#worlds fair wednesday

[whump-me-all-night-long]

random question but if i were to put out feelers for a beta reader for my WIP novel/hopefully trilogy that's a mix of fantasy/adventure/mystery/more fantasy with a large helping of girl power and a sprinkle of romance, would i have any interested parties?

[the-woild-is-y-erster]

haha whoops! im super stressed <3

[theunboundwriter]

Happy WBW! What's the harshest part of your world? Be it a place, a law, something character-created or otherwise, what is just HARSH?

(Pretend I answered this on time lol)

In The Prices We Pay, there's a law that forbids immortality. Which is understandable, honestly, but it's harsh for my MC who is immortal (not by her own choice). Because it's forbidden, she has to live in secret and move around every few years before people notice she isn't aging. When her immortality is finally exposed, she becomes a wanted criminal and is being hunted down by some of the most powerful people in the nation.

Life just isn't fair for her :(

[reginrokkr]

Just survived the first week of classes after Christmas break, but I'm feeling drained as hecky so no writing for tonight. I will try to get something done tomorrow after studying for Wednesday's midterm though as I miss writing and I highly doubt that my brain can take too much studying for the whole day ♥︎

[readymades2002]

have had "everlong" by the Foo Fighters stuck in my head nonstop the last few days. is that good

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

Clownfall: the Election Cometh

It's a long one, lads. Buckle up, get comfy, but the circus is in town for its final run. Ambient music as you read can be found here or here, take your pick. Get popcorn. Get snacks and water and a blanket.

Are you sitting comfortably?

Wednesday 22nd May

7.12am

Household favourite and queen of our hearts Pippa Crerar of the Guardian (her who did the investigative journalism that revealed PartyGate to the world) reports that UK inflation fell to a mere, paltry 2.3% in April.  The lowest level in three years!  Huzzah! But … still smaller than the decline that was expected. 

Nonetheless, Rishi Sunak and Jeremy Cunt whoops I'm so sorry I meant Cunt haha whoops said it again make a big fuss about how brilliant this news is, and how it shows that they are Good At Maffs after all that trouble with Liz Truss and Kwasi Kwarteng, who defined themselves as being Good At Maffs and then obliterated the economy in a single day.  Remember that! Good times. But hey, look, THIS PM/Grand Vizier combo are great at this! Inflation has fallen! Stop looking at the predicted rate! A fall is still a fall!

Crerar wonders whether people will actually feel better off, though – prices and mortgage rates are still high, after all. Food for thought.

10.04am

Jeremy Hunt is asked on the Today programme whether Sunak will call a general election.

Now, the logic here is that the government is likely to do better in an election if the economy’s improving; which, SunakCunt are now shrieking from the rooftops. So, is now the time? It's a win, and they've had so few of those, but historically people really do like to fall for the right wing = better economy myth... 

BUT – the Tories are doing so very badly in the polls.  Journalists favour the idea of an autumn election.  Tories do better when the weather’s bad, because fewer people go out and vote.

 “Well that’s a matter for the prime minister, it’s not a matter for me,” says Cunt. 

... Well.  Not ruling it out, then? Diddorol.

10.30am

It's Wednesday, aka the date that Tory cabinet ministers have their weekly meeting. They are duly sent the agenda.

There is no mention at all of an election announcement, nor any plan for an election.

Fair enough! 'Twas an idle thought. Plus, it would actually be bad timing from a logistical perspective - David Cameron, Foreign Secretary and Bae of Pigs, is currently flying out to Albania for an important international meeting, and Jeremy Cunt is on TV all day today - ITV next.

12.18pm

Sunak is asked at Prime Minister’s Questions whether he’ll call a general election.  He doesn’t rule it out.

12.56pm

Fun tweet alert!

2.31pm

Pippa Crerar asked Sunak’s press secretary whether he was calling an election.  She refused to comment.

Surely it’s a terrible time to call an election! Everyone hates them!  But suddenly …

A Cabinet meeting is scheduled for 4.15pm.  David Hameron suddenly u-turns in Albania and comes straight back home, his meeting un-met.  Jeremy Cunt cancels his ITV appearance.  The afternoon meeting is cancelled. Number 10 stops responding to journalists.  Manifesto work has stepped up.  Sunak’s chief-of-staff is spotted wearing a suit and tie WHICH IS UNUSUAL.  Senior ministers have spent the last few days doubling down on dividing lines.  And Tory bosses had a meeting this week to discuss how much money they could spend before a summer election.

The UK press sense blood in the water.

3pm

Okay.

There’s something you need to understand:

People suspect Rishi Sunak doesn’t actually want to live in the UK.  He’d prefer to be in California.  He’s here because he’s an MP.

You need to know this to understand this truly historic incident.

Nadine Dorries has produced a good tweet.

...

...

...

No, we all need to sit with this one for a minute

(For the record... to us, that is an excellent joke. But I strongly suspect she wasn't joking and was trying to make a catty accusation instead, which coincidentally appeared like a roast.

Scientists are referring to this as Stopped Clock Syndrome.)

5.17pm

With great dignity, Rishi Sunak stands outside Number 10 and announces a general election on 4 July.

And by “great dignity”, I mean he’s soaked by rain, while “Things Can Only Get Better” plays in the background courtesy of an anti-Tory protestor with a big speaker and a dream; the song adopted by he Labour Party for the 1997 election, where Tony Blair famously won a landslide victory after 18 years of Tory rule. Eventually, the volume of it is raised so high Sunak is, on more than one level, drowned out.

5.37pm

According to Gabriel Pogrund of the Times, Labour can’t believe Number 10 allowed this to happen.

One Labour insider texts: “Umbrellas are woke”

6.06pm

Good tweet alert!

8pm

A later Guardian article reports that Sunak greeted around a hundred Tory activists – still wearing the same rain-soaked trousers from the announcement.

No word at all on why he doesn't have aides capable of fetching him dry trousers. Perhaps those, too, are woke.

8.14pm

A Sky News reporter is at Sunak’s campaign launch.  But, bafflingly, he’s forcibly removed.  Extraordinary scenes

Elanor's Pro Tip: Removing a journalist may not be the best PR move for the start of an election trail.

8.27pm

9.36pm

A GBNews reporter claims that some Tory MPs are trying desperately to replace Sunak as leader in order to call off the general election.  For this to work, they’d need a vote of no confidence before the dissolution of parliament on Thursday 30 May.  Except actually, that would have to happen before the proroguing of parliament on Friday 24 May.

So … this won’t work.  But how very incredible - and hilarious - that they’re trying.

10.39pm

Let's take a look at the evening headlines!

A great start to Sunak’s campaign, with newspapers - including the Tory giant The Telegraph - celebrating the triumphant launch of his campaign:

Well! WHAT a day! Let's see how Thursday goes.

Thursday 23 May

8.00am

The BBC takes a moment to gleefully throw off the shackles of political oppression of the last 12 years to reveal that Rishi Sunak's announcement of a July election, the single most important announcement for a sitting government, the most sensitive and vitally-timed event in their calendar...

Was a total surprise to the rest of the party.

Tory party MPs found out when we did that they were about to have to campaign again. For a snap GE. Three weeks after having just done it for the council elections, in which they experienced the greatest single loss of their councillors in history. Even the damn meeting agenda was fake.

Still. Perhaps this explains the lack of umbrella or trousers.

9.09am

Nigel Farage confirms he will NOT stand at the general election. 

*pause for applause*

That’s because he’s helping Trump get re-elected in the US right now.

*pause for screams*

This is good news for the Tories!  And the rest of Britain, actually (commiserations to America. Please shoot him). Farage’s right-wing populist party - Reform UK - is the spiritual successor to UKIP and the Brexit Party, who’ve been splitting the right-wing vote for years.  Farage is popular; it’s bad news for Reform if he’s not part of their campaign, but simply fantastic news for those of us who think queer folks, women and people of colour deserve human rights.

9.19am

According to BBC News and others, Sunak has hired Isaac Levido, the election strategist behind the Tories’ landslide win in 2019.  Levido knows his stuff, and advised Sunak to stick with an autumn election.

Sunak ignored this advice.  Lol.

9.20am

In the Guardian, Sunak says there WON’T be planes of immigrants flying to Rwanda before the general election.  Good news for those of us who think it’s monstrous to deport immigrants to countries with unsafe governments.  Bad news for Tory voters who were hoping to get racists to vote for them.

Now, this is particularly funny, because promising to deport refugees to Rwanda in spite of overwhelming legal opposition on human rights grounds is probably the single hill that the Tories have chosen to commit genocide on. This bill has been in and out of every court in the land since they promised it in 2019. It's been on again off again more than a tawdry tabloid romance. But, they finally managed to push it through, and the first planes were set to fly in July.

This means! That Sunak's strongest cards going into the election were the drop in inflation, and the Rwanda bill. He could sell it as "In spite of those bleeding heart liberals, we persevered and managed to tenaciously get rid of these browns and thus fulfilled our promise", and the fact that it won't actually affect the immigration numbers wouldn't be clear until after the election. And make no mistake, it is VITAL that those planes fly before any election - quoth one influential Conservative MP on the right of the party to the BBC:

“I know what question you’re going to ask us again and again. "You’ll say we’ve been banging on about Rwanda for years and we’ve only managed to fly one migrant out there - and we paid him to go”.

It took a single day for that gamble to dramatically fail.

Lol. Lmao, even. One might almost say rofl.

9.21am

Sunak is emphasising his own role in managing the economy.

The Guardian’s Rowena Mason points out that it might be better to sell this as a Tory victory rather than a Sunak victory, considering how badly Sunak’s doing as an individual in the polls.

10.45am

I'm obviously giving a lot of attention here to the funniest and most ridiculous stuff, but let’s take a moment to celebrate some genuinely brilliant journalism:

0_o

The whole article’s worth reading. It confirms that at least one more hi-vis wearer was a Tory councillor in disguise (in this case Ben Hall-Evans). Perhaps this is why they started by removing all the real journalists.

12.42pm

Sunak’s campaign takes him to a brewery in Wales!  He attempts some Bonding With The Working Man and asks the workers if they’re excited for the football.

Top tip: if you don’t realise the country you’re in hasn’t qualified for the Euros, maybe don’t even mention the subject.

6.55pm

... here is a new problem. Ish.

As mentioned, three weeks ago, England held local council elections. In that time, the Tories lost over half their councillors; an unprecedented and staggering loss in one event. We are all still bathing in the schadenfreude.

But, many of those then left the party (probably fairly, actually - monsters though Tories are, that cannot have been fun.) But, the way politics in the UK works is that when you vote, you don't vote for the party - you vote for your local representative, and then it's a numbers game as to which party gets to rule. This means, with this sudden last-minute possibly-impulsively-declared-by-one-soggy-madman election now six weeks away, those candidates all need replacing so that the Tories will have a shot at getting the numbers they need to form a majority government.

Channel 4’s Paul McNamara reports that Conservative HQ have emailed asking for candidates in almost 100 seats.  The deadline’s tight for this – and apparently, joining the lengthening list of people who weren't informed of this stupid election plan, Tory associations are livid at being left so unprepared.

Now, a lot of these seats are Labour strongholds, so you don’t necessarily need more than a token Tory candidate for them. Phew! A great relief.

But some of them are actually good Tory seats. Uh oh!  Basildon, Bury St Edmunds, Wellingborough and Rushden …  It’s a bad hit to the Tories to have so little time to find good candidates for these seats.

8.59pm

Labour launch a campaign video.  It’s long, but the message is, “Remember life before the Tories got into power?  Wasn’t it BRILLIANT?”

And to prove how great 2009 was, they’ve included a clip of David Tennant’s Dr Who saying “I don’t want to go.”

Lol.

9.57pm

Filmmaker Richard Cubitt jokily suggests he could stand as a Tory candidate, and immediately defect to Labour as soon as possible once elected.

I don’t know if the deadline’s closed, but I am now speaking to the chat. Lads: the time will never be better. Do it. Tell the Tories you'll stand for them. Immediately defect. You have the opportunity to do the funniest thing. Be the rot in the barrel. The time is now.

