#would totally blow up the chantry with him

[teine-mallaichte]

I am seeing a lot of takes about Anders today… a lot of people hypothesising as to if he would have done what he did had people been better friends to him, had people listened, had people let him know they cared… and in some cases had people just not gaslighted him, because seriously in some playthroughs is it totally possible to gaslight him…

So I thought I would add my thoughts to the discussion…

I may have a slightly biased view… and I may be projecting slighty... because when DA2 came out I had been experiencing psychosis and mania on and off for 5 years, and had only been out of hospital a few weeks. I vividly remember watching Anders deteriorate throughout the game, watching how people brushed off what he said, how he withdrew, how he hid behind a façade… and I really felt for him.

Now, supposedly Anders was written to be bipolar. I am not going to get into that here because some of the incidences when this has been mentioned by the writers were… well not worded well at best, and at worst ableist… but anyway, as a person with schizoaffective disorder maybe I related to him a bit, I even sort of have my own version of Justice as I have a practically constant auditory hallucination called Nigel who loves to pass judgment on things that I, and those around me, do.

Anyway, I am getting off topic…

The thing is I kind of feel like the chantry explosion had to happen. I have been involved in advocacy work and campaigning, and honestly change is hard, getting people to listen is hard… even harder when people view you are a unreliable narrator or see you as “paranoid”, “dramatic”, etc.  And in Thedas no one was going to listen, we saw that over the YEARS that Anders tried literally everything to create even a small amount of change – nothing worked, no one cared.

Would his friends actually listening and supporting him change this? Probably not… at best perhaps it would have delayed the inevitable, or led to a slightly more thought out plan.

However… that dosen’t mean that Anders did not deserve better! The guy was falling apart in front of our eyes. He deserved at the very least to be listened to. He spent years looking out for everyone but himself, neglecting himself in favour of others, putting himself in potential danger just to save one more mage, that situation would break anyone eventually.

So no… maybe people listening and supporting him would not have prevented him blowing up the chantry, love could not save him.

but maybe that is also not the point.

and I repeat there is a high chance I am both biased and projecting 😂

[niofo]

i love all the ideas of canon characters being the inquisitor, it's especially fun in context of bg3 origin characters runs, but here are my fav options:

inquisitor anders, just for the sole fact of how mad the chantry would be at this idea. like they would be so mad. but also it has a potential to end with preemptive execution, bcos while with canon pc there can be a reasonable benefit of a doubt that they blow up the temple, now you have The Guy Known For Blowing Up Churches, who is just accused of Blowing Up Churches, i don't think cassandra would wait long enough to ask any questions. tho maybe anders is in disguise on the beginning and it's revealed who he is only later, that would be cool.

inquisitor merrill, bcos not only she's dalish, but also a blood mage, imagine the scandal. also she'd take no herald of andraste bullshit, if anything she'd say it was mythal who saved her, but most likely she'd suspect it was a spirit. she knows spirits, i don't think she'd consider it to be too outlandish theory. but also i'd love for her to call out all the dalish-related bs dai is trying to sneak in.

inquisitor zevran and he absolutely sneaked illegally into the temple just to spy. i can imagine him being a bit upset too, when everyone starts talking about inquisitor arainai, bcos now his brilliant new plan about convincing the crows that he's totally, absolutely dead, fr this time, kinda goes to shit bcos of this. also i'd love to see him teaming up with leliana again.

all of this would be even wilder if they were exported from a worldstate where they were actually romanced by hawke/warden. most of my pcs would be actually really supportive of their li having a recognition on their own, but at the same time would be very suspicious of chantry's intentions, esp when it comes to anders and merrill.

[hiddenbeks]

alone, desire & failure for the oc u really want to talk abt :3

not-so-nice oc asks

ooh well since we're touching on the topic of failure i gotta talk abt ultimate failgirl fereldan turnip champion of kirkwall hottest apostate in town aka frida! also she's my only dragon age gal whose tag is still empty and this is a great opportunity to change that

alone: how does your oc deal with loneliness? have they ever been completely alone before? how do they act when there's no one around to see them?

frida deals with loneliness by seeking company! she's used to always having at least a few people around and she would prefer not to be alone with her own thoughts so. she'll hit up her friends and/or go to the hanged man for a fun evening to avoid this :) if there's no one around to see her it means her energy is totally depleted and that's when she's at her. rawest and most bare? she might cry for an hour in total solitude or just lie in bed staring at nothing or do something else she'd never let anyone else witness. she is so used to putting up a strong and fun and unshakeable front for others!! alone time is for letting all her emotions out unfiltered oof

desire: what's one thing your oc wants more than anything in the world? are they open with that desire? why or why not? what would they do to fulfill it?

she's a simple gal. she just wants to live her life freely and be happy and make sure her loved ones are happy...

...until she arrives in kirkwall and gets to know the kirkwall crew and starts hanging out and discussing mage freedom with anders and merrill and learns about the conditions in the gallows... as years go by she starts desiring. bigger things. it's not enough that she and her friends are free - she wants total liberation and while she doesn't go around the gallows yelling 'fuck meredith' she doesn't hide her views either. after becoming the champion she becomes much more open about this because what are they gonna do? arrest the beloved savior of kirkwall lol?? and if it takes blowing up a chantry and starting a revolt to achieve total liberation then so be it.

she's not actually involved in the blowing up of the chantry tho (beyond distracting elthina as you do in-game) bc anders keeps her in the dark but. at that point she would've helped if he'd asked. in fact she would've done it in his stead because just as anders says 'i didn't want it to be connected to you' or something along those lines frida would also have wanted to shield her friend at the cost of her own safety. because that's what she does. she needs therapy.

failure: what's your oc's greatest failure? have they been able to move past it? does anyone else know about it?

ok so when i call her failgirl i don't mean it in a 'fails at everything she does' way. she succeeds in many things! but all her achievements in kirkwall are overshadowed by her losses that she sees as failures on her part. most people don't see it that way because they don't know about her personal life, they just know she saved kirkwall! she fights for the mages! she's a hero of the common people whoo!! the companions of course know about most of her losses as they're right there to witness them and even if she doesn't open up about her troubles they Know she is tormented

but anyway uh. her greatest failure is basically not being able to do what she set out to do in the first place which was protecting her family! bethany dies when they're fleeing ferelden (she shouldn't have let her run off like that!), carver catches the taint and frida dooms him to a slow death as a grey warden (she should've told him to stay in the city!!) and then leandra is killed (she should've been more alert!!!). she blames aveline as well for the last one though. as is her right because holy shit aveline you're bad at your job! also frida is getting tired of internalizing it all so she starts taking her anger and exhaustion and disappointment out on others. mainly aveline. they have a weird can't-stand-her-ass-but-i-need-someone-to-fight-with kind of relationship. idk.

she also believes she failed as a big sister to carver by not bonding with him as much as she did with bethany when they were younger and like. she still struggles to understand him... see things from his point of view... they never get to have a true heart to heart about their Issues before she sends carver away to join the wardens and after that they barely see each other anymore and hhhhh

at first it feels like she'll never be able to move past her failures. she simply distracts herself from all the sorrow by keeping busy but as years go by she eventually... grows around it... there are still people to care about and causes to fight for and she is still needed and wanted and she slowly realizes that she needs to move on? and stay in the present and work for a better future. i'm starting to sound so sappy lmao but my point is!!!! she will eventually make peace with it all. even though it takes a long time. (she gets to have a heart to heart with carver too because i love these two and want healing for them!!)

[anderswasrightt]

I am so curious about the “Anders was right” header. What was he right about and was it really him?

I think by the end of DA2, Anders and Justice were one and the same, but I still thought of him as Anders, just with the added vengeance in him.

I think if he or someone else hadn't done something drastic (ie blow up the chantry) nothing would have changed and the mages would have continued to be abused.

I have issues with the portrayal of the free mages in DA:I (honestly not a fan of DA:I tbh), but I do think Anders' actions were justified. Nothing was going to happen without a revolutionary act. I'd rather have a bunch of rogue mages running around in DA:I than being tortured in the Circles. Like I totally understand the "enemy" mages' reactions in DA:I. I'd be suspicious and defensive too if I thought the Inquisition was coming to take me back to the Circle.

[tanadrin]

god, anders and anybody who’s an apologist for him is an idiot. he should have blown up meredith, not a highly sympathetic civilian who was uninvolved in the conflict. it was a completely vicious act of political terrorism, and the fact he expresses a degree of regret after is totally out of character for someone so ideologically driven that they thought doing such a thing was a good idea in the first place. just very odd writing overall.

elthina sucks, although not in a way that makes blowing her up a rational decision. the whole “oooh, that chantry can’t take sides” is bullshit when the templar are an arm of the chantry (and nominally the circles, too). it’s the definition of chantry business, and letting civil unrest simmer bc you don’t want to be unpopular is shitty leadership.

meredith is obviously an asshole--massacring an uninvolved faction because a third party committed an act of terrorism is moronic also. basically everybody involved in the kirkwall conflict is 1) an asshole, 2) an idiot from a political standpoint (except maybe anders, since he *did* get what he wanted out of it), and 3) also kind of awkwardly written.

this includes hawke! obviously if you’re the champion of kirkwall and the second most powerful person in the city, you don’t let a power vacuum fester for three years. personally, i would send out feelers to the nobility and work on creating a second center of power; i would use my mine money and go in with my buddies on bolstering the strength of the city guard whose captain i am extremely good friends with, and then force the question of either appointing a new viscount (especially with the help of ferelden’s obviously sympathetic king!), or implementing an alternative power structure like the city council that the bureaucracy and the guard can report to.

then even if meredith does try a coup, there’s a leader with some alternate legitimacy in place, and you have the means to resist her by force of arms. yes, the templar are in theory backed up by the chantry as a whole, but the chantry leading coups in independent states is going to make other rulers very squirrely about letting the templar operate in their territory, so i think they will be reluctant to support meredith and her would-be dictatorship. plus, then i could call on the mages for support!

oh and obviously i assassinate sebastian and make friendly overtures with the other cities of the free marches. this is only mostly bc sebastian is annoying and judgemental. but also bc he’s a dogmatism who will literally invade kirkwall in DA:I if he doesn’t like the outcome of DA2. so fuck that guy!

anyway, it’s really frustrating that there’s nobody with political savvy in kirkwall. the city badly needs a vetinari. but you don’t need to be a vetinari to prevent the end of act 3 nonsense, you just need to be mildly competent as a public figure. and i wish the game would let you try!

[dark-stars]

Anders is a baby and I keep seeing people bullying him,,,leave the child alone he’s doing his best even tho he did blow up the chantry and kill a bunch of people doing so...(totally would have helped him)

M!Mage!Hawke x Anders is absolutely adorable and you can’t convince me otherwise

(not my art)

[wolffyluna]

Ooh, for Dragon Age fandom? :D

The first character I first fell in love with: Define “fall in love with”. “Anders seems cool” is what got me to try out Dragon Age, but Zevran was the first character who made me go “I must hug him and feed his soup.”

