but I know my place, and I know what she’s capable of.  Or I guess, what Rays capable of.”

I realize now that my entire attention is completely transfixed on her, I’m confused completely and utterly confused, but at the same time, I’m slightly relieved, because from what I can gather she doesn’t do the things she does willingly. It sickens me at the same time, the way she mentions punishment as if it comes as part of the job.

“why?” I ask, my voice lighter than I expected.

“why? Why what?”

“why hydra?” I replied.

(dont worry next part will be up really soon)

 TAGS:

Permanent tags:

 @soldierplum @barricadechap

Whisper your love tags: @bexboo61

@obsessivegeekynerd @ httpstainme

[theloveablesociopath]

Whisper your love Part 3

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Summary: As a hydra agent, you where the last person Bucky expected to be kind to him, but during the days of him being locked away as the winter solider, you where a Flower among the graves.

Warnings: Fluff?, Swearing.

Word Count:1,731

Waking up today felt like getting hit over the head repeatedly with a hammer, my temples shot pain through my skull, and there was this strangely familiar stringing that burrowed itself at the base of my neck. Getting out of bed and standing felt like trying to balance on one leg on a moving canoe, I was all stumbles and grunts as I finally managed to pull myself up right.

I knew a few clues that told me where to go, mostly the tiny snippets of orders that spoke through the thick fog of my mind. It was morning and by what I could gather, that meant breakfast.

When I exited my quarters, I felt the strange sensation of confusion again, I didn’t know whether to go left or right, and where it is I would go in the first place. Taking a guess I turned left and headed down a oblong hallway that was lined with a few different doors, all marked with different numbers, and only illuminated by the light flicker of the broken lights on the cycling.  When I arrived at the end of the hall way, I took a chance and turned right, seeing a single door at the end of it. Upon reaching it I heard grunts and the rough sound of a body hit the ground. Though I had enough sense to tell that this was not where I wanted to be, I still felt the urge to grasp the door handle and yank It one. Giving into this odd pull of energy, I did exactly that, only to find a young women and man, sparing relentlessly in a frenzies of kicks and punches.

“You’re getting sloppy Theo.” The young women barked, smiling at him before landing an upper cut to his jaw and sending him staggering back.

“F-Fuck..” the young man-Theo I presume-  mumbled as he cupped a hand under his chin and watched it catch the small amount of blood that trailed out of his mouth. Just as he was about to get up for another round, his eyes caught sight of me, and his face visibly drained. Seeing this, the women looked over her shoulder and upon seeing me, let a soft smile curve onto her face.

“Well good morning winter, I haven’t seen you in a few days.” She beamed, and I could do nothing but stare her down.  Who was she and why did she call me ‘winter’ not only that but what does she mean a few days? I felt like I’ve seen her before, maybe in a dream sometime but she was nothing but that, a faint thought in the back of my mind.  

As my faced mirrored that of a stone wall, her face fell.

“They wiped you again…” she commented disappointingly, and began to make her was over to me.

“I’m (y/n), nice to meet you winter.” She said softly, extending a hand out to me, which I did nothing but glance at.

She sighed, and let a faint smile play on her lips as she looked up to me. “When you get back to your room, look under your mattress.” She informed.

She gave me a half hearted smile, and waved her hand as she made her way back to the mat and with no heist, kicked the legs of Theo from under him as he wasn’t pay attention.

I stayed long enough to hear him yell “ouch! (y/n) what the fuck!” and for her to reply with “You must master the element of surprise!” that was half masked by a soft chuckle.

-----------------------------

My day felt like watching a movie, I could barley control the pictures that flashed through my mind as I ate my protein bar that morning, and I could hardly concentrate enough to endure my training session after words.

Not only had I gained most of my recollection of where I was and what I was supposed to do, but also left feeling like the young women from before had painted her name on every tiny surface of my brain.  She was a deeply seeded memory that had released a sheer mask over me, and I felt like I knew her, I felt like I wanted to know her, and that’s when her words played themselves to me again. ‘look under your mattress’.

