#why did you need a whole separate translation of the show

[tabslabs]

Almost done with my Wakfu rewatch so I went to pull up Dofus since I plan on watching it next… they took down all the eps with subs and put them all back up without any subs… not English not French just no subs. AUGH

They have autogenerated captions but with all their little fantasy names that’s clearly not going to work well.

[druigs-wife]

IN AMADO || NAMOR X FEM!READER

MARVEL CINEMATIC UNIVERSE || ONE SHOT

summary: after months of separation, namor visits and shows you how important you are to him.

warnings: MINORS DNI, smut, penetration (mxf), oral (f&m receiving), slight angst, wakanda forever spoilers

word count: 2.2K

A/N: translations: in yakunaj ~ my love, in lool ~ my flower, in reina ~ my queen, in amado ~ my beloved

Every six months you and Namor meet on the beach nearby your house. It was already your tradition. No matter how much he wants you to come and live with him in his kingdom and be his only, it wasn't possible.

Yesterday he didn't show up for unknown reasons, as you two had agreed half a year earlier. You did the same as the day before, you sat down on the soft sand in the light of the full moon and patiently waited for your beloved one to come to the surface. Seconds, minutes and hours passed. It was midnight and there was no sign of him. He was never so late. Something must have happened. What if he was hurt in some way? What if you won't see him again? With those dark thoughts a single tear ran down your cheek, but you wiped it immediatly. He could give at least some sign that he is okay, that he is safe and that he still loves you. Why didn't he do that?

It was getting colder on the beach. The waves in the Atlantic Ocean were getting bigger and the wind stronger, sweeping your hair back. Your body started shaking but you were stubborn. This time, you won't let go and keep waiting, even until the dawn. You got up from the ground and started walking towards the cabin where you lived to take a blanket with you back to the beach to cover yourself and warm up. However, as you turned your back to the ocean, you heard a familiar and calm voice.

"In yakunaj, wait..." you immediately turned towards him and looked into his cholocate eyes. At a distance, you could sense that he felt guilty.

Without overthinking, you started walking faster towards him. Thanks to his wings he reached the sand and opened his arms where you found yourself a moment later. He could only hug you even tighter so that you wouldn't be able to run away from him.

"I thought something happened to you. I was losing my mind." you got out of his grip and cupped his wet cheeks in your hands. Your gaze traveled all over his face, but you couldn't find a single scratch. Namor just remained silent and watched you. "You should have let me know you weren't coming, give me a sign, anything." you started shivering more from the cold, he noticed it and started rubbing your arms to keep you warm. "I was worried."

Namor was acting differently than usual, as if something was bothering him. He looked at you with great sadness and regret, but also love and care. You've known each other long enough that you could tell when something was wrong.

"(Y/N) you need to warm up, you're trembling." you nodded slightly, he put his arm around you, and you went home together.

You sat on the wooden floor by the fireplace covered with a blanket and stared at the bright flames. A few moments later, you were awakened from your trance by the sound of creaking panels. Namor joined you, holding cups of something to drink in both hands. He brought you hot tea and for himself only water. He sat down next to you that your bare knees were touching. For the next hour he explained exactly why he hadn't visited you yesterday. The whole world can learn about the existence of the Talokan. You knew how much his kingdom and his people meant to him. Everything. So you weren't surprised what next steps your beloved one would have to make to keep it all a secret from the greedy world.

"Tomorrow morning I will sail to Wakanda with my entire army and put an end to this war." you stared at the already empty cup while listening carefully to what Namor had to say. "I can't let anything happen to Talokan..." he took the cup from you, put it on the ground next to him and wraped your palms together "...and I can't let anything happen to you." you looked at him and a small smile appeared on your face.

"I'm not a threat to them, they don't even know I exist, do they?" he nodded slightly, "So what are you afraid of, in amado?" he smiled gently at the nickname. Only you could call him like that. He brought your hand to his lips and kissed it tenderly.

"I'm afraid that through this stupid war I might lose you, that they can take you away from me, just as I took their queen from them." you sighed heavily amd closed your eyes, leaned a little forward that your foreheads touched.

"And what about you, hmm? Will you come back to me safe and sound? Nobody knows about us... I won't know if you survived or not." you said. You didn't get any answer for the next few moments. All Namor did was leaned back and placed a kiss on your forehead and then on your temple. He put his arm around you and came closer to you than before.

"I give you my word, when I am done with this, I will come to you as soon as I can." Namor gave a few more kisses against your temple. "But if... if anything happens to me, you'll find out just as quickly. You have my word in reina." you looked deep in his eyes. His promise was everything to you at this point.

You finally decided to get closer to him. The tips of your noses touched gently, and your lips was only inches apart. Finally Namor brushed yours hungrily but tenderly. You felt like you hadn't seen each other in ages. You wrapped your arms around his neck and his various necklaces. He, on the other hand, began to run his hands over your hips, waist and higher. As the kiss grew more passionate, you pulled away from him to catch your breath.

"Will you stay with me?" you whispered in his ear and brushed it lightly with your lips. The very gesture made Namor shudder. It was his sensitive point. Taking the opportunity that your neck was more exposed, he didn't waste a single moment and started peppering her with kisses, leaving tiny hickeys on it.

"Only if you want it." your foreheads and eyes meet again. You both were breathing hard. "Do you want me to stay?" you nodded immediately. "I need words in lool." before you spoke, you touched his left ear with your fingertips, then slowly took off his earring and set it on the floor. You did the same on the right side and put your hands on his chest keeping eye contact.

"Stay. Stay with me." Namor smirked broadly and kissed you lovingly, but you quickly broke this gesture because you wanted to get rid of the rest of the jewelry that he didn't need at the moment. With slow movements you removed the necklace after the necklace from his neck. He just watched your every single move carefully. Next were the arms, one jewelry on each of his biceps and on both forearms. You had to move away from him a bit to be able to take off the next ones on his calves "accidentally" touching the wings at his feet. They were also his sweet spot. Namor groaned softly at the contact. He needed you. Right now.

He rose a little and grasped your thighs tightly to be able to lift you up from the floor. Once he was standing on his feet, you wrapped your legs around him on the way to the bedroom. Namor kissing you passionately placed you carefully on the edge of the bed. This time it was he who took the initiative. He began to remove parts of your clothes from you, revealing more and more of your skin. You only stayed in your panties. Without taking his eyes off you, he got up from the bed to take off the last parts of his clothes. He threw his belt and shorts on the floor, freeing his cock and climbed on you again. He kissed your neck and sucked it alternately covering it with hickeys. For a few seconds you felt his cock brush against your thigh. With every second he was getting lower and lower. After a few moments, his lips were on your breasts, he worshiped every inch of your body. He started caressing your nipples, making circles around them with his tongue and sucking them as well. You were already a moaning mess, but you still wanted more. You wanted more of him.

You ran one hand through his black hair, and the other you placed on his shoulder and dug your nails lightly into him. He moaned against your breasts and began to go down. He placed wet kisses on your belly, until he finally reached your thighs. He adores them, so he also left a few hickeys and love bites on them. He looked up at you.

He reached for the fabric of your panties with his fingertips, they were already wet. Namor was waiting for your permission.

"Please..." you moaned softly. With one smooth movement, he pulled the last part of your clothing off you and your whole beautiful body appeared in front of him. Namor was enjoying this view as well as the first time he saw you in all your glory.

"May I?" he asked politely being inches from your folds, putting one leg over his shoulder for better access to your entrance. You felt his warm breath against your skin.

"Yes, in amado. Make love to me, please." at these words Namor immediately began to lick the wetness from your folds, teasing your clit with his nose. You rolled your eyes back at the sensation and lay down completely on the freshly laundered sheets as he dived deeper into your pussy while he was on his knees.

You missed this and couldn't wait to suck his dick until he goes wild. You groaned loudly as his tongue was slightly higher on your wet and aching clit. You were so close, but you wanted this moment last forever, so you tense your muscles and dug your nails into his hair. Namor brought his free hand to his mouth and dipped two fingers in his saliva, then sliding them inside of your pussy. When he felt that you're close, he began to curl them in your sweet spot, to which you replied with more uncontrollable moans of pleasure.

"Cum for me in yakunaj, let me feel you" at his filthy words you came so hard that you arched your spine and your body was shaking with the pleasure your beloved just gave you. When he cleaned your folds, he climbed on top of you and placed a long kiss on your lips. You could feel your own taste. Namor pulled away from you and then you touched his cock and started pumping it slowly.

"Let me worship you, my king." taking the opportunity that he didn't pay enough attencion, you turned the both of you that he was now on his back and you were on top. You did exactly what he did to you. "K'uk'ulkan..." you sighed marking every inch of his body, you slide lower and lower until your mouth was on the tip of his cock. You took it in your hand pumping, licked off his leaking precum and sucked gently on the tip. He propped himself up with his hands so he could see what you were doing to him. He groaned softly and closed his eyes with the excess of pleasure. Namor put his hand on your head and started fucking your mouth. At first he kept the pace that you set, but with each passing second he was closer and his thrusts became faster. When he felt that he was about to spill his cum inside your mouth, he stopped his movements as well as you.

"Up, in reina. Up." you did as he told you to. You stood up and pressed your lips together in a passionate kiss. Namor moved you with his arms to make you sit on him. You've been waiting for this moment for a long time. His wings began to flutter, brushing against your bare skin. You touched one with your fingers and Namor let out an innocent groan. You weren't admitting the thought that you might lose him. He directed his cock towards your entrance and in one move he was inside you. You both moaned loudly. You wrapped your arms around him, and he took your nipples in his mouth again and savor them while thrusting his cock against your g spot.

When Namor was making love to you, it felt like it was your first and at the same last time. He was rediscovering your body, every inch of your soft skin, your reactions to his actions, and your beautiful sounds again. Everything was perfect.

You have never believed in what the other people have said about him in legends, because what he is like right now, in your arms, fascinated by all of you, is a complete opposite of what is said in all those fairytales.

When you both reached your climaxes, you lay down on the bed together, Namor wrapped his arm around you tightly, and you put your head on his chest listening to his heartbeat. Until you both fell asleep in each others arms, he whispered sweet nothings into your ear and rubbed your nude and soft shoulders.

"In k'áatech, in yaakunaj.

Teech le in yóok'ol kaaba'."

"I love you, my love. You are my whole world."

𝐉𝐎𝐈𝐍 𝐌𝐘 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 || 𝐌𝐀𝐈𝐍 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

[vixstarria]

Communication

Surprise surprise, they're no good at it.

This is a continuation of my in-game bardlock series, seeing as I left a large gap in it between an intimate and emotional scene and a whole bunch of unhinged fucking. Sorry about that.

Takes place after Intimacy but can be read as a stand-alone!

Read on AO3

Astarion x f!Tav

Early Act 3. It has been nice, but it's time Tav and Astarion actually figured out what it is they're doing and what comes next.

Tav is a half-elf bardlock. I'm calling her Tav in this fic, but if you know you know.

Hurt/comfort, some fluff and a drop of humour (I am me after all) if you squint, love, angst

TW: some very casual violence and murder

Approximately 3.9k words. 

“Well?” A very giddy Astarion had appeared behind Tav. “Let’s go!” 

The party had finally reached the outskirts of Baldur’s Gate and were setting up camp near Rivington, after a brief excursion in the area. 

“Go where?” she asked.

“Anywhere! I haven’t seen these streets in sunlight in two centuries.” 

“Now..?”

The city was flooded with refugees. Some child whose mother was definitely not coming for her had seemingly declared herself adopted by the group. There was a towering pile of corpses just outside one of the nearby gates. A circus was in town.

It was nice to finally be back in civilisation.

“Yes, now! Forget the bloody tent, maybe we’ll find an inn to sleep in for a change.”

Nothing had been arranged, set up or planned yet. They had only the vaguest notion of where they were going.

“Sure, a walk sounds lovely right now,” shrugged Tav.

It very quickly became obvious that finding an inn would be nigh on impossible. The streets were crowded with refugees, frantic citizens and all those who would either try to keep them in order or prey upon them.

“Are we going anywhere in particular, or are we just... going?” Tav asked, trying to make her way through the throng. She had never seen Baldur’s Gate this busy before. 

“There is something I’d like to show you,” answered Astarion. “Some place, to be exact. It’s- hey!”

He realised that he was talking to no one, as they had been separated by a group of dwarves pushing their way through between them. Tav smiled at him over their heads, raising her arms in an open-palmed gesture of defeat and resignation.

“Can’t you keep up?” Astarion sighed, rolling his eyes, and reached for her, taking her hand and linking his fingers through hers.

This… This was new, particularly in public, and Tav bit her lip, fighting not to smile, as he guided her after him. 

Astarion glanced back over his shoulder at her, to see her grinning. 

“Oh shut up,” he huffed, before spilling into a smile too, despite himself, and drawing her close to kiss her.

“Half-elven whore,” a nearby elven woman muttered to her companion in elvish, tsking in distaste at the sight. Either she did not expect to be heard or understood, or simply did not care.

Astarion turned towards the woman, with a glower, but before he could retaliate with his own snide remark, Tav told the elven woman to go fuck herself with a splintered broom, in perfect elvish, and pulled Astarion further down the street before the woman thought of anything else to say.

“Such... delightful use of the True Tongue, dear.” Astarion seemed in equal parts impressed and taken aback. “Don't tell me you’ve been holding out on me this whole time..?”

“Oh, no, I only know a little bit,” laughed Tav. 

“Do indulge me.” 

“No, it’s really hardly anything,” she shook her head. “I can count, exchange pleasantries and profanities, know a few songs I can’t translate, and a few odd phrases.” 

“Such as?” 

“I can scream for help in elvish, for one,” she offered. 

“Why would you need to scream for help in elvish..?” 

“Men are more likely to come running if they think it’s a little elven maiden they’re rescuing,” she explained with a sigh. 

Astarion mulled that over with a frown for a bit. 

“I’ll have to take your word for that... What else? And for hells’ sake, just say something, I enjoyed hearing it.” 

She said the first phrase that came to mind.  

Astarion stopped dead in his tracks, with what Tav knew to be the expression he held when he was doing his best to keep his face straight.  

“So let’s start with what you think you just said.” 

“...Shit. ...Uhh.” Tav gave Astarion a sheepish look. “‘My small children have had nothing to eat for days.’?” 

“Darling,” he said, cupping her cheeks, trying not to laugh. “My love. That’s not quite it... Now, how many people do you think you’ve told you’ve ‘eaten nothing but small children for days’..?” 

“Ah... That explains the reactions,” Tav said thoughtfully. 

“Horror?” Astarion finally snickered.

“Usually laughter... I just figured most elves were assholes.” 

Eventually Astarion brought them onto a rooftop that offered an impressive view of the city and surrounding regions.

