#why would you want 4 seasons of someone acting the exact same and not progressing

[youngmisterfrodo]

its season 2 and I'm still seeing ppl who want trop galadriel to be exactly the same as pj lotr galadriel........

[reymiart]

Hawk’s true self

This is just me rambling about Hawk’s character because there’s just so much to theorize and talk about. it’s probably way too long and congested so I apologize in advance

In the first arc he’s introduced in, he keeps saying how he has no self control. He says this twice and even shows it at the billboard charts where he starts speaking his thoughts. But later on as the story progresses we see that Hawks has exceptional control of himself, more specifically his emotions and his behavior. He’s so good at hiding his true feelings that it’s the reason the commission chooses him to be a double agent with the league of villains. 

It’s likely that Hawks was trained as a child for this sort of espionage activity since he himself says that he was taught negotiation skills at an early age. This is why Endeavor can’t tell when he’s being serious because Hawks always acts jokingly around him. Hawks knows this, which is why he acted so serious when giving Endeavor the coded book to let him know something was off. Some say Hawks is a chaotic neutral, and that definitely fits with how he acted during the billboard awards. However you could say he is actually lawful neutral, and is someone who always gets done what needs to be done. He wanted to support Endeavor as the number one hero and he did whatever was needed to do so. In the same way, whatever the commission wants him to do, he gets done. I think it’s clear that there are two sides to Hawks, or Keigo Takami. The chaotic and easy going hero persona, and the lawful and controlled commission pawn. I personally think that the easy going persona is how hawks really feels or how he wants to be, but after being drilled into what is essentially a child soldier, he can’t shake off what he has been trained into becoming. 

One aspect that I find interesting is how baby Keigo says he wants to be like Endeavor, but as an adult he insists that he wants the freedom of the lower ranks and that his “back isn’t wide enough”. I think this is a combination of realizing that the hero world isn’t all what he thought it was (”there are no true heros”) and knowing that as a commission pawn, his role is to work in espionage which isn’t suited to the number 1 hero. His desire that he wants all heroes to “take it easy” and how he wants to be lower in the ranks could be hinting at how he’s actually secretly tired of working for the commission or even being a hero since it’s not what he signed up for (he got roped in when he was like 4 there’s no way he knew what he was signing up for). I think Keigo definitely enjoys being a hero and wanted to be a hero, but baby keigo specifically said “shine brightly”. He wanted to shine brightly like Endeavor but instead he’s being forced to hide in the shadows and constantly lie to be people, which he stated he dislikes doing. He’s not doing the double agent job because he wants to, he’s doing it because he “has no choice” which are is own words. Heroes normally have a choice when it comes to jobs, don’t they? They are free to choose what kind of hero they want to be. But Keigo never had a choice. He owes his life and success to the commission and has been groomed to stay loyal to them. He’s a bird locked in a cage, and he even tells this to twice when asked why he sympathizes with the villains. I don’t think he was lying because the easiest way to lie is when there’s truth mixed in. And Hawks genuinely liked twice.

Now to the recent events in the manga, where things get interesting. Hawks has been getting some heat with what he did to twice but I think this moment is what solidifies all my speculations and everything I said up until this point. Hawks is good at controlling himself. However in these chapters you can see him slowly breaking down. He desperately tries to hide this fact by outright stating things like “I don’t get attached” when dabi calls him out for getting attached right after, and being very forceful and distant when facing twice. I won’t get too much into this scene cause I’ve seen other people do a better job at analyzing it and this is my first time writing about a show, ever, but basically Hawks is having difficulty separating his emotions from his duty. This is the first conflict we see between true easy going hawks and loyal commission hawks. However in the past we haven’t seen much evidence as to how connected or manipulated Hawks is with the commission. For all we know he could have been working for them willingly or quit whenever he wanted to. That all changes with all the bombshells this chapter, including baby hawks, which I talked about in the previous paragraph. With this scene, we have come to realize what the commission really means to hawks. He’s so desperate to keep his loyalty to them that I think he’s behaving rather strangely with twice and not as any other hero would. I think a normal hero would have thought that if they can’t capture him now, they would retreat and ambush them later (considering dabi in close quarters is a horrible match up for hawks and he knows it) but hawks is thinking, “If he doesn’t give up I need to *kill* him.” I don’t think any hero in bnha so far has “killed” a villain or even thought to “kill” a villain (nomus are basically dead already so that doesn't count). It’s always been defeat and capture. I’m sure Hawks could knock him unconscious but he’s desperate and tries to make up for his wavering loyalty by killing twice, the exact opposite of what he truly wants to do. He finally breaks when dabi calls his real name “Keigo Tamaki”, the name the commission forced him to abandon. The reminder of his true self is what caused Hawks to waver so much in loyalty that he went straight for the kill, almost to kill any last remaining chances of letting his emotions take over. This is what I mean when I said this moment is what solidifies my theories on his character. The commission means so much to him, or has manipulated him so much that in order to keep his loyalty to him, he kills someone he thought was a good person. This just shows how deep the brainwashing has gone to Hawks. Why is he so desperate to keep his alignment with the commission? Because he has no identity outside of them. They have guided and controlled him his entire life and as much as he wants to be free, he’s been trained to never betray them. He’s a man that does whatever it takes to get things done and in that moment he thought he had to stop twice, stop his wavering loyalty, stop his questioning of heros.

tldr; Hawks wanted to be a hero that shines brightly but the commission forced him to become the opposite, making him see hero society for what it really is, a corporate industry for money and fame. He seemingly accepts this, seeing how he talked about the importance of popularity at the billboard awards, but Endeavor still holds a sentimental place in his heart as a great hero that shines brightly. This explains why he doesn’t like all might, he sees him as a “too perfect” hero, almost too good to be true, while endeavor breaks down barriers, even when it’s impossible. Also Hawks has a bias against Endeavor because he saved him as a kid. 

Well this got off track real fast, *real tldr;*: Hawks has two sides to him which worked together, as easy going hawks just accepted his own situation, and the fact that he’s a pawn for the commission. The commission are the good guys so he doesn’t really care that they control him. He’s just that selfless of a guy. However after having to betray people he likes, his morality and sense of loyalty wavers and in the end his commission self overwrites what he truly wanted to do.

This is important because the commission self needs to be established as the one controlling Hawks before his character can get broken down and get development, and in the end his true self can prevail and he can be free.

I have always got the feeling that Hawks is a selfless person. He got roped into being the kind of hero he didn't want to be but accepts it because he knows the heros are the good guys and in the end he's helping people. It doesn't matter that he's not where he truly wants to be. He's been so brainwashed by the commission that he believes his own feelings don't matter either.

I’m looking forward to how the story goes but I almost don’t want to get my expectations too high in case things go nothing the way I expect. It’s going to be torture waiting for season 5 to come out. Even the weekly chapters are starting to be torture lol 

also im so sorry this is so messy and unedited and I don’t even like writing I’m an art student not an english major so there’s probably grammatical errors but I just had to get all my thoughts down. If you actually read till the end you’re a madman and I love you.

[girlobsessed21]

My thoughts on The 100 7x05

Hey, guys,

Sorry for not doing any comments on the last two episodes. I’ve been a little busy and I struggled to connect to the show, so it hindered my enjoyment, but it’s all better now. Liked episode 4 and 5 was even better, jampacked with info and it answered a lot of questions.

Welcome to Bardo

Badass Octavia is da bomb (people don’t say that anymore, right?). When she was captured in episode two, I thought she had lost her fighting spirit, but it’s back, bitches. Well, until she runs into an invisible wall trying to escape. She’s captured and transported to M-cap (whatever that means). Then we get a welcome little flashback to Lincoln but it’s obvious that Bellamy would be the hand reaching out. He’s her rock, like she’s expressed many times.

Unlike John Murphy who is not quite a friend, or family and definitely not a lover. Introducing so many new characters in the final season of a show is never a good idea, because this is the time to wrap up all the stories of the existing ones, but come on, who cannot love Levitt. Even when he first meets Octavia, he doesn’t want to hurt her. Jason, you better not harm one hair on this precious little puppy’s head!

As he binges The 100 through Octavia’s eyes, he starts rooting for her, and he actually gives a damn, unlike most people on this show. He understands her strengths and weaknesses and he makes her see it too. “You’re a warrior to be sure, but your heart is pure.” Wow, what an honest and beautiful line. (Scroll down for my shipping comments.)

So is O and Hope’s fleeting little reunion. It’s amazing to experience this deep loving side of Octavia after her darkness. She’s truly one of the most diverse and developed characters on the series. Now Hope and her resilience is quickly making it to the top as well.

While Hope is trying to send her back home, we learn that memory loss is due to the time dilation. One quick note on this, it’s not linear, there’s no easy equation to calculate it unless you’re Stephen Hawking or Einstein. I don’t think it’s constant either. 10 years on Skyring = 11 days on Bardo = a few minutes on Sanctum. In the current time, 5 years on Skyring = 1 day on Sanctum = 7 days on Bardo. So, it’s clear that the planets are moving, and other factors are playing into the phenomenon. It’s more important to understand the time relative to each planet.

Levitt was the one who tattooed Hope’s code onto O’s back, also the one who planted the note into Hope’s arm. Indeed the kind of man you want on the inside, he even accepts a blow to the face as thank you.

Sheep-ish?

Thirty minutes on the clock and the trio gets led to a congregation to praise the shepherd. I never thought it was Anders, I do, however think it might be Cadogan. The Bordoan’s built the underground forest because they destroyed their planet. Ugh, what’s new? The shepherd herded his sheep from earth to Bardo via the stone. Cadogan and his second dawn cult?

Back to Clarke. So, after last episode I thought ‘the key to winning the last war’ line was an artifice for luring Clarke to disciples, but now it’s clearly true. They’ve located the key and they will win the last war. Levitt was interested in Clarke surviving the City of Light with the flame in her head, they probably assume she still has it. Cadogan burned Becca alive. Could it be because of the flame? Is this all because of that damn little chip that can’t seem to die?

Bellamy is not dead, I repeat, Bellamy is not dead! I believe that memory could be staged or implanted for a reason. Also, there’s no body, he jumped through the bridge. In the promo photos, he wears a ring but his actions towards Octavia seem a little cold and generic. On first watch, I thought it was bad acting but if he was programmed to do this, it makes sense.

Note the sequence of events. Octavia returned 7 days ago and was asked to talk her brother down, but we don’t see the actual scene. Instead we’re shown a memory. They could have implanted it to make her vulnerable and perhaps more susceptible to the procedure. I don’t know, but this theory could lead to Robot-sheep!Bellamy on Nakara, where he’ll encounter Clarke and the gang.

I have to be honest, I really don’t like this character arc for Bellamy. It’s unoriginal and a mime of Peeta’s storyline in Mockingjay. Sorry, but so far it feels like the writers were so over the show, they just wanted to get it done. And that attitude really bleeds into one’s creative concepts. I could be completely wrong, in fact, I hope I am.

Echo spins a Finn

My word, I lost the love of my life once, but I sure didn’t kill anyone. When Echo received that vision of Roan, I was hoping for some progression on her individual arc, they’ve made me care about her, and now we get the opposite. Why? One thing I have to admit, a killer performance from Tasya Teles! No pun intended.

Look, this show hasn’t explored Bellamy and Echo’s relationship enough to make her murder believable. It was the exact same thing with Finn. I wasn’t invested in Finn and Clarke’s connection, so his actions of killing a grounder tribe was more repulsive than understandable. Sure, Echo loves Bellamy and her sole purpose is to save him, but I’ve never truly witnessed their love for each other. They had one or two intimate scenes which cannot compel a deed like this. And in the process, she screwed Hope and Diyoza.

Anyway, I don’t think there’s any coming back from it. She murdered an innocent person in cold blood. That’s sure to open a door to the dark side.  Just look at Octavia after killing Pike and her actions were justified by jus drein jus daun.

Say Sanctum three times slowly and it sounds like… Sanctum

Blind faith

Look, I’m just gonna come out and say this song is getting old. Every episode featuring Sanctum is the exact same thing with different lines. Can we please move on from it, already? Yes, we know the COG want Russel dead, and the adjusters will go to extreme lengths to free Russel and the prisoners are background noise.

I did appreciate Nelson stepping in to try and save the girl, though. Still doesn’t save the fact that it’s repetitive. The Sanctum plotline is really struggling to take shape and I hope it happens soon. Dramatic eyeroll.

At least in the drought of a desert, you can always count on Murphy. “…I say we live and let die.” Typical cockroach line, right, but it’s ironic when he’s the one to step up, even if it is for Emori. Under the magnifying glass it’s the exact same plot as episode 1 and 3. He hesitates to take action, and eventually becomes the hero.

I mean, he saved that poor kid from being burned alive. Can you imagine sacrificing your own child in such a horrific away? Cults are beyond whacked, and, unfortunately, it’s reality that cult members are so blinded by their faith that they do not see rhyme or reason.

How did Murphy fail that test? I didn’t. When Trey named the four pillars, I thought, isn’t rejoice one of them? Surely, a cockroach would have smelled that trap a mile away.

Indra the great

Can we just give a massive round of applause to Adina Porter!!! That powerhouse walk vibrates strength and majesty, damn, she should be a false god, I wouldn’t dare threaten her with or without an army.

Three little words was all it took for her to recognize evil. “There’s a spider on your shoulder.” Smooth. Too bad she can’t kill him. Why not, how many of the faithful are left to cause an uproar? Wonkru doesn’t know it’s Sheidheda, they won’t care, the COG will fall in line and the prisoners will be happy as long as they get their compound. Sorry, I don’t get it and I don’t understand why she doesn’t tell anyone.  Someone please explain?

Granted, JR Bourne as Russel is way better, but I still don’t understand his actions. I hope they explore and explain him more, because he still feels flat unless he knows something of this final war. I’m hoping these two storylines align soon since it’s really driving a wedge between me and my love for the show.

Shipwreck

I’ll start with the easy stuff, Murphy, Emori and the perfect dress gets a heart eye emoji from me. They are so damn cute this season, can they please live happily ever after in the palace?

Octabriel vs Levittavia

Now, I enjoy Levitt fangirling over Octavia. I feel like he has a deep sense of her through her memories. If I have to root for an underdeveloped relationship, it will have to be one where the characters share thoughts and experiences even if it is through a sick, sci-fi procedure.

On the other hand, Gabriel and Octavia have immense chemistry, two seconds of them together bends my mouth into an “Aah, cute” pout. This will also add some approval and representation for mixed racial relationships.

I really don’t mind either way as long as they make me care through showing and not telling.

Bellarke

So, if my theory is correct, and Bellamy does end up on Nakara, Bellarke will encounter each other quite soon. Bellamy won’t be himself though, but he might pretend to be Bellamy to win Clarke’s co-operation. Is there hope for Bellarke yet?

Echo is now trotting a dangerous path and Bellamy might be pledged to a cause, so I doubt there will be a happy ending for Becho. Since 7x01 I’ve been thinking that the writers might want to develop something between Clarke and Gaia but if they are separated, is there enough time? Guess we’ll see.

This monster of a review is finally done… If you read through everything, you deserve a gold star! Let me know what you think, till we meet again…

[hoardcloneheadcanons]

The Season 1 Villain: Mr. Blackwood

Summary [ A time travelling Martin Blackwood accidentally bullies his past counterpart and a young Jonathan Sims into getting together in order to gang-up on him]

 Yesterday Is Here is a time-travel fix-it fic of the Magnus Archives by CirrusGrey found on AO3 that I highly recommend. It helps emotionally cope with the tragedy of the actual series and it’s very well written.

I have my own ideas on what would happen in the fic if the time travel went slightly different and Martin showed up first, which now lives rent-free in my head as an AU to an AU. I’m hoping by writing it down I can free myself of it’s grip over me. If you don’t want spoilers for the fic, or seasons 1-4 of the Magnus Archives, stop here.

 In the fic Jon and Martin from the Archives have been married and survived the apocalypse together. Both use the Helen’s doors to travel back in time to season 1 of the Magnus Archives and prevent most of the tragedies from happening. Jon uses his spooky Archivist Powers to threaten Elias, extorting him for money and preventing the appocolypse. And both Martin and Jon dispose of the main villains of season 1 and 2.

But some shenanigans happened in Helen’s doors that make it so Jon shows up first and Martin doesn’t show up until two months later. Here’s my idea of what would happen if those positons got reversed.

-The Archival Staff call Future Martin Mr. Blackwood to differentiate him from their present-day Martin. I will also be doing so, from here on out.

-Jon is, of course, skeptical, and keeps insisting that this must be some long lost brother of Martin’s who is trying to scam them (Or even his father, despite Mr. Blackwood not looking much older than Martin). Mr. Blackwood proceeds to list small intimate details about each of them (how they take their tea, things that happened their last birthday. Stuff that would be very essentially Martin to know) but also sounds very impatient the entire time. He does not have time for Jon’s feigned skepticism and denial and does not hide it.

