#will take any opportunity to throw appreciation gratitude and affection at my best friend

[commander-hanji-zoe]

Valentine’s Day Headcanons

Oh look some Valentine’s Day headcanons that I should have posted a few weeks ago (I still have two Valentine’s Day requests which I’m hoping to finish tomorrow along with my oldest other request. 

This are very, very basic headcanons. Being honest, there wasn’t the same level of thought in these as my usual writing and I didn’t try to do anything flowery with the language. I just saw Valentine’s Day as an opportunity to write some quick thoughts down, hope you enjoy anyway! I decided to include Gelgar & Nile in this. 

Levi 

To Levi Valentine’s Day really is just another day and he doesn’t get the fuss around it.

That being said he’ll still buy his partner a card and something to go with it, usually a nice bottle of wine or some elegant flowers. 

Thinks it’s silly he needs a day to say I love you - though he isn’t a man who says ‘I love you’ very often at all, he’d rather show it with actions. 

If he’s single it doesn’t really bother him, he’s too busy with work to really notice what the day even is. 

Gets annoyed at the younger cadets if they’re over excited and suffers terribly from second-hand embarrassment when he witnesses 

Mike 

Loves Valentine’s Day but more in a private way. He loves seeing others happy, but when it comes to his partner/someone he’s interested in, it’s more of a subtle affair in public. 

Would much rather cook for his partner than go out to dinner, that way they can be as romantic & touchy/feely as possible without others watching.

Is big on Valentine’s underwear and has special outfits of his own - yup Mike is definitely one with a fondness for love heart boxers. 

Will buy the biggest bunch of flowers, that even he finds a bit embarrassing when he sends them to his partner/the person he has a crush on. 

Is into cute gestures he can repeat every year, like puzzles/a treasure hunt his partner will need to solve to find their gift.

Really loves the annual gifts from Hanji and agrees that it shouldn’t just be a day to celebration romantic love or sexual attraction, rather it’s a day to show love and gratitude to friends/family, all those who mean something to him. 

Nanaba

Enjoys it but like Levi, Valentine’s Day isn’t the be all and end all and certainly isn’t a highlight in her calendar.

If she’s dating someone that she of course appreciates the card, flowers etc. And will always do her best to find the perfect card and make her partner something nice like a cake. 

Will go a little easy on the cadets but is quick to put her foot down if they get too silly or carried away - romance isn’t an excuse to not pay attention. 

Might wear something very small to hint at what the day is (like a love heart shaped nose stud). I don’t see Nanaba wearing red, but I think she’d enjoy having small pieces of jewellery set aside for holidays.

Blushes surprisingly easily, whether she’s with someone and they send her flowers or if she gets something from a secret admirer she might privately have a little ‘squeeee’ moments and then take a few deep breaths and it’s back to being calm and collected. 

Hanji 

Will buy little heart shaped chocolates to give to the other vets and makes cards by hand for all of them. 

Hugs everyone they care about, extra hugs for Levi. 

If waking up in bed with the one they love Hanji would be one to make Valentine’s Day breakfast in bed and return wearing nothing but an apron. 

Definitely makes a card and ‘special meal’ for any titans they have in captivity. 

Very much the match-maker and if they know two people like one another, but are being hopeless at showing it - they’re sure to intervene or nudge them in the right direction. 

Puts in a level of effort into their outfit if on a date which other’s wouldn’t necessarily expect from them. Will actually get a little annoyed if anyone comments that ‘finally they’ve had a shower’ and explains rather abruptly that it isn’t that they don’t like showers/wearing nice scents, but work is too busy for such trivial matters! 

Erwin 

Timeless & classic when it comes to Valentine’s Day, he’s into old school romancing and will book a fancy meal out.

Definitely one to wear a smart suit and jacket out on a date, even if it isn’t really cold enough for a jacket he’ll wear one in case his partner gets cold so he has it to hand. 

During the day he doesn’t pay much attention to it, he’s happy if others want to decorate the barracks and have an exchange of cards etc. That doesn’t mean he wants to be involved. 

Is used to receiving numerous cards from secret admirers, after all he is Commander Handsome. He blushes quite easily at these and if teased by the other vets might get a little annoyed, but Erwin is good at playing it cool. 

Moblit 

Secretly he does look forward to Valentine’s Day, it’s not really something he’ll admit out loud, accept to Hanji of course. But dreads it in equal measures.

Is more about the home made gestures than buying lavish gifts for the person he likes. 

Isn’t very good at keeping secrets, so if he sends a card to someone he likes from their ‘secret admirer’ he’ll probably tell them before the day is over.

Does work himself up a bit in the week leading up to Valentine’s Day. He has a tendency to play out scenarios in his head and for some reason they often end up as worst case.

Might style his hair slightly different for the day if there’s someone he likes, it’s a way to get their attention and a talking point. 

Nile 

Pretends he doesn’t care about Valentine’s Day, but if he doesn’t get any cards he will be sad. 

If he gets a card he’ll shrug it off as mushy, he might even pretend to throw it away but secretly he’ll pick it up again later.

Practises pick-up lines in his mirror before approaching someone he likes. 

Is very sweet on a one to one basis and is happy to take his partner/date out for a very romantic meal. Not afraid to show affection in public once he is with someone, it’s quite a spectacular shift. 

Gelgar 

He’ll find a pub/tavern somewhere to drink away his sorrows, probably. 

I see him as being really clumsy when it comes to declarations of love - he definitely falls in love easily and when he falls he falls hard. Expect stuttering and stopping mid declaration to down whatever he’s drinking for a little more courage. The words don’t come out the right way and sometimes don’t make sense, but it’s easy to tell what he’s trying to say.

Sends over the top bouquets of flowers and a bottle of wine to the person he has a crush on, hinting heavily that the wine is to be shared. 

A few modern headcanons

Those who enjoy snapchat/insta filters - Mike, likes to make himself look like a cat or a bunny with love hearts floating around him. Hanji also would enjoy them - Erwin tries to figure it out but ends up turning himself into a slice of pizza or something. 

Who plans the Valentine’s Day ball? Hanji & Moblit make the best team for this particular task. Though it’s a ball at an ice skating rink or roller rink, they like to plan something super fun that everyone can enjoy with friends regardless of relationship status. 

The person who gets to the card shop before it opens to avoid people? Levi 100 times.

Who buys the Valentine’s Day meal - 2 mains, a dessert and bottle of wine from the local chain supermarket? Probably Moblit.

Enjoys a cinema trip to see a chick-flick with their friends instead of worrying about dates. Nanaba

[fandammit]

Look how long this love can hold its breath (2/4)

Part 1

A/N: Another ~2500 words of Ben Gross character study/slow (I mean sloooow) burn Devi x Ben romance. 

*******

He spends the next two days after the party replaying his back to back attempts at kissing Devi, then the way he had just stood frozen in place as Paxton helped her out of the pool.

By that time, Shira had emerged from...wherever it was she had been and had draped her arm around him, and the combined weight of that and the guilt he felt from making a move on Devi when he was still in a relationship with her had rooted him in place.

So he’d just watched as Devi had had what probably should’ve been a private confrontation with her closest friends in front of the entire school, then as Paxton had rushed in to save the day and whisked her away to take her home.

He’d hate Paxton if he wasn’t so thoroughly disgusted with himself, and he’s at least not so selfish that he isn't glad that Devi at least has someone there for her at the exact moment she needs it, since he's apparently too much of a coward to be it.

