#why lost more than anything else? its just worked out that way. tho lost memes happen to be the easiest to make

[simptasia]

my 150th lost meme set is coming up. please don’t expect anything special for it [lifeless peace sign]

[kanohivolitakk]

Have you done Krekka for the ask game? I know you're a huge Nidhiki fan, curious if you have any thoughts on his partner?

I haven't gotten Krekka yet actually. So far I only done Toa Ignika and Axonn for the Bionicle ask game (which Im still accepting). That being said great choice. Krekka isn't necessarily a big favorite of mine (partially because I'm not that fond of the "dumb brute" archetype barring a few exceptions), but I have to admit I do have a soft spot for the big guy. Krekka is a relatively simple character when it comes to characterization/backstory/role in the story (especially when compared to Nidhiki), but that doesn't mean I don't have any "deeper" thoughts regarding him or that there isnt stuff worth discussing.

Anyways some thoughts/headcanons/general musings:

This is a weird thing to start with but... Krekka is kinda adorable for me. I think its kinda this ...overgrown puppy (bulldog??) vibe due to his loyalty and dumbness. I admit BOADH is a big reason for me feeling this way since it gave him a few moments that made me go "AWWW he's so cute". Just..love his loyalty so much.

His undying loyalty makes him stand out for me across the other dark hunters. While many dark hunters we ha e are opportunistic and schemy, Krekka is just...very loyal. Maybe too much so. But I love that he is loyal. Feels refreshing tbh.

And now I cant help but feel that TSO is just "guys stupid but at least he wont double cross me and is easy to keep in check" when it comes to him.

Not to go woobifying villains but I genuinely dont think the guys that bad. Hes just really stupid, overly loyal and doing his job. Its kinda like w Lariska being a decent person despite being a knife happy murder girl although to a much lesser extent since guys a literalminded fool and also just smashy boy.

I do like his backstory of being a former guard who lost his job and started wreck havoc until one day a dark hunter found and hired him. It isnt anything too complex but it works well for his character and explains why he is so loyal to Dark Hunters. It also helps bringing a bit more light to his homeland and I love when we get more info of places through character backstories, makes the world feel more real that way.

Also can Gorast please stop hurting charaxters I like. This is the reason shes my least favorite character in the 2001-2008 storyline that isnt just a glorified extra or a plot device.

When it comes to Krekka, one scene I always think of when I think of him is in BOADH where he temporarily forgot to fly and Nidhiki was just "WAIT A MOMENT LARISKA TOLD ME YOU CAN FLY????" and Krekka just goes "whoops I forgot". That was adorable honestly. You dumb idiot, forgot you could fly.

Also, I know he's kinda "the idiot character", and while I am NOT saying he isn't, I do think its worth pointing out that he's basically literal minded. In BOADH (again) when Nidhiki tried to do that training scenario Krekka basically was like "wait I’m here, there’s nothing there why should I move there". This is

Another thing I really like about Krekka is that how, despite being an absolute idiot and tool, he still is willing to sometimes not take Nidhikis bullshit, see preventing him from getting the Zamor launchers (geez BOADH did a lot for this guys characterization lmao)

I sometimes call him truck boy because his name is one letter off my languages word for truck.

Also unless canon/word of Greg says otherwise I don't think every member of his species is as stupid as him. Like possibly on similar level but still.

It is made pretty clear that Nidhiki couldn't stand Krekka at all, but I do genuinely wonder how Krekka feels about Nidhiki. Based on the little we have I'd say he liked him to some extent or at the very least, didn't hate him to the same degree. I also have to wonder how aware he was about Nidhikis haterd towards him.

I also love the idea that when Nidhiki was mutated, Krekka just...wasnt afraid of him at slightest, no fear in this dumb boy. (I also like the idea he didnt recognize him at first and Nidhiki just, had to explain to his thick skull who he was. It took a while but eventually he got it.)

On a related note, I find it interesting how the LOMN website describes him working with Nidhiki because guy knows where to get the good jobs or something rather than being his goverment (read TSO) assigned partner The way the twos relationship were described makes it feel that by this point the staff hadnt figured out what they wanted to do with Dark Hunters , or if it even was an organization or just these two tools.

Its really interesting for me how Krekkas characterization not only varies between the books/comics (where hes more intimidating and him being a simpleton isnt as pronounced) and the movie (where hes more of a dumbass) but also how his characterization evolved. Like, his loyalty wasn't that pronounced trait but now I feel its just as important part of him as him being a dumbass (which is to say, very interesting)

I remember how the aftoermentoined Metru Nui movie website described that Krekka hated toa to the point wouldve hunted them for free if Nidhiki didnt make sure the two would get paid. I feel this is somewhat early installment weirdness as it isnt mentioned anywhere else but at the same time Krekka being willing to fight without payment sounds 1000% in character if you ask me

Something I have been confused over: when exactly was Krekka recruited to the dark hunters??? The timeline is very vague about this and I wish we knew.

It's been AGES since I watched my home countrys dub of LOMN but what I recall I really liked Krekka's voice in that dub. He sounded more badass and I loved it, the VA had a pretty unique sound. Sadly dont think there is any clips of the LOMN dub, which is a shame. UPDATE: I rewatched the dub and I love the voice itself but felt the voice direction made him sound kinda inconsistent

This is more a "Nidhiki and Krekka related thought" rather than just Krekka related but one thing I really like about Krekka and Nidhiki is that how they are like a more serious and competent take of "those two evil henchmen with contrasting personalities" trope. Often these types of villains are rather goofy, but these two could be rather dangerous as well and I really like that. I also like their dynamic of just doing Nidhiki being done with Krekkas bullshit. One of the main reasons I wish LOMN was a miniseries rather than a movie is because I really wanted more screentime with the two.

On a related note can I JUST SAY I LOVE the way the two compliment/pararell each other. From design (Krekka being bulky mostly blue colored, Nidhiki being slender and monstrous, mostly green colored) to personality (Krekka being foolish and simpleminded but loyal Nidhiki being cunning and ambitious but treacherous) to powersets (Krekka being strong physical attacker, Nidhiki being weaker(??) but faster and more special attacker).Heck, even their backstories have similarities as they both lost their orginal purpose in one way or another and didnt have anywhere to go but Dark Hunters (the main difference being that Nidhiki inflicted his fate upon himself by betraying the toa while Krekka didnt really do anything iirc)

Now for something crossovery, Krekkas and Nidhikis dynamic reminds me a lot of Kronk and Yzma from Emperors New Groove. Yes I have drawn a parody of the "pull the lever kronk" meme, yes I intend to make more screencap redraws. They also remind me a lot of Mummymon and Archenemon from Digimon 02, partially due to the dynamic (smug spider that tries to be cunning and intimidating but gets outclassed by most other villains in that + loyal blue dumb boy) partially due to their ultimate fate being rather similar.

I don't know how familiar you are with the franchise, but Krekka reminds me a fair bit of Gamel, one of the four villain generals in Kamen Rider OOOs, mainly because "the dumb brute major villain that's kinda cuteish and loyal a f while everyone else is an asshole".

I remember reading a p good oneshot fic that was just him accidentally killing a civilian when all he wanted was a hug and...honestly that is p much what I imagine him being like. Guy may be strong, reckless and a fool but like I said I dont think hes all that bad and just a puppy. An overgrown, moronic puppy but a puppy nontheless

For AUs, I remember I have thought once of "What if Krekka survived but Nidhiki died" and just ...guy wouldve been very lost and confused and unsure what to do tbh. He would most likely returned to Dark Hunters but Mata Nui knows how say TSO wouldve felt about that. Its not too complex au yet but I am thinking of developing it further one day.

Thank you for asking.

Sorry this took longer than expected. I had too many thoughts and half of them were deleted so. I hope its worth the wait tho. I do have a lot of Krekka thoughts and tbh wasnt sure if I was even able to get them all here.

(I am still doing the ask game so if anyone wants to send me a bonkle I will try to give thoughts, meta and headcanons on them)

[furry-emblem]

You know what, after talking about how biases and stuff mess with 3H discourse, I'm going to go over my biases and personal experiences with each major faction leader because I feel like it. I don’t really want people arguing with me on these, but I would like to hear other people describing their experiences with these characters because that’s always interesting to read about. I'm listing the characters in order of how much I liked them.

Byleth

Also known as erotica, keyboard smash, Sothis, another keyboard smash, BoobBoob, and Boobama. I really dislike them. I’ve never been particularly fond of silent or self-insert protagonists. At best, they signal to me that the game isn’t going to bother with its story or character writing (and that’s fine when that’s the case), while at worst, it’s the writers taking the most important character in the story and then throwing their hands up and saying “we don’t need to write this one.” Byleth feels like the ladder and it’s to the detriment of pretty much everyone around them. Like, even considering that silent protagonists are supposed to be characters that the player projects onto, Byleth doesn’t do a good job at this because there’s enough canonical descriptions of them that you can’t really roleplay, but there’s so little going on that they don’t stand on their own two feet. So it’s like having a piece of cardboard dictate the fate of the country. They also primarily function as a wall for characters to exposition dump their backstories onto, which isn’t very interesting to watch. Like, 3H would have been better off without Byleth in it. 0/10.

Rhea

I just haven't had the chance to see a lot of her stuff, so I think I'm missing some of the stuff that makes people like her (and I'd prefer to not have that spoiled for me). Haven't seen her supports or the Church Route, but she just hasn't left me with a good impression. I don't like how possessive she gets of Byleth. Like, it creeps me out a little. I'm also a bit disappointed that you never get to play as her. I want the pope to bitch slap people (except not my people). I remember her being an antagonist in CF felt kind of forced to me when I first played because her reactions felt a bit silly. The problem wasn't whether they were justified or not, the problem was lack of context given and the fact that she was saying stuff like "You will BURN in the PITS OF HELL" while standing perfectly still and making this face >:(. And I just couldn't take that seriously for whatever reason because it felt cheesy and I didn't really understand what was going on. It also soured any endearment Rhea showed towards Byleth to me on future routes because her actions in CF gave me the impression of her being obsessive and controlling of Byleth. Like, she acted entitled to their loyalty, expected them to be something they never asked for, and flipped the fuck out when they rejected. It reminded me a lot of some abuse I've gone through and it made me dislike the character. Now that I have more context on the character, I get why she reacted so suddenly and violently because CF kinda threw all of her triggers at her. It feels like she dug her grave in that route, but she dug it in a way that resembles a Greek Tragedy more than anything else. My second route was Claude's route, which thoroughly disappointed me in terms of its writing. When Rhea was exposition dumping her backstory, I was like "I'm boooored," so that really didn't help my opinion of the character. I also don't really like how she gets damsels in three out of four routes. I still don't actively like the character very much because she left a really sour taste in my mouth, but I understand that I'm missing information and that there are reasons to like her. I'm open to learning more about her, but she just really rubs me the wrong way.

Yuri

I never finished Cindered Shadows and I have no real opinion on Yuri. I thought he was a girl when I first saw him and I think he's fun to play as in gameplay, so I guess there's that. I don't really see myself replaying Cindered Shadows if I even finish it because it lacks a lot of the major things I liked from 3H.

Seteth

Does he even get to count? Like, he's not in charge and Rhea should've probably been the leader of Silver Snow. Haven't played that route yet. I like Seteth. He's got good dad energy and also he's my wife (specifically in Verdent Wind). He's got good vibes. Also, if you kill Flayn in Crimson Flower, his English voice acting when he's like "Flayn Noooo" gets to me. I still really like Seteth. A solid 8/10 for me.

Dmitri

I wasn't following Three Houses advertising at all, so I didn't know anything about anyone going in. I was originally just going to skip him entirely because he looked boring and had shitty hair. So I did his route last. Partially out if curiosity for the character, partially because I might as well do every major route since I'd already done Claude and Edelgard, partially to get to know some of the Blue Lions, and partially because some of Edelgard's backstory is only revealed in this route and I was curious about that. Dmitri's route definitely has the best writing out of any of the routes. I really like how personal the route is and how much it focuses on how one specific event impacted all of the characters in it. There are some big problems I have with the route and Dmitri, like how the game uses psychosis to represent Dmitri being murdery and how him changing his mind felt more like Byleth's decision than his own due to their conversation being pretty bad. But overall, he has the best writing. I'd strongly recommend playing through his route if you haven't just because the writing's rather good there. The reason why he's ranked below Claude and Edelgard, however, is pretty simple: I just don't vibe with him. Like, the hero archetype bores the hell out of me, even when it is subverted like it is here. I also just didn't relate to the character on really any level while I did with Claude and Edelgard. The amount of Edelgard slander in his name also annoys me, but I don't think it really impacts how much I like Dmitri. He's a well written character that I just don't vibe with. I also remember his death in Verdant Wind and being like “wtf was that??” Like, the writers killed him offscreen.. twice. In the same route.

Claude 

I really enjoyed Claude as a character. He left a good first impression on me and I almost picked him for my first playthrough because he’s hot and sassy. Two good traits for any character. I ended up picking Edelgard, though, and he left a good impression on me during CF. I like that he held the alliance together and had a contingency plan for if he lost that battle. When I played his route, I ended up going Hard Mode NG+ Casual and I stuck everyone on a dragon. I did find it funny that throughout the school phase, Claude learns bow stuff repeatedly, then in one of the last months, he went up to me and was like “hey, can you start teaching me in axe and flying?” Which he had nothing in either. Then timeskip happens and he comes waltzing in on a dragon. Claude is where all the good memes in the fandom go. That said, I really disliked his route because Claude felt like an afterthought in it (because he literally was). I don’t like that I got out of the route and it felt like I didn’t know as much more about the character going out than I did going in. Some of that is because I didn’t see a ton of his supports, which is where pretty much all of the character work is. I like how Claude is open minded and actively tries to seek out the truth. So, overall, I found his route a bit disappoint but I still really like him because he’s a fun character.

Edelgard

I fucking love Edelgard. She was my first pick and therefore the character that introduced me to the game, and by extension, the series of Fire Emblem. I picked her because she’s pretty, she looked ready to fistfight god from the word go, and she seemed like the mascot of the game so I figured the writers might put a bit extra effort into her route (they didn’t, rip). My very first playthrough was actually a Normal/Classic run, but I had to abandon the run because literally everyone died four hours into the save (I swapped to Normal/Casual). Edelgard ended up carrying me through my first playthrough. I stuck her on a dragon and she killed literally everyone and everything. In my most recent playthrough of the game, I did CF and made her an archer mage dancer for the memes and that was also a ton of fun to play with. Her gameplay feel had a role in me liking her (like, Dmitri is also very powerful, but it was my third playthrough and I knew what I was doing better by then, so him being just as OP as Edelgard didn’t really influence my opinion on him as much as it did her). 

Besides the gameplay, Edelgard’s probably the major character that I relate to the most. Every character on this list (except maybe Byleth or Yuri, I know literally nothing about Yuri tho) has experience with trauma and is coping with it in some way. Edelgard copes by villainizing herself and shutting off her emotions, but despite that, she’s still a low-empathy person who’s still very compassionate person who cares about others and is trying to do the right thing. She also generally tries to express some amount of compassion to her enemies, even if it’s little more than saying “it sucks that Dmitri had to die.” She’s not as open-minded or as truth-seeking as Claude is, but she still tries to keep herself open to other viewpoints and will readily accept any she deems as valid at a moment’s notice. I just really like that about her because I share a lot of those traits in common with her. I also like the idea of her being someone who’s willing to do evil things to bring good to the world. That’s not something you normally get in a protagonist and I think that’s a cool idea. 

I still found her route to be very awkward, especially with no context. Like, I missed the line where Edelgard’s like “yeah, btw, I’m the Flame Emperor,” so I was just wondering what happened there. It’s an anticlimactic way to end the main plot of the first half of the game. I also didn’t really get Rhea’s angle at all. So the route just felt a lot like “I guess I’m doing this now??” In other routes, I found her deaths to be very hard hitting. The death in Verdant Wind only really got me because I really liked Edelgard and she was my original student and I could feel how much she wanted to make her future a reality and how her failing meant all of those sacrifices she made and the evils she’d done would now all be for nothing. I get that impression with Azure Moon’s ending too. 

Most of my appreciation for the character does come from her support conversations. I like how her chain with Bernie has her trying to learn how to not scare her off. Her interactions with Dorothea in their support chain are kind of sad because Dorothea is trying to show her admiration and love for Edelgard in a way that makes sense to her but then Edelgard’s low view of herself causes her to reject the offer. I really liked her Manuela support too (haven’t seen Hanneman’s but I’ve heard that it’s good). I like how with Manuela, Edelgard learns why people are religious and she that being religious doesn’t make you weak. I like her Linhart support where he calls her out for trying to dictate his life and she responds by trying to overhaul some of her own systems and assumptions about him, which leads to her giving him a role to the empire that also properly accommodates for his needs. I like how with Ferdinand’s supports, he has to learn to let go of their rivalry, but once that does happen, Edelgard takes into account his ideas and roles with them. I think it’s funny that she and Hubert flirt with each other by sending each other credible death threats. Edelgard just has a lot of very good supports. Don’t get me wrong, Claude and Dmitri also have supports that are good (I thought Claude’s support chain with Petra was cute and I really like Dmitri’s support chain with Flayn), but Edelgard’s supports go a long way to paint her as someone who is flawed but still really admirable.

Edelgard is definitely one of my favorite fictional characters, and I’d love to see more characters like her in the future.

[faejilly]

I was tagged by @la-muerta​ & @facialteeth​ & @thedivinemissema​ for the WIP/Title Game

rules: post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. send me an ask with the title that most intrigues you and interests you and i’ll post a little snippet of it or tell you something about it!

AND THEN  by @shadoedseptmbr​ @msviolacea​ & @ravenclawnerd​ for the “stories you want to write... but for some reason haven’t yet”

so this will be a mish-mash of both? The WIPs will mostly have blurbs in this case (to fit the second meme) but you are still welcome to ask follow-up questions, if you’d like ;) Assuming you make it through the list, it is uh. Not Short.

Anyone who would like to play with their WIPs, please consider yourself tagged in either or both of these. :D

Misc Fic Folder:

“untitled document” - where I’m working on fictober fills so I have word-counts for my GYWO tracker. I am not working on these because Brains Are Dumb and also Going Back To Work Is Exhausting

I made a file called “YULETIDE!” which has nothing in it but I’m determined to finish this year so that is definitely technically a thing in the Unending WIP List of Doom worth mentioning. (Tho obviously that’s all I could say even if I had started, because anonymous.)

“coda-fics, rewatch!” -yes, that exclamation mark is important! it’s to keep me motivated! (it didn’t work). Much like untitled, this is for putting stuff so I can do word count tracking even if I don’t know what I’m doing. Currently I think it just says “MARYSE” because I was working on my SH 1x6 coda-fic and then got distracted and haven’t typed anything up yet. (Yay notebooks? Boo notebooks? Not even sure at this point.)

