#within all the rambling at least

[astradrifting]

Hi! Were there any perspectives in the ASOIAF fandom that made your eyes roll? If there are, what made you say so? Thanks!

[mostly written in 2021, and posted very late. Sorry nonny!]

woof, this could open up a can of worms. I'm almost afraid this is a bait ask but I'm also very willing to run my mouth online about ASOIAF, and I love making fun of dumb theories, so let’s go!

Every time someone says that Jon and Dny are the song of ice and fire, my soul dies a little. Enough said.

I also hate the idea that parallels between ASOIAF history and the events of the books don’t matter. Not to state the obvious, but Westerosi history isn’t real. No part of it actually happened organically, GRRM has manufactured all of it, so everything must have been written with a purpose. I don’t buy that it’s just all world-building, because if parallels are obvious to us, they must be a thousand times more so for the man actually writing it all, and the army of editors who are probably helping him keep it straight.

There is absolutely no way that anything about Jonnel ‘One-Eye’ is a coincidence. Half-brother to Rickon Stark is obvious enough, but then we have his mother. Lynara sounds very similar to Lyanna (side note: a jonsa baby named Lynara would be adorable), but the real link is that she was born a Stark - all of the women on the family tree are listed under their maiden names. Her relation to her husband Cregan isn’t specified; it would have been so easy to have her be from another random house, or even a Karstark, yet what George wanted to convey is that Jonnel has a Stark mother, as well as a Stark father who happened to be heavily involved with the Targaryens.

Another fun thing linking Jonnel to Jon! Jon’s first relationship was with a red headed girl, who claimed that they were married because he’d stolen her. In the same conversation where she’s called half fish…

“You know nothing, Jon Snow. I’m half a fish, I’ll have you know.”

“Half fish, half goat, half horse…there’s too many halves to you, Ygritte.”

(ASOS, Jon V)

this conversation is already jonsa gospel as foreshadowing because of “half-fish”, but the horse part was always a little strange to me. As far as I remember, they didn’t have a prior conversation about her loving horses or riding particularly well, so that was seemingly out of left-field.

Well Jonnel’s second wife was a Ryswell - their sigil is a black horse’s head with a red mane.

pictured: the jonsa agenda winning again

The idea that Stannis will take Winterfell isn’t as personally annoying to me, all these dudebros have very detailed, tactics-based reasons to believe he’ll win I’m sure (something about a nightlamp?), but I just think it doesn’t do anything for the narrative, nor does it make sense with either his arc or Jon and Sansa’s.

Winning Winterfell will put Stannis in a position of strength, give him a base of operations in the North that’s not on loan from the Night’s Watch, and would probably lead to most of the Northern houses swearing allegiance to him, as Manderly has already promised to do. Why would a man in that position ever choose to burn his daughter, his only heir, alive? That is literally one of the few guaranteed book plots we have, so IMO speculation about Stannis all needs to work backwards from this end point; it’s ugly and horrible, and I don’t know if I’ll be able to stomach reading it, but it’s the only ending to his arc that makes sense.

Kinslaying reoccurs time and time again in Stannis’ arc. Kinslaying for his own personal benefit, no less. In his first appearance in ACOK, he listens to Selyse suggest that he kill Renly, then stands by whilst Melisandre kills Maester Cressen, his surrogate father. Cressen raised him and loved him like a son; yet if he had killed Melisandre instead, Stannis would have lost the power she wields for his benefit, the main reason he has a chance at the throne. Later in the book, he implicitly allows his brother to be murdered so that he could gain the Stormlords that had rallied to Renly instead of him (anyone trying to argue that the shadow wasn’t technically Stannis so technically it wasn’t kinslaying will be put in the naughty corner for excessive pedantry). In ASOS, he’s willing to sacrifice his nephew, an innocent 12 year old under his guardianship. He says it’s for the realm, for duty, but really it’s for his destiny. What is the life of a bastard boy against a kingdom so close to his grasp?

It’s escalation. Each time so far he’s had a layer of deniability, but he’s not going to have that in the end. Ordering Shireen’s death himself, murdering his daughter in some desperate bid to secure victory over the Boltons, will be the final step off the cliff. Maybe he’ll have some military victories before that, smarter people than me have no doubt discussed the parallels to the Greek myth of Agamemnon sacrificing his daughter Iphigenia, but I have no doubt Stannis’ story is headed only towards tragedy.

….Turns out that I do have a lot of feelings about Stannis. But to get back to my original point, Jon and Sansa taking Winterfell back together, travelling through the North doing the work and proving themselves as worthy rulers, makes a lot more sense for their future roles in the story than Stannis winning it all for them. It’s also much more affecting and thematically resonant, so I refuse to believe D&D entirely made up that storyline.

I also inevitably end up rolling my eyes whenever I'm bored enough to go onto r/asoiaf, there's always a bad take right on the front page. One that annoyed me enough to go into @istumpysk’s inbox and kickstart my jonsa blogging was one asking what the point of R+L=J even is, because it never amounted to anything and just muddled up J/D being “the song of ice and fire”.