His one saving grace for the night was that he’d managed not to be a total shithead. He’d waited until most everyone was gone or too drunk to really know what’s going on, then pulled Shira aside.

“Hey, so.” He’d taken a deep breath in and then breathed out again slowly. “I think we should break up.”

He had steeled himself then, ready to give a long and genuine apology about how it wasn’t her -- she’s beautiful and popular and he knows he’s lucky she even spent this long with him -- it was him. He’d been ready to talk about how sorry he was to do this to her, how he knew she’d find someone again soon and he wished her the best.

But she’d just given him a bored look and said ok, then left the room with a listless wave.  

******* After nearly a year together, it turns out that his relationship with Shira is approximately the equivalent of a half-hearted shrug, which might make him sad if he wasn’t spending all of his waking hours thinking about what to say to Devi when he eventually has to talk to her about what happened at his party.

He'd run after her at the moment and blamed it on the alcohol -- and that had held at the time -- but he isn’t so sure it’ll hold up in the bright light of day.

What scares him isn’t some delusion -- and he knows it’s a delusion -- about Devi holding some kind of more-than-friends affection for him, but the very real threat that he’s lost the opportunity to actually be her friend at all.

The awful, boundless loneliness of going back to just being her enemy instead of her maybe, sometimes, somewhat friend seems unbearable. Not now that he knows how much lighter he feels when they stand on solid ground next to each other rather than just trying to claw each other down to get ahead.

He really wants to insist that he was drunk and stupid and that he didn’t mean it, even if saying that second part out loud makes him feel a little bit sick -- as if the lie is too much for his stomach to hold.

Or else that he’d just been so lonely and grateful that someone gave him a present and he’d been drunk enough to let that gratitude manifest in affection, and that it wasn’t her, specifically -- he’d have kissed anyone in that moment who’d given him a present. He’d have kissed his dentist for sending him that postcard.

He so desperately wants those things to be true -- like, more than he wants the Clippers to win the title or his mom and dad to spend more than a week at home with him. More than he wants to be valedictorian at the end of high school.

Because he knows the last thing he needs to do is admit that it wasn’t the alcohol or the present or the fact that it was his birthday and he was feeling alone despite the crowded house. Because admitting that would mean admitting that he had tried to kiss Devi simply because he wanted to kiss her. Because she had looked pretty in the dimness of the theater room, and he’d looked at her lips and suddenly realized (or maybe let himself admit) it wasn’t the first he’d wondered how they might feel. That somewhere along the way the warm sensation in the center of his chest whenever he looked at her wasn’t spite, but something softer, something more tender and dangerous and hopeless.

“Goddammit,” he says out loud in the darkness of his empty room, which is weird for two reasons: he almost never cusses and he’s talking out loud to absolutely no one.

Still, it helps, kind of, so he keeps going.

“God. Fucking. Dammit.”

And then because he can’t bear to say that one particular truth out loud, he switches it for one that he can; stares straight up into the emptiness of his dark room and says through gritted teeth: “You are an entire fucking idiot, Ben Gross.”

*******

It takes another day for him to work up the courage to talk about what happened that night, which is ridiculous because the tactic he lands on has all the grace of a daytime soap: feigned amnesia.

So he stutters through some half-assed explanation about what he may or may not have done, about not wanting things to be weird, and how they shouldn’t be weird because, hey after all he couldn’t remember anything, so they should be ok.

She looks somewhere between thoughtful and skeptical, which makes sense because Devi’s not stupid. She is, in fact, the exact opposite of stupid, which is something that has frustrated and motivated and enticed him at various turns in their rivalry.

He figures he’s about half a minute away from her calling him on his lie, and he steels himself for whatever sharp-edged insult he’s about to get deservedly thrown his way.

Which is why he’s stunned into silence when she doesn’t insult him at all, but instead asks if she can move in with him.

“I’m sorry, what now?” He asks -- you know, once he’s able to get his brain to function properly and his mouth moving like it’s supposed to.

She sighs heavily, and he notices for the first time how tired she looks -- almost defeated. Which throws him off even more than Devi Vishwakumar asking if she can move in with him, because he’s never even seen her look humbled -- and God knows he’s tried.

“Before you say no --.”

“I’m not gonna say no, Devi.” He interrupts, and the relieved smile on her face is enough to make him want to give her almost anything she might ask for. “I’m just -- is everything ok?”

He expects her to say something sarcastic, something along the lines that the simple fact that she’s even asking him means that her world has gone terribly wrong.

But she doesn’t say that. In fact, for a long moment she doesn’t say anything at all, just closes her locker and leans against it with her head kinda bowed.

“Uh, Devi?”

He moves closer to her and it’s almost as if he can feel the misery coming off her in waves. Some remote part of him clocks the fact that like two years ago this would’ve felt sweet; now he just feels alarmed and a little panicked, his anxiety settling along his skin like an itchy rash.

She looks up at him and he’s close enough to see the brightness of unshed tears in her eyes. His eyes widen in shock as he moves closer to her -- not to touch her, because he doesn’t think she’d actually appreciate that from him right now, but to block the gaze of any random passerby in the halls. Half their class have seen Devi lose her temper, but next to no one has seen her cry, and he thinks she’d probably prefer to keep it that way.

“Hey,” he says softly, ducking his head down to meet her lowered gaze. “I just need to ask my parents, but I already know they’re gonna say yes.” He chews on his lower lip. “Is there anything else I can help with?”

“Not unless you can convince my mom not to move us to India.”

He blinks rapidly at that.

“Wh -- what?”

She nods, lines of misery settling along the shape of her mouth.

“That’s why I need to move in with you. I can’t just, like, go back home and be there with mom, knowing that she’s just gonna whisk us off to India.” She shakes her head. “I can’t be around her, Ben.”

“Ye -- yeah, ok, definitely, sure.” He says, trying to process what she’s saying. He takes a deep breath and gives her a small smile. “It’s no problem, David. You can stay with me however long you need to.”

*******

“So, this is the guest room,” he says, opening the door. “Well, one of them.” He gestures towards the closed door on the far side of the room. “This one has the best bathroom though.”  

She raises an eyebrow at that, then walks past him and sets her bag on the bed. She turns around and scoots onto the bed.

“I -- uh -- really appreciate this Ben,” she says, and it’s the first time he can ever remember her actually seeming shy. “I know it must suck to have your rival in the house with you.”

His face twists involuntarily when she calls herself his rival, and he can see the flicker of confusion on her face.

“Do you prefer nemesis?”

He gives her a small smile.

“I was thinking -- .” He almost says friend, but then thinks that might be a bridge too far. “Associates? Living with someone who considers themself my nemesis makes me feel like you’re going to murder me in my sleep. ”

She rolls her eyes.

“I mean,” she says after a moment. “You are letting me stay in your house for, like, free.” She smiles. “If that doesn’t qualify as friendship, I don’t know what does.”

He shrugs and looks away, but only to hide the wide smile on his face.

He hears a knock on the door, and then his mother walks into the room.

“You all settled in sweetie?” She asks Devi with a smile.

Devi nods.

“Yes, thank you Mrs. Gross. I really appreciate this. I know having a house guest can be an imposition.”

She waves the compliment away.

“Not at all. There’s 4000 square feet in this house -- we could go days and not even see one another.” She turns to Ben. “In fact, that is literally what is going to happen this week because your father is going to Malibu for a boy’s getaway and I’m having a girls trip to Napa for the week, so we’ll be out of your hair until next Thursday.”

