#who do you think is paying for that shit 😂 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ahgasegotarmy116 · 4 months

Text

Want Some Help? | Jeon Jungkook One Shot

Summary: When your boyfriend can't seem to satisfy you anymore your roommate decides to lend a helping hand. Pairing: f!reader x Jungkook (crackhead roommate energy) Word Count: 4.7k (got a little carried away but when don't I 😂) Warnings: Explicit language, smut and cheating. He spits in her mouth at the end lol and hella pet names. Aight that's all you're getting lol gotta read the rest to find out. a/n: This is the last thing I'll be posting before I go on a little hiatus. I'll make a post in a couple of days to explain but I'll let this circulate a bit before I do. I hope you enjoy it! (barely edited lol) Requested by a lovely anon 💜

The sounds in my room are obscene to say the least, more from Brian's side than mine today though. I don't know what it is but something about him isn't doing it for me anymore. Is it the fact that I have a new Adonis for a roommate? Perhaps, but Brian's need to overcompensate for it makes situations like these even more awkward than they need to be.

"You like that?" he asks, him being so close to cumming with me barely working my way up to it. "Yeah" I respond breathily, trying my best to play the part so this can hopefully be over sooner rather than later. "Fuck" he groans at the sight and sound of my little gasp when he just barely hits that spot but I know he won't be able to figure out how to do it again.

Brian isn't a selfish lover but the dynamic between us has changed ever since Jungkook moved in...

He hasn't been as focused on me which now that I think about it is pretty damn selfish. I'm just making excuses for him at this point. He's more focused on his ego and playing it up for my roommate than he is into loving his girlfriend. I don't know how much longer I can be in this relationship if he keeps acting like this.

"Shit I'm close, are you?" he asks and I nod my head furiously, thanking whoever might've been listening to my plea and seconds later he's cumming inside the condom and I do my best to copy the moan that I let out when he's actually done a good job at satisfying me and it seems to be convincing enough since he's giving me that cocky grin before he kisses me again.

"You wanna shower?" he asks and I shake my head, "You go ahead, I'll shower later. Plus, didn't you say you had work early tomorrow morning? I'll let you get cleaned up in peace so you can head out" I say and he nods his head before going to the bathroom and throwing me a towel before closing the door and turning on the shower.

Luckily he didn't try to clean me up because there's definetly not much to clean since I didn't cum.

Once I'm finished and I've made myself somewhat presentable I put on my robe and head out into the kitchen to grab myself a glass of water. "Have fun?" my roommate says from the living room couch as I pass by on my way to the kitchen. "Shit Jungkook you scared me" I say, holding my hand to my chest.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to. Have a good time tonight?" he asks again, his eyes dragging up and down my form, lingering on my chest and when I look down I see that my nipples are very visible unbeknownst to me since I hadn't cared to think about the fact that Jungkook might've come home.

I wrap my robe tighter around me and cross my arms as I head into the kitchen. "Yes I did thank you very much. Did you?" I spit out quickly, hoping to avoid talking about my sex life with him. "It was alright. I had a long week so I decided to turn in early but um..." he trails off as he watches Brian walk down the hallway and into the kitchen, giving Jungkook a stern look before coming over to talk to me.

"You alright?" he asks before placing a way too intimate kiss on my lips in front of Jungkook who I see has turned his head back to the TV and isn't bothering to pay attention to the game Brian is trying to play with him. "Yeah I'm fine. Are you heading out?" I ask, very hopeful that this visit will come to an end and thankfully luck is on my side this time.

"Yeah I gotta get going but I'll come over again soon" he says, looking over at Jungkook before giving me one last kiss and heading towards the door to put on his shoes. "Text me when you get home!" I say and he winks at me before walking out leaving me rolling my eyes once the door is shut.

I slump against the counter, glad it's finally over and when I look back over at Jungkook he's not too interested in whatever he has playing on the TV anymore, his focus solely on me.

"What?" I ask him, brows scrunched together and trying to figure out what his deal is. "Why'd you fake it?" he asks and I choke on my spit, caught off guard by the unfiltered question. "Excuse me?" I ask, scandalized that he had been listening enough to even catch onto something like that.

"You probably wanted it to be over huh?" he asks, assuming what the answer was and unfortunately that was the case but I'm not letting him have the satisfaction of being right. "I don't know what you're talking about" I say, turning on the sink to fill up my cup again but before I can even pull it out from under the tap he's taking it out of my hand.

"Hey!" I call out, trying to grab it but he holds it just out of reach. "Can't keep you satisfied anymore?" he asks raising a brow at me, a smug look on his face since it seems he can read me like a book based off of my body language alone. "He keeps me very satisfied thank you very much, not that it's any of your business" I say and reach for my cup which he thankfully relinquishes.

"I know you're lying" he say and I cock a brow at him, not knowing how he could possibly know the truth. "Oh yeah? What makes you say that?" I press, placing the cup on the counter and crossing my arms over my chest, forgetting the fact that I'm completely naked under this and giving him a better view of my cleavage.

"You're not very quiet when you do it by yourself you know. What do you use? A dildo? One of those little roses? Maybe both?" he questions leaning in closer to me and making my eyes bug out of my head. "How did yo-" "These walls are paper thin doll, so believe me when I say that I can hear every little thing you do to yourself in there. But please, don't stop. I would hate to be deprived of that pretty little voice of yours even though it is quite distracting sometimes" he says, grabbing my cup and holding it between us as a clear invitation to leave if I so desire.

I take it and rush back to my room, slamming the door behind me and I can hear him chuckle from the kitchen. Fuck he really wasn't kidding when he said these walls are thin.

I flop down onto my bed facedown and scream into my pillow, utterly mortified that he's heard me ever since he got here. I need to wear a muzzle at this rate since there's no way I'm stopping just for his sake. A girl's got needs and if Brian isn't going to fulfill them then I've gotta do it myself.

I get up off my bed after I finish my little temper tantrum and change the sheets before taking my robe off and jumping in the shower to hopefully wash off all of Brian's scent. I can't stand to think about him anymore especially after what Jungkook said about him...

After finishing up my shower and drying off my hair I reach into my drawer to get my tried and true rose bud to help me out tonight. Yes he guessed right but I'll be damned if I ever let him see it.

I lay down and try to turn it on and after I've used it for a minute or two it just shuts off. "Fuck" I groan out, forgetting the fact that I had forgotten to grab new batteries for it. The TV remote has the same size batteries right? It's worth a shot to go check since I'm pretty sure he's gone to bed already.

Walking out to the living room in my robe again I'm met with Jungkook still sitting on the couch watching the same thing he had been when I first came out here.

I try to turn back around once I've seen him but he stops me by asking me if I needed something. "I just wanted to borrow the batteries from the remote but you're still using it so no worries" I say and try to leave but he stops me again. "I'm pretty sure I bought a new pack of batteries not too long ago" he says and I sheepishly admit I used the last of them.

"Oh okay well here, I can just finish this up on my laptop" he says while taking the batteries out and putting them in my hand, giving me the source of my pleasure for tonight. "T-thanks" I stutter and close my finger around them as if they would disappear if I let them go. "Is everything okay?" he asks and I nod my head while walking down the hallway, not knowing that he's hot on my heels.

"What do you need the batteries for?" he asks as we're a few feet away from my door making me jump. "Didn't know I was behind you?" he chuckles and I glare at him, hoping that'll make him back off but it does the exact opposite, causing him to smirk and glance around my room and soon notices the rosebud that I stupidly left in the middle of my bed.

"I was right" he smirks leaving me groaning and rolling my eyes as I storm into my room, not bothering to close the door since I know he's not going to leave me alone anytime soon.

"What? You know I'm just teasing you. You're free to do as you please doll, I'm not gonna stop you. I was even nice and paused my movie so you can have your fun too" he says, leaning against my doorframe and since he's being shameless I will too, deciding to switch the batteries out and turn it on to check but unfortunately it does the same thing and dies less than thirty seconds after I turn it on.

"Shit" I curse under my breath and he stifles his laughter by covering his mouth. "Yeah yeah laugh it up. You're just lucky all you need is your right hand to get off. Can you just leave me alone?" I ask, laying back down on my bed, exacerbated and ready to call it a night since the odds have flipped again. My good luck for the night being Brian's quick departure.

I don't pay attention to how high my robe has ridden and it seems as though one of my legs has slipped through the gap giving him a full view of my upper thigh and hip, one wrong move leaving me exposed to him.

He gulps but I don't bother to notice and only do when he clears his throat. "What do you want?" I say, throwing my arm over my face trying to hide the shame that all of this has caused me but fail miserably. "Want some help?" he asks and I sit up right away at his words, "What?" I ask, my reaction as dramatic as if he had grown two heads.

"Do you want some help? I can get you off real quick if you'd like? It'll be like one roomie helping the other" he offers as causally as if he had asked to borrow five bucks. "You're joking, right?" I scoff but it seems as he very well is not as he take a step into my room and he watches for signs for protest but I give him none.

"Not really no. I'm simply offering to help a friend in need. That's what we are right? Friends?" he questions as he takes a step closer.

He calls out my name when I've stayed silent for a while, not being able to take my eyes off him even if I tried. As long as he stays in this room he's got my attention. "R-right, friends" I respond and he takes a seat on my bed, a respectful distance away but it feels as if he was already on top of me.

"But Brian-" "Doesn't need to know" he says, cutting me off and making it harder and harder for me to say no. He scoots closer to me and takes the rosebud out of my hands, unbothered by what it's used for and simply places it on the nightstand next to me. "It's your move" he says, leaning closer to me, his breath fanning my face and I look at his eyes, mine going back and forth before his look down at my lips.

"Tell me to stop" he says, making things easier for me but when he's mere millimeters away I lean in.

It's soft and sweet at first, our lips connecting and breaking a few times, still giving me an opening to pull away and say stop but after a few more kisses like that he deepens the kiss. While keeping our lips locked for longer he angles his head a bit more, his tongue now in my mouth and soon he beckons me to do the same and I do which gives him even more of a green light.

He places his hand on my cheek and angles me just right before he switches up and presses down on my shoulder a little and leans in closer as a silent plea for me to lay down.

I crawl back on the bed instead and he follow as I lay down on the pillows with him hovering over me. "Fuck been thinking about this view for a long time" he admits and before I can say anything in response his lips are already on mine again.

