#y'all don't know how much i've been screaming about it to myself

[strangefable]

Look at this gorgeous portrait of Micah that @socially-awkward-skeleton gave me. 🥺😍🥺😍🥺😍 Look at my deputy, look how perfectly Skelly captured her. I am in awe, I love it so so so much <3 <3 <3 Thank you so much, Skelly, it's amazing!

[daincrediblegg]

no you know what I'm going to scream about the stuff I talked about in the tags of this post publicly

I'm tired of the well-meaning "don't feel bad if your work only gets 20 notes your genius is what counts and do it for you!" bullshit. I've had a good handful of friends who have straight up DEACTIVATED in recent months because their work was not getting reblogged AT ALL. No, it wasn't from lack of not being well-liked, no it wasn't from lack of trying to make sure it was getting out there to the people they knew would engage with it. It was because no matter how much they were praised privately for their work, when push came to shove, absolutely NOBODY reblogged it and gave it the audience that it was due, and I'm tired of people shoving the "unsung genius" narrative as an excuse for it. Nothing excuses that. And the boop event really proved that.

because I know given the opportunity, indiscriminately pressing a button (sometimes 10 thousand times, as I did) is not beyond this website's capability. y'all loved doing that. and look at what it wrought. nothing but love and affection and happiness. just from a couple of quick clicks of a little paw button. sure. nobody knew who you booped but the other person (which is how likes used to work on this website, btw). there was an element of anonymity to it. but that is kind of the core of this website that no other social media platform still has: the ability to be anonymous. and hyper-curating a blog on here like you might on twitter or instagram to project an image is simply not viable. and hey. you wanna know a secret: literally nobody cares what you post or whether it goes with the "theme" of your blog or not. yeah. I know. CRAZY concept in this day and age. but literally. I myself have reblogged things that have had nothing to do with whatever I am currently fixated by and you know what happened to my follower count? not a damn thing. in fact, I actively try to reblog things specifically BECAUSE it's my friends who made them (even though I'm not always good at KEEPING UP WITH HOW MUCH THEY POST @prismatica-the-strange will NEVER GO UNRECOGNIZED by me).

And you know what fucking sucks? I have to deal with this too. surprise right? you ever wonder why I reblog fics or art I post like 20 times the day that I post them? do you ever wonder why I ask about tag lists and beg for asks all the time? IT'S BECAUSE EVEN I GET LIKE. 5 LIKES ON THE THINGS I POST. AND THE REST OF THE REBLOGS ARE MINE SO I CAN MAKE SURE THAT PEOPLE WHO WANT TO SEE WHAT I MAKE GET TO SEE IT. and I say that knowing that I'm certainly not an unpopular blog, or an unpopular writer. I know that people love the stories that I create. Hell, half of the people that I've talked to about lady terror have told me that they consider her to be canon (AND EVEN SOME!! THOUGHT SHE WAS!!! WITHOUT EVEN HAVING WATCHED THE SHOW! WHICH IS STILL SO SO WILD TO ME!!!) But especially in the last 4 years (which really dates this phenomenon), my posts, no matter how well received they've been amongst people I've talked to about them directly, I still go into the notes and at least half (often more than half) are MY reblogs to make sure people saw what I posted. and it happens every single time, and I can't tell you how much it crushes me considering that it used to be that I would be able to post it only once, and people would reblog it sometimes even HUNDREDS of times.

It's not about popularity. it never has been. it's not about anxiety. or shifting website cultures. even if you lurk, the simple fact is, that if you want people to keep making what you love. you have to reblog. your theme won't suffer because you reblogged a fanfiction that you really admire. your posting won't be ruined because you reblogged some fanart from someone in a different fandom. really. I promise. and if people do unfollow you for that? who needs em. followers come and go but you should NEVER have to cater to them. on this website it has ALWAYS been the other way around. lean into it. make it yours. put stuff you ACTUALLY WANT to be seen and that you love and appreciate on your blog. no matter how old it is, how new it is, no matter how niche or off-theme it is.

so please. if you really want to show your appreciation for someone's work? you reblog. it's really as easy as that. check the tags. add some when you reblog if you like. but please for the love of god reblog. it's as easy as booping and even more rewarding for the people who you reblog from. if you want to let someone know that their work is genius and appreciate it? show it. reblog. then DM them if you're too nervous to say what you want to say but not in a public forum. but for christ's sake. REBLOG.

[11cupids-tarot11]

A letter from your future self.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

1 -> 3

DM me for private readings

$5.55 per question!

C@sh app and PayPal payments only!

Tips appreciated

Cash tag- $minnieplant3

Love y'all!

- Cupid 𖥔 ࣪ ᥫ᭡ꗃ⋆࣪.

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

Pile 1- The star, Two of wands, The devil.

"I think it's time you and I have a talk, I know you know who I'm talking to, yeah I'm talking to myself, but it's not just you and me here, what about little us? Past us? The most important form of ourselves? You haven't been listening to all of us, why? Why do you ignore the child in you who screams to be listened to, to be understood, who just wants to heal like the rest of you. I promise you it's not silly at all to be in tuned with your inner child, I promise you no one's going to hurt you or make you want to hide away again, they can't control your emotions. They only want you to feel so powerless against them, like you're helplessly chained to them, but you have the power to break the chain and run free again, wild. You deserve to follow your dreams, do whatever you want, whatever it is that's been bugging you like a fly in your ear, a project that's always on the back of your mind, the one that just wouldn't go away since you were a child, you can do it, I know you can because I'm already here as proof, but I can't spoil too much. Be creative, shine brightly and never let anyone dim that light. I love you with all my might! ;)

- Me"

Don't forget the poll below!

⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

Pile 2- The devil in reverse, Three of wands, Justice.

"Hi buttercup! I hope all is well these days, I've been thinking about you so much these days, well let me explain, I've been thinking about how hard we've worked, how far we've come and what we had to do to be here. I know, it's a lot. I'll often look back a lot and think about how unfair things were, how many people were never on your side, how many battles you've had to win on your own and how many you've had to lose. I'll never forget the day we decided we had had enough of our problems, our addictions, the toxicity and just did something about it, we cut that toxic person off, quit that stupid job or finally changed that damn schedule of yours and did something better for your health. Whatever it was we did it <3 and it paid off so much, I'm so happy we did because it led us to better days, so much abundance, everything we've always deserved. We got the justice we've always been searching for in such a cruel world and I'm so proud of us for doing that baby girl! We never gave up, no matter how much we wanted to, how much we wanted to go back to that same place because it was comfortable and we just got so blind sided we never knew we could do so much more if we just put our mind to it! Go us! Go me! Go you!

Love- The version of yourself you were always meant to be 🩷"

Don't forget the poll below! Love you!

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖.

Pile 3- Six of coins, Ace of wands in reverse, Two of coins in reverse.

"Psst! Remember that project you weren't so sure about? You know the one, well I have a message for you! If you get started with it now I bet you a million bucks you could never guess where you'll be ten years from now. You remember that big house you've always wanted? All of the wealth you've always wanted to share and give back to others? We finally can! We did it! It was always important to give back to the ones we love, to be able to support and live comfortably and we finally did it. Just try not to get too big headed, okay? Remember who you are, where you come from and why you started this in the first place. Don't forget about your loved ones, the ones who supported you through thick and thin. I know your schedule might be busier, just don't forget to find that balance. We're at a very important time in our lives right now, I understand this, but remember to take a break from that damn schedule of yours. Take time for us, okay? I want you to call off as soon as you see a single sign of distress and go to the spa, I promise you're going to need it! ;) "

-Big boss lady (this pile was channeling feminine energy, someone who's in charge of their own business and gives orders to others. Very important business woman vibes here.)

Don't forget to do the poll at the bottom! Love you!

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

[xx-j4nu5-c4t5-xx]

look what finally remembered it has a tumblr account 💀 hi everybody

I drew a couple premades with colors based on albums that remind me of them, thought y'all would enjoy

nervous - who really cares (tv girl)

ripp - sports (modern baseball)

I ramble about them under here

janus shut up about tv girl challenge 💀 this isn't even really my favorite band lmfao I just feel like it suits nervous and pascal so well. there's this overwhelming vibe of longing in that whole album, like you had something wonderful and now it's gone and you're scared that that was the peak of your life, and it's all downhill from here. now it's just the memories and the bitterness and the things you left in each other's apartments. OUUGGH IM RGRGH AUGH

drawing-wise I like how nervous's drawing turned out. I have a tendency to absolutely destroy my colors and make them all muddy and blended so being limited to like five colors total and having to use the screen tones and dithering effects and stuff made it feel really... sharp, I guess? I don't like how it interfered with some of the details (like the face) but it was definitely a good way to tie everything together. main gripes with this one are the bandage on his leg (I know the blue is like symbolic or something but why is it so much darker than his skin it looks stupid) and the brick in the background because WHAT HAPPENED 😭 I finished this drawing at like 3am and I really thought I knocked it out of the park with that

ripp's is definitely worse though. the cover for who really cares is incredibly simple, but the one for sports is a whole picture, and I feel like I didn't lean hard enough into the yellows that dominate most of it. the piece looks nice, don't get me wrong; the colors are way richer than I usually would've chosen and it looks awesome, but... it doesn't look anything like the reference. which was kind of the idea. with nervous's, even though it's not incredibly similar to the album cover, you can see where I'm going with it. I don't think anyone would know that ripp's was based on the album cover unless you told them. I set myself up for failure the second I used more red/orange tones than the yellows and creams. whoopsie daisy I guess

I can't really pick out a single song that reminds me of ripp from this album, but I feel like the whole thing gives off "I need to get out of my hometown asap" vibes, as well as the weird awkwardness that comes with figuring out what to do next, which I feel absolutely screams ripp. go struggling small town boy! struggle to navigate early adulthood!

anyway idk I kinda hate both of them just because I've been staring at them for probably six hours combined and I'm about to explode

I might do more of these with other characters but there's not a lot of other premades that I associate with entire albums rather than random songs so idk we'll see

as a parting gift here's a shitty doodles of pascal and nervous as the dogs from twin fantasy by car seat headrest

(the words in the background are random lyrics from the album)

[pablitogavii]

Para la Victoria!

Spain won!! Vamos Campeoness!!

I know I've been inactive for awhile but I've been working on a series for y'all which still work in progress. Requests are open but I already have so many so don't expect me to able to answer quickly :( I chose them based on inspiration!

"Vitoriaaaa!!!" everyone around you was screaming, cheering, filming the celebrations all around the stadium while your eyes were glued on your boyfriend hugging his teammates in happiness.

Gavi gave his all to properly prepare for the final end of his season with the national team which included many sacrifices like not being able to be with you as much as he wanted.

He kept re-assuring you that he loves you and that he will give you everything this summer during which you will be his sole focus. He was also not allowed to be intimate the whole week since he started practicing and it was driving him absolutely crazy.

A few days ago..

"Amor, you can't stay the night.." he said while we were on his bed making out with me on too of him and his hands gripping my ass tightly.

"But why???" you whined leaning down and kissing his neck to his chest while he threw his head back holding onto your hair tightly. You were driving him insane!

"Because I can't control myself, amor...I want to fuck you so bad right now...and I can't" he moaned and you smirked nodding your head and kissing his plum lips again.

He promised you that night that the moment this game ends he will fuck you until you couldn't walk for weeks...you were excited to see weather he keeps his promise.

They let you pass to the hallway and Pablo ran off the pitch to meet you and the moment you saw each other you ran and jumped into his arms wrapping your legs round his waist while he held you close kissing your lips passionately not caring about the cameras.

"Here is Gavi..and his girlfriend..certainly excited to celebrate his victory together! They are considered one of the most beautiful couples in Spain currently... Gavi certainly deserves to enjoy ;)" commentator said while they filmed out moment but Pablo quickly put you down taking your hand and leading you to a more secluded area.

"I can't wait to get home amor..I want to be inside of you so bad preciosa!" he whispered into your ear before licking it and you blushed nodding your head while bitting your bottom lip letting him go change so you can leave quickly. You were glad he didn't forget his promise..;)

When you arrived home, he locked the door quickly turning around and grabbing your body before pinning you against the wall while kissing your lips feverishly.

"You know how much I love to see you in my jersey preciosa..but right now, I want all of the clothes off your beautiful body!" he groaned while devouring your neck leaving many marks on your gentle skin while you moaned.

He unzipped your skirt letting it fall to your feet, helping you take off your shoes as you pulled onto his own shirt making him smirk and take it off tossing it onto the ground. Then he grabbed your body making you snake your legs around his waist while his lips were back onto yours while he walked to the bedroom.

