#wrote a whole essay about my beloveds <3

[limonjarritos]

VINCE IS SO DOWN BAD FOR RODY OH MY GOD??? LITERALLY KILLS HIS EX GIRLFRIEND TO MAKE HIM HAPPY???? THEYVE KNOWN EACH OTHER LESS THAN A WEEK??????

LITERALLY LIKE- MY MAN FELL HARD AND INSANELY. LIKE WHO DOES THAT? I wouldn't have it any other way. Just the way that as soon as Rody came into his life he was like 'I need this man to be so whole-y mine.'

When I was playing the game my pet theory was that he fell for Rody's brand of love, for how he loved Manon (he did say that he spoke of Manon when they first met) and Rody's personality.

(read more because I am so annoying about this game vv)

Something something, how Rody loves so intensely to the detriment of himself (Manon told him to stop giving, to for once in his life realise that he needed to take care of him self and be stable. He can't just account for the other person's needs <- barely know her but I get why Rody was head over heels). How Rody's love is similar to his cooking, burning, burning himself, burning and oh so overwhelming. And I do think Vince wanted the feel of that burn for himself, wanted to feel the warmth and devotion of which he had been so devoid of. To understand what it was he was lacking. How love and cooking go hand in hand in the story, how Vince's dishes were devoid of love, how he can't taste. How Rody's love surely would be strong enough, would be the missing ingredient to allow him to finally taste something. (Also lack of taste going hand in hand with what looks like depression of some sort, or perhaps just apathy for life. How bland his own life may be. How such a love, such a person could perhaps bring some taste to his life.) Vince seems to have killed Manon as a form of trying to show Rody a similar type of love. Giving him something, giving him a meal made out of Rody's own love. A gift since he couldn't give his own brand of love in a way that matters, couldn't give it without showing his own brand of devotion. I do think he 100% had an underlying jealousy and hatred of Manon, how Rody was still stuck up on her. How she never once mentioned Rody when her and Vince dated (though outside of Vince's pov I'm pretty sure Manon was just doing the healthy normal thing by not mentioning an ex?? but Vince is soooo gone) which is obviously a sin (he doesn't seem to take kindly to people who are mean to Rody. Such as the article and Rody's old college classmate) and proof she wasn't deserving enough of Rody's love. But alas she was still a gift and show of love to Rody.

On the personality topic (thought I forgot about that did you?), Rody is such a brash and kind person. A perfect foil for Vincent's more stoic nature. Rody willing to try and befriend Vincent, running into the kitchen to talk to him. He showed a bit of said love to Vince by trying to befriend him and how could Vince not want more? (why wouldn't Vince try to reciprocate in his own way. Make him happy) I mean he seems pretty feared by his cooks, and the people at the party have mentioned that Vince is pretty ruthless, not at all a person many wish to get to know. But Rody is willing to, yet Vince wants his undivided attention...

Okay wow this has gone on way too long uhh I'm 100% open to further discussion especially if I forgot something! And I haven't really looked too much into the game past playing it, so any reveals the creator may have given I'm mostly unaware of and would love to be informed of more!

Anyways tiny Vincent attack!

[hdusa]

Hi Zam, I wrote a whole analysis/essay on my blog about why I think Eclipse is still so loved by the community since you were talking about it on stream the other day and it's still such a beloved plot in my heart. It's about what brings a viewer in to a story: basically that you let us into your thoughts, wrestle with difficult situations and weigh what matters most to you, and then make a decision which moves the plot forward. You do it so well. Absolutely no pressure to read it though!

Hello I just read it and I loved it. This has inspired me to also read the mer essay which I will find time to do one day but this was very well put. My favourite aspects of story telling are based around character growth so it’s interesting to see how that carried over into Eclipse. I mainly thought about the dynamic of going from a brave fearless heroic character in season 3 to a more afraid character that hides from conflicts and worries about literally everything. It’s interesting to see how my character continued to evolve in believable (I think) ways despite me not really putting much thought into it. (It probably came from me trying to take everything as seriously as I possibly could and acting like everything happening is literally happening to me)

I love the section where you mention the other people that contributed to the story because you’re absolutely right. Without any of those people it wouldn’t have been anywhere near the same story. Subz having an entirely different character arc that you can view through his streams is also one of my favourite parts of the story. Multiple perspectives added a lot to our interactions because through every conversation you would’ve seen what made him act the way he did and I think that’s beautiful.

I already believed it before, but man. If I made a video for season 4 that only centred around the eclipse federation and was more accurate to the streams, it’d be a completely different video. Thank you for making this, I’m so excited to take certain things I did here on accident into account for next season :333

[unexpectederawhilesubmitting]

I'm thinking about making video essays exploring the history of Doctor Who, especially the weird lore and queer storytelling of the wilderness years.

After my post about how *60TH ANNIVERSARY SPOILERS* biregeneration ties into pre-existing lore surrounding The Watcher from the classic series got over 6,000 notes (not bad for one of my first ever posts, lol), I've realized that lots of people don't know the wacky history of Doctor Who.

For instance, this is of interest to me as a queer person: did you know that in 1997, Russell T Davies wrote an official Doctor Who novel where the Doctor's male companion gets head from another man in the back of a taxicab (and, in doing so gives the guy the cure for HIV in the process because he's from the future and he's already been cured???)? And, to top it all off, it's wrapped in a story about a drug dealer who rose from the grave and is basically giving everybody alien cocaine, so it basically rules.

The thing is, this is far from the only story like this during that era. After the original series went off the air in 1989, we went into what's informally known as "the wilderness years". During this time, there were no new episodes of Doctor Who being broadcast on TV, and so the story continued across multiple different mediums, novels, audio dramas, etc. As it also was no longer a flagship BBC title anymore, the executive oversight got extremely lax, enabling creators to start exploring themes that would normally have been rejected for being "too dark" or "too gay" for a normal BBC production. In some cases, this led to some deeply messed up edgelord fanfic being published officially, but in other cases, it led to some of the coolest and most experimental years of Doctor Who's history.

It's also the time period where we start seeing more and more queer representation, as well as several instances of

(because for real there's one audio drama where the Eighth Doctor's companion gets transformed into an insect broodmother thing and it's very, uh...the writer of that one is certainly an interesting person)

(The Creed of the Kromon if you're interested)

(don't be interested, please)

BUT all that is to say, there are so many absurdly cool moments in the show's history pre-2005 that I feel most modern fans haven't had the opportunity to explore!!! That's not in a neckbeard "uh, you're not a true fan unless..." way, that's in a "oh my god you're so lucky you get to experience this stuff for the first time!!!!" way.

Going back and looking at those things also makes the modern show have sooooo much more depth, because many of the writers and behind the scenes folks of the revival series worked on the expanded universe projects during the Wilderness Years. As a result, they pulled a lot of their ideas from their old projects into the show! For instance, Human Nature and The Family of Blood, and the whole concept of Chameleon Arches?

That entire episode is LITERALLY an adaptation of a preexisting novel from the 90's, Human Nature:

The only difference is that they changed a few details to make it fit into the continuity of the 10th Doctor's storyline.

All that is to say, there's so many cool Doctor Who things out there, and so few people going in depth with them. I think I might start producing some video essays about some of these (like Faction Paradox, my beloved <3), if anyone's interested.

[ltwharfy]

"Bob's Burgers" Season 14 Episode Ranking Rewatch (long post)

So, I've been rewatching "Bob's Burgers" from the beginning and ranking the episodes using the spreadsheet that @babsvibes created! If you want to know why I'm doing this or how I view the 1-5 rating scale, you can check out my Season 1 post! If you want to check out any of the other seasons, I've been using the "bob's burgers episode ranking rewatch" tag for all of them.

