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gimmethatagustd · 2 months

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wanna stream a porno | kth

At this point, attempting to deny that you have feelings for Taehyung is laughable. Even his subscribers can sense the chemistry between the two of you.

○ Pairing: Dom!Taehyung x Sub!Reader

○ Rating: Explicit/18+

○ Genre: Frenemies to lovers, sex work, fluff (?), smut

○ Word Count: 4,846

○ Warnings: Sex work (cam), MC uses they/them pronouns, Tae refers to MC as bunny and bun - aka rope bunny which is the term for the person being tied up in a shibari scene, bdsm, bondage, impact play, spanking, use of degrading language - that isn't actually meant to be mean, voyeurism, exhibition kink, Tae makes MC call him daddy so they won't dox him lmfao but it's not a kink - he's doing it as a joke to tease MC, blow job, vaginal fingering, sex toys, crying during sex, subspace/dropping, unprotected vaginal sex, forced orgasms, overstimulation, squirting, implied aftercare

○ Notes: HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY, BESTIES 🫦 I hope you enjoy the final installment of The Wannabe-Photographer Chronicles! Photographer Tae will be missed 💔 I definitely did not proofread this, so abandon all hope, ye who enter! My brain is literally broken.

○ Post Date: February 14, 2024

○ Masterlist | AO3 Crosspost

○ What was Jai listening to? One Of The Girls (Sped Up) - The Weeknd, JENNIE, Lily-Rose Depp

The Wannabe-Photographer Chronicles (mini-series) Masterlist

“Too tight?” Taehyung murmurs against the curve of your ear, his breath tickling your neck.

It’s embarrassing how your body reacts to the sound of his low, velvety voice. You'd snorted when Taehyung first told you that people on the internet paid money to listen to his dirty talk and watch him jerk off. There was no fucking way; he had to be lying. You’d been sure of it.

But now…

Taehyung reaches around your body and tugs on the rope he’s just tied your wrists with. It looks rough, black, and twisted but smooth as it rubs against your skin when you move.

You shiver and shake your head, forgetting what you’d discussed earlier in the day until it’s too late. The smack to your ass stings, and you bite your bottom lip to keep from making any sound.

“What did I tell you, bun?” Taehyung asks softly, running his palm across the skin he just smacked. He squeezes your asscheek and jiggles it before removing his hand.

“I have to use my words,” you speak up like he told you to, even though your voice is hoarse with desire and nervousness. Because, fuck, are you nervous.

“Mhmm…” Taehyung hums in agreement, though he sounds distracted.

You can’t see him from where you kneel on the floor in his bedroom, but you can feel it when he gets up. If you wanted to, you could twist around to face him. It would be difficult, though, with how much of your body is tied up.

Taehyung spent at least twenty minutes carefully weaving intricate patterns against your naked skin, crossing the rope in what almost looks like a star formation across your back that wraps around to the front of your body, keeping your arms tied to your sides and your hands bound in front of you. The rope cages your chest like a harness and extends down to wrap around your legs, forcing you into a kneeling position and making you unable to straighten your legs.

It took you three weeks of practicing before Taehyung could fully tie you up without you going into a panic attack.

“It’s not too tight,” you announce after clearing your throat.

You watch as Taehyung circles your body until he stands in front of you. He reaches out to flick his middle finger against the underside of your chin, prompting you to tilt your head back to look up at him.

“My little rope bunny looks so pretty, all tied up for me,” Taehyung says with a sparkling grin that makes your whole body flush with heat.

“I want to tell you off so badly right now,” you hiss through gritted teeth. Your frustration only makes Taehyung’s grin widen.

“I bet you do. It’s a shame you can’t, but rules are rules.” Taehyung shrugs, not at all nonchalant in his mocking tone.

You close your eyes as he trails his finger down your throat and past your collarbones until he reaches one of your nipples. Usually, it would take more than a gentle brush of a fingertip against your nipple for you to feel aroused, but there’s something about being tied up that has heightened your senses. Every minor touch has your nerves sparking and fraying at the ends. Taehyung isn’t even doing anything, and you’re already wet and aching.

“Taehyung,” you do your best to sound steady and fail.

“Let me fix the cameras and figure out what I’m gonna wear, okay? I’ll be quick; I promise.”

