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mxmmyprentiss · 2 months

Text

she cared (she was just scared)

Summary: You and Emily have known each other since you were fifteen. Back in Rome, she had a hard time fitting in and you were one of her friends, along with John Cooley and Matthew Benton. She was closer friends to you first but she and Matthew spent more time together months before he died. When Matthew passed away, him being a mutual friend of yours, it somehow felt that your connection with her died too. Genre: Angst (with happy ending) Pairing: Emily Prentiss x female reader Warnings: mentions of abortion, homophobia, catholic/religious guilt, implied suicide of minor character Word count: 7.4K

A/N:

This is basically inspired by Criminal Minds S4E17 Demonology and Kat Victoria's song called "Scared". Sorry for any and all grammar, spelling and other writing mistakes. I've been dealing with writer's block recently and I finished this fic just to keep my gears going. I'm not really satisfied how this fic turned out but I hope it's okay enough to read lol.

All likes, comments and reblogs are welcome. Thank you :)

AO3

You and Emily have known each other since you were fifteen. Back in Rome, she had a hard time fitting in and you were one of her friends, along with John Cooley and Matthew Benton. She was closer friends to you first but she and Matthew spent more time together months before he died. When Matthew passed away, him being a mutual friend of yours, it somehow felt that your connection with her died too.

You haven’t seen Emily since Matthew’s funeral. You saw her sitting in the last row during the funeral mass. You tried to find her after but she was already gone. You and John stayed a bit longer when everyone had gone home, reminiscing about your friend who had gone too soon.

Since that day, it wasn’t just Matthew who left you. Your friends drifted away one by one. First came Emily. Then, eventually, John became too busy to hangout. Matthew took a part of you and your friends with him.

So you learned to be on your own.

Your friends didn’t keep in touch with you and you are with them. But you wish they had. It was a short-lived friendship but it was the best year you ever had.

It was a month later that you found out through one of your teachers that Emily and her mother flew back to America. She didn’t say goodbye; not to you or John. But the next day, you found an envelope with a picture of you, Matthew, Emily and John posing just outside of the church during the first fall of snow. It was taken five months before Matthew passed. There wasn’t a note or anything at the back of the photograph but it’s safe to say it was from Emily. It was her camera that you used.

It was during the first year of college that you saw Emily again. She looked different now. She had thick eyeliner, black lipstick and a leather choker on her neck. Her dark hair was all over the place and you’re absolutely sure, her fashion choices would send her mother into a coma (if she wasn’t already in one yet). Emily looked different but you’re sure it was her.

Your eyes met for a brief moment until she looked away and asked two muscular men behind her to help her carry her suitcases. You looked the other way too.

You finally reached the women’s dormitory after being lost on campus for fifteen minutes. It wasn’t that far from the university apparently. You just sucked at following people’s directions.

Once everything was settled at the lobby, you hiked to your room. Just your luck, the elevator was under maintenance and you had to drag two suitcases and a duffle bag all the way to the third floor using the stairs.

When you reached the third floor - second room to the left, you kept mumbling to yourself - the door was already open. Your roommate probably already beat you there. You just hope she would be friendly and not hoard all the living room space.

You stopped at the door upon seeing a familiar figure. Emily was already setting up her desk in the first room. Her suitcases were open in her bed. She must have sensed you standing at the door. Emily glanced at you. She didn’t smile so you didn’t either.

“Do you need help?” Emily asked. “I hope you don’t mind that I already took this room. I don’t like the sunrise.”

“It’s fine.” You replied, lifting your bags to your room. You started unpacking your things.

Both of your doors remained open. There was unsettling silence in the air as the two of you finished unpacking. You didn’t know why. You two were friends - good old friends - and you should be catching up after not seeing each other for a long time. Instead there’s this.

You wanted to ask Emily a lot of things. You wanted to start at her interesting goth phase; although no amount of make up could mask her big brown eyes. You also wanted to ask her how she’d been; tell her you tried to write to her but you didn’t know where to send it, so the letters piled up and hidden in the pockets of your suitcase.

You felt a poke on your shoulder. “Do you mind if I put up a curtain?” Emily pointed at the big window in the middle of the living room. “My migraine can get bad if there’s too much light.”

“Go ahead. It’s fine.”

“Can you help me?”

“Sure.”

You stepped on the table to reach for the rod. Emily’s hand landed on your leg, supporting you. You put up the curtain. The room went dim but definitely much better for the eyes now. Emily guided you down.

“Thanks, Y/N.” Emily smiled.

“Emily,” You called her. You leaned against her doorframe. She glanced at you. “H-how have you been?”

Emily sat on her bed and continued folding her clothes. When she didn’t speak for two minutes, you gave up on waiting for her reply. You were about to leave when she spoke again.

“I’m sorry,” Emily blurted out. “For not saying goodbye in Rome.”

“It’s alright,” You lied. Of course, it wasn’t alright. She was your friend and she left you. “Your mom travels a lot so…”

Your eyes met Emily’s. She was always hard to read and until now, it’s true.

“It wasn’t just that.” Emily sighed, running her hands through her hair but caught up in the knots. You suppressed your chuckle with a bite of your lower lip. “When Matthew died, I was all over the place. He was my friend and I had a hard time accepting he was gone.”

“So did I.” You mumbled. “And I was your friend too.”

“I know. I’m sorry I wasn’t there, Y/N.”

You didn’t say anything. You sat on your bed and continued unpacking. And as you do so, the silence lingered in the air again.

—

Surprisingly, Emily’s goth phase in college only lasted the day she moved in your dorm. You bet yourself it would last longer but the next day happened. You saw the ambassador’s car in the parking lot and recognized the two armed men in black waiting outside your dorm room; the same ones that helped Emily with her baggage when she moved in. It was Emily’s mother. You never met her in person before but Emily had one family picture of her in her wallet during her stay in Rome.

One of the bodyguards requested that you wait in the lobby and you did. They were too intimidating for you to do otherwise.

Emily didn’t speak to you about it but after the surprise visit from her mother, everything changed. She didn’t wear short skirts with fishnets again. Instead, Emily either wore light-colored blouses or plain long sleeves polos and jeans. She no longer wore makeup except for the lip gloss. Not that Emily needed it anyway. She was always beautiful in a way that makes you wonder why God has favorites.

The sullen look on her face was consistent for almost a week. You wanted to ask if she’s okay. Few attempts were made but Emily had walls higher than the Great Wall.

You have known Emily for only a year during your stay in Rome. It wasn’t a long time but at least, she was more open then, more trusting and carefree. You wonder what happened to that girl you used to know.

—

You met Jennifer Jareau in one of your classes. She was kind and bubbly and lets you borrow her notes when you’re late in class. You two clicked so fast and became inseparable. She insisted you call her “JJ” instead of “Jennifer”.

JJ sat next to you in the cafeteria. She laid her tray down; mac and cheese, sliced apples, orange juice and a small bag of Cheetos.

“Do you want to go to a party tonight?” JJ asked, munching on the Cheetos first. “Derek invited me and he said I could bring a plus one.”

“Derek Morgan? You’re friends with him?”

JJ nodded. “We have two classes together.”

“Don’t tell me you’re crushing on the freshman manwhore.”

JJ rolled her eyes. “He’s actually a good guy. Just very flirty.”

“Where’s the party?”

“Palm Paradise. It’s not that far from your dorm.”

“I don’t know where that is. Is it a bar?”

“Yeah, a big one.”

“Oh, I don’t like big scenes.”

“Come on, I’ll be with you the whole time.” JJ tugged your arm, pleading, “Please.”

JJ was looking at you with her best puppy eyes with a matching pout and you couldn’t say no. “Fine. Just stop looking at me like that.”

“God, you’re so easy.” JJ smirked. “I’ll pick you up at 7.”

—

You and JJ arrived at Palm Paradise together. The place was already filled with college students, most of whom were freshmen. The loud music and smell of booze filled the air. You tugged JJ’s arm and pointed at Derek Morgan dancing with a blonde. JJ called for him and immediately ran to greet JJ and then you. Derek introduced his best friend, Penelope. You doubted they’re just best friends though because for the five minutes that you’ve known them, they already flirted at least four times.

You were sitting on the couch with a cold beer in hand. JJ was sitting beside you and gossiping with Penelope.

The floor was crowded with drunk dancing and grinding college students. You got startled when the crowd roared when a girl with a long red wig and thick glasses stood on the table and lifted her shirt up, revealing a crimson bra.

“Damn, she’s hot.” JJ whispered in your ear.

