#who needs real celebrities and their awful takes when you can have fun cartoon people

[yuri-alexseygaybitch]

They need to invent more fake celebrities like Hatsune Miku and Gorillaz and the Muppets because it's genuinely the most sustainable way to maintain a parasocial relationship with the entertainer class.

[sanderssidesfanfiction]

If There’s a Place I Could Be - Chapter Fourteen

If There’s a Place I Could Be Tag

December 23rd, 1994

Emile hugged his cousin Ella as she barreled towards him, nearly sending them both sprawling flat on the ground. “You’re getting really big, Ella. Pretty soon I won’t be able to pick you up anymore!”

“Aw, no!” Ella exclaimed.

Emile laughed. “I said ‘pretty soon,’ meaning you should milk it while you can,” he said, picking Ella up and settling her on his hip.

She shrieked with laughter and Emile grinned. He enjoyed having this time to spend with his family. He wondered if he would have a family of his own some day, for a brief moment, but he put that thought out of his head. That was something to worry about in the future. For now, he could just enjoy the family he currently had.

  December 24th, 2000

Emile admittedly felt a little scummy. He had tried not to, because Remy had insisted he would be okay, but he still didn’t want to leave his friend alone in their apartment for Christmas break. Remy wasn’t going back to his parents’ place, thank goodness, because Emile wouldn’t have been able to let him go there alone in good conscience, but he refused Emile’s invitation to come home to see his parents and celebrate Christmas with them.

Still, Emile was trying to not let it get to him. Christmas was when all his extended family on his mom’s side went to his grandfather’s, meaning he’d get to see his cousins, aunts, uncles, and everyone in between! He was getting to sit on one of the couches and talk to his mom’s biological brother, and just talk about everything that had happened over the course of the last semester. “...And they tried to force him to switch his major!” Emile exclaimed. “Like, sure, if he wanted to do it himself, I would have supported him, but if his parents were making it a part of the deal for him getting their continued support? That’s a below-the-belt shot.”

“Yeah,” his uncle agreed. “It sounds really tough. I’m glad that you’re there for him.”

Emile shrugged. “I like to think he would have done this sooner or later without my help, but part of me knows that even if he tried, he wouldn’t have gotten this far. Honestly, that scares me, you know?”

“What scares you?” one of his younger cousins asked.

Emile craned his head back over the top of the couch to find Ella standing there, staring at him. “How little options my best friend had in this hypothetical situation I set up.”

“Why are you worried about your best friend in a hypothetical situation?” Ella asked.

“Because if one thing went wrong, it could have been the real situation. I get it’s in the past, but that doesn’t stop the feeling of cheating death.”

Ella squinted at him. “You’re weird, Emile.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” Emile waved off. “But what I feel is what I feel. Can’t exactly help it.”

Ella shrugged and walked away, and Emile turned back to his uncle, to find himself the subject of a searching stare. “...Can I help you?” he asked.

“Cheating death is an interesting word choice. Did you cheat death?” his uncle asked.

Emile shrugged. “Some days it definitely feels like that.”

His uncle whistled. “Good thing you’re friends with this guy, Emile. You have to be the best support he could ask for.”

“Eh,” Emile said with a shrug. “A professional could probably give him more help, if only he’d willingly reach out and accept. But yeah, I’m really glad that I got to move to an apartment with him. Less loans for me, and less depression for him.”

“And you both can afford rent?” his uncle asked.

“Yeah,” Emile said. “He’s picked up a second job at a local coffee shop out there, so he’s working two barista jobs for a little extra cash. I’m starting a new job the second of January at Target, so we can both pay for rent, and I can help with food if needed.”

His uncle nodded approvingly. “Then it seems like you have everything set up,” he said.

“Yeah, I’m actually really excited,” Emile said.

“What do you think you’re going to do when you graduate?” his uncle asked. “Are you planning to continue living with your friend? Especially if he can’t afford his own place?”

“I hadn’t thought about that...” Emile said, words soft and trailing off near the end. “I guess I might, or at the very least I’d help him get a new roommate. But I wouldn’t worry about that for a while yet. After all, I’m going there for three and a half more years at least, before grad school comes around. Hopefully by that time, even if I do need to move, he’ll be more receptive to knowing people other than me.”

“That sheltered, is he?” his uncle asked.

“I don’t think that’s the right term,” Emile said. “He’s certainly been exposed to plenty of ugly things in his life. ‘Closed-off’ would probably be a better descriptor for it.”

His uncle leaned forward. “How ugly are we talking?”

“I’m not comfortable going into specifics, because I don’t have the full picture, but ugly enough,” Emile said. “He worries me a lot. Thankfully he’s safe over the course of the break, but I wish he would have hung out with some friends, or came here with me as a friend. Honestly, no one should really spend the holidays alone if they don’t want to. And I’m almost positive he doesn’t want to.”

His uncle frowned. “Did you try and insist?”

“If I had done that, he probably would have stormed out of the apartment and never returned,” Emile sighed. “So I’m stuck offering the same things over and over in the hopes that he’ll take them.”

His uncle chewed his cheek but nodded, and soon it was time for dinner. The whole family gathered around the table, enjoying the meal and each other’s company. Emile was mostly successful in keeping the attention off him and Remy with their living situation. Not that he didn’t enjoy talking about Remy, but he didn’t want his whole family scrutinizing his friend when Remy wasn’t even here to defend himself.

They all eventually finished dinner, and then it came time to open up gifts. His cousins mostly got things for their hobbies, like sketch pads and charcoal, or notebooks for writing. One of the boys, Johnny, even got a book full of science experiments to try. They went from youngest cousin to oldest, and soon enough it was Emile’s turn to open whatever he had gotten. His parents came over first, and his dad was snickering as he passed a brown package over to Emile. “This came in the mail for you the other day,” he said. “It had to be a day or two before you came home.”

Emile looked at the return address and groaned. “Remy. Of course he would send me something so I wouldn’t object to him spending money on me in person.”

He opened the package with scissors, to find something wrapped up in wrapping paper inside. He frowned, tearing into the paper. His entire face lit up when he saw what Remy got him. “Oh, it’s She-Ra episodes!” he laughed. “I don’t believe it!”

His whole family laughed, but he just held the gift close to his chest. His family had never heard Remy insult Emile’s interest in cartoons, but this meant that he was coming around to the concept of Emile liking said cartoons. He was changing, even if it only meant keeping his opinions to himself and indulging Emile in this particular field of interest. Which was huge, in Emile’s book.

After setting that gift reverently to the side, Emile opened the presents from his parents (a cartoon-themed calendar), his aunts and uncles (fuzzy socks, and a few novels he had mentioned he’d been meaning to read), and his grandfather (an age-old classic of a leather notebook), and let the adults exchange gifts while he looked around for a pen, so he could start up his new notebook.

He made a triumphant noise when he found one hiding behind the punch, forgotten with some company logo on it that Emile didn’t recognize. This was a pen that wouldn’t be missed, and he decided he may as well use it to start off his new journal. He found a small corner in his grandfather’s house where he was unlikely to be disturbed, and opened up the journal to the first page. The trick with this would be figuring out what to write. He didn’t do traditional journalling, talking about his day in a “Dear Diary” sort of fashion. But he didn’t always repeat what he had done in previous journals, provided previous journals even had a theme. Emile had been getting these from his grandfather for literal years, he knew it was coming, and yet he hadn’t figured out how he was going to fill up this journal yet.

In an instant, a solution hit him over the head. He could write imaginary letters to his friends in order to sort through his emotions, and anything else that happened to occur between whenever he last wrote through to the present. And he knew exactly who his first entry would be to:

Dear Remy,

Thank you for the She-Ra episodes, it really means a lot to me. I know you would shrug it off as not being a big deal, but it's definitely huge to me. I know you aren't a fan of cartoons, and I know that trying to keep all of my cartoon paraphernalia in my room still makes you feel weird sometimes. So you getting these for me really means a lot. I know we don't have a TV yet, or a VHS player, but knowing you, you thought about that and have something else in store for whenever I get back home.

I know you don't want me to, but I do sometimes worry about you, Rem. Like, a lot. You said you would be fine on your own for Christmas, but you did that thing where your eyes dart around the room before you look back at me, and that always happens before you lie to me. You would have been more than welcome to spend the holidays with my family. No one would have even assumed that we were a couple, provided I said off the bat that you didn't have family to celebrate Christmas with.

Still, I respect your decision. And I know not everyone would want to go to Mass at church early Christmas morning. I barely enjoy that, and the only time I do properly have fun is near the end, when I'm finally alert enough to enjoy the songs that everyone is singing.

I hope that you're having a good Christmas, though. Whether you find someone who's still in town and has nowhere to go, like you, or you volunteer somewhere because it's Christmas and you'd rather not be alone, even if that means just going to the soup kitchen, then I hope that you have a good time.

I really care about you, Remy. And I know that you'd scoff and roll your eyes if I told you as much, but I really do. And I hope, one day, you'll let me say it without you being uncomfortable. Maybe you'd even say it back.

I know you'll never see this, but take care, all right?

Emile

That done, he slid the pen in the little spot next to the back cover that had a piece of elastic made for holding pens or pencils, and sighed as he looked up and around the house. No one seemed to be looking for him, which was admittedly a little surprising. Usually he got carried up and away in his writing and he wouldn’t come back to the present for at least half an hour.

He walked back to the living room, and his dad glanced over. “You good, Emile?” he asked.

“Breaking in the new journal,” Emile said sheepishly, waving it in the air. “It needed to be done, and now at least I know what I’m going to do with it.”

His grandfather smiled approvingly and Emile smiled back. He settled onto the couch again, next to where his gifts were, and his thoughts kept drifting back to Remy. He really hoped that Remy was having a good time, whatever that entailed for him. Remy deserved to be happy. Everyone deserved to be happy, but considering all the work Remy had put in over just the past three months in trying to be a better person, Remy extra-deserved it.

I hope that you have a good Christmas, Remy, Emile sent out the silent thought. And I hope that you won’t be alone.

[ecoamerica]

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

[pinkysfaultorbrainsfault]

pinky and the brain - s1e5a: where no mouse has gone before

the blood test went okay! i’m still fucking exhausted but i’m pulling through. hopefully when the results come through it’ll be something tame yet treatable.

episode summary: upon learning of a human plot to communicate with aliens from a nearby planet, brain attempts to convince them that he is earth’s leader.

the rundown:

the mice are floating around.

did i need to cap all of those images? no. i probably only needed the last one, honestly. was it funnier? absolutely. so that’s what y’all get.

brain is upside down now.

“look, brain!” cries pinky. “i’m experiencing total weightlessness!”

bonk.

they’re in an anti gravity chamber, for reasons that have not been elaborated upon. they just sort of merrily bump into each other in there until someone lets them out.

bonk.

bonk.

ow. if pinky could die, that would probably be it for his spine. brain looks more like his alarm has just gone off and he really doesn’t want to get up, but god damn it, he has a 9am on tuesdays.

gromp.

“these experiments are degrading.”

“narf! i think they’re fun, brain! i can’t wait for the next ride!”

“that is because you have no dignity.”

but it’s okay. this man in terrifying sunglasses has come to rescue the boys. air mice nyoom is over.

as he takes them back to wherever, brain spots something of interest.

IT’S A DVD. HOW ANTIQUATED. but no, he’s more concerned about whatever it is this dude is polishing.

“did you see that plaque, pinky?” brain asks, and then does... this. for some reason. i don’t know. maybe i paused at a weird time. this is, uh, not a good moment, brain. there are people here.

“poit. he really ought to floss more often.”

this, at the very least, is enough to get brain to stick his ass out slightly less, and as they get lowered into fun little chairs,

he explains to pinky that the plaque "displays representations of man, woman, and the rudiments of earth’s most sophisticated science.”

see! there are the sciences right there. all sciences can be narrowed down to a bunch of dots and pi.

so then they get put in the promare spinny machine for their crimes.

sunglasses man leaves. he has done his duty for bill and country.

completely unbothered by the prospect of fueling the promepolis warp drive, brain explains to pinky that said plaque is being “sent on a probe to the outermost extremities of the galaxy, along with a disk showing earth’s arts and music.” unfortunately, this show is set in the 90s, so it’s a miracle this episode actually happened and the aliens didn’t just listen to a couple seconds of bjork and then decide to call the whole thing off.

meanwhile, the scientist turns the spinny mode up a bit.

“if the aliens look upon it, they will learn everything they need to know about the dominant species on earth!”

“naaarf. too bad there isn’t a picture of you on there, brain!”

“exactly,” says brain, who can somehow still manage a coherent sentence. “are you pondering what i’m pondering?”

“i think so, brain! but pants with horizontal stripes make me look chubby!”

awful. brain somehow manages to convey that if he puts a picture of himself on the plaque, then the aliens will recognise him as earth’s leader.

unfortunately, most of his lower half appears to be significantly broken, so he may need some assistance.

the episode cuts straight from spinny machine to the next scene, so i’m not entirely sure how long afterwards it takes place. i assume at the very least they both had a nap first, but anyway, now the mice are here and significantly less broken, and brain is standing in front of an engraving of himself and saying voila.

“voila.”

not only has he carved himself into the plaque, he’s also carved the human figures out entirely. impressive stuff, considering that tool is bigger than him.

pinky thinks it’s marvellous!

“but who is it?”

bonk.

it gets worse. brain explains that he has “slightly altered the great art masterpieces” to enhance his own importance as earth’s leader.

slightly.

“oh, this is my favourite one, brain!”

“......how did that get in there.”

undeterred, brain switches over to some samples of The World’s Great Works Of Classical Music.

BRAIN’S THE LEADEEEEEEEEEEER BRAIN’S THE LEAAAADEEEEER

he’s even included some examples of america’s contribution to the fine arts!

ROCK. AND ROLL.

A WOP BOP A LOO BOP A LOP BAM BRAIN. let it be known that little richard was actually white and dubiously canadian.

/s

anyway brain wants them to swap his disk and plaque with the real disk and plaque, so they set off to do that.

“but brain, what about ballet? aren’t you going to give them a sample of the ballet?”

“the aliens aren’t going to care about ballet, pinky.”

or perhaps he was just too embarrassed to edit his face onto the ballets russe. it’s okay brain. we love you even if your short legs make your sissones lackluster.

time for Big Rocket.

they’re stopped at the gates, of course.

fear not! it’s only famous jet propulsion scientist wernher von brain from the braun institute in baun.

and wernher von pinky!!! from the mink institute in pink!!!

brain looks at pinky like he’s just said something stupid, and chooses to ignore the fact that wernher van braun had been dead twenty years before this cartoon takes place. very smart, brain. much genius.

still, it works on this guy.

“from now on, pinky, whatever anyone asks you, just say ‘ja’ or ‘nein’.”

BUT NEVER MIND THAT.

IT’S TIME FOR BIG ROCKET.

brain screws his custom Mouse Plaque onto the base of the rocket. he also sticks his ass out again as he does it, because he is clearly having one of those days.

pinky watches as the countdown progresses slowly, from ten-nine-eight-seven-six-five-four-three-stand by for emission.

“did you hear the countdown, pinky?”

“ja!”

“what number are they down to?”

“nien!”

“nine???”

“ja!”

“excellent, plenty of time.”

<does a gay little run into the distance>

(he did not, in fact, have plenty of time.)

“didn’t you tell me they were down to nine, pinky?”

“ja! nien! poit!”

there’s your answer, i guess.

but it’s fine! brain’s picture is on the rocket, as well as his cultural erasure of little richard, so surely nothing can go wrong now!

look at it nyooming around in space. how cute.

conclusion:

ALIENS LAND ON EARTH.

news man witters on about this being the GREATEST MOMENT IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD as various politicians and news organisations congregate to say hi to the aliens. they are from firnobulax, and they want to meet earth’s leader!

here they come now!

squelch.

the aliens politely request to be taken to earth’s leader.

“he means me,” says bill, wriggling himself to the front of the line. “i can feel his pain.”

):

the other world leaders don’t seem too sure about this.

including... this guy. who is definitely supposed to be british (”oh, really, old chap, i think he means me”) but i. definitely do not recognise him. who are you??? what did you do to the queen??????? give liz back right now you bureaucrat, or the entirety of england will throw hands.

the aliens care not for this.

so they kind of explode everyone in the venue, as you do.

the politicians watch in horror as the aliens fly right past them, to this innocent looking soap box right at the back.

the inhabitants of which came prepared. very cute.

“you are the earth creature known as. brain?”

“yes!”

“i am the leader of this planet!! ruler of all i survey!!!!!”

good for you! (:

“narf. and he really isn’t just a laboratory mouse trying to take over the world.”

brain will handle this from here, thank you.

the aliens are satisfied, at least. they give pinky a little pat on the head for all his narfs (he speaks excellent firnobulax, don’t you know, narf poit egad) and take the mice away to CELEBRATE THEIR GLORY.

it doesn’t look very comfortable, but neither of them seem to mind.

“at last, pinky! we are finally appreciated!”

“what does it feel like..........”

anyway, the spaceship full of mice flies away. brain regails the firnobulaxians with tales of how he invented electricity.

“but brain. wasn’t that ben franklin?”

bonk.

brain realises mid bonk that this probably looks very suspicious, so he convinces the aliens that this is a gesture of respect on earth.

it goes about as well as one would think it would.

“you mean all those years, you were just showing me respect! i’m touched!”

“yes, you certainly are.”

luckily, they make it back to firnobulax without too much trouble.

there’s a parade and everything. the crowd cheers “narf! poit! brain!” as they’re carried through the street, which is probably a sequence of words that brain is very used to hearing.

i don’t know what these things are, but they’re scary.

they make it to brain’s “domicile” soon enough, which is a big fancy room with a chair in it.

there’s only one chair, which is sad, but hopefully that can be mitigated. brain settles himself down triumphantly.

“from now on, pinky,” he says, “everything will be different.”

which is a good time for bars to fall down over one of the windows.

donk.

the mice look on, horrified,

as it continues around the rest of the room.

and the door, too, for good measure.

“egad, brain!” cries pinky. “they’ve locked us in!”

“yes, pinky.”

“yes.”

awww. ):

as pinky attempts to break the bars, brain wanders off back to his little chair, incredibly despondantly.

he has to prepare for tomorrow night.

“why, brain? what are we going to do tomorrow night?”

“same thing we do every night, pinky. try to take over firnobulax.”

hmmmmm.

man. i just. the plan actually worked, is the thing. it did exactly what brain intended it to. and how could he have known that firnobulax wanted to kidnap the leader of earth for scientific purposes? maybe if they’d been upfront with their intent, we would have had an excuse to send some dictators into space. go figure.

but never mind.

brain: 6 pinky: 7 outside influence: 13

“ooooo, i don’t know, brain. i once saw a group of japanese tourists absolutely melt at the final scene of giselle.”

[fyrapartnersearch]

Subliminal Message: Read this Ad! (M/M, Originals, Long-Term, Fantasy, Email)

Hello, friendos! Right off the bat I will tell you that this roleplay ad is going to me more on the longer side, so I ask you to bear with me and make it through, so at the end, I will have expressed all my wants and you will know if my ad suits you or not.

  About me:

You can call me Kat or Katherine or Katie or whatever you want. I’m a lass well into my twenties that is looking for other lasses to roleplay with. I’m sorry lads, but I’ve had a loooot of unpleasant experiences with guys who were…let’s just say that world building and character development weren’t their primary goals.

I’m located in Europe, so I’m in the GMT timezone, that means pretty ahead of EST, CST and all the other American timezones. That being said, I don’t care about your timezone, as long as you can be an active partner.

I have a pretty long roleplay experience, I would say. I first began roleplaying when forums were a thing, then moved to Omegle and from there I stumbled into roleplaying sites, such as this one. I would say, a total of twelve or thirteen years of roleplaying.

  How to contact me:

My email address is kat.roleplays@outlook.com

For the roleplay I use exclusively email, but for talking and planning and plotting, I can use Discord or Hangouts or WhatsApp, depends on what feels more comfortable for you. I mostly use Discord, but a separate email thread works just as well.

When you first send me an email, please write more than “Hi! I saw your ad and I would be interested. Please add details about you, your roleplay style, what you like, what you dislike and your availability. I will me much more inclined to take you on your offer.

  What I’m looking for in a partner:

Please, be over 18. I have nothing against underage writers, I think a sixteen years old can write just as nicely as a twenty or thirty years old, but due to the themes I tend to include in my writing, as well as the NSFW content, I can’t roleplay with minors.

Please, be active. I’m looking for someone who can send multiple replies a day and keep the story going. I’m also a fan of rapid-fire, but I understand that some people can offer that. Of course, real life comes first, but if you could dedicate some hours a day to send replies back and forth, that would be amazing!

Be polite! You don’t like my style or my characters? Alright. Tell me about it so we could talk it through. If you think there is an irreconcilable difference between us, that’s also alright. Just tell me nicely and we will terminate the roleplay on good terms. No need to be rude to each other!  

Be LGBT and diversity friendly. I will not tolerate anyone who hate people for the sake of hating people, just because they are different.

  About the roleplay:

Now, onto the good stuff. Details about what I’m looking for in a roleplay. This one has more subcategories.

Style:

I roleplay in third person, past tense (“I had so much fun at the party!” Kat told her friend), but I’m perfectly okay if my partner prefers the present tense, just as it’s still the third person. First person roleplays feel oddly like self-inserts and have a creepy vibe.

Be literate when you write. No text talk, well…unless the characters are texting each other. Then, emojis are allowed too. Also, you can write accents and such. I don’t want to roleplay with Charles Dickens, but, for me, roleplaying is like writing a book. I don’t want it to look…well, you know.

  Length of the replies:  One or two paragraphs. Since I want replies back and forth, I won’t be exaggerated and ask three or more paragraphs. As long as you can put some meaning into one or two well written paragraphs (they don’t even have to be fat paragraphs), we are game!

  Characters and ships:

I only write original characters!

I enjoy well developed, realistic and flawed characters. No Mary-Sues of Gary-Stues. Of course, the characters don’t have to have tragic or awful flaws, but perfection is unrealistic, peeps! Tying into my previous statement, characters with a tragic past who are all gruff, doom and gloom, cynical and stone hearted are a no for me. I don’t mind if they have a tragic past, as long as they are not unpleasant people. Basically, no “AHole with a heart of gold trope”, I don’t mess with that. Nor with “the character is an AHole now, but once you get to know him, he gets better” trope. I enjoy characters who are nice and approachable. Don’t come at me with some dark, brooding and misunderstood person. I’m not saying they are bad, they are just…not what I mess with.

I usually enjoy a large group of characters in the roleplay. Having just the main pair can get boring real quick, at least for me. I need to see them interacting with their parents, their friends, their people, not just their lover.

For the main pair, I’m interested in a M/M romance, but on the sides we can have M/F and F/F, I think diversity is fun.

When writing romance, our characters could either start by being friends, or already in an established relationship, or building romance from scratch, although, I must warn you, I’m not terribly good at writing slow burn or pinning.

  Themes suggested (this list is not complete and I do accept other suggestions):

Fantasy (modern, urban) – Of course, I love supernatural creatures as much as the next person and I would like to see vampires, werewolves, elves, warlocks and such just going about their lives and living a human life. This, of course, asks for humanoid creatures, so, just ones that look as humans. I could even do Slice-of-Life with a fantasy twist.

Romance – This is a big must for me. I’m a sap of a person and a good, fluffy, loving and healthy relationship is something I absolutely love in a roleplay.

Other themes that can be discussed: Adventure, mystery.

  Settings suggested (this list is not complete and I do accept other suggestions): Academia (please, do this with me), the big city, small town and small idyllic village in the country side.

  Faceclaims: They are not a requirement, but I’m a visual person and having a visual reference would help me sooo much. However, I only do realistic faceclaims, people such as celebrities, male models, or random people found on Google, not animes or cartoons. I’m sorry, it’s just a preference.

  NSFW info: I do write smut, I enjoy writing smut, but I can also fade to black for my partner if that’s required. I usually don’t do anything too fancy, only vanilla.

  What I won’t do: Anything illegal, gross or things that come against nature (MPreg), also, no Omegaverse.

With that being said, I hope something here caught your interest and you will send me a mail. I hope you’ve read my ad fully, you can ask for clarifications anytime.

[halfusek]

You Left Me in a Heartbeat

I wrote a fic about my interpretation of how things were between Joey and Henry: from before founding the studio to the moment they split up and a bit more. Also it includes a certain theory I would like to discuss in a seperate post some other time. Hope you enjoy! Huge thanks to @pipesflowforeverandever for beta reading and helping me with getting this thing readable! <3 Warning: ...violence.

