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there has been a lot of ooc posts from me lately and not much else, but i’m still recovering from this absolutely bonkers cold, and adjusting to overnights and there’s a lot of shit happening outside of here and so i just can’t be here right now… i hope y’all understand. 🤍🤍
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No Idea (Bakugou x Reader)
Pairing: Bakugou x Reader
Anon asked: "yooo sketch was so cute and he was so in character! if you're taking requests could you write a fic where basically all of 1a is at the dorms besides the reader who's patrolling and she gets attacked by dabi and has to fight him off alone meanwhile 1a and dadzawa watch from the dorms via news channel? bonus points for a water quirk reader! you can match the reader up with either deku or bakugou!"
Genre: Action, angst/comfort
Word count: 2,005
Tags: @yuki-osaki @liviitehe @iamsoftsodonttoucheume-blog
a/n: Basically this entire ask is describing just a portion of what I’m preparing for my multi-chapter Todoroki fic that I’ve already teased about for my 500 followers special, you can call it maybe an alternate pathway, or a separate continuity that helps to characterize my OC. And I guess this one is well-timed because I just hit 1K yesterday?? I don’t know how it happened either tbh There will be a special event and a separate mushy post to come, but thank you all so so so much from the bottom of my heart.
This ended up longer than I expected, but that’s okay because I haven’t posted in a few days and I had time today to bang it out in one sitting. I know this request came from a fluff like Sketch, so I hope you also like angst because that’s my specialty ;) (not to mention I was waiting for someone to request something angsty because I’ve had that photo saved and ready to use it for the LONGEST time). Thank you for requesting it anon!
"Kinda sucks being out on patrol on the weekend," I sigh to myself, biting into my taiyaki. "But it isn't all bad I guess."
Mirko had called me out to do a quick patrol this weekend. This part of the city has been pretty quiet lately, and I don't mind showing my face. A few passerby's wave at me and I respond in kind. I like this part of the job, being the hero that everyone knows, respects, and trusts to protect them. It gives me more drive to save them in time of crises.
"Blue!" a middle school girl walks by and waves.
"Hi, Mina," I smile and wave back. "Going home from cram school?"
"Yup!" she flashes me a toothy grin. "Dad's making dinner tonight for once! It's Mom's birthday!"
"That's wonderful," my smile softens. "Wish her happy birthday for me, okay? And get home quick before she worries!"
"I will!" the girl runs off down the sidewalk, waving behind her.
So cute, I think, watching her small figure weave through the crowd of people. I swallow the last bite of my fish treat and continue on my patrol. Thankfully, it's another laid back day: I direct a few lost pedestrians to their destinations, make small talk with more familiar faces, help a few elderly carry groceries to their houses, and the like. I'm content with the mundane flow of a lazy Sunday afternoon.
While talking to a grocery store employee, a sudden explosion in the alley across the street breaks routine.
"Everyone get inside the nearest building or run as far as you can!" I scream out instructions to the citizens nearest to me as I keep an eye on the alley for the next explosion and help anyone within reach to look for cover. That explosion wasn't normal, I know those blue flames like the back of my hand.
Looks like my Sunday stroll is over. I dial on my phone as I thread through the frightened crowd toward the alley. "Mirko san, I might need backup. There's a very high possibility that the League is involved here, but I'll confirm-"
Right when I'm within a few yards of the alley's opening, another bright blue light flashes, triggering the surrounding crowd to scream and run away faster. I assist a few others, waiting for the smoke to clear. A silhouette appears amidst the dark fog, and I know exactly who it is.
"I'm confirming, it's-"
Before I can finish, the shadow stretches out its hand towards me and blasts flames straight at me. Immediately, I put up a water shield in front of me, then start building it wider so the people near and behind me can get away without damage. I already know what happens when something - or someone - touches those dangerous blue flames.
"It's-It's Dabi of the League," I force myself to say, the name burning as it rolls off my tongue. "He appears to be alone."
"Roger. Try to apprehend him by yourself before I get there! I'll hurry over as soon as possible!" my mentor responds and cuts the call.
I make sure everyone within the immediate area is evacuated from the streets, scanning every inch wildly for stragglers. Heat increases around the me suddenly, and darting my head back around shows the fire eating through my water defense without faltering. Before it completely penetrates my defense, I jump over to the side behind a car, right before a giant hole is ripped in my shield.
I catch my breath calling the water back towards me into my water nodes and compartments in my hero suit.
"Looks like you've improved a lot since the last time I saw you, (Y/n) (L/n)."
His menacing yet familiar voice as he drags out my full name sends shivers up my spine. Damn it, of all the villains, I had to face him!
"Aw, don't be shy now, I know you're happy to see me too." His voice moves towards my left. "We don't even get to see each other anymore."
"I'd prefer it that way," I snap, readying myself for another inevitable attack.
"You better give me a good fight, little one."
His voice-!
At the last second before hearing the crash, I jump out from in front of my cover, the intense heat from the blue flames just millimeters from burning my fingertips. Dabi had jumped onto the top of the car, his voice being evenly split in both of ears signalling that he had moved from my left to right behind me in the nick of time or else I'd be ashes.
I finally got a good look at his face. The stitches and staples etched into his face down to his chest and arms are all-too-familiar, along with his raven black hair and turquoise eyes.
"Reminiscing?" his head tilts, gravely voice taunting. "I don't think you have time to do that."
I sprint off and around for more cover as he throws more fire pillars from his hands, trying to find a fire hydrant of water fountain to give me more material to work with. Otherwise, I'm only limited to manipulating what's in the air and the stores in my costume. To my dismay, there's nothing around.
All I have to do is slowly manipulate the water particles around him and condense them over his hands to stop his quirk temporarily. That's the plan in my head that I'm going for. But he's way ahead of me, predicting all my moves and constantly jumping to move away from where I've gathered the water particles and forcing me to start over, leaving me to dodge him and put some distance between us.
"I already know all your plans, you can't defeat me that easily by yourself," Dabi mocks me.
I'm at the end of my rope. It's difficult to keep running and there just isn't enough water in the air to work for a fast attack. I dodge another one of his attacks and wrack my brain to think of a different strategy. My mind can only come up with one all or nothing plan, but if it doesn't work, I'll be done for quickly.
It's a risk I have to take. I slowly start collecting as much water as I can into my suit and immediately around me. Knock him out as quickly as possible, face him head on. I take a deep breath. My body shakes from exhaustion, anticipation, and fear. I'll have to use my body's own water storage to help me, making this plan dangerous.
Right when Dabi's about to burn me at my new hiding spot I jump out and summon all the water I've stored to mobilize. Drown him! A sphere of water forms just around his head. In his moment of shocked hesitation before he strikes, I force the water to go down his airway to suffocate him. He catches wind of exactly what I'm doing somehow, raising his hands to send another blast at me. I summon another set of water from my costume stores to surround his hands to keep the explosion tamed. Come on, fall unconscious already!
But it's curtains for me. He's summoning a larger blast to his hands, neutralizing my watery protection around them and I don't have enough stored up to replenish it. Desperately, I start using up the water inside my body. Damn it hurry up! I can't-!
I feel myself reach my limit just as he completely disintegrates my water seal with an explosion, sending me flying backwards down the street until I roll to a stop. I'm exhausted, I can feel my blood pressure and heart rate dropping, and I'm too weak to try anything else.
Through my dizzied vision, Dabi staggers towards me, coughing and sputtering. "Damn kid, you really almost had me."
It didn't work, I'm a failure. I don't have the energy to say anything back.
"Get your hands off her!" a female voice resounds, and stomps reverberate through the ground.
"That's my cue." I crack open an eye to see him smirk down at me before using his quirk to lift himself off the ground. "Until we meet again, (Y/n) (L/n)." He rocket away without a hitch.
Damn it...
After waking up in the emergency ward attached to an IV for my severe dehydration, Mirko tells me Dabi got away and she rushed me right over to the hospital to treat me since I was unconscious. They won't let me leave until I've replenished all my stores and my urine's clear.
"Also, your teacher's coming to get you," my mentor adds.
Aizawa is going to kill me.
"OI! WHICH ROOM IS IT?!"
Oh for fuck's sake, I know who else is gonna kill me.
Bakugou stomps in, his head trying to be held back by Aizawa's capture weapon to no avail.
"YOU DUMBASS-!" my boyfriend starts off before the scarf comes over his mouth to muffle his screams.
"This is a hospital, control yourself," Aizawa grits at him deathly and walks next to my hospital bed. "I guess you did the best you could, but I won't praise you for almost getting yourself killed. It was a good strategy, it would've worked if you had backup." He pats my head before smirking. "Bakugou was about to cry when you collapsed."
"SENSEI!"
"I'll leave you two alone to talk."
Him and Mirko step outside the room, leaving my high-strung boyfriend to rush me. "Do you have any idea how fucking worried I was, you dumbass?! You almost got yourself kill, look where you ended up...!"
I drown out his screaming, noticing how bloodshot his crimson eyes are from crying. He was so worried about me. I reach my hand up weakly and touch his cheek, cutting his reprimanding screams off short suddenly. If I had the tears to cry, I would. Instead, I offer him a tired, melancholy stare of affection. "I'm sorry," I manage out. "I know I said I wouldn't use up my own body's water, but I didn't want to die, Katsuki."
The aggression melts away from him face and his hand reaches up to hold mine. "I guess it was instinctive," he admits, closing his eyes and I feel him start to tremble. "Why would you face a villain like that alone?"
"I called for backup-"
"You should've stalled for as long as you could!" he sobs out, gripping my hand tighter.
My own body starts to well up, feeling the tickle in my eyes but no tears can escape. "I tried," is my soft reply. "I'm sorry."
Bakugou envelopes my body in his, trembling warmth blanketing me with his high emotions. "What would I have done without you? When I saw you get hit by that explosion, I almost lost it. Did you think about how I would feel if you pulled something like that and didn't survive it?"
I feebly return his embrace, tangling my fingers in his puffy hair to comfort the sobs wracking his body. "I'm here, Katsuki. I could have been in a worse condition, but I'm still here now."
His trembling and cries slow down to a calming end, and he remains wrapping me with his affection. "You did well, except the almost dying thing, I guess. I'm proud of you for holding your own as long as you did against a villain like him."
"Wow, a compliment? You must have really been shaken up," I poke fun at him to lighten the mood.
"I can be nice..." he mumbles into my neck. "You better drink a whole ton of water so we can go back together. Everyone else is worried about you too."
My mind wanders back to Dabi. I'll have to face him again eventually, and he knows what I'll try to do in the future. I'll need to be ready. But until then, I have a hotheaded Pomeranian boyfriend to comfort me from my past and build towards my - hopefully, our - future.
~
Sequel
#Bakugou x reader#bakugou angst#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#bakugou katsuki#gender neutral reader#action#comfort#bakugou scenario#bakugou imagine#request#mha bakugou#bnha bakugou#mha x reader#bnha x reader#mha fanfiction#bnha fanfiction
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Don’t Be Afraid: Poe Dameron x Solo!Reader - Chapter Twenty Four
Chapter Twenty Four: Rebellions Are Built On Hope
Series Masterlist
Plot: With First Order troops ambushing the party, Y/n, Finn and Poe must find a way out, but not without getting the list.
Warnings: blood, injuries, talk of death
Word Count: 7.7k
A/N: SO this is two days overdue. While I’ve liked keeping a schedule for posting chapters, it’s just not working for me any longer. Life has gotten a bit busier and to be honest, I write much better when I’m not on a deadline. The last thing I want is for this series to suffer because I feel that I don’t have enough time to make it the best it can be. I’ll try to update every week but if it takes longer because I feel it needs more work, then it needs more work. Anyway, this one is long and I’m posting from my mobile so I can’t add a ‘keep reading’ so many apologies to the scrollers lol. I hope you enjoy it!!
————
Blaster smoke and the scent of saltwater filled the air. Furniture was overturned to create barriers for guests who had also snuck in weapons. Shattered glass littered the floor. You’d never have guessed that minutes prior the room had been the pinnacle of elegance.
Poe grabbed my hand while Finn shielded me protectively as we crouched and moved through the room. It took work to avoid being caught in the crossfire that showed no signs of ceasing, even with losses on both sides. With each death, including Hasadar Shu’s, I had to fight the now familiar overwhelming sensation in my body.
“We need to find Sura and Charth,” I gritted out as I focused on taking deep breaths.
“We need to find a couple of blasters.” Finn remarked.
“Both,” Poe replied, “Both would be good.”
With every step we took, I felt the lightsaber make contact with my other leg. Even Poe and Finn didn’t have weaponry, we were still protected.
“Look!” Finn exclaimed and took the lead. We followed him and I spotted Sura, ducked behind a waterfall with a blaster in hand. We cautiously made our way to her as we dodged startled guests and blaster fire.
“Where’s Charth?��� Poe panted after we’d safely made it to her.
As she inhaled to answer, a shot was fired just above her heads. We ducked just as the rocks it hit crumbled around us.
“He went for the ship,” Sura answered, “What happened?”
“They must have found out about the auction,” Poe nodded towards Sura’s stolen Stromtrooper blaster, “Don’t suppose you have another one of those?”
“Go get your own. I did.” Sura grinned.
“Hold on,” I put a hand to Poe’s chest to stop him, “I’ve got my lightsaber, I can protect us.”
“Too risky,” Poe shook his head, “They’ll recognize you immediately and then we’re in real trouble.”
He was right. The story of my stand on Crait was galaxy wide now and I had no doubt that Ren had the entire First Order searching for me. I was as good as dead if I brought my saber out now.
“Cover him,” I begrudgingly told Sura who proceeded to step out from behind our shelter. She fired at the trooper closest to us and once he was down, Finn jumped out and grabbed the weapon. He ran and hid behind a column a few feet away, going us an affirmative nod.
“We can’t leave yet,” Poe stated, “We’ve got to get the list.”
“The list is lost,” Sura replied quickly, “We’ve got to get out of here alive.”
“Negative,” I countered, “There’s got to-“
Before I could finish, the lights cut out and we were cast into total darkness. I felt Poe shift me so I was pressed firmly against the rock of the waterfall with him acting as a human shield.
“Okay, what now?” I asked, watching small lights on the floor turn on. They weren’t enough to see any attackers so they were essentially useless.
“At least that damn ocean holo is off,” Sura remarked, which while true was of very little comfort.
As I was trying to make out any shapes out in the dark that I could, I caught a white light on the move near us. I caught the sight of Nifera Shu bolting up the staircase, her shell dress and the glowing of the eel around her neck lit her path.
“Sura, grab Finn and Charth and go find the ship,” I instructed, “Poe, you’re with me.”
“What? Where are you two going?” she asked.
“To get the list.”
I took Poe’s hand and carefully maneuvered us through the dark, doing my best to avoid bumping into anyone. Once I’d pulled us to the staircase, the floor lights came in handy as we were able to climb the steps fast. Once we got to the second story, there truly was zero light. Since no troopers had made it up yet, I unholstered my saber and ignited it so we could see ahead. There was a faint voice coming from nearby, we followed it to find Nifera on one of the balconies.
“Nifera!” Poe shouted, I deactivated my saber and clipped it back onto my thigh holster.
The frightened woman spun around and faced us, comlink in hand. “They killed my husband,” she breathed, barely audible, “They murdered Hasadar in front of me. In front of everyone.”
“I know,” I said sympathetically, as Poe and I raised our arms to show we meant no harm, “Because of the list.”
“Because of the Collective,” Poe stated. I came to the same conclusion only seconds after he had. The eel that rested on Nifera’s neck looked eerily similar to the snake we’d seen on the holo.
“Because of me,” she whined, her voice breaking with emotion.
“And I’m sorry, Nifera, but if I had to take a guess, they’re coming for you next.” I presumed just before something on the ground floor collapsed. Whatever had fallen was strong enough to shake the second story. Nifera clutched onto the railing while Poe and I hit each wall shoulder-first. I would have been fine had it not been my injured shoulder. I cried out upon impact and Poe rushed to my side, not that he could help the deep ache or the possibility that I’d popped a stitch.
“I’ve got to get out of here,” Nifera panicked, she tried to use her comlink again.
“They’ve blocked your signal,” Poe guessed as we watched her failed attempt at trying to escape.
“No,” she said anxiously, “I dropped it when they shot. I-I think it’s broken.”
“What about the list?” I asked with almost as much anxiety in my voice as in hers.
