#would you like a treat puppy?

[en-bitch]

Oh to present a sub with a present and tell them they can have it, but they need to open it with their mouth. It takes them a few tries to undo the knots and you have to stop their hand from instinctively moving towards it "ah ah, no paws"

They unwrap it to find a shiny collar with their name. "It's for you, for being such a good pup" you tell them as you put it around their neck. "Now can puppy say thank you like we practiced"

"Than-"

"Ah, use your puppy words"

"Bark"

"Good puppy"

You move on to the bed, beckoning them to crawl to you on all fours, smiling as they hesitate to get on the furniture. "Up," you say, patting the bed and stroking their hair as they manage to jump up. Your hand moves to the back of their neck, ready to guide them.

"You know what we're doing today, why I got you all puppy like?"

They shake their head

"I know you've not been sleeping puppy, you've been struggling to relax haven't you?"

They let out a small whine of affirmation

"Well we're going to fix that, rest your head on my lap" slowly guiding their head with your hand. They pout a little as they were expecting something more, but they accept nevertheless and do as they are told.

"I know you wanted to have some fun, but don't worry, I've got you collared and barking like a good puppy, you're mine and I'm going to take my time enjoying you." As you finish that thought your hand which was moving slowly down their spine reaches the end and gently teases them, moving back up before they get too excited.

"But for now, your health is my priority and I need you to rest up ok. Let all the thoughts that have been keeping you up wash away, they're human thoughts, not puppy thoughts. They're too complicated for you to understand right now, so they don't matter." You continue stroking their head until all the exhaustion of being up for so long finally hits them, drifting them off to sleep. You pull the blankets over them to keep them warm and continue to lie there, you'll join them in sleep too, once you know they are in a deep enough sleep. Your cute little puppy is going to be ok

[ceilidho]

hi sorry nobody has asked for these. but im back with more silly "knight simon is jealous of a puppy" headcanons. my man is showing up to church everyday like is it weird that i want my wife to pat me on the head and the poor priest has to be like no not really do you have any actual sins to confess mr knight who's killed a bunch of people and he's like no. listen to me talk about this dog. he can't even be mad about it because the dog is doing its job! his lady is smiling and she's protected and he's SEETHING about it. the dog loves him so so much and he also loves this dog but secretly he's taking the dog aside to be like can you do your job less efficiently. please. lays his head in her lap and is like tell me you love me more then the dog please. please. im not getting up until you tell me. and she's like ? and fusses about it bc his head is in her lap and she's flustered but she does say it eventually

the priest: "again, super weird, but not technically a sin"

[minty-bunni]

AU where the Fentons end up with Dan, all of Danny's clones, and a handful of AU Dannys and have to find a way to explain suddenly having so many kids that look like Danny with similar names WHILE avoiding making the GiW suspicious.

[grison-in-space]

okay so I wanted to show @coffee-mage-sans-caffeine some terrible field Beagle stacks, so that they could see how uncomfortable the dogs look, and therefore I went hunting for field rabbit beagle kennels.

I turned up one pet "rare color" breeder and one that turned out to be a breed-specific article from a fucking content mill. Which: Gross. But the third one actually was a field rabbit-hunting beagle breeder, one who had the most good ol' boy [appreciative] blog description of his goals I've seen in a very long time:

Woodpont Beagles are a pack of dual-purpose (show and field bred) hunting hounds located in Southern Ohio, USA.  Some of our female lines now stretch back as many as 16 generations, spanning nearly 40 years.  Hounds from this kennel have been very successful in the past at field trials and shows, although the primary focus the past 20 years has been on pack work after cottontail rabbit or snowshoe hare. 

[...]

Feel free to contact us if this sounds like the type of hound for you.  Not everyone likes the same kind of beagle.  If your interest is field trials, or showing, you may want to keep looking.  If you want good, honest hounds for pack work or gunning, these just may suit you.  Puppies occasionally available.

