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#why is he the funniest man alive
iinryer · 12 days
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i’ve kicked so much ass, whitney. it’s time to just be a tender, vulnerable guy.
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to-be-a-dreamer · 7 months
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I will never not find it hilarious that one of Kaz's main skills is close-up magic like I know it's because it's good for pickpocketing and it shows how he always wants to know how things work so. Logically it makes sense for the character but it still makes me giggly and does not help him beat the "most dramatic bitch in Kerch" allegations. Funniest character detail in the history of ever please never make him stop
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omegalomania · 1 year
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currently experiencing Indescribable emotions from that fucking 3 minute interview.....primarily from patricks sheer fucking elation in answering the question about opening the show. he BOUNCES on the balls of his feet with excitement as he tells us that he LOVES to open shows because they get to leave right away immediately after. hes so excited hes like well let me tell you i LOVE to go HOME.
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l8tof1 · 1 year
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lewis 😭😂😂
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betchiwilleatyou · 4 months
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he's so me
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justisco · 2 years
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the potential this has
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balaclavacharles · 2 years
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@charles I know you're here, show yourself
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gingerbreadmonsters · 5 months
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gahhhh. im sure it doesn't sound like it most of the time, but wow my degree is so cool and fun 🥰🥰
#yes it is painful sometimes and yes it is lots of hard work and frustration#but like....... isnt it so cool to find out why the world became the way it is#how people in the past were like us and also so totally different#through the right lens human history is both the ultimate tragedy of a self-obsessed power hungry cannibalistic species#and also the greatest funniest soap opera of all time#stories upon stories#i will be very honest with u i was kind of scared when i started that i had chosen the wrong degree#what if its not as fun at uni as it was at school - what if its actually way too difficult and i end up hating it#but ykw?? im so glad i chose this#(for those who may not know i am a history student)#idk man i just wish more people knew how cool and funny history is sometimes#plus the sorts of ways this degree encourages u to think are VERY useful (esp nowadays)#'always question everything' is the motto and wow it is very enlightening to live like this#where has this info come from - can i trust them? why are they telling me this? what do they want? is it even true? how do they know this?#does this info fit with what i already know? why? what do other people say abt this? does this imply something about the wider context here#look me in the eye and tell me thats not the most important ingredient for being online nowadays#(except for block and move on. that one is supreme we all know that)#if u are not so into history i would encourage u to have a little look at some of the cool stories that are there i think u will like them#one of the funny (and very gory) ones that i would recommend is the life and especially death of maximilian robespierre#he was alive during the french revolution in the late 1700s and the way he dies is fucking hilarious when u know whats going on#i have actually talked abt this a lot on discord bc i think its funny - much to the annoyance of everyone else in the server lol#another one from that time is napoleon's coup and the removal to saint-cloud#the power struggles of the GMD and CCP in china in the early-mid 20th century are also v interesting if u like that sort of thing#this has all come about bc i was reading an account today of the marriage of alfonso vi of leon and castile and princess zaida of seville#and wow i have a lot of thoughts about it#theres no way to tell if they were really in love or not and if so how much#but idk something about it is very sweet and very sad to me#she the daughter in law of the muslim king of seville and supposedly falls in love with the christian king alfonso - she converts#to christianity so she can marry him but they are only together for a short time - she dies a few years later in 1093 giving birth to their#son sancho alfonsez (who is killed in 1108 at age 15) and she's buried at alfonso's favourite church (technically an abbey but ykwim)
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mishwanders · 2 years
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I had to rewatch Code Veronica gameplay for the next few Molded by Flames chapters I’m working on and that game feels like a fever dream. This is the only way I can describe my favorite parts of it.
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bunny584 · 3 months
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OBSESSED: SHOKO (feat. The Boys)
A/N: This took an entirely different route than I expected when I first started dribbling it. This was a fun one 🤭
C/W: Cuckholding, Mature, 18+
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Fact: You are the hottest woman alive.
Fact: Shoko is no better than a man.
Shoko is no better than a man because she has used you — your pictures, your smile, your tight hugs — as her personal spank bank.
Truthfully, she can’t really pinpoint the moment you broke her brain.
All she remembers is that there was an inflection point in time. Before meeting you. And after meeting you.
And the funniest part of it all is that you two have nothing in common.
Shoko is a sorcerer at Jujutsu Tech. You are a normie at University of Tokyo.
Shoko can count on one hand how many people she can tolerate. People flock to you in droves. And you like it.
Shoko is red wine and cigarettes. You are champagne and birthday cake.
