#Seriously this shit is so stupid I love it all

[borathae]

BTS Reaction to: Cock Warming

Gender: neutral

Warnings: Smut, additional warnings per member, sidenote: girlcock=strap or trans girl dick so this is truly for everyone

Wordcount: 2k

a/n: big shoutout to anonie. This one’s for you 🤪 love you besties as much as i love cock warming 💗

Namjoon

Warnings: consensual somnophilia, implied creampies

Receiving 

Needs it when you are half asleep. It’s summer, the bedroom is hot and your bodies are naked. Your back is facing him, you are so close to falling asleep and Namjoon can’t stop looking at you. He isn’t normally like this with you, but his eyes can’t stop brushing over your middle and what lies there for him. Your perfect hole. So sweet and soft and empty. Namjoon goes a little crazy not being inside, fuck, he needs you tonight. His cock is already hard from the view of you, brushing against you as he rolls over to spoon you. You purr sleepily, chasing him instinctively which only makes it harder for him not to want to be inside.

“Baby, can I warm my cock in you?” 

You’d croak a sleepy hum of consent, whimpering softly when moments later, he sinks his lubey girth into you. Your sleepy hips try to wiggle but he stops you.

“Relax, just relax. Let me do it at my pace, okay?”

You fall asleep only warming his cock, but wake up with a cum creamed hole, begging Namjoon for the details. 

Giving 

Definitely also likes it when you do it to him half asleep. But his favourite is during cuddle dates in front of the TV. You are sharing a blanket, spooning with your pants off. You are inside him balls deep while Namjoon is slowly getting more and more riled up. The movie is good and you are both honestly watching, but The Needy works in easy ways. It’s a lot hotter to have you inside him than Namjoon anticipated for. Halfway through the second half of the movie, he’d crane his neck and call your attention by kissing your jawline.

“Hm?” 

“I can’t concentrate, please just…”

“Fucking finally, I thought you’d never ask. I’ve been literally losing my mind for an hour”, you confess and thrust into him, dragging a guttural moan out of him.

Seokjin

Warnings: subby!Seokjin, sex while he games, finger sucking, nipple play

Receiving

This is a game to him. Quite literally. You and he made a bet. If he manages to beat this silly PC game while you are on his cock, he gets treated to a day at the amusement park. The only rule? He is not allowed to move or move you, otherwise he loses and you are the one getting an all expenses paid amusement park day. He thinks it easy, until he realises that your warm, wet walls are certain brain scramblers. He messes up constantly and blames you for it. 

“What’s the matter? Can’t beat the game?” you ask, making it just that teeny bit harder for him by clenching down on him. Just enough that he has to inhale sharply.

“Obviously, you can see how shit-”

“Careful, no cursing.”

He purses his pillowy lips, glaring at you, “aren’t you already doing enough by sitting on me? I can’t even curse now?” 

You’d giggle, “nope.”

“Baby seriously, don’t laugh I’ll- fuck! I fucking lost again!”

“Language, baby.” 

“I'll give you language once I win and, and pound you on this stupid…couch…jump, let’s go! Yes! That’s it Seokjin, keep jumping!” 

Receiving

What if I’m boring and I’ll say that it’s the same scenario but flipped? He’d be the one sitting on you and having to beat a game while you are inside him to the fucking hilt. Definitely a reverse cowboy situation so you can inspect his stuffed hole or fondle with his dick or nipples. You know, just for extra hurdles. Bonus points that when he starts cursing, you’ll simply silence him by stuffing his mouth with your fingers and making him suck them. Oh lord, he will not win any game that day. He’ll end up doggy style on the ground while you pound him stupid in front of the “You Lose” screen. Afterwards you take him for ice cream and a calm carousel ride where he’ll say something stupid like “You pound me like a maniac and now you’re taking me out for ice cream? I feel like your whore for real.” 

“Just shut up and eat your ice cream, you stupid loser you.”

