#why last letters are losing formatting???

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

savanaclaw light novel: the importance of introspection

I’ve previously discussed how TWST benefits from telling us the same story across different mediums. Different mediums provide different benefits over others, and some can “patch up” rougher bits of story or add more detail to them. The game is interactive and serves as a baseline for most new content. The manga is able to have far more freedom of movement and expression due to being visual-heavy. And last, but not least, a light novel, which is mostly text, has the boon of letting us see more of each character’s thoughts and feelings. We can elaborate on what the game already established and understand the characters on a deeper level.

I would say that the light novel’s format will most benefit the OB boys, as they are the ones who will go through the biggest character arcs in the main story. Because the game’s story is told via mostly dialogue and some sound effects, we rarely, if ever, get a clear understanding of what the OB boys are truly thinking and feeling outside of their brief post-OB flashbacks. The same goes for the manga, which has limited pages to tell its story, so it has to keep a certain pace. But a light novel? Well, you can go ham there with an omniscient narrator.

Today, I want to talk about Leona’s expanded post-OB introspection in the second volume of the light novel as an example of this. Then I will combine it with the information we have from the game and see how the light novel complements what already we know of his character thanks to hindsight. (I’ll be referencing this fan translation if you want to read and follow along!)

First thing’s first! From the game, we know that Leona enrolled in Night Raven College one year late (and then got held back a year, which makes sense considering he is 20 in the main story present). He didn't find a use in attending school since he, by royal birth, was able to afford all the best tutors in the world and didn't think NRC had anything left to teach him. In Leona's Birthday Boy vignettes, he further specifies that he decided to enroll at NRC after Cheka was born. As Leona says in his post-OB flashback in-game, Cheka's birth means "the despised second son loses what little claim he had to the throne forever", essentially putting an end to his hopes. This would imply that this specific change in circumstance was the push that made Leona want to physically distance himself from home. Furthermore, it's supported by Leona's other behaviors: he does not take calls or read letters from home if he can help it (implied by Cheka asking why Leona doesn't answer his letters and Cheka calling on Halloween night to catch up with him; Leona lies and quickly hangs up), he makes excuses to avoid going home (as Kifaji states), etc. If we want to extrapolate even more, how is it that Leona, second born prince, initially crossed paths with Ruggie, who was born and raised in the slums (which, I imagine, must be quite some distance away from the royal palace)? This makes me think that even before Leona enrolled at NRC he would leave his housing and roam around, finding alternative places to stay because home just felt too uncomfortable and suffocating for him. There's also the implication that Leona often brooded over his circumstances, as he confesses to thinking about it and going to NRC to get his mind away from the tired cycle--although he also acknowledges that he's running away from "the pain" of having lost the throne.

The distancing would prove itself to be beneficial to his mental health, as Leona cites that his heart started feeling lighter, his restlessness dulled, and his pain numbed. With the throne out of sight, so, too, was it out of mind, and his longing softened. But that same haunting despair returns when another group starts to place expectations on him. This time, it's no longer the palace servants, but his own dorm members. Instead of fear and derision, his new pack looks at him, their "king", with desperateness--and, more importantly, hope. Speaking about the future with sparkling eyes. That, in turn, made Leona hopeful too. He can't let these people who look up to him and rely on him down, so he must do anything to win. That's all he ever wanted: to win, just this once. No matter what, he wants to win.

But when Leona's plans crumble, that crushing sense of despair rears its ugly head. He fails. And he suddenly understands that all his efforts will always amount to nothing, that they will always be meaningless, that there is no future for him. Leona's hopes have been dashed. He has been struck down by the world once again, just as he had started to climb up, fighting tooth and nail, to prove himself. Yet when defeat came, he also claims it doesn't bother him as much as he thought he would--perhaps because he's so accustomed to not winning, because maybe this is the outcome he had expected all along in the deepest recesses of his heart. That familiar disappointment begins to hurt him once more, and Leona wants to forget it all, to retreat to the shadows and to lick his wounds, to be far away from that pain.

One interesting new detail we glean from the light novel is that Leona is terrified by his dorm mates staring at him with hopeful eyes. It's not their expectations he's inherently scared of, but what those expectations can do to him. Leona is scared of himself, of being motivated by others to act, to never give up hope, when he still anticipates being beat down again and again by a world that rejects him and denies him. He even goes so far as to say he would be pathetic if he let his dorm mates' words inspire him and keep his waning hope alive. Ruggie, who had wanted to turn the world upside down together. Jack, who was inspired by his play three years back. All the mobs putting faith in their futures on him, their one and only leader. With so many people looking to him, how can he not be swayed by that positivity that had once been so elusive to him? How could that not ignite what little spark of hope is left in him? And that's exactly what Leona finds so dangerous about it. He's lived almost his entire life being put in his place, hurt every time he tried to demonstrate what he could do, how he could contribute--yet time and time again, here comes life, tempting him to try again, just to inevitably be compared to his brother and kicked down, delivering another blow to his pride and his self-image. Leona truly seems to hate himself for not being able to let go of that small fragment of hope he has left. He wants so badly to give up and not have to worry anymore about something he can never obtain. He's so tired of struggling and suffering for nothing. If he just caved, then he would never be hurt again. He can't be hurt if he doesn't care about anything. Yet no matter how much he wishes or tries, he can't run far enough away to detach himself from those expectations of grandeur, of being something more.

There's been many fan theories about Leona's mental health in circulation well before the release of this light novel, many of which mention self-loathing in spite of how proud and confident he typically presents as. You'd have to read in-between the lines of dialogue from the game to draw these clues out, whereas the light novel lays it more bare to you. It hits very differently reading hateful statements made by the character to himself. Leona calls himself all sorts of things: a fool, pathetic, insignificant, boring. That he isn't strong, that he isn't wise, that he's not loved. (In the in-game flashback, Leona also talks in a self-deprecating way, but to a far lesser extent than in the light novel; we also see that Falena does his best to discourage Leona from this kind of behavior.) That this is who he is, that it's the one thing he's afraid to admit and accept--but he also says he lacks the "strength" to give up. That's why Leona would rather run away than confront that potential truth. The option to embrace complete nihilism just isn't possible for him, because he can't just quash that pesky little thing called hope. This is much more complex than what's explained in the games and demonstrates a maturity and degree of self-reflection from Leona that we've never seen before. What's more, this gives us brand new context with which to view many of his other seemingly mundane actions mentioned in the game. At face value, Leona often acts very callously and doesn't care to help others unless he gets some kind of benefit from it (like agreeing to poof the contracts in book 3 just because he has his own deal he wants to get rid of). We see this time and time again when he instructs others reliant on him or less knowledgeable than he is in various matters where he is well-read and experienced with. For example, he takes note of his club members' strengths and weaknesses and offers tailored advice to help them improve their play. He tells others how to mine magestones of an adequate size in Vargas Camp. Maybe he's just doing these things to make the circumstances easier for himself (so he can put forth less effort to leading them in a game, or so he can nap heartily). But from what we've just learned from the light novel, now I'm suspecting a different secondary motive.

What if... Leona is, in part, encouraging and helping others to hone their own skills to subconsciously compensate for what he doesn't believe he himself is capable of? Because there's still so much hope for his dorm mates, for his underclassmen... (and, let's not forget, it was those in Savanaclaw that first motivated Leona to "try" again for the first time in forever) but he doesn't have that same amount of hope for himself. I get these vibes as late as book 6, when Leona and Jamil have a talk. In their conversation, Leona directs many pointed, blunt words at Jamil--words that could very easily also be thrown back at Leona's face and be applicable to his book 2 self. He accuses Jamil of making excuses so he won't have to actually act, just as Leona has continuously run away from uncomfortable situations to put himself at ease. At one point, I believe Leona event states that Jamil “*isn’t like [me]”, Here, again, it can be argued that we're seeing Leona's self-awareness on display, as well as a willingness to warn others to not follow down the same path he once treaded, to lose all hope in the future. Again, it's done with a double purpose: the other one being to get Jamil out of his way while they're exploring. And (of course) Leona's way of expressing his message is gruff and not very warm, not to Jamil and certainly not to himself. He's become prickly and defensive himself after all of his experiences--but that just adds to the complexity of his character when we synthesize what we know of him from TWST multimedia.

I really wish a lot of what was in the light novel post-Leona OB was also in the game. It would have helped to flesh out Leona's motivations and fears, which book 2 was sorely needing. As he is presented now, he appears shallow and selfish in his goals, and we don't fully understand the emotions spurring him on, a lot of which is genuine self-loathing and the sinking despair that comes with thinking you're not enough and you'll never be enough. That would have been so much more relatable than the in-game Leona having himself a pity party with a great amount of emphasis on the throne--a throne which, in actuality, just symbolizes a desire for recognition, love, and acceptance. It was never about explicitly being king. It was about being seen as his own person and appreciated for it instead of being admonished and compared to his exalted older brother.

Now, as an adult, Leona has become someone who pushes away those who try to give him that which he craves. He sees a lot of people--his own family and his dorm mates, the closest thing he has to friends--as dangers to his own mental wellbeing. He's scared to let them in, so he's built up these emotional, arrogant walls around himself. Think at how often he rejects advice from Falena and refuses Cheka's affection for him. Look at how this behavior extends beyond those who are keeping him from a literal throne and to his classmates. They instill hope in him, hope which scares Leona. The things he has wanted all his life are now poison that chips away at him. Considering all of that together, it makes Leona's story far more tragic than how it was initially shown to us in the game alone. But guess what? That can also become his strength, fuel for his character arc. Leona isn't running anymore. He's actually returning home for winter break in book 4. He's determined to not get held back again. He's committing to an internship in a field (an energy lab) which will immensely help his country (which is rich in natural resources). All of this, coming from a young man who once acted bitter when his older brother suggested that there were many things Leona could do with his intelligence to benefit their homeland. Leona is making slow strides and steady progress toward a future he used to think was unattainable for him. From that darkness, he's rising anew--like the sun upon the savanna.

[lilac-nites]

List of Lolita Resources

Someone in my comm encouraged me to make this list of resources for new lolitas. We were talking about how hard it can be to find information from Google search and there's just so much misinformation out there. I have a list of links that I've bookmarked and read over the past decade for when I finally become a lolita. I organized the list by sections in a specific order. It goes from information about the fashion and then to where to buy it.

To any new lolitas, there is so much information out there about lolita fashion that is still available. Part of the fun for me was researching the fashion, looking at coords, and learning what makes lolita lolita. There's so much information out there for you to immerse yourself in and even more stuff that's not listed in this resource list.

What is Lolita Fashion

Fyeah Lolita - This is my favorite blog and I still go back and read it. The last post was made in 2016 and the fashion has changed a lot since then, but it's pretty comprehensive and provides a good base knowledge. Imo, I think these articles (1 2 3 4) are required reading for anyone entering the fashion Lolita Fashion 101 - Bay Area Kei did several videos on lolita fashion during lockdowns. I recommend them for anyone that prefers video format. Raine Dragon's Lolita 101 series - Raine is a lolita that still updates her blog and has a lot of information on the history of lolita fashion. And she has a really great article on Chinese indie brands that should also be required reading for anyone new to using Taobao.

Costs of Lolita Manufacturing - One of the first things you'll notice is that lolita can be expensive. This resource breaks down the costs associated with manufacturing and why brands charge what they charge.

Substyles of Lolita Fashion

The below links are for the three basic styles of lolita fashion. If you research more, you'll find that there are more than these three, but I recommend starting with one of the three above to make it easier for to build your wardrobe. Classic Lolita Sweet Lolita Gothic Lolita

Where to get Lolita Fashion

Before even buying anything, you will need a tape measure to take your measurements. You'll need to measure your bust, waist, hips, and shoulder width in centimeters. That's how you will find out which clothes will fit you. Sizing can be different from brand to brand and country to country. I know many are used to buying using letter sizes, but it's best to go by actual measurements. Aim to buy clothes that are 4 - 6cm larger than your actual measurements to allow room for breathing/eating/etc. If you're brand new to the fashion, I highly recommend sticking to the sources listed in the videos below. It's very easy to get scammed if you don't know what to look for and I'd hate for anyone to lose their money on barely wearable clothes from Amazon/Ebay/Aliexpress. Where to Buy Lolita Fashion How to shop for Lolita Fashion online - secondhand is life for lolita fashion and there are so many options. PinkFakeFlowers goes in depth into the many ways to get it. I personally recommend 42lolita for anyone looking to buy from Chinese brands on Taobao.

Plus Size Lolita

Unfortunately, many of the Japanese brands and even some Chinese indie brands are not size inclusive. If you can't fit into the mainstream brands, don't worry there are still options. I always recommend Meta since they have a Plus Size and occasionally a Plus Plus size of their dresses and blouses that goes up to 160cm or even 200cm in some releases. Plus Size Lolita Crash Course Where to Start as a Plus Sized Lolita - This is a wonderful resource listing brands that are size inclusive.

Online Spaces for Lolita Fashion

Lolita fashion is pretty spread out now compared to the EGL (still recommend reading livejournal because its a cool time capsule of the lolita comm) days, but there are still groups on Facebook BSoLF - Great for beginners to ask questions and be helped by others. It's hard to search here but I recommend looking through the group for info. Your Local Comm (if applicable) - most are still on Facebook even if they still have a Discord. You can search for your local one on this list.

More Resources for New Lolitas

Lolita Tips for New Lolitas Three helpful tips for coordinating an outfit Lolita Tips Tumblr - I don't recommend Fanplusfriend anymore, but 42lolita is a good replacement. This tumblr is a great resource for inspo and there are many answered asks to reference. Unfortunately, polyvore is no longer a thing and many pictures are missing as a result.

Bonus

These are just a mishmash of links to resources/lists/blog that I like. Lolita Collective

Lolita youtubers ask

Lolita tumblrs ask 20dollarlolita and her post on replicas

More plus size lolita brands ask Japanese Wikipedia entry for Lolita fashion and list of brands

Azuki Mikan

Buttcape

Old School Lolita

[onlyjaeyun]

i’ve been following ur writing for some time now and i do have to agree with that anon who said you did CH dirty. you are a very talented writer so it’s just hard to watch.

you started off CH so strong with the lore and little chapters here and there but as it progressed you kind of just got lazy and it shows. when important events happened in the story, they weren’t conveyed through writing but through the texts (ie the riki and yn fight, that was definitely worth a written chapter) and it was honestly disappointing.

the ending isn’t much to say about either. yn and hoon barely go through development after the letter incident and all of a sudden they’re dating and married with a kid like two chapters later?

idk, if it was a mental health issue then i get that but even then you should’ve just gave it a break and thought everything out more. you could do so much better.

thank you for the feedback!

i wanna put you through the progess of a piece of writing from the POV of a writer okay? now keep in mind: i work two jobs, am a fulltime uni student and the daughter of an immigrant household with two parents who still work most of the day just so you know what else i have to deal with, besides my mental health okay?

now, i started off CH strong right? yes. i uploaded on the daily, fine i chose that. a chapter usually takes me around one hour if i actually sit down and focus on nothing but the chapter itself, which includes IG stories, editing, formatting etc. alright

on top of the daily chapters, i constantly replied to 40+ asks a day, a blessing in disguise because no matter how much i enjoy talking to you guys, the pressure does get worse the bigger that number of my inbox becomes, i hope this makes sense

now, i started CH back in october, right when my semester started, thats why i started off strong but as time went on, my assignments and private life got too busy and i guess i felt entitled enough as a writer to skip a few certain chaps and make life a little easier for me by making them regular chapters instead of written ones.

and this is gonna be my main point: i'm not a machine. i wrote a minimum of 5 THOUSAND words per written chapter, MINIMUM. we're talking about a 5-9 THOUSANDED worded chapter EACH WEEK. which usually took me about 6-7 hours, even allnighters.

yes, i chose to do that and maybe my time management wasn't the best but i had to create a compromise where i wouldnt have let you guys wait for over two months which would have resulted in me losing my motivation completely, and yet still focusing on EXAMS. because you know, i'm a fulltime uni student with TWO jobs 😮‍💨

if YOU think i did CH dirty go write an alternative ending yourself but it should be a minimum of 15 chapters including 5 written ones, with at LEAST 9k words each yeah? i wanna see you manage it all, pls prove me wrong snd show me you're better than me i'm genuinely begging bc it might inspire me to do "better" next time.

as a writer/artist/creator, and i can tell you probably arent one yourself or havent been one for long, the longer smth takes to come to an end the worse the pressure becomes which results in a blockage i dont wish upon my worst enemy i'm being deadass. i dealt with some of the worst writer's block ive had since i started writing literally 12 years ago and you're telling me i should have just "taken a break" and do "better"

i never, ever expected anything from anyone but some of you are so entitled to a writer's time and skill it's giving me a headache. maybe you didn't like the timing and writing of the last few chapters of CH and i guess that's unfortunate but this was so unnecessary because you completely dismissed everything else that could have been going on in my life and even belittled my mental health issues like im some fucking AI writing machine

do better, be nicer, write it yourself if you don't like it i'm so fucking over this

if i had gotten out of my own comfort and wellbeing and have actually written another set of written chapters i would have burned myself completely out. ive been in this fandom for not even a year and have already finished FOUR smaus with 50 chapters each, you do NOT get to tell me what i should or could have done better because you dont even give a fuck about me as a person this is just about receiving what YOU think YOURE entitled to but this is MY art and I will do what I see fit even if it's not what was expected of it because i'm a fucking human being with a life before i'm a writer on tumblr

oh, also: i do this for free ㅤ:) just a reminder :) this is my HOBBY :)

and don't you EVER call me lazy again when it comes to writing because i'm not gonna pour my heart and soul into a fic just for you to call me lazy when i literally wrote 50 THOUSAND words for this fucking fic just for the written chapters

goodbye

[lawlietscaramels]

My personal headcanon is that “L” is his middle name. Given how the other names are formatted on fan wiki (I don't have htr13 so I am assuming they translated correctly), “Lawliet” is his last name.

I have never seen that Watari gave him a last name and even if it's canon I refuse to accept that — if he's reportedly giving a child a letter for a name, why would he bother with a surname? So, there must be some record of L's parents, or he himself remembers them (I have a whole different set of headcanons for L's parents but whatever. another time).

Given this, there must exist some record of L. It was probably later destroyed, but either there is a record of his first name or he himself remembers it. I don't know, I knew my own name at 5...

So then, when did L become “A nameless orphan”? Of course, when he came to Wammy's. There are so many problems with this institution and one is that it strips its children of an identity. “____ L Lawliet” had to die for “L the detective” to be born. Even not knowing he would be a detective at that point, he had to be some great genius, a saviour, and our saviours are a symbol. They are no longer allowed to be a person.

Would a genius agree to that?

A child would.

The other problem with Wammy's – if you lose your parents, your guiding figures in socialisation and life, at such a young age, then who replaces them? A scientist who sees children as projects? If that's the case, it's unfortunate, but you will still follow them because you've lost your parents and he is here to take you in.

I wonder if L was taught to forget his name.

I wonder if he forgot L was himself, too. Let it become those around him, every genius worthy of the title he thought wasn't his.

I wonder.

　★━━─・‥…━━━☆

𝖎𝖋 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖑𝖎𝖐𝖊𝖉 𝖎𝖙 ˏˋ⋆˖⁺˖⁀➷ 𝖕𝖑𝖊𝖆𝖘𝖊 𝖗𝖊𝖇𝖑𝖔𝖌 + 𝖋𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖔𝖜

[sinfulequity]

Swing and...A miss!

Mikoto’s door is finally here!

Along with the announcement of his cover song and his voice drama name; how fun~

Now onto actually analyzing this thing lmao (Gunsli/Archivalofsins and I both worked really hard on structuring and formatting this thing)

TL;DR- Neoplasm is a fitting evolution from John Doe for both personalities within Mikoto. It is fitting for the one we’re familiar with due to the abrupt change in perception and the one we found out about afterwards because they are becoming more active/growing more defined as Milgram progresses. There are a lot of horror elements involved in Mikoto’s song and previous mv that both of us are excited to see elaborated on in Double. The door is likely based on some sort of operating room and the lettering of the song title in English is probably referring to division.

I.            The Title

Firstly, I want to go over how the title is formatted in English! Initially I was thinking of it in writing terms (i.e. how parentheses are used to add clarifying information to a sentence).

A parenthesis is a word, phrase, or clause inserted into a sentence as an explanation or afterthought. When a parenthesis is removed, the surrounding text is still grammatically sound. A parenthesis is usually offset with parentheses (i.e., round brackets), commas, or dashes. These are called parenthetical punctuation marks. A parenthesis is sometimes called an "interrupter" as it interrupts the flow of text.