✪ ✪ ✪

There is nothing wrong with dreaming. Excitement filled his head and buzzing thoughts were running million miles per hour through that brain hidden under dark hair. Although none of that amount of thinking was focused on the real world. At least not yet. Which is why the owner of fancy looking (but actually really cheap, he was just a broke student with nothing but dreams and 60 cents in his pocket, well, at least for the rest of the month) black shoes didn't even notice his feet were constantly switching being attached to the ground between toes and heels. His sight seemed to be focused on a certain covered in lights sign which was hung way above the cogitating head, at the top of an entrance. He was standing close to the gate with the cinema's ticket booth in the middle, his pointy nose pointed at the sky, expression peaceful, shoulders relaxed, and body slightly bending back and forth.

Oh, no, surely nothing wrong with dreaming, especially dreaming big, but who is to say those smaller ones cannot be fulfilled as well? Even those silly ones.

The cinema was showing an animated production tonight. And he had just enough money to see it and only slightly starve for the next week!

He arrived way too early for the show, but he couldn't just sit at home! So he went out for a long walk, well dressed, which wasn't most comfortable, but God, did he feel good!

To be fair it wasn't just the show his mind was currently so occupied with. Oh, it surely is fun doing alone, but what an experience it must be with a company!

He heard his name being shout out from across the street. The man turned around on his heel and sent the best grin the mouth under the pencil moustache was able to make.

Especially good company!

Henry was with some woman.

Joey stood still.

When the pair finally approached him, he whistled under his nose and then bowed. Both of his arms moved right away, one behind his back, and the other one in front of him, reaching for her hand.

"What a pleasure meeting you, my lady,” she giggled and Henry couldn't help but roll his eyes, though his lips twitched, forming a smile, "Can I know your name?”

"Linda,” they exchanged an energetic handshake, "You must be Joey?”

Said man gasped and put his hands on his chest in disbelief.

"Wow! Well...” he pouted comically and put his finger on his chin, other hand resting on his hip, "It is a possibility.”

Linda snorted.

"You know,” she took Henry by his arm and turned her head to him, cascade of blond hair flowing with that movement, "When you said it's just some cartoon I had second thoughts about going... but it might be fun after all,” she bit her lip as she turned back to Joey.

"Oh?” Drew asked, his mind completely ignoring the compliment, "You don't like cartoons?”

"I mean... I never really tried watching any... who knows, maybe it's fun. I know a fella or two who seem to enjoy it," she showed her teeth in a beautiful smile.

Joey noticed with how much affection Henry looked at her face. His eyebrows frowned a tiny bit.

"Let's try making it a three then," Henry beamed and pulled his girlfriend after him to buy the tickets. He did it in such an adventurous way, she couldn't help but laugh.

Joey watched them from behind. He couldn't move his feet. This was stupid.

He was stupid.

He wanted to pay for them. Only the two of them. He didn't expect-

His body shaked for a second. Only now he noticed how cold it was outside. Or...

He took the first step.

They won't last.

He took another step.

They will break up soon and he will never see or hear of Linda ever again.

He came up to the gate and bought a single ticket, then followed his company for tonight.

He won't lose just like that.

After the seance, Linda’s love for toons started and was growing ever since. She couldn't draw a straight line, but was interested in her partner's passion.

He can't lose.

Few years from this night they are planning to get married.

✪

Music was so loud as if the world was ending and it was the last opportunity to dance ever. Wonderful combination of bodies moving to the wild rhythms, people shouting as long as they had air in their lungs, liters and liters of alcohol and pure happiness – truly the most humane form of insanity. Everyone was dressed in their most expensive clothes they should take care of and nobody cared as they waved their arms and legs, drowning in the ocean of sweat and panting breaths.

They owned the place tonight, newcomers could either join or stay being outsiders which ended for all of them in leaving. Judging by how, hm, unusual the party was, it effectively scared away those who could have something against some of its rules. One woman entered looking for someone to make love to, but went out scoffing as her moves resulted in nothing because she aimed at a wrong pal, currently making his own moves towards another pal. How weird!

Oh, those artists. Such deviants!

Joey was forcibly pulling Henry away from the table, despite all of the yet-to-come-animator's protests.

"Come ooooon!” tall man’s voice sounded lower and slowed down. Also very demanding at the moment, "Don't tell me you're not gonna dance at a celebration of YOUR OWN show!”

They finally both ended up in the middle of the chaos which was the said celebration. They were like two pales standing still in a storming sea. Now they either drown or move. Henry didn’t seem up for swimming.

He doesn't like dancing. Joey only knew he performed a few slow ones with Linda, but she wasn't there to get him out of his comfort zone this time.

Obviously Joey was obligated to step in.

"I-I don't know what to do, I feel weird everytime I do this, I-"

"Don't think about it, just do it!” they had to yell in each others ears to make anything out of their conversation.

"I can't. I can't!” light reflected in Henry’s glasses as he looked back at the table.

"It's like slow dancing! But faster!” Henry didn't need to turn again to his friend to see that big grin of his, but he did it anyway just to send him a mildly annoyed look.

"It's not!”

"It is! I'm gonna... fucking... show you!” Joey grabbed his hands and pulled, which took Henry by surprise.

"What the-"

"Think of waltz! But don't be strict! Use some instinct, for crying out loud you're the one with a girl!”

And so they took few first steps like in a classic waltz, which didn't go well with everyone else's tempo but Joey didn't care. Henry got more nervous.

"I told you I-"

"Shut up! Keep! Trying!”

Drew can be really exhausting with his motivational attitude and never-giving-up speeches, but Henry decided to listen to him. After all, he was usually right.

They took their steps faster. Then Joey started leading them into slightly different ones, and with time and occurrence those differences started increasing.

Henry found himself catching up and they both noticed that.

When they achieved a somewhat satisfying pace and didn't bump into others as much, Joey suddenly pulled Henry closer and whispered to his ear something the shorter man couldn't quite catch but it surely included the words "dancing demon" and he bursted out laughing.

Sillyvision pitched their idea.

Way later that night two figures struggled with walking down the street, both clinging to each other. They were trying hard to keep their balance yet still ended up moving between both sides of the road. Luckily for them it was quite a quiet neighborhood, no cars in the sight. There was only one cyclist who tried their best to avoid them with the accompanying sounds of the bike’s horn.

Their long walk was completed at a construction field. Not a recommended place for the drunk, but things were about to start happening here in a few days, only several materials have been gathered for building.

Joey wants to stand on his own but Henry didn’t let him – he knew that would end in the tall man laying face down on the dirt – so instead of making a majestic spin in the middle of the place with his hand pointed at the surroundings, he did an awkward turn-around, which almost knocked Henry off his own feet.

"Look. At. This!” words were pouring out of his mouth in a bulky mutter, "This will be ours. This IS ours.”

"Yeah,” Henry simply replied but then decided to elaborate a bit, "It’s… it feels amazing.”

"Yes! It does,” dark hair fluttered as the head it was on nodded. He kept doing that as he responded, "I think I’m gonna return today’s alcoholic be… be-ve… rages.”

"Ew. Let go of me then. And not on our future floor.”

"Imagine s-someone will be, like, sitting there, like, drawing, and then, I’ll like come to them from behind and be like-"

"Oh, Jesus.”

"Sir.”

"God.”

"You’re sitting on my barf.”

Henry didn’t let this low level joke make him giggle. He made an excessively serious face.

"You’ll be the worst employer.”

"I’ll be an amazing employer. So honest.”

"Please, don’t.”

"Yeah, no, I’ll lie on occasions.”

"I meant don’t puke on our legacy.”

"Oh.”

They took a sit on a stack of desks and breathed in silence for a while. Their shoulders were touching.

"I think I’m better now.”

"Good.”

"I’m so happy,” Drew’s voice broke as tears rolled down his cheeks.

"It sure doesn’t sound like it,” Henry made an awful joke attempt as his own tone hit a higher pitch and he felt a sudden urge to blink more.

Both men raised hands to wipe their eyes- only to be interrupted by their own bursting, bubbling laughter. Cartoonists put their arms around each other and they wobbled, they laughed, and they cried.

They were tired but it was the best kind of tired. The kind you feel after successfully achieving something, so you can rest a bit and let that accomplishment bring some joy into your life.

Henry rested his head on his best friend’s shoulder.

It was so warm. The night was cold and the alcohol wouldn’t help them keep a decent temperature for long, but they simply had each other.

At that moment, Joey could swear he was burning.

His hand found its place on Henry’s hip, long, thin fingers were trembling. He took in a deep, shaky breath.

Henry felt the chest he was almost laying on shiver and for a short moment there was a sensation grabbing his face by the hot hands of confusion. It lasted a few seconds until Joey stood up and took three steps forward. Henry, not expecting this, ended up falling on his elbow, so he was in a kind of semi-recumbent position, his mouth slightly opened. He watched Joey put his hands on his sides, and turn back to him. Shorter man almost expected some sort of negative expression, but the other surprised him with a smile which could only be described as a smile of a dreamer.

Henry forgot to remind him of being careful, because he knew his friend had something important to say. So he listened to the man of ideas.

"This,” he threw one hand in the air, "This will be great.”

His hand fell back on his hip.

"But it’s just the beginning. It will be greater.”

Henry raised his eyebrows and blinked.

"We will expand!” Joey suddenly released an excited shout and lifted both arms to the sky as if he wanted to grab all the stars.

At that moment Henry was almost certain he did. He got up and approached him.

"What do you mean?”

"We’re gonna make it big! Literally!” Joey let out a laughter before he explained, "The grounds were so cheap because most of them are located above a huuuge cave found many feets underground! Of course we won’t start building above that part, but later we could easily use it for building something…” he made a pause and put an emphasis on the next word, "under!”

"Oh, my,” Henry mumbled, genuinely surprised. This lack of knowledge didn’t bother him much. Not now, "That’s… that does sound great… although it will take a lot of hard work before we’ll be actually able to use something… something like that.”

“Yes. Hard,” he grinned widely, "and happy.”

Eyes behind the glasses rolled.

Joey noticed this is how Henry tries to mask his lack of confidence. He patted his friend’s shoulder.

Back then he used his observations for motivation instead of manipulation.

It’s funny how things change over time.

"We’ll make it,” corners of his mouth fell down a bit so the smile appeared to be more gentle, "You just have to believe.”

"Yeah, yeah,” Henry sighed and closed his eyes for a second, before looking up at his pal and reaching his hand to the one resting on his shoulder to grab it in a reacourging grasp, "Thanks, I will try my best. We will try our best. Right?”

Joey turned to look at the foundations of their workshop and released his hand from the touch. He repeated quietly but undoubtedly, "Right.”

Henry didn’t seem to notice weird reactions on his friend’s side and Joey was both relieved and disappointed by that.

He could have tried to make a move on Henry. Well, in fact, he has been trying. His crush already was in a few relationships before and he always waited them out and they always eventually passed.

(He had a bad feeling about this one.)

He didn’t want to interfere. He wanted Henry to be happy the way Henry wanted to be happy. It was the only fair way. But he didn’t see any dangers in his current one. Linda wasn’t… a threat.

(This time he didn’t have a girl just because of social pressures.)

He could try lying to himself, but in reality he was scared of rejection.

(Henry really loves her.)

What if that dream does not happen?

He closed his eyes for a moment. When they opened again, green irises shined with determination.

They will make it. Belief is all they had before and it’s all they need. It’s all he needs.

They will make their dreams come true.

It’s a funny thing.

How so much can fall apart so fast.

✪

He stretched his back and let out a silent groan. No, he needed to stand up, even for a few seconds. And so he did, all his limbs tried to go as far away from his torso as possible. Brain automatically got filled with air. That felt refreshing. He twisted and bent his body before sitting down again. Just as he was finished adjusting his chair, he heard steps coming from the closest room. He peeked his head to the corridor.

A tall figure approached a long table that Henry could only see a small fraction of from this position. The other person wore a black, long jacket, which shoulders were covered in snow, that also was slowly melting on the dark hair making it a bit wet. Joey put some bags in the middle of the table and came back where Henry's sight could reach him. He took off his gloves and threw them next to - how Henry suspected knowing his friend - some warm food he bought for both of them. Cold, currently slightly red hands, rubbed each other energetically and the man grinned.

"Want some coffee?”

"I want you to get your ass over here and help me," his smile was rather sour but shifted to a tired and calm one, "But sure. Just right after that – you stay there.”

"Right, right," Joey did a reassuring gesture and headed for the kettle. He wanted to get a proper break room someday, but Henry couldn't really see it right now. Irrelevant. For this room to have any use they would have to have proper breaks first. At that time everyone was working really hard.

Well they had to. But they wanted to.

Happily tired.

The animator sighed.

After a while his friend was in Henry's little corner with something to fill his stomach and give a little boost to his head. Henry muttered some thanks and tried not to consume everything at once.

It wasn’t the first time he forgot to eat during drawing. Always, even when he did this as a hobby, he since had that problem. This didn't strike anything alarming in regards to his job, though.

He hasn't become aware of his workaholism yet.

Even Linda wasn't concerned yet, they haven't seen each other since that whole thing started but they both tried their best to stay positive. Of course there will be challenges on the way, especially at the beginning. But they won't give up, no, sir.

Joey took a sit on the other chair present in the room, which he once brought in and never got out. It was its only use as no one really needed to come here except for them. Wally or Norman were coming every now and then, but those visits never really required sitting.

Joey let Henry eat in peace and before asking anything, he took a look on what the shorter man was working on. He crossed his legs and studied the frames.

"Aw, that's no fun. I can't even criticize you for anything. Those look perfect,” his tone was mostly playful but with bits of pure admiration. Henry fought the want to hide behind an exaggerated modesty by declining every compliment which dared to tickle his ego. He couldn't just take it though, so he responded with a teasing joke.

"I would introduce my foot to your crotch if you did after last Friday,” he found himself only half joking. He knew Joey well and he was aware of their problems with perfectionism, especially in his pal's case, but the first time it occurred to him as a bigger issue was the aforementioned Friday. Joey didn't accept that character model but he didn't have to reject all those frames Henry did with it...

Joey's lips slightly twitched.

"Sorry. I'll make up for it. No business trips for the whole week.” Joey put one hand on his chest and raised the other, at which his friend chuckled a bit. He meant it and that was enough for Henry. That's great when you have a friend as your boss. You know you can trust him.

"Well then, let's begin!” Henry beamed at him. They assigned what needed to be done by which one of them and set goals for today, each day and the whole week. Deadline was closing in but they still had loads of time. They could do this. Joey moved to the other room with such a strong aura, he wasn’t even taking normal steps, but made small leaps, which made Henry choke on his coffee.

At moments like this you could say they were getting high on believing.

✪

No.

The smiling devil was mocking him.

No.

He turned another paper sheet into a ball and threw to trash.

He let out a silent sigh when he put the pen back in action and his wrist sent a complaining sensation.

No, Henry, we can't go on like this.

She said.

Wrong again.

He tore the sheet apart.

No.

He couldn't work like this.

He had to.

He felt something hot and wet in his eyes.

No.

He needed to be better. He couldn't lose her.

He took the pen back in his fingers and it was at the moment his hand twitched and emitted hurtful spasms through his arm when the water broke through the barrier of his bottom eyelashes.

He grabbed his right hand with the left one. The pen fell on the wooden boards.

Defeated.

"No...”

"Henry...?”

He almost jumped in his seat. Glasses bent askew when he turned his head to the source of the voice.

Joey.

He started wiping of the tears. It wasn’t really effective since he didn't even bother to take the glasses off. He just didn't want his boss... his friend to see him like this.

Well. Too late for that now.

Joey leaned back on his desk. A few months have passed since they started it all and the second chair was moved out of here.

Surprisingly for both of them it didn't take much for Henry to start venting. He never realised how much he has been keeping to himself. How much has bothered him. How bad he felt.

How afraid he was of talking about it with anyone. And his best friend he used to talk with about everything... was a part of the problem.

Heavy thing clenching onto his heart disappeared as he felt relief after Joey's reaction.

Understanding.

He was almost afraid they wouldn't get along as they used to.

Many things weren't as they used to be.

"Linda will be so happy,” Henry sniffed for the last time and used the tissues to stop his face from looking like a mess, "And right now we need every bit of happiness we can get. We planned some big things but... I don't know, maybe they are too big for us...”

"Nonsense!”, Joey exclaimed before he bit his own tongue, "There is nothing on the way to your dreams, Henry. Nothing.”

"I start to feel as if this idea sounds nice only on paper," that's what the animator said, but Joey as an experienced leader and manager knew what his employer meant: convince me. Motivate me.

"Okay, listen to me, dear pal," he put his arm on Henry's shoulder and leaned in a bit so their heads were on the same level, "Of course the idea sounds easier on paper! All ya gotta do is write it! Now – action – is what requires more commitment. But what would you get from just that paper? Welp, nothing, nada, zero.”

"Alright, I get you, please-"

"Do you kind of want it or WANT IT WANT IT?!”

Henry let out a frustrated groan but muscles on his face betrayed him and he smiled and he hated it.

"I want it. I want her.”

"Then get the hell out and make your future wife happy.” he said it as an order but it was one Henry will one hundred percent willingly listen to.

This was a good moment. There has been a lot of stressful situations recently around the studio. Everyone knew what they wanted, everyone knew what to do to achieve what they wanted. It was just... hard. And they had to do their best to be happy.

Joey tried really hard to make it a happy workplace. He might have gotten a bit harsh sometimes but never let his guard of positivity down. Workers were fast to lose trust but slow to regain it. He was trying his damn best and hasn't realised he was pushing his best friend too hard.

He felt awful.

He had to do this, stuff needed to be done, but today? No, he couldn't.

Henry was crying. He had to let him go home, even if that meant he will spent time with his fiance instead of him. Or more like working for him.

But that would make him unhappy. Henry was unhappy for a longer time.

He sat back and lifted his chin up to look at the ceiling.

Most important person in his life was unhappy because of most important thing in his life.

Oh, dear.

Henry's spirit was definitely lifted up when Joey watched him exit the building. He felt an unpleasant feeling in his stomach when he noticed that – almost as if the workshop was some sort of prison. That just felt wrong. But he was glad for his friend. The animator needed rest anyway.

Anyway... what the hell was he doing? Drawing with a hurting hand? Did he really think Joey is some kind of monster that would make him-

No.

He realizes he clenched his fists. His fingers got released right away.

Well. Is he?

No. Calm down. Henry finds it hard to stand up for himself. He never complains! No wonder he just literally exploded from everything he kept inside! Joey never had any problems with giving him feedback or going on and on about what was going inside that idea-pumping head of his, but to be fair he didn't really have any serious issues himself.

(bullshit)

(liar)

The dark haired man shook his head.

They both felt the unpleasant breath of incoming deadline on their backs. Henry was probably too occupied with his mind today to, well, mind going home. But Joey was fully aware.

Oh, well! Who is supposed to make the impossible happen if not him?

He picked up the pen and then he picked up where Henry left off. He felt tired, but only physically (right?) which was something he surely could stand. Unfortunately he had to focus more on the business stuff but some time in the future he planned to hire an entire management department and join Henry in the art one. He could look for more animators first but...

His eyebrows frowned and he bit his bottom lip.

...he didn't want to. Later.

Why?

Oh, obviously because-

Because...

Bendy looked so off model, Joey just stared at the sketch in pure surprise.

Oh, right, he cheered himself up, after that time period some warm ups are necessary.

The amount of time he spent warming up to get the frame right was a bit disappointing, but he kept going.

He was so absorbed by the work, he didn't (want to think) hear the steps approaching him.

"Gee golly. Is that really you, sir?” the janitor's eyebrows instantly rose up as he reached the end of the hall.

Drew gave him an unfocused look and blinked a few times.

"What," he didn't even articulate the question.

"Um, uh, ya know, I'm just doin' the usual, haha,” Wally wasn't sure what to make out of his boss' tone, so his reply was kind of nervous, "Gotta clean up the place!”

The look on Franks face woke Joey up from that strange state of hyperfocusing.

"Oh!” without any reason to he stood up. Just a second after he realized, but didn't sit back, he approached the worker, stretching his back, "Can't you do this later, my boy?”

"It's already after hours, sir," the smile on Wally's face told Joey two things. First: get some rest, old man. Second: I better get overtime for this.

Oh, he heard that second one so often. Not today.

"Forget it. Go home, Wally.”

"Oh, no problemo, I can wait.”

"Wally.”

"Alright, alright," Franks reassured him to back out of his extra work plan by replying with the strongest accent he could pull off, which Joey couldn't help but find amusing. Such personality! Would make a great character trait.

"You can leave the mop here," as Joey continued Wally twisted his head to one side in curiosity. Kinda like a dog, "I will use it later.”

"Wow, mister Drew, you do Henry's job, now mine. When are ya goin’ to write a song?”

"Very funny, Franks.” Joey sent him a tired smile. "I mean – Wally. Quit the mister Drew, please.”

"You got it!” Joey half expected him to salute. Wally Franks might not be the sharpest tool in this shed, but he sure tries his best to be one and works both hard and happy. He would never regret hiring such a character. Good for the janitor, Joey never cared much about papers and qualifications. There were many things to hate this place for but also many things to appreciate. Maybe even love. Like this little comedy he knew he could expect from the boy always walking with his head in the clouds, "Good thing, I don't hafta go back to the closet! Phew! If I met Sammy down here, I wouldn't hear the end of it!”

"Keys?”

"Keys.”

Joey wasn't even slightly mad. That was just hilarious. Even though he was the one paying for a pair of new ones. Well, the studio was, but someone is responsible for it and is in its very name.

After Wally left, he kept working for a few more hours. He almost got the shot done when he felt a gentle touch on his shoulder.

He got up from the desk with a paper attached to his face. There were small spots of ink on his forehead and chin. He was really disoriented and looked at the person standing next to him with two cups of coffee with pure confusion.

Henry.

He was smiling but looked concerned.

"Damn me, I was afraid I will be too much behind so I got up earlier for work, but you..." he sounded genuinely touched, "Thanks.”

"You're welcome," Joey yawned and slowly got up, to which Henry responded by placing the cups on the desk and pushing him back to his place, "Wha-"

"You look like you're about to pass out,” despite his friend's tone, he could tell he wasn't really joking, "How long were you up?”

"Hell if I know," usually higher positioned shoulders now at a lower lever because of their owner's body being laid back in the chair shrugged, "What time is it?” he asked as he reached out for the cafeine.

"Eight.”

Joey took the cup to his hands and simply stared at the surface of what was inside of it. He smiled in an unsettling way.

"I have a meeting at half past nine.”

"Oh,” Henry gasped in that emotionless way of his but in the name of self-awareness added a more concerned: "Shit.”

"Yeah," a loud slorp could be heard.

"Is it important?”

"Yeah.”

"Are you gonna go there?”

"Yeah.”

"Do you want to?”

"Kinda.”

"Do you kind of want it, or-" Henry tried hard not to wheeze as Joey gave him an annoyed look, "want it, want it?”

There was a moment of silence.

"I don't.”

They both laughed hysterically.

Kinda.

✪

First year anniversary party managed to lift up everyone's moods a bit but not long after that event it faded away. They kept pushing but kept losing enthusiasm. It was even harder to stand that grin.

The one Bendy posters have.

The one Joey Drew has.

Said man entered the corridor to the left after coming through the entrance. He stood quietly and watched his only animator work.

He realized it's been some time since they had a normal conversation. He can't deny this feels wrong. He feels... awkward... out of place...

He hesitated to start speaking. It was Henry who sensed someone's presence and looked in his direction.

"Hi," he only slightly raised his eyebrows, "What do you want?”

"Oh? Is it forbidden to just come to see your pal now?” he tried hard to mask his stress and make the tone sound convincing. Henry's sad smile as a reply made him somewhat relieved.

"No. But I need to work on this if I want to get out of this place today," that used to be a joke.

Joey immediately run back to the previous room and returned with a chair.

"Move yo ass.”

"Come on, you don't have to-"

"It's been months since I used a pen for anything else than my signature or script writing. I. Want. To. Draw.” he really did, Henry was almost jealous of his friend's excitement towards drawing. It was only becoming less and less fun for the shorter man.

"Okay, then, here," he gave a folder to Joey and explained what needed to be done.

It was quite pleasant to have some company. Joey was working in the next room but they could shout things at each other. And they did.

