#wow normal hashtags for once

[sortanonymous]

Everybody: "Sure, the Angry Birds fandom is annoying with how much they've shouted "BringBack2012", but at least they're not queerphobic!

Me: "Just look at the comments under all their Pride posts (at least on YouTube) and see if you're still right."

[toinfinitywinning]

this is get to know you time. the cringy name game at every camp in the world you do with toilet paper. enough.

Conversations and thoughts resembling the same level of random and incongruence of my Apple Music library. like Josh Groban is to Eminem: Mercy Me. a lot about everything that’s not a hashtag bc it just needs more attention.

Let the first (post) be first:

Hi. I’ve never done this before (like a seriously grown up blog on purpose. Just when just followed sad somewhat desperate poetry with a random live-laugh-love meme in there somewhere.) and Pitch Perfect.

BUT.

For 2 years I’ve had Long-Haul COVID. It’s a different kind of lonely

Thanks so much, amirite? —Gen-Z apologies if I didn’t use that jumbled acronym-word correctly.

It’s hard to keep up.

See? What am I talking about now and how did I get there…

Due to a very common symptom of LHC…

Again—hard to keep up. It’s there. Tho

And I have a lot of quirk so it’s possible I think you’ll “get” but are just nice not to tell me

BUT.

It’s already gone. Train left the Station yesterday.

Slipped on a penny.

Not Good. not even funny.

Teens with the gorgeous graffiti have to Go elsewhere. I’ve always been jealous of that kind talent.

Whole lot better than something else shiny thrown on the track and it’s derailed. There’s at least some innocence in a paint can.

WOW.

I have major attention and Brain Fog hurdles to conquer or shortly bypass. You might not be able to tell b/c of how My writing jumps around so infrequently.

Not true but still easier.

Mostly innocent and playful.

Sadly the attention part is this many years young.

Writing comes naturally. As it always has, strangely...

And why is healing so exhausting? Writing is therapeutic but My body says—can you not?

i know im not the only one asking that!

As if I have time for that too.

find a community of people suffering just as similarly and gain strength, tips and tricks.

Just, speak-screen edit my writing for me. Maybe a clarification fact-✔.

Just not wherever Tr*mp gets his.

Could be Truth Social. Monthly fee tho will cost you your Red Hat.

MYGAbad

Speaking I struggle with processing w/e skills I must have held onto.

BUT.

Since 2 years is quite. some. time.—I’ve shared many struggles and victories.

Like a Bell curve. Or a punk Domino falling then lining them up takes longer just to go down again in half the time. Repeat.

It’s very likely I Will try to talk about many things at once.

I really can’t help that. LOL.

Jury’s still out but I get most of my writing and miscellaneous musings from mom.

Dad can write the best, longest, and precious prayers and notes.

Almost delicately but like you KNOW he’s giving you a hug.

A Good mix tape’s paper Version.

Enter Run on sentences. Truly a stream by now.

Although my brain muscle is weak I’ve been encouraged by several people to Start a blog. Someday I’ll include the past 2 years of w/e pics are on other SocMed.

I can’t think of anything worse.

Yea, okay LOL.

Judgment free. Occasionally… like normal doses then have to work through that.

Mostly that’s because I knew nothing about anything before I opened My computer and started sharing My thoughts under zero context ridden or form at all.

More likely as well to offend and piss someone off. Well done you’re now one less friend popular. There’s an App for that tho-tracking people Who don’t like you.

Not sure where I’ll land with this. It may not land you either.

Because like a lot of us. Sometimes you don’t get to talk actually. No Room.

I like routine; that’s out. So it gets dull.

I’ve learned I hadn’t yet given myself the space to see all of things I can do sitting down.

But. By “given” I mean to say that perhaps I didn’t know it was there.

One Good thing I’ve gathered from this Hell.

Hell fresh by the Day! Never frozen.

So at that time and in this case of my life; sitting is fine.

Some of it isn’t too bad. The writing. You will find questionable punctuation. Run on sentences that I was running.

Relevance at all.

All around Confusion…altho connect the dots could have been seen as practice.

Or annoying even. I’d have no words.

I truly don’t set out to be funny. I could never do stand-up or improv. Or act.

Humor forced just takes and receives too much energy that might come off insincere.

Nothing on command.

Like Matt Perry’s brilliant improv wit it just doesn’t hit the same.

B/c it was scripted.

A syllabus for it Imagine.

The horn to jump off the swim block.

It’s when Life feels more scripted a lot of people close up.

That’s because you’re not in charge anymore. I’ve lost the Power.

Don’t prefer caring about whether someone likes me like I used to.

I believe you can snooze me for 30 days or say ‘I’m done w/ her’ and send Me to the cyberarchives.

Okay. Okay.

So—90% of the time I’m witty and sarcastic with a bit of cynicism, discomfort (for you), and pettifogging.

I write primarily about the questions of intersectionality.

How do things fit.

Let’s Fit it.

Until I figured out physics and calculus and basic math were behind a career in architecture and the classes I would have to take, I enjoyed taking things apart to make something else.

Not always pretty.

Could be Good what I took apart was the best thing we can’t see.

Like I’m writing questions but with wisdom not meaning to do that either,

A lot of people don’t like that. You do you! Baby.

I don’t mean to be at all harsh or hurtful. I try not to say that anything vainly.

I say it b/c a lot of what I’m writing is all of every piece of stream of consciousness tallied.

And it was a synapse connecting another.

Maybe that’s the creative part? The other side of My Brain is telling Me to ✔ on the other side so I’m like…crickets.

What I write is stream of consciousness, brutally honest and to some might be lightly offensive. In College writing this Way would’ve absolutely driven Me crazy.

Then life steps in and bonks u on the head with a newspaper but 15 years later returns the favor with an iPhone.

Or too blunt. And comes across as harsh. And that’s mostly because if I don’t have an emoji to match my real-life broken ღ I’m breaking up with you.

Self reflection: impulsive

I used to journal so much growing up.

When did I lose that innocence?

We can’t talk about folding paper into cranes and witchcraft finger fortune games anymore?

No more MASH?

Huh, maybe you weren’t born this Way. Ur Parents just drew circles nearest each other or your apple stem twist broke too soon and you want a partner whose name starts with P.

Very often I overshare. If you’re reading this this is not brand new information. No ability to say things simply. Think I’ve already. That can put me really vulnerable to more bitcoin hacks.

And then you need to figure out what bitcoin is. And whether Mario can collect coins as well in place of the hackers.

I’d say ask Tom Brady b/c of his investments but since retirement he’s been pretty deflated.

Mean people that mean to hurt.

First of all I feel sorry for you. Not in a poor you tho.

People Who hurt on purpose don’t often have any Way to vent or get a rise other than evoke feelings in and deflect toward a schoolmate.

Skip back to the part I tried talking about vulnerability. It truly is the invisible cloak and no one can see you but nothing makes sense still and you’ve only fixed what’s on the outside. Now you’re peeved AND cloaked.

At this conjunction junction next I’d suggest try shopping at Target opposed to Abercrombie then.

Feet in the water right above bankruptcy to see how things could be different only what…if?

Good ♧ seriously.

So there’s more grace given when you fall. When it’s not your month Day or even year!

Nobody is there for you!!

And My cloak is getting rained on.

Maybe gathering strength from falling will come a common sense with a 6th one but with seriously meaningful things I’ve learned and less hard knock’s Life for us.

The hard Way.

The bottom’s still there and it actually stinks stinks. Discouraging b/c there are two sides to the bottom of the cave full of stalagTITES and mites.

All the up’s and down’s. Right there. And the COVID-19 bat OMG!

You know you may not be able to fall any further further but once you’re up again you’re wondering whether you should get some cement to close that thing off.

Choose to live! But welcome to the real world—it sucks—ur gonna Love it.

Almost 4got. In the cave you dont always have to wait for Jesus to be resurrected if that metaphor comforts you but if change comes and it requires a whole new worm can of Life we already can’t handle that gets us outta the dank I don’t think we need to ask permission to the rights of that Bible passage.

BUT.

Until YOU are ready for change...

Forget it. At least you meant well. Someone can guide that horse to water but it stays pretty hydrated, so he says he’s Good. Promise. The only talking animal and it was Me Who got to hear it. More importantly, who’s gonna ☊? Care? There’s a country song finding out Who your Friends are. A lot stay lost and it’s not helpful all our Friends aren’t the same.

Missing a Good chance to find out if you’re in a similar predicament and that not always a bad thing.

At times I have literally had to be lifted off the floor.

I don’t do this at all for pity. As you read, My Pride is the biggest obstacle to let Go.

When you do?

The hard way through this.

I am angry and irritable for bouts. Sometimes I’m silly and invite karma punishments.

Go all Brimstone and every type fire and the Old Testament has nothing New-thinking and no one new to add to it. SMH. Nail a list on the wooden church door reading it is nearing endgame. Or, Just open your hotel drawer and tear out the back half.

So change then— If it were Me and it has been just not an actual hole I’d be outta there due to the spiders and crickets alone. Jiminy’s Cool.

If u can’t change and just stay a novice bunny hill—fine! Stay there. Build some confidence through experience.

And isn’t that another thing? Something specific motivates the fire under your (cuckoo!) and before you’d see the dark without any End of the tunnel and more importantly with the light aspect. All the sudden you care b/c what? It applies to you of course be selfish. Fascinating yet humbling.

Then there’s the ‘Why Me’ (?) phase? Not fully pitiful but just pretentious enough to resume the trailblaze. Bad attitude with a healthy dose of are we there yet and trying to Balance whether someone is saying …’they get it; you always feel bad’ so…KY Basketball banter? Ashamed accompanies too bc thing is a few times I did kind of scoff at phrases like I always feel bad. Like, here’s 2 Extra strength Tylenol.Alright, Ok, come test for Covid 1/29/22. It shouldn’t take going through something to empathize with or change but you could’ve listened for longer with a clear mind. Just cannot wrap your head around it and I think sometimes that’s okay. What’s next I’ll try so hard.

+ It’s 12:01am of 1/29/24 (so last night), you still can’t do math and/or struggle to add or subtract 12 so aren’t entirely sure its your sophomore year orientation, and you already surrender to what you didn’t want to get up for in the first place. Kind of silly u set the alarm! B/c Pain, confusion, Discomfort and a Deep loneliness that has very little to do with people awaits. That whole scenario is a disaster but look who’s standing and GOT. UP. period. 15 years ago that’s where I’d be. Just defeated.

THAT. Is enough some days. I say that to you struggling to believe the same but know Deep down.

Year 2 longhaul and youre wondering why there are anniversaries at all given about half are always sad or tragic. Evoking the worst on what could be the best. Might be something To think 2 minutes ago you’d ended your prayer to have a better Day. Of anything is true about everything happens for a reason I’d say having to chooose how to respond given you have the privilege at all to that just means were normal. B/c ill be honest I would not

I’m angry. WHAT is so complicated about your lack of Faith or belief prayer must go into an encrypted iCloud even the FBI can’t retrieve or interpret. Never had a chance! But I’ll add that it’s worth noting prayer doesn’t deal with its existence in transaction currencies..

Feel less Pain but feel more with it or stronger now. Or, just plain ‘ol numb. Similar to Addiction I suppose people get so used to being healthy one Way or another they don’t even notice better OR worse and no one is getting married.

Truth is.

Yea.

I’m in Hell, but I’m not on a ventilator. I’m not without relentless Support.

I still can smile but laugh just a bit before it hurts.

Something is always worse.

SomeONE is doing worse.

Somewhere and definitely rn.

I never knew I’d be dealing greed of perspective for this Long.

Something you’ll never find out about that changed your life’s trajectory where an explanation would have only confused things.

Then we still have the chance to be astonished and then genuine bc of that. Thankful. Expectant. With Faith somehow. Maybe carrying someone else’s Hope for a while might burden you less for a short time.

You dont need to see eye struggle and suffering. You dont need examples. You just know. There’s a fleeting peace u might not see again for 2 days but in knowing it’s not just you with the same bs going on.

Like here. Here is someone who needs support but in a different Way but how unique it could be to trade just for a bit. It’s not leg day this time remember u agreed a temp trade.

We don’t have to know everything. Most of the time I don’t give God the time to keep up w/ Me let alone do anything miraculous before I just hang up.

Although My Life was headed in a completely renewed direction in so many ways of recovery—

I got sick. Not because it was meant to be.

Because COVID. Possibly a rabid bat. Cracked vile or petri-dish

Everything does not happen for a reason and ppl dont like hearing that bc its an easy out. Says time might go on but this thorn wont ever heal. How do we respond? that’s the most authentic and a strength yes or no wand.

I hate cliché. Thing is tho…I think we all hate it b/c it doesn’t hold us accountable. Eh it’s fine.