He put you down on the ground taking off his jeans and sitting on the bed in only his boxers looking at how perfect you looked with his national jersey that looked like dress on you..que perfecta! ;)

"Come here princesa.." he said and you slowly moved in between his legs feeling his cold hands on your ass moving up while pulling his jersey off your body a little surprised when he saw that you were wearing no bra underneath. He quickly smirked looking from you perky breasts to your eyes making you blush bright red.

"What did I say about not wearing a bra, princesa? HUh?" he spoke darkly while your hands went to cover your breasts in embarrassment but he took them away kissing in the middle while looking up into your eyes.

"To..ahh..um..always wear it when I'm not with you..fuck!" you tried answering but his licks were very distracting as you felt pleasure consume your mind.

"But I guess I can forgive you...after all, it's easy access for me now?" he smirked and I nodded while he held my breasts touching, licking and sucking on them while I moaned before pulling me onto the bed and hovering above you.

"I missed you so much..I missed this so much..that stupid rule!" Pablo groaned before kissing down your neck to your stomach leaving marks wherever he could before finally arriving to your panties pulling them down and tossing them on the ground. Shortly afterwards his boxers were on the floor as well and he was back up kissing your lips passionately.

He reached to the side and grabbed a condom opening it with his teeth while you played with his sweaty hair taking in the perfection of his body on top of your finally.

"I know it's been kinda long..so I'll let you adjust again okay princesa?" he said and when you nodded with a shy smile he entered you in one swift motion making you throw your head back in pain mixed with intense burning pleasure.

"Joder!! You're so tight preciosa..I haven't stretched you up for weeks!" he growled into your neck while you wrapped around like in a tight hold. After a few moment of staying still and letting you adjust while distracting you with kisses, he started to move with gentle stroked that turned into rough ones the moment you started to beg him for more.

"My perfect girl! Joder! Just like that..let me in" he spoke into your lips before flipping over and sitting up with you on his lap giving him better access to move deeper and hit all the right spots that brought you close to your first orgasm.

"Please don't stop Pablo..please I need to cum..please amor" you were a moaning mess and he reassured you that he won't stop and that you can let go with his strong hold holding you in place.

"Let go for me, princesa..show me who you belong to!" and those words were enough to tip you off the edge as your muscles spasmed and you came hard pushing him over his own edge as you both held onto each other breathlessly.

"That was amazing.." you said when you laid down on top of him as he held you tightly touching your back gently while staring into your eyes like that was the first time he's seen them.

You smiled moving again on top of him and starting to kiss down his chest again while he laid back with his arms behind his head looking down at you in amusement.

"What is this for amor??" his voice was shaking and you looked up kissing him softly before moving back down caressing his strong abs.

"Para la victoria.." you smirked and so did he as you were determined to make up for all the lost time..;)

[thecapricunt1616]

The Bear & His Honey - Chapter 11

♡ Chapter Inspo: Song Lyrics; State Of Grace - Red(TV) TS "And I never saw you coming, and I'll never be the same"

♡♡》》𝟙𝟠+ 𝕆ℕ𝕃𝕐 𝔽𝕀ℂ! ℕ𝕆 𝕄𝕀ℕ𝕆ℝ𝕊 𝔸𝕃𝕃𝕆𝕎𝔼𝔻《《♡♡

♡ Summary: Carm goes to see Winnie after a long day at work, Winnie discovers that famous chefs like Carmy have fans & she introduces him to the world of fandom. They have a chat about BDSM and possibly exploring it more.

♡ W/C: 8,384

♡ Posted Date: 03/07/2024

♡ A/N: Helloooo all!! FIRST Just so y'all know for the story - Winnie is like 4'11 on a good day, Carmy/JAW is like 5'7/5'8 - so that's why Winnie seems so 'small' , they really have a normal height difference for a couple lol JAW is a short king. Anywho I saw a post abt. how there are actually fanfics for famous chefs and stuff and I looked it up- it is totally true!!! Loves it, So of course it inspired this chapter hehehe I feel like Carm would totally be an old man and not even KNOW what fanfic is but Winnie is a professional fangirl. Also - I am currently watching TS in Singapore & DBATCxBabe?!?!?!? IM SCREAMING!! Dead dead gone!! I predicted thissss heheheheh

♡ Warnings for BTC: Smutsmutsmut, BDSM talk, OH period sex (sowwy ik some people don't like that but u can skip and winniexcarm will be back next week with some fluffy goodness) getting lazy w these warnings but if you've made it this far in the fic nothing will trigger you i've already gotten most the triggering shit outta the way.

➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡

➵ 𝐂𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐮𝐩 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ♡

𝒲𝒾𝓃𝓃𝒾𝑒𝓈 𝒫.𝒪.𝒱. 🍯

When I heard a light knock at my door, I giddily jumped up from my comfy nest in bed I’d created for myself and dashed over, opening the door right away and Carmy dropped his hand away from the peephole, smirking. 

“And what if I was a killer this time, did you even look?” he stepped in the doorway, wrapping his arms around my waist and his hands sliding down to squeeze my bum gently.

I laughed a bit, wrapping my arms around his middle, crossing my fingers, and draping my arms around him lightly. “I guess I was so excited to see you I’d have been dead, kisses now” I puckered my lips up and closed my eyes expectantly. 

“Mmm…I’m expecting my test to be aced next time I come over yeah?” he pecks my lips sweetly and I open my eyes, furrowing my brows a bit before giggling.

“Test” I repeated, “You’re testing me?” I rested my forehead against his, gazing into the blue eyes I’d missed so much even though it’d only been 8 hours since I’d seen him last. 

“Y’can’t open up the door without checkin’, baby. This is a decent area- but Chicago is fuckin’ nuts” he nudged the door closed with his foot and tightened his grip on my waist slightly, the feeling of the calouses over his fingers causing goosebumps to rise over my flesh..

“Fine, but only cause I’m sooo obedient..for you” I pulled him into another kiss, wrapping my fingers in his frizzy curls and humming happily. I ran my tongue over his, enjoying the taste of tobacco and the minty gum he must have gotten rid of just before he got here. I feel his tense muscles relax slightly under my touch as I gently scratched my nails against his scalp. We made out for a few heavenly minutes, our noses bumping sweetly, him running his hands up my waist to my lower back, rubbing soft, soothing strokes back and forth.

He pulled away slightly, causing my eyes to flutter open and find his gaze. “Hm?” I questioned and he smiled a bit.

“I uh- I smell like work, I need to shower, honey” he kissed my forehead tenderly, his lips lingering for a sweet moment. 

I buried my face in his neck, inhaling deep and dramatically, letting out a satisfied hum which made him laugh, his chest shaking with movement.. “Mmmm…you smell soo good I love the way you smell Carmy, a little kitcheny, but still you,” I mumble into his shirt and he rubs up my back, his nails brushing over my ribs..

“You are fuckin’ weird babe,” he said, causing me to giggle and look up at him, resting my chin where it met his sternum and gazing up at him with a cheeky grin.

“Better get used to it, go and shower, pretty-boy- I can give you a massage after and everything if ya want. And I promise I’ll control myself this time” I said, pulling away with a step back. “Maybe” I added and he chuckled, grabbing his backpack from where he dropped it on the floor and heading to the bathroom.

“We both know you have shown little self-control around me while shirtless” he nudged it open, zipping open his backpack and dropping his usual grey sweatpants and boxers on the bathroom counter before tossing the bag on the floor. 

I gasp playfully at his accusation, “I’m Sorry- are you calling me thirsty?” I stood in the doorway, arms crossed with a playful grin.

He hummed and shrugged, turning on the shower and tugging his hoodie off, and undershirt as well. Of course, I watched- what male-attracted person wouldn’t watch him undress if given the chance? 

He brushes his hair back from the ruffling of the fabric, turning to pull the shower curtain open and I got the stellar show of watching his toned muscles flex beneath his skin as he does so. 

He reached down, unbuckling his belt, the metal buckle jingling as he pulled it off with one long tug, an action that had me readjusting my stance in the doorway to ease the now pulsing ache between my thighs. 

He unbuttoned his jeans, pulling the zipper down casually, and stepped towards the door, breaking my trance. “Mmhm…thirsty” he said softly with a smirk, pecking my lips before shutting the door in my face.I scoffed, blinking a few times in surprise and my cheeks going hot at the very true accusation. 

“Oh wow! Wow! A girl can’t enjoy free eye candy in her own damn house in which she pays the bills!?” I called through the door as I headed to my room with a smile, hearing him chuckle a bit. 

I laid back on my bed, opening my phone and going back to my scrolling on Tik Tok. It was about 10 minutes of senseless scrolling while listening to the water run- before, for some strange reason, I had the urge to click the search button and type in Carmy’s name. 

It felt…a little creepy. But- I pushed the shame off telling myself its normal to want to see someone you’re seeing’s social media, so I decided to feed that little voice in my mind telling me it was a good idea. 

And boy was it a great idea. 

The first 20 or so videos were absolute fan-cams of Carmen from different interviews he’d done for different events, award shows, etc. and the comments were absolutely filthy- and also spoke to my very soul for the way he made me feel..

‘Oh- I KNOW it’s big- FS fs!!’

‘I need him in a way thats concerning to feminism- like..strip my rights away’

‘He seems SO unhinged&crazy abt his craft…I NEED him’

‘Chef- more like DADDY’

‘You KNOW he's ripped, look at the armsss- and the HANDS?! NEED EM AROUND MY MF THROAT!!!’

Each comment i’d read I was giggling more, but then- an even better thought popped into my mind, if theres fancams… There has to be fanfiction.

 I nearly sprained a thumb opening my Tumblr app and typing in his name in the search bar. I giggled maniacally as if I just struck gold about 5 minutes later of digging through reposts of photoshoots he’d done fore magazines that I was amazed he didnt post on his personal instagram- when I struck the first one. 

Little gasps and giggles left my lips as I continued to read through the post. Being honest with myself, I wasn’t giggling at the people posting- I was giggling because I knew Carm doesn’t have a clue about this- and I can not wait to see the look on his face when I tell him about it.

I was so engulfed in the story of some fantasy someone had about Carm roughly fucking them in over the counter in the kitchen, giggling at the idea, that I hadn’t even heard the shower water cut off.

 I wish we could do that in the kitchen after everything was closed - but truth be told, Carmy is way too shy for public stuff, at least right now. But damn- after he leaves me in the mornings? I should be reading up on his tumblr tag for ideas because holy fuck- these bitches are filthy whores in the best way.

The bathroom door clicks open and he flicked off the bathroom light. “What’s all the gigglin’ out here missy?” he asked amusedly, coming over to now his side of the bed. I looked up to see him shirtless, clad in the light grey sweatpants I’d come to love so much that hung low off of his toned hips. 

“Uh-” I said, the meer view of him completely erasing all previous thoughts from my brain. Fuck his curls are so much more pronounced when they’re wet, it drives me nuts. No wonder his chest is so curly…

“TikTok?” he asks when I don’t reply, instead just admiring his frame, kneeling on the mattress and getting in bed next to me and he sees the Tumblr app open with a screen full of text. “Readin’ then, baby?” he asks now, and I realize I still hadn’t said anything, my focus on the little curly patch of hair that adorned the middle of his chest.

“Everyone wants to fuck you” I said the first thing that came to my mind, my eyes flickering to his finally, and he laughed. His head fell back on the headboard, eyes crinkling up in amusement adorably. 

“What?” he asked, poking my side playfully. “Who wants to fuck me? I haven’t gotten any offers as of late other than you, of course” he snorts and pushed his wet curls back off his forehead.

“N-no you’re like…famous, Carm, like- alot of people want to fuck famous chef’s.. I didn’t realize it before but it’s like..a kink? I guess? Like.. how I wanna fuck winged dudes, but some girls ultimate kink is a super sexy, awarded, top of the line chef ” I giggled and his eyebrows raised, a smirk forming on his lips.

“A kink?” he shakes his head amusedly, rolling his eyes lightly. “And who told you this baby. Sadie?” he asked and it was my turn to laugh.

“No! No, It was me, I figured it out… have- have you not looked yourself up on TikTok? People like, they make fancams with the interviews you’ve done at those um- the James Beard award things for the last few years? And the other interviews about how you’ve come up that you did back in New York..they’re like- people want you, Carm, really- like, you have these bitches pussys meowing.” I said with a giggle, smiling wide as a blush crept to his cheeks.

“The fuck is a fancam?” he asks, causing me to giggle.

“You are such an old man sometimes, you know that right?” I pecked his lips and he squeezed my cheeks when I try to pull away, smushing my lips into a dramatic pout.

“I’m only three years older than you, you know that right?” he said and kissed my lips once more before letting me go.

