#why do I like making roxas suffer?

[purus-lumen]

✧˖° ✩࿐ °˖ ✧ The words hit him like a ton of bricks and it makes it clear to him now why she doesn't look at him the same way she used to. She says that he can talk to her - but can he - really? He's just as wicked as his Other is but just held in a different elemental hue.

Light can burn just as well as Darkness can bind.

Even if he does have his own qualms with his darker half, that is for them to work through. That is for them to sort. The shattered shards that form their singular bond are for them and them ALONE.

It isn't Terra or Aqua's mess to try to figure out. It isn't for Sora or Riku or Kairi or Roxas - it isn't for anyone else to stick their hands into to try to make sense of because none of them know what it's like to be living your life as a fragment of something never to be whole again.

He'll never be whole again.

What do they know?

Nothing.

Twisted ideas of what is noble and what is just. Whatever the light tells them is the correct path without ever stopping to speak to the darkness. The Darkness has emotions too. The Darkness was born of it. Why not just stop to ask? To talk? To inquire how it feels?

It was apart of ALL of them whether they liked it or not - the rest of them just were never very involuntarily gifted the ability to look theirs in the face. That small dark voice that exists inside all of us. The worries and woes that creep in the back reaches of one's mind. Darkness was apart of all of us and it would have been so much easier if they all had just learned to stand hand in hand instead of raising their keyblades and calling for war.

War between families. War between friends.

If this is how she felt then she should have just ended him like he told her to in the first place.

Then no one else would have had to suffer. Then no one else would have had to deal with his darkness if such a thing were so vile. So wicked. So tainted. So Ugly.

So the sky is burning as his gaze falls to narrow, nose wrinkling as he snarls. She wants to know who loves him?

"I DO."

[phoenix-downer]

What do you think about the translation, or adaptation, in general of KH from Japanese to English? As someone who is a Spanish speaker, I realize that even in my language the story is more different when I hear the dialogues in both languages @_@

Now I'm really curious about what the KH Spanish translation is like! What are the similarities and differences that you've noticed? My guess is that the Spanish translation is done based on the English translation, but I'd be interested to hear more about it!

As for the English translation (and keep in mind that I have not played the entire series all the way through in Japanese), I'd say that overall it captures the spirit of the Japanese version as far as I can tell? I mean there are differences in the KH original stuff, like Sora's catchphrase "connecting hearts is my power" becoming "my friends are my power," but I really like both versions of the catchphrase. The Japanese version keeps the focus on hearts as is fitting for a series about hearts, but friendship is such an integral part of the series and the English version captures that really well.

I also really love how Sora's line in Blank Points was translated. The Japanese version is something along the lines of:

"There are still people out there who are suffering, and they’re waiting for me. I have to get them back, they’re all connected to me."

Which again ties things back beautifully to Sora's Japanese catchphrase. The English version takes full advantage of the cultural and religious history of English with an "I am who I am" reference making its way into the dialogue, which shows a deep understanding of the target culture of the translation and gives it a lot of power:

"It’s just…they really need me. I have to go. I am who I am…because of them."

The versions are "different" but they're both well-done, and that's what a good translation should do.

Of course, are also a few ??? translations. Roxas's heartbreaking, "Let's eat ice cream together again/The three of us will eat ice cream together again" line in Days shows his grief and denial and attempt to reassure Xion as she's dying that she and Axel and Roxas will meet again. Unfortunately, in English this line became "Who else will I have ice cream with?" which just didn't land the same for me or for a lot of people. I remember watching the scene in Japanese for the first time and being like what the heck, this is so much better and Roxas sounds truly grieved instead of kinda whiny, why was it translated like that? Something like "The three of us will get ice cream together again, okay?" would've been a lot better. There's no way the translator(s) didn't know that though, so maybe they had to keep the English translation short and "Who else will I have ice cream with" was the only thing that would work with the cutscene timing that would approach the meaning of the original version.

And then Roxas's "Why did he pick you" line inserts some unknown "he" in the English version, whereas the Japanese version was more like, "Why were you chosen," with the implication being he was chosen by the Keyblade as indicated by at least one Japanese source (even though it's not directly spelled out in the dialogue). So that's another line I think could've been translated better.

But overall the English translation seems pretty solid. I mean there are a few jokes that don't translate (Seifer's ore beanie, which would be roughly equivalent to him wearing a beanie that says "tough guy" on it in English lol), but that's just the nature of translation, and there are so many good lines in the English translation as well.

Also, the KH translators have always done a stellar job on the Disney dialogue. It's clear they carefully reference the original dialogue from the Disney movies, and when there is dialogue original to the KH games, they make sure it stays true to the character's voices. Disney is also involved with checking the translations.

And in these instances, where the dialogue was originally written in English for the Disney movie, the KH Japanese version references what I assume is the Japanese translation of the movie, and the KH English version references the original English version, I usually prefer the English version (and granted I'm biased because I grew up with the English language versions of these movies, so there's the nostalgia factor plus the original script factor).

Barbossa in KH2, for example, says, "The curse..." in Japanese but "I feel...cold," in English, which just hits different, you know? Like it's the first thing he's felt since he was cursed, and he feels cold because he's dying. The English version just packs a punch for me that the Japanese version doesn't. And good on the English KH translators for making sure the original, iconic Barbossa line was used for KH even though a more literal translation ("The curse...") would've been more faithful to the KH Japanese version. In fact, Nomura mentioned in an interview that this is on purpose:

"We have spent a lot of time making the preparations, so the original text has been translated as directly as possible, while in the case of the different Disney worlds we asked the translators to keep the original dialogues of the films."

There's just a lot of art and nuance to the translation process, especially because KH features movies that were originally written in English but the main KH story was originally written in Japanese, so it's like there's a meeting in the middle between the two languages almost, which is a good metaphor for the series as a whole, honestly.

Also, Tai Yasue, the co-director of the series, is a fluent English speaker (he's Japanese but lived in Canada for a long time before moving back to Japan) and checks over the translations:

"The translation of Kingdom Hearts III is done internally, and we follow a multi-layered process; co-director Tai Yasue, who speaks English, checks the text, and Disney later checks it again."

So I think that helps a lot with fidelity and generally getting the heart of the meaning across even if the wording changes from the Japanese version to the English version.

Of course, this is just my view on the matter, and it would be worth asking other people who are familiar with both the Japanese version and the English version of the KH games what they think too. I remember reading a post or comment by someone who speaks both Japanese and English who said overall they thought the meaning was very similar in both languages but that there were certain character nuances that came across differently (I really wish I could find the post again, but I read it years ago and didn't save it, unfortunately). So I think it would be worth asking other people for their thoughts.

Thanks for the ask!

[kosmic-arts]

A 10,000° Hot Take

in kh2, axel never should've died. huh what i mean, im not entirely against it, and i even have qualms about axel being ressurrected at all in the first place, but anyway- axel shouldn't have done the seppuku. of course, it was a perfectly tragic scene that had me shedding tears and dying inside when i first experienced it but uh, sora could've dealt with the 1000 dusks by himself. because he already did that with 1000 heartless ON HIS LONESOME earlier in the story. you could argue that axel was at a supreme low and had nothing to live for because he had no hope of bringing his one friend back and it was becoming increasingly obvious he wasn't getting his heart back either, yadayada, and he had served his purpose in the plot and needed to be canned. ok but, axel still had plenty to do. like apologize to kairi. himself. he clearly felt bad about kidnapping her, and making sora suffer losing someone important to him- so id think he'd actually put in the work to make up for it. also, the organization is the reason why his life sucks, why wouldn't he want to burn them to the ground alongside sora as a form of revenge. if he was gonna self-destruct like a dying star, he should've self-destructed all over xemnas, that would've made more sense. hell, axel should've been the one in the first place to lead the way to TWTNW, rather than the gang finding a weird portal in a fucking corner. someone please tell me im not the only one who thought that was the dumbest shit ever HELP IM NOT CRAZY AM I anyway- why the hell didn't any of the other organization members think of rebelling. xigbar shouldn't have fought sora to the death. everything about his character suggests that he's a sleezy opportunist that'll hang around as long as he's being compensated. sooo... when the organization is obviously outnumbered and on the backfoot, he should've ditched after fighting with sora. why would he bother fighting and dying for a group that is obviously going to fail at this point. bro should've ditched and i would've loved it if he never appeared in the plot ever again, because that would've been the perfect way for his character to exit stage left from the series entirely :) and luxord too. he was one of the extremely few org members that was actually nice to roxas. luxord is a smart guy, as soon as he sees an opening where he doesn't have to play a pawn to a man whose been lying to him for years, why tf wouldn't he dip and maybe help sora out? maybe some of the remaining org members could pull a coup like how marluxia tried to do, but less evil idk. xemnas is thinking hes hot shit, but suddenly ends up facing the consequences of treating everyone like disposable tools. friendship and connections win. the only one xemnas has to back him up is like, saix- a guy who has also completely thrown away any semblance of emotion or bonds. so in the nature of kh, saix eats shit for turning his back on the power of friendship. idk. would've been cool....

[angelthefandomobsessed]

Where Kingdom Hearts III Went 'Wrong'

I should probably open this by saying that I love Kingdom Hearts III. I love KH for what it is, and the usual "Omg it's so weird, the plot doesn't make sense, eVeRyOnE iS sOrA" thing doesn't strike me as the best form of criticism for the series.

Instead, I wanted to highlight why things got so convoluted (in my opinion, anyway, it's not like I was in the writer's room or anything). I think the direction KH has gone (and is going) serves as a good lesson for any aspiring writers out there - we can learn from these shortcomings and love a series. Wild, right?

So... where did KH3 go 'wrong'?

The writers wrote themselves into a corner in DDD. That's it. It doesn't seem like a lack of planning that came back to bite them, but rather, that they went about planning in an inefficient way.

