#wow this kylo ren sure is a cool bad guy!

[iwillpunchyouinthenose]

I think we as a fandom should unify and pretend is the pre (and during) TFA era, back when we all were happy

[jadegrey711]

Hey there, Little Red Riding Hood

Kylo Ren x Rey

A/N: I decided to make a very late or very early Halloween treat for everyone and make another vampire Kylo Ren post. It’s pretty short and I’m not sure if I’m going to add on to it later on and make it a bit more smutty but I just love leaving my writing off on one-liners lmao. 

It’s not a continuation of my other one but one I got inspired for because of this picture from vivisketches on Instagram. If you haven’t seen her stuff yet I would highly recommend checking out her art cuz she is amazing. Most definitely part of the pantheon of Reylo goddesses who bless us with content!

Here’s the link to her Insta and the drawing she posted! 

Summary:

Kylo Ren a vampire decides to have fun this Halloween and enjoy the first full halloween moon in a few years and seduces Rey at a college party who’s dressed as little red riding hood.

If you like my stories you can check out my sideblog @jadegreywriting​ to see all of them and my masterlist without filtering through my main blog.

I own all rights to this story and do not give permission for my stories to be published, translated or reposted anywhere else. The only places I have published my stories is here on Tumblr and on my AO3 account (LadyAuthor711) 

Soundtrack 

1999- Prince 

Lil’ Red Riding Hood - Sam the Sham and the Pharohs

Magic Man - Heart 

This certainly wasn't his normal hunting grounds but it was halloween night and the moon was full and he was in the mood for some trouble. The vampire had chuckled when he’d chosen his costume and looked at himself in the mirror. He took in the sight of himself dressed in one of his old white shirts from another life, a pair of leather britches, black riding boots and to top it all off; a black cloak with a red silk lining. He chuckled to himself, truly a wolf in sheep’s clothing. This had to be the most dastardly plan he’d come up with, a true creature of the night walking amongst the humans who were playing pretend at being a monster only for a real monster to be walking amongst them tonight playing human. 

He was just walking and enjoying the night, enjoying the sounds of shrieks, screams and laughter of others enjoying the magic of the night. When he found himself at a college fraternity, they were having their own fun in the form of a halloween party, Kylo smiled to himself as he walked up the steps of the fraternity and immersed himself with the rest of the humans, officially on the hunt. 

***

Rey used to adore celebrating Halloween, obviously dressing up was her favorite part apart from gorging on candy that is. But recently with all her loads of classwork that she’s been doing and trying to finish up her bachelors’ she’s been too exhausted to even notice it was halloween. That is until her best friend and roommate Rose, ripped off her headphones and almost scared Rey half to death as she came face to face with a zombie bride. 

“Jesus!” Rey screeched as she clutched her hand to her chest.  “You scared me half to death Rose!” 

Rose just smiled and said. “Thank you! I worked really hard on this outfit and on Finn’s so I’m excited I actually got to scare someone with it!” She said excitedly. “But, where’s your costume? You’re not going as a zombie student are you?” 

“I’m not going as anything because I have to study.” 

“What! You have to go out tonight! It’s a full moon! On Halloween!” Rose said pointing outside Rey’s little window and saw the full moon blazing down at her and all the other girls and ghouls that were prowling the campus in search of candy and a good time. 

“Wow.” Rey said revertely as she stared up at that bright moon shining down on her. “How often does a full moon occur on Halloween?”

“Not very often so let’s go! Get up and out of that chair, turn off the laptop and let’s see if I have a costume for you.” 

Rey watched as Rose spirited to her closet and flung open the close doors to reveal her repertoire of costumes that she kept year round. I guess having a theater major as your roommate did come in handy sometimes. 

“Oh! What about this?” Rose asked as she pulled out a red riding hood costume, with corset and all. “It’s a classic costume, very sexy, and also helps keep out the cold later on in the night. Maybe when you have to do a walk of victory at the end of the night.” Rose chuckled. 

“It has a corset Rose!” 

“It’s not as bad as everyone always makes them out to be, they actually help with your posture and besides it’ll make your boobs look killer, take it from me.” Rose winked and just then Finn decided to come into the room in all his gory zombie groom state. 

“I know first hand that they do.” He chuckled as he fully came into the room and came up to Rose and gave her a chaste kiss so they wouldn't mess up each other’s makeup. 

Rose let out a satisfied little hum and threw the outfit at Rey. “No more fighting, we’re going to have so much fun tonight. And you need a break from studying, maybe you need to have some tall handsome stranger ring your bell to get you out of this study stupor you’ve been in all month. It’s like I’ve been living with an actual zombie!”

Rey just chuckled to herself and knew there was no fighting her bestfriend or the corset she’d just put in her lap. And instead she decided to get swept away in the magic of the night. 

**

Rey thought she wouldn’t have any fun at the halloween party that was happening at Finn’s fraternity, but all the fraternity guys seemed to be cool, played decent music and always kept her drink full. Rose had been right, this is exactly what Rey needed tonight. She needed to let loose for a night, dance and get drunk, although it looked like the handsome stranger bit wasn’t going to be happening tonight. Which she thought was a bit of a shame since she was definitely feeling herself in this corset; another thing Rose was right about and Rey would most definitely hear just how right Rose was in the morning. 

As Rey poured herself another drink, suddenly the song changed from the thumping beat of Prince’s 1999, to a slower song and definitely older song, Rey realised as she recognized the opening howl of Sam The Sham and the Pharoh’s Lil Red Riding Hood. And as she looked up from where she was pouring her next beer, her eyes locked onto a pair of dark alluring eyes from across the room. Rey felt transfixed to these dark eyes, that felt like they belonged to a predator and a part of her; a primal part confirmed her suspicions and demanded that she run as far and as fast she could. 

Rey tampered the voice in her mind and tried to calm her suddenly racing heart as she wretched her eyes away from the dark eyes that seemed to command her to him. Rey didn’t dare look back at the stranger lounging on the wall in the fear that she wouldn’t be able to look away next time. But, that awful sense of curiosity filled her, tempted her to look at the stranger again; but Rey knew what happened to that cat who let curiosity get the best of them. Rey decided after another swig of her beer that she’d take another look at him, that feeling of dread was just her imagination getting the better of her, the halloween night air filling her head with visions of dark strangers. 

However, when Rey looked back up to where the stranger was lounging on the back wall he was gone. Rey furrowed her eyebrows and looked around for the stranger but he was nowhere on the dance floor or anywhere near where he first was; maybe she had imagined him. 

Rey turned around to fill her beer again and bumped into a large chest and felt strong arms wrap around her, bracing her so she wouldn’t fall on her ass. When she looked up to thank her savior and apologize, she was struck with terror and awe as those dark eyes pierced her soul. 

“Hey there lil red riding hood.”

[themattress]

Holy Shit!

https://imgur.com/gallery/WKkli

https://imgur.com/gallery/j9OQylb

Beyond the proof that the guy who uploaded this is involved with Bad Robot that he provided at the end of his second post, these definitely seem legit because the first post was in 2018, before The Rise of Skywalker came out, yet the treatment contains some blatant concepts that ended up finding there way into that movie that I have a hard time believing anyone but J.J himself could have come up with (plus, the rest of the plot is very J.J-like, as I’ll get into.)

So these definitely seem to be the discarded Episode VIII and IX treatments. Thoughts?

- Luke’s reasons for coming to Ahch-To definitely seem more in line with TFA than in TLJ, seeing as if he wanted to just “go there to die” he wouldn’t have left a freaking map to the place behind, plus it seemed off that someone disillusioned with the Jedi ways would go to the site of the first Jedi Temple to begin with. His portrayal also matches what we saw at the end of TFA (seeming to be in mourning for Han), and fits the “kind but sad” description from the script. And far from cutting himself off from the Force, Luke has been influencing it from afar as part of his grand plan, explaining Rey’s vision when she touched his lightsaber.

- Luke has a wife and kids! Sadly for EU fans, the wife is not Mara Jade.

- It was Luke’s influence via the Force that explained the things Rey could do that fans deemed her a Mary Sue for, plus some other things that weren’t so routinely noted such as the remarkable coincidence that she and Finn just happened to run into Han and Chewie right after obtaining the Millennium Falcon. Not sure how well this would have gone down...

- Saccrum, Snoke’s home planet, is literally Exogol. Secret ancient Sith planet that is nigh impenetrable to all non-Sith, site of the final battle and (as we’ll soon learn) where Snoke is repeatedly cloned and where Palpatine is resurrected by Sith alchemists...it’s fucking Exogol.

- I recall concept art for Kylo Ren’s partly metallic face floating around.

- Dathan Naut seems cool, but she never really amounts to much.

- So it seems J.J Abrams and Lawrence Kasdan’s vision for the Sequel Trilogy always seemed to boil down to “All the generations of Jedi vs. all the generations of Sith reaching a climactic battle, with Skywalker vs. Palpatine at the heart of it, and the Palpatine who becomes a Skywalker as the key to victory.” That idea was always where they were going.

- Jedi/Sith Holocrons were always gonna be a thing, which is why Rebels worked them in.

- Live-action Ahsoka was also always an objective, it seems, and I bet the way they wrote her out in Rebels’ “Twilight of the Apprentice” was to potentially serve as a lead-in for her appearance in the Sequel Trilogy. But because that never came to pass, they brought her back toward the end of the series and set her on the new trajectory that she’s currently on. Honestly, I think that’s for the better, Ahsoka wouldn’t have really fit in the main film series.

- Not big on this Cfi-Xi character, she mainly seems to be here to “no homo” C-3PO. And her main role relating to the Sith Planet ended up played just fine by C-3PO in TROS anyway.

- BB-8 had the kind of fake-out death they ended up giving to Chewie.

- Wow, so Hux was supposed to die in Episode VIII and Phasma in Episode IX originally. Funny how that got totally flipped backward in the versions we actually ended up getting.

- OK, this “family time” that Rey’s getting is precious. It’s sad we didn’t get to see this.

- Hoo boy, “this is the bad ass Luke Skywalker we’ve been waiting for!” Really? Et tu, J.J and Kasdan? In light of the recent showing by Luke in The Mandalorian, I again question why this portrayal of the character is so widely beloved by fans when it has little to no basis in the OT.

- Rey vs. Kylo Ren in a raging ocean backdrop; here in Episode VIII rather than IX. Similarly, it’s a duel that Kylo clearly has in the bag, but a fluke in the Force allows Rey to survive, although I much prefer the fluke we got to the one this treatment proposes because....

- Goddamn it, J.J. You’re doing the time travel / time paradox shit again? Were Lost, Fringe and Star Trek not enough for you to explore that concept in? This is the biggest part of these treatment drafts that rubs me the wrong way, it’s just so needlessly convoluted and cliche.

- Also, yet another Mystery Box in Luke’s severed hand on Saccrum.

- No Jedi Leia in that flashback? Yeah, I can see why Kathleen Kennedy rejected this.

- Btw, Rian Johnson wasn’t the only one who was going to turn Luke into an asshole failure, it seems. Making this highly risky plan with Ben and not letting his parents know about it? Dick! 

- Snoke is the one who destroys Luke’s academy, not Kylo Ren. And he does so as he is dying; another clue-in that there’s more to Snoke than it seems given that he’s still around.

- Lando would have been in Episode IX anyway, albeit still running Cloud City.

- The idea for this Episode IX is that the Skywalkers are a Jedi dynasty that long predated Anakin (Shmi being a descendant of it), and the Palpatines were their Sith enemies. Sheev Palpatine also would have died his first death generations ago and was being constantly resurrected via clone bodies made on Saccrum ever since, so the one that Anakin killed wasn’t the original; Palpatine can’t be stopped unless Saccrum is destroyed. While not as convoluted as the time paradox shit, I appreciate the simpler route they ended up taking.

- J.J and Kasdan always wanted Rey’s father to be a defective Palpatine clone.

- There was never a planned origin for Snoke in these treatments; wherever he came from the bottom line was that Palpatine brought him onto his side by promising to share his key to immortality (constant cloned bodies made on Sacccrum) with him. Again, this ended up being simplified into Snoke just being a whole-sale creation of Palpatine’s from the very beginning.

- Since these are treatments, the “love” part of the dynamic between Rey and Kylo Ren is highly underdeveloped and would likely have been fleshed out in screenwriting. The end result, with the deprogramming vision of Rey and Darth Vader, sounds pretty effective though, but I think I much prefer the Leia death / vision of Han version that we ended up with.

- LOL, the “droid way of making love”. I want to see this idea repurposed someday.

- That’s an interesting twist on Alderaan, although it really doesn’t amount to anything given that the planet Leia grew up on and called home still got destroyed by the Death Star.

- “Magic blood”, another J.J-ism. Again, I much prefer the simpler version TROS gave us.

- The climax’s structure is basically the same as in TROS, with Rey (and others) heading to the Sith planet from Ahch-To and then Leia’s Resistance forces going there from their base, with Rey and Ben facing Palpatine. The biggest differences is that we also have Luke vs. Snoke and Finn vs. Phasma battles going on, in addition to a Jedi vs. Sith ground battle.

- Yeah, I don’t really care for how Phasma’s death is handled: making her hideously scarred and treating her sympathetically don’t sit right with me. Rian Johnson did it better, IMO.

- No red stormtroopers here, but there are red Tie Fighters.

- Ben still gives his life to save Rey, albeit in a less literal manner.

- Palpatine still wants Rey to ascend to the Sith throne and rule by his side. Also: “he loves the smell of burning hair, it reminds him of home”!? Wow, that’s dark in what it’s implying...

- OK, so while not a Jedi, Leia is the Big Damn Hero in the end. That makes sense.

- WTF? Rey straight-up kills Palpatine with Sith lightning!? Yeah, that definitely wasn’t ever gong to fly with Lucasfilm, since it totally contradicts ROTJ’s message! It was inevitable that we’d end up with the more correct “Rey deflects Palpatine’s own Sith lightning back at him”.

- “Rey Skywalker” is the end point for the story here as well, but it ending on Tatooine is so much more emotional than ending it on Alderaan Prime, a place that only just now exists.

My final impression is that we probably could have had the best version of the Sequel Trilogy possible IF the right corrections were made when adapting these treatments into real screenplays, such as axing the more convoluted and pointlessly fanservice-y elements and making different choices for a few of the characters (Rey, Kylo Ren, C-3PO, Phasma, etc...also something more substantial for Poe since they clearly had no idea what to do with him). However, it was also an impossibility for it to ever happen due to many different factors, the biggest of which being Carrie Fisher’s passing in 2016. So as it stands, I am still satisfied with the version we got and am especially happy that J.J returned for TROS to provide the end of the Skywalker Saga with some of his original (mercifully fine-tuned and simplified) ideas.

[ninadewitt]

Colour me Curious Part 2: Monday

Just another Ben Solo High School AU! 

Warnings: Swearing 

The only thing worse than a regular Monday, was the first Monday back after the winter break. It never mattered how long the holiday was, you just never felt rested; Christmas created the perfect opportunity for drunk family members to strangle you for information and force their, unwanted, opinions down your choked throat. The holiday was made worse by the pre-celebration preparations, where your mother would go on an intense cleaning spree creating a (Y/L/N) house reformation. Everyday household items such as the straighteners were deemed too offensive to be allowed to be within two miles of a guest. Therefore, your mother took it upon herself to move them to a nondescript location, without informing you that she was doing so, just to save you the embarrassment of having to explain to your relatives why you owned such a perverse item in the first place. Over the years you had gotten used to this strange behaviour and just let her be, but this time she had forgotten where she had hidden the appliance. So, when Monday morning came around and your, normally gloriously crisp locks, were stuck in a bun looking like a tumbleweed had made a home atop your head, it made an already shitty day into one that included some equally shitty hair. Thanks Mom!

And so, you sat at the lunch table with your group; Finn, Rey and Poe, shifting your hair around hoping to keep it in order, at least until the end of the day, and at the same time, actively trying to avoid being dragged into one of Poe’s daily school football rants. Although, one of your best friends he was a bit of a hot head regarding the sport, and ever since Kylo joined the team, with around a hundred pounds more muscle and an extra 8 inches in height, challenging him for captaincy, he became even more insufferable than usual. Finn usually listened intently, his doe eyes fawning over his ‘friends’ passion but even now he seemed a bit sick of listening to Poe’s anti-Ren speech, yawning and rolling his eyes.

This continued on until Rey eventually threw her hands up in the air and smacked them dramatically on the table, gritting out “Poe, please stop, my head is going to explode if you mention Ren’s ‘bad attitude and poor tactics’ one more time”

“All I’m saying, is that if a guy disappears for years, he can’t just come in expecting to be Captain, it just doesn’t happen, right (Y/N)?” For some reason he smacked your shoulder confidently while smirking at you, expecting some support.

“Oh please, as if she’s gonna be on your side, (Y/N) is the biggest traitor here, giving the Big Emo, ‘stalker’ eyes, every time he walks past. Haven’t you guys noticed how she’s become a massive book worm recently, hanging around the library, where Kylie spends all his spare time?”

“Well, now that you mention it…” the boys looked at one another and then back at you, with curious looks on their faces.

“Rey! What the fuck, why is this about me now? I have not been giving him ‘stalker’ eyes” and in an attempt to defend yourself, you sacrificed your last chip, chucking it at her with immense force and scrunching your brow in a way that let her know that you were pissed.

And Rey being Rey, was willing to challenge that look. picking the chip up from the table, looking you dead in the eye and crunching it, signalising that she did not give a fuck. “I can’t listen to football talk anymore, and if I have to sacrifice you to make him stop, I will. Sorry (Y/N) nothing personal.”

Sometimes you really hated her.

 Watching the silent chip filled stand-off that was occurring between the two of you, Finn, wanting to avoid being covered in lunch meat before his fifth period Trig, attempted to diffuse the situation

“So, who watched the Witcher over break?”

  “I did, it was great, loved Geralt” You replied, eager to change the subject but unfortunately, it looked as though you weren’t going to get out of this mess yet.

  “Of course you did, your love of Ren has exposed your cave man kink, you love an angsty man” Poe teased, apparently, he decided he didn’t want to be on your team anymore and high-fived Rey, forgetting their past beef as she joined in, deepening her voice and widening her shoulders:

  “Hm fuck, (Y/N), I love you, be Mrs Ren”

  “I’d die for you (Y/N), I’m ignoring you to keep my heart safe”

  “you like it when I grunt, I’ll show you a grunt”

  It was at this point that you regretted munching down all your chips with such haste, and noticing the unfortunate lack of ammo you, instead of attacking the duo, proceeded to flip both of them off and dig your head into the table, with your bun whacking it dramatically in the process. However, this seemed to only give the pair more confidence:

 “I only ever hunt for my own food and I kill my prey simply by raising my left hand threateningly, I can provide for our family (Y/N).”

“By the grace of my goth training I will not be seduced by Coldplay.”

 When the bell went off, you practically skipped to biology, moving away from the trio, still holding up your middle fingers, as Rey and Poe practically crawled to class, wheezing the entire way. It was Monday lunches like those that really made you thankful that none of your friends were interested in bio, with both Rey and Poe focusing on Physics and Finn avoiding sciences as though they were the plague. Its not that you didn’t love them and their bantering, but sometimes when you were in a mood, like today, it was hard not to get a bit salty about the whole situation and just need a break.

A break to work on your Solo experiment. It was on the walk to class when you thought about whether Kylo would acknowledge you today, that you realised that maybe Rey was right about your stalker eyes. But now was no time to back down. You knew that with Kylo it was all about consistency, he was like a jittery animal; jump at him and he will almost definitely run for the bushes and avoid you for life, but if you approach him slowly, letting him gain some familiarity, maybe throwing in some “sksksk-ing” as though he were a cat, he might let you in. So, in that logic you assumed that if you popped up around him now and again, he might realise that you mean no harm. Or he would avoid you further, only time would tell.

Reaching the class room and plonking down in one of those high-up science stools you began to ponder; why did science feel the need to make its seats absurdly tall. They were those types of seats that were, normally, exclusively used at hipster ice cream parlours or smoothie bars. They always made sitting down so uncomfortable, giving you absolutely no back support and your knees would consistently knock off the metal bar of the desk leaving an unflattering gum stain on your jeans, for the rest of the day. Maybe that’s why everyone found science hard to grasp, because they spent the whole period trying to contort their bodies in a way that would make sitting comfortable.  It was during that very intelligent inner monologue that Kylo stomped in and plopped into his seat, on the other side of the class, crunching his knees under the desk. You could practically hear his six-foot frame groan at being pushed into such an awkward seat. That couldn’t be comfortable you thought, before diverting your attention from the dark prince to Mrs Barr, ready to be riveted by some spores, fungi and bacterium. Delicious.

And all was going swell up until the end of the period; your notes were tidy, you only lost interest a couple of times but you seemed to understand what she was getting at, then she started talking about the next assignment. Partner work was the first issue with the task. It wasn’t ideal but you always knew that Jess would be willing to group up, but then, issue number two, Mrs Barr pulled a fast one and said that she would be picking the pairs. Well, fuck. Finally, for issue number three, what did the woman do? She only went and paired you up with Kylo, just before sending the class away, to go figure out in their teams what they were going to do their projects on.

To some people this would have been a godsend, but when you saw his gaze latch on to you and his frown deepen, you couldn’t help but want to crawl into a hole and die. Yes, you wanted to get him to be your friend again and yes, you suppose this would help, but you wanted the reconciliation to be done on your terms. Your slow and steady pace. This caused the process to go from a crawl to a sprint and quite frankly, it was probably going to give you whiplash. And if that didn’t Kylo suddenly being right in front of your face would. Somehow despite his large stature, he could move incredibly quietly if he put his mind to it. It made you wonder if he stomped down the hallways for theatrical purposes, maybe you could ask him when he stopped staring daggers at you. But it didn’t look like he would anytime soon.

 “Oh, Hi, Kylo” you stuttered out to him, tilting your head up as far as it would go, he was much taller up close.

 “We are gonna need a study space, my house is empty, Leia’s working. So, assuming you can walk ten feet without falling we can work there.”

 Wow, maybe Poe was right about him lacking some social skills.

“Yep, that’s fine” you replied in a less friendly tone than before, sure you wanted him to be your friend, but you weren’t going to be a doormat.

 “Fine, four o’clock, don’t be late.” And with that he stomped away in a cloud of rage.

