#who tells him that 1) her whole life has been an error 2) she doesn't think he'd want to be close to her if he truly knew her and 3)

[the-lark-ascending69]

> be a robin buckley fan

> be lesbian

> project on robin

> look up "internalized homophobia robin buckley" on tumblr because it's cathartic

> 3/4 of the posts are about st3ddie or just about steve

[littlexscarletxwitch]

omg!! i have a request! i loveeee mutual pining. so is there anyway you could do something along the lines of the whole “have you seen the way she looks at you? you’d think you’re the one who put the stars in the sky with how much love she has for you” and a jealous love confession from r??

── ༊*·˚⋆ 𝗷𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗼𝘂𝘀𝘆

paring: florence pugh x fem!reader

tag(s): fluff, mutual pining, sexual tension (?), kinda friends to lovers, allusions to sex but sfw

warning(s): mentions of consuming alcohol, smoking (?), grammatical errors, not proofread.

word count: 1.7k

note: I'm back bitchez. Sorry I haven't been posting, I've been lacking inspiration. I apologise in advance if this isn't the good. I hope you like it, nonnie. Let me know if you want a part 2 for what happened next. I'm not a native english speaker, so please let me know about any sort of mistake. Hope you enjoy! <3

requests are open! + check my rules here <3

part 1 | part 2

Your eye twitched as you watched him pull Florence closer to his body. 

She looked so comfortable in his arms, as if she was meant to be there. You felt sick at the sight, wanting more than anything for her to be in your arms, you breathing in her scent, her hand on your thigh trailing small circles, and her burning touch against your skin. 

“Y/n, are you listening?”

Toby snapped you out of your thoughts, forcing you to look away from them. 

“I’m sorry, I was just–”

“Drooling at my sister? Yeah, I’ve noticed.”

“Shut up,” you smacked his arm, afraid Florence would hear the two of you talking. 

But it was almost impossible for you to hear Toby through the loud music, so you figured it would be even harder for her to hear you two. Not that it mattered anyway, she was too engrossed by that idiot.

“Why don’t you tell her?” Toby took a sip from his cup.

“Tell her what?” you tried to play dumb, but he knew you pretty well, you couldn’t fool him. 

“Tell her that you are madly in love with her.”

“I’m not,” you scoffed. 

“Oh, come on. I’ve seen the way you look at her. The eyes, chico. They never lie.”

“Don’t give me that Scarface shit, you twat.”

“Who is a twat?” Raffie’s voice made you jump. 

“Toby.”

“Y/n.”

The both of you replied at the same time, causing Raffie to chuckled and rolled her eyes at the both of you. 

“Yeah, you both are.”

“This twat here,” Toby pointed at you, “doesn't want to tell Florence how she feels.”

“Oh, yeah. She is a twat.”

“Raffie,” you knitted your brows.

“He’s right, you know. Why can’t you just tell her?”

“Just look at her,” you nodded in Florence's direction. She was laughing at whatever that idiot had said. “She clearly likes him. Plus, we’ve been friends forever. I can’t just ruin our friendship. I won’t. I would rather have her as a friend than not have her at all in my life.”

Raffie looked at his brother. The both of them were so done with you and Florence’s bullshit. You two were so dense, always going to either Toby or Raffie to mumble nonstop about each other: “Florence is just so breathtaking,” you would say. “Y/n, she’s mesmerising. She makes my knees go weak, Raffie,” Florence would tell her. “Her laugh is just like a melody to my ears,” Toby would roll his eyes at you. “She makes me so nervous, but I also feel so at ease next to her,” Florence would tell her brother.

They could see the whole thing crystal clear. She liked you, you liked her, simple as that. They never understood how you missed Florence’s hints towards you, or the way she would touch you, or how her eyes would lit up the second you came into the room. But then again, Florence never noticed how you would laugh at her lame dad jokes, or how you would always need to be close to her, or the fact that you would always come up with stupid excuses just to be with her.

Florence felt your burning gaze on her frame, finding your eyes in an instant. She smiled at you, as she would always do just to see your cheeks turning red. But all she received was a tight smile and next thing she knew you were walking away from Raffie and Toby. She could tell something was bothering you. Of course she could tell, she spent every minute of her day watching over your every movement and reaction. She knew when you were sad, angry, happy, scared, worried. And she could tell something was upsetting you. 

“Hey, where are you going?” Chad, the dude she met just minutes ago, asked. 

Chad wasn’t bad, he was just a little too drunk. Florence was too kind to turn him away, but she really had no interest in him. 

“Listen, Chad. I had a good time,” he was so boring, “but I have to go, yeah?”

“Oh.” 

“You know, that brunette over there has been looking at you the entire night. Why don’t you go and say hi?”

“Really?” Chad looked confused. 

“Yeah, just go, buddy. Have fun and don’t do anything you shouldn't be doing,” Florence said before getting closer to where her siblings were. 

“It’s just, you know how dense they–”

“Hey, you!” Raffie cut Toby off. 

“Hey, what happened to Y/n?” she ignored what the two of them were talking about earlier. Right now, she was more interested in knowing what had happened to you. 

“Oh, you know, she just…” Raffie trailed off, looking at her brother for help.

Toby could almost see Raffie’s brain trying to find the right words to say. If he had been a little more sober, his brain would probably be doing the same. But he was a little tipsy, and his brain wasn’t working properly. 

“You know what, fuck it. Florence,” he grabbed her sister by her shoulder, “you need to go find Y/n, and tell her how you feel.”

“You know I can’t do that, she would–”

“No, just listen to me. I’m done with this bullshit. She loves you, okay?”

“Toby,” she tried to say but Toby once again cut her off.

“No, hear me out. Have you seen the way she looks at you? No, of course not, you’re clueless, for god’s sake,” he answered himself. “They way she looks at you, she just,” his intoxicated brain was struggling to find the right words. “This girl is utterly in love with you. You’d think you’re the one who put the stars in the sky with how much love she has for you, Flo.”

Florence didn’t know what to say.

“She’s been watching you the whole night with that dude. She thought you liked him, and she just couldn't take any longer watching you with him. So, you go after her and tell her how you feel, okay?”

Florence could only nod at them, still too stunned to actually speak. Her brain was going so fast thinking the right words to confess her feelings to you. But first she needed to find you. 

She knew you were upset, upset because of her but that didn’t matter right now. And when you would get upset you would always go out to have a smoke. She walked out of the pub, looked to her right then to her left. And that was when she saw you. Leaning against the wall, eyes closed breathing out the smoke. 

She carefully approached you, as if she were to be too loud you would run away from her. 

“Mind sharing?” 

Your eyes opened at the sound of her voice, your heart rate increasing. You passed the cigarette to her, your fingertips brushing against her skin. You watched as she breathed in, her chest puffing up causing butterflies in your stomach. 

“What happened to the guy you were talking to?” you suddenly remembered why you were upset. 

Florence noticed the slight anger in your voice. Was it also jealousy maybe? 

“What about him?” she was now messing with you, wanting to see if you were actually jealous. 

“I just thought you two were getting along,” you shrugged. 

“We were,” your heart shrunk at her words. “Why did you walk out, Y/n?” you noticed she got closer to you, which made you more nervous. 

Florence was also nervous, about you being that close to her, about her heart beating so fast, but she couldn’t let you see that. Not if she wanted to tease you a little bit.

You grabbed the cigarette and brought it up to your lips. 

“I just needed some space,” you breathed out the smoke. 

“Bullshit.”

She took a step closer to you, her feet touching yours.

“I just…”

“It’s okay, you can tell me,” she whispered. 

You could feel her hot breath on your lips. 

“I didn’t want to watch.”

“Watch what exactly?” she knew what you were talking about, but she wanted to hear you say it.

Your eyes moved down to her lips and quickly moved up to find her eyes. 

“I didn’t want to watch you with him. I didn’t want to watch him touching you, is that what you wanna hear? That I couldn’t even watch him looking at you. That you made me go fucking crazy,” 

“And what are you going to do about it?” her lips were so close to yours. If you were to move you would be kissing her. 

You brought the cigarette to your lips one more time, breathing in and then breathing out the smoke on her parted lips. You watched as she breathed in and then out the smoke. Even though your brain was clouded with a bit of alcohol and her intoxicating scent, you then realised that she was teasing you. That she wanted you to react like this. So you did what you hoped she wanted you to do. 

Your lips found hers, putting the both of you out of your misery. You could taste the cigarette in her mouth and the vodka she had earlier. A moan escaped from your lips when you felt her teeth biting into your bottom lip. Your hand went to find her hair, slightly pulling it, causing a whimper to fall out of her mouth, but was muffled by your lips. You were so lost on her lips, and her body against yours that you didn’t notice two figures coming your way. 

“Fucking finally!” Toby shouted, causing the two of you to pull back from each other. 

“Get a room, you two!” Raffie joked. 

“Shut up,” Florence and you said at the same time, which made the four of you chuckle. 

“Are you guys ready to go home?” Toby asked. 

Florence pecked your lips one more time and said, “Hell yeah!” a grin was plastered on her face. 

“Oh, gross. I know that look,” Raffie complained. 

“What look?” Florence played dumb, she knew exactly what her sister was talking about. 

“Just don’t be too loud, okay? I have to wake up early tomorrow.”

“I can’t make any promises,” she said, making her way to the car, pulling you inside with her. 

“We should drop them in a hotel or something,” Toby mumbled. 

Likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated! <3

-M

[hematomes]

the harbingers, and how la commedia dell'arte influences them

okay so, it's gonna be a long post. first of all, im only summarizing this very interesting theory so do check it out if you're interested, it's really worth it (plus im really gonna summarize it so). i also won't be talking about pierro here because there is much to say about him and this post is already extremely long, but he might get his own post later

as always, im just a french guy, there will most likely be grammatical errors and awkward sentences bc that's how i work in life

Enter serious mode.