-It becomes clear very quickly to the Archival staff that Mr. Blackwood is a lot meaner than Martin. He doesn’t make tea for people unless he’s trying to corner them to talk to them, He’s willing to kill spiders rather than release them. Murder doesn’t seem that out of the question for him. And while both Martin and Blackwood are big people, Matrin Hunches and keeps his voice soft and tries to seem smaller. Blackwood does none of that and will push his way through people and/or loom sometimes.

-As a result Tim starts jokingly referring to him as the Anti-Martin. When Mr. Blackwood starts mentioning that there should be a Mr. Sims showing up, Tim insists on making a list of traits that he bets  Mr. Sims will have based on him being an “Anti-Jon”. The traits include: Wearing only bright colors, not-giving a fig about archive policy, believing all the statements (even the dumb ones), smiling, being nice to Martin, being social and (on a day where Jon was being particularly annoying) being cool.

-A few of them are totally off the mark, but many of them are actually frighteningly close to the truth.

-He ropes Sasha into it too. They decide together that Sims and Blackwood have a one-sided relationship where Sims is absolutely besotted and Blackwood either barely tollerates him or is seducing him for his Head Archivist pay.

(It’s funny because Jon isn’t making much more than any of the Archival Staff)

-Blackwood is fairly nice to Sasha who is reasonable and listens to relevant threats. Tim appreciates him for confirming and advancing the research he’s done on Robert Smirke and the Circus. But Martin and Jon hate him. He bullies them both in different ways.

-Blackwood keeps trying to convince his younger self to grow a spine, make some boundaries. He keeps trying to tell him that he can’t fix things by being nice to everyone. Martin does not appreciate it.

-Mr. Blackwood will occasionally talk like Martin’s Mum and it makes it hurt more. Not exact sentiments or sentiments but familiar phrasing and tones. Blackwood doesn’t know he’s doing it.

-Meanwhile Blackwood takes away all the “real” statements from Jon (the ones that won’t record on the computer) and spreading them out amongst the archive staff. He insists that reading them will turn Jon into an eldritch creature that feeds on human trauma and gives people nightmares. Jon thinks this is a load of absolute bull. (If you must read them, Jon, at least don’t read them outloud. Type them up or something. Don’t be stupid.)

-Jon’s the type of person who needs to know and asks all the uncomfortable questions, so having someone take away the only real information bothers him. Even if Tim, Sasha and Martin have the information it still bothers him to not know.

-Jon is also really insecure about deserving his job, and desperately trying to prove himself. So having a man burst in and tell him how to do his job stings.

-Mr. Blackwood also isn’t delicate when pointing out Jon’s skepticism is dumb. He says all the things Martin thinks but is too polite to say.

(”I’m sure there’s a very natural reason for Carlos Vittery to be wrapped up in spider webs upon his death”

“Are you serious? Jon, if you keep up this ridiculous denial you’re going to walk yourself right into something’s mouth just to prove a point. Or worse, send someone else into it. And you of all people should know supernatural spiders are dangerous.

“What do you mean, I of all people?”

“I think you know what I mean, Jon.”)

-Jon and Martin actually end up hanging out because they bond over their mutual dislike of Mr. Blackwood.

-Jon defends Martin agains Mr. Blackwood and vice-versa.

-The first time it happens, it’s Jon defending Martin and Mr. Blackwood acts surprised.

-(I don’t know why we should trust you. Even if all this supernatural nonsense is true there’s no reason we should take you’re word on how it works! You barge into the archives telling everyone what to do, fear mongering with tales of secret societies trying to cause the apocalypse, you upset Martin all the time “for his own good, you-”

“-wait, wait wait- Martin?” “When did you start caring about Martin?”

“What do you mean? He’s one of my archival assistants, of course I care about him.”

“Jon, you bully him more often than I do.”

“I-No I don’t.”

“You make it very clear what you think of his work and competence, Jon. And you send him to all the worst assignments. He let’s it happen because he knows he’s not the best at research, and he knows you’re under pressure from Elias, and he really tries not to take it personally, but it hurts him Jon. It builds up and it hurts him, even if he never says it does. So yes, forgive me if I think you’re being a bit hypocritical.”)

-Jon apologizes to Martin after that and really tries to be nicer because he does not like the idea that he’s as bad as Mr. Blackwood. He watches what he says around Martin a lot more closely after that, and keeps an eye on Martin’s reactions.

-Jon will tell Martin that he thinks he’s nothing he’s like Mr. Blackwood. He doesn’t see how they could be the same person. Martin is so caring, and helpful, and kind, and warm, and Blackwood isn’t. Jon is so wrapped up in his frustration that he does not know Martin is blushing as he says this. Martin suddenly has to go make a cup of tea. Right then.

-The next time it’s Martin defending Jon against Blackwood. Blackwood is happy that Martin is starting to assert himself but is exasperated that it’s only occuring because of his own failed attempts to get the archive staff to trust him. He suddenly wants his own Jon to come back so badly so he can tell him how ridiculous this entire situation is. So they can laugh together at how Blackwood advanced their younger counterparts’ relationship progress by at least 3 years by accidentally becoming the villain of their story, so Jon can tease him about it.

-The third time it’s Jon once again defending Martin, saying that Blackwood went too far, that he sounds like Martin’s mother and he made him cry. Mr. Blackwood realizes that, yeah he does absolutely sound like his mum and he has to leave and reasses his actions. He hadn’t realized he was picking up her specific way of critisizing-well-himself. It’s just how he talked to himself in his own head- which- well- which wasn’t great.

-Jon is so surprised that he managed to actually get one-up on Mr. Blackwood that he takes everyone out for drinks and insists on paying. Which is a nice distraction for Martin. 

-It also, Blackwood notices, means Jon is getting closer to his archive staff and hanging out with them. It gives him a bittersweet hapiness. He’s so happy that they’re all closer in this timeline, that he managed to force Jon into socializing and Martin and Jon to get close. But he realizes he did it by being the outsider and interloper that they’re defending against, and he’s not quite part of this new group of the archive staff. He’s happy for them, just lonely. Even Sasha and Tim, who he gets along with more than Jon or Martin, are wary to trust him. He’s not telling them everything. He has to fight against Elias without the aid of spooky Eye powers and he’s unsure of when Elias is listening, so he’s not mentioning everything. He’s not telling them who killed Gertrude Robinson. He’s being evasive on the reasons he does not trust Elias, and about what power succeded at causing the apocalypse.

-As the days go by with no sign of His Jon/ Mr. Sim’s coming back his old connection to The Lonely intensifies and he becomes able to turn invisible and go by unnoticed again. The archive staff notice that he becomes spookier and sadder and- slightly less human and it decreases their trust in him.

[Check My Blog for a Part 2. I am writing this in one sitting, but this particular document has become long enough.]

[helihi]

Thoughts on RWBY Vol. 7

Quarantine day 20: I finally force myself to re watch volume 7 instead of doing my French homework.

Spoilers ahead for RWBY and How I Met Your Mother (yes).

Volume 7: The Story of a Broken Narrative Kingdom

The day has come where I finally sit down and watch the whole season again. Some of you wondered why I didn’t simply do a The Good, The Bad, and The Dirty review on the last episode of the volume like I did with the previous ones. The answer is the same reason why Ozpin’s speech at the end of the volume encapsulates the volume’s theme as a whole: finales affect the way you look at shows, comics, movies, and books. It provides a framing.

Did any of you watch How I Met Your Mother? For those of you who didn’t, it was a often called the show “which could replace Friends”. Something that you may not know is that fans of the show renamed it something among the lines of “How I should date your Aunt Robin” after the last episode aired. You see, the ending of the show changed the way most viewers see the show in the present.

The show had main character Ted Mosby narrate to his children how he met their mother. However, the story doesn’t begin during the day that encountered happen; no, it starts years before, when Ted declares he wants to settle down and find the love of his life. In that very same episode, he meets Robin Scherbatsky. In the end it’s revealed that the mother (the character we spent years speculating about) is dead (which I expected), and Ted asks his children if they give him the blessing to date their Aunt Robin. Originally, the fans could excuse episode 1 centering around Robin because it was the instance where Ted decided he wanted to settle down, but after the veil was lifted; there were no excuses, this whole story was a Ted’s way of convincing their children he should marry Robin, the main woman in his life during the whole show (even if we spend the last season on her wedding with one of Ted’s best friends).

Perhaps the ending of Volume 7 didn’t destroy the character development of 3 main characters, but it drastically changed the way I felt about the volume.

“The Kingdom of Atlas will remain safe, that’s my promise”- James Ironwood, Volume 7, Episode 1.

If you go back in my blog and read my reviews for most of the volume, you will find glowing ratings and stars. Anyone that knows me, knows that I love a good politics game in the shows/stories I read, so I was really excited when the writing team started developing that during the first half of the season.

Our gang (RWBY+JNOR+Q+M) reach Atlas after finding out that Oz is a fraud, that Salem cannot be beat (by Oz), and that Cinder almost took another maiden’s power. They quickly realize that Atlas is in a state of chaos and Ironwood is consumed by fear taking authoritarian measures, which keep the kingdom divided.

The stage is set:

 Ironwood, Winter, and the Ace Ops.

Robyn, the Happy Huntresses, and Mantle.

 Watts, Jacques, and Tyrian.

I thought the way everything was set was fantastic, I loved the political drama, and I thought the writers were taking their time properly. Even now I give huge kudos to the Schnee storyline, which is my favorite. The volume showed us how flawed Winter’s coping mechanism is, how Weiss is still susceptible to her father’s gaslighting and manipulation, and how the household isn’t just broken by Jacques (Willow apologists, pls read this).

However, the cracks started showing during the first episodes and I noted that on my reviews. We have characters used for exposition dump: from the Robyn supporter, that explains what we could’ve learned by the normal progression of the story, who gets killed as soon as he returns home, and other characters like Maria talking about Pietro while he’s standing right there.

In contrast to that, we get wonderful montages which show the passage of time. The kids interact with one another and the Ace Ops, they train, they help with Ironwood’s plan. It seems weird to have 2 different tools one after the other.

Also, it it weird for anyone that Qrow and Winter only interact 1 time during episode 2 when in Volume 3 a clear rivalry was established? Winter’s storyline was supposed to follow Penny’s, while Qrow was supposed to grow attached to Clover. Because these 2 characters had to reach a certain point in the story, they are not allowed to deviate from the interactions needed for the plot to advance.

Another thing occurred to me while re-watching the season again... Why is Ironwood so fixated in protecting Atlas when it’s floating in the air away from Grimm? Yes, we know that some Grimm can fly, but by the many times we see Mantle in chaos, you would think Ironwood would repair Mantle’s wall to keep it safe?

That’s the theme, guys, girls and nonbinary folks: a kingdom divided.

Just like the Atlas kingdom falls apart, the narrative of Volume 7 has a specific breaking point that marks the decline in quality (you can see that in my reviews). The moment everything went downhill starts in Episode 8, with the dinner at the Schnee Manor.

We spend much time developing the political tensions of the volume for Jacques to be promptly arrested and taken away from the scene in a second.

While Ironwood, Winter, Penny, and Clover are shown doing plot relevant stuff, team JNOR does that ridiculous gag to get Whitley out of Weiss’s hair.  The rest of the team do jackshit, and we don’t hear anything from them until everything is over. Again, the writers reached the plot point and forgot about everything else.

Also, Ruby looks sadly at Weiss when Whitley mentions that Klein was “let go”, yet Weiss has never talked about him to Ruby on screen. Claiming Weiss could’ve done that off screen strips away the possibilities of Weiss bonding with Ruby the same way she did with Yang when talking about their pain during Volume 5.

Such a large table, and only 4 council members, isn’t that kind of stupid? I mean, if Ironwood had 2 seats, numbers wise it makes sense, but who are those other 2 supposed to represent? Why haven’t we seen them before?

Robyn is told by Yang and Blake that Ironwood doesn't know who to trust. She proceeds to pressure him in front of people he clearly doesn’t trust. This is the first instance of OOC Robyn.

The walls crumbled, and everything became obvious as a viewer. Some other notable flaws:

Tension jojoing. The people in mantle will revolt! Except they aren’t. This happens in Episode 5, 6, and 9. The only real uprising is the last one. The other two were silly cliff hangers that make no sense when you watch the show again. (they didn’t make sense before either  and I complained).

Hey there, Watts! You may have an interesting backstory, except it’s only implied you are pissed off Penny got chosen as a major project instead of whatever yours was. Also, Paladin incident? What? If he is the main villain of the Volume, why not expand on him? I shouldn’t be surprised, Hazel and Tyrian are not that complex. And Cinder? It’s been 5 volumes and we barely know anything about her haha.

Robin! I love how civilized and smart you are when the volume started, choosing to observe and talk instead of acting against the main characters. How awful is it that you forget to keep your calm when a Serial killer is on the loose. It would be a shame if someone were to... die.

I already gave my 2 cents over Clover’s death, and I’m not going to repeat myself. I am sorry to all the Fair Game fans, I’m afraid bury your gays is till alive and well.

The nail on the coffin is the final episode: after making a speech about how Salem wants to divide people and how the only way to go is to remain united, James does the exact opposite thing the moment something doesn’t go according to plan. Don’t get me wrong, his PTSD regarding the queen chess piece was foreshadowed, but the moment team RWBY offer an explanation and identify the person behind it, he’s to far gone. Then, Salem shows up, and goes for Team RWBY when Ruby gets under her skin. This shows that Salem has a weakness and that Team RWBY can be trusted when it comes to defeating her, yet that is promptly ignored.

Also, Ironwood might be hurt about Yang and Blake talking to Robyn, but after everything, they were proven right: Robyn is to be trusted, Ironwood was making a mistake.

The whole setting up a trap to attract Tyrian wasn’t Ironwood going “mad with power” or something. Robyn knew he has lying and allowed Ironwood to catch someone who could hack everything. Not only that, but the camera zoomed in on Ironwood, so nobody could see Robyn’s handy Semblance going red. Or... maybe I’m looking too much into it and the writers expected you to forget.

Sorry, I guess James Ironwood had to take a bunch of stupid pills.

“I wish it didn’t have to end this way.” - Clover Ebi.

“It doesn’t have to, but the writers need that Branwen angst.” - Qrow Branwen.

Volume 7: Part 1 of the Atlas Arc

Have you ever heard of Checov’s gun? It is a dramatic principle that states that every element in a story must be necessary, and irrelevant elements should be removed. Elements should not appear to make "false promises" by never coming into play. Let’s play a game called the false promises of the volume that may carry over to volume 8?

Renora: Nora sides with Robin, Ren sides with Ironwood. They do not communicate with one another and the tension builds throughout the volume. They kiss, nothing gets resolved. Ren cries when Neo turns into Nora.

Training: Ren is shown to throw himself into the enemy as a flaw, he repeats the same mistake when fighting with Neo. Oscar’s Semblance is questioned, nothing comes out of it. Ruby’s Semblance is questioned, nothing comes out of it.

Cinder got beef with Atlas? For some reason, Cinder talks about Atlas hoarding power when speaking with Winter. Bitch, where the fuck do you come from? Who are you? Do I know you? Sorry, the writers forgot to write a growth arc for you. My bad.

Nora, daughter of Atlas? Can someone explain to me why she became a SWJ (/s) during this season? We never get a backstory of her previous to Kuroyuri and for some reason Nora is super attached to the people of Mantle. The daughter of Atlas title was thrown around, why?

It’s so nice to see tea FNKI back! Too bad they are there for 5 minutes and never show up again, not even when Mantle is supposed to be defended by all huntsmen. I guess this was fan service.

What’s the purpose of the Happy Huntresses? Isn’t it funny how the only one who got wounded by Tyrian is the only character who could see in the dark, but didn’t tell Robin that Penny wasn’t guilty? Hi Fiona, I don’t know why you exist.

Marrow: the butt of the joke. Since the first episodes, Marrow is shown as the outsider inside the Ace Ops: his teammates don’t take him seriously, Ironwood doesn’t think Marrow is up to the challenge of some missions, and he’s the only Faunus, the only one that seemed to sympathize with Robyn at the end. Too bad he wasn’t allowed to break his mold.

The World Building looks pretty, but it doesn't play the part.

I have to praise the art direction of this season. I was blown away by the aesthetics of Mantle clashing with Atlas, the details in the backgrounds, the world building by back messaging, screens, and posters. My favorite scene of the volume is the penguins in the tundra.

However, you have to walk the walk, and the writing team failed to deliver.

Racism: hey, I know you guys kinda messed up the White Fang’s internal struggles and opportunity to expand on Adam’s power grab and Sienna’s leadership, but maybe don’t skip the racist elements of Atlas? All we get are Faunus mine workers looking angry, that drunk dude who yelled at Blake and Marrow making a simplistic comment about politics. What...? What’s the point of acknowledging u are bad at writing racism and then do nothing about it? Did none of the new writers know how to tackle this?