“Here,” she answered as she patted her eel’s head. She pressed its jaw open and I spotted a datachip sitting on its tongue.
“We can get you out of here,” Poe said as he took a cautious step towards her, “We’ve got a ship.”
“The Resistance?” she asked, her eyes flicking between the two of us, That is you you’re with, Lorell? Sola?”
We nodded in response.
“And what will it cost me?”
Poe jutted his chin out toward the eel, she caught our drift immediately. She didn’t look thrilled at the prospect, but at the sound of footsteps behind us, the mood shifted to urgent. Nifera’s eyes widened as she saw something over our shoulders, they were coming for her and by association, they were coming for us too.
“You’re running out of time,” I urged, “Trust me when I say coming with us is a more attractive choice than how the First Order will treat you. Do we have a deal?”
“Deal,” she nodded.
“Great,” Poe replied as the two of us moved to the edge of the balcony. We looked over the railing and saw there was a large pool, seeing that we were tailed by the First Order we didn’t have any other option for escape.
“How deep is that water?” Poe inquired.
“I-I have no idea.” Nifera answered shakily.
Poe climbed over the railing and helped us both over, “Let’s find out.” I gripped his hand tightly and spared him a wary look, he didn’t look any more confidant than I felt.
There was no time to think, we jumped.
In seconds, we were engulfed in the freezing cold water but I lost my grip on Poe. The first thing I did was look for him and Nifera, I couldn’t spot them because of how dark it was. I felt around the general area but couldn’t feel either of them. How far could they possibly sunk when we were right next to each other? Panic grew in my body as I waved my arms wildly around me, unsuccessful in finding them. I blindly swam towards the top, if I was going to have to search for them I’d need more oxygen to do so. When I hit the surface, I drew a deep breath and frantically looked around for Poe. Not half a second later, he emerged with a loud gasp and Nifera next to him.
From behind me, a pair of hands pulled me out of the pool and onto the grass. I looked up to see Sura shaking her head at me. “You’re insane,” she chuckled, “And that’s me saying that.”
“I jumped into a pool, you jumped into a gladiatorial ring,” I panted as she pulled me to my feet. I reached through the slit of my dress and felt relieved as I felt my lightsaber still secured.
Finn pulled Poe out while Sura and I helped Nifera, it took two people thanks to the heavy shell dress. It was a wonder she hadn’t been dragged under.
“Your necklace!” Poe cried, looking at Nifera’s bare neck. She dipped her arm into the pool and the eel slithered its way up her arm and rested again on her neck. The datachip was safe.
“Cute trick,” Sura commented.
“A better trick would be to tell me we have a way out of here,” Poe said, still trying to catch his breath. Finn and I helped him onto his feet, “Where’s Charth?”
“Headed back to us, no luck on the ship,” Sura reported, “It’s locked down tight, the whole landing dock surrounded by stormtroopers.”
“Sola,” Nifera said, grabbing my wrist, “I thought you and your husband were going to get me out of here.”
“We are,” I affirmed, taking hold of her arm “We’re just going to have to get creative with how.”
“Well, I suggest we do it quick,” Sura said firmly, “I figure we only have a few minutes before we’ve got our own contingent of troopers to deal with.”
That was true, the First Order would have noticed by now that Nifera was nowhere to be found. They would begin searching the grounds of the house soon.
“What about Wedge?” Finn suggested.
“Go on,” Poe said with a nod of his head.
“He’s here, right?” Finn continued, “And he’s got a ship. We get to him, we got a ship, too.”
“Brilliant,” Poe said with a smile, “Now all we need to know is where he is.”
“I’ll hail Connix back on Ryloth,” Suralinda said, pulling her comlink out of her dress pocket, “Maybe she can pinpoint Wedge’s position.”
“What’s going on?” Nifera asked, distrust spreading across her face, “Who is Wedge? And who are you...really?”
Finn stepped forward and placed a hand on her arm, “We’re with the Resistance, ma’am. And we’re here to help.”
“Lorell and Sola said as much on the balcony, and you with your starbird pin.” Nifera recalled, stroking her eel, “But if you think I’m one of you, you’re mistaken. The Collective doesn’t support any government.”
“We’re a far cry from a government,” I said, “We’re more like…”
Where I couldn’t find the correct words to describe us, Poe could. “A rag-tag group of heroes.”
“Heroes?” Nifera echoed with a raised eyebrow, “I suppose that remains to be seen.”
Sura turned back to us, “Okay, I’ve got coordinates on Wedge’s team, but we need to hurry. They’re on the move.”
“What about Charth?” I asked.
“He’ll meet us on the way.”
Nifera’s eyes bounced between me and Poe, the two people she felt comfortable talking to in the group. “Where are we heading?”
“Corellian Engineering Corporation.” Poe answered, “Do you know the direction?”
“I do.” Nifera nodded.
“Lead the way,” I said, she guided our group away from her home. Poe, Sura and I brought up the rear of the group, Sura placed a hand on each of our arms and slowed our pace.
“Something wrong?” Poe asked.
“I didn’t want to say more in front of Nifera, but there’s trouble on Ryloth,” Sura said quietly.
Fear struck through me like lightning, every worst case scenario to the situation filling my mind. “What’s wrong? Is everyone okay? Leia?”
“Connix didn’t go into detail, but she said they are evacuating.” Sura explained, “I’m sorry I don’t have more information.”
I tried to steel my nerves, there was no time to delve too deep into my worry. Even so, I couldn’t stop the thoughts of my mother or Rey being struck down from seeping into my mind.
“We’ve got to get back,” Poe said, his voice was hardened to hide his own anxiety.
“And we will,“ Sura said confidently, “We’re trying. We need a ship for that. So we stick to the plan, get off this planet, and go rescue our people.”
I shook my head and kept my gaze locked ahead, “It’s never that easy. Not for us at least.”
————
We hurried through the darkened Coronet City, taking back roads and sneaking between buildings while praying we didn’t run into any First Order officers. Poe and I in our shared knowledge of what was transpiring on Ryloth had unknowingly quickened our pace and ended up at the front of our group with Nifera. I was ready to curse whoever had designed the high heels I was wearing but then again, I don’t think they had been designed for running.
“That’s it up ahead,” Nifera said, pointing to a series of buildings and a very large hanger.
I gripped Poe’s hand tighter as we approached, “I don’t see our friends.”
“Wait,” Poe squinted and leaned forward, “I see ‘em. Up ahead to the right.”
I looked to where he was pointing, spotting the figure in the distance waving wildly at us. I couldn’t tell who it was but it was highly doubtful the First Order would be so enthusiastic about our arrival. We picked up the pace until we could clearly make out that it was our team. Wedge came forward and hugged Poe tightly.
“We sure are glad to see you,” Poe said over Wedge’s shoulder, “Thought we’d lost our ride for a while there.”
"What happened?” Wedge asked as he released Poe to embrace me.
“First Order ambushed the party,” I said, holding onto my family friend, “The port was shut down so we lost Charth’s ship.”
“It’s a small thing,” the Twi’lek reassured from behind us, “We got what we came for.”
“This list?” Norra Wexley asked from beside her husband.
Poe motioned for Nifera to come forward, “This is Nifera Shu. She has the list. We get her off the planet, she gives us the list.”
“Do you know there’s a water serpent on your neck?” Teza Nasz asked, gesturing to the eel.
“Yes,” Nifera confirmed with a polite smile.
“Okay,” Nasz replied, lifting her hands, “Just checking.”
“Everyone accounted for,” Norra spoke up, “Time to get the hell off this planet.”
I nodded in agreement, “How are we doing that?”
“Stormtroopers ahead,” Snap reported.
“How many?” Poe asked.
“Sixty,” Snap answered, “Maybe more. They’re guarding the entrance to the shipyard.”
“As if we were expected?” Poe guessed.
“Our luck was bound to run out,” Wedge said unhappily. “Yama,” he nodded for a young girl who came to stand next to Teza Nasz, “Is there another way around?”
The apparent First Order officer turned ally thought for a second before pointing back to a sky tower, “We can go through the building. But the halls are narrow and there’s a lift and a checkpoint.”
“So our best bet is entering here,” Wedge said as he turned to Poe and I, “Only we need a way to get past the troopers?”
“Create a distraction,” Norra suggested, “Wedge and I can lead them off while the rest of you get through.”
“No guarantee they follow you,” Snap objected, the worry was plain as day on his face. He didn’t want to subject his mother and Wedge to that potential fate.
“We’ll make it worth their while,” Norra stated confidently, “We’ll go in the way Yama said. We’ll make a lot of noise, make them think we’re bringing in the prisoners that way.”
“Mom…” Snap protested.
“We only need to split them. If we can get even half of them to follow us-”
“That’s still two against thirty.”
“Snap,” Poe broke the argument between mother and son, “It’s not a bad idea.”
“Then I’ll go,” Snap suggested in desperation, though he seemed to already know it was a lost cause to fight.
I sunk my teeth into my bottom lip and prepared myself for Poe’s immediate objection, but even that couldn’t stop me. “No, I’ll stay with them.”
Poe’s head whipped around to me, “What? No, Y/n-“
“You just said it’s a good idea,” I spoke over him, “And I’m not leaving them to fend for themselves. You guys have more than enough reinforcements to get the ships, I’m of more use here. Better three against sixty than two. There’s no argument to be made here, Dameron.”
Poe sighed as I threw his words back at him. He rubbed his hands over his face in frustration and moaned in frustration into them. He knew I was right just as Snap knew Norra had been. I wasn’t about to let two older pilots fight alone while we went with an oversupply of people to gather ships. As Snap was finally giving into Wedge and Norra’s decision to stay and sharing an emotional moment with the two, Poe silently nodded his head in agreement toward me. I tenderly placed a hand on his arm, he in turn pulled me roughly into his body with an arm around my back and crashed my lips to his. I grasped onto his still soaking wet tuxedo jacket to steady myself. It wasn’t a goodbye kiss, but it was one that had it been our last time together, it would have been appropriate. But I had too much faith in us to believe that a few Stormtroopers was what was going to separate us.
As we reluctantly broke apart, Poe kept his lips hovering over mine. “Stay alive, Solo.” he whispered huskily.
I took a shaky breath, it had been one hell of a kiss. “You too, flyboy.”
“Go,” Poe let go of me and looked to Wedge, “We’ll make our move when we see the troopers split. See you on the other side.”
————
It hadn’t been difficult to get the troopers to start shooting at us. The entire battalion was laying down fire and as much as I didn’t want to admit it, things were going to become dire within a few minutes. Wedge only had one back up blaster, Norra had none and all I had was my lightsaber. Once they were out, I was our sole defender.
“How long do you think we can hold?” Wedge asked after narrowly dodged a shot.
“Long as we need to,” Norra responded as she leaned out from behind our makeshift shelter to fire a few shots.
“What happens after that? I can’t promise I can take out all of them by myself.” I asked, the two legendary pilots shared a knowing look that I was not a part of.
“Guess this is what I get for wanting to be a hero,” Wedge laughed.
“Since when have you wanted to be a hero?” Nora chuckled.
I peeked out from our structure to deflect a few hits, a couple bounced off my saber and back at the troopers. “You’ve always been a hero in my book, Wedge.”
He smiled down at me when the two of us ducked again, “You’re more of a hero than I’ll ever be, Solo. Han and Luke would be proud of you.”
Would they? Would my father be proud of me for being caught in a fight with sixty stormtroopers on the home planet he’d hated? I highly doubted it but I took Wedge’s compliment regardless.
“There!” Norra said from her position, Wedge and I peered over the barricade to see the rest of our team. They had collected the prisoners and were running them through the hanger. It looked like they were splitting up, I could see Karé, Teza Nasz and Charth taking those who were injured and extremely weak to an Imperial shuttle while Finn, Nifera and Snap led the rest of the group headed for a large blockade runner. However, we were visibly missing two people.
“Where’s Poe?” Wedge asked, voicing my thoughts before I could, “And Suralinda?”
“I don’t see them,” my voice wavered with concern.
“They can take care of themselves,” Nora assured us, “Keep shooting. We’re almost out but we’re not there yet.”
If there was one thing I could admire about Snap’s mother, she didn’t give up. She was one of those women who you could tell would fight until she physically couldn’t and even then, she’d find a way to keep going. She reminded me so much of Mom.
“Solo,” Norra said as she spared a quick glance at me, “Why are you bleeding?”
“What?” I asked confusedly before realization hit and I looked down to my shoulder. My deep crimson blood had mixed with the water still on my body, probably making the wound look worse than it was. I quickly pulled aside the material of my dress to see that I had indeed popped a stitch. Between hitting the wall back at the Shu’s and the action of using my saber had done it. I was in no danger of major blood loss, even if I had been it wouldn’t matter. My sole focus was on the fight at hand. “It’s fine, keep going.”
Wedge came out from behind the shelter to fire only for his blaster to fail. As he was reaching for his backup, a shot came from a trooper that hit him. He yelled out in pain and clutched his arm as he fell to the ground.
“Wedge!” Norra cried, crawling over to where her husband lay. In true badass fashion, she aimed and took out the trooper who had laid Wedge out before coming to his side.
I’d be damned if I was going to let Wedge’s injury go unpunished. I could see out of the corner of my eye that Norra was handing Wedge his backup blaster. After being assured that he was okay for now, she rejoined me while keeping one eye on her husband. We’d taken down fifteen troopers at best, if we were going to make it out alive, something spectacular needed to happen soon. I peeked over to the hanger to see that our group was nowhere to be found and a few troopers were breaking off to investigate. They’d never make it in time to stop them nor have enough firepower to ground the ships.
“Antilles,” I commanded as I could see his shots slowing down, “Don’t you dare fall asleep on us.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it,” he replied before turning to his wife, “But Norra, if I can’t stay on my feet, I want you to…I want you to-”
“Don’t even say it,” Norra gritted out, “We’re in this together. You stay, I stay. We make a run for it together or we don’t go at all.”
“But-“
“Done talking.”
“I love you,” Wedge smiled.
“Good,” Norra said firmly, “Now stay alive.”
The whole exchange sounded very familiar. It reminded me of a conversation Poe and I would have. Somehow that lit another fire under me to protect Wedge and Norra and make sure they came out of this together.
“Keep going,” I ordered as I carefully poked the top of my head over the edge of the barricade. The troopers were separated into four groups standing a few feet away from each other. I crouched behind our shelter again and deactivated my lightsaber, setting it next to Wedge and paying close attention to the shots fly over my head. There was a timing to them, one shot roughly every three seconds. If I timed it just right, I might be able to knock out at least one group of troopers. It was risky but the entire night had been a series of risks, what was one more?
I counted one, two, three seconds before springing to my full height and stretching my hands out toward our attackers. I used the force to send half the troopers flying back to hit a nearby building. I quickly dropped back behind the hideout just as a blast flew past my head, I felt like all the energy had just been drained from my body. In all the times I’d used that move, I’d never used it on that many people at once. I’d need to wait a minute before trying it again.
Suddenly, the wall of the hanger to our left exploded and sent a thick cloud of grey dust into the air.
The three of us coughed violently, I struggled to see through the dust and find what had caused the explosion. Heavy fire came from where the blast had occurred and it became apparent that it was coming from a starfighter rather than a regular blaster. I had an educated guess as to who was behind the controls…
“Poe better cut it out or he’s going to bring this building down on us, too,” Norra observed as she came to Wedge’s side once more. He was laughing from the shock we’d been given. The stormtrooper’s shots had ceased as Poe took each one of them down. “Do you think you can walk?”
Wedge nodded, still chuckling as the two of us helped him to his feet, “I did not see that coming.”
“Most people don’t see Poe Dameron coming,” I remarked as I grabbed my lightsaber and we hurried across to the hanger. My boyfriend hovered around to give us cover, I spotted Snap at the ramp of the blockade runner motioning for us to hurry.
“You guys go,” I yelled over the engine of Poe’s starfighter, “I’m going to help out on the shuttle.”
Snap gave a nod and helped Wedge and Norra onto the ship. I sprinted across the hanger to the shuttle that was just getting ready to take off, Teza Nasz was helping the last prisoner on. We filed in and I shut the door behind us, I holstered my lightsaber back under my dress and attempted to catch my breath.
“Jedi?” Nasz jutted her chin to my concealed weapon.
“Not quite yet,” I breathed with a small smile.
She simply hummed in reply and led us into the main part of the shuttle. Judging by the crowd it looked like we’d gotten quite a few, if not all of the prisoners. If we made it out of the hanger, we could call the mission a success.
