#who says angels have unpure thoughts

[ineffableaddiction]

Aziraphale awakens, remembering the details of the dream he’d had.

He decided against recounting it to Crowley.

[bendycxmet]

You can run with this idea however you’d like I just needed to get this thought out there and share it… Yknow how Vash’s earring connects to his pen and he can hear through it. What if he hears more than he bargained for with the reader.

thank you so much for this omg i had so many thoughts for the rest of the day when i read this. anyway, enjoy!

tw: nsfw 18+ MDNI, masturbation, accidental voyeurism

Do You Copy?

Vash sits quietly at the inn desk, the dingy metal lamp on the corner the only thing providing him warm light as his nimble, quick fingers quickly clean his gun. He sits with his leg crossed over on his other knee, his eyes flitting between you and the silver piece in his hands. You’ve been pacing around the room, gesticulating and voicing your dismay to the plan he had just told you. About five minutes ago. 

Vash finally swipes his gun clean with a piece of cloth, popping the barrel out to load his gun with bullets he may or may not even use in the first place. You stop your verbal train of thought, tapping your foot until he looks back up at you. “May I say something?” he inquiries gently. You huff, tilting your head, waiting for whatever response that you will undoubtedly disagree with. 

“I will be in and out before you can even say my full name.” That forces a laugh out of you. Valentinez Alkalinella Xifax Sicidabohertz Gombigobilla Blue Stradivari Talentrent Pierre Andri Charton-Haymoss Ivanovici Baldeus George Doitzel Kaiser III. Say that five times.

“Ok, I see that you have made your decision, but because that decision is incredibly dumb, I am choosing to ignore it.” you cross your arms, turning your nose up at him and hoping that will change his mind. Not a chance, of course. Vash will always place your safety above his own. 

He slowly approaches you, uncrossing your arms and holding your hands in each of his own, warm and cold to the touch. “I promise you I will be back in time to share those donuts with you in the morning. I’ll even bring the paper so we can read those silly comics you like.” Your heart warms. He really remembers all the little details about you. “I will be safe, just for you.” 

You bite the inside of your cheek to protest the oncoming smile. “Fine. You better keep this promise Vash the Stampede. Pinky promise me?” Your smile slips through at his teasing groan. 

His pinky intertwines with yours. “I promise. But you know I hate when you call me by my full name!” 

—

You sit cross-legged on the dusty bed, worrying your lip between your teeth. It’s bloody at this point. The clock in the corner of the room reads close to 1am. He’s been gone for four hours. Too long in your book. 

You begin to feel the anxiety eat away at your nerves, fraying the ends. Throwing yourself back on the bed, you growl into your hands. You need a distraction. A sudden thought strikes you. A rather…unpure one. 

It’s been a while since the last time you were able to touch yourself. Traveling with Vash, the man who has your heart constantly in his hands, although oblivious to that fact, prevents you from relieving any sexual tension you feel. Especially when everything he does gets you hot beneath the collar. His figure not quite so hidden beneath his coat, his thighs that jut out when you two are running from imminent danger, the natural smell of him when you two cozy up on cold desert nights, the quickness in how he handled his gun earlier…

With enough fantasies now running through your mind, you shuck off the clothes that are now beginning to warm you up too quickly, sneaking a hand downward. You imagine how those gloved hands would touch you, guide you, slowing you down when you would hasten your movements as you near your climax, Vash’s face near your ear whispering sweet nothings. You begin to move your hand, rubbing yourself slowly, wanting to enjoy your alone time.

That’s right angel, just like that. Always so perfect for me. You keen as your imagination takes the fantasy in full swing now. As your fingers increase the pressure right up against your most sensitive spots, you swear the warmth of your hand turns into a metallic cold, your slick making the glide much easier as your pace picks up. You remember it is late, and that the other patrons in the hotel must be fast asleep. Searching for something to bite into to muffle your noises, you spot the pen Vash lent you. You clamp your teeth around the metal shaft, your fingers picking their pace back up as you have a fleeting thought that the pen trapped between your lips is instead one of Vash’s prosthetic fingers, prodding your mouth open so he can hear you.

—

The hallways are shrouded in darkness, two guards standing off to the side of a solo door down at the hall. Vash peers from around the corner, mapping his route. He feels bad for leaving you alone for so long on such a beautiful night. The outlaw he thwarted earlier in the week had more help than he imagined. Plus a network of tunnels connected to his hideout. 

He takes a silent, deep inhale, steel-toed boot shifting slightly, ready to round the corner until a breathy sound makes its way into his ear. 

“Vash-!” he stills, not quite believing what he’s hearing. No one else is behind him. He made sure to knock them out until morning. No, this voice was familiar. One he held close to his heart, away from the world, if only slightly muffled. Panting moans filter into his ear, interrupted by whimpers. His blood roars in his ears. Are you hurt? Did someone close to the outlaw find you?

“Yes, please right there my angel~”

All his worries are extinguished once he hears the nickname you give him. His blood now rushes down south, wetness pooling in his boxers. He fidgets, peaking back around the corner to ensure the guards weren’t alerted to the predicament he was now in. He really couldn’t go on like this, not when he’s finally hearing how you sound when you’re in the throes of pleasure. 

He spots a doorway behind him with no light coming through the bottom. He steps up to the wood, ear to the door to ensure no one is truly inside, anxious to step inside to pleasure himself along with you as your moans begin to hitch. He slips in, back to the door now, lock in place as his hand twitches at his belt. He should be a gentleman, take off his earring, and respect your privacy. He feels dirty, perverted. You two are just friends. He has told this lie to himself several times a day, not believing someone as smart and loving as you to fall in love with the catastrophe that is his entire being. As if hearing his inner monologue from miles away, your praises spew into his ear.

“Oh, Vash, you’re too good for me. So handsome, so pretty, all for me-”

He teeths off his right glove, shooting his warm hand into his pants. God, he hopes you can forgive him once he has to confess this moment to you, but he cannot deny himself any longer. Not when you’re talking to him as if he’s there with you, delivering you the pleasure you deserve for being so good for him. He bites his lip to stifle his withering whimpers.

“Hah- god keep going I’m almost there please please please,” you hiccup. Have you had these fantasies running through your mind when you two cuddle in the cold nights? During your long walks under the scorching desert suns? He didn’t take you to have such a filthy mind, especially one that constantly had him as a recurring actor in your fantasies. He grips himself harder at the thought, teeth digging harshly into his bottom lip.

Your hitched whimpers turn suddenly into sharper cries, then a satisfied moan of his name. That sound is the death of him. He turns sharply to bite at his coat collar, hoping it can quiet him as his release hits him, cum shooting inside his boxers, a sticky mess he now has to deal with for the rest of his mission. His eyes open up, hazy and glossed over as he slides down the door, catching his breath.

You had calmed your breathing and thundering heart rate just a few moments prior, now frozen in your place on the bed. Did you hear…whimpering…coming from the pen in your mouth? You spit the writing tool out of your mouth, now wet with your saliva. You recall the conversation you had with Vash earlier that day.

“Have you always had one pen on you? Why does this one look so elegant too? It’s the nicest pen I’ve ever seen.” He hums, chuckling as your fingers smooth over the metal, wishing you could touch his arm like that- he’s getting sidetracked.

“Lost tech, actually. Wanna see a neat trick? Press the button on the side.” Once you press your finger against the button, he greets you from across the room, only for the pen in your hand to echo him. “My earring is connected to it. For easy communication when we aren’t near each other. Consider it a gift!”

Your hand flies to your mouth. So he definitely just heard everything. You shut your eyes in embarrassment, but the pleasure that now simmers in your veins begs for you to take action–to say to hell with it. If he seemingly rubbed one out to you pleasuring yourself, he has to like you in some way. You take a deep inhale, pressing the button again. 

“You done there? You better hurry on back. I’m sure you could tell how…desperate I am to have you back now.” A loud yelp rings back, distant shouting ensuing right after.

“Um- I. Well got to go! See you soon!” comes Vash’s rushed reply before shots ring out.

You smirk to yourself. What a conversation this will be when he’s back. 

A/N: >:) :D >:) me when i get silly in the middle of smut. spot the lil marvel reference? anyway that hoop earring is *versatile* it will now be used for several things in future missions. thanks for reading!

masterlist

divider

[moonlight-presence]

Last Effort

Category: M/M

Fandom: Good Omens (tv show)

Relationships: Crowley X Aziraphale

Words: 2 385

Summary: What if Crowley had not left after kissing Aziraphale? What if he had tried one last thing to convince him to change his mind? Can one thing that is damned from the start, come together in the end? Well...Read more to find out.

OR

I wrote this to deal with the s2 finale and I ended up making myself cry harder... so yeah.

MATURE CONTENT 18 +

Crowley looked at Aziraphale, his face torn between anguish and despair, a mixture of expressions Crowley had hoped he would never see on his face.

"I need you!", he yelled, his voice breaking, coming stuck in his throat as it struggled to get out, "I don´t think you understand what I am offering you..."