Examples of them are:

·         Andrew Jacklin (last year's losing finalist) is expected to win this heat.

·         The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary. (Journalist HL Mencken)

When parentheses (round brackets) are used to offset a parenthesis, the parenthesis is easily seen. However, some writers feel that parentheses can make formal texts look unorganized.

There are more links above, outside of the meaning, usage and formatting of parenthesis. If you’re interested, you can go through it all to see the way that grammar and formatting can help explain/emphasize a point! Being informed on this, at the very least, will be helpful for those that wish to more critically engage with and analyze written media.

Applying this logic to the English title of Mikoto’s second trial song, further emphasizes Mikoto being MeMe. As it can literally be read as Double I’m MeMe. Due to the lack of punctuation, this can be interpreted as both a statement and a question.

Something alluded to by Mikoto’s expression. However, this isn’t the only way it can be read!

We’ve had addition,

“Clothes Food Shelter + Love and Miss.”

We’ve had subtraction,

“Loving Affection (minus) Love, it’s tacky, this two-way deceit.” (Also, another effective use of parentheses.)

Now get ready for-

Division

Yep, the way I’m (MeMe) is written should be familiar to anyone who knows basic Algebra. Because this is exactly how basic division problems are shortened within that form of math and others.

Some examples,

This serves to follow up on what we were told within MeMe,

“Split in half, make that heart beat.”

Since that’s exactly what division is all about

“Division is a mathematical operation which involves the separating of an amount into equal-sized groups.”

Regardless of the outcome it will always be balanced and through recombining those groups will equal the whole. This is why any single number divided by itself equals one because it is equally distributed down. This is why uneven numbers when divided usually have solutions that are not integers as well. The exception being when they’re divided by themselves or by 1.

The point of division is breaking something down into equal parts that can be put back together to get the number you divided by.

For example,

7/2=3.5

89/2=44.5

In either scenario if one were to add this number to itself (essentially combining the two halves) it would make the number that was divided. Add forty-four point five to forty-four point five, to get eighty-nine and three point five to three point five to get seven.

Division is all about figuring out what number added to itself as many times as the number it is being divided by will equal out to the number that is being divided. So, in the case of our first two examples where we are dividing by two doubling the number we get will equal out to what we divided.

A more on topic example would be dividing Mikoto’s prisoner number by two.

9/2= 4.5

Ultimately, this would just be another way of stating something we know about Mikoto already. That he is the ninth prisoner within Milgram.

Let’s use Mikoto’s prisoner number in another division example,

9/3= 3

In multiplication three multiplied by itself equals nine, as many know. However, that doesn’t equate to three overall but three groups of three. Basically being,

3+3+3= 9

Only serving to further reiterate to us that Mikoto is the ninth prisoner overall. That’s just how math works. Now that we’ve gone over some rather basic math; what does the way they chose to organize the lettering on Mikoto’s second trial cd tell us?

Under this framing it could be read as Double I’m/(MeMe) or Double I’m divided by MeMe.

This could reflect that Mikoto’s current state of being is separated into these parts. Stating that these are the parts that make up I’m. Or to put it in math terms again I’m/(MeMe)= Y(X).

Get it because his first trial song quote is,

“Why?”

Also, because the solution, just like punctuation, isn’t here within the title. Something that further emphasizes this lyric in MeMe,

“Why, hey why, I’m nowhere to be found.”

In this case, the two me’s would be making up the I’m while being a source of division for it.

This way of reading it may allude to a disagreement between these two parts or just imply that both these parts are getting in the way of discovering “I’m” in some way breaking their overall sense of self down.

This is something, that has also been illustrated in Yamanaka’s tweet regarding the voice drama,

Which roughly translates to,

“I (ore) did it. I (boku) didn’t do it! You saw it through Milgram! What do you think?”

All this implies that we will more than likely be seeing Mikoto/and the other face this aspect of themselves along with the concept of identity in some way.

II.            The Door & Speculations on the Voice Drama Snippet

When it comes to Mikoto’s door, Gunsli and I couldn’t really agree on what it was. At first glance I thought it was an elevator door and she thought it was a train door. However, the door opens outwards while noticeably not being broken in any way that would force it to do so, illustrating that this door has hinges.

Meaning that both beliefs are incorrect.

Train doors also don’t have this on top,

This digital prompter is why I initially believed it was an elevator before taking into consideration how it opens. These words have been put on all the prisoner’s doors. However, they have always been in some way apart of them. This implies that this digital prompter is a part of the door, proper.

Making it more unlikely that these are the doors to a train. I’ve also seen speculation of it being a swing door (opening both outwards and inwards, which would be cool), but… given how fortified the frame is and how thick the doors themselves are… I find that highly unlikely.

The closest thing that we’ve come to a consensus on is actually…

Operating room doors (Operation Theatre Doors). Possibly, emergency operation ones? If this is it, I’m curious to what Mikoto’s MV is visually gonna be like. I think it would be hilarious if we didn’t get visceral imagery, but I don’t think that’s likely after taking into consideration the horror inspirations that can be noted within his previous trial (something we’ll go into later).

Those give his door a few more fun implications. Especially, if these are in fact operating room doors. This is because a lot of zombie/infection type horror movies take place in hospitals. If one were to look at his door through that sort of lens, wouldn’t it appear quite reminiscent to the doors seen at ground zero infection sites in virus or zombie genre horror flicks- The blood smeared on the door as people try to make their way in the glass smashed in hopes of reaching in and unlocking it or breaking a barricade. That airtight thick frame around the door. The likes of movies such as Contagion, 28 Days Later, or The Sadness. Warning for flashing lights on all these trailers by the way.

Outside of continuing these horror inspirations, operation room doors would be a good fit considering his voice dramas name as well. This time, the voice drama is called “Neoplasm”, which is not technically a word that exists, but does follow the format of a bunch of medical terms.

Now, I’m gonna rewind a little, because I haven’t given my opinion on the first trial voice drama name, “John Doe”, either (I promise this connects lol). John Doe applies to both personalities in Mikoto in different ways.

The Mikoto taken into Milgram (referred to within this section from now as Miko), is initially described as “mass goods”. In other words, an “everyman” or to quote Gunsli, “a dime a dozen”. Miko is an office worker, one of the most mundane jobs out there.

This touches on the fact that, like Gunsli has said previously, he could be replaced at any point without much trouble. As we know, John Doe is widely known to be used as a generic name/placeholder in order to withhold details from the larger public.

Either that, or the details don’t exist.

The Mikoto we find out about after Milgram has started, proper, (referred to in this section as Koto), is someone we don’t have an identifying “tag” for. The only (overt) way we know that Koto is out is that he has different behavioural mannerisms and vocabulary.

Even then, his use of personal pronouns seemed to be the same as Miko’s in MeMe, given the line:

“I” will save “me”.

This line uses boku in both instances of a personal pronoun.

In this way, John Doe could be meant in its more formal way; where a body is called this when the identity hasn’t been verified yet.

Incidentally, did you know that John Doe used to be a court term?

Specifically, to hide the identity of a plaintiff in an ongoing court case. There’s also a counterpart called Richard Roe, that hides the identity of the defendant.

There is a mild but real possibility that Miko could be trying to implicate Koto as the perpetrator within his second voice drama to skirt taking responsibility for his actions. It has been brought to the audience’s attention that the prisoners can hear what the audience has been saying about them since the beginning of trial two.

Though Yuno is the most candid about it,

Absolute Zero Yuno Trial 2 Interrogation

“It’s fucking bothersome- I told you this from the start; didn’t I. There’s no end to how much people will punish each other outside of the law. Due to that I really had no interest in Milgram.”

Yes, I remember that. You told me that you wouldn’t pay my judgements any mind and just continue as you have been.

“Oh, that’s right; I’m happy you remembered! Yet, at that time, I didn’t exactly hate it…Milgram. Sure, this place is full of nothing but weirdos but it was much warmer than my day-to-day life at least.”

It did appear like you were having fun the last time we spoke.

“Yes, it was fun! Sure, they’re all murderers but they’re interesting people. They put me at ease a bit, there was just something nice about being around others who also seemed to have something missing in one way or another.”

You’re saying that changed because of me?

“Yep! The situation has become more bothersome than fun. Now all the novelty of it that I found fun at first has been overshadowed- So, I’ve chilled out now that’s all.”

…

“And…Are you satisfied with this situation?”

Everyone within Milgram is a murderer, to the extent of clarifying the information I’ve been handed, to understand your sins… This job, my role, is necessary. Milgram will pull to the forefront not just your essences but the truths that lie within.

“Who are you trying to convince with that? Do those feelings and observations of yours not hold up unless you repeat them over and over again to yourself?”

…!

“You want to find the truth…huh? Pf…Haha!”

Yes, of course, as the guard of Milgram finding the truth of the matter is integral to correctly judging your sins-

“It’s the result of A LOOOOT OF sugar-babying: abortion.”

…!

“That’s probably my murder. Well have it, go and partake of the truth you were seeking so badly.”

…

“How is it, as good as you thought? Are you satisfied? If so, can we be done already?”

Yuno…you…

“You don’t surprise easily, do you? As I thought, you knew it from the song extraction.”

Well, yes, I considered it as one of many possibilities. However, that is the one I believed was most likely. Taking into account Milgram’s lack of specifications concerning the terms murderer and murder alongside it acting outside of common law I could not overlook the possibility it could interpret such a thing as murder.

“Yes, I’m sure. Well, more to say, I had this inkling that was your way of thinking. I could feel it.”

You could feel it…you say?

“Feel it, hear it, all throughout Milgram it’s probably the same with the others as well. Voices talking, observing, poking their noses into things that they ought not to and then discussing my sins.”

Something like that…

“Were those not the sort of thoughts you were having or something? It’s not as if I can really know for sure after all.”

…I don’t know. I wasn’t informed that Milgram could have that sort of impact. It is true I decided to forgive you with that thought in mind. However, that decision is only provisional.

“Haaa….”

…

“Well, then now I’ll tell you the second reason I’m so chilled out! Yaaay!!”

…

“You’re bad at going with the mood, huh.”

I’m starting to lose what little grasp I had on the type of person you are.

“You know it’s dull if you get too serious all the time.”

Noted. Continue.

“My second chillout reason simply put is the fact I was forgiven.”

What?

“Well, to get specific, it isn’t the fact I was forgiven itself but…”

I don’t understand. Just state it plainly.

“Hm…well then, should I just tell you what I heard in my head, what those incessant voices were saying. “Because she’s pitiful.”, “There’s no doubt, she definitely had some sort of reason for doing it.”, “She’s probably this way because there were problems in her home life.”, “She just doesn’t know love yet!” Ah…! “Because of that… I’ll forgive her!”.”

It's true that my decision was impacted by that sort of analogical reasoning and those are all things I considered.

“Ah, yes, yes… Well, and I have to stress this is going to purely and fully my own personal opinion but- I find making those sorts of assumptions preachy and unpleasant!”

…

“It’s all worthless. Deciding that I’m pitiful, making up a backstory for me, creating this personal idealized version of me- This acceptable version of me that you can feel good looking at. Aa..h- They exist you know the sort of people who do that. Those sorts of people have never will never do anything for me.”

Yuno..

“I’m not pitiful, my family gets along great, and I’m not particularly struggling financially. I decided to do what I did of my own free will because I felt it was necessary for me.”

-End of Transcript-

Tear Drop

“Just shut it, will you? You know it all.”

During her voice drama, Yuno explains and calls to attention this new phenomenon within Milgram. Both before and after her the other prisoners conveniently omit the specifics of the information they have heard. Kazui being the most egregious display of this, as he does not bring up hearing the voices at all and only responds to questions after gaining more clarity on the situation. His entire voice drama really comes off as though he’s just leading Es by the nose.

Taking into consideration what was established through her interrogation (the implication that all the prisoners have heard the prevailing theories about their cases) who’s to say Miko has not weaponized the information he’s heard? Omitting he heard it like the others and using it to push the blame more onto the other personality. Whom if we’re being frank would more than likely be willing to take the fall for him anyway.

However, the fact that this is said,

“I (ore) did it. I (boku) didn’t do it! You saw it through Milgram! What do you think?”

Very quickly showcases to me that the one speaking is Miko here not Koto. Koto in the snippet of Double we’ve been shown is questioning what’s wrong,

“Why are you crying?”

If Koto is not aware of what is negatively impacting Miko in the song proper, why would they know what Milgram saw or how Milgram reacted to it? A thing stated to be specific to prisoners beneath Milgram’s control.

This is something alluded to during the second trial commencement notice. At that time Jackalope tells us Koto has been free and unchained this entire time.

Exempt from the rules of Milgram and unable to have punishment administered to them. This means the voices all the prisoners have been hearing as part of their punishments or rewards would not impact him.

So, once again, I ask- How the fuck would he know that anyone saw anything through Milgram? Especially the specific implication and pervasive theory that it was them (Koto) who committed the murders.

Something that gives more credence to this idea is how Koto has even interpreted the song,

“I should have saved you but why are you crying? Rely on me, praise me with your song, I am your saviour.”

As a form of praise and a way in which Miko is relying on him. Simply as if Koto doesn’t see a thing wrong with what was displayed on top of not knowing what is upsetting Miko.

How much Koto knows about the song and Milgram’s response to it is rather questionable as we’ve been expressly told he is not a prisoner proper yet.

This possible way of handling the situation on Miko’s part is oddly reminiscent to how the Devil within Not A Devil attempts to convince the viewers they’re good through lines like,

“Another clandestine rendezvous with myself. Drained, oh so drained, introspection and in prayer.”

MeMe

“Snuggle together and say, “Good night” switch, shake up that brain.”

“The minus energy that I swallowed hugged me.”

Double (though official translation liable to change)

“I should have saved you but why are you crying? Rely on me, praise me with your song, I am your saviour.”

“No worries, no worries everything’s fine. This is just a silly joke.”

Trial 1 Voice Drama

“Of course, I want to think of all this as a joke…Wouldn’t anyone?”

“Calm down, that’s just a rumor.”

MeMe

“I won’t forgive you if this is happening to me even though I’m right.”

“All those ridiculous accusations.”

“Now shut up and give me your signature. Not a devil, I’m not a devil. So, sayeth the devil.”

MeMe

“I’m probably not to blame, it’s probably nothing.” – “Why am I here?  It must be a mistake, right?”

Taking the court terminology, Miko implicating Koto as the culprit with his denial firmly puts him in the role of John Doe (plaintiff) and Koto in the position of Richard Roe (defendant). Beginning a back and forth of finger pointing where Miko implicates the other and Koto can either deny the accusation or accept it.

This makes his second voice dramas title “Neoplasm” very apt naming. Because over the course of Milgram, the mold (interpretation) Mikoto was put under as this every man, silly little office worker caricature has been reshaped into to something new and abnormal.

Miko’s possible response to this new perception of his character being pretending to be Koto to fit this new shape he’s been given within the voice drama while attempting to save face isn’t surprising coming from him. He would know that Koto uses ore as well. Since, the audience has repeated it consistently over the course of the intermission. If Miko has been hearing the audience, as has been implied, it’d be very difficult for him to not be made aware of how Koto behaves.

Taking into consideration how much the other has been discussed, drawn, and written about. It has been more than shown that the prisoners know our speculations, in regard to their cases, and they’ve all been shown making attempts to confirm the validity of the statements they’ve heard over the course of their voice dramas. As such, there is a real possibility that Miko has heard the argument that the other committed the murders and he is in fact an innocent harmless individual.

Information that he’d rightfully take advantage of in this situation. Because it’d be a bit more difficult for people to condemn an innocent and harmless individual. Even if the other one did it and the only way to punish Koto was through punishing Miko a few people would be hesitant about doing such a thing. Simply put it would feel wrong to do as it’s dragging down a blameless individual just to get to someone who for all we know may not be at fault either.

We now find ourselves in a very classic dilemma-

MeMe

“The truth will come to reveal itself. I won’t forgive you if this is happening to me even though I’m right.”

“The truth will come to reveal itself. I will NEVER forgive you if this is happening to me even though I’m right.”

“So, I will NEVER forgive you if this is happening to me even though I’m right.”

At this point, or maybe even from the beginning, they’ve just been in a finger pointing competition. And things are only about to get messier.

III.            Voice Drama Title

Now back to the title of the voice drama “Neoplasm” (orz). Remember how I said Neoplasm isn’t technically a word? Well, it’s technically not and is.

As many were quick to point out, Neoplasm refers to a new and abnormal growth of tissue within the human body that could either be benign or malignant. It’s a term to describe the discovery of new tissue growth such as a tumour that was not previously present. However, when this occurrence is discussed, the individual neoplasm is rarely referred to by name instead the phenomenon is usually referred to and discussed as “Neoplasia”.

As you can see in these lists of Human Anatomy & Physiology: Latin and Greek Word-Parts plasm is not included as a suffix.  

Now this may seem like semantics. However, it’s incredibly important to differentiate between these two terms. Neoplasms are the result of Neoplasia. Neoplasia is when neoplasms are formed. Through naming the voice drama Neoplasm Yamanaka plainly stated that a Neoplasm has formed but Neoplasia, the act of it forming, has not been observed.

Through using this term instead of the one usually used in cases of observing (discovering) this new tissue and the process of its formation this comes off as saying though an abnormality has been observed it was present when the patient arrived. Again, unlike in the case of observing Neoplasia when doctors usually go okay this was not here several months ago but it’s here now.

Meaning, the Neoplasm is more than likely not entirely new but it shouldn’t be there, and it wouldn’t normally be there.

Let’s move onto word roots and meanings.

Now we know that Neo has an etymology from Greek

"New, Young, Recent," from Greek neos and "new, young, youthful; fresh, strange; lately, just now," from PIE root *newo-. In the physical sciences, caeno-, ceno- is used in the same sense. Paleo- is an antonym of these terms.

However, modern day definitions of the word (Yes, I said definitions!) are a bit different,

As it can mean “something new” or “new or recent, or in a modern form”.

For example, within Ace Attorney there’s a show called the “The Steel Samurai” the location of this show is stated to be Neo Olde-Tokyo. A new/revived version of old Tokyo. In this case the use of Neo and Olde together better highlight the intricacies of this word.

A more recent example of this would be NEOTWEWY. The title of the revival/follow-up game telling us out the gate this is something new built on the foundation of The World Ends With You (TWEWY). It is also, canonically, a remade form of Shibuya that Joshua made at the end of the original base game. Albeit, one made to be pretty much the same as the original.

So, while the immediate thought would be that it’s something new, it could also mean that it’s something that’s been reformed and shown as “new” that way. Something I’m sure that Miko is fully aware of. In fact, I’d say anything in reference to him would be more likely to use a pop culture meaning! Especially when you take into account his active attempts to keep up with the times and be seen as popular.

Plasm, however, has two roots in terms of etymology: Latin and Greek. In Latin, its root means “mold”. In Greek, it means “something formed”/“formation” or “to shape”.

The term also has modern-day definitions!

The first one is,

“formative or formed material (as of a cell or tissue)”

But there’s also

“Any of the components of protoplasm”

Protoplasm being the building blocks for all life on a cellular level.

In medical science it can also be used as a prefix and a suffix, but let’s focus on the suffix here.

Suffix meaning living substance, tissue.

These definitions of plasm may seem similar, but there is a difference in nuance. The first definition listed here refers to it as the material itself, specifying that it’s used in cells/tissues. The second one refers to the fact that they act as smaller parts to a whole (the whole in this case being the -cellular- foundation of life).

And the third one focuses on what the material makes as a whole. In other words, living substances and/or tissues.

Let’s move back to Koto. Well, we don’t know that much about him, right? Except, since the last trial ended, it’s been stated that he’s shown up more often. This includes in the trial two website voice lines, somewhere we’ve never seen him before! This, in addition to the usage of ore in the Double preview, seem to indicate that he’s solidifying more of an identity for himself.

Going back to the topic of the lettering choices on the CD cover real quick; specifically the division idea brought up earlier. Considering I’m as the whole and Miko and Koto as (MeMe) in this framework once again reiterates that Koto may possibly be growing a sense of identity outside of Miko and vice versa. Since Miko may be growing a more solid sense of identity as well after becoming aware of the other. You know, something you could also put as separating/dividing from Miko?

Neoplasms themselves aren’t really a big deal unless it turns out they are cancerous. In fact, benign ones are extremely common.