WNIP (works not in progress) Folder:

“TOG” - I had one vivid mental image of how Nicky & Joe met (blood-stained evil smiles?) but then no idea for a follow-up story and also the fandom is insane and I’m not sure I want to deal with all of *gestures vaguely* all that

“Shan Xia Notes” -for a TTRPG that never quite got off the ground; she was a semi-tragic selkie who was still in love with the evil queen/lady who stole her skin and I got to play her for like one session and she was surprisingly chaotic neutral, which wasn’t at all what I’d been expecting. But the game never really got off the ground, so I never had enough info to really delve into writing backstory fic

“post-Kruschev” -Kruschev’s List was the last episode of Scarecrow & Mrs King, and I was debating writing an epilogue in place of the s5 we never got, to try and tie up some loose ends, but the fandom’s three old-ladies in trench coats and I never quite worked up the gumption to get it anywhere

“Code Realize warm as silk sequel” -there is literally nothing in this file except “SEX! Only a little angst” because I wanted to write some “we can’t actually touch each other” smut but never actually did. 🤷‍♀️

BioWare (also all Not-In-Progress Anymore)

“seb/adelaide”, “Theia” & “DAI Erana” -these WIP folders were cannibalized for ficlets for the last few times I did fictober, and while originally I had ideas for longer epilogues for all three of them, at this point I don’t think any of the remaining bits could support a story any longer.

”whispers in the dark” -Maia Ryder never really got much fic at all; the cancellation of any further Andromeda stuff was really disheartening, and at this point I’d have to play the game again, and I don’t think I’m gonna manage that any time soon

”TSP” -a Mass Effect 3 Shepard AU collab project that kind of went off the rails, and our mutual brains/lives never quite seem to line up so we can try and rebuild it ”Ngaio & Tane” -my one truly ruthless Shepard (Alliance background, who romanced Traynor) whose father Tane Shepard was, I think, in PsyOps, and I wanted to figure out their complicated relationship but never really did know where I was going with it

”JE Zu & Yaling” -so I’ve rambled about my Tragic Sagacious Zu Romance Thoughts regarding Jade Empire more than once (#Icy Yaling should have most of it) but apparently I want to yell about it more than I want to actually write it? Whoops.

”CI sequel: 5 times fic?” -Cruel Intentions is a kinkmeme fill that I started and then it sat for like five years before I actually finished it, and I liked the ending, but it does leave a giant fucking question mark in terms of how those people got from there to where they are after the game, and I kind of wanted to write a proper h/c fic rather than just... leaving them wallowing in all that trauma?

But I didn’t. I don’t even remember for sure how I wanted to frame the 5/1 of it all, besides it being something sad about allowing people to see you or touch you in some way. (Prayers maybe, since I think there was definitely some Sebastian & Fenris & faith stuff going on in there.)

“candles” -Merribela prompt fill that I never was happy with? Not sure what I might do with it at this point, so it’s just sitting there all sad and lonely and neglected-like.

Shadowhunters

pt1: WIP LIST ONLY

“Persuasion” -so I keep trying to write Persuasion AUs in many fandoms because it’s my favorite Austen, but I think I like it too much, I have no real solid concept of how I’d transform it, and if I don’t have anything else to say about different characters within that framework, I have no push to actually write anything? Also this SH version of it suffered from MASSIVE scope creep when I started outlining and it got too big for me to handle so I like, killed it twice? Whoops. This one is really probably never gonna happen.

“oosdt sequel” -I wanted to write more about the Forest That Eats People and Magnus & Alec as Guardians Between Worlds, and also some background Magnus’ Found Family & Lightwood Family Feels (maybe some clizzy?) and I left a Madzie plot-thread dangling from the first one on purpose even but I think this one had too many ideas and not enough focus so it’s sort of sprawling all over a doc with a lot of “???” in it

“procedural-ish” -this was originally going to be a sex-farce. and then it turned more serious. and then maybe kind of copaganda which was uncomfortable in terms of the Everything That Is The News in 2020, and then maybe it was more a Mafia AU and at that point I had self-inflicted tone whiplash and I wished the voices in my head were a little more forthcoming about their plans so I stopped before I brained myself on my computer monitor in frustration.

“I had rather a rose than live forever” -I started a reverse!verse Malec (Shadowhunter!Magnus, High Warlock!Alec) for bingo last year, and I couldn’t quite get it together in time, so I made a moodboard inspired by the bits I’d started instead. I may see if one of my prompts from Bingo this year help me finish it?

“fall fright fest (practical magic  au)” -exactly what it says on the tin! almost exactly a year old & neglected! IDEK ANYMORE (I talked about this one with the WIP meme last time tho: here)

“priest!kink theology?” -I thought it was gonna be smut? I like priest!kink. I have made other people like it and yell at me even! But then I kept diverging into demon!Magnus thinking about Priest!Alec’s faith and as usual, IDEK ANYMORE *laughs*

(If they’re remotely canon-adjacent or divergent, a bunch of these are in here because I need to rewatch the show to get the pacing/timing/tone right and I haven’t, and I don’t know why, because I enjoy the show, but BRAINS! Are Dumb! So I guess that’s it?)

“I do” -I have tried to write this damnable Malec arranged marriage fic like six different times. I have signed up for fic exchanges and bangs with it, I have rewritten massive sections, trying to change tone or structure or POV or whatever, and it basically comes down to they like each other too fast and I keep not gutting it enough to get back to a useful pace, but by the time I realized that I was on take six and kind of sick of it. I may get back to it eventually

“wing!fic” -canon divergent in early s1, trying to deal with the consequences of Simon’s kidnapping as the Truly Serious Event that it should have been. It uh. Got heavier than I expected with those consequences (considering it was originally just supposed to be Alec’s wings flirting with Magnus) and also see above re: rewatching for pacing.

“2x20 aftermath/date night/pandemonium porn“ -yes that is the actual wip title. It used to be “spite fic” because I was originally inspired by fighting against a lot of fic!Alec characterization that was clearly based more on the books and ATG syndrome than the Alec in the show, which is the Alec I know and like and want to read about. BUT, pacing and etc. again, I think. Also I have somehow entirely lost my knack for writing porn, which makes it difficult to finish something originally intended to be smut!fic. Or even teasing almost!smut.

“rubbish heap” -so this is about three different fics that I realized complemented each other really well so they’re now all in the same file as I try to turn them into the sequel of “with an if in its soul”. It includes amnesia, parabatai lore shenanigans, a s3 rewrite, and some truly awful Owl adjustments that make me wince in horrified authorly delight and pain. BUT, as with the other ones in this file, the scope is large and I normally write short-fic and I kind of just threw up my hands in exasperation. I may have to break it back up into the three different fics instead, if I ever actually want to write it. Them? But also I need to take better notes on s3 to make sure I have what I need in here.

SH Pt 2: Started posting or not yet in hiatus because it’s actually almost ready to be a thing in the real world! maybe!?

“kisses (firsts)” -I actually started publishing this one, a “series of firsts” that was supposed to be kind of relationship milestones and kind of an excuse for smut, and then there wasn’t that much smut and I lost momentum and also dear lords & ladies the timeline is stupid, wtf. I may not ever add to this one, tbqh. It doesn’t stop in a terrible place, and they’re all ficlets so they stand alone all right.

“clizzy epilogue” -this is blank atm, it’s more a reminder for me to keep poking away at my “girls who can’t breathe air, only fire” collection BECAUSE I WOULD LIKE TO ACTUALLY GET TO THE CLIZZY AT SOME POINT

"mer!alec" -pts 2-4 of a series, but apparently having an actual plan gets in the way of me *writing* the thing, and I haven't managed to throw the half an outline far enough away from my brain to be able to write again. Or something like that.

"ibhww" -if broken hearts were whole is a soulmate fic I started a million years ago, and purposefully set aside to finish some other WIPs because I thought they'd be quick, and now it's just buried under two and a half years of regret and shame so it's hard to get back to it

"iafy" -i am for you is a delightful & frothy semi-epistolary fluff piece that also just lost momentum because Life & 2020 & etc. It's far and away the most popular thing I've ever posted on AO3, which also makes me feel weird sometimes, and I feel like the fact that there's no grand conclusion planned, just a bit more fluff and settling in, might end up being disappointing? Basically, it's the first time I think I've psyched myself out about reader expectations, and until I get over that I'm going to have trouble finishing the last couple chapters. (There really are probably only two more chapters though. IT’S SO CLOSE, I wish I could just... write it. And yet?)

“fake-hating” -I do not like fake dating as a trope that much, I just do not get it, but I love outside POVs and arranged marriages and there’s this delighful tumblr post about how they wished there was more fic about people who were together but had to pretend they werent’, and uh. This may be that? Eventually? I’m not exhausted by my failure to finish it yet, so it’s still in the regular folder rather than the hiatus folder, even though nothing’s been posted for it.

AND I THINK THAT’S IT?

Not as terrible as it could be, but still. MANY WORDS THAT MAY NEVER SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY. Posting the equivalent of one’s old ratty sketchbook is always a weird feeling. :D

[lenniewip]

Unknown (A Sterek Wrong Number/Celebrity AU)

11.09 PM Unknown Number

>I’m writing songs about you again.

11.20 PM Unknown Number

>its stiles btw.

>in case you deleted my number

>I did.

>I mean I deleted yours.

>but I still remember it apparently

11:41 PM Unknown Number

>I only have 2 lines so far

11:57 PM Unknown Number

>I bleed you from my veins.

>I grieve you like I love you.

>alone.

>its better with the chords.

>u were always better at writing lyrics than me

12:34 AM Unknown Number

>u were better everything than me

2:00 AM Unknown Number

>I hate that I miss you

2:07 AM Unknown Number

>do u want to hook up?

>I promise not to propose again

2:15 AM Unknown Number

>im sorry.

>ignore me.

>im drinking

Derek blinked bleary eyes. His phone screen was the only source of light in his room, as he read through the flurry text messages.

What the hell is a Stiles?

2:17 AM Unknown Number

<I think you have the wrong number

>Lydia?

<no

>oh thank fuck

>I mean

>I’m sorry

>for disturbing ur sleep

>but im just glad I didn’t drunk text my ex all of this

>bullet dodged right?

>is this what near death experiences feel like?

<I wouldn’t know.

>of course

>hey

>seeming as I have you here can I ask you a quick q?

>all my friends are asleep

<probably because its 3am

<everyone’s asleep

>2.39

>and ur not

>asleep that is

>so?

>I’ll take your silence as a go ahead

>what do you think?

>of the lyrics

<im the wrong person to ask

>never experienced heartbreak?

<no

<all song lyrics just look like bad poetry to me

>oh

>yeah I guess it does

>not everyone can be Rupi Kaur tho right?

<do you want to be rupi kaur?

>sure

>not to be dramatic or anything

>but

>I want to be anyone but me

>think id rather be someone like regina spektor tho

<regina spektor?

>singer/song writer

>shes my fucking inspiration

>her lyrics are like poetry to me

>you should listen to her music

<I dont really listen to music

>what the fuck?

>are you an alien?

<no?

>nice fucking try ET

>thats exactly what an alien would say

<…you got me there

>akdjfen

>is this you admitting I was right?

<no

<but this is me going to bed

<because its now 4AM

>already?

>fuck

>ive got an early start tomorrow

>good night random stranger

>and thanks

>for listening

>or reading ig

<good night

//

“You’re late.” Laura frowned, arms crossed.

“Are you going to let me in?” Derek grumbled, still feeling the affects of having stayed up until 4AM the previous night.

Laura didn’t argue she just stepped aside to let him through into her flat. “You’re grumpier than usual.” She noted.

“Didn’t sleep well.”

Derek hated the look she gave him then.

The look that said he was broken. The look that said she wanted to fix him.

“Is…Is it the nightmares again?” Laura’s voice dipped to a whisper, like the question alone would be enough to send him over the edge.

“No.”

An awkward silence defended over the two of them, neither knowing what to say.

Derek clung to the silence like a blanket, wishing things could go back to how they used to be. Back to when they knew how to speak to one another.

But this was enough.

It was enough to know that they were both trying. Failing. But trying.

//

2:40 PM Laura

>I’m here if you need to talk.

//

Derek isn’t good at art, but sometimes it’s the only way he can express himself. Words had never been his forte.

So instead he doodles.

Shitty toddler level doodles that he never shows anyone.

Sometimes he thinks if he could bring himself to show Laura she would like it. Maybe she would even understand it.

But there was a bigger chance that she wouldn’t, and he would feel even more like a stranger to his own sister than he already was.

//

10:18 PM Unknown Number

>I don’t remember it anymore

<You have the wrong number again

>No

>This is ‘not Lydia’ right?

<right

>So here’s the thing.

>I always thought if I needed to text her I could

>And I thought maybe I got her number wrong because I was drunk

>But I can’t remember it anymore

<Oh.

>I have some of her things still

>I don’t think I’ll ever get to return it now

>Unless she messages me first

<When did you two break up?

>Last year

>and I know what you’re thinking

>’it’s October’

>and I should be over her by now

>Trust me I know

>So you don’t need to lecture me

<I wasn’t going to

>Oh

<Stiles?

>That’s weird

<what is?

>I forgot I told you my name

<You should throw away the stuff she left behind.

>you’re right

>I don’t like it.

>but you’re right

>…thanks

<What for?

>for listening

>reading**

>my friends are pretty sick of hearing me complain

>so this is nice

<sure

<anytime

>dope

>no take backsies

<am I going to regret this?

>for definite

>you’re stuck with me now

//

That night Derek saves Stiles’ number as ‘Bad Poet’.

//

Stiles keeps messaging after that.

Stiles messages like they’ve been friends for years, and Derek very determinedly does not analyse why it is he always responds.

Even when there are messages dated from Laura from three days ago that he hasn’t even been able to bring himself to open yet.

He also ignores how when he’s messaging Stiles the gaping pit that had made residence in his chest feels just a little less inescapable.

//

Derek can’t bring himself to tell Stiles his name. He can’t bring himself open up, even though there’s a large part of him that wants to.

He’s not above admitting he’s scared.

//

Derek draws Stiles sometimes.

More accurately he draws a vague pair hands texting on a phone, because he has no idea what Stiles actually looks like.

Derek refuses to let himself dwell on that though, because they are happy drawings.

The pictures of Stiles are pretty much his only happy drawings right now.

//

They don’t always talk about Lydia.

Sometimes Stiles messages Derek song lyrics he’s working on.

Other times it’s memes, or just a bunch of emojis.

Once Stiles had just messaged him what Derek could only assume was a list of everything he had eaten that day.

Sometimes Stiles messages in rambles - and Derek can’t always keep up with the boy’s run away thoughts, but even then he never feels lost the way he does when he’s trying to interact with literally anyone else.

And sometimes it’s 2AM. Those are simultaneously Derek’s favourite and least favourite texts.

//

2:02 AM Bad Poet

>sometimes I feel like too much

>and too little

>at the same time

>u ever feel like that ET?

<not really

>its like I’m infinite, and meaningless

>like a never ending echo

>or a recurring decimal

>I just stretch on and on forever but theres no point to it

>I have no depth

<youre not meaningless

<you’re a rhythm.

<like breathing

>…

>was that a regina spektor reference?

<it might have been

>I thought you didn’t listen to music?

<well someone said her lyrics were like poetry

<so I thought I would check out a few songs

>well fuck

>what did you think?

<she’s good

>you spelt ‘amazing’ wrong

<I still prefer poetry

>of course you do

Derek stared at the texts an ache filling his chest.

Derek was the opposite of infinite. Everything he touched turned to flames.

//

10:30AM Bad Poet

<my sister bought me flower seeds

>I didn’t know you had a sister?

<she’s everything I have

>oh

<and I think she’s trying to trick me into therapy somehow

>…with flower seeds?

<yes

>you sound extremely paranoid

>maybe therapy wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world for you?

<shut up

>noted.

>keep me posted on how your gardening goes

>also

>as a side note

>you know you have me too right?

>if you ever need to talk or anything, I’m right here for you

<thanks

>anytime

//

On Derek’s birthday Laura insists the two of them spend the day together, and Derek knows better than to argue.

She buys him a cake and they spend hours sat next to one another silently. Two strangers desperately trying to keep hold of one another but with an ocean dividing them.

Once their family had been so alive.

And it was all Derek’s fault that was gone.

They both knew it.

Sometimes Derek wondered if Laura hated him as much as he did.

He was too scared to ask.

//

That night Derek chased the ache in his chest away with a drink.

And then several more followed.

//

1:14 AM Bad Poet

<seh haars me

>sorry bud, you’re going to have to try again

>try spell checking before hitting send

<she.hates mee

>who?

<larn

>are you drunk?

<yeh

<tyongs ndrf

*Out Going Call: Bad Poet*

The phone rings twice before being picked up. “Sorry. Stupid keyboard is so small. Impossible to type.” Derek mumbled, his words slightly muffled by his cheek being pressed into the sofa cushion.

“Wow. You’re really sloshed huh?”

“No.” Derek denied. “Just tipsy.”

“Right. So what was it you were trying to tell me? Someone hates you?”

“Laura.”

“Who’s Laura?”

“My sister.”

“Oh.”

“She looks at me like she wishes she could fix me.”

“That doesn’t sound like she hates you, bud.”

“She should. I can’t be fixed.”

“You’re right, because you’re not broken.”

Hearing Stiles say that Derek could almost believe it to be true.

“I mean it. You’re not broken. You’re just a different shape than you used to be. But the shape you are now is beautiful.”

Derek closes his eyes and lets the words wash over him. “Do you sing?” He finds himself asking.

“What?”

“I know you write songs, but do you ever sing?”

“Oh…” Stiles sounds uncomfortable. “I guess… Yeah. I do.”

Derek hummed in the back of his throat. “I bet you have a nice voice.”

“Th-thanks.”

Derek tried to say something else, but all that comes out is a yawn, which makes Stiles let out a jittery laugh.

Derek tries to memorise the sound of It, but it’s so fleeting, it’s already slipping away from him.

“I think you need to go sleep, ET.”

“Yeah.” Derek agrees.

“Goodnight bud.”

“Wait.”

“Yeah?”

“Could you stay on the phone? Just for a bit longer.” Derek clutched on to the phone like if he could grip tightly enough it would make Stiles stay.

I don’t want to be alone. The words die on Derek’s tongue.

“Sure.” Stiles didn’t hesitate. “Of course.”

“Thank you.”

Sleep pulled at Derek’s consciousness, unravelling his grip on reality.

“Stiles?”

Stiles hummed in answer.

“Your shape is beautiful too.”

A small whimper came from the other end of the phone. “Thanks.”

//

7:50 AM Bad Poet

>how are you feeling today?

<better

>good <3

Derek holds his phone tightly and wishes that he had more to say. Just to keep the conversation going.

He also wishes (not for the first time) that Stiles was more than a faceless entity on the other end of the phone.

But it’s the first time he feels the want like a physical ache in his chest.

Derek had never been good with words, but if Stiles was here in front of him Derek would probably give him a hug.

But everything Derek touches eventually dies, and a larger part of him is relieved for the distance.

//

Derek plants the seeds his sister got him that day.

//

9:48 PM Bad Poet

>would it totally weird you out if I wanted to do another phone call?

