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organic-guacamole · 3 years

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episode 209 spoilers below

I'm so late today but here it is

I love EJ, he's finally learning to be happy. I'm so proud.

Ms Jenn = every boomer during zoom calls, like jeez yes we can hear you stop shouting at me.

LOVE THE SUBTLE JOKE ABOUT QUARANTINE "these dark times" "you mean spring break?"

ah yes, remember when we thought covid was just gonna give us a longer spring break? good times

SEBLOS

damn the passive aggressiveness from Carlos and the absolutely over it tone from seb✋

CASWELL COUSINS!!!!! THEY'RE THE BEST!!!!

we needed more if this kind of goofiness for the first part of season 2 that only such an iconic duo can provide.

old old movies-

is it even that old, or is Nini being a gen alpha rn-

i choose to imagine EJ being scared of the movie and hiding in Ashlyn's shoulder while she keeps a straight face and then EJ pretending to be tough afterwards

aww redlyn are soulmates.... yknow, if gingers had souls

(please ignore me)

y'all saw how EJ's face *lit up* when Gina logged on? how dare you tell me he doesn't like her

ofc she's no damsel in distress, she's Gina porter, she's amazing.

so do we think she'd be the type to just glare at suspicious people? or bark at them

do they not know that Rini broke up? or is Ms Jenn just wanting Nini to suffer through her heartbreak to make her a better actress....

speaking of, why is Nini in the call? she's not in the show anymore. Unless she is, even after the rose and the song got cut, which would be so unfair to all those that auditioned properly before she even came back but whatever, she's the main character I get it 🙄

big red is a hero honestly, Nini better thank him for changing the subject like that

I can't-

i won't work you over the break-

this woman would 100% work her kids 24/7 if it was legal and idk how to feel about it.

YES GINA USE THAT CHARM

QUEEN

FRENCH QUEEN

SHE LEARNT FROM THE BEST (antoine obvi)

smh the airport lady, eavesdropping on Gina's call.

The way she was so happy to answer EJ's call, "eej"

I love them your honour.

EJ WITH PAINTED NAILS YES PLEASE

great now we need to see Gina, Ashlyn and EJ having a complete spa day and EJ getting really into it and Gina and Ashlyn take pictures of him when he's laying down in a robe with a mask and cucumbers on his eyes.

finally we get to see Gina's side of portwell

the way she considered it as flirting, this is the sign she asked for in episode 6 come onnnnn

no is Asher/jack really doing tiktok dances in an airport-

Ricky is me. I am burrito.

oh Lynne, sweetie, I'm sorry but the blonde hair is not it

is that even the same lady or-

THE BEAN

THE CHICAGO BEAN

THE BIG OLD METAL BEAN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CITY 😭

jetlag is my go to excuse for anything... I haven't travelled in 2 years.

"welcome to the Lynne and Mike gossip show. where we talk about our depressed son that we both neglect in certain ways! And now a word from our sponsor, Nord VPN..."

SO MANY CANDLES

WHAT DEMON IS LYNNE TRYING TO SUMMON IN HIS ROOM-

is Nina becoming social media obsessed EJ from season 1? AND SHE LIED ABOUT HAVING SONGS TOO PLEASE WHY ARW THEY RECYCLING THE SAME PLOT-

Gina smiling at the picture of her family on Instagram makes me so happy, idek why.

EJ's nails are so pretty, we needed to see it more (unless he had it on for the rest of the episode and I just.... didn't notice🧍🏽‍♀️)

oh not the tiktok kid✋

yes ma'am end this strange mans whole tiktok career

sir take a hint and leave

GINA NO DONT SAY YOUR LAST NAME HE COULD BE A HUMAN TRAFFICKER

Ricky, walking in style✨

weird kid, ok then Lynne, can't you see he's this close to the edge?

not all your fault baby Ricky, Nini sucks a bit more

RICKY YOU DIDN'T COME DOWN HARD ON THE SONG-

YOU ASKED WHAT IT WAS ABOUT AND SHE SHUT YOU DOWN-

PLEASE DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF

ok but the deleting comment thing was very bad

still don't know if I like Jack honestly

hmmm so Nini's calling herself Nini instead of Nina in her little egg seat, while trying to write a song without inspiration.... Nini, honey, Ricky was your muse, he inspired you to write all those songs, even if it wasn't good for the relationship.

that doesn't mean you gotta get back with him, or that you can't write a song that not about him butttt it'll take some time

the rainbow sticker in her box and her rainbow shirt-

anyways wbk she's not totally straight

Jack are you a criminal?

quick, Gina, check his ankle for a tracker

THE YES AND PRACTICE STRIKES AGAIN

the way Gina wasn't into it in episode 6 but she's used the technique twice now

stole her grandma's Pomeranian-

Jack where the hell did you pull that out from-

the fake crying killed me, that looks like so much fun though

anyone wanna raid a first class lounge with me?

wait so is jack not gonna go in with her?

wouldn't he go in too? help look for the credit card? SO CONFUSED

the first class lounge guy was so into the drama though, watch his face when they start arguing 😭

sorry to break this to you Kourtney, but you haven't even blocked the second act yet soooo...

take that as you will

I love how all of them are totally dissing the dance off

that's the most realistic part of this show tbh

shouldn't Nini have asked how she knew....since the start? why is the fact that her best friend has knowledge of a North high secret now dawning on her...

Howie is sweet honestly, at least he's trying to help. but I stand with Kourtney, don't take him back just because he sang an amazing song, and is giving you a heads up on what's gonna happen...

KOURTNEY IS ME TRYING TO LEAVE AN ONLINE CLASS

I hate school

ooo Nini's writing a song about bad internet connection 🤩🤩🤩

I never lie, except when I do-

son that is the creepiest thing you could say to a stranger that you've been "helping"

2 truths and a lie👀

he's an Ariana fan 100%

called it.

OLDER BROTHER-

WHAT-

free spirit? damn so brother porter was in that horse movie

so has she been kissed or not?????????

I feel like she's moved more than 15 times though so possibly

but then if she's moved so much, and before east high she never opened up to anyone, she's never been kissed then?? damn

same though Gina so let's be besties please

heartbreak president is a great song title idea, give Nini a call rn

but wait

is the no strings attached feeling thing about her telling Ricky she liked him? she thought she was moving away so she thought it'd be no strings attached???

guys I think I figured it out insert the "I've connected two dots" meme

THE DUKE SWEATSHIRT

IS THAT YOUR BOYFRIEND'S

OMG I LOVE I LOVE

NOT THAT I KNOW OF???

ma'am did you just kill me

yes you did

Lynne and Ricky have such a weird relationship

YES IT DID SUCK

TODD SUCKS

LYNNE SUCKS

yeah I get that you wanted Ricky to like Todd BUT THAT WASN'T THE TIME

right so we already know that Ricky was so desperate to keep Nini cuz he didn't want to be like his parents, and now Lynne's talking about this-

Richard needs a long hug

yes Lynne, it is your fault. thank you for finally admitting it.

YES DYE YOUR HAIR

BLOND HIGHLIGHTS RICKY WILL RISE AGAIN

"sometimes the best, last thing you can do for someone you love, is let them go."

gotta admit I teared up at that point

not me thinking big red was calling ms Jenn cupcake for a hot second-

Carlos please omg, you're at the "beach" and they're leaving for the pool?

also, why not just do the call from the hotel room please omg

"don't ask me"

"Carlos"

OMG WHAT HAPPENED

big red wants the tea

O M G

SEB IS JEALOUS

JEALOUS SEBBY IS MY FAVOURITE THING IDC

I'm surprised ms Jenn knew how to give Nini permission to screenshare tbh

So lily's been stalking the East high kids and spending time editing this video while she's supposedly in an immersion trip.... right

EJ and Ashlyn's picture is so chaotic, what even is happening there

"slacking off" bestie its spring break, obviously they're confident enough that they'll get it done in time so why not focus on your own musical.

jealous seb = sassy seb

please what if those guys Carlos is posing with are his cousins or something and that's why he's so confused about Seb

6 YEAR OLD EJ I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM

Nini saying she's obsessed with her ex, that's not weird at all 👍

I can just tell Matt had a blast harassing Julia with those puppets.

Jack please dont be like that, "yet"

chances are you'll never see eachother again 🥰

(honestly sometimes I really miss those friends I made on trips and stuff when we'd spend the day or week together, only to never see them again....those were the good days though)

Ashlyn and Nini should write more songs..... something better than this one at least

Nini: "im good"

cue the Tia Mowry (please I can't spell) crying gif

oh I forgot Ricky was in the show for a hot second

1. where did Gina get to film this without people being around

2. did she just... randomly change her clothes???

ok but the transition between Carlos and EJ

*chefs kiss*

now everyone shut up, EJ's singing

oh i think I'm pregnant

HIS MUSCLES

YES KOURTNEY

I love how big red and Kourtney went from being "the best friends™" to the couple in season 1, to kinda close themselves and having their own plots

sebby makes me so happy

props to biggies editing skills honestly

PORTWELL BEING SIDE TO SIDE I CANT

AND SEBLOS OMG

big red lives for the drama

"wow" so true Ricky

no he is not cute, stop it

"holding" ok that's kinda cute

yeah EJ's a lucky guy😌

jokes aside, it's not that hard to exchange numbers-

keep in touch if you want

ok I really like Jack now

if he comes back in season 3, maybe have him be LGBTQ+ ?

like the only out characters they have rn are Seb and Carlos and they're like the sterotypes, yk?

I'd love to see jack kinda break the mold

Ricky's breaking my heart

that song just hurts

the only thing

now I don't hate Lynne????????

HOW DARE THEY WRITE IN A PROPER REDEMPTION ARC FOR HER

UGH IM SUPPOSED TO HATE HER FOREVER

I mean I don't live her now but she's good

but honestly

"mom can I show you something"

IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL

THE PICTURE AND EVERYTHING OMG

I'm sobbing please help

Gina saying she's just waiting for the right guy and then EJ coming to the airport to pick her up late at night without her asking, offering to bring her back in the morning so she won't have to Uber, bringing her a granola bar (WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT SHE FORGOT TO PACK) and without expecting anything in return???

ms ma'am you've got a keeper right there

her smile at the end was so heartwarming I really can't.

this episode was great.

it felt really short but I liked it, great character development for Ricky, Lynne and Gina.

Cant wait for next episode to see more of EJ being the ideal boyfriend /hj

#hsmtmts #hsmtmts s2 #hsmtmts season 2 #hsmtmts spoilers #ej caswell #ricky bowen #gina porter #seblos #nini salazar roberts #jack hsmtmts #carlos rodriguez #seb mathew smith #kourtney greene #big red #ashlyn caswell #caswell cousins #portwell will be the death of me #guac's episode text blocks :)

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mytwitterisdogtoast1 · 4 years

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Kingdom Hearts 3 broke my heart.

I am a fan of Kingdom Hearts. i've been here through the first game and even though I grew up without the money to play every game I stuck with the series as best I could. In fact I've bought multiple copies of games on multiple systems and beat a couple of the games not just once but 3 or more times. Here is a list of the things I've done involving this series.

1: I bought KH1/2/COM on more than one system such as ps2,3, and 4. 2: I've played and beaten on the hardest difficulty on each main installment (except critical mode of 3) 3: I have 100% KH1 which might not seem like a big deal but it is the only game I have 100% ever. Got all the trophies and so on. 4: I stuck with the story and even recently before 3 came out played and beat most of the games. (except DDD since it wasn't my kind of deal since I don't like the flowmotion part of the combat.)

You could say I'm a fan of the games and have done what I can to in general keep up with the series as well as have enjoyed the series.