This is something that is once again rather fitting for Mikoto’s character and the implementation of it within Milgram. Allow me to elaborate, Mikoto as a character has subverted expectations from his first trial. There is a clear pattern with him of taking things that are usually considered normal and distorting them into something easily perceived as extreme, odd, or out of the norm.

Turning the mundane into the terrifying, a very common thing done within the horror genre.

This is one of the reasons Gunsli finds it very exciting that his second trial will be releasing in October. As it’s not just the month of his birthday but Halloween. So, she’s really hoping for some more horror inspired imagery with all those very common horror lighting tropes.

IV.            Horror Influences

From static effects,

To flat lighting from a television,

Those fisheye lens sort of shot at the beginning,

Then there’s this shot,

and the usage of both anamorphic lenses and vignetting.

(Side note; if you want to look more into how lighting utilized in horror, check out this video- x)

The atmospheric lens allows the lighting to look more ethereal. This, on top of the colouring used for the lights, makes the overall shot feel cold and liminal. The usage of a wide shot also emphasises this feeling of isolation.

In addition, the pillar at the foreground on his right makes him look crowded in while the emptiness to his left highlights how alone he is. This is also where the victim comes in from. The framing and direction here make it look as though the victim is cornering Mikoto.

That combined with the vignetting, makes the shot the visual equivalent of being “between a rock and a hard place”. This is likely a representation of how Miko was feeling at the time of the crime; trapped and as if he had to do this to survive.

Leading into another point, the way that all of the shots in MeMe are set up. Is something I find interesting, because a lot of them are ones usually used for victims/horror protagonists. Something that contrasts wildly with both his crime and how callously it’s shown. This puts Mikoto in the interesting position of both predator and prey.

For Gunsli this is all the stuff that just makes a horror fan go, “Yeah, this guy... This guy fucking watches horror movies for fun doesn’t he.” while everyone else who’s normal and hasn’t watched almost every horror movie they had access to goes how do you know this- Just for her to respond with, “I’m not the one on trial here he’s the fucking murderer; this ain’t about me!”.

All while managing to draw attention to and show off Mikoto’s genuine love and eye for photography. Possibly even nodding towards a bit of an interest in cinematography.

Q.07 What are your hobbies?

Mikoto: shopping / darts / photography / cycling

Every shot in MeMe meticulously planned out and executed in a way startlingly similar to how his murders are alluded to have gone down.

All this makes it difficult for them to say the team doesn’t know what they’re doing when it comes to him. Mikoto’s character in general turns the benign into something cancerous or the mundane into something controversial. A skill that has made him the topic of many divisive conversations and instances in Milgram’s history.

The usage of neoplasm could also touch on how Koto was immediately stigmatized by most of the fandom. Just as everyone assumes the worst-case scenario from tumours showing up, they assumed the worst of Koto’s entire existence. From statements such as,

“Having a person with D.I.D being a murderer is bad rep” to “I can’t believe they gave someone with D.I.D a murderous personality again”.

All this, despite the fact we don’t know who committed the actual crime. Though we’re pretty sure it was Miko for multiple reasons Gunsli has covered elsewhere.

Closing remarks from Gunsli- It’s always fun to write with other people but it’s always the best when I get to write with Star. I initially came to her for help with this one because I was just in the worst of moods due to multiple circumstances. However, this wound up taking so long mostly because there was just so much to cover and talk about. Plus, we haven’t even went into his cover yet. I was rather excited about guessing Mikoto’s second trial cover song correctly~ However, in the excitement of that I made some rather hasty observations myself like guessing that the door was train doors. Luckily, I took a step back to observe it more and talked over a lot of things with Star. Hope people enjoy all of this and sorry for leaving the TL;DR to you Star.

Here’s my (Star’s) parting words. Or rather, image-

-We try and have fun here

[subwaytostardew]

▽ Subway to Stardew - Emmet 8-Heart Event ▽

This plays after getting at least 8 hearts with Emmet and entering the Railroad between 9AM - 4PM on a Thursday after viewing his 7 heart event.

You recieve this letter when you reach 8 hearts with Emmet!

Commentary and progress under the readmore.

▷ Station Steward Thylak

I DID NOT REALIZE THAT THIS EVENT WOULD BE THAT LONG... I could have sworn it was around 14 minutes max! I was worried that the battle stuff went by too quickly! It's almost 30 minutes long! And that's with me clicking away faster! Emmet really meant it when he said he wanted to spend all the livelong day together...

I thought it was going to be roughly 18 minutes. NOPE. WOOPS. This what happens when you write possibly too much.

We are bad at making short events. Vanilla events are around 1-3 minutes long. A day in Stardew lasts 14 minutes and 10 seconds. I would not recommend trying to play this mod spoiler free on multiplayer because time does not freeze and you will die if you don't skip the events. I wouldn't want to shorten the events either... Cutting down their infodumps would just be wrong.

We had a few requests to have a battle event which made me 😅 because I personally couldn't imagine that going well (truth over ideals...). This event was partially made to shut that idea down. The whole tunnel scene is mostly me trying to write an in-story reason as to why there won't be a battle with the farmer against Ingo... Emmet is competitive! This is not just limited to battles but extends to being your best friend! Behind the scenes... I'm just too tired to write out more battles. I actually really dislike single battle format. I'm not making an Ingo battle event. You already have three games to battle him in. I refuse to make more battle events for the time being.

I say that but there's another half-finished double battle event between submas that I switched tracks from to work on Emmet's 8 heart event... I'll finish that eventually.

Anyways... the creation process did not go by quickly at all either. I sure do have a lot to say on that matter. I do all my coding in google docs (terrible, I know) and so far we have had to make 3 seperate documents becuase things start to break at around 40 pages. The document before Emmet's 8 heart event made it to 64 pages before I abandoned it for a new document.

The longest document we have is around 80 pages along. Which usually contain the draft scripts of multiple events. code documents however take up a lot more since it's basically a giant wall of text. So when Emmet's 8 heart event started to slow down the current code document (the third iteration). We had to give the event its own space.

Emmet's 8 heart event ended up being 36 pages long alone! Also if you didn't know, Stardew's event format doesn't allow for line breaks so I have been staring at a 36 page wall of text for weeks. I plan to upload a video compiling all the different options later because I feel like all of the "good" options for battle... don't quite make sense in the context of the rest of the story. The farmer is supposed to not be good at battle and lose because they got overwhelmed with information. As the one writing out all the battle options though, I can't bring myself to act like I'm bad at battling. The winning options are extra silly just to justify a loss and because I couldn't bring myself to lie about Wild Charge not being a guaranteed OHKO on Archeops either. Especially since Emmet brings out damage calculations in a few of the options.

On that topic, all of the battle options play out accurately in a real double battle! I tested. Every. Single. Path. In Pokemon Showdown between the halves of Emmet's team.

I had nightmares of reliving this same battle over and over because that's all I did when I was awake. Make it stopppppp 😭

The lines about them practicing were references to me actually simulating everything in Showdown! Emmet's frustration is also based on how making this event took over my brain so now I struggle to comprehend how someone who doesn't know what to do in this battle would feel... Thank you Kade for helping me with that part ^^;;;

Your welcome =3

I actually enjoyed the Pokémon Showdown part - when it comes to Pokémon Battles, I have dabbled a little bit into the competitive side of things. Or at least the massive game of 4D Chess... trying to predict your opponent etc. Bait them into making a mistake, etc. There was a good time where we did nothing but Pokémon Battles for a night. And it was fun.

I am in no way good at competitive side of things - (I lose lot but that's okay.) especially in the double battle format. Single Battles I could do. (Though once again, I'm average at best) However I think the most memorable battle I ever had was back in Pokémon X and Y, where I managed to chip away and stall a Mega Aggron with a Umbreon.. And I think Umbreon was my last Pokémon but I kept using Moonlight to keep my health up. My kid self was super surprised and ecstatic that I beaten the odds... but whenever I do Pokémon Showdown I'm either testing battle stuff or making teams. I'm addicted to team compositions and doing a combination of different Pokémon even if it's not the competitive Meta....

I have the choices sorted into good/bad routes in my mind so in most of the routes, Emmet criticizes the player's decisions based on type advantage, STAB, and target. I was torn between the best and worst options for this recording but thanks to Kade's input, you get to see Durant ramming into Emmet instead of him getting mad at you for conducting Shadow Claw on Galvantula.

Battling Emmet as a first time trainer is not going to go well! Not only is he too competitive and he refuses to let you win (unlike Ingo), he pretty much sets you up for failiure. I'm sorry Emmet but Galvantula's stats are not intended for making her a physical attacker (emphasis on the Egg Move at what cost...).

Not to mention... Emmet is a Battle Facility Head. And you don't get to battle the Subway Bosses in the mainline games unless you have a somewhat decent team halfway through the game. Even still! They can both wipe the floor with you if you're not aware that they are using battle items...

Though I interpret Emmet not going easy on someone as him challenging them to push themselves and exceed expectations. Both Ingo and Emmet as characters encourage others in their own way, Ingo through words and Emmet I believe through his actions. Though he also can say some encouraging things.

Not the most encouraging if you compare their quotes pages... Customer service and communication isn't exactly his forte... But Emmet wants you to do your best and win against him! He likes seeing serious battlers like him! He just won't let you win unless if you push yourself to do your best. You'll have to. He doesn't really have the most beginner-friendly approach...

Considering you the Farmer, have no idea what a Pokémon even is. (You're practically learning everything from Ingo, Emmet, Elesa etc.) The fact you get challenged to a Battle because Emmet wants to share his interests with you - to have you better understand Pokémon.

He just struggles with the fact that, he is essentially challenging someone with no real battle experience and it's a Double Battle at that. Controlling two Pokémon at once?! Think about the effort it takes to command one Pokémon. We all seen the Anime and how trainers struggle to connect with their partners because they're new. They're just starting. They aren't going to be Battle Facility levels of skill.

Not to mention that Emmet is a little deprived in the valley and hasn't really battled any other new passengers in quite some time. At most, he battled Iris once when she came to visit, Ingo (who's Pokemon are optimized for countering/pissing him off), and himself (I had the mental image of him sitting in the field practicing for this event like an old man playing chess against himself in a park). He's a little too far gone to fully understand what a beginner would think in this situation other than mayyyybe it would take a moment to catch them up to speed. (I would know... I swear those option paths rewired my brain...)

After inputting all of their data into Showdown, I had actually forgotten that Galvantula and Durant are Emmet's Doubles Line team while Eelektross and Archeops are the Super Doubles Line team when deciding the matchups. (Been a while since they were in the Battle Subway huh...) Story-wise, I was thinking that Emmet should be with his ace and that he wouldn't really trust anyone else with Archeops since... he has higher support needs (depression bird 💔). Eelektross and Archeops are paired up because of Gastro Acid and Defeatist. I was thinking that Galvantula and Durant are a bit more beginner-friendly; they can take a loss a bit more easilly (a little less so in Galvantula's case... she's a hater). The farmer had already met Durant earlier in the 4-heart event so he'd volunteer to return the favor of fighting for you. Once you win his trust, he's more than happy to help. As for Galvantula... She's testing to see if she can trust her clingy child with you.

I'm excited to dive into the Pokémon NPC stories... Durant and Excadrill especially.

Durant was originally going to have Choice Scarf instead of Quick Claw to help narrow down the options. It was a pain reorganizing my notes and options all over again to lump not only move choices but turn order in mind. My notes were a mess.

Durant and Galvantula are a very luck-based combination so it was ultimately easier to write the different option paths with that in mind since Stardew's event format is verrrrrrrrrrrry linear. All of the options need to merge back into the same event (well... besides the option to refuse his friendship/battle which ends the event in the tunnel). Durant has lowered accuracy while Galvantula has higher critical hit ratios, I could write the battles based on their luck which is great because I wanted to force a loss.

I thought it would be a little too... reductive (it sure would reduce the amount of content >.>) and unrealistic for the player to impress Emmet with a victory on their first battle. Emmet sees this battle as a test on if you can follow his train of thought and be a good match for him because he's a little bit dependent on you for emotional regulation. He kind of expects you as his favorite passenger to have twin telepathy like Ingo since that's his standard operating procedure. You won't. Because you're not Ingo. You're just some weird farmer he got attached to. With the setup of a battle, I wanted this event to develop the farmer and Emmet's relationship to show that they aren't exactly perfect for each other (and Will say things that can be wrongly misinterpreted) but ultimately they will put in the effort to communicate and make things work. They won't have the best communication! But it's there.

While Ingo has a proper library confession, this event doubles as Emmet's "confession" of sorts. Emmet is already pretty openly affectionate by this point and I wanted to make it somewhat ambiguous as to whether or not his attachment to you is romantic or strictly platonic. To him, it doesn't really matter, but he does want you all to himself. He's not fond of sharing!

But... While Emmet's event may be more platonic in intent, you can still reject him. It's a lot harsher than Ingo's because refusing to even let him try to be a better friend for you is pretty harsh in itself. Ingo's is mostly the choice of whether or not you want to send him back to 6 hearts for more dialogue variety (it's really easy to miss dialogue when you try to max out their hearts as soon as possible! We're making lines for every day, season, and heart level.) Rejecting Emmet sends you back to 2 hearts and overrides his daily dialogue for the day with him asking if you're still friends, apologizing, and then getting too upset to say anything more.

Anyways!

From the start, I wanted Emmet to be like Nemona; awkward in their attachment, somewhat intimidating in their obsession/competitiveness, and thinks of the player as their savior from loneliness. He wants to be the best friend you have because you're the best friend he has. It's only fair. Best rival for life, favorite passenger, same thing.

The mountain pass events were actually made because Emmet's original schedule included him waiting around near the bushes there like Nemona stalking the player on their gym journey. NPCs actually can't path there so when he did, he was just deleted from the save!

I also stumbled across a bug back when I made the very first introduction event where a question loops unless if you pick a certain option. I kept that with Emmet forcing you to keep battling with him in mind as a slight reference to how Nemona doesn't let you say no to being her "best rival for life". This question also makes SMAPI hate you!

Gotta love Pokémon's false sense of 'Sure you have a choice. Your choice is always YES.'

There's probably a more fitting flower for Emmet outside of poppies. I just looked up every flower in Stardew (some of them aren't real...) and their meanings in flower language to come to the conclusion of poppies. The meanings in Emmet's event refer to the white poppy in particular. White. Rest. Oblivion. It fits. Good enough. It was a bit difficult to find more on the flower language of poppies in English (particularly the "Oblivion" part) so I resorted to Japanese sites for more information.

In English, the meaning of "Rest" seems to precede every other meaning. Poppies are used in death memorials. Emmet and the farmer did accidentally develop a shared theme of dying (overwork exhaustion, slimes, the mines, etc... Emmet can't get a break. I'm sorry.) but I wasn't sure if Kade was okay with the theme of death being emphasized. With that in mind, I was stunned when I that saw that her first battle map draft included a graveyard. The implication that Emmet picked flowers from a memorial site...

In my mind - the area is an old train stop in between the desert area and the forest/mountains that lead into Pelican Town. Also figured there would be an abandon farm - considering how Pelican Town is struggling it makes sense that potentially other places are not in best of shape either.

The graveyard is possibly dead relatives of whatever family or farmer made their life near the rails. Of course a lot of time has passed... So much so that nature has taken back what was theirs in the first place.

I always make up stories when having a location in mind and this area parallels with the tunnel Ingo takes you through to stargaze around 10 hearts. That area being an abandon coal mining operation.... Coal, Wood, etc. was used to powered steam trains so makes sense for there to be a source for it. I'm not the best when it comes to filling up Tiled Maps with decor - but I at least put down enough for Thylak to come in and make it more fitting for Stardew

The battlefield underwent quite a few revisions, one was having the battle area be more centered, and changing the old warehouse/worker area to be more like a train repair station with a water stop. I wanted it to feel like a place where Emmet goes to keep himself busy when he's told to take a break from working on the station.

Here's the final map! The battle area had to be shrunken down to fit in an event. More grass was added because I kept losing track of Joltik in the dirt. There's more flowers for Emmet to observe the quality of and pick tge best ones as gifts that he's too nervous to give the farmer until they wilt and dry. Poppies by the gravestones, of course!

I also did attempt to make a proper scrapbook sprite for when I eventually have Emmet give you his gift, but I never got around to implementing it properly since... I'm not familliar with adding custom items and its implementation changes in the 1.6 update.

Despite having access to the modding alpha, I've been procrastinating on migrating to 1.6 since HD Portraits isn't supported yet (I know... 1.6 releases in 3 weeks...).

WOO 1.6 WE ARE NO WHERE NEAR READY FOR ALL THE STUFF THAT POSSIBLY GOING TO BREAK. LOL.

Until next time! Thank you for reading!

[ofliterarynature]

JUNE 2023 WRAP UP

loved liked okay no thanks (reread) bookclub*

An Unsuitable Heir | The Winter of the Witch | An Unnatural Vice | Bloom* | An Unseen Attraction | Masters in this Hall | (The Mislaid Magician) | Gilded Cage | The Age of Innocence | (The Grand Tour) | Any Old Diamonds | The Rat-Catcher’s Daughter | (Sorcery & Cecelia) | (The Goblin Emperor) | A Gentleman’s Position | The Duchess of Bloomsbury Street | Dust and Shadow | A Seditious Affair | A Fashionable Indulgence | Subtle Blood | Proper English | Range

Let’s just say I was feeling a bit unhinged this month…

I don't know what was up with my brain this month (it was stress, probably. ugh.), but it was comfort-reads-only central. Which spun out of control a little with the KJ Charles, but we'll get to that.

Range: Why Generalists Triumph in a Specialized World started things off with a great non-fic pick. It spoke so deeply to me that it made me very angry at the world while also being very comforting. Would highly recommend.

Dust and Shadow is Sherlock Holmes solves Jack the Ripper, but hewing much closer to canon than say, that other one I fell in love with last year (The Angel of the Crows). I couldn't help comparing the two, and while it was interesting seeing each author's interpretations of the Ripper case, this one did not come out on top for me.

The Duchess of Bloomsbury Street is a sort-of sequel memoir to the author's collection of letters published as 84 Charing Cross Road that I read last month and loved. A little different but still a delight, and I've got another one of her related memoirs waiting for me on my desk right now.

The Goblin Emperor... what can I say, my brain needed comfort, I caught up on the AO3 tag, and thought why not. It was amazing to go back and see all the little bits of Maia I'd forgotten.

Sorcery & Cecelia I picked up partially as a consequence of my KJ Charles/historical romance rampage that fully put me off of the other audiobooks I already had checked out. I've been meaning to reread them for a while (it's probably been a decade) because I wanted to explore my mixed memories of the two sequels. And I don't blame younger me! The original book is a delight sort of in the vein of Diana Wynne Jones and The Enchanted Forest Chronicles, with adventures and almost a comedy of manners element to it. The much later sequels lose a lot of the whimsy and brightness, are much more serious and adult, and are much more explicitly mystery novels. Now I love a mystery novel, and I think if you distance them from the original book they're not too bad! The Grand Tour is the worst, I think, both because of the unexpected shift in style and because I don't think the epistolary format they chose works well (I really would have loved to see some letters they wrote to other people, imo, rather than diary entries). The Mislaid Magician brings things back around much closer to the original novel's format both literally and narratively, if not in style, and I liked it a great deal.

This next one goes out to Lauren, who will probably never read this but - I finally read The Age of Innocence! Not the copy you gave me, but I did it. It wasn't quite to my taste, but it absolutely fits with what I know of your other favorite things. Sorry this was like 8 years too late.

Bloom I've had on my shelf for years and it's totally my doing that we read it for book club - it was a nice read, I love the art style, but ultimately it was a bit forgettable. Maybe if it'd focused on resolving the non-romantic conflicts as well, idk.

It took me MUCH longer to get to Winter of the Witch than I had planned, but I did! It felt a little clunky trying to get all the ends tied up, but overall I liked it, I was very glad to get away from the politics of the second book. This was such a well written series, I definitely recommend it, but it also made me feel angry and anxious enough while reading it that I can't see myself ever revisting it. (I'll definitely keep an eye out for more of the author's work though).

AND NOW FOR THE KJ CHARLES!!!

I started off the month finishing up the Will Darling/English books, which, do not follow my example, you should absolutely read in chronological order (and pay attention to character names!). These were not books I fell immediately in love with, but exposure and persistence, not to mention some great side characters, won me over. I also cannot BELIEVE that KJ waited until the very very end to introduce the "proteges" concept, and it's the best thing I've ever heard I am emotionally devastated (and cackling, lmao).