I. La commedia dell'arte (LCA)

To grasp at least the general idea of that theory, and of the harbingers as a whole, you obviously need some info on La Commedia Dell'arte. Basically, it's an Italian form of theatre that has expanded to other countries, particularly France etc. It consists in archetypes (= the harbingers' names), and two main categories : the Vecchi (elders, aka the rich, the one for which no one roots) and the Zanni (their servants, working class etc, the beloved). But there is a 3rd category, consisting in 2 people : the Innamorati.

The Innamorati are two star-crossed lovers (innamorato is the guy, innamorata is the girl), that can't be together mainly because of the Vecchi but also because they're just fucking stupid. The main plot of the plays are to get the Innamorati together, with the help of the Zanni (like really, the sole purpose of the Zanni is to get them together and overcome the Vecchi). The Innamorati are very selfish, single-minded and they basically don't care about anything other than themselves and their beloved. But they also can't communicate properly, to the point where they are their own biggest obstacle sometimes. However, every play inevitably ends with them being reunited.

Disclaimer real quick: this isn't me being a proshitter (ew), but the parallel between the Innamorati and the twins is... just really obvious. The traveler's sole purpose is to find their sibling, and the sibling's sole purpose is to nuke Celestia via the Abyss Order. They also could've been reunited through the We Will be Reunited quest, but didn't because the traveler cannot understand their twin's need to carry on with a war against the divine. Hence the communication issues.

De facto, we can rather clearly tell who will join the traveler and who won't, thanks to the Vecchi/Zanni parallel: most of the Vecchi won't, and most of the Zanni will.

II. Harbingers who won't join the traveler

1. La Signora

The first obvious one is, to no one's surprise, La Signora. Rosalyne portrays most of La Signora's (the archetype) traits: cunning, cold, arrogant, proud, defined by her greed... She also defies the Traveler directly and schemes against them to get what the wants (the gnoses - like Zhongli's, for example). She also keeps up with that persona via her last line, "I never asked for redemption"; she doesn't die begging for mercy, but rather very proudly and full of anger.

Ironically, her own arrogance was what caused her demise: she didn't even think of the possibility of Scaramouche betraying her and the Tsaritsa.

2. Pantalone

He's one of the most important Vecchi, and is primarily defined by his greed, his character revolving around money. He's also the father of one of the Innamorati (generally the Innamorata) and does basically everything in his power to keep her away from her lover.

Man's really full of himself, thinks he's smarter than everyone (and than he actually is). He's also very petty, and seeks revenge on everyone (lmao Eula). However, he also never forgets a deal and is a man of action, not words.

He's one of the worst, tbh. He mistreats and abuses the Zanni but also treats some Vecchi the same way.

Therefore, he will most likely have great importance in the story, and be one of the main antagonists; not to mention that he could probably oppose the Traveler directly, as he's done with the Innamorati.

He's theorized as originating from Liyue because his whole character revolves around money, and he has similar views on contracts as Zhongli. Also, if I'm not mistaken, he's the manager of the Northland Bank.

According to the Pale Flame set lore, he doesn't have a Vision, which makes him quite bitter - and which is why he seeks to destroy Teyvat's economy (for example, he tried tod estroy Mond's wine industry with a Fatuus disguised as a wine merchant) as revenge.

3. Il Dottore

I'm gonna break a lot of hearts with this one, but Dottore most likely won't be playable.

Il Dottore is, in LCA, Pantalone's comedic foil. He despises Pantalone, and is often the victim of his plots. While Pantalone revolves around money, Dottore is more on the intellectual side of it, and has canonically attended university in some depictions (= Sumeru, in our case). However, his title of Doctor is self-appointed.

He'll perform random experiments in the name of science, just like our green-haired freak. And trick people into participating in said experiments by making them drink weird stuff. He also apparently performs surgery either on himself or others...

The main reason for Dottore not being playable, aside from this theory, is actually the fact that he experimented on children (Collei, for example), which is (for most players, and understandably so) a "Moral Event Horizon". It does make sense, associating this type of character with the "good guys" can be dangerous.

4. Il Capitano

He was appointed by Pantalone to protect the Innamorata from her lover, but he tries to win her love instead.

All of his titles are self-appointed, he's actually a gigantic fraud, a coward and super incompetent. That man has no loyalty, and his only goal is to get rich.

Capitano is a Spanish character, so in this theory he's speculated to appear in Natlan - where he'll win their trust because he LIES. But his point in LCA is to be de-masked, so he'll probably end up revealed as a complete fraud from both Natlan and the Harbingers. He might also fake joining the Traveler side for his own benefit.

Considering one common theme about Capitano is trying to get the Innamorata's love, he could betray the Fatui to get on the Traveler's side, or try to convince the Traveler to join the Fatui.

Also considering his point is to be de-masked, he could actually become playable - but not as Capitano, because he'll have been de-masked by the Traveler. Either that, or Mihoyo will kill him off.

III. The Harbingers who have joined/will most likely join the Traveler's party

First of all, the Zanni aren't exactly the "good guys". They're depicted as villainous, they're traitors and scheming characters who manipulate - even if their goal is to get the Innamorati together, it's not out of the goodness of their heart but for their own benefits. It's an important thing to keep in mind like... Don't expect the Harbingers to be nice just because they're on our side.

1. Tartaglia

This one is obviously not a theory since this guy has had three goddamn banners, but more of an explanation on how he joined the party, linked to LCA. I also want to talk about it because the Tartaglia from LCA is really fucking miserable, like... a whole pathetic little meow meow (/aff).

He's depicted as an old man with bad eyesight. In some plays he can replace Pantalone or Il Dottore and therefore start as a Vecchio, but he'll ultimately always side with the Innamorati.

His name is derived from tartagliare, which means "to stutter" and depicts the fact thzt chaos always follows him, mainly because the Zanni always struggle to understand what he's trying to say. His main emotions are therefore anger and frustration at his incapacity to speak properly, and he's often made fun of because of that (which sucks. Fuck people who make fun of stutters)

Childe is disliked by the other Harbingers because he causes chaos and disrupts their plans, even going as far as almost destroying Liyue Harbor. He's also super quick-tempered and full of anger and bloodlust, so that fits. But he also joined the Traveler after his defeat, so...

Also, his Constellation depicts some kind of person destined for never-ending battles, to no one's surprise.

2. Pulcinella

As the representative of Snezhnaya, Pulcinella is the other confirmed playable Harbinger. He's also the one that recruited Childe in the Fatui.

Pulcinella is a french guy, who remains crouched to avoid getting hit until he can spring back on his feet and "bounce up to full height". He represents the poor guy who doesn't have much to lose and speaks candidly even to his superiors because he doesn't fear the consequences for his actions (king). It's a common trope for him to win no matter what.

Basically he doesn't give a fuck, and that's why the audience loves him. He's an opportunist and looks out for himself but somehow also helps others.

The theory obviously depicts him as a Snezhnayan, but predicts we'll see him in Fontaine under a different name - which also correlates with the fact that Pulcinella is a French immigrant (so, like Thoma with Mond, yk).

We could also meet him in Sumeru, tho. As for Snezhnaya, it's possible that he'll protect the Traveler there, much like Thoma was our guide in Inazuma.

3. Scaramouche (distant yelling)

My favorite part. <3 Okay so.

In LCA, Scaramuccia is a little shit. He gets himself into trouble and pins the blame on others, and somehow always gets away with it. He's an unreliable servant who ends up betraying the Vecchi, much like Scaramouche betrayed the Harbingers - and he's also the 1st one to betray them, making the other Zanni follow suit.

The only reason Scaramuccia sides with the Innamorati is out of spite for the Vecchi. So Scaramouche could very well join us just to fuck with the Tsaritsa, tbh.

I won't go too much into the Kabuki part of it (could make a separate post about it, but honestly the doc i linked gives pretty much everything), but it actually shows how Scaramouche isn't just an antagonist. First off, he named himself Kunikuzushi (the main antagonist of Kabuki theatre), but his outfit echoes more with the hero protagonist. There are also parts of his outfit that symbolize protection against evil, and kind of solidifies his future role as Inazuma's protector rather than destroyer.

He'll need to find peace with his heart before he can finally side with the Traveler. Another interesting thing is that, in LCA, Scaramuccia is the one that helps the Innamorati communicate - which could mean that Scaramouche helps the Traveler get in touch with their sibling, making him... actually super important. But that, plus the fact that he needs to find peace, means he could very well not be playable for a very long time.

4. Columbina

She actually is an educated Zanni, and the most... normal of the bunch. She's very smart, depicted as a young woman, and also the Innamorata's personal maid.

She sympathizes very quickly with the Traveler, which means she could very well be playable right off the bat. The theory makes ties with Honkai Impact tho, and as someone who isn't invested in that game at all, i can't really develop.

5. Arlecchino

He's Columbina's love interest, but does go after other women. He's also the most-known character of LCA, very clearly in support of the Innamorati and characterized by how STUPID he is. He's a genuinely good guy, terrified of his master (either Pantalone or Dottore), and also beats up Scaramuccia in some plays.

He's not the scheming type, but he's very reactive and impulsive and is in charge of the LCA's rhythm. Whatever scheme he may try to plan, it never works, and everyone loves watching him struggle tbh.