>don’t feel like you need to say yes

>I just enjoyed talking to you

>and hearing your voice

>ugh.

>why are words so hard?

<I wouldn’t be opposed to a phone call

*Incoming Call: Bad Poet*

“Hey.” Derek feels breathless as he answers the phone, anxious excitement clawing it’s way up his throat.

“Hey.” Stiles sounds equally out of breath, and that helps.

Derek chews on his lip, scrambling for something to say. “What did you want to talk about?”

“I don’t know.” Stiles admitted. “Anything.”

“Helpful.” Derek said sarcastically.

“I mean. There’s one thing. I didn’t want to ask when you were drunk because it felt a little like taking advantage. And I don’t want you to think you have to answer-”

“Stiles.” Derek interrupts before Stiles could break into a full blown ramble.

“Tell me your name.” Stiles breaks. “Please.”

Anxiety grips his heart. But… he couldn’t stay scared forever.

“It’s Derek.”

“Derek.” Stiles repeats his name in a reverent whisper, as if committing it to memory.

And hearing Stiles say his name makes everything worth it.

//

Phone calls become a regular thing between the two of them over the next month. Always between late in the evening and the early hours of the day.

//

The next time Derek spirals he doesn’t drink before he calls Stiles, but he does cry on the phone.

The next morning he wakes up to a text from Stiles.

6:42 AM Bad Poet

>you need to talk to your sister

And Derek knows he’s right.

//

It’s not easy confronting Laura. He has two separate anxiety attacks on the walk to her apartment alone.

But he forces himself to take the dive.

“It’s okay if you hate me.” He tells her, even though it’s not okay. Laura’s hate might be the only thing in the world that could break him beyond repair.

Laura looks horrified as she stares at him. “I don’t- Obviously I don’t hate you Derek.”

“It’s my fault that they’re gone.” Derek addresses the elephant in the room.

If he hadn’t fallen in love with Kate.

If he hadn’t broken up with her, just to try and prove a point when she refused to say ‘I love you’ back…

There never would have been a fire.

Their family would still be here if it wasn’t for him.

“Fuck that!” Laura let out a harsh noise. “Derek, none of this was ever your fault. You were a kid, and even if you weren’t… You never set the fire.”

“I might as well have.”

“No. If anyone… I was your big sister- am your big sister. But I was so fucking wrapped up in myself. I didn’t even know about Kate.”

The last time Derek had seen Laura cry it had been at the funeral, so it took a second to fully sink in what he was seeing.

He found himself crying to.

“I’m so sorry, Der.”

Derek stumbled forwards pulling Laura into a crushing hug. Laura hugs him back just as tight.

They spend hours refusing to let go of one another.

//

He realises he fell asleep on Laura’s sofa when he woke up to the sound of his phone ringing. But he had no idea where it was, and he was too tired to move.

He feels Laura moving and the sound of the phone ringing gets louder before cutting off abruptly.

“Hello?”

“No - Derek’s asleep.”

“Maybe call at a more reasonable time?”

“Who is this?”

“Your voice sounds familiar.”

“Right.”

“Okay. Bye.”

Derek let sleep over take him once more.

//

2:29 AM Bad Poet

>sorry for calling so late

>you’re asleep so I’ll just take to you tomorrow

//

9:07 AM Bad Poet

<sorry, I was really tried

>no worries man

>you’re allowed to have a life outside of me

<was something wrong?

>no I was just bored, and didn’t realise how late it had gotten

>im fine

>how are you?

<im good actually

<I spoke to Laura

>yeah?

>I’m proud of you

>how’d that go?

<we both cried

<a lot

<and I ended up falling asleep on her couch

>look at you, opening up and shit.

>think I might cry now

<shut up

>literally never

>better men have tried and failed to silence me

//

2:40 PM Laura

>Want to see a movie on Friday?

<sure

//

One night Stiles calls Derek just to say his name in stupid ways, and laugh himself stupid after each one.

“Duhreek.”

“Doreck.”

“Fuck. I’m getting a stitch from laughing.”

“You’re so fucking dumb.” Derek is smiling as he said it.

“Deeruk.” Stiles wheezes out.

Derek just closes hie eyes and listens.

“I’m so fucking glad I know you, Stiles.” The words fall out of Derek’s mouth without much thought.

He only realises the weight of his words when Stile’s laughter pulls to a stop.

“I uh-” Stiles stammered. “Me too. Fuck. You’re the best thing to happen to me in…so fucking long. I’m glad I know you too Derek.”

//

Derek finally admits to himself that night that he’d fallen at least a little in love with the stranger from the unknown number.

//

He keeps trying to draw Stiles, but he can’t. Vague shapes just don’t cut it anymore.

He wants to map Stiles out with his eyes and translate it onto the page.

He wants to be able to see the smile behind the laughter.

He wants.

//

1:58 AM Bad Poet

>do you think you day we’ll actually meet?

>maybe not intentionally

>maybe one day we’d pass each other in the streets and not even know

>maybe we already have

Derek couldn’t imagine a scenario where he wouldn’t notice Stiles.

<is there ever a moment when you’re not talking?

<I think id recognise your voice and know it was you

>maybe your face would make me speechless ;)

<I think id still know

<but if you want to be sure… I could send you a picture?

<of me

>dkfajd

>for reals?

>you would do that?

>you?

<well…not for free

>there’s always a catch

>what do you want?

>my soul?

>a blood debt?

>you can have whatever it is

<I meant you’d have to send me a picture too

<geez stiles

The next text takes an unnervingly long time to come through.

>I could do that

>a photo for a photo

>I kind of look like shit rn

>so no judging me

Derek spends the next two minutes fussing and fidgeting to take a good photo. No matter what angle he took it from the bags under his eyes were noticeable, and so was the week’s worth of stubble he had yet to shave off.

And maybe this was a terrible, awful, idea.

But Derek would send one hundred bad pictures if it meant getting to see one of Stiles.

He forced himself to press send on the last picture he took.

As he pressed send another photo came in.

Derek’s fingers shook as he hit the button to download the image.

His heart stopped.

Stiles was beautiful in every sense of the word, and Derek found himself unable to look away. Even when he heard the small dings of incoming messages.

But he couldn’t ignore them for long, because it was Stiles. And when ever Stiles messaged Derek had to answer.

>Fucking hell

>are you for real?

>you gave me a heart attack

>am I being catfished right now?

>when do you think you were going to tell me you’re the most fucking beautiful man to exist ever?

>how the hell to you look like that as 2AM!?

>Derek

>oh my god

>you gotta respond my dude because I’m freaking out a little bit

>still there?

>did my selfie scare you away?

>I would have tried harder for a nice photo if I knew I was talking to an adonis

>Derek?

<still here

>of thank fuck

>so…

<so?

>come on

>your going to give me a complex

>the selfie…was it okay?

>I know it’s not much

>but we can’t all be greek gods

<its beautiful

<you’re beautiful, stiles

>oh

>thanks

//

Derek is so far gone that he makes the picture of Stiles the home screen on his phone.

//

9:49 AM Bad Poet

<Laura wants me to meet her boyfriend

<this is all your fault

>how is this my fault?

<because she never wanted to introduce us before

<and then you got me to talk to my sister

<and now she wants me to meet him

>…and this is a bad thing?

<yes

>because?

<I don’t make good first impressions

<it’s going to be awkward

>yeah probably

<you’re not helpful

>I wasn’t trying to be ;)

>have fun, Derek!

//

Meeting Laura’s boyfriend wasn’t as awkward as Derek thought it was going to be. But it was strange.

Derek hadn’t been expecting to meet someone so soft and kind. He was nothing like any one that Laura had dated before.

But he also wasn’t used to seeing Laura smile as much as she did around him.

Maybe not all change was bad.

//

Derek tells Laura about Stiles by accident. Or more accurately he mentions Stiles once by accident (not even by name) and Laura had badgered him until he admitted that he had made a friend through a wrong number.

“There’s a lot of weirdos out there.”

“I know.”

God did Derek ever know.

But Stiles is different.

“Just…be careful.”

“I am being. I promise.”

Laura reluctantly lets it go after that. “So…what’s he like?”

“He’s…he’s like bad poetry.”

“Oh god. You’re in love with him aren’t you?”

Derek can’t bring himself to deny it, but he does tell Laura to shut up.

//

Derek fully embraces being in love with Stiles on the day he tells Stiles about his drawings. He’d never told anyone about them before - not even Laura. But telling Stiles had been easy.

‘It reminds me of line art’ Stiles had said when Derek had sent him a photo of the doodle he had been working on. “I love it’.

A warmth flutters through Derek’s veins.

//

It all goes sideways on the day Laura goes on Derek’s phone to check the time.

She’d raised one eyebrow at him looking amused.

“I thought you didn’t listen to music?” She said, a teasing note to her voice.

“I don’t.” Derek shrugged.

“A huh. So why do you have a picture of Stiles Stilinski as your wallpaper?” She asks.

It’s so startling to hear Stiles name coming out of Laura’s mouth that Derek’s brain refuses to function properly. “How do you know Stiles?” He asks weakly.

Laura laughs. “He’s not exactly a niche celebrity Der. He was a really famous YouTuber before he started selling albums.”

Derek doesn’t know what to say to that. He blinks as his world slowly unravels before him.

No.

She had to be wrong, because Derek couldn’t be in love with a celebrity. Stiles couldn’t be…

“Hey are you okay? You look really sick?”

“He’s famous?” His throat is dry.

“Yes? Are you okay? What’s wrong? You’ve got to speak to me Der. Use your words.”

Derek just shakes his head because he can’t.

“It’s him.” He manages to get out.

“What are you talking about?”

“Laura. It’s him.”

It takes a moment to click but Derek knows when it does because a look of thunderous wrath takes over Laura’s face.

“I’ll kill him.” She seethes, shaking with anger. “What kind of fucking punk thinks that this is a good prank to play?”

“What?”

“No one is getting away with catfishing you, Der. I’m going to hunt this fucker down, and then I’ll rip him so many new ones that he going to look like SpongeBob when I’m done with him.”

And god, Derek hadn’t even considered the thought that Stiles might not even be Stiles. The thought of Stiles being a liar…

The gape in his heart grows a little bit bigger.

And it all falls apart.

//

It takes hours before Derek can convince himself to confront Stiles.

11:08 PM Bad Poet

<you’re stiles stilinki

>fuck

(And yeah, it was really him).

>how did you find out?

<Laura

>I was going to tell you

<Were you?

>Yes

>I’ve wanted to for ages

>It just never felt like the right time to bring it up

<I wish you had decided on the right time was sooner

>Me too

>I’m sorry

>Please don’t hate me

Derek did not think it was possible for him to hate any part of Stiles.

<I don’t

>Thank fuck

>seriously

>can I call you?

<sure

Derek closed his eyes after sending the text and waited for Stiles to ring. A heartbeat later his ringtone sounded off.

“Hey.”

“You believe me right?” And Stiles sounds more frantic than Derek had ever heard him before.

“I believe you, Stiles.”

“Are you sure, because I can prove it if you want? I can do a video call? Or I can tweet literally anythi-”

“Stiles.”

“Yeah?”

“You don’t have to prove anything to me.”

Stiles lets out a small whine, that reaches through the phone line and yanks at Derek’s already tattered heart, unraveling him just a little more.

“Meet me.” Stiles said, taking Derek by surprise.

“What?”

“Please. I meant to throw a please in there, I’m just really fucking nervous right now. Meet me please. In real life. I uh- I was going to ask when I finally told you about the whole being a celebrity thing. It’s still weird to say that out loud. That’s part of why it was so hard to tell you. But the point was you beat me to the punch with the whole reveal thing, but I still wanted to ask.”

“Stiles…”

“And it’s not that I was trying to use my influence or fame to pressure you into meeting me. I just wanted to be in a space where we were one hundred per cent honest with one another before I asked you. You can still say no. Of course you can, I don’t know why I’m- my point is I hope you don’t say no.”

Derek feels his heart break in two.

“Stiles…I can’t.”

“Oh.”

He hadn’t fully realised just how many worlds apart the two of them were when he had fallen in love with Stiles. It felt even more impossible than it had before.

“I’m sorry.” The words leave him feeling hollow.

“No. Don’t apologise. This is just me getting carried away. It’s okay.”

I love you. The words never leave Derek. They can’t leave him.

There was no way this could work, and he was far too scared of breaking the tentative connection they had with his useless words.

It was better for him to just… fall out of love.

//

6:17AM Laura

<it’s really him

>are you sure

<I’m sure

>what are you going to do?

<nothing

>Derek you’re in love with him

<I’m aware

<it doesn’t matter

<it wouldn’t ever work

>I’m sorry

<don’t be

<I’m going to be fine

>Im coming over with wine

//

That night Derek fills pages and pages of his notebook with drawings of Stiles.

When he gets a message from Stiles at 11PM- for the first time since they started messaging- Derek leaves it unopened.

//

He never ignores a message again after that, and life moves on. Stiles still messages him all the time, but he never asks to call anymore.

Derek misses his voice so much that he goes onto youtube and listens to his music.

He buys all three albums Stiles released and it still doesn’t feel like enough.

//

He fills an entire notebook with doodles of Stiles.

It’s still not enough.

//

1:11 PM Bad Poet

>I wrote you a song

>I know you don’t listen to music

>but it felt weird to not a least send you a link

>bad poetry at 2:00am

The link leads Derek to a youtube video of Stiles holding a ukulele and staring with a soft smile at the camera.

“Hey guys. It’s been a while, huh? But I guess I finally found inspiration. So here we go.”

The song is beautiful, but even more beautiful than that was Stiles.

When the song reached the end Derek doesn’t hesitate to hit replay.

He listens to the song ten times before he realises he’s crying - and he knows that he’s never going to ‘get over’ Stiles because he doesn’t want to.

//

3:00 PM Laura

>have you seen the video?

<he sent me a link

<he wrote a song for me Laura

<I love him so fucking much and he wrote a song for me

>fuck

<what do I do?

>what do you want to do?

<I don’t know

>I think you should look at his twitter

<?

>I wasn’t going to say anything because you said you wanted to get over him

>but I think you need to see it

>@stilesstilinki

//

@stilesstilinski

I want to hug him

@stilesstilinski

Get you a guy that will stay up with you until 4AM talking about literally anything

@stilesstilinski

Why do I alway fall for people so far out of my league? rip me I guess.

@stilesstilinski

He makes me want to write poetry

Derek spends hours scrolling through Stiles’ twitter.

He scrolls far enough back that he gets to the part of his timeline where his twitter is littered with pictures of Lydia, which causes the ache in Derek’s chest to grow. But he can’t stop looking because Stiles looks so happy.

And Derek falls impossibly more in love.

He lets himself acknowledge for the first time that Stiles might love him back.

And everything else?

It’s worth it.

Because Stiles is worth everything to Derek.

//

2:00 AM Bad Poet

<so I looked at your twitter

>fuck.

>how much did you see?

<all of it

>tight

>please excuse me while I go die now

>bye

<don’t leave yet

<I had something I wanted to ask you

>did you want me to delete the tweets?

>I can do that

>I’ll just delete the whole account

>I am my own worst enemy so this won’t be a problem

>actually Jackson Whittemore is my worst enemy

>but I’m a close second

<stiles?

>yup?

<Will you go on a date with me?

>alkdjf

>yes?

>Ofc yes?

>are you being serious?

>because this would be a cruel prank if you’re not serious

<I’m serious

>yes.

>yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes.

>holy shit

>theres no fucking universe where I say ‘no’ to that question from you

>im so fucking in love with you

>is it too soon to say that?

>I don’t even care

>I’m speaking my truth

>you obviously don’t have to say it back

>im going to woo you so hard Derek

>you’ll have to love me back eventually

>I’m going to write you poetry

>hell I’ll even read poetry for you

>ill give the whole fucking moon to you

<why would I want the moon?

<im not gru?

>despicable me

>that was a despicable me reference.

>you don’t listen to music, but you watch despicable me?

>you’re such an enigma to me Derek

>god I love you so much

<stiles?

>too much?

<no

<I don’t think I could ever have too much of you

<I love you too stiles

<so much

<I just don’t want you to get your hopes up

<I might not be able to live up to it in real life

>impossible

<seriously stiles

>I am being serious

>I’m already in love with you Der

>you don’t have to do anything more than you’ve already done

>you could wear a potato sack, and spend the whole night not saying anything at all

>and I would still be in love with you

>all you have to do now is show up

<…I can do that

>perfect

//

TWO YEARS LATER

@stilesstilinski

Hey @JacksonWhittemore, remember when you told me I would die alone? Well I just got engaged to the love of my life. So checkmate fucker.

[thatrudeengineer]

1/4/8/9/13/14/19! Split them up if it gets too long i just like bullying you

Munday stuff! | Always accepting

XDD It’s okayyyy I like your bullying! But obviously u dun know me yet x3 I don’t run at the sight of long posts. Buckle up everyone! We’re going for a ride!

1. What little things do you do special when writing your muse(s) that you wonder if anyone has noticed?

I really like this question, and yet it makes me genuinely wonder... One thing I do but which might not be apparent for people who only know me from one blog, is that I try (try being the keyword here) to change the tone of the writing to match the character. I can’t do much about my general style when it comes to descriptions, it just always comes back, but even then, I use different words depending on the muse even when outside of speech. I’d say that’s pretty subtle though, and maybe I’m the only one who can even notice that but that’s something I pay attention to haha!

Another small thing I like to do, despite writing in a mostly omniscient way, is keep strictly to the character’s pov, even if it means delivering skewed information sometimes. Again I don’t always do that, but sometimes it’s especially relevant and it makes me smile to myself.

I also like separating clearly the speech’s style from the description style, even if I like modifying descriptions a bit to fit the character, I avoid using accents of the specific way the character might be talking. That’s something you’ve maybe noticed in how I write Serik, he’s got specific turns of phrase that I pay special attention to.

One last thing is dropping hints to my character’s past or backstory that explain a current action. Just one line or two. Taken on its own it doesn’t seem much. It might even seem like it’s just a passing thought from the muse, or a reflection of the ‘narrator’ but then hopefully the full info comes out later in RP, or it’s explained OOCly and suddenly the scene can be read on a different level, however small. I like that, even if it’s not all that much, but at the very least I find it satisfying.

4. Has your muse ever gotten very emotional and ‘taken over’ for a reply in a way you didn’t expect?

Always. All the f-ing time! And honestly? That’s how I like my RP the best. Even when the muse isn’t emotional, I try to act as a channel for the character and to avoid guiding things as much as I can. Some muses are easier and louder than others (Serik is one such muse), but that’s what I try to tend towards, even if the action I’m getting from the muse might not seem IC or like it comes from nowhere. In my experience, there’s usually an explanation to that kind of intuition, even if we don’t see it yet. And stifling this tends to smother the muses for me. I prefer relying on the raw intuitive reactions I can get from the muse.

I know everyone is different but that’s what works for me. For me it’s not like I’m watching the character in the room with me or in a mindscape, but more like they’re behind me and I’m the channel and filter in a way. It’s a matter of getting into the right mindset to more or less disappear from the picture. There’s always a bit of leeway at least for reactions but usually they’re very clear to me when the muse is loud.