He gives his mom a tight smile and leans forward for her to kiss him on the cheek like he knows she will.

“And I’m so sorry we’re going to miss your band concert, sweetie,” she says and he sees Devi frown out of the corner of his eye. He glances over to her and mouths a capella, then turns back to his mom. “I promise we’ll make one of them one of these days. It’s just -- well, you know, sometimes you just need a break from parenting!”

She gives him a small hug then sashays out of the room, and he’s left with the weight of Devi’s stare.

“So, have you ever been in band?” She asks after a moment.  

He shakes his head.

“I have not.” He shrugs and gives her a smile that he knows is strained at the edges. “But I am in a lot of extracurriculars, so it can be hard to keep up.”  

She gives him a hard stare when he says that, but he has the feeling it isn’t really directed at him. He makes a weird gesture with his arms that’s halfway between it’s fine and what can you do, and thinks about how Devi’s parents have always gone to every fair, competition and exhibition they’ve ever had. They even went to the monthly award ceremonies in elementary school, where Devi would rotate between being student of month to science star of the month to best orchestra student of the month to shining art star and then back around again.  

His, it should go without saying, have never gone to any of his events -- a fact that it seems like Devi is now realizing by the expression on her face.

“When’s your A Capella concert?” She asks after moment. 

“Tomorrow night.”

“First one of the year?”

He nods.

“Yeah, so it probably won’t be our best one.” He grins at her. “I mean, I’m going to be awesome, obviously, but the rest of the group -- they don’t quite have my talent.”

She rolls her eyes.

“Alright, Will Schuester, leave me alone so I can unpack.”

“Ok, first of all, that’s glee club and it’s completely different,” he says, as he turns to go. “And also, I’m clearly Finn Hudson.”

“You’re a freaking dork is what you are,” she yells behind him, but even with his back turned he can tell she says it with a smile.

*******

Their A Capella concerts never have a very big audience, which makes it easy to spot Devi in the third row of the auditorium the next night at his concert. She gives him a small wave and a thumbs up from where she’s sitting, and he smiles so widely at her that his cheeks hurt a little bit.

The concert goes pretty well, all things considered. He is obviously the best part of it -- that part wasn’t a brag to Devi. Well, it wasn’t solely a brag. 

He emerges from the chorus room and out into the lobby as soon as its over, not even stopping to help tidy up the room as he usually does to score brownie points. 

He scans the lobby and sees Devi standing in the far corner, her hands in her pockets as she scans the room for him. 

“David,” he calls out and walks over to where she’s standing. He tells himself he’s a little bit breathless because of all the singing he’s just done. “You didn’t have to come.”

She shrugs.

“I know.” She gestures to the program in her hands. “It’s actually a lot cooler than I thought it’d be, though it’s nothing like Pitch Perfect.”  

He scoffs.

“I mean, this is just a concert -- you should see what it’s like at regionals.”

“Ooh, do you guys have a sing-off in the parking lot?”

“One sing-off, David? More like you can’t go anywhere at regionals without getting challenged to a sing-off.”

She laughs, and he gives her a sidelong glance.

“So you, uh, you don’t think it’s weird and nerdy?”

She shakes her head.

“No, it is definitely still weird and nerdy, but, like, in a cool way.”

He grins at her.

“Thanks for coming -- it’s the first time anyone’s ever been there for me.” He catches the look on her face -- a flash of something that could be anger, could be incredulity, could be sadness -- and furrows his brows. “What?”

She shakes her head.

“Nothing.” She smiles at him. “I’m glad I came.”

He smiles back at her. 

“Me too.”

[dontknockitkid]

Farewell

You knew this one was coming haha

I never posted anything on social media about baseball being over for me because I didn’t want to accept it, acknowledge it, or over-romanticize the ending of a simple game for me.

But I will, however, write this;

These are my sentiments about a game that had an exceptional part in molding me into the man that I am today. I will never communicate anything like this again, unless it’s in person and verbal and only if someone asks.

Here i present to you, Chris Ramirez, the baseball player.

First and foremost, I feel the need to give the greatest gratitude and praises to God for blessing me through my baseball years without a debilitating injury. I never broke, severely strained, pulled, or tore anything in the 16 years of constant travel, overhead motions, conditioning, or weightlifting. I praise my almighty God for that absolute blessing. With saying that, I’m not talking down to anyone who has had one because I’ve realized how anxious it makes athletes as well as how much it affects their confidence, self-esteem, sense of worth, and identity. I truly feel for those who have been affected by the unforeseen traumas of athletics.

Now, for the tear-jerky portion of my outpouring.

My dad has told me that he wanted to sign me up to play little league baseball when I was younger, but my mom was opposed to the idea because she said it was dangerous and I might get hurt. My dad, being the person that he is, went on to sign me up at South Side Little League in south Oxnard, CA. I make sure to specify SOUTH Oxnard because it was the most rag-tag, blue-collared, league in Oxnard (in my opinion of course). Being in this league for the first couple years of baseball made me the humble, quiet player that I was because we always played (and were crushed) by the surrounding, more wealthier and supported, leagues. The best thing about my younger years (pre-high school), was the traveling. Specifically the long drives I had with my dad. We would drive 3-4 hours and basically spend the weekend together. We would wake up early, go to the nearest McDonald’s, and then head to the sports complex. Those are some of the moments, weekends, and trips that I will cherish the most regarding baseball because they constructed the relationship I came to have with my dad. My dad went to as many games as he could, but the majority of games I either had to hitch a ride with a coach or teammate, and he would show up whenever he was able to. Both my mom and dad have supported and been there for me after every great and terrible game to give their unique feedback (you sucked today but we still love you; keep fighting kid. You have unbelievable potential.) I held on to each and every pre- and post-game talk with my dad because above all else, he was PRESENT. He cared about what I had to say and how I felt about my performance, and he absolutely 100% knew that I cared what he saw or had to say (even though after the tough losses I acted like I didn’t want to hear anything from him at times, but like a young boy, I yearned for my father’s edification and approval). They provided the life and the beautiful days I would never EVER take back, and seeing them smile at me and say they’re proud of me when I didn’t get drafted, had my last start, and graduated college meant the entire world to me.

Now, while I’m talking about my family, I wanted to include a few words for the village that raised me.

These pictures are from my very last season of baseball, but it embodies the support I’ve received from my beautiful family. From fundraisers, to them traveling/camping overnight for several days to see me play (succeed, and sometimes really suck, which often made me really sad), I am forever grateful for their presence. My brothers, Angel and Kevin would often help me forget about a tough loss by providing laughs that turned into happy tears, as well as celebrating with me when I had a great game. Their hugs and affirming, congratulatory presence throughout my life have fueled me to be a respectable sibling. I have always wanted to make them proud of me. I value the photos we have together in our baseball uniforms growing up, as well as the ones we took when they came to visit and watch in Vegas and southern Cali. Even more so than the photos, the moments I was blessed to experience when I hugged them and told them that I loved them after a game or after having not seen them in months, are where my love during those years rests. Te quiero muchisimo mis hermanos. Cousins, Tia’s and Tio’s, family friends, who have housed me on my trips, and let me crash on the couch or guest bedroom for a night or two as I was making my way across the country or back home, I love you. You have no idea how grateful I am for your gracious hospitality. It is and always has been truly heartbreaking as a little kid knowing I wasn’t able to make a baseball trip because of insufficient funds. My parents have done everything that they could to make sure I was able to go to at least a couple trips growing up, and I tear up just thinking about how they made it all possible. I am so thankful for the limited opportunities because it made me appreciate each and every one of them a whole lot more. I love you, mi familia. Near and far, familial and friend.