Arlecchino is tightly linked to Dottore and, in a Watatsumi quest, he's mentioned by an electro Fatuus guy, who says he and his friends grew up in an orphanage founded by Arlecchino. We also know that the Fatui mobs we see in-game have been experimented on, and that Arlecchino is in some cases Dottore’s servant, so it could mean that Dottore forces him to give a portion of his orphans to experiment on them.

6. Sandrone

Sandrone is, surprisingly, the puppet - we thought it'd be Scaramouche, but everything actually tied him to the doll, so onto our actual little pinocchio. He's a very... side character, we don't know much about him (in LCA, i mean) apart from the fact that he's just a peasant, not exactly tied to the Zanni nor the Vecchi.

He's often compared to Robin Hood, as the spokesperson of the poor people of society. But that doesn't make him a nice person, as he's still a trickster and a malicious man who does everything in his power to provide for him family.

As for Genshin, well... it's hard to make any assumptions, and even harder to say if he'll ever be playable. However, as the puppet, he could be (according to the theory, not me)(but i agree) some kind of enhanced human who lost all aspects of his humanity. It could be out of his own will, as he'd do anything to provide for his family.

[bikelock28]

Can you explain what you mean by “Lupin's Pottermore bio doesn't fit with canon Remadora.”?

Ohhh boy, thank you for asking this question. I've been wanting to get this off my chest for a while. There are 3 main inconsistencies so prepare for a long answer!

Inconsistency 1: OotP According to Pottermore, the whole Lupin/Tonks thing kicks off with: One night when they lay in hiding outside a known Death Eater’s house, after a year of increasingly warm friendship, Tonks made an idle remark about one of their fellow Order members (‘He’s still handsome, isn’t he, even after Azkaban?’). Before he could stop himself, Remus had replied bitterly that he supposed she had fallen for his old friend (‘He always got the women.’). At this, Tonks became suddenly angry. ‘You’d know perfectly well who I’ve fallen for, if you weren’t too busy feeling sorry for yourself to notice.’

Then Lupin goes Full Lupin about it and, "avoided any further excursions with [Tonks], barely talked to her, and started volunteering for the most dangerous missions. Tonks became desperately unhappy". This all happened BEFORE Sirius' death.

There's a few things to unpack here. I'll start with the fact that "I suppose you've fallen for him. He always got the women," is a crazy thing to say to someone about their cousin. JK is a fan of the Tonks-loves-Sirius fake-out and it's understandable from Harry's PoV but a weird take from Lupin (*cough* especially if you also ship Wolfstar *cough*).

Next, in the final scene of OotP, Tonks is described as, "her bright bubble-gum-pink hair gleaming in the sunlight"- her hair is still working and she is specifically described as standing in sunlight, #patheticfallacy. "Next to Tonks was Lupin"- THEY ARE SPECIFICALLY MENTIONED AS BEING BESIDE EACH OTHER. And then they start finishing each other's sandwiches sentences. Not the behaviour of a guy who is desperately trying to avoid someone.

Inconsistency 2: HBP After all that, Lupin goes off to Greyback Land for most of HBP. Pottermore says that around Bill's hospital bed in HBP Ch 29, "Tonks made a brave, public declaration of her feelings for Remus, who was forced to admit the strength of his love for her". This fits with what Pottermore has previously suggested- that HBP Ch29 is the first time these feelings have been discussed by either party since the "You’d know perfectly well who I’ve fallen for". Except here's the dialogue from the book: Tonks: “You see! She still wants to marry him, even though he’s been bitten! She doesn’t care!"

Lupin: “It’s different. Bill will not be a full werewolf. The cases are completely —”

Tonks: “But I don’t care either, I don’t care! I’ve told you a million times…”

Lupin: “And I’ve told you a million times that I am too old for you, too poor…too dangerous…”

Molly: “I’ve said all along you’re taking a ridiculous line on this, Remus,”

Lupin: “I am not being ridiculous. Tonks deserves somebody young and whole.”

Arthur: “But she wants you. And after all, Remus, young and whole men do not necessarily remain so,"

Lupin: “This is…not the moment to discuss it. Dumbledore is dead…”

Professor McGonagall: "Dumbledore would have been happier than anybody to think that there was a little more love in the world,” This is not a "brave, public declaration of feelings for Remus"! And in no way does Lupin "admit the strength of his love for her"! It's almost the opposite, he can barely look at her. Nobody mentions love until McGonogall right at the end. This isn't a declaration of love, this is a follow-up argument from a conversation which has already happened, and which all the adults in the room are aware of. It doesn't fit with the Pottermore implication that this has all been repressed for a year- this situation has been well-known, and it's clearly not the first time Tonks and Lupin have discussed their relationship.

Inconsistency 3: HBP/DH The above scene happens on 30/6, and by 31/7, they're married and they both know she's pregnant. Even if you headcanon the unlikely idea that Teddy was conceived as soon as Harry left the room in HBP Ch29, 31 days is pretty quick to develop pregnancy symptoms at all, let alone decide the symptoms are consistent enough to warrant a test, and then actually get hold of and do the test. And that's just for Tonks to find out herself, she might have taken a while to tell Lupin. And it wasn't a normal 31 days, it was a pretty busy time in which you might not have time to worry about missing a period or sourcing a pregnancy test! So while technically yes, it could have happened, it seems a pretty tight turnaround to me (full disclosure: I've never been or tried to get pregnant, so my evidence for this is anecdotal/from Google. Happy to be corrected if anybody has anything about this to add).

(Also Pottermore says, "Remus realised that Tonks was pregnant," which irritates me because I’m pretty sure that Tonks realised Tonks was pregnant before anybody else did).

Conclusion Those are the three main inconsistencies imo. I vaguely included that “You’d know perfectly well who I’ve fallen for, if you weren’t too busy feeling sorry for yourself to notice” scene in Pluto because I quite like it (despite having to find a reason why Lupin would suggest that cousins fancy each other), although I had it be a catalyst to Tonks and Lupin having a relationship in OotP. I suppose I was trying to cover all basis/ have my cake and eat it, and sometimes I wish I hadn’t included that Pottermore scene at all tbh, but there we are. For me, Book Canon is gospel and Pottermore etc is a lesser form of canon, so the inconsistencies don't, like, ruin my life. They're just kind of annoying. I don't think they're huge errors or fails on JK's part, I reckon she overlooked a few details from the books when she wrote Pottermore, which is forgivable considering there's over a million words of the books in total. Phew! Glad to get that off my chest. Thanks for asking, have a fantastic week :) x

[purple-fireflies]

Lets talk about my personal favorite Soy Luna character, Matteo Balsano

So, to start off, we'll go through his character development.

Season 1 Matteo, simply described, was a playboy. He was in a relationship with a person he had no feelings for and viewed it purely as transactional.

In my opinion, season one Matteo, while he was not the best person to look up to for advice, he was really the best part of the episodes. The chemistry he had with Luna, the scenes with Gastón, and his humor and dry wit - he was a great character.

Going into his relationship with Luna, Matteo at first saw it as the thrill of the chase (she gave him no attention, this was extremely weird for someone like Matteo, ergo, he has to prove them wrong) but he slowly began to have real feelings for Luna, versus what he has with Ámbar. Luna was someone he was genuinely drawn to and her influence showed him how to grow beyond his faults.

Luna also sees through Matteo's mask of perfection, which I think is something he hasn't ever had anyone do before. She understands his past and lets him let down his guard and grow attached to someone.

What I like about Matteo's character arc in season one is that he's essentially still the same guy - he's funny, he's sarcastic, he's flirty, etc, only now he's a little more sensitive to others feelings.

Matteo's friendship with Gastón (throughout the show) is absolutely incredible. They both have really good chemistry on-screen and know each other extremely well. They bounce off of each other's strengths (I'm just sad we never got to see a double date of Lutteo and Gastina).

So that's all well and good.

Here's where I may have somewhat of an unpopular opinion in the fandom.

Part of my opinion, I do agree with everyone:

Season 2 Matteo was nuts and the writers didn't do him justice.

Some of the things he said to Luna were COMPLETELY OOC.

This is the guy who trusts Luna more than ever, who understands her past, who is so irrevocably in love with her.

Why would he be so horrible to her?

Why would he say such horrible things to her?

HE WOULDNT.

The writers really screwed his character up in the second season, and I would like to formally request that we just not pay attention to a lot of the incredibly OOC things Matteo did in season 2 and chalk it up to the author's error. Please and Thank you. :)

But in addition to that:

I understand some of the things Matteo did at the beginning of Season 2 (i.e, not telling Luna about going to Oxford).

Matteo's been under constant pressure with his father his entire life. He has also moved from place to place, his entire life. In Season 1, it's shown that Matteo purposefully tries not to get attached to anyone, but he tries and fails with Luna.

So, this guy knows he's going to end up leaving this girl he loves on top of going to a college he doesn't want to. He also knows that Luna will try to make the most of their time together if he tells her. (Let's also keep in mind that he's only 17/18 right now so it's not like he's supposed to be making world-class decisions).

With all of that, I can excuse him not telling Luna about Oxford.

The whole thing with Fer though? That was THE most OOC and incredibly stupid thing I have ever seen done and I don't think Matteo would ever do that to Luna but alas, his character was dealt with so badly.

Then the second part of season two (after Lutteo got together and was just SO ADORABLE), Matteo gets a record deal, and here's where things go so south it's just-

Firstly, with Bruno's manipulation, I have three points.

1) Matteo is an incredibly smart and perceptive human being, and he knows when he is being manipulated, why is it different with Bruno? It shouldn't have been. Matteo would've known.

2) Matteo's obsession with his record deal is somewhat understandable. He was essentially disowned by his father for his passion, and now he has a chance to prove to him that he can do it, and do it by himself. When this goes south, it's like the universe is telling him "Oh, your dad was right" so, to me, him freaking out and getting sad was a little understandable.