But then 3 came out and I was just not happy with it. After waiting for so long and playing the game and screaming and ranting about certain plot points that just don't make sense to me (KH is notoriously hard to keep up with plot wise and I am just not the brightest person in the world when it comes to shit. Like I really need some things explained outright for me and to some degree do not mind spoilers for some things) I swore off KH the entirety from now on cause it was just that bad of a game for me. It wasn't a horrible game but the direction they started taking it in was just so far removed from what the original 2 games in the numerical series were that this was just NOT Kingdom Hearts at all. Sure you can say it is a love letter to the biggest of fans but I can say that a letter to regular fans was something it needed to do more than cater to such a rabid fanbase compared to a regular fanbase. I thought this was unfair and then bought Memory of Melody. That is now the worst game in the series to me. So I dived into what people thought and looked at a ton of youtubers who played the game and saw what they thought. I looked at reviews of non youtubers and read what they thought and the game has made the fanbase more divided than anything I'd ever seen from a fanbase. So I replayed the game with the intent to write down all I felt on the game to give it a fair review. Like I said I'm a filthy casual and I can give stuff a large break when it comes to media and have a large understanding of what that thing is meant to be. Sometimes a product is meant to be a certain way and we have to enjoy it for what it is and I can try and do that. I mean I love the WWE and Yugioh and anyone who is a part of those fanbases knows in their hearts (kek hearts) how bad those things can be at times. So I played the game and wrote down all the thoughts I had on it and Some might be easy to explain while others are in general probably at least fair on how I feel about it.

Kingdom Hearts is a series not meant for the new comer. It knows what it wants to be and does that thing. It isn't here to make everyone happy and that is just absolutely fine in general. I've been a fan and it makes me happy that the game is one long story that I can appreciate and make call backs to in stuff. I remember being so rewarded when I looked at my then best friend who skipped over chain of memories (I had to emulate it but I think it was fair of me to do so since I bought the game 3 times since now that I have the money to do so) and said he knew what happened because he saw the cutscene of Sora reaching the top and Namine betraying him by putting him into a pod. I laughed at him cause he was a fool who knew nothing of how the story went cause he foolishly just thought he didn't NEED to play the game. This made me more invested into the series than he was. I stuck with the series reading up articles and even watching videos on the series for stuff I missed out on since again i couldn't afford everything. They were building a story over a decade long and at the end it just didn't do it for me. It's not that the story wasn't the end of the series in general. Heck gotta make dat' money Y'all but in general this was the end of a saga for Xehanort and it just didn't cut it. But maybe I'm not starting at the right spot to give my feelings on it. Maybe I'm coming fresh off a game play and feeling a rant building for multiple reasons. So let me start with the positives before I bury the list under a pile of problems for me.

So I'll be putting things in order of good, mixed, bad. They will be somewhat fair and if they have an answer you have my sincerest apologies but remember I'm slightly the "dumb" and would in general like to just get simple straight answers. Something simple and clean if you would. On that note

1: The starting song is a god damned banger - Face my fears is up there with sanctuary which is better than Simple and clean. To be fair though simple and clean was made in like a flight and pretty much is nonsensical to the game in general. However it is a good song. How could it not be with one of japans best pop artists? Have you heard sakura drops? Colors? Traveling? Apples and cinnamon? Fuck man this song is just really good. 2: The game looks great - Sure the game might not look like ps2 graphics anymore but this isn't a bad thing it just is a different thing. The only time I thought it looked bad was during the pirates area where they had to make real people. Sometimes it is better to have a different art theme and even if something is just ok at best during it it can still be over all great. Everyone looked good during it. It just in general looked like a new version of KH entirely. 3: You can power up keyblades - One of the best parts of the game is powering up keyblades. Now sure mickey saying "we should have powered up our keyblades" is a stupid line in general when they are magic items and not fully meant to break form normal stuff but i think the ability to latch onto a key and make that sucker your main key is a great idea. Finally I can power up keys like sweet memories or the kingdom key and go through the cutscenes with the keyblade never changing and it look like it's meant to be there. 4: The whole getting treasure for sinking ships - Even if in general people might not like the ship combat the idea of being a pirate and stealing treasure from a ship when you sink one of the large ones is one of the best thematical ideas in the game. You can just sail the ocean and just pirate ship for loot if you wanted to and since you get xp during it and get your ship to be better it just is a great idea in its entirety. 5: Rikus keyblade - That is one of the better keyblades. I'm not gonna lie but the final fantasy cloud based keyblades where they are more realistic have been one of my favorite designs and I am sad i can't throw it on sora. I like the idea of an actual blade instead of a blunt weapon in the game since it just feels cooler sometimes. Riku getting a keyblade that not only looks more like a sword but is also still a key for a more modern car is one of the cooler things they have ever put in. 6: The call back to union cross players - This was a little lover note to people who played the game. They grabbed a ton of names and threw them in as you threw hundreds of keyblades at the giant heartless storm mob thing. I think it is great and even if I didn't play one of the names that pops up is my actual name so I find that pretty cool whenever I see it.

And that is it. Those are the best parts of KH3 to me. Everything else is either a mixed bag or just not good. I'm sure you can tell which one has more in it. As for the stuff that is in the middle of both good and bad let me make it clear that some stuff that is bad will probably be talked about in the bad section because it needs its own commentary.

1: All the party members - I always was a little sad having to remove one of the characters in my party to add the one new person they wanted to add in and was always sad at that limitation but with 3 you can now have ALL THE MEMBERS. This is great because now I have access to all of my forms with donal...... Oh right, they're not in the game anymore. 2: Nice to one and done an area - Back in the day when I first played the original first game I never went back cause I beat the level and thought it was extra stuff. When I got older and playued through 2 I was a little impatient and just didn't want to keep going back. Now as I am older and wiser and more patient I just do the thing cause it's a part of the game and deal. Thankfully it is all in one trip which is good CAUSE I DON'T WANNA FUCKING PLAY THESE LEVELS EVER AGAIN. 3: I'm gonna say it and people are gonna question me (probably not I'm not a large content creator thus people probably don't care about my opinion so strange of you to be here reading this) but I fucking hate winnie the pooh. I don't like him as a person and I'm just not a fan of his entire world. I only like Eeyore and not cause "gosh that's how I feel" Eeyore is the fucking man. He never lets his bad mood get him down and he powers through even when life is shit. Good for him man. Love that guy. Such a trooper. I just don't like pooh but the levels. God Kingdom Hearts mini games are just mostly not fun in general so not having to play so many mini games in poohs level is fantastic. EXCEPT EVERY WORLD HAS A DAMNED MINI GAME IN IT. 4: Speaking of mini games the ship combat is fine. - It's just, fine. 5: I had so much money - I don't remember playing any other game having so much money. I remember caring and investing and even trying to get money to spend on stuff in some points and in here it just.... I never spent it until i got bored and started using food. I didn't use food until the last world and beyond cause I wanted to finish the game faster. I mean the change of pace having money is nice but there was nothing really to do with it. Maybe I should have bought Hayner, Pence and Olette a ton of pretzels with it. 6: Playing as any other keyblade wielder - Man this was one of those great moments that I was excited to do. Having played as many other characters during other games was always nice and refreshing and being able to do so here was great. It got me excited to play as Mickey again since I got to use him a few times in KH2 or to be able to use Ventus or Aqua again cause they were gonna be saved and be able to fight in the upcoming battle. That is you know. If they are used in the game more than one time each. 7: Giant heartless battle - One of the best moments in the game was the "goofy just died" moment. Not because The goof man "died" but because you got to solo fight a crowd of enemies and in this game it was so cool to have that call back. The shit icing on that beautiful cake was having to use the train to win. Like it just felt like I was making no progress and I can't on my own fight the enemies and no matter how hard you try you can never stop the enemies ever. 8: The what if scenario - The group dying was pretty cool and was a great what if but would have been better if they didn't come back to the past and have Ventus run up and think it was Terra again. It was cool for the lingering will to step in and help but even then the whole situation was so stupid that it could have been written better. What if instead of doing the whole scenario it was a mind fuckery to sora to put him down mentally like they had been trying to entire game. What if it showed him losing and that it was possible? Instead we got this long winded scenario where people didn't learn from their first mistake and tried to go run up to Terra when in that moment Aqua when Ven tried going should have grabbed his shoulder and said "you know it's not him so let's just get ready to fight"

Those are the mixed bag moments I was commenting on. Some things are fine and aren't really an issue except the are a part of a bigger problem in itself which makes them a mixed bag. The last part's I'll be writing about are pretty much a giant rant or asking questions to things. There are problematic points I'll be making as well. So now let's look at the bad stuff in KH3. However, before I get into it, I want to also write down the not as bad stuff as well as some of the really big stuff so I'll make sure to point out when it is a gripe that isn't the worst thing in the world compared to it actually being not good.

1: Nitpick/The social media is dumb - Look I'm not much of a social media person and I know todays kids and teens are all about that jazz and such but man this part of the game is pretty dumb. I am in no way too old to "get hip with it grandpa" and think social media is a bad thing. Times and things change but WHY IS THIS A THING? Sora and friends are out saving the world and probably do not know about current phones since they are so busy. They would be like really old people trying to catch up with todays world and just in general should not have time enough to do it. Sure giving a phone is fine which whatever they can just add in ways to contact which again makes the phone fine but social media is dumb. What platform are they on? Who is following them? What world is this being sent to in general? Does anyone really care?

2: Nitpick/Why 7 VS 13? - I think the number is just really off. Ok look the original organization 13 was fine. Having 14 members in it wasn't a big deal and sure fighting them seperately and not all in one game made me a little sad until final mix came out but at least i got to fight Marluxia in all his pretty boy glory. The point I make is they just seem to have stuck with the 13 which is fine I guess? It just seemed like it was more or less there for no real reason. Sure we would have to fight every single Xehanort around such as Ansem, Xemnas, Terranort, Xigbar who works with old man Xehanort, Young Xehanort, Old man Xehanort. If you also in general wanted him to have each good guy fight a bad guy we would need one for each single keyblade wielder to come out. So let's say Kairi and Axel were just gonna join in so we can have for whatever reason Xion and Roxas just pop out to fight people. We would have need for a total of 7 enemies to fight. Let's just use these guys here as people for people to fight. We can have terranort fight someone before he comes back as lingering will to fight and get his body back. We can have Kairi fight Xion until she defects in general and fights another person with her. We can have axel fight Xemnas so he can get revenge and then have him lose and Roxas can come out. So on and so forth until we have just enough for each person to be matched with another person. You wouldn't need to stretch and find whatever you can and just fill the numbers. You could have at that point just filled it with villains you knew you wanted on your team. Not just bring back generic dudes who don't even need to be here. I'll get more into that in a moment but the numbers just seem off and could have been anything not 7 v 13 but like I said. Nitpick.

3: The plot of Sora flying around this time is a little weak. - So Sora lost his powers and needs to get them back. So he fucks off for a bit until he can regain the powers. Wouldn't it be better if he also trained with Kairi and Axel? What about just going into the realm of darkness to help the others get Aqua? What if instead of just going back and forth to each Disney world like he normally did he in general just.....trained. See the point of the other games was "close the keyholes of the world so heartless stop getting in. Stop those nobodies from opening Kindom Hearts." Kind like saving the world is a great motivation to have compared to "fuck off until you are good or something". It's one of the biggest issues in general. Now if he was told something more substantial than "you need the power of waking" than it would have made the grind through much better. Add in a new plot element for him to need to travel to lands in general so he can earn the power of waking. Send him to places to get that shit instead of "get stronger". You think I can't just do that shit with story? Shit's boring man lemme do stuff.

4: You cannot turn off attractions - That is without playing critical mode. Man Attractions are in general one of the worst parts of the game. Sure I find it hilarious when I'm fighting an important boss (such as Xemnas) and I last hit him with a merry go round but in general they just suck. They aren't fun and they slow the games combat down with a cinematic. Sure they can be "avoided" and I "don't have to use them" but they exist in the game. They are the creators vision and he wants you to use them. If they didn't want it to be a huge part of the games combat system they wouldn't add it in and the fact that it shows up so often just kinda proves they want you to use the thing. Combat in here is very floaty if you haven't noticed and a more grounded approach is sometimes best. This is what the attractions do since they still try and attack you thus getting closer to the attraction in the first place. It's really a jarring object. Telling me not to use it while having the chance to actually accidentally press the button is frustrating. It's the smaller version of telling someone don't be mad when they are mad or try not to be depressed. It's hard to avoid and the answer isn't just "don't do it." Especially when the game puts in abilities to make them more prominent such as extending the time on them. Another point on this is that if the developer wanted them to be optional they wouldn't sometimes be mandatory or even show up during boss fights. Either this was an added on horse shit thing where Disney was like "add attractions or we're done" or Nomura just was like "i recently went to disney land and you gotta put this in it's dope". Joke aside it is one of the worst parts of the game since I can't turn them off and it is hard to get around them. Let me turn them off fully or let them be used as an ability where you can add them in if you want it. Customization should be more of a thing than a gimmick you keep getting. Also they show up so often and I believe in every enemy spawn group. Multiple times even if you miss it the first time. Having so much prominence placed onto this one mechanic just shows they went in hard on it and sure if it was just the rock titan or just the horde of heartless at the end or maybe even rare I wouldn't find it much of a problem but it is EVERY FREAKING COMBAT. I hit that button on accident more times than I wanted to that in general I was trying to use a spell but I missed it by seconds or something and the carnival ride started up and I just said "god dammit" and had to end it dealing a burst of damage since you can't just stop it, it has to go full swing. Also only in critical mode is kind of bullshit. Add it to every mode in the game and it'll be less of an issue.

