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kpoptrashibnida · 2 months

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Bottomless Mimosas

A/N: Looks like Soobin won the poll I made for this short one-shot. It's essentially PWP but I kind of am crap at writing smut. I love reading it! But I kind of suck at writing it. Anyway... Here y'all go! Happy reading! MINORS DNI 18+

Today was your tradition of going to brunch with your best friend, Minji. Every month, on the last Friday of the month, you two would get dropped off to your favorite brunch spot where you would take full advantage of their bottomless mimosas and your boyfriends would take turns picking you both up and dropping you off home. This tradition has been going on for a little over a year and it is something you look forward to every month. Today, however, it seems like you both lost control with the bottomless mimosas due to the hot topics of conversation.

One minute you’re in the cafe with Minji, giggling and sipping your mimosas, and the next minute you are haphazardly being loaded to the back seat of a car, a gruff male voice huffing about lack of self control and unruly heavy toddlers. You could not pinpoint who the voice belonged to, but they were being a little rude. It sounded a lot like Minji's boyfriend, Yeonjun, but you couldn't be sure. You open your eyes and you see the world spinning, making you a bit nauseous. You close them back up and lay down, your head landing on something that was firm yet soft.

“What happened?”

“They were celebrating Minji’s promotion and got carried away, apparently.”

“Oh my gosh, thank you for bringing her home.”

“I hope they get this messed up when it's your turn to drop off. I don’t need to workout today anymore, I had to carry both of them to the car and that was a workout.”

“Yeah, dead weight is no fun. Okay man, thanks, I’ll take her.”

The annoying voices finally stopped and you felt like you were floating in air, a soft warmth surrounding you. You felt like the world around you was spinning but it suddenly stopped once you felt your back touch a soft, comfy surface. The world stopped spinning and everything went silent.

You woke up to the sound of loud beeping, feeling disoriented, dizzy and your mouth feeling more dry than a cotton ball. The light outside your window was dwindling down to twilight, and you could not believe you slept the whole afternoon away. You were going to go see what the beeping noise was, but figured it was your beautiful boyfriend doing something in the kitchen. You smelled the foul stench of alcohol on you and decided it was better to take a quick shower first. You walked into the ensuite bathroom and were surprised to see a glass of water, some aspirin and a note on the counter.

Hello my sleeping beauty!

I know you are probably feeling a little sick, so here is some medicine and water. Go ahead and take a warm shower first. I placed your fluffy robe in the towel warmer. Come join me in the kitchen when you’re done.

Xoxo Your Soobinnie

You smiled at the sweet note from your amazing and thoughtful boyfriend. You took a quick but thorough shower, brushed your teeth and slipped into a fresh and comfortable pj set. You stepped out of the bedroom, eager to see and hug your cute boyfriend.

“There she is!” Soobin exclaimed, placing a pizza on the cooling rack.

“What are you doing baby?” You asked, looking at the food, drinks and cozy set up in the living room.

“Well, I figured you were going to be hungry when you woke up, so I made some pizza and thought we could have a cozy night in and watch some movies.” He explained, cutting the pizza into slices.

“Aww Soobin! You didn’t have to go through all this trouble.” You cooed, making your way to your giant boyfriend.

“It’s no trouble at all my love. I love doing the things you like.” He wrapped you in his strong arms and held you tightly, placing a soft kiss on your forehead.

“Now let’s go eat before the pizza gets cold. I have queued the movie already.” He said as he grabbed the pizza tray and made his way to the living room.

“Do you mind bringing the sodas with you?” He said over his shoulder.

You absentmindedly grabbed the drinks as you watched him walk away, a slow burn traveling your body. Soobin had always been so kind and attentive, so this behavior was nothing new. What was new for you was having such a loving and attentive partner. You didn’t date much before dating Soobin, but the one other serious relationship you had heavily lacked in comparison to the one you have with Soobin. That warmth traveled from your heart down to your lower belly, a slow ache burning. It didn’t help that he also looked extremely good in the gray sweatpants and black t-shirt he was wearing.

You took your place next to him on the couch and ate your pizza in silence as you tried to pay attention to the movie he decided to play. Of course, he just had to play ‘The Devil Wears Prada’, knowing it is your all-time favorite comfort movie that you can watch over and over without ever getting bored of it. The warmth you felt grew stronger as he wrapped his arm around you once you both had finished eating, his big hand softly caressing your arm absentmindedly. He was so into the movie, oblivious to the fact that you were burning for him.

You decided you had enough, you needed him this instant.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, confused as to why you stopped your favorite movie.

You sat up at the same time, looking into his concerned eyes. Those beautiful eyes of his were roaming your face, looking for a clue as to why you turned off the movie.

You said nothing however, but instead, you leaned into him and placed a deep kiss on his lips.

He was taken slightly aback by the suddenness of the kiss but he did not shy away, returning it enthusiastically, albeit, a bit confused at the change in mood.

You needed to be closer to him, so you straddled his lap, wrapping your arms around his neck, bringing him closer to you. He wrapped his arms around your waist, enjoying the feeling of your soft body pressed against his. He did not know what brought on this mood but he was certainly not complaining. His tongue explored your mouth as his hands explored your body; going under your baggy shirt and caressing the soft skin of your sides and lower back. You sighed at the feeling and decided that it wasn’t fair he was the only one touching skin.

You slightly pull away from the kiss, his lips chasing yours in protest. You pull his shirt off of his broad frame, your eyes drinking in the glorious view in front of you. His body definition was testament of how active he was, and he wore it well. Your mouth watered at the sight and you quickly got rid of your pajama top, Soobin’s eyes widening at the sudden motion. You wrapped yourself around him again and connected your lips in a desperate kiss, your arms wrapping around his neck one more time and your hips undulating on top of his.

He grunted at the movement of your hips, a shudder going down his spine as he felt the pleasure start and his member harden. He traveled his hands from your waist, up in between your bodies, softly grasping your breasts. The heavy globes were soft in his slightly calloused hands, he couldn’t help himself but give them soft squeezes, earning a sigh from you. He removed his lips from yours and traveled down your neck, leaving a wet trail behind. Your body shuddered the second he took a nipple in his mouth, your back arching in pleasure. He tweaked the nipple of your other breast while his mouth worked on the other one. The pleasure was electric, sending shivers down your spine. You grind your hips harder against his, the pleasure becoming too much.

“Soobin, I want more.” You plea, your neediness evident. He was making you feel good but it wasn’t what you were after.

“What my baby wants, she gets.” He murmured seductively in your ear.

Next thing you know, he flips you over and places your back on the couch, his large frame hovering above you. He removes your pajama bottoms and smiles at the sight of your bare core.

“No panties? Seems like this attack was premeditated.” He teases smugly, salivating at the sight of your glistening core.

“No it wasn’t. I guess I just forgot.” You said innocently but he wasn’t buying. You didn’t realize you forgot to put on underwear, maybe subconsciously you knew how this night was going to end.

“You look so cute when you lie.” Soobin teased, the playful smile quickly turning into a cynical smirk the moment he started to lower his head to your glistening core.

“Wait! No, Soobin, I don’t want that.” You placed a hand on his shoulder, stopping him from going down. He raised an eyebrow in question since you normally loved it when he went down on you. “I want to feel you inside me now.” You said, not caring if you sounded desperate. It was a feeling your body wanted, no, needed.

“Who am I to deny my baby’s request?” Soobin teased, his member throbbing at your words.

He retracted from your body and in one quick motion he removed your pajama bottoms. The slight breeze made your core clench and he groaned at the beautiful sight. He quickly rid himself of his sweats, his member springing out enthusiastically. You gulped at the sight of the hard remember, his tip dripping in precum. Soobin’s fingers entered you slowly, coaxing your core to open up. You moaned at the feeling, the squelching noises bringing a slight blush to your face. You felt the pleasure building up, the pressure in your lower belly growing by the second. You moaned loudly as your hips undulated because of the pleasure Soobin’s fingers were bringing. As soon as you felt like the pressure was going to snap, Soobin retracted his fingers from your core, earning a whine from you. The whine stopped the second you watched Soobin pump his member a couple of times, bringing it closer to your aching wet core.

“Are you ready baby?” Soobin coos, earning an eager nod from you.

He chuckled at your reaction, tapping the head of his dick twice on your clit before finally entering you in one swift thrust.

You gasped at the intrusion, the stretch of his full member feeling deliciously tight. Your arms went around Soobin’s shoulders, bringing his head down to yours and encasing his lips in a heated kiss. His tongue explored your mouth in desperation, his body moving slowly on top of yours. You moaned in his mouth, the sensation of his dick slowly thrusting inside you making your head spin. But it wasn’t enough. You needed more.

“Faster.” You pant, detaching from his hungry mouth.

Soobin never missed a beat and he started thrusting faster, placing one hand by your head and using his other hand to grab your left thigh and hiking it up on his waist. The difference in angle had you moaning his name, back arching off the couch. He licked a strip up your neck, nibbling harsh kisses along the skin of your neck. The sensations were overwhelming your body, making it move to be as close as possible to Soobin. Your fingernails dug into his back and he pistoned his member inside of you, his tip always hitting the spot inside that made you see stars.

He could tell you were near your end by the way you moaned and clung to him, your velvety pussy feeling like a vice grip every time you clenched around his member.

He sat up, placing his right foot on the floor, his left leg bent on the couch. He grabbed your hips and slid you down closer to his member, holding you by the waist as he continued to thrust into you at a rhythmic pace.

“Oh god Soobin, right there.” You moaned in complete pleasure, your hands traveling to your breasts and squeezing them. You were so so close. You just needed a bit more.

Thankfully, Soobin knew you like the back of his hand and he knew exactly what he needed to do to push you over the edge.

He adjusted himself so he could bend down and take your left nipple in his mouth, licking and biting the nub until it got hard. You moaned at the sensation, the warm feeling pooling in your lower belly. He then moved his right hand in between your bodies and began to rub firm circles on your clit, making you gasp at the onslaught of sensations.

The gasp quickly turned into a moan and your hips began rocking harder against his, the warmth pooling in your lower belly even faster.

Soobin continues his sweet attack on your body; his dick pistoning you in a pace that you do not know how he could keep up, his tongue working your nipples and his firm fingers rubbing your sensitive clit. All at once these sensations overwhelmed you and you were about to snap.

“Soobin stop. Stop!” You pleaded, but he knew better. Your pleas for him to stop were nothing more than you asking him to make you finish. You tried to remove his head from your breasts, but he didn’t budge. You tried to remove his fingers from your clit, but he was unmovable.

Your heart started to race faster, your hips grinding against his. Yes, you pleaded with him to stop but you didn’t actually want him to. He gave a few more hard thrusts into your sopping core, his finger pressing harder circles against your clit and one hard bite on your nipple and you finally came.

“Oh god yes!” You shrieked, your body convulsing against his.

He thrusted a few more times, overstimulating your sensitive pussy. You clenching around him finally brought him to his climax, his warm hot cum shooting inside of you, making your body shake in pleasure.

He slowly finished pumping his cum in you, watching the way your body slightly trembled with the aftershocks of your pleasure.

He was about to pull out of you when you suddenly grabbed his arm and stopped his movements.

“Wait! This couch is almost brand new, we can’t get it dirty.” You reasoned, not wanting to have to take out a cum stain from another couch.

“You got it.’ he said, carefully picking you up with his member still inside of you.

“How are you still hard?” You ask in shock, clutching to his body as he walks you both to your bathroom.

“Because my baby is so sexy, I’m always ready for you.” He teased, giving one slight thrust into you.