"Can I take this off?" he asks, toying with the tie that is seconds from coming undone of it's own accord. "Yeah" I say, adrenaline pumping through my veins at the thought of doing this, of cheating with my roommate who is someone I won't be able to run away from after this.

He pulls the belt and in one smooth motion it's undone.

The way he looks at me as he takes both sides of the robe off of my body is a sight that could make me cum untouched if given the chance. Watching his eyes darken up as they roam all over my body until he's tracing them back up to mine where it's as if a whole new man is hovering over me, one that looks so insatiable and ready to break me at any moment.

"Fuck you're so pretty" he say, leaning back down to kiss me but soon trails his lips down my neck and to the valley between my breast. He settles on kissing one of them and slowly brings his lips closer to my nipple where he looks up at me for permission which I give right away. He smirks and puts his thumb and pointer fingers into his mouth making them wet. He places them on the opposite one twisting and toying with it before he places his mouth on the one in front of him.

Once his lips make contact my fingers immediately lace through his hair, needing to ground myself with something and he hums around in in approval when I tug on it a bit.

"You sensitive here doll?" he asks when he lets go of it, the cool air causing a chill when it hits my damp skin, him having made a mess of it from his clear desire to do this. I let out a whimper in response and he nips at it before switching to my other breast to give it the same time and attention he gave the first.

My hips start to buck up after a couple more seconds of him switching between my breasts and lips when he hears those pretty voices he had talked about before, wanting to taste them on his tongue this time.

"Someone's eager" he says against my lips but I turn my face to the side leaving him kissing the column of my neck until I'm squirming about leaving him smiling against my skin.

"Does my doll want more?" he asks and I whimper in response, not being able to bring myself to utter words of confirmation when I have a man like him already causing me so much pleasure, but it's not enough.

I need more.

"Jungkook please" I breathe out, done with this teasing and so worked up already from not gaining release earlier. "Please what?" he asks trailing his lips back up to mine and kissing them one last time before pulling back and waiting for my answer. "Please help me cum" I plead, wanting what he had promised me earlier.

He chuckles dryly and places a kiss on the corner or my mouth before responding. "Here I am taking my time with you but you still only want one thing. Don't you like it when I play with you like this?" he asks, trailing middle finger down my torso until he's come in contact with my clit, sliding further down past it and checking to see what my true physical reactions have been to his ministrations.

"Seems like you do" he says, circling around my entrance with that same finger when he feels how wet I am. "This all for me?" he asks and close my eyes once he's dipped one of his fingers in while using his thumb to draw circles around my clit but once my breathing picks up a bit everything stops.

"What?" I pant, confused as to why he would stop. "I asked you a question. Is this all for me y/n?" he rasps, looking down at where his fingers had once been and cursing when he notices how wet they are. "Y-yes, all for you" I choke out and he leans in as if he was going to kiss me but stops before I can even brush my lips against his.

"Can you say my name princess?" he whispers, posed as a question but we both know the only way this continues is if I comply. "Jungkook" I whisper out, his name now tasting different on my tongue. It's almost if I have to put more effort into pronouncing each letter, my throat suddenly running dry.

"Louder doll. It's the least you can do to help me forget how you've moaned his name in here time and time again. Probably another sad excuse of an act to fake your high" he says, going back to playing with my center, his finger going in and out at a faster rate now before easing his way into putting in a second one.

"Fuck Jungkook" I groan, this time a little louder than before that grants me a kiss on my neck, his motives to stay away from my lips being to hear all of my reactions to what he's doing to me. Wanting to discover new sounds and reactions that sound more genuine and are ones that I can't even hope to hold back with the pleasure he's giving me.

"That's it, keep going. Want your voice to be the thing I remember most about this, hear it over and over again, ingrained in my memory. That way when I forget how you taste it'll be something that I'll still be able to come back to. Hearing how I make you feel, not yourself and definetly not your sorry excuse of a boyfriend, me. Let me hear how I make you feel" he rasps in my ear making me shiver and arch my back off the mattress.

"Jungkook please, please" I beg, my ego gone, the only thoughts in my head being him and how incredible it'll feel once he's made me cum. "Just like that doll, scream my name if you need to, I don't mind" his calm cool and collected tone of voice driving me mad. How can he be whispering these things in my ear and taunting me like this while I'm a complete mess under him, barely being able to breathe let alone think straight.

I pulse around his fingers and he can tell that I'm close when I let out a moan after he hits a certain spot, hitting it over and over again, knowing that that's going to be the thing that'll make me come undone.

He leans back and looks down at me, his flushed cheeks and swollen lips make me insane, his calm and cool façade in my mind broken when I see the way he's watching me. Taking in every gasp, every moan, every whimper of his name and it makes him want to try even harder to get me to that high, needing to see what I look like when I cum.

"Just like that doll, you're doing so well, sound so pretty" he murmurs and with a few more words of encouragement I'm coming undone. When I try to look away he grabs my chin and makes me keep eye contact, making everything seem even more intense.

Once the rising and falling of my chest has slowed down and his playful fingers inside me gain him whines of overstimulation he finally takes them out.

I expect him to get up and wash his hands but instead places them in his mouth, moaning once my taste hits his tongue leaving me swallowing dryly, needing that glass of water now.

"Open your mouth" he says after he takes his fingers out and I comply curiously, doing as he asks and the next moment I feel him spitting in my mouth before smashing his lips on mine one last time.

After kissing me senseless and exhaustion flooding my system my kisses become sloppy and he laughs against my lips before finally pulling back. "Where are you going?" I ask and he laughs again at my groggy state. “I'm going to go get a towel to clean you up" he says and I sit up quickly, my mind slowly clearing up.

"Wait, what about you?" I ask, taking note of the tent in his pants but he simply chuckles and brings back a warm towel just like he said.

I had expected the same treatment Brian gave me today but when I try to reach for it he pulls back. "No you lay down, you're still out of it" he says, trying to be serious but also satisfied that he only had to use his fingers put me in this state.

After he finishes cleaning me up he gets up and throws the towel in the laundry basket and comes back to sit on the bed next to me, cupping my face and studying my features. "You okay?" he asks, clearly sensing regret already.

"Yeah I'm fine. I just never thought I would do something like this" I admit and he mouths a quiet 'Oh' and takes his hand off me but I grab it before he can get too far. "I'm sorry I'm just confused and clearly not thinking straight" I say, trying to backtrack knowing that I've hurt him by saying that.

"Thank you for doing this for me" I say timidly and he laughs. "What?" I ask, clearly not understanding what about this situation is funny.

"I'm sorry" he says, his laughing soon dying down and I wait in silence until he's finally composed himself. "I'm sorry it's just that it’s not everyday that your hot roommate thanks you for finger fucking them" he chuckles and my cheeks heat up, thoroughly embarrassed now that he's put it like that.

I reach behind me and grab a pillow and throw it at his face which makes him laugh even more. "Jungkook stop this isn't funny" I whine and he stops a couple minutes later. "Alright alright I'm sorry, you were just getting way too serious about it" he explains and wipes away a fake tear.

"This is serious! I just cheated on my boyfriend with you" I exclaim and he shakes his head, placing the pillow I threw at him out of my reach and sighs before responding. "You and I both know that you've been ready to end that relationship for a while now" he says and I open my mouth but the words die in my throat.

"That's what I thought" he says and we sit there in silence for a moment while I pull the sheet over me. "Just break up with him already, I can clearly see that you're miserable" he points out and I hate that he's right.

"Why do you care? Should I break up with him so I can mess around with you?" I ask and he shrugs his shoulders. "We can do that if you want to, but from a friend's point of view I think your life is so much better without him" he says and I sigh, knowing again that he's right, telling me the things that I've thought about over and over again but just never did anything about.

"I'll talk to him" I say and he nods his head. "Good because with the number I did on your neck he's definetly gonna know that something went down" he laughs and my eyes go wide, forgetting to tell him to not leave any marks but I know I'm fucked.

"Here" he says, grabbing the hand mirror I have on my dresser and I know from one glance that hoodies and turtlenecks will be my new signature look until this all clears up.

"Jungkook" I growl and he giggles, never taking my scolding tone seriously. "What? Don't act like you didn't like it" he chuckles and I sit up, grabbing that pillow and throwing it at him again. "I hate you" I huff but he laughs again before placing a knee on my bed and making it dip under his weight.

My breath hitches as he inches closer and I can't do anything but lay down, slowly trying to run away from his lips in my mind but falling back into that same position we had been in for who knows how long.

Once I'm flat on my back and he's hovering over me again I swallow as best as I can, making him let out a dry chuckle. "Wanna run that one by me again doll?" he asks, cocking a brow at me and I press my thighs together, hating myself for doing it but needing some sort of something to keep me sane but it's of no use.

He leans in closer and I hold my breath, not knowing what he's doing or where this is going but when I close my eyes I’m granted with that same chuckle again.

"Goodnight princess" he says against my lips, his weight gone off my bed seconds later leaving me sitting up in process. "Wha-" "My pretty doll needs to figure out who she wants to play with if she wants more" he taunts and I cross my arms and pout a little, hoping that'll get him to come back.

"Aw don't be like that. After all the work I put in to help you feel good. I thought you would've been more grateful, not greedy" he taunts and I roll my eye before uttering a quiet 'Goodnight'. "Thanks for giving me material to help me fix this" he says, looking down at the very clear outline of his hard on and I swallow again, intimidated from finally being able to see his full size.

"I promise, if you make up your mind...I'll make it fit" he teases and winks at me granting him a scowl in response. He grabs the door handle at the same time I grab the pillow and throw it which he blocks by closing the door. "Goodnight doll" he says one last time and shuts it behind him.

I spend the rest of my night willing myself to sleep and when I finally start to doze off I start hearing Jungkook's soft moans and grunts leaving me wide awake again. Now I really know he wasn't lying...

Taglist: @jkslipppiercing @trina864 @kaitieskidmore97 @goddesofimortality @coolbluedude @coralmusicblaze @whoa-jo @00frenchfries00 @pastelpinkjoon @joonwater @hehurst23 @ye0nvibezzn @olimpiiaa @hrtsj1m @bangtans-momma Rest of the tags continued in the reblogs 💜

Join my Taglist!