I laugh at his firmness on the matter. “Three years closer to 30, mister 27 and 24, 2 very different check points” I teased and went back to my tik tok likes. His eyebrows raised as he leaned in, wrapping his arm around my waist to pull me closer when he saw my last 13 likes in the previews contained his face.

“Should I be scared?” He mumbled into my neck with a soft chuckle, his minty breath hitting my senses.

“Mmm…Knowing you you’re gonna be all flustered, especially by the comments” I said, clicking on the first one. I smiled as I watched, “Look at that sexy little chef” I teased and he pinched my waist playfully as ‘Serpentine’ by The Gorillaz played in the background.

“S’what- people just like, look at me with music? Wait- why-why does it keep cutting to pictures of my hands from that article?” he questions, causing me to laugh and bury my face in the pillow at his pure obliviousness. “Hey! Tell me do I have weird hands?” he asks causing me to giggle harder. 

“Carmen oh my god!” I catch my breath. “You are so oblivious to your hotness, its adorable. No babe, no. Everyone is turned on by your hands, your hands are like…girlporn.” I explained, and his eyebrows raised in confusion, his cheeks bright pink.

“Girlporn.” he repeats, and I nodded enthusiastically with an amused smile.

 “I don’t believe that- I think y’re all makin’ fun of my hands, open the comments” he said and I roll my eyes playfully, obliging and reading some of my favorites out loud.

“Wow- these girls get me, Carm. ‘I know its big’ , ‘I need those hands around my neck-oops.’, ‘do you think he’s as passionate in bed as he is about the kitchen?’ oooo- I wanna reply and say yes to that one” I giggle and he takes my phone from my hand, scrolling. The light on his face accentuated his blush and he bit his lip in concentration as he scrolls.

“Who are all these people” he muttered to himself, causing me to laugh a bit. 

“Your fanclub baby, I told you - people love you, and they love what you do and the passion you have for it” I kiss his shoulder gently. “You haven't even read the fanfiction yet” I giggled into his skin and he looks down at me, offering the phone back quickly. 

“Show” he ordered, and I laughed. “Seriously, honey! Show! I’m frankly a little freaked out.” he said and I took the phone, going back to Tumblr.

“Babe, its nothing to be afraid of, they’re just horny 20-somethings like we are. And you’re like- mega famous? You’re like….Like- the Harry Styles of chefs! Of course like every bitch in culinary school is gonna be after your dick” I said, causing him to laugh.

“Oh my god- you really are something. C’mon, Read to me, about me- er how people think I am?” he chuckled and got comfy in bed, wrapping his arms around my waist and snuggling me into his chest. 

“Mmm so I’m your personal book slash fanfiction reader now?” I said teasingly, resting my head back against his chest and he kissed the top of my head sweetly. 

“Mhmm, and we can stay up as late as we want, I have tomorrow off” he said and I gasped happily, looking up at him with stars of pure joy in my eyes.

“You are?” I squeak with a broad smile and he beamed at my excitement, kissing my lips tenderly and resting his forehead on mine. 

“Mmmhmm, all y’rs t’morrow babygirl, you workin’?” he asked and I withered a bit, realizing I did, in fact, have obligations tomorrow.

“No- well…kinda, I have therapy at 1, and then I have the rest of the day, but my sessions are 3 hours.” I said my eyes fluttering to his lips before meeting his again. 

“Good girl” he said softly before kissing my lips dearly. My tummy flutters, and I feel warmth rush to my core at the name. He doesn’t know how much praise like that does to me. 

I delicately run my fingers through his damp curls, opening my mouth for him and humming in satisfaction at the minty taste that flares across my tongue almost instantly. I looped a curl around my finger absentmindedly, relishing in the taste of him. 

I interlaced our legs together, so every bit of possible flesh was being touched by him, soothingly running my calf along his. He huffs a small laugh into my mouth before pulling away. 

“Are we close enough now baby?” He kissed my jaw gently and nuzzled his face in my neck. I smiled wide, interlocking the fingers of my free hand with his. 

“Nope” I respond jokingly. Abruptly, I was being rolled over on top of him with one swift motion, only needing one of his arms to flip me like a ragdoll. I squeak in surprise, catching myself by straddling his hips with my thighs tightly and wrapping my arms around his middle, my phone lost someplace in the mass disarray of the blankets. 

“There we go angel, can’t be closer.” he said, pleased at his work. He wrapped his arms around my back and tucked his hands under my shirt, rubbing long strokes over my skin. 

“Mmm” I said happily, comfortably tucking my icy hands between his warm muscular back and the mattress “sooo warm” I said, giggling a bit when I sense him shiver slightly at the contact. 

“Jesus babe. Why the fuck are y’r hands so cold” he murmured, gently grazing my back with his short nails causing my eyes to flutter shut in ecstasy

I sighed softly in appreciation “keep doin’ that bear, it feels really good” I expressed, nuzzling my face in the crook of his neck comfortably. 

“Course babygirl” he said tranquily, causing a small smile to form on my lips. 

“I love it when you call me names…” I said calmly into his skin, gently kissing his neck. 

“I love it when you call me Bear” he replied lightly, squeezing my hip with the free hand that wasn’t doing the scratching. 

 “Good cause I love calling you Bear, it fits you, baby.” I kissed his jaw adoringly before sitting up slightly, resting my hands on his chest for support. 

“Alexa, lights out bitch.” I said loud enough for the speaker to pick up, before laying back down. 

“Okay, lights out, bitch.” The speaker replied before my tv shut off, as well as my lamps, the only glow in the room being my soft fairy lights. I feel Carms chuckle beneath me and I look down at him. 

“I can’t with you..Y’re not gettin’ out of reading that to me, y’know. I wanna know what people think I’m like” he said and I roll my eyes with a smile. 

“Fine- but I was only sparing you, a lot of the stuff they wrote is really filthy and I know you’re kinda shy” I settle back on his chest, holding my phone to the right of his shoulder where I could see. 

“Now I’m really interested” he snorts and I roll my eyes. 

“This one, is called Yes, Chef” I whispered the title in his ear seductively and nibbled at his earlobe, giggling when I felt his palm come down on my ass in a gentle spank. 

“Cut it with the theatrics and read, honey” he said with a smile 

“Okay! Ok fine. Here’s the summary; ‘Valerie is a 20 year old college student, who got a summer job as a food runner at Chicagos finest restaurant- The Bear, with world famous chef prodigy Carmen Berzatto, things got hot and heavy on her first day in the kitchen.’ ”

I read and he snorts a laugh. “Wow ok so firstly- she can’t even drink, way too young for me, and second- her first day?! Jesus people must think I’m a fuckin’ douchebag. The prodigy thing was a nice touch though.” he said simply and I giggled. 

“Just wait. It’s not supposed to be like…realistic. It’s only a fantasy.” I explained and started reading. A few paragraphs in when it started to hit the plot point, he interrupts. 

“Okay- what?” He laughs and I look up at him, an amused smile on his lips.

“Have you ever seen me wear rings in the kitchen? Ever?” He questions, raising his eyebrows. 

“Oh my godddd” I groaned dramatically, giggling into his chest. “Carmy! Fantasy. The rings have purpose, just wait.” I said and he rolled his eyes, leaning down and kissing the top of my head. 

“Fine. Continue, but this isn’t realistic. Rings are so unsanitary baby I’d never wear them in the kitchen” he rubs over my back gently. 

I continued on getting through a few more paragraphs before my sneaky eyes betrayed me, reading slightly ahead “ooo this is where it gets really good babe. ‘I could barely reply, and he must’ve known that because he lets out an almost mocking laugh, and growls in my ear “like that mm? Little slut loves getting filled out by her boss on her first day?” he spanks me so hard the sound bounces off the walls, and I’m sure there will be a bruise-“ 

“Okay woah- I’d never hit you that hard what the fuck” he said, a bit shocked causing me to giggle. 

“Why not?” I look up at him and his eyebrows furrow in concern. 

“You want me to hit you during sex?” He questioned, his hands going still on my back. I shrug a bit, thinking it over. 

“I’m more of a praise person, but if degradation like that gets you off- I think it’s hot. But…scenes like that where it’s all rough- it’s pretty emotionally draining. I’d just need more aftercare.” I said softly, gently tracing over the triangle on his chest with my forefinger absentmindedly as I spoke. 

“Like…BDSM? You’re into that?” He asked and I put my phone down, nodding a bit. 

“Yeah..I mean- yeah. You aren’t?” I asked, slightly anxious for the answer. 

It didn’t bother me if Carm only wanted to have the same vanilla-esc sex we’d been having, but I would be much more fulfilled sexually if he would try more daring things out with me. 

“I-I’ve never um…done it. Like- not…not anything real like- spanking, sure- but I’ve heard it’s like a whole…culture of stuff, and I don’t- I don’t really understand it.” He said quietly, his cheeks going pink. 

I smiled a bit, leaning in and kissing his lips tenderly, gently cupping his cheeks and rubbing my thumbs along his stubble. Had he even went home, or did he come straight back here? My heart fluttered at the idea of him being so excited to get back to me, he didn’t even bother stopping at home.

“We can learn what you like, together baby.” I said softly when I pulled away, gently stroking his cheekbone with my thumb. 

“What do you like?” He asked, equally as quiet as he gazed into my eyes. I could see all the curiosity behind his icy blues, and it almost made me giddy that I was the one who got to properly introduce him to this world. 

“The part of BDSM I like, is more psychological control than physical. I do like bondage, I love breath play, impact play is a maybe. I like being spanked, I’ve thought about belt play for sure - but I do not want you to slap me across the face or shove me around in like… a mean way. But what really turns me on is the dom-sub dynamic outside the bedroom. I’ve never had like- a real dom but I’ve wanted one. A soft dom... But I don’t do like…hookups, or friends with benefits. I want it intertwined in to my actual romantic life..which can be kinda hard to find. But…I could see you being really good at the soft dom thing.” I expressed, playing with his curls gently as I talked with my cheek flush to his chest. 

“I know what Dom and sub is..but what’s soft Dom? Like- a Dom that isn’t good enough er- like.. Strong enough to be a full dominant?” He questions and I sit up from his chest, my gaze meeting his one more quickly. 

“Baby, no…no. Absolutely not. You are fucking amazing. A soft dom is a preference. Just like I said how I love praises, soft doms use rewards more then punishments. Instead of demanding something out of a sub, like- forcing it out of them, they’ll give an order a precise order, and patiently wait for their submissive to follow it, and then they reward their sub, instead of punishing because they were made to wait or something... That’s an attitude I think you’d take on really effortlessly, just cause of your job and the tolerance it requires” I explained and he nodded a bit, his hands once more continuing to rub soothing strokes along my skin. 

“So…you like being told what to do, but in a nice way?” He questioned, and I nodded with a smile. 

“Exactly. And I love praises when I’m doing something you like. Soft dom’s aren’t about humiliation or degradation, which I don’t think you are. Just from what we’ve done…but- do you like degrading?” I asked and he bit his lip for a moment as he thought. 

“No…no- I dunno…I don’t wanna hurt your feelings baby, isn’t the point of sex to feel good?” He questioned and I gently stroke his cheek, my heart turning to goop at his honesty in the question. 

“Mmhmm, some people feel good when they’re being mean like that though. It’s all consensual, I think if I was into that it would be because I want to take back control, y’know? In a way, being slapped around as a woman- I guess in a situation that you’re controlling it can help us feel…safer?” I shrug a bit “but you aren’t a sadist Carm, we don’t have to do that.” I rest my cheek back on his chest, continuing to rub my fingers over the little curly patch of hair in the middle of his pecs. 

“Well t’me it would just feel…wrong? Like..to call you a slut or something.” I giggled a bit, resting my chin on his chest again to look at him. 

“You can do it in a nice way y’know? I’m talking about like- for instance ‘all you’re good for is being a slut’ I don’t like that. But if you were like ‘That’s it my good little slut you’re doing such a great job for me’ I’d probably love it. Because to me it’s like- If I’m your slut, if I belong to you.. it’s different than being just a slut- I guess I probably have a bit of an ownership kink.” I giggled and he raised his eyebrows in surprise. 

“Where’d you learn how to talk like that Jesus” he muttered, his hands sliding down and squeezing my ass firmly. “I…” he trails off for a moment. 

“What baby? Tell me” I said encouragingly.

“I think..” he clears his throat. “I think I like praise too?” He said his cheeks going flaming red at the admission. “I-is that normal f’r guys t’like that?” He asked quietly, clearly anxious that he’d possibly said something wrong. 

“Yes, yes baby, thank you for telling me, what kind of praise do you like?” I asked, gently tracing the veins along his neck with a feather-light touch. 