ANYWAY. Oh boy. Day one of campaigning was quite bad. Ah well! Onwards and upwards for Wali Heb Broli. Let's see what Friday brings.

And of course: the losses are staggering (100 candidates!), but it could be worse.

At least it's not senior MPs.

Friday 24 May

7.00am

Over 70 MPs confirm they will not be standing for re-election.

7.35am

It’ll be lovely to see this election get rid of some truly awful Tories.  But no need to wait that long!  John Redwood stands down.  I haven't mentioned him before, but let's look at his clownface eggshell.

He opposed reducing the age of consent for homosexuality in 1994 and 1999, he voted to keep Section 28 in 2003, he opposed same sex marriage, he voted to reintroduce the death penalty in 1988, 1990 and 1994, he’s argued against Greta Thunberg over the UK’s climate emissions.

Although English, he became Secretary of State for Wales in 1993, and at a Tory conference, had to mime badly to the Welsh national anthem which he hadn’t bothered learning.  In 1995, he cheated Wales out of a £100 million grant by returning it unspent to the treasury, so it could go back to England.

So, John – if by some fantastically rare chance you’re somehow reading this – it’s wonderful to see you step down.  I wish you a very warm fuck you.  And I hope the rest of your life is absolutely horrible and filled with immeasurable pain. Kisses.

7.58am

Vicky Spratt of the i newspaper announces that, with an election announced, the Renters’ Reform won’t pass.

This is a big deal, actually - this was a rare good promise in the Tories’ 2019 manifesto to protect renters by ending no-fault evictions.  A good promise!  With cross-parliamentary support, only slowed as much as it was because most Tory backbenchers are landlords and so tried to block it. But the fighting raged on, and it was finally agreed.

And now it’s broken.  Wasting months of work by stakeholders, and thus forming another election promise that would have sailed through if only the election hadn't been called for July.

8.09am

Jeremy Corbyn – remember him? Former Labour leader, who was expelled from the Labour party in 2020 – confirms he’ll be standing as an independent.  He’s continued to be a member of Labour despite being an independent MP – but standing against Labour in an election means he’ll have his membership revoked too.

9.26am

So where are we at? How do you reckon the normal Tories in the party are faring? Do you think they're positive of a win? Do you think they expect to lose?

Great Guardian article here:

Highlights - one government minister happened to bump into his equivalent opposition member, and immediately thrust his official folder towards them, saying, “You might as well have this now.”

Another Tory MP hugged a Labour colleague and cast their arm around the room.  “Good luck.  This is all yours.”

One Tory backbencher was asked if it was a good idea to call an election.  “It’s a disaster. I can’t understand it.”

Even when they’re being optimistic, the Tories seem a little glum.  One long-standing MP said: “Of course I’m going to fight it, I don’t believe in just giving up like the prime minister has obviously decided to.”

A former minister raises an interesting point.  It’s not long, after all, since the Tories suffered those major defeats at the local council elections.  That's impacted the number of candidates, of course - but, local canvassing is largely done, on all parts of the political spectrum, but activist volunteers.

That loss was three weeks ago. If you were a volunteer who just spent weeks knocking on the doors of your neighbours and community, trying to convince them to vote for the dead horse, and then lost – maybe you won’t feel like hitting the streets again so soon. Maybe you'd prefer to be able to meet your neighbours' eyes when you bump into them in the bread slicing queue at Morrisons.

Some MPs have even admitted they won’t be cancelling holiday plans to fight the election.  On top of that, there's over 70 MPs that have already confirmed they’re quitting and won’t be seeking re-election!!! Absolute scenes.

Interestingly, some anti-Sunak Tories report frustration.  They reckon they were close to calling a vote of no-confidence, in the hopes of replacing Sunak with a different leader.  No idea if this is true – and if true, whether Sunak knew it. But given the panicked speed at which it seems to have been called...

11.08am

The campaign takes Rishi Sunak to the Titanic Quarter, to be interviewed by Belfast Live.

Elanor's Pro Tip: if you’re the leader of a failing political party, maybe don’t let journalists interview you on a site named after history’s most famous sinking ship.

11.57am

How’s the campaign going, Rishi?

Oh, Rishi. Looks like someone else is not meeting anyone's eyes in the bread-slicing queue.

1.12pm

Politics UK reports that 75 Tory MPs are now standing down at the election – the same number of Tories who stood down ahead of the 1997 election.

2.49pm

Sunak’s campaign takes him on board an aeroplane.

Elanor's Pro Tip: if you’re the leader of a failing political party, maybe don’t be photographed in front of an exit sign.

7.07pm

MICHAEL GOVE ANNOUNCES HE’S STANDING DOWN AS AN MP!

I could honestly use that gif like seventeen times in this write up. You can all thank me for my restraint in choosing just one.

The 79th Tory to do so at this election – an all-time record exodus.  Hey gang, would you like to see some familiar names joining him in this?

Theresa May

Sajid Javid

Dominic Raab

Matt Hancock

Ben Wallace

Nadhim Zahawi.

It’s just … not a great sign for the party, is it? That so many prominent MPs don’t reckon it’s worth sticking around.

7.50pm

Hey, remember those parody videos of Hitler getting angry with funny subtitles?  Someone made a good Sunak one:

10.48pm

The Guardian’s Kiran Stacey reports that Sunak will retreat from the campaign trail, spending the next day at home.

Honestly... that's probably best. Let him recover from the bread excitement.

10.50pm

We round off the day with Andrea Leadsom announcing she too is standing down as an MP. Bye, bitch.

WHAT A DAY! Still, Saturday will probably be better.

Saturday 25 May

12am

New episode of Doctor Who drops! It contains Welsh faeries. I later write a post explaining this. You're all welcome. Back to the circus.

10.06am

Good tweet alert!

11.14am

Keir Starmer promises to lower the voting age from 18 to 16 if he wins the election.

2.43pm

Hey remember how David Hameron was supposed to be in Albania? And actually went there? And then had to come back because of Rishi's totally-planned-for election announcement?

The Mirror reports that David Cameron spent £60,000 of taxpayers’ money getting to Albania for that trip.  He was there for 89 minutes, before he had to come back in light of the general election announcement.

This means it cost the country £674 a minute for Cameron to be in Albania for about as long as it takes to watch The Lion King.

6.14pm

Labour and the Tories put candidates forward for 650 seats in a general election.

Of course, that's not quite all of them. The Times’ Patrick Maguire understands that Labour have only 13 candidates left to select, which is pretty good.  The Tories are missing slightly more than that. 

They need to find around 190.

(The number is rising. Chat, you know what to do.)

9.29pm

According to the Telegraph, Theresa May has said if she was still PM she would have used an umbrella to declare the election.

She probably would have, too.

10.11pm

Now then!!! Gather round boys and girls and all the rest!

Remember: the election was called based upon the following main cards in Sunak's hand:

The Rwanda bill

Inflation falling

The Renter's Reform Bill

Inflation fell, but not by as much as it should have. The Rwanda plan fell through a day later. The election itself has blocked the Renter's Reform bill.

Rishi needs a new set of promises stat, in order to shore up votes from his most important bastions of support. What can he offer?

The evening brings the answer!

At 10.11pm - note the time - in spite of having taken the day off, Sunak promises mandatory national service for every 18 year old if he wins the election.  Either a year-long army placement, or a weekend a month volunteering for a year.

Sounds like a good pledge, if you’re hoping to motivate 18-year-olds to vote against you.

10.16pm

The Financial Times’ Jim Pickard reveals that the National Citizen Service (David Cameron’s legacy project) had its funding slashed by two-thirds in a 2022 review of government youth funding - when the chancellor was Rishi Sunak.

Five minutes.  That’s how long it took a journalist to melt Sunak’s new pledge.

Still; Tories never let facts get in the way.

10.27pm

Politics UK reports that leaked documents suggest teenagers would be jailed for refusing this national service.

11.47pm

Sunak's bad ideas generator works hard, but the meme makers of the internet work harder:

Still. Sunday is a day of rest! Hopefully Sunday will be better.

Sunday 26 May

9.50am

Let’s check the Sunday tweets.

Starting to think whoever is in charge of optics for Rishi Sunak may be a Labour plant.

10.21am

Fantastic tweet alert:

I Agree With Gabby

3pm

And then... PLOT TWIST!!!

FT’s Lucy Fisher reports that Sunak’s national service pledge - including assigning up to 30,000 18-year-olds to the military - was rejected this week by one of his own defence ministers.

Defence personnel minister Andrew Murrison warned of a hit to morale, headcount and resources if “potentially unwilling national service recruits” were introduced alongside Britain’s professional armed forces.

EVEN THE ARMY DON'T WANT THIS.

6.47pm

And then:

Incredible story from Gabriel Pogrund of the Times.

St Paul’s School, if you haven't heard of it, is an expensive and famous private school in England somewhere (I forget where and don't care).  As with other private schools, they’d be subject post-election to a Labour plan to remove their VAT exemption.

Tory MP Greg Hands took matters into his own Greg hands, and messaged the school’s parents’ WhatsApp group to try and drum up anti-Labour sentiment.

I can see the logic. These are parents with money, who have chosen to send their children to a private school that often means an easy track into politics generally and the Tory party specifically. I see why he thought he was safe.

Tumblrs, he was not safe.

Parents intervened, complaining about Hands spamming the chat, and claiming his use of the chat was “inappropriate”.

One parent messaged: “Can we stop assuming everyone is a Tory in this group.  A return to more morality, less corruption and more social conscience in British politics is not something to oppose necessarily.”

Another expressed that some parents will “feel it is hard to defend private schools being vat exempt.”

Ouch. Swing and a miss, Greg Hands.

Anyway. New week, new campaigning. I am writing this on Tuesday, and so our tale is nearly at an end for now; so let's see what happened on Monday.

Monday 27 May (Yesterday)

7.40am

Britain's teenagers respond to the national service plan. I love this tweet and the video it reposts:

And here, for your viewing pleasure, is the video:

8.17am

Tory MP Steve Baker (more on him later) actually tweets a public criticism of Sunak’s national service plan.  You might be thinking "Well yes, obviously"! But no! For you see, when approaching elections, parties need to be united. Divided parties generally find it harder to win elections.

Naughty Steve.

8.41am

Foreign Office Minister Anne-Marie Trevelyan, having seen the absolute shambles of Sunak’s campaigning, wakes up this fine Monday morn and invites him to hold her beer.

Appearing on Times Radio, she’s asked whether the parents of teenagers could be prosecuted if the teens refuse to take up national service.

And she doesn’t rule it out.

NO BUT WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT ARE YOU DOING ANNE-MARIE. IS THIS YOUR FIRST DAY OUT OF THE HOUSE.

Parents are NOT prosecuted for any wrongdoing of their ADULT CHILDREN.  How do you not understand this basic legal concept. The answer to that question was “no”!  You say “no” because it makes your party more likely to be elected, and you say “no” because the answer is no.

Oh dear. What a gaffe, as the papers say. Gosh, I really hope Anne-Marie Trevelyan’s gaffe stays contained.

8.56am

The Telegraph duly reports that parents of 18-year-olds might be fined if their children refuse national service.

Anne-Marie Trevelyan’s gaffe did not stay contained.

10.55am

Looks like the Tories are unhappy that the press revealed that Sunak took a day off from campaigning.

But that’s okay, they have a new strategy!  Reported by Politico, they’ve decided to suggest that Keir Starmer is too old to be a good Prime Minister.

They called him “weary” yesterday afternoon;

Tory Party Chair Richard Holden says it’s “bizarre” for Starmer to rest at home the day before a speech (but not for Rishi to - ? You know what, never mind);

A Tory aide tells the Sun that Starmer should be dubbed “Sir Sleepy” (what a Zinger, as those conscripted into national service say);

Another Tory aide calls Starmer “Sleepy Keir” according to the FT.

Keir Starmer is 61 years old.

11.17am

Let's check Tory candidate numbers!!!

