#y’all ever read maximum ride

[criminalmindzjunkie]

The Reward of Suffering (Part Six)

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Summary: Spencer comes face to face with a ghost from the past.

A/N: Hey... how y’all doin? Long time no see, huh? Sorry about that - hopefully this extra long update will make up for my absence. This has definitely been my favorite part thus far, and I had so much fun writing it. I hope you guys enjoy reading it. You guys know the drill by now: SPOILERS for season 12. Also, shoutout to @zhuzhubii​ for posting the absolute best set of gifs right in time for this update - you’re the coolest.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem! Reader

Warnings: cursing, mentions of death, mentions of rape, mentions of mental illness, kidnapping, choking

Word Count: 10.3k

           With every clack of my heels on the concrete floors, the nervous feeling in my gut grows into full blown nausea. It’s been nearly two months since I last walked these halls, but somehow it feels like a lifetime has passed. Considering everything that transpired in the last forty-eight hours, it makes sense that I feel that way.

           I hadn’t been on the team when Lindsey Vaughn first came into the picture ten years ago, but that didn’t mean that she wasn’t familiar. At the time, I thought nothing of the kind neighbor that I sometimes passed in the stairwell on my way to Spencer’s apartment. I mean, why would I? I had no reason to be suspicious. Our interactions never went beyond the usual pleasantries – polite smiles and the occasional greeting – and I never gave her a second thought.

           Maybe if I had, Cassie wouldn’t be dead, and Spencer’s mother wouldn’t be missing.

           I shake my head at the thought. Now isn’t the time to ruminate on what ifs. I would have plenty of time to blame myself when all of this is over. Instead of torturing myself, I focus on trying to steady my breathing as I come to a stop just before I reach the interview room of the Milburn Correctional Facility.

           I know what lies beyond that door, and I’m equal parts excited and worried. Excited, because I’d finally be able to see Spencer after two long months of daydreaming about when I’d finally hold him in my arms again. Of course, it was very possible that Spencer wouldn’t want to see me. After all, I promised to keep his mother safe, and instead of doing that, I let myself get swept up in moving in to my apartment, and now Diana was God knows where.

           I was so sure that he wouldn’t want to see me that I’d initially suggested that Emily be the one to go to the prison and get him. My idea was met with a sad smile and a pat on the shoulder.

           “I think that if it was anyone but you standing there when they open that door, it’d break his heart.”

           Her reassurances did little to assuage my nerves. I spent the entire ride here running over every possible scenario that I could imagine, scrambling to form some kind of game plan. But now that I was here, any semblance of preparedness left me the second the guard reached for the door handle.

           “You ready, ma’am?”

           Yes.

           No.

           I don’t trust my voice, so I settle on nodding my head. The door opens with a groan, rusty hinges creaking in protest, and with shaky legs and a heart that threatens to beat out of my chest, I step into the doorway.

           It’s like the world stops turning on its axis when his eyes meet mine. Those familiar pools of caramel stare back at me with such an intensity that I force myself to look away, petrified at the prospect of seeing disappointment in them. 

           I trail my eyes over his frame, drinking in every inch of him - every bruise and every scrape feeling like a dagger to my heart. My eyes linger on the bandage adorning his left arm, before trailing down to the one on his leg. Emily had warned me about happened, about Spencer injuring himself in order to secure his safety. It was smart of him - that I knew - but that didn’t mean that I wasn’t horrified. 

           His hair has gotten longer, and his curls hang limply around his face. The usually clean-shaven Spencer I once knew was a thing of the past - replaced now by a more disheveled, scruffier version.

           Clean-shaven or not, he still looks just as breathtaking as always. 

           I hesitantly raise my eyes up to his again. He’s staring at me still, mouth parted in shock. He doesn’t look angry, just confused, and that fills me with a tiny sliver of hope.

           “Hi, Spence,” I murmur, voice thick with emotion. It’s not until I speak that I realize I’m crying, and I hastily wipe at my cheeks with my shirtsleeve.

           The dazed look in Spencer’s eyes washes away when he hears my voice and he blinks hard.

           “What… H-How are you…?” he trails off, eyes moving up and down my body.

           It feels so fucking good to hear his voice again, and I find myself unable to hold back a sob.

           “M’ here to take you home,” I choke out.

           It’s like all the tension in Spencer’s body is expelled at once and his shoulders slump in relief. I open my mouth to elaborate, to explain how Emily had managed to pull this off, but I’m stunned into silence when Spencer’s body collides with mine. I hadn’t even had time to process that he was moving before his arms snake around me, tugging me forward until there’s no space in between our bodies. Spencer’s hands collect fistfuls of my shirt, clinging desperately to the fabric as he nuzzles his face into the crook of my neck.

           Once I get over the initial shock, I’m hugging him back, arms locked around his torso in a vicelike grip. He doesn’t smell the same – the usual fragrance of cinnamon and vanilla is long gone, replaced with that of some generic detergent – but the way his broad shoulders feel underneath my palms is something so familiar that I can’t help but smile against his chest.

           This is still my Spencer.

           Spencer lets out a shaky breath against my skin and I let out an involuntary shudder at the feeling.

           “Missed you so fucking much,” Spencer whispers. “I-I can’t believe you’re here. Thought I was imagining it.” Spencer takes a shaky breath in, nuzzling further into my neck. His next words are muffled from the way his lips press against my skin, but I’m still able to make out the quiet ‘I’m sorry’.

           “You’re sorry?” I hiccup, eyebrows scrunching up in disbelief. I attempt to pull away so that I can look at him, but Spencer only tightens his grip on me. Something about it makes my chest feel incredibly warm, but I push that feeling aside for now. “I’m the one that’s sorry. I should’ve done more – I should’ve visited more often. I let myself get busy, and if I’d just been more careful, then your m-mom… she wouldn’t be-”

           “Stop that,” Spencer interrupts, and this time he’s the one that pulls away. He holds me at arm’s length and those beautiful brown eyes lock with mine. “This is absolutely not your fault.”

           Spencer’s hands come up to cup either side of my face and his thumbs wipe away at the tears on my cheeks. “You’ve done so much for me – for her. I’m sorry that I took you off the list. Things were getting so bad here, and if something would have happened to you…” Spencer pauses, closing his eyes and leaning down until his forehead rests against mine. “It was never because I didn’t want to see you, I promise. And… And your letter - I can’t even begin to explain how much that helped. I’m sorry that I couldn’t write back. I didn’t know what to say. Especially not after…”

           He doesn’t elaborate, but I’m able to fill in the blanks myself. I bring my hand up and rest it on top of his.

           “S’okay, Spence. I know,” I whisper. “You don’t have to explain anything to me. I understand.”

           Spencer hums and a ghost of a smile tugs at the corners of his lips.

           “Time to get you out of here, Doc.” I remove his hand from my face and give it a reassuring squeeze. “Let’s go get your mom back.”

           Spencer opens his eyes and for the first time in two months I’m on the receiving end of my favorite smile in the whole world.

           I lead him from the room, never once removing my hand from his. Now that I have him back, I don’t ever want to let go.

--

           For the second time today, the clacking of my heels against the concrete floor is the only sound that can be heard. Spencer moves silently beside me, his face pulled into a somber expression as we stalk down the long corridor. His hand brushes against mine, and I long to reach out and intertwine our fingers like I had only hours before. I suppress the urge, stealing one last, poorly concealed glance at him before I settle my gaze on the door at the end of the hall.

           In the last several hours, the entire case had been flipped upside down. We’d been wrong all along – Scratch wasn’t to blame for the shit show that had transpired over the last three months. It’d been an easy enough mistake to make. After the incident with Tara’s brother, Scratch was the obvious choice. Pair that with the fact that Spencer had been drugged and we had no reason to suspect anyone else.

           Cat Adams was the last thing on everyone’s mind when Mexico happened. It’d been over a year since Spencer outsmarted her in that restaurant, and she was very much out of sight and out of mind. She was in a maximum-security prison, for fuck’s sake. That alone should have rendered her unable to carry out a scheme this convoluted.

           But apparently that meant nothing, because Cat had somehow managed to be the mastermind behind this whole ordeal, perfectly orchestrating the entire thing from her cell in solitary confinement – using Lindsey Vaugh as her metaphorical puppet on a string. We’d sorely underestimated Cat, and our arrogance had come back to bite us all in the ass.

           A guard that stands at the end of the hall opens the door for us, and I feel an intense rush of foreboding as we step into the room. The sound of the guard closing the door behind us brings a sense of finality to the situation; there is no turning back now. Either we walk out of here knowing Diana’s whereabouts, or we miss the mark completely and loose Diana in the process.

           I cast a worried look at Spencer, whose eyes are trained on the double-sided glass. The tension has returned to his shoulders, and his fists are clenched tightly at his sides. There’s a sort of fiery determination in his eyes – a sort of menacing resolve that I’d never seen in him before.

           Spencer looks intimidating, and nothing like the Spencer that was led from the courtroom three months ago. I pull my eyes away in favor of looking through the glass.

           Reid had been able to see through Cat’s mind games the first time, but the Cat that sat on the other side of that door is a far cry from the one he encountered a year ago. If she’d looked cold and calculating before, she looks downright deranged now.

           “Are you sure you want to go in there alone?” I ask after a moment. “I could-”

           “No,” Spencer cuts me off. His tone is hard and definite, warning me not to argue. “I can’t ask you to do that. Emily shouldn’t have made you come in the first place.”

           “Emily told me to come with you because she knew that there was nothing she could do to make me stay.” I pause long enough to shoot him a weak smile. “Hope you enjoyed your three-month break from me, because I’m going to practically glued to your side from now on. You’ll be dying to get rid of me in a month’s time.”

           Spencer’s lips twitch, threatening to turn up into a smile.

           “I sincerely doubt that.”

           “We’ll see,” I breeze. “But I’m serious, Spence. I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be here the whole time – I’m not letting you go in there alone, and I’m not going to leave you.”

           “Promise?” Spencer asks, finally pulling his eyes away from the window in favor of looking at me. There’s a sadness in his eyes that wasn’t there before, and the weight of his gaze is so heavy that I worry I might buckle under it.

           I reach for his hand and hook my pinky finger around his, lifting our intertwined hands to eye level.

           “I promise.”

           Spencer’s pinky finger squeezes mine and he closes his eyes.

           “I don’t deserve you.”

           “You deserve the world, Spence.”

           For a moment I think he’s going to say something else, but then Spencer’s lips press into a tight line and he only nods in response. He releases my hand and I let it fall limply at my side. Spencer rolls his shoulders back, and that stony expression returns to his face. He reaches out and pulls open the door, and I follow closely behind him at he steps over the threshold.

           It’s as if I’m invisible; Cat doesn’t even spare me a glance when I enter the room. Her eyes, narrowed and sparkling with amusement, hone in on Spencer immediately.

           “Spencie,” she greets, smiling deviously up at him.

           “Where’s my mother?” Spencer asks, completely devoid of emotion.

           “I missed you.”

           “What did you and Lindsey do to her? How did you-”

           Cat raises a hand, effectively cutting him off. She points a finger at him, and the smile that she previously wore is replaced by a grimace.

           “Now, stop. You don’t get to walk in here and hiss at me like I’m the criminal. No – we’re going to do this my way.” Cat kicks the chair that sits on the opposite side of the table and Spencer reaches out to grab it. “Have a seat.”

           Spencer complies and Cat’s smile returns.

           “How was prison? Did you like it?”

           “No.”

           Cat hums.

           “It’s not fun, is it?”

           “Unlike you, I didn’t deserve to be there,” Spencer retorts.

           Cat leans forward, crossing her arms before resting them on the metal table.

           “How did you stay sane? A brain like yours needs stimulation in such a gray place.”

           “I worked in the laundry room and I played chess.”

           “That’s three, maybe four hours, tops. What about the other twenty?”

           “I read.”

           Cat shakes her head. “That’s still not enough. You have to… go someplace.” She taps the side of her head. “Up here. Or else you go crazy. Do you want to see where I go? I’ll show you.” Cat crooks a finger at Spencer, and I tense at the gesture. The idea of that psychotic bitch getting any closer to him makes my skin crawl. I clench my fists together and the feeling of my nails digging into my palms is enough to ground me.

           Spencer leans forward, mimicking Cat’s relaxed position. She reaches a hand out towards him, and before I can think better of it, I speak up.

           “Hands off,” I warn.

           Cat halts her movements and fixes me with an irritated expression, looking me up and down distastefully before turning her attention back to Spencer.

           “Close your eyes,” she instructs him. Spencer complies. “Good. Now keep them closed. Sit back and relax. When you open your eyes, I want you to look at me like I’m the first woman you’ve seen after being in prison for three months.”

           I clench my jaw at that. Something stirs in my chest – something foreign and possessive that has me bristling. I tense, watching closely as Spencer opens his eyes and smiles that beautiful smile at Cat. My stomach turns painfully at the sight.

           “Hello, Cat,” Spencer greets her, and all the contempt his tone previously held is gone – replaced with a neutrality that bordered on happiness.

           Cat lets out a pleased laugh.

           “You’re here!” she exclaims, throwing her arms out as she gestures about the room. “You’re really here.”

           “There is nowhere else I would rather be,” Spencer replies, sounding startlingly genuine.

           This is all an act, I remind myself. Spencer’s just playing a part. None of this is real.

           Cat crosses her arms and raises an eyebrow at him.

           “You’re good at this. You’re so good at this that I almost believe that you don’t want to kill me.”

           “I don’t want to kill you,” Spencer says with a shake of his head.

           “No?”

           “No.”

           Cat narrows her eyes at him.

           “What if I let your mother die?” she inquires. “Then would you kill me? Or would you just…” Cat trails of as she leans forward. “… Hurt me? Would you pin me down and leave bruises that don’t go away?”

           I swallow hard against the bile that threatens to crawl its way up my throat. Spencer might not want to kill her, but I do.

           “Is that what you want?”

           Cat shrugs her shoulders.

           “I guess I just want to know if you would – if you could.”

           Spencer gives a small shake of his head.

           “No.”

           “No?” Cat taunts, cocking her head to the side.

           “It’s not the kind of man I am.”

           Cat’s face drops and her eyes narrow into slits.

           “Do me a favor and tell your little chaperone over there to step aside, because we’re going to play another game. And this time, we’re going to find out exactly what kind of man you are.”

           Spencer’s eyes flit to me and he nods towards the door. I open my mouth to argue, but the pleading look in his eyes has me clamping it shut. It’s okay, his eyes seem to tell me. I know you promised, but I’ll be fine.

Cat waves at me as I reluctantly move towards the door. When the door clicks shut behind me, Spencer takes it as his invitation to continue.

           “Let’s play,” his voice sounds through the speaker to my left.

           “Let’s!” Cat exclaims before resting her head in her hand.

           “So, is it the same game as last time?” Spencer inquires. “I answer every question you ask honestly?”

           “No,” Cat sighs out. “This time you get to ask the questions.”

           Spencer raises an eyebrow at her. “About what?”

           “Well, I know a secret about you. And you can ask me as many questions as you like to figure it out. But you only get one guess as to what it is. If you guess correctly, I take your phone, I call our friend Lindsey, and I tell her to release your dear mother unharmed. If you don’t…” Cat trails off, before mimicking bringing a gun up to her mouth and firing.

           Crazy fucking bitch.

           “Is there a clock?”

           “There’s always a clock.” Cat holds out her hand, eyes flicking down to Spencer’s watch. “Give it to me.”

           I cringe when Spencer hesitates – I know what he must be thinking. That’s Gideon’s watch. The only thing he has left of him. I’d never seen Spencer without it in the two years I’ve known him.

           Spencer reluctantly slips the watch off of his wrist and hands it over.

           Cat smirks and slides the watch onto her arm.

           “Now, you’ll have four hours.”

           “Do you want to give me a hint before we start?”

           Cat chuckles. “Do I look like a girl that gives hints?”            “Actually, you do.”

           Cat takes pause, looking Spencer up and down before speaking.

           “Okay, how about this; it’s a secret you’ll never admit to.”

--

           “I know what the secret is.”

           Cat quirks an eyebrow up at Spencer.

           “You do?”

           He nods. “Why else would you put me through all this?”

           “Ooh, phrasing it in the form of a question that way it doesn’t count as a guess. Very smart, Doctor.”