He swallows thickly, goosebumps covering his skin. “Um..I- I dunno…but it- I-I guess the idea sounds nice? C-can you give me some examples..maybe?” He asked nervously, his thumbs rubbing circles into the flesh of my bum that he was still holding on to firmly. 

“Mm..well it’s not so much of an example as it is a real thought I just haven’t said out loud.. when we were in the shower and you were all bossy telling me to bend over, that was so fucking hot. I think about it all the time when I’m getting off, it always gets me there.” I smirk, gently playing with his chain between my fingers, tugging lightly. 

His pupils dilated, drinking in my words and I could see that he was contemplating something behind his gaze. “So…you like it when I give you orders like that? Like..Bossin’ you around? I honestly felt kinda bad after” he said softly and I nodded. 

“I love it. Also when you praised me for how well I take your huge cock, that was so good baby.” I kiss his neck, gently nipping the sweet spot below his pulse point and he groans softly, his grip on my ass tightening. 

“Fine… Then get on your back.” He said lowly, his voice husky with lust. Without a second thought, I plop on my back, spreading my legs to make space for him. 

“As you wish.” I said with a satisfied smile and he straddled me, his weight pushing me into the bed and he held himself up by his muscular arms on either side of me, caging me in. His chain dangled in front of my face teasingly, and I took it between my teeth. 

“Fuck you look so hot like that baby” he said softly, causing my proud smile to grow. 

I dropped it from my teeth “I want you to own me Carmy” I said softly, my hands trailing up his muscled chest. 

“Ye’ baby? You wanna be mine?” He kissed my neck with hot, open-mouthed kisses, leaving a trail of fire in their wake. My eyes fluttered shut, my stomach full of a swarm of butterflies, and my core on fire. I gasp in pleasure as he nips the spot on my neck that drives me wild, my chest arching up and becoming flush with his. 

Suddenly, I’m reminded of my current situation. 

“Wait” I said softly and he immediately stopped, pulling away and sitting up slightly. 

“Did I do something?” He asked nervously, carefully pulling down my shirt that had been pushed up in the heat of the moment. 

“No…it’s…” I blushed, covering my face in embarrassment. “It’s my fault- We can’t t’night I’m sorry,” I said shame lacing my voice. I feel his hand around my wrist, gently tugging. 

“Honey, look at me- what’s wrong?” He pulled my hand to his lips and kissed it gently. 

“I’m- I’m on my period and…I don’t wanna disgust you so- so no.” I huff, crossing my arms over my chest, staring at the ceiling more annoyed with myself than anything. 

“If it’s a me thing baby- I don’t care. I’ll wear a condom if you want, we can put down a towel. I’m definitely not afraid of a little blood.” He said sweetly, gently resting his hands on my hips and squeezing affirmingly. 

I felt a hard lump in my throat, and tears began pooling at the back of my eyes as my lip begins to quiver. He noticed and his lips curled into a small frown “we- we don’t have to angel, I’m just telling you that I don’t care if you’re bleeding- It’s- it’s fine, princess, we can just cuddle” he said gently and I nodded. 

“I know-“ I whisper, the tears making their way to my lash line and threatening to spill over. 

“Then why’re you cryin’, pretty girl?” He gently swipes his thumb under my eye, collecting the tears that had gathered. 

“Cause” I sniffled. “Cause you’re perfect Carmen.” I cup his cheeks and pull him into a deep kiss, my eyes squeezing shut and more tears falling down my cheeks.

He pulled away gently “don’t cry Angel, please don’t cry” he whispers, brushing away my residual tears and kissing my damp cheeks before resting his forehead on mine. “Do you want to? I want to, baby. But what I want more is what you want.” He whispered, looking in to my eyes honestly. 

I smiled a bit, nodding slightly against him. “Yes” I whisper. “But I just feel…all mushy now- and…I don’t wanna fuck” I said and I saw the disappointment behind his eyes, but of course he didn’t let it show otherwise. 

“I want you to make love to me.” I whispered, kissing his jaw tenderly in a line up to his lips. He smiled softly against my lips, humming softly. 

“Anything you want, princess.” He said softly before kissing my forehead tenderly. 

I smile warmly, my hands trailing up his sides, “let me go get a towel..” I said softly, and he shifted onto his side of the bed, sitting up against the headboard. I sit up and looked at him before getting up, grabbing his hand and squeezing gently. 

“Promise if you get grossed out- we’ll stop? A-and…and that you won’t see me differently.” I said meekly, in frantic need of reassurance. 

“I told you, honey, you could never gross me out, and being intimate while you’re on your cycle won’t change my feelings for you. I love being close to you, nothing could change that” he conveyed sincerely, before bringing my fingers to his lips and kissing gently. 

I nod, “ok,” I said quietly. I got up and padded off to the bathroom, shutting the door behind me. I used the restroom quickly and prepared myself by wiping down with some baby wipes, even though I’d just showered a few hours prior (you could never be too careful) - and washed my hands before grabbing an old towel from the bathroom closet. I took a deep breath to settle my nerves before opening up the door again. 

“I just- don’t um…finger me. You can touch me but- no- no fingers..please” I said shyly and sat on the bed, plopping the folded towel on the edge. 

“You got it, honey, thanks f’r tellin’ me- now c’mere” he patted his lap gently. I shuffle over on my knees, straddling him and sitting on his thighs gently. 

“Can we…can we turn off the lights?” I ask softly and he nodded. 

“Whatever will make you most comfortable baby, I’m fine with whatever you want.” He kissed my jaw sweetly. 

I leaned down and kissed his neck gently, leaving soft, lingering kisses down and around his throat, trailing down, grazing my teeth along his skin as I did so and kissing his collarbones gently. “You have such a nice chest Carmy” I said softly, kissing the base of his throat sweetly. 

“I could say the same thing about you, can I take this off honey?” He tugged the hem of my shirt gently, and in response I sit up and lifted my arms. He slips the fabric off, throwing it somewhere on the floor and sat back, eyes racking over my frame causing my cheeks to heat. 

“So fuckin’ perfect.” He mutters, his large hands cupping my breasts and thumbs rubbing over my nipples causing them to perk up almost immediately. 

“Do you like my piercings?” I asked softly, one of my hands coming up and cupping his gently. He looked at me as if he was shocked I'd even ask the question. 

“Babe- y’re so fuckin’ hot. You have the nicest tits I’ve ever seen. I’m obsessed with these” he squeezes them together for emphasis, causing me to giggle and I felt all of my tension and insecurity melt away. 

“Yeah? What do you like about ‘em?” I asked with a smirk, amused at his boyish affinity for breasts, running my hand down his forearm and squeezing gently. 

“Fuck yes. So many things. I love how they’re the perfect handful for me, like they fit fuckin’ perfect in my hands honey. And they’re so soft, and so perky, and fuckin’ bouncy- c’mere I need ‘em” he pulls me to him, kissing over my flesh with hot, wet smooches before taking one of my nipples in his mouth and suckling gently, his tongue playing with my jewelry causing me to moan out loudly in pleasure. 

I’d never been ravished this time of the month before- and to be quite honest, it was slightly overwhelming just how sensitive I was. 

I gasped slightly at the feeling of his teeth gazing at the sensitive bud, my chest arching into him and pathetic whimpers falling from my lips. “Carmy - fuck I love your mouth s’much” I grind my hips into his, feeling his length already rock hard beneath me. He moaned slightly into my skin, the vibrations against my nipple sending a crashing wave of pleasure to my core that caused my hips to buck into his and my hand to fall flat to his chest to try and ground myself, his thumping heart resting beneath my palm. 

“Fuck - take these off” I said, tugging at his sweatpants. “I- I don’t wanna ruin them with a stain they’re my favorites” I breathe out, pulling at the waistband more. He chuckles into my skin, pulling away from my nipple with a pop and gazing up at me with dark, lust filled eyes, the blue almost completely swallowed by the black saucers of his pupils. 

“How do you want me angel?” He asked, resting his chin on my breast and not breaking my gaze. His lips were puffy and swollen from the assault on my nipple, glistening with saliva. 

“I-“ I felt my cheeks heat, my stomach flipping with anxiety at the realization of the intimacy I really wanted. I swallowed thickly before continuing. “I- I want you to be on top of me…like…like earlier? When you were pressing me into the bed it…it made me feel safe” I brushed a hand through his curls. 

A small blush heated his cheeks and he smiled a bit. “Yeah princess? Ok..I liked that too. I wanna see y’re pretty face” he said softly, brushing my fringe away from where it had hidden my eyes slightly. 

I kissed his lips tenderly before grabbing the towel, laying it down on my side and smoothing it out. I realized, without the glow of the moonlight pouring in that was cut off by the curtains, it was pitch black on my half of the bed. “Can you- um…open the shade a little?” I ask him when he got up to slip his sweatpants off. 

“Course baby, no one can see us right?” He joked, going over and pulling open the curtain and soft moonlight flooded the whole room, just enough. 

“I think it’s dark enough in here for no one to get a free show” I giggled, laying back and making sure my hips were fully on the towel so I wouldn’t stain my silk sheets. I sat up a bit, pushing my hair behind me so I or he wouldn’t pull it by accident before settling back down, spreading my legs once more for him. 

He stood at the end of the bed, like me, in nothing but his underwear. His large hands curled over his hips as he admired my frame. I blushed, suddenly feeling as naked as I was, and I resisted the urge to cover up my breasts with my hands. “You are so fuckin’ beautiful, Winnie” he said softly, kneeling on the bed and coming up to me, wrapping my thighs around his middle and kissing up from my navel to my neck in long, open mouth kisses, marking me with his saliva. The chill of the air conditioning after each kiss eventually brought on a small shiver that turned into raised goosebumps. 

 “You make me feel so beautiful” I said softly, my eyes fluttering shut and head falling back to the pillow in bliss as he ravished me with adoring kisses over every inch of bare skin. 

“Mm well that’s because you are, you’re the most captivating girl I’ve ever seen” he whispered in my ear gently, his voice laced with a certainty that he believed what he was telling me. 

I swallowed thickly, my breath hitching when he bites down on my neck gently, sucking on the sensitive skin. “I want to be yours Carm. Only yours- please” I breathe out, my arms curling around his back and fingers drawing little patterns over his muscles lightly. He bit down on my skin harder, sucking roughly. 

There will surely be a bruise. 

I moaned softly, one of my hands trailing up to wrap in his soft curls and play with them between my fingers. “Yeah?” He mumbled into my skin, peppering kisses down my jaw “Y’want me to own you, baby? Mmm? Y’want everyone to know that you belong t’me?” He asked gently in my ear, his hot breath and husky voice laced with desire hurling waves of warmth to my core. 

“Please-please own me Carmy. Make love to me” I begged quietly, my voice trembling with want and anticipation. He rested his forehead on mine, nuzzling the tip of his nose against mine sweetly. 

“You’re the only person I’d ever want to make love to, honey” he whispered into my lips before kissing me hungrily. I moan at his words, opening my mouth for him and dragging my tongue across his, needing more of him.

 I lifted my hips when I feel hip pat my bum, and he pulls my panties down to my knees, breaking our kiss to trail kisses up my leg before he drapes it over his side to peel off the barely-there fabric, flinging it to the floor before wrapping my leg securely back around his waist. 

“I need you” I voiced softly, my fingers trailing down his chest to his happy trail, delicately hooking my fingers in his waistband and pulling him free. His length eagerly pops out and slaps against his stomach, making me smile proudly.

 “Do you need me?” I ask quietly, wrapping my fist around his length and stroking him gently, giving him the firm tug he loved. 

He groans, his head falling back slightly and eyes fluttering shut as I run my thumb over his slit, spreading the precum all over his rosy head. “Fuck baby- so bad. I miss your pussy so fuckin much” he breathes out, whimpering and grabbing my wrist when I started massaging his tip firmly with my thumb. 

“Ah-ah-mmm-baby” he whines, gripping my wrist tighter “fuuck- shit Y’re gonna make me cum, s-stop- please- I-I still wanna fuck you” he whimpered and I gently lowered my hand, continuing to do slow languid strokes over the bottom half of his length and I see his muscles relax as if I’d just taken him right off the edge. 

“That’s how it feels when you rub my clit- more or less.” I said and he gently pushes me to lay back, causing me to lose my grip on him. 

“I’d say less considering-“ he spread my lips with his ring and forefinger, dragging his middle finger just barely brushing over my clit causing my hips to buck into his palm and a soft moan to escape my lips. “Takes barely anything t’get you worked up baby, you were chokin my cock- not a fair comparison” he teased with a smirk, leaning in and kissing me warmly. 