Let's look at the conflict of KH3.

(Warning: There will be a few spoilers for KH3 ahead!)

Xehanort has put together the 'real organisation' so that he can do a keyblade war reenactment, forge the χ-blade and summon Kingdom Hearts. His main goal (as I understand it, which might be very, very incorrect) is to create a new world where darkness and light can be equal, quashing the imbalance of power that is skewed towards light.

It's not a bad conflict to have. KH has very strong motifs of 'light vs dark', and having a villain fight the inequality between these sides is interesting.

The big problem is the setup behind it. The complicated, hard-to-grasp, tedious setup.

Thirteen darknesses have to fight seven lights. Cool, okay, we can see the imbalance between the sides, we have slots for our characters to fill, roles for them to play... Except, there's not enough room in the plot for them all. By sectioning off each side with neat, numerical values, the bloatedness of the cast becomes obvious.

There are seven lights:

Sora has to be one of them. He's the main character, not to mention the poster child for the light.

Riku's been there since the start, plus he's had the most fleshed-out arc by far, having overcome his own darkness. He's a worthy guardian of light and a true keyblade master.

Kairi is a princess of heart and has been there from the start. This ties a bow on our three main-est characters.

Mickey Mouse. He kind of has to be there, it's a Disney game, right?

Axel/Lea. Roxas and Xion are out of the picture, and he's a fan favourite, so sure, why not?

Aqua. A keyblade master who's suffered for ten years, torn apart from her best friends... Sure, maybe a war isn't great for her right now, but she's a lost master, so she should be.

Ventus. Pure cinnamon roll Ven, newly awakened and ready to beat up some Xehanorts.

Okay, but... what about Donald and Goofy? Oh, okay, they can just... hang out with the seven lights. As moral support, I guess? At that point, why not make it nine lights?

Double but - what about Terra? He's going to be saved at some point, so he can just... join the herd. And Roxas? And Xion? Eh, they can act as sub-ins in case anyone accidentally dies.

Oh, what's that? Kairi's dead? Wow, sucks for her, call in the reserves. Wait... If the 'Guardians of Light' can be swapped out, then what's the point in having a set number of them?

It's almost like it's entirely arbitrary.

Right. So our seven lights are more like ten-ish lights + friends. It happens, maths is hard! How do our darknesses fare?

The thirteen darknesses are (in no particular order):

Xehanort

Xemnas

Ansem

Young Xehanort

Terra Xehanort

Riku Replica

Saix

Vanitas

Marluxia

Larxene

Luxord

Xigbar

Xion

Somewhat hilariously, the dark side also has a team of reserves.

Demyx

Vexen

The wiki lists 'Replica Xehanorts' as reserves, but I'm not about to unpack that one

Imagine being Vexen, the guy responsible for dealing with replicas, the invention sustaining this organisation, and being benched in favour of teenage angst incarnate Replica Riku. Ouch.

By this point, you might be wondering how this use of arbitrary numbers actually impacted the storytelling. Organisation XIII only had thirteen members for like, a week, so clearly counting isn't a strong suit of Xehanort's.

It all falls apart when the writers say (in DDD):

"KH3 will be about this, where this happens, with this many people, at this specific place, so get your popcorn and buckle in!"

On its own, that's not a problem. But when there's a giant pile of other plot points to worry about (Aqua's in Disney hell, Ventus is napping, Terra is somehow, kinda sorta, three different people whilst also being trapped in heartless thingy (whilst also being a suit of armour, but not quite), Roxas is stuck in Sora's heart, Xion has been wiped off the face of the earth via memory nuke, Naminé is in Kairi's heart, Sora needs to discover the mystical (and vague) 'power of waking' to deal with half these problems, Lea and Kairi need to train, and Riku needs to go to the 'Heartless Barbershop in Disney Hell' (the most relevant plot point of all)).

What we get is a tangle of 'this can happen when this happens, but first we need to do this one thing, and to do that we need this other thing' (i.e. "To find Ven we need to find Aqua, who is evil and needs to be good again, and Sora needs the power of waking to deal with this... probably, let's put a pin in it and hang out with Buzz Lightyear").

The plot is murky. The plot is confusing.

This entire plot raises the question of 'Why don't Sora and co. just... not go?' That's a good question, which should have a simple answer (if they don't, the org will do baaaaad things, wooOOOoooOOO), but instead what we get is "If they don't, Xehanort will use the new seven hearts (because there are new ones now for some reason, but Kairi's still one of them, dw about it) instead, guaranteeing bad things... probably?"

Xehanort's a bad guy who needs to be stopped. That's it, that's all we needed. But that avenue was closed off once they said 'nah, it's more complex because of prophecies, I guess'.

So, what's the moral of this long, drawn-out post?

Sometimes, it might seem like a super cool idea to have a group of characters band together to defeat evil. Sometimes mashing them into a prophecy can seem appealing (the five great owls will do the unholy hoot, defeating the nine-and-a-half orange rats at sundown in Mississippi). But sometimes, this kind of self-restriction won't work for you.

KH3 could have just had 'the bad guys' and 'the good guys', and nobody would have to worry about the arbitrary parameters set by the writers.

Keep your options open and don't overcomplicate things just for the sake of it! It'll only give you and your consumer a headache.

.

.

.

All that being said, KH3 really delivered on the emotional payoffs so like, forget the randomly numbered groups, let's appreciate the joy that (most of) these characters are allowed to feel now.

[kumeko]

A/N: For the Fading Tides zine! This story became a monster, my god, it just refused to end. XD Also get what movie I watched before writing it?

…

…

…

…

The Organization was always busy. It was the first thing Naminé noticed when she’d joined the theatre group as a painter. Whether it was staging nightly performances, planning long-term big ones, or running practice, there was always something to do. Of course, despite all of that work, there was never enough money. At least, that was never enough when Lexaeus came around with pay and he had to explain to Naminé why her envelope was always just barely enough to live on.

Secretly, she was certain the higher ups just wanted her to stay with them until they’d used her up, to take and take until they could toss her to the side like the rest of the rubbish. That was how it worked in the slums of Paris, after all. She’d seen enough orphans forgotten on the streets to know just how close she’d been to joining them. Seen enough adults wasting away in the shadows to know she was a step from dying like that too.

Well, the joke was on the organization. It wouldn’t be today, wouldn’t be tomorrow or even next year, but one day she’d be free of them and this place. Her art was good. She’d seen strangers stop and stare at her hand-painted promotional posters long enough to know that it was true. If she found the right patron, she could leave and never look back.

Naminé paused, her brush hovering over the large white canvas for the play’s background. There was little she’d miss about this place, from the tiny wooden chair she used to the musty smell of the old, moth-eaten curtains. In the shadows, she spotted other organization members moving to and fro, and she wouldn’t miss any of them.

Behind her, she heard the first note of Moulin Rouge on the piano and Naminé looked over her shoulder as Xion stepped on the stage.

No, the only thing, the only person Naminé would miss was her. Dressed in a simple black dress, lilies in her hair, Xion looked like a mourning bride or a ghost as she stepped into the spotlight. It always seemed like she’d fade away one day, that she’d vanish into nothing if Naminé so much as took her eyes off her.

Clasping her hands together, Xion closed her eyes and sang. Her ordinary looks hid an extraordinary voice, one that soared across the empty theatre and reached every seat. Her notes hung in the air like crystal, haunting and ethereal. Naminé’s fingers twitched as she listened, the urge to draw something filling her.

Another voice soon joined Xion’s as Roxas stepped on the stage. He was the sunlight to her moonlight, bright where she was dark, and sometimes it just dazzled Naminé to see them on stage together.

It also hurt, but she was used to suffering. What was unattainable love on top of everything else?

-x-

As usual, stage practice ended late. Naminé stood in the wings as the actors packed up, ready to head to the dorms or, for a few lucky ones, whatever place they called home. Smoothing out her white dress nervously, she rubbed on a stubborn spot of green paint as she waited for Xion to pop out of the changing room.

From the corner of her eye, she spotted black hair and Naminé looked up just as Xion started to cross the open floor to the back exit. “Xion!”

Startled, Xion stepped backwards, looking around frantically until she spotted Naminé. She relaxed and sighed with relief. Pushing a stray lock behind her ear, she approached the stage. “Yeah?”

“The posters.” Naminé smiled as she held up her paintbrush. “I need to make a few with you in them.”

“Oh.” Xion blinked for a second, looking around. Most of the actors were out by now, leaving just the two of them in the darkened hall. She nodded shyly. “Sure.”

“Great.” Trying not to smile too brightly, she held out a hand to pull Xion onto the stage. A single touch shot a spark through her arm, and it was silly how much Naminé felt like a schoolgirl in love. Even her heart beat like a drummer off tempo, so loud and fast that she didn’t know how no one else had noticed it. Quickly, she spoke, trying to drown out the noise. “I’ve already finished Roxas and Axel, so there’s just you left.”

“Oh, sorry,” Xion mumbled, curling into herself as she followed Naminé further back to where the stage backgrounds were drying. “I should have come earlier.”

“It’s not your fault!” Naminé added hurriedly. Of course, she’d said the wrong thing. Why did it always go like that? “I needed the time anyway to fix up the composition.”

Looking utterly unconvinced, Xion nodded and rubbed her arm. “It’s ready now?”

“Yes, let me just set up your spot…” After straightening out the old fabric and newspapers she’s scattered around to catch the stray paint drops, she set up a seat directly underneath the stage lights. Naminé trotted to where her easel stood, checking her view before nodding. “Ok, if you could just sit there.”

“Just sitting is fine?” Xion asked as she climbed on the stool. “No poses?”

“None this time. I just need your head for now.” Naminé hummed, pulling out her paints and setting up her colours. She wanted to do something soft for the first poster, something classic. The hero, the heroine, and the villain all facing off. “This might take a little time,” she explained apologetically as she peeked over her easel. “You might feel stiff.”