           “I’m gonna walk you through a scenario, and your face is going to tell me how close I am,” Spencer murmurs, an amused smile on his lips. He leans forward to rest his elbows on the table. “From the moment I arrested you, you watched and waited for the right time to take your revenge. When you learned I was going to Mexico, you took it. You and Lindsey framed me for murder so I’d be put in a prison and treated like a criminal, and then you kidnapped my mother so I would know how it feels to have a parent manipulated, because you want to prove that you and I are the same. Am I right?”

           Cat feigns a yawn in response.

           “Mm. Sorry, I couldn’t hold that in any longer. What were you saying?”

           “Psychopaths tend to get bored easily.”

           “You’re right. Let’s speed this up,” Cat sighs with a roll of her eyes. She pushes away from the table, standing up and walking over to Spencer’s side of the table. I fight the urge to barge in when I see her take a seat on his lap. Cat runs a hand down Spencer’s chest before she continues. “Shall we? What do you think about all the pain you’ve suffered in your life? What would I capitalize on, do you think? Is it… the death of your mentor, SSA Jason Gideon?”

           I can see the way Spencer’s jaw clenches and it makes my heart lurch painfully in my chest.

           “No, because we caught the man who killed him.”

           “What about Agent Morgan and your guilt over not visiting his little boy?” Cat whispers in his ear as her hands fiddle with the collar of his suit.

           “I was in prison.”

           “Yeah, but you had time before that. Why didn’t you go?” she presses as she grazes her nails down the length of his throat. I see red when her hand loosely circles around his neck. Spencer absolutely loathes being touched by anyone other than those closest to him, and I’ve no doubt that he’s horribly uncomfortable.

           “Truthfully, I got distracted. I was trying to figure out a way to help my mom. She didn’t have time. Morgan, Savannah, and little Bobby did. So, there’s absolutely no shame in admitting that. Morgan would understand.”

           “I agree. That’s why that’s not the secret,” Cat divulges, brushing her nose against the side of his face before pulling away and standing up. I let out the breath that I’d apparently been holding and allow myself a moment to run a shaky hand through my hair. If I was getting this frazzled from being a bystander to this conversation, I can only imagine how Spencer must be feeling.

           When I look back up at the mirror, Spencer’s looking over his shoulder at me through the glass. I know he can’t see me, but I can’t help but feel guilty for losing my cool.

           “Good job, Spence,” I murmur to myself as I pull out my phone. After a few rings, Rossie answers.

           “Go ahead, Y/N. You’re on speaker.”

           “Cat has an extremely deep background on Spencer. She knows about everything – Gideon’s death, Derek leaving the team, his mom’s condition,” I inform them, tapping my foot nervously against the concrete.

           “She’s throwing him off-balance.”

           “Yes, but Spencer also purposefully gave the wrong name of Derek’s son and she didn’t correct him,” I point out.

           “She must’ve gotten her hands on Reid’s confidential FBI file,” Emily chimes in. “It would mention pertinent team information but it wouldn’t name Morgan’s son for confidentiality reasons.”

           “We were thinking she’s been getting help from someone inside the prison. This goes deeper than that,” Rossi sighs.

           “Call us if she says anything else of any importance,” Emily signs off. I mumble a quick goodbye before pocketing my phone and turning my attention back to the window.

           “Working deductively, the secret wouldn’t be any of the topics you’ve already volunteered, because you wouldn’t want to make it easy on me,” Spencer reasons. He clasps his hands together and sits back in his seat before raising an eyebrow in challenge.

           “Genius, truly,” Cat taunts sarcastically as she twirls the watch around her finger.

           “So, what is left that I wouldn’t want to admit?” Spencer muses, eyebrows drawn together in contemplation. Cat shrugs her shoulders at him and another moment of tense silence passes.

           “Love,” Spencer utters, and Cat’s incessant twirling of the watch comes to an abrupt halt.

           Got her.

           “Is that what this is all about – love? For my mother?” Spencer whispers, and when Cat fails to respond, he shakes his head. “No, not for her. For you. You want me to admit that I’m actually in love with you.”

           Cat purses her lips together.

           “Don’t get me wrong – I love my fairy tales as much as the next girl – but I’m not delusional,” Cat says as she crosses her arms.

           “Are you sure about that?”

           “Very sure. So sure, in fact, that I had Lindsey leave a clue for you in that little scrapbook in your apartment.”

           I scrunch my face up at that. The clue in question had been a message inscribed on the back of an old photograph;xx-xy. We’d originally deduced that the message, the female and male chromosomes, was to confirm that Lindsey was working with Scratch. But now? Now I didn’t have a clue what Cat was talking about.

           “I couldn’t have you come all the way down here and make a guess until I was positive. That is…” Cat pauses for dramatic effect, a sly smile on her lips. “… until I tested positive.” Cat punctuates her words by placing both hands on her stomach, and the action makes me raise a hand up to my mouth in shock.

           No. There’s no fucking way.

           “What, you’re pregnant?” Spencer asks, confused.

           “No, we’re pregnant.”

           I feel my knees buckle upon hearing the admission and I blindly reach for the chair to my left.

           This cannot be happening.

           “No,” Spencer says, shaking his head adamantly.

           “Oh, yes,” Cat replies. “Mazel tov.”

--

           “Here you are, ma’am.”

           I reach for the file, my movements stilted and awkward.

           “Thank you,” I mumble to the guard, who gives me a peculiar look before leaving the room. I waste no time in flipping through the file, heart pounding wildly in my chest as my eyes skim over the page until –

           Positive.

           I slam the file down on the table.

           “Fuck!” I yell out in frustration. I’m thankful then for the thick, concrete walls, because neither Spencer nor Cat show any sign of having heard my little outburst. I place both palms down on the cool metal of the table, my breaths coming out in haggard puffs as I try to rationalize it all.

           “- not possible,” Spencer’s voice coming through the speaker snaps me out of my thoughts. I cut my eyes to the window to find Spencer pacing the room. “Even if you are pregnant, the baby’s not mine.” Spencer comes to a stop behind his chair and shoves his hands in his pockets.

           “Except for the part where it is.”

           “That’s completely preposterous. You’ve been in prison,” Spencer points out as he once again takes a seat across from her.

           “So have you.”

           “And we’ve never-”

           “I know. We’ve never…” Cat trails off with a suggestive waggle of her brows. “Ask me how I did it. Come on, ask me.”

           Spencer rolls his eyes, but he indulges her nonetheless.

           “How did you do it?”

           “I had Lindsey dose you in Mexico. You lost time. And I gave her very specific instruction on how to get you in the mood,” Cat admits.

           “What?” Spencer snorts cynically. “Did she pretend to be you?”

           “Why, would that have worked?”

           Spencer leans forward and shoots Cat a cruel kind of smile.

           “No.”

           For a split second Cat’s face falls, but only for a moment and then she goes right back to smiling that wretched grin.

           “Yeah, I know, I know. Believe me, I know exactly where I stand on the Spencer Reid hot or not list,” Cat sighs. “So, ask me again.”

           “How did you do it?”

           “I told her to pretend to be Y/N.”

           For a second I think that I misheard her – the blood rushing in my ears almost overpowered her admission – but the way Spencer’s entire body tenses before he looks back at the window tells me that I didn’t.

           Why me?

           Spencer gulps hard before he turns back around. I find my way to the chair nearest me and collapse into it.

           “How do you know about her?”

            Cat gives him an unimpressed look.

           “It wasn’t hard, seeing as she’s your very best friend in the whole wide world,” Cat teases as her eyes wander from Spencer to the glass behind him. She waves at me, endlessly amused, before turning her attention back to Spencer. “But that isn’t all that she is to you – is it Spencie? At least, Lindsey didn’t think so. At first, she thought the two of you were tangled up in some kind of sexy little tryst. But then I had Lindsey do a little digging, and, well, that’s when we found out about the boyfriend.”

           “Stop.”

           “Oh, it seems I’ve struck a nerve!” Cat trills gleefully. “Shall we call her in here to join us? I know she’s just on the other side of that glass. I’m sure she’d love to hear all about how pathetic little Spencer Reid pines after her like a school boy with a crush.” She pouts her bottom lip out in mock sadness. “There’s just something about unrequited love that really tugs at my heart strings.”

           Oh.

           For the second time since arriving here, my hand comes up to cover my mouth as I struggle to process Cat’s words. She can’t be right, can she? Spencer had never done anything that eluded to him seeing me as any more than a best friend. Perhaps she got it wrong. Lindsey saw me come and go and she just assumed it was something that it wasn’t. There was no way that Spencer -

           “I said stop.”

           The underlying plea in his voice is enough to make tears well in my eyes. If what Cat is saying is true, that means that Lindsey . . . 

           “All it took was Lindsey saying she was Y/N for you to crumble like a house of cards. You really made it too easy.”

           “You’re lying.”

           Cat chuckles. “Listen to you, you’re not even trying to deny it.”

           “It didn’t happen,” Spencer argues, voice so quiet that I have to strain to hear it.

           “Hey, I was thinking, if it’s a boy, we should definitely call him Spencie Jr.”

           Spencer pushes back from the table so abruptly that both Cat and I flinch, and he’s almost out the door when Cat delivers one final dig.

           “-But if it’s a girl, I think we should call her Y/N. I mean after all; she played such a huge role in in her own conception!”

           The sound of the door slamming behind him as he trudges into the room is enough to make me bolt up from my seat. Spencer comes to a stop at the center of the room, eyes wide and full of remorse as he looks over at me.

           “I-I… I’m…”

           I try my best to muster up a smile but I worry that it comes out more as a grimace.

           “Later,” I murmur, and Spencer winces before nodding his head in defeat. I walk over to the table and open up the file. “She’s not lying about being pregnant.”

           Spencer joins me at the table, eyes skimming over the document.

           “She’s three months, and the timeline matches, but that doesn’t mean-”

           Spencer yanks the file off the table and hurls it at the window, shoulders rising and falling rapidly as he runs a hand through his disheveled hair.

           I take a step back and Spencer curses under his breath.

           “I’m sorry. It’s not you,” he sighs. “I just… need a minute.”

           I press my lips together and nod.

           “Take all the time you need. M’gonna go call Emily,” I murmur.

           Spencer closes his eyes and lets his head hang low.

           “Yeah, okay,” he whispers dejectedly, and the despair in his voice is enough to stop me in my tracks.

           “Spence?” I call out. He looks up at me from underneath his lashes, more than a little bit timid and scared. “I’ll be right back, okay? I’m not leaving you.”

            I open the door and step out of the room, but it doesn’t close before I hear the quiet ‘thank you’ drift from within.  

--

           Spencer waits until the door clicks shut behind her to push away from the table and head back into the interrogation room. He couldn’t bear the thought of her overhearing any more than she already had. As far as Spencer was concerned, Cat had just singlehandedly ruined the one good thing he had going for him, and at this point, he had nothing left to lose.

           “Let’s pretend you’re telling the truth,” Spencer starts. “That means I guessed it, right? The secret, the one I don’t want to admit to? It’s my child?”

           Cat looks up at him with bored eyes and Spencer feels his unease begin to give way to rage.

           “Is that your guess?” Cat asks. “You only get one, remember?”

           Spencer takes pause, before shaking his head.

           “No. It’s too easy,” he decides.

           “Believe me, getting pregnant with your baby was not easy,” Cat mutters, and Spencer’s lips press into a tight line. The implication of it is enough to make his skin crawl. He feels violated and absolutely disgusted, but still he tries to school his impression into one of indifference. Spencer thinks about his mom, scared and confused, and that’s enough incentive to make him focus on the task at hand.

           “You misunderstand. It’s too easy emotionally,” Spencer explains in a clipped tone as he sits down. “Because I can take your child from you. The child I had absolutely no role in creating, but a child that I would care for better than you.”

           “That’s rude,” Cat seethes as she slowly lifts her head from off of the table.

           “It’s true. You can’t be a mother, Cat. I’m not trying to insult you – it’s your psychological makeup. You literally do not have the emotional skills to care for another human being. You’d lose interest in your own baby the way a six-year-old loses interest in a pet hamster. This baby is simply a means to an end, which is to keep me here and playing your game, guessing like a fool and assuming something that I never should have assumed in the first place.”

           “And what would that be?”

           “My mother’s already dead,” Spencer says, and the words taste positively foul in his mouth. “She was dead before I walked in here”

           Cat’s lips pull into a frown.

           “She’s not dead-”

           “Yes, she is,” Spencer reiterates as he rises from his chair.

           “No, because that would be cheating and I don’t cheat. You cheat!” Cat panics, voice growing louder the closer Spencer gets to the door.

           “I’m done playing,” Spencer says as he turns away, reaching for the door knob.

           “Get back here!”

           Spencer pulls the door open. “Goodbye, Cat.”

           He has one foot out the door when;

           “I’ll let you talk to her!” Cat yells out as she slams her fist down on the table.

           Spencer lifts his eyes up from their spot on the floor, and it’s with a jolt of surprise that his eyes meet Y/N’s. It feels to him like it always does when he sees her – like some great relief that floods through his entire body in an instant. He feels guilty for it, now that she knows, but that doesn’t stop him from basking in it. The feeling grows when a triumphant smile graces her lips, one that says you’ve got her, Spence. You’ve got her right where you want her.

           Spencer is positively rejuvenated by that smile.

           He reluctantly pulls his gaze away from her and focuses back on Cat. He’s come too far now to fuck it all up.

           Spencer pulls his phone from the depths of his suit pocket and hands it to Cat. He watches on as she dials the number, and his heart beats so fast that he wonders if she can hear it. The sound of the dial tone ringing fills the room, and Spencer can only hope that the call will be long enough for Penelope to trace.

           “You’re early,” a voice that’s unmistakably Lindsey’s calls out. Spencer lets out a shaky breath of relief.

           “Yeah, I know.”

           “Did he guess?”

           “No, not yet,” Cat sighs. “We need proof of life.”

           “All right, hold on,” Lindsey says, exasperated, and her words are followed by several seconds of muffled rustling and what Spencer deems as some sort of liquid being poured.

           “Spencer!”

           His heart practically bursts out of his chest as he lunges forward, yanking the phone out of Cat’s hand and bringing it up to his ear.

           “Mom - mom, are you okay?”

           “I don’t… know-”

           Spencer opens his mouth to reply when the gut-wrenching sound of an explosion rips through the tiny phone speakers, distorted and so loud that it makes Spencer’s ears ring.

           “Mom!” Spencer desperately yells into the phone, but all he gets in reply is a ‘gotta go’ from Lindsey before the line goes dead. Spencer growls out a string of swears, throwing his phone down on the table before leaning over the table.

           “What the hell was that?” he yells, and he’s vaguely aware of the sound of the door opening, but he can’t focus on anything other than his own rising panic.

           “I don’t know,” Cat replies, opening her mouth to continue but Spencer cuts her off.

           “Lindsey said you were early. Was that a signal?” he bellows.

           “Spence, come on,” Y/N tries to interject. Spencer feels her hand on his shoulder but he shrugs it off before bringing his fist down on the table.

           “Was that a prearranged signal to kill my mother?!” Spencer snarls, eyes wide and teeth barred. He feels positively feral, images of his mother in all sorts of terrible states of distress flashing through his mind like some grotesque picture show. “Tell me the truth!”

           “No! I am!” Cat shouts back.

           “Tell me the truth!”

           “I am!” Cat spits out, eyes flashing angrily. “You wanna know the truth? Your mother is an Alzheimer’s-ridden moron who’s getting dumber by the day and if she’s dead, it’s your fault!”

           Something comes over Spencer then, and in an instant, he’s shoving the table out of the way and pushing Cat against the wall. His hands find purchase on her throat, not dissimilar to how hers had on his hours before, but instead of dragging his fingers against her neck, Spencer’s clamping down on it as hard as he can, taking great pleasure in the way she gasps for air as his hands tighten. Everything around him fades away until all that he can focus on is that way that her pulse feels under his hands – the way it starts off strong, before tapering, slower and slower until he can barely even palpate it anymore.

           “I’m going to kill you,” Spencer hears himself whisper as he presses down hard on her windpipe. “M’gonna fucking kill you.”

           Cat’s eyes are fluttering closed now, and Spencer shouldn’t enjoy the way the light in her eyes starts to dim. He shouldn’t but he does – in fact, it prompts him to press harder and harder and –

           A harsh yank pulls Spencer away from Cat, and as soon as his hands begin to loosen Cat splutters in an attempt to catch her breath.

