#with: elif

[pitymisskitty]

With: @cantfightmoonlight (Elif) Where: The Den

Kitty didn't come to the Den too often. Typically on full moons or if she was feeling like she was going to shift, she'd stop by, waste some time before it was time to go out into the woods. If it wasn't a full moon, she'd hope that being at the Den would allow her to calm down. If it was, then she'd do the wolf thing. She was trying to get better at doing the wolf thing. It sucked to feel like she was going to wolf out every five seconds. She was trying to get passed that. So, Wolf Den. Kitty was pacing in the communal kitchen, wondering if she should just give up and head out for a run. She turned when someone walked in, startling her enough to stop worrying about shifting, at least for the moment. "Oh! Uh, hey, Elif," she said, feeling a little sheepish.

[sapphicscience]

today on science twitter.......

[itsronniebish]

Ronnie had to wonder if she was a little too intoxicated for this. Or maybe... not intoxicated enough. She wasn't fucking sure. "Holy shit," she muttered. "Okay, alright, lemme-- Let me see if I've got this right: there's a guy that you've been running from for awhile, and now he's found you, and so you're gonna-- you're planning on running. I--" She didn't want Elif to run. She didn't. She swallowed, trying to think of a reason, but she couldn't. Ronnie knew she wasn't a good enough reason reason for anyone to stick around for. "I-- I-- But what about Nico? You can't-- He doesn't want you to leave, does he? And, I mean, like, if you run... If you run, the guy's just gonna keep coming, right? Like, Elif, that... that doesn't sound like a life." She managed a smile, sighing in exasperation. "No, what? No, not Meena. That-- The bitch. Whatever her name was. Loraine or whatever. Not a mayor, I guess, but like still an asshole." She looked away, and they were around too many people, they weren't around enough. Ronnie didn't know what she wanted to say or even how to say it. "Don't leave," she muttered. "I... Please."

"Like..." She bit down on her bottom lip, not sure if she wanted to tell Ronnie. She knew the second she said it out loud it would be real. But, she also knew she couldn't keep going like this all on her own and, if there was one person she wanted to trust, it was the girl standing before her. "Like I've been running from this guy since I was twenty-one and typically I don't stick around long enough anywhere for him to be able to track me down. Only, I did and now he has and, he apparently submitted his name to run for Mayor when Meena was missing, so he's definitely on his way here and I don't think I have much time left before he finds me, so I kinda have to decide if I'm going to leave again sooner rather than later," She let out a small gulp. "So, I'm probably leaving town, unless... unless there is a really good reason for me not to? Though," Her brows creased as what Ronnie had previously said sank in. "Wait, the Mayor of Murderville is brainwashing people to kill us now too? I though we liked Meena. Do we not like Meena anymore?"

[daiwild]

i haven't finished ggxrd yet but

[roseverie]

LAVINIA; meaning lady of rome (in roman legends Lavinia was the wife of Aeneas)

“Rome, the city where memories were chiseled in marble.“

requested by anon

[itsronniebish]

Ronnie couldn't understand a word that Elif said, but she kind of got the idea. At least, she hoped she did, trying not to stare like too much of a fool. She slipped her arms around Elif's neck, more than a little absentminded as she murmured, "You have a really fucking pretty voice, you know?"

Blinking, Ronnie nodded as Elif spoke. She was just agreeing. She didn't even really know what to. Finally, her brain processed what she heard, and she kept nodding, more sincerely. "Yeah, yep, yes. We should stay here. Just like this is great. I'm actually super comfortable, so moving would be pretty lame, anyway." They could move later. She could move later, after Elif was asleep, around morning, hopefully slipping out and back in with breakfast. She didn't have any Eggos, and she couldn't cook for shit, but there was a twenty-four hour diner with great pancakes, and Ronnie could run there and back faster than most people could drive. And, in the morning, if it meant she could keep Elif around for a little bit longer, then that was nobody's business but her own.

"Bu mu?" Her eyes widened as she scooted even closer. Her nose nuzzled against Ronnie's as an iridescent smile she decided not to allow herself to question anymore broke across her lips. "Bu da gerçekten hoşuma gidiyor," She admitted in her native tongue as she reached out. Looping her arm around Ronnie's waist as she pulled her closer towards her until their limbs were practically intertwined. "I really like this too," She repeated what she had just said in english after her brain had a moment to catch up so that she could translate how it was she was feeling.