The character I never expected to love as much as I do now: Hmm. There aren’t many characters who I didn’t expect to like?

...the best example is probably the fact that while I am not the biggest fan of Cullen, I do have to admit that Inquisition endeared me to him, a little. But then I remember DA2 and then I get a little less endeared.

The character everyone else loves that I don’t: I have an embarrassing confession to make. In Dragon Age 2, I didn’t use Isabela in my party that much, which meant I didn’t have very high friendship, which meant that in Act II... 

So, like, I do like her? But it is on a much more intellectual level than say, with Aveline, who I spent more time with, so have a stronger emotional bond too.

The character I love that everyone else hates: Merrill! did! nothing! wrong! And also as far as I can tell made reasonably good choices with the information she had. (Also, I don’t know if Warhammer 40k logic applies to the demons in Dragon Age, but if it does, then there’s a good chance the Keeper was just as affected by Audacity. And also, I do not buy into the evil demon good spirits split, and most importantly Merrill doesn’t, and most of her actions make total sense from that perspective.)

The character I used to love but don’t any longer: Anders is great. But the way he polarises fandom, so that either he eats kittens for breakfast because he hates joy, or that there were no downsides to blowing up the Chantry at all and if you think it might not have been the best idea you hate kittens and joy yourself... is exhausting.

The character I would totally smooch: Zevran. On the one hand, yes, he could kill me. On the other, he probably has no reason to, and he’s probably a good kisser and down for it.

The character I’d want to be like: ...I’m trying to think of a character who’s life is not a complete trashfire in some aspect or another. ...Wynne? The trashfireness of her life is mostly not her fault.

The character I’d slap: Slapping Meredith may not achieve much, but man would it be satisfying.

A pairing that I love: Don’t make me chose QQ. But if I am allowed to pick one from each game:

Zevran/Warden

Merrill/Hawke

Cassandra/Inquisitor

A pairing that I despise: ...most ships involving Oghren. He is just uninterestingly slimy.

[tyrantlavellan]

A little Drabble I made for @lindsmorr because I owe her a lot. We miss our disaster sons.

(I know I promised no plot, but I had to think of somethingggggggg 🥺)

The bustling of the infamous Orlais market filled the air. Merchants crowded around the Inquisition company just for a glimpse of the Inquisitor.

Mahanon ignored them, waving his hand to his bodyguards. Inquisition soldiers shoved the crowd aside. He heard Taavi scoff as they made their way through the city, vast buildings with rich architecture and lavish gardens stretched out on either side of them. But Mahanon didn’t pay any attention. His mind was elsewhere.

Divine Victoria was trying everything in her power to lessen his grasp. Trying to change the ways of the Chantry was not going well for her, and with most of her own followers squabbling like over privileged children, she was not getting the support she needed. Her first few months as Divine was not going well. She wished to do what she believed was right, a noble deed Mahanon had to admit.

One that he was inclined to prevent from happening.

What she didn’t know was that he was the reason she was elected the new Divine in the first place. She would have lost her nomination to Leliana, had Mahanon not intervened. He gave himself a pat on the back for that one. The Chantry would have been a chaotic mess if Leliana was chosen.

He encouraged Cassandra to reinstate the Seekers to ensure the circle remained intact and well guarded. He definitely wasn’t taking any chances with the mages. He had seen the catastrophic damage they were capable of too many times.

The Divine might have successfully stripped him of his influence, were it not for the support of the Emperor, forever indebted to Mahanon for replacing Celene, and the majority of the noble houses supporting his title as Herald of Andraste. Mahanon smiled smugly to himself.

“This place reeks of dirty money, selling stuff that is not even worth half their price,” Taavi interrupted. A disgusted look wrinkled his face. “It’s like they dip their shit in gold and call it a fashion statement.”

Mahanon chuckled.

“This is Orlais, anything can be fashion if you’re rich enough, and have a lot of influence.”

“Whole place is a nightmare…” Taavi said, narrowly avoiding a group of chevaliers standing in the middle of the street. “The size of their egos definitely makes up for their lack of size down -”

Trumpets blasted cutting him off.

They made their way into the courtyard of the Chantry, where Divine Victoria awaited them atop a giant flight of stairs. Her rigid expression could make anyone tremble, but Mahanon knew better.

A crowd of Orlesians had amassed behind them and they cheered, singing chantry songs and praising the Herald of Andraste. Mahanon couldn’t help but smirk.

“Stop doing that,” Taavi smacked him.

“Ow! What was that for?” Mahanon shoved him back.

“You look like an idiot, smiling and waving to the crowd like you're some sort of idol.”

“In case you forgot, I did save the world from certain doom. And this is how they like to thank me,” Mahanon said, waving back at the crowd again.

“Oh that’s right. My bad, your highness,” Taavi mocked.

“Well now it’s sounds cringe when you say it,”

“Why did they have to build so many steps? And why is she so cross looking? What did you do to make her upset, we just got here,” Taavi grabbed onto Mahanon’s arm instinctively as they walked past the Seekers. He eyed them suspiciously.

“She is still upset about that whole Empris du Lion situation. Apparently the Chantry doesn’t condone blowing up Chevalier estates, despite blood mage cultists squatting inside,”

“That doesn’t seem very - ”

“I also may have slept with her a bunch and maybe kind of lied about a lot of things to convince her to become the Divine,” Mahanon said quietly, biting his lip.

“Oh, so now that makes more sense. Wait you slept with the Div - ”

“Welcome Inquisitor!” A clergyman yelled so the crowd could hear. “Our beloved Herald of Andraste has descended from his throne to grace us with his presence, may the Maker bless him always and continue to shine his light on all his children!”

The crowd cheered loudly. Mahanon waved, avoiding Taavi’s intensely disapproving gaze.

“Again with the waving, you look like a fool.”

“Why can’t you just have fun with me and let these peasants worship me,” Mahanon said, now blowing kisses to the courtiers.

“You are insufferable.” Taavi sneered under his breath.

“Enough with the attention seeking,” the Divine suddenly cut in, standing right beside them, arms crossed, still unimpressed. “Inside. Now.” She snapped, swiftly walking inside the giant looming doors of the cathedral.

“She seems nice,” said Taavi.

“Just let me do the talking,” Mahanon whispered back. “You just keep your eyes out for anything suspicious.”

Taavi rolled his eyes, but followed Mahanon inside the lavish building.

The Chantry spared no expense in their decorations. Images of Andraste, the Maker, and any other revered patron were scattered on every surface possible. Even the door handles had depictions of Andraste and her followers. The clergyman and the chantry sisters walked around, muttering chants and bowing as they passed.

Mahanon tried not to laugh at Taavi’s horrified expression.

“If I hear someone call me ‘your grace’ one more time…” Taavi hissed.

They entered the Divine’s council chamber. Every seemingly important person in Orlais was already waiting for them.

Josephine had arrived days before them, in an attempt to smooth things over with the council beforehand. She glared at them as they walked in.

“Sorry I’m late,” Mahanon called out, making sure the entirety of the room could hear. “I got lost in this giant labyrinth, so many unnecessary buildings.”

Josie stood in bewilderment as he stopped next to her.

“Inquisitor, glad you could finally make it,” she hissed through her teeth as she forced a smile.

“Glad to be here too, dear Josephine. I’m sure you entertained these people just fine. It is your job after all.” Mahanon said as he patted her head. She stiffened and took a very deep breath and muttered something in Antivan.

“I see things haven’t changed much.” Divine Victoria said, glaring in Mahanon’s direction as she took her seat.

“Hello, Cassandra,” Mahanon smiled at her. She gritted her teeth in disgust.

“She shall be addressed as Divine Victoria, Your Holiness, Most Holy, or the Holy Mother!” a Cleric snapped.

“My apologies,” Mahanon said, bowing out of mockery. “The name hasn’t really stuck so well. She wasn’t quite so ‘holy’ from what I remember.”

“You little -”

“Enough,” the Divine, raised her hand to silence them. “This is getting us nowhere.” She straightened her shoulders, making sure to appear taller, her outrageous hat towering above everyone.

“Inquisitor, despite your blatant lack of respect, we have called you here in an attempt to salvage the relationship between the Inquisition and the Chantry. There have been far too many disputes, and it is in your best interest to help us remain united.”

“I’m not quite sure I follow, Most Holy of Holiness.” He sneered, crossing his arms dramatically. “Last I looked, the Inquisition was doing very well working with the Chantry.”

“What he means to say, Your Excellence,” Josie cut in. “The Inquisition has been successful to maintain and utilize resources graciously donated by the Chantry, in the name of the Maker, of course.”

“I am aware, Ambassador.” Victoria said, nodding in her direction. “The Inquisition has been quick to dive into the Chantry vaults. But I disagree. Your Herald of Andraste has done terrible things, to both friends and enemies of the Inquisition. I cannot pretend you have the Chantry’s interests at heart when he seems to only take what he pleases.

“But what the Inquisitor fails to realize is, the title ‘Herald of Andraste’ can only go so far. Should the Chantry denounce the title of Herald, the Inquisition would not be entitled to anything regarding the Chantry.”

Mahanon snorted loudly.

“Let me see if I remember this correctly,” Mahanon said, clearing his throat. “But was it not one ‘Cassandra Pentaghast’ that insisted on defying Chantry order and encouraged the Inquisition’s inception in the first place?”

“The Chantry was leaderless,” she snapped, hands clenched into tight fists, making her knuckles white. “You cannot compare what happened then to this current situation.

“The Inquisition has done what it was meant to do, which was to stop the immediate threat of Corypheus. You have already done so. In continuing to expand the Inquisition and gain military prowess, you are going against everything that Andraste stood for.”

“So what would you consider the Templars and the Seekers, if not a military extension of the Chantry?” Mahanon argued. “The Inquisition is just more independent with how we function.”

“Not exactly true,” the Divine said coldly, challenging him. “The templars have one purpose, and that is to protect the Circle from threats both inside and out. The Seekers ensure the templars don’t fall out of line.

“The Inquisition has done neither of those things. And as of late it’s hard to say exactly what the purpose of the Inquisition is in its current state.”

Murmurs from the council members crept around the room. Mahanon could feel his face getting hot. But he still had some leverage.

“Perhaps we should ask our beloved Emperor Gaspard,” Mahanon said calmly. Gaspard squirmed in his seat as all eyes fell on him. “I’m sure he would have single handedly kept the country from being torn apart by the Civil War after Celene’s tragic death,” Mahanon eyed Gaspard. He could see the sweat dripping down his face even from where he stood.

“ And Ser Chaplain,” he continued, now staring at a retired Chevalier, one of his most generous donors. “His company would have totally been able to keep mercenaries and Venatori from overtaking his very financially successful mining operations in the Frostbacks.”

The Orlesian noble cleared his throat nervously.

“And of course,” Mahanon continued. “The general population of Thedas would definitely agree with denouncing the very force that saved them from the very demons of the Fade and the remains of the giant tear in the sky that would have ripped the world to pieces.” Mahanon stared the Divine in the eye.