3) While him hating that the deal went south and becoming sad about it was understandable, THERE WAS NO REASON for him to say such horrible things to Luna (I believe it was something along the lines of "Now I'm going to only pay attention to myself"). I'm sorry - WHAT? Where did all of his character development go?

In season three, Matteo undoes all of what he did (and while Soy Luna loves itself the miscommunication trope, I do think Lutteo could've communicated better) and basically reverts to end of season one Matteo.

SO CONCLUSION (thanks to the poor souls who read through the entire thing) - Matteo Balsano is an amazing character with a lot of depth and some of the choices he made in Season 2 were simply the author's error and he should get more love.

I am so sorry I didn't realize it would be this long.

[thebigoblin]

K, L, and M!

Hiii!!! *flails because WOW hello greatest moodboard creator I've ever seen*

K: What's the angstiest idea you've ever come up with?

Dammn going right for it with the first question huh?

Okay, I have 3 answers for you - one is written and posted already, and 2 are only ideas in my brain as of now.

1. It's a Katana

Okay, so this is one my older works (I say old, but it's like, 5 months old ajjsjsjskabsb, but to be fair, I think I've become a better writer since than???) and I absolutely love it!! It also just got a comment on it but before answering that amazing human back I gotta reread the fic lmao 😂😂 BUT to answer this particular question, this is the angstiest idea because this features Void!Stiles, and Derek feels and some pack feels?? Ig. I don't really remember. But I remember thinking this was pretty angsty, so....

2. The prompt fic I am working on for @ilovepeachystuff. (I'm sorry Ik it's been 2 months 😭 but I WILL get around to writing this!!!) So, this fic is about Stiles and his self-worth issues, with nods to his mom's death and some other childhood stuff that's made him feel like people don't listen to him. I promise it has a happy ending tho!! Working title is Listen.

3. This is a Petopher fic idea!!! I was inspired by Blank Space by Taylor Swift. I want to write this fic for @tw-songevent but idk if I'll finish it tho. So, basically, the idea is that Peter is a playboy who meets Chris and makes Chris fall for him. BUT. In doing so he falls for Chris too, which was not in the plan. It's supposed to be very angsty, Chris falls in love first and when he finally gives into that feeling, he learns about Peter's plan. And then, when Peter is out of Chris' life (and Allison's... this is a human au where Chris just got divorced from Victoria), Peter realizes that he has fallen in love. The ending is supposed to be Chris being like, Allison needs stability, and Peter has been in both their lives enough that she sees him as a permanent fixture in her life, so the two of them remain sorta friends. But in the ending, Chris finally gives in to the idea of actually dating Peter. (I'm sorry if it sounds confusing but it's all very clear in my head! Lol)

L: How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?

WHY YOU GOTTA COME AT ME LIKE THIS!!!

Okay so firstly: Sorry for yelling at you 😂 and second: maybe twice? Like, when I write, I usually go back over the lines a few times before proceeding further. So that's one. Then when I go to post them to ao3, I try and read through the whole thing at once, catch any mistakes if I can. That's two. Ik it's not much, but hey, fic writing is for funnn so *shrugs* (also can someone tell my brain I write fics for fun?? It can have errors, damnit! It doesn't have to be perfect 😭)

M: Got any premises on the back burner that you'd care to share?

Ooh, ooh, ooh!! I can't share what it is, but one fic is being written for my Sterek Secret Santa Giftee and I love what I have written so far! Hmm, then, the prompt one for @ilovepeachystuff, and then another prompt, this one for @deepestbelieverstranger. She asked for Sterek leaving together after Monroe, so that's what it is. I'll share a few lines from it!

Stiles shakes his head, winces when the action pulls at his neck; Monroe had her men throw him and Lydia in a too tight cell, the only point of comfort the steady presence of Lydia beside him, and the ever dimming hope of a rescue from Scott and the others.

Derek comes closer, the way he's been doing since Stiles cleared his name with the FBI. Rough, yet gentle hands bring warmth to his neck, take away the pain. Stiles breathes out in relief.

Scott hadn't come. Not to rescue them, at least. Wrapped up in his quest to save everyone, Scott had done what he thought he needed to do, unthinking of what losing Stiles and Lydia would mean in that very quest. Scott might be the True Alpha, but he is not the one leading everyone. So, essentially, Scott hadn't come. Not for them. But someone else had.

Derek and Parrish, an unlikely duo; one a savage beast, and the other the stuff of nightmares to the savage beast. And yet.

I do not have a title for this yet, and I haven't written much more in this one, but I hope I can soon!!

[tabloidtoc]

OK, March 8

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Bruce Springsteen

Page 1: Big Pic -- as part of Coach's latest campaign Jennifer Lopez posed with a supersized pink version of their new Pillow Tabby purse

Page 2: Contents

Page 3: Contents

Page 4: Chris Harrison gone for good? The Bachelor host's future with the show remains uncertain after his controversial interview with Rachel Lindsay

Page 6: Since the start of his career Justin Timberlake has endured his fair share of scandals but after welcoming his second son with wife Jessica Biel over the summer and celebrating his 40th birthday, he is confessing that he feels immense guilt about the past and he won't be making the same mistakes in the future -- Justin's done some soul-searching and accepts that he's wronged a lot of people over the years with his own terrible mistakes and he says he's still a work in progress, but step one has been to stand up and admit he's hurt too many women -- in addition to a boozy night out with his Palmer costar Alisha Wainwright in 2019 and his part in the now-infamous Nipplegate incident with Janet Jackson at the 2004 Super Bowl, Justin recently came under fire again due to the documentary Framing Britney Spears which showed him exploiting his breakup from Britney Spears to help his solo career -- Justin's learned from his mistakes and has a lot more sensitivity about the impact of his actions on other people and that's the big difference between the Justin of today and his old, immature self and that self-awareness was evident in an emotional statement that he posted apologizing to both Britney and Janet for the errors in his ways -- his words drew praise from his wife Jessica who says he's come a long way as a husband, a father and more importantly, a human being

Page 7: Wendy Williams is on the prowl for a new man and he's got to be husband material and she is ready for a serious commitment -- Wendy's been staying up until all hours of the night checking out guys online and on exclusive dating apps and she wants someone age-appropriate, fun, kind, independent and of course has no history of cheating -- she's feeling very optimistic and even buying new perfume and clothes and jewelry for all the dates she hopes to have once lockdown lifts

* Texas native Matthew McConaughey is seriously considering throwing his hat in the ring to become the state's next governor -- he's been putting out feelers to see if he's got sufficient support and if enough donors are willing to write checks, he'd mount an aggressive run in 2022 -- he's already gotten the thumbs-up from his wife Camila Alves and their three kids -- at this point, he needs to see an actual path to winning because he's not interested in just making a protest statement; don't be fooled by his aw-shucks attitude, Matthew means business

* Now that Keeping Up With the Kardashians is coming to an end, the hunt is on for a new family to replace the clan and one reality pro is poised to nab the prize: Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Lisa Rinna -- there's already been talk about Lisa picking up the torch and her family is camera ready, consisting of husband Harry Hamlin, and their daughters Delilah Hamlin who's dating Love Island's Eyal Booker and Amelia Hamlin who's dating Scott Disick

Page 8: Things keep going from bad to worse for Armie Hammer -- he was forced to drop out of his upcoming movie Shotgun Wedding with Jennifer Lopez after direct messages he allegedly sent to women in which he described himself as a cannibal and detailed disturbing sexual fantasies were leaked online -- Armie was also fired by his talent agency WME and now the disgraced star may get cut from his new film Next Goal Wins which has already been shot -- he's radioactive and everybody knows it and his completed but unreleased work is getting a second look as studios want to do damage control, and that includes another of his finished projects Death on the Nile where his part could end up on the cutting room floor -- he's a pariah now and it's hard to see how he's ever going to come back from this

* Jennifer Aniston has always had a spiritual side but these days she is taking things to a whole new plane -- Jen has surrounded herself with psychics and has been doing Goddess Circles with the same group of close friends for 30 years, but now she's taking courses to learn to heal herself and be her own guru -- BFF Courteney Cox has been a big influence and Jen's learned a lot from Courteney, who's had a long-term interest in mediums, astrologists and horoscopes, and she's trying to fuse it all together into her own brand of spirituality -- Jen's had a lot of time alone, which has only deepened her questions about the universe and how she can make the most of her life and she's determined to find the answers

* Princess Eugenie is over the moon after welcoming her first child, a baby boy with businessman husband Jack Brooksbank but now the new mom is torn about taking time out from her royal responsibilities -- Eugenie would love to take a long break from everything and focus solely on raising her son however she knows deep down how much she's needed, especially since Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are showing no signs of coming back -- as she weighs her options, Eugenie is looking to her multi-tasking cousin-in-law Duchess Kate for some inspiration because she's impressed by how Kate is able to juggle her official duties while raising three young kids

Page 10: Red Hot on the Red Carpet -- stars captivate in enchanting puff-sleeve numbers -- Bel Powley, Aubrey Plaza, Lupita Nyong'o

Page 11: Kaitlyn Dever, Lucy Boynton, Margaret Qualley

Page 12: Who Wore It Better? Hilary Swank vs. Madeline Brewer, Bella Hadid vs. Devon Windsor, Alison Brie vs. Dua Lipa

Page 14: News in Photos -- Tayshia Adams and her fiance Zac Clark felt on top of the world when the visited the Empire State Building together

Page 15: Chrissy Teigen and John Legend were inseparable while out and about in Beverly Hills, Bill Murray and NFL player Larry Fitzgerald Jr. were among the many stars to shoot their shot during a charity golf tournament in Pebble Beach, Rita Ora performing on an episode of the U.K. show Dancing on Ice in Hertfordshire

Page 16: At the Australian Open Serena Williams came out on top during the fourth round, Bachelorette alum Jordan Kimball and fiancee Christina Creedon couldn't wait until they got home to enjoy Candy Pop popcorn's new Peanut M&M's flavor from Sam's Club in Houston, Heidi Montag spent the day hitting the slopes at Lake Tahoe

Page 17: Hailey Bieber starring in Beyonce's new Ivy Park x Adidas collection

Page 18: Brody Jenner had a blast snow tubing while shooting the second season of The Hills: New Beginnings in Lake Tahoe, Avril Lavigne stepped out with her new boyfriend Mod Sun for a romantic dinner in West Hollywood

Page 20: Justin Bieber looked like he'd just hopped out of bed in a sweater and checkered fleece pants in L.A., Robin Thicke in front of a piano in L.A.