Crowley remained with his eyes locked outside, his heart beating faster than it had ever beaten in his very long life. Not when he had fought angels, not when he had challenged Heaven, not even when he had thought Aziraphale was in danger...But it was like a thunderstorm now, bursting inside of his ribcage.

"I understand...", he said calmly, his eyes meeting his traitor, "And I understand it a lot better than you do..."

"Well...Then there´s nothing more to say." Words of betrayal, spoken by someone Crowley had never imagined they would have been.

The demon felt his heart shattering, his last bit of hope slowly fading away as he looked at Aziraphale´s determined face.

"Listen. Can you hear that?", he asked with a finger pointed up.

"I don´t hear anything!"

You stupid idiot...You fool. "That´s the point. No nightingales.."

Aziraphale´s effort to remain unfazed shattered as a wave of sorrow washed through him. He locked his eyes with his friend- his partner, his lover, his everything- and sent him a glare that seemed to translate to "How dare you.." Crowley remained firm.

"You idiot, we could have been...Us.", Crowley´s voice nearly broke down as he forced those words out of his mouth.

He knew he had lost but he had to try this at least once. Crowley would not leave Aziraphale without at least doing this just one time. Yes, he was going to lose but he wasn´t going to let that stubborn, arrogant, beautiful, stupid, fool of an angel off the hook that easily.

Aziraphale turned his face away from him and, in an act of pure despair, Crowley moved towards him and grabbed him by his jacket, their lips crashing together.

Crowley heard Aziraphale gasp against his mouth but continued pressing their lips together. He would not leave without showing him how much he cared for him, how much he mattered to him. The kiss was not filthy, or deviously unpure as one might think a demon would kiss, but it was rather pure... Kind and passionate and so very shaky.

Crowley felt Aziraphale´s hand against his back, his fingers not knowing what to do as they shook against his jacket. He could sense the angel trembling against him, trying to gain the courage to fight him back but failing miserably. Crowley knew that he wanted this... He could sense the passion between them, the longing that was brooding during the millennia they had known each other for.

Crowley broke the kiss first, surprisingly, and Aziraphale let out a shaky breath, his face furrowed in a mixture of emotions the demon could not figure out. He looked at him with tears behind his black glasses, his lips still tingling with Aziraphale´s warmth.

The angel took a step back, his mouth trying to find words as shaky breaths escaped his lips. He looked like somebody who was not expecting a poisonous snake to bite him, to stick its fangs upon his flesh, to intoxicate his system and weaken his body.

"I...I forgive you."

You stupid fucking idiot.

Crowley took off his glasses, throwing them to the ground, and stepped forward. He should be leaving, he should be gone by now but that stupid heart of his, too soft because of Aziraphale, told him to remain there.

"I don´t want your bloody forgiveness, angel, I want you. I want you and me, together.", he said, black tears flowing from his bright yellow eyes.

"I-I... I can´t. We...Can´t. Crowley, please.", Aziraphale said with a strained voice, his own beautiful eyes filling with tears. Crowley grabbed his jaw and placed a kiss on his lips again, and again, and again, and again.

He tasted Aziraphale´s golden tears in his mouth as their lips moved together. He felt the angel´s shaking body press against him, so weak and fragile. Fuck, he was going to fight for all eternity before letting that stupid idiot do something he would regret.

Crowley grabbed AZiraphale´s jacket and began sliding it down but the angel placed his hands on top of his. "Crowley... Please. I-I...You have to leave."

"Do you want me to leave?", he asked in a whisper, their foreheads pressed together.

"Y-Yes."

"Swear it. Bloody swear it and I will walk away and leave you alone for the rest of eternity."

Aziraphale´s eyes released a flood of tears as his lips trembled with the ultimatum Crowley had just given him. He placed his hands on Crowley´s chest and slightly hit the area, not hard enough to hurt but strong enough to make the demon realize the pain of his words.

"You bastard.", the angel cursed, much to Crowley´s surprise.

Aziraphale grabbed Crowley and brought their lips together once more, his hands grabbing the demon by his shoulders and pulling him close. Crowley smiled between kisses and took off Aziraphale´s jacket quickly, his fingers already working on the buttons of his vest.

They began undressing each other quickly, the bookshop soon filling up with books on the ground as they bumped against shelves, tables, pillars... They did not say one word to each other as Crowley grabbed Aziraphale by the thighs and put him on top of the nearest table.

The angel watched as Crowley took off the last piece of clothing from his torso and threw it back, his eyes red with tears and sorrow. He kicked his shoes from his feet, forgetting about the pain in his chest and the little voice inside of his head that told him to stop that immediately.

Crowley, on the other hand, was busy shutting the blinds and ripping Aziraphale´s blouse from his chest, his fingers working on the belt of the angel´s pants with an incomparable hunger. He did not know what would happen after they had had each other but he did not want to find out, so...As fool does when he´s in love, he looked at his everything and admired him.

"You are beautiful.", Crowley said as his fingers unbuttoned Aziraphale´s pants and slid them down his legs.

"Oh...Well, thank you.", Aziraphale said with a smile that soon turned sour from the thoughts inside of his head. He watched as Crowley removed his pants and then grabbed his wrists, "You are also beautiful."

"Oh...I have been told before, yes...", he replied in an attempt at a joke. Aziraphale rolled his eyes playfully and gave him a warm smile.

"Thank you, angel.", Crowley said with a serious tone of voice this time. He got down on his knees and spread Aziraphale´s legs, his lips already brushing on his skin.

"C-Crowley...", he said with a whimper as Crowley began kissing his inner thighs slowly.

"Sssshhhh, no more of that, okay? It´s just us, now. It´s just you and me, angel.", he whispered as he softly palmed Aziraphale´s cock through his boxers.

The angel let out a shaky moan and bit his lip, his fingers grabbing the desk with immense strength as he tried to remain composed. Crowley took that as a challenge and licked the slit of his hardening cock suddenly, making Aziraphale gasp.

"Oh...Oh...", the angel whispered with eyes half shut, his hands now on Crowley´s bright red hair.

The demon wickedly smiled and grabbed the boxers, pulling them down softly and freeing Aziraphale´s penis. The angel blushed at the sight of Crowley looking at his erection, but said nothing as the demon grabbed his shaft and slowly began pumping it.

"You have no idea for how long I have wanted to do this, Aziraphale.", he whispered as Aziraphale threw his head back and moaned a bit louder.

Crowley brought his mouth to his shaft and parted his lips, wrapping them around the angel´s cock and swallowing him down. Aziraphale gasped and bit his lip, nearly drawing blood as immense pleasure washed through him.

Crowley moved up and down fast, his tongue swirling on the shaft and his hands massaging Aziraphale´s thighs in a shooting way. It had been ages since he had last had sex and well...Sex with demons is just kind of nasty so Crowley would not very much like to repeat that experience. But this...Fuck, this was beyond Crowley´s dreams.

"Oh...I feel so good. It feels so good...So this is what...Ah...Sex feels like.", Aziraphale tried to say between breaths, "No wonder humans like it so, argh, much. Oh, Crowley...Yes."

Crowley could feel that Aziraphale was getting close so he removed his mouth, earning a whimper from his lover, "I know, I know, angel... I am going to make you feel even better now, okay?"

He got up and kissed him again, their tongues dancing with each other. "Turn around and put your belly on the table, beautiful." Aziraphale blushed a bit but nodded, his body covered in sweat and a few tears that had dropped from his face, earlier.

As he moved, Crowley removed his belt from his pants and pulled his pants and boxers down, freeing his aching erection from his confinements at last.

"This might feel a bit weird at first but it´s going to feel just marvelous in a few seconds, okay?", Crowley said as he put his fingers on his mouth and coated them in saliva.

"Okay...Can I look at you?", Aziraphale asked with his eyes locked on the table. Crowley´s heart ached and he nodded, black tears dripping from his eyes again.

"Y-yes...Of course you can, you idiot.", he smiled as Aziraphale looked over his shoulder and met his eyes. He was crying too.

Crowley pressed his fingers on Aziraphale´s entrance and slowly pushed one in. The angel hissed a bit in discomfort but Crowley kissed his back, shooting him away.

"It´s okay...It´s okay...I am here. You are safe with me.", he whispered against the sweaty skin.

Crowley began moving his finger inside and then Aziraphale gasped as he hit his prostate. The demon smiled and hit it again and again until Aziraphale was nothing more than a chain of moans and whimpers.

He added another finger, slowly at first, and then another until Aziraphale grabbed the edge of the table and pre-cum dripped from his cock to the floor below.

"P-Please...I need you. I need you."

Again with the words...Oh, those wretched words.

"You have me.", Crowley whispered, taking off his fingers and pumping his cock with saliva from his mouth.

He lined himself with Aziraphale´s entrance and then slowly pushed inside. The angel gasped in a bit of pain and Crowley stopped, letting him adjust.

They proceeded with that- Aziraphale adjusting to the size of Crowley and the demon fighting his urges not to fuck him senseless. In the end, Crowley´s cock was fully inside Aziraphale´s burning and tight walls.