“That’s fine.” Xion smiled as she sat as still as possible. “This happens every time.”

“It really does.” Naminé sighed. Unfortunately, all posters had to be hand painted and that always took time. She had never been a fast painter, preferring to get all the details over speed. Unfortunately, that meant she had to work on the posters in advance or risk the organization’s wrath. “You looked really good on stage today.”

“Thanks.” Xion reddened, still incapable of taking compliments properly. It was cute. “It’s mostly Roxas and Axel, I…I couldn’t do it without them.”

“Don’t underestimate yourself.” Naminé smiled encouragingly. She started to add the pale peach of Xion’s skin to the canvas. “You’re really good too.”

“That’s…” Xion started to shake her head before catching herself. “I’m not all that impressive. I wouldn’t be here if they found someone better.”

Naminé frowned. “There’s no one better.”

“There’s lots of better people,” Xion disagreed easily. Her fingers curled onto her thigh, digging into her skin. “I’m…I’m not like you.”

“Like me?” Thrown off guard, Naminé could only stare at Xion owlishly, her protests dying on her lips.

“You’re really talented.” Xion’s cheeks flushed as she gestured at the backgrounds. “I’ve seen how everyone looks at your posters. Everything looks so beautiful, so realistic, so…it’s amazing. You’re somebody.”

Naminé swallowed. Her skin flushed and her ears felt hot. “I am?”

“Yeah. You are.” Xion’s eyes glowed with some unreadable emotion. “One day, you’ll make it out of here. I just know it.”

“So will you,” she replied automatically. The poster was all but forgotten now, her paintbrush hanging limply between her fingers.

“I won’t.” Xion chuckled sadly as she shook her head. “I’m…I’m just a nobody. One day, I’ll disappear, and no one will notice.”

Immediately, Naminé stood up, her chair scraping against the stage as she dropped her brush. “I’ll notice.”

“Huh?” Now Xion looked at her, confused. “You will?”

“Of course I will.” Forgetting where they were, forgetting who they were, she went to Xion’s side and clasped her hands tightly. Xion’s skin was warm and soft and real. There was no way Naminé would forget this sensation, would actually forget anything about the woman in front of her. “I’ll always notice.”

For a long moment, they stared at each other. Something lingered on Naminé’s lips—a confession? An invitation? She wasn’t sure but she needed to say it, to put this nameless feeling into words.

Then Xion coughed and she dropped her hands like they were fire. “Oh, sorry.” Naminé stepped back, her skin hot.

“It’s fine.” Xion coughed into her elbow now. “Thanks.”

“It’s…it’s nothing…” Naminé hid behind her easel once more. Busying herself with cleaning her brush, she added, “And…it’s not just me, you know. Roxas and Axel will miss you.”

Xion stared at the ground and nodded. “I…I guess they will.”

“Roxas especially.” Naminé didn’t know why she blurted that out, but now that she had, she couldn’t stop. “He really seems to like you.”

Xion’s eyes widened. “Like?”

“Yeah.” She bit her cheek, but the words poured out of her like paint out a can. “The way he looks at you…it can’t just be acting.”

“That?” Xion chuckled, a soft, fleeting thing, and Naminé was transfixed. “No, that’s… that’s… well… you’re not entirely wrong. It’s not acting. But…it also is.”

Naminé cocked her head, confused. “It’s…both?”

“Yeah.” Xion nodded, her eyes hooded. “We’re alone, but when we’re on stage together, when we look at each other…we can pretend.”

“Pretend what?”

Xion shook her head, withdrawing. “Nothing.”

-x-

Tonight was a performance, and Naminé squirreled herself away on the upper rafters above the stage. From here, she could hear everything, though her angle didn’t give her a good view of their faces. She pressed as low to the wooden boards as she could, ignoring the dust and suspicious creaks as she watched the ongoing performance below.

Actors dressed in black, demon-like outfits ran across the stage, their shadows looming large on the white backdrop. Glowing lanterns gave their eyes a demonic look.

“I’ll save you all from heartless,” Roxas shouted, holding a cardboard key-shaped sword tightly as he ran across the stage. He slashed at the shadows and the actors spun around him tauntingly.

“Save yourself,” Xion pleaded, and a spotlight fell on her on the small side stage.  She reached out, her hands grabbing at the empty air as she fell to her knees. “Please, forget me.”

As she prayed, the music swelled, and it wasn’t long before her voice swelled into song. Naminé liked watching the audience’s reaction to this; they looked surprised every time. As though no one could imagine this mere slip of a girl to have such a loud, graceful voice. They didn’t know how hard Xion had practiced till her song reached every corner of the stadium, how raw her throat had been some nights. No, they only saw the startling end result. Dressed in a shimmering dress, a crown perched on her head, Xion looked like an actual princess.

Naminé smiled as she took in the slack-jawed audience. Xion’s fans would grow after this. They would—

Odd. The gentleman in the box seat wasn’t smiling. No, his expression was impassive, as smooth and colourless as marble. There was something familiar about his silver hair and golden eyes, his impassive smile reminding her of another’s as he watched Xion with a calculating eye.

It didn’t take long for her to realize why. Behind the man, Xemnas stepped out of the shadows, wine goblet in hand. The pair looked almost identical, down to the smirk Xemnas gave as he whispered something in the stranger’s ear, looking like a predator stalking his prey.

His gaze was fixed on Xion the entire time.

Naminé shivered, fear running down her spine. Nothing good could come out of those looks.

-x-

Naminé almost didn’t need Xion to stand on the stage a week later. She’d burned the memory of Xion’s monologue in her mind, etched it every night until it was all she could see when she closed her eyes. The soft curls in Xion’s wig, the airbrushed makeup that gave her a haunting, mournful look. Her hands clasped tightly, lips mumbling an unheard prayer.

Even before Naminé had realized how deep her affections ran for Xion, the songstress had always been a muse.

Still, she wasn’t about to turn down a chance to be alone with Xion. More importantly, she had questions. It hadn’t been a surprise when Xemnas had called Xion over to the box after the play, a private discussion between the three. While Naminé wasn’t sure what it was about, she knew it wasn’t good by how pale Xion’s skin had been after. Xion hadn’t mentioned it when she’d returned to their dorms, late even by after-party standards. Maybe she could pull it out of her now.

That was, if she could focus on anything other than Xion. Xion sat on a small table today, her starlight-coloured dress arranged artfully around her. Her head inclined slightly, nose brushing white lilies, a spirit given form. Beautiful.

It was hard to think staring at her.

“Axel’s surprisingly good with makeup,” Xion explained, cheeks flushing at the compliment. She ducked her head slightly. “He said he could do it since Marluxia wasn’t around.”

Naminé blinked. Had she said that aloud? Embarrassed, she hid behind her easel. It was easier to talk when she didn’t see Xion. “He does his own, actually.”

“That explains it. I wondered how he did his eyes.” Xion smiled, a waning moon. She spent a lot of time with him and Roxas, now that Naminé thought of it. Was that who she pretended Roxas was?

Something in her ached. She didn’t want to ask. Didn’t want to know. Instead, she busied herself with mixing her paints. There were no mixes that could capture the purple in Xion’s eyes, the blue in her hair, but she got closer every day. Changing the topic, she said, “Demyx was near the church yesterday, trying to drum up an audience. He was doing really well at the beginning too. Only…”

Xion leaned forward, curious. “Only?”

“Only, he got bored halfway through, started missing his notes, and got pelted with tomatoes instead of coins.” Naminé shook her head. “He came back looking like he’d been attacked.”

Xion laughed. “Really?”

Naminé flushed. Xion’s laughs were a rare thing, and she wondered what she could do to steal another. “Yeah. Saix was furious since he’d ‘borrowed’ his costume.”

“No wonder he was so glum today.” Xion covered her mouth, giggling.

Emboldened, she shifted through her memories for another strange story. “I saw this squirrel on the street today. He had a mouthful of stolen nuts, but he waited so patiently for the carriages to pass. Only when everyone started to walk did he cross.”

“Aww, that sounds cute,” Xion cooed, enthralled. “I wish I could have seen it.”

“Maybe…next day off…” Naminé kept her eyes firmly glued on her painting, her skin burning. “We could go to town together. And keep our eyes out.”

“But…” Xion hesitated, looking away. She rubbed her arm, her silken white gloves bright on her pale skin. “I…I’m not sure if I’ll be allowed.”

“Allowed?” Naminé blinked. For all of the organization’s faults, limiting their freedoms had never been one of them. Marluxia had often expressed distaste over her visits to the core of Paris, but no matter how much his lips curled in disgust or he scoffed at her desires, he had never physically stopped her.

“Xemnas…” Xion trailed away, uncomfortable. “He…”

Xemnas. Naminé remembered the stranger, their cold smirks, Xion’s visit. “Is it because of the stranger?” she blurted out.

“Huh?” Xion snapped her head back, staring at her.

She bit her tongue, cursing herself. “I mean…I…” There really wasn’t any way to hide it. “I’m sorry, I saw you visit the box, and…”

“It’s fine.” Xion curled her fingers into her skirt, bunching them up. Sounding distant, she nodded. “That was Ansem, one of our patrons.”

Patrons. That explained the box seat, the wine, and even Xemnas’s presence. Maybe they were actually brothers, one wealthier than the other. It wasn’t an uncommon situation, in a society where the eldest took everything and the younger siblings were left to fend for themselves. “Oh. What…what did he want?”

Xion worried her lips. “Me.”

Naminé wasn’t sure she heard right. “You?”

“Me.” She traced circles on her skirt. “He wants me to as his personal songstress.”

Naminé dropped her paintbrush. Her chest constricted, leaving her breathless. “You’re leaving?”