So when the muse gets very emotional, you can be sure they steer things their way even more. It’s led to really interesting plot-twists over the years. Some that even completely broke the plotting we’d done with the other mun. And I live for those moments. But it’s also part of why I’m increasingly wary of doing RP out of chronological order. I enjoy it immensely, don’t get me wrong, but I just know the muse will do a bad at some point. Something we didn’t expect and derail the RPs set later in time.

Okay... Okay I give XD The rest under the readmore because it’s long!

8. What are other formats you’ve written creatively in (poetry, prose, script, etc)?

I feel a bit bad but... None, really. I’ve done some poetry for school but that hardly counts. And some dabbling in “““““Fanfics”““““ with massive quotation marks because I was so young and I didn’t even have an outline of anything beyond what I was writing in the moment XD Nor did I really publish anything (and what little I might have is now lost somewhere in the depths of the internet, tho for the better really).

I don’t know if it can be called creative writing because it’s mostly drawing but... One thing I did a lot before diving properly into the RP scene on tumblr (my RP was purely in private with my best friend using pictochat before that), was make fancomics. That was my main creative outlet before RP took over. I would have full storylines scripts outlined -- I still have a bunch of them -- even if I never finished drawing a single of those comics. One of them (one of my biggest endeavours, really) is on my personal blog. It didn’t go too far but sometimes I miss doing those.

9. Do you like writing and building up background or NPC characters to your muse?

Answered [here]! :D

Short answer is yesssss, but only really when it’s for OCs and not as much for canon characters.

13. Do you like making promos?

I like the idea of making promos, but it’s a bit the same for me as graphic design. I like the idea of it, but I don’t think I’m good at that at all. I enjoy drawing art for fellow muns that I appreciate, sometimes even art that kind of dual-promotes both blogs, but actual promos? Nah. I really admire people who can, but I’m not cut out for making them.

14. Are you a big fan of AUs?

-Eyes Serik’s verses (still under-construction) page-

...

-Eyes other muses’ Verses pages-

>___>

-Sweats profusely-

Yes. The answer is yes.

19. Explain something on your blog that has a metaphorical/symbolical meaning or is a reference to something else (URL, a tag, blog title, etc)

Hmmm. I’m going to go with something extremely obscure. This blog’s URL used to be “ThatRunawayGuy” simply because that was a big part of then-Sail’s backstory before I reworked this character from the ground up. When I did though, it didn’t really fit as much at all anymore, so I had to find something else. But the ‘that’ in ThatRudeEngineer is a direct reference to the original URL.

Another very trivial thing I can explain that doesn’t even show is the tag I use for memes. “Dash Games”. It’s a common tag, nothing original. But I have a sort of inside joke with myself every time I write it down. Each time, I want to complete it as “Dash games will make you crash” but it’s too long and I didn’t want the possible confusion with a computer crash so I never used that. But just the idea of Serik playing games on his plane’s dashboard and nearly crashing because of that makes me smile every time.

[millennialzadr]

WHY I LOVE ZADR!!!

HEY GUYS WHASSUP? LMAO

So this is a whole ass giant long post of me absolutely spewing my feelings of love for ZADR, it was the very first thing I wrote when I made this blog and I think it’s a nice, positive thing for my fellow shippers to inhale and enjoy 👌👌

it was originally a reply to mitarashiart’s post about why HE loves ZADR (link in replies) but I decided to delete that and make my own post since MY WHOLE ENTIRE TEXT WALL WAS SHOWN IN THE REPLIES and drowned out anyone else who was trying to talk (thanks tumblr mobile u fuckin idiot)

I had also posted a summary of an AU that I’m working on in the original post, but decided to remove it since it just about doubled the length (I’m thinking about posting it separately along with the wips I’ve been putting together, we’ll see 👀)

But ANYWAY, here is about a million reasons why I think ZADR is the fucking best, so if you like reading gushy gay ship feelings, please enjoy ❤️❤️❤️

[Posted June 2019][WARNING, LONG ASS THOUGHT BARF]

SOOO, holy hell y’all my journey back into this fandom has been a wild and unique experience for me, i went from adding invader zim to my bookmarks on kisscartoon, rewatching the series, finding out theres a movie coming out, finding out there was a shitload of content i’d never seen before (commentaries, lost episode scripts and audios, panels, the COMIC, episodes i’d never seen because the dvd i used to watch was scratched!! and a FUCKLOAD of quality modern fan art like oh my GOD) and finally curiously googling ‘zadr’ (which i was way into when i was maybeee 13/14) to see if there was any interesting new art, and holy hell, mita (the artist above) singlehandedly THREW me down the hole into modern zadr hell, first with his absolutely stunning IZ art (all his art is dope tho check him out yo), then reading the above explanation put the final nail in the coffin like, 100%

so i wanted to add onto his post here on why this ship got me so fucked up, both for anyone who might be wondering why on earth i’m shipping two characters from a kid’s show (i’m very aware how weird that is at first glance trust me) and also so i can get some ideas down for possible future reference (will i ever draw them? maybe)

(first of all, a disclaimer, and this is not pleasant to write but it’s important to address for clarity’s sake: I have no interest in romantic or sexual relationships between minors, and do not ship zim and dib as they are presented canonically in the show (as children). what i’m interested in is the conceptualized relationship they may have as modern adults, and i view zadr more as taking the concepts of existing characters and experimenting with them with different interpretations, which i personally think is a constructive and fun creative outlet, especially if these characters hold personal significance for you (childhood faves of course). growing up together is an important facet of their relationship, and certainly they were important to each other even as children (see: mopiness of doom) but as an adult i’m personally curious about what kind of adults they might’ve become, and that’s the focus of my interest. i’ll still be reblogging regular IZ art because it’s dope but if you see shippy looking art of them as tiny lil beans its either friendship or chibis (and i personally headcanon zim as getting taller with dib but some people stick with his canonical height when drawing them as adults, which is super short. it still doesn’t mean he’s a kid). aaand i wish i didnt have to write this and it would just be obvious but we live in a sick sad world and it is sourced from a children’s cartoon so i feel its necessary. end of disclaimer)

NOW THAT THAT’S OUT OF THE WAY

- ok, first reason’s a bit obvious - the nostalgia. holy hell, the feeling of rediscovering a ship that was popular when i was a preteen during the mid 2000s and discovering a totally new perspective on it as an adult comes with an almost totally overwhelming sense of nostalgia and comfort, as well as inspiration!! the kind of art that seems so common for zadr, these sketch pages of scenes and expressions and visual gags where artists would just scribble every idea they had and LOVE doing it, this was exactly the kind of art that made me so passionate about drawing as a kid, and it still sparks such a powerful feeling of love and admiration for me to this day. fan content of iz and zadr is simultaneously achingly familiar and totally new and fascinating, and it just makes me SO damn happy to consume, it is most definitely my new comfort content. and just, GOD. THE ART!! SO GOOD. FUCK

- now for the characters themselves: for some reason i just really love the thought of a mid twenties, modern Dib?? lanky goth dork, disaster bi, depressed as shit, uses bad sweaters and memes to cope?? when i was a kid i didn’t even LIKE Dib, but now i totally sympathize with him! he’s just a hyper obsessive nerd wishing there was more to life than the situation he got stuck with, how wildly relatable. he was a pretty big asshole as a kid (even to people besides zim) but he was also totally isolated and constantly bullied, so there’s a lot of room for growth. i feel there’s a lot of juicy character development potential for that boy, and there’s always been a special place in my heart for characters who are totally sad and screwed and hopeless, but there’s one thing, or person, that means the world to them and could possibly save them…

- aliens. Zim. i love nonhuman characters, i love monsters, i love aliens, i love characters that don’t understand human shit (and thus have much less room for shame or fear bc theyre just totally oblivious the negatives of modern society) and need guidance (bonding!!) from their human. i also love morally grey characters and characters with skewed logic, they’re always really interesting, and Zim himself just has such a unique personality and set of mannerisms, he contradicts himself a lot and you can never quite expect how he’ll behave, and i love that in a character, it makes them super versatile and fun, especially since there’s so many different possibilities for their development. Also, Zim is a gremlin, a little shit, and a disaster. I also love those traits in a character. And don’t even get me started on his character design?? big sparkly eyes? expressive antennae? monster teeth? complimenting colors? he’s adorable.

- mutual obsession. for someone like Dib, who seems almost repulsed by how boring and slow the people around him are, Zim quite literally personifies Dib’s  escapist fantasies, both as an inhuman entity from beyond the stars, and as a person who’s knowledge, charisma and mystery far exceeds that of anyone Dib has met in his entire life. (so basically what i’m saying is that for a shunned, jaded misanthropist, an actual alien is terribly alluring, even if said alien is dangerous, stupid, and possibly insane). not to mention Zim vindicates Dib’s entire life passion, the supernatural! Even when their relationship is totally negative, there is not a single inch of room for Dib to get tired of Zim. as mita explained, they validate each other. for Zim, WHO AGAIN, IS TOTALLY SHUNNED, ISOLATED, AND HATED BY EVERYONE HE KNOWS, Dib is the only person in the universe who gives a single shit about him!! he gives Zim credit as a threat, a capable invader, which if you ask me is the sole thing Zim is after (he’s hellbent on his mission because it would win him the approval of the tallest, all he’s ever wanted is recognition from the people he thinks so highly of). He literally gets depressed when Dib isn’t around to pay attention to him, not even the tallest were enough to motivate him before Dib came back. these two have no one and nothing without each other, and while lifelong nemeses is fine and dandy, i personally prefer friendship, affection and love, cause i’m a softie like that. how could they possibly get there after years of actively trying to kill each other?? well, i think under just the right circumstances it could become a possibility after a long, long time.

- growth. i. love. me. some. good. character growth. especially for characters with trauma/mental illness, bc again, relatable. these boys have issues, and as mita mentioned, their canon stories are actually INCREDIBLY sad! but the happy thought is, they could recover! they could help each other recover, for little reason other than the two are the only source of happiness for each other. now of course this also opens the gate for angst lovers, but at the same time offers potential for comforting, uplifting content of the boys supporting and inspiring each other, maybe even to the point of becoming happy and healthy enough to create the lives they want for themselves (as in appreciating life and doing things that make them actually happy instead of the delusions of grandeur they both sought when they were younger). gimme that positive shit and let the poor beans be happy  щ(ಠ益ಠщ)

- LITTLE THINGS. LITTLE THINGS THAT ONLY COME WITH CHILDHOOD FRIENDS. WITH HUMAN/NONHUMAN. WITH THE SHOW’S WEIRD LOGIC. Zim being the person Dib knows best and vice versa. Zim having an involuntary respect/admiration for Dib because he’s tall. Learning each other’s needs, limits, and communication methods, both emotionally and biologically. Sensitive antennae. Affectionate bickering. Being less insecure bc your partner literally has no idea why you see your flaws as flaws. Laughing at the flaws they do notice because they make no sense. Zim only wanting to eat waffles and chow mein. Dib being forced to overcome his depression lethargy and stay hygienic/keep the apartment clean because Zim has a sharper sense of smell and is afraid of germs. Endless conversation about anything and everything because they’re from literally different worlds, and endless intrigue. TOUCHING. TALKING. DOING EVERYTHING LIKE ITS THE VERY FIRST TIME AND ALWAYS NEEDING THE OTHER TO GUIDE THEM. HOLY HELL THERE IS SO MUCH POSSIBILITY FOR TINY LITTLE MOMENTS THAT MEAN THE WORLD. FUCK. GOT ME FUCKED UP.

so that wraps up the why. fuck man. its just such a good ship. if you read this big ass text post, thank you for indulging me, i hope you enjoyed it! because i enjoy it very much 👀 so stick around if you’d like to for a shit load of IZ and zadr content on this blog, possibly (MAYBE) even from me!! come roll around in alien hell with me why dontcha ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ its a fun time! thanks for reading!!!

-

SO THAT’S MY MANIFESTO Y’ALL, FEEL FREE TO REPLY WITH YOUR OWN REASONS!! I WOULD LOVE FOR THIS POST TO JUST BECOME A BIG GIANT PILE OF LOVE AND YELLING!! GO NUTS! SCREAM ABOUT IT! INFODUMP! DO WHATEVER YOU WANT! I’LL READ EVERY LAST REPLY! Y’ALL DESERVE TO ENJOY YOUR SHIP BC IT’S LITERALLY THE FUCKING BEST!!! LOVE Y’ALL!!!!!!

[starryseo]

phone number. | yang jeongin

pairing ↠ jeongin x gender neutral!reader

genre ↠ just a fluffy barista au!!

wc ↠ 3229

summary ↠ jeongin likes you a latte.

warnings ↠ just jeongin being cute and in loooove. its cringey.

a/n ↠ barista!jeongin bc who doesn’t love cafe aus?

cafe glow is well-known around these parts of town bc it has such!! great!! food and drinks!

it has a real homely feel so a lot of student from the nearby schools/ unis come here

and it’s a pretty big cafe so there’s a lot of space for ppl to come in and chill, whether that be large study groups or just individuals trying to cram for upcoming tests

that homely feel?? it’s bc of all the youngsters that basically run the cafe

it’s officially owned by mr and mrs bang, but their son, chan, manages this cafe a lot since they’ve got a few other places in town to run

chan loves recruiting teens to work bc, despite their hyperactivity (esp the lot that are currently there), they’re a lot less work to deal with than grumpy adults complaining abt wages

so!!

just a few months ago, jeongin started looking around for places to work at

let’s get that bread bro

he spoke to a lot of the nearby businesses like the florist, library and pizzeria but as soon as he entered glow and saw a blond guy downing shots of black coffee as he made different drinks, he Knew he wanted to work here

he headed straight to the counter (ok ofc he waited in line first but who cares abt that)

“welcome to glow, what can i get ya?”

“hi, i was wondering if you were hiring?”

“so,” the guy - nametag reading Felix - began, leaning forwards on the counter, “you wanna join the glow gang, huh? have you got what it takes??”

maybe he should’ve thought more clearly abt this-

“felix are u creeping out kids again?? i swear this is the last time i leave you on counter duty” the black-coffee-drinking blond huffed, wiping his hands on his apron as he left the coffee machines. he nudged felix out of the way, pushing him to the machines before he turned to jeongin. “i’m sorry abt him, i don’t know why i still keep him around”

“i heard that!”

 “anyway,” the blond - nametag with Chan printed on it - grinned, “what can i get for you?”

“a job here would be great”

“you really wanna work here,,,, with that?” he pointed over to felix who looked back with a frown

“yeah, it seems pretty fun!”

“you got a cv on you?”

jeongin is a Prepared Boi. before his job hunting run he printed off multiple copies of his cv so he handed it over to chan who briefly looked over it

“when can you start working?”

“when do you need me to?”

chan let out a chuckle at that, pocketing jeongin’s cv, “swing by tomorrow at 4 and we’ll work that out, yeah?”

jeongin went home a Happy Boy and the next day at exactly 4:37 he had landed himself a sweet job at cafe glow

ever since that day a few months ago, jeongin had been learning the ins and outs of the cafe

he’s learnt all about where felix hides his ‘secret’ stash of sweets, where to kick if the machines ever go down and jisung’s ability to not stop talking

jisung’s the guy in charge of training jeongin bc chan doesn’t trust felix with another human’s life and minho, an older uni student that works here part time, is way too busy flirting with customers to get more tips those uni fees won’t pay themselves u go bby

and chan himself already has a lot to deal with since he mainly works in the kitchens

so jisung has taken jeongin under his wing and taught him how to make all drinks (despite there being a manual for this) and how to deal with the customers

and even tho jisung is only 5 months older than jeongin, he n e v e r misses an opportunity to baby the hecc out of him

“what are the different cup sizes we have?”

“uh,, small,, medium and large??”

“goSH jeonGIN you’re so smART!!!! ily!!! what cAN’T you do???”

jisung’s overdramatic as hell but he means well

and it’s always funny when jeongin teams up with felix (still a pretty rare occassion) to prank jisung

one day jeongin had a test after school so he couldn’t come by

and ofc he let chan know this in advance but he and felix decided not to tell jisung

jisung was waiting around for jeongin to come and he literally almost started crying when felix told him an hour later that jeongin wasn’t gonna come

“,,m,y bab y ? jeonginnie??? wh at do u me an,, he won’t com,e??? felix you a s s don’t l i e to m,e,, :((((”

they even got minho to record the whole thing not for free ofc, and minho’s services are n o t cheap, but it was totally worth it

felix screenshot jisung’s crying face and it’s now the display picture of their glow gang group chat

which btw never shuts up bc: during the day (and work hours) felix, jisung and jeongin will be spamming it, during the evening minho will complain abt all the uni work he’s got to do, after dinner time the youngsters are back on it sending memes until like 2am, and then by 4am chan finally gets on and complains abt the boys killing his storage with their dumb memes & he gives any updates abt the next day’s schedule if need be

it’s a great system, hella wild and random, but jeongin loves it nonetheless

now for the part where u, dear reader, come in!!

it’s just an ordinary day, a bit quieter than usual but jeongin’s not complaining bc it gives him time to finish off some of his hw while he’s at the till

he looks up when the door chime rings and

(°ロ°) ! 

he’s vvv obviously staring at u as u walk in, his pen drops on the counter and his mouth is :0

damn yn you’ve broken jeongin

but does he care???

yes

is he stopping?????

also yes but you’ve already seen his dumbstruck face and he realises he was caught just staring at u when u walk up to him with a shy smile on your face

he doesn’t know what’s come over him

and he doesn’t mean to be some typical teenage boi straight out of a high school drama

but u just look so pretty he couldn’t help but?? go heart eyes??

he’s trying not to lose his cool when u finally reach the counter

“hi!” he grins, “welcome to cafe glow, what can i get for you?”

you order your drink and watch as jeongin types away at the computer

he’s rlly hoping the screen blocks his blush bc he’s still (´♡‿♡`)’ing and he’s pretty sure he can feel his blush at this point

“is there anything else i can get you?”

your number

he finds your thinking face so cute!! the way u bite ur lip a little as your eyes glaze over the sweet treats they have on display

he d i e s when u look back up at him and ask, “anything you’d recommend?”

he keeps his cool as he says some of his fave desserts, and you choose the cheesecake

“alright! will you be eating in or is that to-glow go”

his heart swells when u laugh at his pun but he’s highkey dYinG inside bc he wants u to stay for just a little longer

he almost cries when u say you’re eating in bc !!! yes!!!!!! yay!!!!!!!!!! maybe he could try talking to you!!!!!

“sweet! take a seat anywhere, your food will be made shortly!”

when u go to pay for ur food he’s internally hating felix bc he swears all these mushy feelings he’s experiencing are bc felix made him watch back-to-back romance films

he’s taken money from a lot of customers but he’s never, n e v e r, wanted to just hold their hand and he’s honestly so close to just never letting go of yours rn but he mentally slaps himself

pull it together jeongin u dumbass

when u tell him to keep the change he’s just

s i g h can u get any more perfect

he yeets felix out of the way from the coffee machines and towards the till

“role change, i’m bored!”