5: Nitpick/Sora is an idiot - Look I don't mean the whole "he's so stupid now he just is always happy or has dumb dialogue" I mean the idiot tried to touch fire and instead of water magic which he now has and I spammed on the fire balls he walked up to a freaking inferno of flames and just tried to see if it was hot by touching it with his bare hands. Shit Sora you dumb fuck Goofy had a better idea than the mage and the main character and he's not always the brightest. Fuck you.

6: There is too much stuff in this game - Way too many mechanics and most of them are on forever. You have so much you can do such as the shotlock, Flowmotion, Carnival rides, Extra forms, Summoning the fat cat dream pokemon, so many mini games, just so much shit and I'm sure I forgot something. Now look I can let go of the whole "cat" thing because it is a summon and those are normal but in general it just feels like the entire game was overloaded with everything from every other game EXCEPT for cards and if we don't have cards for character upgrades or something it feels like a waste. (that's a joke) The point is that there is too much stuff and it's all filler and fluff and we can just have a nice game without 10,000 things to learn in the first section of the game.

7: Nitpick/ I think the selfies are just dumb - I've taken a total of maybe 5 selfies. All of which are to show a single person in that specific moment. Selfies don't really do much in the world we play in for KH3 and I just think it is in general a dumb game mechanic. However it is not required to do so it's not a big deal to have in. Just another nitpick.

8: Food and cooking - Look, this is not monster hunter. This is not another game where food is an important detail and sure I don't mind the addition of it if you really wanna put it in but it does make the game easier when used. In that direction fine making a game easier isn't a bad thing, however, constantly telling me now is a good time to find ingredients for little chef is annoying every time. I could figure it out if I really wanted it but in general since it is an optional mechanic to which I can just buy the parts for it and even the food at a kupo shop than what is the point in adding in the game play mechanics for it? The mini games are dumb and take too long to do for such a small mini game. Crack and egg get soup. Nothing else but crack an egg. So than the game is too short for a mechanic I'm supposed to do often? Why not add in a larger game so that I can help him create the object one time to see if he likes it and then when he adds it on I can order the object from him. Don't add it into the kupo store if I you want me to make it and don't make me make it be so tedious if you want me to make it. Also why is sora cooking at all? It's Remys passion not mine. He's even shown to run a packed restaurant all on his own at the end of the game in the credits scene.

9: More customization please - Here's a major issue I have with the game. There is less customization compared to other games. This is strange as in general it seems to be the same. The problem is this. I have to use flowmotion in the game. It is not an option because in certain levels it is a legitimate requirement to use for moving elsas castle. It is required in a couple other places as well but the point still stands. I need to have them equipped in order to make progress. The fact that in KH2 I could turn off big moves from team members but cannot now takes the agency away from me from making my fighting style more what I want to do. This means in order for me to really enjoy the game I have to really accept mechanics I was not a fan of in DDD. Maybe having an option for character customization such as turning off forms, and what special attacks you wanna do would be nice instead of giving everything under the sun. Do I want to be a fast mobile fighter? Than make that a character level abiliy choice instead of just making me have it from the start and also making it mandatory for levels. Allow me to remove the big moves with my team and stop making them always on since I never liked them. Sure I can ignore them but it comes down to the same thing as the attractions. Sometimes you cannot avoid hitting the wrong thing. This also goes into the whole magic sucking ass in this game. Every spell is offensive and thus it just feels like it is the same. Wanna do a little small thing with some damage? Wanna do massive damage comparatively? It just feels like they wanted to simplify the whole having a summon, having a spell, having 2 items on or something along those lines. This stops you from having more options on your character and just stream lines you in to a generic build. I didn't use ice once past the first time finding out its pretty much a fire ball. I used cure, fire, water, thunder. Thunder for crowds, fire for damage, water for crowds also because I just stopped caring and cura cause I heal all my damage cause DONALD NEVER HEALS YOU. WE'RE 4000 GAMES IN MAKE DONALD HEAL BETTER. This again comes back to the limits. Let me turn them off since I do not like them. If they worked as magic they would be better cause the magic sucks ass in the game. I mostly after a while stopped doing any real care in magic and just used healing. This also comes back to the original abilities in second form that you can unlock via smacking them with your keyblade. They would be nice since the magic in the game again sucks ass so having something to use magic bar that is not cure would be a nice touch.

10: For a guy who lost his powers I sure have a ton of abilities right away - Remember when in the beginning of each game you lost all your powers and had to slowly unlock everything and it would come to you not just willy nilly? Man those were the days. Could earn powers for reasons. I'm not helpless in the game if I can run up mountains or sky scrapers. If I can glide with the shotlock from one spot to another. I'm too strong if anything at the start and it just makes you feel like the game is padding time before the small amount of story at the end that matters. This could have literally been with the final chapter prologue and it would have worked fine. But no, we didn't get that. That leads into us just spending time until something happens. The story has its own issues (which I will touch up on near the end) and it has some really bad pacing issues. There is bad pacing, and then there is bad writing because of bad pacing. Why not put some shit in the middle. Show I'm getting better instead of just having me just do everything all at once. That's not really an issue if they space parts of it in or let me play as the other characters while sora is fucking off for power. Imagine if they added in more parts with Riku while Sora quests for strength. Imagine us going through the land of darkness instead of just Disney world after Disney world. Imagine what we could have had had it not just been all the Disney stuff then the finale all at once. It wasn't bad pacing for the end to pick up, it was bad pacing for there to be nothing in the middle. This is where the final fantasy characters could have been nice. Adding in the end of the Cloud and Sephiroth stuff so we can fight for more power there. Having us talk with Leon and the gang while they battle with some heartless just in the area and needing help. This would have made better pacing since it would have cut the monotony of the Disney grind. There are times when you just sit there waiting for stuff to happen as you run through world after world waiting for plot in general to just move forward. This does not mean it is bad pacing, this just means there is nothing important going on and leads to the story just falling short of being gripping and engaging. I again bring up the final fantasy characters because let's face it, if they did exist it would give something in general more time to flesh out. There is nothing to do but repeated disney movies that either play out like normal or that you play no real part in since it is after the story in the whole movie. Sure it was great to see what happened with boo and the monsters but Randall just is there and I'm sure he was gone at the end of the first movie. In fact after using my Disney plus account (#notsponsored) to just hit the end of the movie it shows him in a trailer getting beat with a shovel. He probably got back but still.

11: The combat is too "floaty" - I'm in the sky like fucking constantly man. Like all the time. Which is a bad thing since the fucking god damned level creation is now just a tall hallway. See I say tallway (patent pending) beause the level of the game is still pretty small but now it just also goes up a long way. I know this because there are so many flashing walls that there should be seizure warnings in the beginning of the game. It doesn't stop either since in general you have to climb high and doing so brings you ledges and if you have to hit people flying then you are gonna fall. Sure we can use magic but magic runs out and is complete ass. Now look this isn't just me saying it can happen since it does right in the hercules area. The first area where they could have been testing thing and probably did which means someone dealt with this shit and said it was fine enough to pass. That's just bad game mechanics right there. If you want me to be floaty in combat that do not put ledges I can fall down in your game. I do not want to climb all the way back to the top just to get into more fights I might fall down because of. Maybe make the parts I'm on bigger platforms. It just seems they want us to use the attractions because you can't fall off the safe attractions. Another thing is that it isn't just combat that is "floaty" but your movement is also a little too fast. Making larger areas and then making us speed up into a sprint is fine but having me stop right next to a save spot inches too short of touching it only for me to Vroom Vroom right over it because of how fast and far I move is god damned infuriating. It also continues combat wise as an issue in that once you get the ability to knock people up you start going into air combat and smacking them away and you can do that so much since in general the areas you fight in are so large that you can knock a single heartless out of the spawning area enough that you have to run back to fight it.

12: Proud mode is a fucking joke - I think I died a total of one time in proud mode which is probably more than others. See the difficulty has been said to be really easy on this games play through and I'm inclined to believe them. Here is the thing. I know critical mode now exists. I just don't like it. See critical mode was doable in 2 since it was just again harder stuff but in this it is no longer you playing KH3. It is you playing Dark Souls which if I wanted to play that kind of game I'd pop in my copy of bloodborne or turn on my copy of dakr souls 2 which in general I'm not a huge fan of so I stopped playing those games. Difficulty in a game is fine but there is going from hard to fuck why am I playing dark souls? No I'm not the kind of guy who says anything hard is dark souls because I grew up in the era of gaming where games had one difficulty and you had to learn to "get gud" or deal with never winning. Even if I was never good at games I didn't shy away from things being difficult. There is however an exception that the game changes so drastically that there is no happy medium between pants shittingly hard or baby mode. The other thing is that in general DLC should not dictate if a game is good on its own. DLC is meant to enhance the fucking experience and should not make me want to have to buy something (this was free) to get a god damned happy experience out of something that cost me top dollar to begin with. If I need your DLC to have fun or enjoy the story than you clearly missed the damned mark. DLC is extra boss battles. It is final mix of the game when it comes out. It turns your vanilla play through into more than what it once was. It adds aesthetics to the game not makes the game difficult and if it does it doesn't make the game different to such a degree that I'd rather fucking play a game that was created to be that difficult because their combat system is hand crafted for said difficulty. Secondly on that list of being too easy who the fuck thought kupo coins was a good idea. I literally just stopped giving a shit since I could use my now always full magic bar since magic is ass to heal when I needed it and to just run away with my big fucking area during battles and not take damage until I could go in and do slappies for a while before running away and gauging if I need to heal and then if I died come back to life. With all the power moves and free attractions each combat I could have beaten proud mode without gimping myself by trying to not use attractions. The forms didn't help with that either because I would just second form and have a brand new powerful thing to do since it was right there. Not only that but rage form is a full heal and why am I heartless sora again? Either way rage form into run away fast because I run like I'm form kenya with all the movement abilities and then with kupo coin and magic makes the difficulty in here easier than "just don't use it". Mostly because it is implemented in the game and they want you to use it. Telling someone not to use the thing is again stupid because if they didn't want me to use it they would remove the feature. This is no longer a kids game. I'm over 10 years older than I once was and I'm a big boy and want to not be treated like a child. Sure they could be putting it in for kids but why not just have it in easy mode since kids will either do easy mode or know they want that extra challenge.