“Probably. Do I have a choice?” Xion finally looked up, her smile fractured. “Xemnas is fine with it. Ansem wants it. What else can I say but yes?”

“That…” Naminé remembered Xemnas’s smirk. “Can’t someone else do it?”

“No, he wants my voice.” Xion played with her earring, withdrawing into herself. “I have met him a few times and he doesn’t seem cruel, at least.”

A small comfort. Ansem’s expression had been as cold and distant as starlight. That was the indifferent expression of a man selecting his bedsheets or kitchenware, not one to his future employee. Or…considering how close patrons could be with their chosen stars, something more.

The organization wasn’t a warm place, but at least Naminé could keep an eye on her here. At least Roxas and Axel could help her here. There, Xion would know no one. “I don’t want you to go.”

Xion clasped her hands. “Me neither.”

-x-

It was like knowing Ansem’s name had summoned him. Everywhere Naminé looked, there he was. Every performance, he sat in his box seat, a glass of wine in his hands. During practice, he sat in the front seats, leaning back in his seat as though he were in his manor.

Naminé spent her time listening to the older actors and stagehands, paying attention to the rumours she’d once ignored as gossip. He was the older brother, the cold, rich bachelor with an eye for beauty. Ansem funded not just this theatre, but several others, his hands in several pockets. Nobility mingled with him, trusting his judgement.

He wasn’t someone they wanted as an enemy.

He also wouldn’t hurt Xion, if all accounts were right. Ansem treated his employees fairly, if coldly, and compared to some of the crueller patrons, this was a good choice. It might even be the best choice.

It was something to be happy about. Xion would never want for food or safety again.

Naminé should be happy.

She couldn’t so much as crack a smile.

“Naminé?” Standing on a ladder, Riku regarded her coolly. “You’re awfully quiet.”

“I usually am,” she muttered, pulling out of her thoughts. Around her, couples and families leisurely strolled the cobbled streets, busy workers rushing from one job to the other as they weaved between them. And above them all, Riku was pasting on one of her posters to a brick wall, doing the work of three.

Naminé was supposed to be helping him, but with her thoughts as muddled as they were, she couldn’t manage more than just hold his ladder for him.

Riku raised a brow, his lips tugging into a smirk. “You’re not as loud as Sora or Kairi, but you still talk.”

She bit her cheek. Ever since she’d joined the theatre, she’d considered him as a big brother of sorts. It was hard not to; he spent so much time wrangling his two best friends that he just radiated that aura now. Tightening her grip on the ladder, she watched as he applied a coat of paste to the back of the poster. “What do you…” Naminé gathered her courage. He was the only one she could ask, really. “What do you think of Ansem??”

Riku’s lips curled in disgust. “Annoying.” It was such a blunt statement she couldn’t help but giggle. He returned to pressing the poster to the wall. “He’s always there and in the way. And everything has to go his way.”

“The actors are complaining,” she agreed, nodding.

Riku snorted. “They’re doing more than that. Oh well, he’s not my problem.”

That threw her off guard. Cocking her head, she asked, “Because you’re not an actor?”

“Because I’m leaving.” He said it as easily as breathing, as though he wasn’t worried she’d tell the organization. “He’ll be someone else’s problem.”

Her mouth opened and closed a few times before she squeaked, “You’re going?”

“It’s not like it’s a surprise.” He patted the top of the poster, checking that it was fully sealed to the wall. “I’ve been planning this for months.”

“Really?” Naminé gripped her shirt, running through her memories. Had he mentioned it before? He must have, at some point. Stumbling over her words, she asked, “W-where?”

“Not sure. I think I’ll leave France entirely?” Riku shrugged. “It’s a big world and I want to see all of it.”

The world. Naminé looked up at the bright blue sky, at the birds soaring freely through it. She’d never thought beyond leaving the theatre, beyond walking out its doors and disappearing into the streets. At most, there was a vague assumption about somewhere in Paris, but even that wasn’t a solid idea. “I never thought of that.”

Riku leaned on the ladder, arms crossed as he studied her. After a few minutes, his expression softened. “You have to think about at least that much if you want to leave.”

“I’m not…” Naminé trailed off, ducking her head when he chuckled. Rubbing her wrists, she mumbled, “Was it that obvious?”

“I mean, you’re a terrible liar.” Riku snorted, amused. “And I’ve seen how you’ve looked at the doors sometimes. I do the same. Don’t worry, no one else noticed.”

Naminé released the breath she didn’t know she was holding. Tucking a lock behind her ear, she asked quietly, “When are you leaving?”

“Soon. Just need to make enough for the two idiots. I’m not leaving them here.” Despite his words, his expression was gentle. She’d seen him talk to his two best friends and there was no mistaking the love between them. “You should do the same.” He dug his hand in his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper. Dangling it down, he waited for her to grab it. “This’ll help.”

“This?” She smoothened the creases as she read the colourful poster. In a couple of weeks, one of the exhibition centers was hosting an open gallery. New artists were welcome to display their goods there and attract the eyes of the many patrons attending. If Naminé entered, she could get customers, status—it would be enough to live on.

She didn’t have to stay with the theatre, if she played her cards right. Overcome, Naminé looked up at him.

He laughed. “Don’t give me that. You’re a good artist. They’ll fight over you.”

“But I don’t have any works,” Naminé protested weakly, scared. This chance stood in front of her and it felt too good to be true.

“Your posters?” Riku rolled his eyes as he climbed down. “You have plenty of rough drafts and pieces that didn’t make it up here. If not, make some.” Beside her now, he ruffled her hair. “You got this.”

She hugged him tightly. “Thank you.”

-x-

Naminé spent her days diligently painting her set pieces, touching up every rock and tree until no one could complain about her work. At night, after the last actor left, she pulled out her canvas, dragged her seat across the stage, and painted in the dim candlelight.

There was no need for Xion this time. She could see in her mind’s eye Xion’s dress, her dreamy expression, the delicate curl of her hand. Naminé sketched her over and over again, adjusting the pose until she got it just right. For hours, she mixed together different shades of purple, playing with how the moonlight had hit her during the play or the candlelight during their talks. The competition was soon, her escape even sooner, and though she didn’t have the time to spare to make it perfect, she forced herself to take it slow.

There would be other competitions, after all. But this might be her only chance to convince Xion. Who knew when Ansem would whisk her away?

Naminé knew what it was like to starve, to live in the gutters and barely survive. You couldn’t feed off love, after all, couldn’t eat on emotions. But the difference surviving and living was love, was having someone to strive for, someone to come back to.

She was tired of just existing.

-x-

Xion stood in the center of the stage, for once in her normal clothes and not one of her elaborate costumes. Hands on her eyes, she asked, “Can I look now?”

Naminé glanced at the stage once more. The actors were gone. Ansem was gone. The only ones left were the two of them. She’d asked Xion to stay in the change room while she’d set up the stage, arranging her pieces like the galleries she’d caught glimpses of in the heart of Paris.

 Looking at them all lined it up, Naminé’s feelings were more than obvious. Xion was everywhere in them—from the close ups of her various performances, to the more distant shots of her on mountaintops and seashores. The second Xion opened her eyes, Naminé’s heart would be bare. She swallowed, mouth suddenly dry. There’d be no more hiding.

“Naminé?” Xion repeated. “You still here?”

‘Y-yes.” Naminé took a deep breath and steeled herself. “You can look now.”

She couldn’t look at Xion, just listened as her lips parted in a soft gasp, as she wordlessly took in the whole thing. From the corner of her eye, she watched as Xion walked from one piece to the next, her quiet footsteps barely audible over the drumming beat of her heart.

Finally, Xion stood in front of her. “It’s beautiful.”

Hesitantly, she looked up. Xion smiled at her, eyes bright. “Really?”

“Yes.” Xion gestured. “It’s all…it’s beautiful. You’re really good at it.” Her hand curled into her chest as her expression turned wistful. “I’m not that pretty, but you make me think I could be.”

“You are.” Naminé clasped Xion’s hand between both of hers, trying to press her overwhelming feelings into her skin. “You always have been.”

“I’m not—” Xion shook her head, taking a half-step back. “It’s just the dresses and make up.”

“It’s not.” Naminé squeezed her hands tighter. “Even before you sang, I couldn’t look away from you.” She resisted the urge to bow her head, to close her eyes and hide. “I’ve loved you since the moment you stepped in the dorms.”

Xion’s eyes widened. “You…” She broke into a whisper, hand trembling. “You do? Really?”

“Yes.” She smiled softly, gesturing at the closest painting, one of Xion flying through the air. “You always make me feel like flying.” At another of Xion’s back as two cats curl up next to her. “You’re kind.” Namine pointed at another and yet another as she talked. “And you’re funny and when you tease, your smile is just so—”

“It’s you,” Xion confessed, the words tumbling out of her. “When I’m on stage, I pretend he’s you. That we’re together. That…we’re happy.”

Naminé stopped breathing. “Then…all this time?”

“Me too. It’s been you, it’s always been you.” Xion glanced at the paintings. “I wish I could see myself in your eyes. I don’t feel half as amazing”

“Then stay with me.” Naminé squared her shoulders, pulling out the flyer from her pocket. “I’m leaving—it won’t be much but come with me.”

Xion scanned the flyer, her lips moving silently. Slowly, she shook her head. “I can’t.”

Naminé’s heart plummeted. “Why not?”

“I’ll…I’ll only drag you down.” Xion tugged her hand but Naminé kept her grip tight. “I’ll get in the way.”

“You won’t,” Naminé insisted, stepping forward. “You…you’re my muse. You’re everything. I can’t do this without you.”

“You can’t support both of us, and…” Xion bit her lip. “Ansem…he, he might come after you. Take away your patrons.”