Taehyung rearranged all the furniture in his bedroom to leave an open spot in the corner of the room where he set up cameras and photography lighting. His laptop rests on an end table nearby, the screen showing a mirrored image of you kneeling on the floor on a pale pink silk sheet, fluffy pillows surrounding you in a half-circle. It’s all very Y2K, softcore aesthetic – not what you’d expect from Taehyung. His followers are mostly young women, though, and he says he likes to play up his soft side for them.

It sounds ridiculous, but there’s something about being tied up in such a gentle environment that’s making your pussy throb.

Taehyung is quick, as he promised. He returns, shirtless and wearing a pair of black joggers to match the black rope wrapped around your body. You drag your eyes over his torso, admiring the flat plane of his abdomen and the swell of his pecs. Smooth – it’s the best word to describe Taehyung. His voice, body, and charisma when he murmurs sweet seductions in your ear are always so smooth.

When he catches you staring, Taehyung winks at you. It makes you flustered despite your desire to remain neutral, and you quickly look down to find something else to focus your attention on. In Taehyung’s hands is a long, rectangular purple box. He sets it down next to you on the floor and opens the lid.

You gasp when you see what’s inside.

“Taehyung…”

“It’s for later. Don’t worry about it,” Taehyung says softly, pressing his index finger against your parted lips to quiet you.

On instinct, you close your lips around Taehyung’s finger and suck it gently, swirling your tongue around it. Taehyung’s eyes flutter closed for a few seconds until he pulls his hand away.

“You’re such a slut.”

“Fuck you.”

You can’t help but grin when Taehyung sticks his tongue out at you. He’s an idiot, but you love it. You love him, maybe. To be determined.

Or never. Never is also fine.

“So… what the fuck is gonna happen now? I’m starting to cramp,” you complain as Taehyung messes around with his laptop.

“What?” Taehyung spins around quickly, nearly sending one of his floor lamps crashing when his elbow collides with the stand. “You’re in pain? Where? Let me loosen–”

“Oh my god, Taehyung, I’m fine. I just don’t feel like kneeling naked on the fucking floor while you dick around!”

With a snort, Taehyung turns his back on you.

“I’m just trying to take care of my little movie star, alright?”

The nickname, if that’s what you can even call it, makes your stomach flutter. It doesn’t matter that you’re trying your best to stay unaffected by Taehyung’s bullshit; Taehyung has you under his spell like he always does.

“I know what to say…” you insist with a pout, flexing your fingers. “Red for stop, yellow for slow down, green for good…”

It’s elementary, but all the prep Taehyung made you do leading up to this moment showed you how important having a system is, be it a random safe word or the colors. What you don’t want to tell Taehyung is how comforting the rope is. You don’t want him to have the satisfaction of knowing that you like being restrained. It’s like a tight embrace, and the rope causes goosebumps to spread across your body when its silkiness rubs against your skin every time you shift positions.

Watching you over his shoulder, Taehyung calls you softly, “I’m going to start the session if that’s okay?”

You nod, adrenaline buzzing through your veins as you hear the little pings from Taehyung’s laptop, indicating that people are paying to join the livestream. It’s still shocking that Taehyung has such a large following. However, it makes sense now that he has been so interested in erotic photography and film for his projects as a university student studying art. Funny how your roommate, Hoseok, never bothered to tell you that his friend does amateur porn – though Taehyung was quick to make it clear that he has never had anyone else on his stream before you.

You’re special.

You wonder who might be sitting on the other end, paying to watch Taehyung pleasure himself every Wednesday night.

“It’s hump day,” Taehyung had said with an exasperated sigh when you’d asked why he chose Wednesdays, as if you were the stupidest person on the planet for asking such a question.

The worst part is wondering if someone watching Taehyung’s stream will recognize you. Taehyung doesn’t shy away from showing his face, but he’d offered you a mask or only to use camera angles that wouldn’t expose your identity. You’d turned down both offers, though you can’t remember why. You can’t remember much of anything, your mind going blank the moment Taehyung addresses the anonymous subscribers waiting for porn.

“Hey everyone, it’s nice to see you all again this week,” Taehyung greets his followers with a deeper and richer voice than you’ve ever heard him use. It makes your body tingle. “For those of you following me on my socials or who joined last week, you’ll know I promised to do something special for Valentine’s Day, right?”

You can’t see the laptop screen; Taehyung is standing in front of it. He’s also blocking the camera, so the people logged into the session can’t see you yet.

