#why have I never noticed the A with the heart on top on nicholas’s shirt before?

[rwrbsource]

[dsireland86]

LOVESONG

Nicholas Ruffilo x Reader

18+ for smut, language, and angst

"However far away I will always love you However long I stay I will always love you/Whatever words I say I will always love you I will always love you"

TAGS:

@somewhere-diamond, @philomenie, @pathion, @acciobuckybarness

                            Lovesong

“Whenever I’m alone with you, you make me feel like I am home again/ Whenever I’m alone with you, you make me feel like I am whole again.”

The constant dragging of the pen across my skin doesn’t hurt nearly as bad as I thought it would. Nick was right when he told me I'd be fine. I watch him, how he easily guides the needle over my skin, following the lines of the words painted on my arm. It’s a simple tattoo; simple words in simple writing, but it’s the meaning behind them. It’s what it represents that makes me smile. I look up at Nick and watch his expression, so serious, so focused, and smile, grateful that he's mine.

“There, finished,” he says, turning off the pen and removing his gloves. I bring my arm over and grin when I see the finished product. It’s perfect. I have no intention masking the tears forming behind my eyes either because if there’s anything Nicholas knows best about me it’s that I get emotional when it comes to him, so I leave them, letting them softly slide down my cheeks. The words carry a deep meaning for me and Nick ever since we listened to the song they belonged together. It was the first time we kissed, and that first kiss led to many sweet, hot make out sessions and moments of realizing that neither of us wanted anyone else. They were the bridge that connected our hearts together and reminded us of the truth; that we would always love each other. Looking up into his pale green eyes, he slid his hand over my cheek while holding my stare, smiling.   

“I love it, thank you baby.” Grinning, I pull Nicholas into me, giving him a gentle kiss, but the more he leans into me, the more greedy I become. Our tongues meet and dance together as I grip the corner of his shirt with my one good hand and cling to him, never wanting to let him go. If I do, I might stop breathing. “How can I be so fucking attracted to you by just you laying in chair like this,” he mumbles against my lips while climbing on top of me. Giggling, I welcome him, opening my legs wider so he can lay into me and when he does I instantly feel complete. The pressure of his swollen length, hard against my heat, stirs the fire in me that is yearning to ignite into something unstoppable. Nick’s breath is shaky, telling me he’s thinking of things he probably shouldn’t be, but rubs noses with mine anyway, caressing the side of my face with his long, tattooed hand. He creases his brow in frustration, trying to find a stimulant for the friction between his own legs. I want to be that stimulant so I encourage him by arching my back and thrusting my sex against him. “Why am I so freaking in love with you,” he grumbles and lowers his lips to my neck. I arch my head back further to give him more access and moan as he continues rubbing against me. “I could write poems on your neck with my lips; that’s how much I love you.” I feel the low rumble of a growl against his chest as his lips slide across my neck.

“You just love the idea of me,” I joke.

“No.” Nicholas pulls back and looks at me. “No,” he says again, caressing the side of my face again. "I do love you,” pecking my lips. I can’t help but smile a little and pull him down with my one good arm, and kiss him, hard. 

“I love you too; so much that I can’t even explain it.” 

Nick’s eyes have always been the focal point for me. They were the first thing I ever noticed about him. They way they look at me, see me, they just make me dive right into him, head first with no regret. We stare into each other for a moment and just when I think he’s about to get up, he lifts my shirt up instead and begins to drag his hands over my belly and under the waistband of my leggings, making me gasp. He looks up at me with a smirk and tugs at my leggings, until he has them partially down. 

“Nick, what the fuck!” I’m so scared someone’s going to catch us. 

“Relax, Y/N. We’re good. It’s late. No one’s coming back tonight.” He gets up off me and pulls the privacy curtain that loops entirely around his work space closed. 

“Better,” he asks? I nod, giving him a shy smile. “Are you going to leave me like this?” pointing towards my bottom half. Nick pulls out his phone and my eyes grow wide. “Don’t you dare, Ruffilo,” I scold him. But he just smiles and snaps a few pictures of me before I’m able to do anything. “For memories sake,” he smirks. “No!” I cry, throwing my head back, laughing. Leaving me exactly how I am, Nick begins to clean up my finished tattoo, working carefully, but quickly so we can continue where he left off. After covering it properly and removing his gloves, he slides over to me on his rolling stool and removes my leggings entirely. Spreading my legs and exposing my soaking wet pussy to his eyes alone, Nicholas licks his lips and whistles. “Really, We’re doing this here?” Not that I minded. I just wanted to hear him tell me how badly he wanted me. He looks up at me and grins while grabbing his phone and after a few seconds of waiting, our song begins to play over the bluetooth speaker.

My heart stops beating and the feeling that swallows me up is indescribable. “Nick,” I whisper as “Lovesong” by the Cure plays, filling the room with a haunting aurora. “Relax my love. Embrace the feeling,” he says convincingly, rising to his feet and pulling me down until my ass is partially off the chair. He sinks to his knees as I grip the sides of the chair in anticipation of what’s about to happen. When his tongue licks up in between my folds a loud, unintentional cry escapes me, and as he begins to work up my pussy, I embrace the feeling  rushing through me like he told me to and refuse to hold back any sound or word that wants to escape. 

“Shit baby, fuck,” I moan, feeling Nick’s tongue plunge deep inside my opening. Between the lyrics being belted out by Robert Smith and the way Nick is fucking me with his mouth, my arousal is climbing quickly to its tipping point. “Y/N, I fucking love you so much, you know that, right?” I look down at Nick and the way he’s staring at me, mouth glistening with a mixture of my juices and his spit have me all kinds of crazy. But I nod, too out of breath to say anything. He smiles while running his finger through my slit and I hear him moan the second he dives back into me, eating and devouring everything he wants. “You’re mine to touch,” I hear him say in between the cries for more that spill out of me. “No one else's.” He slides two fingers at a time inside me, causing me to thrust into the feeling of them sliding between my walls as his tongue continues its electrifying assault. The sounds he’s making are edging me closer.

“Fuck, Nick, I want you, please. I want you on me, in me,” I pant, moaning when his fingers start pumping faster. I grind harder against them, pushing them knuckle deep and coating them with the wetness that only Nick can create in me. “That’s it, love, push that sweet pussy hard against my fingers. Soak my fingers and let me see those juices drip down my wrist just for me.” My thighs are shaking. Nick notices and takes a moment to stop and plant sweet kisses inside of them, biting tenderly at the warm flesh. I can’t hold back my moans. I don’t care if the whole street can hear me. The way Nick is making me feel is worth it. “God, Y/N the way you cry for me is so beautiful. I wanna hear more of it.” His mouth finds my entrance again, and this time he doesn’t hold back. “I want to make you cum for me baby.” I can’t deny the heat spreading under my skin or the fire in my abdomen that I feel. I know I’m close. “Nicky, fuck baby I’m almost there. Don’t stop, please don’t stop,” I beg him, reaching for the back of his head. My fingers find his hair and I tangle them in his messy bun, pushing his face against my cunt and locking his head in place with my thighs. His one hand locks around my calf and squeezes hard while the other one is pumping in and out of me at a merciless rhythm. With my heart racing and my muscles tightening, I grip Nick’s hair and start to moan louder, begging him not to stop as my arousal comes crashing into me, finishing me off on such a high that tears slip from the corners of my eyes and down to my ears. I’m breathless and my head is slightly spinning when Nick stands up, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “I can’t hold back any longer,” he confesses, undoing his belt and letting his pants and boxers fall to the floor. “I want you… here…right now,” pulling me down a little more and lining his swollen cock with my sex.

“Seeing you between my legs is so fucking hot.” Nicholas raises his eyes to me and grins big, and then without warning, slams himself into me like a savage dog. His lips part, exposing his teeth making the feeling of the ridges on his cock buried deep in me more intoxicating than before. I urge him on, panting and moaning his name along with words barely audible, watching the euphoric expression on his face take over. He throws his head back, holding my legs wrapped tightly around him and continues to pound into me, taking from me everything that makes him feel like a man. “That’s it my love, say my name as I fuck your tight little pussy that holds me just right.” He looks down then lays into me, kissing my lips with so much hunger I almost can’t breathe. Gripping his shoulders, I squeeze, digging my nails into the flesh covered by his black “My Chemical Romance” shirt. “Nicky,” I moan, unable to finish my thought. He picks up his pace, thrusting into me at a frantic pace. My walls are fluttering around his cock as shockwaves grip my body. “Y/N, fuck baby you’ve got me almost there. Keep moaning for me, keep crying,” he growls, throwing his thumb over my clit and circling it as quickly as he can. I cry louder for him as my own climax explodes all around me and it proves to be enough for Nicholas as he quickly shoves the front of my shirt up, pulls out of me and releases his cum all over my stomach, shuttering and moaning out the rest of his orgasm. “Holy fuck, Y/N,” he nervously laughs. He milks himself one last time before  placing a quick kiss on my lips and backs away to pull his pants back up. I lay there feeling utterly spent and out of breath, but feeling completely satisfied. Nick comes over with a towel, wiping up his mess and cleaning me off. Apparently, he put “Lovesong” on repeat because it starts over for a third time. But this time we sit across from each other and listen to the words together.

As we clean up and get ready to go home, we talk about how we’re adding tonight to the box of secret memories that include all the hot and heavy make out sessions in the book store where I work. 

It’s a favorite place of ours. On weekends when I’m not working we get expensive coffee, dive into gothic authors like Poe and Walpole, and listen to The Cure on Nick's old Discman while sharing earbuds. I nestle in close to him with his arm around me and we share a book that I always let him pick out. It makes him happy and that’s all I want; to see Nicholas happy.

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------

We intended to spend the rest of our lives together and add more secrets to our box. But soon after Nicholas left with his band for a two month tour things started changing for me. My dad got really sick. So sick that we had to move hours away to be closer to the hospitals that were trying everything to save him. I didn't have a choice in anything that happened and it didn’t seem fair. Nick and I tried all we could to make the long distance and work schedules work, but with his constant touring, the outbreak, and my dad's sickness getting worse, life suddenly came crashing down all around us. It left us both broken, hurting in ways we never thought were possible for us. It ended us. I was the one who chose to walk away first because it was too painful to continue digging into wounds that were trying to heal. Everytime Nicholas left for a tour or to fly out to California, he took a piece of me with him, until eventually, I didn’t even recognize who I was anymore. I was done feeling that way. Our box of secrets eventually got buried, and possibly forgotten about at least for Nicholas. That’s what I always told myself on the days where I longed and ached for him. It was the easiest way to deal with it.  If he didn’t care then why should I? 

Eventually the pain passed and eventually the hurt faded, but I never got over Nick and the fact that I was the one that ultimately ended us. I carried that guilt with me everywhere. Especially with the success of his band. Bad Omens was everywhere and it seemed like no matter where I went I saw all four of their sweet faces or heard Noah’s incredible vocals that I knew he busted his ass to accomplish. He certainly wasn’t the boy in Folio’s garage screaming his head off anymore. 

They had made it and they were living everything they talked about living and wanting during all those late nights I would spend with them in Nick's basement, all of them high or wasted. I was proud to have been there from the very beginning, watching them grow and conquer shit as a band and as individuals. But I was heartbroken to not be there now and often wondered, many times, if any of them still thought about me, especially Nicholas. The words tattooed on my skin with the memory of what happened after were a constant reminder of my stupidity. But I chose to pick up the broken pieces of life anyway and carry on living despite the pain. I had to fight even if it hurt.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

“However far away, I will always love you

However long I stay, I will always love you

Whatever words I say, I will always love you

I will always love you”

I moved back a few months ago. With Dad’s death and Mom refusing to leave where his last moments with us were, I decided it was time for me to spread my wings a little. I missed my old home, the town, and the memories, and since it wasn’t too far from Mom, I signed a two year lease on an apartment right down from the old bookstore where I used to work. It closed about a year and a half after I left when the owners passed away. One died right after the other, possibly from a broken heart. The idea that one couldn't live without the other was beautiful, sort of like an “Annabell Lee” kind of thing. I could still hear Nick’s quiet voice when he told me how beautifully morbid my mind was after telling him it was my favorite poem of Poe's. I saw a different look in his eyes that day; the dark green hoodie he was wrapped in bringing out the soft green in his narrow orbs. The way they stared at me felt as if he might’ve been thinking about forever. Maybe he was. Needless to say that afternoon was another memory for our box of secrets.

—-----------------------------------------------------------------

Our fingers tangle, weaving in and out of each other’s as I sit between Nicholas’s legs, my head against his chest. There’s a soft silence between us once I finish the poem and gently close the book, laying it down next to me. The only thing we can hear from our small cozy nook tucked away in the back of the bookstore is the soft shuffling of a customer’s feet or the ringing of the doorbell indicating movement coming in or going out. 

Nick places a gentle kiss on the side of my head. “Your mind is morbid, Y/N, but beautiful,” he states, stroking my hair away from my forehead and releasing a light chuckle. I lay my arms to rest on each of his legs that are covered by his favorite pair of black jeans; the ones with the holes in them. They’re my favorite too because they give me access to places only I’m allowed to touch. Massaging his thighs, I slide two fingers through the holes, feeling the warm flesh buried beneath them and I hear a subtle groan slip through his lips. It makes my toes tingle. “I know, I can’t help it. But I think it might be a reason you like me so much,” I say, smiling as I feel his thigh muscles flex then relax and he takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. “It’s not the only reason I like you so much,” he muses. Nicholas lays his hands over mine as I continue to rub his legs, craving to feel more than just the little spot beneath my fingers. He leans down and runs his moist lips up my neck, leaving traces of small kisses as he goes. I clench between my legs as my core tingles with the familiar feeling I get everytime I’m close to Nick like this. I know he’s trying to work me up just as much as I am him. I close my thighs and the cool wetness of my arousal that soaks my panties rubs against my skin. I moisten my lips and whimper, shifting and purposely pushing hard against Nick's swollen cock. “Shit,” he mumbles, sucking in a light breath through his teeth

I knew where this was going, and as long as we were quiet, we'd get away with it. I remove my fingers from the holes and move them further up his slim legs, closer to where his hardness is pushed against my back. He twitches against me, causing me to giggle and wiggle against him some more. Nick’s breath hitches in his throat. “Two can play this game you know,” he croons, acknowledging my actions while taking a bit of my ear between his teeth and sucking it as I softly cry out. His hands snake around me and one finds the bottom of my throat;  thumb and finger finding the perfect points to quiet me as the rest wrap around the sides, restricting my airwaves. The other one trails over my thigh and dives right into my warm center, gripping it, rubbing it, and shamelessly slides two of its fingers knuckle deep inside me. I want to moan, but Nick tightens his grip on my throat. “Shhhhhh…. You need to be a good girl and stay quiet. If you do, maybe I’ll let you cum on my dick instead of my fingers,” he whispers. My chest rises and falls quickly from the overstimulation of Nick’s fingers that are slowly and mercilessly moving in and out of my wet cunt that’s been hungry for him all day. My choked moans only encourage him to go faster, creating that coiling feeling all over my sensitive bundle of nerves. “Nick, I wanna cum so badly,” I whine weakly as the heart spreads under my skin. But the only thing I hear in return is the panting sounds coming from behind me.

Nick is totally getting off on what he’s doing to me and the thought alone makes me clench around his fingers.  My arousal is at its peak and Nick has managed to build my pleasure up in such a way that I’m about to set a record and cum for him after only a few minutes of his foreplay. But just as the heat begins to pool in my lower back and abdomen, telling me I’m about to, he stops, pulling his fingers out of me, leaving me empty and whimpering for his touch. His grip on my throat loosens and I relax against him. “Fuck, Nick,” I hiss, my body limp in his arms. I hear him chuckle and feel the deep vibration in his chest. “I told you if you were good I’d let you cum on my dick, so get up here,” he insists, lifting me up. Excitedly, I sit up, turning around to face him. The hard bulge between his legs shows me just how well I can satisfy him and I can’t resist the temptation to run the palm of my hand over it applying the right amount of pressure. Nick releases a pleasurable groan and lays his head back against the wall. 

“You sound like you’re hungry for something,  my love,” I whisper through a quaky breath. I can feel those pangs of excitement inside my walls again that are craving Nicholas and everything he can offer me. From the sweet and fun sex, down to the rough and dirty, he knew my body like he knew the chords to his music and he knew what to do and how to work it to his benefit. 

“I’m starving for you to slip me inside you. He is hungry, baby.” he admits, rubbing his crotch, trying to find some release from the friction. The desperation in his tone doesn’t go unnoticed and I suddenly want to give him everything he wants. Brushing the hair out of his eye, I look into his soft eyes and straddle him and start to rub my aching sex against his cock. His hands find my hips, pushing me further into him. 

“God bless woman, if this is what reading a little bit of Poe does to you, then I wanna read  his complete works and fuck you until you’re screaming my name.” Nicholas grips my bottom and pushes me harder against him until I can feel the discomfort penetrating the tender flesh of my clit and making me whimper some more. “It wouldn’t take long, that’s for sure,” I admit, wrapping my arms around his neck. I raise myself up, shoving my breasts closer to his face, and he nuzzles in between them with his nose. Without a word he lifts my shirt and pulls the cup of my bra down, releasing my nipple to the coolness surrounding us. His teeth quickly latch on, nipping and sucking it, making it harder than before, and eventually takes the whole breast in his mouth. I moan and grind on him, praying he doesn’t stop anytime soon. “Fuck me, right now, Y/N,” the tone in his voice filled with desperate urgency.  Nick doesn’t have to repeat himself. I climb off him and undo his pants and help him slide them off and in one quick tug he has mine off. “Wait,” he says before I climb back on top of him. I look down to see a sly look covering his face. “Hand’s on the wall,” he orders, taking my legs and pulling me closer to his face. I grin, licking my lips and closing my eyes as I do as I’m told. I know what I’m about to feel is going to take me over the edge and I hope I can remain quiet. 

“Your pussy is a work of art, Y/N,” Nicholas praises, sliding a finger through my wetness. I suck in a huge breath and bite my lip to stay quiet. “Look how wet you are for me baby. So needy, ready for my cock to disappear into your body and stretch you, ripping you apart until you’re shaking and spilling your juices all over my dick. Fuck, love.” Nick’s words have my legs trembling and it takes all my effort to keep myself up. I quietly moan, throwing my hand over my mouth and biting the inside of my finger to keep from crying out in desperate need for him. “Nick,” I moan against my hand. He slips a finger in me, prodding me, then slides his tongue over my lips, licking up and moistening my pussy with his spit. “Nick, fucking dammit, I can’t,” “Fuck me, Y/N,” he demands, knocking my legs until I collapse in his arms. I grip his cock and bring it to my entrance, sinking down on it until it completely disappears inside me. The pressure fills me, and the fullness of him claiming me is making me desperate to feel more. “Oh my god,” Nick cries into my neck,  grabbing my hips to push and pull me against him. “You like claiming what’s yours, baby,” I ask, pulling up off him until just the tip of his cock is touching my walls. I circle it for a moment before sinking back down on him, watching his expression fade into pure erotic ecstasy. “You know I do,” he answers, breathlessly. Nicholas groans deep in his throat, tightening his grip on my hips until I’m sure he’s leaving bruises. My hands grab his neck as I begin to grind and rock against him, slowly and sweetly at first, but picking up the pace as the climax in both of us continues to grow. “Oh god baby, that’s it. Ride me Y/N. Grind on me until we find that spot that’s going to make you cum for me.” The warmth that’s created by the two of us starts to make us sweat and I cling to Nick as if my life depends on it. I’m in love with him, intoxicated by everything about him.

“You're so beautiful, love,” Nick gushes. I smile and lower my lips to his, hiding a thousand words of love for him, hoping he’ll taste them one by one. “If the universe took you from me I wouldn’t rest until I found you again,” Nicholas whispers in my ear as his teeth graze the outer lobe. I pick up the pace of riding him gently while his lips find the soft flesh of my breasts. He wraps his tongue around them and takes the nipples between his teeth, nipping them gently enough to get the rise out of me he’s looking for. I seethe, bringing my hands to the back of his head to keep him there as I push my overstimulated, soaking wet pussy further onto his throbbing cock; the deep ridges and crevices massage my inner walls as I continuously move back and forth at a faster pace. 

“I think the angels aren’t happy when they look at us,” Nick says, gripping my hair and tugging it back just so he can kiss my neck the way he wants to. He lingers on one spot a little too long, leaving behind his mark of ownership that leaves me beaming with pride. 

I'm too overwhelmed with what's happening between my legs to think about anything else except how good Nick is making me feel and how it's getting harder to suppress the cries dying to escape. I bite my bottom lip and fall into his shoulder. “They don’t get to feel you cum like I do.” He pushes in harder, pushes deeper, hitting that spot that he knows is his alone. “Nick, you’re ma…” I can't finish my thought as a deep cry fills the back of my throat. My body is on fire. The familiar heat is pooling in my lower abdomen and I can feel my climax coming quickly. “I’m what baby,” he purrs, reaching his hand down and using his thumb to apply the right amount of pressure on my clit as he circles it.  I moan a little too loudly, earning Nick’s hand over my mouth. “You want to cum for me?” he growls, clenching his jaw and tightening his grip on my waist. I nod quickly as a single tear slips down my cheek.  Nick removes his hand from my mouth and replaces it with his mouth, his tongue slipping inside mine and claiming every part of it his. “Then cum for me, Y/N. Tell me I’m the only one who has your soul. Not the angels, not the demons; only me.” And I did. I cum so hard on Nicholas leaving ungodly marks on his shoulders that I’m left in tears. Nick kisses the side of my head as I relax into him, breathing heavily as he rests his hands on my back and drags his fingers up and down my skin. 

—-----------------------------------------------------------------

I wiped the tears that had unknowingly fallen. Those memories of Nicholas were so beautiful to me, yet were the death of me each time I brought them out of their box. I missed him; my soul was slowly dying for him. 

The windows of the old bookstore were boarded up but not the front door. The bell that rang out each time someone walked in or out was still on the front, rusted and out of use. Inside was dark and I could vaguely see dust covering bookshelves that had been left behind just like the memories of Nick. I looked down at my arm, running a finger over the words that were slowly starting to dull, and smiled at the thoughts. Wiping my face, I continued my walk home, pulling my phone out the moment it vibrated. I stopped, frozen in time. There was a text message… from Noah. My hands started shaking and my heart started racing. At first I thought about just deleting it without reading it, but then I realized that wouldn’t be fair to Noah. He didn’t do anything. So I opened the message, never prepared for what I was about to read.

“Hey, Y/N, it’s Noah. I know it’s been like forever since we’ve talked, but I came across your number, at least I hope it's still your number, and thought I would reach out to you and see how things have been. We're planning a trip home to visit some friends and family and it made me think of you. (Yes, some of us still consider you family). Did you ever move back once your dad got better or are you still living at the new place? I hope he’s better too by the way. You’ve been on my mind so much lately. I don’t know why. Maybe it's because Nicholas brought you up for the first time in so long when he played some chords to a Cure song. He seemed to have gone somewhere else while playing it. I think he might’ve been thinking about you. He smiled when he was done, and I swear I saw tears, but then got up and left the room before any of us could ask if he was okay. Anyway, I really hope this is still your number, but if not, well at least I tried. If it is, I hope you'll text me back soon, please 🙏.  