“Because of course every single threat to Thedas died with Corypheus, and no city ever had to be rebuilt, no village ever faced a food shortage or threats from thieves or natural disasters.”

Nobody said a word.

“But I suppose the Inquisition doesn’t do any of those things either.” Mahanon looked across the room as the council whispered to each other.

The look on the Divine’s face was a mix of pure anger and defeat. Mahanon just smiled smugly. The council continued to whisper for several minutes.

“I feel like the council may lean in our favour,” Josie whispered.

“The Emperor and his bureaucrats owe us too much to not come to our defence.” Mahanon replied. “If the Divine thinks that her way is the only way, she’s going to be very disappointed.”

Finally the Divine raised her hand and the whispering cut off.

“We are calling a recess. We will return in an hour,” she said abruptly. Then she left the room just as quickly.

“Well then,” Josie sighed. “Time for some sightseeing?”

Mahanon turned to leave, but stopped short. Taavi was missing. He immediately became alert. He briskly walked out into the grand hallway, shoving a chantry brother out of the way. He could feel panic rising.

He opened doors, intent on searching the entire building until he heard laughing from a shadowy corner.

“You should see your face just now,” Taavi laughed as he casually walked out of his hiding spot. “Concern is such a cute look for you.”

Mahanon’s face went red. He crossed his arms as Taavi tried to pull him close.

“Whatever,” he scoffed, pushing Taavi away. “I didn’t think you’d ditch me like that.”

“I don’t consider the squabbles of the Chantry to be important, actually,” Taavi retorted. “But what I do find mildly entertaining,” he continued, slowly walking towards Mahanon with a sly look on his face. “Is you, pretending like you don’t care about me, when it’s very much obvious that you do,” Taavi lightly pushed Mahanon against the wall behind him. His towering frame kept him from going anywhere.

“Really, Taavi?” Mahanon said, looking around at the busy traffic going to and fro around the cathedral. “Right now doesn’t seem to be the best time or place for this,”

“Since when do you care about the when and where?” Taavi laughed. He gently turned Mahanon’s head to expose his neck, and kissed him softly, breathing heavily in his ear.

Mahanon felt his body get hot, and closed his eyes as Taavi gently grazed his ear with his teeth.

“I just…don’t…” Mahanon forgot what he was trying to say. “We are in a hallway….”

“You didn’t think I planned ahead? Where did you think I went off to?”

Suddenly Taavi lifted him up, wrapping Mahanon’s legs around his waist, their faces inches away from each other.

“I have you right where I wanted you,” Taavi said with a smirk as he kicked the door they were leaning against open.

He carried Mahanon into a small chapel, only furnished with a few wooden benches and a small altar table. He kicked the door shut behind them.

“Of all the rooms you could have chosen, you picked a closet?” Mahanon scoffed.

“I think it’s some sort of servants’ chapel, actually. Guess the rich don’t like mingling with commoners when it comes to chantry shit,” Taavi plopped Mahanon onto the tiny altar, knocking over Andraste paraphernalia, shattering them on the floor.

“And besides,” he continued. “Most of the servants are busy catering to all the snobby guests, don’t have time to come pray, or whatever they do in here.”

Taavi started kissing and sucking on Mahanon’s neck again, making sure to press their bodies together.

“You know,” Mahanon said quietly, now completely helpless as he could feel Taavis hands slowly unfastening his belt, lingering a bit before disappearing underneath the fabric. “They’re not going to be too pleased if I’m late again.” He bit his lip, trying to hold back a moan.

“Well I guess I better hurry then,” Taavi smirked, working his way down, throwing his own pants behind him.

Mahanon didn’t have time to object before Taavi pushed him onto his back, climbing on top of him. Taavi clasped his hand over Mahanon’s mouth, muffling the sound of him moaning in pleasure as Taavi fucked him.

Whether it was the sacrilegious nature of being absolutely pounded on top a sacred altar, or Taavi wrapping his fingers around Mahanon’s neck as his breath came out in ragged gasps, or more likely the combination of both those things, it did not take long for Taavi to make Mahanon finish.

Taavi squeezed his hand around Mahanon’s delicate neck as he trembled with pleasure, leaving a mess all over his own hands. A few more thrusts and Taavi joined him. Both now breathing heavy, they let the last of the pleasure flow through them. Eyes closed, they lay in silence, both smiling.

“You’re getting too good at that,” Mahanon chuckled, stroking Taavi’s hair.

“What can I say, I’m a natural,” Taavi replied, taking Mahanon’s hand and kissing it gently.

Mahanon sighed, looking around the tiny space. He didn’t think they’d make such a mess in their brief moment, but he laughed as Taavi fished their pants from the other side of the room.

“Better get going, before Divine Victoria decides to go searching for us herself,” Mahanon grumbled, trying to clasp his belt properly. Taavi shook his head.

“I’m getting a headache just thinking about going back to that council disaster,” Taavi rubbed his temples dramatically. “I’m gonna go outside for some fresh air.”

Mahanon just rolled his eyes.

“You’re going to miss all the fun,” he replied. “But if you insist. Perhaps we can go for round two later,” he placed a kiss on Taavis lips.

“Perhaps…” Taavi said quietly. “If you don’t take forever…”

“I’ll show you what I can do later, I just need silk, some candles, and a couple of apples”

“What are the apples for?” Taavi asked, confused.

“Guess you’ll have to find out,” Mahanon teased, pushing the door open and disappearing down the hall with a bit of a spring in his step.

[fandomn00blr]

for morrigan/alistair- e, 6, 15 ; and fenhander - 1-10, and also the rest if you want (or only the first 5 if you don't wanna do that much work, I just want to hear about themm)

I’ll start with the Fenhanders twins, Malcolm and Leand(e)ra...

1. Who do the kids enjoy playing with the most?

Definitely Anders when he joins the family,* because he lets them get away with the most. Then Fenris. Bonus if they get both of them at the same time. Hawke is...less patient when it comes to playing games with her children (“There should be rules...that make sense! And Leandera shouldn’t always just get to declare herself the winner!”), but Malcolm is very content just to be in the same room as her, playing or reading or practicing his magic.

2. Who gets carried away with the baby proofing?

Fenris. Anders frets over silly things like “what if the roof caves in or we run out of elfroot?” (they have soooo much elfroot), but Fenris gets out the power tools and installs the baby gates and the childproof locks and the bumpers on the coffee tables and makes sure all the furniture is attached to the walls (these are all things we never did for Spawn...because I am Hawke, who thinks babyproofing is some kind of birth control).

3. Who does the baby follow around more?

Leandera definitely follows Fenris around more, though she has always been rather independent (and gets in trouble for going off and doing things on her own that she isn’t supposed to…). Malcolm is like Hawke’s shadow (he spent the entire first year of his life strapped to her).

4. Who is the one the kids call out to when they’re looking for something?

Fenris. Lol. He’s the only real adult parent who knows where anything is.

5. Who’s constantly up checking on the baby in the middle of the night (even when the baby is sound asleep)? 

If Anders had been there when they were infants, he would’ve been up all night just staring at them, panicking if they made any kind of noise, then panicking if they weren’t making enough noise. But Fenris definitely was the wake-up-in-the-middle-of-the-night-suddenly-wondering-if-your-children-are-okay type who would go in and check on Leandera. Hawke kept Malcolm with her co-sleeping until he was old enough to demand his own space.

6. Who has their kids’ favorite movie nearly memorized on account of how frequently they request to watch it?

Anders. Because it’s his favorite, too. ;)

7. Who trails behind the baby to make sure they don’t fall? (And then has to console them once they inevitably do.)

Fenris when they were younger, then Anders. Hawke usually just laughed if they fell, and then helped them up. She’s not a bad mom, I swear. But kids are funny, ok?

8. Who knows to cut off the crust from the sandwiches?

Fenris, definitely.

9. Who started taking photos of the baby as soon as they were born?

Bethany? Merrill? Neither Fenris nor Hawke strike me as the photo-taking type (I mean, theoretically…), plus, they were sort of like, fugitives at the time.

10. Who doesn’t let the kids go out in the cold until they’re bundled in layers?

Anders, definitely. Also, he enchants all their outerwear and shoves health potions in all their pockets.

*Anders was, errr...indisposed (presumed dead? chillin’ in the Fade...y’know, as one does after blowing up the Chantry) for the first few years of the twins’ lives until someone used their weird magical connection to the Fade to bring him back.

...

Now, for Morristair and Kieran...

I answered BONUS! E here.

6. Who has their kids’ favorite movie nearly memorized on account on how frequently they request to watch it?

Definitely Morrigan. And I bet Kieran’s favorite movie (or story? play?) as a little kid would be like, IDK, the Thedas equivalent of Some Like It Hot or something totally random and old…ok, now I need to figure this one out. It’d have to be some weird Orlesian fairy tale...

15. Who is better at comforting the kids when they’re scared?

Both of them...Morrigan usually keeps a more even head and calming presence while reassuring Kieran, but Alistair gives really great hugs.

...

These are so fun. Thanks for all the asks...I may take you up on answering them all someday. ;) Omg...what if Stroghainoff adopted a kiddo? Wait...they already have, haven’t they? And his name is Nathaniel...

[fenharel-archived]

top 5 ships & top 5 favourite moments in video games that you’ve played!

top 5 ships:

solas x lavellan

zevran x warden

anders x hawke

avallac’h x deithwen

hmm depends on my mood.. rn arthur x delilah :3

top 5 moments:

meeting solas at the end of trespasser: c’mon u probably knew i would pick that one sjkdhfsdf. i literally mentally prepare myself everytime its time to replay this dlc lmaooo. the way this dlc builds up, music getting more and more intense, the inquisitior realising that everything they thought were true is actually not true... to then getting all their questions answered and being left with so many new ones... and especially with a romanced lavellan intensifying the entire experience... that little sprint she does when she hears his voice for the first time in 2 years, him still calling her vhenan, she telling him that she wont give up on him,......... kill me

ciri & geralt reuniting in tw3: when i tell u i wept

anders’ speech before blowing up the chantry: im mentally sipping a glas of wine whenever i replay that scene. talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular, never the same, totally unique, completely not ever been done before

shepard, battered and bloody, dragging themselves towards the control panel “what do you need me to do?”

ok this is hard but im mentally still in cowboy land so i’ll just pick a rdr2 scene... the moment where the gang rescues jack and burns down the braithwaite mansion: this is probably not even my favorite favorite moment of the game, let’s not talk about the ending missions Rip, but it is the first moment in the game i remember where i physically went 👁👄👁 . it was just THAT cool, i was shook dsjhfksdf. i was raving about it to my sister afterwards. i think (?) it was also the first time where literally the entire gang rides together, i got so excited, i was literally like holy shit holy shit holy SHIT, 👀👀👀 we mad!! 👀 no body is fucking with our son huh!!! did i mention i loved this game

put top 5 anything in my askbox

[irhinoceri]

back on my bullshit....

have written 11k words of my new Dragon Age fic and am jealously guarding it. no posting this baby until it has some coherency to it.

but under is the outline of the worldstate and such (subject to complete overhaul and capricious whim of course)

it’s a Morristair fic. no dark ritual dubcon needed because they love each other. i’m so fucking corny.

it will be in a series for a worldstate where all the DAO wardens survive. Mahariel deals the killing blow to the archdemon and is upset because he craves the sweet release of death and doesn’t get it. Morristair don’t tell anyone else anything about what happened at the final battle, and are kind of like “don’t look at us or our perfectly normal son Kieran ever again” parents. You wanna get rekt just ask “so what’s the deal with your kid why is he like that?”