“I have a special guest,” Taehyung shifts to the side so you’re in view, “This is Bunny, and it’s their first time on camera like this, so please be kind.”

Unsure of what to do, you wave your fingers in a greeting, unable to do much else since you’re all tied up. It must be enough because Taehyung smiles when he looks at you, and you feel your face heat up from the gentle gesture.

Luckily, Taehyung’s attention quickly returns to the livestream chat. Apparently, Jimin is hanging out in his bedroom, moderating the chat to ensure no one posts anything inappropriate. Knowing Jimin will be watching excites you a little bit.

“Ah, no, we’re not dating,” Taehyung chuckles, and it’s strange to be able to say that you know Taehyung well enough to know that this laughter isn’t genuine. “Don’t get any ideas, though. Trust me. Our little bun might look harmless, but it’s a ruse.”

You can’t help but snort. You’d think Taehyung is stalling, but you’ve learned that his subscribers expect a sort of parasocial relationship with him. He usually warms up by feeding into that. As weirdly cute as it is, your nerves are making you impatient.

“Even though it’s my bun’s first time, I don’t think we need to take it easy on them,” Taehyung smirks into the camera, and more pings ring through the bedroom.

Each ping indicates that the livestream viewers are leaving messages in the chat and sending Taehyung money to request specific actions – actions he refuses to tell you about because that would ruin all the fun.

“Hmm…” Taehyung murmurs, eyes dragging from the streaming platform’s chat feature to you, wrapped up like a pretty present for him. The look is weighty and dark, which Taehyung has never had while looking at you.

Suddenly embarrassed, you drop your gaze as Taehyung approaches where you kneel.

“Are you ready, bun?” Taehyung’s question is softer than the look he gives you.

You nod in return and hope your nerves aren’t visible to Taehyung’s loyal fans. It would suck to fuck this up for him, as much as he annoys you. Admittedly, ever since that impromptu threesome with Jimin, Taehyung has been acting different around you. He’s been almost… sweet.

Taehyung takes out a black, wide-end riding crop from the purple box. He hits the palm of his hand with it a few times as though testing it out. He looks good, the muscles in his biceps shifting and bulging every time he winds up to flick the crop. Your entire body shudders when his dark eyes flit down to meet yours.

“How many times do I have to tell you to speak up, hm?”

Taehyung falls into character quicker than you expect. It gives you whiplash watching him push back his hair, now a light minty color that looks pretty against the pink surrounding you, his gaze an oppressive force crushing you harder than the rope ever could. Your attention briefly falls on the laptop when a few pings ring out.

What if people don’t like you? What if you don’t do well? You’d agreed to do this because Taehyung wanted to expand his portfolio, just like every other time you agreed to spend time with him. You both know that isn’t why you’re here, even if neither of you want to say it out loud.

“Bun.” Using the flat end of the crop, Taehyung lifts your chin to look at him instead of the laptop. “Don’t think about them. Just focus on me, okay?”

“Okay,” you breathe, suddenly feeling lightheaded.

Taehyung drags the crop down your chest, tapping lightly at your tits to watch them bounce against the black rope. Goosebumps rush across your skin like waves in the wake of the crop’s path down your body.

“How many should I give you?”

You blink a few times, eyes suddenly bleary as you watch Taehyung walk around to stand behind you. The camera captures your side profile, allowing viewers to see you and Taehyung clearly. Despite Taehyung’s reassuring words, it’s hard not to think about the anonymous people watching Taehyung caress your body.

“How many what?” Your breath hitches when Taehyung’s hand replaces the crop to run up the length of your spine until he reaches the back of your neck.

“For your punishment, bun. How many hits do you deserve?” Taehyung asks, his voice with a deep timbre. “Lean forward.”

Taehyung squeezes the back of your neck and pushes, forcing your upper body down a bit further while you stay kneeling. Lifting the crop, he smacks your ass three times in quick succession, each hit a sharp sting that makes your body jolt.

“Oh, fuck,” you gasp as you struggle to keep your balance. “Is that really necessary?”

Taehyung clicks his tongue, and even though you can’t see him, you’re sure he has an infuriatingly smug look on his face.

“Count them,” he murmurs loud enough for the stream to pick up.