I couldn’t write something like this without mentioning my coaches. The men (and their wives because if you know anything about coaching, it is a HUGE commitment and sometimes takes a toll on their families. So if any of my coaches’ wives read this, THANK YOU for being patient, kind, and supportive to the men that helped mold me physically, emotionally, and spiritually) that took their time showing me how to simply throw a small object wherever I wanted it to go with controlled aggression, allowed me to spend a good-sized portion of my life having the most fun I’ve had playing a little kid’s game.

I wanted to give a special and heartfelt thank you to my friend, brother in Christ, and former pitching coach Matt Merricks because he (by God’s wondrous grace) developed a form of pitching that incorporated your walk with Christ. Once I was saved by God and my world changed forever, I also became a different type of pitcher, and Matt was there to help refine the explosion of my new heart in Christ. Thank you forever Matt, you helped a young boy understand what it takes to heave a baseball and leave it up to God from there as soon as it left my fingertips, as well as doing the same in life.

To my amazing teammates:

To say you guys have changed my life would be the biggest understatement ever. My boys at Channel Islands and the surrounding high schools who I became so close with, you guys gave me afternoons worth enjoying. You made Oxnard and SoCal a place that tore my heart leaving, but oh so wonderful reflecting back on. If I wrote a small little paragraph for each person or year of baseball, this blog would span a lifetime haha, but I’ll keep it short and to the point.

Channel Islands: Jonny, Isaiah, Matt, Beto, Alfred, Ricky, Manny, Micah, Felipe, Greg, Miles, Anthony, Ray Ray, Leo, Wade, Josh, Stefon, and a few others who were my little tribe in high school: thank you for riding through it all with me. All the high school shenanigans, trouble-making, talks about girls, long days of practice and conditioning, were boosted to absolute nostalgia because of all of you. The memories jam packed at that one school and ball field, are some of my most cherished moments of my upbringing. People always say that you should go to college because those are supposedly the best years of your life, but in all honesty, these years are a definite close Second haha. I can still remember and feel the deep belly laughs at jack in the box, trips to fresh and easy, and countless other get-togethers I will not mention because some of my family might read this eventually hahaha

I love you, and I pray you all are doing well.

Colorado Northwestern:

A small junior college in Rangely, CO was the perfect place for my collegiate baseball career to kick into gear. Why? Because of these guys: Joe, Ricky, Alaska, Mikey, Cado, Nies, Chase, Trevar, Colin, Tanner, Riding, Hoff, Texas, the Woods brothers, Naus, Cory, and several others who brought seriously so much happiness to my days there. At a low point in my life, you guys helped keep me afloat by your jokes, brotherhood, invitations, inclusivity, and acceptance of a new direction I was going in life. You supported me, held me accountable at the late hours of the evenings, and poured into me when I really needed a laugh, friend, or a late night/early morning trip to Vernal or the gas station. The trips we took to the lake, the hikes behind the school, phenomenal bonfires at red rocks, runs up and down Kennedy, when we discovered the “rollercoaster”, and post-game dinners in the caf; dang, I freakin miss that small little school in that small little town.

If you didn’t see your name, don’t take it personally I promise. Even if you were only at that specific school for a couple weeks, you still were part of my experience and growth, and for that I am forever grateful for you all.

Mesa:

Finally, my Mesa family.

Not enough words could describe the absolute excitement and gratitude I had entering a program that was notorious for having a winning record, playing home games at the same stadium the junior college World Series is held, and where a minor league Colorado Rockies affiliate resides. I talked about the anticipation and excitement that was literally almost oozing out of me to every person that would listen, and I want to take a moment here and thank each person that listened to my gripes, groans, and endless soliloquys about a little boy’s dream coming true. You may not have known it at the time, but those moments and conversations built me up (or how us young people say it these days, “it HYPED ME UP”) and encouraged me to live up to the “hype” that I was giving myself haha

Colorado Mesa is where I bore my fruit; the fruit I had worked so endlessly for throughout my life. I was crafted and molded into the pitcher I would come to be my sophomore year at CNCC (and that summer), and CMU is where it all flourished. The grit was there; the motivation was there; the humility; the approach; the passion; the youthful zeal (you’re gonna hear me say that NUMEROUS times throughout my written pieces, so you better get familiar with it because it’s one of my favorite phrases). Everything was already in place, by God’s gracious love, and now it was time to showcase it. Soli Deo Gloria style. Coram Deo style.

Pitching at CMU was everything I’d hoped it would be and so much more. Having the opportunity to pitch in a rotation that included some of the best pitchers in the nation was a dream come true for a little kid from South Oxnard. My friends and roommates making their way over to the stadium on some Saturday or Sunday afternoon would come to be one of my favorite memories of putting on that creme colored jersey and doing what I loved. Now instead of making this a 55 page blog post, I’m just gonna talk about the memories that stand out the most:

I’ll start with the entire 2017 season. The 2017 season came with a ton of extraordinary moments, some of which I’ll go into a bit of detail soon, but it also came with devastating news that would lead to the season’s mantra and future banner of pride, brotherhood, and hardwork. A ball player and dear friend to many named Ryan Teixeira past away from his second battle with cancer. His wake and funeral services in California were unbelievably moving, and I couldn’t help but admire (and absolutely sob) on how unashamed of the gospel his family was at his funeral service. They were bold, broken, vulnerable, but stood firm on the promises of God. It was truly spectacular. May Ryan rest in glory.

I had the best year of baseball in 2017. Although my sophomore year at CNCC was super wonderful, I cannot compare the two as to which one was better than the other because each one was vastly different. At Mesa;

- I experienced a beautiful Friday night fireworks celebration after breaking a school win-streak. The stadium was as full as it ever had been while we were playing in it, and there was this aura of happiness and genuine enjoyment, regardless of wherever you were sitting (even in the visitor section). Fireworks and baseball have always been like peanut butter and jelly, ham and burger, salt and pepper, and tyga and Chris brown. 😂

- I flew for the first time (in a private airplane at that) to play in a regional tournament, as well as a D2 World Series. This playoff experience had me almost in tears thanking God for getting our team and I to that point in order for us to experience and excel in an environment like that. I pitched the BEST two games in my life that season (complete game shut-out against the #1 team in the region at their home field to eliminate them and send us to the championship, and a complete game win against the #1 team in the nation to eliminate them and send us to the semi-finals in the World Series).

Baseball is boring to a lot of people; I’ll admit I even think it’s boring sometimes, but I found an aspect that was worth cherishing the boredom forever. Through this game God gave me memories, friends for a lifetime, extreme frustration and anger, absolute joy and passion, and a love and appreciation for a game played by 4 year olds and 70 year olds. How amazing is that?

God, thank you for these years.

I will miss it forever.