“Stop that.” You gasped at the overstimulation.

He doesn’t do it again but he starts to slowly chuckle, his trembling body making him thrust in you slightly.

“What’s so funny?”” You inquire.

“Nothing… It’s just that your day started with bottomless mimosas… and now you’re bottomless after mimosas.” He laughed then, finding his joke hilarious.

You gave him a small chuckle and rolled your eyes. “You’re lucky you’re cute.” You say, giving him a small peck on the nose.

“I’m not cute, I’m sexy.” He argues, earning a laugh from you.

“Okay yeah, you are sexy.” You agreed, your heart feeling full of love for your sexy boyfriend.

#soobin smut #soobin oneshot #soobin boyfriend #soobin x reader #txt smut #txt hard hours

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forever-fixating · 2 months

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RWRB Appreciation Month Bingo: Platonic Dynamic

For @rwrbsource and @rwrbmovie's RWRB Appreciation Month Bingo: Platonic Dynamic

Platonic Dynamic: Henry and Pez

Author's Note: Henry and Pez have such an interesting friendship in the book, and I'm so sad we didn't get to see more of it in the movie. (Mayhaps something to elaborate on in the sequel?) I wanted to write this little moment because I believe that Pez was a major support for Henry when grappling with the aftermath of Arthur's death. Shoutout to Pez, you are a real one, darling! This bit is quite angsty, so maybe have a hanky handy?

Pez Okonjo considered himself to be a fairly emotionally intelligent person for his age. His parents raised him to always extend grace and understanding to people because he could never know what they might be going through. But, as he stood outside his dorm room, listening to his best friend struggle not to break down over the phone, he couldn't muster a single mite of grace or understanding for one Catherine Fox Mountchristen-Windsor.

"A-are you sure she isn't available?" Henry was saying. "I-It's just...things are really hard for me right now, and I wanted to-"

Henry's voice fell silent, no doubt listening to the laundry list of excuses and platitudes Catherine's equerries had on hand ever since Arthur's death. Pez tried to be understanding. Really, he did. He had no idea what it must be like to lose the love of one's life. But, in the past few months, especially after the nightclub incident with Bea, Pez had a front-row seat to what it was like to lose a parent.

Or two, Pez thought bitterly.

He listened to Henry mumble something. I swear to God Almighty, if he is fucking apologizing, Pez fumed silently. But anger wasn't what Henry needed at that moment. So, after a minute or two, he knocked on the door cheerfully and breezed in, saying, "So, I know you wanted falafel tonight, but our favorite stand closed early. I got us Indian instead. There's a few different options for you to choose from, plus leftovers for tomorrow!"

Pez pretended not to notice his friend's redden, glassy eyes or the quick swipes he made over his cheeks. Ever since Arthur, it was a delicate tightrope act of knowing when to push and when to let things be. Tonight was the latter.

Henry looked at the bulging bag of food Pez set down on the end of his bed and asked, "Wh-what happened with Cassandra? I thought you two had a date tonight."

Pez sighed, shucking off his jacket. "Can you believe she had the nerve, the gall, nay! The temerity to cancel on me? She said she had food poisoning or some such tosh, but then tell me why I saw her out with her girlfriends at the pub? Women, beautiful, beguiling creatures, though they may be, can be so fickle."

Henry managed a laugh, a small victory in Pez's eyes. "Oh crumbs, Pez. You haven't had much luck lately. That's what? The sixth cancellation in so many weeks?"

"Yes, you needn't rub in it, Haz!"

Of course, it was a lie. In truth, Pez did the canceling, as he had with most of the others who asked him out recently. The ladies were disappointed (because how could they not be?) but understood when Pez explained why. Part of him figured Henry knew the stories were a scam. But Pez couldn't fathom the idea of partying when his best mate was alone with his dark thoughts.

Pez sat down next to Henry, who asked, "Would you like to watch more Doctor Who?"

"Yes, please!" Pez said, digging into the bag and arranging the takeaway containers like a mini-buffet. "I believe we left off right before Ms. Donna Noble was set to make her debut?"

Henry nodded, his spirits lifting. "She's absolutely brilliant, I'm certain you'll love her. I love the dynamic she has with Ten. Oy, Space Man!"

Pez laughed and took a bite of a samosa while Henry queued up the episode on his laptop. As the opening credits played, Henry laid his head on Pez's shoulder.

"Thank you."

Pez rested his cheeks on limp, blonde hair. "You're welcome, Haz."

A/N— Sorry, not sorry, but if the fandom is going to rake Ellen over the coals for her shortcomings with Alex, there needs to be a lot more discussion about Catherine. True, she lost her husband, but Phillip, Bea, and Henry lost their father. She should have been there for them. Comment below with your thoughts! I promise the next ficlet will be decidedly less angsty.

Check out this post and join the fun in celebrating the one-year anniversary of our little romcom that could being released!

#rwrbmonth #red white and royal blue #firstprince #henry fox mountchristen windsor #pez okonjo #alex claremont diaz #rwrb #rwrb movie

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fanficshiddles · 1 year

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Dirty Little Secret, Part 1/2

Summary: Tina is super excited to go see her favourite band at last. But Loki has something more than just seeing and meeting them in store for her.

Note/Warnings: Daddy Dom!Loki, Dom!Chris Motionless, sub!OFC, threesome.

‘Lokiiiiiiiiii…’

Loki smirked and put his book down, he turned his head towards the door to see his girl, Tina, coming sheepishly into the room.

‘Yes, Tinaaaaaaa.’ He responded.

‘You know you love me, right?’ She fluttered her eyelashes at him as she crawled onto his lap and straddled over him.

He slipped his hands around her back to hold her in place. ‘Why do I get the feeling you’re after something?’

‘You know my most favourite band ever?’

‘Mmmhmm… Motionless, right?’ Loki narrowed his eyes at her.

‘Yeah… Well, they’re coming to the UK on tour soon. And I’ve loved them for over ten years, but am yet to see them live.’ Tina started curling a bit of Loki’s hair around her finger.

‘Of course we will go see them.’ Loki smiled.

Tina let out a big squeal. ‘Thank you thank you!’

‘When is it?’ Loki asked.

‘Next month, the twenty second.’ She grinned.

Loki frowned. ‘Ohh… that could be a problem.’

Tina’s face dropped. ‘What? Why?’

‘You see, I already got us tickets to a show… on that same night.’ Loki said with regret in his voice as he pulled his phone out of his pocket and brought up an email to show her.

Tina felt like her heart was breaking, such a sudden high at the thought of seeing them to then be brought down so quickly… But as she tried to hold back tears of disappointment, she looked at the email and squinted her eyes. Her heart started racing again and the excitement returned.

‘YOUALREADYGOTTICKETSOHMYGODWHAT!’ She screeched.

Loki threw his head back with laughter. ‘I know you too well, pet. As soon as they went on sale this morning, I got them.’

‘Thank you so much! I can’t believe it!’ Tina couldn’t stop smiling as she wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly.

Loki rubbed her back under her top and nuzzled into her hair. ‘I know how much you’ve wanted to see them, and how unlucky you’ve been to miss them each time they come here. No way I would let you miss out this time, love.’

Tina squeezed him extra tight, then leaned back and narrowed her eyes at him.

‘Can’t believe you made me think I was going to miss them again.’ She nudged at his chest.

‘Mischief is my middle name.’ Loki winked at her.

Time flew in and before she knew it, Tina was on her way to the concert to finally see her favourite band. She had been buzzing with excitement pretty much from the day Loki had gotten them tickets, but now in the taxi she could barely keep still.

Loki reached over and put his hand on her knee, giving her a squeeze. ‘They better be good, or your ass is on the line.’ He rumbled low to her, making her giggle.

‘Don’t worry, they are. I know you like them too, I’ve caught you humming along to them plenty.’ Tina said as she put her hand on top of his.

Loki couldn’t deny that, as he had heard her play them enough over the last few years of them being together. He knew quite a lot of their songs by heart now, even had some on his Spotify. Though he’d never admit it to her, since in the first place he had been adamant about not liking that sort of music.

‘Are we going to be queuing to get a good spot, or going for food, since we’re arriving few hours before doors?’ She asked him when they were a few minutes away.

‘Neither.’ Loki said, looking out the window.

Tina raised an eyebrow. ‘What are we doing then?’

He turned to face her with a big grin on his face. ‘Well, I might have connections... So I mayyyy have managed to get us backstage passes to get to meet the band before the show.’

Loki hadn’t been sure what to expect when he told her, but the look of utter horror on her face wasn’t quite the reaction he had been expecting.

‘Wh… what? You’re kidding… right?’ She stuttered, sounding rather scared.

‘I assure you, pet. While I am the God of lies, I am not lying this time.’ He smirked.

Tina’s eyes were wide and Loki just couldn’t get a good read of how she was feeling about it. Apart from clearly being scared at the thought.

‘Tina, is there something you’re not telling me? I thought you’d be delighted, but your face certainly doesn’t seem to be.’ He said as he gave her knee a gentle squeeze.

‘I… I am… But I…’ She couldn’t get her words out properly. ‘I’m going… I’m going to meet Chris Motionless?’

Loki nodded. But he noticed her face flushed red too.

‘Wait… Do you have a crush on him?’ He raised his eyebrow at her.

‘What? No… don’t be ridiculous.’ She laughed nervously.

Loki smirked. He knew she did, and he had known for years. He remembered when they first met, she had said as much when they were talking about celebrity crushes. But she clearly had forgotten she’d already told him so.

‘You’re lying, pet. If you carry on lying to me, you know you’re going to end up with a red bottom.’ He growled low, narrowing his eyes at her.

She blushed even harder and squirmed a bit at the thought. He had a mean swing when he wanted to dish out punishments.

He moved closer to her and gripped her chin, making her look at him. ‘No lying to Daddy, little one.’ He rumbled, making her legs turn to jelly with that tone.

‘Don’t.’ She whined, but they both knew she had already lost. When he used that tone and went into Daddy Dom mode, she was always putty in his hands.

‘I’m waiting for the truth.’ He said firmly.

‘Ok… I do. But it’s just for his voice.’ She laughed nervously.

‘Uh huh, sure it is.’ Loki chuckled. ‘Is it ‘cause he looks like me?’

‘Just because of the long black hair you think that makes you look like him?’ It was her turn to raise an eyebrow at him as he sat back and chuckled.

‘We are more alike than you think.’ He winked at her.

‘What the hell is that supposed to mean?’

‘Ah, here we are.’ He said as the car stopped just down the road from the venue. He hopped out and put his hand out for her.

She rolled her eyes and took it, knowing she wasn’t going to get an answer from him. He was in one of those playful and teasing moods, which she wasn’t sure if it was a good thing or not considering where they were about to go.

The stark realisation of who she was about to meet hit her like a ton of bricks as they entered the venue with no problem once Loki gave his name at the door to security. He felt her grip on his hand tighten with every step they took, more so when they could hear them sound checking.

Tina’s face lit up completely when they stepped into the stage room and the band was on stage warming up. Chris’ voice bellowed throughout the place. She was in awe.

When the band finished, Chris spotted them and waved them over. But Tina didn’t budge.

‘Are you coming closer or are you just going to stand here like a deer in the headlights?’ Loki asked.

She said nothing, just glanced at Loki with wide eyes. He smirked and put his hand at her lower back to guide her forward.

It reminded him of when he first met her, she had been rather speechless and very shy then too. She barely said a word to him for weeks, until he asked her out on a date and she had no option but to speak to him.