Now last we looked it was 190, but obviously, as this is possibly their most urgent priority, they've been working flat out and recruiting across the land and so they have, fair play, managed to reduce that number.

The Spectator therefore reports that the Tories have 12 days to select 160 candidates.  Would you like to see the maths?

This means, on average, they need to select one candidate every 100 minutes.  Which is slightly less time than it takes to watch Toy Story 3.

#ChatYouKnowWhatToDo

12.41pm

The FT’s Lucy Fisher reports that Tory HQ has accidentally sent out an email criticising Tory MPs for failing to campaign, and warning of financial concerns in some seats.

Cannot stress this enough: even if the Tory campaign was going really well and they were predicting a landslide their way, this would be a terrible blow.

5.02pm

The Mirror reports that Tory MP Steve Baker is on holiday in Greece.  That’s pretty irresponsible, isn’t it?  What does Baker have to say for himself?

"The Prime Minister told everyone we could go on holiday and then called a snap election. So I've chosen to do my campaign work in Greece."

… this is the greatest Tory campaign in history.

(And once again... when exactly did you decide to do this, Rishi?)

5.15pm

In an absolutely baffling move whose motives I still cannot entirely fathom, Tory MP Lucy Allan - a repugnant, malignant liar of a woman who once altered an email from a constituent so she could claim it contained a death threat against her - is suspended by the party, for telling voters in her ward to vote for Reform UK instead of the Tories.

...

...

...

...wwwhyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

6.18pm

Good tweet alert! Here's political journalist Jonn Elledge:

6.30pm

Meanwhile, a Tory chooses to contact journalist Theo Usherwood over WhatsApp, criticising the election strategist Isaac Levido:

Now this is particularly interesting, because Levido is the guy who managed to swing the last GE to BlowJo, even though Labour were riding high on Corbyn. And I don't know, maybe he is actually shit at this and all that was luck.

I just... wouldn't have said he was the reason for this one going the way it is. Necessarily.

Finally, let's finish off Monday with a last good tweet:

10.06pm

***

That's all for now, folks! Thank you for reading, enjoy the circus playing out this week!

[befemininenow]

Give up the pair down there for a set up here? Sounds like a fair trade.

Woman Crush Wednesday is a little conflicting today and one that has bothered me for some time. However, it’s not so much because it’s the anniversary of a tragic world event. It’s because today’s crush is less of a inspiring figure and more so of a deep desire to look like her. Daisy Marquez is a beauty influencer that made a name for herself for her self-taught beauty skills. She has been on my radar for quite some time and it’s primarily because of her gorgeous looks. In fact, she’s pretty much how I aspire to look like in the future as I feel a familiarity when I see her appearance. She’s like my doppelgänger if I was AFAB. As much as I admire her skill of learning the craft of makeup, I wish I could say the same about her personality.

Stay tuned. I have two more captions featuring the same woman in the same outfit.

[reasonsforhope]

"The South Australian premier, Peter Malinauskas, has announced plans to ban political donations from state elections, paving the way for nation-leading electoral reforms.

The state’s electoral amendment bill announced on Wednesday [June 12, 2024] night will ban electoral donations and gifts to registered political parties, members of parliament and candidates. The state will provide funding to allow parties and candidates to contest elections, run campaigns and promote political ideas.

Malinauskas said his bill would put South Australia on the “cusp of becoming a world leader in ending the nexus between money and political power”.

“We want money out of politics. We know this is not easy. These reforms may well face legal challenge,” Malinauskas said.

“But we are determined to deliver them, with this bill to be introduced in the parliament in the near future.”

In a subtle challenge to his federal and state counterparts, the premier told Guardian Australia he thought it was “something that democracies everywhere should be pursuing”.

The Albanese government pledged to introduce spending and donation caps, and truth in political advertising laws, as revealed by Guardian Australia after the 2022 federal election and confirmed by a parliamentary inquiry that reported last July.

The special minister of state, Don Farrell, said last month an agreement between the major parties and the crossbench had not yet been reached. An amendment bill is still expected by the middle of the year.

In order to level the playing field for newly created parties and independent candidates, the South Australia bill will allow candidates to receive donations up to $2,700, although they will remain subject to campaign spending caps.

Those spending caps have been set at $100,000, multiplied by the number of candidates up to a maximum of $500,000.

If the bill is passed, a registered political party will be entitled to a one-off payment of $200,000 before 31 August 2026. Whichever is lower out of $700,000 or the number of party members of parliament multiplied by $47,000 will also be given to parties for operational funding.

Membership fees will be allowed to continue but will be capped at $100 or less a year.

To deter attempts to circumvent the proposed changes, a maximum penalty of $50,000 or 10 years’ imprisonment will apply.

The guide acknowledges the proposal would lead to a rise in the cost of South Australia’s electoral system, but says a tightening of expenditure and party registration rules will keep costs to a minimum.

The Albanese government is under crossbench pressure to introduce electoral reforms before the next federal election.

Lower house independents, including Kate Chaney, Zali Steggall, the Greens, David Pocock, Lidia Thorpe and the Jacqui Lambie Network, joined forces to introduce a bill for fair and transparent elections in March [2024].

The bill contained a suite of reforms including truth-in-political advertising, a ban on donations from socially harmful industries including fossil fuels, and tightening the definition of gifts to capture major party fundraisers, including dinners and business forums."

-via The Guardian, March 18, 2024

[blindmagdalena]

The Drug In Me Is You

18+ 3.2k vampire!homelander x supe f!reader. dacryphilia, noncon, p-in-v, blood drinking, possessive homelander, vampire bites as an aphrodisiac, cunnilingus, fingering, kidnapping, reader is held captive, gaslighting, abuse. dead dove!

Ever since Homelander got his cold dead hands on you, you've been the answer to his every prayer. You exist solely for him, kept safe in his home, delicious to the point where he refuses any blood that isn't yours. He isn't conscious of the extent he's grown to rely on you until the day he comes home to find you gone.

written for Monsterlander Mania! thank you @staarboyyy for the incredible vamplander gif. 🖤

There are few things that Homelander despises more in this world than summer. While the heat doesn’t bother him even beneath the thick layers of his suit, the rest of the world isn’t so lucky.

The meet and greets are by far the worst; a crowded collection of sweaty bodies piling in against one another like directed cattle, stewing in their own filth just long enough to reek of their own humanity by the time they’re touching him with clammy hands.

He’s never more grateful for his suit–especially his gloves–than during these occasions.

On top of that, these sardine can buildings become an echoing cacophony of juicy, throbbing hearts, every single one of them pounding in eager anticipation. Indoor events are better for blocking out the sun, but worse for every other aspect when it comes to his senses.

By the end of the day, his skull is throbbing and his stomach is twisting itself into knots. He needs quiet. He needs home. He needs to eat.

It’s dark by the time he lands on his balcony, the hour late. While he does prefer flying at night, he doesn’t like coming home so late. He tugs off his glove to use the thumbpad, which unlocks his automatic door. Stepping inside, he then hits a switch that triggers his blackout blinds to close behind him alongside the door.

“What a fucking day,” he grouses, making his way to the kitchen. “Twelve hours of this shit. I hate summer,” he says, tossing both of his gloves onto the kitchen counter. He reaches into the fridge and pulls out a bottle of water and a dark, thick green slurry in a tall lidded cup. It’s packed full of everything he both needs and likes, but perhaps most important is the iron content.

He goes through a fair amount of that.

“But I’m glad I’m home,” he says, carrying both beverages to his bedroom. “Because it looks like someone didn’t drink their shake.”

Homelander stops dead in his tracks, staring blankly at his empty bed. Standing perfectly still, he listens for the familiar cadence of your breath. The beat of your heart. Anything to tell him where the fuck you are. When he hears nothing, he drops the drinks unceremoniously to the floor and spins on his heel, instantly tearing through the penthouse.

He doesn’t smell blood or death, but the thought of you dead seizes him anyways, hurling him instantly into a panic. He scans through every wall and ceiling, but you’re not here. He calls your name, shouting it down each hall, but he’s met only with the reverberations of his own distraught voice.

At the front door, Homelander moves to input the code to open it, but halts abruptly. The panel is green. It hasn’t locked. Pulling it open, a thin piece of plastic falls away from the mechanism. It had been blocking the lock from securing.

Wednesday is grocery day, he recalls distantly. A staff member came to restock the fridge. They must have had the door propped open, and you…

Left. 

You left.

Homelander rips the door open, nearly yanking it off the hinges, and storms down the hall, fangs bared. You must have waited until it was late and the guard presence was scarce, otherwise someone would have reported you. You can’t have gone far.

When Vought realized that the continued development of Homelander’s powers came with a particular quirk that necessitated the consumption of human blood, they began the process of ensuring he always had a steady supply to keep him from eating his adoring fans. He never really cared about where the blood came from until he tasted yours.

Yours was special. It did something no one else’s ever had; it made him feel alive. He could taste the world in ways he never could before, and if he drank enough, he swore he could feel his heart start to beat. None of the scientists knew why. It didn’t matter to him. From that point on, he wasn’t interested in drinking from anyone other than you.

That was when he decided to keep you close at hand. Cut out the middleman.

You belong to him, and you have for months. He’s taken the utmost care of you, ensuring that you could have everything you need within the confines of his penthouse. The finest foods, every form of entertainment one could dream of, exquisite service at your fingertips and most compellingly of all, the love and adoration of the world’s greatest hero.  

So why the fuck would you leave?

Homelander rips through the tower. He’s furious, wounded and hungry. Those few security guards smart enough to get out of his way evade his rampage while a couple of unlucky ones wind up with their own personal craters in various walls.

He can smell the intoxicating allure of you trailing a path through the halls, but the combination of his hunger and his rage makes following it disorienting. He’s in no condition to hunt–he’s become sickeningly complacent in your time together, more reliant on you than he ever would have admitted freely. He’s grown to love the wait, letting himself feel his hunger so that you taste all the sweeter on his tongue.

Now the churn of it in his gut burns like fire.

Nevertheless, he is relentless, and within minutes he finds you in the garden just outside the tower, locked in by looming steel gates. You aren’t even properly dressed, garbed only in the thin loungewear he keeps you in, barefoot and combing your fingers through a tall hedge full of flowers just beginning to wither, their pink petals curled and browning.

You don’t even notice him until he’s upon you, snatching your wrist and whirling you around so sharply, the hedge behind you drops its wilting petals in a flurry. He must be a fearsome sight if your expression is anything to go by, your eyes wide and panicstricken.

“What the fuck were you thinking?” He hisses through his teeth, fangs fully protracted. You take a breath to speak, but he doesn’t want to hear it. He jostles you by your shoulders to cut you off, fingers biting into your arms.  “Do you have any idea how fucking worried I was?”

Your pulse is racing. He can hear it, feel it in your wrist beneath his thumb. The sound of it is nearly enough to throw him to the ground, to shred the thin veneer of humanity he wears and give in to the bloodlust. His thumbnail tilts ever so slightly, biting a crescent mark into the supple flesh of your wrist. Never have you felt more tender in his hands. Never has he come so close to tearing you apart.

One slip, and you would be spilling red all over his tongue. 

“I just–” you begin, but he pulls you sharply up into his arms, seething so furiously that he can’t stand to hear you speak. He’s too far gone. Too fucking hungry.

“We’ll talk at home,” he grits out, and with a sonic boom that rips the remaining blossoms from the hedge in a flurry, he launches into the sky, purposefully flying too fast to allow for conversation. He holds you to his chest as tightly as he dares, landing back on his balcony with a thud. He uses the thumbpad and damn near tears the door off the hinges pulling it open. 

Homelander doesn’t have time to waste. You bounce a few times with the way he drops you onto the bed. Glancing up, he catches sight of himself in the myriad of mirrors. No wonder you looked at him the way you did. He looks crazed, lips parted around his fangs, his usual bright blue eyes shining pure crimson.  

It’s fine. It’s fine. Everything will be fine after this.