-Noah

“This is a horrible stupid idea,” I sighed, mentally screaming at myself for choosing to do this. After hours of debating and overthinking I replied to Noah's text. He kept his word and texted me a week later when they arrived, giving me the address to the air bnb they were staying. 

So here I was slowly driving down a street I didn’t know, searching for a house that was bigger and prettier than anything I’ve ever been in, and praying I didn’t throw up. 

“Holy shit,” I cried, stopping in front of a white three story country style house surrounded by some large oak trees and a massive porch that wrapped around most of the house. It was beautiful. 

There were other vehicles in the driveway so parking there was out of the question. I took it as a sign I should turn around and leave and was about to when my phone vibrated.

“Park anywhere”

-Noah

“Shit,” I huffed. Wait. Was Noah spying on me? I narrowed my eyes and stared out my windshield, looking for any sign of him and stopping when they rested on his tall lean figure waving at me from a window on the top floor of the house. 

“What the fuck, Sebastian, seriously,” grumbling as I parked the car by the curb. I sat with the engine still running, rubbing my temples in hopes to levitate the pounding headache I had due to stress and my tightly clenched jaw since leaving my house. Coming here was a really bad mistake and I was about to throw the car into drive and leave when a knock on my window startled me, causing me to jump. I looked up and saw Noah, smiling down at me with that same beautiful smile of his. It was contagious. I smiled back and took a deep breath as Noah opened the car door for me. I stood before him, taking in how much he’s changed in four years. “Your hair,” I breathed, surprised at how good short hair really did look good on him. “Yeah, look!” He lowered his head and rubbed the back of his neck. “I have a neck; who knew!” Noah’s eyes widened and he chuckled at his own joke, making me huff a small laugh, grinning.

“Holy shit, I can’t believe you really came. Come here, give me a hug,” he sang, holding his long arms out to me. I willingly fell into him and wrapped my arms around his waist, taking a deep breath once I laid my head on his chest. “I’ve fucking miss you, Y/N,” he confessed, resting his chin on the top of my head. “Life’s been crazy and so many things have changed, but you’ve never left my heart. I’m so sorry I never stayed in touch like I should have.” “No, don’t do that, Noah. It’s not your fault; it never was. It was never anyone's. Only mine. I made the choice to leave.” Noah pulled me back and looked at me, confused. “What do you mean it was your choice? Nick said he was the one who ended things.” I didn’t have time to respond when a familiar voice from the past came ringing out behind us, swallowing me up in a clenching grip.

My spine tingled, hell my whole body tingled as my heart began to race. My once calm  nerves were now making my hands shake and the tears I promised myself I wouldn’t show started to seep from my eyes as I clenched my teeth, trying to muffle my cry. “Noah, what are you doing? Who are you talking to?” Nicholas’s voice was like rain in a dry desert; the desert being my heart. It quenched every part, bringing every buried memory and feeling back to life again. “You didn’t tell him I was coming?” asking Noah softly. He looked from Nick to me, shaking his head. “Shit,” Noah cursed. “What?” I looked up and turned around, running straight into Nicholas’s chest. “Y/N?” He took my arms, holding me away from him. I couldn’t bring myself to look up at him, afraid that if I did I would shatter into a million pieces. “What the hell, Noah, why is Y/N here?” The tone in Nick’s voice made me think he was upset that I had shown up. I cursed myself for coming, for believing that enough time had passed between us. My breathing became erratic and I felt like I might pass out. “Y/N, hey are you good? You okay?” Slowly I shook my head. And then I broke. Like a dam backed up for centuries, the tears and all the pain I’d held in for years came rushing out, causing my knees to grow weak and making them buckle. Nick caught me just in time, slipping his arms underneath mine and pulling me into his chest. He smelled just as good as I remembered, but with more cologne and whatever it was drove my senses wild. I continued to cry and Nick continued to hold me, one arm tightly closed around me and the other caressing the back of my head. 

“Shhhh, love it’s alright. It’s okay.” Hearing my pet name fall from his lips and the sound of  his voice as soothing as before brought to me peace. “Noah, do you want to explain this?” I felt the deep rumble of Nick’s voice against my cheek as it laid against his chest. “No, not really. I think I’m just gonna go back inside. Bring her in when she’s ready, okay. I’ll explain then.” Just like that I found myself alone with the ghost of my past, only it wasn’t really a ghost at all. This time it was the real thing. 

“I don’t understand. What are you doing here, Y/N? How did you know we were here?” Nick didn’t let me go, but continued holding, making me feel the safest I’ve felt since the last time he held me. “I don’t either, Nick. I don’t know what I’m doing here.” I began to briefly explain everything that happened after Noah first reached out to me, never once looking at his face. If I did I would fall apart again.

“So you being here is all Noah's doing?” “Yeah, pretty much.” We were both silent as we stood there in the street holding each other. For a moment it felt like old times. “Hey.” Nick spoke softly, raising my head with a finger under my chin. I closed my eyes, refusing to look at him. “Do you hate me so much that you can’t even look at me?” “I don’t hate you Nick!” I shrieked, flinging my eyes open only to be met by his intensely heavy green orbs. “God, Nick,” I breathed, taking in his appearance, noticing all the little changes of maturity that graced his once younger face. “Four years looks incredible on you.” Nick’s eyes twinkled as they darted between mine. “I could say the same about you. You’re still just as beautiful as the last time I saw you.” His face instantly fell at the mention of that day. I quickly wiggled out of his grasp and took a step back, clearing my throat. Nick continued to gaze at me, but I could no longer keep eye contact. “I try not to think about that day,” I lied, crossing my arms. “Funny,” he said, coming closer to me. “That's all I can think about.” My eyes darted to his. “What?” “You don’t expect me to believe that, do you?” Nick scoffed. “I don’t care if you do or don’t. It doesn’t change that it’s the truth.”

My brows drew together, wondering how his confession could be true. “How come you didn’t stop me then? Why didn’t you come for me?” “Would it have changed your mind if I did?” He reached over and touched my face, dragging his calloused fingertips down my cheek. I briefly closed my eyes and took a deep breath, opening them as soon as I released it. “Y/N, your  mind was made up; you made your choice and I  wasn't it. What was I supposed to do?” Even then I could see how badly I’d hurt Nicholas. As soft and sweet as he was, he had somehow managed to harden himself to the cruelness of my choices. But that still didn’t change how the thought of him not fighting for me, for us, cut me like a thousand papercuts. “You could’ve at least tried Nick. My mind wasn’t in the best place then. I wasn’t capable of making the right choice, but I felt like I was forced to otherwise,”. I stopped, realizing Nick wasn’t following what I was trying to say.  “Otherwise what?” “You know what, never mind. Just forget it.” I dropped my arms to my sides and walked to my car, about to open the driver's door. Nick’s large hand came down on the corner of the door, baring it from opening. 

“I’ve never been very good at letting go, Y/N. I didn’t want to let you go. But the moment you came to me with that frightened, confused look in your eyes, I knew you were already gone. You’d already made your mind up about what was best for you and no matter what I said, it felt like you were looking for an excuse to leave. So, I let you.” Nick pressed his body against the back of mine, pinning me between him and the car. I wanted nothing more than to turn around, pull him into me, and kiss him like I was dying and he was the only thing keeping me alive. “I couldn’t imagine my life without you in it. You were my everything, Y/N; you promised to stay with me forever.” Tears were pouring down my cheeks and my shoulders shook as I wept. Nick laid his hands on them squeezing them slightly. “Everyday after you were in my head when you weren't supposed to be, haunting me, reminding me of everything I lost. And the worst part about all of it was I still loved you; I still fucking love you. I still fucking want you like nothing else and I hate myself for it. My life felt empty without you in it, but eventually I had to get used to it.”

I turned around, my lips almost meeting with Nick’s. I wanted him to kiss me in the worst way. I wanted him to grab me and ravage me like a starving animal. “I want to fucking kiss you so badly,” he confessed, as if reading my mind. He placed both hands on the car on either side of my head, leaning in until his lower body was pressed against me. There was no way out of this. I was cornered. “I wanna be inside you again, the only place where I felt love.” I groaned through tears and laid my head back against the car. Nicholas lowered his lips closer to my neck, running his nose along my skin. “I would’ve given anything to taste you again, Y/N, to feel your walls clench around my dick and the way your nails ran over my skin.” I could feel his hardness against my leg and I swallowed hard, trying to keep my composure. “But I couldn’t find you. You walked away and never looked back.” Nick backed up, tapping his fingers on the roof of the car. He stared at me. I saw all the different emotions running through him like the colors of the rainbow, confusing him in the worst way. “I’m so sorry Nick. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I was just trying to make it hurt less; for both of us.” “Yeah, well you did a pretty bang up job of it. You lied to me. It was so bad I began to wonder if you were lying to me all along since it was so easy for you to give up on us the way you did.”

His words stabbed me in the heart. “Look, I screwed up alright! I know I did.” I shoved Nick away, no longer able to deal with the hurt, the painful reminder of how I destroyed our love. “But I never once lied to you. I’ve done a lot of fucked up shit, Nick, but loving you was different. Loving you made me a better person. You made me a better person.” “Then why the fuck did you give up on us, Y/N! Why were you so quick to throw us away when the first storm hit?” “Because I was fucking scared, Nick! My dad was dying and my entire world was starting to fall apart. I thought that telling you we were over would’ve made walking away easier, but it didn’t. After I left I had hoped you would come for me, that you would fight for me and convince me that we were stronger than the storm, but you didn’t, Nick. You let me walk away and knowing that made me think you didn’t care as much as you said you did. So maybe you were the one lying.” Nick stood there wide-eyed and tense. He didn’t blink, allowing the tears to pool at the bottom of his eyes. “I had to finally come to accept the fact that you didn’t think we were worth fighting for which made these words hurt all the more,” raising my arm to show him the tattoo he marked me with all those years ago. Nick swallowed and finally blinked, letting the tears fall, but quickly brushed them away. He reached out and took my arm, running his thumb over the words. 

“However far away, I will always love you, however long I stay, I will always love you, Whatever words I say, I will always love you,” he read softly. “Yeah,” he hummed. “I guess we both lied then.” The ice in his tone was enough for me to know the truth. Our love was completely dead. Without looking at me again, Nick turned around and walked back towards the house. I could only stand there in shock, wondering what to do next. It was like I couldn’t breathe, the air around me suddenly too heavy for my lungs. “I didn’t mean to ruin your life Nick. I know I made a mistake and I own up to it, but so did you. You fucked it all up just as much as I did. When are you going to accept your part in letting us die? When are you going to admit you were wrong and take some of the blame off my shoulders?” Nick stopped and listened to what I was saying, but then as he continued walking towards the house my heart fell to the bottom of my stomach. I got in my car and left, stopping at the liquor store and buying the biggest bottle of rum they had.  

“Whatever words I say, I will always love. I will always love you.”

The next few days were hard. Feeling like I’d been injected with Novocain, a numbing feeling followed me everywhere I went and I felt comatose, never wanting to wake up and face reality again. The butterflies that had once fluttered and made me feel so in love had died, making the shattering of my heart breaking the loudest quiet ever.

I took a few days off from work, stayed home and did my best to get life together, but it didn’t go over so well at first. But after three straight days of screaming and crying, waking up still drunk, and passing out over the toilet, I managed to wake up sober, take a shower, and clean my apartment. I was on the road to recovery. 

I taped over the words on my arm, hiding the constant reminder of pain I no longer wanted to deal with. Instead of trying to face it anymore, I ran from it, burying it so deeply down inside me and forcing myself to feel indifferent about it. But those words were the last and only thing I had left of Nicholas and no matter how badly they hurt, they needed to stay. I deserved the punishment. 

Five days after my encounter with Nick, I sat down in my living room with my Chinese takeout and a handful of things to watch on Netflix. I chose quickly and snuggled into my blanket with great anticipation over the first bite of food. But before I could take that bite, the buzzer for the outside intercom rang, informing me that someone was looking for me. 

“Who the heck can that be,” mumbling to myself as I got up off the couch, adjusting  my sleepy shorts as I made my way over to the intercom. Completely irritated, I pressed the button. “Hello, can I help you?”... … … … “Hello?”.... … … … “Okay, look, if this is a joke,” “Y/N?” I gasped, throwing my hand over my mouth. “Nick?”.... I did my best to mask the surprised cry in my voice before pressing the button. “Nick, are you still there?”.... …. “Yeah,” he answered, his voice cracking. “Y/N, can I come up?” “Yeah, Yes! Absolutely, I’ll buzz you in.” I hit the button instantly, jumping over to the closest mirror to check my appearance. I looked fucking horrible, but I didn’t have any time to fix my face before there was a soft knock on the apartment door. I wasn’t prepared for this. I wasn’t ready to face Nick again. But I didn’t have a choice. Nervously,  I undid the locked bolt and opened the door, but when my eyes fell upon Nicholas, all of that nervousness faded.

“Holy shit you look beautiful,” Nick exclaimed, a different tone than days before.  The expression on his face was sincere, making my heart flutter, but I’d never felt more uncomfortable as I did standing there in my sleepy shorts, and a rough looking complexion. “You’re crazy,” admonishing him while resting my cheek on the side of the door. “Can I come in?” His green eyes twinkled at me  “Gosh, yeah, sorry,” I apologized, backing up to let him in. I caught the scent of his cologne as he walked by, and it hit my senses like a brick, making my heart beat even faster. “This is a really nice apartment. How long have you been here?” I closed the door, locking it behind me. “Um, about seven months, I think. I moved back about a year after my dad passed.” I crossed my arms over my chest, lowering my eyes away from Nick’s. “Fuck, Y/N, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know,” Nick admitted, sympathetically. “Don’t be,” I assured him, shaking my head a little. “How could you?” “I don’t know,” he shrugged, giving me a lopsided grin. “It’s fine Nick, really. He went peacefully. That’s all that matters.” “Still, I should’ve been there.” There was deep regret in his voice. “How did you find out where I live?” I asked, drawing my brows together, narrowing my eyes. “Oh, Noah said you told him. ”Did I? If I did I didn’t remember. Nick looked around the apartment, eyes wandering over everything, but quickly stopped on something familiar on the wall nearest my bedroom.

Carefully making his way over, he stood before some pictures, eyes fixed on the images before him. His mouth twitched and he gave a half-smile. “There are so many,” his voice quivered, showing off just how nervous he really was. His hands were shoved deep into his pockets with his arms locked tight against his sides. “Where did you find them all?” I stood beside him, staring at the wall of my “Annabelle Lee” picture collection. “Some I printed and made myself, others I found online,” answering him sweety. I bit my lip, too apprehensive to tell him about my favorite two. “Y/N, this is awesome. It reminds me of that night in,” turning his head to face me only to find me already staring at him. We were transfixed instantly, staring at each other with the same longing and hunger as that day in the bookstore. He moved a little closer to me, dragging his tongue over his bottom lip before taking it between his teeth.

I clenched my jaw, trying to suppress the sexual tension that was quickly rising inside me. My body knew exactly how to respond to what my eyes were seeing Nick do, as that all too familiar arousal flooded my core and sent all the tingles to my toes. I crinkle my nose, earning a dark chuckle from Nick. I knew then that he knew exactly what he was doing. “Those are my favorite,” I blurted out, trying to distract him from the tension building between us. His eyes quickly shifted elsewhere as he turned to look at where I was pointing, narrowing his eyes to get a better look. “Are those,” he asked, suddenly roused for a different reason, pointing to the frames. I nodded, breathing nervously. “I bought the book before I left. I thought that maybe if I I had it, it would feel like I had some of you with me, and I wanted as much of that feeling as I could get. I still want that feeling.” The last part came out mumbled, and I hoped Nick didn’t hear it as I played nervously with my fingers, too scared to look up at him. After a long silence, Nick cleared his throat. “I know you hated me, Y/N, and I don’t blame you. I had to keep leaving when you needed me to be there to support you, love you through all that was happening with your dad. But it was all out of my hands. I was being pulled in two different directions, and I didn’t know what to do or how to handle it, so I did the best thing I knew how to do; close up and shut down. It wasn’t right; I know that. It wasn’t fair to you.”

I started to cry, feeling dreadfully guilty, and dropped my head in my hands and quietly sobbed until my hands were completely wet. “I didn’t hate you, Nick. I don’t hate you. I love you so freaking much. But loving you was slowly killing me. I did what I had to do to survive and that was to say goodbye even though I didn’t want to,” my voice faded as I finally looked at him. His expression was grave, the past eating away at his mind no doubt. “I never wanted to walk away from you Nick. I never wanted to give us up. Every night and day I was forced to fight my battles without you, pretending I was strong when I was really falling apart. Trying to explain to you what was happening became difficult because what I was going through couldn’t be seen, only felt. All I wanted was your arms. All I wanted was to see you to know that everything was going to be okay. But I couldn’t have that. And then the fucking pandemic hit and, well.” I took a breath, in hopes to calm myself. It felt so good to get it all off my chest, but at the same time I knew I was hurting Nicholas by throwing too much at him.  It was evident on his face.

I took a risk and reached out for his hand, sighing with relief when he took it and entangled his fingers with mine. “I took the easy way out, Nick, I know that. We could have saved us if only I had fought harder. But you want to know the worst part about it all?” Our eyes locked together. Nick clenched down hard, trying his best to keep his emotions closed, but I could see it in his eyes that he was starting to break. “You never came after me, Nick. You never tried to stop me, to convince me I was making the wrong choice. And because you didn’t it was enough to convince me that I wasn’t worth fighting for. That’s what broke me.” 

Nick squeezed his eyes closed, bringing his fingers up to dry them, while still clenching the other ones around mine. It was a death grip that I was so grateful for. 

Nick kept my eyes as he moved in closer until he couldn't resist the madness building up around us anymore. He looked down at me, muttering “fuck it” under his breath while his eyes were are on my lips. He moved so quickly I couldn’t keep track of his actions as his hands closed around my waist, pulling me into him.  The feeling of his thick hardness hot against my aching sex had me screaming inside for him to have his way with me, to do to me whatever he wanted as long as he knew I wanted him forever. And then he kissed me and it was the best kiss ever in my whole life. The way he pressed his hand to my shoulder blade to arch me into him, the way it started slowly, just his mouth on mine and his tongue begging for entrance. We stayed that way for a long time until I looped my arms around his neck. He shifted and shoved me up against the wall, leaning into me and pushing my thighs open to make space for himself until we were flush against each other. Soft whimpers fell from my lips as I absorbed Nicholas like a sponge, wanting absolutely ever part of him. His hard grunts and deep growls of satisfaction over the attention he was receiving was empowering and told me he wanted what was happening just as much as I did.

My heart was beating like a drum against his chest at the feeling of his hand trailing up the skin of my thigh and under the cotton of my sleepy shorts. They gave him the perfect advantage to claim what had been waiting for him the past few years. I moaned, grabbing his wrist before he went all the way. “What?” he asked breathlessly, eyes full of lust. I blinked a few times, making sure this was real, and relaxed the grip on his wrist. “I want what’s mine,” he demanded, voice deep and raspy. He kissed me again, slipping his hand behind my neck and pulling me in to get deeper. Arching my back, I thrusted my sex into the bulge between his legs, feeling the cold wetness of my juices soaking my panties. “I want to feel my fingers between your lips before I sink them so deep into your perfect little cunt that has always belonged to me and hear the way you sigh and let my name spill from your mouth.” Nick’s fingers skimmed my pussy, causing me to gasp and grab the front of his shirt between my clenched fists. His soft perfectly “v” shaped lips trailed up and down my neck as his tattooed touch between my folds made my knees weak and almost give out. “Oh, Nick, please,” I whined, pushing in on his shoulders. He pulled back, his eyes blazed with a fierce hunger. “Please what, Y/N? What do you want, love?”

Placing my hand over his, the one nearest my opening, I kept perfect eye contact with him as I guided his hand to where I desperately needed it to be. “This,” he affirmed, slipping two fingers at a time inside me. I sucked in a deep breath at the feeling, brazenly grinding down on him. “Fuck, Nick!” I cried out as he slowly pushed and pulled in and out of me. “That’s it baby girl, grind on my fingers. I can feel you, uh fuck yeah,” Nick encouraged me, burying his face in my neck. Picking up the pace, he held me tightly up against the wall, breaking apart every barrier I’d put up since the day I said good-bye to him. “Like that? Is that it? Is that the spot, love,” Nick urgently asked the louder I moaned the closer he got to my g-spot. I quickly nodded, furrowing my brows and bit my bottom lip, clasping my hand over his to feel the way he was fucking me with his fingers. “I’m addicted to the way you’ve always gotten wet for me, baby girl, the way I fill you and make you cum for me.” he praised me, pushing in harder and making me moan again. “Fucking hell, Nick,” I cried throwing my head back against the wall. “I want your cum on my fingers, love. I want it to drip down my hand.”

My cries grew louder the closer Nick brought me to my climax. I was a weakened mess for him. “Nick,” “Yeah, baby?” “I’m sorry I walked away. I’m sorry I said goodbye.” Tears seeped from my eyes. Nick slowed his pace inside me to wipe them away. “However far away, I will always love you, however long I stay, I will always love you, whatever words I say, I will always love you,” “I will always love you,” I echoed. He caressed my face and kissed me. “Nick, I need you inside me,” I whispered in his ear, feeling the deep rumble of his approval against my chest. Before I realized it, Nick had me in his arms, carrying me into my room and laying me on the bed. He undid the button on his jeans and unzipped, yanking them off and revealing his hardened cock, dripping with the silkiness of his pre-cum. I groaned in want as he slipped my shorts and panties off. Without a word, Nick spread my legs and positioned himself overtop me, and lined himself with my entrance. He rubbed his tip through the wetness of my folds, and slipped inside me, spreading me open for him. Pushing in and out sweetly but with the kind of aggression that always made me cry his name, I dug my nails into his tanned flesh, gripping his shoulders, holding him close. “Oh god, fucking, Y/N,” Nick groaned, instantly pounding into me at a brutal pace. “You’re still so fucking tight, love.” “There’s been nobody since you.”

He pushed himself up off my chest, looking down into my eyes for clarity. “What? Are you being serious?” I nodded slowly. “I didn’t want to forget your touch, the color in the feeling you always gave me. I wanted to hold on to it forever.” Nick groaned, lowering his forehead to mine. “And it’s okay if you didn’t do the same. I understand,” clarifying that I wasn’t angry. He began to move unhurried, taking his time to stretch open my inner walls and make as much room for him inside as he could. I sighed, moaning loudly at the feeling of having him inside me again. “I don’t fucking deserve you, Y/N,” Nick confessed, thrusting hard into me and grunting loudly. “Yes you do. We deserve each other. You’re the Poe to my Annebelle.” He gave me a wide smile before grabbing my leg and holding it against him, fucking into me in a new position that hit the very spot I’d been craving him to hit. “Right there Nick! Fuck! Don’t stop, baby!” “That’s it, right there? You’re gonna make me fucking cum if you keep screaming like that.” I made no attempt to mask my cries that quickly turned into slight shrills. “Fuck, love, keep crying for me baby girl, I’m almost there.” “Nick, I’m cum….,” I cried as my orgasim hit me like a tidal wave, exploding inside me and making me see stars. Nick shoved my shirt up to my throat before pulling out of me and spilling his seed all over my belly and between my breasts.