           “Spencer, she is pregnant,” Y/N yells in his ear, and just like that his tunnel vison fades away and Spencer feels the adrenaline leave his body. He only realizes that his hands are still on Cat’s throat when Y/N yanks at his arms again. “Fucking let her go, Spencer!”

           His entire body goes limp and he allows himself to be drug away from Cat and out of the room. Spencer’s heart still pounds and his blood is still roaring in his ears, but the satisfaction has given away to shame. He steals a glance at cat as he’s being pulled from the room, and despite her ruffled appearance, she’s grinning at him – smiling as if to say see? I told you that you were just like me.

           Spencer stumbles into the other room, steadying himself on the wall to keep from faceplanting onto the cold hard floor. Now that the adrenaline has expelled itself from his body, he’s left shaky and panting and ashamed.

           The feeling of Y/N’s eyes on him as he braces himself on the wall only exacerbates his mortification. What will she think of me now? Will she think me to be some kind of monster? Spencer wouldn’t blame her - he’s held that same opinion of himself for months now.

           Spencer stands there, face turned downwards as he catches his breath, and when he can take the weight of her gaze no longer, he darts out of the room and down the corridor.

           Being alone is preferable to being a disappointment, Spencer thinks as he flees the room.

--

           It doesn’t take long for her to find him sitting in the floor, knees to his chest with his face downturned. Spencer hears her before he sees her, and he prepares himself for the yelling that’s surely to come.

           She surprises him when she slides her back down the wall until she’s sitting beside him, legs sprawled out in front of her. He doesn’t look up – fearful of what he might see when he looks into those beautiful eyes of hers. There had been love there, before all of this happened. Not the kind of love that was reflected in his own, but it was love just the same and Spencer thinks that it might kill him to see that love replaced with disgust. So he doesn’t look. Instead, Spencer just sits there, slumped over and pathetic, hoping that she doesn’t pick up on the fact that his hands are shaking.

           “Richmond County police just reported a gas station explosion. One victim – male. Whatever Lindsey did, we have to assume that your mom’s still alive,” Y/N murmurs. Spencer lets out a shaky breath and his grip on his knees tightens. It’s good news, and he’s grateful, but it does nothing for the overwhelming guilt that’s eating away at him.

           “Hey,” she whispers when he doesn’t reply. “Can you look at me, Spence? Wanna see those pretty brown eyes. Please?”

           Spencer chokes down the sob that threatens to come out. He shakes his head. 

           “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what happened in there. That… That’s not me. At least, I don’t want it to be,” Spencer whispers. “Emily should’ve sent someone else with me. I never wanted you to see me like that.”

           Her small, incredibly soft hand comes to rest on his own and Spencer closes his eyes at the feeling. Y/N flips his hand over and intertwines their fingers and Spencer can’t help but think that’s she’s showing him way more kindness than he could ever deserve. But he’s selfish, unable to deny himself of the feeling of her hand in his, so he clings onto her hand for dear life.

           “I’m so scared that this is who I am now,” Spencer mumbles, prompting her grip on his hand to tighten.

           “No, Spence. Don’t say that,” she chastises him. “You’re the best guy I know. Everyone has a breaking point – Cat just knows how to bring you to yours, is all.”

           “You… You don’t know…” Spencer trails off, still unwilling to look her in the eye.

           “I do know, Spence. I may not have been able to visit, but I asked about you every day,” she says as she shuffles closer to him. Spencer can smell her perfume now, subtle and sweet and comforting. “I know that two inmates, Frazier and Duerson, killed your friend in front of you. I know that they wanted you to move heroin for them, and I also know that if you didn’t, you would’ve been next. Anyone in your spot would’ve done the same.”

           “You wouldn’t have.”

           “Hell yes, I would have,” Y/N persists, and Spencer can’t help but to look up at her from behind where his unruly curls fall into his face. “I would have, Spence. If someone was threatening my life, you bet your ass I would have done the same thing. It doesn’t make you a bad person – doing whatever it takes to survive does not make you a bad person.”

           She must pick up on the hesitancy that lingers in Spencer’s eyes, because she decides to continue.

           “You know who does think like that? That – that in you doing what you had to do in order to survive somehow makes you a psychopath?” Y/N pauses long enough to point her thumb towards the direction of the interview room. “She does.”

           Spencer watches the realization wash over her face, and for a split second he’s terribly confused. It isn’t until a ghost of a smile pulls at her lips that he catches on, and when he does, he has to stop himself from doing something terribly stupid like kissing her.

           “She does,” Y/N reiterates when she sees that Spencer finally caught on. “Because she knows.”

           “That’s the secret,” Spencer thinks aloud. He pushes himself to his feet and begins to pace down the corridor. “The one that I don’t want to admit about myself.”

           “Hold up, Spence. Let’s talk through this, because she will not lose to you twice. She already said that this wasn’t about the two of you being the same.”

           Spencer scratches the back of his next, nodding to himself.

           “Then she’s all about the game. She thinks that I cheated the last time because I lied about her dad, so it’s integral that she beats me by following the rules.”

           “But, Spence, she’s the one that makes the rules. She can change them to ensure that she wins.”

           “-Which means that I’m locked in-”

           “Like she is.”

           “She needs me locked in, playing by her rules, a game I can’t win, so she-” Spencer pauses then, and an actual, honest to God smile creeps its way across his face – the kind of smile that was only reserved for Y/N. “I got it.”

           Spencer doesn’t elaborate, because he doesn’t need to. He can tell with one look that she understands, because somehow, she always does. Spencer offers her a hand and hoists her to her feet. 

          Spencer almost laughs as the two of them step back into the room. Of course, she would be the one to figure it out. It seems like she’s always saving him, these days.

--

           “Guess that’s one way to get you to put your hands on me.”

           Spencer feels a twinge of guilt, but he pushes it to the back of his mind as he holds a hand out to Cat.

           “Dance with me.”

           Cat lifts an eyebrow at him.

           “Why?”

           “Because I don’t want the people watching to hear what I’m about to say.”

           Cat is still suspicious, but she takes his hand and lets him pull her to her feet anyways. Spencer puts his arms around her and the two of them begin to sway back and forth. Spencer suppresses the urge to pull away when her hand lowers and intertwines with his own. It’s rough and calloused and cold – a direct contradiction of Y/N’s – and Spencer positively loathes it.

           “You had eyes on me while I was in prison, didn’t you?”

           “Spencie, don’t ruin the moment,” Cat groans.

           “I don’t want to, but I’m on the clock. Answer my question, am I right?”            Cat places her head on Spencer’s chest, her hair smelling of some generic bar of soap, and Spencer wishes more than anything that he was smelling the familiar notes of honeysuckle and vanilla instead.

           “Yes, you’re right. I wanted to make sure things were just as uncomfortable for you as they were for me.”

           “That’s how you timed everything so perfectly. Like sending my mom and Lindsey to visit me when I thought I was at my lowest.”

           This piques Cat’s interest and she lifts her head up until her eyes meet Spencer’s.

           “Thought? You’re sure you weren’t?”

           “No, I wasn’t. Because I didn’t feel bad – I felt scared at how much I enjoyed poisoning the other prisoners. I had a hundred ways of getting myself out of that situation, and I picked the one that would cause them the most pain.”

           “Well, look at that,” Cat hums. “You might end up saving your mother’s life after all.”

           A moment of silence passes as Spencer contemplates his next move. Before he can get the words out, Cat breaks the silence.

           “They won’t get there in time. They must be on their way, right? Your team is too good to wait around, but you know me. I always have a contingency plan,” Cat murmurs, hands dipping under Reid’s suit jacket. She rubs her palms across his chest in slow circles and Spencer tries hard not to squirm. “They’re walking into a trap, and the only way out is if you give me your phone and you guess – right now.”

           Cat removes her hands from Spencer’s chest, crossing her arms and fixing him with a pointed look. Spencer reaches down and pulls the phone from his pocket, passing it to Cat who wastes no time in taking a seat at the table once more.

           Spencer’s skin tingles, half from anticipation, half from fear. They’ve come too far for him to misstep. He thinks of his mother – of how the next two minutes will determine her fate, and Spencer clenches his hands into fists at his sides.

           Here comes the moment of truth.

           “When we first sat down, you said you were going to show me what kind of man I am. And you have.”

           “Every time I dial a number, you’re getting warmer.”

           “At first, I was furious, because the secret had to be the baby inside you. How could it be anything else? But then I realized that somehow, you knew I liked hurting those men.” Cat dials another number, prompting Spencer to continue. “Now, I know it’s both things.”

           “So, which is it, Spencie? Come on, don’t fumble it now. You’re at the one-yard line.”

           “You’re not pregnant with my child. You got pregnant with Wilkins to put me in as compromised a position as possible. But it should be mine – I wish it were mine. Because you and I… we deserve each other. That is the real secret.”

           By the time Spencer finishes speaking, tears are steady falling down Cat’s cheeks. With a shaky hand she presses the call button, and Spencer watches on with bated breath as the phone rings.

           “Kill her.”

          When Cat receives no reply, she pushes out of her seat and begins to pace around the room. “Lindsey, I said kill her.”

           “You bitch,” Lindsey curses, sounding positively heartbroken in the way only a jilted loved could. “You’re pregnant?”

            “Lindsey, sweetheart, it’s complicated, okay?”

           “No, it’s not,” Lindsey whispers, and then the sound of the dial tone is all that’s left.

           Not a second later, Y/N bursts through the door; the figurative light at the end of a long, dark tunnel.

           “We’re clear.”

           Spencer snatches his phone from Cat’s hand before turning to face Y/N.

           “Is my mom okay?”

           “Yeah. She’s fine.”

           “We do deserve each other, by the way,” Cat calls out, prompting Spencer to pivot and face her. She slides back into the seat and shrugs her shoulders. “You guessed right.”

           Spencer falters for a moment, but then a voice in his head is reminding him that he deserves the world. And that voice sounds a lot like Y/N.

           “You lied, by the way. You were going to kill my mother regardless.”

          “Yeah, I think you really liked hurting those men. Once you cross that line, you can’t ever go back. And you’ll never get her to love you, either. You and I are too fucked up to be loved.”

           Spencer takes two steps forward before he bends down, reaching out and clutching Cat’s forearm in a tight grip. Without breaking eye contact, he slides his watch off her wrist and back on to his own.

           “Watch me,” Spencer whispers, and without so much as a parting glance at the broken women sitting at the table, Spencer walks towards the light.

--

           The elevator ride up to the bullpen is a quiet one, not unlike the jet ride before it. I had about a million questions that I was dying to ask, but I thought it best to let Spencer stew in silence. The poor guy had been through enough in the last twenty-four hours – he didn’t need me hounding him on top of all of that. Besides, I wasn’t entirely sure where to start in the first place.

           So, Spence – how was prison?

           I heard you got the shit kicked out of you. How interesting, so did I! Wanna trade war stories?

           I hate to put you on the spot like this, but was that little tidbit about you being hopelessly in love with me true? Just curious.

           As wonderful as all of those conversation starters were, I didn’t really think that now was the time to breech any of the aforementioned subjects. So, instead, Spencer and I communicated in stolen glances and shy smiles, and that more than sufficed for the time being. We had all the time in the world to talk later - there was no need to rush.

           I can practically feel Spencer shaking with anticipation when the elevator ride comes to a close, and the two of us share one last, longing glance before the doors open and Spencer steps out and into the arms of his mother.

           There’s not a dry eye in the house when Spencer and his mother reunite, and it takes Emily ushering us all away to keep us all from devolving into sniveling messes right in front of the elevator. We all scatter about the bullpen, and after a quick trip to the bathroom I meander to Emily’s office.

           “Derek Morgan – you are a sight for sore eyes,” I whistle as I walk into the room, not stopping until I’m pressed up against two-hundred pounds of rock-hard abs.

           “Ah, little bit. I sure have missed you,” Derek laughs as he presses a kiss to the top of my head.

           “To what do we owe the pleasure? I’d be hard pressed to believe that you just decided to drop in at three o’clock in the morning.”

           Derek lets out a sigh and the smile drops from his face.

           “I wish I was just here to say hello, but we may have bigger problems. I got a text from Penelope saying that Reid was out of prison and that he wanted to see me. And that he was staying in an FBI safehouse where he was putting his mother up for the night.”

           I cast a glance at Emily, who shakes her head.

           “I didn’t approve of that,” she explains, and just like that, a weary feeling settles over everyone in the room.

           “I think we all know what this sounds like,” Derek says.

           “A trap.”

--

           “I know we’re all tired, but we may have a new lead on Scratch.”

           “Somebody did a bang-up job of cloning my cellphone to send Morgan a text luring him to a nonexistent safehouse. And whoever that somebody is has mad skills,” Penelope explains.

           “The kind of skills Scratch has,” Stephen mutters, earning a round of murmured agreeances.

           “Were you able to trace where the hack came from?” Luke inquires, earning an affronted glare from Penelope. She shakes her head at him before turning to Derek, who’s watching on with a shit-eating grin on his face.

           “Do you see what I have to put up with?”

           Derek chuckles and gives Luke a pointed look.

           “Alvez, you’ll always get a location with this one.” Derek reaches forward and rubs Penelope’s shoulder, and it’s impossible to miss the way Luke’s eyes zero in on it.

           “Down boy,” I whisper at him. “Green isn’t your color.”

           “Shut up.”

           I roll my eyes good-naturedly before turning my attention back to Emily.

           “Obviously, Morgan can’t come with us. He’s a civilian now.”

           “We’ll miss you out there,” JJ chimes in.

           “I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss it out there in the field with you guys. I think about it every day. But between my old friends and my new friends, you guys are gonna go out there, you’re gonna handle your business, you’re gonna make people feel safe, and then you’re gonna go home. And that’s all that matters.”

           “Civilian life has turned you into a sap,” I tease.

           “Is it just me, or has this one gotten mouthier since I left?”

           Penelope pats him on the arm.

           “Someone had to fill the silence.”

           After everyone has the opportunity to tell Derek their goodbyes, it’s a mad dash to get everything we need to roll out. I pull my hair into a ponytail and shuck off my blazer, only to replace it with my Kevlar. I’m in the middle of securing the last strap as I hurry down the hall when I come in harsh contact with the front of someone’s chest.

           But it’s not just someone – it’s Spencer.

           “I thought you left already?”

           Spencer lets out a strained chuckle.

           “Uh, yeah. I was on the way out when Penelope texted and said Derek was here. Mom’s sitting with Anderson while I go talk to him.”

           I nod in understanding.

           “Good ole Anderson,” I manage to say, trying hard not to cringe at my awkward choice of words.

           “Yeah,” Spencer mutters, shuffling his feet as he looks anywhere other than my face. “There’s a case, I’m assuming?” he says, gesturing to my vest.

           “We think we have a lead on Scratch, actually.”

           Now, that gets Spencer’s attention. His eyes finally settle on me, and his brows furrow.

           “Why didn’t anyone tell me? I need to go with you-” Spencer makes a move to brush past me, put I stop him with a hand on his chest.

           “Back it up, Spence. There’s absolutely no way Prentiss will sign off on that, and even if she did, I’m still saying no.”

           “And I’m supposed to listen to you?” Spencer tries to keep his face neutral, but his lips twitch as he fights back a smile.

           “Mm. What I say goes, and I say that you need to go home and not even think about work for at least a month. You certainly could use the break.”

           “A whole month, huh?”

           I nod, looking up at him with a faux serious expression.

           “I better not see you around here for at least that long, or there will be repercussions.”

           Spencer finally does smile at that, and I can practically see the way he’s mulling over his next move in his head.

           “Does… Does that prohibition extend only to the work place?”

           I tilt my head to the side.

           “I’m lost.”

           Spencer scrunches his nose up and his eyes dart across the hall before eventually settling back on me.

           “It’s just that, well, I don’t really know where this leaves us. Will I still see you outside of work, or is that all messed up now?”

           “Why would that be messed up?”

           Spencer closes his eyes and he lets out a haggard breath.

           “Are you really gonna make me say it?”

           Even though he can’t see me, I smile up at him anyways.

           “On any other day I absolutely would, but things are a little… hectic right now. How about we put a pin in this conversation until things slow down a bit?”

           Spencer slowly opens his eyes and they roam over my face, searching.

           “You’re not uncomfortable? Considering everything that, uh, she said about me? Especially the part that pertained to you?” Spencer asks, meek and unsure.

           I shake my head.

           “I think you’ll find that I am very much the opposite of uncomfortable,” I reply. We stand there for a moment longer, just basking in the fact that after three long, miserable months, we’re finally together again.