In-World Continuity: Hey, wasn't the Vytal festival broadcasted to the entire world? When I saw that camera focusing on Yang on episode 1, I thought there would be a call back to what everyone saw her do during the finals, but nope. Let’s not bring that up again. ever. The only important thing about the Vytal Festival is the tower, move on.

Weapons upgrade: We were told that weapons were an extension of each huntsmen; too bad none of our gang actually work on them. Pietro makes all the modifications and repairs. I remember the bumblebee fans eager for a scene of Blake repairing Gambol Shroud, don’t tell me you’re not disappointed.

Atlas ball: not found. Hey! We have Jacques Schnee celebrating his fake victory on the elections! It would be a perfect moment to showcase the disconnect between what’s happening in Mantle and what the people in atlas thing. Too bad we didn’t wanna make extra character models.

--

Closing thoughts

I wanted to re watch the whole season again to see if the bitterness left on my lips after watching that chaotic finale went away, but it only grew. There are so many character choices that made no sense, so many scenes where characters stood around in the background doing nothing.

WHY THE FUCK DID OZPIN ONLY APPEAR AT THE END?

Oh, I’ll tell you why: he needed to give a speech about themes to justify the stupidity that happened during the last episodes to get to that cliff hanger.

I am disappointed in volume that seemed to be doing so good at the begging, but hey... at this point we shouldn’t be surprised, should we? Interestingly enough, the people who dreamed about the ball and the scenes of Blake fixing Gambol Shroud grew quiet after the episodes aired... 

Almost as if criticism wasn’t allowed on the RWBY tag.

AN: The titty window isn’t justified Salem, your ex is now a child that’s PEDO—

[foolgobi65]

im not sure if any of this is coherent but i just have to get thoughts out of my head and then i can focus on the other piles of work i have lol so here goes nothing. (i know my passion for lucifer has become near meme status for all of my friends, none of whom actually watch the show but w/e) 

anyways, i’ve been mulling over the reason why chloe seems to feel like its so important that lucifer say the words “i love you” now -- not “you are my first love” which he’s said in the past, and not showing that he loves her through his actions which he clearly is doing. i think that, beyond just being a source of narrative/relationship tension, there’s actually two things at play in regards to not only her own characterization but how she’s interacted with lucifer over the course of the show and how that relationship has been different from those she’s had with her other significant others over the seasons. 

at her core, i think chloe is looking for honesty from her partners, however that manifests. chloe’s two romantic partners outside of lucifer were dan and marcus, both whom while with her lied pretty significantly. dan’s improved a lot, but in season one he was not only gaslighting her but also was just a generally shitty partner who actively tried to crush chloe’s stellar instincts that led her to pursue the truth and justice at all costs. marcus, who to chloe seemed so simple and easy and emotionally honest about wanting to be with her, turned out to be a crime lord that was willing to kill chloe to escape with his life. (we don’t know if chloe knows how he was manipulating her throughout their relationship in order to lose his immortality.) with both of these men, even when chloe thought they were honest, i don’t actually think she would have valued their just saying that they love her without other proof of their feelings for her. 

in contrast, chloe has lucifer, who never lies (he just doesn’t always tell the whole truth.) i think there’s two parts to this as well, one being lucifer’s own dishonesty when it comes to his actions versus what he says, and the second being the fact that when push comes to shove, he doesn’t lie. for about a season and a half, poor chloe spends time with a lucifer who shows every indication that he’s in love with her but refuses to say it. he kisses her, tells her he’s not worthy of her, asks her if what they have is real, then runs away to vegas and gets married, coming back and insisting that he and chloe are just friends. he throws her a prom, but they don’t kiss. constantly she’s stuck while he pushes her away and then comes back, only to push her away again (thanks season 3!!) lucifer never lies, but he does bluff and he bluffs a lot for a pretty serious amount of time during which chloe can really do nothing except try and fail to get over him. the flip to this, is that when lucifer speaks, he does tell the truth -- whatever that means in that moment. when lucifer tells chloe that he loves her, she’ll know that he means it, full stop. of course she can tell because of his actions, but he’s also acted like he’s loved her for years now, and for much of that he was insisting he didn’t. we know that this means that lucifer really has loved chloe all this time, but even if chloe knows that now, for years she’s had to accept that he didn’t, or even if he did he didn’t love her enough to want to tell her and to be with her. what she needs from him is stability, and certainty, and i think in this case that certainty will only come from lucifer saying those words to her clearly. 

part of this also, i think, is rooted in her actual relationship with lucifer over the years, rooted for both of them in their own individual troubles with self worth. obviously we know about lucifer, but we meet chloe as a really isolated person who doesn’t have really any friends outside of lucifer who she gets closer to as the first season progresses -- lucifer, who eventually she names as the only person she can be vulnerable with. her relationship with her mom is fraught, she’s been ostracized by her department, and she’s separated from a husband who’s constantly telling her to ignore her instincts and just keep her head down for her own good. meanwhile lucifer tells her from the start that she’s smart, that the others are threatened, that she should trust herself. in court and on the beach he says that she’s truly good. a few times he says that she’s beautiful, and you can see how she glows from that compliment that i think she’d brush off from anyone else, because she knows that he never lies. chloe’s network eventually expands (though its notable that almost all, if not all, of these friends are people she meets through or knows alongside lucifer) but i think that for both chloe and lucifer they are each other’s “person,” regardless of their romantic relationship or lack thereof. they know each other, more than anyone else does because they are the other person’s best (and at times only) friend. all of this means that it’s not just chloe who is capable of loving the real lucifer, but lucifer who loves the real chloe, all the parts that she hides along with the parts other people wishes she’d hide. i think a lot of her freakout in season 4 was related in part to this primal insecurity she has, her own idea of how she can’t possibly be good enough, or worth it for lucifer when the life he leads seems so different from hers. this season she’s gained some clarity re: her own unique capacity to see lucifer and now has proof of his own feelings for her through his manifesting of his vulnerability, but we can see that she’s still worried that he can’t possibly feel the same way about her that she does him. which, to be fair, is how he left her feeling for 1.5 seasons, and then depending on how you see the progression of her feelings for him in season 4, for maybe like 1/4 to a half of that season as well. poor chloe’s spent a really long time in love with lucifer, and thinking that he couldn’t possibly love her back, (while lucifer felt the exact same way rip) so to me at least it makes sense that she needs confirmation that finally lucifer knows every bit of her and loves her despite it, even because of it. and for chloe in this case, that confirmation can only come if he says the words. 

(the reason why she probably doesn’t count the balcony confession before he left for hell is just that i think its clear she’s worried that his feelings have changed, or that the reality of the relationship has shown lucifer that having chloe is not the same as wanting her. she knows he loves her, i just really think that she’s known in some way that he’s loved her for a long time but also had to tell herself that he didn’t. part of what she was probably telling herself was that he couldn’t love her, that she was too boring and plain for someone like lucifer to love beyond the parameters of friendship. in almost every way, it feels like  chloe and lucifer are the same when it comes to how they understand matters of their heart -- both of them need to know that what they have is real, that they are worthy of being loved, and that they are deeply, truly loved by a person who knows them for every part of who they really are.) 

sorry this was so circuitous, i think i said the same thing like 15 times just slightly rephrased but its really late lmao. hope it makes sense! 

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh S3 Ep 36-37: Local Mom-Friend’s Weird Trick, Doctors Hate Him

Hey y’all it’s a surprise midweek post because I’m in Canada this weekend woo. Surprised I even got this post done, TBH, I finally get some time where I’m not commuting around to and from San Francisco or corralling small children and I can just sit at my computer and focus and have some peace and quiet and I got--a mysterious sickness from all those kids! *yay* So, since I can’t really focus on anything, I’ll type in here and see if any of my words make any sense at all and hopefully I won’t go on some weird ass tangent like I tend to do like every other post.

So Yugi is still dueling Kaiba, much like he has for the past like...it feels like 4 years. I know I’ve only seen 3 seasons but this is...this is a really long duel. Maybe because there was a month-long break for me in the middle, (during which I watched the entirety of Evangelion, 2 Seasons of Gotham, Stranger Things S3, and the disappointing season of One Punch Man so like...I’ve had some time away from Yugioh) or maybe...maybe it’s because they’re actually playing card mechanics that go more in depth...

But yeah, despite everything, they’re still dueling.

And honestly, I’m looking at that episode number above me and it’s like...so there’s this Kaiba and Yugi Duel and then...only one more duel, right? Is it going to be a ten episode duel? Like unless Rebecca comes back for a weird cameo like...how...?

Whatever, we’ll get there when we get there.

Anyways, everyone who’s been avoiding this duel like the plague is down with the plague victims in the hospital. That’s where Tristan gets a bright idea and it’s one of his dumber ones, believe it or not.

Man, I forgot that comatose Joey Wheeler is still wearing that duel disk Pharaoh slapped on him during all this too, haha.

Also, why does he have to have all these pectoral suction cups while they just kinda...gave up on Mai? I mean I know they can’t show boobies on a Y7 show but like...it really feels like the doctor just kinda shrugged at Mai and was like “I only have one set of boob suction cups, I really didn’t think I’d need more than that, if at all.”

(read more under the cut)

And so Tristan decides that if Joey is at the window which is like...600 ft below Yugi Muto’s duel, a duel you can’t...really see from the ground...then Joey Wheeler will arise.

I mean, it’s gonna work, it’s just also kind of laughable that Joey wasn’t able to hear any of this nonsense from the bed that is two feet away from the window.

But wtv, it’s very dramatic and Tristan gets to cry some more and feel useful I guess.

The haunted underwear mannequin plot-thread was dumped between that episode and this one, and I’m kinda bummed out that more things haven’t turned into haunted underwear mannequins.

Instead of horrific underwear mannequins, Joey’s dream has gone back to the standard fare of Joey picking on middle schoolers and wearing a much better outfit than he has for most of this show.

I will super miss Joey in a fitted suit. Like, soak it allll in horny preteens, because pretty soon, Joey Wheeler will be back in that scruffy oversized T-shirt just like...well, just like how a teenager would be. I mean there’s some REASONS Mai can’t date Joey, but the fact he has a fitted suit he refuses to ever wear is one of the top reasons right under, youknow, the fact he’d need a fake ID to ever go out with her.

It’s kind of amazing actually, how my whole life I kinda just figured this was a show of insane character designs, only to find out when I actually watch the show that there is like a ... REALLY horny line just going all the way through it.

Honestly, me trying to figure out how and when this kid’s show got so damn horny has been a very big mystery I’ve been trying to solve in the background this entire time. Like, I was told “yeah the Yugioh boys get very attractive.” and I was like “ehhhhhhhh I don’t even know what you’re talking about” but, little by little over the past 3 seasons, these animators are starting to draw these boys just waaaaaaay older than these kids actually are. I’m starting to see what people are saying. It’s still not my thing, personally, but uh yeah I can see how this spawned all that fanart now.

Anyways, speaking of, the other day a friend of mine’s sister was talking about how she, as a millennial, has been wired to love very tall skinny boys in skinny pants and very long coats with popped collars and I immediately was like “Lol are you admitting to Seto Kaiba?”

And she meant Cumberbatch Sherlock, LOLOLOLOL.

And so, back on the duel field we got Seto Kaiba, who’s a lot like Sherlock except a Sherlock who is suffering from both short term and long term memory loss. And, who does cards instead of heroin.

They probably both play violin.

Kaiba, despite having arc after arc where his little brother is his main motivation, has decided to just ditch Mokuba and it’s like...either he’s psyching Yugi out or Seto Kaiba forgot he had a brother for a little bit. He might...he might have forgotten. Mokuba is standing behind him, after all.

And so, because Joey is facing Yugi at just the right moment and at just the right time, somehow he can do his little force ability again and just do this:

Thanks, hallucination!Joey.

And out he goes, drawn like a romance anime character lol.

Anyways, he’s back to being a slob so...welcome back, wrinkle shirt, it’s been a while.

And then Joey looks around and actually said this:

“Did someone get hurt?” He asks, after being burned, electrocuted AND drowned just yesterday.

I was kinda very much hoping Tristan would deck him out.

Glad that, as predicted, the moment Mai doesn’t need to be Joey’s main motivation anymore, the moment he puts the cards away, she may as well not even exist. This show and the way they write straight romances.

Please admire the matching lace up boots on the Kaiba Corp’s Emergency Squad. This would be the most obscure Cosplay on earth but maybe the most wearable Yugioh cosplay outside of Bandit Keith because you wouldn’t need a 400 dollar wig.

And then for some reason Tea just loses her mind and has a complete breakdown. She’s been kind of a mess since Yugi walked out like 2 episodes ago, which seems kind of...I dunno, both out of character but very much in character at the same time. I mean we’re assuming they “have” a relationship it’s just never actually say that they do, so her acting like her man is dead is kinda like...it still feels like it comes out of freakin nowhere.

Anyways, Tea who is strong enough to lift this entire plane and who is, in fact, possessed by at least 2 powerful ghosts (remember Shadi did spends some time there and he did NOT like it), is now a seeping crying mess that refuses to lose any more of her hospital-prone boys.

I mean they were going to go anyway, but they let Tea pretend she had any control over that and kind of glazed over this.

Back in this game that no one else is really watching anymore, Seto Kaiba is still monologuing about his entire life story that he’s never gotten any therapy for, except for that time his evil step brother accidentally gave him therapy.

Quite upset we never see the color of Mokuba’s little tuxedo.

Course...didn’t...Noah wear a little tuxedo in that same exact shape? I mean it’s a silly headcanon but youknow...it could be a yellow tuxedo they just happened to find in the back of the closet.

And it’s at this point that Mokuba just lost his lid. I’m so used to Mokuba unconditionally supporting his crazy brother that this would have been the biggest anime betrayal of the whole series, if Mokuba had said any of this outloud (which he wisely did not).

It was like...damn Mokuba. He actually said something along the lines of “I liked you better when you were poor” and it was like. Holy cow, Mokuba. Damn.

Anyway, a bunch of card stuff happens, and Pharaoh has decided that Seto has too much anger in his heart, and that’s why he will lose. Then, Pharaoh played the card proof for how angry Seto is, and if I actually payed any attention to cards, it would have been very meaningful.

But anyways, kudos to Pharaoh on not mind-wiping Seto Kaiba this time or launching him directly off this very tall tower like he attempted to do last time. They actually played a game start to finish with eachother and nothing exploded except for every television in Domino. Progress.

and then Mokuba started crying and initially I thought...wouldn’t he have WANTED his brother to lose but then I kind of remembered oh yeah now Mokuba has to deal with this oncoming aftermath.

RIP Mokuba, I guess.

Anyway, I’m out of town for the rest of the weekend, escaping to the far North to get away from the weather. I should be back next weekend, but if I’m not, I was probably eaten by a bear. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Anyway, if you just got here, this is a link to my Yugioh recaps in Chrono order from the beginning.

[stokan]

The Top 20 Things of 2019

1. “Shallow” at The Oscars How can something be so anticipated, so hyped, so seemingly bigger than the freaking Oscars themselves, and yet still somehow exceed all expectations? We now know the answer: by completely subverting them. That’s why it makes perfect sense that the greatest moment of Lady Gaga’s career would be the simplest one. Her and Bradley Cooper simply standing up from their seats still gives me chills every time I watch it (and I’ve watched it A LOT). And the close up on their faces needs to be shown in sex ed classes.

If I could travel back in time, sure going back to kill baby Hitler would be great, but mostly I’d just want to go back to the exact second the curtain starts to raise on this performance, before I knew where it was headed next.

2. Olivia Colman winning Best Actress at The Oscars If you think it’s weird that there are two separate things from the same awards show on my list of the top things from the entire year, then, well, you’ve come to the wrong place.

This is the absolute platonic ideal of someone winning an Oscar. Our genuine shock at hearing their name, THEIR genuine shock at hearing their name, the genuine emotion from everyone involved, a speech that is heartfelt, human, funny, and charming in a way that only a true star could ever dream of being, all in equal measure. And it’s all part of a YouTube clip you can watch endlessly and find new things every time. (Glenn Close’s reaction when she loses is like an entire drama in and of itself.) Sure awards shows may be dumb, but then also, this is why they’re not.

3. Sharon Van Etten - “Seventeen” in advance of this year’s Oscars I just want to be on record that my favorite movie from 2019 about aging, feeling that life is passing you by, grappling with mortality, the passage of time, and the generation coming up behind you is Closing My Eyes And Listening To “Seventeen” By Sharon Van Etten. It has it all: the creeping melancholy and regret, the sense of doom that you try to dance away, the feeling that the past was maybe just a dream, the urge to yell into an increasingly uncaring void.

Part of the curse of aging is everyone becoming their own Casandra. Now you know, but no one will listen. And part of the joy of aging is realizing it doesn’t really matter if they do.