Feel free to fill out the form or just comment on any of my fics to be added :)

#jungkook fanfic #jungkook #fanfic #fanfiction #kpop #jeon jungkook #bts jungkook #bts #kpop fanfic #jungkook smut #jungkook x reader #jungkook x original character #jungkook x y/n #jungkook x you #jungkook x oc #jungkook and you #jungkook and reader #roommates

1K notes · View notes

eatingaburrito · 7 months

Text

SNOOZE — oscar piastri

summary. in which, everyone finally meets oscar’s new girlfriend—who happens to be a ballerina. (part three)

genre. smau

previous ↺ next

you — 2min ago

the queen has arriveeeeeed

come get your queen pls

oscar baby — 1min ago

😂😂

Finally you’re here

Your plane took his sweet time

I was ready to join you in the sky bro

you — 0.59s ago

LMAOO WHAT

stop being obsessed with me 🙄

im collecting the luggage !!!!!!!!!

oscar baby — 0.53s ago

Be careful pls

I hate the fact that I couldn’t come pick you up at airport

Lando and I tried to convince them but we kind of failed

you — 0.45s ago

dw the other man of my life is coming to pick me up

oscar baby — 0.36s ago

I’m the only man of your life

Stop tripping

you — 0.32s ago

you’re spending too much time w lando

you start speaking like him

give me my sweet oscar back ☹️☹️☹️☹️

oscar baby — 0.28s ago

I’m still sweet my love

I got you a surprise

you — 0.25s ago

REALLY ????????????????

i think i’m in love w you

oscar baby — 0.21s ago

I think too

You’re good ?

you — 0.19s ago

uuuuh ill be good if random people weren’t trying to get pictures of me

for what ????

WAIT BRUH

SOME RANDOM GIRL IS NOT EVEN HIDING HERSELF SHES LITERALLY TAKING PICTURES OF MY BIG ASS FACE ????????????

ok i literally ran away

oscar baby — 0.15s ago

Wtf ? What are they doing ?

This is starting to get on my nerves

Why did I even asked the staff for permission, I should’ve picked you up that’s all

you — 0.12s ago

no no no

im good baby don’t worry about me

people are weird everyday !!!!!

oscar baby — 0.9s ago

That’s not helping but okay baby

Please just get to [Your best friend’s name]’s car safely

you — 0.7s ago

dw im already outside the airport

wait

do you think there is a celebrity or something that is coming out the airport ????

bc there’s literally tons of paparazzi out there

um wait a damn second

WHY R THEY SCREAMING MY NAME WTF IM NOT SELENA GOMEZ

oscar baby — 0.6s ago

Oh shit

liked by lilymhe, danielricciardo and many others…

yourusername (if we ignore the fact that my big ass face is trending on twitter) im happy to be home 🤍

view all the comments

oscarpiastri And by home, she means me

yourusername obviously 🙄

landonorris can’t even breath next to oscar she’s hugging him like a koala

yourusername you see him everyday bro don’t get on my nerves

landonorris you scare me so yes

user THE PAPARAZZI PICS PLS ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️

user you literally flipped them off 😂😂😂

yourusername they were starting to get on my nerves bruh

user queen

user omg finally the return of yourname and oscar’s pictures 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

danielricciardo 😂😂

yourusername stop laughing

danielricciardo Ok Lord Farquaad

yourusername if we don’t fight at the next race i don’t understand

user OMG YOURNAME IS COMING TO THE NEXT RACE

landonorris LMAO I JUST SAW THE LADY’S VIDEO ON TWITTER

yourusername she literally zoomed on my pimples wtf ????????????????

lilymhe i wanna become bestie w you

yourbestfriend you’re not stealing my place ❗️❗️

lilymhe please ☹️

yourbestfriend how much would you pay

lilymhe can i pay you w food ?

yourbestfriend you BETTER pay me w food

user can we just stop and talk about the beauty of this woman

user like why are you being so gorgeous and for what reasons

liked by oscarpiastri

mclaren We missed your health walks in the paddock ! 😂🧡

yourusername i missed you too admin

oscarpiastri and yourusername posted new stories !

#f1 x reader #oscar piastri fluff #oscar piastri x reader #oscar piastri smau #oscar piastri x you #oscar piastri imagine #oscar piastri #fluff #f1 smau #f1 fluff #f1 imagine #f1 fic #f1 fanfic #lando norris #daniel ricciardo #charles leclerc

777 notes · View notes

krirebr · 1 month

Text

I'm Feeling Like I Never Should

Pairing: Ransom Drysdale x female reader

Word Count: ~1.3k

Summary: It's bad enough you've been forced to be at this charity gala, but now you have to deal with your ex, Ransom.

Warnings: Explicit language, anxiety, insults, bad parents All of my work is 18+ - Minors DNI

Dividers by @saradika-graphics

Masterlist

A/N: This is for @stargazingfangirl18 Siri's Birthday Bonenanza!!! The prompts I used were seeking comfort (or sexy times) from an ex and “Goddamnit, will you just fucking let me do this for you?” which both screamed Ransom to me. 😂 Thank you for hosting such a fun event, Siri!! I hope you had a great birthday!

Thanks as always to @paperweight91 who has an endless supply of patience for talking through ideas with me and helping me whenever I'm stuck.

Any comment, reblog, or ask to let me know what you think will be greatly appreciated. As always, thank you so much for reading! 💜

The noise from the party floated down the secluded back hallway, muted but still audible. You took a deep breath, leaning against the wall. You really hated these things. Too many people. Too much smugness. You didn’t understand why you couldn’t all just donate to charities in private. That’s what the internet was for. But no, you had to watch each other do it to prove how good you all were while eating canapes and drinking too much in designer gowns. You really hated these things.

And your parents knew that. Your mom, especially, knew exactly what rooms like this, full of distant acquaintances and strangers, did to you. Knew how hard forced mingling was for you. Knew the way it made your chest ache. And still, she’d insisted. And then she’d–

You wiped the stray tears from your face. It was pointless to get upset over things she’d always done, over a person who’d never change. You should know better by now.

The door at the far end of the hall opened and you reflexively looked over at the noise to find Ransom Drysdale standing in the doorway in a tux. Shit. Shit. He, of course, had seen you too and now he was striding over.

“Not fucking now, Ransom,” you whined, but of course he didn’t listen. He’d never fucking listened. Not when you were kids and knew him in passing. Not for the entire time you’d dated as adults. Why would he start now?

“Wow,” he said, gesturing to you with a crostini in his hand. “There’s a party going on out there and you’re playing wallflower in here? Color me shocked.”

“Yeah?” you said. “And what are you doing in here? Trying to find a caterer to pay to blow you?” No one could get your back up like him. He’d always brought the vile out in you.

He gave you a mean little smirk. “You rather I slipped you a fifty instead? Your mouth always was one of the best things about you.”

You felt your skin start to heat in embarrassment (and something else you had no interest in naming) as you growled, “Fuck off, Ransom. I’m sure this building has other hallways for you to lurk in. Please just leave this one to me.”

You looked down, waiting for him to leave, but he didn’t move. Instead, you felt his intense stare on you. When you finally looked back up, his gaze was softer than you expected. “Is it your mom again?” he asked.

You pushed yourself back into the wall, for lack of anywhere to hide. It was easy to forget when he was such an asshole, when all you did was trade barbs, how much he’d seen, how well he knew you. All you could do was shrug, with a quiet, “You know how she is.”

He hummed thoughtfully. “Still wants a mini-me instead of an actual human daughter?”

You sighed. It was too much, too real, to have him here like this. You almost preferred it when he was insulting you. “I really just want to be alone right now, Ran. Please.”

“No, you don’t,” he said, shaking his head. His voice was so sure, firm.

“Excuse me?” you bit out, the acid coming back.

“If I leave you alone, you’re just going to stand back here and spiral until you’ve made yourself completely fucking miserable. To the point where it’ll take you days to come out of it. That is not what you actually want.”

His certainty lit a fire inside of you. “I know,” you growled out, “that you think you know everything, but you aren’t actually the expert on me, Ransom.”

“Aren’t I?” he asked, with a hint of that smirk returning. It made you want to punch him in his beautiful face.

“Just leave me the fuck alone.”

“Goddamnit, will you just fucking let me do this for you? I know it’s been a while, but I know you. Better than any of those assholes out there.” He threw an emphatic arm back towards the party. “Including your fucking parents. You can talk to me.”

“And say what, Ran? That she’s still dragging me to these things even though she knows what they do to me? That she’s decided that there’s not much to brag about in a single daughter to her society friends, so these fucking events have become matchmaking opportunities too? That she will never tire of reminding me just how much I’m not the person she wants me to be? It’s just the same old bullshit. It’s not your problem anymore. It barely was even when we were together.” You sagged back against the wall, all of your energy leeched out of you.

Ransom was quiet for a very long moment. You hoped that meant he might leave, finally seeing what a lost cause this all was. Instead, when he finally spoke, he said, “She always really hated me.”

“Yeah, Ran,” you sighed. “She hates a lot of people.”

“No,” he said, with a smile that still had a touch of meanness to it, but, as always, you could somehow tell that none of that meanness was directed at you, “what I’m trying to say is I bet it would fucking piss her off if you walked back into that party with me on your arm. Spent the whole night with me. Left with me, even. I bet she’d be so angry. I bet it’d ruin her whole fucking week.”

You burst into laughter. You couldn’t help it. No one could do petty like Ransom. You’d forgotten how fun that could be. “Yeah? That’s why you want to hang out with me? To piss off my mom?”

“No, that’s why you want to hang out with me. I want to hang out with you because you’re always the hottest person at these things.” And then he gave you the most shameless once-over you’d ever received.

“Oh my god,” you chuckled with an overly fond eye-roll, despite yourself. He was always just so Ransom. The things about him that pissed you off and drew you to him in equal measure never changed. You were sure they never would. “What about you? I’m sure you have lots of people to piss off. How are Richard and Linda?”

He gave you a bright smile. “Oh, just the absolute fucking worst. As ever.”

You laughed again. “Glad to hear we’re still in the same boat, at least.” You pushed yourself off the wall and took a step closer to him, feeling like you might finally be ready to venture back into the party. “What were you doing back here, anyway? Do you need to finish finding whatever it is you were looking for?”

Ransom glanced away from you for just a moment and then shrugged. “Nah. I was bored out of my mind out there and then saw your mom swanning around, in rare form even for her. Figured I’d probably find you back here.”

You touched his arm without thinking, warmth spreading through your chest. “Wait, you were looking for me?”

He shrugged again. “I know how much you hate these things. Thought you might need checking up on.”

All you could do was stare at him, all the best feelings from your time together rushing back over you. “You’re very surprising, Ransom,” you said, quietly.