It’s strange how pliant you become with each hit. Something about the pain zaps something in your brain, sending your nervous system haywire until the stings turn into pleasure. Taehyung focuses each hit on the same spot until your skin becomes tender, but he doesn’t stop until your entire body shakes.

“T-twenty,” you count with a shudder, tears lining your eyelashes and fingers squeezing the ropes on your chest to give you something to hold onto, though it does nothing to ground.

“Very good.” It’s a simple statement, but Taehyung’s praise does something to you. Either that or it’s the feeling of the crop being dragged over your sore asscheek to dip inward.

You gasp when Taehyung pushes the crop through your pussy, spreading your lips open and running the crop along your folds. You’re soaking wet and on edge from him spanking you, so the glide is easy for Taehyung as he begins rubbing your clit. The crop is warm from your body heat, and though the shape is sharp and angular, any amount of stimulation feels good.

“Please,” you beg, bending forward further to expose more of your pussy.

The ropes around your legs keep your thighs spread, putting you on display for easy access. Even though you can’t see it, you’re sure your arousal glistens in the bright lighting, and you can feel your juices leak down your folds.

Taehyung runs his thumb through your pussy lips, swishing your arousal around, dragging up and down your clit before he eventually sinks his index and middle fingers into your pussy.

His name almost slips out when your thighs begin to shake. You want to call out his name and beg him to fuck you, even though everything in you doesn’t want to give him that satisfaction. It’s just too good, and you haven’t fucked since that time with Jimin. Taehyung said it would be better that way to help with your nerves, but now you’re feeling desperate, and you hate the feeling of needing to be filled.

“Fuck, look at you. You like being tied up like this, don’t you?” Taehyung smirks when he tosses the crop to the side and uses his other hand to stimulate your clit while he continues fucking you with his fingers.

You moan loudly, completely forgetting about the people watching Taehyung getting on his knees to finger you, twisting each time he pulls out, just to plunge back in and press downward to stimulate your front wall.

Remembering the rules, you swallow your pride and do what Taehyung wants.

“Yes, daddy.”

It’s humiliating to call Taehyung that. You hate it, but you can’t say his real name on air, and this was what he’d told you to call him – or else you’d be punished. He won’t let you cum if you don’t behave. Though you can’t deny how good Taehyung sounds when he groans at the name, nor how good it feels when he speeds up his fingers.

“Say it again,” Taehyung murmurs, leaning forward to press his bare chest to your back so he can reach your ear. “Baby, say it again.”

“Yes, daddy.”

“Fuck.”

Grabbing your hips, Taehyung yanks you back so he can switch places with you, now kneeling in front of you. Being on this side gives him a better view of the livestream chat. Whatever he finds there makes him smile, something lopsided and suspicious.

“They do have a pretty pussy, don’t they?” Taehyung grins into the camera, reaching forward to cup your pussy. He crowds your space, forcing your face against his crotch when he leans in.

Despite how embarrassing the action is, you mouth at the bulge in his joggers.

“Hurry up,” you whine, knowing Taehyung might scold you but uncaring. “Fuck me already.”

A slap to your tender ass makes you cry out in pain.

“Our friends think I need to do something about your bratty mouth, bun,” Taehyung points out with his arms crossed against his firm chest. “They’re right, of course. You’ve always been so bratty with me.”

“Fuck you,” you hiss quietly, both hoping no one hears you and also that they will.

“You’re cute when you’re acting like a slutty little bitch.”

Taehyung tongues the inside of his cheek and turns to the box that had held the riding crop. The insults scratch some itch in the back of your brain, and your pussy betrays you by pulsing with need.

From the box, Taehyung pulls out a pink cordless wand vibrator. The head is smooth and fat, the rest of the wand sleek like Taehyung’s fingers as they grip around the handle. Anticipation burns in the pit of your stomach while you wait for Taehyung to turn the wand on and press it against your swollen, neglected clit.

Instead, once the wand is on, Taehyung presses against the bulge in his joggers.

“Oh my god,” you moan as Taehyung drags the wand up his cock until he reaches the head. He circles it slowly, hips subtly thrust forward.

It makes sense that people pay to watch Taehyung masturbate. He’s pretty when he does it, staring directly into your eyes as he whimpers, breathy and sweet.

Each of his little moans makes you wetter, and your body continues to tremble with need. It’s so unbelievably hot how he tilts his head back, exposing the V of his jaw and his Adam’s apple, bobbing each time he swallows.