I began getting everyone comfortable, the group we had must have been tortured and starved. There were cuts and bruises littered all over their skin, some of them were practically skeletons.
“Excuse me,” a voice croaked from behind me, it was the man Teza Nasz had helped on as I’d boarded. He had cuts littering his arms, blood dried underneath his nose and was dangerously thin. I made my way over to him and crouched down so he wouldn’t have to strain his voice, “Where are we going, miss?”
He was so frail, I couldn’t imagine what the First Order had done to him. All because he’d dared to stand for what was right. It made my blood boil. I carefully took his hand, his trembling fingers wrapped around mine, and I looked into his eyes. “Somewhere safe.”
————
Once we’d made it off of the planet and after I’d gotten the survivors situated as best I could, I came to sit beside Nifera. She seemed steady in spite of her world having been turned upside down. Staying collected in the face of adversity was an admirable quality, one of the many skills I lacked.
“I’ve never associated with the Resistance until tonight,” she said, her eyes never leaving a small window, “But what you did tonight was…admirable. Even if you won the prize of the evening in a most unsavory fashion.”
“Well, we’ll actually do some good with that list. I doubt any of your other guests would treat these people with the kindness they deserve.” I commented as I pressed a gauze pad to my wound to stop the bleeding, “But thank you. I’m sorry about Hasadar, truly…I hope you can find peace somehow.”
She ducked her head, raising a hand to stroke her sleeping eel. “Tell me, Sola, or whatever your name really is…Have you ever lost someone? Not a soldier or pilot whose name you barely knew, someone close to your heart.”
I squeezed my hands together in my lap, “I lost my father one week ago, three days later I lost my uncle. And my br-“ I caught myself and bit down harshly on my tongue to stop the words from escaping my lips, “Yes, I have.”
"Then you must know,” Nifera turned to me, a tear staining her heavily powdered cheek, “There is no true peace after losing someone you love. You can try to move on, you can sink into a deep denial, but there will always be a hole in your life that only they can fill.”
“I suppose you’re right,” I conceded, there was definite truth to what she said. I’d never recover fully from my father’s death and while I knew my uncle was at peace, I was still devastated by his loss. “But then I’ve never had much peace to begin with so I don’t think it matters if I go through the rest of my life without it.”
“Based on tonight? No, I very much doubt that you live a serene life.” Nifera’s expression radiated a judgmental type of disapproval. I had to remind myself that while polite, she was in no way an ally.
”I never have and I doubt that will change anytime soon,” I stated unflinchingly, “But if I can help people, then the chaos I create is worth something.”
Karé emerged from the cockpit and interrupted our conversation, “Nifera, Poe wants to speak to you.” She handed her comlink to Nifera and gave us privacy to take the call. I however had no intention of leaving.
“Hello, Lorell,” she replied, smirking at me as she used his alias name.
“It’s Poe. Poe Dameron.”
“I know,” she smiled.
“We need somewhere safe to set down for a while. Not long. Just a meeting point to regroup, disseminate the list. A day at most.”
I watched the cogs turn in Nifera’s head as we awaited her answer, “And you think I can help you?”
“I think the Collective can help us.”
“And why would we do that?”
“Because we just helped their benefactor escape certain death.”
I nodded along with Poe’s answer, Nifera eyed me as she thought over her answer.
“Very well, Poe Dameron,” she laughed, “I’ll help you. After you make a generous donation to our cause.”
I rolled my eyes, the Collective had already taken half of our money during the auction. If we gave more, our funds would be almost non-existent. This solidified my earlier conclusion that Nifera was not our ally, if anything she was a business woman.
“Yeah, about that...didn’t you already take half our credits?”
“And now I aim to take the other half,” Nifera answered plainly.
There was a long pause over the comm, Poe was thinking it over. Finally, his tense reply came, “Take the money, lady.”
Nifera rose from her seat and I followed her, she headed into cockpit where Karé was piloting once again. She relayed a set of coordinates to her and Karé punched them into the ship, our course was set.
“I’ve given your pilot coordinates to a safe house. She will transmit them to yourself and your other friends. I will let them know to expect us.”
“Thank you.”
“A pleasure doing business,” she said before handing the comm back to Karé. I stayed in the cockpit with my friend as she continued speaking to Poe. I no longer had any interest in interacting with Nifera.
“Did she give you the coordinates?”
“Yeah,” she responded as she hit a few buttons, “Sending out to Resistance channels now.”
“Copy. Is Y/n with you?”
Without taking her eyes off of the stars ahead, Karé stretched her arm out to me and I took the comm from her.
“She’s here,” I answered, “Unharmed and still very wet.”
“There’s worse things to be. Karé said she got a transmission from the Falcon, First Order found them and they had to evacuate Ryloth. Leia’s okay though.”
I sighed, the weight of fearing the worst for my mother dropped immediately, “Any casualties?”
“A couple, one of the Phantom Squad pilots and Charth’s sister.”
“He’ll be devastated,” I mumbled, “It’s going to sound insensitive but I’m so glad that Mom’s okay.”
“I know. Me too. We’re about to make the jump, I’ll see you wherever we’re landing.”
“See you there. And hey,” I paused, smiling softly at the comm as if it was Poe in the flesh, “We did it.”
“Yeah, we did.”
I handed the comm back to Karé and settled into the seat behind her. While Nifera wasn’t my favorite person in the galaxy, I trusted that she was leading us somewhere safe.
“Ready?” Karé asked.
I nodded, “Punch it.”
————
Poe and I corralled the last group of prisoners to the doorway of The Collective’s hideout. The door was marked with a picture of the same type of eel that had rested on Nifera’s neck. Finn stood watch from an alleyway nearby, I shot him a nod and he did the same. We were clear to enter, no one had followed us. I was surprised we hadn’t been picked out by now, mysterious hooded figures typically stood out in a crowd.
I opened the door and we ushered each person in, after everyone was accounted for, Finn joined us and the three of us entered.
The first part of the building was an abandoned storage room, where the Collective stood atop various boxes keeping watch over everyone who entered. We went through the room to a small door to the side where Zay stood, bringing the prisoners into our final destination.
“Is that everyone?” Zay asked.
“Should be,” Poe answered as we entered the next room. As Zay had shut the door, I caught Collective members sliding crates in front of it to conceal the entryway. We were safe.
Inside the large room, there were tables with food and drinks laid out on them, many of the starved prisoners sat and ate quickly. There was also a staircase that led down to the main room where many reunions and conversations were taking place.
Mom came up the stairs to approach the last prisoner we’d led in, it was her old friend, Ransolm Casterfo. She gently embraced him, the man was trembling as she did.
“I thought you were dead,” she whispered.
“But you came for me anyway, my friend.”
“I hoped,” she replied, “Come meet everyone.”
Rose led him down the stairs and began to introduce him to people as Mom turned to Poe and I.
“General,” we both acknowledged with a nod of our heads.
“Commanders,” she replied with a twinkle in her eye, “Well done.”
Mom and General Rieekan had turned the room into a makeshift command center. There was equipment set up and a large holomap of the galaxy against one wall. Nobody seemed to be skipping a beat, they were working just as hard as they had when we’d had a full setup on D’Qar.
“Did Nifera give you the list?” I asked.
“Already disseminated,” Mom reported, “Yendor and Orrimaarko are making assignments now. We’ll find them all. Warn those who are in the First Order’s sights, rescue those in danger, and recruit who we can.”
“Good,” I said, my mind was already trying to figure out what we’d do tomorrow. And the day after that. And the day after that. And-
“One step at a time,” Mom broke my thoughts with a hand to my arm, “We’re not taking on the entire First Order tomorrow. We can’t. But we can take one step, and that earns us another day to take another step.”
“We can’t do it alone,” Poe stated, he was in a similar state of mind as I was.
“And we won’t. We’ll find people, we’ll inspire them. Show them they aren’t alone, show them what’s worth fighting for. And we’ll prepare and rebuild. This,” Mom spread a hand and gestured to the room, “is a beginning.”
I nodded with a hint of a smile, looking around at our group. We’d doubled in size today and Mom was right, this was a start. All around us were old friends and new allies, working together and actively doing exactly what Poe’s speech in the Ryloth hanger had inspired them to do…Be better.
I broke away from them to climb the staircase and land on the top step. I wasn’t used to commanding attention, but I felt the unusual desire to do so.
“We can’t stay here,” I said, my voice carrying over both rooms. They fell silent in seconds and everyone had turned to face me. ”As much of a frightening thought as it is, there’s nowhere in the galaxy where the Resistance is safe from the First Order.”
Breathe, I told myself, you can do this. The worried expressions that rested on everyone’s faces stirred up my anxiety.
“But right now, we’re going to revel in this win. After our losses, we still rose from the ashes and lived to fight another day. And look around,” I gestured around me, “This is what we accomplished in a day that the First Order never intended for us to see. So celebrate, we deserve it.”
Applause broke out across the room, I let it ring for a few seconds before holding up my hands to call for silence.
“But this isn’t the end of the fight,” I said, “This is just the beginning.”
“What do we do next? Where do we go?”
I turned to see the voice belonged to Pacer Agyo, the headstrong pilot who’d challenged Teza Nasz.
“We go where there’s injustice, we go where the oppressed are being beaten down. We go where we are desperately needed, where hope is needed. You want to know what we do next? We do what we do best…We resist.” my voice rose with the passion I was pouring into my words, “We fight. And when the time’s right, we’ll make the First Order pay for each and every one of their sins. There’s a future ahead of us where the First Order is extinct and we’ll be the ones to have ended them.”
Cheers erupted across both of the rooms and I allowed myself a moment to savor the moment. The mistake I’d made aboard the Raddus was permanent, but it seemed forgiveness could be too. I’d accomplished what I’d set out to do; make amends. As I descended the staircase, people surrounded me and gave me nods of approval, hugs and pats on my back.
Mom was beaming from where she stood, watching me take charge of the room. Poe came forward to press a kiss to my cheek, I wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him to my side. Professionalism didn’t matter right now, there were hugs and kisses being freely given between everyone. It was another day that we’d survived and that was something I’d celebrate freely.
I could see Wedge, whose arm was in a sling, and Norra making their way across the room with their eyes locked on Poe. “I’ll find you in a few minutes,” I said quietly before breaking off on my own. I had people to speak to as well.
I spotted Rey in a corner, kneeled down and in conversation with Bee. When she saw me approaching, she rose and turned her attention to me. Bee excused himself and left the two of us alone.
“I like the outfit,” she quipped, her eyes scanning up and down my barely dry dress.
“I like yours better,” I said, tugging on the sleeve of her dark Jedi robes, or at least what was starting to look like a set. “Much more suited for battle than a ballgown.”
Rey laughed and wrapped her arms around me, there was so much relief in our being reunited. I didn’t like being separated from her, there was something about having her at my side that calmed me. It was the same feeling I got when Poe and Finn were with me.
“Okay,” I said, pulling away from her, “I can’t be expected to wait any longer. I need to know what my uncle said about me.”
Rey’s face changed from joyful to serious instantaneously, “Yes, you do. I doubt there’s a place we could go to discuss it privately so here will have to do.”
I didn’t particularly care if the room was just us or a hundred more people. My uncle had something to tell me and I was desperate to know what it was.
“When I was with Luke, he talked about you quite a lot. How when he met you as a child, he’d had a vision about your future.”
“Yeah, my mother told me. I don’t know the details of it, just that he had one.”
“Well,” she went on, “He said he knew you wanted answers. About the Force and about your parents. And he said that when you’re ready, those answers lay on Ahch-To.”
My body stiffened and my ears quit registering the noise around me. The prospect of having the questions I’d asked my entire life answered was almost too much to process. I’d accepted the fact that I’d never know about my birth parents long ago. Now I was being told that information about them existed somehow and was mine for the taking.
“I-I can’t…I mean…how?” I sputtered, trying to wrap my head around the idea.
“Don’t ask me,” Rey shook her head, “I asked and he wouldn’t tell me. He just said to come to the island when you’re ready and all will be revealed.”
I raked a hand through my messy head of hair, a grin spreading across my face at my uncle’s cryptic invitation. Was it possible? If he said so, it had to be. I could finally know the truth about myself and my family. It was the greatest gift I’d ever been given.
“Are you alright?” Rey asked worriedly.
I let out a gleeful laugh and threw my arms around her neck, “I’m fantastic.”
Rey hugged me back and we stood there for a moment, two souls who were struggling to understand themselves celebrating that one of us was getting answers. It was a bond we shared that no one else could come close to understanding.
As much as I wanted to stay there reveling in the news, I also wanted to find Poe and Finn. “C’mon,” I said as I grabbed Rey’s hand, “We’ve got a lot to celebrate.”
The two of us maneuvered through the room to find Finn and Poe standing on the stairs talking. “I don’t think you can stop me,” Finn replied to whatever my boyfriend had asked before we’d arrived.
“Where are we going?” Rey asked, they turned to face us.
“I didn’t want to ask,” Finn said with a large grin.
“You didn’t have to,” Rey smiled as they bumped shoulders.
Poe and I shared an intimate look conveying many emotions at once. Relief that we had succeeded in our mission, hope for the Resistance’s future, and unfailing love for each other. I climbed the steps to meet him and walked into the arm waiting to wrap around my waist.
“So if our clothes were lost on Charth’s ship,” he pointed his finger to the bodice of my dress, “Does that mean you’re gonna be wearing this from now on?”
“Depends,” I said, playing with one of the flaps of his tuxedo jacket, “Are you going to keep wearing this getup?”
Poe tapped a finger to his lips before slyly looking to me, “I think that can be arranged.”
A fake gagging sound came from Finn as he stuck his finger in his mouth, eliciting a hearty laugh from Rey. Poe rolled his eyes and kissed my forehead, not caring one bit if anyone had a problem with it.
“You don’t mind?” Rey asked, her eyes drifting to Poe, “Me coming wherever you guys are going?”
“I would be,” Poe bowed slightly to my friend, “Honored.”
Rey smiled, visibly excited to be included in our group. Finally I had three of the people that meant the most to me together.
“Wherever we go,” I grabbed Rey’s hand and squeezed, “You come too.”
When I’d met her, she was living in an AT-AT alone. No family, no friends, not even a droid for company. I never wanted her to feel like that again, she was a permanent part of the Resistance family now.
I caught my mother’s gaze as she watched us laughing and conversing. She looked pleased with what she saw, but also like she was having a nostalgic flashback.
“She knows,” Rey commented, catching the same look I had.
“Know��s what?” Finn asked as he took another sip of his drink.
“That the Resistance is in good hands,” Poe answered contently, “That we won’t fail her.”
“Because of the Force?” Finn asked.
“No,” I replied as Mom shot me a wink before moving away, “I don’t think Leia needs the Force to tell her that.”
“Ah! Right!” Finn said happily, “She knows because she’s got us.”
I took a look at our group, admiring the fact that in the week that we’d all known each other how close we’d gotten. Four people who under any other circumstances should have never found each other. There was no other explanation for how we’d ended up with one another other than the Force.
Poe wrapped his free arm around Finn’s shoulder while Rey embraced me from my side. “That’s right,” he said, laying a gentle kiss to my cheek, “She’s got us.”
For the first time in a long time, everything felt alright. Tomorrow would bring a host of new problems to face but suddenly, rebuilding the Resistance didn’t seem so impossible. Not when I was surrounded by the people I loved most in the galaxy. I had my boyfriend next to me, my friends on each side of me, my mother at ease for once, and long awaited answers waiting for me whenever I wanted to come get them. Everything was coming together even in what seemed like the darkest of times. There was hope.
“Yeah,” I smiled as I looked between my friends and Poe, “We’re going to be fine. Now let’s go save the galaxy.”
————
A/N: We’re taking a trip to Ahch-To next chapter 😏 I’M SO EXCITED YOU HAVE NO IDEA. As always, thank you so much for reading and all the kind messages/comments that you guys have dropped. It really makes me happy to know that this series I started out of boredom in quarantine is being enjoyed 💕 Until next time!!
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I Saw You First
“An Angel & Her Assassin” sequel
Patron Benefit Fanfic for @softdudebro!
Pairing: College AU - Bucky Barnes x Reader
Author's Notes: People have asked for sequels to this fic and I gave it a shot. I thought I'd dedicate this to Tomorrow since they like Bucky :) hopefully this is a good continuation and elicits some college feels cuz it definitely did for me! Hope ya'll like it!