You scramble up the bed, moving backwards on your hands, but he catches you by the ankle and yanks you back down it, climbing on top of you with a frustrated noise that fades off into a sigh. “Y’see what you do to me?” He asks, voice low and frayed. You yelp when he rips your shirt clean apart, exposing your top half completely.  Your skin is adorned beautifully with the history of your night.

You bruise easily for a supe. Your blood just loves to rush to the surface for him, vessels full and bursting under his grip. The memory of inflicting these marks is so intoxicating that even in his frenzy he can’t help but lean down and drag his tongue over one of the bruises that mottle the pretty skin of your chest. Under his tongue, you feel like ripe fruit yearning to be bitten into.

“Please, Homelander, stop,” you plead prettily. He can hear your tears in the tremble of your voice, practically taste the salt in the air.

Good, he thinks viciously. Cry. Regret. Never do this to me again.

“Played a dangerous game tonight, sweetheart,” he tells you, that pet name dripping with affection and venom in equal measure. He forces your legs apart and settles between them, tearing what little clothing remains on your body like paper and tossing it aside. He presses his palms down against your thighs, and the heat of you compared to the chill of his fingers nearly burns. He pushes your legs up and apart, soaking in the sweet smell of your cunt.

Sex and feeding have always gone hand in hand for Homelander. Vought tried for years to satiate him with plastic blood bags and artificial alternatives, but it never fed him the way a meal he could fuck does. Still, all of them paled in comparison to you. Your inner thighs are a mixture of both new and faded punctures that dot your body in matching pairs, scars that he hopes never fade. They mark you as his.

Neither of you will ever settle for another ever again. “I didn’t mean to make you worry, please–please let me explain,” you weep, trying to squirm out of his grasp. With a predatory growl he yanks you back into place, unwilling to listen.

The hunger is driving him to madness. He can feel your pulse like it’s his own, the sound of it thundering in his ears until it threatens to split his skull in half. His nails bite into your skin while he leans in, deaf to your begging as he closes his eyes and opens his mouth wide, sinking his fangs into the soft, succulent meat of your inner thigh.

Your blood spills into his mouth like rich ambrosia. He moans loudly, losing himself to the taste and the heat. Your blood is transcendent, going beyond nourishment. Your pulse reminds his heart to beat. The more he drinks, the more the warmth of you fills his frigid body, thawing out his sanity alongside it. Your heat courses steadily through him, the fervor of it vanishing that nauseating pound from his skull until the only throb he’s left with is the one between his legs.

He sucks in a wet breath when he breaks away from you, panting his delirious pleasure. There’s nothing in this world than the high that comes after being satiated from a frenzy. It’s like he’s floating, his tongue and throat tingling with your sweet nectar.

He isn’t the only one tingling. He can smell the heady musk of your arousal. Your fearful tears are no match for the effect his bite has on your body, how his saliva mingles with your blood and makes you ache for him.

Without his hunger deafening him to the world, he can focus again. He takes a moment to lap at where he’s bitten you, cleaning up the blood that dripped from the wounds. He trails his blood-warmed tongue inward, far from placated. 

He pins your thighs down flush to the bed and nestles into the sweet core of you, plunging his tongue eagerly into your cunt. Your body jolts, but he holds you steady, eagerly swirling his tongue, collecting the taste of you to drink down. He sucks hungrily at your clit, pulling off of it with wet little pops, kissing and licking and sucking until you’re writhing beneath him for all the right reasons.

Devouring you like this is working him back up into a different kind of frenzy. He slips one finger into you, then two, mouthing your clit while he fucks you with his fingers, coaxing more and more from you. Your walls feel so fucking soft and velvety around his fingers, and his need to feel you quivering around his cock is rapidly outpacing his hunger for the taste of your cunt. With one last deep plunge of his tongue, he lifts himself over you, reaching down to hurriedly unclasp his belt, staring down at you with lust glazed eyes.

You’re a mess. Your whole body is flushed with heat, and you’ve barely stopped moaning since he bit you. He’s heard the effects of his bite described like a fever, a delirious experience that robs you of your senses and leaves you desperate for more, for anything of him. Even so, you haven’t stopped crying. It makes you look sweet. Vulnerable. Fucking delicious.

“Mmm, you’re pretty when you cry, baby,” he says, running his tongue along his teeth, over the sharp juts of his fangs. He gets his cock free and adjusts himself between your legs, laying over you. “This your way of saying sorry? Because it’s working,” he tells you, bracing one hand on the bed next to you while he uses the other to hold the base of his cock, dragging the head of it up and down through the wet mess of your pretty pussy lips. “Show me how sorry you are, sweetheart. Be good for me,” he murmurs against your skin, nuzzling at your throat.

Opening his mouth, Homelander bites into your neck at the same time he thrusts forward, letting out a muffled, ragged moan as he sinks into you on both fronts, shuddering with how fucking good it feels, tight and wet and hot as sin. Between that and the fresh rush of your blood down his throat, he ascends to a state of goddamn euphoria.

You make a noise somewhere between a sob and a moan. He drinks you up, savors the sound of you as much as he does the taste. He snaps his hips, wastes no time fucking you deep, holding you still with the lock of his jaw while he pounds you into the mattress.

“Oh, ffffuck,” he groans, lips bloodied. He laps at the blood on your neck, the sound of it as wet as his cock hammering your cunt with the relentlessness of a machine, utterly inhuman in the way he takes you. “So good to me, aren’t you? Feeding me, taking me. Mmm, fuck, m’close,” he says, nuzzling at your skin, enamored with the warmth of you.

With the ravenous insanity of his bloodlust fading, his thrusts become less brutal. He hikes your thigh over his hip and holds it there, sliding into a rhythm that’s something closer to making love. Your cunt quivers all around him, and by the noises you’re making he knows you’re electrified, out of your mind with the haze of pleasure that his bite induces. “M’gonna take care of you, too. You know that, don’t you? Yeah, y’do, and you won’t ever fucking leave me again. Don’t know what I’d do if I lost you,” he pants, mouthing at the shell of your ear.

It’s a lie. He knows what he would do. He would punish any world that dared take you from him. The thought alone would be enough to enrage him all over were he not so deeply soothed by your iron on his tongue and your soft body giving into him. If he had breath to give, it would be stolen by the way you seize up against him, orgasm taking hold of you like a possession, capturing your voice and rolling your eyes heavenward.

This is love. This undying hunger, this obsessive compulsion to keep you close. He craves you not just for the ambrosial taste of your blood, but for your soft lips against his and the timbre of your voice. He brought you into his life to satiate his bloodlust, but never could he have fathomed the greater emptiness that you would fill. Knowing you were here waiting for him has made him understand for the first time in his life what it means to come home.

He’ll ruin you before he loses you.

Homelander comes with a low, wrecked moan, kissing you fervently as he stops to empty himself into you as deeply as possible, forehead pressed to yours.

You’re panting, letting out pitchy little wisps of sound with every breath. He gently kisses them from your lips, hushing you. “S’alright, sweetheart. I’ve got you,” he murmurs, kissing your cheek, licking the salt of your tears from his lips. He cups the other side of your face and strokes it with his thumb. You’re shaking all over. He slips an arm around you to draw you close, to comfort you as you come down from your high. “Ssshhhh. Everything’s alright. M’right here, and I love you.”

That wrings a tight little sob out of you. He smiles, dazed on his own lingering ecstasy. “Hey, hey, it’s okay. No one’s going to hurt you,” he assures you, kissing your forehead. “Can’t imagine how scared you must’ve been, wandering alone in the dark like that,” he says, stroking your cheek with the back of his knuckles. “Just happy I found you before anything happened to you.”

What if someone else had found you like that? Confused and vulnerable. He would have found you eventually, but had anyone been unlucky enough to lay their hands on you before then, they wouldn’t have hands for much longer. He kisses you again, firmer, possessive. “Don’t cry, baby. You’re safe now. You’re home.”

Gingerly, he slips from the wet heat of your body and adjusts himself, getting you both situated under the covers. He spends a while soothing you, rubbing your back while you lay in his arms, kissing the top of your head every so often.

“You alright?” He asks eventually. You aren’t shaking anymore, but you haven’t said a word. It makes him a touch… anxious.

“Yes,” you whisper. It’s not very convincing, but he wants to believe it enough that he accepts the answer anyways.

“Good,” he purrs, slipping his hand over the back of your neck. His fingertips brush your menagerie of scars, each bite a reminder of how thoroughly you have allowed him to love you. “That’s my good girl. I love you,” he says with a smile, tipping your head back to kiss your lips.

He waits.

“I love you,” he says again.

“I love you, too,” you finally respond.

His smile broadens. He draws you closer to him, listening to the lively thrum of your body. You are the warmth in his own veins, the beat of his heart.  This, too, is love. Kissed lips, bitten limbs, hungering teeth and bodies intertwined. It’s sweeter than anything he has ever known. The need in him is a monstrous thing, he knows. He hadn’t known how monstrous it was until he thought–even for a moment–that he’d lost you.

It won’t happen again.

[venusacrossthestars]

Carnival

Summary: You love your boyfriend and you love the edits of your boyfriend that are all over TikTok, however your dirty little secret is soon shared.

Pairing- Charles Leclerc x fem!reader

wc-923

warnings- not proofread, at all. Carnival by Kayne West is the song in question, one sexual innuendo at the end, swearing and FLUFF

f1 masterlist

You were no stranger to TikTok and the editing trends that made their rounds. You have seen your fair share of edits or both real and fictional men. You have even come across a few of your boyfriend and they were, well a sight to see. The first time you liked one with your main account, that had sent the comments and the poor editor into a frenzy. 

You wanted to interact with the fan base, especially the ones on TikTok without acting liked a crazed girlfriend who thirsted over her boyfriend publicly. So you did what any sane person would do and you made a fan account for your own boyfriend, you never posted anything just liking edits and commenting on how wonderful the edit was. 

Charles had no idea and to be honest you didn’t really want him finding out. This was your dirty little secret, something you only looked at when Charles wasn’t home. How was it that these editors were so talented. Putting together a bunch of random clips, the coloring, the transitions, the song choice, all of it was beautiful. 

The song of choice at the moment was Carnival and you weren’t complaining. Your entire saves was filled with edits of Charles to this song. You have probably seen hundreds and you ate it up everytime. 

It was a random wednesday and Charles was off doing his workout and you had thought that there was no better time than to open TikTok and go scroll through your saves. Too lost in your own little world you failed to notice the front door open a close, signaling that Charles was home. 

The only thing that Charles could hear throughout the apartment was a song he wasn’t familiar with. ‘Go Go, go, go, go Head so good, she a honor roll She'll ride the dick like a carnival’. What the hell were you watching? 

Coming up behind you Charles could see his own pictures flash across the screen to the song. He watched as you scrolled down and to his surprise it was another video of himself to the same song. 

“What are you watching?” Charles ask. 

You nearly screamed at Charles’ voice, not expecting him to be back so soon. You turned off your phone and flung it across the couch, “You’re home early!” 

“No, No, No. We aren’t changing the subject. What were you watching?” 

“Nothing…” you say sheepishly. 

Charles raises an eyebrow at your tone, “Are you sure?” 

“Mhmm,” you hum out, “Absolutely sure.” 

Charles moves next to you on the couch and grabs your phone. You go to reach for it but Charles is quick to grab it back. “I think I know what you were doing.” 

“Charles,” you groan out “Give me my phone please.” 

Charles continues to hold it out of reach, no matter how you move or where you move to, he is one step ahead. “Not until you tell me who that handsome man was on your screen.” 

“Charlie, stopppp.” You groan out, “It’s embarrassing.” 

“Then I’ll just have to keep this,” he says, pocketing your phone. 

“Fine! I was watching edits of you!” 

Charles giggles out at your admission and you hide your face in your hands, heat creeping up your neck. 

“I want to see,” Charles says, “show me your favorites.” 

“Wow, someones is a little vain.” 

“I’m not the one who was watching edits of their significant other.” Charles teases. 

“Well now I don’t want to.” 

“Mon amour, please.” Charles begs and you turn away from him. You won’t fall victim to his pleading eyes this time.