4. The writing on Succession

“Proof that, as long as the writing is there, TV doesn’t need to be anything more than people having conversations in rooms.” - theringer.com

I have a rule with these year end lists that I can’t feature something I’ve listed in a previous year. But it’s actually illegal to write about the best of 2019 without mentioning Succession. So I’m going to get around my self-imposed rule by this year specifically highlighting the writing on the show.

The amazing thing about Succession is how watchable it is not despite, but almost BECAUSE of the fact that not much actually happens. People talk a lot about things they are GOING to do, or MIGHT do, but there’s not a ton of actual DOING. And that’s actually great, because what we’re really here for is the talking. Every character talks with the biting wit of an Armando Iannucci character, the deep intelligence of an Aaron Sorkin character, and the realism of an actual human being. I find myself constantly rewinding just to make sure I took in the brilliance of each dialogue exchange. And literally every line Kieran Culkin is given to say would be the best line of the entire season on 90% of the shows on TV.

Everyone talks about how great the acting on Succession is, and rightly so, but actors are nothing without good words to say. And on Succession, to paraphrase a president of the United States that I’m sure ACN would love, they have the best words.

5. The chemistry of Kaitlyn Dever and Beanie Feldstein in Booksmart My favorite movie of 2017 was Lady Bird. My favorite movie of 2018 was Eighth Grade. So suffice it to say I was well prepared for how much I loved Booksmart. But what I was not prepared for at all was the incredible chemistry of two actors I had previously never even heard of before: Kaitlyn Dever and Beanie Feldstein. It feels impossible that the two of them aren’t real-life best friends. Life-long friendship is such a specific bond it feels impossible to fake, and yet somehow Kaitlyn and Beanie pulled the magic trick off. Experiencing the giddy contact high of their chemistry felt like being in the presence of a miracle. And anyone who says the romantic comedy is dead clearly didn’t see Booksmart, because maybe the best romantic comedy of the decade was the story of two people realizing the deepest, purest, most unique love of all can sometimes be the love you have for your best friend.

6. Fleabag Season 2 What on earth is there left to say about Fleabag that hasn’t already been said? And yet somehow even with all the discourse about this show it has still maintained its status as the rare cultural phenomenon with a 100% approval rating. To be as massive and as beloved as Fleabag and yet inspire zero backlash, not even a stray contrarian take from an online troll, feels impossible, and yet also, in the case of Fleabag, totally right. If (the now VERY problematic) Louie was the beginning of giving people money to make their idiosyncratic, personal, not-quite a drama not-quite a comedy TV shows, then Fleabag is the end. The apex of the art form. There’s nowhere to go from here but down. 2019 was the year television finally peaked. It was the year we all witnessed perfection. And it was the year that we fittingly all had a priest to guide us there.

7. Chelsea Peretti’s monologue at the WGA Awards Ironic that the year that proved that awards shows don’t need hosts is also the same year that gave maybe the best example ever of what a great awards show host can do. Chelsea goes so far inside baseball it gives new meaning to the phrase “corker”, and it’s all the better for it.

8. Vampire Weekend - Father of the Bride If you don’t think Father of the Bride is the best album of 2019 then congrats on not being a late-30s straight white man. But as a late-30s straight white man myself I’ve got two big things going for me:

1.) A life that has benefited from a history of privilege and near-total control over society stretching from the beginnings of civilization up until today 2.) An understanding that Father of the Bride is the best album of 2019

But what about Bon Iver and Wilco and The National and Sturgill Simpson and Big Thief, didn’t they all put out albums for late-30s straight white men this year you ask? To which I say: did any of those albums have a song on them called “Unbearably White”? No they did not! And that sort of ironic self-awareness is the kind of shit that has fueled a million straight white male sketch comedy scenes. It is the air we breathe. Also, have you heard “Harmony Hall” lately? Or “This Life”? Or “Stranger”? I mean, come on, leaving Brooklyn to make your “settled down in LA” album is the sort of late-30s straight white guy catnip James Murphy could only DREAM ABOUT. I may not have much these days, other than unlimited power and privilege, but at least I will always have Vampire Weekend, and they will always have me.

9. Lizzo Every year there is one thing that defines the year. One thing that 50 years in the future when someone mentions that year, it will be the first thing that pops into everyone’s head. And in America for 2019 that thing will be the impeachment of Donald Trump. But if there is a second thing, then it’s Lizzo. She was there when the year started, only got bigger as the year progressed and was arguably still getting more popular as the year ended. And she was everywhere. She was on massive stages and behind tiny desks. She was at the movies, she was on TV, she was coming out of every open car window. And she was definitely at every wedding you went to this year. Lizzo WAS 2019.

With the impeachment of Donald Trump I don’t know how far down the presidential line of succession we have to go before we get to Lizzo, but I know we would all be better off if we would hurry up and get there. Lizzo is the best of us.

10. This picture of Baby Yoda 

Ok I was wrong. Take everything I said about Lizzo and double it for This Picture Of Baby Yoda (you know the one, or if you don’t, click the link above). On the wikipedia entry for the year 2019 that definitely needs to be the picture. 

11. Kodi Lee on America’s Got Talent I realize you probably weren’t sitting around watching America’s Got Talent this summer. I certainly wouldn’t have been if I hadn’t happened to be working the live show tapings. But lemme tell you, if you didn’t see the show, you missed out on something truly magical this year. Something that makes you rethink what human beings are capable of. Something that goes so far beyond inspirational that I don’t think our language has a word to fully express it. Kodi Lee is a real life superhero, and provoking emotion is his superpower. Making it thru a full Kodi Lee performance without crying should be the new Turning Test. Forget America; Humans Have Talent indeed.

12. Taylor Swift - “Cruel Summer” Look I didn’t expect to ever find another “Teenage Dream”, but, well, here we are. I mean, a Taylor Swift single produced by Jack Antonoff and co-written by Annie Clark is pretty much genetically engineered to be one of my favorite things ever, but still: wow. Do the kids still use the term “banger”? Because if so, this is why the term was invented. I would have more to say about how great the rest of Lover is as well, but sorry, I gotta go now. I have to listen to “Cruel Summer” for the eight millionth time.

13. Michelle Williams in Fosse/Verdon If there was an award for best acting performance in any medium this would be the clear winner for 2019. In fact, can you win an EGOT for one single performance? What about a Nobel Prize? I can’t come up with an award or a title big enough to truly honor Michelle Williams’ work in Fosse/Verdon.

As a fellow actor very rarely a performance will come along that will make me think: ok we’re done here. Let’s all the rest of us pack it up and go home, because someone just won acting. This is one of those performances. So congrats to Dame Michelle Williams, you’re the new Pope.

14. American Factory My favorite line in all of Shakespeare is “there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so”. And nothing is evidence of that more than the piece of art I have thought about most this year: the documentary American Factory (available on Netflix right now!). So many of the things we in western societies believe are universal bedrock virtues and value are in fact simply products of the society in which we were raised. Individualism, personal expression, autotomy, the importance of leisure time, and so many other things, are not absolute human values, only relative ones. What is important to someone in America, can be ridiculous and incomprehensible to someone in China. And vice versa. And neither side is right or wrong, only thinking makes it so.

American Factory is documentary that doesn’t say WHAT IF EVERYTHING YOU THOUGHT YOU KNEW WAS WRONG, but instead shows something that is perhaps even more powerful: what if everything you know is simply just that, a thing you know.

15. White Claw Life is an endless parade of infinite options, possibilities, and choices. So I have no idea how you personally chose to spend your 2019. With one exception: I Know What You Did Last Summer. You drank an alcoholic seltzer water. Probably many of them, but at least one. At a park, at a beach, in a backyard, definitely at a party. If at some point this summer your paws weren’t wrapped around a White Claw (or a similar product) then you didn’t actually experience 2019. Because this is the year we all collectively got obsessed with combining America’s two hottest drink trends: flavored sparkling water and…hold on, lemme look up the name of this stuff…alcohol?

History may record summer 2019 as Hot Girl Summer, but those us who actually lived it know the truth: it was Hard Seltzer Summer

16. Marriage Story A movie that fundamentally misunderstands things I care about deeply - theater, Los Angeles, how the entertainment industry works - is my favorite movie of the year because of how deeply it gets right the thing I care about most: human beings. The way we talk, the way we behave, the way we love, the way we hurt, the way we create bonds that never fully go away. It’s been said a lot, but part of the beauty and magic of this movie is that it doesn’t take sides. Both people are right and both of them are wrong. And that’s how human relationships often work in real life, but rarely in art. There are no heroes, there are no villains; there’s only being alive.


(Also, Adam Driver, Imma let you finish, but Raul Esparza doing “Being Alive” is one of my favorite YouTube clips of ALL TIME. If you ever need to weep uncontrollably and you don’t have time to watch Marriage Story, then Raul Esparza’s “Being Alive” will do the trick)

17. Lil Nas X - “Old Town Road” “What kind of music do you like” used to be a very important question. Your sense of identity used to be defined by the type of music you listened to and what that choice said about you. But now music-as-cultural-signifier is as dead as the concept of owning music itself. Rap music is for elementary school kids. Country music is made by queer black Americans collaborating with Dutch teenagers. Billy Ray Cyrus and Korean pop stars appear on remixes of the same song. A song about an old road and an antiquated mode of travel becomes a massive hit thru the brand new music app TikTok. What kind of music do we like in 2019? All of the “kinds” of music at once, in one marvelously inescapable two minute burst of joy. Music is dead; long live music.

18. Chernobyl If you thought it was crazy that the year’s biggest song was a novelty country/hip-hop track by an unsigned artist rapping about trying to find parking for his horse, then wait until you find out what the summer’s biggest hit TV show was about! I mean, nothing screams “summer fun” like nuclear radiation and shooting dogs. But as always, no one ever truly knows what people will want until you give it to them. And clearly what we really wanted in our LOL Nothing Matters age was a captivating reminder that life on earth truly could end at any moment. Some things very much DO matter. And that something as dramatic, devastating, and consequential as Chernobyl could have happened in the fairly recent past and already have been largely forgotten about is incredible. But if you can take such a compelling story and tell it as well as the makers of Chernobyl did, then people will watch and learn and better understand an issue of vital importance, no matter how seemingly uncommercial it might be. So in a very 2019 sentence: thank you creator of the the Hangover franchise for your miniseries about a 1980 Russian power plant explosion. It was our collective summer obsession. (2019 was a weird year.)

19. Raphael Bob-Waksberg - Someone Who Will Love You In All You Damaged Glory

“I think about how loving someone is kind of like being president, in that it doesn’t change you, not really. But it brings out more of the you that you already are.”

Back in the day, Raphael Bob-Waksberg had a tumblr that was so good it both single-handedly inspired me get much better and writing my thoughts and putting them on the internet (thus what you are reading right now) and intimidated me out of doing it more often (why I now do this only once a year). In fact, I’m almost positive I had his tumblr listed as one of my top things of a year in the past, which is really the highest honor a tumblr account can receive. It was one of the single most impactful forces in the direction of my creative life. And now Raphael has taken the voice that created that tumblr and created my favorite TV show (BoJack Horseman) and wrote my favorite ever Craigslist post, and used it to create a book about love and loss and being human. And it feels like a wonderful treasure that was written just for me. It IS my worldview, expressed better than I ever possibly could. When I meet people now rather than doing the usual introductory small talk I am just going to hand them a copy of this book.

20. The New One - Mike Birbiglia Speaking of art that felt deeply personal to me…just hearing even a rough outline of the story Mike Birbiglia tells in The New One was enough to start me on a path of perhaps reconsidering one of my most deeply held beliefs. By talking about parenthood in a refreshingly honest and shockingly open way, he is able to possibly change lives. I know finally actually seeing the show in person (and it’s now available on Netflix) felt like a possible turning point in mine. Is it theater? Is it standup? Does it matter? Here’s what there are no questions about: it’s hilarious and deeply felt and perfectly constructed. It’s an absolute master class in story telling. And it’s my favorite thing I saw this year.

[jordan202]

Hi Jordan, I read your review and I'm interested in why you dislike the Betty and Leo storyline and particularly the borderline illegality of it. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

Hey, thanks for the message! Ok, so let me take this from the start.

These kids came onto the show in a moment where Owen had decided on a whim to do something for himself (adopt a kid) right after he came back from a trip he also decided to take on a whim. While we know that wanting to be a father has been a long time arc for Owen and that he has considered adoption before, it seemed way too much that in only a few hours he would make this decision without carefully considering it. But okay, I get it, sometimes we do impulsive things (although at the time, Owen was hitting on this button quite often and it obviously wasn’t working out).

It is my understanding that Owen’s dream has never been solely to have a child, but rather a family. But sometimes, regardless of how much we want something, or we work hard for something, it just doesn’t work the way we want to. So I get why Owen decided to do this. But I rejected this fostering/adopting idea from the start because I never truly wanted Owen to do this on his own, because I know it’s not what’s going to make him fully happy (proof of that is how happy he was when Amelia was there sharing everything with him).

 If there wasn’t an alternative, if I didn't like Amelia as a choice for him, I think I would be okay with the idea, but it’s always been clear to me that Amelia shares the same desire and goals as him. They have done this dance so many times, that I had allowed myself to hope that when they finally made it, they would be together doing it. So to have Owen decide to do this without Amelia just broke my heart. It became especially sour after Teddy’s pregnancy, because it felt like the show is just torturing us. Owen (and Amelia) wanted this so much and for so long, and they are finally getting to have it but in a totally f***ed up manner (fostered kids who aren’t going to be there for long, a child outside their relationship, etc). 

Having Owen foster a child and unknowingly lull Amelia back into the house also disappointed me because I expected the show to eventually dig into why the idea of being a mom is at the same time so appealing and so scary for Amelia. Like, truly do that.  They used Amelia’s tumor as a tool to justify her behavior, but the tumor didn’t erase or change her trauma or her feelings. They are still very much there (in the scene where she tells Owen about her son that becomes quite obvious) so I wished that the path the show had taken to get to this point wasn’t one where Owen adopted a child on his own and Amelia got involved later. They shouldn’t be skipping any steps. And I knew from the start that if the decision wasn’t mutual (either adopt a child together or conceive one) but they got together anyway, later on it could cause problems. When one of them said “Betty is mine and Leo is yours” or something similar, which at the time seemed innocent and cute, the idea behind it hit me hard, because there shouldn’t be a division of roles/responsibilities or sides to be taken. I thought that the same thing that lead the way for a reunion could also potentially be the source of a lot of friction. I wanted them on the same side, and not antagonizing each other. That added to my discontent with this story. 

But there are some other aspects too. If Owen had taken Leo in and Amelia hadn’t gotten involved, I doubt the experience would have felt as good to him as it did with her there. So parting ways with the baby might have been easier? I don't know. Hard to tell. But then again, maybe if it weren’t for Amelia, Betty (and her parents) would never be there either and by now, Owen could have adopted Leo. But I have a feeling that fatherhood wouldn’t have been as pleasing to Owen as it was with Leo without Amelia there. Because once she is there, the dream is complete. The family is formed. So it’s much easier to get attached, making it even harder to let go.

Ok, so along came Betty, and while the idea of a happy bubbly family seemed appealing to some at first, it felt very contrived to me. I understand why Amelia would want to help someone like Betty, but I remember saying this before: since Amelia still isn’t one hundred percent okay with her past, doing this had the potential to hurt her more than she realized. I understand the desire to help someone, especially if someone who is danger and very few people could help, but you can’t help someone at your own expense. There were lots of ways that Amelia could have gotten involved. The show could have had Amelia help Betty all the same without taking her home and acting like a mother to her. In some way, it even felt to me like maybe Amelia was punishing herself for what she did to her mother by putting herself in the exact same situation (hence why I think she is not 100% resolved with her past, she still needs to have some conversations, apologize to some, say her piece, forgive people too).  Do you know when someone you care about is about to do something they shouldn’t, and you know they are, but you can’t stop them? That’s how I felt watching Amelia (and Owen) in this situation. I knew Owen would get attached before eventually losing the baby, and he’d resent everyone for it. I knew Amelia would get too personally involved and project herself into Betty (which doesn’t help Betty or herself). So it’s not something I enjoyed seeing.

When this storyline first started, I had the feeling that it would take perhaps 4-5 episodes. And that by the time Betty and Leo left – and Owen got devastated – he’d learn about Teddy’s baby (which would serve as some kind of comfort) and the drama would be about him choosing to be with the woman he loves (Amelia) or choosing to maybe try and create with Teddy the situation he’d just started building with Amelia.