Yoongi

Warnings: switch!Yoongi, studio sex, whiny!Yoongi, slight somnophilia

Receiving

It definitely happens when he is “busy”. He’s been holed up in his studio for far too long and has been unknowingly neglecting you. You are always welcome in his studio, so he definitely wouldn’t complain about your visit. You are also always welcome on his lap, so he wouldn’t comment on it when you make yourself comfortable on it. He would definitely say something though once you start kissing his neck and grind on him, but overall, he’d act nonchalant. He’d probably even act like this once you really sink him into you. Only a sharp intake of breath lets you know that he likes it. Maybe he’d also purr deeply and give your butt a squeeze. He definitely enjoys it when you sink him totally soft so he can grow hard inside you. He wouldn’t let it show, but he loves it when you visit him for some cock warming. You are so warm and wet and soft around him, Yoongi’s obsessed with it. Definitely the type of guy to hold out for long, but to really be rough with you once his composure breaks. 

Giving 

Hates it. Hates it. Hates it. Not actually, but he hates it because he wants to move but isn’t allowed to :( that’s so stupid! He’d try to warm your heart with neck kisses and breathy begs and promises of oral sex. But to no avail, he is ordered to sit still and be patient. Yoongi hates being patient :( Definitely the type of guy to try and get away with hip wiggles, which earns him a spank. He’ll complain and whine and say that he doesn’t like it, but he is leaking so much and squeezing you so needily that his lies are so obvious. He loves it, there is no denying that. 100% the kinda guy that gets so riled up by it that he cums within seconds once you really move, begging you to keep going even if his little hole is tight.

Also sidenote: sometimes when he is feeling needy for a stuffed hole but he is too sleepy to move, he asks you to cock warm him as he falls asleep. He wakes up with a raging boner and the most desperate case of The Hornys the next morning though. Definitely bounces on you that morning even if he’s normally a pillow prince.

Hoseok

Warnings: creampie, multiple rounds

Receiving

Post nut, balls deep, sweaty and hot. That’s his favourite. He’d cock warm you to make sure that his release stays oh so deep inside you. He also loves it because you are twitching and throbbing from your afterglow. Sidenote: Growing soft inside you is his ultimate afterglow. Wow, it’s almost just as good as cumming inside you. Yep, in conclusion cock warming mostly happens post sex with him as a way of still staying connected and keeping up the feeling of being inside a little longer.  Also, don’t tell anyone but it’s secretly also the perfect scheme to start a round two (or three). 

Giving 

I think post nut cock warming is also his favourite to receive. He’d like the feeling of his tightened walls and rim clenching down on you. If you filled him with a good load, he likes that cock warming keeps it deep inside. It definitely happens during spooning so he can hold your hand and talk about the sex with you. It will be nice at first, but then rile him up again.

“I think I can go again.”

“Are you sure? I’ve been pretty rough with you”, you are teasing him and he knows it.

“Please don’t tease, just more please.”

“More. It’s always more with you, Hobi. That’s the second time you are asking for more.”

When your hips finally begin moving again, Hoseok literally moans his words with a scrunched face.

“Not my fault I love your dick so much.”

“Mhm, you’re way too obsessed.”

Jimin

Warnings: Dom!Jimin, dirty talk

Receiving

First a disbelieved chuckle, “are we really doing this now, baby? Fuck, fine so fine with me.” 

Then another, slightly offended, chuckle when he realises what you are doing, “you’re fucking kidding. Baby, you know that I can’t control myself with you. Stop messing with me.” 

When he realises that you are not going to move, he’d try to act tough, but fucking fuck, his ever increasing breath and rapidly hardening cock is going to give him away.

He’ll end up begging in a rasp and with his fingers dimpling your buttocks, “if you’re not gonna tell me to move in the next five seconds, I’ll take matters into my own hands and fuck you into obedience.” 

Why did I make him so dangerous? Bro is a cutiepie I swear, but he gets a little feral when you warm his cock. 

Giving

Dominant af. If you think he is going to be whiny once he is warming your length, think again. He knows his hole is tight and oh so good and he is going to fucking make you beg for it even if you tried to make HIM needy. Will either randomly come up to you and sink down on you, giving you hopes of a spontaneous fuck or he’ll do it in bed when you’re spooning. No matter, you’ll end up begging him to move please, please, please. Will definitely be very dirty mouthed once you are moving, telling you to keep fucking him so rough and hard despite knowing you’re so goddamn desperate and weak from the cock warming.