While it gets so close to the point that it’s funny, there’s no way the “song” is going to boil down to a relationship, let alone JD. I would almost buy Jon and Dænerys being the song of ice and fire if Jon actually were just Ned’s bastard, all ‘ice’. Hell, if he really wanted to make a relationship the song of ice and fire, he could have cut out the middleman and made Jon a trueborn Stark from the start - make them starcrossed lovers from warring families, truly ice and truly fire. Utterly boring, but thematically coherent at least. A major point of Jon’s character is that he is both - and something a lot messier than that besides, as a bastard.

It's not all bad on r/asoiaf though, when I went back to look for that post I saw another about how the Titan of Braavos is a Pacific Rim-style mech that will come to life to fight any dragons coming to the city, a theory that I will be championing from this moment henceforth.

Wait, nevermind, in that same thread someone said that Jaehaerys is the sexiest Targ name, so r/asoiaf is immediately cancelled again. That's another fandom perspective that makes me roll my eyes, the idea that Jaehaerys is in any way an acceptable name, especially as Jon's ‘secret’ name.

This 👏 is 👏 Targaryen 👏 propaganda 👏

Just look at it!! How do you even pronounce that? The hill I will most definitely die on is that this name is ugly.

[terracottakore]

i think false should be able to do anything she wants 💚💛❤️

week one of @shepscapades hermit character design challenge! thank you for hosting this lovely event

[edwinisms]

banging my head against the wall every time I see someone reblogging a post of mine with tags mentioning the ‘unrequited confession’. we have been OVER this it is NOT a case of unrequited romantic love it is completely canonically up in the air as a possibility. listen to jayden revri himself and be enlightened i am begging you

[nerves-nebula]

*voice of exhaustion* you guys are like, so moronically white

[kaxtwenty]

There's a lot to unpack here.

The fact that A: Allenby knew how Rain felt about Domon B: This caused her to feel a sense of kinship with Rain because she shared those same feelings towards him C: In her maddened state, she still managed reveal these feelings TO RAIN D: She's scared and literally asking Rain not to leave her alone E: The fact that she confesses her feelings about Domon TO RAIN FIRST

Idk where I'm going with this it was just a really good moment.

[martyrbat]

habeas corpus – detective comics #1086

(ID in alt!)

[puppyluver256]

I don't know how else to explain it, but every time I hear about or see direct evidence of malls instating anti-teenager policies (ie. "everyone under the age of 18 must be accompanied by a parent/guardian"), it feels like someone going into the forest and forcibly relocating all of the bears.

[designernishiki]

noticed that the ps app now shows how many hours you’ve spent on a game if youve recently played it and uh. im clearly very normal about yakuza 0

[neurotonic]

mmm just character thoughts don't mind me. I was initially hesitant to give my Phoenix too much characteristics that make them more than what we see in the game. I wanted to stick to focusing on their present as this silly do-gooder protagonist with simple motivations (a la Mr. No-Backstory Phoenix Wright Aceattorney. THAT'SRIGHT!! I DIDN'T JUST STOP WITH THE HAIR WAHHA /j)

which is why I didn't want to give them an actual real name for a long time.. the moment I do that is the moment they're someone unique entirely. Which isn't a bad thing! For some reason I just wanted to stick it to the simplicity. But I guess making them half-asian working for a company that's (mainly? i assume?) based in the US in the 60's already entails a lot of implications. Also I was really proud of thinking up of a real name for them which is why I put it on that one art I did for them.

All that to say is ... I'm close to deciding on going all-in with my Phoenix's characterization, backstory and all. I could... PROBABLY manage to connect their weird talent of not dying to it but. It's silly for the sake of being silly so. probably not.

What I've got so far is that they're an overseas filipino worker who, after jumping across multiple jobs (none of them sticking too long), accidentally wanders into one of the buildings of the Agency. They somehow get accepted and it doesn't take long for them to realize that they're a spy now. Surprisingly, they like the thrill. They really Did Not Expect to suddenly be saving the world but it's fine. It's fine!

[whatudottu]

Bestie I have got to tell you Mal TD totally listens to the Shadow the Hedgehog OST, and depending on the Total Drama timeline it would literally be perfect timing like- you can’t tell me this edgy teen nerd didn’t see a Sonic character with a gun and DIDN’T think it was cool, come on!

[theragamuffininitiative]

🤭

[lesbiansanemi]

I know people have always been weird with fic updates but I swear recently people have been even more impatient and weird about it. I get comments on fics that have been updated WITHIN A MONTH asking if it’s been abandoned or when it’s going to continue. Like…. My guy…. Idk where you’re from that fics are apparently getting updated like fucking daily but you need to chill

[goldensunset]

ugh

[gregmarriage]

editing, my beloathed 😫

[ramenwithbroccoli]

hello dear mutual! i noticed that you forgot to put tags on that wonderful post of yours - do not fret, i know exactly what to do in this situtation! *posts an entire essay three times the size of the post in your tags*

[alternativeulster]

swiftie mutuals please know that i still love you i just cant help but be a hater