But for some reason, the show decided to leave Betty and Leo there, and put them in the central spotlight of Owen and Amelia’s relationship. Ever since these two got together, we have never been able to experience a prolonged period of time in which we could watch them functioning as a couple. Especially not when they were living together. I feel like I got robbed of that. The show cheated. I had to endure fast forwards on both times. And now that we are finally watching Owen and Amelia live together through the course of the season, it’s not the same, because by having Leo and Betty there, the dynamics are different. Owen and Amelia have another thing in common other than the feelings they have for each other. I have always wished for them to have kids, but you gotta have roots before branches you know? They needed more time to solidify themselves as a couple after the whole tumor/divorce mess, to acknowledge between themselves that the feelings and the entire foundation of their relationship/marriage was real and be convinced that they have what it takes to face the world, to actually see things coming their way and deal with them so that they knew their relationship can survive altercations (which honestly is something they hadn’t dealt with before, everything that seemed to torn them apart in the past). 

But Betty and Leo were there, fine, nothing I could do about it. And for 8 episodes, we got to see some cute Omelia moments, but also too many moments devoted to Betty and Leo that could have been used to make Owen and Amelia rediscover that what brought them together in the first place wasn’t the result of impulsive decisions, but rather the amazing depth of what they share.

And as things progressed and we got here, I watched on my screen a lot of absolutely unrealistic developments in one storyline alone. We’ve had a LOT of retcons and absurd things happening on the show ever since KV arrived (the explanation for Megan’s storyline, Jo’s abusive husband storyline, that intern getting a Swiss visa in one day, etc), and I know that TV shows don’t have to mirror life 100%, but to me, no storyline can beat Betty/Leo’s when it comes to disregarding real life completely. And that is another aspect of it that has nothing to do with Omelia, but really makes me reject the plot. I can take one or two things being inaccurate (as a doctor who watches the show, I constantly have to overlook inaccuracies, and that’s fine). But when they are excessive like this and change reality so much, it kind of makes me feel like the showrunners think I am an idiot. It becomes a fantasy series, not a drama series.

I honestly couldn’t list all the absurd and inconsistencies in this single storyline, but it’s hard to accept that Owen would so easily qualify as a foster parent, and that he’d get Leo in such a short notice. I have the feeling that when the writers had Betty tell her story last year, they genuinely meant for it to be as she told it. Which makes this whole “it turns out she was lying all the time” one of the worst retcons in the show. It put Betty in a situation where she went from lost teenager who instilled sympathy to psychopathic teenager who lied and felt no remorse even when she was sober and had more than enough time to consider the repercussions of her actions and witness the damage she could do to the people she was growing close to. I think if the show had left some hints, some traces for us to think that, hey, “perhaps Betty is lying” it would be easier to accept this twist in the story. But by rewriting everything she said, they just made her a lot harder to empathize to, and this whole storyline much harder to buy than it already was.

Because, really, am I supposed to believe that a 13 year old who got reported missing by her parents (they said they were looking for her) would give birth to a baby, provide for a baby in the streets, have the baby taken from her by a social worker, have the child put in the system, get “fostered” by an adult (who btw, wasn’t listed to be a foster parent to begin with), actually GET ENROLLED and attend a school, and not once in this whole process anyone would ever bother to check a list/description of missing children to find her parents/family? They would just take her word for it?  Am I supposed to believe that throughout this entire process, not once someone asked Betty to identify herself, and when she couldn’t (since she is using a fake name), the social workers wouldn’t bother checking for a matching description or picture of missing kids to at least contact her biological family? Betty wasn’t only a daughter, she was also a part of a community. She attended a school, played soccer. It’s hard to believe she would have just disappeared under everyone’s noses like that. It had been my understanding so far that Betty/Leo are only in the system because the authorities judged her family unfit to take care of her (and that they’d done it themselves after checking the facts) but after the bomb of Betty’s lie, I just came to the conclusion that this whole storyline is a series of rewritten, changed, modified absurds. 

[fandammit]

so, I finished the entire series of ODAAT in like 2 days, and now alvareider has taken over me and I can’t stop reading your fics, they’re amazing! Do you think they’re slowly setting alvareider up for a slow burn?

First off, welcome to the Alvareider fandom!!! We're a small but scrappy bunch! Secondly, thanks so much! I keep trying to write shorter stuff but everything keeps turning out to be these, like, epics haha.

In terms of the show, I do think that they're setting them up for a super slow burn (like I would be shocked if they got together sooner than like mid season 4 and YES I BELIEVE IN MY HEART WE ARE GETTING SIX SEASONS AND A MOVIE Y’ALL).

The show starts off by telling us exactly what Penelope wants: She wants someone to do this with -- family dinners, inside jokes, sharing a look when the kids are being crazy. She wants a partner -- someone to give you a hug and say I got you. 

With Schneider, we aren’t necessarily treated to a monologue about what he wants or needs, but we see hints of it. We know that he grew up a lonely child, so he spends time with his tenants because he never wants them to feel alone. We also know that his family was emotionally absent, so he learns Spanish and spends time with the Alvarez’s because he wants to feel like a member of the family. 

Penelope wants a partner, while Schneider simply wants to be wanted -- we might even say he wants to feel needed. And not for how he can benefit someone -- which I think has probably been the majority of his relationships, specifically with his stepmoms -- but simply for who he is as an individual. I believe that the show has taken great care to show how they provide exactly what the other needs. 

(More under the cut because this got long)

First off, the reason I think it has to be a slowburn is because -- as I said in this twitter thread -- they need to spend time deepening his character a bit more so that Penelope can see him as an equal and a partner and because Schneider does need to grow up a little bit. I do think, however, that the show has already begun this process.

Episode 4 -- when Penelope starts online dating -- is one of the, if not the, first times she’s ever gone to him for advice and it’s about something relatively innocuous and superficial. She asks his help for something superficial that she thinks he can help her with. But this progresses -- later on in the season, she goes to him when Elena comes out to her -- a sign that she values his opinion on deeper issues. This continues on in season 2, when we see her go to him more and more to tackle increasingly serious and/or heavy problems in her own life, signaling that she has begun to see him as an equal and to take him seriously.

Likewise, the show has done a lot -- especially in the back half of season 2 -- to help Schneider grow up a little bit. They’ve given us hints about how he operates the building and why, they’ve fleshed out details of his struggles with addiction so that it’s more than just a punchline. We’ve seen him be serious and act with maturity when it’s needed -- a few times in season 1 with Alex and baseball and Elena’s coming out -- but especially in, again, the back half of season 2. 

Secondly, I believe that the show is setting them up to be a slowburn because their needs are actually very similar, but diverge just enough so that they what they offer to one another are complimentary rather than conflicting. 

Over the course of the two seasons, we’ve actually seen the slow development of Schneider as Penelope’s partner. He’s the only non-family member she trusts with her kids, he’s there for family dinners and all the big events, she goes to him for advice and support and just to vent. He’s the one who holds her and gives her a hug when she goes off her meds and while he doesn’t say the words I got you, he says things which are equally as valuable -- I understand you and I’m here for you and I forgive you. 

For Schneider, Penelope is able to give him both that feeling of family and that feeling of being wanted. He has his own relationships with her kids and her mother apart from him, but it’s also his relationship with her that allows him to grow those relationships -- especially with Alex and Elena. And even though Penelope teases him, she also is always the one seeking him out for advice and support, making him feel both wanted and needed for himself and for who he is. She makes him feel like he has something to offer simply by virtue of being himself, not for what he can do for her. 

Third, Schneider’s actually acted as a foil for the two major partners in Penelope’s life. He has the same addiction issues as Victor, but has gone about it in the exact opposite way. He supports Elena when she comes out and is there to do all the dad stuff with Alex. With Max, the big sticking point was his desire to have children. Not only do we know that having children is not really in Schneider’s life plan, the show provides us numerous examples that -- in many ways -- he already views, in some way at least, Alex and Elena as his own kids. 

Finally, I wanna talk about Schneider’s maturity. I think part of the reason for Schneider’s arrested development and immaturity is due to the fact that he’s never really had to be responsible for anyone, including himself. But the fact that he’s been sober for seven-ish years now at the end of season 2 shows that he’s learned and is constantly reaffirming responsibility for himself. We also see the ways in which he feels responsible for and a duty to Lydia and the Alvarez family, so that will likewise help him to grow as a person. 

Sorry this got long, but basically, I feel like the writers are definitely setting these two up as a slowburn relationship. I do love seeing them as best friends, but it’s also worth noting that the best romantic relationships are ones which are built on a foundation of friendship. I can’t wait to see what kind of content we get in season 3!!

[vacationcalendar]

8/13/21

Today’s creative project, an private letter (it could have been an open letter, but who the hell is reading this besides myself and maybe the person receiving it) to Voyboy. He’s been in a rough place mentally/emotionally. He’s had some deaths in his family which is never easy, and his attempt to de-platform a twitch streamer with a known history of sexual abuse has earned him undue (and as is sadly routine, SEVERE) ire from fans of said streamer. 

It’s so weird, there’s obviously people who are like, “I’m not getting involved. I don’t care enough to inform myself well enough to have an opinion.” And those people are also split into camps that either approve or disapprove of “rocking the boat” as it were. Some people think this level of calling-out is too incendiary for the offense. Some people find the subject uncomfortable and wish it would go away, with the unfortunate default to that view being an acquiescence of justice for the accused.

And some people are also hung up on the justice part in particular. This entire affair is being conducted in the infamous “Court of Public Opinion.” A forum that has been dragged out MUCH more frequently in this modern age than in history. That fact alone upsets people. Hell, it’s bothered me in the past. I see the Court of Public Opinion make a ruling, and I think, “I didn’t elect this Judge, I did not approve this jury, there is no precedent here!”

It does feel like things are moving fast. They are. Dan Harmon said in an interview earlier this month, “Progress isn’t a scalpel, it’s an avalanche.” And he welcomed it. We should be welcoming progress. Even if it’s messy. Some might say “especially if it’s messy!” I don’t know who is saying that, but I feel in my gut someone on twitter would say that and get 80.3k likes. I know my Twitter.

I digress. Some people are of the view that they can’t be the judge. Leave it up to the real judges and let me just do whatever it was that I was going to do, please. So when Voyboy does all this work to put a spotlight on this problem, people see him handing them a pitchfork and come help him kill The Beast. And some people balk at that. Some people shy away, and just stay inside (this is mostly me, I’ll admit. The inside people go, “I didn’t watch that guy anyway, this is all fine with me! Now please leave me alone”). And some say, “Hey man, I’m opposed to violence, and by the way, the Beast is a really chill guy if you ever got to know him. In fact, people like you who are so quick to hand out pitchforks to make yourself look like some noble saint are actually pieces of shit!” And then a bunch of that guy’s friend go “Yeah, he is a piece of shit!” because that’s how bullying works. And then the bullies spend all day trapped in their miserable bodies, stuck in their miserable lives. And they go on Twitch and watch their friend stream to them, and their friend makes them feel wanted for once in their shit existence. And then later they’re on twitter and see Voyboy say something about how your friend’s an abusive monster and needs to see justice, and you KNOW that it’s all bullshit, and Voyboy just trying to get points with his girlfriend or something, he doesn’t care at all. What an asshole. Fuck him. Fuck this loser. I should reply to him, since it’s the easiest thing in the world for anyone to do. And generally people don’t follow people they hate like this, so that would limit this extremely toxic interaction, but Voyboy is followed by all the LoL streamers, so people that follow league generally hear from all the content creator’s in the community. And maybe they��re streamer friend mentioned that Voyboy was a fake ass cuck or whatever on stream and told his followers to go check out the shit he was spewing. 

So Voyboy says grooming is unacceptable and disgusting, sexting teens is deplorable. And we as a modern community don’t need to hear him beat a rap sheet like that in court to act, because we as a community have the power to shape it how we see fit. And under that tweet is 100 replies saying that he’s a piece of shit and should die.

And then the uninformed masses see that and go, “why is Voyboy a piece of shit?? What am I missing?” And then they see Voyboy tweet something like “this is really hard, these guys are out to get me but I won’t back down.” And if you’re like me you think, “Oh I’ve never supported this kind of drama in my life. This is boring at best and uncomfortable at worst. Let’s all stop (aka bail)!” And then Voyboy goes “I won’t!” And then everyone level-headed and sane goes “boo, I’m bored, knock this off!” And everyone that is now LIVING for this bullying. I mean, what a payout. You bully this dude every day and he feeds you attention every time? This rules! So the detractors get WORSE and the supporters settle down. And Voyboy has now learned the harsh truth of social justice. It just beats you down. Everyone’s in this game for themselves; the moment you set aside your own interest to help someone else out, you are instantly and forever outnumbered. And the whole time you’re just like, “what the fuck is so hard about this? I am proposing an objectively good idea that would make everyone happier! I only even started trying to say something because I knew I was right! This is like getting fired for hitting a home run!”

I’m learning, and I should say digesting maybe, more about power this year than I have in a long time. It’s the answer to a lot of equations that don’t add up under my current philosophies. Like if everything I think is true, then was does X Y and Z still happen? Why do I feel like ____? The answer is something to do with power. And I’m starting to figure out what that is. Ha, I think part of me is a little ashamed it’s taking this long, I guess. Like, I’M learning it, but it’s been learnt. I’m catching up. But that’s ok. That’s literally all I’m doing. Catching up. Keeping up. I’m not even trying to do something once I’m caught up. I just don’t think there’s any other place to be. Well, I mean, I would truly hate to write something that got read that was just plain not-caught-up. Something that would make a reader go, “hey, doesn’t he know better?” I SHOULD. That’s literally the goal.

Anyways, I’ve lost my train of thought, and need a bathroom break. Here’s the letter I sent to Voyboy, to try and help him through all this. Talk to you tomorrow love ;) : Hey Voy I hope you are doing better, and I hope you get a chance to read this. I started League of Legends back in Season 1 when I was in college. I remember the first time I heard of you, you were one the few people ahead of HotshotGG in the rankings, and I remember thinking, "what the hell, how did this kid get so lucky?!" lol. Then I got to see you play with RS, and mostly thought you were lucky again to be getting carried by Scarra 🤣 I'm sorry! By the time you joined CLG I finally caught wise. You became one of my all-time favorite players on the scene. Your Olaf looked like a cheat code, I swear to god. I love League of Legends so much, and back in college I spent almost every waking minute thinking about it. It was one of my great passions. And at that time I was struggling to find anything else I was truly passionate about. I got depressed in college, and by that point I had realized my goal of being an engineer wasn't something I actually cared about. So I dropped out. I was in a truly dark place. I felt like life had left me behind and that I was worthless. I still had League, but League couldn't give me what I needed. I have this distinct memory from one of my last games in Season 4 where some Ranked Soloqueue bs was making my blood boil out of my body. I literally had to stand up and walk around outside after the game. I was pissed, but I knew the real reason was because I just wasn't good enough. That was the moment I realized I was never going to get to walk the path of Voyboy or Doublelift, I was not going to be one of the great ones that League would pick up and give them an opportunity to do something great. I would need to find something of my own.

After that League stopped being as fun for me. I knew I had to do something else with my life and League was only holding me back. All my friends I knew through League started to feel less like my friends. So I quit. After almost 4 years nonstop. And the years after that only looked worse. I was still depressed, still struggling desperately to find my way, and now the thing that brought me the most joy in the world was long gone from my life.

Five years went by and over that time I moved, got a real job, and somehow became a real adult. Life was still hard work, but I was now ready for it. I bought myself a real gaming computer after using crummy laptops my entire life. And once I realized I could finally see LoL at something other than the lowest graphics setting, I decided to download it again. I don't need to tell you that coming back 5 years away made League feel like a completely new game. I might as well have been playing Dota for all I knew. And I felt terrible. I felt like the person that used to play this game was dead; I had no memory left in my fingers. "Well, it was worth a shot," I said.

And then I found your videos on youtube. "Hey I know him!" After just two games, it all came rushing back to me. Your games, your stream reignited my love for League of Legends. And now I'm healthier. Now I can play for a bit and return to a life I that I care equally about. I learned how to love League AND love myself; and the entire time, you were there. The Kid, with his million-watt smile, raising the bar.

I can't say I see the exact same circumstances with what you've been going through lately. I just know what that cloud can feel like. And maybe it's similar, feeling like League and the other parts of your life are at odds with each other right now. And the further away the game gets, the more you see the cracks appear. Hateful kids and useless trolls come to this game not for the experience, but to talk crap and feed their ego. It's so sad that our society still needs to work so hard to treat sexual abuse with the weight that it deserves. But I think because of that, it only highlights that you're doing work that's worth doing.

I don't know what you're planning on doing next, but no matter what it is, I'll support you. I don't know what it's worth, but you're genuinely one of my favorite people. You're worthy of love, you're worthy of happiness. You've worked hard, you've put your heart into making League of Legends a community something to be proud of. I've seen it time and time again. And it won't be for nothing, I swear.

Cya nerd, be well. Thanks

[the-edge-of-great]

Let’s Talk Mech-X4!