Taehyung

Warnings: switch!Taehyung, hand stuff

Receiving

Very nonchalant but a tease. Cockwarming either happens to “shut your needy whines up” or because you wanna get him needy. In both situations, you will come out of this situation way needier than Tae. Definitely the kinda guy that begins feeling you up while his other hand is busy working. I can even see his long fingers touching and playing with your sensitive spots. Like: if you have a pussy, he’d be tracing your folds or rim or rub your clit and if you have a dick, he’d trace your rim or fondle your balls or trace your cockhead. Obviously all nonchalantly and as “if he wasn’t doing it”. You’d end up being the one begging him 100% and he definitely fucks you into multiple states of ecstasy.

Giving

BOY THINKS HE CAN HANDLE IT BUT HE CAN’T. Give this big tease a taste of his own medicine. Remember that he is the biggest denier when you’re on his dick, so make him fucking needy as revenge, seriously do it. He’d be cocky and playful at first, but then reality starts to sink in. He is meant to sit here and not bounce on your amazing, girthy length. Oh fuck. Tae is getting restless, squirmy and vocal. “I think it’s been long enough, don’t you think?” 

“Nope, not even in your dreams.”

“I’m getting a cramp, I need to move I swear.”

“You are not cramping, stop whining.”

“Please, I can’t do this anymore.”

“Too bad, I’m not done yet.”

Would definitely become so loud and slutty once you really fuck him, head thrown back and back arched as he screams your name and bounces on you hard and fast.

Jungkook

Warnings: switch!Jungkook, strength kink, tears, praise

Receiving

Either a whiny and pouty sub or a demanding and touchy Dom. I can see both situations with him. It all depends on the time of day. If he’s busy working but you’re needy, he’d sit you on his dick and tell you to be good for him. He’d keep touching you innocently and kissing you all while his cock slowly throbs inside you. Lots of praise as well because he likes that you clench for him when he calls you pretty words. He’d be okay at first, but then get needy too, which results in him either wordlessly standing up with you still on his dick to carry you to bed for a rough fuck or in him trying to make you cum first on his lap so he is the winner (in his mind, it has always been a competition). If he is in one of his hyper, restless moods you can totally shut him down with some cock warming. You sit on him and tell him to behave and he’d become the goodest boy ever. Definitely competitive, trying not to show you how needy you are getting him, but he’s very obvious. Once you reward him with bounces, he tries and fails not to cum instantly. Good thing about him is that he can go again right after an orgasm, he’ll just be a lot louder. Which is a win-win in my book.

Giving

Definitely only subby and very pouty. He thinks it’s unfair. You did all this work, prepared him so well, lubed him up so nicely just to end up telling him to be still. How unfair :( Jungkook so looked forward to bouncing on you and now he has to stay still :( definitely tries to get away with doing kegles for some stimulation, but you notice and punish him by slipping out. His pout grows and his begs get needier, so you slip in again because you can’t deny him. Of course he is ordered to stay still until he misbehaves again and gets punished again and the cycle repeats itself. I think this little play continues until you can’t take it anymore. Jungkook definitely ends up crying and shaking during the fuck because you riled him up so much that it feels euphoric to him.

[jasongracesenthusiast]

PRINCESS OF THE GODS !