Unfortunately we wouldn’t have the pretty, surprise, one of the Walk to Remember walks. All up to the of healing and forgiveness individual to each of us.

If for Me that means ive healed all I can and I’m counting on research to help Me out some more maybe I just keep going. Trust Me nothing is forgotten but you do know now that at least you were strong and capable enough to figure all that at all. And—I can do that. Some days aren’t that kind.

Maybe it becomes a goal we never anticipated but ✔ your resilience at the ticket line and saddle up, honey.this donkey only holds ____ lbs. let some things Go. That thing will still only walk in a circle but you’ve evenly distributed your baggage.

The feeling of pure joy. Which btw does still require a thesaurus b/c it is NOT the same as joy. Like a preventative Med to an acute one.

Then feel Accomplishment.

Not knowing what’s next but trying to be prepared.

It’s a surprise party we never RSVP’d and don’t regret it.

And it’s a Good thing u got outbid for that yacht.

Hell, tho, you won’t be forgotten but pushing helps the donkey move faster for now that is acceptable.

Unshun. Reshun. (This will make sense if you Watch the Office)

Flee fly. Be gone. Thankfully we hope to come out more resilient after the rip and tear and often not fully repaired sewing lessons.

But perhaps the biggest trait I’ve had to work on is My Pride. I want to do it.

I’ll give myself 3 strikes. 4 balls.

Then I walk to First.

Please do not get Me a gift.

I Love you and that was so sweet.

Would I be as generous?

Do u work, yea. It’s just one really hurts more and being tough isn’t tough at all if it’s not helping the worst hurt.

Those are sitting down, timeout thoughts.

The compression socks need to breathe.

But once the Pride slides over, let go, I get to know how it feels to very tangibly be taken care of and watched over.

Patience. The other side of a rant.

Later on that.

My main goal is to learn. Connect. Be called out if something comes off really tasteless.

Laugh at things that don’t have anything to do with being chronically sick. Laugh about what Medicine u had to administer and royally failed.

Sometimes all coupled with a handicap car-tag. No crutches either b/c I don’t like hearing I Will get better. It is a nice statement but it is impossible to be sure. Ive struggled with that b/c I know everyone believes that and means well I’ve just taken prior sick Gentry’s generalization and multiplied.

I am not making light. I think part of me is using the sarcasm as a coping mechanism.

Praise God there is something that does help the pain or at least distract from that Pain just not the one in your legs.

A codependency just a bit less severe. Embarrassing. Reason for judgment. Too easy.

If you can believe it—-I am not the same person I was 2 years ago.

For now I truly don’t know how. Pain can leave, anything traumatic can be worked on. You’ve got your scars.

I actually really think a scar is just unique as a snowflake or fingerprint. Telling so many stories. B/c a scar does mean something has healed. And it never forgets at one time it was painful. I’d prefer to see what I accomplish but I see wonder and beauty in them.

Things get pretty deep, complicated and downright pitifully sad. Vulnerable. Frighteningly true and relevant.

So I take what Good I can get in that day and pray those with LHC (Long-Haul COVID-19)

Be released.

However. On the flip tail’s side.

I’m 35 years aware there are some people who just don’t like me.

Until recently I wouldn’t have meant ‘sorry not sorry.’

I do now. To a respectable extent.

Reader discretion is advised. I promise I never set out to hurt anyone.

definitely not on purpose.

Because. Idgaf. Not bars being held. Que sera, sera.

complete transparency and seriously tho this doesn't mean i dont care. i wear my heart on my sleeve like a ding-dong ready to get hurt.

call it a diversion. we were on a break.

i just might take all of whatever hits wrong and turn that in to whatever ounce of assurance I can with the openness and to the best capability to learn new things and grow with compassion.

And back to writing—may already be just engrained but I don’t ever have a thesis, 3 supporting ideas or a better word then a conclusion.

You might find yourself confused. Reading it again prob won’t help.

Some will be really bad. Ugly. Waste of time. it was at least therapeutic for me.

Already is.

Even more might not make sense.

Read at your own risk, basically.

I have confidence but not really. Just enough not to care to change.

But I think about it. Because I’m wrong a lot.

challenge me. ill try to get through the fog.

But a lot of things have changed. in ways i might not even know Beauty in the Mess.

To sum up the above (sorry, there won’t be another summary after this disclaimer’s commercial intermission.)

I want to be as positive as possible.

Be in control of what I can. Ask for help for what I cannot.

I’m so ready to get My Life back. Trust Me and trust anyone Who tells your theyre in constant pain.

Really embarrassing I used to kind of scoff and be empathetic.

Funny how youre so sure of things.

Until it happens to you.

Suddenly it’s back to the drawing board and humility.

I wear my ღ on my sleeve. My greatest superpower and kryptonite.

What you read is as close to what you get as possible.

Balance can be unfair.

Please know that I care. I try harder than I ever had before. There are things I didn’t even Imagine could happen to someone when sick.

In all the ways I want to come out of this even better than what I envy I was entering into when I got sick.

There will be a WIDE range of thoughts similar to how i write. Mostly Sports and public figures and the politics I can comprehend.

B/c I know there’s someone out there who’s homeless because of this diagnosis. Or was deadly. Fired.

Divorced.

Ive become a bit of a nerd. Childish in some ways b/c you have to be creative…to be creative.

How do I even Start philosophizing that? So I don’t.

So I try My best to be the best I can. Inspire. Elicit laughter and new ways of thinking.

Questions.

Really tho? I just wanna be me.

thank you so sincerly to anything fromn a meme to a gift to a hug a prayer a smile, company, vibes if they can travel

but most of all

for holding hope when ive not been strong enough to.

For better or worse

for loving me.

making me feel heard.

idk what tomorrow holds but if its the same as today ill know at least i can make it and i am still beyond blessed and cared for and loved unconditionally.

even if forever.

wanna feel free, free.

to be me unabandoned.

changed for the better without knowing it.

some people dont have that option.

or even less the resource or safety to write about it.

Lastly mostly—I’m thankful for Insurance and the ability and privilege to work from home. And. Still have a job in general.

A Family and Family reserves holding me.

gentry.gonna.gents/g3

next. and if you made it this far, bless you.

thank you.

you mean more than you know to me. to anyone miscellaneous thanks as well and to my family and extended family and friends and job and insurance.

im in better shape than a lot. perspective sucks in the throes. selfish not selfish but my gosh turn the lights off. each journey is sooo different, but idk find the goodness and inspiration inbtw. There will be a rainbow soon enough, I wont make the bold claim and promise you one tho,

semi lastly and vulnerably, we've all been hurt. all going through something.

I say this every time something really bad happens. Ya know the ‘this is even worse,’ talk.

This one holds every candle.

Funny not funny none are the same and you’re never fully prepared.

and no one knows what it is you’re dealing.

give grace when I can’t sometimes.

cliché’s be damned lets just golden rule it b/c that one’s hard to do too but it sounds cute and Idont see a periodic table saying A! U! Be nice and welcoming.

I know I’ve forgotten something.

So I’ll fight.

But I still get to complain.

Feeling so entitled to this ill.

Sincerely,

Gentry

no ps you're welcome

[leatherbookmark]

oops, objective "don't read stupid ass takes" failed :(

"izzy is not suicidal, like yeah he shot himself in the head but he missed and besides that was EPISODES ago, he has since found community and joy and acceptance and saying he's suicidal is erasing all that. now ed, however," ah, well, if it was only once, then it doesn't matter i suppose.

"blackbeard is both ed and izzy, ed can't be free of blackbeard if izzy is alive, and if izzy dies, ed will never return to being blackbeard" i'm sorry. let me make sure i heard you right. even when both izzy and ed have found love and acceptance, even when izzy is his own person, having "divorced" ed in episode 3, even after izzy's shown being supportive of ed loving stede and quitting being a pirate... izzy still has to die to free ed. and this is fine and normal, and not the proof that there's something kinda Fucking Wrong with ed. sometimes you just can't be fully happy until that one person who's moved on from you and from whom you have moved on as well is fucking dead. and that's okay! hashtag self care. i gotta be honest i'm impressed. i don't remember hearing of a more fucked up dynamic, and this one belongs to a silly comedy show! truly, the writing for this show is exceptional. and by that i mean at this point i'm starting to wonder whether i've had a stroke at some point and it's only catching up to me now

"what would izzy do? just stay on the revenge and whittle? he's not fit for hard physical labor, and he doesn't want to be a captain, so he has to go!" uh oh, black pete, i have bad news for you. no no, enjoy your husband first, taste the marital bliss, make some precious memories! god knows you're going to need them once we kill him off for being useless unfit for physical labor. ha! lighthearted jokes aside, um, wow. i, er, can't quite find my words yet, so, um, well, it's. it's a pirate story, and pirates were famously all fully abled, like, can you imagine a pirate with a wooden leg doing pirate shit? that's, that's unrealistic, it doesn't-- hm? "he’s found value in not having a distinct role or purpose on the ship, decoupling his worth from the job he’s expected to perform"? aah, huh. hmm. well. well that's. hm. yknow guys i'll get back to you later i think, i need to sit on this one

"do you really think con, an experienced actor and an adult, would feel bad about izzy dying? especially after getting to explore this character so well, especially after djenks has said he took it well?" well i can't say what con would feel because i don't know the man personally, right, but if i had a chance to explore a character i really like, play him finding his happiness, queerness and place to belong unconditionally, and then found out -- halfway through the shooting, despite my character's death apparently being known to the writers from the very beginning -- that he dies shot by the antagonist who symbolizes everything he hates, not even during a fight or a duel, not even protecting someone he loves, but just because he was the nearest pirate, and his last words are all about inspiring the guy whose lil depressive episode cost him a leg to fucking, hashtag be free and live his truth, while everyone else kinda just stood by and watched and didn't even try to help, i guess because eh, if he dies he dies, then actually yeah, i would think it's a little bit unfair, i suppose. but that's just me of course

[xomoosexo]

defo not normal started off reading dnf fic every once in a while in early 2022 bc i liked the dynamic and circumstances but didn’t realize how many things in fics were like actual dnf rituals and lore and not just artistic license (literally didn’t know dream was out, george still hadn’t moved to america, or that nobody still knew what dream looked like, was vaguely aware of 2021 quiz stuff but didn’t realize how insane it actually was) and then early oct 2022 happened and i had a lot of free time that week and scrolled a bit through the dwt hashtag bc it trended no. 1 or 2 for like four days and then twitchcon happened and i was like OH WOW this isn’t ye olde rpfdom that shit is real and then i got into the actual minecraft of it all a week or two later bc it’s one of my ultimate nostalgia things from when i was young and i’ll gladly take any excuse to get back into it

this is actually quite similar to me just kinda earlier in the timeline. part of the reason I got into dnf was I needed new fanfiction to read 😭😭😭 so I read that and got interested in the dynamic and started looking up tiktoks- then got infatuated with george and we'll you guys know the rest

[l1qu1dsm00th]

Random thought of the day (day 6)

I just thought about the fact that if shinigamis weren't there Black Butler would feel kind of empty tbh and even part of the drama wouldn't have happened other than a lot of other things so slay shinigamis ig :P

[1-800-hyunlix]

𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑𝐒 | six — damage control

"Instead of tweeting about me, could you actually talk to me and tell me what i did wrong like normal human beings?" You groan, slamming your phone on the table.

The four of you decided to end the first day of vacation with dinner at a restaurant. You and Yeji practically had to get on your knees and beg the two boys, who were very much against the idea of spending money on the first day there. Though once you started getting all touchy and giving them puppy eyes, neither Beomgyu or Hyunjin could resist.

"Tsk tsk," Hyunjin hums, shaking his head and taking a sip of his sprite. "Dramatic as always, y/n."

Oh he was one to talk. Turning your head, you glare at him and kick his foot under the table. He yelps and grabs his foot and you grin in satisfaction.

"That Felix kid knows your twitter now. You’re aware of that right?" Yeji asks.

You furrow your brows. "Well yeah but why does that matter?"

Beomgyu sighs and pats your head. "You're so dense, it's cute."

You gasp and, offended, slap his hand away to which he retreats with a playful smile on his face.

They enjoy this; making fun of you. It’s easily everyone's favorite past time. Besides Hyunjin, you're one of the most dramatic people they know which is why you always end up being the butt of everyone's jokes and teasing.

"Look at this." Yeji shoves her phone in front of your face and you snatch it out of her hand.

On her screen was a twitter thread. You recognized the accounts as 'Sunoo' and 'Yeonjun', Felix's friends who you just met on twitter that same day. The tweets said something about Felix being heartbroken and banging his head against a pillow but what exactly did that have to do with you?