Henry worked at a really fast paste. And very effectively on top of that. He didn't realise that himself but there has been quite some time since he heard an actual compliment about his work. He lacked motivation. Maybe that's why not long after Joey started, he went out of his hall and approached his friend's desk.

"Hey, I wanted to ask how you feel about those back-"

Joey has been scribbling circles.

Henry blinked.

This whole time.

"What the-"

"I can't get his stupid head. I'm so out of practice.”

"Are you serious?”

"I know I goof a lot, but not in the mood for it right now, Hen.”

"Ah," he was slightly taken aback by the nickname. It's been so long, "Maybe you want less Bendys and I'll give you some Borises instead? It's good to try different things.”

"Yeah, that does sound good”, Joey gave him a thankful smile.

Henry didn't dare to show him his backgrounds. He thought something but pushed it away.

No way it would demotivate Joey. Nothing was able to bring this man down. Right?

So they kept drawing.

Later, without anything to show this time, Henry came to him again to check how things were going.

Their little devil darling looked on model, just the way he should be.

When he glanced at the Boris Joey was sketching, he almost froze. He saw a mistake repeated on a few sketches already.

"You won't make me correct all the frames to give him a tail, will you?” he let out a nervous chuckle. Joey furrowed his brows as he studied what he made.

He gazed upon Henry who could see something shifting through his boss’/friend's face but couldn’t quite catch it.

"You're tired.”

"I'm tired.” Joey nodded slowly.

He muttered thanks for reminding him and went back to work. So did Henry. As the animator sat down on his own place, he wondered why did this little thing bother him so much.

Because? It's no big deal, right? Everyone makes mistakes.

After something around twenty minutes, Joey took careful steps while going to Henry's desk. He held some paper sheets and a pen. His face was covered by some undefined mask, so hard to guess what he felt at this moment.

Henry guesses he was... embarrassed? Afraid?

Why?

"Can you... show me how the details on Boris’ overalls look like?” his tone was so quiet, Henry got the impression it wasn’t even Joey speaking.

"Sure," he took out one of the concept arts he barely touched now since the designs of the characters were basically engraved on his memory. He smirked teasingly, "What kind of director doesn't know his own characters?”

That was supposed to be a joke.

Gritted teeth and pencil moustache pointed down told him someone didn't take it as one.

"You don't have to remind me about that," he hissed and pretty much threw all the stuff at the desk, "I'm done.”

"No, I didn't mean- Wait, what? What are you-"

"I'm done. I can't... do this anymore.”

"Um, hello? Are you listening to yourself?” Henry pulled out a nervous smile which was supposed to resemble his concern, "You just need-"

"Practice, yeah, no shit," Joey sighed heavily and crossed his arms, "But I don't have the goddamn time.”

Henry just blinked and stared at him. Joey finally realized what was coming out of his mouth.

"I... I'm sorry. I wanted to help you but-"

"No, it's fine. Don't worry ab-" Henry reached for his shoulder to lay a hand on it but Joey flinched back.

"I'm not worried. Of course it's fine. Now excuse me, I won't waste any more of our time-"

"Hey! No! It's... it's okay if it's not fine, we can talk about thi-"

"No need to. It's fine,” it was the first fake smile Henry remembered after finally quitting the studio.

"I don't believe that. Can you just... stop running away from talking about what's really bothering you?” he approached the tall man.

"I have no idea what you're talking about,” he turned away, planning to exit the room.

"It's okay to admit something is wrong!” Henry grabbed his arm.

Before he gets pushed with an unexpected force, he saw Joey in a completely new form. His friend's face was furious. Paper and pens fell from the desk on the ground. An ink well spilled out its content on a few pages by shattering on top of them. Henry hit the wooden structure with his back and the blue eyes watched the green ones in disbelief.

Joey's expression instantly changed. He looked at the other's face, not sure what to say. Seemed like he tried to state something but failed as his mouth opened and closed.

He exited the room in a hurry.

✪

Joey has been sitting in his office for quite a while now. Motionless. Staring at his desk. At an envelope laying on it to be precise.

He was away for a few days so he missed the biggest news going around the studio right now. On the way to this room he noticed some people gossiping and there was an unusual excited atmosphere.

Subconsciously, he knew what was inside of it. The thought just didn’t form inside of his head.

With a slightly shaking hand, he reached for the paper and cut it carefully with a letter opener.

He noticed the biggest word right away and lost his breath.

BEFORE THEY SAY

"I DO”

KINDLY JOIN US FOR THE

WEDDING

UNITING

LINDA & HENRY

After that there were written the date, the place and his own name but he paid no mind to those.

The invitation was put back down slowly, the fingers holding it twitching.

Tall, thin body was unusually still. Looked calm.

But wasn’t.

It’s over.

He stood up and a noise of something shattering could be heard. He felt a pain in his arm as he looked at it being stretched. He stared almost blindly at the wall and hardly noticed a big stain on it. Then his mind went back to focus. There was glass on the floor and on a chest of drawers which stood under the ink splatter. He remembered to breathe again, which he continued to do heavily, and then slowly approached the furniture to study what he’s done.

He appeared to just have thrown an inkwell.

Oh, what a mess.

Nothing like the one inside his head.

Joey pulled out the drawers. Various things ended up flying out of them. Documents, pens, stamps, keys, you name it. Falling wood made cracking sounds as it hit the ground.

He went around the room pulling his hair.

The man passed a wine rack which he pushed furiously. Alcohol spilled on the wood and the luxurious carpet covering it.

He stopped walking ending back again at the desk. With one swing of the long arm, he managed to push everything off it’s surface. There was something wet on his sleeve and he raised it up to his face with disgust, expecting to see ink.

But it was red.

And it hurt.

It must have been the letter opener.

He almost collapsed on his back, but the chair behind him broke the fall, so he ended up sliding down it. His legs were pointed at different directions, his body in general looked like an abandoned doll. The bleeding arm rose to the chest and was being hugged to it by the other one. It was now, when everything else went quiet, nothing was shattered or thrown, that he heard sounds which only a hurt animal could have made.

It slowly got through to him that he was sobbing uncontrollably.

His limbs slowly woke up from that weird apathetic state and along with head started coming together to one point – curled into a ball.

Hide.

Stop.

From what? Stop what?

What…?

He didn’t want to think.

He didn’t want anything.

Not anymore.

He…

He just can’t have it.

He can’t have him.

No matter what he does. Nothing really matters. He can’t succeed.

THIS ISN’T SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS!

His whole body trembled.

This isn’t right, this isn’t fair, this can’t be like this, he has to… he… he just needs to…

He has always believed you can achieve anything if you try hard enough. If you believe. If you keep going. At some point that dream will come true.

He fell on his side and put a fist inside his mouth to silence his own scream.

LIES. LIES. LIES.

What was right is wrong. Nothing is the way it’s supposed to be.

He felt that… toxic… desire… to get what he wants.

But the problem was… he didn’t want something. He wanted someone.

Henry isn’t and can’t be your damn property, you stupid piece of garbage. How pathetic can you be?

Dreams are supposed to be your power…

He choked on his tears, but that didn’t stop him from laughing.

…but they can also be your downfall.

✪

This was not what he dreamt of. He run his hand through his brown hair with ending that movement on the neck to give it a small massage. It ached a bit, his back did as well. And his hand.

Henry sighed. He was so tired.

Why won’t Joey hire more animators? They should afford to do so, and even if it was risky, they would rather benefit from it in the future as there would be less dangers of not meeting the deadlines. He managed to do everything alone but at what cost…

A wrinkle appeared on his forehead.

Joey won’t even help him anymore. And his name is in the goddamn-

He released the breath he was holding.

Time passed and things only seemed to get worse.

He put his hands on the Bendy sketch he was working on. He grasped one of the fingers and studied it.

He designed the main character. Heck, two main characters.

He gently touched and twisted the golden ring.

Does he want to live in his shadow?

Does he live in it?

Should he quit? What would happen to them? What job would he look for?

He didn’t want to think about this.

They wanted to start a family. He couldn’t be absent in their children’s life.

He needed to think about this.

Blue eyes closed.

Should he quit…?

✪

There was an unpleasant silence in the office. Heavy atmosphere hanging in the air.

Old friends sat on opposing sides of Joey’s desk.

They couldn’t look each other in the eyes. No one wanted to start speaking.

Henry asked for talking about something. Something important. Privately.

Joey exhaled deeply and looked up at the other one’s face.

"What-"

"I quit.”

Dark haired man blinked. Corners of his mouth rose but the smile didn’t reach the green irises.

"Let’s take it slow from here, okay? Tell me what’s the problem.”

"What isn’t a problem, Joey?” Henry didn’t expect himself to raise his voice. At least not so early, "Short answer is: I’m not happy here.”

Drew folded his hands and put them on the countertop.

"Could you elaborate on that?” his voice didn’t show anything except for impatience.

The animator swallowed his saliva.

"I’m working alone and it’s just too much work for one person, it’s entirely consuming my life-"

"Well, it’s like this in this bus-"

"I’ve become a fucking workaholic, Joey.”

"I… I’m sorry to hear that…”

"Haven’t you noticed?”

"Noticed what? How am I supposed to know what’s going on inside your head? You never tell me anything, you just wait till it all bursts out in one moment, and look what it lead to now.”

"Oh, well I… thought you knew me a bit better and were aware of some changes. I’ve been lying to myself because I have an addiction. And everyone around me seemed to notice. Everyone but you.”

"I thought you liked drawing.”

"I love drawing.”

"What’s the matter then?”

"That I’m a goddamn wreck, maybe that’s what. I’m… sort of… miserable… because of it… If it wasn’t for Linda, I surely would drown the sorrows in alcohol. Almost added drinking to the list of my problems, but she-"

"Oh, thank God, Linda is here.”

Henry didn’t miss the sarcasm in Joey’s tone.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

"She’s convinced you to quit for her, hasn’t she?”

"What? No! Well, we did talk about it, but it’s not like… This is MY decision, I’m doing this for my own sake… Well ours too but…” he shook his head and continued more angrily, "Are you suggesting that she’s… she’s… I don’t know, sabotaging?”

Joey didn’t stop his shoulders from shrugging and Henry could feel his teeth grit.

"I’ll tell you what,” he stood up, "The only person sabotaging anything here is you…”

"Henry, please, sit down-"

"You manipulative asshole.”

His boss gave him a dead stare.

Silence came back for a plenty of seconds, even worse to handle than before.

"You took my designs. You always used pretty words and ideas to get around it but the truth is you stole it from me.”

Joey listened to the accusations without showing any emotions. His mouth only once twitched.

"I won’t let you steal anything else.”

As a confirmation of his words, he turned around and headed for the door. When he pressed the handle, a cold, empty tone reached his ears and sent a shiver down his spine.

"Don’t you dare leave.”

Henry ignored it and walked out of the room. He was aiming his steps at the exit.

He felt as if his head was burning.

This is all wrong. How did they end up like this. Why is it hap-

"WHY AREN’T YOU LISTENING TO ME?!”

Against his will, his body faced the man following him.

Green eyes emitted fury and Henry experienced an irrational fear.

Of course he was mad. This was a hard situation for both of them. But it had to be like this.

It shouldn’t have to.

"I’m leaving. You can’t change my mind.” he replied in apologetic tone, even though he knew he wasn’t the one owning the apologies.

"What the fuck did she put into your head?” Joey asked in a disappointed tone and raised his arms in confusion.

"Leave her out of this. She has nothing to do with-"

"Oh, yeah?! Well, everything was okay before she started putting her fucking nose in places it didn’t belong,” taller man approached the shorter one, who was backing out carefully.

"I just told you to not involve her,” Henry growled, "You don’t even realise you’re the problem, don’t you?”

"Ah, of course!” he shouted and hit his forehead with right hand, completely forgetting they were in the hall where anyone passing could witness this scene. Luckily for them no one was there to see it.

Or maybe unfortunately.

"I forgot that three is a crowd.”

"What…?”

Joey immediately stopped and went silent. He was standing right in front of Henry, who also was done moving. Both of them were panting.

Both angry like they’ve never been.

A realization hit Henry like a train. He opened his eyes wide.

He was wrong. Many years from that moment he understood what was actually… the case…

But for now…

"You’re fucking sick,” now he took a step forward, "Just how controlling can you get?”

"What is that now, huh? What else have I done?”, Joey muttered but his tone seemed to have lost some fury, the loss being replaced with… fear?

That came to Henry as nothing else but a conclusion. Guilty.

He grabbed his best friend by the collar.

"You want to pull me away from her,” he hissed and his voice wasn’t ever as dangerous as in that moment.

Joey didn’t reply but his expression revealed his bewilderment and that somehow made Henry’s blood boil with rage. He rapidly pushed him away, long legs almost tripping over each other.

"You’re fucked in the head.”

"Henry-"

"I can’t believe I let you waste so much of my time, my energy… my… my life…”

"Listen to me-"

"No,” he cut him off and pushed again along with letting out a furious cry: "What the hell were you thinking?!”

"It’s not like this!” Joey noticed Henry getting ready to push him once more and tried to somehow stop his hands.

"Then how, huh?!” he went straight past Joey’s weak arms and grabbed him again, "How is it?!”

"I was just… I-I…” now he was the one pushing, anger suddenly kicking in and increasing his strength, "I was doing what had to be done to achieve our dreams!”

"Our dreams?” then Joey was the one backing out, "Or just yours?”

"I… I thought those were the same,” voice coming out from under the pencil moustache cracked.

"Well… maybe they were…” the animator’s tone calms down a bit as they reached an intersection of corridors. Behind Joey’s back was a place under construction which was going to be a break room. It was kinda upsetting Henry won’t even get to experience it. Would be nice… but at his position he probably wouldn’t even have a chance, "But not anymore.”

He held Joey’s vest with only one hand. He was ready to let go but-

"THEY ARE! IT’S ALL BECAUSE OF THIS FUCKING SLUT!”

Something red covered Henry’s vision. He didn’t know what was happening until he heard a loud thud. He blinked.

There was a smell of blood. His hand hurt and was wet. Blood on his hand. But what was that-

Again. Thud.

His eyes followed the noise.

There was a small trace of red dots leading to the beginning of the stairs.

Thud.

His chest suddenly felt heavy.

If he had air in his lungs, he would scream his friend’s name.

But he didn’t.

There was only one sound.

Thud.

And then silence.

A few seconds have passed before Henry finally moved. To him it could have been as well years. His legs felt like they were made out of iron.

Joey never realized he fell down the stairs. He was unconscious before he even fully registered being punched in the face by the person he only ever cared about.

For some reason there was one thing he remembered from that accident. Very clearly.

A sign he saw while the world was upside down.

"WATCH YOUR STEP”

Henry’s eyes stung. Hot tears rolled down his cheek as he watched the body at the bottom of the stairs. He would have sworn to God, he didn’t see it breathing.

Someone was coming.

People.

They will know.

Everyone will know.

Henry whispered a voiceless "sorry”.

He left in a heartbeat.

✪

There’s not enough air. There’s not enough air. There’s not enough air. There’s not-

Henry.

There were flashes.

Joey woke up in cold sweat and wanted to sit but wasn’t able to and it hurt it hurt it hurt it hurt like hell.

There was light. Right above him.

And a face.

Henry?

It was a doctor.

The doctor told him many funny things.

Why was it funny?

Well, because it was a joke, of course! It just couldn’t be true! So it must have been a joke!

It! Was! So! Funny!

He was in a hospital. There were more people in the room, trying to calm him down.

They said he was having a hysteria attack.

How was that possible? It was not.

They’re joking!

They’re lying!

Isn’t joking just funny lying?

He didn’t feel his legs. He couldn’t use his arms properly.

They told him he had a spine injury. That he probably won’t be able to walk. Or at least not much, unless he’s really lucky. But they should focus on saving his arms.

They were so silly.

They said he won’t make it for too long. His body was so fragile right now, it was a matter of months until it shuts down completely.

So, so silly.

He asked for Henry.

Nobody told him anything except for that he had a concussion and shouldn’t have any visitors for a while.

Time passed. He barely noticed from all the drugs they gave him.

Then his head started to feel clearer.

He realized they weren’t lying.

He told them he didn’t remember what happened.

He was the one lying.

He was having visitors. Henry was not among them.

But there was the janitor.

The janitor…

Oh!

Franky!

Like a cute version of Frankenstein!

No, wait, it’s Wally!

Wally Franks. The janitor. A really important visitor.

Joey asked him for a favour.

✪

Wally looked around with confusion and scratched his head. He rang the bell again and held it for a longer while. Then he knocked and shouted out Henry’s name a few times.

Well, time to give up. He obviously wasn’t home. His car wasn’t even on the driveway.

Mister Drew just seemed… it just seemed really important to him. And he didn’t want to bring bad news to him, considering the situation his boss was in.

Speaking of the news, there was a stack of newspapers just laying on the pavement.

No one was there since a longer time.

The janitor didn’t need to count them to know the amount of days it took to deliver these was equal to the amount of days which passed since… the incident.

He even asked some people.

No one knew where Henry was. Same about Linda.

Something was telling Wally they were out of town.

Probably for good.

✪

He let out an unhealthy chuckle after he was done writing the letter.

Why does he keep doing it? No one even reads those. And never will.

Without knowing Henry’s current address, he just kept sending mail to his old one. No one lived in it anymore because it wasn’t for sale and it couldn’t be even considered a property belonging to the town, because they’ve got nothing on him.

That’s because Joey never made any statements about what happened. He faked a memory loss. Some people speculated about him remembering what happened, some tried talking to him about it, pointing out how his disappearance happened at the same time his accident did.

But he didn’t tell anyone.

Police would have to start looking for him. He could ruin his life.

And ruin what was left of his own life. But that would also take away his only achievement.

The studio. The characters they argued about amongst other things.

If he took out Henry’s trash, his old friend would probably return the favour.

He couldn’t move his legs at first but after some rehabilitation he managed to use crutches from time to time. On rare occasions he stood with a cane but didn’t really move with it.

His arms were really weak, but got stronger after he started using the wheelchair. Only the dominant left one was really usable though.

✪

The demon touches his glove with the uncovered right hand. His whole body is cold but this part seems almost comfortable.

✪

He sometimes was coming to the art department to watch the animators work. He has hired many after-

He never really paid attention to them though. The only desk he really looked at was the empty one outside the area they were working in.

Despite everything, he couldn’t bring himself to get rid of it.

✪

Old man pants heavily as he escapes inky black stains whirling all around him. He reaches a corridor without a proper floor, only wooden boards put together in hurry to make a provisional bridge.

He can hear the Ink Demon closing in.

Henry takes his steps carefully. Falling would probably cause him to break his spine in half.

He thinks of the vertebrae sticking out of the deformed Bendy’s back.

He notices a sign at the end of the hallway. It’s upside down.

"WATCH YOUR STEP”

[frederator-studios]

Bird Banfe: The Frederator Interview

You might be surprised, talking to people in the animation industry, at how rare it is to encounter a still-kicking passion for cartoons. Bird Banfe is, to borrow Drake’s term, a real one. A recent SCAD Grad with mad Storyboarding skills, a deep investment in Scooby Doo and a penchant for pink, Bird's enthusiasm for her craft emanates from her, an enlightened power not unlike those of the magical girls she grew up idolizing. Hearing Costume Quest’s Production Coordinator speak with conviction, knowledge and love for the shows that shaped her, and those she now helps shape, it’s abundantly clear that her passion is an unstoppable force, and when it comes to Bird’s dreams, my sense is that it’s never been a question of ‘whether’—simply one of ‘when’.

How did you break into the animation industry?

I got the chance to intern at Nickelodeon during my last year at SCAD, on Spongebob. Totally by accident!

Cool! How does one “accidentally” become a Nicktern?

The Dean of our school was PO’d because Nick representatives were visiting campus, but it was finals and nobody knew, so people weren’t showing up. My friend who worked in the animation building called me up and was like, “Hey, there are Nick people here doing general interviews. Come do one!”

So you bailed on whatever you were doing and went?

Yeah! I had like 30 minutes to throw on an outfit, a little makeup. I thought it went awful. Which is how you can expect an interview to go, with no preparation and barely any clue what it’s for. I didn’t hear anything for a couple months, so I figured, eh, good learning experience. Then on the last day of school, I got a call at like 9pm from an unknown number, and didn’t pick up. They left a voicemail - and it was my interviewer! She said she had something to tell me. I was like, “What?! It’s been two months! This could still be a thing?!”

And on the last day of school!

The last day of school - period. I was driving home to New Jersey the next day. No job lined up, flipping out. We got in touch, I waited a bit more, then I got a call from the Spongebob team. From a Skype interview with them, I got the job.

What were your responsibilities on Spongebob?

The same as a PA. Handling files for artists, organizing things, picking up tasks to help the production along. On Spongebob specifically, I did a lot of archiving backgrounds. The show has these beautiful, physical painted backgrounds. Handling those was probably the coolest part of the job. It got really weird sometimes. It’d be like, “Here is the interior of Patrick’s mouth and it’s really gross.” And I’d have to search around to label it, because they go into Patrick’s mouth in like 3 different episodes.

Wow, so you became the in-house expert on Patrick Star mouth shots.

It was a lot of fun! I learned a lot about how animation works. In art school, they don't teach you anything about production. I didn't know what to expect, or really what was expected of me! I'm good at organizing, I know Photoshop, and I work really hard. Those things carried me through the internship.

Backing way up - when did you know you wanted to work in animation?

A lot later than most people would say. I wasn’t drawing on the walls when I was two. I was drawing! But about as much as any kid would. I wanted to be a Veterinarian for most of my life. In sophomore year of high school though, I realized I have a lot of story ideas, and original characters - all the stuff that kids who really like anime would have. And I knew I’d go insane if I didn’t have a creative job. That decided it for me. Not, “I really want to do this!” more, “I can’t imagine a world where I’m satisfied with a different career”.

So as a junior and senior, you geared yourself toward animation?

Yeah - my Uncle was working in visual effects, mainly for superhero movies, so I knew someone ‘who does that’. I knew it was an option, not an intangible dream. I was in art classes throughout high school, because they were fun. But then I started going to an art studio after school to take animation, painting, and life drawing classes - the last of which was a big shock to me.

Oh, wow - you did all the right things!

When you know people who do it, they’ll tell you! “Go take your life drawing classes—there are no other kids in high school drawing naked people, you’ve gotta do it”. I got advice from a lot of people and followed it the best I could. I applied to a bunch of art schools for animation, though none in California. Not even CalArts - wasn’t even a blip on the radar (off my surprise) It was too far for my family! We picked Savannah, and I’m really glad. I had a great time at SCAD.

What did you like best about animation at SCAD?

It was a good fit for my personality. I was very much the go-getter in college - you know, a try-hard. And the school has a ton of great resources if you want to put in the work. SCAD is set up in a way where if you take advantage of everything that’s there, and are willing to work, you'll prosper.

Going into animation, did you have a focus in mind? 

I knew from my animation classes in high school on that I wanted to storyboard. I figured that out quickly, mostly because my teacher steered me toward it. He was like, “You’re good at this. You need to keep doing it.” I was like “Okay, will do.” (laughs) I think every role in animation is interesting, and I’m not too picky. I’m sorta glad somebody made that decision for me!

Are you now looking for avenues into storyboarding from production?

Definitely, but I’ve loved my time in production. I can’t see myself doing it forever, but, remember I said I was a big go-getter in college? I pushed myself really hard. I don’t want to say I burned out, but... I wanted time for myself. To learn how to be an adult, do things like cook for myself. Working in production has given me time to breathe and figure out what I value in the industry. 

For example - I was accustomed to that air of, “Oh, you want to be on a show with clout, a show that people know”. I realized on Spongebob how little that really means. Tell anybody in the industry you’re on Spongebob and they’ll go, “That’s cool” and maybe mention their friend on the show. It wasn’t ‘celebrity status’, you know? Maybe to my Grandma, but not to people here. I’ve come to see it’s much more important to find a team that really works with you, and Costume Quest was that team for me.

Did being part of a great team help you shelve the art anxieties?

Oh yeah. When I first started in production, part of me was like, “You need to get into art, now. You need to be doing this, this, and THIS you should have done yesterday!” Tons of pressure. But on Costume Quest, I realized, “These are really great people. I like being around them, I like coming to work every day. I don't want to leave.” So I decided I'd do everything I could with this show and this team. And that’s been very fulfilling. Not in a way that I expected—but in a way where I’ve learned about what I need in a workplace.

What’s your Big Goal in animation, if you have one now?