“Oh, holy shit,” Nick growled, milking himself until he knew he was empty, before rolling over onto his back. Finding my hand with his and entangling our fingers like he used to do, we laid there for a while, enjoying the comfortable silence. Eventually, Nick cleaned me up, wiping off his mess before scooping me up and tucking me in under the blankets. “You’re staying aren’t you,” I asked sleepily, eyes already closed. I felt the bed dip and Nick's warm body slid into mine. “I’m already here,” he whispered, taking me into his arms. “And I promise I won’t leave. Ever,” kissing my hair. “Me too, Nick. I will always love you.” 

[mysteriouseggsbenedict]

oh goodness golly me there was only one bed

this lacks much context but! enjoy! prompted by gert <3

“Okay,” Milligan said. “We are getting you to bed.”

It was a credit to how tired Nicholas was that he didn’t argue. He only followed Milligan towards the elevator, hands fluttering nervously and tiredly, scanning their surroundings for well-dressed men. Milligan noticed.

“They will be decommissioned for at least seventeen hours,” Milligan assured him. 

“Medically, you cannot be precisely sure,” Nicholas said. 

“I am sure.”

Nicholas was too busy yawning to provide a rebuttal. The elevator dinged, they stepped outside, and located their room. Milligan unlocked it without ado. It took Nicholas a second to process why he looked confused.

“Nicholas,” he said. Nicholas blinked. “Why did you book a room with one bed?”

Nicholas reddened. “Uh— I didn’t…I don’t know?” It was the best he could offer. 

“I’m not angry,” Milligan soothed. “Only— um, curious.”

Nicholas frowned. “Was tired…just asked them for a room. Didn’t give a number of beds…”

“And, seeing only one person, they must have given you a single room,” Milligan said, putting the pieces together. 

“You should have come with me,” Nicholas said.

“I was occupied siphoning gasoline from a car in the parking lot,” Milligan reminded him. “It’s alright. You wait here. I’ll ask if they can switch us.”

Nicholas whined. Actually whined, an exhausted keen of distress, a sound he’d never allow himself to make if not half-delirious. He looked at Milligan with large, drooping eyelids that twitched as they tried to close against the room’s overhead lighting. 

“You’re tired too,” he said, as if this affected him as well. Milligan had to nod. It was true. He may not be as loopy as Nicholas, but the day’s events were weighing on him heavily, his body aching and asking rather insistently for him to lie down. He looked at Nicholas curled up on the bed, fully clothed, not even beneath the covers, and felt something tug at his heart. He didn’t want to go all the way back downstairs. He wanted to rest. He wanted to rest with Nicholas.

“Okay,” he said. Neither of them had verbalized the agreement. But Milligan knew, looking at Nicholas, that this is what he wanted, and it was what Milligan wanted too. With a stretch that cracked something in his back, he divested himself of most of his clothing. In boxers and a t-shirt he settled himself beside Nicholas. 

“Let’s get you a bit more comfortable,” he said, removing Nicholas’s jacket and waistcoat with careful, if shaky, fingers. 

“Is this weird?” Nicholas asked. Milligan was startled into a laugh. He expected him to already be asleep, considering he’d nearly dozed off while standing only a few minutes ago. 

“Not weird,” Milligan said. Nicholas hummed in response. Then, he snuggled close to Milligan, pressing his face to his chest and listening to his heartbeat. He wrapped an arm around his stomach as if he were hugging a pillow. Milligan smiled. He was in the perfect position to press a kiss to the top of his curly head. 

Nicholas gave a deep, content sigh, then dropped off to sleep. Milligan smiled. Comforted by the weight of Nicholas beside him, he followed soon after. 

[zafirosreverie]

Must be the eyes (Teacher!Agatha x Fem!Student!Reader) part 5

(Part 1) (Part 2) (part 3) (part 4)

a/n: I’m sorry if this is a little rushed, i did what i could with my laptop freezing at all times.

- - - - - - - - - - - - 

You jumped when your phone beeped with a message. You quickly grabbed it from the bed, where you had carelessly thrown it. It was from Nick.

"Meet me in the lobby”

You frowned slightly. What could he want at this hour? Probably tease you a little more. You rolled your eyes fondly.

During the whole tour, he hadn’t been able to tease you as usual. From the moment the two of you caught up with the group, your teacher's hand was firmly positioned on your lower back and when you entered the library, she was never too far away, so any joke Nick might have made would have reached her ears. And during dinner, the teachers' table had been right behind yours, conveniently.

"I'll be there in 5" you answered quickly, before putting the phone in the pocket of your shorts and smoothing your shirt again. You tied your hair in a messy bun and grabbed your purse. You didn't want to pay attention to the way your pulse was racing, or the voice in your head telling you that you were going on a date.

Because no, you were definitely not going on a date!

"Oh, are you ready?" asked a voice from the bathroom door.

For a moment you had forgotten about the other person in the room (well, not about her, but that she was there at the time). You turned to see your teacher leaning against the doorframe, in dark pants and a three-quarter-sleeve blouse. She looked so casual, so relaxed. It was a beautiful sight.

"Umm y-yeah" you stuttered "I'll wait for you downstairs. I'm going to the lobby with Nick" you explained

"Jadu?" Agatha frowned, quickly feeling a twinge of jealousy "Mister Jadu should already be in his room" she said.

"W-well, I'm sure he'll be soon, he just wanted to tell me something. Could be important" you said nervously.

It was strange how the woman could change her attitude so quickly. A few seconds ago she had been so relaxed, as if the two of you had been living together for a long time (you blushed at the thought. You did not live together!) And now, she was the living image of a beast about to attack.

"Fine" she said after looking at you for a few more moments "I'll catch up to you there"

You nodded quickly and left the room in a hurry. As much as you wanted to, now you couldn't turn a blind eye, you knew Nick was right. Harkness was acting weird.

____________

Agatha sighed when the door closed behind you. She mentally cursed herself for scaring you like this. She shouldn't be jealous of you, she shouldn't want to control what's going on around you, and she shouldn't want to be by your side for as long as possible.

Shouldn’t. It was a word that she had been repeating many times in the last three days.

"Maybe, I shouldn't have done all of this" she murmured.

The original plan was simple: take you to Salem, see you happy, go back, keep seeing you from afar through the hallways of the school, the end. But you had managed to complicate everything from the moment you were late, making her panic.

Then you had fallen asleep on her, making her feel nervous, you had managed to be sacrificed as an offering for her, sharing a room and making her doubt her own self-control, then you had gotten into her dreams, making her do things that she really didn't want to think about right now (there was no time for another trip to the bathroom, thank you very much) and now you were simply torturing her, rubbing in her face everything you could do with that little friend of yours that you couldn't do with her, making her feel terribly jealous of something that didn't even belong to her.

And still, she couldn't help but want to be close to you. She wasn't blind, she knew exactly how you felt about her, and even though she was still struggling with morality and shit, she also wanted to see where all of this took you both.

"Well, nowhere if I don't hurry up" she murmured, taking her purse and leaving the room.

___________

"Sooooo" Nick smiled at you, making you roll your eyes for the fifth time in the last five minutes.

"It’s not a date" you said for the third time "She will only take me to the antique store because it isn’t on the itinerary"

"How strange" he said sarcastically "I don't remember hearing her invitation ... Oh wait! She didn't invite us! She will only take her favorite student, with whom she shares a room, and from whom she hasn’t taken her eyes off, to a night walk through the city, so that you can visit a store that you wanted so much to go to. Yes, totally not a date" he rolled his eyes

"Well, I can ask her to let you come with us if you want" you said, blushing

"No, no" he laughed "I'm not going to piss off the kraken"

"Nick"

"I'm serious. I mean, I don't get along with her as well as you do, princess, but I want to think that I'm not on her list of students to murder. And something tells me that being a third wheel in her, 'not a date', would make me top that list" he laughed "so no, thanks, but no thanks princess"

"You are exaggerating, you know?" you laughed

"Yes yes, you call it exaggeration, I call it knowing how to choose my battles. And believe me, we all know that making Harkness angry is a losing battle and a suicidal desire"

"You make her sound like a serial killer" you rolled your eyes

"You never know" he shrugged "talking about the queen of Rome, here she comes" he told you in a low voice, subtly pointing to someone behind you.

You turned to see the brunette walking towards you with a smile that seemed a bit forced. You couldn't help but notice the sway of her hips.

"Well, I better go" Nick whispered "don't forget to bring me something" he winked at you.

She saw him rush past the older woman, giving her a little goodnight, which she only answered with a slight nod of the head. 

You saw your best friend disappear into the elevator, before paying attention to the woman in front of you.

"Everything alright?" she asked

"Y-yes Miss Harkness" you said

"So, was it important?" she pressed

"What?" you frowned confused

"The matter why you had to meet him here" she said she "didn't you say it might be important?"

You blinked a little at that. You hadn't thought that she really cared about what you said. It was a pleasant surprise, truth be told, it made you feel special and warmed your cheeks.

"Well he just wanted to make sure i bought him something" you lied.

The woman didn’t seem convinced, but she didn't say anything more on the subject. Smiling, she offered you her arm.

"Then we better go" she said she "we must find something for Mister Jadu, right?"

You giggled at that before nodding and, against your better judgment, you entwined your arm through hers.

Agatha smiled at this, unable to help but feel butterflies in her stomach, a quite refreshing and welcome feeling after the hot wave of jealousy that had washed over her when she stepped off the elevator and saw you so close to Nicholas.

______________

You tried to ignore the blush that was spreading across your face and neck when you walked into the store. You had thought that maybe you would take a taxi or something, but the brunette had told you that the store was not far away, so there was no point in taking a taxi when you were perfectly capable of walking there.

What she hadn't told you was that she wasn't going to let go of you. Sure, you linked your arm with hers, but you thought she would let you go when you got into a taxi. You didn't expect to find yourself walking to an antique store, arms intertwined with your crush, at night.

"How romantic" you thought sarcastically. Well, you could at least tell Nick that it was definitely not a date.

Your train of thought, however, stopped the moment you took a look at the shelves. There were old books, antique dolls, lamps, clocks, paintings, chairs, statues, among other things. You felt like a little girl in a toy store.

Agatha smiled at your look of astonishment. Your lips were slightly parted, you weren’t blinking and your eyes had a special shine that the brunette had never seen. Almost like a girl looking at the presents under the tree on Christmas day.

You looked so cute that she didn't care that you let go of her arm to get deeper and deeper into the place (although she immediately missed your warmth). She followed you carefully, not wanting to miss out on any of your reactions to the artifacts in front of you.

"I had one of those when I was little" you said suddenly, pointing to a beautiful porcelain doll.

Agatha looked at it for a moment. It had white skin, with black curlers tied in a half ponytail and a large purple bow. The dress, although worn and a bit dirty, still retained a bit of its purple color and the elegance of its original design.

But it was her face that had caught your attention the most. She had flushed cheeks, red lips (albeit a bit faded), and long eyelashes. And her eyes...her eyes were two big beautiful blue orbs.

"She looks like you" you said, smiling at the woman next to you

Agatha was a bit surprised and felt a rush of nerves when you stepped closer to her so she could see the doll better. It was true, it looked a bit like her.

"I guess so" she smiled at you

"I like her" you whispered.

The woman gasped silently, looking at you intently. You weren't looking at her, but at the doll in your hands, but something inside her, maybe a selfish part of her, told her that you were talking about her. And for the sake of her heart, she would hold on to that belief, regardless of your next words:

"T-the doll" you clarified quickly, cursing you for being so clumsy "I like the doll" you said, smiling nervously at her.

"Why?" she asked "Most people find them creepy”

“I don’t know” you shrugged “Must be the eyes” you smiled.

Agatha smiled back at you, but she didn't say anything. Suddenly feeling very exposed under her gaze, you set the doll back in place, before turning awkwardly to continue staring at the other shelves.

"Aren't you going to buy her?" the brunette asked, making you look at her again

"...no" you said "She’s beautiful, but too expensive for me. I prefer to save a little for other things that we can find in the following tours. It wouldn’t be smart of me to spend all my money on the third day, right?" you joked lightly.

Agatha however, noticed the look you gave the doll before turning around. You wanted it, of that she was sure.

______________

"My grandmother had one of those" you laughed

"Well, your grandmother had good taste then" replied the brunette, holding the locket in front of you.

"I suppose there is a certain beauty in it" you admitted, taking it carefully, smiling when the woman winked at you.

"Old is beautiful, Y/N" she said

"Much" you smiled and winked at her. You both knew that you weren't exactly talking about the necklace in your hands.

In the hour and a half that you had been there, something had changed between the two of you. It had started with something subtle, probably since the moment you said you liked the doll that reminded you of your teacher, but then it was an innocent comment about how beautiful a brooch looked in her, a hand on your back encouraging you to try on a necklace, a warm breath on your neck as she approached you from behind to see books over your shoulder. And without realizing it, you had been exchanging somewhat flirtatious comments with the older woman.

Nothing serious, you told yourself, but enough to feel like your relationship had changed. As if you had become closer.

"Well, I think I have everything" you said, separating a little from her

"Are you sure?" she told you "What about the gift for Mr. Jadu?"

"Here" you smiled, showing her the quartz necklace that you had chosen for your best friend.

"Excellent" she said to you "Why don't you pay and wait for me outside?

You shrugged and watched her get lost between the shelves. You paid for your things and left the store, shaking a little. It wasn't cold, but you needed a bubbly presence by your side.

__________

The next morning, there was no sign of the older woman. You frowned at that, but you guessed that she had simply gotten up before you, she was probably already in the dining room or waking up the rest of your classmates for breakfast.

You took a moment to remember the night before and how special it had made you feel. Too bad the spell had been broken as soon as you left the store.

You had asked her what was in the box she came out with, but she hadn't answered. In fact, she hadn't spoken to you the entire way back to the hotel. It was weird, but you hadn't minded because she had re-entwined her arm with yours anyway, so you were sure she wasn't upset with you.

______________

"So how was the no date?" Nick asked, immediately after sitting down across from you

"Great, they had very interesting things" you said

"Oh come on Y/N, give me the juicy details"

"There are no 'juicy details' Nick" you rolled your eyes "as you said yourself, it was not a date. We just went to an antique store and voila"

"Liar" he said "there had to be something! She took you by the hand? She pushed you against a shelf and kissed you?"

"Nick!" you hit him on the head

"Ouch" he said "Hey, don't be so aggressive"

"Don't be such an idiot" you said "Nothing happened. Period"

"Okay" he sighed in defeat "did you at least bring me something?"

"Yes, but I don't think you deserve it" you said

"Oh, come on!" he groaned "You don't give me juicy details and you’re also going to take my gift from me? Dark magic is corrupting you, Y/L/N"

You laughed at that, almost spitting out the juice you were drinking.

"You are an idiot" you said

"But?" he smiled at you and raised an eyebrow

You rolled your eyes "But, you are MY idiot" you said. You took the quartz necklace out of your pocket and threw it at him "Here, cry baby"

"Woah" he said, catching it in midair "Awesome, a rose quartz! Thank you princess"

"Yes, yes, you're welcome" you said "now, be a good slave and bring me more fruit, will you?"

"Right away, my lady" he winked at you and stood up.

You were so busy laughing at him, you didn't notice the brunette behind you getting up and leaving the dining room quickly.

______________

Agatha felt her hands shaking as she placed the package on your bed. She wasn't sure if she should, maybe she was crossing a line, maybe she had misinterpreted the signals. But last night she had seen a side of you that she didn’t know.

In that store, you had stopped being the tender and shy student who was always nervous for the presence of her teacher, and you were transformed into a playful and flirtatious creature that had made her legs tremble.

She hadn't expected you to flirt back, but she loved it and now she wanted more.

"But this" she whispered, looking at the gift on your bed "Will it be too much?"

She was breaking the agreement that she had made with herself. It was not night, and only the nights belonged to her. Leaving you a gift in broad daylight was against the rules.

Fortunately, Agatha Harkness was a woman who made her own rules.

_________________

You opened the door to your room quickly, counting in your mind the seconds it took. You were only back for a pair of sunglasses and your wallet. You were about to leave again when you noticed the box on your bed.

"What is this?" you murmured, moving closer to it.

How did you not notice a box in the middle of your bed as soon as you entered? You didn’t know.

You took the card that was on top of the box, blushing immediately when you recognized the fine handwriting.

"You keep surprising me with your ability to love broken creatures, Miss Y/L/N, but I suppose you're right. It must be the eyes -A.H."

You opened the box and couldn't help but smile as a familiar warmth ran through you and butterflies fluttered in your stomach.

A pair of glass blue eyes stared at you as you hugged the doll and you wished you could hug the woman who looked like her too.

- - - - - - - - - - - - 

Tags: @midnight-lestrange @everythingmarvelsherlockspn @amethyst-bitch @juliejules-089 @powerfulmagicalgirl @novohyde @annie-mit-ie @shinkomiii @agentbrownierso @swanqueensupercorp @usernames-are-difficult @philippaharkness @rainbow-hedgehog @parkerprolly @amelia02 @misarwen25 @booklovinbi @bloodyfool @marvelseverything @superpearlnerd @rooskaya-yelena @danvers97 @notsosecretlyalesbian​ @thoroughly--confused​ @tomy5girls​

[randominagines]

Hey can you do a nick clark smut with this prompt(Do it again and don't stop this time)

thanks for the request, I love this!

Pairing: Nick Clark fem!reader

Setting: S02, E03

Warning: smut, language, oral sex

P.s. if you find any mistake please correct me, English is not my mother tongue and I want to improve. Reblog, if you can, it helps a lot, thank you💕

P.p.s. gifs belong to the creators.

The Confession

Arguing with Nick Clark was kinda stressing for y/n: he knew exactly how to make her laugh or distract her. She tried to stay mad at him, but she simply couldn't. Anyway, that time, she wanted to be firm and make him understand that he couldn't always act so reckless. Her heart almost stopped when she saw him entirely covered in blood, walking among the zombies as if he was one of them. She couldn't even describe the relief she perceived as soon as Nick glanced at her to make her understand that he was just fine. As soon as they got back in the Abigail, she decided that she didn't want to see him for the rest of her day: he had scared the shit out of her.

She got out of the shower and squeezed her hair, then she grabbed a towel to dry herself. She quickly put a pair of underwear and a long t-shirt that happened to be Nick's. "Splendid." She mumbled to herself while realising that she had put it on. Her best friend used to share his clothes with her, it had always been like that and they had been best friends for a lifetime. She was about to tidy up her cabin when she heard knocking. She looked at the door. "Alicia?" She asked, Alicia used to go to y/n quite often, they were like sisters. "Not exactly." Nick's voice made her frown. She rolled her eyes and opened the door. Nick was standing there, all cleaned up with his long hair half wet and his usual joyful smirk on his face, while wearing a black shirt that suited him so well. She sighed. "What do you want, Clark? She brusquely asked. He laughed and raised his arms. "Whoa, someone is nervous today. Can I come in, y/l/n?" He asked while smiling at her. She chewed the internal part of her cheek but nodded and moved aside to let him in. He looked around and sat on her bed. "I love the fact that the world is totally changed, but the fact that you're messy stays exactly the same." He fooled her around while staring at her. She normally would have smiled, but she didn't. "I was about to tidy up." She simply said and started brushing her hair, they were almost dry. Nick raised an eyebrow. "Okay, spit it out, why are you mad at me?" He asked.

She turned and looked at him, her eyes scanning his. "You're so smart, Nicholas Clark, yet so slow sometimes." She said and he stood up, his long legs moving to walk toward her. She crossed her arms over her chest. "What happened? I'm behaving..?" He said, referring to the fact that he was staying out of meds. She shook her head. "Are you? An hour ago you were walking between zombies entirely covered in blood, making me believe for a second that you were lost, turned into one of them and almost causing me an heart attack. Is this behaving?" She asked, her eyes getting watery. He took a step back and frowned. "Y/n, I didn't think that..." She raised her hand. "You never think, Nick, you never think that you are literally the most important person of my life, that losing you would mean losing my heart for me. Yet here you are, being reckless, irresponsible, putting your life at risk. When I saw you there... I thought you were gone." She finally said, a tear running down her cheek. He looked at her, his eyes filled with sadness. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you worried. I'm just like this, you know, but I would never hurt you by purpose. Why are you so upset?" He asked, his hand reaching her cheek to wipe away her tears. She took a deep breath. "Because I'm in love with you, you irresponsible asshole!" She finally snapped, her eyes stuck into his. His hand stopped at mid air, his eyes widened and he stumbled back as if she had just punched him. He had been in love with her since forever, he couldn't even process those words.

She exhaled and ran her hands through her hair. "I know you don't feel the same, I know I just made this whole situation complicated, but I need to tell you because..." She couldn't finish her sentence because he had crushed his lips against hers. She initially widened her eyes in surprise, then she immediately closed them and kissed him back, her arms crossing over his shoulders. He grabbed her by her waist to pull her closer, their bodies attached while he lifted her. She crossed her legs around his waist and let him gently lay her down on her bed, his body moving to be on the top of hers. They didn't stop kissing while he gently caressed her legs, his fingers travelling toward her stomach and hips. He smiled on her lips. "For as much as I love the fact that you're wearing my t-shirt," he whispered on her lips, his hands lifting her shirt. "I want to see it on this floor now." He concluded and took it off her.

She was wearing only her underwear, her whole body exposed. He stared at her, his eyes worshipping her every curve and his smirk showing how much he was enjoying the sight of her. She felt incredibly loved. She put a hand behind his head and pulled him toward her to kiss him again. He grinned. "You're fucking gorgeous, y/n." He whispered before kissing her. Her hands started to unbotton his shirt, and he laughed on her lips, noticing how impatient she was. He took the shirt off and she caressed his chest, his white skin smooth under her fingers. He quickly took off his trousers as well, their bodies now both exposed. They had seen eachother almost naked many times: they grew up together, went to sea holidays together for years, saw the other getting dressed and changing when they were kids but that was totally a first time for the both of them. That was different, that was intimate, that was passionate. She started at him and caressed his cheek. "Nick, you are..." She was about to say, but he laughed. "Skinny and pale." He said, his insecurities popping out. She shook her head. "Beautiful, you're beautiful, Nicholas Clark." She concluded and he smiled, his lips on her neck.