“Do you think I’m pretty, bun?” Taehyung smirks, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth as he finally removes the wand from his clothed cock. It’s hard to see the wet patch in his clothes from how dark the material is, but you know it’s there.

“Yes, daddy,” you whisper as Taehyung grabs a hold of your jaw and gives you a quick but firm squeeze that pushes your cheeks inward.

“I know you do.”

Letting go of your face, Taehyung hooks his thumbs in his joggers and pulls down far enough to take out his cock. It bobs and hangs heavy in front of your face, close enough that the tip brushes your cheek and smears precum across your face.

“Be a good bun and suck my cock, yeah?”

Not needing to be told twice, you lean forward to lap at the precum dribbling from Taehyung’s slit, making him groan. His body trembles slightly as you suck him into your mouth, and it feels good to know you’re not the only one affected.

Reaching for the wand again, Taehyung runs the tip along his shaft as you suckle the head of his cock. You can feel the vibrations in your mouth, and the sensation seems to travel down the rest of your body as your pussy pulses.

“Fuck,” Taehyung moans, throwing his head back as you take more of his cock down your throat. “Don’t go any faster. Keep it nice and slow.”

He only lets you suck him off for a bit longer, just enough to get his cock nice and wet from gagging around him. Then he tugs on your ropes, pulling you off of his cock as you gasp for air.

“You okay?” Taehyung brushes his thumb against your bottom lip, wiping away spit and precum, you’re sure. It’s disgusting, but he’s so gentle when he does it that your face grows hot.

“I’m fine.”

“You look pretty like this,” he murmurs. “I can’t wait to fuck you, baby. Been thinking about it for weeks.”

It isn’t until Taehyung cradles the side of your face and slots his lips with yours that you realize you haven’t even kissed. You usually don’t, too caught up in the carnal need to consume each other in other ways.

But kissing Taehyung feels good.

He holds you gently as your lips glide together, Taehyung tasting himself on your tongue and moaning into your mouth when he does. You pant against each other in between kisses, Taehyung using the opportunity to bite and suck on your bottom lip until you’re pushing yourself against him, seeking more. You just want to be close, closer.

“Turn around,” he breathes against your spit-slicked lips. It isn’t easy, but he helps you move until you’re facing away from him.

Without being told, you begin to lower your upper body onto the floor, but Taehyung stops you with an arm around your chest.

“Wait.” It’s spoken against your ear, his breath hot like your core as it pulses when you realize what Taehyung is doing.

He turns on the wand to the lowest vibration setting and carefully slips it through the rope wrapped around your hips. Placement presses the head of the wand directly to your clit.

“I can’t,” you squeak, hunching over as the subtle vibrations ripple through you. Normally, the setting would be too low to get you off quickly, but Taehyung has been edging you this whole time.

“It’s okay if you cum, baby. I wanna see how many times I can make you cum.”

Taehyung bites the curve of your ear before shoving the middle of your back until your upper body rests on the floor and your ass is in the air. He’s gentle when he presses his cock against your entrance, the glide easy from how sloppy wet you are. You can hear him bottom out, the sound of your arousal gushing around his cock with each wet slap of his thighs against yours as he thrusts in and out of you.

It only takes three deep strokes before you cum, pussy fluttering around Taehyung’s cock and your body shaking underneath him. The ropes prevent you from wriggling and writhing, and the vibrator on your clit prolongs your orgasm. You feel like it never ends, just wave after wave of pleasure, making your body lock up.

“Oh fuck, fuck, Tae-” You’re cut off by Taehyung’s hand slapped across your mouth.

“Behave, bun,” he growls, never letting up his pace despite how violently your body reacts to the prolonged orgasm.

Grabbing the rope tied around your back, Taehyung pulls on it, forcing you to rock back and forth on his cock at the pace he wants. You’re so wet that he slips in and out of you with wet squelches loud enough to be heard by all his subscribers.

“Oh my god,” you moan as your body rocks against the pretty sheets and fluffy pink pillows. It helps stop you from chafing against the floor, but you don’t care. All you can focus on is how good Taehyung feels, his cock filling you up and his hands tightening the hold the ropes have on the most sensitive parts of your body.

“God, you’re always so fucking creamy,” Taehyung groans, slapping your ass to watch it jiggle on his cock.

You feel another orgasm ripple through you, having barely recovered from the other one. Taehyung fucks you through it still and then fucks you through the next one.