Summary/Request: The story of the first time you and Bucky saw each other but didn't actually meet. Then a flash forward to the present. smut.
**inspired by that one video of Seb working out** gif post
Word Count: 1700ish
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Mobile Masterlist / Patreon & Commissions Masterlist
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Bucky noticed you before he ever encountered you in the laundry room or the elevator of your dorm building. It figures that it would be at the gym, likely one of the regular places he frequented. Of course, you never knew this until after that fateful night at the Halloween party when you finally, truly connected.
When you asked him to tell you the story, he was playfully vague. But you know. You were there. You’d checked him out too.
Here’s how it really happened.
-----
The summer after your freshman year, you created another reading list to focus on. One of your methods to read these had been to take a book with you to the gym. You figured getting a little exercise at the same time would only help you develop better habits.
It worked, at first. The beginning of the new semester, you went to the gym for maybe two weeks? You enjoyed the ellipticals and recumbent bikes--the things that kept your legs busy but your hands and eyes free to read. It also distracted you from feeling self-conscious about the fact that you didn’t look like the other girls that came to the gym to socialize and work on their already-perfect bodies.
With the addition of classes, going to the gym became a harder habit to keep. You could just stay in your dorm room and read all you want, right? But by now, Rachel, your roommate needed a work-out buddy. Someone to motivate her to continue to go to the gym, as well. She claimed she wanted to get in shape for all the boys she’d scoped out at the floor meeting for the dorm during the first week of the semester.
“Let’s try the classes!” she suggested, pointing at the schedule on the wall. Step Aerobics, Yoga, Zumba, etc. They sounded alright, and maybe a change to your routine would be good.
So you started with the step aerobics class. You didn’t last long. You were breathing hard, face flushed and dripping with sweat. The blood was pounding in your ears, harder than the beats of music and every step on the hardwood floor and plastic steps.
You took a break, heading to the back of the class to get your water bottle. The back of the room was floor to ceiling windows and doors that faced the main area of the gym where all other equipment was. It took you only a second to realize why you disliked this set up. Everyone in the class, mostly other female students were in a fishbowl, on display for all the guys passing by or just blatantly standing at the windows. One guy winked at you and you scowled at him, effectively directing his eyes elsewhere.
What was so sexy about a sweaty step aerobics class? You thought to yourself as you turned to look at Rachel, killing it on the routine.
Oh, the butts, getting toned by the steps...Ugh!
You left after that, picking a leg press machine instead.
“Hey! Why you’d you leave?” Rachel asked after the class was over.
“Did you not see all the guys window shopping?”
“Uh, yeah, I got a number or two,” Rachel giggled, swinging her ponytail over her shoulder. You laughed as you got off the machine, offering it to your friend. She sat down and lowered the weight, significantly.
“I don’t come here to pick up guys.”
“You could if you wanted to,” she said, exhaling on the release. You just rolled your eyes. You told yourself it was because you didn’t have time for a man but really, how could you possibly expect to attract the interest of some jock? The guy that winked at you doesn’t count. He was disqualified the moment he decided to drool over a step aerobics class rather than work out. Your standards weren’t that low, seriously…
You and Rachel tried out a few more machines in the circuit, trying your own hands at strength training. But you realized quickly that you’d left the quieter space of the cardio equipment, too close to the weight lifting benches. Young men of all sizes were pushing themselves to the brink, breathing hard, grunting, exhaling, chanting, and egging each other on.
“Come on, Sam, you can do it! Just two more!” You knew that voice. Everyone on your floor knew Steve Rogers, quarterback, certified hunk and sweetheart. Or at least that’s what you had heard.
“He can’t do it.”
“Shut up, Buck!” a football player shouted as he pushed himself.
Too much testosterone. Intense. Stressful. Intimidating. That’s not what you wanted out of going to the gym. Quite the opposite really.
As you two left the gym, you made a mental note to avoid that area again.
-
The next class you attended was Zumba and not only did you keep up with it but you enjoyed it! The music was awesome and the choreography wasn’t too difficult. You could totally see yourself doing this again. But of course, boys… not men… boys…they ruin all the fun.
If step aerobics could catch the attention of onlookers, then zumba was like blood in the water for sharks.
Then again, you did feel sexy, swaying your hips, waving your hands, rolling your body. You decided to put the spectators out of your mind, losing yourself to a Shakira song.
When you left the class, having stayed for the entire thing and deciding to return tomorrow, you felt so good, so confident, that you didn’t care about who was looking. You were just in Nike leggings and a tie-dye shirt, hair up in a messy bun, nothing special, but you felt great.
“Hey, Rach!” someone called out for your friend, inviting her back over to the weight lifting area. The guy who called out for her looked familiar, someone that was likely found hanging out with Steve Rogers.
“Hey Sam,” she greeted him. You stayed by her side, holding onto that Zumba confidence with a steely grip.
You didn’t really listen to what happened between your friend and the football player. You saw Steve a few feet away with another friend. The man was on his back, legs bent and giant dumbbell weights in each hand. Your eyes went wide as you watched him push them up and hold them there. The way his arms were bulging in that gray t-shirt, he was straining himself and you were tempted to tell him to be careful.
“Give me one more!” Steve encouraged him. His friend winced as that last push was almost too much for him.
“Ah, fuck,” he hissed, exhaling and grinding his teeth. He pushed those dumbbells into the air once more and even a second time, then put them down with a loud thud as rubber met the concrete floor.
You didn’t have the best view of his face from his position on the ground and your standing position over 6 feet away, but that sound...like a growl, and his bared white teeth against that strong jaw covered in stubble…it’s a sound that stirred something deep in your belly.
He jumped to his feet and did a few quick squats in those black basketball shorts. You averted your eyes from his perfect ass just as he turned around.
You wouldn’t mind if he’d been watching you dance.
-------
“Ah, fuck.”
It’s the same sound that he made now as you sit on top of him, his hips thrusting up. His fingers were digging into your hips and would likely leave a bruise, but you didn’t mind. You were Bucky’s and he was yours. You’d staked your claim with that hickey on his chest just the other night.
“Mmph, fuck, damn it. I love it when you move like that,” he grunted. You rolled your hips, earning another moan from his lips before you leaned forward and pressed your chest to his, kissing him. He wrapped his arms around you and pinned you to him as he sat up and rolled over. The grunts and squeaks coming from the two of you as Bucky repositioned himself on top were ridiculous.
“Quit giggling,” he half-laughed. “M’gonna pull a muscle in this bed, I swear.” Your head hit the pillow with a ‘oof’ and another giggle. “Dammit, babe, you make it hard to fuck you when you sound that cute.”
“Then don’t fuck me…” Bucky’s hips froze, his cock buried deep inside you. His sharp features softened with outright confusion and a slight insecurity. You reached up to caress the side of his face, the stubble on his cheek itching your palm. “Make love to me.” Bucky released a heavy sigh, rolled his eyes and collapsed on top of you.
“Don’t mess with me like that, Doll,” he whispered into your hair, using your new favorite pet name. His slow thrusts picked up again while he kept his face next to yours. You held onto him for dear life as the tension inside you continued to build until your arched back signaled your release. Bucky kept pumping until the lasting effects of your orgasm sent him over the edge. Rather than stopping completely, he slowed down until the only movement was a twitch of pleasure every now and then. “Oh my god,” he whispered, peppering kisses on your shoulder. “I’m taking you to dinner.”
“Why?” you laughed.
“I’m sorry, darlin, are you turning down a free meal? Is it the company? Do you just use me for my body?” Bucky climbed off of you but you reached out for him; He stumbled as he fully ejected himself from the bed.
“Nonono, that’s not what I said!” you said, as you continued to laugh. “I’m just wondering...if that’s your way of paying me for my services,” you wiggled your eyebrows, a hint at your teasing. Bucky snapped a finger and pointed at you, putting on his own mock serious face.
“Hooker, I’m taking you to dinner because I want to.” Having cleaned himself up, Bucky tugged on his basketball shorts and a t-shirt he’d left in your dorm room the other day. The boy considered your floor his own personal closet. “We’ve stayed in, ordered food and watched movies and you’ve even helped me with my papers. You deserve to go out to an actual restaurant.”
“Okay, well, we should probably shower before we go out.”
“Oh, I agree but I can’t share that shower with you. It was too dangerous the first time. Never again.”
You picked up your towel and toiletries as Bucky sat in a bean bag chair on your floor. You tapped him on the nose.
“Never say never, Buck,” you said with a wink.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tagging: @abbessolute @book-loving--anime-chick @faithtrustandpixiedust95 @fabinapercabeth4179 @thinkwritexpress-official @autoblocked @therealcap @mathle0matle @whoopxd @bookworm4ever99 @geeksareunique @bucky-plums-barnes @pottxrwolff @ravenhaviland @melaninspice11 @feelmyroarrrr @fvckingavengers @officialcaptain-marvel @sebbytrash
#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#bucky x reader#bucky barnes smut#my writing#marvel#college au#college au bucky barnes#sebastian stan#bucky barnes fic
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Late Night Call ♡ Jungkook
Pairing: Jungkook x Reader
Words: 2.7k
Warning: Slight smut, ex!Junkook, slight angst
Summary: Jungkook and you ended your relationship a few months ago, and although you didn’t end up in bad terms, you certainly did not expect him to use your shoulder to cry on at unholy hours only for you both to end up having a heated session of phone sex and some mixed signals afterwards.
A/N: PLEASE DON’T GO BACK TO YOUR EX IF HE/SHE WAS AN ASSHOLE OK I DO NOT ENDORSE THIS. Also, if you liked this please give it some love it means so much to me + I’m sorry I rarely post but I really liked this one so I hope you enjoy. ily
“I’m just saying, did he really had to do that?” one of your friends turned to the other dramatically explaining- or better yet, complaining about the movie you had just finished watching for your regular movie nights at your flat.
Your phone vibrated against the crystal clear surface of your coffee table, you being quick to grab it amidst giggling to what your (clearly tipsy) friends were discussing right now, the screen showing up the most unexpected series of texts you could have imagined
Kook [00:02]: hey
Kook [00:02]: u up?
Kook [00:03]: i would REALLY appreciate it if we could talk rn
Kook [00:03]: pLEase
hey : Y/N [00:04]
yeah sure, is everything okay? :Y/N [00:04]
So here’s the thing, perhaps Jungkook and you used to date a few months back and perhaps even though he wasn’t exactly what one would call a role model in being a boyfriend, things didn’t end up messy… well, at least you thought so up until the rumour of you being a complete asshole to him and ruining his mental state completely started spreading throughout campus. You still consider yourself “friends” though, at least that’s what he’d told you every time he gets pissed and texts you at unholy hours, usually because he has had some type of ‘trouble’ (which honestly is just some stupid thing like not remembering where he put that damn cup of ramen he bought just hours ago but hey, you’re not complaining, it is quite a show to listen to his stories) but once he sobers up it’s like you don’t even exist; you have bumped into him a few times on campus and the awkwardness that can be perceived from a 10 miles radius is enough to confirm for yourself that you are indeed, not his friend, just… his ‘friend’, the one he calls up in the middle of the night and the one that can’t actually bring herself to answer.
Your phone rings just as your friends are making their way out of your apartment and you answer the call, placing the mobile up to your ear with one hand as the other waves goodbye and then closes the door behind.
“Hey” his voice is soft against the speaker, almost as if he was afraid of being actually talking to you
“You’ve said that before, just spill it Jungkook” you snapped and you really didn’t mean to sound so rude, but you can’t keep your friends’ voices from reaching the back of your mind, cursing his name over and over again as they watched you collapse in the middle of every single class following your breakup. They sworn they had seen him up and about around campus and clubs, not affected at all while you cried yourself to sleep, even though the break up was bound to happen for some time and you were the one that voiced it. You were the one that broke up with him.”Sorry. What’s up? Is everything okay?”
“I-” he sighed heavily against the phone “No, actually… I didn’t know who else to go to, you know me better than anyone, Y/N you know me better than I know myself”
So maybe it was true, in the short six months that you and Jungkook dated, you had come to know each other like the back of your hands, better than the back of your own hand if we’re completely honest. There was just something screaming to be saved from this Busan boy that had a terrible reputation of well, a lot of things, but you soon learnt that you can only help someone as much as they allow it. Of course, you wanted to save Jungkook from himself, you made it pretty obvious along the months. But there was a tiny problem: Jungkook did not want to be saved. And that’s how things ended up. With you telling him that you were willing to do anything for him and him telling you to keep it to yourself. And man did it hurt your heart to hear him speak those words as if you giving yourself up to him was just some paper he could refuse to take.
“If we’re doing this, we are doing it my way Jungkook. Throw that vodka bottle away” there was a silence following and a clashing sound that had you guessing he had done as he was told. “Good boy”
“God I always knew you were the dom in the relationship. You never got to tie me up tho” you could practically hear his smirk, but deep down you knew this was all part of his facade to hide how he was truly feeling, a habit of his you were so used to
“Aish you just have to ruin everything don’t you? just go ahead and talk already”
“Okay so… oh dear it is so weird to talk about this with you, I mean you’re my ex and I just-okay” he rushed his words, and you could tell he was nervous as hell about it “So I started seeing this girl and everything was going just fine and we had date night tonight but she texted me to reschedule and” the other end of the line went quiet all of a sudden
“Jungkook?” nothing “Kook?” still nothing “Kookie?” there was a muffled sob that made your heart ache as you took your place on the soft couch of your living room “I’m still lstening, whenever you’re ready”
“Thanks.It’s just that” he laughed dryly “Stupid me, as usual, thought yeah, so she said she was tired why not go to her you know? If she says she’s tired, I’ll just take date night to her” you couldn’t help the stinging pain in your heart as he said that, when you two were together you always had to bring up ideas for dates, practically dragging him out of his dorm to spend just a few minutes with you, no monthversaries’ gifts, and it came down to a point where he wouldn’t even text you for days if you didn’t do it first. “I opened the door and-” another muffled sob “Y/N” pause “She was with another guy”
Sure, Jungkook wasn’t the best boyfriend in your experience, but he wasn’t a bad person, and he surely didn’t deserved to be treated like that “Then what happened Kook?”
“I don’t know, I started drinking here in my flat. And then well, I called you. Hi” Jungkook inhaled sharply and you knew better than to talk, letting him spill every thought “I just- Y/N, I changed, for better” this time he didn’t even try to control his sobs from hitting the speaker, making your eyes start to tear up “But I am never good enough, Y/N. Everytime I’m happy it gets taken away from me. It’s like I don’t deserve it” he went silent for a few seconds except for the small crying noises and you took this as your chance to speak truthfully to him, before his usual self started to toughen up after being vulnerable and it became nearly imposible to get through him
“Ah… Jungkook, please don’t say that. You are an amazing human being. You give your all to the people you care about. It is only fare that the universe will get you back something as good, yeah?” you sighed, feeling hot tears rolling down your cheeks “You have no idea what a beautiful person you are, truly”
“Thanks for listening, Y/N” he had almost calmed himself down completely “Anyways, how are you doing on this beautiful Friday midnight?”
“I just finished watching a movie with Y/F/N and Y/F/N”
“Ah… you still do those?” he asked referring to your movie nights, and you hummed in response “I always had this feeling that they never really liked me, you know?” he laughed faintly
“Nah… well, at least they don’t really hate you” you laughed together with him, following a slightly awkward silence
“Hey, do you still remember when you broke up with me?” Jungkook had taken a liking in teasing you with that the few times you had talked, always acting overly dramatic as to how you broke his heart and so on, at which you rolled your eyes “I can’t see you but I just know you’re rolling your eyes, lady”
“Actually no, but I do remember that time we ended up in the same frat party and how you pulled me to the dance floor only for your drunk ass to almost knock me out while you were dancing to ABBA” his laughed warmed your heart at the memory. A friend of yours had texted you the details and as much as you didn’t want to go, you complied because, you hadn’t been out ever since you and Jungkook broke up, which was a good four months ago, plus, it wasn’t far from home but to your surprise, as you rang the doorbell, the door was opened by none other than Jungkook, who was the only person you knew since your friend was busy sucking some random girl’s face off and as things got out of control you ended up eating burgers from some sketchy 24hrs place down the road.