I always feel embarrassed saying this, because I'm just starting out. But I have lofty goals of being a Creator. I just want to make something that’s important to young girls growing up. Thinking about the things that were important to me as a little girl, I want to foster that.

What kinds of Things?

Magical girl shows (laughs). Sailor Moon, Tokyo Mew Mew, Cardcaptor Sakura. The very ridiculous, very pink, frilly stories, where the message is usually “Love is the most powerful thing in the universe”. But I think those stories are really important! Empathy is important to teach people, and cartoons do that, today more so than ever. Plus, kindness is actually what kids want: when we tested our show, we got feedback that the kids didn’t like it when our characters were mean. When I was growing up, there weren’t as many US shows that talked about interpersonal dynamics, or hit on the empathy theme: “people are different from you, that’s why they behave differently.” That’s probably why anime was so fundamental to me then. Spongebob wasn’t talking about things that felt important to me at that age, but Naruto was. I’ve always been attracted to stories about people learning what it means to grow up and make the world a better place, and where the characters are fun to watch doing that. Costume Quest definitely is that, to me. I just really like all the characters.

Who are your favorite of the characters? Which ones do you identify with?

I definitely identify with Wren the most—which is not something I should admit to. Very much the stubborn, rough-and-tumble personality. I look at her and go, “Yup, that’s me as a kid.” My favorite character is Rudy, which is really weird. It’s that crazy YouTube-popstar personality - the one associated with “YouTube celebrity” which I just find hilarious. And I love Reynold. I like the dynamic between him and Wren the best.

Do you have a favorite episode of Costume Quest?

My favorites are always the Reynold ones, because they have so much heart. You really feel for the kid. He goes through a lot, and he cares a lot; there’s just no way you can’t. I’ll say “Scout’s Honor”. Of all the episodes we’ve done, that’s probably the one that puts a smile on my face the most. The board artists and writers packed a lot of funny stuff in there, and I love singing along with it.

What have you liked best about working on Costume Quest?

The people, first of all. And it’s just a good show. I live for those moments where I can watch something then go to my friend later and be like, “Remember that part?” and crack up about it. Costume Quest is a lot of that for me.

Anything you’d like future fans of the show to know?

Keep an eye out for a little clown doll. We got a haunted doll last summer, off eBay. His name is Little Richie and he moves around the office. It's so funny. It was actually Julian (interviewed here!) who decided to start hiding him in some of the backgrounds. So he’s now a fun little Easter egg - or a continuity error,  depending on the sense of humor of whoever you ask. It’s been so fun having him crop up all over the office. In the freezer, behind a plant. Suspended from the ceiling.

What are your favorite cartoons?

I love love love loved Scooby Doo as a kid. I still do. I love those ridiculous straight-to-video WWE crossovers. They are my guilty pleasure in every sense of the word. So bonkers. There’s John Cena standing next to Daphne. It's great. I was Scooby for Halloween for 5 years. I was obsessed, but not for any reason that I can parse today as an adult. I think I just like dogs. I really liked Chowder. That show, especially that style, stood out to me when I was deciding to pursue animation. Same with Flapjack, a similar vein of style and humor. And with both, it’s these lead characters who are just sweet kids, nothing but nice. Courage the Cowardly Dog I loved, even though I was the most easily scared kid in the world. You might think, “Oh, Scooby-Doo, Courage the Cowardly Dog, you must like scary things.” Not at all. I was deeply afraid. I just loved dogs that much. PowerPuff Girls was huge for me. These days, I have to keep up with every episode drop of Steven Universe or risk getting it spoiled. Star Versus and OK KO! are great too, and Ducktales I really enjoy putting on.

What are you working on now? Do you feel pretty motivated to go do your personal work after the work-day? 

My portfolio. And it’s hard. It’s really hard. It took time, but I’ve come to terms with that. You can’t burn yourself out. You have to put body first and figure out the balance you need in life, in order to be happy. I’m also the type that works a lot better in an office setting. So I’m prone to coming into the office at a weird time, if I actually want to get something done. At home, I never get anything done. Unless it’s Sunday. Sunday is my work day. Saturday’s my sleep day.

Bird is now Production Coordinator on Final Space. Follow her on Twitter. Costume Quest will premiere in 2019 on Amazon Prime Video - keep an eye out!

Thank you for the interview Bird! And for helping make Costume Quest the extraordinary show that it is <3

- Cooper ❀

[enixamyram]

Imagine a Jones-Mills family trip to Disneyland (because they’re ironic like that). Rumple has Blessing in a carrier strapped to his chest. Killian has Desiree on his shoulders. Zelena is pouting because she drew the short straw and has to carry the diaper bag. Robin insists on riding the Alice in Wonderland ride several times.

This one is so long, it might as well just be a oneshot rather than a CA short! Haha! Again, so much fun writing this out! It was honestly just… Yeah, it was just awesome! Thanks for the idea, Anon! 

   The sun was shining brightly overhead, there was barely a breeze to cool them down as they walked, the smell of cotton candy and other sugary snacks filled their noses and made their mouths water, and almost everywhere they turned, there was a swell of screams and cheerful cries from all the people crowding onto the various rides and entertainment around them. It was busy, like it was every day of the year, and the small group shuffled closely together in order to avoid being lost in the crowds.

   Sitting on her grandpa’s shoulders, Desirae sat open mouthed and wide eyed in awe of her colourful surroundings. She couldn’t look at all fast enough. Every time she looked in one direction, something new had appeared behind her and she rushed to look back again. She twisted and turned as much as she could, almost falling off several times, saved only by the light grip Killian kept on her ankles above her bright blue sandals. At one point she lay back against him, hanging upside down and letting her dark blue dress fall down, revealing a pair of pink frilly knickers underneath.

   “Desirae! Stop that! Sit up right now!” Zelena said, putting a hand on the younger girls back and pushing her into sitting position, brushing the material of her dress back around Killian’s neck.

   "She’s having fun, mum!” Robin laughed, glancing back at the three of them. “Don’t spoil it for her.”

   “She can have fun without flashing her underwear to the world.” Zelena said strictly.

   “You’re just bitter cause you pulled the short straw.” Killian smirked, raising an eyebrow at the children’s bags hanging off Zelena’s elbow. They held everything from a change of clothes, to spare diapers, to an incredible amount of sunscreen, to the endless bottles of juice and water to keep them hydrated. All of it would have her weighed down if not for the quick spell she had cast to make them as light as possible.

   Zelena scowled at him but turned ahead and pouted slightly, saying nothing. It really was unfair if you asked her. Especially since Rumple wasn’t even biologically related to either of the girls. Yet he had been a second father to Alice for many years before and during the cursed years, and had been as big a part of Desirae and Blessing’s life as she was.

   Not even the sight of Rumple could cheer her up about it. Although she had promised to take pictures for when she was in a better mood to tease him relentlessly once they got back home. After all, The Dark One in denim was nothing compared to The Dark One with a pink baby carrier strapped to his chest.

   Blessing sat in said carrier, cradled against Rumple’s chest, her short blonde hair curled slightly at the end and bouncing with every step. Though unlike her sister, she seemed far more entertained with the way her feet hovered so far off the ground than the cheerful screams and flashing lights on every other side around her. In fact she barely glanced up at all, and even that was only when one of her mothers paused to move back towards her tickling her underarms and causing her to look up and squeal at them.

   Striding in front of their daughters and parents, Alice and Robin were arm in arm, grinning from ear to ear as they looked at the amazing sights ahead. It was their first real holiday together, as a whole family, travelling somewhere completely new for once. It had taken them a while to agree on just where to go, but in the end, Disneyland won out. Because what better place to go, than where their stories were celebrated the most.

   “So what next?” Alice asked loudly, not bothering to look back any more.

   “Lunch!” Zelena suddenly cried, wincing at her next step. “I need to put my feet up already before they start bleeding out.”

   “I told you to wear proper shoes!” Robin complained, pausing to look back at her. “I said we’d be walking all day!”

   “Zelena’s stupid footwear aside,” Rumple said, leaning against a nearby sign. “She’s right. A break would be good. Not all of us are as young and fit as the two of you.”

   “But the day’s still young! And we have so much left to do!” Alice gasped excitedly.

   “We also have all weekend to do it,” Killian chuckled. “Come on, Starfish. We’ll take a lunch and then keep going until dinner.”

   Alice felt her face drop but glanced towards Desirae and Blessing guiltily. They were both very distracted at that moment (Desirae by a nearby water ride and Blessing by someone’ puppy as it walked passed) but she knew it was probably best to get them something to eat and drink anyway. And somewhere shaded would be good too. Even though they both wore sunhats and even though they were layered in protective cream (and a few protective spells) it would be nice to hide the somewhere with air-con for a decent meal. As much as she wanted to do more today, she also knew being a parent meant sacrificing for your child’s best interest over your own selfish wants.

   But then suddenly Robin was sliding an arm around her waist, pulling her close and grinning at the others. “Okay then, tell you what. You guys take the girls for lunch and rest your old aching feet. Meanwhile, Alice and I will go off for a few minutes of alone time.” She said cheerfully. “We’ll meet up after and continue the family fun together!”

   “That works for me.” Rumple nodded, pushing away from the sign and stretching his arms slightly as Blessing wriggled in her carrier.

   “What do you mean old?” Zelena demanded.

   “Great!” Robin said, ignoring her mother. “Call us when you’re ready to meet back up!”

   With that, she spun a squealing Alice around in a circle before pulling her off into the crowd. She already had the perfect place in mind where she wanted to take Alice. In fact she had wanted to take her there since they first entered the park early that morning. And now that they would be doing it alone, well, that just made it even better.

   Meanwhile, Killian paused, watch the two of them disappear before looking at the other two, smiling and waving towards the buildings to their right. “Shall we?”

Once*Upon*A*Time*At*Disneyland

   “So where are we going?” Alice asked, letting Robin lead the way since she clearly seemed to have a plan in mind, judging the way she was still pulling Alice along rather specifically.

   “Somewhere special.” Robin grinned, looking up at a sign before tugging Alice aside, not giving her a chance to read any of it.

   “You’re not going to tell me, are you.” Alice said, rolling her eyes.

   “Just be quiet and enjoy the private moments we have together,” Robin said, pausing long enough to kiss the side of her mouth.

   Alice smiled back at her. “I’m enjoying every moment. With you and with our family.” She sighed happily, leaning against Robin and shutting her eyes for a moment to enjoy the feeling in its entirety. “I never thought we’d reach this moment in our lives… It feels wonderful.”

   Robin came to a sudden stop. “Wonderful. Huh. Interesting choice of words.”

   Frowning, Alice opened her eyes and was immediately greeted with the sight of her smiling self beaming down at her. Or at least, the cartoon version of herself that this world had come up with for some bizarre reason. She stumbled back a step and looked up at the imagine, finally realising her cartoon picture was plastered on a poster that sat atop of a pink mushroom in front of Robin’s planned destination.

   “You’re kidding…” Alice said, looking at Robin in a mixture of genuine surprise and slight horror.

   However Robin was unaffected and just grinned back at her. “Well we’d better get in line!” She said, dragging Alice to where a crowd of people were already waiting to take their turn on Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland.

Once*Upon*A*Time*At*Disneyland

   “Oh it feels good to get off my feet!” Zelena gasped, sitting back and smiling as she pulled her shoes off, taking a quick bite from the sandwich she had brought for herself. “God, I wish Chad were here to give them a proper massage.”

   Rumple cringed at the thought and turned his attention back to Blessing, making sure she was drinking all her juice. He had her balanced on one of his leg, the carrier now hanging off of one shoulder to allow some of the minor breeze they had to catch and cool his sweaty chest. He reached over, grabbing his own water and downing half of it without pause, his own sandwich barely touched at this point. Once again, he missed his magic and the ability to keep himself feeling fresh no matter how long he marched for.

   “It’s a shame he couldn’t make it.” Killian nodded, once again doing his best to remain civil. He always had done, even before their daughters had fallen head over heels for one another.

   “I know,” Zelena sighed sadly. “Next time, for sure.”

   “Pan!” Rae suddenly gasped, grabbing onto Killian’s top to pull herself clumsily onto her feet, standing on his leg and leaning against him for support. “PAN!” She cried.

   “What?” Zelena frowned at the young girl.

   “PAN!” Rae shouted, pointing hard at something behind her.

   “Did someone say Pan?!” A new voice shouted out.

   Suddenly all the others sitting at the outside tables looked up. Several children cheered and squealed, jumping up and crying out like Desirae as they pointed over towards the figure who ran towards them, followed by several other excited audience members. It was a grown man dressed in green tights, with red hair and a green hat sitting on top. He danced towards them with a big smile and came to a stop right beside Rae’s table, leaning towards her.

   “Hey there, everyone!” He called happily.

   “Oh God,” Rumple mumbled, purposely turning himself and Blessing away, glad that Blessing had no interested in the actor dancing around them.

   “Pan!” Rae beamed happily, reaching for him.

   “That’s right! I’m Peter Pan!” The man beamed, standing back and putting his hands on his hips. “What’s your name? Are you a Lost Girl?”

   “No, she’s not.” Zelena said, also turning her body away, hoping he would get the hint and leave them.

   He did not.

   “Uh, oh. Someone’s grumpy.” The man playing Peter said, leaning towards where Rae was beaming up at him and where Killian was attempting to lean away - and would have, if not for the back of the chair preventing him from doing so. “But that’s okay, I know what’ll make her feel better. A story! Stories make everything better! Do you have any stories?” He asked with an eagerness that was eerily convincing.

   Rae hesitated, putting a finger between her teeth before she shook her head, smiling shyly at him.

   “You don’t? Oh man. I love stories!” Peter said, looking towards some of the other people sitting close by, including a pair of young teenagers taking pictures of him. “Do any of you knows any stories?”

   “Yeah…” One of the girls giggled nervously.

   “Well let’s hear it!” Peter said, leaping over the gate and stealing a seat, sitting beside Killian and Rae - far too close for Killian’s liking. “Tell us a story!”

   “What is happening?” Killian hissed, leaning towards Rumple with a look of confusion and awkward terror.

   “An actor. Playing the part of Peter Pan.” Rumple cringed. “Or at least, this worlds version of it.”

   “Are you ready for the story, Lost Girl?” Peter asked Rae.

   “Yeah!” Rae shouted, just as loud as the crowd around them.

Once*Upon*A*Time*At*Disneyland

   Sitting side by side in a cosy yellow cart with the cartoon caterpillar head at the front, the girls had chosen to settle at the back, and out of everyone else’s way. After they had started and disappeared into the first dark tunnel, it was easy for Alice and Robin to get a little lost with each other. Especially as they started out staring at one another, grinning it cheerful and reluctant excitement for what was to come. In fact, what started out as a friendly ‘are you ready for this’ kiss, quickly turned into a passionate make out session that lasted the whole of the ride, until they were broken apart by the flash of lights from the exit and the crowds watching closely while waiting for their turn.

   “Wow, that was fun!” Alice grinned suggestively, climbing from the ride and reaching to pull Robin out with her. “But we better go find papa and the others now.”

   “Oh no!” Robin said, grabbing Alice’s hand and dragging her to the back of the line. “We’re riding that again.” She looked at her. “Properly this time!”

   Remembering fondly how their last ride in the dark tunnels had gone, Alice allowed herself be dragged along with little resistance. “Fine by me.” She grinned, winking at her as they took their place and waited together.

Once*Upon*A*Time*At*Disneyland

   “That was a great story!” Peter shouted, jumping up and clapping excitedly in Killian’s ear, grinning when Rae joined in with him. Even Blessing finally looked up towards him, only to grow bored almost immediately and leaned back against Rumple, eyes growing heavy.

   “Ugh, can you go away now?” Zelena grumbled.

   Peter, finally seeming to get the hint, gave an extravagant bow to her and the other tables. “If you say so. I better go find Tink! We’ve got some more adventures to have.” He jumped back over the gate, pausing to wave at Rae. “Bye, bye, Lost Girl!”

   “Bye bye!” Rae shouted, waving her free hand at him while the other continued to cling to Killian.

   “Thank God,” Rumple breathed, turning back around again and twisting Blessing in his arms until she was comfortable.

   “You can say that again. Now let’s get out of here already. It’s about time we met the girls before that idiotic man child comes back.” Zelena said, collecting the bags back into her arms.

   Unfortunately it seemed they spoke too soon. Suddenly another voice shouted over the crowd and drew the attention of everyone (Rae included) back to them.

   “BOY!”

   “Uh oh!” Peter gasped, looking towards the boys and girls over the gate. “I think I hear a pirate!”

   Suddenly all the kids were shouting and booing. They jumped from their seats and began clambering against the gate, cheering and talking over one another with Zelena, Killian and Rumple stuck between them. Even if they wanted to stand and get away, they wouldn’t be able to easily and not while Rae continued to squeal and bounce, leaning as far as she could in Killian’s arms and pointing along with the rest of them at the shape that had called out to Peter.

   And then a man was stepping forward. Or at least, someone dressed as man. Unlike Peter, this actor wore a mask that included comically enlarged facial features, including a fat nose on top of a long thin moustached that was upturned on either side, over the top of a large toothy grin. He had long black curled hair and wore a purple fancy hat with a thick white feather to match the long red coat with a white frilled shirt underneath. He strode forward in a pair of pink and white leggings with a hand on his fake sword and the other arm held up above him, revealing a long silver hook on the end.

   “No…” Killian said quietly in disbelief.

   “On second thought…” Zelena said, sitting back and smiling. “I think we’ll stay a little longer after all.”

Once*Upon*A*Time*At*Disneyland

   “Alice,” Robin breathed. “Pay attention.”

   “I am.” Alice said, leaning over and kissing her again. “I’m giving you all my attention.”

   Robin pulled her close then twisted her around suddenly so she was facing away from her, breaking their kiss and wrapping her arms around her chest and arms to keep the other girl pinned and prevent her from twisting around to face Robin one more. As much as Robin loved their private moments in the dark like this, she also brought Alice on this ride for a reason and she was going to sit through it no matter what.

   “I hated the film,” Alice grumbled, scowling at the white rabbit chanting in front of her. “Why should I enjoy the ride?”

   “Cause you’re on it with me.” Robin grinned, kissing the back of her neck.

   Alice smiled. “Well… That is a perk.” She leaned back in Robin’s arms, barely paying attention to the animatronics that quoted the cartoon to them. In her mind, that was Robin’s fault. If she wanted Alice to focus on the ride, she shouldn’t be holding her as close as she was.

   They both slouched down together, riding along the tunnels and through the various story scenes of the film. When they momentarily slid back outside, they paused to share a grin between them just before entering the second part of the ride.

   “See?” Robin laughed as they neared the end.

   “Okay. I’ll admit. The stories a little more fun in the ride version.” Alice nodded, pecking her cheek. “But I think our first ride through was still the best.”

   As they came to a stop and climbed from the cart for a second time, Robin took Alice’s hand and began to head in direction of where most of the restaurants were located. They both knew they had to meet with the others eventually and there was no doubt they would all still be somewhere they could sit and rest. After all, they would need all the rest they could get for today.

   And then suddenly Robin felt herself being pulled to a stop. She looked back and saw Alice smiling at her, biting the corner of her lip. “You… Maybe want to go again?”

Once*Upon*A*Time*At*Disneyland

   “No…” Killian groaned, looking around but both Zelena and Rumple had gotten quite comfortable now.

   “Sit back and enjoy the show, Hook.” Rumple smirked, Blessing having now fallen asleep curled up slightly in his arms, oblivious to everything happening around her.

   “HOOK!” Rae gasped, looking from Killian and towards the actor and back again. “HOOK!” She gasped excitedly, pointing towards the actor while staring at her grandpa. “HOOK!”

   “Think she recognises you.” Zelena smirked.

   “Shut up.” Killian moaned, trying to sit Rae down in his lap, but she was more excited seeing Captain Hook than she had Peter Pan and refused to let herself be settled.

   The two actors had begun to walk around one another. Hook said very little as he waved his sword at Peter who mocked and giggled at him, jumping around and running in circles like it was a game of tag. Every now and then he jumped the gate and ran among the children with Hook pretending to try and chase after him while unable to actually follow and every time he did, the three actual fairy tale characters got a lovely view of his ridiculous head, including the enlarged cheeks and chin that went with the nose and smile.

   “Can we go now?” Killian asked, trying to sound more bored, like he didn’t care which way or the other.

   “And abandon the show?” Zelena cackled. “I think not!”

   “Let’s leave it to Desirae to decide,” Rumple said confidently, leaning forward, being careful not to jostle where Blessing had turned and curled against his chest now. Not that he needed to try so hard, it seemed the young girl was completely undisturbed by the cries of many people still shouting around her. “Rae? Rae? Do you want to go now? Or do you want to watch Peter Pan and Captain Hook?”

   “HOOK!” Rae cried, pointing and bouncing on her feet still. “HOOK!”

   “That decides it,” Rumple said, leaning back and smiling at his old enemy/new friend.

   “I hate you both.” Killian mumbled, slouching down in his seat while keeping his hands on Rae’s hips. He had to be careful to keep her from falling as she continued to bouncing up and down on his leg.

Once*Upon*A*Time*At*Disneyland

   “Okay, we should really head back now.” Alice giggled, walking for the excit, back alongside the crowd of people still waiting to have their turn.

   “We should.” Robin agreed firmly. Then added with a devious smile; “Or… We could have one more ride.”

   “Really?” Alice laughed. “Come on. Even I’m getting bored of it now.”

   “Yeah but think of it this way,” Robin said, pulling her forcefully to the back of the line once again. “We started this ride with a kiss… Shouldn’t we end it that way as well?”

   Alice pretended to pause and think it over. “Well, that sounds fair to me!”

Once*Upon*A*Time*At*Disneyland

   “How long are they going to do this?” Killian hissed.

   “For as long as it entertains.” Rumple shrugged, looking towards the kids and teens still laughing around them.

   “Yeah, well, I’m going to get us some more drinks,” Zelena said, standing and wedging her way through the crowd, pausing to pat Killian’s shoulder and wink down at him. “Don’t go anywhere.”

   Killian lashed out a hand, grabbing her wrist tightly. “You are not leaving me here!”

   “Well you can’t come. Rae’s enjoying herself so you have to stay for her sake.” Zelena said, pulling her arm free. “Have fun, Captain.”

   Rumple chuckled, watching Zelena disappear into the crowd. Then turned as he caught Killian glaring at him. “What?” He asked.

   “You’re not going anywhere.” Killian warned, then added quickly. “Don’t forget, if you move, you’ll disturb Blessing.”

   “Oh no worries there.” Rumple said, putting his feet on Zelena’s recently vacated chair, smiling as he looked back towards the show just as Hook bent over and had his backside kicked by Peter, sending him toppling to the ground. “I don’t plan on going anywhere.”

   Killian was suddenly regretting the idea of keeping Rumple around and groaned loudly, watching his cartoon self struggle to scramble back onto his feet and those ridiculous looking shoes. Rae couldn’t stop laughing and more than once pointed at Killian and pointed back again, as if reminding him again and again that, yes, that was supposed to be him.

Once*Upon*A*Time*At*Disneyland

   “Okay, now we should head back.” Alice sighed sadly.

   “Are you kidding? They made us sit up front this time. We couldn’t finish how we started we everyone able to watch us.” Robin argued grumpily.

   “Robin, enough, okay? If I have to see those stupid things again or hear any of their high squeaky voices, I’m going to lose my mind.” Alice said sharply, rubbing her temple at the very idea of passing through those damn tunnels once more.

   “You won’t hear them. Not if I’m doing it right.” Robin said quickly.

   Alice ignored her attempts to flirt and kept walking. Or rather, she tried to keep walking. She didn’t get very far when suddenly Robin reached down, picking her up off her feet and physically carrying her to the back of the line.

   “ROBIN!” Alice yelped, kicking her legs out.

   “One more time!” Robin promised.

Once*Upon*A*Time*At*Disneyland

   “Finally!”

   A few parents shot Killian a dirty look but he ignored them. He didn’t care if he sounded like a miserable old bugger. Seeing his cartoon self run off like a coward when Peter got all the audience to start making ticking sounds like a clock, was both a great insult and an even greater relief. Killian was an inch away from carrying Rae off mid performance, even if she hated him for it, while Rumple had never looked like he was enjoying himself more. Even now, he was still grinning at the (real) pirate with a smugness that wasn’t going to be wiped away easily.

   “Can we go now?” Killian growled as the crowd around them thinned out and everyone returned to their seats to finish their lunches.