My training session ended with my opponent moaning in pain at my feet, and my metal fist covered in small specks of blood.  A guard commanding me to retreat to my quarters, and more men helping the mess of a man up from the mat.

It felt so strange to be able to walk down the hall to my room and knowing exactly where to go but not knowing why or how I even got into this situation. I knew hardly anything about how to navigate these halls, and knew even less about the people who passed me, but I had this pull and push effect going on in my veins. I knew everything well simultaneously knowing nothing at all.

Arriving at my quarters I felt my stomach growl with hunger, and its only then that I realized I had skipped lunch, whether or not that was a common occurrence I do not know, but I did know that my body craved nutrients.

I knew that the small pull of my heart to look under my mattress was strong, but at this moment the call of food was even stronger, so with one last glance at my door, I walked past, and headed to the cafeteria.

-------------------------------

It took me even less time to find it, having looked early that morning, so I arrived in time for dinner. There were significantly less people present then the morning, and most were scattered out eating quietly by themselves.

Despite the complete lack of people, their spread out bodies made each table occupied, which made me coil in nervousness.

I always sat alone.

After I got the plane steak and potato that the cook slid to me on a metal tray, I glanced around once again and noticed only one option.

Either by sheer coincidence, or some form of metaphysical gravity, an almost bare table, with nothing but a notebook, and a young women sketching with in it, caught my eye.

She was much calmer then when I saw her before, no longer were her hands wrapped in white cotton cloth, and her attire had navigated from shorts and a tank top, to a clean and sharp hydra uniform.

My feet began to move before my mind had even given its statement, and within seconds I was towering over her, clutching my tray a little too tight in my metal palm, and giving the all to familiar look of a killer.

She stopped writing abruptly, and slowly lifted her head up to look at me, her eyes twinkling as her face split into a soft grin.

“Hi winter” she beamed, looking at my form in search of a response, but I gave none, just sat down in front of her with a soft grunt of acknowledgement.

She looked down at my tray, noticing the small proportions and the bare, flavorless look.  “Do they realize you’re a grown man?” she questioned.

I looked to my plate, and gave a very weak shrug in response before digging a fork into the baked potato. After a few moments of chewing the taste of starch and what seemed like dirt, I heard a bag rustling and then a flash of blue being shoved in my direction.

My eyes glanced up to her, seeing her soft features beam with giddiness. “Here, eat this when you’re done.” She said.

I looked at the long blue wrapped object in her hand for a moment, and then heard her chuckle after a sigh.

“its only chocolate” she informed me, and with a slight uncertainty, I took it from her hands.

It felt odd, felt like a complete wave of emotion.. she had done this before, with something else, but she had given me food before.

I looked up to her face as she began to look over her notebook again and somehow felt my eyes glued to her beauty, as she scribbled what looked to be diagrams of mechanics in its pages.

The way she brushed her hair out of her face made my heart flutter, and it felt so completely wrong to my obedient mind, yet so familiar in my chest.

Before I could dwell on the feelings too much, I ate the rest of my dinner, and quickly got up to leave. I felt my body pause for a moment as she didn’t even look up at me, and without my consent, a quick “thank you” groggily poured out of my lips.

--------------------------------------------

When I finally arrived back at my quarters, I found myself carding my fingers through my hair, as I stared down at my bed. It felt a little ridiculous, to listen to a girl I barely knew, but she had already proven herself different, and on top of that it would form no harm in listening.

Lifting up the very thin, and worn down spring mattress, I was surprised to see that she was indeed telling the truth, and I immediately picked the leather bound book up.

Sitting down on my bed, I got the bar of chocolate she had given me out of my pocket, and opened up the book.

What lain inside the pages, was scribbling lines of blue ink, all looking to be quick diary entries. The dates ran along the top, and followed a inconsistent pattern.

As I began to read, flashes of each detail blurred within my vision, and each time was like the first time it happened, well simultaneously being the millionth time iv thought about it.

She was there, in the lab, in the med bay, in the cafeteria, she was in my room, in the hall ways and training room.