She tilted her head back to let him kiss her, he left small bites under her jaw while his hands caressed her body. He licked her nipple and his finger squeezed the other while she moaned, her body shaking. He bit her nipple and smirked when she gasped, his hands removing her underwear. His lips travelled down her body, on her stomach, hips, inner thigh and he gently opened her legs. His lips were now on her clit, his tongue twirling on it while his fingers caressed her legs. She grabbed his long hair and pulled them when he sucked her clit, her eyes rolling because of the pleasure. "Nick..." She whispered and he smiled, he loved hearing his name coming from her lips. He slowly caressed her entrance with his finger, her body immediately responded: she arched her back and her legs shook. He slowly penetrated her with his finger while licking her clit, his tongue fast but his touch delicate. She closed her eyes and caressed his hair, her breath irregular. He suddenly rotated his finger while his tongue quickly pressed on her clit. She gasped and widened her eyes, her head lowered to look at him. "Shit, that felt heavenly. Do it again and don't stop this time," she said, she was out of breath. He smiled without stopping, his eyes staring at her to enjoy the sight of her pleasure. She closed her eyes and pulled her hair. "Please..." She whispered, her whole body shaking. He repeated his movements but faster, his fingers hitting exactly the spot she was hoping he'd touched. She arched her back, her orgasm crossing her like a wave. He grabbed her leg with his free hand, his tongue circling her clit. She moaned his name, her eyes closed while she desperately tried not to be too loud: the walls were thin on the Abigail. She rolled her eyes and he suddenly moved on the top of her, his fingers not letting her go.

He crushed his lips on hers while adding another finger inside of her, his movement now faster. She tasted herself on his tongue and grabbed his shoulders while he kept moving his fingers inside of her. She looked at him and he felt his heart skip a beat: she was absolutely vulnerable, totally lost in her pleasure, completely his. He couldn't believe how beautiful she was. She scratched his back, her nails embedded in his skin. "Nick, please..." She moaned on his lips, he smiled. "It's okay, come again, babe." He invited her and she let herself go once again. Another orgasm invaded her, her body attached to his and her fingers leaving scratches on his back. He bit her nipple, his eyes not leaving hers not even for a second. She exhaled as soon as the orgasm finished, her body immediately relaxing. He gradually stopped penetrating her and removed his fingers, his lips covering her cheeks, neck, lips and chest with small, tender kisses. She caressed his head while he smiled. "I love you too, y/n, since we where kids." He whispered, his arms wrapping her. She opened her mouth. "Really?" She asked, she never noticed anything at all. He nodded. "I've been trying to hide for so long that I had lost any hope that you could feel the same." He admitted and looked down, his fingers drawing figures on her chest and stomach. She caressed his cheek. "Well, I feel the same." She said and he smiled while kissing her again. She parted her lips to let his tongue in, her hands playing with the waistband of his boxer. He grinned. "Y/n..." He whispered on her lips, his eyes getting darker.

She smirked. "My turn." She said and he laughed. Before she could actually do something, she heard knocks at her door. They both jumped out of their skin. "Yes?" She asked while instinctively covering her breast. "Y/n, it's almost lunch time, have you seen Nick?" Alicia asked. They both immediately stood up: Nick quickly put his trousers and shirt on and y/n put her t-shirt without even wearing her underwear. "Yes, he's here. Come in." She said and Alicia slowly opened the door. She looked around and shook her head, that room was a mess. "What are you doing here? Are you two not hungry?" She asked while stepping on a shoe, she almost fell. "Uhm, Nick was helping me tidying up." Y/n lied and Nick nodded. "Yes, this room is unbelievable." He added while picking up a rubber band from the floor. Alicia nodded. "I agreed but now it's time to eat. If we're not sat around the table mom won't allow us to start so come because I'm starving." She said and they both nodded. "Okay, give us a second to pick up these last things." She looked around. Alicia nodded and walked toward the door. "Fine, and one last thing," she turned to face them. "Next time, not so loud, y/n." She joked. Y/n widened her eyes and covered her face in shame while Nick bursted into laugh.

Alicia smiled and winked at her best friend while leaving the room. "Oh my God, that's..." She tried to say but Nick looked at her. "Funny." He said and she shook her head. "Embarrassing! That's utterly embarrassing." She said and violently blushed. He grabbed her waist and gave her a quick kiss. "Nah, it's Alicia, it's okay." He said and picked up her underwear. He gave it to her and she took it, her cheeks still red. "We have been caught and I haven't even been able to..." She complained while putting the underwear on and grabbing a pair of shorts. He caressed her back and looked at her. "This isn't finished, y/n." He whispered, his voice low. She smiled on his lips. "Fine, but next time I'll be the one making you say my name." She provoked him and bit his lower lip. He licked his lip. "I can't wait, babe."

[ineloqueent]

lessons in imaginary gravity

Lucy Boynton x Fem!Reader

synopsis: you and Lucy teach at the same primary school, this you know. but little do you know, you are to her precisely what she is to you.

warnings: none

word count: 2.4k

see the moodboard here!

⭒

It was a cliche, but there was really no other way of putting it: Lucy Boynton had a gravity about her.

There was an inevitable pull toward her, and everyone seemed to feel it, like tides of the Earth drawn by the moon in celestial obligation. Everywhere she went, there was a smile to her, a smile which she always returned, and a soft hello from her, and she did not walk so much as floated, as though the ground swayed in her favour, and the sun followed her light, not the other way around.

Her voice carried— not because she spoke loudly, but because the rest of the world seemed simply to fall silent at the parting of her lips. There was romance in her eyes, for she was a romantic soul, and for each day that went by, you fell a little more in love with her.

You had always wondered, of course, whether she was attracted to girls, or in the very least to you, but admittedly, you were a little afraid to find out, should the answer be in the negative.

And so you spent your days dreaming away, pining for a woman you were sure had never looked at you twice.

⭒

Lucy was beginning to think she gazed at the teacher down the hall too often, and wondered if she had noticed.

A part of her hoped that she was, indeed, not bothered by it, because she was so very beautiful, and Lucy thought it an awful shame to have to stop admiring her from afar. Unless of course it meant progressing to admiring her from a closer vantage. Yes, that would be preferable. Though it would probably never happen.

Still, Lucy could dream. The days were long, and though it was practically part of the job description as a primary school teacher, being polite and cheerful all the time was rather draining. The teacher down the hall always brightened Lucy’s day.

She saw her sometimes on her way to the teacher’s room, but their lunch breaks did not intersect, so there was never a chance to accidentally sit down at Y/N’s usual table.

And she could never bring herself to speak to the other teacher on purpose. Lucy was afraid that she would see right through her, and be disgusted by Lucy’s affection. Thus, Lucy kept her distance.

But she still allowed herself to admire from afar.

⭒

Winter had swept the country in a flurry of cold, and the temperature had dropped twenty degrees from one day to the next.

So when Lucy arrived at the school wearing a fitted, tweed peacoat, you blushed at the thought of how beautiful she looked, and blamed it on the cold.

She caught your gaze as you both crossed the parking lot, walking toward the front of the school. It was early, still dark, and you were sure that the two of you were the only ones to be here at this hour.

She smiled softly, then ducked beneath her curtain of wavy hair.

“It’s gotten cold,” she said, in her lovely, gentle voice, and you laughed to dispel the bundle of nerves in your abdomen.

“Almost overnight,” you added.

She crossed to your side of the road, slowing her pace so as to walk with you.

“Definitely.” She shivered. “But it’s good weather for hot chocolate.”

Your heart fluttered and you blurted. “I love hot chocolate.”

Her eyes flicked to yours, as she bit her lip. Then the gesture grew to a smile, her eyes twinkling, and you felt overwhelmed by a sudden urge to wrap her in your arms and kiss that beautiful smile, till she giggled and your frozen fingers turned warm from being intertwined with hers.

“Me too,” Lucy said.

You exhaled in relief that she had not noticed your awkwardness.

“Shame we don’t have lunch at the same time,” she continued. “We could have a little hot chocolate party.”

“Oh, absolutely!” you replied, perhaps a little too enthusiastically.

Then you noticed that you’d reached the front entrance, where you would go to one end of the hall, and Lucy to the other.

You stopped walking, reluctant to let your conversation end here.

Lucy, you thought, was the same; she paused, pulling off her beret and tousling her hair with light fingertips.

“Well,” she drew a deep breath, “this is me. That way, I mean.” She pointed down the hallway, before her arms fell to her side and her eyes to the ground.

“It was nice to—”

“— talk to you— oh.”

It would seem that the both of you had spoken the same sentiment.

“Um,” you began, but faltered for words. “I’ll see you around?”

“Yes. Yes, of course. Have a nice day, lovely.” She raised her hand in a little wave, before she turned and headed down the hallway. You stared after her, clutching your papers to your chest and feeling like you’d stepped back in time and become a shy schoolgirl once more.

You turned and walked slowly down the hall to your own classroom, in the opposite direction.

You were always crossing paths with Lucy Boynton.

But you were always traveling in the opposite direction.

⭒

It had begun to snow outside, and the children had become restless. But they’d already been outside twice today, so Lucy was forced to occupy them with something else, no matter how much they begged to play in the snow.

“Please, Miss. It’s still snowing!”

“It’s been snowing for hours, Nicholas,” said Lucy patiently. “I promise you it’ll still be snowing when you go home.”

There came a chorus of dismay from the children, but Lucy quieted them with the lift of a hand.

“We’ve got to do our reading time now,” she told them. “But it’s a good chapter today, I promise you.” They were reading Enid Blyton’s The Magic Faraway Tree, one of Lucy’s childhood favourites, and having read it for her students each year, she now knew it almost off by heart. “I’ll read you the first two pages, and then you can have a try on your own, yes?”

There were several nods and a few yeses, so Lucy leaned against her desk at the front of the room, and opened the novel to where she’d left the bookmark.

“Next day,” Lucy began, “all the four children woke up feeling excited.  It was so lovely when a really nice Land was at the top of the Faraway Tree. They had been to—”

A flash of colour had caught Lucy’s eye. Miss L/N had just walked past the classroom.

“Miss Boynton?” one of the girls was saying.

Lucy blinked.

“You stopped reading.”

“Oh,” said Lucy. “I’m terribly sorry. I must have gotten distracted…”

Nicholas snorted. He was a bit of a cheeky lad, but even this was a bit extreme for him.

“I beg your pardon, Nicholas?” Lucy intoned, a rare note of sharpness in her words.

“Nothing, Miss.”

“Nothing?”

Her question was met with silence, as the children became suddenly interested in their books.

Little Sadie alone, bold as ever, folded her arms. “You keep staring at Miss L/N,” she said. Then she tilted her head to one side. “Why do you keep staring at Miss L/N?”

Lucy felt herself turning red, which was an entirely ridiculous reaction to the inquiries made by a five-year-old girl.

“I do not stare at Miss L/N,” she said determinedly. “Wherever would you get that idea from?”

“You do,” Nicholas backed up Sadie, who sat beside him. Lucy made a mental note to rearrange seating as soon as possible. Those two were bold enough alone, let alone as table partners.

“Why do you do it?”

“Yes, Miss,” said another one of the boys, “why do you do it?”

The girl across from him scoffed. “Don’t be stupid, Jack.”

Lucy looked on in disbelief, wondering how quickly her usually quietly-respectful students had become precisely the opposite.

“Miss!” cried Jack. “Did you hear what she said to me?!”

Lucy frowned, closing her book and replacing it on the desk behind her in an admittal of defeat. It was clear that this situation would not disperse as quickly as she had hoped. “Yes, I did,” she said. “Mila, that wasn’t very nice. Please apologise.”

Mila sighed. “I didn’t mean it in a mean way—”

“Oh,” Lucy raised an eyebrow. “Is that so?”

“I meant that it’s so obvious.” The poor girl was quite exasperated, and Lucy refrained from smiling at her countenance.

She spoke instead, “I’m sorry?”

“It’s so obvious why you stare at her.”

“For the last time,” Lucy said, “I do not stare at her.”

Emily raised her hand, and didn’t wait to be asked to speak. “She stares at you too, Miss.”

“Does she—” Lucy started, then immediately chided herself, and was sure her face must be purple by now, as much as she was blushing. “No,” she said determinedly, “we are not having this discussion—”

“It’s because she liiiiiikes you!” exclaimed Kara, and the entire class erupted into giggles.

Lucy settled for a dramatic sigh and the pretense of being unfazed. That always seemed to work best in these sorts of situations. “Go back to your books, please,” she told the class hurriedly. “Has anyone read anything interesting?”

“Miss, I’ve read something interesting.”

“Oh, thank god for that,” muttered Lucy, brushing flyaway hairs from her face. “What’ve you got, Gemma?”

“Well it says here, Miss, that you and Miss L/N are in LOOOOOOOVE!”

It was then that Lucy knew, this was going to be a long day.

⭒

You were running late to your class, but with entirely good reason.

The previous lesson had been art, and it’d been quite a mess, following the painting session. Despite having worn an apron, you had paint on your trousers, on the sleeves of your shirt, paint smeared across your cheek like war markings. In short, there was paint everywhere. Absolutely bloody everywhere, and no matter how much you’d scrubbed to rid yourself of it, there was always more.

So you were running late, having spent the majority of your lunch break cleaning up the classroom, and your own person.

And to make matters worse, here was Lucy Boynton coming towards you.

Poised as ever, you felt like a barn-dweller in comparison, and her smile was radiant, whilst yours was merely tired.

You thought she was going to pass you, as she always did, but then she stopped. And with her, your heart.

Her forehead furrowed slightly. “Are you alright?

“Yes,” you breathed out, “yes, I’m fine.” You both felt and sounded rather flustered, even by your own judgement.

She smiled still, something between shy and coy, in the flutter of her eyelashes and the upturned corner of her mouth.

“You’ve got paint in your hair,” she said.

“I’ve got paint everywhere,” you responded in kind. “Been trying to clean it off, but it’s like supergl—”

Lucy had reached up and brushed a lock of hair from your forehead, her fingers twining lightly in the strands to ease a particularly stubborn fleck of paint from their midst.

Your breath was captive in your throat alongside your stuttering heart as she flicked the paint from her fingertip.

Then she tucked the lock of hair behind your ear, with a lingering touch upon your skin, wide eyes trailing along the planes of your face.

“Luce,” you murmured, and her gaze fell to your own. “Am I— am I allowed to call you that?”

She was so near to you now, so very close, the pages of the books she was carrying beneath your very nose, and you felt her words, rather than heard them.

“If you keep looking at me like that,” she whispered, shaking her head, “you could call me anything at all, and I’d still be completely enamoured by you.”

A beat.

Then you closed the distance and kissed her.

Sparks burst along your skin as both of her hands came up to cradle your face, the books dropping from her embrace as she forewent them for you— her beloved novels, you knew, because she took them everywhere— for you.

Tripping backwards in surprise at how immediately she reciprocated, at the tenderness of her mouth and the warmth of her hands, you drew your arms around her frame to keep from falling any farther than you had already. Though figuratively, falling was something you had done long ago, and there was no stopping it now, or ever.

The folds of her dress brushed against your skin, soft in comparison with the bruising manner in which she kissed you and you kissed her, unable to help yourself. She tasted of lemon and sugar, spun and fine as her hair, as her laughter, and she was so very herself, in a way that made you feel wholly consumed by adoration.

But blazing fire idled to glowing flame as that adoration took over you, and the kiss grew slower, sweeter, as she guided your hands to her waist and pressed closer, as youthfully eager as you were.

You drew back soon enough, however, albeit reluctantly, reasoning breathlessly,

“You can’t kiss me like that in the middle of a school hallway.”

Her tone was playful. “Why not?”

“Because we’re not students skipping class anymore. We’re teachers missing them.”

There was that smile of hers again, and it breached both your heart and head, turned your resolve to mush.

“I’d call this a lesson,” she said simply, touching your cheek with a gentle hand.

You scoffed, kissed her palm. “In what, exactly?”

“Gravity.”

“Gravity?”

“Yes,” said Lucy. “Yours.”

“You’re delusional if you think I’ve got any sort of gravity about me,” you laughed.

“Imaginary gravity, then,” Lucy’s smile broadened. “Will that do?”

And with the way that her eyes twinkled, you could not find it in you to refuse her.

“Lessons in imaginary gravity,” you murmured. “Yes, that’ll do. Any excuse, really.”

Thus, you wrapped her in your arms and kissed that beautiful smile that persisted heartily yet, till she giggled and your frozen fingers turned warm from being intertwined with hers.

[morningfears]

Cherry

Rating: M | This is smut! No one under 18!

Summary: “#4 and #8 with nick maybe breeding kink only if you want” - “Don’t cover your mouth, I want to hear you.” + “Keep going. If you stop, I stop.” for anon. | Ft. Breeding kink (unprotected sex; be safe, kids), little bit of daddy kink, vaguely dom!Nick.

Word Count: 3.3k

The house had finally fallen silent, the lack of noise welcome after spending the day babysitting two cheerful toddlers. There were no more cartoons to be heard, no more giggles and coos, and a small part of you missed the noise as you shuffled around the living room, picking up toys and straightening the couch cushions. A larger part, however, relished in the silence and ached to pop open a bottle of wine to enjoy as a reward for surviving the day. Your brother and his wife had just left, their two precious girls in tow, and you found yourself fantasizing about a relaxing bath as you dropped the last doll into the little box of toys you kept for the days they asked you to babysit.

Nick, who loved being Uncle Nick almost as much as you loved seeing him play the part, was busy in the kitchen, washing the dishes the four of you had dirtied throughout the day. His hair was still mussed from where the girls had tugged and played - both were in the ‘tugging at anything within their grasp’ phase - and he had a streak of pink on his cheek where the youngest had gotten him with a marker. He was clearly exhausted, the slump of his shoulders an indicator of how great a toll the day had taken on him, but he still wore a small smile on his lips as he hummed along to a song you only vaguely recognized.

You leaned against the counter, your elbows resting against the cool granite, as you watched him move around the kitchen. He could feel your eyes on him, could feel the weight of your stare against his skin, but he paid you no mind as he returned the items you’d both left scattered around the room to their rightful places. The moment he returned the last utensil to the correct drawer, he turned to face you and held his hand out for you to grab.

The moment you took his hands, he tugged you closer and placed his hands on your hips. Your arms moved to wrap around his shoulders as he began to sway the pair of you. “What’re you doing?” you asked, your voice quiet as you giggled.

Nick hummed, his hands firm on your waist as he began to lead you in a slow dance around the kitchen. “Dancing with my girl,” he answered after a beat of silence, “something wrong with that?”

You met his gaze, his eyes shining with love and adoration as he grinned at you, and you couldn’t help but shake your head. “No, Nicky,” you hummed, feeling heat rise to your cheeks as you moved to rest your head on his chest, “nothing wrong with that at all.”

Nick smiled at your response, his heart warming at the feeling of you melting into his embrace, as he pressed a kiss to the top of your head. There was no music, only the rhythmic beating of his heart as you leaned your head on his chest, but neither of you minded as he lead you around the kitchen. Dancing around the kitchen was simultaneously familiar and somewhat foreign. This was something you’d done before, usually on nights when you’d had too much to drink or you were both in a more playful mood, but it had never been so soft. It was different, but it felt right.

You remained quiet, content to allow Nick to dance to his heart’s content, but he had other things on his mind. As he swayed, his fingers brushing your skin as they dipped beneath the hem of your top, he quietly stated, “Today was fun, ma. We should do that again sometime.”

“It was,” you agree as you lift your head to meet his eyes again. You smile at the look on his face, a soft smile and a gentle look in his eyes, before you add, “I told them we’d look after them anytime they needed a sitter.”

Nick hesitated for a moment, a brief flicker of nerves clouding his eyes, before he sighed, “I can’t wait to have one of our own. I know it’s a little early but we’re gonna have a beautiful family.”

The pair of you hadn’t talked about children at length yet. You knew that Nick wanted children and you knew that you wanted them, too. He’d mentioned having children with you before, usually in a joking manner (often in the form of complimenting what a beautiful couple you made), but this was the first time he’d stated it in a way that meant something.

You weren’t ready yet, neither of you were and you knew that, but you couldn’t help sharing his sentiment. “It is a little early,” you agreed as moved your hands to cup his cheeks, “but, yeah. Someday, we’ll have a beautiful little family. I don’t even want to think about how spoiled our kids are gonna be. Between the two of us, they won’t stand a chance.”

“Who’s gonna play the bad cop?” Nick asked, a grin on his lips as he leaned in to ghost his over yours, “If our kids have your eyes, I won’t be able to tell them no.”

“Shut up,” you laughed before you closed the distance to press your lips to his in a chaste kiss, “you can be tough when you want to be. You know how to put me in my place when I’m being a brat.”

“Mm, that’s a little different, ma,” he teased with a grin as he squeezed your hips, “but, you’re right. I’ll have to be the tough one. You can’t punish the girls to save your life.”

“They’re just so cute,” you whined as you hid your face in the crook of his neck. “They smile and giggle and it’s just so precious. They’re babies, baby. They deserve fun.”

“I know,” he laughed as he finally stopped moving you around the kitchen. “Ours are gonna be even harder to say no to. You’re gonna have to toughen up before we have babies, ma,” he teased as he released you from his grasp and reached out to swat at your ass.

“Nicholas,” you scolded, your tone playful as you stepped away from him to search for your bottle of wine. “I was gonna ask you to take a bath with me but since you want to be a pain, you can entertain yourself,” you hummed as you grabbed the bottle from the fridge and a glass from the cabinet. 

“I was thinking I could entertain you,” he offered, a grin on his lips as he plucked the bottle and glass from your hands. “We’re not ready for babies yet but it’s never too early to start practicing.”

He smirked at you, his free hand moving to the back of your neck as he pulled you into a kiss. You melted into his embrace, a ball of lust forming in the pit of your stomach as you moved your hands to his hair. The idea of feeling him without a condom, of having him cum inside of you, was something you’d thought about more often than you cared to admit. You knew where he stood on the subject, the way he growled out his desire to fill you in the throes of passion told you everything you needed to know, but you’d never relented. You hadn’t wanted to take the chance, even with your birth control, but now that you knew you were on the same page about wanting children, you felt your desire overwhelming your rationality.

You knew that, no matter what happened, Nick would be there for you.

With your mind made up, you pulled away from his kiss and smiled at him. “You bring the wine, I’ll start the bath,” you informed him, your fingers releasing his hair.

Nick watched, a look of disbelief on his face as you bounded down the hall toward your bathroom. It wasn’t like you to step away from him, not when he was taking things slow and being so soft with you, but there you were, gone without a second thought. He remained in the kitchen for a moment, taking a deep breath to calm the lust swirling in the pit of his stomach, before he grabbed another glass and headed down the hall to join you.

Much to his surprise, he found you already naked. You’d shed your clothes, lit candles, and started the bath. You’d placed some sort of bath bomb in the water, a pale pink shimmer clearly noticeable in the porcelain tub, and stood bent over the edge of the tub as you swirled the water to make it dissolve a little faster.

Nick placed the wine on the counter and was quick to shed his own clothes, his t-shirt and sweatpants tossed into the laundry basket in the corner as he moved to stand behind you. His hands found your hips, his fingers cool against your heated skin as he pressed against you. You hummed, your voice quiet as you arched back against him, and he leaned in to trail kisses along your shoulders.