Remembering Riku’s words, she shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. If he does that in Paris, then we just go somewhere else. Rome. Venice. Anywhere. You could sing at the operas. I could paint the churches. We’ll make do.”

“But you can’t—”

“I can,” Naminé repeated firmly, refusing to let her, let this go. Love wasn’t enough to eat on, to survive on, but it was more than enough to live on. “Please.”

“I’m just nobody…” Xion mumbled, relenting. A tear trailed down her cheek.

“Not to me. Never to me,” Naminé whispered, pulling her close and pressing their foreheads together. Xion trembled and Naminé didn’t think twice before closing the gap, kissing the corner of her eye, the edge of her lip, the hard line of her jaw.

When Xion kissed back, steady and strong, Naminé knew they’d make it. It didn’t matter what they faced next, they’d make it together.

-x-

A week later, in the middle of the night, they ran down the streets hand in hand.

[mysorokuheart]

Just some SoRoku thoughts

With SoRoku week right around the corner I’m thinking back to when I first started shipping Sora & Roxas. Its almost a head scratcher of why? Why do I ship two characters who have barely any screen time & to some people still problematic to ship? Why put myself through that? & to end up putting myself out there with spending countless hours making SoRoku edits to running a fan blog with some friends I’ve made along the way.

Friendship

To answer that question isn’t of course due to much of the actual games lack of screen time which I could harp on but started from a simple thought I had while playing kh2 vanilla ps2 in 06 ish at 16 . I’m like wow who the f is this kid? He needs to meet Sora & teach him to skateboard & share this odd ice cream so at first I wanted them to be friends because didn’t have the idea to ship them that came later then forward to my utter somewhat of a disappointment, I really didn’t want them connected like this or at all. So I fell out of playing or caring until later as younger adult of feeling nostalgic from ABC’s once upon a time made me want revisit another Disney crossover Kingdom Hearts so I replayed kh2 on my still working ps2 at the time lol then played catch-up by watching play throughs of every game up to that point. kh3 had not yet this was 5+ years prior to that. I learned I don’t have the patience to play games anymore or can’t because I was starting to get early on arthritis in my right hand. I was in tears to learn of ddd’s Sora & Roxas scene on YouTube not from playing that game. Suddenly I was ok with them being connected because that one scene was my payoff for suffering years ago. It was also that one scene that changed them from friendship to romantic to me. It’s special.

Yeah Sora can’t get the beautiful blond boy out of his mind after that lol every brunette needs a blond😅🙊

Romance

Oh yeah I’m still trying to answer the question why ship them? The potential chemistry they could of had, star crossed lovers. Sora desperately wanted to save Roxas his quote “it’s not darkness not if it helps him” to xemnas & Ansem seeker of darkness didn’t go unnoticed by me but Sora’s determination to at least save Roxas is heartwarming it’s okay he was thinking of Roxas it’s interesting that something isn’t darkness bad if it helps someone who you care about 🤔 the I don’t care attitude of it is telling at the end but it started here! 😄🥹😅❤️ but it’s my 2nd fav quote from kh3 referring to Roxas when he isn’t even there the desperation & determination of it is beautiful

im with you in San Fransokyo is my 1st😭

I have no straight answer as to why I ship them lol sorry to have wasted your time 😝

[super-hero-confessions]

Since I now discovered the submit feature, it’s time to expand on an earlier confession about Kingdom Hearts; how Disney is the only interesting aspect about it and how the original concept stopped being interesting after 358/2 Days.   So the first game was mostly a “Disney” game. Sure there was a protagonist keyblade wielder, a comatose vague love interest (who was inside the hero the whole time…) and an a-hole who was easily tricked by the main baddies Maleficent and Ansem, but for the most part it was going through various nostalgic Disney movies while there’s this plot about Maleficent kidnapping princesses and destroying worlds with a band of Disney Villains. The plot could have been better (half the villains were entirely inconsequential) but for the most part it did a good job balancing Disney and original content.  Then there’s Chain of Memories and KH2 which… while not doing a good job of balancing the Disney and original content, the OCS that were there were actually pretty strong. Organization XIII, especially in COM, is a very intriguing and menacing council of bad guys with cool powers and discernible personalities save a few bad eggs like Lexaeus and Demyx (the latter moreso suffering from being ENTIRELY USELESS rather than boring). Roxas was a great tragic hero, and it was even better when his story was shown in 358/2 Days and it’s devastating gut-wrenching conclusion. Xion was a little hard to swallow considering she wasn’t mentioned in the other games but in the end it made sense.   But then came Birth By Sleep and the revelation that the TRUE main villain Xehanort was actually a result of an elderly keyblade master possessing a teenager’s body and the NEW Xehanort became Ansem and Xemnas (rather than simply some narcissist scientist trying to play god), and that Sora got his keyblade powers from harnessing Ventus’s heart in his own (which is why Roxas resembled Ven). In addition it’s implied that Master Xehanort played Maleficent like a fiddle right from the start as opposed to simply pulling a Ganon in the first game. This ruined the series lore and made it comic book levels of convoluted. Not to mention a lot of it was generic anime fluff. Many would say Dream Drop Distance ruined the series by making Maleficent even more of a joke and the whole time travel scheme (and of course the stupid 13 Xehanorts), but that was just adding what was already shown in BBS.  And if that wasn’t enough, then came Union across which was basically the Eternals movie before that became a thing, and then KHIII presented this new version called the REAL Organization XIII which despite reusing many of the old members felt a LOT less menacing compared to the ones in COM and KH2, and THEN not only was Xehanort revealed to be a good guy all along but then suddenly his right hand man Xigbar was actually LUXU, an ancient keyblade wielder who’s part of a group called the Fortunetellers (AKA THE Eternals as mentioned before) and NOW it’s revealed that this was ALL according to some master plan by this OTHER new baddie called the Master of Masters… ugh.   Notice I said Disney is the only interesting part of KH now. That doesn’t mean it wasn't poorly written like the rest of KH. There’s a reason people think KH should remove Disney content, and that is the fact that after KH1 but especially starting with the otherwise good 358/2 Days, the Disney aspects have been entirely irrelevant. They don’t advance or even tie into the main plot at all, Maleficent’s role in KH2 about acquiring Xemnas headquarters goes freakin nowhere after that game, and they’re incredibly out of place with the original OCS.   But it’s STILL more interesting than everything else after 358/2 Days, with this bullshit about some master plan by some new bad guy that should have been saved for after Xehanort is axed off.

[manygalaxiesinone]

Worst Fictional Friends in my opinion:

1. Heather (Total Drama). You know you fucked up when Lindsay and Beth became besties over their dislike of you. I would also put Duncan here as well as he technically broke bro code. Damn season 2 did my boy, Trent, dirty. But to be fair, Courtney was not making things easy. Her little controlling toxic ass. I should put her up here too after plotting to vote Gwen off right after the two of them made up, but I want to stick to just one character per series.

2. Rigby (Regular Show) there are MULTIPLE TIMES where Rigby fucked things up for Mordecai, (granted Mordecai isn't exactly innocent himself) but this dood bet not only his soul, but all of his friends in the park for a soul ball behind their backs! And let’s not forget that Rigby hid Mordecai’s college acceptance letter out of envy. Like I said, Mordecai’s not innocent either, but Rigby caused way more problems at the end of the day in my opinion.

3. Okay if you think about it, both Sasuke Uchiha and Sakura Haruno were pretty toxic. Do I really need to say anything in Sasuke's case? He tried to kill him like multiple times. And Sakura made fun of him for being an orphan in front of Sasuke, who is another orphan! Can’t really decide which one is worse overall, so I’ll just leave it at a tie and let you guys decide. They should've put Naruto with Shikamaru and Hinata on the same team.

4. Granted I still haven't fully caught up with My Hero, but from what I've seen, Bakugo can go die in a hole for all I care. The moment you tell your childhood friend to jump off a building you automatically get put in the toxic tier. I honestly don't see why people ship these two together. Valvatorez and Fenrich from Disgaea would make a better gay pairing than this.

5. Hartia from Orphen deserves to be here for one reason. He was in on Childman's plan to just hunt down Azalie in order to appease the higher ups while secretly finding a way to restore her from her dragon form, AND YET HE DIDN’T SAY SHIT ABOUT IT TO ORPHEN!!! How you go your best friend like that?! Look I know the tower has eyes, but you couldn't have said "Let's meet somewhere private so I can tell you what's actually going on?"! That's his older sister we're talking about!

6. Patrick (Spongebob) did have some loyal moments, but damn he did spongebob dirty so many times. Same goes for a good portion of Bakini Bottom if you think about it. Do I have to bring up the "No Spongebob day" episode?

7. Princess Bubblegum (Adventure Time) has done a LOT of crap. Calling her manipulative is honestly an understatement, BUT I will give her a bit of leeway because she has lived a very long time and has suffered quite a lot of backstabbing throughout the years, even from her own family. (Looking at you, Lemongrab). So honestly, her ending up at least a little paranoid isn’t really all that surprising.

8. Iza (Kingdom Hearts) literally went full on dark side because of his envy of Roxas and Xion. And before you said anything, yeah Riku did the same in Kingdom Hearts 1, but it was only during that one game and he recognized his mistake at the end of that same game. Iza went a step beyond though and tried to get Lea to stop being around them so much and even later started antagonizing him. Motherfucker really said “no new friends”.

9. Eric Cartman (South Park). ‘Nuff said.

10. Cerberus (Disgaea). This motherfucker plotted to used Zed to destroy the universe by turning his sister Bieko into a God of Destruction and have her kill him countless times. All because his true love got killed. That’s right, he basically pulled an Obito. And even AFTER they saved his ass when his body broke down. Yeah Zed wasn’t exactly the nicest person around, but after the shit Cerberus pulled, can you blame him? Even Cerberus himself pointed out that Zed used to be more of a kinder zombie before the God of Destruction appeared. Gee! I wonder why he changed?! It couldn’t possibly do with the fact with he was forced to fight his sister and die over and over and over and over again and was tricked into thinking he had to kill her in order to put her out of her misery for good! That couldn’t POSSIBLY why he started developing a cold shoulder! I was honestly thinking about putting either Etna or Fenrich up here, but no. Cerberus definitely tops whatever stunts those two pulled.