Every small glimpse of her being there followed a series of smiles and waves, and each and every time my heart grew a little more.

By the end of the last entry, I felt my mind flood with feelings, I knew her, I knew who I was, and I felt that invisible pull on my heart strings.

I wanted her closer.

Tags: @bexboo616 @obsessivegeekynerd @httpstainme

[theloveablesociopath]

Whisper Your Love Part 2

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Summary: As a hydra agent, you where the last person Bucky expected to be kind to him, but during the days of him being locked away as the winter solider, you where a Flower among the graves.

Warnings: Fluff?, Swearing.

(You can pretty much assume that if a hydra agent is speaking, or Bucky is speaking to a hydra operative, that they are speaking Russian. In Bucky’s head though it’s all going to be understood anyway so I didn’t think running the risk of miss translations, where needed.)

Word Count: 1,702

The night (y/n) gave me the notebook and pencils, I started writing. I’m not sure why I didn’t think of the idea before, possibly because I had no access to these types of items, but I can truly see it being a way of holding on to information.

I started with what I knew now, what I could remember from these last couple of months, knowing at any time they could be ripped from my hands. The first things I wrote where my encounters with her, adding certain notes to myself to make sure I remembered the curve of her face, or the radiance of her eye color, just in case I never got the chance to see her again. By the time I had outlined the details of our meetings, and described every feature of her, I had taken up nearly 7 pages. I’m desperate, to force her face into my memory, so I may never forget the concept of kindness.

Two days after that night, I was again in my room- which was more or less a containment cell- writing down bits and pieces of my day in the bind pages of the notebook.

When I heard shuffling outside my door, I nearly dropped the items in my hands as I scrambled to put them beneath my mattress. My handler walked in, baring his chest as if to show his authority and folding his hands behind his back in a patient stance.  I rose from my bed, standing alert and ready as he began to speak.

“Solider, we have a mission for you.” His eyes where set in a stern gaze, watching as I nodded my head ever so slightly, looking ahead at the wall.

“Move out” He commanded, having his team of other agents walk after us as he led me out of the door and down the hall.

“Simple detain and eliminate field mission, detain one, eliminate the other.” He informed me as he walked down the hall and into the elevator. “There is no negotiating on this mission, if you fail to eliminate the second target; the mission becomes futile, am I understood?”  

I did nothing but look down at him with narrowed, emotionless eyes and nod my head.

“Good” he stated, shoving a file to my chest as he exited the elevator, and walked out to a gun rack on the side of a wall. He picked up a M40 rifle and pushed it into my hands. “Hail Hydra” he praised, looking up at me sternly then walking away back to the elevator.

I took no time to relax as I made my way down the hall and out the door to the helicopter pad.

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I threw the handcuffed man in front of me, looking up at my handler as he nodded approvingly at my work.

It wasn’t hard to understand what happened now, despite my filthy blood stained body, I was directed to the lab for a checkup on my arm.

Typically this was how it went. I would go on a mission, return with whatever it was I needed to get, or I would give a mission report when an assignment was under different circumstances. Then they would have their top scientist look at my arm, lead me back to my room, and then remove me bright and early to train.

Aside from when missions where under way, I had slight freedom to move about the facility. Granted, the only places I even could go were the cafeteria, training room and my cell, but even so it was better than nothing.

When the scientist finished with my arm, they once again dragged me to my room and locked me there for the night, always keeping me in check the hours after a mission.

Before I passed out from exhaustion, I made it a point to write down the details of the mission in my notebook. Although it was something I’d rather not remember, even when I felt completely indifferent towards it, I somehow felt that I needed to put it in.

In the morning, I was able to take a shower, before I headed down towards the cafeteria for breakfast. I finally got to wash the dried blood and dirt from my skin, and after I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Like somehow I was also washing away the dense sense of guilt that had for some reason formed over my head.

After my shower timer had turned off the heavy flow of lukewarm water, I got dressed in the black v necked t-shirt they had given me, and slipped on my black cargo pants and belt over my legs. When I had finished lacing up my combat books I started to head down to the cafeteria.