   “Yeah, the fun’s over now.” Rumple said, standing and shuffling Blessing in his arms. She whimpered and her little blue eyes blinked open staring up at the shocked expression on the older man’s face. “That’s what wakes you?” He blinked.

   As if she even understood him, Blessing smiled slightly - a smile that matched her mothers cheeky side - before shutting her eyes and cuddling back up against him. Rumple shook his head at her before turning and heading back inside the restaurant, followed by Killian where he had settled his granddaughter back on his shoulders, ignoring her restless fidgeting. While he knew she was eager to be released on her own two wobbly feet, there was no way he was going to risk letting her get lost in this crowd.

   As they made their way through the main restaurant and for the exit, they kept an eye out for Zelena but she was nowhere around. At least not until they found their way out of the building and back into the main area of the park.

   “I thought you were just getting drinks?” Killian demanded when he caught sight of Zelena, hovering across from the exit, waiting patiently for them.

   “Guess I forgot.” Zelena shrugged innocently. “So did you enjoy the show?”

   Scowling at her, Killian stormed passed, letting Rumple come to a pause behind him, still smiling at his back. “Oh he loved it.” He said loudly, then glanced at Zelena and lowered his voice so Killian could no longer hear. “I think we’re gonna need to ask for a special request for Captain Hook to come see Desirae, don’t you think?”

   Zelena smirked back. “Even without your magic, you are still the Dark One.”

   “What are you two whispering about back there?” Killian snapped, looking over his shoulder at them.

   “Oh nothing!” Zelena sang, walking over and reaching up. “Now give Rae here. It’s your turn to carry the bags.”

   Killian side stepped away from her. “After what I just sat through? I don’t think so.” He walked around her, heading off with Rae falling back to hang upside down behind him again, giggling and waving to her grandma.

   “Hey! Over here!”

   Alice and Robin caught sight of Rae’s flashing knickers before they saw the faces of the others. They hurried over, both looking very pink in the face and grinning with deep matching breaths.

   “You two look like you had fun,” Zelena said, pushing aside her irritation at still being stuck with the bags. “How many rides did you get on in the end?”

   “Oh… Not many actually.” Robin shrugged.

   “Just the one really.” Alice admitted.

   “Just one? Was the line that long?” Zelena blinked. Well, all the lines were long but she had discovered that the park was actually quite good at getting everyone moving at a brisk pace so as to give everyone a chance.

   “… Yeah. Let’s go with that.” Robin nodded, ignoring the puzzled look her mother gave her.

   Quick to change the subject, Alice looked between her daughters. “Aw, is someone tuckered out?” Alice asked, walking over to Rumple and brushing some strands of blonde hair to the side of Blessing’s head, kissing her sleeping forehead softly.

   “Yeah, she fell asleep near the start of the show.” Rumple nodded.

   “Show? What show?” Alice asked.

   “Forget about it!” Killian said quickly before anyone else could answer. “Now are we going to go on some more rides today or not?”

   The girls looked questioningly towards Rumple and Zelena for answers, both of whom were smirking to themselves and each other. It was obvious something had happened while they were gone, but neither had any idea what could pull such mixed reactions from the three of them.

   “We’ll tell you later.” Rumple promised.

   “We’ll show you if we can.” Zelena grinned, then looked at the girls. “Seriously you are both still very red. Lemme guess, roller-coaster?”

   “Uh- yup! That’s right!” Robin nodded. “Very exciting! So much fun! Couldn’t get enough of it.” She looked at Alice and shared a secret knowing smile. “Definitely do it again some time.”

   Alice grinned back, reaching over and entwining their fingers together as they began following Killian across the park. “Sometime soon.”

   As oblivious as ever Zelena shrugged and walked beside them. “Well, we have all weekend for you two do it again. But for now, Rumple, give me my granddaughter! Now! Grandma Zee wants time with her precious Blessing as well, so hand her over!”

[cellochicita]

SO MANY QUESTIONS POSTS

OK SO I GOT TAGGED BY @bananabrianna77 @thiswebsitegavemethisusername @mtt-studios @zephyrus-gryphon @scolipendra91 AND @esmiden

SO NEEDLESS TO SAY I HAVE A LOT OF QUESTIONS TO GO THROUGH

putting it below bc it longgg

1. What’s your favorite inside joke?

This is fine

2. What’s the strangest/stupidest/most interesting way you’ve ever injured yourself?

Naruto running across the street, I tweaked my shoulder something awful

3. What’s your favorite color, and what do you find so appealing about that color?

Lilac purple *star eyes* I’ve always loved purple, it’s very feminine without being in your face, and mysterious, and lilac has the warm red undertones to it that make it feel like a hug. Plus I love the smell of the flower too

4. If you had a million dollars (or whatever currency you weird non-American peeps use) what WOULDN’T you spend it on?

Umm. I wouldn’t spend it on gambling

5. What do you usually eat for breakfast?

Whoo boy depends what I can grab as I run out the door. Toast, banana, etc.

6. Hey you now possess the ability to give people superpowers. I, your indecisive trash bag pal, just requested you give me a “random superpower”. What kinda power will you give me?

Hmm, I give you the power of flight bc flying rocks

7. If the roles were reversed, what kind of superpower would you request?

I wanna talk to animals dangit

8. What time is it for you right now?

11 am :)

9. What was the worst homework assignment you ever had to complete?

Oh gosh um, 20 page paper written in one day? That sucked major butt

10. What’s your worst pet peeve?

When people cannot stop to question their own actions.

11. Not a question, but write a short (3-5 line) poem/rap about the closest thing to your left.

Left of me there is

A wall covered in carpet

Why is that a thing

1) COKE OR PEPSI???

COKE YOU HEATHEN

2) Favourite food?

Hnngg all of them? Rice bowls.

3) If you had to choose one song to listen to over and over for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Oh geez. Um. I could listen to orchestral covers of Asgore’s theme for  hours

4) Favourite singer/band?

Owl City, Imagine Dragons, Bastille, Taylor Swift

5) Favourite subject to study in school?

History or music

6) Your favourite thing about the internet?

Heck I love the freedom it gave to me to create music and voicework. I’ve had good experiences networking too :)

7) Have you remembered to do what you need to today?

Ummm I suppose I just did. But I still don’t wanna do it, sooooo

8) What time do you usually wake up if you get to choose?

If I choose? 8 am. Out of bed by 9 (I have to catch up on notifs)

9) Favourite YouTuber?

The entire Internet Remix crew

10) Can you list 5 tumblr blogs you think I should follow right now?

@fishmum, @rileygoldsmith, @kanaking, @asgoriel-stuff, @stariousfalls

11) Who is the most underrated celebrity, in your opinion?

ALL THOSE PEOPLE WHO SAID ME SHUT THE HECK YOUR MOUTHS

Piano Guys probably, they are great dudes

12) Favourite snack?

Cheese sticks

13) Can you describe your ideal day?

The day I can finally get caught up on all of my recording, then I go and hang out with family and friends

14) Your best tumblr friend?

Riley is bae @rileygoldsmith

15) Can you say the first thing that comes to your head NOW?

Can’t wait until my bf gets home so I can smooch his face

16) Favourite music genre?

Oof. I have eclectic tastes. Alternative I suppose? Not sure. If it sounds good, I like

17) Favourite video game? (If you don’t play, favourite Let’s Play series?)

Probably Undertale duh

18) The worst time someone has betrayed you?

Ex best friend, junior year of HS. But haha jokes on her, I’m dating her ex

19) Could you describe yourself in five words?

Keep enduring to the end

20) Favourite type of weather?

Fall weatherrrrrr

21) Could you describe your favourite place, without using the name?

Absolute peace

22) Favourite inspirational quote?

“Even when you think it's time to give up, don't. Take care of you and find yourself again if you need to” - Moony

1. What makes you feel at home?

My mom usually XD

2.  Favorite soup?

Turkey and wild rice soup P:

3. Sunny or rainy?

Rainy dayssss ftw

4. Other than your family, who is one person who has shaped you?

My best friend

5. What patterns do you like on clothing that you don’t wear yourself (floral, striped, etc.)?

I wish I could pull off stripes mixed with florals

6. Quick, first word/phrase you think of!

I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts

7. One trait you envy about others?

The ability to not overthink things

8. What was the first online fandom you joined?

Online fandoms? Hmm, probably doctor who

9. Favorite song from the 20th century?

“The way you look tonight” Frank Sinatra

10. Which class did/do you do best in at school?

The easy ones. I got good grades in history tho

11. Would you smooch a ghost?

HECK YAS

1. Waffles, Pancakes, or french toast?

Waffles but on other days pancakes

2. Do you think spiders can be adorable?

So long as they’re not up in my space

3. Best gaming experience you have had?

Solstice ending of Oneshot. It was really the first time I played a game blind, and the ending is masterful

4. Happy song that makes you sad?

You are my sunshine BC OF THOSE DANG UNDERTALE COMICS DANGIT

5. Favorite adult cartoon?

Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood (I KNOW IT’S ANIME SHUSH)

2. Most adrenaline pumping thing you have done?

Bungee jumping was intense

7. Do you believe there is darkness within anyone, can anyone once good be evil?

I do believe, but I also believe the opposite. We all have dark and light in us, it all depends on what we choose

8. Favorite anime OST song, not counting openings or endings?

I dunno haha I do love the whole soundtrack to FMA Brotherhood? Not familiar with all the OST

9. Hade you dramatically lied to someone?

I have before

10. Did you notice I repeated 2 twice the first time you read this?

I JUST DID ACTUALLY I WAS GONNA FIX IT BC I THOUGHT MY COMPUTER MESSED UP XD

11. How was your day?

So far, pretty decent : )

1. How are you doing?

Pretty good thanks!

2. What leaves the worst taste in your mouth?

Figuratively or literally? Literally Orange juice after toothpaste. Figuratively, when I have to let stupid people alone to their ways

3. What is the strangest thing you’ve Googled?

Ghandi Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

4. What’s the funniest thing you’ve witnessed in public?

Me doing a perfect double take at a guy pretending to be a mannequin in a store window

5. You are given the ability to solve one unsolved mystery. Which one do you choose?

Amelia Earhart. Where she at man

6. If you could write a letter to your past self, what would you tell them?

Dude, you won’t be lonely forever. It gets so much better

7. Which video game have you played through the most?

Undertale

8. If you could instantly learn a skill, which one would you choose?

DRAWING DANGIT I WANNA BE GOOD

9. What is a song you can never get tired of?

State of Grace, Taylor Swift

10. What is your favorite combination of food?

Breakfast for dinner!

11. What is the pettiest thing you’ve ever done?

Ghosted my friend bc she wouldn’t talk to me

1. Favorite literature or movie genre

Quirky fantasy

2. Top five animated cartoons

Phineas and Ferb, Gravity Falls, Avatar the Last Airbender, Steven Universe, Over the Garden Wall

3. If you could choose a fantasy land to stay in for the rest of your life, which one would you chose? Ps. You won’t be able to get back to the real world.

Hogwarts. Gimme. Now.

4. Favorite song at the moment?

Gorgeous, Taylor Swift

5. What is good design for you?

Something simple and clean, but warm and inviting

6. What’s your favorite color scheme/combination?

Lilac, lavender, mint and silver

7. Which feelings effects you the most in litterature/music/film etc.?

I am such a sucker for sister to sister relationships, make me teary every time

8. Favorite game?

Undertale (same as above)

9. What’s most important for you in a good movie?

I need to have fun! And I need it to not drag on

10. What’s your favorite time of the day and why?

Sunset

11. Extra because I’m out of ideas, if you got a painting. What would you want on it? XD

Cats!

AND I’M NOT GONNA TAG ANYONE ELSE BC I AM SO TIRED 

[allthecreepylittlethings]

Childhood Nightmares: A Pinocchio Analysis

(TW: Before reading this, please be aware that this blog will discuss triggering issues like abuse, neglect, and human trafficking. Please skip this post if any of these topics upset you.)

I probably don't need to explain too heavily why Pinocchio would be talked about on a blog dedicated to all things creepy and disturbing. But I'm going to anyways because I blocked out this movie for years over one particular scene that I'll get to in a second.

And before we go too far, I want to make clear this is purely focused on the Disney movie. My Grandpa did start to read the actual book to me as a kid but we never finished, unfortunately. I already know that the original source material for this movie was far darker, but maybe I'll save that for another time.

The strange thing about Disney's Pinocchio is that most people remember enjoying it as a kid and there was a lot of subject matter that didn't really affect them. Except for, again, that one scene, which is still coming later. What was weird to me as a kid, however, was the fact that my mom really didn't seem to like the movie and kept emphasizing that a lot of it was scary, especially if you're a parent. I sort of shrugged this off, thinking she was just being overly sensitive. My mom and I have always had different tolerance levels when it comes to horror or disturbing subject matter, after all (not to pick on her. I love my mom!).

But when you re-visit the movie as an adult, it becomes a different experience entirely. What might have seemed like a whimsical story about a puppet learning how to build up his moral compass becomes a scary story about neglect, abuse, manipulation, and just an ugly town with characters bent on taking advantage on naive kids. While I could write ballads about all of this, I'm just going to break it down as briefly as I can.

Geppetto is a terrible parent...

Now to be clear, Geppetto is not a bad person. From the start of the movie we see that he's a very sweet-hearted old man, insanely talented as a clock and toy maker, and has two pets he treats with complete adoration and affection. He is a genuinely good person.

We also see his genuine desire to be a good father to Pinocchio. When he is granted his wish from the Blue Fairy and finally has a little boy, he welcomes Pinocchio with open arms and celebrates with him. He plans to send Pinocchio right off to school so he can learn like all little kids should. All of those points are good things and his heart is clearly in the right place.

So what makes him such a terrible parent in this movie? His complete obliviousness to Pinocchio's real needs and being almost completely negligent to his son's wellbeing. From the start, it's obvious Pinocchio has no idea what being a living being entails. He doesn't understand why he shouldn't play with fire, asks why people need sleep at all, and doesn't understand what the words "right" and "wrong" mean. He is completely naive, new to the concept of being a living thing, and clearly needs some time to adapt and learn more about his new life before plunging headfirst into trying to be a normal child.

This doesn't happen. Instead, the very next morning after Pinocchio comes to life, Geppetto sends him right out the door to go to school, not only expecting Pinocchio to understand how to ignore strangers and know his way to the school all on his own, but he also anticipates the outside world to just turn a blind eye to the fact that a LIVING PUPPET is suddenly walking among them with zero explanation. Even in the magical universe that is Disney, someone's going to notice that, if not everyone. And it's likely to be a terrifying experience for them. Or, if they're more of the villainous type, it's the perfect opportunity to exploit this oddity. Which is exactly what happens. Really, nearly the whole plot of this movie could have been avoided if Geppetto had just used his head and thought about what he was doing.

Stranger Danger...

One of a parent's worst nightmares is their child disappearing without a trace. It's one of those horrible realities that people have to prepare for and take precautions to avoid. Unfortunately, Pinocchio is still brand new to the world and knows nothing about any of this (and as mentioned above, Geppetto did nothing to teach him). This makes him a very easy target before even addressing the fact that he's a freak of nature, bound to attract attention.

The fact that there are characters immediately ready to take advantage of him is terrifying, and it naturally doesn't take much to trick him. What makes it worse, however, is it happens more than once. The first time Pinocchio runs into Honest John, he gets tricked into being sold to Stromboli, an extremely angry and violent individual who locks Pinocchio in a cage and tells him that once he becomes old and useless, he'll be chopped into firewood.

Stromboli is the first instance in the movie of what could easily be described as the Disney-friendly version of human trafficking. And that's not to downplay the horrors of real human trafficking. Obviously a work of fiction does not compare to the real thing, especially when it's a children's cartoon. But let me elaborate a bit on my reasoning for labeling it as such. Even if Pinocchio isn't being sold for... well, what human trafficking usually sells its victims for, it's still a disturbing concept. He's taken from his home by force, locked up so there's no escape, and is intended to be forced to perform in front of people for the rest of his life, which will end in a violent manner.

He is given a second chance when the Blue Fairy rescues him, but almost immediately after, he gets tricked again by the same people who betrayed him the first time. Of course they promise that this time it'll be different and he won't suffer, and he falls for it. This could be reminiscent of the cycle of abuse (grooming, violence, apology, repeat), and I can't help but wonder that if Pinocchio was taught anything about manipulative liars and how to spot someone who means harm, would things have turned out differently?

Okay... I've stalled long enough, so let's get to...

That Scene...

If Honest John and Stromboli were only a minor reference to human trafficking, they barely hold a candle to The Coachman, who may arguably be one of the most evil villains featured in a Disney cartoon. As a kid, my mom used to talk about how she felt Stromboli was the scariest character of the movie, and while he definitely was unsettling for his brief screen time, he just didn't compare. Not by a long shot.

When we're first introduced to The Coachman, we know something's very wrong with this guy. The fact that Honest John immediately assumes he's being hired to perform a hit for him should be enough of a hint that this character is a monster.

Again, this feels like a heavy lead-in to human trafficking as the conversation takes place. He explains that he's looking for "stupid little boys" and wants Honest John to help lure them to him. After he explains he plans to then take the boys to Pleasure Island, he adds that he has no worries about the authorities catching on because, "They never come back as boys..." Obviously, you can assume that he doesn't mean exactly what this sounds like, but it's still frightening line that I'll explain further in a second.

Pleasure Island, despite what creepy images the name alone might plant in your head, is still a messed up place but for completely different reasons. Here, the kids are encouraged to binge drink beer, smoke cigars, smash and destroy anything they get their hands one, and basically just do whatever they want (and I will admit... that kinda looked fun when I was a kid). Underage drinking/smoking aside, they're lured into this false sense of security where they can be themselves without being punished, and the friendly Coachman encourages them all to do it. All the while, the children never notice the figures in black, shutting and locking the gates so there's no way they can get out. They're trapped and unable to realize it until it's way too late.

And then... that scene... Oh God, that scene...

We discover in one of the most horrifying scenes ever presented in a cartoon, that the children are being turned into donkeys to be sold to places like the salt mines or the circus. Even more upsetting is the ones that didn't fully complete the transformation are tossed into a pile on the side and deemed as useless. We never learn of their fate but I can only assume it's not good. Watching Lampwick discover what's happening to him and frantically screaming for his mother, all while knowing no one is coming to save him is a hard thought for even a kid to swallow.

What makes this scene so much worse as an adult is having that full understanding that the children are being robbed of their humanity through the transformation and just how awful of a concept that really is. This was always a horrifying concept to me to the point where I've never been able to watch The Dark Crystal more than once because of that goddamn podling scene, and I still struggle through Willow because of the pig scene. Since we still see emotions of fear and sadness coming from the donkeys as they're being sold off, it almost dips more into, "I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream," territory. They know what's happening to them, but they'll never be able to call for help or tell anyone. Even if they were to somehow bump into their families later in life, they'll never be able to tell them, "Help! It's me! I'm still alive!" Again, this also feels eerily similar to human trafficking. They're robbed of their humanity, sold to the highest bidder, and silenced so they can never reach out for help.

"They never come back... as boys..."

Their only hope is that someone somewhere discovers what the Coachman is doing and puts a stop to it. But that never happens. There is no final comeuppance, no justice, the children are never saved, and The Coachman is likely still doing this long after the movie is over. I mean, we can hope Pinocchio or Jiminy alerted someone about this after they're safe at home again, but we ultimately never know if they did. Even after he reunites with Geppetto and gets asked what happened to him, he goes quiet and doesn't tell him and that's honestly heartbreaking when you think about the fact that he's a victim of trauma and just a child.

Now, I could write about Monstro and how terrifying that whale of a whale was, but he gets a pass because, unlike the other characters who played the villain, Monstro was just an animal. Not a vindictive, manipulative, horrible piece of garbage. Just an animal living as an animal would. If someone happened to get swallowed along the way, it wasn't entirely deliberate, it was because he was hungry. So while he is his own brand of nightmare fuel, it's not in the same way as the characters I've described above.

Looking back, I remember loving this film as a kid and thinking it was just another story of adventure where important lessons are learned along the way. But now that I'm older, a parent, and have had a bit more life experience, Pinocchio is not what I remembered it to be. I'm not saying I don't still love the movie. I do! In fact I've found more bits to love about it, re-watching it as an adult. But the thing is, it's far from a happy movie. Just because it has a happy ending does not mean it's a happy movie. Pinocchio embarks on a horror story of being manipulated, used, imprisoned, nearly killed several times, being made to watch as new friends are subjected to a cruel fate, and only barely managing to make it home alive. And again, he's just a child. He single-handedly goes through a gauntlet of horrors most adults will never see in their entire lifetime, just in the span of a few days.

I don't know what sort of adult he ultimately grew up to become, but I wouldn't doubt that this misadventure messed him up for a long time.

[joyofcrime-elinorhigh]

2017 Year in REVIEW: Part 2

Hello everybody, my name is JoyofCrimeArt and welcome to the final week of Deviant-cember! It's been fun ride, but it's time to wrap up 2017. And I'm doing by going over all the major animated series/animation related news that came out this year, ranking the shows from best to worse, and deciding which animation network "won" the year. If you haven't seen part one yet I suggest you check it out before continuing this part, 2017 Year in REVIEW: Part 1 But for those of you who have seen the first part, let's just jump back into things.  Teen Titans Go! had another miniseries this year as a follow up to Island Adventures. This time, based off the episode "40% 40% 20%." one of the most popular episodes of the series. And to celebrate this event Cartoon Network decided to have a marathon airing nothing but Teen Titans Go! and the newly premiered O.K. For an entire week!  I'm starting to feel numb to this.  This is the "Night Begins To Shine" Miniseries, how was it?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NGIe8d9w8O4

 Now before I get into this, I do feel like I need to briefly go over my opinion on the episode "40% 40% 20%" since that's the episode that this miniseries is directly based on. And my opinion on it is pretty much the same as everybody else's. The episode is great, and shows that Teen Titans Go! can be genuinely good when it wants to be. The episode featured a stylish art style, a story that focused on abstract visual storytelling, and a really catchy song. The episode isn't without it's faults, but it is one of the best Teen Titans Go! episodes, in my opinion. So how did this sequel do?  Well let's start with the positives. The visuals in the music word are still really good, capturing the 80's aesthetic perfectly. It honestly reminds me a lot of Moonbeam City. Anybody remember Moonbeam City?  No, oh. Okay...  The covers of the song "Night Begins to Shine" by Fall Out Boys, CeeLo Green, and Puffy Ami Yumi were also neat to hear. Especially Puffy Ami Yumi, it was a nice throw back to the old show having them preform. However, I do wish that more time where devoted to these covers.  However, the special does have it's fault. One problem, surprisingly, is that the special focuses too much on story. Complex stories are not Teen Titans Go's! strong suit. Part of the reason why "40% 40% 20%" worked so well was because of it's simplicity. It focused less on story and more on visuals and atmosphere. But by trying to stretch the story out to an hour, and giving the music world this whole backstory it takes away that simplicity. Also we spend a lot of time in the real world, away from the psychedelic visuals that we all came for. And while "Night Begin's To Shine," plus the new song they make are both extremely catchy, they aren't enough to fill up an entire hour. And since all the covers are all shoved in at the end, the song kinda get's old after a while. And visually they don't really do much new with the music world that wasn't done in the first episode.  However, I don't want to be to hard on the episode, because unlike a lot of other episodes, you can really feel the passion that went into it. It feels like the people behind TTG were really trying to make something epic. And while I don't think it entirely works one hundred percent of the time, I do give them an A for effort. The special is better than Island Adventure from a technical standpoint, but it doesn't have the "so bad it's good" element that Island Adventure had. So it's kinda up to you're own personal preference to figure out which mini-series is more enjoyable.  But that's not all CN did, as like I said before, It wasn't just a Teen Titans Go! marathon, but also a marathon for there new show "OK KO: Let's Be Heroes."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xWyHZQARrnM

 OK KO: Let's Be Heroes, created by Ian Jones-Quartey, follows the adventures of KO, a young optimistic kid who work's at a mall plaza. The twist however being that it's set in a world with the rules and logic of a shonen anime or a beat-em-up video game, and by working at the plaza he'll be able to fulfill his dream of becoming a hero. Already the show has a lot of promise with it's premise alone, but how does it succeed in terms of execution?  Let's start with the characters. They're all pretty good for the most part. KO is a very likable character very reminiscent of the young hot blooded shonen protagonist that he is inspired by. Enid works well as the straight woman-  But not to straight, ammiright!? Up top!