“And drunk.” You chuckled.

When the girl clumsily alighted from the table, her wig and glasses fell. Then, you met her gaze. You know who those eyes belong to. You couldn’t be wrong.

Emily.

“Hey!” Emily stumbled towards you, clearly intoxicated. “You are here too!”

“S-so are you.” You took her arm and guided her to sit on the couch. “You are so drunk.”

“‘m not.” Emily slurred. She tried to stand up but quickly fell back to her seat. She laughed. “It’s spinny.”

“You know her?”

“Yeah, she’s …” You glanced at Emily whose eyes were closed and head was thrown back at the couch. “She’s my roommate.”

Emily reached for your hand, giggling. “You are so pretty! Why do you always frown?”

“I don’t frown.”

JJ took a quick look at you. “You’re frowning now.”

You roll your eyes. “Okay, take her side.”

Emily suddenly pulled your hand causing you to trip over and fall on her lap. JJ and Penelope pursed their lips to suppress a grin.

“What are you doing?” You asked Emily who only smiled drunkenly. Despite being roommates, this was the closest you and Emily have been for the past few weeks and you’re suddenly aware of the pounding in your chest. “Do you need to go home?”

Emily shook her head, still with a tipsy smile on her face. She fiddled the collar of your shirt. “Only if you -” She leaned in, bumping your noses together. “- are coming with me.”

“Y/N, I think she’s drunk. You should take her home.” JJ said.

“But -”

“I’ll be okay. I’ll hang out with Penelope.”

“She’ll be safe with me. I won’t leave her, I promise.” Penelope assured you.

“Okay, leave me a message when you guys get home.” You stood up and put Emily’s arm on your shoulder, guiding her as she stood up. “Let’s go, drunkie.”

Dragging an intoxicated Emily home was harder than you thought. She threw up twice on the sidewalk before even getting in the cab. You had to keep supporting her as she walked too because she kept tripping. But the worst part of it all was that Emily was a flirty and touchy drunk. During the short cab ride, Emily couldn’t keep her hands off your neck, running her fingers up and down your collar, and squeezing your bicep. She kept whispering sweet nothings in your ear and the fluttery feeling in your chest was getting out of hand.

When you reached the dorm, Emily was already passed out so you carried her on your back, praying over and over that she won’t throw up on you. The elevator ride was quick but the walk to your room wasn’t. Emily’s head kept sliding on your shoulder and she’s falling so you had to make a few stops.

You laid Emily down on the sofa when you finally arrived at your dorm room. Her bedroom was locked and you contemplated on whether to just leave her passed out in the living room or not.

“Emily,” you whispered, tucking a hair behind her ear. “Emily, do you have your key?” Her only answer was an annoyed groan. You sighed. How many drinks did she actually have?

You carried Emily on your back again and transported her to your bed. You figured that tomorrow would be a hell of a hangover and she would be more comfortable here than the sofa. You tucked her into your bed and you left her a glass of water and ibuprofen on the bedside for when she wakes up.

You settled on the couch tonight.

—

Emily woke up to a throbbing migraine. The sunlight didn’t make it any better.

Sunlight?

Emily scanned the room. There were movie posters hanging on the wall, a stack of books on the desk and a pile of mixtapes neatly arranged on the shelf. This was definitely not her room.

She drank a glass of water and ibuprofen on the bedside table.

Emily breathed out loud when she realized she’s in her dorm and didn’t end up somewhere unsafe. She found you sleeping soundly on the sofa. Emily accidentally hit her knee on a table beside the sofa. The curse that came from her lips jolted you awake.

“Hey, you’re up.” You said groggily, sitting up. “How are you feeling?”

“Like there’s a rammer inside my head and it’s moving on its own.”

You laughed at her creativity. “Yes, well, alcohol does that.”

“I don’t remember most of what happened. Did you bring me home?”

You nodded. “I had to carry you on my back. You passed out.”

Emily grimaced. “Sorry about that.”

“It’s okay.” You assured her.

“Did I - did I do something embarrassing last night?”

You smirked. “You bet.”

Emily groaned, head on her hands. “I’m never drinking again.”

“You flashed the entire bar.”

“I did?!”

“You did.” You laughed. “You got up on the table and pulled your shirt up. The red bra looks nice, by the way.”

Emily checked the bra underneath her shirt. “Oh, fuck.” She sighed, disappointed and embarrassed about her actions.

“Everyone was drunk, anyway. They probably won’t remember.”

“You weren’t.”

“Yeah, I wasn’t. And JJ and Penelope.”

“Who?”

“My friends.”

“Oh.” Emily’s face turned red. “I-I’m sorry.”

You took Emily’s hand and squeezed it. “It’s okay, Emily. It’s not bad to have fun.”

“Thank you.” She smiled. You haven’t seen her smile in a while.

—

Everything changed between you and Emily since the party. She talked to you more. She smiled more. She no longer avoided your presence despite living in the same apartment. It felt like you were friends again just like before when there were four of you. Except now it’s just two.

Emily was pulling an all-nighter at the living room. She was walking back and forth, reading passages and repeating it back to herself to memorize. You tried not to distract her by tiptoeing quietly to the kitchen to make some midnight snacks.

You made two sandwiches; one for you and one for Emily. You left hers on the center table and she mouthed a thank you and you nodded in return.

You left your bedroom door open just enough so you could peer at Emily. You watched her walk back and forth. The bags under her eyes were visible. She’s been pulling all nighters three times a week for a month now. She's obviously exhausted. Midterms were coming and Emily Prentiss was nothing but an overachiever.

After an hour, Emily finally rested on the sofa. She stretched her legs, placing her feet on the center table. Her breaths were loud and erratic.

“You should take a break. Get some rest.” You told her worriedly.

“I’m okay, Y/N. I only have one more chapter to read.” She replied, eyes closed. “Why are you not sleeping yet?”

Because you weren’t.

“Not yet sleepy. I had coffee.”

“You don’t drink coffee,” she snorted.

There was that fuzzy feeling in your stomach again because Emily remembered. She remembered that you didn’t like coffee. It’s silly to feel pleased about that.

Emily eventually fell asleep on the couch around 3 a.m. You found her textbook snuggled to her chest and she was clutching her notes in her hand. You snatched a blanket from your room and tucked her in.

You were going back to your room to sleep when you heard Emily talking in her sleep. It’s hard to make out what she was saying. It went on for a minute until Emily started frantically shaking her head and the mumbles grew louder. Emily was calling for your name, then Matthew, then John.

“Emily,” You tapped her shoulder. Nothing. “Emily, wake up.” You stroked her face gently as you tapped her leg. “Emily, wake up.”

Emily’s eyes snapped open, face now covered in cold sweat. She looked around, suspicious that whatever it was in her nightmare followed her here.

“It’s okay, you’re safe, Em.” You promised her, squeezing her arm. “Do you need anything?”

Emily took a couple of deep breaths. “Can you … can you stay?”

“I’m not going anywhere. Do you want to sleep with me tonight?” You cleared your throat. “I mean, sleep in my bed with me. Sleep sleep, not sleep sleep.”

If she didn’t just have a bad dream, Emily would have laughed. She only nodded.

You woke up the next morning with your head on Emily’s chest and her arms wrapped around you. Her breaths were synchronized with your own like a lovely duet. Her scent filled your head.

—

Emily sleeping with you in your room had become a routine. Sometimes you slept in hers too but she insisted that your mattress was far more comfortable.

“I thought you hated sunlight.” You murmured one night, your backs facing each other. “But you liked sleeping here.”

“I don’t hate you.” She murmured back.

I don’t hate you.

You wanted to ask Emily what it meant because when it came to her, things were rarely black and white. Did it mean she liked you? Love is the opposite of hate, after all, so did that mean that she loved you? Or is it just something she said without thinking and didn’t mean anything by it at all?

You wanted to ask her but there’s something caught up in your throat and you decided not to.

Emily was the one to fall asleep first. You lied in bed unmoving, staring at the window, crescent moon peeking into view.

You felt Emily’s arm wound around your stomach. She pulled you closer to her, hugging you. You could feel her breathing on your neck. She was still sleeping soundly.

You decided you can worry about this some other time. Because right now, it felt right.

—

“Hey, angel.” JJ was standing outside your door, holding takeouts and a notebook. “I thought I’d drop by and let you borrow my notes. Also I bought you chicken soup.”

“You didn’t have to, JJ.” You smiled and let her in. “Can I get you anything? Water? Juice?”

