#queer eye au

[whoops-im-obsessed]

hey btw for anyone that needs it... everyone is happy and alive and safe in chapter 8 of the izzy hands queer eye au

[disgruntledkittenface]

✨️ Twenty Questions for Fic Writers ✨️

Thank you @allwaswell16 and @haztobegood for tagging me! I love reading everyone's answers to these <3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

60, including one cowrite

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

831,513

3. What fandoms do you write for?

One Direction. I use the BBC Radio 1 RPF tag for pairings with Nick Grimshaw, and I used the Shawn Mendes (Musician) one a few times, too.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

you came into my life, caught up in your love affair, baby, you're the end of june, an honest mistake and tell me what you need

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! I love replying to comments, even when I feel awkward about it. I really like getting replies from authors, I find it discouraging not to, so that's partly why. But a nice comment really makes me day, and I want to let people know I appreciate that. But I might miss one occasionally, and sometimes I don't reply if I think the commenter is being rude.

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

It's probably my first fic, This Town. The whole fic is Niall processing Zayn leaving the band – but more importantly leaving him, and they don't get back together in the end. It's not my fault, Niall wrote a sad song! But also I was in the thick of grieving, so. That's what happened.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I almost, almost always write happy endings, so I could really pick this one at random lol, but I'll go with enough to make a girl blush. I really love how far Louis has come at the end of that fic and how happy she and Niall are together and how good they are together. Plus, I wrote a happy little timestamp for Harry and Zayn (count me in).

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I've gotten comments that don't sit well with me, but not really. I did post a fic set at the beginning of COVID before I knew how bad it would get, and someone messaged me to say they were sorry about the hate it was getting... but I didn't see any?

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

yes! I write smut that I find hot, girl direction and boy direction. When I started writing, I felt like I wrote absolutely terrible smut and I worked really hard to figure it out. Practice makes progress, baby.

10. Do you write crossovers? What the craziest one you've written?

I've written a couple of reality show AUs with the actual people from the shows in the fic – you came into my life and you wanna be on top? Nothing too crazy!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I think someone stole a shiall one-shot and posted it on Wattpad. Weirdly, I feel like I haven't made it because that doesn't happen to me more often.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes! Most recently, someone asked if they could translate pink like the paradise found into Russian and they were so lovely.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I took part in a round robin for Nic's (@louandhazaf) birthday a few years ago! (Louis referring to merlot as the basic bitch of wines was me!) Co-writing has come up as an idea a couple of times, but the timing or idea etc has never been right.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

I kind of have to fall deep for a pairing to write them, so I love a lot of pairings! Aside from larry, I think gryles might be my favorite. Something about the pining best friends who can't be together because of... REASONS just gets me where I live.

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I had an idea for a lilo exes to lovers AU based on bennifer and I wrote a snippet that I really liked for it, but I felt like I was white washing Jennifer Lopez, if that's the right word? Like you can't separate her from the fact that she's Puerto Rican, so casting Louis in that role didn't feel right. I could try to figure out another way to approach it, but I don't really think I'll feel inspired enough.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm really good at continuity, and writing scenes with lots of people and involving all of them.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I always feel like I start sentences with "Niall did this" and "Harry did that" (sorry, writing narry at the moment). So, narration that's not action? Does that make sense?

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I think it can be done effectively. I liked how the French worked in Darling, so it goes. It made sense to include because Harry moved to a country where he didn't speak the language. I tried to make the meaning of the French clear when Harry understood it, but I didn't include translations in the notes because Harry didn't understand a lot, and I wanted the reader in his shoes. I worked really hard on the French because I don't speak it, but I asked @somethingwittyorother to look it over and their feedback was incredibly helpful.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

One Direction!

20. Favorite fic you've written?

It's usually the last fic that I posted, so right now it's Suddenly Last Summer. I had the best time writing it and it was such a fulfilling creative outlet, and I just love it.

I'll tag: @crinkle-eyed-boo @uhoh-but-yeah-alright @neondiamond @kingsofeverything @louandhazaf @absoloutenonsense @homosociallyyours @nouies @onlythebravest

[lynxindisguise]

@spindrifters and I are commissioning anyone who wants to write a queer eye wolfstar au where sirius + co fix up remus’s life. payment in head pats and ear scritches.