 Well, maybe you made a mistake in wanting to be his friend again. You supposed you would find out after school.

~This cool Kid wanted to be tagged and you can be too @shockwavee (But Idk if I’m doing it right)

[apriki]

RISE OF SKYWALKER

IT HAS BEEN SEEN MY FRIENDS... LET’S GO

IT WAS A LOVE STORY ALL ALONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU. GUYS. I AM SO... ALIVE RIGHT NOW I 

okay that opening scrawl i laughed so hard... THE DEAD SPEAK!!

‘supreme leader kylo ren’ will never not be funny

OKAY OPENING WITH KYLO I SCREAMED.... HIS BEAUTIFUL FACE

I LOVE HIM SO MUCH I CANNOT EVEN BEGIN TO EXPLAIN TO YOU.... HOW MUCH

okay and his ruthless hell bent search for this silly macguffin.... we love a demonic legend

and ALSO his determination to kill the past!!!!!! HE HAS LITERALLY BEEN CIRCLING THIS THE WHOLE SERIES

look, i am biased because kylo is my favourite and he has been the one thing that’s been consistently written and done across this trilogy and i’m very spoiled because i got everything i wanted here

but KYLO REN. KYLO REN!!!!!!!!!!!

laughed my ASS off at the snoke in the tube and palpatine being like ‘surprise bitch.... bet you thought you’d seen the last of me’

laughed decidedly LESS at ‘i’ve been every voice you’ve ever heard in your head’

look this isn’t going to be a review.... just my thoughts really and this decidedly isn’t a comparison with the last jedi which it seems like everyone wants to do in a weird victorious kind of way

but kylo killing snoke/his abuser in tlj was a terrifying powerful moment to watch and i loved it fiercely and still do, and for kylo to see that he hadn’t done that at all.... and that evil still abides.... fucking nightmare, honestly

and that’s when i started getting a feeling in the back of my head because look he is so determined to kill the past

(let the past die)

that he will kill himself as well to do it. that has always been kylo’s character since the very beginning. SO!!!!!

also the structural integrity of palp’s hideaway.... not great

palps: kill rey heh heh

kylo: i am absolutely not gonna do that but okay

omfg when kylo was like ME AND MY KNIGHTS OF REN ARE GOING HUNTING

i cannot explain to you how HILARIOUS the knights of ren are to me

they do nothing! they say nothing! they just stand around and look stupid in their stupid helmets..... i laughed every single time they were on screen

it’s like kylo’s uselessness manifests into what 6? 7 more useless things. the Knights of Ren

‘we’re going hunting’ are you TWELVE YEARS OLD

this film felt like it was going a million miles an hour, all the time, and that started for me in that first scene in the falcon which was going all over the place? for some reason?

anyway THERE’S A MOLE IN THE FIRST ORDER and i know it is hux but i kind of wanted it to be kylo on the side.... though i know he is not capable of any such subterfuge. about as subtle as a wrecking ball... and my SON

loved the comraderie with poe and finn. i liked the lived-in feeling of the relationships between the rebellion characters this time around

felt like they had that new alien dude in the falcon for no reason and for two seconds like... why

(to sell toys, of course. the same reason why they have a new tiny droid)

but that of course is just the first in a long line of new and underdeveloped characters in this movie. but you know what? i can accept this because the core emotional story was strong and also, it’s star wars? a big sprawling mess is what it has always, always been. ANYWHOMST

REY IN THE FOREST LEVITATING!!!!

the white outfit!!! how at one she is with nature??? SORRY IT WAS BEAUTIFUL

and okay the specific framing of rey and rey’s power in this movie as not only a part of the force but so specifically as a woman using the force... like the power of empathy! the power of healing!!! IT WAS BEAUTIFUL WHATEVER

when she called leia her MASTER? MY HEART

THE POWER OF WOMEN!!!

on the flip side, doesn’t it kind of feel like poe has a problem with women?

like as soon as he started riffing with rey i was like GET A JOB STAY AWAY FROM HER

but in hindsight i feel kind of better about them and their interactions... more on that later

FINN! finn in this movie was WONDERFUL

(except it annoyed me how they had the whole ‘there’s something i want to say to you’ and never had him say it... like even if he was going to say he loved rey okay just don’t leave it hanging like that?)

FORCE FUCKING SENSITIVE!!!!!!

look i really think they did they best they could with a really difficult job in incorporating leia and previous footage into this movie. it wouldn’t have felt right without her and the scenes were a bit clunky but again, a very very difficult thing to do

LEIA AND REY’S RELATIONSHIP..... MY HEART HURTS

i love that rey’s storyline has depth and motivation and kylo’s storyline is literally revolving around rey like she’s the sun

like i literally love this. MORE OF THIS!!!

FORCE BOND STILL EXISTSSSSSSSS

KNEW IT CALLED IT CLAIMED IT LOVE IT

the soft gasp rey does whenever kylo is about to show up for forceskype i love this song

the knights of ren standing around while kylo’s helmet got fixed omfg they are the stupidesttttt

kylo: maybe i don’t want to wear the helmet

the knights of ren: maybe shut the fuck up 

Let’s Go To Burning Man

i actually kind of liked seeing these people doing their own cool cultural thing. like again this movie went at lightspeed but i did enjoy that. what’s better than this? just aliens being dudes

when rey talked to that little girl and she asked her last name i was like LOLLLL HERE WE GOOOOOOOO

as soon as lando showed up it was like ‘oh it’s lando’

‘i offered you my hand’

‘I’LL OFFER YOU MY HAND AGAIN’ 

WHY DID HE SAY THIS... LIKE IT WAS A PROPOSAL

I WAS SCREECHING SORRY... WOW.

i have never really found C3PO funny but um he was going off in this movie... when they all looked at him and then he looked away I CACKLED

and the mind wipe like whew man... one day we’re gonna have a conversation about Droids And The Uncomfortable Conclusions About Droids in these movies

but also, i wish they’d had the guts to stick with it and not restore his memory because, what a symbol for the past dying and the end of a saga? like 3PO has been there since the start!! the star wars live in his memory banks ???? and R2 as well i suppose

don’t think too long about this cause then you realise that for some reason they’re still using like 80 year old iphones and R2 and 3PO should be decommissioned for scraps

WHEN HE TOOK THE NECKLACE OFF HER I FOUND IT HOT I FOUND IT SEXY I FOUND IT UMMMM

the sand was a cool visual thing but then THE SNAKE

it felt so GREEK HERO MYTH but then rey stops the script!!

AND DOESN’T FIGHT IT

AND SHE HEALS IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

as soon as rey healed that snake i was like

‘kylo ren is that snake’

blah blah dagger blah

the sith language and being forbidden actually interests me. i want more proper sith lore

basically i want a revan and bastila movie. make it so

keri russell was WASTED in this movie

but that one scene with her and rey where they had Mutual Respect was so much better and more important than anything she did with poe

poe is like... sure i guess. i mean i liked him better in this movie than tlj and i liked him more as the movie when on but hmmst 

but hey if i get to have a kylo then the poe people can have i poe. i begrudge no one

except, uh.... hux people. y’all really got done this movie huh. ouch

double as bad cause there was literally no point to the new general character. should have just been hux and then had him die in the final battle?

but i laughed when he was like ‘i don’t want you to WIN. i want kylo to LOSE’

THAT’S KING PETTY 

omfg when kylo was like ‘where are you’ and then saw the vader mask and was like ‘oh you’re in my room’

SCREECHED

KYLO’S EVIL BOARD MEETING

LAUGHED MY ASS OFF

WHEN HE SMACKED THAT DUDE TO THE ROOF

sorry the first order is a startup. not even an ‘evil’ one especially because they’re all just a bit evil 

when kylo reacted to that guy saying ‘we should take more children’ and the small thread winding through this movie about children being indoctrinated and rey and ben stopping THAT cycle.. important to me and i wish it had been bigger but i was glad it was there 

all kylo did in the first half of this movie was chase after his girlfriend and tell her how they were meant to be together and that he wasn’t going to kill her even though he should. i love one stupid man

kylo flying his ship at rey deliberately wanting to ‘push her’ and her jumping over it and crashing the whole damn thing

and then him just getting up and walking out of the wreck not a scratch on him

like some kind of hero in a romance novel in his stupid cape lmfaoaoooo... you love to see it

THE PUSH/PULL WITH THE TRANSPORT?

THEIR POWERRRRRR

and then rey with her fuckin LIGHTNING

as soon as that happened i was like, oh lol rey palps then....

but also, THE LOOK OF WONDER BUT ALSO VICTORY ON KYLO’S FACE

ADAM DRIVER SIR

okay to be honest the whole soujourn to the like space swiss village is kind of a blur to me

keri russell was wasted, did i say that already?

although okay that bit when poe was like ‘were you a stormtrooper? were you a scavenger?’ maybe give him his rights

when kylo said WE’RE TWO PARTS OF THE SAME BEING

A DYAD

TWO WHO ARE AS ONE 

two? WHO ARE? AS ONEEEEEE

NEITHER WHOLE WITHOUT THE MOTHERFUCKING OTHER I 

‘i never lied to you’ AND HE NEVER HAS AND NEVER FUCKING DIDDD!!!!!

all the stormtroopers getting knocked back and kylo steadying himself with the force lol... it’s these little things ok 

JODIE COMER? 

rEy PaLpAtInE

I LAUGHED MY ASSSS OFFFFFFF

like... sure jj. sure

look, i have always understood and respected the choice to make rey ‘nobody’ (like anakin was! the force just makes who it needs to create the balance!) but if rey was going to be anyone i guess.... this is the best choice?

and i think there IS merit in the story going from ‘person burdened with legacy vs person with no legacy’ to ‘person with a legacy of good turning evil and person with a legacy of evil turning good’

i gotta think longer and more about this but. besides its inherent silliness i do not hate this ‘twist’ 

this movie jumped from planet to planet like a ping pong ball! it felt a bit jarring but my mum pointed out that the galaxy IS big and they’ve never really done this before and i was like hmmm Points Were Made

THE FIGHT ON THE OLD DEATH STAR

KYLO DODGING REY’S SWIPES AND NOT EVEN PULLING HIS SABER UNTIL HE HAD TO

THEN ONLY FIGHTING DEFENSIVELY

and her DESPERATION

ALMOST LIKE SHE’S FIGHTING HERSELF

BECAUSE THEY ARE TWO HALVES! OF ONE WHOLE!

and then oh my god

‘you can’t go back to her (leia). just like i can’t’

and the VICTORY in his eyes and the acknowledgment of the truth in hers

because THEY ARE THE SSSAAAAAAMMMMMMMMEEEE

when rey SCREECHED and force threw finn back.... oh fuck

(sidebar the way finn was so determinedly THERE for rey this whole movie... even when she said about the sith throne... his faith in her didn’t waver im verklempt)

WHEN HE DISAPPEARED AND REY LOOKED BACK HORRIFIED

because he can’t go! because the fight is what they have and what she’s clinging on to!

AND THEN HE WALKED UP OUT THE WATTTTEERRRRRRRRR

absolute romantic nonsense.

AND THEN

SHE KILLED HIM

SHE KILLED HIM!!!!!!

SHE KILLED KYLO REN WITH HIS OWN DAMN CRUCIFIX SWORD

I COULD NOT

BE LEEEEAAAF

THIS HAS BEEN MY DREAM ENDGAME SINCE THE START AND IT’S HERE TWO THIRDS THROUGH THE FUCKING LAST MOVIE?

A GIFT. LICH RALLY A GIFT TO MEEEEE

leia gave her LIFE for her SON I...

this was the only moment in the movie where i started to get some tears cause like... IT WAS JUST SO MUCH

AND REY.... TOOK LEIA’S ENERGY THROUGH THE FORCE... 

AND SHE PUT HER HANDS ON HIM

AND SHE HEALED HIM

SHE’S A SCAVENGER

SHE FIXES BROKEN THINGGGGSSSSS

HE DIED BECAUSE SHE KILLED HIM 

AND HE LIVES BECAUSE SHE HEALED HIM... 

WHEN. WILL. YOUR. FAVES?????????

‘I WANTED TO TAKE YOUR HAND. BEN’S HAND’

take my hand? take my whole life too

IIRENGOWENRGKLJEWNGFKJBKJBKJBKJLB

ALL THE BEAUTIFUL WINDSWEPT CLOSE UP SHOTS OF KYLO’S BEAUTIFUL WINDSWEPT FACE IN THIS MOVIE. I WAS BREATHLESS

KYLO STNADING ON THE EDGE OF THAT SEA WITH THE WIND GOING AND HIS LEG OUT LIKE THE STUPID BYRONIC HERO HE IS

HEATHCLIFF? HEATHCLIFF ON THE MOOR?

HAN’S HAND ON BEN’S FACE

HE CALLED HIM. DAD

‘kylo ren is dead’

OHHHHHH BABBBBYYYYYY

look i loved the crossguard saber but i understood why it had to go

and like ben shedding the persona he had built as a defence mechanism... rey killed that part of him? powerful too powerful

i know i have rose coloured glasses because i care about the core story of kylo/rey enough and i’m passionate enough about it but okay the way they are entwined with one another on the journey to identity is the greatest thing a silly blockbuster series has maybe ever given me 

it’s tam lin. IT’S FAIRY TALE NONSENSE AND I LOVE IT 

i 100% know in my bones they wanted the scene with han to be leia but they obviously couldnt have that so that was fine. when ben turned his head around and heard her and felt her.... DONT LOOK AT ME

the most emotional moment in this movie was when chewie heard about leia and broke down and collapsed and screamed

:(

us too buddy. damn 

rey stealing kylo’s ship and yeeting away lmfao

and when she went back to ach-to and burned it and was like IM STAYING HERE 4EVA >:(

she’s literally the exact same stupid reckless as kylo and i love

rose was wasted in this movie. very annoying

i DID laugh when they said ‘we should pull a holdo manoeuvre’ like of course that’s the one thing jj took from tlj. ohhhh jj

loved finn meeting the ex stormtrooper lady. i always felt like the one weakness of tlj is that it dropped this thread of finn’s indoctrination that i thought was being woven alongside rey and kylo’s issues with their childhoods in force awakens. the look of wonder on his face when she said that the whole battalion defected.... and saying the force lead them to do it like it lead him... and you could see john boyega feeling that with his whole heart!!!

i laughed at palps’ fleet of star destroyers that like all have death star capabilities now? so dumb

and also, a star destroyer is basically an aircraft carrier.... do you think the people who make star wars realise the empire is america? no...??? alright imma head out

missed opportunity for a shot of jar jar or a gungan when the galaxy fleet showed up like those towboats at dunkirk. to be HONEST

where did sheev palps find that stadium of goons? are they on retainer?

yeah so palpatine’s lair is the underworld and rey is eurydice and ben is orpheus. YEAH. YEAHHHHHHHHH

LEIA WAS TRAINED AS A MFING JEDI

THAT FLASHBACK WAS EVERYTHING FUCK

LEIA’S SABER!!!!!!!!!

i have Questions about leia ‘seeing her son dying at the end of her journey’ like ?

BUT HER PUTTING AWAY THE SABER TO PROTECT BEN!!!!

THIS FAMILY

fuck. benjy solo in that jumper.... USING A BLASTER LIKE HIS DAD.....

THE X WING AND THE TIE FIGHTER PARKED NEXT TO EACH OTHER!!!!!!!!!

PALPATINE CALLING THEIR BOND ‘AS POWERFUL AS LIFE AND THE FORCE ITSELF’

NOT FOR GENERATIONS HAS THEIR BEEN A DYAD LIKE THEM!!!

FUCKING

DESTINED

BITCH

THEY ARE EACH OTHER’S DESTINY? WOW SORRY.... WOWOWOOWOOWOWOOWOWOW

ben versus his idiot knights of ren.... yeah i love my son

sorry rey had a vision of her AND kylo sitting on the throne but the throne is.... one seat? what are the logistics here? her on his lap? him on her lap? both of them sitting on an armrest like awkward kids taking a photo with santa?

I THOUGHT ABOUT THIS FOR LIKE FIVE MINUTES COMPLETELY DISTRACTED

THE LITTLE SHRUG BEN DID WHEN HE GOT THE LIGHTSABER AND WAS LIKE ‘YEAH SORRY NOW YOU’RE GONNA DIE’

I SCREAMED. IM LOVE HIM

rey giving ben the saber through the force bond!!

ACROSS SPACE??? LOVE THAT TRANSCENDS THE WORLD

palpatine taking, SPECIFICALLY, the power of rey and kylo’s BOND to strengthen himself because it is THE STRONGEST THING IN THE FUCKING UNIVERSE???????? CANONICALLY????????

REY AND BEN FIGHTING WITH LUKE AND LEIA’S SABERS

FUCKING... I FUCKING....

when palps like flicked ben away sorry i laughed... i mean i was like REALLY? FOR THE BIG FINALE HE’S GONE? but i understood why and that rey is the hero etc etc

THE JEDI SPEAKING TO REY! OBI WAN! QUI GON FUCKIN JINN

yoda is there too

AND THE POWER OF THE JEDI FLOWING THROUGH HER!!!!!

god her power.... SHE AMAZES MEEEE

(initially i thought ben was gonna kill palps for rey because of the whole The Sith Live in My Killer thing and then she’d have to kill him but HOISTED ON HIS OWN PETARDDD)

palpatine:

and the power was too much and it killed her ooooof

(the power of being a legacy... of channeling all that has some before!!! these movies get so ridiculously meta sometimes. best believe we’ll talk about THIS)

BUT HERE COMES BEN

BENJY BOYYYYY

his hair JUST long enough to be scraggly and devastating

literally dragging a broken leg 

ADAM DRIVERS PHYSICALITY IN THESE MOVIES (WELL ALWAYS) (BUT SPECIFICALLY IN THIS ROLE)

and he knows

WHAT HE HAS TO DOOOO

HE FINALLY FOUND SOMETHING HE LOVED ENOUGH TO DIE FOR

I JUST CAN’T BELIEVE THIS 

when he held her body holy shit... HOLY SHIT, GUYS

FULL CIRCLE????CVMSDFJNVDSLKFJVLDKJFVLKJDBFV

A PIETA.... A FUCKING PIETA

OH MY GOD THIS MOVIE

and his heartbroken face.... stumbling back to her... oh my good goddd

and then

‘I KNOW WHAT I HAVE TO DO BUT I’M AFRAID TO DO IT’

HE DIED FOR HER

HE GAVE.... HIS LIFE..... FOR HER.....

I CANNOT BE LIEVE THISSSSSS

HE GAVE UP HIS LIFE!!!!! HIS FUCKING LIFE!!!

he fought.... his whole life.... and he gave it up....

THAT’S LOVE? THAT’S FUCKING TRUE LOVE HOLLYL SKDJBVDKBF

REVAN AND BASTILA!!!!! REVAN AND BASTILA!!!1

and then she was alive again!!! ROMEO AND JULIET OKAY WOW

AND 

THEY

KISSED

I’M SORRY I DID FREAK THE FUCK OUT

HIS SOFT EYES

(super spoilery shot coming up here but)

OH MY GOD

FOR FUCK’S

SAKE.

i’m sure people will be mad about how little kylo like... talked in this movie but like sorry this was perfect

she saved his life! and she saved the world! and he quietly gave his life to her, for her?

this humble act of love? PURE LOVE?

WHAT WONDERFUL AND TERRIBLE THINGS THEY ARE CAPABLE OF. 

THAT THEY PUSH EACH OTHER TO

THIS TRILOGY WAS MADE FOR ME AND ONLY ME. THERE’S NO OTHER EXPLANATION

and her look of JOY and she said, ‘BEN’

look. i have been on the record for YEARS as saying my dream endgame would be for rey to kill kylo and for him to be forceghost with her always

AND SOMEHOW UMMMM THIS IS BETTER?

1. SHE DID! KILL HIM! AND THEN BROUGHT HIM BACK

2. AND THEN HE WILLINGLY DIED FOR HER? 

3. AND NOW SHE CARRIES HIM WITH HER ALWAYS??????

when his body faded and leia’s did too..... wo OOOOOOOOOOWWWW

SHE TOOK

HIS FUGGIN

LAST NAMMMEMELRKNWELKJBNLKJBFLKJBFKLRBJKLERJB

I’M SORRY THIS MOVIE WAS MADE FOR ME. KYLO REN WAS BREWED UP F O R MEEEEEEE

listen. there is a video game where a lady’s boyfriend gets killed and his soul goes into a sword and she carries the sword around with her

THAT IS THE RISE OF SKYWALKER

I CARRY YOUR HEART I CARRY IT IN MY HEART BITCH??????

THE FUCKING ORANGE SABER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and look. ben’s story is allowed to be just about rey and rey’s is allowed to be bigger than just him. that’s EQUALITY. that’s JUSTICE

look i know it’s very douchey of me but i wrote this paragraph about a character of mine in a book i wrote and it is like..... LIKE IT’S JUST KYLO REN OKAY

he was never gonna be someone who could settle down and live like a quiet life of monkhood or whatever luke was doin on ach-to.... 

okay when finn poe and rey hugged at the end okay I DID FEEL SOMETHING IN MY COLD DEAD HEART

FINN JUST LOVES THEM! SO MUCH! THERE IS SO MUCH LOVE IN THAT BOY’S HEART

and probably up until that moment i hadn’t really cared about having a Trio in the new movies like we had han and leia and luke but that hug had me feeling like... okay... Friendship IS Great

okay back to kylo, i tweeted this but i’ll repeat here: my favourite arc in media has always been snape’s, to me it is the perfect ‘redemption’ arc (and yes this will make people scrunchy-nosed angry, so i will point out: redemption to me has always meant redemption in the eyes of the reader/viewer, not in-world, this is true for anakin/vader too, who also has a nearly flawless ‘redemption’ arc) but now it’s kylo solo ren ben

I LOVE HIM. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH I CAN’T STAND IT A LITTLE

HE FELL IN LOVE? AND IT SAVED HIM

HE WAS LOST AND HE FOUND HIS OTHER HALF

AND HE DIED BECAUSE SHE WAS STRONG ENOUGH TO CARRY IT ALL

CARRY THE LEGACY WHEN HE COULDN’T!!!