Oh man, we got ourselves a sad lonely lesbian up in in this hiz-ous! Quick, Somebody give this show an Emmy!  Also I'd like to give special mention to Lord Boxman and his robot children, who are my personal favorite characters. Imagine Megaman's Dr. Willy and his robot masters crossed with Team Rocket from the Pokemon anime. The only character who I'm not super crazy about is Rad. He's not awful or anything, but his obnoxious personality can definitely become overbearing at points. Also his entire character arc is pretty much just Lars' character arc from Steven Universe, only not as well done. But he doesn't ruin the show for me or anything.  The animation for the show is kinda hit or miss. The show has a very sketchy art style that people seem to either love or hate. Personally, it's not really something I gravitate to. Though I do admire that it has an art style that looks different from the traditional "CN" art style that we've seen so much of the last couple of years and also do like how it has a kinda "middle school doodle" aesthetic to it. It's not a bad art style, just not really my thing.  However, what is a bigger problem is the consistency of the characters designs. And thus we enter the online debate that's been haunting the animation community have been having since Ren and Stimpy came out in the nineties. Is off model animation ugly or expressive? I feel like it can work in some cases, but I don't think it works here. Characters look off model so much that it just comes off as sloppy. Which is a shame because if we're talking just about the actual movement this has some of the most fluid animation that I've seen in any Cartoon Network series.  I also have a bit of the problem with the writing. I don't know what tone this show is trying to go for. Half the time it seems like it's trying to be this super silly cartoon while the other half of the time it tries to be a serious lore show and it doesn't gel well. The comedic elements mix well with the lore, like having the big season one mystery revolve around a falling sandwich.  I just couldn't find myself caring about it all. Also the shows main evil shadowy figure pulling the strings name is Shadowy Figure. I'm sorry I can't take this villain seriously. Coupled with some episodes with some really hammered in morals and a odd amount of gimmicky episodes, the show ends up feeling like a jumble of interesting yet disconnected ideas without any clear cohesion.  But is the show bad? No. What I think saves the show is the characters. They are genuinely likable and I like just seeing how they interact with each other. It's defiantly an improvement over there last couple of shows (Ben 10, Mighty Magiswords, Powerpuff Girls,) but I don't think it lives up to some of there other modern classics (Like Steven Universe, Adventure Time, or We Bare Bears.) OK KO is Okay...KO.  The unwatch button is down there. I completely understand.  Meanwhile Disney decided to get into the reboot game with Ducktales 2017. And can i just say that I genuinely think that if they didn't  use the old theme song everybody would hate this show. Like they could keep everything else the exact same, but if they cut the theme song down to say thirty seconds like most cartoons now of days people would hate this as much as they hate the Powerpuff Girls reboot.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YKSU82afy1w

 Well the show doesn't have any of the original voice actor and the creator's different, so the show must be awful right guys? Okay cool, done. Next show-  No, obviously I'm kidding. Let's talk about Ducktales 2017. No need to spend to much time on the plot, cause it's Ducktales. You all know the story. Three trouble making young ducks move in with there rich adventure loving Uncle Scrooge, and shenanigans ensue. They solve mysteries, rewrite histories ect. Disney hyped this show to hell, and even aired the hour long series premiere TWENTY FOUR TIMES IN A ROW! I really wanna know, was there anybody who watched ALL twenty four showings back to back to back? I mean someone must of, right?  Now I don't know much about Ducktales. It was WAY before my time, though from what I can gather this is a pretty good series in terms of it being a reboot. It isn't just adapting the old show. It's combining elements of the old show, the comics, and new ideas and that's honestly the best way to go about a reboot in my personal opinion. I'm glad they just make it a rehash with all the still living cast members returning, and a ton of wink and nod references to the old show that new fans won't understand. I give the show a lot of props for that.  I also want to praise the shows beautiful art style. I love how it looks like a comic book, not only calling back the series roots, but also giving it a unique visual identity. The show is also really funny, having a very clever wit mixed with a very comically exaggerated world. The world feels very comic book-y and has a real sense of fun to it. It's cool seeing all the creative shrines and temples that exist in this world, just waiting to be explored.  The characters range in quality, though that may not be the shows fault as episodes are being aired out of order, and as such the amount of attention given to each cast member is not equal. But I won't hold that against the show.  However, the show is far from perfect. It suffers a bit from what I call Milo's Murphy's Law syndrome. As in, the show is great on it's own but is so similar to what came before that it takes away some of the enjoyment. "But JoyofCrimeArt" I hear you saying "I thought you said that this show wasn't rehashing the original Ducktales cartoon." And it's not.  It's rehashing Gravity Falls. Okay, maybe "rehash" is a strong word, but It's hard to not notice the similarities. I don't know if this show is borrowing from Gravity Falls or if Gravity Falls was actually just a ripping off the original Ducktales and it just took me five years to realize it, but just take a look at the similarities.

 We got a group of tween age twins/triplets-

 -who move in with there miserly jerk with a heart of gold great uncle.

 And a socially awkward spunky girl with a grappling hook-

 -Who are trying to solve a mystery involving a missing personal. All without letting the miserly uncle know what's going on.

 With the miserly uncles dim witted older assistant-

 -and a cool "older sister" like role model along for the ride.

With an antagonist who is a rival businessmen to the miserly uncle.  Seriously, it's pretty blatant. And to be fair it's not an exact rip-off or anything. Some things are executed differently. The world and comedy of Ducktales is definitely a lot more cartoon-y and over the top than Gravity Falls. And there are elements in one but not the other for sure. But there are definite parallels, and judging by the marketing Disney is doing for this show it seems pretty clear that they want this to be their "new Gravity Falls." It's not that the show is bad per say, but it's hard for me to not compare it to Gravity Falls, and I'm sorry but Gravity Falls is definitely the better of the two series. In fact you could say that this show is basically...

Also can I just say that I don't give a crap about this shows lore. Like, at all. They try to do the big overarching mystery thing and I am just not invested at all. I like shows with lore, I really do, but this is far from a new concept at this point and if you're going to do it now you got to add something new to it But this is just the same beats. And I could be wrong, but I feel like I know exactly where it's going. Without going into to many specifics there's a character who mysteriously disappeared, and it looks like they did something really bad before disappearing. But I know their's going to be some explanation given to make their actions justifiable because I know they wouldn't make this character a bad guy. Their's another character who their playing up as working for the villain, but I know their going to give this character a redemption arc because that's what all lore shows like this do. Their doing that thing where they're solving this mystery but they don't want anybody to know about it, without any real reason why other than just the "we can't trust anybody" crap. Character's keep secrets from each other just so there can be more mystery. These tropes were new and innovated when shows like Gravity Falls and Steven Universe came out.. but that was a while ago and we've had a lot of mystery shows since then we've seen all these story beats in those shows, and nothing new is brought to the table.  So yeah, I can't say that I love this show as much as most people. But that doesn't mean I hate it. Their are things I do really like about it. Like the humor, the cartoon-y atmosphere and the art style. But it is a shame when the mystery, the thing that's suppose to be the most enticing, ends up being the shows weakest element. I think if this show came out a couple years ago. before so may cartoons followed this kind of formula, I would of liked it a lot better.  But hey, at least it's better than Marvel's Spider-Man. Ha-ha! Segway!

Yeah...this show doesn't really have a theme song...  Now it's hard to talk about Marvel's Spider-Man without talking about the previous Disney XD Spider-Man series, Ultimate Spider-Man. I only watched a little over one season of USM before I dropped the series because honestly, it wasn't very good in my opinion. The whole show felt like it was made by a committee featuring dumbed down writing, obvious cross promotion to other Marvel properties, and a Spider-Man who came across less like a nerdy genius and more like an arrogant buffoon. So when this series was announced, with official press statements referring to it to a "back to basics" approach to the franchise, I was hopeful. How did the show turn out?  Well...it's better than Ultimate. I think....  Honestly it seems odd that they cancelled Ultimate Spider-Man for this because the series feels like it has most of the problems that Ultimate Spider-Man had. Just slightly less so. The writing still feels dumbed down, but slightly less dumbed down. The series is less focused on cross promotion and mostly features Spider-Man characters, which is a plus as I though that Ultimate Spider-Man was a bit too "Marvel Universe Centrict." But that still hasn't stopped the show from already having an episode where Spider-Man meets Iron Man, and another episode where he meets the Hulk. IN THE FIRST FOURTEEN EPISODES. This version of Spider-Man is more of a nerd which is good, but they messed it up by going in the opposite direction by making him TOO MUCH of a nerd, with him constantly talking about how awesome science is at every possible opportunity.  Also the animation of this show is really bad. Nothing is shaded properly, and it's very distracting.  The only thing that I really like about this show is Norman Osborn. He's voiced by Josh Keaton, who played Spider-Man in the Spectacular Spider-Man and I was shocked to see how well is was able to pull off such an opposite character. He's just as petty and cartoonishly conniving as Norman Osborn should be. But other than that, the show doesn't have much to offer. It's clearly made for really little kids, and their isn't really much for adults. It's that bland kind of bad, where it feels like there just wasn't much passion put into this. I'm sure that's not true but that's how it feels.  Speaking of reboots of 80's properties, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2012 aired it's final episode after five seasons and over one hundred episodes. Now like I said in part one, I've only seen the first two seasons of this show, so I don't know how good the last three seasons where, but I'm glad that the show got a good run. From what I saw, it was a pretty great show. However what does annoy me is that Nickelodeon moved it to Nicktoons with only TEN EPISODES LEFT! Like really Nick? You couldn't just air the last ten?  Meanwhile at Netflix, not satisfied with just one anime-esq cartoon project they decided to make another. This is...(sigh) This is Neo Yokio. Or, another installment in my side series series, (Oh, the Cringe!)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dLNRZ_1WyzM

 Neo Yokio, created by Ezra Koenig and starring Jaden Smith was a show that was originally pitched to the Fox ADHD block, but ended up in a state of development limbo after said block got canned. But someone at Netflix decided that this show was something that the world desperately needed and decided to pick it up themselves. The series stars Kaz Kaan, the most popular bachelor in the entire city of Neo Yokio. He's you're average millionaire celebrity dealing with all the first world problems that a millionaire celebrity have to deal with. But he's also a demon hunter...and..and...and...  Jaden Smith is younger than I am. How come he has his own anime?! I want my own anime! Come on Netflix, pick up "Average Spirit Warrior" please!  This show is odd. Not just odd, it's an odd kind of odd that's hard to explain. I don't know what this show wants to be, and so I don't know how to judge it. Sometimes it seems like it's trying to be an action show. Other times it seems like it's trying to be a straight forward comedy. OTHER other times it seems like it's trying to be parody of anime. And other other OTHER times it feels like it's trying to be a serious show about social issues like the wealth gap and the gender spectrum?!  Is there just some rule in the Netflix contracts that says that every Netflix show has to tackle gender identity, regardless of it it fits the series or not? Is that why Bill Nye's show had a rap about a vagina? Is that why?  It has a real adult swim vibe, like they bought the rights to some obscure early 2000's anime and decided to make there own dub. The animation even has the quality to it to, with lots of really bad lip syncing. The show's art is also not that great, looking like it's ten years older than it actually is.  The show varies in quality from so bad it's good, to actually pretty dull. Unlike other over the top weird anime Neo Yokio has a very slow pace, which makes everything feel at lot more mundane. Also Kaz is a very hard character to relate to because he is so rich and so oblivious to the world around him. Though the show does definitely have it's stand out moments. The show is so bizarre that there are plenty of funny "WTF" style moments, like the running gag with the Big Toblerone bar and some of Jaden Smiths bizarre spiritual-isms. Jaden Smith, while pretty monotone as a voice actor, did surprise me a couple of times with some okay comedic timing believe it or not.    The show also has some interesting world building that I wished they elaborated more on. There's sort of this alternate history element to this world's history that result in a lot of creative idea. It's a world with no 9/11, the Soviets are still around, Japan and Italy are somehow one nation...  You know I bet if your reading this without watching the show first I sound like a raving lunatic. WHY IS EZRA KOENIG MAKING AN ANIME? He's primarily a INDIE GUITARIST!  Do I recommend watching it? Ehh, I can say that I have never seen a show quite like it...I'd say watch the trailer. It's a good representation of the show, and if you find that trailer "funny bad" then you'll probably get a kick out of this show. If not, then you can skip it. Overall, to me at least, the show just didn't have much synergy...  But hey, don't say you love the anime if you haven't read the manga...

 And Teen Titans Go! is getting a movie and wait...what? NEXT JULY!? Shouldn't there be like a...trailer or something out then?! I mean Spider-Verse has a trailer and that's not coming out till December! But hey..."In general, if a traditionally animated film comes out in theaters I'll see it just to support the medium." Right? I mean that's what I said in the last part...rIgHt?1  Now all the stuff that I've previously mentioned we're all fine, but none of it was grabbing the cartoon community attention to much. Ducktales came the closest, but with Rick and Morty Season three about to end there needed to be another show to be the new big thing. Then...Big Mouth Happened. Or...another installment in my newly booming side series (Oh, the Cringe!) REAL WARNING: NOT SAFE FOR WORK! For Real.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v8DlpO5UOnI

 Now when I decided to watch this show in preparation for this review, I thought that I was going to be the only person in the cartoon community to really talk about it. I thought that this show would like "Legend of Chamberlain Heights" or "TripTank." An awful show, but a show that would fly under the radar just because of how "generically awful" it would be. That's why I was suprised when this show became the biggest hot topic in our community,and a widely debated topic at that. For real, I haven't seen a show this polarizing in a long time. People like Mr. Enter and I Hate Everything say that the show is awful, and one of the first cartoons ever, bordering child porn in terms of the content that the series shows. Other's like PhantomStrider on the other hand found the series to be a smart and deep dive into the lives of prepubescent adolescents and tackling the topic well. Which side do I land on?  Ehh, somewhere in the middle I guess.  I'll start with the pros of the show first. The show's biggest strength it's relatability. Being a show that tackles puberty it is almost impossible for you to not relate to this show on some level. This does help ground the world and get you into the characters easier because you see yourself in their shoes. The characters are fairly good for the most part, with Andrew being the most stand out character out of the main four kids. This I think was what surprised me the most, as most of these shows tend to make the characters assholes for the sake of being assholes but they stay mostly likable. Though the best character overall to me personally is The Ghost of Duke Ellington played by Jordan Peele. His performance is just so over the top and it's just such a random idea for a character that I can't help but kinda like it. Also there's this one gym coach character who I feel like I should be more annoyed by, but I kinda end up really liking. Though that might be just because he reminds me of Coach Z from Homestar Runner.

 I show also covers a lot of topics that aren't covered in a lot of other shows, and covers them well. There is actual thought put into it. Honestly I think this show would be a good one to show somebody who is in puberty, as it gives a lot of informative info out in a much more personal way then most sex ed videos do.  The internal continuity of the world is very hey wire. Sometimes people can see the hormone monsters, sometimes they can't. Sometimes they have the ability to effect the world around them, while other times it's kept ambiguous to weather or not they even are real, or just figments of the characters imagination. But I also don't think that it's really the point of the show. I think it's just whatever is funnier in the moment. There's a fluidness to the reality.  However, there are definitely some problems with the show. Whenever the humor is trying to be crass or offensive the jokes tend to land a lot less. The show can end up becomes genuinely uncomfortable, and there were a lot of moments where I did end up changing tabs while watching. Being on Netflix they are able to get away with a lot, including showing full uncensored penis, vagina's, semen, and more. Often times involving the kids, and there is a real creep factor to it. I know the shows about puberty and that's the subject matter, but I feel like this is a rare case where "show don't tell" doesn't apply to storytelling. This is the shows biggest issue, and it's hard to ignore cause it's in almost every episode.  The shows art style also isn't the best. It has this "Family Guy meets Klasky Csupo" look to it. And those are to properties that aren't most well regarded for there animation.  Overall I can say that I did enjoy the show more than I was expecting to. Though keep in mind my expectations were "Brickleberry." I think the show is more good than bad though, with the comedy and the likable characters being the saving grace. But if you don't like ugly animation or gross out, then just pull out now.  Meanwhile in the real world McDonalds released the "Mulan Schezwan Sauce" to the public for one day only. All in honor of a Rick and Mortyjoke from the first episode of season three. Fan's rioted as there was not enough supply to meet demand, leading to the story getting national coverage from major news outlets. Honestly, I have nothing to add to this, I just think it's funny.  But forget about joy, it's time to become suddenly all serious and depressing! As the #MeToo movement happened several animators where accused of sexual misconduct. Some of the names of those accused include Loud House creator Chris Savino and Head of Pixar and Disney animation John Lassenter. I do want you to keep in mind though that these are just accusations. It seems like lately when a celebrity is accused of something like this people always decide that their guilty until proven innocent. Because they don't want to come off as victim shaming. However that doesn't mean they didn't do it either...yeah I have nothing else to really say here. Chris Savino was fired and John Lassenter was put on a six month leave, with rumors saying he'll be fired afterwards. Um...there's no non awkward way to segway out of this topic is there? Crap.  Um, anyway Teen Titans Go! had there 200th episode. And guess how they celebrated. Go ahead, just make an educated guess. Well if you said an almost four day Teen Titans Go! marathon over Thanksgiving weekend, then you'd be right!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_7MWNWJReqU

Okay well, at least this one was actually celebrating something! So there's that at least!   

 Meanwhile the same night Nickelodeon premiered "Hey Arnold! The Jungle Movie." The finale thirteen years in the making. 

  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pfSPjRoQjCk

He's got a journal and a long lost relative. Y'know what that means, it's time for some LORE!  Now, I've never really watched Hey Arnold before, outside of a few episodes-  JESUS CHRIST! WHAT HAVE YOU SEEN?!  -But despite that, I did find myself enjoying this movie more than I thought I would. The movie is fairly stand alone, and for the most part can be enjoyed without prior knowledge of the show. The biggest strength of the film is the cast, who are genuinely likable, and the comedy which is genuinely funny. I also like how the movie does have a bit of a darker approach to it. It's not Samurai Jack dark or anything, but the villain is genuinely threatening and there are some actual onscreen deaths. It's not bloody or anything, but it's pretty intense for Nickelodeon. This really gives the movie a since of stakes and danger that I really enjoyed. It earns the PG rating.  There are some problems though in terms of the story telling. There are some forced conflicts that seem like they're just there to be there. Also the movie is actually pretty confusing in terms of what is magic and what isn't to the point where I'm still not one hundred percent sure if the ancient prophecy was true or not. Maybe I missed something, but it seems kinda muddled. Also the villain, while threatening, isn't very interesting. He's just the cliche "want's money" villain, with nothing making him really stand out. But most of these problems aren't TOO glaring and I was able to enjoy the film regardless. And if I enjoyed it then I'm sure people who actually watched Hey! Arnold probably loved it. And I'm glad that the fans finally got a proper ending after all this time.  Unfortunately, despite trending on twitter the movies actual ratings were not very good, getting a 1.7 million across three networks. That might sound okay, but it only barely beat out The Loud House episode that aired right before and that only aired on one network. Even Teen Titans Go! 200th episode, which airs on a much less popular network, was only a couple thousand views less than it.  I'm torn, because on one hand I liked the movie and wished it did better, knowing how long the creator and fans were waiting for it. On the other hand, I'm hoping that this might help Nickelodeon get out of their "90's kids phase" that they seem to be in. i mean there's Hey! Arnold, Invader Zim, Rocko. All these announced revivals really makes it feels like there kinda having a mid life crisis. And while there nineties shows where great, I think they need to acknowledge that it wasn't there only good period.  If there's something to take away from this, it's that as much as you hear people talk about how much better things were better in the nineties, these people are the minority. Most of the people who watch these channels are kids, and kids don't care about old nineties and two thousands shows they've never heard of. They care about what's on now.  Also, while this news effects much more than just animation, Disney bought most of Fox's entertainments rights for fifty two billion dollars. Which is an amount of money that I cannot even begin the fathom. That's enough money to buy everybody in the world five large McDonald's Soda. And that includes like new born babies and stuff. (Alternatively, that might be enough for about three Schezwan Sauce packets.) In terms of animation, that means Disney now owns The Simpsons, Family Guy, Bob's Burgers, Archer, All the Ice Age and Rio movies, Allen Frickin' Gregory. I'm honestly a bit worried about this. Disney is become more and more powerful, and I feel it's only a matter of time till they monopolize entertainment. I'm also worried how this will effect other TV channels. For example, if Disney wanted could they pull all the Fox shows off of adult swim, or TBS? Only time will tell, as this deal will take about a year to really go into effect, but hopefully our new mouse overlord will be merciful.  And to cap of f the year, Cartoon Network decided to celebrate Christmas by having an EIGHT DAY LONG TEEN TITANS GO! MARATHON! (with two episodes of Steven Universe sprinkled in.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qc7hwNB4Cv4

Now I know what you're probably thinking. "Wait, if they just passed two hundred episodes, then doesn't that mean they only have enough episodes for about two days?' Well normally yes, but even though there's only enough episodes that last two days, through a miracle it was able to last for eight nights.  And that's why we celebrate Hanukkah.  For real though, I try to defend Cartoon Network, but this is just too far! We had JUST gotten a multi-day Teen Titans Go! marathon literally a month ago! While annoying, at least I understand that one. It was for there two hundredth episode. It's a big milestone that should be celebrated. But this is just Christmas! Cause who wants to watch Christmas specials on Christmas right?! And it's not just Teen Titans Go!, I'd be upset regardless of the show. As of the time of this being posted it's still going on.  And it's not just CN. Nickelodeon had a last minute schedule change replacing several of there Christmas specials with Spongebob and Loud House reruns. Not all there specials though, and it was only for one day, so it's far less egregious. But it shows that when one channel falls they can all be effected. Ugh!  Yeah, I hate to end on that note, but honestly I'm just happy that I didn't end on sexual harassment, which was a real concern at one point. 2017 was a wild ride for the animation community, and I'm glad you came along with me on this look back through it all. Now, it's time to rank the shows. Keep in mind though that this is just my personal opinion. Also I'm not very good at these list things, and my opinion tends to change all the time. This is more of just a "for fun" thing. Let's do this. 9. Bunsen is a Beast 8. Castlevania 7. Marvel's Spider-Man 6. Ben 10 5. Neo Yokio 4. Big Mouth 3. (TIE) OK KO: Let's Be Heroes and Ducktales 2017 2. Hanizuki: Full of Treasures 1. Samurai Jack Season Five  Though that's just my opinions now. Who knows how they might change in the future. And keep in mind that there were a lot of shows that I didn't see or talk about that came out this year. Like these...  (Apollo Gauntlet, Big Hero 6: the Series, Billy Dilly's Super Duper Subterranean Summer, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, Danger and Egg, Dorthy and the Wizard of Oz, Hotel Transylvania: The Series, Legend Quest, Mysticons, Niko and the Sword of Light, Sex Swings, Strech Armstrong and the Flex Fighters, Tangled the Series, Tarantula, Tarzan and Jane, Tender Touches, The Jellies, The Magic School Bus Rides Again, Unikitty, Vampirina, Wacky Races 2017, Welcome to the Wayne, Wishfart)  As for the grade, last year got a B-. Good, but could use improvement. This year...honestly I have to give a C. Just...average. Even not counting the shows I talked about this year there were several shows that I watched, intending to put into this review, that I ended up cutting cause I had nothing to really say on them. And honestly, even shows like Ducktales and OK KO, which are pretty high on my list have their problems. But I acknowledge that every year's quality won't be exactly even, so I'm not going to panic just yet. I still have high hopes for 2018.  Now for the network that "won" this year. BTW since this is a new segment, I'll announce the winner for 2016 too. Last year I would say that Nickelodeon "won" the year for their success with The Loud House and for getting Spongebob out of it's seasonal rot. I've never seen the public opinion of a network to change so quickly. As for this year, I will say that the winner was Netflix, for really proving that their committing to animation. In addition to having the most shows I talked about this year (3/10) they also had other series that I didn't mention like Strech Armstrong Magic School Bus. Not to mention new seasons of Bojack, F is for Family, Voltron, Trollhunters and more. Sure not every show they had was great, but it shows initiative, and shows that they are a worthy contender in landscape of animation.  So that was 2017 year in review. While not the best year, it did have it's some very memorable series and moments. And I can't wait to see what 2018 has in store for the world of animation. What did you think of any of the shows or stories that I talked about today? Are there any that I missed? Feel free to leave your thoughts in the comment down bellow. I'd love to hear them. Please fav, follow, and comment and have a great year. See ya in 2018! (I do not own any of the images or videos in this review all credit goes to there original owners.)   

  https://www.deviantart.com/joyofcrimeart/journal/2017-Year-in-REVIEW-Part-2-722602821 DA Link

[bachelorbro-blog1]

Season 13, Episode 1 (The One Where Blake K Doesn't Get a Rose)

Welcome back, Bachelor Nation! I’m super excited about this season of the Bachelorette (mostly because Rachel is not Nick Viall and will never be Nick Viall). You all know how I feel about Rachel (and that I knew she’d be the next Bachelorette since the first episode of last season), so I won’t wax poetic about her. Instead, I’ll just start this recap. Let’s go!