"You posted a picture of me like we were on a date and they saw it which means Felix also saw it which means he probably thinks you're dating me and now he's crushed," Beomgyu explains. "You broke the poor boy's heart, y/n."

Your eyes went wide as the dots connected. "Oh no!" You slap your hand over your mouth and your friends nod.

Surely it wasn't that serious, you think. You only talked to this kid three times, one of which resulted in you getting an americano dumped on your favorite sweater. He doesn't know you, you don't know him.

"But he's a stranger." You say, the statement coming out more like a question. "How could I have broken his heart when I don't even know who he is?" You chuckle.

Beomgyu laughs. "You of all people should know it’s possible to have a crush on a stranger."

With no time to take offense to that, you stressfully take a drink of your water. "No, not a crush. More like, "wow this person is attractive but I know I'll never see them again so why even bother."" You protest.

You've had your fair share of crushes on random people. It happened a lot at malls and out on the streets whenever you'd be out with your friends. Each time, Yeji would push you to introduce yourself to them but, each time, you'd chicken out. At the end of the day, they were strangers and you’d always forget about them anyway.

"The difference is," Hyunjin starts. "you ran into him twice and he started a twitter search party for you."

With a roll of your eyes, you're quick to defend yourself (and Felix). "Technically, his friends started the hashtag but,"

"The point is," Yeji interrupts and puts her fork down. She looks at you with a stern gaze which means she's probably going to say something serious. "This is the most you've ever talked to one of these randos. You can't ruin that and whatever follows by letting him think you're dating Beomgyu!"

You open your mouth to speak but close it in disbelief. Your friends sound crazy, but as much as you hate to admit it, they’re right (though they usually always are).

This would be a missed opportunity and unlike the other random strangers you’ve ran into in the past, something inside didn’t want you to brush Felix away as quickly.

“I can’t believe you guys are encouraging this.” You sigh and smiles erupt on your friends faces. Hyunjin playfully cheers and brings his glass up to yours. You roll your eyes and clink your cup with his before taking a huge swig of water.

“But you should probably take the tweet down or something,” Beomgyu hums. “Damage control.”

You let out an “ahh” and nod, quickly picking up your phone to go straight to twitter.

chapter five | chapter seven

strangers masterlist

🪐 IN WHICH y/n and felix, two complete strangers, fall for each other on vacation with only one month to spend together

♡  ⊹    °     .　˚ 　 𖧷 · 　°     .　 ♡  ⊹

A/N. my school’s first semester ends tomorrow and i’m tryna get these grades up. NOT TO MENTION! finals week is next week :\ literally HATE it here 👎🏼

TAGLIST.

@marsophilia @luvshye @geminirules @ninjaleeknow @eternallyhyucks @xhyunjinbbyx @lcvantr @meowtella @gyuury @08stay @sunflowerbebe07 @freckledquokka @hey-i-really-miss-you @odxrilove @everleigh-davina @awksfabstone @you-njinhwang @hazzaloveschopsuey @tenderfrailty @und3r4r0ck @yes-i-simp-for-2d-men @big-fool-energy @soobin-chois

send me a message, ask or reply to be added to the taglist! ends at fifty people!

[renatapatata]

UNUS ANNUS GOODBYE LIVESTREAM HIGHLIGHTS;

(From someone that watched it completely despite completely ruining their sleep schedule as a result,, worth it tho ✌)

They rented and set up an Unus Annus themed room and had a laptop between them to directly check out videos on, as well as a timer on a screen to remind us of their impending doom.

Amy (bless her soul) was the true moderator who from a?? Tech spot above them would speak into her mike like God and direct them to looking at out of context screenshots, memes and fanart from over the past year.

They scrolled through the channel from beginning to end and had the time to watch a dozen of them - particularly like a video from each 'era' ish of the channel, like the first ones or Camp Unus Annus as well as fan/their favorites.

All the editors got shout outs + were probably tasked to make a compilation video of the edits they were individually tasked to do and ended up making just absolute masterpiece tributes 😳

They watched videos such as Mark and Ethan Attempt an Escape Room, DIY Chiropractor, DIY Geriatric Simulator and so on...

Mark had never seen one of their last videos, Ethan Kidnaps Mark, which was the pre 'The Truth of Unus Annus' video and was basically Ethan's version of the Mark's Outside Escape Room from Camp Unus Annus.

DJ Burt Blackarach sent them a cake + bottle of champagne and ☠ y'know Ethan doesn't play with baked goods due to his peanut allergy and Mark cant drink alcohol but they appreciated the sentiment (we all did c'mon it was super sweet)

Mark got the bug watch for Amy that he'd accidentally donated in that early on video with Sean about Donating Toys to Charity!!

They almost killed a video that they found mediocre (but that is actually one of my faves ngl) aka How Much Caffeine Can Kill a Man but at the Last Second they realized that they probs shouldn't get rid of a video beforehand fnfnfn with the reasoning being that it could be someone's birthday video and that it deserved to live till the bitter end (that being of like. 5 extra hours)

There was lots of general shenanigans and ramblings/bits from time to time, with Mark and Ethan being pretty content and ready to say goodbye to the channel.

Oh yeah and then like at 2 hours and a half before it ended Ethan got a live tattoo done of the counted down to 0 timer as Mark failed to be normal around the tattoo artist and 'hAd' to mention the Pee Sauna and Pee Soda to her-

On the subject of tattoos they went through some amazing tattoos that fans had gotten and sent pictures of

Hashtags on Twitter were being flooded, with things such as #Unusannusisoverparty, #WeWereHere, #MarksNewHat - which, yeah Amy got him a top hat and I don't think I've ever seen such pure joy on his face than in that moment.

+++ Amy was wearing an epic suit which was their main aesthetic of half white half black...

Mark reiterates how proud he is of Ethan, of Amy... of the whole team!!! I got emo it was starting to get too real

AND THEN MARK HAD SURPRISE CUSTOM UNUS ANNUS POCKET WATCHES FOR AMY AND ETHAN,,,

So then ya they started getting a bit more speechless/emotional near this bitter end, and at an hour ish left I want to say was when they hit 1 million likes on the stream - and they kept pushing to hit that milestone since if they reached it they would reveal what was inside the coffin...

Plottwist!!! The coffin was empty but they decided to test it out and take turns in it (the material inside was apparently very soft).

So then Ethan gets in the coffin which commences a string of eulogies between em which got me way too emotional and was like a part of the stream that was just Being Brutally Honest With Each Other 2.0.

Mark basically talking about how proud he is of Ethan + how he's excited for his future endeavors and knows that despite the goofy exterior he shows he has such potential and then Eef gets out of the coffin crying which then proceeded to make chat (and me) cry fukcC

Mark gets in the coffin and Ethan talks about how hardworking and no bullshit a person Mark is and how he's learned so much from him and how Mark has never given up on him and his constant presence and support has changed him-

Mark gets out of the coffin crying, they hug it out and ya everyone's crying emotions r healthy gang and damn did we go through a rollercoaster of them...

So I'm weepy and dont necessarily remember exactly what was next, but Amy also got in the coffin which prompted Mark to just go off and give her the most well deserved praise ever since she was the one behind so many of their most creative/cursed ideas and was ghaaa Mark obviously could have talked about her for forever it was super sweet and shes just so deserving of all of that 🥺🥺🥺 gosh we really have her to thank for all the hard work that was put in and resulted in such an amazing payoff...

The last video they watched was The Barrel Song by the way with Schmoyoho, which was weirdly??? Really fitting since it was about saying goodbye and destroying something that you'd become fond of.

Evan then ominously says in response to being offered to get in the cry coffin with like. 5 minutes left on the timer that he totally went in it earlier which was him just politely saying No💖

Oops also forgot to mention but in the last hour they slowly deleted/privated the Instagram, Tumblr, Reddit and Twitter accounts.

And for the ultimate end which wow really came too fast once the numbers dwindled down to 10 minutes left Amy sat in frame in between Mark and Ethan as they clicked the delete channel button and the stream went dead.

[princecharmingmendes]

Heart by Heart | Chapter VII | Raul Mendes

                                               *secret agent AU*

Y/N and Raul have been friends ever since they could remember. And falling in love with your best friend can be pretty tricky and messy 99% of the times, add that to the fact they're constantly risking their lives side by side on the field since they're both secret agents, and the best team that's ever existed. Perfect recipe for disaster.

Oh hi, this is the seventh chapter of this series, you can find the first ones here. I can’t believe we are already halfway there! Please read the warnings on this one, if you don't feel comfortable with the contents listed on the "warnings" section, please read something else, there are a lot of other works on my masterlist and on the "fic rec" hashtag on my blog. Please give me some feedback and I hope you guys like. Happy Reading!

previous chapter | masterpost | next chapter

*Word Count: 5.5K+

*Warnings: cursing, jealousy, , man who can’t take a hint, angst (if you squint!), things might get hot in this (not smut though, sorry guys!). And Raul fluff, that’s a very important warning.

Please don’t read it if any of this subjects make you uncomfortable, feel free to check my masterlist for other writings.

*Posted: August 12th, 2021.

                                                  -*-

Raul was nervous.

Y/N knew he was anxious about something the moment he stepped foot into her apartment. They’ve known each other for so long, they’ve spent so much time together, that she was able to tell his fidgeting mannerisms and stiff shoulders from miles away. But under their current situations, him being this nervous could be a bad sign. He could’ve been discovered or something like that, which meant they’d have to leave the building in seconds and run as far away as they could.

Before she could stop herself, her eyes roamed all the expense of his body, looking for bleeding or any potential injury she could find, but none could be detected. Raul had left an hour ago for a morning run, Janet decided this was their day off since they’ve been working like crazy, so she forbid them from working on anything. So when he left after having a late breakfast with her, she wasn’t even worried about him being in danger, but seeing him all nervous was making her tense.

“Hi, doll” he said trying to sound casual but his voice sounded almost mechanic.

“Hey” she greeted from her spot on the couch, carefully placing her bookmark between the pages of the novel she picked up the other day “is everything okay?”

Raul dropped his keys and phone by the door as he nodded, moving behind the counter on the kitchen to fill a glass of water for him as he used that to calm himself down a bit “yeah, I just- do you want to go out tonight with me?”

“Uh, sure, is that all?”

Raul seemed surprised at that “So, uh, you’d go out with me? Just the two of us?”

“Of course, we’ve done that before” she said still trying to understand his reaction. Was he asking her out on a date? And if he was, wasn’t it obvious she’d go?

“Yeah, I know, but this is different, I think we both know things changed between us, sweetheart, and this could be a chance for us to forget our reality for a second and just let things happen, maybe?” the normally confident, borderline cocky demeanor he normally carried around was gone. His body language showed clearly an almost shy side of him that Y/N wasn’t aware existed.

And she did know what he was talking about. They’re always close and intimate, he’s a very touchy kind of person and that’s definitely his love language, so that wasn’t knew. But spending the night and waking up cuddled to his chest was new, different in a good way, and that left her crush into growing by the second. It was getting harder to ignore, and honestly, Y/N didn’t have it in her to avoid it that much anymore.

“Yeah, I’d like that” and with that his face lit up completely and she flashed him a bright smile.

“Yeah?” he asked as he approached her, pressing a kiss to her forehead as she nodded “good, saw this really nice restaurant by the docks, it’s Italian”

“Oh great, what time do you want to leave? Just so I can get ready” she said looking up at him as he stood up to his full height.

Raul starting pulling his shirt off as he moved to the hallway leading to her bathroom “Seven works for you?”

“It does it’s perfect, I only need to help Celine out, but I’m having lunch with her to do that” Y/N replied as she forced herself to focus on the book in her hands and not the perfectly designed muscles on his abs as he leaned on the doorframe to the bathroom.

She heard Raul chuckled as he closed the door, not locking right after. Y/N would need a few hours to get herself together if she wanted to survive this ‘date’.

-*-

She ended up spending most of her afternoon with Celine and trying to calm down. If Celine noticed, she didn’t express anything, maybe too worried about her little mission tonight, but she was a good distraction. Trying to explain the best use for all of the equipment she receive and discussing the plan over and over again. Then she was told to leave and rest, boss’ order since it was their little day off.

Y/N got back to her apartment at around 5 p.m. finding Raul napping on her couch, the little fluffy blanket she had cuddled close to his chest. She had to hold back a coo not to disturb his sleep, and physically stopping herself from playing with his hair or caressing his face. So she decided to shower while he rested, so when he was up he could have the bathroom all to himself.

Before leaving the bathroom, she peaked her head outside of the door to check if Raul was still peacefully sleeping on the couch, which he was. So she took that to her advantage as she crossed to her room with only a towel wrapped around herself as she tried to figure out what she could possibly wear. She only packed really basic outfits, and sure, she didn’t really need to dress up and Raul’s seen her with every single type of outfit, so if she got all dolled up it wouldn’t be the first time or actually impactful.

