#wrestling is the straightest sport

[sithwitch13]

I love how in AEW the faces and heels are both equally homoerotic, it's just that the faces are full of longing and the heels lack awareness of personal space

[yuinterrobangapologist]

Batfam members by which obscure Olympic Sport(s) they would be (its a stunt for charity or something):

Bruce: His inquisitive nature leads him to ask: Is there a limit on how many Sports You're Allowed to Compete In? Not for him. He wins gold in Golf, Diving, Badminton, Greco-Roman Wrestling, Ice Dancing with Cass (she's not going to prom of course, so this is his best chance at a father-daughter dance) BMX Racing, Men's Skeet (he has nothing against sport shooting! Honest!), Dressage, and Weightlifting (wait? 860 KILOS??), and Beach Volleyball (Dick is his partner). In fact, he already did sports with Dick and Cass! Why not all his kids! Badminton with Bette (she's basically his niece, come on now), Tennis with Jason, Luge with Tim (Tim literally falls asleep on top of him), and 3x3 Basketball with Damian and Duke.

Kate: Kate runs a poll on twitter asking for the "Straightest sport possible" and that's how she ends up doing a fucking 50 kilometer race walk. Why the fuck is walking an Olympic Sport?? I don't know Kathy, its for charity, just do it please. So for one day, Kate turns into Karen, and speed walks 3. Fucking. Hours. Kate is tempted to melt her Bronze of course its fucking bronze medal down into parts for nose piercings out of malic

Luke: Obvs wants to go into a combat sport. Which is why Dick purposefully tells he he wouldn't be able to do anything else, and dares him to try Artistic Gymnastics. He gets Gold in Rings and Silver in Pommel Horse and Vault

Dick: Dick wants to challenge himself by doing the other Gymnastics he's never done. So he signs up for Rhythmic Gymnastics! But...it's a women-only sport. Which is why Dick comes out as genderfluid and is a woman specifically for the games (cue Tim being fucking furious at Dick about enforcing negative stereotypes). And naturally, Dick wins. But also....you know...he kind of really feels...empowered with she/her pronouns. Like....it feels right. And thus, it took winning an Olympic Sport for Dick to realize he was bigender all along.

Bette: She's like actually a Tennis player, so that. Also, she idolizes Dick and wants to impress him with her super good Gymnastics skills. After winning the gold she bites it in tradition, and it actually bends. She actually ended up with a fucking poorly made tin medal fuck this is so embarrassing noone look at me

Babs: Curling, another weird fucking sport. It's basically like shuffleboard on ice. And honestly, like, its not an athletic sport. Honestly, you probably could do it in a wheelchair. And a huge part of it is technique and intellect. It was MADE for Oracle. After she wins Tesla reachers out for a sponsorship deal to make a robotic wheelchair, and Babs makes a working spaceship just to fucking spite Elon. She also hacks X and removes all the X branding, literally turning it back into Twitter.

Jason: I kid you not, in 2024 they will add competitive breakdancing To the Summer games. Jason is on the first U.S. team. It...you know there were worse ways to make money on the streets than street performing...and you know...it was fun too...I made like $74 one day outside an iHop. No shit fuck Babs don't look for it please don't fuck no please

Tim: Skateboarding has also been recently added to the Olympics. Tim isn't allowed to put his Superboy stickers on it because Young Justice happen to be involved in several international incidents.

Steph: Everyone remembers Steph lived in Africa, but no one even bothered to ask her about it, much less ask which country. Ethiopia, thank you for asking. Curious how they offered her citizenship right after she announced her Olympic plans. Steph wins gold in Speed Skating, giving the continent of Africa its first ever medal in the Winter Games. (She mentions this every single time possible)

Dami: Modern Pentathlon is by far the weirdest fucking sport in existence, but Dami loves it. He gets to swordfight, shoot things, and most importantly. meet a horse.

Cass: Karate kata. Cass in a combat sport would just be unfair, so she does the Kata, just showing off the execution and form. Ice Dancing with Bruce, as mentioned earlier. Her outfit is based on the Black Swan, of course. Frustratingly Bruce is much better at it than her, and she's unsure why. Until it dawns on her she's competing and he's having fun with his daughter. After she stops caring about scores, they two get the highest score in history.

Duke: Artistic Swimming. 2024 is the first year men will be allowed. "No Bruce, I'm isn't going to use my powers to see easily in the water, god." And showing off his abs to that pretty girl in his Women's Studies Elective is definitely not part of his choice of sport. Nope. (She's turned off by his puberty acne, and Duke cries in his room for 8 days straight)

Harper: No Bruce. No Steph. Fuck you Cass. No. No. No. Hey Harper, just wanna let you know, as part of the charity thing, we're doing a gala, and Bernard's busy. Do you think Cullen would like to go?...Fine Tim, I'll do it, for Cullen. Harper of course needs to do something to make an impact though. If she's gonna do this shit, she might as well have fun with it. Which is why she starts a one-woman crusade to add a new sport. It takes petitions, conferences, and a few million dollars in charitable donations to the IOC...but a new sport is added, and Harper Rowe because the Olympic's first ever gold medalist in Sumo Wrestling.

[brightnshinythings]

I posted 2,412 times in 2022

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I tagged 81 of my posts in 2022

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Longest Tag: 59 characters

#it was either jurassic park or the first addams family film

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

AU Meme - Day 3 - Medieval

See, I'm finally writing fic for this meme

Fandom: Wrestling Characters: HHH Rating/Warning: gen fic

Medieval AU

He wants to ride out; he longs to ride out.  To defend the kingdom as he has done so often before.