I cry out in his mouth when he flicks his finger over the extremely sensitive bud, “see baby? Y’re already so worked up… I love those sexy little noises you make” he hums in my ear, rubbing me in achingly slow circles. 

“Oh- fuck yes- yes-yes Carmy just like that” I whine out, tightening my heels in his back to pull myself closer. He adds more pressure and I gasp out, grinding my hips against his hand, so aching for more friction he barely had to move his fingers to get me off at this point. 

“That’s it honey” he leans down, taking my nipple back in his mouth and my core clenches around nothing which he feels beneath his hand causing him to smile lightly, his tongue flicking over the nipple.

I let out a breathy “ahh” at the wave of pleasure that washes over my core at the action.

“Mmm you’re humpin’ my hand like a horny little bunny right now baby, it’s adorable” he mutters into my skin and I smiled lazily, opening my eyes to look at him. 

“Not my fault your hands are better at the job then mine are” I circled my hips, and he took back over, rubbing quicker but lighter circles into my heat that made my stomach tighten and head fall back on the pillow with a breathy “oh”. My breathing quickens, my core tightening, that familiar building beginning to wash over me and my eyes twisting shut, nose scruching in focus. 

“Y’gonna cum f’me, bunny? Mmm? I know that adorable face baby, you close? Y’gonna cum f’me angel?” He cooed teasingly, kissing my collar bones and nipping gently. I whimper at the use of the new name, my eyebrows furrowed together in pleasure. 

“Ah! mm-mmhmm” I managed to ramble out, my mind going blank other than the overwhelming tightness in every muscle. 

“Hey, hey, lemme see those pretty eyes, princess” he kisses the corner of my mouth sweetly. “Mm? Please Baby? Can I see those pretty eyes while you cum for me?” my eyes fluttered open and met his, seeing him smiling sweetly. “Oh you are such a mess and we’ve barely started angel, such a good girl- my good girl” he said, and with that- I was thrown over the edge into my orgasm full force. 

My hips bucked up, my clit pulsing, warmth flooding every inch of my body as the pleasure overtook me. “Yesyesyesyes” was all that I could manage to get out of my mouth, my breathing ragged. I pulled him to me, kissing him feverishly, the sound of lips the only audible while I rode out my high.

 “I need you” I mumbled between hot, wet kisses. “I need you inside me,” I said, before kissing him again. 

He adjusted my hips, pulling away briefly and ripping open a condom with his teeth that he blindly grabbed from my nightstand he’d left out for us a while ago, and rolled the latex over his throbbing member. “Ribbed huh?” He raised his eyebrows teasingly and I giggled. 

“More fun f’me- especially with a huge cock like yours” I pull him back to me with my legs and chuckled as he lines himself up, holding himself up with one arm. 

“I’m honestly surprised you can take all of it.” He said, nudging his tip in and I moaned, dropping my head back and eyes fluttering shut.  “Fuck” he grunted, pushing in deeper. “Y’re fuckin tight babe- are you sure y’re ok?” He looks up at me and in response I nod, my jaw dropped wide in pleasure and eyes shut lightly, breathing heavy.

“Fuck- oh my god please- please- more” I begged him, grabbing his hand and interlacing our fingers. He gently kissed my forehead as he pushed himself into me to the point our pelvises were flush and I let out a loud whiny cry at the sudden pressure. 

“Yes fuck- I feel so full-s’good” I whine out. He moaned softly as he thrusts out to the tip before going all the way back in, the ribbed tip of his cock brushing right up against my g-spot in a way that makes my hips jerk and I let out a soft “ah”, stars forming behind my eyes. He wrapped his forearms around my thighs, pulling me higher up in his lap and wrapping his arms around my back, holding me over the bed with his hands on my shoulderblades as he started a quick snap of his hips, moaning out as his head fell back. 

“Fuckkk baby. Y’re so fuckin’ good t’me letting me have you like this- shiiit- s’fuckin’ tight baby y’re swallowing my fuckin’ cock right now” he grunted out in absolute ecstasy.

But it fell on deaf ears because this new position he had us in had me swimming through an ocean of pleasure and I couldn’t think of anything other then how deep he was, and how he was hitting spots I’d yet to discover myself or with any other partner. I could feel him in my stomach - and I’d have thought before now, someone so big would hurt, but it was as if we were molded for each other's bodies, he filled me up like a fucking puzzle piece.

“Mm? How’s it feel baby? You ok?” He slows down his movements,  breaking me from my trance and I cupped his cheeks, resting my forehead on his. 

“Carmen” I whisper, my hands trembling with pleasure. 

“What? What- baby, am I hurting you?” He asks his voice laced with worry. 

“No- no. I need you- I- I need you to keep fucking going. Don’t stop. Unless I tell you. To stop. Understand me? I’ve never felt so fucking amazing- I can’t even think baby- I can’t even fucking cum right now- i’m trying to process this level of pleasure, you’re fucking me dumb right now- please, please don’t fuckin’ stop.” I rambled out and stroke his jaw gently and he continues his slow pace. “F-Faster, and harder. Please” I said, kissing him deeply and moaning into his mouth when he did so. 

I pulled away, gasping in pleasure as he thrusted into my gspot, my hand gripping his shoulder and the nails digging in to the skin, causing half moon shapes “there” I squeaked, my eyes screwing shut. He rested my back against the headboard for support, before snapping his hips faste straight into that spot. The only sounds in the room were now his soft satisfied grunts, wet sounds of him drilling into me, the clapping of skin, and short sweet little ‘ah…ah…ah…’ noises spilling from my lips unintentionally at the force of his every thrust. 

Before I could even warn him, my walls are pulsing and fluttering around him wildly as one of the most intense orgasms of my life crashed over me like a tsunami, my hips bucking wildly and thighs quivering uncontrollably. I cry out, my back arching up and my fists white from grabbing the sheets so hard. I could have sworn I felt one of my nails crack under the pressure of my grip.

“Mmmm- cumming- cumming!!” I muttered urgently between heaving breaths when I could finally get a coherent word out, causing him to whimper softly as he continued on the same pace to his release.

 He grips my hips tight enough to bruise, his head falling forward as he chases his own release “fuck- gah- me too babe- ah” he grunted as he spilled into the condom, laying me on the bed gentle as he could in his exhaustion and limply collapsing over my frame as he catches his own breath. 

He lets out a breathy moan as my walls continue pulsing around him as I come down from my own release “holy fuck babe.” He breathes in to my skin, “fuuuuck” he sits up slightly, pulling me in to a heated kiss. I hum softly, my mind still fuzzy but happy he didn’t pull out right away. 

Once he pulled away from the kiss I smiled lazily, utterly fucked out from one round. “That was so amazing Carmy. I’ve never came like that before- like- that was a round three kinda orgasm, you did sooo good Bear, thank you” I said sweetly, playing with his chain gently and adjusting the pendant. 

“It was perfect honey, ‘took me so well” he kisses down my jaw and neck, I hummed in satisfaction. 

“Don’t pull out yet, I wanna stay like this, please” I said softly, running my fingers over his back. He chuckled softly into my skin 

“Okay babygirl, whatever you need” he gently brushed my hair out of my face and cups my cheek. “I like it when we get to be so close like that…when we have sex” he said quietly, bringing a smile to my lips.  “Me too” I whispered, leaning in and kissing him tenderly.

➵ 𝐍𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫

[bi-bi-bi-buckley]

HOLY FUCKING SHIT

THEY DID IT

ABC DID IT

The entire episode I thought Buck was jealous of Tommy and wanting more time with Eddie but NO!? NO NO AHHH

Ok so I'm really excited and have so much pent up excited energy which I'm going to try to channel into this post to get it out of my system. ABC did in 4 episodes what Fox couldn't in 6 seasons.

I- y'all I am not ok. Buck is such an important character to me. I see him in myself. And for him to be LGBT? For him to be BI?! (or at least like woman and men, a label hasn't been said in the show yet) Like me!? It's comforting. It's amazing.

I am literally shaking and I'm sure my boyfriend is regretting everything cause I've been screaming about it to him. I apologize for no clear thoughts or beautifully crafted post I'm just still jittery and just excited, confused, and happy all at once.

I also liked how it wasn't a sex scene. Because as I'm sure some or all of y'all know, sometimes media fetisizes LGBT+ people and relationships so for this scene to have the tension but for them to not fall into bed? 1. Shows Buck's growth and 2. Makes them a normal couple. The way they both looked at eacother was the sweetest thing. Now, I still like Buck and Eddie of course, but if that writers don't want to change Eddie's sexuality then I won't be too upset. I'm in awe. Truly. It was such a sweet moment.

Now if y'all let me put on my delulu glasses-

The tension in this scene (towards the end when Tommy and Buck were right in front of each other) was very reminiscent of the famous kitchen "go for the title" scene. And I'm just saying, like that's gotta mean something? Maybe? For it to be in the same kitchen. The same session. Just a different partner? Also I'm really hoping Tommy treats Buck well. Buck...has had some pretty bad luck romantically and he deserves someone to love him just as wholly as he loves them. Buck loves with all that he has and he deserves that love tenfold.

I hope that if the reason for this relationship is for Buck to realize his sexuality, then I hope that Tommy is 1. Cool and not an asshole when it's revealed 2. That Buck and Tommy get to keep their friendship. Because the feelings Buck has for him are real- he thinks he's cool! (Also the word cool was used a lot in this episode. Not like evidence or anything just something I noticed)

[justabigoldnerd]

Hey y'all, in just two days it'll be Grief Month, so I've decided to compile a list of things that people who haven't experienced the loss of a close loved one might not think about when writing grief in fiction.

*eye twitches*

This is definitely a healthy way to cope probably

ANYWAY (below the cut because TW for death and grief)

Absence. You notice what's *not* there anymore, and you notice it *loudly*. This is the big one that I don't see in a lot of media. The space just feels empty. Devoid. For a real life example, I had a beloved cat who would literally scream for attention because he didn't understand how to come up and ask for it. When he disappeared, I couldn't stop thinking about how quiet it was. Something was very obviously missing. So, make your characters notice the lack of the person they're mourning. A lag in conversation where they would've added a quip, the kitchen being silent when it was always bustling, a character who always left the TV or radio on passes and suddenly there is no show or song playing quietly in the background. The quiet, the absence, it's oppressive. It makes you want to cover your ears. Oddly enough, sometimes that helps. A song that covers this well is "Through Me (The Flood)" by Hozier.

Memories. This one seems obvious, but it's not just crying in bed to a photo of them. It's *avoiding* photos of them, reminders of them, rooms they've been in, places they've frequented. Everything that reminds you of them feels like it's tearing your body in two with rusty shears. I once locked myself in the middle bathroom of my house because being in any other room reminded me too much of my dog who had passed suddenly at 9 months and I had a panic attack fueled by memories of her. I couldn't even sing or dance anymore for a long time because that's what I was doing with her just the week before she passed. I've only recently been able to look at photos or videos of her again.

Time. In mid September, it will have been two years since my best friend, that 9 month old pup passed. I am still reeling with grief. Your body is a clock and it *will* remember when your loved one passed, even if your mind doesn't. You'll start to think of them more often, you'll start going through the cycle of grief again and you won't know why, until it hits you. It's that time of year again.

Blame. Irrational blame, specifically. You'll blame yourself, others, "if only I had been quicker", "if I had known", "if they'd have just locked the door like I kept telling them to", "if they paid closer attention", and even "If they'd have *cared* this wouldn't have happened." It's wrong, it's bitter, it's hurtful, but it's a part of that grief.

Keepsakes. Not your father's watch or your grandmother's blanket (which are still perfectly lovely and valid!), but the pants with holes in the ankles from my late dog's teeth, or the glasses with a crack splitting one of the lenses from where she grabbed them and took off. I was so angry at her for it at the time. Now they're some of my most prized possessions. I could never get rid of them. They still have her marks. In that same vein is the amount of stray hairs of hers I would find. I kept them all. Sometimes I would just sit on the floor and pick up her fur. The day I realized her fur had stopped showing up on my clothes, I sobbed.

Love. We all know the quote. "What is grief if not love persevering?" As beautiful as it is, I call bullshit. Grief is selfish. It takes all the love you have inside of you and covers it in cement because if it can't have it, no one can. It prevents you from loving. In fact, it made me hate one of my dogs, Petunia, for a long time. It wasn't her fault. She is a beautiful, sweet, sensitive little flower and I do love her now. But grief made me look at her and feel so much rage. Because that was supposed to be *my* pup, not this new thing. I still can't love in the same capacity that I loved Giz (my 9 month old pup, my best friend, my world). I love my dog, the dog that chose *me*, Laika, in a different way. She wormed her way past the walls that grief had built up and made a home in my heart. But Giz lives there too. Laika is my girl, but she'll never be my Giz.