Morrigan, preparing a spell: “did you just”

Alistair, drawing his sword: “nice hand you got there, be a shame if someone... cut it off...”

The Inquisitor: “jeezus forget I said anything....”

Aeducan and Brosca are the terrible two from Orzammar who just happen to be accidental in-laws and they WILL figure out that Harrowmont poisoned Endrin, which will end their fighting over who to support for King.

Tabris and Zevran are Together Forever Finding Healing and Love in this Dark Time... further plot ideas to follow.

Cousland marries Anora on the stipulation that he does whatever he can to ensure Loghain is spared... which includes but is not limited to throwing himself in front of Alistair’s sword. Alistair would be more upset about this if it entailed conscripting Loghain but he will just be put in the dungeon to await judgement after the battle. By that time Alistair will be gone for other reasons (Morrigan) and other characters who especially hate Loghain (Tabris) won’t have much power to do anything about it because Cousland is King Now and Doesn’t Give a Fuck what the Wardens Think, and needs to keep his new wife happy so she doesn’t arrange a poisoning. Loghain will be conscripted though since Cousland doesn’t want Anora and Loghain to have united power over him, so Loghain gets sent to Amaranthine to participate in Awakening with the Wardens who don’t defect after the final battle to travel the world with their lovers. He’ll be one of the new recruits that gets the Joining from the Seneschal.

Cousland is not a Warden in this worldstate... he didn’t get recruited by Duncan but instead escaped Highever and followed Fergus with Elissa, whom he leaves at the Lothering Chantry with Sister Leliana. He’ll arrive at Ostagar after the battle and ending up saving some of the other wardens who weren’t at the beacon lighting tower and didn’t get saved by Flemeth (I’m thinking that will be Alistair and Mahariel because Mahariel wants to die so badly because of Tamlen and keeps getting saved by Flemeth and Morrigan, please stop). Honestly thinking of doing a Merrill/Mahariel da2 era ship for this series because who better to make someone want to live again than Merrill?

As for DAI era shenanigans, Loghain will come to Skyhold and find Alistair there and they’ll both by like “you fucker what are you doing here” and Alistair will be like “not following Morrigan around everywhere she goes, I’m not a kept boy, spoiler, I’m a kept MAN” and Loghain will be like “you lack honor” and they’ll start punching each other until the Inquisitor pulls them apart and says “I’ve got two Wardens for the price of one!” Spoiler, neither of them get left behind in the Fade because Marian “I love to die, Mama I’m coming home” Hawke will fling herself into the Nightmare demon screaming “you think you’re scarier than real life, bitch??” without asking permission from anyone, first.

In fact, there will be very little Asking of Permission and Deferring to the Player Character in this Fic because everyone thinks they are the Player Character and wants things done their way. The Wardens will have to vote on stuff a lot unless one or more of them just says fuck it and does something before anyone else can stop them.

Amell and Surana will represent the two sides of the Circle Mage coin. One hates the circle and has always wanted to escape and rebel, the other is The Very Picture of a Perfect Circle Mage and they will be friends but also not. Their relationship will be defined by the struggle between these two ideologies but they also super care about each other and are ride or die when it comes right down to it.

While there is a male Cousland, there is also a fem Cousland, they’re dun dun da The Cousland Twins, but she is not a fighter (think Sansa not Arya), and there’s a whole bunch of sibling angst there. Aedan leaves their parents to die because he had to protect his sister and he resents her for it. Elissa feels like a massive burden. Eventually Aedan will get it into his head that he can marry Elissa to Alistair and take the throne, using them as puppets and being the true power as their Chancellor. This plan is totally spoiled by the fact that Alistair and Elissa don’t take to each other at all and will not cooperate with Aedan’s matchmaking. Aedan will be very upset that Elissa prefers the company of Leliana and Alistair prefers the company of Morrigan, until he gives up on that idea and switches to negotiating a marriage for himself to Anora. Aedan Cousland is absolutely the character who thinks he’s in Game of Thrones while everyone else is constantly like.... Can We Not? Can we? Not? Please?

(Except for Aeducan and Brosca who are always in Game of Thrones mode and don’t know any other way. they were born in the dark, molded by it... omg is that a bird? is that a bird? Duncan is that a bird? what the fuck the sky is so big. fuck. fuck fuck fuck!)

(Also Anora will be smitten with Cousland because she’s never met someone so devoted to machinations who was actually on her side, before).

Anyway that’s my broad outline. I will probably come up with more ideas for DA2 and DAI era plots for the various wardens as I flesh them out. Right now the only really fleshed out characters are the Cousland twins and Morristair, because I’m a Cousland Warden aficionado and a Morristair shipper at heart. But I know that once I spend enough time writing these kids I’ll end up with a dozen unmanageable story ideas for all of them.

[tevivinter]

die for you

Chapter 2: weak spots

[read on ao3]

Her movements were quick but calculated, feet moving only enough to dodge and parry at the exact moment. Darya flashed an arrogant smile, hair slick with sweat, air rushing in and out of her lungs. She had been sparring with Alistair for an hour or so, but the adrenaline coursing through her blood made it look like only a few minutes had passed.

She blocked his sword with one axe, and a metallic sound followed when she jolted the other one against the blade, pulling it away from him like a hook. The weapon fell to the ground with an empty thud.

Darya gave out a bored sigh, resisting the urge to roll her eyes. "I told you not to go easy. You are not really trying to hit me, are you?"

"Uh, did you forget about the part where you insisted to use real weapons?" Alistair pointed at the sword for emphasis. "And that maybe, just maybe, there’s a chance you might actually get hurt?”

“Oh, please.” Darya suppressed a mocking laugh, her stance becoming more relaxed as she rested one axe upon her shoulder. “Did the templars train you with wooden swords by any chance?”

“What? No!” She raised one questioning brow at his quick denial, and Alistair couldn’t help but feel embarrassed. “I mean, only at the beginning-”

“Well that explains a lot,” she interrupted dryly.

He groaned. “Look, my point is that I don’t want to accidentally stab you. Or have your axe buried in my head. Nope, I’m totally fine as it is.”

“No need to be so dramatic, Chantry boy.” Darya rolled her eyes. “Besides, you wouldn’t manage to land a hit on me even if you wanted to.”

"Thank you so much for the compliment," Alistair muttered sarcastically. “Why don’t you… I don’t know, ask Zevran instead?” His gaze soon turned to the elf’s usual spot by the camp, glancing at him from a distance. “I bet he wouldn’t mind that."

The annoyance in his tone was crystal clear, but Darya ignored it as her thoughts went in an interesting direction. It would be nice to spar with someone else for a change - she had been practicing with Alistair long enough to read and predict most of his actions. Zevran, on the other hand...

"Well then." A new surge of determination made her tighten the grip on both axes. "This might be a genuinely good idea.”

Zevran sat near his tent, calmly sorting out what appeared to be small bottles of poison into his bag.  He didn't need to look to know that the footsteps coming into his direction belonged to Darya. It wasn't exactly his plan to overhear their conversation, but he couldn't do anything about his elven hearing either. Still, Zevran waited until Darya stood right beside him, her shadow looming over his belongings.

He pretended to be surprised as he tilted his head up to face her. “Oh? Is there something you need, bela?”

"Yes. I happen to be looking for a sparring partner." She vaguely pointed one axe towards Alistair. "Chantry boy there would like to learn a few things."

"Hey, I didn't say anything!" Alistair protested from afar.

"Hmm. I'm intrigued." Zevran leaned back a little, a spark of curiosity shining in his eyes. "If I might ask, is there a particular reason why you want to spar with me? There are plenty of candidates in this camp after all." Then his lips curved into a smirk, as if he had just realized something. “Is it because I’m ‘handsome’, as you like to call?”

Darya’s scoff was louder than expected. That was more of a side benefit, actually, but she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing either way. “Don’t push your luck, assassin. We haven’t sparred yet - let’s just say I’m curious.”

“Whatever you say, my dear warden.” Zevran said nonchalantly as he stood up, proceeding to pick up his daggers. He followed Darya’s steps to an open space between the tents and the edge of the camp. “Shall we compete for points then?”

“Do as you like.” She rolled her shoulders in preparation before positioning herself at a reasonable distance from him. Then she drew her axes once more, an arrogant smile lighting her features with determination. “Just don’t expect to win.”

Zevran mirrored her expression, but Darya stepped forward before he had any chance to reply. She wanted to surprise him with a quick attack, yet Zevran managed to parry the blow, daggers crossed to lessen the impact. She was forced a few steps back to avoid the swift swing of his blades. His speed was far greater than expected, and the contrast between his fighting style and his laidback attitude was like day and night.

Zevran was, after all, fighting to win.

A flurry of metallic sounds followed, axes and daggers relentlessly colliding with one another. It was almost like performing a dance, their rhythm oddly in sync as they moved. It was hard to pay attention to his footwork and parry when she had so little time to act. Turns out Darya was not as fast as him - but she was definitely stronger. She ducked to the side and used the momentum to hit the back of his legs. The impact caused Zevran to lose his balance, daggers slipping away from his hands when he fell.

Darya gave a satisfied smile. “One point for me."

Zevran chuckled before easing himself up again. “I must admit that this was not what I had in mind when I pictured you pushing me to the ground.”

“Keep distracting yourself and this will be over real soon, handsome.”

Both of them stepped back, using a small moment to catch their breaths before starting all over again.

Sparring with Zevran was unlike anything she had ever done. Darya felt a different jolt of adrenaline course through her blood each time he managed to surprise her. She was used to restrain herself while practicing, measuring her strength and abilities in order not to hurt her partners too much. Truth be told, it was no easy task to find someone as skilled as herself. But this, him-  Darya couldn’t remember the last time she felt so free. For once she didn’t need to worry, instead only focusing on proper combat. Zevran offered her some kind of challenge, one she had desperately missed for so long without even realizing. It was something so new and refreshing but also powerful, like an electrical storm rushing through her veins.

The camp soon faded into the distance. They sparred for a long while until the back of her neck became damp with sweat, several strands of hair escaping from her loose ponytail. Darya's shirt clung to her skin, the grip on her axes considerably weaker than before. Zevran appeared to be in a similar situation, chest heaving up and down as he breathed. Darya searched for a weak spot in his stance. There was an opening at his left side, she realized, but it took only a second before he closed the gap between them. A dagger attempted to hit her right side and Darya easily defended it – only to realize it was a blow meant for distraction.