“It’s so strange to be here in daylight,” he murmured. “This was one of my spots,” he said, turning to Tav. “I used to come here at the start of my evenings, alone, and just… enjoy the peace and quiet for a while.” Astarion took a pensive look around. “Admittedly, the tiles weren’t as hot at night, and all the bird shit wasn’t as prominent.” 

They found a place to sit down.

“I thought you would try to get your job done as quickly as possible,” said Tav.

“There had to be a certain balance to it.” Astarion shook his head. “Start prowling too early, and the potential targets wouldn’t be ripe for the picking yet. And even if I managed to get someone back to the manor early on in the evening, it would only mean I would have to ‘entertain’ them longer.” He shut his eyes and leaned back against a chimney. “It was better to take some precious solitary repose, when I could.”

“Do you think you might have taken me back to Cazador if you’d met me back then?” Tav asked quietly.

Astarion opened his eyes and frowned at the sudden question. 

“Not if I’d ever seen you perform, no,” he deliberated. “I never went for the bards. They were almost my co-conspirators, though they didn’t know it. I couldn’t waste them.” He paused before continuing. “But otherwise, if I’d just bumped into you at a tavern… Probably, yes. A pretty, reckless stray… You would have been perfect. …Would you have followed?” He asked, glancing at her.

“Probably,” she replied, staring off into the distance.

They sat in silence until Astarion broke it with a question.

“Will you stay with me when all this is over?” 

Just the sheer amount of effort he put into trying to make that question sound casual spoke volumes. 

It caught her off guard. They’d spent many evenings in his tent lazily basking in vague fantasies about an ‘after’, usually concentrating on the idea of being able to stay in bed all day, or the concept of their hair and fingernails being free of dried blood and entrails for a change. They’d never actually discussed any realistic nuance of this ‘after’. Or what it might look like, other than what it wouldn’t look like. 

“Are you certain you want to take Cazador’s place in the ritual..?” she asked, carefully. 

“Why shouldn’t I?” Astarion immediately sounded defensive. 

“You don’t even know what it entails or means, not really...” 

“It means having everything I’ve been missing the past two centuries, what else is there to know?” He scoffed. “...You haven’t answered my question,” he said after a pause. 

She said nothing for a while, looking down at her fingernails. 

“Stay and do what..?” 

“Anything!” he exclaimed. “Anything you want. We could do anything. Do you have any idea what I will be capable of? Of the power I will hold. The influence.”

“Yes, yes, legions of wolves, turning into mist,” she recited. “What else… Commanding ghouls, I think?” She threw her head back, looking at the sky. “I’m not sure why you would need to do any of that, though.”

“Unimaginable power, and you mock it…” Astarion said indignantly. “I suppose you would rather go frolic in the woods with Halsin..? …Oh don’t look so shocked, I’ve seen how he looks at you. Sleeping in the dirt, living off the land. Is that what would make you happy?” 

“He looks at you the same way! And must you jump to extremes?” She let out an exasperated sigh. “Even if I were interested in Halsin, there is ample space between sleeping in the dirt and sleeping in that gothic monstrosity, in which I might find myself happy.” 

They sat in silence for a while. 

“I don’t think you should go through with it,” she said, finally. “Something about it just doesn’t sit right.” 

Astarion looked at her with an unreadable expression and didn’t say anything. She continued. 

“I know enough stories - and before you roll your eyes at me, there is usually a grain of truth to them – and I’ve read between the lines of enough history texts, to know there is no such thing as a jolly vampire lord that just has a grand ol’ time carousing in their castle. It’s always centred on cruelty, misery and violence.” 

“I suppose you know plenty of stories of jolly vampire spawn,” he spat. 

“Some, as a matter of fact. They usually revolve around romance and redemption.” She sighed and continued, as he let out a bitter laugh. “I’ve never heard of any demonic deals that ended in anything that wasn’t disastrous, either. The point is, nothing that involves blood or soul sacrifice has ever made anyone happy.” She looked in the direction of Cazador’s palace. “We should kill Cazador, burn it all to the ground and dance on the ashes. I will be by your side. And yes, I want to stay with you. Of course I do.” 

“For how long?” Astarion asked quietly, after a pause. 

“...What?” 

“How long will you stay by my side? You have another... 100 years, 150 at best? I can’t offer any solutions to that as a spawn.” 

She blinked, realisation dawning in her eyes.

“...Astarion Ancunin, did you just say you want to spend the rest of eternity with me?” 

“Oh don’t you bloody dare turn this into a joke,” he bristled. “Just for once.”

“Not a joke, but…” She paused and gave her head a brisk shake, as if to snap herself out of a daze. “Just so we’re absolutely clear, what are you saying?”

“Isn’t it obvious..?” The grin that had crept habitually onto Astarion’s face felt like a suffocating mask. She only stared back into his eyes, unblinking, waiting for him to continue. “I could turn you. Grant you an eternity.” ‘With me’, he wanted to add, but the look in her eyes made the words die on his tongue.

None of this was going the way Astarion had expected. Not that he had planned any of this… Still, he’d made certain assumptions. He’d anticipated the conversation and day would flow somewhere along the following lines: re-affirm his plans for Cazador. Exchange words of undying love and devotion. Maybe, maybe make love to her again, later, in celebration. Instead everything was slipping like fine sand through his fingers. Words simply wouldn’t come out of his mouth. Everything he thought he might say suddenly felt pathetic.

“Turn me? To become one of your spawn?” Astarion opened his mouth to speak, but she talked over him. “Two centuries as something you say is less than a slave, a puppet, and you would so easily offer the same fate to me..?”

“First of all,” he sputtered, “I don’t know why you immediately assumed there would be others. Secondly,” he continued, slowing down, “there is another way, or so I’ve read. You wouldn’t be a mere spawn, but a-” Astarion winced, cutting himself off. “Never mind,” he said, shaking his head. This was rapidly spinning further and further out of his control. “I thought you trusted me?” he asked instead.

“It’s not about trust,” she said. “If you had the choice between a hundred years of absolute freedom or being enthralled to someone for eternity - doesn’t matter who - me, Gale, your long-lost grandmother, anyone! What would you choose?”

“I would never compel you,” said Astarion, his voice tinged with a hint of pleading.

“That’s not the point,” she said, looking away, running her hand through and tugging at her hair. “Let’s just head back. We still need to set up before it gets dark, and I promised Karlach we would visit that bloody circus…”

Something inside Astarion shattered and spilled, ice-cold, over his heart as she got up and walked away. 

Not even an hour had passed since some of the happiest moments he’s had in centuries.

They walked back in silence. 

Eventually they came upon an outpost of Flaming Fists and steel watchers, who had appeared on the road they had taken into the city. They were apprehending everyone trying to pass through, whether they were leaving or entering. 

“Let’s try a side street,” offered Astarion. 

They found and made their way through a narrow alleyway. It was empty. Suspiciously empty, in fact - no children running through, no one out for a quick smoke, no drunks pissing on the walls.

Sure enough, once they were halfway through, three goons intercepted their way, stepping out of a doorway. Two humans and an enormous half-orc wide enough to block out most of the passage. 

“Alley toll.” One of the thugs flashed a malicious grin, eyeing Tav up and down. “Better pay up, doll.” Three more jeering hoodlums appeared behind them as he spoke, armed with crude but lethal weapons. 

“Attempting to detain a Council battlemage on duty? Bold but stupid,” she said gravely. “Hand over your profits and Lord Gortash won’t learn of your little enterprise. This is your only warning.” 

Trying to bluff and deceive her way through, per usual. Was there even a Council anymore? Did it employ mages? No matter. Whether due to the fact that she and Astarion had decided to wander the streets of the city in civilian clothes, without armour, or simply because the lust for money and violence had gotten the better of the would-be muggers, they paid her attempt no heed. 

The leader laughed.

“Or, how about we have some fun with you, and your Lord Gortash can come and collect your body from the river once we’re done with it?”

Astarion’s blood boiled.

He reached for his daggers, thoughts racing. Why in the hells had they come here barely armed..? They were surrounded, but perhaps if she blasted the three in front of them they might run through..? But they were probably too close for that… Could she misty step behind them and get away? His undead body would most likely survive whatever came, even with the tadpole. 

“Take the ones behind,” Tav snapped, and Astarion followed her lead, as he had grown used to, silently praying to no particular deity that she knew what she was doing. 

He ducked as one of the goons bellowed and swung a sword at him, dodging the blow to come up next to his attacker, burying a dagger between his ribs and another in his guts, for good measure. At least the alley was too narrow for all of the bandits to come in on them at once. Behind him, Tav spat some incantation that he wasn’t familiar with.

The next lout came at him, only to stop short, as Astarion scrounged up his meagre magical abilities to hurl a firebolt at his face, making the man yelp and grind to a halt in shock and pain. Astarion’s dagger followed through his eye socket shortly thereafter. 

The entire altercation with the two thugs took mere seconds. Another controlled shout from Tav followed behind him.

The last of the muggers on Astarion’s side backed away, looking at the scene unfolding behind Astarion with a horrified expression, before breaking into a run and disappearing. 

Astarion turned back to witness Tav standing with her arms crossed, looking unaffected, just as the half-orc who had been behind the group’s leader pulled his sword back out from the leader’s stomach, having impaled him from behind.

Tav barked another command as the leader collapsed, and the half-orc slammed the head of his other cohort, who hadn’t understood what was happening yet, against a wall, with a resounding crunch. 

A domination spell. 

Astarion felt nauseous. If his body had been capable of producing bile, it would have crept up at the back of his throat. For once, the smell of freshly spilled blood all around them was repulsive to him.

 “Kneel,” Tav commanded, calmly. The half-orc’s body immediately dropped to its knees, with a thud that spoke of damaged kneecaps.

“I’m running out of time. Do you need him?” She stepped over the body of the group’s dying ex-leader and walked around the half-orc, to stand behind him. 

Disgust and revulsion continued to claw at Astarion’s insides. 

“…What?”

The half-orc’s eyes were void of any emotion. A small mercy.

“Blood. Do you want his blood, before I spill it?” she said nonchalantly.

“…No,” he swallowed. Not like this…

He watched as she slit his throat, carefully standing behind him to avoid blood spraying over herself. Comprehension returned to the man’s eyes just as he made his last gurgling sounds, before stilling forever. 

“That was despicable,” Astarion hissed, finally breaking his gaze away from the body. “Compulsion? Really?!”

She gave him an incredulous look, momentarily speechless.

“This is what I do!” she exclaimed. “This is how I protect myself. You know this! What the fuck did you expect - that I would set off a fireball in an alley?! Or make one of them have a fit of giggles?!”

“You didn’t need to do anything, I could have handled all of them,” he countered.

“Oh, stand behind you like a meek little lamb?” She scoffed. “While neither of us are even wearing armour, and they’re on both sides? Don’t be ridiculous.” She crouched to wipe her dagger on the dead man’s clothes. “What does it matter, anyway,” she said, offhanded. “Dead is dead - who cares how they got there?” 

“It was just like Cazador all over again,” Astarion said, bitterly. “Watching my siblings torture each other, for his amusement, waiting for it to be my turn to be compelled.”

She stilled as she crouched, not looking up at him. 

“You fucking hypocrite,” she said, finally, rising. 

“What in the hells are you talking about?” he grimaced.

“Comparing me to Cazador, when you’re planning to take his very place.”

“How dare you?” Astarion felt the last of his composure leaving him. “I am nothing like Cazador, and I never will be,” he growled.

“No?” She narrowed her eyes. “You’re already thinking of your own spawn. Maybe you would keep your word and not compel me, but you would be curious. All that power that you’ve been wishing was yours for 200 years...” She gesticulated, tilting her head. “First just one teensy little slave - someone who’s wronged you, maybe, someone who deserves to bear your ire. Then, perhaps someone convenient, in a place of power. Someone like what you would have been, had Cazador not botched your death so bad that it became public. Then another. And another. And what will you do with them once you have them? Take them for midnight picnics and host slumber parties?” 

She spat on the ground. 

“I’m going back to camp.”

She stormed off, fuming, exiting the alleyway and mixing into the crowd. Astarion followed at a distance, discreetly wiping the blood that had landed on his hands on the shirt of a random passerby that stumbled out in front of him. He gritted his teeth, watching her.

It had taken every last bit of his self-control to not snap back at her during her little tirade. 

He wanted to stalk off in the opposite direction, but frankly all his things were at the campsite, and he still needed the group’s help, both with Cazador and the tadpole. And he couldn’t discount something else happening to her on the way back. 

No, none of this was what he thought would end up happening today. Was this the end..?

It didn’t matter, he thought. Let her be stubborn. Let her accuse him of gods know what. He would do what he had set out to do. Hells, even if she changed her mind later - it would be too late. Let her live out her “hundred years of freedom” in regret.

And how fucking dare she?! Insinuating that he was or could ever be anything like Cazador. After all he had given her. His trust. His love. He didn’t have anything else. Not as a spawn, anyway.

But perhaps she would change her mind, after she gave his proposal more thought..? He could talk her into it, couldn’t he? He’s talked so many people into doing exactly what he wanted them to do…

There was no point in anything otherwise. It was all for her. All he wanted for himself was revenge. Freedom. Safety. But all the power in the world was meaningless if he couldn’t share it with her.

Astarion winced at the thought, hating that it even crossed his mind. If only he could claw it out of his brain and smash it against the cobbles beneath his feet. How much simpler life would be.

He would not grovel. He would not apologise. He would not change his mind. And he would rather die, again, than be caught running after her like a dog. 

Astarion cursed, slipped into the shadows and turned invisible, breaking into a sprint. He wouldn’t be able to replicate the trick for a while now, if the need arose, but he couldn’t care less. 

He raced up sets of stairs, speeding through a terrace, dodging the patrons of whatever establishment it was he was going through, and leaped, unseen, onto the next building’s, until he was ahead of her, descending back onto the ground and losing his invisibility around the corner from the main street, stepping out just in front of her. 

He caught a glimpse of her scowling and furiously blinking away tears just before she crashed into his chest with a light gasp, as he wrapped his arms around her. She was stiff and rigid, but at least she didn’t try to push him away. Still, a part of him was screaming that it was already too late.

“I don’t want you to have to commit those atrocities when you’re with me,” Astarion murmured into her hair, holding her close.

“You’d rather commit them yourself?” she retorted, her voice weak.

“I don’t want to,” he said quietly, as she seemed to become more malleable, and sank into his embrace, slowly wrapping her own arms around his back. “But I will if I have to. For you.”

“That makes two of us, I guess,” she managed, sounding choked up. 

Astarion took a deep breath, relieved. Mine… Still mine… He thought to himself, touching his forehead against hers and stroking her cheek. Someone in the street heckled them, yelling something about getting a room.

“I already don’t have much to offer, beyond all my burdens,” he whispered. She looked up at him, eyes glistening. She tried to protest, but he pressed a finger to her lips. “I want to do what I can, for you. For us. What good am I if I can’t even keep you safe?”