IT’S JUST SOSSOOSOOSOSOOSSO

i want a funko pop of ben in his comfy jumper running to fuck sheev palps the fuck up

i don’t even LIKE funko pops

naboo has a lot to answer for. literally all of these problems come from naboo

sure this movie was a big ole mess and i surely can’t wait for the good old disk horse

but i’m riding this high for as long as i can

because it was always about LOVE! LOVE CAN IGNITE THE STARS

so sure, this movie pandered terribly. but i am one of the people it pandered to and i am HAPPY INDEED

remember when maz kanata was like ‘your parents aren’t coming back but there is someone who still could’ YEAH IT WAS BEN!!!!!

:)

[twoidiotwriters1]

Home- Chapter 3 (Kylo Ren/Ben Solo x F!Oc)

Words: 2,169

Warning: Curses= Cool stuff

Chapter 2 / Chapter 4

“Wow, stop there. Are we going to help them? ” Han growled, nodding. I put my hand on his shoulder and force him away from the boys. “Han, this may come at the hands of the First Order, He could see me! We are risking a lot ”

“Quiet, Kid. That will not happen. We will deliver the droid to Leia and then we will leave”

"Is that your plan?" I ask incredulously.

"Basically."

“Your plans never work, Solo. I have a bad feeling"

"Hey, we won't let him hurt you again, everything will be fine" I raise my eyebrows.

"He could hurt you too, Han"

“I don't believe it, but we will not reach those situations. Come on, Breathe”

_________________________________

“Chewie, I already told you that I will not. No matter how much you beg,” the Wookie continues to complain, among his growls I can understand that he already wants the bandage removed, even if he still bleeds a little. "I already told you no," I say and then leave the ship.

I walk ignoring Chewbacca and find the pretty planet that already knew, I know that the friend Han was referring to was Maz, I can't wait to see her again. I walk around the falcon to check if it has any other breakdown and when I don't find it I decide to go to the front, where Han and Rey are chatting while they see the lake.

"I was thinking of having more crew, Rey," I stop at Han's words. I frown uncertainly, he had never mentioned that before. “A second officer. Somebody help me. Someone to keep up with Chewie and me and appreciate the falcon”

Wait, what?

"But, I thought Kiara was your second officer," she replies. I am his second officer! "Wait, are you offering me a job?" Her tone changes, she seems excited.

I do not understand what is happening, Han is going to fire me? After so many years? How dare he? And without telling me before.

I feel a terrible pain in my chest and I move back so that I no longer listen to them. Did I do something wrong? I thought that-

In that Chewie and Finn walk out of the ship.

“Chewie," says Han turning "Check the ship," I already did it and he didn't even notice it, of course how was he going to do it? If you are preparing my replacement. I bite my bottom lip, he doesn't trust me anymore?

Ok, I can accept someone else in the crew, it would be great to have another girl on board, especially her, but Han said he needed a second officer. What about me? I’m not good enough, right? I tense my body when I look at Rey. A couple of sounds distract me, BB-8 approaches and tells me that the little stones around me shook for a moment, as if it were a tremor. Oh no.

"It's nothing" I sigh relaxing. "Sometimes it happens" without saying anything else, we all walk towards a construction at the end of the lake.

"Solo, why are we here?" Finn asks.

“To take your droid on a clean ship. The first order must have already detected us, we must change it to protect ourselves. Maz Katana is our best option to bring BB-8 to the resistance.” We arrive at the huge entrance of the building, high decorated with flags, symbols and statues.

"Can we trust her?" Finn asks.

“Relax, kid. She drove this trough for a thousand years.” We climbed the entrance stairs. "Maz is an acquired taste, so let me talk to me"

"Sure, as if that had worked for us before," I say sarcastically.

"Whatever you do, don't stare at it," he adds ignoring me.

“Stare at what?" Rey and Finn ask at the same time making me laugh.

“Nowhere”

The music plays and we find different types of creatures and races, Han and I get ahead, while the other two are admiring the place.

Suddenly we hear a shout "Han Solo!" causing all the attention to be focused on us. Great.

"Hi, Maz," Han says awkwardly. Maz approaches and everyone turns to their own business.

"Where is my boyfriend?" She questions.

“Chewie is working on the Falcon”

"I like that Wookie," She says making me laugh. She notices my presence. "Oh and my dear girl, Kiara," She adds taking my hands.

"It's nice to see you again, Maz," I said, leaning a little toward her small height.

"My pleasure, honey," She says adjusting her huge glasses and returns to Han. "But I assume they aren't here just to say hello." You need something, desperately. Let's get to the point,” She says, gesturing with her hand and walking to a table, we all follow her.

When we sit down, BB-8 tells her why we are here.

"A map? To Skywalker himself?” She laughs, looking at Han and me. "You got into trouble again," she teases.

"Maz, I need you to take this droid to Leia," She thinks.

“No," we all look surprised. "You two have long been escaping this fight. Go home,” I move in my uncomfortable chair.

"Leia doesn't want to see me," Han adds, denying.

"She would kill me if she sees me again," I feel the confused looks of Finn and Rey, but I ignore them.

"What battle?" Rey asks.

"The only battle, against the dark side" oh, here comes "Through time, I saw evil take many forms. The Sith, the Empire. Today the First Order. Its shadow spreads throughout the galaxy. We have to face them”

After that Finn goes defensive saying that no one can against the First Order. Maz analyzes it and notices that this guy just wants to run away. Rey tries to convince him, but he gets up and goes to other creatures that can help him. Rey follows.

"That went well," I say. I look up at the man, "I guess your crew broke again, Solo," I say smiling.

"What are you talking about?"

"Nothing, just that you'll still be stuck with me and Chewie"

"What?" He frowns, but then changes to realize, "You heard me talk to Rey,” I clench my teeth.

“When were you going to tell me? Leaving me on some uninhabited planet? ”

"Kid, it's not what you think, I-"

"I know what happens, Han. I'm not 18 anymore." I get up from my chair and walk to the exit.

"Where are you going?"

"You should worry about my replacement," I say and finally leave.

I walk towards the forest, my anger clouds my senses and all I can do is move on without knowing exactly where I'm going.

Among the trees, with my eyes fixated on my feet, my only company is the animals that live there, but the sound of nature is replaced by the same voice that has been chasing me, this time it is not a whisper.

I stop and look up looking around. Then you are a threat, it’s heard as an echo between the trees, followed by the sound of a lightsaber being activated. My head goes in all directions trying to find the origin of the voice, but there is no one else.

The pain in my head interrupts the sounds and every time it is more stabbing, I close my eyes. Now what I can hear is the agitated beat of my heart. My legs fail and I fall to my knees, screaming in pain until a memory comes to my mind.

Smoke enters the cabin causing Kiara to wake up confused. With difficulty, she sits on her bed and begins to cough. She doesn’t understand what is happening, with her sleepy eyes she can see that a powerful light enters the small wooden openings of her cabin. She gets out of bed and without thinking takes her lightsaber and leaves.

Bewilderment and fear govern her surroundings: everything is engulfed in flames, cries of help from their companions are heard in the distance. She looks to her right towards the path of the other cabins, she prepares to go, but a whisper interrupts her, at first she fails to understand and that is when she notices.

"Ben" whispers and looks straight ahead, she must go help others, but he is first. She returns and goes to the road to his friend's bedroom, but finds the cabin completely destroyed, his heart falls to think the worst. She shakes her head and closes her eyes for a moment concentrating on feeling the bond they both share.

"Ben" says in her mind, nothing, "Ben!"

"Kiara, you must come with me,” he replies causing relief in the girl.

"Where are you? You're good? We must help others, someone is destroying everything,” She says and opens her eyes.

"Come with me.”

"Ben, listen to me. Do you know where Luke is?" She returns to the other cabins.

"Stop!" She obeys, scared by the shout, "you must come with me, forget them, everyone is already dead,” She frowns. She can feel the danger everywhere, "Luke is the cause of all this.”

"No, that's not true,” tears fall down her cheeks, "they are screaming, we can still do something"

“Everything is lost, Kiara. Go to the temple entrance. We're both in danger, I won't let Luke hurt you. ”

"No! Enough!" I scream towards the forest and I sit on the ground. My cheeks are wet and my chest rises and falls quickly, "No more tricks!"

Suddenly I hear the sound of engines, I look up and a group of ships cross the sky, they are ships of the First Order.

“BB-8," I clean my face and get up quickly, returning to Maz's building. When I have vision of the entrance, the blaster shots start by making me stop. The ships shoot at the buildings, they all shout and run when they see the stormtroopers.

"We won't get to that," I repeat Han's words. “Sure"

I take out my blaster while I run and shoot the soldiers that I find on my way. In a moment I must hide among a pile of rubble to avoid the shots, only when I think it is convenient, I look out and continue with the fight.

"Where the hell is she?" I hear Han's scream among all the noise.

I look carefully, but I can't see where they are, so I hide and return to the forest, behind a leafy tree. In the distance I see Chewie and Han running in the opposite direction to mine. My next move is to change places, for a shot against my tree stops me and by reflection I bend down, with difficulty I go towards some rocks. Through the small spaces between rocks, I can see four stormtroopers raising their weapons towards my direction. "Shit."

"Will she be the girl they are looking for?" says one of them.

"I don't know, but we must take her"

The girl they are looking for? Rey.

The shots stop and I hear his steps approaching me. I smile at the thought of an idea and keep my blaster behind my pants.

"Please stop," I say, raising my arms out slowly. "Don't hurt me, I'll go with you" Such a good actress.

"Wait for her and warn Kylo Ren,” two of them approach, while another pulls out a small device, and I take advantage of the distraction.

"We have the girl-" I take out my gun and shoot at four. Everyone falls easily.

"No, you don’t.”

Suddenly I hear screams, but this time they sound excited, they are screams of victory in the distance, different ships fly and attack those of the First Order. The resistance.

"Back off!" the soldiers stop attacking and run to their ships.

I run back to the fortress. Several huge pieces of concrete obstruct my path, so I climb one of them to have a better vision and to continue.

Everything changes when my sight falls on a specific enemy ship. The entrance ramp is down and a black figure with a girl in her arms walks towards her.

"Holy Shit,” My feet fail and I fall to the ground covered with debris and glass. I complain when I feel something bury in my back.

"Kid!" Han comes to my side, "Are you alright?"

"My ego hurts right now," I say getting up with his help. When I'm already stable, I don't hesitate to hit his shoulder hard.

"Why was that?" He says complaining. “You should respect your elders, girl”

"Will we just hand them the droid and leave?" I yell at him and he makes a face.

"Did he see you?" He questions worriedly. I shake my head.

"I don’t think so"

"Rey!" We both turn to the other voice. Finn screams at the ship where Kylo Ren entered a few moments ago. Wait, he has Rey and she...

"Oh no…”

"What?" Han asks. My hands shake as I realize.

"I won’t be able to hide anymore"

[c4tto626]

star wars the rise of skywalker — spoilers below!

disclaimer i guess, this might only be semi-coherent cause it usually takes me a few days to fully work through a new movie in my head, but i wanted to share my first impressions and thoughts anyways!

ok so i’m gonna start with the good (the bad below the cut): this movie definitely had things i absolutely loved! it looked amazing! it had great characters! cool planets! aliens! starships! the force! lightsaber fights! you know, all the things that i love about star wars. the colourful, beautiful festival on that desert planet, those thousands of ships coming out of hyperspace to help the rebels in their fight, the voices of familiar jedi speaking to rey, the main trio finally going on their quest together, the ominous ruins of the death star, the return to the abandoned skywalker home where everything began, rey taking the skywalker name to honour luke and leia... those kinds of moments filled my heart with joy!! that’s what i’m here for!!!

sadly... much of the rest of the movie just felt... rushed. it felt incomplete and at the same time as if they tried to cram three stories worth of material into one movie. i don’t mind fast-paced action, but there were so many moments where i would’ve loved for this movie to slow down a bit, to let the viewer take in what’s happening, to let the characters talk with each other! like, i love star wars for this fascinating universe it has created and i want nothing more than to know more about it! i want to see more than short glimpses of the alien worlds and their inhabitants that the good guys are fighting for! i want these characters to bond and interact with each other on-screen instead of so much being implied or happening off-screen!

this sequels trilogy had so much potential for amazing stories and it’s sad that most of them never came to be. force-sensitive finn is made real but beyond a few moments of ‘sensing’ something that’s it. especially after leia’s lightsaber is found why was finn never given the chance to train alongside rey? there’s a whole company of ex-stormtroopers that defected just like finn but beyond one single speaking character and like two conversations it’s never mentioned again. c2po briefly loses his memory which, sure, gave us some funny jokes, but it barely adds anything to the story and when his memories are restored by r2d2 no one even seems to remember the whole thing anymore.

and like, don’t even get me started on the blatant racism, the misogyny, and of course the big pile of garbage that was the whole rey/kylo thing. like. wow. so poe randomly has a background as a drug smuggler now? also there’s a random woman he’s apparently romantically involved with or... something? a woman who very much intends to kill them but then rey beats up her companions and suddenly it’s all fine? who the fuck knows? kylo ren gets his redemption (which, fine, whatever, i wasn’t really invested either way, tho i like redemption through death as a trope) but then there’s a random kiss?? for whatever fucking reason??? like... what was even the point?

also, palpatine? FUCKING HATED THAT. instead of coming up with something new, something interesting, they’re giving us the same villain from like the previous six (or rather, eight) movies and three tv shows? REALLY?! originality is dead, huh? killing palpatine and saving his son was anakin skywalker’s final triumph, his redemption... and we’re just gonna go ‘oh actually he failed at that lol’ like... wow. what rubbish. there’s literally a whole galaxy of material to play with and they really kept giving us the same villain, just with ever bigger and badder weapons. FUCKING YAWN. how easy it would’ve been to come up with a new interesting villain who somehow found out about rey’s relation to palpatine and decided to try and use that for their own gain. (but also rey palpatine is absolute bullshit and i will die on the rey kenobi hill thank you.)

i could keep ranting but honestly i’m just... sad that this grand, fascinating universe of scifi and fantasy gets treated like this. star wars has so much potential! so much that i would love to see and explore! there’s a reason the animated tv shows are some of my favourite star wars material, because they explore a lot of smaller stories and have fun filler episodes that give me a glimpse into this galaxy that goes beyond the grand, over-arching plot. in fact, all those little things give me a reason to CARE about the big plot, the big threat! but instead we get writers and producers who seem to think that all it takes is coming up with an even bigger threat than the previous one, combined with impressive cgi and cinematography, to carry a whole movie. and don’t get me wrong, i absolutely love it when a movie is visually stunning! but there’s just nothing that’s more important than a solid plot and good characters, and the rise of skywalker simply left me... disappointed.

there are so many interesting stories that could’ve been told in the aftermath of the defeat of palpatine’s empire at the end of return of the jedi, but instead we essentially got... palpatine’s empire 2: electric boogaloo. yawn.

in the end it’s just a movie, and i have my imagination to pick out the things i liked and make something different out of them in my head, but these same problems (bad plot, shallow characters, etc) keep showing up in more and more movies and franchises lately, and it’s just really sad that modern entertainment has become just a tool to make more and more money for a few greedy, ignorant people, instead of connecting us all as human beings with exciting and emotionally engaging stories that represent all of us and help us learn and grow as a society.

[alethiaii]

TROS is the movie fandom deserves but not the one it needed

Alright, I’ve seen the movie today. When I got home, my father asked me how the movie was. If I had to describe it in one sentence it would be “Flash, trash and a lot of cash.”

My immediate thought as opening crawl glided across the screen was that they really went with the minimal time difference they thought would be acceptable after TLJ decided to start like 48 hours following the destruction of Starkiller base. Oh, and there was a guy four rows behind me, asking very loudly “What do they mean, Palpatine?” The movie, with all the scene changes and scavenger hunt, feels like an expensive but ultimately very bad video game. And that’s on top of the feeling of it being actually made out of five different movies that were chopped for parts that were then put together by duct tape. 

In less then five minutes, there were ten scene changes. It’s not even plot, plot, plot with no decent characterization. It’s an infodump that yields no logical results whatsoever with a shit ton of OT nostalgia pandering. 

Everyone’s characters were flushed down the toilet in some ludicrous effort of damage control or something. Anyway, they managed to retcon not just TLJ but also TFA. 

Poe, Finn, and Rey arguing is anxiety-inducing. That’s not a trio. Possibly the only character they shoved into this movie that had some kind of consistency was Armitage Hux. Him being the spy for the Resistance because of simple pettiness of wanting Kylo Ren to fail tracks to their previous interactions. That’s it. The rest...massacred beyond repair. It’s probably a good thing Adam Driver had few lines to speak in TROS. 

Space Coachella. Yup, that’s a thing. Lando Calrissian to crank up nostalgia pandering to the maximum. Also, TROS has an even worse time schedule than the space chase from TLJ. The unnecessary drama around 3PO. Boring stuff. Oh! Poe Dameron, son of famed Rebel fighters, used to smuggle spice before becoming a Republic pilot and then Resistance member. Spice! Very often used in SW universe as an umbrella term for various drugs. I’m sure his parents would have been very proud. The fuck JJ?

Finn...Where do I start? John Boyega can act okay. And yet...wasted. From an interesting character of a brainwashed stormtrooper with possibly latent Force sensitivity to being Rey torchbearer and a fuckboy. Awesome. And since I am talking about Finn, are we gonna talk about the atrocity of the other former Stormtroopers that rebelled and JJ managed to completely rob that vital, life-altering decisions they made of their own free will by crediting the Force giving them a nudge. I...wow.

I guess Exogol was supposed to be something like the Valley of the Sith Lords on Korriban. Cheap, shallow knock off. They managed to make Palpatine boring. Speaking of him, who fucked the shriveled raisin and had a kid with him? Because the other option is even more gross and horrifying. 

So Rey and Ben. Apparently Force bond can do anything now, even passing physical objects to each other on command. Cool. But more importantly...THAT’S NOT HOW FORCE HEALING WORKS YOU ABSOLUTE DUMBFUCK! IF IT DID, THE JEDI HEALERS OF THE OLD ORDER WOULD HAVE BEEN DROPPING DEAD LIKE FLIES!

Rey Palpatine sounds like something JJ read on subredit and decided to go with it. There was absolutely no one in the theatre I was in that had any reaction besides occasional choked laughter. That’s it. Oh, one little girl asked ‘Why’.

Let’s not forget that apparently Leia was fully trained to be a Jedi but then quit at the last second cause she saw some darkness taking her son and yet I have questions. One: When exactly did this training happen? And two: If Leia Organa Skywalker Solo was a Jedi in all but final declaration as such, why the fuck did she not protect and help her son who has been haunted by Palpatine since he was in her womb?! Honest to fuck, ya’ll screaming about Luke’s character assassination when Leia was so butchered, it’s amazing. This woman who fought tooth and nail against Empire and Palpatine, instead of trying to find a way to shield her son, she kept on looking at him for any signs of Vader and when he was too much for her to handle, she dumped him on Luke. Who then had a moment of weakness and tried to murder him. Which he never told Leia and Han about. Han who got killed by his own son without knowing any speck of truth. Because Leia and Luke said nothing as he was not Force-sensitive so he wouldn’t understand. 

But Leia and Luke did all that and yet...were completely aware at all times that Rey was the granddaughter of a person who managed to tilt their father towards the darkness and actively encouraged her, giving her positive reinforcement. Something they completely denied their own blood. Cool, cool, cool.

“Don’t be afraid of who you are.” ARE YOU SERIOUS MOTHERFUCKER?!

Don’t be afraid...you literally were afraid of your own child from the moment he was born and failed to provide him with not only adequate parenting but protection. 

So...they crammed all them past Jedi, including Anakin Skywalker, to give Rey (who is not the Rey I saw in TFA and TLJ) strength to fight Palpatine. Cause she’s all Jedi. OP much?

The third act was so crammed with everything, honestly, the only good thing is Adam Driver showing everyone who Ben Solo was once free from all that dark miasma without saying one fucking word. All body language and facial expressions. That kiss...maybe for Ben Solo it was love, but considering how Rey was done until that point, that was more grateful kind of kiss than kissing your fucking soulmate. Who then drops dead two seconds later. And she doesn’t like...have not even two minutes of even low key grief. 

In the end, the cherry on top of nostalgia pandering, they decided to do a binary sunset on Tatooine with Rey. At which point, Rey had scavenged Kylo Ren/Ben Solo’s lightsaber skills, his life, and his family’s name. The Rise of the Skywalker is Palpatine becoming a Skywalker. Like Thor’s name, Skywalker name is now transferrable to an unrelated person by them simply saying so. 

It was atrocious fail at fanservice to appease first and foremost OT fans that had been yapping on various comments and YouTube how TLJ killed Star Wars. And every other screamer. Cowardly to say the least because when you look at comments and reviews for OT, PT and ST movies, you’ll find a ridiculously large amount of similar ones. People have been screaming about SW movies not being right since the 80′s yet Disney decided to cave in. So congrats, Star Wars fandom, this movie is not what we needed but it is absolutely what we deserve. A Palpatine saga about stealing Skywalker family name. 

The only conclusion as to the moral of the whole story that JJ Abrams tried to convey?

Anakin Skywalker should have never been born or Qui-Gon Jinn should have left him on Tatooine as a slave. 

[elizabethrobertajones]

14x04 watching notes

Happy Birthday, Davy!

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Mittens just ominously warned me to warm up this notepad while I waited for the episode to finish downloading.

The nice guy from the phone provider has recently restored our internet after 4 days of radio silence from me, but it's only about 4'o clock on friday, so really some good timing!

Expectations: pre-mittens warning, Davy back on his nonsense with the scary episodes and expected nonsense of sinking back into MotW after mytharc but in capable hands because, you know, new writing team is aces and all.

post-mittens warning: idk but I should get a stuffed toy?

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That's a suspicious amount of ghost lore.

Has Heaven started dumping the spirits out now and if it really IS a ghost it's not going to behave properly?

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Oh my god it's a Hell Hazers poster.