By the time you’ve cum for the fourth time, tears stream down your face.

“Please,” you sob, the buzz of the vibrator and Taehyung’s moans flooding your brain until there’s nothing left.

“One more, bun,” Taehyung grunts as he reaches over to pull the wand out of the ropes. He tosses it to the side and replaces it with his fingers, rubbing quick circles over your clit. “Come on, give me one more so we can finish together.”

The remaining pressure inside of you bursts the moment Taehyung starts playing with your clit. You feel your pussy gush around his cock as you cum even more than before, so much that you can feel it leak down your thighs and soak the bed sheet below you.

A flurry of pings reminds you that you’re on camera. You can barely think straight long enough to understand what that means when Taehyung lets out a broken moan behind you.

“Oh fuck, you just squirted, fuck baby, why are you so hot.” Taehyung’s grip on your hips hurts when he finally cums, still thrusting even when you’ve both been pushed beyond overstimulation.

When he finally pulls out, you sag to the floor. Your entire body aches from being tied up and pounded into, not to mention how sore your ass and clit are from the constant stimulation.

“You’re trying to kill me,” you accuse weakly as Taehyung takes a deep breath, head thrown back, chest sweaty. He’s still wearing his joggers, and his soft cock hangs over the waistband, shiny with cum.

“Fuck,” Taehyung groans, running a hand over his face, “Alright, that’s, that’s all for today.” He crawls over to the laptop and gives the camera a salute. “See you all next week, assuming I’ve recovered.”

The final pings ring out from the laptop before Taehyung snaps it shut and falls back on his butt. He finally tucks his cock back in his pants and turns to where you lie, weak on the floor.

“Shit, let me get you out of this.”

You’re in a haze, something floaty and free, like a cloud, and Taehyung caresses your wispy body as he unwraps you. Your head lulls to the side, and you let Taehyung lift your limbs and shift your body until he’s finished with all the ropes.

“How are you feeling?” Taehyung asks, gently pressing a kiss to your forehead.

Content. Satiated. Happy. In love.

“Tired,” you mumble as you stare up at Taehyung. His eyes are bright, and his cheeks are a soft pink, youthful, and pretty.

“We can take a bath and then go to bed. You’ll stay over?” His voice is a hopeful lilt when he asks, and your stomach flutters.

“Yes, daddy.”

Taehyung’s mouth morphs into that lopsided grin you pretend to hate so much.

“I love it when you call me that.”

“I hate you,” you spit out, but Taehyung kisses you before you can pout more.

It’s a slow kiss, far too gentle for what you’ve all just finished doing. Taehyung sighs into the kiss, tilting his head to deepen it, though his lips glide languidly rather than rushed with need like they had before.

You slip your arms around his broad shoulders and appreciate the stretch of being free from your restraints.

“You did so well, seriously. I’m really proud of you. You were so sexy and, fuck. I’m…” Taehyung trails off as he helps you stand up, keeping you cradled against his body when you start to sway. “Thank you for doing this with me.”

You nuzzle your face into the crook of his neck and find no bratty comeback, only a flood of happiness that nearly chokes you.

“Maybe we can do it again if you wanna,” you offer with your lips against his neck. His skin is salty with sweat, but you flick your tongue against him anyway, just to make him squirm.

Taehyung pulls back slightly to stare at you. “For real?”

“If you keep asking, I might change my mind!”

You try to wiggle out of Taehyung’s arms, but he keeps you close. It’s fine; you don’t really want to be anywhere else but here, pressed against Taehyung’s broad frame, blanketed by his gentle attention.

Even if he is annoying.

Disclaimer: All my writing is fictional and for entertainment purposes only. None of these characters are meant to actually represent the real people mentioned in the stories.

All rights reserved © @gimmethatagustd - Do not copy, repost, modify, or translate any of my writing. Do not use my writing for any AI purposes whatsoever. Do not use my fics for anything aside from reading and commenting on them. My fics will only be posted on this Tumblr and on AO3 (gimmethatagustd & daddytaehyungie). Request an AO3 account here.