I’m in the mood to over analyze some characters, so here’s this. This is just me putting my opinion out there. Later I think I’ll actually dive into the development these guys have had since the first episode. I’ve been wanting to discuss this show for a while, too! Hope you enjoy :)

Sooo... Mech-X4 is a pretty cool show. It’s so much better than I was expecting for a Disney live action show. The CGI is pretty impressive for the channel it’s on and the plot is intriguing and different. The acting’s a bit mediocre, but I’m not too picky about that. I wish the fandom was a bit bigger, but I also like the size now. It’s easy to talk and get to know people :)

In order, my favorite characters are:

1. Spyder

2. Mark

3. Veracity

4. Harris

5. Ryan

Now now, that is just my opinion. Everyone has their own. Under the cut, I’ll explain why these characters are ranked how they are. Warning though, not all of this will be positive.

Possible spoilers ahead

Spyder

This may be just a me thing, but I’m always drawn to the comic relief characters on a team (Lance McClain, Sokka, Dez Wade (Austin & Ally) to name a few).

Spyder’s a character I can relate to. In his first appearance on the show, Spyder is ecstatic about Ryan making the vending machine malfunction and he just sits on the ground, savoring the unlimited supply of treats and thanking the heavens and honestly same. That is such a mood.

Everybody’s different in times of peril and hardships. Some people stay quiet, some lash out, some cry, and others make jokes. There is absolutely nothing wrong with using humor to lighten a situation, and I hate the way Spyder’s attempts are treated as ‘immature’ and ‘not serious.’ This may be the biggest thing I can relate to with Spyder. When things get tough, I often try to make jokes to make myself or others laugh. Laughter is the best medicine, right? It helps. It doesn’t help for all people or it doesn’t make sense to all people, so sometimes it’s written off as the person not taking the situation seriously and that is just ridiculous.

Another thing that’s ridiculous is how Spyder’s treated. If I were in his shoes, I’d walk away from that entire group. Of course, I’ve already been through the hard time of losing friends and I’m wiser because of it, so that’s a simpler solution for me to say. Maybe not leave this current group, but I do wish he had other people to turn to. He endures constant abuse from his team, if not his friends then Leo. What was it Leo said when they thought Spyder had done something right? “He’s finally proved himself an important asset to the team?” (Don’t quote me on that, I can’t remember the exact line). That just. Ugh. That was in no way, shape, or form the right thing to say. Spyder is an original team member. Mech-X4 would be goners without him. It just bugs me. I hate how Disney shows always have to have that one character that everyone treats like trash just because they’re the comic relief character. Sometimes, those characters develop and earn some respect, but this season (probably the series) is almost over and I have yet to see any kind of actual development for Spyder. Then again, Pearce (Spyder’s actor) did just post on Insta about Spyder solving a “perplexing problem,” so hopefully that earns him some brownie points on the team. 

In conclusion, Spyder’s my favorite character. He’s underrated, the team’s underdog. He’s delivered too many blows than he deserves. He has average intelligence on a team with geniuses (minus Ryan. Mr. Leader seems to forget that he’s not a genius either). Spyder’s my favorite character because I can relate to him the most. If he doesn’t get more recognition in the rest of this season, I’m gonna rage.

Mark

I will give credit to the creators on Mark’s character. They’ve written him out to be the perfect older jock brother. I myself have an older brother who was popular and great at sports in high school. He and his friends picked on me all the time. I endured the same sibling abuse that Ryan does. It was terrible, but I gotta admit that I wasn’t complaining much when ten football players came over to swim at my house after practice in the summer ;). Just, everything about Mark being the king of the school and making fun of Ryan and the whole shebang is 100% accurate and I love it so much. Also despite it all, he and Ryan are close at home (even before Mech-X4). All of it is so incredibly relatable. I haven’t really connected with siblings (on Disney anyways) as well as I have with these two. I love it.

That may be the biggest reason Mark’s at number two. Everything Mark did regarding teasing and name calling and pranking was justified to me by just being an older brother. I watched the first episode, listening to Ryan complain and plot some revenge against Mark, and all I could think was same. It’s the struggles younger siblings face that tie us together, I guess. I also liked how, as the show progressed, Mark started treating Harris and Spyder kinda like his little brothers, too. He poked fun at them still, but he didn’t threaten the freshmen when they poked fun back. Mark’s protected them the same way he’s protected Ryan. They really have become a family since this whole thing started, and that’s just beautiful.

Veracity

She hasn’t been in the spotlight long, so this explanation will be short. Being a female myself, I’m a sucker for girls who are confident in what they do. I also love though that she doesn’t know everything, as mentioned by Harris. She’s incredibly intelligent, but she isn’t an expert on the world. I like the balance between the two and that both sides of her have been shown to her friends and the viewers. :)

Harris

Harris is adorable. He’s a scary smart, hilarious smol bean and should be protected, but could probably likely handle himself on his own. There wasn’t really anything that stood out to me for Harris. Unlike the previous characters, I couldn’t find anything to really relate to. He’s a great friend, caring, loyal, the voice of reason everybody needs. The only thing I don’t like is that he’s too much like a dad. I mean, he’s really mature for his age. I wonder if that is because of something that’s happened in the past or if he’s just naturally more mature (though in my experience, you don’t just be more mature than the rest of your peers. There’s gotta be something that molded you into that more mature figure). I love Harris’s catchphrases. I love his humor. I love his little rivalry with Veracity. He’s a fun character with a strong determination to be the best he can be, he just doesn’t top the other three. *shrugs*

Ryan

I... Okay. Let me just say this: I don’t hate Ryan. He’s done a fantastic job getting a hang on those powers and defending the city the best he can. He’s dealt with being adopted and going through the whole process of searching for his father really well. Kudos to him, really.

The thing is though, I dislike Ryan. He acts on impulse, putting his own desires above his team’s. When someone calls him out this, he guilt trips them into doing what he wants. He’s impatient, willing to risk his team drowning instead of just waiting a few more days. I believe there’s a bit of serial killer tendencies rattling around that brain of his, but that’s a topic for a different day. 

Look, I do not believe Ryan’s a good leader, at all. He just has the technopathic ability and the robot. Basically, he has all the power, so they don’t really have a choice but to follow. He has potential, of course. He could be a great leader one day, but if I were on his team at the moment, I wouldn’t follow him anywhere.

I know it’s probably an unpopular opinion to be so against Ryan, but I’ve been brooding over this since the first season. He’s a very complex character, I’ll give him that. There’s more to him than meets the eye, I think. Still, he’s not climbing my favorites ladder anytime soon. Maybe it’ll change when the show returns!?

Anyways, thanks for reading my little (actually super long) rant here. Agree, disagree, have any opinions on it? Feel free to tell me! What’s your character ranking? :)

[ichigo777666]

Power Rangers Season 18

This is my critiques/review of Season 18 of Power Rangers, aka Power Rangers Samurai. Note that these will be my opinions. You might hate things I like or like things I hate - if you wanna comment in your opinions, or ask questions that’s fine with me.

All segments will have SPOILERS for that season so if you don’t want to know how something ends, don’t read. Find it below!

This is a bit of an odd season as  Samurai and the next series Super Samurai are direct continuations. For this part, I am ONLY considering what happens in Samurai (Season 18).

Basis of the Season: Ancient sealed evil demons wake up and try to free themselves from the netherworld and flood the world. To do this they have to rise the level of water in the river via human misery and sadness. A team of pre-detemined Samurai warriors from ancient bloodlines join to fight against them.

What I think of the 'heroes': When I think of the rangers, one thing comes to mind:  The voice acting….omg the voice acting. Everything is  spoken in this oh-so-serious monotone with emphasis  on every word...and no emotion. Emily talking about her sick sister and Jayden talking about his father’s last words are spoken the exact same way as any normal conversation. It honestly feels like no one had time to learn any lines & cue cards were being held up off camera for every scene of dialog. The only time there’s any emotion or inflection is when they’re transformed...aka when  they’re just dubbing.  This is true most obviously in the first few episodes. As the series progresses, some grow out of this habit. Emily and Mike (and Antonio later) all seem to gain actual personalities. Mia is stuck in this weird zone of half the time sounding flat and other times being emotional...but Jayden & Kevin remain stuck in this rut forever. That being said, I like Mike and Emily from the original 5. Antonio is also good. These are the only three that get actual real character development.

What I think of the 'villains': A group of mostly “ho-hum” characters. Xandred’s only quality in this season is that he’s got a headache and he’s angry. Octooru’s voice and sometimes rhyming got old in one episode. Dayu’s okay but she gets so little screen time apart from like 2 episodes that it’s hard to judge. The best villain character is definitely Deker.

My overall impression of this season:  If you’ve noticed, which I assume since you’re reading this my posting for season 17 was over two years ago...there’s no real reason other than I really  don’t like this season. I  must have started to watch these episodes and then quit a dozen times. I eventually only got through this series by finding the episodes online and watching them at 1.75x speed.... Why Well:

- The background music is obnoxiously loud in this season. 18 seasons and this is the first one where I struggled to hear dialog over some of the music, especially during fight scenes.

-The voice acting (see the Heros section above)

- Some of the special effects seem awful this season. In the first two episodes alone, there’s a scene where Red cuts a car in half which looks so fake it’s as if they weren’t even trying. An episode later, he swings his big smasher and some of the henchmen feet away from the blade that are not in range just go “flying” and the circle of goons that was there before the slice are all suddenly gone despite the fact that only two were seen being “hit”.

-The fact that during the second episode after being hit & unmorphed, the four just stare and watch Red fight while commenting on ‘how cool’ he basically is was just...no.  It felt like  a scene from  a bad fanfiction story. And they wait until he gets knocked down to remorph and help rather than doing that from the start...because they had to do that commentary on how Red is so cool. This “standing around watching/commenting” happens WAY too often.Throughout the whole season there are tons of occasions of one person (usually Jayden) going on to fight alone and the others just hanging back and doing nothing until Jayden gets into trouble and THEN they decide to go help.

-There are multiple things that make NO COMMON SENSE. Why is Pink’s zord a turtle when her element is sky/wind? Could they not think of a BIRD for her or something that, you know, FLIES? Explain to me how a turtle connects to wind?!  SECONDLY,  are  their identities supposed to be secret this season or not? Based on the first few episodes where they just blatantly walk around and then morph I was thinking no but apparently it’s yes? They’re not even trying to be subtle here… They’ve morphed with  people around multiple times and often with  people who know them around too...so how are  they being secretive? There’s multiple scenes where they walk into an area with Nightlok and people and then morph...how hard would it have been to  stop ten feet back & morph where no one is or around a corner? Nope, right in the middle! And they can do it...they just choose not to…. As the series progresses this happens less and less which leaves you wondering WHY they did this in the beginning?

-The plots are one liners that get resolved with no real character development. There’s some plot that are just NOT PLOTS. There’s so much filler that this becomes obvious. The amount of full separate morph sequences where they go one at a time and show them all is so high I stopped counting at 10; they obviously needed to waste time. They brought back comic relief Bulk +1...to waste time...

What I think the season needed more/less of: MORE PLOT, less of ALL the above.

My favorite character: It’s terrible hard to pick...because so many characters are just....meh. It’s going to be Deker for being the only consistent character with some motivation and a good character. Mike’s a good second

My least favorite character: Jayden. Jayden’s personality is so flat it’s painful to watch him.

The best episode: No. There IS NO BEST EPISODE. Instead, I’m going to talk about the worst episode...not  the worst made or the most boring but the one where the characters make such baffling decisions that the episode literally has you yelling at the screen at these idiots. And that is Episode 4 Deal With a Nighlok.  The plot is simple: a Nighlok decides to fill the river by ruining someone’s dream. The Nighlok chooses a child who plays baseball but misses his dad who’s in the army; the Nighlok convinces the kid to give up one baseball with the promise that if he does, he can see his dad. The Rangers show up; the kid won’t tell them anything; they follow the kid; the kid does what the Nightlok says and gets double-crossed; the Rangers defeat the Nighlok and the kid goes back to play baseball. Here are the highlights of the baffling decisions/weird occurrences that happen in just this one episode.

-The rangers find a Nighlok talking with a kid, tell the kid to run away while they fight the Nighlock, and then immediately go running around to find that same kid to ask the kid what the Nightlok wanted. Why didn’t they just have the child hide? Or have someone guard him when it was obvious it was talking to him?!

-Also the kid was wearing a very obvious baseball uniform...so why didn’t they immediately check there? Blue & Pink just randomly find him on a path. Mind you they have no idea where he was going or where he lives...and they just happen on him.

-They then approach the kid as their normal selves instead of as Rangers...whom the kid would obviously look up to, seeing as they literally saved him moments ago. Instead they’re counting on this child to talk to two total strangers...which obviously fails, so they stalk him...and then stakeout his house. 

-The kid also has the quickest change ever. The kid goes around a corner and the rangers follow shortly after. In like 3 seconds he’s gotten off his bike, unzipped his jacket, taken it off, and picked up his bat. The jacket is just gone and in none of the following shots.

-Oh did I mention they SUCK as stake-outs? Instead of having shifts the  same two  just  stay there...and do the inevitable which is fall asleep. 

-During the stakeout, the Blue ranger lies to Pink’s face and tells her her cooking is good...which leads to Pink attempting to cook (to the others’ horror) for the rest of the season. The “samurai code’ guy chooses to LIE....

-They also have the “perfect” timing as they wake up just as the kid is leaving his house. 

-They also somehow know the kid’s name….despite the kid not talking to him, the Nighlok not mentioning it, or anyone else talking to the child!

-The kid eventually throws some of his things away into a bin. The show shows the garbage truck throwing the bin away automatically (it’s one of those trucks with the automatic grabber) but later in a flashback there’s suddenly a garbage man doing the job...so continuity?

- Also said garbage man fished the stuff out of the bin and then went out of his way to find the team somewhere in the city to return it??? 

-The Nighlok turns big (as usual) and rampages but after it’s been defeated the kids just go on to have a baseball game...like it’s noting....

-Jayden then makes the decision to use his powers in public IN front of two teams and an audience to make a magical version of the kid’s dad appear??????  

-Also, predictably, the kid hits a homerun on his first try...the team celebrates like the kid has won the game when he’s literally the first hitter….

Overall Rating: 1/10. I would normally justify why but...just read all the above...

[miyu-hyperfixates]

Cas and the Empty, Dean and Death, a mirrored journey

I wanted to talk about Cas in the Empty, right after 13x04, but didn’t get the occasion to write it properly before 13x05. But I’m thankful I didn’t, because while it could have stand on its own, it’s so much more complete with the event of 13x05. (A little bit like how Dean and Cas are great on their own but so awesome together ;p)

So it’s all in the tittle really, but Dean’s and Cas’s inner progression starting from 12x23 are like reversed mirrors of one another. But it’s even more obvious when you compare 13x04 and 13x05. (I’ll elaborate on that later on.) And they managed to meet at the middle point (Earth) and reach some sort of balance.

Oh speaking of balances, if you didn’t read @postmodernmulticoloredcloak‘s meta on Dean’s and Cas’s Duality and reaching balance through each other, go read it now, it’s awesome!  And it’s kinda related to what I’m going to talk about now. Kinda…

Beware, long post is super long.

A comparative analysis of Dean’s and Cas’s metaphysical Journey

To be honest I hesitated a lot on what would be the best way to write it. Should I go by chronological order or by reversed parallel? Because not only is it a reverse journey chronological wise but mirrored wise too. Anyway in the end I decided that it’s better to follow the episodes order.

1. The Beginning [Season 12, 12x23]

Cas ‘started’ this journey by being “heavily influenced” by a powerful being (Jack), he was obsessed with getting a win for Dean, and for himself. And that’s an important point here, because Cas is doing it for Dean’s sake as much as for his own. So let’s not forget that while Dean and Cas are playing a major role on the other journey, ultimately, it’s an individual journey.

As for his mental state, even though he was starting to get a little bit better, he was still trying to overcome depression, fighting his feeling of worthlessness. He hadn’t lost his will to live though, he went to the fight against Lucifier, knowing that the odds weren’t good but still hoping that he’ll be able to live through it, save the world etc…

So basically Cas started at a pretty low spot.

Dean on the other hand, started with such a good head space. I mean, sure he had the threat of Lucifer and Jack over his head, but he was okay. He had Cas (sorta), his mom, Sam (even Crowley).  He had faith in them, he believed that everything was going to be okay, because they were there.

2. Cas’s Death [12x23]

  Cas’s desperation filled need for a win leads to nowhere and he is killed by Lucifer. Stabbed in the back.

Dean is devastated of course, shocked. He lost everything.

3. Cas’s stillness vs Dean’s rollercoaster grief [13x01, 13x02, 13x03]

All those times we saw Cas in the three first episodes of season 13, he was still, motionless, because well duh, he’s dead. But even in the Empty, he was just sleeping on the “floor”, not moving at all. When you’re in the empty, you’re basically not feeling anything because you’re in some kind of eternal sleep. (The Empty is this world’s most efficient anesthesia.)