I've mentioned elsewhere my accidental discovery (too late) that the next 3 series were related, but I did manage at least to start with the correct one. Society of Gentlemen was...okay. The first one might actually be the worst KJ Charles I've read so far, but the other two were definitely better, if not exactly to my taste. I like the mystery/action/adventure plots more, I suppose, rather than...politics? I think? and respectability is boring anyways.

I managed to accidentally skip over Sins of the Cities directly into the Lilywhite Boys, which is a pity, because they're much more closely related to each other than Society (which honestly you don't need to read beforehand). Even without the more detailed background from Sins, I LOVED the Lilywhite novels and novellas. Thieves and shady characters who are extremely competent, excellent lovers, a little violent, and with their own moral codes are catnip for me, I could not have resisted.

I then went back to Sins of the Cities, which were also good! The leads in the first book were sweet but a little bland, the love/hate thing going on the second book was fantastic, and I loved that the third book had a genderqueer/nb lead. I appreciated getting all the background to events hinted at in the Lilywhite books, but I also admit I spent less time focused on the murders and more on "ok but HOW does X become the Earl???????" I had so many theories lol, none of them right. I just wonder if these would have hit a little harder if I'd read them first.

As I write this in July, I'm still working my way through the rest of KJ's catalogue but I think the worst of my brain fever is over, and I'm hoping to soon have the mental capacity to read the new Victoria Goddard I've been ignoring for a couple of months. Wish me luck, and happy reading!

[houseofsnarry]

Because the journey is full of meaning and wonder, and the acorn is just as splendorous as the oak tree, the House of Snarry presents a Snarry fanworks rec’ list where every entry is currently marked as not complete.

1) Spicy Polaroids by Soltituss

Format: Art | Art count: 9 Chapters | Rating: Explicit

Summary:

Private collection of photographs. Severus really likes to take them during their spicy time.

~*~

2) Brighter Than Bright by LilaDiurne

Format: Fic | Word count: 183,104 | Rating: Explicit

Summary:

England, 1814. At twenty years old, Harry Weasley is a clever, if somewhat sheltered Omega who has hardly ever left the small town of Hogsmeade, where he grew up. He would not say that he is lonely, just that the days are too long. Now that most of his siblings have moved on, Harry occupies his time the best he can while dreaming of London high society. Nothing much interests him apart from his books and the letters he receives from his brothers, so when the news arrives that the Longbottom heir has returned to take ownership of his father’s estate, Harry doesn’t make much of it. After all, it couldn’t possibly affect him. Nor could the arrival of a certain Mr Snape, the rude and arrogant Alpha who deems Harry “barely tolerable.” No, none of that could possibly affect Harry’s life, could it? Why yes, this is the Pride and Prejudice inspired a/b/o snarry fic you’ve all been secretly craving!Why yes, this is the Pride and Prejudice inspired a/b/o snarry fic you’ve all been secretly craving!

~*~

3) The Potions and Promises of the Half-Blood Prince by elliebennett

Format: Fic | Word count: 105,541 | Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Summary:

The Ministry of Magic has a fantastic idea, like it always does: The Eternal Entwining Festival. Not only has it got a stupid name, the ridiculous courting festival is about to create a lot of trouble for Harry Problems Potter, who just wants to keep his head down and pass his NEWTs. The last thing he needs is people sending him love letters in the mail - and whatʼs this about bloody ribbons round his wrist? - Or: Slow Burn Snarry with ridiculous wizarding courting thrown in because itʼs FUN, and also a crap ton of magical theory, some introspective character study and even a lil dash of philosophy and humour. And George Weasleyʼs left ear. Because reasons.

~*~

4) The Marriage Stone by Josephine Darcy [archived by HPFandom_archivist]

Format: Fic | Word count: 280,722 | Rating: Mature

Summary:

To avoid the machinations of the Ministry, Harry must marry Severus Snape, who reluctantly agrees to protect the Boy Who Lived. But marriage to Snape is only the beginning of Harry's problems. Voldemort is on the move again, and before too long Harry's marriage may determine the fate of the world.

~*~

5) Wearing Only a Sneer by pluperfectsunrise

Format: Fic | Word count: 92,055 | Rating: Explicit

Summary:

With the war finally over, Harry Potter is dead set on losing her virginity. What will happen when she decides that the perfect candidate for a partner in this endeavor is Severus Snape?

~*~

6) However I Fall by mia_ugly

Format: Fic | Word count: 104,302 | Rating: Explicit

Summary:

In one timeline, Severus lives. In the other, he dies. In both, he falls in love.

~*~

7) More Than Dark by Likelightinglass

Format: Fic | Word count: 27,867 | Rating: Explicit

Summary:

Severus is imprisoned in solitary confinement in Azkaban with no idea of who won the war. He is ill, underfed, and slowly losing his mind. When Harry eventually takes him in and nurses him back to health, he can scarcely believe it's real.

Discord || Recs Lists

[konoha--files]

Four Pillars Of New Konohagakure

Shikamaru Nara

Man with 200 IQ aka Smartest person in whole Shinobi world

Advisor of Hokage and chief of staff at Hokage Office

One of only two members Rookie 9 to become Jonin after war.

Crucial part of Allied Shinobi

It's said that the Shinobi Alliance worked due to Shikamaru of Konohagakure (Source: Shikamaru Hiden)

Fun Fact: Before getting married Shikamaru used to send letters to Temari instead of emails as he didn't found the medium trustworthy.(Source:Gaara Hiden)🥰

When Gaara found out about Shikamaru and Temari's relationship he started reading Icha Icha Paradise so he could understand why he didn't saw this coming like Kankuro .(Source:Gaara Hiden)

Sakura Haruno/Sakura Uchiha

Strongest Kunoichi of her generation and one of the Three Strongest Shinobi alive.

Best Medic Ninja in Five Great Shinobi Nations and Head of Medical Department of Konohagakure.

One of only two members Rookie 9 to become Jonin after war.

Started mental health clinics for war orphaned children in Konoha and Other Shinobi Nations (Inspiration being Mirai, Naruto, Sasuke and Sai so other kids could get the mental and emotional support her friends weren't able to). (Source: Sakura Hiden)

Gaara acknowledges her as a Shinobi of his class in terms of power and has acknowledged her as an example of Shinobi who's very powerful despite not being a part of any ninja clan. (source: Gaara Hiden)

Fun Fact: She not only surpassed tsunade in in fighting and medical skills but also kinda in gambling (i.e. cards) she has a genius level memory that she can memorize all the moments of cards to the point that she knows all of your cards and thus win, lose or draw it's all in her hands, all thanks to her analytical skills that rivals Sharingan - implied by Sasuke in Chunin arc and Boruto-Tip: Never play cards with Sakura cuz it's bound to be an unfair game😅. ( Source: Sasuke Retsuden)

Sasuke Uchiha

One of the two Strongest Shinobi Alive, The one with the Sharingan and Rinnegan. Only Shinobi equal to Naruto.

Known as Shadow Hokage, one who protects Konoha from outside through the shadows.

Former Avenger.

Sacrificed normal peaceful life i.e. living with his wife Sakura and beloved daughter Sarada to protect Shinobi world from threat that might be greater than Kaguya, as he was only one who could do this mission (due to his visual prowess) which led him to staying away from his family for years. (Source: Naruto Gaiden)

Likes to blend science of nature in his jutsus for example: creating barrier of pure water i.e. pure H2O so it doesn't conduct electricity like normal water and creating ice using water nature and wind nature together. (Source: Sasuke Shinden: the star pupil)

Fun Fact: Sasuke was probably the last person of his generation to read Icha Icha Paradise considering even Gaara was 12 years ahead of him in this case.(Source:Naruto Shinden: Parent and Child day)(On that day Sasuke found out that Karma exists-any smart person can guess what I'm trying to say)😅

Just like Naruto he is still a Genin even though he'smore powerful than any Kage, Except Naruto.

Naruto Uzumaki

One of the two Strongest Shinobi Alive, the one of the last two jinchuriki and also the strongest one.

The Seventh Hokage aka Nanadaime.

Man because of whom the formation of Shinobi Alliance was possible in first place.

Has to do the mountains of paper work, sometimes he overworks himself leading him not being able to spend much time with his family(Hinata, Boruto and Himawari), all for the well being and development of village that he considers as a family to him.

Most unpredictable Shinobi in history of Shinobi world.

Before becoming a Hokage he used to train next generation ninjas of academy occasionally during his Hokage training.(source:The Last movie and Sakura Hiden)

Fun Fact: He is only Hokage to be directly promoted from Genin to Hokage. (but considering the fact that he is more powerful than any other kage, Jonin and chunin so participating in Chunin exam at that point would be pointless)😀

Note: 1)Most of the points mentioned above are after war, source being Canon Novels and Manga.

2) Before anyone asks why Kakashi Sensei isn't on list it's because I consider him as very foundation of this four pillars, the work they are doing at this point was possible due to Kakashi aka Rokudaime's support and guidance.

[sullustangin]

For the WIP ask game: what is Theron Shan and Birthdays about?

Thanks for asking!!!

I've sat on this for months now. Sorry about the wait! In part, I was wrestling with what it was going to be during the last stages of the Yavin fic and the beginning of the Ziost fic. By that point, it was starting to spiral....

Ok, lemme start at the beginning. This is the Carbonite Years fic I'm currently working on. Initially, it was just Theron Shan and his birthdays (which sucked) over the five years Eva was gone. Birthday 1 was him telling her to leave, Birthday 2 was video evidence she was dead, Birthday 3 was finding out the truth, Birthday 4 was leaving the Republic, and Birthday 5 was writing a soppy letter in some field out on Yavin.

....That's not how it turned out.

Basically, Gary from Analytics from the first chronological fic, Who She Is in the Dark, decided to tell me he and hubby Colton (Theron got them a mixer for their wedding) finally found a surrogate and were going to have the kid they'd planned for over the last 6 years. Yes, right slap in the middle of the Eternal Empire's control of the Republic. "Well, the only way the kid's life could go was up from here."

Then Theron's therapist -- and yes, I do make him get one -- turned into Frank, who is useful to the story but also clawing at the edges of other things.

And then Jonas Balkar decides to be introspective and everyone needs a good year to digest that.

And then Juli the Bith from Accounting needed to fill a baby prep class for the local family planning center.

And then the overall "Death of the Republic" theme sort of plonked along in my head, to the point where there is a devolution of powers and faith in institutions to the point where Theron leaves. Checking in on him once a year doesn't give us the perspective to see how someone who so ardently supported the Republic would just leave. In the comics, in the book, and in SoR, Theron pretty much dismisses leaving the Republic or his service to that government. That's just... never going to happen.

And then it does. And he leaves everything behind. Everyone behind, including Trant, the one consistent person in his life since he was a new recruit to SIS.

How do we get to that point? Corruption is part of the Republic -- we saw it the class stories. The Empire is always a threat -- why not now? Why leave? For what? Some popsicle out on Zakuul, who may or may not have had a combative relationship with Theron? (Obviously, I chose the Neutral-LS Rep romance option (easier than others), but imagine Theron having an absolute crap relationship with a Dark Side Imperial -- there is some legwork to be done on the headcanon/writing end to make it make sense.)

Then you add on the personal toll of who lives and who dies over the years, and who do we just lose contact with.

As a result of all this swarming, I decided we didn't just see Theron on his birthdays; we see him on Eva's as well. I imagine that Eva and Theron have their birthdays about 3-5 months apart, so whatever happens on his birthday -- we see the fallout on hers.

As a result, the 5 chapter format quickly became 10 -- His Birthday 16 ATC then Her Birthday 16 ATC and so on. I have it plotted to His Birthday 21 ATC, which is the last birthday without her. Eva is back just in time to turn 26 (finally) in 21 ATC, 5 years later than anticipated. (I did write a short fic for that for Eva's birthday celebration awhile back). I'm currently toying with the transition to Eva's pov after defrost.

So that's the fic that's currently up and running right now over on AO3. (linking to the tumblr post because tumblr doesn't like external links)

[zaharya]

Scrivener 3 to AO3 – expanded export format (with download link) P2

I hope you find this guide and the provided export format to download useful! To enable me to make more such resources, and make them available for everyone, please consider supporting me via KoFi! I love sharing my stuff freely and don't want to paywall anything, but I also have to eat – every contribution helps and is greatly appreciated!

Hello friends! This is a continuation of this post here, for people who use more complex formatting than just italics, and still want to export their fics into AO3 directly from Scrivener without losing that formatting.

Now, it should be said first that there are levels to this, and depending on what kind of formatting you are using, you'll need to go through more or fewer steps.

You only want italics and a horizontal rule between scenes (requires manual line-spacing by using empty lines in your draft)

You want all the above, as well as automatic line-spacing (without having to keep empty lines in your draft)

You want the above, as well as existing paragraph styles such as centered or right-aligned text and blockquotes

You want the above, as well as not predefined paragraph and character styles such as bold or underlined text and strikethrough

The first two can be achieved by following my previous post about this (or by downloading and importing my format – import instructions in the other post). The other two expand the same principle that is used to achieve 2, but are more "sensitive" to inconsistencies. This post here is going to provide the additional steps to achieve the paragraph and character style HTML formatting on compile. It will also include further explanations of certain steps where people often tripped up.

Let's go then. Follow this previous post up to the heading Assign Section Layouts, or download and import the provided .scrformat file that is linked there.

If you import the provided .scrformat file, and you have not deleted/renamed Scrivener's built in text styles, two paragraph styles (Centered Text and Block Quote) should already work for you! I recommend reading the explanation of how to set it up anyway though, in case you want to add a different paragraph style to the format at some point.

Existing (Paragraph) Styles

Alright, so in the last post, we went into the Styles tab of the Format Settings, added a new paragraph style (Regular Text), and defined the Paragraph prefix/suffix. Now, Regular Text wasn't based on any of the existing Project Paragraph Styles, which is also why it didn't matter what you called it. This matters now!

While you're still in the Styles tab, click again on the + in the top right corner to add a new paragraph style. However, unlike with Regular Text, this time you choose one of the existing Project Paragraph Styles and override it. (Don't worry about losing anything, you're in a plain text format anyway.)

This will create a Style with the same name as the Project Paragraph Style you chose. This is important, if they're not named the same it won't work. If you rename one, you have to rename the other as well.

Anyway, there are four fields again: Prefix/suffix and Paragraph prefix/suffix. Put the HTML code required for your desired style into the Prefix/suffix fields – e.g. the HTML code for block quotes is < blockquote > and < /blockquote >. For Paragraph prefix/suffix, put the same code as you did for Regular Text!

Why isn't the blockquote code the Paragraph prefix/suffix? Well, paragraph styles may span multiple paragraphs, right? You might have a whole letter in block quotes, which contains several line-breaks. We want the style to include all of it, and we want our line-breaks within the style to still function properly. Therefore, we still want every individual paragraph to be surrounded by the p and /p code, whereas the blockquote and /blockquote code should go at the very beginning and at the very end of the whole section in this style.

Prefix/suffix go where the style begins and ends. Paragraph prefix/suffix goes at the beginning and end of every paragraph within this style.

Based on this principle you can now add any paragraph (or character) styles you want that are already defined in Scrivener.

Important: In order for this to work, you need to actually apply these styles within your editor as well. So if you're wanting centered text, do not just hit the center-align button in your format bar! If you do it like that, the style of that paragraph will still be No Style, and it won't add the HTML code you just defined. Instead, select the style Centered Text from the project text styles to center your text.

This goes for all styles! If you want it to actually be applied on compile, it must also be applied in the editor. Makes sense I'd say.

New (Paragraph or Character) Styles

"But V, what if I want a style that isn't already defined in Scrivener?"

Yes, let's say you want right-aligned or bold text – but there's no preset Paragraph/Character style for that. The solution is simple enough: We'll define it then!

At the bottom of the drop-down menu for the text styles in the format bar, choose Show Styles Panel. This opens, you guessed it, the Styles Panel with all available styles in this project. To define a new style, format your paragraph as you want it in the editor (e.g. hit the right-align or bold button) and then click the little + at the bottom left in the Styles Panel. This will open a little window where you can define a new style.

Now, note here that you can choose which attributes are saved, which brings us to a quick explanation of Character vs Paragraph vs Paragraph+Character Styles.

Let's take three examples: Bold text, right-aligned text, and centered italic text (e.g. for a letter).

Bold text is a character style; all relevant attributes (i.e. the boldness of the font) work on a character level. You can make a single letter or word bold without affecting the rest of the paragraph – which is also how bold text is commonly used.

Right-aligned text is a paragraph style; all relevant attributes (i.e. the text alignment) work on a paragraph level. You cannot right-align a single word within a paragraph – it's the whole paragraph or nothing. The font itself is unaffected.

Centered italic text is a paragraph style with specific character attributes; the relevant attributes are on both paragraph and character level.

This distinction is mostly relevant when you're trying to define Character styles, or paragraph styles with specific character attributes. If you save all information on a paragraph style where there's no particular character attributes applied anyway, it'll turn into a normal paragraph style. For Character styles, however, this is important! Let's say you want to define Bold text – if you save all formatting, it'll always apply bold text to the whole paragraph rather than the specific word(s) you want.

Anyway, as you might've figured, you can now define all the styles your heart desires. Bold, strikethrough, underlined, specifically formatted block quotes – if you can achieve it with your editor, you can save it as a style.

"But V, that's just in my editor, I thought this was about the export format?"

Well, technically you already know how to apply the HTML code to these styles – the same way as for the preset styles. Go back to editing your export format, into the Styles tab of the Format Settings. Just like we selected Block Quote to override earlier, we can now also select any of the new styles we created in the project, e.g. Bold Text.

Again, you put the required HTML code for the respective style into the Prefix/suffix fields. Note that Character styles do not allow you to put anything into the Paragraph prefix/suffix fields! This is because the beginning and end of character styles are usually within one paragraph.

Assign Section Layouts

And here we are again, back with the previous post. In order for any of this to actually be applied, you need to assign your section layout to the section types you are exporting.

Since this step apparently caused some confusion for many people, I'll try to explain why we need to do this.

In your draft, you have different files and/or folders. Based on their structure, Scrivener assigns certain Section Types to those files; e.g. folders are Chapter Headings, files within folders are Scenes. When you compile your draft, each Section Type is assigned a specific layout within the compile format you're using. For example, if you compile a Paperback PDF (preset), the folders will create chapter headings based on the folder name, and the files will create the scenes containing the text in the file itself. [Details about this can be found in the Compile Tutorial, here.]

With Scrivener's preset export formats, these section layouts are already assigned. Since we made this format new, our section layouts are not already assigned – we gotta assign them ourselves.

When exporting for AO3, we generally don't need any headers. All that matters is that your Scenes have the Section Layout "Text Section" assigned to them. This is necessary to actually apply all this HTML formatting we defined.

And that's it!

Here's a link to download my updated format that you can import as explained in the first post. It includes the most common paragraph and character styles already added to the export format – note that you will still need to create the text styles for some of them if they are not Scrivener presets!

❗️IMPORTANT: After importing the format, you still have to assign the section layouts!!!

–––

A continuously updated Masterlist with all my Scrivener 3 tutorials can be found here.

Part 1 | Tutorial Masterlist | KoFi

[holy-guacamoly]

Summary: Destiny works in mysterious ways, doesn't it? Never in your life, you would have imagined that losing your job and spending your last dollars on an overpriced black coffee, would drive you into your soulmate's arms. But here you are, slowly falling for the charming businessman Jean Kirschtein, while babysitting his daughter. A.N. I edited the formation on my phone while on the way back from a festival. I will fix it later that night. ❤️ Dad!Jean Kirschtein x Fem! Reader Warnings: swearing Wordcount: 2.7 k <- Prologue Chapter 1

A heartbreaking sob rumbled through your chest. Your arms slung tightly around your shivering form, desperately trying to keep you from shattering into pieces.  Rent was due today. In a few days, the first dunning letters would fly in and it was just a matter of time until you had to move in with friends, finally admitting to your failure. 

Lost in your thoughts, you wandered like a ghostly appearance through the busy streets of 'New Paradis City'. Everyone seemed to be on their way to work and you felt like you could escape your future if you only blended in. Little did you know that, at this very moment, you were directly running into your new future. 

A thick veil of tears clouded your vision, so you didn't notice the black Bugatti approaching rapidly when you stepped onto the crosswalk. The dramatic ballad, blasting in your ear, also detained you from the hysterical passerby telling you to watch out.  "Miss, the car!" an elderly man yelled at the top of his lungs. Just as the mumbled screams slowly seeped through your brain, it was too late. Your head darted up, finally noticing the vehicle that rushed directly at you. Wasn't the driver acknowledging you? Your whole system begged you to jump out of the way, but fear's vice grip held you firmly to the ground. The only movement you could force was to stretch out your arms in a guarding posture.