There was something I would have talked about pre-episode but had no internet so didn't, but the focus on Dean and nerds and the expectation that this episode would be about a comic book store, did remind me of 9x07 and the action figure which was all "i clobber evil!" and was a strong Dean mirror, including that he needlessly burned it on the stove to try and get rid of the ghost of the mom but it turned out she needed to be talked into letting her son let her go in a scene which has all sorts of shades of Dean vs Mary in 12x22 now and also Dean's entire mark of cain arc was in the self-destruction of his self as an action figure that clobbered evil. A reminder that Dean is this figure seems fairly timely with him coming down from being possessed, as of course he has been used as an action figure. And his willingness to turn himself into one in 13x23 was very much turning himself into the Michael Sword, which in this cosmos is practically like the rarest collectible action figure of the universe. This harks back all the way to the first season and Dean's issues with John's control and the whole blunt little instrument arc, also something that fed directly into demon!Dean, and is being reflected this season in Nick, who murdered a guy with a hammer, after his family was murdered by a hammer, and said yes to Lucifer because of all that angst about hammer murder. Subtle.

Anyway, this is sort of the emotional background to me for action figures in the show.

A Hell Hazers poster also reminds us that Dean is a horror fan, his own connections to the genre, a CLASSIC episode, and a time when he was living his best life briefly.

You know, before he sold his soul for *waves at previous big paragraph* reasons

Fitting for how season 13 ended with Dean this close to happy world peace retirement living his best life :P

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Awww the fake movie the MotW comes from is called All Saints Day. Davyyy :')

People I know who are born on like October SECOND consider themselves extra spooky halloween people. I can only imagine what it does, as a 23rd Oct. birthday person, to the psyche to actually be born ON it.

This episode's subtitle is just "Lol I have the best birthday, fuckers"

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ACTUAL CLIP FROM 2x18!

And the fucking racist truck >.> Which in-universe was teased as another different movie using the footage in the trailer for Hell Hazers II.

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My mum has that exact Wonder Woman figure

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This guy is wearing a trenchcoat-featured jacket with a maroon t-shirt under it. I could not tell you what he represents but the trenchcoat part is amusing.

I can't *actually* start saying everything is party!Cas symbolism though so I'll just shush

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Er this rando that people were saying was dressed like Sam from the promo images literally is called Sam, and she's wearing a very very loud checkered shirt, of course featuring a lot of orange. I'm guessing with that info it's next to impossible to say she ISN'T in some way a Sam parallel :P

Comic Book Guy is possibly caught in the middle of stealing an action figure, and I can't work out if he is just nervous about that or has a crush on Sam because his behaviour was so suspect, but from the promo scene where he looks a lil worse for the wear he talks about breaking up with his goth gf, and Sam is very clearly a nerd, not a goth.

(Goth nerds are things. The media will get there one day :P)

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Oh okay after a few lines of the exchange, yeah this guy is a dick, I have NO clue why he's wearing that coat symbolism wise, and Sam really ought to fire him because wow, uncool and also he seems to be a stereotypical nerdbro gatekeeper who would literally rather scare off customers but be right than just enjoy what they all enjoy together.

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Then he apologises for getting angry for saying he just gets spun out sometimes. Honestly, this seems to be crossing over into Dean territory considering the last thing from the recap was Dean being told he was like Michael by Bad Kaia and being really angry when he said he was nothing like him... He also used "spun out" about himself in 12x20 but in rather more tragic lost-Cas circumstances but obviously this parallel has a different lesson to tell than just making them equivalent. This guy is so awful and is using his anger in a petty way over things that don't really matter. He's getting spun out over made up battles rather than real angst, and whether he has his own underlying trauma that makes him behave that way or not, the straight white nerd is one of the secondary main villains of the century so far after the literal alt right, with some overlap of course. Think Kylo Ren as one of the dominant critiques of this behaviour :P Compared to the open of 8x11 for example, where the nerds were harmless weirdoes despite also being straight white and obsessive, the aggression and obsession are played not just as a harmless trait of people who like LARPing and collecting toys, but gatekeep, yell at kids over superman facts, and refuse to have their own dominance challenged.

Thinking he could fight superman might actually explain the Cas like jacket - it's too short to be a coat - that he idealises these heroes, is wearing Batman (who in pop culture most recently was around "v superman") and Cas of course has all his superman comparisons from both 6x20, and his rebirth in 12x01 where he came back to earth as a fiery comet and was immediately mistaken for a spaceman. There's some dark idolisation/mirroring here, that he's debating how to fight the guy (krytonite gloves = the BMoL knuckledusters) and at the same time mirroring the show's Superman in his dress. Only much, much lesser. More subtextual mockery about his weakness and how he doesn't really measure up.

I think in a lot of ways the discourse about nerds in pop culture is moving on now to  make this difference clear, that the ones who will be mocked are the ones who deserve it for being too cruel to respect, while in many other ways the mainstreaming of nerd culture into pop culture, meaning a large amount of it is no longer mockable, that everyone had at least SOME nerdy indulgences, means that in general nerdom is more accepted and exalted than ever. SPN obviously having its own deep roots into nerd culture has some direct room for commentary here, and this is also a way of reminding its own fans to be cool and not to be this guy.

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Oh, huh, he safely exited the shop. I did not see that coming.

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LOL he has batman bedding on a fold out bed in either a shed, garage or basement where he lives.

(This detail was tragic in Attack the Block but it's quite clear in this case the guy is fully grown and is being used as a detail to show his forward progression in life)

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Wow, you really have some rage issues here. Especially trying to wrangle free pizza i mean dude. Talk about a line that personifies him 100 different ways in one go :P Who shouts at their pizza delivery place?? They remember your number! This is how to get extra toppings.

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Oh my god please get beaten to death by this lil guy

(I know I know he survives he's in the promo)

Is this like... haunted kidney episode... but better?

Actually, Fallen Idols plus Mannequin episode but better.

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You know how we saw in the last new year? Watching Small Soldiers for the first time since like the 90s or whenever it came out

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The show's animation is so much better

Than Small Soldiers and itself from past years

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Oh DEAN

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I mean he totally deserves a day off.

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I can't believe he owns these socks. Who got them for him for Christmas?

Okay, well first we have to work out which was the last Christmas they had where they were not in prison or in an alternate dimension or dead or -

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Cas. It was Cas.

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He literally had no idea this wasn't just a cute commentary on how much Chinese take out Dean eats

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Anyway as far as I can tell Dean is living out the bisexualdemondean header just to spite Michael for defiling his temple. He's filling it with noods and pizza (and I am sure he didn't yell at the delivery guy, but tipped him well instead for making drop offs at a shady street corner miles from where anyone lives)

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Honestly it's been 12 years since Hell Hazers II... What took them so long

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Dean's drunk a full thing of Margiekugle mom beer, which is a lil worrying just in terms of him using it instead of comfort from her like in 12x02, now that she's back.

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God I want Dean to meet the asshole from the comic shop and for him to get into a dick measuring contest about Hell Hazers II and Dean to be like uh I WORKED on it you ass

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Er, does that vending machine contain the nougat of choice of your consumptive son on the other side of the wall?

(who may be out with Cas concealing his consumption on a case so not bothered by all this TV noise)

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God I love and have missed Dean, my trashy guy who is sitting hugging a pillow like a teen girl at a sleepover to watch his hatchetman slasher to celebrate being back to himself and get the much-needed R&R, since, you know, last time we saw him he threatened to "break" Kaia and was in a very very bad place (lol)

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This guy about to get murdered for trying to snatch a nougat bar is dressed like the unfortunate bandmate (Tommy?) to Vincifer. Is this an oblique Ladyheart reference to set up a weird scenario where Hatchetman is punishing a Lucifer-adjacent asshole for trying to steal Nougat?

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I can't believe there's a red exit sign behind him which means Wanek is Waneking in multiple dimensions at once

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"Mint Condition" flashes up over Dean indulging in his pizza, saying, hey look it's our guy back in shape. Or, you know, ironically so. Either because Dean being Dean means eating junk food and wallowing because his husband has wandered off with the kid and isn't home to snuggle him while he does this mandatory bedrest, or because, of course, Dean is not Mint Condition at all. He's literally and emotionally scarred.

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I am pretty sure this shirt that Sam has on is 12 years old.

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Statistically, they're gonna get murdered in each and every one of their original Kripke era shirts until none of them are available to be murdered in later.

I say for no particular reason.

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Leave Sam alone. He doesn't shave you mock him, he does shave, you... also mock him. He was doing really well while you were gone! No one got even slightly stabbed who didn't deserve it! This is an all-time record. A beard is a price to pay for that.

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Honestly I think Dean is stoned but they're not going to say so but I am treating this scene like it is.

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"I wanted to check up on you," Sam says, pulling over a chair. This is so like how he was in 14x01 when he was powering around the Bunker being the boss, and given Dean's been on bedrest, again, much-needed, Sam is treating him like another one of his charges, and once more is in a position of authority... But now, despite shaving to act like nothing has changed a bit more, he is the one in charge of Dean as one of his wards. Everything has changed. Your dynamic is actually wobbling in a weird way.

In season 10 when Dean was laid up with the Mark blues especially around 10x12, which this intro also reminds me of, re: Dean spending a week in his room and Sam popping in to check on him, Sam was still keeping a very wary eye on Dean more that he was a bomb that may explode, and that while he needed to be managed, the power dynamic was extremely, extremely horrifying in that if Sam messed up Dean would murder him. Not an ongoing implicit threat between them, but the knowledge that Dean could become a demon again and demon!Dean would attempt to kill Sam, and so Sam had better do his utmost to keep Dean in a good place. Even if it eventually meant a series of convoluted secrets to try and fix him against his wishes.

Obviously, things are different here. Sam has developed a LOT since then, with season 11 beginning a recovery of his character in tentative little steps which actually kicked off in season 12, and, specifically, in 12x04 under Davy Perez in American Nightmare heralding the new era of Sam focus and lovingly stroking his hair and lavishing him with Sam-sculpted episodes the like of which we hadn't seen all through Carver era.

Now when Sam comes into Dean's room and pulls up a chair and sits down to check up on him, he actually radiates a comfortable, competent authority to do so.

... however he is doing it in that pink shirt which I honestly love the concept of but just wish that I couldn't see Sam in 2x06 showing up in it for the first time, like, my brain is just screaming at him to go get a bunch more pink shirts and refresh his wardrobe

I'm so certain of it but now I have to check because 12 years is such a long time but

http://www.homeofthenutty.com/supernatural/screencaps/albums/SPN2x06/SPN_0060.jpg

Mittens yelled "OH MY GOD" when I sent her the link so I think I'm right

Like, conceptually in every way it's great because it's this long pink shirt that fits him well, fuck toxic masculinity, blah blah action heroes in pink shirts, love it love it love it, but also: it's another fucking plaid shirt Sam has owned since he was a gap-toothed child six years younger than Jack presents as

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Dean is lacking his second bedside table, as he has been for seasons, but I'm just staring at him lying sideways on his bed, wondering about his set up, and if this is in any way similar to how he watched all those cowboy movies with Cas, since Davy, of course, was the one to suggest that they had been watching movies together.

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"And... not that I'm complaining... House is full of strangers"

Yeah, we know you hate it, Dean. God, it's tragic. In a wonderful way. Sam's built this little empire for himself and it's on top of Dean's old nesting spot. Dean's been forced into his room not just to hide away because he's ashamed but because he doesn't want to be seen and there's too many strange eyes out there. However this resolves, it's going to force some growth. Honestly, as much as Dean loves this room and it means to us, it's also a bleak lonely spot and in the like 7 years they've had the Bunker, Dean's never hooked up in that bed, while it has come to be very much like, well... The bed of an angry nerd living in a basement still using Batman sheets. Again, dark parallels, but of Dean in a dark place.

I'd love if he moved out and got a house in the suburbs.

I mean.

Cas has a house in the suburbs.

(Re: long-running Lizzy watching notes in-jokes about where he stashes a bunch of stuff like demon tablets, first blades, metatron's grace, etc etc)

But yeah, no. I like the idea of Dean nesting, of course. But aside from the obvious conveniences, the Dean Cave, etc, there's no reason it HAS to be here except that this is their inheritance and it's safe. But as I constantly talk about with the library abutting the war room, the work/life balance is always in question and filling the Bunker with strangers is a great way to shove all the life balance out, and leave the only spot left of that to Dean in this room.

If the AU peeps don't all get sent home but remain at least in part a hunter community and maybe even network and grow as the Winchesters finally open up the Bunker's resources and share them and stop being all isolated like Carver era fiercely protected... Dean might have no choice but to move his nesting down the road to somewhere with a sofa where he can park his car out front, and choose to commute in to work.

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Awww they have the "our lives are a scary movie" argument again, in a well-worn way. So well-worn this is repeating dialogue from somewhere or other... 2x18? 4x07? God I don't know, implicit in Sam's eyerolling at Halloween in 1x01? All of the above? I am not looking that up. But anyway their stances haven't moved, possibly because this is something that has never really been challenged before. If Sam didn't hate scary movies already, watching 18 hours of Hell Hazers II dailies probably did in any remaining sympathy he would have had towards them, while Dean thrived there.

I guess he may finally have had time to watch it?

And of course stay for the credits to see his name.

Anyway Dean has historically cited movies as research or job adjacent, or vicariously enjoyed watching monsters at work from the safe remove of a screen, while Sam throws it all in to that box where of course it goes to 1x01 where he's running away from ALL of it and has his oddly specific choices to avoid halloween in his day to day as Lawboy. He's struggled to indulge in the weird as a hobby, likes serial killers as, as far as we can diagnose, an outlet of darkness but purely human, and keeps the work/life balance in a rather unhealthy way of denial and boxing things away, because so much of his early seasons arcs were about resisting the life and refusing the call. This harks back to their literal first episode characterisations of Dean being all in and Sam being all out and it's interesting to have us back here in season 14, in a period of such deep reflection, when Sam has finally sort of accepted the life, found a niche in the work that suits him as the boss, and Dean is struggling now with retirement questions, and taking a week off, not liking his home full of strangers, etc etc.

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"More Michael Monsters?" Dean asks immediately quick fire when Sam says he has a case.

He may have taken a week off to indulge in pizza but that obsession lurks under his skin. He's in no way done, though I think perhaps better prepared to enter this case than he had been, though of course he's billed as still struggling.

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Dean also instantly recognises the Thundercats name, and I'm afraid it's something I'm just not familiar with, that I clearly missed some wave of it when I was younger and it hasn't come back around as an adult... I can't wait to read stuff by people who know more about it and say tragic things about Dean's connection to it. But the important thing here is the dark mirror to the guy who got beat up by the toy, because Dean is being shown as also an enthusiastic nerd who knows the franchise and is excited by this concept and is leaping into a case about it with a "strippers, Sammy. Finally!" level of enthusiasm.

Healthy nerds and unhealthy nerds. But at the same time, Dean might be a better nerd, but his anger last episode is still being examined through this guy.

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I love that for Sam and Dean, dressing up for Halloween is dressing up like total nerds in a totally different pop culture way - the old appearance of geeks which is wildly outdated but damned if they aren't putting on pocket protectors anyway. It's a caricature but it's one that is at total odds with who they are as people... More of a traditional halloween thing where normally Sam and Dean are really scary people with weapons, so when you make them dress all topsy turvy, they dress like this instead. They ARE halloween costumes, in their day to day.

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Dean continues watching in the shop, Sam eyes up the Red Hood.

I watched that a million years ago with no idea that Jensen was in it, though I had watched the first couple of seasons at that point. I think it was during my "aww the show was cancelled" phase where it was completely off my radar. It's hilarious to me now, because I don't think I COULD watch it, now I know Jensen's voice so disproportionately well. It would be so off-putting.

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"She's like your twin."

Sam and Sam both tuck their hair behind their ears at the same moment.

"What are you talking about?"

So. This is going to be extremely subtle.

I hope New Sam survives the episode D:

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Sam points out the other guy who people were saying based off the promo pics would be the Dean to this girl's Sam with no idea what was to come. He and Dean in this case are both eating lollipops purloined from the halloween candy.

I guess this guy in the All Saints Day t-shirt shares Dean's love of the same franchise, and seems to represent the bizarre venn diagram with Dean on one side and Andrew Dabb on the other. Their nerdy overlap.

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I feel like Sam is just pointing out this character mirror to be an annoying sibling and wow do I love seeing them like this.

I also feel like there is no way Davy would do this if he wasn't about to troll the fuck out of us with these parallels in some terrifying meta way and pointing out that character parallels are a thing this blatantly is about to be Awful somehow.

-

The Red Hood is staring disapprovingly at them through all of this

-

Anyway of course Dean Parallel immediately recognises Dean's enthusiasm for Hatchetman and encourages him to press the button, which Dean does with glee. I CLOBBER EVIL. Wait no.

Sometimes we do bad things.

Oh dear.

Oh deeeeeeeeeeear.

Yeah, Hatchetman is like... idk, michael!Dean or something. Or some dark part of Dean where all his violence is and this twisted version is almost like the burned result of the I Clobber Evil hero being melted by Dean and - too meta, I am in pain.

-

"Vintage hot wheels!"

I know what you want because I have a smol 67 impala on my shelf. Nyoom.

-

He has an eeny weenie mystery machiney so he can make them race.

-

Okay guy who got beat up by a toy is called Stuart (I am so bad at names, honestly.)

Of course he got kicked out by his roomie for being insufferable about something as pointless as subs vs dubs, and Sam is already apologising for him before they even go meet him.

Considering there's 3 people working at the shop and Stuart had a trenchcoat, but is also being mirrored to Dean, darkly, I feel like there might be some serious shuffling going on here that surface level, Stuart had that Cas marker, but... yeah

-

Heeee Dean stealing the Flash mug and making Sam have the one with the cats all over it. One mug representing Stuart, one representing his mum.

I mean it is Sam's turn to have a relationship with THEIR mom this season. Idk if the mugs are actually symbolic over anything other than Dean living his best geek life right now.

I mean he's added the glasses to his ensemble, he's really living it up.

I hope he's still wearing Send Noods under this

-

Awww it's hot apple cider. What a good mom. This is a perfect halloween drink.

-

*Stuart Rage Sounds from below*

Wow this is subtle that he has some rage issues.

-

"Campbell and sons insurance" Hey remember when I said that this whole season's emotional set up with Sam's ownership of the AU peeps reminded me of season 6 and the Campbells? They also literally are the sons of Mary Campbell, so.

No lies, at least, with some serious stretching of the truth.

-

God, the detail that Dean has played Zelda.

He's being nerdy out loud constantly, and without much fear of judgement. It's wonderful. I guess he's been jostled up enough by Michael that he doesn't really care to hide this random pointless thing that in the grand scheme why should he be ashamed, and also he feels so much worse about other things that this is just an escape to have fun. It also reminds me of last season when he was mourning Cas except that this indulgence Sam is allowing him is co-sponsored by Dean and he's throwing himself into enjoying the smaller things and being more openly Dean-ish than he has in a while. Like, I don't think character comparisons to 8x11 for the nerds is the only way the episodes link :P

-

In 8x11 Dean's initial reaction to LARPing is that it looks awesome, then he corrects at a look from Sam to being more judgy. In 9x04 as scripted, Sam is surprised that Dean want to read Game of Thrones. So idk if that's just Robbie character interpretations since my 2 surface level examples are from his episodes or if that's just been where open nerdery has lived in past years, but anyway. Sam isn't stopping Dean from indulging in the same way - it seems he also recognises Dean's nerdiness and is less threatened by it than before, in the sense that he doesn't feel like Dean isn't acting himself, but now accepts the nerdiness is a part of Dean.

-

"Who needs goth girl drama" dude you are the most awful over-dramatic asshole on the show now Lucifer is dead

-

LOL he's trying to lie about being attacked by a toy now, and Dean points out that he got whooped so thoroughly he was beaten on the back and genitals - so yeah we look at his face and wiiiiince

-

"Lady you wasn't kidding."

-

"Big Bang in there..."

Goodness are we calling out the Big Bang theory for its toxic nerdery? Love it.

-

Sam and Dean halloween costumed as total nerds, still driving around in the Impala. The reverse of someone rolling up in a boring old modern car and, like, a bunch of Draculas get out.

-

Sam can shave off the beard but it can't stop him Bobby-ing

Dean side-eyes this

-

"Yeah, it was Riley, he'll be fine."

"I don't know who Riley is, but cool."

God, I am so into this whole dynamic.

Tell me more, Davy.

-

"So seriously, what is your deal with halloween?"

"I don't like it"

Dean, I am watching this episode on November 2nd, just so you know.

Anyway. This is literally. 1x01's opening adult Sam moment. But Dean's going back to poke Sam about it since he's someone Sam won't lie to in the same way that Sam was concealing his entire being from Jess. I mean this isn't subtle - in 1x01 Dean calls Sam out for doing this. But then, Sam doesn't exactly develop beyond it - in season 8 he does this with Amelia.

Because obviously if Sam is going to move forward and develop there's still things which are not addressed. And if Dean is having his idea of home and work challenged, and his nest disrupted until perhaps he will fly it... Sam has never ever actually addressed his work/life balance in the meaningful way where... like... this was how his difference was introduced when we first ever meet lil babby Sam smiling innocently at us on screen as a kid who has the whole future ahead of him and no idea what torment he's gonna go through. 14 years later, if he's ever going to be a grown up who can handle himself in a relationship and know what is work and what is life and how he can watch halloween movies and not feel personally offended by them but enjoy them as a fantasy and a way of boxing off their world into a safe place they don't have personal responsibility for...

Maybe he might just get a girlfriend who he can tell he is a hunter. Like. Dude. Dean was past that step before the show ever STARTED thanks to his time with Cassie.

-

Sam, also, metaphorically is an angry guy living in his mom's basement, but perhaps in a more metaphorical way where it's to do with living his whole life under the shadow of his mom horrifically dying as a result of the supernatural and being brought up feeling like a freak and just wanting to be normal and all

wheeee

-

Anyway Dean is probing for actual answers so I assume Davy will give us a solution to this this episode, but this is my take on it before we get into it properly.

-

Alternative hypothesis: Davy is personally offended that Sam doesn't like halloween despite it being the best holiday, is determined to fix that and fuck canon, characters can change even 14 years later.

-

"Don't give me this 'every day is halloween' crap because one it aint, we don't eat that much candy"

I have missed Dean and I love him with every fibre of my being, brb I need to vibrate out of existence at the sheer joy of knowing him

-

That was the worst "we aren't here staking out your house" move I have ever seen.

You are professionals who have been doing this together for 14 years

why was that so laughably bad?