So how the hell did a bubble gum, pretty pink, girly girl, princess work her way into Shoko’s life? And take permanent residence in a little (extremely large) part of her brain?
Not to mention the havoc you are wreaking in her heart. Whatever is left of the cold, shriveled plumbing system keeping her alive.
When was it exactly?
Shoko lights another cigarette on her short 2 mile walk home. You have a habit of making her burn through her vices.
Was it the night you went out dancing?
When the dress you wore made Shoko see God?
You grinded every part of your mind-altering curves on her, and Shoko left sopping wet. At home she immediately reached for her vibrator. Unable to look herself in the eye for a full day after that.
Or maybe it was the time you fell asleep curled up in her lap. Wearing one of her old ratty softball shirts, smelling like her shampoo. Small, rhythmic breaths flowing from your lips.
You looked like the missing puzzle piece in Shoko’s life.
No, no.
It’s definitely was the time you came barreling into her apartment with balloons and flowers and cupcakes that were too sweet. All because Shoko had finally mastered her reversed curse technique before the prodigal sons.
You can barely even grasp the concept of curses. And why would you?
A soft, gentle soul like you couldn’t muster enough negativity to form a curse.
You live in the clouds. Among the angels. You can’t see curses and yet — somehow —you’re the most supernatural person in any room.
She’s completely, fully, idiotically smitten with you.
And so is everybody else.
You pretty, unaware little thing. You have the two strongest sorcerers at Jujutsu Tech and their personal medic wrapped around your dainty fingers and you have no idea.
Suguru? He stares. Vision sharper than a hawk. He watches you talk, eat, walk, text, think. Suguru anticipates your next breath and would kiss oxygen into your mouth if he could. Even still, despite how taken he is, Suguru is the best at concealing his puppy love.
Satoru is the absolute worst.
Limitless goes off the second you step into a room. And Satoru rarely clicks off his technique otherwise. Even when it’s just Shoko or Suguru around.
He all but chains you to his body. He’s always lifting you, hugging you, carrying you, holding your hand, holding your hair. Satoru would crawl inside of your body and live there, if he could.
Then there’s Shoko.
Who seethes when anyone looks your way. But also masturbates to the thought of other people touching you.
A fucking mess of a conundrum, right?
The first time it happened was about 8 months ago. Definitely one too many glasses of Cabernet were poured. You two were gabbing on the phone. Exchanging the best and worst sex you’ve had to date.
And you. In that melodic, breathy, gossamer thin voice of yours that belongs in Heaven’s choir started saying the dirtiest things. About how cock-drunk you were. How you begged and pleaded for more. Swallowed cum like it was your only sustenance. And squirted all over your lover, only to kiss it off his face after.
Shoko touched herself until she came right then and there. On the phone. You unknowingly talking her through her one of the most satisfying orgasms of her life.
Since then it’s been a horrible habit she’s given into time and time again.
And who’s to say? Maybe it’s from constantly being in the shadows of Suguru’s Sun and Satoru’s Moon that there’s comfort in watching from the side lines?
Maybe she’s found the sweet pleasure in that pain and it’s manifested as her lust for others having their way with you? And her blind infatuation with you?
No, wait.
Not blind.
With you it’s like she has the Six Eyes. And with you, so does everyone else.
Shoko drags in a long, exasperated breath. Pausing just outside her apartment entrance, stomping out the last of her menthol.
If the time she spent mulling over you in her mind could be converted caloric energy - she’d be a supermodel by now.
Whatever.
Today’s the best day of the week. Friday.
Which means when Shoko opens her door, you’re going to be fussing about the kitchen. Cooking some kind of dessert for Movie Night.
The Boys usually trip over themselves getting to Shoko’s apartment after classes. But there’s always an idyllic 15 minutes where Shoko has you all to herself.
15 minutes in Heaven. Like she’s a damn middle school girl.
Shoko opens her door and nearly flatlines.
You’re evil.
An evil, mean, cruel tease.
You KNOW anyone with eyes would have a stroke at the site of you.
Fully bent over at the waist, rummaging through pots and pans. Not a single blemish on your silky smooth skin. Your lilac boy shorts could not BE any tighter. And of course, they’re just short enough to not cover the plump shelf of your lower ass cheeks.
Shoko’s hands start twitching. Like she’s going through withdrawal.
You pop back up with a triumphant “there it is!” An empty small pot in your hands. And Shoko thinks she’ll have to add a heart attack to her growing list of ailments.