The episode opens with Chris Harrison talking about how much we all love Rachel. Duh. Obviously. Let’s move on. 

Rachel does some street dancing, plays basketball alone, “goes to court” (by which I mean she performs in an instructional video about what lawyers do as directed by someone who doesn't know any lawyers), flashes back to meeting gross Nick (complete with beignet eating and limo crying), takes a plane with her DOG WHOSE NAME IS COPPER (!!!), poses for some pictures, chats with some grandmas, and finally drives up to the mansion. 

Time to meet some guys! 

Pretty Boy Pitbull Kenny King is a wrestler. He is very sweaty and panty for a solid chunk of his intro video and has a very tall ten year old daughter. (Is Rachel ready to get engaged to a man who has a ten year old child and possibly be that child’s step mother?). He makes a pun about rings.

Jack Stone is a lawyer (like Rachel), is 31 (like Rachel), and is from Dallas (like Rachel). He talks about the passing of his mother while staring out at some water and then plays with a dog. 

Alex would like to let you all know that is not a meat head. He likes books and coding and learning and Rubiks Cubes. Ok? Those are things meat heads don't like! Only nerds like those things!

Mohit is a start-up guy. He loves dancing with his family in his living room. 

Alright. Here he fucking is. Whaboom -- a manboy named Lucas who frequently wears shirts that have cartoon versions of his own face on them. This guy is going to be either my most favorite or my least favorite.

Blake E (omega Blake) is a sports nutritionist and certified lunatic. He works out on the beach and talks about how amazing his penis is (by which he means it’s slightly below average). Fuck this guy.

Next up is Diggy, who loves clothes and has 575 pairs of shoes (or 1150 individual shoes). Diggy, you see, is a fashionista. He also has a dog, but we don't get to know how many pairs of shoes the dog owns. 

Josiah makes me cry. Top 5, easily. E A S I L Y . His older brother killed himself when he was younger and Josiah had to cut him down from the tree that he hung himself on. Josiah has an amazing story and is either this season’s winner or next season's Bachelor. 

A meeting of the minds commences. Among Rachel’s panel of advisors is Astrid (who I forgot about), Whitney (who everyone forgot about), nanny-having Corinne, dolphin lady Alexis, Raven (the true winner of Nick Viall’s season of The Bachelor), beautiful princess Kristina, and Jasmine G. (the one who choked Nick -- big fan). Everyone loves Eric, Raven believes that DeMario is amazing (but Whitney thinks he’s THERE FOR THE WRONG REASONS™️), and some ill-advised voice likes Dean (the one who made the “I’m ready to go black and I’m never going back” comment). 

Time for the men to come out of the limo. Finally.

First out of the limo is Peter. He is wearing a nice jacket and doesn't say anything awful. Congratulations, Peter!

Next is Josiah, this season’s winner. He makes a lawyer joke. Smells like a wedding to me!

Out comes chiropractor Bryan. He speaks Spanish and looks like a much more attractive version of my neighbor. 

Kenny calls her “Pretty Rachel” and then dances with her. I am overcome with grief. 

Rob doesn't get much of an introduction, but who cares?

There is also a man named Iggy. Diggy and Iggy. Fine.

Bryce, the transphobic firefighter, lifts Rachel off of her feet. Get out, Bryce.

Next out of the limo is Steve Urkel, followed by Stefan Urquelle. His real name is Will. As in when Will this end?

Here comes Diggy, who loves The Devil Wears Prada. He makes a pun based off of his name. 

Kyle shows Rachel his buns. Who is Kyle?

Blake K (alpha Blake) talks about his grandparents who recently celebrated their 65th wedding anniversary. Big fan of Blake K. Huge.

Brady shows up with a sledge hammer. He is immediately terrifying. He “breaks the ice” at which point I feel he should be lead away from Rachel with his hands behind his back. He is also possibly wearing lavender lipstick. 

Dean, who made that cringe-worthy comment when he first met Rachel, is shaking and grinning. Rachel lies about loving the comment. This is your season, Rachel. You do not have to lie to anyone.

Here comes Eric, my first round draft pick. Now I find him boring. 

DeMario, who brought plane tickets to Vegas to his first encounter with Rachel, looks forward to more “first moments” with her. His confidence is overwhelming. 

Gross Blake E arrives with a marching band. Do less, Blake E. I implore you. (Side note: Blake E’s hair is straight up disgusting).

Let’s make misogynistic comments about Rachel! A smart and funny woman? How is that possible? No woman has ever been smart AND funny! There must be some sort of catch! Several men’s heads explode. 

Fred, who knew Rachel in elementary school, brings a yearbook. Rachel remembers his bad behavior. I sincerely hope he becomes this season’s Liz the Doula. (Miss you, Liz!)

Jonathan, the tickle monster, makes me scream into a pillow. If anyone ever tried to tickle me upon meeting me I would actually knock them out. Not appropriate, creepy Jonathan. 

Lee, whose guitar lets me know it’s alright to hate him, wastes no time in introducing himself as a monster. He is a self-proclaimed singer/songwriter, and a me-proclaimed douchebag.

Alex the Mensa genius brings a vacuum because why not?

Milton, who literally admitted that he wanted to be discovered by a talent agent, takes a selfie with Rachel. Bye!

Adam brings a mannequin named Adam Jr. Adam Jr. (AJ) will more than likely compete on Bachelor in Paradise because Rachel hates him. AJ is left in the corner where he conspires against all of the other men in the house whilst Jonathan tickles people. 

Matt is a penguin. Can’t wait until Alexis decks him on Paradise. 

Grant arrives in an ambulance. 

Anthony is wearing a beige suit. Different!

Jamey is unsavory upon first sight and unsavory upon further inspection.

Jack Stone has a great (crocodile) smile. Maybe he uses it to bite people. 

Mohit makes some kind of comment about her having the upper hand. Is he a dom? A misogynist? Both? Neither? Where are his dancing family members?

A man whose legal name is Jedidiah quotes a Bible verse about crying. He is not wearing a full suit. 

Michael brings a brownie. I pick him.

The men wonder who will go crazy. Here’s Whaboom. He is contractually obligated to show up when someone says “crazy,” “maniac,” “Whaboom,” or “testicles.” He turns bright red while yelling and carries a megaphone. Can't wait until he’s full drunk.

All 31 men (and 1 mannequin) are now in the mansion. Time for Rachel to like actually kind of meet them, but not really because chances are they’ll speak with her for like 10 minutes each and continuously steal her from each other. 

Josiah tells Rachel his story, but she's only kind of buying what he's selling. It’s ok. They just need time to fall in love.

Dean and Rachel build a sand castle together. Dean, the youngest man in the mansion, thinks this is cute. Rachel is his babysitter.

Rob brought a baseball card with Rachel on it. 

Anthony would like to understand Rachel.

Eric and Rachel dance again, but the spark is gone. 

Someone gave AJ a glass of champagne. He is a child! He cannot drink! 

Matt the Penguin asks if Rachel prefers Michael Jackson or Prince while AJ (who, like a clown, is hilarious and terrifying) (mostly terrifying) professes his love for Rachel in French.

Rachel remembered Fred the moment she saw him. He’s the top 5 guy who makes her feel comfortable, connected to her past, but he won't win. 

Bryan steals Rachel. He is mature and handsome and surely top 5 material. His confidence, unlike DeMario’s, is endearing because it’s over-the-top in a funny way. You can tell he doesn't really believe all of these things about himself. (I hope). Rachel and Bryan kiss. She didn’t want to kiss anyone tonight, but says that she enjoyed him. 

The first impression rose is brought out. Everyone starts sweating (and drinking). Let’s be honest. Bryan is getting the rose. No one else spent that kind of time with Rachel. And, as a first impression rose winner herself, she knows who’s real and who’s fake. 

DeMario talks a lot, according to Josiah. Rachel is impressed by his confidence. 

Jamey mentioned that his suit cost $2,000. He is Gob Bluth and I was right to hate him.

Men swarm Rachel. She is starting to get nervous. Cancel the season! Send everyone home! Let Rachel have fun in the mansion by herself. 

Mohit is drunk and can't seem to find the right way to steal Rachel. 

Rachel tells Peter that she doesn’t like chocolate while Whaboom narrates through a megaphone. 

Blake E hates Whaboom so I officially love Whaboom. I would very much like to see Whaboom deck Blake E. I would very much like to see anyone (especially Rachel) deck Blake E.

None of these men seem to realize that they can only have a few minutes with Rachel. There are 31 of you and her time is more valuable than all of yours combined. Get with the picture. 

I also just realized that Alex brought a vacuum because when we first met Rachel during Nick’s season she danced with a vacuum. Fine.

“Cash me outside, how bow dah?” asks Josiah. Oh, Josiah. I was rooting for you. 

Kenny brings up his daughter -- his favorite person in the whole world. Maybe I was wrong to judge him. He’s a good father. 

The first impression rose goes to Bryan because duh. Mohit gasps. He is the DGAP.

it’s finally time for the first rose ceremony!

Roses go to: 

- Normal Peter

- Will Urkel

- Smiley Jack Stone

- Slimy Jamey

- Forgettable Iggy

- Dance Machine Eric

- Confident DeMario

- Jonathan the Creep

- Transphobic Bryce

- Alex the Mega Genius

- Kenny the Wrestling Dad

- Baby Dean

- Matt the Penguin

- Anthony (and his eyebrows)

- Brady the Lip Gloss Aficionado

- Josiah the Future Winner 

- Hatable Lee

- Fashion-forward Diggy

- Fred from Camp

- Adam (but not Adam Jr, which is rude)

- Blake E who is more than likely sticky 

and last, but certainly not least

- Whaboom (because this is reality television)

Roses do not go to:

- Bland Rob

- Drunk Mohit

- Forgettable Kyle 

- Blake K (who actually voluntarily left to see his grandfather in the ICU -- i.e. the true winner of this season)

- Grant, who was not on this episode

- Bible-quoting Jedidiah

- Milton, who will never get the chance to be famous now (FIRST CRY OF THE SEASON)

and

- Brownie-bringing Michael

Alright, the season has begun. Who will win? Who will lose? Who will beat the crap out of Blake E? Here’s to finding out!

[ecoamerica]

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

[briangroth27]

Power Rangers (2017): Go, Go See This!

This is my 100th original blog post! Fitting that it’s about the modernization of one of my favorite things from childhood!

I was seven when Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers premiered on FOX Kids in 1993 and I still vividly recall watching the pilot in my parents’ living room. As soon as that Saturday’s morning cartoons ended, I immediately watched my newly-recorded VHS copy of “Day of the Dumpster” again: the adventures of five “teenagers with attitude” had hooked me instantly! Along with Superman, Batman, the Flash, and TMNT, the Power Rangers were some of the first live-action superheroes I ever saw, and they definitely left an impression. The giant robots (based on dinosaurs, another childhood obsession thanks to the recent release of my still-favorite movie, Jurassic Park) and monsters blew my mind. Amy Jo Johnson was my first celebrity crush. I took Tae Kwan Do for a few years solely because of Power Rangers. I still have all the original action figures, the Morpher & Power Coins, the Blade Blaster, the Megazord, and the Sega Genesis video game. I fell out of the Ranger fandom after Zeo ended, but I’ve always fondly remembered the originals. I went into the new movie just hoping it would be fun and proud of its roots; things like the R-rated Power/Rangers by Adi Shankar are cool and all, but the real Power Rangers don’t need to be grim and gritty. I left the theater humming the theme song with a huge smile; this movie is great!

If you were a fan of the show, you’ll love the new movie for taking the characters deeper than the original series did and for the clear love it has for its source material. If you thought the show was too cheesy, you’ll probably appreciate the modernized themes and issues the teens face here. The movie makes you wait for most of the action, but the characters were fun and compelling enough (and the actors strong enough) that it never felt slow. When the action does arrive, it’s earned and very well-tied to the characters’ arcs! That connection, striking at the core of the Rangers mythos, also makes for an important message about teamwork and understanding.

I didn’t think the Rangers needed to have powers when not morphed, but it didn’t hurt the story to introduce that aspect either (though it does remove an easy path to drama if they’re attacked and can’t morph). The Putties were formidable even with super-strength, so not having powers would’ve led to the unmorphed Rangers’ immediate deaths in this film (a rare case of the movies scaling the villains up to meet the standards of the heroes, something I wish Superman films would do with everyone not named Zod). I thought the suits were a little over-designed and bulky, preferring the ones from 1995’s film, but I didn’t hate them. Similarly, I prefer the simplicity of the original zord and Megazord designs, but these are good too. Jason gets his Power Sword during the fight with the Putty Patrol, but I wish everyone else had gotten their Ranger-specific weapons too (Zack’s ax, Billy’s lance, Kim’s bow, and Trini’s daggers). The final showdown didn’t feel rushed; I totally felt that it was worth the wait. That the team visibly showed fear during the final battle also humanized them and helped sell the idea that they were still teens and not at all polished superheroes, despite their mighty powers. 

Though the film looks a little washed out in terms of its color palette, there’s a great energy running through it. The effects were solid and felt realistic. I loved all the nods to the original series, such as the movie’s MacGuffin (the Zeo Crystal), what seemed like a shout-out to one of Rita’s best henchman (Scorpina), and an outstanding, iconic scene during the final battle. While there is a definite sequel teased in the mid-credits scene, this is a complete movie and I loved that it didn’t just feel like a stepping stone to bigger things.  

Absolutely see this!

Full Spoilers… 

My absolute favorite aspect of the movie was its focus on friendship and the need for the Rangers to harmonize in order for their powers to fully work. Like their Megazord, the Power Rangers are a team that’s stronger together than they are individually, and their literal inability to morph until after they’ve opened up and bonded with each other was portrayed perfectly. This was an excellent bridge between their character arcs (which felt like real things modern teens go through) and the superhero side of the story. There’s an important metaphor in your friends giving you the power to become a supercharged version of yourself capable of fighting your demons, and to paraphrase Zordon’s catchphrase from the series, that power protects these kids (and hopefully, the kids in the audience who see the value of connection and teamwork). Given the realistic diversity of this cast, it’s also easy to see this as a broader metaphor that the only way to survive and harness our true potential is to understand each other and work together.

Always believing the teens’ “attitude” meant good attitudes, I was initially skeptical when the trailer cast the Rangers-to-be as juvenile delinquents rather than the show’s socially conscious do-gooders, but the trailer was misleading. Jason (Dacre Montgomery), Kimberly (Naomi Scott), and Billy (RJ Cyler) meet in detention and Zack (Ludi Lin) skips school a lot, but none of them are terrible people needing epic redemption arcs. Instead, they’ve made mistakes (Jason’s in trouble for a prank gone very awry and Billy for an innocent experiment with explosives), but are still generally good kids. 

Kimberly did the worst thing—forwarding a scandalous picture of one of her ex-friends—but it didn’t mar her character as much as I feared it would (I was spoiled on that plot point). She and the movie acknowledge this as the awful thing it is and I was impressed that she immediately shot down Jason’s well-intended suggestion that she forgive herself because there are “lots of pictures out there.” Instead, she correctly points out that it changes nothing about the picture she sent or the effect it had on her former friend. “Everyone else does it” doesn’t comfort her or excuse her actions and the fact that she knows how bad it was and has clearly grown softened this change from the show’s Kimberly for me. Scott’s Kim isn’t the valley girl Johnson was, but you can definitely see hints that she used to be a similar popular girl. Despite the darker backstory, Scott channels the corresponding original actor more than anyone else in the film, crafting a performance that’s her own but includes strong shades of Amy Jo Johnson (as well as a dash of Buffy season 1-Sarah Michelle Gellar). She probably has the most personal growth in the film and, along with Billy, was my favorite character.

Billy’s still the brains of the team and sets their ascent to Rangerhood into motion. Though Cyler brought a different energy to Billy than David Yost did, he was still most definitely “Billy.” While Scott channeled her predecessor most, Cyler channels the essence of the original character most. Everyone deserves to see themselves as heroes, so I loved that the film delivered an autistic hero in Billy, something I don’t think any other superhero movie or TV show has done yet. To the film’s credit, his being on the Spectrum is never portrayed as something to overcome or a handicap he’s “so brave” to live with; it’s merely a fact of his life and doesn’t hamper his superheroics in any way. Cyler brought an instant likability to Billy that pulled me into the Rangers’ circle and played perfectly against his hidden pain over to the loss of his father. Because he’s so personable, Billy’s death hit me hard (even though I didn’t think it’d be permanent) and the other Rangers’ reactions felt realistic and believable—though they’re only together a week, the team’s bonding feels real.

Jason’s prank causes property damage so he isn’t initially the Boy Scout from the show (though he is a jock), but I really liked that his movie arc takes that idea and shows us how he might’ve gotten there, molding him into the upstanding (and understanding) father figure he craves as he takes on leadership of the Power Rangers. While he does have a father (David Denman) in the movie, there’s clearly a distance between them. What exactly caused it isn’t revealed beyond his dad not understanding him and perhaps having goals and expectations Jason doesn’t want for himself, so Jason’s issues felt the most routine and well-trodden in terms of movies and TV. However, his relationship with the Rangers is more important than with his parents, so I was satisfied that Jason’s parental issues were resolved by Zordon standing in for his dad, particularly when Jason found out why the Rangers morphing was so important to Zordon's plans. I liked that even though he was chosen to be the leader by virtue of being the Red Ranger, he wasn’t a natural and it felt like he had to earn that position, both in Zordon’s eyes and in terms of motivating the team. As familiar as Jason’s issues were (perhaps they were delivered in shorthand precisely because they're so universal), Montgomery never came off as boring or bland and he was a good lead.

Zack was fun and I liked that his up-for-anything bravado (an update of show Zack’s charisma, party-guy attitude, and jokester persona) was a cover for the knowledge that he’d probably very soon lose his mom (Fiona Fu) to her illness. While he and Trini (Becky G) could’ve definitely used more screentime to match the arcs Jason, Kimberly, and Billy had, I think Zack gets enough for Lin to display the fears just under the surface of his cool guy façade. He also gets to have some serious fun joyriding in his zord and physicalizes the tension and pressure the team’s under to become perfect superheroes in a week when he comes to blows with Jason. So, even though he wasn’t as big a focus as he should’ve been, he contributed to the personality mix in unique ways. Trini absolutely needed more material—her and Zack’s reduced screentime compared to everyone else is my one big negative note about the film—but what she got worked well. MMPR’s Trini was soft-spoken and polite, which here translated into a disaffected loner persona, owing to being moved around a lot and her parents’ (Erica Cerra, Patrick Sabongui) inability to accept her as anything other than the normal daughter they wanted. I liked that they made her the first LGBTQ movie superhero (Mystique and Harley Quinn are bi in the comics, but the X-films and Suicide Squad haven’t had that onscreen yet) and didn’t mind that this amounted to one conversation: none of the other Rangers have love lives explored here either. While Trini is guarded for a good portion of the film and her limited screentime gives her the hardest time when it comes to connecting with the others, I thought Becky G pulled the arc off. I bought her reasons for not talking sooner and her growing friendship with/trust in the others, particularly Kimberly, felt genuine. Not giving Trini more to do was a missed opportunity for what could’ve been a fun sequence of her using her superpowers to evade her helicopter parents to go train. Speaking of her parents, it’s odd they didn’t hear her room being trashed by Rita. She could’ve written the damage off as (extremely localized) effects of Goldar’s attack later on, but someone should’ve heard walls being dented. That could’ve been an opportunity to employ a classic “superhero has to explain extraordinary problems to keep their identity secret” moment. Given Becky G’s sardonic delivery when questioned about where she’d been spending her nights, she could’ve told her parents exactly what happened, comically upending those superhero tropes.

One of the film’s biggest surprises was that Zordon (Bryan Cranston) has an actual arc, making him far more interesting than the show’s version. I’d heard there was a prologue focusing on his history with Rita Repulsa (Elizabeth Banks), but feared a focus on Zordon and Rita might overshadow the Rangers themselves. That prologue is only a couple of minutes long, but Zordon’s desire to have a physical body again was still unexpectedly touching. His tension with the Rangers over this point provided some good conflict I didn’t see coming. Alpha 5 (Bill Hader) was another big improvement over the original version, who I always found annoying. Banks was entirely over the top as Rita, but that’s exactly who Rita is supposed to be! Like the Joker, I really don’t have an interest in an entirely serious version of Rita Repulsa. In fact, Banks’ casting—along with the tag line “Go Go”—was the first thing that convinced me this wasn’t going to be the super-serious mess it could’ve been in our current “gritty is automatically superior” pop culture mindset. Rita’s full-on insane and she fit in without breaking the tone of the movie, even against the grounded Rangers. I never felt she wasn’t a deadly serious threat (she kills several Rangers in this movie alone!).

It was cool that Amy Jo Johnson and Jason David Frank (my favorite original Rangers) got cameos here! I wish David Yost, Austin St. John, and Walter Jones also appeared; maybe next time. Jason Narvy and Paul Schrier really should get cameos too; as the original series’ Bulk and Skull, they were the longest-running characters in the show’s history. With that in mind, I was surprised a new Bulk and Skull didn’t make an appearance here…Jason’s prank buddy Damo (Matt Shively), possibly feeling rejected after Jason finds new friends, and the “Bully of Detention” (Wesley MacInnes) could’ve easily been them.

The post-credit scene lays out the arrival of Tommy Oliver, the Green Ranger, though I wouldn’t have minded one more film with just the original five Rangers. With five more films planned, there’s more than enough time to explore the dynamic between these kids before throwing Tommy into the mix. Still, I’m definitely excited for the prospect of a traitor Ranger, especially with this film’s emphasis on the team’s need for unity and trust to morph. Someone who can get past their defenses, earn their trust, and then stab them in the back will be a perfect, devastating adversary!

I love that we’re getting something of a Ranger renaissance now (to say nothing of the fact that 24 years and several iterations later, the show is still going). Not only did this movie come out (along with a tie-in sequel comic), but there’s an excellent ongoing Boom! Studios comic book featuring the original team! It’s set right after MMPR’s “Green With Evil” saga and deals with the Rangers learning to trust Tommy, and whether or not he can trust himself to be free of Rita’s influence. There’s also a fun Kimberly-focused 6-issue miniseries (“Pink”), set after she left the team, a crossover with the Justice League, and a brand new ongoing series set right after “Day of the Dumpster,” Saban’s Go Go Power Rangers, coming soon! While it’s at the other end of the tonal spectrum, Adi Shankar is trying to put together a gritty, adult-focused animated series about Power Rangers too. And of course, Saban & Lionsgate are planning at least five more films in the rebooted series, one of which may be a prequel focusing on Zordon and Rita’s team. With the film taking a series of hits at the box office after a strong opening, I think these plans might be pared down, but I really hope we get to see these Rangers’ adventures continue. Rather than rushing to create an entire universe at once, focus on making an excellent sequel to this one’s already superb foundation and then build from there!