-

The youtube comments are so cutting and a bunch of them are unfortunately true. It's self-awareness of using the loser nerd trope but also, cutting in a way because of course Stuart is coming across so much as someone who deserves it - and we're starting to see his mom is sweet and doesn't seem to have caused any trauma in a surface read, and that he was the one who dumped his online gf, and he starts other fights at work or with roomies, so this is getting more and more into territory where he seems fully to blame for his own situation, and therefore you CAN mock him for living in mom's basement, because he PUT himself there, and is single because he chose to be, and so on. The pervading sense that if he was a nicer person, none of this would be happening to him, right down to him stealing the toy in the first place.

-

Oh boy, the bloody handprint on the wall... We are back in handprint territory, and, you know, maybe because SOMEONE walking past it has been scarred on the wrong shoulder by the actions of an angel or something

-

There's a chinese take out carton on the shelf in this basement. I doubt it's a collectible.

Send noods.

-

Okay, that's sort of weird.

-

If the mom is in costume I don't get the reference. I hope someone else has handled that.

-

We're going to get her POV on her loser son now, I guess.

-

"Everything's fine :)" *leaves the room* "everything is not fine!"

Are we calling them out for using "fine" so loosely again too huh?

(Side note: Jack saying he's fine while consumptive, and yeah I am still upset about that. What are you doing to the boy????)

-

Dean and Sam split up and as Sam walks off a nurse eyes him up and smiles. No idea how intentional that was but I mean, can you blame her? :P

-

You know, I don't know anything about this franchise, but Sam just jumped to see a toy of a guy who looks weirdly similar to the vampires that ATE HIM a few weeks ago.

He checks over his shoulder in case Dean manifested at his side just in time to see that

-

Awww Dean and New Dean meet. "he must have awesome insurance"

He calls Stuart's mom "Babs" which is hilarious. They seem close.

New Dean has issues with his dad and Stuart lets him crash with him no questions asked. I suppose Dean isn't going to think too hard about how Sam's choice for his parallel has issues with his dad.

This forgiveness for Stuart's behaviour because he's kind to his own people is a very TFW trait, which makes New Dean more like Sam or Cas forgiving Dean his outbursts, as he's by far the ragiest of them, with Cas trailing in second and Sam the zen fucking master.

-

Lol Dean and New Dean are both dragged into the room to watch All Saints Day 3 like they're being pulled in on a line

-

Oh dear, they're bonding.

Davy isn't usually on top of these things but he's channeling a lot of Edlund today and Edlund always had these sort of guys like Andy or Aaron who are so Dean's type in a harmless shared interests and getting stoned together way. This is a bit extreme with the guy's tininess and scruffiness but you know, we'll see how this develops, if it's an accidental twins or a missed connections soulmate dealio.

... You're taking to someone who's still bitter that Andy and Dean would have been perfect together, so.

-

Also this New Dean guy is demonstrating how to be a Good Fan - he may be as intensely nerdy as Stuart, but he and Dean can compare movies and even though they don't share a favourite, agree that the whole series is great and can see the merits both in each other's favourites, and in another movie that isn't either of their favourites but could be if they happened to be inclined that way.

So healthy :')

-

"It was always nice to check out. I like watching movies where I KNOW the bad guy's going to lose"

Ow ow ow. But yeah, there's Dean's pro-Halloween rationale, that the tropeyness of the genre has its comforts that every ridiculous horror thing is entirely safe and no one is ACTUALLY going to get eaten by any of these things. Which is also how normal people enjoy horror but at the metaphorical remove of being scared by things we may not literally meet but still represent anxieties we might have in our real lives.

Catharsis, yo

-

Sam barges in on New Sam to ask her the usual series of increasingly weird questions which get the "are you really insurance?" eyebrows.

"Downtown Salem" - are they in Salem as in the witch hunt one?

-

I kinda love how New Sam is talking with a speech bubble beside her. So meta.

-

I think New Dean is called Dirk.

-

Oops Stuart wasn't one of the co-owners because he kept getting fired for stealing D: Stuart, dude.

-

"And you hired Stuart back?" "he's my friend"

I think there is commentary appearing here about not just Stuart's unhealthy explosive rage, but that the people around him enable it - even Jordan fired him TWICE rather than banish him forever. The cycle of coddling him without encouraging him to change... Again, this speaks rather more of season 10 and a critique of Sam n Cas from there rather than much currently ongoing with Dean. Sam was complicit in originally abducting Kaia and he and Jody didn't move to stop Dean with Bad Kaia, so though it's in the focus as a critique on Dean's reactions, I feel like the real bad cycles were in Carver era. Though the behaviour still somewhat exists in Dabb era, the overall unhealthiness has declined so much, there isn't a constant oppresive blanket of it as there is here in this shop with Stuart being so awful to everyone and self-destructive.

(It's probably also not a coincidence that this thing has latched onto Dean as well, a la 4x06 I'd guess... Sam got no ghost vibes in the basement, Dean did, and was attacked... To me this is seeming to suggest that his current state has picked up the ghost's ire in the same way in 4x06 he was vulnerable. Loops and loops of things going on so I'll unpick that later if it does turn out to be the case clearly.)

Anyway. This seems to be more about destructive cycles and abusive dynamics, and I would hope a nudge for Dean, though his exile at the start of this episode also suggests to me he knew full well after threatening Kaia that he'd overreacted and needed to take 5, even if there was also a layer of sulking until news of Michael. Her call out was clear enough to make him self-reflect. So I would hope that this episode is here to try and steer Dean's reaction through various pathways, ideally to keep him from falling into anything too awful, as a reminder of where this may lead?

-

Sam sees the glass case freeze over, and pulls out the EMF, playing it off and being like "nothing... carbon monoxide detector" even as New Sam is understandably a little freaked.

Is this messing with Sam's refusal to tell Jess about monsters by having him keep the truth from New Sam until she's physically endangered?

-

I mean, carbon monoxide in enough quantities to make the blatantly homemade gadget go "WHEEE" and light up every single LED is a good enough reason to flee the room

-

"I think you're in danger -" Sam is smacked around the head by Hatchetman because he delayed too long and now he has been knocked out

-

"Samantha?" Sam determined not to let New Sam out-Sam him

-

I mean if she is you then she has been knocked out

-

How does this keep happening to you

how much head trauma has Cas healed over the years?

This is why they have to keep him an angel...

-

"Is this expensive?" "Wha - no don't!" *BOING* *silence* "yeeeah it's shatterproof glass"

HA

-

If Jordan really just wants to kill Stuart for getting them a 1 star Yelp review then this also has a weird shade of 11x07 where the ghost was getting revenge and took a few attempts to kill that one guy, eventually succeeding as the clown.

Except the clown was tuned to freak Sam out

and Dean's probably gonna be thrilled to fight Hatchetman

-

Dean having movie night with new Dean (probably stoned but we can't see it) with comatose Stuart in the middle

incredible

-

2 dudes watching horror movies 5 feet apart with a comatose guy in the middle because they aren't gay

-

Dean is thrilled to fight Hatchetman

I feel like this can't last

-

Davy throws in a gratuitous Halloween moment of Hatchetman walking through the park which is just bedecked in Halloween nonsense

no one cares about him wandering around because it's Halloween

It does make you wonder just HOW much nonsense happening on Halloween really is monsters and stuff out there enjoying themselves because it's expected, which, again, like Sam n Dean dressing up as nerds for this whole episode, having monsters mixing with regular folk and being treated as equals is literally the whole Halloween thing. There's less threat than in 4x07 because we're assuming at this point in the episode that the ghost does have a pretty one-track mind about killing Stuart because with all the characterising nonsense filling the episode the actual plot has been pretty sparse considering we're getting to the final 10 minute run now. So, yeah. This Hatchetman ghost is just out there being a part of the festivities, because that's what happens on Halloween, man

-

LOL And like Sam not telling his double until it was too late, Dean gets this call and is really open in answering in front of new Dean, and now he's filling in New Dean on everything instead of trying to get him to leave or protect him not just from the monster but from knowing about it at all.

-

Davy like, hey, remember when ghosts used to do loads of freaky stuff on this show just to be scary? And maybe it seemed like you all were getting bored of it or something, but hey this guy has no idea after 14 years that he shouldn't leave the salt line when everything starts thumping in the room despite having been warned the ghost is coming...

-

Hehehe Dean gets an axe... The moment of him going to smash it then not and checking if it's open... Whether that was improv or not, it's a good character thing in the sense that Dean is being encouraged not to smash first and ask questions later by the meta plot of the episode

-

Omg New Dean is as brave as our Dean in some ways... He sees Babs in trouble, and immediately is like "HEY" and starts confronting Jordon in Hatchetman

-

"He's MY friend. He's OUR friend." That's an interesting take on my/our, because that statement works on both levels - both that Dirk is protective of Stuart because he cares about him, but also that Jordan has his own investment in not killing Stuart that he should remember. In terms of emotional appeal, the first is confrontational while the second is the deep appeal to the ghost.

Filed in the deep deep deep deep deep flips of the crypt scenes, this moment demonstrates about 3 different kinds of flips, while still holding true to possessing thing out of its right mind confronting loved one

-

Omg the hospital security guards watching the Hatchetman chase a damsel through the hospital while New Dean is chased through THEIR hospital. Talk about dramatic irony and a whole commentary on the metaness of Dabb era in the story reversals and extractions to new levels and repurposing of scenes and narratives...

-

And despite it playing out scene by scene, the guards are laughing at the bad dialogue and pointing out how Hatchetman is so slow, so how can he even catch them, while the damsel slows herself down and badly fakes a trip so that he can catch up to her...

-

"We killed you! You're dead!" "We all do bad things sometimes"

And there we get the context for the cool quote the Hatchetman model can recite - just as how in fandom often things are quoted out of context as lines which seem emotional or special but are actually awful. Just for starters, all the Sam n Dean fans using "there aint no me if there aint no you" when Dean didn't even SAY that. Now we see the context of this line, we see that while Hatchetman really isn't deep, he's at least not just saying it to sound cool and talk about himself, he's judging the protagonist for her behaviour, as well as invoking relative morality. Which brings up some interesting ideas about what Hatchetman considers good and evil, in regards to seeming to have a concept of it but not including kill himself as a good thing to do. Obviously completely wild in context but in the philosophical language of the show, the nature of monsters and all is one huge question, along with if Sam and Dean are murderers themselves, and of course how they have done bad things for good reasons and vice versa.

-

Also I think Sam is about to blow up the door?

-

"I had a messed up childhood" he says, about to blow up a vintage SCOOBY DOO lunchbox to freedom.

SAMMY. Stop destroying symbols of childhood.

At least he's talking freely to New Sam about himself, which is probably already more than he ever let on to Jess. He really wanted to pretend to be well-adjusted to her, that he probably, like, would have rather waited for a locksmith with her than just pick the door to their apartment if they were locked out, you know?

-

RIP Scooby Doo.

-

"Cool" they both say, and share a smile.

It's probably weird to ship Sam and Sam just because the shipname is Sam

-

Dirk went to hide in the fucking Morgue

well done

-

Okay I need the security guards back to comment on how the fuck Hatchetman knew New Dean would come to the morgue with enough time to beat him there AND cover himself in a sheet and play dead.

-

Also before that happened Dean grabbed New Dean by the correct shoulder, and made him jump but aw don't worry it's just your new best friend.

-

Ghost Jordan is still a fucking nerd even in death because rather than talk to them, he presses the button to summon a catchphrase

It's good to know some things never change even when you are a murderous shell of your former self.

-

UGH SIGH DAVY ARE YOU REALLY GOING TO DO THIS TO ME?

(The director might also be to blame)

So now they are cobbling together a fake trailer for Hatchetman, using footage from the show

That is to say, Hatchetman is set on Oct. 31st, 1983, or, of course, 2 days before Azazel ruined everything.

I'm not sure if this shot is from the show because we have so few Halloween episodes that an exterior shot with Halloween elements would have to be faked up, but the house looks very much like the old Winchester house, but with a bigger porch and more dramatic features. It does, however, strongly feature the tree branch shadows over the appropriate wall to make it look exactly like the opening shot of their story, while this is the opening shot of the Hatchetman story.

"David Jaeger was an honest man making an honest living" *generic shot of something being worked on*

*shot of the back of John Winchester's head walking into his garage in 5x13 to discover his boss out cold because Anna is about to attempt to murder him, said boss hilariously visible in the shot if you know he's there*

So. That happened :P Hatchetman is John. That ain't subtle if you recognise the back of his head in a split second. Even if you don't they're casting him as a car mechanic which is of course directly connected to Dean and John.

"Until one night when a practical joke turned deadly"

*footage of the wife spectre-rage killing her husband in the cold open of 8x06 because she was still pissed he slept with someone else on prom night*

I think the burning vehicle was the car from 10x13 that Sam and Dean burned early in the episode, where it was violently reminiscent of them burning the memory of John for some meta reason I can't remember at the time, but definitely inspired a lot of frantic fandom typing.

Of course the ghost in that episode was the classic ragey vengeance ghost which was blatantly paralleled to the path Dean was on with the Mark of Cain, complete with being crypt scened out of it by a trenchcoat-wearing widow.

They're implying he was then burned alive and left for dead and I don't recognise the footage of the burned feet but I assume they're from some episode or another.

Anyway then they go to more new footage from the "actual" hatchetman movies. This one is set on Nov. 1st so it's not even a "Halloween" movie but ACTUALLY All Saint's Day (All Hallow's Eve being what Hallowe'en is a corruption of), Nov. 1 being of course a meta nod to the fact the episode is not even airing on Halloween but Davy just really really really really wanted his halloween episode so shut up and enjoy it :P

Oh, it's All Saints Day III The Reckoning. Because of course it's a reckoning. That's all that happens in Dabb era, reckonings.

-

I am so upset.... I made a joke about 5x05 waaay back, and now it's true because of the whole random thing about Dean's random Axe that was John's that Paris Hilton was going to use to Reckoning him but then Sam murderered her before she could. Now Dean's being reckoned.

-

Okay Dean is a lil dark right now but his come at me bro of "I was hoping you'd say that" and the preceding speech is incredible. I can't believe this show has Jensen except that I CAN believe that with Jensen we go 14 seasons because FUCK he's scary and intense when he wants to be.

-

But he delivered that chilling speech and then had the ghost use a red button to talk to him and then was badass at it

I mean

he can put the terror into ANY situation

-

I am a hysterical laugher, I could not have stood where Dean stood in that moment and taken Hatchetman seriously, even under threat of mortal peril. I once nearly got expelled for hysterical laughing over an untied shoelace that started a rapidly spiralling incident.

-

I love the new fight guy

I love how Dean is spoiling for a fight, and really enjoying how he can push back against this ghost, in a really, really scary way. But in a cold way, not the red hot Mark of Cain way he was dark last time. He's grinning and enjoying this nerdy ass fight, but it's got a vicious streak.

-

I especially love the choreography of Dean smashing Hatchetman around the head with clashes in time to the music followed by an elevator ding as Sam and New Sam emerge in the next scene.

Poetic cinema

-

New Sam guesses the key thing for ghost attachment and Old Sam is impressed.

Careful buddy, they're lining you up for replacement.

-

Dean seems not to have won this fight with the Hatchetman. I bet if Stuart was awake he'd have some useful advice for how anyone could beat him in a fight but especially Stuart, if they knew the correct thing to do.

-

New Dean saved Old Dean! Maybe we can teamwork distract the Hatchetman and win together. Possibly this is a metaphor for... working with yourself...

Is it foreshadowing for a fight later in the season of plot significance, just like in 11x07 Sam got beat up by a clown in a cage, as a not too subtle metaphor for Lucifer? I'd love an in Dean's head kinda nonsense with Mikey.

-

"Dean, key chain!"

TEAMWORK BROS ARE THE BEST BROS

-

New Sam chips in for her part with fuel for the fire.

Everyone high five the Sam or Dean/Dirk to your left

-

Oh, COOL effect of a ghostly spirit burning out of a model Hatchetman, who is unscatched by the ordeal

-

I mean, good, he's probably a really expensive collectible

-

He falls over with a thud, and goes out on a warbling "time to slice and diiiiiiiii" much like "I clobber evil" died on the fire with a last gutteral noise.

Hopefully bookending each other in terms of models with representations in their voices that haunt Dean and all.

-

Dean, unprompted, thanks Sam for getting him out of his funk and giving him an easy ghost hunt to win. I guess what 13x05 was supposed to be is what this actually turned out to be.

(Honestly, giving Davy episodes post-drama to let us all unwind is turning out to be an extremely good idea with 13x06 as well)

-

I am MAJORLY concerned about the time stamp on this episode. It better end in a few seconds and go to a full 3 minute trailer for Hell Hazers III or else.

-

"It was awesome!" "it wasn't really," says Sam, who burst into the room in time to see his brother pinned and choking

-

Sam moves on to confronting Dean with the concept of not just hiding in his room when they get back.

He gives Dean the "OI, CHEER UP" talk we've all been yelling at the screen. Good. Good Sammy.

Dean turns to the camera. "I'm never going to get over it. I'm just not."

Look, Sam, just because Dean stabbed Lucifer for you, and now you are sleeping without fear, doesn't mean everyone has that luxury :P

-"

elizabethrobertajones Oh dear, there's still 4 minutes left er I guess I keep watching .... *grimaces nervously*

mittensmorgul :D just watch it in context with the rest of the episode

elizabethrobertajones um what I didn't get far enough into what happens next to know what you mean so that's super ominous Sam is still psychoanalysing Dean in car NOW yo uhave me REALLY worried.

Hey, remember how I started this episode with a vague warning from Mittens? Why am I now getting the feeling that I still haven't watched whatever that was about?

-

"I'm not doing any good cooped up in my room. So whatever you need, I'm there." ("Chief"?)

-

"Alright, Chief?"

Oh, man. I'm turning into Dean.

-

Also Dean appears to have, finally, ceded power over to Sam. Again, the reversals of season 10 - Sam was put in this position of power he just was not ready to cope with and not with the stakes that were laid against him. But here, Dean might be driving the car but he's putting all the real power into Sam's hands.

-

elizabethrobertajones Is it why Sam hates Halloween because Dean turns out to have set an alarm on his watch to remind him to bug Sam about it again the intrigue you have spun is starting to get to me more than actually watching the episode :P

mittensmorgul oh gosh, I should've just kept my mouth shut. It was seriously just an innocent comment for a nice BM scene :P

-

I am more horrified about the concept of Sam telling an embarrassing story than I am about any amount of slasher and gore. Look, I can Not handle social squickiness and I love Sam and that is going to make this extremely hard to hear.

Dean's gonna love it though, I can tell.

-

Please. Protect. Sammy.

-

"It was soooo bad" he says with a haunted look of a man who has been tortured by the devil

-

Andrea's party got there first

-

"Next year, we're doing halloween right"

Oh no, don't you dare start talking like you're going to be alive and ready for a party next year, Dean Winchester. I will perish in your place to make it happen.

-

BAHAHA Dean coming up with matching outfits and suggests Bert and Ernie, before rejecting that one as too weird.

Yeah, you might not remember but we do

We are never going to let you live it down, in fact.

-

Also, listen, his mouth runs miles ahead of his brain, that was not suggestive until he realised it was and backtracked

-

You also can't go as Shaggy and Scooby unless you go to a party WITH them and they go as you and Sam

-

Thelma and Louise... Dean, stop.

Okay it's hilarious that Davy managed to get both Bert and Ernie and Thelma and Louise into this like... somewhere riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight deep down Dean's consciousness is putting things together. It doesn't remember half the shit he says, but like. Hey. Why ARE those two sets of on screen pairs connected, huh, Dean?

-

Oh, whatever, he's just trying to annoy Sam now

-

Nyoooom

-

IT'S THE SECURITY GUARD

RUN, MAN, RUN

-

Ew, I left it playing to type that and it told me to watch Legacies

-

Well that was the one wrong note in this whole episode so I suppose something had to happen like that :P

[ofstarsandvibranium]

To All the Boys Who Broke My Heart & To the One Who Mended It: Bodhi

Fandom: Star Wars (Modern AU)

Pairing: Kylo Ren x Reader (main), Poe Dameron x Reader, Armitage Hux x Reader, Finn x Reader, Cassian Andor x Reader, Bodhi Rook x Reader

Summary: You have bad luck with love. Every time you think you found the one, they end up trampling on your heart. You’re thankful that your best friend, Kylo, is there through every heart break. (Best Friends to Lovers Trope)

Poe | Hux | Finn |  Cassian | Bodhi | Kylo | Epilogue

A/N: not gonna lie...I forgot about this series. lol.

He had to be it. He just had to be. All of those boys, men, all of the heartbreak surely had lead you all up to this, to him, to Bodhi.

Bodhi Rook was your local mailman. He was well-liked by everyone in your neighborhood. He was kind, sweet, and a total gentleman. 

One hot summer’s day, you were on your porch, enjoying the afternoon. You heard the familiar rumbling of Bodhi’s mail truck. You immediately sat up and watched as he walked towards you, “Good afternoon, Y/N.”

You smiled, “Hey, Bodhi!” you reached over to the cooler and pulled out an ice cool water bottle, “Here,” you handed it to him as he handed you your mail, “Looks like you need it.”

“You’re a saint, you know that?” he immediately uncapped the bottle and chugged about half of it. Droplets of water cascaded from his mouth and down his chin. Wow...that’s really hot.

He let out a sigh of satisfaction, capping the bottle closed, “Thanks for that, Y/N, I really needed it.” He waved at you and began to walk back towards his truck, but you stopped him.

“Wait!” He turned and looked at you expectedly, “Do you wanna have dinner sometime?” Hell yeah, Y/N. Gotta shoot your shot.

He smiled at you, “That sounds great. Eat out or in?”

“In! We can make pizza?”

“Pizza sounds great.”

“Great! Sooo how about this Friday at 7?”

“Sounds like a date,” he waves at you, “I’ll see you soon, Y/N!” he rushes into his truck and hurries onto the next house. 

You squeal and jump in place, then run inside to Kylo. He’s sitting on the couch playing video games and he’s wincing as you begin to repeatedly hit his arms, “Ow! What?! I’m playing a game!”

“I asked out Bodhi!”

Kylo paused the game to look at you, “Who?”

You rolled your eyes, setting your hands on your hips, “Bodhi! Our mailman?”

He snorted, “You asked out our mailman? Why?”

“He’s nice and sweet and not to mention sooo hot. Anyway, you need to not be here on Friday. He’s coming over and we’re gonna make pizza.”

