lovely one, i always knew / the future holds a hazel view . .
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The creator of squid game spending years trying to get his point across that exploiting the poor and desperate for entertainment is bad watching netflix make a spin off of his fictional series where they in fact exploit the poor for entertainment
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Like I literally have second hand embarrassment for Vox after seeing what Alastor ACTUALLY is like in a rivalry.
Like homie wishes he could be that close to Alastor 😂😂
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Reasons why Jon Archivist is truly a character of all time:
Had the police called on him several times when he was a young child
Keeps his rib and the ashes of the season one antagonist next to his stationary drawer
Promised he wouldn’t get lost in tunnels and then immediately got lost in aforementioned tunnels
Has no clue what a joke is
Learned how remarkably easy it is to buy an ax in central London
Had to have two separate interventions
Told people his place of employment before traumatising them for life
The first character he ever said ‘I love you’ to is a cat
Allegedly participated in amdram
Watches documentaries and collects some kind of weird shit (my headcanon is Soviet Union postcards) when he’s not being a paranoid mess
Canonically looks like he hasn’t slept in weeks
Knows nothing about library science
Fell head over heels for a man that he hated until he learned he lied on his resumé
Has been referred to as Jesus or Jesus-adjacent at least twice
Asexual icon
Knows what a meme is and said “LOL” in the first episode
Rode on a merry-go-round sometime during his university days because he was in a weird place emotionally
Died for our Jonathan Sins
Is probably a computer now playing minesweeper with his boyfriend and evil 200+ year old boss
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He's flattening them in the song/they're apparently turned backwards so
THEY'RE HIS EARS
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IMPORTANT UPDATE:
but this time he angy
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BONUS:
okay I'm done 🦌
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The urge to make him painfully hard when we're out in public.
To rub his inner thighs near his crotch while we're sitting next to each other, brush against his nipples by accident, whisper the most disgusting things into his ear, to kiss his pretty neck a second too long. To see him crumble, see his pupils dilate, his pants getting too tight.
To make him a dumb and blushy mess for me until he's not even able to talk, just waiting patiently like a good boy until I finally take him home.
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