“No, I’m okay.” JJ placed a hand on your forehead. “You’re still burning up. Have you taken your meds yet?”

“I just did. Waiting for it to kick in.”

JJ was telling you about something funny that happened in Professor Rossi’s class when Emily came in with the biggest smile on her face but it was suddenly gone when she spotted you and JJ sitting on the couch.

“Hi,” JJ waved at her and Emily waved back with an awkward smile. “I just dropped by to bring my notes to Y/N and give her soup.”

“That’s … thoughtful?” Emily raised her eyebrow, confused as to why was your friend telling her that.

“Yeah, she told me she was sick -”

“You’re sick? You said you didn’t have classes.” Emily quickly placed a hand on your forehead then to your neck. “You’re hot.” She glared at you when you wiggled your eyebrows. “Do you want me to take you to the hospital?”

“I’ll be fine. I’ve got my meds and my soup.” You grinned. “Thanks, Jay.”

“You’re welcome.” JJ stood up. “I gotta go. I’ll see you tomorrow? Leave me a message, okay?”

“I will.”

JJ hugged you and kissed your cheek. You glanced at Emily, clenching her jaw, one eyebrow raised. “Get better fast.” JJ ruffled your hair before leaving.

When you turned around, Emily was glaring at you, arms crossed. You stared blankly. She didn’t say anything and marched to her bedroom. Before you could ask what’s wrong, she already slammed the door.

Emily didn’t crawl to your bed that night nor did she talk to you the next morning. But she left you cooked meals in the kitchen until you felt better.

—

It was five days later when Emily started speaking with you again. Truthfully, you were getting tired of the quick, sidelong glances she was throwing at you the past few days. You tried to make conversation but she quickly hid in her room every time. She didn’t even ask to sleep in your room when you heard her kicking and crying during another nightmare and you were there to wake her up.

Emily was cooking breakfast in the kitchen and asked if you wanted to have some. You nodded, smiling. You didn’t know what you did wrong but at least she’s not ignoring you anymore.

She prepared a plate for you; pancakes, bacon and hash brown. She poured orange juice on your glass. “Here you go,” she said, sliding the plate towards you. “I couldn’t make the pancakes round so you’re gonna have to forgive me.” You both chuckled.

You and Emily ate in silence. It was so quiet that you could hear her every time she chewed on the pancakes and sipped her coffee.

“Emily?” You finally broke the hush. Emily hummed. “Are you mad at me?”

She glanced at you and huffed. “No. Why would I be?”

You shrugged. “Then, do you like me?”

“Of course,” Emily answered without hesitation. “Of course, I like you. You’re my friend.”

You felt a pang of disappointment. “Not just as a friend, Emily.”

There was no reply.

“Emily?” You tried again.

“Why’d you ask?”

“Just answer me.”

You weren’t angry at her. You just wanted answers. You were tired of thinking and wondering why everything felt different one day like you were friends again, and different the next day like you don’t know each other.

She let out a loud exhale. “I can’t.”

“Why?”

“You … you're someone I want in my life for a long time. I don’t want to lose you.”

You knitted your brows. “Why would you lose me?”

“I - I don’t know. It’s what always happens to me. I can’t risk having stupid feelings for my best friend, for you.”

You let out a bitter chuckle. “Having feelings for me is stupid?” You asked, obviously offended by Emily’s choice of words.

“That’s not what I mean.”

“Do you need to look up synonyms for stupid?”

“Y/N, please -”

“I never should have asked. Let’s just forget this happened.”

“Y/N, that’s not what I mean. You know that.”

“No, I don’t!” You couldn’t control the frustration in your voice anymore. “I don’t understand why you keep pushing and pulling me around. You already did this to me when we were in Rome. When anyone came near me, you drove them away. You called me amore mio for months but got awkward the minute I called you mine. You almost kissed me once when we sneaked out for John’s birthday. You told me then that if I was a boy, I’d be the love of your life. Did you know it was killing me, Emily?” Your voice was already trembling and your lips quivering. You blinked a few times to stop the tears that were threatening to fall. Emily’s eyes remained on you. “It was killing me because I would have loved you so much if you had let me.”

Emily reached out for your hand but you were quick to retract it. You wiped your cheeks of the wet proof of the agonizing pain you were feeling.

“I won’t bother you with my stupid feelings anymore.” You muttered before storming back to your room.

—

The days passed by excruciatingly fast. You only had two weeks to study for your upcoming finals and the lack of sleep every night and the intense headaches weren’t helping your cause.

Your dorm room has been quiet since your fall out with Emily. You did your best to avoid her at all costs. When she’s in the kitchen, you’d stay in the living room until she’s done and when she’s in the living room, you’d sprint to the kitchen. You caught her glancing at you a few times but you quickly averted your eyes each time.

JJ came over to study with you two nights before your finals. She was running on coffee and you on energy drinks. Penelope was supposed to go study with you too but sleep seduced her early.

“Where’s Emily?” JJ asked.

You only shrugged in reply.

“Are you in a lovers' quarrel or something?”

“No, we’re not lovers.”

“Ah, but you guys fought?”

“Don’t wanna talk about it, JJ.”

“You like her, don’t you?”

Aside from being a good people reader, JJ has this crazy instinct. You hate it sometimes.

“Still don’t wanna talk about it.” You said. JJ respected that but you knew she would ask again one of these days.

JJ concentrated on one subject and made an outline to share with you once she’d finished. You did the same on a different subject that you shared. You exchanged notes and bounced different ideas and knowledge with each other. Eventually, the caffeine wore off. JJ drifted off, curled in a fetal position on the floor. You followed her five minutes later.

—

Emily had been spending more time at the library and coffee shop to study. She couldn’t concentrate at the dorm and being in close proximity with you. Every time Emily sees you, the gnawing ache in her chest grows. And no matter how many times she had gone over head about what’s the right thing to say, she couldn’t trust herself to not fuck it up and mess things up even more.

She came home around midnight. She unlocked the door and opened it as quietly as possible, as she was afraid she might wake you. She knew you liked studying in the living room because your room felt small.

Tonight you weren’t alone though. Emily saw a friendly blonde lying on the floor with you. You weren’t cuddling, Emily was somehow relieved of that. But there was a tightness in her chest that she couldn't get rid of. Her jaw clenched at the sight. She’s not mad at you or her. There was a part of her that wanted to come in between the both of you just so there will be space. It was too close and Emily envied that. It wasn’t long ago that she was the one lying beside you. In your bed. With her arms wrapped around you.

Emily missed you.

When Emily lied in bed, she tried to redirect her thoughts on the topics she memorized in hopes of reciting them again but the thought of you occupied her mind. Every toss and turn in her bed, there was you; in Rome, in your bed, in her bed, in the kitchen, in the living room, at the campus.

For the first time in a long time, Emily allowed her mind to travel back to the Catholic international school in Rome where she first met you.

The uniform was ridiculously prude; skirt too long, vest too thick, socks too high. You stood out to Emily on the first day back in class after a week break in November. The pink streaks underneath your hair caught the headmistress’ attention and lectured you in front of the class. She asked you to dye it back to your natural hair color. You argued that your hair can’t affect your studies but the headmistress was firm and asserted that it was a matter of discipline, that if you couldn’t obey authority then you’d grow up to be a badly behaved person and bad people do not go to heaven.

After the first period, Emily saw you in the hallway. You were talking to two boys and judging by their uniforms, Emily guessed they were a year older. You were too busy ranting to the boys and rolling your eyes to notice that you were leaning against Emily’s locker.

“Excuse me. I just need to get to my locker,” she spoke. You glanced at her and apologized. The three of you moved aside and got back to your conversation. After Emily dropped her books to her locker, she spoke again, “It’s not true, you know.”

Your eyes met Emily’s, bringing your conversation to a halt. “What is?” You asked.

“You’re not gonna be a bad person just because you have pink streaks on your hair.” She pursed her lips. “Or that you’re not gonna go to heaven.”

“Exactly!” The taller boy tapped Emily’s shoulder in agreement. “I told you, Y/N.” He turned to Emily. “What’s your name?”

“Emily. Emily Prentiss.”

“John Cooley.” He and Emily shook hands then he pointed to the other boy, “This is Matthew Benton.” Matthew waved his hand. “And you two have been acquainted, I suppose?”

Emily nodded.

“Thanks, Emily.” You uttered. “Do you want to join us for lunch?”

Emily smiled. “I’d love that.”