Now, on to Season 14:

Average (Mean) Score: 4.54

Mean (Most Common) Ranking: 5

Ranking Breakdown: 8 5s 4 4s 1 3

Season as whole thoughts:

I won't call it a comeback...but you can check the previous posts and see that the strike-shortened Season 14 has the highest average score since season 9 and that it's numbers put it right up there with my personal Golden Age of the show. It's possible there is some sort of recency bias with these ratings- with one exception (guess which one...) I've only watched these episodes maybe two or three times now so the jokes might feel a little fresher and make me laugh a bit more than they otherwise would. But, I don't really think that's the case. Rewatching these episodes I think that Season 14, like my beloved Season 7, features a great blend of humor, creativity, and emotional resonance, both within individual episodes and throughout the season as a whole.

I also feel like this was a pretty great season for the show's supporting characters: Rudy becomes the first non-main character to be the focus of an episode, we learn more about Zeke's past, they actually made me feel sympathy for Logan, interesting new characters like Will and Sam were introduced, and we get the long awaited (possibly only by me) return of Downtown Randolph Brackenbrown!

Some thoughts on specific episodes (and feel free to ask if you want my thoughts on an episode I didn't comment on):

"Fight at the Not Okay-Chorer-al": The bedtime story- and the way the telling of it went back and forth between the parents and Louise- was a really fun, unique way to break out of the normal world of the show without doing another anthology episode (even though I love those.) So many of the visual details of the western town were beautiful, compelling, and fun. And I'm a sucker for an emotional Linda and Louise story.

"The Amazing Rudy": I am totally normal about this episode. Writing two fics inspired by an episode within a week of it airing is normal, right? Okay, yeah...this episode emotionally resonated with me more than any piece of entertianment I'd encountered in a while. The way it captured the feelings of being a child of divorce- the stress, the anxiety, the loneliness-hit home for me so hard. I can pause this episode at multiple points and tell you about similar things that happened in my own life. And, while I know it's just a coinceidence, it's so weird for me that this story came out last year. Because when I wrote my first fic about Rudy earlier last year, I foiund myself crying while writing a line mentioning his parents divorce- and that lead me to think about why- and to finally do something to process how my parents' divorce decades ago had affected me in ways I hadn't acknowledged before- and to work to move beyond that. So, maybe it's a coincidence, or maybe the Molyneux sisters are witches who can see into my soul? Really, who's to say?

Okay, sorry to do two paragraphs on one episode, but that kinda turned into a weird autobiographical essay, didn't it? As an episode, I think this is top notch in terms of writing, direction, animation, music, and especially the voice-acting of Brian Huskey and Kristen Schaal. Also, while this might sound like a weird comment coming from Mr. "I've been shipping Louise/Rudy since the first airing of 'Carpe Museum'", I really didn't think about the end of this episode in romantic/shippy way until I came on here and saw some other Roudise folks squeeing over it. Because, while you can view it that way, I also think at its heart this episode is really a story about loneliness and friendship-about how we can all help ease each others pain just by being there for one another. And I hope folks can appreciate this lovely story of friendship even if they don't enjoy Roudise from a shipping perspective.

"The Pickleorette": That was fun! Really, both the A story and B story in this episode are a hoot. TIna immediately forgetting about the board game and scheming about how to see Pickles in the restaurant is one of the funniest moments all season. The lines about big sisters making mistakes so little sisters know its okay not to be perfect are some of the best moments between both Linda & Gayle and Tina & Louise.

"Running Down a Gene": I am always a sucker for weird dreams, and Mr. Ambrose always cracks me up. The Louise and Tina cricket storyline is funny and weirdly sweet. But what ultimately puts this into 5 territory is Gene's sweet song at the end- I always love when they have him write a surprisingly moving song (see also "The Gene and Courtney Show").

"Bully-ieve It or Not": It was great to learn more about Zeke's past and get a new (hopefully recurring) member of the 8th grade class. But the character I really loved the most in this one was Jimmy Jr.- in this story, he is the voice of reason, displays some emotional intelligence, and you see how much his friendship with Zeke means to him. Really, this is an A+ story for both Zeke and J-Ju in my book.

"The (Raccoon) King and I": If I need to choose an episode from the whole series to cheer me up when I'm feeling down, it might be this one. The storylines are all pretty low stakes (except for Little King Trashmouth) but the endings are all super sweet! Tina gets to "woo!"; Arnold, Andy, Ollie, and Rudy dance like the nerdy boys they are; Bob dances like the tired middle-aged man he is; Louise fills up a giant bowl with soft serve ice cream to bring to her friends (this is literally one of my favorite images from the whole series); and Little King Trashmouth and His Husband Gary are reunited!!! It is all so freaking beautiful, man!

"Fraud of the Dead: Zombie-Docu-pocalypse": Just a really fun episode- a great way to break from the show's usual formula while still telling a funny, emotionally resonant story. I kind of wish we could see another episode that was the "behind the scenes" of the movie from this episode- I particularly enjoy wondering about if Louise scripted everybody's lines or if it was more improv (Yes, I am particularly wondering about Rudy's "I don't want to be remembered as a complainer" line). Also, Louise beginning to sing in the documentary was one of the biggest laughs in the season for me just because it was so unexpected.

"Jade in the Shade": Putting this in here for Babs, as her reward for creating the spreadsheet and making it through all these posts, but my biggest laughs in this episode came from Cynthia and Logan's interaction. I think anyone who's ever been a teen boy with a mom can relate to Logan in this one. The Linda and Louise interaction is also great, and I loved the return to some of the settings of the movie.

"Butt Sweat and Fears": The Tina storyline and the way it ends- both with her and Sam dancing and with Jimmy Jr. leaning on her- is just so freaking sweet. It's also a really funny episode throughout (call me immature, but the stuff about Chelsea's potentially sick cat and it's poop really cracked me up). And it was fun to see Dalton again- one of those enjoyable recurring characters who I forget about until he's on screen! Funny, sweet, good supporting chracters- this served as a fitting ending to this short season.

Random thoughts (stuff that doesn't affect the ratings):

-Rudy was in six of the first nine episodes of this season, making me hope he was on track to tie or pass his record for most appearances in a season (seven in both Seasons 5 and 10). Alas, he didn't appear in any of the remaining episodes. Who knows how many episodes he would've appeared in if it was a full length season? Too bad the season was shortened by the strike. Rudy's kind of like the 1994 Montreal Expos in that regard. (This is an incredibly dorky joke put in solely for my own amusement, please feel free to ignore it.)

Is this the end of my Episode Ranking Rewatch Long Posts?!?! Probably not, I'll probably do one or two more with some thoughts on the series as a whole and sharing my writer and director rankings, since those were one of the reasons I found Babs' spreadsheet so exciting to begin with.

[spacemonkeysalsa]

I got so very baited recently, because I am naïve in the ways of internet trolls. Lmao and all that, but I couldn't stop thinking about the fact that a lot of people really do seem to genuinely believe that God Gale is a good ending, and then I wrote 2300 words about the three reasons it makes me super sad actually. Writing is a compulsive activity for me, I kinda felt like I had to or I wouldn't be able to think about anything else, or sleep.

My bait would be that I do consider ascending Gale to godhood a worse outcome for Gale than ascending Astarion is for Astarion, not because Ascended Astarion is at all okay, but because Astarion has zero good options in the first place. Gale has a whole range, so going with one of his bad endings feels extra tragic to me because there was potential for him to be as alright as possible for any mfer in Toril, whereas everything with the poor vampire is kind of a negotiation of different scenarios of complication and misery.

Anyway, below this cut is 2300 words of me feeling heavy about God Gale.