“Aaaaww! But I wanna make pizza too!”

“Tough nuggets. Go to Phasma’s and make pizza with her.”

Kylo scrunched his face up in dislikeness, “No! She’s mean to me!”

_________________________________

The date went off with a hitch. You and Bodhi were playful and flirtatious the entire night, which was definitely a good sign to you. At the end of the night, he left, leaving a sweet and gentle kiss on your lips. 

After several dates with him, you just had a good feeling. This had to be him. Bodhi had to be the one for you. He was everything you could want in a guy: funny, handsome, caring, a good cook. What more could you ask for?

The several months you dated turned into five years of dating. You and he now lived together and you were the happiest you’ve ever been. 

_________________________________

Kylo never truly knew what miserable was until you left him to move in with Bodhi. He helped you pack, of course, but it hurt him inside. Seeing you with someone else again and again always hurt, but things always ended up falling apart for you and whoever you were with. Kylo loved you, and yeah, it was pretty selfish of him to be happy that things didn’t end well, but what could he say? He was selfish when it came to you.

He thought Bodhi was going to be like the rest. He waited and waited for your call or for you to show up crying about another heartbreak. But that never came. 

Your time spent with each other was minimal. Very rarely would you two hang out just you and him. Bodhi came along often, which Kylo was annoyed with. You two were together, living together, spending almost every single waking moment together! Why couldn’t he just let you have time with him apart?!

Nonetheless, he cherished the rare occasions you saw each other. Because despite everything, he still loved you with his entire being.

__________________________________

“W-What?” your voice cracked in disbelief.

“We need to break up.” Bodhi said again.

“I-I don’t-but we-why?”

Bodhi held onto your hand as he looked into your eyes, you could see the conflict in him, “I’m just not ready to settle down just yet. I realize that there’s still a lot I want to do before I get married and have kids. I want to see the world, get my piloting license-”

“Can’t you do all that while we’re still together?” you tried reasoning with him. You really did.

He shook his head, “I’m sorry, Y/N. I want to do so many things and-”

“-You don’t want me to get in the way,” you finished his sentence, malice lacing your words.

Bodhi shook his head, “No, that’s not-”

“Isn’t it though?! Why else would you not want to be with me and do all that stuff?! You don’t want to be held back!” you yanked your hand out of his, “If that’s what you want, fine!” you stood up and grabbed your purse and keys.

Bodhi followed you, “Where are you going?!”

“Out of your way!” you yelled as you stepped out the door, slamming it behind you and towards your car.

__________________________________

Kylo stirred from his sleep to the ringing of his phone. He groaned as he blindly pat the bedside table for it. Picking it up when he felt it and answering the call, “Hello?” he tiredly said. Sniffles filled his ears and he immediately looked at his phone, “Y/N? What’s wrong?”

“C-Can I c-come over?”

Kylo’s shoulders immediately dropped, “Don’t tell me-”

“Yeah...unlucky number five.”

He sighed, “I’m sorry, Y/N. But yeah. Come by.”

“Th-Thanks.” with that, you hung up.

Kylo sat up in bed, running a hand over his face. He had to tell you now. Nothing was preventing him from doing so. Nothing and no one could get in the way.

series taglist: @foxface9000 @cucumberinmyass @wolves-rider @noe-stechin-gando @marvel-classic-rock @swedish-strong-style@courtneyscornerofdisfunction

[boobachu]

The T.C. rambles while watching a force awakes

Re-watching star wars 7 to see if out of the 3D headache IMAX theatre, if it’s any better.

I still hate parody Han Solo guy, like he reminds me of post-Black Knight Sonic the Hedgehog. Just really unfunny and trying way too hard to be hip and internet savvy or something.

I don’t think anything will change my opinion that he shoulda been a bit character.

I’ve decided to commentate the whole fucking movie so read on if you dare.

Rey’s making space bread. It’s very gross.

I doubt anything will change my opinion that she’s the best star wars character.

Oh God BB-8

HBomberguy ruined BB-8 for me. Whenever I see him all I hear is

L I T T L E   W H I T E   C U C K - B A L L L L L L

I guess Rey doesn’t like him either, I forgot this part.

I wish they got rid of the Dorito Destroyer.

Oh boy Darth Helmet is interrogating Lone Star.

Kylo Ren has the stupidest helmet.

There’s subtitles on this so I learned the guy’s name is Poe

RRRAAAAAAAAAAAA

Like Kylo Ren is really badass in the first half I remember this, like he stops a God damn laser blast.

Would you sell BB-8 for 60 meals?

Oh hey

Ugh what’s his name... the storm trooper’s gonna take Poe outta here.

You need a pilot. LOL

I guess Poe is alright, just his first impression was very dumb.

Oh snap it’s hooked down. What kinda name is Hux that’s stupid.

Ha hah shootin’ em down just like Annie in ep 1.

Get fucked command center.

Why do they still have Twin Ion Engine fighters?

I guess we still drive cars so eh...

Ah his name is Finn now, I guess he is a clone? or something?

Maybe they have multiple types of clones. I wonder if they still use Jango Fett...

Fucking proton torpedos!!!

Ah yeah I forgot Finn just wants to GTFO

Trailer shot. Nice.

Oh wait I can turn off subtitles. Good that was disorienting me.

And Poe dies... a great fake-out you thought parody han solo was a protag, but no this is the story of Finn, the storm trooper defecting from nazi hell-space to find his own life on Jakku or wherever.

He keeps Poe’s jacket for cover, very poetic. HAH

POE-ETIC God why did I hate this movie again?

If there’s a Kylo Ren, where is Kylo Stimpy?

Oh God Finn no don’t ugh drank the slop water ugh no why ugh

Finn goes to save Rey cuz white knight trope. Rey can handle herself like a ‘90s chick. Hey she’s a pit chick she’s got a staff.

RUN FINN RUN

Rey fuck taser what

Finn’s having a lousy life.

Poor basketball’s friend died. I feel like the story is rushing.

Like I expected more of a build-up not “SPIT OUT THE EXPOSITION FUCKIN”

Ah, storm troopers...

Rey doesn’t want your cooties, Finn.

Fucking TIE fighters fuck

Is Finn dead? No he just nappin’

Everything exploding!

THE GARBAGE’LL DO

God damn Millenium cheeseburger.

I can do this I can do this

HOW DO YOU FLY A CHEESEBURGER

Fucking karma’s a cheeseburger, that’s what you get for callin’ the SS you loser

The action scenes are choice

Ah Dorito ruins.

Oh I remember this part just

TIE DOWN

oh no Finn down

here it comes

G E T  R E A D Y

fucking engine exhaust TIOGHT

HARD RIGHT

WOOOOOO

Takin’ the shot yeah

Space

CHUCK A  SHIT

ohp

Kylo is Mado

NERD RAGE

AAAAAAAAAA

Kylo is such a 12 year old in 2003.

GIRL?! THERE WAS A WOM?!?!?!?!? XDDD fucking loser

pweese BB-8 help I dunno what I do

fucking lighter thumbs up

Damn Finn what a nerd. “Got a boyfriends? a boyfriend?”

oh no they got garbage dayed

come on Rey gas them gas them all

oh great it’s Han Solo and Chewie

oh wait he used to be Han Solo

What is he now Han Oriana? Whatever Leia’s last name was I never could spell it.

Damn buncha everything happens

Oh great it’s big eyed billy joe armstrong and his O-nauts

WE WUNT OR MUNEY BAEK NAU

oh boy more losers.

It’s all over for Solo.

Ah shit just unleashed things.

There goes the neighborhood just fucking angry meatballs of death AND HE FEEDS THAT DUDE TO IT

oh shit it quiet

Rey is allalone...

Fucking Finn I turn my head a sexond and the meatball caught him.

Get to da cheeseborger

“I never ask that question until after I’ve done it”

Just lightspeed dashed I swear he looks like british billie joe armstrong.

Damn giant fish thing on planet deadly pokeball.

Who is supreme leader he is stupid ugly stupid.

Oh his dad’s Han Solo wow way to blow it spoiler alert fucking why didn’t they save that for the end who wrote this crap oh he was a hologram.

Damn babuy chewie

Ah the new hope plot.

I dunno they twist it enough to make it feel fresh so eh.

Ah a planet of islands... the scenery reminds me of ep 2

“Did you just call me ‘Solo’?”

Women always figure out the truth, always.

There needs to be a han solo inspirational poster that says that.

A job? The fabled... job? You offer job?

Rey has a home? I thought she was just a wayfarer.

Don’t stare “At what?” any of it XDDDDD

Yeah this story feels like it’s going too fast like what’s going on.

HAAAN S O L O

Wait she’s hot for Chewbakka?

Man this band sucks.

Oh great fucking droid nark NARK

Weird lady narks NARKS EVERYTHWIER

Oh boy Darth Helmet is brooding.

Fucking Darth Vader. Kylo Ren is such a fanfiction.

Like, the idea of a warrior of light choosing darkness is something you seldom see done, but... eh... I guess? IRL kids no like most nazis are privilidged and a decade ago would be seen as nerds.

what’s this

what are you doing

The eyes of a man who wants to run

Finn need go bye-bye

Oh wait storm troopers are stolen, not bred. That’s worse like

Finn is really shiny there who does his makeup?

Rey sure didn’t care he was a storm trooper LOL

The screams... they becon me...

Finally a fresh feeling scene.

WHAT’S IN DA BOX

fucking lightsaber

T R I G G E R E D

Is she clairvoyant? I dond’t remember this part.

Is this special edition?

FUTURE

I like specs. She cool.

FUCK D A FORCE

Oh boy nazis

Fucking screamy bitch XDDD

FIST UP why are the nazis doing the fist up this is upsetting.

PEW

How does the laser split up into shit and what is this planet?

Like this is supposed to be dramatic but... you literally don’t know any of those people or any of those planets. This should have been episode 8 or 9 after establishing those planets.

 W H A T    A    W A S T E

oH BOY  Finn got da lightsabah

BEASTS

There goes that dump, way to go Rey it’s your fault I guess BLANKS

Way to kill that soldier

MURDER SPREE

Oh boy Kylo Ren, what a hoot that guy.

wait is this the part?

Han Solo so has the force like if his force3 ghost isn’t in the movie

YOU HAAAVE ONE

Han Solo what a goof

TRAITOR

M E L E E   B A T T L E

Fucking just like in Empire except it’s not Yoda hallucination probably.

Caughted

THE RESISTIES

The x-wing is still the coolest thing like Sonic knew that.

Damn Finn calm down it’s just a pilot.

Rey is in weird jungle o no

She just got godlike and Ren is gonna break that killstreak

MELEE OP

Fucking using cheater force

Kylo you sound like such a dork

That cross saber is still stupid where’s the minorah saber

Nooo Rey!!!

C’mon Finn melee them

fucking lightsaber the whole first order you can do it

just

throw it at the ship

just

throw

and the bad guys win

C-3P0 you mother fucker

Changed your hair

Same Jacket

I can’t believe Carrie Fisher is dead.

The resisties are kinda boring looking.

Oh look it’s Poe, he’s alive somehow.

Maybe the second time I’ll get the good explanation.

Oh no, there’s no good explanation he just wasn’t there.

L A A A A A A A A A A M M M E.

Okay we’re past a new hope kinda in empire strikes back territory and the ending is the last jedi. Like I totally get people being upset that this is basically the original trilogy in a nutshell.

Damn dead R2-D2

Wait C-3P0 has a red arm why

I wonder how many parents relate to Han and Leia because their son turned into a nazi.

Fucking Snoke. What kinda name is that. Solid Snoke.

Was Kylo Ren just staring at Rey’s unconscious body for the past hour?

I’m sorry he’s just not intimidating he looks like a cheap halloween darth vader

Then the dramatic reveal like remember when Darth Vader was so disfigured from burning alive?

Kylo’s just ugly. Like that’s it that’s the reveal. Kylo is ugly.

Rey/Kylo is like whenever a 4chan boy tries to hit on a hot youtube girl like your face just melds into the chair to escape his grasp like a cat that doesn’t want to be pet.

I dunno this scene is just so stupid cuz they both look dorky like this is happening at otakon

You. You’re afraid... that you will never be as strong as Darth Vader

BITCH GOT TOOOLLLLLLD

Kylo has a huge nose. Like he’s Lois Griffin triangle sandwitch nose

I like how Rey tries to Luke Skywalker the storm trooper and he’s like “Serious?”

LOL fucking just left

T A N T R U M   T I M E

and the storm troopers just turn around LOL

Okay I love this weapon like, it’s a combination of the star crusher and a vaccum cleaner from Luigi’s mansion. It destroys the star, but in the way that it uses it to destroy things.

“So it’s big”

Disable the shields... there better be Ewoks on that planet.

Seriously, what does Poe add to the story after the escape?

Damn leila and han... dum

Hey a woman stormtrooper, like just a white gal. I didn’t notice that.

Damn lightspeed their way in.

Hooooh what a landing.

...Han Solo...

That‘s not how the force works!!!

LOL

Finn just wants Rey. I can see why people would think he’s horny for her since that boyfriend line, but that was the last horny thing he said.

Fucking mad with Power, calm down Finn then again we all wanna tell off our boss.

Rey is gonna escappeeeee damn hang on the side of the wall is that a switch what

Rey just climbing that wall like a monkey.

S H I E L D S   D O W N

Fucking Han... is there a trash compactor? You dirty bastard

And here comes the interesting part of Jedi Returns SHOOTY TIME

A T T A C K   T H E   S C P H I N C T E R (that’s how you spell it right)

Oh I love the sun thing like, it’s a great way of showing the timer without a clock.

Oh look it’s Rey, go on and almost get shot to death

H U G

Escape now, hug later.

The cinematography is good I like the dog fights.

LET”S BLOW SHIT UP

I dunno this just really isn’t dramatic at all

Placing bombs, just like in Jedi.

Here comes Kylo

At least he keeps the mask on, like too many movies rely on faces.

oh light’s almost gone.

M A H   B O Y

Ah the stupid part

Wait is his name Finn too?

Like this woulda been way more dramatic if you didn’t know Kylo was Han’s boy.

There’s no music making this awkward and gut-wrenching which you don’t see modern mvoies do.

I’m being torn apart ;w;

What a bitch

Knowing what happens these lines are hilarious

Will you help me

L I G H T S   O U T

red

STAB, STAB, STAB~

AHHHHHH HOOO HOO HOO HOOOIIEEEEE

I dunno like, you’d think Han Solo being stabbed to death with his son would feel more heavy but that was just... nothing.

A S P L O D E

Fucking Kylo TEEF

Night time, being chased by a crazy dork in the woods.

oh here it comes

TRAILER FUEL

YEUR A MUNSTAH

REY DOWN

C’mon Finn

TRAAAIIITOOORRRR

MORTAL KOMBAAAAAAAT

Fucking melee battle

Just fueled by the rage of his fallen friend, the desparation of the sun dissolving he fights for his life against a wounded lunatic.

Okay so maybe that cross saber has a use.

FINN DOWN

grabby time

oh no

REY GRABBED THE SABER

ROUND TWO, DARTH LOSER

This is unbearably xcool

Time to shoot the hole... like in new hope.

This ending is just all three original endinds with new stuff

30 seconds

SNEAKED IN SHOOT EM UP WOOOOOOOO

JUST LIKE ANNIE IN EP 1

only cooler

KA BLOOOOIIEEEE

fuckin’ A

this battle is just like in empire strikes back

fucking planet’s falling apart so it’s better

A tempting offer

Who wants kylo ren to be a teacher like he’d be like a nun

W 0 0 T

it’s the comeback

don’t give the hero a dramatic pause to focus

B E A T   D O W N

the struggle is real

K-O

Take that loser

there seems to be something between us, Ren

Welp the planet is collapsing woo

Finn don’t you die, Poe is a loser you’re cool Finn

Ah it’s Chewie in the Churger

oh yeah han died like I thought it was han but no he died XDDDDD

GTFO

Here comes the sun doot de doo doot~

Epic

Now for the final scene of congrats.

“Sorry General, your boyfriend was stabbed by his son and then the planet exploded”

H U G

Poor Chewie.

Fucking Artoo what are you doing here.

Like, this shoulda been episode 8 here, it feels like it shoulda ended with han’s funeral and the map was the start of the next movie aunno.

And Finn’s tale of a freedom slave blowing up the nazi death planet comes to a close.

Wait is she leaving?

I thought there was a funeral.

Nothing?

Not even an F?

Yeah then se see’s Luke’s hairy ass and it ends so awkwardly like this movie felt like two movies and THIS SHOULDA BEEN IN THE SEQUEL WHAT

Whoever wrote this is an idiot, whoever directed is even worse.

ANyways my conclusion is that the movie isn’t horrible, but... I dunno it’s about as bad as ep2 tho that movie’s crime was being boring, this one was too much story crammed into a short period and ruined opportunities.

I might watch ep 8 but I just am not invested like

HAN SOLO DYING MEANT NOTHING

Like fucking handing him a lightsaber what kinda ending is that

R O G U E   O N E   W A S   B E T T E R.

The end.

[roxannepolice]

What’s in a name? Kylo Ren as a sentient simulacrum

If my cultural sociologist’s heart soared when Ren turned out to be a heroine of postmodern time, Kylo Ben had my brain from the moment his parentage was revealed. Because this – this here, ladies and gentlemen, is a specimen of its own kind – a sentient simulacrum on a quest to destroy its meaning. And doing a terribly good job, judging by what the viewers think. Because he represents another tempting demon of postmodernity – a belief that everything is a matter of agreement and thus, of will and all one has to do is have a will strong enough to subjugate all of reality to its knees. This is nietzschean ubermensch in all his glory of overestimating the power of will and consciousness, things we have become obsessed with believing in. Kylo Ren isn’t a complicated answer to a question what would Anakin’s and Padme’s grandson and Han’s and Leia’s son grow up to be?, he’s a very ready made, willed, chosen answer to a question what would Darth Vader’s grandson be?

Objectively speaking, there’s every stake against Kylo Ben. He killed his father in a story about familial love. He’s in charge of evil empire in a story about fighting evil. He’s hinted at a romance in a story where romances ended in tragedy. But such is a nature of simulation: it laughs in the face of objectivity. It knows every objective symptom and has already found a way to cause it without referring to the core. Hypoerbolically speaking, everything objective can be faked and as such lies within simulation’s power. Simulation is something different from pretending. Pretending can be objectively revealed for what it is. You pretend that you had a good sleep by putting ice cubes and concealer under your eyes, your problems with focus will still be apparent. You simulate a good sleep by drinking enough coffee to seem – and FEEL – awake. And yes, Kylo Ben is totally the type of person who drinks coffee as black as his soul because sleep is for the weak. A simulacrum won’t recognise itself for what it is because it believes itself to be its only meaning. All that matters are the appearances. And it won’t drop the act when it’s not observed, because it’s always acting for itself. If anything, it’s  precisesly other eyes that will see the bs. We’re all amazing actors in our own heads. The problem is to be ones for a different audience.

Take the moment he drops his mask during the bridge scene. You’re right to read it as consciously symbolic gesture. But the act isn’t for Han, at least, not only, it’s for him. He doesn’t need the mask to do what he’s about to do. It’s him, Kylo Ren who has already destroyed Han Solo’s weak and foolish son, about to commit another conscious, willful action. He won’t feel remorse.

He does very much feel remorse. There is no one close enough to him in that moment for him to fake it. This is a rebellion, albeit overdue and still passive, of the self against ego’s will, of meaning against simulacrum.The best metaphor of a difference between a meaning and a simulacrum in Star Wars is basically Ben Solo and Kylo Ren. So, should we feel safe that in a story destroying the simulacra bendemption is sure?

I’m not going to sugar coat it for you – it’s not.

In fact, if you’ve ever heard an antibendemption argument that made terrifyingly much sense, there’s a good chance someone who made it has a degree of knowledge about postmodern thought. Because Kylo Ben has been as much of a ready made redemption material as FO has been ready made villains. He’s literally the grandson of the redemption of this saga. And isn’t the hero worship of Skywalkers the best sign that they’re one of the husks that need to burn for the meaning to reemerge? Truthfully, a strong redemption needs an unredeemed counterpart, a Judas in The Second Testament, to really hit home. Yes, the Skywalkers are what created the basic messages of the saga, now let them go away and continue their essence detached from the husks, preferably leaving a strong warning in the last generation. Anakin’s redemption was the original one, now let it be carried by the likes of Galen, Bodhi and, according to some idiots, Finn, not his own bloodline.

There’s just one problem. Anakin’s not redeemed.

Let that sink in.

  Anakin’s redemption did not take place

I don’t want to generalize, but I make a solid guess that most people on tumblr who identify with protagonists of the sequels are in their 20s to 30s., so Anakin’s redemption was a cultural given in our lives. Yeah, he’s done some bad things but in the end he loved Luke and died for him, and anyway, he’s shown as a force ghost in the end (anyone still remembering the old Anakin on Endor?), so he’s fine. What a heartwarming story of redemptive power of love! One that we’ve been rewatching whenever world seemed completely wrong, perhaps the story that helped us forgive people who’ve hurt us, one that has given us so much hope...

did not happen.

Arite, let’s have a look at what exactly was Darth Vader forgiven for, back in 1985:

walking into a room full of already dead people

choking one good guy

apparently he killed some jedi including Luke’s dad who knows how long time ago (I mean, to a 5 year old me Luke could have been anywhere from 15 to 35 years old)

being locked up with Leia and some syringed ball? they called it a mind probe later?

passively watching destruction of Alderaan which was aaaaaawesome one moment the planet was there and then pew pew it was gone

uuh... swinging his lightsaber at disappearing Obi-Wan?

piloting one of the TIEs during a military situation

choking some imperial officers, who cares

organising the worst “meet the in-laws” dinner in history

ordering Han to be frozen in carbonite

cutting off Luke’s arm, he gets a new one some 15 minutes later

he’s actually Luke’s dad?!?????

he does nothing in RotJ. nothing. oh, ok, he says “sister” in a creepy manner, it’s your daughter you’re talking about, you creep

So yeah. This is what he had to be narratively forgiven when he saved Luke and got his ass killed in the process. Additionally, the man who appears as a force ghost is around the same age as Obi-Wan, so 60? maybe even 70? Clearly, if he became Luke’s dad around the time he became Darth Vader, he couldn’t have been serving the empire for more than one third of his life and kicked ass with the good guys for the remaining two thirds. I’m so glad he found the absolution he clearly deserved.