And soon she was lying on the ground with Zevran hovering on top of her.

He let out a breathless chuckle, one hand pinned to the ground to keep his balance, the other holding a dagger a few inches from Darya's chin. "It appears luck is on my side today, no?"

She stared at him, finding herself to be completely speechless. It was careless and stupid of her to let that happen, yet her frustrations were soon forgotten when Darya realized how close he was. Zevran seemed to notice it as well, and for a moment there was nothing but the sound of their ragged breaths. He unconsciously lowered the dagger to take in the sight of Darya lying beneath him. Her lips were slightly open as she panted, face flushed by the adrenaline, strands of golden hair sticking to her sweaty skin. She was gorgeous even like that, and Zevran resisted the urge to trace her jaw with his fingers.

That is, until Darya pulled him down for a kiss.

She curled her fingers around the fabric of his shirt, a soft sigh leaving her lips when Zevran kissed her back just as fiercely. She opened her mouth to meet his tongue, molten desire making her heart thump with the taste of him. Demanding hands urged Zevran even closer, and Darya felt his smirk against her lips. He allowed his body to relax more, but only enough to press her down a bit.

As soon as Zevran had his guard down, Darya took the chance to flip them over.

A smug smile crossed her lips when she had him pinned down, knees firmly placed on either side of his ribs and hands trapping his wrists above his head. More importantly, the last dagger was gone from his grip.

"To be honest, I didn't think you would fall for that. It’s the oldest trick in the book," Darya scoffed. "But I told you it wasn’t going to lose."

Zevran didn’t seem to mind at all. In fact, he appeared to be enjoying the whole situation. "You are as cruel as you are beautiful, my dear.” He glanced up to indicate his wrists and then back at her. “Still - if you wanted to bound me, all you needed to do was ask.”

She chuckled in response - except this time it felt genuine.

Zevran became used to the fact that Darya wasn’t spontaneous about her feelings. She often wore a smug smile, one that worked wonderfully to deceive most people. It didn’t take him long to realize that her smiles never reached her eyes. Deep down they were just invisible walls, cold and hard to see through. Zevran only did because he could relate to that. He, too, had been building up walls ever since he was a child.

And so her laugh came out as a surprise. It was brief, yet warm enough to light up her whole face. For only a moment there were no signs of sarcasm, just the real her, bright and welcoming as the sun. For only a moment her gaze softened and he could see how beautiful she truly were.

But Darya soon snapped back to reality. She leaned back a little, a small frown the only visible sign of her confusion. She continued as if nothing had happened, though her voice became undeniably harsher.

“In your dreams, handsome.” There was an uncertain feeling to her look that she just couldn’t shake off. Darya soon stood up, ignoring the curiosity in Zevran’s gaze. “We’re done for today.”

Under normal circumstances he would have continued to tease, but he knew it was not the right moment to do that. Not anymore at least. Zevran simply nodded then, proceeding to get on his feet as well. “As you say.”

Then she walked away, her conflicting thoughts being the only company she had for a while. To think that she actually had fun with Zevran... it was odd. She didn't plan any of that. It simply happened, and Darya hated to deal with things that were beyond her control. T here was something about him that s he couldn't place yet - something different. Whether it was good or not, only time would tell.

[lvllns]

rare is this love

open hand or closed fist would be fine | zevran arainai X isseya mahariel. chapter 1 of 20 (complete). ~2.5k words, ~102k words total.

so because i didn’t post chapters here as i wrote them, i’m going to post them to this blog now sporadically as i remember because i really do want this on my blog. it’s......i’m very proud of it.

[read on ao3 instead]

—

“You are too trusting da’len. The world will not be kind to you and you should not be so eager to help everyone who needs it.”

Ashalle’s words play on a loop in Isseya’s head as she looses arrows at bandits and curses her mother for being right. Again. Despite the warnings, she never did learn and she doubts she ever will. That just isn’t her.

Another elf materializes out of the shadows, twin daggers in his hands and she quickly spins around to catch his attempted blow with the wood of her bow. A twist of her weapon, simple and sharp, curls his wrist the wrong way and he darts back to avoid dropping his blade. Her free hand reaches down, draws her own dagger, and she barely ducks out of the way when he slashes at her.

He is fast. Faster than her. Quick and agile with keen eyes that have already figured out her horrible tendency to step back and away instead of forward. He crowds her, changes his strategy from long, sweeping slashes to short, staccato thrusts that poke at her armor.

“Oh you are good,” she grits out, jaw clenching.

He winks at her, the bastard, and she barely resists sticking her tongue out. Really, she thinks the only reason she doesn’t is because he just...disappears. Melts into the shadows and she takes the reprieve to shoulder her bow, draw the Warden longsword from her hip and try to catch a bit of her breath.

She scans the battlefield. Finds it littered with bodies and arrows and Alistair renders one of the last men standing headless with an easy swing of his arm.

An uneasy feeling settles in the pit of her stomach. “Where did you go?” She mumbles, eyes flicking from high point to high point and —  there. She catches sight of him, a mere ripple in the shadows beneath a tree, and when he charges, she is ready.

Isseya catches him in the temple with the pommel of her longsword and there’s a brief moment of something that flashes across his face before he crumples to the ground in a heap. Unconscious. His dagger manages to catch her in the side as he goes down, right above her hip bone and her face scrunches up. Wynne is going to have something to say about that back at camp but for now, she sheaths her blades.

“Alright?” She yells.

“Alive,” Leliana chirps back happily, her own bow held loosely in her hands.

Alistair grunts as he walks over. “What in the Maker’s name was that?” His eyes catch on the blood dripping from her side. “We need to get you back to camp.”

Isseya shrugs. Reaches down and covers the wound with her hand. “It will keep, I’m more curious about trying to figure out who sent him,” she jerks her chin in the direction of the man curled up on the ground.

“He isn’t dead?” Alistair blinks. Looks from the other elf to Isseya and back again, head tilting.

“If I wanted him dead, he’d be dead.”

The warrior hums, hand resting on the handle of his sword. Leliana bends down and scoops up the daggers that were dropped and moves them out of reach.

Isseya lifts her foot and nudges the back of the man’s thigh. When she gets no response, she moves higher and pushes hard enough that he rolls onto his back with a pained groan.

“See?” She grins up at Alistair. “Perfectly fine.”

“I humbly beg to differ,” he reaches up and scrubs a hand over his face. “Maker but you hit hard,” he touches at his temple and winces.

There’s a small puddle of blood under him and his skin is split where she caught his head. Really, he’s pretty bloody and if his expression is anything to go by, he’s in quite a bit of pain.

Isseya moves to rummage through her pack and pulls out an elfroot potion. Cracks it open as she kneels next to him. He looks at her warily, amber eyes bright, and she sighs.

“Elfroot, I promise,” she says.

His brows furrow, like he doesn’t understand why she’s doing this and honestly, she doesn’t either. She may not enjoy the suffering of others but he did try to kill her so really, him bleeding while she questions him shouldn’t matter that much.

But it does.

For some reason.

Isseya wiggles the flask back and forth until he reaches up and takes it slowly. His eyes never leave her face as he knocks it back. His nose wrinkles. She stands up and stretches until her back cracks.

“Was that truly necessary?” Alistair grumbles from behind her.

She shrugs. Looks down and catches the eyes of the other man who is looking at her so curiously. “I have questions, they’re most easily answered with him alive,” a look over her shoulder and Alistair snorts.

“Questions, hm?” The elf rolls onto his side with a gasp and takes a deep breath. “Let me save you some time and get right to the point,” with a grunt he pushes himself into a sitting position, legs out in front of him and palms on his thighs. “My name is Zevran, Zev to my friends,” he winks at her again and Isseya rolls her eyes even as the corners of her mouth twitch. “I am a member of the Antivan Crows, brought here for the sole purpose of slaying any remaining Grey Wardens,” his eyes move from her to Alistair and back again. “Which I have failed at, quite obviously.”

“I find myself rather glad you failed,” Isseya says, voice dry and flat.

Zevran laughs. “Were I in your shoes, I would be quite glad as well. For myself, however, it sets a rather poor precedent, no?” He tips his head back to meet her gaze. “Getting captured by your target seems a tad detrimental to one’s budding assassin career.”

She points at him, eyes wide. “I thought I recognized that one move with your daggers!”

“I — What?”

“You’re just sorely unlucky,” now it’s her turn to grin and wink at him. “I have assassin training.”

She watches as his head tilts, his eyes dropping to her face and he must be tracing her vallaslin.

“Interesting,” he says.

“What are the Crows?” She folds her arms over her chest.

“Oh, I can tell you that,” Leliana speaks up. “They are an order of assassins out of Antiva. Extremely powerful and well known for getting the job done, so to speak. They are pricey,” she turns to Isseya, brows furrowing. “Someone spared no expense to hire this man.”

“I am wounded that you have not heard of the Crows down here,” Isseya drags her gaze back to Zevran only to find him reclining on one elbow while his other hand presses against his chest like he’s terribly affronted. “We are rather infamous back in Antiva.”

Isseya cocks a brow. “Famous for being sub-par assassins?”

He laughs. Zevran actually throws his head back and laughs. “Is this how you Fereldans treat your prisoners? So cruel,” he grins wide, all sharp teeth and something a little bit dangerous.

She grins back, flashes her own canines, and moves to place her hands on her hips. “Who hired you?”

He snorts. “A rather taciturn fellow in the capital. Loghain, I believe his name was.”

“Elgar’nan’s balls, of course,” she rakes a hand through her hair, swearing under her breath as she starts to pace back and forth.

“You were expecting an assassination attempt?”

“Expecting is maybe the wrong word, I guess I’m not surprised. He seems the sort, especially after we let those men in Lothering go,” she groans. Fists her hands in her hair for a moment before sighing and dropping her eyes to the ground. “Fucking Mythal’s tits, why did I send them back with a message for Loghain? The next time I want to annoy a  shem in power someone knock some sense into me.”

“Does this mean you’re loyal to Loghain then?” Alistair speaks up, the leather of his glove creaks as his grip on his sword tightens.

Zevran’s eyes drop to his hand before he looks up. “I have no idea what his issues are with the two of you. The usual, I imagine. You threaten his power, yes?” He shrugs. “Beyond that, no, I am not loyal to him. I was contracted for a service, which he paid for.”

Alistair bristles and Isseya reaches out to lay a hand on his arm before she turns to Zevran. “What now then?”

“Well, that is between Loghain and the Crows,” with a shrug, he sighs. “And myself and the Crows, I suppose.”

“And between you and me?”

“That is what we are establishing now, no?” He quirks a brow. “I wasn’t to see him again. Had I been successful, I would have returned home and the Crows would have informed Loghain of the results. In the event of a failure, I would be dead,” he locks eyes with her. “Or, well, I should be dead as far as the Crows are concerned,” a blinding smile now, though it doesn’t reach his eyes. “What can I say? I am an eternal optimist.”