[kairithemang0]

Kai's Really Inaccurate Ranking of All the Dearly Beloved Versions

Days - So uh yeah this is my favorite. I don't hear this one talked about enough, and it makes me sad. I kinda associate the main instruments of it (flute, piano, and song string instrument I can't put my finger on the name of) as Roxas, Axel, and Xion. All doing their own parts and intertwining their paths before being pulled away once more. I'm certainly looking too deep into this song but yknow what it's a song that deserves to be looked into because it's just that good. I could listen to the Days DB for literal hours and never be sick of it, and likely cry a lot during it too but whatever.

2. MoM - I've got a story for this one. MoM was my first KH game, and I truly didn't know this song even existed because I never stuck around the title screen. I had 100 hours in MoM before I realized this song existed, and I CRIED. My cousin was there, she can confirm. I feel safe listening to this song, it's the song I listen to when I'm about to lose it and just need something to pick me up and idk make me feel better. I've never gotten so emotional listening to such a happy song before.

3. KH1 - The waves are such a great touch, it's so cozy. It's a great way to start the series, you instantly feel at home.

4. DDD - This one started this whole ranking thing. I love this one, I love it so much. I don't like DDD, I kinda despise it, but this is just so special. It's a damn WALTZ. And the way it grows on itself, it's stunning. I want this played at my damn wedding day.

5. CoM - It's a personal favorite of mine, I might not like the game but this is special for me. I wouldn't be able to tell you why, it's just comforting, like a big giant hug while it watches you suffer through the cards.

6. ML - THE CHOIR GUYS. THE FCKN CHOIR. It's just so GAHHHH I'm so hyped for this game MISSING LINK WHEN???? Like oh my gosh they went off with this song I hope this is actually the song that plays in the opening I kinda doubt it because of how absolutely extra it is but I just adore it. The claps and stomping is such a good touch

7. KH3 - This one is just so sweet, it's gorgeous. Bringing back the waves, ugh the WAVES. I'm a sucker for the waves. I wish I just had more emotional ties to KH3 because this could easily make top 5.

8. Unchained Key - I forgot how much I loved this one I started it at number 11 and then it started to get fast and I got so into listening to it. It's just such a vibe, it fits the mobile games very well.

9. BBS - I've never gotten the hype around this one? Like it's alright, it's certainly good! But it's just kinda, idk there. It sounds nice but at the same time they all sound nice so it just makes this one average. I like it when the parts start changing, I think that's the highlight of the song for me.

10. KH2 - As of writing this I've deleted kh2s accidentally TWICE. Let me explain my controversial pick AGAIN. KH2 is my favorite video game of all time, the DB has just never done much for me. Sure it's special, but it's for some reason not held up by nostalgia.

11. UX - I don't know why this one doesn't work for me. It's gorgeous, it's so pretty, but also I dunno... it just kinda exists? Why don't I like this it's stunning??? I truly can't tell you why this isn't doing much for me, this one may just change with my mood.

12. Back Cover - Uh yeah I dunno it's fine. It's pretty, it builds on itself nice enough.

13. Re:Coded - I think this was one of my first times actually listening to the recoded DB. And like, I dunno it's fine. It sounds a bit like the kh2 one, only everything feels a little off. It doesn't have the charm of other DBs. Like it's got charm, but it's nothing really too special. It's like Re:Coded as a game. It's fine, forgettable, but fine.

[firedragon1321]

HEY WHO WANTS SOME FUNNY BADFIC LINES?

I torture myself with badfic sometimes. There used to be a LiveJournal for posting this kinda stuff, but who uses LJ anymore? Here is a fine collection of horrible badfic lines and author’s notes, for your viewing pleasure.

Most of these are from Digimon fic. Some of these are NSFW, or from a NSFW source.

THE FIC LINES (SFW)

“Then Myotismon then said," I think that’s enough damage for one day, ciao!..."

Myotismon, Digimon

This one’s from a Digimon Mary Sue fic. Myotismon- a villain who wants to kill the child protagonists- kills only the Sue. The canon characters mourn the Sue. He has them at his mercy. But then he does...this. This is one of my personal favorites, but I never noticed there’s two “thens” in that sentence until tonight.

“You like what you see, Hugh? Come get it, come get your birthday gift. That’s right; you’re getting an ass as your birthday present. Who needs a Wii U when you’ve got an ass?”

Nate, Pokemon

I need to stop reading bad/OOC fic on purpose. But lines like this make it all worth the suffering. The succulent line “Who needs a Wii U when you’ve got an ass” made me break out laughing- hard. The rest of the fic was OOC crap, BTW.

“What the HELL ARE You Doing You Motherfukers! It was. Dumbledore!”

Dumbledore, Harry Potter My Immortal

This is one of the classics of badfic. I read it in one night. A skunk sprayed outside, providing an odor to enhance my reading experience. I went a little crazy and remember nothing but the famous introduction and this line. A pure gem.

"Stop calling Lexaeus my mom, it just creepy. I mean he's like almost 7 foot and hell of buff!"

Axel, Kingdom Hearts

I vaguely remember this fic was some kind of Soriku/AkuRoku Double Power Hour where Sora and Roxas were catboys or something. This line- like many of the other zingers- comes in out of fucking nowhere. Yes, Axel- Lexaeus is “hell of buff”. I also know the image is technically of Lea, but KH3 graphics are pretty.

“He smiled, before pulling off his plaid shirt. Don't worry, he had a white t-shirt underneath.”

Prose, Digimon

I used to do a lot of MSTs of Digimon fanfics. The Myotismon quote was from one of my victims. So is this one, which was a Stufic. The Stu’s target was Mimi. They were hanging out or going to bed or- God knows what. The author pulled the story to a full fucking stop to tell the reader about this white t-shirt. Just in case they thought things were getting too racy. The fic was rated K on fanfiction dot net.

“Mimi's eyes widened as she watched the older man grab Izzy's neck viciously as the man grabbed a rifle from his pocket and held it threateningly against the younger boy's head.”

Prose, Digimon

Another old MST victim. Yes, you read right. A thug pulled a full-size rifle out of his pocket. I had to stop my MST for two solid minutes because- no? I think the author meant a small handgun, not a fucking rifle. Fun fact- the minimum length of the barrel for a rifle is sixteen inches. This is equal to stuffing a standard ruler and then some in your pocket!

““DORA! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Screams Annie way too overdramatically.”

Prose, Digimon

This was another Suefic. Not sure if I actually MSTed this one. Anyone who knows Digimon knows that- right before crossing into the Digital World- your regular Joe experiences some freaky electronic behavior. A television playing Dora the Explorer- to the delight of some teenagers- zapped out, leading to this little gem.

"I had them not shoot you for the soul purpose to annoy you."

Leomon, Digimon

This fic was an MST fic and I fucking hated it. It was made by non-Digimon fans if I remember correctly, who made everyone OOC and stupid. And used “knave” as an insult a lot. Leomon was an antagonist- not sure if he was under Devimon’s control- and he summoned cupids to make the DigiDestined fall in love with random bullshit. TK was spared this gruesome fate. When he questions why, Leomon drops this zinger.

“He then kicked Gatomon a few feet (Because I hate Gatomon and so does Koushiro.) “

Prose, Digimon

Same fic as above. I forgot to mention the Author’s Notes liked to butt in at times, too.

"Sorry Miss Luna, but there are no breaks form learning your education,"

Teacher, Digimon

MST Suefic victim. This one is just a grammar mess. It looks like something Google Translate might write if it was allowed to make a fanfic. No- let’s not wish that into reality.

“He decided to act like a complete wigga and moonwalked home at 45 miles an hour.”

Prose, Beyblade

This was the most terrible Beyblade crackfic I’ve ever seen. I’m not sure if that’s supposed to be a slur in there? The moonwalking bit was what got to me, in addition to the very specific speed. The fic gets even worse. That gem of a line is in the NSFW section.

"ARE YOU SERIOUS?! RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY SALAD?!"

"Samus... there's no sal-"

"DON'T YOU KNOW WHAT A MEME IS!?"

Link and Samus, Smash Brothers

I honestly remember nothing about this fic except this line.

THE BEST POKEMON BATTLE EVER

(Note- I didn’t bold anything to avoid eye strain. The battle below is presented uncut in its entirety, to deliver maximum pain. Enjoy!)

+++++++++++++++++

"Let's get started, shall we?"

"Okay," Rosa said, moving away from Elesa to get their battle started. "Go, Emboar!" Rosa said, releasing an Emboar holding a Quick Claw.

"Go, Zapdos!" Elesa said, releasing a shiny Zapdos. "Thunderbolt, Zapdos!"

"Flare Blitz!"

Doing as told, the Emboar ignited himself, then he rushed towards Zapdos to tackle it. The Fire-type move instantly knocked Zapdos, but it costed a bit of Emboar's health.

"Impressive, I say. Go, Raikou!" Elesa said, and she released Raikou. "Thunderbolt!"

"Flare Blitz, again!"

The Emboar's Quick Claw didn't activate this time as Raikou attacked first with Thunderbolt, easily blacking Emboar out. "Go, Haxorus!" Rosa said, releasing Haxorus. "Outrage!"

"Hidden Power (Ice), Raikou!"

The Raikou's Hidden Power wasn't enough to knock Haxorus out as Haxorus retaliated with Outrage, knocking Raikou out as Elesa stomped her foot.

"Damn," Elesa cursed.