Emily learned that you’re neighbors with Matthew and John. She didn’t like hanging out with boys but they eventually grew on her and so did you. Due to being raised by her mother, Emily has always been a strict rule follower, no matter how ridiculous the rules are. But Emily found freedom in you, Matthew and John. Emily wasn’t afraid of herself, of being herself.

You were on vacation with your family during the Easter break. John was on a trip with his father. Matthew’s family devoted their time to church and stayed home. She only had Matthew to spend time with during the break.

“Matthew,” Emily gripped his arm. “Matthew, I need your help.”

“What is it?”

“I … there are two things I want to tell you but promise me, you won’t tell anybody else. Not even Y/N or John.”

Matthew looked at her with deep concern in his eyes. “You’re scaring me. What is it?”

“I think I’m in love with her.”

Matthew huffed a laugh. Even without mentioning your name, Matthew knew. It was obvious. “You think?”

“I… I don’t know. Isn’t it wrong to feel this way?”

Matthew sighed. “You know what I think? I think love is only wrong if it’s not true.”

“But … we’re both girls. That’s forbidden.”

“Emily, the world is big. You won’t be confined in that school forever.”

Emily knew that. It probably won’t be long before she has to transfer again. But if she accepted this now, if she accepted this part of herself, everything would change. And although change was the only constant thing in her life, she wasn’t ready for this one yet.

“What’s the second thing?”

“I’m pregnant.” Tears welled up in Emily’s eyes, hands shaking both from the snow and the panic coursing her veins. “I… I don’t want it. I just … I tried because I wanted to know if it was possible that I’d be attracted to a boy but I’m not.” Emily buried her face on her palms. “What’s wrong with me?”

“Nothing is wrong with you, Emily. Nothing.” Matthew hugged her tight, telling her everything’s going to be okay and promised that he will help her.

He accompanied Emily to the church for some advice. The priest told her she wouldn’t be welcomed back to the congregation if she got an abortion.

Matthew had always found reason through his faith in God. His family was devoted Catholics and so was he. But there’s only much faith he can put in God if his own people wouldn’t even at least try to understand his friend. If God’s love is unconditional, shouldn’t it manifest in his church and its people?

Four weeks into the pregnancy, Matthew found an abortion clinic. He held Emily’s hand, promising he would be waiting for her, that everything will be fine.

Everything was fine now but Matthew was gone.

Emily wondered if she told you everything, would you still accept her? Would everything be different? Would you hate her?

—

The semester ended yesterday. You were packing your things to go back home and take a well-deserved break. JJ had already gone home last night and Penelope went home with Derek, leaving you the last to go.

Well, except Emily.

Her bedroom door was open. She wasn’t packed yet and it looked like she wasn’t planning to. She had Chinese takeout boxes laying on her bed. You could hear the movie she was watching but couldn’t make out what language it was. Most probably French. Emily loved watching French movies.

It’s been weeks since you last spoke to each other. You avoided each other long enough for it to be a routine. It felt like you’ve been living with a ghost.

You took a deep breath and softly knocked on the door. Emily looked up to you and paused her eating. “Hey, what’s up?”

“I’m going home.”

“Oh. Uh, take care.”

“Thanks.” You forced a smile. “When are you leaving?”

“For what?”

“For the semester break.”

“Uh, I have no plans. My mother’s in Ukraine.”

“So you’re staying here?” Emily nodded. “The dorms will close next week though.”

“I’ll figure it out.”

You didn’t know what came on to you when you blurted out, “You can come home with me if you want. My parents just moved to our farmhouse.”

Emily stared at you for a minute, contemplating whether you’re joking or not. “Are you sure?” She asked. She was skeptical knowing what happened the last time you talked.

“I’m still mad,” You reminded her. “But I don’t want you to be alone.”

“Are you leaving now?”

“I can give you an hour to pack.”

Emily felt the tightness in her chest loosen out of the blue. Now that you’re talking to her again, she can finally breathe. “Okay.”

—

You and Emily arrived at your parents’ house just in time to watch the sunset. The view was magnificent from the driveway.

“It’s beautiful,” Emily breathed, looking up at the heavenly hues of the sky. “Was it always like this?”

“Yes,” you answered. “It’s more beautiful after the rain. Sometimes a rainbow appears.”

Emily’s eyes glistened as the sun set. For a moment, you forgot that you’re not exactly on great terms with her yet.

Your father was the first one to greet you the moment you entered the living room. He ran and lifted you in a tight hug. “I missed you, kid!”

“I missed you too, pa.”

“Who’s this?”

“Pa, this is Emily. She’s my friend.”

“Nice to meet you, sir.” Your father and Emily shook hands. “The view outside is just gorgeous.”

“Well, I hope the inside won’t disappoint you.”

Emily chuckled. “Your home is lovely, sir.”

“Well, look who it is!” Your mom quickly descended the stairs.

“Ma!” You ran to your mother and she welcomed you in a tight embrace. “I missed you.”

“Always a mama’s girl that one,” your father whispered to Emily and she grinned.

—

It only took ten minutes for your mom to figure it out.

“I know that look.” Your mother told you when you were alone in the kitchen. She was cooking your favorite stew while you were preparing the ingredients for your mother’s cookie recipe.

“What look?”

“The look.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Ma.”

“I saw the way you were looking at her through the window. It’s the same look your father and I give each other.”

“You mean cheesy and disgusting?” You smirked. To your surprise, your mother smacked the back of your head. “Ouch! What was that for?”

“Tell her you like her before I smack you again.”

“Stop saying nonsense, Ma. I don’t like her.”

“Keep telling yourself that and you’ll lose your chance.”

“I already told her,” you confessed defeatedly. “She doesn’t like me that way.”

“Are you sure? Or was she just scared?”

You shrugged. “It doesn’t matter. If she doesn't want to be with me, it’s fine.”

“She’s here with you now.”

“It’s different, Ma. She’s got nowhere to go. We’re not together together.”

“Ah, you kids.” She shook her head in disappointment. “Making everything complicated.”

“And it’s not like homophobia has gone extinct, Ma.”

Your mother sighed and pulled you for a hug. “We will love who you love, honey. I don’t fucking care about what the world says.”

You smiled against her chest. “Fucking thanks, Ma.” That earned you another smack. “You said it first!”

—

It’s been seven days at your farmhouse. Your mother and father taught you and Emily all about gardening. You were impressed by their growing orchard on the back of the house. To think that they had just retired from being federal agents four months ago and started this whole thing a month after retirement.

Emily had an easy time adjusting and getting along with your family. Aside from your parents, she also met your parents' orange cat, Denver. Denver didn’t like to cuddle with you but would snuggle with Emily. You didn’t take it personally. Emily was simply a cat person. She used to feed the stray cats outside your school when you were in Rome.

“Emily’s nice.” Your father said abruptly one night when you were on the couch with him and your mother. Emily called it a night and headed to the guest room. She was tired from all the gardening with your parents.

“She is,” your mother agreed.

“Stop it. Both of you.”

“So when did you start dating, honey?”

“Pa, we’re not dating.”

“You’re not?” Your father looked at you unbelievably. Then he turned to your mother. “They’re not?”

“You know kids these days. It’s never simple.”

“Stop talking about me as if I’m not sitting right here.”

“Our daughter is hopeless.” Your mother sighed.

—

A knock on the door startled you awake. You opened the door and Emily was standing there with bloodshot eyes. She obviously had another nightmare and from the looks of it, it was worse than what you witnessed before.

“Are you okay?” You ran your hand up and down her arm. “Do you need anything?”

“Can I stay with you tonight?”

“Sure,” you replied unhesitatingly.

You took the left side of the bed and Emily on the right. You put a long pillow in between.

“Y/N.” It was weak and soft but you heard her call.

“Yeah?”

Emily swallowed hard. “Can I … can I talk to you about it?”

You turned the night lamp back on and set it to dim light then you turned around to face Emily. She was picking on her nails, a bad habit she had since you’ve known her. You gently stroke her wrist to get her to stop. She did. She intertwined your hands together instead.

“You can tell me anything and everything, Em.” You squeezed her hand. “Even if it didn’t feel like it recently, I’m still your friend.”

“Thank you,” she whispered. “I had a dream about Matthew.” Emily let out a shaky breath. “He blamed me for what happened to him.”

“It wasn’t your fault. Matthew was a troubled boy.”

“And that’s because he met me.”

“Emily, you can’t think that.”

“But it’s true.” She insisted. “I want to tell you for so long. It’s eating me up.”

“So, tell me. I’m right here. No matter what.”