[parniarazi]

what the universe has taught me about living my best life

I haven’t written on this blog in months, as I’ve been caught up with school, work, and travels. I have been meditating and writing in my journal instead though, a habit I’m proud of and definitely want to continue. I also want to share some things here, especially as I’ll have a bit more free time to write and channel my creativity throughout the summer. I can honestly say, the past year has been the happiest and most amazing year of my life. I turned 20 last October, fearful but excited to end my teen years and embrace adulthood. Moving out of my small hometown, expanding way past my comfort zone, traveling, and falling in love have all changed my life for the better. There’s some points in particular I wanted to draw on, about ways I have cultivated more love and mindfulness everyday, and in return significantly improved the quality of my life. I apologize in advance if some of this is cheesy, just hear it out and give it a chance though! 

☽ Appreciate each phase and live in the moment. If there is one thing the moon has taught me, it’s that things change everyday, the phases will continue and she will go through her cycles. She has taught me to be present, rooted in the moment, in where I am and who I am right now. I’ve always been a dreamer, always thinking about what’s next, where I’d rather be, who I’d rather be. I remember in high school, I was honestly pretty miserable most of the time because all I thought about was being somewhere and someone else. In reality though, when I look back on my life in high school, it was actually really great. I have many good memories and stories, I just didn’t appreciate it enough at the time. Instead, I wallowed in my own misery for literally no reason. Each phase will end, whether you want it to or not. Soon, I’ll be done with college and enter a new phase in my life, and I’m glad I’ve grown up to be more appreciative, more present, and more in love with myself and my life now. Appreciate and be present in whatever phase you’re in now, because it will be gone and different tomorrow. 

☽ Play. Growing up doesn’t mean losing that childhood innocence, your sense of adventure, or your playfulness. If anything, you’ll need your child-like energy more and more the older you get. For a while, I took adulthood way too seriously. I have the blessing of working with kids, and they remind me everyday to laugh and not take things too seriously. Many of my friends, as well as myself, have experienced crippling anxiety throughout our teenage years, because life is fucking hard and scary. Sometimes you need to walk barefoot in the grass, roll down a hill, blow bubbles, watch cartoons, eat candy, and imagine you’re a mermaid. Getting into the rave scene and culture are one of the main things that have also reminded me of this. It’s amazing to see all kinds of people, grown ups from the real world, gather wearing shiny, silly clothes, and glitter to dance and vibe together. We need things like this to remind us life doesn’t have to be so serious all the time, and to allow us to judge less and love more. Remembering this and embracing that innocent, playful energy will unlock so much creativity, compassion, and imagination you have within you. 

☽ Life is full of paradoxes. My favorite one is that life is short, but it’s also so long. You’re here now, and you don’t know if you will be tomorrow, so live a life you’re proud of and leave a mark on the world and the people around you. Be exactly who you want to be remembered as. At the same time, it’s important to remember that there is no rush. You have your whole life ahead of you. You will get to places better than what you even imagined. Take it slow. There’s this cultural attitude of needing to finish school and get a job as soon as possible to be happy and successful. As real as this is, it’s also bullshit because there’s so much more to us than that. Why rush into getting a 9-5 job when you’ll have until you retire to work and make money? You’re told to get AP credits, take more classes, and you’re praised if you graduate early. But for what? Take a gap year if you need it, take less classes if you’re overwhelmed. Take your time because there’s no reason to chase material things and undermine the quality of your learning and the quality of your life. I’ll probably be 25-30 before I finish my degrees, but it’s okay because there are endless opportunities for learning, making money, and growing in a real and authentic way until then. 

☽ Move your body everyday. Something as simple as going on a walk in the morning or doing 20 mins of yoga can improve your life and make you feel better. From insomnia, to depression and anxiety, to physical pain/chronic illness, I’ve seen movement and exercise change lives for the better. We all know exercise releases endorphins, which can boost your mood, help reduce physical pain, even boost your memory and focus. Our culture is obsessed with aesthetics, and working out can suck if you don’t feel great about your body. It’s easy to compare yourself to insta fitness models or experienced yogis, but everything is a process, you have to start somewhere and you have to start with a goal of just feeling healthier and happier. For the longest time I just did ab workouts and squats because I wanted a certain body, but I realized eating food I liked, and doing a simple and easy yoga routine some days felt better than forcing myself to workout and eat healthy. Throw away the scale, don’t count calories or protein, don’t look for physical changes. Move your body in a way that feels good, eat whatever you’re craving, take care of yourself from a place of love and authenticity, and you’ll be surprised how much better you’ll feel on a regular basis. Plus, the gains and strength will come along, too. I’m still working on this as well, but swimming, doing yoga, and going to the gym have helped me feel stronger, sleep better, and have less back pain from my scoliosis.

☽ Go outside. You came from the earth, and to the earth you will return. Feel the sun on your skin, the cool water on your feet, the rocks and sand through your fingers. Connecting with nature, not only by physically being outside more, but also eating more naturally, has beautiful effects that are hard to even describe. The earth has everything we could need as humans, she gives abundantly and has the power to heal us. As humans, we need to spend time with nature, the man-made society and structures we live within can sustain us, but we will never be able to connect, be as conscious, or be whole without returning to our roots. I like to have plants, sage, palo santo, and crystals in my room so I can have more connectivity to earth even when I’m indoors. The relaxing, euphoric effects from spending time outside and in nature cannot be felt or imitated with anything else. It is so grounding and uplifting at the same time, and connecting to the earth is definitely on of the main things that has improved my life. Also travel. See as much of the earth as possible. It will teach you things that nothing else can. 

☽ Meditate. Write. Listen to music. Read books. Expand yourself through multiple avenues by trying new things. I never thought I’d be into crystals or meditating or any of this spiritual shit, but instead of judging myself or others, I just decided to give it a few tries. Meditating is amazing because in a world where our brains and eyes are constantly being given information, fed images, and told what to think, it can be so hard to even hear your own thoughts and feelings over all the noise. We also live in a ‘productivity’ culture, so taking a few minutes out of your day to simply sit with yourself and breathe can be so necessary and useful. Meditating reduces my anxiety, makes me a better person to be around, and helps me deal with situations and make decisions from a place of clarity. It also helps me feel closer to myself, so I trust myself and my decisions more and overthink less. Journaling and writing has the same affect. I like to make gratitude lists in my journal, and manifest goals by writing them out after I meditate. This can seem really out there, but meditating and journaling can make some serious shit happen in your life. You’ll be amazed at the calm it brings you and when things you manifest become reality...whoa. Music and reading are also extremely elevating. I could write a whole other post on those two things alone and the incredible benefits they’ve brought into my life. Listen to an artist or genre different from what you usually listen to. Read a book you normally wouldn’t, just for fun. It’s incredible how much these simple acts of stepping outside your norms will allow you to expand and grow.

☽ Cannabis and psychedelics. If you’ve read this far, that’s amazing and why I’ve saved this fun point for last! I started smoking weed in high school, like many people, and I fell in love right away because I felt how it helped me relax, reduce anxiety, and sleep better. But it wasn’t until the past several months that I really began embracing cannabis as my medicine. As I’ve mentioned, I’ve had chronic back pain and anxiety, and nothing has helped me more than cannabis. It has also helped me gain weight (I was underweight for many years), so I am much healthier and happier now. Weed makes me a better person to be around and it has improved the quality of my life so much. Thankfully, it is becoming more and more acceptable in our country/culture, I even had the exciting experience of buying from a dispensary recently. It really bothers me when people think of weed as a ‘dangerous drug,’ because it is the most amazing, healing plant medicine. I’ve also had a few acid trips and tried Molly in the past year, and psychedelics did and still do intimidate me, but they are so powerful. Tripping isn’t going to make you ‘find yourself,’ but it can be a really useful tool in your journey for expanding your consciousness, your creativity, and allowing you to feel more love and openness. Cannabis and psychedelics help me shed my outer layer, one of anxiety, judgement, shyness, and normativities. Instead, allowing my mind to elevate and be open to love, new perspectives, and a deeper connection to the world around me. I truly believe if used properly, these things can have immense benefits and improve lives. 