He shook his head with a rueful grin. “No,” he said, “definitely not that. I’m just the same old asshole.” He offered you his arm. “Come on, let’s see if we can make that vein in your mom’s forehead throb.”

Tag list is open

@stargazingfangirl18 @thezombieprostitute @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory @bval-1 @km-ffluv @texmexdarling @ladyvenera @roxyfan14-blog @darkserenity24 @midnightramyeoncravings @whiskeytangofoxtrot555 @ronearoundblindly

#happy birthday siri 2024 #siri's birthday bonenanza 2024 #ransom drysdale x reader #ransom drysdale #ransom drysdale x female reader #ransom drysdale x you #knives out #reader insert #chris evans fanfiction #i'm feeling like i never should #kris wrote something

210 notes · View notes

faeriekit · 1 year

Note

So, in the spirit of causing problems on purpose, I wanted to share a new idea with you that I just had:

Young/“warm” ghosts have very large cores. As they get more settled into their Obsession, their core condenses. The smaller the core, the older the ghost, etc.

One day, Danny gets really hurt, and he runs off to heal. Pick your favorite headache victim to find him, and boom! Suddenly they have a goddamn ostrich egg to watch over!

Got that? Great!

Now imagine all of Danny’s frenemies turning the world upside down, trying to find a fucking marble.

This reminds me of the flour bag episode ouhdsfohsdoih poor Valerie 😂

Just—

Sam and Tuck find the baby sling they used for their flour bag assignment and reluctantly put themselves on BabyWatch, babysitting a giant pearlescent-blue glass blob of a bestie, who weighs a ton when he's asleep by the way. They look absolutely bizarre doing it ("Hasn't that assignment been over? ...Since, like, Freshman year?") but they're reallyreallyreally hoping no one's paying too much attention at, uh, how cold the room gets, his weird spherical shape, the emf readings from the classroom ghost sensors...

Meanwhile. Val, who poofed him, is losing her shit. Where the fuck is he?!?!! Research says he should be like the size of her thumbnail but he can't be that small that she can't find him?? Hello?? Did she— Did she lose him in the grass??? Cut to a montage of Red Huntress furiously tidying up the grassy knoll she had just been fighting Phantom in because he has to be somewhere!! Right?!

Meanwhile:

Vlad hears that Valerie has his little Badger poofed, and is old enough to have no idea how large a warm newdead ghost would be— Wait, he should be able to find the boy first and keep him captive! Obviously now is the time to get a jump on the boy— Why can't he find Phantom, this shouldn't be so hard—

And the vultures hear it from Vlad, and hey! If they find that little marble, free lunch! Now all they have to do is find the thing...why can't they find the little sucker...

And Skulker hears it from the vultures. It would be so easy to skin the half-ghost. As soon as he finds it.

...Where is it.

Skulker leaks the news to Ember who gossips with Kitty who reports to Johnny, and suddenly there's a hunt for a baby-blue glass bead both in the Infinite Realms and in the human world (because not everyone got all of the memo, exactly.) And someone should have found it by now. Someone ought to have found Phantom by now.

Is he...is he actually gone?

Meanwhile, Sam and Tucker are incorporating the equivalent of Danny's comatose body into their art project so that they can have him on them at all times at school without anyone thinking of it. Or. Well. Have anyone thinking too much of it. He makes a very pretty centerpiece. They might even get a B on it! High five!

👻*time skip* 👻

Danny wakes up two weeks later dazed, confused, nauseous, and covered in hot glue and craft stickers.

#I lOVE problems thank you #danny phantom #faer fic #ghost fanlore

2K notes · View notes

whyse7vn · 6 months

Text

CARDBOARD BOX -

[ ot7 x reader ]

BTW ☠️😂

8 participants - 8 online

———————————

hobi: thinking about when we all lived together and jimin would make jungkook tap dance for food

jk: good times :D

namjoon: but jungkook cant tap dance?

jimin: exactly

namjoon: so you starved jungkook?

jk: no i tapped??

jin: horribly

jk: :(

tae: i liked it

jk: honestly 🥺?

tae: honestly

jk: :D

hobi: why is joon acting like he wasn’t there to witness it???

namjoon: sorry

i just tend to block out the traumatic memories i have with you guys

which is most of them

jin: jungkook was the one dancing for food not you

namjoon: being a witness to that was traumatic

yoongi: it was funny

jk: thank u

yoongi: no

namjoon: moving on

y/n: remember when jungkook would like disappear for 4 hours everyday and come back to the dorms at like 5 am

hobi: OMG YES

jimin: the era where he hated us 😪

yoongi: bring it back

jk: i didn’t hate you guys ☹️

tae: he was just getting his dick wet don’t worry about it

namjoon: he was barley 16?

tae: pussy slayer since 05 😝

namjoon: 05??

yoongi: he was 7 in 05

jin: victim since 05

jimin: jin was like 27 in 05

jin: ??unprovoked

and not fucking true

jimin: as long as you’re alive i’m provoked

y/n: 27 in 05 is crazy

jimin: i’m saying like 😭

hurry up and die maybe?

hobi: bros 31 ☠️

namjoon: ok stop guys

jin: fucking hate all of you

jk: omg it’s raining outside i’m so sad :((

tae: my fault stepped outside and mother nature just couldn’t contain herself

she freaky like that

hobi: paying for ur assassination

jk: what does that even mean

tae: the sky squirting for me bro

jk: oh

that’s nice didn’t know that was possible !!

can you make her stop tho

tae: tell namjoon to step outside and she’ll stop

namjoon: ???

tae: it will be hot and dry as shit if joon steps out ong

jk: namjoon pls step outside

namjoon: kook you need to stop taking tae’s word for things

jk: what

i take no words

i have my own

namjoon: nvm

y/n: life would be so much fun if one of you was a crack addict

jin: ????

yoongi: freak

hobi: real

jimin: namjoon is right here like….

namjoon: leave me ALONE

jk: i’ll be a crack addict for you

tae: i’ll be a better addict

jk: NO YOU WONT

tae: YES I WILL

y/n: shut up

jk: sorry ☺️💕💖

tae: i could so break jungkook’s legs

jk: ☹️

how will i tap?

hobi: you don’t need to tap anymore kook

ur free from that life

y/n: tap by taeyong

jimin: he may be free from tapping in this life but is the tapping life free from him?

yoongi: what

jimin: mentally jungkook is still my little tapping slut

jk: aw man ://

namjoon: did you need to call him a slut??

can we just be nice

jimin: yes i needed to call him a slut

he’s a slut

tae: he was sixteen tapping for you

ur calling a sixteen year old a slut

guys i think jimin is really weird for that actually

jk: me 2

jimin: so?????

you literally said he was fucking at 16 you indirectly called him a slut too

jk: right !!!!

tae: UMM NO???

i called him a pussy slayer actually

and that could mean anything

jk: like what?

tae: shut up jungkook

jk: ok

i’m sorry

it’s still raining

i’m upset

jin: anyways i think yoongi could be nicer

yoongi: ?????

y/n: yoongi’s great

jin: TO YOU

yoongi is actually really really mean and we need to talk about it

jk: i also think yoongi’s great !!

when i was sad about getting old and sick he told me i probably won’t get cancer and most likely die from getting stabbed at 30 on the 12th of december 3pm

namjoon: oh

y/n: yoongi….

yoongi: no cancer !!

jk: NO CANCER ^0^ !!!!!!

tae: yoongi being cold and mysterious will only get you so far in life

jk: yoongi don’t be cold

🔥🔥🔥

here

y/n: jungkook ur so silly

where are you

i want to bite you

jk: 😳

OMW HOME I PROMISE

WON’T BE LONG I SWEAR

jimin: take me back to the days where you had to buy bitches 46 plots of land and a horse to get pussy

i can’t do this being dumb ass hell shit

hobi: maybe ur just ugly idk??

jimin: ????

yo wtf

hobi????????????

hobi: who said that not me whatttt?

jin: that’s why taemin has jimin blocked

jimin: HE DOES NOT HAVE ME BLOCKED

yoongi: woah ok?

jimin: just saying

anyways

jin: ur ugly 😂

jk: beauty is subjective

yoongi: do you even know what that means?

jk: yes ofc ??

maybe…

no 😔

tae: subjective sex

namjoon: stop

tae: SUBJECT SEX

i class i would love to participate in

y/n: is this you telling us you don’t know how to have sex???

tae: NO

this is me telling you i love sex and partake in it often

hobi: stds

jk: i’m confused

why do you want to take a class on it then ???

y/n: right

you wanting to take a sex class implies you know little on the subject of sex actually

tae: SHUT THE HELL UP

jimin: nothing about my beauty is subjective btw

it’s fact

jin: that ur ugly

yoongi: lol

jimin: namjoon tell them i’m not ugly

namjoon: guys he’s not ugly

jin: he’s really ugly

y/n: namjoon tell tae to stop shouting

namjoon: taehyung stop shouting

tae: NO

NAMJOON TELL KOOK AND Y/N I KNOW HOW TO FUCK

namjoon: kook y/n taehyung knows how to fuck

hobi: namjoon i wont lie to you but u lowkey a bitch

jin: right

namjoon: thank you for that hobi and jin i also love you very much

jk: ohmygod joon loosing his mind again

that is NOT what they said

joon come back to us

fight this namjoon fight it

hobi: fighting by bss

yoongi: who fighting?

jimin: joon and his crippling coke addiction

coke winning

namjoon: can we not

tae: i’ll laugh when you overdose

y/n: exo core

namjoon: i just helped you what is ur issue??

jin: do you notice how yoongi appeared again when the word fighting was said????

we NEED to have this man locked up i’m telling you

yoongi: i’ll have you sectioned

jin: WHAT THE FUCK?????