But bless Y/N from weeks ago from deciding to throw a delicate sundress amongst all the gear she brought in her suitcase. It was a backless dress, with spaghetti straps holding the sunflower dress on her body. She felt pretty and comfortable in it, and it was enough to convince her this was it. A soft knock coming from her bedroom door brought her back to reality as she ran her hands down the front of the dress nervously.

“Yeah?” was all she said.

“Can I come in?” Raul asked before actually opening the door, only doing so after getting her consent “oh wow”

“What?” she felt a little self conscious under his gaze, she knew she’s been out with so many beautiful woman and she hated this stupid insecurity rising in her chest, but she could really help it.

All of her stupid questioning and anxiety were quickly washed away when she looked at him, finding Raul speechless and still staring at her, mouth slightly agape.

“Shit, you’re gorgeous, holy fuck, come here, doll” he said as he offered her his hand, which she gladly took as he pulled her closer, twirling her around blowing a low whistle “you’re so ducking beautiful, I love this dress on you”

Y/N shook her head giggling “oh stop it”

“I’m serious, baby, you’re just so perfect, sometimes I don’t even believe you’re real” as his praises slipped out of his lips she felt her face getting hotter and hotter.

“Oh God, you’re such a sap” all she could do was cover her face with her hands.

He gave her million dollar smirk pulling her hands away to look at her properly “only for you, sweetheart”

Y/N shook her head “I still need to put on some makeup” she warned him and he nodded, placing a kiss to her forehead.

“Take your time” he then added “I’ll change real quick and I’ll wait for you to finish getting ready, yeah?”

“Okay” was all she mumbled before she saw him leaving her apartment to walk down the hall to his.

She grabbed her little bag of makeup items deciding to do something a little bit nicer than her very basic everyday routine. Y/N padded her way still barefoot to her bathroom, propping herself up to sit on the sink and get closer to the mirror, placing her items nicely next to her. Just as she decided what she was going for, she heard Raul coming in. She let him know she was in the bathroom and she wouldn’t take long, but to her surprise, as she was prepping her skin, he slipped into the bathroom silently.

“Is everything okay?” she asked quietly looking at him through the mirror.

He was standing right behind her as he lifted his hands to place them in her waist, moving her hair to one shoulder to another, placing a gentle kiss to the newly exposed skin. Y/N felt a shiver run down her spine as she fought to keep her expression as neutral as possible, but he was making it hard. His cologne making her feel lightheaded, add that to his soft touches and eyes locked with hers through the mirror.

He was wearing a silky black button up, with the first few open, most of his chest exposed, his silver chain peaking through. His classic tight black jeans and his curls as perfect as ever. Raul looked like a fucking dream and being so gentle she felt like this was a dream, and it it weren’t for the cold of his rings against her slightly heated skin, she would be sure this was just her mind playing tricks on her.

“Yeah, just like watching you get ready” he mumbled placing another kiss to the place where her shoulder and neck met, making her let out a soft sigh.

Y/N trapped her bottom lip between her teeth as she met his gaze through the glass “you’re a little shit, you know that?” and he only chuckled lowly in his chest, shaking his head “let me finish so we can go!”

“I’m not stopping you” he said with a teasing tone and his smirk, but leaned away from her exposed skin, his hand never leaving her waist “but I guess I’ll behave cause I’m a good boy

“Of course you are” she chuckled, shaking her head, as she got back to her work.

She carefully applied a few items of makeup not wanting to look like it was too much, and every once in a while, she glanced back at Raul that stood patiently behind her. His thumb rubbing slow circles at her waist from time to time as he watched every move attentively. He smiled gently at her when he noticed her staring, a slight blush coating his cheeks.

“You look so pretty, doll” he admitted at she leaned forward to apply some mascara “so so pretty”

Y/N giggled shaking her head “did you hit your head or something? What happened to you today? You’re clingier and sweeter than ever”

Raul chuckled “I’m just enjoying my day off with my best girl, that’s all, I’m just happy and glad we got to do this” and with that she almost turned into a puddle “and just wanted to remind you how pretty you are”

“Thank you, darling” she meant it and she turned her head to place a quick kiss to his cheek, feeling her face heating up considerably “almost done, only a little highlighter and lipgloss”

Raul nodded as she finished applying the products and setting with a spray, before turning around to climb out of the counter. But before she could jump to get off, he had his arms around her waist to pick her up and carrying her to her bedroom as she squealed after laughing at him. He carefully placed her back on her feet at the bottom of her bed with a smile on his face.

“There you go”

Y/N laughed patting his chest softly “thank you” and then she turned to grab her shoes and her purse “do you think I should grab a jacket?”

“It’s probably better since it’s by the waters and we might need to walk a bit to reach the place I have in mind” he said with a shrug as he bit his lip “you can take mine, the leather one by the door”

“Are you sure?” she asked turning to fully face him completely ready, and she swears she saw his breath hitching.

“Yeah yeah, of course” he was quick to nod and she smiled at him in response.

“Okay!” Y/N practically hoped to the from door to grab the look, throwing it over her shoulders without actually putting it on and she waited for him.

Raul trailed behind her like a trained puppy chuckling, extending his hand towards her “you’re absolutely gorgeous”

“And you’re insanely pretty” she added as she interlaced their fingers letting him pull her closer to his body, his warmth radiating through his opened button down and the soft material of her summer dress.

“You think so?” Raul asked with a smirk and she nodded trying to hold back a laugh with an eye roll “good, pretty enough for you?”

Her eyes widened as she realized that behind his smirk he was actually curious, maybe even a tiny bit insecure, which made zero sense to her“Are you kidding me? You’re literally like a model of something”

“Thank you, sweetheart” he smiled genuinely, placing a kiss on her forehead before pulling her towards the door “now come on, promised you dinner”

-*-

The ride to the docks was pleasant, with him goofing around and singing horribly off tune to whatever song come up on the radio (and even though he would never admit it alive, he actually had a pretty decent singing voice, while Shawn was the singer, Raul wasn’t bad himself at all). He had his hand gently placed on her thigh, not high enough to make things weird, instead it was a comforting weight keeping her grounded and lightheaded at the same time.

They couldn’t park next to the restaurant, having to find a spot on the parallel street alongside everyone else who wanted to venture on the stores and diners. Raul was quick to hop out of the car and open the door for her, to which she just laughed and kissed his cheek as a thank you, locking her arm with his as they walked around the block.

The place he picked was a small cozy restaurant, looking all warm and homey as soon as the stepped foot in it. They were quickly whisked away by the host and walked to their table as they sat on a booth by the window, watching all the boats and movement from the street. Y/N sat across from him so they could both have enough room to feel comfortable.

“This place is so cute” she was the first to break the silence that installed as the walked in.

“You liked it?” his shoulders relaxing as she nodded her head cheerfully.

She looked around before turning back to face him “I loved it, never could’ve imagined we’d be in a place like this under this circumstances, but I’m glad we are”

“Me too, I wish I would’ve asked you out on a different situation, maybe a few months ago” he said scratching the back of his neck looking anywhere but her face “and I know this isn’t a proper date and stuff, but I think it’s a great start so we could figure out where to take this, but if you want it to be a date it’s fine by me! It’s just- I-“ Y/N couldn’t let him get into his head, so she gently placed her hand on top of the one he had resting on the table.

“Hey” she called softly as he finally looked at her, so she shot him a small smile “we don’t have to label anything for now, yeah? We don’t need to worry about this right now, we have other stuff in our heads, okay? We have all the time we could ask for and I don’t mind waiting a bit longer”

Raul smiled at her and brought her hand to his lips, pressing a kiss to each knuckle (an old habit of his, it started when she punched a guy in middle school for bothering Peter, he kissed each bruise and swollen knuckle he could, saying she was so brave and so strong) “yeah, I’m normally not his nervous, and I know I technically don’t need to be, it’s just you’re too important to me for me to fuck things up”

“You won’t, don’t worry, yeah?” she offered and he nodded “now, let’s discuss an important matter, what are we having?”

“Great question and I have no fucking clue” he admitted and she laughed at him.

They ended up picking a plate for them to share since it was a big portion as the talked, and time seemed to fly around them. They’re always so easy going, conversations flowed so naturally and it felt so right, they both ended up forgetting why they’re so nervous to begin with. This wasn’t a date date, it was just an excuse to understand where they stood and how they wanted to proceed, and they’ve known each other for years, it’s not like they had to make amazing first impressions if they wanted this to work.

They decided against ordering dessert since Y/N claimed she saw an ice cream shop down the block and that she was pretty much stuffed anyway. So Raul payed the bill against her protests, but she ended up giving in with a promise she’d be the one to buy their ice creams. They walked hand in hand down the small street that was surrounded by people, and as she claimed, there was this beautiful ice cream shop.

They placed their orders as she paid and he grabbed both of their treats, and ended up deciding to just eat outside on the light breeze to watch the boats and the water. They walked to the end in the street, leaning into the small wall that kelts kids from falling or jumping on the water. They’re just lightly chatting about random stuff, recounting old embarrassing stories when she visibly saw Raul’s demeanor change drastically.

But before she could ask what’s wrong or turn around for potential triggers, she felt a calloused hand on the exposed skin of her back. When she whipped her head around to see whoever was standing behind her she was surprised to be met with the man himself. Geonoff Reyes was standing right behind her.

“Oh hello, Y/N, how are you?” his voice made her stomach churn.

“Oh my God, hi!” she smiled politely turning completely to face him, her back now pressed to Raul’s front, unconsciously moving away from the man’s gross touch and into Raul’s warm chest “I’m okay, you remember him, right, love?”

She didn’t need to turn around for Raul to know she was talking to him “oh yeah, hey man, how have you been?” he had an arm around Y/N’s waist in a second, bringing her even closer to him and she went gladly, the weight of him on her comforting.

“I’ve been good, working a lot, trying to expand my business”

Y/N squealed softly in a fake excitement “Oh that’s awesome!”

“Yeah, congrats, man” Raul said with a smile he wasn’t even sure how he managed to fake.

“Thank you, guys, it’s been hard but it’s worth it” Reyes’ said with a smirk on his face “are you guys here on a date or something? I’m not interrupting anything, right?”

“Oh no, it’s okay, we’ve been down here for a while now, but yeah, Raul has been trying to get me to come down here for a while so he made it a date night and I couldn’t really say ‘no’” she explained as she placed her hands on his bicep, holding him in place.

“And are you liking it so far?” his slightly annoyed tone didn’t go unnoticed by Raul, as he glanced at the arm he had wrapped around Y/N as if it was something revolting.

“Oh yes, it’s amazing, really, such a beautiful view” she added pointing to the boats.

“Agreed, but you’re a a better view” Geonoff chuckled at his own flirtations joke and Y/N chuckled softly when in reality she wanted to puke “well, in case you ever feel like it, I own a couple of boats, so I could take you on a ride if you wanted”

Raul almost lost his temper there, but he felt Y/N slightly squeezing his muscle and he forced himself to relax and to keep his cool.

“Oh thank you, but I’m a little afraid, rather be here on land where I know I’m safe” she said with a sweet smile, but she had a bitter taste on her mouth.

“In case you ever change your mind, you have my number” he added with a wink “I gotta get going, have a meeting in my yatch now”

“Have a nice night, man, good luck with your business” Raul forced himself to speak up and Geonoff looked up at him almost as if he had forgotten he was there and flashed him a smile, but not without looking him up and down with disgust.

“Oh yes! Have a great night” Y/N waved politely “Don’t let us keep you from getting to your meeting, wouldn’t want you getting late”

“Good night, drive home safely, yes?” Geonoff said, reluctantly peeling his eyes from Y/N’s figure.

“Of course, I’ll keep her safe, don’t worry” Raul said kissing her hair and she giggled in response.

Geonoff waved before walking in the area she supposed was where he’d climb on his yatch, and only then Y/N noticed the man in suit surrounding him, heavily armed. When he was finally far enough she let ou a breath she didn’t know she was holding, melting completely into Raul’s chest. He held her tighter so she wouldn’t slip.

“Come on, it’s getting late, my love, let’s get you home” Raul said pulling her in the direction to their car.

The whole way home Raul didn’t utter a single word and Y/N was still processing everything, so they both sat in silence, the only noise was coming from the soft purr of the engine and the low music coming from the radio. As he parked oh the garage, they both got out of the car and moved to the elevator almost automatically, still without speaking up, mostly due to possibly leaking some information.