"Almost out of Pokemon?" Rosa asked.

"Yep, let's see what happens next!" Elesa replied.

After releasing her last Pokemon, a Magnezone holding a Life Orb, Elesa yelled, "Hidden Power (Ice)!"

Rosa didn't order her Haxorus to use a move since Outrage forces Haxorus to use it again. After getting hit, the Magnezone used Hidden Power to knock Haxorus out.

"I'm almost out too," Rosa said.

"Then let's finish this," Elesa said.

"Okay. Go, Sigilyph!" Rosa said, and she entered a shiny Sigilyph in battle. "Use Heat Wave, Sigilyph!"

"Avoid Heat Wave, then use Thunderbolt!"

Failing to avoid the Sigilyph's Heat Wave, the Magnezone blacked out and Rosa jumped up and down in joy, celebrating over a win against a Gym Leader.

THE FIC LINES (NSFW)

"She just walked away licking off your semen like it was gameshow slime."

Sora, Digimon

MST victim again. “She” is Kari and “your” is Tai. Yep- it was one of those fics. The fic was later revealed to be a deconstruction of ero-fics, exonerating it of all crimes. But this line remains, like a bad taste in your mouth.

"With my Viagra pills of the gods, anything is possible."

Palutena, Kid Icarus

This was...special. The fic was set up to be a Pit/Palutena fic, then abruptly bait-and-switched into Pit/TWINBELLOWS. This line explains why Twinbellows is willing to participate in a union straight from the Underworld.

“Jizztacular!“

Pit, Kid Icarus

Same fic as above. You can probably imagine when this line comes into play.

"Whut are you fuck'un norms looking at!" roared Granpa, his 134 inch knob swaying out in front like a barge pole. "GAY PRIDE WORLD WIDE!"

Ryu Granger, Beyblade

This is the same fic as the moonwalk line and hoo boy. I told you it got worse. How to make it even worse? Every single major male character is lined up behind him and- well, I’m sure you can figure out the rest.

THE AUTHOR’S NOTES

“this is a sentence that makes no sense for you enjoyment.“

AN, Kingdom Hearts

This is from a response to a PM from an anti, who wasn’t happy about the author sexualizing the underage characters. The author broke down the PM- itself poorly written- in a nasty, mocking way, making an ass out of the anti. This was part of that response, and perhaps the only redeeming quality of the exchange.

“My grandmother was a poet (she taught me to read, too!) and she watches over me from the Good Place The Good People Go. She watched me write all 12+ words of this. Do you think YOU can shame me, internet puritans? Do you really? No one can shame me or stop me. The only thing that can stop me is running out of tea.”

AN, Beyblade

This is similar to the AN above. It’s more of a general response to antis than a direct attack on one person. This line made me lose my mind laughing. Remember- it’s okay to write pedofics, as long as Grandma approves of them first! Props for having better spelling/grammar than the Kingdom Hearts AN...

THE END

You survived! Yay! This is my grand gallery of badfic lines and horrible author’s notes. I am honored to share it with all of you!

[h-worksrambles]

Did remind fix KHIII for you? Or did III need fixing, alternatively?

Hmmm. That’s a tricky question. Because the thing is, I actually really liked Kingdom Hearts III. I had a blast with it and I still do. I don’t think I enjoy it quite as much as I or II (though keep in mind those are some of my all time favourite games). But I still thought it was really fun. It looked and sounded gorgeous, it had a lot of great moments. And it was a return to form on a gameplay level compared to Birth By Sleep or Dream Drop Distance. And not just in terms of the combat. This is arguably the first Kingdom Hearts game since the first where the levels weren’t entirely hallways (with the possible exception of Dream Drop). And as someone who has been craving level design closer to KHI for years, that was huge for me.

That being said, I had some definite complaints and I completely understood why others were more disappointed than I was. On a gameplay level it was way too easy and lacked optional content. While my thoughts on the story are more complicated. Again, it had a lot of memorable moments that did work for me. At the same time though, the pacing was really off with a lot of long-awaited moments crammed together at the end. The Disney worlds, while very fun to play, weren’t as well utilised as they could have been. A lot of characters felt really under-utilised, with a lot of missed potential for development (Kairi especially, but Riku, Ventus and several others suffered from this too). Sora’s the only one who really gets a half decent character arc by the end. Everyone else here gets scraps. Though, to be fair, a lot of my issues with the writing carried over from past games. I stand by the fact that DDD didn’t do a very good job setting up for III, so it was already starting off on the back-foot.

So it’s tough for me to say whether III needed ‘fixing’ considering how much I enjoyed it despite its problems. But did patches and DLC make the game better for me? Well, yes. I did find myself much more engaged with the game on Critical so that’s one huge improvement. I loved the Data battles (which were arguably even better and more challenging than those in KHII). And the extra playable characters were all fun and engaging to play in a way that really enhances the final battles (Roxas and Kairi are sooooo much fun here). This version definitely better succeeded at giving everyone more moments to shine in the final battle. And I think when you take vanilla III and Re:Mind together, you get a pretty good endgame. Also, Yozora is a pretty sweet superboss (even though I still haven’t beaten him). Does it fix my overarching problems with III’s story? No. It’s still poorly paced and jam-packed at the end. It’s still juggling far too many characters and plot threads without enough time to breathe. It still spends too much time setting up the next arc rather than bringing these characters’ journeys to a satisfying stopping point. It still carries over a lot of the problems I’ve had with the series’ storytelling since BBS. Also playable Kairi is a joy and I appreciate how the boss fight shows rather than tells that she and Sora are a good duo who work well together. But like…it doesn’t change how little she’s allowed to do before that or the fact that she gets freaking fridged fifteen minutes prior.

Put simply, it’s complicated. Again I like III. I like it a lot. Re:Mind and Critical Mode definitely made a game I already enjoyed even better. But I don’t believe they entirely fix the story’s underlying problems. And if you already didn’t like III, shelling out 25 quid for this isn’t gonna change your mind. I hope that answers your question.

[absinthemadness]

I'm sorry. I can't do this anymore

So, this is dark. Like. Really dark and heavy. Post KH3 (probably?)

Warnings for: implied/faked death, implied suicide, depression, suicidal thoughts

Ye asked for angst, and Ye shall receive. 

It’s a bit of a scattered plot... but ehhh

---

The casket was there. But Roxas knew it was empty. It was there for show. Just like he was.

He was tired. So tired. He hadn't slept in a week. His tie felt too tight, his clothes too big.

Xion stood dutifully next to him, closest to the empty casket. She held tight to his hand, silent tears streaking down her face as they stood there, line of mourners passing in front of them, shaking their hands, giving them hugs. Trying to make them feel whole again.

But Roxas would never be.

Nights he'd lay awake, head of red hair in his lap, as they struggled to adjust to their new lives. Days he'd spent with Axel, trying to get that connection they'd had in the Organization back. Weeks he'd spent watching the light fade out of those green, green eyes.

And then he was gone. Not dead... not that Roxas knew. Just gone.

And Roxas started lying. He said he'd been the one to find Axel. He clammed up whenever anyone asked what Axel had done. Roxas would say that it merited the closed casket.

He lied and said he'd had no clue that Axel had been struggling.

"I'm sorry for your loss."

The words were knives every time they were spoken. They made the hole in Roxas’s chest ache, made Xion tear up, made tears spill over and over. And whenever there was a lull in the mourners, Roxas’s hand fell to his pocket, slipping in to caress the edges of a paper that had been unfolded and refolded thousands of times since Roxas had woken up to it on his pillow.

The first lines were, 'I'm sorry. I can't do this anymore.' Roxas’s heart had taken off in an immediate sprint, expecting wholly that he was about to read Axel's final words. But to his surprise and brief relief, they went on to say that he was leaving, disappearing to somewhere that no one knew him, where there were no expectations from him. So still his final words.

He said to make up a story so that no one would ever come looking for him. But why? Why would he do something like that to Roxas? How could he do something like that to someone who was supposed to be his best friend?

Maybe that was why.

Unsurprisingly, the messages he sent went unanswered. His phone calls, straight to voicemail.

From that day forward, he carried that piece of paper in his pocket. Unable to believe that Axel was gone.

And in a way, it would have been easier if Axel had died that day.

He wanted to know where Axel was. Wanted to hold him. He wanted to ask so many whys. He'd thought there was something there. That if he had to leave, that he would take Roxas away with him. Maybe even Xion.

But he'd left. And he'd left Roxas with the knowledge. With the heartbroken friends and family. With the sole desire to find Axel.

To punch him? Beg him to come home? Hug him?... Kiss him?

But he couldn't leave. He couldn't leave Xion. He'd feel horrible knowing she'd feel like she lost two friends.

Forgetting Axel was a monumental task, though. His presence was everywhere in their little apartment.

Xion was the first to go, moving in with Namine and Kairi across town. Leaving Roxas to sleep in Axel's bed, curled up with a shirt that had been left behind until Axel's scent faded from it.

More and more he found himself sitting in the middle of Axel's room, tears streaking down his face. He knew he was torturing himself, but just couldn't stop.

It reached a point where Xion had come to visit and walked in to him screaming and cursing at the empty bed.

"Fuck you, Axel. Wherever you are. I hope you're miserable for the rest of your damn life. I hope you die." With that last line he broke, choking back a sob.

Arms wrapped around his shoulders as Xion sank to the floor behind him. "You don't mean that." Her voice shook. "I know you don't mean that."

"I do," Roxas’s voice cracked, tears spilling over. "I hope he dies. I hope I die. I can't take this, Xion." the arms tightened. "Why did he have to tell me? Why couldn't he have just vanished?"

"Because we would have known."

"I just wish…" He half hiccuped a sob. "That I'd told him so much more. I wish I could have told him how much I loved him."

"How much you still do…" Her voice was the barest of whispers.