God Gale is a Bad Ending (in this essay I blah blah blah)

Three umbrella sads (meaning big reasons containing lots of little reasons)

First) DnD gods are all terrible, and Gale will not be an exception:

The themes of power and authority explored in Baldur’s Gate 3 all have fairly similar messaging. To be reductive: power corrupts and those who seek authority over others inevitably abuse them. This is introduced on both high and lower levels within the story, and on the high side of things, it’s with the gods themselves. The writers chose to include Mystra, a pretty universally beloved goddess who is considered “good” by the majority of DnD players. Mystra is then depicted as someone who grooms and callously discards her chosen. We also learn that she seeks some of them out when they are very young, but that's not a requirement for grooming. The power imbalance between any mortal seeking favor and the literal goddess that they worship is great enough that any close relationship would be inherently difficult to navigate. And from what we see Mystra has grown disconnected from the mortal experience, to a pretty alarming degree, in spite of once being mortal herself and keeping many mortal chosen close. She is not handling this relationship well, and is leveraging the power imbalance rather than trying to mitigate its negative qualities. The significance of this might be somewhat lost on people who are new to Toril and the gods of this world, but a lot of veteran DnD players actually found this to be kinda scandalous/”wildly out of character for Mystra” and they completely missed the point that Larian did this on purpose. It’s a very intentional way of making sure you understand, trust no bitch. (in this scenario gods are the bitches)

I don’t really think there’s much of an argument that Mystra did alright by Gale—but people do try to make it. I’m ignoring them for now. Resting on the assumption that we recognize that what Mystra did to Gale (both prior to the events of the game, and within the game’s narrative) was 100% not ok, I think it’s important to remember that there are endings in which Gale goes to Elysium with Mystra, has the orb removed, is even restored back to his original body from being a mindflayer ect. By all appearances, Gale seems pretty happy with this when it happens. But knowing what we know, he shouldn’t be. He deserves better. I actually love this—I mean, it’s awful and upsetting, but it’s perfectly tragic and appropriate for Gale. He’s not above delusion and weakness and mortal failings. He can become a god, and I actually don’t think I need to make much of an argument for why I don’t believe he would be an exception, because there is no exception, to this particular rule. Even Withers, by and large depicted as helpful, is aloof and ultimately responsible for the Dead Three being such menaces in the first place.

But, I’ll make the argument that Gale can’t be an exception anyway. Or, I’ll let Gale make it for me, by just saying that if you let him ascend to godhood and then talk to him about it at the epilogue party, it’s already pretty clear that he’s not an exception at all. He’s making excuses, he’s disconnected, he’s neglectful and unfeeling. I actually think it’s clearer to see when you aren’t in a relationship with him than when you are, which also feels right. His prior experience with serious relationships was with a goddess who made him her chosen so there’s probably some sense of romance to making his partner feel singled out that he might not even realize he’s performing. To the rest of the world he might be just another god with a domain that can be used for good or ill and who doesn’t concern himself with mortal suffering, but you know “the real him” and you know he’s good to you and that’s all you need to know.

Second) He knows now that he wasn’t enough as he was:

Gale’s desire for power seems like it’s something he’s innately had for a long time, but so is his sweetness and his ability to come down hard on himself for his failings. This is really nicely encapsulated in the letter that you get from Elminster at the epilogue party when he ascends, in which Elminster expresses his regrets over the part he played in Gale’s fate. (I’m just going to glide right past the fact that Elminster, Tara and implicitly Gale’s mother all think his ascension is bad, I do think that’s evidence, but I want to focus on my reasons, not theirs). To sum up, the letter describes Elimnster’s first encounter with Gale, featuring the eight year old wizard accidentally destroying flowers with Fireball and being very upset about it. To do a quick and dirty analysis of the coding here:

Flowers = good and beautiful things (also, the natural world and by extension the mortals in it)

Crying = Gale’s better nature showing through (empathy, something gods repeatedly suck at)

Fireball = power/harm he’s capable of, and power and harm are equivalent (supernatural/godly power and its destructive force against mortals)

That better nature is what we’re always trying to get at with Gale, and they make it pretty difficult because he’s the platonic ideal of a true neutral. And a) alignment in DnD can be difficult to understand, plenty of good characters do horribly immoral things without their alignment shifting, because what constitutes evil is relative to their “chaos—-lawful” positioning and b) I think people who believe Gale to be good aligned need to commit to an evil playthrough of Baldur’s Gate 3, keep him in the party, keep him close, and talk to him often, because he is so frighteningly good at making excuses for you as you play the role of an edgelord anime monster. He’s desperate and way more comfortable with all this than you might think, because he’s in the trenches now. When I killed Isobel in my embraced durge run, I would rate Gale’s reaction to that as being slightly less upset than Astarion and Minthara. Everyone hates it though, no one is ok with you killing Isobel, most of them straight up tell you’re a fucking idiot for doing it. Gale’s a bit less harsh. He’s “not sure” it was a good idea.

This isn’t related, but I just realize I REALLY want to hear Gale call me an idiot, is that anywhere in the game? Can someone tell me? Oh god, has this awakened something in me? Anyway, his better nature is someone who is both confident and capable, but no longer reaching for the next horizon, and the next one after that, no longer under the impression that he needs to obtain something unobtainable to be considered worthy of love. He’s still connected to the beauty of mortal experience, and still empathetic. He can cherish what he has and who he is, rather than serving ambition over all. The ending where he becomes a god is validation of his beliefs that he is inadequate as he is. You can fanfic a future in which the opportunity to prove otherwise arises (I did) but that’s where the game leaves you with him. There is no more. The Fireball and the power it demonstrated was more important than the flowers.

Three) He is not making you his equal, he’s the god of ambition and you are a mortal consort just like he was to Mystra:

This is probably going to be the “I was with you until” part. Sorry, it involves DnD lore.

I appreciate that most people simply will not be open to the idea that they misinterpreted what happens with Gale at the end of the game if you romance him, ascend him, and then go with him to Elysium. The “I know what I saw” of it all is really hard to overcome, but: 

I don’t actually feel like writing up an eh “academic” explanation of this again and I can’t find the email where I ranted about it to someone in private, so here’s an excerpt from my Wyll/Gale fic (it’s not posted yet, it’s going to be long and I’m editing) where I included the idea in a way that I hope is more entertaining than if I just wrote out an explanation of how DnD gods are made. Please don’t be too weirded out by the fact that it’s a conversation between Minthara and Wyll and that Wyll is in disguise but Minthara knows it’s him, and is implied to have gone to hell with her girlfriend Karlach, I promise all that makes sense in context:

~

“I must admit, I was surprised to learn that when Gale offered to bring you with him to Elysium, you refused him.”

“Who’ve you been talking to?” Wyll had confided in precious few people about that, and Minthara certainly wasn’t one of them, but then he realized the question was foolish. Karlach had been there for him right after, when his heart was broken. No one knew that feeling better than she did.

“Who else?” Minthara challenged, she had a peculiar look on her face and seemed eager to look away quickly. Then he remembered, she probably found the glamour off-putting.

“The two of you really care deeply for each other.” Wyll remarked.

“She cares for me in spite of her better judgment, in spite of her very nature, it seems at times,” Minthara mused, “I will conquer every layer of hell for her, as that is what is required.” Her eyes traveled pointedly over the collection of tents around them. A mere fraction of her company, but a formidable group of handpicked soldiers.

“Is that what this is all about? Gathering an army?” It wasn’t a bad use of the Eltan’s funds either. Wyll hadn’t expected to approve of Minthara’s mercenary endeavors, but here they were.

“It will take a lot more than soldiers—even very disciplined ones—to defeat archdevil legions. But, it is a start. One certainly cannot expect to raze the hells without soldiers.” Minthara took a long drag on her pipe, red eyes alight with the glow of the fire. “But, we were talking about you,” she gave him one of her accusing smiles. “You just and righteous types do so love to hide the subtle manipulation of changing the subject under the guise of genuine interest in others.”

“I am genuinely interested,” Wyll felt the burn of a blush. The drow was half right, after all. “I don’t know if there’s hope for the hells to ever be more than pure despair, but any improvements would have to come by way of a regime change. I wish you both every good fortune in your efforts.” He cleared his throat, “but fine. What did you want to know about it?”

“I believe I already know why you refused Gale. I would like validation, or a correction, if I’m wrong. But I rarely am.”