Page 21: Steve Martin doubled up on face coverings on the set of his new project Only Murders in the Building in NYC, Michelle Obama on her new show Waffles + Michi, Cardi B spoiled herself with high-end goods during a day of shopping on Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills

Page 22: Brooke Burke romancing with boyfriend Scott Rigsby on Valentine's Day, Lucy Hale accessorized her look with her newest rescue pup Ethel in L.A., Jessica Lange and Susan Sarandon masked up for a snowy outing in NYC

Page 24: For Galentine's Day Vanessa Lachey snacked on macarons and sipped on wine in L.A.

Page 25: Bella Hadid alongside models Mayowa Nicholas and Heejung Park in Michael Kors' new campaign for the Spring 2021 collection, Hugh Grant stepped out for some fresh hair in London, Sofia Vergara kept it casual during a visit to a pal's house in Beverly Hills

Page 26: Inside My Home -- Katherine Heigl and Josh Kelley's Rocky Mountain retreat

Page 28: Marriage isn't easy especially during a global health crisis but for Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard divorce is not an option -- Kristen said she and Dax at the start of the pandemic were at a point in their marriage where they definitely needed a little therapy brush-up and every couple of years they're being very antagonistic towards each other and they don't want that so they go back to therapy and figure out how they can serve their team goal better and it's been incredibly helpful and even in the toughest times they always have each other's back and they're committed to being each other's biggest support systems -- while their relationship may never be perfect, they're happy and love each other and that's what matters most

Page 29: Now that Tom Brady has won his seventh Super Bowl with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, he has set his sights on the next prize: baby No. 3 with wife Gisele Bundchen -- they've been telling friends they hope to make an announcement by summer at the latest and Tom and Gisele have been super loved-up since leaving Boston and moving to Florida after the QB signed on with the Bucs and the change of scenery has worked wonders on their love life and put them in baby-making mode -- the duo, who recently bought a $17 million spread on Miami's exclusive Indian Creek Island, plan to build a luxury mansion there complete with a nursery and they hope to be all settled in when the new arrival comes -- they've never felt healthier or been happier

* Aaron Rodgers looked positively giddy when he revealed he had a fiancee, Shailene Woodley at the NFL Honors, but the QB is dreading the next step: bringing her home to meet his parents because it's no secret that Aaron's been estranged from them for years and the last thing he wants is for Shailene to get caught up in the drama -- Shailene wants Aaron to clear the air with his folks, but he's not ready to do that and he doesn't want to bring Shailene into a toxic environment

* It's only been two years since Miranda Lambert married Brendan McLoughlin but she's already itching for some alone time -- she's headed to Texas in April for her first concert in over a year and she's told Brendan he shouldn't come because it will be all work and no play but she really wants to get away from him for a while and after the pair's recent road trip together, Miranda is desperate for some space -- sometimes Miranda feels like she's living with a baby because Brendan whines and complains about life on her farm

Page 30: Kourtney Kardashian and Travis Barker's romance is heating up fast, so much so that she's practically handed over the keys to her Calabasas estate and she loves having Travis sleep over and sometimes he'll stay the whole weekend -- he gets along famously with her children and Travis has been a friend of the family for years, so the kids have pretty much known him their whole lives and they'll do fun stuff together like hiking or playing video games and Travis loves making breakfast and showing off his pancake-flipping skills --Travis is spending so much time at Kourt's place that he's moved a bunch of his stuff in to make it easier for his kids Landon and Alabama with ex Shanna Moakler to visit him there -- everyone's convinced they'll be living together full-time before you know it

* Prince Harry and Meghan Markle were met with a flurry of well-wishes after they revealed they're expecting baby No. 2 -- the couple decided to wait until Meghan was safely into her second trimester to share the news and they only told a handful of family members before the public and they wanted to cherish this secret for as long as they could -- Harry and Meghan have been nesting at their Montecito mansion and have been busy prepping the nursery and making sure it's eco-friendly with energy-efficient lighting and they're keeping it as plastic-free as possible

* Love Bites -- Clare Crawley and Dale Moss reunited, Kit Harington and Rose Leslie welcomed a baby boy, Paris Hilton and Carter Reum engaged

Page 32: Cover Story -- Bruce Springsteen's private world -- he's an open book in his songs, but here's Bruce's untold story of his struggles with depression and regret -- he still has dark thoughts from time to time but therapy and medication have helped a great deal

Page 36: Stars' Cheating Confessions -- sometimes all you can do is beg for forgiveness; these celebs have all had to plead their case -- Donny and Debbie Osmond, Jude Law and Sienna Miller, Jada Pinkett Smith and Will Smith

Page 37: David Letterman and Regina Lasko, Dean McDermott and Tori Spelling, Kevin Hart and Eniko Parrish

Page 40: Interview -- Elizabeth Olsen -- the Avengers star dishes about getting witchy again for Marvel's mind-bending WandaVision

Page 42: Golden Girls -- how these Golden Globes nominees get their award-worthy figures -- Anya Taylor-Joy, Nicole Kidman, Lily Collins

Page 43: Kaley Cuoco, Michelle Pfeiffer, Amanda Seyfried

Page 44: Aadila Dosani's vegan recipe for Chickpea and Potato Soup

Page 46: Style Week -- Ashley Graham is the new global brand ambassador for self-tanning label St. Tropez

Page 48: What's Hot Right Now -- create a naturally gorgeous, flushed look with fashion designer Jason Wu's namesake makeup collection

Page 49: Haute hippie retro jeans -- take a trip back to the '70s with Revice Denim's ultra-cool capsule, Los Angeles Lovers -- Delilah Belle Hamlin

Page 50: Flower Power -- floral prints are spring's hottest trend -- rock the pretty blooms for a fresh, boho-chic look -- Kaia Gerber

Page 52: DIY Blowout -- these foolproof finds deliver impeccable hair right at home -- Drew Barrymore

Page 54: Entertainment

Page 55: Q&A with Mary Fitzgerald of Selling Sunset

Page 58: Buzz -- after months of playing it coy, these celebs confirmed their relationships on Valentine's Day -- Scott Disick and Amelia Hamlin

Page 59: Vanessa Hudgens and Cole Tucker, Sharna Burgess and Brian Austin Green, Kourtney Kardashian and Travis Barker, Kendall Jenner and Devin Booker

Page 60: Sound Bites -- Halsey on not conforming to conventional beauty standards, Anderson Cooper on coparenting with his ex, Ashley Graham on the importance of self-care, Kate Winslet on feeling like a fish out of water in Hollywood

Page 61: Tom Holland on the plot of the next Spider-Man flick, Mila Kunis joking about keeping her family entertained during quarantine, Drew Barrymore when asked if she's ever been skinny-dipping, Madelaine Petsch on playing a teen in Clare at 16

Page 62: Horoscope -- Pisces Lupita Nyong'o turned 38 on March 1

Page 64: By the Numbers -- Riz Ahmed

[roswelldetails]

Episode 202: Ladies and Gentlemen We Are Floating In Space - Details

EPISODE SUMMARY:

Liz (Jeanine Mason) is forced to put her latest experiment on hold after Rosa (Amber Midthunder) begins to struggle with her new life in Roswell. Reluctant to face the truth about his mother’s past, Michael (Michael Vlamis) turns his attention to helping Maria (Heather Hemmens), who is dealing with her own family crisis. Elsewhere, Isobel (Lily Cowles) agrees to join her mother for a day of spiritual healing to keep herself distracted. Finally, Rosa turns to Kyle (Michael Trevino) to learn the truth about what really happened the night she died. Tyler Blackburn and Trevor St. John also star. Lance Anderson directed the episode written by Eva McKenna (#202.) Original airdate 3/23/2020.

DETAILS:

Secret lab is in an Indian Boarding School that was shut down. The Air Force bought it. It's been empty for 40 years (i.e., since approx. 1979). Part of Alex's job is to monitor it.

Security was set up by Alex’s team. They follow orders and don’t ask questions. (But that also means other soldiers know about it.)

Max's password was password. 🙄

Liz lies to Rosa. "It was beautiful. The whole town came. Everyone joined in the rosario. Mom sang Las Golondrinas. Dad wanted you in a white dress but I insisted on your Live Through This t-shirt."

According to: https://blog.sevenponds.com/cultural-perspectives/tradition-spanish-funeral “Nine days after the death, the family holds a ceremony known as a “rosario.” It consists of candles, flowers, prayers and sharing memories of the person who has died. The rosario also takes place every year on the anniversary of the person’s death.”

Las Golondrinas

Rosa Nightmare #1… unclear when it started since it flowed directly from her on the couch, doing graffiti around town, seeing her dad. Assuming it starts when she goes to the Wild Pony, pours herself a drink, hesitates, and then Max appears.