"We could, but," She feigned a sigh as she reached up to tuck a stray strand of hair out of Ronnie's face and back behind her ear. "That would require movement, wouldn't it?" She pointed out. Her fingertips all the while tracing the faintest of circles along Ronnie's jaw. "What if... what if we stayed here, just like this instead? You could tell me what your favorite movie is? And I could do this?" She offered up as she trailed her fingers down the nap of Ronnie's neck, leaving a line of kisses along the other girl's jaw where her fingertips had just been.

[quotespile]

Was that what was so painful: that nobody had ever come so close to me — nobody had ever seen me, and come right up to me, and kept going, and looked into my eyes so seriously, with so little fear?

Elif Batuman, Either/Or

[musenemesis]

ph Elif Gulen

Free

[quotefeeling]

If we are the same person before and after we love, that means we haven’t loved enough.

Elif Shafak, The Forty Rules of Love

[lets-get-lit]

It can be really exasperating to look back at your past. What’s the matter with you? I want to ask her, my younger self, shaking her shoulder. If I did that, she would probably cry. Maybe I would cry, too.

- Elif Batuman, The Idiot

[selin-n]

Asya (Asia) lı bir Türk kızı 💙🧿

Elif Alangoya 💙

🐎🐎🐎🐎

[itsronniebish]

The words were a quiet shock, one that Ronnie didn't quite understand. "Maybe?" she whispered. She hoped that maybe. "You never... said anything." Which, would Ronnie have even let her? If Elif said something, then Ronnie would have had to given this up sooner.

Hey, sorry you want something real, but I'm just not it. I think you're way too perfect for me, and I break fucking everything because it's hardwired into my head. She'd done it on accident, too. Everything that she'd set out to do that night ended up going horribly wrong. All Ronnie had wanted to do was comfort two people that she really cared about Instead, she was doing a walk of shame out of two different houses, two different kinds of shame.

Ronnie grabbed her phone, holding it to her chest as she stood. "I'm-- I'm really sorry, Elif. This wasn't-- I didn't mean for this to happen. I'll... check on you later, okay?" She didn't mean to break things. Not this time. She stumbled out of the room with one final glance back before speeding out and back to her own house.

"What's there to fuck up?"

More than she expected.

She wished she could say she didn't know what she had been expected. But, that would be a lie, because the truth of the matter was that she had lived this all before. Time and time again.

You were a trophy for him, Elif. Not a reason, not a cause.

Elif’s stomach dropped in her chest, a slow, sinking feeling that didn't knock the air out of her, but did made it hard to breathe for a second. It wasn't the kind of jolt that came with shock. It was quieter than that. Heavier. Hearing that Ronnie had left to go hook up with Rangi wasn't a blow, but a quiet collapse. The slow-motion unraveling of hope she'd barely let herself hold onto. She had truly thought maybe this time, maybe someone might stay. Maybe she was on the same page with someone for once? Maybe someone needed her the way she needed them? But, that was the thing, wasn't it?

She really thought this time it might be different.

But, it never was. She wasn't a reason to stay. She never had been. She was simply a body to keep a bed warm. A fun time and, when she couldn't even do that, of course Ronnie would have gone looking elsewhere. She didn't blame her.

She wasn't a reason or a cause.

This time, Rangi was and, next time, she was sure it would be someone else. She had known what this was, the moment she had tried to open up months ago, only for Ronnie to cut her off with a kiss. She was a good time. Not a long time and Ronnie didn't owe her anything. So, why did it feel like her heart was breaking?

No one ever stays.

"Oh," was all Elif said for a long moment. Slowly sitting up, she pulled her knees against her chest, scooting herself back until her back was pressed up against the headboard of the bed. "What's there to fuck up?" Her voice was all but a hoarse whisper as she finally willed herself to speak. "We were never anything, even I had hoped that maybe, but it's fine."

She kept her gaze hyper focused on the back of her knees as if to will any semblance of tears away. She wouldn't cry. She had enough people witness her heartbreaking already.

"I... I think you should go."

[elfpkr]

Zaten sen her zaman,

'Az sonra gidecek' gibiydin...

[perfectfeelings]

If we are the same person before and after we love, that means we haven’t loved enough.

Elif Shafak, The Forty Rules of Love

[genterie]

@linaluvsbooks on instagram

[delibalblog]

"Beni en çok yoran şey ne biliyor musun? Olmayacağını bile bile içimde büyüttüğüm umutlar..."

Aşk, Elif Şafak