Your matching lilac tank top is egregiously and deliciously small. The sliver of tummy between the hem of the top and waist of your shorts could bring civilizations to collapse.
Not to mention that the apartment is cold. And your nipples are so painfully responsive.
Sin.
You are sin.
Wrapped in the most beautiful frame of a woman.
“Babe!! You’re already home. I let myself in because the icing for these cupcakes takes forever to get right.”
You flash your Colgate smile, ensnaring Shoko in your trap.
“You’re going to give Satoru and Suguru a heart attack.” Her, you’re going to give her a heart attack.
“Hmm? Why do you say that?” So non-chalant. So oblivious.
Shoko gestures to your outfit. Attempting to mirror your nonchalance. But, ironically, she can feel her face tumbling down the descending shades of red.
Genuine confusion weaves though your features and she almost screams.
“Shoko please. You know they don’t see me that way!”
Everyone, gorgeous. EVERYONE. Sees you that way.
Before she could edge another word out, the familiar hum of Limitless buzzing inward splits Shoko’s thoughts in half.
Dammit, they’re early.
“Daddy’s Home!”
Satoru charges straight at you because of course he would.
“Satoru!!!” You’re a plaything in his arms. Legs tightening around his waist.
Shoko would pay an inordinate amount of money to trade places with him.
She watches through an envy-green screen. How easily Satoru spins you and tosses you on the kitchen counter. Situating himself between your soft thighs.
How would your body bounce against his hips thrusting into you?
“You have to taste this, pretty boy.”
Tsk. He’s not THAT pretty.
Both Shoko and Suguru watch through parted lips as you shove half a cupcake into Satoru’s mouth. Neither of you miss how his tongue flicks between your fingers. Or how his hips lean closer to your barely clothed flower.
He lets out an exaggerated groan. “Fucking, perfect. I could eat your cupcake..all night.”
“You perv.”
You laugh and shove Satoru back from between your legs. Then turn in Shoko’s direction.
Silently curving your index finger forward, you beckon. Both Shoko and Suguru start toward you like well-trained, love-struck pets.
“No pouting Suguru, you’re pretty too. And up next.”
And Shoko’s shoulders sink like the child who is picked last for dodge ball teams.
Her eyes trail Suguru’s back - wishing to every God she was born with a technique allowing her to take over a host’s body.
“Me next.” He settles between your legs.
Suguru, the master of subtlety. Everyone but you can pick up on the strain in his baritone.
There’s something so painfully sensual about the way he grips both of your thighs. Your skin is so smooth, so pliant under his large hands. Waiting on your fingers to invade his mouth.
How pretty would your lips look like wrapped around his fingers? Do your cheeks hollow out when you suck on something larger?
Shoko crosses her right foot over the left. As if jamming her thighs together would stop the growing pool of lust between her legs.
“Alright babe, best for last. I have something for you too.”
Suguru takes his time pulling away from the warmth of your core. And Shoko has to strap her mind to her body to keep from sprinting at you.
Eventually, she nestles between your legs and is at eye level with your pert nipples. Immediately caught in a trance. So close to her mouth.
“Blushing so much!” Your thumb pulls Shoko’s focus back to earth.
Blushing so much because she wants to watch her best friends fuck you. Then lick your cunt clean after they’re done.
“I’m not, what’s my surprise?”
“So demanding.” You giggle. Your palm takes away Shoko’s view of your perky, hard nipples.
“Open.”
Shoko’s jaw hangs at your command. Cold glass hits her lips before the full bodied, decadent Cabernet does.
Red wine. Because she hates sweets.
You’re as thoughtful as you are beautiful and everything you do is a turn on.
“Mmmm,” Shoko hums and you gift her vision back.
“Amazing, right?” You take your own sip, maintaining eye contact.
Shoko’s eyes fall to your lips. And how you roll the wine over your tongue. Savoring each drop.
How would your tongue feel rolling around her mouth? Her neck? Her nipple? What kind of sounds would you make if her tongue rolled around your petals? Your clit? What do you taste—
“Movie time?” You break Satoru, Suguru and Shoko’s daze.
All three of them scramble around you. Grabbing your cupcakes, snacks and wine to settle in on Shoko’s huge sectional couch.
You drape your body over Satoru and Suguru’s lap. A little loose limbed kitten. Shoko situates herself on the long arm of her chair.
Far enough to drown into her own spiral. Close enough to register everything you do in the the most permanent part of her mind.
You nuzzle your cheek into Suguru’s thigh. His forearm immediately drops in front of his crotch. Undoubtedly to avoid spearing you with his manhood.