He pressed his lips against her forehead as she hugged him tighter. He had no idea whether he had convinced her of anything, or if she simply didn’t have the will to argue anymore, but for now it didn’t matter.

“I will love you no matter what,” she breathed.

Another jeer followed from the crowd, and someone cursed at them to get out of the way.

“A legion of wolves sounds tempting right about now,” she added, as he smiled.

“Do you still want to get Karlach and go to that circus?” he asked.

“Fuck the circus,” she mumbled into his shirt. “But I guess we should.”

They made their way back to the camp, fingers interlocked again. The silence that stretched once more almost felt comfortable this time.

~~~~~

Thanks for reading!

Series master list

Next in series - A night at the inn

AO3

~~~~~

Tag list:

@littleenglishfangirl @something-pithy @darlingxdragon @tallymonster @tragedybunny @spunky-89 @acourtofpenandpaper @yoonshope @lariatbunny @whiskeyskin @asterordinary @wingsy-keeper-of-songs @spacebarbarianweird @brabblesblog @littlejuicebox @icybluepenguin @snowfolly @ayselluna @mj-bites @bardic-inspo

[saikokirakira]

We're Not Married Yet [Jake Lockley x Reader]

word count: 2.5k

summary: you received nothing but radio silence from your partners for months. one day, jake comes home and calls you by an unknowingly offensive endearment. your insecurity acts up, and jake won't give up control until he fixes it.

a/n: more ANGST. MORE! *insert kylo ren meme* don't worry though. it's just miscommunication. also, it's time for our boy jake to shine and show his simpery. and the thought of this fic came from listening to "porque" by maldita and also finding out that querida is an endearment in spanish. in filipino, it means the complete opposite opposite – a married man's lover/mistress.

warnings: can be standalone; ANGST with fluff ending; hurt and comfort; separation anxiety/fear of abandonment; miscommunication/language barrier; insecurity in a poly-relationship (hinting at my wife layla in the loop as well); jake lockley is a simp and kinda romantically intense; use of chavacano (spanish-creole filipino language) by a non-speaker (so idk how it would translate for jake who is fluent in spanish) (just assume he does understand it lol)

It has been months. Months since Marc woke up and said Khonshu needed him somewhere. He and the god insisted that you stay home after a little mishap got you seriously injured from the last mission. You didn’t argue.

You just wished that there wasn’t any radio silence between you and them. When the first week passed, you managed to find out that they were with Layla, but neither of them bothered to call. They just left you to be the goldfish sitter. Not that you minded that much at first. You knew that Marc was still bothered over the fact that he accidentally killed Real Gus.

During the first month, you thought you were going crazy. You stopped by every day at Steven’s flat to feed the Gus-es and check his tank. Then you’d make yourself some tea and call out, “Do you want one, Steven?” before realizing that you were alone.

Halfway through the third month, you somewhat grew accustomed to the routine. Sometimes, you would spend the night at his flat, not because it was easier – it was harder actually – but because you were afraid that you might forget them. It was a silly thing to worry about, but you didn’t want to be so used by their absence that the feelings would just go away.

You used to have a whole speech on what to yell at them the moment one of them steps through that door, but now… you weren’t quite sure what to say. You’d be lucky if you’d get a word out as a matter of fact. Maybe you could get a slap in.

They came back on the last week of the fourth month.

You just finished cleaning the two Gus’ filter, which probably took longer than you should have. You felt like you were running slow when you woke up that morning. Putting on music on the speakers, you had planned to make a quick sandwich for lunch then curl back in bed.

Bakit sa’yo pa nagkagusto? // Why did I like you out of everyone else?

Parang bula ika’y naglaho // Like a bubble, you disappeared

Between the heavy daze in your mind and the music crooning all over the flat, you didn’t notice at all that the front door swung open. You had your back to him when Jake silently set his newsboy cap and leather gloves on the side. He was very careful that you weren’t holding anything that would injure you or him when he wrapped his arms around your waist from behind.

As expected, you stiffened and immediately relaxed when you recognized that scent. You hated how you still know it too well. The flat had been long cleared of any of their scent after the first month, and you cried about it for a whole night once.

But now, you weren’t sure what to feel. Like you expected, you wouldn’t muster any words. You couldn’t even distinguish the emotions bubbling in the pit of your stomach. Anger, relief, sadness, happiness?

Instead, all you said was “Jake?”

He merely hummed then buried his face in the crook of your neck, breathing you in after months away. He didn’t want to let you go, even when you tried to move so you can turn to face him. He immediately felt months’ worth of tension leave his body. That and the soft music playing in the background started to make him aware of his fatigue.

“Let’s go to bed, hm?” you offered, catching the slight tired slump of his shoulders.

Jake hummed in acknowledgement again, but instead of walking normally, his hands moved from your waist to threading your fingers together, swaying you through the music across the apartment. Jake held you close to him as you both continued to sway in the free space near the foot of Steven’s bed. He didn’t understand a word of what the song meant, that is, until the chorus played again.

Bien simple lang I yo tapidi // What I ask is simple

Era cin ti tu el cosa yo ya cin ti // I hope you feel my sorrow

Jake still didn’t understand it completely, but fragments of the lyrics, chosen few of the words, he caught and interpreted the gist of it. He stopped moving and tucked his finger under your chin, tilting your head up to meet his gaze. “Is that how you feel, querida?” he asked.

Jake didn’t miss how your eye twitched at the nickname.

You tried to not to let it bother you. You really did. It’s his endearment for you. Jake rarely fronted, and when he did, he was incredibly loving towards you. There was no reason to take offense on what he calls you.

Hiding your discomfort, you buried your face in his chest and continued to sway. “It’s just a song, Jake,” you said. “My playlist is on shuffle.”

Na dimio rezo ta pidi yo // In my prayers, I ask

Era olvida yo contigo // I hope I forget you

“Well, I don’t like it,” Jake said bluntly with a plump pout on his lip. He stopped dancing once again and walked to turn off the speaker. “Let’s go to bed, querida.”

Again, Jake saw you relent but not only after you exhaled in a self-soothing manner. He pulled you under the covers, and you fell asleep within a few minutes. You seemed tired, emotionally drained to the point that you’d sleep to avoid them, and even though Jake was exhausted as well, his worry for you now kept him up.

I told you we were gone too long. Can she no longer stand endearments? Steven piped in their head. Let me have control. I want to talk to her.

“I’ll fix it,” Jake assured him, cutting himself silent when you stirred. He tucked you deeper into the covers and watched the furrow between your brows relax.

Jake will fix it. He always did. That’s why he’s fronting now when the others couldn’t even forcibly take control. Something was wrong.

~

When you woke up a few hours in the late afternoon, you were still tangled up in your boyfriend’s arms. You couldn’t tell who would be out once he woke up, but you were sure that if it were either Marc or Jake, they’d wake up as soon as you sit up in bed. Your thoughts were answered when the grip around your waist tightened when you tried to slither off to the corner of the bed.

“Marc?”

An agitated huff told you that you were mistaken. The sleepy daze immediately wore off. If he was still fronting, something might be wrong. “Is everything okay, Jake?”

“I don’t know, querida. Is there?”

At his pointed question, you immediately closed up. “You’re the one who disappeared for months without contacting me,” you shot back. “I’m surprised you didn’t mail me divorce papers as well.”

“We’re not married yet, querida.”

You scoffed and got out of bed, stomping your way to the kitchen. You took the tea tin and took a bag, then slamming the cabinet shut. It was only until you were filling up the kettle on the faucet did you realise your hands were shaking and tears were dripping on your outstretched arms.

Well, done, Fabio. You really did so well. Marc snarked at Jake from the mirror in front of their bed. Let me out.

“No.”

Let me out! Marc demanded.

Let him out, Jake. Steven pleaded. She needs—

“What? You? Us? Who exactly? We left. Everything will be exactly the same if either of you comes out.”

From the kitchen, you peered at Jake arguing with Marc and Steven from the mirror. There was no doubt they all were concerned now from your outburst. You didn’t even know why you were upset.

Well, you were, are, upset that they disappeared like ghosts for months. What you didn’t understand was why Jake’s endearment bothered you even more. It was an endearment. It’s not like he knew your language that well to deliberately calling you negative names.

Jake was cursing up a fury at the mirror when you silently sat on the spot beside him at the edge of the bed. He immediately stopped staring at his reflection to look at you. Really look at you. That’s one thing you loved about Jake. His gaze made you feel like you were the only thing that mattered to him. More than Khonshu. More than…

You shook the thought from your head. It was absurd to be jealous of your lovers that way. It wasn’t fair to you nor was it fair to them.

“Talk to me,” you said, grasping his hand in between yours.

“You didn’t deserve it. I know you deserve better, but I want you, cariño. You’re all I’ve wanted. I will always come back to you.”

In the background, you heard the electric kettle click itself off, but you were more focused on Jake baring his feelings for you. He was barely around for as long as you knew Marc and Steven, but he had never failed in being sincere with how he felt for you. “I’m sorry,” you sobbed.

Jake’s face fell, and if you could only see what he saw, Marc lowered his eyes in the mirror, while Steven retreated back in the recesses of their mind. Even Khonshu was eerily silent and nowhere to be found, which was odd enough as it is. The god was fond of you in his own way that he kept a safe distance hovering nearby.

“Don’t be,” you said. “I know what I signed up for when I decided to be with an Avatar.” You let out a weak chuckle at the unintentional reference. “Steven would’ve loved that one.”

“Do you wish to talk with him instead, cariño?”

You didn’t miss the hurt that seeped through Jake’s words. You barely spent time with him, and you knew him the shortest. You shook your head and cupped your hands over his cheeks, tilting his head to face you.

The same furrowed brow wrinkled his forehead again, and if it wasn’t for the stiffness in his eyes, the conflicted look behind those brown orbs would’ve easily misled you to think he was Marc. Jake’s hard expression was easily remedied when you pressed a soft kiss on his forehead. The hurt and fear were now exposed, and you had to come clean with your own issues.

“I’m not mad that you left for months,” you said and immediately caught yourself at Jake’s pointed look. “Okay, yes, I was mad, but only during the first month, especially when I found out that you took Layla with you.”

“It wasn’t all us, love.” Steven snuck out for a moment. “But she was also worried that it was too early for you to take this mission on.” His eyes rolled back, and Jake was back, annoyed from those few seconds of being interrupted.

“Sometimes…” you took a deep breath, finding the right words to say, “I feel like I’m just a liability to you guys, you and Layla.”

This time it was Marc who took the wheel. “You can easily put us on our asses, baby,” he laughed softly, trying to lighten your mood. “Sure, we’d put up a fight, but your powers are kinda scary sometimes.”

Your hands pressed against Marc’s chest before gripping his jacket in tight fists as if you were scared that he’d vanish after your next words. “That’s not what I mean, Marc.”

When the realization dawned on his face, Marc immediately cupped your face. “Why on earth would you even think that?” he asked, hurt from your words and from how you felt. “I mean, you were dating Steven when he had no idea of Layla and my existence, and we were even on the verge of divorce by then.” He continued, “and Jake… Well, I think Jake only likes you. That ass only shows up when one of us are dying or when it comes to you.

“And Layla adores you. Otherwise, she didn’t finish our job for us just so we can come back to you,” he added. Swallowing whatever weight that clogged his throat, he finally said, “You’re a part of this crazy relationship whether you like it or not.” Realizing what he accidentally implied, he softly asked, “If… if you were to leave…” He trailed off, his voice ending in a shuddering breath. His shoulder tensed for a split second, and he was gone, overwhelmed from his own fears.

“We will marry you in a heartbeat,” Jake said, grasping your hand. “If that meant you would never leave us.” That wide-eyed gaze he pointed at you showed that he was frighteningly sincere.

But it was quickly cut off with Steven nervously chuckling. “If you would have us, love,” he said. “Of course, consent is key. No need to be psycho about it,” he shot a pointed glance at the mirror.

You exhaled, feeling all the tension and issues wafting away from a single breath. “One thing though,” you stated.

“What is it, querida?” Jake returned, and this time, he finally noticed the twitch in your eye from the endearment he gave you.

“Two things I hate though,” you corrected yourself through gritted teeth. “Call me anything but that word, and propose to me properly. And we won’t have any problems.”

Jake would never admit it but the coldness in your voice and suddenly shifting to a sweet smile after you listed your terms made the hairs on his arms stand a bit.

Later that evening, Jake discreetly looked up what ‘the forbidden endearment’ meant on Steven’s phone. He sucked in a sharp breath at his massive mistake, and a pit formed in his stomach when it sank that he had been accidentally feeding your insecurity all this time. He immediately rushed over to you on the stove and pulled you into his arms.

“Jake! What the—” Unable to pull yourself out of his embrace, you barely managed to reach for the stove and turn the heat to low before you accidentally burn down his flat. “Now barely seems like the time to—”

“You’re the only one for me. I revere you. I fear you. I worship you. Cariño, mi vida, mi corazón​…”

You laughed in the midst of your confusion while Jake pulled you in for a tight hug. “What brought this on?” Your eyes landed on Steven’s phone at the kitchen counter with the latest search page still on display. A more genuine smile tugged at your lips as you buried your face into his chest, embracing his warmth.

“Also, I’m marrying Layla first.”

SMACK!

You barely registered the sting on your bottom when you were pushed away. Steven’s wide-eyed puppy eyes gazed at you in horror. His mouth hung open in surprise as he raised his hands in innocence.

“It wasn’t me. I swear!” Steven cried out. Then he paused, glancing off somewhere. “Jake says he’ll be back once he gets a ring before Layla comes home next week.”

[0daylighthours0]

My Mother's Unbiased Byler + Milkvan Opinions - Viewing ST for the 1st Time!

(UPDATE)

My Mama has now witnessed Stranger Things in its entirety. Her favourite season was the third, her favourite characters Hopper and Joyce, her favourite pairing would be those guys too, and her most disliked pairing? Can only assume.

I wanted to write out her thoughts on the second to last episode previously, as she'd held many, but before I knew it we'd finished the whole show and I was forced to an income of NEW opinions which ruled out my memory of any old ones. Shucks. But boy did this lady have much to say. The only way I can break it down is by providing a sample of quotes she'd delivered, in order, a day after having finished the series.

All are just things she said about milkvan and byler, as they're this post's main focus. There's simply much to say about these relationships too, being so up in the air over where they ought be expected to turn out. These are all direct quotes too (as I typed as she talked, unkown to her) so you'll have to excuse the natural way in which some lines come off as unfocused, being written after real time conversations. Let's get into it:

Ok I really don't know whether she likes Mike very much. She actively disliked the guy earlier on, and now her feelings appear to be more mixed. A lot of her discussion was solely around this guy's actions.