           Spencer opens his mouth to say something, only to be cut off by Emily calling my name from further down the hall.

           “Duty calls,” I chuckle, pulling away from Spencer. “Tell you mom I said hi, and I’ll be by to visit once you have time to get settled in,” I call over my shoulder.

           I make it a good ten feet down the hall before Spencer’s tugging at my hand and pulling me flush against his chest. He hesitates for a moment, and a flash of uncertainty clouds his eyes, but then he’s pushing it down and pressing his lips to mine.

           Spencer’s lips are slightly chapped, but so, so warm as they move against mine. My response is instantaneous – I don’t hesitate for a second before I’m kissing back. The kiss is slow and tentative, as gentle and tender as it is intoxicating. It’s everything that a kiss should be and it ignites a fire in me that has me grasping at Spencer’s shirt, desperate for more. The hand that isn’t cupping the side of my face presses firmly against the small of my back, urging me forward until absolutely no space is left between us.

           Every drag of his lips against mine acts as gasoline to a flame, and I can’t help but think that Ray Bradbury said it best. It is a pleasure to burn.

           I’m the first to pull away, but it isn’t because I want to. What I want is to stay just like this – entangled in Spencer Reid – until not an inch of our bodies lay unexplored by the other. But when Emily calls out my name yet again, I force myself to stop.

           “I really need to go,” I murmur regretfully, and Spencer nods.

           “Yeah, I know.”

           But that doesn’t stop him from going in for one last, delicious kiss. This time when we break away, it’s his doing. I don’t have the self restraint to pull away twice.

           “Pinky promise you’ll come back to me in one piece?” Spencer says as he lifts his pinky finger up in offering. I link mine with his, and I smile a dopey grin at him.

           “Of course, I will,” I reply. “After all, you and I are due for one hell of a conversation.”

           I shoot him a wink before I’m running down the hall and slipping into the elevator just before the doors close. My teammates all shoot me curious looks, but I pretend like I don’t see and I lean against the wall, trying and failing to slow the rapid beating of my heart.

           It’s Stephen who approaches me when we all file out of the elevator and into the parking garage.

           “Spencer Reid wouldn’t have anything to do with that love-sick look on your face, would he?”

           I attempt to school my expression, but one pointed look from Stephen has me devolving into a fit of giggles like I’m a goddamn school girl.

           “Possibly.”

           “Possibly my ass. When we get done with this case, I expect a full explanation,” Stephen chuckles as he climbs in the back of the SUV.

           “You gossip like a teenager, Walker,” I tease as I climb in after him.

           “What can I say? You kids keep me young.”

           I let out a loud laugh at that.

           “Best shrink a girl could ask for.”

-

-

-

If suffering brings wisdom, I would wish to be less wise.

           - Unknown

taglist: @90spumkin, @wave0fg00dvibes, @bartlebyreid, @goldenxreid , @crubbycrab, @djreid , @waywardswain, @anotherr-fine-mess , @shadyladyperfection , @memoriesfornobody , @fakeauthor , @easygoingtheatre , @haylaansmi , @criminal-minds-reider , @leavesofgrass-stark​ , @anitazut​, @reidspurplescarf​ , @xoprincessmel, @pinkdiamond1016​, @eldahae​, @itsametaphorbriansblog​, @ziggystardustxo​

[shotorozu]

hellooo, i hope u are doing well! may i request headcanons for izuku and shoto comforting their s/o who's feeling depressed? reader misses their grandma cuz the grandma's birthday is near and reader couldn't visit her? i'm feeling really sad because my grandma's birthday is near but I can't visit her grave because of the pandemic. :(

reader missing her grandma

characters : midoriya izuku, todoroki shouto

fic type : headcanons [comfort, fluff]

legend : [Y/N = your name] gender neutral since it’s not specified, quirk not specific, quarantine au!

notes : im sorry about that :( the pandemic has made things so much harder— and for what? i know how you feel! a loved one died at the very beginning of quarantine, so it was difficult. besides all of that— i hope you stay healthy during these times :)

i don’t know how to title this request so,, sorry :(

≿————-　❈　————-≾

midoriya izuku

ever since the lockdown, things have been hard

no one was allowed to leave the height alliance, and all of the activities were put on hold

and because of the pandemic— no one was allowed to see their loved ones, or go out like it was normal

izuku calls his mother practically everyday, but he’s also worried about her bc he can’t see her :(

he was down at first, but eventually— he cheered up

you were doing fine, on the other hand— your attitude was pretty laxed and chill the entire time

considering that the stress of UA’s activities were non existent bc of quarantine.

izuku had no reason to be concerned with you. however— these days, you’ve been off.

around the first day, you’ve been jittery— taking walks around your room

the second day, you would limit your time in the common room to a maximum of 5 minutes

on the third day, you’ve gone radio silent

and because izuku’s dating you— he notices pretty quickly, growing worried by day 1 because of your actions

he visits you, snacks in hand— only to see you buried in a pile of blankets in the dark

“h-hey, Y/N” he speaks out, “m-may i come in.?”

you only look at him, and he takes that as a sign to come in and close the door

“what’s wrong, Y/N?” he asks, slightly nervous when you don’t answer him “you haven’t left your room in a day, have you eaten yet? are you oka—”

“i can’t see my grandmother’s grave.” the sentence itself sounded so.. sad, and izuku just wants to cry seeing you this sad

“i’m sorry, Y/N” he coddles you in his arms, and you only bury your head into his chest

“stupid quarantine,” you sniffle, “i can’t visit her, and it’s her birthday too.”

he holds you in his arms, petting your head as you let a few tears slip— crying into his chest.

izuku can’t really do anything about it, since you guys will surely face some trouble for leaving the house

but, he’ll be there to support you— promising you that the both of you guys can visit as soon as the lockdown’s restrictions die down

but for now, he prompts you with snacks— and a movie to distract you.

todoroki shouto

he’s sympathetic, and he can feel what you feel

due to quarantine and lockdown, he couldn’t visit his mother and siblings as much as he could.

he’s a little down about it since he was so used to seeing his mother every weekend

but the good side is that he can spend more time with you, since all the activities were put on hold

until the pandemic calms down

shouto is very observant of you, he might be a little dense on why you’re sad

but he’s not oblivious to your feelings

he takes glances at you, and occasional lengthy stares during the day

and he doesn’t like the sad, almost depressing expression on your face

he hates seeing you sad, and he wants to do something about it quick

“what’s wrong love?” he asks you at the end of the day, and you quirk your head to the side

you’re acting like you’re fine, but you’re not tbh

“what??”

“i’m asking you what’s wrong, you haven’t been yourself the entire day.”

fastforward to a few minutes later— and you’re tangled under your sheets, trapped in his warm embrace

“i’m sorry, shou—” you sniffle, clearly about to break

shouto’s only rubbing your back up and down with his hands— hoping that you’d elaborate on your feelings

“my grandmother’s birthday is today, and i can’t visit her grave because of the stupid pandemic.” this is when you finally crack, allowing a few tears to slip

he listens to you speak while wiping your tears, allowing you to get everything out of your system as you rant to him

shouto really sympathizes with you! he can’t visit his mom because of this stupid pandemi, but— he has you! having you is enough for him to ride this storm

“i’m sorry, love.” he kisses your temple, cooling your damp cheek with his left hand. “i know it’s hard, it must be. the pandemic will make it difficult to visit her.”

“i know, shou,”

“—but,” he continues

you blink up at him, wiping your face as you’ve stopped crying “what?”

“we can sneak out.” he says, in his very monotone voice— “it’s possible.”

you giggle, “shou, we can get in trouble.”

“not if we’re careful.”

unlike midoriya— he actually suggests to sneak out just because he can, like.. what’s stopping him from making you feel better and happy?

his words work wonders, and they unintentionally make you feel better

(and that’s just the power of shouto.)

the next day, y’all sneak out undetected, hand in hand with shouto— since he wants to pay respects

and of course with face masks and everything.

≿————-　❈　————-≾

likes and reblogs are appreciated, thanks for reading!

i do not own bnha/mha and it’s characters. boku no hero academia/my hero academia belongs to horikoshi kohei. i only own the writing

do not plagiarize my work :))

[malinaa]

fic tag game

tagged : @bellamyblakru 🥺 tysm ily

tagging : @rosesau | @evcndiaz | @bipercabeth | @bluepinstripes | @oretsov | @nerdylizj | @chroiagusanam | lichrally every other writer i follow soz i am sleeby 😴

✧ how many works do you have on ao3?

70!!! wild innit. but listen i write short oneshots all the time it’s why i look insane

✧ what’s your total ao3 word count?

186,434 words <3 i’ve been active on ao3 since 2014 so let that tell u abt my slow writing skills 

✧ how many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

i’m gonna say around ?? like 20?? some of them are part of the same universe (like comics marvel vs mcu, comics dc vs dceu, or soc vs tgv) but i’ll count it separately?? but anyways: grishaverse, marvel, dc, alex stern, merlin, t100, pjo, etc etc)

✧ what are your top five fics by kudos?

you’re there with open arms (merthur) ➤ 1166 kudos

bring me home (percabeth) ➤ 1080 kudos

myth calls me legend (merlin) ➤ 1050 kudos

nobody compares to you (tatbilb) ➤ 781 kudos

tested with torment (merlin) ➤ 697 kudos

yeah my most popular fics tend to be for merlin (esp bamf merlin which 2 of them are) 

✧ do you respond to comments? why or why not?

of course!!! i don’t wanna leave y’all hanging (and if i respond to one and not another person i feel bad dsjhkafgadksjf)

✧ what’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

most of my fics have pretty happy (ish) endings??? maybe we could meet again somewhere (percabeth) bc i killed percy off but like. it’s still ended fine 

✧ do you write crossovers? if so, what is the craziest one you’ve written?

that i’ve posted on ao3?? absolutely not. have i written crossovers with friends back when i was 12 years old and stupid?? absolutely. they will never see the light of day tho <3

✧ have you ever received hate on a fic?

it’s less Hate and more just like backhanded compliments which are just funny to read tbh

✧ do you write smut? if so, what kind?

i’ve written smut 🧍🏻‍♀️ it’s the smutty kind 

✧ have you ever had a fic stolen?

i don’t think so???

✧ have you ever had a fic translated?

ppl have asked for me to give them permission to translate it but i only say yes to the ones who will post it on ao3 bc i want to keep my work on one platform (they never post it on ao3)

✧ have you ever co-written a fic before?

technically yes but i wrote it all but the other author gave me some ideas (it’s an hp fic that i posted years ago). 

✧ what’s your all time favorite ship?

don’t do this to me i’m fragile.... good guesses are if i wrote it, i love them

✧ whats a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

glad no one on my dc blog follows my main but renegade’s return </3 i dug myself into a hole in that one . . . lichrally i am too dumb for a plot like the one i was trying to do

✧ what are your writing strengths?

perhaps my prose . . . i do write some banger lines at times. like first lines??? 😌

✧ what are your writing weaknesses?

white room syndrome at times, maybe dialogue bc i forget how ppl speak. last lines are also the bane of my existence i must say

✧ what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

do it !!! (correctly) 

✧ what was the first fandom you wrote for?

officially on ao3?? harry potter. unofficially on ff.net a decade ago??? maximum ride fanfiction . well it’s either that or pjo i don’t rly rmbr but they were around the same time 

✧ whats your favorite fic you’ve written?

i’m gonna do fav fics that i’ve written this year so . . .

august slipped away (pjo-posally)

sing, o muse (dc-bruharvey)

the birth of a monster (soc-kaz)

after the wake (dc-bruce)

the general similarity btwn all of these is the prose HITS i will absolutely be an egomaniac abt this. august slipped away is probably my Peak for this year . . . sing, o muse is one of my favs bc i melded that greek tragedy play aspect w stage directions . . . the birth of a monster is just sexy prose & after the wake is the only fic i’ve ever written that has made me physically tear up while writing it 

[fly-with-the-flock]

Oh god did I ever tell y’all that back in high school, I personally and single-handedly got fanfiction.net banned from my school’s entire internet server because I was reading and writing too much Maximum Ride fanfic in class???

Like I’m not even exaggerating. One of my teachers was in charge of the schools wifi servers and he caught me reading a fanfic in his class one time and checked my history and found that I was on it constantly, and then he grabbed his computer and blacklisted the site right then and there.

And then a few weeks later I was talking to another nerdy girl at school and she mentioned that she couldn’t get on ffn anymore and I was just like ‘oh yeah, that’s totally my fault sorry haha’

[blackfemmecharacterdependency]

BFCD Story Concepts by Nesha

Story Concept 01: No Saviors in the Wild Pt. 3

Read Pt 1 | Pt 2

Notes: Not writing out an entire cohesive story, but just hitting y’all with lore and the occasional scene is refreshing for me, but also like... I feel like I leave out so much since I’m not painting the full picture of it. So, because this is an installment of when they “met,” figured this is the good place to tell exactly what they look like. Sure, Birgundi Baker is too old to play the roles she plays and Shani is 16, but Birgundi’s look is perfect, so she is Birgundi at a 16 year old version.

Atlas, has no FC, because the image doesn’t exist in Hollywood, as far as I could find: Brown eyes, red hair, a freckles/acne collab skin type - this kid is covered in freckles - and will have acne his entire life, broad shoulders, tall, large ears, hands, feet, and Adam’s apple. Generally scowling. Has an overbite when he smiles and it's the only thing he's really self conscious about at first because when he does smile, it seems to be the thing that people's eyes move towards.

* Shani tells him it's because they're so used to boring, perfect teeth that a smile with character gives them the wrong reaction. "It makes me smile bigger," she adds, with a little shrug. He blushes and tells her to shut up.*

@shslargue​ @jacksope-lives​  Thank you for putting up with fragments of an idea that I wish I could mold into a world for you both.

A Savior is Born: The Rise of the Rebels 01

Shani: Objective problem solver, analytical mind, sometimes mistaken for being cold or detached, overthinker who doubts herself and tends to worry that she’s potentially acted or reacted without thinking with her heart.

Her field of study is communications, with special interest in linguistics, because comm can get her a media job and this is one of the careers that can make for a comfortable life in their society (lucrative, if she can handle various languages and/or several fields of communications). She’s focused on intercultural and multilingual communications at the start of the story and has a bunch of stuff about language and speech in her brain.

School is only available for pay, and Shani has applied for a program to work for her schooling - which includes lodging, clothing and food, but is extremely expensive. Students in said programs typically only have time for school and work, having to work an equal amount of hours to process payment for courses and meals, and having to put in a certain amount of hours per dollar amount of clothing, food, and class resources. She has everything available for her education accessible, but in the event that she can’t work for it, she loses that access.

Shani has been working her way through this school system since she was 10.

Prior to that, her parents struggled to pay for her to have a bright start, and also homeschooled, when they could, with outdated publications of any books that they could find, to stimulate her mind and figure out what she might excel in, because they couldn’t afford testing and she wasn’t on the successful track that kids with money were put on. Being a smart child and excellent student, Shani soon earned the right to apply for the scholarship. 

At that point, she moved into the dormitories, ate in a cafeteria that was typically full of students BUSY studying, as study hall was more expensive than at home study, and many of them had too many work hours to get a decent amount of study time in. 

Shani rarely struggled with taking in information, performed tests extremely well and didn’t take too long to complete homework, as to not interfere an extreme amount with her work schedule. A lot of the kids who were barely hanging on resent her for it, and one particular event that occurs when she’s 16 between herself and a few students who were being removed from school due to grades or insufficient work hours (both of which, at the time, Shani had the displeasure of having to be record keeper of), she was jumped and while she only shielded herself to prevent maximum damage, the aggressors had a matching story that she was involved in a fight with them and she received her sentence (and lesson that kids like her better know their place), along with an academic probation and a fine from the school. 

It was taken into consideration that for all 6 years of being in the program, she made excellent scores in all school assignments, performed admirably in all job assignments, and held perfect attendance. She wasn’t removed from the program during her sentencing, but would have to complete her courses remotely while serving her time, or repeat her semester later (having to work to pay off both the “abandoned” one and the one that she would have to make up. So, she chose to continue remotely, through her sentence.

She’s the only kid enrolled in school for the sentencing assignment and that automatically puts a target on her, from the other kids, particularly because she also clearly doesn’t belong here. They can just *tell* that she didn’t earn the sentence she’s serving, and (as always in her life when she gets into a group setting), others resent her for being where she “doesn’t belong.” The rich kids did it in class. The less adept kids did it in the dorms. These kids did it during assignments. She was used to it. But, she was actually terrified of these kids. 