“Play with my hair, Suguru?”
“Yes. Of course.”
His free hand weaves into your hair. The soft, decadent moan you exhale sent visible shudders down their spines.
Shoko’s eyes laser to Satoru’s hands. His eyes haven’t touched the screen since the movie began. His grasp encompasses your entire back thighs. Slowly gliding them up to the delicate mounds of your ass.
“God that feels amazing.”
Satoru’s Adams Apple drags along the column of his throat. “Yeah?”
“So good.”
You deepen the arch in your back and the physical restraint Satoru imposes on himself is visible.
The only person watching the movie is you.
And the room tilts on its axis the moment you melt deeper into the boys’ hands. Their names, quiet praise, seep from your lips.
Satoru and Suguru exchange hooded gazes.
As if to commiserate about how fucking hot you are. And how it’s taking active awareness of every single muscle to not do vulgar things to you.
Not even a backward glance Shoko’s way.
Again.
Leaving Shoko out of the conversation. Again.
She angrily tosses a blanket over her lap. Frustration bubbling up her throat. Her fingers clumsily fumble with her zipper. She’s pissed. Angry. Fucking jealous.
And so turned on she might crawl out of her skin if she doesn’t touch herself this goddamn second.
Shoko’s fingers are ice cold against her warm, wet clit. It’s agonizing. How incredible the pressure feels.
You look delicious. So small between their laps. Far too tiny to handle them both.
But God it would be so hot.
It would be so fucking hot. To watch you choke all over Suguru’s cock. Slobber into his lap. All while Satoru bullies his length into your soft, dewy pussy. Helpless. Overstimulated.
Getting used like the pretty Barbie doll you are.
And the way they touch you, so brazenly, in front of her.
Like Shoko’s presence isn’t even remotely threatening. She isn’t any competition for their big hands and broad shoulders. Masculine frames. That’s why she’s just sitting there. Pathetic. Rubbing herself dumb just watching.
She would be so happy, so fucking eager to lap you clean. Pet your swollen, abused folds when they’re done with you. Hump a pillow while she sucks your nipples. You’d moan and whine and squirm under her touch.
Would you beg? Or laugh at how pitiful she is? Getting off to remnants of you when the Boys have had their way?
Shoko accidentally choking on her own drool draws almost everyone’s attention to her. The hand that was molesting her sensitive bud freezes.
Suguru’s eyes flicker back down to you, sleeping beauty.
Their coordinated touch lulled you to bed. Satoru’s eyes linger on Shoko long enough to make her simmer under his gaze. She blinks back to the movie, credits now scrolling up the screen.
How long was Shoko day dreaming?
“Let’s get her to bed.” Suguru gently pulls you onto his chest. You sleepily drape your arms around his neck.
Satoru follows close behind him into Shoko’s room. Because putting the smallest little kitten to bed is a two person job.
Shoko scrambles to zip up her pants and swipe the last of her arousal on the blanket. She gets to the doorway and watches the Boys dote over you in a way that makes them slightly more endearing.
You wake up long enough to murmur goodnight. Floating your arms in the air so the boys can bring their hugs to you. Both of them place quick pecks on your forehead. Leaving you with the cutest, most content smile on your sleepy face.
At least Suguru can hold it together. He weaves out of Shoko’s room quickly.
Satoru, however, keeps stopping along the 10 foot pace to the doorway to just stare. As if a monster from your nightmares will pop up the second he leaves you alone.
Shoko snorts, arms crossing her chest. “Put it back in your pants, yes?”
“Look who is talking.” Sly grin pulls across Satoru’s perfect, blinding teeth. Shoko could punch him right now.
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“Ieiri. I have the fucking six eyes. What do you think I’m talking about.”
Satoru wires around Shoko’s stunned body.
He and Suguru are out of her apartment before she can bat her eyelashes 5 times.
Shoko all but sprints to the kitchen. She gulps the rest of her red wine. Something. Anything to burn Satoru’s comment out of her mind. And to put out the desperate flame between her legs.
You’re in her bed.
She’s just been masturbating watching her two best friends touch you.
One of her best friends is FULLY aware of this all.
Her hands shakenly pour another, head sized glass of Cabernet. Which is doing absolutely nothing for how lusty she feels right now. And everything to destroy her self control.
Why does she have to sit on the sidelines?
Why do they get access to you that she doesn’t?
She downs the last few drops of red wine. Storming back to her room. She’s going to confront this once and for all.