And then prequels happened. And we got Anakin killing a whole village of sand people (off screen), slaughtering some 20 children (off screen), expressing desire to make the Empire his own and choking his pregnant wife because he had a bad dream. And this is only his record on the day he turns to the dark side. He’s in his twenties at a time, which means that he has spent half of his life as Darth Vader. 

Uhmmmm... no one said anything about killing children back in the 80s, right? But still, we can go with this. Because Anakin’s fall was tailored for his redemption – induced by possessive love for his wife, undone by selfless love for his son, manipulated just enough to be forgiven, terrible just enough for the payment to be his life. And anyway, there’s the whole prophecy thing. Thus originals and prequels form a complete story of Anakin’s fall and redemption. Apparently.

Because then sequels happen! Yahoo! And there was Vader 2.0, wow he can actually freeze blaster bolts in the air, impressive, anyway, can’t wait for the next generation of Skywalkers to appear. UUh, but there’s something wrong. Village isn’t slaughtered off screen, we watch the fire and hear the screams... Oh and then there’s the mind probe scene and mind probe is apparently a painful psychological violation, giving people connotations with rape... Vader 2.0 is this trilogy’s Skywalker?!!!!! Oh, and the destruction of Hosian system is nothing cool, there are terrified people on Couruscant... whaaaaaaaaa, he killed Han Solo, WHYYYYY?!!!!!!!! Oh anyway, maybe he’s adopted, Rey is the one worthy of being saint Anakin’s grandchild.

I think you get the drift. Violence is presented much more realistically in the sequels than either originals or prequels and consequently viewers are willing to see Kylo Ben as more evil than Darth Anakin – even though, appealing to the reason, Anakin has been serving the Empire for two decades which for Kylo to equal he would have to have joined FO when he was 10. But that’s it – we must not underestimate the power of visual representation. Describing something, insinuating it off screen simply doesn’t have the same impact as playing it out before our eyes. Still, after TFA it’s still simple to just say Kylo Ben IS more irredeemable than Darth Anakin.

But then Rouge One happens and Darth Vader shows himself as a goddamn killing machine he has always been, cutting and choking rebels like they’re butter. More, he chokes Krennic into subjugation, which has a completely different vibe to it than his anger/force insult it’s his dad you’re talking about! induced chokes in originals – this here is deliberate abuse of power.  And of course, there are all the remaining extended materials showing Vader as an actually evil character – not one we’re told is evil, only actually doing evil things.

So ask yourselves this – if Anakin’s story unfolded itself chronologically and with sequels’ uncensored depiction of war, if we have actually seen the Tuskans burn and scream in agony, if clone wars weren’t softened by villains being droids, watched all the padawans die at Anakin’s hand, then were granted 20 years of abuse of power, watched Leia get “mind raped” by man we knew to be her father, seen terror of Alderaanians, had prequels’ Obi-Wan for our childhood’s hero, force choking wasn’t framed as a pythonic comic relief, knew Vader cut off his son’s arm knowing the pain it gives and discovered that he’s still as power hungry as twenty years earlier – would Anakin’s redemption feel earned at the end? Would it feel real? Would it have that cathartic hopeful power which became franchise’s legacy? Because what, he didn’t let his kid get fried in front of him? He, who burned the world because he dreamt of his wife’s death? Or because he died early enough to not overtake the Empire?

Anakin’s redemption did not take place. Franchise’s message has been a lie all along – or a hypocrisy because why would Anakin and his mighty Skywalker blood grandson get redeemed but Dooku or Maul not? Clearly, Vader has done more evil than these two combined and Kylo Ren is now Palpatine 3.0 showing he was after power all along. Anakin’s force ghost? An illusion for children.

But it’s ok. Lies can give lasting fruits. Growing up is accepting they’re lies and going on with your life.

[rpjohnston]

RWBY spoilers!

Well, I’m not going to do a proper liveblog with pics and all since it’s 6 volumes in and Volume 5 didn’t impress me, but if Volume 6 turns out to be really good maybe I’ll snazz it up a bit. Anyway, thoughts on Episode 1 of Volume 6 here. - Wow, starting off with some quality modeling here. It’s come a long way from its low-poly beginnings hasn’t it? Though the low-poly had its charm in the way that pixel games do, I can appreciate the effort that went into making this look GOOD. I can FEEL that grove of trees, you know? -Opening fight isn’t bad. Still not as frenetic and hard to follow as the first/second volume were, but also not as laborious as the last couple, for a mook fight. Had a pretty good balance of movement whipping by and still being able to see what was actually happening. Camera work improved, too. -Adam is still a manbaby, yep. I haven’t seen any of the new Star Wars but I’m under the impression that Kylo Ren is basically this. -Welp Team RWBY is DEFINITELY leaving Weiss’s side, for more than a second. I promise. See, Oz would’ve had the wisdom not to jinx it, Ruby. Better stop talking before you get us Volume 3, 2: electric boogaloo. With an electric-themed enemy, for irony’s sake. -I do appreciate though that they seem to be moving around a lot more like they used too. Everyone moved about as fast in Volume 5 as I do and I’m 30 years old. -Ahahah, yes, we have Tweedle De and Tweedle...Dudley. This should be good. -Nope, just regular dudebros. At least for now. Heheh, had to rewatch a few times to catch of of Ruby’s and Yang’s faces that was great. Whoever is the first to make looping gifs of each is a hero! =D -Ilia and Blake was touching, and then...Look, I mean, Sun’s personality just grates on me, ok? He’s a good guy, I know that. I just can’t stand him. Also, Neptune...I don’t think so, nah. -Emotive. Ears. Wanna. Fluff. -Must. Fluff. -Fluuuuuuuuufffff -Well as long as the gunchucks come out again I’ll put up with him whenever he comes back -Not sure about Neptune’s problem. Pissed about the swing and the miss and strike out at the soccer game? Or maybe it’s just, you know, Sun. -Ok who is Techno Granny Katara, I must know. This is important. -RIP tequila sunrise. Best character, snatched away as soon as we met. ;_;7 -Ok let’s not kill Dee off QUITE yet, he still has time to be the Woobie -Yeah yeah, crying babies, how sad. I’m reminded of that stupid Naruto filler arc that had a bunch of children crying EVERY GODDAMN EPISODE. Not even kidding. something like 7 episodes. And sometime more than once per episode, 2. It was the Sonic 2006 of Naruto arcs. Anyway, crying baby tropes are annoying and lazy -Ok Ruby, technically you’re right, but you’re saying that in a “it doesn’t matter at all, I trust Oz implicitly” tone of voice, and while I too am sure that he’s a good guy and has his reasons, you had this whole THING where you told him to stop bullshitting and you of all people should be holding his feet to the fire. -Techno Granny Katara you are up to something and I demand to know what your deal is -Oof. Flashbacks. Well trauma doesn’t heal quickly. -DAMN Yang, takin’ the bull by the horns. That. Was. SWEET. -So I’m gonna call these manticores, lead by a chimera. -Got some instances of people standing around firing guns when they aren’t the focus of the action. Eh. -ohhhh, owwwww, that was some JANKY ass animation of the train falling off. That was pretty glaring actually. Ow. -Ok Techno Granny Katara is joining us, cool cool. Good job surviving that while being cushioned by 6 inches of cold hard steel, by the way. Those soft, delicate children got the snow. -Oh, Techno Granny Katara is in the opening too, sweet. So she’s gonna be Important. -Gonna need to see the lyrics for this cause I can’t make them out. But overall it sounds pretty solid, I’d say I’d rank the openings...3-2-4-6-1-5. Alright well this is starting off much better than Volume 5 did and possibly better than 4, we’ll see. It’s kind of hard to rank it against 1 and 2 since the composition is so vastly different. This will have to fall pretty hard to land badly after that start, though. How about...8/10. Lost a point because of that Thomas the Tank Engine-ass wreck animation. Seriously, knock a few chips off that peaceful glade quality and stick ‘em in there. Oh also, did they really just kill off Tweedle Dee for cheap stakes? Come on. I don’t expect Shakesperian writing and RWBY would honestly be pretty bad if that was the aim, it thrives on playing tropes straight, but there are still some that are just too lazy even for this genre. Looked up the lyrics, they seem more...metaphorical than is typical for RWBY. Going to have to think a bit on what they mean.

[bluerosesburnblue]

Liz Liveblogs Bravely Second: Chapter 4

Seems like I was right. Time for a short one with Chapter 4: He Who Would Change the World. Two liveblogs in one day? Pretty good, considering the extreme gap between past ones

Why on earth did we take Lotus and Sakura with us to dock on the Skyhold? Lotus has a son! Sakura is really just our kindly bath mom! They shouldn’t be coming with us to the gate between dimensions!

They’re not coming into Skyhold with us, but the Rubadub’s still attached! If the Skyhold goes down, you two do, too! I don’t want to risk the lives of our boat mom and airship dad!

Skyhold has an actual name, Diamante. And it’s gorgeous. Like a palace of blue diamonds

Kaiser, Anne, and Janne are already aware we’re here. Subtle, this party ain’t

“I really want to see my dead - No... I really want to see my living parents.” Janne, hey, maybe instead of changing the past you could... get therapy? How far back are you guys gonna go to change things? One change effects many things. Is the Kaiser’s change gonna eradicate Janne’s family, thus invalidating Janne’s whole quest? Does anyone know how causality works in this empire?

Kaiser, at the very least, seems willing to save Janne’s parents should Janne be unable to

My guide says there’s a summon this chapter and it ain’t on the Skyhold, so we’re just gonna jump off the side and spit in the face of Gho Gettar’s dreams by snagging Amaterasu. Worst. Timeline. WORST! TIMELINE!

I have no idea how anyone is intended to find this spot in the far northeast of Eternia, and then also figure out that the cutscene only triggers if you slam your face into a very specific cliff

This poor Anchorite really got the short end of the stick. The other guys get to hang out in buildings, but they stuck this guy on a remote island in a freezing blizzard. The order he belongs to must really hate him

Oh I just realized I have Tiz as an Exorcist. This battle against a healer is gonna go GREAT now that I can just... undo those

Oh yeah, Exorcist was the real MVP job of that fight

My party is gonna waltz onto the deck of the Skyhold covered in blood and wielding the goddess of light and no one can stop us

We’ve found Agnès’s cell, but she doesn’t seem to be in it

BUT MAGNOLIA’S POSSESSED. Of all people, why did it have to be the one who can summon?

She’s acting like a bratty five-year-old. Is there a child ghost here? I’ve watched a lot of ghost hunting shows, can I appease you with a toy or something?

“I’ll make you pay for what you did to my daddy!” Well, the only dad Edea’s murdered this game is Geist, so I guess you’re Rev, then

If we killed him, then he should also be a ghost and therefore able to see his ghost child, though, right? Like, just pass on kiddo. Your dad’s waiting

Yeah, Revenant Grace. Fittingly, both father and son are named after types of Ghosts/Undead. Which begs the question of what Geist’s parents were thinking when they named him, and why he felt the need to give his son a name with heavy “return from the dead” connotations

I don’t think the Princess Bride reference was really necessary. “My name is Revenant Grace. You killed my daddy. Prepare to die!” just... doesn’t have the same kick to it

Okay, Rev’s possessed armor is really cool. And apparently, he died and Geist pulled a Fullmetal Alchemist and bound his soul to the armor. So there’s that

Edea’s trying to tell Rev that Geist was going to kill a kid just like him... but Rev’s, like, five, he’s not listening. He’s literally yelling “LA LA LA NO HE DIDN’T”

Geist went away on a trip, and some monster lurked on the boat that came back, where Rev was waiting. It killed him

I’m so glad I read about the trick to this fight, because it’s almost poetic. You set someone to Geist’s Exorcist asterisk. Let Rev posses one of his teammates, which sets his own HP to zero. Then it’s just a matter of attacking that teammate to kick Rev out of possessing them and back into his own body, then Undo HP to the last turn, where Rev’s body had 0 HP, thus killing him instantly using his father’s abilities

Also, we Exorcised a ghost. That’s neat, too

Rev’s monologue says that Geist was happier after he was revived and then he mimicked Geist’s psychotic laughter. I think the poor kid misread the situation. Geist broke when he lost his son, and if his last words were any indication, he regretted bringing Rev back

Edea just passed on those words. Rev’s grateful. He’s not a bad kid, just scared and stuck in a bad situation

Time to pass on and see your daddy, kiddo. He’s waiting

Yew’s entry in the journal states that the last name, Grace, is given to Orthodoxy saints and others who did extraordinary service to them. So Geist was either a holy man, or the descendant of one

And since it seems everyone in the Kaiser’s inner circle wants to “undo” something, I believe that Geist must have joined up to undo either binding Rev’s soul, or Rev’s death entirely

Agnès wasn’t there, so on to the next location

I’m almost baffled by how few named characters have died in this game so far, considering last game killed A LOT of people, to make the “redo” aspect feel fulfilling, and then pull the wind out of your sails when you realize that you didn’t redo anything. They stayed dead. (And then this game undid all those deaths because they were beloved characters who got a lot of development postmortem)

For FUCK’S sake, Janne, get lost! And especially don’t attack me mid-dungeon!

Janne “I Refuse to Die Until Yew Geneolgia, Specifically, Kills Me” Angard, is back for YET ANOTHER round

Oh god he’s Kylo Ren. “I was on this big revenge kick, so I befriended you to kill you! But then I liked you and that made me mad so now I’m going to kill you because I’m a child who can’t figure out my emotions!”

I’m... not that big a fan of Janne. He just comes off as a bratty teenager that they keep trying to make sympathetic, but he never stops being an ass about literally everything

“You were a true friend.” Yew, he really, REALLY was not

Rev works for me, because even though he acts like a brat, he’s acting as a reaction to his father’s death. Once you calm him down, the kid’s perfectly civil, and even thanks the party for passing along his dad’s last words. And that’s some stunning maturity for a kid

Janne, on the other hand, is older and should know better. But instead he lashes out, constantly brags that he’s the best, and even in the last fight he’s being petty. He thinks he can get away with betraying his friends, but as long as he tell them “Hey, good shot” as he’s dying, then he’s absolved. Janne has done a lot of REALLY AWFUL things. He has no intention of atoning because he can’t see past himself and what he wants out of this: his parents back. Rev’s a brat because he doesn’t know better. Janne’s a brat because he’s conceited and wants to delude himself into being superior

I’m gonna rip the Kaiser’s sword right out of his dumb metal hand

Yew is legitimately anticipating death. And blames himself for not stopping the Kaiser when he came to kidnap Agnès. That’s Yew’s undo moment. And I know for a fact we’re gonna make. That. Happen.

Edea’s pep talk about trying again and succeeding now that you’re stronger and wiser is something I think a lot of people need to hear. If you mess up, you shape up and do better

Wait, “Bravely Second” is an in-game term for something other than the hourglass? It’s moon for “the courage to try again.”

So the title of the game is, more accurately “The Courage to Try Again: A World With No Future”

Ooop. Just kinda slid into the Holy Pillar there. Okay

Kaiser’s robo-arm must be pretty tough if he can carry Agnès with it like that

I can’t believe I get to watch Leonardo the Ninja Turtle kick the ass of Leonardo the Ninja Turtle

Dude, stop saying the word “deny.” It’s gotten to be at least once a scene, we know. You deny, you deny, you deny, maybe accept that I’m gonna kick your ass?

Where the hell do you get the idea that only those who know sin can change the world, so you became a literal evil emperor to become a big enough asshole to fix time. Where... the hell do you get that idea? Was it Anne?

Wow. We just LET him do that. Nobody made a move while he went back in time with Agnès

...did Anne just imply that we sent the moon to another dimension?

Oh, no. She just sent the moon to another dimension. And Magnolia’s trying to call her people, but the moon just ain’t there

And here’s the scene I know about. The big reveal that, yes, Anne is Airy’s sister, she knows about you, the player, and now she’s gonna repeat her scene from the start of Default just to make sure you know that you. Messed. Up. You helped her stop Airy, and now she was able to do this. Aren’t you proud, player? You’ve done everything she asked

This boss music is amazing. A combo of Spanish guitar and Wailing guitar? Hell yes

And the butterfly battle background is gorgeous, even if it’s greyscale thanks to the moon’s disappearance

Well, shit. Anne’s hard. Attack one of her fake copies and she’ll basically insta-kill you. Group attacks are not recommended. They’re what keeps killing me

Not bad once you start playing more defensively. Resurrection Mist was a pretty decent idea for that fight with the way Anne can one-shot part members, but Magnolia’s Promethian Fire Arrow was the real damage MVP

Time to escape to the flying bath boat

I just glanced at the bestiary and Anne doesn’t have an entry. Also, it looks like all entries are locked, because the completion markers are faded. I think we’ve hit the end layer

Oh that’s nuts. It looks like time is frozen. All of the flames around the Skyhold stopped moving

“I know the feeling of losing your home” Actually, that raises a good point, Tiz. Are we ever gonna stop by Caldisla or is that just not relevant, since there’s no crystals there

A world without time. A world that both has no end and is the end. The final layer of all reality. The end layer

The Moon “created night from day.” As in, the Moon controlled time, much as the Crystals controlled the elements. Without it, there’s nothing left flowing or moving

This isn’t the first game with a Frozen Future apocalypse that I’ve played. Let’s see how this one stacks up against Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers. A leaf gecko hasn’t come to kick our asses, so it can’t be that bad yet

Ohhhhh shit I just got chills. Tiz said that we never got to fight the Kaiser once, and Yew realized something. He turned to the camera and said “If you’re out there, watching over us... hear my plea.” Yeah, buddy, I can hear you. “Not once?” I remember one time we got him on the battle screen. Just once

(I used up all my SP in the Anne fight, I hope that won’t be a problem)

Tutorial says that Altair has disappeared, so we can’t add entries to the bestiary. Is... the party not capable of writing without Ghost Dad? Did he steal our literacy or something?

It recommended talking to people, but also New Game+. Let’s see this timeless world, then make sure it never happens again 

Not much different in Ancheim. Some worried citizens, a child who’s excited that they can play forever because it’s always day, a mom who wonders if she has to cook dinner now, and a man who’s acting like there’s always been no movement to the clock or sails

Al-Khampis seems to be a mix of panic and contemplating the scientific repercussions of this new world-state. One interesting tidbit is that one scientist detected an anomaly traveling through time, but not to the past. If it WAS the Kaiser, then he went 200 years into the future, instead. Rifa gave us similar dialogue to end layer guy in Sagitta, and then a message appeared saying I unlocked New Game+, so maybe it doesn’t unlock unless you talk to people

Florem is... Florem. Girls wondering if this means there’s not gonna be another festival, but at least the flowers don’t wilt. I can’t help but notice “Alternis” isn’t here anymore. The real interesting thing is Sylvie and the Matriarch

Sylvie: “...Miss Edea. ...So many tears, so many cries you will come to know from now on. So much evil... So much blood... But even so... Even so, that great ship will take to the sky once more...! To the world, bound in the sky, where Lady Agnès is held...!” I suspect we’re going to have to hunt down the Kaiser using the Buster Ship

Matriarch: “Sylvie would like me to tell you this... ...Edea Lee. ...A time is coming for you to come to a decision, no matter how difficult it may seem. You must tell your friends, then you must lie to the people, deceive the world, make yourself out as a tyrant in word and deed... Let yourself be attacked and blamed. Go after the friends you have lost. Take that glimmering ship to the sky once more! And that world, bound in the sky... Well, I’m afraid that this old lady has no idea about that.” Is this what the Kaiser was told? The sin he mentioned? To change the world, operate the shining Skyhold, he had to become the tyrant. And now it seems Edea will have to make the same decision

Though given her decision making track record in the sidequests... boy, she may already be a tyrant. We’re gonna fix that this time. Speaking of, there’s some people from the sidequests who reference a few of them hanging around, though I can’t say any of them won with a frozen future

Every person in Sagitta is just stuck repeating “Bravely Second... The courage to try again...” over and over, except for the guy who first introduces you to the end layer, who notes that this must be it, and the elder, who unlocks New Game+ just like Rifa did when I spoke to her

Gathelatio’s full of people screaming about the end times and divine retribution, and kids who hear all of this going “Are we gonna die?” And ominous cats

That... one Crystalguard guy whose name I can’t remember screams at us for not stopping the Kaiser, then apologizes and unlock New Game+. Hey, jackass. Do you want to go into the pillar of light and get one-shot by a fairy? No? Back off. I’m gonna fix it once I hit up the last few towns

Eternia has... a goat. Has that goat always been there? Well he didn’t break the moon. Just eats paper. Mm-hmm. And more worried citizens, a doomsayer, and one brilliant mind who wants to solve the moon problem using the white magic cables

I guess those taxes don’t matter now, do they, Grandship? Otherwise, not much here. An old lady who doesn’t care because she’ll die soon anyway, a guy who’s getting drunk for the apocalypse, and a kid who’s wondering where Alternis went

Yunohana’s pretty basic. Ominas is there trying to get Bahamut to fight off a Ba’al, but the little guy doesn’t look so good. The Lord of Bath tells us we have enough to uncover our feelings and unlocks New Game+ yet again

Maybe picking Ominas for the bad future was a good idea. Femto Flare could deal with the Ba’al outbreak that everyone’s talking about but I have yet to see

Visited the girl and her grandpa from the Eisen quest. Holly’s there trying to protect them, but she’s not enough and can’t find Barras (oops?) and the grandpa wishes he’d just sold the house so his granddaughter could’ve had a little luxury before the world ended

Goodman and his crew are holding down Eisen Bridge, but his soldiers back in Hartschild aren’t so confident. The people just want him home

I also checked on Sakura and Lotus. Sakura just warns us not to stay in the bath for too long now that there’s no time to keep track of, and Lotus is concerned at the appearance of Ba’al. Everyone keeps mentioning Ba’als, and I’m scared to turn encounters back on just in case they may be roaming

I also don’t think I ever mentioned it, but since the start of the game there’s been one person in each town who sings a different verse of the Tale of Sétana. They have to be important, but I suspect it’s relevant to the Yōkai quest, since it’s the only non-cameo-fight quest I’m aware of

*Edit after the Fact* I’m an idiot who can’t read. It’s Sétanta, as in the original name of the Irish mythological figure, Cú Chulainn. As in, the guy from the Prologue. The songs are his backstory. Setana is an area in Hokkaido, Japan. I knew that, I just can’t read, I guess. Wouldn’t be the first time I did something like this (like misreading the Harry Potter spell “Rictusempra” as “Rictumsempra” until I heard it said aloud while watching someone’s playthrough of the Order of the Phoenix game)

YEAH I TURNED ENCOUNTERS BACK ON AND THERE’S JUST BA’AL WANDERING AROUND AS RANDOM ENEMIES. Heyyyy, Urchin! Been... been a while?