“Mon amour. Mon cheri. Please my love. I’m not making fun of you I swear.” 

You could never hold your resolve to Charles’ pleading, “Fine, can I have my phone?” 

Charles hands you your phone and you are quick to unlock it. You exit the edit you were currently watching to scroll back up to the top of your saves. 

“I made a separate account to like and comment. One time I liked with my personal account and I think I nearly sent the editor into a early grave. I wanted to interact with the fans but I thought you might think its strange for your girlfriend to be liking thirst edits of you.” 

“I think it’s adorable,” Charles says, pinching your cheeks. You swat his hands away in embarrassment. “But y’know you can thirst over me anytime, right?” 

“Of course I do, it’s just these edits do something to me. I can’t explain it.” 

“Well let me see.” 

“Fine,” you scroll down to where you know the edit is, “This one has been real popular lately. There are more to this song, the one that was playing when you walked in earlier, I really like them.” 

You hold your phone to at an angle so that Charles can see the edit play out. He sits in silence for the whole thing and once it loops you pause it and wait Charles reaction. 

“Wow,” he pauses, trying to think of what to say next, “people really make edits of me to songs like this.” 

“Yes and I don’t blame them. You are very sexy.” 

“I can see why you watch them. If there were edits of you I’d be watching them all the time. Can I see another?” 

“Sure.” You scroll down to another Carnival edit and you watch as Charles is encaptured by himself. 

“Well the song got one thing right-you do ride dick like a carnival.” Charles chuckles out. 

“CHARLES!” 

taglist- (crossed out names mean I couldn't tag you)

@arieslost @spookystitchery @tpwkstiles @oliveswiftly @morgonjinn @herondalism @softieekayy @deprxssed-loser @noreri @boiohboii @im-on-a-hellavator @captainchickadee @whatever7justchillin @outerudeth @jscircuit @loveyatopluto @saiteliites @asparklysoul @missmontiopath @helanahaadock @froggybij @slaygirlbossworld @vee2004dee @tennisloversblog @slvtforredheads @senna13sworld @hellobeauty-06 @jaxx-7 @anastasiamoony @reguluscrystals @gr1mes-cc @yoooooooogiiiiiiii @sharlsworld @janeholt3 @valtkitty @wondergirl101ks @georgeparisole @m4dyl @janegxi @amberpanda99 @itsmeimthedissapointment @jah0700 @non-binaryandy @sarahskomal @anedpev @xqwiser @apllo-axolotl @h34rts4maisey @anonymousjo @megsmclaren @charizznorizz @decadentlightchaos @adelinemack @bwormie @bonbonvz @hoodshair @bunbun9396 @fangirlika @vex-et-soleil @sillylittlegooselings @hlhclh @stvrlec16 @omgsuperstarg @luanasrta @its-cat-eyes @taytaythirteen @marekmybeloved @rqlstefanny @nickxcorpse @olivyamarvelgirl @violyn20 @emisaxols @thesouistone @hangmandruigandmav @embonbon

[jeoncopi]

• — wednesday — •

GET INTO IT: I’m not really sure what is this but I saw this jungkook again and so this came out lmao. (jungkook is kind of an asshoolee here tho..)

PAIRING: jungkook x reader

WORD COUNT: 1.2k

THIS IS A: drabble.

“it’s not fair! babe. let me make it up to you, hm?”

“let me go.”

“please, please, please listen to me.. babe, please.”

jungkook doesn’t seem to understand that what you feel is beyond upsetting.

how many times is he going to promise something he can’t even achieve?

“it was so simple. so, so simple jungkook.” you’re clearly upset.

“I know but—“

his arms are no longer around your body.

“that’s your excuse. ‘I know but’. everytime you say that, I know there’s some bullshit coming.” you pause. “just how many times you’ll keep this game coming up? am I some sort of game?”

“no! never!”

“so why you keep failing me like this? don’t say you’ll meet me in some place and not go. it’s your 5th time doing this shit and to be honest I even gave you too many opportunities to bounce back but you never do. only doing worst by each time. it’s embarrassing! I can’t even make plans even if it’s short with my boyfriend ‘cause he doesn’t wanna show up? embarrassing!”

“I do want to show up!”

“then why the fuck do you fail me each time?” your pierced gaze showing nothing more but annoyance with a bunch of mixed feelings. anger, sadness, disappointment, embarrassment, you name it. it couldn’t get any worst. “oh, are you gonna say ‘it’s for work’ each time I say why do you keep meeting this new girl? you think I don’t know?”

“baby I will never cheat on you if that’s what you’re implying.” tone so serious. jungkook really doesn’t want to mess things up. more so.

“fucking explain.” as sharp as you say it, you just want to know the truth.

“I.. um. agh! I don’t even know why I’m nervous, I ain’t doing dumb shit so why—“ mumbling more to himself, he clears his throat. “anyways.” careful of touching your hands in case you slap them away, he approaches you very slowly. surprisingly, you let him.

“you know how badly I want to say you’re the only girl in my eyes and that I could never love or devote to anyone the way I do with you. believe me when I say you’re the only woman in this whole world who has seen me like this and whom I treat like this.” eyes so clear, you could say he really meant this but still, you couldn’t just give in like this so you just let him speak only looking at him with the same pierced eyes. “but I hate cliche things and I know you already know all of this even if you’re mad at me so I’m just gonna say that the reason why I have been meeting this new girl is because of my manager.” he desperately pauses. “he does know I’m taken and baby,” he gently squeezes your hands onto his. “believe me when I say I make it fucking clear that I am dating YOU. like there’s no one there that doesn’t know I’m dating YOU.” he pauses. eyes glistening pleading for forgiveness while he continues to speak. “but somehow my boss wants me to get closer to her. I wasn’t even gonna speak, even look at her but he wants me and her to get close.”

“of all people?” you take his hands off of yours but he takes them back.

“I think he wants to fuck her if I’m being honest.” it’s his response.

“and that has something to do with you because…?” you still can’t believe he’s saying this shit.

“by his own words, he knows I’m the best at persuasion with people. he wants her to work with him in this big upcoming project we have and the best way to get her close is.. by talking to me.”

you’re silent. no words coming out of your mouth and that gets jungkook to plead even more.

“I swear to god say something.” anxiously biting his lips he gets closer to you but you just keep on staring at him without a word. “..babe.”

“how does that explains you dipping each we have plans?” he’s silent. “am I not your first priority? like I thought so! as YOU claim.” sarcasm wasnt out of this house.. was it?

he sighs. “you are.”

“then?”

his eyes.. they start scanning your entire body. up and down as you want to know what’s going on inside of his head.

“wanna fuck you right now.”

“what?” you just made the most disgusting face that could ever be created. “the fuck are you saying right now?! I can’t with you. i’m fucking done.” getting away from him, you head towards your room until..

he stops you by holding one side of your wrist. “no! babe- wait! l-let me just—let me show you okay? just—“ at this point he thinks he’s the most stupid man on earth. “let me show you why you’re always gonna be my first priority.”

“by fucking me?” you did a quick pause. “that’s not how you’re gonna show it! are you playing dumb? you literally can demonstrate that by fucking showing up to our supposed dates!” eyes becoming watery with anger. “if you wanted to fuck me so bad, then you’ll fucking be good to me and actually listen to me! — I won’t be giving any fucking sex right now or ever! I’m done.”

..and those were your last worst before slapping his hands away from him and smashing the door in front of his face.

jungkook knows he fucked up, he also recognized after thinking for a long time that he needed to grow up. also, that not all problems can be fixed with sex! just.. who the hell he has become to? to leave his girlfriend hanging there, paying less attention to her when he thought the relationship was so fine.. his wrong doing here apart from the many failed dates and promises, was… believing that she could forgive him anytime.

they weren’t kids anymore, they’re literal adults with responsibilities and as much as he was busy, she also is. the difference being, that she could make time for him while he focused way too much into getting his boss to hook up with this new girl.. he thought about how fucked up it was, but even when he didn’t agree with it at all, he still continued to help..

why?

jungkook himself didn’t even know the answer to it only that he just continued to act on literal command..

was this also too much for him? many things needed to get fixed.. but still, he hoped that his pretty, number one girl could ever come again and forgive him.. give him another chance.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Corporate Bullshit

I'm coming to BURNING MAN! On TUESDAY (Aug 27) at 1PM, I'm giving a talk called "DISENSHITTIFY OR DIE!" at PALENQUE NORTE (7&E). On WEDNESDAY (Aug 28) at NOON, I'm doing a "Talking Caterpillar" Q&A at LIMINAL LABS (830&C).

Corporate Bullshit: Exposing the Lies and Half-Truths That Protect Profit, Power, and Wealth in America is Nick Hanauer, Joan Walsh and Donald Cohen's 2023 book on the history of corporate apologetics; it's great:

https://thenewpress.com/books/corporate-bullsht

I found out about this book last fall when David Dayen reviewed it for the The American Prospect; Dayen did a great job of breaking down its thesis, and I picked it up for my newsletter, which prompted Hanauer to send me a copy, which I finally got around to reading yesterday (I have gigantic backlog of reading):

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/27/six-sells/#youre-holding-it-wrong

The authors' thesis is that the business world has a well-worn playbook that they roll out whenever anything that might cause industry to behave even slightly less destructively is proposed. What's more, we keep falling for it. Every time we try to have nice things, our bosses – and their well-paid Renfields – dust off their talking points from the last go-round, do a little madlibs-style search and replace, and bust it out again.

It's a four-stage plan:

I. First, insist that there is no problem.

Enslaved people are actually happy. Smoking doesn't cause cancer. Higher CO2 levels are imaginary and they're caused by sunspots and they're good for crop yields. The hole in the ozone layer is only a problem if you foolishly decide to hang around outside (this is real!).

II. OK, there's a problem, but it's your fault.

An epidemic of on-the-job maimings is actually an epidemic of sloppy workers. A gigantic housing crash is really a gigantic cohort of greedy, feckless borrowers. Rampant price gouging is actually a problem of too much "spending power" (that is, "money") in the hands of working people.

III. Any attempt to fix this will make it worse.

Equal wages for equal work will cause bosses to fire women and people of color. Protecting people with disabilities will cause bosses to fire disable people. Minimum wages will cause bosses to buy machines and fire "unskilled" workers. Gun control will only increase underground gun sales. Banning carcinogenic pesticides will end agriculture as we know and we'll all starve to death.

IV. This is socialism.

Income tax is socialism. Estate tax is socialism. Medicare and Medicaid are socialism. Food stamps are socialism. Child labor laws are socialism. Public education is socialism. The National Labor Relations Act is socialism. Unions are socialism. Social security is socialism. The Fair Labor Standards Act is socialism. Obamacare is socialism. The Civil Rights Act is socialism. The Occupational Health and Safety Act is socialism. The Family Medical Leave Act is socialism. FDR is a socialist. JFK is a socialist. Lyndon Johnson is a socialist. Carter is a socialist. Clinton is a socialist. Obama is a socialist. Biden is a socialist (Biden: "I beat the socialist. That's how I got the nomination").

Though this playbook has been in existence since the nation's founding, the authors point out that from the New Deal until the Reagan era, it didn't get much traction. But starting in the Reagan years, the well-funded network of billionaire-backed think-tanks, endowed economics chairs, and latter-day propaganda vehicles like Prageru breathed new life into these tactics.