Isseya pinches the bridge of her nose and takes a good look at the man in front of her. He looks better at least, the bleeding has stopped and the split skin over his temple is healed over without even a mark. Her own wound bleeds sluggishly but she continues to ignore it. Wynne can lecture her about it later if she must.

“So did Loghain pay you then?”

Zevran shakes his head. “No, I was not paid. The Crows were, and rather handsomely from what I understand,” he frowns. “Which...makes me about as poor as a Chantry mouse come to think of it. Being an Antivan Crow isn’t for the ambitious, to be perfectly honest.”

“I feel like I’m hallucinating,” Alistair snaps as he rubs his fingers over the knot between his brows. “You were contracted to kill us but you weren’t paid, at all, but you did it anyway? Why even be a Crow if you don’t get paid?”

“Well, aside from my impressive lack of ambition, I was not given much of a choice,” Zevran’s voice takes a hard edge even as he tries to keep it light. Isseya’s brows knit together. “The Crows bought me young. I was a bargain, or so I’m led to believe,” she opens her mouth to speak but he keeps talking. “Do not let my sad story influence you, the Crows are not so bad. They do keep you well supplied with wine, women, men,” he winks at Alistair, who blushes and looks away. “Whatever you happen to fancy, really. Although the severance package is horrible. I would strongly recommend thinking twice about joining.”

Isseya snorts. “Thanks ever so much, I’ll take that into consideration.”

“You seem sharp, I’m sure you have other options.”

“I wonder if the Grey Wardens will take me.”

Zevran barks out a laugh as she grins. He inhales sharply, wincing when he twists a little and reaches up to press his hand against his side. Isseya pulls another elfroot potion from her belt and hands it to him. He swallows. Looks from her hand to her face a few times before unsteadily reaching out to take the flask from her.

Alistair makes an annoyed sound from somewhere to her left. Leliana simply clears her throat delicately and when Isseya glances her way, the Chantry sister smiles like she knows something Isseya doesn’t. Her cheeks heat and she twists back in time to watch Zevran chuck the glass off to the side.

“Why tell me all of this?” She sucks her bottom lip between her teeth and begins to chew on it.

“I was not paid for my silence,” his eyes narrow briefly before he shrugs. “And anyway, why not? Loyalty is an interesting concept.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, here’s the thing,” he crosses his legs and leans back. “I failed to kill you so my life is forfeit. If you don’t kill me, the Crows will. However, I find that I am rather fond of living and you are obviously the type to give the Crows pause so let me serve you instead.”

Isseya blanches, ears pulling back against her skull. “I don’t want — Creators, I don’t want you to serve me at all!”

“Oh?”

“If you come with us, you’ll be on equal footing.”

He blinks at her a few times. “That is — Well.”

“Wait, wait,” Alistair steps in, hand on Isseya’s shoulder as he glares down at Zevran. “What’s to stop you from just finishing the job later?”

“Honestly, I was not given a choice about joining the Crows. I was...purchased from the slave market as a child,” Zevran shrugs. “I think I have paid my worth back to them, plus tenfold. The only way out, that I can see, is to join up with someone they cannot touch. Besides, even if I were to kill you now, the Crows might just kill me on principle for failing the first time. I would rather take my chances with you.”

Isseya swallows hard. Closes her eyes and exhales slowly.

“Isseya,” Leliana speaks up. “We are not going to kill him, are we?”

She looks over at the other archer, shoulders slumping before she turns back to Zevran. “Will they come after you?”

“Probably, eventually. But I know their ways and I can protect myself, despite evidence to the contrary. I would say I could protect you as well but, I doubt you need my help.”

“I can offer you a share of whatever coin we come across as well,” she smiles and he snorts.

“Does this mean I am coming with you?”

“Yeah,” she huffs a breath through her nose. “Looks like you are.”

“You do not want to hear about all the...skills, I possess?” He wiggles his eyebrows and she laughs. “They are numerous, I assure you.”

“You cannot be serious,” there’s a clang as Alistair’s shield falls to the ground. He throws his hands up. “Taking the assassin with us? Does that really seem like a good idea?”

Isseya shrugs. “Don’t worry about it, the more the merrier right? We do need all the help we can get, and maybe now Morrigan won’t only pick on you.”

He rolls his eyes. “Alright, fine, but if there was ever a sign we’re desperate, I think it just knocked on the door.”

She shrugs. Reaches down and offers her hand to the man still on the ground in front of her. He takes it, grip solid and strong, and they get him to his feet. He’s still a little unsteady and he sways for a moment before shaking his head.

“I hereby pledge my oath of loyalty to you, until such a time as you choose to release me from it. I am your man, without reservation. This I swear,” Zevran grins.

“Oh fuck off,” Isseya rolls her eyes and thumps him on the back.

Zevran laughs.

[robotslenderman]

My Cabbie headcanon, or: How a Vampiric Cab Driver Scared the Everloving Shit out of the Entire Tremere Pyramid, or: The Greatest Prank of the 21st Century

So in my headcanon, the Cabbie is a 4th generation Malk who thinks he’s Caine and has actually convinced Jack that he is. Cabbie was Malking along minding his own business, sired Maddy at some point, and left her post-Embrace with one of his descendant childer... who was held responsible for Maddy’s illegal siring and subsequently executed without anyone bothering to talk to the guy at all.

Before I go more into the events of this headcanon, I’m gonna do some justification as to why I have a vampire OC with such a ridiculously low generation. 

Scroll to the bolded bit to skip the rambling.

I decided that Maddy was so low generation because of a combination of things -- firstly, I don’t think it makes sense at all that Caine himself would just hang around driving a cab. Like. Why. He can do anything he wants and he ends up... dealing the shittiest customer service job ever that’s so bad that kine have gotten killed doing it? Yeah that always bugged me. It’s not like there’s a shortage of roles he could pretend to take that are lowkey. But, whatever.

And then there’s the abilities of the PC. First of all, Strauss immediately gets in touch with you so early that you’re still a nobody who’s expected to die on your first mission. Like, as soon as you wake up in Santa Monica, his card is there. You’re at the point where nobody thinks you’ll last five seconds.

Strauss is the only person who gives any indication of knowing that you will. And he’s certain enough he wants you on his side.

He has no reason to believe you’ll survive. You’re a Fledgling. You’re newly Embraced. You don’t have a sire to guide you, and LaCroix is essentially your adopted sire now (he says in the prologue that he’s now responsible for you) but everyone knows that’s a joke, and he wants you dead so he throws you at the Sabbat. No doubt everyone knows that he’s going to do that for the bit of humiliation that was your not-execution, even if they don’t know you’re being sent to blow up the warehouse. Everyone expects you to die.

Strauss doesn’t. If you’re Tremere that gives him reason to reach out, but if you’re of any other clan he has no reason to reach out to what’s essentially a baby that has just been punted into a snowstorm with a bunch of starving snow leopards.

Secondly, Strauss refers to your great power. It bookends his appearances in the game -- his first introduction to the player has him referencing the Fledgling’s power in his letter, and if you play his ending, it’s also one of the last things he mentions. He followed you during your ending while under the cover of obfuscate. It’s almost certainly the reason why he reached out to you at all. Best to get in early, when the other vamps think you’re a joke, before they realise you’re not.

Thirdly -- Strauss is totally right on that. The Fledgling, despite being such a new vampire, not only fucks up incredibly powerful enemies but enemies that an eighth generation of any age would have extreme difficulty with. It’s so blatant that people speculate that Caine lowered your generation artificially. And yet, Strauss is the only person to notice at all that you’re more powerful than you should be by any rights -- and did so before the PC even meets the Cabbie, even if the PC first meets the Cabbie off-screen while being transported to Santa Monica.

(At one point during the prologue you also see Strauss, who was quite relaxed and blowing off Velvet Velour a moment before, suddenly sit up as if taking notice of something. I don’t think it was due to what LaCroix said -- LaCroix was still going on about how Naughty the PC’s sire had been, so it can’t have been that; I thought that might have been his “IT’S OVER NINE THOUSAND” moment.)

(Oh god I just realised that my younger readers might have no idea what I’m referring to, wtf)

So... because of all of those things I headcanoned that Cabbie was a very low generation Malk, and Maddy his childe. Because yeah, a Malkavian who already has delusions of grandeur would absolutely think that being a cab driver in LA is a good idea and a Caine-like thing to do. And it’d explain why the PC is so powerful, and how Strauss detected that power so quickly before you meet the Cabbie for the first time.

Obviously the whole thing falls apart if you play literally anything but a Malk.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Now on with the headcanon of what the Tremere were up to during VTMB -- 

So obviously Strauss realises pretty quickly, “Wait, she is way too powerful to be that man’s childe. Better keep an eye on this one.”

And if she’s not this guy’s childe, who does she belong to? She must be the childe of an even more powerful vampire.

And there’s an atmosphere in LA that’s unsettled all the kindred, too.

So he quickly puts two and two together -- there’s a Methuselah in LA, and its mere presence is bugging the shit out of everybody. While LaCroix, Beckett, and everyone else has their eyes turned to the Elizabeth Dane, Strauss is the first and only person uninvolved with Jack’s shenanigans to realise that it’s a red herring. He doesn’t dismiss the Sarcophagus being involved out of hand, but he’s pretty sure that the Methuselah is what everyone should be worried about, especially if Gehenna is a real thing.

The Methuselah’s presence is incredibly bad news. If the superstitious kindred are correct -- and he’ll never claim to know better than them without evidence, just as he won’t claim to know better than the Gehenna denialists -- then there’s somebody roaming around LA during the beginning of the End Of Days who could be an awakened ancient, and it’s going to be extremely difficult to stop him when, and not if, he decides to smack a few Camarilla like bugs.

(I’m saying “he” because, well, he’s a he. But the Tremere don’t know that.)

And said Methuselah has a kid now. One that is powerful enough that his childe’s power is almost on par with LA’s elite the same night she’s Embraced. 

And it just drives home how fucked LA’s kindred could be -- there’s absolutely nothing stopping this Methuselah from spawning his own army and it would be more than a match for LA’s elite. They’re fifth generation. They don’t need to hang around gaining power if the Methuselah makes enough of them.

Sure, the prevailing beliefs are that the Methuselah are the Antediluvians’ enemies, but that’s still no reason to want a fucking Methuselah gaining power in your city, and if it turns out to be a rare ally of the Antediluvians then that’s even worse news because that means you’re going to have an ancient running around eating people.

And if the Methuselah decides to actually raise his childer to maturity and then strike, they’re even more fucked because by then the childer might not be contained to LA, and their powers will be much more developed and under the guidance someone who’s a way better teacher than any elder or ancilla would be.

So Strauss is like, “Oh. Fuck.”

There is absolutely nothing good about this. And he’s come to all of these conclusions before Maddy’s even finished the tutorial. By the time he’s back in his haven, his Lord already knows what’s going on and Strauss has his orders -- screw the sarcophagus, watch the childe.