He glanced up, his eyes meeting his reflection in the large mirror behind your tub, and an idea hit him. From this angle, he could see everything. He could see the way your eyes fluttered shut as he brushed his lips along the nape of your neck. He could see how your nipples hardened as his hands brushed your sides, just below your ribcage. He could see the way your chest began to rise and fall just a little faster, your breath coming quicker as he nudged your feet apart with his own and the anticipation began to rise. This was the perfect position for you both to get exactly what you wanted and he was going to take full advantage of it.

Although the tub wasn’t full yet, Nick removed one hand from your body and reached out to turn the water off. Before you could question him, ask why he was interrupting your bath, he turned your head so that he could pull you into a kiss. Your lips molded together, a perfect fit, and you attempted to shift in Nick’s embrace so that you could wrap your arms round his neck, however, he kept you locked in his embrace. One hand remained cupping your jaw, keeping you in place, while the other trailed down your body. His fingers brushed at your skin, digits trailing over your stomach. He paused, briefly, his palm lingering over your belly, before he continued his descent.

“Let’s try something, ma,” he suggested, his hand dipping between your thighs. “You trust me?”

“Completely,” you answered, your voice breathless as his fingers brushed at your slit, gathering wetness. “Whatever you want, Nick. Take it.”

You didn’t have to tell him twice. Nick loved how you fell apart for him, how willing you were to let him take the reins, and smirked against your skin when he realized how wet you already were for him. “You really want it, huh? What’s got you so wet, ma?”

Nick’s fingers began to move a little faster between your thighs, his thumb finding your clit. He nudged your thighs a little farther apart, his free hand moving to cup your breast as he waited for your response. When you simply sighed, your lips parting in a quiet exclamation of pleasure, Nick moved to press his lips to your shoulder once more. “Answer me, ma, or you won’t get what you want,” he warned, his voice even as he glanced into the mirror to catch sight of your expression.

“I want you to cum inside me,” you told him, your voice taking on a hint of a whine as you opened your eyes and met his in the mirror. “Fill me up, daddy, please.”

“Fuck,” he breathed as he moved to slip a finger into your heat. “You gonna let me hit it raw?” he asked, his tone clearly surprised. He’d imagined that, even while you were planning on practicing for your future, he’d still be wearing a condom.  But this was better than he could’ve imagined.

“Yeah,” you nodded, your eyes raking down your body reflected in the mirror to watch Nick’s hand work between your thighs. “Wanna feel all of you, daddy, please,” you whined as he slipped a second finger into your heat to prepare you for his cock.

“You will, ma,” he assured you, his tone soothing as he watched you squirm in his grasp, your reflection clearly displaying how much you wanted him. To him, this was the best of both worlds. He got to have you in one of his favorite positions, bent over the nearest available surface, while also getting to see your face as he fucked you. “Be a good girl for me and bend over. I want you to watch as I fuck you, princess. I wanna see those pretty eyes the entire time, you got that?”

You bit back a whine as he removed his hands from your center and breathed, “Yes, daddy,” as you bent over the edge of the tub. You gripped the edge, your hands slick, and let Nick nudge your thighs farther apart as he settled between them. You kept your eyes on the mirror, your eyes glued to his body, as he stroked his cock for a moment. He reached out and slapped your ass, his smirk growing as you bit your lip. He knew that you loved it when he spanked you, the nights where you came away with a sore ass and completely sated were your favorites, but that wasn’t on the agenda for the night.

Instead, he left well enough alone and moved to run his cock along your folds. He teased for a moment, barely brushing the tip of his cock over your entrance, before he slipped into you. He knew that neither of you would last long this round, not with this being the first time feeling one another without the barrier of a condom, so he figured he’d save the teasing for later. 

“Keep your eyes on me, ma,” he reminded you as he slipped inside and watched your eyes flutter closed. “If you stop, I stop. Remember that,” he warned as he bottomed out inside you.

You watched your reflection in the mirror. Your eyes were blown wide with lust, your chest heaving as you attempted to breathe through the pleasure, and you could see what Nick praised as you watched him begin rocking his hips. You looked sinful, the epitome of lust, as his hand snaked between your legs. You watched yourself for another moment before your gaze shifted to Nick.

His hair was matted to his forehead with sweat, the exertion and steam from the bathroom making his skin glisten as he drove his cock into you. His eyebrows were pinched in concentration, his bottom lip between his teeth as he watched his cock disappear into your cunt, and you could tell that he was just as overwhelmed at the new feeling as you were. The feeling of him bare, nothing hindering your pleasure, was unlike anything you’d experienced and you had to force yourself to keep your eyes open as every drag of his cock against your walls felt like the first time all over again.

“Fuck, you feel so good,” he praised, his free hand gripping your waist as his thumb brushed your clit. “Feel so good around me, ma. So tight, so warm, fuck.”

You’d never been one for making too much noise during sex. You were always somewhat embarrassed, the noises leaving your lips making you slightly self-conscious, but Nick wanted nothing more than to hear you. He loved hearing your whimpers and whines. He loved hearing you scream his name, loved hearing you gasp and moan for him. So when he caught sight of you placing a hand over your mouth, he moved his hand from your clit to grab your wrist.

“Don’t cover your mouth,” he ordered, his tone firm but voice quiet as he drove into you, “I want to hear you. Let me know how I’m making you feel, ma.”

You swallowed your moans for another moment, your teeth sunk into your bottom lip, as Nick’s hands grabbed both of your wrists and gathered them behind your back. He used his grip on them for leverage as he quickened his pace. Without your hands to cover your moans, you couldn’t help but let them echo around the bathroom as Nick met your eyes in the mirror. He could feel you clench around him at the sight. He looked beautiful, so focused on making sure both of you got what you wanted, and his earlier prediction came to fruition as he only had to utter, “Cum for me, ma, wanna feel you let go for me,” to toss you over the edge.

The combination of feeling him bare, the feeling of his fingers circling your clit, and watching him fuck you in the mirror was too much for you. You tightened around him, something that had him groaning your name, and came with an exclamation of his name. The feeling of you tightening around him, watching your face as he took you from behind, and the prospect of being able to cum inside of you and fill you was enough to bring him over the edge after you.

He fucked you through both of your orgasms, your moans echoing through the bathroom as you moaned at the feeling of him filling you. You’d never felt that full, no matter what he’d done, and you wanted to cry as you felt him begin to pull away. However, your whimpers turned into moans as he slipped his hands between your thighs to push the cum leaking from your cunt back inside.

“Fuck, ma,” he breathed, his chest heaving as he stared at the mess between your thighs, “fuck.”

You hummed your agreement, finding yourself unable to speak as you finally closed your eyes and let Nick keep you steady. You remained where you were for a moment, still bent over the tub, before Nick reached around you to turn the faucet back on. When he stepped away after leaning you against the tub, you huffed an unhappy noise and opened your eyes to watch him move around the bathroom to grab a tissue to clean you up.

“I’m not goin’ anywhere,” he laughed as he returned to you, “didn’t think you’d want cum in the tub. Yet.”

“Nicholas,” you huffed, your voice slightly hoarse as you slapped his shoulder. “Fuck off.”

“I could just fuck you,” he shrugged, a smirk on his lips as he returned his hands to your hips. “You know what they say, ma. Practice makes perfect. I don’t think one round’s gonna cut it.”

“Definitely not,” you agreed, your own hands moving to his hair. “Guess we should practice until we feel ready. Just to be sure, you know?”

Nick grinned at that, his teeth on display, before he leaned in to press a kiss to your lips. “I love you,” he reassured you as he reached for the wine, “we’ll be pros by the time we’re ready for the real thing.”

You rolled your eyes at his statement before you grabbed the wine glass from his hand. “I love you, too, Nick,” you returned, a smile on your lips as he helped you into the tub, “so much.”

The timing wasn’t right yet but, as he mentioned, practice makes perfect. The pair of you never settled for anything less and this time, you knew without a shadow of a doubt, would be no different.

_______________________________________________________________________

Author’s Note: Happy New Year, pals. Well, it’s NYE. But, still. I haven’t written smut smut in a while so this was fun. I’m in my Nick feelings at the moment. But also lowkey Brandon? And always Zion, tbh. I just. Need to pick a lane. Also, because there’s an overlap between the PM and CNCO fandoms, I’ve been reading fics for them and I need to not. Also, my nieces are precious and this was kinda soft but also not really so. I dunno. Okay, welp. I’m gonna go watch The Simpsons and ring in the new year with my dog because I’m still at home and would very much like to go back to my apartment.

[leverage-ot3]

notable moments from The Order 23 Job

leverage 2.03

Nate: Nobody wants to see this guy just get a slap on the wrist, Ronald, I mean, but killing him? He's a thief, not a murder.

literally !!! this !!!

I’m not even going to go into current events but no matter what someone has done, ESPECIALLY if they haven’t had a trial yet they do NOT deserve to be killed or murdered or anyone (side eyes the US police system). I said what I said.

- - - - -

Ronald: He was smart, responsible, and Armenian, like us.

Nate: Yeah, well, they call these affinity crimes, people who prey on fellow members of ethnic groups

- - - - -

Hardison: Eddie's new address in Fort Walton Beach, Florida, is the original "Club Fed".

Eliot: He's got his own nine-hole golf course. Vegan menu.

Hardison: This dude can play Frisbee with the guys from Enron in the quadrangle.

Eliot: I hate those guys. 18 months in a country club, this guy.

Parker: Yeah, and then when he gets done, he gets to come home and collect his hidden cash

we love to see the ot3 angry about the same things while sitting close together

+ eliot is wearing a flannel in this one

- - - - -

parker doing a happy dance in the vents when she knocks the guy out

- - - - -

(Hardison unpacks computer monitors and sets up a workstation while a video feed of Parker making the bed plays on a laptop. Hardison plays audio sounds on the laptop)

Nate: Hey.

Hardison: Hey. I put speakers in Eddie's room and every 3 feet down the hallway. So if you want to hear footsteps coming toward you, you slide the cursor this way. (demonstrates) And walking away, this way. I made you a master audio file with all the stuff we recorded, plus the sound effects. You mix them any way you want. You're the dj

that’s actually really smart

- - - - -

Parker: All right, well, here's the stuff from the van plus almost everything from the list. (opens a bag) And by the way, nurses haven't worn skirts with white stockings since the '70s. Sorry.

(hardison and eliot share a look)

dumb idiot boys that think it’d be funny to see their future gf in an old nurse uniform

- - - - -

Hardison: If you don't give me that shirt--

Eliot: Listen to me, son, you need those fingers to type on your little keyboard, don't you?

Hardison: So you know, a bully is just a cowboy with low self-esteem.

Eliot: What was that, now?

Hardison: I said what?

Eliot: My insecure ass is gonna be wearing this shirt

- - - - -

Parker: You're not claustrophobic, are you, Mr. Maranjian? (pushes him down the hall, leaning down to whisper in his ear) Because you've got nothing to be afraid of.

I LOVE IT WHEN SHE FUCKS WITH PEOPLE

- - - - -

(Eliot stops to look at the boy, who looks up at him with tears in his eyes)

Hardison: So, say I mention "The Search for Spock", what do you do?

Eliot: I don't have a TV.

Hardison: Everybody has TVs. Dead people have TVs. Damn it.

(Hardison walks away, but Eliot remains, looking at the boy and his father)

- - - - -

Nate: See, y-you tell someone they have a bunch of symptoms and the information gets processed in the executive center of the brain, right? It's job is to question assumptions, start an argument. But if you suggest symptoms, you can bypass all that.

Parker: Like subliminal advertising?

Nate: It's actually neurolinguistic programming, you know, the gateway to the amygdala, which is the fear center of the brain. You asked what we're selling. That's-- that's what we're selling.

Parker: So we're selling...

Nate: Fear.

Parker: Oh. Fear.

Nate: Yeah.

Parker: Cool.

Nate: Yeah

- - - - -

Parker (looking at monitor): Wait, his nose. Is that...

Nate: real blood?

Eddie: I'm-- I'm bleeding! I'm bleeding!

Nate: Yes. Yes, it is.

Eddie: Hello?! Can anyone hear me?! Please!

Parker: Did you just give a guy a nosebleed with the power of your mind?

Nate: Amygdala mania. Hmm. Almond tonsils.

Parker: Is it just me, or has Nate gotten a little sadistic since he quit drinking?

Sophie: Is it just me, or does that make him even more attractive

- - - - -

Hardison: Eliot, can you talk? What's Charlie doing?

[Hallway]

Eliot: I haven't gotten there yet. (looks into room with Trent and his son)

Hardison: No wonder I couldn't hear you on my coms. Eliot, stop checking out the nurses and get your ass down to Charlie!

Eliot: I'm on my way, all right? Shut up.

(Eliot takes out his earbud and walks into the exam room to Trent)

Eliot: Excuse me, sir. Can I talk to you for a second, please

eliot cares SO MUCH

- - - - -

(Eliot grabs Trent’s arm and bends him over the railing)

Eliot: That bruise on his cheek's a week old. The one on his neck is three days. He get that falling, too?

Trent: You don't believe me? Ask him.

Eliot: Why, huh? So I can hear how well his daddy taught him to lie?

Trent: If you're gonna arrest me, go ahead. I'll be out in five minutes.

Eliot: I ain't gonna arrest you.

(Eliot nearly throws Trent over the railing letting him dangle for a moment before throwing him back against the wall. He opens Trent’s wallet and looks at his license)

Eliot: Randall Trent, 73 Austin Street. (puts wallet in his pocket) I got my eye on you now.

Trent: How many guys don't even see their kids? I bet this place is full of deadbeat dads. But a man who provides for his family, who shows his son a firm hand, he's the bad guy? Go back to your speed traps.

(Trent leaves the stairwell. Eliot looks pissed)

eliot is SO ANGRY I love my kind-hearted man

also high key I really thinks this gives an insight as to what his childhood was like

like,,, he saw the signs RIGHT AWAY. he was primed to notice them. he saw right through any act that man would have pulled because he saw what was truly going on, and things like that hit harder and closer when they’ve happened to you or someone in your life

- - - - -

Sophie: You know, I once had to play six parts in "Nicholas Nickleby" and Mrs. Squeers and Phib had a bloody song together.

- - - - -

on today’s edition of non-weapons-that-eliot-uses-as-weapons, we have eliot using the morgue body cabinet doors and a gross morgue body part (?) bowl

- - - - -

(Eliot puts Charlie on top of one of the bodies in the drawers and closes him inside before putting his earbud back in)

Hardison: You think you can just ignore me, like I don't have any feelings, like I never sat there, never listened to you talk all night about tryin--

Eliot: Hardison, have you been talking the whole time?

Hardison: I wouldn't have had to if you didn't turn off your daggum com

hardison worries about eliot and gets angry when he takes his coms out because he cares

- - - - -

Hardison: Oh, man. Come on.

(Hardison moves to tug Eliot before he heads off. Eliot looks from the boy to the police coming into the hospital before entering the boy’s room and pulling the curtain)

Eliot: Hey. How's the arm, my man?

Randy: It's okay.

Eliot: Yeah? My name's Eliot. What's your name?

(police officers continue to move through the hallways)

Randy: Randy.

Eliot: Randy. Oh, I like that name. (sits on bed) I got an uncle named Randy. There sure are a lot of cops around here, huh? You know, if you wanted, you could go up to one and tell them what happened to your arm. Hey, Randy. You don't have to be afraid anymore.

Randy: Dad knows these cops, you know? They come to my house. They'll drink beer. I mean… I can't

this is so, so sad but also hardison’s casual touching and intimacy with eliot gives me life

- - - - -

this is the one episode parker is tased and not the one doing the tasing

- - - - -

okay but wHO ACTUALLY, IN REAL LIFE, LEAVES THEIR KEYS IN THEIR UNLOCKED CAR

- - - - -

PARKER USED ELIOTS PUNCHING TACTICS (from the last episode) TO KNOCK THEIR MARK OUT

- - - - -

(Eddie uses the stunner to knock Parker out. As soon as he moves away, she gets up, lifting her shirt to show a vest)

hmmm I wonder what type of vest she used to block the electric shock ???

- - - - -

(team walks out of the courthouse and heads down the stairs)

Nate: So, here's everything you need to know about criminal law. Every crime has two elements, Actus reus, the act itself, and mens rea, Literally "The Guilty Mind."

Hardison: Wait. Now you're a doctor and a lawyer?

Nate: Yes. Now, for escape, the prisoner has to both break out of custody and show the intent to escape.

Sophie: Wait, so if, let's say, a prisoner was taken hostage during a jailbreak then he wouldn't be guilty of escape.

Nate: That's a perfect example.

Hardison: Kiss ass.

Nate: Which brings us back to our friend Eddie and how the brain reacts to fear. In the heat of the moment Eddie didn't ask himself a simple question, who would doubt his guilty mind?

- - - - -

Bob: Damn right it is. You and your partner, you're all right. I don't know how to thank you, though.

(Eliot looks at Bob for a long moment, then pulls Trent’s license from his pocket and hands it to Bob)

Eliot: Do one thing for me.

Bob: You got it.

[Exterior Apartment]

(Bob knocks on the door and Randy opens it)

Bob: Randy? I'm Deputy United States Marshal Robert Corville. I'm from Boston. I think you and I need to talk.

Trent: Who are you talking to out there? (pulls door open wider and sees Bob)

Bob: Come on.

(Randy looks at Trent then follows Bob out of the apartment)

Bob: It's all right, son. Come on. You're gonna be okay, Randy.

(Bob gives Trent one last look before moving away. From down the street, Eliot watches as Bob and Randy get into a car and drive away)

eliot watching over to make sure the kid was okay in the end? my HEART

[wrightiverse]

Chrysanthemums

When he was drunk and maudlin, Bill Close had a phrase he used to explain why he’d never become a star: timing is everything. If he hadn’t done a certain audition right before lunch, when people were hungry and distracted. If he’d been playing the night the agent was in the bar, instead of at home babysitting. If he’d been five minutes earlier here, two hours later there, a few seconds in either direction, he’d have the life he was actually supposed to have. Bad timing. Good timing. Didn’t quite pull off the timing. Timing is everything. Glenn buys all that as a kid, but he eventually realizes that Bill only had it half right. It’s not just the bad stuff that comes down to being in the right place at the right moment. Sometimes, everything aligns to give you much more than you deserve. (Posted this on AO3 originally but we’re all in sad Close boys hours this week anyway so I may as well bring it over here. Full version below cut has references to a car accident, pregnancy, and a certain canonical death that I’m sure you can guess. It was also written before we realized that Wrightiverse Nick was trans but fuck it, why go back and have Glenn and Morgan misgender baby Nick when I don’t have to. Nick is much younger when Morgan passes in this than in the show’s canon now but canon is optional, free your mind.) 

When he was drunk and maudlin, Bill Close had a phrase he used to explain why he’d never become a star: timing is everything. If he hadn’t done a certain audition right before lunch, when people were hungry and distracted. If he’d been playing the night the agent was in the bar, instead of at home babysitting. If he’d been five minutes earlier here, two hours later there, a few seconds in either direction, he’d have the life he was actually supposed to have. Bad timing. Good timing. Didn’t quite pull off the timing. Timing is everything. Glenn buys all that as a kid, but he eventually realizes that Bill only had it half right. It’s not just the bad stuff that comes down to being in the right place at the right moment. Sometimes, everything aligns to give you much more than you deserve. *** It’s not exactly a fairytale love story. They literally meet in a dumpster.

It’s been most of a year since he told his parents to go shove their advice and their money up their respective asses, three months since the semester ended and he lost access to the dorm room and meal plan, a week since he ran out of cash, and at least 24 hours since he ate anything. Couch-surfing is keeping a roof over his head, and his friends are generous with food and booze and weed when they have any to spare, but that only goes so far. One year of college courses under his belt, no idea how to make a resume, no work history even if he did, no permanent address. The job offers aren’t exactly flooding in.

But to hell with it, Glenn Close isn’t gonna just lay down and die. He’s already cased a bakery a few blocks away and he knows they usually throw out the stuff too stale to sell around 11 p.m. He’d hoped not to have to use that info, but whatever. Someday this will make a great anecdote for his episode of Behind The Music.

Glenn hovers across the street until he sees a silhouetted figure toss a bag into the dumpster in the alley, then casually strolls over once the figure goes back inside. The sides of the dumpster are taller and have fewer handholds than he’d pictured, but he drags over some pallets and manages to climb in. It’s half empty and the bag has landed right on top, safe from the nasty trash juices that are soaking the cuffs of his jeans.

The first thing he sees when he tears the bag open is a plain bagel, and the first bite he takes is so good that he almost passes out. He’s so busy wolfing it down that he doesn’t notice the approaching steps from outside until another bag of trash flies over the top of the dumpster and bounces off his head.  

“Watch it,” he says reflexively. Then he freezes, not even chewing as he strains to listen for movement outside. Nothing. Maybe they just tossed the bag and walked back inside. He might get away with this.

“Yo, Templeton,” a voice says from outside the dumpster. “You gonna quit pretending you’re not in there, or should I close the lid?”

Glenn considers his options for a moment, but now that he comes to think of it… “Yeah, I’m realizing I don’t have anything to stand on in here. Little help?”

That’s the first time he hears her laugh. Even knowing he was the butt of the joke, he wants to hear it again. He gets his chance seconds later, when her head pops above the wall of the dumpster.

“Would you look at that? Somebody threw away a perfectly good dumbass.” Then that laugh rings out for the second time

Even his innate panache can’t overcome being hungry, chest-high in trash bags, and covered with flour. He’s humbled, and she’s amused, and that somehow turns into a connection that surprises both of them with how deep it gets and how fast.

If Glenn meets her at any other moment than that, he blows it by trying to be cool and charming. He lucked out. It’s perfect timing.

Morgan’s too good for him on any level you can name. Too cool for him, too smart, too tough, too beautiful. A better musician than him, both with the actual music and the business side. She’s the one who teaches him how to scrounge and hustle, how to read a contract’s fine print and argue with a booking agent who doesn’t want to pay up. Sometimes it feels like every other living soul on earth is elbow-to-elbow with them, fighting for the same scraps that they are, but it’s clear that Morgan’s the one in a million who’s going to make it. And he’s along for the ride, feeling like the luckiest son of a bitch alive every single damn day.    ***

***

Seven years hearing her laugh every day. Seven years getting to be the one who makes her laugh, sometimes even on purpose.

“I think we should get married,” he says one day, and she laughs in his face.

“You still think it’s more legit if the government knows about it, huh?” But she softens, because she knows what he’s actually trying to say, because of course she does. “I get it, baby. This is the real deal. In sickness and health, for better or for worse, and so forth. I’m not signing any paperwork, but you know we throw a good party. Let’s just do the fun parts. You down?”

It’s a very good party, and afterward she calls him “my husband” and they make plans to get rings. Later, if she’s tipsy and feels like teasing him, she calls him “my first husband,” and she laughs. Then she squeezes his face in her hands and gives him a kiss to make sure he understands that she’s only joking. He always knows she’s joking. He always lets her kiss him anyway.