The whole scenery switched into slow motion and you could see every rotation of the thick wheels as they brought the car closer to your body. 

"Oh my god!" another stranger yelled. You were sure this was the last thing you'd ever hear. But the second the car was supposed to hit you with full force, an ear-splitting screeched filled the air and the vehicle stopped abruptly. It almost turned 180 degrees as the driver smashed the breaks without mercy. 

Your whole body trembled while you realized, that the Bugatti stopped a few inches away from you. It was so close that you could easily see your horrified expression on the polished surface.

"Fuck, are you okay?" a strangely familiar voice screamed. It was hard to make sense of these words when the blood rushing through your ears drowned out everything else.  With clouded vision, you could vaguely make out a tall figure jumping out of the driver's seat, accompanied by the nervous chattering of the people on the sidewalk.  You just wished that they would all shut up, so you could gather your thoughts. 

"Hey, talk to me!" The stranger, a man, grabbed you by the shoulders and forced you to face him. You still had a hard time rendering the situation, but a set of worried amber eyes brought you back to earth. They starred right into your soul, causing you to finally take a deep breath after what seemed like an eternity. 

"Are you alright?" he repeated his question. Eventually, you nodded.

Your eyes focused on the man standing in front of you, but in an instant, you wished you were still blinded by fear. "I know you." you croaked like you weren't just on the verge of death a minute ago. Quite often, you had heard about how people would say the most random things after a big shock and you finally understood why that was the case. Your confused brain considered it appropriate to feed him this kind of information right now.  "Pardon you?" The tall male tilted his head, still holding onto you like you just told him that the world would end tomorrow. As your head cleared up, you noticed the pure shock still written on his features. 

You whispered once more, "I know you. You are Jean Kirschtein." 

Jean didn't seem too surprised. He must be getting recognized regularly. You could only imagine all these crazy gold-diggers, begging for attention. "Fuck. You're going to blackmail me, don't you? Look, I know I shouldn't be on the phone while driving, but I-" was the first thing the ash-blonde responded, now sounding less concerned and more hysterical. 

Abruptly he let go of you, almost causing you to tumble to the ground.  "What? No, I mean..." you mumbled, slowly gaining sanity. Finally, you noticed the honking cars behind you, throwing the most obscene insults at the both of you. Kirschtein's car blocked half of the road. Jean didn't seem to listen because he was rummaging through his jacket as he did back at the cafè. While pulling out a bunch of banknotes, he asked dryly, "How much do you want to clear this situation?" A scoff made its way out of your mouth. "You people really do think everything comes with a price." The ash-blonde raised one eyebrow, scanning you from bottom to top like he finally acknowledged you for the first time.  "My people? Excuse you?" he huffed.  "Yeah, your little, flawless receptionist said the same when I returned that picture! Not everyone is as money-driven as you fancy upper-class assholes!" 

The adrenaline finally hit you and pure fury washed over you in a roaring wave. This idiot put you in danger just because he couldn't wait 10 minutes longer to make his phone calls. And above all, it enraged you that this sucker thought he could buy his way out of it.  "Listen, you little shit! If you think you can fix this with money, you -" You swung your tiny fists in the air, ignoring the cluster of people that eyed the whole scenery. To your despise, your counterpart didn't seem scared nor intimidated. Instead, a hint of surprise and relief lingered on his features. "Wait, you are the one who returned the picture of my daughter?" It was clear that Jean couldn't believe what he had just heard. With wide eyes, he said, "That was very kind of you. You don't find this trait in people often these days."  You expected a lot, but not this type of response. He seemed truly touched by your gesture. Still, you had to prove your point. There was no room for sentiments. 

"Don't try to sweet-talk me! I am still not done talking! I saw you at the cafè and how you treat people! Oh, and you drive like an fucking asshole! What makes you think you can act like that?!" You took a deep breath before you continued. "No, don't tell me. Let me guess - Your parents didn't have to nerve to teach you some manners because they had better things to do and now-" 

Suddenly a slender finger pressed against your lips to shut you up. 

"Can you please calm down? You are making a scene," Jean hissed between gritted teeth, pointing his head in the direction of the small crowd.  "It would be my pleasure if you harass me in private, but not here." You hated how Jean managed to sound ridiculously smooth while angry. It made something in your stomach twist, but you weren't quite sure if it was the rage or something else. You gasped inaudibly while your mouth formed an 'o' in shock of how sure this man was of himself.  "If they find out who I am, both of us will be all over the papers tomorrow. And believe me, they won't talk too kind about either of us," he whispered harshly. Of course, you knew that as a former journalist. It was part of the occupation to blow things out of proportion. In other words - It had been your job to lie. 

"I kindly ask you to talk in private and then you can scream at me as much as you want. We can discuss the indemnity." Agonizingly slowly, you peeled your eyes off Jean and scanned your surroundings. Some bystanders were already holding their phones, ready to film. He was right. An audible gulp dared to form in your throat. You could already smell the headlines 'Millionaire Jean Kirschtein spotted with mysterious woman'. A knot formed in your stomach at the thought of it.

"Okay, fine," you finally gave in. Jean smiled weakly and nodded. "Come to my office in an hour." He still spoke with this dizzying soothing tone. Then he addressed the nosy crowd, much louder.  "There is nothing to see!" And with that, Jean hopped into his car.

As soon as the road cleared, you were almost run over again by all the impatient drivers. Just in time, you managed to jump on the sidewalk.  You would have been embarrassed by the current situation, but your mind was too occupied to understand what happened. 

Did Jean motherfucking Kirschtein really invite you to his office after almost running you over? 

___

"Your receptionist didn't seem too fond to see me again," you said as you entered Jean's office. The poor receptionist couldn't hide his shock when you announced your invitation. "Ronald is never fond of anyone. Don't take it personally," was all the tall man replied. He was sitting in an emerald leather chair, his tie loosened.  Behind Jean paraded an endless window front, gifting a breathtaking view over the city. Other than that, the whole room was minimalistic, as you expected. 

"You don't seem so angry anymore, Miss - What's your name again?"  "Y/N L/N. And I can assure you I am still angry," you returned harshly while wandering over to Mister Kirschtein's enormous desk. 

Acting like you were at home, you let yourself fall onto the sofa next to it. You weren't in the mood for fake restraint.  Jean chuckled, followed by a, "Excuse my behavior from earlier. I was in shock. And of course, I am sorry for almost running you over."

You shifted in your seat, resting your chin on the cozy armrest of the couch before you answered.  "You are in a lot of debt, Mister Kirschtein." A tiny but mischievous smile spread on your lips. Jean mirrored your amusement and laughed.  "That's true. I haven't even thanked you properly for returning the picture." Elegantly he rose from his seat, stretching his long limbs on the way. 

"Still, I can't help but ask myself - Why did you do it? Usually, people around here aren't this cautious." 

You almost forgot your fury and the raging speech you prepared. It was really hard to be mad in this man's presence when he radiated this soothing aura.  "Are you trying to change the subject?" you returned. "Sharp - I like it. But I did wonder who you were when Ronald told me about it," Jean replied amused, as he walked aimlessly around his office.  You sighed heavily, while your upper body slumped forward. Annoyed you propped your head on your palms. "Geez, it wasn't that big of a deal. Maybe I wanted to collect some Karma points. I don't know." Sheepishly your eyes followed Jean, scanning every inch of his body. Even though he seemed like a menace, you couldn't deny his beautiful stature. 

"Well, maybe Karma brought us back together so I can give you the reward you deserve," the ash-blonde answered cooly. You couldn't put a finger on it if he was being serious or just mocking esoteric beliefs.  Jean prepared himself a glass of whiskey at a tiny bar on the other side of the room. Turning around as he poured the golden liquid. "You want some as well?" In another life, you would have agreed, but right now, you felt so out of place that you weren't even sure if you deserved such fine liquor. 

"No, thank you."

Jean shook his head, smiling and said playfully, "Do you refuse all my offers just for the sake of annoying me?"  Something between a snort and a laugh-filled the air, coming from you. You didn't exactly know if you liked the light-hearted direction of where this was going.  "I didn't say I don't want compensation. I said I despise how you think you can solve all problems with money," you returned. 

Jean swirled the delicate drink in his glass.  "Okay, so name a price then. Since I owe you a lot already, don't be shy. I don't like to be in somebody's debt." 

It was surreal how the two of you talked, like in a business meeting when Mister Kirschtein almost killed you just an hour ago. 

You leaned back, finally allowing your muscles to relax since the accident.

Maybe Karma wasn't such a weird concept and this was your way out of poverty. You could pay your rent and maybe even buy some other food than cheap instant ramen.    

"I want to be able to pay my rent for the next six months," you stated, trying to hide your uproaring nerves. If he would accept the offer all of your problems would be solved for a while. 

"Deal, whatever the costs are. I will cover them. But if you don't mind me asking, why are you so specific about your rent?" If you didn't know better, you could have sworn Jean was actually interested in your life. 

Or maybe he just mastered the art of hypocrisy, like most businessmen.

You felt heat rising on your skin and your cheeks dared to turn pink.

"Well...it's not like I am very fluent with money at the moment. And I don't know how to cover my expenses anymore." The second these words left your lips you could have punched yourself for oversharing. It‘s been a while since you talked to your friends, because you felt embarrassed about your situation.

To your surprise, Jean seemed rather unimpressed. „So you need a job,“ he stated matter of factly. Sheepishly your e/c orbs focused on the ground, avoiding the painfully obvious answer.

„Are you good with kids?“ was the question that followed and you didn‘t like where this was going. „Yeah, I am. I babysat a lot when I was younger,“ you lied. You haven‘t even held a baby once. You couldn’t quite read Jean‘s expression, but he seemed like he was weighing a lot of thoughts.

„How about this - I need someone to take care of my daughter. It‘s impossible to find decent people in this shithole of a city,“ Jean started. „We are both in a - let‘s call it a situation and it would benefit the both of us.“ The second he had finished you burst out into something that sounded like a borderline crazy laugh. Wiping the tears of amusement away you answered, „Are you serious? You don‘t even know me and I don‘t know you. Are you a psychopath who wants to kidnap me or are you that desperate?“ Another smile danced on your lips. Your counterpart scoffed but didn‘t seem too surprised by your reaction.

„I hate to break it to you, sweetheart, but you are the one on the verge of being kicked out,“ he replied bluntly, gulping the rest of the whiskey down. You physically cringed at the pet name, but you would lecture him on that later. „Look,“ Jean continued. „I can‘t find someone trustworthy to look after my daughter and I am running out of time. Your gesture with the picture impressed me. Even though you are annoying, you seem like a genuinely good person. I need exactly that .“ As he talked, Mister Kirschtein seemed more vulnerable than before. Even though you were worlds apart, he shared similar struggles somehow. And to be fair, you did run out of options.

„Okay, so is this is a part time job or something,“ you said, fidgeting with your fingers. „Well, about that - I am not looking for a 9-5 nanny. I need you around her 24/7.“ Chapter 2 ->

Coming up: Your first day at the Kirschtein home turns out to be a full on disaster. Jean's daughter is a full-on brat and you can barely handle her. Moving into the mansion with them and leaving your surroundings made you even more miserable. Trying to soothe your nerves, you decided to take a bath at the end of the day, but you forgot to lock the door... Taglist (open): @rosemirrors @galactict3a @luv-minju @chicha027 @yunxbby @forstein

[hansoheeglobal]

Part 2. The Moment When Han Sohee Just Exists

Q. When I watched "Sound Track" #1 released last year, I thought of this. ‘What would it be like to be the childhood friend of Han Sohee, a natural person?’ I think it would be fun to film it as a fake documentary.

I also like the fake documentary format. Usually, fake documentaries are often used in the horror genre.

Q. Like "The Office", you can make it into an interview format. By the way, do you have any childhood friends or middle and high school friends you keep in touch with?

There are a lot.

Q. How do they see Sohee who became a star? I think I'd be surprised every day.

just… Look at me like that. That's why we can still be friends. I have middle school friends and high school friends, but they are rather worried about me. They don't even brag about the fact that they know me, but they just sees me as Sohee of that time.

Q. Those relationships are really precious.

of course.

Q. I think the more such relationships there are, the stronger a person becomes. That's what I thought while reading Sohee's blog.

Me? I'm a total fragile, right? (laughs)

Q. ah… It's fragile. (laughs)

The reason I have friends like that is also because I treated them that way. They act without hesitation. Even when I go out drinking or having fun, I don’t hide anything. It's okay for people to recognize it. It's not like you're breaking the law to hang out with your friends. I'd appreciate it if you could recognize me. My friends also seem to feel proud when people recognize me.

Q. I saw a photo of Sohee drinking with her friends a while ago and was a little drunk, and I wondered what to say… I felt the honest warmth I felt in the inn room photos of Hwang Jeongmin, Cho Seungwoo, and Ji Jinhee.

Ah. (Laughs) That’s a little different. They are famous people.

Q. (Laughs) That’s… It's about honesty without embellishment, and it was in the title of a previous interview. Although it is a title written by a reporter, it is ‘Han Sohee, what is more important than beauty is honesty.’ Isn’t this a very important attitude in life?

Isn’t it more obvious than important? Conversely, ask the question, ‘Why can’t I be honest?’ and also ask the question, ‘Why do I have to ‘pretend’?’ I answered that there was absolutely no need for that.

Q. Another interview said that. "It’s a job that requires me to look in the mirror a lot, but I try not to look in the mirror." It also has a similar meaning.

That means this. We have a job that requires us to look in the mirror a lot, so we know what angles look good on our faces. When filming a drama or movie, it's easy to get into the habit of showing only what I want to show. When filming “My Name,” I started the habit of not looking in the mirror so I wouldn’t be bothered by the angle.

Q. There is something in line with the ‘honest attitude toward life’ we talked about earlier.

Yes. In the work, I have to become that character. The desire to show the pretty side of Han Sohee as a person becomes disingenuous in the work. In order to live the life of a character, an honest attitude in acting is to first erase it from memory without looking at where it is pretty and where it is not, and to exclude all elements outside the work. Of course, it doesn't have to continue like that. In a photo shoot like today, the purpose of the shoot is to show my most attractive side.

Q. I think you read a lot of books too.

Lately, I’ve been obsessed with the question, ‘What are emotions?’ What I read recently is '애도 일기 (Journal de Deuil).’ This book is a compilation of the memories the author recorded with her mother over the course of a year, like a diary, after her mother passed away. When reading this book, you can clearly feel the author's emotions. She said that people do not break down in an instant just because they lose someone they love. I live my daily life. Then, she breaks down when she receives a letter from her friend who lives across the river, saying, ‘I saw your mother the day before she died, and she was wearing her gray clothes.’ That one sentence made her come to terms with her mother's death. As I read, I thought about ‘time to accept emotions.’ The time we are aware of depression or sadness can be frighteningly long. So, even if you go through something and are okay now, you may not be okay two or three years from now. So shouldn’t we always doubt our feelings?

Q. What you just said is so cool. Looking closely at one's own emotional state is an essential attitude for everyone, including actors.

that's right. You need to practice objectifying yourself often. Especially your feelings.

Q. I've heard of that before. For example, write down how many minutes it took for me to open my eyes and get out of bed this morning. When I'm depressed, the time gets longer.

It could be something like that. It could be something like how many times I made eye contact with people and smiled today. How was my day today, what did it feel like, what was the temperature, and how many things did I force myself to do today? Remembering these things is very helpful in living. When you're busy, you don't even realize that your mind is getting tired.

Q. I'm a little touched right now.

The human body is more scientific than you might think.

Q. That's right. When you're physically struggling, your mind is really struggling.

It's so hard.(laughs) I can't stay up all night.

Q. Why are reading and watching movies important for actors?

There is a saying that "Sadness is the saddest when you hold back sadness, and laughter is the funniest when you hold back laughter." But there are people who laugh when they are sad, and there are people who are sad when they laugh. Sadness is not all the same sadness, but joy is not all the same joy. We have to express delicate sorrows and subtle joys that are not expressed in words. Reading a lot of books and screens is similar to preparing paint to draw emotions. Of course, drawing with 10 paints is different from drawing with 100 paints. I really want to fill it up and prepare about 1,000. (laughs)

Q. You said you were exploring your emotions earlier. Do you have anxiety among them?

why? Reporter, are you anxious?

Q. Yes. I often get anxious.

I've been reading a very thick book called "The Book of Anxiety" for quite some time. There's something impressive about the book. Everyone feels anxiety except when they sleep for 24 hours. However, we may forget our anxiety by sleeping, exercising, or simply doing simple work. This anxiety is a very thin piece of paper. So we have to diligently clean up today's anxiety and tomorrow's anxiety so that this anxiety does not build up one by one. Every day so that it doesn't build up in my mind anymore.

Q. How do I clean it up?

Have you seen the documentary “Marina Abramovic: The Artist is Present” (2011)? If you look at it, you can see a scene where you don't do anything and just stay still. I think that training is the best training for humans to get rid of anxiety. Marina Abramovich brings 30 people to her house to eat almost nothing, close their eyes and train them still in the woods. That's what I do at home these days. Staying still. I don't think about anything and just stay still, whether it's 5 or 10 minutes. I'm vulnerable to anxiety like you. But you can't live your whole life vulnerable. I'm sure we can make the human brain work differently if we know how it works. That's why I'm studying. I'm trying to fix it so that I'm not vulnerable to anxiety.

Q. I was impressed again. The desire to study and fix things is so healthy and wonderful.

It took me a lot of attempts to get here. If you leave because you don't like what you don't like, nothing will change. In the end, a person must know how to stand alone.

Q. This is the last question. What kind of actor do you want to be.

An irreplaceable actor. an absolutely irreplaceable actor.

Note: rough trans so there might be a lot of error.

[lemonthepotato]

“Re reading” Higurashi

(Spoilers, also minor spoilers for Danganronpa UDG.)

The title is a bit of a liars work. You see, I’ve been deceiving you all this whole time. Because despite the fact that my account is heavily focused on Higurashi memes and commentary, I’ve never actually read Higurashi. Oh, I saw the anime. Since 2018, I’ve been obsessed with Higurashi. Well, except 2020. I had a short hiatus from the fandom. But in 2022 I decided to begin actually reading the visual novel. I began reading Umineko in 2021 and finished it in 2022. I began reading Higurashi early 2022 and finished it in 23.

Join me and my horrible memory as I get many details wrong.

Chapter 1:

• I don’t remember anything from the damn project, but the suspect list seems off. XXXX, XXX, XXXX, XXXXX and XXXX. The main offender is XXXX. I don’t quite remember much, so I’ll go without making assumptions. I don’t remember if Takano was involved in the dam project. (This aged terribly. I don’t know why I thought this.) I think the sonozakis has something to do with it. I don’t know. We can rule out Keiichi and Rena, and Rika and Satoko because of their ages/locations. We can also rule out Mion and Shion due to their ages. Miyo fits XXXX, the main perpetrator, but again, I don’t remember that being the case. I remember Takano was involved with some government bullshit. I watched Higurashi in 2018 and only got back into the fandom recently. (I lost interest briefly in 2020 and got back into it in 2021) I finished Umi, and I’ve only started the VN. I don’t remember everything about the story, and I didn’t care much about the dam project.

• Things are brought up in these games without much relevance. Umineko had the whole lotta shit that didn’t add up to much, like the shit with Virgilia and the vase.

• Teppei? Hojo has four letters. That makes sense, but didn’t Teppei not live in Hinamizawa?) I don’t remember, again, only recently got back in.

I’m abandoning this format

The reason why I only began reading Higurashi a few months ago was because I was under the mindset of “well, I watched the anime, so reading the VN would basically be the same as a rewatch.” I never rewatch shows. The only anime I’ve ever rewatched was Erased, and I don’t even remember why, because I didn’t even care for it much. However, as I’ve spent the last five months trying to get through CH1 (I am a very slow reader, I got busy.) I have realised it is a very different experience from the anime. First of all, I haven’t watched the anime since 2018. So my memory might be a bit bad, but there are a couple details that I already find intriguing. First of all, the literary world offers Ryukishi a lot more options than any other form of media. As a writer myself, viewing a story written as “a show, but in words” is dishonest. Writing is, in a lot of ways, a superior art form to cinema in some regards, and it falls inferior in other places, as all media do. For example, you might not be able to convey facial expressions as detailed as you can in television. But you can convey small details and explain why those details are there. For example, in CH1, there was a scene where Keiichi remarks about how Rika must be struggling with her dance. Considering I’m familiar with the twist about Rika, that I believe occurs in CH4 in the VN, it re-contextualises that scene. It makes you wonder if she was really struggling, or if she was worried about the festival considering that’s where things hit the fan. Second, Rika loses to Tomitake, making me wonder if she’s trying different variables, trying to roll the dice in the most minuscule ways, desperate for a change. There is also the whole ‘infirmary, rika, poison’ thing that straight up spoils who the culprit is. Of course, I don’t believe Takano is revealed to be a nurse at this point.