"It's almost like he's [Mike] forcing himself like- ok Hopper he was kind of very passionate and kissing, you know he sort of instantly- with Mike, from being obsessed and spending so much time with her [El], suddenly he starts cooling off more and more and suddenly- they even separated right? I mean yeah that was out of his control but he, but he didn't really seem like he missed her you know it's like he just got on with it."

This point caught me off guard. I don't know how much I agree with my mother on this. It made me realize that during Mike and El's separation, there weren't many quiet Mike moments in which he expressed worry for her, beyond a couple that blend into him simply having breakup concerns. Any time Mike mentions distress for her whilst she's away, his talk evolves into him simply anxious over the state of their relationship. As a group, everyone in our Cali gang clearly wanted to save Eleven, but Mike really should have gotten more heartfelt moments in solitude (that means without Will you suffer bros) in which it is demonstrated to the audience that he really does miss her, as someone who is in love. Her being away shouldn't simply come off as a writing excuse for him to vent to Will. There wasn't enough of that tenderness milkvan desperately needs, and if anything I watched was an attempt then it really wasn't translated well - never trumping everyone else's familial or close frienship-like fret for El, never showcasing his concern to come from a more personal place. I mean how hard is it to have him in her room, staring longingly at a photo of hers, with a background composed of soft music. Then literally leaving it at that. I mean that is it. No Will rushing in there to insist, "you can tell her that thing when you see her k? It'll all work out trust me ight, you're the heart you're the HEART!" que affectionate gazes, constructs a byler scene for no reason I guess .

"I mean how do we know that he missed Will? He articulated it. Why didn't he articulate this the same way to El?"

True. I mean the fact that I can't remember a moment after they find El in which milkvan ask oneanother how they are, and communicate how much they missed eachother, does indeed say something. They shared a hug and touch when they first reunited, which was gladly interrupted by Will. That pineapple + pizza thing was not long enough, or sensitive enough, to be their moment. There was clear bonding, but it didn't breach a level of romance and chemistry nearly decently. It's good that they got at least that, I mean we need to know that these guys are at LEAST really close friends. And then the camera just felt like panning over to Will about to burst into tears in a corner. Like huh? Bruv you've now made it so that milkvan's pizza bit leaves a bad taste in our mouths. If I were a milkvan I'd be furious.

"You know what, I think it's done purposefully to create that sort of cold, distant, confused, you know they wanted to make people say he's [Mike] bisexual. For people to question. They want to get people to think that."

My Mama believes writers intentionally soured milkvan for viewers to "confuse" audiences, build up anticipation, make them question milkvan's relationship and wonder if our main man will spin to Will. I agree. They want that good ol' triangle comeuppance.

"They really are trying to bring that across- so that people start thinking Mike, you know he doesn't love El, he loves Will. They're really trying to, make people think that. Giving them [milkvan] a really nitty gritty relationship."

Yup.

"When you're gay. Coming out like that it's- it's terrifying. You have to be very careful. And Will could, he could tell. You know when someone is attracted to you. I think, things became sort of- sort of complicated. And Will sensed, he could feel that Mike is attracted to him. And that's why he could open up like that. Because you can always tell. You know, you just know, so that's why Will was able to confess these things to him [she sees painting scene as a confession, whether Mike realized it or not, and so do I]."

Well damn Mama. And there you have it folks. My.. I'm not gonna call her the h word but.. my- notabigfanofgaythingsandwouldbehappytopretendtheydon'texist mother, perceives Mike as a homosexual kid, and just that. Well bloomin heck that's all the confirmation I need.

I didn't expect this as a turnout, I mean so particularly. My Mama actually didn't like byler - I think. Well. Bloomin heck. She actually enjoyed Vickie x Robin, and this shocked me to my core. I don't know whether this is simply due to her being a fan of Vickie's actress (recognizing her from Anne With an 'E'), but I do know that my mother has a bias in gay relationships and sees ones involving females as more "pure" than that of two males. So her language when describing Will has changed since her realization that he loves Mike for sure (which became undeniable in the van scene). She describes him as being 'obsessed' with Mike, and says writers really wanted to get that obsession across. I agree with Will having been one note during season 4, him hopefully having more time to shine in the approaching season, but I thoroughly disagree with him coming off as obsessive. I suppose our camera man displayed the guy's little glances at Mike so often that my Mama felt it was overdone, and unable to be ignored. I also think she's just avoiding use of the word 'love' when describing anything homosexual.

She still doesn't think Mike demonstrates how much he loves El enough to leave no room for debate. According to her, his moments with her seem surface level. Just as a reminder she does not know my thoughts. She watched that entire 'I love you' thing and still isn't secure in any genuineness of the guy. I believe she supposes that we're intended to acknowledge milkvan's romance, but also probe it.

I now wonder whether my Mama was good enough representation for the average audience, because she actually does own a bias - this being that she usually actively dislikes gay things. So I puzzle over whether her brain overanalyzed any of the boys' highlights, wanting to "expose" their homo intentions. At first things were up in the air, but it became clear that Mike did not pass her gaydar, he was simply too intimate with Will to make that pass. And this wasn't the case in other seasons, she never questioned their friendship til now. She also hasn't acknowledged any supposedly queer relationships besides rickie (vobin?) and byler, meaning that other fan favourites such as elmax, steddie, ronance and such else didn't stand out as gay to her. This doesn't signify those other relationships to not have a chance, I'm elmax's personal cheersquad, it's plainly clear that my mother didn't have a tendency to point at every same sex relationship and yell suspicious. Byler was purely undeniable. You can thank Will's love being canoned for this, otherwise noone would have a need to read into Mike.

I don't know whether she supposes byler to have a chance moreso than the milk in the van, even with Mike's ambiguity. It would seem that as of right now her guess is that watchers are intended to second guess both relationships in order to build up interest. However, she doesn't know how unlikely Will's love life is to turn out negatively seeing as those damn writers manipulated crowds into consistently sympathizing for him. Dunno about the rest of you but that sounds like good news to me.

I have no idea how to close this analysis. Is it an analysis? There's much more I want to say, much more she said, but I fear this to be too jam-packed and aimless as is. I'm writing a third part to my most recent milkthevan failing relationship deep dive, and that'll possibly consist of thoughts I wish to input after gathering so much data from my mother.

[kanmom51]

JM's Production diary Documentary

And Live 23 October 2023

So, I don't know how to do this.

Write about JM's documentary separate from his live.

Write about the two without being all over the place.

Because not too much happened, and yet so much did.

So, where do I start? How do I get through this?

At this point I have so many ideas running through my head for posts, so much so that I'm not sure just yet how this post will work out, given that everything intertwines.

I still have JM's previous live to work on as well. Yeah, kind of overwhelmed at the moment.

I guess I will just get on with it, but I do think that more than likely there will be things I will either save for another post or two or three, or forget something (that I can guarantee) or just post on repeat, cause some things we just cannot get enough of.

Let's talk about the documentary a bit.

We got to see the process of JM creating his songs. How they would start with the idea, the narrative. Then the melody, instruments and the vocals and then the actual lyrics.

JM's musicality, his talent, his creativity all showcased.

We also got to see just how nice Pdogg is. How much he loves JM, how respectful he is to him, not to mention how talented he is himself. As a matter of fact, the whole team that worked with JM were super nice and talented and they just all seemed to be having a good time, even while working to the bone.

Oh, and how none of them actually knew English, lmao.

In the documentary we were shown how JM and Pdogg chose the quote from the movie to use in the song. Only that it wasn't the one they actually used in the song itself. And that is because, as JM revealed to us in the live, they picked it without knowing what the characters were talking about, picking a convo between the characters that sounded nice to them at the time, something that would suit the song. All while the two characters were actually talking about a visa, lol. And JM, well, he found that super funny (which truthfully, it really is), so he repeated it a couple of times.

We also saw RM in the documentary sitting down with them talking about writing lyrics. Only for JM to share with us that:

Which JM found to be very funny. I guess now it is, but back then... not sure he shared that same sentiment, lol.

He kept on laughing about him being an idea bank, lol. It's ok to acknowledge your genius, man!!!

Hobi and then Jin show up in the comments while JM is watching the documentary. And I was surprised at that point, given that I really did think JM wouldn't be doing this live, that it would have been pre-recorded. But it wasn't, and thank god for that, cause we all know what happened later on. Less than 1.30 minutes out of an almost 2 hour live, but gosh, what a 1.30 minutes they were, lol.

Anyways, Hobi shows up and JM goes all shy and even stops playing the documentary telling him to leave, that he won't continue playing until he does.

Guess who won that fight, lol. Hobi, of course. JM gives in and continues, once in a while saying they will go away at 9 pm (Jin came in to say that there is some kind of something military related, lol).

Letter

Yes, let's actually start with the name of the song.

Cause for some reason, although they all talk about the song using the word pyeonji (Letter), all while the translation is Dear.Army. Like what the actual fuck? Why would they do that?

Well, we kind of know, don't we?

Someone (cough Hybe cough) is working super hard to cement the song is for the fans.

Please tell me, if this was a song completely meant for the fans, why this incessant need of the company to sell this to us? Why change the name of it in the fucking documentary, while JM and the others are literally saying the word "letter" translating it to "Dear.Army"? There is only one answer I can think of here. And you know exactly what that answer is.

I'm not going to go back to all the reasoning as to why this is way more than a song for fans, I feel like we've discussed this ad nauseam. I will only say that NOTHING we saw in the documentary contradicts what we think about Letter.

You can see, throughout the process how emotionally tasking the song is for JM. And yes, a song for ARMY could be emotional, I mean both JM and JK have immense love for ARMY, and we've seen JK burst into tears talking to army or about army, JM getting very emotional himself. But this, this was more. There are moments there when you can see the anxiety just bursting out of JM.

This song was just MORE.

Especially when you take everything you see in the documentary, JM's state of mind, his words, his behaviour, and add it all up with the lyrics, even more so the missing lyrics. Would be hard to explain how "dongsaeng" fits into "this is a song for army"... Add it to the hidden track. But not only it being a hidden track, it's a hidden track only on the physical CD. Not the digital CD. So, no streaming. A track for Army, for his fans, that not all of his fans get to hear freely? A track for Army that, hmm... maybe wasn't supposed to even be in the album?

We got more than 2 seconds of JK. That's worth a mention too, no?

When I saw this I was: fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

Cause, no way under the sun, yes, pun intended, that this was about ARMY.

Army was NEVER REFERENCED AS THE SUN BY ANY OF THEM.

NEVER.

You know who was?

The level of emotion we see from the two of them throughout the process... this was so personal.

I rewatched it again today before writing these lines. It's JK's body language, it's JM's body language, it's JM going in to cup JK's face when telling him he wrote a fan song, and JK's reaction.

Dare I remind you that "Still with you" was classified by JK as a "fan song". Dare I remind you what our sentiments about that song are? Yeah, a fans song.

And I will remind you, not that you need the reminder, who happened to state for all of us to see that he was JM's fan. Happening to do so during JM's promotions of Face and before JM's Face Live, which I do not think was a coincidence AT ALL.

They are just precious. What else can I say?

There is this as well.

Also, I don't think I'm the only one seeing this. JK at the end going in for a hug, but JM, reaches out for a hand shake and a bow.

He bows.

Twice.

Now, the not going in for a hug could be one of two with JM. The first could be that it was too emotionally charged and that hug, in front of the cameras, will just be too hard. Too hard not to show the emotions. Too hard to break off.

Or, the second could be that by doing this, bowing the way he did do JK, he was showing us, the spectators, just how profoundly thankful he was for JK, and for his participating in the song.

Now that I think of it there could be a third reason. Which would be the combination of the two.

You know what I also noticed there?

That JK didn't bow back.

So, that's more or less what happened with them in the documentary. Not too much talking, when there is it's subdued, understandably so, given this is all done in front of the cameras. But, there is an undertone of emotions there.

Oh, and did I mention we see JM wearing the very important, at the time, necklace throughout the documentary? On that day of recording as well.

And happy little coincidence them wearing the black and white bucket hats? Lol.

Ok then. By now we all know that JK joined the live. And he does it exactly when they started letter. Quelle surprise. Quelle coincidence. Or was it?

Observations:

JK is too skinny. JM thought so too all while grabbing his tiddy.

JK is really tired. Said he was practicing. Eyes red. He needs to eat and sleep.

JM was genuinely surprised by JK's appearance. Th way he lights up, he was surprised and giddy and excited, his whole body movement, practically dancing in his seat with glee.

JK walks in holding his right hand in place. At first I thought maybe it was injured or hurt or unable to move, a cramp maybe, like the ones JM suffers from at times. But later on it looked like there was nothing wrong with his arm. So was that his way of holding himself back? Restraining himself? Containing himself?

JM signals for JK to talk into his mic,

Pulls the mic up forward away from his chest, and as JK comes closer he lets it go and leans back for JK to move in.

And JK, well why? The mic is right there. Why does he lean in lower? To say hello to Army? Talking to JM's what? Not the mic, that's for sure...

There did not seem to be a chair there next to JM when the live started, and when JK was leaving JM had him take a chair with him. So, as JK came into frame were the staff assuming he's going to be joining JM for the rest of the live? Also making sure to hand him a mic?

And then, JM asks JK "why did you lose so much weight?", all while reaching out his arm, and JK moves forward towards him, and you can see JK's eyes moving down to JM's arm all while JM just goes for JK's chest. Just going straight for the grab.

And JK, he loses it for just a second.

Sniff, gulp, giggle...

And we are back.

JK laughingly tells us he just practiced. But kind of still dumbfounded I guess.

And then I think JM came to as well (you know, awakening from the aftershock of his own actions, lol) and tells JK "time to go", or more so "get the fuck out of here as fast as you can and take that chair with you while you're at it, cause if you don't leave now I'm going to jump your bones right here right now".

Ok, so maybe he didn't say those words exactly, but that was the sentiment, lol.

JM apologises. Thrice.

For sending JK on his way.

And we get the hug. One of those Jikook in front of the camera hugs.

And again JM rushes JK to leave, smacking his butt while he's at it.

JK grabs the chair, tells JM to enjoy watching with Army and tells us he loves us on the way out. And JM sitting there watching JK, giggling, smile plastered on his face, waving by. But that isn't the end of it.

Because as JK leaves JM follows him with his gaze, until he waves him goodbye and only then gets back to the documentary.

And this is when we lost JM for a few minutes there during that part of the documentary, and even more so when JK was on screen singing or during their interactions.

And we also got this reaction to their hug.

What was going through your mind at that moment JM?

After JK leaves there is not too much left until the end of the documentary. And then we have a JM giggles attack. And the man is telling us he's laughing about balloon placements, but seriously, do we really think that's it?

And yes, JM was as always his own shy self while going it alone, and yes, he was finding it hard where to go with the live once the video was over, but this was just more than just plain embarrassment or shyness.