Chris hopped down from stage with a warm smile as they approached. Or more, as Loki approached pushing poor Tina along next to him.

‘Hey, you must be Tina?’ Chris put his hand out towards her.

Tina stared at his hand for a moment as if it was going to bite her before she took it with a shaky hand and managed to squeak out a hi.

Chris brought her hand up so he could kiss the back of it, making her blush furiously. But even more so with what he said. ‘Loki, you never told me how pretty your girl is!’

‘The prettiest of them all.’ Loki gloated proudly.

Tina glanced at Loki briefly, shocked and wanting to know what that meant. Had he met him before? He knew their names and he was speaking as if they had. But she was so starstruck she was struggling to even think straight.

‘I hear you’ve been a fan for quite a while?’ Chris smiled warmly at her.

‘I… yeah… sorry… I didn’t know I was getting to meet you until last minute.’ She rambled out quietly.

‘That’s alright.’ Chris chuckled. ‘Would you like a photo?’

‘Please!’ Tina said excitedly.

Her hands were shaking as she pulled out her phone to hand to Loki. As she moved closer to Chris, he put his arm around her waist and pulled her in close to him. Which surprised her, and she was also surprised that Loki wasn’t glaring daggers at him. He was usually rather possessive over her.

‘Thank you!’ She squeaked out once Loki took the picture.

‘You’re very welcome. Do you want to come meet the others? They’re not as good looking as me, but they’re alright.’ Chris teased as he motioned to backstage.

Tina nodded eagerly. Loki put his arm around her waist and they followed Chris through the back. She was so exited to meet everyone, and got pictures with them all, including a group picture. One with Loki and one without. She was shy around them all, but especially around Chris. So she was kind of relieved when they had to leave to go find a good spot for the show now doors had opened.

‘What was all that about? It’s like they know you already?’ She asked Loki once he got them drinks and they got a good standing spot at the side near the front.

Loki chuckled and draped his arm around her shoulder. ‘Did you really think I’d let you hang out with a bunch of guys that I didn’t know? Of course I was going to check them out first.’ He winked at her.

Tina just gaped at him for a moment before she got her thoughts together.

‘Wha… What? When did you meet them? And that was hardly hanging out.’ Tina laughed a little.

‘Last night for a few drinks. You really think that’s it over? Oh no, after the show we’re going for a drink with Chris.’ Loki grinned.

Tina’s eyes widened as she looked up at him and her mouth opened.

‘Close your mouth, pet. You’ll catch flies.’ Loki smirked and pushed her chin up.

The show began and they enjoyed the support bands then of course Motionless In White themselves. Tina was ecstatic to finally be seeing them, she sang and screamed along to every word. She’d completely forgotten about Loki’s plan of meeting Chris afterwards, until Loki took her hand and they headed round the back of the venue instead of getting a taxi at the end.

‘Are we seriously going for a drink with Chris?’ Tina asked nervously.

‘Yep… do you not want to?’ Loki asked as he stopped walking for a moment.

‘I… I do. I just, wasn’t expecting it.’ She shrugged.

Loki smiled and stroked her cheek with the back of his hand. ‘You’re so adorable when you’re shy. I remember when we first met, how shy you were with me.’

She blushed and looked down.

‘Just like that.’ He chuckled and gripped her chin, tilting her face upwards so he could kiss her softly on the lips.

They ended up in one of the local pubs with Chris, Tina hadn’t really said much, she was still in a bit of disbelief. And being at a cosy booth table with both him and Loki was making her felt a bit antsy… in the good kind of way. She was quite happy just hearing them talk and watching them.

‘It was a great show.’ Loki commented as they were speaking about said show.

‘Thanks, it’s always good fun in this city.’ Chris smiled. ‘Any song we missed out that you’d have liked to hear?’ He asked Tina.

‘Oh, uhmm… I love all your songs, no bad ones.’ Tina shrugged.

Loki elbowed her slightly. ‘They didn’t play your favourite though.’

Tina’s eyes widened a bit and she shot Loki a glare, or an attempted glare anyway.

‘Oh, what’s your favourite?’ Chris asked.

Tina felt like her entire face was on fire. She could kill Loki for saying that, and the smug look on his face as he took a sip of his drink let her know that he knew exactly what he was doing.

‘Wasp…’ Tina said quietly as she tried to hide behind her drink.

Chris grinned. ‘No need to be embarrassed about that song choice. It’s a good one, if I may say so myself.’

‘Indeed. Made love to it quite often, haven’t we, pet?’ Loki said casually.

Tina’s eyes almost exploded as she looked at Loki. ‘Loki!’ She whined.

‘Though it is hatefuck and rats that really gets you going, more so when you’re in a bratty mood.’ He commented.

‘Oh my god.’ Tina put her hands over her face and sank further down in her seat to try and hide.

‘Pfft, surely not. I can’t imagine you being bratty.’ Chris said, making her try to hide even more as she leaned into Loki and hid her face against his arm.

The guys both chuckled at her reaction as she just groaned.

‘Aww, baby girl. Am I embarrassing you?’ Loki cooed and put his arm around her.

‘You know you are.’ She murmured against him.

‘That’s what Daddy’s do best.’ Chris said.

Tina froze at hearing him say that. Loki felt her whole body go slightly rigid. He looked at Chris with a smirk.

‘This is so not fair, you’re ganging up on me now!’ Tina said as she sat up straight and glanced at them both, her cheeks bright red. Loki thought she might actually explode at any moment.

‘You think this is us ganging up on you?’ Loki raised an eyebrow. ‘We can do that properly, if that’s what you desire.’ He took a last big swig of his drink.

‘Wh… what do you mean?’ She asked, glancing at Chris who bit his lip and winked at her. She looked back at Loki, who had that mischievous look in his eyes.

‘Well, Chris and I had a little chat last night. He’s single right now, and I know he’d be more than able to handle you for a night.’ Loki said suggestively.

Tina was so shocked at what he was implying, she never thought in a million years that Loki would actually be willing to share her with another man. Even for one night.

‘If you want to, of course.’ Chris interjected with.

‘Of course.’ Loki nodded. ‘But I get the feeling you’ve already been thinking about that situation, having both of us in bed with you. If I put my hand inside your knickers right now, I know I’ll find you aroused.’ Loki purred.

Tina squirmed on the spot, he wasn’t wrong. But she wasn’t sure how she would cope with both of them, their teasing was already bad enough. She wouldn’t survive it for sure.

Loki stood and so did Chris. They looked at her, waiting for an answer. Chris put his hand out towards her.

‘I’ll play gentle… at first anyway.’ He grinned.

Tina’s heart was racing as she looked at Loki. He smiled softly and nodded once, giving his ok. It wasn’t a prank, this was real and he was giving her permission.

She took Chris’ hand and he helped her up to her feet. His grip was strong, not much different from Loki’s, really. She was glad he’d taken her hand, as her legs felt like utter jelly and she wasn’t sure if she’d be able to walk otherwise.

‘There’s a hotel down the road, we’ll go there.’ Loki suggested as they left the pub. He fell into step at the other side of Tina and took her hand too.

She took a moment to look at Loki and then at Chris, in utter disbelief about what was happening with them both. She did think they looked pretty similar actually, with the long black hair, tall, strong… Though of course Chris with his piercings and tattoos was a big difference. And Loki being a God.

Loki could tell she was excited yet nervous at the same time, he rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand to soothe her and made her skin tingle.

They entered the hotel and Loki went over to reception to organise a room. Chris and Tina waited by the lift. He turned to face her and cupped her cheek, gently brushing his thumb over her skin.

‘Are you going to be a good girl tonight?’

Her knees almost gave out on her as she nodded quickly.

Loki returned swiftly with a keycard, they motioned for her to go first into the lift. Both gentlemen. They were on the third floor, and on the lift up Tina got more excited and aroused with every second that passed. With their teasing, it certainly didn’t help.

‘I must say, I am really looking forward to this.’ Chris said as he slid his hand up her back to the back of her neck, giving her a little squeeze and then stroking her skin. Making her tremble.

‘So you should be, Tina is an absolute delight to play with.’ Loki grinned and stroked her hair.

She closed her eyes and just completely melted under both their touch.

‘Oh I bet she is.’ Chris rumbled.

‘I was about to say if she gets nervous or a bit bratty, the back of her neck is her sweet spot but I see you’ve already found it.’ Loki chuckled.

Tina heard what they were saying but she was already deep in subspace she couldn’t respond.

‘Aww, I think she’s going to be a good girl tonight.’ Chris hummed, still stroking the back of her neck.

‘Mmmhmm.’ Tina nodded slightly, blissed out. Making the guys chuckle.

Chris kept his hand at the back of her neck as they reached their floor. Loki took her hand and guided them to their room. Loki pushed the door opened then stood to the side, motioning for them to go first.

‘Let the fun begin.’ He growled.

#tom hiddleston #loki #Loki x ofc #chris motionless x ofc #dirty little secret

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lestatslestits · 2 months

Note

Hey! I don't mean to be rude, but I was wondering what your take on the allegations against Neil Gaiman is? (Especially considering more women came out about their experiences recently, including on a less controversial podcast) You still post good omens stuff and I haven't seen you say anything about them...(at least upon searching his name, though the Tumblr search function IS broken) Tbh it's none of my business and I should probably just silently unfollow you but I wanted to hear what you think because it's hard not to assume things and I'd rather not. So like. Feel free to ignore this if you want

Hi, Anon

My take is fuck him. My take is that it sucks that the news was originally broken by journalists whose clear conservative ties obscured the conversation. To be clear, I believe the victims and, once more, fuck Gaiman. But the conservative tendency to associate trans people and the people who publicly support them with predatory behavior did impact the credibility of the journalists involved, which sucks. I think the situation becomes clearer as more allegations pop up, but the news cycle being what it is, some people are going to miss even seeing that update. The only reason I even know about them is because the conversation popped up on a horror literature subreddit I follow.

With all of that said, my relationship with Good Omens is my own. I’ve been a fan of the book for something like 12 years, and it’s a book with two authors, one of which is not alive to see these allegations or make a statement. It was a part of my journey to deconstructing my fundamentalist upbringing. It was a part of how I met my incredible partner. I myself am still unpacking my relationship with it in light of this news—kind of like I had to unpack my relationship with it when it had the fingerprints of the most toxic and emotionally damaging relationship I’ve ever been a part of all over it in my mind. If I come up with the perfect solution to having a complex relationship with media made by fucked up human beings I will publish my results and make a gazillion dollars. Until then, I’ll work it out as best I can on my own. As will you, as will everyone.

I could list out all of my triggers and traumas and day-to-day struggles to explain why I may or may not have commented at the time (look, I’ve slept since then, I don’t remember if I did or not). But I’m not gonna do that. I could explain that talking about it would have been triggering to me at the time (and, coincidentally, is potentially triggering to me now, but I’m addressing it anyways). I could point out that my queue is hundreds of posts long, that a lot (not all, but a lot) of the posts you’re seeing are queued, and I don’t have the time or energy to weed through everything I queued months and months ago back when it was a thousand posts long.

But ultimately I can’t actually stop you from making assumptions you’re going to make or not make, I can just speak to you honestly. Fuck Gaiman. Fuck Joss Whedon (whose Buffy series I’m a fan of). Fuck Anne Rice for a list of things that would be longer than your ask. Fuck people who use money, fame, or a position of power to hurt others. That’s my take.

For your own peace, anon, I recommend curating your space in a way that makes you feel comfortable. If that means unfollowing me or not, I wish you the best.