I like how Ooishi brings up Mion and Rika potentially being behind Tomitakes death and Keiichi is like “WHAT?! MION WOULNT DO THAT” like bro what about Rika.

Foreshadowing the fingernail scene TwT

I’m curious what the conversation Rena and Mion are having. I don’t remember it being in the anime? So, the obvious intention is to omit certain words to make Rena and Mion look suspicious. This is something that can easily happened. You ever overhear something that sounds suspicious, but then you listen closer and realise it’s two women talking about getting ice cream, not saying ‘he didn’t scream’? Me neither. Point is that I’m wondering what they actually said. Maybe they were talking about a person, because Mion says she doesn’t want to talk about it. Maybe Satoshi? He was a member of the club, if I recall correctly. I wonder when Keiichi will get the bat. I don’t think Shion shows up this chapter, but I hope she gets fleshed out more in the VN. In the anime, I feel like she didn’t get much attention even in the original 2006 anime. And everyone who saw the anime just saw her as the “much blood. such murder.” girl. I don’t remember why she killed in the original arcs. Because she was trying to figure out who was responsible for Satoshi’s disappearance? He DID go missing, right? For ages, I always thought it was a mystery in the fandom what happened to him, but I feel that was a Mandela effect I created in my head. I mean I always just considered Outbreak non canon so it didn’t phase me when he showed up non-chalantly. But him being in a coma? Not what I remembered. All I remember from Shion’s arc was that she realised she had broken her promise to Satoshi at the end. Again, I’ve heard that out of every arc, Watanagashi was adapted the worst in the anime.

Onikakushi-hen is basically just a prank gone wrong, lmao. “MARKER PRANK, GONE WRONG!!!1!1!1” though I’m only at the morning scene where Keiichi discovers the bean paste and he starts overanalysing what in reality, was probably not a needle. I don’t know, because it’s been a while, but I’d suspect maybe a different sauce? Or something like candy?

I feel like Umineko’s creation may have been due to the success of the first Higurashi arc. Because the illusion side of things is really thorough here. A lot of things Rena and Mion say are completely normal. The only unusual thing would be Rena’s “LIAR” speech, which could’ve been her joking around, or in Keiichi’s head. Mion 100% probably did tease Keiichi about the diner, and when she said he needed to rest, it was probably with a ton of concern. Anyway, everything in Onikakushi is Ooishi’s fault lmao.

I remember Keiichi being a lot more aggressive in the anime. That’s probably me misremembering. The ‘horror’ in the anime feels a little different from the ‘horror’ in the visual novel. It feels more slow, more of a build up, though the whiplash can get a bit grading sometimes.

OK theory time. I’m not sure if this is how it happened, but I think Mion might’ve decided to prank Keiichi to cheer him up. So she got her classmates to follow Keiichi around (the car was probably not a coincidence though: I think it’s related to whatever that stuff with Tokyo and Takano was? I was too young to understand it back when I watched.) and she got the information somehow that Keiichi was buying or eating a flavor of noodles. She got Rena to make him dinner to cheer him up, or Rena did it on her own, and she relayed the information to him of what flavour he was eating, because she knew he was lying. Rena was probably sad that Keiichi was lying, but not aggressive. Whether or not the ‘usoda’ scene the first time was real or not is more debatable, as being pushed for details of your missing friend can push someone over the edge, but I think Keiichi could be been imagining that too. And as we all know, the ‘marker’ thing is coming soon.

‘Why would Rena go this far in pranking Keiichi with Mion’ well, remember two facts. Rena is already very mentally unstable due to her Dad’s inferred abuse and Rina. I don’t remember if Rena’s dad being abusive is in the original, but reading Gou again I notice it’s a detail added. Another factor is age: Rena is 13. 13 year olds don’t understand the limit to jokes that often. And with Mion being 14 (the demon year), she probably doesn’t know the limit either. The age of Higurashi characters amazes me. When I was young and watching the anime I thought Rena was 15, Mion was 16, Shion was 16-18, Keiichi was 16, and Rika and Satoko were 12-14. I just saw them as older. And to be honest, Rena seems older than 13.

Okay, see? Rena even admits she was messing around. She didn’t realise how paranoid Keiichi was. Her poor fingers… wait until the nail scene XD.

Keiichi, a lack of sleep increases paranoia. *sigh* also that line about how no one can decide except him if today would be- yeah. Rings different if you know the ending.

ITS TABASCO. Keiichi, If you weren’t such a paranoid, ableist and judgmental person you could’ve just talked to Mion and Rena. It’s incredibly disrespectful to dig through your friends pasts and not even talk to them, and disrespect their traumas. But still. Saikoroshi-hen is so good though, unrelated. Still unbelievable that Saikoroshi was in the same show as Hajisarashi and Hirukowashi, the latter that has a grown woman gushing over Rena.

CH2

Okay, time to figure out who is Mion and who is Shion. For the diner scene, I think it might be Mion, but I don’t know- I don’t remember. The way she is acting would make sense if it was Mion, because she wouldn’t want Keiichi to see her like that. Okay, the next ‘Shion’ scene I also believe to be Mion because she literally calls him ‘Kei-chan’ and blushes around him.

The bike scene. I’m not sure, but I’m leaning towards Shion. First of all, calling him Kei-chan is suspicious, so that’s a reason why it could be Mion. But at the same time, she hasn’t blushed around Keiichi, and if I recall, Mion’s gotten in trouble with the law before, even swearing out Ooishi in CH1, so why would she be so respectful to law enforcement? Wait… she’s blushing… hmmmm. Mion? The phone scene I think could be Shion, but it’s hard to tell. I feel like it’s Shion in the restaurant, cuz she’s acting less… you know, nervous?

Poor Shion. Keiichi really is subtly sexist. He even downplays the very real nature of what that man’s doing to Shion, it’s harassment. This makes the Satoshi and Keiichi scene from Kira or whatever much more deserved. Ugh.

Wonder if St. Lucia is part of the reason Shion (assuming it’s her) feels like this situation is her fault. St. Lucia basically puts a lot of expectation on the individual, and failing that system is a kind of personal responsibility. Mixed with growing up in a misogynistic world, it’s no wonder Shion is victim blaming herself. Also her shitty family.

“No means no.” Thank you Rena very based. Also I like how the first thing Rena does when seeing Shion is gush over how kyute she is. Shiirena confirmed???! /j (?)

Why is the tense changing. All the time. Ryukishi, it’s one or the other. I personally use past tense when writing, as it is a lot more… I don’t know, easy? Ryukishi also wasn’t really good at foreshadowing back then. Shion looking like she has demon blood. Really? Maybe it’s just because I know the twist about it.

I have a feeling Mion isn’t Mion.

Shion is definitely not crying on the other end of the line. She’s telling Keiichi to calm down, but I don’t think she herself is calm. Considering she heard those noises at the night of Watanagashi, she probably had Hinamizawa Syndrome. How Hinamizawa Syndrome develops is unknown. I don’t remember. I do remember there is a drug, H137 or something, that induces it, that Takano uses on Tomitake, but did she use it on Keiichi and now Shion, or did it naturally develop? It could be either. She encountered Keiichi, albeit in a public setting, so for Onikakushi it’s more likely he developed it on his own. But Shion, alone in that storehouse with Keiichi? Maybe. But then again, I doubt it. Also this music is hilarious.

See, I knew the “hic” shit was building up to a laugh. Now, the real question - is it one of sadism and deceit, or panic and frantic thinking, I don’t remember how Hinamizawa Syndrome affects people, and their logical state of mind. I feel like the anime might have doubled down on the “crazy” aspect too much, without delving into the psychology. Shion, as a person, isn’t evil. She expresses remorse for her actions, I believe, in later arcs. That’s why I’m curious on why she did it.

I have a lot of thoughts about the nail scene. So, obviously Mion is Shion and Shion is Mion. A fact about the Sonozaki’ sis that Mion was born Shion and Shion was born Mion, and they switched names at one point. To make things a little less confusing, I’ll refer to Mion (the one with the demon tattoo) as Mion, and Shion as Shion, not by their birth names, by their chosen names. Here’s my theory. Shion had long been resentful of Mion, because she was given special treatment by the other members of the family. Shion snuck into the storehouse, and Shion was punished for it by Mion. Shion already had signs of Hinamizawa Syndrome, so she was growing even more resentful. I believe, well, know, Shion didn’t kill Tomitake & Takino, yet, Shion, afflicted with HS, was scared that she had been cursed and was after next. Then, she began interrogating her family (which I remember from the anime) and none of them confessed, which she then passed the blame to Satoko, and it spiralled out of control. When Rena and Keiichi come over, and Mion is locked up, I can guess Shion’s thoughts during this. The ‘demon/oni’ in this context is Shion pretending to be Mion, and disgracing the name of ‘Mion’. The title of ‘Mion’ and ‘Shion’ are again, titles to them. Because Shion in reality, if I recall, is actually the older sister of the two, she probably wanted to take the name ‘Mion’ back. As to why she let Keiichi go, I don’t know. Maybe I’m remembering poorly, but I remember the anime cutting out Shion letting Keiichi go, and it cuts before she is about to do the nail stuff. But I could be misremembering. I don’t have many theories thus far. Why could giving the doll to ‘Mion’ (who I’m in the middle on being Shion) be such a big deal? Mion wanted the doll because she wanted to be treated as a girl, Shion wanted the doll because… it doesn’t make sense. I really don’t remember the ‘why’ of this arc, just the how. We all remember the infamous Satoko scene, after all. (Revisiting this while reading arc 6, after reading arc 5. I was surprisingly close to the truth, still.)

Wait, didn’t Shion push Mion down a well in the anime? Am I misremembering or was it just changed in the adaptation? No, that wouldn’t make sense. Takano being dead doesn’t make sense. She is a nurse, so? Maybe she constructed her own demise and framed it to look older? Maybe she got a wax figure XDDD? Maybe it’s someone who looks like her. Or maybe Keiichi has Hinamizawa Syndrome. No, Takano was alive. Whoever that was they found wasn’t her. Jirou, Keiichi and Shion all having Hinamizawa syndrome is possible but I doubt Keiichi’s would have progressed that far due to him not hearing noises.

Hints of Rika’s “juice”-addiction, Satoko’s abuse, both foreshadowed in a slice of life meta scene. Weird. Takano standing RIGHT NEXT TO Mion while she says there’s a mystery culprit, huh, Ryukishi do you think you’re funny. Do you think you’re a fucking comedian. Because yes.

‘Sayoko’. I didn’t know Satoko had a twin. Let’s see… is Sayoko a name? Oh, it is. It means ‘small child.’ I didn’t know Satoko had a twin. That explains a lot. Not really. It explains nothing. Is it a translation error? No, obviously not. This is clever foreshadowing to the show that shant be named and the manga adaptation midguri. (Edit as I’m approaching CH7: I forgot to mention but I like meguri slightly more than Sotsu. Both are still lacking but still.)

CH3

Keiichi has the ego of a brick. Don’t read into that metaphor. His “plan” for saving Satoko is a felony. He doesn’t even seem to care if Satoko would be happy living with him. And he was willing to give her to Irie. That says enough. (Edit as I’m approaching CH7: Come to think of it, maybe I actually was too harsh on Keiichi. If a child is being abused, you get them out of that situation point blank period. So I don’t know.)

Why didn’t… why didn’t Keiichi have cat eyes in Onikakushi-hen? He had HS too, in that arc, but no one commented on it. Now they are. Weird… idk why though.

Ugh. Keiichi. They’re clearly covering for you. Why would they not find Teppei? Because they moved him! But because Keiichi developed HS, he’s making crazy assumptions. He’s probably missing obvious social cues that his friends are trying to tell him ‘hey, we helped’ without outright saying it. Satoko was probably actually crying, somewhat bittersweet I’d imagine. The trauma is still there, but because it’s a change of routine, she isn’t able to process it fully yet. I’m sure she is happy her uncle isn’t bothering her, but she’s confused by it.

Wait, is this the arc where… okay, if I remember, Satoko is attempting uhhh… well she’s in a bathtub and it’s like, overheating? Or she’s like? You knowing with something? But I believe Satoko has HS in every arc to a minor degree, so… she does to Keiichi what she did to her parents? I don’t know.

“...If that was the case, then here's how it would end up. ...I was actually in a vegetative state due to a traffic accident, and I was currently dreaming in a hospital bed...” jeez K1 because that’s NEVER happened in ANY arc to ANYONE. Sarcasm.

This isn’t adding up. If Satoko had to count to 10,000, it takes 2 hours to count to 10,000. So she couldn’t have been in there that long. This could either be K1 hallucinating, or Kei-chan isn’t and Ryukishi was just. Not thinking about it. Now, if Satoko was counting by the minute, that would be almost exactly a week. (Edit: 2 hours is way too long to be in a hot bathtub. What was I thinking?)

Ah, I see. Satoko released an eruption so large when she pushed Keiichi that it affected the whole village. Nah, I’m pretty sure the mountain dogs have something to do with this. From Tokyo? Something something Takano something something grandfathers research. I don’t remember.

CH4

Yukie ain’t there, son. I bet. She probably wasn’t when giving birth, something happened likely. Maybe if you were there for her she wouldn’t have went alone but you know. L Alabama. AKASAKA. Not alamaba. Whatever.

So, I thought Rika or Takano could be behind the mysterious TIPS, so now we have confirmation that it was Rika. If this is because of the loops, then that means that Rika has been looping for longer periods of time than I suspected. I always thought she was reliving the same few days in Hinamizawa, but was she transported a few years back this time? Was Rika like this before she became a looper? Who knows.

CH5

Shion is just like me fr fr. I fully understand the mindset of “if I wasn’t born, I wouldn’t have had to suffer.” It’s the very reason I don’t want kids. I feel like life is just a game of suffer vs sufferer. Everyone is either a sufferer or the perpetrator, or a standerby, which is no better than the perpetrator. “Why was I born? Why did this world give birth to me? I shouldn't have been born. I wouldn't have had to suffer if I hadn't been. What was the meaning of my meaningless life?”

“Where did I go wrong...? When in my life did I make the wrong choice?”

*sigh* my mom made the wrong choice in having me. I was better off never existing at all.

“I’m sorry for being born” you’re not crying, I am. I mean, I’m not crying- fuck.

Sorry, opinions were mixed? Teppei is a legit horrendous person. Keiichi did nothing wrong. Does anyone know the Blanchard case? That poor, poor girl was horrifically abused, and got sent to jail because she retaliated against the abuse. Horrific. How could anyone care about a human who abuses a child? WHO? No, no.

So I’m realising from Arc 3, re-reading my notes, my point about Satoko counting to 10,000 is ridiculous because she was in either really hot or really cold water, which can take as short as 5 minutes. Fuck Teppei.

CH6

Rena’s mom and dad seem like bad people. Your child shouldn’t be responsible for cooking, fathers should know how to cook, clean, and look after their kids. Also, Rena’s mother reminds me of that case where a mother spoiled her child and then… killed that child and herself. But yeah, I know this is some deep literary anoysis, and no one else figured this out, but I think Rena’s mom may be getting a divorce 😨 I know, shocking. /s

My eyes are a bit wet because what Rena describes happened to me in my childhood, sort of. My mom and dad got into a really big fight, and me and my mom left and got into the car, and she started crying, and I started crying. I don’t like my mom, but what did my dad say that made me and my mom too scared to be near him?! I don’t know. I hate both of them.

“I know you're not naïve

But you ignore it all

Just look, you've been deceived

I don't forgive you either”

“Completely depending on someone means trying to earn even deeper sympathy from them. At that point, even though you're trying to comfort them. they just slip further and further into depression. By finding initial success through relying on someone and receiving comfort, they grow addicted to indulging in misfortune. That's a golden rule for psychologists, did you know? Mental trauma can only be be healed by the person who has it. If someone else helps a person out of their mental trauma. even if they succeeded that person wouldn't be completely healed. Kei-chan, people feel better just by talking to somebody. Sometimes, all they need is someone who does nothing but listen quietly.” Wow did Ryukishi just talk directly to me,?? Read my mind??

Also, hmm, Mion is strangely knowledgable about mental health. It’s a shame Mion never gets her own arc. And no, Wataakashi-hen does not count. I thoroughly hate Gou and Sotsu, but find Meguri… acceptable. I know not a lot of people like Meguri, and frankly I still hate Tatariakashi-hen. Some love to defend it, I don’t. And that’s all I’ll say.

I do find Rena hypocritical. She criticises her friends for not helping Satoshi, but then berates Keiichi in arc 3 for criticising them for not helping Satoko? Tbf, Keiichi was being a dick, but it seems… very parallel. I don’t think this is unintentional. Hinamizawa Syndrome, and this is surprising, may lead to a higher risk of stress. Crazy, right? They might begin blaming those around them. Crazy?

Couldn’t have seen that coming.

Mion must’ve felt really invalidated when Keiichi said “Are you kidding me? That's not why I called you here. I have to talk to you about something very important. I want you to listen without making fun of me,” in response to "Oh. I know. You want to give me a love letter, don't you? People usually use the shoe locker for that, you know?”

Like he already led her on by saying “We don't really do that in the city. A lot of guys hand over their love letters in person.” I mean yes, it wasn’t fully his fault- like he didn’t know. But damn. Poor Mion. Seriously. :((

I could only get “start.”

Rena stop looking at r/conspiracy and r/gangstalking. Sound familiar? Yeah I just posted this.

Finally, the brick line.

“No matter what happened in the past, as long as you're a great person at present, you shouldn't be embarrassed of yourself. Am I wrong? What's the purpose of living if we can never earn redemption?" I know this is a general statement but it’s funny in the context of. Like. Imagine killing like 50 people and then saying “hey it’s all in the past my guy.” LMAO.

Uhhh Rika I don’t think you can forgive a crime committed against Rena and Mion. Lmaooo

Bruh when Satoko said “Keiichi fought for me? I find that hard to believe” I laughed. She doubts Keiichi so hard 💀

"Very well we'll accept the second condition. But let us add another condition on top of that. We're going to send her a lawyer. You will only question her in the lawyers presence.” I want to see Saul Goodman defending Rena Ryuugu now. I will pay money for it. Unironically? Never speak to police without a lawyer present.

Yes, Rena was aware of her actions. To a degree. But does she deserve jail time? I don’t think so, but she clearly has some mental problems that need treated. I think Ooishi should be discharged from the police force for even entertaining her delusions. He was really mainly at fault. Even during negotiation. He couldn’t have done much else, but still. Was not helping.

FILE NO 34. Huh. This must’ve been obvious for the Japanese audience HAHA. So, the kanji for Miyo is the same kanji for san and shi, right? 3 and 4? Pffttttt. Okay, to be fair, names can be written in a variety of ways In Japanese. But still. Funny.

Oh never mind then it was meant to be obvious. It doesn’t actually give away the fact she’s the culprit I just jumped the gun

WOW HM ITS ALMOST LIKE THERE IS NO CULT AND TAKANO IS PLAYING YOU ALL FOR FOOLS.

“People who think it’s useless to talk to others usually haven’t really talked to others.” Eh, disagree. I used to. It never helped. No one else can solve my problems. No one cares about me. I only have one human looking out for me, and that is myself.

CH7

Oh, are we going to see Hanyuu Furude this arc? Yay, I love Hanyuu. She’s so cute. I wonder why Rika is referring to her as a brother or sister. Is this a flashback? Hanyuu is Rika’s great x8 grandmother or something, right? She’s also the village god I think.

Anyway, Akarigurashi chapter 8.2 just released and I liked it. Sorry, unrelated. Sorry, I like meguri, okay?

“So yes, if this piece, Ooishi, didn't intervene, then perhaps the victims of Rule X wouldn't have resorted to such violence.” I TOLD YOU. I TOLD you Ooishi was at fault all along.

“And well, while people in a single world may be able to reach such an idea, the widespread desire to place blame commonly causes A to be lynched by society while the environment that gave rise to A goes ignored.” Yeah, this is actually true for real life. Crimes happen. A “monster” committed them out of “evil.” The root of evil is never addressed. Human nature is never addressed, because it’s a “monster.” No one else feels responsible. In reality? It’s all of our faults. Letting the world be in shambles is every humans collective fault. That’s my perspective.