NAMJOON TELL HIM TO TAKE THAT BACK

namjoon: yoongi take that back

please

yoongi: i take it back

jin: good

yoongi: not

jk: yikes jin he got you

yoongi ur really cool

yoongi: shut up

jk: sorry 😆

y/n: stop being mean

yoongi: cant help it :3

tae: who wants to see me split a watermelon with one hand

jk: ME ME

OHMYGOD ME I DO I DO

I WANT TO SEE

PLEASE SHOW ME PLEASE BEOFRE I PASSED OUT PLEASE

PICK ME TAE I WANT TO SEE ME MEMEMEMEMEMEMMEMEME

hobi: tae how is ur financial situation these days

tae: kill yourself

hobi: ok wtf???

i was just asking

tae: jungkook im sorry but no broken watermelon today blame hoseok

jk: hobi what the hell man i was really looking forward to the broken watermelon

y/n: i heard tae filed for bankruptcy

tae: NOT TRUE

jimin: i heard he lives in a cardboard box

tae: SHUT UP I DONT

jk: tae omg……… 😧

is this true

tae: NO OBVIOUSLY NOT

YOU WERE AT MY HOUSE YESTERDAY

AND I ORDERED US FOOD

jk: pls dont shout at me

i’m trying to remember if your house was a cardboard box or not

jimin: (it was)

tae: NAMJOON

namjoon: guys

jimin: ur no fun

y/n: sorry 😔

tae: yeah

you guys better be sorry

stupid idiots

jimin: shut up broke boy

namjoon: jimin please

jimin: whatEVER

tae: namjoon i don’t say this a lot because normally it wouldn’t be true but man i love you

guys i think me and namjoon were married in our past lives

cuz like were so in tune with each other

like he just gets me

i get him

i believe in every life we find each other

like we get married in every single life except this one

namjoon: no offence but in every life i would find you and divorce you if that were true

tae: oh

y/n: LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOO

yoongi: lol

jimin: no i see it the crack addict and the broke bitch love story

tae: at least someone gets it

nvm

should of read the whole message first

u guys are just closed minded

im telling you me an namjoon are like super alike someone thought i was him yesterday and he was so real and right for that

jk: i thought you said that guy that called you rm in the park yesterday was a racist not real or right

tae: jungkook

jk: yeah ^0^

tae: stop talking rn

jk: okay😵

hobi: cocaine is like really expensive how would tae and joon work out

tae wont be able to help feed into joons addiction

y/n: why do you know that cocaine is expensive

hobi: i know a lot of things that just happenes to be one of them

jimin: if you think about it when have you ever seen a crackhead be like nah im not gonna have crack today

they make that shit happen no matter what

and i think thats what attracts tae and joon together

like joon will do anything and everything to get his fix and tae would do anything and everything to have a place to sleep so their hardworking nature is what leads them to love

yeah

jin: ok !!!!!!

jimin i think you need a hobby or something

that was…. a lot

yoongi: shut up

jin: WHAT DID I DO???? AM I WRONG OR DID YOU ACTUALLY ENJOY JIMINS MINI FANFIC LIKE?????????

yoongi: i’ll punch you

jin: and i believe that!

shutting up #now

hobi: i wish i was mark lee rn

he probably doing something really canadian as we speak

jk: like what?

hobi: idk being nice

jimin: you called me ugly five minutes ago

you could never be mark lee

hobi: that literally wasn’t me i have no idea what ur talking about sorry i’m actually mark lee rn so i fr don’t know what ur talking about dude sorry dude i have to go on stage and dance with nct 127 now and then i have vocal practice with nct dream right after so i’m sorry dude i like have zero idea what ur talking about like actually like a sticker 2 baddies beatbox

me as mark lee and scene

jk: 10/10 really believable idk mark lee but i really though you were him for a second

y/n: great performance thought mark was here fr almost kissed you passionately on the mouth

yoongi: what

hobi: thank u thank u

you can still kiss me tho haha lol as mark or not idm

y/n: ok omg come here!!!

hobi: FR?????

y/n: no !!!!!!

but i did imagine us kissing like last week for like five seconds

hobi: yesssss 🙌 😝

a win is a win

yoongi: its not a win

she threw up at the thought

y/n: no i didn’t

yoongi: yes you did

you told me

y/n: i DID’NT

stop trying to gaslight me

it wont work

tae: have you imagined me naked

jimin: liked it better when you weren’t talking

tae: i liked it when YOU weren’t talking

jimin: shut the fuck up

jin: how about you both shut the fuck up

jimin: now why are YOU talking again

yoongi beat the shit out of him

yoongi: nah dont want to

the thought of his face isn’t pissing me off anymore

jin: thank you <3

yoongi: i could punch hoseok tho

hobi: no thank you ???

y/n: yoongi has a framed picture of all of us on his bedside table that he hides whenever you all come over in case you find it

he also has each one of our debut photocards in a small little binder in his studio in a little safe

yoongi: not true bye

yoongi left “BTW☠️😂”

y/n added yoongi to “BTW☠️😂”

y/n: very true very real seen them with my very two eyes

yoongi: you wear glasses

that you don’t actually wear

so who knows what u be seeing

that is NOT true

y/n: i wear glasses to READ and you know that

so shut up

guys yoongi would punch none of you because he loves you very much ok? 😍💖💯

tae: yoongi do you kiss our picture goodnight be honest

yoongi: fuck off actually

namjoon: thats very sweet yoongi

we love you too

jin: i DON’T

i fear my life when i’m around yoongi picture by his bed or not

i’m shaking in my boots i’m scared

yoongi: pussy

jin: i’m telling you ever since he broke that poor woozi guys nose i have not looked at him the same

y/n: ok but that was a mistake right yoongi

yoongi: ?

y/n: it was

and besides has yoongi broken your nose?

jin: no but it’s coming

i know it

yoongi: true

jk: i feel safe around yoongi

yoongi: you shouldn’t

jk: because he hasn’t broken my nose

but jimin did punch me once

jimin: dont bring up my past

hobi: if we think about it jimin should be locked up

jungkook you can press charges you know?

jimin: CAN WE NOT TALK ABOUT ME AND WHAT I’VE DONE

like we were talking about how yoongi actually love us

lets get back to that

yoongi: jimin should be put behind bars

jimin: yoongi loves us

yoongi: jimin is a bully

jimin: YOONGI LOVES US

tae: i love you back yoongi

yoongi: kill yourself

jimin is a literal bully like actually

jimin: and ur a fake one cuz u love us

jk: jimin you are bully

yoongi: ur right jungkook

you are so right

jimin: jungkook yoongi loves you

that’s why he’s agreeing with you

jk: i love you too yoongi ^0^

yoongi: jungkook jimin is bullying you

has been since you were 16

jk: ohmygod……..

jimin: jungkook yoongi has a photocard of you that he’s probably decorated and everything just cuz he cares so deeply about you

jk: he does????????

namjoon: ok both of you stop

jimin you ARE a bully

and yoongi its ok that you actually like us you should stop pretending you don’t

jimin: I AM NO BULLY

yoongi: i like not one of u 😒

namjoon: yeah ok

jk: GUYS OHMUGOD

tae DOES LIVE IN A CARDBOARD BOX I REMEMBER NOW 🤯🤯😨

tae left “BTW☠️😂”

—

think of this as a flash back/ forward idk of the good happy times ok? ok thank u >_<

sorry for the shit ending i just really like the first part and wanted to post

tags: @piw6n @92jinnies @birdie-vhs @kooksmilitarywife @hob3loveofmylife @jujubiism @bloopkook @ratchetpizza1 @myntalks @arloo00 @watamotee33 @y2kcy3brz @taiwan0618 @freyadanvers @gguksbeloved @raetf @bbsantc @winuvs @medicinemybish @bxnnyhime @leleluvsbts @baetukki @zyaaaszn @thelilbutifulthings @jazminethecreator @k4ngelz @jmnscutie @threeopossumsinacoat @cynicalyoongs @lightningpussy54 @eunthv @gigiiiiislife @lowkeykin @elissasimp @socksfirstalways @knjlvr06 @lailaisarmy @thvkives @xstfudaisyx @xxxanimangxxx @solstice34 @ml8dy @hoeforseoks

307 notes · View notes

thechekhov · 8 months

Text

Dungeon Meshi Quick Reacts: CH45

Slumber party!

Fair, but consider: She deserves a little murder. As a treat.

Kabru be like "IS THAT MY BACKSTORY???"

That sure is....a ship. With no one on it.

Ah, shit the Americans are here.

Two things: Toshiro being tended to like a pretty pretty princess is hilarious.

And also, the fact that they think the elves can kill Falin......... hmmm.... Pressing X to doubt.

............... oh. Laios. 😂

But also like. How was he MEANT to keep it silent? Put a little something in it? I thought since it was a magic bell you could code it to only ring when it's shaken with INTENT?

Fancy ass house.

Also, Namari...........are you hitting that yet? Both of that?

Oh, it's backstory time.

Okay one: that's fucking tragic, it sounds like the Elves are just forcing the dungeons closed with no regard for how the ecosystem compensates and what people suffer by being in close proximity......

And another thing: Kabru. Kabru, isn't that what YOU'RE after? Having all the power?

Why is this so much like that one meme where the girls at the party are looking at you.

It's the same picture.

Kabru that's. That's maybe not the way to go about it. you're going to give them MORE reasons to go in.

Nevermind the governor not being into this 'good boy, now sign' talk, Toshiro's kinda right. Ya fucked up Kabru.

No matter how far Laios runs, he cannot escape other people trying to tell him how to live his life. Poor guy. But at the same time...

Is this real? Or a red herring?

Laios' father and mother seemed to be living relatively pious lives. They clearly had a good house, but it didn't seem like they were extremely rich. Then again, perhaps he's just a cousin of royalty? Is that why his parents wanted him to have children?

They want to.... halt the growth of the dungeon? Is this another part of the natural ecosystem of things? Dungeons growing seems to point even more towards the idea that it's a gigantic, fleshpit-like creature instead of simply a construct.

Then again, constructs CAN be creatures. Like the golems.

Elves not understanding how old humans are continues to be hilarious because like.

As humans, we HAVE this same concept of variant aging. Like. Dogs. We understand that dogs live less than us, and mature a lot slower. But this is.... COMMON KNOWLEDGE. Most people do not make it into adulthood without understanding that dogs mature within 1-2 years of their birth.

The fact that elves, a species with FAR more time on their hands, who have lived alongside other races for AGES....... have STILL not got the general concept of aging down....means their education is atrocious. Or they're all not paying attention.

.......this. THIS is the most fascinating concept in this chapter.

The fallen.... turned into MONSTERS.

We know that dying inside the dungeon doesn't mean permanent death. But dying above-ground does.

We know that dying in the dungeon doesn't mean your body turns into a monster (aside from ghosts and ghouls?) ..... but dying aboveground.... DOES......?

WHAT'S THE TRUTH.

👁👁

Hm.

If Kabru and Laios fused, they could almost make one functioning human being.

Senshi just beginning to speak in the middle of his own internal monologue is so real.

...... what's going on there with the expression, buddy?