“I told you I wanted to get back with you that night, yeah” his voice kept going lower and fainter as he spoke and he laughed dryly afterwards, “You told me no in the sweetest way possible” you could feel your face heat up at the memory, as you both ended up sitting on a couch, he started a long-ass monologue, very in character for him, on why it would be a great idea to get together again. And you wanted to believe him, you really did. But the pissed man talking his feelings out through alcohol as the only way possible to do it told you otherwise. Plus, he was a little too late, two months late. You were completely over him.
“I’m sorry okay, we were both drunk and-”
“And honestly at that moment I just wanted to get a good enough excuse to get you in bed with me, for the good old days” you weren’t sure at first if that was directed towards you or if it was just one of the many verbal vomits of his “God Y/N, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you ever since we broke up. I didn’t realise we were over until I had this urge to feel you against my skin and you weren’t there”
“Jungkook what are you talking about?” you would be lying if you said that his sudden urge and octave drop of his voice didn’t made the lower part of your body heat up, but this was getting out of control so quickly
“Do you still use that big old t-shirt to bed?”
“I have one of yours” after ending things so abruptly, a few months in you realised that he had left one of his black baggy shirts at your place and honestly, three months after the break up just didn’t seem like the perfect timing to return a shirt. You could hear his breath increasing at the other end of the line, making your legs unconsciously clench together as soon as you reached your bed
“You can’t be doing this to me baby” you knew what was coming, and you also knew you shouldn’t want it as much as you do right now. But there was just something about Jungkook that drawn you in o him, always, as much as you fought it. Even when the night was lonely and you couldn’t sleep, somehow he made it into your thoughts as you touched yourself. And this? Honestly, this just seemed like the hottest thing ever “Y/N”
“Yeah?” your voice was small compared to his, closing your eyes in an attempt to feel him closer as if that could somehow erase every tear you shed for him and have him by your side on your bed
“Can you still remember the way I used to tease you?” you only hummed at his response at which he chuckled lowly “God I wish I could just play with your tits one more time”
Your left hand made its way down your shirt up to your right breast and started pinching your nipple and massaging it, then the left one, cold hands reminding you of Jungkook’s when he used to do it “Ah...Jungkook”
“Are you touching yourself for me, baby? Are you being a good girl imagining I’m there with you?” a small moan left your lips and it was enough to send a shiver down Jungkook’s pants, his hand going for his hardened cock underneath his grey sweatpants and he couldn’t help but remember the way you used to straddle him every time he used them, it was as if history was repeating itself, only this time you were much further away “You have no idea how much I’ve missed you, Y/N. How much I’ve missed that smart mouth full of my cock when you were being a brat”
Your hand reached down your panties and started playing with your clit, the way he used to, coating your middle finger with arousal as you made sure to spread it to your folds, in a teasing manner “I really need you here Jungkook”
“I know baby, just touch yourself for me, yeah? Treat that pretty cunt of yours as if I was there” you slipped two fingers into yourself in an attempt to release the growing tension at the lower part of your belly and you let out a moan that made you thankful your roommate wasn’t home that night; on the other end of the line you could hear the increase in Jungkook’s breath, sure he was jacking himself off at your sounds “There is no feeling to compare you to, Y/N. I wanna fill you up, fuck you into nonsense until you can’t walk straight, you just wait until I get my hands on you, I’m gonna show you what you’ve been missing baby”
Silence struck again as only your heavy breathings filled both ends of the line, an occasional moan from your side and some grunts from his; a few moments went by with you pumping your fingers in and out, rubbing your clit, making an effort to make it feel the way Jungkook used to, when you felt a knot building, begging to be released “Jungkook I’m about to come”
“Come with me baby” his almost growl was enough to send you spiralling into your high, as you heard Jungkook come undone just a few seconds later.
You rested on your right side, just laying in your bed and there it was again. Silence. But this time it wasn’t awkward at all, it felt warm, almost loving, as you heard Jungkook trying to catch his breath and your eyes started to drop “Jungkook?” he only hummed in response to let you know he was listening “I’m sleepy”
You would never know about the pure feeling of adoration that he felt as soon as he heard you say that, the need to protect you, even from him overcoming each and every thought of his “So am I”
“God being single really sucks I have to get up to clean myself” you laughed as an attempt to end the conversation, not really regretting what you had just done but the thoughts of guilt for doing it and overthinking every second of it unable to stop.
“Hey! as long as I’m alive, and honestly who knows how long that will be, you’re not completely single baby” he could tell you were growing uncomfortable, he knew you that much, but there was something you needed to hear from him, just in case this was the last time you two ever talked to each other “Y/N?”
“Yeah?”
“I love you” the line went dead after those three words, leaving you confused and giddy at the same time. Jungkook just wasn’t one to drop a bomb that big, even in the eight months you were together, neither of you dared to say them, knowing deep down yourselves that you and him were just not meant to last.
“I love you too, Kook” you said to no one in particular before getting up the bed, hoping to bump into him to talk things out
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#jungkook fanfic#jungkook imagine#jungkook oneshot#jungkook headcanon#jungkook fic#bts imagine#bts oneshot#bts headcanon#bts smut#jungkook smut
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After the Midnight Hour | Chapter IV: A Fight to Remember
Pairing: Jaehyun x Reader
Word Count: 2.7k
Genre: Mafia!AU, angst, a wee bit of floof, and some heated situations?
Warnings: Blood, gore, swearing, character death, etc. Fight scenes in this chapter (yes I said scenes)
Summary: Y/N has always taken care of her sister. Her sister is all she has, but she can no longer afford it. She calls her old best friend for help where she is introduced to a loan shark. Will everything turn out alright for Y/N or will it go awry?
A/N: So sorry about the long wait!! This chapter had been done for a while but I was super insecure with my writing skill and was crazy scared to post it, but here it is!! I’ve edited this like 17 times so hopefully it turns out good! Tell me what you guys think!! P.S Tumblr mobile can suck a dick
“So are there only guys in your gang?” you asked trying to sound as casual as possible.
“Technically there are only guys within the gang itself, you would be the first girl, but some of the guys have girlfriends so there are women here if that’s what you were asking.” Jaehyun smiled as he nudged you.
“Who’s all got girlfriends?” you asked quietly.
“Well, Taeyong has a wife, and then Hansol, Taeil, Kun, Doyoung, Jungwoo, Johnny and Ten all have girlfriends.”
“Oh yeah! I can’t wait to meet Ten’s girlfriend! If someone can put up with him like that, then they are one tough son of a bitch,” you chuckled.
“What about me? I have to put up with him!” Jaehyun retorted back at you, throwing a towel at your face.
“Do you have to share a bed with him?” you smirked at him throwing the towel back.
“Touché,” he smiled. “So, umm how’d you learn to fight like that? You’re a girl, you know? Girls, don’t just fight.”
“Well, Ten and I used to spar when we were younger. I learned the basics of fighting because I was trying to overpower someone 3 years older than me, but when I got older, I had to move to a really bad part of town and needed to learn to defend myself. I learned a lot of it myself because I was able to look at peoples fighting styles from an analytical perspective. Although I did get a little help from an old boyfri-”
Your conversation was interrupted by a wave of testosterone entering the room. Dozens of feet scuttling across the hard floor, whispering questions and concerns. Mainly trying to figure out why Taeyong called them down. Stomps of steel-toed boots found their way closer and closer to you and Jaehyun, signaling that someone needed to speak to you.
“JUNG JAEHYUN!” that damn booming voice. Why did Ten have to take the fun out of every little thing you did?
“I thought she was going to be sparring me?” Ten yelled again as he pushed Jaehyun. Jaehyun, compared to his foil, remained as calm as a midnight sea. Not even bothering to respond to the older boys childishness.
This, however, seemed to bother Ten. Right before he was going to push Jaehyun again, you grabbed Ten by the ear and dragged him to the corner of the training room where you could be left scold him on your own.
“Alright, I get it!!” Ten choked out as you let go, to which you responded with a smack to the backside of his head, “ow.”
“What the hell is wrong with you? I’m not a child anymore. You don’t need to go around protecting me from all the bad in the world. I can handle myself, who the hell do you think made the choice to not spar with you?” His face contorted into that of realization but also with a little mix of fear. “Yeah, it was me, idiot.” Your scolding was interrupted by a woman stepping up next to him and hugging him. You were going to let him have it, but you could only assume the girl was his girlfriend and you didn’t want to leave a bad impression. “You’re so fucking lucky she’s here or else,” you took a deep breath and started backing up towards where Jaehyun was, “you know what, just if you do it again I’ll-”
“You’ll beat me with a shovel. Yeah, I know,” he shook his head as you walked off.
“So when does the fight start?” you questioned as you approached Jaehyun who was conversing with Taeyong.
“Y/N? Are you really fighting WinWin?” You were stopped before you could reach the two. You turned towards the voice and recognized him to be the youngest of the group.
“Yes Jwi, but I promise I’ll be fine,” you smiled as you ruffled the tall boy’s hair.
“You haven’t seen her in action!” Jaemin butted in.
“She’s badass!” Mark chuckled wrapping his arm around your shoulder.
“She was only fighting you two idiots; anyone could take you!” Haechan chuckled before Mark and Jaemin started chasing him. You smiled at the youngest boy, silently telling him you were fine before motioning him off to go hang out with his friends before returning to Jaehyun and Taeyong.
“That’s who you’re fighting,” Taeyong pointed to a moderately tall young man who was conversing with Yuta and two other people. He didn’t seem like he’d be too much of a fight, but you knew that the soft looking ones always were the ones to watch out for. You learned that the hard way.
Taeyong carefully placed a hand on your shoulder as he motioned you to the center. He slightly nodded at the man named WinWin, you figured it was a signal for him to come over to the center as well. He walked over to the center and sweetly smiled at you. You could tell almost immediately that he had a big, kind, heart, but you also knew you would 100% not want to get on his bad side. He had that look in his eyes.
“Listen up idiots! This is Y/N, she is a new member of the gang. According to Jaehyun, Mark, and Jaemin she’s a pretty impressive fighter, and from the short time I spent with her,” Taeyong winked at you before he continued on, “I can tell she has got some fire in her.”
You were so confused, just utterly confused. You turned and whispered to WinWin, “what’s with the fucking men around here acting like I’m a piece of fucking steak? What are they? Starved wolves in the midst of mating season? Is he trying to make it look like I slept with him?”
WinWin chuckled at your comment, “You’ll find that some of us are far from that.” You breathed a sigh of relief at his reassuring words, hoping it to be true. You turned back to Taeyong and continued listening to him.
“Today, she has taken it upon herself, to fight WinWin,” you heard a lot of hushed whispers, it seemed a lot of people didn’t think you could take him on. Well, at least all but the three people who just witnessed you fight. You watched Taeyong back up to where the rest of the people were and say “Well, you know, fight!”
You and WinWin turned to each other and gave the other a solemn smile. One that said that you didn’t want to hurt the other. You were in position for only a few seconds before WinWin charged at you, but you quickly moved out of the way before he could get to you, your shoe making a screeching noise as it scratched against the smooth concrete, although your efforts did not help with the outcome. WinWin swung around with a quip and managed to land a punch to your gut. The blow sent you back a few steps with a sharp pain surging through your abdomen. You analyzed his moves with haste, trying to find his weaknesses, but thinking wasn’t the best decision as a whirring noise flew closer toward you. WinWin swiped his feet under your knees and you landed on your rear with a stinging pain shooting from your tailbone and up your side. You managed to get back onto your feet with a flip before he got another shot in. You thrust your fist toward him hearing a loud crack as it made contact with his jaw. He swung back but missed as you jerked your head to the side.
The more you dodged his moves and tried getting in some hits of your own, you realized that he doesn’t have any easy weaknesses to point out. That’s why he’s NCT’s best fighter, you thought.
The wheels in your head started turning. He has no weaknesses, not unless he had one that was so obvious that people commonly overlooked it, you pondered.
You decided to try something to see if it would work. It was a shot in the dark You did a roundhouse kick, your foot hitting him point blank in the sternum. You felt the impact that shot from up your foot and into your thigh. Within seconds he fell to the ground clutching his chest.
Before he could pull himself up off the ground you had your foot placed back on top of his chest so he couldn’t. You stood over him looking him in the eyes both of you panting due to exhaustion, him quietly and slowly accepting his defeat.
You felt someone grab your right wrist and swing your arm in a quick upward motion. You were panting with sweat dripping from your pores and down your cheeks. You felt the pains coursing through your body now that your adrenaline wasn’t pumping full force. You felt the sharp aches in your ribs, the stinging in your knuckles, and the soreness in your gut. You looked to your right and saw Taeyong holding your arm up to signify that you had won. You scanned the room around you. You saw a lot of looks of disdain and confusion. Eyes and noses scrunched; eyebrows furrowed. All of them because you, a girl, just defeated their best fighter. Your kids looked so happy for you and were cheering like they were at some sort of high school football game. Jaehyun had his thumbs pointed up, signaling to you that he was proud of you. You started smiling at people’s reactions until you stopped on one in particular. Ten looked at you as if he was totally shocked that you had the ability to beat him, let alone WinWin. Seeing his reaction made your face fall exponentially. All you wanted to do was run out of the room and start crying your eyes out, but you couldn’t you had appearances to keep up.
You released your hold on WinWin and helped him up off the ground. “That was actually pretty tough. I give you props. I can definitely see why you’re their best fighter,” you smiled and excused yourself as the tears threatened to fall. WinWin definitely noticed.
You found yourself walking as far away from the training room as possible wiping the tears that ran down your cheeks trying to hide your obvious upset. You found yourself in a random hallway and you just slid down the wall quietly sobbing.
You stopped when you felt a large presence sink down beside you. It was not ominous or scary but warm and familiar. You quickly tried to hide your tears before they confronted you.
“Y/N, you don’t have to hide from us,” you turned to your side and saw Jisung, and next to him were Haechan, Jeno, and Chenle. “Tell us what’s wrong. Just because you are our mother figure doesn’t mean we can’t comfort you,” even though Jisung was only 16, he definitely had an old soul.
“Does he honestly think I’m that fragile and weak? Does he honestly think that it’s so heinous for me to be able to win that battle? God, maybe that's why we stopped talking all those years ago. Why does he seem to think that he’s in charge of me? I’m a grown woman-” you were interrupted by the presence of someone else. Jaehyun.
“Whoa, slow down there,” Jeno, Chenle, and Haechan walked away from the two of you as Jaehyun sat next down next to you on the wall, but you could still see Jisung in the back as he watched over you. “Listen, he’s probably just shocked you had that in you. Remember he hasn’t seen you fight in how long? You’re basically his little sister. He has ought to be protective of-” Jaehyun was interrupted by a booming voice you knew very well, and it was yelling at you. Ten.
“Y/N! What in the hell were you thinking? You could’ve gotten hurt!”
“You were saying?” you rolled your eyes towards Jaehyun, sighing at the fact that Ten, of course, had to go and get angry over the silliest of reasons.
“You seriously thought that was a good idea?” he was getting closer to you, yet his volume never differed. “God, you can be such an idiot sometimes!”
“Are you fucking serious right now?” At this point, you couldn’t just stand by and let him belittle you like this. “I’m not a fucking child anymore! you can’t treat me like someone that can’t take care of themselves! You are so possessive and protective over me when it isn’t necessary! Do you do that to your girlfriend? No, obviously.” Your growing voice kept getting more intense as you riled yourself up. “You have no clue what I’ve been through these past three years, and it’s not like you even tried. You’re the one who abandoned me when I needed you most!”
“Ok, that’s it, you’re coming with me,” Jaehyun pointed at you, “Ava, you take him. No arguing right now,” Jaehyun picked you up and threw you over his shoulder. As he started to walk off, you turned to look at Ten.
“Please, Rolly Polly, I did it for you.” God, that son of a bitch, you thought, now I have to forgive him. You and Ten had nicknames for each other since you were both young, and each one meant something different. You had nicknames for almost every situation that you two may not want the world to know about. Sometimes they were questions, or they were demands that the other had to follow no matter what. When Ten calls you Rolly Polly it means I fucked up, I’m sorry, and it also is a nickname that requires the other to forgive them without hesitation, just like if you called him Chipmunk. He’s only ever used it once, which means he knows that he really screwed up. The only other way to let the other know you understand/forgive them/say yes is to respond with the corresponding nickname. Like when Ten called you Rolly Polly you would respond with “Chipmunk” in some form or another.
Except for this time, you didn’t have time to respond to Ten as Jaehyun literally had you swung over his shoulder and dragged you away.