They were criminals! Especially, that one. 

He was tall and imposing. Not… dangerous looking, really. He didn’t ever smile, but that didn’t mean much in a place like this. What was there to smile about? She noticed him before anybody else, even though he was quiet and not rambunctious like some of the others were on the bus ride to the worksite. She noticed him first because of his hair. 

It was bright red, but she didn’t think it was dyed. She had seen red hair before, but not as bright and it definitely wasn’t common. She’d read that it was rare, and had only gotten more rare as time went on. She could think of maybe 3 redheads that she had seen in her life, and none of their hair had ever caught her attention that way. He was covered in freckles. Every visible part of his skin that could harbor freckles appeared to. She couldn’t remember if she knew anybody with freckles, but she liked them. She could stare at them and pretend to make little images by connecting some of them. Her brain imagined a series of patterns while she looked at his arms, slightly less vivid red hairs coated them. 

And on his face, he had severe acne. She was a little entranced by it. She found herself also mentally tracing patterns in the bumps, sometimes even incorporating freckles for accent. Up until the point where her brown eyes met his and his were not as dark, but way more mean. She smiled uncomfortably, and his expression didn’t change. She made prayer hands and awkwardly turned away. She could feel him glaring at her, though. She could feel it for the rest of the ride to the woods, and didn’t dare to glance his way when they unloaded. 

They wound up standing next to each other as the chaperone took roll call, and verified their identities and sentences. Shani only looked at him again whenever the chaperone read his sentencing as “aggravated robbery.” 

He didn’t even blink. He just said, “Allegedly.” Shani noted that although he wasn’t muscular or that solid, he was even taller than he seemed on the bus… maybe 6’1 - 6’3. He was nearly a foot taller than her, at 5’5, but not quite. Still, with his broad shoulders, his brooding expression, and the collar on his neck (the consecutive crimes collar); she felt very unnerved not just being next to him, but being on this site with him. Aggravated Robbery was SERIOUS. You couldn’t even purchase an education with that type of charge. Of course, Shani WOULD be thinking in terms of education. She didn’t even know this boy. His education wasn’t her business... 

Next, the chaperone read her name, and stated, “First time violent offense?” And she read it like it was unbelievable and all of the kids looked at Shani as the woman continued, “Judging from your record, I’m assuming that you’re here because of a misunderstanding?”

Shani felt her face grow warm with everyone staring, including Mr. Collar, but she explained, in a low voice, “All I did was try to shield myself. I’ve always read that if you never attempt a hit, you can plead self defense. There were multiple assailants, therefore, my defense was futile and the judge sided with my aggressors, that it was a fight instead of a gang attack.” She heard groans and snickers. She looked at the redhead. He shook his head in disbelief. She didn’t know why, but it made her feel very insignificant. She didn’t realize that the last thing that she should have done in that moment was tell everyone THAT. The chaperone gave her a sympathetic smile and moved on. Mr. Collar scoffed, laughed a little and turned away from her. She studied his profile. His eyes drifted over, checking to see if she was looking at him. Whenever he turned to face her again, she quickly looked away, her face hot from being on the verge of being caught staring again. 

Whenever she glanced back, he was still staring. He didn’t look as mean as on the bus. He seemed to be... studying her. She would have loved to know what he was thinking. Whatever it was, his brown eyes were softer than before, at least. She offered a smile and he didn’t return it, but at least he wasn’t glaring. He turned away very suddenly, like something had happened. She noticed that he looked like he was turning red. That was... interesting. Imagine somebody tall and dangerous blushing over one little smile. Her own face grew warm at the thought. He might be... whatever the records alleged... but he was a tall boy with features she liked, too.

[lovelylogans]

I 100% want to follow you down this path, please tell us the thoughts. The books were a source of frustration for me, because I knew there was a good story and characters in there somewhere, they were just fighting against the (and I say this with the knowledge that these are his only books I've read and I haven't even read these books in such a long time) shitty author. I would very much like to hear any and all rants, and I'm also excited that you liked Iggy! Iggy, Nudge and Max were good

oh he absolutely hired ghostwriters and that’s the reason the books are so inconsistent in plot, there was never a cohesive story except for the first two/three books. the story could have been So Fucking Fire but james MORON patterson said “moneyyyy” and decided to keep FUCKING going to the point where there is a SPINOFF SERIES that i REFUSE to read because i put myself through “nevermore” AND “forever” MULTIPLE TIMES there is NO WAY you can come back from THE APOCALYPSE?????? bro the world ENDED it’s a NUCLEAR WINTER they are STUCK UNDERGROUND

but yes. Opinions. 

look, i go into all this with the full knowledge that “james patterson” didn’t even care enough about the continuing arcs of plot to decide if his heroine’s hair should be blonde or brown (it switched several times; one time i went through and counted how many times it changed, and it was in the double digits) but I Care so here we go

uhhhh, maya/dylan was right fuckin there. it was RIGHT fuckin there and he didn’t even???? IT WAS RIGHT THERE!!!!!!! IT COULD HAVE BEEN SO GOOD!!!!! THE REJECTED CLONE AND THE “PERFECT” CLONE THEY WERE RIGHT THERE AND I CAN’T EVEN REMEMBER IF THEY EVER MET

maya and dylan both deserved better, in terms of storytelling AND the hate they got from the fandom. dylan was nice, y’all are just mean

except for the part where max was understandably upset by fang leaving and dylan started calling her pathetic for Taking A Breather and Sitting Down In A Tree? fuck that. let the girl have emotions, she was fifteen

ari’s whole arc is HEARTBREAKING, however the fact that they just. brought him BACK from the dead and cloned him SO MANY TIMES let the poor seven-year-old rest in PEACE, PLEASE,

max should’ve been the one to murder jeb batchelder. also when they cast the movie, jeb batchelder’s particular Brand Of Evil can only be achieved by a white man

on the note of casting—max (and the martinezes) are latina, fang is described as “olive skinned” and dark haired so he’s likely also a poc, nudge is black. i watched the jenna marbles movie and like. max is bleach blonde in that movie. maximum “i cut my hair off with a kitchen knife” ride is bleach. blonde. when she is in HIDING in the MOUNTAINS. also ella and dr. martinez, i’m pretty sure, were played by white women, which, :/.

similar to jeb, angel has to be cast as the most White, curly blonde haired, blue-eyed little girl, like the most Innocent looking child possible, because her downfall is straight out of a horror movie. liked her in the first book but by now i would punt her across a football field

iggy was subject to so much ableism. he’s the same age as max and fang and yet he’s lumped in with the rest of “the kids” because he’s blind, he was left behind in the first book with the eight year old when the eleven year old got to come along, and iggy’s character overall deserved better. they describe his wings maybe once in the book and basically all his powers have to do with “regaining his sight” which has some FUCKING YIKES undertones

nudge was subject to Internalized Misogyny from max (which ofc was misogyny from the author) bc she liked to shop, and she enjoyed fashion and pretty things. i adore nudge and she deserved better and you know what, her wanting to stay in a human school and be “normal” was valid of her she was eleven

gazzy’s only personality traits being “farts” and “explosions” ....buddy i’m so sorry you deserved a bit more solid characterization you got flanderized so bad

liked fang but where the fuck did his “immortality” genes come from. legitimately what the fuck. mans DIED a couple books ago and now he’s iMMORTAL?

this bitch.... god him running away? the Letter kind of kills me but also like. bitch. your girlfriend is destined to save the world. she can handle herself. 

in retrospect it was the Most Gen Z Thing Ever for fang to run a blog. if they wrote the books today he would be doing tiktok dances in front of itex blowing up prove me wrong

angel was super overpowered. the mind-reading, mind-controlling, breathe-under-water, talks-to-fish, shapeshifting six year old also gets to be the one who saves the world when the WHOLE BOOK has led up to MAX saving the world??? right. yeah.

no seriously angel was FUCKED UP do you remember the way max REACTED to the chip in her arm in book 1/2 on the beach, and angel STILL KEPT PRETENDING TO BE THE VOICE?????? WHAT???????

the voice could have also been cool but that was fucked up, as was the rest of the plot.

NO SERIOUSLY DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN ANGEL STRAIGHT UP SIDED WITH GUNTHER-HANS AND POINTED A GUN AT MAX SHE WAS SUPER FUCKED UP

snot bubble. SNOT. BUBBLE. DO YOU REMEMBER THAT. THE FUCKING SNOT BUBBLE SAVED THEIR LIVES. WHAT.

i’m probably gonna think of more tbh but that’s what i’ve got right now

[emorish-avian]

a handful of random lil things that i am currently planning to put in my rewrite that might change later but also maybe not, who knows:

- gazzy puts aside his own struggles and emotions because he knows max is dealing witj A Lot and he doesn’t want to complain because he’s a Trooper! a Strong Kiddo! his issues are not important right now because there are Bigger Things to Deal With! and then this all culminates in Very traumatic interesting ways

- also gazzy gets struck by lightning because Angst And Development (does this sound over the top and extra as hell? yes. will it make sense with the plot? also yes)

- fang acquires a crowbar and keeps it, because it’s a useful weapon... but mostly because of the pun. it’s a CROW bar. how can he not? (in wvw it’s confirmed that his bird dna is from a crow lol)

- iggy’s intelligence actually being shown and expanded upon oh hell yeah we stan an actual genius

- also iggy is edgy and fang and nudge help him bleach and tone his hair so that it’s white, because ~the aesthetique~

- nudge throws knives because i love her and it’s what she deserves. she also in fact does this with extreme accuracy because she can in fact control metal and i FULLY intend to have her actually USE her ability. fang is jealous bc like duh. throwing knives is cool as HELL. anyways god i love nudge

- speaking of nudge, ella hears how the flock constantly tells her to stop talking and she’s like. “girl you LIVE like this??????”

- and also speaking of their powers... the flock actually USES them. what a concept

- dylan cannot read or write (at first). he can see really fucking well, wow that’s so cool doctor gh, but have you considered TEACHING HIM TO LIKE. READ SENTENCES. PERHAPS

- lmao

- The Illiterate Duo: ari and dylan

- The I Have No Sense Of Personal Identity Gang: dylan and maya (clone problems amirite)

- angel gets actual development and real human emotions and shit instead of being the textbook Adorable Creepy OP Child Trope

- nino pierpont is actually a bad guy! haven’t decided to what degree yet, but he definitely ain’t good

- the “you’re not my dad, i’m LITERALLY in a tank and you’re not” meme. haven’t decided with who yet tho lol

- y’all remember mike, the hacker guy? yeah he’s gonna play a bit more of a part in the series. also jp never specified his race so he’s not gonna be white. representation babey. same with ratchet. canon race not specified so he ain’t white either

- iconic duo of super smart characters of color with a promising future who fell of the rails due to the system failing them: mike and ratchet (whos probably gonna go by rat because i can do what i want)

- iggy’s whole “can see when everything is bright white and also sort of underwater” thing is stupid so we’re not doing that. however he is going to use echolocation because that’s cool as fuck. hell yeah.

- despite an earlier post about not including total in the rewrite i think i will, because like. the way he’s introduced is one of the VERY few things about maximum ride that i love. “yeah he can talk but he’s not that interesting lol” angel sweetie that is the FUNNIEST fucking thing anyone has ever said oh my GOD

- fang does, in fact, listen to 100gecs

- waverwings is set in modern times (ignoring current events bc fuck major historical events this is escapism babey) so the flock? gen z. except maybe angel and gazzy i think they might be gen alpha, idk. so basically what i’m saying is.... tik toks. fucking. tik toks

- oh and also gen77 kids? making SO many memes about being gen z and gen77.

- “oh you’re gen z? well i’m gen z AND gen77. get on my level, pleb.”

- snl wants what i have

anyways there’s a fuckton more and none of this probably makes any sense because there’s little to no context, but you know what? sometimes i just gotta be incoherent. and i think that’s beautiful ✌️😔

[sourpatchkidsandacokecan]

Little Darlin's All Things Fall Writing Challenge

Jumping straight into this, y’all know the deal!

Rules and things!

You don’t have to be following me, but it would sure be spooky if ya did!

Please signal boost this so it doesn’t flop!

Open for all Marvel characters!

Send me your pairing and prompt in an ask! That way I can keep track of things easier in case tumblr implodes, a url changes, whatever!

Use the “keep reading” insert on anything over 500 words

No word minimum or maximum

Use proper warnings please!

No rape/incest

This does not have to be spooky! it could be the fluffiest Halloween fic ever and I would love it because I love all things Halloween!

AU’s are allowed, especially Supernatural AU

Fic due date: November 10th, 2019

@ me in the fic when you post and  # it #ldatfwc

Once a prompt is gone, it’s gone! If I run out of prompts I will try to find or cook up some more!

That’s it! Any questions feel free to send them via DM or my askbox

Prompts below the cut!

"Hold on, you have hay in your hair." @all1e23 w/ bucky

“Take that mask off it’s creeping me out.”

“Babe, the sweets are meant to be for the trick or treaters.” @mrsalh32611 w/ bucky

“You’re on my cape.” @just-the-hiddles w/ loki

“Trick or treat!” / “You live here.” / “It was worth a go.” @intheendyouwillalwayskneel w/ clint

“Dead men tell no tales, but we do bend the truth alot.” @sebastianstanfavpita w/ bucky

“Out of all the items in this thrift store, you find the only cursed one.” @iambuckyrogers w/ carol

“With the last breathe in it’s body, it cursed me to death.” @afewmarvelousthoughts w/ natasha

“You can’t sell me your soul, when you don’t have one to begin with.”

“Okay, who’s raising the dead when I’m trying to sleep?” @sammy-jo1977 w/ daredevil/matt

“My life goal is to be a swamp witch.” @slithredn w/ jessica

“The full moon is out tonight. You know what that means.” @chuuulip w/ bucky

“Do you think it tickles when ghost pass through things?” @nacho-bucky w/ clint

“How long have you been dead?” / “Roughly 70 years.” / “Damn. Guess I missed the funeral then.” @afewmarvelousthoughts w/ bucky

“Bite me!” / “No thanks. I’m trying to go on a diet.” @oliviawestbay w/ natasha

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but you didn’t have wings yesterday, right?” @rebloggerblogging w/ pietro

“I will dress up as literally anything else, but don’t make me wear this.” @saltybaltic w/ natasha

“We should do a couples costume.” @a-crowd-of-newsies w/ tony

“You’re too old to go trick-or-treating.” @avintagekiss24 w/ bucky

“I know the neighborhood by heart, which also means I know exactly which houses give out the King Size bars.” @selfcare101stuff w/ loki

“I thought you agreed I should wear this costume to the party tonight?” / “Oh I agreed to you wearing it tonight, but I had no party in mind” @shield-agent78 w/ bucky 

“Come on, just let me scare a few trick-or-treaters.” “You’re going to horrify them!” “It’ll build character.” @spacemansam w/ peter q

“Oh my gourd, I think the crystal ball is working. The spirits are telling me you’re a dumbass.” @justagaymess w/ natasha

“Making out in a graveyard?” @friday-ocean w/ steve

“Did you seriously injure yourself carving a pumpkin?” @caws5749 w/ natasha

“There are some things about Halloween you don’t understand.” @notyetneedcoffee w/ steve

“You look the same as you did 600 years ago.” / “Thanks. I have a great skin care routine.” @lexxierave w/ loki

“Do you remember where I put my grimoire?” @daffodilsbucky w/ bonky😉

“Vampires, geez.”

“Your soul, or hers.” @bettercaptain w/ steve

“I hate costumes, just get me a shirt.” @infinity-witch clint x natasha

“I can finally wear my sweaters.” / “You mean my sweaters?” @lesbian-deadpool w/ natahsa

“Don’t you just love it when the trees change colors?” @marvelgirl7

“Did you seriously just jump into the leaves I spent an hour raking?” / “Possibly.” @jobean12-blog w/ bucky

“Stop picking up the leaves its gross.” / “But they’re pretty.” / “That one has a spider on it.” @the-unspoken-rule w/ sam

“The fall fairs this weekend, we have to go.” @littleredwritinghood13 w/ bucky

“Who knew it would be this cold?” / “Me, that’s why I brought you extra gloves.” / “Well I was just gonna ask to hold your hand…” @multi-fandom-imagine w/ stephen

“Nothing is better than a crisp fall day and hot apple cider.”