Bread.......are they STILL carrying around flour with them?! How are they getting bread?!

Also, it's awesome that the eggs are canonically hard to crack, because it makes sense that they don't break during their many fighting events.

Izutsumi really said ◉_◉

Don't tell me Laios, who is sensitive to ghosts has ALSO been seeing things?

Not gonna lie, that's highkey terrifying.

Props to that ghost that's been following Laios around, not ever giving up hope that it can bother him into acknowledging it.

And also - hey, it already saved them once! that means it's probably not evil!

That, or it's the king of the bloody dungeon. Wouldn't that be something!

#dungeon meshi #dungeon meshi quick reacts #dungeon meshi liveblog #chekhov reads dungeon meshi

366 notes · View notes

loveandleases · 1 month

Note

ANOTHER ASK - KEKEKEKE

What class and/or occupation would each of the ROs be in a fantasy world? And let's say MC is just a random commoner who gets tangled into a bunch of trouble and just wanted to live a peaceful life after being jilted by their fiancee and ostracized from their family? (Except their Aunt, who is the whole reason why MC could start a new life with her in a nice establishment, like an inn or shop!)

Curious how Cam would interact with MC upon his first meeting - but feel free to add the childhood friend factor 👀

😂 Yeeees, this is probably my fav question. You always send good ones! (I just have such an urge to do something fantasy) ❤️ Cam - Rogue! All the way, he's already got practice. Eventually join a thieves' guild and become one of the higher ups before ya know it.

💙 G - Cleric. Probably one of the most prickly cleric's. Would get so pissed when people get hurt, say they deserve it. Then heal them and just mumble the entire time.

💚 Kara - Spellcaster, mainly because she thought the whip was cool. Then she actually began to excel at it.

💛 M - They would be an Arcane Storyteller. With a focus on romance/horror spells.

💜 Isaac - An alchemist! They would be pretty successful in a fantasy setting. Isaac would be a relatively good one, probably doing better than some of the other RO's honestly.

🖤 Ardent - Berserker, a blood thirsty one. Likely has a vendetta against the thieves' guild.

So if Cam and MC were childhood friends, they eventually lost contact growing up. Especially given Cam's initiation into the thieves' guild. Gonna put it below break because long!

Shit, shit shit shit.

“Get him you dolts. How many fucking times has he made you look so pathetic!?” The man yells, as they try to keep up with the redheaded rogue.

Cam tore down the street, feet smacking against the cobblestone as he made his way around the throngs of people in the market. The guards were hot on his heels, as usual when they get a sight of that red hair. Who can blame them? He placed in the top three for best looking among the thieves’ guild. That thought alone causes his cheeks to flush, as he scratches his cheek. Now is definitely not the time to think about that.

They were getting closer, and he needed a quick way out. His eyes searched the crowd, looking for anything to help with his escape. He didn’t plan on getting caught, especially not today. The item in his pouch could easily fetch 300 gol to the right seller. Enough to cover the medicine for the kids at the guild, enough to put some food on the tables for over a week. With just enough leftover to pay off his tab at the inn.

A few feet away he spotted a fabric merchant’s stall, perched atop the tabletop, swaying precariously with the wind rests several stacks of colorful cloth. A myriad of colors and textures. Some he would never even dream of coming into contact with, well until now. With one calculated move, he slammed himself into the stall, the fabric falling into the dusty street. All except the pale green fabric he quickly grabs and uses to cover his hair. The merchant’s cries of protest cause the slightest pang of guilt. But he doesn’t look back- he knew the guards would be delayed momentarily.

He quickly ducks into a nearby alley, narrow and slightly overcast from the buildings on each side, winding his way through the labyrinth of back streets. The sounds of the bustling market, cries of the fabric merchant and guards fade behind him. The alley growing tighter in spots, the tall buildings cast deep shadows which Cam could easily use to his advantage if needed. As he rounded a corner, his escape was suddenly blocked.

His body collided with that of another, jarring them both. Cam staggers back, his eyes locking on the person before him. A brief flicker of recognition passes over their face, but not enough to make him stop what he was planning. Before either could speak, Cam grabs them. The guards’ steps closer now thanks to this little mess up.

In one quick motion, he grabs them pulling them tightly as his hand yanks out a dagger from his belt. The cool metal pressed close against the neck of the person before him. “Sorry,” he whispered, “I need to throw them off, and you just happened to be in my way.” Their eyes widen, not in fear, which Cam had expected. As the guards rounded the corner, their metal armor clinking loudly, MC with surprising speed, twisted around and slammed their forehead into Cam’s nose, with such force that sent stars dancing in his vision. “Fuck! What the hell, are you stupid. Ow-shit that smarts!”

Both stumbles back, blood pouring from their noses. Cam’s grip on his knife loosened, falling, and his would-be victim shoves him away, glaring at him with such anger it causes Cam’s skin to heat.

Shit, why do they look pretty all bloodied up?

Before he could stop himself, his hand slid up with intent to wipe the blood from the other person. Then it dawned on him…this has happened before. Well not nearly slicing the neck of someone while escaping from guards. But this person had headbutted him before, causing their noses to bleed. So very long ago.

“Red.” He whispers, watching as his former childhood friend looks him over.

“Cam!?”

The guards stand at the mouth of the street, taken aback by the sight before them. The rogue and supposed victim both stand bloodied. The confusion on the guard’s face was all the time he needed. Cam shoots a grin, vicious as blood seeped into his mouth, that which he spits on the cobblestone. “Tsk, listen I would like to buy you a drink before I take you back to my place, for old times sake. But we don’t have time. So, let’s catch up, ey?” He quickly pockets his knife, grabbing MC’s hand and begins sprinting down the alley.

#loveandleases #love and leases #cam #ardent #g #kara #isaac #m #scenario #fantasy setting #au

103 notes · View notes

cieloclercs · 1 year

Text

what would you say (if i told you i love you)? — charles leclerc

PART: 3? (read part 2 here)

summary. in which childhood best friends blur the lines between what they’ve always known, and something more

warnings. swearing, online hate, we’re getting to the angst now 🫣 arguments, charles is an idiot, arthur and joris being sick of his shit (but what else is new)

pairings. charles leclerc x arsty!reader

face claim. tara michelle

author’s note. again, i have no idea how much modern art sells for at auctions so don’t come at me if this seems unrealistic 🙏☹️ i also feel the need to clarify that y/n has 2 instagram accounts, one personal and one for art stuff ☺️

liked by joris_trouche and 51,196 others

y/nsart auction update! 🎨

tide - sold for €12,460 erode - sold for €9,500 wave - sold for €20,890 glint - sold for €6,300

this is nothing short of a dream come true for me. the support i’ve seen both on social media and at the auction (once again, thank you to everyone who stopped by!) has been beyond anything i ever could have hoped for 🩵

if you’d told me when i was a little girl that one day people would pay for art i’ve created, i wouldn’t have believed you. i’m so so grateful to have been given this opportunity to do something that i love and to share it with the world 💗 i can’t wait to see what the future holds!

view all comments…

username congratulations y/n! 💕💕

*y/nsart liked this comment

leclerc_pascale C'est tout à fait mérité. N'arrêtez jamais de peindre, ma fille, vous avez un don! / completely deserved. never stop painting, my girl, you have a gift!

y/nsart merci beaucoup 🥹 je promets de ne pas le faire x / i promise i won’t

arthur_leclerc congratulations petite sœur! / little sister

y/nsart merci arth ☺️

y/nsart also, ‘petite’? i’m literally older than you?

arthur_leclerc but you’re smaller 🙃

charles_leclerc toujours fière de toi, ma chérie ❤️ / forever proud of you, sweetheart

y/nsart 😐

charles_leclerc you’re still mad at me? ☹️

y/nsart if you wanted one of my paintings you could have just asked rather than wasting over €20,000. i would have let you have it for free

charles_leclerc i didn’t waste anything, y/n

username uh oh mom and dad are fighting 😳

username ironic how her highest selling painting was literally bought by her best friend 😭

username i guarantee you it would NOT have sold for that much if charles hadn’t been bidding

username i don’t want to be the one to say it but lately it kind of feels like y/n’s been using her friendship with charles as a way to promote her art…

username as much as i love y/n icl i think you might be right 🥲

username 🤢🤢🤢

username stop using charles’ fame to try and make yourself relevant! you’ll never be good enough for him babes 🥰

username the switch up on these comments from ‘fans’ is actually so embarrassing

username i know! it��s like as soon as y/n starts becoming successful everyone suddenly decides it’s not because of her own hard work but because of charles 🙄

username lmao how has she managed to make tens of thousands for that shit she calls art? i’m sensing a clout chaser 😂

username this REEKS of jealousy

username these comments make me sick. y/n has proved time and time again how talented and hard working she is. just because charles doesn’t know you exist doesn’t mean you get to hate on another girl who he ACTUALLY cares about. grow up.

*charles_leclerc and y/nsart liked this comment

username i feel so bad for y/n. no offence to charles but if he’d let the auction play out normally without bidding (although he does have a right to do so if he wants!) then she wouldn’t be getting all this hate right now 😔

comments on this post have been limited.

liked by pierregasly and 1,567,836 others

charles_leclerc back to work 🇳🇱

view all comments…

username no y/n like? ☹️

username is y/n with you?

username guys check kym illman’s instagram! he said charles turned up to the paddock alone…

username i mean, y/n could be arriving later right?

username if y/n isn’t there it’ll be the first race she’s missed since singapore last year 😳

username y/n has a life besides charles! just because she’s not at one race doesn’t mean they’ve fallen out or anything ☺️

username but think about it…neither charles nor y/n have posted anything to do with each other since the auction a week ago normally they can barely go a day without posting each other 🥴

username can everyone just stop talking about y/n 🙄 all she ever did was distract him anyway

username forza charles! ❤️

username he’s not even smiling :((

username because he knows ferrari are shit, it’s probably nothing to do with y/n

username i didn’t even mention her? 😭

joris_trouche i think you’re missing someone mate

username JORIS??

username HE KNOWS SOMETHING!!

username JORIS PLEASE TELL US WHAT YOU KNOW

username i hate to be the bearer of bad news but y/n just posted. she’s not at the grand prix 🥲

yourusername

viewed by charles_leclerc and 9,637 others

replies:

arthur_leclerc oh shit arthur_leclerc what did he do joris_trouche just say the word and i’ll smack him for you 😁 ↳ yourusername please don’t do that 😭 yourfriend you don’t need him, mon amour ❤️ ↳ yourusername ☺️

you:

did i do something wrong?