"How much I always will. I have to go find him." He knew he never would, though. The universe was just far too big. And he clearly wasn't that important. He knew if he found Axel, if Axel was happy. If he had someone who wasn't Roxas…

Roxas wouldn't come home.

He'd thought about it far too many times. He'd planned it out. No one would believe he'd done it on purpose. After all, many were lost to gummi ship accidents every year. All it would take was a little nudge into an asteroid. Or just let the heartless ships overwhelm him. It would be easy.

The only reason he hadn't at that point was Xion. And maybe his therapist. Maybe the faint hope he held onto that Axel would come back someday. That Roxas would one day be complete.

[konohoshis]

if you may allow me to cheat by asking two characters: xion and namine!

thank u shay shay ilu <3

xion

xion is so Gender(tm): i really love how trans and nb fans just latched onto xion being this allegory for gender and self identity. we all know why so i won't get into again, but i truly thank not only kh for giving me xion, but also the fans for opening my eyes to this so i can better understand myself.

when i was growing up, i never knew why i attached myself to creatures. i had nicknames like mouse girl, i wanted to be a ghost girl, i always played the non-human dancer in just dance. and xion is literal doll, taking on the identity of a human, and trying to figure out how to do that, how to be that. she has her own wants, she wants to be her person, but people are always looking at her differently. she looks and acts and is whoever the other person wants her to be. when she's finally away from that, that's when she gets her identity at last. that is so powerful to me, especially since it hits so close.

her dynamic with roxas and riku are so good. riku and xion both think they're one thing and that's their sole purpose, but because they can see each other for who they really are, they help each other see the truth. they're their own person, fighting through the darkness, having their own embodiments of light(sora and roxas) to keep them on the path. roxas never lets xion think she's anyone else other than herself. he believes in her, wants to her to be happy, like she belongs and is worth a life just as much as he is.

also the fact that she can copy other people's weapons is sick

namine:

SHE NEEDS MORE!!!!! SHE IS SO POWERFUL AND SHE'S NOT DOING ANYTHING!!!!!!

nami has such an incredible literal mind breaking power. she could've let the org turn her into this evil "witch" that they want her to be, but she stays kind.

it's so heartbreaking to think of how lonely she truly was. how much torment she suffered at the hand of diz and the org, she also wanted to live in someone's memory so that someone knows her and she'll have the essence of a friend if that makes sense

i wish i could articulate my feelings about her more but she's seriously such a precious character to me

[violetteviolence]

so we talk about recovery from abuse and trauma and how characters like ventus, riku, and roxas ect battle with the darkness but ultimately are able to see and chose the light and heal and recover from the things that have happened to them whereas characters like vanitas don't and cant heal and ultimately fall to darkness

and I was wondering what the main difference was between them and then I realized. its Sora.

riku, roxas, and ventus all have sora after their trauma. hes an ever present light in their lives supporting and guiding them and helping them heal. sora literally takes roxas and ven into his heart and let's them have time and space to heal. we take an entire game in re:coded for sora to help roxas believe he is his own person. he goes to the ends of the universe to physically drag riku back out of the darkness in multiple games

but vanitas never has sora. never even truly meets him until kh3. and the most heart wrenching part about that? vanitas knows this! he knows about sora and sees him helping and healing everyone else. but he never comes for vanitas (because he doesn't know he exists this isnt soras fault) and vanitas never reaches out to sora because he feels he doesn't deserve it. they keep missing eachother. so what does vanitas do in his desperate and twisted attempt to heal?

he takes on soras face. living inside soras heart healed ventus, so why shouldn't having soras face help heal vanitas? he even tells us as much in 3! he saw ventus using sora to heal and tried to do the same himself. it doesn't work of course, because vanitas is fundamentally misunderstanding how to heal because hes never experienced true support or love before. but vanitas does it anyway. he takes that piece of sora too because he desperately doesn't want to be left out. left alone. deep down he wants to heal and find peace like the rest of them and he sees they're all doing this thru sora but doesn't really understand how.

and then by the time he meets sora and sora has a chance to see this broken wretched boy suffering in misery and darkness its too late. sora tries to step in and say this isn't okay but its already over. vanitas is too lost and he makes the choice to die because in his mind, there's nothing left for him.

and now I've made myself so sad I need to lie down for a while

[sirladysketch]

Quick sketch for an Akuroku twitter prompt! "roxas is a form of Mnemosyne, the goddess of memory, and axel is hades"

I might try to go back and make this more painterly at some point, but have the sketch for now~

SURPRISE I’m back with some backstory:

Axel is Hades, ruler of the underworld, and he falls in love with a mortal man, Roxas.  They pass happy times together until <redacted> happens and Roxas dies. Normally this would mean that Roxas would descend into Hades and would get to spend the rest of eternity by Axel's side. Unfortunately, in an unexpected turn of events, the thing that killed him either accidentally deified him, or revealed a mixed bloodline, and he becomes the god of memory.

Because of this, Roxas is not permitted to stay in the underworld, so the two of them are fated to be apart forever. Axel pines and pleads for an exception to be made, but the Fates will not allow it. At one point, it gets to be so bad that Axel threatens to stop doing his job, which means no more death on earth.

Rather than allow Axel to suffer the memory of him forevermore (and for Earth to become overwhelmed), Roxas strips him of his memories of their time together. Axel returns more or less to normal/what he was like before he met Roxas, and Roxas hides from both the underworld so that he won't accidentally return the memories. He keeps himself separate from the other gods, resentful that they would not allow them to be together, and tries to keep the memories of happier times alive in his dreams.

This sort of works, but every so often Axel has the vague feeling that something is wrong, feels the ghosts of memories on his skin and the whispers of long-forgotten sweet nothings in his ears. He's not happy, but he's not unhappy, so he tries to make his peace with his lot in life. Then some of the newer shades arrive with no memory of how they died, and no one on earth seems to remember them/mourn their passing. The only clues is that they'd been on a quest to visit a rumored grove in search of immortality. Axel decides to investigate this grove of death and finds it filled with the remains of those adventurers, and at the heart, a sleeping man. Axel doesn't know why, but he's familiar.

True Love's Kiss breaks the sleeping spell Roxas placed on himself and they vow to never part again, no matter what. They figure it out and "live" happily ever after, Axel as king of the dead, and Roxas as the embodiment of the memories of the forgotten dead.

[prpledusk]

AAAAND ROUND IT OUT CAUSE ITS TIME FOR XIG HEADCANNONS!

Xigbar is chill. Like dead cat chill. Like most of the time you'll find him sleeping, reading, vibing or smoking some kinda odd substance? Ehhhhh dont ask kids.

Xigbar often hangs with either Xemnas or Demyx. Demyx's music calms him down and he's just fun to talk to in general (plus his face is cute.) And Xemnas while also being easy on the eyes makes for stimulating conversation when he isnt monologueing info rhe moon. Plus Xems a huge dork that Xig can get away with teasing.

As for the others?? Ehh...Xigbar acts as a kinda wine aunt to the kids and as for the rest he can do without. Luxord has to be one of the least irritating to play with but he keeps xig on his toes cause lux never plays fair.

Xigbar can play piano, though he's not sure why or how? Its more or less muscle memory. Put him in front of one and suddenly its like he's memorized all of the masters songs...weird.

Xigbar has to regularly clean his eyesocket. The scar oved his cheek still hurts yeah but nowhere near as baddly as his socket. Injuries caused by darkness dont heal right ya see, and they continue hurting like a bitch until you fade completly. Xigs more or less numb to the pain but it still aches if he gets lazy and forgets to clean his eye.

He has an eyepatch made specifically to wink with.

He's touchy feely but only with those he lets close. Xemnas is fun to bunk with as the bossman also apparently likes cuddling and he's soft and firm enough to make a greate pillow! Meanwhile demyx is just t i n y with Xig around him. The blondies basically a tree while Xigs just a sloth or a spider with his gangly limbs.

Xigbar collects junk. Just any junk. Stuff he mightve seen from luxu's memories or spark any kind of sensation in him. He has a box full of nifty lil erasers.

Flirty as fuuuuuuck

Yes he does take the kids on crimes with him. Yes they did rob a doughnut shop. No they will not write a report fuck off saix.

Xig sleep walks. Up and down the halls, into the kitchen, he'll make a whole ass steak then sit on the ceiling for a few hours before falling down and waking up after hitting his head. The steak dinner makes up for the pain.

Xig also suffers from nightmares. Luxu and braigs memories hit him hard but any memory involving MoM leaves him completly shaken.

Ghost!braig woo woo!

Braig and Xig get along ehhhhhhhh okay? To Xig its just silly how Braig keeps fighting back when its all just gonna end the same way. With Braig back with him and Luxu so like...whats the point?

Xigbar gets the brunt of Luxu's anger. Being that Xigbars the body thats how Luxu see's him. As a body, A husk that should do as its told just like Luxu. And Luxu holds the ability to control Xigs movements like a puppet, he doesnt care if Xigbar is damaged in the process and to be honest Xigbar doesnt either. Sure disapearing sucks but at the end of the day Xigs not suppose to exist so why get mad? Especially when he's just another stepping stone in someone elses plans.

Xigbar doesnt get why he cries sometimes, it just happens. And sometimes it'll be so bad that his head spins and he forgets how to breathe. The world squeezes around him and he stops functioning properly for a while. During these times he's taken to the infirmary and vexen calls it a "panic attack" but like thats impossible right? Nobodies dont have panic attacks.

Xigbar is an end to a mean, both his arms are bound to the other three and he cant do anything about any of this. He has no control at all and is for the most part a nobody in a literal and metaphorical sense.

Xigbar might understand how Roxas feels to an extent.

Same with Xion.

Puppets can relate he guesses.

At least he can enjoy what little relief he can have during these times.