You could’ve gotten out of his grip if you wanted to but you didn’t want to hurt him so you just quietly hung there like a sloth after a long day in the heat.
“Why the hell did you grab me?” you yelled at him as he placed you down in his room. “I’m not a toy nor am I your property. I’m a grown girl, I can handle things on my own.”
“Don’t get angry with me. All I did was take you away from him, and plus you have a mission to get ready for. Your outfit and all the things you might need are on the bed. Lena and Ava will be here in about an hour or so to do your makeup. Then Taeyong will review everything, and we leave.”
“I need to take a shower,” you muttered.
“Shit,” he huffed, “I didn’t even think of that. My bathroom is right there. I have some shampoo and stuff in there. I’ll be there in a little bit with some towels, okay? I promise I won’t look unless you want me to.”
“Gross. That was gross,” you scoffed at him as you walked into his bathroom. It was fairly big compared to what you were used to. You scanned the brown tile room, taking in your surroundings before locating the shower. You shed your tattered clothes gradually and stepped into the shower. It was still a little wet and it smelled of men’s shampoo, or at least what you thought men’s shampoo would smell like.
You turned it on, slid down the wall, and just started quietly sobbing. The walls you had built starting to crash all around you. All the fear, pain, and heartache gushed out of you.
Tag List: @atwoodscott @jewel-s-blog @sondontdothat @eggjorp Let me know if I missed you or if you’d like to be added to the tag list!! Please give me feedback, I love when you guys do!!
#nct imagines#prettyboysnetwork#kwritersworldnet#nct mafia au#nct scenarios#nct#nct 127 imagines#nct 127 mafia au#nct 127 scenarios#nct angst#nct smut#nct fluff#nct 127 fluff#nct 127 smut#nct 127 angst#nct u imagine#nct u mafia au#nct u scenarios#nct u fluff#nct u angst#nct dream imagines#nct dream mafia au#nct dream scenarios#nct dream angst#nct dream fluff#jung jaehyun#jung yoonoh#jaehyun mafia au#jaehyun imagines#jaehyun scenarios
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Know Your Worth
[gif goes to who ever made it and posted it, couldn’t find one that would fit this fic, so this was close enough.]
Pairing: Dean x Katie/Reader
Summary: Katie has been talking with a guy she met online, Facebook’s Mobile dating addition. They scheduled a date to meet. But, things don’t go well.
Warnings: Angst, Dean being awesome and fluffy, Fluff.
A/N: This is a rough, but am confident to post on here. This is base on something that had actually happened to me personally. And let me just say this, guys…not cool. Don’t be dicks. Girls I know ya’ll do it too. Quit it. You know what you want, go for it. Don’t be playing with your food…that didn’t sound right, but same concept/deal. Don’t play. OK, rant over. Enjoy, let me know what you think.
Check out my main masterlist
And my first major series has it’s own masterlist.
~
It was just another day at the office for the Winchester’s.
A hunt takes the boys across country, Katie is forced back to stay at the bunker because Dean said so, the hunt goes wrong, and someone’s hurt. It’s the usual.
She keeps up with the boys as they hunt the darkness. Texting Dean or Sam. But her phone is buzzing today. Facebook has come out with a dating app. More like a dating addition if your on your phone because PC doesn’t have it. (Non nerds…PC means PERSONAL COMPUTER. Not the operating system Windows. PC can refer to a laptop or a desktop. Not an Apple OS or a Windows OS. ‘KAY. Kay.)
She was getting a ton of likes, some just seeming like out of her league. And others seemed legit. One sweet guy, with a simple summary. ‘Just a simple man looking for a simple girl’.
Katie couldn’t help but smile and laugh as Simple Man by Lynyrd Skynyrd played in her head. And she hit like.
Messages her right away asking her about her night so far.
‘Going good, just making my roommates some food for when they come back from their trip. How about you?’
She keeps up a good conversation. Learning he likes the comedy show Mom. He has two large dogs, he coaches kids teams track and baseball. And does political work in her local town.
Then came the inevitable.
‘Do you want to meet?’ he asks.
Her heart nearly skips a beat.
The boys wouldn’t mind. Dean said their coming home tonight. So someone’s home.
‘Yeah, how’s this weekend sound?’ she asks.
‘I got plans this weekend.’ He responds back.
‘Okay that’s okay, we’ll try next weekend or something.’ She mentions.
And he asks questions about her. A lot of questions. Getting to know her. She’s freaking out. No guy has ever given her this much attention, asked this much about her. But she kept her cool, answering truthfully.
Things seemed like they were going to hit off just fine.
-
Days slowly passed, he still messaged her. Messaging her good morning, how was her day. He was earning himself some date number 2’s and 3’s before the first one could even be planned. She felt like she was important. Like she could be something to him.
Dean didn’t even notice how much time she was spending on her phone.
Neither was Sam, the two just were so busy.
He offered to be friends on Facebook. She accepted and used Facebook messenger instead. At least this way she can see if he’s read the message or if he’s ignoring her.
A day goes by.
She couldn’t take it anymore. She wanted to meet him. Get a feel for the guy, is this a guy she likes? Could he be the one? She wanted to get a vibe off of him.
‘I’m free this coming weekend, how’s that look for you?’ she asks.
As the day presses on, he see’s the message. Seeing the little notification on Facebook messenger he’d read the message.
A few days pass then he responds.
‘I am free. That’ll work.’ He says.
‘How about we meet at Starbucks for a little coffee, meet and greet?’ she asks.
More days pass as the date nears. Dean begins to notice.
“You expecting something Katie?” Dean asks. Just two days before the date.
“Just waiting to hear back from this guy I met online.” She says.
“You what?” Dean goes.
“Dean, it’s fine. I know what I’m doing. Just, don’t worry.” She tells him.
She puts away her phone. Giving up for the day. He hadn’t seen the message yet. But has been online on Facebook.
“Anything on the darkness?” she asked him.
“No, nothing. Sam’s just looking up cases now. Maybe we might run into her or something.” He says.
Katie nodding.
“So, have you met him yet.” Dean goes. sounding a tad irritated.
“Nope. That’s what I’m waiting to hear back on. We got a date picked out its just the matter of where and what time.” She says.
“And when’d you ask him this?” he asked.
“Just now and he hasn’t replied. He just responded to me not minutes ago and now he’s not saying anything.” She says.
“Just, allow the message to simmer in his inbox. Let him get the notification you know.” Dean says. Picking up on how up tight she’s getting. Almost desperate.
“I know. It’s just, you can’t plan this stuff and not respond. My anxiety needs to know these things.” she groans.
Dean giggling. Earning a smile from her.
“There’s that smile.” He says. “Give it time. And if things don’t pan out, you’re still young.” He adds.
Yeah, I’m still young. That’s what you wanna tell a girl my age. I don’t feel young. She thought.
The date is drawing near. He hasn’t seen it. He hasn’t replied back.
In the library she debates on whether or not to message him asking him again. but decides not to.
“The message is right fucking there on your phone, you’d think you can see it.” she groans.
“What?” Sam goes.
The two had been sitting in the quiet library. Reading up on the darkness.
“Nothing, just this guy I met online. Well, I haven’t met him in person. It’s like Tinder. Only it’s Facebook.” She says.
“Oh, yeah. Dean told me.” Sam says.
“It’s been almost a week Sam and he hasn’t seen it yet. You’d think he’d seen the message by now.” Katie says, almost whining.
“You would think that. But there are guys that just play with girls’ feelings you know. And there are guys who are just busy.” Sam says.
“Sam, I’ve been messaging him on Facebook. You can see if he’s read the message, and if he’s online and active on Facebook.” She says. But slouches, feeling down. “He’s probably play with me.” She adds.
Sam just gives her a sad knowing look. Knowing his friend is hurt.
It’s the day before the date. He hasn’t let her know of anything. Or acknowledged her message in any way by reading it.
Sam and Dean got a case with Sully to go on. Sam’s old imaginary friend. She sits this case out. And heads to her room and just hangs out.
Once Sam and Dean return, they noticed a lot of things different and off.
They entered the kitchen, nothing had been touched. No food was made.
“Where’s Katie?” Sam asked.
“Not a clue.” Dean goes.
“Maybe she’s on her date.” Sam says.
“Sam that was two days ago.” Dean says.
“Maybe they hit it off, I don’t know. Go check her room.” Sam says.
Dean drops off his duffle in the war room on the map table. And heads to her room a few doors down from Dean’s room.
As he nears her room he notices her door is shut.
He lightly knocks a few times. He hears a muffled hum. Signaling he can come in.
He opens the door to a dark room.
She’s laying on her stomach on her bed. Her head facing at the foot of the bed where she lay on top of a pillow watching, from what Dean can hear some grown men screaming on her laptop.
When he rounded the corner of the bed to sit beside her he saw she was watching YouTube, a Markiplier video of him playing FNAF Help Wanted VR. Looks hilarious, only she’s not laughing. He had caught glimpses of her eyes being red and puffy, her cheeks shiny from tears staining them.
“Sweetheart, talk to me.” He says softly. As he placed a hand on her shoulder, rubbing her shoulder and back in comfort.
“He never got back to me. Nor has he seen my message. I sent him just one word to him, just saying ‘bye’, and I unfriended him by blocking him.” She says.
“There you go, to hell with him.” Dean says. Patting her back.
“Dean,” she says sitting up.
He stops patting her, touching her, allows her to adjust and get comfortable again.
“I know I have never been on a date, never put myself out there. But once I do, I mean, I don’t know. Hell, when I flirt with the cute guy in high school, it feels like I scare them off.” She says.
She fights hard to not cry anymore.
“What is wrong with me?” She says finally. Tears filling up in her eyes.
Dean looked at her, hurt because his best friend is hurt.
“Not a damn thing.” He says surely.
“You are you. That’s what makes you unique. You are kind, you are gorgeous, you have a heart of gold. And you are an amazing cook. You are hella strong, you carry more weight than we all realize. We unload our shit to you, and you take it off us and help us. You are our rock. And, it doesn’t take much to message back. It was sitting in his inbox. And he just ignored it because he’s a dick and didn’t know what he wants. And you know what, he doesn’t deserve you.” He says.
She felt her heart well up in size hearing his words.
“You are a good person and deserve better. You deserve someone who can give you the world. You deserve someone who can take the weight off your shoulders, who can help you when you need it, be your rock. You deserve a fucking man, not a boy.” He adds.
She smiled.
“Thanks Dean, that means a lot.” She says. Wiping the tears away.
“So, how ‘bout I take you out to dinner tonight.” He says.
She looks at him wide eyed.
“That’s right, I’m asking you out sweetheart, whatchya gonna do about it?’ he says with a smirk.
“But, Dean…” she trails.
“I’m 13 years younger than you.” She worries.
“Age is just a number.” He says.
“I’ve never been on a…” she trails again.
“It’s okay, we’ll take it as slow as it needs to go.” He says.
Boy, he’s determined. She thought.
“You like me, don’t you?” she asked.
“I have for a long time sweetheart. Ever since we saved you from those werewolves, and you saved us from the Djinn.” He says.
“Okay, where are we going and what time?” she asked.
“I’ll take you to the where, and for the time, how about…8:00?” he asks.
“Dean that’s in like, 5 minutes.” She says, seeing the clock read 7:55 pm.
“Well then, better get dressed sweetheart, you have a date to go on.” He says with an ear to ear grin.
He get’s up to let her change. And just as he got to her door he stops.
“Hey, sweetheart?” he gets her attention.
She turns to face him.
“I’m proud of you.” He says.
She chuckles.
“For what?” she asks with a smile, confused a bit.
“For not giving him a second chance. I know that sounds like some douchey thing to say but, some girls would just give guys like this a second chance, doing that would just hurt ten times worse. You know your worth, and there’s nothing wrong with that.” He says.
She smiles, ear to ear.
“Thanks Dean.” She says.
~
this is based of an actual thing that has happened to me yesterday. when doing online dating especially on facebook, don’t give too much, don’t get suckered into anything they’re giving you. always meet someplace public and crowded so people can see you. Be careful when online dating. Know your worth. Don’t just settle. If they don’t get back to you on anything, like a meeting time, place and date. Don’t waste your time. On to the next one.
-
WARNING!
Copying and reposting someone else’s content is plagiarism and illegal. This work is property of supernaturallyobsessedchic. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. These works contain material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of these works may be reproduced in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from the author / publisher. An electronic reference link to the original posted work may be provided for purposes of promotion or assistance of publication by the readers discretion, if proper credits are given to the author in the re-post. 12/8/19
#spn fanfiction#spn fan fiction#spnfanfiction#spn fan fic#spn fanfic#spnfanfic#dean winchester#supernatural#supernatural fan fiction#supernatural fanfiction#supernaturalfanfiction#supernatural fan fic#supernatural fanfic#supernaturalfanfic#deanxreader#dean x reader#spn angst#spn fluff#spn drabble#spn short#spn fandom#spn family#spn fandom family#spnfandom#spnfamily#spnfandomfamily
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the silver lining still remains: ch. 8
what hides in ephemera
SUMMARY: He looks at her and he understands, all at once, why Markus paints.
A Connor x F!OC fanfic. Read on AO3. master post.
((sorry mobiles…there IS a read more!))
---
Emma is bundled in a black car with two UN officers and Simon. Connor watches as they drive away down the idyllic cobblestone driveway in the back of the house, hand up in farewell, mouth pressed into a line. He swears he can see Emma watching him through the back window, her brown eyes like two points of warmth, until the car is far down the road. But perhaps it is wishful thinking. A useless process. A dangerous one.
[MISSION FAILURE] [MISSION FAILURE] [MISSION FAILURE]
Markus…
She’s under our protection now. We don’t have a choice.
Don’t make me leave her alone.
She won’t be alone. But we’re going to need you. And you can’t put that on her.
[MISSION ACCEPTED: REDIRECT EFFORTS TOWARD INVESTIGATION]
[MISSION ACC*&$&^^????/////]
[INTERFERENCE DETECTED.]
Emma is not an interference.
Your people are depending on you.
Don’t you remember? The nothing you feared...once so long ago on a winter’s night...it was there. It was in that android’s eyes.
[MOVE.]
He remembers beginning to walk. He does not recall the journey. He is suddenly at the conference table in House Manfred mid-conversation, Markus standing before the group, talking of press statements and political strategy, silhouetted by the rising sun.
Abel is close to getting what he wants and all you can do is watch her leave.
“We arrange an op,” North says, as if that settles everything.
“We’re under extreme scrutiny right now,” Josh counters. “We can’t afford to do anything under the table.”
Connor can’t stop parts of his body from moving. His leg bounces in his chair. His fingers twist and twist and twist together...
“What are we supposed to do?” North’s voice, pitching higher. “We can’t wait. He’s already made his first move. He’ll just keep making everything worse !”
Markus raises his hands in conciliation. Connor nearly jolts out of his chair when he realizes Markus has been watching him this whole time.
“What does he want?” he asks Connor. “Does he just hate us? I mean, what’s the apparent leverage here?”
“Ms. Cho believed it may have had something to do with Emma’s parents and their knowledge of Genesis Biotech,” he says as if by rote. “A Project Nazirite that may or may not exist.”
Something triggers his lie detector -- it’s the closest process that makes any sense. Hank would perhaps call it a hunch. Because Emma’s made it clear that she knows next to nothing about what her parents would have done, and nothing about her life screams “hoarding secrets” other than the itinerant life she inherited. Can Abel truly afford to risk everything for a daughter that may know nothing at all?
That can’t be it, can it?
That can’t be the only reason he’d inflict this horrorshow on everyone?
“Well, that doesn’t...help us,” Markus admits. “We need more information before we act. Josh, what’s the schedule?”
Josh lists appearances on television networks, interviews with approved press outlets and the potential delaying of the Remembrance Ceremony. The to-do list is long. The day has barely begun -- or perhaps it’s never ended, still tripping over yesterday’s track, skipping like one of Hank’s old tape decks, over and over and over.
Carisa’s autopsy. Examining their cyber defenses. Triple vetting Emma’s new UN guards. Calling Kamski about the androids…
He thinks of the darkness in their gazes, the nothingness, the disappearance of who they might have been, and fear rips his processors apart.
It sounds like Carisa’s dying shrieks. It sounds like Emma, screaming no.
---
The guards, somewhat obvious in white and dark blue, hover just outside Valerie’s office at the old Detroit municipal center, small but white-bright and warm, lined with thin windows -- a hold over from an older era. Colorful cross stitch patterns peek over the shelves behind the desk, spouting various ironic phrases, including one framed with tulips that said “When life shuts a door, open it again, that’s how doors work.”