***

Morgan spends a few days thinking she’s got food poisoning before realizing a stowaway has outwitted their precautions. Glenn’s always counted that as very good timing by Nicholas -  if that tricky little bastard shows up any earlier than he does, there’s no way Glenn even considers becoming a parent. But once they decide to go for it, it’s more fun than they’d have ever imagined. They build a lot of castles in the air together while they’re waiting to meet Nick. Glenn says he wants enough kids for a Partridge Family style band, and Morgan agrees as long as nobody plays the tambourine.

They discuss it endlessly, but finally decide a percussionist is the first priority. The closer the due date gets, the more it seems like their new bandmate agrees. Morgan grabs Glenn’s hand and puts it on her belly so he can feel the urgent kicks. “Check out this sick drum solo.”

Nick inherits his parents’ knack for knowing how to make an entrance. He’s so fashionably late that Morgan decides they should just party without him. It’s like ditching the friend who’s taking too long to get ready, except for the part where they can’t actually leave him behind. She and Glenn hit up their favorite venue that very night. The music thumps through their bodies like a pulse. The energy of the crowd makes them forget how long they’ve been waiting. And if anybody has any concerns about seeing a ridiculously pregnant woman dancing her heart out until her hair sticks to her face with sweat, they’re smart enough to keep their mouths shut.

Fear of missing out is apparently hardwired, and Nick graciously deigns to join them a few days later. Everything changes. Three a.m. feels a lot different when you know you’ll be awake again at 4:30, and 5, and probably 7, and maybe 8 for good measure, and…

“This new guy can’t hang,” Morgan mutters. She’s standing beside the bed, Nick tucked against her shoulder, patting his back and swaying. Glenn’s sitting up in bed, trying to stay awake out of solidarity, losing the battle.

“New guy is a lightweight,” he says. “And he’s pretty nasty. That dude does not know what a toilet is for.”

“Come on, man, get it together,” Morgan says softly to the fussing figure in her arms. “We can’t take you anywhere.” Baby Nick finally burps and spits up a little onto Morgan’s shirt. A few additional angry hiccups are all he can manage before he falls asleep.

“Did you hear that?” Morgan murmurs as she lowers him into the crib. “He said he was gonna fight me. Slow your roll, new guy, you aren’t ready for this heat.”

She collapses back onto the bed next to Glenn. “I’m bluffing. He’s kicking my ass.”

“Me too,” Glenn says, “but at least we outnumber him.” ***

***

Not long after Nick’s second birthday, Morgan notices that she’s a couple of days late. It’s not a big deal, it usually doesn’t mean anything. Glenn makes a joke about the Close Family Quartet, and Morgan says she’ll grab a test when she gets groceries that weekend. But whether their lead guitarist was about to debut or still waiting in the wings, she made an amateur mistake and left things a little too late. The band broke up first. That’s show business for you.

People always want to know what happened. Glenn never gets into details. They must make up their own pictures in their head: a rain-slick curve taken too fast, a semi truck jack-knifing across the highway. It makes more sense for something like that to happen when you already know you’re in danger.

It’s the middle of the day. He’s going maybe five over the speed limit, keeping pace with traffic. He’s not high or drunk or tired or even distracted. They’re just in the wrong place at the wrong time. A dog runs into the road, someone swerves to miss it, someone else tries to get out of their way. Barely a fender-bender, except that their car gets just enough of a push to end up in the intersection.

Early on, he thinks a lot about how a few seconds here and there could change things.

The dog runs into the street a little later, and then the oncoming traffic isn't trying to beat a yellow light.

The dog runs into the street a little earlier, and they drive home with a scraped bumper.

But that’s Bill’s half-assed way of thinking about it, and Glenn knows better. It’s true, it could have been different. It could have been much worse.

He drives a split second slower, and the other car meets theirs with a direct hit, crumpling the back seat as well as the front with far more force than Nick’s booster seat can deflect.

He drives a split second faster, and the clipped bumper spins them into the next lane, and he never makes it to the hospital at all, and Nick doesn’t have anybody left.

Glenn knows now what his dad was talking about in those grumbling laments. It’s like trying to put together two tracks that are just slightly out of sync. Where do you snip out a piece to make things fit right again? What if you’re already balanced on that tipping point with the fewest misfortunes and the most lucky breaks? What happens if you start messing with that?

He can’t second-guess. It happened the way it happened, and he’s still here, and Nick’s still here, so he still has a job to do. He’s going to be there for Nick the whole way, along for the ride, feeling like the luckiest son of a bitch alive because he gets to be here at all. It could have gone another way. Timing is everything.

[katefiction]

Cora, Chapter 2: Invitations

I have to tell someone.

I can’t.

I can’t tell anyone.

Annie, she’d know what to do.

No, she’d just congratulate me and pat me on the back.

Jenny? She’d freak me out even more.

Mum…let’s not go there.

Dad? I quiver at the thought.

The door swings open as I stand contemplating my options, one hand in my mouth, my nail being torn to shreds, the other clutching a bottle of brandy.

‘Cora!’, he says as if I’m a wonderful surprise he wasn’t expecting. 

‘Evening Nicholas’, I smile, placing my hand at my side quickly.

He looks fantastic, his hair perfectly in place, and wearing a blue shirt and chinos. I have opted for a little black dress.

‘You look lovely’, he kisses me on both cheeks and I hand him the brandy.

‘For you’.

 ‘Brandy and fish? I think I’ll have to teach you a thing or two about flavours!’, he chuckles.

He lets me in to his plush Notting Hill apartment. Unlike my apartment at Clarence House, Nicholas is surrounded by shiny new furniture and contemporary art. It’s the kind of place that when you step bare foot, your feet sink into the lush, soft strands of the carpet.

He puts the brandy to one side and pours me a glass of wine.

‘So what’s for dinner?’, I ask.

‘Salt-crusted grilled fish with lemongrass’, he says proudly. 

‘You are full of surprises! Who knew you were a cook?’

‘I have many talents’, he says, looking over his glass at me.

I blush lightly. I have no idea what to say in response.

We settle down to dinner, Nicholas entertaining me with stories from his childhood, and the rivalry he and his older brother, Jonathan, had as boys.

‘I used to scribble out his grades on his school work and replace them with E’s and F’s’, he laughs, ‘he used to get so angry when Mum and Dad made him do more homework to make up for it’.

‘I wish I had siblings’

‘They’re not all they’re made out to be’

‘No, you’re so lucky to have that one person who understands…’, I trail off. ‘…I remember being seven and finally realising that Mum and Dad divorcing meant I wouldn’t get a little brother or sister to play with.’

I don’t have to tell Nicholas the story, we’d never talked about it, but of course he knew, the whole world knew. My parents divorced when I was five. They continued to live in Clarence House, albeit in very separate apartments, for my sake. When I left home for university, Mum wasted no time in moving to a secluded country home in Surrey. I’d resented her for it ever since. For leaving me. For leaving Dad.

I snap myself out of it as Nicholas says, ‘yes well, silver linings and all that.’ I can see I’ve made him uncomfortable. He changes the subject and my family aren’t mentioned for the rest of the meal.

After a chocolate soufflé, we head over to the living area. I’m a little woozy from the wine and would love to put my feet up and sink into the couch, but it’s hard on the back and sides, and I sit awkwardly upright as Nicholas sits next to me, looking all the more glamorous, his arm draped over his arm rest.

‘Get comfortable’, he insists.

I shuffle backwards into the couch, holding my wine in one hand, doing my best to look casual.

Nicholas swirls the wine in his glass. ‘So I know it’s a bit short notice for someone like you, but my father’s hosting our annual Highland Fling next month, and I wondered if you’d like to accompany me?’

‘Will you be dancing?’, I giggle.

‘Yes, of course, and I’ll be in a kilt’

I almost ask him if he’ll wear the kilt in the traditional way, with nothing underneath, but I stop myself. He raises an eyebrow as if he’s expecting me to ask that very question.

‘I’ll check my diary’, I say instead.

Nicholas’ face drops slightly, giving him a look of an abandoned puppy on the roadside.

‘I’m sure it’ll be fine though Nick! Best not double book myself’, I say cheerily, placing a hand on his knee to reassure him. 

‘Good’. He reaches to my hair, tucking a strand behind my ear before resting it on my shoulder. Tilting his body toward mine, my heart starts to beat uncontrollably. He’s taken that small gesture as a green light. Shit.

Nicholas is inches away from my face when I panic, ‘I can’t!’, I say, my voice going to liquid.

He stops, but doesn’t pull away, his face still ludicrously close to mine given what I’d just said.

‘You can’t?’

‘I mean I won’t…I mean…just not on the first date’, I manage a smile.

I’m lying; I did mean ‘I can’t’. A Freudian slip. How could I kiss this man after kissing another yesterday? How could he compare? I shake the thought of Ben out of my mind.

Nicholas pats my knee, ‘of course’.

‘Could I use the bathroom?’, I say, hoping to change the subject.

‘Through the passage, second on the right’. I think I hear a hint of annoyance in his voice.

I amble back from the bathroom a few minutes later, looking at the art work in the passage as I go. Next to the doorway that leads back to the living area is a small, wooden telephone table, with a telephone and a pile of documents sitting on top. The one messy thing in Nicholas’ home, I think to myself.

My father has always said I have an inquisitive mind; anyone else would call it nosy. I reassure myself that I’m just getting to know him better as I flick nonchalantly through Nicholas’ papers. A single sheet at the bottom of the pile catches my eye.

25/07/2163

Invoice

Elliot Mason Private Catering

2 course meal x2    £250.00

I push the papers back into place, smarting from my discovery. Part of me is endeared that he would go to such lengths for our date. The other part, the niggling part in my chest, is annoyed that he lied to me. It’s the cynical princess that wins. I have to test him.

‘So’ I say as I re-enter the room, where Nicholas is clearing away the glasses, ‘what are you going to cook for me next time?’ 

‘Ha! Well next time, we’ll be at the Highland Fling, so I won’t need to’, he gives me a small wink.

Forcing myself to come to my senses, I thank him for the evening, and promise to get in touch. So what if he paid a chef and lied about it? Surely that proves he likes me?

Maybe that niggling feeling I’ve felt all night isn’t my doubt, maybe it’s guilt.

I have to tell someone.

***

I drum my fingers across the desk in an erratic beat as Maggie reals off my commitments for the coming month. Our monthly diary meetings were her idea; a way to keep me organised and for us to merge my work diary with my personal one.

‘The weekend beginning Saturday, August twenty-eighth, you have free…’

‘I’m in Scotland that weekend’, I say, distracted by a fly buzzing near the window, trying to escape. 

‘Ok, for the whole weekend?’ Maggie never asked for specifics, where I was going and who with were my business. Nevertheless, I usually told her anyway.

I get up and open the window, releasing the fly to the world, ‘I’m not sure yet, it’s the Dunrobin Highland Fling, I might come home the next day’.

She scribbles something in her diary, as we discuss the last few days of August for a couple of minutes. I’m eager to leave, I hate meetings. I’m always the fly trying to escape from the window.

‘Just one last thing Ma’am’, Maggie picks up a large, thick envelope. ‘This came for you at the office, I presume you were expecting it?’

She hands it to me and I pull out the contents; a navy blue information pack, with the words ‘Marion and James Evans Trust’ in white writing on the cover. My heart skips a beat.

Opening the folder, I find a compliments note written in scrawling, spiky handwriting,

‘In case you couldn’t find the email address,

Ben Evans’

I’m convinced Maggie can hear my heart humming.

‘It’s from Ben Evans, about the Trust’, I say, my mouth dry.

‘Is he wanting you to get involved?’ Maggie asks, more interested in her paperwork.

‘Um…I don’t know’, I stay glued to the spot, staring at his disjointed penmanship, wondering what it says about him.

‘Are you ok Ma’am?’

When I look up, Maggie is looking at me, a slightly concerned expression on her face. It’s not like me to be so quiet.

‘I kissed him’. The words are out before my brain can stop them.

‘Mr Egerton, Ma’am?’

‘What?’, she thinks I’m talking about Nicholas, I had told her about the date in a fit of nerves on the way back from the awards. ‘No, not Nicholas…Ben, that night, I don’t know what happened, one minute we were talking, the next…’

Maggie’s eyes widen for a milli-second, then settle. She is truly the calmest person I know.

‘Are you planning to see each other again?’

‘I don’t know, I mean of course not! I’m seeing Nicholas, it was just a moment of madness’, I blurt out.

‘Are you worried?’, she says, trying to find the source of my angst.

‘About what?’

‘That he may speak to someone?’

Her innocent question hits me in the chest like a freezing snowball on a winter’s day. I hadn’t even considered he might talk to someone, and by ‘someone’, Maggie meant the press.

‘He wouldn’t, would he? I mean, why would he?’, the panic in my voice is rising by the second.

‘For publicity, press attention…any number of reasons Ma’am’

‘Oh shit’. How could I be so stupid?

Maggie tries to placate me, ‘I can get in contact with his team, make sure he knows any such action would be deplorable’

‘No! No, it’s fine, I’ll speak to him myself’, I scan the room, my mind buzzing.

‘I’m not sure that would be advisable’, she says calmly.

I ignore her against my better judgement, ‘I should see him in person, yes, that’s what I need to do, I need to see him.’

***

Queen’s Club, London

Maggie knew it was an excuse, I knew it was an excuse. But that wasn’t enough to stop me.

I’m well known around here, visiting every month or so to play a quick game of tennis. Ben and I had spoken about it that night, he had told me he comes here often, and after a few discreet phone calls from Maggie, I had discovered he’d be here training today.

Walking towards the lawns in my tennis whites and neon pink trainers, I scan the area for any sight of him and it doesn’t take long before I do. Swinging his racket forcefully against his training partner’s forehand, he bounces around the court, sweating head to toe in the August heat.  

I stand and watch for a few minutes, admiring the shapes his body can make under such speed, until his partner relents and goes to find some shade. Ben heads over to a bench on the side of the court, sits down and leans back his head, pouring water from his bottle all over his face, before gulping the rest down. 

I stride towards him purposefully. I am here for a reason.

I see him squinting like he’s seen a mirage. A grin passes over his face as I approach.

‘Morning, how are you?’, he says simply.

‘Good thanks, and you?’, I say. Casual. Be casual.

‘Good, good’

I stand in front of him, an expectant silence between us. Say something clever, Cora, or funny. Say anything. Speak for God’s sake!

‘I got your information pack, thank you!’, I say with a squeak.

‘Well, I noticed there hadn’t been any emails from you’, he shrugged. ‘I thought you might have been avoiding me.’

I laugh like a deranged idiot, ‘why would I avoid you?’

‘Because you kissed me’

I’m startled by his bluntness and stumble over my words before I realise what he’s just said.

‘Wait a second, you kissed me’, I say indignantly.

‘That’s not how I remember it’, he leans down to re-tie his shoelaces.

I open my mouth to bite back, then realise what he’s doing. ‘Nice try’.

‘Aha, she’s discovered a sense of humour at last’, he says, looking to the sky playfully.

I sit down next to him; I need to bite the bullet. ‘I have to ask you something…’, I say tentatively.

‘Go on’

‘Have you…told anyone about what happened?’

‘Nope, why?’

‘I just had to check’

‘For?…’ He places his elbows on his thighs and studies me.

‘If it got out, well, it would be a nightmare; I would really appreciate it if you didn’t say anything’

‘Thanks for the vote of confidence’, he rolls his eyes. ‘Is there someone in particular you don’t want to find out? A boyfriend, perhaps’

My heart jumps into my throat. ‘No!’ I say it a little too quickly. ‘But, I’ve been on a date, since…it happened’

Why did I just tell him that?

A flicker of disappointment passes over his face.

‘So you‘re just worried I’ll use you for publicity?’, a darkness clouds his voice.

‘No, I-’

‘Cora, I’ve been in the public eye long enough to know how it works, I’m not interested in making the Sunday papers, I just want to play tennis’

‘I’m sorry, it would be stupid of me not to check’, I say.

He nods in agreement, ‘I appreciate you coming to me yourself’

‘See, I told Maggie that would be best!’, I can’t wait for the chance to rub that one in her face.

‘So Maggie knows does she?’, he raises both eyebrows. ‘And yet I’m getting the lecture about keeping my mouth shut!’

Crap. ‘She’s the only person I told, I swear’, I say, panicking.

Ben laughs, that glorious, big laugh, ‘I couldn’t give a shit who you tell’. There’s that bluntness again.

I want to hit him with my racket; this man knows how to break me into a sweat.

‘As you’re here, do you fancy a game?’, he motions towards the court.

‘With you?’

‘No with the Pope, yes with me. I heard Bejar offered you lessons, I think you can do better than him’, his deep brown eyes dart across mine.

I force Nicholas back into my mind like a shoehorn. Don’t flirt, don’t flirt.

‘Well you do need help on that forehand’, I tease.

We head over to the court where we hit a few balls around, Ben giving me some pointers along the way. As we finally get into a game, unsurprisingly, he wins every point. All but one, when he hits the net.

Later as I walk him to the changing rooms, I can’t help but gloat. ‘A point against a tennis champion, that’s pretty good going.’

‘One measly point! And it was only because I was distracted by those ridiculous trainers!’, he looks down at my neon pink feet.

It usually takes an age for a new friend to feel like they can tease me. I smile to myself, grateful that he just didn’t ‘give a shit’.

‘I’m sure you’re better at other things’, he pats me on the shoulder unaware of the glow it ignites inside me.

‘I am’, I try and sound mysterious.

‘Like?’

I say the first think that pops into my mind, ‘like the Highland Fling’

Ben finds this hilarious, of course he does.

‘I bet you couldn’t do it, I bet you’re too “manly” to even try’, I hold his gaze.

‘Try me’, he says, his voice deep.

‘There’s a party on the twenty-eighth, my friend…the guy I’m going with, it’s at his home, a big do, I’ll send you the details…if you’re not too much of a wuss, that is’

What am I doing?

‘Great’, if he’s registered that I’m going there with a date, he doesn’t show it.

‘Great, see you then’, I flounce off , my face on fire, my heart thumping.

‘Uh Cora!’, he calls after me.

I turn around.

‘You’ll probably need my number, to send me the details?’

‘Oh yes’, I blush.

I walk away with my hand gripped around my racket, Ben’s number in my phone, and his eyes on my back.

This has suddenly become very real.

What have I done?

[razorblade180]

Dog days and resolutions

[Argus apartment]

Weiss:*reading on the couch, a small scar under her previous one is slightly noticeable* I got to admit, reading feels better when your hair is shoulder length.

Jaune:*polishing his gear* I’m surprised you didn’t grow it back the moment the kids got big enough to stop pulling it.

Weiss:Eh, I guess it’s grown on me. Besides, you said you like me like this.

Jaune:I like you anyway.

Weiss:*red* Shhh! I don’t need the kids hearing that.

“Mom....Dad.....?”

Weiss:*Startled* (crap) Hello S- sweety what’s wrong?

*A ten year old girl with extremely faded blonde hair and icy blue eyes stands in front of her. Her hair in a ponytail like Weiss wore it and wearing a simple white shirt tucked into a black skirt.*

Summer:*Crying* It’s Dolt; something’s wrong with him.

Jaune:*looks at Weiss*

Weiss:*staring at the floor with somber silence*.......

Jaune:*sigh* Let’s go check on him.

Weiss:Yeah.....

[Nicholas’s Room]

*A young 10 year old boy with short white hair on the side and longer on top sits on the floor with Dolt. He wears a simple white button up that’s tucked into icey blue dress pants*

Dolt:*resting his head on this lap; eyelids halfway opened*

Jaune:*Walking in* How is he?

Nicholas:He’s not eating or really doing anything. He’s just sort of...here. *petting his head* what’s wrong with him dad?

Jaune:*sits next to him* Dolt is an old dog; he’s almost 12 years old. I think.... *sigh* he’s just finally running out of steam.

Nicholas:Ohhh, can we stop it?

*Weiss and Summer in the door frame*

Jaune:.....Nicholas, you and Summer keep getting ready for school. Your mom and will deal with this.

Nicholas:*walks slowly out the room grabbing his shoes* Let’s go Summer...

Summer:Kay....*closes the door*

Weiss:*Sits next to Jaune* Should we take him to the vet again? Maybe they could-

Jaune:You know what they’re gonna say; and you know you don’t want to hear it.

Weiss:....I don’t want to say goodbye yet Jaune. I’m not.....I won’t ever be ready for it. *pets dolt* He was there the days you couldn’t be.

Jaune:I know it’s hard but...he’s hurting Weiss. That’s not a life anything should live. You know that as well as I do.

Weiss:*mulling it over* What do we tell the kids? Summer looked really upset over this.

Jaune:.....farm?

Weiss:They’re ten Jaune: also I don’t want to lie to them. It doesn’t sit well with me.

Jaune:I guess it’s settled then. *stands up* I’ll get things ready for the vet.

Weiss:Uhh Jaune, is it okay if you go alone? I don’t really want to be there when he....you know.*still petting him*

Jaune:*kisses her forehead* If that’s what you want to do. *opens the door* you explain what’s happening to the k-

*Summer and Nicholas standing there teary eyed*

Jaune:.......

Summer:He’s gonna die, isn’t he? *Wiping her eyes* Dolt isn’t gonna be our pet anymore; our friend.

Jaune:*Picks her up* Dolt may not be in this house anymore, but he’s gonna always be your friend. That’s what makes memories so special; they keep the good times close to our hearts.

Nicholas:*sits and leans on Weiss’s side* I’m gonna miss him too. *rubbing his eyes* he made waking up fun with his kisses.

Summer:Dad, can I go with you to the vet? *clenching his shirt* I want to see him off. I want to keep you company too.

Jaune:Well....I guess focusing on school work would be hard at this point anyway. What about you Nick?

Nicholas:*not even looking at them* I’m gonna stay here with mom...

[Later at the Vet]

*Monitor beeping*

Jaune:*petting dolt as he slowly goes*..... You can wait outside if you want to.

Summer:*dry throat* It’s....it’s alright. This.......is what I wanted; I’ll see it through.

Jaune:You’re very kind for wanting to be here for him. It’s not the easiest thing to do; especially at your age.

Summer:I remember him staying at my bed with you after I got hurt.

Jaune:I’m surprised you remember that at five.

Summer:He made me feel better. *tearing up* You would constantly tell stories as he cuddled me. *quivering* I thought I could......could......*sniffling*

Jaune:*hugging her* Ssssshhhh it’s okay. I’m here for you.

Summer:*crying into his chest* But I wanted to be here for you! I wanted to be strong enough but......I can’t even look at him. That beeping, it reminds me of those days.

Jaune:*rubbing her back* Summer I’m proud of you trying so hard but it’s alright that you can’t do this. I’m the one who’s supposed to be there for you and your brother. You’re both my precious twin snowflakes. One day though I know you’re gonna grow up so kind and beautiful; just like your mother.

Summer:Dad.....*sniffling* can I wait outside please?

Jaune:Of course *picking her up to go to the door and looks at Dolt again*

*soundly asleep, monitor flatlined minutes ago*

Jaune:*holding back tears* (Thanks for the memories boy; sleep tight) *leaves*

[meanwhile at the house]

*Nicholas and Weiss still on the floor*

Nicholas:I’m sorry mom....

Weiss:*puffy eyes* Sorry for what?