I’m no expert in wellness or healing, I just wanted to throw out some mindsets and activities in particular that have helped improve my life immensely. I’m on my journey, just like everyone else, learning and growing everyday. I am so grateful for the woman I am blossoming into, and I never even imagined being able to feel as much love and joy as I do. I hope you were able to take something away from these points, and if anyone would like more specific suggestions, from books to yoga to music, please let me know! 

[maatikikhushboo]

2017 - My Take

So, finally, I am back on TUMBLR after an unreported absence for almost two months. Life had become so consuming: a couple of competitive exams which paved way for my admission into higher studies lasted for almost 3 months and many more important commitments which were just gulping down my whole time and attention. The result - my virtual life had to take a backseat for some time. I was terribly missing this platform and I am glad that ultimately I am able to make it. And I know, I know that I am terribly late for this post, but I had to write this post because 2017 needed a joyous farewell from my side.

I have been watching these shitty Hindi television shows for almost a decade now. Terming them as shitty, somehow, has not been able to terminate my viewership and to my astonishment they continue to be one of my sources of entertainment till date. Despite the availability of Cable TV, as a child, I had an antenna fixed at the terrace of my house. Doordarshan was the only channel which was a primary source of entertainment and infotainment as well. I used to watch Rangoli (which I still do), News, some couple of light hearted shows like Tu Tu Main Main, Shaktimaan, Bongo, crime & thrillers (Aap Beeti, Suraag), Mythology (Om Namah Shivaay), Surabhi, Subah Savere, etc. The channel provided me a whole package. Parents surveillance was not needed to watch TV at that times.

However, after some time, other channels were installed into my television set. We surfed through other options and then found reality shows, CID,KBC, Sa Re Ga Ma and many more shows like Yatra, Shararat, Karishma ka Karishma etc. (I am suffering from a super loss of memory right now, so please pardon me for not listing the shows by their timeline). Slowly, daily soaps came into picture starting from Kasauti Zindagi Kay and all the other stuff (Thank God that I can’t withstand dragging, otherwise I could have been a victim of those shows for years together). I never had patience to watch any of them for years together unless they were worth it. I would watch say only season one or two of a TV show.

As a teenager, I was a nerd and an introvert. However, that didn’t stop me from getting attracted to this fictional cobweb. I was oblivious of the nature of these fictional shows. Fictional shows are inspired from reality but they are not reality. I used to get so attached to the leads and their onscreen chemistry. The mini drama queen inside me used to live those characters and sometimes imagine myself in their shoes and weave stories in my head. If a show’s story didn’t go the way I imagined in my head, or say a couple I shipped didn’t end up in the story or real life, or a person playing a character was not like she really was, I used to get disappointed (LOL). Little did I know that all these were just fictional stints and ratings was the end game. Also, that the onscreen personalities were very much different from the off-screen personalities.

As I grew up, my outlook towards them changed. As a mature individual, I started regarding them as pure entertainment with no strings attached. Meanwhile this transformation, I was experimenting with historical and mythological shows. I found out that the trend was same even for that genres. Yet that didn’t stop me from watching them. It’s just that I stopped getting attached to them. They stopped affecting my real life. Me and my mom, used to discuss these things actively in the past. We both used to sit together and watch serials. Later, my mom realized that it’s useless to spend our valuable time for those shitty shows and now she rather prefers “Arnab shouting on Republic” to daily soaps. (Our past common list includes all the Imagine TV serials, some handpicked ones from Colors, Star, Zee, Sony, 9X, Star One, etc.)

Some would say that I am having a kind of addiction. Addiction is watching the same shows because you must even if the plot is stale, even if you have the option of changing the channel with the remote in your hand, yet you don’t. It becomes a daily routine. That is not the case with me. I only watch the stuff I like and make proper use of my remote! My friends wonder that why am I a sucker for these serials. The answer would be - The heart wants what it wants and my heart needs its dose of fictional shit. I know it would be so insensible of me to speak like this even after mentioning all the side effects about them myself in the above paragraphs of the same post. I love them! It’s not addiction. I guess it’s a manufacturing defect which developed this perennial disease called “eternal love for daily soaps(ELDS)”. I genuinely feel that apart from books, films, TV serials are the ones who perhaps have played a small yet important role in enhancing whatever creativity I have which my parents often deny. Today, I hardly get remote to watch my shows. They prefer channels like EPIC (which even I love watching), SAB TV, News channels, music channels and DD of course!  All thanks to the digital platforms that I catch up my shows *winks*

The bimaari of weaving stories in my head, interpreting characters, their reactions were the things that didn’t change till date. I was and I am greedy for these creative discussions and thus joined India Forums in 2013. Discussions were fun then because there was less reachability through social media. Then slowly, much to my dismay, the platform got filled with full of condescending people. People started taking “freedom of expression” too literally. Social media & Forums have become a place for open fandom wars. I agree that one can express their views openly there. They can appreciate or make fun of the couple or show (because one can’t keep that fictional stuff inside their heart for longer periods of time and that they need to let it out of their chests) without throwing personal insults or severely bashing actors or the creatives. Everyone has their own personal life and job to do. Actors and PH earn their money. But what we get from this biting sarcasm games is headache and irritation. Sometimes, when I see fans desperately asking the creatives, I see a younger version of me in them, who was deceived and dejected, a victim of rating business. That’s why I hardly reside there.

I badly needed a place apart from IF and SM where I could put forth my views openly. And, TADA ! I found that Tumblr was just tailor made for my needs. Thanks a ton, to my friends @cuckoldedbyddlj and @sitaaronkepaar for suggesting me to shift my den to TUMBLR.  2017, I hereby express immense gratitude for being so prolific. You have been so good that I could achieve many milestones in my life. I passed out as a graduate, successfully landed into a good job, scratched that job opportunity and decided to pursue higher studies, got addicted to Smule, watched some decent daily soaps like KRPKAB, got charmed by RiKara only to get detoxified of Ishqbaaaz from my system later, started making GIFs, started watching YUDKBH, and the list is endless. I would love to thank you for proving my stand right that shipping the female lead (protagonist) is always the best thing (Thank God that I never fan followed a male lead/the actor just because of his looks or attitude/character). Lastly, thank you for bringing TUMBLR into my life and giving me small mercies. Thanks to everyone who tolerates the stupid stuff posted on my blog and hits a note for my posts !!!

I wish that 2018 is supportive towards my new resolutions and makes my journey more beautiful. Happy New Year everyone (belated). 

Cheers, L !

[positivemomentumproject]

When Your Life is Over, Here’s How to Make it Through

How to Overcome Obstacles When You Just Can’t.

I remember losing a job very early on in my career. I was upset, confused, and angry. All I could think was, “why me?” I thought my life was over. I needed money to survive. How would I pay my bills? What about my reputation? What if I couldn’t find another job? It was devastating. I didn’t know what to do next, or who to turn to. There were a lot of tears. 