“Apple cider is better than pumpkin spice and on this hill I will die!”

“I don’t do horror movies- no, puppy dog eyes are against the rules, you can’t make me- fine, I’ll watch a scary movie with you” @dtrainwin w/ bucky

“I had an amazing idea for a Halloween costume but it requires two people, can you please be the other person?” @sincerelymlg w/ bucky

“I’m having a bonfire. You should join me.” @wkemeup w/ bucky

“Ooh! A pumpkin patch! We have to stop.”

“Do you want to check out that corn maze?” @sunmoonandbucky w/ bucky

“I hate haunted houses. Why would I pay for someone to scream at me?” @harringtonsbaseballbat w/ loki

“I thought you said we were gonna watch a scary movie?” / “We are!”  / “Y/N, Hocus Pocus isn’t a scary movie.” @ruckystarnes w/ sam

“Is that my shirt?” / “It’s the only one that will warm my cold soul.” @louhooo w/ bucky

“That hay ride was a lot scarier than I thought it would be.” @jessiejunebug w/ loki

“I just wanted to jump into a pile of leaves once in my life, I didn’t notice you were in there!”  @spectralbucky w/ steve

“It’s storming pretty bad out there, I think we have to cancel our Halloween plans…” @stanningsebucky w/ bucky

"Being normal is vastly overrated."

"Are you going to start wearing all of my sweaters now?" / "First of all, they're our sweaters." @awkwardfangirl2014 w/ bucky

“Hot cider and a warm blanket — what else could I need right now?”

“Is fall supposed to be this cold?”

“It’s snowing... in October.” @winterromanov w/ bucky

"'Who ya gonna call?'" / "Uh- (insert other character name)." / "You mean to tell me you don't even know about Ghostbusters?" (This dialogue prompt can be played with a bit, or insert more dialogue between those three lines to make it work) @spacemansam w/ bucky

“Cuddling always helps combat cold weather.”

“Ugh, I think my fangs are coming loose.”

“I love you almost as much as I love this weather.”

"I don't want to look 'pretty.' I want to look otherworldly and vaguely threatening."

“At least we’re cozy now.” @evanstarff w/ bucky

“I made four different types of soup. Is that over-doing it?”

“Do you think this sweater is too big?” “A sweater can never be too big.”

“I think I need to put on a few more sweaters.”

“Grab the blankets, we’re going stargazing.” @nobernieyouareunderreacting w/ bucky

[altissiavibritannia]

Still open for story commissions!

Prices-

Poem- $5

Chapter- $15

Book - $15 per chapter

OC Template - $3

Fanfic - $10 per chapter

Things I’ll do (if it’s not on this list then it’ll be on the other one or ask me)

Pokemon Beyblade/Beywheelz Yu-Gi-Oh! Blue Dragon Final Fantasy Wings of Fire Warriors (Erin Hunter) Harry Potter Eragon Spyro Sonic Aus/Themes (certain ones) Fetishes (certain ones) Monsters (Taurs, nagas, etc.) Monster Musume MGE (Monster Girl Encyclopedia) Vampire Knight Fruits Basket Sailor Moon Fire Force Soul Eater Durararara! Shugo Chara Silver Spoon (farming anime/manga) Hotel Transylvania My Little Pony Zootopia Beastars (new to this, haven't read it yet, but about to!) Kakuriyo Bed and Breakfast for Spirits Code Geass Free! (still waiting for season 4) My Hero Academia Death Note Naruto (No Baruto!!!) Gravity Falls Adventure Time Yuri On Ice!!! Vocaloid Tokyo Ghoul Frozen (but no g or pg ratings, cuz I tried and failed many times over) Stargate (kind of...never watched much of it due to being busy) Dinosaur King Wild Kratts (Am willing to rewatch this, never got to see it as a kid or seen all of it) Attack on Titan Gugure! Kokkuri-San Merman in my Tub The Wolf-Boy Is Mine! Lumine (Webtoon comic) Future Diary Hellsing LPS (Littlest Pet Shop) Barnyard The Original Party Animals Maximum Ride Witch and Wizard American Dragon Jake Long Kung Fu Panda HTTYD (How To Train Your Dragon and the tv shows too) Bleach (And no not the stuff irl! The anime/manga!) Winx (Never see all of it, just bits and pieces of it as a kid) Brer Rabbit JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure’s Yaoi Mpreg Eggnancy (bird/angel/demon/snake/etc. only) Harem Tf Tg And a few more (I'll let ya know if I know it and will agree to it or not.)

Things that I will not do EVER!!! (do don’t even think about forcing me to do so!)

DragonBall Yuri (Girl xGirl, I have troubles doing that. I want to try it, but hard) Straight pairings (fanmade or cannon. Straight pairings ruined my life!!!) Diapers (I don't mind it at times on babies or toddlers, but not messy ones, including adults being in them...that's not funny...) Inflammation Turning obese people into extreme obese (dafuq is wrong with you?! I hate that big time...makes me feel sad every time I see it and then disgusted as fuck at the same time. Don't you dare force me on it! Chubby is ok, but not this...) Toilet/Potty mouths/tf stories or art (Just no....) Breast ass/crotch (The fuck is wrong with you?! Sure sows and such might have more than four tits, but this is gross and a fucking nightmare! So you might as well go sit in a corner and think what you did wrong with this "fetish"! Nasty as fuck dude! I even looked up Code Geass fanart on here and DA and that's nasty! Yeah ass cheeks or dicks/balls as female breasts...*vomits in trashcan*) One Piece (No thankx...) Minecraft Roblox Simpsons Family Guy (and it's nasty ass spinoffs) Futurama Beavis and Butthead and every other thing that I might hate, dislike, or feel uncomfortable with!

If y’all have questions and/or wish to make a bargian, let me know through dms please. 

[inkdrinkershadowsinger]

Thoughts/Background on Chamber of Secrets

There simply cannot be neighborhoods like this, where there are miles upon miles of cookie cutter homes that stretch out into the horizon. Does anyone know if this is a real shot? Or did they multiply the houses like they do to extras in a battle scene?

I never noticed that this photo album is this detailed. There is a little J and L on either side of James and Lily’s photo here. Hagrid is an artist.

It’s on every page? Was this supposed to be something that Hagrid found from Godric’s Hollow? How did he get something so specific? Or is that rumor true that Hagrid owled Lily and James friend’s and Remus, who had been left things like this when there was no one else left to claim them, got it off his bookshelf and sent it to his best friends’ son?

I like how Harry’s room progressively becomes more his own. Look at it in this movie, the walls are bare, everything is relatively tame and plain verses in Order of The Phoenix, when Harry’s room has distinctly more decoration.

Those pink candlesticks are ghastly.

Harry, my darling, you have been getting letters it is merely a well meaning house elf who has stopped them. I wonder what everyone else thought about Harry’s silence? Especially Hermione. Did she think for even a moment that Harry and Ron had decided that they didn’t want to be her friend at all? Ron isn’t much of a writer, and Harry wasn’t responding. I don’t want to know what kind of a mind fuck that must have been to 12 year old Hermione who had just got home from “magic school”, and none of her new “friends” were responding to her letters.

We have heard that theory that James is Harry and Sirius is Ron, etc. But Dudley is Petunia. Dudley and Harry were raised in the same house, closer than cousins because of location alone. But whereas Petunia never got over the resentment that she felt towards Harry in book seven Dudley was more concerned for Harry’s well-being when they were leaving for the safe house then I think Petunia ever was if Lily ever mentioned how hard and dangerous things were getting during the First Wizarding World. Dudley received some characterization and growth where Petunia never bothered.

Harry sounds so sarcastic when he says that.

Dang! Every time Harry leaves his room he has to see a pencil drawing of Dudley’s face? The Dursley’s cruelty knows no bounds.

All of this decoration, and the shelf are missing from the first scene with Harry in this movie.

Harry is just like, “Fuck it all.”

But he’s got manners galore.

At this point, Harry has never seen a house elf. He has no idea what a house elf does. He has no idea why one would be in his bedroom. He has no idea that this even is a house elf? Why is he so calm? This could be a blood thirsty toga wearing creature that they only study in seventh year, and yet, Harry is all but like, “Can I take your coat, sir?”

And now he’s crying, (those could have been lethal gas releasing nerve agents), and now he’s hitting himself (gearing up for attack.) Oh, Harry, number one at defense my arse.

And their champagne flutes are pink? You can’t buy taste.

Those people look so offended like, “You have a cat? How common.”

I know that the fanon is that wizarding children all heard bedtime stories about Harry Potter, but Dobby is proof that other beings also heard about Harry’s triumph over the Dark Lord.

Who painted that picture on Harry’s wardrobe? Dean Thomas, fanon artist. Or does Harry Potter have latent creative talent? Or can you buy these out of the Hogwart’s catalog? Lol

Dobby is like, “Oh, shit, I should not have said that.”

This is where Harry’s Gryffindor really shows because he could just lie to Dobby, but he doesn’t. It’s that Gryffindor honesty.

The man is just like, “Oh, look, cake. Neither of them even looks angry.

Vernon bowered Niall Horan’s hat for this scene.

Harry sleeps with the scrapbook right by his bed. Someone shoot me.

I love that to Ron, Fred, and George that this is a completely normal thing for them to be doing. None of them look nervous about flying a car in a Muggle neighborhood. Destruction of property? Who gives a fuck? They are just like, we have to do what we have to do for our bud. Just a regular drive around.

Hedwig is very annoyed at being called a pigeon.

Ron knows to appreciate the simple things. Tell you mate Happy Birthday, no werid shows of masculinity here.

I love the Burrow. I love the position of the Burrow. I love that they are surrounded by land and a little pond. I love that it is secluded, and that it looks pieced together.

The inside of the Burrow is stunning. You have the Farm House sink. The detailed windows. The hardwood surfaces. The eclectic but perfectly fitting furniture. It would be considered chic to many a Muggle. And that DOOR, that opens up, and then also opens out. The extra space above that little cubbie. Fireplace. Hand, or magic, knitted blankets.

There is a wooden orange cat, a la, Crookshanks on the fireplace there.

Ginny is me.

He says, “Morning Weasleys.” Like they are a clan. He could totally use that tone and call them all to action.

I feel like Mrs. Weasley could sound more disappointed here. I feel like she is kind of annoyed, but also kind of interested in their little stunts as well.

The stainglass windows, the open placement for the dishes, like this house is amazing!

“Dumbledore must know that you’re here.” So, the headmaster is the one who can keep track of the placement of certain students and their whereabouts, or is this simply a case where Mrs. Figg informed Dumbledore that Harry had taken off. Can you imagine that letter? Like, “Super sorry, Professor Dumbledore, but it seems as if Number Four Pivet Drive has been attacked by three red haired boys in a flying car. The red haired youngsters seemed to be on quite friendly terms with Mr. Potter however, as they helped them into the flying vehicle. Just thought that I should mention it.

Sincerely,

               Arabella Figg

 So, does Appartition take a lot out of a witch or wizard? Why don’t Mr. and Mrs. Weasley just apparate all the kids to the Diagon Alley? Is there such a thing as flooing by twos or threes? Because that would also be useful. Are there many fireplaces lining Diagon Alley like the tones that are shown in seven part one in the Ministry? Where to they floo into? Just one of the thousands of questions that need answers, Mrs. Rowling.

There is a gilded head of an elephant behind Harry’s head before Harry examines closely a cabinet that seems to follow a very tight skull aesthetic for maximum creep.

On the top shelf, there seems to be a lamp? A magical one?

More skulls. The hand of glory, that is mentioned in the books. And then a vase full of eye balls. This place is a health hazard. I know the wizarding world lacks mental health professionals, but you’re telling me they don’t have health inspectors?

Harry looks like he has been covered in spiderwebs. When was the last time that Floo was used?

Who are these random people just immediately accosting a twelve year old boy?

They pass a book seller. Knowledge is the root of all power.

The sign in front says from top to bottom: Quality. Value. Ease. Style. Then I think, Variety.

Hermione is internally shrugging because of course her ride or die new friend is covered in ash and has broken glasses. Of course, he is.

The girl behind them as they walk away looks back at them like, “Oh, Harry Potter.”

The fashion and lighting in this movie went from drab and seventeen hundreds to really flamboyant and really stylish with bright colors. I love that the dashes of color really followed them into the other films. Even Prisoner of Azkaban with its more muted color scheme is still vibrant.

The front page that reads: Gilderoy Lockhart gives Wizarding Wolrd Hero Hygiene Tips. Ash free for the cameras, always.

They are literally crammed into the bottom floor of this shop, and Draco Malfoy has an excellent view from above?

Ginny’s got some balls. Love her. All the boys are silent, and she just ain’t taking no shit.

Like Lucius, it is not okay to fondle people’s foreheads, you creepy mother f-er.

Hermione is a bad bitch. Like she knows how dangerous magic can be know, and yet, she doesn’t back down from this grown wizard.

They are all dirty. What happened to scourgify? Or were they scouring grate after grate trying to find Harry, and just didn’t have time after the relief of finding him? Literally, no one else is dirty.

Ginny’s trunk has a Hogwart’s emblem. And we all know the Weasley’s use hand me down items. Whose trunk does she have?

Like Ronald, this is not logical. Dang! I know y’all aint in Ravenclaw, but you are twelve years old. This is basic.

“Your hands all sweaty.” This is no time to be a snob, Harry.

So, did the car fail because they hit Hogwart’s wards? That would seem logical for its sudden failure.

It could also be why the Womping Willow attacked the car so viscously. It may have sensed that this car doesn’t belong to the grounds, and thus, could potentially be a threat. So, it tried to dislodge and pulverize the threat.

Pete, you rat bastard.

This car knows its way around Hogwarts? Or did some of the sentient magic that is in Hogwarts take over the car, and that is why it saved Harry and Ron when they were in the forest with the acromantulas.

To make things more environmentally friendly. The Daily Prophet should have a self updating paper, that changes with each news day. People can still buy the others, if they want to keep them for posterity, but I mean, come on, save the planet.

I feel like this is just a flashback for Snape. James getting away with everything and now Harry.

And Ron, is just so used to getting caught out by Mrs. Weasley, that he just instantly thinks that he is going home.

The look on Snape’s face is so sad here. Will no one ever take this man’s side?

I like this overhead view of the greenhouses. I like the idea too, that there are several levels of greenhouses. The ones that we see in this movie are close to the castle and are set for first and second years, but then the Greenhouses that we see in Half Blood Prince are set away a bit from the castle for the upper years. And some are just for Professor Sprout.

There are little dragon statues on top of the greenhouses. That’s a bit ironic.

Do you think that those large pot like things hanging from the ceiling are

Like, how common is getting petrified, that this would be in second year school book. Also, why were they being grown in the first place if there uses were so rare.

Headcanon that Neville truly developed an interest in Herbology when he fainted that year. He went back to see what work he missed, and Professor Sprout was just straight battling some giant carnivorous plant, and just kicking the fertilizer out of it, and Neville helps her. Then she shows him something else, and something else, and talks about all the things that plants can do, and what they are capable of achieving. “But that’s normally a lesson I reserve for the older years.” But Neville doesn’t want to wait, he wants to do it now. He goes back to the common room with several borrowed books from Professor Sprout, and he is never the same again.

We are legit just going to leave a student lying on the ground. Are we? The wizarding world is really survival of the fittest.

There is a studious Ravenclaw behind them there, reading away.

Neville still has flashbacks to be honest.

When the wizarding world doesn’t have cell phones to yell at or embarrass your children with, you hit them with a howler. Respect.

This DADA room is surrounded with pictures of Lockhart. All the frames along the side of the room are pictures of Lockhart. Bless this man.

This painting of Lockhart is painting a picture of Lockhart.

He bought those Cornish Pixies on the Wizarding Web.

Is that a skeleton of a hippogriff handing above them there?

Even the pixies have had it with Lockhart’s shit books.

The painting Lockhart runs out of the way as well.

Hermione is a baddie.

Hogwarts is so beautiful.

Flint, Wood is tired of your shit.

Hermione and Ron smell trouble, and are like, “I’m going to get me some of that.” Because Gryffindors.

Clap back Hermione.

I love that in the book everyone reacts to what Draco calls Hermione. I wish they would have included that a bit more in the movie.

Ron must have learned that from somewhere, but instead of someone helping him, they just laugh.