Nicholas:I promised you that I would be there for Summer when she needed me, but I couldn’t bring myself to go with them. Now I’m here but I can’t even make you feel better. I’m useless....

Weiss:*wraps her arms around him* Nicholas Schnee, that is the last thing you are. You being here is a enough.

Nicholas:How can you say that? When it comes to Summer I feel like a screw up. I even hurt the both of you ice skating that one time. *sobbing* Summer almost-

Weiss:It’s not your fault, no one blames you. Not for my scar or any of the ones on your sister. Bad things just happened and that’s life unfortunately.

Nicholas:Is it so much to ask to be helpful for a change? I love you guys. *hugs her tighter*

Weiss:*holds his face and wipes his tears* Do you know who you are to me Nicholas?

Nicholas:*sniff* What’s that?

Weiss:*smiles* You’re my brave little prince and I’m always gonna think the world of you. It’s okay if you stumble sometimes because I’m gonna root for you no matter what. Your father and sister will too. If Dolt was here right now he’d lick your face silly until you understand that. You haven’t broken any promise.

Nicholas:....*small smile* Thanks mom I love you.

Weiss:I love you too.

*Jaune walks into the room*

Jaune:We’re back, it’s done.

Weiss:I see...*lets go of Nicholas* I’m gonna let you get some rest. Your father and I have things we still have to do. *kisses his forehead and leaves*

Summer:*staring at him through the doorway*.......

Nicholas:What?

Summer:Your eyes are puffy.

Nicholas:So are yours...

.......

Summer:I’m tired of crying. I want to be the protector once and awhile.

Nicholas:I know what you mean. Dolt always made things better, why can’t we? If only we were-

Summer:Stronger?

......

Nicholas:You thinking what I’m thinking?

Summer:*smiles*

*both run to the living room*

Jaune:I never seen Summer so upset. From the looks of it Nicholas looked pretty frustrated himself.

Weiss:He blames himself for the dust explosion that happened on the frozen lake five years ago. *touches her scar* it pains me to think that he gets sad looking at me.

Jaune:*rubs her face* We sure are raising compassionate kids. I should count ourselves lucky they aren’t brats.

Weiss:I just hope they bounce back from this.

*both kids slide into the living room*

Jaune:Woah, where’s the fire?

Nick and Summer:Teach us!

Jaune:Uhhh what?

Summer:We’re tired of feeling frail.

Nicholas:We want to be strong like you both and make you feel better.

Summer:So teach us to be huntsman; we wanna help.

Nicholas:We’ll work really hard! I already have my semblance.

Summer:And I bet I can unlock my really soon! Until then I just focus on swordplay or handling dust like you mom.

Nicholas:You can teach me everything about aura too! I want to protect you guys like dad does.

Nick and Summer:So please teach us!

Weiss:......I guess this is them trying to bounce back. *small chuckle* Still, I think it still might be a little too soon

Jaune:Maybe but....*staring at his determined children* I don’t think saying no is an answer.

Weiss:*examining their dry tear marks and red eyes*..... (As stubborn as they come.) alright you win. We can teach them a few things; but nothing crazy.

Nick and Summer:*high fiving* Yes!

Jaune:Don’t celebrate yet; this is still gonna be tough. We’ll start tomorrow. You two get some rest.

Summer:Yes sir! *runs off*

Nicholas:You won’t regret this mom! *runs off*

Jaune:Could you have imagined how wonderful our kids would be?

Weiss:Of course, they have an amazing father after all. I just don’t want them to get discouraged or hurt.

Jaune:They’ll be fine; all that conviction comes from their talented mother. *hold her hand *

Weiss:Dolt really was the gift that kept on giving.

Jaune:Yeah, He was a really good boy.

[artificialqueens]

so in love with simple things (branjie) - holtzmanns

A late night snack excursion and running through the summer rain like nothing else matters, not really.

AN: Did I write this instead of applying for jobs like I should be doing? Yes. I regret nothing. For writ, who wanted some softness and instead got whatever this is. Thank you bean for betaing and being the best. Title from ‘Free Spirit’ by Khalid.

Vanessa’s sure that the grin on Brooke’s face, the one all spread across his features and crinkling at his eyes when he opens the door mirrors the one on his own.

“Hey,” Brooke says.

“Hey yourself.”

“What brings you here?” Brooke leans against the doorway, clad in sweats like every other single day on the road. At least he fucking bought a new pair - Vanessa had been ready to do it himself if Brooke hadn’t.

Vanessa shrugs at his question. “I’m hungry.”

He’s not that hungry. He just needs an excuse to spend time with him.

Brooke sees right through it, by the glint in his eye. Doesn’t care, apparently, as he grabs his wallet from the hotel room bedside table. Ignores the clock that reads 2:42 am.

“Snack run?”

“Now that’s what I’m talking about, bitch.”

It’s like they can read each other’s minds. Would this be considered a Nicholas Sparks movie moment? Probably not. But still. It’s nice.

Their hands brush each others’ as easy as breathing. It shouldn’t feel so natural, so simple, the way Brooke’s hand squeezes his as they cross at an empty intersection.

It’s like no time has passed at all.

Except that it has.

That’s for Vanessa to turn over in his mind another day. Not tonight, when they’re in a dingy 24-hour convenience store and grabbing stupidly sugary snacks that will definitely give both of them a headache.

Tour feels strangely easy, strangely right. Vanessa had thought that they’d be doing an intricate dance around each other the entire time, avoiding the feelings and pain and longing and fucking pining that he knows he’s been experiencing, at least.

But they’ve never been that way. Not ever.

Not after they first broke up, when they ended up back in each other’s beds after only a week. Not after their season premiered, when rare nights in hotel rooms felt like heaven. Not after the reunion, with their baggage and their hearts ripped clean open for the world to see, to comment on. Not when they sought comfort in each other, the only other person who could understand.

So, it makes sense. Touring and ending up beside each other on the bus, borrowing eyeshadow palettes and wigs and jewelry in the dressing room to wear a piece of the other. Hamming it up on stage for the screaming fans and laughing along because it’s a joke; it’s their schtick. Or so they let everyone think.

Vanessa looks at him when he thinks he’s not paying attention and sometimes he swears that he catches Brooke glimpsing his way, too.

He lets out a grunt while attempting to balance the bags in his grip as they walk back, filled with pop and chips and candy and all the shit that neither of them should be eating. Hell, they can pass it off to Silky and A’keria. It don’t matter. He looks up at Brooke, whose arms are similarly full. He’s already cracked open a Red Bull, and the bob of his Adam’s apple when he takes a sip is enough to make Vanessa want to look away.

The obnoxious neon glow of the hotel sign is visible from blocks away as they walk, a beacon that’s pulling them not only back to tour, but back to each other. It crackles under the dark sky, illuminating the street in purples and pinks as it blinks on and off, the bulbs from the 90s that sit inside close to burning out, never to be fixed again.

The only thing that shines brighter is the tendril of lightning that illuminates the sky, the crack of thunder following loud enough to make both of them jump, look at each other.

“We didn’t bring an umb-”

The rain falls hard and fast. “Shit!”

Vanessa’s yell makes Brooke cackle, grab onto his hand in response and tug on his arm, breaking into a run. Vanessa’s about to drop the bags but he doesn’t care, not when their shoes are soaked and their hair is wet and their clothes are sticking to their bodies like they just fucking rode Splash Mountain, cause it’s so much fun. It’s like he’s twelve again, when he ran home from the bus stop without the raincoat or umbrella that his ma has yelled to take with him that same morning.

Who needs protection from the rain, anyway? Not gonna kill you. Not like other things can.

He’s always loved it. Tampa’s humid as hell, the stuffiness of the air all heavy and moist but not quite refreshing. The occasional rain had always felt like a fucking cleanse back then, more so than showers ever did.

And now, as they reach the hotel in breathless laughter and shaky hands that can’t quite open the side door of the building with their keycards, he feels clean.

Brooke’s room comes before his, in the hallway. 407. His 412 lies ten steps farther, three doors down and on the other wall, facing Brooke’s. It feels ten steps too far.

Brooke pushes the key card into the door, gets the green light. Opens it. Doesn’t go in.

He turns towards Vanessa, instead, when the blast of air conditioner sends shivers through both of their bodies. Their soaked clothing now feels heavy, like cold sheets of ice that burn the skin.

“We can eat some of this stuff together?” Brooke phrases it like a question as he lifts a bag up, the tentativeness a contrast from him in the daytime. All self assured and unbothered and shit.

Vanessa feels the smile on his face. It’s obnoxious, really, the way Brooke’s strange quirks are so fucking endearing. At least, to him. No one else ever seems affected.

“Yeah sure, why not.” As if he wasn’t jumping on saying yes in the first place.

So Brooke holds the door open for Vanessa and he ducks under his arm as he enters, dropping the bags on the table. Brooke shakes out his soaking wet curls the way that Vanessa’s dog does, droplets peppering nearby surfaces. He then tugs off his shirt with complete disregard for Vanessa’s feelings, really, not noticing the way that Vanessa can’t keep his eyes from roaming along the ripple of his back muscles as he tosses the shirt on top of one of his suitcases.

Or maybe he does notice. Maybe he’s doing it on purpose.

Vanessa’s always been too weak to resist a response.

Brooke still has his sweatpants on when he turns to Vanessa, head cocked sideways just a little bit as he stands in the bathroom door. “You don’t want to stay all soaking from the rain, do you?”

“What are you playing at?” He’s gonna make Brooke spell it out. Doesn’t wanna assume shit the way he always does.

Brooke turns on the shower in response, looks at him with those stupid blue eyes as the bathroom mirror starts to steam up.

Oh, what the hell. Why not. It’s already almost three. Might as well get no sleep at all.

So he tugs off his shirt too, catches the way Brooke’s eyes linger.

Nice to know it’s not just him.

Well, he knows. But he needs the reassurance sometimes. That it’s not one sided.

From the way that Brooke tugs on his pants, his boxers, pulls him into the cramped shower, it can’t be.

Brooke dots his back with kisses in the shower, nips which will make his skin bloom into constellations by the next morning. He doesn’t have it in him right now to stop it from happening. Brooke is warm and thaws Vanessa from the inside out when he leans his head forward for a second, resting it on Vanessa’s shoulder.

Brooke tugs the shampoo bottle out of Vanessa’s hand when he goes to grab it, instead opening it himself and lathering up a bit in his hands. Vanessa can’t help but let out a noise when Brooke massages his scalp, fingers in soft circles through his hair that make him close his eyes and lean into the touch.

Vanessa grabs the bottle again when it’s his turn, building up bubbles in his hands but then Brooke is too fucking tall, he can’t reach. Skyscraper. He can’t help but pout when Brooke lets out a laugh, especially when going on his tiptoes doesn’t make him tall enough to reach the top of his hair either.

Brooke takes pity on him, leans against the wall and crouches down. Much better.

Brooke’s curls have darkened under the water, all weighed down and flopping on his forehead. Vanessa brushes them away from his eyes, watches Brooke let out a little hum as the bubbles roll down his shoulders, down his body, down the drain.

They have nights where they don’t talk, can’t talk about it. Where the only way they can get their messages across to each other is through quick fucks and bruising touches that leave ghostly imprints on their skin that they try and ignore in the morning. Those nights always leave Vanessa feeling worse off, trying to grasp at something that he feels is slipping out of his fingers, disappearing fast. He pushes extra hard during the performances that follow such nights, letting the resulting sore muscles and gasps for breath distract him, make him aware of sensations other than the one in his heart that won’t stop thinking about Brooke.

This night feels different. Maybe it’s because it’s nearly 4 am (thank fuck they don’t have a show the next day, nowhere to be, no call time) and they’re both holding back yawns while they dry off, but when they’re done and Brooke gestures to his bed, Vanessa follows.

Neither of them stay the night, most of the time. It’s easier that way, helps to separate the satisfaction of their physical needs from the cracks in their hearts that so desperately want to be fixed. But climbing into Brooke’s bed, curling into his side when an arm is wrapped around his torso feels so fucking easy, snacks long forgotten on the table. Makes him wonder why they haven’t been doing it the whole time, broken hearts be damned.

Vanessa feels the rise and fall of Brooke’s chest underneath his fingers, the way that it grows deeper with every breath. It matches his own, the synchronicity making it feel like they’re on the same wavelength, for once.

It feels right. Like where they should have been the whole time.

He’s not sure if he’s dreaming when he feels the ghost of a kiss brush against the top of his head - could be his own mind making things up, not that he’d admit how much he wants it to be real. But then Brooke’s arm around him squeezes his side gently, pulls him in closer until they’re both defrosting the icicles that have been lanced through both of their chests.

Maybe it’s the late time (fucking crack of dawn), the exhaustion from travelling between cities and not staying long enough to remember their names. But falling asleep with Brooke’s arm around him, legs slotted between his like gears that fit together perfectly makes his heart calm down, feel safe. Feel appreciated.

Feel loved.

[sam-writes]

Mistakes and Regrets

Cherry Smoke Series

Roger Taylor x Original Male Character

Word count: 1547

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3

Note: heyyy here's part 3!! I hope you enjoy! It's a bit of an awkward chapter with how its set out, I apologise for how much it jumps around.

_____________________________

Nicholas was sitting on the edge of the bed when Roger awoke. Squinting in the sunlight that was streaming in through the window, he rolled over and saw Nicholas' back to him. The rays of sunshine turned Nicholas' hair almost golden as it shone through the curly and messy locks. Nipping lightly at the inside of his cheek, he reached out and gently stroked Nick's hand, which was quickly snatched away. 

"Hey..." Roger's voice was soft and tender. Nicholas would have melted back into him under different circumstances. Instead, he kept his head lowered and clenched his jaw, trying to forget Roger was even there.

There was a long, tense silence. Nicholas' heavy breathing was the only sound filling the room.

"This was a mistake." his knuckles were white against the edge of the bed. He didn't even wait for Roger to reply. Standing quickly, he pulled on his jeans from the night before that had been discarded in their mad rush to the bed, and, grabbing his remaining clothes, he left the room. He pulled his shirt on as he walked down stairs. Many people were passed out on the floor or on the side of the room. Nick spied Damien, slumped against a wall with a girl laying heavily on his shoulder. Smiling to himself he pushed his hair out of his face and headed for the door. He could call Miranda or someone later to let them know where he'd gone.

"Nicholas, wait!"  Roger was running down the stairs, pulling his button up on with one hand and holding his pants up with his other.

Nicholas balled his fists up. Hadn't he gotten the message? Obviously not, because quickly he had rounded Nick and was standing in front of him, blocking the door from view.

"Look, I'm as keen for a one night stand as the next guy, but can we at least talk about this?" He seemed confused.

"There's nothing to talk about. This was a mistake." Nicholas snarled and pushed past Roger.

Roger was quickly hot on his heels, buckling his belt as he walked. "Hang on!" He grabbed Nicholas' shoulder and turned him towards him. "So we're just going to drop this? Go back to being enemies - rivals - and resenting each other?" He was getting upset, anger boiled, almost spilling over the brim.

Nick stood in a shocked silence for a moment, "When did we stop being enemies?"

"You do recall last night? That meant something, right?

Nicholas almost growled before managing to break past Roger and was finally heading out the door. He left Roger behind, confused and, honesty, hurt.

Eric was driving Nicholas back to his place, he had been sitting out front, having a smoke when Nicholas had left. Eric's calming demeanor was enough to cool the fires within.

Sitting in the car, they fell back into their routine comfortable silence and Nicholas gazed out the window and let his mind wander to last night. To Roger.

It was rough, but he had needed it rough. He had needed to let the rest of the world fall away; he needed to feel Roger. Feel the pain he could cause. He could still feel the bite marks in his shoulder and the lines of scratches that ran down his back. Nick had had Roger pinned to the mattress. Roger had become a whiney mess of need and lust. Nick had sucked at his jaw, and the sounds Roger had made were enough to make him need more.

For a long second he was stuck in the moment in his head, Roger beneath him and Nicholas' face buried in his neck, breathing him in. It was intoxicating, even now where there were kilometres between him and the man he was daydreaming about. The scratch of his stubble on Rogers neck. The way Roger was breathing shallow, fast and shakily, into his ear. How it burned and stung as nails were dragged down his back.

He felt worked up again and had to pull the breaks on that train of thought.

He shifted in his seat, steadying his breathing and hoped Eric hadn't noticed anything, the not so well hidden smirk on his face suggesting otherwise.

It was a long car ride.

Roger had to admit, he was hurt. He had enjoyed last night, something he hadn't expected to say, but he did. He thought Nicholas enjoyed himself as well but apparently not. Roger was getting himself another drink and watching slowly as very hungover people managed to stumble out the door.

Damien stirred and ran a hand roughly over his face. He looked around the almost empty room and spotted Roger by the bar. He groaned in frustration, this guy is everywhere.

"Hey Taylor, mind getting me a water."

Roger groaned but knew too well how the morning after felt and filled a glass with water.

Damien had stumbled over to the bar and took the water from Roger, downing the entire glass in moments.

Roger stared out the window, biting his lip and couldn't help but picture Nicholas standing across from him. What would have happened if Nicholas had stayed. Why couldn't he have stayed.

Damien was leaning against the bar top, his head was propped up in one hand and he smiled his stupid smile up at Roger. He knew something was up. Damien and Roger seemed more alike than Roger would like to admit.

"Who are you hung up over." He grinned smuggly at Roger.

Roger took a deep breath, his eyes flickering over the room, trying to find somewhere safe to land. "Your bandmate, Nick." He took a swig from his cup and pushed off of the bar and walked away, letting Damien render what he had just said.

"Oh."

When Nicholas had awoken that morning he had spent quite some time watching Roger as he slept. He was trying to make up his mind on whether or not to stay. It had been a painful decision. He liked Roger, he really did, but their bands didn't work together. It would just cause more of a rivalry. It would cause more pain. He didn't want to jeopardize his bandmates future because he wanted to hang around a bit longer with what should have just been a one night stand. The band despised Queen, for confronting them and making them have a bad reputstion as 'the band who gets in fights'. It could ruin everyone's lives. Yet, he had wanted to trace his fingers down his back, run them from freckles to freckle. He wanted to twirl a lock of his golden hair around his finger. He wanted to curl back up with him and forget the world was there. Forget that maybe they wouldn't work. Nicholas regrets not pressing his face into the back of Roger's neck and breathe in his shampoo. Wrap his arms around Rogers middle, tangle their legs together and just be.

He couldn't stop thinking about it.

"Honestly, you're worse than you were before the party what is wrong with you?" Miranda slapped Nick on the shoulder, making him jump. He was seated on the lounge and had been staring at the blank television for what seemed to be the past hour.

Eric and Damien shared a knowing smile, Damien almost breaking into a laugh.

"Boys," she stared at the pair, "I have a date. You better have sorted him out before I get back."

With the slamming of a door, she was gone. Damien and Eric were suddenly on either side of Nicholas, falling onto the lounge next to him.

Damien smiled at him and wiggled his eyebrows. "So. Roger Taylor huh."

Nicholas groaned and went to stand up but Eric's strong arm was holding him in place.

"How'd you manage to sleep with famous rock star, Roger Taylor of all the people that were at that party?" Eric's voice had a small tone of pride to it.

"I just got lucky, I guess." Nicholas' heart ached for a moment. He went quiet, slowly receding back into his zoned out, day dreaming mindset.

"Serious question, is this just a fling or is there actually something going on? Cause you seem to never stop thinking about him." Damien leant close.

Nick clenched his jaw, "I'm not sure."

"Let me rephrase that for him," Eric put a hand on Nick's chin and moved his gaze to his own and looked Nicholas in the eyes. "Do you want you and Roger to be a serious thing."

It was silent for a long time and Nicholas found himself wishing that Roger was here. To drag him away and go somewhere quiet. He didn't want to think about Roger all the time but that's what it had come to. He haunted him. Roger made him feel. It was more than he had felt before. It was painful but he craved it. Roger was his drug and he was addicted. He knew it was wrong but still he went back to him. But maybe it didn't have to be wrong. Maybe they could make it work.

Nicholas sighed, hunching over and grabbing fistfulls of his hair, he finally answered, "Yes... I do..."

________________________________

Permatag: @siriuslymooned @benhardysvoicee @onceuponadetectivedemigod @hotspacedeacon @fastidious-and-a-mess @horribly-unstable @andtheytoldustotellyouhello @writingsthegame-dylansthename @rogerandhishair @ironqueen98 @angrylizardjacket @queens-n-roses @rogerlad

Cherry Smoke Taglist:  @itsanarrum @fire-and-blood-got @bitemerog

[richrubies]

Caviar and Whiskey (Bloo x Reader)

Genre: fluff x new things

Warning: AHHHHHH

Bloo didn’t know how to handle you.

You were bright, and incredibly smart – that was evident from the amount of work you’d done whilst completing your Masters, and while the two of you were in a strange and stagnant relationship, he still didn’t know where he stood with you.

There was no doubt that there was chemistry between you – you could see it in the looks you gave one another and the way you both behaved when near each other, and though it hadn’t gone further than the occasional holding of hands and sneaky smiles, Bloo knew he was in too deep.

‘Let’s toast to my baby cousin finishing her last paper of the year!’ Nicholas cheered proudly from the head of the table, the food forgotten as everyone cheered to your success. Bloo raised his glass of Henny on the rocks, watching as you blushed, paying him no mind.

He remembered when you’d arrived in Seoul. He’d been with Nicholas when they’d collected you from the airport and he’d offered you a shy greeting. You were someone Nic had praised highly; you were the girl he’d grown up with and while not blood-related, to you and everyone else, you and Nic were family. You were someone important to Nic, and despite you also having lived in L.A. while MKIT was there, you and Bloo hadn’t managed to cross paths until the moment you’d passed through the arrival gate at Incheon.

You’d smiled so brightly at him, hugging him tight in greeting – it was hard to forget the feeling of your warmth, so much so that he often made excuses to visit the apartment you shared with Nic to the point where he’d practically moved in.

Still.

He didn’t know how to handle you.

Or more so, how to handle the fact that you were too good for him – and that wasn’t just his own belief. Owen had told him many times that you were caviar while he was canned tuna in comparison.

Glancing over at you as you happily talked with Jinyoung, he couldn’t help the flooding of emotions that hit him. He loved you. He knew he did, but the feeling was bittersweet when he felt as if he didn’t deserve you.

With that thought, Bloo threw back the rest of his drink before pouring another.

 |||

 You grunted as you helped Daniel step into the apartment you shared with Nic, your hand tightly locked with his as you led him towards the guest bedroom, ‘Why’d you drink so much, idiot?’ you ask him with a huff. His response was to pull you in closer, a drowsy smile on his lips.

After the celebratory dinner the entire group had gone to the clubs to continue the festivities – though it was to celebrate Nicholas’ win, instead. Two birds with one stone, Nicholas had called it. It was only when Daniel had begun to get too drunk that you’d called the evening quits, despite it only being one in the morning.

As soon as you reached the bed, you let Daniel flop onto the mattress much to his surprise; ‘Come on,’ you murmur, ‘You need to get out of these clothes.’