Her grip on your hand tightened as if pleading you not to run, not to leave.

“I got pregnant in Rome.” Emily confessed, almost in one breath but you caught it. Your hand still hadn’t left hers. “It was with a boy I experimented with so I could forget about the way I felt about you. I wanted to know if I could still be attracted to a boy and I tried. It happened but I felt so bad about it the next day and I never saw him again.”

“Did he force you? Did he do something you’re not comfortable with?” Emily shook her head and you sighed deeply in relief.

“I told Matthew about it during the Easter break. I asked for advice at church and the priest told me that getting abortion was a wrong thing and I won’t be welcome to come back to the congregation. But Matthew … he was angry. He started questioning his beliefs. He said that if God’s love is unconditional, why is it not manifested in the church and its people?”

“And he was right, Emily. Religious people are the most hypocritical of them all.”

“Matthew found an abortion clinic. He stayed with me until the procedure was done. He cared for me and I killed him.” Emily sobbed on the pillow separating you.

“You didn’t kill Matthew, Emily.” You reassured her, stroking her face. “Look at me. You didn’t kill Matthew. He was ill. His family was overly strict and religious. When he started questioning the congregation, his family was embarrassed. They didn’t like Matthew asking questions and having his own opinions. They didn’t listen to him. All that family cared about was worshiping the Lord and guilt tripping everyone else that didn’t align with their so-called beliefs. Matthew was different from them. He was a much better person than both his parents combined.”

“You - you’re not angry?”

You shook your head. “I just wish you had told me back then. I could’ve been there for you. Just like Matthew was.” You removed the pillow in between. You wrapped your arms around Emily and pulled her in, taking her in as close as possible to you. Whatever you felt during your fight had vanished completely. There was just Emily.

Emily, who had a hard time fitting in when she was fifteen.

Emily, who told you you’re not going to hell just because of the pink streak in your hair.

Emily, who became your best friend..

Emily, who you adored wholeheartedly and loved intensely.

Emily. Emily. Emily.

Her name was your lifeline.

“I love you, Y/N.”

It wasn’t said casually nor carelessly. It was anything but those things.

It wasn’t spur of the moment. It was the moment.

It was deliberate, careful. It was a confession, a promise.

Most of all, it was the truth. And the truth was liberating.

“I tried to stop myself from feeling this way but I can’t. I don’t want to fight it anymore. Amore mio, my heart is yours,” Emily took your hand to her chest, where her heart is caged and beating just as fast as yours were. “It’s yours to keep; yours to break; yours to make whatever of it.”

“And mine has always been yours, Emily.”

You can’t really tell since when. Loving Emily was the most natural thing. You couldn’t even remember a day that you didn’t love her since you started loving her. You just do.

Emily was tired of overthinking it. She leaned forward and closed the gap between your lips. Her hands gently cupped your cheeks. Your hand rested on her shoulder.

Emily was kissing you.

She was finally kissing you.

Passionately.

Tenderly.

Slowly.

Desperate I love you’s exchanged between both of your lips.

This couldn’t be wrong, Emily thought. Not when it was the most right Emily ever felt in her life.

#jaye writes #emily prentiss x reader #emily prentiss x female reader #emily prentiss x you #emily prentiss x y/n #emily prentiss fic #emily prentiss angst #criminal minds #criminal minds fic #criminal minds angst

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freebirdsworldburritos · 4 months

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The classism in the "music gear" scene is fucking atrocious. So many people will shit on other people for using affordable gear as a way to justify within themselves that dropping $3,000 on a guitar was a smart financial move.

About 3-4 years ago I joined a band and a month after I joined we went on some video podcast. Play a few songs, do an interview, something I've never done before but it seemed like it'd be fun.

I wasn't able to really get a word in during the interviews (stuttering/speech impediment/anxiety issues ran wild) but I was able to speak up whenever the host went around and asked us what our favorite instrument/gear brands were. Weird question, but alright buddy.

I've always been a fan of cheaper gear. You don't need all sorts of expensive shit to get the sound you want. So when he asked my answer was "Squier" and the dude just started laughing. Because who possibly would prefer one of the cheaper brands??? (Keep in mind this douche had a whole wall of the absolute worst looking collection of custom shop BC Rich guitars you've ever seen.)

Eventually he backed down once I started arguing with him about it, but his immediate elitist attitude really struck a cord in me because I see that shit all over the internet in music communities. "Oh you only like Squiers/Epiphones/Harley Bentons because you can't afford BIG BOY guitars like a $5,000 Gibson".

Fuck right off with that shit. Why would I pay thousands of dollars for a guitar when I can get something that works amazingly for me for just a few hundred dollars? The extra money I save by not dropping 4 figures on a guitar or amp goes towards paying my bills, feeding my kids, just trying to fucking live and exist.

At this point I've had to sell 99% of my music gear after over a decade of following the gear chase. I only have a "cheap" acoustic I bought several years ago for $350 and it's the best guitar I've ever had. I love my little busted neck Hummingbird to death.

I'm much happier now than I was when I had a huge assortment of pedals and guitars to choose from. The Gear Chase is designed to make you want to spend more and more money in an endless pursuit of finding that "perfect" piece of gear. Guitar companies, partnered youtubers, influencers, and all sorts of advertisement campaigns are purposefully trying to misguide you into thinking you NEED their product. It's marketing and capitalism at work and so many musicians fall for it every time. I fell for it for years before I got completely fed up with it.

Go out and gig with your Squier Bullet Strat and a cheap amp you found at a pawn shop, fuck anyone that gives you shit for it. Go ahead and record with whatever you have at your disposal. Put out an album that's comprised of Voice Memos you recorded on your phone with just an acoustic and your voice.

Music, like any art, is about way more than what you used to get there. It's how you express yourself that really matters. Don't listen to the elitists and marketers telling you the only way you can authentically reach your creative vision is by buying their snake oil.

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vladco-tech-official · 5 months

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Good afternoon, Vladco Staff!

Next week, we will be hosting a job fair thats open for anybody to attend. If you are approached by a curious potential-employee, please be warm and respectful. We. We really need all the help we can get.

However, if you see a 5'5 teenage boy with black hair and blue eyes who name rhymes with Fanny Benton, please resort to pelting him with the Vladco mandated 'icky teenager away' water balloons. I am somewhat confident they are only filled with water, however when asked- Vlad Masters simply replied with "Maybe :)" before leaving.

We would advise that you avoid any potential friendly fire.

#unreality #danny phantom #workplace announcements

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lau219 · 2 months

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Why Deny?

Part 12

Previous part here

…………………………………………………………………………….

Eventually, they got around to actually focusing on work for a while. Leonard relayed to Y/N the conversation he’d heard at the bar during the party the other night, and that it seemed like, along with Simon Foster, there were a couple other people who weren’t happy with Charles Benton. It was possible that Charles was just a shared complaint they all had, but something told Leonard and Y/N that these people were also working with Foster in some way on whatever backwards shit he was involved in.

Did it involve Charles, and was he some kind of target? It was too soon to tell. However, additional information Leonard had got from Charles on his run back to Langley revealed that Foster had not only been declined a promotion, but that Benton had actually slightly demoted him due to less than satisfactory performance, and his salary had been cut quite a bit.

Leonard had asked Charles to also run the name of the guy who’d been talking to Foster and whose information he’d written down at the party. The guy was an employee at the U.S. Embassy in Venezuela, but his status was lower than Foster’s, and his record was completely clean. To add to the confusion, the piece of paper that Y/N had snatched off Foster contained nothing more than a series of numbers and letters. Obviously, it had to mean something, but they hadn’t yet figured out what.

“Do you think Charles is in any kind of danger?” Y/N asked Leonard as she handed him back one of the files he’d brought back with him from Langley. It was possible that whatever Foster was involved in had nothing to do with Charles whatsoever, but she was still concerned for the man who she viewed as somewhat of a fatherly figure.

Leonard smiled.

“He said he knew you’d be worried about him, and to tell you, ‘Relax, kid.’”

Y/N smiled back, shaking her head.

“They ran Foster’s computer the other day, and nothing pertaining to Benton came up,” Leonard continued, “so he didn’t want anymore attention focused on worrying about him when there’s no sign Foster’s targeting him.”

“That doesn’t mean anything, necessarily. He could just be really good at covering his tracks,” Y/N said.

“I know,” Leonard said. “But there’s nothing more we can do until we get back there on Thursday. Now that we have access to his computer, we can do our own research then. They haven’t found anything new on him since their original suspicions came up, but there’s definitely something going on.”