We can see this playing out right now as the corporate world scrambles for a response to the Harris campaign's proposal to address price-gouging. Reading Matt Stoller's dissection of this response, we can see the whole playbook on display:

https://www.thebignewsletter.com/p/monopoly-round-up-price-gouging-vs

First, corporate apologists insisted that greedflation didn't exist, despite the fact that CEOs kept getting on earnings calls and boasting to their investors about how they were using the excuse of inflation to jack up prices:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/03/11/price-over-volume/#pepsi-pricing-power

Or the oil CEOs who boasted that the Russian invasion of Ukraine gave them cover to just screw us at the pump:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/03/15/sanctions-financing/#soak-the-rich

There are all these out-in-the-open commercial entities whose sole purpose is to "advise" large corporations about their prices, which is just a barely disguised euphemism for price-fixing, from meat-packing:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/04/dont-let-your-meat-loaf/#meaty-beaty-big-and-bouncy

To rents:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/07/24/gouging-the-all-seeing-eye/#i-spy

That's stage one: "there's no problem." Stage two is "it's your fault." That's Larry Summers and co insisting that a couple of stimulus checks a couple years ago are responsible for inflation, because it gave you too much "buying power," and so the only possible fix is to jack up interest rates and trigger mass layoffs and sharp wage decreases across the economy:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/12/14/medieval-bloodletters/#its-the-stupid-economy

Stage three is "any attempt to fix this will make it worse." When Isabella Weber pointed out that there was a long history of price-controls being used to fight price-gouging, corporate apologists lost their minds and brigaded her, calling her all kinds of nasty names and insisting that her prescription didn't even warrant serious discussion, because any attempt to control prices would destroy the economy:

https://www.theglobeandmail.com/podcasts/lately/article-the-millennial-economist-who-took-on-the-world/

You may recognize this as cousin to the response to rent control proposals, which inevitably trigger a barrage of economists screaming that this will not work and will actually reduce the housing supply and drive up prices, which is true, provided that you ignore all evidence and history:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/05/16/mortgages-are-rent-control/#housing-is-a-human-right-not-an-asset

And stage four is "this is socialism." Look, I am a literal card-carrying member of the Democratic Socialists of America and I can assure you, Kamala Harris is not a socialist (and more's the pity). But that didn't stop the most eminently guillotineable members of the investor class from hair-on-fire, ALL-CAPS denunciations of the Harris proposal as SOCIALISM and Harris herself as a COMMUNIST:

https://twitter.com/Jason/status/1824580470052725055

The author's thesis is that by naming the playbook and giving examples of it – for example, showing how the "proof" that minimum wage increases will destroy jobs was also offered as "proof" not to abolish slavery, ban child labor, add fireproofing to textile factories, and pay women and Black people the same as white guys – we can vaccinate ourselves against it.

Certainly, we've reached a moment where the public is increasingly skeptical of claims that we can't fix anything because the economists say that this is the best of all possible worlds, and if that means that we're all going to boil to death in our own skin, so be it:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/10/27/economism/#what-would-i-do-if-i-were-a-horse

In other words, after 40 years of subordinating politics to economics, there's a resurgence of belief in politics – that is, doing stuff – rather than hunkering down and waiting for the technocrats to fix everything:

https://www.programmablemutter.com/p/seeing-like-a-matt

Corporate Bullshit is a brisk and bracing read – I got through it in about an hour in my hammock yesterday – and, in laying out the bullshit playbook's long history of nonsensical predictions and pronouncements, it does make a very good case that we should stop listening to people who quote from it.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/08/19/apologetics-spotters-guide/#narratives

[amberjazmyn]

perhaps one day🫶

pairing : charles leclerc x fem!reader

summary :  five times the formula 1 grid think charles leclerc has proposed to reader + the one time he actually has

warnings :  literally none, it's fluff, it's cheese, it's cute and it's love

a/n : the title is the worst i've ever come up with so if anyone has anything better, let me know i beg! also, fun fact, before i've put this up on my tumblr, this was actually my first ever f1 piece i had ever written! so i have no idea why i never posted it at the beginning but here it is now!

one

carlos sainz, f1 driver for ferrari and teammate of charles leclerc was certain. absolutely sure, completely convinced that charles, your boyfriend, popped the question. he was like, ten million percent sure. although he wasn't equipped with "evidence" per se, he started to pick up what he thought were tell-tale signs that gave him the impression that charles had put a ring on it. 

the f1 driver was so sure of himself that, he told max verstappen from red bull and the two mclaren drivers, oscar piastri and lando norris. telling them both that the proposal must have happened over their summer break between gp's. the break that, obviously, was never really a proper break. 

"...just look at them you three! i swear to god, charles has proposed," carlos almost squeals, watching the way you two were all over each other, speaking french to one another

"come on now, dude. you could be overreacting--" 

"--in fairness, look at her left hand, she's clearly covering it. it has to be a ring!" max inserts, causing a slight scare for carlos, lando and oscar, worrying that you and charles could have overheard

"and how would you know, max?" lando sassed, oscar and carlos' eyes widening as max chuckled

"isn't it obvious, lando? her left hand is hidden because she wants to tell us rather than us finding it out beforehand," max touches his nose which make carlos, lando and oscar giggle

however, it wasn't until kelly, max's own girlfriend, walked past that shut down the rumours of a potential f1 wedding on its way.

"oh meu deus oh my god. you guys are crazy. the reason why she's hiding her left hand is because, if you guys really paid attention, you would know she has always rested her right hand over her left one. she isn't engaged and charles hasn't proposed to her. you are crazy you boys i swear," kelly chuckled, shaking her head which made oscar, carlos and lando down in the dumps whereas max just chuckled

it wasn't until after you and charles finished chatting each other up in french that you realised that the entire time, max, oscar, carlos, lando and kelly had all been bickering. bickering about what they thought was your proposal that they had completely missed because it was done in secret. 

in which, to clarify, did not happen. kelly was right, the "tell" of you being engaged because you were hiding your left hand was false. you have always hidden your left hand by covering it with your right hand if you leave it resting on a table. 

two

it was a wednesday, middle of the week and the monaco grand prix had just finished. it had been a great result for your boyfriend charles and ferrari. not just a great result but life-changing result. both charles and carlos were on the podium however, it was charles in first place, finally his home win and breaking the monaco curse, mclaren's oscar piastri in second place with carlos in third place. now, it was like they all deserved a full three-day weekend of rest. not just the top three on the podium but all the drivers. although charles was on top of the world that he had finally won his hometown race and is already normally quite flustered, this wednesday, he was even more flustered then usual. it felt like he was running around the paddock like a headless chicken looking for something in the ferrari garage. 

"you good cabron? what are you looking for?" carlos questioned, he was also in the garage as he was resting after doing media with some reporters about the results of the race 

"mamma mia my goodness...yeah...i'm taking y.n for a weekend trip and i printed off our booking for it but, i can't seem to find it," he mutters quite sloppish, his english all over the place after muttering in italian under his breath, continuing to look for it

"ay, that's exciting. where to, any particular reason why?" carlos teases as he moves to lean against the wall 

stopping his search for a second, charles sighed in agitation, "france cause i know she's always wanted to go back after we spent a day there a little while ago. i booked a little air bnb, i printed the booking info like moments ago and now i can't find it!" he was getting angrier, his accent really coming through and for once, carlos didn't want to instigate him 

carlos smiles, noticing it was at a completely different printer, "questa informazioni sulla prenotazione?" he says as he picks it up and hands it to the younger driver who breaths a sigh of relief this booking info

"grazie mille, carlos! i lov...you are my favourite person in the world right now other than y.n!" charles thanks in italian before switching back to english, feeling himself calm down which is when, of course, carlos instigates him with hints of a marriage proposal thank you so much, carlos!

"sooo, with the holiday getaway this weekend, what's it for...you know, anything special other than just because y.n's wanted to return for ages?" carlos teased as charles turned back around and gave carlos what would be classified as a "stank face" 

"ummm, no...no...we're going because y.n's genuinely been wanting to go back to france and i thought we have the time and the money so, we're going for the weekend...why are you asking?" charles gave a look of confusion as carlos just nodded his head in embarrassment 

carlos started backing away when charles jogged after him, the booking for the holiday in his hands, "why are you asking, carlos? smettila di scappare!" thankfully, carlos hadn't run too far as he laughed slightly, obeying charles' italian plea stop running away!

"ay, i just thought you guys were going to come back with a special announcement but, don't worry, it's clearly not that and i apologise for jumping to a conclusion that is obviously not happening. have a great holiday you two. make sure you send us some photos after knowing that you won't be texting or calling us at all," carlos chuckled as that seemed to satisfy charles and he smiled back, nodding 

"lo farò, carlos. the photos will be sent from y.n's phone not mine. have a good weekend yourself, don't do anything i wouldn't do," charles smiled, his bag across his shoulder as carlos smiled back will do, carlos

"i will, grazie. see you tuesday then but truly we can't be too sure because as we know from past situations, f1 don't really like the idea of taking holidays!" carlos chuckled as charles nodded his head before leaving whilst carlos didn't i will, thanks

and that was because, hidden away behind the ferrari garage wall where carlos was leaning against, was lando, oscar and max, all waiting to see if carlos got the information about the "proposal". 

"and, carlos? what did he say? will there be a ring on y.n's finger when they come back?" lando tried, a look of hope in his eyes as carlos just shook his head, max chuckling 

"no, sorry guys. just a holiday to france because y.n wanted to visit again. and, before you ask, yes, i did subtly ask but, no, there will be no ring on her finger when they get back..." carlos trailed off as lando groaned in annoyance as carlos, oscar and max's eyes grew wide in shock

"...oh come on! i really thought it would be this time!" lando was truly devastated that his best friend wouldn't be getting proposed to as carlos, oscar and max, again, giggled 

"sorry buddy but, i think mr ferrari's waiting for a specific day if he has even thought about it," max shrugged as carlos nodded his head and left the ferrari garage, leaving oscar and lando with one last thing 

"and if he is, we shouldn't be pushing it or hounding him over it. he'll do it when they are both ready for it!" max says whilst walking out of the ferrari garage 

lando and oscar share looks of, even though they hated it, they couldn't help but agree with max's statement. if it hadn't happened this time and the time before, it's clear that it's not happening just yet. because, one, either charles and y.n hadn't talked about it yet or, they simply aren't ready for it since they were still in their early 20s. 

three

by the third time that lando, carlos, oscar and max thought that charles proposed, the wag's (including kelly) and now danny ric was even watching, looking for any new tells, max now less interested in the bets and rumours. new tells that could possibly tell them if charles had proposed yet or not. and, obviously, because it's the f1 grid, there is at least three different bets going on all at the same time. which makes no sense clearly but, to them it makes sense. 

this time it was lily zneimer, oscar's girlfriend, that noticed something that could have been possibly a little off for charles. he had a little bag on the couch in the ferrari garage. whilst it wasn't out in plain sight, it wasn't being hidden either. so, lily just decided to go for it and straight up ask him what it was. 

"hey, charles, what's in the bag?" lily questioned, a little giddy glint in her eye

charles smiled, making eye contact with lily, "oh, um *shy chuckle* it's just an anniversary gift..." he trailed off nervously, hoping she wasn't close by 

lily felt her shoulders deflate. she knew she should've have felt a little sad that it wasn't likely an engagement ring. but, she still couldn't believe that it had so quickly got to their anniversary. 

"what is it? some jewellery? how many years is it now, charles?" lily no longer cared about the bet or the possibility of an engagement and wedding

she just cared that charles and y.n were still so head over heels in love with each other. even though she knew they'd never fall out of love with one another, especially considering they were dating before and when oscar had joined f1 quite recently, just last year in 2023. 