[swampthingking]

neil on the run frequents my mind more than i’d like to admit

so for like the entirety of his time on the run he used fuckin 3 4 or 5-in-1 shampoo/conditioner/body wash and like obviously he knew there were other ones he could pick but it’s dumb to lug three separate bottles of shit when there’s one viable option right there. saves space in his bag, less weight, less time in the store. get in, 5-in-1, get out as fast as possible.

so naturally allison finds out about this. she might have inquired. and of course she’s fucking scandalized to learn about the 5-in-1.

can you. imagine. the overwhelm neil probably feels at the store. and allison (who had dragged him there) is explaining that “this one will help moisturize your curls because [she ruffles a hand through his hair and scrunches his damaged ass hair] [cheap ass splat hair dye ass crunchy fried ass hair] …yeah”

and neil is like ???? frantic as fuck in the store like classic clean ??

repair and protect ??? “from what?”

smooth and sleek ?????? “allison these are all the exact same thing—”

and allison is like “omg wait?? what’s your skin care routine?”

and neil is like ??? “my??? my what??????”

allison is like “…..neil.”

neil shrugs and is like, “i just used the 5-in-1. why would a skin care routine [he kinda sneers it bc he had never heard such a thing before and is annoyed at allison’s gaping mouth] be one of my priorities on the run????”

and now allison is pissed because “how is your skin perfect after the horror you’ve put it through???”

ok and then neil is like [in his thoughts] my skin is not perfect. the scars. blegh. the horrors.

and allison sees it all on his face and she grabs his face in one hand (the other one is full of stuff; y’know how women can just carry a bunch of shit in one hand? yea) and makes him look at her, and his cheeks are all squished, lips are pouted, and she says all resolutely, “i meant it. the scars don’t ruin you. it doesn’t matter what happened to your skin. what matters is that you’re alive despite it. that is perfect.”

and when neil can’t make eye contact anymore he kinda just nods and she stares him down for half a second more and huffs. “but seriously, no acne…” continues down the aisle to the face wash and moisturizer. “no acne at all. so fuckin unfair—” and that’s that

[palfriendpatine66]

WIP Wednesday (bonus edition) Queer Eye au

@sky-kenobye wanted to know more about my obikin Queer Eye wip 💕. I started this just for fun (as Queer Eye was on in the background- no surprise there) in an attempt to get any words out and back to writing once more. (And it worked!)

In this au the Republic wins the war, Anakin doesn’t fall, no order 66, and planet earth exists and people there have the ability to travel to the GFFA because I said so. Read below for a snippet

This week on Queer Eye our heroes are actual heroes, none other than saviors of the Galaxy, now roommates, Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Jonathan: OMG THEY’RE ROOMMATES!!!

They were nominated by their friends and fellow veterans Cody and Rex.

Cody: General Kenobi is a good man. He gave all of himself all of the time during the war, and now it’s time for us to give back a little to him.

Rex: I mean they’re both great guys. Excellent Jedi. The best generals in the GAR. But as functional beings, well..

Cody: The army gave them structure.

Rex: (nodding emphatically) yeah

Cody: structure is good

Quinlan: Alright, look. I’ve known both of these guys basically forever. I trained with Obes long before he was The Order's poster boy and I met Anakin when we were still shaking sand out of his hair. Neither one has ever been exactly what you’d call organized. But without the Jedi or the army to guide them, well, they’re kind of a mess. And by kind of, I mean really. Hut in a antiques shop level of mess.

(Cut to footage of Obi-Wan and Anakin arguing in different location across Coruscant)

Karamo: Our mission for this week is to give these heroes their new marching orders and help them rediscover who they are off the battlefield.

Jonathan: Make love not war honey!

[maya-no-more]

The Crane: Chapters

✧ The Crane: Disclaimers

✧ The Crane: Description

✧ The Crane: Chapter One - Hiina

✧ The Crane: Chapter Two - The Storm

[phoenixtakaramono]

First Impressions Threadfic

(You can read the original tweets here)

A completed sapphic What-If threadfic, with one of my imaginary AU takes of Charlie’s and Vaggie’s first meeting—because I love these gals and their ship potential. It’s 25 tweets long, meant to be short and sweet. 🍎🎀

(You can read more below the line break)

[phoenixyfriend]

Have a nonsense modern AU of the sequels... or, well, three. Kinda.

AU the first:

Queer Eye AU: SW fab five equivalent show up to make early/mid-forties Luke Skywalker look fucking presentable instead of early hermithood.

There is an ongoing background gag that Luke's adopted 9yo, Rey, is hellbent on breaking her 19yo cousin Ben's nose. 13yo Finn, Luke's other adoptee, is supposed to stop her but uhhhh doesn't. He agrees with Rey that Ben is kind of a Jerk.

And that, of course, led into "where is Poe?"

For the first AU, he is a babysitter that works part-time for Leia that she suggested to Luke.

AU the second:

Okay so you know how the 'main' character closest in age to Kylo is actually Poe?

(Poe is three years older.)

This led to bad mental math and "huh, I guess the purity crowd would decide Ben Solo's optimal romantic partner is Poe, since they are both men and they are relatively close in age."

And then I got sidelined into "clearly what I need is either:

Angry high school freshman Ben has a stupid crush on a guy in senior year and passes 'get out of my school' notes to deal with this.