You’re strewn over her bed like a silk scarf. Rolling, tender hills of flesh. Valleys of feminine curves. Shoko grips both of your dainty wrists. Tossing you onto your back.
Sleepy groans bubble out of you. Your eyes lazily slide open. Not an ounce of concern on your face. Full of trust. Even though Shoko is glaring down at you like she wants to crawl in your skin.
“Bad dream?”
“No.” Shoko is kurt. Angry. Jealous.
“What is it?”
“I just…” Moonlight is kissing your face in the way Shoko wants to.
“T-The boys,” Your eyes flutter expectantly. Nose crinkling in fuzzy confusion.
“The-the boys always get to touch you. And pick you up. And tuck you in. And kiss you. And-and I-im just…”
“Do you want to kiss me?”
Shoko hears her heart stop beating.
What did you just ask? So casually. As if you didn’t just catapult her into another dimension.
“H-huh? What?” Shoko didn’t hear you right.
There’s no way.
“I asked if you want to kiss me.” Something other than innocence lines your voice. And it pets Shoko’s flame
“I—I uh. M-. Yes.”
“So kiss me.”
Only one second of shocked hesitation passes before Shoko crashes her lips into yours.
Of course your lips taste like this. Marshmallow soft. Cotton candy sweet. Mini explosions of pleasure surge in all directions of her body.
“God,” Shoko groans, bringing the back of your head impossibly closer to her.
Melting into the soft hills and rolls of your sweet tongue. Shoko whines into your mouth like the desperate puppy she is. She’s drunk. Intoxicated. And it has nothing to do with the wine.
Do you know that?
Have you always known?
How does anyone ever make it out of their embrace with you with their wits about them?
“Baby,” you sigh into Shoko’s swollen lips.
Her hands tremble against your waist. Twitching to explore. Dying to map every inch of your body.
She lets out little, staccato moans of protest when you pull away.
“Feel better?”
Your starry eyes sparkle between Shoko’s. Sleepy, pretty smile playing on your puffy lips.
Shoko nods wordlessly. You’ve already stolen her logic and her heart. Might as well add her voice to the list.
You place a chaste kiss on Shoko’s lips before cocooning underneath the sheets.
Like you didn’t just make her fall in love.
“Goodnight, baby.”
PART. II
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starkwlkr · 11 months
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annoying little brothers | f1
female driver x f1 drivers (platonic) (same age as daniel so 33)
part 2 part 3
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Y/N L/N BEING THE FUNNIEST DRIVER ON THE GRID
The video starts of with a press conference from the United States Grand Prix. Y/n was seated with Charles, Pierre, Daniel and Sebastian her being in the middle of all the men who she considered her brothers.
She was listening to all the questions the men were receiving from how they thought they were going to do, how’s the team doing, etc. But when a reported finally asked her a question, she completely blanked.
“Sorry, I was just thinking about my son. We were supposed to get breakfast together and he hasn’t texted me back. I haven’t seen Lando all day.” Y/‘ said making the drivers and reporters laugh.
“When did you adopt Lando? I wasn’t aware.” Daniel played along.
“2019. He was actually lost when I met him. It was during the Australian Grand Prix, his first f1 race. I found him and we did the Melbourne walk together and I’ve just kind of adopted ever since. So if any of you bully my son, I’m coming after you.” Y/n explained.
“He’s probably texting you right now saying ‘stop embarrassing me, mom!’” Sebastian went on.
“Wait, he’s over there!” Pierre spotted the Brit rushing towards their direction.
“He’s alive!” Charles cheered.
Finally, Lando arrived to their interview area with a box from a a bakery in his hand. “Sorry, I have to drop this off. We’ll get breakfast tomorrow. I got you pastries.” Lando gave Y/n the box and a hug then he was off since he was late for his interview.
“You’ve raised your son well.” The reporter joked.
“That was all me, I needed no help.”
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The next clip was a fan video from 2021. Y/n had just finished her date with a guy and now she was signing autographs and taking photos with a group of girls. The girls had just finished their meals at a restaurant when they spotted the f1 driver leaving with a guy. The politely asked for a photo, which y/n was more than glad to take. Her date stepped aside to give them a moment.
“Sorry to interrupt your date.” A girl apologized for her and all her friends.
“Nothing to be sorry about, honey. I’m actually nervous because I don��t know how the date went. I’m horrible at first dates so this is kinda making me less stressed.” Y/n admitted. The girls laughed as y/n signed a girls phone case.
“Has he met Lando?” Another girl asked knowing how close y/n and lando are.