#taehyung x reader #bts x reader #taehyung smut #taehyung fanfic #bts smut #bts fanfic #the wannabe photographer chronicles #wsap #jai writes #gimmethatagustd

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madimir · 2 years

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Te amaba con mi vida eras mi mejor amiga mi compañera la persona que queria que se convirtiera en su mejor version al lado mio,nunca en mi vida habia sentido tanto dolor angustia ansiedad y desmoronamiento por una perdida, jamas pense que iba pasar,eras la persona que menos esperaba que me traicionara,despues de toda la inversion emocional que deje en vos,jamas te solte la mano ni estuve ausente nunca jamas ni se me cruzaba por la cabeza,aun incluso despues de que me maltrataras sin sentido por millones de cosas que escapaban de mi imaginacion proyectando tus pensamientos en mi persona y haciendome cargo por ellas, dia tras dia durante muchisimo tiempo, jamas pense que la persona de la cual recibia el abuso por ser educado en un negocio con alguien atendiendo diciendo porque tan educado o maltratandome simplemente por ser una mujer la persona con la que tengo que hablar para comprar o hacer un tramite, me iba a dejar y al rato se iba a olvidar todo el amor que venia de mi parte e iba a chamuyarse a una persona que trabajaba en una barra, fue algo que me rompio por dentro, no crei que existiese tal hipcresia,tuve que haberme dado cuenta antes que todos los planteamientos que para mi eran ilogicos o cosas que nunca se m cruzaron por la cabeza o no me podia imaginar eran solo una proyeccion de lo que eras vos,no creei que una persona que estaba 24/7 revisando mis redes o mirando con desconfianza cuando usaba wsap ig o iba al baño,iba a dejarme e ir a hablar con todas las personas que tenia de suplentes,de nuevo una proyeccion de tu propia realidad,yo jamas se me hubiese cruzado por la cabeza a dia de hoy no lo entiendo cmo te dio la sangre me dolio un mundo, porque me comi el maltrato 2 años por si las dudas por algo que terminaste haciendo vos, y encima minimizando todo como que no fue nada porque fue despues de la relacion, no habia pasado de ni un mes ni semanas y hiciste como si yo no hubiese existido, y no podias soportar en tu cabeza de la posibilidad de que yo te supere o vaya a conocer a otra persona te hubiese lastimado la auto estima demasiado entonces recurriste a buscarme dejarme buscarme dejarme y yo como un boludo te perdone todo absolutamente todo sin dudarlo ni pensarlo para que no lo vuelvas a valorar y me vuelvas a tirar a la basura como si nada, muy manipulador y enfermo de tu parte, esas cosas no se hacen,es la manera mas enferma y erronea de priorizarse a uno mismo antes que los demas,no es necesario arruinar los sentimientos de todos para llegar a estar bien con uno mismo,si no querias que conozca a otras mujeres o este con otra persona o era tu miedo no me hubieses dejado en un primer momento ni jugado tanto con mis sentimientos seria lo logico, ni en un primer momento vos estar relacionandote con otros hombres, vos podias y yo no?, la que me esta dejando sos vos y lo unico que te importaba solo era eso, y lo mas hironico es que a mi no se me pasaba por lamente ninguna otra persona jamas nunca, mis sentimientos eran solo para vos,todavia no estabas ni estas preparada para entender como funcionaba el amor o porlomenos mi forma de percibirlo, no me importaba si la persona que llegaba era la mas hermosa o la mas fea, yo era re feliz con vos solo queria superar los problemas que habian en la pareja y para mi era una relacion que valia demasiado, ya con problemas y todos valia demasiado, te habia dado mi palabra que jamas te iba a abandonar y no lo iba a hacer por nada jamas en el mundo nada valia la pena para mi que no seas vos,y se notaba,demasiado en la forma en la que me relacionaba con vos, en el interes que te demostraba siempre en la felicidad que manejaba cuando sabia que iba a verte o a compartir aunquesea un rato con vos, cuando necesitabas a alguien que te acompañe hasta en lo mas boludo yo era muy feliz,incluso sin ser reciproco, y no lo merecias la verdad, lo unico que mereces es una persona igual a vos, que solo se preocupe de forma enfermiza en uno mismo que no sea compañero que no muestre interes.

a dia de hoy conociendo otras mujeres no quiero saber nada porque no son la persona que yo amaba, todavia no logro desifrar como te dio el corazon y la cabeza para hacer las cosas que hiciste, habiendo estado tanto tiempo y pasado tantas cosas conmigo no lo comprendo.