‘It’s fine,’ he tells you with a slur, ‘I can do it,’ he says, attempting to sit up but barely moving an inch before giving up.

You ignored him, shaking your head with a smile as you began unlacing his boots, ‘You’re so drunk,’

‘You’re so pretty,’ he counters tiredly.

You smiled at his compliment while slipping off his shoes, ‘You think so?’

He nodded, his eyes shut as he did so. You turned to place his boots near the door, the smile on your face seemingly permanent. Hearing rustling, you turned to find Daniel had stripped off his belt and jeans and was working on taking off his button-up with very little success.

You wished you could say you were surprised at his stripping but it wasn’t the first time you’d seen him in his briefs. You’d learned to not look down any more than necessary despite the temptation.

‘What’chu looking at?’ he asks with a smirk and half-opened eyes, his hands paused on the first button he was trying to undo.

You rolled your eyes and helped him unbutton his shirt, revealing his singlet underneath, ‘You’re not shy, huh?’

‘Not in front of you,’ he admits as he falls back into the bed after you lightly pushed him.

You didn’t know how to handle Daniel. There was more to him than you were prepared for. His alter ego terrified you – Bad Boy Bloo had an image that you found hard to keep up with and you were afraid you’d get hurt in the process of loving him. That barrier of uncertainty stopped you from pursuing more than the longing looks and touches you shared.

‘Aigoo,’ you murmur, running your hand through his hair lovingly as he lay in the bed, seemingly passed-out, ‘What do I do with you, hm?’

After placing a bottle of water and a packet of pain-killers next to his bed, you left the room, sneaking one more longing glance over your shoulder before closing the door.

 |||

 Bloo tossed and turned, unable to get comfortable despite the amount of alcohol he’d consumed – usually he could lay on top of rocks and sleep like a baby after the amount he’d had tonight; but something about being alone in the apartment with you only two doors down, now had him wide awake in realization.

The room spun as he sat up groggily, looking over at the alarm clock that read 4:07am. He’d passed out, the last thing he remembered was your hands in his hair. Groaning, he shifted so that his feet were pressed firmly to the wooden floor boards before he pushed himself off the bed and stood with determination.

It was now or never. If he didn’t go see you now, he never would.

 |||

 The light rapping on the door pulled you out of your thoughts. You couldn’t sleep with Daniel’s compliment running through your head on replay. It was funny how something so small from his lips could give you this type of feeling.

The door cracked up an inch after you failed to reply, and Daniel’s voice whispered into the room, ‘Are you awake?’

‘I am. But why are you?’ you whisper back in confusion – you were sure that he would have been knocked out until sunrise. You’d watched him down five shots of whiskey as soon as you’d entered the club. That alone should have kept him down for the night.

‘I…Can I come in?’ he asks hesitantly, the slur still noticeable in his tone, though this time less prominent.

‘Okay,’ you answer nervously, watching him approach, your eyes adjusting to the dark. Daniel crawled onto the bed until he was laying on his back beside you, a gap between you so that you weren’t touching.

‘You couldn’t sleep?’ he asks awkwardly, ‘Something on your mind?’

‘Something like that,’ you admit, closing your eyes and attempting to calm your heart. You were sure he could hear it pounding in your chest.

‘You’re caviar,’ Daniel tells you after a moment of silence, finding his courage thanks to the room being dark and you being unable to see his blushing cheeks.

‘Are you still drunk?’ you ask him, rolling to face him, a smile on your lips as you rested your cheek on the back of your hand.

‘No…Maybe,’ Daniel says quietly as he too rolled to face you. You could make out the lining of his face in the dark as he copied your position.

‘Why am I caviar?’ you ask him, your lips twitching at the comparison.

‘Because you’re special,’ he admits in a whisper that screamed volumes to you.

‘If I’m caviar, what do you think you are?’

‘Canned tuna.’

You let out a giggle, your arm reaching over to pet his shoulder in comfort, ‘You’re not canned tuna, Daniel. Why would you think that?’

Bloo focused on the way you gently tapped at his arm before answering hesitantly, ‘Because I’m not good enough to be with you…you’re on a whole other level.’

The sincerity in his voice had you pause for a moment before you continued to stroke at his arm, ‘I don’t think you’re canned tuna. I think you’re like aged whiskey. The expensive kind,’ you add.

Daniel shuffled closer to you so that you were inches apart. You stopped petting him and let your arm rest loosely near his shoulder; ‘Why?’

‘Because I’m always hesitant to drink it. I’m scared of the burn it’ll leave in my throat.’

‘The older it is, the smoother it goes down,’ he comments, confused. You had called him aged whiskey.

‘Yeah, but you only find that out after you’ve taken a sip,’ you remind him, hoping he got the hidden meaning behind your words.

You were hesitant of starting a relationship with him because of your preconceived idea of what could happen if you got too close to him, while he thought he didn’t match up to you as an individual.

‘Looks like we’re both scared,’ Daniel whispers a moment later, his hand moving to brush your cheek lightly before coming to a rest on your neck. You closed your eyes at the touch and nodded in agreement; so it seemed.

The bed shifted beneath you as Daniel moved closer so that you were pressed against one another, his thumb stroking at your jaw as he asked, ‘Can I…’

You beat him to the punch-line by moving your face closer until your lips were pressed against his, your arm tightening around him as he deepened the kiss, his tongue sliding against your lips playfully. He tasted like Hennessy and cigarettes, a combination foreign and yet so familiar to you. Daniel pulled back a moment later, pressing his lips to your forehead, cheeks and the tip of your nose before pecking your lips again, ‘You weren’t so hesitant then.’

You pressed your face into his chest while he encircled you with his arms and held you tight, ‘I don’t want to hold back anymore.’

With his lips pressed to the top of your head, Daniel agreed, ‘Me neither.’

‘I don’t think I’m too good for you,’ you say into his chest tiredly, ‘So you shouldn’t either.’

Daniel’s response was to caress the back of your head, petting at your hair, ‘And I won’t do anything to hurt you,’ he says moments later, ‘Not like all the other cheap whiskey out there.’

You smiled and let out a slight laugh before tiredly answering, ‘Sounds good to me.’

With a few more loving whispers to one another, your eyelids became heavy and your eyes shut tight whilst the smile on your lips remained. The last thing you heard before falling asleep was Daniel’s quiet promise, ‘I’ll love you even after you’ve sipped the last drop I have to offer.’

Masterlist || Requests

[disloopy]

depression & obsession pt.2

nafla, loopy

genre: angst, smut themes ??

word count: 2.1k

make out hill, where we met

we let our lips do all the talking and now i’m nothing

“hey, thanks for dropping me home.” you tell nicholas as he walks you to the front steps of the house you share with jinyoung. “sorry i was bitch eyeing you back at the club.”

nicholas chuckles, running a hand over his hair. “ah yeah... i didn’t take it personally.” you nod and smile at him, patting his shoulder. before nicholas turns around he says, “y/n, we should hang out together... you know like the old times.”

“right, we don’t do that a lot anymore,” you agree giving him a smile that seems more awkward than friendly. you’re not sure when it started becoming like this - your relationship with nicholas started to grow distant and quite uncomfortable. 

“alright, see you later.” 

you watch him go down the steps and back into his car. he barely makes it out of the driveway before running back towards him. he rolls the window down questioningly. “what the hell, y/n, you could get hurt.”

you sigh, resting your hand on top of the car’s hood to calm your beating heart. “sorry - um - do you have any idea when jinyoung will be back?” you ask hopefully, realizing the night is dark and it’s getting late.

nicholas purses his lips, shrugging. “i’m not sure. why?”

you gulp, feeling embarrassed. “i don’t like staying alone. can i come with you?” nicholas seems caught off guard and he turns to look in front of him, unsure of how to answer.

“um - i don’t think that’s-”

“please,” you say, desperation in your voice. “you know i’m scared to be alone.” he knows it too well considering how long you two have been friends for. 

nicholas finally exhales, leaning over to open the door for you. “fine.” breathing out a sigh of relief, you climb in and settle into the seat, preparing yourself for a silent car ride. probably. 

you two don’t hang out much as just friends anymore. it’s always either jinyoung or the boys. and you’re not stupid, you have a sneaking suspicion why nicholas might be acting this way. note to self, you think, daniel is not good at keeping secrets.

after reaching his house, nicholas tells you to sleep on the couch. “i’m not giving up my bed for any old person,” he teases and you stick out your tongue at him. but then everything goes silent again. 

jinyoung will text me when he gets home, you think, crashing down on the couch and checking to see if he’s called you all night which, to your disappointment, he hasn’t.

as it gets later, nicholas comes down and asks if you want to sleep in his bed. “i’ll sleep on the couch until jinyoung comes - that’s fine.”

“what happened to not giving up your room?” you ask teasingly and he grins shyly. “you’re a big baby... but no thanks, i’m sure he’ll call soon so i’ll stay down here.”

nicholas nods. “hmm alright. you should tell him you’re here or something.”

“um...yeah, i’ll do that.” but when nicholas leaves you decide not to. you don’t want to give him the wrong idea. you open your phone, considering texting him your whereabouts when it suddenly dings with a message from him.

loopy boy: i won’t be home tonight

loopy boy: sorry :(

you feel suddenly angry but push all that emotion down, telling yourself its alright as you throw your phone on the couch without bothering to reply to him. if you had a dollar for every time he said he won’t be home you’d be rich enough to buy plane tickets back to america.

but you don’t want to leave him. as much as it hurts you to stay with someone who barely gives you any attention, you’d rather not be alone. that’s probably one of your worst fears. 

maybe you’re not spending your ideal amount of time with jinyoung but you can forgive his faults of course. he’s leading and managing a whole music group and what’s a relationship without sacrifices?

but why are you always getting the short end of the stick?

nicholas finds himself tossing and turning in bed that night, unable to fall asleep. how can he when you’re downstairs, alone on the couch when you should be at home next to your boyfriend.

he wonders why jinyoung even asked you out when he knew he’d never have enough time to be with you. his selfish desires are really only hurting the relationship.

fuck what am i thinking, nicholas shakes his head, cursing himself. this isn’t his relationship to talk about. he thinks about you. shit, i should’ve given her a blanket or something. but it would be too weird to go down now and ask you if you need one. 

every time he tries to shut the thought of you out, it keeps returning to haunt him and it’s surprising that he even got any sleep that night.

nicholas wakes up the next morning with a text from his hyung. “be at the studio at 12pm.” another busy schedule, he thinks before deciding to get dressed and go downstairs, expecting a note from you saying you’d left that night.

but all he finds is you sprawled across his couch, your shirt riding up your bare thighs and jinyoung’s jacket - which you used as a blanket - slipping off your body (a/n sksks fuck this is so corny pls stop me).

he considers pretending he never saw you but realizes that would probably be worse so he gently shakes you awake. you groggily sit up, rubbing your eyes and covering yourself with jinyoung’s jacket. 

nicholas can’t help but think of how cute you look with your puffy cheeks and baggy eyes. you look around, slightly confused for a second then say, “i’m still here?”

“you’re still here,” nicholas chuckles, resting his palms on his knees. “did jinyoung forget to pick you up?”

you sigh, a disappointed look shadowing your face. “well... i had a dream he took me home but... he texted me last night saying he wouldn’t be home.” nicholas bites the inside of his cheek, anger building up at his friend. couldn’t he just tell her that in the first place?

“i don’t really have anything here so i guess you’ll have to settle for cereal,” he tells you, walking back to the kitchen. 

when nicholas leaves, you feel tears springing to your eyes. is that all you are to jinyoung? five letters and a sad face emoticon? does he really have no idea that his constant absences are taking a toll on the relationship - or specifically, you.

you wipe away stray tears and put your pants back on, deciding to join nicholas in the kitchen. “i fixed you a bowl,” nicholas says with his mouth full. “sorry if you don’t like corn flakes.”

“i don’t care,” you tell him bluntly and plop down on the chair, stuffing a spoonful into your mouth.

“uhhh are you ok?”

“do i look fucking ok?” you snap, tears welling up in your eyes again. you blink them back, calming yourself down. “i’m sorry that’s so rude of me. especially since you gave me a place to stay for the night.”

nicholas nods slowly. “it’s basic human decency. hyung wouldn’t know much about it,” he jokes, trying to make you laugh. you do, slightly, and continue on with your breakfast.

after the both of you are done eating, you go to the bathroom to wash up and in your moment of absence, nicholas stares at your vacant spot on the couch and then considers texting jinyoung and telling him you were at his house all night.

no, that doesn’t sound right. how do you tell your best friend his girlfriend spent the night with you? he sighs, leaning back with thoughts running through his head.

when you’re not back for more than 30 minutes, nicholas knocks on the door of the bathroom, prompting you to come out. “are you alright?” he’s quick to notice the tear stains on your cheeks.

“i’m fine. just lady issues.”

“really? boys get constipated too you know,” he teases, earning light laughter from you.

“it’s weird that we never chill like this any more, nic,” you say, plopping down on the couch. he loves that nickname but he loves it more when you’re saying it.

nicholas shrugs. “i mean, isn’t it weird to chill alone with your friend’s girl?” you nod in agreement, a smirk creeping on your face. he knows that expression only means you’re thinking of something.

“isn’t weirder to have feelings for your friend’s girl?”

“uh - wha- i mean -” nicholas is at a loss for words. how could he be so stupid? of course you’d know. never fucking trust daniel with anything, he reminds himself.

“why wouldn’t you tell me?” you demand, locking eyes with him.

“why the fuck do you think, y/n? you’re dating my best friend.”

you let out a deep breath. “we’re friends too, ok? you should have told me, we’d sort it out.”

nicholas hangs his head, feeling truly mortified at the situation. "okayyy, i don't want to fucking talk about this."

"well, i do and if i want to talk about it then we're going to fucking talk about it." you tell him. he chews on his lower. you're too damn stubborn.

nicholas doesn't say anything and then you speak again. "and you have a boner right now. tell me what that's about."

heat rises to nicholas's cheeks as he moves his hands away from his eyes just to see. leave it to my body to betray me at times like these. "oh my god," he groans, grabbing a pillow to cover himself with. "fuck... i'm so sorry..."

your tone softens, seeing him in such distress. "don't be embarrassed. it's ok." you stand up and walk over to him, placing your knees on either side of him and settling yourself in his lap.

"wha-"

"shh," you whisper, placing a finger over his lips to shush him. nicholas can't find it in himself to tell you he doesn't want this because he does want it. "let me help you." you press your lips to his and everything else is a blur.

                                                                                                               ***

"fuck!"

"you seriously have enough energy for a third round?" you giggle where you lie across his chest. nicholas quickly scrambles to his feet, grabbing his phone to check the time. it's 2pm. you stare at him with wide worried eyes. "are you ok?"

"i - um - i have somewhere to be this morning," he explains, wanting to slap himself for being so careless.

"oh..." you say, disappointed evident in your voice. nicholas doesn't want to leave you all alone again but he has no choice at this point.

"um... i need my shirt back," he tells you and you nod, slipping it off and handing it back to him. "you can get an uber home, right?"

"yeah of course... don't worry about me."

nicholas runs out of the house and into his car, realizing his ringer was off and he's had many missed calls from the boys. as he drives to the studio he tries to come up with excuses as to why he's so late but when he gets there, it happens so fast he forgets everything.

"dude, where the hell were you?!" owen demands, pulling nicholas into the studio. nicholas scratches the back of his head, searching for an answer.

"i uh lost track of time."

"lost track of time?" jinyoung repeats, an annoyed expression on his tired face. "you were supposed to be here two hours ago!" the sight of jinyoung just causes guilt to build up in the pit of nicholas's stomach. he knew deep down inside that you were just using him because you needed someone and he knew it was wrong. but then why did it feel so right?

"just get the hell inside the recording room," says jinyoung, pushing nicholas in. "we've already done our parts for the tour remixes."

nicholas can't think straight in there. all he can think about is hating himself for what he did to you and jinyoung even though it was your fault as well he didn't know how he was going to live with himself after this.

so he knew just the thing to do. when the recording was done, he stepped out of the room to see the other boys satisfied faces.

"ok at least now we can rest before our flight in a couple days," says jinyoung, slightly relieved with a hint of irritation.

"hyung, can i talk to you?" nicholas asks quietly. jinyoung crosses his arms over his chest.

"yeah, what is it?"

"um... in private?"

he exhales. "nicholas, we don't have time for that. just tell me what it is."

"it's about y/n."

[shinydixon]

You are mine - Nick Jakoby x Reader [BRIGHT] (Request)

Anon: Yooo, can you please do a jealous Nick jakoby x reader? I have a bunch of a ideas but most of them are just of Pollard flirting with the reader and harassing Nick to the point he wonders if he's the best boyfriend for his human girlfriend so she shows him how much she loves him?

I hope you like it ♥

Note: Since there are people that doesn’t want to read smut, the story continue under the cut. I’m not that good on writing smut...but at least I’ve tried lol.

WARNING: SMUT (which means sex in the police car )

ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE SO, SORRY FOR EVENTUAL MISTAKES

After a very long morning passed around the city, patroling the crowded streets of Los Angeles, break time has finally arrived.

Usually, Nick and his partner, Daryl Ward, would stop at a random cafè, drinking some coffee or eating a sandwich (or, in Nick’s case, some salad or fruit).

However, today they both headed to the police department.

Daryl had to catch up with some paperwork, while Nick had a more pleasant reason to spend his break at the station: his girlfriend.

Nick had started dating you  six months ago.

You were a new cop and he helped you familiarizing with your new work place.

Since the first time you saw each other you felt a strong attracion, so you didn’t think about it twice when you asked him out for dinner.

He was a real gentleman with you.

He waited your second date to give you a kiss, not before asking you if you were okay with that, and, the first time you made love to each other was so romantic and gentle, that, for the first time of your life, you felt sad thinking about separating for work the next morning.

Of course, everybody knows about the two of you, especially a certain someone that didn’t agree on a beautiful girl like you dating an orc.

Hell, he was against interracial relationships, seeing orcs as inferiors.

That’s the reason why officer Pollard would always try to flirt with you in front of Nick.

He wanted to hurt him and he also wanted you.

When Nick finally reach his destination, he saw you in front of the coffee machine, waiting patiently for your beverage to be ready.

Seeing your uniform hugging perfectly your forms, made him feeling very hot.

You were beautiful despite what you wear, but you dressed with your cop uniform and your (h/c) hair tied up into a bun exposing your soft neck for him to bite and ravish, was something that always turns him on.

Creeping up behind you, he suddenly grab your hips with his big hands screaming:

“You’re under arrest!”

Squealing you turned around, ready to smack the living shit out of whoever decided to give you an heart attack,but when your (e/c) eyes met yellow ones, you suddenly stop your hand.

“Nick, you scared me!”

Laughing, he buried his face onto your neck, giving you a soft kiss there.

Once you calmed down, you brought both of your hands on his chest, feeling his broad chest under his uniform.

“For what I’m being arrested officer?”

“You being illegal in this uniform”

With that said, Nick leaned down towards you, giving you a sweet kiss on your lips.

You were so happy to finally feel him after spending the whole morning with your partner, who was a really ill-tempered old man.

“I wish I had a bucket so I can puke”

You separated from each other when Pollard’s comment reached your ears.

You noticed Nick looking down, he never answer back when he’s being insulted because he knows that if he gets in trouble, he could be kicked out from the police.

“Oh why Pollard? I don’t see any mirror here”

You answered, grinning at him.

Scoffing, Pollard shoved Nick away and walked  toward you, until your back hit the coffee machine.

“Feisty huh? I like it”

Pollard’s hands find their way on your hips and on your cheeks.

“A pretty thing like you deserved better, look at your boyfriend, he’s here, and he’s letting me touch you like this without doing nothing...he’s not the real man you deserve”

Moving your gaze toward Nick, you noticed how he was gritting his teeth and flared his nostrils.

His hands were closed into a fist, but both of you knows that he couldn’t do anything or he will get the blame.

Remembering the reason you were there, you smiled at Pollard while you reach behind  you for your cup of coffee.

Seeing your smile, Pollard turned toward Nick, grinning: “See? Your girlfriend finally understand”

However, when he turned to you again, he was meet by hot coffee spilling on his face and under his neck.

Pollard let out a loud scream, covering his eyes and cheeks.

“You little bitch!”

When he charged toward you, Nick suddenly appeared in front of you, one hand on your waist, trying to hide you besides him, the other on Pollard neck: “You just try to touch her and you’ll feel a pain worse than a hot coffee on your skin”.

Before Pollard could say something, Ward followed by two other officers came to see what all the commotion was about.

Nick explained that you accidentally slipped and your coffee ended up on Pollard.

Pollard wasn’t brave enough to say anything, seeing how Nick was staring at him.

When you were finally alone, you walk toward your boyfriend, enveloping him into a tight embrace.

“I can’t believe it you were going to hit Pollard and risk your career”

Kissing the top of your head, Nick stared down at you.

“He was right you know? I’m not a good boyfriend, I can’t do anything to stop him from pestering you again or touch you like that, because i’m too scared about losing my job...it shouldn’t be like that...you should be at the first place”

You couldn’t believe at what you were hearing.

It’s true, he didn’t intervene at first, but then, he was ready to beat Pollard up for good. 

You didn’t want him feeling bad for that, you knew he loves you and you knew how much being a cop means to him.

Taking Nick by one of his hand, you started walked toward the garage.

It didn’t matter that Nick was asking where were you taking him, you kept going without speaking a word.

Once inside the garage, you reach your car, you opened the passenger sit’s door, and with all your strenght you pushed Nick inside.

Closing the door, you straddled his muscolar thighs.

“(Y/n)...what are you doing?” Smiling down at him, you took out your handcuffs from your belt.

“Nicholas Jakoby, you’re under arrest”

Before he could protest, you moved your hips against his, making him moan.

You took both of his wrists, handcuffing them on the door’s handle.

Knowing you didn’t have much time before you both had to be back at work, you unzipped his pants, taking out his full lenght.

“I’ll show you how much I love you baby”

You quickly get rid of your pants and panties, before moving your wet folds up and down Nick’s lenght.

“Can you feel how much you turned me on before?”

You both let out a loud moan, he was trying to move his hips against you, he needed to be inside of you.

You didn’t want to made him wait, so,you positioned his lenght before sinking down on it, taking it inch by inch.

You both moaned while you moved up and down on him.

You could tell he wanted to touch you, he was trying to free himself while letting out deep growls.

An evil grin appeared on your face.

Unbuttoned  your uniform shirt, you shows Nick that you weren’t wearing a bra.

Watching your breast going up and down with your movements were enough to make him come.

He let out some words in orcish, you didn’t know the meaning, but you could tell that they were obscenities, and, that was enough for triggering your own relase.

You kept riding him until you land flat against his chest.

Taking the keys from your discarded pants, you finally free Nick wrists.

In no time you find yourself under him, he kissed you slowly and passionately, while he sweetly caressed your cheeks and neck.

“(Y/n) you have no idea how much I love you”

Staring up at him, you caressed his face gently.

“I love you too baby”

You both knew that you had to get out of that car and go back to work, however, you decided that the world outside could wait a little longer because, right now, you needed each other.