Wyll’s guts twisted a little. It wasn’t comfortable to imagine Minthara thinking about his ill-fated romance with the god of ambition, let alone having theories about why it had gone so poorly in the end. “Go on then. Out with it.” He steeled himself for what he imagined would be nothing less than agonizing insight into one of his most painful memories.

“You knew he was lying,” said Minthara simply.

Wyll released the breath he’d been holding and began to nod along as she continued.

“To become a god, one needs, at a minimum, extraordinary power, domain and worship. Sponsorship from another god doesn’t hurt, but if the gods were allowed to simply ascend anyone they lay with, the heavens would be chaos. Ao would never make such an exception.” Minthara smacked her pipe against her hand, loosening the remaining contents and letting the dust fall into the fire with a flare.

“My reasoning was more complex and nuanced than that,” Wyll said quietly, “but you are not wrong. I like to think that such a blatant deception would be above Gale, but I cannot say that I would put it past him to perhaps… put more stock into my ambitions than he should. I think if I’d gone with him, we would have had a few blissful days of happy reunion, and then it would be time to plan the process of my true ascension. I would have to approach it with a detailed mapping of how to acquire what I needed and ascend on my own merits. It would have been a pursuit for something I did not want, that would have likely failed, and cost me the remainder of my life. Everything else I held dear, everything I had worked towards, I would have to abandon. I loved Gale, but to ask that of me—I saw in that moment that he was too blinded by his own desires to understand the sacrifice he demanded, and the impossible expectations he was putting on me. On both of us, if I’m honest.” And he hated to even think about the alternative possibility, but if he was ever going to allow himself enough cynicism to voice it outloud, it might as well be in the presence of the exile Minthara. “Or. There’s always the possibility that he’d actually grown arrogant enough to think he could defy Ao and just… get away with it. In which case, he would have condemned us both to a fate of going to war with the gods and dying ignominiously. For what? I don’t want to be a god, and I never needed him to be one either. He was the one who decided it was a prerequisite to our just… being together.”

“To your first set of excuses, I would say you are being too generous,” Minthara narrowed her gaze at him and took a deep breath before she said, “but to your second, darker accusations, I think you are being too harsh. Gale may be arrogant, but he is also highly intelligent. Intentionally defying Ao would be very stupid indeed.”

“Not like defying devils.”

“Not at all,” Minthara grinned wickedly. “Devils live to be defied. That’s why they’re all so tolerant of coups in the hells. But the denizens of the heavens demand obedience, loyalty, deference, and they are not forgiving of defiance.”

Wyll found he felt better. Just having said all that outloud had made the tension between his shoulders loosen. For all her blatant tolerance of every evil, Minthara’s particular brand of judgment certainly left one feeling anything but judged. 

“Karlach was worried for you. As she would be. She saw your pain and wanted to make it better for you. But I was…. Proud of you. For whatever that’s worth. The choice was between pain, or lies. You would not live in a delusion, though it may have been very pleasant for a while.”

~

Yeah, basically that. You can argue he might be encouraging you to become his equal, but it could just as easily be framed as him requiring you to become such, in order to be worthy of being with him, and at no small personal cost.

[puckpocketed]

Tagged a millennia ago by @dijkstraspath and @cataroo sorry this was obliterated from my mind at the time </3

✨ noº1 team?

No number 1 team. I am a fickle creature whose heart is easily swayed by narratives!! My beloved teams, plural, are the Sharks, Kraken, Ducks, Wild, and recently the VGK! We have a soft spot a mile wide for losers and girlfailures. I am easily bamboozled by Antics and Shenanigans. Assume no teams are safe from my love. I always say: I have NO enemies in ice hockey except the refs/situation room <3

🥅 your favourite goalie?

My whole heart belongs to the oppressed goalie tandems on basement tier teams (Gibson/Dostal, Kahkonen/Blackwood, Soderblom/Mrazek)

Fav goalie to watch, who will always have a place in my heart? Joey Daccord! He has anime-protagonist levels of skill and he is a joy to watch in net. Truly creative, proactive, and unique. I see him going very far.

🔟 what would be your jersey number?

17! For the first two serial numbers of the Enterprise NCC-1701

🏒 what team would you love to play for?

PWHL New York, because women+teal <3

❤️‍🔥 who is your favourite player currently?

Thinking endlessly about Brock Faber. Girlies (gn) know I’ve been writing an essay about him for like a month, which has blossomed into something well beyond the scope of what I originally wanted to write.

👀 a trade that hurt you emotionally?

I haven’t been around ice hockey long enough for a trade to hurt me yet, but I’m not unfamiliar with trade heartbreak!

I have been in esports for years, and the first trade that fucked me up was support player ArK getting traded from the New York Excelsior to the Washington Justice. It was 5 years ago, the meta had shifted away from ArK’s best heroes, and the bombshell dropped on twitter. I was devastated. The NYXL core had been together through so much, I thought. They existed pre-Overwatch League, as LW Blue and LW Red. They were a family.

They reunited, briefly, during OWL All-Stars, and every moment of it hurt. ArK retired in 2020 after leading the Washington Justice to the North American Division Playoffs, where they came 3rd.

Many such trades and team implosions happened after ArK, but you never forget your first! 

🌈 what is your experience on hockeyblr so far?

Pretty amazing! I wrote a whole love letter to the kraken, sharks tag has some very funny characters who are very unserious about everything but very lovingly devoted to our losers, I’m too shy to talk in the wild tag too often but I hope this changes, the ducks tag is a wasteland populated by me and maybe 2 other people and we never seem to be blogging at the same time, and the one (1) person currently active in the vegas tag is quite possibly the sweetest person alive (!!!) they’ve been so excited to tell me about them, to welcome me and share their love!!!

The PWHL holds a very very dear place in my heart, I feel very tender and protective about it so I’m pretty quiet — but when I do venture into the tag it’s been a fun time!!!

I am putting out tentative feelers for the AIHL and the handful of people who’ve chimed in to show their support has been incredibly heartening and I look forward to writing propaganda for them when the time comes!!! <3

tag people you'd like to know these about ☺️🏒🖤

its. way way way way too late to be doing this but i guess im reviving the meme! absolutely feel no pressure to participate: @wehaveagathering @puckinggoalies @skybluerin @ppepohappy @belowthedepths if you'd like to participate consider yourself tagged by me!

[nyhti]

Can I ask for Jeremiah Arkham (my beloved!) headcanons? (If you are so inclined)

TBH your blog is the thing that has made me stan these old men 🤧😰

Haha. Okay. Sorry this took literally like a month and a half lol. It is what it is. I'm glad my blog has been able to make people care about characters that imo don't get enough love <333 And I'm flattered people want to hear my takes on them!

So, yeah, I figured I could write about Jeremiah's trauma, but first let's clear some things up, or otherwise this might be a confusing essay.

Firstly, my Jerry takes only from Alan Grant's Jerry. I don't like how anyone else wrote him. Neither do I really like how even Grant started writing him later on. Jerry has a surprisingly good character arc from The Last Arkham (Batman: Shadow of the Bat #1-4 (1992)) to Madmen Across the Water (Showcase 94' #3-4). After that though, it felt like Grant no longer knew what he wanted to do with the character and even went backwards on the progress the character had made, which to a reader was incredibly disappointing.

So in a nutshell: my Jeremiah is morally most like he was in Madmen Across the Water, personality wise most like he was in The Last Arkham, and sprinkled in are some traits and fun little facts from later issues by Grant.

And when it comes to Arkham Asylum itself, I go with pre-crisis Arkham, even thought Jeremiah is a post-crisis character. I just don't like any edgy torture chamber version of Arkham. Arkham is not a perfect place by any means, but in my verse, the staff actually tries to do good. Think of the Arkham we see in Super Powers #1 (1984). That's my Arkham.