13: Many of the fights and heartless are just not that good compared to earlier games - So firstly the giant horde of heartless was cool one time. Each time you fight it it gets more and more boring and feels like a cop out on trying to make a good battle and a "oh man this is such a cool idea lets use it alot more than we need to". For a game that was in development for 6 years you think they would have more varied enemies and fights and by that I mean more better heartless. Also some of the heartless are just kinda eh in general. Not only that but the places we visit feel like the heartless are kinda thrown in there and they just made way less enemies than normal. Maybe that is me forgetting if other games did the same thing but I can remember many places having more unique enemies that made more sense. Like why is the monkey heartless here? This is not the time to return to monke or some shit like that and it makes 0 sense when I have to fight it in more than one area. How about the lady heartless with the umbrella. Doesn't fit in every single place it shows up and just feels like it is there. Sometimes they do a nice job putting in certain heartless such as the reindeer which I thought was a nice touch but i don't remember them interacting at all with the reindeer from frozen. I also in general remember each heartless having a newer form such as the fat heartless eventually turned into fire breathers and then eventually into shield dudes. They do not make a reappearance but the fat ones show up all over the place and it would be nice to fight things that are great for the area. Some just also have eh designs and the game just feels poorly made because of it. Some bosses are just boring as well. In fact off the top of my head I can't really remember one I like but I sure as shit can remember the one I hated most which happens to be the airship section where you board a machine gun heartless to fight that sky bird thing in the pirates section. I even found the robots in general tedious because they were hard to beat without the use of the robot suits and felt like another tacked on gimmick to use to make combat more easy. Had they been a single section and not everywhere in the store it would have been cooler but instead we had many fights to do with robots who almost always wrecked my shit. In fact it ruined combat a little for me in general and made the section of toy story a little less good. See most of these issues I have with the places are the grand scale of things and having to go back and forth with them with having really unmemorable heartless for the most part and just not finding the game to be that great with some of the more important parts. Enemies help to flesh the game out to be cooler and as much as I love the generic heartless the worlds make the heartless cooler by making them change to be better suited for the world they are in. Having extra enemies like nobodies and unversed without having much of a reason to have them there other than "you remember this right?" seems like a waste of design chances. Some just either were frustrating tank sponges and the others were just not good. The other issue is some bosses appeared numerous times and just didn't feel impressive when fighting them since they just keep coming back. The giant heartless who I saw in hercules mode coming back on the bridge where you first meet Baymax makes the scene not great since it is a simple color swap at most and it is the same thing again. A lot of the bosses in general just feel ok at best too design wise. I can look back at many of the designs and just name really enjoyable ones who are better than the ones we got here. Honestly the designs are just so much of a let down I don't even wanna revisit the stages which is good because the game just isnt that much fun. One of the more unfun parts of enemies is also the shield stuff they have sometimes which is just more ways to give them extra health. Why not just in general just give them more health since it is just a way to beef them up? Not only are they now mostly damage sponges but the fact that some turn into shielded damage sponges just makes me less happy to fight things. The worst version of unfun boss happens to be the lich at the end when you need to rescue everyone from it. The thing is that it not only takes forever and makes you have to fight it numerous times but it also has the ability to make you unlock from it and in such large areas that becomes tedious to deal with lengthening the entire fight from the already long fight it is.

14: Quick speed round of things I don't like that are just not as good as earlier games - Magic sucks in this game. It's all relatively the same since it is all offensive. Aero was in general the same as thunder since it is aoe with a secondary effect. Water, Fire, Ice are all the same as they shoot a ball of the element that homing devices onto an enemy and when not in general locked on fucks off wherever. I miss the older spells and how they worked and felt more unique in 2 while also having more than just offense. Maybe introduce more spells to the next main entry based on the spells of every other game? I'm just not a fan of some of these worlds as they are all new. I haven't had a chance to catch most of the new movies (even thought I have disney plus which is great you should totally buy it #stillnotsponsored) I just don't like some of the places and the mini games in the don't help. Slight inconvenience but making me have to press x as I load new levels is kinda dumb. Maximus should be a party member. Give me him instead of eugene. Why do I need the flowmotion to progress? Hooray WATER LEVELS MY FAVORITE. Crabs. Watch me beat davy jones in a 4 on 1 battle.Darkubes are dumb. Jesus christ Jiminy shut up I'm trying to grind in the best place for the end game. Oh look it's an organization member maybe I can figh....nah they gone now. THERE ARE SO MANY CUTSCENES.

15: 2 final things before the story issues - Playing as other characters, keyblade forms. One of the biggest gripes I had in this was each time I used a new keyblade i wanted to fight with it and not transform into a new form because I do not like the new forms. They do nothing for me and since they kind of all are ok at best that it just kinda feels meh to me to use them. I pretty much used the kingdom key because second form was fine and stayed a keyblade. If anything I would rather have a new style of fighting like second form in general like the original forms are in KH2. I like valor and wisdom form and as cool of a call back as it was for the 2 first keyblades to be given to you I don't like the final ability to be used which makes me less inclined to find a weapon I do like. Which leads into my second final gripe. I was really excited to play as multiple keyblade wielders. Playing as mickey in 2 was super fucking cool and I miss that. Playing as Aqua and Riku in this made me hope for eventual fights at the end where it was each person fought someone else and you would get an ability to play through a final area for extra boss fights as any character for extra gameplay. I was excited to see what Axel and Kairi could do since in general they finally had moments to shine. You could make them fight and even if they did win just have them lose via cutscene and bring back Roxas and have Xion turn to your side. So many issues I have with that because it goes into another issue of.......

16: Everyone but Sora is fucking worthless - I have seen Dragonball GT and the main main main main main issue I have with that show is no one matters except Goku. See in other series characters could fight and kill or do something against the not main villain and be worth a damn but when GT happened everyone kinda just. Became worthless. No one could win a fight except Goku especially near the end when they had him fight 7 dragons. Sora does the same here when he has to be involved the final boss rush in the game. I'd have liked to see other characters stand out but even then he is the only one who can fight Xehanort when Mickey failed to do anything. It was all sora. Even waking Aqua was all sora. The only time someone did something was when Aqua fought Vanitas and still got her shit kicked in at the end during the cinematic and at that point he just didn't wanna fight 3 people. This is a shame because as I already said it would have been cooler to have those characters fight people and it matter. Let's break down the people who would be on our side Riku Kairi Axel Roxas Terra Ven Aqua Xion Sora Mickey Thats a total of 10 different people to play as. That would have made the final boss fights unique and super cool. You say that would have taken so much time and I say "Cool" but it would have been cooler to fight as these different characters. If they put in 2 extra just do them all. It is the most let down of let downs in gameplay mechanics. Who could they have fought in the game? Let's look at the villains Xigbar Marluxia Terranort Young Xehanort Xemnas Ansem Larxene Luxord Older Xehanort Evil Clone Riku Vanitas Saix Xion There are 12 total people to fight that are not the original Xehanort and each one could be fought with someone totally different. If Xion fights twice but wasn't really trying the first time she can be fine for the second battle. Let's give everyone a person to fight. Let's get the easy ones out of the way. Remember the ones who we fight first don't matter as much because each person not Older Xehanort do not matter even if they are him in other forms. Terra as the lingering will is gonna fight Terranort and get his body back. Riku can fight Ansem who tries to use his darkness and their past against him. Kairi can fight Xion who is noticed to not even be trying and then kairi can be captured to still do the ending they planned for. Xion who now defects can join and fight Larxene Axel can fight Xemnas and lose leaving him almost die while Roxas can jump out and fight him instead Ventus can finally defeat Vanitas Aqua can fight and defeat Xigbar who she has some history with Sora can fight and defeat Luxord so he can give him the card he was going to give. This fight can be more simple than the others and Sora can have to fight against the other Riku Mickey can fight Marluxia Before losing his fight with Xemnas Axel can fight and beat Saix We get to the final battle and while Sora who ran off to find Kairi he has to get through Younger Xehanort to get to the older one.

Look at that clean battle line up. Throw them in the correct order and you can have fights with so many people and even do the stuff needed for it to make the story go smoothly. Everyone gets to be unique and have their day in the sun. The final fight would be sora and gang fighting Xehanort and since the end game would be choose who fights who you can literally have over 120 different fights total if you leave out Donald and Goofy from the sora versions of fights. Heck allow us to fight the final boss final main form and we can in general have even more as we fight him with each character.

17: What is the difference between a heart and a soul? - This is a simple question because they keep saying we don't need the bodies cause we still have their hearts and I'm just having troubles figuring out if the story writers know the damn difference between a heart which is a physical thing or a concept of the soul which is the metaphysical thing. You know like what makes you you.

18: Why doesn't Axel have 2 keyblades? - Like I like that he holds it the way he does, it's very him very unique and all that but if Roxas can have 2 and he gets one from Xion who is no longer a part of him because she is right there than why can't Axel who is specifically a dual wielder of weapons get 2 of them? I mean give the main a sword that is like a Chinese Dao sword combo. It literally is a blade that turns into 2 blades. Like don't even tell me that shit is unable to happen cause Ventus fucking gets that strange keyblade because it is unique to his style so if that is how it works and they all have based on their personality he should have two. Especially since it would be a great call back to my favorite Axel line in the entire series. "Two!?"

19: Clone Riku should not be a boss - Remember when we beat the shit out of Riku as Sora and then Riku clone and then Riku beat Riku clones ass? He's not a challenge. "He was given more darkness powers" Nice, cool cop out there. Fuck you.

20: Why kill everyone just to set up a story line when you could just do it better - So this one is a little subjective. Need sora to meet Chirithy or whatever its name is and maybe set up remind dlc or whatever but in the end you could have just broke his spirit from his body and put him in the other world by making Xehanort who tried taking him over show him everyone dying and it causing Sora to blank out and travel there as a spirit or some shit. It could have worked just as fine allowing the rest of everyone else to go fight the enemies at the end giving sora time to eventually wake up and join in while Donald and Goofy protect him. Then when he wakes up Luxord who could have said "I'll handle the boy when he wakes up could have just did what he wanted to do with the card then. It's just a dumb moment and we could have instead of dumb gameplay where we have to put ourselves back together and have to save everyone and re watch a stupid ass cutscene just watched a cutscene and went back while everyone handled what they needed to.

So before I get into the final 4 parts to get into I hope that you know I was trying to be really fair with a bunch of these and not just looking for things to gripe about. When I didn't understand things I made myself look up to make sure I understood and didn't just bitch about it for the sake of bitching. These last 4 things are kind of in general I beleive super fair.

1: The battles stop as you talk with each person - Nothing kills a fight sequence like starting it, defeating a single enemy in it, talking with a full blown conversation to them, then as they die restart with another fight scene to do it with every single person in the fight. WHY WOULD MARLUXIA AND LARXENE ALLOW LUXORD TO GIVE HIM A CARD? Why would they stop fighting? Why would Ansem, Xemnas, and Young Xehanort watch as one of the others fell and talked? Why would any sane fucking person do that? It makes 0 sense and ruins that boss rush.

2: I know you need to set up another game but fuck you - You literally made the happiest of endings where everything is the best for everyone ever and I MEAN EVERYONE except for Sora and Kairi. Fucking fuck you man. I'm not even mad that that was the ending but when everyone comes up fucking peaches and cream I tend to question the product even if they need to set up story. They can do it better, do what you did at the end of 2 and send a message in a bottle and say "there are still other worlds out there that need us, just not in this universe" or some shit like that. Shit if in general they can have emotions in games than have sora have to jump into the game. You already said my microwave can feel love so than if he can be in that rex universe than he can just go in after he has a nice break with all of his friends.

3: No - Xehanort was not a good guy the entire time. He literally murdered people and stole a childs body and ripped the emotions out of another child and made them not whole. He got a child so angry he murdered his new sorta dad. He pretty much was the whole reason anything bad happened and he was "misguided and wanted to good but did bad to do so". Then in the end he's forgiven and everything is fucking fine? Then he turns into a good guy and goes into the big heart in the sky. This is the kind of writing that literally kills off stories for at least me. Not everyone needs a second chance and sometimes people are just evil. We need stories that have people die at the end sometimes. I know it is fantasy and it can be all rainbows and butterflies but dear god Steven Universe was literally "no you" and that was the end of the entire fucking series. This is the same thing. It might not be "no you" but fuck this ending. This was a story that was supposed to end a 17 year long story and the end of this single part literally spits in the face of people who played it by saying "hey guys, he wasn't bad, he is sorry now". That is complete and utter horse shit. I don't mind that this is not the end of the series. I don't care because if I stuck around this long I would do the same if the story had a satisfying ending. Fuck man in the new game he's even evil then unless that is just how Kairi remembers him but let's face it. The gang would have told her what happened and this is just horse shit in general. This is a fucking stupid story and I literally am fine with alternate realities since time travel and other dumb stuff has been the main name of the game the entire fucking time but let's face it. This is one of the worst ideas for an ending for a villain. The buold up is fucking massive and the payout is just sad.

4: NO - Fucking xigbar. I don't even know how to put this into words how much of a let down it is for Xigbar, Fucking XIGBAR to be the next main enemy. (or at least it looks that way). Fucking we could have had Luxord. We could have had Marluxia. We could have had Demyx. We could have had fucking I don't know Vexen. We could have had fucking anyone but we get Xigbar. You could have slapped any other character onto his scenes and gotten the same amount of out of nowhere shit to explain him being next but it is fucking xigbar. Fucking unreal.