He knows he can't, those days are behind him now, a knight who cannot hold sword, shield or lance is more of a danger to his own side than any opponent, although a civil war is precisely the situation where his experience would be most needed.

Civil wars are the worst of wars, because both sides are aware of the other's weaknesses and driven by whatever rage started the war to attack those weaknesses.

He recognises the tactics of several of the most recent raids against King Vince's strongholds - like so many Helmsley learnt from the Kowalski's Ars Belli Pulchrae but he was taught all the ways to lie and cheat in war, all things the Ars Belli Pulchrae would never have taught, by Sir William of Regal, and the way Duke Tony's raiders attacked the castle at Full Sail, that was pure William.

Helmsley can't claim that he doesn't know what grievances started this war, what has lead so many of his friends to join with the traitor Duke Tony.  He shares so many of them, but he made his choice, years ago, and he'll stay true to it.

2 notes - Posted April 24, 2022

#4

For @idlesuperstar

2 notes - Posted June 24, 2022

#3

Fanfic asks: 🖊

@lenny-kosnowski, more than most people, knows I'm impossible and work on multiple WIPs at the same time. At the moment, I'm actively working on a Mission Impossible fic, a Moulin Rouge fic, a Last of the Summer Wine fic, a Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle fic and a Batman fic. As the Batman fic is the one she knows about and has the temporary title of "Exit, pursued by Aunts", I present the most recent paragraph.

"Bruce hadn't considered how bad the worst of it could get, and how his secret identity would make it worse. People said things to Batman that they'd never say to Bruce Wayne, particularly when talking about Bruce Wayne."

3 notes - Posted May 15, 2022

#2

AU Meme - Day 13 - Buddy Cops/Detective

Fandom: Wrestling Characters: Darby Allin, Sting, Ricky Starks and Taz Rating/Warnings: Gen fic

Starks was a loud-mouth braggart. The worst of it was, he was probably as good at being a detective as he thought he was. That was why the Bureau had put him and Hobbs (of course 'and Hobbs') on the drugs running case out of Jacksonville. Darby, meanwhile, knows he's "the posterboy for tweakers" (thank you, Ricky Starks), and you know what, he's sure he'd ace this undercover mission in other circumstances, but he's been given the straightest arrow since Joe Friday as his partner. Darby understands why departmental policy is no-one goes undercover alone, but he knows how he's going to infiltrate the biker gang with a sideline in meth (or the meth gang with a sideline in bikes, opinion varies), but he has no idea how Sting plans to because the man radiates "don't mind me, busy being responsible and good." Everyone knows he ought to be Bureau Chief and the only reason he isn't is because he doesn't want the job, because he doesn't want the IV antacids Taz says are required to cope with the agita that inevitably comes with it. Darby plays his face as strong as he can while Sting turns up on the Friday. In a suit. In a biker bar. It goes as well as expected. "I just want a beer, alright." And it's like Sting straightens up and suddenly realises that Sting is not a small man - not as big as several of the bikers, but serious enough that they aren't going to do anything. Somehow it works, Darby spends more time in the bar, but they just accept Sting as a businessman who has to commute and uses the bar as a good place to break, and maybe spends more time there than he intends, and more money, and more time and money on some of the girls. Darby isn't sure how that slow (really, really slow) but steadily progressing investigation descends into him and Sting fighting their way through the gang and eventually Sting riding a monster truck over all their bikes. He is reasonably sure he heard maniacal laughter out of Sting. He definitely heard Taz laughing. In fact, he's not sure if Taz is ever going to stop laughing. "Are you not surprised?" Because, see also, Straight Arrow Sting turning out to know three monster truck owners well enough to ask to borrow their pride and joys ... "You do know he was like Californian trick surfing champion ... thirty, ... no forty years ago. You don't grow out of that kind of stupid." Well he never!

3 notes - Posted July 23, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Eurythmics, Annie Lennox, Dave Stewart - Who's That Girl? (Official Video)

6 notes - Posted July 22, 2022

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[junebug1213]

oh. wow. i hadn't watched the video when i sent that last one and. wow. that's pretty much what i had been hoping for

Mark really just held Eef against him like that. and then "you gotta be in my crotch"

"how can you resist it, Ethan?" an actual quote from Amy

i expected this. wrestling isn't the straightest sport. but man...

When Mark grabbed Ethans ankle and pulled him to the ground I audibly went “That’s hot”. Just imagining them fighting (for whatever reason) and Mark throwing him down and straddling him 🥵

Nothing wrong with a little homoerotic fighting amiright? ;)

[bikerboyfriend]

what do you MEAN hockey is a gay sport every annoying third grader boy ive ever known plays hockey 😭😭 u know the ones that were like crying cuz they didnt get the ball in PE and wore bad hawaiian shirts 😭😭😭😭😭 these are the straightest ppl alive bro wdym

NWJKNSDFNJDFN tbh i mean girls more than boys teebeeaych......i think wrestling more for boys

[kurtkellyisgay]

FOOTBALL IS THE GAYEST SPORT. YOU RUN AROUND IN TIGHT PANTS CHASING BALLS AND ROLLING AROUND ON THE GROUND WITH OTHER MEN. IF THAT DOEST SCREAM GAY TO YOU THEN IDK.

football is the straightest sport mainly because it’s all in the name of broship

you know what’s gay??? soccer and wrestling and hockey and probably water polo because why wouldn’t water polo be gay