Y/N nodded in understanding as she stood up from the small sofa.

“Maybe it’s correct that Charles isn’t a target. And maybe whatever Foster was involved in has already wrapped up. Since they haven’t found anything new on him, perhaps it was just a one and done thing after he’d accessed whatever he kept visiting Records and Security for.”

“Possibly,” Leonard replied, also standing, “but even if that’s the case, we still need to find out what he was doing, and if those other guys were involved. And also what kind of information he might have shared, and with who.”

“Well, unfortunately, I don’t think I’m gonna be able to get anything else from him. He’s not going to talk to me anymore,” Y/N said as she looked at Leonard with a half smile. “I think you sank that ship when you hit him.”

“I don’t see any downside to that,” Leonard replied.

“Oh, really?” she said. “And did you tell Benton about your little brawl? Because he was expecting me to charm something out of Foster. What am I supposed to do now?”

“You got the paper from him,” Leonard replied, his face serious. “Benton knows about it; that’s enough.”

“Did you mention that you hit him?”

“I didn’t hit him,” Leonard replied, not even bothering to try to sound convincing. “He tripped.”

Y/N smiled knowingly as she moved and stopped in front of him.

“What exactly happened there, anyway? You never told me.”

“Nothing noteworthy,” Leonard replied, shaking his head.

“You punched him in the face,” Y/N countered.

“Long overdue,” he replied.

Y/N gave him a look, and had the intention to press further, but Leonard reached down and nudged her, placing his hand in the small of her back and guiding her towards the door.

“Let’s go; we’re going out to dinner,” he said.

“No, can’t,” she quickly replied, halting in front of him. “I’m busy.”

Leonard looked at her and raised an eyebrow as she turned around to face him, but then she gave him a coy smile.

“Oops, sorry,” she said, leaning in and giving him a quick peck on the lips. “Force of habit.”

————————————————

The next three days had them attending numerous lengthy meetings and presentations along with dozens of other CIA staff, one of which was Simon Foster. He made eye contact with them only once upon first seeing them, and then proceeded to keep his bruised face focused on his laptop for the remainder of the time. As they occasionally observed him, nothing he did roused any suspicion, but then again, they couldn’t expect much when they were in such an open environment.

But the open environment didn’t stop Leonard. Sitting next to each other during the first meeting, Y/N nearly jumped out of her chair when he slipped his hand onto her thigh beneath the table and glided it under her skirt to skim his fingers over her through her panties. He smiled to himself as he massaged her thigh, the question he’d always wondered about finally being answered — thigh-highs.

After she’d composed herself, Y/N had discreetly gripped Leonard’s hand under the table and shooed it away, but that didn’t stop him. Finally, she decided to teach him a lesson, and she slowly palmed him under the table for the last 10 minutes of the meeting. She laughed to herself when, as a result, he had to stay seated at the table for 5 minutes after the meeting had ended, and she winked at him as she exited the large room with the others while he remained at the conference table, pretending to be getting a call on his cell. At the next meeting, she intentionally sat herself away from him, to which Leonard gave her a look that made her heart skip a beat. They glanced at each other multiple times throughout the meeting, and when it finally ended for an hour-long lunch break, the two of them quickly walked back to the hotel and took the elevator up to their room, practically falling through the door as they raced to undress each other between kisses.

———————————————

“So how is this going to work, exactly, when we get back to Langley?” Y/N asked Leonard that night as he closed the laptop and rose from the desk.

“The same way it’s been working so far,” he replied as he walked over to the bed, removing his clothes and climbing into the bed beside her in his boxer briefs.

“Hardly,” Y/N replied, looking at him. “We can’t just be sneaking off, or having sex in your office every day at lunchtime.”

“Why not?” Leonard asked her with a devilish smile. “That was my plan.”

She rolled her eyes and shoved him.

“We have to be smart about this,” she said. “It doesn’t matter if it’s the CIA; it may as well be high school when it comes to gossip. You’re a superior, and I refuse to suddenly be labeled a ladder-climbing whore.”

Leonard pulled a face.

“That’s a bit extreme, don’t you think?”

Y/N took a deep breath.

“The point is, you’re untouchable. Frankly, all the guys will likely be giving you a pat on the back. It wouldn’t exactly work out the same for me.”

Leonard pulled her closer before answering.

“We can be as discreet as you want to be,” he said. “No one has to know anything.”

Y/N nodded briefly, and then a small smile appeared on her face.

“What?” Leonard asked.

“You know, the upside to this is that we already know everything about each other.”

“Not true,” Leonard replied, shaking his head. “I still have secrets.”

“Like what?” Y/N asked him with raised eyebrows.

“I hate country music,” he said.

She couldn’t stop laughing.

————————————————

Over the next month, they resumed work in essentially the same capacity as they had prior to the trip. Among other work they now had to resume, they continued to work together to monitor Foster. As Y/N predicted, he didn’t try to contact her again, and the piece of paper she’d gotten off him was currently still a mystery. They were awaiting additional information on Foster’s connection in Venezuela, and also were working with Benton to coordinate a time to send Foster away on some bullshit overnight trip so that they could search his apartment. They’d need to be sure he’d be gone somewhere where an unexpected return home wasn��t possible, and also so that they’d have enough time to be sure to leave everything exactly as they found it.

During the day-to-day, however, Y/N made an effort to be especially mindful of not spending more time around Leonard than necessary, and avoiding any contact that could be interpreted as intimate. It wasn’t easy, but she was determined not to let any rumors start. They’d been almost completely successful at staying away from each other during work, except for one afternoon in Leonard’s office, where what was supposed to be just a quick check-in on something turned into sex on his desk when he’d placed a kiss on the back of her neck after closing the office door.

“Never again,” Y/N had said to him as she’d tucked her blouse back in her skirt.

“Never say never,” Leonard replied with a triumphant and satisfied smirk as he re-did his tie. She’d glared at him and shoved him back down into his chair before leaving his office.

They spent every evening together, and pretty soon, Y/N was practically living at his place. It was an interesting experience for them both – Y/N because it was such a drastic change from just a month prior, when she’d been so determined to continue to resist Leonard despite how she felt about him, and Leonard because not only did he finally have her, but it was a lifestyle shift. Before Y/N had come along, he’d had casual relationships, if you could call them that, but they were brief and mostly just to scratch an itch, and he never gave any of those women consideration for something serious. Frankly, it wasn’t something that previously crossed his mind often at all. But with Y/N, he found that changing.

But another change was unknowingly coming.

A little over a month later, Leonard had had to travel for another commitment for work, and they’d been completely apart for a week. When they’d spoke on the phone a few times while he’d been away, he’d sensed something was off, but Y/N assured him everything was fine, other than that she was coming down with something. They’d messaged back and forth throughout, and when Leonard got to work the day after he’d returned, he looked for her, but she wasn’t in her office. Almost as if on cue, he received a message from her, and he pulled out his phone to read it.

Meet me in the meeting room on the 8th floor.

Leonard smiled to himself. It was a smaller conference room that was hardly ever used, and he was dying to get his hands on her. He made it up to the meeting room, but when he arrived, she wasn’t there yet. Standing in front of the floor to ceiling windows, he turned around when he heard the door open several moments later, Y/N entering and quietly closing the door behind her. She gave him a small smile, and he immediately walked over to her, pulling her against him and planting his lips on hers.

Y/N responded, wrapping her arms around his neck as she kissed him back, but quickly, she retracted, trying to speak as Leonard moved his mouth to her neck.

“I missed you, doll,” he said as he tried to slip his hand under her blouse.

“I missed you, too,” she replied quietly. But when Leonard had his hand on her bra clasp, she stopped him.

“Leonard, wait,” she said, grabbing his hand and pulling it down. He lifted his head from her neck to speak, quickly looking at her.

“No one’s going to see us,” he said before he resumed kissing her. But she leaned into him for only a moment before trying to push him away again.

“Leonard, wait. Stop. I need to tell you something.”

Leonard heard the tone in her voice, and he pulled his head away from her neck and looked at her, the tension in her body obvious. He furrowed his brow in concern.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

Y/N took a deep breath, looking down at the floor and completely exhaling, then slowly raising her head again, looking at him for a moment before she finally spoke.

“I’m pregnant.”