That's all I can think of right now. I might add more as the month wears on and I remember things. Hope this was at all helpful and not just. Idk. Sad.

[waitmyturtles]

To my taggers @hughungrybear, @ranchthoughts, @he-is-lightning-in-a-bottle, and @telomeke, this one's for you!

GET TO KNOW ME TAG :)

do you make your bed?

Not until I sleep in it!

what's your favorite number?

Feel like I don't want to spill it because I use these numbers in passwords lol

what is your job?

Executive management

if you could go back to school, would you?

Such a good question. I already did it once, mid-life, and it was THE BEST DECISION I EVER MADE, and one of the first decisions I truly made just for myself. Would I go back AGAIN? I would have considered it if I didn't know so many PhDs who are at various levels of happiness with their decisions. So: maybe. What I really look forward to is being retired so that I can take free classes at local colleges and have all the time in the world to read through the syllabi.

can you parallel park?

Fuck yes, who do I fucking look like, someone that can't parallel park? /end-East-Coast-road-rage

a job you had that would surprise people?

Hmmm. I don't think I have one that fits this category!

do you think aliens are real?

I think humanity's definition of "life" is too limiting

can you drive a manual car?

UNFORTUNATELY NOT, and I really wanna learn

what's your guilty pleasure?

Watching dramas, honestly. I shouldn't feel guilty about it, but I'm Asian, so I feel guilty about everything

tattoos?

Love them on other people, never made up my mind on what I wanted to get, and I feel like that ship has sailed for me

favorite color?

My kids ask me this all the time: pine green, rich purple, deep pink, all oranges, aquamarine blue, and black

favorite type of music?

I can't choose one. My playlist is all over the place. Korean hip-hop and New Orleans bounce (THANKS @bengiyo) have been my workout go-tos lately

do you like puzzles?

I will when my kids have more patience to do them

any phobias?

HEIGHTS :(

favorite childhood sport?

Ice hockey

do you talk to yourself?

Absolutely, and I've needed to use meditation to manage the inner monologue over the years

what movies do you adore?

Oh gosh. All I think about lately are Thai BLs, so I think a lot about the impact of The Love of Siam and Dew, two movies that are so tough to digest, but are really well done. I've also had two wonderful Japanese movies on the mind for no reason, Like Father, Like Son: Soshite Chichi ni Naru, and Drive My Car.

coffee or tea?

Both, all the time, often mixed

first thing you wanted to be growing up?

I wanted to be a journalist. I was such a rabid sports that I thought being a journalist would get me the closest to sports that I could go without being an athlete. And I actually got to do sports journalism for a while, and it was fun! (But I quit media, which is a whole other thing, and now I'm much happier)

Who hasn't been tagged? How about the old Only Friends Ephemerality Squad, how y'all doing?! @lurkingshan (I think you already did this Shan) @neuroticbookworm @twig-tea @slayerkitty @thatgirl4815 @distant-screaming @clara-maybe-ontheroad

[fivewholeminutes]

so. wembley.

Once I have finally gathered my wits the words did not want to stop coming. This rambling is long; apologies for that. And for the messed up tenses I hate tenses we only have one past tense why is English like this

No photos/videos yet, they are still not properly checked/deleted/edited by me.

It was. Unsurprisingly. One of the best days of my life. But also, I don't remember much from my life, so don't trust me on this one. (Kidding, it totally WAS one of the best days of my life). And uhh... I have a problem with processing events and emotions, so it still feels like I have seen it on a TV screen instead of, you know, actually, physically having been there? Idk how to explain that, I still have to convince my brain that I've been there. I feel detached from it completely. But!! I!! Have!! Been!! There!!

I woke up so early that foxes were still roaming the streets. Didn't talk much with people around me in the queue (hello anxiety), but they were lovely! I signed the blue flag for iii from me & Lia, got the sticker for Projekt Atlantic, received some bracelets, exchanged some bracelets, put some sea creatures tattoos on people (LIA I FORGOT TO GIVE YOU THE WHALE!!!), slept on a pavement, bought merch for myself and others (I've never had anyone to buy concert merch for before, it's such a nice feeling 🥺).

And queueing for so long was so fucking worth it! Third row, baby!! For the first time in the middle!! (Which was my downfall later, but the pre-show me was not aware of that just yet). I couldn't actually hear HEALTH that well, but I really liked their drummer, he was enjoying himself and his joy was contagious. (I've checked them later though and. Last album, my beloved.) During the break, well, you all know what was happening, I have been liveblogging everything (sorry about that <3). The moment someone in the crowd literally screeched when they saw the new masks on instagram was a blessing, I wouldn't have survived seeing them in new masks without a warning. Also, my blind ass would probably realise 3 songs in that they have different masks, I shit you not. Besides, it was super fun having a mental breakdown here on tumblr with y'all <3

When Espera entered the stage, everything else stopped being of any importance to me. I remember my first thought was "oh yeah, sure, the ladies are dressed up and moving like this and you expect me to focus on anything else that is happening on this stage?". And of course, my second thought was "I GOTTA TAKE PICTURES FOR DARYA". Naturally, I was trying to keep up with everything else anyway. I haven't seen ii all too well though and it makes me sad :( Alas. I've had a good vantage point for the ladies. Yeah. Brain went brrrrr every time I was looking at them. Where was I again-

I was still coughing at that time. I got a terrible coughing fit after literally 3 short screams during HEALTH and my idiot ass has left all the lozenges except one in the hotel room an hour before the door opening. I thought I would have to spend the rest of the night not singing along nor screaming and felt utterly heartbroken for a few minutes, but after my Holy Grail Lozenge (and a LOT of water from the venue's crew) my cough has abandoned me for the duration of the whole ritual (thank you, Sleep). Even though, when Sam told us that we have to sing, my only thought was "I CAN'T FUCKING SING EITHER, MATE". But I did. Oh, I so fucking did. I sung my lungs out and did not cough even ONCE.

But you know. I was exhausted, anxious, surrounded by strangers and had more sugar in my veins than red cells at that point, so I wasn't my best self. I really thought the karaoke was for shits and giggles at first. "Oh yeah, it's The Most Popular Song, let's see how it sounds when 10k people sing it without the singer's help!", you know. Thought it was for the recording the announcements warned us about. But then we sung Granite. Ohhhkay. And then The Love You Want - certainly not a song they would leave for an impropmtu singalong. It was then that I (belatedly) realised that yeah, something really was wrong and so my heart broke again. So many preparations! Their biggest gig so far! Even iii managed to be there! And something had to happen!! Specifically!! To Vessel!! Of all people!! That was just not fair. He totally didn't deserve this. But it's just life and its endless fucking bad surprises for everyone, huh.

I didn't have enough time to collect all the broken pieces of my heart from the sticky floor and mend them after this realisation, because after Vessel joined the singing for the last few lines of TLYW, he dropped to his knees in front of us crying and thanking everyone. That sight is now carved into my brain. This is when I realised the 3rd row was a mistake. The psychic damage it gave me is irrevocable. Do you have those moments that you will never forget? A few seconds of an (usually traumatic) experience that will haunt you forever, replaying in your mind like a broken record? It was a bit like this for me. It wasn't traumatic, mind you, but it was definitely something that made a permanent dent in my heart and a home in my brain. And I wouldn't change it anyway.

Another thing that made me think that I will just fall down and never get up was iii & iv's hug. It was. So full of love and reassurence. Idk, you could just feel that emitting from them, okay? I was standing there thinking "yeah sure, just fucking murder me tonight instead, okay. Should've kept staring at Espera only-". Ah yes. The ladies. Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Where was I again-

The goosebumps when the whole venue yelled "they won't be missing you" during Nazareth, oh my fucking god. On my previous rituals, in way smaller venues, there's always been a handful of people screaming it. And everyone doing it? Unparalleled feeling. Bordering on the shrimp emotions scale.

The lights were spectacular. I cannot describe how amazing the light show was. I am sending a kiss to each and every light crew member.

Also, Vessel being more emotional during the ritual as a whole. The TLYW moment was the worst for me, but there were many others. (Ascensionism and Bloodsport stabbing me with a rusty knife the most.) I mean, who could've blamed him for the emotions, he would probably be very emotional even without the voice issues. Who wouldn't be!! It was a big night, after all. God, it must have been so difficult for him, I really, really fucking hope the love coming from his bandmates, crew and the crowd was enough to help him focus on the good parts of the evening only. And!! It wasn't even that bad!!! Sure, he lost his voice for a while, but once it was back you could!! Barely!! Hear!! The difference!! I have a whole new level of respect for Vessel because of that. And for staying onstage with us for the songs he couldn't sing. Didn't know I could respect him even more than I already did, but hey. Love being surprised like that. I have seen concerts where the singers were singing way worse live while being completely healthy. Like sure, you could notice he's not using so many uhh, how do you call this in English, vocal ornamentations??? and that his voice is strained, but it was still beautiful. Take care of your voice now though, dude, jfc. Thanks for the sacrifice, much appreciated, but TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF OR SO HELP ME GOD I WILL FUCKING FIND YOU- (kidding, kidding. or am i.) I also liked that he was leaving the more screamy moments in songs for us. Aiming the microphone at us, positive we'll have his back. Like yeah, yeah, other bands do that relatively often, but it's not something they usually do, you know.

I can't vouch for everyone in the crowd, but I sure as fuck did not have a SINGLE thought that the show sucks because of his voice issues. Like it didn't even occur to me. Honest to god. I was shocked when I saw on tumblr that people were leaving? Asking for a refund????????????? I was having the time of my life singing those songs. It was a once-in-a-lifetime experience, probably!! Who can say they karaoked whole 3 songs with the band playing for them live?? Your local karaoke bar could never. (Bonus points, you could hear Espera better bc of that! Yes, I know, you are not supposed to hear backing vocals too loud in general, I'm just saying it was nice hearing them, bc usually I hear them on recordings only.)

Yeah, sure I was disappointed after the show that there was no Euclid, but that's just me, a total whore for Euclid. It's a completely different thing than being a bitch who leaves halfway, because something out of the ordinary has been happening.

Anyways. I would like to wish all the crowdsurfers a very fuck you. Hope you will all step on a lego every day for the rest of your lives <3

Crowdsurfers and constant giving away of water (which I understand, it was terribly hot there and it was needed) were a bit distracting, I missed some things because of the commotion, the drum solo has been disrupted by me getting a (fortunately very light) kick in the mouth and DRUM SOLO IS SACRED. I HOPE THE CROWDSURFER WHO DECIDED TO GO UP IN THAT MOMENT WILL STEP ON 3 LEGOS DAILY. IT'S LITERALLY THE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF THE RITUAL FOR ME AND THEY HAVE RUINED IT. Thanks to another crowdsurfer, I missed the moment the band was throwing stuff into the crowd and I promised Lia I will catch a pick/drumstick for them!!!!!!! I've had a banner for this occassion and all!!!!! And!!!!! For the whole time things were flying from the scene!!!! I have been under someone's legs and ass!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Side note: Vessel was throwing away his rings. That's so fucking cool, ahh.

All in all, half of the things that happened there, I've learned from tumblr. The announcements about the recording, people leaving, Vessel being covered in runes (I WAS STANDING RIGHT BEFORE HIM AND DIDN'T SEE ANYTHING. A N Y T H I N G. I HATE BEING A BLIND IDIOT), the Espera ladies laughing at iii for not coming to the photo, hell, even Vessel trying to get his attention. I have NO idea what I've been doing back then, it's a blur again lmao. And. The most important thing: Vessel's "thank you". I didn't catch it back then. I don't hear it on my recording. Tbh I couldn't believe y'all for a long while that it really happened (I'm sorry). But it did and you know what? I'm glad the broken pieces of my heart were left on the arena's floor earlier during the show. I don't want them anymore.

I would also like to thank that one security guy in huge headphones who was our warning that another fucking crowdsurfer was coming our way. I hope the headphones guy's pillow is always cold on both sides, his skin clear, his crops- and so on. Our hero <3

There was also a moment during Atlantic (another important moment disrupted. Smh) where 2 security persons dived into the crowd?? I still have no idea what was happening, bc if someone faints for example, they are always brught to the barricade by the crowd and security picks them up, I've never seen security getting into the crowd before. And because of that, people around me were talking loudly during Atlantic. Kill kill murder kill

Still, Projekt Atlantic was a huge success and I am so proud of the organisers!! They're in the same category of lovely people as the big headphones security guy

Sending a kiss to @murderofcrow for this gif 🖤

To sum up. I will forever be grateful for this band. This music has activated the dormant parts of my mind. I am making art again. I am meeting cool people because of them. I have people to talk about it with who are as excited about it as I am. For the first time in ages I really feel alive again. And life is not good, far from it, to be completely honest with you, they haven't magically fixed all my problems, but I do have something that actually fucking works on me. I know Vessel wouldn't agree, but they are saving people. And you all, lovely ST pocket of tumblr motherfuckers who are reading this, you are saving people too.