As if he could read his mind, when she started breathing a bit heavier due to the stressful situation and the weird vibe they had between them, Raul quietly slipped his hand in hers, giving it a gentle yet reassuring squeeze. She then left a breath she didn’t know she was holding, stepping out of the elevator as it hit their floor and dragging him behind her like a puppy to enter her place.

“Are you okay?” Raul asked as soon as she locked the door and turned to face him.

She nodded leaving her shoes by the door, alongside her purse and hanging her (his) leather jacket “Yeah, just a bit shocked, you know? Wasn’t expecting him to be there, Celine’s been following him for the thing he had, but we didn’t know he’d have a meeting on a boat”

“Yeah, sorry about that” he mumbled mimicking her actions as he scratched the back of his neck.

“It’s okay, you did nothing wrong, honey” Y/N said finally actually looking at him, noticing the prominent frown on his face, a small pout on his overly pink lips “hey, it could’ve happened to anyone and anytime, you couldn’t have known”

Raul huffed a breath shaking his head as he plopped down on the couch, running a hand on his hair “yeah, but this was one of our only chances to relax for the past weeks and he ruined it everything”

“He didn’t ruin everything” she was quick to stop him, sitting down beside him, tucking her legs under her body as she rested her arm on the backrest of the small couch, stretching a bit to place her hand on his shoulder “I had a lovely time and I honestly can’t remember when was the last time I actually had this much fun on a non-date date”

Raul turned his face slightly to place a gentle kiss on her hand “really? You’re not just lying to make me feel better?”

She gasped feigning offense “what do you take me for?”

“A liar” he stated without blinking, and she was quick to try to get up and make a dramatic scene, but he was faster to wrap his long fingers on her wrist near his face, pulling her back down and in his lap as he laughed “come on, doll, it was just a joke”

“You're an idiot” she said laughing trying to climb out of his lap, but the arm that was wrapped around her waist stopped her.

Raul shook his head “no, no, stay here, sweetheart, and we’ve already discussed this” he said looking pointedly at her, but the small grin playing on his lips gave him away and she shook her head “Yes, I am an idiot, but I’m your idiot”

“I don’t mind that” she said with a shrug and he smiled at her.

“Good thing you don’t” he chuckled, comfortable hand on her back as he drew random shapes on the exposed skin of her back making her shiver slightly “you know, the jacket looked really good on you”

Y/N huffed a small laugh shaking her head“Yeah? Might steal it”

“You shouldn’t announce it, silly, but I have to admit, you could probably steal my whole closet and I still wouldn’t be mad at you” he said turning her in his lap to face him and making her properly straddle him “you look too good in my clothes for that” he added voice slightly lower.

If Y/N had been drinking water she would’ve choked, but she tried to keep her face as straight as possible “you're such a flirt”

He then laughed “Only for you, doll”

“Oh shut up, you literally flirt with yourself on reflexes and might have flirted with the dog we saw earlier” Y/N pointed resting her hands on his chest as she laughed.

But Raul shook his head trying to hold himself from chuckling “well, it’s not intentional, didn’t know you were jealous of my own reflection”

“I'm not the jealous one here, darling” she had a teasing glint in her eyes, but he didn’t even hesitate before admitting, knowing denying would be ridiculous at this point.

“What do you want me to do? Everyone wants you, I can’t help it sometimes” he said and Y/N arched a brow at him “okay, okay, most times, but you’re just so fucking pretty and smart, and talented and good and of course I get jealous”

She was left slightly speechless. Sure he always complimented her, about pretty much everything but they’re normally casually thrown, here and there, but since they weren’t so directly she was able to brush it off with a joke. But never so many in a row and looking her straight in the eye. Y/N looked down, dropping her hands on her lap and fidgeting with her ring.

But then she felt his hand tilting her head slightly up so she could look him in the eye, her whole face burning up, and he smiled so sweetly at her she was even slightly breathless. His hand came to rest on her jaw as his thumb caressed her cheeks gently “did I say something wrong?”

“No, no, no” she was quick to add “no, you’re just-”

His voice was quiet when he inquired “What?”

“So sweet and-” she sighed looking around and shook her head.

“Sweetheart?” his voice was like honey, all warm and making her feel tingly as she looked down at him again and she didn’t know what to do.

Raul was staring at her lips and they’re suddenly too close, she didn’t even notice how close to his face she was, her noses almost touching, and maybe they gravitated closer to each other unconsciously, almost like magnets. But she wasn’t complaining. Her mind having a tiny short circuit and she got lost in his eyes.

He leaned forward a bit more, giving her a tiny eskimo kiss, their lips brushing “Am I reading this wrong?” his voice an octave lower and she shook her head, leaning in the rest of the way.

She caught his lips in a tentative kiss, hands splayed on his chest, not fully confident on it, but all of her self doubts flew out of the window as he sighed happily kissing her back, pulling her even closer to him and keeping her flush against his chest with a hadn’t around her waist. She literally felt like she was on the moon, her head spinning as he enveloped her in everything him.

His hand gently caressing her face, his other one on her waist, his cool rings a stark contrast to the heated skin exposed by the low-cut back of her dress. His smell was everywhere, his thighs under him and the soft fabric of his silky shirt. Raul didn’t hesitate to slot her bottom lips between his two, deepening the kiss and taking control of it.

All this years, all his pent up emotions taste on his tongue as he swept it over her soft glossy lips, and she was quick to open her mouth to him. Bringing one of her hands to tangle on the small curls at the base of his neck, pulling on the soft chocolate curls and he could not hold back the small whine that left his lips and she swallowed it. The soft strokes of his tongue against her making her want to his him forever.

But as if he sensed it, he pulled back placing a long kiss to her lips and trailing his mouth in slow wet kisses down her neck “can't believe I waited this long for this to happen” but Y/N only hummed in response, too lost in the feeling and trying to catch her breath, pulling his hair a little harder and he let out a deep groan “fuck, sweetheart, you’re gonna be the death of me”

She then titled his head up by his hair, before glueing their lips back together, his hand dropping to her exposed thigh and her breath hitched in her throat. But before things could go any further, she heard a strong knock on her door, making her snap her head to look at the front door of her apartment.

“Y/N, sweetie, I need help” she barely recognized Celine’s voice in the fake sweetened tone she used for her cover.

“Oh shit, they must be back from the mission” she whispered as she turned to Raul with wide eyes and he looked completely blissed out “what are we going to do?”

“Honey, is your boyfriend in there? Hope you’re both decently dressed” Celine called with a teasing tone and it didn’t seem fake at all.

Raul held her face in his hand trying to get her to focus and said it in a hushed tone “it's okay, go open the door to her and we don’t have to say anything just yet, we can talk about this later, yeah? Everything’s fine, I just need a second to- uh, you know, calm myself down a bit” he added the last part a bit shyly and she nodded taking a deep breath.

“He's here but we’re decent” she shouted back with a fake laugh as she scrambled out of his lap, leaning down a bit to arrange his curls and cleaning the excess gloss that transferred onto his lips “Coming, darling, you want me to kick him out?” she offered shooing him out of the couch and aligning the throw pillows to make it less obvious.

“No, no, he can stay, it’s just Trevor again” Celine came up with the stupidest excuse she could think of.

Raul nodded to her as he hid behind the kitchen counter, casually grabbing a beer. So she took a deep breath and tried getting herself together before unlocking the door, being met with Celine looking at her suspiciously in casual attire.

“Oh hi, come in” Y/N said as she straightened her dress and pulling the door more open, watching as Celine stared her up and down but not saying a thing about her slightly disheveled state.

Instead she looked at Raul by the kitchen counter and said “Jack's coming with Tom in a sec” and sat down on the couch.

Y/N felt Raul’s gaze on her, but instead she just turned to close the door and then sitting by Celine, trying to ignore those damn butterflies on her stomach.

                                                  -*-

*Please reblog or like this post if you liked it so I’ll know.

*I’m sorry if there are any spelling mistakes.

*Please do not repost this without giving me the credit, this is a completely original piece and I do not give permission to copy this!

*Hope you guys enjoyed it!

*xoxo

-🌙

[muselixer]

Vine 2.0: The Auditions #2***

starters taken from Tom Harlock’s video! part one apologies ahead of time for length! feel free to change pronouns if need be. warning for foul and dirty language, and capslock-implied yelling :) ***warning! flashing lights 20:40 - 20:43 & 20:47 - 20:51

“What do you think of my haircut? I did it myself this morning. ‘Cause I’m having a mid-life crisis. Cheers to that!”

“When times get tough, normally people would just do crack. But sometimes, a good yeet does the trick.”

*crying into a microphone*

“Relationship advice, fuck off. Just be single and be a nun. Like, don’t suck dick, suck Jesus’s prayers.”

“Whenever someone annoys me, I just pretend that I’m Jeffrey Dahmer, and threaten to eat their nan.”

“How do you feel about the fact that they did surgery on a grape?”

“If you are a SLUT, raise your hand.”

“Sometimes I think the world would just be a better place if we all got chlamydia.”

“Um, and I like Gin and Drugs by Wiz Khalifa. That’s a good song!”

“They’re fighting? That’s not how they fight!”

“He won’t. He’s a coward.”

“It’s not that I’m not winning them all, ‘cause I‒ I know I CAN’T win them all, but it seems ALMOST as if I am LOSING them at an ALARMING rate.”

“HA, GAY! ...Wait, but I’M gay. ...HA, GAY!”

“Must suck to suck, sinking in the Titanic. Haha, I have a lifeboat, byeee.”

"That feeling when you’re, uh, with a‒ with an enemy, and you’re like ‘This town ain’t big enough for two of us,’ and then you see a coexist sticker and you’re like ‘Wow, I need to change my world view’.”

“You are the cause of my euphoria... because you’re my drug dealer.”

“And if you listen real close, you can hear the beautiful sounds of nature.” *whispers* “Fuck you.”

“Super hashtag relatable moment when you are a dinosaur from The Land Before Time.”

“I’m only gonna say this once. Get away from my man.”

“Hello and welcome back to ‘things that will not fit in the trunk of my Volkswagen Jetta’. On today’s episode: seven trees.”

“The devil produced Pitch Perfect 3.”

“YOU HAVE SUMMONED ME, YAHHHH!”

“They say it’s what’s on the inside that counts, but my insides stink.”

“It’s hard to admit, but I have a fear of long words.”

“Rawr, I just can’t wait to be king, daddy, XD.”

“Why does the wine always have to be haunted?”

“Are you sick of being alone all the time and doing the same thing every day? Well then consider being possessed by a demon.”

[ericmun]

211010 Shinhwa’s Eric Instagram Update + Comments and Replies:

I was going to order and eat it secretly, but you kept asking… Fresh gwamegi will be available from October 15. You can start pre-ordering. I already ordered earlier. I’ve never met the owner of this place in person, but I kept talking to the owner about this and that because the white snail and gwamegi I had was so good, so we got close~ This year’s launch was originally October 19th, but I pleaded him to release it earlier, so he pulled it up to October 15th. Zini gwamegi is the best! @zinisoosan @zinigwamegi #Zinigwamegi #Zinisoosan #qwamegi #DrinkSnack #BestOfTheBest If you like gwamegi, click on the Zini Gwamegi hashtag and ask the owner~ I’m a gwamegi newbie so if you ask me, I won’t know anything.

Comments and Replies:

👩🏻: Oppa do you play online games? The ID is Eric ㅋㅋ MunEric: I’m taking a break from games~ 👩🏻: I knew it. My friend said the ID was Eric, but I don't think you would have played with your real name Eric ㅋㅋㅋ Have a nice weekend oppa ㅋㅋ

👩🏻: Oppa!!!! One gwamegi on top of baby cabbage! One piece of garlic, two garlic cloves!! Put a bit of red chili-pepper paste and eat it!! Please!!! Ahhh MunEric: Memo memo

👩🏻: Why do I live in Australia… I want to try it. What does it taste like?? 😢ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ MunEric: It tastes like air-dried mackerel belly? 👩🏻: ㅋㅋㅋㅋI think it’s similar

👩🏻: The gwamegi place I frequent in Pohang gives black bean powder… It’s delicious if you dip it in black bean powder~ Try it together sometime~🙃 MunEric: Memo memo

👩🏻: It’s still hot but gwamegi is already out 😛 I love gwamegi hooray ㅋㅋㅋ I have to order!!! Oppa, what combination do you like best when you eat gwamegi? MunEric: I’m a gwamegi rookie so... I’ve only eaten gwamegi once last month since I was born 👩🏻: Ohㅋㅋㅋ Lettuce or cabbage + seaweed + green onion garlic red chili-pepper paste is my favorite. You should try it! It’s so delicious

👩🏻: Does it deliver to New York? MunEric: ㅋ

👩🏻: I betrayed the place I normally ordered from and ordered from the white snail gwamegi ⭐️ MunEric: I’m curious where you used to order from~ I want to compare 👩🏻: Should I tell you where I order from too?? They give you black bean powder~🤭🤭 👩🏻: Oppa, it’s Gupo Market

👩🏻: Try our gwamegi oppa ㅋㅋㅋ MunEric: Do you produce it yourself? It’s sold out ㅠ 👩🏻: Hee hee our new gwamegi is opening soon. After preorder, we’re going to ship starting on the 20th ㅋㅋ Wow… I’m a successful fan now because you replied. MunEric: Please give me notice when it's open~

👩🏻: Hul ㅋㅋㅋㅋ I talked about gwamegi yesterday in the post about white snailsㅋㅋㅋㅋ Thank you oppa 🙌 I’ll order quickly and eat it deliciously ❤️ MunEric: I posted quickly on my feed because of you…

👩🏻: I thought there was a second picture, so I tried swiping to see the next picture five times… You’re good at tricking me… This is making me angry…😡 MunEric: Yay~ I made you angry~

T/N: These interactions are playful because Eric re-posted the photo from @zinisoosan by screencapture so it’s showing as 1/2.