Valerie watches, a perfectly manicured hand tapping her dark-tawny cheek, as anger simmers around Emma like exhaust fumes.
Everything is all wrong, now, but no one expects her to do anything except...wait. Answers feel just out of her reach. Her group, her Corps , is completely thrown under the bus by some freak, likely the same freak who stole Raina’s life away and prompted Carisa’s brain to melt out of her skull, and she’s left to muddle through it, wordless and tired, without Connor.
And now...
“So all that work I did was for nothing, after all,” Emma mutters. Her frustration strains the edge of her voice.
“I said the ceremony is delayed, not cancelled.” Valerie’s thin gold bracelets chime as she gestures to a chair in front of her desk for the third time. Emma shakes her head. Valerie casts an unreadable look to Simon, who hangs by the window.
“It’s on the same day as Veteran’s Day, anyway, so we’d been talking of choosing a different date to prevent...battle with other emotional displays of patriotism,” Simon says, voice dry.
“That’s not why,” Emma says flatly, unable to look at either of them. “You’re letting him win.”
Valerie narrows her eyes. “Sweetheart, sit down before I write you up.”
Emma glares at the floor but she complies, flopping into the plush magenta chair before Valerie’s desk. She has at least enough sense not to put her job in jeopardy because she was feeling flighty. But only just enough. “We can’t just do nothing.”
“We’re not doing nothing,” Valerie says. Her tone is pointed, even for her city-born sharpness. “But we can’t do something half-baked. Don’t be stupid with me, honey.”
Emma crosses her arms to hold it all in, thinking of the chaos. And though she feels the same pressing desperation filling her lungs that she’s felt for weeks on weeks on weeks, the same strange desolation from being shunted off for her own supposed safety, she pushes her tongue to the top of her mouth and says nothing at all. She can’t stop hearing Carisa screaming in her head.
“What we need is a more immediate and individual way to signal our unity,” Simon says, as ever seeking the common ground. “And that may mean we just keep working hard. Setting up a good foundation.”
“That won’t keep the kids’ morale up,” Valerie admits, pulling a tablet to her desktop. “We gotta spin it better than that. And that still leaves Emma with nothing to do.”
“What about the HAIT?” Emma says. Her unlicensed dalliances with the HAIT are fodder for jokes amongst the Corps, but Valerie doesn’t even crack a smile and Emma doesn’t feel much like joking, anyway.
“What about it?” Valerie asks, eyes still on her tablet.
Emma taps the arm of the chair. “We’ve not really done as much as we could with it.”
“We haven’t had much time to experiment with it,” Simon says, tone neutral.
Humans and androids. What do they offer each other?
What does she do for Connor?
“And the name...I mean, it’s all there. Human-Android interfacing,” she says into the quiet. “I could help with that. I’m already approved--”
Valerie sets the tablet down suddenly and turns her gaze, dark as mahogany, on Emma. “Do you really think you are in a state to use the damn HAIT, Emma?”
Emma leans back in her chair. “What? Yeah--”
“You’ve barely been sleeping, I can see it in your face.” Valerie’s expression is hard as tiger’s eye. “You really wanna take on everyone else’s problems on top of that?”
Something inside her starts shivering. “It’s easier when it’s not me,” she says, shocked into truth by Valerie’s blunt nature. “And you know I understand it. I’m not a counselor but--”
“Exactly, and that’s reason enough I should say no,” Valerie snaps. She sighs, perhaps noticing the crack that forms in Emma’s facade. “...you haven’t had a thorough psych check by one of our own, for starters...”
“We have a number of androids who specialized in psychological evaluation looking for work,” Simon volunteers. “It may be good for you to speak with one, anyway, Emma.”
Emma sinks further into her chair when he says her name, finding it impossible to look into those giant icy eyes. They see everything. “If I do this,” Emma says, hardly able to believe her own words as they come out of her mouth, “and I go to a counselor, can I at least help test the HAIT?”
Valerie looks at her over tortoiseshell glasses. She’s silent for so long that Emma is sure she is about to point toward her office door. But then she relents.
“Something’s eatin’ you, honey,” she says, voice dangerously kind. “We’ll cross that bridge when we get there. But,” she says, lifting a hand to stop Emma, mouth open in protest, “I’ll keep it on the docket. For now. If you see someone.”
--
True to his word, Simon arranges Emma a meeting with a counselor. Same day.
She tries to drown her fear with determination. If she has to be treated like a bomb waiting to trigger, maybe, finally, she can do something useful while time ticks down.
The counselor is a lovely android woman named Natalie, with warm hazel eyes and blonde hair set in a soft wave. Her smile is perfectly charming and her voice utterly disarming. Her LED spins yellow a moment as she overlooks Emma’s Corps profile.
Emma presses her body firmly into the burgundy, itchy sofa, looking intently at the scraggly carpet of the back office of a Corps-established medical center. She plants her feet on the floor and thinks, pointedly, of her toes.
“I’m glad to see you, Emma,” Natalie says, with a tone of warm sincerity Emma can’t help but take seriously in turn. “Everything you say will be confidential. I’ll simply provide an answer to Corps regarding whether or not you are capable of using the HAIT devices.”
The questions start, and she’s struck by their familiarity. Where were you born? Somewhere not far from Detroit, actually. Where did you live? All over the map. How would you describe yourself? Hard-working, reliable, busy as fuck, honestly a little over this not-being-able-to-help situation, kind of helpless right now, generally, if we’re being real. Which I guess we are. Do you have any siblings? Not that I know of.
What was your relationship with your parents like? They were...my rock. Yes, they’re dead now. I was 18 when it happened. Yes, I still think about it… Do you have any living family? My aunt and uncle, but I’m not allowed to talk to them just yet. You know about all that, right? My whole...situation?
Natalie just nodded sweetly at that.
Tell me about your past experience with psychotherapy. Well...I had a grief counselor for a while after my parents died. And...when I was really young I had a therapist after I was adopted. I don’t remember a lot from it, though.
Suddenly, the questions stop. Natalie looks down at her tablet for a long moment. Emma clutches her knees at this unusual pause. It stretches, on and on.
“Emma, can you tell me your very first memory?”
Emma blinks, face burning, but she clears her throat and dives in: She’s six years old, “helping” bring groceries inside, when she drops the single thing she is carrying -- a goldenrod gallon of milk -- on the floor. It breaks instantly, splattering all over the linoleum in the kitchen. The bright trill of anxiety still rings as clear today as it did then: her abject fear that mom and dad would send her away forever for a simple mistake, like she had to prove her worth. She remembers her dad’s startled laugh at the sight, in fact. Little bug, it’s okay. Why are you crying over spilled milk?
Natalie nods down at her tablet a moment. “You know what is very interesting, Emma, is that that’s the same memory you told your counselors when you were seven years old.”
Emma’s blood turns to ice, even if the importance of that doesn’t slot in properly. “What’s interesting about that? How do you know that?”
“I found your old files from your last counselor. It took me a little searching.” Natalie leans back, face betraying no emotion, even as Emma feels the world stutter to a stop. “Memory loss from time is natural. It’s how human brains sort through information. So it would make sense that, at 26, that would be your clearest original memory. But at 7...one would expect you’d remember something from your time as a three-year-old, perhaps. But you never have.”
Her foot begins to tap against the floor. “Well, I was adopted. Mom and dad always said it was probably because of...foster care experiences or whatever. I was in therapy pretty much from when I can remember until about nine years old…”
Natalie nods, confirming this on her tablet. Her brow crinkles, the only emotional tell on her face. “Tell me about your experience with that.”
A memory comes shaking out of the dirt. “I, uh, used to have night terrors as a kid. And...a lot of phobias.” Lightning, crashing, screaming into a pillow, everything hurts. “And then I didn’t. I honestly...” She thinks back, as far as she can go, but it’s like trying to wipe tar off a window. “I don’t remember much of it. Just that it was.”
Natalie’s hazel eyes rest on Emma in a way that makes her lean into her chair, like she could see far back into her head -- all the way back, as far as the film will go. “There are notes in your record that point to hypnotherapy. Did you know about that?”
Emma gulps down the stilted air of the room and for a long moment, finds herself unable to speak.
“No. What’s it for?”
“It’s...controversial, but it has been historically used to help patients with various anxiety disorders walk through traumas that may underpin some of their worst anxious impulses. Some scholars in the field...though there are few...believe it could also be used to change your perception of an impulse, such as pain. But keep in mind that not all scholars agree that it does what it says it does.”
Emma settles back in her chair as the weight of this hits her. “Are you...sure?”
“Unless your record through the blockchain is lying, I am sure, yes. And if it is a lie, it’s a strange one.”
“But I don’t remember it.”
Natalie adjusts her legs, pinned together in a pencil skirt. “I know,” she says softly. “And that’s the part that confuses me the most. You’re supposed to be taught tools in hypnotherapy you can apply in your daily life. You’re supposed to remember it.”
“Maybe it’s just...one of those kid things,” Emma says, half-hearted, and her face falls when she sees Natalie’s pained, subtle frown.
“Maybe,” Natalie says.
The events of the past few days click by in her head. Electricity. Fire. The shadow of the company is long. They didn’t have friends. Two bright stars.
How much would remain outside her reach forever? What didn’t her parents want her to know?
“Can I get those memories back?”
Natalie’s LED spins a bright, solid yellow for a good 10 seconds. “I am trained in hypnotherapy, but there would be no guarantees whatsoever.”
“Let’s do it,” Emma says, not giving herself time to think.
“Hold on. It’s very important to consider, Emma…” Natalie extends a conciliatory hand outward. “There might be nothing there. Or maybe you forgot for a reason. Sometimes the brain does this to protect you, and there’s nothing to be gained from opening old wounds. You might just find pain.”
Emma shrugs. She’d been toeing the deep end of the pool of things she didn’t like ever since she got shot. “It’s better than the nothing I have.”
Natalie smiles so sadly that it sends chills through her spine. “It might not be.”
--
The cold settles on Connor’s sensors, just like before, snow sharpening the silhouette of the house like before. There is a human saying about this feeling, this unease settling in the pit of his abdomen, on the back of his neck -- it all makes one hairs stand on end.
Elijah Kamski’s smirk (holding out a gun like so, the Kamski test, he says, like it means something to Connor) is an etching out of ash -- the dark remains of a flashbomb on his memory cores that comes from a center point: this geometric block of obsidian etched into the lakeside landscape that Kamski calls a home.
[&^&^*INSTABILITY]
An important distinction separates this visit from the last: Elijah called them to him.
No offense, Connor, but do you think DPD’s Cybercrime Division has the best encryption protection money can buy? On the city’s dime? Doubtful.
“Our maker lives here, huh,” Josh says. He holds his limbs close to his body despite not feeling the cold. “It looks like a bunker for the end of the world.”
But Kamski’s facilities for technological study, tucked into an underground laboratory lit by diffused blue light, are indeed top of the line. Kamski gestures toward the set up, allowing Josh access to the various haptic panels connected to a clear tube. Empty glass tubes of various sizes, all the way to something that could fit something the size of an android, line the wall.
Josh shuts up. Connor’s doubts intensify.
Carisa’s brain implant sits in the attached tube -- clear of blood and brain matter, but still caked with a strange kind of rust. Charring? A vague resistance repulses his programming from scanning it directly.
Twilight had barely set in and somehow Kamski had pulled enough strings to prompt an expedited autopsy and forward that evidence directly to his home -- with Connor’s express approval, of course, but…
It all sits wrong, like puzzle pieces jumbling in a plastic bag.
Kamski’s interest could be explicitly business. The situation with the blue blood patent would be aggravating for any sharp-eyed inventor. But Kamski, who is usually never without his advantage, takes a strange tack these days. Showing up in public. Taking at least a feigned interest in android welfare. This…
“What do you get out of this?” Connor asks the man. Kamski, understated in a maroon v-neck and dark jeans, stands to the side, arms crossed in front of his chest. He looks askance to Connor. Something deeply dark flickers there.
“Well, Detective, ” he says, spitting out Connor’s role, pushing him back with formality, “I’ve been doing some searching of my own. Some remembering.”
Connor raises an eyebrow. “Explain.”
Kamski looks away, far off into elsewhere. “In 2022, we were looking to expand...and one company in dire straits came to me. I was 20 years old and thought I knew everything. Even more than I do now.” A snort. “We took them all in. Hired them for their biotech expertise, took their warehouse and started developing androids for mass production right here in Detroit…”
[CONSTRUCTING...]
[PROFILE COMPLETE.]
Connor takes a step toward Kamski. “Genesis Biotech.”
“They were calling themselves something else, then,” Kamski says. “Jubilee Technologies, I think. But I asked Josh to look into it for me and my suspicion was right. They shared many of the same executives, one of which is still on the Cyberlife board, today. Even with the state it’s in.”
Josh continues to work on the computer interface.
“Either someone turned on me and pulled one of the longest cons of recent memory to create a poor reconstruction of my thirium recipe,” Kamski continues. “Or I sheltered something else.” A pointed look at the implant, stained with human effluence.
Connor struggles to reconcile this man with the one who was willing to risk Chloe’s death -- the same Chloe he kindly asked to remain upstairs. “What if it has nothing to do with you?” Connor asks, sharper than he expects. “You left Cyberlife.”
Another snort from Kamski. But then he frowns, like he’s watching a memory tinged with blue -- like a ghost is waiting when he shuts his eyes. “Everything with androids has something to do with me.” His frown turns into a dark smirk, and that flash of melancholy is gone.
“Holy shit,” Josh says -- the first exclamation from him since he began his work. “I’m finally in.”
Connor and Kamski both gather around his navy dark interface as white code begins to cross the screen. “Holy shit…” Josh says again, but his tone shifts downward -- from excited curiosity to horror in an instant.
Kamski blinks a few times, brows furrowing in annoyance. “I’m not sure what you’re seeing here.”
“Are those old firewall scripts?” Connor asks.
“Yes...okay. You might want to be sitting down for this one, Connor,” Josh says, but Connor finds this notion ridiculous and does not move. Luckily, it appears to be only an expression. “She had access to all of our data at some point...I’m trying to work backward on access logs.”
All of our data?
“Including everything on Emma’s case? On all the disappearances?” Connor presses. All of their careful investigations into the fake companies, all of their studies on the taken androids, all of their notes on Emma’s status and where she is living...
“Yes. I...oh god.” Josh steps back from the computer a moment, and Connor feels a deep, instantaneous thrum of red-hot energy sweep his systems. What? What? Kamski, too, leans inward, looking like an iceberg 2.3 seconds away from angrily snapping apart.
“From what I can tell,” Josh continues, “Carisa had figured out we were doing some intel on her through some base trolling of our datastreams, so she dug deeper. That’s why I was seeing more data sweeps. That’s why she approached Emma. I think she knew we were onto her, and she knew her...business partner wanted Emma for some reason, so she decided to act on her own accord. To find a better deal.”
“A solid analysis.” Connor does his best to keep his impatience out of his tone.
Josh points to his lines of code. “So at some point she goes back and does some reconnaissance of her own on Genesis Biotech, pulling up all sorts of old files. Old addresses, personnel…”
“That must have been when she summoned the information on the tablet,” Connor says, unsure where he’s going with this.
“But when she did that--” Josh points to a particularly angry line of code that makes both Connor and Kamski recoil slightly. Clear signs of firewall breakage. “Someone got the message and started hacking back, using that connection she’d formed with the data streams to take info from her, instead. All of what Carisa saw on our stuff.” Josh puts a hand up. “I cannot say enough how impressive this hacking is. It’s insanely good. Nigh impossible access to wetware and almost at an instant. Someone that knew about her and likely had warning triggers on that information. Even top of the line hackers couldn’t get this far without that insight.”
The reconstruction sequence begins in his head. Blocks form, fast-forwarding through time, space, backward, forward...
“Abel,” Connor breathes.
“But why didn’t he just do that before?” Kamski presses, cool and logical. “Why wait, in that case? He clearly had the androids trailing her.”
“The announcement,” Connor says. “He saw an opportunity to sow resentment. But why wait until the moment of truth?”
“Wetware interfaces are banned for a reason,” Kamski explains. “They’re hard to hack because bizarre organic connections start forming that literally no one can explain or predict properly. But any hacking that does break through can threaten the entire organic function.”