Could there have been someone there waiting for him? Someone that has that kind of effect on JM perhaps?

I don't think JK was there the whole time. He really did leave when JM was waving him goodbye (if he hadn't have left JM wouldn't have been able to get back to the documentary the way he did). But possibly, very possibly, lover boy went to shower and came back in time for JM's ending.

JM tells us during that giggle attack that he will post a pic of the funny balloons only to later post a pic of 19 balloons, the ones in the front shaped like an S. And why do I feel like that was JK's doing? The S shaped balloons...

Clearly the balloons were not placed that way at first.

Someone did this. Question is which one of them. The S, the 19, not a coincidence.

I guess that's it for this post.

Like I mentioned, I know I probably forgot stuff, and there will probably several posts to follow.

But I just needed to get this one out there for you guys. And I guess we'll add on as we go (especially seeing that I've reached my image limit here, as usual).

To sum this up.

WOW!!!

[kudouusagi]

You know, watching episode 11 of bucchigiri, it was very difficult to see Zabu being beaten like that, poor thing. I wonder how they are going to end this story with just one episode, there are a lot of meaningless things I think I only see three alternatives. 1. an open ending with Matakara and Arajin making peace but going their separate ways (matakara) and maybe a 2nd season with arajin trying to get him to be a honki again. 2. Matakara and Arajin don't make peace and are murdered like Senya and Ichiya and they turn into geniuses and try to fight again like Senya and Ichiya. 3. For me, I most wanted Matakara's brother not to die and return and save Matakara from ruin. What worries me in the end is how they are going to make an acceptable and good ending for Matakara because he did a lot of bad things. What worries me are the consequences. sorry for the text.

It was hard to watch Zabu being beaten... I hope he's still alive because at the rate this shows going I'm not sure he is.

My problem with this story is they've kept all the actual plot for the end and so people lost interest before any plot even happened, but even the plot we've been given hasn't been explained well enough.

I still don't know what honki people actually are. What happens when they become honki people? Earlier in the series Arajin asked Senya if he was a honki person and he said he is a man who came the closest to being one. I started making a post about all the awkward translations in this series but I stopped (I got demotivated about the series in general, but I've also been having a lot of personal problems... I was hospitalized for my mental health for about a week this month >.>) I started like 10 posts about this series that have just been stuck in my drafts the whole time lol

Here's part of that post

So we saw they banned people from attempting to become honki people... but I have no idea why because nobody has become one before.... and I don't know what would happen if they did lol. I don't know how him and Ichiya then became majin either. I saw they got shot and died... and for other people to be able to use their power of strength, they must shoot themselves with the guns that killed them... why? Who knows.

Why did Arajin have to shoot himself again? I have no idea. I didn't see him loose the bullet he had. All that happened was he told Senya to go away. Is that all it takes to make him go away?? Arajin didn't even want Senya there the whole time, so why was he there at all? I don't know. But apparently he needed to shoot himself again to get him back lol. Up until then people had been having the bullet ricochet around the room so I didn't know what would happen if he just directly shot himself like that, but apparently that worked the same as it ricocheting.

So my theory is that the two genies will take over Arajin and Matakara's bodies... they'll fight... probably become honki people because nobody will be there to shoot people for trying to become honki people again, and then maybe we'll finally figure out wtf was wrong with Ichiya to begin with that he decided he had to fight Senya and risk getting killed to do it. I felt like he was possessed by the shadow thing like Matakara was afraid of because when Makatara was scared of it, it looked to me like it was inside of Ichiya.

Matakara thought the "monster" disappeared when he kicked it, but Ichiya just moved behind him and looked possessed.

But with the way things are going, I don't even expect this series to explain that. They've literally explained nothing.

[mythicalartistx]

KH Japanese Translations Part 6

Part 5

Series where I discuss fantranslations and this time it's on Vanitas

Ever since seeing Vanitas backstory in the novels I became more interested in him, I already loved him as a character but the novels really increased that. So I'm going to look at some of the fantranslated kh3 scenes

Everyone knows how the translations can be off, now translations aren't perfect in general but its kinda odd when there are entirely new meanings or censored in the localization.

I'm glad I looked up translations for his death because it's so much more. It's more about freedom to choose and it's not even about darkness that much.

Sora: That face is—

Vanitas: I am Ventus' missing piece. You made up for the missing part of Ventus' heart. That's why my appearance came from you. I am made from you both, Ventus and Sora. We're brothers who make up for what the other lacks.

Sora: If you think that, why are you fighting us? We should be working together

Vanitas: It's my reason for being born. It is because I am darkness, that you both belong to the light, able to exist there. If that isn't 'working together' I don't know what is.

Sora: But I never—

Ventus: But I never asked for that.

Ventus: There's no need to divide which one is the light and which one is the darkness. I am me and you are you, just live freely the way we want.

Vanitas: Freedom? Ah, I am living freely... like this.

Ventus: Is living trapped in darkness freedom to you?

Vanitas: That's the way I chose to live

Ventus: I see

Sora: Is that really okay? Vanitas!

And it's just great, it's bittersweet. I like it a lot more. It shows that Vanitas decides to be trapped with darkness and is working with them so they could live and exist in the light. And it makes me wonder if he wasn't, would Sora and Ventus be unable to exist or live in the light. That's just something. All three of them affect the others. And these FT explains the appearance better and how they relate to the other.

I spent time looking at fan translations through various websites, people's comments, old posts, YouTube videos comments— and especially content relating to SR because those are the people who tend to care more.

Eng:

Sora: Your face!

Vanitas: I am the piece of Ventus that was taken away. And you're the piece Ventus needed to be whole again. So why shouldn't you and I look exactly the same? You define me Sora, the same way Ventus does. We are brothers who together, make a greater whole.

Sora: Then why don't you stand by our side instead with darkness?

Vanitas: Because I am darkness. And I do stand by your side. I'm the shadow that you cast. How much closer could I be?

Sora: But I didn't —

Ventus: But I didn't ask for this. To be sifted apart nice and neat. We should be free to choose. Not just light, not just darkness. We decide what we are.

Vanitas: But Ventus, I did decide who I am. You see?

Ventus: And what you are is darkness ?

Vanitas: What I am is darkness

Ventus: Okay

Sora: How is that okay? Vanitas?

And there's differences and it's honestly moreso the whole concept about freedom to choose is left out. The official translation focuses on darkness and him being darkness because that's what he is when it's honestly not just that. I feel like he's more than just darkness but that's my take. The JPN also explains how Vanitas appearance is better and the separation between Ven and Vanitas as well was stated better as well.

And I bring it up because I once was talking about how I thought the ships were odd because he calls them his brothers and someone mentioned that it was just an English translation thing, people can ship whatever they want I'm not here to stop that but does that mean the person say something incorrect?

Now I'm going through the monster's inc where Vanitas realizes where Ven is and he says this line.

JPN:

Vanitas: Ventus! So you were hiding in such a place all along, remnant of my heart.

ENG:

Vanitas: Ventus. What a strange place to slither off to... you insignificant speck

Now I want to point out how the phrasing in such a place is said as an insult. It is stated that somewhere like that is worthless as if Sora is worthless. Then he insults him by saying you are little of his heart. Like he isn't worth much. The changes here make sense and it kinda flows better. Like insignificant speck is an insult that clearly from the way the original statement was said.

Final Words:

As much as it would be interesting to have Roxas also there, it wouldn't really fit. The only relation he has to Vanitas is through Sora by looking the same as Ventus. Roxas is a great character but for that scene in particular it made sense that he wasn't present. Now it be cool if we got a reaction to seeing him in another scene.

Sora is the one that helped both Ven and Vanitas. He saved both of their hearts. Vanitas gained his form and appearance by Sora ability to connect with them. Sora saved Ven's heart from being destroyed and Vanitas—a being that was with Ven so long merged with his heart that when he was taken out it affected Ven. This is stated in re: mind, speaking of remind someone said something that I honestly think is interesting:

Post Notes:

I once heard that Vanitas referring to them as brothers was only a localization thing so I wanted to look into that, but I couldn't find anything through all the sources I used. I even listen to jpn audio and he still says kyōdai which means brother. Not sure why someone once said that

And I bring it up because It was about how I thought the ships were odd because he calls them his brothers and someone mentioned that it was just an English translation thing, and they aren't like that in the JPN version people can ship whatever they want I'm not here to stop that but it seems like they still do so why did that person say it?

Unless they're referring the the remind scene when Ven is like we're not brothers we're the same but Vanitas tells him you're naïve for believing that I've been with you for a long time and is another being entirely. But that's all the English version and I didn't really look at any translations for that scene... If anyone does know more about that scene....

Also Vanitas is my second favorite character now 😌

[agent99galanzo]

Frozen in ice |Natasha x Reader

An: it's my first time writing so please your opinion and rebloging matters to help me grow, but only the nice once though I don't count any of your negativity things

Ps. English is not my first language

Reposting and translating my work to any other language is not allowed and any other kind of copycat stuff is prohibited. Happy reading Fellas.

-----------------------------

Just like any other stressful day here in the compound Me and Steve just got back from a last minute undercover operation on a fancy ball in Costa Rica.

After finishing the debriefings and giving the file to Nick and Hill.

we start our trek back into the living quarters area.

And we're currently talking about the things that happened in our lives.

While I'm still wearing a fitted black dress that has a long slit to the side under my coat and also some black high heels

And steve is still also wearing his navy blue suit

"So it's been a while since the incident happened between you and agent Sharon Carter.... any new people you seem to have interest with or some?" I tell Rogers.

"No... and why you seem so interested in my love life?"

"Nothing,just asking because seems like the lady from the diner we went into last day couldn't take her eyes of you and.... I can't believe I'm saying this but she's kinda cute".I smirked at the last part

Steve glance at me " You mean the woman that served us or the lady at the counter? "

"The curly haired woman that served us"

"Huh... yeah she's nice the one with nose piercing?"

"Yeah... Why? You also found her you know... Intresting or something?"

I raised a brow and smirk

"Kinda but the piercing yeah... not ready for that"

"Huh... So if she doesn't have you know any piercing or whatever on her head that is hanging, I mean would you... go for it.... "

"No"

I raised a brow and looked at him

"why?"

Before he could even answer an agent greets us when we enter the lift

"It's just that... it's hard to find someone you hade the same life experiences as you"

"Huh.... you have a point, but if you find that someone or anyone how would you like approach them?" I ask.

The lift opens and we head our way to the dining area

He raised an brow and looked at me "You mean flirt with them?"

"Yeah, Not like Flirt flirt more like you... know...something like how to approach them "

"Why did you ask

I look at him and say

"Nothing... just you know curiosity kills a pig that's all... plus I wanna know how much practice you had"

They reach the dining area where everyone was

"Practice I don't need practice. Why on earth would I need that?"

Natasha Pov's

After a long ass stressful day here in the compound it finally dinner time .

"Hey nat"

wanda greets as she is the one who first acknowledge my appearance, followed by the others.

"Hey" I greet back to them and also notice that both Y/n and Rogers are not here.

'Huh... wierd' I said to my self knowing that Rogers is not that late type of person.

His actually already here with the others every time I arrive that is why it's so strange.

And also Y/n the woman I secretly like for quite a long time now. They must be on a mission.

I mean who wouldn't like her she's beuatiful like me of course.... ,Ok fine as much as it pains me to say this but I gotta admit she is even prettier than me and she is also hot as hell she could be a Victoria Secret model if she is not an agent.

I wonder what type of creature or god mold her perfect beauty.

And also she's clever, wise, smartass, sassy, and maybe  many people would say that she's rude but the truth is she's really kind and caring in her on way.

She doesn't like to show to people but I've seen it quite a few times when we went on a mission and also,when we went grocery shopping she bought like a whole separate grocery basket for a homeless person 2 kilometers  away from here at the compound.

I snap back to reality when someone tap my shoulder "Romanoff", I  quickly twist there arm and bring them to the ground

"OH MY GOD!!"

" SWEET! LORD! JESUS!"

" MY!! GOD!!ROMANOFF!"

"ROMANOFF EASY!!"

"NATASHA"

Then I realized that is was Barton who tap my shoulder and also the that I bring to the ground.

I let go of him and help them get up.

"Jesus clint are you planning to give me a heart attack and that's what you get for scaring me."

"Ok.. first of all that hurts" he said as he rolls around his shoulder.

"And second of all I've been calling you for about a minute straight and your not responding... so sorry if I scared the living shit out of you.." he said as we sat back down

"Whatever..."

"What got you so far from your mind?"

"Nothing"

"We both know that, that nothing means something"

"So what is it"

But before I could answer an arrival of people interrupted us.

And... they have arrive

"Practice I don't need practice. Why on earth would I need that?"

Y/n Pov

"I didn't say anything about you needing practice. I ask about how much practice.... ok let's not say practice 'cuase now I think that's sound so trifling... let's just say... experience. There 'experience'... now let me rephrase the question and answer it. Steve Grant Rogers How much experience have you had with flirting with somebody in your time back then

"Fine many than once."

There satisfied?"

"Oh... real-" before I could finish I didn't realised that everybody is already here.

"Hey you two... how was the mission " Tony ask

"Fine everything goes as

planned. " steve said

"Yup.. Ahuh.. everything goes as planned" I said sarcastically while rolling my eyes.

"What... everything did go as planned" steve answered.

"Yeah everything except the distracting the woman part"

"Well what happened"

"Let's just say I instructed him to flirt with the woman at the bar so I can swooped in and get the USB from the back,but guess what"

"What...? What happened did he peed on his pants" Sam chimed in

"Haha that's hilarious sam"

"I know right"

"No thank God he didn't, but it looks like he almost did" I said smiling

"No. I did not "

I just smiled at him "What matter is we execute and did the job done on time without causing any harm".

"Awhh look at you covering up how awful your flirting skills are..." I said with a sass.

"I- whatever you say. In my defence I did my best to that woman and... the woman wasn't even invlove there".

I smile at him "I know just wanna see how fast can you go from bieng a 0-10... and my..my... if I may say I would rate it a 5 if you aren't that good looking"

"Ouch"

I walked pass him towards the fridge to get my self some refreshing water before turning around to look at him straightin the eye." Looks like your body might be defrosted from the ice but your flirting capability hasn't...." I pause to drink.

"would you want me to go and do you a favor of going down there and check if it still frozen and defrost it for you so you can use it..??" I said it playfully.

He look at me with a slight annoyance in his face "whatever I'm gonna go take a shower" and walks away.

I laugh as he struts away.

"Very clever" Nat said and I just wink at her in response as I also walk away and grabbing my coat along the way to

Get change in my room.

And that dress was already enough to sweep Nat of the feet by the agent but damn she got got her by the hook with that wink.