So yeah. That's my massive wrap up on KH3 and I personally do not know where I stand from here. Maybe if the next game doesn't play like shit in 400 years when Nomura gets off his ass and lets us have kingdom hearts 3.76 tie in to 4 which is oddly enough a main title and not a second part of 3 I'll see how it plays. Until then I think I'm gonna sit hereand never touch 3 again and never finish Melody of Memory.

#kingdom hearts #3 #kingdomhearts3 #kh3 #kingdom #hearts #Kindom Hearts 3

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lux-i-fer · 4 years

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Fanfic Recs That No One Asked For

We're sliding into day ?? of quarantine and I thought I'd recommend some of my favorite fics that would totally violate social distancing rules.

Lucifer

What You Deserve by Darker_Side [Complete]

Summary:

An angsty one-shot of the interrogation room scene between Chloe and Lucifer in 3x20. I just couldn't get that tension out of my head, and this happened in preparation for season 4 in just a few days! AH! I hope you enjoy this angsty smut.

What I like:

It's HOT idk that's it y'all.

Happy Detective Day! by violent_ends [Complete]

Summary:

Now that Lucifer is in Hell, Chloe has completely forgotten that it's the one-year anniversary of that stupid surfer case in which Lucifer decided to focus entirely on her. That is, until a surly demon turns up on her doorstep, thrusts flowers in her face, and tells her, “Happy Detective Day from His Infernal Highness!”

Or: the marvellous top-side journey of Saleos the peace-loving demon.

What I like:

I love unusual POVs and Saleos is adorable 😉 I like the bittersweet ending the author chose to go with, it felt super realistic.

Crystals by OkamiShadou98 [WIP]

Summary:

After seeing Lucifer's scars, Chloe searches for the truth about her partner and his shadowed past. In doing so, she comes face to face with the psychological demons he shields himself from. Recovery is a long, twisted road for the Devil and his Detective. Eventual Deckerstar

What I like:

WING SCARS! I love me some wing scar angst. I also really love the inclusion of Dan in here. He and Lucifer have some nice brotp moments in here.

can we surrender? by dryadfiona [WIP]

Summary:

Marcus Pierce shoots Charlotte Richards. She doesn't die. They've gotta take down the Sinnerman somehow.

What I like:

It's a fake marriage trope guys 👀 need I say more? Also I just really liked what they did with their post s3 canon divergence.

the nicest angel you have by TotallynotRemus [WIP]

Summary:

In which Trixie prays for a friend, and the Devil answers. Or, Trixie makes a deal.

What I like:

I kinda dig demon summoner Trixie tbh. I like that Lucifer and Maze keep missing meeting Chloe and the fact that she thinks that Trixie now has imaginary friends named after the Devil and an object just doesn't even phase her.

Other Fandoms:

This may be a Lucifer blog but you guys know I like other fandoms right? 😉 Have some bonus recs.

Overheard by leiascully [Complete] Welcome to Night Vale Fandom

Summary:

Cecil accidentally broadcasts a private moment.

What I like:

Listen why are there not more accidental voyeurism fics in the wtnv fandom?? This one is perfect. The writing is absolutely beautiful and I could just fall into anything this author writes in this style.

Perhaps A Sign by Thia (Jennaria) [Complete] Welcome to Night Vale Fandom

Summary:

Carlos keeps waking up in Cecil's bed. This would be great, if he knew how he got back there from the Desert Otherworld, or if the timeline wasn't screwed up. Maybe he should work on that.

What I like:

The Christmas scene!!!! Oh my god I absolutely loved the concept of Cecil just going along with The Thing (which I won't spoil for you) and I just LOVE his line after it's all done ("merry Christmas indeed"). It cracks me up every time.

Home for the Holidays by messyfeathers [Complete] Welcome to Night Vale Fandom

Summary:

The invitation to spend Christmas at Carlos's brother's house seemed as good an excuse as any to introduce Cecil to the family. If only years of Night Vale holidays hadn't left Cecil absolutely terrified of jingle bells and Perry Como songs. It's a transition to be sure.

What I like:

I love "meet the family" tropes! I also love Cecil outside Night Vale and this one is really well done.

The Consequences of Dreaming by NoPondInTheForest [Complete] Doctor Who 2005 Fandom

Summary:

Years have passed since the Doctor walked away, leaving the woman he loved behind with his double. Now, traveling with the Ponds, his broken hearts are an old secret, hidden away under the guise of the manic, dynamic alien. So when a mysterious threat arises, compelling him to return to Pete's World, it means risking everything- including his hearts, his secrets, and his sanity. But no is never an option when Rose needs his help.

What I like:

I'm always a slut for Eleven/Rose what can I say? This is extremely well done and I thought how the author handled the whole Eleven/Rose TenTwo/Rose tension arc gracefully. Also Amy and Rory meeting Rose 👀

Coming Out by flutterby_cupcake_26 [Complete] Supernatural Fandom

Summary:

It was a typical love story. They met in college. It was love at first sight, or close enough, and it wasn't long until Dean and Castiel were married. It was pretty close to perfect.

Fast forward seven years: Dean teaches at a high school in his home town in Kansas and Castiel is better known as Jimmy Novak, internationally best-selling author. They spend months apart, and all their time hiding who they really are. But their way of life is threatening to unravel completely, and Dean needs to choose what is more important; his privacy or his husband.

What I like:

I absolutely LOVE established hidden relationships! This fic is amazing in that regard and I felt like the relationships and characters were fleshed out really well.

Blind Marriage by inspiration_assaulted [Complete] BBC Sherlock Fandom

Summary:

Lt John Watson, 25, will do just about anything to stay in the Army, even if it means marrying a man he's never met. It's only for two years, and he'll probably be in Afghanistan the whole time. How much can his life really change?

Sherlock Holmes, 21, is just entering rehab, at his mother's dying request. He can't receive the money she left him, the money he needs to live, unless he gets married. He signs the papers to shut Mycroft up. Besides, it's only for two years, and his husband is on a different continent. How much can his life really change?

What I like:

What do you mean I have a type?? Nahhhh. But haha yeah this is another secret relationship fic. I thought the johnlock in here felt super natural and even though they're apart for most of the fic, I got a lot out of this.

#fanfic #recs #deckerstar #johnlock #cecilos #eleven/rose #destiel

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pyroniite · 5 years

Note

Hit me with a good ol 📖 >:) go all out!!!!!

f_ckin BLESS YOU, Queen 😭

Ok so!!!!!! I've posted sh_t about Rhythm & Alioth and the new short I'm kinda working on.

Welp, time for y'all to pull up a chair and/or pop a squat because ol' Ronnie's gonna gush about the story that's still a WIP and technically a first draft!!!!

Before I even start, I need to show y'all the short I made a while ago!

Here's the link! >:]

This was sort of my final project back in my Advanced Digital Media class in 10th grade. I had to edit some parts (in order for it to make a little sense), and I also had a friend voice the announcer at the end (I know you probably won't see this but THANK YOU M***Y!!!!! 😭😭😭) :D

ALSOO before I start rambling, I've gotta tell y'all about Rhythm and Alioth's backstories!!!!! (Rhythm's is sorta long, and Alioth's is VERY LONG. Get ready)

.....

Rhythm's been a traveling DJ alien for many millennia; she goes from planet to planet working at various night clubs in order to save up money for her own portable turntable! Since she's saving up all of her money, she's homeless and she often sleeps in alleyways in order to not spend all of her money. She's a clumsy and antisocial little girl, as well as hardworking and kind; a major flaw she has in her personality is her stubbornness. She absolutely HATES asking for help when she can't do anything in return, so more often than not she's in pain from not sleeping or eating (because of how awkward she feels for making others pity her/help her). She doesn't let others know how she really feels, so she always acts happy and she always tries to make others happy. She's very invested in her music/job, so she doesn't have any friends. That is, until she met Alioth.

Alioth was a very troubled alien, to say the least. He was very cunning and cold, as well as clever and wicked. Due to his home planet getting destroyed, he was abrasive and he only looked out for himself. One day while travelling the galaxy, he got caught in a meteor shower and became severely wounded (including but not limited to: major cuts and lacerations, as well as a deep cut above his left knee, leaving it practically dangling by a thread). He was eventually rescued by a pirate ship, and once one of the crewmates fixed him up (ie cleaning him up, giving him a prosthetic leg, making him take medicine to help heal everything), he was immediately hired by the captain as a cabin boy. He worked his way up through the ranks as the years went on (from cabin boy to sous chef to navigator to second mate and to eventually first mate), and him and the captain got close. Really close. The captain and his crew were very adament on the whole "storm a planet, pillage all of the big towns, capture prisoners, repeat" thing, and at first Alioth was very supportive of the idea. They would all have a BLAST stealing money and grabbing innocent aliens to add to their prison; however, once he came through a town and saw a young girl in an alleyway crying, he grew conflicted. Was this really the right choice for him? Was he really this violent and destructive?

His feelings grew stronger and stronger with every pillage; once he saw the crew take the young girl on board as a prisoner, he SNAPPED. He rebelled against his captain and threatened to leave the crew. His captain in response put a sword up against the young alien's throat and talked about how fun it would be to kill her (while the girl screamed and cried for help). He went ballistic, and immediately grabbed the knife in his pocket and stabbed the captain in the eye. The crew stood in horror as Alioth grabbed the young girl's hand and fled the ship. He took her back to her planet and apologized for everything; once he finished and comforted her, he went out into space to find his purpose in life.

It wasn't until many years later that he would run into a similar-looking alien (coincidentally in an alleyway), and after talking to her and becoming friends, he realized that it was her. While eating in an alleyway, the girl introduced herself as Rhythm, and she slowly started to trust him with every passing day. From hanging out with Rhythm, Alioth slowly began to soften up, and he went from being cunning and wicked to being sincere and friendly. The two soon became inseperable, and they began to travel the galaxy together as best friends!

(For the record, Rhythm doesn't remember meeting Alioth for the first time. She's forgotten everything prior to her capture, so she can't really remember where she came from or how she became who she is today.)

...

The new short takes place many years later, in a new part of the galaxy and with new trouble brewing for the two friends.

Rhythm and Alioth are now fugitives on the run (due to them being wrongfully accused of a federal crime), and they've been living every day in the shadows. Rhythm seems to have lost most of her outgoing attitude and is now very serious and secretive. However, with all of this new stress, she's been coping by reverting to an innocent and happy childlike state. Although she seems very mature and quiet on the inside, on the inside she's a little kid that's excited about every and any positive possibility. She only trusts and likes Alioth, and sees any other alien as an undercover agent that's ready to arrest them. She doesn't know why, but she has a deathly fear of being captured and thrown in prison. She feels as though if she tells Alioth, he'll get upset with her, so she's kept her feelings built up inside of her (leading to countless sleepless nights and random breakdowns).

Alioth's changed quite a bit. Ever since becoming a fugitive, he's been frustrated with everything and he's slowly starting to act like his old self. He doesn't really trust any other alien, and he only looks out for him and Rhythm. He's a bit snarky with others and he's become more of a realist. Despite all of his changes, he treats Rhythm like a younger sister (despite her being WAY older than him) and he always tries to support her and help her feel better. He's very scared about becoming a monster again, and in order to not scare Rhythm, he keeps his fears to himself.

One day, Rhythm's out exploring by herself (despite Alioth's warnings) and she eventually comes across a familiar nightclub. She explores around inside, and finds a turntable that's still functional. This sparks an idea in her mind, and calls Alioth to tell him to meet her at a nearby planet. Once they meet up, she gushes to him about opening their own hangout spot/safe place for fugitives and outlaws alike, which leaves Alioth dumbfounded. He tries to explain that it could lead to their arrest and they could be ruined, but she doesn't care. She's absolutely determined to make her new dream a reality!!

I haven't really figured out anything else other than those parts :O but yee haw I hope you find this interesting! >:]

#TY FOR SENDING IN AN ASK ILY NO HOMO!!!!!#ask answered #how-many-fandoms-am-i-in-again #ronnie rambles #rhythm #alioth

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angst-in-space · 6 years

Text

voltron fic recs april 2018

fics added to my fic rec masterlist in april 2018. check out the link to the masterlist to see all my previous fic recs! happy reading ✨

To Dance Till Dawning || PunJedi || Keith/Lance || T+ || 79.5k || chs. 3/3 (complete)

"If it wasn’t for the goddamned rabbit, Lance wouldn’t be in this mess."