"C-Can I move? Fuck...", Crowley asked with urgency as his forehead dropped on top of Aziraphale´s shoulders.

"Y-Yes.", the angel said with a nod.

Crowley sighed in relief and began fucking him, slowly at first and then a bit rougher. Aziraphale could do nothing more but whimper below him, his mouth parted in pleasure and his eyes shut.

"You feel so good. So good for me, angel."

"A-argh... I...Oh, I love you." Crowley stilled his hips suddenly.

"You...Aziraphale, look at me.", he begged and the angel refused, his eyes locked shut, "Please, fucking look at me!"

He trembled with the louder tone of voice and finally opened his eyes, meeting Crowley´s.

"Say it again.", he begged, moving his hips again, his hands on Aziraphale´s hips.

"I...Crowley...", he shuddered as pleasure began pulsing through his body again.

"Please. Please.", he begged over and over again with each thrust.

"I love you! Oh, I fucking love you!", the second time Aziraphale cursed that day. What a fucking day...

"I love you too. I love you so much.", Crowley confessed, grabbing Aziraphale´s cock and pumping it fast.

"Oh...OH! Crowley, I think I am going to-"

"It´s alright. Just let it happen. I have you.", Crowley moaned in Aziraphale´s ear, breathing against his eardrum.

Aziraphale tightened around Crowley´s cock as he orgasmed and that was the last of the demon´s control. He halted his hips as his own orgasm burst through him, his whole body trembling in waves as he spilled inside the angel.

They remained there, inside of each other, for a few seconds before Crowley kissed Aziraphale´s back and removed himself. The next few minutes consisted of them getting cleaned and dressed, both not saying a word or looking at each other.

In the end, after they had taken each other, after they had both confessed their feelings, Crowley reached for Aziraphale, and the angel moved away.

Oh... So it is going to be like this.

"Aziraphale-"

"Leave, Crowley...We are not meant for each other, we can´t keep doing this forever. We...For the love of God, Crowley, nothing lasts forever.", Aziraphale spat out with his eyes fixed on the floor.

Crowley´s last piece of hope vanished and he accepted the harsh truth. He accepted his fate.

He did not say one more word as he turned around and left the bookshop, his glasses hiding the tears in his eyes.

As Crowley walked towards his car, he reminisced on the day he and Aziraphale both watched "Romeo and Juliet" being performed for the first time... He remembered how they had talked about the play and congratulated Shakespeare on it, praising him for the tragic love story. On that day he had wondered how humans could write such things, such tales of heartbreak and anguish over this so-called "love"...Now he understood.

Now he knew what it was like.

[kaaaaaaarf]

Always an Angel, Never a God (the playlist)

I made a playlist for the fic Always an Angel, Never a God by @butcherbacterium. B is my number one cheerleader/enabler and I am so, so lucky that she is my friend! Always An Angel is such an iconic and beautiful fic, and I wanted to pay it tribute in the only way I know how — through music. This one's for you, B. ❤️

1. Family Tree // Ethel Cain (Sirius) These crosses all over my body Remind me of who I used to be Give myself up to him in offering Let him make a woman out of me ... So take me down to the river and bathe me clean Put me on the back of your white horse to ride All the way to the chapel, let you wash all over me

2. Faster, Faster // Bree Sharp (Sirius) The dusty road that's ahead will Be my board and my bed till What I am looking for is found … And yesterday is right behind me like a loaded gun So I'm racing toward the horizon ... I met a sucker on Sunday I took his wallet on Monday Then I was out on the road again

3. Acts 9:3 // Sluice (Sirius) Yeah I'm walking towards Damascus My body’s weary and my heart is too Ive had no revelations in the wilderness ... Jesus finally came to me at a crossing ... He smiled, gun on his hip Offered me an oxycodone and he split

4. Abbey // Mitski (Remus) I am hungry I have been hungry I was born hungry What do I need? I am something I have been something I was born something What could I be? There is a light that I can see But only, it seems, when there's darkness in me There is a dream that I sometimes see That only appears in the dark of sleep I am waiting I have been waiting

5. Lone Wolf // Eels (Remus) I am a lone wolf I always was and will be I feel fine, I am resigned to this I am a lone wolf ... It blows my mind That people want to try to get inside my tired head ... I am a lone wolf Nobody needs to get too close to me

6. Drunk Kid Catholic // Bright Eyes (Both) The drunk kids, the catholics They're all about the same They're waiting for something Hoping to be saved ... And every night I think I certainly won't ever sleep sober or alone And then suddenly it occurs to me I've slept alone before you And so I pour myself the stiffest drink my stomach can stand And convince myself to lay back down again

7. I Am the Antichrist to You // Kishi Bashi (Both) Who are you? Who am I to you? I am the antichrist to you Fallen from the sky with grace Into your arms race Lucid lovers me and you A deal of matchless value I was always quick to admit defeat Empty statements of bones and meat And my heart it shook with fear I'm a coward behind a shield and spear

8. Glory // Liz Phair (Both) You are (you are), you are (you are) shining some glory You are (you are), you are (you are) shining some glory On me, on me

9. God In Jeans // Ryan Beatty (Sirius) God is real, he was sleeping in my bed last night We were naked with the radio on Played him favorite song ... I pray to the open sky This is the one I wanted This is everything Give me more, I'll be all your love I believe in heaven above Come and give me life Show me what it's like to fall into your arms

10. Flower // Liz Phair (Both) Every time I see your face I think of things unpure, unchaste I want to fuck you like a dog I'll take you home and make you like it Everything you ever wanted Everything you ever thought of Is everything I'll do to you ... Everything you ever wanted Everything you ever thought of Is everything I'll do to you I'll fuck you till your dick is blue Every time

11. Sacrilege // Yeah Yeah Yeahs (Remus) Fallen for a guy, fell down from the sky Halo round his head Feathers in a bed In our bed, in our bed It's sacrilege, sacrilege, sacrilege, you say ... And I plead and I pray

12. I Wanna Be Yours // Arctic Monkeys (Both) I wanna be your vacuum cleaner Breathing in your dust I wanna be your Ford Cortina I will never rust If you like your coffee hot Let me be your coffee pot You call the shots, babe I just wanna be yours Secrets I have held in my heart Are harder to hide than I thought Maybe I just wanna be yours I wanna be yours

13. Take Me To Church // Hozier (Remus) Every Sunday's getting more bleak A fresh poison each week "We were born sick", you heard them say it My church offers no absolutes She tells me, "Worship in the bedroom" The only Heaven I'll be sent to Is when I'm alone with you I was born sick, but I love it Command me to be well A-, Amen, Amen, Amen Take me to church I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife Offer me that deathless death Good God, let me give you my life Take me to church

14. Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want // Deftones (Remus) Good times for a change See, the luck I've had Can make a good man Turn bad So please, please, please Let me, let me, let me Let me get what I want This time Haven't had a dream in a long time See, the life I've had Can make a good man bad So for once in my life Let me get what I want Lord knows, it would be the first time

15. Good Days // Sza (Sirius) Tell me I'm not my fears, my limitations I disappear, if you let me Feeling like (on your own) Feeling like Jericho Feeling like Job when he lost his shit Gotta hold my own, my cross to bear alone, I Ooh, paid a deal, way to kill the mood Know you like that shit, yeah, groovy baby, baby Heavy on my empty mind shit I gotta keep from losin' the rest of me (losin' the rest of me) Still worry that I wasted the best of me on you, babe You don't care

16. Prayer // Leith Ross (Remus) Last night, I wrote a prayer To the water in my head Read the book my mother read See, I don't believe in God At least not one that's not as human as me and anyone that ever was ... See, I have to believe there's some kind of deity In broken bones and skin that bleeds I can't count upon heaven or hell or law When I'm scared and lonely Amen, amen, amen, amen

17. Real Pain // Indigo De Souza (Remus) When pain is real, you cannot run You can cover, but come undone And love might go, but is not gone I still know you, I still know you ... I wanna kick, wanna scream, I wanna know it's not my fault I wanna know it's not my fault, I didn't mean it

18. Checkout Blues // Eels (Remus) I've got something Maybe I should tell you I may check out At any given time Things won't get better Until they get much worse Is the curse stronger than me Or am I stronger than the curse Everyone is scared of me And I'm scared of me too Never know just what I'm gonna do

19. Way down We Go // KALEO (Both) Oh, Father tell me, do we get what we deserve? Whoa, we get what we deserve And way down we go Way down we go Say way down we go Way down we go

20. God's Silence // Eels (Sirius) (Instrumental)

21. Fallen // Bree Sharp (Sirius) Little girl, little girl questioning me She says, "Why doesn't everyone have what they need? Where are the angels, angels, angels? Where are the angels, angels, angels?" I cannot tell you my little darling All my faith has fallen, fallen, fallen

22. Sleep Talking // Indigo De Souza (Sirius) Nothing left but a feeling in there somewhere Nothing left but a feeling in my toes When I get home, I'm gonna love you so well Please get me out, out of the depths of hell When I get home, I'm gonna sell you my soul When I get home, when I get home, when I get home I'll break your bones with all the love I carry