Max and Rosa's exchange:.

"What are you waiting for? You have to stop Liz. Tell her she can't bring me back, Rosa."

"Why? Why don't you want her to save you?"

"I can't take it anymore. Just end it."

"They'll figure it out. They'll save you."

"I can't wait that long. It's like burning alive from inside."

"She's never going to stop trying."

"Then you have to stop her. Please!"

Rosa wants her sketchbook from the bookshelf in their room. (Later in the episode when she breaks in we see that the bookshelf is empty. Liz cleared out Rosa's things in 1x07.)

Rosa's old email everunclear@yahoo.com (90s music reference to the band Everclear).

Michael is experimenting by blow torching a piece of alien ship.

Apparently it was Lindsay (of Hank and Lindsay) that Michael made out with. Seeing as it's only been a month since Hank died (2 weeks passed in 2x01, Maria says in 2x02 that her mom has been missing for 2 weeks), and the big guy was pissed about Michael making out with her, she moves on pretty quickly!

Maria is meeting with a private detective.

Science babble! "Human tissue can obviously regenerate from stem cells. With the right methodology I could use your blood (Isobel) to make adjustments for alien physiology. I have to monitor exactly when cell degradation begins, down to the second. I can't miss it. Eight hours before I need to be back.

Michael is developing nanotechnology to make the transplant possible. "It's like replacing parts in a broken machine."

They harvested all of Noah’s primary organs. "I have his body parts in jars."

Isobel steals what looks like an empty syringe. But at the end of the episode she has the serum in it.

New brand of fake beer! (Last season it was always Copper black lager. Now it's Hunks and Heroes Lager! Broken bottles were on the ground in the cemetery, Wyatt Long is carrying a bottle at the beginning of the scene when he and Michael fight (which could tie him to the graffiti on Rosa's grave), and also has a bottle in front of him on his YouTube video.

Michael is holding a bag from Milikan Value Hardware Store.

Flint's report on Caulfield: "Shepherd Protocol was activated. Bodies were disposed of without incident. Local papers ran an item confirming that the long-scheduled demolition of the prison was a success."

Exchange between Jesse and Flint:

"Dad, I don't think we should have covered it up. People should know."

"Do you have any idea what would happen if we confirmed that alien specimens were once housed at Caulfield but are now suddenly gone? It'd be dismissed as fake news. Buried by a racist tweet within seconds. No, we need to make a bigger statement."

"'Cause justice can't be served until after disaster has struck."

"That's right."

Really don't want to transcribe the racist rant from Wyatt Long that Rosa watches, although I will if y'all demand it. I don't think it's relevant beyond Rosa learning the truth. However as a detail I want to note, the video is titled BUILD THE WALL! IN MEMORY OF KATE LONG and it's dated September 3, 2010 (so 2 years and a few months after they died). Amusing side note. The comments on the video. Great fake usernames:

fayhuman: Kate Long didn't deserve what happened.

Curious Murphy: I just donated to the cause!!

thecyberwitch48: is this really the best solution?

Isobel’s baby is at 5 weeks, the size of a lentil.

Isobel calls Ann "Mama". Good note for fic writers! 😉

Maria's class: "Woman as Warrior: Strength Training for the Mind, Body, and Spirit."

Under the Bridge - same location as in 1x03 where Liz finds Rosa's paint canister.

Maria's cards:

Maria DeLuca

Psychic Reader

Spirit Leader

Social Media Revitalizer

Great line: "The infinite reservoir of strength and healing within us all" 😂👏

Rosa's chart…

"What's this error here?"

"Must be a contaminated sample."

"No way. I'm meticulous."

Steph says regarding the error on Rosa’s test “Congrats. Looks like you just discovered a protein never before found in the human body. Or you didn't get the Flamin' Hot orange dust off your hands when you scrubbed in. Whichever's most likely."

Michael to Liz, "I was working. I went home to find formulas I worked out years ago…"

Rosa is reciting Niebuhr's Serenity Prayer, which is commonly used by AA and other 12 step programs.

Noah was struck by lightning directly in the heart.

Isobel’s moment of epiphany:

"Using your newfound goddess strength I want you to get up and throw your fear into the fire. Set yourself free. You're a warrior. You aren't afraid of anything. Draw upon your feminine power. Why are you hesitating, Isobel? The sooner you throw your paper in the fire the sooner you can leave."

"Look, it's not that simple, okay? I can't just throw this into the fire." Maria gasps and rubs her chest, similar to how she did when she realized her necklace was missing at the beginning in 1x10) "I'm trapped.

Ann: "This is my fault. I put too much pressure on you."

"It's nobody's fault. It's just here."

Maria: "Whatever it is, you can choose to set yourself free. Say it. 'Say I choose to set myself free.'"

"I choose to set myself free."

Maria: "Louder."

"I choose to set myself free."

Rosa breaks into the Crashdown. It mirrors her first nightmare in 2x01, but it's not a dream. She goes to her room, sees the empty bookshelf, goes to the closet, and snags a hidden bottle of tequila.

Camera lingers on Steph stuffing a bottle of nail polish remover in her purse. Note: she was actually doing her nails.

Michael and Alex's conversation mostly mirrors the information we learned from the file in last week's episode. She wasn't caught until October 1948 and the crash was June 1947. She was the last alien captured and admitted into Caulfield. Alex thinks people in Roswell might have known her.

Liz says that the accident never made sense to her because when Rosa was 12, Mamma Ortecho drove drunk with Liz and Rosa in the car, hit a bike, and flipped the car. Rosa told Mamma Ortecho that she would kill her if she ever drove drunk with Liz in the car again.

Rosa's tequila brand: Blistering Rose.

Rosa’s 2nd Nightmare: Rosa runs into the cave and starts beating on the pod. When she hits it, it sounds like metal (which doesn't seem like it would make sense given what we know about the pods).

Her conversation with Max:

"Leave me alone, you dick!"

"I am so much pain, Rosa."

"Oh really? So is everybody. Man up."

"Have some mercy. I saved your life."

"My life is gone. My mom bailed, I can't talk to my dad, my entire town hates me, and my sweet little sister is somebody that I don't even know. But I do know that she'll save you. She's gonna fix you and until then, leave me alone."

"I'd Liz won't stop then you have to do it. Go to the pod, pull me out, and walk away. You won't be killing me, Rosa. I'm already dead."

"I said no. Leave me alone."

"As long as that handprint is on you I can reach you."

"Fine. I'm an expert at quieting voices."

"No. Rosa, wait. Don't do anything stupid."

"I never dreamed when I was using."

MUSIC:

1. Oasis "Wonderwall"

2. Gord Bamford "#Rednek"

3. Hamish Anderson "Trouble"

4. Radiohead "High And Dry"

[pbandjesse]

Today didn't go exactly as planned but it was a really good day. This was a nice little vacation. I didn't spend to much money and i feel really happy. Im sitting in my hotel relaxing and enjoying my night. Im really looking forward to going home though. I miss my cat and my apartment and my boyfriend.

I slept really well last night. I woke up with the sun and I was so cozy with my feather pillows abd blankets. I stayed in bed until 830. Playing on my phone. Being comfy. It was really nice.

I got up and got washed. My makeup looked great. I felt really cute. It was a bit colder today but it was still beautiful. I had breakfast in the hotel's restaurant. I listened to my podcast and just wanted a chill morning.

I got my backpack and headed out into the world. I tried to walk out of the parking lot from the back side and i got turned around and while the veiws were beautiful I was annoyed with myself for going the wrong way.

I walked up to a local park that has a small museum on the property. But it was closed. Thats okay. I kept walking. Then I decided I would go to the Garden of the World. A private park that is set up to emulate different cultural landscapes. Cool.

I walked up to a 711 to make it easier for a lyft to find me. And I got there in less then 15 minutes. California is funny. It would have taken me 2 hours to walk to this place but it was a less then 15 minute drive. Everywhere has been like that. Its bizzare.

But we get out there and its closed. Until 1. Okay im bummed but its fine. Not a huge deal. I walked around that area and found a neat little store and got myself a hair clip that I have had on my wish list for a while. And I got Jess a present. I still had like a half hour until I needed to be at the meeting thing. So I walked.

I ended up finding a really awesome Portuguese cafe and I got their signature pastry which was essentially a warm baked pudding. Almost like a creme brullee. It was great. When I was done I called a car and headed to the meeting.

The gps got confused and me and my driver had some trouble finding the building. But we did it and I was on time. The lady at the front desk wasnt very nice to me. I told her what I was there for. Who I was supposed to meet. And she just said. I dont know what that is is who that is. And i tried to show her my itinerary and she snapped at me. And I was about to get upset but someone leaned over the wall and figured out what was going on and solved the problem. Thank you nice lady.

The meeting was funny. When they asked me to do it they said it would be about 10 to 15 people. And that was fine. But when I got there today it was only one person. Well the one person and the person running the meeting. I don't know what happened but it was funny to me. Like I still had a good time and it was nice to talk to them both butt they spent $300 a night for this hotel for me. And they flew me across the country. And it was only one person. We could have done this over Skype guys. Like I'm not going to turn down what has been a really nice couple days but it was just pretty funny.

I told you my story. I told him about my art and my history. Medication and trials and errors. Insurance issues and finding a doctor. All the scary parts that go around being a patient. Even though it was only the one person I was talking to I really hope that my story can be impactful enough that she will really understand when she's out trying to get doctors to carry this medication and to prescribe it to people that it's a big deal. And financially it's a lot. That just because it works doesn't mean that everyone can take it. It's not just about filling a prescription with this kind of thing. There's a lot that goes into it.