PARING(s), percy jackson x daughter of HERA reader

WARNING(s), basically just marriage

AUTHOR’S NOTE, yeah i listened to juno while doing this, what about it

౨ৎ percy met you a little while after he arrived at camp. you were the only demigod child of hera, the queen of the gods. he was surprised at the thought that zeus would even allow you to live, but in fairness, he wasn’t dead yet either

౨ৎ you two didn’t actually consider yourselves friends until after ttc, when you were kidnapped (yes you’re taking annie’s place IM SORRYYY)

౨ৎ after the events of all that, percy found himself…drifting towards you, in a way

౨ৎ like, before everything happened, even if you weren’t necessarily friends, he did know you, like your existence mattered so much to him, he just didn’t know why at the time

౨ৎ but you, on the other hand, somehow did

౨ৎ when you were saved by percy and friends, you were very optimistic that it was him saving you and not somebody else, cause that just wouldn’t be as fun

౨ৎ anyways from the moment you met him, you were like “oh yeah that’s my future boyfriend right there”

౨ৎ and yeah calm down just a little bit, but you also just knew, and you thanked your mother everyday for giving you this knowledge

౨ৎ but you were also pissed because holy shit, it took percy a while to come to terms with how he felt about you, even after saving you and becoming friends

౨ৎ but when i tell you how many times you made a move until he realized

౨ৎ you were very clear about your feelings, like you genuinely had nothing to hide

౨ৎ percy was extremely confused about the fact that you never dated anybody at all

౨ৎ and loads of people at camp clearly find you attractive and percy does, too, so when you were like “oh yeah i’ve never had a boyfriend before” he was as shocked as possible

౨ৎ because like, it’s you

౨ৎ and you’d think that would make it click that he had feelings for you

౨ৎ unfortunately. it did the opposite.

౨ৎ and that was kind of your last straw. you literally sat him down and explained your feelings to him and how you liked him ever since he saved you

౨ৎ THAT’S when he fully realized it

౨ৎ and it’s not cause he’s stupid (mischaracterized percy jackson they could never make me like you), it’s because it’s YOU. the pretty daughter of hera who a lot of people crushed on

౨ৎ you were practically a princess and percy took that so seriously, he found it so hard to believe that you liked him

౨ৎ after insisting that you really did like him, yippie that’s when y’all started dating !!

౨ৎ and when i tell you how much of a power couple you are. you two just radiate that kind of energy, even if someone didn’t know you were together

౨ৎ like you didn’t even need to tell anyone, everybody just. knew, and percy was stunned and he was like, they knew??? did you tell everyone???

౨ৎ and you were like no that’s just the power couple energy

౨ৎ when i tell you he worships the very ground you walk on I FUCKING MEAN IT. you know that one thing where a girl is singing on stage and her boyfriend is sobbing? that’s you two

౨ৎ if i or anyone else had to describe your relationship, it would be that

౨ৎ since your mother is the goddess of marriage, you were very clear about the fact that percy was the man you were to marry, and everybody just like. accepted it

౨ৎ even people who had current or previous crushes on you accepted that, mostly because you often referred to him as your husband like it was a regular thing

౨ৎ percy lets you do it every time and never corrects you, even calling you his wife sometimes.

౨ৎ listen you had your entire future with him planned. from the proposal (if he didn’t do it by age 22, you fucking would), to the wedding, to having kids, all that. he knew he could not stop you like he knew you were prepared

౨ৎ but percy still loved every minute of it, because the thought of marrying you, the love of his life, was just astonishing. he loves you just as much as he loves the thought of making you his wife, because it was you he would be marrying.

[luvwich]

✒️ writer interview tag

tagged by @dustdeepsea — tysm, this was great fun! read their answers here and mine, if you like, beneath the cut ✨

When did you start writing?

early 2023 was my first foray into writing actual fiction. prior to that i'd done an embarrassing amount of roleplaying many years ago, which i shall speak on no further, but it did form the basis for a lot of my writing now!

once upon a time, i seriously entertained the idea of an MFA in screenwriting, but went on to pursue something even stupider for grad school 👍

Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?

honestly everything i enjoy reading gets smuggled into my writing in some form or another!

Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?

there are like 26 different writers where i wish to take bits and pieces of their style, send it all into a meat grinder, and press the gunk into sausage casings to be dipped in batter and deep fried. ideally i want my writing to hit like wagyu beef that's been corrupted into a county fair corn dog. but no i'm not sure i've ever been compared to another writer! that would fuck my shit up truly (in a good way)

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

typically curled up on my couch, because the ergonomic status of my home office setup is terrible — potentially lethal. sometimes i stay late at my not-home office, hidden away in a dark conference room, but that's usually only if i'm on a self-imposed deadline (i.e. i've started posting a WIP)

What's your most effective way to muster up a muse?

the spark that gets me to write is usually some kind of Dynamic that i want to explore so i do a lot of noodling upon situations and then figuring out how to get there. and by situations i mean smut

also, writing bits of dialogue, even if i don't know the context yet. it gets a character's voice and mannerisms in my head, and gives me a little grain to start building on

sadly, going on a hike and/or reading a really good book are both very effective and by far the most time consuming

Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?

longing, isolation, identity, the difference between the person you'd like to be and the person you are, strained/dysfunctional family relationships, wrong person right time, hope, blowjobs, self-deception, california, fucking your way through it, guilt, social class, mommy issues, mono no aware, oral fingering, etc; they don't surprise me anymore but the first time i finished a long fic and took a step back i was like "ohh haha Damn"

What is your reason for writing?

i am horny, sad n silly

Is there any specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating?

all forms of feedback are so touching! i think much of what i write is pretty niche, so simply knowing someone has read my stuff gets me pumped. a big essay of a comment is like receiving a love letter, and comments that are just an emoji are like someone's tucked a little note in my lunchbox, and both are incredibly nourishing to me. as far as motivation, though, anything that implies someone is looking forward to reading more is the surest way to light a fire under my people-pleasing ass

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

affable wretch, trickster, wine aunt

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

i'm not sure any one thing stands out: i believe i'm pretty good in a few areas (dialogue, sensory detail, characterization) and notably lacking in others (action, "plot," pacing, not getting high on my own supply)… okay i'll stop being an asshole though and say my strength is in "delivering on a mood," if that is a thing

How do you feel about your own writing?

generally good. for one, i'm proud of myself for ever finishing and posting anything, because following through on shit isn't something i'm renown for. i tend to hate everything i write after i've gotten some distance from it, but i think that's normal? right? i'm new at it and it's all for fun so i try to be gracious with myself, with mixed success, because beneath my goofy exterior i do take everything too seriously

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely for yourself, or a mix of both?

mostly for myself; i do abstractly ask "would someone who isn't me enjoy this?" and never quite know the answer. like most humans i crave external validation and connection, but like a cactus i can survive on just a lil rainfall 🌵

tagging w/no pressure (but with my best barbara walters impression) @corpocyborg @ghostoffuturespast @merge-conflict @streetkid-named-desire @writing-for-soup

[miquella-everywhere]

The way they try to characterize Miq in the DLC is just all over the place omg. He's wise enough to see the problem at its root, but not enough to realize that godhood isn't worth it and that he'd perpetuate the cycle. He's also not wise enough to pick a lord based on anything other than??? A childhood crush? Strong and kind, yup.

He's smart enough to have figured out where the Gate of Divinity is and how to use it, but not enough to know the Tarnished, whose whole thing is becoming Lord, would come after him. He has blinding strength, but had to send the twin he loved, and didn't want to succumb to the rot, to potentially do exactly that in facing against Radahn.

His bewitching is ultra powerful and he's cool with using it to achieve his goals, but couldn't have bewitched Radahn and baited him off a cliff or something to snatch his soul.

He's desperate to become a god, but he's fine sitting with this plan that hinges on someone killing Mohg and Radahn, or wait for the rot to kill him. He has enough follow through to become a god and make good on a vow from ??? ago, despite the nascency curse, but not enough to follow through for whatever purpose he gave us Torrent and the Spirit Tuning Bell, or do literally anything else.

Also, Ranni says she was "once" an empyrean, at a stage where the only thing she did in her plan was slay her "empyrean flesh". So it sounds like having empyrean flesh is an important part of being an empyrean? Because otherwise, there would have been no point in killing Godwyn's soul and her body? Or all the other demigods? So how is Miquella able to abandon his empyrean flesh in the cocoon, and then whatever the other flesh in the Land of Shadows is, and still become a god? Does being an empyrean just mean nothing?