el dia que la situacion sea alrevez te vas a acordar de mi y como fuiste conmigo desde el dia que nos conocimos hasta el dia que no nos vimos mas,de las miles de veces que no demostraste interes ni voluntad de las miles de veces que me lastimaste sin yo mrecerlo de tus planteamientos hipocritas de tus interrogatorios sin sentidos, de tu forma tan horrible de no saber escuchar y de exigir y exigir poniendo nada de vos, de las veces que me maltrataste en la calle en los negocios con mi familia en mi casa, cuando volvia del baño de bañarme cuando me sentaba en la compu cuando iba a comprar cuando no respondia porque estaba durmiendo,cuando no querias ser una linda compañera y estar para mi y conmigo como yo para vos porque podria haber mujeres en la calle o a donde iba, cuando toda l culpa caia hacia ami, cuando yo no generaba ninguna situacion nunca jamas tuve una mala cara sin ningun motivo aparente ni te trate mal sin ningun motivo.

acordate de mi cuando la situacion sea al revez y sean a vos a quien esten dejando aasi allas dado todo de vos y veas como todo lo que amabas y mas querias se te escapa como si nada y veas como se va con otras personas, ahi te vas a acordar de mi yvas a empezar a valorar como yo ponia todo de mi.

cuando te sean infieles, cuando no te demuestren interes cuando te cambien, inevitablemente me vas a recordar.

no te guardo rencor ni te odio sos una persona rota a la que no se le puede odiar, inevitablemente vas a torcer todo, si llega una buena persona la vas a llevar hasta el borde de la locura y se van a lastimar los 2

y si llega una mala persona vas a sufrir de igual manera, como yo sufri.

no me arrepiento de nada, solamente de nunca haber puesto limites pero no me culpo no sabia porque te amaba tanto que no me daba el corazon, pero eran neecsarios, era totalemnte inevitable mi comportamiento a tus abusos, tarde o temprano conmigo u con otra persona, me soprende la pasiencia que te tuve y l o leal que fui despues de todo y el poco valor que para vos significo, fue caer muy bajo de tu parte, dejarme venirme a buscar dejarme de nuevo, volverme a buscar manipularme decirme que me amabas invitarme otra vez a tu familia a tu casa, todos esos juegos de manipulacion que sol ome demostraban mas que no te importaba nada de mi solo era todo por vos y no queer sentirte olvidada, volverme a tirarme a la basura diciendome que ya no me amabas de nuevo que 0 todo, volviendo a herirle los sentimietnos a alguien que te re queria, y te habia perdonado y vuelvo a abrir las puertas, para despues volver llorando buscando consuelo por problemas tuyos, demasiado bajo y triste y yo sin poder decir que no queriendote ayudar mas que dispuesto, todas , infinitas oportunidades donde solo me desgaste mentalmente para nada, toda la voluntad de siempre solucionar todo de yo cambiar las cosas que yo tenia negativas, y que tmpoco te sea suficiente, con la doble moral y causando un infito dolor todos los dias.

recordame cuando la persona que llegue y que vos elijas, no sea atento no escuche no le interese nada de vos, no quiera cambiar ninguna actitud, no cuide de tus inseguridades no sascrifique por vos nada,o cuando prefieran a otras personas antes que a vos y vos sin nisiquiera entender el porque cuando te sientas nada, ahi vas a acordarte ed mi y darte cuenta que yo no hacia nada para lastimarte, que te lastimabas sola y me hacias responsable ami y culpalble y que era todo lo contrario, me quede sin opciones ni vias no supe que mas hacer mi cabeza no daba mas pero seguia y seguia tapando problemas ajenos tratando de que estes bien y vos tan egoista solo pensando en vos, sin nisiquiera percatarte como podia estar mi cerebro en ese momento, solo echando y echando mas nafta al incendio., quiero ver que persona soporta y tolera todo eso.

ojala algun dia nos volvamos a encontrar seria muy bonito porlomenos para mi me quedo con todo lo lindo de lo que ame y me enamore, espero algun dia cruzarte y encontrarme con una persona ya madura emocionalmente y consiente de que los demas tmb ssienten dolor y no solo uno mismo

y acordate jamas te menti ni te traicione ni lo iba a hacer tenias a alguien que mataba y moria por madurar con vos y solamente rompiste y rompiste todo hasta que ya exprimiste todo lo que te podia servir, la forma mas horrible de ser con otra persona la tuviste vos

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