But it was a really nice hour. I was there until about 1 and then I went to call the car and head to my next thing. It was funny while I was sitting outside waiting for the car a guy walked past me and told me it was too cold for me to be sitting out there. And I'm not going to deny it wasn't chilly. But it was still about 55°. It was funny people were walking around and basically winter coats. And I had a sweater and a jacket on. I didn't even have double tights on! It was beautiful. Californians art week.

I took the lift up to the Thousand Oaks Mall. According to the internet there is a branch of the California Art Museum there. Cool. I decided to just wander the mall for a while first. It's a nice small. Have an indoor and outdoor apart. Lots of pretty fountains. I walked around the Disney Store and I'll look for new shoes. Because the shoes I wore are killing my feet. They will not be travel shoes ever again. I didn't have any luck with shoes but I was enjoying just walking around. And then finally I found the branch of the museum. Was to galleries. Except they were closed for a private event. Awesome. I was pretty dejected. This was now the third thing I had been to today that was closed. I went and sat down and called James. I just needed to talk out my feelings because I was feeling stupid.

He made me feel better though. I think I was starting to feel like other people were going to think I wasted my trip. Like I didn't go to the beach and I didn't see a ton of things. But I don't actually feel bad. I had a great time. I walked around. I cried at mountains. I bought little Trinkets and got to see a bunch of antique stores. I decided while we we're talkin that I would go back to the gardens of the world. It said it would be open to the public again at 1. And it was about 2:30. So that's what I did.

First though I decided to buy myself a present. I know it's just a couple days after my birthday and I said I would stop by myself things but I was a little upset and I bought myself a stuffed lion from the Japanese store. And I love him so much. He's so soft and he's slightly under-filled. He's just perfect. So I don't feel bad about my purchase at all. He's great. His name is Daniel.

Once I bought my lion I wandered out of the mall in search of the Goodwill that I read was on the other side of the mom. I did find it. It was a pretty good Goodwill but I didn't find anything I wanted. I was mostly looking at shoes anyway. There was a very cute bear shaped rocking horse and a small Hello Kitty car for toddlers. But I wanted to get to the gardens. And they were only open till 5. I didn't know how big they were and I didn't want to feel rushed so I called a car.

This is the first time ever I had that was chatty. He was really nice and asked me all about my life story. And we talked all the way until we got to the gardens and then dropped me off. It was nice.

The gardens were beautiful. Free to the public. Privately owned by an elderly couple. They had apparently owned a travel agency and when they sold it they decided to take their millions of dollars and open this 44-acre public garden. It was amazing. Completely privately funded.

I wasn't sure if I was allowed to take pictures. There are a couple signs that said stuff about like photographers and that you need a permit but I wasn't sure if they were talking about like pictures of people like wedding photos and then I saw one sign that said something about cell phones but I was confused so I only took a couple pictures on the down low. Just in case. It was mostly empty. A couple small groups besides me. I walked the whole ground and it was beautiful. There was a section that look like an English garden and one that looks like an Italian Villa with Italian cypresses in a fountain. Lots of fountains. Each little cultural section had a water feature. The Japanese pagoda was really pretty and it was just so nice. I walked it twice. The first time around just kind of sneaking pictures of my Furby and enjoying the quiet. It was a little cooler and clouds were rolling in but it was still very nice. I got to see a lemon growing on a tree for the first time in my entire life. That was really cool. And then I found a volunteer. He was a really nice guy. I asked him to tell me all about the gardens and he did and then I told him where I was from and got to tell him about ships and he turned out to be a volunteer at the Reagan Library. So that was cool meeting another Museum professional. And so I walked it one more time and really enjoyed myself. And then I headed out. I wanted to see what else I could do with my day.

When I had left from the gardens the first time I had made a left. So this time I made a right I walked and walked and then I was just too tired to walk anymore. And I really lucked out because as soon as I call the car it started to drizzle. And then it started to rain. Thankfully I was right next to a Starbucks and they had an umbrella outside so I didn't get all wet. And my driver was very fast. But I got in the car and it started pouring.

I have the car take me up to the Target. And the rain had started to Peter out by then. But it went into Target and I found some sneakers. They have memory foam insoles. And they're very comfy. I also got a juice that is fine but kind of grassy tasting. And then we just walked around the shopping center. I went and all the little stores. Enjoyed the scenery. I was kind of on the top of a hill and I could see the mountains on all the sides and it was just so pretty. I don't know what it is about the mountains here but they make me want to cry when I stare at them for too long. I just find them so beautiful. It's different than the ocean which causes a different reaction in me. If I had another day I would probably try to get out to one of the mountains again like I did last time I was here. But It's okay that I didn't do that this time. I'm a little too sore from all the other walking I did to get lost in the mountains where I can't call a car when I run out of steam.

I just had to get something to eat and was a little frustrated because I couldn't find just like a grilled cheese sandwich anywhere. But I ended up at a brewery in the shopping center that was really cool on the inside. I liked the big silver Brewing machine things. And the food was good. My waitress was really nice. And I just listen to my podcast and enjoyed myself.

It was really running out of steam though. I thought the food would help but it didn't pick me up as much as I was hoping. I was a little disappointed in myself because I had tried to find the postcards or something to give as gifts to people. And I just completely failed. I couldn't find anywhere that sold anything like that. Thousand Oaks isn't really a tourist destinations they only have anyting. And so I kind of wandered around the shops longer to try to see if I can find anything similar to that. But I didn't have any luck. I'm hoping maybe tomorrow at the airport I can find a couple things but I'm not holding out hope. Because I have assumed it's going to be incredibly expensive if I can find anything at all. We'll see. I was trying not to be too hard on myself though. No one's going to be mad at me. Even though I'm afraid that they will be.

But like I said I was getting really tired. I went back to the Target one more time just to see if I can maybe find any California type stuff there but like I said Thousand Oaks isn't really a tourist place so no luck. I tried on a sweater and then I just decided it was time to go back to the hotel. I caught a car and then I got back and I was very happy to be here.

I ran a bath and I'm packed my bag. Started packing my actual suitcase bag. I might have to use both backpacks. I haven't exactly figured out that part yet. But I'm not that concerned. My bath was really nice. I got a bloody nose while I was in there but it wasn't too bad. Mostly just surprised me. Put away things and put my outfit out for tomorrow. I packed what I could. Put all my receipts in one bag. And now I'm just kind of sitting here and watching videos. I'm going to go to sleep soon though. I'm really tired and I got to wake up early to get the ride to the airport. They're coming to pick me up at I think 8:15. My flight is in two parts. I think I'm flying to Chicago and then from Chicago to Baltimore. I'm not positive it's Chicago though. Wherever it is I have an hour and a half there so I get to at least get a snack if not dinner. It's going to be a long day though. I don't get back to Baltimore until about 10 p.m. and then I work Friday morning at 9 at ships. So that's like a whole thing. Pussy town Much sleep I can get on the airplane but I'm not holding out hope. I hope you guys all have a great night. Wish me luck tomorrow. It's going to be a long travel day. I'm really excited to be in the same city as my boyfriend and my cat. Though I am a little sad I missed the snow storm today I'm glad that it's not going to affect my flight tomorrow. I hope it's just a really nice day. Sleep well everyone.

[seekfirstme]

The following reflection is courtesy of Don Schwager © 2021. Don's website is located at Dailyscripture.net

Meditation: Who doesn't have debts they need to pay off! And who wouldn't be grateful to have someone release them from their debts? But can we really expect mercy and pardon when we owe someone a great deal? When the people of Israel sinned and rebelled against God, God left them to their own devices until they repented and cried out to him for mercy. The Book of Daniel in the Old Testament recounts the story of Daniel and his three young friends, Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah, who were sent into exile from Jerusalem to Babylon. When the King of Babylon threw Daniel's three friends into the fiery furnace, they cried out to God to have mercy not only on themselves, but to have mercy upon all his people. "Do not put us to shame, but deal with us in your forbearance and in your abundant mercy" (Daniel 3:19-43).

The prophet Jeremiah reminds us that God's "mercies never come to an end - they are new every morning" (Lamentations 3:22-23). God gives grace to the humble and he shows mercy to those who turn to him for healing and pardon.

We owe God a debt we could never repay

God's mercy towards each one of us shows us the way that God wants each one of us to be merciful towards one another. When Peter posed the question of forgiveness and showing mercy to one's neighbor, he characteristically offered an answer he thought Jesus would be pleased with. Why not forgive your neighbor seven times! How unthinkable for Jesus to counter with the proposition that one must forgive seventy times that. Jesus made it clear that there is no reckonable limit to mercy and pardon. And he drove the lesson home with a parable about two very different kinds of debts. The first man owed an enormous sum of money - millions in our currency. In Jesus' time this amount was greater than the total revenue of a province - more than it would cost to ransom a king! The man who was forgiven such an incredible debt could not, however bring himself to forgive his neighbor a very small debt which was about one- hundred-thousandth of his own debt. The contrast could not have been greater!

Jesus paid the price in full for our guilt and condemnation

Paul the Apostle tells us that "the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Romans 6:23). There is no way we could repay God the debt we owed him because of our sins and offenses. Only his mercy and pardon could free us from such a debt. There is no offense our neighbor can do to us that can compare with our debt to God! If God has forgiven each of us our own debt, which was very great, we, too must forgive others the debt they owe us.