we haven’t spoken in a week

charlie 🤍:

no, y/n

you:

you won’t answer my calls

charlie 🤍:

i’ve been thinking about what you said

i don’t want you to have to deal with hate because of me

you:

so you think ignoring me is the answer?

charlie 🤍:

i’m not ignoring you, y/n, i’m trying to protect you

you:

what the fuck?

charles, i don’t care what people say about you

charlie 🤍:

but i do

isn’t it for the best? if we aren’t seen together for a while, you won’t get any of the hate

you:

you really don’t get it do you

if you think i want you to cut me off to ‘protect me’ then maybe you don’t know me as well as i thought you did

charlie 🤍:

don’t say that

i just want everyone to see you the way i do

you:

and i already told you, i don’t care what they think of me

i only care what you think

charlie 🤍:

why?

you:

i’m surprised you haven’t figured it out yet

charlie 🤍:

figured what out? [ seen at 4:11PM ]

y/n?

you:

i think it’s best if we don’t see each other for a while

bye charles

charlie 🤍:

what?! [ seen at 4:13PM ]

y/n come back [ delivered at 4:14PM ]

just tell me what you mean [ delivered at 4:20PM ]

please y/n [ delivered at 4:47PM ]

liked by yourfriend and 1,637,937 others

scuderiaferrari A DNF in Zandvoort for Charles. Now time to refocus ready for Monza 🔜

view all comments…

username what the actual fuck was going on with him today?

username i don’t know. i’ve never seen him so distracted 😕

username honestly a rookie mistake. if he’s going to be pulling shit like this then he doesn’t deserve his seat 🤷

username it’s just one mistake?? calm down 😭

username why do i feel like this has something to do with y/n…

username oh my god will you all shut up about y/n 🙄 they’re not even dating !!

username and? they’ve been best friends since they were 5 years old. if my childhood friendship broke down i’d be pretty fucking upset about it too

username we don’t actually know that they’ve fallen out tho…neither of them have said anything

username but isn’t it obvious? y/n not at the race, charles being distracted and sulky around the paddock? they’ve definitely argued about something

username charles i can’t keep defending you when you do this 💔💔💔

username how this guy has managed to keep his seat with all these mistakes i have no idea 😒

username hopefully y/n will be in monza to bring him some good luck🤞

➜ part 4

924 notes · View notes

fortpeat · 3 months

Text

The scene that needs to be talked about !!!

This scene has my whole heart and soul I am telling you 🥺🥺. I don't even know where to begin !

I feel like we truly forget how young Mahasamut is and that it's Tongrak who's the older one but we see a lot of patience from Mahasamut and the bratty side to Rak we truly forget that Mahasamut is just 20/21 yrs old and he is so young 🥺

(Personally I don't like calling Mahasamut as Mut coz I hate that word and if I do end up calling it's mostly through chat just coz I am lazy to type his whole name or I might just end up calling him Maha 😂. Maha means great in a lot of languages but I know it personally coz it also means great in Sanskrit!)

In this scene we start with Mahasamut telling that he has used all his lifetimes luck to have Rak with him 🥺 and one of the things I noticed is how often Maha says "someone like me" 😭😭 for all his confidence there's still a part of Maha that feels like he is not worthy of Rak's attention/affection especially when he believes that he has nothing to give in return 🥺 and when he asks Rak not to leave it came from a moment of desperation but seeing the surprise on Rak's face he takes it back believing he has no right to ask that of Rak.

The shift in their dynamics is so clear in this scene coz we see Rak acting his age by telling Maha to act his age and to just ask and he keeps caressing Maha's face and hair lovingly and I wonder if Rak even realizes hes doing that. 🥹🥹🙏

And the hesitation on Maha's face the clenched fists it all shows the battle that is going on within him that makes him want to just shut down and not ask coz this is a boy who was thrown out by his own parents at the mere age of 15 just coz he shared his love for the ocean and his creatures. He has believed that unless he is contributing useful something to the table he has no right / place to speak his mind about what he wants or needs 🥺

When he says I have nothing to offer you, I think it was very important that Rak replied back with "I want nothing from you" like it's so important Maha had to hear that from Rak. In that moment all their "transactional" jokes were nothing but dust in the air. For Rak it's a way to tell himself that this connection between them is just coz Rak is paying Maha but everyone but Rak knows that it's not true. These two yes they annoy each other, they banter and flirt but they also have these deep conversations in the middle of the night while gazing at the stars and think "why the hell did I say all that to someone whom I have known for just 2 weeks"

"If I ask and you refuse I might never dare to ask anyone again" it's true you know once we open up to someone and then when they reject or say to that part of us we might never find the courage to be that vulnerable again coz the pain of that rejection feels like a stab to our heart. It's basically telling us that this soft vulnerable part of us is not worthy of love / care. So every time after that even if we want to be vulnerable there's still a part of us that goes " what if history repeats itself again, will I be able to pick up the pieces and go through that again"

The vulnerability in Maha's face as he keeps looking at Rak and tells him that he won't prank Rak or annoy him or wake him up early 🥺 like - "I will do anything as long as you stay" and Rak replying back with "you being you is what I need" Maha needs to hear that - despite being an annoying little shit it is that very same nature that brought Rak closer to him and trust him.

Does Rak even realise how in love he looks here. The adoration and fondness his eyes convey. 🥺🥺 Their smiles when Rak agrees not to go was so cute and then the kiss attack 😭😭 (reminded me so much of Paisky I am crying more now)

MY HEART 😭😭😭 TAKE IT WILL YOU...

I want to give a standing ovation for Fortpeat coz their acting in this scene was phenomenal 😭😭 it was so so good ! Fort my baby you have brought me to tears 😭😭 (is it just me who's thinking Fort cries so prettily 🫣🫣)

This episode was so wholesome and it was everything and so much more. Fortpeat in vulnerable scenes are a league of their own !!!!

#love sea the series #love sea #Tongrak Mahasamut #fortpeat #fort thitipong #peat wasuthorn #ls ep3 #LS meta

129 notes · View notes

scekrex · 7 months

Note

Ooh, babes! I've got another idea!

How about Adam and reader who love to sleep in late, but one time the reader is moving so much in his sleep that he accidentally wrapped himself up in the blanket, obviously hogging it all to himself after stealing it, like a burrito and somehow managed to atthe same time kick Adam off the bed which woke him up so quickly, wondering what the fuck just happened, looking around the room and looking at reader, cussing him out and trying to wake him up, grumbling that he got violently pushed off the bed by his boyfriend, demanding retribution and the reader just casually, not giving two flying fucks, just grumbling out that he will let Adam top that night 😂

I just think it would be extremely hilarious 😂

Just woke up but fuck it, Adam x reader is too important to keep ya waiting (and motivation is kicking in so I gotta use it before it's gone again)

Hidden in the sheets

pairing: Adam x male!reader

warnings: language

note: not beta read bc fuck you I don't have beta readers

With someone as important as Adam as your boyfriend, sleeping in was a rare thing and yet both of you loved it, honestly who didn't?

Adam had told you often that you were moving a lot in your sleep, that resulted in sleepy, lazy morning sex more than just one time, however it was nothing he ever truly complained about. Well, that was until that one day.

You both were able to sleep in, you had taken the day off, had canceled all plans because you wanted to stay inside with Adam for as long as possible, Adam had managed to move his appointment with Sera from morning to evening which gave you two a lot of time together.

The first man had already noticed that you squirmed and twitched a little more than usual nights when you fell asleep before he was even able to reach the bed. He didn't pay any mind to it though, got into bed with you and fell asleep eventually.

What he hadn't expected was to wake up in pain on the wooden floor of the bedroom. The taller one grunted as he got up, holding his back in pain. “Hey, shithead,” he said loudly in order to wake you up, but fuck, it was hard to figure out where exactly your face was. His hand came up to where he suspected your shoulder to be and shook you lightly.

The blanket that was big enough for the two of you was fully wrapped around you, the only thing Adam was able to see were your toes. Your face, or rather your entire head, was covered by the blanket, if he would've picked you up like that, you wouldn't have been able to do shit about it. But he wasn't in the mood for that, he simply wanted to go back to sleep, the first man was tired after all.

You showed no reaction to his words or his actions, so he sat down on the bed and leaned in closer to where he thought your face was, “Don’t fucking kick me out of the bed and act like you're fully asleep.” Well, what Adam didn't know was that you weren't acting, you were actually still fast asleep. The brunette saw your wings twitching underneath the blanket and sighed, realizing you probably didn't choose the situation you were in. God have mercy, you were truly a mess in every way possible, weren't you? But he liked you as a mess, you were his mess after all.

So he slowly untangled you, covered both you and him with the warm, soft fabric and went back to laying down beside you. “You’re gonna make that up for me babes, I hope you fucking know that. Can't just kick me outta the bed and expect to get away with it,” he whispered in your ear and that got you to wake up, at least enough to process his words and respond “I got hurt, you hear that? My fucking back hurts, what if it's permanent?” You snorted, clearly amused by his words and responded, “Yeah, whatever, I'll let you top tonight when you come back from your meeting with Sera,” you mumbled into the blanket before you rolled over to cuddle up against Adam's chest.

The brunette simply stared out of the window, perplexed with how easy you simply gave him the control for that evening. Eventually he wrapped his arms around you, followed by his wings. He heard a small sigh that escaped you and felt the hot breath on his skin.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel adam #adam x male reader #male reader #adam x reader #adam x you #adam x y/n

168 notes · View notes

neroushalvaus · 10 months

Text

Tumblr in the 60s – Part 2

Part 1 / Deleted Scenes

💁🏼‍♀️brigittebardots Follow

anyone want to get fake married so i can get the pill to slut around

💋 marrymetwiggy Follow

Just say you have painful monthlies, I heard it works if you have a nice doctor!

💫 treatmetendermaureen Follow

Remember you still should use the sheet whenever possible. Stay safe ♡

1087 notes

♒ let-the-sunshine-in Follow

i think there's something wrong with me, i'm just so sleepy all the time, it's not fair

👭 marvelettesofficial Follow

That's because you spend all your nights listening to radio luxembourg

♒ let-the-sunshine-in Follow

i heard nothing last night so i built an antenna out of poultry net, iron wire and bits of tin. i cut my fingers and our family chickens ran away

☁️ ankin-vaimo Follow

A small price to pay for some music.