Josh points to where the coding abruptly ends. “A dump began here, like a hard reset, but it didn't complete. That action plus the android electrocuting her must have literally overloaded her system.” A horrified pause. “Melted her brain.”
“That’s what the autopsy confirms,” Kamski mutters.
“He literally threw her away!” Josh says, aghast. “Just to make a point?”
Kamksi shrugs, a put-upon act of nonchalance that his widened eyes betrays. “That's business for you.”
But Connor can say nothing else. He feels a realization wrapping tightly around his throat.
Abel knows.
He doesn’t just know Carisa betrayed him. He knows they’re on his trail. He knows everything they know about the investigation. He knows where Emma is being kept.
He knows everything.
--
I don't want to leave my friend, momma.
I know, baby, I know. But you want to go on an adventure, right? We’re going to see the whole world.
Her mother's hands are soft and warm against her cheeks, thumbs rubbing her cheekbones. Sterile white light shines just beyond her mother's round face, her big brown eyes, her smile that makes Emma’s whole heart yearn for the sun. For a hug. She reaches her small arms outward.
Only if Momma and Dadda are there.
Momma picks her up off the ground and squeezes her so tightly she forgets to breathe. Forgets the fear squeezing all of her insides. Forgets everything that's ever hurt her, if only for a moment.
I love you so much, baby girl.
Love you more, Emma says, certain.
Momma pokes Emma’s nose. Let's go find Dadda. Remember our secret?
Emma.
Emma!
Emma!
She gasps into consciousness, head lulling on cold tile. Someone's hands are tight around her upper arms. She blinks hard, twice, to clear the fuzz in her vision before she realizes who is leaning over her.
Connor, back-lit by Hank’s yellow kitchen lighting, looks down upon her like she’s fallen down from somewhere.
Her body floods with such intense warmth that she smiles against her will. Relief.
He's finally here…the mold of some angel, sculpted from the sky…
“Why are you on the floor?” he asks, shaken. Her smile falters.
She leans up on her elbows, and for a moment their faces are close enough that their noses nearly touch. The world still spins with the thickness of sleep. The relief coursing through her system pulses to the rhythm of one of Hank's old jazz songs playing from the living room. But why does he look so afraid?
“Hank said you'd probably come here first...but he went to bed...”
And I had to see you after the day I had.
She swallows those words back, swallows down the slow heat building everywhere in her body, the old fears, the new ones.
He finally leans away far enough that she can sit upright.
“You were thrashing,” he says, voice flat. “I thought something happened…”
“I was just asleep,” she says. Her eyes finally fall on the cardboard box of items next to her, labeled FRAGILE. The real world outside this moment of time, this moment alone in the kitchen with the person she'd been waiting for, comes rushing back. A pause. “You really think someone somehow snuck in past both the UN guards and Sumo?”
He doesn't smile at all, and neither does she. His hands are still around her arms. Something amorphous and shadowy chases the light in the back of his eyes.
He finally breaks away and looks into the box. His mouth twitches downward, but his voice is soft. “What are all these?”
She'd cajoled Hank into taking her to her apartment through a mix of tears and frustration so she could find it. Photographs, old art projects, dumb tchotchkes her dad would buy for them both in every airport he visited…
“I went to a counselor,” Emma says.
Connor falls back into an actual sitting position, expression unreadable. He watches her carefully.
“It’s so I can use the HAIT,” she says, a little faster than she intends, emotion suddenly rising up like water reaching a boil. He tilts his head, eyes squinting, and she keeps talking before he can interrupt. “Someone did hypnotherapy on me once upon a time and I don't remember any of it, like I'm in some fucking movie. And she tried to put me under and I…”
Facing a field of soybeans, swinging on a swing on a rickety old playground. Swinging and swinging and swinging…
Just stay here, little bug. Her dad's voice. Isn't it nice here?
“...there was nothing.”
I can't do this therapy with you, Emma. I've never seen someone twitch so much during a trance. Like you were in pain.
I wasn't. I didn't feel anything.
I'm sorry, Emma. But no.
“There was nothing,” she says, “and maybe there will always be nothing.”
He watches her. Maybe he doesn't understand. Maybe he could never understand what it was like, to be a person built on a foundation smothered in shadow.
He lays his hand next to hers. “What did you want to find?”
That question shakes her. Proof? Something that signaled her parents weren’t the kind of people that would get involved in something like all this?
“Anything, I guess,” she says. “A sign that I didn’t remember a lie.”
He taps the top of her hand, pausing a moment in thought. The contact is so small, but a thrum of blue energy sweeps her whole body anyway -- a keen reminder of all the things she doesn’t have.
“It’s just one android’s opinion,” he says, “but I don’t think anyone can take their love from you.”
Maybe.
She looks away.
“You should go back to the Speaker's house,” he says quietly. “I'd feel better if you slept there.”
“Will you be coming with?”
He doesn't answer right away. Another moment passes and he doesn't answer at all. Panic builds in her chest. Panic and a kind of pain, like her heart tearing. Disappointment, heavy as rain, presses out all logical sense, pressing and pressing and pressing until she can feel tears hiding behind her eyes.
“Okay, well,” she says, voice barely bridging the gap forming in her throat, “consider. Maybe I don’t want to do that.”
She grabs the box and stands up fast enough that she's lightheaded for a second. She sets the box on the table and leans against it, letting the world spin. He lingers close by as if ready to catch her, which makes the tsunami build and build.
“Maybe I don’t want to be followed around by two people I don’t know.”
“Emma…”
“Don’t Emma me. Just stop it.” Her fingers wrap around the edges of the cardboard, softened with time and abuse. “I missed you.” She tries to sound annoyed but her voice breaks. She can’t look at him. “It was just one stupid day. But I...”
I felt so alone.
A new song comes on over the sound system, one of her favorites on this disc, and she starts moving her shoulders to it, slowly, like she's working out some kinks in her body. She closes her eyes a moment.
“...Emma?”
Heat blooms on her cheeks. She turns around, slowly, afraid to see what he's asking after -- and he’s moving his shoulders, too, copying her.
Oh no.
“What are you doing?” he asks.
“What are you doing?”
He continues his jerky movements and doesn’t answer, watching her ever so carefully.
“...are you trying to dance?”
“I am just following your lead,” he says.
A chalky laugh bubbles just under her heart, despite everything. “Really?”
Something in his expression softens as he looks down upon her, leaning down just slightly. “I know you like this song,” he says. “It feels...boppy, as you said.”
A sound like a water droplet plinking into a sink. A realization. A funny one. “You don’t know how to dance.”
“It is not among my social protocol programs.”
“No. You don’t say.”
“I have looked a few things up.”
She smiles, despite herself.
And then, as if she'd just given him permission, his movements get worse. Wider and wider, more expressionist, face still even as his arms swing wide. He looks like he’s competing for the World’s Best Shuffler award. It’s awful. It’s perfect.
“Stop it! You're embarrassing me,” she says, laugh finally bursting free. “Watch this.”
She closes her eyes a moment, moving to the music, following its mismatched beats, the jumble of random shit that works in spite of music’s laws. Her legs jam, her hips shake with a flow that an android can’t replicate.
Connor then does an approximation of what can only be the ancient and persisting Robot, looking dumb as hell and beautiful as the dawn. She laughs again.
“Please don’t stop,” he says, soft enough she nearly misses it. “I’ve missed your laugh.”
So she laughs more and more, and they dance like fools for a while.
And then, after too little time has passed, the song changes. It’s slow and silky and winding. Her heart skips a beat.
Her body betrays her (just as the music does, just as the universe seems willing to do) and she reaches out, hands on his shoulders. “That doesn’t fit this song anymore,” she says of his robot dance, her jamming. “We have to do something else.”
So she pulls him into a sway, slow and circular. They’re spinning in a choppy circle for a few moments, her palms on his shoulders, his legs locking in confusion.
“Work with me,” she whispers.
He looks down upon her, mystified, as she pulls one of his hands to her waist, where it is supposed to go. His legs finally loosen as he seems to understand, his LED settling between yellow and blue. They spin and he pulls her ever so slightly closer -- but not close enough that, from an outsider’s perspective, they couldn’t be spotted at a high school dance. The thought makes her smile again.
“This is called slow dancing,” she says, letting her gaze linger on his lapel. He was busy today. No sweaters when detective work calls.
“I remember,” he says softly. “From movies.”
Her face burns but God does it feel right. They spin on in relative silence, the music softly sweeping the room. She tries to absorb the entirety of him through her fingertips -- his shocking warmth, the careful ways he holds himself, whatever pushes him on through the day so that she can try to remember it for tomorrow. She spreads her fingers across his chest and allows herself this moment of weakness.
"I have to tell you something," he says.
Her heart rises in her throat. All of a sudden the music stops. He stops. Their toes nearly touch. His hands rest on her waist. His LED spins yellow and red, too close for her not to watch it, and her ears go fuzzy…
It feels something like hope.
“Did you just wifi my music--”
“I'm going to be going on a mission tonight,” he says softly.
Her chest hollows out in an instant. Hope sputters and dies.
“I don't want you to worry. But that's why I want you to stay at the Speaker's house.”
“The op?” Her voice feels tinny, far away. “I thought Markus didn't want any sudden moves.”
He blinks a few times. Something is off in how long it takes for him to answer, like he's pressing through a block in his programming. “New variables have moved the timetable up. It's all right,” he adds, moving a hand to her shoulder, as if anticipating the bile churning in her gut.
“I don’t like this,” she says. “I don't like this sneaking off into the night bullshit.” I don't like you being gone. I don't like this new arrangement at all. I don't like my new guards. They don't even talk to me. I want the old arrangement back. I liked my old one. I loved the old one, despite everything it represented, I loved…
I love…
“This is my job,” he says, so soft and so sad. She's going dizzy. No. No. She can't be thinking about this right now. This timing is terrible. This is out of the wrong movie. This isn't right.
“Yeah,” she says, “I get that. But are you sure about this?”
His jaw twitches and he leans forward, just a touch. “Very.”
She takes in a sharp breath. “But what if…”
What if it all goes wrong? What if the universe strikes, like it always does, eventually?
What if every limitation between human-android interfacing becomes extraordinarily, undoubtedly clear in a flash of a single instant, a single sentence that breaks everything they've built?
What if she's in love with him and she wants him to stay?
What if he couldn't understand?
“Nothing will happen,” he says.
His hand brushes her hair out of her face a moment. Her whole body, alight with new understanding, nearly vibrates as his fingers reach her bare skin.
“I don't fail,” he says. “It’s not in my programming.”
--
She doesn't argue when he insists she take a sleeping pill.
She needed the sleep. And Connor…
[MISSION FAILED MISSION FAILED MISSION FAILED]
He needed her to sleep because he couldn't watch the wavering light in her eyes as he decided, then and there, to take matters into his own hands. He couldn't stand her asking after him, couldn't stand the fact that he is the one who will make her cry again after these awful days, couldn't stand any more deception in his life or hers even as he perpetrates it.
And a small part, a part of his programming that he's ashamed of, a part that he wants to press away away away because of how selfish it is, wanted to see her like this once more before he dove into the dark.
He never should have gone to Hank’s, like it was a normal day. He should have just gone. Because now...
Her mouth is partly open in deep sleep, chest rising slowly. Her hair is a halo, spread across the silky pillow Markus found in a linen closet. Her face is struck through with a beam of moonlight, casting her freckles in a shimmering glow akin to the stars he imagines them to be.
He looks at her and he understands, all at once, why Markus paints.
Why artists try to capture beauty in a moment. Why it matters at all, to try and save the ephemera, the passing, the few. Why Emma’s memory bothers her so much. Why slow dancing exists.
Something itches in the back of his mind, processes of an unknowable sort lurching to life in the ruins of that old red wall, and he reaches out a careful hand.
He lays the backs of his fingers against her cheek, where the moonlight touches. He runs his fingers across the light, across her skin, soft as bedsheets.
Her warmth sends hot electricity up his arm, through his core and into his head. Thoughts scatter and then solidify in an instant. She's so breakable. Everything about her fragile, like the word on the box -- dirty and ephemeral and painfully organic -- even as she proves him wrong, even as she pushes through the day to day with a strength that he can’t fathom. She dances to music and laughs at his jokes and glares at her guards and flips everyone off.
He wants so badly to see that every day.
He wants this, a painting in motion.
He wants.
So he has calculated the odds.
In every calculation, they are against him; there is only a 43% chance of success for his current plan. If he does nothing at all, Emma’s chance of death or total disappearance hovers near 30% -- an unacceptable range, as is anything above near-0. He cannot be the one who makes her laugh to keep her safe this time, and the thought whirs like a drill to his right eye.
[*&^%PAIN]
Even so. His processors cycle with cold certainty.
If he doesn't move -- if he doesn't become the hunter, the weapon -- all of this will shatter. He’ll never get to explore why he likes to rest his hands on her waist, never get to sway in time to a rhythm, never hear her voice again.
She will be taken. From him.
He hopes she will be able to forgive him for the lies. This one and all the rest, all his attempts to become someone who isn’t this version of himself. He knows who he has to be. Doesn't that matter more than who he could be?
[MISSION: FIND ABEL]
[CONFLICTING PRIORITY. SPEAKER MARKUS DID NOT GIVE THIS ORDER.]
[PRIORITY SELECTED.]
[FIND ABEL NOW.]
He leaves in the night, guns holstered under his shoulder. He tells no one, not even North. The odds she will turn him in to Markus are too high.
His eyes burn from tears unshed.
He wishes he was wrong.
#dbh fic#detroit become human#dbh connor#connor rk800#dbh connor x oc#dbh connor x reader#connor x reader#the silver lining still remains#kathryn writes
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I am currently dying of some kind of cold (not Covid again thank goodness) so I slept most of today but I’m gonna try and be on in a bit/tomorrow while I do stuff around my apartment!
#x. can’t get a damn signal (mobile post)#( not me listening to my body when i needed to sleep )#( my therapist would be proud… and then mad when he finds out how much i’ve been working but y’know )#( baby steps people )
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As I watch my dash mobilize in support of Louis, as I cry over all the posts because I love him and he deserves all the support in the world from everyone, I can’t help but be sad and angry and resigned that Liam never, ever got that same support.
The knee-jerk reaction from the fandom was always to punish him for the words put in his mouth, no one ever wrote essays reminding everyone that Liam wasn’t this person, that in-person Liam was kind and respectful and outright loving to every rainbow and LGBTQ fan he came across, right down to their X Factor days at G-A-Y and his tweets about how much he loved their gay fans.
Instead, Liam got letters telling him how hurtful he was, and he could “grow as a person” and not be such a homophobic douchebag.
Instead, Liam got posts upon posts calling for Harry and Louis to freeze him out in-concert because their feelings were hurt.
Instead, Liam gets joked by this fandom that he’s completely powerless to not make everything about girls and that he squirms every time a song is queer.
Completely ignoring that Liam wrote those same damn songs.
Completely ignoring the many, many times Liam has signaled to the fandom himself and gets silenced because he’s not the person y’all want to make those gestures.
It just sucks. It’s sad. It would never happen for anyone else but Liam.
My heart aches for Louis, for the way 1DHQ has made this fandom think of him so lowly and nastily.... but my heart breaks for Liam as well, and the fact that everyone here today who clearly demonstrates that they should fucking know better treats Liam the exact same way they’re rightfully crying about now, and Louis would hate that just as much.
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Fun fact: if you wanna destroy Jude, tell her that she’s not actually a Grimes and she’s the reason that everyone she loves has left her and/or died… she is hanging on by a thread and I would like to see her snap 👌🏻
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feeling kinda meh so i’m gonna go and do some housework and listen to music entirely too loud in my headphones so that i don’t have to think... i’ll be on discord if anyone needs me
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I would like to add to my previous post and say it has nothing to do with anyone here it is stuff going on in my personal life!! Y’all are great!! xoxo
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Definitely went to do stuff on my laptop once I got to work last night but I passed out (apparently I was more tired than I thought haha) but after work today I’m gonna try and be around a bit!
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I’m also gonna finish setting up @grxciefully at some point… so give her a follow? 🤍
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So I did absolutely nothing when I got home last night or this morning because I am just so exhausted… I have the sleeper tonight but since I get to sleep in tomorrow since I don’t work I’m gonna reblog some memes and post a starter call in a bit!
#x. can’t get a damn signal (mobile post)#( i will be dragging my ass through the rest of the week )
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