“She also may have to defeat Rule Z, just as Sonozokai Shion faced it in Meakashi.” Who is Sonozokai Shion? Crazy, first we had Sayoko and now we have Shion Sonozokai.

Hey, thanks Ryukishi. It’s awesome to hear Rule X, Rule Y and Rule Z being mentioned constantly even though I can’t remember off the top of my head the differences! Okay, Rule X is that the disease always makes one of Rika’s friends develop Hinamizawa Syndrome. Rule Y is that Rika Furude, Takano Miyo and Jirou Tomitake always die. Rule Z is that Ooishi and Takano always cause shit. Right?

So how long has Rika been looping? 100 years? How many time loops, then? If she looped the same June of 1983, and only the current arcs were what she experienced, that would be six months! But then, why does she say Rena, Shion and Keiichi lost it? Why is it never Mion or Satoko? Is that just a rule for all arcs, or because she only experienced these six arcs? And if she experienced her whole life six times, that’s 60 years. So, I’m going with the idea that there were either 4 previous loops, or… if she’s only experiencing one month, and June of 1983 had 30 days, then to make 1 month add up to 100 years, she would’ve experienced… 3000 loops? Is that correct? Yeah… if I had to loop the same month 3000 times, I would become a little jaded too.

Okay I might’ve overestimated, it’s around 1200. Still a lot.

I would love a Sotsu/Meguri style visual novel. Maybe a fan project? But it wouldn’t have the same charm as an official one. I truly believe after reading Umineko and almost finishing Higurashi that these stories can only truly be understood through the visual novel medium. Ciconia though? Uh… sorry, I’m not paying £40 for ONE chapter of a story. If that pattern continues, phase 2, 3 and 4 being released will add up to £160. I am not paying £160 for fucking Ciconia. I think the worst part is that no playthroughs are allowed past a certain chapter, 7 or 8. I understand why. But like- if the game wasn’t £40 I would understand more. I mean come on. It’s one chapter. Like Ryukishi, my guy, are you struggling financially or smth? Because we alllll are. Some of us, such as myself, don’t even have income because the job market is unbelievable! So the only money I can get right now is money from people on holidays. And at this rate, I don’t think phase 2 is gonna be released anytime soon so… oopsies. Yeah no. I’ll pass. Oh wait? It’s actually £30, and on sale for £20 right now. Tempting, very tempting, but ah! I can’t justify it right now. Sorry, but it’s on principle alone I can’t justify that. The question arcs of Umineko are around £20. Someone said Ciconia Phase 1 is double the length of Lotgw. If that is true, and each question arc is worth £5 (same logic as the Higurashi arc pricing, also it makes sense considering the price) then that should only be £10. It’s basic Math. But instead it’s being charged at £30. I would pay £10 for each phase. Not £30, not even £20. Sorry, but I believe in fairness. And no one can convince me £30 or 40 USD is a reasonable price for one phase of a four phase story. This is the sims 4 levels of bad. Okay, maybe not exactly that bad… but look. Huniepop 2 is £20 and honestly even that probably has more worth than Ciconia.

“The art is better” yeah? art is meant to improve over time. Why does that matter? Like come on, don’t act like the game is Mona Lisa levels of good.

Rika this has a very simple solution. In each arc, have Hanyuu follow everyone around one by one. Follow Keiichi. Suspicious behaviour? No? Follow Satoko. Suspicious behaviour? No? Follow… and follow… then follow Ooishi. No? Then follow Mion? No? Then follow Takano, and that’s where the money is. God, Rika, you’re pathetic. I could’ve figured this out ages ago.

Mandela, I remember her being very optimistic in the anime. Hanyuu, that is. I didn’t realise she was this negative. That’s a weird thing to misremember. Also I’ve been subconsciously trying to figure out the MBTI of every Higurashi character this entire time, and I think I have it down. Let’s start with Keiichi… my memory is very bad, but in none of the arcs I don’t remember him being very ne or ni dom… a… si dom? No… se? Maybe… he seems like fi-dom maybe??? It’s not that he doesn’t care about other peoples feelings it’s just that he’s kinda insensitive and clearly thinks of his own subconsciously. So… hmm… ESFP?? No wait, I just completely forgot Ti/Te existed! Uhh… That feels wrong… Rika is a clear ni-dom with heavy… I don’t know??? I can’t be arsed actually. Okay, actually…

Keiichi isn’t logic driven. I mean, Onikakushi and Tsumihoroboshi for example. It wasn’t until Mion educated him that he realised how silly he was being. Though I don’t know if I consider Mion more Tx or Fx. She has a lot of loyalty to her friends and the Sonozaki family, so I’m leaning Fx. But Fi or Fe? Well. I don’t know. Mion isn’t a Ne nor Ni dom, as showcased by her debunking Keiichi and Rena’s conspiracies. She doesn’t seem interested in “what ifs.” She doesn’t seem interested in thinking about abstract concepts very much. I don’t really understand how Se and Si users work, to be honest. I’m a very heavy and probably unhealthy ne-dom. I’m NeFi, ENFP. As far as I’m aware anyway… if you get different vibes from me because of this post, and want to suggest otherwise, please let me know. And yes, MBTI is pseudoscience, but it’s fun. So I really don’t care. Hell, you could call all of typology pseudoscience. You could call psych and sociology pseudoscience. But are you just going to dismiss entire fields of science as fake just because they aren’t scientific in the way you like? Pseudoscience consists of statements, beliefs, or practices that claim to be both scientific and factual but are incompatible with the scientific method. The scientific method is using empirical evidence to draw conclusions. Some things are just not provable. If I surveyed a town and everyone there said they liked curry, I could say that everyone in that town liked curry. (Chie watching me with a death glare right now) But, how could you truly know that they like curry? Even statistics can’t be reliable. What if everyone lied? It’s improbable, but not impossible. But do we dismiss sociology and psychology just because we can’t prove things beyond a shadow of a doubt? No. And typologies like MBTI are similar. Of course these are abstract labels. Of course there’s no way we can prove cognitive functions exist. And yes, there is probably many more “cognitive functions.” But MBTI is a framework of identity. Even Jung said he was probably mistaken. So why do we cling to it? To help us understand ourselves.

What was I talking about again? Oh, When They Cry

I want to see a Sotsu like story but Mion is the looper. Why? Because Mion has such a strong will and sense of responsibility, that I want to see her going through the loops. How would she react? Of course, a character like Rena looping was something I found interesting, but she’s already predisposed to insanity. Mion is the only relatively “normal” (as normal as a yakuza heir can be) one, so I would want to see that. The story could be… hmm… Imotokoroshi?? Look I was trying to find words that ended in shi because the visual novel tends to do that. But Mion and Shion are different people so it doesn’t always have to involve them both, I just couldn’t come up with a better title… ok this hypothetical is silly, moving on

A choice? Considering this is a linear visual novel, not that linear is a bad thing, I doubt this choice will affect anything, right? Also, unrelated, but Miirena or Shiirena? Like, which do y’all like more? Because I’m torn. They’re both different people but in Watanagashi and Meakashi-hen Rena thought Shion was Mion, so thus far there isn’t much Shiirena content to work off. There’s some for Miirena though. Ugh why am I bringing this up? We need more Shion content grrr. Every Higurashi girl has been my favourite at some point. I think Shion was my initial favourite?… then Rika, Then Rena, then Satoko. And now? Hm, I don’t know. To answer these kinds of questions, I ask myself, which character would I prefer over another in an arc? Well, okay, let’s go down the list. Who would I remove first? Honestly? Satoko or Rika. And it’s not that I don’t love them as characters, but I have to be honest. Then who? Maybe Rena? I’m just ignoring Keiichi’s existence btw. So Mion or Shion… I like them both a lot! I relate to Shion in a lot of ways but she’s also very immature tbh. So I don’t know. Maybe I’m going about this wrong… I always root for the underdog, probably why Satoko went from one of my favourites to “meh” when GouSotsu released. Yeah it’s not the best ideology. So I don’t know. Mion? You’re asking me to choose between my blorbos!! This isn’t fair!!

I would love a friend like Mion. If you are kin with mion, or synpath or anything, we should be friends! I bet you’re a mature, loyal person! So maybe we shouldn’t, because I’m the opposite. Well maturity wise anyway. I get treated like a kid anyway despite being an adult so I guess I’m not allowed to act like one anyway. Out of all the Higurashi main cast, I relate a lot to them all in different ways, except Mion. She’s just so grounded and logical. Okay, seriously though, does anyone actually have Satoshi as their favourite Higurashi character? Like… bruh. He ain’t even that interesting. Anyway, I think I relate most to Shion in her arc, which is concerning. I’m not as cunning as Shion. No, it’s not that I can’t hide my emotions, it’s that after suffering in silence for so long, I take every little piece of happiness and let it show. I let it show even when I know it’s not good for me, because what have I got to lose? When was the last time I was truly happy? Is happiness even possible? Anyway…

“All I'm saying is that dolls aren't for boys.” “I see.. Then I guess you can have it. Here.” Mion probably really needed to hear that.

I wonder what deadly vices the seven main characters would have. Rika, I feel would be sloth. Shion would be envy. That’s about all I’ve figured out…

So when Shion heard those footsteps, he was hearing Hanyuu maybe? She was infected with Hinamizawa Syndrome, much like Satoko has, so… maybe people with Hinamizawa Syndrome can hear Hanyuu. My big question is, what is Hanyuu doing following Shion around? Just to tell Rika about it?

Think about it kids. If Rika has looped 1200 times, that means the probability of Rena and… I’m torn on Shiirena or Miirena as ships so I’ll say either… getting gay married, is not impossible. The probability of Rika and Satoko getting gay married is also not impossible. Just remember that.

Irie isn’t a bad person? He literally simps after little children. Yes he’s a bad person. He wanted to adopt Satoko for his own sick purposes. Yeah, he supposedly also cared about her, but come on. This is one of the few criticisms I have with Ryukishi’s writing, the sexualisation of his characters. It’s a funny gag in anime. But it’s not actually very funny. I don’t know if Japan as a whole just doesn’t get bothered by these things and sense of humour, but anime culture certainly doesn’t. It’s just not funny, and I wish he would treat it with seriousness. Irie making jokes about children in maid uniforms, like Rena, is not funny, and that’s just dismissed entirely. At the very least, I don’t think Umineko has many jokes about Maria like that. I think they don’t anyway, but there might’ve been one in the earlier arcs.

Ryukishi, come on. Takano being the killer is so obvious at this point. Like it’s driving me insane. Rika, how did you never question this woman??

I changed my mind. Pride is Rika’s sin. There are plenty of reasons the re-incarnation of a village god could be killed. Maybe someone non-religious wants to make a statement, for example.

Didn’t Takano kill Rika’s mother, I remember seeing that in the manga? I haven’t read all of the manga but I own the first two volumes and I’ve read that part online somewhere.

“I went to a forest and got killed in July.” Ohk, so hide in Antarctica then. Then you’ll live until August, and then die of hypothermia.

Okay the implication here is wild. So, not only does Tomitake have Hinamizawa syndrome, that might mean Keiichi’s dad does too? Or maybe Hanyuu is just having more of a human like presence the more weak her powers get. I know for a fact in arc 8 she starts showing up around the others.

So, is this the arc where Satoko gets rescued from Teppei? Because well, it’s arc 7. So I have a little issue really caring when I know Takano will just kill Rika and it won’t matter. What was it Rika said in this arc in the anime? “Kill me slowly, so I remember the face of my enemy.” Or something… I haven’t watched the anime since 2018, but I remember that.

“Hanyuu is not with me twenty four hours a day. She sometimes falls asleep, and sometimes she goes out for walks. Though in her case, it's not a walk, but more like a stalk. She follows people around when she finds someone interesting, and she enjoys observing them.” Well that explains a lot.

Okay, this is a rant unrelated to arc 7. I think the main reason I prefer meguri over Sotsu, again, unrelated to anything here, is the one scene where Satoko snaps. In Sotsu, or the end of Gou? Don’t remember, Satoko says something along the lines of “all I have to do is break Rika,” after learning about the torment Rika went through. But in meguri, at first she is horrified, and THEN she finally accepts that she needs to cause a tragedy. Because think of it this way, if you were told your friend had time looping powers and looped over 100 years to find a happy ending, but you still end up miserable in the end, you probably would be horrified, but then you would try and change things. It’s not Satoko jumping into sadistic behaviour that I don’t see as possible, it’s the immediate jump. Though some of my dislike for Sotsu is probably the fact that when I was younger and watching Higurashi I related to Satoko, and I still do, and in Sotsu, I realised I was like her too in that already, and it kind of worried me. But I think what bothered me most was the ending of Sotsu. Call me a pussy, but I cried at the ending, because it was so lacklustre. I have never cried at an ending because it was so bad, EVER. Satoko destroyed the previous loops, however that works, got immediately forgiven and then a half assed Umi reference is made and roll credits. And for the record, I’m not saying Satoko can’t be forgiven, but I’m saying the line about “I will return Satoko Hojo” to you kinda annoys me because like- sorry I’m trying not to laugh, like genuinely, was witch satoko not a metaphor??? Much like how Rika becomes more jaded overtime, Satoko became more sadistic overtime and in her own way jaded. But in the end, all of her trauma and other issues is just, poof, fine, and they go their separate ways. But something I really hate about Sotsu is Tatariakashi. It really doesn’t matter what justification you come up with, because you aren’t thinking about the real world implications of Tatariakashi. Let’s look at this from a meta context. Satoko Hojo is a victim of abuse who wasn’t believed because of her past pattern of lying (which might not have even been lying, but just her young brain not fully comprehending things, as it is implied), even though she actually was being abused in 1983. However, tatariakashi has Satoko lie about her abuse, which feeds into the whole “oh, well you shouldn’t believe children victims of abuse in case they’re lying,” thing. I don’t care what excuse you come up with. This arc exists only for shock value, and has nothing more to say, in both Sotsu and Meguri, and I will stand by that. What does this arc say about child abuse? Nothing. Absolutely nothing other than the indirect effect this arc has. When your message isn’t intentional, you fucked up. And don’t just tell me I’m just misinterpreting it. That’s a lazy excuse. Do you know how many people also ‘misinterpreted’ this arc? Sorry, but if your story can be misinterpreted this badly by many people, maybe it isn’t our fault, maybe it’s just bad writing. Because it is bad writing. This arc is detested for a reason. Let’s make something clear: even if Satoko was lying in Tatariakashi, that doesn’t mean that the right choice was not believing her. You should believe victims. The implication here is that by believing Satoko, Rika couldn’t overcome the tragedy again. Do you fucking see the problem? When believing a victim of abuse indirectly leads to tragedy, you’re kind of promoting that it was the wrong thing to do. Like come on. I’m just using common sense here. This arc is offensive to victims of childhood trauma, and I say this as one. Sorry I got a little heated. I just don’t like being treated like I just don’t “get” Tatariakashi. I get it. I just think it’s disgusting. Moving onto CH7 again. Sorry.

“People can't live without hope. People can survive because they believe that something good will happen to them eventually, as long as they keep on living. I had nothing left to bet on. All I could do was get hurt and suffer devastation, Blood flowed from my broken heart and found its way out through my eyes in the form of tears.” Powerful words my friend, powerful words.

I remember that Shion was very angry in the anime over Satoko’s abuse, so I wonder how she’ll act in the VN.

Higurashi Abridged but the characters are going in a circle about calling. “Keiichi, I tried to ring you but you were busy.” “Wait Rena, I’m getting a call from Shion.” “Alright, I’ll call Mii-chan then.” “Keiichi, I tried calling Rena but she wouldn’t pick up.” “She’s calling Mi- wait I’m getting a call.” “I tried calling Rena but she didn’t pick up, have you tried?” “Mion- she’s trying to call you.” Okay, maybe my sense of humour is a bit broken but in my head this is the funniest thing ever. A bit tone deaf but idk. The brain works in weird methods. They just go in circles about it for like 5 minutes straight not even getting to the point.

Like okay, if I made an abridged series I would probably make a parody of GouSotsu. I would have Satoko become a looper, but when Rika got hit by the chandelier, the rest of the club in all other timelines became absolute dolts as a result of the “curse of the chandelier” or something. So in each arc, Satoko would try to cause a tragedy, but Hinamizawa Syndrome it affects them in ridiculous ways and they have weird motives. Satoko and Rika are the only straight men of the group… ironically. Rika figures out Satoko is the looper because she’s the only club member with a brain. Like come on that would be peak comedy. I’d eat that shit up as an abridged series. And the characters would have shit about them flipped. Rena wouldn’t be paranoid because of aliens, she would be paranoid because she is an alien and thinks the government is after her. Mion isn’t the heir to the Yakuza, she’s the heir to something really mundane like… a furniture shop, but she takes it super seriously. (Umineko joke here.) I don’t have many ideas for Shion because she’s already pretty unhinged. She’d just have a deep country accent and make meta commentary. Okay, I need to stop making up a story for a hypothetical abridged series I am not making. It was just a “what-if.”

My character tier list is tricky because I love them all, but who is THE blorbo? I like Satoko a lot, but I also like Mion, and I like Shion. Oddly, I think Rena is losing favour with me. Not that she’s a bad character, just not my favourite anymore. I could’ve easily said Satoko was the blorbo, before GouSotsu came out. Look, I just see villain Satoko and think “you could be written so much better.” As well as “she just like fr” but let’s ignore that. Satoko is a very high synpath for me, or even fictionhearted, but mmm. I don’t know. Satoko and Mion are the blorbos right now, but I love all of them. Also, I’ve been thinking, and I’ll probably play the bonus arcs and add them as a separate posts. When I did Umineko’s two bonus arcs, my drafts got deleted. For those curious, I knew Piece’s identity like 30-40 minutes in, but still. And the only commentary for the other one was the idea of intersex Sayo and I thought Kumasawa saying “this is going to be the best prank ever” funny.

Going to 2018 tradition of writing every Higu birthday, as I only got halfway down thenfirstday… what. That doesn’t word. That’s not a sentence. I don’t speak. Well.

'Satoko, you've been a good girl so I guess your cold is all better now. Go back to school tomorrow.” “Thank you so much. Thank you so much...” He was the one who told her to say 'thank you' when he gives her approval to do something. But it annoyed him to hear her say it over and over.

Ugh what an asshole. She’s so scared of him. And Oryou won’t help her because of her family name? Ugh I hate Oryou.

I’m not crying, you’re crying. It’s hard when you remember Satoko is literally a little girl who is severely traumatised. She’s only 11. I don’t know her fear exactly, but I know what it’s like to have scary figures in your life as a kid… even if my case was not as bad as Satoko’s. It was more emotional than physical on their behalf. I was never good enough for them. I told my therapist on accident once and she got concerned, I didn’t understand why. My dad got very mad at me for telling the therapist about what he did. It didn’t really click for me until 2020 that something was truly off about this. And I’ve been afraid to call it what it is. Even now I question if it was emotional abuse or if I was just overreacting. Abuse is such a strong word. When others have it worse, can I really say that? It’s not like I’ve been perfect either. I was a brat as a kid. But it still hurt. But some things I found out are normal. Being forced to do your homework while being yelled at for hours on end is apparently a common experience cuz I saw a Twitter thread of people saying they related. So what else I went through was normal? Was it all normal? Was it all okay? I hope it isn’t normal. I hope this isn’t how it’s supposed to be. I wish I could be specific but my memories get foggy. I think I push them out for my own sake. Well, when I had breakdowns my parents would yell at me or mock me. My mom grabbed my throat once and shoved me against the wall. My dad pushed me down the staircase. They called me names. Was it an everyday occurrence though? No. Not every day. I don’t know how often. Weekly? Monthly. Yearly? Bi yearly? My dad has always yelled and insulted me for small things. But my grandfather did that too, when I spilled a drink on the floor. So is that normal or are my family just evil? I mean they are evil. My aunt recorded her 3 year olds mental breakdown once. They’re all evil. I don’t know why but I can’t remember anything! I’m trying but… I guess it was more emotional neglect than abuse, and when they were verbally abusive, the bottled up emotions just became too much to handle. My mom stopped taking me to therapy after I left school. I guess she thought that was the problem solved. She always treated me like a burden. They told me they didn’t care and that I was just crazy. My dad to this day tells me if I ever go outside when I’m not allowed to he will call the cops and say I am a ‘vulnerable youth’ and ‘too crazy to be out on my own.’ I am a legal adult btw. I don’t know what I’m talking about. I don’t like thinking about this. I’ll never forgive them either way. But I’m not overreacting. I’m not too sensitive. If I was, why would I be so traumatised? Sometimes I hear trauma symptoms and I relate to them a lot. Disassociation is an issue I have been dealing with for ages, for example. I dunno… I don’t care. Either way, I still hate my family.