♒ let-the-sunshine-in Follow

the antenna fell apart before the german guy stopped talking

34 notes

🗣 ilovejohnlennon-deactivated19660729

me: chilling

my brain: if you were shot and weren't sure whether you'd live or die should you call the cops to make sure your murderer gets caught or call the ambulance to increase your chance of survival

me: what

🗣 elviskneesofficial-deactivated19631119

There should be a number that'd reach both of those

🕺 elvisherselvis Follow

That number already exists. It's been used in my city for like a two decades.

🏆 petebest-or-bust Follow

🕺 elvisherselvis Follow

Fuck you I'm British.

🪛 patrickwhoghton Follow

Oh my G, this post from -62 sounds so prophetic now that they're trying to make the 911 thing catch on, where's that jagger meme

🖖 spock-in-tardis Follow

🕺 elvisherselvis Follow

This is literally not gift of prophecy. I told you back when this post was first made that this number has already existed in UK for years. It was obviously going to spread elsewhere, even US was bound to catch on at some point.

🏆 petebest-or-bust Follow

you are still here?? keeping an eye on this post??

💋 marrymetwiggy Follow

you're so grumpy @elvisherselvis maybe you should phone the emergency number and get a wahhh-mbulance

98,9 t. notes

📼 bisexualbarbaradane Follow

my date: Oh I listen to folk as well!

me: That's so cool! Who are your favourites?

my date: I'm sooo into Bob Dylan.

me:

my date: Is everything okay?

me, stuffing jelly babies into my purse: I have to go, like, right now, immediately, sorry

#it's okay if you liked dylan before he became the judas he is #but you can't call yourself a folk fan if you still support him #ugghh i hate him #electric guitar using lil bitch #sigh #jelly baby meme #bob dylan critical // #anti bob dylan // #bob dylan hate //

2 notes

🛸 premisendgame Follow

Cock and balls, I'm watching this previously banned american film where an american man is trying to fuck a soviet spy (played by famously very russian Greta Garbo) by offering her champagne and he is like "have you never had champagne?" and Greta is like "never 🥺 only goat's milk and a ration of vodka in the army" and the tv screen freezed and was like "ERROR!! CHAMPAGNE HAS BEEN SERVED IN SOVIET UNION SINCE 1936" I'm 😂😂😂

🪐 stalincredible Follow

You Americans will say anything to make Soviet stuff look silly

🛸 premisendgame Follow

Where do you think I am watching soviet tv from?? Or did I miss the memo where americans have the monopoly on joking about their own damn country??

322 notes

🥁 ringoforpresident Follow

"In future there will be telephones you can take with you anywhere" I can't even fucking listen to Radio Luxembourg without building a goddamn satellite, sending it to space, reciting spells and prayers, and sticking the radio out of the window at 2am EET. And even then it needs to be snowing for it to work because the radio wave fairies like snow or some shit

♒ let-the-sunshine-in Follow

preach

540 notes

#this probably won't be very popular because some of these are very niche but i had fun #is the radio luxembourg station being impossible to listen to an universal experience?#i feel like older people in finland have a permanent chip on their shoulder because listening to it was so hard #there is a possibility ninotchka is doing a little time travel here; i remember this corrected version was shown at some point #but it may have been later #anyway just enjoy the ride #tumblr in the 60s #1960s #dashboard simulator #fake dashboard #60s #unreality

284 notes · View notes

snoopledrooplecheesedoodle · 5 months

Note

For mermay: how about merman! Joseph where Y/N finds him on the beach at low tide and when he sees them he freaks out and tries to go NIGERUNDAYOOOO but he's on land and he's just flopping around 😂

Absolutely! That's hilarious, you didn't specify whether you wanted yandere or non-yandere, so I made it ambiguous. Enjoy my beautiful mermay enjoyer (you also can be handsome if you want cutie!)❤️

Beached

Joseph was often told that his attention seeking behavior would cause him trouble one day. His elders often scolded him for causing currents in the city, startling fish, and wandering too close to the surface. He'd always laugh at them and quip back something clever that made them angrier. Now he realized they might have been right.

It was a simple bet really; Cesear and he were swimming around causing mischief when the topic of the surface came up. "I bet they've got some pretty hot babes on the surface. Ones with two tails instead of one." Joseph sighed dreamily, causing Cesear to scoff. "The women of the land can't compete with the women of the sea." Typical Cesear, so close minded. A smirk appeared on Joseph's face as a "brilliant" idea came to mind. "Oh Cesear, I think that I can find someone more beautiful than all the merfolk in the sea just by the beach." Cesear's kelp green eyes narrowed. "Your next words are 'You bastardo Joseph, you've got yourself a deal!'" Cesear fell for Joseph's ploy. "You bastardo Joseph, you've got yourself a deal!" Joseph shit eating grin was met with shock and anger from the other merman. "You smug sea devil, get back here!" Joseph giggled to himself as he swam from his friend.

Things were going good for Joseph no merfolk noticed Joseph and Cesear sneak towards the surface. Cesear still kept his underwater, like the bloody coward he is. No matter all Joseph has got to do is scope out the land for some hot babes! Swimming closer and ducking his head underwater when he thought someone might be coming, he eagerly spied on the beach to find... NO ONE?! What gives? It was a beautiful morning, sun rising steadily into the sky water at low tide. Low tide... "OH NO!"

You had just woken up and stretched a bit, this was a great place to vacation during the summer. Beautiful town, friendly people, and the sea. White sand for miles around and clear blue ocean water. You love the Mediterranean! Donning a swim shirt and swim trunks and covering that with a light beach cover up, you slipped on your sandals. You rode your bike through the small town that was peacefully asleep, it was pretty early in the morning. Perfect time to have the beach all to yourself. You were ready for another day of tanning, relaxing, and summer fun. You hop off your bike and walk over to the beach humming a tune that was stuck in your head. (Fav song) gets better each time you hear it. Your peace was ruined by someone screaming, oh my god is that person okay? Running to the source of the noise you found a handsome man. He had a mop of wild brown hair and eyes the color of sea glass. He was tall, tan, and muscular and had no legs. Instead, there was a beautiful green fish tail. The man Stopped his loud yelling and violently slapping his tail to look at you. The merman precedes to flop even harder.

Joseph was stuck and while he was an intelligent bastard he also was a cocky one. He wasn't paying attention to the tides and now was flopping around like a fish out of water. Well, he was one but that was beside the point. "Cesear, move your big tail and help me!" The man was met with bubbles. Oh, so that's how that is, Cesear was laughing at his misfortunes. Fake friend! Joseph was too busy cursing the blond traitor that he didn't notice a pair of footsteps quickly approaching him. A light gasp caused his head to snap over to the creator of the noise. A person who was (short/medium/tall) and had (h/l) (h/c) hair and (e/c) eyes. They were wearing baggy cloth that hid their curves from his curious gaze. He found a two tail... a hot two tail! Crap a two tail! Joseph begins flopping harder than before he needed to get out of here. He heard the two tail speak in a language he could not understand as it franticly approached him. Hell no!

Wack! the powerful green tail smacked you straight in the gut, throwing you onto some sharp seashells thoroughly knocking the wind out of you. You were trying to help but this merman just gut punched you with his tail. He frantically made clicking and chattering noises to something in the water you could not see. Another merperson? That didn't matter right now, what did was getting the merman back into the ocean before other people came. The merman looked to be made of pure muscle so there was no picking him up and approaching him from behind would get you smacked again. Maybe you could get some water over to where you are. You crept around the merman and threw your hands up in a sign of nonaggression towards the frightened brunet. the ocean was further than you thought and you didn't have a bucket to pour water on him. Frustrated you sank your feet into the wet sand causing water to fill in the hole you made in the sand. Bingo!

Joseph was confused as to why the two tail was digging a hole at this time. Is that what two tails do when stressed? He'd have to ask Speedwagon but right now he continued to observe the two tail and keep them a tail length away. Continuing to watch he saw water slowly filling the hole they made as the dug up to where Joseph would be making some sloppy aqueduct. Who knew two tails could be smart? Joseph met the desperate (e/c) that held no malice towards him. He was good at reading people and knew the land dweller was no danger to him and was even trying to help. Joseph began slowly inching towards them and the small saltwater river they were making, their hands looked tired, but they didn't stop, even as sweat began to form on their brow. Joseph felt his heart began beating faster not out of fear but something else. They didn't have to help them and yet they were trying, more than some merfolk ever did for him.

You heard a squeak and a splash coming from behind you the merman enters the watery area you made for him and was pushing you with him towards the ocean. You both landed with a plop in the warm waters of the Mediterranean, salt stinging your eyes as you had not been prepared to go swimming right now. Surfacing you gasped for air as you searched for the merman, only to see the green merman circling you like a shark. Did you just put yourself in danger? Plop the merman's head surfaced from the water a cheeky grin on his face. Face only centimeters from your own, he looked like he was going to kiss you. You blushed as you found him handsome but wasn't expecting this, squeezing your eyes shut and turning you head away from him. Nothing. You opened your eyes to look at the merman who looked at you with lips puckered and squirted salt water into your face. Gross! The mermaid disappeared before you could even yell at him for not only scaring the crap out of you but getting salt water in your mouth. You couldn't help but laugh though as the merman was very playful and you didn't mind the water. That was until you saw your shoes floating away from you.

Joseph swam down to a smirking blond with a big goofy grin on his face. "Well Joseph, did you see a land babe?" Cesear mocked him but Joseph was in too good of a mood to pout. He was so close to you, he could have kissed you! However, kissing was sacred in mermaid culture only to be done with mates. He blushed at the thought of you being his mate. You could swim with him, he could introduce you to Cesear, and he could show you his home! His giddy thoughts were interrupted by the sour taste that came to his mouth when he thought of introducing you to Cesear or any other merfolk. He didn't want to do that, you were too precious for them. With that decided he planned hen he would meet his own little two leg again with Cesear chasing after him.

Sorry if it sucks, I kinda rushed towards the end because I didn't know if you wanted yandere or not, so this was more fluffy. Please feel free to request more this mermay.

#yandere x reader #yandere jojo's bizarre adventure #male yandere #yandere #joseph joestar #joseph x reader #yandere joseph joestar?#yandere?#ambiguous #mermay 2024 #merman #honestly just a fun idea that I thought I'd do #erina pendleton #erina joestar #speedwagon #ceaser zeppeli #yandere jjba

86 notes · View notes