23. Jesus Christ // Brand New (Remus) Jesus Christ, that's a pretty face The kind you'd find on someone that could save If they don't put me away Well, it'll be a miracle Do you believe you're missing out? That everything good is happening somewhere else But with nobody in your bed The night's hard to get through And I will die all alone And when I arrive I won't know anyone Jesus Christ, I'm alone again So what did you do those three days you were dead? 'Cause this problem is gonna last More than the weekend ... Do I divide and fall apart? 'Cause my bright is too slight to hold back all my dark ... I know you're coming in the night like a thief But I've had some time alone to hone my lying technique I know you think that I'm someone you can trust But I'm scared I'll get scared and I swear I'll try to nail you back up (everyone now)

24. Francis Forever // Mitski (Sirius) I don't know what to do without you I don't know where to put my hands I've been trying to lay my head down But I'm writing this at three AM I don't need the world to see That I've been the best I can be, but I don't think I could stand to be Where you don't see me

25. Into My Arms // Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds (Remus) I don't believe in an interventionist God But I know, darling, that you do But if I did I would kneel down and ask Him Not to intervene when it came to you Oh, not to touch a hair on your head Leave you as you are And if He felt He had to direct you Then direct you into my arms

26. Tender // Blur (Both) Tender is the night lying by your side Tender is the touch of someone that you love too much Tender is the day the demons go away Lord, I need to find someone who can heal my mind Come on, come on, come on Get through it Come on, come on, come on Love's the greatest thing

27. Not Strong Enough // Boygenius (Both) Black hole opened in the kitchen Every clock's a different time It would only take the energy to fix it I don't know why I am The way I am Not strong enough to be your man I tried, I can't Stop staring at the ceiling fan and Spinning out about things that haven't happened Breathing in and out ... Always an angel, never a god Always an angel, never a god Always an angel, never a god Always an angel, never a god Always an angel, never a god Always an angel, never a god Always an angel, never a god Always an angel, never a god Always an angel, never a god Always an angel, never a god Always an angel, never a god Always an angel, never a god

[moondustaeil]

vitriolic . qian kun

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ ⋅ vitriolic

⠀  ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀  

⠀ about  

⋅  genre : angst

⋅  characters : yandere!Kun x reader

⋅  word count : 1.5k (drabble)

⋅  warning : yandere au : psychological abuse. read at your own risk

⋅  a/n : if you would like a full yandere!Kun fic or a longer part 2, let me know! 

⠀ ⠀

⠀ summary

⋅  Kun’s smile is like sunshine shining through the curtains after a night where rain poured from the dark sky. Kun’s eyes are like dark skies where rain pours down from after the sun disappears behind the clouds.

“The world doesn’t deserve an angel like you” 

Kun’s compliment made you smile in awe to yourself, still unaware of the reason why he said them to you. Your eyes were on him as he was collecting some of the clothes lying around on the bedroom floor: his white t-shirt stained in uncoordinated dark red polka dots. You opened your mind to thank him for the compliment, but his leader capacities prevented you from speaking “I know you liked them, darling. But they tried to pull you away from me” he said, his tone instantly sounding more bittersweet. Confusion spread in your mind until the red dots on his t-shirt seemed to connect together with the words he said: the blood of your newly made friends was on his shirt.

“Is this a joke?” You asked as you got up from the bed, taking the stained fabric away from his hands and into yours. The wet little patches leaving its evidence on your fingertips. Your question was left unanswered but you felt a pair of eyes drifting from you towards the way your fingertips brushed together to detect the true identity of the wetness on them. “I know it hurts, honey. But I had no other choice. I didn’t want to hurt you, so I had to hurt them instead” he said, taking a step closer to you to embrace you. When he wrapped his arms around you, you didn’t even object. His body against yours with his arms around you, while your shocked form only held onto the piece of truth in your hands. 

His fingertips soothed over your clothed back, in an attempt to make the pain disappear magically without you putting the blame on him. “It’s okay” he whispered in your ear as he leaned a bit closer to you: lips ghosting over your earlobe before trailing down to the side of your neck. The effort of one chaste kiss on the skin of your neck, made the shirt fall on the floor between the two of you: he once again regained control over the strings that kept you as his puppet. “Just hold me for a bit,” he said and took your arms, making them wrap around his body for you to find comfort in the deeds that had been done. 

It was a long-lasting embrace that you held each other in, no more words were shared and no more thoughts of him being a murderer filled your mind. Silently you mouthed the letters that he traced over your back, a little smile appearing on your lips when those three letters together formed his name. “Kun” you repeated softly, your whisper making him let out a small laugh in confirmation. “Was that too cliché?” he asked with a hum as he noticed the smile on your lips. His fingertips drawing a little heart around the name he wrote with the invisible ink on his fingers. You shook your head as a response to his question, the small smile seeming more genuine with each loving trigger he added. “Good, I love seeing your smile” he said, his lips pressing a couple of delicate kisses upwards to your lips to convince you about his innocence if that hadn’t happened already. 

“You should get dressed,” Kun said as his hands no longer seemed delicate with the touches, both of his hands moving down towards your lower back, only to end up resting on your ass seconds later. When you didn’t pull away from his embrace to change out of his shirt, a low hum left his lips. “I mean, you look cute in my shirt. And hot without clothes, but still” he said as his teeth tugged onto his lower lip when a couple of unpure thoughts came into his mind. You nodded your head slowly, finally removing yourself from the arms that you were held in. “I’ll get dressed and come downstairs” you said as you went to the chair where your clothes rested on, your eyes not seeing how he picked up the blood-stained shirt with a smirk on his lips before heading downstairs.

While you got dressed upstairs, Kun prepared breakfast for you, a little something he did whenever you seemed to need it. Or rather than that, it was something he did the morning after his true antics came to light. Today’s breakfast was made from a simple recipe, accompanied by your favorite morning beverage. The sweet sugar you would add to the drink was replaced by a few droplets of Haldol to drowse you through the day. As soon as you walked in the kitchen, the scent of freshly made breakfast filled your nostrils. “Morning” you said for the first time as you hadn’t said it earlier when he told you about your friends, a story that you somehow had forgotten about. His body turned towards you, revealing the baby blue apron with a cat face on it, maybe a little cuteness would make your mood completely turn to the way he wanted it to be. “Good morning, little cutie,” he said cheerfully, pulling you in for a kiss on the lips as soon as you were close enough. The kiss was gentle and sweet, though it ended after a couple of seconds “let’s eat, I made breakfast for us” Kun whispered against your lips before he pulled away and led you over to your seat.

Kun moved to his own seat after he pushed your chair closer to the table, smiling at you from where he was sitting. On his plate the same food as on yours, the difference rested in your cups, and soon in your mind. He started to eat slowly, listening to the silence that filled the place while he watched you. You brought the cup to your lips and took a small sip before withdrawing “I was thinking, maybe today I could go outside” you said, unknown to your own feelings of having to ask or suggest before being allowed to go. You could see the hesitation in Kun’s eyes, his lower lip getting wet as he ran his tongue over it. “Do you really want to get away from me?” he asked you, his fingertips starting to fumble with the fork that he was holding. His feelings genuinely hurt from hearing how you wanted to leave the house and get away from him today, though at the same time he knew if he acted hurt then he’d get your love. “I thought you dedicated yourself to me” he said when he noticed you didn’t give a reaction to his previous question. He slowly raised his head, making it seem like a sad scene when he looked at you. 

“I did, I’m yours but I just wanted to see my friends, and maybe family” you said soft, quietening down near the end of your words because you remembered how he reacted last time you tried to say that. “You’re so ungrateful, I protect you, tell you what’s best for you and yet you don’t listen. y/n always does whatever y/n wants, never listening to one word I say!” he snapped at you, his hand slamming against the table to intimidate you. And by the way your eyes widened, he knew he was doing a good job. “I do listen. I always listen to you, Kun” you said soft, getting up from your spot to go towards him. You placed your hand on his bare arm to try and calm him down before it became worse. “Tell me how much you love me” Kun said as his muscles calmed down more at your touch, facing his lap with a sad look displayed on his face. “I love you so much Kun, you mean the world to me” you whispered soft, your fingers making its way to his jaw to make him look at you again. 

His eyes burned onto you even if you were the one who had caused him to be like that. Each time he glared, it was as if the blame was shoved over to your side, and you took each bit of the blame without thinking twice. “Please Kun, don’t be angry. I love you so much, and I will stay with you today” you said, your whisper even quieter than a minute ago. Even though you were soaked with blame, a fresh wave of guilt washed over you when you saw your boyfriend like that. “Please” you begged once more, sitting on your knees next to where your boyfriend was sitting on the chair.