#not tagging this but if you (general) need cw tags lmk and i’ll add them #i have a pretty bad headache so my brain is not generating tags right now

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egs-n-bacon · 1 year

Note

Oh ask and you shall certainly receive!!

I would love it if you’re able to write a stu macher x fem!reader where the reader is Randy’s sister and randy (a protective older brother) introduced her and stu when her and randy are both working at the video store and stu falls head over heels and cherishes the ground she walks on! Then eventually she blurts out her feelings for him when they get to be better friends where he obviously admits to her that he’s head over heels and it ends in them becoming official and ending smut? (If you write smut that it!)

Ooooo yes, this is so fun!!

tags: friends to lovers, smut, mutual pining, soft sex, switch!reader, switch!stu, riding, hickeys, oral sex r!receiving

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

You loved working at the video store. You loved working there for two different reasons. You got to talk about movies all day, giving out recommendations, the other reason is you got to spend time with Stu.

You and Stu were a grade apart, so you didn't spend much time together at school. Which makes the video store perfect.

Your brother introduced you to him last school year. He was so nice, and he treated you with the utmost kindness. He fell head over heels immediately, going to the video store more than he ever has.

Randy caught on pretty quick, and when he asked if you liked Stu and you said yes, he panicked. You just told him that it was fine and Stu didn't even like you, to which he agreed, trying to split a wedge between you too.

Now, here you are two months later working and pining after Stu.

°•☆•°

You were listening to your brother groan on about Stu being too old and not good enough for you.

"He's a weirdo, you can find someone better." You just kept pushing your cart and putting movies back.

"If he's that weird, why did you introduce us, Randy?" You bickered

Clearly stumping your brother, he turned and started working on a disorganized shelf. Just as you began to push your cart further down the aisle, the bell on the front door rung.

"Speak of the devil." Randy announced, rolling his eyes.

Stu immediately hurried over to you. "Hey, Stu." You said, gazing into his eyes. A small smile graced your lips, being around him made you so happy.

Stu stared down at you, eyes full of admiration. You stared at each other for a little too long for it to be normal.

Next to you was your brother, standing impatiently. An audible groan left his mouth as he walked away. You looked back at Stu and shared a look of annoyance.

"So you and me, tonight, Texas Chainsaw Massacre?" Stu said, leaning on the shelf stacked with different movies.

"Yess, that sounds amazing." You said smiling at him.

"all right ill meet you there." Stu said with a wink before walking out the front door.

°•☆•°

you walked up the driveway to Stus house already feeling your stomach doing summersaults. you walked up the pair of steps and knocked on the painted door. it took no time before Stu opened the door greeting you with a rib crushing hug.

you guys went and sat down on the couch, the movie was already queued up just waiting to play. he pressed play and the film started playing. you both had already watched this, so you weren't paying as much attention. you were talking more than anything.

"so, what was your first impression of me?" Stu questioned.

"well, probably, wow this guy is so hot and tall!" you said half joking. when you looked back at him his eyes were looking into yours. he leaned in and pressed his lips to yours, you let him. after all you were borderline in love with him so why wouldn't you? then you remembered.

"Stu, Stu stop." you said a slight look of sadness on your face. "what's wrong?" "Stu i like you, like a lot and i wont kiss you if you don't actually want me." you said staring into his eyes before you could dwell in the sadness he spoke up. "i do like you, i've liked you since we first met." a shocked look spread across your face, you couldn't believe it.

"really!?" you asked "yes!" he said matching your tone. you dove forward, smashing your lips into his. you pushed him back, now straddling his waist. you continued to kiss him pushing your tounge into his mouth.

you began to slide your tounge around his mouth. you let out soft, quiet whimper. you could tell he liked the noise by the way he bucked his hips into you. you stopped kissing him, trying to catch your breath, after you kissed down his cheek to his neck. you covered his neck in lipstick marks. he was groaning in your ear and squirming.

you then sat up taking in deep breath as a way to calm yourself. he grabbed the hem of your top and began pulling it over your head. after he discarded your shirt he reached behind you and unhooked your bra. the cold night air caused your nipples to harden. he leaned up and put his lips around your right breast, sucking and teasing.

he left hickeys up and down your chest, the marks slowly turning purple. you let out multiple high-pitched moans. you pleasure going through your body was like no other, just because it was Stu doing it. he then sat up and started to take off his clothes, you soon followed until you were both completely naked.

"you're so beautiful." he whispered to you. he quickly flipped you both over, him now on top of you. he began to slide down the couch until he was face to face with your pussy.

"you're dripping baby, all for me?" just him saying that made you gush even more. he sunk his head down between your thighs, kissing up to your sopping cunt. he licked a stripe up you, the feeling sending shocks straight to your core. he began to suck on your clit, moaning softly as he did so.

you ran your fingers through his hair, tugging slightly. he let out a perfect noise, in between a moan and a whimper. you felt a knot grow in your stomach, your legs stared to quiver. you squeezed Stus head between your thighs, almost suffocating him.

suddenly waves upon waves of pleasure washed over you. you let out a series of moans and whimpers. after a few minutes you calmed down. you pulled Stu up, grabbing his shoulders and flipping him over onto his back. he looked up at you and smiled, you smiled back.

you reached down and aligned his cock with your entrance. you slowly sunk down, you both simultaneously let out a groan of pleasure. you took a few seconds before bouncing your hips. the feeling of him inside you was amazing, he was hitting all the right spots.

he grabbed your hips, assisting you as your bounces became sloppy due to your impending orgasm. you kept slamming your hips against his, letting out moans that the neighbors probably heard. you felt a familiar feeling pool in your stomach.

you came before he did, and he continued to chase his high, slamming his cock into your sensitive cunt. he came shortly after, letting out the most vulgar noises and you enjoyed every second of it. you collapsed onto his chest, his member exiting you.

you layed next to him just enjoying the afterglow, before you heard Stu speak. "will you be my girlfriend?" you looked at him, knowing the answer was already obvious. "yes!" you said before connecting your lips to his in a loving kiss.

----

I hope you liked it!!!

#scream x reader #scream headcanons #scream franchise #x reader #fanfiction #stu macher x reader #stu macher #randy marsh

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miaisagirllover · 11 months

Text

who you gonna call? (ghostbusters!)

here is my @bylerween2023 day 1 fic for ghosts and hauntings. it’ll be on ao3 soon as this is a queued post. basically byler and lumax catching a ghost in hopper’s cabin.

Lucas Sinclair didn’t think he’d be spending his Halloween at the police chief’s dingy old cabin, trying to capture a ghost (and go on a subtle double date). But here he was, at 10pm in the middle of the night with a torch in his left hand, and his trusty wrist-rocket in the other.

“I don’t even know why you took that dumb slingshot with you,” Max asked “If there’s actually a ghost in there, the rock or whatever you’ve brought to shoot is gonna go through it.”

“It could be useful.” Mike said, coming to Lucas’ defence. “If it isn't a ghost and is just some rat, then it could work.”

“Thank you,” Lucas replied “And it’s a wrist-rocket, not a slingshot, Max.”

“Can we just go in guys?” Will asked “I’m really tired. I only came because I had nothing to do.”

“Did you come because there was nothing to do, or was it because Mike was doing this?” Lucas asked.

Just as Will was about to retort, Hopper finally came out of the cabin, commanding the 4 kids.

“I want you all to just catch whatever is in my house and get rid of it. It’s been banging on the walls and throwing my stuff off of shelves. Even broke one of my best cups.”

“Are you sure it’s not just a rat or anything?” Mike asked sceptically.

“Tell me, Wheeler, have you seen any invisible rats around? Because I haven’t,” Hopper angrily responded “So stop being such a pussy, get in here and catch the goddam ghost!”

With those last few words, he pushed them all into the cabin, giving an extra shove to Mike. Then he closed the door. Max looked through the dusty blinds.

“He going in his car,” Max said “He’s just ditching us here! We don’t know jackshit about this ghost.”

“Can we all just agree that this is stupid?” Mike said “It’s obviously not a ghost and is just some stupid animal that decided it felt at home in this place.”

"Yea, let's just watch a movie here." Will agreed.

"I brought some candy, so it can be a full on movie night." Mike added.

10 minutes later, everyone was on an old couch, watching some horror films. It didn't seem like Chief Hopper was too big on films, as he only had old stuff in his cabin. After a while, the kids picked "The Invisible Man" as their movie of choice.

"Hey, Lucas, remember that the film isn't real, so don't get scared." Max teased.

"I won't get scared because of some shitty old film." Lucas said, before lightly slapping Max's arm.

"Max was able to scare you with a cheap Michael Myers mask, remember that?" Will pointed out.

"Yea, and you screamed like a girl too," Mike added "not even my little sister could scream that high."

Lucas pretend-sulked for a few seconds before taking a snack from Mike and eating it. As they were all eating and watching the film, Will noticed something.

"Mike, where did you get the snacks from?" He asked.

"Yea, we haven't gone trick-or-treating yet." Max joined in.

"Well," Mike began "I saw Holly's bag and thought she might be eating too much. So I just borrowed a few sweets from her."

"Mike!" Will shouted "You just stole sweets from your sister!"

"I just borrowed them." Mike responded.

"How the fuck do you borrow sweets, Mike?" Lucas asked.

"Ok, ok maybe I shouldn't have stole them," Mike said "But do you guys really wanna watch this old film without any Skittles or Reeses?"

"He has a point." Max answered, as she reached out for his bag.

"Can't believe I'm dating a thief." Will said.

“Would you break up with me if I continued stealing?” Mike asked “Because if you would, maybe I’d consider stopping.”

Will didn’t say anything back, he just kissed him on the cheek. Just as Mike was about to hug him, Max spoke up.

”Ugh, you guys are so clingy. Get a room.” Max joking said, before mime-vomiting.

”Hey, just because we didn’t break up 5 times in 9 months doesn’t mean we’re clingy.” Will replied.

Just as Lucas was about to join in, a clash of something came from the kitchen.

”What was that?” Max asked.

”Eh, probably just some cup.” Mike said.

”Cups don’t just fall out of nowhere.” Lucas said.

”What if it’s the invisble man?” Will joked. Everyone laughed for a bit, until they suddenly heard a loud bang. It shoke the living room, maybe even the whole house.

”What the actual fuck was that?” Max asked, although no one else knew.

”Should we go check it out?” Mike proposed.

”Nah, I’m good. Probably just a stray cat.” Lucas nervously answered.

”Do strays bang on walls?” Will asked sarcastically.

”No, but what if there’s something there?” Lucas answered.

”Ok, let’s settle this.” Max joined in. “Me and Lucas will go check the fallen object, and you two can see what made the bang happen.”

Everyone agreed, even a slightly scared Lucas, before splitting up. Max and Lucas went to the left of the house and searched the kitchen and guest bedroom, while Mike and Will went to the right, towards the bathroom and master bedroom.

After 15 minutes of thorough searching, Lucas and Max found nothing. They had found a bunch of little trinkets in the house, even a ballerina music box, but nothing too supernatural.

”I wonder if they’re gonna make out instead of searching.” Max told Lucas.

”It less likely that they’re not.” He joked back.

”WE CAN HEAR YOU GUYS!” Mike shouted from the bathroom.

”Shit.” Max whispered, before shouting back “HAVE YOU GUYS FOUND ANYTHING YET?”

”NOPE, NOTHING’S IN THE BATHROOM.” Mike replied. “WHAT ABOUT YOU GUYS?”

”NOTHING,” Max shouted back “LET’S MEET UP IN THE LIVING ROOM.”