I will also be touching on the history of Arkham Asylum and Amadeus Arkham in this one a bit and for that please keep in mind that I do not like Grant Morrison's writing. My Arkham/Amadeus lore is based on Who's Who: The Definitive Directory of the DC Universe #1 (1985), with some changes made. The only thing I take from Batman: Arkham Asylum (1989) are the names Constance and Harriet and Morrison's headcanon that Amadeus wrote a journal. Also, Amadeus is still alive in my verse lol. You can guesstimate from Who's Who that Amadeus lived to about his 70s, so he really should still be alive during his nephew's time as director. Might write about how that affects Jerry in my verse someday.

So. With all of that out of the way. The flashback from Shadow of the Bat #1. The trauma something like that would leave you with was left unexplored in the story so of course I wanted to explore it in my verse.

I think there is a period of calm right after the incident. It's like nothing ever happened. Like everything is fine. It's not, of course. Jeremiah just hasn't yet even began to process what happened and once he finally does, it all comes back. He has flashbacks that leave him vomiting on the floor, he has nightmares that leave him shaking in cold sweat. He starts to develop these new fears. He begins to fear being in places like stores, or anywhere with a lot of people around that he doesn't know. He becomes more vary of strangers in general. He will eye at their clothes and bags and wonder if they could be hiding weapons. You might think he could avoid facing these fears if he just stays at home, but no. Even in the quiet of his own room, they keep him company. He has this new goal in life, he has this dream career ahead that he starts to feverishly study to reach, but every time his parents leave to run errands, it seems impossible to concentrate on his books, as he fears his parents won't make it home. And the worst thing is, that he is afraid of being afraid. He is afraid and ashamed of his behavior and feelings. He feels he has to hide it all. He lies to his parents that he is fine and even though his parents can see through it all, they choose to believe the lie rather than get their son help. Why? We are going to have to talk about my headcanons for his father and for the whole Arkham family.

Just for a moment, think about it all from Jeremiah's father's perspective. First, your own mother's mental health starts to decline. Then, your dreamer brother tells you he is going to re-open the asylum that has brought nothing but shame on the family name. Years later, your brother's wife and young daughter are murdered by a man who is later admitted to Arkham Asylum. Sometime later this man dies in an "accident" under your brother's watch and you have your suspicions. You then begin to witness your brother's mental health slowly decline until he is admitted to his own asylum. This tarnishes the family name even further and now even people you've known your entire life wonder if you could be next. Years later your only child is nearly killed by an escaped patient from Arkham.

He needed a culprit for all that had happened. It couldn't have just been change, because how do you protect yourself, your family, against change? You can't. In order to feel like he could protect his son, he needed something more tangible to blame. He was faced with tragedy after tragedy and it all tied down to this one place - Arkham Asylum and it's patients. The answer was clear. The culprit would be mental illness and the asylum that was full of it. He convinced himself if he could keep his son away from the asylum, from mentally ill people and from mental illness itself, he would remain safe.

When Constance and Harriet were still alive, Jeremiah and his parents would visit the asylum often. It was like a second home to them. During these times, he never had an issue with a single patient. He would even talk to them sometimes and found them to be perfectly fine people. He simply chose to forget every positive interaction he had had with a patient for an easy culprit. He could not put his son in therapy, because that would mean that he is mentally unwell, and therefore in danger.

Of course Jeremiah, being that he was only a child and that he had already faced judgment from his peers at school for his last name, would adopt his father's beliefs. In canon, Jeremiah freely tells Batman about his gift of how he can see into madness. In my verse, he would not. He never understood just exactly what it all was and how it had happened, but he knew he could not tell anyone, because they might think he imaged it all. If mental illness is the worst thing that can happen to a person, then any odd behavior or beliefs are to be seen as threats. Being able to suddenly see into a man's mind and learn everything that had ever happened to him definitely counted as odd to Jeremiah 16 years old. He never told anyone that detail until- oh, I'm skipping ahead.

Time does start to heal Jeremiah's wounds. Little by little, he would start to feel more at ease in public places. He would learn ways to treat himself when he began to specialize in psychiatry, but the lack of support meant he still carried the trauma around. It would still come back to him in nightmares during times of stress.

In my verse, he is also a psychotherapist and I don't know how it is in the rest of the world, but at least in Finland, to become a psychotherapist, you need to go through psychotherapy yourself and, oh boy. Oh man. Jerry in therapy? Dr. Jerry ”HOW DARE YOU QUESTION MY SANITY?!” Arkham in therapy? That could be a topic for an essay of it's own, but let's try to keep it short. I'm not sure just how easily you could lie in therapy like that, but if it is possible, Jeremiah would be lying the entire time. He's just so damn scared that if he says one thing wrong, they are not going to give him his license or worse, they are going to lock him up. Jeremiah could possibly get away with not mentioning the incident at the store, because the therapist wouldn't know about that, if Jeremiah himself doesn't bring it up. The tale of his uncle, on the other hand, is public knowledge in my verse and the therapist would definitely ask how that affected Jeremiah. He would have to talk about his family trauma to some degree, but might get away not mentioning any personal trauma. Either way, he does get his license. I think the therapist might be able to tell Jeremiah didn't tell them everything, but ultimate, they would see he's not ”crazy”, just very anxious. And working at Arkham would not make his anxieties any better.

Every day is like walking a tightrope. Everything could be so nice and calm for days and just one little slip up could send the whole asylum into chaos. Even though my version of Arkham is not edgy, even though it's not some spoopy mega prison with 20 casualties everyday, you still have to stay on alert. Jeremiah especially, being he's the one in charge of the whole show. He knows that you could be having the most normal, most boring day of your life and then a heart beat later have someone threaten your life. Just like at the store.

It's the uncertainty of life at Arkham that makes him have such a need for control. He needs to know exactly what is happening and where at all times to feel safe and weirdly enough, he does. He feels safe at Arkham. More safe than anywhere in the world, even though many would call it the unsafest place in the city. It's safe for Jeremiah, because he's in charge. He holds all the strings. If someone so much as farts in the staff locker room, he'll have a written report on it on his desk in 15 minutes. It's outside where he feels afraid.

He doesn't venture out a lot. He is a workaholic. He did use to have a social life, but little by little, he just stopped staying in contact with friends when work consumed his life. It's gotten to the point where all that progress he made all those years ago to be comfortable in public spaces has faded away. Really, spending every waking moment at Arkham has made it worse. He could be at a clothing store trying on new shirts, but his mind is still at Arkham. He's constantly looking around for threads. He's eyeing the place trying to see how much security there is. Could that person be hiding a gun under that coat? What are the best possible exict routes if worse comes to pass? He can see threats everywhere, but he cannot do anything about it. He has no control here. He's definitely having a panic attack at aisle 9.

Obviously all staff at Arkham need to be aware at all times, but Jonathan, being the Master of Fear and all, would notice that Jeremiah is far more vigilant than the others. Now, Jonathan is not physically a threat at all. (I'm going with pre-crisis Jonathan so no ”violent dancing”, this man cannot throw a punch to save his life.) And while Jeremiah is obviously not strong either, he's definitely been to a self-defense class or two in his time. What I'm trying to say here, is that Jeremiah could defeat Jonathan in a fight any day. This became crystal clear to Jonathan the first time he snuck up behind Jeremiah and whispered ”boo” in his ear. Suddenly he found himself face down on the floor with Jeremiah on top of him before he could even realize what was happening. Jonathan began to suspect Jeremiah's behavior wasn't just normal ”you have to be vigilant in this job” behavior, but rather something more.

I'm not going to go into detail about my arcrane headcanons here or we'd be here all day, but to keep it short, Jonathan becomes the first person, 28 years after the event, that Jeremiah opens up to. First person he actually tells the whole story to. It's at that time that he is finally able to truly heal from it all.

[anyablackwood]

WIP Questionnaire Tag

Thanks for the tag, @mysticstarlightduck! I'll use Traveling Bards for this, as is the current trend for me.