Of all the too many cookbooks we got, I wish we got one for the Tonic of Forgetfulness. Time for DS1 I guess. At least the DLC final boss isn't Capra Demon, consort of Artorias.

Yes to all of this 👏

Miquella's character writing, thanks to the, is all over the damn place and I hate it. Miquella the Unalloyed and Miquella the Kind are genuinely two different characters and it's infuriating.

And Imo the thing that frustrates me the most is how in the base game Miquella was portrayed as this unparalleled genius, but in the DLC his "plan" is just so stupid, especially the Mohg part, because it's left so intentionally vague(about the circumstance of the kidnapping) but also in your face about Miq using Mohgs body for the Promised Retcon.

This whole thing literally makes no fucking sense and is frankly far too risky of a plan in general, like fuck, if we all remember that in the base game even Gideon had no fucking clue who Mohg even was or where he was hiding.

And you're trying to tell me that Miquella was seriously riding on a plan that quite literally hinged on the rare fucking chance and pure dumb luck that someone would come along and kill Mohg????

Miquella sending Malenia to kill Radahn to free the stars and cause the Eclipse to revive Godwyn made more sense and has more base game basis than this shit 😒

Absolutely horrendous writing, I will never forgive how they dumbed down Miquella the Unalloyed.

[gayness-and-mayhem]

"You've stolen the whole of UNIT HQ!"

[abra-ka-dammit]

I spent today operating under the assumption i would have brought zelda in to be put down tonight. Im still operating under the assumption i may need to any moment now if im being honest. But.

I opened it up and turned off the oxygen kennel. Her pathetic meowing and pawing combined with her lack of progress broke my heart. So i decided i would let her out and once she became too breathless to maul me again i was gonna take her to the vet and Get It Over With.

But uh. That was 2 hours ago. Shes been walking around, though lying down every 4 yards or so--but not in weird places like the middle of her path. Normal lay down spots like beds and her usual hangs. Shes breathing heavier than is optimal but not actually noticeably worse than the last oxygen level i had her at, and considering she always had a fairly fast breath, maybe even normal for her? (I never actually counted prior to the incident.)

She hasnt begun open mouth breathing again yet, but im watching her closely. I'll be staying up late to continue monitoring her if she continues seeming fine. Im cautiously optimistic she might actually be able to adjust back to room air at this point. Still ready to pull the plug if she goes downhill again but.... maybe not.

Based on my history im sure yall dont need me to say it but i will keep you updated

[hazardsoflove]

thinking about social worker percy again

[nicoscheer]

Ending it with Miles 😭🫶🏽🥹 we’re gonna cry so bad.

But also I love this so much cause like obviously the band and the management heard all the hateful ‘fans’ back when they had to cancel Marlay Park because Alex dared to get laryngitis and this; giving them not only one but 3/4 shows with Miles and an access code is so hilarious to me cause like yeah you very fuckin nasty and disgusting but here ya go ya lil shits now what do you say (pretty please) like this makes all those haters look sooo incredibly dumb and childish (like no patience at all obviously they need time to schedule and arrange all the venues and what not, like have some faith in them just lean back and trust) anyways long story short love this move

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I’m having a mental breakdown

Miles via email

[sasubaeuchithot]

LITERALLY ALL OF YOU ARE FAKE SASUKE FANS. STOP WISHING FOR HIM TO DIE.

[ashfdhfgdsfk]

might remake to a new account entirely and change the name i go by

[bitchkay]

Getting up at 5am to a blood stain underneath my ass on my bed is not how I would've liked to "start" my day

[polyamorouspunk]

Hug

*Hug*

[ottiethetrashqueen]

I hate how easy I am to trigger

[okcoolthanks]

“I did not mean to be a fucking himbo”

[moonlit-orchid]

good evening to everyone except a certain few fucking anons

[mysteriouslybluepirate]

Hi

Yeah, I've seen the 1 min 30 Izzy teaser. I've seen it many times. I'm choosing to not go crazy on here because the second I do, I will abandon my WIP, and spend all day going in mental loops.

I'm just stuck on feelings of- 'damn we were right' (happy) and 'oh, damn, we were right' (devastated).