Upon my arrival I saw roughly 20 other agents either sitting down or piling food on their plates. I began to make my way to the front, watching as agents moved out of the way in cautious fearful scurries.

I had gotten the protein bar and cup of raw eggs that my dietician had given me and made my way to sit down at the far end of a table that stood in the corner of the room.  I watched as faces blurred my vision, some familiar but certainly not important, that is, until she morphed with in my view.

She was glancing around for a table as she held a tray in her hands, weary eyes and a turned down mouth crafted her beautifully sculpted face. As she turned her gaze in my direction I quickly looked down at my table, hoping she hadn’t caught my lingering gaze. Whether or not she did is still a mystery to me, but I know she definitely saw me, because she began to walk in my direction, and stand above me.

My shoulders where slightly hunched as I lifted my gaze up to her. “May I sit here?” she asked, in the most polite way she could.  I gave her a small nod, trying to pretend as if I had to think twice about wanting her presence.

“Well good morning” she greeted as she plopped herself down in the chair in front of me and gave me a warm smile.

I straightened my posture, almost certain that I looked like a grumpy old man with the way my back was arched and my hair was thrown into my face.

A part of me wanted to answer her. To utter a simple ‘good morning’ back to her and see her smile grow wider. But I just couldn’t bring myself to do so. Instead I gave a small nod and continued to shift my gaze from her to the table and back to her again.

“Is that what you eat every morning?” she asked, pointing to the protein bar in my hand, her nose crinkled in curiosity.

“Not always.” I let the words escape from my mouth, and I half expected her to turn away at my gruff, deep voice, because it sounded so much angrier then I had intended.

She seemed to take it well though, because after a few seconds of glancing from my eyes to the food in my hand, she smiled and looked down at her plate. Without saying a word, she lifted a small saucer of freshly cut fruit from her tray and slid it in front of me, holding a fork out for me to grab.

My eyes visibly crinkled in confusion, but she just nudged the fork closer to me, until I took it gently from her hands. “The most important meal of the day should be enjoyed.” She said softly, her eyes reflecting her soft smile as she looked at me, and began to eat the rest of the food on her plate

I managed to mumble out a “thank you” as I slowly pressed the fork into a square of cantaloupe and brought it to my lips. I felt my body visibly relax as I let the sweet, watery flavor of the fruit dance around my tongue, a stark contrast to the gravel tasting bar I had started with.

I hadn’t realized that my eyes had closed in bliss, until the over head com rung out a command for all agents on B level terms to report to the training room.  When I opened them again, I saw her shove one last bite in her mouth before grabbing her tray and standing.

“Goodbye Winter” she said softly, giving me that final soft and sweet smile as she began to walk towards the door, putting up her tray and plate on the way.

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The next day I was ripped from my room in the short hours of morning, or at least I assumed it was morning due to the empty halls and groggy night shift guards.  I’m not exactly sure what was happening, I was dragged out of bed so quickly that my eyes had barely had time to adjust to the bright hallway lights. Naturally they didn’t tell me what was happening, just giving subtle hints with the way my handler yelled at them to bring me different ways.

I was putting a lot of my weight on the man to my left, not fully understanding why I was so lifeless when I typically could jump out of bed alert at any hour. Instead it was as if I was half dead, and out of pure curiosity I glanced down at my flesh arm, noticing the small needle mark in the crease of my forearm. They drugged me.

When I heard them open a door in front of me, and I saw the chair in the middle of the room, I understood why. I didn’t fight it though, I used to, I can remember that much of my past to know that I typically gave some sort of struggle, but I feel content with it now. Because I can’t stop it, I know that I can’t, but now there was that slight hope that was burrowed in my chest, that no matter what I forget, I’ll find that notebook, and I’ll remember, I’ll remember her. 

(( i thought since some people requested it from the last chapter, i would tag those who voted for this to become a series I'm new at this whole tag thing so ill just tag y'all in this chapter, sorry if you didn't want to be tagged ))

@httpstainme @iyanahhhhhh @ephemeral-high @minaphobia