I saw someone say today “traumas still trauma no matter whos "fault" it is.” Which… makes me feel a little less bad about my previous paragraph. Even if it is my fault, I’m still traumatised.

Okay actually MBTI real. Keiichi I still have no fucking clue for. Te-dom? Te-Si? Is that ESTJ? But wait, I don’t see… I don’t see Si. I see Te but also Se. Actually I see Se-Ti. Logical isn’t the word I would use to describe Keiichi. But if someone came up to him and told him something, but used reasoning that SOUNDED logically sound, I don’t think he’d think too much into it. So he’s Se-Ti but just. Incompetent?

Could he be Fi-dom? Se-Fi maybe? Because he’s very rash about his decisions, like with Teppei in Arc 3, didn’t even consider other peoples feelings in that. ESFP? Maybe? I don’t know. It feels wrong.

Mion seems to be… is saying Se-Fi again silly? Cuz here’s my logic. I don’t see Si-dom. I can see Fe-aux. But if I don’t see Si dom, she can’t be Fe dom. look I’m bad at this, okay? What’s the consensus here? ESFJ? Yeah. I see more Fe than Fi for her. I mean she literally wanted to save Rena from being roblox oofed by the cops last arc despite Rena attacking her brutally. But Si? Actually sure. Makes sense.

Shion… yeah, so, maybe Se? Se-Fi? Uhh… I don’t know… okay, so the consensus is ENFJ. Yeah actually, I was considering that but… Hm. The problem with Shion is that she is introduced as a more intense version of her usual self so it was hard to see Fe-dom. But I see it. Ni aux makes sense. I guess I just default to se-dom when I have no idea.

Rena is a Ne-dom to the point where she is like hilariously Ne dom. Ne-Fi. There’s no question, ENFP there. Hm, people agree. Cool. This was a no-brainer.

Satoko is Se-Fi. Again this one is easy. ESFP. And people agree.

Rika is Ni-Fe, I think, but she’s also kinda careless of her friends sometimes. But Fi-Ne doesn’t feel right. I don’t know why I jumped to her being a feeler anyway. But others agree with me so my lucky guess.

Hanyuu is SiFe I think… oh and people agree…

Satoshi is boring we don’t even need to care about this.

Keiichi: we can’t use violence to solve our problems. Also Keiichi: *fights with old people and goes to the leader of the yakuza to convince her to change her mind.*

Did Mion even try at all? If Oryou is that fickle about helping Satoko, it really does make me wonder. But well, I suppose Keiichi’s “put up a fight” story works. Though why couldn’t Mion do the same? Say that she fought with her grandmother and almost killed her. But I don’t know, if it’s family maybe that’s different. I still hate Oryou. I don’t care about her reputation. When a child is being abused, you help that child, period. There is no excuse. Period.

I know this is ironic because of my beliefs but Mion and Shion’s mom kinda hot? What?! Just because I personally don’t agree with having kids doesn’t mean I can’t be attracted to a MIL- okay, I’m gonna stop. 😭

Akane is so interesting. Apparently there’s a manga airing right now called Higurashi Oni, about Oryou, but I’m avoiding reading anything outside of Meguri for spoilers. Yeah I know I’m aware of most things in the story considering I’ve been a Higu fan since 2018 but- I still want to re-experience things in a perhaps new light.

AKANE?! Keiichi and Satoko shouldn’t be together. Isn’t Keiichi like 14? Okay so Satoko is a year older than I thought. Still, 11 and 14 is weird. 12 and 14 is still weird I think. But the way Satoko is drawn vs Keiichi, yeah, he’s too old for her. No.

So Satoko set up a trap for Teppei?

“There were times when I went on a rampage too,” strange. I never thought Rika did that. I always thought she never harmed anyone.

Takano is soooo hot when she’s probably plotting Jirou’s oofment.

Theory: Rika loses her memories not because of Hanyuu, but because she drinks her, ahem, let’s say orange juice so much she has a… memory loss in the morning, AKA, when she wakes up in the… void? Is that it?

“How dare you talk to the police before talking to us!” Based Satoko? Also I think Hanyuu is ISFJ cuz she seems Si-Fe. Yes I’m still thinking about that.

There was someone? Hanyuu? Hanyuu. Hanyuu didn’t believe.

“What's outside of the well? Is it something worth fighting for? What's outside of the well? Is it something worth getting hurt for? What's outside of the well? I'm going to fight and get hurt in order to find that out. I'm sure what's waiting is a beautiful world. Even if I get to the bottom of the well again. The key to the new world is my willingness to get out of here. Even if I can get out or not, I will eventually get to the new world...” It’s so simple, but effective. I… I am not one to take ‘inspirational’ quotes as gospel. When I was younger, a lyric, a poem, could change my outlook on life. I’m too old to be that easily swayed. I’m too jaded to feel anything but. I guess this poem makes me think, and not a lot of stories make me think. What’s outside of the well? Is it worth fighting for? If my life wasn’t worth it, I would’ve gave up by now, right? So I’m alive because I have some hope, whether I like it or not. And if I’m going to exist without living, without putting in any effort into winning this fight, then I’m just a coward who gets what I deserve. What else can I do? If I look at my life goals enough, maybe, maybe I’m not trying hard enough. Maybe it is my fault, maybe it isn’t. But either way, if I fight enough, can I win? Can sheer willpower make my life, or break me? I think I’d rather be broken than not try. I think I’d rather get my hopes up again than spend another 4 years never leaving the house. I don’t remember if it was 3, 4 or more. But 2022 was when I began leaving the house. This year, all I could do was sit around while other people did the work for me. Why? Why did I allow that? Because they wouldn’t let me. But why should I care what they let me do or not? It’s my life. If I want happiness, I have to fight for it. So, I don’t care what anyone says. If I want to go outside on my own, at my grown age, and look down my town to see if any job openings are there, I should be able to do that. Am I still scared of my parents? How pathetic. They were right, I never grew up. Just not in the way they think. If I’m an adult, I’m on an equal playing field with them. Even if they shelter me, does your landlord control everything you do? No. No they don’t. Can your landlord kick you out for that? No. But parents can. But is being kicked out my worst fear? No. It’s my dads threats to get me locked up in a mental facility if I try leaving, to lie to the cops. That scares me. But I can’t let myself be afraid anymore. So while I can’t let sentiments change my philosophy, it can change the way I implement my philosophy. And because of the existence of this quote, this level of reasoning is possible for Lemon. What do you think, everyone~

Wha- all these years I thought Takano’s first name was Takano. But if her grandfather is Hifumi Takano, then Takano has to be her surname. Isn’t her surname like Miyoko or something? Takano Miyoko. Miyoko Takano. Japanese prioritises family names. So is that a translation thing? No wait, that still makes no sense. Okay so her first name IS Miyo/Miyoko. I always got it the other way around. Easy mistake.

Didn’t need much reason, but have more to hate Irie.

Ryukishi’s words about mysteries makes me think of Scott Cawthon. Remember when the fnaf games were fun to solve and actually had somewhat clear answers? The golden era.

And, is that Bernkastel speaking to us? :0

CH8

You know , what if HS doesn’t exist? What if it’s just mass hysteria? Like sure H173 exists, but naturally occurring? What if that’s just like, a group reaction?

I know it’s just a coincidence, but Eriko is so similar to Erika. In Japanese, it’s very different. -Ko means child. Eri. What could eri mean? Collar? Picture laws of nature? Eri doesn’t mean much. Maybe Eriko is a word! Wait, it means collar child? Really? That’s pathetic. Erika Furudo and Rika Furude are more on the nose. They both can be written similarly to Frederica, I’d assume? According to GT, Frederica is “Furede Rika” in Katakana. I guess for whatever reason Ryukishi decided “ru” fit more than “re.” And Erika Furudo still sounds like Frederica backwards too. But yes, Eriko is just a coincidence. It may be one letter in English but in Japanese こ and か are different suffixes. Ka means flower I believe in suffixes. They’re both popular.

A lot of Higurashi characters have common name suffixes. Rika has ka, Keiichi has ichi, Rena has na, Satoko has ko, but you know who doesn’t? Mion. Mion and Shion aren’t really popular Japanese names. Shi means demon and Mi means uhh, flower I’m pretty sure. What does the ‘o’ mean? I don’t know. お and ん are different.

Bored a fuck won at Trivial Pursuit while listening to Takano’s war ramblings.

Oh, was Miyoko r-worded? I remember hearing that a long time ago, but I wouldn still pick up on it even if I didn’t. So, her friends were killed to set an example. She was taken to the bathroom and forced to… how awful. That’s a little girl.

Maybe I’m reading too deep into this, but maybe Ko was dropped because Miyo didn’t have a proper childhood? Like she felt like she lost her innocence. I know it’s a bit of a stretch but idk. Also I just remembered “4” can be written as both shi and yo, so it isn’t just a kanji thing like I predicted. I believe in Japanese, depending on dialect, different spellings occur? No; not dialect; something else. Sorry if I’m not wording this properly. So, the 34 reference should make more sense to Japanese people. Wait… Mi means 3? Oh! OH! Okay, so there’s two ways to read Japanese, right? So, maybe Mi means 3 in that! Because I learnt 3 as “San” and 4 as “Shi,” so the other way of reading it must be “Mi” and “Yo.” That is 34. I also believe it has relevance to the Greek alphabet, Lambda and Delta. I know Delta is the 4th letter, so I’m assuming Lambda is the 3rd. Bravo. Vi- FUCK, WRONG SHOW. I mean- novel?

Oh yeah, can’t Hifumi be written like “一二三”? Or am I misremembering? ALSO, DONT WHAT INSIDE OF YOU SATOSHI? These translators are dirty. Actually, maybe I’m dirty. Seriously, is that a translation error? I know it’s technically correct but like- it makes it hard to take it seriously when he’s asking the “other” him to not… ahem, “go” inside… his mind.

Shit? Did my draft erase?! Damn, I went on a speech about how it’s been 11 months since I started this journey and all that crap. Well, whatever. I’ll post this then go back and edit it. I say a lot of shit here so if I say anything that doesn’t make sense or is wrong I probably changed my mind along the way.

[egopocalypse]

💀

go forth

unleash the hounds of hell GSGGDHS

💀 Doomsday... just anything about Doomsday.

OH BOY, HERE WE GO.

Most of what I'm about to say has been hashed out over and over again throughout the last year and a half, but as a writer myself, I hope I can offer a new lens in which to look at these old, well-debated arguments.

Narrative-wise, I understand why Doomsday happened. It was meant to be the lowest point of the story, the darkest hour before c!clingy made their final strike against c!Dream. It's a clear step in the Hero's Journey and arguably one of the most important for the emotional catharsis of a satisfying ending. If the stakes aren't raised enough prior to the final fight, the whole journey feels anticlimactic, which means the characters and audience won't feel that same euphoria from overcoming the Shadow (aka the villain, aka c!Dream).

However, that only focuses on how Doomsday ties into the plotline involving c!Dream. That doesn't factor in at all in regards to c!emeraldduo, whose views and reactions to Doomsday tend to be the focus of most Doomsday-related discourse (for good reason).

For c!Techno's and c!Phil's stories, Doomsday is when they (at least in my eyes) turned from anti-villains into pure villains. While I understand from their viewpoint why they decided to destroy L'Manberg, the lack of narrative consequences they've received since has ruined any potential impact Doomsday could've had on their stories. Doomsday should've severed ties with everyone in the server who fought against them, but with the Syndicate's formation and actions post-Doomsday into the present, there have been no personal ramifications for their involvement in Doomsday.

In fact, in c!Phil's case, he tried to make an excuse for it via the letters plotline, but ultimately dropped the idea when he had the potential to learn why L'Manberg mattered in the first place and possibly redeem himself in the eyes of its ex-citizens. c!Techno, meanwhile, thought Doomsday was such a great success that he decided to form a secret club to pull off the exact same catastrophe if he ultimately decided there was another threat to his individual power. However, because he's failed to realize that was never the point of L'Manberg (at least, not to its people), the only thing he's done with the Syndicate is use them to throw around his own power, first with the Snowchester interrogation and then with the prison break. He hasn't learned anything about why L'Manberg felt they had to form a government (which really only became official once the elections occurred), nor why they banded together in the first place. His mindset has become so stagnant that it would take him actually losing a canon life (which he also made impossible by claiming he just has the one) or something of that magnitude to shake his worldview and start to consider other people's perspectives. Anything less would only cause him to seek vengeance and perpetuate the cycle of violence he loves to claim is universal.

Doomsday should've led to some regret and character development for c!emeraldduo, but because nothing came of it, they have the exact same ideals as before and once again committed an atrocity that (if the c!discduo Boy Who Cried Wolf arc ever picks up again) should have severe negative impacts on not only the server, but their own selves. While static characters are usually fine in stories, the streaming medium requires them to undergo some sort of character development if they wish to be POV characters, and they have yet to have anything change their views of reality and power. Until that happens, the actions they commit makes them villains in my eyes, even if they are not the biggest threat on the server.

TL;DR: Doomsday progressed the c!clingy vs. c!Dream story in a way that made sense, but provided no progress for c!emeraldduo's stories, despite plenty of opportunities to do so, making their static characters antagonists (even villains) with no ramifications for their actions.

Ask game

[hatterstan-shameblog]

*emerges from the depths of the aib fandom*

Hello :>

So, I was scrolling the other day on tumblr, and i found a person that has fanarts of aib (mainly with those two psychos from the J♡. But hey, there's also stuff with chishiya and kuzuryuu. Unfortunately, there's no stuff with hatter or other characters up there), and i happened to stumble upon a sketchy fanart of chishiya chilling on a couch and holding an angry hedgehog, that turns out to be kuzuryuu. And now I'm thinking about a grumpy hedgehog kuzu chilling on chishiya's head while searching for hatter since he's the one that turned him into a smol spiky animal when he was sleeping in the first place, and with no other thing than the magical pills that he uses to turn into a duck/peacock whenever he wants.

And if you don't mind it, or if you'll have time, can you do that as well?

you had me until "kuzuryuu as a hedgehog" and hoo boy did it get wild from there

.......but I still did a little something for it.

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

Shit, Okay, I Guess We're Doing This To Kuzuryuu Too

Rating: PG

Warnings: None, unless you count "flashbacks to Sherlock days where everyone said Watson was a hedgehog for some reason"

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

It's Aguni's day off.

...Okay, he doesn't really get days off in the Borderlands, but this is as close to a day off as he can manage. No early meetings, no training or patrols scheduled. It's a rare day where he can sleep in and not have to scream at anyone before breakfast. (Not unless he wants to scream at anyone before breakfast, of course.)

So, naturally, after very excitedly going to bed at a reasonable hour with the intention to be unconscious until long after the sun comes up, he gets a knock on the door.

At three in the morning.

He's too angry to be angry; too annoyed to be annoyed. Murphy's Law applies to the Borderlands as well, and there's nothing he can do to escape it.

So he opens the door and accepts a note, three words scribbled messily onto the paper with blue ink.

Help.

Pill.

Hedgehog.

And it's signed at the bottom with a "K."

Only one person in this whole damn place would make sure their distress note was appropriately punctuated and aligned in business letter format—Kuzuryuu. And the fact that Kuzuryuu is in enough trouble to send a note instead of walking the ten steps it takes to get to Aguni's room and explaining it himself means something has gone terribly, inconveniently wrong.

Also, the words 'pill' and 'hedgehog' inspire a disgusting swirl of discomfort in the pit of Aguni's stomach. The Wizard of the Borderlands has struck again, but why would Kuzuryuu take the pill in the first place? The first two events were nightmares, and last time...well, they don't even talk about last time.

So Aguni has no choice but to throw on a robe and go next door to check on the man. He lets himself in (one of the few times the 'no locks rule' at the Beach has come in handy) and waits until the door is completely call out.

"Kuzuryuu? You here?"

A high-pitched sigh comes from the left.

"Yes," Kuzuryuu's voice says, an octave higher than usual and a little quiet in the spacious room, "Over here, on the table."

"Oh."

Sure enough, beneath the golden glow of a table lamp sits a round little creature about the length of a bank note, it's beady eyes framed by an itty-bitty pair of reading glasses.

It's terribly adorable.

"Mhmm."

"You're...very little."

"I am."

Aguni's face softens a little.

"It must've been hard to write the note."

"You did a good job, though," He says, "Very legible."

"It took forty-five minutes," Kuzuryuu confirms. "I kept losing control of the pen."

The pen in question lies next to the creature—why it must almost be the size of Kuzuryuu's new rodent body. Aguni shudders at the thought of using a six-foot-tall pen.

"Thank you."

The little hedgehog shifts his miniscule glasses up his nose.

"I—why, yes. Yes, it did."

"Before you ask: yes, I met the wizard. I don't really want to get into all the details, but he gave me pills. Like the bird ones Hatter keeps getting, but mine are obviously different." the spines on Kuzuryuu's back flutter in annoyance, "Anyways, I had a hell of a migraine pop up and mistook the wizard pills for my pain medication and ended up like this."

"Did your headache go away?"

"Indeed. But I'd very much like to turn back into my normal self, so if you could—"

"At least it wasn't a complete loss, i guess?"

The hedgehog furrows his little brow.

"Oh. Right. Yeah, I can get you the pills."

"They're on the bathroom counter. I trust you remember what the bottle looks like?"

Aguni scoffs.

"Wish I didn't."

And he walks the short distance to the bathroom and sees the bottle of wizard pills on the counter. There is also another, very similar bottle next to it, which must have been the medication Kuzuryuu had been looking for.

"I hate to trouble you further," Kuzuryuu says as Aguni re-enters the room with the pills in hand, "but I need you to help me get back to the bed. I barely made it over here in the first place."

"Uh...yeah. Okay." Aguni looks nervous, "Those spikes aren't gonna stab me, are they?"

"No. That would only happen if I was trying to protect myself from a predator. You should be able to handle me without injury."

"Okay."

Aguni leaves the wizard pills on the end table. Technically, as the 2 to his 3, Kuzuryuu is his boss. Would carrying him to bed negatively affect their working relationship? That would be inconvenient.

"I'm, uh," Aguni says, slowly reaching for Kuzuryuu's tiny hedgehog body, "I'm just gonna, uh, scoop you up real quick and..."

"Not to be weird," Aguni says, "but you're cute like this."

His hands are cupped to cradle the little creature who would probably fit in one of Aguni's palms had he been a more competent animal hadler. Very gently, as if he was holding a sleeping kitten, Aguni lifts the hedgehog from the end table and over the mattress.

"Oh, yeah, the spikes aren't a problem at all," Aguni comments. He smiles a little. "It's kinda nice."

"Not to be rude," Kuzuryuu says nervously, "but I...do not enjoy heights."

Aguni quickly places him down gingerly against one of the pillows and, before he can stop himself, drags the sheet up to cover the lower half of the little mammal's body.

"That was very weird," Kuzuryuu replies, "but I appreciate the sentiment."

Aguni opens the pill bottle on the nightstand and taps out a pink pill—he hates that he knows the pink ones are human pills, and he dreads the next time Hatter calls him over to untwist the childproof cap off of his personal supply.

"Thank you for all of this," Kuzuryuu says as he's handed the pill. He holds it between his tiny hands, ready to pop it into his mouth and begin the transformation back to his normal self.

"No trouble," Aguni says. He means it, mostly. This has been his least dramatic run-in with the wizard's strange pharmaceuticals, and it's nice to have one of these events go smoothly.

"I'll leave you to it," Aguni says after a moment. He rises from where he had been seated on the edge of the bed, readjusting his robe so that it hugs his tired body more snugly.

"I appreciate it. We know how...disturbing these transformations can be," Kuzuryuu laments. "So, anyways, goodnight. And thank you again."

"Like I said, no problem. Hope you feel better soon."

With nothing more to say, Aguni leaves Kuzuryuu's room and trudges back to his own. It's only a quarter past three, which means he has plenty of time to get back to bed and enjoy and extended rest.

Maybe he'll pretend this was all a dream, he thinks as he lets the robe drop to the floor and he tucks his tired body back into the embrace of his bed. A weird dream that wasn't a nightmare, but definitely wasn't great, either.

And when Aguni dozes back off, he dreams of hedgehogs.