_______________________

@romanoffsbish @dirtyvulture @natsarrownecklacx @natsfirecat @natsxaddiction @jedi-luca @darkwaveho @daddynattt @an-evergreen-rose @abbyromanoff @twilight-99-tm @traveler-at-heart

[findafight]

Idk if you’re the person to send this to but like

The whole thing with Murray’s comments and Nancy and Jon getting together…. It is set up in such a way that it can be read as a situation where an ambitious teenage girl was pressured into what she was “supposed” to be. Nancy was told by a man that she respected and who took her seriously (and was the ONLY one to do so, so Murray gained an untold amount of trust from Nancy immediately, and the show just brushing off their relationship is such a loss but ok), that in order to be her real self she must dump Steve. Now Murray was just poking at two teenagers with a metaphorical stick to see what would they do. Understandable position, as a younger sister haver love doing that also (not with romantic feelings though but Murray was never meant to be ethical). I doubt that what the comment meant for him can be easily translated into what it meant for Nancy (let alone Jon, who thinks that he is better than most people and that he is definitely better than Steve, so I imagine he was nodding along). But he did influence her into becoming an investigative journalist. Like Murray with him taking Nancy seriously influenced her into two major life altering decisions (career and significant other). Like wow. And they never interacted again! Fucking hate st continuity.

Like Nancy dumping Steve because Murray told her to do so is a major thing. It’s BAD for jancy. Before s4 I thought that they were not mentioning it because jancy happened and was the endgame. But with them toying with stancy and likely knowing that they might toy with stancy all along??? Why did they not leave it open to interpretation. It’s such a juicy storyline, it shows the magnitude of the influence that you can have on a teenage girl, it’s beautiful, it’s painful, it’s the stuff of a real love-triangle (which is hard to make interesting but that would make it interesting!!!). Why did they write it then??? Whyyyyyy?????

oooooh that's so interesting anon!

I am much more of a murray fan when he is being a weird gay conspiracy uncle guy and isn't matchmaking, it must be said.

He and Nancy have the potential for a really interesting dynamic! It really is a shame we don't get to see more of it tbh. and you are so right in what his comment meaning to him and what it meant to Nancy and Jon separately would be so different! I don't know if Nancy would necessarily feel pressured by it, (though I wouldn't say she wasn't, either) but maybe it would vindicate something of how she was feeling about her relationship with Steve at the time and her feelings for Jonathan? Like a "oh this man I respect and who takes me seriously also thinks Jonathan is better for me, thinks I should go for it. Maybe I will..." kind of thing?

And lol yeah so true Jon just had his own conception of himself and Steve and their relationships with Nancy confirmed by Murray. he just kinda got...permission? I guess? to make a move on Nancy even though he was the one bringing up Steve both times he's mentioned on the road trip.

Totally see where you're coming from of Murray's influence not being mentioned because you figured Jancy was endgame, makes sense (if boring) to not question it if it doesn't need to be addressed as an issue because the pairing is canon for the rest. But now the teen love triangle has been brought back.... you're so right it is bad for Jancy. It brings up stuff about them that a lot of people (especially the Duffers!) don't want to deal with or acknowledge. Though I don't think they were planning the whole time to bring stancy back I think that sort of happened because the duffers unfortunately don't know what to do with Nacy if she doesn't have a boy to look at and Steve when he isn't pining over Nancy.

There's not enough time left to fully and satisfyingly delve into the issues between the original older teens, especially since some of those issues aren't treated as issues. It would be interesting to see, and also so so juicy, the complicated relationship they have with each other because of the UD etc, but I don't think a whole lot of interesting canon material will come from it (though that doesn't mean fan content can't!!) just based on how other romantic relationships and their dynamics with each other have been treated through the show. tbh I think maybe s5 will tease the love triangle but ultimately either end up with them all single (my preference) or with Jancy still together.

[disgruntledkittenface]

✨️ Twenty Questions for Fic Writers ✨️

Thank you @allwaswell16 and @haztobegood for tagging me! I love reading everyone's answers to these <3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

60, including one cowrite

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

831,513

3. What fandoms do you write for?

One Direction. I use the BBC Radio 1 RPF tag for pairings with Nick Grimshaw, and I used the Shawn Mendes (Musician) one a few times, too.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

you came into my life, caught up in your love affair, baby, you're the end of june, an honest mistake and tell me what you need

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! I love replying to comments, even when I feel awkward about it. I really like getting replies from authors, I find it discouraging not to, so that's partly why. But a nice comment really makes me day, and I want to let people know I appreciate that. But I might miss one occasionally, and sometimes I don't reply if I think the commenter is being rude.

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

It's probably my first fic, This Town. The whole fic is Niall processing Zayn leaving the band – but more importantly leaving him, and they don't get back together in the end. It's not my fault, Niall wrote a sad song! But also I was in the thick of grieving, so. That's what happened.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I almost, almost always write happy endings, so I could really pick this one at random lol, but I'll go with enough to make a girl blush. I really love how far Louis has come at the end of that fic and how happy she and Niall are together and how good they are together. Plus, I wrote a happy little timestamp for Harry and Zayn (count me in).

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I've gotten comments that don't sit well with me, but not really. I did post a fic set at the beginning of COVID before I knew how bad it would get, and someone messaged me to say they were sorry about the hate it was getting... but I didn't see any?

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

yes! I write smut that I find hot, girl direction and boy direction. When I started writing, I felt like I wrote absolutely terrible smut and I worked really hard to figure it out. Practice makes progress, baby.

10. Do you write crossovers? What the craziest one you've written?

I've written a couple of reality show AUs with the actual people from the shows in the fic – you came into my life and you wanna be on top? Nothing too crazy!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I think someone stole a shiall one-shot and posted it on Wattpad. Weirdly, I feel like I haven't made it because that doesn't happen to me more often.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes! Most recently, someone asked if they could translate pink like the paradise found into Russian and they were so lovely.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I took part in a round robin for Nic's (@louandhazaf) birthday a few years ago! (Louis referring to merlot as the basic bitch of wines was me!) Co-writing has come up as an idea a couple of times, but the timing or idea etc has never been right.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

I kind of have to fall deep for a pairing to write them, so I love a lot of pairings! Aside from larry, I think gryles might be my favorite. Something about the pining best friends who can't be together because of... REASONS just gets me where I live.

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I had an idea for a lilo exes to lovers AU based on bennifer and I wrote a snippet that I really liked for it, but I felt like I was white washing Jennifer Lopez, if that's the right word? Like you can't separate her from the fact that she's Puerto Rican, so casting Louis in that role didn't feel right. I could try to figure out another way to approach it, but I don't really think I'll feel inspired enough.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm really good at continuity, and writing scenes with lots of people and involving all of them.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I always feel like I start sentences with "Niall did this" and "Harry did that" (sorry, writing narry at the moment). So, narration that's not action? Does that make sense?

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I think it can be done effectively. I liked how the French worked in Darling, so it goes. It made sense to include because Harry moved to a country where he didn't speak the language. I tried to make the meaning of the French clear when Harry understood it, but I didn't include translations in the notes because Harry didn't understand a lot, and I wanted the reader in his shoes. I worked really hard on the French because I don't speak it, but I asked @somethingwittyorother to look it over and their feedback was incredibly helpful.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

One Direction!

20. Favorite fic you've written?

It's usually the last fic that I posted, so right now it's Suddenly Last Summer. I had the best time writing it and it was such a fulfilling creative outlet, and I just love it.

I'll tag: @crinkle-eyed-boo @uhoh-but-yeah-alright @neondiamond @kingsofeverything @louandhazaf @absoloutenonsense @homosociallyyours @nouies @onlythebravest

[billfarrah]

So I finished my first Young Royals rewatch in a long time and I have thoughts - Part 1: Wilhelm

So I did not realize initially how much I would run my mouth so I’m actually going to separate my thoughts about the characters into different posts starting with Wilhelm. If this post does well, I’ll do it about the other characters too, because tbh I have a lot to say about everyone:

- First of all I cannot emphasize enough how much watching the whole series from start to finish just hits different. After so many months of just looking at gifs and photos, I am always blown away when I eventually rewatch the show as a whole by good it is. It’s the show’s vibes and atmosphere, cinematography, music, and fantastic pacing that make the show so compelling and that just doesn’t translate when you don’t watch the whole thing. I’m always worried I won’t like the show as much on my next rewatch and I’m always floored by just how much I love it every time.

- This point isn’t directly related to Wilhelm but I wanted to address it as I just noticed it this time. I’ve always suspected that the drugs the society are on in episode 4 are painkillers, but I’ve seen most people believing they were taking the ADHD meds. On rewatch, it’s very clear they’re using painkillers. In episode 2, I just noticed Simon steals Tramadol from Micke - which is a fast-release opiate painkiller. That can get you high as fuck. Many people take them recreationally as a way to get high and they’re a common source of addiction. Micke has a bad back we presume as Simon asks him how his back is in episode 1, but obviously Simon thinks Micke takes them recreationally. In the society party scene, the boys are taking the pills from the prescription bottles, which are likely also painkillers. So no, they weren’t using ADHD meds to get high; they were using opiates. Are these drugs illegal? No, but taking them for recreational purposes would definitely get you in a lot of shit if you were caught with them at a boarding school, or any school for that matter. As far as Simon only feeling responsible to pay Micke back for the booze and not the pills, I am not Swedish so I don’t know how it works, but from what I researched, one does not need to pay more than 2,300 krona per year for prescriptions, and most of Micke’s drugs were probably free as they are all prescription. Please correct me if I’m wrong.

- Anyway, I fucking love Wilhelm as a protagonist. I love how raw, gritty and unapologetic he can be. I could talk about his character for hours. He’s so nuanced and he rarely says what he is thinking or feeling, so I can understand why some viewers perhaps had a hard time connecting with him, but if you pay attention to his actions, everything he does makes sense without him needing to say a single word. I love that his sexuality is actually one of the few things about himself that he’s genuinely comfortable with; yeah, he has a few minutes of gay panic and he does push Simon away because he worries having a relationship with him would be too complicated, but Wilhelm’s feelings and sexual attraction for a boy is never the main thing he is concerned about and he is actually extremely comfortable with expressing that side of himself. He is elated by Simon, euphoric; he is electric with Simon beneath his hands. He’s in love with a boy and he knows it; that’s not what scares him - it’s the implication of what being in love with a boy means in the context of the rest of his life where the problem lies. It’s so refreshing to see a queer protagonist be so unabashed and expressive in his sexuality.

- Wilhelm’s dilemma is very clear despite, like I said above, him rarely verbalizing his feelings. The first episode makes his position perfectly clear - it’s not that he has an issue being a prince, he just hates how little control he has over his life, how little say he has in decisions that impact him, and the fact that he’s constantly being punished and scrutinized for the tiniest slip-ups. Wilhelm is ultimately just a person who wants control over his own life; he does not resent his privilege at all but rather the restrictions that come with it. When he gets into a fight at a party that wasn’t even his fault, he has to make a public apology and is sent to boarding school without being consulted by his parents, because they feel it is what he needs to do to save the image of the family. When he gets to Hillerska, Erik tells him essentially to just do whatever August tells him to do, even though Wilhelm clearly does not like August. When Wilhelm starts making his own friend in Simon, August is constantly meddling and telling him he shouldn’t be spending time with someone like him, and admonishes him for going to the football game with Simon and even gives him punishment for it. Even though Wilhelm is away from the palace and his family, he still has August there trying to act like he knows better than him and telling him how he should act.

Now enter Simon. As viewers, we have discussed at length how Simon completely shakes up Wilhelm’s world and perspective already so I won’t rehash that. However, there was one scene that stood out to me in connection with the above paragraph, and it’s one where Wilhelm does something that probably would be considered “bad” or a “mistake”, and Simon does not punish him for it. I’ve seen some people say Simon went too easy on him for calling him high and drunk on the football field, and I disagree; I think Simon’s reaction was exactly what Wilhelm needed, As I said above, Wilhelm is constantly being criticized and torn apart with consequences for even the tiniest or most minute thing, so for Simon to smile softly at him, tell him it’s okay and that he still likes him probably moved fucking mountains for Wilhelm. He did something stupid and he’s not getting scolded for it? Simon actually has compassion for him AND still likes him? No wonder Wilhelm immediately put himself between Simon’s legs. Wilhelm is a kid and he deserves to be a little bit reckless without being judged or admonished for it, and no, I don’t think him calling Simon was wrong or traumatic for Simon. Wilhelm was in a fragile state and Simon was concerned for him; he was not triggered, but I’ll get to that if I end up making a Simon post.

- Wilhelm is not shy. He has his moments of anxiousness and he is a bit awkward around Simon at first because he has a crush on him, but Wilhelm is actually very good at talking to people; he just doesn’t want to a lot of the time. He’s an introvert and he doesn’t really have patience for bullshit. I find people portray him as some shy little baby, but he’s actually quite blunt and curt sometimes in a way that I find amusing. He just genuinely has no patience for the frivolities and fakeness around him and while he knows how to play the game very well, he would rather just keep to himself than do so. His behaviour during his arrival to Hillerska is actually quite rude; he rolls his eyes when the PR lady tells him and the Headmistress to switch places for a better photo, utterly annoyed by the manufactured nature of it all. This isn’t me trying to say Wilhelm is a rude person; he isn’t and is actually very kind, but he isn’t always shy over expressing his displeasure; he just doesn’t do it all the time.

- People are too harsh on Wilhelm for most things, but one that stands out for me is his and Simon’s fight in the music room. Wilhelm came at the argument from a bad angle, yes, but he tries to make it right; unfortunately he struck a nerve with Simon and Simon walked away. He never once says he thinks Simon should take the fall; he just wants to have a dialogue with Simon over what their options are, but Simon was already angry and didn’t want to talk. He really did try to communicate with him.

- By the time of Lucia, Wilhelm is deflated. He is exhausted. He was terrified of losing Simon so he did what any privileged person would do, the only thing he knew how to do (and perhaps what was the only thing he could’ve done) - blame someone else. Simon still isn’t happy with him. Wilhelm doesn’t know what to do anymore. He feels like everything he does is wrong, he is wrong, he’s not cut out for anything. He doubts every decision he makes. All he wants is control over his own life but even when he takes matters into his own hands, it blows up in his face. This is why he was so easily manipulated into denying the video; he’s been through so much in such a short period of time and is questioning every decision he’s making. He doesn’t know what’s right or wrong anymore. Maybe his mother is right.

- I love that the writers weren’t afraid to make Wilhelm messy. To me there is nothing interesting about a protagonist that does the right thing every time because there is no room for them to grow. Wilhelm is such a fantastic protagonist because he has so much growing up to do. He makes mistakes and he’s a bit self-centered and caught up in his own world and he hurts Simon because of that, but he’s also motivated by incredibly pure feelings of love, passion, desire for his own autonomy and acceptance, control over himself and the things in his life. He is kind at heart but occasionally callous, he is anxious but also incredibly strong and powerful when he needs to be, he’s a giddy teenage boy in love but leaves Simon breathless with his confident mouth and hands. He is not just one thing all the time and that’s why he’s so exciting to me.