And, last but not least!! In hot pink, because I can! Thanks to this ritual I could finally meet @vesselsscarlet and @thevenomousseprent in person!!!!!!!!! I love you guys, you are amazing and I can't wait to see you again 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 You've made me feel so loved that weekend and it's something I haven't felt in a while!!

[iwanthermidnightz]

As usual, I’m gonna share the parts of this article that resonate with me (pretty much all of it). Several points were made. And the unapologetic queer visibility makes me so proud. Please give it a read 🥲

LD: I also do want to say, even though there is a bunch of awesome overlap with the trans community and the drag community, transness and drag are separate things — but that's the reason why we did it [in Tennessee], is because those things are being conflated here.

It's crazy that we were on tour for all of Pride Month and being pretty f*cking gay, and talking about gay rights on stage. You’d think that the circles that we run in would be like, yeah, cool, but I feel like there is still… Prejudice towards gay people comes from all sides, including gay people.

I have, you know, rolled my eyes at certain aspects of Pride, just the corporate aspect of things. We were hanging out with a friend who was like, yeah, the gas station has a pride flag, but I'm still getting looked at funny in the streets; what is Pride actually doing?

JB: Shell Oil Company is like, happy pride! Like, okay.

LD: It's weird, the more comfortable I am, the more opposition I feel from other people who are discontent with how I qualify as a gay person. I'm like, Do you need a sex tape?

PB: As someone who doesn't qualify as gay, I can't participate in this conversation. I haven't sent in enough chips to corporate. [laughs]

I speak for all of us [when I say] I feel like our communities are so supportive, like f*cking rainbows and buttercups all the time. We're really good at making friends and we have so much support around each of us, and so much privilege, and each live in an accepting place and choose accepting people to be around. But when I or Lucy get hate for not turning in our like, gay paperwork, all I'm thinking is about the way that I would have felt at f*cking age 11 being like, Oh, I'm not allowed to do that. This famous person is being humiliated for expressing themselves, and so I should not, I especially should not express myself.

JB: I don't get as much hate because people are like, there goes a lesbian. You know what I mean? [All laugh.]

LD: It’s really binary.

JB: I've spent a lot of my life being a masc dressing queer person, or just not engaging with gender play at all. It’s like, queer people saying that you have to acquiesce to one of three queer archetypes, or one of a handful of queer archetypes in order to be represented.

LD: That's why our shows are so special to me is that they are very gay. People are throwing flags at us, young people are making out in front of us, it is a space that is precious to me and would have changed my life if I could have been a part of it when I was younger. I'm extremely proud, and I just implicitly love everybody at our shows at a base level. I think we all do. The reason we're doing it is because we care abstractly about all these strangers and want for them what we could have had. Also we're coming from a position where we're talking to a bunch of young people, we do get to put messages worth hearing out there, I think that's not lost on us.

PB: I am mostly proud of the way that I watch the discourse [play out], and I'm proud of the conclusions that these children are coming to. Everybody is sticking up for us and each other and there's just a couple weirdos that are very loud. I think our community is being protected by the people in it. And it is such a safe space show, and I'm so fucking proud. Even the amount of femme people in the audience, screaming at the top of their lungs and having to take up a high octave... It’s a different rock show than I've ever experienced. It’s amazing to me.

JB: The microphone I have with y'all, the reach is wider, it just factually is, and I think a lot about responsibility to hear [others’ opinions…] To be the subject of discourse at all is to live a question into the world, so I will allow myself to do that. I will allow a little bit of my identity — which as a queer person, I've been at once defensive of and fiercely protective of and encouraged to erase completely — I'm like, okay, so I have to exist with this identity subsumed into the culture, into the topic of someone's conjecture. Because it's going to be one case study. That's the whole idea of visibility, visibility doesn't have to be perfect representation.

I was thinking about this too, something that bugged me was that meme that was the talent and popularity graph and it was popularity way above talent, and they were like, “This is boygenius.” You're missing the damn point. [If only the most talented people got to speak,] Steve Vai would be speaking for all f*cking musicians because he's best at guitar. That's not what I want.

PB: But again, that is just Twitter. I think we are as beloved as is possible for any public, femme presenting, or queer, in public. I think we just get an amount of hate because we're stepping on guitar guys. It is fucking dumb, and it is just what is happening. Every time I look at a Pitchfork post of us, it's the most incel f*cking shit ever in the comments section.

JB: I was telling Lucy, I feel like if someone made that meme about me, Julien Baker, on a solo headlining tour, I would be up at four in the morning in the back lounge of the bus running scales. With y'all, I'm like, You're missing the point you dumbass. It's like Kathleen Hanna being like, the Sex Pistols are bad at their instruments. Why can I not just have a band that's fun and cool and angry?

LD: I wanna say, we're a little fed up, obviously, with some things, but I agree with you, Phoebe, the biggest sentence I have to say is we're having so much fun. That is the message that I think people are mostly getting, and the one that I want them to get, is that we are happy and having fun, and that is not frivolous at all. Fun is essential.

PB: Everybody knows every word to the entire set. We sell thousands of tickets. It is going as good as humanly possible. It is insane.

LD: And it's because we feel safe and supportive that we can mostly safely and supportively do drag in Tennessee. It's because we have such a solid foundation of joy we can be in defense of other people's joy, in ways that feel really valuable to me personally, and I hope valuable to other people.

JB: The whole reason why I feel comfortable engaging with this at all and it's not an existential crisis for me is because, what you're saying, Lucy: I have a foundation of joy that makes me convicted that this is important, not frivolous, highly worthy, highly valuable. So when I see us as the subject of discourse I'm interacting with it in a different way that I don't think I'd be able to [alone]. I wonder if kids watching that in third person happen will also be resilient to the same kind of things.

PB: You’re allowed to be bad at guitar, anybody reading this.

LD: I’m bad at guitar.

PB: Other shit, you do have to work so hard. And you have to love it. If you love playing guitar and you're bad at guitar, that rocks.

TV: What other moments would you highlight? I feel like there’s been a lot of good ones, like the t-shirt selling out.

PB: Love, love to just have the power to snap my fingers and mobilize people to give their money away to a cause. That is the best part of my job.

JB: It’s participation. It’s visibility. It's you, outward signaling something you believe in as a principle. It's also literally redistributing funds to us to organizers, nonprofits and legislators that are trying to make the world a better place. And we get to be in charge of that, and also give somebody a gift that's like, you're a country queer! We see you.

TV: Did you expect the fans to be so young this tour? I’ve been really impressed!

LD: It's interesting, I think Julien was saying this, being something through which some kids are learning some stuff. I usually am really upset when I'm misunderstood, but I think that part of that happening now is people on their way to understanding something that I think is important and outside of me, that we are just a case study for, and that is just a really sweet and special position to be in.

JB: This really gets to me, I'll see a group of friends all hugging during our set, a collection of songs about grieving and leaning on your friends. I'll be like, What did y'all go through? Something f*cking horrible.

I think about this with the credibility or the legitimacy of music, like with the whole Pitchfork incel guy, it goes back to that. I'm like, dude, I love that a bunch of kids are at our show. I've said it once, I'll say it again: I took a class in young adult literature. And I was like, wow, this is maybe the most important kind of literature. Paradise Lost is for people who think that their brain is big, young adult literature is for f*cking people who don't know what literature is yet — they need a window, they need a door. They need a pass. Phoebe you were saying, like, music that not-adult cis white guys like.

LD: Those guys are showing up too, and good for them. And if they're the ones that are mad about this, maybe they're on their path of understanding something better, too.

JB: I cry at all the kids, man.

PB: Me too.

JB: My mom texted me and was like, I would have died if there was something like y'all when I was a kid — and I don't even think she gets some stuff we're saying.

PB: It's funny to [realize] I would have bleached my hair and wanted to be me.

JB: Dude, it's so f*cking sick. I think about me at 16 — I was trying to be a hardcore guy, I wanted to get tattoos, I wanted to play guitar in a band. And then I just turned out… me. I used to try to make my hair look like k.d. Lang; I wonder if we're a thing people realize they can look like.

LD: Also, I think being affectionate on stage has been really fun and sweet, and it exhibits behavior that I think is healthy and good. That's another element of it that I think is good to show kids, the way that I think drag is actively good for kids to interact with, because it's this fun way to interact with gender and to explain things like that early to children is really awesome. Just being able to gaily and affectionately kiss your bros, that's a principle that I value, that I wish was more valued for kids. Not saying like, kids gotta go all make out!

I'm proud of the space we're taking up. I think we're using it in ways I'll be able to stand behind when I get older.

PB: There's also such a deep, both fetishizing and desexualizing of lesbians, in a way that I think is ridiculous. Obviously MUNA is standing staunchly against that as well, by being a f*cking boyband. It's just fun to be like, it's not that serious — and it also is deeply meaningful.

[nopointic]

crying again out of happiness for megan because she's been through so much. so much. and i know i'm older than her by a few years but i look up to her. i really do. and i've been though shit myself and i always just quit my job after reporting the abuse, because every time i would report, a black woman in power would defend the black man i reported that did the abuse. and use their connections to the christian church to do it.

and i read that the parents of fucker that shot megan were in the court room screaming about the system being wicked and unjust because their son was convicted of shooting megan.

and i need y'all to understand that happens more often than you'd think. and people are so quick to say oh someone's mommy and daddy got them off and that's why white boys don't get in trouble for breaking the law, and i need y'all to know that ALL races do that.

i've seen it. i've cried with other girls who are not my race (i'm black) that have seen it with their own eyes.

it's a problem. too many nonwhite people keep saying it's not fair that their nonwhite sons are being punished for crimes because white people aren't. and that's not how ANYTHING should work.

i want ALL people who commit crimes against others to be held accountable for their actions. that include people with my own skin color. and it sickens me to my fucking CORE that i have to say that. that anyone has to say that.

it's heartbreaking being a black woman and hearing your community say well the white guy didn't get in trouble, so why should our black men get in trouble. they have it hard enough.

that is fucking sick on so many levels.

i pray every day for megan and all of us who have suffered abuse and harm from men in our own communities. i pray that we all heal and get justice one day.

and i pray for our journey towards healing be safe.

please stand up for black women. please stand up for women. this includes trans women because i know how y'all work on social media and i fucking REFUSE to leave out my girls who are like, girls. like i hate i have to add this at the end of posts i write because so many are like "ahh not those TRANS" and i'm like... you're a fucking idiot because i said women. and that included people who identify as women you fucking moron.

anyways thank you megan for not allowing the hate to get you down. and i hate that we've both wanted to die after being abused by men in our communities because our community chose to protect the abuser over believing us.

may the goddesses always protect you megan and may you find peace here on this earth now even though we don't know what we're up against especially as black women, and know you're so loved by so many of us. from the bottom of my heart, i am so proud of you and you give so many of us courage to keep speaking out, even through tears.

thank you. <3

[all444miles]

songs that remind me of atsv characters! (series)

summary: just me saying what artists atsv characters would listen to, songs by said artists that js scream "(character)", albums, and lyrics that just make it make sense, yk?

warnings: pretty small spoilers, i suggest you watch the movie before reading this, of course!

a/n: i'm not proofreading this, so there might be some spelling mistakes. sorry if you see any, but enjoy! i also don't expect this to blow up, but reblogs r appreciated! (i will make a pt.2 if this gets enough attention, btw)

miles morales (1610)

miles to me seems like a future, frank ocean, kendrick lamar, steve lacy, PARTYNEXTDOOR, brent faiyaz/sonder and a lil sza, cuz lets be fr, its sza, kinda guy. he's the kinda guy to love music for the meaning, as long as its got a good beat to it. now, song wise?

solo by future, for sure. you can just listen to it and be like "yeah, thats miles." especially the lyrics, "i been solo now, i've been goin solo now". reminds me when he says "nah, ima do my own thing" in the movie.

her way by partynextdoor. this song feels like a song he'd play while he's drawing (coughs, drawing gwen for the 70th time) the lyrics, "She wasn't on a roll, now she roll with a winner" reminds me of gwen n miles cuz at first, when they met, it was kind of just the two of em, but now she's out with the spider society (well, she was) with hobie and patvir, "rollin with winners."

miles + brent faiyaz = perfection. needed portrays miles when he finds out about his friends' betrayal perfectly. "you and your friends, rammed my name to the ground." makes you think about the scene where he realises they knew what would happen to his father all along.

infrunami by steve lacy. ive seen this on tiktok too many dayum times not to include it lmaoo gwen and miles. every word of that song screams gwen and miles, but esp "can you come back to me? cuz I was blind to see that you were right infront of me." just remember that scene where miles was upside down infront of gwen and moved closer to kiss her but didnt cuz he was invisible? yeah, those exact lyrics match that exact moment and we ALL know it!