Kun’s eyes followed your movement, seeing how he dominated over you when you were sat on your knees. The tears in his eyes held back before they could fall onto his warm cheeks. “Let’s learn from our mistakes” he said as he took you by the arm, using only the slightest bit of strength to pull you up on your legs again. Your guilt-filled eyes found his, the portrayed sadness in them making you determined not to hurt him like that ever again. “I will stay with you” you promised to him, feeling how his hand was slowly sliding down your arm to hold your hand instead. The sadness in his eyes disappeared from your vision when you saw a small smile appear on his lips again. 

“I love you, my beautiful angel”

[icarus-imagines]

FallenAngel!Tokiya Ichinose X Male!Hunter!Reader

Word Count: 3,300

Category: Uta No Prince-Sama

~Come With Me~

-“The world of demons, Fallen Angels, is very real - a fact we need to know. We have to face up to this terrible reality so that we do not fall unsuspectingly into their hands and come under their tyranny.”-

A near depressing mixture of inferiority and insecurity latches itself onto your being as he stared down at you. His entire body was enraptured to the brim with immense power and overflowing dominance that made your own, much more vulnerable body, involuntarily shiver. Whether it was from the unexpected thrill of the first meeting with this being or the dark fear, you didn't quite know.

Standing with a background that consisted of the grand churches ridiculously tall windows made him look otherworldly. Windows of which were previously stained, hard work of the builders of long ago. Meticulous detail was brought forth in the stained window that depicted an angel praying.

The angel's face was gorgeous, the exact image one would imagine such a pure being to have. Hair of golden tresses, garments of creamy texture, and huge wings of blinding white. Their golden halo emitted golden rays to drown all over their body.

What made this all so surreal, all so dreamlike, was the sunset. It's sunny rays shot and pierced through the glass, bathing everything the full spectrum of colors allowed to be seen by the naked eye. Pouring through it made the one before you create himself an imaginary halo conjured of rainbows. Like a waterfall, the light fell through his shiny midnight dark blue hair, past his strongly evocative neck, and finally upon his clean-cut raven stained tux.

Looking at him so openly in such an intense way felicitated an odd and very unfamiliar feeling in your body. In the back of your mind, you felt a slight tug to your consciousness and you know you were becoming week. Just this one single look at him was making you pure jelly upon the floor. You could feel the heat rising to the top of your skin, highly likely from the new-formed embarrassment of the whole situation.

Your determined and guarded orbs fixated themselves on his broad shoulders for a second, finding them to be perplexed at what looked like fur on the collar of the black suit. A fleeting thought entered your mind that it might be the real fur of a wild animal originating from some exotic country. You didn't know whether to think of it as him being dashing or cruel for wearing such a garment.

With a pristine tie the color of fresh violet flowers in the summer, you would have called the male a gentleman, but you knew better than to do such a thing. This man was no human or man that deserved such fleeting compliments. Along with the fact you had never encountered such a ridiculously foul beast. He was a monster, yes a monster, that plagued the land of the beautiful Earth. One who tainted its glorious riches and purity with his very presence.

He is a demon.

A foul beast.

A monster of unpure origin that needed to be exterminated at all costs.

His perfectly shaped eyebrow arched up in an obvious spike of interest at your relentless, open stare. Seductive lips turning quickly into a devilishly evil smirk, he let himself be the first to speak.

"Finally, one of you has come to visit me," he drawled, mouth forming every word with perfect diction. But his next sentence made a chill run down your spine: "I've been waiting."

Your reply was given with much more venom than his own, "Enough of your petty words, you know why I have come." You keep your words short and curt, wanting this encounter to be over with. He was your first mission and you just wanted quick success and nothing else

The laugh that bellowed out of his mouth made you take a stuttering step back, but you stayed firm on the velvet carpets of the church. Hand reaching out to grasp the first pew near you, you tightened your hand on the smooth wood. He seemed to be mocking you, laughing at your obvious display of defiance and naive nature. For some reason, embarrassment was, yet again, blooming in your chest at his carefree laughter of the situation.

Unblemished skin crinkling at the outer edges of his eyes, you instantly could tell he was enjoying himself. He was outwardly reveling in your words like you were a child trying to be a rebel for the first time towards their strict parent.

They were the opposite of the angel behind him. He was beautiful, yes. A wonderful spectacle to behold, but none the less, he was evil.

His display of bubbly laughter made your hands, once slack at your sides, clench into balled fists. You could vaguely feel crescent shapes from your fingernails digging into your skin, but you were more concerned with the blatant anger beginning to brew under the service of your facade.

"W-why are you laughing!?" You yell through gritting teeth, whilst you curse internally at stuttering.

His laughter dies down a bit, but when speaking to you it comes in short bursts still. "I was waiting for someone more...how do I explain it? Different? Yes, simply different. You're not at all what I had imagined would come to slay me," he explains.

His right hands turn up to grab onto his chin in a sign of thought, his left coming to rest under the right's elbow. In this change of pose, you had to rip your eyes away from his hand that had grabbed your attention. It had made you look once again to his visage, that of which had the forbidden thrall like that of an incubus. Was it possible he was that type of creature?

"Just because I'm younger than my predecessors means nothing," You say with courage and pride for those that had trained you in their sacred ways. "I can kill you all the same."

"Oh no," he breathed out. "Do not think I was underestimating you. If you are truly one of their successors you must be more than powerful enough to take, someone like me, on. Though...," he drawled, "you still are different. You didn't attack me the first time you sensed me. Why is that?"

Embarrassment crawled it's way back to you at his question, realizing that is exactly what you had done. It would have been the sensible thing to do to attack and ask questions later. But you didn't. Why was that?

"I mistook you for an angel," you admitted shamefully, hands releasing their tension to dangle aimlessly once again. You could feel the dagger on your belt, the one that you would use to stab him through the heart, but thought against using it for the moment.

He was talking to you. A demon was talking to you. You had learned they were savage creatures with no intellect whatsoever other than to eat and kill. But this one before you. He was the exact opposite of what you had initially thought you would meet.

A man of this poise could not be a demon. How could he be? Dressed so immaculately, speech articulate gestures precise and delicate in their destination. Everything that had been engraved into your brain from before you could even walk was quickly flying straight out the window.

Something felt wrong.

But you could not pinpoint exactly why.

A chuckle came from within his throat again and the embarrassment came back in full force. Taking your hand away from the pew you held you instead clapped your hands together in a gesture full of nervousness. The situation was quickly diminishing from spiky hostility to something akin that of lives trying to come to terms with each other.

His chuckle subsided a bit as he started to speak. That sharpened nail against his lips when he spoke was not making the embarrassment you felt any better though.

"An angel? I must take that as a compliment for no one has called me such an angelic being in quite some time," he said softly. His gaze lowered a bit and staring at those dull grey eyes if his, you almost thought you caught a glimpse of regret. Or was it sadness?  Whatever it was made him look older. Ancient and weary of living so long.

"I guess not, you are a demon after all," you said. For some reason, the atmosphere was calming. It felt oddly nice. The hostility that had once reeked in the air was gone. Maybe it was because you were the one that had brought it in?

Just then he looked up and you froze seeing his expression. Eyebrows furrowed together and jaw set tight, you felt the once calming atmosphere momentarily spike with negative emotion. His dull eyes sparked sharply with something you couldn't identify and this scared you.

"A demon?" he asked, voice edging on something dangerous. "Is that what they told you I was? A pathetic demon?"

"A-are you not a demon?" you asked quickly, trying to defend yourself and your actions. Even so, you felt a stab in your gut. If he was telling the truth it would mean those above you had lied to you. "They told me you were. I do not question their orders."

It was more like you can't question their orders.

"Me? One of those disgusting things? Far from it," he scoffed. You could feel the offense he took to the assumption personally, this you could tell.

"What are you then?"

At this question he let his arms fall to his sides. It was not that that had you frightened but the fact he was coming forward. Walking towards you. If you had been a sane person would have run out of there, but sadly you were not. You stayed and let him come to you.

Once he was within feet from you did you finally realize you had held your breath involuntarily. Quietly letting the shaky breath out you peered up at him, now did you only notice once again, that he was much taller than you.

You it was too late before you registered that the room had dimmed. But it was not because the sun has set, but it was because something was blocking the rays to enter any further. It was when your  (E/c) eyes trailed upwards did you see the reason as to why.

Wings.

They were pitch black and it's size made you quiver. If the angel's wings on the stained window were huge then these in comparison were gigantic. They were spread wide and from your view, they looked godly. The orange, red, and yellow palette colors of the sunset slithered their way through the ends of the feathers and shined in slits upon you.

"But...," you tried to wrack your mind for reasoning away from confusion, "you told me you were not an angel, yet..."

"Fallen," he punctuated firmly. "I am a fallen angel."

"Fallen," you murmured, letting yourself think of this new information. Wishing to rid your mind of the embarrassment clinging to your skin at the closeness, you relied on your naive nature to save you by asking a question. "Why did you fall? Or how, if you prefer."

He chuckled at your innocent question but allowed to indulge himself in it. Nobody had ever asked him why he had done it. It felt new and nice for someone to lend their ear and attention to him.