Source: muneric Translation: EricMun.tumblr

[in-tua-deep]

tua s1 rewatch with my roommate

episode one (I forgot for the first episode oops):

I have been treated to pictures of a lovely cosplay of Klaus who won a cosplay contest my roommate was in !!

Klaus putting his arm in front of Five during the funeral fight is good shit

“I have heard like nothing about Vanya” “yeah that’s pretty much how she’s treated in show as well”

“I can see why he’s the fandom favorite” - about Klaus

“Istanbul is in the firST EPISODE?”

I forGOT about the “rapists can climb” line when he breaks into Vanya’s apartment omg but also like,, his dumb arm wound

Episode two:

HERR CARLSON

Aww baby fives first time travel his little smile. Baby. Baby boy. And the dawning horror in the apocalypse baby nO

Five: you got anything stronger

Also five: takes one sip and then fills up more, takes another sip, and then immediately puts it down ?????

The motel dude for hazel and cha cha just looks at them like “yeah these are serial killers” and just rolls with it

Also actually why tf doesn’t the commission spring for better stuff?? Why would they cut costs?? They time travel? They could game the stock market so hard ?????? Give the assassins their own rooms omg

Also why didn’t five like. Crush his tracker. Why did he just leave it whole and intact outside of the Griddys.

Forgot how much I love Agnes

(Oh man it is storming bad here it just BOOMED)

Also idk if Diego actually deserved that taser hmmmmm but also like,, communication lads five was literally right there killing people and Diego is like “hmm something is up here” like. Yeah Diego ur big brother “I can get my sibling in trouble for something” senses are tingling

Wow I really did repress all these Allison and Luther scenes huh. Also it’s still super cute that Allison read Claire moon books

Allison: dads heart gave out, which wasn’t how I was expecting to find out dad had a heart but it tracks

“SHUT YOUR PIEHOLE BEN... said with love 😘”

Did five actually sleep at Vanyas?? The sofa looks undisturbed but he had to wait for work hours to interrogate the meritech people,, five,, please sleep. The whole “IF YOU CALL ME YOUNG MAN ONE MORE TIME” interaction makes more sense with five on. Zero sleep.

I didn’t remember that Patch straight up knows about the umbrella academy oops. Like she clocks Diego as overcompensating for his childhood. Queen

Is that an umbrella adademy Diego cross stitch on Diego’s wall?? Did he buy that? Make it?? Did grace make it?

Vanya, walking into the academy: five??? five? pspspspspsps

Also like. Who was Vanyas therapist??? Clearly they did not help her

Aww the tow truck driver :(

I know the show wants me to dislike Patrick I KNOW,, and I think her fathers funeral is extenuating circumstance?? But still Patrick is valid for not giving an inch regarding his ex who mind controlled his child. Vanya didn’t really deserve Allison snapping at her but like. She had some good points. Allison arguably would have had to deal with vanyas book more than anyone else

Five smiling proudly at Klaus’s drama at meritech bless but also KLAUS DONT BREAK GLASS ON YOURSELF

Me, spotting Leonard: BASTARD

Love how everyone greets Diego in the gym and don’t question all his knives or anything like “yeah that’s Diego he lives here and loves knives :)”

Why could Leonard have not been like. A normal ass guy. Vanya needs friends who sympathize with her holy shit get this person some socialization

Pogo really did have to lead these kids by hand to the recording rooms because literally no one was super invested in reginalds ~murder mystery~

ahafahJAGSJWGAI MY ROOMMATE JUST SAID POGO IS THE BEST CHARACTER SO FAR,,,, I will probably never include pogo in my fics because I do Not Care About Him lmaoooo

Aww five does to see Dolores and being like “it’s been a rough couple of days :(“,,,,, baby,,,, but also tag yourself I’m hazel going “elastic wrist splint yesssssss”

Five I am begging you PLEASE get some sleep

OH FIVE SHAKING DIEGO IN THE APOCALYPSE TO TRY AND WAKE HIM UP OHHHHH OH :(

Episode 3:

my roommate is super faceblind which is an issue bc she identifies people mainly by hairstyle so seeing the s2 stuff on tumblr is tripping her over bc she keeps seeing diego and going ??? who is that again? bc she’s seen his longer hair

okay there is no way that the eggs that grace put in that pan are the ones that ended up on the smiley face breakfast plate,,, but also grace that whole scene was a mood honestly i would be like “okay maybe mom killed dad BUT he deserved it sooooo”

“what the FUCK” - my roommate about cha-cha’s shitty wound care where she holds a curling iron against her arm

i didn’t remember that five got shOT AT THE DEPARTMENT STORE did i just erase that from my memory?? i mean yeah it’s a graze but he stitches it up and then slaps a bandaid on it so he has a wound that needed stitches on his shoulder for the entire show ??????? is he okay???? that would make moving your arm,,, painful,,,,,

a bandaid just slapped over it i’m actively yelling

“Sometimes when I see a million gifs of a show before I watch I get really surprised when they talk but he is exactly what I expected” - my roommate, about five

“I noticed they’ve only really showed diego in really badly lit scenes so far” - my roommate defending her lack of ability to recognize diego

i’m still laughing about pogo literally having to point out the murder tapes and now allison and luther are investigating and just. allison is lowkey defending grace and i’m laughing

“why is he saying woodwork is embarrassing that’s like one of the most middle of the wood hobbies to have. you’re respectable to grandpas who used to carve wooden ducks AND twenty-year-olds who can’t make anything to save their lives” - my roommate on leonard peabody

“i think he’s already crossing some lines he’s met this lady ONCE” - roommate on leonard/vanya

five having flashbacks in the car :(

did allison and luther draw straws for who went to fetch which sibling?? allison was like “dibs on vanya” and luther was just like “aww :(”

five luther and klaus in the van - BOYS NIGHT BOYS NIGHT let’s go pick up diego

“the coat he’s wearing does have a nice swish to it” - roommate about klaus’s coat

luther being like “you’re just as messed up as the rest of us and we’re all you have” like luther,,, baby,,,,, you literally ARE all he has,,,,,, his family is the only thing he’s really cared about since he was thirteen and maybe before then :(

“I can’t tell if those are supposed to be cake or yeast donuts... i think extruded donuts are cake donuts but she said she lets them rise so maybe they’re yeast?” - my roommate focusing on all the things that i do not

sometimes i forget that hazel and cha-cha pretended to be private detectives trying to find a lost child in a potentially dangerous situation,,, five would be disgusted

“she shouldn’t get a vote” “i was gonna say i agree with you” “she should get a vote!!” this is peak sibling energy honestly i think i’ve had that exact interaction with my siblings voting for a movie or something

“hashtag android rights” 

“I want to be the tailor who gets a call one day that says ‘i want you to make clothes for a chimpanzee”

is it telling that only luther in the flashback didn’t really talk to grace at all,, i mean five didn’t either but i think he was gone by that point in the flashback ???? 

wait diego tells grace that she worked for him for thirty years,,, the kids are 29 and later it’s implied she was built bc vanya kept killing nannies when they were like four but maybe s2 clarifies that some more?? or diego just is rounding up

“that’s an interesting fabric to her skirt” - my roommate about grace’s outfit

forgot that hazel and cha cha broke the door to the manor busting in,, do they ever fix that?? we’re only at episode three do they spend the rest of the season with their door open to anyone on the streets

okay that bathtub is WAY too small to allow for klaus to be moving his elbows about like that underwater smh

“how is HE useful on mission??” my roommate about klaus

where is the SECURITY SYSTEM??? luther LITERALLY said that reggie was more paranoid and yet some assassin can just bust down the door and have unrestricted access????? he built a whole ROBOT but no security system????????

“maybe it was like,, practice for the kids? someone breaks in and they take care of it? wait no that doesn’t explain the thirteen years they’ve been gone?”

“why WAS he on the moon?” - about luther

“I want to see what she’s embroidering!!” about grace during the gunfight in the living room she’s absolutely ignoring diego getting shot at

what is a rope-a-dope,,,, diego yells “EVER HEARD OF A ROPE-A-DOPE???” at luther but like. no i haven’t. what does that MEAN diego

aww i forgot they played sinnerman, love that song

“what are you doing dude, rumor has it you’re not shooting at me that’s all you need to do” i mean. the roommate is not wrong. allison could just end the fight with a yell. i understand she’s pissed off and has rumor trauma but like cha cha is actively trying to murder them

how is luther not winning he literally has super strength. does hazel have super strength? just punch the man and knock him out jesus y’all suck at this smh

why is there such intense music we all been knew about luther’s strength - oH HIS BODY

forgot about that

is it allison’s fault that klaus got kidnapped because she didn’t literally just rumor them to give up?? like she literally has that power. she could have been like “i heard a rumor you left and forgot about us” it didn’t even need to be violent?? i understand she has rumor trauma but this i feel is allowable circumstances

diego showing his worry about vanya by getting angry which honestly i think all the siblings do that rip none of these idiots have even heard of healthy communication in their LIVES

you know,, i don’t think vanya can drive. she takes the bus. she took a taxi to leonard’s house. we see her walking a lot. does she know how to drive?? i imagine that the umbrella academy were taught bc of mission related stuff but,,, vanya wasn’t?? that’s just depressing tbh

[zappho]

Some Meta on Murdock and mental illness

Generally speakig, The A-Team is a dumbass, light-hearted comedy with action on the same level as youtube poop videos. Obviously there isn’t alot of depth to be found here. The show had tons of different writers, all with their own take on Murdock and none of them offer any clear info or a proper backstory for the character. It’s basically up to the audience to fill in the blanks and that’s exactly what I’m gonna do by overanalyzing the mess that is the show’s canon.

The question of whether Murdock is ‘‘‘really crazy or just faking’‘’ has been around for over 30 years, but I’m gonna argue that he’s both.

When Kelly visits Murdock in the psychiatric hospital and confronts him about why he’s living there in the first place he gets instantly uncomfortable.

He really didn’t want her to ask, it’s why he’s been avoiding her. Joking about how you’re hashtag crazy™ is easy; having to admit that you’ve been institutionalized for over 10 years because you have legitimate problems is much harder. (Sure, the VA also gives him a convenient cover from the military police, but if that was the only reason for him to stay he wouldn’t react to Kelly’s question in this way). “It’s a long story”, is all he says. There are clearly some painful memories here that he’d rather not delve into.

He’d have to explain how he got committed in the first place. We know that after the gang was arrested for war crimes in ‘71, Murdock was still serving as a pilot in ‘72. They never clarified when and how Murdock was sent home, but i’m guessing without his only friends around and it being, you know...war, his mental health eventually deteriorated until he received a medical discharge straight into the VA hospital.

After Murdock gets wrongly released in season 1, instead of his friends being worried about his supposed cover getting blown they just shrug it off and go ‘Oh well!’ (This could all be due to the show’s inconsistent writing, but you know)

No longer being an inpatient would finally allow Murdock to be employed as a pilot again (his #1 passion), and yet he seems really disheartened about the situation. Even though the hospital gives him no privacy, the staff barely respects him and he spends most of his time there by himself, he still prefers to stay.

For a character who’s allegedly cheery comic relief, he sure gets his feelings hurt alot, mainly when dealing with other people’s ableism towards him. B.A. and Face are obviously just palling around, just guys bein’ dudes, they don’t want to hurt Murdock for real, they probably don’t realize how sensitive Murdock is about the subject. Usually he plays along or shrugs it off, but sometimes he gets genuinely upset. In the first half of In Plane Sight he’s so fed up with it he tries to ‘‘act normal’‘ until #Woke #Queen Hannibal reassures him that they love him the way he is.