It only took a few seconds for the 4 of them to get back together and they had nothing of interest to share.

”Can we just go home now?” Will asked “We found no ghosts or animals in this place, Hopper is just getting old and losing his wits.”

“Yea, let’s leave this shithole.” Mike said “But I’m not telling the police chief he’s getting old.”

They were all packing up, Mike putting his stolen sweets back in his bag. Once everyone was ready to leave, Lucas opened the door, but something happened.

It closed on itself.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" Max screamed. She and Mike were completely shocked, while Lucas and Will were now terrified. They all stared at the door for a few seconds, before Mike finally spoke up.

"It was probably the wind, let just try again." He said, though he and everyone else knew that wasn't wind. After a few seconds of trying to open the door, he found something out.

"It's locked." Mike finally said.

"That bullshit," Lucas replied, "You can't lock this door from the outside. Let me try, man."

"Alright," His friend answered, "But don't be shocked when you can't open it."

Just as Lucas was about to put his hand on the doorknob, Will heard something.

"Guys, who the actual fuck turned on that?" He asked, pointing to the kitchen counters. There stood the ballerina box, with the little figure spinning. A delicate, yet slightly eerie tune was coming from it.

"I didn't turn it on." Lucas spoke, "And I was with Max all this time, so it wasn't her."

"Well," Mike began "It wasn't me or Will so-"

He was quickly interrupted by a flying plate coming out of a cupboard. It nearly hit him right in the face, but instead smashed into the wall next to him, spreading fine china all over the floor.

"Holy shit, there's a ghost." Mike slowly said.

"We need to leave right fucking now!" Max urgently shouted.

Everyone started running to the backdoor to try and leave. But suddenly, the couch was right at the door, blocking the teens.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me!" Will screamed. He didn't even know why he came in the first place.

"Now do you think ghosts are fake?" Max asked Mike.

"Max, we are trapped inside this cabin by something, and you're trying to make me say I'm wrong?" Mike slowly told Max.

"Who cares, let's just camp out here till morning." Lucas said

"Are you telling us to stay in a haunted house for a whole night?" Will asked. "Nope, I'm not doing it."

"You can try leave, but this ghost has us trapped." Lucas replied. "So we should wait till Hopper comes back and let him deal with it."

"Alright, fine." Will reluctantly gave in. “But I’m locking my door all night.”

”Alright,so me and Lucas get the bedroom on the left, and you and Mike get the one on the right.”

They all rushed to their new rooms, hoping they wouldn’t get a pan lobbed at them by the ghost.

“Do you think Hopper could actually deal with a ghost?” Mike asked Will, once they shut and locked the door. “I mean, if he needs teenagers to catch a ghost, he would faint if he saw what we saw.”

”Yea, he would not do jackshit if a fork was floating in front of him.” Will laughed

They sat in a peaceful silence for a few seconds, savouring the ghost-free moments.

”Do you wants some candy.” Mike finally asked.

”Depends,” His boyfriend replied. “Are they stolen goods?”

”Stolen, but I guess you’ll miss out on your favourite.” Mike shook a bag of Reese’s Cups in front of Will’s face.

”How dare you tempt me like this?” Will jokingly exclaimed. “You know what, fuck it.” He added as he took Mike’s bag of Reese’s.

”I knew you’d give in!” Mike victoriously said.

”You know I love them.” Will replied.

“More than you love me?” Mike teased.

”Hmmm. Maybe, maybe not.” Will said

Mike lightly punched Will on his arm, and they started play fighting, like they were 7 years old in Mike’s basement again. After a while, they decided to go to sleep, Will taking the left side and Mike taking the right. Mike was a heavy sleeper, almost immediately slumped onto Will. A few minutes passed by and Will also fell into a slumber.

”Which side are you picking?" Lucas asked. "Because I always take the left."

"I pick that side too." Max said.

"Well, there's only one way to settle this." Lucas started. "PILLOW FIGHT!"

He suddenly grabbed a pillow from the bed, and hit Max with it. She retaliated and smacked him over the head. Feathers were everywhere and the two of them layed on the bed, tired but energetic at the same time. Then Lucas had an idea.

”Wait, what if this ghost is like the invisible man?” He said, suddenly sitting upright. “We can’t see him, but he’s still touchable. We could cover him in,like, feathers or paint. Then, once we know where he is, we’ll attack!”

”Lucas, it’s a ghost, they go through walls.” Max replied. “The feathers will just fall as if there was nothing there.”

”It’s worth a shot.” Lucas said, now standing up and at the door. “I’ll wake up Will and Mike.”

He ran to the other room and opened to the door. Mike was laying on Will’s shoulder, the both of them asleep. Until Lucas spoke.

”Guys, sorry for waking you up, but I have an idea to catch the ghost.” He announced.

”Mhh, what?” Will sleepily asked, waking up and straightening his back. Mike’s head slipped off his boyfriend’s shoulder, waking him up in turn.

“So when paint falls on something invisible, it’ll cover it, right?” Lucas explained. “That means that we can cover the ghost in paint and then attack!”

”Lucas?” Will asked.

”Yea?” He replied.

”You do know that ghosts can go through things?” Will said. “So paint would just spill on the floor and Hopper would kill us.”

”That’s what I said.” Max suddenly appeared in the doorframe.

”Well, it’s worth a shot.” Lucas replied.

Will and Mike got out of bed after some more persuasion by Lucas (Mike took 5 minutes more than Will to get out). Everyone quietly crept around the house and got their supplies. Lucas went back to his room and got feathers from his pillow fight with Max. Will got flour from the kitchen and Mike got paint from the cupboard. Finally, Max got a blanket and rope. They went over their plan quickly: they would go into the living room and try to open the main door, which would hopefully bait the ghost. Once they all have him, Lucas, Will and Mike would throw their stuff on him. Then, Max would catch the ghost with a blanket. Finally, they would fight him and tie him up.

The teens all went to the living room and loudly tried to open the door. Mike was falsely complaining in an effort to attract the ghost.

”Oh no!” He theatrically bemoaned. “We can’t open the door! I guess we’re just stuck here.”

After a few minutes of silence, an apple fell from a fruit bowl. Lucas led everyone into the kitchen, waving his hand in the direction they needed to go. Suddenly, the room shook again and a drawer opened. They all took this as their cue, as Lucas shouted, “GO!”, although Max went forward a bit sooner, clearly eager to catch a ghost.

The boys threw their stuff in front of them, right at the drawer. Most of it splattered on the counters and cabinets, but some of it covered a human figure. And someone screamed.

”WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!” It was Max. They hadn’t caught a ghost or invisible man, it was just their friend.

”Shit, Max, I’m so sorr-“ Will began to apologise, but he was taken by something. It grabbed the back of his shirt, lifted him up and pinned him against the wall.

Then, a drawer opened and a knife floated to Will’s neck.

”Holy fuck.” Mike had dropped his paint bucket in utter shock. This ghost was going to kill his boyfriend. But then the knife dropped and a pen made its way to the ghost. It went through Will’s pocket until it found a piece of paper he’d used to doodle on the go. The pen started to write something. After a few seconds, it scrunched up the paper and threw it to the kids. Mike immediately crouched down to read it.

“Either he dies, or all of you do.” He shakily said. “That’s what the note says.”

”Mike, it’s fine.” Will spoke, holding back tears. “Just get out alive, ok?”

”Will, you are not dying to some ghost.” Max told him, blue paint masking how pale she was from terror. But as she said that, the knife hovered towards the three of them, almost like a threat.

”That it, fuck you.” Mike whispered, before running to take Will’s flour bag.

”What are you doing Mike?” Lucas shouted urgently. His friend was now reaching for the bottom of the bag. Finally having some flour in his hand, Mike threw it at the floating knife, revealing someone holding it. Will fell down from the wall, escaping the ghost’s grip.

”Take this, dipshit!” Max shouted, putting the blanket over the ghost’s head. Lucas ran to get the rope and tie him into a knot.

Mike ran to Will, checking on him in case he was hurt.

”Will, fuck, are you ok?” He breathlessly asked.

”Mike, I’m fine.” Will replied, extremely drained. “Why didn’t you just get out?”

”Do you think we were going to let you die in front of us?” His boyfriend said. They both hugged eachother so tightly that one of them might’ve been crushed.

”So, when you guys are done with your love-fest, what are we going to do with this guy?” Max asked, pointing to the writhing figure under the blanket.

”We need to stop this thing, that’s no normal ghost” Will said. “Let’s bury him outside.”

A few minutes later, Mike and Will were outside, having just finished digging a hole for the ghost to lie in. Max and Lucas were in the house, trying to carry him out. Dawn was beginning to rise, small wisps of light making it through the darkness. The two boys were sat on the grass in silence. After a bit of pondering, Mike then spoke.

”Will, when you said the ghost wasn’t normal, what did you mean by that?” He asked.

”It’s just that, I think he just drained me.” Will said, still slightly shaken from his near-death experience. “When he had me, it was like someone was in my head and they were stealing my energy. I guess that’s why I told you guys to go, it’s probably just what it wanted me to think, that there was no hope for me.”

”So you think this ghost has like, powers and stuff?” Mike asked.

”I mean, yea.” Will answered. “It should take a lot to even be a ghost, let alone being able to get into people’s head and show them-“ But then he stopped talking.

”Will, what do you mean?” Mike asked, now more worried than ever.

”It was just some stuff to scare me.” Will began. “Once the ghost got to me, he started showing me visions of you guys. Except that you were all dead in the worst ways possible. It was like a threat: you die, or this is how your friends will end up. He also showed me things that had already happened, like when my dad still lived with me, Mom and Jonathan. He just made me relive it way more vividly than a memory could ever be.”

Just as he had finished, Lucas and Max came through the door, carrying the ghost in between the two of them. Lucas was holding the feet, while Max was carrying the head.

”Can we just burn this fucker?” Max asked.

”I’m pretty sure ghost’s can’t die, and therefore can’t burn.” Lucas replied.

”Well, let’s just get this done and over with.” Will said.

Lucas and Max both unceremoniously threw the ghost into the pit, then Mike and Will tossed the dirt over it.

”Isn’t it weird this will be the closest we’ll ever get to murder?” Mike spoke.

”Well, it’s not really murder if the victim is already dead, is it?” Lucas asked

After 2 minutes, the gang was done with the job. They’d fully buried the ghost, hopefully never haunting anyone else. They all said their “fuck you’s” and “shit-heads” (Will even spat on his grave) before leaving.

“So, can we all agree that this has been the worst Halloween ever?” Lucas spoke.

”Yea, I think getting flour all over me was the worst part.” Max said, before adding, “Well, except from Will being assaulted by a ghost.”

They all walked off into the sunrise, hoping they don’t get trick instead of treat again next year.

#stranger things #st #byler #lumax #will byers #mike wheeler #may mayfield #lucas sinclair #bylerween2023 #bylerween #byler fanfic #lumax fanfic

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louisupdates · 2 years

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By Nicole Goodwin / Durham Reporter

21:35, 8 DEC 2022

There were tears as Louis Tomlinson fans met their idol at HMV in Newcastle this evening after queuing for a signed copy of his latest album, Faith in the Future.

But one of the most adorable reactions came from the singer's youngest fan in the queue, Jude Harrison, who was left in complete shock after meeting the former One Direction star.

After chatting to Louis and getting him to sign a copy of his album, the realisation soon set in for six-year-old Jude that he had just met his idol. And the look on his face was priceless as he walked away with his hand over his mouth trying to process the exciting moment.