"I wasn't always like this, personality wise. I had another name too, Hayato," he started.

His eyes were a bit far away even though he was looking directly at you and this pushed you to ask him about who he was before. "Hayato," you said, catching the way his eyes lost their glossy shade and looked at you fully. It was almost as if he was staring into you. "What were you, or rather he, like?"

"I hate to admit it, but quite eccentric. Like a pop idol in a sense in the way he would talk, the way he would act," he confessed and you thought you saw a small blush. "It irks me to think about it really."

"Then why the sudden change?"

"I evolved, in a sense. I learned that what I was taught was not what was true. The world was not a place of just beautiful and wonderful blessings. The world can also be cold. Callous and downright self-destructive," he told you, eyes darkening just a bit. "I rebelled and like a switch, in my brain, something clicked. I was never the same. I had changed and this is who I have become. I like this part of me, much better."

You nodded, spirit-lifting a bit at seeing a smirk ride onto his lips. His cocky nature was relaxing and left you at ease.

"We may be alike then...," you sighed out, voice cracking a bit. "Coming here I have come to the realization that I have been lied to. They used my trust for them against me. They betrayed my blind faith in them and have become my own demise."

The man once called Hayato looked down at you and you see a flash of an epiphany.

"They sent you here to be killed by me," He says simply and you nod.

"I cannot go back, but I have nowhere to go..."

He glances to the side for just a second before offering a hand towards you. You stare at in pure confusion before raising your gaze to his face. Those dark murky eyes stare into your soul and you have to plant roots from your feet to dig into the velvet red carpet below you both to stay steady.

He notices your confusion easily and vocalizes his reason.

"Come with me."

"Come with you?" you ask. "Where?"

"Any place you see fit. Any place away from those who wish to hunt you down. You don't want to actually stay and wait for them to find you, do you?" he chuckles.

You sigh, a smile adorning your face as your place your (S/c) hand into his own pale on. "No, that would be stupid of me."

"Excellent choice," he rejoices, the slightly sharper than normal teeth in his mouth looking less threatening when he smiles. "Now where do you wish to go?"

It all seems to be going too fast and you feel as if you are in a surreal dream as of current. But even so, you embrace it and obediently follow his lead.

"(C/n)?" you ask a bit unsure. You had always wanted to go to that country, and you felt your predecessors would never search there.

The smile he offers you with that shining glint in his eyes makes your heart flutter and palpitate at a faster rate. God, were you falling for him?

"Your wish is my command," he states, squeezing your hand in a reassuring manner. He begins to raise his wings, but you stop him.

"Wait-" you say, taking a step forward. Closer to him, closer to this being you should have never affiliated yourself with. Yet you are. Climbing into the abyss which is sinking deeper and deeper the more you converse with him. "Why are you doing this? I was sent to kill you. I'm still technically just a boy. Yet you are whisking me away with you... Why are you taking this risk?"

His right hand, his free one, comes up to cup the side of your face. It is oh so gentle in its hold and you have to suppress a shiver when you feel those black sharpened claws drive themselves to tangle into your (H/c) locks.

He hums a bit before answering: "I like you."

It is simple and quite vague, but either way, it makes the blood in your veins grow hot. This former angel openly told you that he likes you. If this was a dream you would surely feel disappointment.

Before you can ask him to elaborate more on what he really means you are swept into a lip lock. His are warm and inviting, enticing a shiver to wrack through the nerves in your spine. It leaves you tingly and wanting more, but he leaves just as soon as he came and you almost feel a whine beginning on your lips but you swallow it down.

You feel it is wrong to kiss him. He's a male and so are you. Yet you can't help but think that this feels so right. Damn the ones who had taken care of you to just send you to your inevitable death.

"No more words," he says, bringing you out of your daze. "Now...," he brings you close to him in an embrace that leaves you warm. Peeking slightly over his shoulder you see those gigantic wings stretching and rising. Warm breath wafting over your ear whilst he whispers against it you accept that this is a much better option than killing demons

"Come with me."

~*~*~*~

~Extra Ending~

~A Year Or So Later~

Free.

You were free.

It had been quite some time since you had become a runaway with your fallen lover and you had grown immensely since then. You had lost your naive nature and your eyes were opened the more time you had spent with him.

You learned what you felt for him was not wrong. It was natural. Those who had repressed your urges when you were younger were the ones who were wrong. Their methods, their teachings, their whole way of life was what was wrong.

You had learned that and even though you still felt sadness tugging at your subconscious you knew they didn't deserve it. They didn't deserve to see how distraught you were after learning everything your life had been was some big lie.

Choosing to come with him, this angelic man, was the one thing you felt you had done right. The one thing that would always feel as if it would fit. The perfect puzzle piece in a picture of distorted imagery.

For once...

Life felt right.

You swiveled your head to gaze at him in his glory. Pressed tight to his side with his wing cast ever you in a sort of, umbrella-like protection, you felt at ease.

You had also learned his name. Every time you spoke it, you felt a swift tug at your heartstrings.

"Tokiya," you whispered.

He turned to you and you took a second to gaze into those bright eyes of his. They reflected the cities lights and made it look as if he held the galaxies within them.

"Where to next?"

He hummed before placing a kiss on your temple. "What about (C/n)? This time of year is supposed to be the most lovely."

You nodded instantly imagining what it must look like. All you could come up with was something akin to being simply beautiful.

"Yes, that is perfect."

The smile on your face made him reflect it on his own.

"Then, come with me, (Y/n)."

In a single breath, you both took flight.

Off to places where your past could never reach you.

[anvh89]

Shadow Hunters, Malec and what I consider the biggest issues

So for some time I and some of the TW meta group have been watching Shadowhunters and discussing/ranting about it. It’s been interesting enough to garner interest and rants and continued viewership, mostly to delight in the things that are going on which are nonsense and also appreciating the Malec story (and ranting about it)

I will admit I have not read any other the source material for a number of reasons *couch*plagiarismfanficscandal*cough* and the writing being meh at best, so I’ll keep to what the show has been telling us and maybe the wiki if something had to be looked up.

So a lot of the issues stem from world building problems, much of it is clearly borrowed from HP considering the origin, but beyond this much of the world building is almost random.

Let’s keep to my interest in Malec for the first bit , so early on the budding relationship meets resistance from Alec, he’s shown as very reticent he’s clearly got a crush on Jace but it’s secret and he’s ashamed of it, now could be many reasons, but then he makes the decision to marry for duty and family because that’s “following his heart” (this after an episode where he’s told by Izzy their parents are trying to marry them off and he just goes not a chance), which implies there is probably a taboo about being gay, but the show never brings that up, there is no homophobia it seems which makes it weird how strange Alec was about his homosexuality to begin with.

And just to get back to that Marriage story line and what it implies and which I think everyone will agree makes zero sense and I’ll tell you why. So the implication of the story line is that SH society is feudal, you see that in the way they talk about families, the Lightwoods, the Herondales, the Branwells etc. (This is almost certainly borrowed from the HP universe) so we have this society which values family power and prestige, that’s what we’re told during the marriage debacle, the Lightwoods were circle members who went back to the clave but lost status (but not that much of a loss since they just got bumped out to the NY institute) but the Clary shenanigans made them lose more favour and the solution the parents came up with was marrying off their kids to a family in better standing.

I’m not sure exactly why it had to be Alec, some weird reason for Izzy not to do it like being a diplomat to the DWers which makes little sense, there is no indication that Maryse stopped working when she married her husband, and Izzy was clearly more open to the idea in the first place.

At any rate this is an interesting storyline with far reaching implications about how SH society functions, but then Alec just decides not to go through with it and there are no consequences? This is where the world building fails, for a number of reasons, including “we’re a dying breed”, we’re led to this conclusion that the SH society is very traditional and set in its ways, that families and family ties are important, that SH are dying out. So basically we have a situation where you’d expect marriages to be based on politics and not something you could decide to get out of on a whim and with the Dying out part you’d expect there to be the expectation of no homosexuality or at least the need to perform the duty of breeding new SH’s for the war.

That could have been a very interesting story line, Alec torn between his love for Magnus and his duty to his society and the expectations of his marriage. Marriage in feudal societies and their view on fidelity was very different so you could have had him in a political marriage with Magnus as his lover on the side no problem. Lot of potential there, but instead it was used to leap frog the Malec ship into something totally romantic without having to spend any reasonable amount of time convincing the audience that Alec and Magnus had developed real feelings for each other (we’re talking about a timeline for the whole show of something like 2 months) and that leapfrogging into a romantic relationship really hurt the shipping potential for Malec, because it’s hard to be convinced that they’re so much in love when most of the scenes were Magnus being thirsty for some SH butt and Alec being weirdly maybe into it but also maybe not?

@flower-of-the-desert live chatted the first season recently and had some things to say about that.

Another massive is just how blind the show seems currently to the fact that the SHs are basically white supremacists and the shadow world is a police state.

It’s really blatant if you just pull the veil off for even a second.