“Not yet. I’m afraid that Lando might scare him off. Everyone on the grid might, especially seb. He will definitely give him one of those ‘treat her right or I will run you over’ speeches.” Y/n signed another phone case.
“Does he knows you’re famous?”
“Oh god, no! I told him I was unemployed and that a sugar daddy was giving me money. I’m surprised he still agreed to come on this date with me.” Y/n chuckled.
Months later, the guy ended up being y/n’s boyfriend. He even attended the British Grand Prix where he finally met Lando, who was actually the one to tell him to treat y/n right or he would run him over.
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The next clip started off with the intro to grill the grid. The challenge was to guess the driver’s numbers, something that y/n was semi confident about.
“So we start off with my man, Danny, number three.” She wrote down on her clipboard. “Four, my son, Lando. Also ever since I met Lando I’ve been seeing the number four quite often. It’s scary actually. Can’t decide if Lando put a curse on me or not.”
“Would he do that?”
“He shouldn’t,” y/n raised her voice slightly. “Anyways, next is … oh! Seb! I don’t know why I couldn’t think of him right away. Then we have latifi at number six then kimi at seven.” She continued writing down the names.
“Nine ….Mazepin.” She fought the urge to roll her eyes since her and the driver were never on good terms.
“Ten, my favorite frenchie well one of, we treat everyone nice here, gasly.” Y/n winked at the camera. “Eleven, the mexican minister of defense, Perez. And then we have me! Thirteen!”
“Do you think Lando got your number right?”
“I don’t doubt him ever.”
“Thirteen, my mother! Everyone better get that right.” Lando pointed at the camera menacingly.
“Fourteen, Alonzo. Sixteen, Leclerc Charles. Eighteen, stroll and twenty two!” Y/n sang the number in the tune of taylor swift’s song. “Yuki! Thirty one, Esteban, my other frenchie. Thirty three, max does he have a middle name verstappen.”
“Have you noticed that you haven’t gotten any wrong yet?”
“I’m just the best, that’s why.” Y/n laughed. “Forty four, the seven time world champion, sir lewis hamilton. Fourty seven, mick mick mick. I love to say his name.”
Y/n had completely forgotten she had to be writing the names down. She was having too much fun.
“Fifty five, carlos smooth operator sainz jr. sixty three, the man with two first names, russell george.” Y/n said as she looked down at the numbers on the paper.
“Do you know his middle name?”
Y/n gasped. “Is it another first name?”
“I believe it’s William.”
“Three names!? It sounds so british.” Y/n chuckled. “Um, seventy seven valtteri, right?” Y/n saw the interviewer nod. “I was getting worried my streak would be broken. And ninety nine, antonio!”
“You got all of them!” Everyone in the room cheered.
“Did anyone else get them all?” Y/n asked.
“Daniel did.”
“Of course. He’s good with numbers.”
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The next clip was from the same grill the grid video but it was a blooper. Lando had arrived right as y/n finished filming and handed her a water bottle.
“Did you get my number?” Lando asked curiously.
“Yeah, ninety five, right? Cause you’re a McQueen fan.” Y/n teased as she grabbed the bottle from lando’s hand.
“Yeah, you remembered!” Lando played along “how did she really do?” He asked.
“She got them all right.”
“Really? I’ve got a smart mother!” Lando high fived the woman.
“It’s because I’ve got a photographic memory.” Y/n nodded with the most serious face on.
“Do you really?” Lando asked. He was surprised to hear that.
“No, I just love to lie.”
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The next clip started with Daniel and Lando standing next to boards with their 2022 rankings. As predicted, Daniel and Lando’s part of the interview was mostly filled with them drawing over each other’s pictures.
Daniel them knocked over Lando’s rankings to the ground. “That’s how I feel.”
“That was the worst timing ever. Y/n is walking this way.” Lando told Daniel, who immediately picked up the board.
“Are those your rankings?” Y/n asked as she approached the duo. She then noticed that the setup and quickly apologized to the camera man. “Sorry, I’m just curious now.”
“Are you proud of me?” Lando asked, standing next to her and throwing his arm over her shoulder.
“When am I not? Wait, except that time you pushed me into my birthday cake.” Y/n pinched his side. “Can I see the pen?” She asked the guys, Lando gave her his.
“She’s adding to our masterpieces. This piece will be worth millions years from now.” Daniel said.
Y/n then scribbled little stars around Lando’s head and then signed it at the top. “Actually you both look great in your pictures. Did they use photoshop?”
“Excuse me, this is all natural.”