Okay, the “next plot event” marker was on the “To Title” entry on the menu so I’m just gonna... gonna return to the menu. No point fighting Urchin if Altair won’t write a bestiary entry on it

Welcome to Bravely Second: Send Player. No more of this “End Layer” nonsense. I’m here, and I’m gonna help these kids take back their future

Back to the beginning. The fight where nothing seemed to work, but this time, I can help. Let’s get the team back together and RIP. THAT. SWORD. OUT. OF. HIS. DUMB. METAL. HAND!

Well, future Yew just kinda possessed his own body, and a good thing, too, because I don’t think past Yew even knew why he used the Bravely Second in the first place

“You, who would deny the past and present have no right to shape the future.” HE SURE DOESN’T, KIDDO. RIP HIM APART

“The future will be forged by those who accept the world they live in, and still fight for change!” I love Yew, and I’m so glad that I’m his extradimensional patron, in a meta sense

The chapter has ended. No cryptic monologues, no “Great Distance”. Just us, the Kaiser, and our Coup de Gravy!

[brotherskywalker]

I don't want to assume your race, but your info says you're mid 30s, so you are Adam Driver's same age. What do you think of him? How do you feel about him and Kylo Ren being positioned in the protagonist role for TLJ as opposed to being the absolute villain in TFA? I don't usually follow actors even if I like them, but I followed Driver because I thought he had his head up his ass about Ren, but he was actually telling the truth about his position in TLJ.

Same anon also sent another message with:

Sorry, and I’m asking about age because that seems to be a big factor. No guy I know who is my age (I’m 17) likes him or thinks Kylo Ren is cool, it all seems to be either girls/women or dudes like Rian in their 40s. I wasn’t meaning any offense, I was just wondering since you’re a Millennial like Adam Driver and I was just curious. Thanks!

Wow, interesting question, thanks.

I don’t know much/anything about Adam Driver as a person. I just looked up his age, and he’s 34. I’m 36, so it’s pretty close. I’m also a white man. I absolutely hate Kylo Ren. In TFA I thought he was a really uninteresting villain with really weak/unbelievable motivations. I thought he was very badly cast with very bad, over the top acting. I came out TFA liking almost everything except Driver’s Kylo Ren. After I’d had some time to think about, I came around on some of my thoughts. I still think it was a bad idea to make him Han and Leia’s only child, but I thought that making an entitled bratty manchild into the main villain was actually pretty interesting in terms of the political atmosphere at the time. These kinds of men really are the main terrorists in the world right now, and seeing one like him get ultimate power and then get ultimately destroyed would send a great and interesting message to viewers.  I still hated Kylo… but I was supposed to.

The problem is that people like Rian, and other 30+ year-old entitled manchildren identify with Kylo and instead of seeing him as the white terrorist that I think he was intended to be, he’s been twisted into a male fantasy fulfillment icon. He’s got ultimate power, he can tell mom to go to her room, he can have temper tantrums and wreck shit and no one can stop him because he can destroy them, he can manipulate women into loving him just by fucking with their heads. Look, I write and public erotic novels in my spare time. I know what kind of shit guys like Rian are into… and Kylo Ren is totally right up there at the top. He is their wet dream fantasy, and Rian made it reality. It’s super, super gross and makes me really uncomfortable. And, you know, very angry because Kylo Ren as the main character of Star Wars is like… the opposite of everything I feel like Star Wars is meant to be. But I also think Luke Skywalker is one of the greatest cinematic heroes of all time. It doesn’t surprise me at all that Rian disagrees, and is threatened by someone like Luke.

I don’t know if this answered your question at all. I find it very interesting that men your age don’t think Kylo is cool. I guess that gives me some hope for the future! Thank you for the great question, it was really thought provoking for me, anyway.  I’m sure a majority of dudes my age want to be Kylo Ren, rule unchecked and get the girl…. but at least one of us really hates him. XD

[kyloswarstars]

Now or Never

Star Wars, Request, AU

Request: Can I request one for Kylo ren x reader. Where he likes her but isn’t sure how to flirt with her And he comes off a bit intimidating. He ends up giving her a weird gift but she finally realizes what hes been doing.

Pairing: Kylo Ren x Reader

Warning: none (but swearing as always)

Words: 4.0K

A/N: I turned it into an AU 😊 for a request it’s kinda long, idk what happened… I kind of drifted away 🙈 I hope you like it!! Any similarities to other writers’ work are not intended. All ideas used in a fanfiction I post are made up in my brain (as long as it is not a request).

/////

There was always that wall of noise you ran into, when you left the museum after your shift. Inside it’s silent and peaceful. Museums had that special atmosphere of safety. A place where you felt protected. Libraries had that atmosphere too. And as soon as you stepped out of the backdoor, reality and the hectic and loud daily life of Hanna City was thrown into your face.

The sun was setting, flooding the small streets with orange and red. Hanna City always seemed like you could look to the end of the horizon. There were no hills, no up and downs, just plain straight and houses neatly placed at the curbs. Feeling the last bit of warm sunshine on your face felt good. It was the opposite of dipping your face into a flat water surface. But both felt good.

When Kylo left the museum through the backdoor you were already standing there again, waiting. Not for him of course. You waited for that tall, blonde girl to pick you up. And she was late. Even if he never met her, Kylo liked your friend that was always too late because that gave him a chance to stand next to you for a few minutes.

He didn’t think he would enjoy the insides of a museum so much, when he first started working at the register. But soon it seemed like the museum was a portal into another galaxy. He didn’t only find a relaxing silence in there, which his friends joked about whenever Kylo mentioned it, he had also found you. He had never met someone who was as introvert as you but at the same time the most open and kindhearted person. In the mornings you were a little rubber ball, unstoppable and full of energy. And in the evenings you were a balloon losing air.

He didn’t understand why it was so hard for him to talk to you. Words just left him, when he found the courage to approach you. He wasn’t that shy around women usually. But you had something that made him insecure. Not about himself but about how he should interact with you. He couldn’t figure this out. He had heard you giving tours for the visitors, speaking with a lot of passion about the exhibits, but when someone asked you a random question your eyes locked with the ground and you seemed uncomfortable. And he didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.

When Kylo came to a stop beside you at the curb, you looked up from your phone. He didn’t stand too close to you but not too far away that you wouldn’t recognise him standing there. What he had figured out yet: you pulling up the corners of your mouth was the most of a smile you offered someone. You did it out of politeness but still it draw Kylo even more into the mysterious you were for him.

When you worked the same shift, the new guy always waited with you behind the museum after it had closed. It wasn’t annoying, it would have been annoying if Blake would stand next to you because he never shut up, but the new guy was alright. He never talked to you, you didn’t talk to him, so waiting with him until Phasma would arrive was actually okay.

„W-why are you here?“

„Sorry?“ You looked up at him again. His hands clasped the hem of his sweater and he tried not to look into your eyes. He was strange. Always dressed in black, attitude of one of those guys that got drunk every weekend, and he talked to simply everyone but you. Why did he now? Why did he ruin the no-words-waiting-thing?

„Sorry.“ The stare of you made him feel guilty. But why should he feel guilty? For asking a question? For being kind and trying to talk to you? „What I meant was why are you at the museum? W-working in the museum. Why?“

His stuttering made him less intimidating than he usually was. He had this broad shoulders and that deep, soothing voice and that sharp face and that flawless hair, all the features you expected in a guy that played with girls. Damn, my prejudices. It wasn’t okay to have them and you were still working on getting rid off them. Most times it worked but sometimes it didn’t.

Now that he actually talked to you, stuttered to you, he didn’t seem that intimidating anymore. His chopped words made you nearly comfortable in his presence.

„I’m here for the dinosaurs.“

I was right. Kylo always noticed your increasing passion when your tour came to the dinosaur section. What about if the museum didn’t have replicas and skeletons of dinosaurs? Would you still be here? Probably not.

„And why are you here?“

„For the money. I need it.“ You nodded and looked away. When your eyes settled on your phone again, Kylo covered the face in his hands. How could he actually say that?

„Well, dinosaurs and money.“ You had seen his reflection on your screen and decided to show him that nothing was wrong with his statement. Everyone needed money. That’s how it works. Even in Hanna City.

Kylo didn’t know what to return and he couldn’t even return something. Your friend pulled up and you left with a shrug of your shoulders. And one corner of your mouth pulled up.

When you got in her car you didn’t mention that she was twenty minutes late. For Phasma time was a structure that was flexible. Meeting at five? Phasma comes around three hours later. So twenty minutes was like one red traffic light for normal people.

„You saw that guy?“ You settled yourself in the passenger seat, feet against the dashboard and fishing the aux cable from her phone. As much as you loved your best friend, you couldn’t stand her taste in music.

„That tall one waving an awkward goodbye?“

„He waved?“ You turned around even if you were too far away to still see him.

„Yeah.“

Connecting the cable with your phone, you chose a playlist. „That’s the guy who talks to everyone else besides me. But today he talked to me.“

She eyed you over the frame of her sunglasses. „He is kinda cute.“

„Phasma.“

„What? You know I appreciate beauty in all kind of ways.“ She did but that was not why she said it. You knew her too good.

„Let us appreciate beauty in milkshake form, okay?“

/////

Poe had an unhealthy addiction for ice cream. Kylo liked it but Poe was extreme. Yesterday Poe had told him he needed to borrow Kylo’s car. For a really important mission. Today Kylo found out, after his friend had picked him up at the museum, he only borrowed his car because then he would be able to drive to the best ice cream shop in town, and Kylo would be unable to do anything about it.

„Oh, wow, wait!“ Kylo grabbed Poe’s arm and held him back. „We can’t go in there!“ He dragged him away from the door, pulled him back to his car.

„Why? I want ice cream. You won’t stop me from getting my ice cream.“

Kylo looked back to the window. He could only see your back and a bit of your profile, but he saw your tall friend. „She is in there. We need to go!“

„She? Who?“

„She.“ Kylo starred at Poe, his eyebrows met technically his hairline.

„She?“ Poe turned around to get a look at you. „Where?“

„Not! What if she sees us.“

Poe crossed his arms and took a deep breath. Oh no, lecture time. „Kylo, my friend. You’re talking to me about this girl for two months, constantly. Three days a week because you saw her again in the museum, two days a week because she doesn’t work the other shifts with you and on the weekends you cry about yourself and your mouth that won’t work when you’re around her. We’re going in there, we’re getting some ice cream and you’ll flash a smile when she sees you. Alright?“ He walked off and held the door open for him.

Kylo concentrated hard not to look up. He wasn’t prepared to see you outside of the museum, or not behind it. He was scared he would melt right in front of you, seeing you with a friend of yours doing normal stuff and being you in an environment you probably felt comfortable in. Kylo wanted to know so bad how different you were or if there was no difference at all. Still he wanted to walk out of the shop again. He had waved like a freak and you didn’t even register it.

Poe had already ordered for the two of them, he always did that. Kylo didn’t have a favourite ice cream so he didn’t care what he would get.

„Come on.“ Poe pulled at his sweater and headed for a table behind you and your friend. Fuck, keep cool. Be cool. Don’t look up, they won’t notice you.

„You followed us?“ It wasn’t your voice but he looked up anyways. And right into the eyes of your friend. She looked like she would call the cops any second.

„Oh, no. No, I didn’t follow-“ You saw the new guy from the museum with another guy passing your table. He looked so confused and embarrassed under Phasma’s stare.

„Phasma,“ you called her out and then looked to him. „She is joking. She has a strange sense of humour.“

Your voice sounded indeed different. Nearly nonchalant and a little amused. Kylo couldn’t move his eyes from your face. In the museum he never had the chance to get all the details of it.

„We’re here for the ice cream, girls.“ Poe always pulled that charming smile that made all the girls adore him. But your eyes were still locked with his. Kylo needed to break the eye contact when Poe pulled him along. He took the seat where he would sit with the back to you so Kylo needed to sit on the chair where you could see his face. And his most certainly red cheeks.

„Which one is it?“

„The one with the glasses.“

Poe didn’t turn around to take a second look. Kylo would have hit him if he did. „She’s cute.“

„You think I didn’t see that?“ Kylo’s eyes drifted away from Poe. Directly into yours. He expected you to look away but you didn’t.

You sipped your milkshake, hearing Phasma talk, but you didn’t follow her words. What was his name? You never got it. He was just the new guy, even if he was working in the museum for about two months now. You had never looked long enough at him to notice all the small moles covering his face. They looked like constellations you would find at the firmament if you connected them with a marker. Cool, now you wanted to draw lines on his face.

„Y/N!“ Phasma snapped her fingers before your eyes and forced you to look at her. „You heard a single thing I said?“

„Yeah.“

„Good, now come on.“ You followed her out. The guy was watching you when you left. But you didn’t know what Phasma had said. Your thoughts had been a little distracted.

She didn’t drove in your apartments direction. When you arrived at the edge of town you knew where you were going. Some nights Phasma woke you up because she couldn’t sleep. You always went to that abandoned public swimming pool no one cared about. You didn’t get why that thing still existed, Hanna City was a fussy clean city, they usually got rid of places like that. Phasma liked to smash some windows. After a dozen visits there weren’t a lot of windows left. That night she destroyed the last ones.

/////

Your bright voice guided visitors through the museum again, it was still early in the day. Last time Kylo saw you was in the ice cream shop on Thursday. On Fridays you didn’t work and on the weekends the museum was closed. He had been thinking about you all the time. Mostly about your look over the shoulder when you had left with your friend, Phasma. Or about the dark circles under your eyes that shone through the layer of powder. Or about the small, bloody parts of your lips where you chewed on.

In his short break around four, he tried to build up some courage to talk to you again. The last two times didn’t went so well.

You stood in front of that huge Tyrannosaurus rex replica, the last group of visitors had left only a bit ago.

„Hi.“

You turned around when you heard his voice. „Hey.“

„You enjoy the silence?“ Only a few visitors had been around, no one that was loud.

„Actually I do, yes.“ Your arms were crossed but your voice was invite. He felt relieved about that.

„I like it, too. I didn’t know a museum could be such a peaceful place until I got here.“ You nodded, scrunched up your nose a little, out of agreement not refusal, and pulled up the corners of your mouth. God, she was so cute. „I’m sorry for Thursday. I didn’t follow you or anything.“

„I never thought you followed us. That’s literally the best shop around town, I understand why you went there.“

„Poe tricked me into going there. He is addicted to ice cream.“

„The milkshakes are great.“ You dropped the arms to your side and turned completely to him. „I never got your name.“ It was hard to look into his eyes but you didn’t want to look away.

„It’s Kylo.“

„Y/N.“

I know. Your name is beautiful. I want it tattooed on my skin. Someday. Kylo was being a creep again. He loved the sight of someone he knew so little about. That was ridiculous. „I should leave you be.“

You didn’t say something else so he went back to the register. The other two hours were horror. Kylo constantly checked the time but it didn’t move forward. Finally he had a little bit of courage and now he needed to wait. And in that two hours the possibility of losing the recent found courage was high. Very high.

But it didn’t leave him. When he made it to the end of the shift he still felt the courage inside of him. Or so he thought. Because you, waiting at the curb for your ride, made him forget everything and admire your hair, tugged behind your ear. And how it fluttered in the wind when a car drove by. But he needed to do this. He wanted to talk to you.

„Are you waiting for your friend again?“ Oh god, Kylo. Sure she is. What is wrong with you?

„Yeah,“ you looked up. He liked how small your eyes looked in that big glasses. „Usually she texts me around lunch time if she makes it or not, but she didn’t text.“ Your voice was different. He had never noticed anger in it until now.

„You’re alright?“

Turning your full body to him, Kylo did the same. „Honestly? No. She does that all the time. She forgets to charge her fucking phone because her charger is broken and she uses mine. I don’t mind when she uses my stuff, we live together. But she doesn’t care if her phone is charged or not, and then she can’t text back and she won’t make any other effort to tell me if she can take me home or not.“ There was no garbage laying around in Hanna City you could kick, so you kicked some air. „But I shouldn’t complain.“

It was rude for even thinking that but you, angry, were an awesome sight. Kylo didn’t know why but you seemed more alive, more energetic and that suited you. That, and swearing.

He wanted to offer you a ride but he realised he couldn’t. He always waited with you behind the museum until you got picked up. If he would tell you, his car was parked around the corner, what would you think? You would think he was a creep. Which he was. „I would offer you a ride but Poe has my car. Can I help you otherwise?“ Lying was bad, but that was an emergency lie.

„No, thank you.“ Your hands gripped tighter around the straps of your backpack. „Actually, yeah. If she should show up before your friend picks you up, would you tell her I took the bus?“

„Sure, will do.“

„Thanks, Kylo.“ The corners of your mouth pulled up again, a little higher than usual, Kylo thought. He returned it. There was no way not to.

He watched you walk off and waited five minutes after you had disappeared, but your friend didn’t show up. When he got to his car and climbed in, he knew he had to make a stop before he would head home.

/////

You never liked dress codes. You hated the concept in general. You got why they existed, still you didn’t like them. With the dress code for the museum it was different. You were part of the team for six years, starting off at the register, finding out what you wanted to do in college, and staying because you loved sharing information about the exhibits the visitors got to see.

Olivia, curator of Hanna City’s museum of natural history, loved having you around. You loved being around, that were two things that matched up perfectly. She had been responsible for the little, blue and violet triceratops under your name, stitched onto your shirt. And that was why you liked the museum’s dress code. You were happy with the little things in life because life didn’t offer happiness for bigger things. At least not often to you.

You always smiled when you grabbed the uniform from your locker and pulled it on. There was nothing cuter than this little embroidered dinosaur.

Slamming the locker door shut, something fell to the floor. You didn’t notice it when you had entered the breakroom. You kneeled down to pick up a little package wrapped in newspaper. Glued to the package was a little paper with your name on it. You ripped it off and found more words on the other side.

‚Maybe she charges her phone more often now, so you can contact her when she doesn’t show up. But I can give you a ride too, if you need one. Got my car back.‘

Unwrapping the package you found a phone charger. Wow. You wondered who had got you the present, even if you knew it could only be Kylo. Yesterday you had ranted to him about the Phasma-phone-problem, who else could leave a present at your locker that fitted those rant so much? No one. You were even more surprised that he got the right phone charger. Did he actually pay so much attention to remember your phone brand? Did he pay so much attention to you? He had got you a present, that indirectly wasn’t even for you, to solve the Phasma-phone-problem. Why did he? It was weird. It was also very kind.

Life was always like this. When you wanted to confront someone, and you actually had the guts to do it in that moment, karma came around and threw stones in your way. Uncommonly many visitors showed up at the register, a tourist group, that wanted to be given a tour through the museum.

Two hours later you tried it again, but then Kylo wasn’t at the register anymore. Where was he? You searched around the museum but couldn’t find him. You even asked Olivia in her office. She pointed out Kylo was taking smoking breaks form time to time. You tried your luck at the backdoor and there he was.

„Hey.“

Kylo was shocked, hearing your voice out of a sudden, he nearly dropped his cigarette. „Y/N. You smoke, too?“

You wished you still did. „Gave up on it.“

There was this unspoken rule to offer a former smoker a cigarette, just in case. Kylo held out his package.

„I shouldn’t.“ But you needed something that distracted you from confronting him. You weren’t good at things like this. You took one and he offered you fire, but you still carried your own lighter and declined his. That was a habit you didn’t get rid off because lighters were also good for a lot of other things.

The first drag instantly flooded your brain with nicotine. You hadn’t smoked in a year, it felt strange but so familiar. „I received your present.“

„I figured it could be useful. But if you don’t… I mean, if you-“ His stuttering came back around.

„It’s very kind. I appreciate it.“ You had never been that good with social interaction but with Kylo it was simply awkward. On both sides. „But why? I really appreciate it, but why?“

Kylo didn’t think about that part. He tried to come up with a fake reason while he finished his cigarette. Nothing came to his mind. „I always see you being so kind to everyone. I thought it would be only fair to return this kindness.“

„You see me?“

„Sure. You’re like the best to look at in there.“ Fuck, did he actually just say that?

„But there is an one-to-one replica of a Tyrannosaurus rex in the museum.“

Kylo may be clumsy around you, but you were totally blind for someones affection for you. „You are the most beautiful to look at no matter where you are. You understand?“

Your puzzled look lasted a few seconds until your eyes went wide. Red appeared on your cheeks and you couldn’t keep the eye contact. „Oh.“

„I’m sorry. I didn’t want to like… scare you or something.“

„No,“ you snapped, in a good way. „It’s just, I didn’t expect it.“

„So… it’s okay? You’re okay?“ His heart pumped heavy in his chest. After work he needed to find a hole he could bury himself in. This level of embarrassment was hard to cope with physically.

Just when he thought karma was a total bitch, the most fascinating thing happened. You smiled. More than only pulling up the corners of your mouth. Your lips stretched out, over your whole face and your eyes lit up, sparkling in the sun. It felt like a cloudy sky was breaking up, just for Kylo to stand in a ray of sunlight. You made him feel like a corny metaphor.

„I’m absolutely okay. You’re okay with giving me a ride after work?“

„Yes! Sure.“ His chest nearly exploded because of his high pulse. „Do you want to grab a milkshake on the way home?“ Now or never.

„Would that be like some sort of a… date?“

„No, absolutely not. Unless you want it to be.“ Again you smiled at him and that sight killed him.

„Yes, absolutely.“

Bang. He was dead and the most alive he ever was at the same time. He couldn’t wait for six o’clock. He couldn’t wait seeing your smile again. He couldn’t wait hearing you say his name. He couldn’t wait.

He did wait.

And he died and was reborn over and over again, every time you smiled at him with all you got. That was the most beautiful sight he ever saw. He could walk into a hundreds of museums of any kind, and he wouldn’t find a better piece of art to look at than you.