Eventually, I found the strength to move on. I spent time reflecting on what I actually wanted to pursue next, I applied to other opportunities, and I used my network to make connections. I found a new, better job. And ultimately, I was stronger and better for the entire experience. I now knew exactly what failure looked and felt like. But even more importantly, I learned how it felt to overcome it, to use it as motivation, and rise above it. 

Years later, when my best friend was laid off, I was able to relate to her in a way no one else could. All of my first-hand experience brought us closer than ever before. I was able to share my insights and experiences with her, and make her see there was hope for the future. My experience not only helped me, but it empowered me with qualities and knowledge that I otherwise wouldn’t have had. And it enabled me to be the friend she needed through that difficult time. 

We all go through dark times, and usually, it is only when we are on the other side of them that we can see the lessons and opportunities in our struggles. Albeit difficult, if we can remind ourselves of the powerful lessons, hindsight, and new opportunities that come with every obstacle, it can give us hope during the darkness. 

When you’re facing an obstacle, or going through a major struggle, be gentle with yourself and take it one step at a time, knowing that you will reach the other side. 

1. Feel the feels.

Ignoring your emotions is never effective. When you ignore your feelings, they never really go away. You are only burying them deep inside. And, just like a volcano, they will be silently brewing beneath the surface until they are released in a violent explosion. Usually when emotions are pent up, they reveal themselves at the most inopportune moments. This is why it’s important to feel your feelings. Cry when you need to cry, scream when you need to scream. Acknowledge how awful your situation is, and accept it. Know that it is okay to be sad, upset, disappointed or angry. And know that the more honest you are with yourself about how you are feeling, the more quickly you will have the strength to move past it. 

2. Clear your head.

While it’s important to experience all of your emotions, know that you cannot stay in a negative state of mind forever. Eventually, you will need to gather yourself, dry your tears, wash your face, and carry on. After you have taken a moment (or a few days) to cry it out, do something to make yourself feel good. Clear your head from negative thoughts by focusing on other things in your life that are still going right. Practice gratitude for the things in your life for which you are grateful. Go for a run or walk, go get a massage or manicure, have coffee or a phone date with a friend you haven’t seen in a while, paint, craft, exercise, or take a weekend trip away. Do something to take your mind off the obstacle you are facing so you gain perspective. Although it feels like the end of the world, you are not going to die from this. 

3. Strategize.

Once your mind is clear and you have gained some perspective, it’s time to be bigger and smarter than your problem. The obstacle you are facing is temporary and, if you do things right, it can be turned into an opportunity for you and your future. There is a saying in politics, “never let a crisis go to waste.” It’s important to take that approach to all of your personal challenges as well. How can you not only get through this rough patch, but how can you conquer it, use it to your benefit, and create or become something greater than before? The best stories are of people who overcame impossible challenges and created greatness from their disadvantages. That can be you! Focus, brainstorm, shift your perspective. What unforeseen opportunity can be born out of your obstacle?

4. Face your obstacle head-on.

The mere idea of facing obstacles head-on may make you want to curl up into a ball, but you are not a quitter. You must take action. You have identified the opportunity in your obstacle, now you must take focused action to turn your obstacle into the opportunity you have identified. You cannot wish away your obstacle and you cannot hope that things will get better from here on out. You have to make it happen. Create the plan, make the phone call, attend the meeting, sign up for the class. Take the plunge, rip off the band aid. Face the obstacle head on. Running will not make it go away. Praying can give you courage, but it cannot absolve you from the need to act. You know what you need to do, so do it. Now.

5. Find the lesson. 

Once you have taken action to resolve your challenge and have begun creating your new opportunity, it is important to reflect and learn from the situation. What happened may have been your fault. In which case, what lessons have you learned that you will apply to your future endeavors? What can you do better next time? Conversely, what happened may not have been your fault. Natural disasters, arbitrary layoffs, strokes of bad luck, sicknesses, and traumas happen to each and every one of us. Even still, what has this experience taught you? What can you do now to better prepare for the next time something unexpectedly negative comes your way? What has this experience given you, that you can now gift to others? Knowledge, expertise, compassion perhaps? 

6. Prepare for the next one.

Again, take action. You have found the lesson in your challenge, now take action to really learn from it and improve in any way you can. Failed in business? Take a business course. Failed relationship? Start going to therapy. Had an unexpected health problem? Revamp your lifestyle. Lost a job? Find one that you really love, and open a savings account so that next time it doesn’t feel so devastating. No matter what life throws at you, you can learn to master your reaction to it, and be prepared for the next time something bad happens to you. It’s not what happens to you that matters, it’s how you respond to it that does. Once you begin to work on yourself, you can then help others. Share what you have learned with other people. Help them through a similar situation. Or, if at all possible, teach them what you have learned in advance so they can avoid the same fate. 

None of us enjoys going through failures, pain, or challenges. But that’s life. Life consists of one obstacle after another. When you stop facing hardship, you stop learning and growing. The better you become at overcoming challenges, the easier life becomes, and the happier you are. When you realize that the road to success is paved with failures, you’ll begin to appreciate every opportunity to overcome an obstacle. Nothing worth having comes easily, and your growth and happiness are directly correlated to your ability to affectively overcome setbacks without losing site of all the great things around you, and the ones yet to come. 

Have you faced a devastating hardship at some point in your life? What specific things helped you through it? Tell me in the comments!.

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[hasansonsuzceliktas]