This interaction here with Hagrid and Hermione always melts my heart. I like to think that Hagrid is one of the reasons that Hermione worked so hard later in life for the protection and promotion of creature rights. Hagrid being a half giant.

Hagrid is number one. Let’s be real.

Where can I get this level of staged photograph when I go to the Wizarding World in May?

Lockhart is like, “Dang, the fame is already getting to this one. What a shame.”

Harry hears someone threatening to murder people, and of course, he runs right to them.

If Tom Riddle had a giant, most likely extremely hard to kill snake, why didn’t he just try to ride it on out of Hogwarts, take over Diagon and flatten everything? Why didn’t he come back for it during the first wizarding world?

Ron is not down with spiders, and neither am I.

Look, this may be a controversial opinion, but I love Mrs. Norris, and I think that her and Filch are cute and are not to be messed with.

Let’s be real, Filch has been hearing for a solid year from Snape about how Harry Potter is such a little shit. That rage has got to come from somewhere.

Ron, Hermione, and Harry thinking that they were just about to sneak off. Dumbledore is like, “Bitch, please.”

Hermione, Harry, and Ron: “Is Snape taking up for us….actu….oh, wait, of course not.”

I feel so bad for Filch here. That cat is probably the only thing in the whole world that he actually loves.

McGonagall has a large number of zoo like cages in her classroom as well. Her classroom is also very symmetrical, from the two blackboards, to the candles in the front of the room.

Draco and Goyle are reluctantly impressed.

That is the beautiful thing about libraries. There is an unlimited amount of information available at any point in time.

I’m glad that there is at least one adult in the common space for the students. Is that supposed to be Madam Pince? Or a helpful teaching assistant? We all know that the teachers at Hogwarts have an intense work load.

Why is there a spider depicted on the woman’s head in this book?

I just imagine that every time that Harry is in the air that Ron and Hermione experience quite a lot of anxiety.

I can just hear Lucius in the stands saying, “We do not show off for such people.” When the snitch is right beside Draco’s head.

I feel that Lucius grew into being a good father when the threat of his family became a reality. I think before he judged Draco by too harsh means because things were always rather simple in his mind. He thought he was the best, and Draco should be too. But he was humbled, and became a better father because of it.

Dobby strictly uses the word, “Enslavement” here. That word makes what Hermione does with Spew seem less radical.

The table is decorated with the phases of the moon.

Snape rises from the crowd like a ghost.

How on Earth did Lockhart get Snape to agree to do this? He had to have accosted him in the staffroom or during a meeting when Snape couldn’t get away.

“Severus, I really think it would be a great idea. We could really give the kids something exciting, riveting, and imaginative.”  It is only when McGonagall tells him that he could probably get Lockhart on his perfectly pictured arse a few times that Snape considers it, and eventually concedes.

The most iconic Drarry line ever. “Scared, Potter?” “You wish.”

Can conjured things kill people? Or are they just charms? Is the pain temporary, or a real solid thing that can seriously damage?

Is this study hall?

Harry Potter has the crappiest luck ever.

Some of the headmasters and headmistresses seem to be still. I like the idea that all of the professors that get promoted to that level get to be immortalized whether they would like to put apart of them inside of a portrait or not.

I really like the idea of Dumbledore as a scholar and an academic, so I really like that they show all of his scrolls and books.

I feel like Fawkes dying and then being rebirthed among the flames is a really poignant thing for Harry to experience at this stage in his life. This image of the phoenix dying, but still having life probably stuck with Harry and it might have been something that he thought about when he was preparing to walk into the forest in book seven.

Hagrid has got Harry’s back, and I love it. He is a really good friend.

This image of the Black Lake frozen over, and the students being pulled across it’s icy surface is stunning.

Hermione was training to join MI6 before she got her Hogwarts letter, and no one can tell me differently.

Are flying treats that common that Crabbe and Goyle are just like, “Dead on.” It must have been a cute thing that there house elves did for them when they were children, levitating treats or toys in the air for them to grab. Or their parents showing them magic and giving them treats at the same time. Otherwise, how would they have ever thought, “You know what? Excellent and safe idea to eat these random treats.”

Harry literally doesn’t know here which one is Crabbe and which one is Goyle.

The Slytherin common room looks way more lush then the Gryffindor common room. I feel like you can see really clearly into the Black Lake there, and since it is frozen over, the light that you see is light blue instead of green. I mean, look at how big there common room is. It looks like they have a designated study area and everything.

Draco, don’t be the stereotype of rich boys who steal. Just don’t.

Myrtle is not to be fucked with, bro.

A young Tom Riddle for sure got this one year for Christmas at Wool’s orphanage before the war started, and things got so tight that they couldn’t even afford three meals a day. Then, like everything in his past, he transferred these basic Muggles things to something more extraordinary, like him.

Tom Riddle in this movie is a hottie. Like, y’all can’t even fight me because there is no denying his killer beauty….get it?

Okay, so are we thinking that during this flashback that Tom’s soul piece is not only aware that Harry is watching a scene from his life, but is also, acting out the part of himself? He is the director and the lead, so to say.

I like this sequence because it shows more insight into who Tom Riddle is, and where the fear of death started to come from. I wish that Rowling would have made this connection more thoroughly for the viewers of the movies. A single mention of there being too many bombs, or a lot of fighting by Tom here when he is talking with Dumbledore would have provided some more insight into this character.

Ginny knows how to do some damage. I think it would have been easier for them to figure out. Girls can get up boy’s dorms, but boys cannot get up to girl’s dorms. It would have had to have been a Gyrffindor. The common room couldn’t have been completely empty. Hermioen could have fact checked this, and figured out who had wrecked their dorm.

Look at those game plans back there. I just envision, Oliver Wood drawing frantically on the blackboard wild circles that simulate flying motions, but he goes too quickly for everyone else to understand what he’s saying, and thus, the only one who knows the plan is Wood, himself.

Did they show Colin’s friends his frozen body? Or Penelope and Justin’s? Not one person in this school thinks of the potentially traumatizing circumstances that they are putting these kids through.

It is popular fanon that McGonagall and Riddle went to school together. From this perspective, it would be doubly as traumatizing for her to hear that the school could be closing again.

Ron is me. I ain’t messing with no mother flipping spiders.

Ron is no help in this scenario. Absolutley none.

Harry replacing Hermoine’s flowers, and thus subtly telling the viewers how much time has elapsed.

Harry is wickedly smart. He is also very logical which I think attributes a lot to that sarcastic personality that he has.

McGonagall has some Slytherin in her for sure. She went from worried to blasting Lockhart in 2.5.

Lockhart packed up really quickly. It was almost like he….. had….experience…leaving…quickly.

I wonder if Lockhart’s victims ever got any retribution after he wound up in St. Mungos. It’s almost certain that his sales went up when he got admitted to the hospital just because of the public’s sheer curiosity and gossip mongering.

Salazar Slytherin was one slick mother f-er. “I’m going to hide my chamber in the bathroom.”

I can just imagine Riddle not having a lot of time in between OWLS and what not, and taking the easy way out and opening the Chamber whenever he could just to chuck down dead rabbits and chickens. Forays into the Forbidden Forest were many for Tom’s minions back then.

Honestly, Lockhart, Harry probably wouldn’t mind if you took a few of his less than pleasurable memories.

Tom Riddle also has that innate need to be polite even though he’s about to stab someone just like Harry does. Or is this a British thing?

I love how the villains in these movies say, “Potter.”

That does not look like the hole that they came down? It looks like Fawkes took them up another exit.

Why is Dumbledore trusting Hagrid’s release papers from the wizarding world’s worst prisons to a twelve year old? To a twelve year old Ron Weasley at that.

It looks like Dumbledore has a crystal ball by his desk. Trying his hand at divination? Or is that how he keeps track of all the students? I need to know what headmaster powers enable him to do all of these things.

Jason Isaacs is super fine. I can even deal with the wig. In fact, the wig makes it better.

It looks like Dumbledore’s office is located outside of the courtyard which makes the scene in Order of the Phoenix when Fred and George are comforting that boy all the more poignant.

[caffeinewitchcraft]

I'm sorry, you used to write fanfiction on a WHAT How?

@luckystardate and another anon also asked this SO here’s the why and how I came to write like four harry potter fanfictions on a TI-82 

I don’t know if y’all remember, but TI-82 calculators were a Big Deal. They were required and cost like 80 dollars at Staples (keep in mind that I came from a family with five kids all the same age so that’s a lot of money). We had to buy them to learn to graph even though I definitely still did most of that by hand because I never read the instruction manual or let anyone teach me what buttons to push.

We bought them for Algebra and in 8th grade that class was taught by Mrs. R. She was so awful to students that the school actually banned anyone else from transferring out of her class within like two weeks of the first semester. I think she was fired like a year later for verbally abusing students.

Now, I was pretty “gifted” back then. That meant that I was used to doing whatever I wanted when I finished my work because teachers generally didn’t have a backup plan for me and the three other kids who finished that early.

Not Mrs. R though. Never Mrs. R.

By the end of the year, it was kind of a joke how many things she confiscated from me. I think my count was, like, 6 notebooks, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Askaban, Maximum Ride, Gulliver’s Travels, and a stack of notebook paper that I made to look like math homework but actually had a bunch of pretty lemony fictions written in code on the back.

And that’s just the stuff I let her keep. The first few notebooks, I followed her instructions and showed up after school where she yelled at me for about fifteen minutes before giving it back. After those though, I felt like it was worth it to just...leave my things with her than ever be in a room alone with her again.

I stopped doing homework. I didn’t pay attention in class. My grade dropped from an A to a B to a D. Did I change my ways? Pay attention? Maybe do a single equation assigned to me?

No. I did not. That might have been smart but it wasn’t justice.

My every waking moment in that class became consumed by the burning need to do the exact opposite of what Mrs. R wanted. When she wrote on the projector, I’d close my eyes. I’d draw tally marks of how many minutes there were left in the period. I’d use my Super Secret Code to write sentence fragments in the corners of tests.

(Soon she just started writing SEE ME!! on every piece of work I handed in. I literally don’t know how my parents didn’t see what was happening until I basically failed 8th grade math.)

I just wanted to write. I wanted to write so bad. Soon I couldn’t even have a notebook on my desk without her being suspicious. All I could have was the homework/test, a pencil, and a calculator. She would call me out if I had anything more and make me put it away.

Which is when I found the Notes feature on the TI-82. And it was glorious.

I could write whole fics on that thing because its storage capacity was stupid large (or so it seemed). I never figured out how to save so, if she ever came over, I ran the risk of having to delete it all if I couldn’t get it in its case fast enough. If I managed to keep the fic I wrote, I typed it all on the family computer at home and cleared the calculator so it was ready for the next day.

The funniest thing to me, besides how stubborn I was, was that no one asked me about my F. Literally no one. They promoted me to  Geometry in high school and then AP Calculus the year after that.

The requirements for those classes was a B or higher in Algebra which I didn’t get!!! I didn’t pass it!!! I didn’t even try!!!!

So, anyway, school systems are fallible and it’s very important to understand kids are less likely to respond to a bully than a coherent conversation about Why We Have Designated Periods to Learn.

[busanbaddie]

💜 Get to Know Me Tag 💜

thanks for the tag, @bluemoonnamjoon!!💜💜

Name: Christina

Nicknames: Nina (fam only)

Gender: female

Zodiac: Aries (April 7th)

Height: 5′4″

Time: 10:44pm

Favorite Musicians: BTS, way too many kpop groups and solo artists to mention ((ask me about your faves sometime!!)), Troye Sivan, Mike Shinoda

Song Stuck in My Head: currently none

Last Thing I Googled: (G)i-dle members

Last Movie I Saw: Leave No Trace

Last Song I Listened to: CHILLAX by Twice

Other Blogs: this is my only one

Do I get Asks: sometimes, but i would love many more!! pls!

Why did I Choose My Username: listennnn y’all already know im a huge kookmin stan and i always love calling them the bdsm busan baddies but i took out the first part as to not scare anyone off asdfs

Following: 328 blogs and more everyday!! I have 50 followers now (thank y’all sm, also i love my MOOTS!!!!!!!!)

Amount of Sleep I got: my sleep schedule is awful bc of anxiety, but average maybe 8 hours on meds now!!!!

Lucky Number: 22

What I’m Wearing: jammies!!

Dream Job: clinical social worker

Dream Trips: Australia, South Korea, Japan, India, China, Philippines, Bora Bora, South Africa

Favorite Foods: Sushi and chips

Instruments: I used to play the flute  

Favorite Songs: THIS IS WAY TOO HARD, IM SORRY PLS ASK ME FOR RECS THO IM GOOD AT THAT!!!!!

Relationship Status: single

Favorite Colors: light blue, royal purple, and a deep green

Three Books: (not sure if it’s like favorites or currently reading so I’ll do favorites)

The Mortal Instruments Series

The Infernal Devices Series

Maximum Ride Series

Three TV Shows:

The Office

Parks and Rec

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Book I’m Reading Now: Wild by Cheryl Strayed

How Many Blankets do You Sleep in: one throw blanket during the winter, a down comforter, and no sheets ever

Anything I Want: happiness and fulfillment

I Tag: @xktheartx, @jeonshookith, @debs-p, @nonchalanity, @emerson-moonchild, @okayycalum, @mar-rose-314, @wyntermage, & @libra-midheaven

[satiiated]

name — Ari

gender — it doesn’t matter.

star sign — leo

height — 5′8″

age — 24

wallpaper on my phone —  ain’t got one yet. newer phone, no idea what i wanna put as it’s background.

house — hufflepuff

ever crush on a teacher — nah

coolest halloween costume — Never really dressed up for halloween.

favourite 90s tv show — ZOIDS

last kiss — sometime in high school maybe? 

have you ever been stood up — by friends, yes. only ever dated one girl in high school and we didn’t have cars, so it was kinda understandable when we couldn’t get together.

favourite pair of shoes — anything that’s comfy, i don’t really have a favorite.

have you ever been to vegas — nope 

favourite fruit — kiwi, cotton-candy grapes, watermelon

favourite book — probably Maximum Ride? since it’s the last thing I read like.. 7 years ago or something like that.

all time favourite shows —  bleach, fullmetal alchemist brotherhood, avatar the last airbender, and legend of korra, .. y’all remember code lyoko? yeah. - Teen Titans, 

last movie you saw in theaters — Rise of Skywalker.

Tagged by:  @latachete Tagging:  whoever tf wants it.

[wienerlicious]

so @oswinstark tagged me in a thing:

Rules: answer 20 questions and tag 20 wonderful followers you want to know better

Name - Nat

Nickname - Nat.  haha i guess #1 wasn’t really my full first name but i don’t really like people calling me by my full name on the internet.  have some cute nicknames Taylor used to call me: Bear, Little Bear, My Bear, My Lion, Nuh-tally Bear, Nuh-tally...

Zodiac sign - Virgo

Height - 5′9″

Orientation - queer.  not straight.  haha i kind of don’t like publicly slapping a label on myself.  i lean incredibly heavily toward girls i guess i’ll say.  nothing official or technical sounding publicly tho :)

Ethnicity - German

Favourite fruit - growing up it was strawberries.  now it’s probably blueberries.  or plums.  probably plums.  blackberries are rad too tho.

Favourite season - ask me a year ago and i would’ve said summer, but i was dealing with a skin condition all this summer and the sweat really bothered my skin and killed the season for me.  also my air conditioner is broken.  probably fall.

Favourite book series - shit dude i haven’t read books in fucking forever.  i’m gonna fuckin date how old i was when i last read actively and say Maximum Ride, Generation Dead, and Pretty Little Liars were all my shit.  if comics count the latest run of Black Widow was pretty bomb and so was Fraction’s Hawkeye.  oh!  and i really really really got heavy into 1872!  but i kind of stopped reading comics too and i just absorb whatever fuckery is going on now through social media and summaries and shit

Favourite flower - um idk.  back when i was dancing people would buy me flowers and so i was really learning about different types of flowers i got really partial to Spider Mums.  that was a long time ago tho so idk.

Favourite scent - god i’m such a fucking piece of shit because i literally have to answer Taylor to this.  fuck.  especially those little shaved hair side of head spots - like 1 part hair goop, 2 parts Taylor.  best smell.

Favourite colour - pink

Coffee, tea or cocoa - cocoa probably.  there’s this coffee kiosk in fashion valley mall called Better Buzz.  apparently it’s like a Thing in San Diego and they have a bunch of locations and i get why they’re a Thing because i crave their cocoa all the time.  even when i get coffee it’s usually a mocha lol.