Somehow on a detour to a date, Lance manages to get himself embroiled in a war that ended millennia ago, a shady sickness plaguing the Kingdom of Altea, and one very disagreeable, very emo púca. He really, really should've stayed home.

"Keith had screwed up. Royally screwed up. Zarkon plus Haggar plus Lotor plus Alfor plus Allura level of royally screwing up."

Somehow, out for a run in the forest, Keith manages to find himself involved with a kingdom that wanted nothing to do with him, the ghosts of his past, and one incredibly annoying, incredibly talkative selkie. He wished he had stayed under his rock.

my notes: this fic really blew me away, and honestly i'm shocked it doesn't seem to be that well-known...y'all please shower this fic with kudos or i stg. but in all seriousness, this is a really brilliant au. it's a faerie au which is something i don't think i've read before––i was so excited to hear about it and it exceeded my (already very high) expectations. the world-building is incredible, the characterization is perfect, the plot is so engrossing, all the friendships/relationships are developed so well and the klance is so sweet. i recommend this one so highly omg.

follow your heart (and follow my lead) || loulola || Keith/Lance || T+ || 43.4k || chs. 3/5 (incomplete)

It takes winning a gold medal at the Olympics for Keith to realize that he’s reached an impasse in his life. His career as center position for Team Canada’s olympic ice hockey team is flourishing- there’s a gold medal in his hand, after all. But the medal, a coveted achievement, hangs heavy in his hand, dead weight dragging him down. It brings him no satisfaction. He’s... stuck.

Then he meets Lance McClain, Team Canada's best shot at a gold medal in olympic figure skating. It's no secret that Lance is talented, and he captivates everyone on and off of the ice- Keith included. And it's Lance who convinces Keith to take the biggest risk of life: leave ice hockey to pursue figure skating, with Lance as his guide and partner.

No one said it would be easy.

my notes: Olympic au where Keith is a hockey player and Lance is a figure skater but then Lance convinces Keith to give up hockey for figure skating. Really nicely written, wonderful characterization, and the Klance in it is really sweet. It's just such a fun fic!

it’s you that’s haunting me || perfchan || Keith/Lance || T+ || 37.4k || chs. 6/6 (complete)

Keith is a loner; his interactions with others tend toward clumsy or strained, but he has a persistent enthusiasm for the paranormal. Lance is a recent college grad; caught up in his day-to-day, he wouldn’t call himself unhappy, but suddenly feels that his life lacks direction. When Lance is introduced to Keith’s ghost hunting videos, his interest is piqued and he can’t help but want to tag along. Initially opposed, Keith soon finds himself warming to the company of the living.

A little tongue-in-cheek, a little cliché, and a little bit of a slow burn. A not-too-serious ghost hunting AU.

my notes: i love ghosts/ghost hunting so i was so excited for this and it definitely lived up to my expectations! this was genuinely spooky and a lot of care/detail went into all the haunted settings. plus the klance dynamic in it is perfect, and their banter is so well-written and funny it had me laughing out loud. but they're also so sweet and caring with each other, too. all-around just super fun to read.

All The Way Down || speaks || Keith/Lance || T+ || 39.4k || chs. 1/1 (complete)

“You make it sound like we’re going into battle,” Hunk laughed worriedly on Lance’s other side. “I thought this was like, some kind of carnival.”

A chortle bubbled of out Coran’s throat as he slapped his side in amusement. “Some kind of carnival, he says! What an understatement! Allura, I think it’s high time to show the paladins precisely how and where we’re going to be spending the next three days. After you, Princess.”

A happy, childlike grin rapidly overtook Allura’s regal professionalism, and then a brilliant chink of light shone into the castle hall as she opened the front doors to the mountain they’d landed on twenty minutes ago.

Lance went slack-jawed as his eyes adjusted to the white-blue light of Krossin’s distant neutron star, and he almost stumbled as he and the other paladins followed Allura and Coran out onto the grass to take in the view laid out before them.

This place was a utopia.

my notes: at first glance this sounds like just a fun little "oh the team goes on some trip to a space carnival and wacky shenanigans ensue" but trust me it's much more than that. yes, there are plenty of wacky shenanigans, but also this is quite the emotional rollercoaster (pun intended). the setting, first of all, is super detailed and vivid and so creative. but also the characterization is fantastic and the klance is so well done. (side note: if you like pining lance then man....you gotta read this one.) i actually teared up a couple times reading this. trust me, it's that good.

I know nothing else, I know only this || laallomri || Keith/Lance || T+ || 28k || chs. 1/1 (complete)

“I feel like I’m in a bad teen movie,” Keith says as they creep down the hallway of the base.

“Well, we are sneaking out,” Lance says, “and we’re lying about where you’re gonna be the next few hours. If we really wanted to be accurate I’d have thrown pebbles at your window and you’d have climbed down a tree.”

He’s walking a little ahead of Keith, so he glances back at him, frowning. “If Kolivan’s in charge of the base, does this make him your dad in this scenario?”

“I think he’s too old for that,” Keith says. They round a corner, tiptoe down another hallway. “Maybe he’s the grandpa.”

In which Keith finds time in the midst of defending the universe to live out some of the tropes of a corny teenage romance.

my notes: this fic was so cute and made me smile so much! the humor in it was great and it made me laugh a bunch of times, but also keith and lance are so sweet and earnest with each other in it. also just wanna say hunk is characterized super well in this and there's really great hunk & keith friendship moments as well.

(Don’t) Ghost me || spiritcrimson || Keith/Lance || G || 3.1k || chs. 1/1 (complete)

Here’s the thing: Lance is used to rejection. He’s been rejected plenty, and sure, it stings for a while, but then it fades, and he’s back in the game. Namely, back to swiping through people on Tinder.

But when Lance runs into the guy who ghosted him, and he's been moping over ever since, randomly, at a cafe they were supposed to go to for their date, he realizes the Universe is either sending him a sign, or just mocking him. Knowing Lance's luck, it's probably both.

my notes: binch i love rom-com/meet-cute scenarios so i loved the premise of this and it was so good! keith and lance are both so in-character and adorably/realistically awkward.

say my name (and every color illuminates) || Talking_Bird || Keith/Lance || T+ || 27.8k || chs. 1/1 (complete)

Lance never thought he had a soulmate, but when he finds himself dreaming about a boy on Varadero Beach and in a southwestern desert, he learns they have an incredibly rare soul link–-one that allows them to form an unusually strong bond before they meet, but also exposes their greatest vulnerabilities to each other.

my notes: man, how do i even begin to describe how much i love this fic? it's seriously one of the most beautiful fanfics i've ever read. it's really soft and atmospheric, but it also packs a huge emotional punch. i'm telling you ... it takes a lot to make me cry, but there were several (several!) points in this fic where i literally could not read through the tears streaming from my eyes (some happy tears, some sad tears). what can i say? jessie is a genius and she has absolutely blown me away once again. you gotta read this one because it's absolutely stunning.

my own fics that updated this month:

red skies || Keith/Lance || T+ || 39.1k || chs. 4/?? (incomplete)

Lance doesn't know where he comes from––only that he was found in a forest on a distant planet when he was an infant, with no sign of his origin except a blue talisman around his neck. Nowadays he's content to travel the universe with his best friend Hunk, scavenging and selling goods. But that all changes when a girl named Pidge hitches a ride with them, and in the same day the trio finds a crashed ship carrying nothing but a boy with no memory of who he is ... and a red talisman that matches Lance's.

previously recommended fics // my fics

#vld #voltron #klance #fanfic #fic recs #monthly fic recs 2018 #brigidposts #text #sorry this is a couple days late #i somehow read so much during april lol #my may list will probs be a lot shorter than this one cuz i'm a lot busier now #so....take ur sweet time reading through these haha

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vernicle · 7 years

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<p>There weren't many nice moments on last night's 'Game of Thrones.' We found 5 anyway.</p>

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Welcome to “A Track of Nice and Fire” Upworthy’s weekly series recapping just one of the most brutal exhibits on Tv set. Given that brutality is not actually in our wheelhouse, Eric March has taken it upon himself to dig deep, twist and change, and squint actually tricky to see if he can find the light-weight of kindness in all the darkness. He may possibly not normally be successful, but by gosh if he won’t attempt his best.

Here’s what he observed on this week’s "Activity of Thrones."

To believe just final week, the characters on this display were curing lethal ailments, caressing just about every other tenderly, and buying and selling pie recipes.

About that. Picture by Helen Sloan/HBO.

Again to reality, I guess.

In an episode that observed handful of admirer beloved (and decidedly non-beloved) characters outmaneuvered, boxed in, and poisoned, I'll acknowledge there actually wasn't substantially loving kindness to go about.

Still, it is really my work to find whatever glimmer of niceness there is, and mainly because I like my health program, I achieved way down deep and observed ... some quite good times in year seven, episode three of "Activity of Thrones."

Alright, actually, actually, actually deep.

Listed here goes.

1. Sansa would make positive her knights are warm 'n cozy!

"No, I have not read Reinhold Niebuhr, what does he have to say about neo-orthodox realist theology?" Picture by Helen Sloan/HBO.

With Jon gone getting his dire warnings laughed off and his boat curiously appropriated, would Sansa rise to the challenge of primary the North?

Unsurprisingly, yeah, duh.

At rise this week, we find her striding by Winterfell serving orders to the castle's several comparable-looking maesters, producing positive the hay goes in which it requires to go and, most importantly, acquiring her southern palls to strap leather-based on their armor so they don't freeze to death.

Seem at individuals management skills blossoming!

Of system, she even now has to endure Littlefinger's incessant monologuing. "Each and every attainable series of functions is going on all at after," he suggests, reminding Sansa that, sure, he is having that freshman philosophy seminar and, sure, he did do all the looking at this week.

This is actually your recreation, person?

I mean...

Ugh.

It really is going to function, is just not it?

2. Some random Ironborn dudes are variety adequate to hoist Theon out of the sea!

Oh excellent, Theon receives to keep on dwelling!

Theon and Yara, viewed here in happier instances. Picture by Helen Sloan/HBO.

A gaggle of clanky boatsmen do the erstwhile heir to the Iron Islands a stable by not just sailing by and letting him drown. They do deal with to insult him in the procedure, but even even now, it is really extra than Theon deserves.

His Uncle Euron, in the meantime, receives a parade down the just one street in King's Landing we all know ... and sister Yara receives to be a part of for no cost! Regrettably, she has to endure it from the low-priced seats in which you get rotten veggies hurled at you. Immediately after a prolonged journey, although, perhaps it was good to briefly sniff a decaying tomato or two?

I'd go for it.

3. Cersei lets herself to briefly working experience empathy!

"Even although we're enemies, you and I, I comprehend the fury that drives you."

That line, delivered to a shackled and gagged Ellaria Sand, clocks in at precisely two seconds — the longest sustained appreciation Cersei has at any time expressed for an additional human being's perspective.

Just thinkin' up means to torture you. Picture by Helen Sloan/HBO.

Indeed, the quite upcoming point she does is condemn Tyene to a distressing death of not known period and Ellaria to hanging out with her lifeless daughter's corpse for months or years or decades, but hey! I obtained Cersei on this week's listing of good times. Cersei! I did not even have to cheat.

Oh, and sub-good point shoutout to Davids Benioff and Weiss for selecting not to matter us to an additional implied, gratuitous rape-and-torture-by-Mountain. The scene was obviously, fully headed there until eventually all of a unexpected it wasn't and, well ... phew! Fantastic phone, every person.

4. Daenerys treats Jon to an all-you-can-mine obsidian buffet!

The dragon's share of the episode is taken up by a prolonged-winded meeting amongst Jon Snow and his Aunt Dany (here's the prolonged-speculated, Bran-affirmed loved ones tree from final season's finale) who, unusually, is skeptical about this entire "White Walker" point inspite of supplying delivery to three traveling, hearth-breathing, sky dinosaurs like, final week. Probably it is really mainly because she's skeptical of the messenger — the beardy person with the wolf snuggie who calls himself "king" and would not pledge his allegiance inspite of the dozens (hundreds) of curvy blades inside of torso-piercing selection.

Picture by Helen Sloan/HBO.