There’s two factors that might save them -- Maddy doesn’t know who her true sire is and so won’t seek him out, and she’s under the guardianship of the Camarilla. She can’t sneeze without LA’s kindred knowing how many tissues she reached for. Because of that, if the Methuselah tries to reclaim her, Strauss will know about it and the Camarilla as a whole would immediately take notice. It’s the only reason, in fact, that the Pyramid don’t immediately decide to warn the Camarilla. 

Maddy is basically treated as a potential alarm for Gehenna that could go off at any moment.

So while LaCroix and all of LA are chasing after wild geese, Strauss is busy networking and spying. When Maddy finally shows up Downtown, it’s immediately obvious it’s one of Malkav’s childer who’s in LA -- Strauss is able to extrapolate that Madeline is fifth generation, as she’s powerful enough to be a threat to a sixth generation vampire, but it’s almost impossible that it’s Malkav himself running around LA given that people are still pretty sure he’s stuck under Jerusalem or whatever. (Hopefully.)

Her being a grandchilde of Malkav means her sire, however, is a bit of a wildcard. You never fucking know with Malkavians. With literally any other clan, the Tremere can go “Yeah, they’re up to no good and they’re going to destroy us all and/or get us all destroyed”, but with a literal childe of Malkav... who the fuck knows. It could be a childe of Malkav who thinks he’s an Antediluvian, or somehow better. It could be a childe of Malkav who’s actively trying to fulfil Gehenna, because yeah, if there’s one bunch of Methuselahs who’d kick off Gehenna it’d be the fucking Malkavians.

Or there’s even the possibility that one is just literally passing through and doing what the fuck ever.

They just don’t know. No clue. Any other clan they’d have a better idea, but nope, she had to be a grandchilde of fucking Malkav, so they have a lot less to work with and a lot more uncertainty.

It’s to the Pyramid’s absolute relief that she seems to get quite attached to Strauss very quickly and tends to pop by the Chantry to ask him questions. She doesn’t quite ask for guidance, but she asks him for facts, and he does his best to guide her all the same without being too pushy in case he alienates her. He is very, very careful with her. While the Anarchs and LaCroix are bossing her around, he is quick to establish himself as someone who respects her as a person who can make her own decisions, and has no interest in manipulating her himself.

(It’s for damn good reason -- she’s more useful to him just by being around than by doing his bidding. He cannot risk alienating her at all, especially because part of such a fickle clan and it’ll take some time before he feels he knows her well enough to put her to other uses.)

And the Pyramid discusses things, and Strauss’s Lord gets back to him and basically tells him, “It’s a long shot, but it might be worth getting in touch with the Malkavian primogen to see if he knows or can foresee anything.”

So Strauss reaches out to Grout.

And he doesn’t answer. So Strauss stays calm and gets in touch with Gary... who’s just as puzzled as he is. Okay, it’s never a good sign when a Nosferatu primogen doesn’t have answers, but he reaches out to the other primogen just in case and not a single one knows what the fuck has happened to Grout.

And the Pyramid is like, “FUCK.” This can’t be a coincidence. A Malkavian Methuselah running around LA, and at the same time the Malkavian primogen mysteriously goes missing? Yeah, no.

(Yeah, yes. Thank you, LaCroix and Ming-Xiao, for giving the Tremere a collective fucking heart attack.)

So LaCroix is cornered by the primogen, sends Maddy to Grout, quickly rings up Ming-Xiao all “hey I have an idea”, 

and then Maddy comes back all “yeah, no, Nines was there and also this random German guy.”

Cue the Tremere going ???????????????????????????????????????? and Strauss having to take a few moments to catch them up on Who’s Who of the Anarchs in LA.

“Who the fuck is the German guy?”

“According to LaCroix, a member of the Society of Leopold.”

“????????????????????????????? The fuck are they doing in the middle of all this?!?!”

Shit just got a hell of a lot more complicated.

So now Strauss has to not only track down the Methuselah (which he’s been trying to do the whole time without much luck), he has to track down Nines (who’s gone into hiding) and see if he knows what the fuck is going on, and subtly get the Nosferatu to see what the Society of Leopold are up to in case they’re a possible red flag there, and they’ve made zero progress on that by the time Maddy reappears telling them that somebody’s fucked off with the Ankaran Sarcophagus.

It really, really isn’t Strauss’s week. It’s not even two steps forward, one step back, it’s just all backwards. Shit has gone completely out of control and there’s a whole bunch of wildcards just chucked into the area and nobody knows what the FUCK is happening. The Tremere are scrabbling. Maddy disappears into Hollywood, has more squabbles with the Sabbat, turns up again with the Ankaran Sarcophagus. Thank fuck. 

Unfortunately, before the Nosferatu and Tremere can turn up any links between any Methuselahs and the Society of Leopold, LaCroix has hysterically thrown Maddy at them trying to murder her and all that happens is that Grunfeld Bach and his headquarters, and any evidence of any links with the Methuselah, are blown the fuck up.

Great.

Just fucking great.

Even Strauss’s Lord loses his touch of professionalism long enough to remark, “Jesus fucking Christ, I’m just glad she’s not pointed at us.”

Literally the next night Maddy’s set on the Hallowbrook hotel and a Blood Hunt is declared on her.

Cue the entire Tremere going, “oh no he didn’t.”

This is the perfect opportunity for the Methuselah to strike, to grab Maddy and abscond. And sure enough, he does, although not the way anyone expects.

Strauss’s Lord: “Oh my fucking Christ, we’re getting rid of LaCroix, this is unacceptable. Strauss, want a promotion?”

Strauss, internally: are you fucking serious.

Strauss, out loud: “If it serves the Pyramid, my Lord.”

So now his orders are to wait another night and see if Maddy shows up. They’re all crossing their fingers and hoping that Strauss did his job well enough that he’s the first person she comes to for help. When/if she does, they kick LaCroix the fuck outta LA because you fucking IDIOT you’re going to GET US ALL KILLED.

If she doesn’t show up that night, Strauss’s Lord’s Pontifex is going to the leader of the Camarilla (whose name escapes me at the moment) to personally tell him everything they’ve discovered and get him to put LaCroix on a fucking leash. 

They are seriously lucky that the Methuselah hasn’t, for whatever reason they can’t figure out, just literally made another goddamn fifth gen. He could do this whenever he wants, but he hasn’t. They have no idea why, but Strauss hasn’t noticed any other new faces in LA’s kindred community and certainly none with Maddy’s power, so they can only assume that the Methuselah got spooked by what happened with his descendant’s execution and decided to lie low for a bit. 

The Tremere know he’s still in LA, because everyone’s still on edge and Strauss can feel it thick on the air. He’s there. Watching. It’s looking more and more likely he swooped in and grabbed his childe -- 

And then Maddy turns up, all puppy eyed and stressed out and hallucinating more than normal. Strauss’s Lord has been telepathically keeping an eye on him since it got dark in Vienna and has been really antsy because the sun’ll be up in a few hours there and fuck where is that childe. But Maddy shows up and as soon as Strauss basically tells her he knows she’s innocent (he actually doesn’t know for sure, he barely knows what the fuck is going on, but he’s sure as hell not going to tell her that) she’s absolutely over the moon

And Strauss knows that yes, he’s done his job, this childe now belongs to the Pyramid.

And he sends her to arrest LaCroix and secure the Sarcophagus. He knows she can do it. She does. LaCroix is arrested, the Sarcophagus is secured, LaCroix is secured and now he’s the Prince of LA. The Methuselah didn’t strike quickly enough to get a hold of Maddy; soon as she woke up in Santa Monica that evening she made a beeline for Strauss.

Later that night Strauss is standing outside personally overseeing the loading of the Sarcophagus in a truck for transport. And he feels it -- that heaviness in the air is suddenly much more potent, much stronger than before. It’s there. And for a brief moment he thinks that oh god, there’s something in the Sarcophagus, it was all true, it wasn’t the Methuselah we should be worried about, it’s in the Sarcophagus and it’s awake -- 

But the truck drives away. And the feeling remains.

And then Strauss suddenly realises where it’s coming from, just as a nearby taxi starts up and drives off in the opposite direction.

Strauss makes a mental note of the taxi’s number plate, and over the next few nights he has ghouls and Nosferatu agents track down the cab in question to find out who it was transporting and what their destination was.

But the agents get back to him:

There’s no taxi registered under that number plate. There’s no car registered under that plate at all.

Strauss sends out orders to all who report to him to search the city for the taxi, but by the next dawn the heaviness has lifted from LA, and the taxi is gone, and never seen again.

[thebookworm0001]

the dragon age girls for the oc is problematic thing?

Oh boy, here we go.

Solona: Completely ignored the suffering of her fellow mages in order to make her own existence more comfortable. Upon reaching a position of power, did not advocate for the improvement of their circumstances. Supports the Templars, the Circle, and the Chantry. The only way that support changes is that it goes from ‘a few bad apples’ mentality to ‘there needs to be reform but it’s still not all bad.’ Is suuuuuper manipulative when she wants to be. Coerced her lover into sleeping with a woman he hates so they could stay alive and convinced him to become King and make her his mistress because she thought it was best despite his protests.

Marian: Shouts about mage rights but doesn’t use her sudden position of power and wealth to help anyone. She could fund the entire mage underground and still sit pretty in Hightown but doesn’t. She only bribes the Templars to look the other way for her and her friends. She’s only upset with Anders for blowing up a massive building because he didn’t tell her what he was doing. Is totally chill with one of her best friends using blood magic and summoning demons.

Ellana: Very clearly plays favorites. She’ll sentence a woman who has arranged the deaths of her people to work amongst them, knowing full well that she’ll be killed. Her friend is revealed as a murderer who killed children for coin? She’ll save him from the gallows and allow him to continue his previous life uninterrupted.

Also is in love with The Dread Wolf and didn’t tell anyone when she suspected he was an ancient elf. Also let him murder a group of mages for not properly understanding the spirit they were summoning. Also asked if she could help hip rip down the veil with every intent to help him complete that goal even after he told her that would end in the deaths of thousands.

[abbeyfangirl]

dragon age: all characters (companions)

I’ve been in this fandom for a hot minute now and I want to update my opinions on characters :)

Origins

Alistair: super sweet dude who literally is not the stereotypicalchantryguyfightme. He’s a great example of healthy masculinity and I totally wish he was bi because I have an entire essay on that— also: he’s a poc! His mum was brown. In game he’s got dark features. if you really want a blond/blue-eyes/white guy, make your warden that. or accept that brown people can be noble and moral. or just draw cailan, idk. just because BioWare whitewashes doesn’t mean you should.

Leliana: someone hug my singing girlfriend before I crush her under with my own hugs. Also: nugs. Yes! Shoes. Yes! She likes how I style my hair? YES!! I honestly think she’s super duper and it pisses me off whenever someone’s like: yeah she enjoys killing people and the Game. ok. and michel de chevin willingly participated in genocidal marches through the alienage he grew up in with his elvhen mum. 