“but chan banned me from the tills, he’s gonna kill me!”

“i’ll get jisung on you”

“uGHhgHGHghhhhh”

he’s halfway thru making ur drink when minho sliiiides next to him and slings an arm around his shoulders

“so, innie, who’s the cutie you’re serving?” ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

from his short time working here he knows that minho is in love with any kind of gossip and there’s no point in lying to him

esp not with this massive blush on jeongin’s face that’S STILL thERe bc jeongin peeked over and saw you taking out textbooks which means you’re gonna stay here for lo n g er than he thought

and he’s got this huge grin on his face :D

and no one’s ever that happy making coffee

esp not when felix is right next to them singing along to the twice song playing in the cafe

god knows who put felix in charge of the cafe playlist

an y w ay

“does our baby innie have a,,, crushhh on a certain someone???”

“noooooookay maybe? idk i just met them!!”

“:0!!!! our baby’s iN LOVE!!!”

minho said that so loudly!!! jeongin peered over minho’s shoulder and saw that y o u had looked up at the exclamation and he let out a sheepish laugh to try and make the scene look normal

u just grinned at him and he almost swooned

minho’s shouting alerted jisung who deadass ran from the other side of the cafe

jisung, out of breath: wh-what do u mean,, in love,,,??? you’re too young for that ://

even chan popped out from the kitchen. “jeongin loves someone?? how cute, who is it- felix, what the hell are u doing there, didn’t i ban u from the tills??”

“blame loverboy!”

“gUYsss :((( let me wORk!!”

“u do u, innie, go get ‘em tiger!” minho said, smirking as he took a step back

the other boys stayed quiet as well, chan filling up the front display with the baked goods he freshly made

jeongin quietly got to finishing off ur drink and grabbed a cheesecake slice to carry over to you

“h-hey,” he started, placing the plate and drink beside your textbook, “sorry it took so long,,,”

“that’s alright,” you smiled and all his worries literally washed away, “was everything okay back there?”

“yeah,” he rubbed the back of his neck, smiling shyly, “minho’s just easily excited and nosy, a terrible combination really”

u laughed at that and he grinned, his nerves easing away

“u guys seem really close,” when he saw u quickly look over to the counters he turned as well, just in time to see all four of them rush to try and act natural (altho jisung just dropped to the ground so he’s really a lost cause)

“they’re really crazy, but they do mean well,” he grinned, “except felix, avoid him at all costs”

“i’ll keep that in mind,” you chuckled when jeongin pointed out who felix was and felix just glared back at him, as tho he knew jeongin was talking shit abt him

“well,” he started, realising he should go bc a big group of customers had just entered, “i’ll leave u to it, i hope u enjoy ur food. let me know if u need anything else!”

he headed back to the counter, a HUGE grin on his face, he’s so glad his back is to u bc he’d be so embarassed if u saw

it’s bad enough minho saw and is non-stop teasing him abt it now

throughout his shift minho was just taunting him, cooing “innie’s in love~”

as he was dealing with other customers and running around the cafe, he’d make quick eye contact with u and each time he did, u let out the softest smiles, he’s pretty sure he’s never smiled this much

abt an hour later when the rush had died down, jeongin looked over to see that!!! u were still there!!!!!

he fixed up a quick mango smoothie, smth he always found super refreshing, and headed over to your table

“h-hey?” he tapped your shoulder when he noticed u had your headphones in

“oh, hey! i, uh, i didn’t order this?”

“yeah, it’s,, it’s on the house, thought you might need a pick-me-up, you’ve been working rly hard”

“ahh thank you!!!” u grinned at him so cutely, “would u like to sit down?”

he nodded too enthusiastically but he hopes u didn’t pick up on that ((u did)) as he sat down opposite you

for the next 30 mins? hour?? neither of u know

u guys just talked

he’s thanking god that there was no rush in customers bc he enjoyed spending time just talking to u

the conversation seemed to flow so?? naturally???

he found out ur name and that u go to a nearby school sadly not the same one as him

and u were taking the scenic route home instead of ur normal walking path or using the bus which is why he’d never seen u before

he’s so glad that fate brought u here today tho!!!! eternally grateful that u made that wise choice!!!

when ur phone buzzed with a message from ur family he finally realised that it was getting late

he watched almost in tears as u packed ur stuff up, thanking him for the drinks and snacks that he definitely didn’t steal from felix’s hidden stash

he went back to the counter, stars in his eyes as he leaned against the counter, opposite minho who was chilling by the till

“so, how’d it go? did u get their number??”

jeongin: (❤ω❤) 

jeongin, 0.02 secs later: ヽ(°〇°)ﾉ

felix, jumping in: “pls don’t tell me u spent all that time,,,,, and u didn’t get their number-”

minho: “loverboi was too busy making moves, eh?”

jeongin’s mood instantly dropped and he was so close to just headbutting the counter then and there

what if u never come back????

what if u came back when he wasn’t there?????

what if you’re on ur way here but then u see another cafe and u go there instead and fall in love with a barista there???????

jeongin’s 2 seconds away from pouting for all eternity when chan comes over and pats him on the back, “i’m sure they’ll come back!”

jeongin’s praying the old man’s right

and he is!!!!!!! cliche ik

u didn’t come back the next day which broke jeongin’s heart and he was honestly so close to losing all hope bc he’s incredibly dramatic like that

but u come back the day after!!!

jeongin’s wiping down a table when u enter and u spot him instantly and wave

he waves back but the cloth he’s holding slips from his hand onto the ground

and he rushes to pick it up but hits his head on the table when he tries standing up again

and he’s in so much pain but he just nervously laughs it away esp when he sees ur half worried, half trying-not-to-laugh-aloud face

when he sees u walking to him -- not the counter -- he’s counting to 100 in 3 seconds to try and calm himself down to not look like even more of a fool

“is the table okay?”

“yeah, i’m alri- hey, rude!” he pouts, faking a sniffle and rubbing his head

“i’m kidding, jeongin” (he had to bite his lip to not squEAL when u said his name) “are you okay? that looked painful :((”

“i’ll live,” he fake sobbed, rubbing away imaginary tears with the cloth in his hand before he realised what he’d just done and dropped it on the table in disgust (he highkey dieddd when u laughed at him again) “ew, i’m sorry you had to see all this”

“it’s fine,” you grinned, scrunching ur nose when u saw the wet smears on his face, “but u got a lil smth there” u pointed to ur own cheek

jeongin wanted to CRY

he knows he’s a cute boi (he uses this to his advantage whenever he can)

but rn??

he knows he looks like the epitome of a grade A DumbassTM

he just let out the longest s i g h

“i’ll be right back!”

he rushed off to the back and sorted himself out (and quickly iced his head)

he came back out to see u sitting down at the same table as last time

as soon as he came thru the doors u looked up and held out thumb, an eyebrow raised

and he reciprocated the gesture, telling u he’s all okay now!

he found it so cute that u cared!!! his heart: on fire!!

felix walked right to him, pulling him along to the coffee machines as he told him ur order

“u owe me one now loverboi!”

jeongin prepped ur food and took it to u like last time

but this time u initiated the conversation

“felix isn’t all that bad, y’know?” you said, holding onto your hot drink as it warmed ur hands up

“for now,” jeongin started, “trust me, if u ever have the misfortune of seeing him act cute, you’ll regret ever saying that.”

your nose scrunched as you imagined that -- jeongin gasped when he saw and then prayed you didn’t see that -- before you let out the cutest laugh he’s ever heard, “yeah, i can’t imagine that looking nice”

you two talked for a bit more until jeongin had to get back to the counter and take orders

he popped up at your table when he could, offering felix’s sweets and a refill

“do you treat all your customers like this? free drinks isn’t good for business, y’know?”

he went bright red at your teasing bc “nope, you’re special!” -- his eyes went w i d e when he said that and, if it was possible, his cheeks went redder -- but god, was it worth it bc your eyes sparkled and your blooming blush was so pretty he was starstruck

he cleared his throat, let out the most nervous chuckle ever, put the lemonade on your table before diving behind the counter

he could practically hear minho’s smirk from all the way over here

great.

it took a little while longer for him to psych himself up to go over to you again after that disaster

but seeing you pack up your bag made him forget everything and run up to you

“hey, you’re done already?” he asked, pouting as you put your last book away

“yeah, i’ve gotta help make dinner soon,” you replied, fixing your bag over your shoulder, “thanks for the drink, it was great!”

“y-yeah, no problem!” you loved his drink!! score!!!! “come again soon, yeah?”

“definitely,” you winked -- you winked, god his heart was weak -- before waving and taking your leave

felix slid up next to him, throwing his arm around jeongin’s shoulders

“pls tell me you got their number this time”

shit.

the top gif is jeongin’s face right now

[szopenhauer]

Walking into a party, what’s the first thing you look for? someone I know lmfao also a toilet Who was the last person you ate with? my mom, sister and niece

What do you do when you’ve had a bad day? depends Kiss on the first date? maybe Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex? yes Are you too shy to tell people when you’re developing feelings for them? wouldn’t say so If you could pack up and leave to move away, would you? yeah Do you wish you were with someone right now? I wish my dad was already home and everybody else OUT or just leave me alone, I wouldn’t mind my gf’s company much either How many more people do you think you’ll kiss before you die? nobody else unless CPR will count if I will ever need it Do you like messing with people when they’re drunk? nothing rude/dangerous  Whats a song you absolutely hate? Gangnam style for example Your opinions on bi people? most of them end up in heterosexual relationships anyway because it’s easier  Song playing right now? Melanie Martinez songs Has anyone ever mistaken you for someone else? my mom and sister

What color dominates your wardrobe? dunno

Do you prefer color photos or black-and white? color, black and white or sepia only if they’re really old - elseway they usually remind me of death What color is your house? What about car? white What color “emotion” are you feeling right now? I’m feeling blue? Have you ever seen a double rainbow before? yep, even this year Do you own anything that is rainbow-colored? like one item that I don’t even use anymore Do you enjoy coloring? not really

If you had the chance to get the cast of any canceled tv show back together to make one “reunion” season, would you? Or do you think it’s better remembering it the way it was? If so, what show would you choose? BUFFY!

Do you find music helps you sleep? Which type of music do you sleep to? recently it helps me survive until I feel sleepy enough to not overthink/cry/get anxiety attacks

Would you try to hold back your tears if you were attending a funeral? I didn’t cry but I believe it depends on who’s funeral it is

If you could be one age forever, how old would you be? I just want to be a kid

Do you have a particular shoe brand you favor over others? nah

If you had the choice, what would your final words be? telling my loved ones that I love them

What is one thing you always wanted as a child, but never received? big stuffed black panther and a treehouse mostly

What social situations tend to make you most nervous?  all of them?...

What is one medical myth you’re tired of hearing? for an example that severe illnesses are visible all the damn time

Do you like making up nicknames for people? love, they’re catchy and other ppl start to use them to :D

Delete a year of your life, or start over in a new town? deleting one year wouldn’t help unless it was a year I was born like in Shrek movie...

What do you call your grand-parents? babcia 

What’s your favorite song by Taylor Swift? Why is that your favorite? the only one I liked was Bad blood mostly because of the music video

What do you think about your hair right now? ugh...

Do you do your homework at the last minute? oh well...

Would you rather get a new brother or sister? new as in a way of replacement or another?

Have you ever used a Polaroid camera? I wanna buy one someday

What is your favorite thing to do online? lots 

Have you ever gone to see a movie just to make fun of it? that’s stupid

Would you rather watch Family Guy or South Park? Simpsons

Does it bother you when people wear pajamas out? I’d do that myself :3

Have you ever tried online dating? How did it go? I tried and every single “relationship” failed, not that there were many of them, I met plenty of people that I wish I didn’t tho

Who was the last person you took a picture with? my sister and niece but shadows only 

Do your parents allow smoking in your house? nooo

Is your last name shorter than your first name? longer

Last two numbers in your phone number? personal

Who’s in your house? my fam just went to the garden and I have a moment of silence, finally

What magazine(s) do you look at the most? interior design

Are you paranoid? kind of

What item should never be shared? toothbrush, bloody period pad, underwear, towel, used piece of toilet paper, gum that someone already had in their mouth etc.

Do you sleep with a fan on? I don’t even own a fan

How many plants are in your home? too many

Do you ever type “kik” instead of “lol”? it never happened :o

Do you know how to play chess? forgot

Are you picky? about some stuff, sure

How tall is the person you like?  tall, much taller than me

Are you excited for winter? if I was then only for Christmas or New year eventually my birthday but it’s doubtful

If it was free and it would work perfectly, would you get plastic surgery? but it ain’t safe and painless etc.

Have you ever been called prince or princess? I dislike that

Do you like your body? pfft

What do you hear right now? dog barking

Last thing you wrote your name on? documents 

Where did you get the pants you’re wearing right now? I don’t even remember anymore

When is the next time you will see your grandma? ...

What is it tomorrow? Sunday

Have you ever laughed at someone because they had a funny name? not face to face, I heard some funny names during mass or my mom told me about them and I saw some online or in movie credits Speaking of names, why do celebrities always call their kids stupid ones? to be unique If you have a problem with someone, will you confront them? maybe

Are you more likely to be called a hard worker or lazy? lazy What is your sense of humor like? quite dark, sarcastic, dry, witty, puns, daddy jokes, memes Have you ever had a dream in black and white? I don’t recall What about a dream with no sound? it’s possible What types of people do you tend to avoid? ... all of them? What is one personality trait a potential friend must have? understanding and similar sense of humor Have you ever been in a helicopter? no What color car would you like to have? DeLorean is grey but if I had a jeep then yellow, red, gree, black or silver

What is your favorite mode of travelling? on foot or train, definitely not plane Are your favorite characters often what the majority like? I hardly ever like the main character so I doubt it but who knows? Is it dark outside right now? not yet Do you get scared when it’s a full moon? when I’m outside it’s bothering If you travel anywhere, do you always buy souvenirs for people? often Are you waiting on anyone coming home right now? YES Do you like the way your voice sounds? nope Can you see the stars from your house? not currently but at night - if it’s not cloudy - yup How would you react if your favorite band made a song with your first name as its title? awesome! unless it was real bad Are you considered an awkward person? it seems Is there a light on in the room you’re in? too bright for that  What day were you born on? Saturday, my mom said I shouldn’t be lazy then but I responded with - I was half an hour late for Friday Do you like having a favorite everything or do you enjoy keeping open? I often say I have a lot of favorites of things as I have a hard time choosing just one for most of them

How often do you feel pressured to be better than or different than you are? For example, how often do you feel pressured to be skinner, tanner, prettier, etc? Keep in mind that pressure doesn’t always have to come from others; In fact, we can put a lot of pressure on ourselves. ugh...

Would you rather it snow for three days or rain for a week? rain for a week if it didn’t cause the flood 

Have you ever changed the look of a survey because you didn’t like the way it was presented? This can even include adding or deleting numbers to the questions. many times

Does it bother you when surveys ask questions that Google could answer? I agree

When is the last time you had a cell phone that wasn’t a smartphone, if ever? 3 years ago

Do you know anyone who can speak more than 5 languages fluently? noooo

Would you rather write an essay on global warming or UFOs? UFO

Do you like sailing? When was the last time you went, if at all? never been and don’t wanna Favourite Pokemon? Mimikyu and Pikachu Do you or have you done martial arts? Which type? karate, self defence

Favorite animal. raccoon

Any turn ons? personal

3 most important people in your life right now? my dad, my gf and my mom

Do you respond to texts quickly? depends

Who was the last person you called? dad

Winter or summer? summer

What is the secret to a happy life? good health, enough money, peace and quiet, either no people around or only good ones, no worries/problems

What are some phrases/words you say often? MAYBE

What are some of your greatest fears? personal

Spicy food:Like or dislike? my stomach doesn’t like spicy food

Do you like to travel? nope

Do you like rain? yup

Would you rather visit the past or the future? future to see if it’s worth living for - past if not to enjoy once more what I lost

How often do you go to parties?  never?...

Do you think you’re ambitious? I know I’m not

What makes you nervous? what doesn’t?...

First mobile phone? grey Siemens

Do you like sharing? sharing what?

What was the last picture you took with your phone? single tiny cloud

If you had one word to describe yourself, what would it be? ME

Are you more creative or logical? why can’t I be both?

Would you rather lie or hurt someone with the truth? I don’t know anymore

When you imagine yourself as really, really relaxed and happy, what are you doing? sleeping well and having a good dream?

What is the best news you could hear right now? that I have no allergies

[theboardwalkbody]

That’s me (in my nursing cap because it’s my most recent photo and capping ceremony was cancelled so I took pics in my house to send to nursing school buddies instead): Amanda - meme - Manda 28 NJ Tired AF And bored so I am answering this Ask Meme I found by @myautisticjournal​

What music have you discovered or listened to lately?

I’ve been listening to my Recently Added playlist on iTunes. Only “recently added” has been adjusted to include the last 28 months. lol But I did discover Blinding Lights by The Weeknd and that song’s been making me happy. Hurricane (Reimagined) by I Prevail has hit me in the Depress and next week The Used’s new album comes out so I’m waiting for that.

Have you made any new playlists since quarantine times? If they’re on Spotify, maybe drop a link?

I haven’t made any Quarantine Playlists because ALL my music is about being isolated and depressed anyway that like... what’s the difference? 

Make a three-song-minimum playlist of songs that make you happy!

Blinding Lights // The Weeknd (also makes me think of Data because I discovered it around the same time I started watching TNG so now they Go Together) Paradise Lost // The Used Dance Monkey // Tones and I

What’s your go-to show that you like to binge watch? Why do you like that show?

Currently its Star Trek TNG - because Data And One Day at a Time because that shit hits real. 

Are there any shows that you‘ve been planning to start watching? Why do they interest you?

It was just Star Trek and I did start watching. Interested because I wanted originally to watch ST Picard because Harry Treadaway but having never seen any ST before it didnt make sense (obvs) so I went back and started watching TNG. I didn’t want to start with the original series because honestly my attention span is garbage and I just was always curious about Data and so I started with him.

What movie(s) always comforts you?

Twister, Forrest Gump, The Lion King (1994). I’m currently wearing Lion King pjs lol. Pirate Radio is a relaxing feel good movie, too. 

Are you an arts-and-crafts person? If so, what types of art/craft do you enjoy?

I try SO HARD to be lol. So far during quarantine I’ve tried crochet, I’ve tried making string bracelets as if it was 2005 and I was in 8th grade again but I forgot how to make them and my brain refuses to re-learn its too full of music, nursing school, and data now. I tried coloring and lost patience. I have been working on a Quarantine Photo-Journal. Every day I post a tiny update and a few pictures (mostly memes since i cant leave the house and several Data photos lolololol) but my printer isn’t working right all of a sudden so I can’t print out any new pictures which I guess that one project I was really enjoying is out the window.

Do you have any planned projects to work on during self-isolation? If you’ve started any and you’re willing, share a photo of what you’re working on!