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“Y/n! Hi, hello. What’s going on here?” Martin brundle asked the woman as she walked with her mom and pr manager, Lucy.
“Martin! It’s been a while, nothing much. How are you?” Y/n hugged the former racing driver. “This is my mom, she’s been wanting to meet you.”
“Mrs. l/n, hello. Welcome, how are you?” Martin greeted the older woman.
“Great. I’m here supporting my girl. It’s been a wonderful weekend.” Y/n’s mom smiled.
“Are you aware that you have a grandson that drives for McLaren?” Martin asked making all three ladies laugh.
“Yes, Lando is a very lovely young man.”
“How does it feel to have a daughter and grandson in f1?” Martin asked in a serious tone.
“Amazing. I’m super proud of both of them.”
“Thank you ladies for your time. Have a wonderful day.” Martin smiled at them, but before he could leave, y/n gave him a hug goodbye.
“Take care, Martin!” Y/n waved to the man and left with her mom and Lucy.
“She wins everything. Give her all the trophies. Everything is hers.” Martin said to the camera.
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The final clip was consisted of y/n after a race getting interviewed.
“Do you often see your father?” Someone asked from the back.
“No, actually we’re just good friends.”
“What’s your opinion on the president of the United States?” Asked the same person.
“I don’t think about him.”
“What’s going on between max verstappen and lewis hamilton?”
“I don’t know, I just work here.”
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*introspectively stares up into the night sky* .......Does this mean that.... I am the clown?
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l8tof1 · 2 years
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please 😭💀💀
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roshambo05 · 3 months
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So I decided to rewatch RTTE because I felt like indulging in some childhood nostalgia. A few things to note:
- Snotlout and Fishlegs are dating. Good for them.
- The twins are the best characters. Still don't know wtf a boar pit is.
- I know those are supposed to be dragon scales on Ryker's shoulder and arm pads but they look like turtle shells I'm sorry--
- Actually good disability rep?? Hello??
- Hiccup how tf are you still alive?
- "Toothle plama bla" is perhaps the funniest thing in any piece of media ever.
- On the subject of Gruffnut: There's another one???
- How does Tuffnut know so many languages? Did these languages exist in this time period? If so who taught him? Is Tuffnut Odin in disguise? Would that make Ruffnut Loki?
- Hiccup is AuDHD. No I will not be taking comments at this time.
- Where tf did Hiccup get his dragon blade in midnight scrum? Why did he not use it to free himself or fend off his attackers? Also, on the subject of midnight scrum, how is this boy's neck not broken??
- I stan one (1) Heather the Unhinged. Go off queen. Feral bastard child.
- Ruffnut is actually super smart?? And cool?? What??
- I did not watch the series before this one so Dagur's entrance confused me so much at first. Who is this man and why does his beard look like that?? Please shave.
- Gonna punch Snotlout's dad. Gonna kick his fucking ass.
- Why is Viggo so aggressively British? And why is his brother Scottish? Come to think of it, there is no consistency in any of the accents.
- Sir, that is not a dragon, that is a Pokémon (you know exactly which dragon I'm talking about don't pretend you don't know)
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kitybur · 9 months
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𝐛𝐮𝐳𝐳𝐞𝐫 | 𝐪𝐮𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐭𝐲
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⌦ in which you are a rather popular streamer, and get invited to a cut’s buzzer dating video.
— warnings: pronouns not mentioned, swearing, use of real name
| this is a draft from a while ago, idk why i was obsessed with the buzzer dating vids from cut's but here we are |
⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。⋆
you were anxiously waiting in the room the producers had showed you when you first came into the building. it was a small comfy area; plush green couches and chairs with light blanket throw overs and soft pillows.
it was almost a mystery how you ended here. cut had emailed your team and asked if you were available to shoot a dating video for their channel. although it was a weird offer, you agreed nonetheless, hoping to maybe find someone out of it.
you rubbed your sweaty hands on your jeans as a woman walked into the room. she had just taken her turn but must’ve been buzzed since she came back. this worried you.
“how’d it go?” one of the other women asked. the one who had returned smiled and shook her head.
“he’s cute, but i’m not his type.” she paused, sitting down in a chair and looking over to you. “i really hope you get him, or someone in this room does.” you smiled nervously at her in thanks. just as she moved on to speak again, one of the crew members motioned you to come out.
it was now your turn. deep breath in. deep breath out.
you stood and walked out. the room was a dull white and had two chairs and a table with a button in the middle. you put a confident smile on your face as the man sitting in the chair spoke.