Shadow hunters are the pure beings with angel blood so they can wield divine power (and they can be tainted as seen by Izzy not being allowed into the iron sister’s castle thing, another inconsistency, celibate women in a feudal society where the race is dying out…) to protect the mundanes from invisible demons, and also maybe Downworlders which is a horrifically racist word, I mean downworlders? And this is something they call themselves as well? Bad worldbuilding again, I mean surely no one would care to be called downworlder it’s clearly oppressive just from the word down.  

I looked at the wiki and the accords is basically the SH and the Clave acknowledging that the DW’s have souls and can’t be hunted and killed for sport.

It’s also clear that because they have demon blood in some way downworlders are looked down upon by the clave and SH and Valentine is just the logical extreme of a fundamentalist who wants to commit genocide on the unpure DW’s (which on the show you might have noticed just how many DW’s are POC, it’s where the show gets their diversity)

Then the show keeps telling us (important the complete disconnect between show and tell on this show) that the new generation is a more tolerant generation and such, but here is the thing.

Banging a Downworlder does not make them tolerant!

Seriously when we’re told they’re more tolerant of DW it’s basically because they’re out there having sex with them, Jace and Maia there in season 2 when he was hung up on Clary was basically him slumming it to get bury his manpain…  but the thing is more often than not we’re shown the SH’s exploiting the DW’s for whatever they need at that time, Alec going to Magnus for every little thing, Clary to Luke and Izzy to Raphael and it’s always for something they need help with.

That also goes to the Police state thing, but the most clear examples is during the time where the Seelie woman was killing shadow hunters and making it out to be vampires and werewolves, the shadow hunters decide it’s time to demand DNA tests, to insert trackers in werewolves and Imogen “A downworlder cannot challenge our authority . not in times like these” and then of course there is the fact that Izzy straight up kills the Seelie with impunity and there was no repercussion for her at all. I was stunned I thought oh no now you stepped in it, killing her was the wrong thing to do… but nope and it’s not the only case. They routinely threaten DW’s and such to get their way, Izzy even takes that picture with Raphael’s sister and Simon and that was distasteful too.

It’s especially annoying since we’re presented with the idea that the SH are good, and then we have the way Imogen talks about the downworlders – “Valentine wants those people dead, I am trying to help them” incredibly patronizing and racist it seems almost ripped from the history of slavery (those people can’t think for themselves, they need the help of us good civilized people) and of course her little speech about how Jace is from a line of strong shadow hunters who are revered and feared by those who oppose all that is good and just.

I mean this stuff is so blatant I can’t believe that fandom isn’t in more uproar about it!?

And perhaps it’s because my exposure to fandom has been mostly through Malec and the shiny Malec scenes distract people from the clear truth.

I have to make something clear, I don’t ship Malec, in fact I don’t ship anything on the show, I want to be able to ship Malec, I was all geared up to be able to do so, I appreciate the Malec as a gay relationship and the representation, but the show failed to make me feel the romantic & sexual tension the potential for something more before throwing the two together.

So last episode 219 Raphael and Izzy had more tension together than Malec has had through most of the relationship, even though they should have faced the same issues, and they did, we had a string of episodes where Alec kept fucking up because he didn’t believe in Magnus or he didn’t trust him or he allowed his own privilege to cloud him from the truth of just how awful he was being. Instead of resolving these horrible events in any satisfying way we got the no resolution “Sorry I love you” Smooch that just put Malec back where they started before the episode happened.

That’s not even mentioning how utterly disappointed I was with Magnus big dark secret, what he considers his most ugly side… he’s 400-ish or more years old first we’re expected to believe that he’s never told any of his many loves that he accidentally killed his step-father as a child? And then there is the disappointment that that’s all he is ashamed off? That’s the extent of his dark past? He didn’t have an Angelus period where he didn’t care about human life at all or something, maybe started a war or something… nope all he has to be ashamed off is that one thing and he’s never told a soul for 400+ years…

That’s nit-picky maybe but Magnus has just been continually portrayed as one would a young girl in love for the first time, super doormat and all.

To another nit-picky world building issue

Portals

They make absolutely no sense, when Valentine is being brought to Idris and he gets sprung… when we’re told you can’t enter a portal you don’t know where is going because you’ll be lost.

There are no damn rules about Portals, they do whatever is necessary for plot reasons, sometimes you can enter a portal without knowing, you’ll go where the last person went, but sometimes if you enter a portal you’ll end up where you’re thinking off as you go in…

This is just terrible world building, you have to have a clear rule for how magic stuff works, which brings us to runes and how they’re facing the same problem, they work how the plot needs them to. So the episode where Clary is hallucinating they have to active the healing rune on her to heal her, but instead Jace hugs her and activates his own healing rune and somehow that heals her too? What? And when they were looking for Jonathon they shirtless hug because they can search him out with a new magic rune Clary received from the angels which is terrible deus ex rune writing and could have been done so much better a different way if you’d tweaked the world building and didn’t needlessly have to have the main character be uber-speshul.

But yes they’re tracking jonathan through Clary’s blood and nothing makes sense because they don’t have the same blood or DNA and Jonathon is filled with demon blood versus Clary’s angel blood and don’t even get me started on why Jace had to do it… The whole thing was proxy-sex so they could be weird around each other for no reason, it could have been comedic if they’d have had Alec with them also shirtless hugging because parabatai bs power, at least it would have made it genuinely awkward.  

Another thing, where did Luke’s tattoo runes go when he was turned into a werewolf? And why is he not a shadowhunter werewolf? How is it that he’s no longer a shadow hunter because he got werewolf std’d but Jonathon who’s got demon blood out the wazoo and spent years in edamame or whatever it’s called, the demon realm, he is still a SH for some reason.

World building I tell ya.

I’m sure I’m forgetting something but my mind is all ranted out except for the Malec break up, which damn they should have used those old no-resolution slights to make it better and not have focused so much on the lie and the political aspects because while those are big there are big betrayals that were just glossed over during the season that could have been brought forth to really put a wedge between them for them to overcome or not.

[papatens-blog]

Yuta || Sin of All Sins (m.)