1. What’s the first part of your WIP that you created?

The outline? That's usually how I start. If you mean of the actual story, then chapter 1. If you mean the concept itself, the characters.

2. If your story was a TV show, what would the theme song/intro be?

Best I can find is Passerine by The Oh Hellos (the artists who made Solider, Poet, King). I'd love to find a more comedic/energetic song, though.

3. What are your favorite characters that you made? Why?

Within this story? The MCs, lol. Especially Felix, my beloved son! I'm not gonna lie, the sisters are inspired by some IRL people that I love very much. But even without that, they're just so fun! This is my first "simple"/comedy story, so there's less of a focus on prose or "depth" and more on me just dicking around with these guys, so I'm really having a blast with them. Their characters are the most unhinged I've written so far, though I hope to change that soon.

Felix isn't inspired by an IRL person, but he's kind of shameless wish-fulfillment. Traveling Bards initially began as a parody of a very specific genre of anime, so he's essentially what I wish would happen/what I love to see for characters with his archetype.

For the favorites of all time? Can't choose, honestly. Love all of them!

4. What other pieces of media do you think your fanbase would share?

Memes. Or, I'd hope so. If it ever got adapted, I'd love a compilation video or funny edits. Regardless? Endless shitposts, sprinkled with random and unwarranted brainrot thesis-long thinkpieces on elements of my characters and world-building that I never even considered when writing it that ultimately change the way even I view my characters. I'd love a good Tumblr essay from someone being Totally Normal about one of my funky little guys.

5. What has been your biggest struggle with your WIP?

Actually writing it! Lmao. For the 3 people that have seen my writing logs, you'd know I had to recently overhaul the entire initial arc as well as the 3 chapters I already wrote! Though I guess plot points would also be part of that struggle.

6. Are there any animals in your story? Talk about them!

All kinds! Anything from normal animals to classic fantasy ones to ones I personally made up! My favorite out of all of them are the dragons. Because dragons are fucking awesome. My second favorite are the ones I made myself.

One of the first ones I introduce is the "crystal frog" which is this really cute frog that's quite literally translucent- kind of like the glass frog, but even more translucent! And light refracts off of it like a crystal!

7. How do your characters travel/get around?

Carriage/horse most often at first, then eventually via ship, then flying (with magic or on a magic creature). So. Basically anything but a plane or car.

8. What part of your WIP are you working on right now?

Actually writing it! I'm currently only a few chapters in on my first rough draft. My goal is to create the entire rough draft with as few edits as possible and then to go back and revise the whole thing, since that'll be easier for me than trying to make each chapter "perfect" before I move on.

9. What aspects (tropes, maybe?) You think will draw your audience in?

I guess for those that are more familiar with this genre, it'll be that. Isekais/reincarnation/transmigration/portal fantasy/whatever you want to call it. It's also got found family and friendship (kinda spoiler-y, but there's a sibling adoption involved!). Lots of "be gay, do crime" instances too.

It's also primarily an adventure-comedy, with a kinda parody-angle to it. They're intentionally gunning for these classic Hero Adventure experiences, in a bucket-list kind of way. Also, they're bards (for lack of a more accurate and snappy term) in a fantasy setting. So if you like a heavy emphasis on a sibling bond and ridiculous people getting into ridiculous situations of their own making, I'm hoping this will be appealing!

10. What are your hopes for your WIP?

That it gets finished, LMAO. My goal is to complete the rough draft by the end of summer, so that I can spend fall and winter revising, rewriting, editing, etc. I eventually hope (like most writers) to one day publish it. But let's not get ahead of ourselves! I can't get there if I don't even finish it.

Not sure who to tag, so I'll come back to it later.

[boolger]

9 People You Want to Know Better

thank you for tagging me @stellewriites !!<3

three ships: Angus Macgyver x Jack Dalton x Dennis Murdoc (Macgyver 2016), Poly! taskforce 141 (COD), Kate Laswell x me reader

first ship: hmmmm, to be honest, I'm not sure but i think its Phil Coulson x Clint Barton from Marvel. That or the good ol' Tony stark x Steve Rogers

last movie: Knives out. It's one of my favorite movies, lmao. Benoit Blanc my beloved.

last song: Maybe man by AJR, i cant explain why, but it just hits my brain right.

currently reading: books? nothing. I tried reading the recursion by blake crouch, but I got too scared (and i think it hit too hard w memory loss and alzheimers and such) but I want to finish it at some point.

currently watching: The Jinx. Gonna watch a documentary about the making of the movie The Da vinci code, bc i'm a nerd and i wrote an essay about the whole thing in university.

currently eating: uh, nothing, but i'm sipping apricot soda. But I will be eating instant noodles soon bc im a 27 year old woman.

currently craving: sushi. but money... and i'm unemployed lol. i need a job or a sugarmommy.

no pressure for any of yall!! @rosieblogstuff @onebigfangirlworld @appalachianapologies @rojemacyarn @kyletogaz @glossysoap ((i know im supposed to tag 9 people but i get shy and afraid im annoying, sorry, also ignore this tag if u dont wanna answer<3))

[atherix]

hiii!!!

idk if you still remember me um. i feel so silly writing this be its been such a long time since i last wrote you any asks and i feel so bad ugshshsg:( but its essay anon here :3 im so so sorry i havent been here in such a long time but my life has been crazy. recently but im alive and well now. ready to talk about the midnight series if youll still have me... ive actually been meaning to write this for some time but ive been so anxious about the fact that its been so long:( im literally writing this in a break between classes at my uni LMAO. but i couldnt wait i had to write now be im rereading the series and ill explode (/pos) if i dont

im reading everything again bc i missed some updates and i decided. might as well reread the whole thing! and oh boy i love your writing so much!!! and this series makes me so happy seriously, some life stuff has been tough for me recently but this is bringing me so much joy :3 i need to let you know this hehhe .

and ohhh midnight scar how i missed him..... hes everything to me seriously:( i can talk abt him for hours i love him so much!!! im at midnights past now so ill fully catch up soon but im fighting the urge to get up and jump around my room in happiness everytime scar and tubbo have a wholesome interaction . i love them so so much

ill probably write something longer tonight when i get home but i just had the urge to write out all my thoughts now, i hope im still welcome here even though its been so long :( i want to write my thoughts about the later parts of the series if youre willing to hear them . i know im extremely late but better late than never right!!

but as always i hope youve been doing alright!! im sending you all my good energy im hugging you through my phone right now . :3 this is probably the shortest message ive ever written LMAO but youll hear from me soon again!!

ESSAY ANON!!!! :o I think about you often in fact <3 I'm so glad to hear everything's alright, even if hectic! Of course you're always welcome here, I love hearing from you <3 Never apologize for prioritizing real life, always take as much time as you need and you can always pop in whenever you want <3

🥺 rereading?? Oh I love when people reread 🥺 I'm so hhhhh <3 I'm so glad my writing can bring you joy during a difficult time!! <3

Midnight Scar my beloved.... I will not lie to you or anyone, Midnights Past was 100% my excuse to write fluffy DadScar and SonTubbo 🥺 I thrive off wholesome interactions between them two honestly hhhh This also means you have not reached... mmm I am looking forward to your reaction to Midnight Alley :)

Oh you're always welcome here, Essay Anon, no expiration date <3 I'm so happy to hear from you again! I would love to hear your thoughts going forward, I always loved your little essays <3 It's never too late to ramble about fic!! You're also in time to join the angry mob that will probably come for my life soon-

Thank you!! <3 I hope everything gets better for you, Essay Anon, I'm so glad to know you're still around!! :D I'm sure I will hehe <3 I'll be here :D Well I might be at work but you know what I mean <3

[garden-bug]

ABOUT ME 🐞🦟🐛🪲🐜🪳🦋🪰🦗🐝

I am garden-bug and you can refer to me as such. I love bugs big and small but mostly big (unless I have a microscope handy which I literally don't guys I don't have a microscope). My favourite insects are praying mantids or ants and I have written too many essays that talk about ant symbolism.