“hi! im alex!” his tone was rather soft, definitely not what you expected once taking in his appearance. he had shoulder length brown fluffy hair, the top of it hidden by a black beanie. his shirt baggy along with his jeans. you couldn’t deny that it was attractive.
you stuck out your hand, his instantly meeting it in a tight grip. “it’s nice to meet you, alex. i’m y/n!” you let go of his soft hand to pull out your chair and sit down.
“are you nervous?” he asked with a slight chuckle. in all honesty, he had felt the shake in your hand when he shook it, he wanted to make sure you were okay.
you let out a little laugh back. “just a little. this is all a little nerve wracking. are you?”
alex nodded, expanding his hands on the table. “a little, yeah. can i ask, how old are you?” he seemed nervous at the question, but you didn’t take it to heart. you would’ve asked the same thing eventually.
“of course! i’m twenty. how about yourself?”
“i’m twenty-one! nice that we’re around the same age.” you agreed with a soft smile. you went to ask a question when the button started to talk.
“what do you guys do for a living?” the robotic voice was loud and clear, coming from the tiny box in front of you. you both stayed silent for a moment, taking in what the button said before speaking up.
“i, uh, stream on twitch, sometimes.” you shrugged, feeling slightly embarrassed. alex looked at you with wide eyes, and you felt like you were a goner.
“no way! i stream on twitch too!” you let out a breathy laughed, shaking your head.
“damn, really? well, i’m glad we have that in common.” he stayed silent with a small smile plastered on his face. the button glowed red and you were sure he was going to press it.
“y/n is into humours people.” the button turned blue again and you felt your stomach doing flips. he didn’t press it.
“oh, really?” alex asked, eyes making contact with your own orbs. you nodded, making his face light up more. “i just happen to be the most funniest person alive.”
“i love the confidence, it’s hot.” you immediately bring your hand to your mouth as a way to shut yourself up.
“what did you say?” please, button. shut up.
alex was laughing, not at you but at the bright pink dusting your face he saw when you removed your hand. “oh, god. i’m sorry!”
“no, no, no, no! i’m flattered to know you think i’m hot. you’re not too bad yourself, mi amor.” your face was a shade darker of pink while his was light. this guy could be a flirt if he wanted.
“do you find each other attractive?”
you swallowed the lump in your throat, holding your own hand under the table. “yeah-yes. i do find him attractive.” you might’ve felt like dying right then and there.
“i too, find y/n attractive.” alex said in a sly tone. you stared at each other for a few moments before it was ruined by the room lighting up red by the button once again. you watched alex's eyes drop down to the button, then back to you. but he made no move to press it, and neither did you.
"this is the second time, and neither of you have pressed." said the button, turning blue. "do you wish to see each other outside of this video?"
you nodded, quickly, causing alex to laugh. "i would love to see him after this, if he'll have me." you gave a small wink and shy smile. alex shook his head.
"i'd love to have you, you don't even need to ask." you laughed lightly, trying to get rid of the warm feeling in your stomach and the tight knots twisting.
"go on, give each other a hug to end it off." alex stood out of his chair, slowly walking over to you and reaching a hand out. without thinking twice, you reach out and let him help you stand. you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, while his secured around your waist. he swayed you both for a moment or two before letting go, but not going too far.
"you guys are free to go now, hope you work out!" a female producer called out, clapping her hands along with a few other workers. you made your way towards the exit, slightly embarrassed and took a deep breathe as you reached outside.
"hey!" you turned around to see non other than alex, hands on his hips. "leaving so soon?" he smirked.
"not without my prize." you flirted back, stepping closer. his eyes widened and he let out a huff.
"speaking up now are we?" he let his palm rest against your jaw and he rubbed thumb rub back and forth. just when you thought he was going in for a kiss, he pulled back. "would love for your number so we can continue this."
you stared at him, mixed emotions in your eyes. lust, confusion, and even anger. sad to say, you may have desperately wanted to kiss him there.. who wouldn't have? in your haze state, you pulled out your phone and handed it to him. he punched in his number and handed your phone back to you. alex told you that he needed to leave to stream, which you understood. he pressed a kiss to your forehead and turned around.
as you watched him walk away, you thought about what would have happened if you didn't agree to do this video. but quickly put that thought behind you, because you had potentially met your future lover. you were definitely going to be stalking his stream before you had to start your own for the night.
⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。⋆
a/n: bye lol i rushed the ending i didnt know what to put LMAO. ok i hope you enjoyed.
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pedro pascal is actually something that can be so personal
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