PTSD was barely starting to become a diagnosis when the show first aired, but I think it’s fair to say he suffers from it. The pilot episode states that he has anxiety, paranoia and memory loss, so that checks out.

With PTSD you don’t just have to deal with flashbacks and nightmares, but also intrusive thoughts, images and memories about your trauma. Murdock copes with it by getting hyperfixated on a new activity or pretending he’s someone else. This is were alot of people will go ‘‘haha wow look how wacky and insane he is! He’s talking to his sock 😂’‘. But Murdock knows it’s all made up nonsense, he just needs his mind to focus on something else. What’s important here is that he never lets his coping mechanisms distract him when he’s flying, first of all he’s already focused and also he doesn’t wanna crash (lol). There’s a believability to his actions that’s missing in the 2010 reboot.

In the episode where the gang helps out the vietnamese cook from the POW camp where they’ve been tortured, Murdock tries to distract himself with some golfballs. He soon starts projecting his trauma on them however.

I think this is the only time in the show where Hannibal tears up, so this scene is kinda significant. As the leader, he probably blames himself for getting his team captured and tortured, and seeing that Murdock is still so strongly affected by it gotta hurt. 

Compared to the rest of the gang, Murdock’s alot more fucked up over the war. There are subtle changes in his voice whenever he talks about it. In the ep about their old war buddy Ray, Face was reminiscing about how cool of a guy Ray was for borrowing him his helmet, Murdock’s memories meanwhile are much less upbeat. ‘My bird was the only one left in the sky’ he remembers while we see an image of a field filled with shot down helicopters. His experiences are bound to be different from the other three as a huey medevac pilot. Murdock did have one off-screen breakdown in the present timeline, after collecting every newspaper article about the upcoming execution of the team in Firing Line. Apparently it was bad enough that he had to be restrained. It’s been 10 years, so he’s recovering and getting better, but he’s still not all there yet.

Everyone knows Murdock’s just messing around when he’s being interrogated by the military about his connections to the team, but like what about when the military isn’t there; or NO ONE is. He often talks to himself or just puts weird shit in his mouth for no reason while nobody’s paying attention to him (eating leaves, paint, an entire raw egg, a frozen sandwich). Sometimes he’s just unhinged like that.

Another thing that’s brought up a few times in the show is his anxiety. Murdock’s often seen being generally tense, sweaty, uncomfortable or reflective in the background of a scene. (I have no idea if this was a deliberate acting choice but Dwight does have anxiety irl so who knows if that had anything to do with it, I mean who knowsssssss, i’m just observing)

He’s got a habit of fidgeting with his hands or touching his neck when he’s stressed out. Murdock also does it when he’s telling his psychiatrist Dr. Richter about his dreams “If you were me, wouldn’t you be terrified to put your head down?” he asks him.

Richter isn’t really paying attention though, because he’s so used to Murdock’s non-stop clownery, he can’t exactly tell when his patient decides to be honest about his feelings for once. He just replies ‘Well only if it was a bad dream’. Which really irritates Murdock because what other dreams besides bad would he have? So he derails the session by rambling some made up bullshit on purpose.

Richter knows that Murdock uses humor and fantasy to cope, but he’s obviously tired of Murdock’s cringe antics, he just wants to help him. But Murdock doesn’t like to open up and be confronted with his traumas again, he just wants to avoid talking about it all together. There are still parts of reality that Murdock’s not ready to deal with, or he wouldn’t always retreat into his fantasies.

Before he can continue messing around a helicopter passes by and Murdock freezes for a second. Richter assures him that the helicopter is real; Murdock nods and starts fidgeting with his hands again, seemingly in deep thought. We know from the season 4 finale that he hears the sound of rotor blades when he dissociates. He was definitely being sincere here.

After getting drugged by some military goons he has a few brief flashbacks (feat. cheesy 80′s neon filters): seeing the chopper fly away, getting stuck in a potted plant as if he was walking through the jungle, being surrounded by heavy smoke and sparks from the burning carpet).

Despite being the 2nd highest ranked team member, Murdock dislikes being in charge and gets severly distressed when anything goes wrong that he might even be slightly responsible for. Most notably is the episode where the owners of the diner get kidnapped after Murdock got knocked out by evil cowboys or hill billies or whatever they were. Instead of telling anyone what happened, he’s just lying on the floor, repeatedly calling himself a failure until the others show up.

Seems like Murdock gets startled more easily than the rest of the crew as well. We often see him flinch when guns go off; one time he literally wore fluffy ear muffs to a backalley shootout.

This short moment from Family Reunion always stood out to me. Face opens the van door a little too quickly and it takes Murdock so off-guard he has to take deep breaths to calm down.

Murdock sounds exhausted when he has to remind Face not to sneak up on him. Face also realizes he messed up, he just wanted to check up on Murdock and not trigger him on accident.

When it comes to portrayals of mental illness in fiction there’s obviously better representation out there than Murdock. But sometimes you just wanna see a mentally ill character have a good time instead of being miserable 24/7. And Murdock’s already got the worst behind him, he’s had therapy for years and friends who love him. I just think that’s refreshing to see, especially with a character who’s so kind and openly affectionate.

[annypuff]

this is a long post srry

i think that’s the end of my ~* shirtless omg they have abs *~ series of hq fanart!! i started this on tiktok as just a practice on drawing mens’ bodies, i didn’t expect some of them to make views 🙃🙃 and then i started posting here again (this is technically a multi-fandom blog that i’ve had for YEARS) and i also didn’t expect some to get attention!! like wow thank you guys 😭 im also really sorry if i didn’t get to a character you love~

also, i didnt expect to hit 500 followers either!!! i wanna thank you all truly!! even though i’m just a hobbyist-artist it really means a lot and makes me feel really good knowing my stuff is being seen and my love for drawing keeps growing!!

i do plan on actually going back and cleaning some of them up (i love bokuto but i didnt do him justice at all, his is my least favourite 😭 def on the re-do list), probably reposting them together with their teammates, and then selling them on redbubble as prints if yall ever want it!! (i’d rather you not print these yourself haha)

i also still am considering doing some super spicy nsfw 18+ artwork and i want to put more effort, which means more energy and time taken, so im looking at doing a kofi/patreon sort of thing, which also hopefully helps weed out minors.

anyways that’s a thought for another day, for now i’m going to clean the doodles up, post on redbubble, and start doing just more “normal” fanart lmao.. prob gonna see a bit of JJK though bc 🤪🤪hyperfixation on gojou satoru🤪🤪 but anyways LOL

once again, thank you guys so much 💖 💖  i love talking to you guys and i LOVE the hashtags you guys add lmao ALSO!! this is a side blog so i respond from my main blog :) but also please dont be shy with talking to me!! on twitter too!!

also wanna thank all you content creators too for fueling my love for HQ!! :) fanfic writers are fucking insane and you guys are doing it for FREE like hELLo? big brains deserve proper appreciation!!!

[babblingblondegenius]

Happy Mancrush Monday!

Wow, what an amazing weekend!  Thanks to Stephen, Emily, and our awesome fandom for some quality content and great stories.  It was truly a much-needed reminder of why I loved Arrow and joined the fandom in the first place.  One of the highlights was SA saying Oliver loved Felicity ‘six, seven seconds after I first saw her.’  He didn’t specify which first encounter he meant so I’m gonna assume both and grin in sheer delight at what both those encounters had in common. ;)

Hard to top but not to be outdone, EBR’s response about their meet cute was a very special song lyric she created on the spot.... From the moment we met,

These are bullet holes and I love you 

While initially it just struck me as cute, funny, and catchy, it also got me thinking about how many times bullet holes have played in part in their relationship. 

I have no doubt that Oliver Queen would have searched every floor of Queen Consolidated and the world if need be to find the adorable blonde girl with the amazing legs who babbled at his picture and made him smile during one of the darkest times of his life.  But a bullet-ridden laptop sped up his search. 

Remember that the script said Felicity was the one who was supposed to be smitten in this moment?  LOL.  That boy was smoaked and there was no going back.  One of my favorite parts of this scene are Felicity’s first words to Oliver ‘I know who you are, Mr. Queen.’  Truly prophetic in nature that she would be the most instrumental person in helping Oliver see the hero within him. She has always been the one who lights his way and can get a smile out of him. Bless their organic chemistry that changed the trajectory of the entire show for the better.  And thank you Deadshot for the bullet holes. ;)

Emily then mentioned Oliver probably loved Felicity by the time he hides in the back of her Mini Cooper.  

Ironically, also because of a bullet hole from where his mother shot him.  

We knew that Oliver trusted Felicity’s expertise from the moment he met her.  But this scene took it to the next level.  Oliver trusts Felicity with his life, not to mention his secret identity and the location of his vigilante home base.  One that would feel more like a home once he asked Felicity to join the team and be an even more vital part of his mission and life.  Moira Queen did her son a solid. :)

So now that Steve and Em have confirmed Oliver and Felicity were in love with each other in season 1, these other bullet hole scenes carry a new significance.

Like when Count Vertigo kidnapped Felicity and Oliver left his mother’s trial in a rage.  He confronts The Count as an angry (and hot) amalgamation of the Arrow and Oliver Queen in the suit with the hood down.  Their verbal sparring takes a violent turn when the Count shoots at Oliver and grazes his arm.  But it isn’t until the Count directly threatens Felicity with a syringe of vertigo that Oliver responds with three rapid-fire arrows that send the Count out the window to the death.

Oliver immediately goes to check on Felicity and she immediately reaches for the wound but Oliver assures her ‘it’s nothing.’  Because in that moment, to him, all that matters is her.  He would do anything for her, including breaking a vow he made to himself.  There was no choice to make.  Kudos to you, Count Vertigo.

As much as Oliver tries to protect her, Felicity still has free will and she is a brave badass in her own right.  This is especially evident when Felicity jumps in front of Sara and takes a bullet in the shoulder.  We don’t get to see Oliver’s initial reaction while they are still out in the field, but the aftermath back at the lair once Diggle has given Felicity ‘aspirin’ for pain and Sara has stitched her up.

Oliver wasn’t just asking about her bullet wound here.  Felicity had been feeling left out and Oliver wanted nothing more than to assure her that no matter who else comes and goes, she would always be his girl.  

Full disclosure: I’m not crazy about this scene in the context of the show at the time for numerous reasons I won’t go into here.  But at face value, Oliver looking at Felicity with so much love and pride makes my heart melt.  The way he gently cups her face and talks to her in the soft tone that is reserved only for her makes all of me melt into a puddle of feels.  Thanks for your time, Clock King.

For a show called Arrow, Oliver did on occasion deviate from the norm by using other weapons.  Like LOA swords to dual the Demon’s Head, which did not well the first time and Oliver was stabbed and kicked off the side of a mountain.  No worries, Tatsu had penicillin tea so Oliver recovered so they could fight again a few months later (I would normally lol here but Felicity is not amused so I won’t).

 Our boy does much better this time, defeating Ra’s with his own maneuver.  It’s Arrow so he doesn’t have time to celebrate before snipers shoot at him and he is sent off the edge of a very high bridge since apparently the theme of season 3 was to wound Oliver and then have him fall from a great height.  But instead of a cold snowy ledge, his fall is averted by the Atom swooping Oliver out of danger.  I’m sure Oliver is a big enough man that he would have thanked Ray but he didn’t have to because it was his girl who saved him.  The girl who has always saved him.  His Felicity.  And his smile is pure awe, pride, and love just for her.   

To tell you the truth, I’m not sure that Oliver was actually struck with any of the bullets.  It looked like he was but then in the next scene back at QC/PT, he didn’t seem wounded other than his hand.  Either way, we appreciate your shipper service, incompetent Star City police force.  

This night started out so beautifully.  Oliver united the citizens of Star City to gather for a lighting of the Christmas tree as a symbol of hope against the forces of evil.  But Mayor Handsome had bigger plans as he took an unsuspecting Felicity on stage with him to ask if she would make him the happiest man on the face of the earth (as if he wasn’t already; look at that dork’s ginormous smile).   

Felicity said yes, like she told him she would and Oliver slid the big bling onto her finger.  They shared a sweet snug before running off to the waiting limo.  Which still makes me laugh.  I mean on one hand, f*** those ungrateful Star City bitches but Olicity didn’t even spare them a glance before they peaced out. LOL

More snugs followed in the limo and they were so soft with each other in a state of genuine bliss. But those forces of evil retaliated swiftly and Felicity was caught in the crossfire. Oliver went from serene to shock in a matter of moments.

The bullet damaged her spinal cord and caused paralysis in the lower half of her body.  Oliver was consumed with rage and guilt, leaving Felicity alone at a time when she was feeling incredibly vulnerable. When he finally comes to see her, they have an honest and open talk where Felicity shares her fear that Oliver wasn’t there because of her condition and she even gives him an out.  One that he absolutely does not want and proves it to her by pulling her engagement ring out of his pocket to place back on her finger with the words ‘for better or worse.’