[backfist]

1-100 PLEASE THANKS

oh man ok

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora?  PANDORA

is your room messy or clean? CLEAN BOY

what color are your eyes? BROWN

do you like your name? why? YEAH, WOULDNT WANT ANYTHING ELSE

what is your relationship status? SINGLE AW YEE

describe your personality in 3 words or less? FUNNY SARCASTIC LOVER

what color hair do you have? BROWN

what kind of car do you drive? color? GREY ESCAPE

where do you shop? AMAZON KROGER MEIJER WALMART EVERYWHERE

how would you describe your style? COMFORT OVER EVERYTHING

favorite social media account TUMBLR

what size bed do you have? QUEEN

any siblings? NAH IM ONLY CHILD

if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why? MY OWN ISLAND BECAUSE THAT SOUNDS LIKE FUN

favorite snapchat filter? THE FLOWER CROWN

favorite makeup brand(s) DONT WEAR IT

how many times a week do you shower? AT LEAST ONCE A DAY, IF NOT TWICE

favorite tv show? BONES

shoe size? 12

how tall are you? 5 FT 11 IN

sandals or sneakers? TIMBS

do you go to the gym? YES I LOVE IT

describe your dream date HAVING A GOOD TIME TOGETHER, NOT TOO MANY PEOPLE, COOKING FOR HER AND MAKING HER FEEL SPECIAL

how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? GOSH NOT ENOUGH

what color socks are you wearing? NONE

how many pillows do you sleep with? 4

do you have a job? what do you do? YES. I MANAGE SMALL CHILDREN BASICALLY LOL

how many friends do you have? FEW BUT QUALITY

whats the worst thing you have ever done? PROBABLY KILLED A MAN (KIDDING) UHH, PROBABLY DIDNT TELL MY FRIEND HIS GIRL WAS CHEATING ON HIM OOPS

whats your favorite candle scent? CAFE

3 favorite boy names MARCUS, DANIEL, CHRIS

3 favorite girl names DANI OR DANIELLE, NICOLE, ALEX

favorite actor? JAKE GYLLENHALL

favorite actress? VIOLA DAVIS

who is your celebrity crush? JOANNA JEDRZEJCZYK

favorite movie? 7 POUNDS

do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? I TRY TO, AND HUNGER GAMES

money or brains? BRAIN ALL DAY

do you have a nickname? what is it? PEPPER

how many times have you been to the hospital? TOO MANY TIMES

top 10 favorite songs OKAY HOW ABOUT I JUST SAY I LOVE PASSIONFRUIT OFF OF DRAKES NEW ALBUM

do you take any medications daily? NOPE

what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) MEDIUM, KINDA DRY

what is your biggest fear? SHARKS

how many kids do you want? 1 OR 2

whats your go to hair style? SHORT SIDES AND BACK, LITTLE LONGER ON TOP

what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) MEDIUM

who is your role model? TIM DUNCAN

what was the last compliment you received? YOU LOOK OKAY TODAY

what was the last text you sent? IT SUCKS, I KNOWSENT TO MIRANDA

how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? ALWAYS KNEW

what is your dream car? DODGE CHARGER AND A RANGE ROVER TOO

opinion on smoking? I DONT LIKE TOBACCO

do you go to college? YES

what is your dream job? VOICE ACTOR

would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? BURBS

do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? HELL YEAH

do you have freckles? NAH

do you smile for pictures? NO TEEF

how many pictures do you have on your phone? COUPLE HUNDRED

have you ever peed in the woods? YES

do you still watch cartoons? YES

do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? 1998 MULAN SZECHUAN MCNUGGET DIPPING SAUCE

Favorite dipping sauce? SWEET CHILI

what do you wear to bed? NADA HEH

have you ever won a spelling bee? YES

what are your hobbies? MARTIAL ARTS, WRITING, SWIMMING, BIKING, TUMBLR

can you draw? POORLY

do you play an instrument? VIOLIN

what was the last concert you saw? NEVER BEEN

tea or coffee? ICE TEA

Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? DA BUCKS

do you want to get married? YES

what is your crush’s first and last initial? Z Z Z ITS SLEEP

are you going to change your last name when you get married? IF HERS IS BETTER HELL YEAH

what color looks best on you? PURPLE

do you miss anyone right now? CHEA

do you sleep with your door open or closed? CLOSED

do you believe in ghosts? KINDA, THEY JUST DEMONS THO

what is your biggest pet peeve? INDECISIVENESS, BAD BODY HYGENE

last person you called MI MADRE

favorite ice cream flavor? COOKIE DOUGH

regular oreos or golden oreos? REG BOY

chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? RAINBOW

what shirt are you wearing? IM NOT

what is your phone background? ITS OF THIS SWEET PICTURE OF RAIN ON GLASS

are you outgoing or shy? KINDA SHY AROUND NEW PEOPLE

do you like it when people play with your hair? YES PLEASE I NEED IT

do you like your neighbors? YEAH THEY COOL

do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? BOTH

have you ever been high? I LOVE BEING AT THE HOSPITAL

have you ever been drunk? NO

last thing you ate? CHICKEN WRAP AND NACHOS

favorite lyrics right now ALL OF PASSIONFRUIT

summer or winter? WINTER

day or night? NIGHT OF COURSE

dark, milk, or white chocolate? DARK

favorite month? APRIL

what is your zodiac sign ARIES

who was the last person you cried in front of? OH LAWD UM, I THINK LAINE OVER TEXT LMAO BUT IRL PROBABLY MY FRIEND DANAIT IS DONE

[fyrapartnersearch]

Summertime Sadness (M/M, Originals)

Hello, friendos! Right off the bat I will tell you that this roleplay ad is going to me more on the longer side, so I ask you to bear with me and make it through, so at the end, I will have expressed all my wants and you will know if my ad suits you or not.

About me: You can call me Kat or Katherine or Katie or whatever you want. I’m a lass well into my twenties that is looking for other lasses to roleplay with. I’m sorry lads, but I’ve had a loooot of unpleasant experiences with guys who were…let’s just say that world building and character development weren’t their primary goals. I’m located in Europe, so I’m in the GMT timezone, that means pretty ahead of EST, CST and all the other American timezones. That being said, I don’t care about your timezone, as long as you can be an active partner. I have a pretty long roleplay experience, I would say. I first began roleplaying when forums were a thing, then moved to Omegle and from there I stumbled into roleplaying sites, such as this one. I would say, a total of twelve or thirteen years of roleplaying.

How to contact me: My email address is kat.roleplays@outlook.com For the roleplay I use exclusively email, but for talking and planning and plotting, I can use Discord or Hangouts or WhatsApp, depends on what feels more comfortable for you. I mostly use Discord, but a separate email thread works just as well. When you first send me an email, please write more than “Hi! I saw your ad and I would be interested. Please add details about you, your roleplay style, what you like, what you dislike and your availability. I will me much more inclined to take you on your offer.

What I’m looking for in a partner: Please, be over 18. I have nothing against underage writers, I think a sixteen years old can write just as nicely as a twenty or thirty years old, but due to the themes I tend to include in my writing, as well as the NSFW content, I can’t roleplay with minors. Please, be active. I’m looking for someone who can send multiple replies a day and keep the story going. I’m also a fan of rapid-fire, but I understand that some people can offer that. Of course, real life comes first, but if you could dedicate some hours a day to send replies back and forth, that would be amazing! Be polite! You don’t like my style or my characters? Alright. Tell me about it so we could talk it through. If you think there is an irreconcilable difference between us, that’s also alright. Just tell me nicely and we will terminate the roleplay on good terms. No need to be rude to each other! Be LGBT and diversity friendly. I will not tolerate anyone who hate people for the sake of hating people, just because they are different.

About the roleplay: Now, onto the good stuff. Details about what I’m looking for in a roleplay. This one has more subcategories. Style: I roleplay in third person, past tense (“I had so much fun at the party!” Kat told her friend), but I’m perfectly okay if my partner prefers the present tense, just as it’s still the third person. First person roleplays feel oddly like self-inserts and have a creepy vibe. Be literate when you write. No text talk, well…unless the characters are texting each other. Then, emojis are allowed too. Also, you can write accents and such. I don’t want to roleplay with Charles Dickens, but, for me, roleplaying is like writing a book. I don’t want it to look…well, you know.

Length of the replies:  One or two paragraphs. Since I want replies back and forth, I won’t be exaggerated and ask three or more paragraphs. As long as you can put some meaning into one or two well written paragraphs (they don’t even have to be fat paragraphs), we are game!

Characters and ships: I only write original characters! I enjoy well developed, realistic and flawed characters. No Mary-Sues of Gary-Stues. Of course, the characters don’t have to have tragic or awful flaws, but perfection is unrealistic, peeps! Tying into my previous statement, characters with a tragic past who are all gruff, doom and gloom, cynical and stone hearted are a no for me. I don’t mind if they have a tragic past, as long as they are not unpleasant people. Basically, no “AHole with a heart of gold trope”, I don’t mess with that. Nor with “the character is an AHole now, but once you get to know him, he gets better” trope. I enjoy characters who are nice and approachable. Don’t come at me with some dark, brooding and misunderstood person. I’m not saying they are bad, they are just…not what I mess with. I usually enjoy a large group of characters in the roleplay. Having just the main pair can get boring real quick, at least for me. I need to see them interacting with their parents, their friends, their people, not just their lover. For the main pair, I’m interested in a M/M romance, but on the sides we can have M/F and F/F, I think diversity is fun. When writing romance, our characters could either start by being friends, or already in an established relationship, or building romance from scratch, although, I must warn you, I’m not terribly good at writing slow burn or pinning.

Themes suggested (this list is not complete and I do accept other suggestions): Fantasy (modern, urban) – Of course, I love supernatural creatures as much as the next person and I would like to see vampires, werewolves, elves, warlocks and such just going about their lives and living a human life. This, of course, asks for humanoid creatures, so, just ones that look as humans. I could even do Slice-of-Life with a fantasy twist. Romance – This is a big must for me. I’m a sap of a person and a good, fluffy, loving and healthy relationship is something I absolutely love in a roleplay. Other themes that can be discussed: Adventure, mystery.

Settings suggested (this list is not complete and I do accept other suggestions): Academia (please, do this with me), the big city, small town and small idyllic village in the country side.

Faceclaims: They are not a requirement, but I’m a visual person and having a visual reference would help me sooo much. However, I only do realistic faceclaims, people such as celebrities, male models, or random people found on Google, not animes or cartoons. I’m sorry, it’s just a preference.

NSFW info: I do write smut, I enjoy writing smut, but I can also fade to black for my partner if that’s required. I usually don’t do anything too fancy, only vanilla.

What I won’t do: Anything illegal, gross or things that come against nature (MPreg), also, no Omegaverse.

With that being said, I hope something here caught your interest and you will send me a mail. I hope you’ve read my ad fully, you can ask for clarifications anytime.

[novelmachine]

Ten UNDERTALE Fanworks Every Fan Needs to Check Out

It’s February 15th, time once again to celebrate International Fanworks Day! Seriously, how great is that? Whether it’s books, movies, comics, games or television series, fanworks make up a huge part of their communities. This year I’m tackling UNDERTALE, the game that most people (myself included) fell in love with and whose fandom is still going strong more than a year later.

Some of them have been completed, some of them are only partially done, and some of them have been forgotten. Regardless of their status, I think they’re special and amazing and I hope you will love them as much as I do. I’ll do my best to leave out any spoilers.

Death by Glamour

Here’s a neat animatic featuring our favorite human and robot. Animated by Alyssa Gerwing, this video makes their battle look really cool, bringing the fight sequence out of the box and into UNDERTALE’s real world. You have to love the pacing and timing, which is perfectly in sync with the boss music. The facial expressions really give it something extra, whether it be humor or drama. What a stylish video! @walkingmelonsaaa

Papyrus Finds a Human

This animation was an unexpected delight. This was not the cutesy video I thought it would be. With it’s mild swearing and cartoon violence, Mike (a.k.a. Piemations) created a brilliantly funny video. The voice acting is flawless. The punchlines hit home. Papyrus is the best. I can’t write much else without giving all the best bits away. Just go experience it for yourself. As an added bonus, I highly recommend turning on the subtitles while watching the video for the second time. You will not be disappointed.

UNDERTALE ANNIVERSARY

This animation blew me away. I was a fan of iscoppie’s Game Grumps animations before this, but wow. This six-minute video depicts a moment I rarely see people tackle: how Undyne and Alphys met. It’s a bittersweet meeting when you really think about it, and this animation captures and balances all of the emotions involved: fear, hope, resignation, awe. The colors are gorgeous, the voice talent is wonder, and the music is beautiful. This is the best UNDERTALE tribute to date. @iscoppie

The Sons of Gaster

There are many theories as to how, or even if, Sans and Papyrus are connected to W.D. Gaster. One popular theory is that they were created by the doctor. This two-part comic series by sansybones depicts the skeleton brothers’ beginnings: their time with Gaster, growing and gaining independence, and how the two bros become family. The black-and-white style–with the occasional blue–is very effective and looks really nice. I especially love Papyrus’ facial expressions; they capture his personality perfectly. One thing I do appreciate is that this isn’t just a Sans story. Papyrus is just as important and has just as much focus and growth. Sansybones’ depiction of the UNDERTALE characters is fantastic. Their feelings, struggles, and personalities feel genuine and sincere. It’s an emotional roller coaster well worth the ride. @sansybones

They Say He Shattered

I’m a big fan of the multiverse theory. I’ve talked about it extensively in regards to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. If you’re like me, then this comic is right up your alley. Emily plays with the idea of timelines collapsing and converging in They Say He Shattered, creating the best kind of mess. It’s a fascinating story that balances humor and seriousness very well. Each game ending results in another dimension, but it seems the very fabric of time and space has been broken. Characters come face-to-face with different realities or feel the effects of forces on their other selves. Some things happen out of order. Some things that never should have been are now possible. It’s really hard to explain, but well worth a read. I’m really excited to get to the bottom of this mystery. @theysayheshattered

A CHARActer Analysis

Normally when we think of “fanwork” we think of art, music, fanfiction, cosplay, videos, and animation. However, this thesis bears recognition. Toby Fox created a cast of characters rich in personality and full of life. Chara is one of the only characters in UNDERTALE to be almost unanimously revered and portrayed as one-dimensional. They’re evil and hate humanity and that’s the end of that. Only it’s not. In this analysis we are shown every detail we may have missed. Chara’s story is scattered throughout the game. There are so many subtle hints and clues that most people wouldn’t notice or even think twice about. This in-depth thesis is by far the best explanation of who/what Chara is, who they were, and their role in the overall game. With all of this evidence, you may find yourself viewing Chara in a completely different light. @thefloweryfanclub

Never a Lovely So Real

The artwork shown above was created by theslowesthnery.

Of all the UNDERTALE AU’s, the Gangster/Mob AU is my big favorite. I adore this AU, and this fanficiton was heaven-sent. Kaesa’s Never a Lovely So Real is loosely based on Hnery’s neat headcanons and spectacular art surrounding the Gangster AU. This story is told from Sans’ point of view as he tries to keep the family safe. You have all of your favorite major characters playing their roles in the operation, while a lot of minor characters show up frequently as well. I really appreciate that Sans and Alphys are science bros and have to work as a team. I normally don’t like a who lot of new characters being added into fanfictions, but here it works. Getting to know the rival gang members goes to show that not everything is black-and-white, especially in these types of situations. Much like the game, the “bad guys” aren’t always bad guys. One of the greatest things about this fanfiction is how much research and knowledge went into it. I was impressed by how authentic this story felt the first time I read through it. Kaesa did her homework and it shows. There’s mystery. There’s action. There’s romance. There’s suspense. This is a great work. Did I mention the Gangster AU was my favorite? @kaesaaurelia 

Under Shield

The artwork shown above was created by hamstermastersamster.

Here we have my favorite post-true-pacifist story. Under Shield by Fantasia Wandering is a series of fics told out of order telling of Frisk growing up and growing into their role as ambassador, as well as dealing with their past and becoming part of a family again. Frisk is given a lot of character and background, but it never seems like too much. Frisk is a person with big feelings and big thoughts, and sometimes they can weigh too heavily on their mind. These feelings, accompanied with the struggles of growing up, are relatable to everyone and make it easy to slip into Frisk’s shoes. Although Frisk is the main focus, some of the main cast have important developments as well. One of the most powerful chapters in this series is the eighth part: Penance. Asgore’s redemption arc is a prominent theme throughout the series. He’s not immediately forgiven for his sins by Toriel, or even himself. This in turn affects his relationship with Frisk. It’s a process that takes many years and the reader is there for each important step. This fic’s strongest suit is its stunning imagery. The environments Fantasia has created are painted so vividly. Any reader can picture the settings in great detail. Overall, this is one well-written series. @fantasiawandering

Blood of the Covenant

The artwork shown above was created by donidoodles.

Remember when PTA Sans was a thing? Well, this is the PTA slice-of-life UNDERTALE story the fans deserve. Blood of the Covenant takes place nearly a decade after the game. Everyone has grown up–and it shows–but they still retain their character. Doni’s characterization is so on point. This fic has the most realistic high school you’ll ever find. None of that Lifetime or Disney Channel nonsense here. The history teacher coaches the football team, the PTA is a hot mess, and aside form a few ass-hats the kids are generally nice and friendly. (Is this my high school? I feel like this was based on my high school.) The story’s strongest appeal is that every character’s time is balanced and utilized effectively. This cast is huge and yet every single one of them has their time to shine. I’ve read a lot of UNDERTALE PTA fics and most of them are a lot of fun, but a common trend in those stories is that the human members of the PTA (Linda, Helen, etc.) are usually so cartoonish and two-dimensional, like their only purpose is to be ignorant evil villains. Here our antagonists are fleshed out. They have feelings, struggles, even arcs of their own. They learn and grow just as the protagonists do. This is a fantastic, well-rounded story. I lost so much sleep the first time I read through it because I could not stop. It was all worth it, though. I promise. @doniblogs

The Scientist

The link provided leads to AO3, but you can also read it on Tumblr. The artwork shown above was created by hamstermastersamster.

This is my favorite pre-game scenario. Out of all the fanfictions I’ve read, this two-part series written by Pen has the best portrayal of Dr. W.D. Gaster and his backstory. The first part of the series, The Scientist, revolves around the life and times of the royal scientist before Dr. Alphys got the job. The passage of time feels seamless, from the point of monsters’ imprisonment to the end of Gaster’s existence. It makes sense and goes right along with UNDERTALE’s timeline. Everything fits together like a puzzle. I could go on and on about the relationship between Gaster and Sans. It is just so strong and told very well. They are co-workers instead of father and son as I’ve seen in many fanfictions. (I prefer the colleague dynamic, actually.) The audience can get a real sense that their bond teeters between healthy camaraderie and toxic friendship, eventually falling to the side of the latter. The second part in the series, Entropy, shifts the focus onto Sans and how he deals with the aftermath of Gaster’s disappearance. It shows Sans’ own decline; he is deteriorating into the character we see in-game. This story is as well-written and intriguing as its predecessor. It paints by far the most natural, realistic relationship between Papyrus and Sans. Their situation, their dialogue, and their banter is so believable. There’s something really pure about it that just makes me smile. This series, you guys. This series. @talkingsoup

So there you have it! I had so much fun making this list. I can’t believe I’ve been working on this post for a whole year.Shortly after I made a similar post about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle fanworks last International Fanworks Day, I got right to work on this one. Thanks as always to anyone who read this. If you’d like to discuss anything you read here today or have recommendations of your own, please feel free to reply to this post or drop something in my ask box. Have an awesome day, friends! @undertale

[thefloatingstone]

I feel like talking about my books

Instead of working on the next page of the comic I took photos of some of my books because I wanted to show you guys. Because I honestly like books a lot, and I’ve got some interesting/weird ones I wanted to share.

And sometimes I just like to remind myself of nice things I have. (sorry for the bad photos)

1:

This is a really really good book.

It’s all about ways and cases of how people have faked “new species” or “scientific evidence” of mythical creatures using weird taxidermy, photo-doctoring and other ways in which people have SUCCESSFULLY FOOLED a large enough group of people for a while to be noteworthy. The book was published in 1975 and is honestly written in a way that you can tell the author was having an enormous amount of fun, never dodging facts and never letting a good story ruin what is the truth, but also thoroughly enjoying the joke on people and sometimes celebrating the insane creativity behind some of these creations.

The book includes things you’d expect like the Fiji mermaid, and the unicorn skeleton which was pretty infamous, but also bizarre things like the fur-bearing trout.

I got it for $3 at a flea market.

2:

I’m gonna avoid saying “this is a good book” or I’m gonna say that on every single one of these.

This is a book written in english by an english speaking author who lives in Japan, and although it includes a section on Anime, Chanbara and Kaiju, it also covers all the other sections of Japanese cinema that the non-Japanese audience might not even be aware of. From dramas to Pink movies to ‘Japan on Japan’ to art house. It’s probably the best book I’ve seen on Japanese cinema that offers a really broad look at the country’s film history, rather than focusing on the few exports we associate with the country.

I got this at a warehouse sale where the bookstore chain in this country use to have a bi-monthly thing where they sell their extra stock by weight, rather than cover price. Otherwise I probably wouldn’t have been able to afford the $50 price tag.

3:

The best book on Archaeology I’ve managed to find thus far. I’ve tried finding other books that match how good this one is but I haven’t managed it yet. I’ve found inferior books on Archaeological discoveries, and books about like... the process of archaeology itself, but not a book that documents the histories and stories behind the discoveries themselves, talking about the persons who made the discoveries, the nature of each discovery, the time setting and weird events around the excavations. As well as giving facts about everyday life of people in the past and what each discovered item teaches us.

It’s in this book I learned about Mrs. Pretty and Jean Louis Buckhart. I’m just angry this book I bought on a whim turned out to be the best one and I now have an impossibly high standard for any future books on the subject.

I have this other book about lost treasures and In the Mrs. pretty story it uses a pun on 50 Shades of Grey for the chapter title. Just... fuck off.

4:

I actually keep meaning to read this one and I still need to get around to it because I’m pretty bad at reading. I never seem to just sit down and do it unless I’m forced to.

However I’m still kinda into this book as a concept at least. The blurb says:

The Bible is full of myth and full of mystery and the Very Rev Gillbert Thurlow, the Dean of Gloucester takes the well known stories of the Old Testament and explains the purpose and symbolism behind the myths, showing where myth ends and history begins and how relevant these stories are to us today. He then goes on to examine the nature of the Mysteries of the New Testament.

And you guys know me, I’m all about symbolism and deeper meaning behind things (within reason)

The book was published in 1974. I got is for $4 at a flea market.

5:

“Misao to Fukumaru” is a small little book with no actual writing in it. It’s a collection of photos taken of the author’s grandmother and her partially deaf cat living in rural Japan. It’s a gorgeous little book showing simple, everyday life and happiness. I have the second one too but the first one is much better. The second one is mainly made up of the B-roll and it kinda shows.

6:

A book about the history of toys. Underneath it you can see my other book on toy history, but I decided to show this one instead. The other book documents the history behind things like Troll dolls and hula hoops, whereas this book instead is more “historical” for lack of a better word. Showing us popular toys from hundreds of years ago and earlier. Showing things like Ancient Egyptian horses on wheels to be pulled by string, doll houses from Victorian England, and french dolls from the Rococo period. It’s almost a bit heartbreaking to see the artistry in these toys, and compare to the cheap manufactured factory stuff made today. However I suppose back then only rich kids could get toys, instead of being widely available for everyone the way it is today.

Oh well.

7:

I highly recommend this book if you can get your hands on it!

Honestly, I’ve found it hard to find any books on exploitation movies. Yes, there’s the Internet and shows like ‘The Cinema Snob’ which fills in a lot of the gaps, but no real BOOKS on the film subgenre. This is the best one I’ve managed to find that focuses on the topic itself, rather than talk about exploitation films as a single chapter in a book on film as a whole. Which is a shame, because Exploitation ‘trash’ (and yes. a LOT of it is complete trash) helped build movies into what they are today, for better or worse. They played a very vital role in shaping cinema, and not only that, but to ignore parts of history in favour of other parts paints an inaccurate picture of a time period.

It’s why you have people who believe ‘Saw invented Torture Porn’ when movies like ‘Blood-Sucking Freaks’ have existed since the 60s.

I once attended a screening by Jerry Beck on his ‘Worst Cartoons Ever’ show, where he states that he believed preserving terrible awful shit cartoons to be very important, and how nobody was doing it. Because “If we only remember the good and forget about the bad, of course we’re gonna say ‘Everything was so much better 20 years ago!’ If we ignore the crap how can we really see how much we’ve improved?”

Exploitation films are why the modern horror genre even exists tbh. Hollywood saw how much money ‘Last House on the Left’, ‘Halloween’, ‘The Texas Chainsaw Massacre’ and ‘Friday the 13th’ were making and went “Hey! There’s money here!” and made ‘Nightmare on Elm Street’. The first mainstream blood-soaked horror movie widely distributed.

Which, sadly, mostly killed the exploitation circuit. Because when all you have to fall back on is blood and nudity, how can you compete when Hollywood, which actually has money, starts muscling in on your territory.

Hilariously the opposite is now starting to be true. Hollywood is so focused on churning out stupid gore-soaked horror movies that people are starting to pay more attention to the low-budget indie films that tend to have more thought put into them.

No photos of the inside on this one because it’s an indie released book (as it should be) and printing costs limited how many pictures could be included, so it’s mostly text.

I bought this from the Author while visiting friends in L.A.