Jude's mum Stacey said: "He's so chuffed, I haven't been able to put him to bed because he's that excited still. It's currently 15 minutes after his bedtime but he's still bouncing, still running about."

The 32-year-old, from Blaydon, added: "Straight away when we got home he was asking for the Alexa to play Louis. He's rang everybody he knows, FaceTimed everybody to show them his signed copy of the album, and told them the whole story and said Louis told me I've got lovely blue eyes."

Super-fan Jude likes to wake his mum up at six o'clock in the morning playing the Faith in the Future album, which was released in November. His favourite song is Written All Over Your Face, which is the second track on the album.

Jude became a fan of Louis during lockdown in 2020 after hearing some of his music. Stacey, Jude, and his five-month-old sister would have discos in the kitchen every day to try and lift the mood because they couldn't go anywhere due to Covid restrictions.

And after noticing her son was becoming a fan of Louis and One Direction, Stacey would pick out some of their songs for Jude to dance to during the kitchen discos. It wasn't long before Jude became a super-fan of Louis and he was ecstatic when he found out that he was going to meet his idol after Stacey secured a place for him at Louis album signing at HMV.

Stacey added: "I waited for four hours in a queue online to get the tickets but I didn't want to tell him until I knew I had tickets. When I eventually told him he couldn't believe it. He was so excited and was running round the dining room table."

Stacey explained that Jude had a couple of questions he wanted to ask Louis and she was a bit nervous about what he would say. And when the moment came Jude and one grilling question for the star - "Why do you swear so much in your songs?"

Jude continued to tell Louis that he wasn't allowed to sing those parts because "mummy said not to sing that part". Louis responded by laughing and telling Jude to "block your ears" during those lyrics.

Stacey added: "Louis said that Jude was the name of his favourite football player too. My Jude has no interest in football whatsoever but you'd think he was football's biggest fan by his reaction.

"He also said that Jude had lovely blue eyes and that was the bit Jude really loved, his eyes were like saucers. I had to usher Jude away in the end because I think he would have stood there all day but it was really nice of Louis to give him that time."

A video of Jude after meeting Louis

#louis press #hmv newcastle 2022 #louis and kids #youngest fan #fitf signings #8 december 2022

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sirensorisons · 10 months

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i can't believe it's finally happening.

in early 2012, i picked the hunger games up off the shelf at my school library on a whim. my eldest sister hates reading, but i remembered that this was one of the few books she'd actually enjoyed, so i figured it couldn't be bad. not long after i finished reading, i learned that it would be adapted for the big screen.

on a school trip in april, me and so many of my classmates were caught up in hunger games mania. we tried our hand at being katniss with archery and pretended to be tributes in the woods. i wrote a couple chapters of some horrible self-insert fanfiction that's been lost to time, where my oc was bffs with some of my favorite characters: annie cresta and finnick odair.

throughout middle and high school, i made note of the release dates for every hunger games film, and i went to see catching fire and mockingjay part 1 in theaters. i revisited the series with a keener eye when i was a little older, and i began to understand the true literary genius of it.

for my last high school english assignment in 2018, we were allowed to do anything we wanted. earlier that year, our teacher had said something disparaging about the literary merit of the trilogy, so i decided made a short video about the series, fan films, and 1984.

on june 17, 2019, i learned for the first time that suzanne collins was working on a prequel, set to release on may 19, 2020. i learned at the same time that a movie adaptation was already in the works. i was skeptical when i heard it would be about president snow, but this series had captured my heart seven years prior, so there was no way i was passing this up. i preordered the book as soon as i could.

when it came in the mail on my twentieth birthday, i read the ballad of songbirds and snakes in that single day, for twelve hours straight. when i finally put it down, i'd managed to give myself a nasty eyestrain headache, but i was so, so happy.

i followed the production of the film with interest, as closely as i could with information made publicly available by actors, producers, and fans. i was always excited to share what i'd learned with my parents, and eventually, we were calling it my movie.

last year, in the last few days of august, i embarked on a mission to write a canon-compliant fanfiction about another one of my favorite characters, johanna mason. i posted the first chapter of "as long as i'm burning" in september, and i would write nearly 150k words between then and this past march.

although the fic has been on hiatus since then due to my copious mental issues, alaib and the canon series have been at the forefront of my mind all year. i started to regularly edit the hunger games wiki in may, and i've made over 2000 edits since then. last month, i even made my own private wiki for alaib on miraheze.

i cannot express how much this series means to me. the book release for tbosas genuinely kept me alive in some of my darkest days, and the movie is keeping me going every day even now. i love the world, its characters, and its commentary on our world. i love its message of hope and recovery in such cruel, dire circumstances. i love its love for kindness, freedom, and justice.

and i love that i get to share it with all of you. because even though i had nothing to do with its creation, tbosas feels so deeply personal to me. in my heart it's my movie, and i can't wait for everyone to be able to see it.

i've queued this over a week in advance because i don't expect to be nearly so coherent the day of. at time of posting, i should be heading into the theater, and the hunger games: the ballad of songbirds and snakes will be beginning any minute now.

this has been such an incredible journey. i'll see you in a few hours.

#welcome to the shitshow.txt #thg #hunger games #tbosas

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whatisreggieshortfor · 2 years

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Surprise?

For @rebelrayne

Lucas x MC

Angst to fluff

Life should’ve been perfect.

They won Love Island. They were making time for each other in their relationship in the real world. They were growing closer than ever.

But then Lucas’s parents began digging into his brain. They fed him doubts.

Making him second guess every decision he’d made, had him questioning Penelope’s loyalty, left him wondering if they were seeing something he wasn’t.

He wasn’t naive enough to believe his parents outright. They never supported the way he lived his life, the plans he’d made for himself. But they’d liked Penelope so much when they first met her. Always asking him to bring her back for another visit, always asking how she was when they talked. If they liked her, they wouldn’t lie…right?

His parents had made comments about her traveling for her job as she toured with her band, how she spent more time away from him than home. Made comments about her being too close to the other Islanders even after their time ending, but he thought it was fair to be close to them. But then the more he thought about it, the more he realized that for the past month she’s been whispering with Bobby and they’d both stop whenever he walked in. Hope wouldn’t look him in the eye when he mentions her. Gary always has some place to run if he tries to talk about it. Chelsea won’t even answer him. He reminds himself that he trusts Penelope more than he trusts his parents about her. But then why were the things they said becoming clear as day with the distance she was making between them? She was spending more nights at her own flat than at his, and when he would offer to stay with her she would make excuses that she needed to be up early for work. They were supposed to be looking for flats together- it was what she said she wanted. But even Priya was ducking his calls to see if she was still speaking to her about it.

He was facing what he was already afraid to realize. Maybe Penelope just didn’t love him anymore. Maybe it really was just a summer of love and she was too afraid to break it off.

He turned to the only person he could think of with Henrik also blowing off his calls.

Blake was confused when her phone rang, Lucas’s name lighting up across the screen. They had long gotten past the infatuation they had with each other, and she and Penelope had gotten past her mean words at the finale, but it wasn’t often either of them reached out to her. Blake was never offended by that, she understood why it would be awkward. Lucas had brought her back to the Villa, essentially telling Penelope that he didn’t trust her to stick with him. She could see why that would make a close friendship hard.

Still, she answered the call expecting news of an engagement or one of them getting a promotion. She didn’t expect to be met with what he said.

“Could you meet me for coffee? I think I’m being dumped.”

Blake sat at the cafe table, tapping her stirrer against the rim of her cup as Lucas recalled everything that had been happening. How their friends were brushing him off, Penelope being more guarded about her phone, always rushing off when Bobby called. When he finished, she hummed.

“Do you trust her?”

“Well, yeah, but-“

Blake shook her head. “Babes, look deep in your heart, right now. Ignore what your parents said, ignore everything but your gut feeling here. Do you trust her?”

“Yes.”

Blake shrugged, “I’m sorry but that’s all you can do. She’ll either hurt you, or she won’t. And- I don’t say this to be mean- but you didn’t trust her once and I saw the way it almost broke her. Even with that brave face she put on saying she was happy for us. Rewatch that episode if you don’t believe me. I know tensions were high, and you might not have noticed it at the time, but you’ll see it.”

They talked a bit more about various things before Lucas decided to head home and take her advice. He queued up the episode with the stick or switch, watched the way Penelope was clearly upset, tears filling her lash line even as she smiled at him and offered her support. The way she needed to brace herself before approaching him on the roof terrace.

It made sense. Lucas knew he could trust her. She wasn’t a mean person. If she moved on from him, she would tell him.

He decided to head to her place, not something they usually did. His place was usually the go to, and he wondered how long she’d been accommodating him when he didn’t for her.

He had his own key, so when he saw her car he left himself in, catching the end of a conversation, “You can’t tell him. It’ll ruin everything.”

“He’ll find out eventually, babe.” That was Bobby, but it wasn’t in person. She must’ve been FaceTiming him.

“I just need a week. Then it won’t matter anymore, the secret will be out.” Then they said their goodbyes, and Lucas shut the door a little louder than necessary.

She ran into the living room to find him, and he gave her a smile and a hug, “Hey, love. I missed you so I thought I’d come to you this time.”

Penelope’s eyes shined with surprise and affection as she excitedly returned the embrace and launched into telling him about her day.

A week, huh? Lucas guessed that if that’s how long he got her, he’d make the most of it and deal with the pain later.

The Sunday dinner with his parents was rough. They kept making not so subtle digs at both of them, and Penelope didn’t offer up much resistance because she had repeatedly made the point that she didn’t want to be labeled as the over defensive girlfriend. She wanted their approval. She didn’t look to him for help, like most would expect. She had told him to just let what they say go. But Lucas tried where he could, and their doubts started creeping back into his mind as the night wore on. He might only have her until the end of the week, then they could say ‘I told you so’ and go back to only questioning his professional choices.

That Saturday, it was coming. Whatever it was, he knew by the end of the night he’d end up in tears that he would hide away.

When Penelope picked him up, she wouldn’t tell him what they were doing. She drove just a few minutes from his flat, pulling up outside a building only familiar because he passed it every day. He knew what it was, flats that were a cross between her low rent style and his posh style, but he couldn’t think of anyone he knew that would be living there. None of their friends had mentioned moving, let alone so close to him. They entered the lobby, and he registered how nervous she seemed as she pressed the button to call the lift, before hitting the floor button. She led him down the hall, raising her fist to knock on a door, but he stopped her.

“Am I supposed to be meeting the guy?”

She blinked, her brow furrowing, “What? Meeting who?”

“I-“ he shook his head, “It’s going to sound even stupider if I say it out loud. My parents were pointing out the distance between us, and you’ve been so secretive, and I just thought-“ her eyes widened in realization but he continued, “It’s daft to think. Even more so when I realize you wouldn’t be bringing me to meet him at his place, but-“

She pounded on the door quickly, effectively shutting him up, before grasping his hand like she was afraid he’d pull a runner. The door swung open a second later, Priya beaming from the other side, “Glad you two could make it! Come in, come in.” The entry of the flat was decorated, but it was sparsely furnished, and as soon as they crossed the threshold all of the Islanders jumped out, “SURPRISE!”

Lucas damn near had a heart attack. “GAH! What the hell is happening?”

“House warming party, babes!”

“House warming-“ he glanced at Penelope, who was nervously twiddling with her rings.

“I kind of, might’ve, maybe, definitely already leased this place for us. I was trying to make it a surprise, but instead I had you second guessing everything and I’m sorry but-“

Lucas cut her off with a kiss, “I’m sorry, love. I wasn’t trying to doubt you, but I was having trouble coming up with alternatives. Like why you were so sneaky about talking to Bobby of all people.”