Like, you know that is an old white man with the most rural of backgrounds and interests. His philosophy is fantastic, mind you, the dogs themselves are a blend of conformation and working beagle lines with the goal of maintaining the best of both worlds, if I wanted a beagle or to hunt rabbits I'd be on that man's doorstep in a heartbeat. I'm reading his stuff and I'm watching very carefully, and I see a post title and pre-emptively flinch:

Immediately what pops into my head is QAnon and hideous right-wing politics have invaded all kinds of circles over the years, and look I was starting to really like this guy, his opinions about working hounds are kickass, and oh no he's going to take time out of his day to make it clear he thinks people like me are scum--what does it read--oh no, oh no, what is it gonna say--

Things You Will Not See Here

Hounds with No Show Blood

Hounds with No Field Blood

Hounds in above ground kennels (i.e., raised on wire rather than being reared on the ground. always. no stacking kennels or god forbid runs.) ...

Yeah. Okay. I can live with this. It's a website straight out of 2013 (or 2003) rather than 2023. And oh, what a breath of fresh air the blog is!

[spriteofmushrooms]

If I don't read a Jin Guangyao and Jiang Cheng co-parenting fic right now I'm gonna die.

[campbluesky]

Ok grhehrgrhfrr I need to talk about this but I fucking HAAAAAATE JAVIER HOLY SHIT HES ONE OF YHE CHARACTERS I HATE THE MOST. You CANNOT tell me that most of the Murphy shit that went down would not have happened / would not have been THAT bad/extreme if he weren't fucking there. WHY WAS HE THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE?????? He's nothing but an unoriginal Mexican stereotype!!!!!!! With fucking. Idk Macks death and HIM joining the group for who knows fucking why, the group started to treat Murphy MUUUUUUCH worse and it was very notable. His actions and way of thinking started to rub off on Warren and just generally the group started going in a weird way moral wise. I guaranTEE you Murphy would not have run off/escaped as much as he did if fuckin JAVIER weren't there. I hate him so much I see no point in him being in the show at all.

[peachypizzicato]

now that toh has been over for a little while can i finally say that i think raeda being endgame was weird and unhealthy. like can i finally say it

[themme--fatale]

.

[bigsnaff]

My commander doesn't really have that parent-child bond with Aurene that's sort of set up through canon. I'd describe it more as a sibling relationship, at most? Cyna doesn't really have... much maternal instinct or manner to her. She's very blunt, forward, and prone to irritation and impatience.

In fact I'd almost describe her having a consistent disconnect with Aurene, to the point where it was likely a minor character arc wherein she felt conflicted in regards to fulfilling her duties as Aurene's "Champion". It was prophecy, it was destiny, she couldn't necessarily say no. But nonetheless, this "bond" that everyone kept saying she had with Aurene... she just didn't feel.

I don't think she disclosed this to anyone, though Aurene undoubtedly felt it. And if Aurene did view Cyna as a parent, it would make sense that she would go to such lengths to, in a way, prove herself to Cyna.

And maybe it was when Aurene was fatally impaled by Kralkatorrik's crystals after leaping to Cyna's defense that Cyna finally understood.

[merkerlerspeaks]

ik a lot of people want it but I just simply do not think that simon & fionna can have a father/daughter relationship. Not without it being weird.

[dread-knight]

Why do you have to write a story for other people to see it I feel like my brain is being stretched in twenty different directions with all the shit I want to make but low energy & not enough time & my own sense of shame makes it so that I’m not doing anything. Gahhh

[skrunksthatwunk]

"hey HEY what do you have in your mouth!!! sit SIT. SPIT IT OUT GIVE IT—" but instead of talking to a dog it's me about my parents using the word overstimulated as nothing but another way to make fun of our anxious traumatized dog for doing things they find inconvenient or unreasonable or illogical (and, by extension, everyone who uses the term for legitimate reasons). (WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM!!!!!!!!!! AND ALSO WHERE THE FUCK DID THEY HEAR IT BECAUSE I DON'T USE IT AROUND THEM On Purpose BECAUSE I KNOW THEY'D BE ANNOYING ABOUT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

[zombified-queer]

The Bellhop, to me, is a dog at a house party where the host is too drunk to stop me from feeding her Meat Treats.

[the-casbah-way]

recently been on a quest to find a hot trans guy who isn’t a bottom with a puppy play kink (i have found absolutely zero)

[theselfshippingwitch]

I continue to have Thoughts about Egon's choices in Afterlife but I'm too afraid to share them cuz the Egon simps are gonna come for me

[nientedal]

Your dog is not "neurotic." Your dog is half-poodle.