Part 13

@nyxxie-pooh @febris-amatoria @xsweetcatastrophe @alltoowellbeneaththemangotree @hannibellector @devotedlyshadowytheorist @aphroditeslover11 @natalie--rushman @garrison-girl-08 @fuseburner @neonpurplestars89-blog

#leonard miller #leonard miller fic #leonard miller smut #leonard miller x reader #leonard miller x female reader #cillian murphy #cillian x fem!reader #cillian fic #cillian murphy smut #cillian smut #18+ only

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annymation · 3 months

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Kingdom of Wishes- A "Wish" Rewrite AUs

AUs are Alternate Universes, new ways to look at how a story could've gone if a few things were slightly different, it's a fun writing exercise to take your story and change it up a bit to see how the characters would react to these changes.

So I did that with my wish rewrite, and I came up with some pretty fun scenarios.

(Warning: that’s a lie, some scenarios here are not fun at all)

So let's begin:

Asha the Star & Aster the Human

That's exactly what it sounds like, Asha and Aster switch places!

In this scenario, Aster is an orphan whose mother was a musician, that's right, musician, not an artist

His grandfather used to say his mother could sing so beautifully and write songs so engaging that people could see whole stories form in their heads, she inspired people to imagine whole new worlds

That was Aster's dream, to write beautiful melodies, sing a song that could inspire people, see beyond reality

So same things that happened with Asha happen to him, he defies the royals (Who also change in this AU, we have Amaya as a queen regnant, so she's above in power than Magnifico, she being the one who has blue blood while he got married in, and their personalities switch. To me that's the funniest thing, like can you imagine Amaya as the drama queen that get's the whole spotlight and has anger outbursts sometimes like the Red Queen and Maleficent? While Mag is in the background just being calm, mysterious and I guess having a fatherly persona? What a twisted vision)

Anyway so they take Aster's wish, change it up yada yada yada Aster goes to make a wish upon a star and we get Star Asha babeeeyyy

Now design wise, Aster as a human would have brown hair, while Asha, as all wishing stars, would have blonde hair, with this hair style

Loooooong blonde braids that flow in the air constantly like Princess Celestia hair from MLP, and speaking of princess, yeah, she dresses like one too.

Imagine being human Aster here, you wish upon a star and suddenly a beautiful magical princess with gorgeous flowing hair shows up to help you, I would've died

So anyway, Asha has a very energetic and optimistic personality, and much like Aster was in Kow, she's fascinated by earth

When they come up with a plan to inspire the people of Rosas, Asha's idea is to make people draw, express how they feel, make them reflect if they're really happy with this system

Aster of course thinks that's not a good idea at first but she convinces him, so the whole arc of them being found out at the plaza happens yada yada yada let's cut to the good stuff

Instead of giving Aster a magic pencil, Asha enchants his's grandfather's mandolin, so Aster can play beautiful songs that can magically bring anything he imagines to life

So then we get their "At All Cost"... But I actually think Star Asha would sing a different song, she'd sing something like this:

youtube

This song just gives me major Kow! Asha vibes, and I'd love if Asha was played by Denee Benton cause I'm a huge fan.

And then the story proceeds as usual and we get to the climax, where instead of singing This Wish Reprise he'd sing something more like this:

youtube

Once again, I'm here to say I love Jordan Fisher and I can't imagine anyone better than him to voice Aster.

So yeah he'd have a very dramatic song where instead of using his guitar (That the queen broke) he uses only his voice and the last bit of Asha's magic to defeat the royals, along with everyone's hopes on his side.

Sooo yeah Asha later turns into a human thanks to true love's kiss, her hair turns dark brown, the end!

I like exploring this one because it shows how Asha and Aster are different with her being an artist and him being a musician, human Aster would be very different than the Aster we know though, being absolutely focused on the task at hand of saving his people, so Asha would help him loosen up a bit and have hope things would be better.

Kids AU

Okay so this one is more of a joke, but like... Kingdom of Wishes... But it's Ponyo, only genderbent

Basically I asked myself "What if Asha wished upon Aster when she was a kid?" well, when she was a kid, so was Aster.

So we'd have a story of a little 6 year old becoming friends with her wishing star. While her grandpa Sabino, still alive and very old, tries to hide this star and protect his spunky granddaughter from the king and queen that are after Aster

Of course the royals would have a harder time finding out who could've wished upon a star since they don't know who Asha is as a kid

But on the other hand, Asha and Aster would be a lot more naive and reckless, Aster would tell Asha "Hey! The king and queen are really mean! They change the wishes, wanna defeat them together" and Asha would be like "YEAH!" and off they go put themselves in danger

Don't think Magnifico would go easy on Aster just because he's a toddler, oh no, he'd drain all this child's power as soon as he caught his hands on them, which is why Sabino would be having a panic attack trying to keep them safe.

But what's really cute about this scenario is just imagining kid Aster interacting with the world, using his magic to play with Asha, and of course Sabino being a protective grandpa.

Bad Ending AUs

You guys know me, of course I have a whole section for not one but TWO bad endings lmao I'm so evil.

What If Asha's Cursed Wish Was Granted?

Yup, remember Asha's cursed wish? That would turn her into a obedient princess that would follow Magnifico and Amaya without question? Remember that wish? Yeah what if THAT happened hahah

Anyway, I thinks it's best if I just show you how that'd play out (Warning, the angst is STRONG in this one):

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"That's right, now hold still my dear, this will feel just like waking up from a pleasant dream." The king said as he lifted up her "wish" to grant it.

Asha felt herself frozen in fear, she wanted to speak up, but the fear of what could happen to her if she did outweighed her her strength to fight back.

She could only watch as the bubble popped and became a swirl of green magic enveloping all around her. Asha felt herself change, and not only because her clothes began to magically morph into a beautiful dress... She felt herself change from the inside out, starting with her mind.

Her desire to run away was muffled by a new desire to stay still as the king asked her to. But Asha knew she had to fight back because- Why did she have to fight back? This is what she wanted, to fit in and make people happy, now she finally could, thanks to Magnifico- Asha heard a voice that sounded like her's fill up her mind, popping any idea of resistance like bubbles- Why resist at all? It's easier to give up- She couldn't give up, she couldn't lose herself- But she doesn't even know who she is, and everyone tells her she's like a princess anyway, don't they? Her saba used to say so, her friends, even Aster said she's beautiful like a princess-... Why isn't he here?

She felt her eyes welling up with tears, realizing how helpless and alone she was. Asha knew she couldn't hold on to her consciousness for much longer, as the king's magic promised to make all her pain go away, leaving only bliss, her own freewill was fading away. But even then, a little bit of her is still fighting, tightly clinging onto the last semblance of thought she has left... Before it suddenly slips, and everything is gone… She is gone.

... She did feel like she woke up from a dream, the king was right, as he always is.

The magic that was surrounding her disappears, fully absorbed into Asha's very being. She's now fully transformed, wearing a princess gown, her hair braided and pulled up into a bun that resembled a rose.

... A single tear ran down her left eye, but the cheering crowd couldn't see it. All they saw was her smile, a blissful, carefree smile plastered on her face.

...

Aster ran back to the plaza as fast as he could. But once the star arrived there... Asha was gone, and so were the royals. The people were walking around commenting about what just happened... He heard people mumbling about how kind the king and queen were for adopting an orphan girl to be their princess...

All it took was one moment, one moment of distraction, one moment that Aster turned away from her... And he lost her... But they wouldn't give up, never, as long as he's on this earth, he will grant her wish, her true wish, no matter the cost.

The star didn't even think twice, revealing his true form in front of everyone, and flying off to the castle to look for Asha.

He looked through all the windows, all the many rooms of the castle, until he stumbles upon a room on the west wing tower, and in there, sleeping peacefully on a comfortable bed, he saw-

"ASHA!" The star screamed, using his magic to unlock the window, he got in and quickly shook her to wake her up "Come on! We gotta get you outta here!"

The princess rose up from the bed, gracefully stretching her arms as she did so, blinking her now unfocused eyes, that if you look closely you could see a small and faint green light sparkling in the center of her pupils.

She smiled at the star as if they were paying her a visit "Greetings Aster, so wonderful to see you-"

Aster grabbed her by the shoulders and just shook her back and forth "SNAP OUT OF IT! This isn't you! You're stronger than his magic, I know you are! You can fight it! Come on, Asha, look at me!" Aster gently places a hand under her chin to make her look at him in the eyes, he can't see her spark anymore... But he still reaches out to her "You wished upon me because you wanted to SAVE Rosas from them, remember? That's the whole reason I'm here, to help you." they give her a bittersweet smile, even though he's filled with sadness.