- During the scene where Wilhelm exposes August in front of the society, Edvin’s acting is particularly brilliant; we see that he has a powerful, assertive side to his personality, and is capable of being a leader, but you can also see in his body language and expression that he is a little bit anxious about it. His arms are crossed and his jaw twitches a bit; he’s working through his anxiety to do what he thinks is right, and we see him do this so many times throughout the series 0 most notably when he works through his anxiousness to connect with Simon, a boy he’s so desperately drawn to. He is not a shy uwu baby and he is not always crippled by his anxiety; it’s just a part of him.

This got away from me completely as I just have so many thoughts about this show. Please let me know if you’d like to me see talk about the other characters.

[eyedelater]

this important scene between koito, tsurumi, and tsukishima at goryokaku (chapter 295) was greatly changed in golden kamuy volume 30. the volume version is above. i decided to translate and then analyze it.

EH scans translated the magazine version of the manga as it was being released, so they haven't done this version, to my knowledge. and VIZ hasn't gotten this far in their official translation yet. so neither of my main sources have done it! that's why i'm translating these pages. i don't know if anyone else has translated this. if someone has, then you can look at their translation AND mine and compare them if you want. (and you can send me a link to their version.)

i want to show you the magazine version for comparison. this is the translation by EH scans:

you'll notice that the page count increased by two for the volume version. you'll also notice that the first and last pages haven't changed at all; i only included them for context because that's the whole scene.

while reading the raw manga, i had intended to check on one of the lines in this scene to see what it said in japanese and compare the translation. the line in question was the one where tsurumi talks about entrusting things to splendid koito. but that line is completely obliterated in the volume version, and i can't find the raw magazine version of this particular chapter, so i'll forget about that forever i guess. it doesn't matter because it's not canon anymore.

now, because i love koito and tsukishima so much, i went to the trouble of typesetting these pages with my own translation. so i'll include them here for your reading pleasure, and THEN i'll go ahead with the inevitable overanalysis in terms of translation and plot significance.

(i typeset it clumsily and also committed the vile typesetting sin of not using an all-caps font. but paint 3d didn't have any all-caps fonts, okay?? i'm very lazy! i'm not gonna go download a font just for this. also i didn't really need to do the first and last pages here because nothing changed and EH scans translated it just fine, but for the sake of completionism, i did them anyway.)

so that's my translation, and you can just read that and walk away if you want. but i'll write a lot more anyway.

line by line translation notes

in order of speech bubble, by page. a slash / indicates a split in a compound speech bubble. a double slash // indicates two separate speech bubbles in one entry. transliterations are rough and not based on any real standard of romaji.

PAGE 1

raw: 月寒あんぱんのひとがついた甘い嘘… transliteration: tsukisappu anpan no hito ga tsuita amai uso… EH scans translation: The tsukisappu anpan person ended up telling sweet lies... my translation: The sweet lies that the Tsukisappu anpan person told... notes: it's a sentence fragment. it makes you think there's going to be a second part to the sentence, but there's not. because there's not, to avoid confusing the reader, EH scans turned it into a full sentence. that's fair. my translation is more literal, so i didn't turn it into a full sentence, but it doesn't sound as good... i guess i didn't need to retranslate this one if it doesn't sound any better... let's move along.

PAGE 2

raw: あなたは嘘をつきすぎて / 嘘で試した人間の「愛」しか本物と思えないのでは? transliteration: anata ha uso wo tsukisugite / uso de tameshita ningen no [ai] shika honmono to omoenai no de ha? my translation: Haven't you lied so much / that you can only believe someone's [love] is real after you've tested them with lies? notes: "love" here is "ai" 愛. it's the same love that tsurumi talks about with his judo teacher when he talks about inspiring love among his soldiers so they will actually kill instead of pretending to kill. it is not "koi" 恋 romantic love, but it is love in the broadest sense.

raw: 鯉登少尉! transliteration: koito shoui! my translation: Second Lieutenant Koito! notes: no translation notes, but tsukishima's face did get slightly altered, and the speech bubble has wavery edges now, and dramatic motion lines were added. it's an emotional exclamation!!!

PAGE 3

raw: 中央から見ればここにいる者たちは全員 / 政権転覆を図る反乱分子です transliteration: chuuou kara mireba koko ni iru monotachi ha zen'in / seiken tenpuku wo hakaru hanran bunshi desu my translation: From Central's point of view, all of the people here / are insurgents plotting to overthrow the government. notes: seiken "political administration," tenpuku "overturn/overthrow," hakaru "to plan, to plot, to strive for," hanran "insurrection, rebellion," bunshi "member(s), element(s)." this isn't the first time we've heard the phrase "hanran bunshi." in chapter 78 (volume 8), shortly after tsukishima kicks him and then yells at him for killing maeyama, ogata uses the phrase to describe tsurumi's men. i think a fair translation of "hanran bunshi" would be "rebel faction."

raw: 勝てば官軍負ければ賊軍 / この戦でなにも得られなければ transliteration: kateba kangun makereba zokugun / kono ikusa de nanimo erarenakereba my translation: If you win, you're in the right. If you lose, you're in the wrong. / If we gain nothing from this battle… notes: the first line must be an existing saying, because when i searched zokugun on jisho.org, it brought up that first sentence word for word as one of its example sentences. so i made that the translation, word for word... you know, cos it's an existing saying... plus it's nice and concise...

raw: 我々は軍の裏切り者として裁かれる transliteration: wareware ha gun no uragirimono toshite sabakareru my translation: …we will be judged as traitors to the military.

raw: 私たち親子がここまで来たのは / 自分たちの選択ですからどうなっても受け入れます transliteration: watashitachi oyako ga koko made kita no ha / jibuntachi no sentaku desukara dounattemo ukeiremasu EH scans translation: The fact that my father and I have come this far… / That was the choice we ourselves made, so I can accept whatever comes of it. my translation: My father and I have come this far by choice. / Whatever happens, we will accept it. notes: i learned the word sentaku 選択, meaning "choice, option." it is different from sentaku 洗濯, meaning "laundry." also it seems that this line was not changed in the volume version; it was only moved around. that's why there's an EH scans translation for this entry. i would say their translation is slightly more accurate, but i'm happy with the concise way i phrased it.

raw: だがもしもの時は部下たちを中央から守るために… / 私はあなたを… transliteration: daga moshimo no toki ha bukatachi wo chuuou kara mamoru tame ni… / watashi ha anata wo… my translation: But if circumstance demands it, in order to protect my subordinates from Central… / I will … notes: "moshimo no toki" refers to unexpected circumstances. moshimo = what if, toki = time, so it's a "what if time." you could translate it as "if anything happens," and i was about to, but i had already used the word "happens" in the last speech bubble and i didn't want it to echo. so i took a liberty and made it sound cooler. as for the second half of the speech bubble, the literal translation is "i will ... you" and the verb is left unsaid. you can imagine the verb implied would be either "stop" or "kill." this is the pain of translation from SOV word order to SVO word order. also, there were very similar lines in the EH scans version, but because they didn't match precisely and i haven't seen the raws they were translating from, i couldn't be sure that the lines were exactly the same. so i didn't include EH scans's translation in this entry.

raw: 負けるつもりはない // すべて手に入れる transliteration: makeru tsumori ha nai // subete te ni haireru my translation: I do not intend to lose. // We will obtain everything we seek. notes: note that this is 100% different from the previous version where tsurumi tells koito to kill him. he just flat-out doesn't say that anymore. the first speech bubble is easy to translate. the second one isn't, or rather, it's hard to make it sound good? subete = everything, te ni haireru = to obtain. i took a minor liberty by making it a "we" pronoun because i think tsurumi would emphasize that his goals are for everyone's sake, not just his own. and i added "we seek" for clarity. also it sounds cooler.

PAGE 4

on this page, i changed the order of the contents of the speech bubbles to make it more of a cohesive sentence in english.

raw: 「私のちからになって助けてくれ」と // まっすぐにアタイを見てそげん言ってくいやっちょったら / そいでもついて行ったとに transliteration: [watashi no chikara ni natte tasukete kure] to // massugu ni atai wo mite sogen itte kuiyacchottara / soidemo tsuite itta toni my translation: All you had to do was look me in the eye and say, // [Stand with me and lend me your aid,] / and I would have followed you. notes: most prominent note is that koito lapses completely into satsuma dialect for the parts of the line that aren't in brackets. it isn't played as a joke this time; he is not speaking rapidly. tsurumi was able to understand him speaking like this when they first met, and he can understand him now. he says the bracketed part as what he wishes tsurumi would have said to him, and then he says the rest in dialect. "chikara ni naru" = "to be helpful, to be dependable, to stand by (someone)." if taken literally, "chikara ni naru" would mean "become my strength." but to my understanding, it does not have nearly the same intense connotations as the phrase "become my strength" does in english. i think. so that's the part i translated as "stand with me." then, "tasukete kure" means "help me, save me, assist me, support me." gotta figure out which verb makes the most sense in context. it's in the context of joining his team in a military sense, so it implies in the long term, and i think a phrase with a similar feeling that implies a longer term than "help" would be "lend me your aid." so that's how i arrived at "Stand with me and lend me your aid." this is a super important line; i'll write more about its significance down below. one more translation note: he says "massugu ni" (straightforward, frank, honest) with the verb "miru" (look at). so he's saying to "look at me straightforwardly." i phrased it as "look me in the eye" because that's what you do when you're looking at someone straightforwardly. honesty is the important implication (in contrast to sweet lies).

PAGE 5

raw: いくぞ月島 transliteration: ikuzo tsukishima EH scans translation: Let's go, Tsukishima. my translation: Let's go, Tsukishima. notes: could've also phrased it like, "We're leaving, Tsukishima." i have a feeling this line just slipped out of koito's mouth without any thoughts attached to it.

PAGE 6

raw: 月島? // 私の味方はもうお前だけになってしまったな? transliteration: tsukishima? // watashi no mikata ha mou omae dake ni natte shimatta na? EH scans translation: Tsukishima? // It seems you're the only ally I have left, doesn't it? my translation: Tsukishima? // Now you're the only ally I have left, aren't you? notes: tsurumi's use of "shimatta" carries the implication that this is how things have "ended up." a very literal translation could be, "my allies have now ended up becoming only you, huh?" but of course that doesn't sound natural, so it must be finagled. anyway, probably EH scans' version is better than mine. i just wanted to shed a little light on how you can translate the same sentence different ways and both can be right because japanese grammar is so different that there is no single direct counterpart.

plot analysis notes

i think it goes without saying that the changes to this scene are pretty significant in terms of the plot. some reasons are as follows:

when tsukishima calls out to koito in distress (page 2, second panel), it comes after a different line in this version. in the old version, he interrupts a line about koito and his father having come this far. there's not much significance to that except that he was maybe trying to stop koito from saying too much. but in this version, tsukishima cries out after koito's line about testing people with sweet lies. koito has come out and said too much right away. tsukishima is more upset this time because confronting tsurumi about sweet lies would reveal that tsukishima had talked to koito and given away the fact that the kidnapping was a ruse. tsukishima is distressed because he doesn't want tsurumi to think that he is turning on him as well.

new lines show that koito does understand the nature of tsurumi's rebellion against central. honestly it was kind of up in the air before this, given koito's earnest nature and the fact that his high-ranking father would have had to be in on it too. but now we know for sure that he understands. it's easy to look down on koito because he's so naive and emotional, but he's not stupid.

by changing this scene, noda-sensei makes the most of this confrontation, which is koito's last chance to have a calm conversation with tsurumi. (the only confrontation they have after this is when koito yells up at tsurumi on top of the train and tells him to set tsukishima free. but the subject matter is completely different at that time, and the tension is much higher, so that would be no time to bring up sweet lies again.) in terms of wrapping up the unresolved conflict of the kidnapping incident, it's gotta be this scene or nothing. in the altered scene, koito can now say what he wants to say to tsurumi about the kidnapping, make it clear he knows it was a lie, and gauge how tsurumi responds.

tsurumi no longer taunts koito (saying "kill me" when they both know he won't; implying that he would trust koito to carry on his plans because he's just that splendid when they both know he can't). those lines are tossed in the garbage and don't exist anymore. what he now says is short and simple, and it avoids the heart of the matter completely; he ignores 95% of what koito said and only focuses on one aspect (what might happen if they fail). koito hears this bad-faith response and understands that tsurumi will not voluntarily come clean about his lies. that's why he says his emotional next line and leaves it at that.

the line "Stand with me and lend me your aid" (「私のちからになって助けてくれ」) is a very important addition to this scene!!! the reason is that it is the line that koito says to tsukishima in the final chapter! (i haven't gotten there in the raw manga yet, but i've seen it A Lot in japanese fanart, so i recognized it right away.) that later line becomes a callback to this moment! i had no idea! if you had read the magazine version only (and i think we english language readers are all in the same boat in that respect), then you wouldn't have had the full context of that line in the final chapter. it is more satisfying and makes much more sense this way. and this line carries so much weight in both scenes. koito wishes that tsurumi would have earnestly asked for his help instead of tricking him with sweet lies. then, in the final chapter, koito earnestly asks tsukishima to join him by using that same line! it's a complete rejection of tsurumi's "sweet lies" modus operandi! there doesn't need to be any pretense between the two of them! they can just rely on each other honestly and with their whole hearts! (note: EH scans translated that line in the final chapter as, "Lend me your strength. I require your aid." that's good. i like mine better. maybe someone else could translate it even better. i really don't think VIZ will, though.)

tsukishima has an emotional reaction when koito says that. we get a whole new big panel of his face, so that's our cue to think about how tsukishima must feel at that moment. he looks surprised and thoughtful. i think he is impressed by koito's resolve and frankness and the way he made himself vulnerable in that moment by speaking his mind (in his native dialect). he must also be thinking about how this means that the whole kidnapping scheme was a waste of time and caused pain (and cost lives) for no reason. and he's probably thinking about how nice it would have been if tsurumi had said something like that to him instead of trapping him with sweet lies as well. it's a moment where tsukishima is struck by how koito is honest and honorable, and it stands in stark contrast to tsurumi (especially considering the monster that tsurumi has become). this moment helps us better understand why tsukishima sticks with koito at the end of the story.

the following was clear in the other version too, but when koito says it's time to go, tsukishima is clearly turning to follow him (he turns 180 degrees right in front of us). that's notable. first of all, i don't think koito said that and expected tsukishima to follow him in a "you better choose me or him right now!" kind of way. i think it slipped out. tsukishima has become a staple in his life, and he expects him to be at his side at all times, so he tried to walk away with him out of habit without considering what it would look like to tsurumi. on a similar note, i don't think tsukishima was about to follow koito in a "now we're turning our backs on tsurumi forever" kind of way. it was a kind of subconscious movement; he found himself turning to follow the person he really wanted to follow. and there are motion lines showing that he stops moving when tsurumi calls out to him. if tsurumi hadn't stopped him, i wonder how far he would have gotten before catching himself and thinking about how it would look to tsurumi if he followed koito out of the building.

it seems that that after this scene, koito isn't exactly working toward tsurumi's goals anymore. in the last panel of the last page here, he notices tsukishima isn't following him. that's probably when he thinks about the implications of trying to take tsukishima with him, so he goes off by himself. the next time we see him, he confronts fleeing shiraishi and fights nagakura on the bridge. but why is he doing that? maybe because he thinks tsurumi getting the land deed would be better for japan than if team hijikata kept it. it can't be blind allegiance to tsurumi at this point, right? and then a little later (after jumping in the moat), koito sees tsukishima riding away with tsurumi on horseback, so he follows them and ends up at the train. why does koito board the train and fight hijikata? is it still in pursuit of tsurumi's goals? or is it to protect his subordinates on the train, especially tsukishima? it has to be the latter, right? he doesn't do anything explicitly rebellious, but his allegiance to tsurumi is basically gone at that point, and that's why he is able to confront tsurumi in tsukishima's defense on the back of the train car. so in essence, the scene in this post was the final turning point in the relationship between koito and tsurumi. his goal has become "protecting his subordinates (especially tsukishima) from being sacrified by tsurumi."

in conclusion, i kinda wish noda-sensei wouldn't make sweeping changes to art AND dialogue in very important scenes... but i think this change was pretty good.