Jesus ransomed us from slavery to sin and eternal death

Through Jesus' atoning sacrifice for our sins on the cross, we have been forgiven a debt beyond all reckoning. It cost God his very own Son, the Lord Jesus Christ, to ransom us with the price of his blood. Jesus paid the price for us and won for us pardon for our sins and freedom from slavery to our unruly desires and sinful habits. God in his mercy offers us the grace and help of his Holy Spirit so we can love as he loves, pardon as he pardons, and treat others with the same mercy and kindness which he has shown to us.

True peace with God

God has made his peace with us. Have you made your peace with God? If you believe and accept God's love and and pardon for you, then you likewise must choose to be merciful towards those who are in debt to you. Are you ready to forgive and to make peace with your neighbor as God has made peace with you?

"Lord, make me an instrument of your peace. Where there is hatred let me sow love. Where there is injury let me sow pardon. Where there is doubt let me sow faith. Where there is despair let me give hope. Where there is darkness let me give light. Where there is sadness let me give joy. (Prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi, 1181-1226) "

The following reflection is from One Bread, One Body courtesy of Presentation Ministries © 2021.

FIRE AND ICE

“In the fire Azariah stood up and prayed aloud.” —Daniel 3:25

Lent is the imitation of Jesus’ forty days in the desert (Mt 4:1ff). It is a desert experience in which we undergo “a trial by fire” (1 Pt 4:12). In the midst of the flames, we are tempted to grumble against the Lord or blame other people for our trials. We must overcome these temptations and stand up in the fire to pray as Azariah did (Dn 3:25). By faith, we must face the harsh realities of our lives, repent of our sins, and commit ourselves to follow the Lord “unreservedly...with our whole heart” (Dn 3:40-41).

The fire of Lent should result in the commitment of Easter. We must not let trials turn us away from the Lord but rather to Him. “We know that affliction makes for endurance, and endurance for tested virtue, and tested virtue for hope. And this hope will not leave us disappointed, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts” (Rm 5:3-5).

Therefore, “count it pure joy when you are involved in every sort of trial. Realize that when your faith is tested this makes for endurance. Let endurance come to its perfection so that you may be fully mature and lacking in nothing” (Jas 1:2-4). We thank the Lord for the heat and fire of the desert. It is only through this we can rise from the cold of the grave.

Prayer:  Father, may I stand up in the fire and praise You.

Promise:  “Good and upright is the Lord; thus He shows sinners the way.” —Ps 25:8

Praise:  St. Frances desired to be a nun but her parents selected a young nobleman as her husband. Through God’s providence, her sister-in-law also had a heart for service. Together they helped the poor. She was an exemplary wife, religious sister and mother superior.

Reference:  (The Gospel of Luke is rich with examples of the role women played in the life of Jesus. Explore the dynamic way Jesus interacts with the women in His life. Join us for Women in the Gospel of Luke, a retreat on Mar. 19-20. Call 513-373-2397 or register at www.presentationministries.com.)

Rescript:  "In accord with the Code of Canon Law, I hereby grant the Nihil Obstat for One Bread, One Body covering the period from February 1, 2021 through March 31, 2021. Most Reverend Joseph R. Binzer, Auxiliary Bishop, Vicar General, Archdiocese of Cincinnati, Cincinnati, Ohio March 31, 2020"

The Nihil Obstat ("Permission to Publish") is a declaration that a book or pamphlet is considered to be free of doctrinal or moral error. It is not implied that those who have granted the Nihil Obstat agree with the contents, opinions, or statements

[iamperfectlyimperfect]

Sam...

Nov 20th:  I was doing the normal online dating thing...  I hit a wall... got tired of the way guys were talking to me. I changed my mind set. I am only going to swipe guys that I feel have FULL potential! I swiped one person that night. 

Four days later I was just about to delete the apps because I couldn't stand it any more and I matched with the one guy I had swiped in 4 days you know the one with the cute dimples. The moment we matched I told him I was deleting my dating profile and he should snap me. The other guys I was talking to.... I stopped. There was no one I wanted to invest my time in.

Nov 27th He doesn't text a lot so it's been pretty slow. I am loving getting to know as much about him as I can. His dimples! Omg his dimples. I'm in trouble. I'm definitely attracted to him. He has a positive energy about him. He is insightful. So far a good listener and engages in conversation. Even says supportive things. He is respectful of me. Respectful in the way he talks to me. I love the fact that he understands working in yourself. We can have real conversation about growth and challenges. Just supporting one another keep positive and keep going.

Nov 28th We had a "virtual date" kind of... I was watching the fight with Todd. I live streamed the Tyson fight so sam could watch it. Because he couldn't get it at home.. But honestly it made my night. To spend that time with him. Laughing together from miles apart. His smile makes me smile and I love it. Ugh I really like his energy. Not many people work as much as I do. but It could be fun! 

** I am doing this whole manifesting thing so here goes it lol!  “He is going to be the one and I never have to be broken hearted ever again. Wish me luck 🙏 😅** 

He said we could get together on Friday!

Well... It’s Friday the 4th! I am so excited. Like the tension between us is pretty intense. I don’t normally hook up really quick only but holy shit. I want him! I don't know I guess we will see what the night brings. I just want to know more about him. He is really busy so I don’t know a lot! but I want to know more! 

Later Friday night! well umm... I'm either getting stood up or he is stuck at work. We were suppose to connect at 7. Its now 8:30 and I am sitting here starting to feel shitty.... I am all dressed up, looking cute and he has not text. I don't want to be the 1st one to text but I could go out to a friends if I found out right now we are not getting together. I will wait a little while... 

Okay, it’s 9:30 I am texting. 

He is not standing me up on purpose he is stuck at work. It takes 30 seconds to say that. So that respect would have been nice to know 2 hours ago...  I'm sad... really bummed actually.  He asked for a rain check for Monday. Monday can’t come soon enough!  I thoroughly enjoyed our conversation after work. I don't think he will be standing me up again any time soon... :) 

Saturday the 5th This smile never goes away. I have not even met him yet. But I cant get him out of my head. How do I miss someone I have not met. I want to kiss him. I want him to kiss me. 10 minutes video calls with him make my heart melt. I can't wait to met him.

Monday might just come sooner then I thought! He asked If I wanted to come hang out around 3. Umm YES! 

It was everything I wanted and more. He is just as adorable as in his pictures. I could stare at him for hours. Snuggling in his arms was the only place I wanted to be. ugh the way he kissed me and looked at me!*everything else was pretty amazing too*

I asked when do I get to see you again. He said he would look at his days off and get back to me. I didn't want to ask again. so I didn't... 3 days went by... Then 4 & 5 days. His texts got fewer and fewer. It was a crazy day at work! Even if It was just a night after work snuggled on the couch I would be fine with that. I had such a rewarding week and I just wanted to share my days with someone but he never called he never asked.  Some nights he wouldn't even text when he got home from work. It takes 2.5 seconds to text good morning. And 5 seconds to send any text out of 86000 seconds in a day. 

By Wednesdays I knew this was not going anywhere. It was 11 he has not text or called but he was off work. so I tired to video call him. I got an error that he was on another video call. Instantly my heart sank and I decided it was time for bed. 

Thursdays even though I knew what was going on, I didn't want to believe it. So I went about the day like I normally do. giving him text updates along the way. So badly just wanting anyone to give a shit about my day. I just want someone to share life with. Towards the end of the day I changed gears over to I want you texts. Different ways to put a smile on his face. He never texts back so that was at no surprise. And some times he get off around midnight so I sat checking my phone every 5 minutes... by 12:30 I had accepted he didn't care. by 1:30 I was hurt because he was online. So I text a simple “you suck” I was up all night thinking of what to say or how to say it. telling him how fucked up it is not not text back. like what a douche bag thing to do. If you are not interested then just say it. why waste my time. why lead me on. I made excuses for him, being understanding of his routine. Being understanding of the fact he works so much. Just no. 

I woke up to a “mernin” text for the 1st time all week... Here we go. Go ahead and tell me the things you should have said 3 days ago when you made up your mind that I was not what you were looking for. Tell me it’s you and not me. Tell me that you are you and not willing to change. You know the worst thing about recovering addicts, is that they believe their own bullshit and they think you are stupid as fuck. I grew up in the rooms. My mom is an addict. My dad is a recovering addict of 23 years before he died.  I am 100% in support of recovery, Routine and you time. Means I would have a routine and me time. I am even more in support of how much you work. Because there is no one that works as much as me. That's what I liked the most. Positive, encouragement to just "do better, be better." Is my life right now.

You could have not said anything at all today. because your silence last night was enough! All you said is exactly what I already knew. It’s not that you wont change. It’s that I’m not enough to make you want to change and you are already looking for the next best thing. It’s ok. I'm a big girl I am use to it. I’m Fine. My dad said it best “I can pick an addict out of a crowd and that is who I am going to fall in love with.”

Do you want me to accept this or call you out on your bullshit. Either way it doesn't matter to me. I mean I could choose to be nice just so I can still fuck you for a while. ** After thought, No if you will please block my number. If I call... don't answer. Shouldn't be there hard for you. As hard as I love, is the same as I hurt.

He told me that i needed to chill... that this is the drama he was talking about yet its been 3 days of him saying he was gonna call and we would talk about this. How understanding do you think a girl can be when she is confused and disrespected. Hurt and feeling like garbage. When if you would just tell her that your not interested the horrible feeling would go away and she could start to move on. But your gonna tell me "I'm all over the place rn" because your a douchebag that won't give me the respect of a 10 minute phone call to stop my mind from racing. Thank you for the emotional roller coaster, treating me like I never mattered to begin with, Making me feel worthless, but I do appreciate you showing me now instead of later. To begging with would have been better. ps. FUCK YOU MY HEART WAS IN THE RIGHT PLACE MY INTENTION WERE PURE AND ITS YOUR LOSS NOT MINE!