15 Ways to Create a High Vibrational Home

If your home doesn’t make you feel uplifted just stepping into that space, it's a wasted opportunity. With just a little time, money, and effort you can create changes that will pay off in terms of raising your energy. Our living spaces are really vital to our sense of well-being. There are thousands of magazines, books, blogs, TV programs devoted to home decorating, organizing your home, the domestic arts. And with good reason. Our environments reflect and influence our inner worlds dramatically. Your home is one of your most personal creations, and what uplifts one person definitely won’t work for everyone. Watching programs like George Clarkes Amazing Spaces or Grand Design, it’s fascinating to see how different peoples living spaces are. From huge expansive spaces to tiny homes, from modern minimalistic design to bohemian colorful antique filled warrens. But whatever your style, if your home doesn’t make you feel uplifted just stepping into that space; it's a wasted opportunity. With just a little time, money, and effort you can create changes that will pay off in terms of raising your energy. I thought it would be fun to compile a list of things we can do to make our spaces more feel great to be in. Maybe some of them will inspire you to put a bit of extra love into your home and reap the benefits of feeling good there effortlessly. Although most of these suggestions are practical things to do, first and foremost your home is filled with the atmosphere of your thoughts. So all the candles and plants in the world can’t fix the energy of your home if you are holding on to anger. Especially in the kitchen, where food is prepared and holds the vibration of the cook and kitchen, create a sacred space by keeping loud talking and conflict away from that space. 1. De-clutter. I know it's a bit predictable, and so many books and blogs suggest this, but it’s because it’s so true. In Feng Shui it’s suggested that you never keep junk piled under your bed, because it affects your sleep, but I think it applies to every aspect of your home. Everyone knows that great feeling you get, when you’ve cleared out a cupboard and re-organised it. Although a few people seem to flourish in chaos, I think most of us respond to space that is clean, and clear of unnecessary, unused stuff. Make it a project to tackle area, by area, and throw out or give away what you don’t use, and organize the rest. I love ‘a place for everything and everything in its place’ philosophy, and being able to locate something without searching for it, makes for easy living. I would say as a side note though, I think every home needs a clutter drawer, jar, basket or cupboard. No one can be organized all the time, and a holding area for ‘stuff’, is essential for sanity. 2. Comfort. I’m a bit comfort freak. Could me my Taurus rising, but whatever it is, its enough to make me walk out of a café if the seats are too hard, and those metal garden type furniture sets, don’t get me started! Again this maybe my thing, but I like a space that says, come on it, settle down, and make yourself very comfortable. Lots of comfy seats, pillows, rugs. No hard minimalist hard wooden chairs for this gal. But whatever floats your boat. 3. Cleanliness. Probably the cheapest way to raise the energy of a space is to clean it! With natural cleaning products preferably, unless the smell or bleach turns you on. I think there is a reason people say cleanliness is next to godliness. With being OCD about it, clean spaces and the act of cleaning spaces, definitely seem to uplift our moods and it seems to be a universal human trait. We associate lack of self-care, a state of depression or addiction with letting our environment become dirty and likewise, cleaning up our spaces, as a transformative action. 4. Flowers To me, nothing seems to say, I love myself and love my home, more than a bunch of fresh flowers. Whether you pick wild ones from a paddock or pay for a florist to keep your home full of flowers, don’t under estimate the happiness impact of a bunch of God’s little floral messages of love. The 5$ you may spend on a coffee, could also be spent on a few flowers, which will you many more moments of joy. 5. Art & Photos A home without art or photos on the walls, doesn’t feel complete to me. An original painting would be first choice, especially if painted by yourself or someone you know. But a print is also great. Choosing images that hold significance or just make you feel good is a great way to energize your home. It can be good to change them from time to time also; since we often become oblivious to things we see all the time. Photos of loved ones or favourite places, around the home, also put us into the frequency of love and happiness with their presence. 6. Handmade objects I love handmade anything! I think many people do. I appreciate the Bauhaus philosophy of making beautiful objects available to the masses through technology but William Morris’s handmade ways is my more my cup of tea. Whether it is pottery, art objects, hand stitched rugs, hand sewn cushions or table clothes, I would rather have one beautiful hand-made plate than a dozen factory produced ones. And handmade stuff is often to be found super cheap in second hand shops. The best of course is an object handmade by yourself or someone you know, I’m sure the energy of hand made objects lingers in the object somehow, and if its made especially for you with love, that is multiplied manifold. 7. Colour Colour choice is again a very person thing. Some people love a minimalist pallet of greys, blacks and inky blues, others go for white everywhere, and then there is Frida Kahlo colour on colour, or ethnic patterns look. Whatever your taste, colour does affect us. Experiment, try something new, and be aware of the power of colour in calming, livening or inspiring you. 8. Know your style As I mentioned in the introduction, what works for one person, doesn't necessarily work for others. It can confusing sometimes when you see Home and Garden magazines, and think every style looks amazing. If you have the luxury of decorating a place from stratch, try on different styles, either in your imagination or by visiting friends houses and seeing how it feels to be that kind of space. You may get impressed by someones Bohemian home filled with their musicial instruments and exotic object collections, but maybe the clutter will annoy you, likewise a super minimalist or tiny home may seem appealing, but living in a place where you have to put everything away before you do anything else, can also become tiring. Also, just because you like a certain art deco cupboard or mid century sofa, doesn’t mean you have to make that era your style. Sometimes a little bit of everything thrown together can satisfy the vintage, bohem, classic, romantic, hippy, modernist sides to yourself. You could also do as one of my artistic friends does and have a different theme for each room, with some rooms oozing Jane Austen romantic femininity and others filled with African wooden sculptures and religious iconography. 9. Light Lack of daylight hours, especially in far north countries, is known to cause a kind of depression. Like plants, we humans are drawn to the warmth and light of sun. Breatharians are even said to live off the energy rays of the sun or moon. So open your curtains, fling open your doors and windows and let in the sunlight. Like the little sickly boy in the ‘Secret Garden’, being indoors wrapped up with the curtains closed and windows boarded up to keep out the germs is not the way to health and happiness. Old houses were often build to keep in the warmth, without considering light or views. So, you may even consider adding extra windows if you live in a dark house. There are even lamps with imitate the light spectrum of natural light. Lght filled spaces seem to fill our inner spaces with light too, so think about the quality of light in your home. 10. Plants Plants are a beautiful way to bring nature in our spaces. They respond to human voice and energy and I’m sure they also add to the calming energy of a place. I think I’ve read that plants in the bedroom maybe not be the best because of the carbon dioxide, but feel free to add plants to kitchens, bathrooms, lounges, sunrooms, and any other space in your home. 11. Shrines and Meditation Spaces I think these are one of the best ways to create a beautiful sacred feeling in a home. I know many people who use spare rooms as meditation spaces, where only meditation takes places. This helps meditation as your mind is conditioned to quieten as soon as you enter the space. An uncluttered room with comfortable seating, a picture or object of focus if that’s your method and some bells or incense can add to the ambiance. Most people don’t have a spare room however and therefore a shrine can also be great way to bring the sacred into the mundane. I’ve seen people make shrines out of shells and driftwood, or a simple table covered in a cloth, where you can place objects, pictures, anything that helps you connect with your inner most self. Many spiritual paths also use their rooms or shrines to offer a portion of their meal to God or Buddha or their deity of choice. Although it may sound like an archaic superstition, it can actually be a way to become more conscious of the energy that you put into your food and to bring the awareness of a divine dimension into the everyday activity of cooking and eating. 12. Air quality & Fragrance We instinctively flee from bad smells and are drawn to sweet fragrances. Walking into a home and immediately smelling fresh lilies, or lavender, or a vanilla candle burning, creates a feeling of being somewhere special. Consider adding fragrance, especially natural ones to your home, and if nothing else, open the windows every day and let the fresh air circulate in your home. 13. Rituals & Gratitude I love rituals, though you do have to be careful that a ritual doesn't become a mindless habit. Some people burn sage to purify the atmosphere, or express a verbal thanks to their homes and everything in it that gives them happiness, or perhaps cleaning the house on a particular day of the week or decorating their space with themes according to holidays. There are loads of different things you can do regularly as a ritual to honour and raise the energy your space or from time to time to make it extra special. 14. Vision Boards, Quotes Nothing is more uplifting than the vision boards that you have personal created or a print out or hand written note of a quote you find uplifting. Decorate your space with these treasures of creativity and inspiration and look at them often. 15. Candles & Fireplaces Just as natural light is beneficial, like moths most of us are drawn to candle light or open fires. It make take a little more effort to light candles, rather than flick a switch, but it does create a lovely ambiance in a room. And as for open fires, I think we all know what a treat that is. In doors or outdoors a fire is healing, warming, and conducive to reflecting on the deeper aspects of live, or not thinking at all! 16. Pets I left this off the list of 15, because after watching Earthlings, I’m a little reluctant to encourage people to get pets and perpetuate an industry which can cause a lot of suffering to animals. I’m also not stable long enough in one place to have that option. However, personally, when I come to a home which has cats, dogs, rabbits, chickens, pigs, tropical fish, anything, especially if they are off the dinner menu permanently, I am instantly smiling. Like all of nature, animals are still connected to the flow of the universe. People are said to live longer if they have pets. And the moving around in circles that cats do, is said to help the flow of chi in a home. Whatever the reasons, I do think pets are probably one of the most powerful ways to bring love, life and energy into a home. But they also need a lot of love and care. So please don’t get one unless you can really treat them like one of your family, for the entirety of their lives. Read the full article