OR

AU the third:

College AU. Faux-deep philosophical-wankery art school snob Ben Solo has a pottery class with Poe, who is taking it as a gen ed art requirement to graduate, and even though Ben Solo is an art major who needs this as a foundational thing, Poe is somehow better and Ben is determined to be rivals with this guy (who does not realize he exists most of the time), and it ends with them making out in a supply closet or something.

[lavenderprose]

Joke’s on me because I have a plot doc with like ten different Gentlebeard plots and all my brain can do is try to formulate ways to jam Izzy in there. I’ve turned into a real Doctor Frankenstein over here.

[whoops-im-obsessed]

Chapters: 1/9 Fandom: Our Flag Means Death (TV), Queer Eye (TV 2018) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Samuel "Black Sam" Bellamy/Israel Hands, Blackbeard | Edward Teach/Stede Bonnet, Samuel "Black Sam" Bellamy & Israel Hands, Blackbeard | Edward Teach & Stede Bonnet & Israel Hands, Stede Bonnet & Israel Hands, Blackbeard | Edward Teach & Israel Hands, Israel Hands & Fab Five (Queer Eye) Characters: Israel Hands, Blackbeard | Edward Teach, Stede Bonnet, Samuel "Black Sam" Bellamy (mentioned), Tan France, Jonathan Van Ness, Karamo Brown, Bobby Berk, Antoni Porowski, Jim Jimenez Additional Tags: queer eye AU, Queer Themes, Past Character Death, Israel Hands-centric, Israel Hands is Bad at Feelings, Author is an Israel Hands Apologist, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Reality TV, Screenplay/Script Format, Soft Israel Hands, Musician Blackbeard | Edward Teach, stede owns a coffee shop/gay bar, Widowed, Terminal Illnesses, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Emetophobia, Panic Attacks, title may change, angry thrifting, British English, its set in bristol, bc ~pirates~, its written like a script but also idk how to do that so its written how i wanted to write it, Jim is a Little Shit, Fencing Summary:

Episode Title: Queer Eye-Eye Captain! Episode Summary: Since losing his husband, stoic Izzy has been drifting but it’s time for the Fab Five to swing in and get this side-liner ship shape!

-

Izzy's on Queer Eye. It goes about as well as you'd expect.

Featuring: meddling Stede, angry thrifting, tomato mishaps, swords, and more skirts than you might expect.

[disgruntledkittenface]

Thanks for the tag @allwaswell16 ! This was really fun <3

rules: give us the links to your fics with the most hits, second most kudos, third most comments, fourth most bookmarks, fifth most words, and fic with the fewest words.

fic with the most hits: Darling, so it goes. My Grace Kelly AU!! I actually remember the day that I noticed this surpassed the Queer Eye AU in hits because I wasn't sure if it would. I couldn't stop myself from hoping this would do insane, like over 100k hits type of numbers, but I am really grateful for each and every person who's read it <3

fic with the second most kudos: caught up in your love affair. A direct result of how many times I watched Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's engagement interview lol. This was my first larry fic, and I always think its stats are good because it's had time to accumulate, not because it's very good.

fic with the third most comments: you came into my life. My Queer Eye AU! This one surprised me for some reason, but there are people who commented on multiple chapters, and people were really nice when I posted it.

fic with the fourth most bookmarks: caught up in your love affair.

fic with the fifth most words: we should open up (before it's all too much). I think this was my second longest fic when I posted it, and I remember being surprised at how long it got, but I had a LOT to say and get off my chest at the time.

fic with the fewest words: obsessed. My gryles drabble! Originally I wanted this to be a longer, cuter fic, but at the time, life was simply not going to cooperate and I think the moment has passed. I do really like what I was able to do with it in 100 words.

I’ll tag: @crinkle-eyed-boo @kingsofeverything @louandhazaf @jacaranda-bloom @absoloutenonsense @greenfeelings

[lynxindisguise]

Do the mighty scholars have ideas what parts of life Sirius, James and Peter would handle??? Also who would be the couple other gays??? Can Lily take part?

ooooh we haven't talked about this, but my proposed fab five is: sirius, james, lily, kingsley, and xeno. (peter can be on the camera crew or something, idk)

sirius is in charge of grooming.

james can do food and wine.

lily can have fashion.

kingsley handles culture & lifestyle.

xeno does interior design.

thoughts @spindrifters ?

[lunarharp]

sleeping beardy & the white rabbit 😴⏰ and qifrey getting used to change

[blameitontheanon]

Don’t mind me, I’m just getting emotional about the (parasocially projected) potential of this dinner table.

[gravitywonagain]

okay okay, modern au crossover where the wens nominate single father and certified disaster bi wei wuxian for queer eye