The girl giggled, in any other context it would be an adorable sound... But it just filled Aster with dread, seeing how his words weren't getting through to her at all. But nothing could've prepared Aster to what she said next "... Then where were you when I needed?"

... Those words pierced through him like a dagger, the star was speechless, now just staring at her, filled with sorow

"Indeed, where were you?"

Aster froze upon hearing the king's voice coming from the other side of the room. He turned around to see both Magnifico and Amaya sitting on comfortable chair next to a table with tea, if Aster could smell he would've probably felt the sent earlier.

"You took so long we were starting to wonder if you just flew back to the sky" Amaya said before sipping on her tea cup

Aster tried to escape through the window, but before he could reach it, he was trapped by the king's magic.

Magnifico and Amaya laughed as the star struggled with all his might to free himself from the king's magic, to which the king just jeered "I suppose a princess was of use to us after all, serving as bait to catch you, little prince"

And just like that, Aster is all alone at the villains mercy.

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I tricked yall with a false sense of security starting with two wholesome AUs only to then drop the most heart crushing stuff I've written in a WHILE.

Also thank you @gracebeth3604 for inspiring me to write that scene of Asha losing her conscience as the spell took hold of her, when you helped me write that nightmare sequence in chapter 8... So yall can blame Grace for this /j

Aster Turns Himself Into A Blackhole

What a title huh? Anyway, I've said plenty of times how Aster is very inspired by Rapunzel, so I wondered, what if that "Wither and decay" song from the Tangled series affected Aster the same way that it affected Rapunzel?

I didn't quite explore much Aster's frustration with the fact he couldn't hurt the king and queen the same way they hurt Asha, that's kind of a more internal frustration he doesn't show much, but it proves how human Aster is, to the point that he feels human emotions such as vengeance

But as we say here in Brazil: "Revenge is never complete, it kills the soul and poisons it."

So... Let's see if Aster choose a darker path, after he thought that he lost Asha for good in the climax.

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Aster was chained to the floor, all he could do was watch in horror the king drop Asha and all their friends off the tower.

... She was gone...

Just like that, Aster couldn't keep her safe, like he promised he would.

Without her, Aster felt his world growing dark, his own light was fading away. There was no hope for him, no hope for Rosas, no hope of granting her wish... So... Aster had nothing... So he had nothing left to lose.

... The star remembered once listening to a song, a song that stars sing when they're at the very end of their long, LOOOOONG lives. After all, everything must come to an end. The lyrics of this song were actually an incantation, a spell of death that allowed a star to snuff their own light away, turning themselves into... Something else... Something a lot more destructive.

The stars always warned him to NEVER sing that melody. And fly away as fast as he could if he ever heard some other star singing it... Aster never knew fully why, all they said was that the song would make him dangerous...

Well then... That was just what Aster wanted to be right now.

Suddenly, Aster felt the touch of the queen's hand, snapping them out of their thoughts. She lifted his scowling face, to give him a snark comment before they began to drain away his power "What's with the grimace, my dear? Is there something you wish to say?"

And so... The star began to sing.

"🎶... Wither and decay...🎶" Aster's voice was haunting, not at all as warm and lively as it always was when he sang... This was different.

Magnifico was previously looking down on his people, but the sound of those lyrics made the king turn around in cold sweat... He knew that spell.

"🎶...End this destiny...🎶" Aster continued to sing, his eyes were closed, and his face began to contort with discomfort. The star felt himself... Change.

The queen just raised an eyebrow and mocked "What's this? Trying to put us to sleep with a lullaby? hahaha *cough cough* haha" She didn't seem to pay much mind to her own coughing

The king minded it a lot though. He could see the roses on Amaya's hair begin to wither rapidly.

Magnifico's voice was trembling as he ran to his wife "A- Amaya-"

"🎶...Break these earthly chains...🎶" Aster opened his eyes... They were completely dark.

The queen's blood ran cold "wh-what ON EARTH-" she feels herself being pulled away from the star by her husband.

"ENOUGH! I ORDER YOU TO STOP!" The king commands, using his magic to cover Aster's mouth with glowing vines similar to the ones holding him down... But the star... Or rather, whatever Aster is becoming, is not weak to forbidden magic.

Aster breaks free from Magnifico's magic, leaving the two royals mortified.

"🎶…And set the spirit free…🎶" Aster didn't even react to the fact he was free, in fact, they didn't seem to notice the world around him at all, lost in their despair, all they could do was sing, floating above the ground. Tears kept running down his now inky black eyes.

Their hair changes from a yellow and lively flame to a dark and slowly shifting shadow. The star dust flowing out of their cape disappears, now his cape hides only dark nothingness under it. The light coming from the brooch bellow his neck now resembles a vortex... A blackhole.

"Magnus... I thought you said this thing was harmless" The queen is clinging to her king, she begins to feel... Strangely lightheaded, like she’s about to pass out.

"I- I didn't think the star would do this- *cough!*" The king feels a pain in his chest, his legs growing weaker. He stumbles forward "We- we must leave NOW"

But Aster had other plans for them, the former star finally moved. In the blink of an eye the king and him were face to face. With one swift motion Aster took the king's staff and threw it away from the edge of the tower.

The royals were shaking in fear, the entity was towering over them, dark inky tears still flooding his expressionless face.

As a last resort, Magnus desperately tries to reason with them "He-hehe now now Aster, let's talk about this, alright? You wouldn't actually want to-"

"🎶Take what has been hurt🎶" The haunting melody continues.

The king and queen kneeled down. They felt weaker by the second, the queen was whimpering and the king was gasping for air. It was becoming hard to breathe, hard to move, hard to think. They were both holding on to each other, even though they could barely hold on to their own lives.

"🎶Grant them no mercy🎶" Aster was looming over the two mortals, staring at them as they withered away. Aster felt himself grow stronger, for he was slowly but surely absorbing their very life essence... The corners of his mouth started to lift up slightly.

The two villains collapsed on the ground, shaking and wincing in pain.

"🎶Bend and break the reigns🎶" He was previously emotionless, but now, seeing them like this, Aster is consumed by a feeling he never thought he could feel before... It was ruthlessness. He was enjoying seeing the life drain away from them, the same way they wanted to drain his life away before... In a way, Aster understands them now.

The power to take was really different from the power to give... But if felt just as good, if not better.

"🎶And set the spirit free... The spirit free~...🎶" Aster finishes the lyrics, looking at the two lifeless bodies below him with twisted glee.

... Asha arrived at the top of the tower, as she never actually died, she managed to save herself and her friends with her magic pencil, and with it, she made her way back to Aster, hopeful that she could save him in an nick of time

"Aster! I'm here! Are you o-" She felt her heart stop, her whole body frozen in place when she saw the corpses of the two royals laying down... Beneath a floating figure that looks like Aster... But she knows that's not him "What... What have you done?" Asha takes a few steps back

He doesn't seem at all surprised to see her alive and well, simply tilting his head to the side as he floats towards her "What I had to. I mean, that's what you wished for, right? To defeat them." The creature spoke calmly, but with a twisted smile spread across their features.

"No-not like THIS!" She was trembling, seeing her own reflection on the dark pools that he now has for eyes "A-Aster please, this isn't funny, turn back to normal, NOW"

"Hmmmmm I don't think I can" They shrug, while drying the tears that were previously falling from his eyes "And even if I could, why should I? When like this, I can actually keep you safe"

"... Keep me safe from what?" She felt tears welling up on the corner of her eyes, Aster couldn't really be gone, right?

He embraced her, but it wasn't the same warm and secure embrace Asha fell in love with... He was holding her tightly, not letting her run away.

"From anyone who tries to keep us apart, of course." The blackhole whispered lovingly, but that gave Asha no comfort, it only cemented her fear, sending chills down her spine "And as long as your wish doesn't come true... As long as aaaaall those people down there aren't free... I'll be able to stay here... Loving you... Forever." They sound more and more deranged with every word.

Asha felt trapped, in the arms of the one she once loved.

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I bet ya'll weren't expecting evil Aster... Welp! Evil Aster is a thing now.

This is probably the darkest thing I’ve ever wrote for real, don’t let me do this again yall

@uva124 actually sneaked a little drawing of this Aster in one of her sketches here

So yeah! These were the alternate AUs! Two wholesome ones, and two very heavy with no comfort ones, perfectly balanced as all things should be.

Hope you guys forgive me after this hahaha see you guys next time! Bye!

Thank you for reading!

#Youtube #wish rewrite #wish reimagined #kingdom of wishes #wish 2023 #wish #wish movie #wish star #wish au #disney wish #wish disney

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