Still, the would-be queen requires allies, and so, immediately after apologizing for the time her father napalmed Jon's grandpa and uncle to death, she tells him to assistance himself to all the dragonglass he wants and get the heck out.

Absolutely sure, she doesn't want the things or even actually know what it is, but she can inform the person is earnest, and besides, you gotta respect any one who will come so much south with a lifeless animal on their neck.

Which is just style-ahead.

5. Jamie kills Olenna the good way!

"Oh, just one extra point serious brief." Picture by Helen Sloan/HBO.

The poor information? Cersei manages to foil Tyrion's also-clever-by-50 percent sewer invasion program by sending the bulk of her army to murder an outdated woman.

The excellent information? Jaime is the just one who receives to do the murdering, and as a qualified Reformed Terrible Male in Fantastic Standing, he lets the Queen of Thorns choose the (somewhat) easy way out.

In a world in which revenge killing usually is made up of beheading, flaying alive, hungry puppy-siccing, stabbing-by-the-expecting-stomach, and/or slow neck slicing immediately after power-feeding the blissfully-unaware-condemned his very own kin, a brief, pain-free poison-in-the-wine counts as a win.

Even when the elder Tyrell lets it slip that she killed Jaime's child way back again in year 4, he chooses to sullen himself out of the home relatively than revert to Cersei's original head-slicing program.

Score just one for that renowned Lannister restraint!

Random Functions of Niceness

I suppose it is really good that Bran complimented Sansa's costume, but did he actually have to carry up her wedding ceremony day? Yeah, he wasn't about for the aftermath, but dude is all-figuring out and all-looking at. Come on.

It really is awesome that Archmaester Ebrose doesn't expel Sam from the Citadel. As prolonged as the Xerox equipment is up and jogging, Sam should be all excellent.

Jaime Lannister really sends his regards to Robb Stark. Nice of him not to hold grudges.

Whew. That was a stretch, y'all!

See you upcoming week when with any luck , anyone picks Gray Worm up in a Jeep, Bronn stitches Randyll Tarly a lanyard for his broadsword, and Varys would make a mate who doesn't operate about vaguely forecasting his doom. Really should be fun!

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bwicblog · 7 years

Text

SA: i am on my train.

ID: =:P rude. have a safe trip.

SA: I will be working a lot when I get hive so I will not be around often. If I never come back just assume the worst.

SA: 👌

ID: wow pris. that's a nice thought. =:/

SA: it is a realistic and necessary one.

SA: but I suppose that too must sound very edgy.

ID: i meant that it's not nice to worry about you getting your ass culled. =:/

SA: I'm upset about something else.

SA: it's fine. I have a very good track record.

ID: well i'm sorry you're upset about something. but don't take it out on me bud! that's just cruel.

SA: I'm not trying to I'm sorry if I am

SA: I will move this.

ID: siiiippppsss. you around here?

ID: and, uh. still at the faire/around the faire?

ID: siiippsss. sippie cup. sip and dip.

ID: what are more nicknames. siphilis.

SA: That's horrible

ID: sipman. =:(

ID: damn. probably missed her.

AA: siphilis is the wornst fucking thing i have evern hearnd, gjjjj.

ID: hey, it worked didn't it?

ID: is the giving me a ride out of this place offer still valid?

ID: i got my coupon and everything. and i'm ready to demand to talk to the manager if you say no.

AA: like, even wornst than everny othern godawful thing on that list. >:}

AA: and lmfaooo.

AA: soz, soz, i am the managern and we don't accept coupons. C A S H O N L Y, frnesh fancy beetles orn bust.

AA: y, y, you can have a rnide. I G U E S S. wherne arne we drnopping you??

AA: ... and yrn pops.

ID: where ever. =:) but i don't want to travel alone this busted up.

ID: and you and pris are the only ones i trust not to cull my injured ass.

SA: are you sure you shouldn't just stay with Sipara for a bit?

ID: i mean, i'm not gonna intrude on her. that's hella rude.

AA: aww. that's adornbs. i am offic, like, not crneepy skinsuit connoseuir level. >:} gtk.

AA: wait, n, that's fucking indeciphernable.

AA: g2k. >:}

SA: oh right, the skin suits.

AA: y. a verny imporntant and valid concern. AA: how many skinsuits you own, prni??

AA: and y/y/y, trnavel w/ me forn awhile, hads. idgaf. gotta drnop off lal and then get 2 a fight. AA: but eyyy, if you don't carne abt rniding shotgun, wtfevern.

ID: i mean you came to my fight. i can totes go to yours. show off that rust solidarity and all. =:P

SA: none. Thank you.

SA: where are your fights, Sipara? If one is ever near Provenance let me know.

SA: likewise. Hadean, if you come close.

ID: i might eventually make my way your way to visit! you promised me a shopping trip, remember? =:P

SA: !!!

SA: please

AA: soz, soz, am juggling, like.

AA: this stupid teapot. >:0

ID: ...teapot.

ID: =:?

AA: y! it doesn't have a handle. bc ppl arne fucking nuts.

AA: and it is hot. >:{

ID: why are you handling a teapot to begin with?

AA: to pernsonally intrnoduce it to my quads as my latest beau, duh.

AA: to make tea, dornklornd, trny2keepup.

AA: and they'rne, like, evernywherne, prni, lmfao. AA: how's the fight scene in prnovenance?? bc lbrn herne, have prnobs totes fought therne, even if idr the name. >:P AA: like, i've gone eveeeeeernywherne.

ID: i mean why are you making tea?

ID: ...and also, uh. you want an apple pie smoothie? i mean. gotta bribe my way in to shotgun and all. =:P

AA: >:? AA: >:??????? AA: >:????????????

AA: to drnink it!!

EA: +T=a is on= of th= obj=ctiv=ly b=st drinks to hav=.- EA: +Appl= pi= smoothi= do=s sound... r=ally up th=r= how=v=r, too. H=llo =v=ryon=!-

SA: oh. I don't know. I am familiar with the crime scene but not the fight scrne

ID: psh, have a smoothie instead. =:P

SA; so I couldn't name names.

SA: what about a regular smoothie.

EA: +All smoothi=s ar= r=gular smoothi=s.-

AA: gausie gausie gausieeeeeee. AA: sup. AA: and y, y, will totes take a smoothie. arne you gonna brning it? is deliverny parnt of the brnibe?? >:}

EA: +H=y sipa sipa sipaaaaa- EA: +Mayb= h= is trying to sw==t=n you up. Butt=r you up. Mayb= both? It is an appl= pi= smooothi= aft=r all.-

ID: i mean i gotta get to your sweet ride don't i? i'll bring it over.

ID: i saw sips eyeing up apples before so like. i thought she would want one. can't hurt being nice to the troll who's gonna cart me around and all.

EA: +W=ll... it is always good to practic= your mann=rs, I agr==! But... towards of all p=opl=, Sipara?- EA: +No off=ns=, Sipa, but I n=v=r took you for such a... hmm. No, mayb= sh= is th= typ=, sh= do=sn't hav= to buy it... 🤔 -

AA: ugh ugh ugh, this pot S U C K S.

ID: don't burn your mitts or else you won't be able to drive. =:P

EA: +Do you n==d a n=w t=apot? what happ=n=d-

ID: and sips is one of the only ones who deserves manners, so. =:P

AA: and. what? huh. y. ty. >:} a+ brniberny, i fucking love apples. AA: best frnuit. way bettern fucking lemons.

ID: i like any sweet shit, so. gtfo lemons.

ID: should i get lal a smoothie.

AA: and lmfao, stfu, gausia. i totes desernve all the mannerns. all of them. take a fucking cue. AA: my teapot is fine!! it's, like. this hotel rnoom has a diff type.

AA: and it fucking sucks.

AA: yyyyyyy!!

ID: alright, four smoothies it is.

EA: +I n=v=r said you w=r= und=s=rving of mann=rs! I just thought you w=r=... on= to forsak= th=m in =xchang= for.... =xc==dingly casual conv=rsation?-

AA: >:? AA: chillax, girnl, we'rne, like, joking. hads and me arne totes tight. no mannerns necessarny. AA: and yyyyy, awesome. >:} do you want tea, dude? will even make it w/ nothing added. on account of the fact yrn supern lame.

ID: sure, hit me up on some tea i guess. boring ass tea. =:P

ID: ea does she try and get you to drink mind honey tea. or am i special.

EA: +i am just saying! I n=v=r r=ally... p=gg=d you to b= th= typ= to =v=n r=cogniz= th=m. Fil=ld with surpris=s, you ar=! ANd...- EA: +... I r=m=mb=r h=r saying som=thing about mind hon=y wh=n w= last drank t=a. Som=thing about th= plac='s t=a b=ing too bland, or... som=thing...- EA: +Why do you ask?-

ID: because i need to know how weird sips is. naturally.

EA: +W=ll! I thought that it would go without saying, r=ally, h=h=.- EA: +I suppos= it is a bit bizarr= but I am not 100% sur=.-

AA: G A U S I A

ID: seems pretty bizarre to me. =:P

AA: ... oops. AA: shit, i was gonna say something. but, okay, like, dnw, nobodies getting tea now, it fucking brnoke.

AA: oh. yeah. rnight. G A U S I A does not get the honey tea, 'kay. >:P she's bougie, she can buy hern own.

ID: well good thing i'm coming to the rescue with smoothies.

AA: and both of you stfu, i am totes not weirnd.

AA: or bizarnrne. gj on the big wornds. >:P AA: and yyyyyyyy, good!! lmk when you need in. will come fetch.

EA: +I am sorry, Sipara, but I b=li=v= th= old saying of 'Tak=s On= to Know On=' rings tru= for this curr=nt situation!- EA: +And if you think bizarr= is a big word... w=ll, I will hav= to gift you a dictonary and th=sarus for your wriggling day.-

SS: (Okay, y'all, we're gettin' a new rule up in this place, aight?)

SS: (It's a real important rule!)

SS: (So you gotta be real attentive-like.)

EA: +Is this going to b= a jok= about 'no w=irdos in th= chat'?-

SS: (Make sure you don't miss it or some ish like that.)

SS: (And no, EA, then I'd be up and bannin' myself and the chat would die cos peeps'd be too depressed to go on.)

SS: (The rule is!) SS: (The rule.) SS: (The rule is that if you've up and got a guy sleepin on your cushioned seatin' platform, a guy what up and spends, like, what 12 hours a night makin' soy free low-fat 2% whip chai lattes and all that hoofbeastshit!)

SS: (If you got a guy like that around.)

ID: sorry, was getting the smoothies. uh lal i hope you like strawberry banana.

SS: (Ask him how to make your effin steeped leaf juice before you blow it up and scare the piss outta everyone in the buildin on accounta the new ceramic shard art piece decoratin' the nutrition block.)

SS: (Oh, shit, you got me a smoothie?)

SS: (Nm, idc anymore bout the tea, life is good again.)

AA: stfu, i made the nutrnition block bettern. it's, like, grnafitti. AA: w/ glass. AA: and burn marnks.

SS: (And crying wigglers.)

AA: it builds charnactern!

ID: pfff. i got everything packed and some smoothies so. where am i going.

EA: +I am going to b= hon=st, it do=s sound lik= you two ar= having your first days without prop=r lusii sup=rvision-

SS: (Oh, no, Sipa's lusus is here.)

SS: (He's probs laughin at me, too. (\qnq/) )

SS: (Flapbeasts of a feather!)

AA: n, n, we arne having a jolly good time w/ my lusus, gausie. that's why shit's exploding, duh. in honorn of 'em. AA: and y, y, that's what the mantling means. AA: and the firne. the morne rned it is, the morne he's, like, fucking chorntling. >:}

AA: fifth strneet!! second floorn. place w/ the giant hootbeast on the frnont.

SS: (I didn't actually, like, know we were in a place w a giant hoofbeast up top but now I'm extra pleased.)

SS: (Also, Sipa, random fact: )

SS: (Totes thought he was your psi first time I saw him.)

SS: (Wtf kinda flapbeast catches fire??)

AA: lmfao, whaaaaat. AA: dude, do i look like a sparnkplug?

ID: omw. =:) can't wait to see the teapot destruction.