Dean’s emotion though.... Ho boy! They were all over the place. His grief, his pain, his desperation.. like just look at his prayer to Chuck in 13x01 and you’ll know what I mean.

But he was constantly physically moving too... Like he forced himself to move on, to act... to keep hunting even though his head wasn’t in the game.

4. Cas in the empty, Dean is empty inside [13x03,13x04]

It’s quite interesting that the moment Dean admitted out loud that he couldn’t just move on from Cas’s death, that he couldn’t just forget, was the exact moment Cas transitioned from stillness to movement.   

And because the both of them just couldn’t get on the same page. After the outburst, Dean shoved down his grief for Cas deep into his mind, like in some sort of void never to be mention out loud again. And even admitted at the end of 13x04 that he couldn’t believe in anything anymore.

Now I’m not going to elaborate on how Qstiel represented Cas depression, and that by fighting him, Cas basically fought and win against his own depression (that had already been metaed to death by other amazing people), I’m just going to point out what I think is relevant for this analysis.

Cas wanted to go back on Earth, to be alive, to the Winchesters. To Dean. 

So basically we got a contrast between Cas who is physically (mentally? Gracely? Soulely? Whatever state that was, since Cas real ‘physical’ state, his body, is dead)  in the Empty, but whose feelings are flaring, trying to reach the Winchesters on Earth, against Dean who is physically on Earth, but whose feelings for Cas are basically shove down onto a void (empty) space inside his head. 

5. Dean in the Veil, Cas is alive [13x04, 13x05]

Really, guys, it’s ridiculous, can’t you both be happy, alive and well at the same freaking time? What are you the metaphysical equivalent of Romeo and Juliet?!

Cas’s metaphyical journey, ended with him losing his memories of his time in the empty. But it’s okay, because even if he resets to his 12x23 state, we, audience, know how his inner progresses went. We know that his feelings for Dean are stronger than ever. We know that Cas’ll fight his depression, that he’ll get better, that he will be okay. Maybe not now, but in the long run. Because he had believed back in the empty that it was worth coming back on Earth, despite everything.

Cas came back to Earth surrounded by flowers, and fruits and sunshine lighting his face. He was surrounded by proof of life. The only way it could have seemed even more positive was if they decided to add a bunch of little animals playing around and rainbows and unicorns...

Now, Dean...

Dean is such in a bad space right now. We already established that even though he is physically well, he is basically dead inside, and his faith is empty. 

Like really his first instinct to such emergency was to kill himself to go talk to the ghosts?! How is that rational? Well maybe because Dean wanted to die, in the line of duty. Of course if he’s being attacked, he’ll defend himself half-heartily because that’s what expected of him and it might save someone, but if he died ? It doesn’t really matter.

So Dean went to the Veil, and went he met Billie he didn’t expect to come back. And he was okay with that. He didn’t came back to Life because he wanted to, he went back because he was forced to.

Dean ended his journey feeling worthless and needing a win just like Cas did in the beginning of his journey, back in season 12.

Dean came back to Life, in the dark, in the floor of a haunted house that was owned by a mad serial killer. Dean was surrounded  by sign of death, which reflected his negative journey.

Okay, now that we’ve talk about how different their journey were, I want to talk about the similarities, and the fact that even in the similarities it was diametrically different. 

Death

Ok so both of them died at some point of this journey, but the way they died? Completely different.

Cas was killed, stabbed in the back by an outside force. It wasn’t premeditated and outside of his control.

Dean killed himself, he intentionally stab himself with a syringe, right on the heart, on the front. 

Little trip to a metaphysical dimension

Cas went to the empty. But at first he was like any other dead angels and demons. Asleep. Then he woke up and become the anomaly. He was kinda lost, not knowing what to do and sort of roaming around.

Dean went to the veil. He was the anomaly right from the start and knew exactly what to do, Dean came to the veil with a purpose. 

The fact that they were both the anomaly attracted the attention of Death and Qstiel.

I think it’s kinda poetic how both of them have some Empty/Death parts in them.

Cas is physically dead (as in his body wasn’t tethered to his grace/soul anymore), he is in the empty but he is not feeling empty at all, while Dean is inwardly empty, he is in the veil, but he is technically not really dead yet.    

Meet your local Celestial Entity

They both had a talk with their respective Celestial Entity, and both Billie and Qstiel saw through their mental state and confronted them with it.

Qstiel rummaged through Cas’s memories and threw back at him all his failures and his insecurities. Qstiel used Cas’s past to get at him. Billie on the other hand used Dean’s current state, his present feeling of emptiness and worthlessness.

The whole Qstiel/Cas interaction was super antagonistic, there were no deals involve, Qstiel had no intention to send Cas back at all and Cas had to super antagonistically convinced Qstiel to send him back. The Billie/Dean one wasn’t like that at all. It was super chill actually. Billie had every intention of sending Dean back from the start, that’s why she made a deal with him, she was expecting him to make her put him back. But he didn’t ask that. So she had to resurrect him whether he wanted to or not.

Back to Life

So I already mentioned before but the way Cas came to Life was shot in a very positive fashion. With the sun shining on his face, flowers and fruits all around him and all.

While Dean’s was very Death oriented. A house that had been full of ghosts, deaths. The house of a serial killer. 

So to sum up. Cas wasn’t well, he died, went to the empty met the Empty and got way better, when he came back.

Dean was good, then he lost everything, died inside, lost faith, then killed himself, went to the veil, met Death, came back not feeling any better and probably worse.

So Cas had been on a uphill journey, while Dean’s was a downhill one. But it also means that Cas will go down a little, while Dean will start to go up again. And guess what, when you’re on the summit and bottom of the same hill, and if one’s goes up while the other goes down, you’ll end up meeting each other at some point.

Last time, it was different. Sure Cas was going up, while Dean was going down. But they weren’t even in the same freaking dimension. (And it was very important for them to be on two different dimension, because they weren’t supposed to learn something on their own. Cas had to have the will to live on his own. And Dean had to realize that Cas is everything .)

Now they are both alive and on Earth. And they’ll meet up at the middle ground. And then they’re going to start another journey together. Where both of them are going to climb up.

Okay it was super long, and I’m not sure it was very informative, but here you have it. (By the way, I didn’t even manage to say what I wanted to point out about Cas and the Empty in the first place... Well guess I’ll just make another post, this one is already long as it is...) 

[theangry-ace]

I care more about the girl in R18 drama cd; another short reviews

God I’ve gone through so many titles and it’s hard to find a series with a good balance of good story, good boys and good ecchi, but unfortunately most are not.

It's not that there's a lack of good ones though. there are quite a lot of them actually. but just that the MCs in most titles are just too... unnaturally passive ALL THE TIME! would it not sell if they made MC more strong-willed and actually would stand her ground and not let herself being pushed around and bullied? I want a title where the MC actually kick some ass. literally or metaphorically, I don't mind, just give me an ass kicking scene!!!! give me a girl who will not put up with the bullshit!

anyhow, here’s the third batch of my reviews. the first and second are here if you’re insterested. I spoil a lot so read with caution.

I found most of these from Airavalky.

Love tranquilizer story: 5/5 icha icha; 5/5 this is bias bc this was my first R18 drama cd. made me notice of sawa manaka. also where I realized finger sucking is my thing lol. I believe this series is still ongoing and has a one or two more other characters but these are all that I’ve gone through. the concept is 'tranquilizing' relationship. each one of them started as casual relationship with no commitment, but later progressed to be something much more. Takemiya Yuki = osanajimi character. he sounds like a insensitive jerk but he actually cared too much about the girl. his story is that he gained a lot of attention in high school due to his basketball and girl decided to keep a distance from him to avoid jealous fans. dude didn’t like it at all but he played along until he just kinda begged her to chose him over trying to pretend they don't have anything to do with one another. second season he had to move away bc of uni and their issue there is adapting with long distance relationship for the first time, and they're struggling to make it work. Houbai Kazuhide = a more matured character from work. he is the one with the finger sucking thing hehehe. they started very neutral relationship but after a drunken one night stand, they thought they'd be sexfriends to "relieve one another's stress". after a while dude gets an omiai and wanted to end the relationship, only later to realize his feelings for the girl is real. second volume for his story is quite realistic couple's problems I enjoyed it so fucking much 10/10 will go back to this just for the drama. Matsuzawa Tasuku (Sawa Manaka) = this was my actual first R18 drama cd so it left quite an impression on me haha. I thought I’d prefer 'manly' voice but actually I like this youthful/playful voice much better. guy is kinda an up and coming celebrity and the girl is his manager. I think at first they're just sexfriends but one time had sex with no condom and thought if girl got pregnant she would have to quit her job and he don't want that so he decided they should be a real couple instead... I think. he speaks too fast for me to understand completely. I’ll get back to this once my Japanese is a bit better.

Madoromi no alice story: 1/5 icha icha: 5/5 don't be fooled by the pretty cover art. not much story in this except a girl sex dream with many versions of her boyfriend, with alice in wonderland as theme. the tokutens are quite intense with the sex though. if you don't know sumeragi mikado, this would be a good place to start... or bad place to start if too much ecchi is not your thing. I’d suggest Kindan Jouji, the host volume instead.

Mikkare story: 4/5 icha icha: 4/5 quite good and sweet story, though the sex takes place in very inconvenient of all places. like, in the fucking elevator????? in a storeroom???? ...but I think I need more from this series. why is there no more of this series? pls tell me there's actually more from this series.

My butler story: 3/5 icha icha: uhhhhh / 5 review: it started out good but kinda made me cringe halfway, especially Cider's. it's kinda creepy like I know the MC is supposed to be a projection of you but the 'grooming'/teaching scene is too... pedophilic-ish to me I couldn't bring myself to listen to the end.

Otona no marchen story: 2/5 icha icha: 3/5 review: interesting concept of the fairy tale but not too complex; just taking the fairytale and put the sex in them. a bit too simple but good nonetheless. I like the peter pan one bc of the lol. the cinderella one is what you called a yandere? i feel so bad for the girl i wish there was another tokuten where she actually escaped from the prince or prince gets less of a possessive asshole.

Otona kareshi story; 4/5 icha icha; intense AF /5 review; sumeragi mikado doing yandere/controlling bf is very scary sometimes but he did it very convincingly. the White side is on the ~gentler~ side compared to the Black. sex scene has variety, uhh, acts? like there's paizuri and mentions of urinating and it's not something i found that in many titles  mentioning those yet so... that's something!

Otona tomodachi story; 4/5 (blue side only) icha icha; 4/5 (blue side only) review: this series has two ways how the guy would react, but both started out pretty much the same; they're sexfriends. Blue side, Chasuke's character will try to convince the girl not to go through the omiai and they would be a proper lovers instead. the Black side takes a darker turn I think (yandere route?) but since I don't want to ruin my image of chasuke, so I'm gonna put off from listening to them until my kokoro is ready. not anytime soon at least.

Relacion dulce story; 5/5 icha icha; 5/5 review; this is a very good series that focused on alcohol and icha icha that don't go problematic so this is stress free. vol.1 = this one has a ashikoki scene and the guy makes a very cute do-M chara. vol.2 = younger guy type. he just turned 20 (legal to drink) and they enjoyed a night drinking and sexing. vol.3 (yotsuya cider) = dude is a vet (I think) and when drunk he got loud and bitch about owls lol this one is unique since they talk about getting married and having babies. I don't think I've come across any that seriously talked about this yet so it left a big impression on me. (the only other series that talked abt the same thing is Karepilo's 10th volume (with Hirai tatsuya) where he said he want two kids and want to be the cool dad who can participate in school's sport event ugh that is the cutest god damn thing I ever heard fuck u hirai pls do more.)

Reversible story; 3 /5 icha icha: 5 / 5 review: the idea is its giving you two choices to how the ecchi scene goes; either the guy takes the lead or the girl. my fav is one with domon atsushi bc his oresama character is a real selfish asshole so having the side where his girl handcuffed him to the bed and decided to leave him is very amusing I clapped for the girl lol 10/10 would repeat many times over just to laugh at him hahaha. the iyashi(healing) bf side is very accurately titled.

Rouge et noir story; 5/5 icha icha: drugged and intense /5 review: story's really fucking good and suspenseful. icha icha is intense, understandably it was supposed to be induced by drug. I've only heard of two volumes (kawamura masato & sawa manaka as CV) but there’s also a third and fourth I think. basically girl is a rookie cop and she's one of them to take down a dangerous drug ring. why a rookie for this type of mission, though? I think the whole series focused on one girl but the stories they don't cross with one another. ugh I really really want to buy the whole seriessssss this is the exact amount of thrilling drama and icha icha that I wanttttt

Shinsoku ren'ai story: rape / 5 icha icha; rape / 5 review: rape. the kind where the sex will eventually ~magically~ made the girl fall in love with the rapist and somehow that's okay?? even for a porn??? case 1 (sawa manaka) = he started out fine but he grew increasingly possessive and jealous. he relocate girl's office to next to him, made her move in with him, all without the girl's say. he confined her in his home too. I think this is the least offensive of the three volumes since it ended with the dude stopped doing all that shit to her. well, kinda. case 2 - oh god this is too much rape I get nightmares. girl is the private tutor to the student guy. guy confessed one day but she refused. what comes next is traumatizing so only proceed if you know what to expect. case 3 (sumeragi mikado) - guy is the younger brother to the girl but he forced her to have sex with him, or he would go to her friends instead? I... I can't do this kind of shit. esp when girl eventually just accepts his 'love' in the end. why is this the theme for sexually abused victims??? can't just one of them gets their justice??? pleaseee

Shitsuji no prince-sama story: 3/5 icha icha: 4/5 review: I think it's pretty decent bc I really do like characters using keigo, but this is not very, uhh, satisfying? since they're kinda short. are they from a visual novel or something? not that they're not good; they’re great and I love the CVs here. the butlers will mention they have something to do with another career but my Japanese can't catch exactly why they had to be butlers as well. all I can get is that the girl had to stay in the mansion for two months for some reason.

Souai-sei no eshisu story; 3/5 icha icha: 3/5 review: look, I do not, for the life of me, will ever understand that someone would risk having their loved ones doubt, made them cry, argue or misunderstand that leads to a complete break of their cherished relationship, for the sake of keeping a secret of a fucking BIRTHDAY SURPRISE! JUST TELL THEM YOU ARE PLANNING A SURPRISE DON'T LEAVE THEM ALONE FEEDING THE DEMON WITH THEIR TRUST ON YOU! DO YOU WANT TO BREAK UP OVER A FUCKING BIRTHDAY SURPRISE?! anyway. this is sawa manaka though. not his best works IMO but this might just be me.

Suki ni natte wa ikenai kare story: 3/5 icha icha; 3/5 review; the theme is cheating. guy already has a gf and girl a bf. there's two ways their story would end, 'good ending' as in they break off with their then partners and date one another instead, or 'bad end' as in they sexed for the last time and swear to never see each other again. for this kind of theme I don't mind much, but not something I prefer. I may be aro but I know how much it hurts when ppl decided they would rather lie to you rather than come upfront and being honest.

[ncmagroup]

By Jim Rohn

Goal setting is a fantastic skill to develop, and how you design your own future. A life best lived is a life by design. Not by accident, and not by just walking through the day careening from wall to wall and managing to survive. If you can start giving your life dimensions and design and color and objectives and purpose, the results can be absolutely staggering.

Goal setting gives you the chance to experience the power of your imagination. Think about it. Imagination builds cities. Imagination conquers disease. Imagination develops careers. Imagination sets up relationships. Imagination is where all tangible values and intangible values begin. So what you’ve got to learn to do is use this powerful resource.

Tapping this resource of imagination for goal setting involves thinking about your future, thinking about tomorrow or the rest of the day, thinking about the rest of the year or five years or 10. You can use your imagination to start prospecting for the future, for what could be possible for you.

5 Things That Affect You, Your Life and Your Goals

But before you can do that, you need to know the five primary things that affect all of us:

1. The Environment

It doesn’t hurt to make a simple contribution to the environment; a little contribution costs nothing. Pick up a piece of trash and throw it in the receptacle. If everybody did that, what a better world it would be. If everybody contributed, what a difference it would make!

2. Events

Think of any big event of local, national or global significance. There are small events and daily events and family events and community events, too. Events affect all of us—some small, some big, some personal, some national, some global.

3. Knowledge

Here’s a good phrase to jot down: Ignorance is not bliss. Ignorance is tragedy. Ignorance is devastation. Ignorance creates lack. Ignorance creates disease. Ignorance will shorten your life. Ignorance will empty your life and leave you with the husks, nothing to account for. No, ignorance is not bliss.

Here’s another note to make: What you don’t know will hurt you. What you don’t know will tragically affect your life. What you don’t know will leave your life empty. What you don’t know will leave you without a relationship.