“Oi! I’ll have you know I was busy making a cake to her exact specifications!” The baker called out, wheeling out a cake that was an edible replica of the Villa.

Blake waved from the corner, “Sorry I couldn’t be more reassuring. She called me the day after we talked and let me in on the secret.” Lucas just held his girl tight as the others got the party moved going.

Lucas was right. He did end up with tears in his eyes that night. But not because his heart was broken. Instead it was because it had never felt more full.

Masterlist

@justtuesdays @sunshinejihyun

#litg #litg season 2 #litg lucas x mc #litg lucas #post villa #established relationship #s2litgexchange

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okay-j-hannah · 2 years

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Hi you've been inactive for a week and I was just wondering what you were doing you dont have to answer I was just curious.

Yes, by now I've been inactive for months 😅 The only explanation I have is that I'm incredibly busy and writing on Tumblr is something I only do on the side when I have time.

Right before going inactive I had been getting a lot of bots or rude askers targeting me with false accusations. It was really discouraging thinking people believed me to be malicious on this platform.

All I ever wanted to do here was write comforting fanfic.

That doesn’t mean I’ve completely stopped writing. I’ve written over a dozen fics while inactive - finishing series, completing requests, and writing things simply because I wanted to. I just love to write!

That being said, I would also like to thank those few blogs that tagged me and interacted with me while I was away. Though I didn’t post, I still checked back in periodically and seeing those heartwarming tags really made my day.

Check out my Writing List to see what is queued to be posted in the coming weeks.

Thanks for reaching out, it's okay to be curious. Have a nice day 😊

#okayjhannah question #okayjhannah answer #okayjhannah #okay j hannah #fandomfantasia #hannahbeartalks #anon ask okay j hannah

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danpuff-ao3 · 2 years

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Hi!

I found some months ago some of your Hp fics on ao3 and, despite not being that great Snarry fan, I loved your writing style, so I started to following you and this last week I found your astrology posts.

I'm not a fan or a believer of astrology, still how you presented the various analysis intrigued me a lot, more as a way of reading a fictional character than as a pure astrological lecture (don’t understanding much), so I wanted to make a request, you can consider it and if you don't like feel free to reject it!

Could be possible for you to analyze the dynamic between Severus Snape and Sirius Black? It doesn't have to be a love chart (even though, from what I understood so far, synastries are used for romantic relationships? Or could be for relationships in general?), but only as a alternative way to analyze the strong distaste between these two characters that for me are basically both foils and mirrors to each other.

Like yeah, I pretty much ship them, but I also love Sirius with James and indeed your synastry about them was so interesting to read! (Instead Wolfstar is my almost "pet peeve", like is a cute ship but they aren't in my style).

So feel free to consider it if you would like it or manage to do it, thank you very much in any case and keep doing the good work with your fics, they are very beautiful (I've read the most recents ones + all the ones with Regulus).

Have a nice day :)

Hello there!!

It's so nice to hear you enjoyed my writing, in spite of not being a Snarry fan, and are enjoying the HP Astro series, in spite of not being much of a believer! It was my hope that, even people who don't care for astrology, could still find some interest in those!

Your request very much intrigues me! Synastry isn't used solely for romantic relationships, though it often is; questions of romance oftentimes show up in these matters, from astrology to tarot to the Law of Attraction. (Not everyone, mind you, but love is quite a hot topic all the same!) In truth, synastry is the comparison of any two charts to sort of read the relationship. Be it familial, platonic, or romantic.

I have written a few synastry readings for ships I don't personally ship (Drarry is one, and Snily is another; my Snily post is queued up for late January, I believe!) And I had plans for yet more (Snupin is on my to-do list!) So I don't see why not! Snack could be an interesting one to look at for sure. To examine the loathing there, what might have led to their antagonism, any potential for moving past said antagonism.

No promises as to when it will be done, but I will add it to my to-do list, and I imagine I'll get it up sometime next year! Thank you for reaching out! And for your kind words about my work! They are very much appreciated. :)

#astro asks

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davidcameron · 1 month

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On the morning of labour’s election victory, a wet morning, another wet morning in a foul summer, David Cameron opened the door to his bathroom, pulled down his plaid sleeping boxers (Gant), positioned himself squarely in front of his toilet, shoulders loose and rolling, a little bounce and give in the knees, took his shrivelled wad between the thumb and index finger of his right hand, and, for the first time since he took on the role of foreign secretary, allowed himself to piss.

It had all happened without aforethought. Sometime after his mid-morning Dr Pepper, on the day of the surprise announcement of his appointment, an appointment that stirred even Andrew Sparrow down from his perch on the roof of the Guardian’s ugly offices, to start plucking at the keyboard with his beak, and - we’re back to talking about David Cameron now - at the head of a large, ooid table, David Cameron felt the first stirrings. The first limpid stirrings, he would recall it with that phrase, none more apropos, it was quite as though, he imagined himself saying to a group of people gathered in front of him, perhaps in a Waterstones, it was quite as though my bladder and balls knew what the sitch was, what the situation was, and they said to me, “Mr David, we’re here doing our thing, keep that in mind, but you’re good, you’re good to go… you’re good to go, buddy.” And so it was that he began to believe, and the belief turned into action, and the action into a technique, the technique to habit and the habit to something like transcendence. He told nobody else, but frequently tapped florid accounts into his Notes app, recording sensation after sensation, from agony to bliss, convulsion to insensibility, like the movements in a symphony by Schubert (and it’s from these reflections that these brief paragraphs are taken). What form did that transcendence take? What heights did David Cameron reach, what depths did he scrape the hard basin of? Certain constraints prevent a full account - some legal, some only moral (and if only David Cameron sometimes, only occasionally, allowed himself to think, and then say to his wife, usually in the car, heading somewhere far off, if only the public could glimpse the true me, the unfettered me, and really see what I’ve got goin on, you know? Outside of their so-called moral code? Without whatever passes for decency in this rat’s age, this cur’s age, breathing down their thick, entattooed necks? Do you know what I mean? Do you get what I’m saying?) - being gifted to you, the lucky reader, who, in spite of that, ought to be grateful for whatever you get, however meagre (though these are not meagre). In truth, this is a description of a feat never previously attempted, and never by a cabinet minister either, it’s something really out of the normal run of things, way out, and if that doesn’t impress you then please return to Pinterest and type “dog video” into the search bar. You know what? In fact, if you’re not impressed that David Cameron held his piss in the whole time he was Foreign Sec, and then pissed it out on the morning of Labour’s election win, then please go back to talking about the badass olympic shooter. Oh my god, who cares about that, could it be more boring to see people’s “takes” about it? It's just a guy. It’s like those fucking people you see queuing outside a cafe on a Sunday morning. How good can it possibly be? How good can their egg be? What are you doing there? Such thoughts swam around David Cameron’s mind, like shoals of yellow fish in a golden lake, the surface tension a white mirror, almost breaking.

What form did the transcendence take? We can relate two incidents from which a larger picture can be formed in the mind of the reader (and please do do that, please try to form a picture in your mind of the daily toil that it requires not to piss. Oh, you think it’s easy? Try it for just a month. Honestly, try it. Finish reading this, hit the like, tell a few friends about it, put it up on your Pinterest if you like, go around talking about what David Cameron did and how interesting it was to read all about it, true insight, real honesty, not like most of them politicians now, who have to consult the nation’s almanac before granting mere planning “permission” for a home gym and treatment centre/panic room on land that one already bloody well owns! Do all that and then come back and see how you’ve done. And if you wet yourself, which, come on, you did, you wet yourself, you stupid prick (or would have done/will do if you tried/try it) then there you go), which will grant them a deep understanding of David Cameron in this particular period. The first concerns a beautiful church in Tbilisi, which David Cameron had occasion to visit as part of his many duties as a state functionary. The church was dark and cool inside, the high vaulted ceiling something something (the assistant tasked with writing down architectural details had “lost” his notes from that afternoon, much to David Cameron’s chagrin, for let it never be said that he didn’t adore church architecture, but only that the technical vocabulary necessary to provide exegesis on it was recondite, and yes, David Cameron had a few suggestions for modernisation. What about, for example, instead of nave you just call it the preach space? No? Not that? Alright well what about instead of altar you say candle hatch? Naaah, naaah, just joking with you on that last one. But seriously, if anyone has any SENSIBLE and WORKABLE ideas, especially where crenellations and fonts are concerned, then send them over). The light from the windows cast broad, distended squares over the stone floor, and only those pellucid zones, which David Cameron dodged his way around, threatened the reverent atmosphere. In a side chapel, a trickle of cloudy water ran from the rock that the church was hewn out of, into a cracked and oxidised ewer, carved such that it appeared that Saint Brigid herself were holding it up on her shoulders. “This is spring water, believed to be holy. To touch it, say the local legends, is to be saved,” an attaché whispered into David Cameron’s pink right ear. The trickle was doing his bap in, though, and he momentarily hunched down into a squat and walked a broadly hexagonal route around the chapel, fists pumping like a sprinter, trying to stave off whatever was going on down there with himself. “I’m alright!” he finally shouted at the small group he was with, ministers from other nations, people of importance in the Georgian government, some priests etcetera, who all looked at him with alarm and concern. “I’m alright,” he repeated, more calmly now, and eighty or ninety percent of the way back to a normal stance. “But I must say,” he went on, raising his voice beyond the hushed volume that the building and its occupants were accustomed to from all but the bishop, “but I must say that the sin of idolatry is all about us. From every corner, the devil leers at me!” And, without looking back, except to make sure that his aide, whose notebook full of detailed observations was forgotten in the chase, was behind him, going full pelt.

But let us return for a moment to David Cameron, happily now at the toilet in his home, thinking about politics, and thinking about foreign policy, about legacy and about reputation. Time to hang up the old riding spurs, place the riding crop back in its velour sheath (David Cameron had been as surprised as you are, reading this now, that the sheath, which he had bought in good faith from a website whose pink and purple design he had found decidedly chic, was a sex shop, but whatever, who cares, who gives a crap), David Cameron thought to himself, but thought it without nostalgia or wistfulness, those weakling emotions, emotions experienced largely by neckbearded indolents traipsing down Dalston High Street in designer hiking gear. Instead, David Cameron reflected, watching the bulbous, greenish-yellow meniscus rise like a plague’s plump little buboe, that he faced this second career’s end as he had the first, as he had all endings, including when Doctor Romano lost his arm on ER, a repulsive choice on the part of the directors and writers of a once great show. David Cameron had talked non stop about it, yes, in a wavering, even wheedling manner, bargaining, refusing to accept what had happened, that’s right, and he had cried for like eight or nine days, sure, but he had been stoic throughout, displayed the true strength of the general, the warrior, Braveheart, his wife and mother both agreed no matter how many times he asked them. And so with this, so with the foreign office and so with the government - his government, ultimately, if you really think about it (which he had, loads) - he looked back upon them as a man (or woman!) might look back at a familiar portrait, perhaps of a great uncle in ceremonial ruff and medals, on one’s landing, and, picking up on its detail for the first time in ages, think to oneself, “Oh yeah.” But in the sense of "oh yeah" like, oh yeah, I remember I have that thing, not "oh yeah" in the laudatory sense. And so with the foreign office, David Cameron thought to himself again, feeling his legs thin a little as they emptied out through his unit, into the toilet.