I am a literature student and literature analysis is not my degree it is my lifestyle.

I am multi fandom. I will list fandoms I engage with, my takes and my fics below:

Star Wars

OG Trilogy: Amazing incredible

Prequels: Flawed but culturally relevant

Sequels: 💀💀

The Mandalorian: Seasons 1 & 2 changed my life but none as much as season 3 which I was so appalled by that I spent the summer of 2023 rewriting

Ahsoka: 💀💀

Thrawn 1st 2 trilogies: Literally space Sherlock Holmes I love the Thrawn trilogies (haven't read the original yet I know shock horror but idt I'd cope)

Clone Wars: Very cool, Ahsoka my beloved. Darth Maul.

Anything not mentioned I either haven't seen, abhorred, or forgot what happened in.

My other takes:

New Star Wars is kinda… trash??

I do not like Dave Filoni's writing or his mando-verse or whatever he's calling it.

Ezra and Thrawn space adventures forever in our hearts 💔

Thrawn is an anti-villain guys.

Ships:

I wish I could ship Shin x Sabine but I've seen brick walls with more chemistry.

Thranto

DINLUKE!!!

My Fics:

Mandalorian S3 (+ Ahsoka series rewrite):

Force-school crack fic:

One Piece

I am on WATER SEVEN! I love Franky with my whole life and Iceberg is a beautiful man. Finished Dressrosa for Doflamingo and Law and Corazon. I cried. I’m kind of skipping around honestly because I’ve pretty much had everything spoiled I just pick an episode and go.

Ships

Zolu and Lawlu on the aroace spectrum my beloved 💞💞

Not been convinced by Zosan...

FROBIN!!

Oh my god dofuwani

Other takes:

I LOVE OPLA! It stole my heart. OPLA cast my beloved. So good. Amazing. Even my mum loved it.

Yes it’s a little different to the manga/anime and misses some details, but I think it does a brilliant job for what it is, capturing the essence of One Piece and making it more accessible to a wider audience. You would not catch my mum watching the anime that’s all I’m saying.

Crocodad/Crocomom is real idc

The one piece is real

My fics:

This was meant to be a silly genderbend dofuwani fic but it derailed significantly. Now it’s like 30k, Croco’s got a traumatic backstory, Luffy abandonment complex origin story *spoilers: crocomom*, Doffy has some gender realisations, fem dofuwani has taken over my brain like a fungus, it’s also somehow just really really fun to write.

Death Note

I don't interact with this fandom much because my takes are shaped by my AU so I literally relate to nothing. Death Note has be in a constant choke-hold just always like it’s always there in the back of my mind. I think it made me who I am. Uhh help.

Ships:

Not a lawlight shipper. Light was mean and evil and L deserved better 11yr old me was distraught and my feelings have never changed.

L x Lola (OC)

In my AU Near and Mello are raised as siblings so their ship kinda freaks me out.

Idc abt Matt I never even wrote him into my fic (rip).

Mello x Halle my beloved. I love when two bisexuals fall in love.

Other takes:

The manga is better.

The anime deserves a re-adaptation??

Near is my absolute favourite fictional character ever (genuinely do not know why huh) he is so annoying and I adore him.

Mello didn't die what L and Lola saved him.

My Fics:

I wrote this when I was 12 but it is the basis for my AU and deserves all the honorary mentions:

Jujutsu Kaisen

WHAT THE FUCK -

My fics:

Cosy one-shots basically:

Bungou Stray Dogs

Chaos shambled disarray that somehow I enjoy.

Pisses me off but it has its moments.

Ships:

Sokoku is my all time absolute favourite ship ever of all time. Yeah no it still is I just checked.

My fics:

Dazai and Chuuya get hit by a tsunami oh no they have to face their tumultuous feelings for each other (spiral) and accidentally adopt/rescue a small child:

Ninjago

JUMP UP KICK BACK WHIP AORUND AN D SHPIN -

I love Ninjago. Lloyd my beloved. Zane is me fr.

Ships:

Jaya

Zane/Pixal

Kai/Skylor

Llorumi is a NO Harumi is an irredeemable monster and you cannot convince me otherwise. My sweet Lloyd deserves better.

I don't ship any of the ninja with each other ESPECIALLY not with Lloyd the age thing is a mess.

Images used in the ninjago memes are from Pinterest and saved to this board under the ‘I’m gonna make memes’ section: https://pin.it/4rN3gIj

[insectsinsects]

December is always really vivid to me. I hadn't had a memorable July till this year but winter months seem to carry everything and more about a year. Maybe to it's detriment? It's overwhelmed with thoughts and greetings and travel and metamorphosis? I wonder if those guys who don't use the Gregorian calendar are forced to feel it too. Just the majority of people worrying and smiling and maybe it's a regular Tuesday for them?

Anyway 6 Decembers ago was my first Christmas away from home. I'd spent the summer carelessly and I was tired from boarding school. I think I've always been reckless and volatile, though I feel I am perceived as a stable element. Careless summer was spent driving around my hometown with a funny girl who I knew from choir and we were twitter mutuals. The brutal semester was spent with a person who'd patiently sit down with me and share the ways in which they loved physics. And of course, my parents came down and I hadn't been 4 months separated from them but I was used to their presence after 16 years so it was actually nice.

5 Decembers ago I was unknowingly allied with a future friend's enemy O_O She'd sit on my couch in my dorm and played the role of a wise confidant, as an upperclassman. I hope nothing was ever malicious but oomf did come to hate her next semester for fine reasons so? 😭 Her birthday is tomorrow, and I've always remembered that Saggitarian... And honestly by sometime that year I had begun avoiding physics person (on brand..) and I wrote a time capsule email about it (to myself in 5 year's time!) because I didn't have a blog and because I wanted to see if I could possibly get over it (I did!!!) I was a bit afraid of spotty wifi in the Philippines, so I submitted college apps 3 weeks early LMAO Victoria was waiting on a job offer from her boss who we'd come to learn was a little terribe, but that same night she was confirmed and moved to DC a week after we came back from that trip to the motherland.

4 Decembers ago?! I had met the newest crop of friends I was going to make. New York was so fun. Everything endless and memorable. Flying back used to be tough! They only introduced nonstop flights to Oklahoma like last year😑 But I flew out early and away from my beloved suitemates, my terrible roommate, my friends on other floors, classmate-turned-oomf, and so much more.

3 Decembers ago I'd been attending a different university since NYU was being stingy😭 OU actually treated me so well omg and my classes were fun. I guess by December I was wrapping up but I took a class on film music and I would joyously write an essay about some movie music each week and my professor just littered it with happy comments. I think she was glad I read the textbook and was enthused to learn. Also two weeks later, I got my whole head bleached and my hair was pretty long (not really, but Rapunzel-like to ME and probably if you've only ever known me with a bob/wolfbob). Also (2) I was in the Gensh*n pits (I don't want it in the tags...)

2 Decembers ago! My sister and her now husband were engaged and the three of us went on a mini-roadtrip to Dallas 😭 I like Garrett, he's like if a father figure was considerate... and Kathryn's got 17 years of light parentification on her belt ☠️ Garrett and I got XL Blizzards from DQ and almost died finishing them. Oh they also saw me get my roots done :O Barber cut it way too short but maybe it was cute. Junior year was so funny and cute💖 I worked hard and I was back home pretty late due to a stats final (Bombed)

Last December I spent my last week with my last set of randomized roommates and my friends! This was a funny time of year. I did a crazy amount that last week and in many ways it was a bender (Avatar in 4D cocktail☠️) but I do know oomf (yes you!) was the last person I saw. We played Minecraft on your Xbox after I obtained a second controller over Thanksgiving. We drank tall boys? I checked into my flight easily and I went home anxiously. I wonder if I could've seriously applied to school back then (Because it was lowkey not that serious lol) [actually I should be forced to reckon with my tantrums and the many times per week I was like IT'S OVER..] but I hadn't applied to school! And I was nervous to tell my parents that though I was a big investment, I was a failure. I cut my bangs too short on December 18 and hid it under a hat for a week till it grew a little more. I felt weird having red hair in Oklahoma, though it was cool to my contemporaries? My mom was sad knowing how much grief the thoughts were causing me. She told me I should rely on her more and talk to her. It's taken me all of the ensuing year to really be good about that advice. It's just easier to fail myself. I had tunnel vision— the potential for shame was only accompanied by a sense of pity and contempt. I genuinely couldn't believe my family would continue loving me. I drank with my dad so we wouldn't talk about anything real, and I painted with my mother to divert from the chaos.