I still think this scene was one of the most heartfelt and well-acted scenes of the entire series.  And this will always be their real wedding to me.  Just the two of them.  Making a vow to each other.  Finding strength in each other.  Always. <3

Whew!  I haven’t done a post like this in quite some time and I have to say, it feels good to feel good about Olicity again.  I hated that the show ruined my enjoyment of them for a while cause they really are a one-of-a-kind and once-in-a-lifetime pair.  I want to dedicate this post to @cruzrogue​ who seems to be enjoying the these are bullet holes and I love you hashtag as much as I am. :)  

Happy hugs for all of you, fam!  And tons of appreciation for the fandom’s talented gifmakers!  Gif credits to:  primogif.com for the Felicity babbles gif; and fanforum.com for the Felicity these look like bullet holes gif. 

[triptychexe]

TROMME SECOND MINI ALBUM - PRESSURE [2017]

Triptych’s all-male subunit comes back on April 11th, 2017 with the most personal album that the co-ed group has released to date. PRESSURE doesn’t just deliver the hip hop and EDM influenced sound that Triptych is known for, but it also tackles lesser-discussed topics (such as men’s mental health) that has personally impacted the trio

△ TRACK BY TRACK.

1] ME

Being in the spotlight means that the boys have frequently adjusted their true personalities to appease others. 

This song states the importance of being true to oneself and letting your true colors show.

Written by Eli and Teo.

2] WALK

Sometimes when things get too much, a nice long walk to clear your mind is just the right thing. Tromme stresses the importance of taking time for yourself in this song.

The goal for this song was to make listeners feel rejuvenated and stable, like how one would feel after taking a break for themselves. 

Written by all three members. 

3] NIGHTMARES

The title track is a very honest and raw look into Tromme’s personal mental health. The song talks about the things that scare them and evoke anxiety to them. 

This song was chosen because even though it’s a very personal statement, they wanted others to listen to the lyrics and feel less alone in their struggles. 

Written by all three members. 

4] BY YOUR SIDE

The boys go for a slower rnb sound for this track, getting a little sentimental with their fan base.

Even though Tromme’s fans are not in their life personally, this song expresses how Tromme can heal Artychs through music. 

Written by Teo.

5] BEST FRIEND

It wouldn’t be a Tromme album without a cute love song. This song is pretty straight forward. It’s all about falling in love with your best friend.

This is easily the most pop-influenced song that Tromme has released, but it’s an easy track to listen to and it became the most popular b-track.

Written by Teo and Asa.

6] HEART TO HEART

Tromme are as close as brothers and they certainly wouldn’t have made it this far without each other there for support.

The song is meant to normalize men being vulnerable with each other. Nothing wrong with telling the homies you love them.

Written by all three.

△ THIS ERA.

It may come as a shock to some, but Tromme was actually the least popular subunit prior to this mini album. 

Putting this slightly controversial album out was kind of a leap of faith for Tromme, but they couldn’t be happier with the result. 

This era really bonded the boys together. Eli and Teo started being more honest about their anxiety and not shrugging it off like they used to. 

Asa, who has never experienced anxiety or any other mental health set backs, learned a lot this era from his group mates. Fans could tell he was starting to mature more this era and he started being a little more patient and understanding. 

So all around healthy growth! 

Since “Pressure” did really well in sales, Tromme and HBH Entertainment donated a good chunk of their funds to different mental health organizations in Korea. 

The boys actually went on Hello Counselor as guests for their promotions and made their episode the only watchable episode in the whole damn series. 

Tromme was really serious about raising mental health awareness not just in young men but in young people in general.

△ FANDOM BEHAVIORS.

Artychs actually started being so much nicer to each other? Like since Tromme was preaching about mental health awareness, Artychs realized that they can be really mean online lmao

A lot of fans took part in #ArtychsAreBrave, a hashtag that Artychs trended to share personal health stories and show support to one another. 

Tromme started getting more fanboys this era? Probably because their lyrics were more relatable to young men this time around. 

Accounts with big followings even pitched in and raised money to send to different mental health organizations across the globe. 

So basically, Artychs weren’t being useless for once! 

I have no fan wars to report on for once wow. 

[joanofarchetype]

A Connecticut Yankee...a kid...that's all well and good but we really don't talk enough about the werewolf in King Arthur's court

This is not a shitpost — in Le Morte D'Arthur, Sir Thomas Malory makes mention of "Sir Marrok, the good knight that was betrayed with his wyf, for she made hym seven yere a wer-wolf". Of course, Malory lifted the tale of the werewolf knight straight outta "Bisclavret," which is one of the Twelve Lais of Marie de France. And it is...wild. There's also "Melion," an anonymous Breton lai which along with "Biclarel" is believed to have evolved from the same source as "Bisclavret". In this post we're gonna refer to the protagonist as the "knight" or the "wolf-knight" and tell a somewhat composite tale.

(A note: this takes place well before commonly established werewolf lore, which crystallized thanks to Universal's The Wolf Man. Curt Siodmak wrote all that stuff about the full moon and silver bullets in 1941 so well that our common imagination accepted it as ancient fact.)

So anyway our guy is a knight who disappears for a couple nights a week and his wife is like ?????? dude ??????? where ??? do you ???? go ??????

And my dude is like "babe I love you but I can't tell you because you won't look at me the same" and she's like "I am your wIFE you better tell me right quick or otherwise have a good nose for almonds in your oatmeal" (jk she doesn't say that because if she did he might've gotten a little foreshadowing of her treachery, but alas, our man was a sucker)

So the knight tells her he's a werewolf, and on the nights he disappears he's wolfing around the countryside and his wife is like !!!!!!!!!! on the inside but makes sure her face is only 🤔 on the outside

(Mind you, Marie de France goes into how the wife is grossed out because she shared her marriage bed with a beast, which has some interesting implications but we'll get to those later)

She starts digging about his transformation until he explains how in order to return to his human shape, he *needs* to put his human clothes back on or else he'll be stuck as a wolf, at which point wifey is 👀👀👀👀

Wifey's like, "but if ur in wolf form, how do u remember where u put ur clothes lol" and the knight's like, "no no, I retain my human mind even in wolf form and besides, I always put them under this one rock outside this cave"

now bear in mind he's never been able to talk about this to anyone so he's pouring his heart out about his deepest secret which he kept even from his wife & I know we're all pretty used to medieval repression but imagine how it must have felt to share this secret at long last 😥

So to recap:

knight: 🤵🏻🛡🐾🌕🐺🤫😅😍♥️💐 wifey: 👰🏼💭🤢🤔👀🧐💡💡👔💍🔪🔪🔪

Our knight is like "yeah so I was born this way and it's just a part of who I am and whew it's kind of a relief to finally be talking about it with someone"

Wifey nods along 🤔🤔🤔 because she's had a💡moment and is 🍳 up a plan...

so the knight has unleashed (pun intended) his secret for the first time in this life and is feeling just dandy, but what he doesn't know is his wife is already plotting his downfall with her...LOVER (dun dun dunnn)

wifey & her secret lover steal the knight's clothes when he's transformed, essentially trapping him in wolf form, get him declared dead in absentia, marry each other & take over his lands

and the royal court goes for this because at this point the whole kingdom knows about the knight's habit of disappearing for days at a time (because medieval nobles are messy gossipy bitches who live for that drama) so they just assume he abandoned her

*~*ONE YEAR LATER*~* (or if you're Malory, *~*SEVEN YEARS LATER*~*)

the king & hunting party corner the wolf-knight in the woods. knight is overwhelmed at the sight of his monarch & runs up to what for all he knows might be his oblivion to kiss king's feet at which point king's like, "THAT'S NO ORDINARY WOLF. HE SHALL JOIN MY COURT IMMEDIATELY."

the wolf-knight goes to live at court where he's basically regarded as a knight (so the takeaway from this part of the lai is that a literal wild animal had a better chance of becoming a knight in ye olden days than a peasant or a woman but I digress)

anyway so there's a celebration at court and who comes to the party but the ex-wifey's new husband, now a baron. understandably, the wolf-knight does NOT react well and attacks him, and the reaction of everyone at court at this near-mauling isn't to say "whoa whoa maybe bringing a wolf to court was a bad idea" but rather "huh, this wolf has never been hostile towards a human before so obviously this guy must've personally wronged him." which is...progressive.

so the new husband/baron/co-conspirator is all "wtf keep it away from me" and the king is like "idk man, what were you wearing? maybe you smelled like royal beef jerky at the time. seems like you were asking for it"

king & the other barons take wolf-knight to the new baron's property. they just need to figure out what's going on because they're not ready to take sir wolf to his final veterinary visit, u feel? they're attached. now get ready for this next part because it's a doozy.

ex-wifey hears about the king's visit so she's waiting with gifts & cakes & shit. the wolf-knight sees her & immediately BITES OFF HER NOSE & he bites it so good her progeny can feel it & henceforth all her descendants are — I SHIT YOU NOT — born noseless. talk about losing face.

under questioning (*cough cough* torture *cough*) the wife admits to her crimes & yields the stolen clothing, which they put in front of the wolf & he just stares at them until they realize "wow yeah sorry dude our bad" and leave the room to give him privacy

when they see the wolf-knight again he's in his human form and in Marie de France's "Bisclavret" it's expressly written that the king embraces him in the bedchamber and gives him "many kisses" (hashtag heterosexual friends doing heterosexual things)

the king restores the wolf-knight's lands and ex-wifey has to live with her ex-baron in exile, forever marked for her betrayal. some real Mark of Cain shit. (obviously this lai has a lot to say about spousal dissatisfaction but that’s another day’s dissertation)

the wolf-knight (Bisclavret, or Melion, or Marrok, or Sir Wolf or whatever you fancy calling him) not only regains his good name, but also the support of a court which now knows his secret dual nature.

something to be hated or feared, only understood and accepted. no one at court shuns him once the secret's out & no one tries to change or "heal" him of his lycanthropy.

remember when I said we'd come back to the wife's reaction? in "Bisclavret" Marie de France specifically states that upon finding out his secret, the wife no longer wishes to "lie beside him." let's unpack that a bit by exploring similar themes across folklore.

the marriage bed serves as a common motif in tales of animal transformation. ex: in "Beauty and the Beast," the protagonist has to overcome her revulsion towards her suitor's ostensible monstrosity before she can accept his marriage proposal. traditionally these stories with mysterious, beastly husbands who are secretly a true catch serve as an allegory for arranged marriage, designed to help young women process their anxieties about being passed from their father's house to that of a strange new husband.

(we should differentiate these tales from those of an ostensibly appropriate groom who turns out to be a monster in disguise such as "Bluebeard," "Mr. Fox," and "The Robber-Bridegroom," as those deserve a detailed thread of their own but also provide good thematic contrast here)

more often the Beast is kind, patient & gives Beauty the time she needs to the detriment of his own freedom from the curse. once the protagonist gets over her anxiety, she ceases to perceive her groom as just a hulking hairy beast and he can take the shape of a prince at last.

circling back to wolves! in most lore both ancient and modern, werewolves represent something uncontrollable; an animalistic second nature which threatens to literally tear through our well-mannered social façade. "Bisclavret" and its various incarnations don't do that.

if you read "Bisclavret" under a queer critical lens, you can interpret the knight as bisexual; a husband has a secret duality to his nature which he is unable to express in their current social order. significantly, he is born with his lycanthropy rather than being afflicted by the sudden, violent means through which most fictional werewolves are afflicted. it's a part of who he is, and it requires no further explanation or cure.

the wolf-knight finds freedom rather than shame in his lycanthropy, and as a result maintains both honor and control while in wolf form. unlike other famous werewolves, he doesn't function as an expression of tension between the id and the superego.

considering how often wolves are used to imply sexual violence (see also: "Little Red Riding Hood" or its medieval predecessor, "The Grandmother's Tale") this would be a fairly positive portrayal of a bisexual man.

however, his wife doesn't see it that way and is repulsed at the thought of sleeping with him again, so she commits adultery and conspires against him. so really, the crimes in "Bisclavret" have a lot to do with sex, just not sexual violence.

the king's attachment to the wolf & the way he embraces the knight can easily be read as homoerotic. there's absolutely an argument to be made about the normalization of homosocial behavior & male kinship across eras but...two things can be true. either interpretation is valid.

so what we have is a werewolf protagonist — not a villain or tortured anti-hero but an honorable man who isn't made to shed his lycanthropy at the end of the tale (tail). rather, he is accepted by his contemporaries and given a place in society to live as he truly is/ROLL CREDITS