Average sleep time - lately i’ve been lucky to get like 2hrs lol.  when i’m working and have a social life and not currently going through a life crisis, i sleep literally as long as i can to be ready for work the next morning.  when i have no obligations and no life crisis, i can sleep for like 16hrs tbh.

Cat or dog person? - cats 10000%.  i love other people’s dogs but i’m allergic and they’re so much work and since they play outside so much they get so dirty and like.  i don’t think i could ever have one.

Favourite fictional character - tie between Tony Stark and Natasha Romanoff and probably Sarah Walker too but it’s been too long since i’ve rewatched Chuck so she’s fading from my mind too much it’s bad :S

Dream trip - fuck idk.  i’m just thinking of places i wanted to go with Taylor ugh.  it’s not so much the “where” for me as the “doing what” and “with who.”  as far as locations go i love all of our national parks that i visited as a kid and would love to go back, and also visit ones i haven’t been to before.  i really want to leave the country tho, go to Australia while The Veronicas are touring or something.  or see Germany, where my family’s from.  or like wait for a Pokemon Go event and get a region exclusive and attend an event in like England or Japan or Australia or something.

Number of followers - holy shit i’m down to 2,147 lmao y’all have been unfollowing like mad.  sorry dudes.

Thing you are most proud of - fuck this one’s hitting me hard.  i’m honestly not really proud of anything.  like every cool thing i’ve accomplished has been a result of right place + right time + surface deep charisma.  uh.  idk.  i’m proud of some of my costumes i’ve made, but in the moment all i can really see are the flaws.  maybe i’m proud of other people’s perceptions of me????  other people are always pretty impressed by my costume work, and that surface deep charisma really comes in handy before people like really get to know me.

If you’d go on a quest, what would it be? fuckin winning Taylor back or something.  haha fuck that’s pathetic.  legit tho like maybe building a way to go back in time or something - just upload my knowledge and consciousness to like my like.  idk, November 2016 self?  December 2016 self?  i had a job i knew was kind of shitty but was still taking full advantage of, a full friend group that was already starting to fall apart but still kinda there, my relationship was just starting to really kick off... idk like i’d go back and really have my shit together.  like i’d super USE that job to network with Marvel higher ups, and the people who worked on the lighting & items in our exhibit, try to get a job with a third party company that worked with the exhibit.  i’d fucking tone down my personality and be the fucking glue for all my friends that were drifting apart and starting drama.  i’d learn how to drive so i could actually organise and host shit for people instead of just hoping someone else would throw something.  i’d be more confident and brave and just like.  stop assuming people don’t want to hang out with me and fucking put myself out there.  i’d squash down every insecurity i had in the very beginning of my relationship and really throw myself into it.  i’d go off the birth control that was making me depressed and find a new solution.  i’d fucking force us to communicate better and i’d openly talk about how i wanted to live out there instead of just gently putting the idea out there that i did want to live out there but only when Taylor would bring it up.  i’d know who to trust and who not to trust, who would still be there for me when my life has gone to shit and who would sell me out for a half baked attempt at a promotion that they’d throw away a month later. fuck that really got away from me i over explained but yeah.  quest to time travel.  haha.

um i really hate tagging people in shit because i don’t know who i’d be a bother to vs. who wants to interact with me more so idk.

if any of you want to answer these, please do!  and then tag and @ me in your post so that i can read them, because i would really like to read them! :)

[winchesterandpie]

Son of a Patriotic Biscuit (Part 1)

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader (Not a ton yet - there will be more, I promise!)

Word Count: 1760

Warnings: None

A/N: Alright y’all, my friend and I finally had time to go through and edit the story enough for me to put this piece up. Credits to her for putting up with my writing as well as my bemoaning of my inability to write this as quickly as I wanted (I’d tag her, but she doesn’t have a tumblr). Anyways, it’s my first series guys!! Hopefully you like it! If anyone wants to be tagged in the next parts or other fics as they come, just let me know - I swear I don’t bite. Reader is an Avenger who has wings - if you’ve read Maximum Ride, that’s where I got it from (and I claim no credit for the idea). Gif is not mine.

Your name: submit What is this? // <![CDATA[ document.getElementById("submit").addEventListener('click', myHandler); function myHandler() { var v = document.body.innerHTML; var input = document.getElementById("inputTxt").value; v = v.replace(/\by\/n\b|\(y\/n\)/ig, input); document.body.innerHTML = v; } // ]]>

Every. Single. Time. Why?! He just couldn’t seem to stop. Yet again, he had denied me going on a mission. He had said that I wasn’t ready to be out in the field like he didn’t even realize that I had already gone out a few times with Nat and Clint! I tried to explain this as calmly as possible, but he hadn’t heard a word of it. Naturally, I stormed down to the training room to take out my anger where it was more acceptable, rather than on a fellow Avenger. In the others’ defense, they had tried to talk Steve down, but he was completely in charge of the mission and who went on it.

“Fricken fracken, mother truckin’, son of a biscuit eater, chivalrous little overprotective man-baby!” Each word was punctuated with either a jab or kick to the punching bag in front of me. With the final words, I threw myself into a spinning kick that sent the already splitting bag flying across the room, sand trailing in its wake. After half an hour, my frustration had finally come to a head.

“What’d the bag ever do to you?” I tore my eyes away from the carnage with a huff and saw Nat in the doorway

“It’s not the bag I’m mad at,” I muttered, but I knew she heard me. She gave a miniscule nod of acknowledgement, both of my statement and my obvious desire to change topics.

“That’s quite the insult I heard. Where’d you come up with it, Feathers?” The ex-assassin moved to stand in front of me, putting my back to the door.

“Honestly? I dunno. The best ones are those that just come out in the moment, y’know?” Shrugging, I sheepishly turned back to the wreckage. “I’m gonna have to clean that up, aren’t I?”

“Nah. Not right this minute, at least.” She closed her mouth abruptly after the sentence, staring at something over my shoulder. I turned, freezing in my tracks when I saw who stood in the doorway. “I’m just going to give the two of you a minute.”

Thanks for that, I thought, glaring a little at her retreating form. Switching my focus to the hulking captain (pun intended), I allowed my face to settle into stiff lines. We stood there for a long moment, sizing each other up as though any second we were going to lunge at each other. Quirking my eyebrow up and crossing my arms, I resolved not to be the first of us to speak. As it turned out, I didn’t have long to wait before he uncomfortably broke the silence.

“This is for your own good,” he finally said. I threw my hands up indignantly before turning and looking for something to hit, though I desperately wanted to sock him in the jaw right then. Unfortunately, that wouldn’t help me get out in the field. “No, don’t you start giving me that look.” His blue eyes hardened, and I could tell he had no intention of being swayed on this when his forehead creased. “You may not realize that you aren’t ready, but I’m just keeping you from being killed out there. There aren’t any practice fights, no one out there is going to go easy on you.”

“You seem to have somehow gotten it into your head that I don’t realize that!” I burst out, utterly exasperated with him. “Steve, I’ve already gone on missions with Clint and Natasha, and I’ve even gone out with just Thor! I’m not the damsel in distress that you seem to think I am!”

“You’re not going and that’s final.” “Fricken fracken, mother truckin’, son of a biscuit eating... Little patriotic old fart with a hero complex!”

“Lang--” He stopped in his tracks, confusion marring his features. “Wait, what? Did you actually say what I think you said?”

“Ooh, stepping into dangerous territory there, Captain. Thinking on your own? Don’t you need supervision for that?” I shoved past him, holding myself stiffly upright until I reached the elevator that took me to the floor with my room on it.

Finally in the safety of solitude, I made sure the door was locked before sliding down the wall until I was sitting, knees pulled up to my chest. I was upset enough that I unfurled my wings and wrapped them around myself, providing an extra shield between me and the outside world as a choked sob rose in my throat. Funny, how the feathers that used to be (and still sometimes were) a reminder of a nightmarish warehouse - full of needles, electric shocks, white lab coats, and pain above all else - while they were now the very things protecting me from more pain.

I stayed there for a long time, wallowing in the feelings of self-doubt that had sprung up once I was left alone in my thoughts. You see, despite being a kickbutt, flying, ninja-assassin-Avenger, I actually cared a lot what Steve thought of me. Having a crush on the star-spangled captain will do that to a person. As an unfortunate side effect, his apparent lack of confidence in my abilities in the field was doing wonders for knocking my self-esteem into the dust. To top it all off, I was almost positive that he only saw me as a younger sister, due to the overprotective big brother act.

Steve’s POV

After she pushed past me with a final jab about my thinking, I pushed a hand through my hair in frustration. Why couldn’t she see that I was so afraid of losing someone close to me again, that my fear was the reason I tried to protect her. Bucky was gone, and Peggy had grown up and left me behind. I couldn’t stand it if this brave, stubborn, kind woman died after somehow managing to worm her way into my heart no matter how desperately I had tried to keep her out. If she got hurt or killed when I could have kept her safe, I wasn’t sure if I could forgive myself.

I didn’t even realize that my feet were moving, tracing her light-footed path, until I was standing in front of her door. My hand was poised to knock, though it stopped when a small sound caught my attention. I wasn’t even completely sure I had heard anything until it came again. The muffled sob barely came through the door, sounding more like an agonized gasp of air that tore my heart out to know I was its cause.

To my knowledge, she hadn’t cried the whole time she lived at the Tower with us. What she had been like before Nick Fury brought her to us, I could only imagine. Strength and an iron will like hers were rarely forged through any but the most painful of fires. Still, she never said anything about her past, whether how she had gotten her wings or otherwise.

It had taken a lot of time, and a fair amount of prodding from the team, before I realized that I was in love with this spunky woman. Once I knew, however, no other beautiful woman in the room could turn my head from Y/N’s radiance. The only problem was that I still was no good with women and I knew it. I didn’t want my inability to put words to the feelings (thanks to my lack of experience) to drive her away, so I tried to protect her instead. Sinking down by her door with a disheartened sigh, I realized that to her it must seem like I didn’t believe in her abilities.

“You’ll have to tell her, Steve.” Natasha’s voice was quiet in my ear. Turning my head toward her, I saw her gaze soften even more as she opened her mouth to continue. “She thinks you have no confidence in her.” “I do, I swear,” I protested vehemently under my breath, knowing the spy would hear me where the woman on the other side of the door would not. “I just… I don’t want to see her get hurt.”

“You’re going to have to get over that. This world leaves scars on people like us. Even her. Especially her. You can’t keep her from being hurt, but you could be there to help her heal.” This was the longest string of heartfelt advice I had heard from her, and I took it to heart.

“I’ll tell her after this mission, then.” I nodded, satisfied in my resolve.

“You’d better. Now come on. We’ve got a briefing to get through.”

Reader’s POV

It wasn’t until several hours later that I was bold enough to leave my room. Mostly because it was two in the morning and everyone going on the mission (read as: everyone but me - Thor was up in Asgard until after the team got back) would be asleep. Also because I was hungry, but y’know. Of course, I still stuck to the shadows and treaded silently through the halls and rooms. Entering the main room was when inspiration hit - likely a mix of exhaustion, desperation, and hunger, but it was too good a chance to pass up.

Steve had apparently been the last person awake, and had made the mistake of leaving the mission’s file on the table in plain sight. Performing a quick scan of the room, I crept up to the table, holding my wings up and out a little to ensure that they didn’t drag on the floor and make noise. A wolfish grin spread over my face as I read the details of the two week long mission. It was in an area I knew well - the place where I’d grown up as an experiment, constantly pushed to my limits and tormented for the scientists who wanted to see what a girl with wings could do. Coincidentally, it was that same group that the team was now going after.

Now knowing that I could get to the spot easily, the only thing left was to figure out when the whole thing was going to go down. The file really only had the details of the surveillance they would have to undertake to find the base. Fortunately for me, I was quite the hacker, so I made sure that the comms that were sitting out were synced to my laptop so that I would be able to hear everything that was going on out there. Satisfied with my little recon mission, I went my way into the kitchen and made a quick sandwich before returning to my room.

Part Two HERE

Series Masterlist

[signalacquired]

It’s been a bit

Aloha Y’all and Konnichiwa!

Just in case no one realized, most of the posts from the last few months on signalacquired have been made by the better half of this blog, my wife Serena.  She has been the most supportive and amazing partner for me to have through the very challenging last few months.  

This is Alex; it’s been awhile friends, family, new friends? :)

I am always pushing forward with a lot of things, in the most positive direction I can muster.  This includes my career.  So for the past year or so I have been studying for the CISSP, the Certified Information Systems Security Professional certification.  I read two 1000+ page books, swam through some 1500+ practice exam questions, utilized multiple study apps on Android and iOS, and watched and listened to dozens of hours worth of cyber security videos and mp3 files while i worked out at the gym.  

I was on track to take the $700 exam in the month of December when I was bombarded with messages from my family at work one day.  

My Grandma had passed away.

With encouragement from nearly all my family, I stayed the course with my studies, because it is what she would have wanted.  I do not think any parent or grandparent ever wants to get in the way of a child or grandchild striving to better themselves through education.  She was to be cremated per her wishes and the family was to hold a celebration of life for her at a later date.

So i hunkered down, if my little sister could still thrive in nursing school and remain focused even with grandmas passing, then there was no reason I couldn’t kick this test in the teeth.  My wife rallied to my side, sacrificing many weekends and weeknights to be there for me preparing food and taking care of the daily chores and food shopping while i toiled away, nose deep in books and practice exams.

Being stationed on a military base, there was a testing center located a few minutes walk from our on-base housing.  Only problem was, that the proctor here on site was new, and wouldn’t be trained up to speed until mid-January.  I made the decision to take the test back home in Hawaii before I joined up with the rest of my family for grandma.  My brother, being an airline employee, was able to secure Serena and I round trip tickets from Osaka to Honolulu on standby for a great price.  Serena and I sorted out the train timetable from Iwakuni to Hiroshima and then an overnight bus from Hiroshima to Osaka.  

We hung out at the hotel at Kansai International Airport for 12 hours or so.  I got a lot of studying done!  

Yup.

Serena & I winding down from studying at the airport all day.

My parents very generously got a hotel room at Hilton Hawaiian Village for us to stay at upon arrival in Hawaii so that i could focus on my upcoming test.  

The view from our room; ridiculous I know :)

Lunch!

Last Supper before the big exam!  Yup, leftover lunch + cheap wine!

Test day.  Without breaking any NDA, I can safely say that this was one of the hardest exams I have ever taken.  Nearly every question had more than one “correct” answer, and I had to select the “best” answer.  Even after all the reading, studying, and preparing, not one question came easily to me.  The test had a time limit of three hours and you could receive a minimum of 100 questions and a maximum of 150.  This was because the test had recently become adaptive; no going back to check previously answered questions, and each new question would be easier or harder depending on how the previous questions were answered.  So while taking the test you were either doing well enough to pass or poor enough to fail, the test would cut you off at 100 questions.  If you were riding the border of pass or fail, it would continue to feed you questions until the test engine determined that you were a pass or a fail.  Guess how many questions I answered. One. Hundred. Fifty.

With every question I answered after #100 I wondered if this question would be my last.  And with every click, another question would bare its fangs.  I somehow made it through the exam averaging about 60 to 90 seconds per question and received my results printout from the front desk of the Honolulu testing center.  It said Congratulations!

I was floored.  I had to sit down and read and re-read the print out.  I really needed a win, and this was more than I could fathom.  I thanked the staff at the testing center and walked back to the Hilton.  I could now relax a bit and focus on family.

Everyone was thrilled that I had passed.  Hell I am still thrilled, still can’t believe it!  

Serena and I went shopping with Grandpa at the commissary.

Grandpa and I looking over some paperwork and some information about Grandma’s family in Japan.

Grandma’s celebration of life that Sunday was amazing.  Big thanks to everyone who helped to make it as amazing as it was!  Grandma lived an amazing life and the love that her and my Grandfather shared truly was something that you might read about in a book or see in a movie.  They were truly blessed to have found each other and to have been able to share so many wonderful years together!

Our Grandma “Mo” Love and miss you lots!

With loss I have found that every moment becomes a more precious thing.  Every shared meal or conversation has become more precious to me since saying goodbye to now two grandparents.  I still have my Grandpa on my Father’s side and my Grandma from my Mother’s side.   I love them both very much and cherish every moment I am able to share with each of them.  

I will be back soon to see you both and eat all your food, I promise :)