AA: use yrn elf eyes and lmk. AA: will wait forn prnopern analysis. >:}

SS: (Wow, pal, that's some casteist ish comin outta your facegash. (\unu/ ))

AA: >:}!!! yyyy, good. have you eaten tonight btw?? orn arne you doing the starnving waif shit again?

SS: (Hashtag not all sparkplugs.)

ID: ...do two smoothies count.

AA: wow, n. AA: if it was casteist shit, it'd obvs be tell me what yrn dwnarf eyes see, losern.

AA: N O.

ID: i also had some sushi.

ID: but that stuff does not stick with you.

SS: (Is that, like, lits?) SS: (As in it ain't inside you anymore?)

SS: (Cos: gross.)

ID: woowww. no. i meant for keeping a troll not hungry. duh.

ID: it's fancy seadweller stuff. all pretty, no substance.

SS: (Wait, for cereals?) SS: (I had that ish, like, once, and it stays with you for, like ever.) SS: (It's rice and fish, pal, idk what you ate, buuuuut.)

SS: (And I ain't even had the ones with fish, just rice and veg.)

SS: (... You sure they gave you what they said they gave you?)

ID: i mean it was definitely fish and rice.

ID: pris gave it to me. but i burn through food fast.

SS: (Right, right, the bleatbeast sacrifice to the Demoness and ish.)

SS: (... Soz, pal, we ain't got, like, another one athose.)

EA: +... You know, uh. Sushi is mor= than just fish and ric=? It's a sp=cial sort of ric= with th=, g=n=rally, uh... b=st part of th= fish s=rv=d with it? It's usually d=ns= too. Rolls ar= also filling, but, uh.- EA: +I do think you may hav= gott=n, what's th= word... jipp=d?-

SS: (Fancy pants rice with fancy pants fish )

SA: it's good.

AA: 'kay, i am ornderning actual food. bc wow, fish is not actual food, srny2say. AA: fish is, like. the lettuce of the sea. it doesn't even have C A L O RN I E S.

AA: tbqfh, i don't even think it's rneal.

SS: (Idk, pal, there was that one fish that up and walked into Pher's stall earliner. (\unu/) )

ID: i mean it tasted alright. but it was a while ago. and i get hungry quick.

SA: salmon is nutritious 😦

EA: +... ???? Do you know what sort of sushi did you =at? You can't just put, uh.... tuna fish from a can and put it on ric= to call it sushi.-

SA: it was from a restaurant it was legitimate sushi EA

SS: (Wtf, pal, what kinda language policeradicatin is this??)

AA: y, pls do not make sushi outta that kind of fish. new rnule: this is a no cannibalism chat. AA: not even, like, low-key cannibalism.

AA: not even fish cannibalism. >:}

ID: ....

ID: yeah no cannibalism. hella rude.

EA: +?????????????????-

AA: don't you ??? at me. i'm talking to lal!!

SA: who brought up cannibalism??

ID: i'm gonna get triggered back to the fucking rainbowdrinker chat earlier.

SA: don't bring that up I'm still embarrassed by my ill received snark

SA: 🙁

AA: lal. he's grnoss, shame him. >:} AA: orn mb we should be shaming prni. AA: what's the rnainbowdrninkern chat??

EA: +I was mor= ????? about th= curr=nt conv=rsation but if you insist!- EA: +???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????-

AA: gimme the dee - stfuuuuu stfu stfu.

AA: no q marnks!!

SA: my cappuccino has a kitty face

ID: team edward or team lestat sip. =:P

SS: (It was totes Sipa, omfg, all I up and said that fish exist. Ain't my fault she immediately wants to, like, eat em.)

EA: +?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????-

SS: (Team Edward all the way!)

EA: +That is gross, Sipara.-

AA: oh my god. dude, n, i am not falling down that rnabbit hole. phern's gonna shank me if i get the wrnong on-- AA: n/m, n/m, team lestat.

AA: obvs. duh.

SS: (Mostly on accounta I'm p sure he's got a bigger followin and I ain't plannin on gettin shanked by some fantroll.)

AA: yrn grnoss, gausia, i am being misrneprnesented. >:}

SS: (On accounta not likin sparkly hoofbeast ish.)

SS: (Had enough athat with My Little Hoofbeast!)

AA: wherne is yrn faith??

SS: (It disappeared along with the teapot.)

EA: +I think you ar= th= gross on=s to =v=n b= thinking about sw=aty, sparkly vampir= and w=r=wolf m=n.-

SS: (Sweaty, you say?)

SS: (Ain't nobody said sweaty yet. Please, tell me more. (\ouo/) )

AA: why they gotta be sweaty??

ID: wow ea, it's all every loser is talking about these days.

AA: and arne they sweaty and shirntless? b/c you can't have one w/o the othern, dude.

ID: everyone wants to get necked by their own super special rainbowdrinker.

AA: lmfaooo.

AA: which supernaturnal drninkern's forn you, hads? >:}

AA: skinny jeans orn frnills??

SS: (Shit, pal, I ain't got nuff blood for myself, nm some other jade bulgewad.)

ID: from google images i like frilly's. mate?

EA: +Rainbow drink=rs and w=r=wolv=s ar= obj=ctiv=ly th= worst part of mod=rn fantasy nov=ls. Th= r=al thing w= should b= talking about is th= n=w movi= of Troll Star Wars s=ri=s!- EA: +P=opl= r=ally n==d to adjust th=ir tast=s! On= s=ri=s has a strong, tast=ful f=mal= l=ad, whil= th= oth=r on= has on= of th= most distast=ful, bland protagonists I hav= =v=r s==n in my lif=. -

SA: so wait is your goal to steal lestats mate from him?

ID: i mean they're imaginary characters pris so. no.

ID: but y'know, desert island and had to pick one.

ID: he seems the least tool-y.

SA: well that's what I meant -

SA: I can't commit to Star Wars

ID: i don't watch movies.

EA: +How can you not commit to Star Wars? =v=ry movi= is a good jumping point into th= s=ri=s!-

AA: n, starn warns and drninkerns arne both lame. AA: why watch a film if it's just gonna be, like, half rneal shit? AA: obvs, trnoll lornd of the rnings is wherne it's A T.

AA: also, filled with total not-tools.

AA: mostly not-tools.

AA: sornt of not tools. >:}

ID: loool really selling it there sips.

EA: +... Of cours= you would b= into th= s=ri=s about b=ard=d m=n killing =ach oth=r and th= short, uncooth p=opl= ar= th= h=ro=s of th= story.-

ID: HAH.

AA: stfu!! yrn totes gonna watch it w/ me and lal now, jsyk. AA: it is a rnequirnement of giving smoothies. M O V I E M A RN A T H O N S.

AA: also, a rnequirnement of eating this shit i'm ornderning. >:}

AA: ... arne you saying yrn totes N O T into dudes murnderning each othern, gausie?? AA: bc spoilern alernt, totes not buying it.

ID: ughhh fine. sorry it's taking me a while. picked up a different kind of snack on the way.

SS: (Pal, we're gonna need way more smoothies to marathon that ish.)

SS: (And possibly, like, field rations.)

EA: +Don't thos= movi=s actually tak= lik=... ov=r a day if w= ar= watching all of th=m?- EA: +And, okay, I am fin= with p=opl= murd=ring =ach oth=r, but th=y ar= still... ugly and filthy half th= tim=. At l=ast wash up b=for= you go to battl=!-

EA: +... wait you want m= to s== movi=s with you?-

ID: oh is ea joining us. more the merrier. am i the only one who has no idea what we're watching.

EA: +Wait, right now???? What is =v=n going on, som=on= giv= m= a straight answ=r h=r=.- EA: +... H=h=, straight answ=r, h=h=h=h...-

AA: hahaha. AA: washing up just to get coverned in blood? girnl, gtfo yrn lab forn once. AA: was talking to hads. >:} but y, if yrn in the arnea, you can come w/. brning food, bc brnibes arne rnequirned to get in the doorn.

AA: and we'rne watching trnoll lornd of the rnings, duh, dude. AA: once you get yrn candy ass up herne. >:P

EA: +.... Oh! W=ll, uh, okay, I'll g=t, uh, g=t my ass going th=n? Y=ah, uh, okay...- EA: +I gu=ss I can bring ov=r som=.. bak=d goods? Lik= cooki=s, browni=s, mayb= donuts... d=p=nds on what is clos= by. I am not at th= lab, so, it shouldn't b= long!- EA: +Lik=... I think donuts might b= a good id=a. Lots of flavors, though, th=r= wouldn't b= as many as cooki=s or browni=s, but th=y also hav= fruit in th=m, so, that might b= just b=tt=r in th= long run, but, I could also g=t a _lot_ of cooki=s-

ID: any of those sound amazing, so.

AA: ........ omg, y. AA: that is an adequate brnibe. >:}

EA: +Okay! Th=r= is a stor= right by that I can... uh, visit, didn't on= of you say that you want=d t=a? W=r= w= talking about, uh, sw==t t=a-typ= t=a or r=gular, normal p=rson t=a? B=caus=, you know, if I am at a stor=, I can go and g=t tons of stuff. W=ll, not a lot of stuff, b=caus= I am not r=ally as flush=d for cash as I usually am, but lik=, if th=r= is som=thing that som=on= is ACTUALLY n==ding EA: I can bring it? Or lik=...- EA: +... W=ll, no, you guys hav= drinks th=r=.- EA: +... hmm.-

ID: if you have a teapot. bring it and we promise not to let sips break it.

EA: +I... do hav= a t=a k=ttl= that should b=. Or, w=ll, is possibly imp=rvious to Sipara's d=structiv= hands. I'm... not sur=?- EA: +Sp=cifically a t=a pot??-

ID: i mean. sips you still have tea you didn't destroy right.

EA: +I... I am going to tak= that as 'I should bring my own t=a' just to b= saf=. I do hav= dry t=a that w= can br=w, not just uh... t=a, bags.-

ID: it's all leaves you put in water to me, so go for it.

SA: party?

AA: soz. pops is trnying to bake a nest on Lal's dome. little distrnacting. >:} AA: brning yrn own if you want!! am just making cocoa tea tbh. not yrn fancy blueblood shit. >:P AA: and lmaooo, you don't need to brning a grnocerny, holy shit. just donuts. chillax alrneady. >:}

AA: and y. a parnty of elves and feasting.

SA: oh! That sounds fun.

SA: send selfies.

SA: when you all get together

EA: +Alright!!! I am all dr=ss=d up and h=ading out!!!! I should b= th=r=, r=lativ=ly soon? - EA: +Also. I am not an =lf. Nor is anyon= =ls= at th= party going to b= an =lf. =lv=s ar= almost as bad as rainbow drink=rs.-

ID: damn, my delicate elven features go unused another night. =:P

EA: +You'r= only g=tting plain donuts now.-

ID: i got a broken arm, show some mercy. =:(

EA: +M=rcy is for th= cull=d!!!! Don't push your luck kid!!!!-

ID: pfffff. who're you calling kid, kid?

EA: +You! B=caus= you ar= probably a kid. I hav=n't s==n you y=t. I think. So you ar= probably a kid.-

ID: definitely not a kid.

ID: sips and lal can confirm. not a kid.

SS: (Deffo a kid.)

SS: (But, like, the bleatbeast kind!)

SS: (Just real smart-like one what learned to talk. And, like, type.)

ID: typing is hard with these hooves but i manage.

SS: (He's a real trooper!)

EA: +I wouldn't b= surpris=d. How many donuts? Doz=n? Doz=n and a half??- EA: +I don't know how much goats =at, r=ally.-

ID: a lot.

ID: lal eats a fucking lot too, so.

EA: +... I am not buying mor= than two doz=n.-

ID: well sips is getting food too, so. shouldn't eat that many.

EA: +Alright. I'll g=t... a doz=n and a half and call it that. I'll b= ov=r in... uh...- EA: +How far away is your plac= again?-

invertedDissident has sent coordsyo.txt!

ID: ps lal knock knock, let me in.

EA: +... Oh! W=ll, that's a first. I didn't think you would b= th= typ= to, just... put coordinat=s out th=r= on a group chat lik= that.- EA: +I'll b= on my way th=n! Giv= m=========== tw=nty minut=s? Tw=nty fiv=. At worst 30. At b=st 20.-

ID: i mean if someone wants to come fight us, come at us. =:P

#c:laledy #c:sipara #c:gausia #c:prisma #c:hadean

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