EDIT: i found out that piduai also translated these pages, and they ended up with a very similar translation to mine for that one important line! yeahh! i've discovered the MVP piduai! i encourage you to compare the translations.

[r0botic]

Giskard and Daneel's bond doesn't get as much attention as it deserves.

Elijah and Daneel this and Elijah and Daneel that, but can we talk about Daneel and Giskard? The amount of attention these two get is so little it makes me want to pull my hair out, they are best friends! Everyone look at them! I genuinely think the robots' bond was way stronger and more genuine than what Elijah and Daneel had. (Btw this is fully about The robot series only)

‼️(I *DON'T * ship neither Gis x Dan or Eli x Dan, saying this just in case.)‼️

Let's not forget they are robots, their relationship can be compared to something we humans have, but the comparision will never be fully accurate, as they are machines and lack emotions. That's also one of the reasons why their relationship is so fascinating to me.

It makes me smile how they always tried their best to keep the other safe, ESPECIALLY in The robots and empire.

The part where they held hands is so important. We know that Daneel is a humanoid robot, he thinks like a human at times, Giskard said it himself. So the fact it was Daneel offering the handshake and Giskard accepting it is just so adorable, considering the meaning behind it. Daneel was with Elijah often and if it wasn't programmed into him since the very start, he for sure had many opportunities to see how humans show affection and gratitude. So just imagine two robots trying to show their trust and loyalty to one another without knowing how to actually do it, so they imitate humans.

Giskard's preference to save Daneel over listening to Vasilia's orders and then explaining why he did it is probably my favourite scene in the whole series, he mentioned this "personal need" that helped him use the Zeroth law in practice, and Daneel saying he would do the same for him if the roles were switched? Sobbinggg

And don't even get me started on how they basically complete each other, they always come together, they can't be separated, it's Daneel and Giskard always and forever. Giskard is the one who gets the ideas and Daneel is the one who turns them into reality. They both needed each other, Giskard could alter emotions, had experience and a very specific way of thinking, Daneel understood human thinking and his mind was more flexible, which allowed him to think about things that Giskard wanted to think about but couldn't due to his restricted mind. If you connect these two you get an insanely strong duo, which is (SPOILER) in my opinion one of the reasons why Asimov decided to kill off Giskard. Imagine how crazy they could go with it if they both continued living after the last book.

Let's not forget about that one robot shooter attempt, Daneel immediately jumped on Giskard and knocked him down in order to save him from being shot. He didn't know that the aggressor was a robot, so he had to decide between saving Gladia and saving Giskard, accepting the risk of the other dying, and as it was mentioned in the book, he immediately went for Giskard. He had to break the first law and accept the risk of Gladia dying, because Giskard and what they yet had to achieve is something he (QUOTING (at least from the Czech translation)) "doesn't think he could survive losing".

The Zeroth law was the work of the both of them and I'm dying on this hill, they invented it together, they both put in the effort and made it work, together.

(SPOILER) And Giskard's death? Daneel's reaction absolutely destroyed me. He took his hand again, for the first time he offered Giskard his hand as a thank you gesture for saving his life and to prove him his complete loyalty, and for the second and also the last time he took his hand as he tried to save his life aswell, he tried his best to assure him that he did the right thing and doesn't deserve to suffer, but it didn't work. He had to watch his last friend die and then let his hand go, accepting the fact that his only help he had left is gone and now he's completely alone for absolutely everything. Good lord who's cutting the onions, i'm not okay.

Now, why do I think Daneel's bond with Giskard is stronger than what he had with Elijah?

This is going to be a very simple answer from me. Daneel would always serve Elijah, simply because he's a human. Daneel would always help him, listen to his orders and protect him, no matter if he personally liked him or not. There would always be this forced urge to do what he says, because he was programmed to. I'm sorry, I just can't help myself but see some fakeness behind this, it would never be fully genuine. Obviously I don't doubt Elijah and Daneel's friendship, I loved them and no one is ever going to insult them on my watch, but a human and a robot relationship will never be as free and genuine as a robot and a robot relationship, because in their case there's nothing that is forcing one to listen to the other.

And when there was a law that was basically forcing them to be split apart, they found a way how to walk around it and save their robotic best friend. This is just so impressive, imagine you are a robot whose mind is built on three (and somewhat four) laws and you find a way how to avoid acting upon the strongest two of them, just to save a robot who you aren't supposed to care about AT ALL. Imagine the pressure they were under and the risk they had to take. If this isn't the strongest act of loyalty, I have no idea what is.

Also, the difference in their brains, Elijah is a human and has a human brain, Daneel is a humanoid robot who thinks like a human at times, but he is still a robot with a positronic brain, and guess who else is also a robot with a positronic brain. I really liked how Asimov made Giskard and Daneel talk to each other when they were alone, they were simply using some key words and they understood each other perfectly. My point is, their brains can basically somewhat connect since they are both robots, even if one of them is an older model, therefore that automatically makes them be closer to each other.

I *DO* love Elijah and Daneel's bond, I've loved them since the very start and I was rooting for their friendship. I jumped very high in the air at the end of The caves of steel, the way Elijah's view on Daneel changed made me smile so much. You could see the improvement at the start of every book, the way he greeted him was always more enthusiastic than the book before and that was absolutely adorable, because it meant he's finally growing to him. They had so many funny moments together i think about to this day.

But the way Daneel is so damn tied to Elijah by the Laws of robotics and Elijah reminding him of it every time he felt like Daneel is taking over smells just so iffy to me, and I can't do anything about it. Don't forget how the robots always reacted when someone thanked them for a rescue, especially Giskard, he said it very well at the end of The robots of dawn, he simply did what he was programmed to do, there was no will behind it, he just did it because he had to, no need to thank him, and that's exactly what i'm talking about.

-

I could talk about Dan and Gis' relationship for hours and hours and never get tired, their bond was so well written. I wish people paid more attention to these two, it's so sad, I need people to talk about them more! They avoided laws to protect each other and held hands like the bffs they are! What more could you possibly want!

- now me just rambling..

I think this should be enough to close the case with "they had the closest bond possible and deserved a break to just sit down together and relax for a bit", because they never got it and it makes me furious.

So you are telling me they realized they are something humans call friends, and then just had to work their asses off til one of them literally fkn died? Are you serious rn? They couldn't even talk about it more or anything. I get it, they had that one absolutely immaculate 10/10 moment where they held hands and i'm sure that by that gesture they told each other everything that needed to be told, BUT I AM NOT SATISFIED. I DIDNT GET TO SEE THEM HAPPY TOGETHER AND SAY "we did it", I DIDNT GET TO SEE THEM CHANGE THE "friend Daneel/Giskard" TITLE TO "best friend Daneel/Giskard" SO IM MAD!!! AUGHH!!!! IT SHOULD'VE BEEN THERE!!! ASIMOV COME BACK HERE RIGHT NOW!!!

“I know that. And yet—and yet, if it were to happen again, I believe the same anomalous change would take place again.”

Daneel said, “It is strange, but hearing you put it so, I find myself feeling you did the proper thing. If the situation were reversed, I almost think that I, too, would—would do the same—that I would think of you as a—a human being.”

LMFAOOO 😭 JUST GET MATCHING BFF ACCESSORIES AT THIS POINT LOL LOOK AT YALL!!! SO OBVIOUS!!!! (The fact they never got to be actually happy together is a mental torture for me that i'm not sure if i'll ever get over)

[rikeijo]

Today's translation #310

Go Yuri go!!! official fanbook, Shimizu Youji interview

Part 5.

--- Please tell us about conversations with cast members that left a strong impression on you?

S: Toyonaga-kun was sometimes a bit confused when acting [Yuuri's role]. Yuuri sometimes approaches Victor in a way similar to how people of opposite sex approach each other, so how Yuuri feels then [from the context VA was confused why Yuuri does that]? So should I say, there was a gap between what Toyonaga-kun thinks when he's playing Yuuri and what the character actually does in the show? And to that I told him: "It's not important how this is going to be interpreted". For example, Yuuri trust Victor and needs him so much that he run towards Victor waiting at the airport to hug him. All we need to do is to properly create the context for this drama. I don't mind at all how people who have seen it will interpret that action. What's important is whether we managed to create the characters well enough, so this action doesn't seem out of place. We shouldn't try to forecast how it's going to look like, but try to show what kind of circumstances the characters are in and make [their actions] believable, instead. If we manage to do that, then people with various interests are going to feel deep emotions while watching the show, so I also told him not to play Yuuri in a falsified way [on purpose]. I also thought that if we did it, then this show which has this specific theme that is figure skating, could become something more universal. I think that conversation was an important crossroads point in the process of Toyonaga-kun creating the character of Yuuri. It seems that Toyonaga-kun was able to put that behind him, and after that I think that Yuuri's relationship with Victor became even deeper.

[Notes: Ahhh the homophobia~~ because, of course, real romantic love is only possible between people of the opposite sex, isn't it?

I've mentioned before that I avoid translating VAs interviews, and the main reason is that it's really difficult to know if their interpretation is based on something that they've heard from the Director, for example, or is it just their own opinion.

But another reason is that their interviews are sometimes so extremely anti-romantic interpretation of Yuuri and Victor's relationship, that it's almost funny. And very often it's not based on "hmm, I don't know if these two belong together...", but simply on something that, imo, can't be described as anything else but homophobia. They are both men, so any other interpretation of Y&V relationship is valid, just not that one.

Just to give you some examples that always make my blood pressure higher, whenever I remember that they exist: Victor's VA suggesting that it's obvious that Victor chose Makkachin over Yuuri (suggesting that, you know, Yuuri isn't that important to him, compared to his dog), and Yuuri's VA talking how Y&V are just like a pair of comedians and only get together "on stage" to do a show, but live completely separately... The latter one, when you read the whole answer, is on "did I watch the same show?" level. In both cases, you can just tell that they really felt the need to do those mental somersaults to convey the "Y&V isn't like that/isn't that special/isn't that strong" message across... ]

[kanmom51]

Run BTS Next Top Genius Special Part 2

I was contemplating if to write a whole separate post here or if to just reblog and add my own two cents.

Went with option no. 1 just cause my fingers, they were itching.

And what is it I'm talking about here?

The rock scissors paper game and the whole discussion about JK's loyalties.

Cause why enjoy the show? Let's go look for how to tear JK down, it's the new pass time for some parts of this fandom.

So, let's join the conversation, shall we?

These people are utterly ridiculous. 

Instead of enjoying the damn episode, which was hilarious, btw, they are busy making claims about JK’s supposed behavior.  Judging by little snippets they see on Twitter or TikTok instead of seeing the full picture.

*Note to those ridiculous humans:

Watch the damn episode.  Full original content people.  Do you not remember that rule?  And if it’s moving too fast for you, then watch it again, goddammit, before sprouting your nonsense. 

I can tell you that I did.  Watched it again to figure out what exactly was going on there.  What JK was doing.  What he was telling Tae.  What he told JM before the last round.  His explanation at the end about his behaviour (man just knows he can’t lie, lol).

WATCH IT AGAIN IF YOU NEED TO !! 

Just a couple of things I wanted to add to this convo.

JK studied the cards, he did try to.  Went to Tae and literally told him the truth.  “Leave the card you are winning on and change the others”.

Strange behavior you might think, being on JM’s team.  But he explains it at the end:

See, I'm not sure the translation is accurate or understandable, lol. But I do think what he meant, bottom line, is that he wouldn't be able to lie and get away with it, lol.

JK did what he knew to do, stick to the truth.

But the end round, telling JM to trust his gut – twice.  That was when he showed his true hand.  This is after he says to everyone they need to keep a poker face, which they certainly did not…

2nd time:

Tae’s shock when he sees JK is on JM’s team, lol.

And the editors…although I do need to have a talk to them with some of the clear Jikook cuts going on during this episode, with this one they did well…

And I rest my case. That face. He just can't hide it. So, the strategy was: tell the truth, don't get caught, don't be obvious (like go stand next to JM and walk between the two) and trust JM's gut to change the cards around.

Did kind of work... Just saying...

JM’s reaction is also something people overlook.

How worked up he was about Jin and Hobi being on his team.  Both of them were hectic on his side of the game while JK who never set  foot on JM’s side was on his team, and JM’s reaction to that? 

Lol, non existent. 

Nothing. 

Like the man wasn’t surprised one little bit.

So, either those two are doing the telepathy thing, or maybe we missed one of their multitude of signs of communicating with each other with no words, cause it looked like JM just knew. 

Perhaps it was the hand shake at the beginning, maybe there was a little hand squeeze going on or the eye contact (short but meaningful? Lol), or that “trust your gut” bit at the end did it…who knows. 

But felt to me like JM just knew JK was on his side of the fence (not only in spirit but by the gods of the game).

When you look at the footage it actually looks like JM was looking for Tae’s reaction when JK goes on his side and found it highly amusing. Just saying.

I also love the way JK is fixing up the covers over JM’s cards when JM was pulling his tantrum over thinking Hobi was working against him, lol.

Also, just wanted to add these just cause they are really pretty:

A-ha...

Go watch the episode if you haven't seen it yet.

It's bloody hilarious.