"oh, just a matching necklace and earrings set. we've been dating for like, four years now. i remember overhearing from someone, it was either kelly or even max that you never gift a partner a ring unless it's a replacement of an old and broken one or you plan to marry them. so, i decided to get her a matching emerald necklace and earrings set because y.n's already got so many rings, not just her own but also ones that my mom has gifted her," charles smiled shyly as lily's face lit up 

"aw, that's so sweet. and happy four years, charles. four years is amazing. you and y.n should be so proud of that. and, good on you for deciding to not get a ring as i know so many people at the four year mark who would have gotten a ring and it turn out that they weren't ready to be married. you're really a smart man, charles. i'm sure y.n'll love the present," lily smiled, ruffling his hair in pride for the young racer as charles chuckled, fixing his hair as lily walked away

curious, of course, the other racers (excluding max) gave lily the look. and, lily, with a sense of pride, shook her head no. again, the drivers were saddened but, when lily, oscar's girlfriend explained, they felt a sense of pride wash over all of them. the same pride that washed over lily that charles knew not to gift y.n a ring if it either wasn't a promise ring, engagement ring or a replacement ring for one that broke. 

however, it was at this point, the third time that the grid thought that charles was going to propose that, he actually started planning it. obviously, it doesn't take long before rumours start to travel throughout the grid. so, it wasn't long before charles and even y.n began to hear of the rumours of the two young adults getting engaged. and, that was when the couple started to talk about it. because, like thought of as one of the reasons why it hadn't happened yet, charles and y.n just hadn't spoken about it. not because they didn't want to marry each other, they just hadn't spoken about it in proper detail. until now when they did start a conversation on it after a day of media interviews in the paddock on their four year anniversary and they were each gifted four gifts each. and now, with the knowledge of his girlfriend's ring-size, he decided to ring up max, because, like most people, charles would not have guessed that max was in on all the rumours and the bets so, he asked him for advice.  

let's just say that it was a struggle for the max verstappen to keep a straight face when charles asked him if at some point during a week off from racing that he could help him in finding an engagement ring for y.n. yet, max managed to keep his cool and, obviously, didn't tell the rest of the grid who were in on the rumours and bets about it. because, honestly, it got kind of boring to max about betting when his best friend and rival was going to propose to his girlfriend and also because he didn't want to break charles' trust. and three, whilst he did, as mentioned earlier, participate in the earlier grid rumours and bets, he would never rat out to the betters if he was on the other side. 

four

it's a quiet and slow day when out of nowhere, like, complete nowhere. everyone, except for charles and y.n, rush into the mclaren garage. worrying that something bad had happened like someone had been killed or arrested, it was confusing when they all just saw lando basically hyperventilating. 

"...are you alright lando?" oscar questions with worry, wondering why his teammate was literally hyperventilating if no one had died or been arrested

"i...i think it's the day!" he struggles to say as the grid and wags all look at each other in confusion 

"what? you think it's the day? what day? it's a monday, lando, what could be so exciting about a monday team meeting?" lily then questioned as lando bursted with another round of excitement which scared everyone 

"but that's just it! i think it's happened! i really think charles and y.n are engaged!" lando screeches with excitement as lily shakes her head, the rest of the grid smiling 

"and why do you think that, mate?" oscar speaks up as lando squeals yet again

but, he doesn't say anything and max's eyes widened, "what did you do, lando? what did you hack into?" he was worried that lando had somehow found out about the conversation he had with charles about him helping charles out with finding an engagement ring

"the hotel that they will be staying in for their belated four-year-anniversary..." lando backs up, trailing off of his sentence as no one notices the breath of relief that max breathes out

"...wait, so you think he's gonna propose to her at a hotel, lando?" oscar questions in confusion

however, that was when you walked in and let's just say you were beyond confused. 

"umm, who is going to propose to me where?" you blurted out as everyone's eyes widened

and no one spoke up. that was, until carlos did and let's just say, he truly saved the day here, "oh, no one tesoro darling. we're just talking about the time i jokingly proposed to rebecca with a gummy lolly ring in a hotel a couple of months ago..." he trailed off and everyone just hoped you believed it

and...you did. you didn't even question it and you should have cause you basically knew everything about your boyfriend's teammates, carlos especially. so, it confused the rest of the grid and wags when you didn't question it. 

"...oh, okay, cool. sorry, my bad. well, umm, if anyone's interested, charles has bought all of us some coffee and smoothies so, we'll be waiting for you guys in the ferrari garage with it when you are ready!" you smiled as you left the mclaren garage to charles who waited in the ferrari garage

as soon as everyone knew you were out of sight and out of hearing range, they all let out the heavy breaths that they had no idea they were holding on to. 

"holy...lord jesus christ, how on earth did she believe that lie, carlos?!" lando burst out as giggles followed as did head shakes of shock and wide eyes 

"ay, i truly have no idea but, good save for sure!" carlos chuckled as everyone shortly followed after him as he left for his morning smoothie that was waiting for him in the ferrari garage that for once, he didn't pay for or had to make himself 

"yeah, well done you, carlos! i seriously thought she wouldn't believe it but it shocked me more that she didn't question you," max chuckled in bewilderment as carlos patted his friend and rivals shoulder 

afterwards, the grid and wags realise that, whilst lando did "hack" into the hotel that you and charles were booked into for that night and the following weekend, that it wasn't because he was proposing to you. it was genuinely because you guys didn't actually get to fully celebrate your four-year-anniversary that was the third time that they thought a proposal was happening. so, instead, you guys were going to celebrate it on that friday and saturday instead. 

five

it's this day, the fifth time that the grid and wags thinks a proposal is gonna happen that it's max that teases the group. sending the grid back at the paddock doing more media interviews his location that he was in with charles. 

"you guys will never guess where i am!" max sniggers cheekily which earns some confusion from the grid and wags who were basically bored out of their minds 

with so much waiting around to do before filming some interviews and videos for their social medias, lando almost groaned at his friend, "oh, i don't know, max. are you by any chance planning a new strategy to win the next gp?" he replies which earns a laugh from max but also from the rest of the grid, including y.n, although it's obvious she wasn't paying attention

only laughing because everyone else was, max knew it was the perfect time to tell the rest of the grid and wags, "i'm at the jeweller with charles, and it's a fancy one," he smiles over the phone

"gold thanks, babe, silver makes me look discoloured," kelly jokes, shockingly not realising the situation after she started to also, like her boyfriend, pull away from the bets of wanting charles and y.n to get engaged 

"good to know miss piquet, my love, but, i'm here with charles. because ages ago, when you guys thought for a third time that he was proposing to y.n, he asked me for help in my opinion on a certain piece he was looking to buy..."

that was when it clicks in kelly's and lando's heads, lando slipping out of the chair, "...wait, is this finally the day that it happens?" he just about whispers with his eyes wide and his hands already starting to perisperate

"i seriously think so guys. well, charles' walking back over and i can tell that y.n's attention is turning back to you guys so, i'll talk to you all later," max hangs up and focuses back on charles

seeing that max was about to uncharacteristically freak out, charles spoke up, "and, yes, it's the time to do it max. it's why i asked you back those few weeks ago when everyone thought it was gonna do it for the third time i think *chuckles*..." charles trails off as max's eyes nearly fall out of his sockets 

he nearly chokes on his own red-bull smelling saliva, "wait, you weren't joking when you were asking me for advice on an engagement ring?" max whispers, realising just how honoured he suddenly felt to be given this opportunity - especially considering he and kelly weren't even engaged or married yet

"yes...i know you and kelly aren't even engaged let alone married but, i want you to help me and give me advice on an engagement ring for y.n. i was being serious that day when i came to you and asked. i know she loves emeralds because of the emerald necklace and earring set i gave her for our four-years but, i don't know if that's her style in rings too..." charles trailed off, suddenly feeling overwhelmed and stressed, grateful that he had max with him even though they should have technically been at their team meetings 

overcome with emotion and seeing charles overcome with emotion, max had to fight himself to not give the young racer a huge hug. resisting however, max takes in some deep breaths which causes charles to watch and copy so he could calm himself down as well.

"well, whilst y.n loves to wear emeralds on necklaces and earrings, do you know if she has any emerald rings? cause that's a start and if she does have emerald rings and wears them quite often then, yes, that would be the choice of engagement ring you'd buy. but, if she usually wears a different stone more than the emerald then go for that one, alright?" max advised as charles smiled and nodded his head, feeling more confident

as a smile overcomes his face, he pulls out his phone and goes straight to his photo album of you. majority of the photos you are wearing a specific ring with a specific stone. and whilst the stone wasn't an emerald, it was a green sapphire ring that you got given by your mother that you always wore on your ring finger. you would wear it until the day you would then change it for the real life green sapphire engagement ring you'd get when you'd eventually get proposed to. 

looking at max's pride-filled face of how, just like figuring out the racetrack, charles quickly figured out the type of engagement ring you wanted. and how it was the exact same as the one you had been wearing ever since your mom had given it to you. except, whilst it would be similar, it would be different because charles made sure that whilst the stone was sapphire, he still made sure that there was an obvious engagement ring bling on the ring. just so it was obvious that it was an engagement ring. and not just a replacement for the one you already had because, that sapphire ring hadn't broke. it was just being replaced for the real deal. 

and, of course, charles didn't really need max's opinion on the actual ring itself, he just needed the help in figuring out what stone and whether it was emerald or sapphire. so, when max helped him in figuring it out by asking him if there was a specific stone that you wore more often then the other, that was when it clicked in his head on the stone of choice. 

"max...thank you for coming with me and helping me. i'm glad you were able to come with me even though we're supposed to be doing interviews and content," charles thanked the red bull driver, pure sincereity seeping from not just his words but his body language 

and max smiled, "my pleasure charles and, don't be thanking me. it was an honour to help you find the right one for y.n," max replies, not stopping himself from hugging the ferrari racer this time. making the brunette sincerely chuckle, he welcomed the hug wonderfully 

feeling pride and like an older brother to the slightly younger driver (they grew up doing karting and then obviously, f1 together), max couldn't help the urge of a sudden flood of tears that had started to well up in his eyes as the two racers reached the car. 

the one

"...hey guys, what are you all doing on the 30th of june?" charles asks, completely out of nowhere since it was another meaningless day in the paddock

"that's like, nine months away, you really think i plan that far in advance, charles?" kelly questions, nevertheless, checking her calender in her phone at the same time, her concentration from max fleeting for just a second

"to be fair, i was not expecting that reaction," you smiled devishly, clearly hiding something, smiling at charles, "let's go once more and if they don't get this, i think i'm just gonna throw it at them. kelly, rebecca, lily, kika and heidi, would you like to be my bridesmaids?" 

just when you thought you were going to have the throw the ring at them, a delayed and very loud gasp falls through the room as everyone turns to stone. it's lily that is the first one to regain her composure, "wait, what are you saying?" 

with a joking roll of your eyes, you hold up your left hand and wriggle your fingers...oh and the new, upgraded sapphire engagement ring, "aren't you gonna ask where i got the new upgraded sapphire ring from?" you pretty much cackle like an evil witch, surprisingly enjoying the reactions

max then stands up, since it was clear not even word champion max had anything to do and pushed his chair away, "you actually did it?" he was soft in his question to charles 

"i did it," the brunette nods, his smile wider than ever before if possible

"you've broken the grid, charles," kelly chuckles, looking all around her to see everyone still frozen in their tracks on the floor or their seats 

however, not for long as lily, kelly, kika, rebecca and heidi jump out of their seats and rush over to you, "why didn't you tell us the second you asked her, charles?! of course...of course i'm free that day and even if i'm not i'll make myself be free! and excuse me, how dare you ask me to be your bridesmaid with the insinuation that i'd say no, I'D LOVE to be your bridesmaid!" 

nearly toppling over you, lily smashes into you for a hug as you couldn't help the laugh that erupts from your throat. after lily's over the top reaction, the grid and max stood up out of their own seats or off the floor and also crowded around you and charles. of course then came all the congratulatory hugs and face squishes and wanting to take a closer look at the upgraded sapphire engagement ring. 

and, obviously, the next day during the actual race and then actually the next couple of weeks, the wags and the grid starts to bring in little cakes and muffins and things to keep the celebrations of the new formula 1 engagement up and continuing. because, now that the engagement had happened, that meant it was now time to plan the wedding. but, you and charles didn't care, you just loved that after waiting for so long, the grid and wags that is, they finally got their moment to celebrate their two little f1 babies get engaged because not only were you even more in love with your now fiancé but you just felt like you were being attacked with love at every angle and you loved it and you embraced it. 

oh, and remember that bet that was going around? yeah, it was actually max that won all of them so, he got all of the money. shockingly, he managed to correctly predict the exact date of the proposal without even being given the date from charles. because, even though max helped charles in figuring out the ring was a sapphire and not an emerald, that didn't mean he asked nor was given any other information about the day of the proposal. only that the ring was a sapphire so, it was pretty funny and a shock to the system that max predicted the exact date without knowing it. and he didn't get the day before or the day after, he got the exact date on the dot. for a while, certain people on the grid and wags were a bit suspicious (danny, heidi and lando) but a couple of days later and they just found it amusing and amazing that max was such an amazing predicter as well as formula 1 driver. to the point that he was then asked to predict the day that the bachelorette party was going to be on. but, that was obviously when max drew the line as everyone was needed for whatever it was that they were even needing at the paddock on the day before a race after they had done everything they needed to do. because, f1 and grand prix's unfortunately doesn't stop just because an f1 driver and his girlfriend get engaged. 

fin

this was so much fun to rewrite and reformat into an f1 version and i think i'll be doing a lot more of these 5 + 1 formats a lot because i really enjoy this format and writing these. 