Here’s a pic of page like 3 or something lol

If you had to recommend an art or craft for people to get into, what would you recommend and why?

Man. Just do what makes you happy. I saw someone on TikTok making GIANT ass Worms on Strings and honestly. Pure genius. 

What are your favorite YouTube channels? Why do you like them?

Achievement Hunter. Rooster Teeth. Markiplier. They make the funny. Various ASMR channels. They make the sleep.

What is the weirdest YouTube video you’ve ever watched?

Conspiracy Theory videos probably. I don’t really know. 

Recommend a book or book series to read!

Across the Universe trilogy by Beth Revis read it and fangirl with me I am so alone.

Are there any books that you’ve read multiple times? If you could re-read a book that you loved as if it were the very first time, what book would you choose?

The Islander by Cynthia Rylant. I don’t know why but the first time I read it it just transported me into the middle of it and it was amazing (I was like 11) and it was so mysterious and everything. I’d like to read that one like the first time. Also Living Hell by Catherine Jinks did a similar thing 

What’s your favorite book genre? Why do you enjoy it?

Science Fiction. Because I like science. and Fiction and space and robots and things. 

If you were to write a fanfiction about your own life, how would it go?

LOL The tags would be like : #depression #anxiety #ptsd #childhood abuse #adulthood abuse #i miss having sex but at least i dont wanna die #except i still do #twsuicideideation #badluck #dontread lol

What’s the best fanfiction that you’ve ever read (or the top three if you can’t choose just one )? What about it made an impression on you?

My brain hurts too much to pick a top three but I will say I am currently reading May I by @ladyfogg​ and it’s been giving me the squishy feels and I am loving it and ya’ll should read it. Her OC is relatable and also inspiring and I think at this point I don’t need to mention Data anymore. (But I did). 

Do you listen to podcasts? What kind of podcasts do you listen to?

Off Topic podcast and used to listen to RT podcast when Burnie was still on. IDK what kind of podcast that is other than ‘usually wild’ 

If you could make your own podcast, what would it be about and who would you invite to make a guest appearance?

It would be about anything and everything. I’d invite anyone for an appearance lol

Are you addicted to Animal Crossing: New Horizons? If yes, what’s your favorite thing about it so far?

Yes. My favorite thing has to be CUBE. CUBE I LOVE CUBE. I WOULD DIE FOR CUBE.

If you had to recommend ONE video game, what would it be and why?

Cube. I mean, Animal Crossing. 

Have you tried any new recipes lately? If yes (and if they were good), share it with the class! I’m sure everyone is as bored with the same old foods as I am by this point.

I am too lazy to cook even when I want to so I always end up getting take out or delivery. 

What is your favorite website to waste time on? (Is it, perhaps, tumblr?)

Tumbebells. (Tumblr yes)

How are you finding ways to stay connected with your friends and family? From video calling to playing online games, what would you say has worked the best for you?

Nothing. I’m sitting here wallowing in deep loneliness and it’s killing me. It’s just my grandma and my cat and that’s why I can’t go out or work (I am a Patient Care Associate and I know the hospitals could use help but my grandma is 83 years old and it’s too high of a risk for her for me to be working in a hospital and coming home from there). 

If you have pets, first of all share some photos! Second, how have you been spending your time with them?

LOLA. L-O-L-A LOLA. LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LOLA She doesn’t leave me alone. Her new trick has been LAUNCHING her 7lb body on to my back while I’m standing and pretending she’s my goddamn backpack. And earlier today she decided to pull the socks out of my sock drawer. Because she loves me. 

Share your general quarantine experience so far. How are you handling it?

Bad. I often forget to take my meds, we’ve been on “spring break” from nursing school this week so I have 0 sense of time and no routine and I’ve sometimes been going to bed at 4am, sometimes 4pm, sleeping until like 9-11 regardless and I spend 95% of the day in bed. I can’t be bothered to change, sometimes can’t be bothered to really eat, and I care 0% about showering and Doing Anything. lol 

I mean it’s been great guys. Ba-da-ba-ba-ba I’m lovin’ it!

I did somehow loose 2lbs without trying tho. That’s a total of 7.8lbs lost since March. Only 125 more to go BUT THE GYM IS CLOSED AND IT HAS BEEN COLD AND RAINING.

I’ll shut up.

I tag @lyrslair​, @ladyfogg​ @datalaur​ and anyone else who sees this and wants to do it even tho its really long and I fucked up the layout so instead of 25 questions they’re ALL NUMBER 1. lol 

[starryyastraea]

SHIP/OTP Questions for my main ships: Cambeck, Lunarie, and Camarie :) (because I am not sure which ships will end up canon y a y)

1. Who is the early bird/ Who is the night owl?

Valerie is definitely the night owl in every situation. She cannot fall asleep before 11pm, but even then likes to stay up. What do you expect? This girl stays up studying fairy tales and magic and then of course has to do all her school work at 1am. She’s a wreck.

Luna and Camden are early birds, and go to bed early. Do not understand Val’s need to stay up. Luna likes to get up early to work out and get ready for her day. She likes to be productive. Cam likes to watch the sunrise and gets inspiration from the early morning crap idk. He likes to be up and awake and ready. They both like to be awake before everyone else in the house and have alone time before they need to put on their ‘masks’.

Oliver is both? He likes to stay up late but can’t sleep in. So when he can, he naps during the day. Which he can’t. Get this poor boy some sleep, he's a mess. 

2. Who is the big spoon/ Who is the little spoon?

Cam is usually the big spoon and Val is the little spoon. He likes holding her and feeling like he can protect her, and vice versa. But sometimes, when Cam has had a bad day, he needs to be held. Val likes when she’s the big spoon because it’s when Cam is vulnerable idk words lol

Same thing here. Cam is usually the big spoon. Oliver would never initiate himself as the big spoon, but he wouldn’t turn Cam down if he wanted to be held.

LUNA IS A LITTLE SPOON LUNA IS A LITTLE SPOON SHE NEEDS TO BE HELD AND CUDDLED SHE IS A  B A B Y  HAH LITTLE BABY

3. Who hogs the cover/ Who loves to cuddle?

Okay so hear me out. They ALL love to cuddle. The most affectionate are Camden and Luna, then Valerie and then Oliver.

Val is a total cover hog, which is fine because Cam and Luna will just cuddle up to her and boom all is good.

Oliver. Will. Steal the covers. And when he’s sleeping he doesn’t care to cuddle. So Camden is lEFT FREEZING HIS LIL FACE OFF AND OLIVER DOESN’T KNOW NOR CARE BECAUSE HE’S ASLEEP

4. Who wakes the other one up with kisses?

Camden. Little kisses all over the face. With Val she’ll smile and return them, Oli will end up a blushing mess every single time.

If Val happens to somehow be awake before Luna? Like they both had a long night?? OOooffff. Luna is definitely that “Affection? Disgusting… Do it again” type of person so if Valerie ever woke Luna up with little kisses Luna would ACT like she hated them but they both know that's how she wants to be woken up for the rest of her life. Might do that to Valerie a few times and then deNY IT THE BRAT

5. Who usually has nightmares?

Honestly? Probably Luna. Her constant fear of wanting affection and attention keeps her up at night (Except not)

6. Who would have really deep emotional thoughts at the middle of the night/ Who would have them in the middle of the day?

B R U H. Valerie and Oliver would stay up late at night contemplating life and Camden would totally go along with it. 

Luna does her thinking during the day around people. That's how she realized she liked females and maybe being popular wasn’t really everything and woah no one has ever been inside and empty room….

7. Who sweats the small stuff?

Luna and Oliver when it comes to basic everyday things. They are worry warts, no matter how much they hide it. So poor Val and Cam need to tell them they’re doing okay and just. S t o p.

Cam sweats the small stuff when it comes to his partner. He’s a hopeless romantic and just wants his s/o to feel like the most loved and happy person in the world and constantly feels like he isn’t doing enough.

8. Who sleeps in their underwear (or naked)/ Who sleeps in their pajamas?

They all wear pajamas but if Valerie were alone on a hot night she would not pass up just her underwear and a giant t-shirt.

9. Who makes the coffee (or tea)?

Cam and Luna usually do since they wake up early, but Valerie always makes extra because she's a thirsty gal

10. Who likes sweet/ Who likes sour?

Cam and Oli are wholesome sweetie babies who love sweet.

Valerie likes both. She can’t choose just oNE …. :)

Luna likes sour things. Sour. That’s why she herself is so sour. She doesn’t like dessert-type food either. 

11. Who likes horror movies/ Who likes romance movies?

Camden is of course a sucker for romance movies, and so is Valerie. Oliver doesn’t mind them. Luna pretends to hate them and then finds herself up at 1am watching Hallmark movies. whoops

Cam is just a movie junkie and also loves horror. Val will watch them if someone else wants to, but does not go out of her way to choose to watch them. Luna and Oliver hate horror movies. Will not for any reason watch them.

12. Who is smol/ Who is tol?

Based off of energy, Luna and Cam have tol energy and Val and Oli have smol energy. Which works for their actual heights too… 

13. Who is considered the scaredy cat?

Oliver and Luna lMAOOOO poopy heads

14. Who kills the spiders?

Camden would kill it, but Valerie would take it outside while Oli and Luna are crying outside and planning on where to move. 

15. Who is scared of the dark?

Valerie actually is still scared of the dark...

16. Who is scared of thunderstorms?

Valerie and Luna. So they’re a mess together. Its… they need help… 

17. Who works/ Who stays at home?

Val, Cam, and Luna would all go out to work. And Oli is the homebody who just stays home/works from home. 

18. Who is a cat person/ Who is a dog person?

Oliver is a dog person.

Val likes both, leans toward cats.

Cam likes both, leans toward dogs.

Luna is not an animal person. Get them away from her. She won’t touch them. Gross.

19. Who loves to call the other one cute names?

VALERIE AND CAMDEN MOST DEFINITELY USE PET NAMES OMG KEEP THEM AWAY FROM ME EWW

Oliver might if he’s feeling confident. And we all know how Luna feels about affection. Gross 

20. Who is dominant/ Who is submissive?

Luna and Cam are most definitely doms. Cam is more like,,, a soft dom? Luna just. Dominant.

Val is a switch and will most definitely dom both Cam and Luna and even though they’re also doms it’s like,,, you can’t just dom dom Val, y’know? If she wants to dom she’s gonna dom

Oliver is a subby sub we all been known hes b a b y

21. Who has an obsession (over anything)?

VALERIE AND WE BEEN KNEW

Cam has an obsession with memes and his love

Oli obsesses over books

Luna is obsessed with herself whoops

22. Who goes all out for Valentine’s Day?

CAMDEN OMG HE WOULD GO ALL. OUT. FOR HIS LOVE BECAUSE ITS LOVE DAY AND HE LOOOOVES YOOOUUUUu

23. Who asks who out on the first date?

Cam always makes the first move

Luna usually makes the first move, but Valerie had to ask her on the first date because Luna is an idiot.

24. Who is the talker/ Who is the listener?

Cam is the talker and Oli is the listener. Obvi.

Cam and Val? Booooth. They both do both. Mutual loving relationship. They’re idiots. I hate them. 

Val will talk and talk and talk and Luna doesn’t listen unless it’s like a serious heart-to-heart. Luna doesn’t talk about her feelings and Val has to force them out of her.

25. Who wears the other ones clothes?

Ohmygosh Valerie wears everyones clothes regardless of who shes with.

When Luna/Cam see her in one of their shirts? They m e l t

Luna loves to dress Valerie up in her clothes

And Oliver likes to steal Cams clothes sometimes. He wouldn’t go out in public but Cam is just so much bigger than him so the clothes awh baby okay

26. Who likes to eat healthy/ Who loves junk food?

Valerie, Cam, and Oli all love junk food and Luna physically cannot down junk food.

Cam and Oli know how to eat healthy though

Valerie… she lives off of caffeine and potato chips she does not know what a carrot is. Like carrot cake? No? Then idk she dont know

27. Who takes a long shower/ Who sings in the shower?

Valerie does both

Camden and Oli take long showers

Luna is in and out. And somehow was able to effectively wash all her hair, clean and shave her entire body, give herself like a full facial and mani-pedi, buy a house, perform heart surgery, and like brush her teeth in like ten minutes.

28. Who is the book worm?

Oliver and Valerie lol

29. Who is the better cook?

Luna and Valerie cannot cook for crap

And Cam is better at baking...

Has Oliver ever even step foot in a kitchen??

...they’ll all just order takeout. for the benifit of literally everyone.

30. Who likes long walks on the beach?

Camden and Valerie would

Luna prefers to like,,, sunbathe. That’s the only reason to be at the beach lol

Oliver doesn’t do beaches.

31. Who is more affectionate?

Cam and Val and we been knew

32. Who likes to have really long (deep) conversation?

AGAIN. CAM AND VAL. IT’S LIKE THEY WERE MADE FOR EACH OTHER HMM

33. Who would wear “not guilty” t-shirt/ Who would wear “sin” t-shirt?

Luna- Not guilty, Val- Sin

Oli- Not guilty, Cam- Sin

CAM AND VAL ARE JUST SIN AHH

34. Who would wear “if lost return to…” t-shirt/ Who would wear “I am…” t-shirt?

Valerie and Oliver do be gettin lost tho

Need to be returned to Luna and Cam

35. Who goes overboard on the holidays?

omg Camden my boi. He’s just so excited and hyped. Also, his family is no help because they’re always going overboard

Valerie will also go overboard. But nobody beats Camden lol

36. Who is the social media addict?

Luna?? Have you met this chick??

37. Height difference or age difference?

Luna and Val have a three inch height difference (when Luna is wearing flats), and Valerie is older by like... two months

OKAY Valerie and Camdens height difference is 10 inches. awh. I’m a sucker for height differences look at themmmmm. And then Cam is seven months older

Cam is only three inches taller than Oliver :) And Cam claims the title as the oldest, being four months older than Oli

38. Who likes to star gaze?

Omh Camden is such a hopeless romantic and he’ll do this just so he can turn his head and see his love staring up with the stars in their eyes. Also so he can use dumb star related pick up lines on them

Valerie loves this! Look up at the stars! So pretty! She may not know anything about them, but she loves them!

Luna will join Valerie because yeah, they’re pretty :) And so is the cute girl next to her whoop

39. Who buys cereal for the prize inside?

.....Camden

40. Who is the fun parent/ Who is the responsible parent?

When it comes to parenting, Valerie and Cam would be a fun/responsible duo. They are both the good cop and bad cop. They know how to balance it, because they grew up with balanced parents.

Luna would be more responsible. She isn’t exactly a ‘kid’ person, and really didn’t have great parental influences growing up, and doesn’t want to have her child run off and be unsupervised/feel neglected like her

Oliver is in a similar boat. 

SO THANK GOODNESS FOR VAL AND CAM

41. Who cries during sad movies?

Omg I swear Camden and Valerie are like the same person it’s disgusing. Anyways. They.

Oliver may? Depends on how sad it is.

Luna has no emotions. Gross.

42. Who is the neat freak?

V A L E R I E omg she will clean up the smallest mess. Which is funny because you look at her and her bedroom and think she’s a mess herself which she is but she’s an orginzed mess

43. Who wins the stuffed animals at the carnival for the other one?

Valerie and Camden will be competitive and try to win each other prizes, but like, against the other? If that makes sense?

Oliver will gladly accept what Cam wins for him

When Val offers to win one for Luna, she’ll be like ‘ew gross I don’t want one of those’. Valerie gets one anyways, and Luna adores it anyways.

44. Who is active/ Who is lazy?

Honestly none of them are lazy per se, but the most active I think are Luna and Valerie. I mean, Luna is just an active, work-outy person. Valerie just cannot sit still for longer than three minutes. 

Camden and Oli like to relax from time to time. Just. Sit. Alone or with each other. 

45. Who is more likely to get drunk?

Luna and Cam (poor Valerie lol)

46. Who has the longer food order?

Camden!! This boy eats a lot!! And where does it all go?!

47. Who has the more complex coffee order?

Ohmygoodness Valerie. She drinks so much coffee, and her orders are always different and bizarre. 

48. Who loses stuff?

Oliver. Poor boy. Val misplaces things quite often, too.

49. Who is the driver/ Who is the passenger?

Camden is the only good driver here.

Between Luna and Val, Valerie drives but only because Luna refuses to. That does not mean she is good.

50. Who is the hopeless romantic?

The obvious answer here is Camden. He takes the cake for being a hopeless romantic. He loves the idea of love, and being in love. Having someone to love. Love. He goes over the top, stares at them, he’s just in love and isn’t afraid to show it.