The second example? Certainly. “What on earth is those Slovakian’s effing problem?” David Cameron’s wife had said at a dinner party, to murmurs of assent round the table, as David Cameron attempted to delicately and surreptitiously scrape the skin from his turbot. Heads, however, had turned to him, and, abandoning his endeavour he put his knife and fork down, a gesture he felt had gone down delightfully, once, at the UN, and said, "Well of course the situation is febrile now that we can no longer be certain of support from the Walloon." His speech rang out coldly in the room, each piece of fish quietly stopped steaming, and the clear air was suffused with a dignified silence, only the faint hum of Reef’s “Place Your Hands” (David Cameron’s choice), gilding it. The desire to excuse himself to use the bathroom was very strong in that moment, tempered only by the fact that, until his wife had asked the question, all anybody had been talking about around the table was how long it had been (at that point around eight weeks), how difficult it had been, how impressive it was and how, actually, you know what, it looked like it was doing him some good, whatever else one may think of it, that David Cameron had not pissed since taking on this new job.

The bowl began to overfill, and flow evenly onto the cerise tiles of the bathroom floor. Oh well, David Cameron thought to himself, and thought with gusto, true gusto (a rare emotion in this straitened times, these times of penury, spite and indifference), that the NDA his lawyer had had the maid sign was as thick and lurid as 2666, and, one hopes, as critic-proof. But wasn’t it really this, when it all came down to it, whatever one holds in eventually has to make its way out, and the world has to deal with it. Isn’t that all anything comes down to? Aren’t the fluids that you, the reader, are now expelling in awe at what you have just read, telling your mates left, right and centre all about it, upvoting, posting on X, all the fluids produced in those activities, are they, in the final analysis, any less putrid than that which now congeals on David Cameron’s floor as he idly walks away, leaving only damp footprints on the hall rug? It’s a cliché to speak of the heat death of the universe, as though anybody understands what that might mean, and of course David Cameron knew that there could never be such a death, but despite that, and despite the cliché, David Cameron knew, abundantly knew, the foreign office is like a huge toilet, and only the men (and the women!) with the stones enough to hold it in, and the endurance to keep holding, are the ones stopping a worse pipe, the big pipe, where all our fluids are intermixed, from bursting.

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charliecoxbf · 1 year

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every multiple of 9!

Sorry if I got any number wrong, I suck at math and had to use a calculator to find the multiples of 9 😭

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?

Yes, actually. My father wrote a song for my birthday. It... wasn't a great experience.

18: Do you believe in karma?

I believe in being the karma you want to see in the world. Do something nice for someone nice. Be a dick to an asshole.

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

Sound I hate: the grindr notification sound. i wish they'd let us change it.

Sound I love: my alarm clock for my meds at night.

36: Define Art.

Something that moves you. Touches you.

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

Oh that's a toughie. Uuuuh. Probably the time I broke my right arm at the elbow. The bone broke completely so my arm was just hanging there. My mom cried so much, she was so scared. It didn't heal right, so to this day I can bend my arm in the opposite direction a little (not much) and my mom hates it.

I'm not counting the seizure because it wasn't an injury per se, it was a seizure.

54: What’s the last thing you purchased?

TicTacs. Orange flavored.

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

I go full on Gomez Addams and become overwhelmingly enamored with them.

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

A) I tell the people I love who love me on my last week, so the entire month isn't ruined by premature sadness. I write a post on my blog to be queued and published after my death so my online friends don't think I ghosted them.

B) spend time with my loved ones. Eat my favorite foods. Take out a loan in my name to pay for said food, safe in the knowledge that the debt dies with me. Masturbate a lot (won't waste time with meaningless sex).

C) I'd be worried for the people I left behind. I'm personally not afraid of dying, I'm afraid of how my death would hurt my loved ones. My best friends, my mother. How will they cope? How will they feel?

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

I don't want to be buried, I want to be cremated. But if I were to be buried, I'd love for my tombstone to say I left the world a little bit better than I found it.

90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

Probably pee a little. Then i assess the situation. If the mummies aren't doing anything I probably just go back to sleep. If they wanted to hurt me they would have already. Maybe they just want to chill. Besides, being schizophrenic and having had visual hallucinations before, I'd just assume they aren't real.

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

Oh god there are so many answers to this. It depends on the circumstances. If they know I'm the one talking I'd say something like "fear me for I am god". If they think the voice is God I'd say "overthrow capitalism. Use force if necessary." If everyone thinks they're just hearing voices and going crazy I'd say something like "wake up" just to stirr shit.

#ask game

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e1igius · 2 years

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the voice , the one he had heard so many times over and over again in his head. the one he knew he would jump into the fire for --- it echoed over the corners of the house in paralyzing sticato. and the conviction that filled in the young marine's heart could not be measured with anything that could be found on the earth as they knew it. it was the sense of oneness that one shared only with bonded brothers. the same utter and unending devotion that was reserved for canines to their owners , brothers in arms , and lovers. if anyone would have told lance corproal sawyer that his struggles were beginning not when he'd entered a realm of utter chaos but as he had escaped it he would have never believed it.

and yet , here he was. rushing to the side of the only person he'd ever cared for as much as his own mother. walkman headphones tuned in to the sounds of some eighties hair band. not that he's listening to it. far too preoccupied with following the sound of hargrove's voice. he'd promised the boy one thing. and only one thing , and yet when he'd been saved from hell he hadn't kept his promise. no instead of staying in the flames with the other teenager he'd gone back home to camp pendleton california. rejoined his unit after explaining very thoroughly that he had been in hawkins and that's why he was late and by the grace of god escaped an njp.

but he'd broken a promise. he hadn't stayed. he couldn't... not without defecting from his whole life... even though he knew , that he was needed. maybe it had been the general understanding that billy wasn't alone. that he had a friend , a sister , and people that were willing to take him in and accept him even if it wasn't his own blood family. things that huckleberry didn't have , not in indiana. everyone that understood him was on that base in california , everyone he loved was in california ( other than of course , billy , and his mother ). he wasn't sure how the other would react to seeing him. but he didn't really need to know.

the call form maxine had surprised him. first that she had looked up his command's phone number. and secondly that , she was asking for him ? it wasn't like he was the only person that could help in the situation. and yet , even six months later , without hesitation he was putting in leave again and hopping on the first plane back to that godforsaken town. he was getting picked up at the airport by some dude named harrington that he vaguely remembered from highschool... and getting dropped off outside of a house that had felt empty despite him watching maxine walk out to greet him. her auburn hair waving around like a flag in the fall wind.

when she let him inside auto pilot takes over. he dosen't know how , he's never been here but he just knows where billy's room is. his heart and mind are set on the only thing that can quench them. the voice that bounces off the walls like shrapnel. he doesn't listen to the girl's warnings or anger as he pushes through the door. he doesn't stop until he's grabbed the familiar figure by the shoulders and pulled him into a tight hug. billy smelled like sweat and hair product , like the rainfall from the previous day and expired cologne. billy smelled like home. he feels the other muffle something into his shoulder and huck lets out a little laugh , if a laugh could ever sound like the lone star state embracing your that would have been it. ❝ she called. said you weren't feelin' well up here. ❞ he takes a half step back and pokes the other's head. ❝ so i came. don't know if you even want to see me but reckoned i'd try anyway , i'm here. i'm sorry i couldn't stay. but i'm here. ❞

@kinghaargrove asked for an advance on a meme i have queued

#kinghaargrove #:// files_revoked / verses / stranger_things

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ljf613 · 2 years

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I posted 3,049 times in 2022

186 posts created (6%)

2,863 posts reblogged (94%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@the-word-huntress

@lady-tortilla-chip

@raayllum

@vantrisha

@bananzer

I tagged 3,040 of my posts in 2022

#all queued up - 2,940 posts

#fanart - 1,830 posts

#avatar the last airbender - 527 posts

#thoughts - 443 posts

#fairy tail - 292 posts

#fullmetal alchemist - 279 posts

#my hero academia - 232 posts

#boku no hero academia - 232 posts

#furuba - 170 posts

#fruits basket - 170 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#and everything to do with what being around people who are overly concerned with their own personal physical appearance does to your psyche

My Top Posts in 2022:

See the full post

110 notes - Posted February 3, 2022

What really sold me on Red Shoes and the Seven Dwarfs was the part of the movie where Snow can't get the shoes off (because deep down she's no longer so sure that she wants to be who she is without them).

It's one of the most realistically accurate scenes I have ever seen in an animated kids' movie.

126 notes - Posted July 11, 2022

Konekomaru: Hey exwires, here's a pro tip: do not write an email to your cram school teacher while you're seriously sick. Signed, a person who somehow came up with "dear hello, I am sick and not sure if I'll be alive to come tomorrow and I'm sorry, best slutantions, Miwa".

Shiemi: I mean, if someone wrote that to me, I'd probably believe they were sick.

Renzo: "Slutantions" has me crying laughing

Rin: i once emailed Shura with a migraine. a mistake. "I amsick will not to training because i have a heache. i Hope its very and i am so sorry love, blue" the subject line was "OW"

Izumo: THE SUBJECT LINE IS THE BEST PART JSJFISJDJS JUST IMAGINE GETTING AN EMAIL WITH NO CONTEXT OTHER THAN "OW"

Mephisto: As someone who runs a cram school, please send those emails because 1) We WILL believe that; no one would write that on purpose and 2) we need a laugh sometimes.

Ryuji: On the other side of this, once after getting taken to the ER by ambulance, I got an email from Sideburns, and the message had no text, just the subject line "you good?"

Yukio: Claritin makes me weird, but I have allergies so there’s about a month and a half block of time where I’m taking Claritin and am just weird most of the time. Anyway, last year, I got the flu or something and was also taking Mucinex. I told Shiro I couldn’t work one day by email except I couldnt think of what to say, so my medicated self decided to make a Fry meme. I think it said something like “Not sure if I can go perform an exorcism with a head the size of Gehenna, bottom text.” I didn’t think until the next day that it probably wasn’t socially-acceptable to tell the Paladin you weren’t coming on a job via Tumblr style memes. When i woke up, i found that he’d printed it out and taped it to the fridge.

Yukio: Oof you guys i turned on my laptop that I used to use back then. IT WAS ON THE DESKTOP. THIS IS WHAT I SENT. It’s even worse than i remember it

For @swearingintengwar

145 notes - Posted February 1, 2022

Adorable commission of Kacchan and Fuyumi-neesan from @wintertundra-art! I absolutely love how this one came out, thank you so so much!

145 notes - Posted March 23, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Apparently my best friend has never seen any of the How to Train Your Dragon movies, and I'm due for a rewatch, so we're watching them together.

We're about halfway through the first and there's two things that really stand out to me this time around:

Hiccup is funny. Like, really funny. (Sure, he's funny in the later movies, too, but there's something uniquely amusing about the self-deprecating humor of an awkward and lonely fifteen year old with absolutely no filter. It's great.)

All things considered, Stoick is actually.... a pretty decent parent. I mean, I've been reading a lot of HTTYD fics lately, and many of them portray him as this awful, domineering guy who doesn't care about his son AT ALL until he becomes "useful" or whatever. And watching the OG movie, especially from a more grown-up perspective on things, he's really not all that bad. Sure, he's not exactly getting any 'parent of the year' awards. He's a human, and he makes mistakes, but, considering the circumstances, he really is trying his best.

399 notes - Posted November 2, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #ao no exorcist #blue exorcist #red shoes and the seven dwarfs #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #how to train your dragon #httyd #apparently nine of my posts didn't have any tags?#can't think what those would be i'm pretty careful about tagging everything #all queued up

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