[effervescentdragon]

Now I want your words on Sewis <3

oh. well. i save this one bcs i was too drugged yday to be coherent, i have just made coffee, tho im stil soooo tired ugh. coffee my beloved <3 also joana my beloved <3

fundamental understanding? i dont know they are just. they have been racing together for like, over fifteen years. since they were both cocky kids with too much talent. and like. god i dont know. i find them like. okay so you know how i went insane and wrote 2k essay about how nico and seb are the same person in different font, and you know how the whole brocedes thing went down? i just think that with seb lewis like, he saw that you can have a healthy relationship. they both said something clicked in 2017, after seb hit lewis in baku. after he actually apologized and took responsibility for that. and i like to think lewis was like hm. okay. so this guy is ready to say im sorry. ready to admit fault. i dont know how not to appreciate this. and seb didnt win, i think that is also very important. seb didnt win in ferrari, and lewis kept winning, and im not sure how that impacted them, but i think it forced seb, the youngest world champion ever, to reasses whats important to him and realize all sorts of things about the power imbalances and discrimination in f1 and grow up a lot. and maybe he realized what it was like for lewis. character development, baby. so lewis is settled here, seb isnt. i dont know, i just think theyre like. soft. always in each others orbit. honest men? they are from the same generation and they are both smart and theyve both went through hardships and i just think they really understand each other. they have respect for each other, as men, as competition, on every level. and thats. thats just very appealing.

i may not be making much sense now either but like. this is all that brain can produce on the first coffee. <3

[thefabulousfab-3]

*Starting my own post because I hate adding onto tag game posts.

List 5 books that made you The Way You Are (got this idea from another old post). You don't have to explain why if it's cringe/too personal, but I'm curious about how old you were when you read it, if you're comfortable adding that!

I was tagged by @daydreamingandprocrastination thank you! 💗

1. The True Confessions of Charlotte Doyle (I think I was like 11 when I first read this). I was absolutely OBSESSED with this book and desperately wanted to have my own “pirate” adventure. I literally read this book all the time.

2. Beloved by Toni Morrison. I was 17, I read this book as a senior in high school and I honestly think everyone should read it. It’s absolutely heartbreakingly beautiful, it’s extremely difficult to read at parts, and when I finished it I just sat there letting what I read sink in.

3. The hunger Games. I was 13 (I think) when I first read these books and they consumed my whole brain until I was well into high school. I actually wrote an essay about the hunger games for my AP lit class.

4. Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë I read this when I was about 15. It’s amazing, I am actually planning on rereading this soon.

5. Educated by Tara Westover. I read this when I was 23. It is one of my all time favorite memoirs and I highly recommend it to everyone.

Tagging @basiltonpitch @the-paris-of-people @montygreen

[daz4i]

Top 5 pearsonas… or smt demons 🐈‍⬛

ehehe thank you >:D!!!

1. satanael my beloved. wrote a whole essay about him that i'm still fighting for my life to start recording and eventually turn into a youtube video. i can give you a whole lecture about the mythology behind him (tho that's true for everyone on this list probably. his would just be most detailed). gameplay wise he is unparalleled to me. best boy

2. dominion 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 i can't explain it they're just so Neat to me <3 also best design by far imo ^o^

3. helel!!!!! another wonderful design, one of my favorites, but this one's also good gameplay wise lol. i think he was my endgame persona in p4. i also love that he was in the margaret battle in the anime bc it's like, my favorite episode of anything ever

4. metatron. my biblical blorbo. gotta hang out with akechi to get him. i think making him (+sandalphon) a robot was so cool and is one of the reasons i started researching who he even is. i don't use him a lot bc there's other bless personas i prefer gameplay wise but i like having him in my arsenal for emotional support uwu

5. another one that wins bc of his design. baal my beloved. they didn't have to go this hard with him but i'm glad they did. also i love using him for wind attacks and such he's fun :D

send some top 5/top 10 asks?

[infinitelytheheartexpands]

since i am at home and have access to my yearbooks, it is now time for the roundup of “some of my favorite quotes from people’s yearbook signatures”, a non-exhaustive list:

2010-11 (3rd grade):

-“have a great summer savvanah”—kid in my class who spelled my name wrong lmao

2011-12 (4th grade):

-“your the most legendary person i have ever met”—one of my besties to this day

2012-13 (5th grade):

-“when the world looks down on you, give them 5 and a half reasons to look up at you. you are brilliant. you are a good person. never lose that. never stop dominating.” —one of the then-high school juniors for some reason (i got signatures and messages from SEVERAL juniors and seniors that year for some reason lmao)

-“too bad”—a kid in my class

*could not find 2013-14 :(*

2014-15 (7th grade):

-“stay cool and rock on with those dance moves and work on skating”—another kid who was in our production of xanadu, where i successfully campaigned with the director to not make everyone rollerskate because some of us (myself included) could not rollerskate

-“the cat whiskers come from within”—a girl in the grade below me with whom i am still buddies

-“you are the smartest person i know and don’t let anyone take that away from you”—my now IRL best friend, the first year after he moved to our school, and this was even though at the time we were in the middle of an INTENSE academic rivalry that put a damper on our friendship for a while

2015-16 (8th grade):

-every single kid who wrote HAGS!!! (have a great summer) because it’s funny <3

-“you have been happy when i have been sad so uh…thanks for always cheering me up with just a smile”—a kid in the grade below me

-“savannah, it is really fun having you in the class and i hope we got the party started for you every english class!”—the same kid who spelled my name wrong in 3rd grade; every day at the start of english class i’d say “let’s get this party started!”

2016-17 (9th grade):

-“…you’ll have to come check in and draw me more memes!”—my 9th grade history teacher, context being that she pitted all the kids in my grade against each other in a year-long history meme war and i, being a dumbass, did not know how to make memes online using generators and shit, so i HAND DREW all of my memes on her board and she would take pictures for my entries (for the record: i did not win)

-“this is a good yearbook. you are a good person. have a good summer.”—one of my guy friends in my class

-“we’re gonna need you in quiz bowl. also how is this handwriting.”—another guy in my class; the reference to the handwriting was because we had to proofread each other’s handwritten essay drafts in english class and i straight up could not read like half of his and he got PISSED as a result

2017-18 (10th grade):

-“dear savannah, have a great summer! read lots of books and eat lots of food because those things make you happy and happiness is great.”—one of my friends in my class, also that is sound advice

-“*sine graph* there, i sined it.”—my precalculus teacher

-“i am ‘cosining’ it.”—the same kid who wrote the handwriting comment the previous year; written directly under the previous signature

-“savannah, mashed potatoes…”—the bestie who wrote the “legendary” comment in 4th grade; the whole message was much longer but we had an inside joke going about how i’m super-picky about my mashed potatoes lol

2018-19 (11th grade):

-“you are just the sweetest little ol’ thang”—one of my friends in my class

-“thanks for making this a great year. you’ve always been so nice to me. never forget that no matter what, you have a good heart, don’t forget that!”—one of the seniors that year; we were in all the musicals and choir together for a few years

-“stay frosty! your joy for life is special, don’t ever let anyone diminish it. change the world.”—a beloved history teacher who moved away after that school year

*no signatures for 2019-20 because COVID :(*