[mysticstronomy]

IS THERE WATER FLOATING IN SPACE??

Blog#420

Saturday, July 20th, 2024.

Welcome back,

Two teams of astronomers have discovered the largest and farthest reservoir of water ever detected in the universe.

The body of water is notably significantly larger than all of the water on planet Earth. And according to the scientists, it is the equivalent to 140 trillion times all the water in the world's ocean.

There is little chance you would spot it looking through your own telescope however, as the body of water surrounds a huge feeding black hole called a quasar, which is more than 12 billion years away.

Pretty mind-bending, right?

The observations made by the scientists have revealed a time where the universe was just 1.6 billion years old.

Matt Bradford, a scientist at NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Pasadena, California, spoke of the discovery and said it showed that water can be found throughout the universe.

"The environment around this quasar is unique in that it's producing this huge mass of water,” he said. "It's another demonstration that water is pervasive throughout the universe, even at the very earliest times."

Quasars are considered massive celestial objects and emit large amounts of energy. Gas and dust falling into a supermassive black hole, that are at the centre, emit electromagnetic radiation across the entire electromagnetic spectrum.

Both groups of astronomers studied a particular quasar called APM 08279+5255, which harbors a black hole 20 billion times more massive than the sun and produces as much energy as a thousand trillion suns. So a fair bit.

Bradford’s team was able to get more information about the water, most notably its incredible mass as they detected several spectral signatures of the water.

Prior to this discovery, astronomers had never found water vapor present this far back in the early universe. There is water elsewhere in the Milkyway - however, most of it is frozen in ice.

Astronomers are hoping to learn more about the distant universe and those in the study proposed a 25-meter telescope to be built in the Atacama Desert in Chile.

In 2020, the telescope’s name was changed from Cerro Chajnantor Atacama Telescope (CCAT) to Fred Young Submillimeter Telescope (FYST) after Cornell alumnus Fred Young supported the telescope for about 2 decades with 16 million dollars.

Originally published on https://www.unilad.com

COMING UP!!

(Wednesday, July 24th, 2024)

"HOW LONG CAN A HUMAN FLOAT IN SPACE??"

[stevesbipanic]

@steddielovemonth Day 19: Love is the comfort of quiet moments @tboygareth

High school had been a simple schedule for Steve. Tuesday nights were games, Sundays were swimming meets. Thursday nights were training, Friday's were for parties. Steve didn't bother much with homework, too many words, he managed to always get his maths done though. Once he had his licence his routine was seamless.

That was, of course, until November 1983.

In all fairness, his week became less chaotic. He had to quit the swim team, doctor's orders, practically begged to stay on the basketball team. Less parties, too many bad memories. But he could stay steady, he could keep his head above water picking Nancy up from school, date nights on Saturday.

That was, of course, until October 1984.

His schedule really changed after that. Still had basketball, barely, but Billy made it almost unbearable. No more parties, no more date nights. Now, he had the arcade on Sundays, DnD nights Wednesdays and dinner at the Hendersons every Friday. It was good, a warmer routine, Steve felt whole with every pick up and hug goodbye. Soon it would Scoops every Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday.

That was, of course, until July 1985.

No more basketball, unless you counted Thursdays at the court with Lucas. Sorry ladies of Hawkins Saturday nights were for cuddling with Robin and watching weird movies. He practically lived at the Hendersons now, but always made time for Friday dinners with them. Arcade days and quarry days and now the kids were headed to school so Wednesdays were pick ups from that club they wouldn't stop mentioning, he thinks that guy Eddie runs it. Any free time he has was for work, saving up for an apartment once Robin graduated, wherever she was going next he'd follow.

That was, of course, until March 1986.

There wasn't time for normal routines in the events following the fall of Vecna. A town split apart needed volunteers. Anytime Steve had spare he gave to helping and every night he wasn't dragged home by Robin or Claudia he sat vigil by Eddie or Max depending on if Wayne had work. He felt adrift in these months, not knowing what would happen next.

That was, of course, until May 1986.

The day Eddie was released from hospital was the first step towards normal Steve had felt in months. He got into a new routine of dropping him and Max off for appointments, working at the barely open Family Video with Robin, making sure the kids and teens got to school, they were all going to be at Eddie's (and Nancy and Robin's) graduation soon. By the summertime Steve's routine included sharing a bed every night and kisses goodbye before work.

Steve loves his routine, but when his week was suddenly filled with graduation, then a party, and work, and the kids and Claudia's dinner and movie night, he felt stretched thin. It didn't help that today was Eddie's birthday and they'd all gathered at the Hopper-Byers for a barbecue. The kids were splashing loudly in the above ground pool Hopper had built, the adults chattering away, music blaring. He could barely hear Eddie and he was talking right next to him. Everything was just too loud, too bright, he was just too tired, too drained.

"Stevie?"

Eddie had stopped talking and was looking at him with that face he got when he was reading Steve like a book. Whatever he was looking for he found, giving Steve a quick kiss on the cheek and promising to be right back.

Steve just stood there, he doesn't know how long but it felt like no time passed before Eddie's fingers were intertwined with his and pulling him towards the van out front. Steve barely registered the drive and soon enough found himself in his sweats, laying beside Eddie in their bed at the trailer. The world was quiet at last.

The two of them laid in silence, Steve closing his eyes and enjoying the sound of just them breathing, sometimes Eddie would trail a finger up his back but mostly they just laid there, existing.

"Thank you," Steve whispered eventually.

"You just needed someone to give you a break for a minute, love, I know that."

"Didn't ruin your birthday?"

"Would rather spend my birthday with just you than all the people in the world."

This was Steve's favourite part of his routine, him and Eddie, wherever they were, together.

[geotjwrs]

Hi mate. Can you please do a Jenna Ortega x Male Reader

Both of them have always had a enemies relationship since they were little kids, they always competed against each other. But couple of years later when they both are 21, they get casted together in the Wednesday show and Emma and Georgie see that they won’t get along so they trap them into a room for the whole day making both of them resolve and admit that they love each other. And you can finish the story with a couple years in the future where they get married. You can pick 🫡

behind our shadows

Pairings ; Jenna Ortega x Male!Reader

Warning/s ; none

From the moment Y/N and Jenna met in elementary school, they were rivals. Whether it was competing for the top spot in spelling bees, racing each other during recess, or even vying for the best grades, the two seemed destined to clash. Their competitive streaks continued through middle school and high school, where they joined opposing teams in every club or activity they were a part of.

Now, at 21, Y/N and Jenna were both rising stars in the acting world. Their paths crossed once again when they were cast together in the highly anticipated "Wednesday" show, with Jenna reprising her role as Wednesday Addams and Y/N playing a new character introduced to shake things up.

The first few days on set were rough. Jenna and Y/N's old rivalry resurfaced quickly, creating an awkward atmosphere for everyone around them. Emma and Georgie, who played Enid and Ajax respectively, could sense the tension and knew something had to be done.

"Those two are impossible," Emma whispered to Georgie during a break. "They're going to ruin the show with their constant bickering."

Georgie nodded. "We need to do something to make them see eye to eye. But what?"

Emma's eyes sparkled with mischief. "I have an idea. But it's a little drastic."

The next day, during lunch, Emma and Georgie lured Jenna and Y/N into one of the unused rooms on set under the pretense of a meeting. As soon as they were inside, Emma and Georgie shut the door and locked it from the outside.

"Hey! What are you doing?" Jenna banged on the door.

"Yeah, let us out!" Y/N added, equally frustrated.

Emma's voice came through the door. "Not until you two sort out whatever is going on between you. We're not letting you out until you can at least be civil."

Georgie chimed in, "We have plenty of snacks and drinks out here, so take your time!"

At first, Jenna and Y/N sat in silence, glaring at each other. Minutes felt like hours as the tension grew.

"This is ridiculous," Jenna finally said, crossing her arms. "Why do we always end up like this?"

Y/N sighed. "Because you're always trying to one-up me. Ever since we were kids."

"Me? You're the one who always has to be the best at everything," Jenna retorted.

"You're just mad because I actually am the best," Y/N shot back, smirking.

"Oh, please," Jenna rolled her eyes. "You wouldn't know best if it hit you in the face."

"Is that so? At least I don't have to resort to dirty tricks to get ahead," Y/N snapped.

Jenna glared at him. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"You know exactly what I mean," Y/N replied, leaning forward. "Remember the science fair in eighth grade?"

"You mean the one I won fair and square?" Jenna crossed her arms defensively.

"Fair and square? You sabotaged my project!" Y/N exclaimed.

Jenna gasped. "I did not! You're just mad because you couldn't handle a little competition."

Y/N shook his head. "You've always been impossible."

"And you've always been infuriating," Jenna retorted.

As they continued to argue, rehashing old grievances and misunderstandings from their childhood, they started to realize how much they had in common.

"Remember the time we both got detention for fighting over who got to lead the science project?" Y/N chuckled, breaking the ice a bit.

Jenna smiled for the first time. "Yeah, we were so stubborn. I think the teacher just gave up on us."

Slowly, the conversation shifted from arguments to shared memories and laughter. They talked about their dreams, their struggles, and how much they had changed over the years.

"I never hated you, you know," Jenna admitted quietly. "I just... always felt like I had to prove myself to you."

Y/N looked at her, surprised. "I felt the same way. I guess we were more alike than we thought."

As the hours passed, something changed between them. The rivalry melted away, replaced by a deep understanding and connection. Jenna looked at Y/N, her heart pounding.

"I think... I think I might actually like you," she confessed.

Y/N's eyes widened. "You know, I've been feeling the same way. I guess we were too busy competing to see what was right in front of us."

They sat in silence for a moment, letting the weight of their words sink in. Then, slowly, Y/N reached out and took Jenna's hand.

Emma and Georgie finally opened the door, peeking inside to see the two sitting close together, holding hands and talking softly.

"Looks like our plan worked," Emma whispered to Georgie.

Over the next few months, Jenna and Y/N's relationship blossomed. They worked together seamlessly on set, their chemistry undeniable. The cast and crew noticed the change, and the show's production ran smoother than ever.

Two years later, Jenna and Y/N stood in front of their family and friends, exchanging vows. The rivalry that had defined their childhood was now a distant memory, replaced by a deep, abiding love.

"I can't believe we started as enemies," Y/N said, smiling at Jenna as he slipped a ring onto her finger.

Jenna grinned back. "It's funny how life works out. I wouldn't change a thing."

As they shared their first kiss as a married couple, the crowd erupted into cheers. Emma and Georgie, standing off to the side, high-fived each other.

"We did good," Emma said, beaming.

"Yeah, we did," Georgie agreed.

Years passed, and Jenna and Y/N's love only grew stronger. They continued to work in the entertainment industry, often collaborating on projects and supporting each other's careers. They built a life filled with love, laughter, and the occasional playful competition, just to keep things interesting.

Their journey from rivals to lovers was an unexpected one, but it proved that sometimes, the person you least expect can turn out to be the love of your life.

As they sat together on their porch, looking out at the sunset, Jenna leaned her head on Y/N's shoulder.

"Do you ever miss those days when we were constantly trying to outdo each other?" she asked with a smile.

Y/N chuckled. "Not really. I like this version of us much better."

Jenna nodded in agreement. "Me too."

And with that, they watched the sun dip below the horizon, content in the knowledge that they had found their way to each other, despite all the odds.