Let 'em know by bryson tiller. Ian even gonna go into the details but we all know why. "mf im him" (miles is him and always will be fr)

long time - intro by playboi carti. i also will try not to go tm into details but "i aint felt like this in a long time, i aint had shit in a long time" cuz miles hasn't had that "its me, myself and i (corny ik)" kind of vibe in a while. and "i'd rather die before i come in last" but think of it in a sense than he'd rather die than stand back and let his dad pass.

this is how it feels by d4vd and laufey. no explanation needed (ive js been talking tm), gwen and miles and their relationship

open arms by sza! i also think this song really reminds me of gwen and miles but miles' character overall, yk? gwen and miles primarily because "i gotta let you go i must, you're the only one that's holding me down." that "goodbye gwen", the look on his face while he says it and those lyrics make alot of sense together.

and yk what? loveeeeee song by rihanna, cuz why not.

i'm not gonna go too much into details with this so album wise:

sonder son by brent faiyaz

sos (slightly) by sza

starboy and after hours by the weeknd

DAMN. by kendrick lamar

petals to thorns by d4vd

call me if you get lost by tyler, the creator

her loss (coughs, spin bout U) by drake

a/n 2: and, thats all! i hope y'all enjoyed these hcs and found them accurate, as i said ill make a pt2 if this gets enough recognition! see ya'll soon <3

©all444miles 2023

- likes, comments, asks, n reblogs are rlly appreciated ! <3

[romanstheory]

I'm The One a Jey Uso Fic Part 6/?

Warnings: Violence, Language, arguing

Word Count: 1,013

Last Part

18 +

We land at our next destination, still high on our steamy session hours before. We exit the plane and immediately head to the arena. "I'll catch up with y'all, I got some bidness to handle" Jimmy says gesturing away from us. Jey and I walks hand in hand down the hall to catering. Everyone seems to be staring, but neither of us really cared. I've never been this public with a relationship, especially at work. It felt right, like everything happened in perfect timing.

Solo walks passed, seeing us holding hands. His eyes look down at our hands then dart up at us. You could almost see the steam coming from his ears. His brown skin tinted red now he grits his teeth and quickly walks the other direction, punching a nearby piece of equipment. He muttered what I assume to be curse words to himself while he storms away like an angry child. The sound startled everyone in the room, it was loud and abrupt. "I guess he's still pissed he took that L" Jey says cackling. Everyone else in the room chuckles.

I swallow loudly and fake chuckle along with everyone else..... My appetite is gone. "You good?" Jey asks me, noticing how unsettled I am. "Yeah..... Yeah I'm fine" I say "That was just a lot". Jey brushes it off and continues eating his food. I pick at my food and twiddle my thumbs until he finishes his food. The clock is ticking.... Almost show time. I'm still put off by the incident earlier while Jey and I stretch together. "You sure you're good, you haven't said much since earlier. Did I do something?" Jey asks concerned. "No you didn't do anything, I'm just in my head a lot. It'll be fine" I say dismissing his concerns.

Solo walks by again, my body tenses up. He stares a hole through me. "What the fuck are you staring at uce?" Jey says bucking up at his younger brother. "Yall together now?" Solo says unfazed by his older brothers antics. "Yeah and what?" Jey replies quickly. For the first time in my life, i'm stuck.... I have nothing to say. My entire life with Jey is in Solo's hands right now. "Please... PLEASE" I say to myself while I stare at Solo straight faced.

Solo frowns and nods his head, looking at me and then Jey. "Cool" He says looking at me once again, hatred and sadness fill his eyes. Jey's music begins to play and he grabs my hand to pull me through the curtain with him. Solo's eyes stay locked on mine, his arms folded and my body full of anxiety. We do our segment, the crowd loved every second of it. For a little while I forgot about what just happened. I pull the curtain back, and there Solo is..... Waiting. "Uce why are you still here?" Jey says in a hostile tone.

"I was gonna spare you, but why would I? She didn't spare me" Solo says. Jey looks at me confused and then back at Solo. "Joseph..." I say. "I don't wanna hear that shit tell him why we really stopped being tag partners" Solo barks. "What the fuck is he talking about?" Jey asks me, getting angry. I am once again speechless, a feeling I deeply despise. "You like that little heart tattoo between her titties?" Solo says with no emotion. Jey is infuriated "Tell me why the fuck he knows that!" Jey screams. "Her ass is soft huh? That was my favorite part" He continues.

"You better shut the fuck up before I break your fucking jaw" Jey screams louder than I ever thought possible. "It was one time!" I scream "We were drunk Jey it was one time". Solo and I got drunk one night, and we had sex. I regretted it once I sobered up, but Solo caught feelings. I told him I didn't feel anything for him, he screwed me over, and here we are now. My stomach sank over the thought that Jey may want nothing else to do with me.

"It was a drunk mistake Jey I swear" I plead "He thought it would turn into something that I told him never would and then he turned on me in the ring". Jey quickly gets in Solo's face. "She played me" Solo says "But that pussy feels good". Jey swings on Solo knocking him to the floor, attracting even more attention onto us. Jimmy comes running in and he and I pull them apart. "What the hell is goin on here?" Jimmy says holding Solo's hands behind his back.

"He took her!" Solo screams. "Man fuck you!" Jey screams while I hold him back. "You're delusional Joseph" I scream back at him. "You had me fooled bitch the way you fucked me I would have thought you loved me" Solo barks. Jey breaks from my grip and rushes toward Solo punching him right in his face. Jimmy lets go of him and he falls to the ground. Jey mounts Solo, punching him over and over again ruthlessly. Jimmy tries to pull Jey away but isn't successful. Solo pushes Jey off and they exchange blows before finally being pulled apart.

"I'm not the fucking villain!" Solo yells while he's being pulled down the hall. "Baby.." I say softly to Jey "I don't wanna talk right now" Jey says pulling away from me and walking away leaving Jimmy and I in the hallway alone in silence. "What was that about?" Jimmy asks. "He found out about the Solo thing" I reply softly. Jimmy sighs heavily.... He already knew the situation but promised he wouldn't say anything as long as I swore it was just a drunk moment. It was...... I have no feelings for Solo.... But apparently he couldn't say the same. "I hope that didn't just ruin everything" I say on the verge of tears. "Nah.... He's crazy about you. He would have just walked away if that was going to ruin it". I hope he's right.... Jimmy is always right....

[littlelesbinonny]

interesting how you do not seem to support any other artist or blog other content other than your own but are you shocked your story isn’t that good or popular. Maybe if you followed others back who follow you or promoted other artists people might be willing to do the same.

cute! my first anon hate! 💜

tbh I wasn't even going to respond to this bc I find anon!hate dreadfully boring and exhausting, and I don't need to explain or defend myself to literally anyone, especially online (plus giving you the desperate need of attention you seek is So Tedious) - BUT since exhaustion is at the forefront of my entire existence recently, I figured what the hell, let the audhd verbal vomit fly! and I do actually wanna address some things 🙃😘

Firstly - I have spoken to 3, count em 3, other authors in this fandom (y'all know who you are and I adore each one of you so much) and only like 2 fans. Never, not once, have I Ever made a comment about being shocked my story isn't good or popular???? ?? ??????????? so with that said, Please, indulge me further with things about me that I didn't know - I'm fascinated! I've been an artist my whole life. I give Zero fucks if people do or don't like my art, whatever it may be. I don't expect or require Anyone to reblog or interact with my shit - ever! It is here If You Want It. your online experience is Your Own.

Secondly - this is a side blog. I cannot follow people back from this blog. this account was initially created for one thing and one thing only upon request of a few fans from AO3 and that was for backup. that's it. BUT! you do make a valid point! now that I've gotten to know and interact and see more authors and such here - I Should create a second and real account so I can follow and support their work outside of AO3! it has crossed my mind plenty. And when I have time and the bandwidth, you bet your ass I will be doing so!

Which leads me to point Three - you don't know a goddamn motherfucking thing about me. and if you do, meaning we have spoken and interacted, and this is how you choose to approach this subject? Mm. bummer. this anon!hate screams your projection of your own bullshit loud and clear. to which I really could not care less. I'm 34 fucking years old my guy my dude. I have a full-time and a side job. I have a family, a very large one. I am exceptionally busy. I'm not online constantly.

Lastly - to everyone who does follow me and show me support here, know that I love you all. I appreciate you all. And yes, all you talented AF writers and Alcina artists, I see you 💜 I know it appears I may be silent in my support for you, but give me time to repay the full love and favors.

[thewritingofspencerrose]

M.Hughes Masterlist

Goodbyes Are Never Easy

"I didn't think seeing this place empty would make me so sad."

There's not much about everything lately that has felt how I expected it to. Every happy moment has held a tinge of sadness.

Who decided growing up was a good idea?

But it feels less daunting when he wraps his arms around my waist, lips meeting my cheek.

"Doing okay, Baby?" He knows the answer.

"Yeah, I'll be okay," Trev's arms tighten around me, giving me just a little squeeze. I can't help but look up to meet his eyes, everything about them screaming joy.

He's too golden retriever to be able to hide his joy on what my empty college apartment means.

"I know it won't entirely help, but Jimmy already has everything set for that movie night he promised you."

"And he's sure he's okay with me moving in?"

Now that's just earned a laugh, large hands gripping my hips and turning my body to face his own.

"Jamie could not be more excited for you to be living with us. Or for your new job, or for us to be taking this step. I think you underestimate just how much he adores you."

"As he should," Luke's voice announces his arrival, head of curls peaking into the doorway. "If you're going to be stealing my sister then y'all better understand that you need to appreciate her."

My sweet, protective, little brother.

"Lu, you don't need to continue lecturing Trev, he's been hearing it from Quinn for years," but his body is already moving into the empty room, Jack not far behind with my empty key ring in hand.

He's handing it to me before I've properly prepared myself for what this means.

The keys been turned in. It's time to go.

Jack's hand clasps around mine, pulling me into a hug and away from Trevor.

"If you've changed your mind-"

"Jack," my voice is soft, but he knows I'm serious. "I want to move in with Trev. I want to start this new chapter."

And a part of him must have been hoping I'd suddenly change my mind. Best friends with Trevor or not, this will be the farthest we will have ever been from one another.

We shared a womb, being apart isn't something we take to naturally.

"Stop it, she's happy," Luke is scolding, as if he isn't the youngest of us all. "At least she was, before you opened your big mouth," He's the next to pull me into a hug, my once little brother now far taller than any of us.

And it makes me smile, seeing how much he's grown.

"Okay," I hum, pulling away, wiping away the tears that had pooled on the lines of my eyes. "You guys can't do this to me right now, it's hard enough leaving you both, I don't need you laying it on thick."

Both boys share a look, Trevor shifting my purse from one shoulder to the other as he pulls me under his arm.

"We're proud of you, is all," Jack offers, "And we know you're in good hands, so we feel comfortable messing with you."

Oh my boys.

"Aww you trust me with your sister? I don't think I've ever heard that from you before," Trevor's voice is mocking, earning a pinch to his side as Jack rolls his eyes, Luke chuckling.

"Trev! That was a sweet moment! We've talked about this!"

He just smiles, pecking the top of my head and pulling me taught, "I know, I'm working on it baby, just for you."

"Just for you," my brothers mock, making kissy noises at one another.

Eyes rolling, I check my watch, heart sinking at the time.

"It's time to go," And the room is dim, no longer light with laughter.

"You're growing up, we all are." Is that really Luke's best attempt at comforting me?

"Shut up, Luke."

liked by trevorzegras, jackhughes, and 638 more

maggie.hughes to the post-game milkshakes, to the adventures in the city, to the pre-game rituals. thank you to this city and team for giving us the ability to have just a few more years together. goodbyes are never easy, but i'd rather it be me who moves than either of you. love you long time lukey & jack 🫶

lhughes06 no one said you were allowed to leave (us as crying messes)

jackhughes if trevor doesn't look after you right i'll be on the first flight to get you (we love you sis, enjoy the west coast)

maggie.hughes if you don't look after lukie right i'll be on the first flight!

jackhughes lhughes06 prepare to be mismanaged

lhughes06 jackhughes dude wtf??