Morrigan: dirty swamp witch that i stan and also have a v big crush on. tiddies. Have a son with a GW so we can raise him with our tiddies out in the forest. she’s also white-passing, as her father was chasind and all people we’ve seen that are chasind are black. therefore, she is biracial. therefore, poc can be goths and don’t shy away from giving morrigan a darker skintone. if the devs had of been thinking, she’d have a darker skintone.

Zevran: Actually is the best romance, I think. Loves consent, therefore I will stan him so hard my skull cracks a little. Also: he is a very brown boy and if he’s white in da4 I’m seriously going to throw all canon out the fucking window. genuinely a good person who needs to be told so. 

Wynne: grandma who only likes my friends who go to church. but also super sweet and I’d rest my head on her bosom (in a platonic way omg ZEVRAN)

Sten: angry quiet boi. the bestest boi. I totally would give him a kitten for a gift and bake him cookies. Thicc softie. I think if I had DA:O and i knew how to use mods i would mod the fuck outta him. sorry.

Sha(y)le: who’s gender? idk her. See also: fuck birds and authority. pound ur ass into the ground you feathery meatbag little shits. fuck songbirds.

Dog: such a good boi. thicc. thinks Alistair is a whiny fuck and is Morrigan’s only friend. love him. he’s the cutest companion. bet.

Ohgren: honestly forgot about him bcc he’s such a shitbag. also: he could’ve been a really cool addiction recovery type but NOPE. probably would have a trump shirt in a modern au and would catcall wlw and hit mlm. no thanks.

Awakening

Anders: he acts like rlly straight but he’s so gay I can smell it. also he’s rlly cute and fun and I love him so much.

Justice: MAYBE i’M selF CONSCious OF THE twitchING. is the friend that genuinely doesn’t get dick jokes but is ur 110% ride or die.

Nathaniel Howe: honestly is sort of a white knight/neck beard a little, but it’s kind of charming with his whole velanna m’lady?? grump boi. annoying soul patch that I’d mod out SO FAST—

Sigrun: would have ROMANCED the FUCK out of her. why she even entertains the idea of fucking with ohgren makes me realize most of the writers are dumbfucks.png. peppy little emo. 12/10 would die if she kissed my cheek teasingly.

Ohgren: why. why. why. I’d have brought Shayle over. Maybe Zev? Definitely Dog.

Velanna: she was written to be an annoying feminist and you can tell but I deadass am a kindred spirit with her bcc I too am deadpan annoyed with Thedas’ general population too. love her. Would’ve loved to romance her. She’d totally be one of those who’d get all tsundere and be like “n-no i hate you” *kisses the fuckin soul out of you then blushes so hard she’s now a tomato*

Dragon Age II

Anders: fuck the cops. i don’t care. fuck the cops. (vine reference). also: do i hate him for blowing up the chantry that would eventually annul a huge collection of his people? no. read dalishious’s meta on Anders. v intriguing. didn’t they retcon the fuck out of the reported deaths too? like there was like eight Templars and Elthinia in there. Templars killed more “abominations” in a day than Anders in the game canon—

Aveline: initially thought she was fine and then realized she’s shit to my lil brother and I will fucking clap her ginger ass. See also: whorephobia isn’t a joke so fuck off with treating Isabela badly, you tit.

Bethany: sunshine. Literal sunshine. I feel my freckles grow in her presence and i love it. she’s my little baby sister and I’d slam that ogre so fuckin hard before it touched either twin.

Carver: there has to be a mod where both twins survive. I love them both to bits. My babies. carver is my bitter, angry little brother and I can relate because I too am very angry and would totally clap my own ass. hes so genuine and I don’t get the competition between Beth and Carver. Like, both are fuckin stellar in different ways. In this essay I will—

Fenris: honestly, I don’t get the general hate between him and Anders. Fenris’ main arc should’ve been a recovery arc, not drunken moping and revenge. he deserves better. give him a soft sweater instead of his spikes and let him love himself as much as I love him for MAKERS SAKE. like when you really think about their relationship, it could’ve been an eye-opener for fenris and finally some legit sympathy for anders. but we all know that if they had of teamed up that Meredith would’ve been dead before the end of Act 1 so.

Isabela: whorephobia is not a joke. oversexualizing your only appearing brown woman is so poorly written. how about we appreciate her and her lovely bosoms but also let people tease her about her heart of gold? her innate understanding of freedom? instead of just a wave of dick? please?? can we give her some pants for when she fights? can we accept that i fall for rogues who hate themselves?? fuck. also whomever draws her x femHawke x Merrill literally is after my own heart.

Merrill: my fucking babygirl MARRY ME. Fenris could’ve been her older brother type, but NO. she and Isabela should’ve been canonical gfs instead of Isabela/Fenris (no shaming the pairing tho!!). I love how she’s written as neurodivergent. V nice. Sometimes I just look her up and cry because she’s fucking everything. Also: she’s in the Dalish origin and she’s far from being white. Why did they make the most innocent/naïve character really white? hmmmm.

Sebastian: whew that boy. Would totally be that annoying Mormon at your door but you still let him in bcc he’s super sweet. Also: huge ass bible thumper and should get his head slap because you said the maker loved all his children why do you defend a complicit old hag you annoying attractive fuck—

Varric: totally is a bard and the devs couldn’t handle the idea of him being one bcc it might make him look less straight. is the only grey morality person I don’t want to fucking bash in with a fry pan. he sees people and I like that, but you totally know he’s siding with mages every time bcc him and Anders are like besties. I’m sorry. I don’t make the rules. “Professional Younger Brother”.

Tallis: I know nothing about her but she seems okay. I think she was an escaped slave and honestly? Fucking props. Spy on a shitting organization, idk what you’re doing, but your VA was that cool lesbian from SPN so I think ur okay?

Inquisition

Blackwall: Redemption Arc 101. Love him to bits. Sad dad bunwall. good man. actually atoned for his sins by actively becoming a good person. his initial design is 80% hotter im so sorry but so not.

Cassandra: was way browner in the last game. would romance the fuck outta her. I love me a butch lady who melts at my dorky recitation of poetry. BioWare is a coward. also is the worst choice for divine. but not a bad person. could use some more guidance or get her ass whipped by a dalish elf about religion or a circle mage kid whos like “yeah bud i didn’t ask for the templars to whip my ass everyday for existing.”

The Iron Bull: I think the Qunari/Vashoth were a little based off black people (the whole anti blackness thing where ppl are scared of them bcc of whatever reason) and it pisses me off that he had a weird ass dubcon thing with Dorian in banter. It doesn’t make sense— he’s an A+++ dom and would not jump straight in role play without at least checking in at first like wtf BioWare.

Cole: his mother was chasind so he’s like not supposed to be that white? or like biracial? albino? idk. love him to bits tho. He’s neurodivergent and I deadass love him. romancing him? idk. I see why ppl think it’s fuckin nasty but also like as a writer I’d age him the fuck up so fast before my inquisitor even THOUGHT about that. like idk. I’m down with him being a sweet little bro character tho. he’s a babe. love him.

Sera: had the worst fucking writer I’ve ever seen and I willingly read the twilight saga twice by a shit ass racist white lady who okay’d pedophilia. like. Fuck you Kristjanson suck your own dick you fuck. had the worst options in regards to speak to her. has a thicc case of internalized racism that literally most of the fandom just loves to use against her. my lesbian neurodivergent queen. Would write a thousand fix it fics for her. Love her to bits. im gay.

Varric: I haven’t played DA2 so i don’t get why everyone wants to romance him but like. a dwarf romance? yes please. Idk he reminds me of my uncle so I only see him as fun uncle material. Deadass should adopt Cole and Merrill and co parent with Blackwall for Sera. dads? fuck yeah. love me some wholesome, present fathers.

Dorian: is a gay stereotype that I love/hate so much. and he’s also just as bad about being a creep bcc he sexualizes qunari men (in banter). I attribute that to shit writing tho. I want to protect him from all the “omg gay best friend!” people. he’d clearly be that tired gay that wouldn’t give a diddly damn about ur het romance. wanna talk about politics? he’s ur guy/gay.

Solas: “me, an intellectual:”. I don’t hate him, but I’m not about him. He comes off as mysterious and suave (which he totally is) but I deadass would not save him from himself because he’s a racist, exclusionist eggshell. idk. not my cup of tea, but I can totally see the appeal. And he’s interesting, I’ll totally say that. “I think the Dalish are garbage but they made you” is not a compliment. it’s so offensive. and such bait for “quirky girls” which I’m no fan of. Would be Achilles and let Patroclus (Lavellan in his case) die before he realized how his pride is literally a waste of time. If he gets a redemption arc I hope Lavellan gets to slap him before getting him to teach all about ancient Arlathan and show that the Evanuris weren’t all total dicknozzles. (Aka I really have a hard time believing that they’d be slavery cult things. especially since they’ve compared elves to indigenous ppl, Jews and the Romani.)

Vivienne: it’s so racist that they’d make a black woman be pro-slavery. That’s such internalized racism. She could’ve been the cool ass “educate yourself first before you speak, fool” ice lady, but NO. the devs could’ve kept the “Templars are a tool that I proudly can mandate” and the “circles are very good education” and we. Could. Have. Romanced. Her. Like. Fuck. Sake. I just wanna give her a hug and say “love yourself omg!!” and not even in a romantic way. Also: she and morrigan should not have been so antagonistic towards each other. I’d expect them to have great respect for each other, as they both moved up in the world through hardwork and very little help. They could learn different magic from each other too and still maintain that rival respect “oh you” mood. Sidenote: probably the cooler option for Divine. if her approval is high enough she’ll love and be loyal to you forever and i can’t see her agenda being bad. she improves the circles exponentially and tells all the antis to suck her pretty painted toes.

Josephine: an actual disney princess. romanced her my first playthrough. I love her so much. she just makes me so happy. And she’s like: “Integrity, Loyalty, peace. That is what it means to be a GREY WARDEN good fucking person.” she’s the person who would let you hold her hand if you got anxious and she’d be that person who shouldered the whole group project with finesse and poise and would probably lie for everyone as to not be mean. i love josie. her and leliana’s relationship is so cute, too. whether it’s romantic or not: women supporting women.

Leliana: if you leave her hardened you must hate her. why. she becomes so against herself. i like how shes feminine and lighthearted because that’s so powerful-- to remain hopeful when the world is hopeless. (its hard to know when to soften her/harden her so i get it but. google it. she deserves to be happy and sweet again.)

Cullen: uwu war criminal with shit ass “redemption arc” that was actually a half-assed (at BEST) recovery arc. Recovery isn’t linear, it isn’t pretty, and even the broken need to be told they are wrong in order to heal right. Like I’m offended by that bullshit. I’ve had to do some mental health recovery in the past and unlearning lots of toxic ideologies— which I’m still unlearning— and it bothers me that he gets an easy pass because he’s hot. It’s one thing if you like Cullen, it’s another thing if you hold him accountable.