HOWEVER

I think all of them, once in their relationship, shows how hopelessly romantic they are for their loves. That’s just what happens when you’re with the one.

lol. I know this isn’t like... how this was supposed to go but I couldn’t choose just one couple :)

[ofphcenixes]

THE PHOENIX || BLUE HAWTHORNE.

ok i won’t lie i stole this intro from veritas 2 kdJKDGF BUT ! if you want to get to know this guy definitely hit the readmore below *shaky eye emoji*. also hi i’m lilac i’m an admin and also a sims enthusiast anyways, back onto what’s important here, this lil bean called red blue !

personality

THANK YOU FOR SUBSCRIBING TO BLUE FACTS. PLEASE TEXT ‘STOPBLUE’ TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION.

but if you have seen blue’s blog sidebar and title, i feel like you will gather a LOT about his personality lmfao

he is playful, jocular, and honestly? immature

always looking for the childhood he never got to have, y’know?

he is secretly very insecure and always has a need to please. if someone doesn’t like him, he’ll tear himself apart to figure out why.

he’s always telling jokes and always laughing. he’s known for his Memes and is always a good time to be around… if you know what i mean ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

but also Anti-( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) because ya boi has commitment issues so high they’re past the inevitable spaghetti monster that’s probably floating out there in space

he can also be very maternal when the need arises. he is not good at talking about emotions but he’ll give you a meme or a plate of cookies to Heal You

honestly? the human embodiment of a puppy. cannot be alone for very long, has a short attention span, and craves validation lmfao. give him a squeaky toy and he will be Contented

as a footballer he can be Tough on field when he needs to be but he’s also v sensitive and talks to birds he passes on his morning runs like he’s a disney princess djkgfdk

he struggles academically as he has a short attention span most of the time and thinks too little of himself. however, he’s a lot brighter than most people give him credit for. he’s incredibly creative and a lateral thinker. maths makes him want to die, tho.

also what’s money? blue does not know

to many, blue’s known as the troubled kid who turned his life around. to others, he’s known as the local Meme Dealer. but to a lucky few, he’s known as a friend who would do anything for you.

most just know him as the moron named after a colour tho.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

history. (trigger warning: illness, death, drugs, depression)

WHO’S READY FOR SOME CHROMATIC CONTENT

blue hawthorne, who never goes by his birthname bc he hates it dfkjgdgdf ( what is his birthname ? he’ll never tell ┌( ಠ‿ಠ)┘ ) was born right here in ashmont.

despite not having a lot - he grew up with just him and his mum ( his father left before he was born, never knew a thing about him ), in a tiny trailer park on the outskirts of town. a far cry from the opulent manors peppered all throughout town, and the very lifestyle blue’s mother was accustomed to as a child. however, the pair were content as long as they were together.

despite not having much, blue loved every second of his childhood. he wore his mischief like a crown, smiling wherever he went. he’d always resonated with a love of music and dance, and like his mother before him, danced. ballet was his passion growing up, and started as young as 5.

as a child blue was often teased for this, and the fact that he was so close with his mother. he was also very outspoken and strong-willed, and never let his peers get the best of him. he danced, he laughed, he bruised his knees at any given opportunity. what he lacked in possessions he gained in the abundance of joy he felt in his heart growing up. his mother and a few of his close friends were his world.

when blue turned ten, everything changed.

the jubilant, mischievous, but altogether kind-hearted boy was given the heart-breaking news that his mother had been diagnosed with cancer. margarette hawthorne, much like her son, was a fighter - and didn’t let such a diagnosis keep her down. despite their dwindling lack of funds now going towards medical bills, and the fact blue began sacrificing his own childhood as he took to the role of a caretaker of sorts for his mother, he never took his time with her for granted.

things were okay for a while. there was a point where the doctors were convinced that she was going to make it. blue was a fool. blue believed them.

at the age of thirteen, blue lost everything. he lost his place to live, he lost his childhood and lust for life, and he lost the person he loved most in the world. he lost his best friend.

it wasn’t long before the overbearing sympathy from those around him soured blue. he was sick of being bullied, people not liking him, and altogether not being in control. so what did this boy do ? he quit ballet (the thing he’d loved since he was able to stand), he started drinking, he got involved in a very bad crowd and became a frequenter of the local ashmont police station. blue became a certified Bad Boy™

blue was sent to live with the grandparents that despised him and never acknowledged his existence before that moment. righteous and conservative in their views, they had cast aside their daughter when she had blue out of wedlock, and only reached out to her in her final months. for this reason, blue despised these people (he refused to call them family). he tried his best to be appreciative of a house and food ( which was much better than anything he had growing up ). but he was cold. always cold.

as a teenager, blue fell into a rapid succession of bad decisions. still small, still frail in stature, he found himself at a dissonance with his image and began growing insecure about his looks, the years of torment weighing on him. he found anesthetic in the party scene outside of school, taking to alcohol and drugs as a sedative from the life he felt forced to lead. his grandparents were pigeon-holing him into a preppy, studious boy who’d go on to be a banker or a lawyer, when all blue had wanted to do was be himself. he couldn’t decide if he hated himself or he hated the world more.

at the age of 16, his rap sheet seemed to grow with each rising of the sun. he’d fallen in with a bad crowd, hardly ever heading ‘home’ and couch surfed. at the age of 16 he’d gotten his own car and lived more out of that than the stuffy house on top of the hill where he was supposed to stay. his grades were sinking towards the bottom of the barrel, he was always looking for validation from the bad kids he hung around with and made some very poor decisions in the hopes he’d be liked. in the hopes he’d find a new family.

the partying, the stream of hook ups, his criminal record (mainly with traffic offences, a few write ups for public intoxication and fighting), sobriety, the instability of his living situation and his future all came to boil just before he turned 17. physically he’d started to fill out, and look more like the man people know today. he was no longer frail and no longer weak, and when asked, he used to his fists to forge that path he thought he wanted.

after a dark night, it became apparent to blue that his path of self destruction was hurting no one but himself. whether by choice or by accident, he knew he wasn’t ready to see his mother again. so… he’d hit rock bottom with a spectacular thud. but blue knew the only way to go from there was up.

through nothing short than a McMiracle (sponsored by Ronald McDonald, bc no one else is rich enough to pull it off lmfao) blue managed to scrape by and complete high school.

blue had no doubt his family name (that of his grandparents) helped him secure an athletic scholarship to st etienne. in his year of transformation from 17 to 18 his grandmother had softened to the boy she’d always hated and was riddled with guilt for the years of mistreatment, and promised to pay for his education (that wasn’t covered by his scholarship) as long as he promised to make something of himself. his first year of college, things really started looking up for blue. he was finally back on track.

then woops, grim came a-knocking again

bidding farewell to the grandmother he was only beginning to know, his grandfather had no reason to extend her kindnesses, and cut blue off. at the age of 18 he was homeless, with nothing but a car and a handful of pokemon cards he’d had as a kid. not worth anything or even particularly sentimental, he just likes pokemond kgfjfd.

living in his car for a while before eventually crashing with a close friend, blue managed to absorb his days in study and in work. he quickly found his passion in helping kids, and giving them the childhoods that he never got. going into teaching seemed like a no-brainer.

although blue’s wild days are behind him, there are some things locked in his past that still haunt him. there are doors he never hopes to open again. but he got his fresh start, and is determined to live the life a young blue would have wanted for him, and one his mother could be proud of.

then the grim reaper came back a third time, his scythe begging for daisey rutherford.

the investigation.

blue’s connection to daisey is that they danced in ballet classes together… as you can imagine, daisey had to put on her Evil Training Wheels somewhere and unfortunately, blue was one of her earliest victims. teased constantly for his appearance, his love of ballet, his lack of wealth, and on awful days, his single parent household.

for the most part blue had grown resilient in ignoring these comments. but he never forgot how daisey mistreated him, and sparked a wave of similar comments from people in their year when they were only children.

hey now im not gonna rEVEAL (bc what if he is ??? :o ) anything relating to the crime if he was the murderer, but know he is Lorge and Strong and could probably push daisey over with his finger lmfao

it’s also worth noting that one of daisey’s parents, a beloved surgeon, treated blue’s mother whilst she was in hospital with cancer. the late detection of its return is what caused her death, and blue has been vocal in his blame in the rutherford family for the loss of the person closest to him ever since.

now i’m not saying blue did anything… but if he did, his ‘eye for an eye’ motive ? maybe not as crazy as you may think. especially when you consider your boi already has a criminal record. ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

plots.

atm i am still working on blue’s blob and getting his stats/connections page up BUT !! here are a few fun lil plots beyond his skeleton connections that i’d absolutely love to explore. also here’s his current connections page for further ideas ! 

CHILDHOOD FRIENDS  - blue grew up in ashmont, and didn’t have a lot of friends kfgjfd. if your muse would have been down for a Young Memey Mess that’s fond of a pirouette, blue is your Man. on the flip side, if your muse is one of the Cool Kids and is looking for potential animosity, i’d love someone who tried to squash blue like a bug in their youth (~:

FLIRTATIONSHIP - blue is currently in a (hidden) relationship, and for the first time in his life, gasp, might have feelings. but he’s a fucking walnut and refuses to admit that, so a plot of someone with an unrequited crush, a fun flirtationship, or even someone that just wants to be his wingman would not only be fun, but also incredibly painful - which is what we deserve. 8) (also note, blue is bisexual so any muse would work. <3)

COWORKERS - blue works as a trainer at the ashmont fitness centre ( …. dont @ maaria for the page not being done fgjdgkdf  WE ARE IN THE PROCESS OF UPDATING THE PAGES NOW KDFJGDKFJ). but i’d always be down for plots in the workplace !!

UBER - sorry for the lame ass name lmao but dkjfgfkd blue is not about the party scene anymore ( lowkey bc he’s afraid to get addicted again and throw away everything he’s worked so hard for). but he does care a lot about people, and a pal of his is v much still hooked to that lifestyle and he very dkfgjdf determinedly drives them home every time to ensure they’re safe. could be former party friends, could be current friends in some capacity. maybe there was an incident in their past that blue feels guilt over ( a fight perhaps, trigger warning - maybe an overdose?) and so now he looks after them. or even just having a sibling-like bond, which (as blue is an only child) i’d also love something like that!

STUDY BUDDY - blue is a moron and needs someone to help him not fail kdfjgdf. he may not be naturally adept at getting good grades, but unlike many, he’s trying his absolute hardest. in return, he’s more than happy to be your Meme Dealer. bonus points if it’s unlikely friends, or if they didn’t exactly get along at first. :D

FELLOW FOOTBALLERS - 2 bros sitting in a hot tub five feet apart bc they’re not gay. dkjgdgdf but for REAL. exploring the team dynamic of the football team would be so fun, especially with blue’s reputation and the fact he only started taking up the sport when he was about 15-16, which may be a lot later than other guys in the team.

RIVALS - god they’re probably rivals about memes and i hate that but that’s just what it is :/

ok i have nothing else to say other than thank you for being a sweetheart and reading through this ??? i know it was a McMess but, if you’d like to plot with said mcmess definitely hit me up - or wait it out a lil bc i plan to do some starter stuff and plotting later today. (~: love you all, and viva la daisey ! 

[jimlingss]

I can't believe you ended chp 16 of Jp like that...i want to fight 😭

if you fight me, i’m guaranteed to be hospitalized ((look at these noodle arms)) and then who will post the next chapter on Monday? uh huuuh, that’s what I thought. Think twice before you wanna square up. (ง •̀_•́)ง

I am now answering spoiler-y messages below, so beware....

[SPOILER ALERT] 

*SPOILER ALERT**SPOILER ALERT**!SPOILER ALERT!*

Massive spoilers to come, please do not read if you have not yet read Jungle Park Chapter 16. Or go ahead and read if you’re chaotic like that.

Anonymous said: ok but what if oc and Hoseok were actually engaged....

I’m an idiot, anon - I accidentally deleted your ask before I copied it correctly lol oops, but ding ding ding! correct! you’re a winner!! i believe you sent me this message like 2 chapters ago and honestly you freaked me out by how accurate you were. dammit, I might’ve been too predictable, but you catch on quick. sorry i couldn’t answer sooner hahaha i couldn’t risk other people jumping on the same theory. you’re a genius tho, i’ll give you props for it.

Anonymous said: DATED!FOR 4 YEARS! ENGAGED! Omg wow shit really hit the fan like there is no coming back omg Wowoowoeoeoeooew I’m SHOOK like I never expected that like NEVER!!!

Anonymous said:I KNEW IT!!! i had a feeling it was either a really long relationship or they were engaged at one point. TURNS OUT IT WAS BOTH omg gahdhsjxbjsjs I'm so excited to see this all just unravel omgomgomgomg

kawaii-ing said: FhbsjshJuxYhUgrnziVJgdjsbdud JUNGLE PARK CHAPTER 16 JUST WRECKED ME YO 😱😱😱😱😱 HE KNOWS AND SHE DOESNT KNOW HE KNOWS IM SO CURIOUS FOR WHATS GONNA HAPPEN NOW Btw lovvvveeee your writing, thanks for all your hard work boo xxx💜💜

ASDFGHJKL I SAID SHIT WOULD HIT THE FAN AND I FOLLOWED THROUGH, RIGHT?? AREN’T YOU PROUD! THERE’S NO CLICKBAIT ON THIS BLOG HAHAHA 

Anonymous said: omgg 4 years? ENGAGED?? I’m ??? jut WHAT happened

:O :O

Anonymous said: BROOOOOOO! THEY WERE ENGAGED :o *insert Pikachu meme*

pikachu meme?? hahaha is that a sarcastic surprise? so you weren’t actually? lolololol :O

Anonymous said: Ahh I loved jungle park 16!! I'm so excited for the angst to come 👀 is hoseok's car accident related to oc at all?

hmm guess you’ll have to wait and see ((but also just putting it out there that if it was related that would be pretty makjang and lol im not about that life with this series))

Anonymous said: (1)oh holy hell Kina,,,my head’s hurting bcs of JP:16. ENGAGED what?? huh. now its one of my fav chapters, like 4-6 (ah those innocent cute baby steps in hoseok’s&oc’s relationship,,,not THIS). but freaking FINALLY someone spilled the beans. i love this kind of scenes, THE truth revelation. chang’s unaware of storm hes causing with his words, hoseok’s world’s simply crushing, oc doesnt know yet whats happening&dae is helplessly watching from sidelines trying to stop the catastrophe&failing

Anonymous said:(2)thats sad. i kinda can imagine what hoseoks feeling now, plagued w question that almost no one’s willing to answer, that drive him crazy.what happened? why did oc hide the truth? what did i do, how bad did we hurt each other? why can’t i remember any of it fuck. its a perfect opportunity for insecurities&ugly thoughts&inner demons to poison his mind. and oc...her house of cards collapsed revealing things she was trying hard to escape. will she feign ignorance again or will she finally face it

Anonymous said:(3)i just hope that in the end after this storm theyll reach their own peace, whatever the outcome will be. past stays in past, but only if every issue is resolved. otherwise it might return later&be worse than before. it was a great chapter. thank you — chem

THE BEANS HAVE BEEN SPILLED!!! honestly the universe is in chaos right now lol Hoseok’s like the fuck....and oc doesn’t even know lol but yeah it’s definitely a sad situation for almost all parties. there’s still more to be revealed tho, like the actual details of what the fuck went on haha anyways, i’m glad you’re enjoying it!

Anonymous said: AAHHHHH ITS FINALLY HERE!! Thank you 💞💞. Wow it was truly a lot and honestly, I feel kinda scared for Hoseok... it’s crazy that he really doesn’t remember anything and learning all this new information is like being in another word. If this story wasn’t one about love and fluff, it could’ve totally turned into a horror story lol. Thank you again and I’m very excited to see where the story goes!!

a horror? can’t say im very good at the genre but that’s definitely an interesting concept....the more i think about it....like for someone to go through something suppper traumatic and not remember at all and someone appears in their life but it turns out that someone was actually the serial killer? dammmmn that would be really interesting. i digress, thank you for enjoying it. definitely Hoseok is lost, scared, confused.

Anonymous said: SHIT’S 🗣 HITTING 🗣 THE 🗣 FAN 🗣 omg *insert “she’s meditating” “she’s dead” meme* and the fact that this is just the beginning??? how?? what?? i’m honestly so skek for the next chapter like i dont think hoseok’s gonna go apeshit on yn but you never know now do you ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ superb chapter for reals!!!! like, all of your writing is great but this chapter?? *chef’s kiss* didnt even know i was an angst fan until this chapter lol sending all my love to you!!! - chanting anon

hahhahahahhahaha there’s a lot more to unravel. now the puzzle has been exposed, we gotta start looking at the details. thank you for the message *throws chef’s kiss back* also welcome to the angst realm lol

Anonymous said: finals starts at the 20th and school ends in the 24th and we're still at chap 1 on our research. Due to stress, i thought, hey, might as well read the latest chapter bUT WHO KNEW IT WOULD BRING ME MORE STRESS. FOUR YEARS?! ENGAGED?! i feel like hoseok right now. You make such awesome stories and worlds. It affects me in so many good ways i cant even. i dont always give you my thoughts per chapter but i want you to know that i scream at every single one of them. have a nice day! - anon h.a.n.d.

oh my goodness!!! good luck on your exams!! hahah im sorry the chapter isn’t very much comfort food and kind of more wild but still happy you enjoyed it! 

Anonymous said: PT. 15 & 16?! WHAT. I COME BACK TO TWO CHAPTERS. HOLY COW. but really, like now that I know what I know, I’m so sad. I wonder what their relationship was like. That’s a lot of time to invest in someone and for it to fall apart like that... I couldn’t imagine what OC had to go through. I’m sad BUT THE DEVELOPMENT IS MAKING ME SO FREAKIN EXCITED. THANK YOU FOR GIVING US SOME ANSWERS ABOUT THE PAST. I CANT WAIT TO SEE HOW MUCH ELSE HE FINDS OUT.

I KNOW RIGHT?? LIKE FOUR YEARS IS A FUCKING LONG TIME. then again that was like 8 years ago. but yeah, it’s sad for both oc and Hoseok, y’know? I’M GLAD YOU’RE EXCITED!!!

Anonymous said: Great Jungle Park chapter! I'm pissed because SOMEONE SPOILED IT and i saw they were engaged before i could even click on the 'read more',,, but great chapter! I wish i could've read it without knowing, it kinda made me sad and it was not as great as it could have been.. @people spoiling, fuck off >:(( @you you're the best writer ily u nice keep going!! Can't wait to have Hoseok's full mind process over how crazy it is he doesn't remember 4 YEARS and an ENGAGEMENT (and only 2 dates huhu)

haha chill, anon. did you actually know that spoilers can make someone enjoy a story more? it’s actually a really interesting thing to google and find out more about. the chapter’s still the same whether you had an inkling of what was going on or not. you still enjoyed it too, right?  :D 

Anonymous said: CRAP OK, well, we knew it was something more than two days, but HONESTLY lol I love how you wrote y/n trying to keep it together. I could feel her fear as she lost control of the situation when Hoseok showed up. Do you think in her mind she even slightly expected him to show up? I'm assuming she's very internal w/ her thoughts/feelings seeing as she doesn't talk to anyone about what happened between her & Hobi all those years ago nor has she dealt w/ it, mostly just avoided it, would you say?

oh yeah oc was on the verge of a mental breakdown when he showed up rofl, damn near scared her. he was basically like a jumpscare LOL. but yeah for sure she didn’t expect him to come. i mean she basically told him and he was like ‘ok whatever’ and didn’t express interest and it’s not like he got an invite so she didn’t know he would actually go out of his way to show up. and yeah i agree, oc’s very internal with her feelings, or at least what happened all those years ago. it’s sensitive issues anyway that she’s left behind. or at least tried to.

tofugguk said: BROOO i LITERALLY— LITERALLY LOST IT. WHEN CHANGSUB DROPPED THEM BEING TOGETHER FOR LIKE FOUR YEARS THEN THE- “You guys even got engaged.” PART I SCREAMED. YOOOOO I CANTTT HANDLE THIS

Changsub isn’t the dumbass that we wanted. But the dumbass we needed.

((don’t you love how oc tried so hard to keep it a secret for like 16 chapters aka like near a year and some idiot comes trapezing in and in his first scene he just spills all the beans??? hahahha))

[faejilly]

tag game

Fic Writer Edition (tagged by @silver-latin-and-salt​, tagging, idk, whoever is writing atm? @twistedsinews​ @leahazel​ @junemermaid​, anyone who’d like, no one who doesn’t, etc.)

Fandoms: atm, primarily Shadowhunters. But also BioWare: Dragon Age and Mass Effect and maybe someday I’ll post some Jade Empire.

Also the occasional other game or TV show or Yuletide inspired one-shot. It’s a wide and ridiculous range of things, from a Georgette Heyer regency epilogue to Code: Realize and #7kpp to Firefly & even some Sleepy Hollow ficlets from back in s1 before we realized how terrible TPTB were going to be.

Number of fics: I have 158 works published on AO3.

This includes a couple of fanmixes that are linked on there to companion fics/series, two collaborative fics which are not just mine, even less so than most writing that is, and four WIPs: two of which I am still working on, one of which will absolutely 100% NEVER ever get more, and then that last one will probably not get more but who knows, maybe in ten years we’ll do a reunion and try again (it’s one of the collabs).