+supernatural au!¡ where an angel falls for a demon only to realize there is a consequence for doing so+ With a flower in my hand and an empty coffee cup in the other I sat there watching the couple smile at eachother lovingly. I've been studying these two for weeks now and maybe they were going somewhere. "Don't even think about it." I heard a male voice snark besides me, holding in a sigh I turned to the demon boy who was already turned to me. "Why'd you have to come after them too? They have chemistry!! They were perfect for eachother!!" I huffed and I looked down in disappointment. "I got bored, and I saw them walking with eachother being all gross holding hands and shit. I also happened to hear that you were taking care of him, just so happens I am too." The demon smiled in content as he watched my disappointed figure slump even farther into the bench. "I don't want you to do this demon, for once, can you just let me succeed? Im already on probation thanks to you..." I knew his name but due to our circumstances I was never allowed to even think about calling him by it. "My name is Yuta you know that. Not 'demon'. Why don't you ever call me by my name y/n? I'm starting to feel insulted by you." I felt my jaw clench as my name rolled off his tongue with no problem what so ever. "Don't say my name...." I had no problem with him saying my name but if anyone of his colleagues overheard something bad could happen to the both of us. "I'll do as I want, incase you forgot, I'm the devil's son. Our 'laws' really don't mean shit to me." He snarked, I looked away from him and focused on the couple in front of us. "Well that's good for you, but I'm not related to the devil in anyway. I can't really risk being as reckless as you, and you know why." I muttered and watched as they gave eachother a hug before separating and going there own way. "They would've been nice together... what do you plan on doing anyway?" I ask the demon, I stand up and begin to follow the man. "I would kill him, make him suffer some long, horrible and painful death. But I know you're going to interfere and I don't want to get in trouble with my dad for hurting one of heavens 'finest' angels." His voice was laced with sarcasm. "Since when do you care about what your dad says? As far as I know if you had the chance you would take me out before I could even wink an eye. Even if your father said there was a punishment for doing so. So what are you doing demon? take me out already, do us a favor why don't you." I say and turn the corner where the man had previously turned, the demon followed suit. I stepped back as I suddenly was surrounded with a heavy black fog, and this my friends is why I hate demon powers. They were never used for any good, the demons only used their powers for their own gain and to harm others. "Don't provoke me." He suddenly appears in front of me, his eyes glowing read with anger and a passionate annoyance. I rolled my eyes and shoved past him. "What'll you do, hm? Shove me into traffic? Shoot me? Stab me? Curse me? You tell me demon what'll you do?" He appeared before me again this time I stopped to hear him out. He shoved his hands in his pockets before leaning his face closer into my own. "So I was told....you've never sinned?" I rolled my eyes and continued walking to catch up with my assignment. "Im an angel, what do you expect demon." He laughs at me as if to mock me, but really I wasn't ashamed to admit my purity. "In hell you'd be a disgrace!" He holds his stomach from all the laughing. "I am a disgrace in hell, im an angel remember?" He didn't say anything as we made our way to our assignments door. Any bad move and he could get suspicious. "How about we play a little prank on him princess?" I fake gagged at the name. "Do me a favor and for once, just disappear." I glared at him, when a demon plays a prank it's not really a prank. A prank to them translates to 'how about putting him in a coma!'. After making sure my assignment was alright I walked past the demon and made my way to my apartment. "Hey, so what do think about meeting again sometime? Maybe tomorrow? I wanna show you something." I scoffed and opened the door, I went inside but stopped at the door to make sure he wouldn't come in. "I can't come in, ah I see you're being cautious....what? Are you afraid...." he leaned closer to me and smirked, "of perhaps, I don't know, maybe becoming unpure?" He was taunting me again. My cheeks reddened as I realized what he was referring to. "How is it sin anyways?! It's just people having fun! It wouldn't kill to have any fun you know?" I wiggled his eyebrows playfully. "Well demon, in order to have that kind of fun without it being sin is if I get married. It's especially bad considering im only 19." After what I said he remained silent, I stood there awkwardly not knowing what to do. "Tell me demon, is there some type of sin in your world?" I broke the silence with a stupid question off the top of my head. "Yeah actually, falling in love." He muttered. "Well I mean it's not a sin per say but it's just a taboo if you catch my drift. But my people treat it like a sin. My dad doesn't think like them, but you know the people have a mind of their own. Tell me angel, what's the biggest sin you can possibly commit in heaven? I know theres a lot of sins there but there has to be one that will just get you kicked out for good. What is it?" It shocked me how interested he was. "Transitioning." I said, he gave me a weird look and gestured for me to go into further detail. "For example, lets say I fall in love with you, a demon, and suddenly I transition from an angel to a demon because of your influence. Not only will I be kicked out of heaven, I'll also get my wings and halo taken away. And if your father doesn't approve of us, we'll be in the middle. Aka a human." I grimaced at the thought but he didn't. "That's not a bad idea actually.... I like the idea of you suffering because of me. Let's do it! Fall in love with me, sin with me!" I began to choke on air from his stupid request. "W-why would I do that for a demon? Why would I humiliate my father like that? Especially for you?" I gave him an incredulous look and crossed my arms waiting for him to explain to me what his deal was. He shoved past me and stormed into my room, a trail of black mist being left behind. I closed the door quicky and made my way to my room where he stood with nothing but his pants. "No no no demon put this back on!" I tossed his shirt at him and covered my eyes. I heard footsteps approach me so I put my head down not wanting to see enough to get me in trouble. "You know whats a perk about being satans son?" He didn't wait for me to answer. "I can see how wet you get for me? I can see how much you sin your mind, I can sense how much you try to fight it but even you know it's been going on too long now. If we do this we can both become human, I know how much you've been craving to be normal and not have to worry about sins and shit like that." I opened my eyes only to be met with sin himself. "What do you mean both become human? You can't do that can you?" "As satan's son I can do whatever the fuck I feel like doing, he doesn't need me there anyways. And you won't become a demon, because I know you'd rather die than become someone like me." He stepped forward and wrapped his arms around my waist. "If I sin with you like this I will get murdered." He leaned in and pressed a needy kiss on my own lips ultimately stopping me from worrying anymore. I didn't want to betray anyone but I wanted this so bad. I've been wanting him ever since we met more than months ago. "I-" "Shh, let it happen...." He whispered into my mouth while lifting up my sweater and feeling sinfully upon my breasts. I unknowingly moaned, it was so wrong but so right at the same time. "I've wanted this too, y/n." He mutters into my neck as I throw my head back in bliss. He bites and sucks a few times on my neck before moving onto my breasts. "Please please~ give me more~" I whine, he chuckles before moving us to my bed where he laid on top of me. He grabs my wrists and pins them above my head as I moan from the way he gingerly licks and nips at my nipples ultimately hardening them. He sits up and unbuttons both of our pants before removing them therefore only leaving us in our underwear. "I've always thought you were beautiful but now you just look like a goddess~" he whispers. "Do you know how to touch a man?" I nod my head letting him know that I didn't. "Sit on me." I wait for him to lay down before sitting on his muscular thigh. He sits up on his elbows and reaches into his boxers to fish out his dick. "Hold this baby.." he hisses once I do so, but I knew it wasn't because I hurt him. "Spit and start s-stroking, fuck! Why are your hands so cold~" he moaned as I slowly let some of my saliva settle on the center of his head. I leaned down before beginning to swirl my wet tongue on his head, instantly he held my head already leading me to a pace he liked. I pulled away of course making sure not to hurt him as I suddenly began to feel a sharp pain on my back. I gripped on his thighs shoving my nails in his thigh as I felt like my wings were being torn off with such a force. "Ah ah you're hurting me y/n!" I ignored him now focusing on the pain on my back, my eyes shut as I screamed in pain. "It's ok it's ok baby~ you're alright...." it wasn't hard to tell he couldn't understand the situation. "It'll hurt more if you focus on it, focus on me baby it'll hurt less." He wrapped his lips on my neck and quickly began shoving his hand in my underwear. "No baby don't do that~ it hurts more~ ah! Just go slow it'll distract me.." he gave me a confused look but did it anyways. He let our lips collide and kept them attached despite the salt of the tears making the kiss a little less fruitful. I felt a pull on my wings again causing me to accidentally bite on his lips, I apologized expecting him to yell in pain but I was honestly shocked to hear him moan into the kiss. "Bite me, scratch me, stab me, knick me, I don't care it feels so good~ do it more for me please~" Yuta moaned, a part of me thought it was weird but the bigger half of me enjoyed his little kink. As I felt another pull I shoved my teeth into his shoulder and scratched trails on his back to help suffice my pain. "Can we please cut the fore play and get to it already? I feel like it'll help" I licked his shoulder and rid it from the blood that came out from the bite. "Fuck yes! I thought you'd never ask" he was quick to move my panties to the side to make way for his throbbing dick. The tiny pain as he slid in was nothing compared to what I felt as my wings were literally being slowly and painfully snatched. There was blood all over my sheets but I knew I would be fine, just as long as he thrusted in me. "Oh yes! Yuta! Yes! Yes! Yes! Fuck! " I moaned as he thrust into me already with a rapid pace. "Rougher babe! Yes! Yeah! You feel so good!" I leaned against his shoulder and began sucking on his beautiful tan skin. "Yes! Yes! Y/n bounce of my dick like that! Oh fuck yes baby I'm near!" The sound of Yuta's moans were enough to distract me from the noises of ripping flesh. As I bounced on him I couldn't help but realize that my halo was gone, it's natural golden glow had been diminished when Yuta first kissed me. His feverish groans made me accept what I had done, and the pain on my back was making sure of that. I couldn't help but feel slightly guilty as my high approached, my moans turning into blood curdling screams as the painful intensity on my back increased. "Im not gonna last baby" Yuta groaned with his head thrown back as he flashed me a smile while doing so. I attacked his neck with bites and kisses as I painted his shoulders with scratches all while we bounced harder and faster to reach our high. Five more minutes felt like hours as I finally came before him, I could only weakly lean on him for support as he thrust himself into me for release. "Yes! Yes! Fuck yes!" He shuddered below me as I felt him come undone. All we could do want pant and exchange tiny gestures of support as we leaned against eachother. I silently got off him and made my way to the corner of the bed as I realized the situation upon me. "What's wrong angel?" He sounded happy as he leaned over to kiss my cheek sweetly. "You can't call me that anymore...." I mutter, the pain on my back making me realize what I've really done. "It's too late to regret. You gave yourself to me and now you're human. We're both human. I didn't give up a life in hell for you to regret being with me.... I won't accept it." He placed his hands on my shoulders and I couldn't find it in myself to push him away. "I don't exactly regret it, I just am not content with something." I mutter avoiding gazing in to his doe like eyes through the mirror. "What is it baby?" His tone showed he was worried. I finally turned to him and sighed not hesitating to plant a gentle kiss on his lips. "Why did I agree to you if I was just gonna be alone as a human here?" He furrowed his eyebrows before letting out a soft "What?" "I mean, after tonight you're going to leave me. Don't deny me Yuta.... you'll decide it was a horrible decision and leave me here to suffer." He got off the bed and dangerously gazed into my eyes. "I wouldn't sacrifice something so huge for someone I didn't like. I love you. We both committed a really big sin, and a way of owning up for it is if we stay together forever." I let his words soak into my mind, a demon fell for an angel. It was uncommon but it was happening in front of my eyes, to me, to us. He leaned forward and gave me a gently lasting kiss before showing me his smile, something I have never seen before from a demon much less Yuta. "Now how about a round two of sinning just this time in the shower? After I'll get your back properly cleaned up." He smiled as he pulled me up. "Yeah for the shower sex, but don't worry about my back it's healed already." I mutter as I rest my hand on his lower back while nipping gently on his collar bone. He sighed obviously contented as we made our way inside the bathroom. || It's been a long ass time since an update. I only really write when I feel like im inspired. I don't write for notes or follows, I really just do it for fun. :) also I really hate writing fucking smut it's a pain in the ass -admin