We’re affected by whatever we know or don’t know.

4. Results

Whether it’s business or personal, we’re all affected by results. Disciplines are undone in the future give us poor results. Disciplines managed well give us good results.

5. Our Dreams

We’re affected by our dreams—our vision of the future.

The Pull of the Future

Some people live in the past. They let their life be continually pulled and influenced by it. Although we must remember and review the past to make it useful to invest in the future, here’s the key: Make sure that the greatest pull on your life is the pull of the future.

If you’re skimpy on your dreams, or your objectives and your purposes aren’t very well planned, then that doesn’t pull very hard. You might have more of a tendency to be pulled apart by events or circumstances. So in order to save yourself from being pulled apart by distractions or pulled back to the past, you need to start designing the future.

Goals are like a magnet—they pull. And the stronger they are, the more purposeful they are, the bigger they are, the more unique they are, the stronger they pull.

High dreams pull you through all kinds of down days and down seasons. They pull you through a winter of discontent. They pull you through distraction on every side. A bad day can almost overwhelm you if you don’t have something really purposeful to go for on the other side of that day.

If you’ve got excellent goals, though, they’ll pull you through all these things and very little of it will attach itself to you. You’ll be able to get through some of the most difficult times if you have this spectacular vision ahead of you of where you’re going and what you’re going to accomplish.

Learning to Set Goals

Learning to set goals can transform your life forever. There is power in reaching out into the future, designing something to the best of your ability, refining it as you go, tearing it up periodically if you want to, setting a whole new list. It’s your life. It’s your future.

3 Components of Powerful Goals

The major reason for setting a goal is for what it makes you do to accomplish it. This will always be a far greater value than what you get. That is why goals are so powerful. They are part of the fabric that makes up our lives.

Goal setting is powerful because it provides focus, shapes our dreams, and gives us the ability to home in on the exact actions we need to take in order to get everything in life we desire. Goals cause us to stretch and grow in ways we never have before. In order to reach our goals, we must become better—we must change and grow.

Powerful goals have three components:

They must be inspiring.

They must be believable.

They must be goals you can act on.

Life is designed in such a way that we look long term and live short term. We dream for the future and live in the present. Unfortunately, the present can produce many hard obstacles. Fortunately, the more powerful our goals (because they are inspiring and believable), the more we will be able to act on them in the short term and guarantee that they will actually come to pass.

4 Tips for Setting Powerful Goals

So, what are the key aspects to learn and remember when studying and writing our goals? Here’s a closer look at goal setting and how you can make it forceful and practical:

1. Evaluation and Reflection

The only way we can reasonably decide what we want in the future and how we will get there is to first know where we are right now and what our current level of satisfaction is. With our focus on goal setting, the first order of business is for each of us to set aside some serious time for evaluation and reflection.

2. Dreams and Goals

What are your dreams and goals? Not related to the past or what you think you can get, but what you want. Have you ever really sat down, thought through your life values and decided what you really want? This isn’t what someone else says you should have or what culture tells us successful people do or have. These are the dreams and goals born out of your own heart and mind, goals unique to you and that comes from who you were created to be and gifted to become.

3. SMART Goals

SMART means Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Time-sensitive.

Specific: Don’t be vague. Exactly what do you want?

Measurable: Quantify your goal. How will you know if you’ve achieved it or not?

Attainable: Be honest with yourself about what you can reasonably accomplish at this point in your life while taking into consideration your current responsibilities.

Realistic: It’s got to be doable, real and practical.

Time: Associate a time frame with each goal. When should you complete the goal?

4. Accountability

The word accountable means to give an account. When someone knows what your goals are, they help hold you accountable. Whether it is someone else trying to reach the same goal with you or just someone you can give the basic idea to, having an accountability partner will give you another added boost to accomplishing your goals.

So, evaluate and reflect. Decide what you want. Be SMART. Have accountability. When you put these four key pieces together, you put yourself in a position of power to catapult toward achieving your goals and the kind of life you desire.

Evaluation and Reflection

The basis for knowing where we want to go is knowing where we came from and where we are. It is also knowing how well we have done achieving things we have previously set our eyes on. This is the essence of evaluation and reflection. We need to understand how to look at what we have done and then use that as a platform for what we want to do next.

The process of evaluation is relatively simple but can be varied a bit. The important point is having a process. Here is the basic process for evaluation and reflection:

1. Find a quiet place.

Reflection is best done away from distraction. It gives your mind space to think.

2. Take regular time.

Whether it is once a week, every other week, once a month or quarter, be sure to set aside regular time at regular intervals to evaluate and reflect.

3. Look back.

Look at what you have accomplished and where you are. Be specific. Be truthful. Be ruthlessly honest.

4. Write it down.

Keep a record. This gives you the chance at the next stage of evaluation to see exactly where you were last time and keeps it as objective as possible.

5. Look forward.

Set your next goal. Stretch yourself according to what works for you.

Why evaluate?

The purpose of the evaluation is twofold. First, it gives you an objective way to look at your accomplishments and your pursuit of the vision you have for your life. Second, it shows you where you are so you can determine where you need to go. Evaluation gives you a baseline from which to work.

“The unexamined life is not worth living.” To evaluate and reflect brings us face to face with who we are. More important, it allows us the time to dream and create a vision for what we want to become. Only when we take time out of our busy schedules can we get into the state of mind and quietness of heart we need in order to find that inner place.

Those who never take time to evaluate and reflect will blow to and fro through this life, living by the forces of culture, circumstances, societal pressures and, unfortunately, personal weaknesses.

In contrast, those who take the time to evaluate will find they are like an oak tree in a storm: They have a firm foundation, they know where they are going, they know how to get there, and, ultimately, they will get there no matter what comes their way.

Take a couple of hours this week to evaluate and reflect. See where you are and note it in your journal so that as the months progress and you continue a regular time of evaluation and reflection, you will see just how much ground you’re gaining—and that will be exciting!

Dreams and Goals

One of the amazing things we have been given as humans is the unquenchable desire to have dreams of a better life and the ability to establish and set goals to live out those dreams.

We can look deep within our hearts and dream of a better situation for ourselves and our families. We can dream of better financial, emotional, spiritual or physical lives. We have also been given the ability to not only dream, but pursue those dreams—and not just pursue them, but the cognitive ability to lay out a plan and strategies to achieve those dreams. Powerful!

What are your dreams and goals? This isn’t what you already have or what you have done, but what you want. Have you ever really sat down and thought through your life values and decided what you really want? Have you ever taken the time to truly reflect, to listen quietly to your heart, to see what dreams live within you? Your dreams are there. Everyone has them. They may live right on the surface, or they may be buried deep from years of others telling you they were foolish, but they are there.

You have to ask the hard questions to get excited about your dreams, and then you have to translate that excitement into strategic action to pursue all that you want. These are the disciplines that will help unleash the power of the dreams inside of you:

Listen to yourself.

How do we know what our dreams are? This is an interesting process and relates primarily to the art of listening. This is not listening to others; it is listening to yourself. If we listen to others, we hear their plans and dreams, and, at times, others will try to put their plans and dreams on us. If we listen to others, we can never be fulfilled. We will only chase elusive dreams that are not rooted deep within us.

Instead, we must listen to our own hearts to hear the dreams born out of the passions and desires we each uniquely possess. Just like when you are quiet enough to hear your own heart beating within your chest, your dreams have their own rhythm. All you have to do is get quiet enough to hear the beat.

Take time to be quiet.

Taking the time to be quiet is something we don’t do enough in this busy world. We rush, rush, rush and are constantly listening to noise all around us. We must not get faked out by just being busy. Instead, we must constantly ask ourselves the question, “Busy doing what?” In other words, are the activities you are participating in moving you toward your goals? If not, then work to eliminate those things and replace some of that time with quiet.

The human heart was meant to have times of quiet reflection, allowing us to peer deep within ourselves. It is when we do this that our hearts are set free to soar and take flight on the wings of our own dreams. Schedule some quiet “dream time” this week. No other people. No cellphone. No computer. Just you, a pad, a pen, and your thoughts.

Think about what really thrills you. When you are quiet, think about those things that really get your blood moving. What would you love to do, either for fun or for a living? What would you love to accomplish? What would you try if you were guaranteed to succeed? What big thoughts move your heart into a state of excitement and joy? When you answer these questions, you’ll feel terrific because you’re in the “dream zone.” It is only when we get to this point that we can truly realize and begin to experience what our dreams are.

Make a list and prioritize.

Write down all of your dreams as you have them. Don’t think of any as too outlandish or foolish— remember, you’re dreaming! Let your thoughts and pen fly as you take careful records.

Now look at your list and prioritize those dreams. Which are the most important? Which are the most feasible? Which would you love to do the most? Put them in the order you will actually try to attain them. Remember, we are always moving toward action, not just dreaming.

Why am I asking you to take part in this exercise? It’s because life is too short not to pursue your dreams. At the end of your life, all you will be able to do is look backward. You can reflect with joy or regret. And we all know that joy from discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons.

Those who dream, who set goals and act on them, are those who live lives of joy and have a sense of peace when they near the end of their lives. They will have finished well and possessed a sense of pride and accomplishment, not only for themselves but also for their families. That feeling is priceless!

Remember: These are the dreams and goals born out of your heart and mind, goals unique to you, and they come from who you were created to be and gifted to become. Your specific goals are what you want to achieve because they will make your life joyful and bring fulfillment for both you and your family.

SMART Goals

The acronym SMART is one of the key aspects of goal setting because we want to be smart when we set our goals. We want to intelligently decide what our goals will be so that we can actually accomplish them. We want to set the goals that our heart conceives, that our mind believes and that our bodies will carry out. Let’s take an even closer look at each of the components of SMART goals:

Specific

Goals are no place to waffle. They are no place to be vague. Ambiguous goals produce ambiguous results. Incomplete goals produce incomplete futures. When we are specific, we harness the power of our dreams and set forces into action that empower us to achieve our goals. We then know exactly what it is we are shooting for—there is no question.

As we establish our priorities and manage our time, we do it for a specific goal, to achieve the results we expect. There is no wondering or guessing. The future is locked into our minds, and we see it—specifically—and that is powerful! Never underestimate just how important it is to have very specific, concrete goals. They act as magnets that draw you toward them. A SMART goal is specific.

Measurable

Always set goals that are measurable—“specifically measurable” to take into account the principle of being specific, as well. Our goals should be such that we know when we are advancing and by how much. Whether it is by hours, pounds, dollars or some other scale, we should be able to see exactly how we are measuring up as we journey through life using our goals. Imagine if you didn’t measure your goals. You would never know which way you were going, or even if you were going anywhere. A SMART goal is measurable.

Attainable

One of the detrimental things many people do—and they do it with good intentions—is to set goals that are unattainable. While it’s very important to set big goals that cause your heart to soar with excitement, it is also imperative to make sure they are attainable.

An attainable goal is one that is both realistic and doable in a shorter period of time than what you have to work with. “Attainable” doesn’t mean easy. Our goals should be set so that they are just out of our reach so that they challenge us to grow as we reach forward to achieve them. A SMART goal is attainable.

Realistic

The root word of realistic is real. A goal has to be something that we can reasonably make “real” or a “reality” in our lives. There are some goals that are simply not realistic. You have to be able to say, even if it is a tremendously stretched goal, that it is entirely realistic—that you could make it. You may have to say that it will take X, Y, and Z to do it, but if those happen, then it can be done.

This is in no way to say it shouldn’t be a big goal, but that goal must be realistic. This is, to a great degree, up to the individual. For one person, a goal may be realistic, but for another, unrealistic. Be very honest with yourself as you do your planning and evaluation. It might be good to get a friend to help you, as long as that friend is by nature an optimist and not a pessimist. This can go a long way toward helping you know what is realistic.

Knowing that perhaps you could use a bit of help differentiating between attainable and realistic, here is an example: Let’s say you are overweight and need to lose 150 pounds to get to your ideal weight. Is that goal attainable? Yes, if you also make it realistic. For example, it isn’t realistic to think you can do it in five months. Eighteen to 24 months would be more realistic (with hard work). Thus, losing 150 pounds in two years is both attainable and realistic, while losing 150 pounds in five months is neither attainable nor realistic. A SMART goal is realistic.

Time-sensitive

One of the powerful aspects of a great goal is that it has an end, a time in which you are shooting to accomplish it. You start working because you know there is an end, and as time goes by, you work because you don’t want to get behind. As the deadline approaches, you work diligently because you want to meet that deadline. It’s a good idea to break a big goal down into different parts of measurement and time frames. Set smaller goals and work them out in their own time. A SMART goal has a timeline.

Accountability

Now let’s look at how to apply the SMART test to your goals and ensure they are powerful.

As a contract with yourself or someone else, accountability is a vital key in the goal-setting process. Accountability puts some teeth into the process. If a goal is set and only one person knows it, does it really have any power? Many times it doesn’t. At the very least, it isn’t as powerful.

When someone knows what your goals are, they follow up and hold you accountable by asking you to “give an account” of where you are in the process. Human nature is such that when we know someone else is going to ask us about it, we are much more motivated to get it done—if for no other reason than we don’t want to look lazy and uncommitted. This is why having an accountability partner is so important.

In the basic sense, there are two kinds of accountability: internal and external.

Internal Accountability

Internal accountability is essentially the level of integrity you maintain not only throughout the evaluation process but also in life. It means that when you look at yourself, you judge yourself with honesty. This is where you hold yourself accountable to doing what you said you would do. If you’ve messed up, say, “I’ve messed up,” but if you’ve done well, then you can celebrate your progress. Let the internal accountability prod you and spur you on to greater action in pursuit of your achievements.

So, first and foremost, it is our responsibility to hold ourselves accountable. We answer to ourselves. We take charge of ourselves. How do we do that? Here are a few ideas:

Write down your goals so they become “objective.” You can’t go back and say, “That wasn’t really my goal.”

Be ruthlessly honest with yourself when you assess whether or not you have met the goal. Of course, if you were specific in setting your SMART goals, you won’t have much wiggle room here, anyway.

If you fall short of your goal, or if you are falling short while on the way, knuckle down and hold yourself accountable to do what it takes to make up the ground so that you can hit that goal!

Set a time frame in which you will evaluate your progress and hold yourself accountable.

External Accountability

Find someone else or a group of others to hold you accountable. When we commit to giving an account to someone else for our actions and goals, we take it to the next level.

The external part of accountability will not work without the internal aspect. If you are not honest with yourself, then you will probably not be honest with others. Asking someone to hold you accountable and then knowing you won’t be completely honest with them will never work.

Having an outside source of accountability is a powerful force if done right. Here are a few things to keep in mind as you set up an accountability partner:

Choose someone who cares about you but can be tough and honest with you. They need to care about you—and you have to know and feel that care—because you become vulnerable by making yourself accountable to them. They need to be tough and honest, though, because you don’t want to have them shy away from telling you to get on the ball when you’re slacking, getting behind or not doing the job. The expression “tough love” would fit appropriately here. In essence, they love us enough to be honest with us about our progress.

Tell them specifically what your goals are.

Commit to being honest with them.

Give them permission to speak words of encouragement, as well as words of a challenge when the situation calls for it.

Agree on a reasonable time frame in which you will allow them to evaluate your progress and hold you accountable.

Follow up on their words when they challenge you or call you to action.

Accountability can be a tremendous thing. There is an old proverb that says one can put a thousand to flight, but two can put 10,000 to flight. When we have someone holding us accountable, we bring others onto our team who will make us stronger, who will make us soar higher and who will cause our lives to be much richer because of their involvement.

Take a moment and really consider who you will make yourself accountable to in the pursuit of your goals. Now, go back through the words above and begin to work this process out in your own life. You will be extraordinarily glad you did.

Goal Setting Challenges You

Let your goals challenge you to become a unique person of incredible dimensions, not necessarily in anyone else’s eyes, but in your own eyes.

It doesn’t matter whether someone thinks I’m short or tall, but it matters if I stand tall in my own eyes—because I know my disciplines, I know what I’m doing, I know whether I’m doing it or not doing it. I know that I’m paying the price and that I deserve the applause and I deserve the prize. That’s what’s exciting. That’s why this goal setting is so important. It challenges you to grow. It challenges you to become more than you are, to move up to the next level. And that’s key.

Adapted from The Jim Rohn Guide to Goal Setting

A note on this guide: The text of this guide is based on the transcripts of Jim Rohn’s most popular lectures and writings on the subject of personal development. His original words have been transcribed, edited, rearranged and slightly modified in some instances for greater clarity. As you read, you may recognize a familiar pace to the text. It is our hope that Jim’s easy conversational tone and speaking style come across as you read the life philosophies and success principles that are as relevant today as they were when he first expressed them.

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4 Tips for Setting Powerful Goals By Jim Rohn Goal setting is a fantastic skill to develop, and how you design your own future.