AS WELL AS: forty-seven different ficlet collections, sorted by fandom and pairing(s), because otherwise I would honestly have almost 1000 things and never be able to find a single damn one of them when I wanted to (and neither would anyone else). Like, ten of them are just for Shadowhunters because I split up the coda-fic by season and then also I put the porn in its own thing and Clizzy is kind of a post-canon AU so they’re on their own too and spin-offs of a particular fic setting get their own collection so they’re all together and etc. etc. etc.

Fic I spent a lot of time on: Do we count time actually writing? Or just the amount of time it hung out in my head before I finished it? Because I probably spent the most actual physical writing time on Lost For Words, which is a frothy cotton-candy experiment in long-fic for Mass Effect that I posted chapter by chapter as I wrote it and actually finished. (I have never successfully repeated the experience, tho I suppose a couple of my Shadowhunters fics will sort-of qualify in terms of length when they’re done, but they didn’t get posted semi-regularly and in progressive chapters in at all the same way.)

In terms of time between debut and completion, that would probably have to go to Cruel Intentions, which took over five years between initially going up on the Dragon Age Kink Meme and actually getting a conclusion.

i am for you and if broken hearts were whole have both been lingering WIPs for over two years at this point now, though, and a couple other DA2 fics were pretty close to that five year mark as well. 😅

Fic I didn’t spend a lot of time on: ashes of angels because I was coming up on my bingo deadline so I just pounded it out in a day. (It’s actually quite good tho! I think so, anyway! I am very proud of it! Read part one first, if you haven’t yet!)

also Impossible, (DA2, Bethany/Sebastian, confessional!porn) which mostly wrote itself in pretty short order, which was delightful. (Tho I also had a very astute beta for that one; don’t think he’s on tumblr anymore tho, or I’d yell at him in thanks again.) I told y’all I had a priest!kink problem. Not that you hadn’t all noticed on your own, anyways...

Longest fic: Finished? The aforementioned Lost for Words at just over 62k.

In limbo? Persephone Rising is literally three times longer than my next longest fic (and still not done!) but it is also a collab fic with three authors, so I suppose that sort of evens out?

Active WIP? i am for you at 59k. I’m not sure how much more is left of that one, tbqh... it will probably end up a bit longer than LfW, tho maybe not by much.

Shortest fic: I have no fucking clue, 47 ficlet collections, remember? In terms of a thing that I forgot to collect, apparently it is Consequences, which is my Brosca after the Landsmeet in DA:O.

Most hits/Most kudos/Most bookmarks: ALL THREE FOR i am for you! (Wonder how it’ll do when it’s no longer marked as a WIP?)

Total word count: On AO3: 1,137,609 !!!

(Sorry, you can see why I had to make that big tho, right?)

Fic I want to rewrite/expand: Except for the revisions to what is now Maleficar, I much prefer to leave fic as is, once it’s up there, so nothing on the re-write front. It was what it was when I did it, and it’s important to remember that, even when you move on to new stuff, imo.

But! I have potential/hopeful sequels in the WIP folder for and breathing is wishing, out of some dreaming tree, with an if in its soul, and several assorted ficlet collections & prompts I’ve sort of teased over the years. 

Favourite fic of mine: At the moment, they have hung the sky with arrows because it’s a thing I’m not sure I ever really thought I was going to write, and then I did and I surprised myself a little, but it was fun and it ties together a lot of my thoughts on the Shadowhunters finale in a way I really enjoyed. (Also it has an actual plot! I don’t do that terribly often, I’m usually very introspective in my fic.)

Sneak peek of a WIP/Share an idea? I started a Shadowhunter!Magnus fic for a bingo square, but then scope creep! so I made a moodboard, but there is maybe a fic on the way... eventually. After my Bangs. 🤞🏻

The first time Magnus Bane met the High Warlock of Manhattan it was during his "travels", the two years after graduating from the Academy when most Nephilim wandered from Institute to Institute, seeing how things were done differently around the world, how they were still so often the same, learning about all the things you couldn't see in a classroom.

He wasn't actually in New York City in order to meet the High Warlock, of course, not as a 17-year-old foot soldier, that was well above his pay grade, as the mundanes put it. But when all the full-fledged Shadowhunters had work to do, he was assigned escort duty when the High Warlock showed up to do his yearly wards inspection. 

Magnus met High Warlock Lightwood at the main entrance, and almost swallowed his own tongue at the sight of him, a broad shouldered, long-legged white man dressed in a conservative but very well-tailored suit, with heavy eyebrows, even heavier eyelashes, and a complete and utter lack of anything resembling an expression on his face. 

A shiver went down Magnus' spine as he met the High Warlock's gaze, and he refused to think too much about why.

Magnus managed to introduce himself reasonably coherently, he thought, offering a hand to shake, but the High Warlock just raised an eyebrow at him. "I thought I'd talked them out of this nonsense last year."

"Uh." Magnus swallowed. The man was both terrifying and ludicrously attractive, and Magnus resigned himself to being a slightly stuttering idiot for the next four-to-six hours. "Not my call, I'm sorry to say. Sir."

The High Warlock rolled his eyes, and stepped forward. Magnus barely managed to dodge out of his way, and followed along behind him as he stalked towards the Angelic Core, where all the Institute Wards were anchored.

He never once acknowledged Magnus' presence as he worked, never asked for directions, or needed any sort of assistance. Magnus followed him anyway, and couldn't even bring himself to be upset about the waste of his time because damn, that view. He could see the shift of Lightwood's shoulders beneath the line of his coat, the tension in the muscles in his arms as each tiny motion correlated to whatever he was doing with his magic. There was so much power there, constrained and under his complete control.

The High Warlock never took so much as a wasted step in his clearly perfectly planned spiral of a route through the Institute's halls, circling out from the Core, stopping at each node, hitting all four corners of the building, before reaching the main doors again several hours later. 

Once there he finally turned and looked at Magnus directly. He dipped his head in some slight acknowledgement, straightened his cuffs, and his face shifted into something that was merely neutral and professional rather than granite. "There were no concerns to note, Mr. Bane. The wards have been refreshed, and the contract terms have been met."

"Thank you," Magnus managed, though he had to cough to get his voice to cooperate. 

The High Warlock's face softened, a hint of something that wasn't quite surprise in his eyes, but Magnus wasn't sure what to call it instead. "You're very welcome."

He nodded again, slightly more sincerely, perhaps, though there still wasn't enough of an expression on his face to properly qualify, in Magnus' opinion, and then he turned and left. 

Magnus blinked at the doors as they shut behind him, and let out one long slow exhale. His shoulders relaxed, and it was only now that his posture sagged that he realized he'd been extra tense the entire time, as if waiting for an attack that had never come.

[balmerancrystalance]

the jock, the preppy and the nerd aka garrison matadashi hcs

matt and shiro meet for the first time when matt was getting bullied, trying to fight them in all his pre-serum steve rogers glory, when the roaring of a bike echoes loudly, following by someone yelling at the bully from behind to “pick someone of their own size”

shiro, taking off his helmet and hopping off the bike: hey, you alright?

matt, breathless by both the fight and the pretty boy now helping him stand up: yeah, you should’ve seen the other guy

this is why shiro has been a hero longer for matt than anyone else

shiro immediatelly becoming sam’s favorite after finding out what happened

they bond over comics, movies, memes and of course, s p a c e

they also become commander iverson’s headache

on his first try on the simulator shiro effortlessly beats the record

matt, whistling: would you look at that. soon you’re gonna have every girl in here drooling over you

shiro: *closeted gay silence*

shiro eventually comes out to matt as gay when watching love, simon on movie night, giving matt the confidence enough to come out as bisexual

matt starts to wear glasses and hates them because he thinks now he looks even more like a nerd

matt: it’s like i literally have a ‘break my nose’ sign tattooed on my forehead

shiro, without looking up from his paper: actually, the reason why you get beat up is because you wear heelies but go off i guess? besides, i think they look cute

matt: *blushes in bisexual*

a year later, the first day adam walks into class shiro’s brain short-circuits

caramel smooth skin, aurburn hair falling all over his face, golden eyes looking through the room, uniform fitting in just the right places and-oh shit, he’s coming this way, fuck fuck f u c k

adam, smiling: hi, excuse me, is that seat taken?

shiro, a gay mess™: *tentatively looking down at his lap* i-

matt, slamming his hands against the table: please, join us

just when shiro thought he survived his interaction of adam asking him for a pencil their teacher offers shiro to show to show the new kids around

teacher: i’m sure one of our best students here would love to walk you through the installations and help you getting settled down

shiro, internally: ♫ conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them knoooow ♫

adam, nudging his arm smirking: so, what you say golden boy?

*shiro.exe has stopped working and somehow got even gayer*

matt excusing himself of having to do something for the rest of the day, even tho he knows shiro knows he’s lying

matt, picking up his stuff as soon as the bell rings: i’d love to join you but you know how dad gets when i’m late and stuff but hey, have fun, yeah? gotta gay-go, i gotta go!

adam, hooking his glasses into his slightly open garrison jacket: seems like you’re stuck with me

shiro: *gay panic bass boosted x10000*

the three of them quickly become friends, adam becoming their new mediator whenever they bicker (”okay, but hear me out, what if shiro is actually six?” “for the last time, that’s not how it fucking works”), knowing for some reason shiro would always listen to him and that matt is slightly intimidated by him

shiro wears his garrison jacket out, adam wears it tucked in and matt is lucky if he remembers to wear it

adam beats shiro’s score on the simulator on his first try but he’s already way head over heels for him to be even bothered about it, too focused on adam’s smile as he comes out of the ship to hear the other kids mocking because ‘the new kid beat his score’

shiro, later that day: i guess some congratulations are in order

adam, releasing the breath he was holding: oh, thank god. i thought you’d be mad at me

shiro, smirking: well, maybe i am

adam: oh, really now? *getting closer to shiro* can i make it up to you?

matt, bursting into the room in nagisa 50% off’s voice: sup, sluts?

matt knows they like-like each other before even they do, maybe its a holt’s intuition, maybe its the fact they were the epitome of the mutual pining ao3 tag

shiro finally asks adam on a date??? he’s still not sure how it happened, like, one minute he was was talking about a meteor shower and the next one adam’s hand was on his thigh saying he would see him tonight

if he got lost in adam’s lips in the middle of the conversation, which had some information he could really use right now, no one needed to know

shiro, running around their living room in panic: what do i do?

matt, playing video games sitting upside down on the couch: use the bike, that did it for me

shiro, after getting his keys and slamming the door shut: right-wait, what?!

boy oh boy does adam love the bike

shiro: need a ride, star pilot?

adam, already hopping on the bike: i don’t know. i’m not supposed to get on bikes with strangers. no matter how hot they are

shiro, laughing: then thank god you’re an awful listener

adam, whispering on shiro’s ear, smiling: to the stars, golden boy

its cheesy and disgusting and if he tells matt he won’t hear the end of it but adam looks so pretty under the moonlight shiro doesn’t care, its just perfect

shiro: did you asked for a wish already?

adam: to every single one we saw so far

shiro: how many things could you possibly want

adam, getting closer to finally kiss shiro: well, right now? just one, you

shiro and adam go back to shiro’s room forgetting matt was there o o p s

adam, the next day: are we really going to pretend nothing happe-

matt and shiro, at the same time: yes

once its oficial, adam and matt switch rooms so he can be with shiro, matt agreeding immediately when he found out adam’s roomate droped out, meaning he had the whole room to himself

adam calls him “takashi” for the first time and shiro ascends to the astral plane

the three of them somehow graduate from the garrison with honors

adam and shiro decide to become teachers, commander iverson’s recommendation, and matt hangs around every now and then helping sam

everyfuckingone in the galaxy garrison knows they’re a thing™

shiro, knocking into adam’s classroom: professor, might i have a word?

students: oOOooOooooOoOoooOOOoOooOhhhh

years later they find out that not only matt, but shiro as well, could be part of the kerberos mission, adam nothing but excited and supportive of his two favorite boys

after a few requiered studies for the mission are done, shiro gets called back, returning a few hours later with papers in his trembling hands

matt, getting up from adam’s lap where he was solving his rubik's cube: oh, fucking finally. dude, what took you so long?

adam, getting up as well: i was starting to geeting worried. what they said?

shiro, looking down at the paper, whispering: i’m... dying

shiro doesn’t get to continue because suddenly adam is runing away, feeling like he’s going to be sick at any moment, matt motioning him with his head to go after him, that he’ll be fine and they’ll talk about it later

that same day matt gets home and walks into sam’s office, sam is on the phone with someone but immediately hungs up at the sight of his son, they don’t say anything, they don’t need to

sam just nods and matt rushes to cry into his arms as loud as he can maybe since the time he found out he was having a sister and thought it meant his parents wouldn’t love him anynmore

shiro constantly says he’s okay, but he’s not

shiro and adam start to fight

they both end up occasionally at matt’s bed in the middle of the night, shiro just being done with life and needing a shoulder to cry on, adam terrified of not knowing how much left he has left to live with shiro

if matt wakes up sandwiched between his best friends he doesn’t mind

adam and matt work with the garrison on a project to create a device that would estimulate shiro’s muscles, they know its not much but its enough to make him cry, so they take it as a win

shiro and adam keep fighting

one night while watching movies adam asks matt to bring him his glasses, since shiro was way too comfortable to move from his spot sprawled across his lap apparently, matt finding a box with an engagement ring by accident

tiny teeny baby keith becomes part of this dysfunctional as fuck gay family

matt, mocking: aren’t you two too young to raise a child?

adam, sipping his black coffee not looking up from the newspaper: i don’t know. i think we’ve done a pretty decent job with you

adam sees how good shiro is with keith and fuck he just wants k i d s

shiro and adam just keep on fighting

the night after showing pidge how sam and him communicate it hits him like a whiplash, running to the garrison to find adam to tell him the good news, that the three of them will be able to talk all the way from kerberos

but he eavesdrops by accident them fighting about adam being tired about shiro constantly putting himself in danger and finally breaking up, so he keeps it to himself

when adam and shiro started to date, matt, being the overprotective best friend he is, told adam to take care of shiro, the morning before leaving for kerberos, adam asks him to return the favor

[pooklet]

unaesthetic asks (anon edition)

i usually use a psd for asks to make them look nice and transparent and number them but tbh it’s just keeping me from answering asks quickly, having to shift layers around and stuff. so this is me literally cutting and pasting the text of some asks into a text post instead, sry.

if i did not answer yr thing here i lost/never got the ask, need a separate post to answer it (community lot anon), or worked myself into an anxious lather when i did not have an immediate response at the ready and fled into the woods to hide inside an old damp log and mutate slowly into a creature composed entirely of moss.

1) hey friend i think i can actually help with this one! slig did my poor lover for momma lisa, and has a few of my other skins linked to different body meshes in this tag here. @asimplevampire​ also did rehash for androgyny. those are the two i know off the top of my head but if anyone else knows any others pls reply to this post!

i don’t personally make showerproof skintones for body meshes because i a) am lazy and b) don’t usually take pics of my sims in the shower or naked in general so the occasional floating head just gives me a lil chortle when it does happen.

2) yis, it is the second to last one in this post by @magpieplayssims​ with a bunch of face masks piled on.

3) i use a personal edit of gunmod’s 3.1 A camera which alters the, like, central pivot axis so i can swing the camera underground into any basements i might be using. as a result, whenever i load the lot, it starts me off zoomed inside the floor, you just gotta zoom out with the scroll wheel to get above ground and it works normally from there. i haven’t figured out how to mitigate this while still being able to access underground rooms. which is why my edit never got its own post, but i did share it here.

4) nah, not really. i mean i have an outdated one at the back of my catalogue but my face is boring to me cuz i see it every day n stuff & i’m less and less interested in making human features now that custom sliders have let me go absolutely mad with power.

5) ye sorry i put that on my to-do list and promptly forgot about it cuz my brain seems to think that putting something on a list means it’s done forever now!!!! but now it’s actually done and i’m fixing the other links too.

6) yr phone is a craven liar and i will not stand for this libel. earlier today i was genuinely bewildered by a discussion about channing tatum cuz i thought his name was tatum channing. i sat there for minutes, convinced that there were two guys in hollywood one named channing tatum and the other named tatum channing and wondering if that ever got confusing for them.

7) u would be surprised, friend! my memory is a lawless wasteland but i do not end up chatting back and forth w/ many ppl b/c i am a seething pit of social anxiety. if we talked, like, more than twice, i probs remember u!

8) omg i was about to be like “nah i never made nosemasks for those” but that is a fucking lie of the highest caliber, i totally did make one (1) set and then forgot entirely about it. i will post them with the next batch of bodyshop content which should be Shortly (and if i don’t just yell @ me and i’ll just lazily put them on sfs and link them in a reply).

also thank u anon i am glad u like my content! :D

9) omg thank u so much anon that is so sweet of u to say!! truly i don’t feel like i have accomplished a whole lot beyond managing to snag @resurrection-failed​ but that is definitely the Best thing i could accomplish so i am 100% fine w/ that

10) oh ts4. i want to play it real bad but i have discovered that playing games that are still being updated and could break at any moment due to a new patch or ep gives me hives. esp when it’s sims games b/c those are held together exclusively w/ wishes and prayers as it is. they’re like the bottom panel of an expanding brain meme on spaghetti coding. at least when the game is Done there nothing else for EA to break (... right?). plus i only have base+pets and no money to throw at the other expansions so i could maybe download 1/10th of the cc available out there ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

but i am excited to be late af to the party. lemme tell u. thank u for saying such nice things, anon!! i hope u have a good day also. like, lots of ‘em.

11) hey anon! it’s built into tumblr’s text editor. u type the text first, highlight it, and click on the fourth button that looks like a slouchy figure 8 to insert yr link. i’m not sure if it’s the same on mobile, tho, cuz the tumblr mobile app is self-elected torture.

12) i do not right now but i can make one. idk if it would interest you but i am also doing a big ol’ blend of the hq eyes and wifezaya’s favorite ephemera mist eyes and will make a default version of those too when they are done.

13) nah i am still using my v3 texture for straight hairs and for waves or natural hair i just use nouk’s originals. i’m old-fashioned and boring. if u need help w/ making yr own, tho, i would suggest checking out @furbyq​’s tutorial here!

14) hey friend! i did have plans to do that, in that vague way where i have plans to do many things but most of the time end up taking a five-hour nap under a cat instead or watchin game grumps. luckily, @digitalangels​ is a doll and did it for me so consider this my official endorsement. i am pooklet and i approve this action.

15) hey anon. when did i call it that?? i think usually i just call it marriage or equal marriage if i need to specify (or gay marriage if i’m feelin Spicy cuz nonbinary-for-nonbinary is pretty gay). if i did say same-sex it was probs w/ implied air-quotes since that was the term du jour when we got married, which was 3+ years before the supreme court mandate, when it was only legal in some places and everyone was still ‘‘‘‘debating’’’’ the ‘‘‘‘issue’’’’ of queers gettin all married.

16) i been gatherin’ links for u anon but lemme look around a lil more. i will either give this its own post or add it as its own section in the resource post that is like .... five years overdue. meanwhile if anyone reading this has anything they either know is made for dark skin or works well universally or knows of a list like this that already exists, i would appreciate links!

17) I KNOW THAT’S YOU, AZAYA